1 00:00:05,107 --> 00:00:10,932 2 00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:07,106 Come on. Let's go. 3 00:01:07,751 --> 00:01:10,915 Wait a minute! You can't just return them. 4 00:01:14,152 --> 00:01:16,357 They said I wasn't a good fit. 5 00:01:16,791 --> 00:01:18,872 There'll be another family, Michelle. 6 00:01:30,471 --> 00:01:32,389 Oh, come on! Wait a minute! 7 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:36,828 What's the matter with me? 8 00:01:36,871 --> 00:01:38,549 Not a thing, Michelle. 9 00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:41,674 God's children are all perfect. 10 00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:44,028 In their own way. 11 00:01:51,751 --> 00:01:53,553 Fuck you! 12 00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:57,075 Never lose hope, Michelle. 13 00:01:57,470 --> 00:01:59,752 There's a family out there for everyone. 14 00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:01,949 Come on, Agnes. Families are for suckers. 15 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,829 Don't worry about me. I don't need anybody. 16 00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:06,634 I'm going straight to the top. 17 00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:10,469 Michelle. Michelle? 18 00:02:10,510 --> 00:02:12,111 Michelle! Michelle! 19 00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:13,273 - Michelle! - Michelle? 20 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,955 She's the CEO of three Fortune 500 companies 21 00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:21,344 and the best-selling financial author of Money Talks, Bullshit Walks. 22 00:02:21,429 --> 00:02:24,382 The one, the only, Michelle Darnell! 23 00:02:25,669 --> 00:02:28,670 Who wants to make some money? 24 00:02:30,629 --> 00:02:33,506 I can't hear you, Chicago! 25 00:02:39,349 --> 00:02:40,432 Get those hands up! 26 00:02:46,589 --> 00:02:48,593 Come on! There we go! 27 00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:51,543 MD going in on the verse 'Cause I never been defeated 28 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,585 And I won't stop now 29 00:02:52,668 --> 00:02:53,713 Keep your hands up, put 'em in the sky 30 00:02:53,788 --> 00:02:55,629 For the homies didn't make it and my folks locked down 31 00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,347 I never went nowhere 32 00:02:57,429 --> 00:03:00,306 They're saying 'Chelle's back Blame it on the conjure 33 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,874 They call it M.D.-ac 34 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,550 Can't never count me out 35 00:03:03,589 --> 00:03:04,864 Y'all better count me in 36 00:03:04,948 --> 00:03:07,940 Got twenty bank accounts Accountants count me in 37 00:03:08,028 --> 00:03:09,504 Make millions every year 38 00:03:09,548 --> 00:03:11,111 The Chi's champion 39 00:03:11,188 --> 00:03:13,067 'Cause all I do is... 40 00:03:13,308 --> 00:03:15,072 Give it up for T-Pain! 41 00:03:15,108 --> 00:03:17,505 All I do is win, win, win no matter what Got money on my mind 42 00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,940 I can never get enough 43 00:03:19,028 --> 00:03:21,943 And every time I step up in the building 44 00:03:21,988 --> 00:03:23,915 Everybody hands go up 45 00:03:25,268 --> 00:03:26,351 And they stay there 46 00:03:26,427 --> 00:03:28,153 And they say yeah 47 00:03:28,228 --> 00:03:29,465 And they stay there 48 00:03:29,508 --> 00:03:31,627 Up down, up down, up down 49 00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:34,546 'Cause all I do is win, win, win 50 00:03:34,627 --> 00:03:38,395 And if you goin' in put your hands in the air Make them stay there 51 00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:50,946 Thank you, Chicago! 52 00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:53,951 Thank you. All right. 53 00:03:54,027 --> 00:03:55,033 I love you! 54 00:03:55,107 --> 00:03:56,746 Thank you. I love you, too. 55 00:03:56,827 --> 00:03:58,428 My name is Michelle Darnell 56 00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:01,391 and I am the 47th wealthiest woman in America. 57 00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:04,990 How wealthy am I? 58 00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:08,306 I had Destiny's Child reunite 59 00:04:09,027 --> 00:04:12,230 only to have them come over to my personal living room 60 00:04:12,307 --> 00:04:14,311 so I could watch them break apart again. 61 00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:15,425 Huh? 62 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:19,750 How did I get to my success level? What's my secret? 63 00:04:20,147 --> 00:04:21,901 I worked myself silly. 64 00:04:22,747 --> 00:04:24,386 Okay, number one. 65 00:04:24,466 --> 00:04:26,633 You work your ass off to get what you want. 66 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:30,981 Number two. You do not let other people drag you down. 67 00:04:31,066 --> 00:04:32,389 'Cause they will. 68 00:04:34,346 --> 00:04:38,623 They are an anchor in your life that you do not want. 69 00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:41,667 Cut 'em loose and sail off. 70 00:04:41,746 --> 00:04:43,462 If you work this program... 71 00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:46,461 You. Will. Get. Rich. 72 00:04:48,506 --> 00:04:51,104 And I'm not talking about chump change. 73 00:04:51,185 --> 00:04:54,944 And I'm not talking about some loose dollar bills at the bottom of your purse. 74 00:04:55,025 --> 00:04:57,739 I'm talking about real fucking money! 75 00:04:57,825 --> 00:04:59,982 Life-changing money! 76 00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:04,259 Real fucking money! Real fucking money! 77 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,658 That's how you do it. 78 00:05:07,865 --> 00:05:09,619 Now let's go make some money! 79 00:05:40,385 --> 00:05:42,063 Thank you, Tito. What a night! 80 00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:44,225 That's right, MD. 81 00:05:44,304 --> 00:05:45,310 Yeah. 82 00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:48,865 I'm amazed that the United Center is even still standing 83 00:05:48,944 --> 00:05:50,420 because I crushed it tonight. 84 00:05:50,464 --> 00:05:51,777 You crushed it like velvet. 85 00:05:51,864 --> 00:05:54,616 Like velvet! Send T-Pain some "thank you" flowers. 86 00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:55,663 - Okay? - Okay. 87 00:05:55,744 --> 00:05:57,825 Look into getting more fire power to that bird. 88 00:05:57,904 --> 00:05:59,467 Absolutely. More power. 89 00:05:59,544 --> 00:06:01,663 No. The fire marshal almost shut us down 90 00:06:01,784 --> 00:06:03,299 based on the pyrotechnics we used tonight. 91 00:06:03,384 --> 00:06:04,381 I don't think that's an option. 92 00:06:04,463 --> 00:06:06,390 Let's hire a new fire marshal. 93 00:06:06,463 --> 00:06:08,659 I don't think you can hire a fire marshal. 94 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,498 I think it's a city-appointed position, 95 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:11,580 but I'll look into it. 96 00:06:11,944 --> 00:06:14,466 All she does is win, Claire. Toot-toot! 97 00:06:14,503 --> 00:06:17,149 I got this, Tito. Okay? You can sit this one out. 98 00:06:18,303 --> 00:06:19,262 Claire? 99 00:06:19,303 --> 00:06:20,942 Oh, teeth whitening. Sorry. Sorry, yes. 100 00:06:21,023 --> 00:06:22,346 - My God. - Sorry. 101 00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:26,508 - Hmm. - I have to remind you. That seems... 102 00:06:26,943 --> 00:06:29,589 That seems like a little the opposite, right? 103 00:06:29,663 --> 00:06:30,622 Yeah. 104 00:06:31,302 --> 00:06:33,181 Okay. Yeah, I think if you keep your... 105 00:06:33,222 --> 00:06:35,820 You need to keep your tongue inside your mouth for this to work. 106 00:06:35,903 --> 00:06:39,499 Last week you very specifically said, "Keep tongue out." 107 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:41,184 - No. - You did say that, Claire. 108 00:06:41,223 --> 00:06:43,227 I said, "Get your tongue out of the picture." 109 00:06:43,262 --> 00:06:44,623 She's got to breathe, Claire. 110 00:06:44,703 --> 00:06:46,429 Somebody must be hungry. 111 00:06:46,463 --> 00:06:49,177 Somebody gets very crabby when she's hungry. 112 00:06:49,503 --> 00:06:50,941 You're a little hangry, Claire. 113 00:06:51,023 --> 00:06:52,384 I'm not hangry, Tito. 114 00:06:52,502 --> 00:06:54,736 Hungry and angry. You hangry, Claire. 115 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,268 Sixty seconds of no talking. 116 00:06:56,342 --> 00:06:57,665 'Cause this has to set for 60 seconds. 117 00:06:57,782 --> 00:06:59,105 I've been waiting. I mean, I'm in here. 118 00:06:59,142 --> 00:07:00,618 You're the only one that's talking, Claire. 119 00:07:00,702 --> 00:07:02,936 You're the only one talking. It's hilarious. 120 00:07:02,982 --> 00:07:07,901 It's like that classic comedy gag, "He's on my baseball." 121 00:07:07,942 --> 00:07:09,179 Who's on my baseball? 122 00:07:09,301 --> 00:07:10,547 Who's on my baseball? 123 00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:12,743 Uh, who's on my baseball? 124 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,984 - Oh, no it's... - Who's on my baseball? 125 00:07:15,061 --> 00:07:18,580 I think it's, "Who's on first. What's on second? I Don't Know is on third." 126 00:07:18,621 --> 00:07:19,580 Right? 127 00:07:20,382 --> 00:07:22,779 - I don't think that's... - Uh, no. 128 00:07:23,421 --> 00:07:25,655 I think you're on my baseball. 129 00:07:25,702 --> 00:07:27,341 - Who's on my baseball? - First base. 130 00:07:29,861 --> 00:07:31,903 What's on my baseball? 131 00:07:31,941 --> 00:07:33,216 Baseball 132 00:07:33,301 --> 00:07:35,583 Great. So, since I have you for a second, 133 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:39,015 you told me to remind you exactly a year ago today 134 00:07:39,101 --> 00:07:42,620 that it's been three years since my last pay increase. 135 00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:44,099 I don't think that's true. 136 00:07:44,181 --> 00:07:45,820 That doesn't ring... 137 00:07:45,861 --> 00:07:47,424 Does that seem accurate to you? 138 00:07:47,781 --> 00:07:49,459 That sounds false. 139 00:07:50,061 --> 00:07:51,748 But you crushed it tonight! 140 00:07:51,781 --> 00:07:54,341 It's not false, Tito. It's entirely accurate. 141 00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:56,577 And I wrote down what you said. 142 00:07:56,661 --> 00:07:59,336 Oh, Claire, I don't know why you always have to quote. 143 00:07:59,421 --> 00:08:01,665 "Claire, exactly one year from today 144 00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:04,060 "I'm going to give you a raise so big 145 00:08:04,141 --> 00:08:06,979 "you'll cream your jeans and shat your chaps." 146 00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:10,742 Claire. That is wildly inappropriate. 147 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:12,699 - Wildly. - Lowbrow, Claire. 148 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:15,099 I run your entire organization, Michelle. 149 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:16,346 I do a great job. 150 00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:18,614 I made myself available for you 24 hours a day 151 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:21,057 while being a single mom, I might add. 152 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,537 I deserve a raise and a title change. 153 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:25,095 I'd like "Executive Assistant." 154 00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:29,421 Now that surprises me, 'cause I did not know that you had a child. 155 00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:32,700 Was that through... Was that through intercourse? 156 00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:33,937 Yes. 157 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,255 You know what? Good for you. 158 00:08:36,019 --> 00:08:38,253 Michelle, if you can't give me a raise, 159 00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:39,747 I can't continue to work here. 160 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:45,424 Well, look who finally showed up to my seminar. 161 00:08:46,299 --> 00:08:48,619 'Bout time, Claire. I love it. 162 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,454 I didn't know if you were listening all these years. 163 00:08:50,539 --> 00:08:51,574 What am I always saying? 164 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:52,811 "Don't go in that room." 165 00:08:52,859 --> 00:08:55,371 True. I do say that. But I also say, 166 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,304 "If you want something, you gotta take it." 167 00:08:58,339 --> 00:09:00,295 Claire, you just took it. 168 00:09:00,378 --> 00:09:02,132 And you grew a pair in the process. 169 00:09:02,219 --> 00:09:03,532 I'm holding your earrings. 170 00:09:03,579 --> 00:09:05,660 You're holding a pair of earrings 171 00:09:05,939 --> 00:09:09,065 that in 2001, I paid $62,000 for. 172 00:09:09,819 --> 00:09:12,341 And that's your raise, now. That's a good raise. 173 00:09:12,379 --> 00:09:13,462 And you earned it. 174 00:09:13,818 --> 00:09:14,815 Thank you. 175 00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:17,133 Congratulations on your balls, Claire. 176 00:09:18,459 --> 00:09:20,060 Isn't Tito the greatest? 177 00:09:20,138 --> 00:09:21,423 I love Tito. 178 00:09:21,698 --> 00:09:22,858 What are you doing up here? 179 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,498 Miss Darnell, this just came for you. They said it was urgent. 180 00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:31,101 Oh, it's ringing. 181 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:35,617 Oh, boy. 182 00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:37,655 Go for Darnell. 183 00:09:38,218 --> 00:09:40,423 I will not be ignored. 184 00:09:40,658 --> 00:09:41,617 Ah. 185 00:09:42,097 --> 00:09:43,899 Hi there, Ronald. 186 00:09:44,498 --> 00:09:45,581 It's "Renault." 187 00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:48,770 Why are you muscling in on my Takoro deal? 188 00:09:49,617 --> 00:09:51,256 You know what? A little birdie told me 189 00:09:51,338 --> 00:09:53,984 that Takoro was merging with Samson International. 190 00:09:54,017 --> 00:09:55,935 So I acquired the majority of the stock. 191 00:09:56,018 --> 00:09:58,425 That's called insider trading, Michelle. 192 00:09:58,457 --> 00:10:00,211 Which makes you a criminal. 193 00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:02,618 You're going to be sorry you ever dishonored me. 194 00:10:02,657 --> 00:10:05,179 God, for the last time, you're not a samurai, Ronald. 195 00:10:05,257 --> 00:10:06,216 It's "Renault"! 196 00:10:06,297 --> 00:10:09,423 No, it's not. It's "Ron," and you're from Jersey. 197 00:10:15,457 --> 00:10:18,065 Phil. Take off that ridiculous top. 198 00:10:18,257 --> 00:10:19,820 You should never cover that up. 199 00:10:19,897 --> 00:10:20,903 Okay. 200 00:10:21,456 --> 00:10:23,815 Please don't forget you have an interview first thing Monday. 201 00:10:23,897 --> 00:10:24,942 We'll see. 202 00:10:25,777 --> 00:10:27,579 Let me just... Let me just help you out there. 203 00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:35,422 You'll regret this, Michelle! 204 00:10:40,217 --> 00:10:41,895 Get me the SEC. 205 00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:42,935 Okay. 206 00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:47,097 We are back with the one and only, Michelle Darnell. 207 00:10:47,136 --> 00:10:49,293 Let's talk about your relationship with your mentor, 208 00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,580 that mega mogul, Ida Marquette. 209 00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:54,734 Well, Gayle, we've got a terrific relationship. 210 00:10:54,775 --> 00:10:56,376 Really? I'm so surprised to hear that, 211 00:10:56,415 --> 00:10:59,656 only because we came across this tape the other day. Take a look. 212 00:10:59,776 --> 00:11:01,895 - Oh. - I was Michelle's mentor. 213 00:11:01,976 --> 00:11:03,577 It's so hard to describe her. 214 00:11:03,656 --> 00:11:07,540 She's a business woman, a visionary, a leader, 215 00:11:07,575 --> 00:11:10,010 a natural born cocksucker, a motherfucker, 216 00:11:10,096 --> 00:11:12,215 an ass-wipe, a shit stain, 217 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,899 and sewer rat, fuck-face, professional. 218 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:18,939 Doesn't sound so chummy. 219 00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:21,816 Oh, I think a couple of those beeps were actually compliments. 220 00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,370 That's one way to look at it. 221 00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:25,006 Michelle, I want to talk about you. 222 00:11:25,095 --> 00:11:27,933 That you were, basically, abandoned as a child, 223 00:11:28,015 --> 00:11:30,460 bounced around from foster home to foster home, 224 00:11:30,535 --> 00:11:33,296 and that, really, you were raised in an orphanage. 225 00:11:33,334 --> 00:11:34,571 No, no, no. 226 00:11:34,615 --> 00:11:39,736 I was lucky enough to attend a beautiful, lovely elite boarding school, 227 00:11:39,815 --> 00:11:42,289 very much like Hogwarts, to give you a visual. 228 00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:45,605 And almost as magical. I feel very lucky. 229 00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:51,891 Where'd you get that? 230 00:11:51,935 --> 00:11:53,498 We've got a really good research team, 231 00:11:53,534 --> 00:11:55,336 and when I look at that picture, I don't think "elite." 232 00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:57,015 Can we talk about this for a second? 233 00:11:58,174 --> 00:12:00,178 - This interview is over. - Where are you going? 234 00:12:00,214 --> 00:12:01,690 I was not trying to upset you, Michelle. 235 00:12:01,774 --> 00:12:03,174 - Why are you leaving? - You know what, Gayle? 236 00:12:03,254 --> 00:12:05,968 Nobody spells "Gayle" with a "Y." It's pretentious. 237 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:07,772 You've got a great story to tell. 238 00:12:07,854 --> 00:12:09,139 Keeping the mic! 239 00:12:10,014 --> 00:12:12,526 Gayle King ambushed me. You get that segment pulled before it airs. 240 00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:13,649 Miss Darnell, you're under arrest 241 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:16,045 for insider trading and defrauding the Securities Exchange Commission. 