1
00:00:26,854 --> 00:00:30,202
Life is like a parody
of your favorite song.
2
00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:32,929
Just when you think
you know all the words,
3
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:37,347
surprise, you don't
know anything.
4
00:00:42,594 --> 00:00:44,527
Clear the way, clear the way!
5
00:00:44,665 --> 00:00:45,804
Clear!
6
00:00:45,942 --> 00:00:47,323
Shut that door, please!
7
00:00:53,639 --> 00:00:54,606
Clear!
8
00:00:58,023 --> 00:01:00,405
Dammit. Dammit!
9
00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:05,479
All right, nurse, let's call it.
10
00:01:06,997 --> 00:01:09,310
Time of death: 7:30--
11
00:01:11,554 --> 00:01:14,177
Quick!
12
00:01:14,315 --> 00:01:16,593
I need some paper,
and a number two pencil.
13
00:01:16,731 --> 00:01:19,838
But... maybe I'm getting
a little ahead of myself.
14
00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:27,673
Why don't we start
back at the beginning.
15
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:32,989
All gabardine
suits are now 30% off.
16
00:01:34,818 --> 00:01:36,751
Jenkins in to the windup,
17
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,926
and the three-two fastball
is in the--
18
00:01:40,721 --> 00:01:42,516
President Nixon
is on board Air--
19
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:48,901
♪ Dr. Demento, Dr. Demento ♪
20
00:01:49,039 --> 00:01:53,665
Whoo-whoo-whoo,
wind up your radio!
21
00:01:53,803 --> 00:01:57,186
It's time for
The Dr. Demento Show,
22
00:01:57,324 --> 00:02:02,708
two hours of mad music
and crazy comedy
23
00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:05,573
- from out of the archives...
- Alfy!
24
00:02:05,711 --> 00:02:08,128
What have we told you
about listening to that garbage?
25
00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:10,199
But Mom, it's Dr. Demento.
26
00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:12,028
It's my favorite show
in the whole world.
27
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,754
It's going to rot your brain.
28
00:02:13,892 --> 00:02:15,583
You're lucky your father wasn't
here to catch you, mister.
29
00:02:15,721 --> 00:02:17,999
You know how he feels
about that kind of music.
30
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,140
Yes, I know.
31
00:02:23,453 --> 00:02:27,077
All right. Now go on,
go get washed up.
32
00:02:27,216 --> 00:02:29,356
Dinner will be ready
in a few minutes.
33
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:13,400
Alfy, aren't you going to ask
your father how his day was?
34
00:03:13,538 --> 00:03:16,506
Um, how was your day, Dad?
35
00:03:18,888 --> 00:03:21,615
What, how was my day?
36
00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:24,031
We had another fatality
down at the factory.
37
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,895
Oh, God, real grisly
one this time.
38
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:28,587
It was that McKinley kid
that started last week.
39
00:03:28,725 --> 00:03:30,589
I kept telling him
to stop messing around
40
00:03:30,727 --> 00:03:34,524
by that industrial shredder,
but he just wouldn't listen.
41
00:03:34,662 --> 00:03:36,457
I would've reached
out and grabbed him,
42
00:03:36,595 --> 00:03:40,392
but I already lost one hand
to that cursed machine.
43
00:03:42,463 --> 00:03:45,190
Well, anyway, there's an opening
down on the factory floor.
44
00:03:45,328 --> 00:03:46,881
Maybe I could pull a few strings
45
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:48,918
and you could spend the summer
working with your old man.
46
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,609
How's that sound?
47
00:03:50,747 --> 00:03:52,680
Um, no thank you.
48
00:03:52,818 --> 00:03:54,199
"No, thank you."
49
00:03:54,337 --> 00:03:55,925
Well, you're gonna have to learn
sooner or later,
50
00:03:56,063 --> 00:03:59,618
that factory, that factory
will make a man outta you.
51
00:03:59,756 --> 00:04:01,793
But I don't wanna work
at the factory.
52
00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:03,346
I wanna make songs.
53
00:04:03,484 --> 00:04:08,593
What? You wanna make songs?
Did you hear that, Mary?
54
00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:11,492
We got a regular Bing Crosby
on our hands, don't we?
55
00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:13,218
Nick, you're embarrassing him.
56
00:04:13,356 --> 00:04:16,532
Oh, am I? Why don't you sing
us a little ditty, Bing, huh?
57
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:19,500
Such a little songbird.
Sing one for us.
58
00:04:24,402 --> 00:04:28,268
♪ Amazing grapes ♪
59
00:04:28,406 --> 00:04:31,650
♪ How sweet the juice ♪
60
00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:36,276
♪ It tastes so good to me... ♪
61
00:04:36,414 --> 00:04:39,555
Stop, stop! What in God's name
are you doing?
62
00:04:39,693 --> 00:04:41,419
Those aren't the right words.
63
00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:44,214
I know. I made 'em better.
64
00:04:44,353 --> 00:04:47,356
By changing the lyrics
to a well-known song?
65
00:04:47,494 --> 00:04:50,531
No, boy, what you're doing
is confusing and evil.
66
00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:52,222
My God, and I will not have
67
00:04:52,361 --> 00:04:54,777
that kind of blasphemy
in my own home.
68
00:04:54,915 --> 00:04:56,261
But Dad...
69
00:04:56,399 --> 00:04:58,505
What has gotten
into you, Alfred?
70
00:04:58,643 --> 00:05:01,093
Hmm? With the songs
and the crazy magazines?
71
00:05:01,231 --> 00:05:04,131
That is all gonna stop now,
young man!
72
00:05:04,269 --> 00:05:05,822
Honey, I know it's
hard to hear this,
73
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,585
but your dad and I
had a long talk
74
00:05:09,723 --> 00:05:12,760
and we agreed it would be best
for all of us
75
00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:15,522
if you would just stop
being who you are
76
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,593
and doing the things you love.
77
00:05:19,008 --> 00:05:21,182
You don't understand me!
78
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,915
It was a few weeks later
79
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:32,228
when a mysterious stranger
showed up at my door
80
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:36,232
and changed my life forever.
81
00:05:38,268 --> 00:05:40,201
Alfy, get the door.
82
00:05:42,307 --> 00:05:43,722
Why, good afternoon, sir.
83
00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:45,379
The gentleman of the house,
I take it?
84
00:05:45,517 --> 00:05:47,968
Well, congratulations.
Today is your lucky day.
85
00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:51,558
How would you like to be
the envy of all of your friends
86
00:05:51,696 --> 00:05:53,525
and the most popular
fellow in town?
87
00:05:53,663 --> 00:05:56,114
Well, everything you
need to make that happen...
88
00:05:56,252 --> 00:05:58,392
is right here in this box.
89
00:06:01,533 --> 00:06:04,640
Um, my dad is actually...
90
00:06:04,778 --> 00:06:07,401
- Voila.
91
00:06:07,539 --> 00:06:09,299
Feast your eyes.
92
00:06:10,784 --> 00:06:16,790
Have you ever seen
such a gorgeous instrument?
93
00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:22,451
Better yet, try it on.
94
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,628
Son, when you play
the accordion,
95
00:06:27,766 --> 00:06:29,665
you are a one-man band.
96
00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:33,254
You are the life of every party.
97
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,223
Go ahead, son,
tickle those ivories.
98
00:06:42,229 --> 00:06:43,817
A natural talent.
99
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,407
Son, you cannot squander that.
100
00:06:47,545 --> 00:06:50,030
You have got to buy this beauty,
and I guarantee it,
101
00:06:50,168 --> 00:06:52,619
you are gonna have girls
lined up around the corner.
102
00:06:52,757 --> 00:06:54,172
You're gonna need a lifeguard
103
00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:56,933
because you're gonna be
drowning in so much p--
104
00:06:57,071 --> 00:06:59,488
Hey! What's going on?
105
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:01,628
And hello to you, sir.
106
00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:03,664
What are you doing in my house?
107
00:07:03,802 --> 00:07:05,632
And why is my
innocent young child
108
00:07:05,770 --> 00:07:07,461
wearing that
devil's squeeze box?
109
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:08,635
That's actually our newest--
110
00:07:08,773 --> 00:07:10,395
I thought I told you to shut up!
111
00:07:12,846 --> 00:07:14,813
I don't remember you telling me
to shut up before,
112
00:07:14,951 --> 00:07:17,126
but if you're telling me now,
I will gladly--
113
00:07:21,993 --> 00:07:23,304
Dad!
114
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,342
- Ah!
115
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,417
Dad, stop! You're killing him!
116
00:07:33,349 --> 00:07:34,626
Nick? Oh Nick, oh Nick!
117
00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:38,112
No, Nick! Hey!
Nicky, stop it right now!
118
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,942
You made me do this, boy.
119
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,944
You brought this evil
into the house.
120
00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:42,876
And now look at you.
121
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:44,464
Look at you.
122
00:07:44,602 --> 00:07:48,847
Take that devilish monstrosity
off this very instant.
123
00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:51,056
I don't wanna see you
ever wearing it again!
124
00:07:51,194 --> 00:07:53,645
Nick, why don't you go
take a little walk?
125
00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:55,613
I think you'd better cool off.
126
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,270
- Yeah. Yeah.
127
00:07:58,408 --> 00:08:02,551
I could use some fresh air
because it stinks in here.
128
00:08:12,112 --> 00:08:15,391
I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.
129
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:20,051
I'll be right here.
130
00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:23,744
Mister, I'm so sorry about this.
131
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:26,609
My husband, he just has
a little bit of a temper,
132
00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:28,818
but he is a good man
and he means well,
133
00:08:28,956 --> 00:08:32,512
but anyway,
if you're amenable to it,
134
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:35,342
we'd like to buy that accordion.
135
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,171
Mom! You mean it?
136
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,588
How do you feel about
an early Christmas present?
137
00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:42,349
Yes! This is
the best thing ever!
138
00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:44,489
Thank you so much!
139
00:08:45,904 --> 00:08:47,527
There's just one thing.
140
00:08:51,185 --> 00:08:56,674
No one can see you playing it,
especially your father.
141
00:08:56,812 --> 00:09:00,091
This is our secret.
Do you understand me?
142
00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:07,408
Mom... does Dad hate me?
143
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:11,585
No, of course not, sweetie.
144
00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:15,071
Then why is he always
so hard on me?
145
00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:19,075
Listen, you're too young
to understand now,
146
00:09:19,213 --> 00:09:23,217
but just trust me,
your father has his reasons.
147
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:27,152
I think
I have a collapsed lung.
148
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:31,743
We're trying to have
a conversation here, sir.
149
00:09:31,881 --> 00:09:34,297
For the next few years,
I kept to myself
150
00:09:34,435 --> 00:09:36,817
and tried my best
to please Mom and Dad,
151
00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:40,821
but deep down,
I felt like I was living a lie.
152
00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:43,790
Sure. I was well-behaved,
I got good grades,
153
00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:47,932
but I never let anyone know
the real me.
154
00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:51,970
Hey, Yankovic, you going to that
party at Hofstadter's tonight?
155
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:55,560
- His parents are out of town.
- Ah, geez, guys, I don't know.
156
00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:57,666
I'm not really allowed
to go to parties.
157
00:09:57,804 --> 00:09:59,426
You don't need to have
your parents' permission.
158
00:09:59,564 --> 00:10:00,530
Just sneak out.
159
00:10:00,669 --> 00:10:02,256
I-I don't think I can.
160
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,534
My mom always tucks me in,
in case I have night terrors.
161
00:10:04,673 --> 00:10:06,226
You have night terrors?
162
00:10:06,364 --> 00:10:08,366
No, I--You know, just in case.
163
00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:11,300
Well, just use a hay boy, then.
164
00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:13,716
A hay boy? What's that?
165
00:10:13,854 --> 00:10:15,131
You don't know
what a hay boy is?
166
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,341
Oh, dude, you've got
a lot to learn.
167
00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:22,138
Just let us handle everything.
We'll pick you up tonight.
168
00:10:24,037 --> 00:10:25,107
Okay, yeah.
169
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:29,111
Night-night, Alfy.
170
00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:31,976
Don't let the bed bugs
give you night terrors.
171
00:10:49,856 --> 00:10:52,272
I mean, Myron Floren
is great and all,
172
00:10:52,410 --> 00:10:53,583
Lawrence Welk sure likes him,
173
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:56,552
but he's way too overexposed.
174
00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:00,176
For my money,
it's Whoopee John Wilfahrt
175
00:11:00,314 --> 00:11:03,007
that really gets me just
hoppin' and steppin'.
176
00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:06,010
I'm all about that
Minnesota sound, man.
177
00:11:06,148 --> 00:11:09,082
- Look what I found!
- Hey, hey!
178
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:11,429
Hey, you didn't tell me that
this was gonna be a polka party.
179
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:14,432
- What, do you not like polka?
- No, I like it, it's--
180
00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:17,607
My parents would kill me
if they knew I was here, okay?
181
00:11:17,746 --> 00:11:19,126
I'm so, so sorry, guys.
182
00:11:19,264 --> 00:11:20,783
I-I-I gotta go.
I can't--I can't be here, man.
183
00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:22,854
Come on, Al. Live a little!
184
00:11:22,992 --> 00:11:24,269
What's the worst
that could happen?
185
00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:25,857
You might actually
let your guard down
186
00:11:25,995 --> 00:11:27,721
and enjoy your life for once?
187
00:11:33,106 --> 00:11:36,316
Yeah, yeah, I can...
let my guard down.
188
00:11:41,148 --> 00:11:44,117
Hey... and sorry.
189
00:11:46,809 --> 00:11:50,468
Hey, everybody,
look what I found!
190
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,128
Dude, pass it here. Pass it.
191
00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:03,584
- Okay, dude. Okay.
192
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:04,965
Al, here. You gotta try this.
193
00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:06,898
Oh, no. No, no, thanks.
I'm good.
194
00:12:07,036 --> 00:12:08,382
Al's afraid his mommy and daddy
195
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,488
are gonna find out
he tried an accordion.
196
00:12:12,352 --> 00:12:14,803
I just don't wanna play, okay?
Just, just lay off me, man!
197
00:12:17,495 --> 00:12:19,635
No, guys--
198
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,741
- I'm not gonna--
199
00:12:26,573 --> 00:12:29,265
I'm not--I'm not--I'm not--
200
00:12:31,578 --> 00:12:35,064
Okay. Yeah, sure.
I'll play, yeah.
201
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:21,248
- It's the cops! Everyone, run!
202
00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:29,947
I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am,
203
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:34,537
but I'm afraid we found your son
at a polka party.
204
00:13:34,675 --> 00:13:36,539
He was playing an accordion.
205
00:13:36,677 --> 00:13:39,266
That's impossible. Alfy's in--
206
00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:43,650
A hay boy?! Really?
207
00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:46,446
What did I do to deserve this,
huh? Huh?
208
00:13:46,584 --> 00:13:48,758
It's like I don't even
know you anymore, Al.
209
00:13:48,897 --> 00:13:50,208
You want me to be like you.
210
00:13:50,346 --> 00:13:51,796
Look at me,
I'm nothing like you.
211
00:13:51,934 --> 00:13:53,315
You want me to work
that factory.
212
00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:55,835
Okay, I don't even know
what you make down there.
213
00:13:55,973 --> 00:13:57,319
You just call it the factory.
214
00:13:57,457 --> 00:13:59,148
You will find out what
we make at the factory
215
00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:00,805
when you work at the factory!
216
00:14:00,943 --> 00:14:04,464
Well, it's my life,
and I wanna make music
217
00:14:04,602 --> 00:14:06,224
and I wanna play the accordion.
218
00:14:06,362 --> 00:14:07,639
Ah, hogwash!
219
00:14:07,777 --> 00:14:12,023
And I'm good. I'm really,
really good!
220
00:14:12,161 --> 00:14:15,061
How did you get good at
playing the accordion, huh? Huh?
221
00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:17,201
It certainly wasn't
under my roof, was it?
222
00:14:17,339 --> 00:14:19,997
What'd you do, sneak out
and practice in the woods
223
00:14:20,135 --> 00:14:21,584
in the middle of the night?
224
00:14:21,722 --> 00:14:25,968
No. I played it here, quietly.
225
00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:29,420
Yeah, I play in the closet.
226
00:14:31,318 --> 00:14:34,425
But I'm not a closet
accordion player anymore.
227
00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:36,323
It feels good!
228
00:14:40,431 --> 00:14:42,226
The closet, you say?
229
00:14:45,505 --> 00:14:46,955
Hmm...
230
00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:49,233
No-no-no. Dad, Dad, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Dad.
231
00:14:49,371 --> 00:14:51,304
No-no-no. You're not going--
It's not in there.
232
00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:53,202
You're not gonna find
anything in there.
233
00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:55,032
Dad, what are you doing?
No, no, Dad--No-no-no-no--
234
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,688
Dad, no. Dad, please.
235
00:14:56,826 --> 00:14:57,793
- Uh-huh?
- Stop, stop.
236
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,588
- Boy.
- Stop. Stop it.
237
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:02,108
- Boy, this...
- Please, Dad. Please! No-no-no!
238
00:15:02,246 --> 00:15:03,695
This is for your own good, boy.
239
00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:05,628
No, I need this, I need this--
240
00:15:10,185 --> 00:15:11,911
No!
241
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:16,018
No, no, no, no, no!
242
00:15:16,156 --> 00:15:19,090
You--You think you're
gonna stop me from playing?
243
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:21,437
You'll see.
One day I'm gonna be the best--
244
00:15:21,575 --> 00:15:24,130
Well, perhaps not technically
the best,
245
00:15:24,268 --> 00:15:27,409
but arguably the most
famous accordion player
246
00:15:27,547 --> 00:15:30,757
in an extremely specific
genre of music.
247
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,310
I'll show you.
248
00:15:33,518 --> 00:15:35,175
I'll show everybody!
249
00:15:36,038 --> 00:15:37,384
Get out!
250
00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:41,975
- Good riddance!
251
00:15:48,878 --> 00:15:52,572
Things at home never
got any better after that.
