1
00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:43,636
<i>CARRIE: Once upon a long time ago,
there was an island...</i>

2
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:48,338
<i>... some Dutch, some Indians
and some beads.</i>

3
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:22,674
<i>And those beads led to steamboats
and skyscrapers...</i>

4
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:25,477
<i>... Wall Street and electric lights...</i>

5
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:29,349
<i>... newspapers, Ellis Island, the Yankees...</i>

6
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:32,616
<i>... Central Park and the first World's Fair...</i>

7
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:37,161
<i>... Broadway, the Chrysler Building
and Studio 54.</i>

8
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:40,493
<i>I like to think of that
as New York City B. C:</i>

9
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:41,827
<i>Before Carrie.</i>

10
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:45,603
Hi, guys.

11
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:50,034
<i>I arrived on this island
at exactly 3:30 p. M...</i>

12
00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:54,335
<i>... on Tuesday, June 11th, 1986.</i>

13
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:02,416
Oh. Oh!

14
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:06,218
Cab! Cab, cab, cab! Taxi! Ca...!

15
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,591
<i>It seems like only yesterday.</i>

16
00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:12,390
Taxi!

17
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:13,827
Thank you.

18
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:22,139
<i>The very next year, I met Charlotte.</i>

19
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:30,280
<i>We were on a subway car at 2 a.m.
When a homeless man dropped his pants.</i>

20
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:46,390
<i>Miranda and I met in 1989
at Bloomingdale's.</i>

21
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,591
<i>I was working in the dress department.</i>

22
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:51,965
<i>She was crying in the changing room.</i>

23
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,074
- Hey.
- Hey.

24
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:57,573
Hi. How are you?

25
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:03,410
<i>I met Samantha when she was
bartending at CBGB's.</i>

26
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,207
[CAR HORN HONKING]

27
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:07,614
[YELLS]

28
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:11,653
- Bite me!
MAN: My place or yours?

29
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,152
- Hi.
- How are you?

30
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,490
SAMANTHA:
Let's go.

31
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,859
Hi.

32
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,193
Ready?

33
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,800
<i>Time is a funny thing.</i>

34
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:26,632
<i>A decade can flash by
in an uneventful second.</i>

35
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:33,278
<i>And then, in just two years,
monumental things can happen.</i>

36
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:36,772
<i>Things you couldn't imagine happening
in a million years.</i>

37
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,145
Welcome to Bergdorf Goodman.
May I help you?

38
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,253
Yes, our friend is getting married.

39
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:44,151
- I never thought I'd see this day.
- You and me both.

40
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:45,655
Hell just froze over.

41
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,957
- What's the name?
- Oh, Blatch. It's Stanford Blatch.

42
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:52,427
Actually, I think they're registered
under both names.

43
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:56,568
Her best gay friend
is marrying my best gay friend.

44
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,465
- That's wonderful.
- I know.

45
00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,731
- Let me get the registry.
- Thanks.

46
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,637
How did this even happen?
I thought they hated each other.

47
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,746
It's like musical chairs. The music stopped
and they were the last two left standing.

48
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:12,044
When you thought everyone you knew was
too old to get married, here come the gays.

49
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:27,064
<i>And so, one weekend, we all gathered
at a charming inn in Connecticut...</i>

50
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:29,463
<i>... where the view was breathtaking...</i>

51
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,763
<i>... and the wedding was legal.</i>

52
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:37,336
How's my tie?

53
00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:43,640
- How's my tie?
- Wow.

54
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,544
You didn't tell me you were wearing that.

55
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,148
Well, I am the best man.

56
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:51,313
Oh, and you need a little help here.

57
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:55,587
So is a gay wedding shorter or longer
than a straight wedding?

58
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,492
- Why?
- Just wanna know what I'm in for.

59
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,361
Well, I think the marriage ceremony
is about the same...

60
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:05,698
...but I have no idea how long
the sacrificing of the straight men will take.

61
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,367
There you go.

62
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,638
Don't make me look too good.
Gay wedding.

63
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:16,612
Will you please stop referring to this
as a gay wedding?

64
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,308
Well, isn't it a gay wedding?

65
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,477
Well, yes, but it's not just a gay wedding.

66
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,316
It's Stanford and Anthony's wedding.

67
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,754
- Mm. Got it.
- Mm-hm.

68
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:31,887
Whoops. Your fly is down.

69
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,594
Better let me.
These things can be tricky.

70
00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:37,463
[ZIPPER ZIPS]

71
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,935
You did not pull it up.

72
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:44,100
I have to be there in an hour.
I'm the best man.

73
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:46,475
Then I better do my best.

74
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,773
Don't wanna be late
to my first gay wedding.

75
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,007
This is not a gay wedding.

76
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,845
Wasting time talking.

77
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,988
[CHEERING]

78
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,224
MAN:
Oh, come on, you're not gonna.

79
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:07,833
<i>CHOIR [SINGING]:
If ever I would leave you</i>

80
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,494
<i>It wouldn't be in summer</i>

81
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:16,073
<i>Seeing you in summer</i>

82
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:19,040
Okay, it's a gay wedding.

83
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:25,911
<i>Your hair streaked with sunlight</i>

84
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:28,111
Hey.

85
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:29,879
- Hey.
- Hello.

86
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,782
- White enough?
- This is what it looks like...

87
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,893
...when you stare directly into the sun.

88
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,824
Well, I think it's beautiful.

89
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,965
Oh, this wedding is way more
than beautiful.

90
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,157
It's Lady Di.

91
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,371
- Mommy, can I go look at the swans?
CHARLOTTE: Yes, honey.

92
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,597
Sure, baby.
Stay where we can see you, okay?

93
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,241
- Right there.
LILY: Hi, swans.

94
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,776
CHARLOTTE: Oh, there's Samantha. Hey.
- You brought your dog?

95
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:56,847
It's a gay wedding. I figured, what's
one more little bitch with an attitude?

96
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:59,177
You guys, shouldn't we be
a little bit more PC?

97
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:00,943
ANTHONY:
Char!

98
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,144
Anthony! Hey.

99
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:03,618
Can you believe this place?

100
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,452
It looks like the Snow Queen exploded.

101
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,360
- How's that for PC?
- True.

102
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,792
So you're not the wedding planner?

103
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:14,126
Hell to the no. I pulled out
when Stanford mentioned swans.

104
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:18,435
Finally, I just threw up my arms,
whatever he wants, give it to him.

105
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,593
Aw.

106
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,605
Yep, Stanford gets the wedding
of his dreams and I get to cheat.

107
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,769
And don't give me that face, Char.

108
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,506
Just because I'm getting married doesn't
mean I have to change who I am.

109
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:32,014
So you're allowed to cheat
because you're gay?

110
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,311
No, because I'm Italian.

111
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:34,680
[CHUCKLES]

112
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,549
Carrie, Stanford's looking for you.

113
00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:37,882
Cute hat.

114
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:39,285
MAN: Anthony.
ANTHONY: Coming.

115
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,927
I don't get it.
Why get married if you're gonna cheat?

116
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:46,030
Well, he didn't say he was going to cheat,
he just said he was allowed to cheat.

117
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,393
Is that how you heard it?

118
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:51,435
- Well, it's not really any of our business.
- Except, he told us.

119
00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:56,007
I'm just saying, I think every couple
has the right to make their own rules.

120
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,735
Well, not really. It's marriage.

121
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,778
- Hey, who wants a cocktail?
- Oh, I do.

122
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,611
And see if they have any food.
I need a little nosh.

123
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,754
Eight years later, she's finally a Jew.

124
00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:18,659
<i>CHOIR:
There were bells on a hill</i>

125
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:22,528
Oh, Stanny. You're wearing white.

126
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:23,993
Like a virgin.

127
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,400
Touched for the very first time.

128
00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:29,263
Hi.

129
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,738
So, what do you think of everything?

130
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,106
You have swans.

131
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:37,880
- Too much?
- When are swans ever too much?

132
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:39,951
I don't know what came over me.

133
00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:41,984
Remember that summer
when I got hooked on coke?

134
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:43,678
- Mm.
- This was like that.

135
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,721
Well, you dropped quite a bundle.

136
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,458
Well, I've been saving for this day
since I was 19.

137
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,597
You always knew you
were gonna get married?

138
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:55,461
Yes. I just thought it would be
to a chubby, patient Jewish girl.

139
00:08:56,969 --> 00:09:00,302
FYI, Anthony's out there telling people
he's allowed to cheat.

140
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:01,999
I know.

141
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:05,405
He hates the tradition
so he pushes against it.

142
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,974
So he is allowed to cheat?

143
00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:11,446
Yes, but only in the 45 states where
we're not legally married.

144
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,043
Okay, now you do mine.

145
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,614
"Carrie Preston"?

146
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,485
What?

147
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:26,792
Nothing, I'm just surprised not
to be "Bradshaw" at your wedding.

148
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:33,101
The wedding planner said that couples
are always listed under their married names.

149
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:34,830
Oh, that makes sense.

150
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:36,565
Are you taking Anthony's name?

151
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,767
No. We're guys.

152
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:42,938
"Guys"? Have you seen yourself
in the mirror, Lady Dior?

153
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:44,309
[CHUCKLES]

154
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:46,075
Bitch.

155
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,116
- Hey, did anybody send up my, um...?
- Oh.

156
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:54,251
Now, the boutonniere may say "Preston."

157
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,286
But the hat...

158
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,700
...says "Bradshaw."

159
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,670
<i>Sunrise, sunset</i>

160
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,713
<i>Sunrise, sunset</i>

161
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:23,310
<i>Swiftly flow the days</i>

162
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:30,392
<i>Seedlings turn overnight
To sunflowers</i>

163
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:37,025
<i>Blossoming even as we gaze</i>

164
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,229
<i>Sunrise, sunset</i>

165
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,738
Who's that hot straight guy with Carrie?

166
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:46,207
- That's Anthony's brother, Nicky.
- How can you tell that he's straight?

167
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,244
It's a gift.

168
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:02,658
Could this wedding get any gayer?

169
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,155
Look who's marrying them.

170
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,026
MAN:
Oh, my...

171
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,224
[PEOPLE GASPING]

172
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,733
<i>Sunrise, sunset</i>

173
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,666
Why would Liza say yes to this?

174
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:13,964
It's a law of physics.

175
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:18,406
Any time there's this much gay energy
in one room, Liza manifests.

176
00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:20,044
[LAUGHS]

177
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:23,613
<i>Another</i>

178
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:27,713
<i>Laden with happiness</i>

179
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:32,824
<i>And tears</i>

180
00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:41,697
<i>CARRIE: A little while later, it was time for
Stanford and Anthony to exchange vows.</i>

181
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:47,430
And now, the brooms have written their
own v..."Brooms"?

182
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,838
Bride, groom. Broom.

183
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:53,274
Oh, broom. Oh, that's marvelous.

184
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,143
Thank you, Liza Minnelli.

185
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:57,839
[LAUGHING]

186
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,515
Quiet, now.

187
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,209
Weddings are serious.

188
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,622
At least that's what I've heard.

189
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,058
"It was not exactly love at first sight.

190
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,256
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

191
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,462
But it turns out, it was love.

192
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:25,804
You are the first man to accept me...

193
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:32,248
...for the man that I actually am."

194
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,577
<i>That's the thing about tradition.</i>

195
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,952
<i>Like it or not, it sneaks in.</i>

196
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:42,051
Mazeltov!

197
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,227
MINNELLl:
Congratulations.

198
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,956
[MUSIC PLAYING]

199
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,128
<i>- [SINGING] All the single ladies
- [SINGING] All the single ladies</i>

200
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,500
<i>- All the single ladies
- All the single ladies</i>

201
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,904
<i>All the single ladies
Now put your hands up</i>

202
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,442
<i>Up in the club
We just broke up</i>

203
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,979
<i>I'm doing my own little thing</i>

204
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,617
<i>You decided to dip
But now you wanna trip</i>

205
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,549
<i>'Cause another guy noticed me</i>

206
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,655
<i>I'm up on him
He's up on me</i>

207
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,121
<i>Don't pay him any attention</i>

208
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,556
<i>Cried my tears
Three good years</i>

209
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:18,060
<i>Can't be mad at me</i>

210
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,630
<i>'Cause if you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

211
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,030
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

212
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,602
<i>Don't be mad
Once you see that he wants it</i>

213
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:28,069
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

214
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,901
<i>Whoa, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh</i>

215
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,805
<i>Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh</i>

216
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:35,538
<i>Whoa, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh</i>

217
00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:38,205
<i>Whoa, oh
Oh, oh, oh</i>

218
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:43,219
<i>Don't treat me to the things
Of the world</i>

219
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,220
<i>I'm not that kind of girl</i>

220
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:47,552
Hey. How's everything?

221
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:49,523
Fine. Rose is giving her a hard time.

222
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,192
Should I go up to the room?

223
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:54,332
What was the point of bringing
the nanny out here, then?

224
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,867
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, Rose is just driving us a little crazy.

225
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:02,701
No, not crazy. She's just a little fussy.
Everything's fine.

226
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,105
<i>MINNELLI [SINGING]:
If you don't you'll be alone</i>

227
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:11,876
<i>And like a ghost I'll be gone</i>

228
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,281
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

229
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,785
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

230
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:19,356
<i>Don't be mad
Once you see that he wants it</i>

231
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,187
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

232
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,352
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

233
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,794
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring on it</i>

234
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,264
<i>Don't be mad
Once you see that he wants it</i>

235
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:32,495
<i>If you liked it
Then you should've put a ring</i>

236
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:38,837
<i>Oh, ohh, ohhhh</i>

237
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,638
Good luck.

238
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,379
[CHEERING]

239
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:50,984
Now I know why we got married.

240
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:53,750
So we wouldn't have to dance
to that song at weddings.

241
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,985
That the only reason?

242
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,487
Yeah.

243
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,325
[LAUGHS]

244
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,967
- I have to try on your crown.
- Oh, you have to.

245
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,160
[PHONE CHIMES]

246
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,736
I'm sorry.

247
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,171
- Hey, I'm kissing here.
- I have to. It's from him.

248
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:12,776
It's Saturday. You're at a wedding.

249
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,572
Did I mention that he hates me?

250
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,510
Who would dare hate you?

251
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:20,982
The new senior law partner at her firm.
He rides her ass nonstop.

252
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:22,518
- Why?
MIRANDA: No idea.

253
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,815
It's like he can't stand the sound
of my voice.

254
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,584
Every time I open my mouth,
he shuts me down.

255
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,524
Sometimes he holds his hand up like this:

256
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:33,995
- Ew!
- Yeah. He hates me less over e-mail.

257
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:37,896
How's it going?

258
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:41,062
Good. Thanks.

259
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,772
Enjoy.

260
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,966
You have a nice night.

261
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,637
You have a nice night.

262
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,322
- Thank you.
- A guy just hit on me.

263
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,156
Really?

264
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,861
How's it make you feel?

265
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,234
Like I still got it.

266
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,302
You most certainly do.

267
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,167
- So sorry to bother you. I'm sorry.
- Sorry.

268
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:17,241
- I'm so sorry to bother you.
- It's okay.

269
00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:20,901
I've just been reading your books
for years and your column.

270
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,878
I swear,
we had the exact same dating life.

271
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,347
- Wow.
MAN: Cut to the chase, Ellen.

272
00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:27,678
She means she is you.

273
00:16:27,853 --> 00:16:29,514
I am. I am you.

274
00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:34,385
Well, in that case, may I introduce
you to your husband, John James Preston.

275
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,822
- Hi.
- Good to meet you.

276
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,826
- Hey.
- How long have you been married?

277
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:42,066
Well, it'll be two years next month.

278
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:44,498
We're married two years next month
as well.

279
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,002
- Wow. You are me.
ELLEN: I guess.

280
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,573
We're expecting a baby, and get this:
The due date is our anniversary.

281
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:55,076
Well, I'm not pregnant.
Well, I guess that's obvious.

282
00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:57,613
- Surrogate.
- Wow. Congratulations.

283
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,273
MAN:
You guys have kids?

284
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,885
If you need a surrogate service,
ours was flawless.

285
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:06,013
Oh, no, thanks. It's not a surrogate
situation. We're just not having children.

286
00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:07,849
You don't want kids?

287
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,892
Well, no, we love them.

288
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:11,461
It's just not for us.

289
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:16,329
So it's going to be just...

290
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:17,526
...you two?

291
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,797
Uh, but she does have a new book
coming out next month.

292
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,535
Great. Great. And what's that about?

293
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,409
Marriage.

294
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,675
Well...

295
00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:32,976
Have a nice night.

296
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,324
And all this time I thought Samantha
was my publicist.

297
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:45,986
I had to say something. She looked like
someone told her there was no Santa.

298
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,725
May I have your attention, please?

299
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:54,567
My son and his husband would like to ask
all couples to join them on the dance floor.

300
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,332
Oh, that's very nice, dear.

301
00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:57,998
Ohhh.

302
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,474
[PIANO PLAYING]

303
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,409
You're done. We're going to dance.

304
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,742
Fake to the right. Nice.

305
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:12,120
I'm done. I'm done. I'm done!

306
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,088
Dance me.

307
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:17,284
May I have the honor, Mrs. Goldenblatt?

308
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,328
You most certainly may.

309
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,624
<i>WOMAN [SINGING]:
Sad sensation</i>

310
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,699
<i>Lately I've not slept a wink</i>

311
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,428
CHARLOTTE: Come on, honey.
HARRY: Come on, sweetie.

312
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,663
CHARLOTTE:
Let's go dance.

313
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,500
Care to dance?

314
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,970
Just us two?

315
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,205
[LAUGHING]

316
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,577
Samantha, you look amazing.

317
00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:42,345
Oh, yes, you do.
What have you had done?

318
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:46,287
Nothing. I'm 100 percent natural.

319
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,824
I'm serious. I need names.

320
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,367
- Gentlemen.
- I heard that.

321
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:06,006
You looked pretty hot out there before.
Wanna dance again?

322
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:10,137
I can think of so many other more
fun things I'd rather do with you.

323
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:14,242
- I'm Nicky.
- Samantha.

324
00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:15,909
Nice to meet you, Samantha.

325
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,820
What do you do for a living, Nicky?

326
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,182
I lay concrete.

327
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:22,423
That sounds promising.

328
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:25,461
SAMANTHA: Yeah. Yeah!
NICKY: Yeah!

329
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:26,962
SAMANTHA: Yeah!
NICKY: Yeah!

330
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:29,032
SAMANTHA: Yeah!
NICKY: Yeah!

331
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,429
SAMANTHA: Yeah!
MAN: What the...?

332
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,295
SAMANTHA: Yeah.
NICKY: Yeah.

333
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:33,563
SAMANTHA: Yeah.
NICKY: Yeah.

334
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:36,207
SAMANTHA: Yeah.
NICKY: Yeah.

335
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:39,344
[SAMANTHA & NICKY YELLING]

336
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:45,682
[ROSE CRYING]

337
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,217
CHARLOTTE: Rose, come on, now.
Come on, now. Sleepy time.

338
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,877
Rose. Come on.

339
00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:52,523
Rose, Rose, Rose.

340
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,352
- Please?
- Good. Good. Here?

341
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,153
Let's go sleepy.

342
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:57,852
Please, Rose?

343
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,328
Come on, come on.

344
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,102
SAMANTHA: Yeah!
NICKY: Yeah!

345
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,533
SAMANTHA: Yeah!
NICKY: Yeah!

346
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,571
SAMANTHA: Yeah!
NICKY: Yeah!

347
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,299
[ROSE CONTINUES CRYING]

348
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:13,637
SAMANTHA:
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

349
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:16,645
- I don't know which is worse.
- Samantha.

350
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:19,648
The baby will tire eventually.

351
00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:21,914
Let's get a little white noise.

352
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:29,427
<i>MAN 1 [ON TV]: Right from your home.
Amnesty International.</i>

353
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,222
<i>MAN 2:
Visit any location. Lumber Liquid...</i>

354
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,762
<i>WOMAN:
Where do you want to...?</i>

355
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,028
<i>- Jackpot.
COLBERT: Do you mind if I try?</i>

356
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,260
A little black-and-white noise.

357
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,706
<i>It Happened One Night.</i>

358
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,568
CARRIE:
Never seen it.

359
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:47,234
Well, kid, you are in for a treat.

360
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,676
Climb up in here.

361
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:52,577
<i>GABLE:
What are you gonna do?</i>

362
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,151
<i>A system all my own.</i>

363
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,220
Oh, that's shocking.

364
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:05,420
For the '30s, it was.

365
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:11,467
Did you see it when it opened originally?

366
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:16,964
<i>Aren't you going to give me
a little credit?</i>

367
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:19,007
CARRIE:
She's pretty.

368
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:21,835
She's got nothing on you.

369
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,543
<i>CARRIE:
There Big and I were...</i>

370
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:29,710
<i>... somewhere between wild sex
and a baby.</i>

371
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:34,318
- Hey, you.
- Hey, how are you?

372
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,556
MAN 1: Hi, guys.
MAN 2: How are you?

373
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,329
CARRIE:
Thanks.

374
00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:47,336
- Ready to order?
- Um, I think we'll wait for our friend.

375
00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:48,530
WAITRESS: Okay. Yup.
MIRANDA: Thanks.

376
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:51,972
MAN: Okay. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah.
- That's a whole lot of health.

377
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,736
- How many are there?
- Forty-four.

378
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,146
I'm on the one-a-day Fruity Pebbles plan.

379
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,807
Women our age shouldn't joke
about vitamins.

380
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,045
Women who are not our age shouldn't
say "women our age."

381
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:06,156
- Yeah.
- Well, one day very soon you will thank me.

382
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,691
I am leading the way
through the menopause maze.

383
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:13,496
With my vitamins, my melatonin sleep
patches, my bioidentical estrogen cream...

384
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:16,532
...progesterone cream,
a touch of testosterone...

385
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:19,068
- She's the hormone whisperer.
- I am.

386
00:22:19,237 --> 00:22:22,104
I've tricked my body
into thinking it's younger.

387
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:25,437
I've tricked my body
into thinking it's thinner. Spanx.

388
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,071
And I'm telling you, no hot flashes,
no mood swings...

389
00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:32,182
...and my sex drive,
it's right back to where it was.

390
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,980
- Really? Hadn't heard.
- Where are you getting your information?

391
00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:39,248
From Suzanne Somers
and her team of doctors.

392
00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:41,392
I'll get you a copy. It's a revelation.

393
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,052
You're taking medical advice from
the woman who invented the ThighMaster?

394
00:22:45,230 --> 00:22:47,255
Damn right. Have you seen my thighs?

395
00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:49,263
Okay, go ahead, laugh. It's working.

396
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:52,926
By the time you ladies are 50, I'll be 35.

397
00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:55,972
CHARLOTTE: Take Mommy's hand.
- Oh, here she is.