242 00:12:16,894 --> 00:12:18,016 Are you kidding me? 243 00:12:18,094 --> 00:12:19,254 Would I kid you? 244 00:12:19,293 --> 00:12:20,693 - Claire, call my lawyer. - Okay. 245 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:21,808 Stay back. 246 00:12:21,854 --> 00:12:23,733 What do you make a year? I'll double it. 247 00:12:23,813 --> 00:12:24,973 Did you just try to bribe me? 248 00:12:25,014 --> 00:12:27,334 No. I mean, unless you're tempted... 249 00:12:28,053 --> 00:12:29,692 Hey! This is... 250 00:12:29,773 --> 00:12:31,930 This is not reasonable. Claire! 251 00:12:32,013 --> 00:12:33,288 - Don't fight it, Michelle! - Let me go! 252 00:12:33,693 --> 00:12:34,930 Ooh. Don't struggle, baby! 253 00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:38,050 Renault ratted me out! 254 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,971 It's just insider trading! Everybody does it! 255 00:12:41,013 --> 00:12:42,777 You are fighting with the wrong redhead! 256 00:12:45,253 --> 00:12:46,931 Yeah. I'm out. 257 00:12:46,972 --> 00:12:49,407 I'mma get my job back at Best Buy. Boom! 258 00:12:50,173 --> 00:12:51,534 God, you're the worst. 259 00:12:51,973 --> 00:12:52,970 In breaking news... 260 00:12:53,292 --> 00:12:56,370 Michelle Darnell was sentenced to five months in federal prison 261 00:12:56,452 --> 00:12:57,813 for insider trading. 262 00:12:57,852 --> 00:12:59,894 Currently, Darnell Enterprise stocks... 263 00:12:59,973 --> 00:13:02,130 I told you you'd regret it. 264 00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:04,408 You can really hold onto a grudge. 265 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,132 I can't believe you two used to date. 266 00:13:06,172 --> 00:13:07,409 Ah. It was the Go-Go Nineties. 267 00:13:07,492 --> 00:13:09,611 She was my yin, I was her yang. 268 00:13:09,972 --> 00:13:14,134 Our bodies were intertwined, but our spirits were in constant opposition. 269 00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:15,247 Dynamic. 270 00:13:20,852 --> 00:13:21,897 I got this promotion locked! 271 00:13:22,012 --> 00:13:23,095 Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 272 00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:24,370 Don't worry. Once I become senior VP, 273 00:13:24,452 --> 00:13:25,765 nothing's gonna change between us. 274 00:13:25,812 --> 00:13:28,660 It better not. You look so fucking rad when you do coke. 275 00:13:29,371 --> 00:13:31,365 Hey, guys! Guys! 276 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,494 What? 277 00:13:32,531 --> 00:13:34,372 They're about to announce who gets the promotion. 278 00:13:34,451 --> 00:13:35,573 Pretty exciting, huh? 279 00:13:35,612 --> 00:13:36,973 Fuck off, Bryce! 280 00:13:37,491 --> 00:13:39,092 All right, listen up, everybody. 281 00:13:39,131 --> 00:13:40,377 I'd like you all to join me 282 00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:45,649 in offering a hearty congratulations to our newest senior VP. 283 00:13:46,531 --> 00:13:47,969 Michelle Darnell! 284 00:13:48,691 --> 00:13:49,774 Oh, my... 285 00:13:49,811 --> 00:13:51,374 - What? - Oh, my God. 286 00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:54,015 I totally... 287 00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:56,336 Fuck off if you think that you can take 288 00:13:56,371 --> 00:13:57,972 my client list and I wasn't gonna notice. 289 00:13:58,010 --> 00:13:59,007 You bitch. 290 00:13:59,091 --> 00:14:01,766 Oh, thank you! That's so supportive, Ron. 291 00:14:01,811 --> 00:14:03,489 I couldn't have done it without you. 292 00:14:03,891 --> 00:14:05,329 Ron! Coffee! 293 00:14:05,371 --> 00:14:08,017 "Ron" is gone. 294 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,328 End of broadcast. 295 00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:16,050 It's bullshit, Marty. 296 00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,489 I take one little tip from an insider 297 00:14:18,571 --> 00:14:20,805 and I find myself in an absolute hellhole. 298 00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:24,053 I mean, look at me, fighting for my life in the yard. 299 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,520 Well, the news gets worse. 300 00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:27,892 - All your accounts have been frozen. - What? 301 00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:30,126 Your shareholders have all sold off. 302 00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,930 Renault is orchestrating a hostile takeover of your entire holding company. 303 00:14:33,970 --> 00:14:35,849 - No. - Darnell Enterprises is bankrupt. 304 00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:38,450 - Can he do that? - Turn off the machine, Don. 305 00:14:38,489 --> 00:14:39,649 No, he cannot. 306 00:14:39,729 --> 00:14:42,289 Yes, he can. He actually did it beautifully. 307 00:14:47,409 --> 00:14:49,163 That's my Adam's apple, you bitch! 308 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,043 Claire, get me a new lawyer. 309 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,087 There's not gonna be another lawyer 310 00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:53,253 if you don't have any money, 311 00:14:53,329 --> 00:14:54,575 you stupid ginger! 312 00:14:55,330 --> 00:14:57,928 You know what? I'm a ginger, but I'm a natural redhead. 313 00:14:57,969 --> 00:14:59,407 Not that you're ever gonna find out. 314 00:14:59,489 --> 00:15:02,039 Because you will never be invited into my basement. 315 00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:03,730 I don't wanna see your basement! 316 00:15:03,809 --> 00:15:04,768 Yes, you do! 317 00:15:04,849 --> 00:15:06,613 And by the way, Claire works for me. 318 00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:07,734 Actually, Michelle, 319 00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:10,606 I can't work for you anymore. I got a new job. 320 00:15:10,689 --> 00:15:12,376 I just came to tell you as a courtesy. 321 00:15:12,729 --> 00:15:14,445 I would think a courtesy would be 322 00:15:14,529 --> 00:15:16,686 you sticking with me through my tough times, Claire. 323 00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:18,773 I would. You know I have a kid to think about, so... 324 00:15:18,849 --> 00:15:20,172 You have a kid? 325 00:15:21,489 --> 00:15:23,857 I can't tell if you're joking because I did tell you 326 00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:25,806 - that I do have a kid. And I... - I am. 327 00:15:25,848 --> 00:15:26,807 - Remember? - Yes. 328 00:15:26,889 --> 00:15:29,161 - You do? - I am. I'm joking. I gotcha. 329 00:15:29,248 --> 00:15:30,446 - Okay. - Zinger. 330 00:15:33,569 --> 00:15:36,685 Hello, gal. I wasn't into you but I was flattered. 331 00:15:37,528 --> 00:15:40,683 Okay, here we go. Tom, do you mind grabbing that bag for me? 332 00:15:41,328 --> 00:15:43,006 Kimberly, I thought you had today off. 333 00:15:43,088 --> 00:15:44,085 Yeah, I knew you were leaving. 334 00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:45,329 You're sweet, Kimberly. 335 00:15:45,408 --> 00:15:46,999 Now, you're gonna remember what I told you? 336 00:15:47,088 --> 00:15:48,047 - Yes. - Okay? 337 00:15:48,088 --> 00:15:49,449 Stocks are gonna go up and down. 338 00:15:49,488 --> 00:15:51,127 The big money's in the long game. 339 00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:53,490 - Thank you so much, Michelle. - Thank you, Tom. You're so sweet. 340 00:15:54,448 --> 00:15:55,886 We're actually gonna miss you around here. 341 00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:58,604 Well, I would hope so! It sounds right to me. 342 00:15:58,688 --> 00:16:00,769 All right, give me my freedom. 343 00:16:07,807 --> 00:16:10,290 Yep, the air is sweeter out here. 344 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:14,322 Did you set up a ride? 345 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,399 No, I was assuming that a town car or something would be provided. 346 00:16:17,488 --> 00:16:19,041 Lock it up, Danny. 347 00:16:20,207 --> 00:16:22,288 You know, she thought a town car was coming! 348 00:16:23,207 --> 00:16:24,808 Well, could you call a cab? 349 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,847 I'll get one myself. 350 00:16:33,407 --> 00:16:36,888 Okay, this is my house right up here. This is good. 351 00:17:28,926 --> 00:17:30,086 Oh, come on! 352 00:17:31,966 --> 00:17:32,925 Hey! 353 00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:35,639 Can you please stop ringing the door? 354 00:17:35,725 --> 00:17:38,323 Hi. Does Claire Rawlings live here? 355 00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:39,411 I don't know. 356 00:17:40,005 --> 00:17:42,009 You don't know because you're not very bright, or... 357 00:17:42,285 --> 00:17:45,286 I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. 358 00:17:45,485 --> 00:17:47,316 You know what? Are you Claire's daughter? 359 00:17:47,405 --> 00:17:49,121 I thought you were in jail. 360 00:17:49,925 --> 00:17:53,933 Aren't you charming for yelling that out on the street like that. 361 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:55,885 May I? 362 00:17:55,965 --> 00:17:57,010 No way. 363 00:17:57,445 --> 00:17:58,605 Why not? 364 00:17:58,685 --> 00:18:01,485 Because Mom's at work and you're fresh out of prison. 365 00:18:02,444 --> 00:18:05,004 Okay, white-collar crime doesn't count! 366 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,407 Yes, it does! 367 00:18:06,444 --> 00:18:08,525 No, it does not. It does not. 368 00:18:19,324 --> 00:18:20,446 - Hi. - Hi. 369 00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:23,725 Whoa. 370 00:18:23,963 --> 00:18:26,044 Claire. Wow. 371 00:18:26,244 --> 00:18:27,203 Hi, Dana. 372 00:18:27,244 --> 00:18:30,159 My goodness, you are so late. 373 00:18:30,244 --> 00:18:31,203 I am? 374 00:18:31,884 --> 00:18:34,358 You're right. You're absolutely right, Dana. 375 00:18:34,443 --> 00:18:36,082 I'm three minutes late. 376 00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:38,762 Hey, do you work at the excuse factory? 377 00:18:39,404 --> 00:18:41,801 I wasn't making an excuse. I was just agreeing that I was a little... 378 00:18:41,884 --> 00:18:43,245 Well, I think that you're saying 379 00:18:43,284 --> 00:18:45,326 this is an excuse factory, right? 380 00:18:45,363 --> 00:18:46,763 Hey! Yo, Dana! Hey, hey, hey. 381 00:18:46,803 --> 00:18:48,327 So, hey, I wanted to tell you. 382 00:18:48,364 --> 00:18:50,166 There is a bunch of people gathered in the break room... 383 00:18:50,243 --> 00:18:51,202 What, why? 384 00:18:51,244 --> 00:18:52,931 ...just raving about your fourth-quarter review. 385 00:18:53,003 --> 00:18:54,163 Who is? What? 386 00:18:54,443 --> 00:18:55,565 That's why I was late. 387 00:18:55,603 --> 00:18:59,247 Because we were all up there, you know, trading our favorite Dana stories. 388 00:18:59,323 --> 00:19:01,039 So it was... It's positive... 389 00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:02,436 It's good buzz? There's a lot of good buzz? 390 00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:04,200 Buzzworthy. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, they're raving. 391 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,285 - I have to go get coffee. - Yeah, you do. 392 00:19:06,762 --> 00:19:08,353 She's a nightmare. She's a tool. 393 00:19:08,442 --> 00:19:09,803 She's so many things. 394 00:19:09,843 --> 00:19:11,722 She is definitely a lot of things. 395 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:12,963 Uh... 396 00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:15,519 Look at this, look at this! We have so much in common, me and you. 397 00:19:15,562 --> 00:19:16,847 We have a good banter here, right? 398 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:17,881 A little back and forth. 399 00:19:17,963 --> 00:19:19,363 I think maybe we should 400 00:19:19,402 --> 00:19:21,233 try and keep this little banter wagon going, right? 401 00:19:21,322 --> 00:19:22,444 Maybe we can go hang out... 402 00:19:22,482 --> 00:19:25,838 We can dish about the boss, and gossip about stuff and... 403 00:19:26,363 --> 00:19:28,165 You know, probably do it over dinner or something, 404 00:19:28,202 --> 00:19:30,120 'cause all that dishing can be exhausting. 405 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,603 Work up an appetite. 406 00:19:31,682 --> 00:19:34,443 Yeah, well, I'm... First of all, I'm flattered. 407 00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,040 It's a little complicated for me. 408 00:19:36,122 --> 00:19:38,999 I'm a single mom and I really try to, you know, 409 00:19:39,082 --> 00:19:41,000 devote a ton of energy to my kid, 410 00:19:41,042 --> 00:19:42,125 and see her as much as possible. 411 00:19:42,202 --> 00:19:45,079 I just don't think that it's a good time. 412 00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:46,637 Yeah, cool. 413 00:19:46,722 --> 00:19:48,208 I was hoping you would say that 414 00:19:48,242 --> 00:19:50,284 because I love rejection, so... 415 00:19:50,681 --> 00:19:51,803 - Cool. - Cool. 416 00:19:51,881 --> 00:19:52,887 Sorry. 417 00:20:07,521 --> 00:20:09,323 Michelle. 418 00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:14,038 Michelle. 419 00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:18,480 - Hello. - Hi! 420 00:20:19,561 --> 00:20:21,152 Hi. Hello, Claire. 421 00:20:21,561 --> 00:20:22,606 Surprise! 422 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,196 What are you doing here? 423 00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:27,199 Oh, well, I had stopped at our old office 424 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,801 and the security gentlemen did mention 425 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,996 that you were now the curator of my estate. 426 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,484 So, I just thought I should pop over 427 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,236 and maybe pick up my things. 428 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,995 Okay, I guess you wanna come up and grab it. 429 00:20:42,081 --> 00:20:44,037 - Yes, absolutely. - Do you need... 430 00:20:44,681 --> 00:20:46,915 If you'd like, you can grab that trunk. 431 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:47,959 Oh, no. 432 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,960 Well, this is just... 433 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,119 This is... 434 00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,278 This can't be all of it. 435 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,114 I mean, this isn't all of it. This is... 436 00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:03,403 Where are my things? 437 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:07,476 My paintings, or, I mean, my Degas, my rugs, my... 438 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,606 - Where are my things? - I'm really sorry, Michelle. 439 00:21:10,639 --> 00:21:12,317 They seized everything. 440 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:13,597 This is what's left. 441 00:21:22,759 --> 00:21:25,319 Martha Stewart got everything back. 442 00:21:25,399 --> 00:21:27,873 I mean, they rallied around her. They loved her more. 443 00:21:27,959 --> 00:21:31,555 Well, Michelle, know that Rachel and I are rooting for you, 444 00:21:31,639 --> 00:21:34,563 and, if you need us, you can always call 445 00:21:34,679 --> 00:21:37,603 or send a letter here, or just a quick text. 446 00:21:37,959 --> 00:21:39,560 Um, do you want me to help you out with this? 447 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,756 If she doesn't have anywhere to go, she should stay here. 448 00:21:43,838 --> 00:21:47,232 Honey, she knows plenty of people. She has plenty of places to stay. 449 00:21:47,759 --> 00:21:49,840 Tito won't return any of my calls. 450 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:51,720 My sweet Tito. 451 00:21:52,598 --> 00:21:54,074 Fucking Tito. 452 00:21:55,358 --> 00:21:57,630 Mom, we can't let her sleep on the street. 453 00:21:57,958 --> 00:21:59,837 Do you really not have anywhere to go? 454 00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:01,833 No. I don't. 455 00:22:01,918 --> 00:22:03,711 Okay, you can stay here. 456 00:22:04,078 --> 00:22:06,437 But for a very limited amount of time. Okay? 457 00:22:06,478 --> 00:22:07,878 - Yes. - Just until you get back on your feet. 458 00:22:07,958 --> 00:22:08,917 - All right? - Yes. 459 00:22:08,998 --> 00:22:10,359 It's a small space. You know. 460 00:22:10,438 --> 00:22:12,279 It's tight sometimes for Rachel and I, so... 461 00:22:12,357 --> 00:22:15,157 It is really small, it's like... It's freaky small. 462 00:22:15,237 --> 00:22:17,356 Well, but you're welcome, here. 463 00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:20,035 If you need to crash, you can have the couch. 464 00:22:20,118 --> 00:22:21,959 - Yes. We'll draw straws. - Okay. 465 00:22:22,038 --> 00:22:24,032 It'll be a fun kind of roommate... 466 00:22:24,118 --> 00:22:25,115 It's not a negotiation. 467 00:22:25,237 --> 00:22:26,282 ...stuff. Okay. 468 00:22:28,117 --> 00:22:29,076 Ha. 469 00:22:29,318 --> 00:22:32,319 A bed inside a sofa. That's neat. 470 00:22:32,357 --> 00:22:34,754 Well, it's old, but it's comfortable, so... 471 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,471 Thank you, Claire. 472 00:22:36,917 --> 00:22:38,000 Good night, Michelle. 473 00:22:42,837 --> 00:22:43,834 It's... 474 00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:46,603 Well... 475 00:22:48,997 --> 00:22:49,956 This isn't so... 476 00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,720 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 477 00:22:59,516 --> 00:23:00,551 Claire! 478 00:23:01,716 --> 00:23:04,199 I think I've shattered my pelvis. 479 00:23:16,276 --> 00:23:18,241 Oh, Michelle! Oh, my God. 480 00:23:18,276 --> 00:23:19,311 Claire! 481 00:23:19,396 --> 00:23:22,071 Michelle, why are you in my bed? 482 00:23:22,116 --> 00:23:24,197 Because your sofa threw me against a wall, 483 00:23:24,316 --> 00:23:26,397 and I've had a cellie for the last six months. 484 00:23:26,436 --> 00:23:29,150 I find it very difficult to sleep on my own. 485 00:23:29,835 --> 00:23:31,398 Wow. Okay. You're kicking up a lot of... 486 00:23:31,436 --> 00:23:32,999 Is that from... Is that me? 487 00:23:33,076 --> 00:23:34,035 I think... 