1
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,738
(GIRL MOANING)

2
00:00:35,119 --> 00:00:37,120
Come inside,
take off your coat

3
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,371
I'll make you feel at home

4
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,373
(GIRL BREATHING HEAVILY)

5
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,041
Now let's pour
a glass of wine

6
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:44,460
'Cause now we're all alone

7
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,964
(GIRL CONTINUES MOANING)

8
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:51,718
Oh, my God!

9
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,642
Girl you make me
feel real good

10
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,185
That's right.

11
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,563
What's up?

12
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,481
Oh, my God.

13
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,900
My mom was so right.

14
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,236
Nice guys really do
eat the best pussy.

15
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,613
I'm not really sure how to
interpret that. Thank you?

16
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:13,865
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.

17
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,908
How are you so good at that?

18
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,577
I'll let you in
on a trade secret.

19
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,455
I actually write
a short story with my tongue
every time I do it.

20
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,540
It follows this young kid

21
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,417
who finds this
alien in the woods

22
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,335
with all these
Reese's Pieces and stuff.

23
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,504
And he learns that
aliens are just no different.

24
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,714
You just can
connect with anyone.

25
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:33,968
It's kind of like E. T.,
only with a lot more
going down on chicks.

26
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,136
Cool beans.

27
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,262
Yeah, cool beans.

28
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,181
Definitely. Cool little
frozen beans.

29
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,348
Yeah.

30
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,184
All right, so...

31
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,227
Thank you for coming.
Thank you.

32
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,979
Yeah, we should, uh...

33
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,106
We should probably...
Yeah, you should
probably go.

34
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,524
...switch places.

35
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,026
What's that?

36
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,527
(LAUGHS)

37
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,196
I figured...
Don't you have to go?

38
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:58,326
No, no, I just figured
because I made
"mouth love" to you

39
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:02,747
that maybe you could
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Return the favor.

40
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,290
What?

41
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,042
Maybe toss a BJ my way.

42
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,877
If you have time.

43
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,713
Um, my stomach is
super-iffy right now.

44
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:14,342
I think I got
food poisoning.

45
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,927
Baby.

46
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:20,681
So I'm just in no condition
to blow you right now, Noah.

47
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,683
No, yeah, that's cool.
Okay.

48
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,603
Sorry. Next time, sweetie.

49
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,231
Are you sure
you don't want to
come over tonight?

50
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,316
There's this thing called
a geomagnetic storm.

51
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,486
It's really cool
and rare, actually.

52
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,321
It's like
an astronomical explosion

53
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:37,156
in the sky of all
these beautiful colors.

54
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,075
Whoa! (LAUGHS)

55
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,077
Kind of like
Mother Nature's fireworks.

56
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,037
It happens,
like, almost never.

57
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,831
Like I said,
I'm just not feeling good.

58
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,124
But thank you so much
for going down on me.

59
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:51,546
Oh, yeah.
You're really good at,
um, getting going down on,

60
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,464
getting downed on,

61
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:54,966
so you should be proud
of that as well.

62
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,425
Okay, cool. You da man!

63
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,844
You da man.

64
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,346
Peace. You're
the best, sweetie.

65
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,515
Don't stop
believing in yourself,
okay, Maris?

66
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,895
Uncle Ricky,
could you read us
a bedtime story?

67
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,856
Please, huh, please?

68
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,193
Here we go

69
00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:16,362
Once upon a time,
not long ago

70
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,865
Where people wore pajamas
and lived life slow

71
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,158
Where laws were stern
and justice stood

72
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,411
And people were behavin'
like they ought to good

73
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,621
There lived a little boy
who was misled

74
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,082
By another little boy
and this is what he said

75
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,459
Me and you Tike,
we're gonna make some cash

76
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,879
Robbin' old folks
and makin' the dash

77
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,172
They did the job,
money came with ease

78
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,300
But one couldn't stop,
it's like he had a disease

79
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,844
He robbed another and another
and a sister and a brother

80
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,221
Tried to rob a man
who was a D. T. Undercover

81
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,432
The cop grabbed his arm,
he started actin' erratic

82
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,851
He said, "Keep still boy,
no need for static"

83
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,145
Punched him in his belly
and gave him a slap

84
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,522
But little did he know,
the little boy was strapped

85
00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:54,066
The kid pulled outta gun,
he said, "Why'd you hit me?"

86
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,235
The barrel was set straight
for the cop's kidney

87
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,654
Ran up the stairs
up to the top floor

88
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,865
Opened up a door,
there guess who he saw

89
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,075
Dave, the dope fiend
shootin' dope

90
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,411
Who don't know the meaning
of water nor soap?

91
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,788
He said, "I need bullets,
hurry up, run"

92
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,166
The dope fiend rolled back
a spankin' shot gun

93
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,585
This ain't funny,
so don't ya dare laugh

94
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,921
Just another case
about the wrong path

95
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,673
Straight and narrow
or your soul gets cast

96
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,467
Good night

97
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,349
Yo, Mom, what's up?

98
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,475
Noah!

99
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,144
Where were you?
Were you out with
that girl again?

100
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,812
Yeah, but she's not
"that girl," okay?

101
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,148
We're in a relationship.
It's legit.

102
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,317
So have you started
looking for a job yet?

103
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,986
I can't afford to have you
sitting around all day.

104
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:43,950
You're in a period of stasis.
Just a stage of stasis.

105
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,076
Sorry.

106
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,787
You sure you don't
want that beer now?

107
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,914
Or maybe something stronger?
I have absinthe.

108
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,583
Why can't we hit up Dad?
He owes us 10 years
of alimony.

109
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,960
Oh, look, kiddo.

110
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,213
If you're
looking for a handout,
think again times 10.

111
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,715
That guy's a diamond dealer.
He has crazy cash.

112
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,384
Why'd you marry
such an A-hole?

113
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,470
That A-hole gave me
the greatest gift
in the world.

114
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,721
Crabs?

115
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,848
He gave me you.

116
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,976
Okay.
(LAUGHS)

117
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,185
So, tell me,
what do you think?

118
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,728
Do I look okay?
You look amazing.

119
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,689
Why are you so
concerned with your outfit?

120
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,607
Mrs. Pedulla is introducing
me to a surgeon

121
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,401
at the fundraiser at
the Historical Society.

122
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,652
Okay.

123
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,237
She thinks we're
going to hit it off.
Nice.

124
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,197
Well, don't give
it up too easily.

125
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,657
Give what up?
What?

126
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,617
Give what up?
What did...

127
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,119
What the hell are
you talking about?

128
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,203
I don't know.

129
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,830
Have fun. I love you. Okay?
I love you.

130
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,415
(KISSING)

131
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,001
Hey, Mom.
Yeah.

132
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,919
I think you're going to
have a really great night,

133
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,005
and you look beautiful.

134
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,090
Oh. From your lips
to God's ears.

135
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,552
Scientists are
predicting a giant storm
over the city tonight.

136
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,846
A geomagnetic storm, that is.

137
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,889
Caused by
flare-ups on the sun,
(PHONE RINGING)

138
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,683
This rare storm affects
the Earth's magnetic field...

139
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,019
Noah, can you
get the phone?

140
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,187
Mom, the phone's ringing!

141
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,648
Noah, please get the phone!

142
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,984
Mom, the phone's ringing!
Do you hear it?

143
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,279
Noah, can't you think
about somebody else
besides yourself for once?

144
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,364
No, I totally was.
That's why I said
the phone was ringing.

145
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,699
I was letting you
know that it was ringing.

146
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,909
Yeah. I'm thrilled
about tonight.

147
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,913
You flip, but they flop.
You flip, but they flop!

148
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,041
What? Oh, is that right?

149
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,917
NOAH: They perfected
the pancake?

150
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,210
A rain check?

151
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,420
It's a perfect pancake!

152
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,172
No, that's fine.
It's perfect.

153
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,424
Mom, tell whoever's
on the phone

154
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,633
that there's
a perfect pancake.

155
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,552
Thanks.

156
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,263
I'm not going after all.

157
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,931
What? Why?

158
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,393
The Pedullas' sitter
canceled at the last minute.

159
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,314
What?

160
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,900
Do I have shit on my face?

161
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,235
Come on.
Don't tell me you
can't use the money.

162
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,613
Are you crazy?
No. I'm not Mary Poppins.

163
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,449
I'm not gonna be a babysitter.
I'm an adult man.

164
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,243
Okay? Babysitting sucks.
Adult men don't
babysit things.

165
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,913
Oh, Noah, you're
wonderful with children!

166
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,416
You know, never mind.

167
00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:01,170
Who am I kidding?
Finding a guy at my
age is ridiculous.

168
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:05,257
I'm going to change
my dress. (EXHALES)

169
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,885
What are you in
the mood for? Chinese?

170
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,804
(SIGHS) Oh, come on.

171
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,639
(RINGS DOORBELL)

172
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,058
NOAH: Ding-dong!

173
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,521
Noah!

174
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,688
Mrs. Pedulla.

175
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,524
It's so good to see you!

176
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,526
Oh, my gosh.

177
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,654
Get over...
Bring it in for a hug, babe.
What are we doing?

178
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:30,449
God, I haven't see you since
you were, like, 15.

179
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:33,536
Yeah. So Dr. Pedulla,
he's still alive?
You two are still together?

180
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:34,954
Um...

181
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,876
Oh! That's my kind
of TV, right there.

182
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,295
Yeah, well, feel free to
watch anything you want.

183
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,588
Cool.
Yeah.

184
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,090
Hey, Slater?

185
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,636
Anyway, honey, this is Noah.
He's going to be
babysitting tonight.

186
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,471
What happened to Nancy?

187
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:53,639
Honey, we talked about this.

188
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,850
Nancy has a urinary
tract infection, okay?

189
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,726
Is Clayton
coming over tonight?

190
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,396
No, Mom. His tarantula
died from parasites,

191
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,814
and now he's in mourning.

192
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,023
Well, you're in luck, Noah.

193
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,317
The two of them
together are just trouble.

194
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,069
Hey. That's not true.

195
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:10,030
Why do you say that?
You're always attacking us!

196
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,908
Honey, I am not
attacking you.

197
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,618
Okay? Calm down.

198
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,537
(PHONE RINGING)

199
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,622
You know what?
I'll be right back.
Yeah.

200
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,749
Okay? Excuse me
just one second.

201
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,084
Hello?

202
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,254
NOAH: Hey, what are
you watching?

203
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,422
Just watching
some gymnastics.

204
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,548
Cool.

205
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,633
Hey, how old are you, man?

206
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,843
Thirteen.

207
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:31,927
Thirteen?

208
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,930
What am I doing here?
Why aren't you
babysitting yourself?

209
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,223
I'm not a babysitter, okay?

210
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,474
Yeah, neither am I.

211
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,893
If you would just
man up and babysit,

212
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,187
I wouldn't have
to be here tonight.
I could be out having fun.

213
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,439
I have severe anxiety issues.

214
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,609
And my doctor,
he says that I can't

215
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,611
handle any kind
of responsibility,

216
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,614
or else I could just snap
(SNAPS FINGERS)

217
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,032
At any moment.

218
00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:56,243
Jesus Christ, man. Relax.

219
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,204
Okay. Sorry.

220
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,247
Slater, nice to meet you.

221
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:03,042
All right,
should we go upstairs?
Bye, honey.

222
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,294
NOAH: We're gonna have
some fun tonight, pal.

223
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,421
(SINGING)
Roll back nice and easy

224
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,090
Keep your breath inside
so you don't get wheezy

225
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,593
Honey! What did Mommy
tell you about the mascara?
Put it down.

226
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,844
You said I
could play dress-up.

227
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,054
Yeah, I said you
could play dress-up,

228
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,221
not make yourself
look like a hooker.

229
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,348
Look at you!

230
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,601
(LAUGHS) My daughter
Blithe is going through

231
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,978
this whole
"celebutante" phase.

232
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,897
It's kind of unfortunate,
but it's a fad.

233
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,065
That's what they
do in the schools.

234
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,983
It'll pass. I don't know
where they come from.

235
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,068
Kids, right?

236
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,152
Yeah, kids.

237
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,862
Are you the babysitter?

238
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:33,948
Why, in fact, I am.
I'm Noah.

239
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,407
Noah. That's your name?

240
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,533
Yeah.

241
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,035
That's a super-hot name.

242
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,119
What?

243
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:42,122
Honey, it's not hot.
It's just his name.

244
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,750
Mom, trust me.
It's a hot name.

245
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,627
It's actually biblical.

246
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,295
The Bible's a hot book.

247
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,881
Sometimes I like
to get dressed up

248
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:52,299
and wear
my mom's makeup, Noah.

249
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,842
That's cool.
I was thinking

250
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,678
we could dress you up
like a princess.

251
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,846
No, I don't think,
uh... (LAUGHS)

252
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,931
No, honey,

253
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,599
maybe not tonight.
SLATER: Mom!

254
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,934
Excuse me just one second.

255
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,185
Yeah, see you in a sec.

256
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,396
Hey, Noah. I have
a little surprise for you.

257
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,563
Cool. Thanks. What is it?

258
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:09,858
Do you like to smell pretty?

259
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,568
Do I like to what? (YELLS)

260
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,071
(COUGHING) Oh, my God!
You got it right in
my mouth!

261
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,781
Why'd you do that?
(BLITHE GIGGLING)

262
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,366
You just spit on my carpet!

263
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,784
And you just sprayed perfume
in my mouth!

264
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:19,910
What's your problem?

265
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:23,622
My real babysitter, Nancy,
she plays with me
when she babysits.

266
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,874
She does what
I want her to do,
Princess Noah!

267
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,418
You know what?

268
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,378
(WHISPERING) I'm gonna let
you in on a little secret.

269
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,965
I'm not a real babysitter.
(FAKE GASPS)

270
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,008
(WHISPERING) Shocking.

271
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,260
I'm more of
a sit-on-the-couch,
eat-a-burrito,

272
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,679
do-whatever-I-
say-or-I'll-kill-you type
of babysitter.

273
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,265
That's my style, blood.
You understand?

274
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,017
Well, I want to
wear sparkly things,

275
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,768
shiny things,
and glittery stuff

276
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,521
to my favorite
hot nightclub, okay?

277
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,940
(MIMICKING)

278
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,317
Motherfuck!

279
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,610
You guys okay in here?

280
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,070
What's up? Yeah, no, yeah,

281
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,698
I'm just hanging
with this little
angel right here.

282
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:58,991
Yeah, we're just chillin'.

283
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,076
(QUIETLY) That's funny.
Your breath is
really flowery.

284
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,536
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.

285
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,996
Yeah.

286
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,289
Okay, should
we go downstairs?

287
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,582
Yeah, cool.

288
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,377
ANNOUNCER:
Tonight's main event
features crowd favorite

289
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,505
Ricky Fontaine
versus Dustin MacMillan.

290
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,841
MRS. PEDULLA: Rodrigo!

291
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,136
What did I tell you
about fireworks
in the house?

292
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,638
And can you shut
off the kickboxing
for one night, please?

293
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,099
Say, um, hola to Noah.

294
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,268
(HISSING)

295
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,855
We just adopted him
from El Salvador last year

296
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,483
and, you know,
he's going through
some transitions.

297
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,026
NOAH: Okay, cool.
MRS. PEDULLA: Okay, well,

298
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,861
we'll see you later,
all right?

299
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,446
Besos.

300
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,448
Sweet kid.
Yeah.

301
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,075
He's a cutie pie.

302
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,118
(OMINOUS COWBOY
MUSIC PLAYING)

303
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,044
You kind of have to
watch out for Rodrigo.

304
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,463
He has a habit
of running away.

305
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,839
Here, hold on to this.

306
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:59,051
We sewed a GPS chip
into his jacket so we
could keep track of him.

307
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,386
It's kind of like
a LoJack for kids.

308
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,764
Cool. It's just like
a little dot

309
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,058
that follows him,
like a fugitive.

310
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,310
Hey, honey,
we're running late!
Let's go!

311
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,436
So...

312
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,562
DR. PEDULLA: In a minute.

313
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,482
...all of our
information is in here,
under the blue tab.

314
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,567
There's some frozen pizzas
and pudding in the fridge,

315
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,569
and we'll be at
the Historical Society
if you need us.

316
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,987
Cool.

317
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,073
Someone smells wonderful!

318
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,826
I believe
that's Noah's mouth.
You remember Noah.

319
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,410
I understand you
were cited recently

320
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,912
for driving
under the influence.

321
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,665
Needless to say,
our cars are
off-limits to you.