398
00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:58,302
I thought it was just gonna be
the four of us.

399
00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,138
Don't worry, the nanny will be here.

400
00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:02,473
Harry's just not back from playing golf.

401
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:03,875
CARRIE:
Oh, here.

402
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,040
Let me hold that pretty
little morning Rose.

403
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,810
ROSE: No. No.
- Okay, no sale.

404
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:10,150
She just learned the word "no."

405
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:13,314
Good for her. We're hoping Samantha
learns it one of these days.

406
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:15,357
- Terrible twos.
- She's not terrible.

407
00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:18,587
No, of course, she's not terrible.
The terrible twos are terrible.

408
00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:19,924
Right.

409
00:23:20,532 --> 00:23:22,727
She's in the "I only want Mommy" phase.

410
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:23,925
And me and Erin.

411
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:27,230
That's right. Just you and me and Erin.

412
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:30,102
- Who's Erin?
- Her nanny.

413
00:23:30,275 --> 00:23:32,038
How are you gonna swallow all those?

414
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:33,575
Have we met?

415
00:23:35,213 --> 00:23:36,942
Erin!

416
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,761
- Good morning, ladies.
- Morning.

417
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:55,525
I hear it was quite the glorious wedding.

418
00:23:56,067 --> 00:23:57,932
[IN IRISH ACCENT]
It was.

419
00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,333
ERIN: Oh, and you must be
the famous Samantha.

420
00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,803
It's a pleasure to finally meet you.

421
00:24:02,974 --> 00:24:05,602
Now, I know a little girl...

422
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:09,508
...who would just love to practice
her cartwheels on the lawn.

423
00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:11,171
LILY: Yay.
ERIN: Yay.

424
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,641
CHARLOTTE:
Do you have the sunblock?

425
00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:15,944
ERIN:
Come to me, you little pet.

426
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,452
There you go.

427
00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:20,983
- Yes.
- You have yourselves a lovely morning.

428
00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:22,990
MIRANDA: You too.
CHARLOTTE: Thanks, Erin.

429
00:24:23,161 --> 00:24:26,187
- Oh, that is so sweet.
- I know.

430
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,057
That's your nanny?

431
00:24:28,233 --> 00:24:29,530
Yes, that's Erin.

432
00:24:29,701 --> 00:24:31,191
You mean Erin Go Braless.

433
00:24:31,369 --> 00:24:34,133
Ha, ha. She doesn't wear a bra.

434
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:37,332
- Was she wearing a bra at the job interview?
- I don't know.

435
00:24:37,509 --> 00:24:40,637
I was too busy thinking about her degree
in Children's Education...

436
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:43,679
...and how much the girls liked her.
- Her tits never came up?

437
00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:46,545
No, her tits never came up.

438
00:24:46,718 --> 00:24:49,516
- And she's amazing.
SAMANTHA: Well, I'm sure she is.

439
00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:53,749
But, honey, there ought to be a law
against hiring a nanny that looks like that.

440
00:24:53,925 --> 00:24:55,586
Yeah, the Jude Law.

441
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,092
[LAUGHING]

442
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:00,460
WAITRESS: Are we ready?
MIRANDA: Yes, I think so.

443
00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:01,894
LILY: One, two, three!
HARRY: Yeah, go!

444
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:08,428
That's a good girl! One more time!

445
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:20,080
<i>It seems it wasn't only the children that
were captivated by Charlotte's Irish nanny...</i>

446
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:22,516
<i>... and her lucky charms.</i>

447
00:25:30,161 --> 00:25:34,530
<i>And later that day,
Big and I arrived home.</i>

448
00:25:39,938 --> 00:25:41,929
BIG: Hot in here.
CARRIE: Yeah.

449
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,842
I'll get the air in the bedroom.

450
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,841
- You get the living room.
- Okay.

451
00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:50,038
<i>After Big and I sold the extravagant
rooftop penthouse...</i>

452
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:52,115
<i>... we thought we were meant to live in...</i>

453
00:25:52,284 --> 00:25:55,845
<i>... we decided that maybe we needed
to come a little more down to earth.</i>

454
00:25:56,021 --> 00:25:57,045
<i>So we did.</i>

455
00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,554
<i>Twelve floors, to be exact.</i>

456
00:26:00,425 --> 00:26:01,824
<i>We may be closer to earth...</i>

457
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:09,029
<i>... but we kept a little bit of heaven.</i>

458
00:26:29,054 --> 00:26:33,286
<i>MAN [ON TV]: We've got excellent panels,
some of the best blinds...</i>

459
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:37,822
It's 4:30. Where should
I make reservations? Any cravings?

460
00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:40,328
Don't we have anything to eat here?

461
00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:42,893
Nothing?

462
00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:47,334
<i>Come on. You knew when you married me
I was more Coco Chanel than coq au vin.</i>

463
00:26:47,505 --> 00:26:48,802
Let's just order in.

464
00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:50,669
We ordered in two nights last week.

465
00:26:51,576 --> 00:26:53,134
BIG:
Well, we've been out all weekend.

466
00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:56,446
Let's just stay home.

467
00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,379
Okay.

468
00:27:05,690 --> 00:27:09,182
- That couch is good, right?
- Mm-hm.

469
00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:11,261
Worth the year and a half wait.

470
00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:13,260
[CARRIE CHUCKLES]

471
00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:17,165
All we need is a piece for that corner
and we're done.

472
00:27:17,335 --> 00:27:18,734
You did good, kid.

473
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,350
You know you have your shoes
on the couch, right?

474
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,713
Year and a half, I'm just saying.

475
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:44,928
[DOORBELL RINGS]

476
00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:48,532
- That must be the rest of the luggage.
- Oh, good.

477
00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:52,897
For a minute I thought it might be
the shoe police.

478
00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,732
[LAUGHS]

479
00:27:55,707 --> 00:27:58,437
<i>And a few mornings later,
in a different home...</i>

480
00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:01,374
Why bring rat into New York house?

481
00:28:01,546 --> 00:28:04,413
So Brady can win the
second grade science fair. Right, B-boy?

482
00:28:04,582 --> 00:28:06,641
BRADY;
Yeah, I'm gonna win.

483
00:28:06,818 --> 00:28:09,116
- Sit down, please, have some breakfast.
- I can't.

484
00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:11,755
I have this presentation
and I'm sick to my stomach.

485
00:28:11,923 --> 00:28:14,983
I used to love going to work
and now I'm sick at the thought of it.

486
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,559
Here.

487
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:18,491
- Two bites.
- Thanks, Magda.

488
00:28:18,663 --> 00:28:20,688
You don't have to put
yourself through this.

489
00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:23,231
I'm a lawyer. That's who I am.

490
00:28:23,401 --> 00:28:26,131
Life's too short.
Go someplace where they appreciate you.

491
00:28:26,304 --> 00:28:29,762
Until you find a better job, you can be home
and help out around the house.

492
00:28:29,941 --> 00:28:32,341
MIRANDA:
I've waited too long to get here.

493
00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:34,102
I just have to suck it up.

494
00:28:34,279 --> 00:28:36,110
Yeah.

495
00:28:36,815 --> 00:28:39,079
Mom, you gonna come
to the science fair today?

496
00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:44,085
STEVE: Sorry, honey, she can't. Mommy's...
- She has to go to work. Yeah.

497
00:28:47,225 --> 00:28:51,093
MAN: We think that these new numbers
show a much more optimistic upside for us.

498
00:28:51,262 --> 00:28:53,389
And the savings that we found
for the client...

499
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:57,365
...will easily make up
for any escalated legal fees that they incur.

500
00:28:57,535 --> 00:28:58,627
So it's win-win.

501
00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:01,431
It's totally win-win, Tom.
And what's more, based on...

502
00:29:01,606 --> 00:29:04,234
Kevin, I'd like you to run
with this from here on.

503
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:05,706
But it's Miranda's case.

504
00:29:05,877 --> 00:29:09,074
Actually, it's the firm's case,
and as senior partner, I'm...

505
00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,212
Is there a problem?

506
00:29:12,383 --> 00:29:14,317
I don't know. Is there?

507
00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:16,750
Have something you'd like
to say to me in private?

508
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:20,448
I don't know that it needs
to be in private.

509
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:22,684
WOMAN:
Okay, and we're all paying attention.

510
00:29:22,861 --> 00:29:28,231
Honorable mention goes to Rachel
for "What is Static Electricity?"

511
00:29:28,399 --> 00:29:31,368
- Let's give her a big hand.
- What...?

512
00:29:31,536 --> 00:29:34,130
- I quit.
- Good for you.

513
00:29:35,373 --> 00:29:37,739
- You okay?
- I'll get another job. A better job.

514
00:29:37,909 --> 00:29:40,434
And I already called the headhunter.
Where's Brady?

515
00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:47,609
Now, our first prize goes to Brady
for his Mouse Maze.

516
00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:49,913
[SCREAMS]

517
00:29:50,088 --> 00:29:52,283
Hey, Mom, I won!

518
00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:53,947
I made it.

519
00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:55,149
I never make it.

520
00:29:55,326 --> 00:29:56,953
WOMAN: Good work, Brady.
MAGDA: Good boy.

521
00:29:58,029 --> 00:30:00,691
ERIN:
Your dolphin has got all the skills...

522
00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:03,459
...and it's gonna have a little swim
with the crab.

523
00:30:04,169 --> 00:30:06,194
Yes, it is, baby girl.

524
00:30:06,371 --> 00:30:09,363
Hey, cutie, come look.
Now, what does this do here?

525
00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:11,873
Look at this. Well, what is that gonna do?

526
00:30:32,163 --> 00:30:34,927
<i>There can be many tortured moments
in the life of someone...</i>

527
00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:36,930
<i>... who spends her days writing books.</i>

528
00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:39,228
<i>The antidote to those moments...</i>

529
00:30:39,404 --> 00:30:44,068
<i>... is the moment the finished book
finally arrives.</i>

530
00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:02,090
[PHONE RINGING]

531
00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:09,031
- Hello?
- Do I have anything to worry about?

532
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:13,034
- Can you be more specific?
- I mean with the nanny and Harry.

533
00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:14,398
That's just Samantha.

534
00:31:14,572 --> 00:31:16,870
You're the one who said that thing
about Jude Law.

535
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:20,977
Oh, sweetie, it was a joke. You know,
it was right there, I had to go for it.

536
00:31:21,145 --> 00:31:24,546
<i>- And it was funny.
- No, no, I really wish I hadn't said it.</i>

537
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,877
- Look, Mommy.
- Just a second, honey...

538
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:30,282
...I just have to finish these cupcakes
for the party tomorrow, okay?

539
00:31:30,455 --> 00:31:33,322
- Hey, wait, what was I saying?
- Should you be threatened.

540
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:34,549
Did I say "threatened"?

541
00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:36,720
Uh...

542
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,658
- Should I be threatened?
- Look, Mommy, look.

543
00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:41,458
Okay, honey. Let me just put Rose
in her chair. Carrie?

544
00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:43,464
<i>I'm gonna put you down for a second.</i>

545
00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:45,933
I'm gonna put the baby down,
I'll be right back.

546
00:31:46,104 --> 00:31:47,162
[ROSE SCREAMING OVER PHONE]

547
00:31:47,338 --> 00:31:49,966
- Ooh.
- It's okay. It's okay, sweetheart.

548
00:31:50,141 --> 00:31:52,268
- Oh, I know.
LILY: Look, Mommy, look.

549
00:31:52,443 --> 00:31:53,933
CHARLOTTE:
Oh, precious.

550
00:31:54,112 --> 00:31:55,739
- Look at me.
CHARLOTTE: It's okay.

551
00:31:56,347 --> 00:31:59,373
Look. Look.

552
00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:00,744
Okay, I'm listening.

553
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:05,253
Well, did you have any worries
before the Samantha comment?

554
00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:06,913
No, of course not.

555
00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:09,992
I love Erin and I trust Harry.

556
00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:12,254
I believe you just answered
your own question.

557
00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,489
Me, me, me!

558
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:17,294
Lily! This skirt is vintage.

559
00:32:18,169 --> 00:32:20,433
- What skirt?
- It's the cream Valentino.

560
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,470
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.

561
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,505
I've gotta go!

562
00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:26,166
Lily, look at what you did!

563
00:32:31,482 --> 00:32:34,781
Mommy just has to get something, okay?

564
00:32:43,194 --> 00:32:44,422
Mommy.

565
00:32:44,595 --> 00:32:47,428
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.

566
00:32:48,866 --> 00:32:50,663
Mommy will be out in a minute.

567
00:32:50,835 --> 00:32:52,996
LILY:
Mommy, Mommy.

568
00:32:53,171 --> 00:32:55,036
Mommy.

569
00:32:58,343 --> 00:33:00,709
I was just getting more sprinkles.

570
00:33:00,878 --> 00:33:02,106
Girls.

571
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,114
Let's go and play in my bedroom.

572
00:33:06,284 --> 00:33:08,582
Mommy needs some cooking time.

573
00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:11,881
<i>Charlotte was thankful
to have Erin come home at that moment.</i>

574
00:33:12,056 --> 00:33:14,616
<i>Threat or no threat.</i>

575
00:33:14,792 --> 00:33:16,350
<i>Bra or no bra.</i>

576
00:33:16,527 --> 00:33:18,518
Good. Come on, darling.

577
00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:21,863
<i>And from no bra
on the Upper East Side...</i>

578
00:33:22,033 --> 00:33:23,967
<i>... to no panties in Times Square.</i>

579
00:33:24,135 --> 00:33:26,296
It's 12 and your lunch is at 12:30.

580
00:33:26,471 --> 00:33:28,029
SAMANTHA:
I'm just freshening up.

581
00:33:32,076 --> 00:33:35,136
Call the restaurant and tell them
I'm going to be 15 minutes late.

582
00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:37,008
MEGHAN:
Samantha Jones.

583
00:33:39,917 --> 00:33:42,385
Smith Jerrod's on the phone.

584
00:33:47,325 --> 00:33:49,190
Refresh my memory.

585
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,420
- How do we know each other again?
SMITH: You used to do my publicity.

586
00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:54,221
Doesn't ring a bell.

587
00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:57,698
You used to do me.

588
00:33:58,236 --> 00:34:00,431
Oh, ding, ding ding.

589
00:34:00,605 --> 00:34:02,869
How's L.A.?

590
00:34:03,374 --> 00:34:05,239
I'm in Abu Dhabi.

591
00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:06,877
You're back in the Middle East?

592
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,707
SMITH: Yeah. We're shooting the poster
for the movie I made here.

593
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:13,146
And I just found out
that we're premiering in New York.

594
00:34:13,985 --> 00:34:16,852
I'm calling because I want you
on that red carpet next to me.

595
00:34:17,021 --> 00:34:18,113
WOMAN:
Smith.

596
00:34:18,456 --> 00:34:21,289
- You do?
- Hell, yeah.

597
00:34:22,093 --> 00:34:24,220
My career never would've happened
without you.

598
00:34:24,395 --> 00:34:26,329
Who else would I take to my big night?

599
00:34:26,497 --> 00:34:27,930
That is so sweet.

600
00:34:28,099 --> 00:34:29,157
[PHONE CHIMES]

601
00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:32,564
Oh. Honey? I gotta go.

602
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:35,467
I'm pulling up my panties
to get to a lunch date.

603
00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:40,501
[ERYKAH BADU'S "WINDOW SEAT"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

604
00:34:40,678 --> 00:34:42,077
Not to brag...

605
00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:45,272
...but did I make us
a delicious anniversary meal?

606
00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,785
It was delicious.

607
00:34:47,952 --> 00:34:49,613
And you did brag.

608
00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:52,253
Oops.

609
00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:55,950
You have a little osso buco right...

610
00:34:57,595 --> 00:34:59,062
...there.

611
00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:02,597
See, that's one of the perks of eating
at home. You get to kiss the cook.

612
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:03,756
And no tipping.

613
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:04,924
[LAUGHING]

614
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,901
- More wine?
- Yes, please.

615
00:35:20,218 --> 00:35:21,879
Happy anniversary.

616
00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:24,754
- Now?
- Yes, now.

617
00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:27,948
Before I'm lulled into a coma
by your light Milanese fare.

618
00:35:47,345 --> 00:35:50,576
- Very nice.
- It's vintage. It's from 1968.

619
00:35:51,215 --> 00:35:52,705
[WHISTLES]

620
00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:54,249
Very, very nice.

621
00:35:54,919 --> 00:35:59,686
And it's engraved.

622
00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:03,688
BIG:
"Me and you.

623
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:06,224
Just us two."

624
00:36:17,808 --> 00:36:19,935
Your gift is in the bedroom.

625
00:36:20,111 --> 00:36:23,376
There better be something in there
I haven't already seen.

626
00:36:41,832 --> 00:36:43,094
Well, I've seen the desk.

627
00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:46,368
But you haven't seen
what's in the desk.

628
00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:52,299
A state-of-the-art flat-screen.

629
00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:58,772
<i>WOMAN [ON TV]: And when
bedtime comes, take them in your arms...</i>

630
00:36:58,950 --> 00:37:00,679
<i>- And...
- ... into your dreams.</i>

631
00:37:00,851 --> 00:37:05,720
<i>WowWee Alive comes in pups.
Each sold separately from WowWee.</i>

632
00:37:06,958 --> 00:37:10,724
So we can lay in bed and watch
old black-and-white movies.

633
00:37:11,829 --> 00:37:15,128
The only word I heard
in that sentence was "old."

634
00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:17,130
Come on.
You remember how nice it was...

635
00:37:17,301 --> 00:37:19,428
<i>...at the hotel watching
It Happened One Night.</i>

636
00:37:19,604 --> 00:37:25,099
Yes. And it was nice because
it only happened one night in a hotel.

637
00:37:28,879 --> 00:37:29,937
Did I fuck up?

638
00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:36,186
Well, a piece of jewelry
would've been nice.

639
00:37:36,354 --> 00:37:38,515
Oh.

640
00:37:38,689 --> 00:37:40,486
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

641
00:37:40,658 --> 00:37:42,990
Can you get me and Big invited
to Smith's premiere?

642
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,958
- Oh, yeah, sure.
- Good.

643
00:37:47,064 --> 00:37:49,897
I think we need some glamour.

644
00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:52,729
You know, the television
and the ordering in...

645
00:37:52,903 --> 00:37:57,135
...it's just getting
a little too "Mr. And Mrs. Married."

646
00:37:57,308 --> 00:38:01,369
- You'll have a good time.
- Yeah. Ooh.

647
00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:04,807
Look at that.

648
00:38:05,583 --> 00:38:08,245
Very nice.

649
00:38:09,987 --> 00:38:12,512
It is a fabulous dress for the premiere.

650
00:38:12,690 --> 00:38:15,215
What's the worst thing
they could say about me in this dress?

651
00:38:15,393 --> 00:38:16,382
Uh...

652
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,825
- "Who the hell does she think she is?"
- Just went to the top of my list.

653
00:38:19,997 --> 00:38:22,056
So, um, you and Smith.

654
00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:24,326
You're going
to this premiere together as...?

655
00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:27,835
Oh, honey, just friends. But I may
throw him a fuck if I like the movie.

656
00:38:28,005 --> 00:38:30,735
Oh, that's nice. That should take
the edge off the reviews.

657
00:38:30,908 --> 00:38:34,207
Carrie. I haven't seen you here
in forever.

658
00:38:34,378 --> 00:38:37,643
Yeah, I know. I've been cheating on fashion
with furniture.

659
00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:41,376
- So, what can I help you with?
- Well, we need to find a red-carpet look...

660
00:38:41,552 --> 00:38:43,986
...for my friend Samantha.
- And I think we found it.

661
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:45,645
Is that maybe a little young?

662
00:38:47,758 --> 00:38:48,884
I don't know.

663
00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:51,893
Exactly how old do you think I am?

664
00:38:53,230 --> 00:38:54,458
And not that it matters...

665
00:38:54,632 --> 00:38:58,659
...but I am 50-fucking-2
and I will rock this dress.

666
00:38:59,370 --> 00:39:01,429
I'll get you a changing room.

667
00:39:01,605 --> 00:39:04,073
<i>How's the writing going?
Still working for Vogue?</i>

668
00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:06,903
- Freelance.
- Oh, that's fabulous.

669
00:39:09,113 --> 00:39:10,375
You had to do that to her?

670
00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:12,175
Well, how else is she gonna learn?

671
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:13,442
<i>And speaking of Vogue...</i>

672
00:39:13,617 --> 00:39:16,950
...they want you to write a piece
to accompany the release of your book.

673
00:39:17,121 --> 00:39:20,488
Oh, great. Has there been any long-lead
press reaction to the book yet?

674
00:39:20,658 --> 00:39:23,218
Not yet, but I'm sure it'll all be fabulous.

675
00:39:30,234 --> 00:39:31,258
Is that you?

676
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:33,602
I hope so.

677
00:39:34,271 --> 00:39:37,206
- Who else has a key?
- The Gristedes delivery boy.

678
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:39,070
Really?

679
00:39:39,243 --> 00:39:42,872
Well, you know, you want food at home,
that's a risk you take.

680
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:46,881
Don't get too comfortable on that couch.
We have to be at the premiere in an hour.

681
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:49,178
- Is that tonight?
- Mm-hm.

682
00:39:49,353 --> 00:39:51,787
- On a Monday?
- Yes.

683
00:39:52,490 --> 00:39:54,117
We don't go out on Mondays.

684
00:39:55,860 --> 00:39:58,886
Well, first of all,
I didn't know we didn't...

685
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:03,591
...and second of all, problem?

686
00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:05,395
The market fell a hundred points...

687
00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:08,629
...and now I have to get dressed up
and go to some Hollywood thing?

688
00:40:08,806 --> 00:40:11,673
All you have to do
is put on a fresh shirt.

689
00:40:11,842 --> 00:40:13,104
Can't you go without me?

690
00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:16,371
I don't wanna go without you.
I wanna go with you.

691
00:40:16,547 --> 00:40:18,606
That's the point.

692
00:40:18,983 --> 00:40:21,747
Me and you out on the town.

693
00:40:21,919 --> 00:40:23,944
I've been out on the town for 30 years.

694
00:40:24,121 --> 00:40:26,021
I've seen the town, kid.

695
00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:28,021
You go have fun with your friends.

696
00:40:28,192 --> 00:40:30,319
But I wanna spend time with you.

697
00:40:30,494 --> 00:40:33,861
Oh, well, if you wanna spend time
with me, we'll stay here.

698
00:40:34,031 --> 00:40:37,057
At our home. Which you made so perfect.

699
00:40:37,234 --> 00:40:38,997
[PATTING PILLOW]

700
00:40:39,170 --> 00:40:43,470
You just don't want to get your ass
off the couch.

701
00:40:46,377 --> 00:40:48,709
All right, fine. Stay.

