1 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,384 ♪♪ 2 00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:59,752 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 3 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,890 (DOG BARKING) 4 00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:15,768 (WHISTLING) 5 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,912 Make the same. It's good for you. 6 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:28,615 Spring air. 7 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,918 The way you're gulping it up, there won't be enough left to go around. 8 00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:34,754 Isn't it very hot for so early in April, Dr. Gurkakoff? 9 00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,389 I'm not surprised. 10 00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:39,659 This recent bombardment by ions from the sun. 11 00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:42,662 You see, temperature is due to the quantity of molecular... 12 00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:44,497 Hey, hey. Stop, stop, 13 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,332 if you don't want me to retaliate 14 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:49,235 by reciting all the tributary branches of the Amazon. 15 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,271 Incredible that only last week 16 00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:52,839 we were drawing lots for our hot water bottle. 17 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:56,309 Observe the forsythia or golden bell. 18 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,011 I never knew it to bloom so early. 19 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,719 (BELLS RINGING) 20 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,755 Gentlemen. Gentlemen. 21 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:11,925 It's 8:46, gentlemen. 22 00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,493 Oh, Potts. 23 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:14,894 Just once more around the park. 24 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,796 Before we go back to our mausoleum. 25 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:19,499 I saw a scarlet tanager 26 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,202 which must have flown all the way from Florida just to enjoy it. 27 00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:23,937 1,500 miles. Yes. 28 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,873 Our constitutional has taken up too much time already. 29 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,474 We're working under pressure. 30 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,376 After nine years of effort we are, 31 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:31,811 as the race track enthusiast might say, 32 00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:33,913 in the home stretch. 33 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,715 Three more years and our encyclopedia will be finished. 34 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,850 Let's not bog down in the middle of the letter "S." 35 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,852 PROFESSOR: All right. All right. That's done it. 36 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,621 It's now 8:49, gentlemen. 37 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,956 I, for one, am going back to work. 38 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,524 Teacher's pet! 39 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,825 Bertram Potts, the incorruptible. 40 00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:47,694 The eternal no-no man. 41 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:48,962 Back home. Back home. 42 00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:51,397 Oh, well, it may be raining this afternoon, anyway. 43 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,799 (WHISTLING) 44 00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,452 Good morning, Miss Bragg. 45 00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:13,586 Good morning, Miss Bragg. 46 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:14,988 Good morning, Miss Bragg. 47 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,456 Good morning, Professor. 48 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,590 Good morning, Miss Bragg. 49 00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:18,758 Good morning. 50 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,293 Good morning, Miss Bragg. 51 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:23,997 Good morning, Professor. 52 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:27,367 Gentlemen, before you get down to work, I have got something to say. 53 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,002 One of you made off with a jar of strawberry preserves 54 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,536 from my pantry last night. 55 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,805 I located the empty jar on the shelf behind 56 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,041 The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. 57 00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:38,344 That seems to indicate our historian, Professor Peagram. 58 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,846 I did no such thing, Miss Bragg. 59 00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,481 I'm not accusing anybody, 60 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:42,682 but until it's cleared up, 61 00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:44,017 I think we'll dispense with jam for breakfast. 62 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,052 Miss Bragg. 63 00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,387 Yes, Professor Oddly. 64 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,855 I am the one. 65 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:51,324 I was writing about strawberries 66 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:53,559 when suddenly I got a horrible craving. 67 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,795 A crime confessed is half atoned. 68 00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,632 Miss Bragg. Miss Bragg. 69 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,467 I--I--I had some material here. 70 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,702 What--What--What happened to it? 71 00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,270 What happened? 72 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,806 I blushed for my duster when I did your desk. 73 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,876 You'll find everything in the middle drawer, face down. 74 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:14,447 I'm just starting my article on sex, Miss Bragg. Any objections? 75 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,849 No, I trust you have more control of yourself than Professor Oddly. 76 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,724 Professor Gurkakoff, your window shade again. 77 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,327 Yes, Miss Bragg. 78 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,662 It's a crime to carelessly expose this good carpet. 79 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,065 You've just committed a more serious crime, Miss Bragg. 80 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,100 You have split an infinitive. 81 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:37,937 Never "to carelessly expose." Always "to expose carelessly." 82 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:39,605 I'm not here to juggle words. 83 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:42,408 It's my job to conscientiously see that this house... 84 00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,010 Whoa, you've just split another one, Miss Bragg. 85 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,345 Oh, oh. Professor... 86 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:46,846 Here's whatchamacallit. Who? 87 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,548 The lawyer for the Foundation. 88 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,016 And Miss Totten's with him. 89 00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,452 And this place looking like a flicker's nest. 90 00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:56,055 Yes, we're in for our semi-annual wigging, I suppose. 91 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,790 You'd better put your coat on, Potts. POTTS: Why? What... 92 00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,092 Better fix your tie. 93 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,493 Fix your hair, fix your hair. 94 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:01,861 Say, what is all this nonsense? 95 00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,629 GURKAKOFF: This nonsense is Miss Totten. 96 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:04,931 JEROME: And will you please smile at her? 97 00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,666 Say, this is all very undignified. 98 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,134 If you think you're being funny, I... Shh! 99 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:11,637 Morning, gentlemen. 100 00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:13,005 ALL: Good morning. 101 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,575 Won't you sit here, Miss Totten? 102 00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:17,643 It's a very nice morning, Miss Totten. 103 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:19,412 Would you like to speak, Miss Totten, or shall I? 104 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,447 You, please, Mr. Larsen. 105 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,583 I'll make this as brief as possible, gentlemen. 106 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:29,389 To date, $283,000 have been expended in writing this encyclopedia. 107 00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:33,059 You all realize that Miss Totten's father, the late Daniel S. Totten, 108 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,728 left only a quarter of a million dollars for this project. 109 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,463 Every additional penny will have to come 110 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,098 from Miss Totten's own pocket. 111 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:43,069 We would like a frank estimate of how much longer you will take. 112 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,838 Maybe three years, maybe four. 113 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,141 It cannot be. It just cannot be. 114 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:50,543 Oh, my dear Miss Totten, 115 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,945 you wouldn't discontinue your father's great gesture 116 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,114 towards human enlightenment? 117 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,917 "Human enlightenment." What nonsense, Professor Jerome. 118 00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,887 Papa had just one reason for ever starting this unfortunate enterprise. 119 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,688 Vanity. 120 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,624 He broke a blood vessel because he found his name was omitted 121 00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,492 from the Encyclopedia Britannica. 122 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:09,495 Because 30 pages were devoted to Thomas Alva Edison, 123 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,597 17 to Alexander Graham Bell, 124 00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:13,933 but not one line to Daniel S. Totten, 125 00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:15,535 the inventor of the electric toaster. 126 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:20,139 In our encyclopedia, 127 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:23,609 Mr. Totten shall receive an appropriate amount of space. 128 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,044 PROFESSORS: Yes, of course. Oh, yes, yes. 129 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:26,712 Three quarters of a page, I should think. 130 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,114 Three quarters of a page? 131 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:29,882 That's all he deserves. Is it? 132 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,818 You may go on, Mr. Larsen. 133 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,420 All we ask is that you bring this thing to a close 134 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,822 somehow or the other. 135 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:36,956 Get on with it. Slap it together. 136 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,525 Mr. Larsen, may I have a word? 137 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:40,993 Hello, Professor Potts. 138 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,863 Hello, Miss Totten. 139 00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:47,600 Mr. Larsen, you said, "Slap it together." 140 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,469 We're not the slapping together kind. 141 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,237 We have started an encyclopedia, 142 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,773 and we shall finish it as thoroughly as is humanly possible. 143 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,475 Another $100,000? 144 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,909 If necessary, yes. 145 00:07:56,943 --> 00:08:00,046 If our work goes slowly it's because the world, it goes so fast. 146 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:02,181 Take Professor Jerome, our geographer. 147 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,683 He has to rewrite all the time. 148 00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:05,151 And Dr. Magenbruch... LARSEN: I'm not interested. 149 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,854 Don't interrupt, Mr. Larsen. 150 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,056 Go on, Professor. 151 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,992 I'm-- I'm sure it's your wish that this monument 152 00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:15,995 to your father be finished as nobly as it was begun. 153 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:19,899 Uh... 154 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:22,468 I'm appealing to you, Miss Totten, 155 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,036 to your vision and to your heart. 156 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,105 Maybe I'm a little inarticulate, 157 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:29,041 but I've always regarded you as a... 158 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,610 Yes, Professor? 159 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,247 Always regarded you as a... 160 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,681 (EXCLAIMING) 161 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,016 Oh, Professor. 162 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,621 You know what I mean, Miss Totten. 163 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,789 Yes. 164 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,192 I warn you, Miss Totten, another four years of this, with... 165 00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:48,861 After all, it was Father's wish. 166 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,963 But, gentlemen, you will hurry 167 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,798 and finish the encyclopedia, won't you? 168 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,667 ALL: We will. Yes, yes, indeed. 169 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,903 Uh... 170 00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:00,106 Last year, when all the other professors came to my musical, 171 00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:03,142 where were you, Professor Potts? 172 00:09:03,175 --> 00:09:06,145 Uh, uh, sinus. But I shall be there this year. 173 00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:07,847 I shall look forward to seeing you again. 174 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,016 Goodbye. 175 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,183 Goodbye. 176 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,854 ALL: Goodbye, madam. Good day. 177 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:18,891 (MUTTERING EXCITEDLY) 178 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:21,227 That maneuver down my spine was very unnecessary. 179 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,495 Was it, my dear Potts? 180 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:23,796 Didn't it work? 181 00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:25,197 MAN: Hi. 182 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,832 I hope you don't mind. 183 00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,000 I came through the kitchen. 184 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,268 POTTS: Who are you? 185 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,037 I'm the garbage man. 186 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,573 I want to find out something about Cleopatra. 187 00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,608 Cleopatra? Yeah. 188 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,176 This is some kind of a library or school, isn't it? 189 00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:39,946 Neither, we are writing an encyclopedia. 190 00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,080 Icyclo-what? 191 00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:42,214 An encyclopedia. 192 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,783 A work which endeavors to compile 193 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:44,917 and catalog all human knowledge. 