322
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,334
Okay, no cars. Got it.

323
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,419
We'll be back
no later than 1:00.

324
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,089
Earlier's good for me,
too, so hurry home.

325
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,091
And thank you!
Thank you, sweetheart.

326
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,761
What the fuck
am I doing here?

327
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,347
I come in peace.

328
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,684
And you go
in pieces, asshole.

329
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,191
What's up, little man?

330
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,778
(OMINOUS COWBOY
MUSIC PLAYING)

331
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,280
What'd you do that for?

332
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,074
You clean it.

333
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,287
Fucking weirdo.
BLITHE: Hey, Noah!

334
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,038
How's that perfume taste?

335
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,042
Rodrigo, what is
your deal? Stop!

336
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,879
Can we go to a club tonight?
This place is so dead.

337
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,463
No.

338
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,716
Don't you just
want to go dancing
or something?

339
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,470
Rodrigo, seriously,
what is your deal? Stop!

340
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,724
I'm trying to watch TV
with JonBenet Ramsey
over here.

341
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,394
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

342
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,023
That's uncomfortable.

343
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,274
Do you want to
hear some gossip?

344
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,901
I got some hot gossip.

345
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,985
I'm okay, actually.

346
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,988
I'm trying to watch this,
if you (SHUSHING)
Could be quiet.

347
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,406
Give it.

348
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,868
I'm watching this,
so can you guys
just be quiet, please?

349
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:48,952
Thank you.

350
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,829
(WHISPERING) I know
a secret nobody else knows.

351
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,915
(DOORBELL RINGING)

352
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,002
Oh, what's up, twins?
Is Slater home?

353
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,837
Is he here?
Yeah, oh, my God!

354
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,589
Slater!

355
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,383
You got the two redrum
chicks from The Shining
here to see you!

356
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,011
Slater's a cool guy.

357
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,512
TWIN 2: We go to
school together.

358
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:08,847
Oh, my God!

359
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,182
Take care.

360
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,850
Hi, Slater!

361
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,852
Wendy Sapperstein is having
her Bat Mitzvah tonight,

362
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:16,104
and she said it was okay
if some boys wanted
to crash it.

363
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,856
But we only want
the super-cute boys.

364
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,566
I don't know if
I could make it tonight.

365
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,693
My parents
aren't home,

366
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,737
and I'm not really
supposed to go anywhere.

367
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,530
Well, if you want to come,
you can text us.

368
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,657
Yeah, text us, definitely.

369
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:27,699
Okay.

370
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,326
I'll see you later, guys.

371
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,911
TWIN 1: Okay, cool!

372
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,037
(PHONE RINGING)

373
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,080
What's cooking,
good-looking?

374
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,874
You know what?
I'm at a party.

375
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,709
Party? I thought you
had food poisoning.

376
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,044
I did, and then
Steph called me,

377
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,295
and she invited
me to this party.

378
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,630
Do you want to come?
Damn!

379
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,131
I'm doing something
for my mom right now.

380
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,635
I really,
really want to see you.

381
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:50,222
I'm actually, like,
super-horny for you,

382
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,891
and I was thinking
we could have sex.

383
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,310
Like intercourse sex?

384
00:14:55,395 --> 00:15:00,440
Yeah, like full-on
vaginal sex.

385
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,984
(NOAH CLEARING THROAT)

386
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,736
Yeah, I think I can
work something out.
Yeah. For sure.

387
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,862
Awesome.

388
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:09,241
Listen, will you do me
a favor and pick up some
coke on your way?

389
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,995
Yeah, sure.
Do you want anything else,
like beer, mixers?

390
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,413
(LAUGHS) No, I mean, like,

391
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,914
(IN SING-SONG) coke!

392
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,249
You mean blow?

393
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,252
I thought you were
done with that stuff.
That stuff's bad news.

394
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,671
I am done with it.
It's not for me.
It's for Steph,

395
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,756
and it's her birthday.
She asked me for it.

396
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,425
I'm just trying to be
a really good friend
about it.

397
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,343
I don't even know
where I'd get
something like that.

398
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,678
Just call Karl.

399
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,846
Who's Karl?

400
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,848
He's just a super-awesome guy
who sells me drugs.

401
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,851
Used to sell me drugs.

402
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,145
(EXHALING)
Noah...

403
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,273
I only have 150 bucks.

404
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,774
That's more than enough.

405
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,693
Just ask for one ticket,
and he'll hook it up.

406
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:49,448
Leave me alone, asshole!
I'm on the phone
with my boyfriend.

407
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,533
Did you just call me
your boyfriend?

408
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,828
Yeah, I guess I did.
So are you coming or not?

409
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:59,541
Hello? Are you there?

410
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,878
Yeah. Fuck it. I'm in.

411
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,968
Holy shit balls.

412
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,470
A minivan.

413
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,472
That car's not hot at all.

414
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:14,973
NOAH: As much as
I hate to do this,

415
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,391
we're going on
a little field trip.

416
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,727
(KIDS SHOUTING)

417
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,234
(KIDS CONTINUE SHOUTING)

418
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,155
What is your deal?
Why are you
wearing so much makeup?

419
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,824
(SINGING) Looking real fly
on my way to the club

420
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,577
Gonna dance all night
and get fucked up

421
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,413
BLITHE: Say whatever you want.
I know I look good.

422
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,665
All right, one of you guys
has to hop up here with me.

423
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:41,833
I'm not your chauffeur.

424
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,627
What if you hit
somebody or something?

425
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,712
I mean,
it's safer for children
to be in the back seat.

426
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:47,923
You are such a bitch.
Grow a set of nuts.

427
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,800
I beat him for you.

428
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,510
Get his ass.
Guys.

429
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,970
Not again.
Stop being such children.

430
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,680
Hit him in the face, dawg!
Go away.

431
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,474
Stop it.
One thing about Rodrigo.

432
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,601
He's not a bitch,
I'll tell you that much.

433
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,770
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

434
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:22,707
(LAUGHING)
Slater, seriously,

435
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,084
tell me you are not
wearing a fanny pack.

436
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,878
Tell me I'm imagining that
and that's not what
I'm actually seeing.

437
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,297
I need it to carry my pills.

438
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,966
Why do you take
those pills anyway?

439
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,968
I already told you,
I have issues.

440
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,177
Issues?

441
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,846
You look like a Gap model!

442
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,681
When I was your age,
I had a mouth full of braces

443
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,724
and a face like
a Papa John's pizza.

444
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,143
Those are
real issues, my man.

445
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,394
Whatever.

446
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,397
BLITHE: I've got a good idea.
Why don't we go
to a dance club?

447
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,565
Why don't we play a game?

448
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:47,816
Like Spin the Bottle?

449
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,025
No, not like
Spin the Bottle,

450
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,736
like a little game
I invented called
the Shut-the-Fuck-Up Game.

451
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:55,240
First person not to
shut the fuck up loses.
Ready? Go.

452
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,161
(FARTING)

453
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,790
(GROANS) Come on, Rodrigo,
you just lost, buddy.

454
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,876
It was not me.

455
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,043
(GIGGLING)

456
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,128
NOAH: Slater,
that's disgusting.

457
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,588
Didn't your parents
teach you not to fart
in the car?

458
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:10,839
You just crop-dusted me.

459
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,132
No, that was not me.

460
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,468
Uh-oh.
What's "uh-oh"?

461
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,511
It was me. I pooted.

462
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,222
I don't think it
was just a poot-poot.

463
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,142
I sharted.
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

464
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,560
NOAH: Come on!

465
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:34,154
(SINGING) When you're shopping
It's super-cool

466
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,573
Hey, Noah.
Oh, my God,
isn't this shirt so cute?

467
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,908
Oh, it's super-cute!

468
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,201
Can you get it for me?

469
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,286
Yeah! Of course.
I'll get you
anything you want.

470
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,537
Seriously?
No.

471
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,206
Here, put these on.

472
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,083
They're green.
I wouldn't be
caught dead in these.

473
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,418
Don't shit your
pants next time.

474
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:50,712
Dressing room's over there.
Clean up, or whatever.

475
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,922
Can I help you, sir?

476
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,089
Huh?

477
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,424
Can I help you?

478
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:55,717
I'm just waiting
for somebody.

479
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,968
(LAUGHS) Yeah.

480
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,220
Yup!

481
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:01,389
(FAKE LAUGHING)

482
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,391
No.
I'm just waiting
for somebody.

483
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,228
That's pretty weird,
considering
you're a grown-ass man

484
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,438
hanging out
in the little girls'
underwear section.

485
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:09,981
Right. I could see
how that could be

486
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,566
misconstrued as strange,
or whatever.

487
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,984
Very.
They fit. Let's go.

488
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,236
There we go. There she is.

489
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,738
Excuse me, young lady,
do you know this person?

490
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,073
No.
Yeah.

491
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,282
Which is it?

492
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:22,077
He came into my house
and stole my mom's minivan.

493
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,704
Now he's taking
me and my brothers
to get some candy.

494
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:28,291
Okay,
that sounds way, way worse
than it actually is.

495
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,001
Hey, don't I know
you from somewhere?

496
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,587
What? No,
I'm the babysitter.

497
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,506
What?
He's not a real babysitter.

498
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,884
He's a "do-whatever-I-say-
or-I'll-kill-you
type of babysitter."

499
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,135
What?

500
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,303
That sounds way...
That's what he said!

501
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,846
Blithe, shut the fuck up.

502
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,598
Do not tell her to shut up!

503
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,975
Thank you.

504
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,811
Ooh, shit! I remember you!
I went to high school
with your ass!

505
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,646
You came to my
house party one time,

506
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:53,316
got all wasted, and then
you puked in my
grandmama's urn.

507
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,026
And when I asked
you about it, you lied

508
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,695
and ran away like
a little biotch!

509
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,113
I didn't run away
like a little biotch!

510
00:19:58,239 --> 00:19:59,573
I probably just ran
like a normal person.

511
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:03,785
And now you're hanging out
in the little
girls' clothes section.

512
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,245
Can you please
lower your voice?

513
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,705
There are numerous
misunderstandings.

514
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,124
No, no, no.
I'm not buying none of this.
Come on, little girl.

515
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,126
Let me go!
I'm not buying it!

516
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,129
(CLAMORING)

517
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,718
You got some
shit to deal with!

518
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,596
Security!

519
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,974
Why did you say that, Blithe?

520
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,226
You were trying
to make me buy
green underwear.

521
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,894
Green underwear is not hot!

522
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,479
You're the worst
babysitter ever!

523
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,064
(MIMICKING BLITHE)
"You're the worst
babysitter ever!"

524
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,649
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

525
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,318
You guys?

526
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,028
Where's Rodrigo?

527
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,156
I don't know.
I guess he left.

528
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,325
(TIRES SQUEALING)

529
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,079
That's an incredible
observation, Slater.
Where did he go?

530
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,165
I don't know.
I was talking to
my friend Clayton.

531
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,416
Which way did he go?

532
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,584
I don't know!

533
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,211
(GPS TRACKER BEEPING)

534
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,465
Got you, you little bastard.

535
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:03,595
Hey, what's up?

536
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:04,763
May I help you, sir?

537
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,014
Yeah.

538
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,767
I'm looking for
a small Hispanic boy.

539
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:12,103
About 4'8",
leather jacket, pajamas,
cowboy boots.

540
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,772
Have you seen him?
No.

541
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,357
I've not seen
a 4'8" Hispanic boy

542
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,776
in a leather jacket, pajamas,
and cowboy boots.

543
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:18,902
Probably would
have remembered that.

544
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:22,614
Something tells me
you have before,
you fucking asshole.

545
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:29,037
(SINGING) Don't say no
because I insist

546
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:35,585
Somewhere, somehow
someone's got to be kissed

547
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,962
(TOILET FLUSHING)

548
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,925
There you are!
What are you doing in here?

549
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,551
I dropped a bomb.
(OMINOUS COWBOY
MUSIC PLAYING)

550
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:44,886
That's very cute.

551
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,638
Come on, wash your hands.

552
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,309
(LAUGHING)

553
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:53,436
What's so funny?

554
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:57,899
Oh, shit!

555
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,901
Oh, shit,
what are you doing?

556
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:00,985
(NOAH STAMMERING)

557
00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:02,487
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

558
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,657
MAN: What is
going on back there?

559
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:08,326
It's all good!
Just continue eating
your meals. I know him.

560
00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:09,577
He's a friend of mine.

561
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,746
That looks good.
What is that?

562
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:13,998
You run away again,
and I'll break your legs!

563
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:15,166
Then I bite your ear!

564
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,252
What? I bite your what?
I eat your ear.

565
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,838
I bite it off with my teeth,
then you don't hear nothing.

566
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:21,423
That's very specific.

567
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,764
(SIGHING) All right.
I've got to pick up some
candy for my girlfriend.

568
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,224
So you guys
wait here and watch

569
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,642
little bin Laden
back there, okay?

570
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,936
This isn't about
getting candy, is it?

571
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,855
Lock the doors,
keep your head
between your legs.

572
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:39,858
Don't move
or talk to anybody
or look at anybody.

573
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,192
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

574
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,570
(SOFTLY) Don't you
fuck with me, Rodrigo.

575
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:49,868
WOMAN: Hey, mister!
Hey, over here!

576
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:53,037
I do top shit or bottom,
whatever you want.

577
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,418
Noah Griffith?

578
00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,544
Yeah.

579
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,879
Are you Karl?

580
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,213
(GARV GIGGLES AND SNORTS)

581
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:05,049
No, I fucking wish, papi.

582
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:08,261
If you want to see Karl,
I'm gonna have to, like,

583
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,139
strip-search you.

584
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:15,810
Okay, we're good.
I believed you.

585
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,813
Follow me!

586
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,440
What the fuck?

587
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:23,776
(ESCAPE (THE PINA COLADA SONG)
PLAYING)

588
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,905
GARV: This way.

589
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,239
Hey, Eduardo!

590
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,491
(GRUNTS)

591
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,576
He's really cranky.

592
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,337
(INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV)

593
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:56,309
That's Russ.
He's got an attitude.

594
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:01,689
You're such a slowpoke.

595
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,198
Come on.

596
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,165
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

597
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:38,434
It's okay.
Do it again.
Do it again.

598
00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:41,396
One more time.

599
00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:44,190
That's good. I like that.

600
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:52,991
Hey, Karl!

601
00:24:53,075 --> 00:24:54,158
Oh, my God! You scared me!

602
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:56,578
You scared me,
sneaking up on me
like a little squirrel!

603
00:24:56,704 --> 00:24:58,162
You have a visitor.

604
00:24:58,247 --> 00:24:59,664
KARL: Dude,
the roller skates.

605
00:24:59,748 --> 00:25:02,041
You're going to
get track marks
all over my mahogany floors.

606
00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:03,167
Are you serious?

607
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:05,545
Go get me a smoothie.
Get out of my face.

608
00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:07,630
GARV: You're no fun.
KARL: You're no fun.

609
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:10,341
Oh, my God. Hi. Hi.

610
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:13,845
You must be Noah Griffith.
I've been waiting
for you all night.

611
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:15,847
What's up?
I'm Karl with a "K."

612
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,015
Sorry about the banging.

613
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:18,683
We're doing some
slight renovations,
as you can see.

614
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,059
We're knocking
down some walls

615
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:21,394
so we can get
a little more
square footage in here.

616
00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:22,979
A little more elbow room.

617
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,355
Uh, that's awesome.

618
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,648
What's awesome about it?

619
00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:27,150
Huh?

620
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,776
Why is that awesome?

621
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:34,574
More room for bodybuilders
and experiments and stuff.

622
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,618
(LAUGHS)

623
00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:39,245
That's funny!
You're funny, Noah Griffith.

624
00:25:39,330 --> 00:25:40,747
You're really funny.

625
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:44,167
Thank you.
You're very cool
as well. So...

626
00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:46,252
You sure we haven't met?

627
00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:49,589
Déjà vu.

628
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:51,924
Hey, check this out.

629
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:53,551
This is an art project.

630
00:25:53,636 --> 00:25:56,971
It's made from
the shell of an ancient
baby dinosaur egg.

631
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:59,724
We like to package our
product artistically.

632
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,602
And prehistorically. Bump?

633
00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:05,313
I'm fine, thanks.
(KARL SNORTING)

634
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:07,398
(LAUGHING)

635
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:11,069
I like you, Noah Griffith!
You're so shy.

636
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,738
You're so gorgeous and shy.
You remind me of
my Aunt Shirley.

637
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,948
She was Asian.
Are you biracial?

