1 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:41,608 Los Angeles late at night is pretty much like any big American city late at night. 2 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,986 At 2.00 am people are either making a mess or cleaning it up. 3 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:50,492 Tonight's my night to do the cleaning up. My name, most of the time, is Irwin Fletcher. 4 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:54,928 I write under the name of Jane Doe. That's the kind of gal I am. 5 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,249 This Greek seafood house is part of a successful chain. 6 00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,669 But, believe me, it's not because of the food. 7 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:05,939 - 113,000 from basketball. - List it as codfish. 8 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,887 120,000 from the Gonzalez fight. 9 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:15,725 That includes 60 from our chain in the Valley. 10 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:19,396 Twenty from Long Beach. 120 total. 11 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,565 Put that under halibut. 12 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:27,237 - 180,000 from the track. - Scrod. 13 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:30,043 We already got over two million in scrod this month? 14 00:01:30,143 --> 00:01:32,277 Scrod's making a comeback, all right? 15 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,161 How are you listing my stake? 16 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:39,473 - Breakage. - $75,000 worth of breakage? 17 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,758 We're Greeks! We dance, we break plates, we're clumsy! 18 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:52,095 Boys, boys, stop it. We gotta be cross town in 30 minutes. 19 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,763 - You wanna wash up? - Naw. 20 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:57,142 My wife gets suspicious if I don't smell like fish. 21 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,310 Al got it. You get the lights. 22 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:02,022 - Where's Poppa? - In the back. 23 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,293 Tell him to snap it up I'll meet him in the car. 24 00:02:04,393 --> 00:02:06,542 - Phil, I'll drop you first. - You better. 25 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,545 - Hi. - What's your name, little lady? 26 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:30,717 My name? Peggy Lee... Zorba. Peggy Lee Zorba. 27 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:35,055 - You're cute! - Do you mind if I freshen up a bit? 28 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:41,227 - Splash a little water on my face. - Whatever makes you feel sexy. 29 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,645 Okay. 30 00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:45,372 Just wait outside. I'll be right out. 31 00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,298 What the hell was that? 32 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,926 - If it's a cop, kill him. - Hi. Mary Poppins! 33 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,152 If it's a reporter, cripple him. 34 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:36,282 - You're never driving again! - I just did what you told me to do. 35 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:39,134 - There's a new thing called brakes! - Shut up! 36 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:48,586 Good. Brilliant as usual, Fletch. We'll run it in the next edition. 37 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:52,507 - Great. See you in two weeks. - Er, Fletch, there's... 38 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:57,178 "Er, Fletch"? Frank, I see a double-cross in your eyes. 39 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,222 You promised me a vacation, and I'll take it. 40 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:03,434 - Right after the sewer story. - What? You can't do this to me. 41 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:07,105 I spent eight nights on my knees dressed like Dolly Parton at a funeral. 42 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,525 I got felt up. I got dishpan hands and sore knees! 43 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,319 Three guys tried to kill me. Do you give a crap? 44 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,947 - You promised me a vacation! - You'll get one. 45 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:19,159 - After the sewer system exposé. - You owe me a vacation! 46 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,244 - In July. - That's two months. 47 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,621 A great reporter knows the facts. 48 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:27,542 By the way, the news computer disallowed your undocumented expenses. 49 00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:31,379 - It'll come out of this week's pay. - You can't do that. 50 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:35,899 There's nothing I can do about it. It's all done automatically. 51 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,834 On top of everything else, I think I'm getting my period. 52 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:24,390 No wonder I got a fumigation alert. How'd you get in here? 53 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,935 The window was open. 54 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:30,563 I knocked, and I could swear I heard you say, "Come in". 55 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:35,985 You know how to cover your ass, Gillet. Although those pants are a mistake. 56 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:40,323 You owe me $4,381 in back alimony. 57 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,424 What? I was married to you? 58 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:48,373 You're right. I've been foolishly squandering my salary on food and heat. 59 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,376 You have one week to comply with Judge Proctor's orders. 60 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:55,004 Payment in full. Otherwise you go to jail. 61 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,674 Wendy doesn't need the money. 62 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:03,054 I hear she's been banging some balding, wimpy lawyer who can't get it up. 63 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,723 - May I see that? - Be my guest. 64 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:08,518 Nice briefcase. Couldn't guess your weight? 65 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,728 Oh! I'm sorry. I got it. 66 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,147 Never mind, I'll take care of it. 67 00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:16,276 Look at this. A note from the Oakwood Potency Clinic. 68 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:21,239 "Sorry to inform you, we cannot process sperm counts as low as yours." 69 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,533 - Here we are. What about this? - Be careful! 70 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,244 Uh-oh! I am terribly sorry! 71 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,246 - You did that intentionally. - I did not. 72 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,873 - That was good juice too. - Leave it alone. 73 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:34,043 - I got an idea. My mistake. - Where are you going? 74 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:36,754 My mess. I'll clean it up. 75 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,923 - What are you doing? - What's this? 76 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,385 You are damaging personal property and I'm gonna... 77 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:45,987 The ink is running. I didn't expect that. 78 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:50,560 There we are! Clean as a whistle. 79 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:54,939 - Thanks for coming by, Marvin. - Expect to hear from my lawyer. 80 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:59,277 Oh, Gillet, one more thing. Come back here. It's very important. 81 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:03,614 They do a thing now where they make an incision and push the hair together. 82 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:08,844 Or try a transplant. Maybe the hair from your ass. Might make you smarter. Bye. 83 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:13,291 Betty, how 'bout lunch at the In-N-Out Burger? 84 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,959 I'm not hungry. 85 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,628 Forget the burger. How about just the "In and Out"? 86 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,188 Very well. How about just the "in"? 87 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,912 Fletch, answer your phone. 88 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,740 In-N-Out Burger. May I take your order, please? 89 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:50,161 Mr. Fletcher? This is Amanda Ray Ross. I represented your Aunt Belle Fletcher. 90 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,747 Good ol' Aunt Belle. How the hell is she? 91 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:56,250 - She's deceased, Mr. Fletcher. - I guess she could be better. 92 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,835 You're hard to find. 93 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,213 I was touring with the Stones. How can I help? 94 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,215 - Didn't you get my message? - No. 95 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,050 I'm the executor of your aunt's will. 96 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:08,320 You are the major beneficiary of your aunt's estate, Belle Isle. 97 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:13,309 About this expense. $58 for leg waxing? That's bullshit. 98 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,686 Yeah, but feel how smooth they are. 99 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:18,981 It consists of 80 acres of old plantation. 100 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:22,735 - Wait. Did you say plantation? - Yes, indeed. 101 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,737 - She left it to me? - According to her will. 102 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:28,825 - Can I get back to you? - Hair by Ziggy? Who's Ziggy? 103 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:33,121 5-0-4... Shut up, Frank. Yeah. I'll get right back to you. 104 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:36,165 Can't we return some of it? What about the lingerie? 105 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:39,210 - I ate it. - Be serious for one minute. 106 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,920 I quit. 107 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,756 I'm not unreasonable about legitimate expenses. 108 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,300 - Now, the sewer story... - I quit, Frank. 109 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,429 I'm gonna advance you for the hip boots and wet suit. 110 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,030 Frank, I'm really quitting. 111 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,893 Fletch, look, I got a little A-frame up at Arrowhead. 112 00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:58,938 Why don't you go there, take a couple of weeks, relax? 113 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,623 I'm really gonna miss you. 114 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,693 Maybe that's an overstatement. 115 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,988 Treat this as good news. You can write my Jane Doe column. 116 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,699 You're not gonna quit. I'll tell you why. 117 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,993 - Why? - You have journalistic integrity. 118 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:12,910 Yeah. 119 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:17,206 And you have a sense of loyalty. You'll never give up the quest for truth. 120 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,916 You're right. 121 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:22,879 I can't abandon the principles that nurtured me lo these many years. 122 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:27,383 Wrap them up with the shit on my desk and ship them to my Louisiana mansion. 123 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,025 Bye. 124 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,762 What happened? 