194 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,886 Say, that's just what I need. 195 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,221 MISS BRAGG: Young man, did you come through my kitchen? 196 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,190 That's right, sister. I'm not your sister, and you get out. 197 00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:52,258 Oh, now... 198 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,960 Miss Bragg. 199 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,027 Please, Miss Bragg, we find this intensely interesting. 200 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,862 Go on, please. 201 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,097 You can't tell me he's not infested with germs. 202 00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,932 Then go and get your gas mask. 203 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,300 Now, shoo, scat, skedaddle. 204 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,835 Please, won't you take a seat? 205 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,870 Thanks, bo. 206 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,739 I seen all these books through the window, 207 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,341 and I figured that maybe you can help me out. 208 00:10:08,374 --> 00:10:10,042 In what way, young man? 209 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,277 With this quizzola they got on the radio. 210 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,378 This what? Quizzola? 211 00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:14,280 Korn Krunchies Quiz-Quiz. 212 00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:17,650 Send in 100 box covers, and you stand to make a little dough. 213 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:21,053 Well, with my opportunities, I got about 3,000 box covers together. 214 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,189 Only some of the answers you have to send in to the questions. 215 00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:25,791 You know, like true or false. 216 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:26,859 (STUTTERING) You have those questions here? 217 00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:27,994 Yeah, sure. 218 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,062 Well, that's very interesting. 219 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,133 "Question one. Cleopatra died... 220 00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:36,268 "A. From swallowing a needle. 221 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,270 "B. From snake bite. 222 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,973 "C. From hiccups." 223 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,709 That's my province. I cover history. 224 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,412 The correct answer is "B." 225 00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:50,383 Cleopatra, queen of Egypt, daughter of Ptolemy XIII, born 69 BC, 226 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,319 killed herself on the 29th day of August, 30 BC, 227 00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,354 by placing an asp to her bosom. 228 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,422 A what? 229 00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:58,024 An asp. 230 00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,859 A small snake. 231 00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,394 Well, patch my pantywaist. 232 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,862 Well, well, next. 233 00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,897 "Which way would you say it? 234 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,232 "Two and two is five. 235 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,000 "Two and two are five. 236 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,902 "Two and two makes five." 237 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:12,004 Professor Potts covers English. 238 00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:13,072 Did you hear the question, Potts? 239 00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:15,107 I did. 240 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,709 As the verb is always governed by the subject, 241 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,011 the correct answer is, "Two and two are five." 242 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,346 Potts. 243 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:22,782 Oh, no, Potts. 244 00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:25,685 Correct for a grammarian perhaps, but not for a mathematician. 245 00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:27,153 Two and two are four. 246 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,688 (ALL CHUCKLING) 247 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,056 That's a good one. 248 00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,757 Nobody's gonna get that. 249 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:33,426 Well, I certainly am obliged. 250 00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,194 I could use a bundle of scratch right now 251 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:37,129 on account of I met me a mouse last week. 252 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,898 Mouse? What a pair of gams. 253 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:41,067 A little in, a little out, and a little more out... 254 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,301 I am still completely mystified. 255 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,370 Well, with this dish on me hands 256 00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,505 and them giving away 25 smackaroos on that quizzola. 257 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,741 Smackaroos? 258 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,309 Smackaroos? What are smackaroos? 259 00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:51,510 A smackaroo is a... 260 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,978 No such word exists. 261 00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:56,382 Oh, it don't, huh? A smackaroo is a dollar, pal. 262 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,951 Well, the accepted vulgarism for a dollar is a buck. 263 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:02,288 The accepted vulgarism for a smackaroo is a dollar. 264 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:05,224 That goes for a banger, a fish, a buck or a rug. 265 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:06,759 Well, what about the mouse? 266 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,060 The mouse is the dish. 267 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,128 That's what I need the moolah for. 268 00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:10,930 Moolah? Yeah, the dough. 269 00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:13,299 We'll be stepping. Me and this smooch... l mean, the dish, 270 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,868 I mean, the mouse. You know, hit the jiggles for a little rum boogie. 271 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,203 Please, please, not so fast. 272 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,404 Brother, we're going to have some hoytoytoy. 273 00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:20,039 PROFESSORS: Hoytoytoy? 274 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:23,209 Yeah, and if you want that one explained, you go ask your papas. 275 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,311 (HORN HONKING) 276 00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:30,015 That's Archie. His water's getting hot. 277 00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:31,884 Well, thanks again, gents. 278 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,086 And if you ever want to get into a contest sometime, 279 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,055 just call on me. 280 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:39,759 Maybe you've got the brains, but I got the box covers. 281 00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:40,760 PROFESSORS: Goodbye. 282 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:41,894 Goodbye, come again. 283 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:46,398 Well, kind of a breezy fellow, isn't he? 284 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,466 (MUMBLING IN AGREEMENT) 285 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,467 He seems a most likeable gentleman. 286 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,869 Yes. 287 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:51,003 And I'm an idiot. 288 00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:52,538 Idiot? Why? Why? 289 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,440 Miss Bragg. Miss Bragg! 290 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:55,875 What's the matter, Potts? Well, what's... 291 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:56,976 I'm going out. 292 00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:58,444 PROFESSORS: Going out? 293 00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:00,079 What's your prognosis on the weather, Gurkakoff? 294 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,380 Light showers toward the evening, but... 295 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:02,748 MISS BRAGG: Yes, Professor Potts? 296 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,350 Miss Bragg, my hat and my mackintosh. 297 00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:05,751 And put my luncheon sandwich in the pocket. 298 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,153 But... Immediately. 299 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,087 Yes, sir. What's happened? 300 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,522 What do you mean you're going out, Potts? 301 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,389 Where are you going? 302 00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:11,857 Research. 303 00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,425 Research? What research? 304 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,527 The garbage man. Didn't you hear him? 305 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:15,928 PROFESSORS: Yes. 306 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,564 Well, I didn't quite understand all he said. 307 00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:21,834 Nor did I. And it's catastrophic, gentlemen, catastrophic. 308 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,269 PROFESSORS: Why? How so? 309 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,571 I've just finished my article on slang. 310 00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:28,407 Twenty-three pages compiled from a dozen reference books. 311 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,409 Eight hundred examples. Well? 312 00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,845 Everything from the idiotic combination "absotively" 313 00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,380 to the pejorative use of "zigzag." 314 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,182 I traced the evolution of "hunky dory," 315 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:39,251 tracked down "skiddo" from "skedaddle." 316 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,487 Eight hundred examples and I may as well throw it in the waste basket. 317 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,189 Three weeks' work. 318 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:44,256 PROFESSOR: Potts, you're hysterical. 319 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:45,858 Outmoded. 320 00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,193 Based on reference books 20 years old. 321 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:50,162 Take "smooch." Take "dish." Take... 322 00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:53,632 Hoytoytoy? Hoytoytoy. Not one of them included. 323 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,602 Living in this house cut off from the world, I've lost touch. 324 00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,237 And it's inexcusable. 325 00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,972 That man talked a living language. 326 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,407 I embalmed some dead phrases. 327 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,942 But where are you going? 328 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,844 Out to collect new data, 329 00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:07,479 to tap the sources of slang, the major sources. 330 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,248 The streets. The slums. 331 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:10,916 The theatrical and allied professions. 332 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,418 Oh, now, Potts, don't you think that... 333 00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,253 I know it's regrettable, this loss of time, gentlemen, 334 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:15,421 but it must be done. 335 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,391 Leave the key under the mat. 336 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,559 I won't be home before 9:00. 337 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,861 Yes, sir. 338 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,232 I'm writing about the planet Saturn. 339 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,601 Do I insist on going to the planet Saturn? 340 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,035 (PROFESSORS CHUCKLING) 341 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:33,906 Maybe my data on sex is a little outdated, too. 342 00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,576 Just a moment, please. 343 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,245 Do you mind if I ride along with you? 344 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:40,613 Hop on, buddy. 345 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:43,949 Extra! Extra! 346 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,284 Nab Benny the Creep in cement killing! 347 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:47,152 Read all about it. 348 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,554 Corpse's dogs dunked into cement. 349 00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:49,588 Extra! Extra! 350 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,156 Ice-pick killing! 351 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,892 Link Benny the Creep with Big Tom! 352 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,326 Extra! Extra! 353 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,428 Seek man behind the man behind the murder ring! 354 00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,330 Extra! Extra! 355 00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,268 Hey, what are you, checking up on me or something? 356 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,036 Four words, blitz it, mister. 357 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,337 Blitz it, will you? You give me the mimis. 358 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:06,505 "Mimis"? 359 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:07,640 Yeah, the screaming mimis. 360 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,308 Extremely picturesque. 361 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:10,643 Young man, could I interest you in a research project 362 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,044 in which you could be very helpful? 363 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,445 And what you promoting? 364 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,281 Some kind of reform school? 365 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:17,349 If you would come to this address at 9:30 tomorrow morning, 366 00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:19,351 you'd be doing society a definite service. 367 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,420 Who are you anyway? Father Flanagan? 368 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,189 (INAUDIBLE) 369 00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:37,236 (ALL CHEERING) 370 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,229 (INAUDIBLE) 371 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:19,044 (BIG BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC) 372 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:43,736 (AUDIENCE ALL APPLAUDING) 373 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:54,313 ♪ Boogie! 374 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,115 ♪ Hear the rhythm rompin' 375 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:57,182 ♪ Boogie! 376 00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,484 ♪ You see the drummer stompin' 377 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:01,286 ♪ Drum boogie Drum boogie 378 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,421 ♪ Boogie! 379 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:03,589 ♪ It really is a killer 380 00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:06,225 ♪ Drum boogie Drum boogie 381 00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:08,594 ♪ The Drum Boogie Woogie 382 00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:09,728 ♪ Boogie! 383 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,597 ♪ The rhythm ought to bend you 384 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,065 ♪ Boogie! 385 00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:14,266 ♪ It's really gonna send you 386 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,635 ♪ Drum boogie Drum boogie 387 00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:17,736 ♪ Boogie! 388 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,304 ♪ It really is a killer 389 00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:21,774 ♪ Drum boogie Drum boogie 390 00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:24,410 ♪ The Drum Boogie Woogie 391 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,544 ♪ Boogie! 