488 00:23:34,115 --> 00:23:35,630 Yeah, that's me. 489 00:23:35,716 --> 00:23:37,164 You know what? I got into 490 00:23:37,235 --> 00:23:38,836 a wee bit of your Scotch last night. 491 00:23:38,915 --> 00:23:40,833 And, you know what else I tried 492 00:23:40,955 --> 00:23:42,911 that I thought was terrific, was a Dorito. 493 00:23:43,315 --> 00:23:44,475 I think it was the cheese. 494 00:23:44,515 --> 00:23:47,957 I mean not a cheese found in nature, but cheese-adjacent. 495 00:23:48,035 --> 00:23:50,432 I just thought it was wonderful. 496 00:23:50,475 --> 00:23:51,836 What a wonderful chip. 497 00:23:52,715 --> 00:23:55,870 Michelle, you can't sleep in my bed. I don't want you in here. 498 00:23:55,955 --> 00:23:57,355 You gotta get it together, Michelle. 499 00:23:57,435 --> 00:23:59,074 I am together, okay? 500 00:23:59,155 --> 00:24:01,840 This morning, I'm meeting with a bunch of old colleagues. 501 00:24:01,915 --> 00:24:04,878 I'm gonna pour this into something creamy and delicious, 502 00:24:04,954 --> 00:24:06,555 and see who takes a big sip. 503 00:24:06,594 --> 00:24:07,917 Get out, out of my bed. 504 00:24:07,994 --> 00:24:12,156 God. I see why this half of the bed maybe is empty. 505 00:24:12,195 --> 00:24:14,880 Okay? You're a real B-I-T-C-U-N-T in the morning. 506 00:24:14,915 --> 00:24:16,631 You think about that. 507 00:24:18,755 --> 00:24:20,394 Michelle, you gotta get out of the bathroom. 508 00:24:20,474 --> 00:24:23,389 I'm already late for work and Rachel's gonna be late for school. 509 00:24:23,435 --> 00:24:24,911 Well, I'm going as fast as I can. 510 00:24:24,994 --> 00:24:26,269 You're welcome to come in. 511 00:24:26,834 --> 00:24:29,269 Fine, but we gotta get on a schedule if you're gonna be here... 512 00:24:29,314 --> 00:24:30,474 Oh, my God! 513 00:24:31,194 --> 00:24:32,239 Close your robe. 514 00:24:32,354 --> 00:24:33,437 No, absolutely not! 515 00:24:33,514 --> 00:24:36,438 I'm self-tanning and my legs are still wet. 516 00:24:36,834 --> 00:24:38,521 I can see your vagina. 517 00:24:38,594 --> 00:24:41,029 Well, congratulations and you're welcome! 518 00:24:41,114 --> 00:24:43,386 You know, I had it rejuvenated in 2010. 519 00:24:43,474 --> 00:24:45,267 They call it a vaguvenation! 520 00:24:45,794 --> 00:24:48,354 You know, it's like a soft silk coin purse. 521 00:24:48,433 --> 00:24:49,948 I can barely urinate. 522 00:24:50,034 --> 00:24:51,069 Oh, my God! 523 00:24:51,154 --> 00:24:52,189 Now, do me a favor 524 00:24:52,273 --> 00:24:54,440 and tell me if I have any streaks on my hamstrings. 525 00:24:54,473 --> 00:24:55,595 Oh, God! Put it away! 526 00:24:55,794 --> 00:24:56,877 - Whoa. - Put it away. 527 00:24:57,393 --> 00:24:59,032 Hi, Raquel! 528 00:24:59,074 --> 00:25:00,157 It's Rachel! 529 00:25:00,194 --> 00:25:01,239 Go grab your backpack, honey. 530 00:25:01,313 --> 00:25:03,595 We don't need to brush our teeth today. Our teeth are fine. 531 00:25:04,353 --> 00:25:07,230 You need to wipe some of that off your face. You know it dries darker? 532 00:25:07,313 --> 00:25:08,828 - No, does it? - Yes. 533 00:25:08,913 --> 00:25:10,677 But that's not what the bottle says. 534 00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:15,224 Oh, it's okay. It's coming off like a dream on your towel. 535 00:25:15,273 --> 00:25:16,385 You need to clean up the bathroom. 536 00:25:16,873 --> 00:25:20,277 And consider staying away from self-tanner altogether. 537 00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:23,114 Your pelvic region is the color of curry. 538 00:25:24,353 --> 00:25:26,194 Namaste, Claire. Thank you. 539 00:25:26,273 --> 00:25:27,385 It's not a compliment. 540 00:25:27,512 --> 00:25:28,471 Oh. 541 00:25:33,272 --> 00:25:35,113 All right, here's a little joke for everybody. 542 00:25:35,192 --> 00:25:38,030 What do golfers do on their day off? 543 00:25:38,753 --> 00:25:39,712 Putter around. 544 00:25:45,032 --> 00:25:46,825 Tom, I'm gonna crunch those numbers for you, 545 00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:48,705 but I'm going to make you pay through the teeth. 546 00:25:49,352 --> 00:25:50,512 Oh. 547 00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:51,752 Bryce Crean! 548 00:25:51,832 --> 00:25:54,747 Oh, my God! How long has it been? 549 00:25:55,072 --> 00:25:57,622 You old son of a bitch! It has been too long! 550 00:25:57,672 --> 00:25:59,791 Terri. Hello, gentlemen. Hi... 551 00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:01,349 Carl. 552 00:26:01,551 --> 00:26:02,989 Oh. Look at that beard. 553 00:26:03,071 --> 00:26:05,391 How's that old ball-and-chain Pam treatin' ya? 554 00:26:06,392 --> 00:26:08,031 Pam passed away four months ago. 555 00:26:09,312 --> 00:26:12,035 That's tough. That's tough. 556 00:26:12,111 --> 00:26:13,798 We're kind of in the middle of something here, Michelle. 557 00:26:13,871 --> 00:26:15,069 So, thank you very much. 558 00:26:15,671 --> 00:26:19,382 Word on the street, Bryce, is that you're just about to close on that Kraft deal. 559 00:26:19,472 --> 00:26:21,907 So if you want me to head up that division... 560 00:26:21,952 --> 00:26:25,797 I think I could be a pretty big asset to you on that account. 561 00:26:26,391 --> 00:26:28,989 You've got no capital and nobody likes you. 562 00:26:29,031 --> 00:26:30,747 Nobody here at this table likes you. 563 00:26:30,831 --> 00:26:33,314 - Nobody at this entire club likes you. - That's not true. 564 00:26:33,350 --> 00:26:35,306 Horrible, horrible feedback from everybody. 565 00:26:35,631 --> 00:26:38,747 So, thank you for the groveling. Good bye! 566 00:26:40,831 --> 00:26:42,029 Fuck off, Bryce. 567 00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:43,799 Yeah. You know what? 568 00:26:44,391 --> 00:26:45,628 You wouldn't even be here 569 00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:47,829 if I hadn't brought you in as a junior executive. 570 00:26:47,871 --> 00:26:50,431 And, Terri, you think anybody else would've hired you right out of college? 571 00:26:50,471 --> 00:26:52,273 No! I don't who the fuck you three are. 572 00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:53,309 But I'll guess this. 573 00:26:53,390 --> 00:26:55,384 I bet you got here climbing on my back somehow. 574 00:26:55,430 --> 00:26:57,309 Carl, I gave you that Landis account. 575 00:26:57,390 --> 00:27:01,465 I handed you your career and I'm the one that made Pam a sales rep! 576 00:27:01,510 --> 00:27:02,593 Pam is dead. 577 00:27:02,670 --> 00:27:04,031 Pam was a whore! 578 00:27:04,110 --> 00:27:06,593 She fucked her way through the whole IT department. 579 00:27:06,670 --> 00:27:08,712 And Terri knows it, 'cause you were in on it, too! 580 00:27:09,030 --> 00:27:10,430 - Yeah! - The tech guys? 581 00:27:10,510 --> 00:27:11,986 You think Pam did all the tech guys? 582 00:27:12,029 --> 00:27:15,510 The lowest, weirdest, saddest guys! 583 00:27:15,589 --> 00:27:16,835 That's who Pam fucked! 584 00:27:16,910 --> 00:27:18,348 Go to hell, Michelle! Go to hell! 585 00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:21,144 When I get to hell, I'll tell Pam that you said hello, 586 00:27:21,190 --> 00:27:23,232 'cause she's probably down there fucking IT guys. 587 00:27:23,270 --> 00:27:27,393 Weird little guys, carrying wires around in weird hats. 588 00:27:27,429 --> 00:27:28,905 That's who she's fucking in hell. 589 00:27:28,990 --> 00:27:29,949 Yeah. 590 00:27:30,189 --> 00:27:31,349 I don't need you. 591 00:27:31,389 --> 00:27:33,949 I don't need you and you're gonna be sorry. 592 00:27:33,989 --> 00:27:36,913 'Cause I got a sweet deal for you and you're letting it walk out. 593 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,386 You know, you want to be dumbasses? Be my guest. 594 00:27:39,429 --> 00:27:41,510 I'll tell you what, you're gonna regret this. 595 00:27:42,029 --> 00:27:43,112 Yow! 596 00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:46,794 Yow! Son of a bitch! 597 00:27:48,669 --> 00:27:50,270 - Holy shit! - Son of a bitch! 598 00:27:50,349 --> 00:27:51,710 How'd she survive that? 599 00:27:51,789 --> 00:27:53,390 'Cause she's horrible. 600 00:27:53,468 --> 00:27:54,513 Let's go. 601 00:27:54,588 --> 00:27:56,026 Mother of shite! 602 00:27:57,468 --> 00:27:58,868 I dinged my pelvis again. 603 00:28:05,749 --> 00:28:06,708 Ah. 604 00:28:08,348 --> 00:28:09,709 - Tell me everything. - Okay. 605 00:28:09,788 --> 00:28:13,863 So, right off the top, Bryce ordered a Nicoise salad 606 00:28:13,948 --> 00:28:16,268 but he asked for the tuna to be really well done. 607 00:28:16,349 --> 00:28:18,593 But if it's a quality piece of tuna, you don't wanna have it... 608 00:28:18,628 --> 00:28:20,507 - Not relevant. - Okay, right. 609 00:28:21,588 --> 00:28:23,908 Bryce did everything you asked him to do. 610 00:28:23,988 --> 00:28:25,062 Michelle came in. She was like, 611 00:28:25,147 --> 00:28:26,221 "I wanna be in a business." 612 00:28:26,268 --> 00:28:27,831 And he was like, "No dice." 613 00:28:27,868 --> 00:28:30,428 And then, she fell down a flight of stairs. 614 00:28:30,468 --> 00:28:32,472 Did she hurt her wonderful body? 615 00:28:32,508 --> 00:28:34,310 I have a video of it. Do you wanna see? 616 00:28:36,508 --> 00:28:37,467 I'll tell you what. 617 00:28:37,868 --> 00:28:38,990 - Oh, look at her. - Mmm-hmm. 618 00:28:39,788 --> 00:28:40,871 Oh. 619 00:28:44,428 --> 00:28:45,866 Oh. 620 00:28:47,868 --> 00:28:49,421 So you see the normal intestine. 621 00:28:49,787 --> 00:28:52,788 Now, notice the difference between that intestine and this intestine. 622 00:28:52,828 --> 00:28:55,868 I'm getting light-headed. Is there any of that brownie left? 623 00:28:55,907 --> 00:28:57,709 - Yeah. - I feel like my blood sugar's dropping. 624 00:28:57,787 --> 00:29:00,625 I should probably pop it with a little sugar. 625 00:29:02,306 --> 00:29:05,470 Holy shit! That is a good brownie. 626 00:29:05,507 --> 00:29:06,466 Language. 627 00:29:06,547 --> 00:29:08,349 Well, I'm sorry, you give me a holy-shit brownie. 628 00:29:08,387 --> 00:29:09,547 I'm gonna say, "Holy shit!" 629 00:29:09,627 --> 00:29:13,386 'Cause holy shit, this is a good brownie. 630 00:29:13,466 --> 00:29:15,700 I can't believe... Your mom makes these, right? 631 00:29:15,746 --> 00:29:17,587 Yeah, it's a family recipe. 632 00:29:17,946 --> 00:29:18,981 Hi! 633 00:29:20,706 --> 00:29:23,467 I'm pretty sure Michelle has diverticulitis. 634 00:29:23,547 --> 00:29:24,822 - What? - I got it. 635 00:29:25,626 --> 00:29:27,380 I think it's pretty advanced, Claire. 636 00:29:27,426 --> 00:29:28,663 Who said that? 637 00:29:28,706 --> 00:29:29,703 Doctor Oz. 638 00:29:29,786 --> 00:29:30,898 Look. 639 00:29:31,026 --> 00:29:32,148 Oh, my God! 640 00:29:32,186 --> 00:29:33,749 There's my colon again. 641 00:29:33,786 --> 00:29:36,500 Okay, you need to get off the couch 642 00:29:36,546 --> 00:29:38,828 because you've been laying down for about three weeks. 643 00:29:38,906 --> 00:29:41,265 And, also, you have to start pulling your weight around here. 644 00:29:41,306 --> 00:29:42,428 We can start tonight. 645 00:29:42,466 --> 00:29:44,499 You can take Rachel to her Dandelions meeting. 646 00:29:44,586 --> 00:29:46,427 - What? - Why aren't you taking me? 647 00:29:46,505 --> 00:29:47,464 Sweetie, I can't. 648 00:29:47,546 --> 00:29:51,631 My boss, who is a massive fan of yours, by the way, 649 00:29:51,705 --> 00:29:53,862 has decided I need to go back in for the evening. 650 00:29:53,946 --> 00:29:54,905 Okay? 651 00:29:54,985 --> 00:29:58,744 Let's go! The most important part of the plan being "get off the couch." 652 00:30:01,225 --> 00:30:03,699 I don't think I like sassy Claire. 653 00:30:05,786 --> 00:30:08,432 All right. I want you to give me the lowdown on this meeting. 654 00:30:08,505 --> 00:30:10,509 What are my opportunities? What are my pitfalls? 655 00:30:10,585 --> 00:30:11,822 What do you mean? 656 00:30:11,905 --> 00:30:14,024 Well, I want to know what I'm walking into. 657 00:30:14,185 --> 00:30:16,064 Oh, everyone's pretty nice. 658 00:30:17,185 --> 00:30:21,749 I forgot how many people ride the "L." It's kind of fascinating. 659 00:30:21,785 --> 00:30:25,544 Some people depend on this. Like, they don't have a car. 660 00:30:26,185 --> 00:30:27,191 Well, I know that. 661 00:30:28,545 --> 00:30:30,424 Roller-skating or roller-blading? 662 00:30:31,305 --> 00:30:32,350 Roller-blading. 663 00:30:32,385 --> 00:30:34,024 Honey or agave nectar? 664 00:30:34,104 --> 00:30:35,705 - Agave. - No, they're both terrible. 665 00:30:36,105 --> 00:30:37,946 Cell phone, landline? 666 00:30:37,984 --> 00:30:40,103 - What? - Oh, God. 667 00:30:40,544 --> 00:30:42,183 Do you not know what that means? 668 00:30:42,265 --> 00:30:44,144 - No. - Oh, Jesus. 669 00:30:44,745 --> 00:30:46,902 Okay, this should be interesting. 670 00:30:48,185 --> 00:30:51,426 Ladies, big news. Great news. 671 00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:56,221 Marsha Swan's tabby cat, Spaghetti, is on the mend 672 00:30:56,304 --> 00:30:59,382 and expected to make a full recovery. 673 00:30:59,424 --> 00:31:00,632 Yay, Spaghetti! 674 00:31:03,104 --> 00:31:04,187 Yay! 675 00:31:05,544 --> 00:31:08,258 My daughter, Beth, was so worried about Spaghetti. 676 00:31:08,344 --> 00:31:10,223 Thank goodness she's back on her feet. 677 00:31:10,264 --> 00:31:13,141 Funny fact about Spaghetti, she hates spaghetti. 678 00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:15,387 You seem fucking crazy to me. 679 00:31:15,464 --> 00:31:16,423 Excuse me? 680 00:31:16,503 --> 00:31:18,027 Cute as a daisy to me. 681 00:31:18,823 --> 00:31:20,942 Okay, now, not to sound too kookie, 682 00:31:20,983 --> 00:31:23,697 but let's talk "cookie" sales, that is. 683 00:31:26,903 --> 00:31:30,978 Okay, so this year, we came in with $21,000. 684 00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:32,987 Pretty good job, big bucks. 685 00:31:33,023 --> 00:31:38,585 But Detroit is still in the lead for the year with $189,000. 686 00:31:39,023 --> 00:31:40,614 Can I just ask you, are these numbers 687 00:31:40,742 --> 00:31:42,343 you're talking about just cookie sales? 688 00:31:42,423 --> 00:31:45,261 And, if so, how many troupes are we talking about here? 689 00:31:45,702 --> 00:31:50,746 There are 3.2 million Dandelions all over the world 690 00:31:50,782 --> 00:31:53,735 blown across the earth, making a difference. 691 00:31:53,782 --> 00:31:54,894 Is this global? 692 00:31:55,342 --> 00:31:58,545 Wait, I recognize you. You're Michelle Darnell. 693 00:31:58,582 --> 00:32:00,298 Please, don't make a fuss. 694 00:32:00,342 --> 00:32:01,780 Oh, I'm gonna make a fuss. 695 00:32:01,822 --> 00:32:04,545 You're a convicted felon sitting in a room full of children. 696 00:32:04,622 --> 00:32:05,782 You're a criminal. 697 00:32:05,862 --> 00:32:07,185 It was white-collar crime. 698 00:32:07,222 --> 00:32:08,823 Okay, you don't have to defend me. 699 00:32:08,862 --> 00:32:10,099 You're such a loser. 700 00:32:10,542 --> 00:32:12,105 I'm sorry, what did he say? 701 00:32:12,462 --> 00:32:13,468 What? 702 00:32:13,501 --> 00:32:14,699 - Well, I would... - Yeah. 703 00:32:14,741 --> 00:32:16,265 Excuse me. Hi. 704 00:32:16,342 --> 00:32:17,425 I gotta ask you. 705 00:32:17,462 --> 00:32:21,058 Now are we talking part-time or full-time employees here? 706 00:32:21,142 --> 00:32:23,942 Nope, just happy volunteers. 707 00:32:24,022 --> 00:32:24,981 What? 708 00:32:25,061 --> 00:32:26,825 For your information, jailbird... 709 00:32:27,302 --> 00:32:28,577 She seems great. 710 00:32:28,661 --> 00:32:30,895 The Dandelions helps girls build leadership skills. 711 00:32:30,941 --> 00:32:32,705 It looks good on their high-school transcript 712 00:32:32,781 --> 00:32:34,267 and they are bettering their community, 713 00:32:34,381 --> 00:32:35,819 which is more than I can say for you. 714 00:32:35,901 --> 00:32:37,895 A-ha. What is your name? 715 00:32:37,941 --> 00:32:39,139 Helen Kreagan. 716 00:32:39,221 --> 00:32:41,781 Oh, you know what? I think you dropped something right here. 717 00:32:41,821 --> 00:32:43,374 - You go fuck yourself. - Go fuck yourself. 718 00:32:43,861 --> 00:32:44,935 Go fuck yourself. 719 00:32:45,301 --> 00:32:46,892 I don't think you know who you're talking to. 720 00:32:46,941 --> 00:32:49,376 I think I do. And I think I want you to fuck off. 721 00:32:49,461 --> 00:32:50,467 I don't think you do. 722 00:32:52,421 --> 00:32:53,380 Oh, my gosh! 723 00:32:54,621 --> 00:32:57,785 Can we just take a minute and give congrats to Sarah, here? 724 00:32:59,340 --> 00:33:02,217 Thank you. It's Sandy. It's Sandy. 725 00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:03,861 - Or Sandy. - I like Sarah. 726 00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:05,223 Whatever, either one. 727 00:33:05,301 --> 00:33:08,341 I gotta know how much are you selling these boxes for? 728 00:33:08,780 --> 00:33:11,024 - Girls. - $7. 729 00:33:11,060 --> 00:33:12,172 $7? 730 00:33:12,660 --> 00:33:13,897 Ka-ching, right? 731 00:33:13,940 --> 00:33:17,776 I got a guy in Shanghai who can make this same box of cookies, 19 cents. 732 00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:20,094 This is an official meeting and you're interrupting it. 733 00:33:20,180 --> 00:33:21,733 Let's take a poll, show of hands. 734 00:33:21,860 --> 00:33:23,413 Who finds Helen to be a bummer? 735 00:33:25,260 --> 00:33:27,225 Lots of hands. Oh, Helen. 736 00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:28,936 Toot. 737 00:33:30,420 --> 00:33:32,021 Do something, Mom. 738 00:33:32,580 --> 00:33:35,092 I object to parolees attending our meetings 739 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:36,541 and I'd like to put that in the minutes. 740 00:33:36,980 --> 00:33:38,102 May I? 741 00:33:38,179 --> 00:33:39,617 Let me just handle this. 742 00:33:39,699 --> 00:33:41,617 Another great point by Helen. 743 00:33:41,699 --> 00:33:42,811 You know what, Helen? 744 00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:44,338 If you don't get off my fucking back, 745 00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:47,498 I'm gonna shove a box of chocolate clusters up that tight ass of yours. 746 00:33:48,899 --> 00:33:49,858 Oh. 747 00:33:50,299 --> 00:33:51,862 I would love to go to lunch. 748 00:33:51,899 --> 00:33:55,821 You're on. You got yourself a date. That sounds terrific, okay? 749 00:33:56,019 --> 00:33:57,812 Sandy, I love that kerchief. 750 00:33:57,899 --> 00:33:58,858 Was that necessary? 751 00:33:58,939 --> 00:34:00,377 - Super necessary. - Yeah. 752 00:34:14,898 --> 00:34:16,183 Michelle? 