638
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,618
Karl! I got shot!

639
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:19,827
Oh, my God.

640
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:20,995
I got shot, Karl.

641
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,121
Oh, my God.

642
00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:24,082
Don't let me die
on this floor, Karl.

643
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,500
Who shot at you?

644
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,961
Angelo on 14th Street
shot me in my tummy, Karl.

645
00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:30,505
He shot me in my tummy.

646
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:31,881
KARL: Oh, my God.

647
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:35,009
Please, someone, please!
Somebody get me a doctor!

648
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,970
Please, someone...
Do you know CPR?

649
00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:39,097
What? I don't know.

650
00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:40,556
Do you know CPR?

651
00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:42,016
I don't even
think mouth-to-mouth

652
00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:43,434
will help this
particular situation.

653
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:44,852
Why doesn't Garv do it?

654
00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:46,354
(WHINING)

655
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:48,773
Karl, don't let me die!

656
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:49,941
I have kids, man.

657
00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:52,652
My God. Jesus Christ.

658
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,862
Fucking hell!

659
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:56,572
Somebody help me.

660
00:26:58,158 --> 00:26:59,242
Fine! What?

661
00:26:59,326 --> 00:27:00,326
Help me, please.

662
00:27:00,411 --> 00:27:01,619
He's going into shock.

663
00:27:01,704 --> 00:27:03,121
Please, help me.
Oh, God.

664
00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:04,997
Now, please, hurry up.

665
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:07,166
What's up, fool?

666
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:08,835
KARL: Got you!

667
00:27:08,919 --> 00:27:10,294
What's happening right now?

668
00:27:10,379 --> 00:27:12,588
I don't understand.
Are you okay?
What, is this a joke?

669
00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:15,508
I got him! I got him!

670
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:18,344
I could smell your
breath that time.
You were so close.

671
00:27:18,429 --> 00:27:19,721
What's happening?

672
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:21,055
You're so adorable.

673
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,682
You just fell
for a little prank.

674
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:23,891
Prank?

675
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,017
Around here,
we pull pranks and shit

676
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:27,103
to make sure people
aren't undercover pigs

677
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,479
'cause we kill
pigs around here.

678
00:27:28,564 --> 00:27:30,398
This is Julio,
my business partner.

679
00:27:31,525 --> 00:27:32,650
This is Kool-Aid, man.

680
00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:35,069
KARL: Come on over here.
Let's get down to business.

681
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,904
(LOUD MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)

682
00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:38,823
SLATER: Right there,
there are prostitutes

683
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:40,324
and there are
people with guns.

684
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,452
And I don't want
to get shot tonight.

685
00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:45,872
(SINGING) She ain't nothin'
but a hoochie mama
Hoodrat, hoodrat hoochie mama

686
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,832
Oh, I love those
big brown eyes

687
00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:49,667
And the way you
shake your thighs

688
00:27:49,752 --> 00:27:51,544
Acting like
you're so damn cute

689
00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,379
Just let your boy
just slide them boots

690
00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:56,090
KARL: You got my money?
NOAH: Yeah.

691
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:57,842
JULIO: Yeah!
KARL: Put out your hand.

692
00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,552
Here's one ticket.

693
00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:01,721
Trick or treat,
smell my feet.

694
00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,222
How do you know Marisa?

695
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,682
You know Marisa?

696
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,351
She is my girlfriend,
actually.

697
00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:10,938
(LAUGHING)

698
00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:12,607
Come on, man, stop it!

699
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:15,359
Karl.

700
00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:17,278
There's some kid here.

701
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:19,447
KARL: You didn't call
the fuzz, did you, Noah?

702
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,032
No. Rodrigo.

703
00:28:21,784 --> 00:28:24,786
What are you doing?
Go back to the car.
How'd you even get in here?

704
00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:26,454
I pee-pee now.

705
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:28,623
He's with you?

706
00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:29,916
Yeah, I'm, uh babysitting.

707
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,042
Babysitting?

708
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:32,752
You need to go
back to the car,

709
00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:34,378
because you already
went pee-pee. Okay?

710
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,297
I pee-pee.
Pee your pants.

711
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,216
What's your problem, man?
Let him take a piss!

712
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:39,884
Trying to make a little kid
hold in his pee-pee!

713
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:41,677
That's right. Oye, Fonzie.

714
00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:43,554
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

715
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:45,556
You go pee-pee.

716
00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:46,766
KARL: Don't make a mess!

717
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,142
Come in for a bear hug.

718
00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,187
Get outta here.
Put that handshake away.

719
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:53,147
Better hug this
motherfucker if you know
what's good for you.

720
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,649
Hug him tight!

721
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,985
Swordfight up in
this motherfucker!
Pull it together!

722
00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,070
(GROANS)

723
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:00,988
KARL: Have a great night.
(GRUNTS)

724
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,700
Okay, I know
we had a few setbacks,
but we're almost done.

725
00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,828
I just gotta drop
off this package
to my girlfriend,

726
00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:08,496
say a quick hi-ho to her,

727
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,414
then I'm going
to turn us around
and take us home.

728
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,916
I know I can be a bit
of a prick sometimes,

729
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,793
so I want to thank you guys
for being patient.

730
00:29:13,877 --> 00:29:15,253
BLITHE: Okay,
so we're gonna go

731
00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:16,629
to my favorite
club in New York City,

732
00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:17,797
and you're gonna come...

733
00:29:17,881 --> 00:29:18,881
Hey, buddy,
what you got there?

734
00:29:18,966 --> 00:29:19,924
RODRIGO: I no know.

735
00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:21,259
I find it in bathroom.

736
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,011
Shit!

737
00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:29,433
Rodrigo,
give that to me right now.

738
00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:31,185
I'm serious, man.
Give it to me right now.

739
00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:32,645
No way. Finder keepers.

740
00:29:32,729 --> 00:29:35,022
Put it in my hand right now!

741
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,148
No.

742
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:37,483
Rodrigo.
No.

743
00:29:37,568 --> 00:29:39,402
Just... Just let go!

744
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:41,112
It's mine.

745
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,738
Let it go!
Just give it to me!

746
00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:45,366
BLITHE: You're
both such booger faces.
Stop fighting!

747
00:29:46,201 --> 00:29:47,535
Let go!
Okay.

748
00:29:49,872 --> 00:29:51,205
It's snowing!

749
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:57,670
What the fuck?

750
00:29:57,754 --> 00:29:59,213
(PHONE RINGING)

751
00:30:11,059 --> 00:30:12,476
Hello?
Noah Griffith!

752
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,020
Hey!

753
00:30:14,104 --> 00:30:16,606
Hey, Karl, what's up?
How did you get this number?

754
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:18,399
I got it off
your Facebook page,

755
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:21,110
as I was trying to friend you
as you were walking out.

756
00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:24,405
Anyway,
as I was friending you,
Julio noticed that

757
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:26,866
maybe you stole
a baby dinosaur egg
from me.

758
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:29,076
And it's just,
like, I'm confused.

759
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:32,121
You know what I mean?
Because I'm thinking
that we're friends,

760
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:35,833
and then all of a sudden,
I don't know, it's like...

761
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:38,711
I really liked you, you know?

762
00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:42,381
Karl, just relax, please.
I'm sorry,
I don't have your drugs.

763
00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,467
The kid I'm babysitting,
he took one of your eggs,

764
00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:45,760
and I was trying
to get it back

765
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,053
and it accidentally
splashed in my face.

766
00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:48,971
Fucking shut the fuck up.

767
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,431
Unless I get my drugs back

768
00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:54,101
or my money back,
I'm going to kill you!

769
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,853
I'll fucking kill you!

770
00:30:55,938 --> 00:30:57,813
I want you to meet me
at Wing's Fish Market.

771
00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:58,898
Where?

772
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:01,317
Wing's Fish Market.
It's in Chinese Town.

773
00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:05,529
You meet me there in
one hour with my 10 grand,
or you're dead meat.

774
00:31:05,614 --> 00:31:07,698
Um, okay. Thanks, bye.

775
00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:10,284
I have to go pee-pee now.

776
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:13,996
You're holding it in
this time, asshole.

777
00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:26,175
It'll be all right.

778
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:28,344
I thought he was my friend.

779
00:31:33,684 --> 00:31:35,267
It's all right.

780
00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:41,691
Shut up!
I wanna go home.

781
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:43,901
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
I don't know
what you're saying.

782
00:31:43,986 --> 00:31:45,403
Don't. Stop it!
Stop! No!

783
00:31:45,487 --> 00:31:46,904
BLITHE: No, my lip gloss!
Give it back!

784
00:31:46,989 --> 00:31:49,907
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!

785
00:31:49,992 --> 00:31:51,242
What are you
getting mad at us for?

786
00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:54,578
Because Rodrigo
here is a thief,
and now I'm in deep shit.

787
00:31:54,663 --> 00:31:56,455
And the worst
part of all of this

788
00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:58,290
is that I'm stuck
here with you three.

789
00:31:58,375 --> 00:32:01,168
You, you got more issues
than a magazine stand.

790
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,295
And, you, wipe the makeup
off your face, Picasso.

791
00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:05,423
What are you, a mob wife?

792
00:32:05,507 --> 00:32:07,675
And, you, you're the worst.

793
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:09,427
I know you're a little kid,
and I know I'm not

794
00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,178
supposed to say this
kind of stuff to you,

795
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,514
but fuck you.

796
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,307
Fuck you so much.

797
00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:16,600
You're a douche.

798
00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,436
Look, Noah,
if you hate us that much,

799
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,271
then just drop us
off with our parents.

800
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:24,025
You know what?
That's an amazing idea.
Let's go.

801
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:39,123
I've seen the way
you look at me

802
00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:44,253
I know the things you say
when I'm not there

803
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,967
But when you're here
alone with me

804
00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:54,555
Baby, don't pretend
that you don't care

805
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:59,310
Come on, let the feeling begin

806
00:32:59,394 --> 00:33:02,938
Come on, baby
Come on, yeah

807
00:33:05,275 --> 00:33:09,278
Don't stop
when the feeling begins

808
00:33:11,073 --> 00:33:15,201
Come on. I've changed
my mind. I need to clean
up my mess myself.

809
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:20,372
All right, ideas,
ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas.

810
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:23,459
Okay. Slater,
can you get off the phone?

811
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:25,336
I need an idea.
You can text your buddy
Clayton later, okay?

812
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:26,921
Yeah, man, seriously!

813
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,006
SLATER: It's not Clayton.
It's those twins,

814
00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:30,841
and they want me to
go to Prospect Hall

815
00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:32,635
for Wendy Sapperstein's
Bat Mitzvah.

816
00:33:32,719 --> 00:33:35,221
That's, like,
a pretty swanky
joint, right?

817
00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:37,515
Yeah, the Sappersteins
are totally loaded

818
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,767
and she's,
like, crazy spoiled.

819
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:40,893
Spoiled.

820
00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:44,188
So lots of gifts,
lots of cash.

821
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:48,275
Slater, you're a genius.
You're a genius, dude!

822
00:33:51,905 --> 00:33:54,240
All right, let's go,
let's go, let's go!

823
00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:56,617
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Hustle!

824
00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:00,287
All right, come on, kids.
Come on.

825
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,206
All right, thank you.

826
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:03,874
BLITHE: This place
looks like a party.

827
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,459
NOAH: Keep walking,
keep walking.

828
00:34:06,628 --> 00:34:08,796
WENDY: Maybe you should
just invite anyone you know,

829
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,006
anyone who's ugly,
because they
seem to all be here!

830
00:34:11,675 --> 00:34:12,967
MRS. SAPPERSTEIN:
That's very nice.

831
00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,301
Is that what
the rabbis taught you?

832
00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:17,137
Mom! This is my night.
It's my celebration,

833
00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:19,723
and I did not
invite these nerds
to my Bat Mitzvah!

834
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:23,102
What more can I do for you?
Rent the Taj Ma-fucking-hal
for you?

835
00:34:23,186 --> 00:34:26,981
There's so much
blue cheese here,
it smells like barf, Mom!

836
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:30,067
Damn, Wendy Sapperstein's
a big ol' bitch!

837
00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:31,443
Yeah, she scares me.

838
00:34:31,528 --> 00:34:33,404
All right, guys,
we're gonna stay
under the radar.

839
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:34,989
Okay? Keep it low profile.

840
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:37,408
Did you hear
what I just said?

841
00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:39,201
I said low profile!
All right?

842
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,289
Stop puncturing balloons!
Do you understand me?
(SHUSHING)

843
00:34:44,124 --> 00:34:46,750
Noah, Noah. Does this place
have bottle service?

844
00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:48,210
I want a Red Bull and vodka.

845
00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:49,503
No, you don't.
You don't even know

846
00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:50,754
what that is.
It's bad for you.

847
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,673
Slater! You showed up!

848
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:54,550
We've been looking
all over for you!

849
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:55,801
Oh. Hey.

850
00:34:55,886 --> 00:34:57,011
TWIN 1: We've been
dancing all night.

851
00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:58,679
TWIN 2: Yeah,
this Bat Mitzvah
is the best!

852
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:01,265
It's like Jew city
out there, and we're the
fucking mayors.

853
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:02,391
You ready to go dance?

854
00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:05,769
He's ready to go dance.
This guy was born to dance.

855
00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:07,104
You want to come?
Come on. Let's go.

856
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:08,147
You big stud.

857
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:10,274
Time to go make
a Slater sandwich!

858
00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:12,401
Some of that gingerbread,
my man.

859
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:16,697
No bathrooms,
you understand me,
Rodrigo? No baño.

860
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:18,198
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

861
00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:20,784
You're a pendejo.
You're a puto.

862
00:35:20,869 --> 00:35:22,286
You're a puta, bitch.

863
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:23,704
I'm gonna
fuck you up, dawg!

864
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:44,141
Noah Griffith?

865
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:45,476
Uh, hey.

866
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,685
That's you, right?

867
00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,228
Yeah. What's up?
How's it going?

868
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:49,480
It's Roxanne.

869
00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:51,941
I lived in
the dorms down the hall
from you, freshman year.

870
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:53,734
That's right.
We were in Astronomy, right?

871
00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,277
Yeah, I sat behind
you in Astronomy.

872
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:57,571
We were,
like, the only two students
who seemed to give a shit.

873
00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:58,822
(CHUCKLES)
That's right. Yeah.

874
00:35:58,907 --> 00:36:01,825
You made that
scale model of Saturn
with a cantaloupe, right?

875
00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:03,661
Oh, shit, yeah.
That was you.

876
00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:05,412
That thing was fresh.
That was cool.
Yeah, that was me.

877
00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:07,748
Did you know about
the geomagnetic
storm tonight?

878
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:09,708
I did. I'm gonna
check it out. Are you?

879
00:36:09,793 --> 00:36:10,960
I'm actually kind
of excited for it.

880
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,211
Yeah. For sure.

881
00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:14,088
Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
Yeah, it's gonna
be pretty cool.

882
00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:17,091
BANDLEADER: Stay
on that dance floor!
It's time for the hora!

883
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:18,592
(GUESTS CHEERING)
Wow!

884
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:21,261
Hava Nagila, yeah.
You gonna go on the chair?

885
00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:22,846
I don't think so.
Yeah?

886
00:36:22,931 --> 00:36:24,348
No. No chair for me.

887
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:27,101
I can't believe you're here.
Like, I haven't
seen you in forever.

888
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,853
Yeah, I'm actually
not in school this year.

889
00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:31,105
That sucks.

890
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:34,525
But I'm working
right now, obviously.

891
00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:35,818
But once I get off work,

892
00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:37,820
I'm going to a pool hall
with some of my co-workers.

893
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,530
Would you want to come?
Oh, cool.

894
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:42,199
That would be great,
but I'm actually

895
00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:44,868
in the middle of
a situation currently.

896
00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:46,704
Oh, yeah. No worries.
I just thought I'd ask.

897
00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:48,414
No. Thank you.
Any other time.

898
00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:50,958
Oh, my God.

899
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:55,295
Oh, shit.

900
00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:56,922
It was great
running into you again.

901
00:36:57,007 --> 00:36:58,215
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God!

902
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,135
Put your fucking dick away!

903
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:03,137
You're getting
piss all over me!

904
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,472
You're getting
piss all over my feet!

905
00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:07,099
Watch out. Come on.

906
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:09,560
BLITHE: Happy birthday,
Wendy!
NOAH: Mazel tov, Wendy.

907
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:11,145
(BLITHE YELLING)
What were you doing?

908
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:13,939
You do not take a piss
in the middle
of a party, okay?