702
00:40:48,879 --> 00:40:50,005
I'll go with Stanford.

703
00:40:50,181 --> 00:40:51,876
Okay.

704
00:40:52,516 --> 00:40:55,383
<i>MAN [ON TV]:
Information. What is it...?</i>

705
00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:00,848
What's that?

706
00:41:01,759 --> 00:41:05,320
Oh, I picked up some dinner
from that new Japanese place on Madison.

707
00:41:12,102 --> 00:41:17,005
<i>- before their acquisition changed history,
before the merger, certainty...</i>

708
00:41:17,174 --> 00:41:21,543
<i>... before action, knowledge.
Thomson Reuters.</i>

709
00:41:23,948 --> 00:41:25,472
Throw this back. We're going.

710
00:41:25,649 --> 00:41:27,742
- I thought you just said...
- I changed my mind.

711
00:41:27,918 --> 00:41:31,581
Do you really want to be pushed and shoved
in a crowd and eat bad catered food?

712
00:41:31,755 --> 00:41:36,317
Yes. Yes. I'm dying
to be pushed and shoved in a crowd...

713
00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,860
...and eat bad catered food.

714
00:41:39,029 --> 00:41:42,795
I'm dying to eat anything
that doesn't come in a takeout box.

715
00:41:42,967 --> 00:41:44,127
Bottoms up.

716
00:41:44,301 --> 00:41:46,462
I'll put out a fresh shirt.

717
00:41:54,778 --> 00:41:58,908
MAN:
Fans on the right, take models to the left.

718
00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:01,176
I think we're a little overdressed,
don't you?

719
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:02,819
Please walk off the red carpet.

720
00:42:02,987 --> 00:42:04,545
Oh, we're VIPs. See?

721
00:42:04,722 --> 00:42:06,986
Show your bracelets.

722
00:42:07,157 --> 00:42:08,556
Show your bracelet.

723
00:42:09,059 --> 00:42:10,219
MAN 1:
Smith! Right here!

724
00:42:10,394 --> 00:42:12,555
- One more.
MAN 1: One more.

725
00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:16,223
Samantha looks smoking hot.

726
00:42:16,934 --> 00:42:18,799
Is that dress maybe a little young?

727
00:42:18,969 --> 00:42:20,698
MAN 2: Miley!
WOMAN: Miley!

728
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:23,601
MAN 3: Miley!
- Maybe.

729
00:42:23,774 --> 00:42:24,934
ANTHONY:
Mother of God.

730
00:42:25,109 --> 00:42:27,805
She's wearing the same dress
as teen queen Miley Cyrus.

731
00:42:28,312 --> 00:42:31,076
STANFORD: I know what's gonna happen,
but I can't look away.

732
00:42:31,248 --> 00:42:33,079
It's a red-carpet Hindenburg.

733
00:42:35,252 --> 00:42:37,152
MAN 1: Right this way, Miley!
MAN 2: Over here!

734
00:42:37,321 --> 00:42:40,051
Awkward times two.

735
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:43,557
WOMAN:
Miley! Miley, is that your mother?

736
00:42:43,727 --> 00:42:47,060
MAN 3:
Miley! Miley, right here! Miley!

737
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:50,394
<i>CARRIE: Sometimes, a girlfriend
is a girl you've never even met.</i>

738
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:51,762
Great dress.

739
00:42:51,936 --> 00:42:53,665
Thanks for saying that.

740
00:42:53,837 --> 00:42:57,000
And all is right in Hollywood.

741
00:42:57,575 --> 00:42:59,042
- Ooh.
- Just got pushed.

742
00:43:00,511 --> 00:43:03,036
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

743
00:43:03,647 --> 00:43:05,547
<i>In the VIP room at the after-party...</i>

744
00:43:05,716 --> 00:43:08,549
<i>... Samantha found herself
in the middle of the Middle East...</i>

745
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:12,348
<i>... seated directly across
from the film's producer, Sheikh Khalid.</i>

746
00:43:12,523 --> 00:43:16,152
This is our first venture
into the world film market...

747
00:43:16,327 --> 00:43:18,227
...and we are honored
to be represented...

748
00:43:18,395 --> 00:43:22,456
...by such a magnificent American star
as Smith Jerrod.

749
00:43:22,633 --> 00:43:23,657
- Thank you.
- Thanks.

750
00:43:23,834 --> 00:43:26,029
But you should really be
thanking Samantha.

751
00:43:26,203 --> 00:43:29,434
I mean, it's all her.
I was just a waiter before she came along.

752
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:32,838
She handled my public relations
and made everybody see me as a star.

753
00:43:33,877 --> 00:43:34,901
Is this true?

754
00:43:35,079 --> 00:43:36,444
Well...

755
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:37,911
...yes.

756
00:43:38,082 --> 00:43:39,447
[CHUCKLING]

757
00:43:40,084 --> 00:43:42,484
Have you ever been
to the United Arab Emirates?

758
00:43:42,653 --> 00:43:45,213
No, and I could kick myself.

759
00:43:45,389 --> 00:43:49,291
But friends of mine have been to Dubai
and they say it is amazing.

760
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,655
Dubai is...

761
00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:54,457
I am at a loss for the word in English.

762
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:56,497
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

763
00:43:58,669 --> 00:44:00,000
Dubai is over.

764
00:44:00,170 --> 00:44:04,004
- Really?
- With all respect to my Emirate brother...

765
00:44:04,174 --> 00:44:05,801
...Abu Dhabi is the future.

766
00:44:06,276 --> 00:44:10,872
A progressive, global city of commerce,
culture and...

767
00:44:11,048 --> 00:44:12,811
...style.

768
00:44:13,717 --> 00:44:17,084
- It is the new Middle East.
- The new Middle East.

769
00:44:17,254 --> 00:44:21,520
But you should see it for yourself.
As my guest, at my new hotel.

770
00:44:22,526 --> 00:44:25,518
And if it does not interfere too much
with your wonderful time...

771
00:44:26,030 --> 00:44:28,521
...we might be able
to discuss some business.

772
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,295
- Business?
- Perhaps you could make...

773
00:44:31,468 --> 00:44:36,496
...America see my hotel as a star
as you did with Smith Jerrod.

774
00:44:38,909 --> 00:44:40,934
And suddenly, it's all about the couch.

775
00:44:41,111 --> 00:44:43,579
Two years ago, we never even
uttered the word "couch."

776
00:44:43,747 --> 00:44:46,580
And now, our entire universe
revolves around it.

777
00:44:46,750 --> 00:44:47,944
Count your blessings.

778
00:44:48,118 --> 00:44:51,110
Remember when you couldn't even
get him to sleep over?

779
00:44:51,388 --> 00:44:52,412
Yeah, I know. I know.

780
00:44:52,589 --> 00:44:56,025
We're out tonight. He could at least slap
on a smile and have a good time.

781
00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:59,856
Already had a nervous breakdown.
No, believe me...

782
00:45:00,297 --> 00:45:02,390
He seems to be having a good time now.

783
00:45:02,566 --> 00:45:04,557
CARRION:
People think that Spaniards don't work...

784
00:45:05,102 --> 00:45:08,594
...that we just take siestas
and drink Rioja and go to the beach.

785
00:45:08,772 --> 00:45:12,264
There was a jumbo shrimp free-for-all
at the raw bar.

786
00:45:13,010 --> 00:45:16,138
- I'm gonna be... I'll be right back.
- Okay.

787
00:45:16,313 --> 00:45:19,942
Every night before bed,
I am on my knees praying:

788
00:45:20,117 --> 00:45:22,312
"Please, God, let it stay up."

789
00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:29,492
- Please let what stay up?
- Hi. The stock market.

790
00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:32,151
- This is Carmen Garcia Carrion.
- Carrion.

791
00:45:32,329 --> 00:45:33,557
- Carrion.
- Very good.

792
00:45:34,264 --> 00:45:36,789
She is the Senior Vice President
of the Bank of Madrid.

793
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:38,592
- Hi.
CARRIE: Hi.

794
00:45:38,769 --> 00:45:40,737
- This is...
- Carrie Preston. Hi.

795
00:45:40,904 --> 00:45:44,271
Oh, Carrie Preston. Nice to meet you.
Your husband is very charming.

796
00:45:44,441 --> 00:45:45,931
Isn't he?

797
00:45:46,310 --> 00:45:50,576
So you were right about the catered food
and the shoving.

798
00:45:50,748 --> 00:45:53,182
So I'm ready to go whenever you are.

799
00:45:53,350 --> 00:45:54,977
Oh.

800
00:45:55,385 --> 00:45:58,047
- Well, nice to meet you both.
- Nice to meet you.

801
00:45:58,222 --> 00:45:59,746
I'll try to keep it up for you.

802
00:45:59,923 --> 00:46:02,721
- You're so funny. He's very funny.
- He is.

803
00:46:02,893 --> 00:46:03,985
- Good night.
- Good night.

804
00:46:04,161 --> 00:46:06,254
Bye. Good night.

805
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:08,489
<i>MAN 1 [ON TV]:
Is that all you got?</i>

806
00:46:12,402 --> 00:46:15,997
<i>MAN 2: I mean, all we're trying to do is just
keep from getting dead.</i>

807
00:46:16,507 --> 00:46:17,531
<i>Damn!</i>

808
00:46:17,708 --> 00:46:23,146
<i>MAN 3: Since the very first Deadliest Catch
cameras rolled seven seasons ago...</i>

809
00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:25,175
It's a little loud.

810
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,613
<i>- the fleet has gone on
more than 60 voyages.</i>

811
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:34,154
And for the record,
that is not a black-and-white movie.

812
00:46:34,324 --> 00:46:35,723
What?

813
00:46:35,893 --> 00:46:39,329
That was supposed to be
for black-and-white movies...

814
00:46:39,496 --> 00:46:42,192
...and that
is not a black-and-white movie.

815
00:46:44,768 --> 00:46:48,636
When the gay guy hit on me
at the wedding you thought it was funny.

816
00:46:50,073 --> 00:46:52,007
I'm not upset about the flirt.

817
00:46:52,176 --> 00:46:56,636
I like the flirt. In fact, you could dial up
the flirt around here a little more.

818
00:46:56,814 --> 00:46:59,248
I get TV and take-out guy...

819
00:46:59,416 --> 00:47:02,146
...and Bank of Madrid lady,
she gets sparkle guy.

820
00:47:05,789 --> 00:47:08,758
I'm sorry. Are we having a discussion
or watching television?

821
00:47:08,926 --> 00:47:10,985
What is it with you and this television?

822
00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:13,152
I don't wanna be one of those couples...

823
00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:17,391
...lying in bed,
watching television and not talking.

824
00:47:17,568 --> 00:47:20,503
That is not the relationship
I signed up for.

825
00:47:20,938 --> 00:47:23,566
It's a television,
not the end of the world.

826
00:47:23,740 --> 00:47:26,106
Well, maybe to you it's not.

827
00:47:26,276 --> 00:47:28,938
<i>The Bering Sea has many faces.</i>

828
00:47:33,617 --> 00:47:35,778
You're not happy in,
and you're not happy out.

829
00:47:38,121 --> 00:47:39,247
What does that mean?

830
00:47:39,590 --> 00:47:41,217
Well, what do you want from me?

831
00:47:41,391 --> 00:47:43,985
I put on the shirt, I went to the thing...

832
00:47:44,161 --> 00:47:47,995
...and now you're hammering me
about lying in bed and watching a little TV?

833
00:47:48,165 --> 00:47:49,962
I mean, what is the problem?

834
00:47:56,273 --> 00:47:57,797
Look...

835
00:47:58,809 --> 00:48:01,107
...it's just going to be you and me...

836
00:48:01,278 --> 00:48:04,406
...every night, for the rest of our lives.

837
00:48:04,581 --> 00:48:07,550
And I think that we are going...

838
00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:10,243
...to have to work on the sparkle...

839
00:48:10,420 --> 00:48:12,388
...for the rest of our lives.

840
00:48:13,257 --> 00:48:14,884
Sparkle.

841
00:48:15,058 --> 00:48:16,389
Got it.

842
00:48:27,871 --> 00:48:29,338
<i>Listen to that!</i>

843
00:48:29,506 --> 00:48:34,102
<i>When it starts really screaming, the waves
stack up, and you've got these big, nasty...</i>

844
00:48:34,278 --> 00:48:37,213
<i>MAN 1: You can, by unlocking
the power of natural juice...</i>

845
00:48:37,381 --> 00:48:39,406
<i>... with Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer.</i>

846
00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:41,380
<i>MAN 2:
Change your life. Save your life.</i>

847
00:48:41,551 --> 00:48:43,610
<i>You are the most important person
you have.</i>

848
00:48:43,787 --> 00:48:45,618
<i>If you don't do it, who will?</i>

849
00:48:45,789 --> 00:48:50,283
<i>Juicing is the easy way to help save
your life. And I guarantee it.</i>

850
00:48:50,460 --> 00:48:52,690
<i>MAN 1:
So don't delay. Drink yourself healthy.</i>

851
00:48:52,863 --> 00:48:56,060
<i>Start enjoying the benefits of fresh,
all-natural juice.</i>

852
00:48:56,233 --> 00:48:58,724
<i>Order your Jack LaLanne
Power Juicer now.</i>

853
00:49:34,905 --> 00:49:37,339
<i>CARRIE: The last two years
weren't exactly the best time...</i>

854
00:49:37,507 --> 00:49:39,031
<i>... to put an apartment on the market.</i>

855
00:49:39,209 --> 00:49:40,574
<i>So we didn't.</i>

856
00:49:40,744 --> 00:49:43,474
<i>And from time to time,
I'd come here to write.</i>

857
00:49:48,785 --> 00:49:50,514
<i>Or to visit the clothes.</i>

858
00:50:00,964 --> 00:50:03,023
[PHONE RINGS]

859
00:50:06,136 --> 00:50:08,070
- Hello?
- What time did you wake up?

860
00:50:08,238 --> 00:50:10,570
I don't know, about 6.

861
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:15,736
<i>I'm worried about the Vogue article,
so I wanted to get started.</i>

862
00:50:15,912 --> 00:50:17,937
You haven't written over there in a while.

863
00:50:18,115 --> 00:50:20,015
<i>Yeah, I know. I know. I just...</i>

864
00:50:20,183 --> 00:50:23,710
I don't know, I thought it would be easier
to work here. No distractions.

865
00:50:24,721 --> 00:50:26,348
<i>- Okay.
- Anyway, it's due Thursday...</i>

866
00:50:26,523 --> 00:50:30,050
...and I'm not even sure
what I'm writing yet, so, um...

867
00:50:30,227 --> 00:50:32,525
Maybe I should just stay here
until I get it done.

868
00:50:32,996 --> 00:50:34,327
You're going to stay there?

869
00:50:34,498 --> 00:50:36,864
<i>Just two days.
You know, just to bang it out.</i>

870
00:50:37,501 --> 00:50:39,731
<i>- Is that all right?
- Whatever you need.</i>

871
00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:42,601
<i>- Everything okay?
- Yeah.</i>

872
00:50:42,773 --> 00:50:46,265
No, I just feel like I really need
to lock myself in a room...

873
00:50:46,443 --> 00:50:51,210
...and not think about anything
but writing.

874
00:50:51,748 --> 00:50:52,772
Okay?

875
00:50:53,216 --> 00:50:54,240
Okay.

876
00:50:54,418 --> 00:50:57,649
<i>- Just two days. Okay?
- Okay.</i>

877
00:50:58,255 --> 00:50:59,517
<i>- Okay.
- Bye.</i>

878
00:50:59,689 --> 00:51:01,122
Bye.

879
00:51:02,526 --> 00:51:04,824
<i>And I did think about nothing but writing.</i>

880
00:51:05,195 --> 00:51:08,494
<i>Until the next day, when I could think
about nothing but food.</i>

881
00:51:08,665 --> 00:51:12,157
<i>And as long as I was going to break
to eat anyway, I thought:</i>

882
00:51:12,335 --> 00:51:13,768
<i>"Why not call the girls?"</i>

883
00:51:13,937 --> 00:51:16,167
One week in Abu Dhabi,
all expenses paid.

884
00:51:16,573 --> 00:51:20,566
I've always been fascinated by
the Middle East. You know, desert moons...

885
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:23,542
...Scheherazade, magic carpets.

886
00:51:23,713 --> 00:51:27,911
<i>- Like Jasmine in Aladdin?
- Yes, sweetie, just like Jasmine.</i>

887
00:51:28,085 --> 00:51:29,780
But with cocktails.

888
00:51:31,154 --> 00:51:35,648
- It is exciting. When are you gonna go?
- I don't know. When can you all be free?

889
00:51:37,494 --> 00:51:39,758
You didn't think I was going
without my gals.

890
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:42,296
- What?
- I told the sheikh I'd go on one condition:

891
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:44,931
I'd get to bring my three best girlfriends.

892
00:51:45,102 --> 00:51:46,899
- Get out of town.
- My point exactly.

893
00:51:47,070 --> 00:51:50,506
And we are being flown
on the sheikh's own airline.

894
00:51:50,674 --> 00:51:52,471
- He has his own airline?
- Mm-hm.

895
00:51:52,642 --> 00:51:56,476
- Oh, that is one chic sheikh.
SAMANTHA: Super, super, super first class.

896
00:51:56,646 --> 00:51:59,809
And you get your own individual suite
on the plane.

897
00:51:59,983 --> 00:52:01,780
- Oh, my God.
SAMANTHA: All expenses paid for...

898
00:52:01,952 --> 00:52:04,887
...everything for all of us.
All we have to do is pick the week.

899
00:52:05,055 --> 00:52:08,286
And the sooner, the better.
I can hear the decadence calling.

900
00:52:08,458 --> 00:52:11,518
Let me just check my work schedule.
Yeah. All clear.

901
00:52:12,362 --> 00:52:15,957
I gotta check with the old ball and chain,
but I'm good to go. Middle East me.

902
00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:17,896
Charlotte, how's three weeks from now?

903
00:52:18,068 --> 00:52:19,865
Oh, I don't know. L...

904
00:52:20,237 --> 00:52:23,729
We have to go this month. Next month,
it gets so hot, you burst into flames.

905
00:52:23,907 --> 00:52:26,171
I bet that's not on their website.

906
00:52:26,343 --> 00:52:28,277
I mean, I don't know if I can go at all.

907
00:52:28,445 --> 00:52:29,537
I have two children.

908
00:52:29,713 --> 00:52:31,271
Yes, yes, but you have a husband.

909
00:52:31,448 --> 00:52:35,009
And a full-time nanny. You said so yourself.
The kids love the nanny, right?

910
00:52:36,119 --> 00:52:38,917
- Yes, but...
SAMANTHA: But what? What's the problem?

911
00:52:39,089 --> 00:52:41,250
I mean, we haven't been
anywhere together...

912
00:52:41,424 --> 00:52:44,188
...since Carrie and Big's wedding blowup
honeymoon disaster.

913
00:52:44,361 --> 00:52:46,295
- Memories.
- And that was two years ago.

914
00:52:46,463 --> 00:52:50,490
Two years of bad business
and this bullshit economy, and I'm done.

915
00:52:50,667 --> 00:52:53,067
We need to go somewhere rich.

916
00:52:53,236 --> 00:52:55,170
- Samantha, I appreciate the...
- No.

917
00:52:55,338 --> 00:52:57,966
I go to children's birthday parties for you.

918
00:52:58,141 --> 00:53:01,201
You are going to Abu Dhabi for me.

919
00:53:01,378 --> 00:53:03,369
MIRANDA:
Children's birthday parties.

920
00:53:03,547 --> 00:53:04,912
Pulling out the big guns.

921
00:53:11,888 --> 00:53:13,048
- Okay.
- Thank you.

922
00:53:13,223 --> 00:53:16,351
Look at us. Going to Abu Dhabi.

923
00:53:22,632 --> 00:53:24,293
[PHONE RINGS]

924
00:53:25,902 --> 00:53:27,836
<i>- Hello.
BIG: How'd it go?</i>

925
00:53:28,004 --> 00:53:30,234
Just finished.
And thanks for the time.

926
00:53:30,407 --> 00:53:34,036
<i>How soon can you be dressed for dinner?
I have 9:00 reservations.</i>

927
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:35,940
Well...

928
00:53:36,112 --> 00:53:37,477
...it's 8:30 already.

929
00:53:37,647 --> 00:53:39,638
<i>I'm downstairs.</i>

930
00:53:41,418 --> 00:53:44,581
<i>CARRIE:
And just like that, it was 1998 again.</i>

931
00:53:44,754 --> 00:53:46,381
I'll be right down.

932
00:54:07,677 --> 00:54:09,804
- Hey, kid.
- Hey.

933
00:54:10,213 --> 00:54:11,475
I missed you.

934
00:54:12,115 --> 00:54:14,049
I missed you.

935
00:54:20,190 --> 00:54:22,385
<i>We had a wonderful dinner out.</i>

936
00:54:22,559 --> 00:54:23,856
<i>And back at home...</i>

937
00:54:24,027 --> 00:54:28,327
<i>... the television stayed off
the entire night.</i>

938
00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:36,095
<i>And pretty soon,
the Middle East was upon us.</i>

939
00:54:36,506 --> 00:54:38,565
I need that.

940
00:54:39,009 --> 00:54:41,842
- Almost packed?
- One more to go.

941
00:54:43,246 --> 00:54:46,443
I had an idea I wanted
to talk to you about.

942
00:54:46,816 --> 00:54:50,013
Remember when you took those
two days away to finish your article...

943
00:54:50,186 --> 00:54:53,087
...and then we had that great night?
- Mm-hm.

944
00:54:53,256 --> 00:54:55,520
Maybe we should think
about doing that every week.

945
00:54:57,260 --> 00:54:58,284
Hear me out.

946
00:54:59,529 --> 00:55:03,898
After you took those two days
at your old apartment, I started thinking:

947
00:55:04,067 --> 00:55:05,466
What if I got a place?

948
00:55:06,169 --> 00:55:10,071
- You want your own apartment?
- No, not my own apartment.

949
00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:12,708
Just a place that I can go
two days a week...

950
00:55:13,076 --> 00:55:16,512
...lie around, watch television,
do the shit I wanna do that bugs you.

951
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,147
And then the other five days...

952
00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:23,184
...I'd be here and available
for dinners and sparkle or whatever.

953
00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:28,356
So you're telling me that you want
two days off a week from our marriage.

954
00:55:28,525 --> 00:55:30,390
And you'd have the same two days.

955
00:55:30,794 --> 00:55:32,159
Oh, my God.

956
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:34,456
To work or see your friends.

957
00:55:34,631 --> 00:55:36,462
Do the things you wanna do without me.

958
00:55:36,633 --> 00:55:39,500
But I don't wanna do things without you.

959
00:55:39,669 --> 00:55:41,296
Carrie, come on, I know you.