392 00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:26,645 ♪ You hear the piano rompin' 393 00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,386 ♪ See the drummer stompin' 394 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,394 ♪ Drum boogie Drum boogie 395 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:43,495 ♪ Drum Boogie! 396 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,197 ♪ The cats a killer diller 397 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,699 ♪ Drum boogie Drum boogie 398 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,436 ♪ The Drum Boogie Woogie 399 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,704 Come on, Krup, knock yourself out. 400 00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:27,739 ♪ Boogie 401 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,475 (MUSICIANS SCATTING) 402 00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:30,509 ♪ Boogie 403 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,900 ♪ Now, Mr. K. keep on a-drivin' 404 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,803 ♪ Just gently jam the jive in 405 00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:01,206 ♪ Drum Boogie The cat is rockin' with a solid eight 406 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,209 ♪ I tell you it's murder 407 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,778 ♪ The joint is jumpin' with a drum boogie 408 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,349 ♪ Drum Boogie 409 00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,751 ♪ Drum Boogie Woogie Yeah! ♪ 410 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,524 Three, four, five, 411 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:22,761 six, seven, eight, 412 00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:26,398 nine, ten, eleven, 413 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:29,835 12, 13, 14. 414 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:34,173 ♪ Aw, Boogie! 415 00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:39,645 Yeah! 416 00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:50,489 Young man, what is the name of that song? 417 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,590 Boogie. 418 00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:52,724 What does "boogie" mean? 419 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:53,959 Are you kidding? 420 00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,203 MAN: More! More! 421 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,337 WOMAN: Yeah! 422 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,838 Okay, what do you want, hep cats? 423 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,273 AUDIENCE: More of the same. 424 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:09,641 Same thing? AUDIENCE: Yeah. 425 00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:10,742 Okay, we'll mix it up a little. 426 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,377 Come on down, Krup. 427 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:13,912 You're gonna have to be awful quiet on this. 428 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,647 I'm gonna need a little help, okay, squitters? 429 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:16,848 CROWD MEMBER: All right. All right. 430 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,318 I want this chair, and we'll clean off the table. 431 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:20,752 A little juice down here, junior. 432 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:21,920 What's cooking, Sugar? 433 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,889 Match boogie, Krup. How about it? 434 00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:24,823 Want match boogie? You'll get it. Where's some matches? 435 00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:25,757 I have some right here. 436 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:31,630 You two go with me, 437 00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:32,998 and the rest of you take boogie 438 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:34,333 with you on the orchestra, right? 439 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,701 CROWD: Right. Okay. 440 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,936 Here we go, Krup, like buster's gang. 441 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,606 Very quiet. One, two. 442 00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:41,540 (WHISPERING) ♪ Boogie 443 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,575 (EVERYONE HUMMING) 444 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:44,409 ♪ Boogie 445 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:49,281 ♪ Drum Boogie Drum Boogie 446 00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:49,915 ♪ Boogie 447 00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,986 ♪ Drum Boogie Drum Boogie 448 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,921 ♪ The Drum Boogie Woogie 449 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,090 Boogie. 450 00:20:59,391 --> 00:20:59,992 Now, one, 451 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,227 two, 452 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,596 three, four. 453 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,631 ♪ Boogie 454 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,668 One, two, 455 00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:12,037 three, four. 456 00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:15,440 ♪ Drum Boogie Drum Boogie 457 00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:20,045 ♪ Drum Boogie Drum Boogie 458 00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:21,913 ♪ Drum Boogie Woogie 459 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,048 Shh. 460 00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:23,882 ♪ Drum Boogie Woogie 461 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:26,451 ♪ Drum Boogie Woogie 462 00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:30,622 ALL: Yeah! 463 00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:35,727 Young man, what is the name of that young lady? 464 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:36,995 Sugarpuss O'Shea. 465 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:38,764 An astounding specimen. 466 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:42,000 She jives by night, root, zoot and cute and solid to boot. 467 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,335 Are you kidding? 468 00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:44,002 No. 469 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:47,572 Come on, Sugar, quick. Yeah, quick is right. 470 00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:49,074 What's the fever? 471 00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:50,442 Listen, Sugie, you gotta take it on the lam. 472 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,410 Yeah, they're looking for you. Who? 473 00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:52,511 The District Attorney's office. Why? 474 00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:53,612 You've got to get dressed and out of here 475 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:54,446 before they slap a subpoena on you. 476 00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:55,747 A subpoena? Shh! 477 00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:56,848 Come on, we'll talk about it in the dressing room. 478 00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,450 Well, why can't you tell me now? 479 00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:02,521 What is all this subpoena business? 480 00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:04,489 On account of Benny the Creep had an accident. 481 00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:05,924 I never heard of Benny the Creep. Who's he? 482 00:22:05,957 --> 00:22:07,826 One of the boys. He was on kind of an errand 483 00:22:07,859 --> 00:22:09,328 when he grazed into a police car, that dope. 484 00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:10,929 And for that I've got to hide out? 485 00:22:10,962 --> 00:22:12,898 That don't make sense, Pastrami. 486 00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:14,633 No, you see, when the bulls gave Benny a ticket, 487 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,034 they saw Kinnick in the back of the car. 488 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,469 Dead. In the accident? 489 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:18,870 That's what Benny was trying to tell them. 490 00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,005 Only they saw Kinnick's feet. 491 00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,106 They was in a cake of cement. 492 00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:22,741 Benny was gonna dump him in the East River. 493 00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:24,343 That was the errand. 494 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:25,344 What is all this? Where do I come... 495 00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:26,445 Wait a second. 496 00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:27,746 Is Joe Lilac mixed up in this? 497 00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,047 The DA had him picked up about a half hour ago. 498 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:30,415 That's why we're here. 499 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:31,583 That's why you got to beat it. 500 00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:33,485 Joe Lilac mixed up in a murder? Yeah. 501 00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,053 I don't believe it, not for a second. 502 00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:37,356 He was framed, Sugie, honest he was, may I drop down dead. 503 00:22:37,389 --> 00:22:38,623 Wasn't he, Asthma? 504 00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:39,991 And there was them pajamas they found. 505 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,927 Pajamas? Yeah, that's where you come in. 506 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,463 Remember the dozen pink ones you gave to the boss last Christmas? 507 00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:46,732 Before you knew that the only color Joe Lilac wears is lilac? 508 00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:47,999 Yeah. So we handed them out to the boys. 509 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,768 And in the suitcase right beside 510 00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:51,103 Benny the Creep when he gets caught 511 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,038 is a pair with that big JL monogram. 512 00:22:56,808 --> 00:22:58,076 SUGARPUSS: Who is it? 513 00:22:58,110 --> 00:22:59,644 I'd like to speak to Miss O'Shea 514 00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:01,046 regarding an investigation I'm conducting. 515 00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:03,515 Okay, we'll take care of it. 516 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:04,883 Just a minute. 517 00:23:09,821 --> 00:23:10,722 How do you do, Miss O'Shea? 518 00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:12,524 Hello. 519 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:13,792 I hate to intrude like this, but mine is a very... 520 00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:15,527 Cut the corners. What is it? 521 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,929 Well, this inquiry is one of considerable importance. 522 00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:18,864 Stop beating up with the gums. 523 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,165 What was that? 524 00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:21,533 Get this. I don't know from nothing. 525 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:23,135 Oh, but you do. 526 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:24,503 Every word you say proves as much. 527 00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:25,570 Where's that paper? 528 00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:27,839 Subpoena? 529 00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:30,108 Suppose you tell the DA to take a nice running jump for himself? 530 00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:31,943 Bewildering. And you want to tell me 531 00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:33,512 you're not the person I'm looking for? 532 00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:35,414 Say, how many of you are on this job? 533 00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:37,048 The entire project? Eight. 534 00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:40,452 Oh. The other seven waiting outside? 535 00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:41,520 Oh, no. They're at home. 536 00:23:41,553 --> 00:23:42,587 Sound asleep I imagine. 537 00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:43,922 Asleep? 538 00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:45,690 Yes, they go to bed at 9:00 every night. 539 00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:48,460 Do you mean to tell me with crime what it is in New York... 540 00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:50,495 Say, are you a bull or aren't you? 541 00:23:50,529 --> 00:23:53,064 Well, if bull is the slang word for professor, then I'm a bull. 542 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,132 A professor? 543 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:56,034 Of English. Oh. 544 00:23:56,067 --> 00:23:58,069 I thought there was some misunderstanding. 545 00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,838 Sure was. 546 00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:01,807 You see, I'm conducting an investigation on current slang. 547 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,676 Would you object if I used you for observation and study? 548 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,445 Yeah, I would. If I could have your assistance 549 00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:07,612 for just a few days it would be... 550 00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:09,047 Out, out, Professor. 551 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,515 Then you won't help me? 552 00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:12,050 No. Out. Shove in your clutch. 553 00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:14,119 "Shove in your clutch." Exactly the kind of thing I want. 554 00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:16,721 Perhaps if I could come back here again when you have more time... 555 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:19,057 Save the gas. I won't be here after tonight. 556 00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:21,660 Well, look, here's the address of the Foundation 557 00:24:21,693 --> 00:24:23,862 if you should happen to change your mind by any chance. 558 00:24:23,895 --> 00:24:24,796 It's my residence, as well. 559 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:25,864 Listen, not now. 560 00:24:25,897 --> 00:24:27,899 Well, I'll just leave it here. 561 00:24:27,933 --> 00:24:29,701 Okay, scrow, scram, scraw. 562 00:24:29,734 --> 00:24:31,102 The complete conjugation. 563 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,637 All right, I'II scraw. 564 00:24:34,739 --> 00:24:35,807 Stop futzing around. 565 00:24:35,841 --> 00:24:37,576 You haven't got time to get dressed. 566 00:24:37,609 --> 00:24:38,710 All right. Only I... PASTRAMI: We'll go out the window. 567 00:24:38,743 --> 00:24:40,011 I think you're a pair of cracked dice. 568 00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:44,115 Excuse me. 569 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:44,983 DANCER: Oh, look out, mister. 570 00:24:50,555 --> 00:24:51,723 Good night. 571 00:24:52,891 --> 00:24:54,059 Miss O'Shea. 572 00:24:54,092 --> 00:24:54,993 What do you want? 573 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:57,896 Right there. 574 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:06,972 Open up. District Attorney's office. 575 00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:20,852 CAB DRIVER: Where to? 576 00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:23,522 Just keep cruising, Jack. 577 00:25:23,555 --> 00:25:26,591 Well? How about that warehouse on West 11th? 578 00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:27,893 No. Too many rats. Hey, wait a minute. 579 00:25:27,926 --> 00:25:29,594 Where are you taking me? 580 00:25:29,628 --> 00:25:31,596 Oh, it's just for the night, Sugarpuss. 581 00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:32,998 We can't take you to your place, they'll have it covered. 582 00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:34,633 Joe's apartment, they got sealed up like a can of coffee. 583 00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:36,167 Oh, I see. 584 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,269 Yeah, but you live someplace, don't you? 585 00:25:37,302 --> 00:25:38,937 Yeah, sure and the cops know where. 586 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:40,705 Yeah, hotel, I thought of a hotel, 587 00:25:40,739 --> 00:25:42,607 but they'll fan every hotel in town. 588 00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:43,775 Well, I could change my name. 589 00:25:43,808 --> 00:25:45,577 Listen, Sugie, why take chances? 590 00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:47,145 It's an awful nice warehouse. 591 00:25:47,178 --> 00:25:49,080 He says rats, big mouth does. 592 00:25:49,114 --> 00:25:50,749 Well, maybe a few little bitty mice. 593 00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:51,816 Uh-uh. That's out. 594 00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,318 Tomorrow we'll get hold of a lawyer 595 00:25:53,351 --> 00:25:54,252 and figure out something with more class. 596 00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:55,587 (SCOFFING) 597 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:56,988 Say, I got an uncle who's an undertaker 598 00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,124 and with business like it is, he's always got an extra slab. 599 00:25:59,157 --> 00:26:00,625 That's fine. That's all I need. No, no. 600 00:26:00,659 --> 00:26:01,893 Keep thinking. 