753 00:34:16,538 --> 00:34:17,621 - Hi! - What are you doing? 754 00:34:17,698 --> 00:34:18,896 What is all this? 755 00:34:18,938 --> 00:34:20,414 This is my way back, m'kay? 756 00:34:20,499 --> 00:34:22,781 You are looking at Darnell 2.0. 757 00:34:22,858 --> 00:34:24,459 I wondered when you were getting up. 758 00:34:24,658 --> 00:34:26,259 Have you not gone to bed yet? 759 00:34:26,338 --> 00:34:28,016 No, I have been up and percolating 760 00:34:28,098 --> 00:34:29,852 since 11:00 p.m. last night. 761 00:34:29,938 --> 00:34:31,817 - Just great stuff, Claire! - Okay. 762 00:34:31,858 --> 00:34:32,980 You're having a breakdown. 763 00:34:33,018 --> 00:34:36,374 No, no, no! I'm having a breakthrough, because of you. 764 00:34:36,458 --> 00:34:38,184 Sit down, I gotta show you this. 765 00:34:38,258 --> 00:34:42,583 Let me introduce you to my new golden goose... 766 00:34:44,338 --> 00:34:46,582 Darnell's Darlings. 767 00:34:46,658 --> 00:34:47,780 Rough sketches. 768 00:34:47,858 --> 00:34:49,334 So, I know. Those will be perfected. 769 00:34:49,418 --> 00:34:51,853 But, really, tell me, what's your initial thoughts? 770 00:34:53,297 --> 00:34:54,984 - Stalin. - Okay. 771 00:34:55,058 --> 00:34:56,736 - Communist youth. - All right! 772 00:34:57,137 --> 00:34:59,697 Japanese-y black power? 773 00:34:59,777 --> 00:35:02,212 My takeaway from that is "powerful." 774 00:35:02,577 --> 00:35:05,099 Powerful imagery and I'll take that any day of the week. 775 00:35:06,257 --> 00:35:07,254 Why are you up? 776 00:35:07,377 --> 00:35:09,582 Sit down, sleepyhead. Let's wake it up. 777 00:35:10,817 --> 00:35:12,936 Claire, we're gonna start a brownie company. 778 00:35:12,977 --> 00:35:15,662 No, we're gonna start a brownie empire. 779 00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:18,132 Okay? And we're gonna call it Darnell's Darlings. 780 00:35:18,577 --> 00:35:21,501 Illinois alone has 25,000 Dandelions. 781 00:35:21,577 --> 00:35:26,256 They're pulling in, in one year, $32,500,000. 782 00:35:26,577 --> 00:35:28,379 This is a global company. 783 00:35:28,456 --> 00:35:30,891 The Dandelions are making a billion dollars a year. 784 00:35:31,257 --> 00:35:34,258 Is that going in your pocket? Helen's probably pocketing it. 785 00:35:34,336 --> 00:35:38,009 I mean, that horrible bitch would take teeth right out of a kid. Am I wrong? 786 00:35:38,257 --> 00:35:41,460 If she could sell teeth, she'd rip kids' teeth out. 787 00:35:42,016 --> 00:35:44,423 I'm gonna let it go, but Helen's horrible. 788 00:35:44,496 --> 00:35:46,298 The Dandelions are a non-profit, Michelle. 789 00:35:46,376 --> 00:35:48,418 That money goes back into great programs for the girls. 790 00:35:48,496 --> 00:35:50,260 Oh, great programs? That's interesting. 791 00:35:50,336 --> 00:35:52,330 Rachel, do me a favor. 792 00:35:52,376 --> 00:35:55,732 Tell your mom what was the last "great program" you completed. 793 00:35:55,936 --> 00:35:57,451 Go ahead, go ahead. 794 00:35:57,536 --> 00:36:00,489 Scout leader Sandy gave me a "Social Butterfly" badge. 795 00:36:00,536 --> 00:36:01,686 That's great! 796 00:36:02,015 --> 00:36:04,134 Tell her what a "Social Butterfly" badge is. 797 00:36:04,176 --> 00:36:08,501 I had to hold a conversation with a new person for 30 minutes... 798 00:36:08,936 --> 00:36:10,096 - Okay. - ...and demonstrate 799 00:36:10,135 --> 00:36:11,611 how to be a good hostess. 800 00:36:12,335 --> 00:36:15,096 Next week, I'm thinking maybe they'll arrange marriages. 801 00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:17,254 I'll tell you what, I'm gonna design 802 00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:19,254 a special new badge for the Dandelions. 803 00:36:19,335 --> 00:36:22,096 It's gonna be a real big one, so no one misses it. 804 00:36:22,135 --> 00:36:23,851 And I'm gonna make it a picture of a woman. 805 00:36:23,895 --> 00:36:27,702 A real sad woman with apron strings on, bent over in front of an oven. 806 00:36:27,775 --> 00:36:30,978 And it's gonna say, "You know why we like vaginas better than your mouth? 807 00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:33,136 "Because they don't have teeth and they don't talk." 808 00:36:33,375 --> 00:36:35,657 And you could turn that badge over and you're gonna realize 809 00:36:35,695 --> 00:36:38,015 that there's a man in the oven and she's giving him a blowjob. 810 00:36:38,455 --> 00:36:39,500 Good luck earning that! 811 00:36:39,535 --> 00:36:40,657 Michelle! 812 00:36:40,895 --> 00:36:42,534 I heard everything anyways. 813 00:36:42,894 --> 00:36:44,859 These girls are gonna earn some real money 814 00:36:44,935 --> 00:36:46,699 that can go towards a college fund, 815 00:36:47,054 --> 00:36:50,573 give them empowerment, give them a good sense of self. 816 00:36:50,614 --> 00:36:52,455 I find that exciting, Claire. 817 00:36:52,894 --> 00:36:54,735 It's a nice idea, Michelle, 818 00:36:54,814 --> 00:36:57,614 but it's also a crazy one. 819 00:36:57,654 --> 00:36:59,543 Claire, I want you to listen to me. 820 00:37:01,774 --> 00:37:03,931 You have an amazing product. 821 00:37:04,014 --> 00:37:06,651 - You make a mind-blowing brownie. - Okay. 822 00:37:06,734 --> 00:37:10,694 And I can sell anything I believe in, and I believe in your product. 823 00:37:11,054 --> 00:37:14,295 We can be partners. Not my assistant. Fifty-fifty. 824 00:37:14,614 --> 00:37:17,136 That's how much I believe in this. What do you say? 825 00:37:18,774 --> 00:37:20,452 I have to keep my job, Michelle. 826 00:37:20,574 --> 00:37:22,261 This is... It's just too risky. 827 00:37:23,014 --> 00:37:24,452 Come on. 828 00:37:24,974 --> 00:37:26,892 You don't even like your job, Mom. 829 00:37:27,733 --> 00:37:29,612 Oh, that was beautiful timing. 830 00:37:29,653 --> 00:37:30,775 I didn't even set that up. 831 00:37:31,534 --> 00:37:33,615 You know what, Claire? Keep your terrible job. 832 00:37:33,653 --> 00:37:35,379 Do this on the side. 833 00:37:36,013 --> 00:37:38,611 Okay? Plus, it's gonna get me off your couch. 834 00:37:38,694 --> 00:37:39,691 I'm in. 835 00:37:40,173 --> 00:37:41,132 - You're in? - Mmm-hmm. 836 00:37:41,613 --> 00:37:42,658 Let's do it, people! 837 00:37:42,733 --> 00:37:44,651 Okay, Rachel, you go get dressed. 838 00:37:44,693 --> 00:37:46,898 I'm gonna take you to school. We're gonna get some new recruits! 839 00:37:46,973 --> 00:37:49,293 It's 4:00 a.m. I'm going back to bed. 840 00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:50,416 Night, sweetie. 841 00:37:50,493 --> 00:37:51,691 What? Okay, you know what? 842 00:37:51,773 --> 00:37:53,767 You get your rest, you're gonna need it! 843 00:37:53,812 --> 00:37:56,295 We gotta recruit some Darnell Darlings today! 844 00:37:56,333 --> 00:37:58,097 Claire, my quarterback, 845 00:37:58,173 --> 00:37:59,851 I need you to bust ass into that kitchen 846 00:37:59,933 --> 00:38:02,416 and start making pan after pan after pan of brownies, 847 00:38:02,492 --> 00:38:04,611 'cause that's how fast I'm gonna sell 'em, okay? 848 00:38:04,652 --> 00:38:06,406 - Right now? - Right now! All right? 849 00:38:06,492 --> 00:38:08,419 I may have tried to preheat that oven, 850 00:38:08,532 --> 00:38:10,450 so I think there's a little bit of a gas leak. 851 00:38:10,532 --> 00:38:11,845 - Huh? - If you think about it, it may be 852 00:38:12,013 --> 00:38:13,336 why you guys are feeling a little logy. 853 00:38:13,452 --> 00:38:16,492 Hey, Rach, you know what? Don't go to sleep! Don't go to sleep! 854 00:38:16,572 --> 00:38:17,531 Oh, my God! 855 00:38:18,412 --> 00:38:20,416 Okay. We may have to walk her. 856 00:38:23,812 --> 00:38:25,058 Ah. You know what? 857 00:38:25,132 --> 00:38:28,009 It feels good to kind of put the shine and polish back on again. 858 00:38:28,651 --> 00:38:30,895 People say it doesn't matter, but it does. 859 00:38:30,932 --> 00:38:33,607 Puts a little kick in your step. 860 00:38:35,931 --> 00:38:37,369 Who is that beast? 861 00:38:37,812 --> 00:38:39,777 That's Chrystal Delveccio. 862 00:38:39,852 --> 00:38:41,933 She's always getting into fist fights. 863 00:38:42,452 --> 00:38:44,331 - Later, Dad. - That's perfect. 864 00:38:44,652 --> 00:38:46,579 That is exactly the kind of gal we want to recruit. 865 00:38:46,651 --> 00:38:48,127 You know what? Another little tip. 866 00:38:48,171 --> 00:38:50,683 Look for girls that are named after precious stones. 867 00:38:50,731 --> 00:38:53,377 Topaz, Sapphire, Opal, Amber. 868 00:38:53,651 --> 00:38:54,773 They're all gonna spiral down. 869 00:38:54,851 --> 00:38:57,449 We want to get 'em when they're angry and fresh going in. 870 00:38:57,531 --> 00:38:59,736 Why don't you check out Chrystal's availability? 871 00:39:00,051 --> 00:39:01,010 Got it. 872 00:39:04,211 --> 00:39:06,090 My mom never lets me drink coffee. 873 00:39:06,171 --> 00:39:08,098 Really, why? 874 00:39:08,531 --> 00:39:10,055 She says it'll stunt your growth. 875 00:39:10,090 --> 00:39:11,729 That's not true. That's crazy. 876 00:39:12,051 --> 00:39:14,055 What, do you wanna be freakishly tall? 877 00:39:16,250 --> 00:39:18,695 All right. Get in there, drum up some good recruits. 878 00:39:19,371 --> 00:39:21,289 I feel kind of sweaty and scared. 879 00:39:21,370 --> 00:39:23,172 That's just the coffee kickin' in. It's good for... 880 00:39:23,211 --> 00:39:25,934 Oh, you know what? Wait a minute, let me see something. 881 00:39:27,530 --> 00:39:28,968 Oh, I may have switched them. 882 00:39:29,010 --> 00:39:31,369 This one's yours. I put a little splash of bourbon in mine. 883 00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:32,572 That's okay. 884 00:39:33,370 --> 00:39:34,568 It's kind of a secret weapon. 885 00:39:35,090 --> 00:39:36,653 It's what makes the Irish so mean. 886 00:39:36,770 --> 00:39:38,294 And I can say that 'cause I'm Scottish! 887 00:39:39,050 --> 00:39:40,172 Go get 'em! 888 00:39:41,650 --> 00:39:45,044 And so, due to some unforeseen complications, 889 00:39:45,130 --> 00:39:46,884 and just, um... 890 00:39:47,330 --> 00:39:48,490 Giving up... 891 00:39:48,570 --> 00:39:50,574 Spaghetti passed away last night. 892 00:39:50,649 --> 00:39:52,173 Listen up, motherfuckers! 893 00:39:52,209 --> 00:39:53,206 Michelle, language! 894 00:39:53,289 --> 00:39:54,641 Who here wants to hear about 895 00:39:54,730 --> 00:39:56,724 an un-freaking-believably exciting opportunity? 896 00:39:56,969 --> 00:39:57,928 Huh? 897 00:39:58,409 --> 00:40:00,135 All right! Woo! Look at this group! 898 00:40:01,009 --> 00:40:02,763 All right. What's with all the long faces? 899 00:40:02,850 --> 00:40:04,096 Did somebody die? 900 00:40:04,169 --> 00:40:06,892 Yeah. Spaghetti died last night. 901 00:40:06,970 --> 00:40:08,168 Who is Spaghetti? 902 00:40:08,249 --> 00:40:09,361 The cat. 903 00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:11,367 The cat? Oh. Can I be honest? 904 00:40:11,449 --> 00:40:13,808 That cat probably killed himself because his name was "Spaghetti." 905 00:40:13,929 --> 00:40:14,888 Right? Hey-oh! 906 00:40:14,928 --> 00:40:16,011 - Michelle. - Oh... 907 00:40:16,809 --> 00:40:19,168 All right, okay. Why don't you take off, Sandy? 908 00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:20,369 It's my meeting and I'm... 909 00:40:20,489 --> 00:40:21,687 Okay. 910 00:40:21,769 --> 00:40:23,207 Go catch it. Go catch it. 911 00:40:23,289 --> 00:40:24,526 Really sorry about your loss. 912 00:40:24,849 --> 00:40:27,131 As you already know, my name is Michelle Darnell 913 00:40:27,209 --> 00:40:28,177 and this is my partner. 914 00:40:28,289 --> 00:40:31,329 And by "partner," I don't mean like girl-on-girl kind of stuff. 915 00:40:31,448 --> 00:40:33,605 - Whoa! - What's "girl-on-girl stuff"? 916 00:40:34,249 --> 00:40:36,368 Uh, well, great question. I love an inquisitive mind. 917 00:40:36,449 --> 00:40:38,405 Girl-on-girl stuff is really just referring to 918 00:40:38,489 --> 00:40:40,924 something you're probably gonna dabble with in college, 919 00:40:41,008 --> 00:40:42,053 but not stick with, you know? 920 00:40:42,088 --> 00:40:43,085 Let's not... Don't tell her that. 921 00:40:43,169 --> 00:40:44,204 Unless you're Hannah. 922 00:40:44,288 --> 00:40:45,573 Hannah, you're gonna stick with it. 923 00:40:45,649 --> 00:40:46,608 Don't... You know what? Let's... 924 00:40:46,688 --> 00:40:49,123 And I got a hunch that your mom should've stuck with it. 925 00:40:49,168 --> 00:40:50,731 She wouldn't be so pent-up and angry. 926 00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:52,007 That's my hunch. 927 00:40:52,088 --> 00:40:53,123 Let's change the subject. 928 00:40:53,208 --> 00:40:56,967 We brought you guys some delicious homemade brownie treats. 929 00:40:57,008 --> 00:40:59,846 Ooh. Look at this! We brought treats, everybody! Treats! 930 00:40:59,927 --> 00:41:01,566 Let me ask you one question. 931 00:41:01,608 --> 00:41:03,890 When you sell a box of cookies, what do you get? 932 00:41:03,968 --> 00:41:06,729 You get points that can apply to your canoe trip. 933 00:41:06,768 --> 00:41:09,175 Wrong, you get a big plate of bullshit! 934 00:41:09,648 --> 00:41:12,362 That is 100% right, you beautiful giant! 935 00:41:12,447 --> 00:41:14,882 Now, at Darnell's Darlings, we don't think that's right. 936 00:41:14,927 --> 00:41:17,286 We think if you go out and sell a box of cookies, 937 00:41:17,328 --> 00:41:18,766 we should give you 5% commission. 938 00:41:19,047 --> 00:41:21,003 5% commission, every box you sell. 939 00:41:21,087 --> 00:41:22,602 It was supposed to be 10%, I think. 940 00:41:22,927 --> 00:41:24,528 - That's right, we did say that. - Yeah. 941 00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:26,803 So far, you suck at this. Just letting you know that. 942 00:41:26,887 --> 00:41:28,488 Okay, it's 10%. 943 00:41:28,567 --> 00:41:31,002 You come work with us, you get a share of the profits. 944 00:41:31,527 --> 00:41:32,764 Okay. Or you can stay here! 945 00:41:32,807 --> 00:41:34,322 Be my guest and, I don't know, build some 946 00:41:34,407 --> 00:41:36,603 dirty badger nests in some kind of tree. 947 00:41:36,686 --> 00:41:38,412 Or what did you have planned, Sandy? 948 00:41:38,886 --> 00:41:42,165 Well, actually, we were gonna build a dirty badger nest in a tree. 949 00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:44,727 My God. 950 00:41:44,806 --> 00:41:46,724 My God! And I was making that up. 951 00:41:46,807 --> 00:41:50,691 I was trying to think of the worst possible scenario on Earth. 952 00:41:50,726 --> 00:41:52,365 What the hell is going on in here? 953 00:41:52,646 --> 00:41:54,890 I leave the room for one minute to talk to my landscaper 954 00:41:54,966 --> 00:41:56,404 and the meeting goes into the toilet? 955 00:41:56,646 --> 00:41:58,007 Sorry, Helen, we're almost done. 956 00:41:58,086 --> 00:42:00,800 Okay, you guys, the best part about Darnell's Darlings 957 00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:03,686 is that, for each box sold, an extra 10% 958 00:42:03,766 --> 00:42:05,808 will go into a college fund for you. Okay? 959 00:42:05,926 --> 00:42:08,726 We are gonna help you save for your college education. 960 00:42:08,806 --> 00:42:12,613 Wait, are you trying to poach girls from a Dandelions meeting? 961 00:42:12,846 --> 00:42:14,322 No! 962 00:42:14,405 --> 00:42:17,243 Helen, we are not trying to poach girls. 963 00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:21,197 We are actively and definitely poaching girls from this meeting. 964 00:42:21,285 --> 00:42:22,244 Get your hands off me. 965 00:42:22,326 --> 00:42:23,726 - Fuck you, Helen! - You fuck you! 966 00:42:24,526 --> 00:42:25,926 Tell your little shitty daughter, 967 00:42:26,006 --> 00:42:28,202 never talk to Rachel like that again. 968 00:42:28,285 --> 00:42:30,241 - Let's um, go, girls. - Okay, girls! 969 00:42:30,485 --> 00:42:33,045 Whoever wants to go to the fun room, come on with me! 970 00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:36,644 Just down the hall. The bigger, the better room. We got foosball! 971 00:42:37,006 --> 00:42:38,924 Okay. And I promise, no Helen! 972 00:42:39,405 --> 00:42:41,486 - Bye, Helen! - Good luck with your product! 973 00:42:42,085 --> 00:42:43,197 Oh, man. 974 00:42:43,285 --> 00:42:44,320 I mean, what is it, anyway? 975 00:42:44,365 --> 00:42:49,131 It looks like just a bunch of homemade, gluten-filled, sugar-filled, 976 00:42:49,365 --> 00:42:50,803 diabetes cake. 977 00:42:58,884 --> 00:43:00,169 With chocolate! 978 00:43:00,764 --> 00:43:02,087 Oh, my God. 979 00:43:03,445 --> 00:43:04,720 It's good. 980 00:43:31,044 --> 00:43:32,118 Now, what are we doing? 981 00:43:32,163 --> 00:43:34,244 Selling brownies! 982 00:43:34,324 --> 00:43:36,280 Okay, what do we say if somebody doesn't want to buy? 983 00:43:36,323 --> 00:43:37,847 "Buy my brownies or I'll kill you." 984 00:43:38,444 --> 00:43:39,450 Don't say that, Chrystal. 985 00:43:39,524 --> 00:43:40,521 Say that. That's perfect. 986 00:43:40,644 --> 00:43:42,485 All right, now go make some money! 987 00:43:43,203 --> 00:43:44,363 Woo! 988 00:43:44,484 --> 00:43:46,123 The van leaves at 7:00! 989 00:43:46,203 --> 00:43:48,322 If you're not back, we will leave without you! 990 00:43:48,363 --> 00:43:50,635 No, we're not gonna leave. Nobody's leaving you. 991 00:43:50,723 --> 00:43:52,439 We're leaving at 7:00 sharp. 992 00:43:52,643 --> 00:43:54,561 - 7:00! - The van'll be here. 993 00:43:55,123 --> 00:43:56,877 I didn't count how many there were. 994 00:43:57,923 --> 00:43:59,169 - I did. Whew. - Oh, good. 995 00:44:08,003 --> 00:44:10,199 Okay, these are cut and cooled. Bag 'em. 996 00:44:10,722 --> 00:44:12,083 Michelle, are you helping? 997 00:44:12,163 --> 00:44:13,486 Yes, of course, I'm helping. 998 00:44:19,323 --> 00:44:20,962 By the way, don't give him anymore freebies, okay? 999 00:44:21,042 --> 00:44:23,199 He's gotta pay for them, just like everybody else. 1000 00:44:23,482 --> 00:44:24,556 Oh, they're so good! 1001 00:44:24,642 --> 00:44:27,039 There you are. All set. 1002 00:44:28,322 --> 00:44:29,328 Don't forget the tip. 1003 00:44:29,442 --> 00:44:30,487 Now, how could I? You're so big. 1004 00:44:30,562 --> 00:44:32,643 You've said it so many times. And, there, you got it. 1005 00:44:37,522 --> 00:44:38,797 Hi, do you have money? 1006 00:44:40,442 --> 00:44:41,439 Hey! 1007 00:44:41,762 --> 00:44:43,756 There ain't gonna be any brownies left in the world. 1008 00:44:43,842 --> 00:44:45,635 Get outta here. Go sell brownies! 1009 00:44:47,122 --> 00:44:48,953 - Okay. - Hello, Bonnie! 1010 00:44:49,001 --> 00:44:52,472 Look at this. Patrice, take that. 1011 00:44:52,522 --> 00:44:53,922 Take that and buy me something! 