909
00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:16,483
You don't piss in the middle
of a Bat Mitzvah, you idiot!

910
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:17,901
Clayton?

911
00:37:17,986 --> 00:37:19,486
(SOFTLY) Oh, shit.

912
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:22,322
What are you doing here?
What about your tarantula?

913
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:23,824
Oh, I got over that, man.

914
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,242
It's just a spider, bro.

915
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:27,745
Since when do you hang out
with Benji Gillespie?

916
00:37:27,829 --> 00:37:29,913
Look, I can hang out
with as many other
people as I want.

917
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,415
I don't think you
understand that.

918
00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:33,333
I'm getting kind of sick
of going to your house
all the time

919
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:34,835
and watching tennis.

920
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:36,253
We do other shit.

921
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:38,839
No, we don't!
You don't do anything!

922
00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:41,091
I can't just
always hang around you.

923
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:44,011
I don't get why
you're being mean to me.

924
00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,763
He doesn't want to hang out
with you anymore, bro.

925
00:37:45,847 --> 00:37:47,097
How hard is it to
understand that?

926
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:51,018
Just stop
calling and texting him
all the time. It's weird.

927
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:54,980
Is that true?

928
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,149
See you around.

929
00:37:58,651 --> 00:37:59,943
Yo.

930
00:38:01,029 --> 00:38:02,071
Hey, man. You all right?

931
00:38:02,155 --> 00:38:03,447
Those guys fucking with you?
Yeah, I'm fine.

932
00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:04,615
You okay?

933
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:05,741
Yeah, just leave me alone!

934
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:11,246
Hi. I'm so sorry to
have to say this to you.

935
00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:14,958
It's just that I can't
seem to find your car.

936
00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:17,753
What do you mean,
you can't find my car?

937
00:38:18,046 --> 00:38:20,964
Well, I think we lost it.

938
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:23,634
You didn't lose
your Morrissey box set.
Where's my fucking car, dude?

939
00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:24,802
(SOBS)

940
00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:26,762
Did you lose it
or you taking
a shit right now?

941
00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:28,096
A little of both.

942
00:38:28,181 --> 00:38:29,473
There's no
"a little bit"
of taking a shit.

943
00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:31,016
You're either
shitting your pants
or you're not.

944
00:38:32,852 --> 00:38:35,646
Stop crying, all right?
It's not going
to solve anything.

945
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:37,397
Let's go find this shit.
All right?

946
00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:40,150
Hey, look! There it is!

947
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:42,694
Oh, thank God we found it.

948
00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:45,781
That's not
finding it, you idiot.
Someone stole it.

949
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:47,616
Oh, poo.

950
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:57,125
Three thousand bucks.

951
00:38:57,210 --> 00:38:58,710
Is that good?

952
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:03,549
No. It's not.
We need 7,000 more.
And it's almost 11:00.

953
00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,300
Hey, Noah, I have an idea.

954
00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:07,010
How about you start your own
signature fragrance?

955
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:08,303
That's a great idea!

956
00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:09,721
I'll just alert
my team of scientists,

957
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:11,139
have them
invent a new perfume.

958
00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:12,808
We'll start
selling it and we'll have

959
00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:14,393
seven grand in
the next 45 minutes!

960
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:16,061
You're such a jerk.

961
00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:17,688
God damn it,
my fucking shin.

962
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,189
I'm just trying to help.

963
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,441
All I know is,
is I'm going to be
a famous celebrity

964
00:39:21,526 --> 00:39:23,694
who designs on the side,
and I'm going to be rich.

965
00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:25,195
What the hell are
you talking about?

966
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,905
You do know that just
being a celebrity and

967
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,199
having a good time is
not a real job, right?

968
00:39:29,284 --> 00:39:31,034
Yeah, it is!
Being a famous celebrity

969
00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:32,494
is the greatest
thing in the world!

970
00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:34,079
It means people
take your picture.

971
00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:35,706
You get to have
birthday parties at

972
00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:37,249
the coolest clubs
and dance on tables.

973
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,919
Even for a small child,
you sound like an idiot.

974
00:39:41,170 --> 00:39:42,170
(NOAH SIGHS)

975
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,964
What are you
walking away for?

976
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:45,883
What's your problem,
drama queen?

977
00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:48,635
My problem is that
my best friend Clayton

978
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,345
doesn't want to hang out
with me anymore

979
00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:52,014
because he
doesn't like me back,

980
00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:55,976
and he'd rather hang out
with an asshole
named Benji Gillespie.

981
00:39:56,060 --> 00:39:57,561
That is my problem!

982
00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,771
Okay, well...

983
00:39:59,856 --> 00:40:00,856
You'll make another friend.

984
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:01,940
No.

985
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,610
No, I won't.

986
00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:06,737
Well, I don't know
the inner workings
of your friendship,

987
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:09,323
but if he doesn't
like you, then screw him.

988
00:40:09,866 --> 00:40:11,158
(HORN BLARING)

989
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:14,369
All right, train's coming!

990
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:15,996
Let's go!

991
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:26,256
If you only knew
what it was like

992
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:31,595
Hoping that
you see the light

993
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:36,308
And you always
put up a fight

994
00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:40,395
I get lost within your stare

995
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,273
(INAUDIBLE)

996
00:40:43,358 --> 00:40:46,944
When we breathe the same air

997
00:40:48,029 --> 00:40:51,615
I see you everywhere

998
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:03,710
Oh, if you only knew

999
00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:06,004
BLITHE: Whoa.

1000
00:41:08,758 --> 00:41:10,384
NOAH: It's like
actual China.

1001
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:14,304
Excuse me.
Is this Wing's Fish Market?

1002
00:41:14,389 --> 00:41:17,432
You must be Noah Griffith.
Mr. Karl is expecting you.

1003
00:41:19,352 --> 00:41:20,435
Wait here, all right?

1004
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,561
So,

1005
00:41:22,105 --> 00:41:23,772
did you get my money?
(CLEARS THROAT) Um...

1006
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:26,942
Garv, can I get some
chili flakes, please?

1007
00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:28,944
(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
Garv, honey.

1008
00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:30,779
Look at me. Look at me!

1009
00:41:30,863 --> 00:41:32,823
Uh, yes,
I have money right here.

1010
00:41:32,907 --> 00:41:34,908
Garv? Oh, boy.
Here you go. I got it.

1011
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,451
Not listening.
He's got the headphones on.

1012
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:38,954
I got the cash
right here for you.
Here you go.

1013
00:41:39,539 --> 00:41:41,707
So how do you guys
all know each other?

1014
00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:43,542
KARL: What the fuck
difference does it make?

1015
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:45,043
JULIO: We got a problem.
What's the problem?

1016
00:41:45,128 --> 00:41:47,212
My man! You got $3,000 here.

1017
00:41:47,296 --> 00:41:50,173
You are short $7,000!

1018
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:51,341
Short?

1019
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:53,343
Okay, I have checks.

1020
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:54,720
Are you kidding me?
Checks, yes.

1021
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:56,555
Checks! What's the matter
with you? (LAUGHING)

1022
00:41:56,973 --> 00:41:58,807
Who the fuck is
Wendy Sapperstein?

1023
00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:01,059
The Sappersteins
are loaded,

1024
00:42:01,144 --> 00:42:02,519
so they're not gonna
miss the money at all.

1025
00:42:02,603 --> 00:42:05,772
Garv! Please, chili flakes!
You don't listen!

1026
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,524
So you can sign
the check over to yourself.

1027
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:08,859
KARL: I'll count to three.

1028
00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:10,318
One.
Sign the checks over?

1029
00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:11,820
Two.
Yeah, sign the checks
over to yourself.

1030
00:42:11,904 --> 00:42:13,363
Three. Good night.

1031
00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:16,033
(GARV CRYING OUT IN PAIN)

1032
00:42:16,117 --> 00:42:17,159
Did you hear that?

1033
00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:18,201
GARV: (SOBBING)
Why'd you do that?

1034
00:42:18,286 --> 00:42:20,037
Drop him off at
the podiatrist.

1035
00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:22,456
Make his mom a mix CD
with an apology letter.

1036
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:23,540
(WAILING)

1037
00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:26,251
JULIO: I told you, dawg.
Now your foot
match your asshole.

1038
00:42:26,586 --> 00:42:28,378
(SPEAKING CANTONESE)

1039
00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:32,049
Hey!
Hey, Karl!

1040
00:42:32,133 --> 00:42:33,341
Hey, Marisa.

1041
00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:35,093
Where you at?
I'm at a party!

1042
00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:36,720
A party?
What?

1043
00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:38,764
I'm always down to party.

1044
00:42:38,848 --> 00:42:41,516
All right,
text me the address.
All right, baby.

1045
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,560
We're gonna meet
you at this party
at midnight.

1046
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:44,895
If you don't
have my seven grand,

1047
00:42:44,979 --> 00:42:48,356
Julio's gonna tickle
your girlfriend's
asshole with a feather.

1048
00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:50,734
How'd you get that name
"The Feather" again?

1049
00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:54,154
Let me tell the story, man.
My joint got
a little curve to it.

1050
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,656
So I go up in there,
and it tickles
the lady's asshole.

1051
00:42:56,741 --> 00:42:58,575
Tickle, tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle, tickle.

1052
00:42:58,659 --> 00:43:01,078
My joint goes in
and comes out
at the same time,

1053
00:43:01,162 --> 00:43:02,454
you know what I'm saying?
Tickle, tickle.

1054
00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:03,830
Tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle, tickle.
Yeah.

1055
00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:05,332
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1056
00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:08,794
See, when I'm stoking,
I see the head,

1057
00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:11,838
although I'm in it,
my head is popping out.

1058
00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:13,673
Still, like that.
Like a U-turn.

1059
00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:16,426
My joint make
a U-turn in that ass.

1060
00:43:16,511 --> 00:43:20,180
The Feather is in
effect since 1981, son.

1061
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,226
My joint be
pop-locking in that ass.

1062
00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,269
It go in your ass
and come out your ass,
like that.

1063
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:27,437
See what I'm saying?

1064
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,481
Come here. Give me a hug.

1065
00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:31,108
Give him a fucking hug!
Don't be shy.

1066
00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:33,026
You're so shy. Come here.

1067
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:34,569
Hug me tight.

1068
00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:36,947
It's okay.
It's our little secret.

1069
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:39,032
But I want you to
think about something.

1070
00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:42,452
Garv was my third
best friend in the world,

1071
00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:46,289
and I shot him in the feet
for being a bad listener.

1072
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:48,792
You're my eighth
best friend in the world,

1073
00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:51,461
and you stole from me.
From my home!

1074
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,797
You're gonna meet me
at that party at midnight.

1075
00:43:54,674 --> 00:43:56,383
And if you don't
get my seven grand,

1076
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,135
let's just say
it's gonna be bad.

1077
00:43:58,219 --> 00:44:00,220
Real fucking bad!

1078
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:02,889
Now get out of here!

1079
00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:05,225
Stop staring at me
with those gorgeous eyes.

1080
00:44:05,685 --> 00:44:06,726
All right, guys, let's go.

1081
00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:07,811
Can we go home?

1082
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:09,229
No, I have to see somebody.

1083
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:11,314
I don't want to see anybody.
Let's just go home.

1084
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:13,567
Believe me, Slater,
I don't want to see
this person, either.

1085
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:15,026
(DOORBELL RINGS)

1086
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,987
God damn it.

1087
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:18,572
Hey, Beth?

1088
00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:22,659
Noah. What are
you doing here?

1089
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:25,245
I am babysitting
these children.

1090
00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:27,330
Looks like we finally
have something
in common, right?

1091
00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:29,833
I'm not your
babysitter anymore, Noah.

1092
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,752
Oh, you're not. That's right!
Because you fucked my dad

1093
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:35,922
while he was still
married to my mom and
ruined my life. I forgot!

1094
00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,340
Is he home, by the way?

1095
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,511
Seven thousand dollars?

1096
00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:43,930
Yes.

1097
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:47,267
There is no way in hell
I'm giving you
seven grand, so...

1098
00:44:47,602 --> 00:44:52,522
Dad, you screwed Mom
and I out of child support
and alimony.

1099
00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:55,358
Just do this one thing.
We'll call it even.
All right?

1100
00:44:55,443 --> 00:44:59,446
You know, I have to say,
it is always some
justification with you.

1101
00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:01,948
You are never gonna grow up
with that attitude.

1102
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:04,951
Okay, don't do that.
Don't do that. Okay?

1103
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,454
Don't pretend like
you care how I turn out.

1104
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:10,457
Let's be very,
very straightforward
with one another.

1105
00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:11,625
Okay?

1106
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:12,709
Okay.

1107
00:45:12,793 --> 00:45:15,211
I'm in a jam. Okay?

1108
00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:18,214
That's why I'm here,
because I need your help.

1109
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:20,300
And I'm sorry.

1110
00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:23,553
I just need you to
be my dad for a day.
That's it.

1111
00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:25,972
And I'm sorry.
I can't help you.

1112
00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:29,643
You know what, pal?
It's not my problem.

1113
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,729
I mean, it's really
not my problem.

1114
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,648
Okay.

1115
00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:38,568
Daddy? Can we look
at the telescope now?

1116
00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:40,070
Oh, hey, buddy.

1117
00:45:40,154 --> 00:45:42,489
Of course.
Excuse me a second.

1118
00:45:42,573 --> 00:45:44,574
I want you to do me a favor.

1119
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:47,410
I want you to
go in the kitchen
and get a little bite to eat

1120
00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:49,746
for the two of us.
I'll be right in, okay?

1121
00:45:50,289 --> 00:45:51,581
That a boy!

1122
00:45:54,251 --> 00:45:57,671
There's a geomagnetic
storm tonight. I forgot.

1123
00:45:57,797 --> 00:45:59,255
I got thrown off.

1124
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,174
So...
I didn't even know.

1125
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:02,842
Yeah, I have to go.

1126
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:11,601
You smell like perfume.
You got a lot of
perfume on you.

1127
00:46:11,686 --> 00:46:14,020
I know. I know I do.

1128
00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:18,274
Why?

1129
00:46:23,864 --> 00:46:25,365
Gotcha, bitch.

1130
00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:27,617
BLITHE: Shotgun!
NOAH: All right,
come on, let's go!

1131
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:31,454
Let's roll. Hustle.
Rodrigo, feel free
to take a piss in it.

1132
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:33,039
BLITHE: Fancy car.

1133
00:46:33,165 --> 00:46:34,874
It smells like hotdogs.

1134
00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:40,296
Was that woman at the door
your babysitter?

1135
00:46:40,381 --> 00:46:43,383
She was, till I found out
my dad was tipping her extra

1136
00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:45,051
when he'd drive
her home at night.

1137
00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:50,807
SLATER: Where are we going?

1138
00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:52,976
NOAH: Just got to
pick up something

1139
00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:54,477
from my dad's
store real quick.

1140
00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,854
SLATER: You're breaking in?

1141
00:46:57,898 --> 00:46:59,399
Not exactly.
(ALARM RINGING)

1142
00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:02,068
BLITHE:
Shouldn't you tell him
about this or something?

1143
00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:07,115
SLATER: What's wrong?

1144
00:47:07,199 --> 00:47:09,576
I'm typing in the code,
and it's not working.

1145
00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:10,660
You didn't do it right!

1146
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:11,745
Yes, I did.

1147
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:12,829
I'm doing it right.
(ALARM CONTINUES RINGING)

1148
00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:14,205
Maybe your dad
changed the code.

1149
00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:15,498
He didn't change the code.

1150
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:17,500
Okay? The code's my birthday.
It's always been my birthday.

1151
00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:18,668
He didn't change it.

1152
00:47:18,753 --> 00:47:20,587
Maybe it's
someone else's birthday.

1153
00:47:29,430 --> 00:47:31,556
(ALARM STOPS RINGING)

1154
00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:33,933
Sorry, man.

1155
00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:42,776
Let me guess what it is.

1156
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:43,943
(BEEPS)

1157
00:47:50,076 --> 00:47:51,618
Booyah!

1158
00:47:59,293 --> 00:48:00,877
Can I tell you my gossip now?

1159
00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:02,629
Oh, shit, yeah. Blithe.

1160
00:48:03,798 --> 00:48:06,299
Not now.
I think we should go, okay?
Let's go. We gotta go.

1161
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:10,637
I saw my daddy
kissing his assistant, Debra.

1162
00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:14,015
That's why
he always stays late
at the hospital,

1163
00:48:14,100 --> 00:48:17,143
'cause he spends
all night kissing Debra.