125 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:36,658 My husband said I was crazy to go 2,000 miles to have my nose done. 126 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:41,814 That's an interesting watch. Is it a prize of some sort? 127 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,709 - No. - It certainly looks like one. 128 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,989 It's a championship Laker watch. 129 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,617 Oh! Are you a Laker? 130 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:57,178 I used to date one. Only thing I have to remember him by. 131 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,672 Lord, what was that? 132 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,609 We just clipped a Piper Cub. The pilot's okay. I just saw him parachuting. 133 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:17,782 I love a man with a sense of humor. What did you say your name was? 134 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,270 Nostradamus. 135 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,731 I'm Cindy Mae Sample. 136 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,735 Nostradamus... I love the Fightin' Irish. 137 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:31,697 Lord, I hate to fly. I wish I was gettin' off in Thibodaux like you. 138 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:36,843 It's two more stops to Selma. All those ups and downs and ups and downs. 139 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:44,684 You should try holding your breath. Sometimes that works. 140 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,149 Belle Isle... 141 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,368 Belle Isle... 142 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,725 Thank you, Betty Lee. 143 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:31,465 Look, Colonel, the folks have come to serenade you. 144 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:35,360 - They love you so much. - And I love them too. 145 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,239 Give me that, boy! 146 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,107 - Thank you, sir. - Quiet down. 147 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,817 - Uncle Frank? - Yes, sir? 148 00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:50,985 Yes, sir? 149 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:55,573 - You know my favorite tune. - Sure do, Colonel. 150 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,993 Would you mind if I sat in your lap, Colonel? 151 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,662 Please do, Betty Lee. Please do. 152 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,999 The field hands would like to dance for you. 153 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,126 Dance for me? 154 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:10,087 Why, I'll dance for them! 155 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:11,688 Yes, sir! 156 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,618 You bet! 157 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,530 You made it, Mr. Notre Dame. 158 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,023 Mr. Fletcher. 159 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,483 - Yeah? - I'm Amanda Ray Ross. 160 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:16,404 - I spoke with you on the phone. - Oh, yes. That was you? 161 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,489 Great. 162 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,716 - Do you have any luggage? - Just one piece. 163 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,173 Plannin' on stayin' long? 164 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:40,276 Just long enough to see Mount Rushmore and squeeze in a little ice fishing. 165 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,559 I'm on the board of the Pontchartrain Society. 166 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,911 We help preserve and restore some of these lovely mansions. 167 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,820 We headed to Belle Isle? 168 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,532 - You must be dying to see it, Mr. Fletcher. - Call me Fletch. 169 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:05,286 Your house is not as grand as some others in the neighborhood. 170 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:09,097 It doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts. Eighty acres? 171 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,935 Isn't it strikin'? 172 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:20,108 Your aunt tried to keep things in their natural state. 173 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:24,305 She ever brush her hair? 174 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,475 - I can see you're disappointed. - No, not at all! 175 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:31,995 A little spackling and some napalm, this place would make a nice mausoleum. 176 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,410 - That's nice... - Oh, my God! Are you all right? 177 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:51,123 Oh! I was aimin' to fix that today. How do you do? 178 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:54,919 I be Calculus Entterby. You be Mr. and Mrs. Fletcher? 179 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:59,632 I be Fletch. Geometry Fletch. She be Miss Trigonometry Ross. 180 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:04,220 Pleased, I'm sure. Your Aunt Belle told me you'd be takin' over the place... 181 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,446 and I'm extendin' my "condulations". 182 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,654 Right. You work here? 183 00:15:10,754 --> 00:15:13,468 Your Aunt Belle and I, we had an arrangement. 184 00:15:13,568 --> 00:15:17,316 And I was hopin' we could make an extenuation of it. 185 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:21,836 Help me get your stuff out the car here. Come on. 186 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,241 You mind your step. 187 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,618 Our families go back hundreds of years. 188 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:32,957 Your great grandparents owned my great grandparents. That's how it all started. 189 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,142 Ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation? 190 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,902 I heard somethin' about it, but I don't recall exactly. 191 00:15:40,002 --> 00:15:42,758 It didn't get much publicity around these parts. 192 00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:45,568 - I'll bet. - Excuse me, sir. 193 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,988 Could you give me a hand? 194 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,910 Just pull it towards you. Just pull it. 195 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:59,316 Come on, come on. Just pull it. Just pull it on over. That's it. 196 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,318 Don't scar the car. 197 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:04,113 Is there any electricity or gas? 198 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:08,075 - Everything works. - No cable TV, I guess? 199 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:12,955 If I'd known, I'd have straightened out a bit and stocked your refrigerator. 200 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,041 - No food? - No refrigerator. 201 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:19,128 We need to do some paperwork. Want a lift into town? 202 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,798 - And leave my estate unattended? - It's not yours till you sign. 203 00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:26,677 I can make you some dinner. Ease the culture shock. 204 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,804 That sounds great. 205 00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:32,016 - Should I be doin' anything? - No, not really. 206 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:35,227 After you get that trunk upstairs and finish your nap... 207 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:39,607 you could fix that step and jump down, turn around and pick a bale of cotton. 208 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:43,501 While I'm gone, see to it Miss Scarlett stays away from the Union Army. 209 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,700 More wine? 210 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,328 You trying to take advantage of me? 211 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:56,055 Not yet. You need to sign these papers. 212 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,312 - Do you mind if I read 'em first? - Be my guest. 213 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,216 Had you talked to your aunt recently? 214 00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:10,653 That depends on your view of history. It's been 16 years. 215 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,141 - Sign all three? - Please. 216 00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:18,119 I just wondered. She changed her will three weeks before she died. 217 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,983 Well, lucky for me. Why'd she do that? 218 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:27,295 I don't know. She was old. Seemed to be under a lot of strain. 219 00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:32,258 Dying always does that to you. 220 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:38,082 Congratulations. You know, you can make yourself some good money out of this. 221 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:42,753 A realtor contacted me with an unusually high offer. 225,000. 222 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:43,811 Dollars? 223 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,510 Let me ask you this. 224 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,721 Don't you think if I wait a little longer, they might go up? 225 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,100 - They might. - And I just got here, didn't I? 226 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,992 No sale? 227 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,692 While you're thinking, what are you gonna do with the land? 228 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,777 I don't know. Raise chitlins... 229 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,321 The chitlin' market as high as it is. 230 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,508 They're mean little animals, but their coats are worth a fortune. 231 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:20,056 $225,000? What do you think I oughta do? 232 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:25,937 If I were you, I would proceed slowly and carefully. 233 00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:29,925 That's my specialty. 234 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:33,095 - Would you like dessert? - What do you have in mind? 235 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:37,198 How 'bout something sweet... and Southern? 236 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,391 I used your toothbrush. 237 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:23,703 Would've used your razor, but it looks like you've been gardening with it. 238 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:28,583 Gee, I can't believe we slept this late. 239 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:33,337 Amanda? Want to drive me to Belle Isle? 240 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,386 I guess not. 241 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,105 It was good, but not that good. 242 00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:59,306 Morning, Mr. Fletcher. If that's your real name. I'm Billy Jo Hendrick. 243 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,406 Howdy. 244 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:06,647 - What's your relationship to Amanda Ray? - She was my attorney. 245 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:09,790 She was working on my briefs. 246 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,028 You come here, y'all just hit it off? 247 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,279 So to speak. 248 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,882 Sparks just flew. That's what you're gonna tell me. 249 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,594 Wonder why that never happens to me? 250 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,972 Wonder why. 251 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:31,354 Were y'all usin' some drugs you brought in from California by any chance? 252 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,357 Just some beaujolais. 253 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,310 Beaujolais? 254 00:20:36,410 --> 00:20:38,591 It's a pretty popular drug made from grapes? 255 00:20:38,691 --> 00:20:42,365 - You feel like makin' a statement? - A statement? 256 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:48,272 "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." 