1012 00:44:53,961 --> 00:44:55,600 I'm just kidding, but if you want to... 1013 00:45:01,442 --> 00:45:05,038 Remember, girls, when the houses are nice, we double the price. 1014 00:45:05,121 --> 00:45:07,528 Rich people don't trust affordable snacks. 1015 00:45:07,601 --> 00:45:10,084 - You know what? Let's go up to $10 a box. - Hey! 1016 00:45:11,961 --> 00:45:13,198 What do you think you're doing? 1017 00:45:13,281 --> 00:45:14,719 Hi, Helen! 1018 00:45:15,041 --> 00:45:17,601 We're participating in the American Dream. 1019 00:45:17,681 --> 00:45:19,119 Not on this street, you're not. 1020 00:45:19,201 --> 00:45:20,955 This is Dandelion territory. 1021 00:45:21,041 --> 00:45:22,163 It's okay, Helen, we'll just... 1022 00:45:22,241 --> 00:45:23,679 - Shut up, Sandy! - Okay. 1023 00:45:23,761 --> 00:45:24,806 You guys are losers! 1024 00:45:24,841 --> 00:45:26,960 Hey, suck my dick, Gigantor! 1025 00:45:27,041 --> 00:45:28,000 You're fucking dead! 1026 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:29,077 Hannah, stop it! 1027 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,161 We are not gonna behave like this! 1028 00:45:31,201 --> 00:45:32,323 Michelle. 1029 00:45:32,681 --> 00:45:33,726 A word? 1030 00:45:33,761 --> 00:45:34,883 I'd be delighted. 1031 00:45:35,041 --> 00:45:38,886 First rule of business, pretend to negotiate and then take what you want. 1032 00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,121 Listen, jailbird. 1033 00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,047 You think because you used to be someone 1034 00:45:47,121 --> 00:45:48,434 that the rules don't apply to you 1035 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,639 and your pathetic band of rejects? 1036 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:52,802 Well, you're wrong, bitch. 1037 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,473 Ugh. Helen! 1038 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,757 You got a case of the old trench-mouth. 1039 00:45:57,839 --> 00:46:00,639 Did you let a corpse curl up and die in there? 1040 00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:01,923 Forget it, Michelle. 1041 00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,722 - Let's just start on the next block. - No, no, no. 1042 00:46:05,119 --> 00:46:09,597 Second rule of business is when a stanky, hummus-eating bitch 1043 00:46:09,679 --> 00:46:13,121 and her yeti of a daughter gets in your face, 1044 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:14,725 you gotta regulate. 1045 00:46:16,359 --> 00:46:18,238 Hannah, give me some space. 1046 00:46:23,359 --> 00:46:24,318 Oh. 1047 00:46:24,399 --> 00:46:26,077 - How'd that taste? - Nice. 1048 00:46:30,439 --> 00:46:31,676 Chomp on that! 1049 00:46:37,279 --> 00:46:38,957 Let's get 'em! 1050 00:46:55,998 --> 00:46:58,798 They're animals! They're animals! 1051 00:47:07,718 --> 00:47:09,118 Rachel's not done! 1052 00:47:09,438 --> 00:47:11,317 Rachel's thirsty for more! 1053 00:47:17,957 --> 00:47:19,031 Yeah! 1054 00:47:20,157 --> 00:47:22,199 Hey, Chrystal! I'm coming for you! 1055 00:47:22,637 --> 00:47:23,835 Bring it on! 1056 00:47:32,957 --> 00:47:35,038 Oh, no, you don't! You're not going anywhere! 1057 00:47:35,117 --> 00:47:37,236 Do you understand me? Dandelions never leave a street fight! 1058 00:47:37,277 --> 00:47:38,562 God damn it, Helen! 1059 00:47:38,597 --> 00:47:39,795 We're gonna wipe the floor! 1060 00:47:42,717 --> 00:47:44,155 Sandy, why? 1061 00:47:44,237 --> 00:47:46,078 'Cause I'm the leader, dang it! 1062 00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:47,558 - You're a traitor! - No. 1063 00:47:48,317 --> 00:47:50,963 Move! That bitch is mine! 1064 00:47:51,037 --> 00:47:52,120 Wait. No! 1065 00:47:52,157 --> 00:47:55,436 Hey, time to put the cookies back in the cookie jar, Helen! 1066 00:47:55,516 --> 00:47:57,721 - Ooh. - I warned you, Helen! I warned you! 1067 00:47:57,917 --> 00:47:59,518 Those clusters are scratching me! 1068 00:47:59,597 --> 00:48:01,591 Good! Darlings! 1069 00:48:02,116 --> 00:48:03,199 Let's go! 1070 00:48:04,397 --> 00:48:05,595 Stay down! 1071 00:48:05,676 --> 00:48:07,229 - Don't tell your mom. - Okay. 1072 00:48:07,356 --> 00:48:09,274 This was great. 1073 00:48:15,876 --> 00:48:16,835 Ooh! 1074 00:48:16,956 --> 00:48:18,509 That batch is burnt! 1075 00:48:20,596 --> 00:48:21,641 Bye. 1076 00:48:24,156 --> 00:48:25,469 One of 'em's in me. 1077 00:48:28,316 --> 00:48:30,560 Hi, is there a Claire here? 1078 00:48:30,716 --> 00:48:31,914 Is Claire... 1079 00:48:34,236 --> 00:48:35,827 Hi! Where is Claire? 1080 00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:38,275 Section 509, but return on investment... 1081 00:48:38,355 --> 00:48:39,314 Ugh, ugh. 1082 00:48:39,796 --> 00:48:40,956 Oh. 1083 00:48:41,116 --> 00:48:43,072 - Look at you, in the middle of everything... - I'll call you back. 1084 00:48:43,155 --> 00:48:44,152 In a bullpen. 1085 00:48:44,196 --> 00:48:45,279 What are you doing here? 1086 00:48:45,796 --> 00:48:47,992 We're out of brownies. We need you to make more. 1087 00:48:48,315 --> 00:48:49,628 Well, I'm at work! 1088 00:48:50,076 --> 00:48:52,559 Uh, hi, there! Hey! You're Michelle Darnell. 1089 00:48:52,956 --> 00:48:54,432 - Of course I am. - Yes, you are. 1090 00:48:54,515 --> 00:48:56,356 Mike, this is Michelle. Michelle, Mike. 1091 00:48:57,755 --> 00:48:58,714 Ah... 1092 00:48:59,195 --> 00:49:00,480 "Mike" Mike. 1093 00:49:01,675 --> 00:49:02,749 Oh. Rejected Mike. 1094 00:49:02,835 --> 00:49:04,474 - The rejected Mike? - Don't... 1095 00:49:04,555 --> 00:49:07,518 You know, he is kind of cute. I think you should toss him a pity date. 1096 00:49:07,555 --> 00:49:08,830 I don't need the pity, 1097 00:49:08,914 --> 00:49:10,947 but I will take the date if that's out there. 1098 00:49:11,035 --> 00:49:12,109 If that's an option. 1099 00:49:12,155 --> 00:49:14,427 Pity's all you've got. Pity's your best friend. 1100 00:49:14,715 --> 00:49:16,316 - Okay. Good to know. - Okay. 1101 00:49:16,395 --> 00:49:18,111 Just stop talking to him, okay? Leave him alone. 1102 00:49:18,195 --> 00:49:19,681 What is going on here? 1103 00:49:19,995 --> 00:49:22,114 Oh, my... Greatest. Okay. 1104 00:49:22,555 --> 00:49:24,233 You are Michelle Darnell. 1105 00:49:24,314 --> 00:49:25,464 Guilty as charged. 1106 00:49:25,595 --> 00:49:28,472 Oh, wow. I have two personal heroes in my life, 1107 00:49:28,514 --> 00:49:30,556 and I am staring at one of them right now. 1108 00:49:30,754 --> 00:49:33,036 - Oh, no. No touching. - No. 1109 00:49:33,274 --> 00:49:35,230 Curious to know who the other one is. 1110 00:49:35,314 --> 00:49:37,558 It's Benedict Cumberbatch, and you. 1111 00:49:38,074 --> 00:49:41,315 Huh. I did not peg you for a "Cumbersnatch." 1112 00:49:41,594 --> 00:49:43,233 That's me. Cumbersnatch. 1113 00:49:43,313 --> 00:49:44,626 You seem like a real Cumbersnatch. 1114 00:49:44,674 --> 00:49:46,400 Well, thank you so, so much. 1115 00:49:46,473 --> 00:49:47,518 You're welcome. Oh... 1116 00:49:48,113 --> 00:49:49,589 Thank you. Great encounter. 1117 00:49:49,674 --> 00:49:52,953 It's always fun. And I think I'm done with you. 1118 00:49:53,193 --> 00:49:56,674 Absolutely. And, madam, it was an honor. 1119 00:49:56,754 --> 00:49:58,758 - Off you go! - And here I am, okay. 1120 00:50:00,793 --> 00:50:01,752 Strange girl. 1121 00:50:03,233 --> 00:50:04,307 Okay. 1122 00:50:05,073 --> 00:50:08,746 Claire, if this company is going to work, I need you full time. 1123 00:50:08,793 --> 00:50:10,279 I can't have you here. 1124 00:50:10,913 --> 00:50:12,552 Are you in or are you out? 1125 00:50:12,633 --> 00:50:14,474 I can't just leave my job! 1126 00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,509 I mean, I have to have a steady income. 1127 00:50:16,593 --> 00:50:17,906 I have Rachel to think about. 1128 00:50:17,993 --> 00:50:20,313 No, no, no. This is for Rachel. Okay? 1129 00:50:20,352 --> 00:50:22,874 If this works out the way I know it's going to work out, 1130 00:50:22,913 --> 00:50:24,466 it's gonna set you two up for life. 1131 00:50:24,953 --> 00:50:26,075 We're already making enough money 1132 00:50:26,153 --> 00:50:27,744 to pay your rent and all your bills, 1133 00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:31,314 and I'm just about to put a very big fish on the hook as our investor. 1134 00:50:31,393 --> 00:50:32,515 This is what I do. 1135 00:50:32,592 --> 00:50:34,068 Okay? You know that. 1136 00:50:34,792 --> 00:50:36,345 You have to trust me. 1137 00:50:37,672 --> 00:50:39,273 I do hate this job. 1138 00:50:39,872 --> 00:50:41,636 I mean, it's a terrible job. 1139 00:50:42,392 --> 00:50:44,310 My God. I mean, look at him. 1140 00:50:44,753 --> 00:50:47,188 He's slumped over, asleep. I hope he's asleep. 1141 00:50:47,232 --> 00:50:48,871 You don't want to be that guy. 1142 00:50:49,592 --> 00:50:50,752 What do you say? 1143 00:50:52,392 --> 00:50:53,427 Okay. 1144 00:50:53,512 --> 00:50:55,314 Yes. I'm all in. 1145 00:50:55,352 --> 00:50:56,876 Dana, I quit. 1146 00:50:57,072 --> 00:50:59,028 I'm gonna start my own business, okay? 1147 00:50:59,072 --> 00:51:01,153 - I have my own business. - Yes, she does. 1148 00:51:01,231 --> 00:51:03,033 Guys, it was lovely here. 1149 00:51:03,072 --> 00:51:05,479 Not really, but I hope you all have a wonderful day. 1150 00:51:05,552 --> 00:51:07,671 Mike, would you still like to go on that date? 1151 00:51:07,752 --> 00:51:08,797 Uh, yes, I would. 1152 00:51:08,872 --> 00:51:11,192 I'm free tomorrow at 7:30. Bring your A-game. 1153 00:51:11,872 --> 00:51:14,394 Tracy? Wake up! I'm out! 1154 00:51:14,431 --> 00:51:16,070 Wake it up, Tracy! 1155 00:51:16,152 --> 00:51:17,111 - No. - No. 1156 00:51:17,191 --> 00:51:18,351 - No, thank you. - I'm so... 1157 00:51:18,551 --> 00:51:20,593 - Ooh. No. - I'm very flattered. 1158 00:51:22,231 --> 00:51:25,232 Seems like a good night for sexual activity, Claire. 1159 00:51:26,471 --> 00:51:29,395 How long has it been since you've had sexual activity? 1160 00:51:30,351 --> 00:51:34,071 Stop yelling "sexual activity." 'Cause Rachel might hear you. 1161 00:51:35,671 --> 00:51:38,902 You know, you're the one that's yelling "sexual activity" out in the hallway. 1162 00:51:39,191 --> 00:51:40,869 Just answer the question, Claire. 1163 00:51:40,951 --> 00:51:42,073 I don't know. 1164 00:51:42,151 --> 00:51:43,829 If I had to guess, 1165 00:51:44,150 --> 00:51:46,950 maybe four, five, six years? 1166 00:51:47,630 --> 00:51:50,065 What? Oh, my God. Did you take a vow? 1167 00:51:50,151 --> 00:51:52,318 It's very hard to find a good sitter. 1168 00:51:52,790 --> 00:51:54,784 Okay. We'll go with that. I just... 1169 00:51:54,870 --> 00:51:56,624 I'm gonna say, it probably doesn't help 1170 00:51:56,670 --> 00:51:59,268 that you're dressed like you grocery-shop at a CVS. 1171 00:51:59,911 --> 00:52:00,908 What? 1172 00:52:00,950 --> 00:52:02,225 I love this sweater. 1173 00:52:02,550 --> 00:52:03,873 I don't know why you would. 1174 00:52:03,950 --> 00:52:05,915 This sweater goes with everything. It's a neutral. 1175 00:52:06,030 --> 00:52:09,271 It doesn't go with you or your skin, or your face. 1176 00:52:09,510 --> 00:52:12,070 That sweater is the equivalent of a sandwich board 1177 00:52:12,150 --> 00:52:13,837 that just says, "I give up." 1178 00:52:13,910 --> 00:52:16,384 And then in the back, it says, "I never started tryin'." 1179 00:52:17,150 --> 00:52:18,703 It somewhat looks like you have 1180 00:52:18,790 --> 00:52:23,383 sewn together two very long, sad tube socks and then filled each end 1181 00:52:23,750 --> 00:52:26,588 with wet sand and rocks. 1182 00:52:26,669 --> 00:52:28,030 What are you talking about? 1183 00:52:28,109 --> 00:52:29,672 It just looks like two basset hounds 1184 00:52:29,790 --> 00:52:31,343 may have cried themselves to death 1185 00:52:31,430 --> 00:52:32,830 in your sweater. 1186 00:52:32,909 --> 00:52:35,191 I like it. I think this looks great. 1187 00:52:35,830 --> 00:52:36,913 Can I... 1188 00:52:36,950 --> 00:52:38,235 - Michelle! - Well... 1189 00:52:38,310 --> 00:52:39,393 - You are... - I had to check. 1190 00:52:39,469 --> 00:52:40,629 I didn't know what was in there. 1191 00:52:40,709 --> 00:52:42,751 You're making me feel very insecure right before my date. 1192 00:52:42,829 --> 00:52:43,874 Don't! 1193 00:52:43,949 --> 00:52:46,106 If your breasts could speak right now, 1194 00:52:46,189 --> 00:52:48,308 I think they'd be saying, "Claire, 1195 00:52:48,469 --> 00:52:50,550 "please don't zip me up in your jeans." 1196 00:52:50,629 --> 00:52:51,866 - That is... - You're gonna zip a nipple. 1197 00:52:51,949 --> 00:52:53,109 That's not what they'd say. 1198 00:52:53,189 --> 00:52:55,068 May I adjust your strap? 1199 00:52:55,149 --> 00:52:57,028 'Cause I'm trying to help you, Claire. 1200 00:52:57,109 --> 00:52:58,911 You say, "Be more helpful." And I'm trying to be helpful. 1201 00:52:59,029 --> 00:53:00,064 You can tighten the strap. 1202 00:53:00,148 --> 00:53:01,787 Okay. What... 1203 00:53:01,869 --> 00:53:03,470 Just a little, 'cause I want it... 1204 00:53:03,509 --> 00:53:04,669 What is that toggle? 1205 00:53:05,589 --> 00:53:06,826 Oh, it's a nursing bra. 1206 00:53:07,468 --> 00:53:09,587 Oh, my God. Are you still nursing Rachel? 1207 00:53:09,628 --> 00:53:12,907 No, it's from when she was a baby. But it's very comfortable. 1208 00:53:13,108 --> 00:53:15,026 That's not comfortable to see. 1209 00:53:15,108 --> 00:53:16,469 Now, let me see this. 1210 00:53:16,508 --> 00:53:17,591 It's very often a fit issue. 1211 00:53:19,508 --> 00:53:20,706 Why do these have so much pull? 1212 00:53:20,828 --> 00:53:22,026 All right, well... 1213 00:53:22,068 --> 00:53:24,705 Claire! It's like Geppetto! 1214 00:53:24,788 --> 00:53:26,945 Look at that. Look at this. It's like, "Horses, horses." 1215 00:53:27,027 --> 00:53:28,110 - It's like I'm... - Oh, my God. 1216 00:53:28,148 --> 00:53:29,663 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! 1217 00:53:29,748 --> 00:53:31,301 It feels good. I need to be comfortable. 1218 00:53:31,348 --> 00:53:33,227 It doesn't feel good to my eyes. 1219 00:53:33,268 --> 00:53:34,869 Can I just put 'em where they're supposed to be? 1220 00:53:34,908 --> 00:53:37,065 And I want you to be able to see the difference. 1221 00:53:37,108 --> 00:53:40,234 You got "Happy girl", and then, uh-oh. 1222 00:53:40,507 --> 00:53:41,581 They just drop out. 1223 00:53:42,147 --> 00:53:44,304 And I should not be able to separate... 1224 00:53:44,347 --> 00:53:45,430 - Okay. All right. - They're heavier, but... 1225 00:53:45,467 --> 00:53:47,385 So how do you like it when I just get in there and bang around? 1226 00:53:47,507 --> 00:53:48,945 - I love it. - Why is there not... 1227 00:53:49,228 --> 00:53:50,263 Oh, there's no give. 1228 00:53:50,347 --> 00:53:52,466 Look at that. I can't even feel that. 1229 00:53:52,547 --> 00:53:53,544 That's when you know... 1230 00:53:56,147 --> 00:53:58,266 I don't feel it, okay? 100% silicone. 1231 00:53:58,347 --> 00:54:01,108 And not the kind that's supposed to ever be inside the body. 1232 00:54:01,187 --> 00:54:02,750 I know. They're fantastic. 1233 00:54:02,827 --> 00:54:03,824 That's something else. 1234 00:54:03,907 --> 00:54:04,942 Might feel that. 1235 00:54:04,987 --> 00:54:06,109 That's my nipple. 1236 00:54:06,787 --> 00:54:08,781 - Yeah, they're up here, where they should be. - Oh, my God. 1237 00:54:08,866 --> 00:54:10,304 No, see, you need to bring 'em down. 1238 00:54:10,386 --> 00:54:11,949 No! They can't, anyway, no. 1239 00:54:11,987 --> 00:54:14,029 That's what you need to do. They're too high, Michelle. 1240 00:54:14,066 --> 00:54:15,351 - There's a structure. Stop. - No. 1241 00:54:15,387 --> 00:54:16,461 If we were... You need to... 1242 00:54:16,507 --> 00:54:18,309 - Look, just take 'em a little bit lower. - Oh, my God. 1243 00:54:18,387 --> 00:54:19,509 - How about that? - I paid a fortune for these. 1244 00:54:19,586 --> 00:54:20,746 - No, I'm gonna bring 'em... - I'm keepin' 'em up! 1245 00:54:20,786 --> 00:54:21,745 Just gonna push 'em right down. 1246 00:54:21,827 --> 00:54:22,786 I'm trying to help you not... 1247 00:54:22,866 --> 00:54:24,381 What're you guys doing? 1248 00:54:24,546 --> 00:54:25,783 Hey, there! 1249 00:54:25,866 --> 00:54:28,992 We're just... There was a... Probably a... 1250 00:54:29,066 --> 00:54:30,063 - I was... - Bugs. 1251 00:54:30,146 --> 00:54:34,020 We were jostling each other's bosoms like... 1252 00:54:34,306 --> 00:54:35,351 Gals do. 1253 00:54:35,426 --> 00:54:36,864 No, we weren't. 1254 00:54:36,946 --> 00:54:39,861 I was just trying to help your mom here get ready for her big date. 1255 00:54:39,946 --> 00:54:42,343 - I'm a little nervous. - She's a little bit nervous. 1256 00:54:42,386 --> 00:54:45,109 Always gotta stretch your boobs when you're nervous. 1257 00:54:46,305 --> 00:54:47,302 You should change. 1258 00:54:47,666 --> 00:54:49,699 That's your TV-watching sweater. 1259 00:54:50,305 --> 00:54:51,465 Thank you. 1260 00:54:52,105 --> 00:54:54,138 Okay. Thank you for that. 1261 00:54:54,226 --> 00:54:55,865 Okay, well, we're gonna leave you to it. 1262 00:54:55,945 --> 00:54:57,268 You can treat yourself to a little underwire 1263 00:54:57,346 --> 00:54:59,340 and something that doesn't look like you sell ceramics. 1264 00:54:59,426 --> 00:55:01,305 Let's go watch a movie. I'm babysitting. 1265 00:55:01,385 --> 00:55:03,350 - Have you seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre? - No. 1266 00:55:03,465 --> 00:55:05,104 I'm kidding! I'm not kidding. 1267 00:55:17,385 --> 00:55:18,545 Hi. 1268 00:55:18,705 --> 00:55:21,783 Hi. Oh, my God. You look gorgeous. 1269 00:55:21,865 --> 00:55:23,946 I'm wearing a bra, a new bra. It's not new. 1270 00:55:23,985 --> 00:55:25,826 It's old. I just haven't worn it in a while. 1271 00:55:25,905 --> 00:55:28,782 Hey, you know what, I went with an old bra tonight, too, so... 1272 00:55:29,705 --> 00:55:30,750 Let's get a table. 1273 00:55:30,865 --> 00:55:31,948 Absolutely. 1274 00:55:33,425 --> 00:55:36,580 I wanted to tell you earlier actually, on a serious note. 1275 00:55:37,224 --> 00:55:39,506 When you walked out the other day from work, 1276 00:55:39,544 --> 00:55:41,308 quite dramatically, I might add, 1277 00:55:41,384 --> 00:55:42,707 six other people quit. 1278 00:55:43,104 --> 00:55:44,868 - What? - Mmm-hmm. They just walked out. 1279 00:55:44,944 --> 00:55:46,583 - Oh, my God. - I know, right? 1280 00:55:46,704 --> 00:55:47,816 I started a chain reaction. 1281 00:55:47,904 --> 00:55:49,141 You started a huge chain reaction. 1282 00:55:49,224 --> 00:55:50,384 Six people walked out 1283 00:55:50,464 --> 00:55:51,979 and then immediately three people walked back inside. 