960
00:55:41,471 --> 00:55:44,736
Can you honestly tell me you didn't enjoy
those two days to yourself?

961
00:55:45,475 --> 00:55:49,411
Two days, yes,
but I don't need it every week.

962
00:55:49,779 --> 00:55:53,772
Are you saying you need it every week?

963
00:55:54,317 --> 00:55:57,218
I don't know, it was just an idea.
Something to think about.

964
00:55:58,388 --> 00:56:00,754
Marriage doesn't work like that.

965
00:56:01,624 --> 00:56:04,752
I thought we were supposed to be
making up our own rules.

966
00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:15,169
So two days, then four days,
then what, no days?

967
00:56:15,338 --> 00:56:19,001
- Is that where this is heading?
- I never would've brought it up if I thought...

968
00:56:19,175 --> 00:56:22,406
...it was gonna make you think I want out.
Look, I knew two years ago:

969
00:56:22,579 --> 00:56:24,570
I am exactly where I wanna be.

970
00:56:25,081 --> 00:56:26,412
Five days a week.

971
00:56:26,583 --> 00:56:30,144
Look, I'm just trying to make it
a little easier for us to live together.

972
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:31,787
I mean, we're married...

973
00:56:31,955 --> 00:56:33,820
...but we're still us.

974
00:56:34,224 --> 00:56:36,988
Is this because I'm a bitch wife
who nags you?

975
00:56:39,963 --> 00:56:42,329
I feel like I'm disappointing you
all the time.

976
00:56:42,799 --> 00:56:45,632
No, you're not disappointing me.

977
00:56:47,637 --> 00:56:48,899
Well, something is.

978
00:56:55,478 --> 00:56:59,414
So, what would I tell the girls?
"Big and I are taking two days a week off...

979
00:56:59,582 --> 00:57:02,608
...to make our marriage work better"?
They'd never understand.

980
00:57:02,786 --> 00:57:04,515
I don't care if they understand.

981
00:57:04,687 --> 00:57:06,154
This is our marriage.

982
00:57:06,322 --> 00:57:09,257
Me and you. Just like you said.

983
00:57:10,193 --> 00:57:11,683
Carrie...

984
00:57:11,861 --> 00:57:14,125
...we're adults without children.

985
00:57:14,297 --> 00:57:17,130
We have the luxury to design our life.

986
00:57:18,234 --> 00:57:20,498
Well, you can't get your own apartment.

987
00:57:20,670 --> 00:57:23,161
That would freak me out
and it's a waste of money.

988
00:57:25,308 --> 00:57:28,072
You can have my old place
two days a week.

989
00:57:29,279 --> 00:57:34,376
Temporarily, till I figure out
how I feel about this.

990
00:57:35,585 --> 00:57:39,021
And I can take it back any time.

991
00:57:40,990 --> 00:57:42,014
Deal.

992
00:57:42,959 --> 00:57:44,187
[PHONE RINGS]

993
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,089
- There's the car.
- I'll get your bags.

994
00:57:46,262 --> 00:57:47,661
Oh, yes, you will.

995
00:57:47,831 --> 00:57:51,927
And in a week, I'll pick you up
at the airport and take you home.

996
00:57:52,101 --> 00:57:54,069
Whose home, yours or mine?

997
00:57:55,004 --> 00:57:56,665
Ours.

998
00:58:07,350 --> 00:58:09,750
WOMAN 1: Welcome.
CHARLOTTE: Thank you.

999
00:58:09,919 --> 00:58:11,716
<i>WOMAN 2 [OVER PA]:
Ladies and gentlemen...</i>

1000
00:58:11,888 --> 00:58:15,824
<i>... we are pleased to welcome you onboard
our flight to Abu Dhabi International Airport.</i>

1001
00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:18,358
- Nice.
- Hi.

1002
00:58:21,164 --> 00:58:22,859
Wow.

1003
00:58:27,303 --> 00:58:28,964
Welcome aboard Afdal Air.

1004
00:58:29,138 --> 00:58:30,833
Thank you.

1005
00:58:31,007 --> 00:58:33,168
Thank you. I love your hat.

1006
00:58:33,676 --> 00:58:35,109
Thank you.

1007
00:58:35,278 --> 00:58:37,269
And I thought mine
was gonna be too much.

1008
00:58:38,348 --> 00:58:39,508
Oh, my God.

1009
00:58:39,682 --> 00:58:42,082
- This is bigger than my first apartment.
- Hot towel?

1010
00:58:42,252 --> 00:58:43,947
And everything is so beautiful.

1011
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:46,247
Just like I promised: The best of the best.

1012
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:49,417
And look:

1013
00:58:50,059 --> 00:58:51,424
Arabic Pringles.

1014
00:58:51,594 --> 00:58:53,186
Okay, now I'm impressed.

1015
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:55,831
WOMAN 1: Date?
WOMAN 2: Would you care for a date?

1016
00:58:55,999 --> 00:58:59,196
Not on vacation five minutes
and I already got a date.

1017
00:58:59,369 --> 00:59:02,896
Dates are the traditional welcome fruit
of the Middle East.

1018
00:59:03,072 --> 00:59:05,563
I read that in one of these.

1019
00:59:05,742 --> 00:59:09,576
- Oh. You moving there?
- I've got us covered. The dos and don'ts.

1020
00:59:09,746 --> 00:59:10,974
And speaking of don'ts...

1021
00:59:11,147 --> 00:59:13,945
...men and women do not embrace
in public in the Middle East.

1022
00:59:14,117 --> 00:59:17,018
Eh, eh, eh!
No, no, no. She's talking to you, sister.

1023
00:59:17,186 --> 00:59:20,314
Oh, please.
We're going to the new Middle East.

1024
00:59:20,490 --> 00:59:23,323
And when I need a break
from all the real information...

1025
00:59:25,929 --> 00:59:27,590
...I have this.

1026
00:59:31,701 --> 00:59:32,725
Let me see this.

1027
00:59:32,902 --> 00:59:35,598
[WOMAN SPEAKING
IN ARABIC OVER PA]

1028
00:59:36,439 --> 00:59:39,897
Oh, listen. How exotic.
I wonder what she's saying.

1029
00:59:40,076 --> 00:59:43,603
Probably telling us not to bring
those magazines on a 13-hour plane ride...

1030
00:59:43,780 --> 00:59:47,614
...with an impressionable woman.
- Charlotte, honey, don't read that.

1031
00:59:50,186 --> 00:59:51,813
Sorry.

1032
00:59:51,988 --> 00:59:54,149
[SAMANTHA LAUGHING]

1033
00:59:55,959 --> 00:59:58,587
You see,
it becomes a "Y" after a few drinks.

1034
00:59:58,761 --> 01:00:00,991
- I see.
- Care for another round, ladies?

1035
01:00:01,164 --> 01:00:02,461
[SPEAKS IN ARABIC]

1036
01:00:02,632 --> 01:00:04,862
It means "yes."

1037
01:00:05,134 --> 01:00:06,795
[SPEAKS IN ARABIC]

1038
01:00:06,970 --> 01:00:09,268
Yeah, not the best word for her to learn.

1039
01:00:09,439 --> 01:00:11,304
How many times are you gonna read that?

1040
01:00:14,877 --> 01:00:20,076
Big and I are thinking about taking
two days a week apart to do our own thing.

1041
01:00:20,249 --> 01:00:21,273
Is everything okay?

1042
01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:24,318
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just something we're talking about.

1043
01:00:24,487 --> 01:00:27,786
You know, he would get two days off
to do his things...

1044
01:00:27,957 --> 01:00:29,925
...and on those days,
I would do my things.

1045
01:00:30,093 --> 01:00:33,927
You know, like write
or have dinner with you guys...

1046
01:00:34,097 --> 01:00:36,622
...or I don't know, whatever.

1047
01:00:36,799 --> 01:00:38,664
Love it. I'm available.

1048
01:00:38,835 --> 01:00:41,804
Two days off?
You make marriage sound like a job.

1049
01:00:41,971 --> 01:00:44,462
Well, it may not be a job, but it's work.

1050
01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:47,075
Well, would that mean
that you would have two nights off too?

1051
01:00:47,243 --> 01:00:48,676
Mm-hm.

1052
01:00:48,845 --> 01:00:51,837
- Where would you sleep?
- Well, he's gonna stay at my old place...

1053
01:00:52,015 --> 01:00:53,607
...and I'll stay at our new place.

1054
01:00:53,783 --> 01:00:56,650
I loved that time when Steve and I
knew we were together...

1055
01:00:56,819 --> 01:01:00,380
...but we still had our own places.
That was the best of both worlds.

1056
01:01:00,556 --> 01:01:04,583
I just think marriage is two people...

1057
01:01:04,761 --> 01:01:07,696
...night after night,
sleeping in the same bed.

1058
01:01:07,864 --> 01:01:10,458
You have four people in your bed.

1059
01:01:10,633 --> 01:01:13,329
I've had four people in my bed.

1060
01:01:14,037 --> 01:01:15,163
[MIRANDA GROANS]

1061
01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:16,600
No?

1062
01:01:16,773 --> 01:01:18,138
Well, ladies...

1063
01:01:18,307 --> 01:01:22,141
...I am going to slap on
a patch of melatonin...

1064
01:01:22,311 --> 01:01:24,609
...and have a seven-star snooze.

1065
01:01:24,781 --> 01:01:27,875
- I will see you in the Middle East.
- Night.

1066
01:01:28,051 --> 01:01:30,281
[SPEAKS IN ARABIC]

1067
01:01:30,453 --> 01:01:31,579
It means "good night."

1068
01:01:31,754 --> 01:01:33,449
[SPEAKS IN ARABIC]

1069
01:01:35,758 --> 01:01:36,952
I'm sorry.

1070
01:01:37,126 --> 01:01:38,753
Explain it again.

1071
01:01:38,928 --> 01:01:40,691
Just, what is it really about?

1072
01:01:44,467 --> 01:01:47,561
Big and I are just trying
to make our own rules.

1073
01:01:47,737 --> 01:01:50,535
You know, figure out what works best
for us as a couple...

1074
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:52,800
...not what society says should work
for us.

1075
01:01:52,975 --> 01:01:55,205
Okay. God.

1076
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:56,470
Charlotte...

1077
01:01:56,646 --> 01:01:58,876
...we're adults with no children.

1078
01:01:59,048 --> 01:02:02,142
We have the luxury
to design our own life.

1079
01:02:04,687 --> 01:02:07,918
But doesn't it hurt your feelings
that he would want time off?

1080
01:02:12,528 --> 01:02:14,655
You just don't get it.

1081
01:02:26,008 --> 01:02:28,408
<i>Somewhere over Africa...</i>

1082
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:30,910
<i>... I began to wonder about relationships.</i>

1083
01:02:34,417 --> 01:02:37,511
<i>Can we really ever expect anyone
on the outside...</i>

1084
01:02:38,121 --> 01:02:42,455
<i>... to understand what goes on
between two other people?</i>

1085
01:02:44,861 --> 01:02:49,230
<i>Eight time zones and a change
of clothes later, we arrived in the future.</i>

1086
01:02:49,398 --> 01:02:52,094
Have any of you ladies ever been
to the Middle East before?

1087
01:02:52,268 --> 01:02:55,203
No, we're all virgins.

1088
01:02:59,242 --> 01:03:01,107
Thank you.

1089
01:03:03,312 --> 01:03:07,078
Super, super, super gentle.
Thank you, thank you.

1090
01:03:23,499 --> 01:03:24,989
I am sorry, but...

1091
01:03:25,268 --> 01:03:27,566
...do you have any drugs in your luggage?

1092
01:03:27,737 --> 01:03:30,706
No. Just my hormones.

1093
01:03:34,977 --> 01:03:36,638
You gotta be kidding me.

1094
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:39,748
I am sorry. It is just a UAE law.

1095
01:03:39,916 --> 01:03:42,885
But they're all natural.
They're made from yams.

1096
01:03:43,452 --> 01:03:46,546
Ladies, these are not drugs.

1097
01:03:47,690 --> 01:03:51,456
Okay, I need to speak to an ambassador
or an embassy...

1098
01:03:51,627 --> 01:03:53,492
...or someone in menopause.

1099
01:03:53,663 --> 01:03:54,925
Samantha, please calm down.

1100
01:03:55,097 --> 01:03:59,227
<i>- This is getting very, very Midnight Express.
- Okay. Fine, take them.</i>

1101
01:04:00,736 --> 01:04:04,467
Without those creams and vitamins,
I will go ricocheting back into menopause.

1102
01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:08,371
- Relax, it's one week.
- Tell that to the beard I'll be growing.

1103
01:04:08,544 --> 01:04:11,741
We've set your meeting
with Sheikh Khalid for the end of your trip...

1104
01:04:11,914 --> 01:04:14,178
...after you and your friends
have experienced...

1105
01:04:14,350 --> 01:04:16,682
...the best of what Abu Dhabi has
to offer.

1106
01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:18,514
Which starts right now.

1107
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,280
Yours for the entire trip.

1108
01:04:20,723 --> 01:04:23,214
Four new Maybachs.

1109
01:04:25,561 --> 01:04:27,358
Wow, do we need all four?

1110
01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:29,964
It is already arranged.

1111
01:04:34,070 --> 01:04:38,234
I'll be in my own private air conditioning.

1112
01:04:39,141 --> 01:04:42,577
I will be departing from you here.
The hotel awaits your arrival.

1113
01:04:42,745 --> 01:04:46,374
If you need me for anything,
please do not hesitate to ask.

1114
01:04:46,549 --> 01:04:48,380
Could you help me check
and make sure...

1115
01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:50,985
...that my iPhone
has the proper international code?

1116
01:04:52,722 --> 01:04:56,818
I think that we can find someone
not so official to help with that.

1117
01:04:57,226 --> 01:04:59,820
- He offered.
- Hey, what's the holdup?

1118
01:04:59,996 --> 01:05:02,521
We got a lot of Abu Dhabi to do.

1119
01:05:02,698 --> 01:05:05,258
Abu Dhabi do.

1120
01:05:06,736 --> 01:05:07,998
Welcome to Abu Dhabi.

1121
01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:09,933
- Thank you.
- Pleasure.

1122
01:05:21,851 --> 01:05:23,842
Oh, my God.

1123
01:05:58,587 --> 01:06:00,248
[CARRIE GASPS]

1124
01:06:00,423 --> 01:06:04,223
Oh, Toto, I don't think
we're in Kansas anymore.

1125
01:06:07,029 --> 01:06:08,189
Miss Jones?

1126
01:06:08,364 --> 01:06:10,025
I am Mr. Safir, the hotel manager.

1127
01:06:10,866 --> 01:06:13,733
- I trust your flight was pleasant?
- Like a magic carpet.

1128
01:06:14,103 --> 01:06:16,162
- How charming. For you.
- Oh, thank you.

1129
01:06:16,339 --> 01:06:18,000
- Please, for you.
- Thank you.

1130
01:06:18,174 --> 01:06:20,039
Please... Oh, thank you.

1131
01:06:20,209 --> 01:06:22,370
This way, if you please, ladies.

1132
01:06:22,545 --> 01:06:24,376
How do we tip in Abu Dhabi?

1133
01:06:24,547 --> 01:06:26,412
Have you got any loose rubies?

1134
01:06:27,917 --> 01:06:30,977
SAFIR: We have many wonderful things
planned for you at the hotel.

1135
01:06:33,089 --> 01:06:35,922
CHARLOTTE: Oh. This is gorgeous.
SAFIR: Thank you.

1136
01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:39,186
And, please, some Arabic coffee.

1137
01:06:39,362 --> 01:06:42,024
- Thank you.
- Made with rose water and cumin.

1138
01:06:42,198 --> 01:06:43,222
[SPEAKS IN ARABIC]

1139
01:06:43,399 --> 01:06:44,559
That means "thank you."

1140
01:06:45,067 --> 01:06:47,035
- You speak Arabic?
- Not yet.

1141
01:06:47,737 --> 01:06:49,864
SAFIR:
Well, you're off to a great start.

1142
01:06:53,609 --> 01:06:54,769
It's different.

1143
01:06:54,944 --> 01:06:56,343
Not your cup of tea.

1144
01:06:56,512 --> 01:06:58,241
- What's with all the men?
- Thank you.

1145
01:06:58,414 --> 01:07:00,177
SAFIR:
Oh, the World Cup trials are here.

1146
01:07:00,349 --> 01:07:01,509
SAMANTHA:
Wow.

1147
01:07:01,684 --> 01:07:04,847
- Did they also bring their balls?
- Yes, they have many, many balls.

1148
01:07:05,221 --> 01:07:07,382
This way please, for your private elevator.

1149
01:07:07,556 --> 01:07:09,922
- We have a private elevator?
- Apparently.

1150
01:07:13,729 --> 01:07:15,959
[ELEVATOR DINGS]

1151
01:07:25,007 --> 01:07:26,338
This can't be for us.

1152
01:07:26,509 --> 01:07:28,101
We must not be in the right place.

1153
01:07:28,277 --> 01:07:32,043
No, for once in my life,
I can say without a shadow of a doubt...

1154
01:07:32,214 --> 01:07:35,547
...I am in the exact right place.

1155
01:07:39,088 --> 01:07:40,783
Who ordered the cute?

1156
01:07:43,392 --> 01:07:45,087
Welcome to the Jewel Suite.

1157
01:07:45,528 --> 01:07:47,120
- Who is Miss Jones?
- I am.

1158
01:07:47,296 --> 01:07:49,423
We are thrilled to welcome you
and your guests.

1159
01:07:49,598 --> 01:07:51,498
- Thank you.
GAURAU: Abdul will be your butler...

1160
01:07:51,667 --> 01:07:53,191
...Miss Jones.
- Mm.

1161
01:07:53,369 --> 01:07:55,269
- Miss Bradshaw?
- Oh, that's me.

1162
01:07:55,438 --> 01:07:59,067
- I am Gaurau. I will be here to serve you.
- Thank you.

1163
01:07:59,241 --> 01:08:00,936
And Resir for Miss Hobbes.

1164
01:08:01,477 --> 01:08:03,069
It's "Hobbes."

1165
01:08:03,245 --> 01:08:04,803
I'm so very sorry.

1166
01:08:05,214 --> 01:08:06,681
No, it's...

1167
01:08:06,849 --> 01:08:08,840
It's not a big deal. It's fine.

1168
01:08:09,952 --> 01:08:11,283
And Adman for Miss York.

1169
01:08:12,955 --> 01:08:14,684
If you will, please, follow us.

1170
01:08:16,392 --> 01:08:19,486
- We each get our own butler?
- Makes sense, we each get our own car.

1171
01:08:19,662 --> 01:08:23,223
Rotunda. Miss York, this way, if you will.

1172
01:08:24,233 --> 01:08:26,758
"York"? What happened to "Goldenblatt"?

1173
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:29,598
- It's the Middle East.
- It's the new Middle East.

1174
01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:32,570
It's the Middle East.

1175
01:08:33,476 --> 01:08:36,639
This is the den.
Complete with its own private bar.

1176
01:08:36,812 --> 01:08:39,440
Ooh. Belly up, ladies.

1177
01:08:39,615 --> 01:08:41,173
[WOMEN LAUGHING]

1178
01:08:41,750 --> 01:08:45,345
There is also a private kitchen
available for you day and night.

1179
01:08:45,521 --> 01:08:47,989
Dream come true.

1180
01:08:48,424 --> 01:08:52,383
In here,
you will find your informal lounge.

1181
01:08:52,561 --> 01:08:54,688
[GASPING AND OOHING]

1182
01:08:54,864 --> 01:08:57,230
Through there, the double boudoir.

1183
01:08:57,399 --> 01:08:58,423
- Roomies.
- Roomies.

1184
01:08:58,601 --> 01:09:01,832
And in here, the formal salon.

1185
01:09:06,542 --> 01:09:09,511
And, ladies, out on the terrace...

1186
01:09:14,049 --> 01:09:16,381
...you have an overview
of the entire grounds.

1187
01:09:16,552 --> 01:09:17,780
[WOMEN GASPING]

1188
01:09:17,953 --> 01:09:22,151
There's also a bar pool,
five international restaurants, a spa...

1189
01:09:22,324 --> 01:09:24,053
...a fitness center, a nightclub...

1190
01:09:24,226 --> 01:09:26,694
...and, of course,
the beach and beach clubs.

1191
01:09:26,862 --> 01:09:30,889
I've taken the liberty of arranging massages
for you, followed by an early dinner.

1192
01:09:31,066 --> 01:09:34,229
Then you can have a good night's rest
and wake up tomorrow fresh.

1193
01:09:34,403 --> 01:09:36,735
There's nothing I don't love
about everything you just said.

1194
01:09:36,906 --> 01:09:38,567
[WOMEN LAUGHING]

1195
01:09:38,741 --> 01:09:41,073
Here is Abdul with drinks.

1196
01:09:41,243 --> 01:09:42,733
If there is anything you need...

1197
01:09:42,912 --> 01:09:46,780
...please do not hesitate to ask.
We are at your service.

1198
01:10:05,634 --> 01:10:08,364
<i>MIRANDA:
The robes are called abayas...</i>

1199
01:10:08,537 --> 01:10:12,439
<i>...and the veil that covers everything
except the eyes is a niqab.</i>

1200
01:10:12,608 --> 01:10:14,542
Certainly cuts back on the Botox bill.

1201
01:10:16,478 --> 01:10:21,711
"Women are required to dress in a way
that does not attract sexual attention."

1202
01:10:23,652 --> 01:10:25,381
Samantha, you gotta...

1203
01:10:25,554 --> 01:10:28,489
We're at the hotel. It's a free zone.

1204
01:10:28,657 --> 01:10:30,591
Still. Out of respect.

1205
01:10:32,661 --> 01:10:37,064
Well, I gotta say, I am digging the sequin
trim on the Real Housewife of Abu Dhabi.

1206
01:10:37,499 --> 01:10:38,761
What's up with that?

1207
01:10:38,934 --> 01:10:43,564
Younger Muslim women are embracing
old traditions in new and personal ways.

1208
01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:46,665
CARRIE:
Well, I could get into the head wrap...

1209
01:10:46,842 --> 01:10:50,778
...but the veil across the mouth,
it freaks me out.

1210
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,407
It's like they don't want them
to have a voice.

1211
01:10:53,582 --> 01:10:54,913
Yeah, or hormones.

1212
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:58,815
I cannot find one Internet hormone site
that's not blocked.

1213
01:10:58,988 --> 01:11:00,956
At least you know your phone is working.

1214
01:11:01,123 --> 01:11:04,490
I can't get Harry to respond
to any of my texts and it's not like him.

1215
01:11:04,660 --> 01:11:08,926
- But you called him when you arrived, right?
- Yeah, but that was hours ago.

1216
01:11:13,068 --> 01:11:15,502
French fries for the lady with the veil.