1164
00:48:18,979 --> 00:48:20,563
My mom knows.

1165
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:24,567
She pretends like
she doesn't know,
but she knows.

1166
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,486
That's not gossip, Blithe.

1167
00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:28,780
You know that, right?

1168
00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:30,490
Well...

1169
00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:33,326
Sometimes people
do messed-up stuff
to each other, okay?

1170
00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:34,828
Why?

1171
00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:36,621
One time I was
walking down the street,

1172
00:48:36,705 --> 00:48:38,414
I punched my
best friend Darius

1173
00:48:38,499 --> 00:48:42,335
in the nut sack
for no reason.
Just both fists.

1174
00:48:42,461 --> 00:48:43,795
Just double-punched him.

1175
00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:45,171
Why would you do that?

1176
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:46,965
I don't know.

1177
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:49,175
You're an idiot.

1178
00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:51,010
That's probably true.
I am an idiot.

1179
00:48:51,137 --> 00:48:52,595
And so is your dad.

1180
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:54,514
Come on.

1181
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:57,767
Hey.

1182
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,352
Where's Rodrigo?

1183
00:48:59,436 --> 00:49:00,937
He's in the bathroom.

1184
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,605
(TOILET FLUSHING)

1185
00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:05,358
(OMINOUS COWBOY MUSIC PLAYING)

1186
00:49:05,651 --> 00:49:07,277
Oh, no.

1187
00:49:07,361 --> 00:49:10,530
No, tell me...
Tell me you didn't.

1188
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:12,866
(CHUCKLING)

1189
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:14,367
Oh, shit!

1190
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,044
Why the hell did
you do that, Rodrigo?

1191
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:26,296
BLITHE: Seriously, dude!

1192
00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:27,797
You said you didn't have
any more cherry bombs!

1193
00:49:27,882 --> 00:49:29,215
How many more
do you have, huh?

1194
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:32,135
You can't just go around
blowing up bathrooms!
It's not cool!

1195
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:33,970
Why can't you be
more like your
brother and sister?

1196
00:49:34,054 --> 00:49:36,222
They're at least half crazy.
You're full-on nuts!

1197
00:49:36,891 --> 00:49:39,434
They are not
my brother and sister!
They are nothing to me!

1198
00:49:39,518 --> 00:49:41,144
They are not my family!

1199
00:49:41,228 --> 00:49:42,645
She does nothing
all day but paint

1200
00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:44,063
her face like a puta.
She is a puta!

1201
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:45,190
And this one is
sick in the head!

1202
00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:47,150
He goes to the head doctor
four times a week!

1203
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:49,319
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

1204
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:51,154
Hey! Stop acting
crazy, okay?

1205
00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:52,280
He is the crazy one.

1206
00:49:52,364 --> 00:49:54,908
He has this medicine!
He loco! He muy loco!

1207
00:49:55,034 --> 00:49:56,659
Hey, relax!
Shut up!

1208
00:49:56,744 --> 00:49:58,995
You shut up with
your stupid fanny pack!
I take your fanny pack!

1209
00:49:59,079 --> 00:50:01,331
No! No! No, I need that!

1210
00:50:01,415 --> 00:50:04,500
Stop it! I need that!
My pills! No! No!

1211
00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:06,419
NOAH: What did
you do that for?

1212
00:50:06,503 --> 00:50:07,503
SLATER: Pull over!
Pull over!

1213
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:08,588
Okay! Okay!

1214
00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:11,549
SLATER: Right now! Right now!
NOAH: Okay! Okay!

1215
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:15,511
Slater! Where are you going?

1216
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,347
What the fuck is
your problem, man?

1217
00:50:17,431 --> 00:50:18,598
(SPEAKS SPANISH)

1218
00:50:23,062 --> 00:50:24,270
NOAH: Slater.

1219
00:50:24,396 --> 00:50:25,939
You're not going to
find it, all right?

1220
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:28,441
I need those pills, okay?
I need them.

1221
00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:29,609
No, you don't.

1222
00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:31,861
Yes, I do, okay?
I have serious issues.

1223
00:50:31,946 --> 00:50:33,321
You don't have
serious issues.

1224
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:36,449
Yes, I do! Those pills
are the only thing
that keep me normal,

1225
00:50:36,533 --> 00:50:37,867
and I need them!

1226
00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:39,535
I can't do this anymore.

1227
00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:41,412
Slater, you're gay,
all right?

1228
00:50:42,539 --> 00:50:44,249
What the fuck are
you talking about?

1229
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,667
Nothing. Never mind.

1230
00:50:45,751 --> 00:50:47,001
Take that back!

1231
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:49,254
Take it back, Noah!

1232
00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:52,173
You're gay. All right?

1233
00:50:52,258 --> 00:50:55,385
You're as queer
as a football bat,
and that's fine.

1234
00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:57,637
And if your therapist
hasn't clued you
into that by now,

1235
00:50:57,721 --> 00:50:59,639
then you should ask
for your money back, pal.

1236
00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:01,891
You ever think
the reason you're so upset

1237
00:51:01,976 --> 00:51:04,018
your buddy Clayton
doesn't want to
hang out anymore

1238
00:51:04,103 --> 00:51:06,604
is because you have
a lot of special
feelings for him

1239
00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:08,231
that maybe
he doesn't feel back?

1240
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,941
It breaks your heart, man.

1241
00:51:10,025 --> 00:51:11,776
And that breaks my heart.

1242
00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:13,653
'Cause I know
what that feels like.

1243
00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,446
I feel it all the time.

1244
00:51:15,531 --> 00:51:18,157
I don't want to be gay!
I'm not gay!

1245
00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:19,575
Tough.

1246
00:51:19,660 --> 00:51:21,577
I don't want to be a faggot!

1247
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:24,163
Hey! Do not
say shit like that!
Do you understand me?

1248
00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:27,208
This is the worst night
of my life.

1249
00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:32,922
All right, high school
is going to suck.

1250
00:51:33,007 --> 00:51:36,843
Coming out to your parents,
it's not gonna be a picnic,
either.

1251
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,886
But trust me when I tell you

1252
00:51:38,971 --> 00:51:41,472
that when you get to college,
nobody will care.

1253
00:51:41,557 --> 00:51:44,100
And then,
when you graduate college,

1254
00:51:44,184 --> 00:51:47,145
you'll get an awesome job
in the entertainment industry.

1255
00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:51,107
You'll be super-organized
and dress really well,
you'll smell good.

1256
00:51:51,191 --> 00:51:53,651
Smell good? What are you
talking about, Noah?

1257
00:51:53,736 --> 00:51:55,361
Relax. Listen to me.

1258
00:51:58,198 --> 00:52:00,908
My dad hates me. All right?

1259
00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,203
I got kicked out of college.

1260
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,539
(SIGHING)

1261
00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:09,125
Before tonight,
this babysitting thing,

1262
00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:11,502
I've only ever had one job,
and I was a lifeguard.

1263
00:52:11,587 --> 00:52:13,463
I got fired after four days

1264
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:16,090
because I kept falling
asleep in the sun.

1265
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:18,676
I'm a constant
disappointment to my mom,

1266
00:52:18,761 --> 00:52:20,845
who's the only
decent person in my life.

1267
00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:22,889
I've been arrested
numerous times.

1268
00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,933
I had a month-long,
intense addiction
to Robitussin.

1269
00:52:27,227 --> 00:52:29,270
There's only
one freak out here.

1270
00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:31,606
You're looking at him.

1271
00:52:32,566 --> 00:52:35,318
I've never had a gay
thought in my life,
so what does that tell you?

1272
00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:39,030
That tells me
you're pretty messed up.

1273
00:52:39,114 --> 00:52:41,532
I have seen Devil Wears Prada
about 19 times,

1274
00:52:41,617 --> 00:52:43,701
but that's because
it's a good movie.

1275
00:52:43,786 --> 00:52:45,703
It's a good flick.

1276
00:52:45,788 --> 00:52:48,956
Devil Wears P.
You ever seen it?
D Wears P?

1277
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:51,501
I think, like, once.
I don't really
remember it though.

1278
00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:56,005
Nothing's wrong with you.
You're normal.

1279
00:52:57,591 --> 00:52:59,801
Just super gay.

1280
00:53:02,137 --> 00:53:04,055
You're a dick.

1281
00:53:04,139 --> 00:53:07,600
(LAUGHS) Yes, that's true.
Enough of the pills,
all right?

1282
00:53:09,061 --> 00:53:10,228
Okay.

1283
00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:12,855
You know,

1284
00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:17,318
deep down, I think
I always kind of knew.

1285
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:22,657
(SIGHS) But don't tell
anybody yet, okay?

1286
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,826
I won't. I won't.

1287
00:53:26,286 --> 00:53:28,287
What do you think
I am, an asshole?

1288
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,832
(LAUGHING) Yeah, sort of.

1289
00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:32,417
Come on, Ricky Martin,
let's get out of here.

1290
00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:34,127
SLATER: That's an example.

1291
00:53:35,671 --> 00:53:38,047
Hey, Slater, are you okay?

1292
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,465
Yeah, I'm okay.

1293
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,926
Hey! That's Mom's car!

1294
00:53:42,010 --> 00:53:43,052
NOAH: Are you sure?

1295
00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:44,512
(BEEPING)

1296
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,389
All right.
Let's go! Let's go!

1297
00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:49,308
BLITHE: Rodrigo's jacket
must be in there!

1298
00:54:14,126 --> 00:54:15,960
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

1299
00:54:19,506 --> 00:54:21,299
BLITHE: This is
my kind of club.

1300
00:54:21,383 --> 00:54:23,801
SLATER: Let's just go home.
NOAH: No.

1301
00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:25,928
All right? I have a half-hour
to get to this party,

1302
00:54:26,013 --> 00:54:27,763
pay off Karl,
pick my girlfriend up

1303
00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,599
off the floor,
get you kids home,

1304
00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:32,435
and be home in time
for my mom to tell me how
awesome her night was.

1305
00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:36,397
I'm not gonna let
some bullshit car thief
fuck this up for me.

1306
00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:39,317
Hey.

1307
00:54:39,401 --> 00:54:41,694
What's happening, my man?
How you doing, man?

1308
00:54:41,778 --> 00:54:44,489
You know, this ain't
no place for no kids.

1309
00:54:44,573 --> 00:54:46,407
These aren't kids,
these are little people.

1310
00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:48,242
This woman's 48 years old.

1311
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:49,660
Her children have children.

1312
00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:51,287
Hi. I'm a grandma.

1313
00:54:51,371 --> 00:54:52,455
All right.

1314
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:53,706
What's your name, baby?

1315
00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:54,874
They call me Soul, Soul Baby.

1316
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:56,876
Soul Baby?
Keep it in control, baby.

1317
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,044
I hear you, baby.

1318
00:54:58,128 --> 00:54:59,128
My name's
Noah J-Bird. (CAWS)

1319
00:54:59,213 --> 00:55:00,630
Noah J-Bird.

1320
00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:02,423
Oh, you like to fly.
I fly, baby.

1321
00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:03,716
Fly, fly, fly away, baby.

1322
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:04,926
In the clouds, no frowns.

1323
00:55:05,052 --> 00:55:06,344
All right, now,
that's what
I'm talking about.

1324
00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:07,470
Tears, no fears, man.

1325
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:08,554
Is that right?

1326
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:09,847
Respect it, don't neglect it.

1327
00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,683
All right. That's what
I'm talking about, baby.
My brother.

1328
00:55:12,768 --> 00:55:14,393
Treat it,
don't beat it, my man.
All right, baby.

1329
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,979
You're a badass motherfucker.

1330
00:55:18,690 --> 00:55:20,024
(MUSIC PLAYING)

1331
00:55:22,819 --> 00:55:24,612
Hey.
(GROANS)

1332
00:55:24,738 --> 00:55:27,365
God, man.
What's up, white boy?

1333
00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:29,075
I'm here for my minivan.
What's up?

1334
00:55:29,284 --> 00:55:31,661
(LAUGHS) Get out of here.

1335
00:55:31,745 --> 00:55:34,163
What, are you
stalking me now?
You're stealing my car?

1336
00:55:34,248 --> 00:55:36,207
I'm serious.
Give me the keys.

1337
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:39,085
Look, homey, we got beef.
You understand that?

1338
00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:40,378
Just give me the keys.

1339
00:55:40,462 --> 00:55:43,172
Step back, homey!
This ain't where you belong!

1340
00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:45,508
All right,
you're going to
listen to me, okay?

1341
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:48,219
You're right,
I threw up in your
grandmother's ashes.

1342
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,387
Hell, yeah, you did.

1343
00:55:49,471 --> 00:55:50,513
It was an accident.

1344
00:55:50,597 --> 00:55:51,806
Fucked up.

1345
00:55:51,890 --> 00:55:54,016
I apologize from
the bottom of my heart.

1346
00:55:54,101 --> 00:55:56,435
I have been stuck
babysitting these
three kids.

1347
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,813
I was talked
into buying cocaine
for my girlfriend,

1348
00:55:58,939 --> 00:56:01,148
who I realize is not
even my girlfriend.

1349
00:56:01,275 --> 00:56:03,526
She's just a girl
who occasionally

1350
00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:05,111
lets me stick
my face in her crotch

1351
00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:07,196
and who's mean to me
all the time. Okay?
(ALL LAUGH)

1352
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:09,323
And this time,
making her happy

1353
00:56:09,408 --> 00:56:11,367
is probably
gonna get me killed.

1354
00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:15,162
You're acting all gangster,
stealing cars,
hanging out with thugs.

1355
00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:16,289
Well, you know what?

1356
00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:19,250
A few years ago
we went to the same
lame-ass high school.

1357
00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:22,753
The point is,
you and I are
two fucked-up kids

1358
00:56:22,838 --> 00:56:24,171
meeting on the playground.

1359
00:56:24,298 --> 00:56:29,302
I came here for my
motherfucking keys to my
motherfucking minivan,

1360
00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:30,803
and that's what's up!

1361
00:56:32,264 --> 00:56:34,890
(ALL LAUGHING)

1362
00:56:35,017 --> 00:56:36,684
Is that supposed to be
a threat, little man?

1363
00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:37,935
I ain't giving you shit.

1364
00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:39,145
It's not a threat.

1365
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:41,606
I'm going to put
both my hands
behind my back,

1366
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:44,191
and you get
one punch to my face
as hard as you want.

1367
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:45,901
I can punch
you in the face?

1368
00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:47,528
You deserve to
punch me in the face.

1369
00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:49,405
Go on, baby.
Punch him in the face.

1370
00:56:49,489 --> 00:56:51,324
(WHISPERS) My face
is ready to receive you.

1371
00:56:52,159 --> 00:56:53,826
Noah, don't!
What?

1372
00:56:53,994 --> 00:56:56,078
CROWD: Oh!

1373
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,330
TINA: Bitch.

1374
00:56:58,081 --> 00:56:59,540
BLITHE: Noah!

1375
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:01,042
I fucking
love you right now.

1376
00:57:02,044 --> 00:57:04,462
You killed my babysitter!

1377
00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:05,755
Noah?

1378
00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:08,841
(GROANS) That was bad.

1379
00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:10,217
BLITHE: Are you okay?
Yeah.

1380
00:57:10,427 --> 00:57:11,427
(ALL EXCLAIM IN SURPRISE)

1381
00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:13,596
Oh, shit. I'm all right!

1382
00:57:14,848 --> 00:57:16,807
I'm okay!
(ALL APPLAUDING)

1383
00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:18,392
I'm okay!

1384
00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:19,894
She won this round, right?

1385
00:57:20,020 --> 00:57:21,395
Oh, shit.

1386
00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:24,023
She punched my face,
but it's cool!
It's all good.

1387
00:57:25,859 --> 00:57:27,234
Looks like we're even.

1388
00:57:32,074 --> 00:57:35,076
Guess you ain't
the little pussy
you used to be. Huh, Noah?

1389
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:37,662
Nope, I'm a whole
different pussy now.

1390
00:57:37,746 --> 00:57:39,747
All right, boy. Respect.

1391
00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:43,793
Unlock it. What's inside?

1392
00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:45,544
Oh, shit, it's a bomb.

1393
00:57:46,922 --> 00:57:49,256
Hell, yeah. I feel that.

1394
00:57:49,383 --> 00:57:51,926
NOAH: Let that debris
fall across your face, girl.

1395
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:53,886
Look here, little homey.

1396
00:57:54,429 --> 00:57:56,013
I like your style, you dig?