1284 00:55:52,024 --> 00:55:53,270 I think they were outside smoking. 1285 00:55:53,544 --> 00:55:55,059 But it was like you were a cult leader. 1286 00:55:55,184 --> 00:55:56,699 It was like a tremendous show of support. 1287 00:55:56,784 --> 00:55:59,181 It was, like, very inspiring. 1288 00:55:59,584 --> 00:56:01,502 - Really? - Yeah, really. 1289 00:56:01,904 --> 00:56:03,256 Do you find that hard to believe? 1290 00:56:03,344 --> 00:56:05,942 - That I'm tremendously inspiring? - Yeah. 1291 00:56:06,023 --> 00:56:07,423 - Yeah, a bit. - Really? 1292 00:56:07,503 --> 00:56:09,018 Well, let me tell you something, lady. 1293 00:56:09,104 --> 00:56:11,348 You are more than a little inspiring. 1294 00:56:13,784 --> 00:56:15,903 I have been talking ad nauseam here. 1295 00:56:16,023 --> 00:56:18,142 Can you, uh, grab the mic for a sec? 1296 00:56:19,103 --> 00:56:20,944 Well, I, um... 1297 00:56:20,983 --> 00:56:23,505 I got knocked up in grad school by my TA. 1298 00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:24,743 When he found out I was pregnant, 1299 00:56:24,823 --> 00:56:26,501 he pretended like we didn't know each other. 1300 00:56:26,543 --> 00:56:28,297 - What? - Then gave me a "D." 1301 00:56:28,343 --> 00:56:29,695 - What? - Yeah, nice surprise. 1302 00:56:29,743 --> 00:56:30,740 Yeah. 1303 00:56:30,823 --> 00:56:32,539 But I got a great kid out of it. 1304 00:56:32,863 --> 00:56:33,985 I bet you're a great mom. 1305 00:56:34,102 --> 00:56:35,224 I try. 1306 00:56:35,303 --> 00:56:37,863 I mean, unless she is currently unsupervised. Then you're a horrible mom. 1307 00:56:37,903 --> 00:56:39,590 No, she's with Michelle. 1308 00:56:39,663 --> 00:56:41,178 - She's with Michelle? - Yes. 1309 00:56:41,262 --> 00:56:42,815 She's your felon babysitter. 1310 00:56:43,703 --> 00:56:45,908 Oh! Oh, my God! 1311 00:56:45,983 --> 00:56:47,977 Rachel, it's the goriest part! 1312 00:56:48,063 --> 00:56:50,220 It's the goriest part. You're missing it! 1313 00:56:50,263 --> 00:56:53,427 Oh, my God. He's killing her with a chainsaw. 1314 00:56:53,502 --> 00:56:54,585 Oh. 1315 00:56:55,022 --> 00:56:57,064 I have a felon watching my child. 1316 00:56:57,102 --> 00:56:58,224 That just occurred to you, didn't it? 1317 00:56:58,302 --> 00:56:59,500 - Yes, it did. - Yeah. 1318 00:56:59,582 --> 00:57:01,384 - It's good thing I'm here. - Let's have some more wine. 1319 00:57:01,742 --> 00:57:03,861 Absolutely, yeah. Hey, excuse me. 1320 00:57:04,142 --> 00:57:06,865 Hi. Do you think maybe we could get two more glasses of the... 1321 00:57:07,622 --> 00:57:09,108 No. Hold on. 1322 00:57:09,862 --> 00:57:11,741 Bring us a bottle of whatever the lady would like 1323 00:57:11,821 --> 00:57:14,467 in the twenty-five to twenty-eight dollar range. 1324 00:57:15,261 --> 00:57:17,658 Sure, I'll send somebody to Walgreens to get you something nice. 1325 00:57:17,741 --> 00:57:20,052 Cool. You guys do that? What's with that? 1326 00:57:20,142 --> 00:57:21,379 Oh, my God! 1327 00:57:22,222 --> 00:57:24,140 Is that like a really cheap bottle of wine? 1328 00:57:27,142 --> 00:57:29,856 You got a lot of balls showing up here, Darnell. 1329 00:57:30,541 --> 00:57:33,619 Listen, Ida, I know you're still mad at me, and I don't blame you. 1330 00:57:33,742 --> 00:57:35,660 I shouldn't have cut you out of that Emerson deal. 1331 00:57:35,701 --> 00:57:37,503 But if it makes it any better, 1332 00:57:37,581 --> 00:57:39,738 I made a blinding amount of money on that deal. 1333 00:57:41,861 --> 00:57:45,457 You know the first time I saw you? Twenty-three years old. 1334 00:57:45,541 --> 00:57:47,459 Yeah. I knew right away, 1335 00:57:47,781 --> 00:57:49,622 you were a tough, money-hungry, 1336 00:57:49,701 --> 00:57:52,625 self-serving, see-you-next-Tuesday gal 1337 00:57:52,661 --> 00:57:53,974 just like me. 1338 00:57:54,061 --> 00:57:58,060 And that's why I decided to mentor you. Just let you get too close. 1339 00:57:58,781 --> 00:58:01,063 I started to think of you as family. 1340 00:58:02,701 --> 00:58:04,935 Well, families are for suckers, right? 1341 00:58:05,620 --> 00:58:06,857 That's for sure. 1342 00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:09,655 What do you want, Michelle? 1343 00:58:09,740 --> 00:58:11,255 I need an investor. 1344 00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:13,536 Oh, for your little brownie venture? 1345 00:58:14,221 --> 00:58:16,014 How do you even know about that? 1346 00:58:16,380 --> 00:58:19,496 Because I'm Ida Marquette. I know everything. 1347 00:58:20,140 --> 00:58:21,099 Here. 1348 00:58:22,140 --> 00:58:23,338 Come on, Ida. 1349 00:58:23,420 --> 00:58:25,539 I'm sure you got quite an overhead on this glue factory here. 1350 00:58:25,580 --> 00:58:27,661 - Do you want in or not? - You know, 1351 00:58:29,340 --> 00:58:31,421 I once made love on a pool table 1352 00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:33,418 in Hot Coffee, Mississippi 1353 00:58:33,540 --> 00:58:36,301 with six members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 1354 00:58:37,540 --> 00:58:38,700 Are you stroking out? 1355 00:58:38,740 --> 00:58:41,943 What does this have to do with what we're talking about right now? 1356 00:58:42,099 --> 00:58:45,177 The point is, Darnell, I have very few regrets in my life. 1357 00:58:45,979 --> 00:58:48,903 But you... You were my best protégée. 1358 00:58:49,939 --> 00:58:50,898 Tell you what. 1359 00:58:50,980 --> 00:58:54,940 I'll back you, if this checks out. Just for old times' sake. 1360 00:58:55,179 --> 00:58:56,176 Okay. 1361 00:58:56,259 --> 00:58:57,745 If you'll excuse me, Shawshank, 1362 00:58:58,099 --> 00:59:00,017 I'm late for my morning ride. 1363 00:59:00,099 --> 00:59:01,211 Yes! 1364 00:59:02,219 --> 00:59:03,254 Okay. 1365 00:59:03,338 --> 00:59:04,929 You better make me a shitload of money. 1366 00:59:05,019 --> 00:59:06,419 Away, Butters! 1367 00:59:12,059 --> 00:59:13,698 Come on! Eat up, ladies. 1368 00:59:13,739 --> 00:59:15,062 This is a celebratory dinner. 1369 00:59:15,138 --> 00:59:16,701 We got our investor. 1370 00:59:16,778 --> 00:59:18,456 Okay. Here we go. 1371 00:59:20,498 --> 00:59:21,735 Hoo-hoo-hoo. 1372 00:59:21,858 --> 00:59:22,893 Look at this! 1373 00:59:23,258 --> 00:59:24,293 What is this? 1374 00:59:24,378 --> 00:59:27,341 Well, I feel it's time you become more adventurous. 1375 00:59:31,898 --> 00:59:33,576 Thank God! Pizza! 1376 00:59:33,818 --> 00:59:35,496 I know you don't like sushi. 1377 00:59:35,578 --> 00:59:37,380 Thank you, Michelle! I'm starving. 1378 00:59:37,778 --> 00:59:39,696 And fugu for the lady. 1379 00:59:40,058 --> 00:59:41,985 - Thank you, Ping. - Fugu? 1380 00:59:44,138 --> 00:59:46,573 The infamous pufferfish. 1381 00:59:46,658 --> 00:59:50,570 When prepared incorrectly, it can lead to paralysis or even death. 1382 00:59:50,657 --> 00:59:54,732 But when it is prepared correctly, it is like a volcano erupting in my mouth. 1383 00:59:54,817 --> 00:59:56,341 Let's hope for the second. 1384 01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:03,302 Oh, this is nice. Get in here, guys. 1385 01:00:03,337 --> 01:00:04,650 I don't wanna hog it all. 1386 01:00:05,178 --> 01:00:07,412 Michelle, are you all right? 1387 01:00:07,577 --> 01:00:12,535 When it's this perfect, it takes you to the brink of paralysis. 1388 01:00:12,617 --> 01:00:15,340 And then, at the last minute, it just lets you go. 1389 01:00:15,977 --> 01:00:17,856 Three, two... 1390 01:00:18,537 --> 01:00:19,611 Uh-oh. 1391 01:00:22,457 --> 01:00:23,703 Michelle? 1392 01:00:30,817 --> 01:00:33,377 - Whoo. - That's a very risky dish. 1393 01:00:33,417 --> 01:00:35,219 Oh, God. How long was I out? 1394 01:00:35,296 --> 01:00:36,820 Are you serious? Like 10 seconds. 1395 01:00:37,257 --> 01:00:38,254 Yeah. 1396 01:00:38,657 --> 01:00:40,057 It's a personal best. 1397 01:00:40,456 --> 01:00:41,741 I was thinking about having more. 1398 01:00:41,816 --> 01:00:43,781 All right, I think everybody's done with the fugu. 1399 01:00:43,816 --> 01:00:45,849 - I'm gonna tea it out, just for a second. - Yeah. 1400 01:00:45,896 --> 01:00:47,209 I made you something. 1401 01:00:47,297 --> 01:00:48,294 What? 1402 01:00:48,376 --> 01:00:50,696 I mean, I thought I should give it to you now 1403 01:00:50,736 --> 01:00:54,380 'cause you keep eating things that almost kill you. 1404 01:00:56,176 --> 01:00:57,739 I made the frame at school. 1405 01:01:03,016 --> 01:01:06,209 It's a nice frame, Rachel. You did a good job. 1406 01:01:06,535 --> 01:01:07,609 Thanks. 1407 01:01:07,656 --> 01:01:11,367 When I look at the picture, I just think we're like a weird family. 1408 01:01:14,976 --> 01:01:15,973 Okay. Ah. 1409 01:01:16,896 --> 01:01:20,137 Family? That's a little heavy-handed. 1410 01:01:21,135 --> 01:01:23,772 I think, you know, I'm not much into labeling. 1411 01:01:24,335 --> 01:01:26,368 You say "family," and we don't look alike. 1412 01:01:26,455 --> 01:01:29,936 I mean, I'm not even sure that you two look alike. 1413 01:01:30,015 --> 01:01:32,815 We'll have to do a blood test on you for that. 1414 01:01:32,935 --> 01:01:37,058 You know, it's funny, looking at this, I think what day is this? 1415 01:01:37,094 --> 01:01:41,054 'Cause I'm pretty sure I have a... 1416 01:01:41,535 --> 01:01:44,296 I have a previously scheduled thing. 1417 01:01:44,374 --> 01:01:46,215 I don't know what I was... You know. 1418 01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:48,770 Do what you do. I'm gonna do what I do. 1419 01:01:48,894 --> 01:01:50,207 I'll take care of the check. 1420 01:01:51,615 --> 01:01:52,574 I just... 1421 01:01:55,214 --> 01:01:56,412 What was that about? 1422 01:01:57,614 --> 01:02:00,654 I don't know, sweetie. I don't know. 1423 01:02:07,334 --> 01:02:10,182 Hi! Sorry, baby. Michelle was supposed to pick you up. 1424 01:02:10,214 --> 01:02:13,934 I know. I texted her like 500,000 times. 1425 01:02:22,974 --> 01:02:24,335 All of her stuff is gone. 1426 01:02:30,213 --> 01:02:33,732 "Thank you for letting me stay in your home. Sincerely, MD. 1427 01:02:33,813 --> 01:02:36,133 "P.S. I won't miss your couch." 1428 01:02:36,174 --> 01:02:37,487 That's impersonal. 1429 01:02:38,173 --> 01:02:39,333 A bit. 1430 01:02:39,973 --> 01:02:42,092 I shouldn't have given her that picture of us. 1431 01:02:42,173 --> 01:02:43,975 Sweetie, she loved your picture. 1432 01:02:44,013 --> 01:02:48,290 No, come on. She left because it was her time to leave. 1433 01:02:48,373 --> 01:02:50,214 Michelle is a redhead and a Scorpio. 1434 01:02:50,293 --> 01:02:52,527 It's a very impulsive combo. 1435 01:02:55,453 --> 01:02:58,214 These little bites of goodness are puttin' kids in college... 1436 01:02:58,292 --> 01:02:59,251 Yes. 1437 01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:01,855 ...are giving young women in this country a business plan 1438 01:03:01,892 --> 01:03:04,251 and the thought in their head of like, "Yes, I can." 1439 01:03:04,293 --> 01:03:05,405 Is she picking up? 1440 01:03:05,452 --> 01:03:07,533 And if you buy four sets, you get this adorable wagon. 1441 01:03:09,852 --> 01:03:12,019 No. It's her voicemail. 1442 01:03:20,732 --> 01:03:23,532 I got 'em! I got 'em! 1443 01:03:33,852 --> 01:03:35,175 These are going to be huge. 1444 01:03:41,052 --> 01:03:43,171 How does she do it? I want in. 1445 01:03:43,691 --> 01:03:44,813 More milk. 1446 01:03:44,892 --> 01:03:47,490 No, I'm feeling reckless. I want to do it myself this time. 1447 01:03:50,611 --> 01:03:51,617 Ah. 1448 01:03:51,651 --> 01:03:52,849 Good job. 1449 01:03:54,611 --> 01:03:57,325 It's just, a little common courtesy would be nice, you know? 1450 01:03:57,411 --> 01:03:58,849 If she ever returned my calls, 1451 01:03:58,931 --> 01:04:01,414 I would know about these press days in the middle of nowhere. 1452 01:04:01,451 --> 01:04:02,486 Mom, look! 1453 01:04:03,451 --> 01:04:05,138 Congratulations, Claire. 1454 01:04:08,571 --> 01:04:10,536 Honey, why don't you, um, go on inside, 1455 01:04:10,651 --> 01:04:12,607 just look both ways before you cross, okay? 1456 01:04:12,691 --> 01:04:13,650 Okay. 1457 01:04:16,131 --> 01:04:17,454 What're you doing here? 1458 01:04:19,171 --> 01:04:21,932 Looks like you and Michelle have built yourself quite a little empire. 1459 01:04:23,650 --> 01:04:24,609 What do you want? 1460 01:04:24,691 --> 01:04:27,970 I want to take what Michelle Darnell has built. 1461 01:04:28,050 --> 01:04:30,533 I want her to realize that I have taken it away. 1462 01:04:30,610 --> 01:04:34,052 And when she realizes it, when that moment of realization crosses her face, 1463 01:04:34,130 --> 01:04:36,009 and she realizes that I have realized it as well... 1464 01:04:36,090 --> 01:04:37,049 I've lost my train of thought. 1465 01:04:37,090 --> 01:04:38,087 Yeah, I'm not following. 1466 01:04:38,170 --> 01:04:39,685 I want the fucking company, Claire. 1467 01:04:41,010 --> 01:04:42,410 It's only a matter of time 1468 01:04:42,490 --> 01:04:44,532 before Michelle Darnell screws you over. 1469 01:04:44,690 --> 01:04:45,658 So get in there. 1470 01:04:45,730 --> 01:04:47,648 I see you eyein' those brownies. 1471 01:04:47,730 --> 01:04:48,938 Let's have some bites. Go ahead. 1472 01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:49,969 They're not gonna bite you. 1473 01:04:50,050 --> 01:04:51,373 You're gonna bite them. 1474 01:04:51,449 --> 01:04:52,609 Let's get a shot of those. 1475 01:05:07,330 --> 01:05:09,094 Huh, pretty good stuff, right? 1476 01:05:14,689 --> 01:05:16,923 Oh, my God. 1477 01:05:17,009 --> 01:05:18,207 Oh, amazing! 1478 01:05:18,609 --> 01:05:21,255 This is Chrystal. It's one of the Darnell originals. 1479 01:05:21,289 --> 01:05:22,890 She's a giant. Huh? 1480 01:05:22,969 --> 01:05:24,771 I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I have eyes. 1481 01:05:24,809 --> 01:05:26,563 Isn't that fun? Come on with me. 1482 01:05:26,649 --> 01:05:28,442 I got a surprise for all of you guys... 1483 01:05:28,569 --> 01:05:30,371 I think you're gonna be very excited about. 1484 01:05:30,449 --> 01:05:33,412 I'd like to present the new Darnell Darlings' mascot! 1485 01:05:33,489 --> 01:05:34,486 Hit it! 1486 01:05:36,289 --> 01:05:37,890 Take some snaps of this. I know you want to. 1487 01:05:37,968 --> 01:05:39,205 It's a phoenix. 1488 01:05:39,289 --> 01:05:40,248 Michelle. 1489 01:05:40,288 --> 01:05:42,004 You get in there. I know you're not shy. 1490 01:05:42,088 --> 01:05:43,085 What is this? 1491 01:05:44,208 --> 01:05:46,327 It's a phoenix, Claire. It's my totem animal. 1492 01:05:46,368 --> 01:05:50,405 Okay. So you leased a commercial kitchen without telling me? 1493 01:05:50,488 --> 01:05:53,010 Yes. I'm kind of waiting for a, "Thank you, Michelle!" 1494 01:05:53,088 --> 01:05:55,245 Wow, um. I'm having a hard time with the "thank you" 1495 01:05:55,328 --> 01:05:58,847 because you also hired all of these people without consulting me. 1496 01:05:58,927 --> 01:06:02,043 I do know that you've been complaining pretty consistently 1497 01:06:02,128 --> 01:06:04,448 about having to do all the baking and doing it at your house. 1498 01:06:04,528 --> 01:06:05,573 I fixed all that for ya. 1499 01:06:05,608 --> 01:06:06,691 And you're more mad than ever. 1500 01:06:06,767 --> 01:06:08,004 - I don't get it, Claire. - You didn't... 1501 01:06:08,088 --> 01:06:10,523 Michelle, you didn't consult me on any of this, okay? 1502 01:06:10,607 --> 01:06:11,815 I see a bunch of press. 1503 01:06:11,888 --> 01:06:14,247 One of us, not you, got the press here. 1504 01:06:14,327 --> 01:06:15,286 Right. Okay. 1505 01:06:15,328 --> 01:06:16,766 Well, maybe they should know that 1506 01:06:16,888 --> 01:06:18,326 the new and improved Michelle Darnell 1507 01:06:18,368 --> 01:06:21,408 is just as self-centered and egotistical as the old Michelle Darnell. 1508 01:06:21,487 --> 01:06:23,328 - Really? Do you wanna do this? - Sure! 1509 01:06:23,367 --> 01:06:24,565 - 'Cause I would love to do this. - Great. 1510 01:06:24,607 --> 01:06:25,566 You follow me. 1511 01:06:25,647 --> 01:06:27,162 I will follow you, from the front. 1512 01:06:27,207 --> 01:06:29,249 - No, not from the front. From the back! - Yes! 1513 01:06:29,727 --> 01:06:31,491 Don't put your arm in front of me! 1514 01:06:31,527 --> 01:06:32,764 You can't tell me what to do! 1515 01:06:32,807 --> 01:06:34,370 You're not my boss anymore! 1516 01:06:34,446 --> 01:06:36,085 We are partners, 50-50, 1517 01:06:36,127 --> 01:06:38,054 and you can't make decisions without telling me! 1518 01:06:38,247 --> 01:06:40,049 We are not partners, Claire! 1519 01:06:40,127 --> 01:06:41,402 I am a successful businesswoman. 1520 01:06:41,487 --> 01:06:44,651 You are a lonely woman who can make a halfway decent brownie! 1521 01:06:44,727 --> 01:06:46,692 And we all have our little secrets, Claire. Right? 1522 01:06:46,727 --> 01:06:49,402 You double-crossing, hand-holding, sneaky little rat! 1523 01:06:49,446 --> 01:06:50,644 What are you talking about? 1524 01:06:50,686 --> 01:06:52,239 God, I can't believe I helped you! 1525 01:06:52,286 --> 01:06:54,405 I took you in off the street, okay? 1526 01:06:54,486 --> 01:06:55,646 When no one else would. 1527 01:06:55,726 --> 01:06:57,442 You are such a cliché. 1528 01:06:57,526 --> 01:07:00,441 Okay? You're getting close to people so now you have to push them away. 1529 01:07:00,487 --> 01:07:02,616 Okay, don't analyze me, Dr. Phil! 1530 01:07:02,687 --> 01:07:04,326 Why're you guys doing this? 1531 01:07:04,926 --> 01:07:06,527 Rachel, you know what, just go inside, honey. 1532 01:07:06,606 --> 01:07:09,166 No! No! You do not tell my daughter what to do. 1533 01:07:09,246 --> 01:07:11,048 And you know what? Don't ever speak to her again. 1534 01:07:11,126 --> 01:07:12,842 Mom, why would you say that? 1535 01:07:14,846 --> 01:07:19,487 It's fine, Rachel, just... Girls, go inside! Now! 1536 01:07:21,486 --> 01:07:23,125 You know what? I don't need this. 1537 01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:24,411 I don't need that. 1538 01:07:24,925 --> 01:07:25,884 I don't need any of it. 1539 01:07:26,205 --> 01:07:28,487 Let's see how far your brownie recipe takes you. 1540 01:07:29,325 --> 01:07:31,760 I'm cutting you loose and sailin' off! 1541 01:07:32,046 --> 01:07:33,887 I don't need you two weighing me down! 1542 01:07:35,165 --> 01:07:36,277 Rachel! 1543 01:07:36,405 --> 01:07:37,364 Rachel? 1544 01:07:53,565 --> 01:07:56,202 You're the only one that's gonna take care of you. 1545 01:07:56,605 --> 01:07:57,650 The only one. 1546 01:07:59,804 --> 01:08:01,722 Excuse me, you can't just go in there! 1547 01:08:01,765 --> 01:08:02,848 Watch me. 1548 01:08:03,644 --> 01:08:04,967 Hi, Ronald! 1549 01:08:05,284 --> 01:08:07,806 Ooh, I like your new bitches. 