252
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:55,230
But within a few years,
I graduated
253
00:15:55,368 --> 00:15:58,474
and I was able to move out
and live on my own.
254
00:15:58,612 --> 00:16:01,443
Well, with three other guys
in a dirt-cheap apartment,
255
00:16:01,581 --> 00:16:05,550
but the point is, I didn't
have to answer to anybody.
256
00:16:05,688 --> 00:16:07,380
- Hey, hey.
- Howdy.
257
00:16:07,518 --> 00:16:09,761
Now I'd have a chance
to find others
258
00:16:09,899 --> 00:16:12,488
who would truly understand me.
259
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:15,629
I could find my people.
260
00:16:20,531 --> 00:16:22,257
♪ Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat ♪
261
00:16:22,395 --> 00:16:24,431
♪ Beat on the brat
With a baseball bat ♪
262
00:16:24,569 --> 00:16:27,607
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪
263
00:16:29,919 --> 00:16:32,646
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪
264
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,131
- Okay.
- ♪ Hey! ♪
265
00:16:34,269 --> 00:16:36,892
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
266
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:40,171
- Okay, that's enough. Thanks.
- Mm.
267
00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:44,382
Yeah. Very... very interesting.
268
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,523
So... we'll let you know, okay?
269
00:16:47,661 --> 00:16:51,976
Great. Um, when?
270
00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:54,254
Right now. You didn't make it.
271
00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:02,331
This sucks.
272
00:17:02,469 --> 00:17:05,334
It's the fifth audition I've
been kicked out of this week.
273
00:17:05,472 --> 00:17:08,958
It's almost like nobody wants an
accordion player in their band.
274
00:17:09,097 --> 00:17:10,788
That just doesn't
make any sense.
275
00:17:10,926 --> 00:17:12,514
Yeah. Accordions are cool.
276
00:17:12,652 --> 00:17:14,826
That's the problem
with being on the bleeding edge.
277
00:17:14,964 --> 00:17:17,208
You gotta wait for the rest of
the world to catch up with you.
278
00:17:17,346 --> 00:17:19,348
I don't have time to wait.
279
00:17:19,486 --> 00:17:21,454
If nobody wants to have me
in their group,
280
00:17:21,592 --> 00:17:23,456
I'm just gonna have
to go it on my own.
281
00:17:23,594 --> 00:17:25,389
Don't worry,
it's gonna happen for you.
282
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:27,494
You just gotta hang in there.
We got your back.
283
00:17:27,632 --> 00:17:30,739
Thanks, Bermuda. All you guys.
You've just been so great.
284
00:17:30,877 --> 00:17:33,673
You really get me.
It is such a difference
285
00:17:33,811 --> 00:17:35,813
after living with my folks
for so long.
286
00:17:35,951 --> 00:17:38,126
Yeah. And you know, the best
part of moving away from home
287
00:17:38,264 --> 00:17:41,612
is you can do anything you want.
Hook up with girls...
288
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:42,923
Get high all the time.
289
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,925
Yeah, I mean, literally anything.
290
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,237
There are no rules.
291
00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:47,825
Just last night,
I was driving
292
00:17:47,963 --> 00:17:50,310
down the wrong side of the 101
with my eyes closed,
293
00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:53,072
not knowing whether I was
gonna live to see another day
294
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:56,799
or die in a horrible,
fiery wreck.
295
00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:58,215
Suck on that, Mom and Dad.
296
00:17:58,353 --> 00:18:00,182
- Yeah. You get it, Steve.
- You go, Steve.
297
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,632
Oh, wow, Steve.
298
00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:03,116
What about you, Al?
299
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:04,807
What's something you always
wanted to do,
300
00:18:04,945 --> 00:18:06,395
but you were never allowed to?
301
00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:16,371
Make up new words
to a song that already exists.
302
00:18:19,305 --> 00:18:21,755
Oh, well, you should
do that, then.
303
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,136
Absolutely.
304
00:18:23,274 --> 00:18:24,655
Yeah. Why don't you
do it right now?
305
00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,208
Go on.
Make up something brilliant.
306
00:18:26,346 --> 00:18:28,141
No, guys, it's not that easy.
307
00:18:28,279 --> 00:18:30,523
I gotta wait
for inspiration to strike,
308
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:33,767
and I'm pretty sure that well
dried up a long time ago.
309
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:36,080
Oh, well, if you're not
gonna write us a song,
310
00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:37,840
why don't you make us
some sandwiches?
311
00:18:37,978 --> 00:18:40,188
Oh, yeah, dude, I'm starving.
312
00:18:40,326 --> 00:18:43,467
Sandwich! Sandwich! Sandwich!
313
00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:46,021
Okay, okay, okay.
Guys, I'm on it.
314
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,436
Jim, you wanna put on
some tunes?
315
00:18:47,574 --> 00:18:48,610
Yeah.
316
00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:03,797
Oh, Steve? This bologna
has your name on it.
317
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,213
- Can we?
- Uh, yeah, sure.
318
00:19:05,351 --> 00:19:07,491
Just open up a package
of my bologna.
319
00:19:07,629 --> 00:19:10,839
♪ Ooh, you make my motor run
My motor run ♪
320
00:19:10,977 --> 00:19:13,945
♪ Gun it comin'
Off of the line, Sharona ♪
321
00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:17,501
♪ Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind ♪
322
00:19:17,639 --> 00:19:20,952
♪ I always get it up for
The touch of the younger kind ♪
323
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:27,131
♪ My, my, my-yi-yi, whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
324
00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:30,479
♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
325
00:19:30,617 --> 00:19:34,345
♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona, whoo! ♪
326
00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:38,038
Is this DJ asleep?
The record keeps skipping.
327
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,455
Hey! Wake up.
328
00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:44,252
♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona, whoo! ♪
329
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:46,875
- ♪ M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
- ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
330
00:19:47,013 --> 00:19:50,568
- ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
- ♪ Whoo! M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
331
00:19:53,157 --> 00:19:54,434
Al?
332
00:19:54,572 --> 00:19:57,196
♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
333
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:02,546
♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
334
00:20:04,617 --> 00:20:05,583
You okay?
335
00:20:14,627 --> 00:20:17,423
♪ Ooh, my little hungry one
Hungry one ♪
336
00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:21,703
♪ Open up a package
Of my bologna ♪
337
00:20:26,673 --> 00:20:28,261
♪ Ooh, I think the toast
Is done ♪
338
00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:29,814
♪ The toast is done ♪
339
00:20:29,952 --> 00:20:33,542
♪ Top it with a little
Of my bologna ♪
340
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:38,823
Where did that come from?
341
00:20:38,961 --> 00:20:40,239
Dude, I've got chills.
342
00:20:40,377 --> 00:20:41,930
I don't know, it just
came out of me.
343
00:20:42,068 --> 00:20:44,898
I've never heard anything
like that before in my life.
344
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,141
You have to record that.
345
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,867
Record it? No, come on, guys.
346
00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:49,731
Al, you've got something here.
347
00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:53,528
I don't know if it comes
from God or the devil,
348
00:20:53,666 --> 00:20:55,633
but the world needs to hear it.
349
00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:58,187
No, forget it, guys.
350
00:20:58,326 --> 00:20:59,637
I don't have the money
for a recording studio.
351
00:20:59,775 --> 00:21:02,088
I think the bathroom
at the bus station
352
00:21:02,226 --> 00:21:04,090
has pretty good acoustics.
353
00:21:07,024 --> 00:21:10,269
Yeah, sounds good in here.
354
00:21:10,407 --> 00:21:12,823
You can put it right there,
that works.
355
00:21:14,687 --> 00:21:17,517
♪ Ooh, my little hungry one
Hungry one ♪
356
00:21:17,655 --> 00:21:20,002
♪ Open up a package
Of my bologna ♪
357
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:21,625
♪ Ooh, I think the toast
Is done ♪
358
00:21:21,763 --> 00:21:23,489
♪ The toast is done ♪
359
00:21:23,627 --> 00:21:25,939
♪ Top it with a little
Of my bologna ♪
360
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,769
♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪
361
00:21:27,907 --> 00:21:29,702
♪ Such a tasty snack
I always eat too much ♪
362
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,186
♪ And throw up
But I'll soon be back ♪
363
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:34,707
♪ For my my my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪
364
00:21:34,845 --> 00:21:40,299
♪ M-M-M-My bologna
M-m-m-my bologna, hey! ♪
365
00:22:01,078 --> 00:22:02,838
All right.
366
00:22:02,976 --> 00:22:06,152
Just mailed the tape
off to Captain Buffoon.
367
00:22:06,290 --> 00:22:07,567
Now, I guess, all I gotta do is
368
00:22:07,705 --> 00:22:10,639
sit back and wait
to become famous.
369
00:22:10,777 --> 00:22:13,780
Yeah, I don't think
that's quite how it works, Al.
370
00:22:13,918 --> 00:22:17,025
Nobody becomes famous overnight.
That's a myth.
371
00:22:17,163 --> 00:22:19,165
Sometimes it takes years,
372
00:22:19,303 --> 00:22:21,167
decades of hard work
to get noticed.
373
00:22:21,305 --> 00:22:23,342
- What?
- Look, I believe in you.
374
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,274
I know it's gonna
happen for you someday,
375
00:22:25,413 --> 00:22:27,829
but you can't just mail your
tape off to some disc jockey
376
00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:30,072
and expect to instantly
become a sensation.
377
00:22:30,210 --> 00:22:32,420
Man, why can't I catch a break?
378
00:22:34,974 --> 00:22:37,390
Captain
Buffoon on your radio dial.
379
00:22:37,528 --> 00:22:39,358
No, I'm not making this up--
380
00:22:39,496 --> 00:22:41,774
I just received this tape
in the mail a few minutes ago,
381
00:22:41,912 --> 00:22:45,156
and what can I say?
It's an instant sensation!
382
00:22:45,294 --> 00:22:46,572
It's already the number one
383
00:22:46,710 --> 00:22:48,367
most-requested song
of the week,
384
00:22:48,505 --> 00:22:50,230
and we're playing
it all day long.
385
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:54,718
So, here it is, once again,
Al Yankovic with My Bologna!
386
00:22:59,826 --> 00:23:04,210
- Again!
387
00:23:04,348 --> 00:23:07,109
♪ Ooh, my little hungry one
Hungry one ♪
388
00:23:07,247 --> 00:23:08,663
♪ Open up a package... ♪
389
00:23:08,801 --> 00:23:10,354
You know what this means, right?
390
00:23:10,492 --> 00:23:12,839
You gotta get yourself
a record deal.
391
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,568
♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪
392
00:23:17,706 --> 00:23:19,501
♪ Such a tasty snack
I always eat too much ♪
393
00:23:19,639 --> 00:23:21,158
♪ And throw up
But I'll soon be back ♪
394
00:23:21,296 --> 00:23:24,437
♪ For my, my, my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪
395
00:23:24,575 --> 00:23:27,198
♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
396
00:23:27,336 --> 00:23:29,477
♪ M-M-M-My bologna, hey! ♪
397
00:23:45,147 --> 00:23:46,942
I've heard enough.
398
00:23:50,152 --> 00:23:52,500
And what did you think?
399
00:23:52,638 --> 00:23:55,917
Do you know why they call it
the "music business"?
400
00:23:56,055 --> 00:23:57,988
Uh, why?
401
00:23:58,126 --> 00:23:59,161
Because it's a business.
402
00:23:59,299 --> 00:24:00,508
It's a business!
403
00:24:00,646 --> 00:24:02,026
Use your head, kid.
404
00:24:02,164 --> 00:24:04,546
Nobody wants to hear
a parody song
405
00:24:04,684 --> 00:24:07,515
when they can hear the real
thing for the same price.
406
00:24:07,653 --> 00:24:09,137
What's the point?
407
00:24:09,275 --> 00:24:11,311
Yeah, it makes
no financial sense whatsoever.
408
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,452
Uh, my-my-my song was actually
409
00:24:13,590 --> 00:24:15,281
a-a big hit on
The Captain Buffoon Show.
410
00:24:15,419 --> 00:24:17,283
- Oh!
- What?
411
00:24:17,421 --> 00:24:18,595
Captain Buffoon? Really?
412
00:24:18,733 --> 00:24:20,182
- Yeah.
- Wait, wait.
413
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,288
Captain Buffoon actually
played your song on the radio?
414
00:24:22,426 --> 00:24:23,772
Yeah.
415
00:24:23,910 --> 00:24:25,464
Why didn't you tell us?
This changes everything.
416
00:24:25,602 --> 00:24:27,120
Ben, get this young gentleman
a record contract
417
00:24:27,258 --> 00:24:28,674
this very instant.
418
00:24:28,812 --> 00:24:31,228
We are gonna sign him
to a 14-album deal.
419
00:24:31,366 --> 00:24:32,540
Wait, really?
420
00:24:32,678 --> 00:24:35,059
No! What do you think I am,
an idiot?
421
00:24:35,197 --> 00:24:37,476
- He's not an idiot!
- I'm not an idiot!
422
00:24:37,614 --> 00:24:40,030
- If I may interject here.
- Please.
423
00:24:40,168 --> 00:24:41,928
Look, I'd just like to say
424
00:24:42,066 --> 00:24:44,103
that you got some nerve
coming in here
425
00:24:44,241 --> 00:24:48,832
and wasting my time
and my brother Tony's time.
426
00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:53,526
I'm gonna remember your name
because you, Al Yankovic,
427
00:24:53,664 --> 00:24:56,978
are the most untalented,
pathetic loser
428
00:24:57,116 --> 00:25:00,119
that I've ever met
in my entire life.
429
00:25:00,257 --> 00:25:01,845
Okay, um, maybe--
430
00:25:01,983 --> 00:25:07,229
You're nothing but a hack,
a stupid, useless parasite,
431
00:25:07,367 --> 00:25:10,301
- and you're so ugly.
- Okay...
432
00:25:10,439 --> 00:25:14,616
That ridiculous hair,
that horrible mustache,
433
00:25:14,754 --> 00:25:16,549
stupid glasses.
434
00:25:16,687 --> 00:25:18,033
You make me wanna throw up!
435
00:25:18,171 --> 00:25:19,725
All right, thank you.
Thank you, Ben.
436
00:25:19,863 --> 00:25:21,520
Thank you, Ben, for your,
for your thoughts.
437
00:25:21,658 --> 00:25:23,211
- Thank you.
- Jeez.
438
00:25:23,349 --> 00:25:25,006
- Ugh.
- Look, kid,
439
00:25:25,144 --> 00:25:29,217
if you really have your heart
set on doing this stupid music,
440
00:25:29,355 --> 00:25:31,184
maybe write more than one song.
441
00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:33,497
Yeah, all the biggest
musical acts have more than
442
00:25:33,635 --> 00:25:35,361
one song in their catalog.
443
00:25:35,499 --> 00:25:36,811
That's very true.
444
00:25:36,949 --> 00:25:38,709
And also, get out
in front of a live audience.
445
00:25:38,847 --> 00:25:40,435
Any audience, any stage,
446
00:25:40,573 --> 00:25:43,611
just get out there, build up
your chops, and who knows?
447
00:25:43,749 --> 00:25:47,166
Maybe someday...
we'll talk again.
448
00:25:47,304 --> 00:25:50,341
But don't count on it
because you truly suck.
449
00:25:50,479 --> 00:25:51,446
Right.
450
00:25:51,584 --> 00:25:52,896
Okay.
451
00:25:53,034 --> 00:25:54,104
♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
452
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:04,873
♪ Bowling with the devil! ♪
453
00:26:06,426 --> 00:26:09,360
Thank you! We are Skunk Barf!
454
00:26:09,498 --> 00:26:13,744
- You guys suck!
455
00:26:20,613 --> 00:26:23,720
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
456
00:26:23,858 --> 00:26:25,791
Just relax, you'll be great.
457
00:26:25,929 --> 00:26:27,620
Yeah, the new song's
a bona fide hit.
458
00:26:27,758 --> 00:26:29,484
It's about ice cream!
459
00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:31,279
Everybody likes ice cream.
460
00:26:31,417 --> 00:26:34,627
This seems like more of
a whiskey and... heroin crowd.
461
00:26:34,765 --> 00:26:36,629
Look, guys, I appreciate you
462
00:26:36,767 --> 00:26:38,527
being here for moral support
and everything,
463
00:26:38,666 --> 00:26:39,839
but they are
literally gonna kill me.
464
00:26:39,977 --> 00:26:41,323
We need to leave right now.
465
00:26:41,461 --> 00:26:42,877
Don't be silly, man.
They're gonna love you.
466
00:26:43,015 --> 00:26:44,672
All right, we got, uh,
most of the blood
467
00:26:44,810 --> 00:26:48,986
cleaned off the stage,
so you're on, now.
468
00:26:49,124 --> 00:26:52,956
- Go start the car.
- Nah, you got this, Al.
469
00:26:53,094 --> 00:26:55,614
This is your moment.
Go get 'em, champ.
470
00:26:55,752 --> 00:26:58,547
- Go get 'em.
471
00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:09,766
All right, all right,
who's ready for some more music?
472
00:27:11,802 --> 00:27:13,977
Okay, uh, coming next
to the stage,
473
00:27:14,115 --> 00:27:17,636
it's this guy's first time,
Al Yankovic.
474
00:27:22,123 --> 00:27:24,159
- Hey.
475
00:27:24,297 --> 00:27:25,540
Sorry.
476
00:27:27,093 --> 00:27:29,026
Sorry.
477
00:27:29,164 --> 00:27:32,064
Ah, nice Hawaiian shirt,
Trapper John!
478
00:27:34,583 --> 00:27:36,240
Um...
479
00:27:41,383 --> 00:27:42,799
Boo!
480
00:27:57,779 --> 00:28:01,645
♪ I hear those ice cream bells
And I start to drool... ♪
481
00:28:01,783 --> 00:28:03,578
This guy needs some help.