601 00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:04,996 Hey, what's this? 602 00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:07,632 "Bertram Potts..." Oh, that's that professor jerk. 603 00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:08,934 (SCOFFING) 604 00:26:12,037 --> 00:26:13,038 Uh-oh. 605 00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:20,745 I never would have believed it. 606 00:26:20,779 --> 00:26:22,614 But how do you account for the name? 607 00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:23,982 Have I missed anything? 608 00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:26,117 No, I was just about to explain... 609 00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:28,620 You see, the word "puss" means face. Yes. 610 00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:31,990 As for instance, sourpuss, picklepuss. 611 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:34,726 Sugarpuss implies a certain sweetness in her appearance. 612 00:26:34,759 --> 00:26:35,794 Sugar, yes, yes. Yes. 613 00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:37,262 Never mind the etymology. 614 00:26:37,295 --> 00:26:38,930 Was she... Was she blonde or brunette? 615 00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:40,365 Yes, which? 616 00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:42,334 That, I don't know. I didn't notice. Oh. 617 00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:44,235 But her vocabulary, even in ordinary conversation... 618 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,004 Oh, you spoke to her? 619 00:26:46,037 --> 00:26:46,905 Yes, in her dressing room... 620 00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:48,006 In her dressing room? 621 00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:49,608 Backstage? Yes. 622 00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:50,942 (ALL WHISTLING) 623 00:26:50,976 --> 00:26:55,614 Unfortunately, she disclaimed any interest in our project 624 00:26:55,647 --> 00:26:58,149 in words so bizarre they made my mouth water. 625 00:26:58,183 --> 00:26:59,651 "Shove in your clutch," for instance. 626 00:26:59,684 --> 00:27:01,219 Why, it's amazing. 627 00:27:01,252 --> 00:27:03,121 Potts, could you tell us what was it like backstage? 628 00:27:03,154 --> 00:27:05,323 Very vivacious, I imagine. 629 00:27:05,357 --> 00:27:09,761 And perhaps, ballerinas giggling up and down iron staircases. 630 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,196 Around and around. 631 00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:12,364 Possibly wearing tights. 632 00:27:12,397 --> 00:27:14,099 Tights. 633 00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:17,135 And that ineffable smell of rice powder. 634 00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:18,837 On nude shoulders. 635 00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:21,706 Well. 636 00:27:22,941 --> 00:27:24,843 It's getting a bit late, gentlemen. 637 00:27:24,876 --> 00:27:27,178 Perhaps we had better get to bed. 638 00:27:27,212 --> 00:27:29,080 (MURMURING) 639 00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,656 Someday, I'll tell you my experiences 640 00:27:37,689 --> 00:27:39,391 with a young actress named Lillian Russell. 641 00:27:39,424 --> 00:27:40,692 Did you know her? 642 00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:42,727 I stood in the snow four hours to get to... 643 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:43,828 (DOORBELL RINGING) 644 00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:45,397 Is that our doorbell? 645 00:27:45,430 --> 00:27:47,332 But it's 12:25. 646 00:27:47,365 --> 00:27:50,769 It must be the statistics on San Salvador's saltpeter. 647 00:27:50,802 --> 00:27:52,170 I'll get it. 648 00:27:52,203 --> 00:27:53,371 I asked for it to be sent registered airmail. 649 00:27:58,309 --> 00:28:00,845 Hi-de-ho. 650 00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:02,981 Don't tell me I'm too late for class, Professor. 651 00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:04,015 Oh, my goodness gracious. 652 00:28:05,316 --> 00:28:06,918 Say, what is that? 653 00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:11,089 Those are my colleagues. Oh. 654 00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:13,058 I apologize for their lack of costume. 655 00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:14,859 Oh, that's all right, Professor. 656 00:28:14,893 --> 00:28:16,728 And the fact that I haven't got my tie on and... 657 00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:19,798 Oh, you know, once I watched my big brother shave. 658 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:22,701 Won't you come in? 659 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,936 Why not? 660 00:28:24,969 --> 00:28:27,872 Frankly, your coming here was the last thing I expected. 661 00:28:27,906 --> 00:28:29,207 Your "no" was so explicit. 662 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,710 Well, I got thinking it over 663 00:28:31,743 --> 00:28:33,445 and "Foo," I said to myself, "Who am I to give science the brush?" 664 00:28:33,478 --> 00:28:35,280 Then I take it you've reconsidered? 665 00:28:35,313 --> 00:28:37,048 Yeah, that's the big idea. 666 00:28:37,082 --> 00:28:38,016 Well. 667 00:28:39,017 --> 00:28:40,752 Oh, dear. Oh, dear. 668 00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:42,921 Look out. 669 00:28:44,155 --> 00:28:45,957 Well, that was Professor Oddly. 670 00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:47,792 Any more of them around? 671 00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:50,161 I hope not. 672 00:28:50,195 --> 00:28:52,230 Say, who decorated this place? 673 00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:53,965 The mug that shot Lincoln? 674 00:28:53,998 --> 00:28:56,000 This is our work room. Oh. 675 00:28:56,034 --> 00:28:58,236 The living quarters are upstairs. 676 00:28:58,269 --> 00:29:01,106 Whee, that's a lot of books. All of them different? 677 00:29:01,139 --> 00:29:02,207 I trust. Uh-huh. 678 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,341 May I have your coat? 679 00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:04,776 Yeah, thanks. 680 00:29:06,277 --> 00:29:10,048 Miss O'Shea. 681 00:29:10,081 --> 00:29:14,419 Oh, Greek philosophy, I've got a set like this with a radio inside. 682 00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:16,855 Are--Are you sure you don't want your coat? 683 00:29:16,888 --> 00:29:19,758 No, I'm fine. Except I've got a run in this stocking. 684 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,760 Well, how do we start, Professor? 685 00:29:21,793 --> 00:29:24,395 You see, this is the first time anybody moved in on my brain. 686 00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:26,898 Have you got some kind of a machine, 687 00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:28,333 an X-ray or a vacuum cleaner maybe 688 00:29:28,366 --> 00:29:29,901 that sorts out the words you want? 689 00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:31,736 What's your method, Professor? 690 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,238 Well, i-it's quite simple. If you will be here 691 00:29:33,271 --> 00:29:34,906 tomorrow morning not later than 9:30... 692 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,741 Tomorrow morning? 693 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,977 Why, yes. I have arranged a round table discussion 694 00:29:39,010 --> 00:29:41,846 with a few people of various backgrounds. 695 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,848 Uh-huh. You, uh... 696 00:29:43,882 --> 00:29:46,918 You don't think we could sort of begin the Beguine right now? 697 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:49,087 Well, it's nearly 1:00, Miss O'Shea. 698 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,256 Oh, foo, Professor, let's get ourselves a couple of drinks, 699 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:54,058 light the fire maybe, and you can start working on me right away. 700 00:29:54,092 --> 00:29:57,428 Well, I wouldn't think of imposing upon you at this hour. 701 00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:00,165 Listen, I figured on working all night. 702 00:30:00,198 --> 00:30:02,233 Well, any hasty random discussion 703 00:30:02,267 --> 00:30:04,035 would be of no scientific value. 704 00:30:04,068 --> 00:30:05,837 You see, I have to have my notes thoroughly prepared 705 00:30:05,870 --> 00:30:07,372 for the seminar tomorrow. 706 00:30:07,405 --> 00:30:08,473 Mmm-hmm. 707 00:30:08,506 --> 00:30:11,142 Okay. Where do I sleep? 708 00:30:11,176 --> 00:30:13,144 I--I don't know. Where do you live? 709 00:30:13,178 --> 00:30:14,546 Up on Riverside. But I'm going to sleep here. 710 00:30:14,579 --> 00:30:16,214 Here? 711 00:30:16,247 --> 00:30:18,216 You don't understand, Miss O'Shea. 712 00:30:18,249 --> 00:30:20,585 We're all bachelors with the exception of Professor Oddly, 713 00:30:20,618 --> 00:30:21,986 who is a widower. 714 00:30:22,020 --> 00:30:24,322 Why, no woman ever... 715 00:30:24,355 --> 00:30:26,491 Even Miss Bragg who takes care of our needs 716 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:29,093 goes home every night at 7:30. 717 00:30:29,127 --> 00:30:31,496 If you want me tomorrow morning at 9:30, you... 718 00:30:31,529 --> 00:30:32,964 Oh, I do, Miss O'Shea. 719 00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:33,998 But, uh... 720 00:30:35,934 --> 00:30:39,037 Even the most free-thinking people must respect the, uh... 721 00:30:40,371 --> 00:30:42,874 All right, feel that. 722 00:30:42,907 --> 00:30:44,375 Go on. Feel that foot. 723 00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:48,446 Okay, tootsie bell, what do you say? 724 00:30:48,479 --> 00:30:50,114 It's cold. 725 00:30:50,148 --> 00:30:51,149 It's cold and it's wet. 726 00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:54,152 Now, come here. 727 00:30:56,454 --> 00:30:57,589 Come here. 728 00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:01,359 Closer. 729 00:31:03,228 --> 00:31:04,229 Closer. 730 00:31:05,230 --> 00:31:07,432 Oh, come on, give. 731 00:31:07,465 --> 00:31:09,901 Hello, kids. Look down my throat. 732 00:31:09,934 --> 00:31:11,569 Go on. Look down. 733 00:31:11,603 --> 00:31:13,538 All right, right down there, look. 734 00:31:13,571 --> 00:31:16,241 I--I don't know what to look for. 735 00:31:16,274 --> 00:31:19,944 There is possibly a slight rosiness in the laryngeal region. 736 00:31:19,978 --> 00:31:21,980 Slight rosiness? 737 00:31:22,013 --> 00:31:23,982 It's as red as the Daily Worker and just as sore. 738 00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:25,583 Who are you? I'm... 739 00:31:25,617 --> 00:31:27,352 Who is he? 740 00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:30,321 This is Dr. Magenbruch, our physiological expert. Oh. 741 00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:32,190 This is Professor Robinson, law. 742 00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:34,359 Professor Gurkakoff... 743 00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:36,127 Ah, ah, ah, not so fast. Just let it creep up on me. 744 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,595 I'll get to know them. 745 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:39,264 Come here, physiology. 746 00:31:39,297 --> 00:31:40,698 For all I know, I've got a fever. Feel. 747 00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:42,233 It's possible. Certainly. 748 00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:43,601 And he wants to throw me out on my tin. 749 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:45,436 (ALL GROANING) 750 00:31:45,470 --> 00:31:47,538 There'll be no 9:30 for me if you let me go out in the rain now. 751 00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:49,507 Naturally not. 752 00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:51,309 With the streets cold and the subway hot and full of germs. 753 00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:54,045 Ho, ho, I'm a push-over for streptococcus. 754 00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:55,413 Can I have this now, kid? 755 00:31:55,446 --> 00:31:57,515 Pardon me. 756 00:31:57,548 --> 00:31:59,217 POTTS: We'll call you a heated taxi and furnish you 757 00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:01,019 with woolen socks and warm slippers. 758 00:32:01,052 --> 00:32:02,287 (ALL GRUMBLING) How do you like that? 759 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:03,321 Really, I don't understand you, Potts. 760 00:32:03,354 --> 00:32:04,555 Why take chances? 761 00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,124 With valuable material? 762 00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:07,225 You must think of your article, Potts. 763 00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:08,893 See, they get the point. 764 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,162 If I might venture a suggestion, 765 00:32:11,195 --> 00:32:12,563 why couldn't the young lady sleep in my room? 766 00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:13,965 What? What? 767 00:32:13,998 --> 00:32:15,099 Well! 768 00:32:15,133 --> 00:32:16,534 Professor Peagram! 769 00:32:16,567 --> 00:32:19,170 Oh, uh, I--I can bunk in with Professor Robinson. 770 00:32:19,203 --> 00:32:21,072 I sometimes do when there's an electric storm. 771 00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:22,941 Yes, he's afraid of thunder. 772 00:32:22,974 --> 00:32:25,143 Well, then it's all settled. 773 00:32:25,176 --> 00:32:26,644 Well, I guess I'll turn in. 774 00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:28,479 Can I have my coat? 775 00:32:28,513 --> 00:32:29,647 Of course. 776 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,149 Thank you. 777 00:32:31,182 --> 00:32:32,250 Hi-de-ho, fellows. 778 00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:34,052 PROFESSORS: Hi-de-ho. 779 00:32:34,085 --> 00:32:35,520 I'll show you to my room. 780 00:32:35,553 --> 00:32:37,121 Yes, we all will go. 781 00:32:37,155 --> 00:32:38,356 I know where my own room is, thank you, 782 00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:40,258 without any help from you. 783 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:40,959 (SHUSHING) PROFESSORS: Why shouldn't... Why shouldn't... 784 00:32:40,992 --> 00:32:42,126 I'll find it. Don't bother. 785 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,195 Just rough out the directions. 786 00:32:44,228 --> 00:32:46,197 Top of the stairs and the third door on the left. 787 00:32:46,230 --> 00:32:48,132 POTTS: Gentlemen, just a moment, please. 788 00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:50,301 Gentlemen, this is all highly irregular. 789 00:32:50,335 --> 00:32:51,736 What if this should come to the attention of the Foundation? 790 00:32:51,769 --> 00:32:53,171 And what about Miss Bragg tomorrow? 791 00:32:53,204 --> 00:32:54,472 What are you talking about? 792 00:32:54,505 --> 00:32:55,773 This is research, isn't it? 793 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,775 Yes. Certainly. 794 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,111 Who was that guy learned so much from watching an apple drop? 795 00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:03,982 Isaac Newton, 1642 to 1727. 796 00:33:04,015 --> 00:33:05,383 The law of gravity. 797 00:33:05,416 --> 00:33:07,418 Yeah, that's him. 798 00:33:07,452 --> 00:33:11,389 And I want you to look at me as another apple, Professor Potts. 799 00:33:11,422 --> 00:33:13,024 Just another apple. 800 00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:24,202 It fits you like a glove, you admit that, don't you? 801 00:33:24,235 --> 00:33:25,703 I like a little more effect around the shoulders, 802 00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:27,372 sort of a puffed sleeve. 803 00:33:27,405 --> 00:33:29,374 You know that JL could be Joe Lilac. 804 00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:31,476 Could be. 805 00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:33,077 Still claim it isn't yours? 806 00:33:33,111 --> 00:33:34,645 No, it isn't and never was. 807 00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,180 Come on, loosen up, Joe. 808 00:33:36,214 --> 00:33:37,715 It's 5:00 in the morning. 809 00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,318 How's about a little Benzedrine? 810 00:33:40,351 --> 00:33:41,219 Put it on Benny the Creep. 811 00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:42,286 Sure. 812 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,688 Take off your coat. 813 00:33:43,721 --> 00:33:45,456 I should have brought along my valet. 814 00:33:45,490 --> 00:33:47,158 I'm a sucker for comfort. 815 00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:48,559 Why, don't worry, Joe. 816 00:33:48,593 --> 00:33:50,128 You'll have your comfort. 817 00:33:50,161 --> 00:33:52,397 We'll have platinum bars on your cell, 818 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:54,432 and we'll heat up a chair for you, special. 819 00:33:54,465 --> 00:33:55,800 20 thousand volts. 820 00:33:57,468 --> 00:33:58,536 AC or DC? 821 00:34:02,407 --> 00:34:03,508 So those are your pajamas, huh? 822 00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:05,743 Yep. 823 00:34:05,777 --> 00:34:08,379 You always wear them three sizes too big? 824 00:34:08,413 --> 00:34:10,581 Allows for my chest expansion. 825 00:34:10,615 --> 00:34:12,517 And my fingers get kind of chilly at night. 826 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:14,552 And the JL? 827 00:34:15,787 --> 00:34:17,522 It stands for jellybean. 828 00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:19,057 It stands for lollipop. 829 00:34:20,358 --> 00:34:22,226 Take him away. POLICEMAN: Come on. 830 00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:24,195 That's fine. That's great. 831 00:34:25,696 --> 00:34:27,298 You never heard of Benny the Creep. 832 00:34:27,331 --> 00:34:29,100 Benny the Creep never heard of you. 833 00:34:29,133 --> 00:34:31,436 There was no murder. And there is no murder ring 834 00:34:31,469 --> 00:34:35,206 with you at the control boards pushing the buttons. 