1217
01:11:16,138 --> 01:11:18,436
How is she gonna do that?

1218
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:24,007
A lift for every fry.

1219
01:11:24,179 --> 01:11:26,272
That is a major commitment
to fried food.

1220
01:11:27,549 --> 01:11:29,039
What time is it in New York now?

1221
01:11:29,652 --> 01:11:31,643
Okay. Sweetie, you gotta stop.

1222
01:11:31,820 --> 01:11:33,651
- What do you mean?
- You are obsessing...

1223
01:11:33,822 --> 01:11:37,622
...about something
that is happening 6700 miles away...

1224
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:41,729
...and you're missing the woman with
the veil eating french fries at the next table.

1225
01:11:42,064 --> 01:11:44,555
Consider this an interfriendtion.

1226
01:11:44,733 --> 01:11:48,362
You have to stop obsessing
about the nanny.

1227
01:11:48,537 --> 01:11:50,505
Well, it is all Samantha's fault.

1228
01:11:50,673 --> 01:11:54,165
I was perfectly happy and then she went
and opened her big mouth.

1229
01:11:54,343 --> 01:11:56,106
<i>Maybe we should get her a niqab.</i>

1230
01:11:56,278 --> 01:11:58,712
Look, I warn you right now,
don't come down on me.

1231
01:11:58,881 --> 01:12:00,644
With the jet lag
and the no hormones...

1232
01:12:00,816 --> 01:12:03,944
...who knows what kind
of mood swings I'm capable of.

1233
01:12:06,488 --> 01:12:08,979
I like the necklace.

1234
01:12:09,591 --> 01:12:10,990
Hi.

1235
01:12:13,691 --> 01:12:16,785
[SNORING]

1236
01:13:03,207 --> 01:13:04,299
- Miss?
- Ah!

1237
01:13:04,475 --> 01:13:06,238
Oh, God.

1238
01:13:07,711 --> 01:13:09,542
I'm so very sorry.

1239
01:13:09,947 --> 01:13:13,542
It's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't...

1240
01:13:14,251 --> 01:13:16,151
I didn't expect you to still be here.

1241
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:17,810
You did not dismiss me.

1242
01:13:17,988 --> 01:13:21,219
Oh. I was supposed to do that?

1243
01:13:22,059 --> 01:13:23,686
Oh.

1244
01:13:23,861 --> 01:13:25,488
I'm sorry, Gaurau, I didn't know.

1245
01:13:25,663 --> 01:13:28,564
It is my pleasure. What can I do for you?

1246
01:13:28,732 --> 01:13:32,133
Nothing, I was just gonna warm
some milk up, but you go, go home.

1247
01:13:32,303 --> 01:13:34,396
No, no, allow me, please. I insist.

1248
01:13:36,807 --> 01:13:37,899
I will bring it to you.

1249
01:13:38,075 --> 01:13:40,043
Oh, you don't have to. I'll wait.

1250
01:13:50,187 --> 01:13:53,918
If you will permit me,
might I suggest a touch of cinnamon?

1251
01:13:54,825 --> 01:13:56,588
It is a secret learned from my wife.

1252
01:13:58,229 --> 01:14:02,256
Well, please apologize to your wife
for my keeping you here all night.

1253
01:14:02,433 --> 01:14:04,560
It is fine. She is in India.

1254
01:14:04,735 --> 01:14:06,430
CARRIE:
Oh.

1255
01:14:06,604 --> 01:14:08,003
I will see her in one month.

1256
01:14:08,172 --> 01:14:11,733
I'm afraid if I apologize then,
it will hardly make sense.

1257
01:14:14,478 --> 01:14:17,038
So you work here
and you travel back and forth?

1258
01:14:17,214 --> 01:14:22,652
Yes. Every three months, when I have a
break in work and can afford the plane fare.

1259
01:14:25,723 --> 01:14:26,883
Isn't that hard?

1260
01:14:28,092 --> 01:14:29,218
What, miss?

1261
01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:33,656
Just, you know, being married
and spending all that time apart.

1262
01:14:36,267 --> 01:14:38,201
Time does not matter.

1263
01:14:38,369 --> 01:14:41,930
When we see each other, each time...

1264
01:14:42,573 --> 01:14:43,665
...it is very wonderful.

1265
01:14:45,976 --> 01:14:48,103
I'm a lucky man.

1266
01:14:53,784 --> 01:14:57,811
Okay, now I'm gonna try
one of these little date confections.

1267
01:15:05,629 --> 01:15:07,654
I think my butler's gay.

1268
01:15:07,831 --> 01:15:10,527
- First, he's way too cute.
- That's genetics.

1269
01:15:10,701 --> 01:15:13,636
I asked about his dating life
and he said it was private.

1270
01:15:13,804 --> 01:15:15,169
That's appropriate.

1271
01:15:15,339 --> 01:15:18,274
When I asked how to pronounce
his name he said:

1272
01:15:18,442 --> 01:15:20,774
"Abdul. Like Paula."

1273
01:15:20,944 --> 01:15:24,004
- And that's gay.
- Yeah.

1274
01:15:24,181 --> 01:15:26,115
- Morning.
MIRANDA: Morning.

1275
01:15:26,283 --> 01:15:27,944
- Morning.
- How'd you sleep?

1276
01:15:28,719 --> 01:15:29,947
All right.

1277
01:15:31,689 --> 01:15:33,816
- Samantha, what are you eating?
- Mm. Hummus.

1278
01:15:34,425 --> 01:15:38,486
I read online that chickpeas are high
in natural estrogen.

1279
01:15:38,662 --> 01:15:41,495
So are yams.
Paula Abdul's getting me some later.

1280
01:15:42,366 --> 01:15:44,231
Is she here too?

1281
01:15:45,402 --> 01:15:49,133
Good morning, miss.
What can we bring you for breakfast?

1282
01:15:49,673 --> 01:15:51,163
Just some fruit, please.

1283
01:15:51,342 --> 01:15:53,071
Thank you.

1284
01:15:54,244 --> 01:15:56,212
He is so nice. What's his name again?

1285
01:15:56,380 --> 01:15:57,745
Gaurau.

1286
01:15:57,915 --> 01:16:01,476
He's from India.
His wife still lives there.

1287
01:16:01,652 --> 01:16:05,019
They only see each other once
every three months when they can afford it.

1288
01:16:05,189 --> 01:16:09,319
And I asked him if that was hard
for them and he said:

1289
01:16:09,493 --> 01:16:11,120
"Time doesn't matter."

1290
01:16:11,295 --> 01:16:15,163
That each time they see each other
it's wonderful.

1291
01:16:15,999 --> 01:16:18,832
So, see, there are all kinds
of marriages.

1292
01:16:27,111 --> 01:16:29,944
<i>Who's up for a morning trip
to the souk in Old Abu Dhabi?</i>

1293
01:16:30,114 --> 01:16:31,138
<i>What's a souk?</i>

1294
01:16:31,315 --> 01:16:36,514
<i>It's a market where you can buy gold,
spices, textiles and souk things.</i>

1295
01:16:36,687 --> 01:16:39,212
<i>I'm in. One sip then souk.</i>

1296
01:16:42,593 --> 01:16:44,117
Wow.

1297
01:16:44,294 --> 01:16:48,025
- Oh, it's so beautiful.
- We'll be back in time for lunch.

1298
01:16:48,732 --> 01:16:51,098
- Thank you, Gaurau.
MIRANDA: Thank you, Resir.

1299
01:16:51,268 --> 01:16:53,031
Got it.

1300
01:16:59,510 --> 01:17:01,808
You must not have
a forbidden experience.

1301
01:17:02,179 --> 01:17:03,544
Oh, okay.

1302
01:17:03,714 --> 01:17:06,114
Men may approach you
with black-market wristwatches.

1303
01:17:06,283 --> 01:17:10,379
If you engage them, they'll move you to a
room and try to sell you items. It is illegal.

1304
01:17:10,554 --> 01:17:14,513
Other than that, you'll not have to worry.
People here are very honest.

1305
01:17:15,159 --> 01:17:16,751
Driver.

1306
01:17:53,397 --> 01:17:55,194
[MIRANDA SPEAKS IN ARABIC]

1307
01:17:58,469 --> 01:18:01,029
CARRIE: Mm. Smells so good.
- Yeah.

1308
01:18:06,743 --> 01:18:07,767
Ladies.

1309
01:18:07,945 --> 01:18:11,108
- Forbidden experience coming at you.
- Ladies. Ladies.

1310
01:18:11,281 --> 01:18:12,646
- No, no.
- Ladies.

1311
01:18:13,984 --> 01:18:15,451
No.

1312
01:18:17,454 --> 01:18:18,648
Oh.

1313
01:18:18,822 --> 01:18:21,052
<i>And from the forbidden to the necessary.</i>

1314
01:18:21,425 --> 01:18:22,653
I'll be going there.

1315
01:18:22,826 --> 01:18:26,853
Of course you will. I'm going back
for more spices. I don't think I got enough.

1316
01:18:27,030 --> 01:18:28,691
Okay.

1317
01:18:35,839 --> 01:18:38,000
These are very pretty.

1318
01:18:38,175 --> 01:18:39,199
Do you speak English?

1319
01:18:39,376 --> 01:18:41,173
Yes.

1320
01:18:45,883 --> 01:18:49,182
May I try this? Thank you.

1321
01:18:50,721 --> 01:18:52,586
Let me just get them...

1322
01:18:54,992 --> 01:18:56,391
Oh, thank you.

1323
01:19:00,497 --> 01:19:02,795
So, yes, yes.

1324
01:19:03,333 --> 01:19:04,823
I'll take them.

1325
01:19:05,002 --> 01:19:06,902
Thank you.

1326
01:19:07,437 --> 01:19:09,871
So pretty.

1327
01:19:13,977 --> 01:19:15,069
Just...

1328
01:19:16,013 --> 01:19:17,105
Thank you.

1329
01:19:17,281 --> 01:19:19,749
So, for this, how much?

1330
01:19:19,917 --> 01:19:21,714
One hundred dirham.

1331
01:19:24,321 --> 01:19:26,186
- Twenty dollars?
- Yes.

1332
01:19:27,190 --> 01:19:29,681
- For shoes?
- Yes.

1333
01:19:30,928 --> 01:19:32,987
Okay, thank you.

1334
01:19:34,731 --> 01:19:37,996
That's 100. Thank you.

1335
01:19:38,835 --> 01:19:41,668
Oh, you know what,
I'll just put the shoes in my purse.

1336
01:19:41,838 --> 01:19:44,671
Okay. I'm just gonna make room.

1337
01:19:45,375 --> 01:19:48,401
[MUEZZIN SINGING CALL TO PRAYER
OVER SPEAKERS]

1338
01:19:53,550 --> 01:19:55,279
Is that the call to prayer?

1339
01:19:55,452 --> 01:19:57,386
Yes.

1340
01:20:13,437 --> 01:20:17,635
<i>And there, in the middle of Old Abu Dhabi,
was an old love.</i>

1341
01:20:17,808 --> 01:20:19,799
<i>- The guy hid them back there...
- Aidan.</i>

1342
01:20:49,206 --> 01:20:51,367
This is the best mirage that I've ever had.

1343
01:20:52,709 --> 01:20:56,201
And I did some peyote once in Arizona
that blew my head off.

1344
01:20:57,214 --> 01:20:59,079
Come here, you.

1345
01:21:01,284 --> 01:21:02,945
Is this allowed here?

1346
01:21:04,354 --> 01:21:05,480
What the...?

1347
01:21:05,656 --> 01:21:08,887
Abu Dhabi? What? You? Why?

1348
01:21:09,059 --> 01:21:14,691
Well, I heard
about this amazing deal on shoes.

1349
01:21:15,399 --> 01:21:18,129
No, I'm here with the girls.

1350
01:21:18,301 --> 01:21:21,964
Yeah, Samantha worked us all in
on her free PR trip.

1351
01:21:22,139 --> 01:21:24,334
And you? What...?

1352
01:21:24,508 --> 01:21:28,604
I'm on the third leg of a buying trip.
Bali, India, here.

1353
01:21:28,779 --> 01:21:31,043
Yeah, I import rugs to sell
with the furniture...

1354
01:21:31,214 --> 01:21:34,240
...and I'm talking like I don't know you.
Come here again.

1355
01:21:34,418 --> 01:21:36,318
Holy moly.

1356
01:21:43,393 --> 01:21:47,830
You know,
Miranda's here with me, so, I don't...

1357
01:21:47,998 --> 01:21:51,729
Shall we grab a kebab or a whatever?

1358
01:21:52,202 --> 01:21:56,605
Shoot. I have to eat lunch
with my business partners.

1359
01:21:57,374 --> 01:22:02,778
And they don't cotton to the ladies
at the lunches.

1360
01:22:02,946 --> 01:22:05,414
<i>I knew I should've packed my burqa.</i>

1361
01:22:06,249 --> 01:22:09,309
We're going to a different city after lunch.
I'll be back tomorrow.

1362
01:22:09,486 --> 01:22:11,784
Can I take you out to dinner,
just you and me?

1363
01:22:11,955 --> 01:22:13,786
Oh. Uh...

1364
01:22:13,957 --> 01:22:16,425
Well, I don't really know
what the girls have planned.

1365
01:22:16,593 --> 01:22:18,891
You know,
Miranda's got us scheduled pretty...

1366
01:22:19,062 --> 01:22:22,190
It's okay. Look, if you have the time...

1367
01:22:22,532 --> 01:22:26,832
<i>...the locals say that the restaurant at
my hotel has the best muhammara in town.</i>

1368
01:22:27,003 --> 01:22:28,868
That's my international cell.

1369
01:22:29,039 --> 01:22:31,371
International cell.

1370
01:22:31,808 --> 01:22:34,072
Look at you, all grown-up.

1371
01:22:35,479 --> 01:22:37,242
I should get going.

1372
01:22:37,414 --> 01:22:39,439
They consider it rude
to keep people waiting here.

1373
01:22:39,616 --> 01:22:41,982
[CARRIE LAUGHS]

1374
01:22:43,754 --> 01:22:45,483
Bye.

1375
01:22:48,125 --> 01:22:51,288
They also consider it rude
not to call an old boyfriend for dinner.

1376
01:22:56,466 --> 01:22:58,331
Carrie!

1377
01:22:58,902 --> 01:23:00,597
How weird is this?

1378
01:23:03,206 --> 01:23:05,265
SAMANTHA:
How did he look?

1379
01:23:05,742 --> 01:23:08,142
Like no time had gone by.

1380
01:23:08,912 --> 01:23:11,346
- Did you tell him you and Big got married?
CARRIE: Yes.

1381
01:23:11,515 --> 01:23:13,483
Those were the first words
out of my mouth.

1382
01:23:13,650 --> 01:23:16,448
"Hey, we're here in Abu Dhabi
and I married that man you hated."

1383
01:23:16,620 --> 01:23:17,917
[LAUGHING]

1384
01:23:18,088 --> 01:23:20,454
- Is he still married?
- I have no idea.

1385
01:23:20,624 --> 01:23:22,216
Was he wearing a wedding ring?

1386
01:23:22,392 --> 01:23:23,791
I believe he was.

1387
01:23:24,861 --> 01:23:28,194
- Are you gonna have dinner with him?
- We're here to spend time together.

1388
01:23:28,365 --> 01:23:30,765
- Just the four of us.
CHARLOTTE: Right.

1389
01:23:32,769 --> 01:23:35,533
- Um, legs.
- Miranda, I'm at the pool.

1390
01:23:35,705 --> 01:23:38,640
- What am I supposed to wear?
- How about a burkini?

1391
01:23:40,811 --> 01:23:42,779
Yeah, they have them at the gift shop.

1392
01:23:42,946 --> 01:23:44,436
SAMANTHA:
Forget about them.

1393
01:23:45,115 --> 01:23:46,776
Look.

1394
01:23:46,950 --> 01:23:50,784
<i>Arriving at the pool,
direct from a sweaty practice match:</i>

1395
01:23:50,954 --> 01:23:52,615
<i>The Australian rugby team.</i>

1396
01:23:54,491 --> 01:23:56,356
Who ordered the Aussie sausage?

1397
01:24:11,408 --> 01:24:12,466
This is a disaster.

1398
01:24:13,243 --> 01:24:15,734
I have a whole pool of testosterone
from down under...

1399
01:24:15,912 --> 01:24:18,073
...and I'm not feeling anything
down under.

1400
01:24:18,882 --> 01:24:22,648
It's official.
The estrogen has left the building.

1401
01:24:22,819 --> 01:24:25,310
Okay, I am pulling an interfriendtion.

1402
01:24:25,488 --> 01:24:27,388
If I can't talk anymore about Harry...

1403
01:24:27,557 --> 01:24:29,855
...then she can't talk anymore
about hormones.

1404
01:24:30,794 --> 01:24:33,888
I can't eat any more yams.

1405
01:24:34,231 --> 01:24:35,255
Couldn't hurt.

1406
01:24:35,432 --> 01:24:39,095
Ladies, we came here
to have fun together.

1407
01:24:39,269 --> 01:24:41,760
And I, being the type-A
control freak that I am...

1408
01:24:41,938 --> 01:24:46,534
...have planned a full day and night
of big Abu Dhabi fun.

1409
01:24:46,710 --> 01:24:48,905
I am gonna turn this interfriendtion...

1410
01:24:49,079 --> 01:24:52,048
...into an interfuntion.

1411
01:24:52,215 --> 01:24:53,546
[YELLS]

1412
01:24:53,717 --> 01:24:55,275
[YELLING]

1413
01:24:58,221 --> 01:24:59,245
Still nothing.

1414
01:25:19,276 --> 01:25:21,574
[YELLING]

1415
01:25:44,234 --> 01:25:45,496
Thank you.

1416
01:25:45,669 --> 01:25:47,967
Thank you, Gaurau.

1417
01:25:52,542 --> 01:25:55,409
- Oh, my.
- You said we were going to lunch.

1418
01:25:55,578 --> 01:25:58,604
We are. Camels, then lunch. It'll be fun.

1419
01:25:58,982 --> 01:26:00,506
Not to not be fun...

1420
01:26:00,684 --> 01:26:03,744
...but I'm not really dressed
to get on a camel.

1421
01:26:03,920 --> 01:26:04,944
I've got that covered.

1422
01:26:07,891 --> 01:26:09,859
- What?
- Gift of the hotel.

1423
01:26:10,026 --> 01:26:13,291
And don't worry,
I had Abdul pick them out.

1424
01:26:13,463 --> 01:26:15,294
[WOMEN LAUGH]

1425
01:26:15,465 --> 01:26:17,262
Serious?

1426
01:26:18,034 --> 01:26:21,492
- Care to change in the Bedouin tent?
- Bedouin, Bath and Beyond.

1427
01:26:22,205 --> 01:26:23,672
Still nothing.

1428
01:26:23,840 --> 01:26:26,308
CARRIE:
Thank you, Gaurau, yes.

1429
01:26:26,476 --> 01:26:29,343
- This is very exciting suddenly.
CHARLOTTE: Help. Wait, wait. Help.

1430
01:26:29,512 --> 01:26:31,639
Heels. Sand. Hot.

1431
01:27:32,776 --> 01:27:35,006
- I'm having a hot flash.
- You're fine.

1432
01:27:35,178 --> 01:27:37,078
Seriously, they're starting.

1433
01:27:37,247 --> 01:27:39,647
Look, you're on a camel
in the middle of the desert.

1434
01:27:39,816 --> 01:27:41,909
If you're not having a hot flash,
you're dead.

1435
01:27:42,085 --> 01:27:44,451
- What do you think?
- This is fabulous.

1436
01:27:44,621 --> 01:27:45,610
[PHONE CHIMING]

1437
01:27:45,789 --> 01:27:47,450
There's my phone. Oh, my God.
It's my phone.

1438
01:27:47,624 --> 01:27:49,558
Who's her long distance provider?

1439
01:27:50,827 --> 01:27:53,387
Hello, Harry? What have you been doing?

1440
01:27:53,563 --> 01:27:57,090
I woke you up? Harry, wait.
You're going in and out.

1441
01:27:58,101 --> 01:27:59,261
Can you hear me now?

1442
01:27:59,636 --> 01:28:00,762
Harry?

1443
01:28:00,937 --> 01:28:02,234
Miranda, I'm falling!

1444
01:28:03,239 --> 01:28:04,797
Sir, she's falling!

1445
01:28:05,742 --> 01:28:07,471
Are you okay?

1446
01:28:07,644 --> 01:28:08,906
- Thank you.
- It's okay.

1447
01:28:09,079 --> 01:28:10,307
Are you all right?

1448
01:28:10,480 --> 01:28:12,448
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

1449
01:28:14,117 --> 01:28:15,482
Oh.

1450
01:28:15,652 --> 01:28:18,883
Wow, you have an actual
camel camel-toe.

1451
01:28:22,158 --> 01:28:24,126
Oh, it's not that funny.

1452
01:28:24,561 --> 01:28:26,256
She's having a little sand wedge.

1453
01:28:29,265 --> 01:28:30,926
Harry? Hi!

1454
01:28:31,101 --> 01:28:33,467
Harry, are you there?
I just fell off a camel.

1455
01:28:33,636 --> 01:28:34,864
Thank you, sir.

1456
01:28:35,038 --> 01:28:36,903
Did you get my texts?

1457
01:28:38,675 --> 01:28:43,112
<i>It is amazing how much food and clothing
four butlers can fit into four Maybachs.</i>

1458
01:28:43,279 --> 01:28:45,247
- Thanks.
- Enjoy.

1459
01:28:47,016 --> 01:28:48,574
Gorgeous.

1460
01:28:48,751 --> 01:28:51,743
To Fouad and Marzouk and...

1461
01:28:51,921 --> 01:28:53,912
- Hatimi.
- Hatimi.

1462
01:28:54,090 --> 01:28:55,114
- Yes.
- Thank you.

1463
01:29:10,073 --> 01:29:12,541
My apologies, ladies,
for disturbing your fun.

1464
01:29:13,243 --> 01:29:17,179
Gaurau, my friend, if you would do me
the kindness of calling the hotel...

1465
01:29:17,347 --> 01:29:20,544
...telling them I'll be an hour or two late.

1466
01:29:20,717 --> 01:29:22,412
My pleasure, sir.

1467
01:29:22,585 --> 01:29:24,712
What's the sense
in a boring business dinner...

1468
01:29:24,888 --> 01:29:27,152
...when you have sand dunes
and sunset?

1469
01:29:28,458 --> 01:29:29,550
Am I right?

1470
01:29:29,726 --> 01:29:32,251
[RIKARD SPEAKING IN ARABIC]

1471
01:29:54,284 --> 01:29:55,751
You all saw that, right?

1472
01:29:55,919 --> 01:29:57,011
Well, I sure did.

1473
01:29:57,620 --> 01:29:59,019
Who's Lawrence of Arabia?