482
00:28:03,716 --> 00:28:06,892
♪ Keep a couple quarts
In my locker at school ♪
483
00:28:07,030 --> 00:28:10,102
♪ Yeah, but chocolate's
Gettin' old ♪
484
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,346
♪ Vanilla just leaves me cold ♪
485
00:28:15,970 --> 00:28:20,526
♪ There's just one flavor good
Enough for me, yeah me ♪
486
00:28:20,664 --> 00:28:24,979
♪ Don't gimme no crummy taste
Spoon, I know what I need ♪
487
00:28:25,117 --> 00:28:28,258
♪ Baby, I love rocky road ♪
488
00:28:28,396 --> 00:28:30,536
♪ So won't you go and buy
Half a gallon, baby ♪
489
00:28:30,674 --> 00:28:32,296
♪ I love rocky road ♪
490
00:28:32,434 --> 00:28:36,197
♪ So have another
Triple scoop with me ♪
491
00:28:36,335 --> 00:28:37,646
♪ Ow! ♪
492
00:28:39,269 --> 00:28:41,961
Gimme a shot of tequila
and two scoops of rum raisin.
493
00:28:42,099 --> 00:28:43,894
We don't sell ice cream here.
494
00:28:44,032 --> 00:28:45,965
You better start selling it
before this song's over
495
00:28:46,103 --> 00:28:48,623
or you're gonna have a riot
on your hands.
496
00:28:48,761 --> 00:28:53,662
♪ When I'm all alone
I just grab myself a cone ♪
497
00:28:53,801 --> 00:28:58,529
♪ And if I get fat and lose
My teeth, that's fine with me ♪
498
00:28:58,667 --> 00:29:03,051
♪ Just lock me in the freezer
And throw away the key ♪
499
00:29:03,189 --> 00:29:05,778
♪ Singing
I love rocky road ♪
500
00:29:05,916 --> 00:29:08,677
♪ So won't you go and buy
Half a gallon, baby ♪
501
00:29:08,816 --> 00:29:10,231
♪ I love rocky road ♪
502
00:29:10,369 --> 00:29:12,958
♪ So have another triple
Scoop with me ♪
503
00:29:13,096 --> 00:29:15,098
♪ I love rocky road ♪
504
00:29:15,236 --> 00:29:17,721
♪ So won't you go
And buy half a gallon, baby ♪
505
00:29:17,859 --> 00:29:20,206
♪ I love rocky road ♪
506
00:29:20,344 --> 00:29:22,105
♪ So have another triple
Scoop with ♪
507
00:29:22,243 --> 00:29:24,210
♪ I love rocky road ♪
508
00:29:24,348 --> 00:29:26,799
♪ So won't you go and buy
Half a gallon, baby ♪
509
00:29:26,937 --> 00:29:29,043
♪ I love rocky road ♪
510
00:29:29,181 --> 00:29:31,700
♪ So have another triple scoop
With me ♪
511
00:29:42,711 --> 00:29:45,818
Why didn't you guys tell me
you could play? You're great.
512
00:29:45,956 --> 00:29:47,820
I guess it didn't seem
relevant 'til now.
513
00:29:47,958 --> 00:29:51,755
- Thank you!
514
00:29:56,656 --> 00:29:58,106
Oh, hey.
515
00:29:59,073 --> 00:30:02,662
Oh! You're Dr. Demento.
516
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:06,287
Oh, wow. I am such a huge fan.
I can't believe this.
517
00:30:06,425 --> 00:30:08,737
I've been listening to your show
my entire life.
518
00:30:08,876 --> 00:30:11,671
Whoo-whoo-whoo,
wind up your radio--
519
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:12,983
- Don't do that.
- Sorry.
520
00:30:13,121 --> 00:30:15,020
Um, did you see the show?
521
00:30:15,158 --> 00:30:18,609
I did. And let me
tell you something, kid.
522
00:30:18,747 --> 00:30:21,095
Every once in a great while,
I can spot a talent
523
00:30:21,233 --> 00:30:24,167
that I know is headed
straight to the top.
524
00:30:24,305 --> 00:30:25,754
Nervous Norvus,
525
00:30:25,893 --> 00:30:28,412
Wild Man Fischer,
526
00:30:28,550 --> 00:30:31,312
and now... you.
527
00:30:31,450 --> 00:30:35,040
What I saw you do on that stage
tonight blew my mind!
528
00:30:35,178 --> 00:30:37,559
I'm telling you,
you've cracked the code.
529
00:30:37,697 --> 00:30:38,906
You're onto something special.
530
00:30:39,044 --> 00:30:40,355
Wow, I mean, you, you,
you have no idea
531
00:30:40,493 --> 00:30:42,116
what it means
for me to hear you say that.
532
00:30:42,254 --> 00:30:44,670
- Thank you so much.
- Oh...
533
00:30:44,808 --> 00:30:46,948
Um, I only wish
the Scotti Brothers
534
00:30:47,086 --> 00:30:48,570
felt the same way.
535
00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:50,572
Ah, those suits. They
couldn't recognize real talent
536
00:30:50,710 --> 00:30:54,818
if it slapped them in the face
with a dead fish.
537
00:30:54,956 --> 00:30:57,717
But I might be able to
get them to notice you.
538
00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:59,029
How?
539
00:30:59,167 --> 00:31:01,929
Well, stick with me, huh?
540
00:31:02,067 --> 00:31:04,448
I know a little something
about the biz.
541
00:31:04,586 --> 00:31:08,280
Uh, wait, are-are you saying
you want to be my mentor?
542
00:31:08,418 --> 00:31:13,699
No, I'm saying I want to
be your... de-mentor!
543
00:31:22,052 --> 00:31:25,124
But first, we gotta find you
a stage name.
544
00:31:25,262 --> 00:31:28,852
I mean, Al Yankovic. Ugh, blech.
545
00:31:28,990 --> 00:31:30,889
Doesn't exactly trip off
the tongue now, does it?
546
00:31:31,027 --> 00:31:32,062
I guess not.
547
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,443
It's so clunky. It's long.
548
00:31:33,581 --> 00:31:34,823
It's ungainly.
It's hard to pronounce.
549
00:31:34,962 --> 00:31:36,204
Sorry.
550
00:31:36,342 --> 00:31:38,379
Now, I'm just gonna throw
this out there.
551
00:31:38,517 --> 00:31:41,347
Would you be willing
to change your name to...
552
00:31:43,004 --> 00:31:47,836
Weird... Al Yankovic?
553
00:31:49,252 --> 00:31:50,322
I love it.
554
00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:53,463
Great. Great!
555
00:31:53,601 --> 00:31:55,879
Hey, I'm having a little pool
party at the house this weekend.
556
00:31:56,017 --> 00:31:57,846
I'd love to introduce
you to some folks.
557
00:31:57,985 --> 00:31:59,434
What do you say you come on by,
558
00:31:59,572 --> 00:32:01,609
we'll continue this conversation
at the grotto.
559
00:32:01,747 --> 00:32:03,024
Yes, of course!
560
00:32:03,162 --> 00:32:07,822
Mm-hmm. And don't forget
to stay demented!
561
00:32:09,755 --> 00:32:10,998
You got it.
562
00:32:23,734 --> 00:32:25,840
H-H-Hey!
563
00:32:25,978 --> 00:32:28,636
There he is,
my newest superstar.
564
00:32:28,774 --> 00:32:30,879
Ah, so glad you could make it.
565
00:32:31,018 --> 00:32:32,640
I've been telling everyone
about you,
566
00:32:32,778 --> 00:32:35,712
and, uh, looks like you've
brought your band.
567
00:32:35,850 --> 00:32:37,438
Okay, fine.
568
00:32:37,576 --> 00:32:39,405
Uh, there's some canapés right
over there, gentlemen.
569
00:32:39,543 --> 00:32:41,718
Help yourselves. So,
let me show you around, okay?
570
00:32:41,856 --> 00:32:44,963
Everyone's dying to meet you.
Oh, right this way.
571
00:32:45,101 --> 00:32:47,034
- Uh, Mr. Herman.
- Hello.
572
00:32:47,172 --> 00:32:48,932
I'd like you to meet
"Weird Al" Yankovic.
573
00:32:49,070 --> 00:32:51,452
Ah, a rising star.
574
00:32:51,590 --> 00:32:52,936
Pleased to meet you.
575
00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,357
And this is, of course,
Tiny Tim.
576
00:33:00,495 --> 00:33:06,156
Oh, Mr. Yankovic. Oh, why,
you're just the cat's pajamas.
577
00:33:06,294 --> 00:33:08,296
Is that a good thing?
578
00:33:08,434 --> 00:33:09,504
Sure.
579
00:33:09,642 --> 00:33:11,679
Ah, excuse us, gentlemen.
580
00:33:11,817 --> 00:33:13,336
Nice to meet you.
581
00:33:13,474 --> 00:33:16,166
So that's Demento's new protégé.
582
00:33:16,304 --> 00:33:17,581
You know, I hear
they don't even hand out
583
00:33:17,719 --> 00:33:19,894
raincoats and tarps
at his shows.
584
00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:21,620
Amateur hour.
585
00:33:23,484 --> 00:33:25,003
Amateur hour.
586
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,247
Well, hello, Dali.
587
00:33:28,385 --> 00:33:29,628
Andy.
588
00:33:29,766 --> 00:33:33,839
What do you think of
this "Weird Al" Yankovic?
589
00:33:33,977 --> 00:33:39,189
Dali predicts he will change
everything we know about art!
590
00:33:39,327 --> 00:33:42,744
Weird Al will change the world!
591
00:33:42,882 --> 00:33:45,678
Eh, I give him 15 minutes.
592
00:33:45,816 --> 00:33:50,131
Well, well, well, if it
isn't Dr. Demento.
593
00:33:50,269 --> 00:33:53,341
Wolfman Jack.
Who let you in here?
594
00:33:53,479 --> 00:33:57,000
The Wolfman goes where
the Wolfman wants, baby.
595
00:34:01,142 --> 00:34:02,695
Security!
596
00:34:02,833 --> 00:34:06,837
Relax. I just came by
to lay eyes on this cat
597
00:34:06,975 --> 00:34:09,288
you've been paradin' around.
598
00:34:09,426 --> 00:34:11,877
The one who takes
preexisting musical compositions
599
00:34:12,015 --> 00:34:15,294
and completely changes
the lyrics.
600
00:34:15,432 --> 00:34:19,333
He has a name, you know.
And it's "Weird Al" Yankovic.
601
00:34:19,471 --> 00:34:22,853
Well then, put 'er
there, Weird Al.
602
00:34:22,991 --> 00:34:25,132
Oooh! Too slow.
603
00:34:25,270 --> 00:34:26,788
What is the meaning of this?
604
00:34:26,926 --> 00:34:29,239
This is me telling you
that I know hit talent
605
00:34:29,377 --> 00:34:31,345
when I see it,
and this kid ain't it.
606
00:34:31,483 --> 00:34:34,831
He'll never crack the top 40,
he's too niche.
607
00:34:34,969 --> 00:34:39,836
This kid, as you call him,
is the future of music.
608
00:34:39,974 --> 00:34:44,565
Right. Well, if he's so great,
how about he comes up
609
00:34:44,703 --> 00:34:48,155
with a new parody song
right now on the spot?
610
00:34:48,293 --> 00:34:50,260
- Ooh...
- Whoa.
611
00:34:50,398 --> 00:34:51,779
I mean, come on, man.
It's a party.
612
00:34:51,917 --> 00:34:53,367
I don't know that's a good idea.
613
00:34:53,505 --> 00:34:55,438
Do Another One Bites the Dust.
614
00:34:55,576 --> 00:34:59,131
That seems fitting,
who said that?
615
00:34:59,269 --> 00:35:03,273
I did. I'm John Deacon...
616
00:35:06,587 --> 00:35:08,106
of Queen.
617
00:35:11,074 --> 00:35:12,662
I play the bass in Queen.
618
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,284
Oh...
619
00:35:14,422 --> 00:35:16,700
All right, future boy.
620
00:35:16,838 --> 00:35:21,049
Let's hear what you can do with
Another One Bites the Dust.
621
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:31,750
We're waiting.
622
00:35:33,614 --> 00:35:36,168
You don't have to
prove anything to him.
623
00:35:36,306 --> 00:35:38,964
Come on, guy from Queen.
624
00:35:39,102 --> 00:35:44,142
Let's go find a party
with some real talent.
625
00:35:48,836 --> 00:35:51,459
Get me my accordion.
626
00:35:51,597 --> 00:35:53,427
Hey, you like deviled eggs?
627
00:35:53,565 --> 00:35:56,292
I love a good deviled egg.
They don't love me, though.
628
00:36:09,995 --> 00:36:11,721
♪ Ridin' in the bus
Down the boulevard ♪
629
00:36:11,859 --> 00:36:13,757
♪ And the place was
Pretty packed, yeah! ♪
630
00:36:13,895 --> 00:36:15,518
♪ I couldn't find a seat
So I had to stand ♪
631
00:36:15,656 --> 00:36:17,313
♪ With the perverts
In the back ♪
632
00:36:17,451 --> 00:36:18,969
♪ It was smellin'
Like a locker room ♪
633
00:36:19,107 --> 00:36:20,799
♪ There was junk
All over the floor ♪
634
00:36:20,937 --> 00:36:22,801
♪ We're already packed in
Like sardines ♪
635
00:36:22,939 --> 00:36:26,080
♪ But we're stoppin'
To pick up more, look out! ♪
636
00:36:26,218 --> 00:36:29,325
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
637
00:36:29,463 --> 00:36:31,568
- ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
-
638
00:36:31,706 --> 00:36:33,536
♪ And another comes on
And another comes on ♪
639
00:36:33,674 --> 00:36:35,262
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
640
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,229
♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you ♪
641
00:36:37,367 --> 00:36:40,128
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
642
00:36:46,273 --> 00:36:47,722
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
643
00:36:47,860 --> 00:36:49,862
♪ Another one rides the bus
Ow! ♪
644
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,761
♪ Another one rides the bus
Hey, hey ♪
645
00:36:51,899 --> 00:36:56,317
♪ Another one rides the bus
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪
646
00:37:00,390 --> 00:37:02,427
♪ The window doesn't open
And the fan is broke ♪
647
00:37:02,565 --> 00:37:04,567
♪ And my face
Is turnin' blue, yeah ♪
648
00:37:04,705 --> 00:37:06,431
♪ I haven't been
In a crowd like this ♪
649
00:37:06,569 --> 00:37:08,226
♪ Since I went to see The Who ♪
650
00:37:08,364 --> 00:37:09,951
♪ Well, I should've got off
A couple miles ago ♪
651
00:37:10,089 --> 00:37:11,815
♪ But I couldn't get
To the door ♪
652
00:37:11,953 --> 00:37:13,541
♪ There isn't any room
For me to breathe ♪
653
00:37:13,679 --> 00:37:16,751
♪ Now we're gonna pick up more
Yeah! ♪
654
00:37:16,889 --> 00:37:20,203
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
655
00:37:20,341 --> 00:37:22,550
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
656
00:37:22,688 --> 00:37:24,449
♪ And another comes on
And another comes on ♪
657
00:37:24,587 --> 00:37:26,416
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
658
00:37:26,554 --> 00:37:30,213
♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you
Another one rides the bus! ♪
659
00:37:47,955 --> 00:37:49,439
I don't know what to say.
660
00:37:50,785 --> 00:37:52,477
That was the--
661
00:37:52,615 --> 00:37:53,857
That was the most
beautiful thing
662
00:37:53,995 --> 00:37:55,756
I've ever heard
in my entire life.
663
00:37:57,344 --> 00:38:00,795
You truly have
a rare gift, Weird Al.
664
00:38:08,838 --> 00:38:13,049
Hey mate, we're playing
a little gig next week
665
00:38:13,187 --> 00:38:17,950
called Live Aid,
Wembley Stadium.
666
00:38:18,088 --> 00:38:20,436
I'd be honored if you
would join the band
667
00:38:20,574 --> 00:38:23,818
and play that song
on stage with us.
668
00:38:25,855 --> 00:38:27,408
What do you say?
669
00:38:33,932 --> 00:38:35,313
Hard pass!
670
00:38:43,079 --> 00:38:46,289
- This guy?
- Get him, get him out of here!
671
00:38:50,535 --> 00:38:53,020
I felt like
I was on top of the world,
672
00:38:53,158 --> 00:38:56,782
but this was
just the beginning.
673
00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:00,407
"Weird Al" Yankovic is
one of the most exciting
674
00:39:00,545 --> 00:39:02,754
new artists in pop music today.
675
00:39:02,892 --> 00:39:05,481
His self-titled debut album
676
00:39:05,619 --> 00:39:09,381
was just certified
quintuple platinum.
677
00:39:11,038 --> 00:39:13,074
Simply by taking well-known
pop songs
678
00:39:13,212 --> 00:39:14,593
and changing the lyrics,
679
00:39:14,731 --> 00:39:16,940
Yankovic has taken
the world by storm.
680
00:39:17,078 --> 00:39:20,288
I have never seen a collection
of Hawaiian shirts like this.
681
00:39:20,427 --> 00:39:22,118
Oh, well, thank you, Oprah!
682
00:39:22,256 --> 00:39:24,292
He has the number one
album in 20 countries
683
00:39:24,431 --> 00:39:26,364
and counts among his fans
such luminaries as...
684
00:39:26,502 --> 00:39:28,262
Hey, turn this up.
685
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,920
...President Ronald
Reagan and Pope John Paul II.
686
00:39:31,058 --> 00:39:33,957
Even international drug lord
Pablo Escobar
687
00:39:34,095 --> 00:39:36,926
calls Weird Al
his favorite musician.
688
00:39:37,064 --> 00:39:38,652
♪ Oh, Ricky, you're so fine ♪
689
00:39:38,790 --> 00:39:40,550
♪ You're so fine
You blow my mind ♪
690
00:39:40,688 --> 00:39:43,035
- ♪ Hey Ricky! Hey Ricky! ♪
691
00:39:43,173 --> 00:39:45,072
And what about this,
this necklace you're wearing?