835 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:36,808 Good morning, Joe. How are you, McNeary? 836 00:34:36,841 --> 00:34:38,843 Morning, and pardon my glove, Mr. District Attorney. 837 00:34:38,876 --> 00:34:40,745 Good morning. 838 00:34:40,778 --> 00:34:42,814 All right, I've got a writ of habeas corpus. 839 00:34:42,847 --> 00:34:45,249 I've forgotten my reading glasses. 840 00:34:45,283 --> 00:34:47,485 Too bad. Come on, Joe. 841 00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:49,554 May be a couple of days before I find them. 842 00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:51,189 I won't stand for my client's... 843 00:34:51,222 --> 00:34:52,757 It's all right, McNeary. 844 00:34:52,790 --> 00:34:54,792 The man's trying to clean up the city. 845 00:34:54,826 --> 00:34:57,295 Why not give him all the cooperation we can? 846 00:34:57,328 --> 00:34:58,696 Does that mean you're going to talk, Joe? 847 00:34:58,729 --> 00:35:01,299 What about? 848 00:35:01,332 --> 00:35:04,102 Well, I'II make the pajamas talk. 849 00:35:04,135 --> 00:35:06,170 Here's the sales slip for them. 850 00:35:06,204 --> 00:35:07,572 They were bought by Miss O'Shea. 851 00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:09,107 She bought them for you. 852 00:35:09,140 --> 00:35:10,708 Or maybe you never heard of her. 853 00:35:10,741 --> 00:35:12,477 Maybe she isn't your girlfriend. 854 00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:14,512 Why bring a lady's name into this? 855 00:35:14,545 --> 00:35:16,380 I'II bring the lady in herself. 856 00:35:18,716 --> 00:35:20,184 Where do we stand with that O'Shea girl? 857 00:35:20,218 --> 00:35:21,619 What? 858 00:35:21,652 --> 00:35:23,287 Well, what about the deputies? 859 00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:24,789 All right, let me talk to Collins himself. 860 00:35:24,822 --> 00:35:26,390 What about the girl? Don't worry. 861 00:35:26,424 --> 00:35:28,826 We've got her in safe deposit temporarily. 862 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:30,495 Temporarily is not good enough. 863 00:35:30,528 --> 00:35:31,896 I've got something figured out. 864 00:35:31,929 --> 00:35:33,197 Nothing gloomy, I hope. 865 00:35:33,231 --> 00:35:34,332 Strictly legal. 866 00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:35,867 A wife can't testify against her husband. 867 00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:37,635 She's not my wife. Not yet, she isn't. 868 00:35:37,668 --> 00:35:40,138 But once they let you go, we'll pull a fastie. 869 00:35:40,171 --> 00:35:41,506 D.A.: Of all the incompetent... 870 00:35:41,539 --> 00:35:43,307 What sweetheart dreamed up that law? 871 00:35:43,341 --> 00:35:45,409 Don't give me that. You've had six hours. 872 00:35:45,443 --> 00:35:46,811 Tell those guys to get a jump on. 873 00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:51,616 Having some trouble, Mr. DA? 874 00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:53,651 Don't worry, Joe. 875 00:35:53,684 --> 00:35:56,254 And don't underestimate this office or the State of New York. 876 00:35:56,287 --> 00:35:59,190 I've got some boys that can find a needle in a haystack. 877 00:35:59,223 --> 00:36:00,391 Why, that's a cinch. 878 00:36:00,424 --> 00:36:02,627 All you have to do is get a horse to eat the hay 879 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:05,263 and then X-ray the horse. 880 00:36:05,296 --> 00:36:06,497 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 881 00:36:11,936 --> 00:36:13,771 Okay. Okay. 882 00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:16,941 Hold your horses. 883 00:36:19,810 --> 00:36:21,179 PROFESSORS: Good morning. 884 00:36:21,212 --> 00:36:22,346 Good morning. 885 00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:23,781 What time is it? 886 00:36:23,814 --> 00:36:25,683 This is worse than being in the army. 887 00:36:25,716 --> 00:36:28,252 Professor Potts started the round table discussion 10 minutes ago. 888 00:36:28,286 --> 00:36:30,688 He did? Say, that's divastigating. 889 00:36:30,721 --> 00:36:31,889 And this came for you. 890 00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:33,691 Who brought it? 891 00:36:33,724 --> 00:36:35,193 A couple of persons. 892 00:36:35,226 --> 00:36:36,627 Any message? 893 00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:39,597 Well, they spoke very picturesquely. Yeah, very. 894 00:36:39,630 --> 00:36:42,767 Yes, they said it's getting hot and hotter 895 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,636 and to stay in the icebox like a good little salad. 896 00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:47,772 And this is the dressing. 897 00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:49,307 The salad, huh? 898 00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:50,575 And we wondered what it meant. 899 00:36:50,608 --> 00:36:51,876 Yes, we did. 900 00:36:51,909 --> 00:36:53,544 Well, I'll tell you, sweetie. I... 901 00:36:53,578 --> 00:36:54,979 MISS BRAGG: Gentlemen. Gentlemen. 902 00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:56,681 Miss Bragg. Oh, my goodness. 903 00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:57,882 Oh, sounds like Mother calling. 904 00:36:57,915 --> 00:36:58,849 Kids, you better go. 905 00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:01,185 See you later. 906 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:03,254 Gentlemen, where are you, gentlemen? 907 00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:04,822 We're coming, Miss Bragg, we're coming. 908 00:37:04,855 --> 00:37:06,324 On our way. 909 00:37:06,357 --> 00:37:07,558 I would like to talk to you. 910 00:37:07,592 --> 00:37:08,693 I wanted to ask you, 911 00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:10,695 what were all your trousers doing in my kitchen? 912 00:37:10,728 --> 00:37:11,896 Well, I wanted mine pressed. 913 00:37:11,929 --> 00:37:12,863 Well, that accounts for one pair. 914 00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:15,199 I did, too. Mine, too. 915 00:37:15,233 --> 00:37:16,934 Seven pairs, all at once? 916 00:37:16,968 --> 00:37:19,270 What's going on in this house anyway? 917 00:37:19,303 --> 00:37:20,638 No constitutional this morning. 918 00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:22,340 You've hardly touched your breakfast. 919 00:37:22,373 --> 00:37:23,874 Professor Potts in the dining room 920 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,543 with a conglomeration of dubious characters. 921 00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:26,844 You, not at your desks. 922 00:37:26,877 --> 00:37:28,579 That's right, gentlemen, we have to work. 923 00:37:28,613 --> 00:37:30,348 Yes, we have to work. 924 00:37:30,381 --> 00:37:32,850 What were you doing upstairs, anyway? 925 00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:35,319 We took up a suitcase. 926 00:37:35,353 --> 00:37:36,921 Suitcase? Yes. 927 00:37:36,954 --> 00:37:38,322 Whose suitcase? 928 00:37:38,356 --> 00:37:39,457 We're very busy, Miss Bragg. 929 00:37:39,490 --> 00:37:40,725 I said, whose suitcase? 930 00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:45,329 Well, now, Miss Bragg, there is, uh... 931 00:37:45,363 --> 00:37:46,864 There is someone staying with us. 932 00:37:46,897 --> 00:37:48,299 Staying with us? 933 00:37:48,332 --> 00:37:49,767 PROFESSOR: That's it. 934 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,002 Who? Well, I... 935 00:37:51,035 --> 00:37:52,670 Who's staying with us? 936 00:37:52,703 --> 00:37:54,739 What's the matter? Cat got your tongues? 937 00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:56,540 Who's staying with us? 938 00:37:56,574 --> 00:37:58,909 (VOICE CRACKING) Well, I... Well, I... Oh, dear. 939 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,578 Professor Potts didn't tell you? 940 00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:01,946 No, and I want to know. 941 00:38:01,979 --> 00:38:03,948 Well, under the pressure of a very trying assignment... 942 00:38:03,981 --> 00:38:05,249 Yes? 943 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,450 He's, uh... 944 00:38:06,484 --> 00:38:07,585 He's, uh, Go on. 945 00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:09,220 He's taken a temporary assistant. 946 00:38:09,253 --> 00:38:10,488 ODDLY: Yes. 947 00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:11,589 Oh, so we're running a hotel now. 948 00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:13,257 Not exactly. 949 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:16,560 It seems to me that... Professor Robinson, 950 00:38:16,594 --> 00:38:18,296 is that one of your socks? 951 00:38:18,329 --> 00:38:19,730 No, not mine. 952 00:38:20,731 --> 00:38:24,368 I wish that it... 953 00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:27,305 Well, I know Professor Peagram explains the corset he wears 954 00:38:27,338 --> 00:38:28,773 as due to a floating kidney. 955 00:38:28,806 --> 00:38:30,041 What's the explanation of this? 956 00:38:30,074 --> 00:38:32,443 Say, kids, I'm stuck. 957 00:38:32,476 --> 00:38:34,612 Any of you can jerk a zipper? 958 00:38:34,645 --> 00:38:35,913 A zipper? 959 00:38:35,946 --> 00:38:38,349 Yeah, the darn thing's stuck... 960 00:38:38,382 --> 00:38:39,950 Hello, who are you? 961 00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,786 This is our Miss Bragg. 962 00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:43,754 Miss... Did you say Bag? 963 00:38:43,788 --> 00:38:45,389 Bragg. How do you do? 964 00:38:45,423 --> 00:38:47,391 Great-o. Do you know anything about zippers? 965 00:38:47,425 --> 00:38:48,893 Do you? Do you? Well, I... 966 00:38:48,926 --> 00:38:50,461 Well, do you? Do I? 967 00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:51,829 No, I don't, but Professor Gurkakoff. 968 00:38:51,862 --> 00:38:53,731 Okay. 969 00:38:53,764 --> 00:38:55,099 Well, it's purely mechanical. 970 00:38:55,132 --> 00:38:56,834 But look, you were married. 971 00:38:56,867 --> 00:38:58,536 No, I'm just a botanist. 972 00:38:58,569 --> 00:39:00,438 Look, kids, after all, you know, this is only a zipper. 973 00:39:00,471 --> 00:39:01,605 Come on, Gurky. 974 00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:03,641 Well, I can try. 975 00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:05,276 You know, I had this happen one night in the middle of my act. 976 00:39:05,309 --> 00:39:07,311 I couldn't get a thing off, was I embarrassed. 977 00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:09,413 How's chances for a cup of coffee? 978 00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:10,781 No breakfast after 9:00. 979 00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:12,917 You see, it's a rule. 980 00:39:12,950 --> 00:39:15,720 Just like my Aunt Beulah that brought me up, that's why I left home. 981 00:39:15,753 --> 00:39:17,588 There. Oh, swell. 982 00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:18,622 Now where is this little clambake of Professor Potts'? 983 00:39:18,656 --> 00:39:20,391 In the dining room, just across the hall. 984 00:39:20,424 --> 00:39:21,859 In the dining room. See you later, kids. 985 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:30,368 Don't tell me the jive session has beat off without baby. 986 00:39:30,401 --> 00:39:32,470 Shut the door please, Miss O'Shea. 987 00:39:35,973 --> 00:39:37,041 You're late. 988 00:39:37,074 --> 00:39:38,409 I won't waste time with introductions. 989 00:39:38,442 --> 00:39:39,510 These are our collaborators. 990 00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:41,712 Hi, kids. Hi. 991 00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,914 As I was saying, I've worked out a series of cross-references 992 00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,883 which I believe will be the best approach to our subject. 993 00:39:45,916 --> 00:39:47,385 Going like gangbusters, isn't he? 994 00:39:47,418 --> 00:39:48,886 Sit down, please. 995 00:39:52,590 --> 00:39:55,659 I don't think you'll find our venture dull, Miss O'Shea. 996 00:39:55,693 --> 00:40:00,064 The scientific conquest of an important subject is never dull. 997 00:40:00,097 --> 00:40:03,000 "Slang," as the poet Carl Sandburg has said, 998 00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:04,735 "is language which takes off its coat, 999 00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:05,669 "spits on its hands and goes to work." 1000 00:40:05,703 --> 00:40:07,071 (SPITTING) 1001 00:40:07,104 --> 00:40:09,707 Let us... Let us, too, then get down to work. 1002 00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:19,517 Well, we've accomplished a lot in the last three days, 1003 00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:22,119 and I'm very grateful to all of you. 1004 00:40:22,153 --> 00:40:24,688 There's another word I'd like to take up now. 1005 00:40:24,722 --> 00:40:26,824 It's recurred several times in our discussions, 1006 00:40:26,857 --> 00:40:28,926 and its meaning still eludes me. 1007 00:40:28,959 --> 00:40:30,594 I think it was Miss O'Shea who used it yesterday 1008 00:40:30,628 --> 00:40:33,063 in reference to the cuffs that I wear. 1009 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:34,698 The word is "corny." 1010 00:40:34,732 --> 00:40:36,066 Yeah, wouldn't you say they were corny? 1011 00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:37,802 Because of the cornstarch in them? 1012 00:40:37,835 --> 00:40:40,171 Because it's 1941. 1013 00:40:40,204 --> 00:40:42,206 Then corny means old-fashioned. 1014 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,008 Mmm, kind of hick, loose-tooth. 1015 00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:45,709 Mortimer Snerd. 1016 00:40:45,743 --> 00:40:46,777 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1017 00:40:46,811 --> 00:40:48,712 Oh, gee. 1018 00:40:48,746 --> 00:40:50,247 There's other kinds of corn, too. 1019 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,183 When you give your girl your fraternity pin, 1020 00:40:52,216 --> 00:40:54,552 well, if she says, "I'll keep it forever," 1021 00:40:54,585 --> 00:40:55,753 that's corny, too. 1022 00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:56,887 Yeah, or take a joke. 1023 00:40:56,921 --> 00:40:58,756 "That's no lady, that's my wife." 1024 00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:00,891 Making your baby's shoes into ashtrays. 1025 00:41:00,925 --> 00:41:02,560 That's corn. Right off the cob. 1026 00:41:02,593 --> 00:41:04,929 Well, let's stick to corn. 1027 00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:06,864 Is it synonymous with baloney? 1028 00:41:06,897 --> 00:41:10,034 No, it's anything that gets them in the sticks. 1029 00:41:10,067 --> 00:41:12,703 "Long time, no see," that's Indian corn. 1030 00:41:12,736 --> 00:41:14,505 Yeah, when a guy comes to see a girl and says, 1031 00:41:14,538 --> 00:41:16,073 "Let's turn off the lights, it hurts my eyes." 1032 00:41:16,106 --> 00:41:18,142 Brother, that's corn. 1033 00:41:18,175 --> 00:41:21,178 The implication is he's trying to pull some hoytoytoy. 1034 00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:23,948 You're catching on, Professor. Countrified, old-fashioned, sentimental. 1035 00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:37,995 Um... 1036 00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:39,763 Business kind of peaked, Jack? 1037 00:41:39,797 --> 00:41:42,566 Yeah, it takes up a lot of time being on the faculty. 1038 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:43,701 I'II buy the heap. 1039 00:41:43,734 --> 00:41:44,969 There's no call for you to do that. 1040 00:41:45,002 --> 00:41:46,670 Why not? I want to line my bureau drawers. 1041 00:41:46,704 --> 00:41:48,572 Gee, thanks. 1042 00:41:48,606 --> 00:41:50,040 Back in a second, Professor. 1043 00:41:50,074 --> 00:41:51,642 Oh, yes, all right. 1044 00:42:05,723 --> 00:42:06,624 PROFESSOR: Miss O'Shea. 1045 00:42:06,657 --> 00:42:07,691 Just a minute. 1046 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:13,163 Oh, Miss O'Shea. Yeah? 1047 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:15,566 We saw you pass the library arch, 1048 00:42:15,599 --> 00:42:17,735 and we kind of got a little problem on our hands. 1049 00:42:17,768 --> 00:42:19,036 Would you help us? Why, I'd love to. 1050 00:42:19,069 --> 00:42:21,071 Oh, good. 1051 00:42:21,105 --> 00:42:22,907 You're kind of spruced up today, aren't you, Professor? 1052 00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:24,808 Oh, the spats? Yeah. 1053 00:42:24,842 --> 00:42:26,677 I ran across them in my bottom drawer. 1054 00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:28,712 Why let the moths eat them? 1055 00:42:28,746 --> 00:42:30,648 Attaboy. What's your problem, sweetie? 1056 00:42:30,681 --> 00:42:32,816 Well, look. Let me start again. 1057 00:42:32,850 --> 00:42:34,818 ODDLY: But, Professor, I'm completely exhausted. 1058 00:42:34,852 --> 00:42:36,287 But we've got to get it right. 1059 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,055 Now, start with the right foot. 1060 00:42:38,088 --> 00:42:39,790 The left foot. The right foot. 1061 00:42:39,823 --> 00:42:40,724 Gentlemen, it's the left foot. 1062 00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:41,825 Which foot, please? 1063 00:42:41,859 --> 00:42:42,893 The right foot. 1064 00:42:42,927 --> 00:42:45,696 All right, but you're wrong. 1065 00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:47,965 One, two, three, four. 1066 00:42:47,998 --> 00:42:50,634 ALL: One, two, three. 1067 00:42:50,668 --> 00:42:52,736 But I can't "humph" from here. 1068 00:42:54,138 --> 00:42:57,141 We've been working on it ever since luncheon. 1069 00:42:57,174 --> 00:42:58,342 Holy smoke. 1070 00:42:58,375 --> 00:43:00,144 Start again with the left foot, come on. 1071 00:43:00,177 --> 00:43:01,912 The left foot. 1072 00:43:04,114 --> 00:43:06,350 ALL: One, two, three. Humph! 1073 00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:09,620 Well, it's the right motion. 1074 00:43:09,653 --> 00:43:11,155 But it doesn't feel right. 1075 00:43:11,188 --> 00:43:13,324 It doesn't look right. 1076 00:43:13,357 --> 00:43:15,292 Possibly it isn't right. 1077 00:43:15,326 --> 00:43:16,894 There was two "humphs." 1078 00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:18,996 Humph, humph. 1079 00:43:19,029 --> 00:43:21,131 Well, that would make it right. Humph, humph. 