1397
00:57:56,098 --> 00:57:57,181
I appreciate that.
Thank you.

1398
00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:59,100
You stand up for yours,
and I can respect that.

1399
00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:04,021
If we ever need
a crazy-ass white boy
to roll with us one day

1400
00:58:04,106 --> 00:58:08,609
and get punched in the face
by motherfuckers,
I'm-a call you.

1401
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:10,361
Know what I mean?

1402
00:58:10,445 --> 00:58:11,654
Yeah, man.

1403
00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:15,032
Yo, listen. Listen.
Let me holler at
you for a second.

1404
00:58:15,117 --> 00:58:16,492
I just wanna let you know,

1405
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:19,036
I just want to throw
a monster shout-out
back at you, my man.

1406
00:58:19,121 --> 00:58:20,913
Monster shout-out
back at me, right?

1407
00:58:20,997 --> 00:58:22,415
I don't understand
what the fuck that is,

1408
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:23,874
but it sound good, though.

1409
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:25,501
It's all good, baby.
All right, brother.

1410
00:58:25,585 --> 00:58:27,461
Peace to you.
I fucking love you, dawg.

1411
00:58:29,756 --> 00:58:31,424
Noah, are you all right?

1412
00:58:32,092 --> 00:58:34,260
(HOARSELY) I feel
so cool right now.

1413
00:58:35,220 --> 00:58:36,262
(LAUGHING)

1414
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:37,388
This place is cool.

1415
00:58:37,472 --> 00:58:40,808
I honestly might
start DJ-ing here.
I don't know.

1416
00:58:40,934 --> 00:58:42,017
Okay, that's all right,

1417
00:58:42,102 --> 00:58:44,979
but do you really think that
this is an appropriate place
to bring kids?

1418
00:58:45,105 --> 00:58:48,482
I don't know.
Look, Rodrigo's over there
chatting up some prostitutes.

1419
00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:52,236
You got Slater
schooling Bell Biv DeVoe
over there in pool.

1420
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,531
And Blithe's
doing the Riverdance
over in the bowling alley.

1421
00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:56,782
Honestly,
this is the first time

1422
00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:58,033
I've seen them
having any kind of fun,

1423
00:58:58,118 --> 00:59:00,327
so what the hell?

1424
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,459
You know what that is?

1425
00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:08,210
What is that?

1426
00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:10,129
Just me being cool.
Playing it cool.

1427
00:59:11,173 --> 00:59:13,048
No big deal.

1428
00:59:13,133 --> 00:59:14,216
You're crazy.

1429
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:16,427
You're crazy
slash beautiful. Whatever.

1430
00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:24,059
So, did you drive here?

1431
00:59:24,144 --> 00:59:25,519
No, I took a cab.

1432
00:59:25,645 --> 00:59:27,104
Maybe you should
take my dad's car,

1433
00:59:27,189 --> 00:59:29,398
because I can't drive
both of them anyways.

1434
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:31,025
Are you serious?

1435
00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:33,068
Yeah, it'd actually
really help me out.

1436
00:59:33,153 --> 00:59:34,862
Okay. How are
you gonna find me?

1437
00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:36,530
Do you have a phone?

1438
00:59:39,201 --> 00:59:40,743
Okay. See you.

1439
00:59:40,827 --> 00:59:42,036
Yeah. (LAUGHS)

1440
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,287
Just kidding.

1441
00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:46,916
Here, this is
my phone number, and then
you can call me.

1442
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,751
Okay.

1443
00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:51,378
I'll call you.

1444
00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:53,589
Hey, uh,

1445
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,424
why did you say
something to me

1446
00:59:55,509 --> 00:59:57,176
when you saw me earlier?
I feel like

1447
00:59:57,260 --> 00:59:59,678
you kind of ignored me
all freshman year.

1448
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:05,559
I don't know.
I thought you were
really funny and smart

1449
01:00:05,685 --> 01:00:07,269
and seemed really sweet.

1450
01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:11,232
I guess I was kind of nervous
to talk to you back then.

1451
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,027
You were nervous
to talk to me?

1452
01:00:15,529 --> 01:00:17,071
Yeah.

1453
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:19,198
(MOBILE RINGING)

1454
01:00:19,366 --> 01:00:21,033
My phone's ringing.

1455
01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:24,537
Shit, it's my girlfriend.
I'm sorry.
I have to take this.

1456
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:26,038
Girlfriend.
Yeah.

1457
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,123
Hello?

1458
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:30,876
All right. See you later.

1459
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:31,961
Call me about the car.

1460
01:00:32,295 --> 01:00:33,838
Yeah.
Noah.

1461
01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:35,923
NOAH: Listen to me.
You need to leave
that party right now.

1462
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:39,093
Noah, this party
is breathtaking,
so I'm not gonna leave it.

1463
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,928
Breathtaking?
Marisa, listen to me.

1464
01:00:41,054 --> 01:00:45,224
You need to listen to me.
You have been jerking me
around all night.

1465
01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:48,769
And you wanna know what?
It's disrespectful
and it's lame.

1466
01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:51,355
Just, if Karl
and Julio show up,
stay away from them.

1467
01:00:51,439 --> 01:00:52,481
They're dangerous.

1468
01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,358
They're not dangerous.
You're being an idiot.

1469
01:00:54,442 --> 01:00:57,152
I'm very close.
I'm coming for you,
Marisa, okay?

1470
01:00:57,237 --> 01:00:58,445
Okay.

1471
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:00,906
(SIREN SQUAWKING)

1472
01:01:01,283 --> 01:01:03,075
Oh, shit.

1473
01:01:06,580 --> 01:01:08,497
I can't decide if
this is funny or not.

1474
01:01:08,582 --> 01:01:10,374
NOAH: It's not funny at all.

1475
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:11,876
How you doing
tonight, my man?

1476
01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:13,836
Do you have any idea
why I stopped you?

1477
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,296
No.
You ran a red light

1478
01:01:15,380 --> 01:01:17,172
and you're not
wearing your seat belt.

1479
01:01:17,257 --> 01:01:19,675
All right,
why don't you step
out of the car, pal?

1480
01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:21,677
Do me a favor.
Put your hands
on the trunk.

1481
01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:23,012
OFFICER: Easy, cowboy.

1482
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:24,221
What's this?

1483
01:01:24,306 --> 01:01:25,639
It's a luchador
action figure.

1484
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:27,016
Luchadors, I love these guys.

1485
01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:28,350
Look at this.

1486
01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:29,977
Frank, what's in there?

1487
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:31,896
What's this, my man?

1488
01:01:31,980 --> 01:01:32,980
(SIGHS)

1489
01:01:33,064 --> 01:01:34,106
You got a little
party in your pocket?

1490
01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:35,816
It's not mine,
I swear to God.

1491
01:01:35,901 --> 01:01:38,110
I'm just holding it
for my girlfriend.

1492
01:01:38,194 --> 01:01:39,236
I'm just holding it for her.

1493
01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:40,362
You're going out
with a cokehead?

1494
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:42,406
Bag of fucking
actual diamonds here.

1495
01:01:42,490 --> 01:01:45,701
Oh. Okay. Jacob the Jeweler.
You're tits in a ditch,
my man.

1496
01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:47,703
Tits in a ditch.
Is that good?

1497
01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:50,080
Sometimes it's good.
Sometimes it's real bad.

1498
01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:53,042
What is that?
Oh, no shit!

1499
01:01:53,168 --> 01:01:54,877
Is that you?
That's the fucking
bathroom guy!

1500
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,879
Mr. Toilet Explosion?
That's not me.

1501
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:58,881
I've never actually
been the guy on duty

1502
01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:00,799
to catch
the fucking guy
in the sketch.

1503
01:02:00,884 --> 01:02:02,217
What are they doing to him?

1504
01:02:02,302 --> 01:02:04,178
Do me a favor.
You got this?
Yeah.

1505
01:02:07,182 --> 01:02:09,058
You got it?
Yeah. I like that.

1506
01:02:09,142 --> 01:02:10,976
That's one for your wallet.
Check it out! Check it out!

1507
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,311
It's great.
All right, sir,
do me a favor,

1508
01:02:12,395 --> 01:02:13,437
go stand by your vehicle.

1509
01:02:13,521 --> 01:02:15,314
We're going to run
your profile. All right?

1510
01:02:15,398 --> 01:02:18,025
This is mine.
I'm gonna take
responsibility...

1511
01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:21,153
Sir! Go stand
by your vehicle.
Please.

1512
01:02:23,698 --> 01:02:25,324
Hey, so here's the deal.

1513
01:02:25,408 --> 01:02:27,117
I think I'm about
to get arrested.

1514
01:02:27,202 --> 01:02:29,787
I messed up and I put
your lives in danger.

1515
01:02:29,871 --> 01:02:31,038
You's got the diamonds?

1516
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:32,581
NOAH: Things just got
out of hand so quickly...
(BOTH GRUNT)

1517
01:02:32,666 --> 01:02:33,791
Let's party!

1518
01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:34,959
...and I'm really,
really sorry.

1519
01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:36,585
(ENGINE STARTING)

1520
01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:38,212
Whoa. Are they leaving?

1521
01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:40,464
Hey! What are
you doing? Stop!

1522
01:02:40,548 --> 01:02:42,758
Please! I need
those diamonds!
Come back!

1523
01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:44,802
Damn it! (GROANS)

1524
01:02:59,067 --> 01:03:01,068
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

1525
01:03:04,739 --> 01:03:07,157
All right, I'm going to
go find my girlfriend.

1526
01:03:07,242 --> 01:03:12,079
Marisa!

1527
01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:16,583
Stephanie,
have you seen Marisa?

1528
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:19,586
I don't know,
it's my birthday!

1529
01:03:19,671 --> 01:03:20,796
Why are you upside down?

1530
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:22,297
Why aren't you upside down?

1531
01:03:22,382 --> 01:03:23,465
Okay.

1532
01:03:23,550 --> 01:03:24,591
Take care of yourself.

1533
01:03:24,676 --> 01:03:26,677
You're not invited anymore.

1534
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:30,097
G-Bert, sorry to
interrupt, man.

1535
01:03:30,724 --> 01:03:32,057
What's up, Noah?

1536
01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:33,559
Have you seen Marisa?

1537
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:34,977
Who's Marisa?
She's my girlfriend.

1538
01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:36,478
She's like my height,
blonde hair.

1539
01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:39,273
No, sorry.
No.

1540
01:03:39,357 --> 01:03:41,650
If I find her,
we should all hang out
next week or something.

1541
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:42,776
Totally, yeah.

1542
01:03:42,861 --> 01:03:43,986
Yeah, great.
You have great breasts.
Thanks.

1543
01:03:44,070 --> 01:03:45,279
Thank you.
Later, Noah.

1544
01:03:48,908 --> 01:03:50,617
What are you doing?
Fuck you.

1545
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:54,204
Why are you such
an asshole, Rodrigo?

1546
01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:57,666
Ever since
you moved in with us,

1547
01:03:57,751 --> 01:03:59,543
you've been so mean
to everybody!

1548
01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:01,712
What's wrong with you?

1549
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:03,130
You want to know
what's wrong with me?

1550
01:04:03,214 --> 01:04:05,007
This is my third family
in three years.

1551
01:04:05,091 --> 01:04:06,550
When your papas
get tired with me,

1552
01:04:06,634 --> 01:04:08,052
they give me to
another families.

1553
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:09,428
That happens every time.

1554
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:12,514
Well, maybe if you didn't do
such messed-up stuff

1555
01:04:12,599 --> 01:04:15,851
then they would actually feel
like you wanted to be here.

1556
01:04:15,935 --> 01:04:17,603
You don't know me.
You look at me

1557
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:19,271
like a crazy that live
in your house.

1558
01:04:19,355 --> 01:04:21,857
That's not true.
You never talk to us.

1559
01:04:21,941 --> 01:04:25,152
Honestly,
you're pretty scary, man.

1560
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:29,615
I no scary.
I just like having fun.

1561
01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,533
Boom, boom, boom. Kaboom.

1562
01:04:31,618 --> 01:04:33,952
Hey, guys, I can't find
Marisa anywhere. Let's go.

1563
01:04:34,245 --> 01:04:35,746
Come on. Where's Blithe?

1564
01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:40,292
Blithe, get down from there.
We have to go.

1565
01:04:40,376 --> 01:04:42,461
These are my friends!
Come on, we're having fun.

1566
01:04:42,545 --> 01:04:43,754
No. They're not your friends.

1567
01:04:43,838 --> 01:04:45,672
They're drunk
and they're making
fun of you, okay?

1568
01:04:45,799 --> 01:04:47,716
You need to get
down here right now.
What are you doing?

1569
01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:49,259
Listen, they're drunk.
Let's go.

1570
01:04:49,344 --> 01:04:50,469
Come up here!

1571
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:51,678
They just want
to dance with me!

1572
01:04:51,763 --> 01:04:52,805
They don't want to dance...

1573
01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:54,681
Oh! You're here!

1574
01:04:54,766 --> 01:04:57,768
Where have you been?
This has been
the best night ever.

1575
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:00,521
Are those kids?
Yeah. They're with me.

1576
01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:01,939
I'll explain.
We need to get out
of here right now.

1577
01:05:02,023 --> 01:05:03,816
Did you get
the party favors?

1578
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:05,734
I had them and now I don't.
I'll explain.

1579
01:05:05,819 --> 01:05:07,569
We need to get out
of here right now.

1580
01:05:07,654 --> 01:05:09,571
I'm serious.
It's Ricky.

1581
01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:10,739
We don't have time for this.

1582
01:05:10,824 --> 01:05:12,616
That is Ricky Fontaine.
He is my ex-boyfriend.

1583
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,326
I obviously have
to go say hi.

1584
01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:15,577
Ricky!

1585
01:05:15,662 --> 01:05:16,745
NOAH: You're drunk, Marisa.

1586
01:05:17,163 --> 01:05:18,413
Hey.

1587
01:05:18,498 --> 01:05:19,665
Marisa.

1588
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:21,041
What's up? How are you?

1589
01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:24,253
You haven't
responded to any of my texts
in, like, a really long time.

1590
01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:26,338
Yeah. There's a reason
for that.

1591
01:05:26,422 --> 01:05:30,342
Marisa, I'm sorry.
I don't know how else
I can say it.

1592
01:05:30,426 --> 01:05:33,178
We had a great run,
but it's over now,

1593
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,597
and I wish you the best
and I pray for you, I do.

1594
01:05:36,057 --> 01:05:37,474
Is everything okay?

1595
01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:41,270
Actually, no.
Ricky's being kind
of a dick.

1596
01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:42,437
Why don't you
defend me, Noah?

1597
01:05:42,522 --> 01:05:43,522
BOTH: What?

1598
01:05:43,606 --> 01:05:45,566
Yeah. You're being
a real dick!

1599
01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,276
Defend me!
You're being mean!

1600
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,570
What are you talking about?
I've been nothing
but cool to you, man.

1601
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:51,155
Okay. She's drunk.

1602
01:05:51,239 --> 01:05:53,907
There's
a misunderstanding happening.
Why don't we all just relax?

1603
01:05:53,992 --> 01:05:55,159
(MOUTHING)

1604
01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:57,119
No offense, bro,
but who are you?

1605
01:05:57,203 --> 01:05:58,537
I'm Noah. We're dating.

1606
01:05:58,621 --> 01:05:59,913
MARISA: He's my friend.

1607
01:05:59,998 --> 01:06:01,790
We're in
a relationship, okay?

1608
01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:03,917
Friendship relationship.

1609
01:06:04,002 --> 01:06:05,085
Well, good luck
with that, bro,

1610
01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:07,296
'cause dealing with her
is a pretty big nightmare.

1611
01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:08,881
I don't envy you.

1612
01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:11,925
That is a terrible thing
to say to somebody!

1613
01:06:12,552 --> 01:06:13,594
What?

1614
01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:17,139
Look, you hurt
her feelings. Okay?
Just be nice.

1615
01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:19,141
What are you going
to do about it, bro?

1616
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,351
What?

1617
01:06:24,355 --> 01:06:25,397
What the hell was that?

1618
01:06:25,481 --> 01:06:28,984
A throat jab?
I don't know. I don't
street-fight very often.

1619
01:06:31,029 --> 01:06:32,446
Shit! (GRUNTS)

1620
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:34,781
I broke my ass!

1621
01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:37,326
(WHOOPS)
You just got Fontained!

1622
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:39,328
Are you okay, Noah?

1623
01:06:39,412 --> 01:06:40,829
Yeah.