692
00:39:45,210 --> 00:39:46,694
Oh, these, yeah.
693
00:39:46,832 --> 00:39:48,489
I, uh, I wear one
solid platinum record medallion
694
00:39:48,627 --> 00:39:50,284
for each time my album
went platinum.
695
00:39:50,422 --> 00:39:52,597
So that's one, two,
three, four, five.
696
00:39:52,735 --> 00:39:54,426
Wow. Those look heavy.
697
00:39:54,564 --> 00:39:56,566
They are super uncomfortable.
698
00:39:56,704 --> 00:39:59,155
And it's not
just the record company
699
00:39:59,293 --> 00:40:01,916
that's cashing in
on Weird Al fever.
700
00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:05,610
The artists he's parodying
are experiencing a phenomenon
701
00:40:05,748 --> 00:40:08,475
that's being called
the Yankovic Bump.
702
00:40:08,613 --> 00:40:11,685
The Knack, Joan Jett
and even Queen
703
00:40:11,823 --> 00:40:14,619
have seen their
album sales double
704
00:40:14,757 --> 00:40:17,967
after Weird Al put
his unique spin on their songs.
705
00:40:18,105 --> 00:40:22,281
Which begs the question,
who will be next?
706
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:25,284
Who indeed?
707
00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:29,841
Al, you really do seem to have
the Midas touch.
708
00:40:29,979 --> 00:40:32,533
I've never seen anything like it
in all my years.
709
00:40:32,671 --> 00:40:35,191
Your parents must be proud.
710
00:40:35,329 --> 00:40:38,332
Yeah. Yeah, my parents...
711
00:40:47,479 --> 00:40:48,963
Is everything okay?
712
00:40:49,101 --> 00:40:51,138
Huh? Yeah. Yes, of course.
713
00:40:51,276 --> 00:40:53,865
Yeah, whose--whose parents
wouldn't be proud?
714
00:40:54,003 --> 00:40:55,487
Exactly.
715
00:40:56,799 --> 00:41:00,009
- Al? Al?
716
00:41:04,910 --> 00:41:05,980
Hello?
717
00:41:06,118 --> 00:41:09,605
- Hey, Mom. It's me.
- Alfy?
718
00:41:09,743 --> 00:41:11,952
It's been
a long time, hasn't it?
719
00:41:13,816 --> 00:41:15,334
We saw you on the TV.
720
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:17,751
It's crazy, right?
721
00:41:17,889 --> 00:41:19,891
Yeah, who would've thought?
722
00:41:20,029 --> 00:41:22,480
I'm actually gearing up
for a residency right now
723
00:41:22,618 --> 00:41:24,516
at Madison Square Garden.
724
00:41:24,654 --> 00:41:27,346
Sold out 25 nights in a row.
725
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,003
They're, uh, they're
moving the Knicks
726
00:41:29,141 --> 00:41:31,040
to a hockey rink in Jersey
for a month.
727
00:41:31,178 --> 00:41:32,697
- Huh.
- Yep.
728
00:41:32,835 --> 00:41:34,561
Yep. I'm living the dream.
729
00:41:34,699 --> 00:41:37,046
I mean, to have 20,000 people
every night
730
00:41:37,184 --> 00:41:39,220
singing along to my words
731
00:41:39,358 --> 00:41:41,119
to other people's music.
732
00:41:41,257 --> 00:41:44,122
I feel truly alive
when I'm on that stage.
733
00:41:44,260 --> 00:41:45,917
Oh, that's nice.
734
00:41:47,021 --> 00:41:48,678
Are you eating enough bran?
735
00:41:49,955 --> 00:41:51,992
- What?
- Well, it's important.
736
00:41:52,130 --> 00:41:54,581
It keeps you regular
and you know how you get
737
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,031
when you're not having
your regular BMs, Alfy.
738
00:41:57,169 --> 00:42:00,103
I--Yeah, sure.
739
00:42:00,241 --> 00:42:03,866
Good. That's good.
740
00:42:05,177 --> 00:42:09,837
So, um, so how's Dad?
741
00:42:09,975 --> 00:42:13,392
Gosh, your father's
a complicated man.
742
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:15,533
Does he ever talk about me?
743
00:42:15,671 --> 00:42:18,777
Oh, sure, all the time. Yes.
744
00:42:18,915 --> 00:42:21,193
There's so many things
that he wants to tell you,
745
00:42:21,331 --> 00:42:22,540
but it's just difficult for him.
746
00:42:22,678 --> 00:42:24,611
Well, like what?
747
00:42:24,749 --> 00:42:26,992
You know, what does
he want to tell me?
748
00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:31,652
Well, mostly he just
wants to let you know that
749
00:42:31,790 --> 00:42:34,068
he's definitely not
proud of you.
750
00:42:35,311 --> 00:42:36,657
What?
751
00:42:36,795 --> 00:42:38,694
Yes. He told me to be
crystal clear about that.
752
00:42:38,832 --> 00:42:41,248
Also, he still thinks
that parody songs are stupid,
753
00:42:41,386 --> 00:42:42,698
and I don't have to tell you
754
00:42:42,836 --> 00:42:44,147
how he feels about the
accordion, do I?
755
00:42:44,285 --> 00:42:45,942
Okay. Well, Mom,
I actually have to go now.
756
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:47,806
You know, he just never
really wanted to have kids.
757
00:42:47,944 --> 00:42:49,877
Okay. Well, great
talking to you.
758
00:42:50,015 --> 00:42:52,190
Listen, if you do wanna get
that job down at the factory,
759
00:42:52,328 --> 00:42:54,433
I'm sure your father can
pull a few strings for you.
760
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,814
All right. Take care
now, bye-bye.
761
00:42:55,952 --> 00:42:57,851
- Love you, Alfy!
- Yep!
762
00:43:08,862 --> 00:43:12,762
Oh, tough call with
the folks, huh?
763
00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:14,281
You know, I can fire up
764
00:43:14,419 --> 00:43:15,627
the downstairs hot tub
for you if you'd like.
765
00:43:15,765 --> 00:43:17,111
Oh, no, no, this is fine.
766
00:43:17,249 --> 00:43:18,423
I don't want to put you
through any trouble.
767
00:43:18,561 --> 00:43:19,942
I--It's really no trouble.
768
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,668
I mean, there are actually
three other Jacuzzis
769
00:43:21,806 --> 00:43:23,359
in the house that are
not here in my bedroom.
770
00:43:23,497 --> 00:43:26,880
Oh, that's so sweet of you,
but really, I'm good.
771
00:43:27,018 --> 00:43:30,366
You, on the other hand,
you don't seem so good.
772
00:43:30,504 --> 00:43:32,679
Do you wanna talk about it?
773
00:43:36,337 --> 00:43:39,444
It's just, my whole life,
774
00:43:39,582 --> 00:43:45,105
all I've wanted is for my father
to accept me for who I am.
775
00:43:45,243 --> 00:43:48,522
And I thought if I became
this huge success,
776
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:50,835
that that would change
things, but...
777
00:43:50,973 --> 00:43:52,146
Mm.
778
00:43:53,700 --> 00:43:56,979
But he still hates everything
about me.
779
00:44:00,016 --> 00:44:02,812
You know, maybe he's right.
Maybe parody songs are stupid.
780
00:44:02,950 --> 00:44:06,264
Look, you don't have to
write parody songs
781
00:44:06,402 --> 00:44:08,024
if you don't want to.
782
00:44:08,162 --> 00:44:09,854
What?
783
00:44:09,992 --> 00:44:12,270
You look a little hungry.
Here, have a snack.
784
00:44:14,513 --> 00:44:18,690
You can write your own songs.
785
00:44:18,828 --> 00:44:20,416
You think I took
you under my wing
786
00:44:20,554 --> 00:44:22,832
because you write parody songs?
787
00:44:22,970 --> 00:44:26,353
No, I saw in you a visionary,
788
00:44:26,491 --> 00:44:30,460
an artist who has
something to give to the world.
789
00:44:30,598 --> 00:44:32,186
I saw in you something special,
790
00:44:32,324 --> 00:44:35,603
something your father
doesn't see
791
00:44:35,742 --> 00:44:38,192
and that even you don't see...
792
00:44:40,332 --> 00:44:41,368
yet.
793
00:44:41,506 --> 00:44:43,197
This guacamole tastes funny.
794
00:44:43,335 --> 00:44:46,891
Of course
it does. It's loaded with LSD.
795
00:44:47,029 --> 00:44:48,064
What?
796
00:44:48,202 --> 00:44:50,101
- No!
797
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,794
You need to open your heart
and your mind,
798
00:44:53,932 --> 00:44:57,625
face your fears,
break your chains,
799
00:44:57,764 --> 00:44:59,524
come with me
on a spiritual journey.
800
00:44:59,662 --> 00:45:01,491
Find your source of inspiration!
801
00:45:01,629 --> 00:45:04,736
No, that-that is totally
not cool, man. You can't just--
802
00:45:04,874 --> 00:45:07,670
Whoa, no, what is happening
to your head?
803
00:45:07,808 --> 00:45:09,534
That's probably
the drugs kicking in.
804
00:45:09,672 --> 00:45:11,639
Just relax and enjoy the ride.
805
00:45:11,778 --> 00:45:14,228
It'll be over in like,
ten to 12 hours.
806
00:45:14,366 --> 00:45:17,853
Twelve hours?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
807
00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:22,202
I'm just gonna close my eyes
and when I open them up again,
808
00:45:22,340 --> 00:45:24,273
everything is gonna
be completely back to--
809
00:45:33,765 --> 00:45:36,457
What in God's name
are you doing, boy?
810
00:45:36,595 --> 00:45:38,597
Those aren't the right words!
811
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,841
Please, just stop being
who you are
812
00:45:40,979 --> 00:45:42,705
and doing the things you love.
813
00:45:42,843 --> 00:45:46,364
You, Al Yankovic,
are the most untalented,
814
00:45:46,502 --> 00:45:50,955
pathetic loser I've ever
met in my entire life!
815
00:45:51,093 --> 00:45:54,027
No, no, no, stop it.
Leave me alone!
816
00:45:56,995 --> 00:46:01,966
Alfred Yankovic, this
is your time.
817
00:46:02,104 --> 00:46:06,004
Believe in yourself,
and the song will come to you.
818
00:46:06,142 --> 00:46:07,799
Don't listen to him, boy!
819
00:46:07,937 --> 00:46:10,768
You belong with me,
at the factory!
820
00:46:10,906 --> 00:46:14,392
It's your destiny!
821
00:46:14,530 --> 00:46:17,775
Aah! No!
822
00:46:25,403 --> 00:46:27,405
Aah! No!
823
00:46:27,543 --> 00:46:31,374
He's losing his power
over you, keep going!
824
00:46:31,512 --> 00:46:33,169
I can't!
825
00:46:33,307 --> 00:46:36,414
Maybe you should try
a little Cap'n Crunch.
826
00:46:37,622 --> 00:46:39,382
What?
827
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,315
Raisin Bran, perhaps?
828
00:46:42,765 --> 00:46:45,354
No, no! I don't want
no Cap'n Crunch!
829
00:46:45,492 --> 00:46:47,252
Don't want no Raisin Bran!
830
00:46:47,390 --> 00:46:51,429
Eat it, just eat it.
831
00:46:51,567 --> 00:46:53,465
I don't understand!
832
00:46:53,603 --> 00:46:56,883
Don't you make me repeat it.
833
00:46:59,851 --> 00:47:02,026
What's happening to me?
834
00:47:02,164 --> 00:47:05,684
Now you must die
in order to be reborn.
835
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:09,205
No, no! No!
836
00:47:42,376 --> 00:47:43,481
Put it in.
837
00:47:45,483 --> 00:47:48,382
♪ How come you're always
Such a fussy young man ♪
838
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,351
♪ Don't want no Cap'n Crunch
Don't want no Raisin Bran ♪
839
00:47:51,489 --> 00:47:53,698
♪ Well, don't you know
That other kids ♪
840
00:47:53,836 --> 00:47:54,975
♪ Are starving in Japan ♪
841
00:47:55,113 --> 00:47:58,047
♪ So eat it, just eat it ♪
842
00:48:00,739 --> 00:48:02,327
I've heard enough.
843
00:48:04,847 --> 00:48:07,091
It's brilliant.
844
00:48:07,229 --> 00:48:09,817
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't recognize the tune.
845
00:48:09,956 --> 00:48:11,889
What song
are you parodying here?
846
00:48:12,027 --> 00:48:13,891
I'm not parodying anything.
847
00:48:14,029 --> 00:48:15,962
This song is completely original.
848
00:48:16,100 --> 00:48:19,034
Wait, you wrote the words
and the music?
849
00:48:19,172 --> 00:48:20,173
That's right.
850
00:48:20,311 --> 00:48:23,279
Okay, just to be
perfectly clear,
851
00:48:23,417 --> 00:48:27,870
so you're saying this is not
a parody of an existing song,
852
00:48:28,008 --> 00:48:30,252
but an entirely
original composition
853
00:48:30,390 --> 00:48:32,461
that you wrote all by yourself?
854
00:48:32,599 --> 00:48:34,083
Yes.
855
00:48:34,221 --> 00:48:36,603
Not based on anybody else's song
in any way?
856
00:48:36,741 --> 00:48:38,846
Did I stutter?
857
00:48:40,987 --> 00:48:44,714
I'm tired of people thinking
I'm some kind of joke, okay?
858
00:48:44,852 --> 00:48:48,615
I am done writing
parody songs.
859
00:48:48,753 --> 00:48:50,134
Done.
860
00:48:50,893 --> 00:48:52,688
From now on,
861
00:48:52,826 --> 00:48:57,589
I am only gonna do
completely original music.
862
00:48:57,727 --> 00:49:00,213
Oh, Al, you can't smoke in here.
863
00:49:09,739 --> 00:49:12,225
I totally deserved that.
864
00:49:12,363 --> 00:49:17,057
Well, I am blown away.
This is a bold new direction.
865
00:49:17,195 --> 00:49:19,784
I mean, the parody
songs were fine,
866
00:49:19,922 --> 00:49:25,134
but you've completely
changed the game here.
867
00:49:25,272 --> 00:49:27,550
This is gonna be your
biggest hit yet.
868
00:49:30,036 --> 00:49:34,419
Okay, okay! Hold your horses!
869
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:47,674
"Weird Al" Yankovic.
870
00:49:47,812 --> 00:49:50,884
Um, do I know you?
871
00:49:51,022 --> 00:49:54,715
Madonna. Ring any bells?
872
00:49:54,853 --> 00:49:58,202
Oh, right. Madonna.
873
00:49:58,340 --> 00:50:02,378
Yeah, Lucky Star,
Holiday, Borderline.
874
00:50:02,516 --> 00:50:04,173
Born in Michigan,
Catholic schoolgirl,
875
00:50:04,311 --> 00:50:06,106
dropped outta college
and moved to New York City
876
00:50:06,244 --> 00:50:07,970
with nothing but the clothes
on your back
877
00:50:08,108 --> 00:50:09,316
and $35 in your pocket.
878
00:50:09,454 --> 00:50:11,698
Maybe it was to become
the Queen of Pop.
879
00:50:11,836 --> 00:50:15,115
Maybe it was to get back at Dad
for marrying the housekeeper.
880
00:50:16,427 --> 00:50:17,635
Wow.
881
00:50:17,773 --> 00:50:19,809
You know a lot more about me
than you let on.
882
00:50:19,947 --> 00:50:24,400
What can I say?
I'm full of surprises.
883
00:50:26,713 --> 00:50:30,786
So, what brings you
here, Madonna?
884
00:50:30,924 --> 00:50:32,684
Oh, I was in the neighborhood.
885
00:50:32,822 --> 00:50:38,311
Wanted to see if my map to
the stars' homes was accurate.
886
00:50:38,449 --> 00:50:41,210
Guess you won't need
a refund, then.
887
00:50:41,348 --> 00:50:45,214
Is that, uh, all you wanted?
888
00:50:45,352 --> 00:50:50,392
No, I want a lot of things,
889
00:50:50,530 --> 00:50:52,980
but the truth is,
I'm a big fan of yours.
890
00:50:53,119 --> 00:50:55,569
Join the club.
891
00:50:55,707 --> 00:50:59,953
Have you heard my new
single, Like a Virgin?
892
00:51:00,091 --> 00:51:01,403
Oh, I've heard it.
893
00:51:01,541 --> 00:51:06,960
And I'm curious,
is that song autobiographical?
894
00:51:07,098 --> 00:51:10,343
Yes. I technically am a virgin,
895
00:51:10,481 --> 00:51:13,760
except for the fact
that I've had a lot of sex.
896
00:51:13,898 --> 00:51:16,452
I mean, a lot.
897
00:51:18,005 --> 00:51:19,248
I see.
898
00:51:20,215 --> 00:51:22,838
Anyway, I was wondering
899
00:51:22,976 --> 00:51:25,427
if you were going to
do a parody of my song.
900
00:51:26,945 --> 00:51:28,430
Maybe.
901
00:51:28,568 --> 00:51:30,777
I like that.
902
00:51:30,915 --> 00:51:35,230
So, would you like to see
the rest of the house?
903
00:51:35,368 --> 00:51:37,542
There's only one room
I'm interested in seeing.
904
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:39,544
Oh, I'm doing some
work on the bathroom,
905
00:51:39,682 --> 00:51:41,753
but there's another
one downstairs.
906
00:51:41,891 --> 00:51:44,135
Oh, I'm not talking
about the bathroom.
907
00:51:44,273 --> 00:51:47,690
Then let me show you
to the laundry room.
908
00:51:49,278 --> 00:51:53,558
Al Yankovic,
are you playing with me?
909
00:51:55,388 --> 00:51:56,665
Yes?
910
00:52:19,929 --> 00:52:23,105
Oh, you're so weird.
911
00:52:40,329 --> 00:52:43,746
So, are we like, boyfriend
and girlfriend now?