257 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:51,191 You wanna make it hard. 258 00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:55,362 Let's see how you feel after some time in the tank. 259 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:56,947 Y'all, come on. 260 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,824 - All of us? - Just you. 261 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:02,286 - What's the charge? - Pissin' me off. 262 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,720 - Felony or misdemeanor? - That's it! 263 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,795 You're cleaner than most of the ones we get. 264 00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:15,898 You smell nice. I expect you'll be popular. 265 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,760 You have to read me my rights. 266 00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:22,238 Or at least find someone who can read to do it for you. 267 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,872 A little gamey in here. Not much ventilation, huh? 268 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:36,210 How's the chow? 269 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:48,123 You know, you shouldn't wear so much eye make-up. It makes you look cheap. 270 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:50,876 You're sittin' on my bunk. 271 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:53,436 - Sorry. - Shut up! 272 00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:59,525 Take your pants off. 273 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:08,393 - Er... I don't even know your name. - Bend over. 274 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:11,521 Ben? Nice to meet you. Victor Hugo. 275 00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:15,484 You don't have a middle name, do you? Everybody else here seems to. 276 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:19,670 - What are you in for, Ben? - Molesting a dead horse. 277 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:23,200 Ooh, there's no crime in that. 278 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,828 That's your right as an American. I'm tryin' to cut down myself. 279 00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:31,833 His missus hit him on the head with a hammer whilst he was eatin' a sausage... 280 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:35,545 and almost choked him to death. 281 00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:41,859 Okay, beautiful, let's hope another long night in the tank has sobered you up. 282 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,572 Gunter? 283 00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:51,994 If I don't hear from you on Valentine's Day, I'll be disappointed. 284 00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:58,151 Mr. Johnson, I'm surprised to see you here. 285 00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:02,197 Judge Watkins usually assigns these small potatoes to Billy Ray. 286 00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:06,994 He's on vacation. This is the price I pay for the proximity of my office. 287 00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:09,011 Excuse me. Sir? 288 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:12,582 You don't have a card, do you? Or a price list? 289 00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:16,727 Well, matter of fact, I do. 290 00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,924 I'm Hamilton Johnson. I'm an attorney at law. 291 00:23:21,024 --> 00:23:24,970 You take cases or do you specialize in transvestite necrophiliacs? 292 00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,347 Not enough evidence to hold you. 293 00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:32,436 Just a form of intimidation putting you in a cell with that Neanderthal. 294 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,603 She wasn't so bad. 295 00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:36,231 If she'd just fix up her hair and shave her back. 296 00:23:36,331 --> 00:23:40,777 It's so embarrassin', this sort of thing still goes on in the new South. 297 00:23:40,877 --> 00:23:45,714 'Course, 20 years ago a Yankee like you could've been lyin' in the ditch. 298 00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:49,077 I'm assumin', of course, that... 299 00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:52,998 you had nothin' whatsoever to do with the death of Amanda Ray. 300 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:56,543 - Sure hope not. - Hop in. 301 00:23:56,643 --> 00:24:01,214 I was shocked to hear about this. She was such a dear friend. 302 00:24:01,314 --> 00:24:07,679 So tragic... when this happens to somebody so young and healthy. 303 00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:11,391 - Was she feelin' all right last night? - She felt great to me. 304 00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:14,410 Just smell that soft Southern air. 305 00:24:16,496 --> 00:24:20,734 It's so sad to see this beautiful pastoral countryside... 306 00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:25,030 blighted by the greed of a few men in pursuit of the almighty dollar. 307 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,823 That's my place over there. 308 00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:32,329 The trees just beyond it screen off the Bibleland Amusement Park in the daytime... 309 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:35,347 but at night, they make a hell of a racket. 310 00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:46,567 - Thanks for everything, Hamilton. - Most welcome. Just call me Ham. 311 00:24:47,110 --> 00:24:49,721 Ham, call me Fletch. 312 00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:54,450 All right, Fletch. Anything I can do to help ya. 313 00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:56,812 Fletch. 314 00:24:56,912 --> 00:25:00,857 - Might I give you some personal advice? - Is it free? 315 00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:05,278 To the sheriff and his sort of people, you're an outsider. 316 00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:07,614 Guilty in spite of the law. 317 00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:10,617 Should I get outta town before sundown? 318 00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:13,286 It's not that bad, but... 319 00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:17,082 if I were you, lookin' for peace and quiet... 320 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:20,961 Well, they can make it a might uncomfortable for ya. 321 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,755 - It's gonna take time. - Thanks, Ham. 322 00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:25,841 Bye. 323 00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:27,733 My pleasure. 324 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:31,195 Anything I can do for ya. 325 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:52,742 Welcome back. I thought you run off for good. 326 00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:54,411 Does this car run? 327 00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:58,790 Yeah, but Miss Belle stopped drivin' it when the brakes ran out. 328 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:01,751 I run a few errands from time to time... 329 00:26:01,851 --> 00:26:05,729 but if you wanna stop it, you got to think ahead. 330 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:11,318 Hmm. I finally got the place straightened out for you. 331 00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,097 When was that? Back in 1970? 332 00:26:14,197 --> 00:26:19,769 Your Aunt Belle, she lived in this one room. Didn't take up much space. 333 00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:21,480 Calculus? 334 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,956 You don't see a spider, do you? 335 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,777 Spiders is good. 336 00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:31,380 - They eats the cockroaches. - Yeah, sure they do. 337 00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:33,909 Mister Owl. 338 00:26:34,009 --> 00:26:37,454 This is more like it. This is what I came here for. 339 00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:41,082 Yes, sir. Peace and quiet. 340 00:26:41,182 --> 00:26:46,379 Scum, scum, scum! Go back to where you're from! 341 00:26:46,479 --> 00:26:48,924 - Friends of yours? - Nothin' to me. 342 00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:51,551 "The loyal sons of the... 343 00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:55,555 Buford, where's the cross. Did you bring the cross? 344 00:26:55,655 --> 00:27:01,285 "white race will not allow any kind of alien infection... 345 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:04,204 to invade our beloved land." 346 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:11,279 Scum, scum, scum. Go back to where you're from. 347 00:27:11,379 --> 00:27:15,700 Do it together. Scum, scum, scum. Go back... 348 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:20,247 Get the hell outta here and go home! Scum! Pigs! 349 00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:21,748 Sorry I'm late. 350 00:27:21,848 --> 00:27:24,918 - Who goes there? - Henry Himmler. 351 00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:28,421 - What Klavan claims you? - California Klavan, Cucamonga. 352 00:27:28,521 --> 00:27:30,298 California? 353 00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:33,802 I was passing through, lookin' for something to do. 354 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:36,221 There was nothing goin' on at the Rotary Club. 355 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:39,114 Welcome, Henry. I'm the Grand Kleagle. 356 00:27:46,873 --> 00:27:50,193 California thing. Pig-faced scum! 357 00:27:50,293 --> 00:27:54,281 - What's the occasion? - Some undesirable carpetbagger... 358 00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:55,532 I think. 359 00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:56,950 Damn! 360 00:27:57,050 --> 00:28:01,288 Boys, I just got a closer peek. There's nobody in there. 361 00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:03,889 We're wasting our time. 362 00:28:09,562 --> 00:28:12,648 And I washed all these sheets! 363 00:28:14,150 --> 00:28:18,221 - Who's this? - Oh. Sorry. Hi, fellas. Hank Himmler. 364 00:28:18,321 --> 00:28:20,140 - Hi, Hank. - How you doin'? 365 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:25,437 The cross won't burn, nobody home. Hell, it ain't like it used to be. 366 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:27,496 You said it. 367 00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:32,986 I couldn't get over 13 guys out tonight. Five of them are green recruits. 368 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:35,405 - Kinda stand-ins, you know what I mean? - Yeah. 369 00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:37,324 - We call 'em Klookies. - Klookies? 370 00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:38,841 Yeah. 371 00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:43,705 That's good, that's good! Of course, it's just a contract job. 372 00:28:43,805 --> 00:28:45,749 Yeah. Contract job? 373 00:28:45,849 --> 00:28:49,852 Yeah! We've been havin' a terrible time down here. We've had to rent out. 374 00:28:56,109 --> 00:28:58,193 Here I come! 375 00:29:01,823 --> 00:29:05,993 - Gene Hackman, kick your ass. - It's some kind of African dialect! 376 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:15,002 Hi. 377 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,423 Morning. 378 00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,967 - Mr. Fletcher? - As far as you know. 379 00:29:38,067 --> 00:29:41,612 I'm Becky Ann Culpepper. Thibodaux Realty. 380 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:45,892 I'd offer you some coffee and eggs Benedict, but we're all out of Benedict. 381 00:29:45,992 --> 00:29:50,146 - Thanks. I've already eaten. - What can I do to... for you? 382 00:29:50,246 --> 00:29:55,110 You may have heard that there's a party interested in acquiring your property. 383 00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:57,628 A substantial offer. 384 00:30:00,381 --> 00:30:03,759 - How substantial? - $250,000. 385 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:10,333 Phew! I don't know. I had big plans for this place. 386 00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:13,503 Mini mall with a yoghurt bar and a tanning parlor. 387 00:30:13,603 --> 00:30:16,798 Well, Mr. Fletcher, all I know is $250,000... 388 00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:20,760 is a mighty generous price for land in this area. 389 00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:24,931 - Who's your client? - I'm not at liberty to say. 390 00:30:25,031 --> 00:30:29,894 - Well, then I'm not at liberty to sell. - This is a tremendous opportunity. 391 00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:34,190 Tell you what. I'll consult with my people who'll contact their people... 392 00:30:34,290 --> 00:30:37,318 and they'll get in touch with your people. 393 00:30:37,418 --> 00:30:40,905 - Who are your people? - Who are yours? 