1474
01:29:59,189 --> 01:30:02,647
He's a Danish architect who stays
at the hotel each time he's in Abu Dhabi.

1475
01:30:02,825 --> 01:30:05,817
- Very nice man.
- Very hot man.

1476
01:30:05,995 --> 01:30:10,432
Well, ladies, I am definitely feeling
something down under.

1477
01:30:11,301 --> 01:30:13,997
- No, don't, don't.
SAMANTHA: And he's staying at our hotel.

1478
01:30:15,538 --> 01:30:17,938
Lawrence of my labia.

1479
01:30:26,216 --> 01:30:27,342
[MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

1480
01:30:27,517 --> 01:30:31,112
<i>[SINGING]
It feels like the first time</i>

1481
01:30:31,287 --> 01:30:35,656
<i>It feels like the very first time</i>

1482
01:30:35,825 --> 01:30:40,023
<i>It feels like the first time</i>

1483
01:30:40,196 --> 01:30:43,723
<i>It feels like the very first time</i>

1484
01:30:43,933 --> 01:30:47,630
[MAN SINGING IN ARABIC]

1485
01:30:51,040 --> 01:30:53,600
Karaoke in the U.S., tired.

1486
01:30:53,776 --> 01:30:56,745
Karaoke in the Middle East, fresh.

1487
01:30:57,313 --> 01:31:01,807
Now, why are those women allowed
to show their bellies and chests?

1488
01:31:01,985 --> 01:31:06,217
Well, from my research, there's some
kind of nightclub-belly-dancer loophole.

1489
01:31:06,389 --> 01:31:10,223
Oh, those clever religious men.

1490
01:31:10,393 --> 01:31:13,328
<i>Oh, excuse me. I mean, marhaba.</i>

1491
01:31:13,863 --> 01:31:15,888
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]

1492
01:31:18,334 --> 01:31:21,064
Okay. Could we get another round
of champagne?

1493
01:31:21,237 --> 01:31:22,295
- Okay.
- Okay.

1494
01:31:22,472 --> 01:31:23,837
<i>Shukran very much.</i>

1495
01:31:24,007 --> 01:31:27,067
Another round?
You are fun in Abu Dhabi.

1496
01:31:27,243 --> 01:31:29,507
- I'm fun in New York.
- Not for the last two years.

1497
01:31:29,679 --> 01:31:33,342
Oh, really?
You think I'm fun now? Just wait.

1498
01:31:33,950 --> 01:31:37,681
<i>It feels like the very first time</i>

1499
01:31:38,187 --> 01:31:39,245
Give it up, people.

1500
01:31:39,422 --> 01:31:43,586
Give it up, Abu Dhabi.
He's working hard, hard, hard for you.

1501
01:31:44,460 --> 01:31:47,793
Next we have four girls from America.

1502
01:31:48,931 --> 01:31:51,456
Ladies, you have to come
to the stage now, please, oh.

1503
01:31:51,834 --> 01:31:55,827
- Put your hands together. Let's go.
- It'll be fun. It'll be fun. Come on, come on.

1504
01:31:56,005 --> 01:31:57,666
We are waiting for you, America.

1505
01:31:58,708 --> 01:32:00,903
What song did you pick?
What if I don't know it?

1506
01:32:01,077 --> 01:32:03,944
- Trust me, you know the song.
- Are those ours?

1507
01:32:04,113 --> 01:32:06,547
They're going to sing for us.

1508
01:32:11,621 --> 01:32:12,645
<i>[SINGING]
I am w...</i>

1509
01:32:12,822 --> 01:32:15,552
- No, no, no. Not yet.
- Wait for it.

1510
01:32:16,059 --> 01:32:17,253
Now. Now we come in.

1511
01:32:17,427 --> 01:32:19,657
<i>[SINGING]
I am woman, hear me roar</i>

1512
01:32:19,829 --> 01:32:22,821
<i>In numbers too big to ignore</i>

1513
01:32:22,999 --> 01:32:28,403
<i>And I know too much
To go back and pretend</i>

1514
01:32:28,571 --> 01:32:31,131
<i>'Cause I've heard it all before</i>

1515
01:32:31,307 --> 01:32:34,140
<i>And I've been down there on that floor</i>

1516
01:32:34,310 --> 01:32:39,441
<i>And no one's ever gonna
Keep me down again</i>

1517
01:32:39,615 --> 01:32:43,073
<i>No
Yes, I am wise</i>

1518
01:32:43,252 --> 01:32:46,187
<i>But it's wisdom born of pain</i>

1519
01:32:46,356 --> 01:32:48,551
<i>Yes, I paid the price</i>

1520
01:32:48,725 --> 01:32:51,023
<i>But look how much I've gained</i>

1521
01:32:51,194 --> 01:32:56,496
<i>If I have to
I can do anything</i>

1522
01:32:56,666 --> 01:32:59,157
<i>I am strong
Strong</i>

1523
01:32:59,335 --> 01:33:02,862
<i>I am invincible
Invincible</i>

1524
01:33:03,039 --> 01:33:07,066
<i>I am woman</i>

1525
01:33:07,777 --> 01:33:10,337
- Pretty good, huh?
- Yeah.

1526
01:33:11,013 --> 01:33:13,140
Everyone!

1527
01:33:14,417 --> 01:33:16,282
<i>Standing toe to toe</i>

1528
01:33:16,452 --> 01:33:22,084
<i>As I spread my loving arms
Across the land</i>

1529
01:33:22,258 --> 01:33:25,386
<i>I am still an embryo</i>

1530
01:33:25,561 --> 01:33:27,859
<i>With a long, long way to go</i>

1531
01:33:28,030 --> 01:33:33,366
<i>Until I make my brother understand</i>

1532
01:33:33,536 --> 01:33:36,164
<i>Oh, yes
I am wise</i>

1533
01:33:36,339 --> 01:33:38,933
<i>But it's wisdom born of pain</i>

1534
01:33:39,108 --> 01:33:41,736
<i>Yes, I've paid the price</i>

1535
01:33:41,911 --> 01:33:44,971
<i>But look how much I've gained</i>

1536
01:33:45,148 --> 01:33:50,211
<i>If I have to
I can do anything</i>

1537
01:33:50,386 --> 01:33:52,946
<i>I am strong
Strong</i>

1538
01:33:53,122 --> 01:33:55,955
<i>I am invincible
Invincible</i>

1539
01:33:56,125 --> 01:33:58,320
<i>I am strong
Strong</i>

1540
01:33:58,494 --> 01:34:01,622
<i>I am invincible
Invincible</i>

1541
01:34:01,798 --> 01:34:07,134
<i>I am woman</i>

1542
01:34:08,571 --> 01:34:10,801
[CHEERING]

1543
01:34:13,276 --> 01:34:16,143
MAN: Those are the American women.
I heard them roar.

1544
01:34:16,312 --> 01:34:17,973
Oh, my goodness.

1545
01:34:19,816 --> 01:34:24,412
<i>I am a woman</i>

1546
01:34:25,521 --> 01:34:29,514
<i>I got that table</i>

1547
01:34:33,963 --> 01:34:37,262
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

1548
01:34:42,705 --> 01:34:46,334
- That was quite a performance.
- Oh, you haven't seen anything yet.

1549
01:34:47,543 --> 01:34:49,272
RIKARD: Hello again.
- Hi.

1550
01:34:49,445 --> 01:34:52,937
Allow me to properly introduce myself.
My name is Rikard Spirt.

1551
01:34:53,115 --> 01:34:55,276
Rikard. Isn't that "Richard"?

1552
01:34:55,451 --> 01:34:58,978
- In Danish, yes.
- So your name is Dick Spirt?

1553
01:35:01,290 --> 01:35:03,554
Could you be any more American?

1554
01:35:03,726 --> 01:35:05,023
I don't think so.

1555
01:35:08,030 --> 01:35:09,691
Care to join me for a drink?

1556
01:35:09,866 --> 01:35:13,495
Oh, I can't tonight. It's girls' night out.

1557
01:35:13,669 --> 01:35:15,864
But I do have tomorrow free...

1558
01:35:16,038 --> 01:35:18,029
...all day and night.

1559
01:35:18,207 --> 01:35:21,540
Perhaps you'd be open for a late dinner.

1560
01:35:23,880 --> 01:35:25,074
I'd be open.

1561
01:35:27,116 --> 01:35:28,413
RIKARD:
You're very funny...

1562
01:35:29,151 --> 01:35:30,584
...Samantha.

1563
01:35:30,753 --> 01:35:33,415
- Ladies.
- Good night.

1564
01:35:35,491 --> 01:35:36,822
Wow.

1565
01:35:37,159 --> 01:35:38,717
I gotta hand it to you, Samantha.

1566
01:35:38,895 --> 01:35:42,456
Not blowing us off for a guy
in your condition...

1567
01:35:42,632 --> 01:35:44,065
...very classy.

1568
01:35:44,233 --> 01:35:46,793
Well, we made a deal ages ago.

1569
01:35:46,969 --> 01:35:49,802
Men, babies, doesn't matter.

1570
01:35:49,972 --> 01:35:51,234
We're soul mates.

1571
01:35:53,476 --> 01:35:57,469
<i>It was the perfect end to a perfect day.</i>

1572
01:36:05,454 --> 01:36:07,388
- Good morning.
- Good morning, miss.

1573
01:36:07,557 --> 01:36:10,549
- Where is everyone?
- Oh, they're having breakfast on the terrace.

1574
01:36:15,932 --> 01:36:17,627
Is this Samantha's? May I?

1575
01:36:17,800 --> 01:36:19,028
As you wish.

1576
01:36:19,201 --> 01:36:20,429
Thanks.

1577
01:36:32,081 --> 01:36:37,075
"And on and on, one by one, she
lampoons the traditional wedding vows."

1578
01:36:37,253 --> 01:36:38,618
Yeah. It's a satire.

1579
01:36:38,788 --> 01:36:39,948
And it's hilarious.

1580
01:36:40,790 --> 01:36:46,490
"Until the talented Bradshaw is better able
to grasp the complexities of married life...

1581
01:36:47,129 --> 01:36:49,063
...she would be better advised...

1582
01:36:49,231 --> 01:36:52,428
...to explore the vow of silence."

1583
01:36:52,602 --> 01:36:53,591
Ugh!

1584
01:36:53,769 --> 01:36:56,067
And he would be better advised
to go fuck himself.

1585
01:36:56,238 --> 01:36:57,796
God.

1586
01:36:57,974 --> 01:37:00,033
<i>The New Yorker.</i>

1587
01:37:00,209 --> 01:37:04,805
I have been carrying it around
in my purse for 20 years.

1588
01:37:05,514 --> 01:37:08,312
And to make it worse,
they turned me into a cartoon...

1589
01:37:08,484 --> 01:37:10,645
...and slapped tape across my mouth.

1590
01:37:10,820 --> 01:37:11,946
SAMANTHA:
Take it as a compliment.

1591
01:37:12,121 --> 01:37:15,522
You have a strong female voice
and this guy is intimidated.

1592
01:37:16,792 --> 01:37:20,819
You know, I'm just realizing, it wasn't
my tone of voice that my boss didn't like.

1593
01:37:20,997 --> 01:37:22,931
It was the fact that I had a voice.

1594
01:37:23,466 --> 01:37:26,401
Men in the U.S. Pretend they're comfortable
with strong women...

1595
01:37:26,569 --> 01:37:30,369
...but really, a lot of them would prefer us
eating french fries behind our veils.

1596
01:37:30,539 --> 01:37:32,564
- Word.
- I should've just stuck to writing...

1597
01:37:32,742 --> 01:37:35,040
...about what I know: Being single.

1598
01:37:35,211 --> 01:37:36,542
But you're not.

1599
01:37:36,712 --> 01:37:38,703
No, I'm married,
and Big wants two days off.

1600
01:37:38,881 --> 01:37:40,712
- I thought you both wanted...
- Charlotte.

1601
01:37:41,917 --> 01:37:45,148
SAMANTHA: Well, there'll be other reviews.
Fabulous reviews.

1602
01:37:45,554 --> 01:37:48,352
No. But right now,
I need you to go shopping.

1603
01:37:48,824 --> 01:37:50,883
We have to find me something
for my date.

1604
01:37:51,060 --> 01:37:54,518
Something sexy that doesn't show
my tits, arms or belly.

1605
01:37:54,697 --> 01:37:55,721
[MIRANDA CHUCKLES]

1606
01:37:55,898 --> 01:37:58,128
- I think I'm gonna take a walk.
- What about our spa day?

1607
01:37:58,300 --> 01:38:01,235
I'm not in the mood. Not in the mood.
But you guys go, have fun.

1608
01:38:01,404 --> 01:38:03,167
Okay, I'll see you later.

1609
01:38:04,640 --> 01:38:06,574
- You sure?
- Yeah.

1610
01:38:07,176 --> 01:38:10,145
- We have dinner reservations at 8.
- Yeah.

1611
01:38:14,650 --> 01:38:16,083
Miss?

1612
01:38:16,252 --> 01:38:18,186
I'm going out.

1613
01:38:20,856 --> 01:38:23,552
I don't know how she got ahold of it.

1614
01:38:23,926 --> 01:38:25,826
No more yams.

1615
01:38:38,774 --> 01:38:40,708
GAURAU:
Is there anything you'd like to do, miss?

1616
01:38:40,876 --> 01:38:42,844
CARRIE:
No, thank you.

1617
01:38:45,448 --> 01:38:48,110
I think I'm gonna walk ahead, by myself.

1618
01:38:54,256 --> 01:38:57,453
<i>I walked along the Abu Dhabi beach.</i>

1619
01:38:58,227 --> 01:39:01,958
<i>I had never felt so far away from home.</i>

1620
01:39:02,765 --> 01:39:05,632
<i>Or from myself.</i>

1621
01:39:43,839 --> 01:39:45,238
- Hi.
- Hi.

1622
01:39:45,407 --> 01:39:47,466
We missed you at the spa.
How was your day?

1623
01:39:47,643 --> 01:39:50,111
- It was good.
- Wow, you look great.

1624
01:39:50,813 --> 01:39:52,576
I'm meeting Aidan for dinner.

1625
01:39:53,048 --> 01:39:56,381
Oh, okay.
We'll change our reservation to 5, then.

1626
01:39:56,552 --> 01:39:59,180
No, we're okay with four.
Samantha's got that late date.

1627
01:39:59,355 --> 01:40:02,290
Not necessary,
because we're having dinner at his hotel.

1628
01:40:02,925 --> 01:40:04,017
At his hotel.

1629
01:40:04,193 --> 01:40:06,821
Yeah. There's a great Middle Eastern
place there.

1630
01:40:06,996 --> 01:40:10,762
It has the best, I don't know, something.

1631
01:40:11,233 --> 01:40:14,930
- Why are you having dinner with him?
- How can I not have dinner with him?

1632
01:40:15,104 --> 01:40:18,267
We bump into each other
halfway around the world?

1633
01:40:18,440 --> 01:40:21,273
- I mean, it means something.
- It doesn't mean anything.

1634
01:40:22,545 --> 01:40:23,807
Are you serious?

1635
01:40:23,979 --> 01:40:28,439
You have been saying that everything
means something for the last 20 years.

1636
01:40:28,617 --> 01:40:32,951
<i>But seeing Aidan at a spice souk
in the Middle East means nothing.</i>

1637
01:40:34,790 --> 01:40:36,724
I think you're playing with fire.

1638
01:40:36,892 --> 01:40:41,158
Oh, my God. Now I'm playing with fire?
All right, you've gone crazy.

1639
01:40:41,330 --> 01:40:44,561
Seriously, you're crazy in Abu Dhabi.

1640
01:40:44,733 --> 01:40:48,897
Just because you're worried about
your marriage, everyone's gonna cheat.

1641
01:40:49,071 --> 01:40:50,402
Have a good time at dinner.

1642
01:40:54,076 --> 01:40:55,566
You okay?

1643
01:40:55,744 --> 01:40:59,202
Yeah. I'm just really, really tired.
I'm gonna take a nap.

1644
01:40:59,381 --> 01:41:01,178
Take a nice, long nap.

1645
01:41:01,350 --> 01:41:02,977
And then I'll buy you a drink.

1646
01:41:03,919 --> 01:41:05,147
How's 9 sound?

1647
01:41:05,321 --> 01:41:06,811
- Okay.
- Okay.

1648
01:41:23,639 --> 01:41:25,300
Hi.

1649
01:41:27,042 --> 01:41:28,600
Hi.

1650
01:41:32,982 --> 01:41:34,006
Miss Hobbes.

1651
01:41:34,183 --> 01:41:37,846
I thought,
"Why go to a bar when we have a bar?"

1652
01:41:38,721 --> 01:41:40,416
Thank you.

1653
01:41:41,757 --> 01:41:43,520
Thank you, Resir. You can go.

1654
01:41:45,194 --> 01:41:46,422
How was your nap?

1655
01:41:46,595 --> 01:41:47,687
I slept hard.

1656
01:41:47,863 --> 01:41:51,230
You needed it.
Being a mother kicks your ass.

1657
01:41:51,400 --> 01:41:54,563
Yes, but the benefits make it worth it.

1658
01:41:58,374 --> 01:41:59,966
Okay.

1659
01:42:01,710 --> 01:42:05,806
- We're 6700 miles away from everyone.
- Mm-hm.

1660
01:42:05,981 --> 01:42:09,280
- You can say it to me. I'm a mother too.
- Say what?

1661
01:42:09,451 --> 01:42:13,649
All the things you're thinking, but you
won't allow yourself to say out loud.

1662
01:42:14,156 --> 01:42:16,249
Okay. I'll go first.

1663
01:42:18,894 --> 01:42:21,362
As much as I love Brady...

1664
01:42:21,530 --> 01:42:25,125
...and I do love him more than words...

1665
01:42:25,935 --> 01:42:29,496
...being a mother is not enough.

1666
01:42:30,973 --> 01:42:32,235
I miss my job.

1667
01:42:36,211 --> 01:42:40,238
You're not gonna leave me hanging out
feeling like the worst mother, are you?

1668
01:42:40,416 --> 01:42:42,111
Okay.

1669
01:42:45,487 --> 01:42:47,045
Well...

1670
01:42:48,791 --> 01:42:51,555
- I love my girls.
- I know that.

1671
01:42:51,727 --> 01:42:53,160
But...

1672
01:42:54,129 --> 01:42:57,690
...I have enjoyed not having them around.

1673
01:42:58,033 --> 01:43:00,524
- I needed a break.
- Yes, you did.

1674
01:43:01,537 --> 01:43:06,338
Rose cries all day, every day.

1675
01:43:06,508 --> 01:43:08,169
It's driving me crazy.

1676
01:43:08,344 --> 01:43:11,142
I have been watching you.
I don't know how you're doing it.

1677
01:43:11,313 --> 01:43:14,646
Sometimes I go in the other room
and I close the door...

1678
01:43:14,817 --> 01:43:17,115
...and I just let her scream.
Isn't that awful?

1679
01:43:17,286 --> 01:43:19,550
No, that's survival. Take a sip.

1680
01:43:23,826 --> 01:43:25,487
And can I tell you something else?

1681
01:43:25,661 --> 01:43:26,719
I feel guilty.

1682
01:43:26,895 --> 01:43:30,729
I feel so guilty, because all I ever prayed
for was to have a family.

1683
01:43:30,899 --> 01:43:33,493
And now I have these two beautiful girls.

1684
01:43:33,669 --> 01:43:34,829
And?

1685
01:43:35,004 --> 01:43:38,804
- They're driving me crazy.
- Take a sip.

1686
01:43:41,877 --> 01:43:43,674
And I feel like I'm failing.

1687
01:43:43,846 --> 01:43:46,872
I just feel like I'm failing all the time.

1688
01:43:47,049 --> 01:43:48,141
You're not failing.

1689
01:43:48,317 --> 01:43:50,182
Being a mother is hard.

1690
01:43:50,352 --> 01:43:52,411
Oh, my God. It is so hard.

1691
01:43:52,955 --> 01:43:54,980
And I have full-time help.

1692
01:43:55,157 --> 01:43:58,024
How do the women without help do it?

1693
01:43:58,193 --> 01:44:00,923
I have no fucking idea.

1694
01:44:01,397 --> 01:44:03,331
- To them.
- To them.

1695
01:44:06,335 --> 01:44:07,700
And when l...

1696
01:44:07,870 --> 01:44:10,236
Oh, no, I can't. I can't. It's awful.

1697
01:44:10,406 --> 01:44:11,498
Sip.

1698
01:44:14,443 --> 01:44:15,967
Go.

1699
01:44:17,112 --> 01:44:19,945
When I heard Samantha say...

1700
01:44:20,115 --> 01:44:23,084
...that Harry was gonna cheat on me
with Erin...

1701
01:44:23,252 --> 01:44:24,776
Yeah.

1702
01:44:24,953 --> 01:44:28,286
My first thought was:

1703
01:44:28,791 --> 01:44:30,782
"I can't lose the nanny."

1704
01:44:31,960 --> 01:44:33,757
[LAUGHING]

1705
01:44:37,599 --> 01:44:40,659
We really should eat something.

1706
01:44:46,075 --> 01:44:49,203
I'm happy for you. For both of you.

1707
01:44:49,912 --> 01:44:51,812
Thank you.

1708
01:44:52,481 --> 01:44:53,607
That means a lot.

1709
01:44:55,617 --> 01:44:58,415
I have a confession to make.

1710
01:44:59,121 --> 01:45:00,611
I already knew you were married.

1711
01:45:01,290 --> 01:45:03,986
You let me go through all that?

1712
01:45:05,060 --> 01:45:08,291
Yeah, my wife showed me something
on the internet.

1713
01:45:08,464 --> 01:45:12,992
You know, she always kind of kept
one eye on you, the one that got away.

1714
01:45:22,311 --> 01:45:23,335
How is Kathy?

1715
01:45:23,779 --> 01:45:27,408
She's great. She's really amazing.

1716
01:45:28,650 --> 01:45:32,108
Her fabric business is through the roof,
even with the three boys.

1717
01:45:32,855 --> 01:45:35,323
- Oh, my God. Three?
- Yeah.

1718
01:45:35,491 --> 01:45:37,425
Homer, Wyatt and Tate.

1719
01:45:37,793 --> 01:45:39,454
Sounds like a country-music band.

1720
01:45:39,628 --> 01:45:41,619
Here's hoping.

1721
01:45:46,835 --> 01:45:48,666
Tate.

1722
01:45:52,174 --> 01:45:54,005
Wow. Aidan, they're amazing.

1723
01:45:54,176 --> 01:45:56,406
Yeah, they're good boys.

1724
01:45:56,578 --> 01:45:58,546
We're really lucky.

1725
01:46:01,416 --> 01:46:03,145
What about you?