1550 01:08:07,845 --> 01:08:09,849 I saw you sniffing around my bakery. 1551 01:08:09,885 --> 01:08:11,966 You looking to get into the brownie business? 1552 01:08:12,004 --> 01:08:14,641 Why? Are you looking to sell your business? 1553 01:08:14,685 --> 01:08:15,644 Why not? 1554 01:08:16,084 --> 01:08:19,287 I have no personal stakes in it. It's just business to me. 1555 01:08:19,324 --> 01:08:21,366 And you've always liked collecting my things. 1556 01:08:29,324 --> 01:08:31,759 Okay. And since this one's coconut macadamia, 1557 01:08:31,804 --> 01:08:33,606 if you have a nut allergy, I don't want you anywhere near... 1558 01:08:33,684 --> 01:08:35,122 When's Michelle coming back? 1559 01:08:35,163 --> 01:08:36,361 I don't know, Chrystal. 1560 01:08:36,444 --> 01:08:37,690 She's like our leader. 1561 01:08:37,724 --> 01:08:39,440 My mom's gonna run this place. 1562 01:08:39,484 --> 01:08:41,766 Yes, I will be running the business 1563 01:08:42,283 --> 01:08:44,929 until Michelle comes back, or... 1564 01:08:44,964 --> 01:08:46,843 Knock, knock. Hi, it's Stephan! 1565 01:08:47,444 --> 01:08:51,644 Hi! I have a message from the new owner of Darnell's Darlings, 1566 01:08:51,763 --> 01:08:53,076 Mr. Renault. 1567 01:08:53,364 --> 01:08:54,677 Uh, sorry, I think there's a mistake. 1568 01:08:54,763 --> 01:08:56,239 I'm one of the owners here. 1569 01:08:56,723 --> 01:08:58,765 This is an eviction notice. 1570 01:09:01,763 --> 01:09:02,923 She sold us out? 1571 01:09:03,763 --> 01:09:04,923 How could she do that? 1572 01:09:05,003 --> 01:09:06,364 Oh, she just did it. 1573 01:09:06,443 --> 01:09:07,929 Okay, let's kick this guy's ass! 1574 01:09:07,963 --> 01:09:09,046 Hey, shit brains! 1575 01:09:09,083 --> 01:09:10,157 Chrystal! 1576 01:09:10,203 --> 01:09:11,603 Protect me. Protect me. 1577 01:09:11,642 --> 01:09:13,799 This is not cowardice. She's very tall! 1578 01:09:17,402 --> 01:09:19,483 Really wish you'd let me kick his ass. 1579 01:09:30,642 --> 01:09:33,758 You know what? It was a good business decision. 1580 01:09:34,762 --> 01:09:37,686 Don't start feelin' bad about good... 1581 01:09:40,282 --> 01:09:41,720 Good decisions. 1582 01:09:42,962 --> 01:09:45,321 Why would Michelle do that to us? 1583 01:09:45,882 --> 01:09:47,521 I just don't get it. 1584 01:09:51,441 --> 01:09:56,159 Well, you know, sweetie, Michelle has got a lot of baggage. 1585 01:09:58,281 --> 01:09:59,844 She's an asshole. 1586 01:10:00,601 --> 01:10:01,962 Language. 1587 01:10:02,041 --> 01:10:03,000 Sorry. 1588 01:10:04,521 --> 01:10:07,848 But you're right. She is an asshole. 1589 01:10:11,201 --> 01:10:13,636 Darnell, you are a real asshole. 1590 01:10:28,521 --> 01:10:29,758 Piece of shit. 1591 01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:57,879 I know what I'm gonna do. 1592 01:10:58,120 --> 01:10:59,961 - I'm gonna sue the pants off her. - Oh... 1593 01:10:59,999 --> 01:11:02,645 No, I'm not because she'll throw too many lawyers at me 1594 01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:04,722 and she's a shark in court. 1595 01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:06,917 Yeah. This is a test. 1596 01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:09,119 You want me to kill her with this bagel knife. 1597 01:11:09,199 --> 01:11:10,436 And I'll do it. 1598 01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:12,927 To pledge my allegiance to you, milady, I'll do it. 1599 01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:14,398 No. Thank you. 1600 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:16,923 Ooh, you guys are kissing. 1601 01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:19,632 - Heya, Rachel! Hi. How are you? - Hi. 1602 01:11:19,679 --> 01:11:21,606 - Did you sleep over? - Oh, God, no. 1603 01:11:21,719 --> 01:11:23,119 What, have a sleepover here? Ew. 1604 01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:24,282 - No, he didn't. - Yuck! 1605 01:11:24,359 --> 01:11:26,324 - No, that would be terrible. - I don't know about "yuck". 1606 01:11:26,439 --> 01:11:27,445 I don't mean "yuck." I meant... 1607 01:11:27,519 --> 01:11:29,235 - Don't know if it'll... - I mean... 1608 01:11:29,279 --> 01:11:31,081 - It could be nice. - Might be nice. 1609 01:11:31,159 --> 01:11:33,115 - It's nice for people to spend the night. - We don't know yet. 1610 01:11:33,199 --> 01:11:35,001 - We don't know yet. - We don't know yet. 1611 01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:37,723 Would you please grab some more garbage bags? 1612 01:11:37,799 --> 01:11:39,237 We have a lot of trash. 1613 01:11:39,319 --> 01:11:40,402 Yeah. 1614 01:11:40,598 --> 01:11:42,161 Why did I make that so weird? 1615 01:11:42,199 --> 01:11:43,311 - It's fine. - Didn't have to. 1616 01:11:43,358 --> 01:11:44,758 Didn't have to make it that weird. 1617 01:11:45,479 --> 01:11:47,675 - Holy shit! - Language! 1618 01:11:49,159 --> 01:11:50,520 Holy shit! 1619 01:11:50,679 --> 01:11:51,839 Uh... 1620 01:11:52,438 --> 01:11:55,238 This is all seeming probably so much 1621 01:11:55,359 --> 01:11:58,159 stranger than what I had intended. 1622 01:11:58,198 --> 01:12:00,921 I'm sorry to startle you, Rachel. 1623 01:12:00,999 --> 01:12:03,003 What are you doing in my closet? 1624 01:12:03,079 --> 01:12:05,553 Well, uh, to give you the whole... 1625 01:12:05,598 --> 01:12:08,196 I thought I have a great idea 1626 01:12:08,278 --> 01:12:11,241 to surprise you with an apology, 1627 01:12:11,318 --> 01:12:13,677 and my sincere "I'm sorry." 1628 01:12:13,718 --> 01:12:16,959 So I let myself in, in the middle of the night. 1629 01:12:17,038 --> 01:12:19,320 So once I was actually waiting here in the dark, 1630 01:12:19,358 --> 01:12:21,880 and you were getting up for the morning, I thought, "Uh-oh. 1631 01:12:21,918 --> 01:12:24,440 "This could seem kind of threatening and menacing." 1632 01:12:24,517 --> 01:12:26,204 And I panicked a little bit 1633 01:12:26,238 --> 01:12:29,076 and just darted into the closet. 1634 01:12:29,638 --> 01:12:33,560 So, surprise! I'm sorry. 1635 01:12:33,638 --> 01:12:36,965 And, dang it, I shouldn't have sold that company. 1636 01:12:38,077 --> 01:12:39,879 I think we're done. Okay, well... 1637 01:12:39,958 --> 01:12:43,285 You know... So thank you, I guess, for breaking into my home. 1638 01:12:43,317 --> 01:12:44,717 I said I was sorry. 1639 01:12:44,757 --> 01:12:46,713 Great. We heard you. Okay. 1640 01:12:46,797 --> 01:12:48,551 - I apologized. - I heard you. 1641 01:12:48,917 --> 01:12:50,192 There's the door. 1642 01:12:54,516 --> 01:12:55,791 You sold us out. 1643 01:12:56,757 --> 01:12:57,840 Yeah, I did. 1644 01:12:58,197 --> 01:13:02,244 I sold you out. And I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. 1645 01:13:02,317 --> 01:13:06,795 And I'm hoping, somehow, you can forgive me. 1646 01:13:06,837 --> 01:13:11,756 And I just wanna throw it out there that I have completely forgiven you, Claire, 1647 01:13:11,796 --> 01:13:15,401 for trying to sell me out first with Renault so... 1648 01:13:16,116 --> 01:13:18,034 What are you talking about? 1649 01:13:18,076 --> 01:13:19,073 I saw you. 1650 01:13:19,556 --> 01:13:23,238 Okay? I saw you and Ronald outside the bakery. 1651 01:13:23,316 --> 01:13:24,591 He was smelling your hand 1652 01:13:24,636 --> 01:13:26,956 and I know what that means, okay? 1653 01:13:27,076 --> 01:13:29,991 I mean, he has smelled many of my parts, 1654 01:13:30,836 --> 01:13:34,154 and I have smelled many of his parts. 1655 01:13:34,516 --> 01:13:37,239 I was telling Renault that I'm not willing 1656 01:13:37,396 --> 01:13:40,110 to sell him a single, solitary brownie, 1657 01:13:40,156 --> 01:13:42,045 let alone my entire company. 1658 01:13:44,075 --> 01:13:45,954 That's a mix-up, huh? 1659 01:13:46,235 --> 01:13:50,675 Michelle, I would never in a million years do that to you, okay? 1660 01:13:50,716 --> 01:13:53,708 You know... I mean, God. What goes on in your brain? 1661 01:13:53,756 --> 01:13:54,830 I don't know. 1662 01:13:55,155 --> 01:13:58,386 I mean, I don't have a lot of, 1663 01:13:59,955 --> 01:14:04,155 you know, experience or a reference point for... 1664 01:14:04,235 --> 01:14:07,236 I didn't have a family, or a mom, or a dad. 1665 01:14:07,315 --> 01:14:11,362 And I totally get it if you never talk to me again. 1666 01:14:11,754 --> 01:14:14,362 So I don't want you to feel bad about that. 1667 01:14:14,435 --> 01:14:17,398 I just wanted you to know that I think you're very nice people. 1668 01:14:17,875 --> 01:14:19,946 Great people, actually. 1669 01:14:20,035 --> 01:14:23,909 You're the closest thing to a family I've ever had. 1670 01:14:23,954 --> 01:14:28,547 And I'm real sorry I screwed that up. 1671 01:14:30,994 --> 01:14:32,710 I'm gonna miss you, Michelle. 1672 01:14:34,874 --> 01:14:35,833 Should I go? 1673 01:14:37,074 --> 01:14:39,231 I think I should go. 1674 01:14:39,314 --> 01:14:40,551 - Oh, my God. - It's an awkward time for me 1675 01:14:40,594 --> 01:14:42,185 to just be, like, creeping around in the background. 1676 01:14:42,274 --> 01:14:44,115 I had no idea you were still here. 1677 01:14:44,194 --> 01:14:45,757 - Should I go, or should I... - No, you're fine. 1678 01:14:45,834 --> 01:14:47,195 I do not like what you did. 1679 01:14:47,874 --> 01:14:51,547 I do not like it! And I do not like it. 1680 01:14:52,154 --> 01:14:54,235 She really doesn't like it, guys. 1681 01:14:56,034 --> 01:14:56,993 You know, I... 1682 01:14:57,674 --> 01:15:02,027 If anyone's curious, I do think I know how to fix this. 1683 01:15:02,913 --> 01:15:05,636 I signed that contract with Renault late Friday night. 1684 01:15:05,713 --> 01:15:08,590 I wanna remind you I was wounded, I was a little tipsy. 1685 01:15:08,673 --> 01:15:10,188 - Oh, God. - Okay. 1686 01:15:10,633 --> 01:15:13,749 And it's Sunday. No one will be in his offices. 1687 01:15:13,833 --> 01:15:16,105 Plus, he can't file for a corporate change of ownership 1688 01:15:16,193 --> 01:15:17,986 until tomorrow morning. 1689 01:15:18,233 --> 01:15:19,431 I can get in there tonight, 1690 01:15:19,473 --> 01:15:22,426 I can get that contract, and I can take our company back. 1691 01:15:22,673 --> 01:15:24,111 Wait, what do you mean "get the contract"? 1692 01:15:24,153 --> 01:15:26,387 He must have scanned and emailed it a hundred times by now. 1693 01:15:26,473 --> 01:15:28,985 No, no, no. Anybody else, yes, but not him. 1694 01:15:29,073 --> 01:15:32,151 Ronald is completely paranoid about being hacked. Okay? 1695 01:15:32,233 --> 01:15:36,596 He has no cell phones, no emails. He leaves no digital trail. 1696 01:15:36,633 --> 01:15:38,829 Claire knows this. He's all old-school pen and paper. 1697 01:15:38,913 --> 01:15:40,226 It's the samurai way. 1698 01:15:40,713 --> 01:15:43,436 Okay, I'm in. Let's do this. I'm in. 1699 01:15:43,473 --> 01:15:44,671 Why would you be in? 1700 01:15:44,752 --> 01:15:46,104 What do you mean why would I be in? 1701 01:15:46,192 --> 01:15:47,151 You've been talking all morning about 1702 01:15:47,232 --> 01:15:48,910 how you wanted to get your company back. 1703 01:15:48,992 --> 01:15:51,629 And you guys are gonna need help, and I'm a helpful guy. 1704 01:15:51,712 --> 01:15:52,997 How's that for a reason? 1705 01:15:53,512 --> 01:15:54,835 You're gonna get rewarded for that. 1706 01:15:54,872 --> 01:15:56,914 Well, that's not why I did it. 1707 01:15:57,351 --> 01:15:59,316 - I'm in, too. - No, Claire. 1708 01:15:59,392 --> 01:16:01,396 This is my fault and I'm gonna fix it. 1709 01:16:01,471 --> 01:16:03,273 Michelle, this is my decision. 1710 01:16:03,312 --> 01:16:04,673 And I want our company back. 1711 01:16:04,752 --> 01:16:06,190 Yes, Claire. 1712 01:16:06,271 --> 01:16:08,064 All right, let's fuck this shit up. 1713 01:16:08,152 --> 01:16:10,185 - Language. - Sorry. I'm sorry. 1714 01:16:10,951 --> 01:16:12,389 I need to get a sitter. 1715 01:16:13,031 --> 01:16:14,239 Yeah, you do. 1716 01:16:16,232 --> 01:16:18,591 As soon as we get out I want you to grab the gasoline, 1717 01:16:18,671 --> 01:16:19,984 some rags, and torch the van. 1718 01:16:20,071 --> 01:16:21,116 What are you talking about? 1719 01:16:21,192 --> 01:16:22,553 I rented the van. It's on my credit card. 1720 01:16:22,631 --> 01:16:23,839 You go down, you go down alone. 1721 01:16:23,911 --> 01:16:25,474 How would we even get home? 1722 01:16:25,551 --> 01:16:27,267 That's a good point. MVP, Claire. 1723 01:16:27,351 --> 01:16:30,669 Uh-oh. There's no door handle back here. There's absolutely... Oh. 1724 01:16:31,031 --> 01:16:32,632 Thank you, Claire. 1725 01:16:33,151 --> 01:16:35,232 Okay. I still don't think you should be here. 1726 01:16:35,311 --> 01:16:36,270 But if we get caught, 1727 01:16:36,391 --> 01:16:38,548 I want you to tell the police that I forced you here by gun. 1728 01:16:38,631 --> 01:16:39,753 You gotta watch out for Rachel. 1729 01:16:39,791 --> 01:16:41,584 Okay. You don't have a gun, though, right? 1730 01:16:41,670 --> 01:16:43,463 - What am I, a thug? - Okay. 1731 01:16:43,511 --> 01:16:45,985 I'm such a badass! This is gonna be amazing! 1732 01:16:46,070 --> 01:16:48,266 Also, by the way, guys, I was googling jail sentences. 1733 01:16:48,351 --> 01:16:50,470 Since none of us are actually armed, minimal jail time. 1734 01:16:52,871 --> 01:16:54,904 Oops. Just excuse me for one minute. 1735 01:16:54,990 --> 01:16:55,987 Michelle! 1736 01:16:56,110 --> 01:16:57,193 Well, it's a collector's item. 1737 01:16:57,870 --> 01:16:58,829 Ditch it. 1738 01:17:00,151 --> 01:17:01,589 Chuckin' a gun in a garbage can. That's smart. 1739 01:17:01,671 --> 01:17:02,630 - What? - Oh, my God. 1740 01:17:02,670 --> 01:17:04,789 Okay! I know it was wrong. I self-corrected. 1741 01:17:04,870 --> 01:17:06,672 No, you didn't. I just asked you to throw... 1742 01:17:06,750 --> 01:17:08,946 Well, you made me throw it away. Okay. 1743 01:17:09,870 --> 01:17:11,711 Okay, there it is. Renault Enterprises. 1744 01:17:12,910 --> 01:17:16,554 The contract is probably in his private office, which is at the top of the building. 1745 01:17:16,590 --> 01:17:18,584 I'm guessing there's a safe, could be in the wall. 1746 01:17:18,670 --> 01:17:20,789 Could be behind one of those creepy paintings. 1747 01:17:20,870 --> 01:17:22,672 There's one guard on duty tonight. 1748 01:17:22,829 --> 01:17:24,305 Mike, I need you to distract the guard 1749 01:17:24,390 --> 01:17:27,027 while Claire lumbers in, and I follow behind like a cougar. 1750 01:17:27,749 --> 01:17:29,187 Okay, next, we head upstairs. 1751 01:17:29,230 --> 01:17:30,668 Claire, I'm gonna give you a head start 1752 01:17:30,750 --> 01:17:32,955 'cause I'm gonna take those motherfuckers 10 at a time. 1753 01:17:33,029 --> 01:17:35,512 You stand there with your mouth hangin' open, and pointin', 1754 01:17:35,589 --> 01:17:37,228 and I'll slide into home base. 1755 01:17:38,270 --> 01:17:40,197 Mike, I need you to distract the guard 1756 01:17:40,309 --> 01:17:42,227 by coming from the east, turning him around, 1757 01:17:42,309 --> 01:17:44,303 so when we approach, while you're sucking his dick, 1758 01:17:44,389 --> 01:17:45,741 we can get right past him. 1759 01:17:45,829 --> 01:17:47,142 So under no circumstances... 1760 01:17:47,189 --> 01:17:48,704 I'm sucking his what? 1761 01:17:48,949 --> 01:17:50,032 You're sucking his dick. 1762 01:17:50,109 --> 01:17:51,633 - I'm sucking his dick? - Oh. 1763 01:17:51,829 --> 01:17:52,951 Well, I'm not gonna suck his dick. 1764 01:17:53,029 --> 01:17:55,743 I'm the brains behind it. The brains never sucks the dick. 1765 01:17:55,829 --> 01:17:57,794 - Why am I sucking his dick? - I don't wanna suck his dick! 1766 01:17:57,869 --> 01:17:59,787 Claire doesn't wanna suck his dick! 1767 01:17:59,868 --> 01:18:01,987 How 'bout none of us suck that man's penis? 1768 01:18:02,028 --> 01:18:03,466 Yeah, what if nobody sucks his dick? 1769 01:18:03,548 --> 01:18:04,631 No dick suckin'. 1770 01:18:05,549 --> 01:18:07,591 Well, I worked on that plan a long time. 1771 01:18:07,629 --> 01:18:09,547 Fine. Fine, let's go to plan B. 1772 01:18:09,628 --> 01:18:10,989 Yeah, that sounds good. 1773 01:18:11,029 --> 01:18:13,675 If you're gonna be a baby and not suck dick, that's fine with me. 1774 01:18:26,828 --> 01:18:28,544 - Hey, there. - Hey! How you doing? 1775 01:18:28,588 --> 01:18:32,270 Is this 9800 Michigan? I'm late for a birthday party. 1776 01:18:32,347 --> 01:18:33,910 No, this is 9900. 1777 01:18:33,987 --> 01:18:35,511 - This is 9900? - Yeah. 1778 01:18:35,588 --> 01:18:36,710 - Well, wouldn't you know it? - Yeah. 1779 01:18:36,747 --> 01:18:37,869 Why are you dressed like that? 1780 01:18:37,948 --> 01:18:39,070 What are you dressed as? 1781 01:18:39,148 --> 01:18:40,116 I'm glad you asked me. 1782 01:18:40,187 --> 01:18:42,948 I am actually a demon. I'm a phoenix. 1783 01:18:44,747 --> 01:18:45,955 Pretty cool, right? 1784 01:18:46,467 --> 01:18:47,464 Are you into demons? 1785 01:18:48,228 --> 01:18:50,232 Yeah. I know a fair amount. 1786 01:18:50,307 --> 01:18:51,352 That is very cool. 1787 01:18:51,427 --> 01:18:52,865 You can touch the feathers if you want. 1788 01:18:52,908 --> 01:18:55,152 Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. It was a demon. 1789 01:18:55,228 --> 01:18:58,344 It's actually pronounced Quetzalcóatl. 1790 01:18:58,388 --> 01:18:59,663 He's talking too much. 1791 01:18:59,747 --> 01:19:02,067 He'd be a lot quieter with a penis in his mouth. 1792 01:19:02,587 --> 01:19:03,747 - I'm into demons. - You are? 1793 01:19:03,787 --> 01:19:04,909 - Yeah. - I think you said that. 1794 01:19:04,947 --> 01:19:06,625 I really am. I do a lot of fantasy role-play. 1795 01:19:06,667 --> 01:19:08,067 That's so weird. 1796 01:19:08,107 --> 01:19:09,871 Yeah, gets a little boring in here sometimes. 1797 01:19:09,907 --> 01:19:11,508 - I bet. - I whistle. 1798 01:19:11,586 --> 01:19:13,149 - You whistle? - I whistle a lot in here. 1799 01:19:13,226 --> 01:19:14,261 - Let's hear some. - Yeah. 1800 01:19:19,467 --> 01:19:21,106 Why is that one whistling? 1801 01:19:23,146 --> 01:19:24,431 Just kind of holding that one note. 1802 01:19:24,506 --> 01:19:27,546 Yeah, I like to do that. I like to play with bars and structures, things like that. 1803 01:19:27,626 --> 01:19:29,380 You got a real hefty lung capacity there. 1804 01:19:29,426 --> 01:19:30,864 I never got your name. 1805 01:19:30,946 --> 01:19:34,101 - Yeah, it's... It's Jim. Jimberly. - Jim? 1806 01:19:34,467 --> 01:19:36,145 - Jimberly? - Jimberly Stevenson. 1807 01:19:38,066 --> 01:19:39,389 What's going on? 1808 01:19:39,466 --> 01:19:41,949 It's a cramp! God, I got a cramp! 