1080 00:43:21,165 --> 00:43:22,266 You're wrong, my dear Gurkakoff. 1081 00:43:22,299 --> 00:43:23,834 Mathematics can never be wrong. 1082 00:43:23,867 --> 00:43:24,969 Look here, I'II show you. 1083 00:43:25,002 --> 00:43:26,136 Stay there, Professor Oddly. 1084 00:43:26,170 --> 00:43:27,037 Show him. 1085 00:43:28,973 --> 00:43:30,641 One, two. 1086 00:43:30,674 --> 00:43:32,309 Professor Oddly, please stand up. 1087 00:43:32,343 --> 00:43:33,811 I beg your pardon. 1088 00:43:33,844 --> 00:43:35,646 One, two, three. Humph, humph. 1089 00:43:35,679 --> 00:43:37,014 Ah, ah, ah, just one. 1090 00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:39,683 The expert is here. We need you. 1091 00:43:39,717 --> 00:43:41,285 What's the trouble? 1092 00:43:41,318 --> 00:43:43,187 Well, that dance you showed us last night. 1093 00:43:43,220 --> 00:43:44,989 Yeah? Yes, maybe we're not very bright. 1094 00:43:45,022 --> 00:43:46,957 Professor Gurkakoff has been trying 1095 00:43:46,991 --> 00:43:48,892 to reconstruct it by compound fractions. 1096 00:43:48,926 --> 00:43:49,927 You'd better relax, lover. 1097 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,095 Who, me? Oh, thank you. 1098 00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:53,130 I can't find the common denominator 1099 00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:55,132 between the steps and the music. 1100 00:43:55,165 --> 00:43:56,734 You bet you can't, you're playing a polka, 1101 00:43:56,767 --> 00:43:58,102 and I taught you a conga. 1102 00:43:58,135 --> 00:44:01,238 How about some light in here? Come on. 1103 00:44:01,271 --> 00:44:03,240 Look, kids, this is the tempo. 1104 00:44:03,273 --> 00:44:04,875 (SUGARPUSS HUMMING CONGA TEMPO) 1105 00:44:04,908 --> 00:44:06,777 (EVERYONE HUMMING TEMPO) 1106 00:44:06,810 --> 00:44:08,045 Got it? 1107 00:44:12,082 --> 00:44:13,283 That's right, hit it. 1108 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:14,718 Hit what? 1109 00:44:14,752 --> 00:44:16,754 That's what I told you. 1110 00:44:16,787 --> 00:44:18,789 One, two, three... 1111 00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:20,357 Attaboy, Gurky! You're wonderful! 1112 00:44:22,393 --> 00:44:25,095 SUGARPUSS: Wing it, Professor. Hang on. 1113 00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:28,032 Good afternoon. 1114 00:44:28,065 --> 00:44:30,034 (CHATTERING) 1115 00:44:30,067 --> 00:44:31,368 How do you like the new suit? 1116 00:44:31,402 --> 00:44:33,771 What the well-dressed professor will wear. 1117 00:44:33,804 --> 00:44:36,273 A young lady chased me all the way up Fifth Avenue. 1118 00:44:36,306 --> 00:44:38,308 Probably to tell you to take the price tag off. 1119 00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:40,344 Did you... Did you get the--the records? 1120 00:44:40,377 --> 00:44:42,813 Well, they were all out of Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar. 1121 00:44:42,846 --> 00:44:44,782 Oh, dear, oh, dear. But I got Chicka Chicka Boom Boom 1122 00:44:44,815 --> 00:44:46,684 and Shoot the Sherbet to Me Herbert. 1123 00:44:46,717 --> 00:44:48,352 Oh, now watch us go. 1124 00:44:48,385 --> 00:44:50,988 (EXCITED MURMURING) 1125 00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:52,256 Thank you very much, gentlemen. 1126 00:44:52,289 --> 00:44:54,191 The same time tomorrow, all of you who can. 1127 00:44:54,224 --> 00:44:56,460 Okay, coach, so long. Goodbye. 1128 00:44:56,493 --> 00:44:59,229 This has given me a new interest in life, Doc. 1129 00:44:59,263 --> 00:45:01,231 Me, too. 1130 00:45:01,265 --> 00:45:02,900 I'm gonna use some of those two-dollar words hollering my papers. 1131 00:45:02,933 --> 00:45:06,737 Park Avenue bigamy scandal, most illuminating, most illuminating! 1132 00:45:06,770 --> 00:45:07,938 So long, Prof. 1133 00:45:07,971 --> 00:45:09,073 And thank you very much. 1134 00:45:09,106 --> 00:45:10,441 That's all right. 1135 00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:12,710 Excuse me for talking shop, 1136 00:45:12,743 --> 00:45:15,312 but your garbage certainly has cheered up these days. 1137 00:45:15,345 --> 00:45:17,915 Flowers, candy boxes, perfume wrappings 1138 00:45:17,948 --> 00:45:20,284 and an empty of that sweet French liquor. 1139 00:45:20,317 --> 00:45:23,253 Why, th-th-that's not our--our garbage, I'm sure. 1140 00:45:23,287 --> 00:45:25,823 Maybe it wasn't, but it was in your pail. 1141 00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:30,060 I'm leaving, sister. 1142 00:45:31,095 --> 00:45:33,397 (CONGA MUSIC PLAYING) 1143 00:45:33,430 --> 00:45:35,065 Miss Bragg. 1144 00:45:35,099 --> 00:45:36,734 May I have a word with you, Professor Potts? 1145 00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:38,335 That music, is it coming from next door? 1146 00:45:38,368 --> 00:45:40,304 From this door, and that's what I want to talk to you about. 1147 00:45:40,337 --> 00:45:42,005 Either she goes or I go. 1148 00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:43,874 You're speaking of Miss O'Shea? 1149 00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:45,743 I am, Professor Potts. 1150 00:45:45,776 --> 00:45:50,047 That is the kind of woman that makes whole civilizations topple. 1151 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:54,051 It's always been my pride to scrupulously, untiringly, efficiently... 1152 00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:56,286 Now, now, Miss Bragg, you've split that infinitive three times. 1153 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,856 I repeat, either she goes or I go. 1154 00:45:58,889 --> 00:46:00,257 I don't like ultimata, Miss Bragg, 1155 00:46:00,290 --> 00:46:01,692 but I shall look into the matter. 1156 00:46:01,725 --> 00:46:04,728 Don't look into the matter, look into the library. 1157 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,034 (PROFESSOR WHOOPING) 1158 00:46:12,369 --> 00:46:14,471 (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) 1159 00:46:21,278 --> 00:46:23,447 Hiya, Pottsy, come on, hook on! 1160 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:24,915 You should dance with us. 1161 00:46:33,023 --> 00:46:34,358 (MURMURING) 1162 00:46:34,391 --> 00:46:36,326 Hey, what's the big idea? 1163 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,061 As soon as you gentlemen get your breath, 1164 00:46:38,095 --> 00:46:39,563 we had better have a conference. 1165 00:46:39,596 --> 00:46:41,131 Will you please leave the room, Miss O'Shea? 1166 00:46:41,165 --> 00:46:43,167 But we've only just started. 1167 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,169 If you please, Miss O'Shea. 1168 00:46:45,202 --> 00:46:47,337 Loose-tooth again. 1169 00:46:47,371 --> 00:46:49,273 POTTS: Now, if you gentlemen will be kind enough 1170 00:46:49,306 --> 00:46:52,409 to get together all that you've written in the last three days... 1171 00:46:52,442 --> 00:46:53,977 (TAPPING AT DOOR) 1172 00:47:00,517 --> 00:47:02,886 Well, it's about time. 1173 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:03,854 I thought you two had amnesia and forgot where you parked me. 1174 00:47:03,887 --> 00:47:06,156 Hold the phone, Sugie. 1175 00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:07,324 Dropping me on the doorstep like a throwaway for a credit dentist. 1176 00:47:07,357 --> 00:47:08,425 You said it was for one night. 1177 00:47:08,458 --> 00:47:09,493 Sugie, for snap's sake. 1178 00:47:09,526 --> 00:47:10,961 You're as hot as a pistol. 1179 00:47:10,994 --> 00:47:12,963 The DA's got 100 men on the job. 1180 00:47:12,996 --> 00:47:14,531 Why, they're squeezing this town through a sieve, borough by borough. 1181 00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:16,567 You tell her, Pastrami. 1182 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,569 They're tailing us, Sugie. Took us three hours to get here from 48th Street. 1183 00:47:18,602 --> 00:47:20,437 Detoured through Jamaica, Long Island to shake them off. 1184 00:47:20,470 --> 00:47:22,039 Okay, you wait here. 1185 00:47:22,072 --> 00:47:23,073 I'II get my things together in two seconds flat. 1186 00:47:23,106 --> 00:47:24,508 Hey, wait a minute, Sugie. 1187 00:47:24,541 --> 00:47:26,410 We got a surprise for you. 1188 00:47:26,443 --> 00:47:28,212 You ain't leaving, not right yet. 1189 00:47:28,245 --> 00:47:30,214 I'm not? Joe's out, isn't he? 1190 00:47:30,247 --> 00:47:32,583 Yeah, but for how long? They're laying for you so they can get him back. 1191 00:47:32,616 --> 00:47:34,818 That's the surprise. 1192 00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:36,820 I'm supposed to stay in this old mans' home till the moths eat holes in me? 1193 00:47:36,854 --> 00:47:39,056 Say, when I say a surprise, I mean a surprise. 1194 00:47:39,089 --> 00:47:41,024 Go on, flash it to her. 1195 00:47:41,058 --> 00:47:44,061 Put on your sunglasses, Sugie. 1196 00:47:44,094 --> 00:47:46,864 Oh, boy. Seven grand boiled into that one, Sugie. 1197 00:47:46,897 --> 00:47:50,167 Oh, Joe doesn't have to bribe me just because I do him a little favor. 1198 00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:51,602 It's not a bribe, don't take it like that. 1199 00:47:51,635 --> 00:47:53,036 Let him try and get it back though. 1200 00:47:53,070 --> 00:47:54,271 Say, it's not your size, is it? 1201 00:47:54,304 --> 00:47:56,206 It'll do, if I have to whittle down my finger. 1202 00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:58,308 Third finger, left hand, Sugie. 1203 00:47:58,342 --> 00:47:59,409 Who do you think you're kidding? 1204 00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:00,577 The future Mrs. Joe Lilac. 1205 00:48:00,611 --> 00:48:02,479 Come again? Wedding bells, sweetheart. 1206 00:48:02,512 --> 00:48:04,147 Joe and the lawyer have got it all figured out. 1207 00:48:04,181 --> 00:48:06,016 Yeah, a wife can't testify against husband, see. 1208 00:48:06,049 --> 00:48:08,352 Oh, don't put it like that, you dope. 1209 00:48:08,385 --> 00:48:11,455 Say, he's been thataway about you ever since he first picked you out. 1210 00:48:11,488 --> 00:48:14,024 Yeah, but it took the DA to make him pop the question. 1211 00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,459 He sent you a love message. 1212 00:48:15,492 --> 00:48:17,027 He says to tell you he gets more bang out of you 1213 00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:19,196 than any dame he ever knew. 1214 00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:21,465 And he's the top, Sugie, do you realize that? He's the top. 1215 00:48:21,498 --> 00:48:23,400 Mrs. Joe Lilac. 1216 00:48:23,433 --> 00:48:26,136 Third Avenue girl in the major league at last. 1217 00:48:26,169 --> 00:48:28,305 Wait till they find out, those other dolls in the show. 1218 00:48:28,338 --> 00:48:30,474 Watch me break their crockery with this. 1219 00:48:30,507 --> 00:48:32,142 Here, here, the wedding's got to be a fast one, though. 1220 00:48:32,175 --> 00:48:34,478 Over in New Jersey someplace. 1221 00:48:34,511 --> 00:48:35,979 Now, this is the application for the license, and you sign right here. 1222 00:48:36,013 --> 00:48:37,915 Will I? You got a pen? Yeah. 1223 00:48:37,948 --> 00:48:38,882 Unscrew it for Mrs. Lilac. 1224 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,017 Right here, right here. 1225 00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:41,551 You know, I can't make up my mind. 1226 00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,420 Will I continue my night club career 1227 00:48:43,453 --> 00:48:45,589 or bust in on the Helen Hayes racket? 1228 00:48:45,622 --> 00:48:47,624 Say, this ought to be signed before a notary public. 1229 00:48:47,658 --> 00:48:50,427 I'm a notary public, permission expires 1943. 1230 00:48:50,460 --> 00:48:52,195 Were those pajamas a good investment. 1231 00:48:52,229 --> 00:48:54,097 You'll get the final dope by tomorrow morning. 1232 00:48:54,131 --> 00:48:55,565 Joe will phone around 10:00. 1233 00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:57,567 Now, meantime lie low and stick close to the Ameche. 1234 00:48:57,601 --> 00:48:58,969 Okay, the what? 1235 00:48:59,002 --> 00:49:00,270 The telephone. Oh. 1236 00:49:04,508 --> 00:49:05,943 Uh, Miss Sugarpuss. 1237 00:49:05,976 --> 00:49:07,377 You'd better duck. 1238 00:49:07,411 --> 00:49:08,478 Okay, 10:00, I'll be waiting. 1239 00:49:08,512 --> 00:49:09,546 Okay, okay. 1240 00:49:09,579 --> 00:49:10,414 Miss Sugarpuss. 1241 00:49:10,447 --> 00:49:11,882 Here I am. 1242 00:49:11,915 --> 00:49:13,550 Just getting a little air. 1243 00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:14,952 Oh, Miss O'Shea. 1244 00:49:14,985 --> 00:49:16,253 What's buzzing, cousin? 1245 00:49:16,286 --> 00:49:18,922 Professor Potts would... 1246 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:21,992 He, uh, wishes to, uh, speak to you. 1247 00:49:22,025 --> 00:49:23,327 Oh. ALL: Yes. 1248 00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:25,595 Oh, don't worry, kids, cheer up. 1249 00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:27,097 (CLICKING TONGUE) 1250 00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:28,265 Shut the door, please. 1251 00:49:28,298 --> 00:49:29,166 Sure. 1252 00:49:33,403 --> 00:49:35,172 Take this chair, please, Miss O'Shea. 1253 00:49:35,205 --> 00:49:36,707 This particular one? 1254 00:49:36,740 --> 00:49:38,075 Okay. 1255 00:49:41,211 --> 00:49:43,213 Open your mouth, please. Hmm? 1256 00:49:43,246 --> 00:49:45,515 Open your mouth. Wider. 1257 00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:48,118 Thank you. 1258 00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:49,553 Can I close it now? Please do. 1259 00:49:49,586 --> 00:49:50,721 Okay. Miss O'Shea. 1260 00:49:50,754 --> 00:49:52,222 Yeah? 1261 00:49:52,255 --> 00:49:53,957 Circumstances, under, over which 1262 00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:55,492 neither of us has the least control, 1263 00:49:55,525 --> 00:49:58,395 force me to a step I am most reluctant to take. 1264 00:50:00,097 --> 00:50:01,431 The sky is perfectly clear. 1265 00:50:01,465 --> 00:50:03,133 The thermometer stands at 76. 1266 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:04,534 Your throat seems quite normal. 1267 00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:06,103 I must ask you to leave. 1268 00:50:06,136 --> 00:50:08,438 Leave here? Why? 1269 00:50:08,472 --> 00:50:11,141 Miss O'Shea, I want you to look at our project, 1270 00:50:11,174 --> 00:50:14,378 I mean the encyclopedia, as a voyage, 1271 00:50:14,411 --> 00:50:16,680 a long, hard, tedious one. 1272 00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:19,216 A voyage from "A" to "Z." 1273 00:50:19,249 --> 00:50:21,151 Now, when the Foundation launched our vessel, 1274 00:50:21,184 --> 00:50:25,689 it very wisely followed an old rule of the sea, no women aboard. 1275 00:50:25,722 --> 00:50:28,458 It chose a crew of single men with nothing to distract them 1276 00:50:28,492 --> 00:50:30,327 from the course they were to sail. 1277 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:33,597 Say, junior, couldn't stop walking around a little, could you? 1278 00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:36,800 For four days, we have been drifting, Miss O'Shea. 1279 00:50:36,833 --> 00:50:39,202 The needle of the compass no longer points to the magnetic pole. 1280 00:50:39,236 --> 00:50:41,705 It points, if I may say so, to your ankles. 1281 00:50:41,738 --> 00:50:44,274 Oh, come now, Admiral, a bunch of grown men, 1282 00:50:44,307 --> 00:50:46,143 they've seen a pair of ankles before. 1283 00:50:46,176 --> 00:50:48,211 Not for nine years. 1284 00:50:48,245 --> 00:50:51,782 Except for the singularly uninspiring underpinnings of Miss Bragg. 1285 00:50:51,815 --> 00:50:53,650 (CLEARING THROAT) Now, my colleagues... 1286 00:50:53,683 --> 00:50:55,552 If you think I'm bothering them, I'll sit on my legs. 1287 00:50:55,585 --> 00:50:56,586 And I'll do it in my room or in the kitchen. 1288 00:50:56,620 --> 00:50:57,788 Too late. 1289 00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,656 You must leave, Miss O'Shea. 1290 00:50:59,689 --> 00:51:01,224 Well, I can't leave now. 1291 00:51:01,258 --> 00:51:02,559 How about that slang? 1292 00:51:02,592 --> 00:51:03,827 It's not finished yet. 1293 00:51:03,860 --> 00:51:05,796 There's a lot of words we haven't caught up with. 1294 00:51:05,829 --> 00:51:07,264 For instance, do you know what this means, 1295 00:51:07,297 --> 00:51:08,698 "I'll get you on the Ameche"? 1296 00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:09,800 No. Of course, you don't. 1297 00:51:09,833 --> 00:51:11,435 An Ameche is the telephone. 1298 00:51:11,468 --> 00:51:13,603 On account of he invented it. Oh, no, he didn't. 1299 00:51:13,637 --> 00:51:17,140 You know, in the movies. Oh, I see what you mean. Very interesting. 1300 00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,509 Make no mistake, 1301 00:51:19,543 --> 00:51:22,112 I shall regret the absence of your keen mind. 1302 00:51:22,145 --> 00:51:24,214 Unfortunately, it is inseparable 1303 00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:25,816 from an extremely disturbing body. 1304 00:51:25,849 --> 00:51:27,350 (WHISTLING) 1305 00:51:27,384 --> 00:51:29,719 All right. I'II go, only don't shove. 1306 00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:31,321 I'll leave sometime tomorrow. 1307 00:51:31,354 --> 00:51:32,489 Not tomorrow. Right away. 1308 00:51:32,522 --> 00:51:33,623 But I tell you I've got a... 1309 00:51:33,657 --> 00:51:34,691 I insist, Miss O'Shea. 1310 00:51:34,724 --> 00:51:36,426 Oh, Crabapple Annie. 1311 00:51:36,460 --> 00:51:38,328 Listen, Pottsy... Crabapple Annie? 1312 00:51:38,361 --> 00:51:40,163 Why, that implies that I'm puritanical and narrow-minded. 1313 00:51:40,197 --> 00:51:41,565 Yeah. 1314 00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:44,234 I am a perfectly normal man with perfectly normal instincts. 1315 00:51:44,267 --> 00:51:45,335 But an awful high boiling point. 1316 00:51:45,368 --> 00:51:47,170 Not even that. 1317 00:51:47,204 --> 00:51:49,439 I, too, have been acutely aware of your presence. 1318 00:51:49,473 --> 00:51:51,308 You have? Twice, to be exact. 