394 00:30:41,005 --> 00:30:44,033 As I said, I have to keep that confidential. 395 00:30:44,133 --> 00:30:48,455 Very well. I'll just have my people contact each other. Keep 'em busy. 396 00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:51,833 All right. Well, just keep me in mind. Here's my card. 397 00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:53,767 Oh, I'll keep you in mind. 398 00:30:55,019 --> 00:30:58,089 Hope we can do this again sometime soon. 399 00:30:58,189 --> 00:31:00,274 In about 10 minutes? 400 00:31:10,159 --> 00:31:13,146 That night I decided to return to the scene of the crime. 401 00:31:13,246 --> 00:31:17,124 It let me check out my new car and practice my parallel parking. 402 00:31:27,176 --> 00:31:30,622 So far the only really good suspect in Amanda's death was me... 403 00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:33,640 and I was pretty sure that I didn't do it. 404 00:31:34,309 --> 00:31:36,377 Amanda knew more than she'd let on, 405 00:31:36,477 --> 00:31:38,963 but the only clue she'd left me was a reference to Aunt Belle 406 00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:41,732 changing her will just before she died. 407 00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:45,887 I knew the local police force was watching her place carefully... 408 00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:48,655 so there'd be no trouble getting in. 409 00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:53,394 Over the years I found Mr. Underhill's credit card to be a useful tool... 410 00:31:53,494 --> 00:31:55,829 much like Underhill himself. 411 00:32:09,802 --> 00:32:13,623 As usual, I was willing to risk my life to get a peek into a filing cabinet. 412 00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:18,378 I love them when they're unlocked, organized and tell me what I wanna know. 413 00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:20,213 Belle's legal files were in good order... 414 00:32:20,313 --> 00:32:23,607 with the exception of something missing under "Bluebird". 415 00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:28,555 She'd almost left Belle Isle to a minister. 416 00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:31,490 Obviously at one time he must have touched her deeply. 417 00:32:32,992 --> 00:32:37,788 I guess he didn't touch her deeply enough, or in the right place. 418 00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:48,616 Thank you very much. Couldn't find that light switch. 419 00:32:48,716 --> 00:32:50,785 What the hell you doin' here? This is a restricted area. 420 00:32:50,885 --> 00:32:56,791 - Didn't you see the sign? - Signs! All I see is signs. Look here. 421 00:32:56,891 --> 00:33:00,628 Stressed out "dormants", walls deplaning to an alarming degree. 422 00:33:00,728 --> 00:33:02,964 - Deplaning? - This house is infested... 423 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,466 - with reticulermes Mario Cuomos. - What's that? 424 00:33:05,566 --> 00:33:07,343 - What's what? - Well, reti... 425 00:33:07,443 --> 00:33:10,263 Reticulermes. You can't even say it yourself. 426 00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:13,558 They are deadly African microscopic termites. 427 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:17,145 They eat 100 times their weight in five minutes. 428 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:21,399 Much like yourself. This place is about ready to collapse. 429 00:33:21,499 --> 00:33:24,485 - Who are you? - Billie Jean King, Bug Busters. 430 00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:25,945 My van's parked out front. 431 00:33:26,045 --> 00:33:28,698 Mr. King, I don't know nothin' about no Bug Busters. 432 00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:33,301 The Surgeon General was right. They've been mighty busy here. 433 00:33:36,264 --> 00:33:39,266 The only time you can catch 'em is at night. 434 00:33:41,894 --> 00:33:44,380 Ah-ha! I got one! See that? 435 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,967 These little buggers are the piranhas of the insect world. 436 00:33:48,067 --> 00:33:50,678 - The also feed on human flesh. - Really? 437 00:33:50,778 --> 00:33:53,389 - You bet. - How do you know you got one? 438 00:33:53,489 --> 00:33:57,644 I'm glad I asked that question. They make this horrible high-pitched noise. 439 00:33:57,744 --> 00:34:02,106 It's kinda like a tiny little scream. Can you hear that? 440 00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:05,109 Can you hear that? Like a tiny little piglet. 441 00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:08,446 No? I seem to have dropped it in your ear. 442 00:34:08,546 --> 00:34:11,157 - You what? - That's all right. 443 00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:15,912 We better get that. Can't let that nest in there. They multiply by masturbation. 444 00:34:16,012 --> 00:34:18,957 The only way to get that out is to get close to the floor. 445 00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:22,460 Go on down. That's right. They're drawn to the floorboards. 446 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,421 Shake your head like you're trying to get water out. 447 00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:29,384 That's good. But hit it... No, this side. That's right. 448 00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:33,054 Now make that scream. That'll draw 'em out. Squeal like a pig. 449 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,974 A little higher. Hey! I found a queen! 450 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:39,352 I found a queen! I don't believe it. No one's ever found a queen. 451 00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:42,120 I gotta get this to the lab and get a stool sample. 452 00:34:53,508 --> 00:34:56,452 After my close call with Miss Piggy, I couldn't wait to get home. 453 00:34:56,552 --> 00:34:58,788 I had a lot of decorating ideas. 454 00:34:58,888 --> 00:35:03,058 I didn't have a lot of money, but I could move the pool closer to the house. 455 00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:13,068 I could see I wasn't gonna get much privacy. 456 00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:59,098 - Who's there? - It's Avon calling. 457 00:35:59,198 --> 00:36:01,059 Oh! It's you! 458 00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:04,744 - I'd like to talk to you for a minute. - Yeah, come on in. 459 00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:09,150 Come on in. Have a seat. Make yourself at home. 460 00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:11,668 What's on your mind? 461 00:36:12,628 --> 00:36:14,588 Well... 462 00:36:18,092 --> 00:36:21,037 - What do you do? Mud wrestle in this thing? - I'm sorry about that... 463 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:25,265 - but I won it in a raffle. - Must be an art to sitting in one of these. 464 00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:27,794 Lost art. 465 00:36:27,894 --> 00:36:31,005 - You get the Lakers? - I'm lucky to get Wheel of Fortune. 466 00:36:31,105 --> 00:36:34,092 Why would somebody want to buy this land? 467 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:36,109 Insect research. 468 00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:42,517 I have an offer for $250,000. 469 00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:46,312 Take the money and run! What you thinkin'? 470 00:36:46,412 --> 00:36:49,482 What do you know about this Farnsworth Ministry? 471 00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:53,444 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth? Down here everybody knows about him. 472 00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:57,047 Your Aunt Belle used to watch him when she was laid up. 473 00:36:57,632 --> 00:37:02,745 And that is have you've been saved? 474 00:37:02,845 --> 00:37:06,707 I know that there are a lot of you out there tonight... 475 00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:11,879 that the devil has got a firm grip round your neck and is choking you to death! 476 00:37:11,979 --> 00:37:16,259 - Amen! - I want you to send whatever you can afford. 477 00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:21,848 If you've got $1,000 in the bank, don't be afraid to send the whole $1,000. 478 00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:25,977 I need your money. Bibleland is only halfway there. 479 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:27,649 - Bibel... - With your help it could be... 480 00:37:27,749 --> 00:37:29,362 - the most important attraction... - ...land. 481 00:37:29,462 --> 00:37:31,941 ...since the Crucifixion itself. 482 00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:34,527 Immediate seating for the 5.00 service. 483 00:37:34,627 --> 00:37:36,946 The 5.00 service is about to begin. 484 00:37:37,046 --> 00:37:39,907 Immediate seating for the 5.00 service. 485 00:37:40,007 --> 00:37:43,119 - Welcome, sinner. - Praise the Lord! Bless you. 486 00:37:43,219 --> 00:37:45,580 Bless you, bless her, bless him. Halleluja. 487 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,542 - Name please. - Irwin. Fletcher. Irwin M. Fletcher. 488 00:37:49,642 --> 00:37:51,210 Irwin Mahatma Fletcher. 489 00:37:51,310 --> 00:37:53,004 - Address? - Seven. 490 00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:56,382 It's time for the 4,323rd edition... 491 00:37:56,482 --> 00:38:03,055 of the Farnsworth Television Ministry with... Mimsy Carlyle, God's own songbird. 492 00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:06,533 The heavenly feet of Damon Feather. 493 00:38:08,077 --> 00:38:11,647 Mr. Coco. The Winfield Revivalists. 494 00:38:11,747 --> 00:38:15,818 The Bradley Family Singers, and Ted Medly and the Band. 495 00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:20,865 And now, the host of our show, the Ministry's founder and your friend... 496 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:26,219 Mr. Good News himself, the Reverend Jimmy Lee Farnsworth. 497 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:44,529 I know that there is someone out there tonight who needs to step forward. 498 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:49,310 - Lyda Pearl Shindley. - Me? 499 00:38:49,410 --> 00:38:53,981 Lyda Pearl, come on down here! Give her a big hand, folks! Make her welcome! 500 00:38:54,081 --> 00:38:55,582 All right! 501 00:38:59,211 --> 00:39:01,713 Bless you. God bless you. 502 00:39:03,424 --> 00:39:06,702 I know that you suffered a terrible tragedy... 503 00:39:06,802 --> 00:39:10,831 when you lost Jo Bob in the merry-go-round accident at the State Fair. 504 00:39:10,931 --> 00:39:11,916 I did. 505 00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:15,962 I also know that Jo Bob left you financially stable. 506 00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:18,589 But answer me this one question. 507 00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:22,301 Has all of them riches brung you happiness, child? 508 00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:27,515 - No, they haven't. I've sinned. - We've all sinned. 509 00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:31,451 I know, but I've really sinned. 510 00:39:32,328 --> 00:39:34,730 God, have her not mention my name. 511 00:39:34,830 --> 00:39:38,776 Say it aloud so your soul might be cleansed. 512 00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,653 I'm so ashamed. 513 00:39:40,753 --> 00:39:42,947 I slept with my best friend's husband. 514 00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:45,658 You are forgiven. Praise the Lord. 515 00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:46,867 Amen. 516 00:39:46,967 --> 00:39:51,664 - And I also slept with my Uncle James. - You are forgiven, child. 517 00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:55,835 Ladies and gentlemen, doesn't it take a tremendous amount of courage... 518 00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:59,422 to come up here on nationwide cable hook-up... 519 00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:02,258 and confess to human "frailities"? 520 00:40:02,358 --> 00:40:05,803 - I shoplifted this blouse and... - You've been forgiven. 521 00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:08,279 Demons out! 522 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:12,059 Praise be! Praise the Lord! 523 00:40:12,159 --> 00:40:16,397 Ladies and gentlemen, praise be, praise the Lord. 524 00:40:16,497 --> 00:40:17,857 Bravo. 525 00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:21,110 Surely Lyda Pearl was not alone. 526 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:25,573 Surely there is someone else out there whose life is full of confusion. 527 00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:29,201 - Irwin M. Fletcher just inherited Belle Isle. - I sense greed. 528 00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:35,791 I sense deep grief and loneliness. I sense a recent bereavement. 529 00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:39,811 Someone who has lost an uncle or an aunt. 530 00:40:41,147 --> 00:40:43,398 Mr. Fletcher. 