1726
01:46:03,318 --> 01:46:04,478
Not in the cards?

1727
01:46:04,653 --> 01:46:06,245
I don't know.

1728
01:46:06,421 --> 01:46:10,289
We've talked about it a lot
and both love kids, but...

1729
01:46:13,061 --> 01:46:14,824
...that's not who we are.

1730
01:46:14,997 --> 01:46:18,455
Yeah, doesn't surprise me.
You're anything but traditional.

1731
01:46:18,634 --> 01:46:21,125
I learned that when I tried
to get you to wear a ring.

1732
01:46:21,303 --> 01:46:23,669
Exactly. And see? Still:

1733
01:46:25,174 --> 01:46:27,074
No diamond.

1734
01:46:27,743 --> 01:46:29,540
- And I'm married.
- Man...

1735
01:46:29,711 --> 01:46:32,737
...that was my big mistake.
Trying to get a rock on you.

1736
01:46:36,051 --> 01:46:37,518
You're not like other women.

1737
01:46:39,888 --> 01:46:42,652
Man, are you not.

1738
01:46:47,462 --> 01:46:49,692
Fuck, you look good.

1739
01:46:50,465 --> 01:46:54,333
You look hot. I'm sorry, but you do.

1740
01:46:59,341 --> 01:47:01,741
<i>Did you enjoy the muhammara?</i>

1741
01:47:03,512 --> 01:47:06,106
<i>That is the best muhammara
I've ever had.</i>

1742
01:47:08,150 --> 01:47:10,175
AIDAN:
There's seven arches.

1743
01:47:10,352 --> 01:47:14,254
One to represent each
of the different Arab Emirates.

1744
01:47:14,423 --> 01:47:18,382
I memorize a different state
every time I come. I'm up to four now.

1745
01:47:18,760 --> 01:47:20,921
I got Abu Dhabi, Ajman...

1746
01:47:21,096 --> 01:47:24,532
...Dubai and, um, hold on...

1747
01:47:41,049 --> 01:47:42,073
I'm sorry.

1748
01:47:42,351 --> 01:47:44,114
No, I'm sorry.

1749
01:47:44,286 --> 01:47:47,221
- Oh, fuck.
- Yeah, I should go.

1750
01:47:47,389 --> 01:47:48,788
I'm going. Bye.

1751
01:47:52,894 --> 01:47:53,918
Is this the way?

1752
01:48:10,212 --> 01:48:12,476
- How was your dinner, miss?
- Yeah.

1753
01:48:15,083 --> 01:48:17,017
- I kissed Aidan.
- I knew it.

1754
01:48:17,185 --> 01:48:18,914
I know you knew it.

1755
01:48:19,087 --> 01:48:20,452
I played with fire.

1756
01:48:20,889 --> 01:48:24,484
I'm so mad at myself.
Is Samantha still here? I need everybody.

1757
01:48:24,660 --> 01:48:26,924
She's getting ready for her date.

1758
01:48:31,266 --> 01:48:32,460
Samantha!

1759
01:48:33,302 --> 01:48:35,031
In here.

1760
01:48:36,805 --> 01:48:40,070
I kissed Aidan.
I'm freaking out. I need to talk.

1761
01:48:40,242 --> 01:48:41,709
I'm coming right out.

1762
01:48:41,877 --> 01:48:45,142
Paula, I need a towel.

1763
01:48:48,483 --> 01:48:50,974
One minute, he was naming
the Arab Emirates...

1764
01:48:51,153 --> 01:48:53,849
...and then, all of a sudden, we kissed.

1765
01:48:54,022 --> 01:48:58,118
- Did he kiss you? Or did you kiss him?
- No, both. Both equally guilty.

1766
01:49:00,929 --> 01:49:04,626
- Yeah, I wanna call Big and tell him.
- Let's just calm down for a second.

1767
01:49:04,800 --> 01:49:08,566
No, really. I don't want the secret.
The secret to me makes it much worse.

1768
01:49:08,737 --> 01:49:12,537
So the sooner I tell him, the quicker,
the less damage it will do.

1769
01:49:12,708 --> 01:49:15,836
I mean, we're eight hours ahead
of New York. This is the future.

1770
01:49:16,011 --> 01:49:18,479
It hasn't really even happened there yet.

1771
01:49:20,816 --> 01:49:23,148
Well, now I'm crazy in Abu Dhabi.

1772
01:49:23,318 --> 01:49:26,014
So, what do you think? Should I call him?

1773
01:49:26,188 --> 01:49:27,815
CHARLOTTE:
I don't know.

1774
01:49:27,989 --> 01:49:30,082
I don't know.

1775
01:49:30,492 --> 01:49:32,858
I don't know.

1776
01:49:33,795 --> 01:49:35,422
I'm a little drunk.

1777
01:49:35,597 --> 01:49:39,226
When Steve told me he cheated on me,
I was devastated.

1778
01:49:39,401 --> 01:49:42,336
But now that I know
it was only that one time...

1779
01:49:42,504 --> 01:49:45,302
- Yeah?
- Was the pain worth it?

1780
01:49:45,474 --> 01:49:48,500
- I don't know.
- Yeah. I don't know.

1781
01:49:48,677 --> 01:49:50,406
SAMANTHA:
Let's get something straight here.

1782
01:49:50,579 --> 01:49:52,046
Steve had sex.

1783
01:49:52,381 --> 01:49:53,871
I'm sorry, but he did.

1784
01:49:54,049 --> 01:49:56,711
And this was just a kiss.
A kiss is nothing.

1785
01:49:56,885 --> 01:49:59,115
- A kiss with Aidan.
- It was a kiss.

1786
01:49:59,287 --> 01:50:01,721
- We have a history.
- It was just a kiss.

1787
01:50:01,890 --> 01:50:03,687
Say nothing.

1788
01:50:04,292 --> 01:50:05,418
I am gonna tell him.

1789
01:50:08,296 --> 01:50:09,923
Do me a favor...

1790
01:50:10,098 --> 01:50:12,328
...and sleep on it.

1791
01:50:24,913 --> 01:50:26,904
<i>Your first sheesha experience.</i>

1792
01:50:27,449 --> 01:50:29,974
This is very exciting.

1793
01:50:30,152 --> 01:50:32,882
You put this pipe in your mouth...

1794
01:50:33,054 --> 01:50:35,215
And suck?

1795
01:50:41,329 --> 01:50:43,160
You are a natural.

1796
01:50:57,078 --> 01:51:00,138
I think you have another audience.

1797
01:51:06,855 --> 01:51:09,585
Abu Dhabi is so cutting-edge
in so many ways...

1798
01:51:09,758 --> 01:51:12,022
...and so backward when it comes to sex.

1799
01:51:12,194 --> 01:51:14,253
And the paradox is...

1800
01:51:14,429 --> 01:51:19,025
...I find myself to be most aroused
on my trips here.

1801
01:51:19,201 --> 01:51:20,930
Do tell.

1802
01:51:22,804 --> 01:51:27,935
If we were in, say, Paris,
or Madrid, right now...

1803
01:51:32,080 --> 01:51:36,278
...I would be having my hand down
your blouse, brushing your nipples.

1804
01:51:37,619 --> 01:51:41,020
But here, such things are forbidden.

1805
01:51:41,389 --> 01:51:44,483
And it's like being a boy again.

1806
01:51:48,330 --> 01:51:49,797
And are you a big boy?

1807
01:52:00,475 --> 01:52:01,567
Walk on the beach?

1808
01:52:02,077 --> 01:52:03,476
Oh, yes.

1809
01:52:03,645 --> 01:52:06,170
I need a walk on the beach.

1810
01:52:21,663 --> 01:52:24,564
Your top seems to have come undone.

1811
01:52:24,733 --> 01:52:26,428
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]

1812
01:52:50,091 --> 01:52:52,821
[PHONE RINGING]

1813
01:52:59,034 --> 01:53:02,401
Well, it's 2:30 a.m. There.
You still can't be jet-lagged.

1814
01:53:02,571 --> 01:53:04,436
Hi.

1815
01:53:05,240 --> 01:53:06,537
Something happened.

1816
01:53:07,075 --> 01:53:09,043
<i>- Are you okay?
- Yes. Yes.</i>

1817
01:53:09,210 --> 01:53:13,806
Nothing accident-wise or anything.

1818
01:53:13,982 --> 01:53:15,711
But it was an accident.

1819
01:53:15,884 --> 01:53:18,512
What happened? Are you physically okay?

1820
01:53:18,687 --> 01:53:20,621
<i>Yes, I'm...</i>

1821
01:53:21,256 --> 01:53:23,190
I'm fine.

1822
01:53:24,259 --> 01:53:29,526
I, uh, went to the spice market...

1823
01:53:29,698 --> 01:53:31,757
...and I ran into Aidan.

1824
01:53:34,069 --> 01:53:36,594
<i>- Hello?
- Yes?</i>

1825
01:53:36,771 --> 01:53:40,571
<i>And we decided to have dinner...</i>

1826
01:53:40,742 --> 01:53:47,238
...because it was so strange
to see each other there.

1827
01:53:47,782 --> 01:53:53,812
And at dinner we were talking about
how happy we were in our marriages and...

1828
01:53:53,989 --> 01:53:58,858
<i>And when we went to say goodbye...</i>

1829
01:53:59,761 --> 01:54:01,626
...somehow...

1830
01:54:04,633 --> 01:54:05,657
...we kissed.

1831
01:54:08,069 --> 01:54:11,004
<i>It didn't mean anything...</i>

1832
01:54:11,172 --> 01:54:13,697
...and it lasted only a second.

1833
01:54:13,875 --> 01:54:16,639
And I'm sick about it.

1834
01:54:16,811 --> 01:54:20,303
<i>And the girls didn't know
if I should even tell you...</i>

1835
01:54:20,482 --> 01:54:23,144
<i>... because it was just a kiss
and it means nothing.</i>

1836
01:54:23,318 --> 01:54:27,277
But I told them...

1837
01:54:27,455 --> 01:54:32,051
...that I couldn't have a secret from you.
That we don't have secrets.

1838
01:54:32,227 --> 01:54:36,891
And the secret
would just make it worse. So...

1839
01:54:37,565 --> 01:54:40,659
So I'm telling you.

1840
01:54:42,904 --> 01:54:47,500
And I feel awful.

1841
01:54:51,379 --> 01:54:53,643
And I'm sorry.

1842
01:54:58,853 --> 01:55:00,980
<i>Please say something.</i>

1843
01:55:03,925 --> 01:55:05,222
I'm at work, Carrie.

1844
01:55:05,560 --> 01:55:07,187
<i>I have to go.</i>

1845
01:55:07,362 --> 01:55:09,057
<i>Goodbye.</i>

1846
01:55:23,111 --> 01:55:25,909
[PHONE RINGS]

1847
01:55:26,081 --> 01:55:29,573
<i>- Hi. I was gonna call you back. I just...
SAMANTHA: Carrie, this is outrageous.</i>

1848
01:55:29,751 --> 01:55:31,514
<i>- I've been arrested.
- Wait, wait, wait.</i>

1849
01:55:31,686 --> 01:55:34,246
<i>- Samantha, wait. What's wrong?
- You gotta get down here.</i>

1850
01:55:37,792 --> 01:55:38,918
[GROANS]

1851
01:55:39,094 --> 01:55:40,186
Get up.

1852
01:55:40,361 --> 01:55:42,886
Samantha was arrested for having sex
on the beach.

1853
01:55:43,064 --> 01:55:45,225
She's at hotel security
and she needs a lawyer.

1854
01:55:45,400 --> 01:55:47,027
I'm on it.

1855
01:55:47,202 --> 01:55:48,863
No, no, no. That way.

1856
01:55:49,437 --> 01:55:52,031
We did not have sex.
We were just kissing.

1857
01:55:52,207 --> 01:55:55,973
And this uptight couple told
the security guard to arrest us.

1858
01:55:56,144 --> 01:55:58,874
See, kissing is something. It's illegal.

1859
01:56:00,482 --> 01:56:02,848
SAMANTHA: Oh, Mr. Safir,
thank you so much for coming.

1860
01:56:03,017 --> 01:56:05,918
I'm so sorry
about this unfortunate situation.

1861
01:56:06,087 --> 01:56:08,783
Ladies, if you don't mind waiting outside.

1862
01:56:08,957 --> 01:56:10,982
I'm her attorney. I'm gonna stay.

1863
01:56:11,593 --> 01:56:13,083
- Sure.
- We'll be right outside.

1864
01:56:19,000 --> 01:56:24,267
- It's all right.
- So, what is the severity of the situation?

1865
01:56:26,207 --> 01:56:30,075
The gentleman who reported the incident
is very conservative...

1866
01:56:30,245 --> 01:56:33,772
...and has insisted the offending event
be recorded.

1867
01:56:34,215 --> 01:56:37,150
Offending event? It was kissing.

1868
01:56:37,318 --> 01:56:40,287
I understand your feelings.
But we will need your passport.

1869
01:56:40,455 --> 01:56:43,322
My passport? You gotta be kidding me.

1870
01:56:43,491 --> 01:56:46,927
It's just to make a record.
To satisfy the complaining gentleman.

1871
01:56:49,864 --> 01:56:52,424
This is outrageous.

1872
01:56:52,600 --> 01:56:53,624
I know. I know.

1873
01:56:54,803 --> 01:56:57,101
It was just a kiss.

1874
01:56:57,872 --> 01:56:59,430
Thank you.

1875
01:57:13,288 --> 01:57:15,279
I guess I really missed who I used to be...

1876
01:57:15,456 --> 01:57:19,017
...and Aidan was such a big part
of that and...

1877
01:57:19,427 --> 01:57:22,225
Yes, I wanted the flirting,
and, yes, I wanted the attention.

1878
01:57:22,397 --> 01:57:24,024
But I didn't want the kiss.

1879
01:57:24,199 --> 01:57:26,793
The minute I kissed Aidan
I remembered who I used to be.

1880
01:57:26,968 --> 01:57:31,302
Someone just running around New York
like a crazy person...

1881
01:57:32,006 --> 01:57:34,531
...trying to get the one man I loved
to love me back.

1882
01:57:36,211 --> 01:57:37,542
And now he does love me...

1883
01:57:37,712 --> 01:57:42,479
...and he wants to sit on a couch
in New York City with me.

1884
01:57:46,387 --> 01:57:50,050
And I really hope my past hasn't
screwed up my future.

1885
01:57:52,460 --> 01:57:54,428
And what's so bad
about a couch anyway?

1886
01:57:58,266 --> 01:58:01,565
Oh, my God. I'm having a mid-wife crisis.

1887
01:58:06,474 --> 01:58:09,705
I should never have said anything to him.

1888
01:58:09,878 --> 01:58:13,939
<i>The New Yorker was right to slap
a big piece of tape across my mouth.</i>

1889
01:58:17,986 --> 01:58:21,581
And I'm sorry for that thing I said
about your marriage earlier.

1890
01:58:21,956 --> 01:58:23,389
I'm sorry too.

1891
01:58:23,558 --> 01:58:25,287
For what?

1892
01:58:25,793 --> 01:58:29,194
For having an attitude
about that two-day idea.

1893
01:58:30,031 --> 01:58:33,262
I've had two days away,
I've gotten a little sleep...

1894
01:58:33,434 --> 01:58:37,029
...and I am finally starting
to feel like myself again.

1895
01:58:37,205 --> 01:58:40,140
I think there's really something to it.

1896
01:58:42,944 --> 01:58:44,036
Maybe.

1897
01:58:46,347 --> 01:58:49,680
Well, let's just hope Big
doesn't want seven days off.

1898
01:58:52,720 --> 01:58:55,621
<i>And as morning arrived,
so did Samantha's release.</i>

1899
01:58:55,790 --> 01:58:57,690
MAHMUD:
I am sorry it took me so long to arrive.

1900
01:58:57,859 --> 01:58:59,554
SAMANTHA:
Well, you're here now, Mr. Mahmud.

1901
01:58:59,727 --> 01:59:02,491
I never got word
until I arrived at my office.

1902
01:59:02,664 --> 01:59:05,064
I'm sorry that you had to come
all the way out here.

1903
01:59:05,233 --> 01:59:07,997
- Well, it is all settled now.
- Thanks to you.

1904
01:59:08,670 --> 01:59:11,002
- Good to see you again, ladies.
- Thank you so much.

1905
01:59:11,539 --> 01:59:13,370
I'm starving.

1906
01:59:13,541 --> 01:59:16,567
Hello? What's for breakfast?

1907
01:59:16,744 --> 01:59:20,111
Abdul? Anybody?

1908
01:59:20,281 --> 01:59:23,114
Well, that's odd. Where are they?

1909
01:59:23,284 --> 01:59:25,218
[PHONE RINGING]

1910
01:59:26,721 --> 01:59:28,279
- Hello?
- Miss Jones, please.

1911
01:59:29,057 --> 01:59:30,524
Samantha. It's the front desk.

1912
01:59:33,094 --> 01:59:35,426
<i>- This is Samantha Jones.
- Miss Jones.</i>

1913
01:59:35,596 --> 01:59:37,291
This is Beydoun at the front desk.

1914
01:59:37,465 --> 01:59:40,093
I will need a credit card number
for the room charges.

1915
01:59:40,735 --> 01:59:43,033
Beydoun, there must be some mistake.

1916
01:59:43,204 --> 01:59:47,470
I am a guest of Sheikh Khalid.
There is no room charge.

1917
01:59:47,642 --> 01:59:50,475
Yes, I have a record of that.
But not from today on.

1918
01:59:50,645 --> 01:59:54,445
What are you talking about? I have
a meeting with the sheikh on Tuesday.

1919
01:59:54,615 --> 01:59:59,075
Ah, yes. I have a note here
from Mr. Mahmud.

1920
01:59:59,253 --> 02:00:02,017
That meeting is no longer as well.

1921
02:00:03,558 --> 02:00:06,118
That sneaky bastard
has canceled the meeting...

1922
02:00:06,294 --> 02:00:08,728
...and he wants us to pay
for the room from now on.

1923
02:00:09,897 --> 02:00:12,457
We have you booked into the Jewel Suite
until Wednesday.

1924
02:00:12,633 --> 02:00:14,965
The charge is 22,000 per night.

1925
02:00:15,937 --> 02:00:18,906
The room is $22,000 a night.

1926
02:00:19,741 --> 02:00:21,732
- What?
- We can't pay that.

1927
02:00:23,111 --> 02:00:24,339
Let them sue me.

1928
02:00:24,512 --> 02:00:29,074
The punishment for not paying
your hotel bill in the UAE is jail.

1929
02:00:32,420 --> 02:00:33,853
What time is checkout?

1930
02:00:34,022 --> 02:00:35,683
In precisely one hour.

1931
02:00:37,291 --> 02:00:41,591
We have an hour to pack
and get the fuck out of Abu Dhabi.

1932
02:00:42,263 --> 02:00:43,321
CHARLOTTE:
What?

1933
02:00:43,498 --> 02:00:45,591
What do you mean...?

1934
02:00:47,201 --> 02:00:48,896
New Middle East, my ass.

1935
02:00:52,640 --> 02:00:56,940
Fucking Paula Abdul.
Where is she when you need him?

1936
02:00:59,414 --> 02:01:00,745
Samantha!

1937
02:01:06,521 --> 02:01:08,716
Samantha!

1938
02:01:08,890 --> 02:01:10,949
I can't be ready in an hour!

1939
02:01:11,125 --> 02:01:13,923
Then you better have $22,000 a night!

1940
02:01:14,962 --> 02:01:16,224
CHARLOTTE:
Oh, my God.

1941
02:01:18,499 --> 02:01:20,558
All right. Okay.

1942
02:01:24,205 --> 02:01:26,799
I've got the bath products.

1943
02:01:27,975 --> 02:01:29,374
[KNOCKING]

1944
02:01:29,544 --> 02:01:32,775
MAN: Yes. Did you call about luggage?
MIRANDA: They're here for the luggage.

1945
02:01:32,947 --> 02:01:36,041
CARRIE:
Okay. I'm coming.

1946
02:01:47,528 --> 02:01:52,591
MIRANDA: Hi. I'm calling
to reconfirm four first-class tickets.

1947
02:01:52,767 --> 02:01:53,961
SAMANTHA: Oh, Christ.
CHARLOTTE: Are you okay?

1948
02:01:54,135 --> 02:01:57,764
MIRANDA: We were supposed to be
leaving on Tuesday, but...

1949
02:01:57,939 --> 02:01:59,600
CARRIE:
Sir.

1950
02:01:59,774 --> 02:02:01,401
- Shorts?
- I no longer care.

1951
02:02:01,576 --> 02:02:04,977
I am going from here to a plane to America,
where legs are not the devil.

1952
02:02:05,146 --> 02:02:06,408
At least zip up the jacket.

1953
02:02:06,581 --> 02:02:09,516
I am having a hot flash in 119 degrees.
I may die.

1954
02:02:09,684 --> 02:02:11,049
MAN: Yes, miss.
- Hello.

1955
02:02:11,219 --> 02:02:13,687
We called down for two cabs going
to the airport.

1956
02:02:13,855 --> 02:02:16,289
MAN: Right away.
- Thank you.

1957
02:02:26,134 --> 02:02:28,932
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

1958
02:02:29,103 --> 02:02:30,297
Oh, my God!

1959
02:02:30,471 --> 02:02:32,837
- What?
- I forgot to buy Harry and the girls a gift.

1960
02:02:33,007 --> 02:02:35,703
- I've gotta run to the gift shop.
MIRANDA: Get them at the airport.

1961
02:02:35,877 --> 02:02:39,176
How tacky. No, we have time.
The plane doesn't leave till 6.

1962
02:02:39,347 --> 02:02:42,339
Not chancing it. It's a miracle
I got these seats rebooked.

1963
02:02:42,517 --> 02:02:46,783
If anything goes wrong, we're flying back
13 and a half hours in coach.

1964
02:02:47,121 --> 02:02:48,884
Buy them some crap at the airport.

1965
02:02:49,991 --> 02:02:52,118
It's not here. My passport.

1966
02:02:52,293 --> 02:02:55,194
- Well, is it in another purse?
- No, no. I had it right here.

1967
02:02:55,363 --> 02:02:58,332
I had it right here next to my money
and the spices.

1968
02:02:59,233 --> 02:03:00,632
Well, they're not here either.

1969
02:03:04,472 --> 02:03:06,531
I left it where I bought the shoes.

1970
02:03:06,707 --> 02:03:10,143
I put it on the counter and then when
I saw Aidan I got distracted and l...

1971
02:03:10,311 --> 02:03:13,041
<i>- It's all right. It's okay.
- I have to go back to the souk.</i>

1972
02:03:13,214 --> 02:03:15,842
- What if it's not there?
- It will be there. It has to be.

1973
02:03:16,017 --> 02:03:17,279
- Miranda, go with me?
- Sure.