912
00:52:45,610 --> 00:52:48,648
Maybe.
913
00:52:48,786 --> 00:52:52,376
Well, now that things
are official,
914
00:52:52,514 --> 00:52:55,655
I should really be
honest with you.
915
00:52:55,793 --> 00:53:00,798
When I said I might parody
one of your songs, I lied.
916
00:53:04,215 --> 00:53:07,080
So, it's true,
what they're saying.
917
00:53:07,218 --> 00:53:10,117
You're not doing
parodies anymore.
918
00:53:10,256 --> 00:53:11,740
My song Eat It,
919
00:53:11,878 --> 00:53:14,191
which, as you know, is
a hundred percent original,
920
00:53:14,329 --> 00:53:17,642
is the biggest hit
by anybody ever.
921
00:53:17,780 --> 00:53:20,266
So, I've decided that's all
I wanna do from now on.
922
00:53:20,404 --> 00:53:23,096
Completely original songs.
923
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:29,689
See, that's what
I love about you.
924
00:53:29,827 --> 00:53:33,279
You know what you want and
you know how to get it.
925
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,592
Just like me.
926
00:53:49,536 --> 00:53:52,229
♪ Just eat it, eat it ♪
927
00:53:52,367 --> 00:53:55,439
♪ Don't you make me repeat it ♪
928
00:53:55,577 --> 00:53:58,614
♪ Have a banana
Have a whole bunch ♪
929
00:53:58,752 --> 00:54:01,652
♪ It doesn't matter
What you had for lunch ♪
930
00:54:01,790 --> 00:54:04,689
♪ Just eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it ♪
931
00:54:04,827 --> 00:54:06,657
♪ Eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it ♪
932
00:54:06,795 --> 00:54:11,455
How about that?
And I've got some amazing news.
933
00:54:11,593 --> 00:54:14,147
I've officially gotten the word
that we have broken
934
00:54:14,285 --> 00:54:18,841
the Beatles' record for most
singles in the Billboard Top 10.
935
00:54:19,773 --> 00:54:20,947
Oh.
936
00:54:24,778 --> 00:54:26,159
Yeah, cool.
937
00:54:26,297 --> 00:54:27,850
Uh, okay.
938
00:54:27,988 --> 00:54:32,476
Well, um, we have some very
exciting offers pouring in
939
00:54:32,614 --> 00:54:35,133
that I would love to--
940
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:37,170
- That--
- Oh, that feels good.
941
00:54:37,308 --> 00:54:38,861
love to discuss with--
942
00:54:38,999 --> 00:54:40,138
Love to discuss with you.
943
00:54:40,277 --> 00:54:41,830
We got some, some great calls.
944
00:54:41,968 --> 00:54:43,935
- Uh, very interesting.
945
00:54:44,073 --> 00:54:47,732
Led Zeppelin, uh, is thinking
about getting back together,
946
00:54:47,870 --> 00:54:49,803
but they say the only
way they'll do it
947
00:54:49,941 --> 00:54:52,047
is if they can
open up for you on tour.
948
00:54:52,185 --> 00:54:53,807
I mean, that's sweet, but yeah.
949
00:54:53,945 --> 00:54:56,914
I already offered the gig
to Howie Mandel, so.
950
00:54:58,364 --> 00:55:01,539
Okay, yeah. But this
is perhaps--
951
00:55:01,677 --> 00:55:06,820
Look, I am not bumping
Mandel for Zeppelin, okay? Pass.
952
00:55:06,958 --> 00:55:10,859
Okay. Got it.
953
00:55:10,997 --> 00:55:14,311
Uh, well, we have another offer,
a very serious offer.
954
00:55:14,449 --> 00:55:18,522
This is to replace Roger Moore
in the James Bond franchise.
955
00:55:18,660 --> 00:55:20,109
- Now this one--
- No!
956
00:55:20,247 --> 00:55:21,870
No, no, no, I'm not gonna
be the new James Bond.
957
00:55:22,008 --> 00:55:23,872
I'm not gonna be
the new Indiana Jones.
958
00:55:24,010 --> 00:55:27,738
From now on, everything I do
has to be completely original.
959
00:55:27,876 --> 00:55:29,843
How many times have
I gotta say that?
960
00:55:29,981 --> 00:55:33,951
Look, Mr. Pimento,
we have places to be.
961
00:55:34,089 --> 00:55:36,091
How long is this gonna take?
962
00:55:36,229 --> 00:55:38,542
Not much longer.
963
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,267
We got another offer
for you to play
964
00:55:40,406 --> 00:55:42,546
Pablo Escobar's 40th
birthday party.
965
00:55:42,684 --> 00:55:44,582
I saw him on the news.
He's a really big deal.
966
00:55:44,720 --> 00:55:47,205
The drug lord?
Why is he so obsessed with me?
967
00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:52,383
And he has upped his offer
to three billion pesos.
968
00:55:52,521 --> 00:55:54,385
I mean, okay, how much is
that in American money?
969
00:55:54,523 --> 00:55:55,800
You know what, never mind.
970
00:55:55,938 --> 00:55:57,699
I don't feel like
doing the math.
971
00:55:57,837 --> 00:55:59,217
Well, I've done the math
and I can assure you--
972
00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:01,737
Bup-bup-bup!
I can do my own math,
973
00:56:01,875 --> 00:56:03,946
and I said,
I don't want to. Pass.
974
00:56:05,016 --> 00:56:08,088
Alfy, are you chewing my gum?
975
00:56:08,226 --> 00:56:10,436
I don't know. Maybe.
976
00:56:10,574 --> 00:56:12,748
You wanna come get it?
977
00:56:24,553 --> 00:56:26,383
You, you don't think
things are moving
978
00:56:26,521 --> 00:56:27,867
too fast with us, do you?
979
00:56:28,005 --> 00:56:31,836
Baby, don't be silly.
We're soulmates.
980
00:56:31,974 --> 00:56:35,461
This is true love.
When you know, you know.
981
00:56:35,599 --> 00:56:37,048
You're so right.
982
00:56:37,186 --> 00:56:41,328
This has been the happiest
six hours of my life.
983
00:56:41,467 --> 00:56:45,367
Mr. Yankovic, you have
a phone call at the host stand.
984
00:56:46,230 --> 00:56:47,887
Excuse me, my love.
985
00:56:55,481 --> 00:56:56,999
This better be good.
986
00:56:58,449 --> 00:56:59,830
Well...
987
00:57:01,210 --> 00:57:03,005
What's going on, Tony?
988
00:57:03,143 --> 00:57:07,320
Okay, um, I-I thought you
should hear it from me first.
989
00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:12,325
Michael Jackson just released
a new single called Beat It.
990
00:57:12,463 --> 00:57:14,396
It's, um...
991
00:57:14,534 --> 00:57:16,985
Well, it's-it's a parody
of Eat It.
992
00:57:17,123 --> 00:57:19,781
You mean the kid from
the Jackson Five?
993
00:57:19,919 --> 00:57:22,162
Why is that has-been trying
to ride my coattails?
994
00:57:22,300 --> 00:57:25,062
He actually has a pretty
successful solo career now.
995
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:26,615
Whatever! You're telling me
996
00:57:26,753 --> 00:57:28,790
Michael Jackson recorded
a parody of my song?
997
00:57:28,928 --> 00:57:30,377
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
998
00:57:30,516 --> 00:57:31,827
Same music, different words.
999
00:57:31,965 --> 00:57:33,588
What kinda sick freak
changes the words
1000
00:57:33,726 --> 00:57:35,762
to someone else's song?
1001
00:57:36,625 --> 00:57:38,351
Beat It, huh?
1002
00:57:38,489 --> 00:57:40,249
Wait, so it's about eggs?
1003
00:57:40,387 --> 00:57:41,872
No, no, it's, uh, I don't
think it's even about food.
1004
00:57:42,010 --> 00:57:43,943
It's about fighting or...
1005
00:57:44,081 --> 00:57:46,014
trying to avoid a fight?
I'm not exactly sure--
1006
00:57:46,152 --> 00:57:50,087
What gives him the right?
Can he even do this?
1007
00:57:50,225 --> 00:57:52,192
I think you're overreacting
just a little, okay?
1008
00:57:52,330 --> 00:57:55,057
I mean, this could be
great publicity.
1009
00:57:55,195 --> 00:57:56,542
Sell a few more albums.
1010
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:59,096
No, I don't need to
sell more albums, Tony!
1011
00:57:59,234 --> 00:58:01,512
I need people to start
taking me seriously
1012
00:58:01,650 --> 00:58:03,652
as an artist
that creates original music.
1013
00:58:03,790 --> 00:58:05,585
Now some idiots
will probably get confused
1014
00:58:05,723 --> 00:58:08,312
and think Beat It came first!
1015
00:58:08,450 --> 00:58:09,865
Nobody's gonna think that.
1016
00:58:10,003 --> 00:58:12,178
This is a disaster,
for the rest of my life now,
1017
00:58:12,316 --> 00:58:14,421
I'm gonna be linked to
this Michael Jackson guy.
1018
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,182
And why would that be so bad?
1019
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,322
You know, maybe it's a good
thing. I-I think it's an honor.
1020
00:58:18,460 --> 00:58:20,462
Michael's one of the biggest
stars in the world.
1021
00:58:29,229 --> 00:58:30,507
Everything okay?
1022
00:58:30,645 --> 00:58:32,750
Everything's pretty
freaking not okay.
1023
00:58:32,888 --> 00:58:34,407
I finally created something
of my own
1024
00:58:34,545 --> 00:58:36,271
and now people are just gonna
think I'm ripping off
1025
00:58:36,409 --> 00:58:38,100
"Michael Jackson."
1026
00:58:38,238 --> 00:58:39,930
Your filet?
1027
00:58:42,415 --> 00:58:44,555
I think I lost my appetite.
1028
00:58:44,693 --> 00:58:47,662
Babe, you seem stressed.
You should have a drink.
1029
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,940
I don't really drink.
1030
00:58:50,078 --> 00:58:51,458
If there's one thing
I've learned in life,
1031
00:58:51,597 --> 00:58:53,219
the only thing
that can clear your head
1032
00:58:53,357 --> 00:58:55,911
and make you feel better is
hard alcohol, and lots of it.
1033
00:58:56,049 --> 00:59:00,847
Well, you know me better
than anyone.
1034
00:59:02,331 --> 00:59:03,540
I trust you.
1035
00:59:04,748 --> 00:59:06,197
He'll have a whiskey, neat.
1036
00:59:10,581 --> 00:59:13,860
You know what? Maybe you should
bring the whole bottle.
1037
00:59:23,387 --> 00:59:25,941
- I know, right?
1038
00:59:26,079 --> 00:59:30,670
Hey, hey. The king is here!
Let's get this party started.
1039
00:59:30,808 --> 00:59:34,156
Dude, soundcheck was supposed
to start like three hours ago.
1040
00:59:34,294 --> 00:59:39,023
Well, I wasn't here three hours
ago, so we're starting now.
1041
00:59:39,161 --> 00:59:40,818
Al, are you drunk?
1042
00:59:40,956 --> 00:59:42,302
I'm not drunk,
you're all drunk.
1043
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:43,821
No, this is pointless.
1044
00:59:43,959 --> 00:59:46,134
Hey, man, why don't you
just get out of here?
1045
00:59:46,272 --> 00:59:48,654
I need to get out of here?
You need to get out of here!
1046
00:59:48,792 --> 00:59:50,241
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Guys, guys!
1047
00:59:50,379 --> 00:59:52,830
Al, look, it's the first show
of the tour tonight.
1048
00:59:52,968 --> 00:59:54,832
It's kind of a big deal.
1049
00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:56,282
Do you think you could maybe
not screw this up for everybody?
1050
00:59:56,420 --> 00:59:59,388
Oh, what-what-what are
you gonna do, fire me?
1051
00:59:59,526 --> 01:00:02,737
You guys are nothing without me.
1052
01:00:02,875 --> 01:00:05,671
Yeah, I could replace
you with a drum machine
1053
01:00:05,809 --> 01:00:09,536
and you with a guitar machine
1054
01:00:09,675 --> 01:00:12,022
and you with a...
1055
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:13,989
I don't know,
with some other machine.
1056
01:00:14,127 --> 01:00:16,578
You're all just a bunch
of normals, okay,
1057
01:00:16,716 --> 01:00:20,651
I'm the weird one!
I am the weird one!
1058
01:00:26,415 --> 01:00:29,626
Okay. That's it.
1059
01:00:37,254 --> 01:00:40,015
You've changed, man.
1060
01:00:40,153 --> 01:00:43,225
- Fame's really gotten to you.
1061
01:00:43,363 --> 01:00:45,055
Wow.
1062
01:00:48,092 --> 01:00:49,680
Look, just get yourself
cleaned up
1063
01:00:49,818 --> 01:00:51,613
for the show tonight, all right?
1064
01:00:55,065 --> 01:00:56,963
- You're a mess.
- Yeah.
1065
01:01:02,797 --> 01:01:04,522
They seem nice.
1066
01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:05,869
Yeah, they're great.
1067
01:01:07,871 --> 01:01:10,839
- Al?
- Oh, what do you want?
1068
01:01:10,977 --> 01:01:12,979
Can I talk to you for a minute?
1069
01:01:15,568 --> 01:01:16,673
Privately?
1070
01:01:16,811 --> 01:01:18,053
Look, anything you
wanna say to me,
1071
01:01:18,191 --> 01:01:20,677
you can say
in front of my girlfriend.
1072
01:01:21,954 --> 01:01:24,819
Okay, fine.
1073
01:01:24,957 --> 01:01:26,579
I think Madonna's
a bad influence on you.
1074
01:01:26,717 --> 01:01:29,478
I think she's an evil,
conniving succubus,
1075
01:01:29,616 --> 01:01:32,516
and she's only using you for
her pathetic and selfish needs.
1076
01:01:32,654 --> 01:01:34,207
- What?
- No offense.
1077
01:01:34,345 --> 01:01:38,487
She only wants you for that
sweet, sweet Yankovic Bump.
1078
01:01:38,625 --> 01:01:40,144
She knows her record sales
1079
01:01:40,282 --> 01:01:42,319
will go through the roof
if you parody her.
1080
01:01:42,457 --> 01:01:44,217
How dare you.
1081
01:01:44,355 --> 01:01:48,601
This woman is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
1082
01:01:48,739 --> 01:01:52,605
And besides, I already told her
I'm not doing any more, um...
1083
01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:55,470
Any more...
The thing you said.
1084
01:01:55,608 --> 01:01:57,265
- Song parodies.
- Song parodies!
1085
01:01:57,403 --> 01:01:58,956
You're so drunk right now,
1086
01:01:59,094 --> 01:02:01,200
I bet you couldn't even
give her that Yankovic Bump.
1087
01:02:01,338 --> 01:02:02,891
That's not true!
1088
01:02:03,029 --> 01:02:04,997
That's not true, I'll come up
with that song parody right now.
1089
01:02:05,135 --> 01:02:08,483
Instead of "Like a Virgin,"
it'll be "Like a..."
1090
01:02:08,621 --> 01:02:09,967
Like a...
1091
01:02:11,762 --> 01:02:13,212
Like a...
1092
01:02:13,350 --> 01:02:15,317
Shut up, it's impossible!
Nothing rhymes with virgin.
1093
01:02:15,455 --> 01:02:17,630
Al, listen.
1094
01:02:17,768 --> 01:02:19,183
You gotta take care of yourself.
1095
01:02:19,321 --> 01:02:21,116
When she's done with you,
she's gonna drop you
1096
01:02:21,254 --> 01:02:22,911
like a sack of spoiled cabbage.
1097
01:02:23,049 --> 01:02:25,396
No, no, shut up, shut up!
You're not my dad.
1098
01:02:25,534 --> 01:02:29,055
You think you're my dad,
but you are not my dad.
1099
01:02:32,231 --> 01:02:34,405
Baby?
Baby, where are you going?
1100
01:02:34,543 --> 01:02:36,822
I'm goin' for a drive to
clear my mind, on my own.
1101
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:40,826
No, no, no, no, no.
You cannot go.
1102
01:02:42,828 --> 01:02:44,450
Without your car keys.
1103
01:02:44,588 --> 01:02:48,040
Thank you so much.
1104
01:03:02,848 --> 01:03:04,401
Well, we can't wait.
1105
01:03:04,539 --> 01:03:06,921
Weird Al hits the stage
at Joe Robbie Stadium
1106
01:03:07,059 --> 01:03:08,819
tonight at eight o'clock,
1107
01:03:08,957 --> 01:03:10,648
and it's gonna be
off the chain.
1108
01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,202
One for the history--
1109
01:03:12,340 --> 01:03:14,583
- ♪ Just eat it, eat it ♪
1110
01:03:14,721 --> 01:03:17,621
♪ Another one rides the bus... ♪
1111
01:03:17,759 --> 01:03:19,796
♪ M-M-M-My bologna... ♪
1112
01:03:21,590 --> 01:03:23,247
♪ Have another triple scoop
With me... ♪
1113
01:03:23,385 --> 01:03:25,318
Well, that was
multi-platinum recording artist
1114
01:03:25,456 --> 01:03:27,838
"Weird Al" Yankovic with
I Love Rocky Road,
1115
01:03:27,976 --> 01:03:31,738
and my god, have you ever seen
a more durable pop artist?
1116
01:03:31,877 --> 01:03:33,223
Anything you throw at this guy,
1117
01:03:33,361 --> 01:03:35,639
he just seems capable
of surviving it.
1118
01:03:35,777 --> 01:03:38,435
I'll bet he could land a plane
into a volcano
1119
01:03:38,573 --> 01:03:41,196
- and still come out--
1120
01:03:57,972 --> 01:03:59,490
Dammit.
1121
01:04:01,699 --> 01:04:04,047
All right, nurse, let's call it.
1122
01:04:05,738 --> 01:04:07,705
Time of death: 7:30--
1123
01:04:12,296 --> 01:04:13,746
Quick!