531 00:40:44,066 --> 00:40:47,887 - Mr. Irwin M. Fletcher. - That's me. 532 00:40:47,987 --> 00:40:50,890 - Are you out there, Mr. Fletcher? - Step forward, young man. 533 00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:53,434 The Lord's calling to you. Come on up here. 534 00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:57,871 Give him a big hand. Make him welcome. Come on down here. 535 00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:08,199 Your Aunt Belle recently passed away, didn't she, son? 536 00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:14,038 - Yes, she did. Yeah. - Are you still grieving in your heart? 537 00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:15,998 Absolutely. 538 00:41:16,098 --> 00:41:22,088 And even her generous gift to ya of the ancestral home, the beautiful Belle Isle... 539 00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:27,760 has not eased the grief, pain and sufferin' in your heart now, has it? 540 00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:30,096 Not a hell of a lot. No. 541 00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:34,407 Irwin, admit that you are a sinner. 542 00:41:36,076 --> 00:41:41,273 Uh, well I've sinned. Didn't take any Polaroids or anything. 543 00:41:41,373 --> 00:41:44,402 But... I've sinned. Yeah. 544 00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:47,238 The Lord forgives you! 545 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:50,590 Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. 546 00:41:51,383 --> 00:41:53,092 Thank you. Amen. 547 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:57,039 What? Other sins? 548 00:41:57,139 --> 00:42:02,211 Er... Well, er... I parked in a handicapped spot on my way over here. 549 00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:04,463 Actually on a handicapped person. 550 00:42:04,563 --> 00:42:08,676 I told him I'd be out in five minutes so that's not such a big deal. 551 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:13,973 There's other things. They're personal, so I wouldn't wanna get into it on TV. 552 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,976 But I have sinned and I'm sorry about it. Thanks. 553 00:42:17,076 --> 00:42:19,937 - God forgives ya! - Amen! 554 00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:27,403 The good Lord is gonna ease the pain and sufferin' in your heart... 555 00:42:27,503 --> 00:42:30,030 with a bright light of grace. 556 00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:36,135 Look out, you demons! Demons, demons, out! 557 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:42,251 - Oh! That was great. - Praise the Lord. 558 00:42:42,351 --> 00:42:46,797 Another soul saved by Jimmy Lee Farnsworth. How about that? 559 00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:50,759 I dangled Belle Isle like bait and he took the hook. 560 00:42:50,859 --> 00:42:54,388 At the heart, he was a deeply religious man and I liked his teeth. 561 00:42:54,488 --> 00:42:57,266 Once we've had a chance to expand... 562 00:42:57,366 --> 00:43:00,686 Bibleland's gonna be like some kind of heaven on earth... 563 00:43:00,786 --> 00:43:02,980 if it isn't already. 564 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,358 - There's the hotel. - Hi, Reverend. 565 00:43:06,458 --> 00:43:09,445 We call it the Heavenly Hilton and Convention Center. 566 00:43:09,545 --> 00:43:12,615 Beyond that is the Farnsworth Bible College. 567 00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:16,577 If you look down the road, you see the Jump for Jesus Trampoline Center. 568 00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:19,538 - What do you think? - It's unbelievable. 569 00:43:19,638 --> 00:43:22,666 Think I use too many photographs of myself? 570 00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:26,253 No! No! It worked for the Ayatollah. 571 00:43:26,353 --> 00:43:29,089 Mr. Fletcher, your Belle Isle's a bit rundown. 572 00:43:29,189 --> 00:43:31,717 It'll eat you alive in maintenance. 573 00:43:31,817 --> 00:43:35,095 You don't know how much your land would mean to us. 574 00:43:35,195 --> 00:43:39,558 And to God, too, of course. After all, he does give us our guidance now. 575 00:43:39,658 --> 00:43:41,727 - Amen! - You bet your ass. 576 00:43:41,827 --> 00:43:44,939 My mother would say "There's a tick for every dog." 577 00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:46,565 What did your mother mean by that? 578 00:43:46,665 --> 00:43:51,904 Why in God's name you let Farnsworth's Ministry burrow into your fur? 579 00:43:52,004 --> 00:43:57,326 Why would you think of givin' away your property when you got a big cash offer? 580 00:43:57,426 --> 00:44:03,457 I guess, after a lifetime of hedonism, it's time to rededicate my life. 581 00:44:03,557 --> 00:44:08,212 Nah, I just wanted to see what would happen if I went along with him. 582 00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:11,590 Well, it happened. The sheriff's office called. 583 00:44:11,690 --> 00:44:15,886 - The charges against you were dropped. - Is that right? 584 00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:19,932 The Ministry has a good deal of influence around here. 585 00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:23,227 I suppose you've heard that your... 586 00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:28,122 aunt was under considerable emotional strain in the weeks before she died? 587 00:44:29,291 --> 00:44:33,821 - Yeah, I've heard that. - So was my mother. 588 00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:37,449 They took advantage of her. These holy rollers. 589 00:44:37,549 --> 00:44:41,704 When she was at death's door, they preyed on her faith and her fear. 590 00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:44,456 When she could no longer make rational decisions... 591 00:44:44,556 --> 00:44:48,252 persuaded her to give away our land for that amusement park. 592 00:44:48,352 --> 00:44:52,673 My guess is that your speedy conversion and your promised gift... 593 00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:57,110 played no small part in the charges against you being dropped. 594 00:45:00,656 --> 00:45:02,516 Well, whatever. 595 00:45:02,616 --> 00:45:04,909 At least I'm off the hook. 596 00:45:05,577 --> 00:45:09,648 And who or what do they think is responsible for Amanda Ray's death? 597 00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:11,942 The autopsy report come in today. 598 00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:15,613 They said she died of a heart attack. Natural causes. 599 00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:22,885 Either she had some congenital defect, or you're one hell of a lover. 600 00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:26,889 Probably both. 601 00:45:28,642 --> 00:45:32,588 I needed more background on Farnsworth so I called Frank. 602 00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:35,633 Maybe I should've checked out Calculus Entterby. 603 00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:38,677 I liked him, but I wasn't buying his Amos and Andy routine. 604 00:45:38,777 --> 00:45:41,347 He seemed a lot smarter than that. 605 00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:45,616 - I never took you to be no murderer. - That's a relief. 606 00:45:46,785 --> 00:45:49,313 So who's the odds-on favorite now? 607 00:45:49,413 --> 00:45:51,038 Nobody. 608 00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:54,834 - They say she dropped dead in her sleep. - Yeah... 609 00:45:57,296 --> 00:45:59,239 The odds on that? 610 00:45:59,339 --> 00:46:01,924 Same as catchin' a bass this afternoon. 611 00:46:04,094 --> 00:46:06,288 What's that? 612 00:46:06,388 --> 00:46:09,140 About 258,000 to one. 613 00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:21,944 You sure you don't wanna back out? 614 00:46:22,696 --> 00:46:24,655 I'm in. 615 00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:28,227 This be the morgue? Have the police come yet? 616 00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:29,687 - What? - The police! 617 00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:32,898 They was bringing a doctor to make a death certificate. 618 00:46:32,998 --> 00:46:37,569 You got a stiff, boy, you're in the right place. Where is it? 619 00:46:37,669 --> 00:46:39,113 In my Cadillac. 620 00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:42,449 Put him on the gurney. Take him in the back with the rest. 621 00:46:42,549 --> 00:46:44,535 Don't bother me. I'm watchin' "Terminator". 622 00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:47,830 - Put a steerin' wheel on that! - Excuse me, sir. 623 00:46:47,930 --> 00:46:50,014 I'll be right back now. 624 00:46:52,851 --> 00:46:56,729 - What's that stickin' out? - His lucky golf cap. 625 00:46:57,439 --> 00:46:58,940 Hey! 626 00:47:01,527 --> 00:47:03,903 You gotta tag his toe. 627 00:47:04,738 --> 00:47:07,433 - He got a name? - Eldridge Cleaver. 628 00:47:07,533 --> 00:47:10,618 Take him in the back, strip him. Hold it. 629 00:47:11,787 --> 00:47:16,582 Let's see what Mr. Cleaver has, or should I say, had. 630 00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:24,366 Wait a minute. Shouldn't I get that? 631 00:47:24,466 --> 00:47:26,326 Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. 632 00:47:26,426 --> 00:47:31,373 You call me whenever you want, I'll tell you what time it is. 633 00:47:31,473 --> 00:47:33,641 Now get movin'. 634 00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:41,649 Eldridge Cleaver... 635 00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:46,112 Good evening, Mr. Hoffa. 636 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:49,699 Amanda Ross... Amanda Ross... Five. 637 00:48:28,864 --> 00:48:31,490 - Can I take a look? - Yeah, go on. 638 00:48:54,431 --> 00:48:58,085 Any mail for me? You don't have a Tic Tac, do you? 639 00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,962 What happened? I black out? 640 00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:01,797 - Did I land the plane safely? - Yeah. 641 00:49:01,897 --> 00:49:03,006 - Passengers hurt? - No. 642 00:49:03,106 --> 00:49:04,925 - Everything's okay? - Yeah. 643 00:49:05,025 --> 00:49:07,151 Check that air-conditioning. 644 00:49:11,073 --> 00:49:14,059 - What'd you find out? - Cremated. 645 00:49:14,159 --> 00:49:17,563 I wouldn't be surprised if all the paperwork was burnt up with the body. 646 00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:22,693 The morgue proved to be a dead end. But I guess it is for most people. 647 00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:26,697 I had three questions. Why was I cleared in Amanda's death? 648 00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:30,117 Why, if she wasn't murdered, was the body quickly destroyed? 649 00:49:30,217 --> 00:49:34,788 And when it comes to stewed prunes, are three enough or are four too many? 650 00:49:34,888 --> 00:49:38,458 When I got back to Belle Isle, there was a cosy fire in the fireplace... 651 00:49:38,558 --> 00:49:42,144 and on the roof, the walls and the porch. It was great. 652 00:49:43,605 --> 00:49:45,507 Think maybe I should pack. 653 00:49:45,607 --> 00:49:47,843 - Guess you'll be movin' in with me. - Thanks. 654 00:49:47,943 --> 00:49:50,304 Look at the bright side. You won't have to dust anymore. 655 00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:51,487 Yes, sir! 656 00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:04,860 Here's your diet plate. 657 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,946 - Thank you. - Does everything come with a head? 658 00:50:08,046 --> 00:50:09,255 You bet, honey. 659 00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:12,951 Glad I didn't order a hamburger. 660 00:50:13,051 --> 00:50:15,845 I'd say grace, but I don't wanna wake him up. 661 00:50:17,222 --> 00:50:18,206 Are you religious? 662 00:50:18,306 --> 00:50:21,793 I believe in a God that doesn't need heavy financing. 663 00:50:21,893 --> 00:50:24,212 - How you doin', Mr. Barbour? - How's it goin'? 664 00:50:24,312 --> 00:50:27,299 Fine, fine. This here's Mr. Fletcher. 665 00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:30,344 He's the new owner of Belle Isle, or what's left of it. 666 00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:33,221 Yeah, I heard about your fire. Sorry about that. 667 00:50:33,321 --> 00:50:34,264 Well... 668 00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:37,643 You know, you've had your share of problems ever since you've been here. 669 00:50:37,743 --> 00:50:41,313 How about we show you some real Southern hospitality? 670 00:50:41,413 --> 00:50:44,206 You ever been on a coon hunt? 671 00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:50,447 A coon hunt is like an English fox hunt, except we cut through all the bullshit... 672 00:50:50,547 --> 00:50:54,326 all the fancy clothes and music, all the beautiful women. 673 00:50:54,426 --> 00:50:57,454 We reduce the experience to its essence. 674 00:50:57,554 --> 00:51:00,248 A bunch of sweaty drunks chasin' a scared animal. 675 00:51:00,348 --> 00:51:02,626 You're damn right! 676 00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:06,004 - What am I supposed to do? - The dogs do most of the work. 677 00:51:06,104 --> 00:51:08,840 We just follow the dogs, they tree the coon... 678 00:51:08,940 --> 00:51:11,025 we get him down. 679 00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:13,637 This drug testing has gone too far. 680 00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,764 Take a jolt. 681 00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:18,657 - Kick-a-poo joy juice? - Oh, stronger than that! 682 00:51:22,704 --> 00:51:23,814 Aren't you coming? 