1809 01:19:42,026 --> 01:19:44,787 - Kenny! - All right. I can help you. I can help you. 1810 01:19:44,905 --> 01:19:47,072 - It's in the quad! No, it's in the quad. - Right here? Right here? 1811 01:19:47,146 --> 01:19:48,584 That's the top. That's the top. 1812 01:19:48,625 --> 01:19:49,708 Okay? Right there? 1813 01:19:49,746 --> 01:19:51,069 That's a little too close to the groin, Kenny. 1814 01:19:51,146 --> 01:19:52,105 That's a no-fly zone. 1815 01:19:52,146 --> 01:19:53,709 - All right? How's that? - Jelly. Back to square one. 1816 01:19:53,746 --> 01:19:55,146 - We're good? - Yup! Yup, yup. 1817 01:19:55,225 --> 01:19:56,625 - I don't wanna overdo it. - Phew. 1818 01:19:57,586 --> 01:19:59,110 Okay. Well, hey. 1819 01:19:59,146 --> 01:20:00,747 - Kenny, you're one of the good ones, man. - Yeah. 1820 01:20:00,786 --> 01:20:02,310 Yeah, not a lot of guys would do that for another guy. 1821 01:20:02,345 --> 01:20:04,061 - I'll do it for you. - Thanks, man. 1822 01:20:04,105 --> 01:20:05,869 - But we'll hang. We'll do it. - Yeah, we'll totally hang. 1823 01:20:05,905 --> 01:20:07,305 No big deal, buddy. All right, have a good one. 1824 01:20:07,386 --> 01:20:08,508 Bye, Jimberly. 1825 01:20:10,106 --> 01:20:12,263 That's an odd choice for a lobby sculpture. 1826 01:20:12,345 --> 01:20:13,304 He's an odd guy. 1827 01:20:13,385 --> 01:20:15,466 You know, they say he killed a man in Costa Rica. 1828 01:20:16,105 --> 01:20:17,064 What? 1829 01:20:21,545 --> 01:20:22,504 Oh, Jesus. 1830 01:20:22,985 --> 01:20:27,108 Jimberly. "J", "J". 1831 01:20:27,545 --> 01:20:29,386 Maybe it's "J-Y-M." 1832 01:20:29,865 --> 01:20:31,466 What the fuck? There's no Jimberlys. 1833 01:20:32,264 --> 01:20:33,980 Okay, well, where is it? 1834 01:20:34,024 --> 01:20:36,987 I'm sorry, I was a little tipsy last time I was here. 1835 01:20:38,984 --> 01:20:39,990 Oh. 1836 01:20:40,064 --> 01:20:41,866 - Oh, God! - Oh, my God. Guys, check us out! 1837 01:20:41,945 --> 01:20:44,102 We're total burglars. We burgle. We're burgling! 1838 01:20:49,304 --> 01:20:51,269 I feel like this is going great. 1839 01:20:51,304 --> 01:20:54,660 Michelle, you brought trash bags, baby wipes, shower gel. 1840 01:20:54,704 --> 01:20:56,909 Do you actually think we're gonna need rope? 1841 01:20:58,784 --> 01:21:02,025 Come on! Every story about a burglar always involves rope. 1842 01:21:02,104 --> 01:21:03,389 - That's true. - It's in all the movies. 1843 01:21:03,464 --> 01:21:05,545 I am a mogul, not a cat burglar. 1844 01:21:05,624 --> 01:21:07,580 I'm also the only one that thought to bring provisions. 1845 01:21:08,423 --> 01:21:09,947 Michelle, stop! I forgot, I'm sorry. 1846 01:21:10,704 --> 01:21:13,024 I stole the guard's keycard while he was massaging me. 1847 01:21:13,064 --> 01:21:14,262 You stole his key? 1848 01:21:14,623 --> 01:21:15,582 Yeah. Okay. 1849 01:21:18,824 --> 01:21:20,310 Somebody loves Mortal Kombat. 1850 01:21:20,383 --> 01:21:21,859 Let's just find the contract and get outta here. 1851 01:21:21,943 --> 01:21:23,304 - Okay. - I bet you he put it in his panic room. 1852 01:21:23,383 --> 01:21:24,821 That's what I'd do if I had a panic room. 1853 01:21:24,903 --> 01:21:26,830 It's probably voice-activated, high-tech stuff in here. 1854 01:21:26,863 --> 01:21:27,898 Open desk. 1855 01:21:27,943 --> 01:21:29,544 - Yeah. Open desk! - Open... 1856 01:21:29,583 --> 01:21:31,031 No, it was just manual. 1857 01:21:32,743 --> 01:21:34,661 I got it! In his desk drawer, 1858 01:21:34,743 --> 01:21:36,507 in a file marked "Darnell." 1859 01:21:36,583 --> 01:21:38,750 Probably overthought that one. It's classic Mike. 1860 01:21:38,823 --> 01:21:40,741 - I do that a lot. - Let's go! 1861 01:21:40,823 --> 01:21:42,865 Son of a bitch, Stephan! You left the door open! 1862 01:21:44,423 --> 01:21:45,382 Oh. 1863 01:21:46,063 --> 01:21:47,223 Well, who do we have here? 1864 01:21:48,143 --> 01:21:51,816 Michelle Darnell, the baker and Quetzalcóatl. 1865 01:21:51,902 --> 01:21:54,021 That is impressive. I mean, you gotta give him that. 1866 01:21:54,063 --> 01:21:55,626 I'm not even wearing the mask. 1867 01:21:56,263 --> 01:21:59,149 That wouldn't be our contract you're holding, would it, Michelle? 1868 01:21:59,583 --> 01:22:02,095 You wouldn't be foolish enough to back out of our plan, would you? 1869 01:22:02,183 --> 01:22:04,743 You know what? It was never her company to sell. 1870 01:22:04,822 --> 01:22:07,737 - I own 50% of it, so... - Yeah. 1871 01:22:07,782 --> 01:22:10,342 - I may have fudged the initial paperwork. - You what? 1872 01:22:10,382 --> 01:22:11,695 - But I am sorry. - So, I'm not... 1873 01:22:11,782 --> 01:22:12,741 - And I will rectify... - Michelle! 1874 01:22:12,782 --> 01:22:14,584 You will be. You will be. I'm sorry. 1875 01:22:14,662 --> 01:22:17,941 I wonder, how should I approach this? 1876 01:22:22,702 --> 01:22:25,502 Call the proper authorities and turn you in? 1877 01:22:25,541 --> 01:22:27,785 Or we could just talk it out amongst ourselves. 1878 01:22:28,581 --> 01:22:30,546 Do you know what the fascinating thing is 1879 01:22:30,662 --> 01:22:32,627 about the Japanese martial arts? 1880 01:22:33,702 --> 01:22:35,063 The discipline. 1881 01:22:35,222 --> 01:22:36,497 Ya! 1882 01:22:37,501 --> 01:22:38,776 The integrity. 1883 01:22:42,222 --> 01:22:43,622 The loyalty. 1884 01:22:45,781 --> 01:22:47,142 Okay, okay, stop! 1885 01:22:47,181 --> 01:22:48,341 I'll do it. 1886 01:22:49,381 --> 01:22:50,982 - I'll suck your dick. - What? 1887 01:22:51,020 --> 01:22:52,266 I don't wanna do it, 1888 01:22:52,341 --> 01:22:54,623 but if you promise not to hurt anybody in this room, 1889 01:22:54,661 --> 01:22:55,821 I'll suck your dick. 1890 01:22:55,901 --> 01:22:56,898 Mike, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1891 01:22:57,620 --> 01:22:58,905 - Oh, my God. Mike, no. - What? 1892 01:22:58,980 --> 01:23:00,581 - You don't want me to suck his dick? - No. 1893 01:23:00,620 --> 01:23:02,662 Wrong dick, wrong time, Mike. 1894 01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:03,659 - Wrong dick. - Wrong dick. 1895 01:23:03,741 --> 01:23:05,054 It was supposed to be the security guy's dick. 1896 01:23:05,141 --> 01:23:06,416 I was trying to be a team player. 1897 01:23:06,501 --> 01:23:08,582 Real eager, Claire. It's a red flag. 1898 01:23:08,661 --> 01:23:09,696 I don't like sucking dicks. 1899 01:23:09,781 --> 01:23:10,941 It's not my business. 1900 01:23:10,980 --> 01:23:12,265 Nobody's sucking my dick. 1901 01:23:12,340 --> 01:23:13,423 Fair enough. 1902 01:23:13,501 --> 01:23:16,224 Well, that's the first time I've heard you say that, but... 1903 01:23:16,260 --> 01:23:17,219 I'm going to plan B, 1904 01:23:17,300 --> 01:23:18,824 my tongue has always been my sword. 1905 01:23:18,900 --> 01:23:19,859 Okay. 1906 01:23:21,380 --> 01:23:23,298 Put the knife away, Ronald. 1907 01:23:23,580 --> 01:23:26,178 It's not a knife. It's a katana. 1908 01:23:26,220 --> 01:23:27,294 Katana. 1909 01:23:27,500 --> 01:23:30,664 You're not gonna cut anyone with that knife and we all know it. 1910 01:23:32,260 --> 01:23:33,382 Oh, shit! 1911 01:23:33,419 --> 01:23:35,778 Big bird, blondie, over there! Go! Scoot! 1912 01:23:35,820 --> 01:23:37,172 Okay. All right, easy! 1913 01:23:39,619 --> 01:23:40,616 Oh, shit. 1914 01:23:41,939 --> 01:23:44,020 Are you crazy, Ron? I'm bleeding! 1915 01:23:44,259 --> 01:23:45,659 Give me back what's mine. 1916 01:23:46,979 --> 01:23:48,139 Michelle! 1917 01:23:49,619 --> 01:23:50,971 - Oh, hello, old friend! - Get off! 1918 01:23:51,939 --> 01:23:52,984 Oh, God, I've missed this. 1919 01:23:53,059 --> 01:23:55,379 God, you keep that shit tight. No! 1920 01:23:57,540 --> 01:23:58,623 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1921 01:23:58,739 --> 01:23:59,861 Michelle, get up! Get up! 1922 01:24:02,179 --> 01:24:03,301 Just get up. 1923 01:24:03,899 --> 01:24:05,289 Okay, let's be reasonable. 1924 01:24:05,379 --> 01:24:07,536 You know, I'm sure we can come to some kind of an agreement. 1925 01:24:07,939 --> 01:24:09,061 Oh, we're past that point. 1926 01:24:09,099 --> 01:24:11,256 For the first time in my life, I'm trying to do the right thing! 1927 01:24:11,299 --> 01:24:12,977 This is not about me and you! 1928 01:24:13,058 --> 01:24:14,649 You don't even want our company! 1929 01:24:14,698 --> 01:24:18,092 That's true, but you screwed me over 25 years ago, you bitch. 1930 01:24:18,818 --> 01:24:20,582 I thought sending you to prison would help, 1931 01:24:20,659 --> 01:24:23,583 but cutting you to ribbons is the only way I'll get satisfaction! 1932 01:24:25,538 --> 01:24:26,660 Had enough? 1933 01:24:27,618 --> 01:24:28,577 Shit. 1934 01:24:28,939 --> 01:24:30,866 - Oh, check this out. - Fucking psycho! 1935 01:24:34,498 --> 01:24:35,457 Back up. 1936 01:24:37,538 --> 01:24:38,497 Look at that! 1937 01:24:38,818 --> 01:24:40,611 Just a figure eight. It's like double Dutch! 1938 01:24:40,698 --> 01:24:41,695 That's not how you do it. 1939 01:24:41,858 --> 01:24:42,855 Yeah, looks like I'm doing it. 1940 01:24:42,938 --> 01:24:45,095 Look at that. I can bob, somebody can weave. 1941 01:24:45,178 --> 01:24:46,175 You see this shit. 1942 01:24:46,298 --> 01:24:47,774 Ow! God! 1943 01:24:50,658 --> 01:24:52,096 Huh? Twelve years of baton. 1944 01:24:52,137 --> 01:24:53,815 Everybody likes to make fun of the baton girls. 1945 01:24:53,858 --> 01:24:56,178 Seven, eight, one, two, three, four... 1946 01:25:00,257 --> 01:25:01,580 Just give him the contract! 1947 01:25:01,657 --> 01:25:04,054 No! I'm getting our company back! 1948 01:25:14,937 --> 01:25:17,420 I will cut you in your white meat! 1949 01:25:17,497 --> 01:25:18,657 - What? - Oh, my God. 1950 01:25:19,337 --> 01:25:20,334 Ha! 1951 01:25:20,417 --> 01:25:21,855 Now we both have swords, huh? 1952 01:25:21,937 --> 01:25:23,337 What is happening? 1953 01:25:23,416 --> 01:25:24,499 Pretty fucking literal, Claire! 1954 01:25:24,577 --> 01:25:27,693 We're having a sword fight. We're both fighting with swords. 1955 01:25:27,777 --> 01:25:30,011 I haven't been with another woman since I've been with you. 1956 01:25:30,097 --> 01:25:33,376 Really? I've been with hundreds of men. 1957 01:25:33,696 --> 01:25:34,779 You whore! 1958 01:25:39,977 --> 01:25:41,252 Oh, shit! 1959 01:25:43,776 --> 01:25:44,735 Claire! 1960 01:25:47,056 --> 01:25:48,657 - Michelle, let's go! - Michelle, come on! 1961 01:25:49,857 --> 01:25:51,333 It's been so long. 1962 01:25:52,656 --> 01:25:54,660 That's enough! It's too hot. 1963 01:26:03,096 --> 01:26:04,611 Wait a minute! Why are we running up? 1964 01:26:04,736 --> 01:26:06,807 I don't know, it was the only door. I'm doing the best I can! 1965 01:26:06,856 --> 01:26:08,697 I should not be running with a sword! 1966 01:26:09,536 --> 01:26:11,454 Okay, all right! Okay. All right. There's gotta be a way down! 1967 01:26:11,496 --> 01:26:12,857 Get away from there. Come here. 1968 01:26:12,935 --> 01:26:14,287 Michelle, I'm not so good with heights, you know. 1969 01:26:14,335 --> 01:26:15,447 I'm feeling kind of tingly. 1970 01:26:15,496 --> 01:26:18,536 Claire, look at me. You have been on a helipad before and it's gonna be fine. 1971 01:26:18,615 --> 01:26:20,849 Right. Right, but then they weren't chasing us with swords! 1972 01:26:21,536 --> 01:26:24,662 You make a good point. Claire, I'm sorry I got you into this. 1973 01:26:24,735 --> 01:26:26,010 Michelle! 1974 01:26:26,055 --> 01:26:27,570 God, I need to do more cardio. 1975 01:26:27,615 --> 01:26:29,696 Go over there. Go over there! Be careful. 1976 01:26:30,655 --> 01:26:32,093 You left so suddenly. 1977 01:26:32,175 --> 01:26:34,975 Okay, let them go. I'm the one you want. 1978 01:26:36,255 --> 01:26:38,940 You know, I killed a man in Costa Rica with this sword. 1979 01:26:39,695 --> 01:26:42,850 I guess you would call it my killing sword. 1980 01:26:54,055 --> 01:26:55,493 You're terrible in bed! 1981 01:26:56,014 --> 01:26:56,973 I know. 1982 01:26:58,175 --> 01:26:59,249 Oh, my God! Michelle! 1983 01:26:59,774 --> 01:27:01,126 Whoa. Honey! Let her go, Claire! 1984 01:27:01,214 --> 01:27:02,815 She's making a fortune in heaven. 1985 01:27:03,935 --> 01:27:06,016 Hey, hey. Hey, smile! 1986 01:27:06,054 --> 01:27:08,413 Okay, everyone take it easy. 1987 01:27:08,454 --> 01:27:09,892 I've been filming this the whole time. 1988 01:27:10,374 --> 01:27:12,570 Take the sword away from her or I swear to God I'm gonna hit "send." 1989 01:27:13,134 --> 01:27:15,128 Yeah, you're not gonna hit "send" 1990 01:27:15,294 --> 01:27:17,298 because I'm gonna chop your hand off. 1991 01:27:17,374 --> 01:27:18,448 No! 1992 01:27:18,493 --> 01:27:19,730 Oh, my God. 1993 01:27:19,774 --> 01:27:21,452 - Brother! - No! 1994 01:27:21,534 --> 01:27:24,689 Son of a... Samurai! 1995 01:27:24,734 --> 01:27:25,817 Shut up! 1996 01:27:25,893 --> 01:27:28,654 Oh, thank goodness! Michelle, are you all right? 1997 01:27:28,734 --> 01:27:29,740 I'm fine! 1998 01:27:30,013 --> 01:27:31,854 I'm about to feel much better. 1999 01:27:33,014 --> 01:27:34,327 - No. - Yes! 2000 01:27:34,733 --> 01:27:37,053 Be wrong to ask for your forgiveness? 2001 01:27:38,693 --> 01:27:40,256 It's Ron talking. 2002 01:27:41,374 --> 01:27:43,061 - Oh, Ron! - I'm sorry. 2003 01:27:43,333 --> 01:27:46,488 Renault, do you still need me to hold them at bay? 2004 01:27:48,573 --> 01:27:49,532 Oh, my God. 2005 01:27:49,573 --> 01:27:50,579 Come here. 2006 01:27:51,493 --> 01:27:52,452 Ow. 2007 01:27:52,813 --> 01:27:53,772 Ow. 2008 01:27:55,133 --> 01:27:58,614 Michelle, don't make out with the sociopath! 2009 01:27:58,812 --> 01:28:01,334 I know. You make a good point. 2010 01:28:01,893 --> 01:28:03,456 But this is really good stuff. 2011 01:28:03,492 --> 01:28:04,652 Victim here. 2012 01:28:04,732 --> 01:28:06,017 Michelle! 2013 01:28:08,093 --> 01:28:11,535 Michelle! He literally tried to kill you! 2014 01:28:11,612 --> 01:28:13,683 I know. But his mouth didn't! 2015 01:28:21,013 --> 01:28:24,686 Okay! Attention, everyone! 2016 01:28:24,732 --> 01:28:28,405 I just wanna say what a great first year for the Darnell's Darlings. 2017 01:28:28,452 --> 01:28:31,578 And what a great first house for Rachel and Claire. 2018 01:28:32,971 --> 01:28:34,006 Cheers! 2019 01:28:34,052 --> 01:28:37,936 Finally, they have a decent guestroom so I can stay over when I get blasted. 2020 01:28:38,012 --> 01:28:39,613 - Michelle. - What's "blasted"? 2021 01:28:39,652 --> 01:28:41,809 I'll show you in about three drinks. 2022 01:28:41,932 --> 01:28:43,648 - No, she won't. - I'm kidding. 2023 01:28:43,732 --> 01:28:44,892 But if I can, 2024 01:28:44,972 --> 01:28:46,890 can I take a serious note for a minute, 2025 01:28:46,971 --> 01:28:49,483 and I just wanna say I'm proud of you. 2026 01:28:49,532 --> 01:28:52,092 You've built a great family home here for you and Rachel. 2027 01:28:52,132 --> 01:28:55,287 And I'm awfully glad that I get to be a part of that. So. 2028 01:28:56,011 --> 01:28:57,133 Thank you, Michelle. 2029 01:28:57,212 --> 01:28:58,295 Thank you. 2030 01:28:58,331 --> 01:29:01,534 Oh, and thank you for the new sofa! You really shouldn't have done that. 2031 01:29:02,131 --> 01:29:03,770 Oh, well, I should have, though. 2032 01:29:03,811 --> 01:29:07,253 I mean, the old one was very uncomfortable and very dangerous. 2033 01:29:07,291 --> 01:29:09,055 But don't worry. I don't wanna hear it. 2034 01:29:09,131 --> 01:29:11,729 I did donate it to just the right person. 2035 01:29:18,491 --> 01:29:19,613 Hannah! 2036 01:29:20,531 --> 01:29:22,813 Michelle Darnell just sent us a sofa bed. 2037 01:29:22,890 --> 01:29:25,767 You know what I call that? A victory. I win. 2038 01:29:26,531 --> 01:29:27,653 Whatever. 2039 01:29:29,370 --> 01:29:30,645 Oh, it is comfortable. 2040 01:29:32,891 --> 01:29:34,732 Ah. 2041 01:29:35,690 --> 01:29:36,725 It's comfortable... 2042 01:29:39,210 --> 01:29:40,485 Darnell! 2043 01:31:42,047 --> 01:31:43,965 I may have had a little bit of your Scotch last night 2044 01:31:44,046 --> 01:31:46,961 and I got into the most wonderful chip. 2045 01:31:47,046 --> 01:31:49,127 It was called a Dorito. 2046 01:31:53,366 --> 01:31:55,926 I've had wonderful Vermont ched... 2047 01:31:58,206 --> 01:31:59,932 I'm so sorry. God, I'm a hack. 2048 01:32:00,167 --> 01:32:01,519 Hi, Rachel. 2049 01:32:01,567 --> 01:32:02,765 It's Rachel! 2050 01:32:02,807 --> 01:32:04,207 That's what I said. 2051 01:32:04,847 --> 01:32:05,806 One more time. 2052 01:32:07,646 --> 01:32:10,043 I'm an icon. I am not a professional burger. 2053 01:32:13,526 --> 01:32:15,367 But I like burgers. 2054 01:32:15,766 --> 01:32:17,808 I took the guard's keycard. Oh, fuck me. 2055 01:32:17,846 --> 01:32:20,003 I took the card from the geek. What the fuck is it? 2056 01:32:20,086 --> 01:32:21,447 I took the guard's keycard. 2057 01:32:21,526 --> 01:32:22,648 I took the card from the geek. 2058 01:32:22,686 --> 01:32:24,201 Oh, my God. Again. 2059 01:32:24,245 --> 01:32:25,204 Katana. 2060 01:32:25,686 --> 01:32:27,239 Oh, gosh. Sorry. 2061 01:32:28,006 --> 01:32:30,959 Stop picking up wood! Michelle! 2062 01:32:35,446 --> 01:32:36,529 Here we go. 2063 01:32:36,565 --> 01:32:37,763 Oh, God. I'm gonna pee my pants. 2064 01:32:40,246 --> 01:32:42,365 Oh, my God. No. Please give me one more shot. 2065 01:32:43,605 --> 01:32:44,564 You pop... 2066 01:32:45,605 --> 01:32:47,762 When you left my life... Shit. Fuck. 2067 01:32:47,845 --> 01:32:50,568 What was that? I should've been so... 2068 01:32:50,645 --> 01:32:52,889 Meryl Streep would've just kept going. 2069 01:32:52,925 --> 01:32:55,600 I stand corrected. Do you want some nuts? 2070 01:32:57,404 --> 01:32:58,487 So we can get to the elevators 2071 01:32:58,524 --> 01:32:59,962 while you're sucking his dick. 2072 01:33:00,485 --> 01:33:01,645 Wait. I'm sorry. 2073 01:33:01,684 --> 01:33:06,363 I'm so sorry. I saw it coming from a mile away. I'm so sorry. 2074 01:33:07,004 --> 01:33:08,480 Okay. I can get in there. 2075 01:33:08,564 --> 01:33:11,239 I can get the contract and I can take back our country. 2076 01:33:11,284 --> 01:33:12,367 What do you mean "take..." 2077 01:33:12,484 --> 01:33:13,519 God damn it. 2078 01:33:14,884 --> 01:33:17,521 I object to parolees attending our meetings 2079 01:33:17,564 --> 01:33:19,606 and I'd like to put that in the official transcreept... 2080 01:33:21,004 --> 01:33:22,922 I made a good business... 2081 01:33:24,484 --> 01:33:27,284 You know what? You made a good business... 2082 01:33:27,324 --> 01:33:31,208 Really? You fucking kidding me? I can't say "decision." 2083 01:33:31,444 --> 01:33:32,681 - Language, Michelle. - Yeah. 2084 01:33:33,084 --> 01:33:34,196 Good night! 2085 01:33:35,764 --> 01:33:37,365 You think they'll ever yell "cut"? 2086 01:33:39,243 --> 01:33:41,113 No. 2087 01:33:42,348 --> 01:33:48,686