1319 00:51:51,341 --> 00:51:52,776 Once when you leaned over my shoulder 1320 00:51:52,809 --> 00:51:54,711 to correct my spelling of the word "boogie-woogie," 1321 00:51:54,744 --> 00:51:56,513 I could feel your breath on my ear. 1322 00:51:56,546 --> 00:51:57,714 And yesterday afternoon 1323 00:51:57,747 --> 00:51:59,249 when you happened to stand against the window 1324 00:51:59,282 --> 00:52:01,118 with the sunlight in your hair. 1325 00:52:02,819 --> 00:52:04,621 What'd you do about it? 1326 00:52:04,654 --> 00:52:06,223 I... I left the room, 1327 00:52:06,256 --> 00:52:08,091 dipped my handkerchief in cold water 1328 00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:09,893 and applied it to the back of my neck right there, 1329 00:52:09,926 --> 00:52:11,394 where the nerve center is. That's cute. 1330 00:52:13,263 --> 00:52:14,698 You see, that's the basic difference 1331 00:52:14,731 --> 00:52:16,433 between me and the other professors. 1332 00:52:16,466 --> 00:52:18,835 We are all beguiled, but I am relatively young. 1333 00:52:18,869 --> 00:52:21,338 I can suppress temptation. 1334 00:52:21,371 --> 00:52:23,773 I generate enough energy to take precautionary measures. 1335 00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:25,475 Hmm. 1336 00:52:25,509 --> 00:52:28,445 A little sun on my hair and you had to water your neck. 1337 00:52:30,714 --> 00:52:33,383 Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it, Miss O'Shea, 1338 00:52:33,416 --> 00:52:35,318 but I'm merely trying to point out the fact 1339 00:52:35,352 --> 00:52:37,821 that the success of our enterprise is at stake. 1340 00:52:37,854 --> 00:52:39,923 I want you to... 1341 00:52:43,793 --> 00:52:45,562 Cooperate. 1342 00:52:45,595 --> 00:52:46,963 I want you to leave. 1343 00:52:48,465 --> 00:52:50,934 Oh, all right, I'll go. 1344 00:52:50,967 --> 00:52:52,402 But if I'm going to go anyway, 1345 00:52:52,435 --> 00:52:54,437 l guess I might as well spill it. 1346 00:52:54,471 --> 00:52:56,773 Spill it? Spill what? 1347 00:52:56,806 --> 00:52:58,608 Why do you suppose I came here in the first place? 1348 00:52:58,642 --> 00:52:59,743 To help with the research. 1349 00:52:59,776 --> 00:53:00,544 I did not. I came on account of you. 1350 00:53:00,577 --> 00:53:01,912 Me? 1351 00:53:01,945 --> 00:53:03,713 And not on account of you needed some slang. 1352 00:53:03,747 --> 00:53:05,482 On account of because I wanted to see you again. 1353 00:53:05,515 --> 00:53:08,151 Miss O'Shea, the construction "on account of because" 1354 00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:10,153 outrages every grammatical law. 1355 00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:12,789 So what? I came on account of because I couldn't stop thinking about you 1356 00:53:12,822 --> 00:53:14,691 after you left my dressing room. 1357 00:53:14,724 --> 00:53:17,260 On account of because I thought 1358 00:53:17,294 --> 00:53:19,362 you were big and cute and pretty. 1359 00:53:19,396 --> 00:53:20,764 Pretty? Yeah, I mean you. 1360 00:53:20,797 --> 00:53:22,499 Maybe I'm just crazy, but to me, 1361 00:53:22,532 --> 00:53:24,201 you're a regular yum-yum type. 1362 00:53:24,234 --> 00:53:25,268 Yum-yum? 1363 00:53:25,302 --> 00:53:26,336 Yeah, don't you know what that means? 1364 00:53:26,369 --> 00:53:27,604 No, we never got to that. 1365 00:53:27,637 --> 00:53:29,372 Well, we've got to it now, and I'm glad it's out. 1366 00:53:29,406 --> 00:53:30,974 I don't give a whoop whether the others went for me. 1367 00:53:31,007 --> 00:53:32,909 You're the one I'm wacky about, just plain wacky. 1368 00:53:32,943 --> 00:53:34,744 Can you understand that? Please, Miss O'Shea. 1369 00:53:34,778 --> 00:53:36,980 Oh, please, nothing. Maybe you can generate or whatever it is 1370 00:53:37,013 --> 00:53:39,316 for all that suppress business, but... 1371 00:53:39,349 --> 00:53:41,451 I can't. No, you're too tall. 1372 00:53:43,253 --> 00:53:44,321 Uh-uh. 1373 00:53:44,354 --> 00:53:45,922 What are you doing? Oh, you'll find out. 1374 00:53:45,956 --> 00:53:47,524 Those are Professor Gurkakoff's reference books. 1375 00:53:47,557 --> 00:53:49,526 And they're very... Now, isn't that just too bad! 1376 00:53:49,559 --> 00:53:51,361 Oh, that's perfect. What are you going to do? 1377 00:53:51,394 --> 00:53:53,797 Come here, I'm going to show you what yum-yum is. 1378 00:53:53,830 --> 00:53:54,998 Here's yum. 1379 00:53:56,733 --> 00:53:58,568 Here's the other yum. 1380 00:54:00,704 --> 00:54:02,272 And here's yum-yum. 1381 00:54:06,343 --> 00:54:08,378 Excuse me. 1382 00:54:08,411 --> 00:54:09,246 Hey, where are you going? 1383 00:54:16,686 --> 00:54:18,021 (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) 1384 00:54:20,790 --> 00:54:22,592 Did you see? 1385 00:54:22,626 --> 00:54:24,327 He practically stepped on my hand. 1386 00:54:24,361 --> 00:54:25,996 Three steps at a time. Shot out of a gun. 1387 00:54:26,029 --> 00:54:27,931 But where is he going? Why? 1388 00:54:27,964 --> 00:54:30,400 To get a razor strop, I hope, and I hope he knows where to apply it. 1389 00:54:36,406 --> 00:54:38,375 Well, Professor Potts? 1390 00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:40,543 Oh, uh, yes, Miss Bragg. 1391 00:54:40,577 --> 00:54:43,480 Will one of you call a taxi from the corner for Miss O'Shea? 1392 00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:45,382 Right away. 1393 00:54:45,415 --> 00:54:46,082 Thank you. 1394 00:54:52,055 --> 00:54:53,456 Fine business. 1395 00:54:53,490 --> 00:54:54,858 I beg your pardon? 1396 00:54:54,891 --> 00:54:56,393 What's the idea of running out on me like that? 1397 00:54:56,426 --> 00:54:59,462 Nothing, nothing. 1398 00:54:59,496 --> 00:55:02,332 The last few minutes only confirmed my former decision. 1399 00:55:02,365 --> 00:55:04,401 Your further presence here would be fatal. 1400 00:55:04,434 --> 00:55:06,002 You must get me out of your mind 1401 00:55:06,036 --> 00:55:07,604 just as I must get you out of this house. 1402 00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:09,539 Your hair's wet. 1403 00:55:09,572 --> 00:55:11,041 Well, never mind, please. 1404 00:55:11,074 --> 00:55:12,542 Well, it is wet. 1405 00:55:12,575 --> 00:55:13,810 Well, what of it? 1406 00:55:13,843 --> 00:55:14,978 Nothing, I just happened to mention it. 1407 00:55:15,011 --> 00:55:16,546 Well, forget it, please. 1408 00:55:16,579 --> 00:55:18,682 Okay, okay. 1409 00:55:18,715 --> 00:55:21,785 Now to get back to the subject under discussion. 1410 00:55:21,818 --> 00:55:25,021 It would be idle of me to deny that I, too, feel the affinity 1411 00:55:25,055 --> 00:55:28,692 that you mentioned a few minutes ago, very strongly. 1412 00:55:28,725 --> 00:55:30,627 After three years, when my work is finished, 1413 00:55:30,660 --> 00:55:33,697 perhaps we can take up where we left off. 1414 00:55:33,730 --> 00:55:37,867 In the meantime, I... I hope we can keep up some sort of correspondence. 1415 00:55:39,502 --> 00:55:41,571 Would you, Miss Sugarpuss? 1416 00:55:41,604 --> 00:55:44,874 Oh, Pottsy. 1417 00:55:44,908 --> 00:55:48,978 I know that's the way I feel, too, but it has to be. 1418 00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:52,949 Uh, Sugarpuss, uh, before you go, would you... 1419 00:55:56,686 --> 00:55:57,854 (POTTS CLEARS THROAT) 1420 00:56:00,690 --> 00:56:01,958 Would you 1421 00:56:03,727 --> 00:56:05,428 yum me just once more? 1422 00:56:13,002 --> 00:56:15,805 It seems so unnecessary. Yes. 1423 00:56:15,839 --> 00:56:17,540 Yes. The taxi's here. 1424 00:56:17,574 --> 00:56:18,875 I'll tell him. 1425 00:56:24,647 --> 00:56:27,751 Professor Potts, the taxi for that young woman is here. 1426 00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:30,920 The taxi. 1427 00:56:32,856 --> 00:56:33,790 Yes, what is it? 1428 00:56:33,823 --> 00:56:34,958 The taxi's here. 1429 00:56:34,991 --> 00:56:36,159 Taxi? What taxi? 1430 00:56:37,427 --> 00:56:38,928 Miss O'Shea's or mine. 1431 00:56:41,131 --> 00:56:43,099 It's all yours, Crabapple Annie. 1432 00:56:47,570 --> 00:56:48,171 (CLICKS TONGUE) 1433 00:57:05,922 --> 00:57:07,524 What is the delay, young man? 1434 00:57:07,557 --> 00:57:08,758 Delivery was promised for 10:00. 1435 00:57:08,792 --> 00:57:10,827 Sign here. 1436 00:57:10,860 --> 00:57:12,128 I trust that it's engraved correctly. 1437 00:57:12,162 --> 00:57:13,630 I guess so. 1438 00:57:13,663 --> 00:57:14,831 $39.85, wasn't it? 1439 00:57:14,864 --> 00:57:16,433 Yeah. 1440 00:57:16,466 --> 00:57:18,768 Here's $40. Keep the change. 1441 00:57:24,007 --> 00:57:25,041 You're sure the setting is solid gold? 1442 00:57:25,074 --> 00:57:26,743 Why, of course. 1443 00:57:26,776 --> 00:57:28,778 There was one $5 cheaper, but not nearly so handsome. 1444 00:57:28,812 --> 00:57:30,146 Let's see it, Potts. Yes, please. 1445 00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:32,549 No, no, it's wrapped so neatly, I hate to. 1446 00:57:32,582 --> 00:57:33,583 I'll take it, Miss Bragg. 1447 00:57:33,616 --> 00:57:34,784 Room service. 1448 00:57:34,818 --> 00:57:36,820 Now we've got room service. 1449 00:57:36,853 --> 00:57:38,988 I thought she might like this. 1450 00:57:39,022 --> 00:57:40,790 Thank you. It's nothing, really. 1451 00:57:40,824 --> 00:57:42,025 Be careful. 1452 00:57:45,495 --> 00:57:48,131 If I were the cream for that woman's coffee, I'd curdle. 1453 00:57:48,164 --> 00:57:50,900 I thought you meant to leave us in protest, Miss Bragg. 1454 00:57:50,934 --> 00:57:52,101 PROFESSORS: Yes. 1455 00:57:52,135 --> 00:57:54,504 A nurse does not quit her post 1456 00:57:54,537 --> 00:57:55,872 when an epidemic reaches a crisis. 1457 00:58:06,649 --> 00:58:07,917 SUGARPUSS: Come in. 1458 00:58:12,055 --> 00:58:13,957 Morning, Pottsy. 1459 00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:15,758 Good morning. I brought your breakfast. 1460 00:58:15,792 --> 00:58:19,195 Good, I'II have it right here in the snooze stand, thank you. 1461 00:58:20,196 --> 00:58:21,664 Uh, how do you take it? 1462 00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:22,732 Oh, just jav, no cow. 1463 00:58:22,765 --> 00:58:25,468 Just what? Black. 1464 00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:27,003 Sugar? Straight. 1465 00:58:28,204 --> 00:58:31,074 Toast? No, thanks. 1466 00:58:31,107 --> 00:58:32,141 You sure you don't want some toast? 1467 00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:33,676 Uh-uh. 1468 00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:34,978 Well, here's some jam to go with it. 1469 00:58:35,011 --> 00:58:36,045 It's blackberry. Mmm-mmm. 1470 00:58:36,079 --> 00:58:37,780 Never use it. 1471 00:58:37,814 --> 00:58:39,015 Not just one bite? Mmm-mmm. 1472 00:58:40,283 --> 00:58:42,118 Sit down and take a load off your feet. 1473 00:58:42,151 --> 00:58:44,587 Say, I found out what's wrong with "on account of because." 1474 00:58:44,621 --> 00:58:46,055 It's saying the same thing twice, 1475 00:58:46,089 --> 00:58:47,824 you know, like calling somebody a rich millionaire. 1476 00:58:47,857 --> 00:58:49,926 You call it, um, a pleo... 1477 00:58:49,959 --> 00:58:51,961 No, wait a minute, a plea... 1478 00:58:51,995 --> 00:58:53,296 A pleonasm? 1479 00:58:53,329 --> 00:58:55,131 Yes, that how you pronounce it? That's it. 1480 00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:56,866 Who told you that? Oh, this room's full of books about grammar. 1481 00:58:56,900 --> 00:58:58,535 I read for a couple of hours. 1482 00:58:58,568 --> 00:59:00,103 Well, I couldn't sleep, either. 1483 00:59:00,136 --> 00:59:02,639 I walked in the park till the sun came up over the East Sixties. 1484 00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:04,707 It took me all that time to gather my thoughts, 1485 00:59:04,741 --> 00:59:07,844 to analyze my impulses and clarify our relationship. 1486 00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:09,579 Have we got one of those? 1487 00:59:09,612 --> 00:59:12,081 It's a very important moment, a new chapter. 1488 00:59:12,115 --> 00:59:14,150 In fact, for me, it's the first chapter. 1489 00:59:14,183 --> 00:59:16,252 For what has my life been up till now? 1490 00:59:16,286 --> 00:59:18,688 A preface. An empty foreword. 1491 00:59:18,721 --> 00:59:20,890 You couldn't talk a little plainer, could you? 1492 00:59:20,924 --> 00:59:23,059 Not if you won't have a piece of toast. 1493 00:59:23,092 --> 00:59:25,828 At least just... At least look under the lid. 1494 00:59:29,299 --> 00:59:31,734 Oh, you went and bought me a present. 1495 00:59:31,768 --> 00:59:33,836 I hope it fits. 1496 00:59:33,870 --> 00:59:36,639 Gurkakoff calculated the circumference of your finger. 1497 00:59:46,215 --> 00:59:48,918 I woke up the jeweler at 7:00 this morning. 1498 00:59:50,853 --> 00:59:52,722 It's a lovely ring, Pottsy, really it is. 1499 00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:56,125 I hoped you'd like it. 1500 00:59:56,159 --> 00:59:59,062 It's our... It's our engagement ring. 1501 01:00:00,330 --> 01:00:02,832 Pottsy, do you mean you... 1502 01:00:02,865 --> 01:00:04,867 Yes, I did, I... 1503 01:00:05,768 --> 01:00:07,670 You mean you really... 1504 01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:12,642 Well? 1505 01:00:14,877 --> 01:00:16,245 What am I supposed to say? 1506 01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:18,781 Just say yes. 1507 01:00:18,815 --> 01:00:21,017 After you've declared your feelings, 1508 01:00:21,050 --> 01:00:22,785 it's the only logical step to take. 1509 01:00:22,819 --> 01:00:25,788 Oh, don't you think you'd better take 1510 01:00:25,822 --> 01:00:27,657 another turn around the park, Pottsy? 1511 01:00:28,992 --> 01:00:30,793 I'm just as surprised as you. 1512 01:00:30,827 --> 01:00:33,429 Marriage? I thought I was married to my books. 1513 01:00:33,463 --> 01:00:35,765 The only thing I thought I could care for deeply 1514 01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:38,301 was a correctly constructed sentence. 1515 01:00:38,334 --> 01:00:39,902 The subject, predicate, adverbial clause, 1516 01:00:39,936 --> 01:00:42,305 each in its proper place, and then you... 1517 01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,677 You see, I've had rather a curious life. 1518 01:00:47,710 --> 01:00:50,146 I graduated from Princeton when I was 13. 1519 01:00:50,179 --> 01:00:53,750 I recited Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright when I was a year old. 1520 01:00:53,783 --> 01:00:57,253 Before I was two, I could read fluently. 1521 01:00:57,286 --> 01:01:01,424 People like that just, well... 1522 01:01:01,457 --> 01:01:05,194 You see, dust just piles up on their hearts. 1523 01:01:05,228 --> 01:01:07,230 And it took you to blow it away. 1524 01:01:08,965 --> 01:01:11,401 Yeah, but I... 1525 01:01:11,434 --> 01:01:14,437 I didn't mean to blow it smack into your eyes. 1526 01:01:14,470 --> 01:01:16,439 Well, that's what happened, look. 1527 01:01:16,472 --> 01:01:18,141 Look inside the ring. 1528 01:01:20,910 --> 01:01:23,813 Oh, yeah, there's writing. 1529 01:01:23,846 --> 01:01:25,348 (SAYING, "RICHARD ILL") "Richard Ill." Who's Richard Ill? 1530 01:01:25,381 --> 01:01:27,083 Richard III. Oh. 1531 01:01:27,116 --> 01:01:31,154 Act 1, Scene 2, line 204. 1532 01:01:31,187 --> 01:01:32,822 There wasn't room for all the words. 1533 01:01:32,855 --> 01:01:34,424 What words? 1534 01:01:34,457 --> 01:01:38,027 Well, they go like this, quote, 1535 01:01:38,061 --> 01:01:41,230 "Look, how this ring encompasseth thy finger. 1536 01:01:41,264 --> 01:01:44,801 "Even so thy breast encloseth my poor heart. 1537 01:01:44,834 --> 01:01:47,804 "Wear both of them, for both of them are thine." 1538 01:01:50,373 --> 01:01:52,141 Unquote, I suppose. 1539 01:01:54,177 --> 01:01:57,113 I hope you don't think it's too corny. 1540 01:01:59,449 --> 01:02:00,750 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 1541 01:02:00,783 --> 01:02:02,118 Pottsy, I... 1542 01:02:02,151 --> 01:02:03,453 Come in. 1543 01:02:05,922 --> 01:02:06,823 There is a telephone call for you. 1544 01:02:06,856 --> 01:02:08,858 For me? 1545 01:02:08,891 --> 01:02:09,926 We didn't want to interrupt, but the man on the wire 1546 01:02:09,959 --> 01:02:11,260 said it was from your daddy. 1547 01:02:11,294 --> 01:02:12,795 Daddy? 1548 01:02:12,829 --> 01:02:13,763 That's what he said. 1549 01:02:13,796 --> 01:02:14,797 Oh. 1550 01:02:15,431 --> 01:02:17,166 Oh, yes, Daddy! 1551 01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:18,868 It's long distance. 1552 01:02:18,901 --> 01:02:20,403 Yeah, I'll get it. 1553 01:02:21,504 --> 01:02:22,939 How did it go, Potts? 1554 01:02:22,972 --> 01:02:24,340 She seemed quite overwhelmed. 1555 01:02:24,373 --> 01:02:25,808 That was to be expected. 1556 01:02:25,842 --> 01:02:28,911 You see, excuse me, you see, the customary procedure 1557 01:02:28,945 --> 01:02:31,247 is to approach the parents of the young lady first. 1558 01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:32,415 PROFESSORS: Yes. 1559 01:02:32,448 --> 01:02:33,282 Yes, I realize that. 1560 01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:37,353 Hello? 1561 01:02:37,386 --> 01:02:38,988 Hello, hello, it's Asthma, Sugie. 1562 01:02:39,021 --> 01:02:41,190 The boss wants to talk to you, 1563 01:02:41,224 --> 01:02:42,859 only we're relaying the call so it won't be traced, dig me? 1564 01:02:42,892 --> 01:02:44,527 Here she is, boss. Ready? 1565 01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,063 Okay, Sugie, don't use no names, though. 1566 01:02:55,905 --> 01:02:57,173 Oh, boy, did you call at the right minute. 1567 01:02:57,206 --> 01:02:58,808 Where are you? 1568 01:02:58,841 --> 01:03:00,376 Some whistle snort in New Jersey. 1569 01:03:00,409 --> 01:03:03,045 Rancocas, it's called. 1570 01:03:03,079 --> 01:03:06,182 Well, how you been, Sugie? I hear you're hiding out with the seven dwarfs. 1571 01:03:06,215 --> 01:03:07,817 Eight. And it's kind of indicated 1572 01:03:07,850 --> 01:03:09,185 I'd better get out of here quick. 1573 01:03:09,218 --> 01:03:11,487 Oh, no, nothing like that, it's just that 1574 01:03:11,521 --> 01:03:13,322 one of the professors got off the beam a little. 1575 01:03:13,356 --> 01:03:16,225 Yeah, a slight case of Andy Hardy. 1576 01:03:16,259 --> 01:03:17,393 Why don't you just take his umbrella 1577 01:03:17,426 --> 01:03:20,496 and whack him over the knuckles? 1578 01:03:20,530 --> 01:03:22,131 Well, everything's all set, babe. 1579 01:03:22,165 --> 01:03:23,933 The license comes through this afternoon. 1580 01:03:23,966 --> 01:03:27,203 I got a justice of the peace all lined up. 1581 01:03:27,236 --> 01:03:28,871 Yeah, that's what we're trying to figure out, 1582 01:03:28,905 --> 01:03:30,473 how to get you here. 1583 01:03:30,506 --> 01:03:32,108 No, I don't want you to take a train. 1584 01:03:32,141 --> 01:03:33,476 They'd spot you like a lead dime. 1585 01:03:33,509 --> 01:03:35,211 They'll be watching everything, 1586 01:03:35,244 --> 01:03:36,512 Holland Tunnel, Washington Bridge. 