683 00:51:23,914 --> 00:51:27,150 It ain't safe for a black man to be chasin' around these woods... 684 00:51:27,250 --> 00:51:29,695 unless he be handcuffed to a white man. 685 00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:33,339 - I'll see you back at my domicile. - You want some of this? 686 00:51:43,892 --> 00:51:46,378 You haven't lived till you've hunted coon... 687 00:51:46,478 --> 00:51:49,297 and after that, you don't want to. 688 00:51:49,397 --> 00:51:52,134 It was a chance to snoop around the neighborhood. 689 00:51:52,234 --> 00:51:56,346 The Ministry seemed so hot for all this land. Why? 690 00:51:56,446 --> 00:51:59,975 Maybe they just wanted a remote spot to bury Jim and Tammy. 691 00:52:00,075 --> 00:52:04,396 - Where the hell are we? - Actually, this is my place, or was. 692 00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:06,523 Ain't been on it since I sold the sucker. 693 00:52:06,623 --> 00:52:11,028 This is your property here and that's Ham's mama's old place over there. 694 00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:13,071 Should we catch up with the boys? 695 00:52:13,171 --> 00:52:16,757 Yes. There's some of 'em I shouldn't leave alone with the dogs. 696 00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:22,972 Oh, wait up. 697 00:52:24,349 --> 00:52:27,711 Jesus! What happened to my flower garden? 698 00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:29,963 Everything's dead! 699 00:52:30,063 --> 00:52:33,884 Yo, Barbour! Rags has got a water moccasin in his mouth. 700 00:52:33,984 --> 00:52:37,429 Hey, we in luck. You ever jerked the head off a snake? 701 00:52:37,529 --> 00:52:41,558 - Oh, no. I gave it up for Lent. - I'm not gonna miss the fun. 702 00:52:41,658 --> 00:52:43,909 Hey, guys, wait up! 703 00:54:00,278 --> 00:54:03,515 I never liked guns, especially pointed at me. 704 00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:08,019 This night a couple of people were taking pot shots in my direction. 705 00:54:08,119 --> 00:54:12,831 It was time to get outta there. 11.27 to be exact. 706 00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:28,290 I was heartbroken to miss the raccoon, but all I wanted was to sleep... 707 00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:31,308 so I headed for Cal's water bed. 708 00:54:31,893 --> 00:54:35,130 Welcome back. Jimmy Lee was on a roll tonight. 709 00:54:35,230 --> 00:54:39,718 Ten salvations. Big bucks. You catch a coon? 710 00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:43,013 I was shot at. Somebody's sure trying to scare me off. 711 00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,515 And they'd kill me to underline the threat. 712 00:54:45,615 --> 00:54:50,353 - You were shot at? - Yep. Now, who would do that? 713 00:54:50,453 --> 00:54:54,665 Damn shame. I'll go outside and see what's goin' on. 714 00:55:02,799 --> 00:55:05,327 - What was it? - I thought I saw somethin'. 715 00:55:05,427 --> 00:55:08,929 I just fired in the air to scare whatever it was. 716 00:55:20,108 --> 00:55:23,678 I didn't sleep well, and it wasn't the fault of the water bed. 717 00:55:23,778 --> 00:55:27,140 Something was rotten in this whole situation. 718 00:55:27,240 --> 00:55:29,309 Figuring that the thug who dropped my watch... 719 00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:33,188 was the guy who stole it at the morgue didn't take Sherlock Holmes. 720 00:55:33,288 --> 00:55:35,914 Larry Holmes could've figured that out. 721 00:55:48,845 --> 00:55:53,932 I wasn't sure who'd be taking the next shot at me, so I decided to work alone. 722 00:55:54,934 --> 00:55:57,128 I've got just what you asked for. 723 00:55:57,228 --> 00:56:01,299 Stop salivating. I'm sending you my Laker high-tops for lab analysis. 724 00:56:01,399 --> 00:56:05,011 He's behaving very strangely. He must be in trouble. 725 00:56:05,111 --> 00:56:07,847 Somebody must be holding a gun to his head. 726 00:56:07,947 --> 00:56:12,352 Fletch, if you need rescuing, just say: 727 00:56:12,452 --> 00:56:15,855 "I believe Louisiana is the Pelican State." 728 00:56:15,955 --> 00:56:20,402 Okay, Frank. I believe Louisiana is the Pelican State, as a matter of fact. 729 00:56:20,502 --> 00:56:24,239 - What do you have on Farnsworth? - I've got everything you need. 730 00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:27,534 Farnsworth. Former used-car salesman in Biloxi. 731 00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:32,247 In '77, he pleaded "no contest" to a charge of cheque-kiting. 732 00:56:32,347 --> 00:56:37,419 '81, businessmen helped him found the Farnsworth Television Ministry. 733 00:56:37,519 --> 00:56:40,755 Our source is indicating he may be a target of Federal investigation. 734 00:56:40,855 --> 00:56:43,758 - Anything else? - Er, two marriages. 735 00:56:43,858 --> 00:56:47,569 One daughter goes by wife's maiden name. Becky Culpepper. 736 00:56:50,198 --> 00:56:53,810 It was hard to believe that Becky was Farnsworth's daughter. 737 00:56:53,910 --> 00:56:55,729 But I wasn't gonna hold it against her. 738 00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:59,581 If I held anything against her, it wouldn't be her father. 739 00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:20,962 I heard about the fire. I hope you're okay. 740 00:57:21,062 --> 00:57:22,797 I'm fine. 741 00:57:22,897 --> 00:57:26,509 I was lying in the embers of my house, calming my nerves... 742 00:57:26,609 --> 00:57:28,636 - after being shot at. - What? You were shot at? 743 00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:33,350 I was thinking "What a good day to sell up and move back to Los Angeles." 744 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,325 Is the buyer still interested? 745 00:57:36,661 --> 00:57:38,438 No, I'm afraid he withdrew. 746 00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:41,066 I have five minutes on the metre. Let's talk. 747 00:57:41,166 --> 00:57:46,003 Now, why don't you tell me who your client is? 748 00:57:46,838 --> 00:57:49,157 Is it the Farnsworth Ministry? 749 00:57:49,257 --> 00:57:52,577 Why would you say that? And who is shooting at you? 750 00:57:52,677 --> 00:57:54,678 Maybe the Reverend Farnsworth. 751 00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:59,250 Look, Jimmy Lee Farnsworth may be a lot of things... 752 00:57:59,350 --> 00:58:02,504 - but he's not a murderer. - You're right, he is many things. 753 00:58:02,604 --> 00:58:06,216 A former used-car salesman, a confessed embezzler, your father... 754 00:58:06,316 --> 00:58:07,900 good square dancer. 755 00:58:11,196 --> 00:58:13,848 That's right, he is my father. 756 00:58:13,948 --> 00:58:17,018 But I'm also telling you the truth. 757 00:58:17,118 --> 00:58:20,980 Becky, somebody wants my land bad enough to kill me for it. 758 00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:25,110 If you don't tell me who your client is, I'm gonna find out some other way. 759 00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:27,946 It's guest healer's night with Jimmy Lee on this, 760 00:58:28,046 --> 00:58:33,451 the 4,323rd edition of our show with tonight's special guests... 761 00:58:33,551 --> 00:58:35,620 people with the healing gift. 762 00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:40,458 - Excuse me. May I have your name? - I'm Claude Henry... 763 00:58:40,558 --> 00:58:44,003 - Claude Henry... - Claude Henry. 764 00:58:44,103 --> 00:58:46,172 - Claude... - Claude or Clod is good. Henry. 765 00:58:46,272 --> 00:58:48,007 - Henry... - Smmoot. 766 00:58:48,107 --> 00:58:51,928 S-M-M-O-T-T. I'm sorry. Two "Os", one "T". 767 00:58:52,028 --> 00:58:55,098 - Claude Henry Smmoot. A guest healer. - I'm a guest healer. 768 00:58:55,198 --> 00:58:57,350 - Yes. Healed. - God bless you. 769 00:58:57,450 --> 00:58:59,352 With Mimsy Carlyle. 770 00:58:59,452 --> 00:59:05,442 - Wait here. - The heavenly feet of Damon Feather. 771 00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:09,571 God's simian favorite, Mr. Coco. 772 00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:14,925 The guest healers who volunteered for tonight's show will follow Jimmy Lee. 773 00:59:19,931 --> 00:59:22,709 And now the founder of our show... 774 00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:26,337 your friend, Mr. Good News himself... 775 00:59:26,437 --> 00:59:28,689 Jimmy Lee Farnsworth. 776 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,360 As you know... 777 00:59:49,460 --> 00:59:52,614 I have a feeling that there's someone out there... 778 00:59:52,714 --> 00:59:58,119 - who needs to step forward. - Gordon Joe James. 779 00:59:58,219 --> 01:00:02,415 Gordon Joe James. Who are you? 780 01:00:02,515 --> 01:00:06,169 Gordon Joe lost a limb to a pit bull. 781 01:00:06,269 --> 01:00:09,130 Gordon Joe, will you please raise your right hand? 782 01:00:09,230 --> 01:00:12,342 - Left hand. - Excuse me, left hand. 783 01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:14,151 There you are! 784 01:00:21,868 --> 01:00:25,438 Bibleland Two. Jimmy Lee's dream. 785 01:00:25,538 --> 01:00:28,858 He was like some deranged Walt Disney. 786 01:00:28,958 --> 01:00:31,611 It was all in front of me. Ham Johnson's place. 787 01:00:31,711 --> 01:00:33,780 His mother's bequest. 788 01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:35,740 Belle Isle. 789 01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:40,119 The numbers on the boxes were certainly not zip codes. Maybe computer codes. 790 01:00:40,219 --> 01:00:41,996 All I needed now was a computer... 791 01:00:42,096 --> 01:00:45,208 and a ten-year-old kid to teach me to use it. 792 01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:54,592 - Cash or check or MasterCard... - MasterCard...! 793 01:00:54,692 --> 01:00:56,469 Bobby Ralph? 794 01:00:56,569 --> 01:00:59,389 Peter Lemonjello. Your house is on fire. 795 01:00:59,489 --> 01:01:02,809 - What? - They told me to tell you. 796 01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:05,061 - I'll take over. - God bless you! 797 01:01:05,161 --> 01:01:08,455 God bless you for believing this shit. 798 01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:20,201 There was a new element I didn't anticipate: 799 01:01:20,301 --> 01:01:21,869 A second suspect. 800 01:01:21,969 --> 01:01:25,999 Becky's client was not the ministry, but Everest Development. 801 01:01:26,099 --> 01:01:28,001 She never knew who they were. 802 01:01:28,101 --> 01:01:31,812 Becky was a good girl, and wouldn't have to be spanked. Damn it. 803 01:01:32,897 --> 01:01:38,443 Who's gonna be the next one to get the call? Who's gonna be the next one saved? 804 01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:44,309 - Who's going to be... - T'Boo Ted Marshall. 805 01:01:44,409 --> 01:01:49,188 T'Boo Ted Marshall, are you with us tonight? 806 01:01:49,288 --> 01:01:53,318 Yes, indeed, Reverend! But how can God help my problem? 807 01:01:53,418 --> 01:01:55,361 T'Boo Ted is a... 808 01:01:55,461 --> 01:01:57,822 compulsive gambler. 809 01:01:57,922 --> 01:02:03,218 T'Boo Ted, the first thing you gotta do is expose that problem! 810 01:02:05,054 --> 01:02:06,873 Excuse me? 811 01:02:06,973 --> 01:02:10,168 If you can't expose that problem, at least to your family... 812 01:02:10,268 --> 01:02:15,173 it grows and grows, and becomes an even bigger problem! 813 01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:16,841 That's true! 814 01:02:16,941 --> 01:02:19,969 He's been a compulsive gambler for 20 years. 815 01:02:20,069 --> 01:02:23,780 Because you've had this affliction for more than 20 years... 816 01:02:25,116 --> 01:02:28,519 I think you should expose that problem to us. 817 01:02:28,619 --> 01:02:30,396 Right here... tonight. 818 01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:34,901 I want you to do it. The good Lord wants you to do it! 819 01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:38,503 - You really think so? - I know so! 820 01:02:39,797 --> 01:02:41,757 Do it. Do it now! 821 01:02:46,846 --> 01:02:49,222 Well, if you say so. 822 01:02:52,894 --> 01:02:55,296 Oh God! Put your pants back on! 823 01:02:55,396 --> 01:02:58,883 Coming right back to introduce our guest healers. 824 01:02:58,983 --> 01:03:04,263 Let's welcome all of them beginning with Claude Henry Smmoot. 825 01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:06,448 Come on out, Claude! 826 01:03:07,283 --> 01:03:08,935 - Here we are. - I have a headache. 827 01:03:09,035 --> 01:03:10,535 No, this way. 828 01:03:13,831 --> 01:03:17,292 You're gonna do just fine. Now, get out there. Go on. 829 01:03:20,838 --> 01:03:23,048 I said, get out there now! 830 01:03:24,509 --> 01:03:26,760 Here he is! Make him welcome, folks! 831 01:03:28,054 --> 01:03:31,541 Welcome, Claude Henry. When was the very first time... 832 01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:36,561 the very first moment that made the difference in your life? 833 01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:45,012 Well, Jimmy Lee, I was... I was... on my gazebo, on the roof making some repairs... 834 01:03:45,112 --> 01:03:48,015 and I was struck by lightning. 835 01:03:48,115 --> 01:03:52,270 I have had acute migraine headaches and blurred vision since then. 836 01:03:52,370 --> 01:03:54,731 But praise the Lord, that was my lucky day because... 837 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:58,192 ever since then I have had the healing power. 