1624
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:43,749
Get out of here.
I got it. I got this guy.

1625
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:45,584
Right here. Right here.

1626
01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:49,922
Noah!
(CRYING OUT IN PAIN)

1627
01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:51,673
Oh, that's bad!
Oh, my back!

1628
01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:52,841
What do we do?

1629
01:06:52,926 --> 01:06:54,927
Rodrigo! Flying Burrito!

1630
01:06:58,181 --> 01:07:00,057
Jesus! My ear!

1631
01:07:00,141 --> 01:07:01,725
Did I get him good?

1632
01:07:01,809 --> 01:07:03,477
Get off!

1633
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:04,603
Hey, Ricky!

1634
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:09,942
Double punch
to the nut sack!

1635
01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:11,610
(GROANS)

1636
01:07:11,694 --> 01:07:13,445
Come on, Blithe!
We gotta get out of here!

1637
01:07:13,529 --> 01:07:14,529
Ricky? Are you okay?

1638
01:07:15,573 --> 01:07:16,657
Listen, we gotta
go right now.

1639
01:07:16,741 --> 01:07:18,283
Where's the party?
I love parties.

1640
01:07:18,409 --> 01:07:20,369
Oh, shit!
We gotta go right now!
Hey, what's up, party animal?

1641
01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:21,954
How you doing?
Hey, man...

1642
01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:23,038
(GUN FIRES)

1643
01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:24,331
Karl!
(ALL SCREAMING)

1644
01:07:27,460 --> 01:07:28,585
(SCREAMING)

1645
01:07:28,670 --> 01:07:30,045
Come on, come on.

1646
01:07:30,129 --> 01:07:32,089
KARL: Who wants to party?

1647
01:07:32,507 --> 01:07:35,384
Anybody want to party?
Let's party!

1648
01:07:36,970 --> 01:07:39,554
Back it up! Back it up!

1649
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:41,890
What's up?

1650
01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:42,975
Nobody wanna dance with me!

1651
01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:44,059
Let's party!

1652
01:07:47,730 --> 01:07:50,232
Come on, you got it.
Let's go. You got it.

1653
01:07:50,316 --> 01:07:51,733
I can't believe
you're making me do this.

1654
01:07:53,569 --> 01:07:55,404
Where are the kids?
Who cares? Let's just go.

1655
01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:56,863
Please, I just want
to go home with you.

1656
01:07:56,948 --> 01:07:58,240
I just want to
get out of here.

1657
01:07:58,324 --> 01:08:00,659
What are you talking about?
They're my responsibility.

1658
01:08:00,743 --> 01:08:02,869
Who cares? I just
want to get out of here!

1659
01:08:02,954 --> 01:08:04,371
I care.

1660
01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:06,790
Hi.

1661
01:08:06,874 --> 01:08:08,417
What the fuck?
Hey, come on.

1662
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:10,168
RODRIGO: Come here!

1663
01:08:10,253 --> 01:08:12,546
Go, go, go, go, go! Move!

1664
01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:14,006
How'd you learn
to hot-wire a car?

1665
01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:15,465
RODRIGO:
I know many things.

1666
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:17,217
What is with all these kids?

1667
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,264
What is that?

1668
01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:23,765
It's Karl's gang.

1669
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:24,850
(SPEAKS SPANISH)

1670
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:27,185
Go! They gonna kill us!

1671
01:08:27,270 --> 01:08:28,645
(SCREAMING)
MARISA: Oh, my God!

1672
01:08:28,730 --> 01:08:30,230
Oh, my God!

1673
01:08:31,607 --> 01:08:32,983
Get off the car!

1674
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,694
MARISA: Oh, my God!
Is that a man or a woman?

1675
01:08:35,778 --> 01:08:37,529
RODRIGO: Go, Noah!
Fucking drive, Noah!

1676
01:08:37,613 --> 01:08:39,239
Push the gas!

1677
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:51,626
What the hell
is going on?

1678
01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:54,171
Next time, you use a bazooka
instead of a sledgehammer.

1679
01:08:54,255 --> 01:08:55,547
What are you, El DeBarge?

1680
01:08:55,631 --> 01:08:57,591
Let's go, come on, Jeremy!

1681
01:08:57,717 --> 01:08:59,217
What the hell is this?
Get out of the way!

1682
01:09:00,386 --> 01:09:01,803
Is there anyone in
this car who can tell me

1683
01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:03,221
what the hell
is going on here?

1684
01:09:03,306 --> 01:09:04,473
Noah, they're coming!

1685
01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:06,224
JULIO: Gonna kill yo ass,
Noah Griffith!

1686
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:07,809
Coming to get you!
Catch up!

1687
01:09:07,894 --> 01:09:09,311
Fucking die! You die!

1688
01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:11,021
All right, kids,
fasten your seat belts!

1689
01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:18,445
They're going to kill us!

1690
01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:20,405
(KARL AND JULIO SCREAMING)

1691
01:09:22,617 --> 01:09:23,700
JULIO: Watch this.
Watch this.

1692
01:09:24,744 --> 01:09:26,328
(ALL SCREAMING)

1693
01:09:26,412 --> 01:09:27,537
Is everyone okay?

1694
01:09:27,622 --> 01:09:29,122
I'm scared, Noah!

1695
01:09:29,207 --> 01:09:30,957
Noah, stall them!
I have an idea!

1696
01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,459
Roll down the window!

1697
01:09:32,543 --> 01:09:35,504
I have your money!
I just want to be
your friend!

1698
01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:37,172
Are you serious?
You've been really

1699
01:09:37,256 --> 01:09:38,840
wishy-washy about
the whole thing.

1700
01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:41,176
No, I know! I've been
going through my own
personal situation!

1701
01:09:41,260 --> 01:09:43,720
It's really scary
entering into
a new friendship!

1702
01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:45,555
I just don't want
to deal with
a broken heart.

1703
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,891
Maybe I don't
want to be friends!
How's that?

1704
01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:50,310
He really wants to
be your friend, Karl!

1705
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:52,562
NOAH: It's just
I've been burned
in the past, bud!

1706
01:09:52,647 --> 01:09:54,523
KARL: Seriously?
NOAH: Kaboom!

1707
01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:55,690
Oh, shit!

1708
01:09:56,776 --> 01:09:58,026
(JULIO SCREAMING
IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)

1709
01:09:58,111 --> 01:09:59,569
(KARL YELLING)

1710
01:09:59,654 --> 01:10:01,363
KARL: Shit!
Hold the wheel straight!

1711
01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:04,282
Wait, wait!
(SCREAMING)

1712
01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:06,118
JULIO: Oh, shit!

1713
01:10:08,704 --> 01:10:10,705
Yes! Nice!

1714
01:10:11,624 --> 01:10:13,625
Whoa! Shit! (SCREAMING)

1715
01:10:19,298 --> 01:10:20,340
Are you guys okay?

1716
01:10:20,425 --> 01:10:22,884
No. I'm not okay.
We just crashed the car.

1717
01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:24,553
What just happened?

1718
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:26,805
Wait, so did you
get the coke?

1719
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:29,933
Kids, kids, kids.
I love kids.

1720
01:10:30,017 --> 01:10:31,560
How you doing,
Noah Griffith?

1721
01:10:31,644 --> 01:10:33,520
Hey, Karl, why you
got to be so crazy, man?

1722
01:10:33,604 --> 01:10:34,813
Hey, man, I'm crazy.

1723
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:36,064
(WHISPERING) That's a gun.

1724
01:10:36,149 --> 01:10:38,567
Marisa, why don't
you do me a favor?
Take these kids and go home.

1725
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:40,986
I'm going to have
an adult conversation
with the babysitter.

1726
01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:43,530
Look, I know you guys
want to stay with me,
it's your instinct,

1727
01:10:43,614 --> 01:10:47,367
but you have to
fend for yourself.

1728
01:10:49,579 --> 01:10:51,538
KARL: Oh, you're
all alone now, huh?

1729
01:10:51,831 --> 01:10:53,039
(YELLS)

1730
01:10:53,124 --> 01:10:54,249
Hurts, don't it?

1731
01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:56,793
Yeah. I got a little
boo-boo myself.

1732
01:11:00,590 --> 01:11:02,382
You're mean!
Noah Griffith!

1733
01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:04,009
(FIRES)

1734
01:11:04,135 --> 01:11:05,760
(GUN CLICKS)

1735
01:11:05,928 --> 01:11:08,930
You got mud in my gun,
Noah Griffith!

1736
01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:11,808
My 11 th best friend
gave me this gun!

1737
01:11:12,435 --> 01:11:14,394
BLITHE: Marisa, wait!
Did you hear that?

1738
01:11:15,771 --> 01:11:17,731
No, I didn't
hear anything.

1739
01:11:17,815 --> 01:11:19,858
It's your very childlike
and vivid imagination.

1740
01:11:19,942 --> 01:11:21,067
Noah might be hurt!

1741
01:11:21,152 --> 01:11:22,194
That's a pistola.

1742
01:11:22,278 --> 01:11:23,445
What if he needs us?

1743
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:26,323
He's not in trouble.
He's hugging it out
with Karl in the minivan.

1744
01:11:40,755 --> 01:11:42,797
I just need to
get out of here.

1745
01:11:42,882 --> 01:11:44,841
Thanks to you guys,
my night is ruined!

1746
01:11:44,926 --> 01:11:47,594
I was having a really
fun night before you
showed up! Taxi!

1747
01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:49,095
We were supposed to
have a fun night, too!

1748
01:11:49,180 --> 01:11:51,681
You are the reason
that we are even
in this situation!

1749
01:11:51,766 --> 01:11:54,476
(SOBBING) Okay, fine!
I'm a terrible person.

1750
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:56,978
Okay? I admit it,
I could be a lot better
in this situation,

1751
01:11:57,063 --> 01:12:00,315
but I'm just feeling
really overwhelmed.
I don't know what's going on.

1752
01:12:00,399 --> 01:12:03,360
I'm stuck with
these three kids
and I hate kids,

1753
01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,278
and I just don't
know what to do!

1754
01:12:05,363 --> 01:12:07,656
Marisa?
Stop being such a spaz.

1755
01:12:07,740 --> 01:12:10,075
Give me your phone.
I've got an idea.

1756
01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:11,743
Noah Griffith!

1757
01:12:11,827 --> 01:12:14,871
Yes! Where you at, babycakes?

1758
01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:17,249
Where you at?

1759
01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,584
I see you, Noah Griffith.

1760
01:12:20,836 --> 01:12:22,045
Yes!

1761
01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:25,423
Noah Griffith?

1762
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:28,134
Good game!

1763
01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:32,973
(WHOOPS) You passed the test!
Passed the prank!
Passed the car chase.

1764
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:34,558
You're in the club, player!

1765
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:37,686
Surprise!

1766
01:12:37,770 --> 01:12:39,187
Stay back! Back up!

1767
01:12:39,272 --> 01:12:40,689
Whoa! Okay. Chill out.

1768
01:12:40,773 --> 01:12:43,275
Listen to me.
I don't have your money.

1769
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:46,278
And I'm going to
stop risking my life
to get it for you.

1770
01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:48,280
Rodrigo took an egg
from your house.

1771
01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:50,240
It exploded,
it's gone, I'm sorry.

1772
01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:51,992
What do you think
this is, a game?

1773
01:12:52,076 --> 01:12:54,953
You don't fuck
with a drug dealer.
Are you out of your mind?

1774
01:12:55,037 --> 01:12:56,788
You owe me money!

1775
01:12:56,872 --> 01:12:58,582
I got a call
from a little lady

1776
01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:01,042
said there was some trouble
brewing in the park tonight.

1777
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:02,294
Lookit here.

1778
01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:04,004
TINA: Oh, shit.

1779
01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:06,756
What's going down
on the playground?
What up, Noah?

1780
01:13:06,841 --> 01:13:08,258
What are you guys doing here?

1781
01:13:08,342 --> 01:13:11,469
Told you, we'd be around.
What y'all up to?

1782
01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:13,722
This guy, he's crazy.
He's trying to kill me!

1783
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:15,265
He's trying to kill the kids
I'm babysitting.

1784
01:13:15,349 --> 01:13:16,891
He's nuts!
He's out of his mind.

1785
01:13:16,976 --> 01:13:18,560
TINA: Who?
This stinky bitch?
NOAH: Yes.

1786
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:22,188
Let me find out you
out here trying to punk
on our boy Noah?

1787
01:13:22,273 --> 01:13:25,900
Fuck is wrong with you?
You don't know who
you're messing with.

1788
01:13:25,985 --> 01:13:28,403
He's one misunderstood
motherfucker.

1789
01:13:28,487 --> 01:13:29,446
MAN: Sure you right.

1790
01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:31,573
But I got your
back now, Noah.

1791
01:13:31,657 --> 01:13:34,367
'Cause I found out
you got some
big-ass balls, man.

1792
01:13:34,827 --> 01:13:36,953
Can't buy underwear.
Balls don't fit.

1793
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:39,164
TINA: You done messed
with the wrong babysitter.

1794
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:41,750
You so sexy when
you talk gangsta.

1795
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,002
Look here, Noah.

1796
01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:46,254
Why don't you take
them little kids home?

1797
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:48,590
We gonna handle
this situation here.

1798
01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:52,469
Thank you, guys, so much.
Soul Baby, text you.

1799
01:13:52,553 --> 01:13:54,471
Make love to the night,
motherfucker.

1800
01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:57,891
Noah Griffith!
Where are you going?
I'm not done with you!

1801
01:13:58,768 --> 01:14:01,186
You think your friends
are gonna bail you
out of this?

1802
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:02,520
Listen, I'm in
a real bad mood.

1803
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:03,813
I don't want to
hurt you motherfuckers.

1804
01:14:03,898 --> 01:14:05,231
(TINA LAUGHING)
What's up, candy man?

1805
01:14:05,316 --> 01:14:06,858
We're gonna
get up in it, boy.

1806
01:14:06,942 --> 01:14:09,486
Put a quarter in my butt.
Let's get this fight farted.
Let's go.

1807
01:14:12,782 --> 01:14:14,157
Motherfuckers!

1808
01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:16,701
KARL: Ahh! My nuts!

1809
01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:19,037
(SQUEALING)

1810
01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:23,958
(SCREAMS) Taxi!

1811
01:14:26,337 --> 01:14:27,629
I need a cab, man!

1812
01:14:27,713 --> 01:14:29,547
Hey, man,
your nuts are on fire!

1813
01:14:29,632 --> 01:14:31,424
I know my nuts are on fire!

1814
01:14:32,551 --> 01:14:34,010
That's how
your mama like it!

1815
01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:35,804
BLITHE: Noah!
MARISA: Are you okay?

1816
01:14:35,888 --> 01:14:37,847
Yeah, it's too crazy
to explain. We gotta go!

1817
01:14:37,932 --> 01:14:39,015
What happened?

1818
01:14:39,100 --> 01:14:40,183
SLATER: Was that a real gun?

1819
01:14:42,895 --> 01:14:44,646
(SOMETIMES PLAYING)

1820
01:14:44,730 --> 01:14:47,649
Let me tell you about my day

1821
01:14:47,733 --> 01:14:50,318
It's such a very long day

1822
01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:52,987
It started around 7:00

1823
01:14:53,072 --> 01:14:55,240
And I can hear her pray

1824
01:14:55,324 --> 01:14:58,743
As I walk through the yard

1825
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:00,995
I could feel your presence

1826
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,415
Giving me the time of my life

1827
01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:05,500
And showering me
with life lessons

1828
01:15:05,584 --> 01:15:08,002
Now I know what they mean

1829
01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:11,089
When they said
keep your head to the sky

1830
01:15:11,173 --> 01:15:13,425
Don't be too quick to fit in

1831
01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:15,927
And don't feel
you have to try

1832
01:15:16,053 --> 01:15:19,889
This road is strange,
so strange it is

1833
01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:23,184
You know it really
hurts inside

1834
01:15:23,269 --> 01:15:25,103
Yeah, sometimes

1835
01:15:30,025 --> 01:15:34,446
We're here.

1836
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:40,285
You must think
I'm such a bitch.

1837
01:15:42,705 --> 01:15:44,247
You shouldn't
waste your feelings

1838
01:15:44,331 --> 01:15:45,874
on people
who don't value them.

1839
01:15:49,003 --> 01:15:50,253
You're right.

1840
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:51,421
I haven't been cool to you.

1841
01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:52,589
I know.

1842
01:15:52,673 --> 01:15:55,759
You haven't.
And I'm over it, too.