1974
02:03:17,451 --> 02:03:19,510
- We'll all go.
- You don't have to do that.

1975
02:03:19,687 --> 02:03:21,587
Yeah, like we'd dump you in Abu Dhabi.

1976
02:03:21,756 --> 02:03:25,317
Sir, we need to leave the bags here.
We'll come back for them.

1977
02:03:25,493 --> 02:03:28,792
No, no, no. Um, um. La, la, la, la.

1978
02:03:31,165 --> 02:03:32,860
No, no. No.

1979
02:03:33,034 --> 02:03:34,365
My nails!

1980
02:03:35,236 --> 02:03:37,568
No, sir. No! Not at all.
No. Not at all.

1981
02:03:37,738 --> 02:03:39,399
They're loading the other car!

1982
02:03:44,312 --> 02:03:47,110
Will you stop with the jacket?
You're flashing religious men.

1983
02:03:47,281 --> 02:03:49,374
I don't care,
I'm baking from the inside out.

1984
02:03:49,550 --> 02:03:51,177
How much farther?

1985
02:03:51,352 --> 02:03:54,150
There he is. Yeah, there he is.

1986
02:03:55,957 --> 02:03:58,357
Hello, sir. I was here the other day.

1987
02:03:58,526 --> 02:04:01,120
And I left a blue passport.

1988
02:04:04,532 --> 02:04:06,022
Yes!

1989
02:04:06,200 --> 02:04:08,896
Yes, that's me.
Oh, thank God. Thank Allah.

1990
02:04:10,871 --> 02:04:14,898
- Just please accept this as a thank-you, sir.
- No, no, no.

1991
02:04:16,344 --> 02:04:20,940
Oh, sir. Well, then, in that case,
shoes for everyone.

1992
02:04:21,282 --> 02:04:23,307
Okay, ladies, on me.
Quick, quick, quick.

1993
02:04:23,484 --> 02:04:24,712
Oh, thank you, sir.

1994
02:04:24,885 --> 02:04:27,445
MIRANDA:
So I think this...

1995
02:04:27,622 --> 02:04:30,682
...should lead us right out
to Al Ben Abi Talib Street...

1996
02:04:30,858 --> 02:04:33,122
...and we can get a cab back
to the hotel and go.

1997
02:04:33,294 --> 02:04:34,761
- And how are we for time?
- Good.

1998
02:04:37,131 --> 02:04:40,259
Hello, miss. Rolex? Special price.

1999
02:04:40,434 --> 02:04:41,958
Make beautiful gift for man.

2000
02:04:43,437 --> 02:04:46,668
- Do you have it in silver?
- Yes. Upstairs. Come.

2001
02:04:46,841 --> 02:04:48,502
- This one or this one.
- Not this one.

2002
02:04:48,676 --> 02:04:49,802
- Oh, craps.
- Wait!

2003
02:04:49,977 --> 02:04:52,241
- I think it's...
- Charlotte's buying a watch.

2004
02:04:52,413 --> 02:04:53,903
MAN:
Miss.

2005
02:04:54,782 --> 02:04:55,908
- Welcome.
CARRIE: Excuse us.

2006
02:04:56,083 --> 02:04:59,075
MAN: Ladies, come this way. Upstairs.
CARRIE: Wait, wait, wait. Hello?

2007
02:05:00,988 --> 02:05:03,013
We're with them.

2008
02:05:03,457 --> 02:05:04,890
Them. Them.

2009
02:05:05,059 --> 02:05:06,526
Okay.

2010
02:05:09,597 --> 02:05:11,827
MAN 1:
We have many designer bags.

2011
02:05:11,999 --> 02:05:14,593
MAN 2: Right through there.
MAN 1: Very good, very nice.

2012
02:05:14,769 --> 02:05:16,566
- You really enjoy this store.
MAN 2: Yes.

2013
02:05:16,737 --> 02:05:18,762
MAN 1: Please, have seat. Please.
MAN 2: Very good.

2014
02:05:18,939 --> 02:05:20,770
- Yes.
- Welcome.

2015
02:05:20,941 --> 02:05:22,033
- Thank you.
- This is...

2016
02:05:23,778 --> 02:05:27,214
Carrie. This is the watch you gave Big,
right? This could be Harry's gift.

2017
02:05:27,548 --> 02:05:29,812
No. Mine was vintage.
We should go. We should go.

2018
02:05:29,984 --> 02:05:31,952
- We have ladies' watches too, huh?
- Yeah.

2019
02:05:32,119 --> 02:05:34,815
We really, really need to go right now.

2020
02:05:34,989 --> 02:05:36,980
Is there any air in here?

2021
02:05:37,158 --> 02:05:39,388
- I have many other kinds.
- No, I'm so sorry.

2022
02:05:39,560 --> 02:05:41,721
We're going to miss our plane,
so nothing.

2023
02:05:41,896 --> 02:05:43,124
Thank you. Thank you.

2024
02:05:43,297 --> 02:05:44,787
- Beautiful.
- You want watch, yes?

2025
02:05:44,965 --> 02:05:47,229
- No, no, no. She didn't want anything.
- No.

2026
02:05:47,401 --> 02:05:48,732
- Sorry.
- Thank you, though.

2027
02:05:48,903 --> 02:05:50,803
Go. Then go.

2028
02:05:51,605 --> 02:05:53,732
- We have to go.
- No, you have to put this on...

2029
02:05:53,908 --> 02:05:55,705
...before we go outside.
- You go.

2030
02:05:55,876 --> 02:05:57,400
- Sorry.
- No purse? No purse?

2031
02:05:57,578 --> 02:06:02,015
- Thank you, sir.
- No purse? Purse? No purse?

2032
02:06:09,123 --> 02:06:10,317
- It's forbidden.
- What?

2033
02:06:10,491 --> 02:06:12,049
It...

2034
02:06:12,226 --> 02:06:14,387
[MUEZZIN SINGING CALL TO PRAYER
OVER SPEAKERS]

2035
02:06:14,562 --> 02:06:16,996
- What's that?
- It's the call to prayer.

2036
02:06:17,164 --> 02:06:18,358
Hey, lady!

2037
02:06:20,401 --> 02:06:23,370
Hey, you! Hey, you. I see you steal this.

2038
02:06:23,537 --> 02:06:25,402
- This is mine!
- I seen you take it!

2039
02:06:25,573 --> 02:06:27,768
SAMANTHA:
I didn't steal it! It's mine!

2040
02:06:33,781 --> 02:06:35,612
You broke my Birkin!

2041
02:06:36,217 --> 02:06:37,582
Sorry. Mistake.

2042
02:06:50,731 --> 02:06:53,928
Condoms! Condoms, yes! Condoms!

2043
02:06:55,836 --> 02:06:58,566
- I have sex!
- Okay, okay.

2044
02:06:58,739 --> 02:07:00,934
- Samantha.
- Yes! Yes!

2045
02:07:04,278 --> 02:07:06,303
I have condoms!

2046
02:07:07,248 --> 02:07:08,715
Here they are!

2047
02:07:09,850 --> 02:07:10,874
Bite me!

2048
02:07:16,023 --> 02:07:19,322
- Bite me! Oh, bite me!
- No, no, no.

2049
02:07:22,129 --> 02:07:24,290
MIRANDA:
Go, go. Keep going.

2050
02:07:25,566 --> 02:07:27,261
Put your jacket on.

2051
02:07:27,435 --> 02:07:30,927
CARRIE: You're worried about getting old?
You're exactly the same as when I met you.

2052
02:07:31,105 --> 02:07:33,972
- Yes, I am. Good for me.
- Oh, they're following us.

2053
02:07:34,141 --> 02:07:37,201
Yes, because that was major disrespect.
And it's against the law.

2054
02:07:37,378 --> 02:07:39,642
- So, what do we do?
- Just keep walking and pray...

2055
02:07:39,814 --> 02:07:41,805
...no one calls a cop.

2056
02:07:52,259 --> 02:07:54,420
I think they want us to follow them.

2057
02:07:58,566 --> 02:08:00,158
- I think we should.
MIRANDA: Okay, go.

2058
02:08:00,334 --> 02:08:01,665
CHARLOTTE:
Okay.

2059
02:08:13,414 --> 02:08:16,281
All right. All right. Here we go.

2060
02:08:22,923 --> 02:08:24,447
Hello.

2061
02:08:29,563 --> 02:08:31,554
You are welcome, you are welcome.

2062
02:08:31,732 --> 02:08:33,461
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]

2063
02:08:35,002 --> 02:08:36,993
That was quite a show outside.

2064
02:08:37,171 --> 02:08:38,195
Terrible.

2065
02:08:38,372 --> 02:08:40,067
So disrespectful.

2066
02:08:40,241 --> 02:08:41,538
Yes.

2067
02:08:42,510 --> 02:08:43,807
I quite enjoyed it.

2068
02:08:44,478 --> 02:08:50,542
- And the men will be outraged for weeks.
- For months. Some, perhaps years.

2069
02:08:52,386 --> 02:08:55,048
Could I bother you for a glass of water?
I'm burning up.

2070
02:08:55,222 --> 02:08:57,156
- Yes.
- Hot flashes.

2071
02:08:58,993 --> 02:09:01,587
Yeah. She knows.

2072
02:09:01,762 --> 02:09:03,923
Have you read this?

2073
02:09:05,165 --> 02:09:08,100
We are discussing it
in our book club today.

2074
02:09:08,269 --> 02:09:09,896
- Suzanne Somers.
- Suzanne Somers.

2075
02:09:10,070 --> 02:09:11,537
- Suzanne Somers.
- Suzanne Somers.

2076
02:09:11,705 --> 02:09:13,730
Lady gets around.

2077
02:09:14,608 --> 02:09:15,734
They took my creams.

2078
02:09:18,646 --> 02:09:21,171
I take it you are visiting
from the United States?

2079
02:09:21,348 --> 02:09:24,408
- New York City.
- New York?

2080
02:09:27,054 --> 02:09:29,648
Carnegie Hall, Fifth Avenue.

2081
02:09:33,360 --> 02:09:34,850
You've been to New York?

2082
02:09:35,496 --> 02:09:37,225
No.

2083
02:09:37,965 --> 02:09:40,263
But we love the fashion.

2084
02:09:47,741 --> 02:09:49,140
- Louis Vuitton.
- Yes.

2085
02:09:49,310 --> 02:09:51,210
Yes.

2086
02:09:52,746 --> 02:09:57,308
<i>And there, in a dried-flower shop,
halfway across the world...</i>

2087
02:09:57,484 --> 02:10:00,180
<i>... underneath hundreds of years
of tradition...</i>

2088
02:10:00,354 --> 02:10:02,754
<i>... was this year's spring collection.</i>

2089
02:10:02,923 --> 02:10:04,948
- So beautiful.
- So pretty.

2090
02:10:13,033 --> 02:10:16,594
- What'd she say? What'd she say?
- Something, something, Arab women.

2091
02:10:16,770 --> 02:10:20,399
Would you like anything to drink?
Coffee, tea? Anything, really.

2092
02:10:21,642 --> 02:10:24,805
Sorry. If we don't leave now,
we'll miss our flight.

2093
02:10:24,979 --> 02:10:28,142
But what about those angry men
out there?

2094
02:10:28,315 --> 02:10:30,749
How are we gonna get past them?

2095
02:10:35,856 --> 02:10:37,084
CARRIE:
All clear.

2096
02:10:37,257 --> 02:10:39,054
MIRANDA:
This way.

2097
02:10:46,900 --> 02:10:48,834
It's this way.

2098
02:10:50,304 --> 02:10:52,238
Hey, where's Charlotte?

2099
02:10:52,573 --> 02:10:54,165
- She was behind you.
- No, I know.

2100
02:10:54,341 --> 02:10:58,300
I'm gonna fucking kill her. If we miss
that flight, we're flying home coach.

2101
02:10:58,479 --> 02:11:02,176
Shoes, the shoes. Look for her shoes.
She was wearing purple peep-toe platforms.

2102
02:11:02,349 --> 02:11:03,543
- Got it.
- Right.

2103
02:11:10,557 --> 02:11:12,388
There she is.

2104
02:11:13,661 --> 02:11:15,026
Charlotte!

2105
02:11:15,195 --> 02:11:17,527
Look! For the girls!

2106
02:11:18,232 --> 02:11:19,961
MIRANDA:
Taxi!

2107
02:11:21,902 --> 02:11:24,598
- Taxi!
CARRIE: Don't women here take cabs?

2108
02:11:24,772 --> 02:11:26,205
Taxi!

2109
02:11:26,373 --> 02:11:30,070
Why won't they stop? We're out of time.
We're gonna get bumped from first class.

2110
02:11:30,244 --> 02:11:32,144
I can't be in menopause and in coach.

2111
02:11:33,480 --> 02:11:36,210
I have an idea. Hold this.

2112
02:11:36,383 --> 02:11:38,681
- What's she doing?
- I don't know.

2113
02:11:49,963 --> 02:11:51,328
CARRIE: Oh, hurry.
SAMANTHA: Get in.

2114
02:11:51,498 --> 02:11:53,523
MIRANDA: I'll get in the front.
CHARLOTTE: Thank you so much.

2115
02:11:53,701 --> 02:11:58,400
- Thank you, sir. Oh, yes.
MIRANDA: We're going to the Taj Al Saharaa.

2116
02:12:07,081 --> 02:12:08,810
Thank you.

2117
02:12:12,519 --> 02:12:14,612
Do you have anything to declare?

2118
02:12:14,788 --> 02:12:16,722
Yes. I'm a mess.

2119
02:12:19,093 --> 02:12:20,890
Thank you.

2120
02:12:22,463 --> 02:12:24,897
WOMAN:
Do you have anything to declare?

2121
02:12:26,066 --> 02:12:30,059
<i>Turns out, Big never met me
at the airport like he promised.</i>

2122
02:12:30,237 --> 02:12:32,705
- Thank you, William.
- No problem, Mrs. Preston.

2123
02:12:52,860 --> 02:12:54,555
John?

2124
02:12:58,232 --> 02:13:00,996
<i>No Big and no TV.</i>

2125
02:13:05,873 --> 02:13:07,738
LILY: Here comes Mommy.
HARRY: Here comes Mommy.

2126
02:13:07,908 --> 02:13:10,138
- Hey, there she is.
LILY: Mommy, hi.

2127
02:13:10,310 --> 02:13:13,404
HARRY: Let's say hello, let's say hello.
- Oh, I missed you so much.

2128
02:13:13,580 --> 02:13:16,481
- Hi! Baby Rose.
HARRY: Hello, my love.

2129
02:13:16,650 --> 02:13:19,813
- I missed you so much.
ROSE: Mommy.

2130
02:13:36,270 --> 02:13:37,931
[LINE RINGING]

2131
02:13:38,105 --> 02:13:41,074
<i>BIG [ON RECORDING]: I can't pick up,
so please leave me a message.</i>

2132
02:13:41,241 --> 02:13:43,835
Hi, it's me. I'm home.

2133
02:13:44,178 --> 02:13:45,975
Where are you?

2134
02:13:59,259 --> 02:14:00,886
[DOOR OPENS]

2135
02:14:16,743 --> 02:14:18,472
Hi.

2136
02:14:19,947 --> 02:14:21,471
Where you been all day?

2137
02:14:23,250 --> 02:14:25,241
Walking around.

2138
02:14:26,587 --> 02:14:28,487
Killing time.

2139
02:14:31,291 --> 02:14:32,485
Torturing you.

2140
02:14:34,161 --> 02:14:35,185
Well, it worked.

2141
02:14:36,697 --> 02:14:39,495
- I thought you weren't gonna come back.
- Oh, no.

2142
02:14:40,133 --> 02:14:42,124
I'm a grownup.

2143
02:14:42,569 --> 02:14:43,831
And I made a vow.

2144
02:14:44,872 --> 02:14:46,533
Remember?

2145
02:14:47,007 --> 02:14:48,998
Ever thine, ever mine.

2146
02:14:49,176 --> 02:14:50,575
Ever ours.

2147
02:14:59,553 --> 02:15:01,544
Just so you know...

2148
02:15:02,456 --> 02:15:04,356
...that really tore me up.

2149
02:15:04,725 --> 02:15:06,750
I'm sorry.

2150
02:15:07,928 --> 02:15:10,624
You know, it seems to me
that you're a bit of a rookie...

2151
02:15:10,797 --> 02:15:13,061
...when it comes
to this whole marriage idea.

2152
02:15:13,867 --> 02:15:16,028
And maybe in light of what happened...

2153
02:15:16,203 --> 02:15:19,366
...until you get a better understanding
of what this is all about...

2154
02:15:19,539 --> 02:15:21,803
...you need a little reminder.

2155
02:15:25,178 --> 02:15:27,703
This is your punishment.

2156
02:15:30,017 --> 02:15:34,044
You have to wear this every day
so that you remember...

2157
02:15:34,955 --> 02:15:35,979
...you're married.

2158
02:15:37,557 --> 02:15:39,320
Gladly.

2159
02:15:41,395 --> 02:15:43,386
It dawned on me
when I was walking around...

2160
02:15:43,563 --> 02:15:47,124
...that while you wrote
a funny book about vows...

2161
02:15:47,301 --> 02:15:50,702
...you never actually wrote any vows
from you to me.

2162
02:15:51,405 --> 02:15:53,066
Oh, I did.

2163
02:15:53,240 --> 02:15:56,334
But then that wedding never happened.

2164
02:15:58,245 --> 02:16:01,009
I guess we all make stupid mistakes.

2165
02:16:04,051 --> 02:16:05,678
You were saying.

2166
02:16:05,852 --> 02:16:07,479
Vows.

2167
02:16:08,221 --> 02:16:11,384
I took the liberty of making up
some vows for you.

2168
02:16:11,558 --> 02:16:14,288
Repeat after me, please.

2169
02:16:14,461 --> 02:16:17,362
I will never kiss another man other
than my husband.

2170
02:16:17,531 --> 02:16:20,295
I will never kiss another man other
than my husband.

2171
02:16:20,467 --> 02:16:23,402
I will stop worrying
about being a boring old married couple...

2172
02:16:23,570 --> 02:16:25,936
...because we never will be.

2173
02:16:26,106 --> 02:16:30,202
I will stop worrying
about being a boring old married couple...

2174
02:16:30,377 --> 02:16:32,868
...because we never will be.

2175
02:16:33,447 --> 02:16:35,142
Are you sure?

2176
02:16:35,716 --> 02:16:38,241
It's gonna be just us two.

2177
02:16:39,619 --> 02:16:41,052
Are we enough?

2178
02:16:42,089 --> 02:16:43,784
Kid...

2179
02:16:44,324 --> 02:16:45,814
...we're too much.

2180
02:16:50,964 --> 02:16:52,556
How's that for a little sparkle?

2181
02:16:54,101 --> 02:16:56,467
That's a lot of sparkle.

2182
02:16:59,373 --> 02:17:01,466
Why'd you get a black diamond?

2183
02:17:01,908 --> 02:17:04,342
Because you're not like anyone else.

2184
02:17:05,612 --> 02:17:07,045
That's a relief.

2185
02:17:07,214 --> 02:17:10,775
I thought you were gonna say
it's the color of my soul.

2186
02:17:15,756 --> 02:17:19,988
<i>And, like it always will,
time moved us on.</i>

2187
02:17:21,028 --> 02:17:22,052
<i>And in the future...</i>

2188
02:17:22,229 --> 02:17:25,426
MIRANDA: I am proud to report
that the settlement we attained...

2189
02:17:25,599 --> 02:17:28,796
...for Global Families Incorporated
surpassed their expectations.

2190
02:17:28,969 --> 02:17:33,702
<i>- Miranda learned that at the right law firm,
where her voice was valued...</i>

2191
02:17:33,874 --> 02:17:37,071
<i>... she was also fun at work.</i>

2192
02:17:38,945 --> 02:17:43,075
<i>And that July 4th,
on an East Hampton sand dune...</i>

2193
02:17:44,418 --> 02:17:48,548
<i>... Samantha learned that good things
do come to those who wait...</i>

2194
02:17:48,722 --> 02:17:54,524
<i>... when she and Rikard
resumed their date in the land of the free...</i>

2195
02:17:56,430 --> 02:17:58,421
<i>... and the home of the hormones.</i>

2196
02:17:58,598 --> 02:18:00,862
[SAMANTHA MOANING]

2197
02:18:05,372 --> 02:18:09,502
<i>And Charlotte learned that she never
really had anything to worry about.</i>

2198
02:18:09,676 --> 02:18:15,205
<i>Turns out, her hot nanny preferred
the company of other hot nannies.</i>

2199
02:18:15,382 --> 02:18:17,475
SAMANTHA: Stanford, here's a refresher.
- Yes, please.

2200
02:18:17,651 --> 02:18:20,848
- Happy birthday.
- What are you doing? You drank it all?

2201
02:18:21,021 --> 02:18:23,046
<i>And as Rose turned 3...</i>

2202
02:18:27,527 --> 02:18:31,156
<i>... and our marriage grew out
of the terrible twos...</i>

2203
02:18:31,331 --> 02:18:36,234
<i>... Big and I found less and less need
to escape to the other apartment.</i>

2204
02:18:39,973 --> 02:18:42,806
<i>But we kept the option open.</i>

2205
02:18:42,976 --> 02:18:46,412
<i>Just in case someone
needed those two days off.</i>

2206
02:19:02,395 --> 02:19:04,829
<i>As for me, I began to think of marriage...</i>

2207
02:19:04,998 --> 02:19:08,764
<i>... much like the Real Housewife
of Abu Dhabi's veil.</i>

2208
02:19:08,935 --> 02:19:14,168
<i>You have to take the tradition
and decorate it your way.</i>

2209
02:19:18,612 --> 02:19:20,409
<i>WOMAN [ON TV]:
- trying to make up my mind for me.</i>

2210
02:19:20,580 --> 02:19:22,946
<i>MAN:
Well, stop it and do as I tell you.</i>

2211
02:19:24,117 --> 02:19:26,347
<i>WOMAN: Leopold.
- Never take a stubborn woman...</i>

2212
02:19:26,520 --> 02:19:29,455
<i>... they're a curse. My mother
warned me against stubborn women.</i>

2213
02:19:29,623 --> 02:19:30,647
<i>WOMAN:
Leopold.</i>

2214
02:19:30,824 --> 02:19:33,691
<i>MAN: Now, stop following me
or I'll call the police.</i>

2215
02:19:37,797 --> 02:19:41,824
<i>CARRIE: Because while movies may be
wonderful in black and white...</i>

2216
02:19:42,002 --> 02:19:44,129
<i>... when it comes to relationships...</i>

2217
02:19:44,304 --> 02:19:48,604
<i>... there's a whole range of colors
and options to explore.</i>

2218
02:19:48,775 --> 02:19:52,233
<i>And that's where I am today.</i>