838 01:03:58,292 --> 01:04:01,612 Amen. God bless you. Thank you very much. Good night. 839 01:04:01,712 --> 01:04:04,741 - Claude Henry. - Good night. What happened? 840 01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:07,285 Before you heal another... 841 01:04:07,385 --> 01:04:10,663 would you like for me to attempt to heal your own affliction? 842 01:04:10,763 --> 01:04:12,749 No, no! No, no. 843 01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:17,211 No, those of us with perfect faith have no need of perfect vision. 844 01:04:17,311 --> 01:04:19,589 We have no need of wisdom. 845 01:04:19,689 --> 01:04:23,468 We have no need of anything except the creature comforts and lots of them. 846 01:04:23,568 --> 01:04:27,847 Hallelujah! Amen! God bless you. Amen. Thank you. Hallelujah. 847 01:04:27,947 --> 01:04:32,685 Ladies and gentlemen, he sees more than he doth know. 848 01:04:32,785 --> 01:04:34,645 - Yes, I do. - Amen! 849 01:04:34,745 --> 01:04:38,191 Claude Henry has the gift! 850 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:42,711 Would you use that gift, Claude Henry? Would you use it now? 851 01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:51,011 - I guess I could. - Praise be. 852 01:04:51,971 --> 01:04:55,541 Reverend, I sense that in our audience... 853 01:04:55,641 --> 01:04:59,545 there is a gentleman by the name of Jim Bob. 854 01:04:59,645 --> 01:05:02,772 Jim Bob, would you stand up? Would you rise, please? 855 01:05:04,650 --> 01:05:07,595 Sixteen, seventeen... 856 01:05:07,695 --> 01:05:12,183 I sense that Jim Bob is a young man. 857 01:05:12,283 --> 01:05:17,495 That he is between the ages of 25, 27. 858 01:05:19,874 --> 01:05:21,859 That's more like it. 859 01:05:21,959 --> 01:05:26,113 The Lord is telling me that Jim Bob suffers from the same... 860 01:05:26,213 --> 01:05:31,285 Satanized affliction that I suffer from. Migraine headaches. 861 01:05:31,385 --> 01:05:34,080 Don't you, Jim Bob? Is that you? 862 01:05:34,180 --> 01:05:36,457 Come on down, Jim Bob! 863 01:05:36,557 --> 01:05:39,836 Praise be! Hallelujah! Amen! 864 01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:42,255 Praise the Lord! Be saved! 865 01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,757 Jim Bob, welcome. God bless you. 866 01:05:44,857 --> 01:05:48,594 Jim Bob, how long have you had these headaches? 867 01:05:48,694 --> 01:05:52,989 - About five, 10 minutes. - God... help him! 868 01:05:54,700 --> 01:05:57,812 - And how do you feel now? - It's a throbbing... 869 01:05:57,912 --> 01:06:01,274 God bless you. A headache comes up through your heels... 870 01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:04,861 up through the hip bone, up the spine, up through your back... 871 01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:07,446 through your head like Satan was belching through you? 872 01:06:07,546 --> 01:06:09,365 - Is that it? - Exactly. 873 01:06:09,465 --> 01:06:11,284 - Do you believe? - I believe. 874 01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:18,348 He believes! Hallelujah! Amen! God bless. Amen. Hallelujah. 875 01:06:22,269 --> 01:06:27,091 Rid this man of these headache demons, of these migraine demons. 876 01:06:27,191 --> 01:06:29,609 Heal this man! 877 01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:33,931 - Amen. - Amen. 878 01:06:34,031 --> 01:06:37,393 Hallelujah! Oh, good golly, Miss Molly! 879 01:06:37,493 --> 01:06:40,062 - How do you feel? - My headache is gone, but... 880 01:06:40,162 --> 01:06:42,607 God bless him! Anything else I can do? 881 01:06:42,707 --> 01:06:46,861 - No! No. - Good! God bless you. Praise be. 882 01:06:46,961 --> 01:06:50,463 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. 883 01:06:53,300 --> 01:06:55,494 I am worn to the bone. 884 01:06:55,594 --> 01:06:58,331 Thank you for gracing us with your presence. 885 01:06:58,431 --> 01:07:00,557 Good night. Praise be! 886 01:07:04,687 --> 01:07:06,631 Maybe I was wrong about Farnsworth. 887 01:07:06,731 --> 01:07:10,301 There was a new player in the game. Becky's unknown client. 888 01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:13,429 The only way to find out more was to get into her pants... 889 01:07:13,529 --> 01:07:18,392 I mean, her car. At least it had brakes. Her car, that is. 890 01:07:18,492 --> 01:07:20,952 Fletch, what are you doing? 891 01:07:21,579 --> 01:07:23,981 The guy who works in there stole my watch. 892 01:07:24,081 --> 01:07:26,233 He dropped it while trying to kill me. 893 01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:28,194 I'd just as soon he not recognize me. 894 01:07:28,294 --> 01:07:32,505 I'd like to keep an eye on him. Maybe he'll lead us to his boss. 895 01:07:33,883 --> 01:07:36,869 - How long are we gonna be here? - Bored? 896 01:07:36,969 --> 01:07:39,888 Oh, no! This is exciting! 897 01:07:50,441 --> 01:07:52,176 - Fletch? - What? 898 01:07:52,276 --> 01:07:54,720 I have to pee. 899 01:07:54,820 --> 01:07:57,515 This used to happen when I'd play hide-and-seek. 900 01:07:57,615 --> 01:08:01,076 I always got caught. Think the morgue has a ladies' room? 901 01:08:01,994 --> 01:08:03,411 Hey! 902 01:08:13,547 --> 01:08:17,634 Not so close. Try to get a little distance between you. 903 01:08:53,504 --> 01:08:57,882 I'm gonna have to play it pretty tough in there. Still have to pee? 904 01:08:59,343 --> 01:09:01,704 I gather the rain isn't helping a lot. 905 01:09:01,804 --> 01:09:04,722 - There's always the bushes. - I'll be okay. 906 01:09:08,477 --> 01:09:11,938 If I'm not back in five minutes, call your dad. 907 01:09:37,089 --> 01:09:41,384 Could I have a soda, please? Diet Pepsi or a Tab would be good. 908 01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:53,563 - Hey, pussy. - Name's Ed. Ed Harley. 909 01:09:54,899 --> 01:09:57,400 Are you sure you're in the right place? 910 01:09:58,777 --> 01:10:02,071 - I think so. - "Think so"! 911 01:10:05,034 --> 01:10:07,561 Ed, what are you doin' here? 912 01:10:07,661 --> 01:10:10,231 I'll give you a hint. 913 01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:12,832 Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 914 01:10:16,128 --> 01:10:17,837 You don't get it? 915 01:10:19,006 --> 01:10:21,992 You're the one that doesn't get it. 916 01:10:22,092 --> 01:10:25,970 Ed Harley. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles. 917 01:10:29,099 --> 01:10:32,628 - You own the company? - Well, my granddaddy started it. 918 01:10:32,728 --> 01:10:37,883 Then my daddy screwed Davidson out of his half. Now I own the whole thing. 919 01:10:37,983 --> 01:10:40,928 - Harley-Davidson? No shit? - No shit. 920 01:10:41,028 --> 01:10:44,140 Hey, y'all, Ed, the Third here owns Harley-Davidson! 921 01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:48,826 We're the Nazis from Natchez! Hey, have a real drink! 922 01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:13,810 Who you callin', babe? 923 01:11:19,191 --> 01:11:22,595 - Knock it off! - Yo, boss, look who's here! 924 01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:26,307 Harley-Davidson. Yo, Ed, come over here and meet the boss. 925 01:11:26,407 --> 01:11:31,020 Hi. Ed Harley, the Third. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles. 926 01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:36,442 If you need any T-shirts or decals, I can make arrangements for you. 927 01:11:36,542 --> 01:11:38,402 I just can't wait. 928 01:11:38,502 --> 01:11:41,838 - What model do you ride? - '78 XL. 929 01:11:43,048 --> 01:11:46,869 '78 XL? That's a legend! It's not blue, is it? 930 01:11:46,969 --> 01:11:49,762 You in luck, white boy. Come on. 931 01:11:53,392 --> 01:11:57,379 There she is. Ain't she beautiful? Original blue! 932 01:11:57,479 --> 01:11:59,590 Oh, she is a beaut. 933 01:11:59,690 --> 01:12:02,426 Gee, golly, I'd love to ride this '78 XL. 934 01:12:02,526 --> 01:12:06,764 Nobody... touches my hog. 935 01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:08,182 Sorry. 936 01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:10,893 You can ride that low-rider. 937 01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:13,896 Hell, we'll all ride. Fire 'em up! 938 01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:15,773 - Do you mind if er... - Darlene. 939 01:12:15,873 --> 01:12:19,693 - ...if Darlene rides with me? - Feeling a little horny, Ed? 940 01:12:19,793 --> 01:12:24,839 Yeah. You know, my life isn't all hubs and gears. 941 01:12:29,303 --> 01:12:30,887 Take it easy. 942 01:12:49,656 --> 01:12:52,643 Little murky in the oxydol. 943 01:12:52,743 --> 01:12:55,119 We can flush that out, streamline it. 944 01:12:55,662 --> 01:12:59,040 Hey, your moustache looks funny. 945 01:12:59,958 --> 01:13:01,709 Oh boy... 946 01:13:02,586 --> 01:13:05,380 Hey, look at that! Came off. 947 01:13:32,491 --> 01:13:34,268 What we gonna do? 948 01:13:34,368 --> 01:13:37,787 Something that will seem extremely stupid at first. 949 01:14:01,854 --> 01:14:04,645 Oh, my God! 950 01:14:19,455 --> 01:14:21,440 Home! 951 01:14:21,540 --> 01:14:24,318 Oh, my God! I'm a mess. 952 01:14:24,418 --> 01:14:27,211 - You want some coffee? - Sure. 953 01:14:27,713 --> 01:14:29,406 I look like a raccoon. 954 01:14:29,506 --> 01:14:31,241 I gotta get to work... 955 01:14:31,341 --> 01:14:34,745 but I don't know why. All I do is sit with nothing to do. 956 01:14:34,845 --> 01:14:38,665 To tell you the truth, the only work I've had lately has been with Everest Realty. 957 01:14:38,765 --> 01:14:40,918 - Look what that's gotten me. - Can I use your phone? 958 01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:43,060 Sure, go ahead. 959 01:14:44,021 --> 01:14:47,424 That's toxic waste on the soles. What have you been doing? 960 01:14:47,524 --> 01:14:49,802 Jogging in the love canal. What do you mean, toxic waste? 961 01:14:49,902 --> 01:14:54,181 It's special stuff. There's only 11 places that make this shit. 962 01:14:54,281 --> 01:14:55,990 Where? 963 01:14:59,411 --> 01:15:02,314 Just give me the ones that aren't in New Jersey. 964 01:15:02,414 --> 01:15:05,275 Ah, there's only one. Yazoo, Mississippi. 965 01:15:05,375 --> 01:15:06,626 Bingo. 966 01:15:14,551 --> 01:15:16,703 I wanna thank you for everything you've done. 967 01:15:16,803 --> 01:15:19,972 I'm sorry I caused such a mess. 968 01:15:21,099 --> 01:15:24,169 Can I ask you a personal question? 969 01:15:24,269 --> 01:15:26,896 Did you finally get to pee? 970 01:15:28,023 --> 01:15:29,482 Yes. 971 01:15:31,026 --> 01:15:32,610 Good. 972 01:15:41,703 --> 01:15:44,773 You better get cleaned up. 973 01:15:44,873 --> 01:15:47,542 Yeah. Particularly my mind. 974 01:15:57,302 --> 01:16:00,137 - Where's the shampoo? - I'll get you some. 975 01:16:06,436 --> 01:16:08,046 You'll need a clean towel too. 976 01:16:08,146 --> 01:16:10,982 - No, yours will be fine. - Fletch! 977 01:16:13,151 --> 01:16:15,278 You're right. This is too wet. 978 01:16:18,490 --> 01:16:23,160 - You know how to get to Yazoo? - Well, you're in the right vicinity. 979 01:16:23,954 --> 01:16:27,065 The church seemed less and less culpable. 980 01:16:27,165 --> 01:16:31,904 Why would they want toxic waste next to their land? Why would anybody? 981 01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:36,492 Why are there four "S"'s in Mississippi? Four "I"'s and only two "P"'s... 982 01:16:36,592 --> 01:16:39,302 and one "M" as far as I know? 983 01:16:45,809 --> 01:16:49,087 Bly Bio Chem was the biggest chemical plant in Mississippi. 984 01:16:49,187 --> 01:16:52,674 My Laker shoes were ruined by toxic waste produced there. 985 01:16:52,774 --> 01:16:55,552 They probably knew who delivered it to my backyard. 986 01:16:55,652 --> 01:16:59,139 Now the lead-lined containers painted with innocent bluebirds 987 01:16:59,239 --> 01:17:01,016 added a crucial piece to the puzzle... 988 01:17:01,116 --> 01:17:06,120 that had begun way back in Amanda Ross's pants... I mean, bedroom. 989 01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:09,316 This is a secure area. 990 01:17:09,416 --> 01:17:13,544 I'm very happy for you. Most people live in terrible neighborhoods. 991 01:17:14,171 --> 01:17:18,450 - Are you the head honcho? - That's right, sir. Hedly Dan Duke. 992 01:17:18,550 --> 01:17:20,244 And what seems to be your problem? 993 01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:25,374 I agreed to take a shit load of that Bluebird crap off your hands. 994 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:28,418 - And it ain't come yet. - I'm sorry, sir. And you are? 995 01:17:28,518 --> 01:17:30,087 I are pissed! 996 01:17:30,187 --> 01:17:33,382 Some damn fool told me it was on back order, and I'd have to wait. 997 01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:35,509 - Whose signature is this? - I can't read... 998 01:17:35,609 --> 01:17:39,012 Well, that's the trouble! That's typical of a large corporation. 999 01:17:39,112 --> 01:17:42,558 Lack of communication. That's why I like to keep Everest small. 1000 01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:45,894 - Oh, you're from Everest? - Now you're talkin'! 1001 01:17:45,994 --> 01:17:50,315 - Elmer Gantry. Elmer Fudd Gantry. - I don't know if I can do anything. 1002 01:17:50,415 --> 01:17:54,069 You could pull my file instead of standing there pulling your pud! 1003 01:17:54,169 --> 01:17:56,671 Whatever you say, sir. 1004 01:17:57,255 --> 01:18:01,384 - Bring me the Everest file. - Yes, sir. 1005 01:18:04,554 --> 01:18:06,430 Mr. Gantry? 