1124
01:04:13,884 --> 01:04:15,679
I need some paper
and a number two pencil.
1125
01:04:15,817 --> 01:04:17,301
Here you go, baby.
1126
01:04:17,439 --> 01:04:19,269
Excuse me, miss, he's
in no condition to be doing--
1127
01:04:19,407 --> 01:04:23,031
Look, there's no time, okay?
He's got a show in 30 minutes.
1128
01:04:23,169 --> 01:04:25,827
- All right.
1129
01:04:25,965 --> 01:04:28,209
Better give me
all your gauze, nurse.
1130
01:04:31,695 --> 01:04:34,974
♪ I finally made it through
Med school ♪
1131
01:04:35,112 --> 01:04:39,772
♪ Somehow I made it through ♪
1132
01:04:39,910 --> 01:04:41,222
♪ I'm just an intern ♪
1133
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:45,502
♪ I still make a mistake
Or two ♪
1134
01:04:46,883 --> 01:04:50,403
♪ I was last in my class ♪
1135
01:04:50,541 --> 01:04:54,062
♪ Barely passed
At the institute ♪
1136
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:58,135
♪ Now I'm trying to avoid ♪
1137
01:04:58,273 --> 01:05:01,621
♪ Yeah, I'm trying to avoid ♪
1138
01:05:01,759 --> 01:05:04,245
♪ A malpractice suit ♪
1139
01:05:05,971 --> 01:05:09,077
♪ Like a surgeon, hey! ♪
1140
01:05:09,215 --> 01:05:12,391
♪ Cuttin'
For the very first time ♪
1141
01:05:12,529 --> 01:05:13,426
Yes!
1142
01:05:13,564 --> 01:05:17,085
♪ Like a surgeon ♪
1143
01:05:17,223 --> 01:05:21,779
♪ Here's a waiver
For you to sign ♪
1144
01:05:28,165 --> 01:05:31,858
This is all for you, babe.
I love you so much.
1145
01:05:32,756 --> 01:05:34,102
I think I should have
1146
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:35,828
stuck around for that
blood transfusion, though.
1147
01:05:35,966 --> 01:05:37,968
- I think I'm gonna pass out.
- No, babe, you're killing it.
1148
01:05:38,106 --> 01:05:40,281
- Now get back out there.
- Okay.
1149
01:05:44,009 --> 01:05:46,114
♪ Like a surgeon ♪
1150
01:05:46,252 --> 01:05:50,187
♪ Ooh-hoo, like a surgeon ♪
1151
01:05:50,325 --> 01:05:53,639
♪ When I reach inside ♪
1152
01:05:53,777 --> 01:05:57,539
♪ With my scalpel
And my forceps ♪
1153
01:05:57,677 --> 01:06:02,303
♪ And retractors
Oh-ho-oh-oh-oh ♪
1154
01:06:02,441 --> 01:06:07,964
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-ho-oh-ho-oh-ho ♪
1155
01:06:10,173 --> 01:06:14,073
♪ Ooh, baby, yeah ♪
1156
01:06:14,211 --> 01:06:16,593
♪ I can hear your heart beat ♪
1157
01:06:18,353 --> 01:06:20,355
♪ For the very last time ♪
1158
01:06:29,778 --> 01:06:33,368
Okay, babe, you have
a costume change, one more song,
1159
01:06:33,506 --> 01:06:35,405
and then we can go home
and sleep it off.
1160
01:06:35,543 --> 01:06:36,647
Okay.
1161
01:06:41,066 --> 01:06:42,343
No, no, no, no.
1162
01:06:42,481 --> 01:06:44,069
What-what is that?
I'm not wearing that.
1163
01:06:44,207 --> 01:06:45,587
It's your Eat It jacket, babe.
1164
01:06:45,725 --> 01:06:46,899
No, not anymore, it's not.
1165
01:06:47,037 --> 01:06:48,625
That is a Michael Jackson
jacket now.
1166
01:06:48,763 --> 01:06:50,282
I don't wanna see it.
Get that outta my face.
1167
01:06:50,420 --> 01:06:52,042
You don't have to wear it
if you don't want to.
1168
01:06:52,180 --> 01:06:55,390
Now just drink up.
Yeah, that's good, yeah.
1169
01:06:55,528 --> 01:06:58,531
Little more, little more.
That's the medicine.
1170
01:07:32,013 --> 01:07:36,638
Boo, boo, boo, boo!
1171
01:07:36,776 --> 01:07:41,471
Yeah, that's what
you sound like. Boo!
1172
01:07:41,609 --> 01:07:44,957
Oh, what? You want,
do you wanna hear Eat It?
1173
01:07:45,095 --> 01:07:46,269
- Do you?
1174
01:07:46,407 --> 01:07:49,444
Okay, here goes.
1175
01:07:54,932 --> 01:07:58,143
You're all a bunch of slaves!
1176
01:07:58,281 --> 01:07:59,730
- You're morons.
1177
01:07:59,868 --> 01:08:02,285
Idiots!
1178
01:08:02,423 --> 01:08:05,564
Oh, what, what, you paid good
money to see a show?
1179
01:08:05,702 --> 01:08:09,568
You worked your little butts off
at some dangerous factory?
1180
01:08:09,706 --> 01:08:13,813
God only knows what
they make there!
1181
01:08:13,951 --> 01:08:16,092
No one will tell you that.
1182
01:08:20,441 --> 01:08:23,685
What do they make
in the factory?
1183
01:08:23,823 --> 01:08:25,653
What do they make?
1184
01:08:27,655 --> 01:08:31,314
Do you like getting
pushed around?
1185
01:08:31,452 --> 01:08:33,868
You like letting everybody
push you around?
1186
01:08:34,006 --> 01:08:38,562
Yeah, I think you do.
I think you like it.
1187
01:08:38,700 --> 01:08:42,014
You like letting your dad
push you around?
1188
01:08:42,152 --> 01:08:43,533
No!
1189
01:08:43,671 --> 01:08:46,329
You like letting Michael Jackson
push you around?
1190
01:08:46,467 --> 01:08:50,160
- No!
1191
01:08:50,298 --> 01:08:53,853
Well, what are you
gonna do about it?
1192
01:08:53,991 --> 01:08:56,270
What are you gonna do about it?
1193
01:08:56,408 --> 01:09:00,377
- What are you gonna do?
1194
01:09:03,518 --> 01:09:07,039
So... you wanna see it?
1195
01:09:10,870 --> 01:09:13,079
Do you want me to
show it to you?
1196
01:09:15,979 --> 01:09:17,912
I'm gonna whip it out!
1197
01:09:20,432 --> 01:09:22,434
You don't think
I'll do it, do you?
1198
01:09:22,572 --> 01:09:25,644
I haven't whipped it out yet
but I'm gonna do it for you,
1199
01:09:25,782 --> 01:09:29,130
but only if you really
want me to.
1200
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,480
Okay, here goes!
1201
01:09:36,137 --> 01:09:37,794
Yeah!
1202
01:09:39,623 --> 01:09:42,626
- Get off me! Get off me!
1203
01:09:46,906 --> 01:09:48,908
We're sorry
to interrupt
1204
01:09:49,046 --> 01:09:51,221
the President's address,
but we have breaking news.
1205
01:09:51,359 --> 01:09:54,086
Parody songsmith
"Weird Al" Yankovic
1206
01:09:54,224 --> 01:09:55,674
was arrested earlier tonight
1207
01:09:55,812 --> 01:09:58,711
in Miami-Dade County
for lewd behavior.
1208
01:10:04,752 --> 01:10:06,685
Okay. Here's my thought.
1209
01:10:06,823 --> 01:10:09,135
I think this is a really great
idea, I hope you like it.
1210
01:10:09,274 --> 01:10:10,861
We team up, right?
1211
01:10:10,999 --> 01:10:13,312
I'll write all the, you know,
good songs, the real ones,
1212
01:10:13,450 --> 01:10:15,832
and then you parody them
every time.
1213
01:10:15,970 --> 01:10:18,179
Bam, bam. It's perfect.
1214
01:10:19,836 --> 01:10:21,217
Sounds great.
1215
01:10:21,355 --> 01:10:22,666
It's foolproof,
we'll be unstoppable.
1216
01:10:22,804 --> 01:10:24,116
We'll be the hottest
power couple
1217
01:10:24,254 --> 01:10:25,807
in the entire music industry.
1218
01:10:25,945 --> 01:10:27,706
What would our power
couple name be?
1219
01:10:27,844 --> 01:10:32,124
I'm thinking Madankovic
or Madonnavic
1220
01:10:32,262 --> 01:10:36,439
or maybe just Madonna.
1221
01:10:36,577 --> 01:10:38,751
There'll be plenty of time
to figure all of that out.
1222
01:10:38,889 --> 01:10:40,960
But can you imagine
the world tour?
1223
01:10:41,098 --> 01:10:45,517
Madonna... with Weird Al.
1224
01:10:45,655 --> 01:10:49,245
All that money?
I just got the tingles.
1225
01:10:51,799 --> 01:10:54,629
But I mean, you're okay
with all of this, right?
1226
01:10:55,492 --> 01:10:57,218
Look, babe, I'm--
1227
01:10:58,668 --> 01:11:03,431
I'm seriously okay
with anything you wanna do.
1228
01:11:03,569 --> 01:11:07,366
I mean, look at me.
I'm a train wreck.
1229
01:11:07,504 --> 01:11:10,335
I'm barely holding it together.
1230
01:11:10,473 --> 01:11:13,165
My parents wrote me off.
1231
01:11:13,303 --> 01:11:17,307
I pushed away my band,
Dr. Demento,
1232
01:11:17,445 --> 01:11:19,896
everyone who was
important to me.
1233
01:11:22,312 --> 01:11:24,452
You're all I got.
1234
01:11:24,590 --> 01:11:27,731
You are literally the only thing
I have left in the world,
1235
01:11:27,869 --> 01:11:32,426
and if anything happened to you,
I don't know what I would do.
1236
01:11:34,393 --> 01:11:37,362
No, no! No!
1237
01:11:37,500 --> 01:11:39,743
Relax, Mr. Yankovic.
1238
01:11:39,881 --> 01:11:41,538
We only wanna borrow
your girlfriend.
1239
01:11:41,676 --> 01:11:44,507
Just stay calm and
nothing will happen to you.
1240
01:11:44,645 --> 01:11:47,648
Please, sir, please.
Whatever you do--
1241
01:11:51,341 --> 01:11:52,929
Don't hurt me.
1242
01:11:55,311 --> 01:11:57,347
- Help me!
- Madonna!
1243
01:12:01,213 --> 01:12:03,767
- Hiya!
1244
01:12:47,432 --> 01:12:50,676
- Die, die!
1245
01:12:52,747 --> 01:12:55,509
- Order up.
1246
01:12:57,269 --> 01:13:00,030
Pablo Escobar sends his regards!
1247
01:13:07,106 --> 01:13:11,352
Pablo Escobar, you just made the
biggest mistake of your life.
1248
01:13:20,775 --> 01:13:22,398
Getting eaten alive out here!
1249
01:13:24,089 --> 01:13:25,504
Got a smoke?
1250
01:13:26,505 --> 01:13:28,058
Yeah.
1251
01:13:28,196 --> 01:13:29,508
Here you go.
1252
01:13:34,271 --> 01:13:35,480
You hear that?
1253
01:13:35,618 --> 01:13:38,103
Yeah.
I think it came from over there.
1254
01:13:53,359 --> 01:13:54,637
Over there!
1255
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:00,608
We got him.
1256
01:14:09,548 --> 01:14:10,653
Wait a second.
1257
01:14:13,759 --> 01:14:15,036
This isn't a man.
1258
01:14:16,590 --> 01:14:18,695
It's a hay boy!
1259
01:14:27,946 --> 01:14:29,637
This'll do.
1260
01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:46,861
So, then I'm stomping on him and
stomping him with my boots,
1261
01:14:46,999 --> 01:14:48,622
and he's calling for
his mom and I'm like,
1262
01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:50,762
"Stop being so extra."
You know, it's like--
1263
01:14:50,900 --> 01:14:53,385
Oh, my goodness!
1264
01:14:53,523 --> 01:14:54,973
Ha-ha!
That better not be vanilla.
1265
01:14:55,111 --> 01:14:56,353
Who was it?
1266
01:14:56,492 --> 01:14:58,908
- No, who was it?
- Escobar!
1267
01:14:59,046 --> 01:15:01,945
Oh, Mr. Yankovic.
1268
01:15:02,083 --> 01:15:05,155
We've been expecting you.
Welcome, welcome.
1269
01:15:05,293 --> 01:15:09,574
As you know, I am a huge,
huge fan of your music.
1270
01:15:09,712 --> 01:15:12,956
I got all of your albums through
the Columbia House Record Club.
1271
01:15:13,094 --> 01:15:16,512
Twelve for one penny, you guys.
Really great deal.
1272
01:15:16,650 --> 01:15:17,961
Really great deal.
1273
01:15:18,099 --> 01:15:21,827
Anyway, I--Oops.
I hope you will forgive me
1274
01:15:21,965 --> 01:15:23,898
for kidnapping
your lovely girlfriend.
1275
01:15:24,036 --> 01:15:26,522
It just seemed like
that was the only way
1276
01:15:26,660 --> 01:15:29,973
to guarantee that you would
come to my birthday party.
1277
01:15:30,111 --> 01:15:31,837
Your agent, oy,
1278
01:15:31,975 --> 01:15:33,563
a real nightmare to deal with,
if I'm gonna be honest.
1279
01:15:33,701 --> 01:15:35,254
Real vicious guy.
1280
01:15:35,392 --> 01:15:37,463
You know, I'm sorry. Let me
turn down the music, please.
1281
01:15:37,602 --> 01:15:39,051
Just a little annoying, yeah.
1282
01:15:45,092 --> 01:15:47,508
I can hear
myself think now.
1283
01:15:47,646 --> 01:15:49,786
It's so noisy up in there.
Aah, the voices.
1284
01:15:49,924 --> 01:15:52,409
Oh. Oh, where are my manners?
1285
01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,239
We were just about
to cut the cake.
1286
01:15:54,377 --> 01:15:55,689
May I offer you a slice?
1287
01:15:55,827 --> 01:15:57,242
Let's get him a slice, please.
1288
01:15:57,380 --> 01:15:59,037
No. No cake.
1289
01:15:59,175 --> 01:16:01,764
Okay, Mr. Diet.
1290
01:16:01,902 --> 01:16:03,110
More for us, am I right?
1291
01:16:03,248 --> 01:16:06,285
I just want my woman,
then I'll go.
1292
01:16:07,701 --> 01:16:11,325
Ah, you want your woman. Okay.
1293
01:16:11,463 --> 01:16:16,019
I'm afraid that's
not how it works, Mr. Yankovic.
1294
01:16:16,157 --> 01:16:19,022
You see, you can't leave
until you perform for me.
1295
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:21,059
- Do you understand me?
- No dice.
1296
01:16:21,197 --> 01:16:23,648
Not gonna happen.
I'm not your monkey.
1297
01:16:23,786 --> 01:16:24,994
I can do Borderline.
1298
01:16:25,132 --> 01:16:27,583
No, I don't want that.
I want him.
1299
01:16:27,721 --> 01:16:30,896
Mr. Yankovic, why-why
all the drama?
1300
01:16:31,034 --> 01:16:33,002
I mean, you're already here.
1301
01:16:33,140 --> 01:16:36,557
Just perform one measly song for
us and then you guys can leave.
1302
01:16:36,695 --> 01:16:39,836
Come on, just one song, no?
1303
01:16:39,974 --> 01:16:42,598
How about that wonderful
1304
01:16:42,736 --> 01:16:45,290
Michael Jackson parody
that you did, huh?
1305
01:16:46,532 --> 01:16:49,605
That's not a parody!
1306
01:17:16,010 --> 01:17:20,049
Stop! Stop! It's my birthday!
Stop it! Stop it!
1307
01:17:22,465 --> 01:17:25,157
Well, first off, rude. Okay?
1308
01:17:25,295 --> 01:17:27,021
And second of all,
if you really,
1309
01:17:27,159 --> 01:17:29,575
really don't wanna entertain us,
then fine.
1310
01:17:29,714 --> 01:17:31,301
You can just leave.
1311
01:17:33,131 --> 01:17:36,652
Wait, so, so we can just go?
1312
01:17:36,790 --> 01:17:39,758
Yeah, you can go whenever
you want.
1313
01:17:40,483 --> 01:17:42,209
Psych!
1314
01:17:42,347 --> 01:17:44,142
No!
1315
01:17:48,733 --> 01:17:50,320
Very unfortunate.
1316
01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:54,497
He was like a God among men,
and now just worm food.
1317
01:17:54,635 --> 01:17:56,188
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
1318
01:17:56,326 --> 01:17:59,398
Anyway, back to the party.
Should we cut the cake or...?
1319
01:18:01,849 --> 01:18:05,370
Hey, Pablo,
you forgot one thing.
1320
01:18:07,199 --> 01:18:09,029
I'm certified platinum.
1321
01:18:11,997 --> 01:18:13,447
Hey, Escobar.
1322
01:18:14,482 --> 01:18:15,794
Eat it.
1323
01:18:24,044 --> 01:18:26,667
Okay, let's get outta here.
1324
01:18:29,981 --> 01:18:32,328
I just gotta get this medallion.
1325
01:18:32,466 --> 01:18:37,298
Okay.
Oh, it's in there. Ah.
1326
01:18:37,436 --> 01:18:41,026
Oh, gross, gross, gross,
gross, gross!
1327
01:18:45,237 --> 01:18:46,756
You just killed Pablo Escobar!
1328
01:18:46,894 --> 01:18:49,690
I know! I've killed so many
people this week.
1329
01:18:49,828 --> 01:18:53,452
Before last Thursday,
I never really killed anyone.
1330
01:18:53,590 --> 01:18:57,456
The things we do for love, huh?
Okay, come on. We gotta go.
1331
01:18:57,594 --> 01:19:01,426
Well, now, wait, wait, wait,
hear me out here.