1843
01:16:00,306 --> 01:16:01,848
Take care
of yourself, Marisa.
All right?

1844
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,945
BLITHE:
Your girlfriend sucks.

1845
01:16:16,030 --> 01:16:17,614
Yes, she does.

1846
01:16:17,698 --> 01:16:20,033
Indeed she does.

1847
01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:22,494
Blithe, I want to
show you something.

1848
01:16:23,662 --> 01:16:25,538
Just because
you try and look
more grown up,

1849
01:16:25,623 --> 01:16:28,082
or try and act
like a celebrity,

1850
01:16:28,167 --> 01:16:30,585
or a famous person
or whatever,

1851
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:32,462
it's not gonna
get you more friends.

1852
01:16:33,088 --> 01:16:34,547
You're a kid.

1853
01:16:34,632 --> 01:16:36,299
And a pretty great one.

1854
01:16:40,846 --> 01:16:42,096
Wipe that shit
off your face.

1855
01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:43,598
You look insane, okay?

1856
01:16:43,682 --> 01:16:44,891
Okay.

1857
01:16:49,021 --> 01:16:51,272
You know what
"blithe" means?

1858
01:16:51,357 --> 01:16:53,191
What?

1859
01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:54,901
It means "joyous."

1860
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:03,201
SLATER: You know
what "late" means?

1861
01:17:03,744 --> 01:17:04,953
What?
"Late,"

1862
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:07,664
as in fucked, as in
we were all supposed
to be in bed by 1:00

1863
01:17:07,748 --> 01:17:08,998
and it's already 10 after.

1864
01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,542
Son of a bitch!

1865
01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:17,006
All right, looks like
we beat them home.
Let's go inside. Hustle.

1866
01:17:17,383 --> 01:17:18,716
(FAST MUSIC PLAYING)

1867
01:17:37,027 --> 01:17:44,826
Rodrigo!

1868
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:47,328
Hey! You guys see Rodrigo?

1869
01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:48,913
Hola, Rodrigo!

1870
01:17:48,998 --> 01:17:51,332
Rodrigo! Rodrigo!

1871
01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:54,252
Whoa. Weird.

1872
01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:56,254
That's the most
messed up thing
we've seen all night.

1873
01:18:03,387 --> 01:18:04,637
Noah, they're here!

1874
01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:06,806
Okay! Everyone
on the couch!
Let's go.

1875
01:18:06,891 --> 01:18:08,433
Let's go!
Get on the couch.
Come on!

1876
01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:12,604
The MMA world
is abuzz tonight

1877
01:18:12,688 --> 01:18:15,023
with the news of a brutal
out-of-the-ring assault

1878
01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:18,943
on local hero and
pro kickboxing legend
Ricky Fontaine.

1879
01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:22,363
Witnesses at
the Brooklyn house party
where the assault took place

1880
01:18:22,448 --> 01:18:25,033
described his attacker
as a young man,

1881
01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:27,285
accompanied by
three small children.

1882
01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:28,870
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
In another story,

1883
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:32,123
two small New York businesses
experienced bizarre
bathroom explosions.

1884
01:18:32,207 --> 01:18:33,249
Hello.

1885
01:18:33,334 --> 01:18:34,334
Hey, guys!

1886
01:18:34,418 --> 01:18:35,460
Hi. What?

1887
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:37,795
Hey! Welcome back!

1888
01:18:38,672 --> 01:18:40,465
What's going on?
It's after 1:00
in the morning.

1889
01:18:40,549 --> 01:18:42,550
These kids should be
in bed already, Noah.

1890
01:18:42,635 --> 01:18:44,052
Mom, it's not his fault.

1891
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,638
Yeah. We told him
our bedtime was 1:30.

1892
01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:50,433
I turned the clock back.
So sorry.
My deepest apologies.

1893
01:18:51,018 --> 01:18:52,226
NOAH: You darn kids!

1894
01:18:52,311 --> 01:18:54,270
Played a trick on me,
these little rascals.

1895
01:18:54,355 --> 01:18:55,605
I'm not buying it.

1896
01:18:55,689 --> 01:18:58,358
Everybody, upstairs.
Bed! Now.

1897
01:18:58,442 --> 01:18:59,484
Go brush your teeth.

1898
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:00,568
BLITHE: Sorry, Mom.

1899
01:19:00,653 --> 01:19:02,612
(SIGHS) And say
good night to Noah.

1900
01:19:02,696 --> 01:19:05,031
Maybe he'll be
nice enough to come back
and babysit again.

1901
01:19:05,115 --> 01:19:06,491
KIDS: Night, Noah.

1902
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:07,659
Night, guys.

1903
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,202
And Peter has
your money, okay?

1904
01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:10,453
Cool, thanks.

1905
01:19:10,537 --> 01:19:11,663
Oh, Noah!

1906
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:14,165
Your mom told me to tell you
not to wait up for her.

1907
01:19:14,249 --> 01:19:15,833
She and that guy
that I set her up with,

1908
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:17,418
Dr. Stevens,
went out to have
a nightcap.

1909
01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:20,713
Let me tell you,
I think she was having
a really good time.

1910
01:19:20,798 --> 01:19:22,090
Thanks for hooking
that up.

1911
01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:23,299
Thanks for babysitting.

1912
01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:24,467
See you next time.

1913
01:19:27,513 --> 01:19:29,722
I trust the kids
weren't too much trouble.

1914
01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:31,516
You got three great ones.

1915
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:33,017
Hey...

1916
01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:34,560
(SIGHING) You want
a recommendation?

1917
01:19:34,645 --> 01:19:36,229
Here's my advice.

1918
01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:39,148
Get your shit together.

1919
01:19:40,442 --> 01:19:42,026
You're right.

1920
01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:44,779
Maybe I do have some stuff
I need to work on.

1921
01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,114
But the last person
on Earth

1922
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:49,033
I need to take advice
from is you, sir.

1923
01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:50,868
Excuse me?

1924
01:19:51,286 --> 01:19:54,622
You're banging
your assistant, Debra,
and you're going to stop.

1925
01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:55,915
Do you understand me?

1926
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,835
I would be very careful
how you talk to me.

1927
01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:01,421
You'd better be very careful
how you talk to me.

1928
01:20:01,505 --> 01:20:04,215
Because I'm going
to be at home with
nothing going on.

1929
01:20:04,299 --> 01:20:06,676
And I'm going to
have one eye on
my three friends up there

1930
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:10,596
and the other eye
right on you.

1931
01:20:10,681 --> 01:20:12,765
I just want
you to get your
act together, Doc.

1932
01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:15,059
(SOFTLY) Fucking...

1933
01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:18,271
One more thing.
Your wife's smoking hot.

1934
01:20:18,355 --> 01:20:21,065
You need to get rid
of Debra and focus
on tapping that ass.

1935
01:20:23,861 --> 01:20:26,612
And there may be
a scratch or two
on your minivan!

1936
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:42,962
(CAR HONKING)

1937
01:20:43,047 --> 01:20:44,464
Hey, stranger!

1938
01:20:45,049 --> 01:20:46,466
Need a ride?

1939
01:20:53,932 --> 01:20:55,892
Hey, Roxanne. What's up?
Hey.

1940
01:20:55,976 --> 01:20:57,185
How'd you find me?

1941
01:20:57,269 --> 01:21:01,272
Oh, this little gizmo
kept beeping, so I
followed it to find you.

1942
01:21:01,356 --> 01:21:03,483
Which is a little creepy
now that I think about it.

1943
01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:06,360
That's okay.
Thank you for stalking me.

1944
01:21:06,695 --> 01:21:08,154
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
(MOBILE RINGING)

1945
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,697
Shit.

1946
01:21:10,783 --> 01:21:13,034
Oh. Let me guess.
Your girlfriend again?

1947
01:21:13,118 --> 01:21:14,452
No.

1948
01:21:14,536 --> 01:21:15,953
We broke up.

1949
01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:18,456
Oh. And you're just fine?
You seem fine.

1950
01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:20,458
Yeah, no, I'm great.

1951
01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:24,879
She's in hysterics,
but she'll be cool,
eventually. She'll move on.

1952
01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:28,883
Listen, I'm a free bird.
I got to fly. (CAWS)

1953
01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:30,802
Right.

1954
01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:32,720
I don't know
why I said that.
(LAUGHS)

1955
01:21:33,055 --> 01:21:34,305
(MOBILE RINGING)

1956
01:21:34,431 --> 01:21:35,932
Do you need to get that?

1957
01:21:36,016 --> 01:21:37,517
It's my dad, actually.

1958
01:21:38,310 --> 01:21:40,269
I think I'm gonna
let this one go to
voice mail.

1959
01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,813
Great.

1960
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,398
I have an idea.
Why don't we ditch the car?

1961
01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:46,984
It's a nice night
for a walk.

1962
01:21:47,569 --> 01:21:49,654
Okay. Sure.

1963
01:21:50,697 --> 01:21:51,781
Cool.

1964
01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:03,251
Looks like you had
a rough night.

1965
01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:04,418
Yeah.

1966
01:22:04,503 --> 01:22:06,838
But like a wise man
once told me,

1967
01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:09,173
"Make love to the night,
motherfucker.

1968
01:22:09,258 --> 01:22:10,341
"Make love to the night."

1969
01:22:10,425 --> 01:22:11,425
(ROXANNE LAUGHING)

1970
01:22:11,510 --> 01:22:14,387
Have you ever met a girl
that you tried to date

1971
01:22:14,471 --> 01:22:17,348
But a year, to make love,
she wanted you to wait

1972
01:22:17,432 --> 01:22:19,809
Let me tell ya a story
of my situation

1973
01:22:19,893 --> 01:22:23,062
I was talkin' to this girl
from the U. S. Nation

1974
01:22:23,147 --> 01:22:25,773
The way that I met her
was on tour at a concert

1975
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:28,484
She had really long hair
and a short miniskirt

1976
01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:31,279
ljust got onstage
drippin', pourin' with sweat

1977
01:22:31,363 --> 01:22:34,157
I was walkin'
through the crowd
and guess who I met

1978
01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,868
I whispered in her ear,
come to the picture booth

1979
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:39,912
So I can ask you
some questions to see
if you are a hundred proof

1980
01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:42,540
I asked her her name,
she said blah-blah-blah

1981
01:22:42,624 --> 01:22:45,626
She had 9/10 pants
and a very big bra

1982
01:22:45,711 --> 01:22:48,296
I took a couple of flicks
and she was enthused

1983
01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:49,505
I said,
how do you like the show?

1984
01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:51,382
She said,
I was very amused

1985
01:22:51,466 --> 01:22:54,135
I started throwin' bass,
she started throwin'
back mid-range

1986
01:22:54,219 --> 01:22:56,929
But when
I sprung the question,
she acted kind of strange

1987
01:22:57,014 --> 01:23:00,141
'Cause when I asked,
Do you have a man?
She tried to pretend

1988
01:23:00,225 --> 01:23:04,020
She said, no, I don't
I only have a friend

1989
01:23:04,104 --> 01:23:06,105
You must be buggin'

1990
01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:07,899
This is what I'm gonna sing

1991
01:23:08,567 --> 01:23:13,571
You, you got what I need

1992
01:23:13,655 --> 01:23:16,574
But you say
he's just a friend

1993
01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:20,161
And you say
he's just a friend
Oh, baby

1994
01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:24,916
You got what I need

1995
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:28,085
But you say
he's just a friend

1996
01:23:28,170 --> 01:23:31,672
But you say
he's just a friend
Oh, baby

1997
01:23:31,757 --> 01:23:36,385
You got what I need

1998
01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:42,391
But you say
he's just a friend

1999
01:23:42,476 --> 01:23:44,936
So please listen
to the message that I say

2000
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:48,022
Don't ever
talk to a girl who says
she just has a friend

2001
01:23:48,106 --> 01:23:50,650
Has a friend

2002
01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:57,698
Yeah

2003
01:23:57,783 --> 01:23:59,283
Premier and Slick Rick, kid

2004
01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:02,620
Jonah Hill

2005
01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:04,038
Yeah, kid, check it out

2006
01:24:04,122 --> 01:24:06,082
Good gosh
The world's so bad

2007
01:24:06,166 --> 01:24:07,917
It's trying to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2008
01:24:08,794 --> 01:24:11,212
Great gosh
I need some bad

2009
01:24:11,296 --> 01:24:13,130
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2010
01:24:13,590 --> 01:24:16,008
Are you peeping this floozy
Or queens, excuse me

2011
01:24:16,093 --> 01:24:18,719
Can't believe
how many times I had
to eat the chick's sushi

2012
01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:19,762
Who she?

2013
01:24:19,846 --> 01:24:21,347
Look at how a brother
gotta roll

2014
01:24:21,431 --> 01:24:23,641
All cold, kid
Anyway truth being told

2015
01:24:23,725 --> 01:24:26,227
Fit boy too big
Which one you pick

2016
01:24:26,311 --> 01:24:29,063
Rico suave
or chick one, two kid

2017
01:24:29,147 --> 01:24:31,232
Once I was born in this thick

2018
01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:33,442
Why I gotta deal
with this horniness tip

2019
01:24:33,527 --> 01:24:35,945
This, not enough flair
This, lack a lot wares

2020
01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:38,698
Got her holding my tears
Trying to act like who cares

2021
01:24:38,782 --> 01:24:41,075
Reaching, if I say
I see kids in the mix

2022
01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:43,661
Wanna cuddle
Go out something,
Trick with the chick

2023
01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:44,954
You know what I'm saying, kid

2024
01:24:45,038 --> 01:24:48,708
'Cause it's so bad,
trying to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2025
01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:52,837
I need some bad
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2026
01:24:53,714 --> 01:24:55,756
Good gosh the world's so bad

2027
01:24:55,841 --> 01:24:58,634
It's trying to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2028
01:24:58,719 --> 01:25:00,928
Great gosh I need some bad

2029
01:25:01,013 --> 01:25:03,472
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2030
01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:06,100
I want you, munch too,
comes to hun, how long do

2031
01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:08,769
Ma duke caught the kid
masturbating once too

2032
01:25:08,854 --> 01:25:11,105
Passed, looked stunned,
kept on like

2033
01:25:11,189 --> 01:25:13,524
Don't you have
a steady piece
to smash yet, son?

2034
01:25:13,608 --> 01:25:15,943
What to do, Mom,
none touching dude's joint

2035
01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:18,571
Like to see me out here
buying some prostitute's bum?

2036
01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:19,613
No?

2037
01:25:19,698 --> 01:25:21,991
Picking up scroin,
cop pursuing

2038
01:25:22,075 --> 01:25:23,784
From the stripper club
hair doing

2039
01:25:23,869 --> 01:25:25,953
Then laughed and none
but wise after

2040
01:25:26,038 --> 01:25:28,831
Soul mate, more than sex,
a live partner

2041
01:25:28,915 --> 01:25:30,541
Snatch can't get, cat frantic

2042
01:25:30,625 --> 01:25:33,753
So, in the meantime
stripper club,
lap dance tip

2043
01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:35,963
A professional
press box arouser

2044
01:25:36,048 --> 01:25:38,966
Some condoms so I don't
mess up me trousers

2045
01:25:39,051 --> 01:25:40,885
Then start paying,
mark swaying

2046
01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:43,763
Girlfriend just sit down
and start playing

2047
01:25:43,847 --> 01:25:45,639
Here's an extra,
parading the wealth

2048
01:25:45,724 --> 01:25:48,434
Don't want
a real kid feel like
I'm degrading myself

2049
01:25:48,518 --> 01:25:50,561
Bouncing on me funny,
bouncing with my money

2050
01:25:50,645 --> 01:25:53,356
Or it's back to playing
cat and mouse games
with the honey

2051
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:54,482
You know what I mean, kid

2052
01:25:54,566 --> 01:25:58,194
Caught a script so bad,
trying to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2053
01:25:58,278 --> 01:25:59,653
Say what, Slick Rick

2054
01:25:59,738 --> 01:26:03,324
I need some bad
'Bout to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2055
01:26:03,408 --> 01:26:07,370
Good gosh the world's so bad
Trying to drive me,
a sane man, mad

2056
01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,537
Jonah Hill, kid

2057
01:26:08,622 --> 01:26:13,459
Good gosh, need some bad,
About to drive me,
a sane man...

2058
01:26:17,005 --> 01:26:23,177
I need some bad

2059
01:26:24,554 --> 01:26:28,349
I need some bad
I need some bad

2060
01:26:31,937 --> 01:26:33,270
I need some bad

2061
01:26:52,165 --> 01:26:54,416
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