1006 01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:14,381 I apologize for my bellicosity. I've had a hernia operation. 1007 01:18:14,481 --> 01:18:17,175 - Is that the stuff I'm getting? - Yes, sir. 1008 01:18:17,275 --> 01:18:18,927 Why are they wearing those suits? 1009 01:18:19,027 --> 01:18:22,848 They're protective. As you know, that's a very corrosive by-product. 1010 01:18:22,948 --> 01:18:26,518 I guess if they didn't wear them, they'd be so full of holes... 1011 01:18:26,618 --> 01:18:28,994 they'd whistle when they walked. 1012 01:18:30,747 --> 01:18:34,526 I've been spitting up blood, pissing blood, bleeding. 1013 01:18:34,626 --> 01:18:37,420 I go through five of these suits a day. 1014 01:18:38,046 --> 01:18:40,824 It appears you have your facts wrong, Mr. Gantry. 1015 01:18:40,924 --> 01:18:43,577 Your company is supposed to get 1500 gallons. 1016 01:18:43,677 --> 01:18:46,747 Destination is someplace called Belle Isle in Louisiana. 1017 01:18:46,847 --> 01:18:50,417 Signed for by an officer of your company and due the 23rd. 1018 01:18:50,517 --> 01:18:54,546 So... we're right, and you're wrong. 1019 01:18:54,646 --> 01:18:56,605 Let me see that. 1020 01:18:57,357 --> 01:19:01,360 Takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am not a big man. 1021 01:19:08,744 --> 01:19:11,772 We're late again, because you had to stay late at the jail. 1022 01:19:11,872 --> 01:19:14,707 - I'm sorry. - Just get out. 1023 01:19:21,465 --> 01:19:26,328 - Are you all right? - You're wrecking my present. 1024 01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:28,637 That's my fault? 1025 01:19:29,806 --> 01:19:32,516 Wash and gas it. Check the brake fluid, will ya? 1026 01:19:35,061 --> 01:19:37,798 My friends, ladies and gentlemen. 1027 01:19:37,898 --> 01:19:43,053 With all the fun we've been having, let's not forget our real purpose here tonight. 1028 01:19:43,153 --> 01:19:47,281 To preserve the legacy that nature has given us. 1029 01:19:50,076 --> 01:19:53,146 Bob Lee. Bob E. Lee. 1030 01:19:53,246 --> 01:19:57,484 Bob E. Lee. Bob Lee Schwartz. 1031 01:19:57,584 --> 01:20:00,795 - Schwartz. - Schwartz, the Second. 1032 01:20:25,237 --> 01:20:26,445 Fletch! 1033 01:20:27,489 --> 01:20:30,642 - What you doin' here? - What are you doin' here? 1034 01:20:30,742 --> 01:20:34,229 You know me. I ain't happy unless I'm working. 1035 01:20:34,329 --> 01:20:39,317 Why, Fletch, I'm surprised to see you here, sir. Welcome, sir, welcome. 1036 01:20:39,417 --> 01:20:42,336 My pleasure. Thank you for not inviting me. 1037 01:20:46,883 --> 01:20:49,202 I do believe we have something to discuss. 1038 01:20:49,302 --> 01:20:54,458 Oh. Well, might I suggest we repair ourselves to a quieter place. 1039 01:20:54,558 --> 01:20:56,877 Let us remove ourselves, shall we? 1040 01:20:56,977 --> 01:21:00,688 Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou. 1041 01:21:06,236 --> 01:21:08,654 My mama's room. 1042 01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:14,451 I've kept it just the way it was when she died. 1043 01:21:15,245 --> 01:21:17,413 Her ashes? 1044 01:21:17,956 --> 01:21:21,526 She used to say, "We come from the earth and we return to the earth... 1045 01:21:21,626 --> 01:21:24,211 and in between, we garden." 1046 01:21:25,964 --> 01:21:30,467 A little gardening... a little polluting. 1047 01:21:35,056 --> 01:21:37,266 They spelled my name wrong. 1048 01:21:39,352 --> 01:21:42,771 My gun's made of rubber. How 'bout yours? 1049 01:21:45,442 --> 01:21:48,845 No. I see your point. Wouldn't do for your conservationist guests... 1050 01:21:48,945 --> 01:21:52,724 to hear about that load of toxic waste heading for my land at Belle Isle. 1051 01:21:52,824 --> 01:21:56,186 My land... at Belle Isle, Fletch. 1052 01:21:56,286 --> 01:22:00,440 After you die, who's gonna prove that you did not sell your land to Everest? 1053 01:22:00,540 --> 01:22:04,069 You may have this town in your back pocket... 1054 01:22:04,169 --> 01:22:06,321 but a lot of people downstairs will be interested... 1055 01:22:06,421 --> 01:22:09,798 in the hows and whys of Amanda Ray's death. 1056 01:22:11,051 --> 01:22:14,788 She knew about Bluebird. She started a file on you, and you found out. 1057 01:22:14,888 --> 01:22:20,085 That was my lucky night. I found the Bluebird file, the night you porked her. 1058 01:22:20,185 --> 01:22:24,673 It was like an alligator shoot on the freeway, if you'll excuse the metaphor. 1059 01:22:24,773 --> 01:22:28,468 - It's not a metaphor, it's a simile. - Whatever. 1060 01:22:28,568 --> 01:22:34,349 You poisoned Amanda, figuring I'd sell and leave if I faced a murder charge. 1061 01:22:34,449 --> 01:22:38,061 - I don't scare easy. I'm too dumb. - So it would seem. 1062 01:22:38,161 --> 01:22:42,190 Now get out of my mama's chair before I put the first bullet up your nose. 1063 01:22:42,290 --> 01:22:44,568 Are you kidding? 1064 01:22:44,668 --> 01:22:47,404 Pull that trigger and 100 people will be up here. 1065 01:22:47,504 --> 01:22:51,340 My dear boy, why would I do my own dirty work? 1066 01:22:51,925 --> 01:22:57,680 Those 100 do-gooders down there dressed in rebel crap will be my alibi. 1067 01:22:59,849 --> 01:23:01,793 Now get outta my mama's chair! 1068 01:23:01,893 --> 01:23:05,463 I synchronized my Laker watch with Miss Culpepper's Timex. 1069 01:23:05,563 --> 01:23:07,632 If I don't join her in 10 minutes... 1070 01:23:07,732 --> 01:23:11,527 the whole ugly story goes out on the Farnsworth Network. 1071 01:23:12,779 --> 01:23:15,348 - Of course, it's cable, but... - You're bluffing, Fletch. 1072 01:23:15,448 --> 01:23:19,618 - No, I'm not. - You think you're not, but you are. 1073 01:23:22,789 --> 01:23:24,858 Swell. 1074 01:23:24,958 --> 01:23:29,628 - Did he hurt you? - Not yet. That comes later. 1075 01:23:30,630 --> 01:23:31,823 Sorry, Becky. 1076 01:23:31,923 --> 01:23:36,870 The band won't take a break for some time, so screaming would be futile. 1077 01:23:36,970 --> 01:23:39,956 Mr. Fletch's convenient appearance has allowed us... 1078 01:23:40,056 --> 01:23:44,727 to move up our plans for your demise to coincide with his. 1079 01:23:45,478 --> 01:23:50,342 Now I'm goin' downstairs to be the gracious host. 1080 01:23:50,442 --> 01:23:52,776 Do what you have to do. 1081 01:23:54,237 --> 01:23:57,307 - The Bride of Frankenstein. - Put my mama down! 1082 01:23:57,407 --> 01:23:59,351 Oh, I'm sorry. 1083 01:23:59,451 --> 01:24:01,869 Oh, how clumsy of me. 1084 01:24:03,079 --> 01:24:05,690 Oops! I'm sorry. I stepped right on her moustache. 1085 01:24:05,790 --> 01:24:09,069 Get away! Get away! 1086 01:24:09,169 --> 01:24:12,030 - I was just trying to help. - It's all right, Mama. 1087 01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:14,366 Be more careful with your breakables. 1088 01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:16,910 I've been careful all my life. 1089 01:24:17,010 --> 01:24:19,162 When she was sick, I was careful. 1090 01:24:19,262 --> 01:24:23,541 Then that goddamn Jimmy Lee's Ministry, taking everything she had. 1091 01:24:23,641 --> 01:24:25,684 Bloodsuckers! 1092 01:24:26,811 --> 01:24:28,380 It's gonna be all right, Mama. 1093 01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:32,592 And when we're far, far away from this godforsaken chemical swamp... 1094 01:24:32,692 --> 01:24:37,555 we're gonna sit back and watch 'em all just decompose. 1095 01:24:37,655 --> 01:24:41,643 That'll be good for Bibleland, their customers glowing in the dark. 1096 01:24:41,743 --> 01:24:44,688 I hope they all fry in hell! 1097 01:24:44,788 --> 01:24:48,066 - You bloodsucking bastards! - Isn't this interesting? 1098 01:24:48,166 --> 01:24:50,110 - Put that down. - She is in there. 1099 01:24:50,210 --> 01:24:52,862 - Put that down. That's very fragile. - She's lost a little weight. 1100 01:24:52,962 --> 01:24:56,825 I thought you had her stuffed and mounted. Head's up! 1101 01:24:56,925 --> 01:24:58,050 Becky! 1102 01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:13,816 Swine...! Darryl, are you having a good time? 1103 01:25:57,986 --> 01:26:01,347 Welcome to great Noah's Ark... 1104 01:26:01,447 --> 01:26:05,242 where we have a flood every 10 minutes. 1105 01:26:16,671 --> 01:26:18,782 No! This way. 1106 01:26:18,882 --> 01:26:21,451 Join our pyramid of prayer. 1107 01:26:21,551 --> 01:26:27,248 For only $12, you begin your exciting journey up the pyramid. 1108 01:26:27,348 --> 01:26:33,671 And when you reach the top, you're gonna be the target of 20,000 prayers! 1109 01:26:33,771 --> 01:26:35,423 Amen. 1110 01:26:35,523 --> 01:26:40,303 A lady in Fargo broke the chain and began a five-day fit of sneezing... 1111 01:26:40,403 --> 01:26:42,138 - that ended in her death. - Daddy? 1112 01:26:42,238 --> 01:26:48,311 Well, Mr. Fletcher, what a pleasant surprise. And, Becky, what are you... 1113 01:26:48,411 --> 01:26:52,607 Look who's here! Hamilton Johnson! Friend of the community. 1114 01:26:52,707 --> 01:26:56,111 Ham, you look like you've worked up quite a sweat. 1115 01:26:56,211 --> 01:26:58,655 You should dry your hair. Want a towel? 1116 01:26:58,755 --> 01:27:00,797 Uh-oh, he's got a gun. 1117 01:27:02,133 --> 01:27:04,953 Show your lovely face on national television. 1118 01:27:05,053 --> 01:27:09,165 Let 'em see that greedy glint in your eye and hear that bullshit chuckle. 1119 01:27:09,265 --> 01:27:11,251 Who's gonna save you now, Fletch? 1120 01:27:11,351 --> 01:27:14,337 You'll have to shoot through me, you son of a bitch! 1121 01:27:14,437 --> 01:27:17,841 He's not gonna shoot anybody. Are you? You're on television. 1122 01:27:17,941 --> 01:27:20,275 You haven't got the guts. 1123 01:27:21,319 --> 01:27:23,054 - My mistake. - Freeze! 1124 01:27:23,154 --> 01:27:27,324 FBI. Drop the gun! I said, drop it. Harry! 1125 01:27:35,416 --> 01:27:40,488 And it's my plan to rerun this incident every night during Sweeps Week. 1126 01:27:40,588 --> 01:27:43,658 The obvious question is, what did you know and when? 1127 01:27:43,758 --> 01:27:45,910 How long would you let me twist in the wind? 1128 01:27:46,010 --> 01:27:49,789 Up to a point. The Agency was barking up the same tree you were. 1129 01:27:49,889 --> 01:27:52,584 - Jimmy Lee's finances. - Yep. 1130 01:27:52,684 --> 01:27:56,421 Harry and Field Officer Vincent infiltrated the Ministry. 1131 01:27:56,521 --> 01:27:58,631 Field Officer Vincent? 1132 01:27:58,731 --> 01:28:01,467 That's Mr. Coco's real name. 1133 01:28:01,567 --> 01:28:04,220 We've been working on this case for over a year. 1134 01:28:04,320 --> 01:28:07,557 Excuse me, Agent Goldstein, can the officer speak to you? 1135 01:28:07,657 --> 01:28:11,076 - Surely. On the way. - Goldstein? 1136 01:28:15,331 --> 01:28:17,207 Thank you, sir. 1137 01:28:17,917 --> 01:28:20,820 Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead. 1138 01:28:20,920 --> 01:28:24,449 So what's next, Fletch? Back to L.A.? 1139 01:28:24,549 --> 01:28:29,245 - There's no place like home. - Unless home is here. 1140 01:28:29,345 --> 01:28:32,999 You know what? We gotta get you away from this chemical swamp. 1141 01:28:33,099 --> 01:28:35,767 I was wondering, do you like smog? 1142 01:28:39,022 --> 01:28:41,466 Back home there was a surprise party for me. 1143 01:28:41,566 --> 01:28:45,011 But the nicest surprise was an insurance check for the Belle Isle fire. 1144 01:28:45,111 --> 01:28:46,971 $100,000. 1145 01:28:47,071 --> 01:28:51,643 No one stopped Bly Bio Chem from dumping that toxic waste on my land. 1146 01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:56,439 They told me not to worry. Its half-life was estimated at 3,000 years. 1147 01:28:56,539 --> 01:28:58,483 Everything okay, Fletch? 1148 01:28:58,583 --> 01:29:01,319 Betty was pissed off about giving up her office... 1149 01:29:01,419 --> 01:29:03,655 and Accounting gave me flak about the new car. 1150 01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:07,408 But trust me, everything's gonna be just the way you want it, maybe better. 1151 01:29:07,508 --> 01:29:09,994 I like your attitude, Frank. 1152 01:29:10,094 --> 01:29:13,597 - Excuse me just a sec. - What a guy! 1153 01:29:15,767 --> 01:29:20,296 I thought I told you... never to come to my workplace. 1154 01:29:20,396 --> 01:29:22,632 Time's change, my dear Fletch. 1155 01:29:22,732 --> 01:29:26,052 Rumor has it that you inherited a sizable piece of property. 1156 01:29:26,152 --> 01:29:30,390 - Who told you? - I have my sources too. 1157 01:29:30,490 --> 01:29:34,018 They suggest you may have been considering skipping town... 1158 01:29:34,118 --> 01:29:36,312 and retiring on this vast estate. 1159 01:29:36,412 --> 01:29:39,315 Thus skipping out on your responsibilities. 1160 01:29:39,415 --> 01:29:43,778 - Would I do that? - Wendy could probably get half of it. 1161 01:29:43,878 --> 01:29:48,715 So in return for the other half, we would forego any other claims. 1162 01:29:49,842 --> 01:29:52,761 Think about it. You would never see me again. 1163 01:29:57,809 --> 01:30:00,060 Where do I sign? 1164 01:30:04,941 --> 01:30:07,192 - I'll never see you again? - Never. 1165 01:30:12,240 --> 01:30:14,866 You realize this is my family land? 1166 01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:19,480 Does it please you to rip out my ancestral roots? 1167 01:30:19,580 --> 01:30:22,833 I was born and raised in a briar patch. 1168 01:30:31,801 --> 01:30:34,454 Now Wendy can live a life of leisure. 1169 01:30:34,554 --> 01:30:39,307 Clean air, clean water. This is the way she was destined to live. 1170 01:30:40,101 --> 01:30:43,212 Okay, Gillet. You've broken me. 1171 01:30:43,312 --> 01:30:45,147 I hope you're happy.