1332
01:19:01,564 --> 01:19:05,568
With Escobar
out of the picture, maybe...
1333
01:19:05,706 --> 01:19:07,397
maybe we can run
the drug cartel.
1334
01:19:07,535 --> 01:19:08,882
Wait, what?
1335
01:19:09,020 --> 01:19:10,953
Supply and demand, baby.
1336
01:19:11,091 --> 01:19:13,645
Look, someone's gotta run
the cartel.
1337
01:19:13,783 --> 01:19:15,474
May as well be me. Us.
1338
01:19:15,612 --> 01:19:18,374
You can't be serious.
What about all our plans?
1339
01:19:18,512 --> 01:19:20,721
Writing songs together,
touring together.
1340
01:19:20,859 --> 01:19:23,828
Why rule the music industry
when you can rule the world?
1341
01:19:23,966 --> 01:19:26,865
All the money and power
is right here.
1342
01:19:27,003 --> 01:19:29,281
Madonna, that's...
1343
01:19:29,419 --> 01:19:31,180
No. No way.
1344
01:19:31,318 --> 01:19:35,356
My life is in America, and my
family would never forgive me
1345
01:19:35,494 --> 01:19:37,496
if I became involved
in a drug cartel.
1346
01:19:37,634 --> 01:19:40,499
Well, your family's
already disowned you, Al.
1347
01:19:40,637 --> 01:19:43,779
I'm all you've got, remember?
1348
01:19:43,917 --> 01:19:46,195
And we'll still be together.
1349
01:19:46,333 --> 01:19:49,060
I'll be the head of the cartel,
1350
01:19:49,198 --> 01:19:51,096
and you can be my number two.
1351
01:19:52,857 --> 01:19:54,099
Your number two.
1352
01:19:56,515 --> 01:20:00,726
I can't believe this.
Dr. Demento was right.
1353
01:20:00,865 --> 01:20:02,383
You were just using me
1354
01:20:02,521 --> 01:20:04,420
to further your own career,
weren't you?
1355
01:20:06,698 --> 01:20:09,770
Well... yeah.
1356
01:20:11,220 --> 01:20:14,257
My relationship with you
was a business decision...
1357
01:20:14,395 --> 01:20:15,949
and so is this.
1358
01:20:16,087 --> 01:20:18,952
It's all just business.
1359
01:20:21,644 --> 01:20:22,852
Wow.
1360
01:20:24,992 --> 01:20:28,340
Well, okay, then.
1361
01:20:30,101 --> 01:20:32,862
I guess--I guess that's it.
1362
01:20:38,419 --> 01:20:39,973
Have a nice life.
1363
01:20:48,395 --> 01:20:49,430
Whoa!
1364
01:20:51,122 --> 01:20:54,711
I can't let you leave, Al.
You know too much.
1365
01:20:54,850 --> 01:20:56,437
What are you talking about?
1366
01:20:57,887 --> 01:21:00,062
Stop that!
1367
01:21:00,200 --> 01:21:03,375
We could have made
such a beautiful team,
1368
01:21:03,513 --> 01:21:04,998
and you know what?
1369
01:21:05,136 --> 01:21:07,345
I decided I do like Weirdonna
better than Madonnavic.
1370
01:21:09,036 --> 01:21:11,349
But that's all over now.
1371
01:21:11,487 --> 01:21:15,111
Our partnership is officially dissolved.
1372
01:21:17,976 --> 01:21:19,529
Goodbye, Madonna.
1373
01:21:38,307 --> 01:21:41,758
Yeah. I had
a lot of soul-searching to do.
1374
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:45,417
Was I a parody singer?
An original artist?
1375
01:21:45,555 --> 01:21:48,179
The most dangerous
assassin in the world?
1376
01:21:48,317 --> 01:21:50,422
Maybe I had lost my way.
1377
01:21:50,560 --> 01:21:52,148
Don't get me wrong,
there were things
1378
01:21:52,286 --> 01:21:54,426
I loved about being Weird Al.
1379
01:21:54,564 --> 01:21:56,256
The fame, the money,
1380
01:21:56,394 --> 01:21:59,052
the fancy dinners,
joining the Illuminati,
1381
01:21:59,190 --> 01:22:01,675
going to the Illuminati
holiday party,
1382
01:22:01,813 --> 01:22:05,334
learning the truth about
the moon landing and JFK.
1383
01:22:05,472 --> 01:22:09,165
But without my family,
none of that mattered.
1384
01:22:09,303 --> 01:22:11,512
I knew what I had to do.
1385
01:22:27,011 --> 01:22:29,185
There it is, pretty simple.
1386
01:22:30,876 --> 01:22:35,157
When the light turns green,
you turn this crank to the left.
1387
01:22:35,295 --> 01:22:39,471
When it turns red, you stop
and pull this lever down.
1388
01:22:39,609 --> 01:22:42,578
When it turns green again,
you push this lever up
1389
01:22:42,716 --> 01:22:46,340
and turn this crank
back to the right.
1390
01:22:46,478 --> 01:22:50,137
Yep, that's about it.
Lunch is at 12:30.
1391
01:22:51,759 --> 01:22:53,382
Hey, can I ask you a question?
1392
01:22:54,417 --> 01:22:55,625
Sure.
1393
01:22:57,075 --> 01:23:00,009
What do we make here?
1394
01:23:00,147 --> 01:23:04,531
Your old man
said you was funny.
1395
01:23:04,669 --> 01:23:07,913
That's a good one.
"What do we make here?"
1396
01:23:37,702 --> 01:23:40,877
Somebody help! My leg!
1397
01:23:41,016 --> 01:23:42,293
Oh, uh...
1398
01:23:42,431 --> 01:23:46,573
It's burning me! Oh, my leg!
1399
01:23:46,711 --> 01:23:50,094
Ahh! Ahh! It burns!
1400
01:23:52,475 --> 01:23:53,890
Hey.
1401
01:23:54,029 --> 01:23:56,065
Cleanup crew to machine room.
1402
01:23:56,203 --> 01:23:57,998
You got a minute?
1403
01:23:58,136 --> 01:24:00,656
Well, what?
1404
01:24:02,692 --> 01:24:05,247
You want to take
a swing, old man?
1405
01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:09,734
No.
1406
01:24:11,977 --> 01:24:16,775
Just... what are you doing here?
1407
01:24:16,913 --> 01:24:20,124
What am I doing here? Really?
1408
01:24:21,608 --> 01:24:24,369
All my life, all I wanted to do
is please you,
1409
01:24:24,507 --> 01:24:26,233
but I was never enough.
1410
01:24:26,371 --> 01:24:29,340
You were always disappointed
in your "weird" son.
1411
01:24:29,478 --> 01:24:32,757
So yeah, I gave up
the most successful career
1412
01:24:32,895 --> 01:24:35,967
in music history to come work
at this miserable factory
1413
01:24:36,105 --> 01:24:37,589
because it's what
you've always wanted
1414
01:24:37,727 --> 01:24:40,005
and what, it is still
not enough for you?
1415
01:24:40,144 --> 01:24:41,766
I appreciate what you're doing.
1416
01:24:43,078 --> 01:24:45,321
This isn't the life for you.
1417
01:24:45,459 --> 01:24:48,048
Oh, what? So I'm not even
good at turning cranks now.
1418
01:24:48,186 --> 01:24:49,670
No, Alfred, that's
not what I'm saying.
1419
01:24:49,808 --> 01:24:51,534
What are you saying, then?
1420
01:24:57,161 --> 01:24:59,473
I was wrong to stand
in your way.
1421
01:25:01,958 --> 01:25:04,513
This isn't what you
were meant for.
1422
01:25:06,170 --> 01:25:07,516
You're special.
1423
01:25:08,758 --> 01:25:13,142
You're Weird Al,
and you're my son.
1424
01:25:15,834 --> 01:25:17,250
And I'm, uh...
1425
01:25:18,423 --> 01:25:20,080
I'm proud of you.
1426
01:25:27,329 --> 01:25:29,089
What are you doing?
1427
01:25:34,232 --> 01:25:35,164
Dad!
1428
01:25:41,860 --> 01:25:45,174
♪ Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg ♪
1429
01:25:45,312 --> 01:25:49,627
♪ The Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker ran away, hey! ♪
1430
01:25:50,973 --> 01:25:52,285
Yeah, that's
an absolute classic.
1431
01:25:52,423 --> 01:25:55,011
Whew.
1432
01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:57,842
Well, so Mom tells me you're
dating that singer Madonna.
1433
01:25:57,980 --> 01:26:01,328
Oh, um, no, we-we broke up.
1434
01:26:01,466 --> 01:26:04,366
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
What happened?
1435
01:26:04,504 --> 01:26:06,782
Yeah. It's-it's complicated.
1436
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:09,681
Well, don't worry. There's
plenty of other fish in the sea.
1437
01:26:09,819 --> 01:26:13,513
So, so, what is it like?
What's it like being you?
1438
01:26:13,651 --> 01:26:16,964
You know, world-famous
superstar and all?
1439
01:26:17,102 --> 01:26:24,109
Well, um, it's-it's fun,
but it's also a lot of pressure.
1440
01:26:24,248 --> 01:26:27,665
The hardest part for me is
just coming up with new songs.
1441
01:26:27,803 --> 01:26:31,047
I-I never know where my
next idea's gonna come from.
1442
01:26:31,186 --> 01:26:34,499
And yeah, I-I honestly, I don't
know if I have it in me anymore.
1443
01:26:34,637 --> 01:26:37,606
Oh, nonsense.
I'm sure that next big idea
1444
01:26:37,744 --> 01:26:40,264
is just right there
in front of you.
1445
01:26:43,784 --> 01:26:46,442
Well, you may have noticed
I've put on a little weight.
1446
01:26:46,580 --> 01:26:48,064
Don't be silly, Ma.
You look great.
1447
01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:49,411
You do, dear. I think you look
1448
01:26:49,549 --> 01:26:51,136
wonderful with a few
extra pounds.
1449
01:26:51,275 --> 01:26:52,862
I think you're pleasingly plump.
1450
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:55,900
Oh, Nick. You know I'm fat.
1451
01:26:56,038 --> 01:26:58,143
I'm fat, you know it.
1452
01:27:02,665 --> 01:27:03,839
What?
1453
01:27:03,977 --> 01:27:05,185
Wow.
1454
01:27:05,323 --> 01:27:07,222
Dad, can I ask you something?
1455
01:27:08,982 --> 01:27:12,882
Mom told me growing up,
you always had your reasons
1456
01:27:13,020 --> 01:27:14,919
for being so hard on me.
1457
01:27:18,647 --> 01:27:20,683
I think it's time, dear.
1458
01:27:23,790 --> 01:27:25,274
All right.
1459
01:27:38,770 --> 01:27:42,809
Oh, whoa.
1460
01:27:42,947 --> 01:27:47,020
I wrote it all down.
This should explain everything.
1461
01:27:47,158 --> 01:27:50,748
Okay, do you have maybe
a-a photo album
1462
01:27:50,886 --> 01:27:52,957
or we can just go through
the bullet points together?
1463
01:27:53,095 --> 01:27:56,236
I don't have a photo album,
but I have a sketchbook.
1464
01:27:56,374 --> 01:27:57,962
A sketchbook?
1465
01:28:00,275 --> 01:28:03,761
You see, we didn't
have any cameras
1466
01:28:03,899 --> 01:28:07,592
when I was growing up because...
1467
01:28:10,250 --> 01:28:12,494
I was raised Amish.
1468
01:28:13,426 --> 01:28:15,013
What, really?
1469
01:28:15,151 --> 01:28:18,879
Yep. I grew up Amish.
1470
01:28:19,017 --> 01:28:21,744
Lived in the community for
the first 16 years of my life.
1471
01:28:21,882 --> 01:28:24,989
And frankly, I don't think I
ever really fit in
1472
01:28:25,127 --> 01:28:27,716
because, well, if
I'm being honest,
1473
01:28:27,854 --> 01:28:32,237
I was just as weird as you
when I was a kid.
1474
01:28:32,376 --> 01:28:34,757
Yeah, I even made up new words
to the hymns
1475
01:28:34,895 --> 01:28:36,897
that we sang during
church service.
1476
01:28:37,035 --> 01:28:39,383
- That didn't go over too well.
1477
01:28:41,557 --> 01:28:43,973
That boy will never learn.
1478
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:45,665
And then when I was
a few years older,
1479
01:28:45,803 --> 01:28:47,874
I was able to go on rumspringa.
1480
01:28:48,012 --> 01:28:50,704
I finally had a chance to go
out into the great big world
1481
01:28:50,842 --> 01:28:54,536
and see what it had to offer.
1482
01:28:54,674 --> 01:28:57,228
And that's when I saw
the love of my life,
1483
01:28:57,366 --> 01:29:00,404
a 1933 Excelsior,
1484
01:29:00,542 --> 01:29:04,339
the finest accordion
there ever was.
1485
01:29:04,477 --> 01:29:08,860
Cost me every penny I had in
the world, but it was worth it.
1486
01:29:08,998 --> 01:29:11,242
So wait-wait-wait,
you had an accordion?
1487
01:29:11,380 --> 01:29:14,832
I did, I did, I did,
I was pretty good at it too.
1488
01:29:14,970 --> 01:29:17,490
I was not bad. I was
not bad at all.
1489
01:29:17,628 --> 01:29:19,112
I thought I was
the love of your life.
1490
01:29:19,250 --> 01:29:21,252
Oh, honey, you come
later, please. Anyway...
1491
01:29:21,390 --> 01:29:23,116
So, I tried for months
to make it
1492
01:29:23,254 --> 01:29:24,704
as a professional musician,
1493
01:29:24,842 --> 01:29:26,533
but it just wasn't
in God's plan.
1494
01:29:26,671 --> 01:29:28,155
Get outta here!
1495
01:29:28,293 --> 01:29:30,848
Failure mocked me
at every waking moment.
1496
01:29:30,986 --> 01:29:32,677
Hey, there, squeeze box.
1497
01:29:32,815 --> 01:29:35,128
I knew that I had to
give up my dream
1498
01:29:35,266 --> 01:29:38,200
and go back to the only life
that I'd ever known.
1499
01:29:38,338 --> 01:29:40,961
But when I tried to come back
to the Amish community,
1500
01:29:41,099 --> 01:29:43,654
well, the second they
saw that squeeze box,
1501
01:29:43,792 --> 01:29:46,519
I was immediately excommunicated,
1502
01:29:46,657 --> 01:29:48,624
banished forever.
1503
01:29:48,762 --> 01:29:50,833
My whole world
was torn away from me.
1504
01:29:50,971 --> 01:29:52,904
All I knew was
I never wanted to see
1505
01:29:53,042 --> 01:29:56,839
another accordion again,
for as long as I lived.
1506
01:29:56,977 --> 01:29:59,290
So I got a job at the factory,
1507
01:29:59,428 --> 01:30:03,121
a place where I knew you could
get an honest day's wages
1508
01:30:03,259 --> 01:30:05,123
for an honest day's work.
1509
01:30:05,261 --> 01:30:07,056
And that's when I met...
1510
01:30:08,195 --> 01:30:09,921
the true love of my life.
1511
01:30:11,164 --> 01:30:12,821
Your mother.
1512
01:30:12,959 --> 01:30:14,339
Wow.
1513
01:30:14,478 --> 01:30:17,446
Dad, I--I never knew.
1514
01:30:19,310 --> 01:30:21,933
Of course you didn't.
How could you? I just told you.
1515
01:30:22,071 --> 01:30:25,040
I just-- The whole
story was about--
1516
01:30:25,178 --> 01:30:29,562
Anyway, look, son, I hope
that you can forgive me
1517
01:30:29,700 --> 01:30:31,598
and I hope you understand.
1518
01:30:33,358 --> 01:30:34,843
I lost everything
1519
01:30:34,981 --> 01:30:38,674
and I didn't want you
to suffer the same sad fate.
1520
01:30:40,883 --> 01:30:42,920
I didn't want you
to get your dreams crushed,
1521
01:30:43,058 --> 01:30:46,510
so I thought I should
crush your ideas
1522
01:30:46,648 --> 01:30:48,788
before they could
turn into dreams.
1523
01:30:51,825 --> 01:30:54,656
Yeah, that makes sense.
1524
01:30:56,865 --> 01:30:58,832
Oh.
1525
01:30:58,970 --> 01:31:01,732
Oh, that's nothing. You can just
throw that thing out, that's--
1526
01:31:01,870 --> 01:31:03,423
-"Amish Paradise?"
- Nope.
1527
01:31:03,561 --> 01:31:04,907
Just tear that up in little
pieces and get rid of that.
1528
01:31:05,045 --> 01:31:08,186
Wait, Dad...
are these song lyrics?
1529
01:31:08,324 --> 01:31:10,050
That's just something stupid
I wrote a while ago.
1530
01:31:10,188 --> 01:31:11,776
It doesn't matter.
You can just--
1531
01:31:11,914 --> 01:31:14,572
No, no, no, Dad, these lyrics...
1532
01:31:15,918 --> 01:31:18,990
they're like a window
into your soul.
1533
01:31:19,128 --> 01:31:21,061
I don't think I've ever felt
more connected to you than this
1534
01:31:21,199 --> 01:31:22,925
in my entire life.
1535
01:31:25,997 --> 01:31:28,275
Well, I never had the chance
to perform it myself
1536
01:31:28,413 --> 01:31:30,795
because the dream
had already died.
1537
01:31:30,933 --> 01:31:34,661
I thought maybe someday,
but no, never mind.
1538
01:31:34,799 --> 01:31:39,010
Never mind. I guess no one
will ever hear this song.
1539
01:31:42,566 --> 01:31:46,052
That's it! That's it!
1540
01:31:46,190 --> 01:31:47,709
Mom!
1541
01:31:47,847 --> 01:31:49,780
What did you say like
a minute ago, about being fat?
1542
01:31:49,918 --> 01:31:51,229
We're onto something else now.
1543
01:31:51,367 --> 01:31:53,369
We were kind of having
a moment here, son.
1544
01:31:53,508 --> 01:31:54,957
Read the room.
1545
01:31:55,095 --> 01:31:57,788
Yeah, I mean, I wrote the book
and did the whole thing.
1546
01:31:57,926 --> 01:31:59,306
- Alfy!
- The drawing.
1547
01:31:59,444 --> 01:32:00,791
Listen to your father
when he's talking!
1548
01:32:00,929 --> 01:32:02,551
Does anything register with you?
1549
01:32:02,689 --> 01:32:05,658
Can you see my lips moving?
Nothing gets through to you.
1550
01:32:05,796 --> 01:32:07,901
♪ We been spendin'
Most our lives ♪
1551
01:32:08,039 --> 01:32:11,111
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1552
01:32:11,249 --> 01:32:13,597
♪ I've churned butter
Once or twice ♪
1553
01:32:13,735 --> 01:32:16,876
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1554
01:32:17,014 --> 01:32:19,326
♪ It's hard work
And sacrifice ♪
1555
01:32:19,464 --> 01:32:22,951
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1556
01:32:23,089 --> 01:32:25,747
♪ We sell quilts
At discount price ♪
1557
01:32:25,885 --> 01:32:28,439
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1558
01:32:28,577 --> 01:32:31,615
♪ Hitchin' up the buggy
Churnin' lots of butter ♪
1559
01:32:31,753 --> 01:32:34,307
♪ Raised a barn on Monday
Soon I'll raise another ♪
1560
01:32:34,445 --> 01:32:36,033
♪ Think you're really
Righteous? ♪
1561
01:32:36,171 --> 01:32:38,173
♪ Think you're pure in heart? ♪
1562
01:32:38,311 --> 01:32:40,382
♪ Well, I know I'm a million
Times as humble as thou art ♪
1563
01:32:40,520 --> 01:32:41,901
♪ I'm the pious guy ♪
1564
01:32:42,039 --> 01:32:43,385
♪ The little Amlettes
Wanna be like ♪
1565
01:32:43,523 --> 01:32:44,869
♪ On my knees day and night ♪
1566
01:32:45,007 --> 01:32:46,526
♪ Scorin' points
For the afterlife ♪
1567
01:32:46,664 --> 01:32:48,424
♪ So don't be vain
And don't be whiny ♪
1568
01:32:48,563 --> 01:32:50,185
♪ Or else, my brother ♪
1569
01:32:50,323 --> 01:32:52,118
♪ I might have to get
Medieval on your heinie ♪
1570
01:32:52,256 --> 01:32:54,810
♪ We been spendin'
Most our lives ♪
1571
01:32:54,948 --> 01:32:58,020
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1572
01:32:58,158 --> 01:33:00,091
♪ We're all crazy Mennonites ♪
1573
01:33:00,229 --> 01:33:01,783
♪ Livin' in an
Amish paradise... ♪
1574
01:33:01,921 --> 01:33:03,888
Man, I shoulda kept
the publishing rights.
1575
01:33:04,026 --> 01:33:06,063
♪ There's no cops
Or traffic lights ♪
1576
01:33:06,201 --> 01:33:09,445
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1577
01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:12,379
♪ But you'd probably
Think it bites ♪
1578
01:33:12,517 --> 01:33:15,520
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1579
01:33:20,077 --> 01:33:21,009
Yecch!
1580
01:33:34,229 --> 01:33:36,680
It is so good to
have you back, man.
1581
01:33:36,818 --> 01:33:38,440
Yeah, I was starting
to miss the weird one.
1582
01:33:38,578 --> 01:33:41,616
Oh, I cannot believe
I ever said that to you guys.
1583
01:33:41,754 --> 01:33:42,824
I am so, so sorry.
1584
01:33:42,962 --> 01:33:44,411
Hey, you're an artist.
1585
01:33:44,549 --> 01:33:46,724
Being an abusive jerk
is all part of the process.
1586
01:33:46,862 --> 01:33:48,553
Yeah, name me one
creative genius
1587
01:33:48,692 --> 01:33:50,176
that doesn't have
a checkered past
1588
01:33:50,314 --> 01:33:52,903
involving drugs, alcohol
and a murderous rampage
1589
01:33:53,041 --> 01:33:54,629
through the heart of the jungle.
1590
01:33:54,767 --> 01:33:57,217
Yeah, I guess you're right.
1591
01:33:57,355 --> 01:33:59,116
I love you guys so much!
1592
01:34:00,600 --> 01:34:02,775
Yeah, yeah. See you out there.
1593
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:07,503
Dr. D, you came!
1594
01:34:07,642 --> 01:34:10,196
Of course I came. I wouldn't
have missed it for the world.
1595
01:34:10,334 --> 01:34:12,681
And well, needless to say,
you were amazing.
1596
01:34:12,819 --> 01:34:15,166
Thank you. And I-I also,
1597
01:34:15,304 --> 01:34:17,652
I really wanna say
the way I treated you--
1598
01:34:17,790 --> 01:34:19,826
Stop. I'm gonna stop you
right there, okay?
1599
01:34:19,964 --> 01:34:21,345
No apologies necessary.
1600
01:34:21,483 --> 01:34:23,761
I have been thinking
a lot about what you said,
1601
01:34:23,899 --> 01:34:26,833
and I realized, Al, that...
1602
01:34:29,249 --> 01:34:32,736
you are like a son
to me and, uh...
1603
01:34:32,874 --> 01:34:36,394
Well, I never really had any
children of my own, so, uh...
1604
01:34:42,746 --> 01:34:44,299
I want to adopt you.
1605
01:34:49,373 --> 01:34:50,926
Will you be my son?
1606
01:34:52,479 --> 01:34:54,136
Wow.
1607
01:34:54,274 --> 01:34:59,383
Um, you-- I--I just
made up with my dad.
1608
01:35:01,454 --> 01:35:02,593
You d--You did?
1609
01:35:02,731 --> 01:35:04,112
- Yeah.
- That's, wow. Okay.
1610
01:35:04,250 --> 01:35:05,596
Yeah. So yeah, we-we talked.
1611
01:35:05,734 --> 01:35:07,840
- Wow.
- We're-we're all good now.
1612
01:35:07,978 --> 01:35:09,151
Cool, the coolest. that's great.
1613
01:35:09,289 --> 01:35:11,222
- That's great.
- It is great.
1614
01:35:11,360 --> 01:35:12,707
Oh, good!
1615
01:35:12,845 --> 01:35:13,708
- Yeah.
- Cool.
1616
01:35:13,846 --> 01:35:15,157
Wow, that's so cool.
1617
01:35:15,295 --> 01:35:17,228
That's really cool.
That's so cool.
1618
01:35:17,366 --> 01:35:19,472
My-- my category
is coming up really soon,
1619
01:35:19,610 --> 01:35:21,301
I think, so I should
probably go change?
1620
01:35:21,439 --> 01:35:22,889
You should--oh, you
should go. Yeah, definitely.
1621
01:35:23,027 --> 01:35:24,408
It's so good to see you.
1622
01:35:24,546 --> 01:35:26,306
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Okay.
1623
01:35:26,444 --> 01:35:29,585
- So good. Take care.
- All right.
1624
01:35:36,144 --> 01:35:37,732
Please welcome to the stage
1625
01:35:37,870 --> 01:35:39,595
Grammy Award winner
Diana Ross
1626
01:35:39,734 --> 01:35:44,428
and Intercontinental
WWF Champion Hulk Hogan.
1627
01:35:44,566 --> 01:35:47,672
As artists, we learn
to express ourselves
1628
01:35:47,811 --> 01:35:49,433
through our instruments.
1629
01:35:49,571 --> 01:35:53,817
Louis Armstrong had his trumpet
and Jimi Hendrix had his guitar.
1630
01:35:53,955 --> 01:35:56,854
And well, my instrument
is my voice.
1631
01:36:00,582 --> 01:36:02,032
That's right, Diana.
1632
01:36:02,170 --> 01:36:05,138
And my instruments
are these 24-inch pythons.
1633
01:36:05,276 --> 01:36:08,728
- Whoo!
1634
01:36:08,866 --> 01:36:12,939
No, no, Mary.
That's an oily man.
1635
01:36:15,148 --> 01:36:18,945
And now, the award
you've all been waiting for.
1636
01:36:19,083 --> 01:36:22,431
In the category of "Perhaps
Not Technically the Best
1637
01:36:22,569 --> 01:36:25,814
But Arguably the Most
Famous Accordion Player
1638
01:36:25,952 --> 01:36:29,645
in an Extremely
Specific Genre of Music."
1639
01:36:29,784 --> 01:36:31,647
And the award goes to...
1640
01:36:40,277 --> 01:36:42,451
"Weird Al" Yankovic!
1641
01:37:09,754 --> 01:37:12,171
Oh, thank you.
1642
01:37:12,309 --> 01:37:15,864
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, this is incredible.
1643
01:37:16,002 --> 01:37:17,762
This award means so much to me,
1644
01:37:17,901 --> 01:37:20,627
and in front of all
the billions of people watching
1645
01:37:20,765 --> 01:37:25,184
around the world right now,
all I want to say is...
1646
01:37:25,322 --> 01:37:27,634
See, Dad? I told you!
1647
01:37:27,772 --> 01:37:30,051
Yeah! In your face, old man!
1648
01:37:30,189 --> 01:37:33,433
- Huh?
1649
01:37:33,571 --> 01:37:38,024
There are so many people here
tonight that I need to thank.
1650
01:37:38,162 --> 01:37:41,683
People who mean the world to me
and who made me
1651
01:37:41,821 --> 01:37:43,892
everything that I am today.
1652
01:37:44,030 --> 01:37:45,480
But they know who they are,
1653
01:37:45,618 --> 01:37:48,966
and I'm gonna
thank them all later privately.
1654
01:37:49,104 --> 01:37:51,900
Okay, I'm just gonna
wrap things up.
1655
01:37:52,038 --> 01:37:53,557
I don't have much time left.
1656
01:37:53,695 --> 01:37:56,905
I-- Y'know, I'm gonna be around
for a good long time.
1657
01:37:57,043 --> 01:37:58,907
You don't have to
worry about that.
1658
01:37:59,045 --> 01:38:01,254
You're not gonna get rid of me
that easy.
1659
01:38:05,500 --> 01:38:08,675
- Waiting on your signal.
- Stand by.
1660
01:38:08,813 --> 01:38:13,025
But in my remaining few seconds,
I just wanna say...
1661
01:38:14,992 --> 01:38:17,201
live the life you wanna live.
1662
01:38:17,339 --> 01:38:20,204
You know, be as weird
as you wanna be.
1663
01:38:20,342 --> 01:38:23,035
Believe me, you will never
find true happiness
1664
01:38:23,173 --> 01:38:27,211
until you can truly
accept who you are.
1665
01:38:27,349 --> 01:38:31,043
And standing before all of you,
right here, right now,
1666
01:38:31,181 --> 01:38:35,702
I can honestly say I have
never been more happy
1667
01:38:35,840 --> 01:38:39,396
or more proud in my entire life.
1668
01:38:40,949 --> 01:38:42,123
Thank you.
1669
01:38:56,931 --> 01:38:59,347
Thank you! Thank you!
1670
01:39:05,940 --> 01:39:07,493
Take the shot.
1671
01:39:13,775 --> 01:39:16,157
No!
1672
01:42:19,133 --> 01:42:23,654
♪ You thought you knew me?
Well, you better guess again ♪
1673
01:42:23,792 --> 01:42:26,485
♪ Now you know
The whole story ♪
1674
01:42:26,623 --> 01:42:28,935
♪ Now you've heard it all
My friend ♪
1675
01:42:29,073 --> 01:42:34,803
♪ You know all my dirty secrets
'Cause we spilled all the tea ♪
1676
01:42:34,941 --> 01:42:37,461
♪ There's nothin' left to hide
Baby ♪
1677
01:42:37,599 --> 01:42:41,465
♪ How you like the real me? ♪
1678
01:42:41,603 --> 01:42:46,643
♪ Yeah, the truth came out
We finally removed all doubt ♪
1679
01:42:46,781 --> 01:42:51,026
♪ If it's in a movie
It's gotta be true ♪
1680
01:42:51,165 --> 01:42:52,476
♪ Aw, yeah ♪
1681
01:42:52,614 --> 01:42:54,720
♪ If you never knew it before ♪
1682
01:42:54,858 --> 01:42:57,136
♪ You don't have
To wonder anymore ♪
1683
01:42:57,274 --> 01:43:01,796
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1684
01:43:03,556 --> 01:43:05,558
♪ Thought I oughta tell ya so ♪
1685
01:43:05,696 --> 01:43:07,629
♪ I shoulda done it long ago ♪
1686
01:43:07,767 --> 01:43:13,566
♪ But now you know
Now, now you know ♪
1687
01:43:13,704 --> 01:43:16,466
♪ Yeah, that's how it all
Went down, bro ♪
1688
01:43:16,604 --> 01:43:19,089
♪ We've proof-checked
Every fact ♪
1689
01:43:19,227 --> 01:43:22,265
♪ If you still
Don't believe it ♪
1690
01:43:22,403 --> 01:43:25,337
♪ Well
No skin off my back ♪
1691
01:43:25,475 --> 01:43:27,649
♪ Just don't call me a liar ♪
1692
01:43:27,787 --> 01:43:30,411
♪ 'Cause shut up
You weren't there ♪
1693
01:43:30,549 --> 01:43:33,552
♪ This movie is now canon ♪
1694
01:43:33,690 --> 01:43:37,107
♪ Every word is true, I swear ♪
1695
01:43:37,245 --> 01:43:39,040
♪ We only changed one thing ♪
1696
01:43:39,178 --> 01:43:42,561
♪ I really did play
Live Aid with Queen ♪
1697
01:43:42,699 --> 01:43:45,426
♪ And I blew 'em off
The freakin' stage ♪
1698
01:43:45,564 --> 01:43:48,014
♪ That's right ♪
1699
01:43:48,152 --> 01:43:50,500
♪ If you never knew it before ♪
1700
01:43:50,638 --> 01:43:52,502
♪ You don't have
To wonder anymore ♪
1701
01:43:52,640 --> 01:43:57,300
♪ 'Cause now you know
Now you know ♪
1702
01:43:59,163 --> 01:44:01,165
♪ Thought I oughta tell ya so ♪
1703
01:44:01,304 --> 01:44:03,098
♪ I shoulda done it long ago ♪
1704
01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:08,483
♪ But now you know
Now, now you know ♪
1705
01:44:21,841 --> 01:44:23,809
♪ Aw, what a wild ride ♪
1706
01:44:23,947 --> 01:44:27,261
♪ How about that part
Where I died? ♪
1707
01:44:27,399 --> 01:44:30,436
♪ I was not expecting that! ♪
1708
01:44:32,162 --> 01:44:35,441
♪ But I'm back, baby ♪
1709
01:44:35,579 --> 01:44:40,377
♪ Here to wreak my zombie
Apocalypse upon you all ♪
1710
01:44:40,515 --> 01:44:45,451
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1711
01:44:45,589 --> 01:44:47,488
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1712
01:44:47,626 --> 01:44:49,352
♪ You know it ♪
1713
01:44:49,490 --> 01:44:51,388
♪ And the union-scale
Background singers sing ♪
1714
01:44:51,526 --> 01:44:56,531
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1715
01:44:56,669 --> 01:44:58,602
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1716
01:44:58,740 --> 01:45:01,536
♪ No fabrications
No exaggerations ♪
1717
01:45:01,674 --> 01:45:03,227
♪ It's the gospel truth ♪
1718
01:45:03,366 --> 01:45:07,508
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1719
01:45:07,646 --> 01:45:10,407
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1720
01:45:10,545 --> 01:45:13,755
♪ Startin' to feel like this
Song is slightly repetitive ♪
1721
01:45:13,893 --> 01:45:18,622
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1722
01:45:18,760 --> 01:45:21,970
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1723
01:45:31,359 --> 01:45:32,843
Wow, fake-out ending!
1724
01:45:32,981 --> 01:45:37,779
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1725
01:45:37,917 --> 01:45:40,057
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1726
01:45:40,195 --> 01:45:42,577
♪ Look at all these people
In the credits ♪
1727
01:45:42,715 --> 01:45:44,441
♪ We had to pay 'em all ♪
1728
01:45:44,579 --> 01:45:48,445
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1729
01:45:48,583 --> 01:45:50,516
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1730
01:45:50,654 --> 01:45:52,276
♪ Oh hey, I remember him ♪
1731
01:45:52,415 --> 01:45:55,210
♪ Met him on the set
Seemed like a really nice guy ♪
1732
01:45:55,349 --> 01:45:59,560
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1733
01:45:59,698 --> 01:46:01,493
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1734
01:46:01,631 --> 01:46:04,358
♪ All these songs were in
The movie you just watched ♪
1735
01:46:04,496 --> 01:46:05,945
♪ Including this one ♪
1736
01:46:06,083 --> 01:46:10,709
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1737
01:46:24,654 --> 01:46:28,727
Awwwwww, double fake-out!
1738
01:46:28,865 --> 01:46:32,903
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1739
01:46:33,041 --> 01:46:35,147
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1740
01:46:35,285 --> 01:46:38,806
♪ This song just keeps goin' on
And on and on and on and on ♪
1741
01:46:38,944 --> 01:46:43,535
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1742
01:46:43,673 --> 01:46:46,227
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1743
01:46:46,365 --> 01:46:49,610
♪ Seriously, how many more
Credits can there be? ♪
1744
01:46:49,748 --> 01:46:54,166
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1745
01:46:54,304 --> 01:46:56,030
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1746
01:46:56,168 --> 01:46:58,481
♪ This song
Is technically eligible ♪
1747
01:46:58,619 --> 01:47:00,552
♪ For Oscar consideration ♪
1748
01:47:00,690 --> 01:47:05,453
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1749
01:47:05,591 --> 01:47:07,490
♪ Now you know ♪