1587 01:03:36,546 --> 01:03:38,815 I don't even trust the highways. 1588 01:03:38,848 --> 01:03:40,883 I don't care if I have to hook a ride on a hearse. 1589 01:03:40,917 --> 01:03:42,819 I want to get out of here. 1590 01:03:42,852 --> 01:03:44,120 (DOOR CLOSES) I don't like it. I want to blow. I... 1591 01:03:44,954 --> 01:03:46,289 Oh... 1592 01:03:46,322 --> 01:03:49,192 Well, um, what other news is there, Daddy? 1593 01:03:49,225 --> 01:03:52,328 Everything fine at home? Is Mom all right? 1594 01:03:56,599 --> 01:04:00,970 For Easter? Well, I, uh... I don't know, Daddy. 1595 01:04:01,003 --> 01:04:02,972 Um, just a minute. 1596 01:04:03,005 --> 01:04:04,974 Uh, I won't be long, just wait in the library. 1597 01:04:05,007 --> 01:04:07,476 Do you mind if I have a few words with your father? 1598 01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:10,213 Sure. 1599 01:04:10,246 --> 01:04:12,181 Um... 1600 01:04:12,215 --> 01:04:15,885 Daddy, this is the professor I was telling you about. 1601 01:04:20,089 --> 01:04:24,360 Mr. O'Shea? My name is Bertram Potts. 1602 01:04:24,393 --> 01:04:27,029 I judge your daughter has already told you 1603 01:04:27,063 --> 01:04:29,031 of my aspirations in her regard. 1604 01:04:30,333 --> 01:04:32,635 Hey, are you crazy? 1605 01:04:32,668 --> 01:04:35,905 Oh, you're quite right, Mr. O'Shea. 1606 01:04:35,938 --> 01:04:37,506 It's inexcusable for one to introduce oneself 1607 01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:40,576 to one's future father-in-law over the telephone. 1608 01:04:41,644 --> 01:04:44,013 But before even considering 1609 01:04:44,046 --> 01:04:45,982 entrusting your daughter's future happiness to my care, 1610 01:04:46,015 --> 01:04:48,351 I'm sure you want to know all about me. 1611 01:04:50,386 --> 01:04:52,021 Well, as character references, 1612 01:04:52,054 --> 01:04:53,522 you might get in touch with the head 1613 01:04:53,556 --> 01:04:55,191 of the Rockefeller Foundation, 1614 01:04:55,224 --> 01:04:57,660 and the President of Princeton, my own university. 1615 01:05:00,029 --> 01:05:02,298 Well, except for occasional trouble with my left sinus, 1616 01:05:02,331 --> 01:05:05,568 I am in excellent physical condition. 1617 01:05:05,601 --> 01:05:06,969 Mmm-hmm, how's your digestion, son? 1618 01:05:08,404 --> 01:05:09,906 Good. 1619 01:05:09,939 --> 01:05:14,076 I draw a salary of $3,200 per year. 1620 01:05:14,110 --> 01:05:17,280 Uh, in the last election, I voted the straight Republican ticket. 1621 01:05:17,313 --> 01:05:19,215 Oh, that's fine, that's fine. 1622 01:05:21,017 --> 01:05:24,320 I just had a brain flash, McNeary. 1623 01:05:24,353 --> 01:05:25,988 What did you say your first name is, son? 1624 01:05:26,022 --> 01:05:28,658 Bertram. 1625 01:05:28,691 --> 01:05:30,993 Well, Bertram, I don't know if Sugarpuss told you, 1626 01:05:31,027 --> 01:05:33,329 but, uh, she's our only child. 1627 01:05:33,362 --> 01:05:36,632 We kind of never figured a professor in the family, 1628 01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:39,402 but if that's what she wants, then that's fine with us. 1629 01:05:39,435 --> 01:05:41,037 Well, I shall do everything I can, 1630 01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:42,605 Mr. O'Shea, to make her happy. 1631 01:05:42,638 --> 01:05:45,174 Just one thing more, Bertram. 1632 01:05:45,207 --> 01:05:49,545 Mom is kind of an invalid, doesn't do any traveling. 1633 01:05:49,578 --> 01:05:52,214 But it would just break her heart not to see Sugarpuss married. 1634 01:05:52,248 --> 01:05:53,582 You understand that? 1635 01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:55,084 Of course, sir. 1636 01:05:55,117 --> 01:05:59,155 My mother's dead, but I know it would have... 1637 01:05:59,188 --> 01:06:02,425 It would have made her happy to be present. 1638 01:06:02,458 --> 01:06:05,528 So, suppose you just bring the kid right down here. 1639 01:06:05,561 --> 01:06:10,099 We want to see you and let's have the ceremony in our hometown. 1640 01:06:10,132 --> 01:06:13,135 Why, of course, Mr. O'Shea. 1641 01:06:13,169 --> 01:06:15,338 May I call you Father, Mr. O'Shea? 1642 01:06:16,539 --> 01:06:18,240 Thank you, Father. 1643 01:06:19,675 --> 01:06:21,711 It was better than I hoped for. 1644 01:06:21,744 --> 01:06:23,512 Your father wants to talk to you. 1645 01:06:27,717 --> 01:06:30,219 Well, Sugie, this solves your transportation. 1646 01:06:30,252 --> 01:06:32,254 That Jack was made-to-order. 1647 01:06:32,288 --> 01:06:36,258 Who's gonna stop the Rockefeller Foundation and Princeton University? 1648 01:06:36,292 --> 01:06:38,060 And suppose you get a couple of the other old beavers 1649 01:06:38,094 --> 01:06:39,028 to come along in the car. 1650 01:06:39,061 --> 01:06:41,697 Maybe there's some other way. 1651 01:06:41,731 --> 01:06:44,000 I don't want to take them for that kind of a ride. 1652 01:06:44,033 --> 01:06:45,267 Oh that's quite all right. 1653 01:06:45,301 --> 01:06:46,268 I'll take a couple of days off. 1654 01:06:46,302 --> 01:06:47,636 PROFESSORS: Yes, we all will. 1655 01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:49,305 That's a good idea. I--I... 1656 01:06:49,338 --> 01:06:51,007 Now cut out the menkenkes, Sugie. 1657 01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:53,409 This gets you to Rancocas. 1658 01:06:53,442 --> 01:06:55,077 Once you're here, we'll give the professor the boot, easy like, 1659 01:06:55,111 --> 01:06:57,213 where it won't blind him. 1660 01:06:57,246 --> 01:06:58,547 I don't want any discussions. 1661 01:06:58,581 --> 01:07:00,683 Just one thing. 1662 01:07:00,716 --> 01:07:03,019 Watch out for the Washington Bridge. 1663 01:07:03,052 --> 01:07:04,520 That'll be swarming with cops. 1664 01:07:04,553 --> 01:07:05,654 (HANGS UP) 1665 01:07:05,688 --> 01:07:08,057 Hello? Hello? 1666 01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:13,262 What's the matter, my dear? 1667 01:07:13,295 --> 01:07:15,398 Oh, he's always in such a rush. 1668 01:07:15,431 --> 01:07:18,134 Which is my great good fortune, the sooner the better. 1669 01:07:18,167 --> 01:07:20,603 Gentlemen, I now have the honor to announce our betrothal. 1670 01:07:20,636 --> 01:07:22,238 Congratulations. 1671 01:07:22,271 --> 01:07:24,040 (ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 1672 01:07:24,073 --> 01:07:28,344 Very sensibly condensed, as in the Reader's Digest. 1673 01:07:28,377 --> 01:07:29,578 Please don't cry, I'm very happy. 1674 01:07:29,612 --> 01:07:31,347 Can't help it. 1675 01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:32,581 Look, why don't you go upstairs 1676 01:07:32,615 --> 01:07:34,150 and pack my fiancee's things for her? Please. 1677 01:07:34,650 --> 01:07:36,285 I want to be an usher. 1678 01:07:36,318 --> 01:07:38,354 We'll all be ushers. 1679 01:07:38,387 --> 01:07:40,656 One kisses the bride. May I? 1680 01:07:40,689 --> 01:07:41,824 We'll all kiss the bride. 1681 01:07:41,857 --> 01:07:43,292 Yes, of course. 1682 01:07:43,325 --> 01:07:44,660 May we? 1683 01:07:44,693 --> 01:07:46,128 Go ahead. 1684 01:07:50,332 --> 01:07:52,802 We are very happy. 1685 01:07:52,835 --> 01:07:55,638 We feel that you are marrying all of us, a little. 1686 01:07:55,671 --> 01:07:57,373 Yes, yes, indeed. 1687 01:08:03,679 --> 01:08:06,115 We wish you every happiness, my dear. 1688 01:08:08,551 --> 01:08:10,086 All of us. 1689 01:08:13,689 --> 01:08:17,426 If we're gonna get started this afternoon, I'd better be going. 1690 01:08:23,432 --> 01:08:24,533 (DOOR OPENING) 1691 01:08:25,601 --> 01:08:26,702 Well. 1692 01:08:30,739 --> 01:08:32,441 Kind of a cheesy picture of me, isn't it? 1693 01:08:32,475 --> 01:08:34,343 Recognizable, thank heaven. 1694 01:08:34,376 --> 01:08:35,644 Oh, wait a minute. Get your things together 1695 01:08:35,678 --> 01:08:36,846 and get down the back stairs before I call the police. 1696 01:08:36,879 --> 01:08:38,848 I've got something to say. 1697 01:08:38,881 --> 01:08:40,850 A gangster's moll thinking she'd marry one of my professors. 1698 01:08:40,883 --> 01:08:42,551 Don't worry, I'm not marrying any professor. 1699 01:08:42,585 --> 01:08:44,153 Certainly not. 1700 01:08:44,186 --> 01:08:45,521 I'm mink coat. I'm no bungalow apron. 1701 01:08:45,554 --> 01:08:47,223 That's the guy I'm getting. 1702 01:08:47,256 --> 01:08:49,492 Pretty good getting for a gal that came up the hard way. 1703 01:08:49,525 --> 01:08:51,861 We'll have this room fumigated when you're out of it. 1704 01:08:51,894 --> 01:08:53,429 Well, you ought to, I guess. Let me past. 1705 01:08:53,462 --> 01:08:54,697 Oh, no, no, no, any spilling that's to be done, 1706 01:08:54,730 --> 01:08:55,798 I'll do, but not yet. 1707 01:08:55,831 --> 01:08:57,333 Not while it would bug up everything. 1708 01:08:57,366 --> 01:08:58,400 If you think I'll hold my tongue... 1709 01:08:58,434 --> 01:08:59,602 Why don't you look at it this way, Braggo? 1710 01:08:59,635 --> 01:09:00,703 The harm's been done. 1711 01:09:00,736 --> 01:09:02,271 Pottsy's gonna wear his heart in a sling 1712 01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:03,806 whether he finds out sooner or later. 1713 01:09:03,839 --> 01:09:06,742 Here or in New Jersey won't make any difference to him. 1714 01:09:06,775 --> 01:09:09,378 Only, in New Jersey's a darned sight better for me. 1715 01:09:09,411 --> 01:09:10,579 Better for you, indeed. 1716 01:09:10,613 --> 01:09:11,780 Oh, no, no, no. Why, you, you... 1717 01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:13,182 Open that door or I'll scream. 1718 01:09:13,215 --> 01:09:14,383 Oh, no, I can't have you screaming, not now. 1719 01:09:14,416 --> 01:09:15,518 A piercing scream... 1720 01:09:15,551 --> 01:09:16,752 Sorry, Braggo. 1721 01:09:34,403 --> 01:09:35,704 (MUMBLING) 1722 01:09:37,806 --> 01:09:39,441 What did you say? What? 1723 01:09:39,475 --> 01:09:42,278 I was just running through the marriage service. 1724 01:09:42,311 --> 01:09:43,646 "To be my lawful wedded wife. 1725 01:09:43,679 --> 01:09:45,748 "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer." 1726 01:09:45,781 --> 01:09:47,550 Please, Pottsy. What? 1727 01:09:47,583 --> 01:09:48,851 Don't, please. 1728 01:09:50,853 --> 01:09:53,255 You're very nervous, aren't you, darling? 1729 01:09:53,289 --> 01:09:55,224 It's been a very exciting day. 1730 01:09:55,257 --> 01:09:56,725 Oh, it's just this business of going to Jersey. 1731 01:09:56,759 --> 01:09:58,360 I mean, back home. 1732 01:09:58,394 --> 01:10:00,229 Every time I get to this old bridge, 1733 01:10:00,262 --> 01:10:01,630 I get worried for fear I might get stuck 1734 01:10:01,664 --> 01:10:03,499 and not be able to get back over again. 1735 01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:05,968 Oh, we'll bring you back, don't you be afraid. 1736 01:10:12,741 --> 01:10:14,276 Okay, go ahead. 1737 01:10:22,284 --> 01:10:24,853 Hey. Sorry, sorry. 1738 01:10:24,887 --> 01:10:25,888 You trying to play piggy-back? 1739 01:10:27,356 --> 01:10:28,991 Listen to that. 1740 01:10:29,024 --> 01:10:30,492 I don't see any reason for sarcasm. 1741 01:10:30,526 --> 01:10:31,694 Neither do I. 1742 01:10:36,665 --> 01:10:38,667 Something wrong with your brakes, sonny? 1743 01:10:38,701 --> 01:10:40,669 I couldn't locate it for a moment. 1744 01:10:40,703 --> 01:10:42,605 This is a rented car. 1745 01:10:42,638 --> 01:10:43,806 Got a driver's license? 1746 01:10:43,839 --> 01:10:44,940 I have, indeed. 1747 01:10:52,481 --> 01:10:56,585 "1903." This should have been renewed 20 times. 1748 01:10:56,619 --> 01:10:57,519 This is as far as you drive, brother. 1749 01:10:57,553 --> 01:10:59,288 Oh, no, no. 1750 01:10:59,321 --> 01:11:01,423 But, Officer, this is a wedding party. 1751 01:11:02,791 --> 01:11:04,260 A wedding party? 1752 01:11:04,293 --> 01:11:05,394 Are you the bridegroom? 1753 01:11:05,427 --> 01:11:06,495 No, I am. 1754 01:11:06,528 --> 01:11:07,463 Is this the bride? 1755 01:11:07,496 --> 01:11:08,764 Yes. 1756 01:11:08,797 --> 01:11:10,032 Pardon me. Officer, please. 1757 01:11:10,065 --> 01:11:11,367 What is it? 1758 01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:12,968 It's good luck to touch a bride, 1759 01:11:13,002 --> 01:11:14,670 and I got a promotion coming up. Oh. 1760 01:11:14,703 --> 01:11:18,274 Well, could you reciprocate by letting us proceed? 1761 01:11:18,307 --> 01:11:19,842 Yes, we'll drive very carefully. Yes. 1762 01:11:19,875 --> 01:11:22,645 Postponing a wedding is bad luck, you know, Officer. 1763 01:11:22,678 --> 01:11:24,647 That's right. Well, what are you waiting for? 1764 01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,315 Get going. Okay. 1765 01:11:26,348 --> 01:11:27,783 A very nice gentleman. 1766 01:11:31,687 --> 01:11:35,724 All that nonsense with my driving license. 1767 01:11:35,758 --> 01:11:38,927 With that license I once drove President Theodore Roosevelt. 1768 01:11:38,961 --> 01:11:41,030 And he pronounced my driving bully. 1769 01:11:41,063 --> 01:11:42,331 (HORN HONKING) 1770 01:11:42,364 --> 01:11:43,599 He said that... 1771 01:11:43,632 --> 01:11:44,566 Look out! Look out! 1772 01:11:48,637 --> 01:11:50,005 Look out, look out! 1773 01:11:51,740 --> 01:11:52,775 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1774 01:11:52,808 --> 01:11:53,909 (PHONE RINGING) 1775 01:11:58,480 --> 01:11:59,682 (BANGING ON DOOR) 1776 01:12:08,791 --> 01:12:10,559 Help! Help! 1777 01:12:12,127 --> 01:12:15,898 Police! Police! Help! Help! 1778 01:12:15,931 --> 01:12:18,600 Huh? How's that, operator? No answer. 1779 01:12:18,634 --> 01:12:20,736 Jam it. Jam it. 1780 01:12:20,769 --> 01:12:22,104 (PHONE RINGING) 1781 01:12:23,806 --> 01:12:25,674 Huh? 1782 01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:28,977 All right, I didn't mean to say it, I'm sorry. 1783 01:12:29,011 --> 01:12:31,046 Hey, wait a minute, there's a car driving up now. 1784 01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:31,880 (PHONE RINGING) 1785 01:12:34,416 --> 01:12:36,618 Listen, sister, I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do? 1786 01:12:36,652 --> 01:12:38,987 Send you a bouquet of... 1787 01:12:39,021 --> 01:12:40,422 Oh, it's you, wait a minute. 1788 01:12:40,456 --> 01:12:41,557 Hey, it's Sugarpuss. 1789 01:12:44,093 --> 01:12:46,395 Sugie, say, what the sweet Judas gives out? 1790 01:12:46,428 --> 01:12:47,763 Where are you? 1791 01:12:47,796 --> 01:12:48,931 We're not down here to enjoy ourselves. This is a wedding. 1792 01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:54,870 A what? They had an accident. 1793 01:12:54,903 --> 01:12:57,639 (PROFESSORS CHATTERING) Nothing serious. 1794 01:12:57,673 --> 01:13:00,476 No, it just shook the old boys up a little. 1795 01:13:00,509 --> 01:13:02,911 I couldn't get to a phone before. 1796 01:13:02,945 --> 01:13:05,013 I don't know, some little hotel near Kingston. 1797 01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:07,149 Poplar Grove, it's called. Yeah. 1798 01:13:08,817 --> 01:13:11,353 Oh, sure, Joe, there's a midnight bus. I can grab that. 1799 01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:13,389 Midnight bus, what are you talking about? 1800 01:13:13,422 --> 01:13:15,991 I'II have Asthma and Pastrami pick you up in about 40 minutes. 1801 01:13:16,024 --> 01:13:17,159 Sure tonight. 1802 01:13:17,192 --> 01:13:19,862 I've got a justice of the peace on call. 1803 01:13:19,895 --> 01:13:21,430 There'll be a justice of the peace tomorrow. 1804 01:13:21,463 --> 01:13:23,432 Now, why not do this thing right? 1805 01:13:23,465 --> 01:13:25,601 I want to wait until the old boys go to bed. 1806 01:13:25,634 --> 01:13:27,736 I can't walk out on them cold. 1807 01:13:27,770 --> 01:13:29,471 Maybe you'd like to sit down 1808 01:13:29,505 --> 01:13:31,507 and knit them eight little sweaters to remember you by. 1809 01:13:31,540 --> 01:13:34,410 I've told you how it's going to be, now stop barking orders. 1810 01:13:34,443 --> 01:13:35,677 So long. 1811 01:13:39,581 --> 01:13:43,051 Get the car ready. 1812 01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:45,521 GURKAKOFF: I could prove to you by the laws of relativity 1813 01:13:45,554 --> 01:13:48,857 that it was not I who ran into the signpost, 1814 01:13:48,891 --> 01:13:51,093 but that it was the signpost which ran... 1815 01:13:51,126 --> 01:13:54,630 That's all right, go ahead, sit down. 1816 01:13:54,663 --> 01:13:57,166 But that it was the signpost which ran into me. 1817 01:13:58,767 --> 01:14:01,136 Let me explain. 1818 01:14:01,170 --> 01:14:03,572 If you do, by that same law, your head will run into this bottle. 1819 01:14:03,605 --> 01:14:05,474 (ALL LAUGHING) 1820 01:14:05,507 --> 01:14:06,675 Before you do that, I'd like a drink, please. 1821 01:14:06,708 --> 01:14:08,744 By all means, excuse me. 1822 01:14:08,777 --> 01:14:10,579 No, I think I'll hit the hay, get some sleep. 1823 01:14:10,612 --> 01:14:12,481 PROFESSORS: Why? The evening's young yet. 1824 01:14:12,514 --> 01:14:13,749 Oh, no, I don't belong here. 1825 01:14:13,782 --> 01:14:14,817 This is a bachelor dinner. 1826 01:14:14,850 --> 01:14:16,051 Ah, but this one is different. 1827 01:14:16,084 --> 01:14:17,419 No, that's the law. 1828 01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:18,687 We've heard from the garage. 1829 01:14:18,720 --> 01:14:19,922 The car will be ready in the morning. 1830 01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:21,957 Perhaps it will hold together until Rancocas. 1831 01:14:21,990 --> 01:14:23,492 Then we'll be leaving early. 1832 01:14:23,525 --> 01:14:25,694 Yeah, after issuing an urgent appeal 1833 01:14:25,727 --> 01:14:27,763 to all signposts not to charge at us. 1834 01:14:27,796 --> 01:14:28,864 That's right. 1835 01:14:28,897 --> 01:14:30,466 What... 1836 01:14:30,499 --> 01:14:32,568 What time shall we waken you, about 7:30? 1837 01:14:32,601 --> 01:14:34,236 Oh, I'll be awake all right. 1838 01:14:35,571 --> 01:14:38,540 Well, kids, here's to you. 1839 01:14:38,574 --> 01:14:39,741 Here's to you. 1840 01:14:39,775 --> 01:14:41,109 Here's to all of us. 1841 01:14:41,143 --> 01:14:42,077 Yes, to all of us. 1842 01:14:47,282 --> 01:14:48,717 Pottsy, I... 1843 01:14:51,119 --> 01:14:53,622 You know, you boys still have time to warn him. 1844 01:14:53,655 --> 01:14:55,090 A man is a goof to marry any woman. 1845 01:14:55,123 --> 01:14:57,626 Just let them try to warn me. 1846 01:14:57,659 --> 01:15:00,496 He'll have to console us that there aren't seven more just like you. 1847 01:15:00,529 --> 01:15:02,197 Yeah, one for each of us. 1848 01:15:02,231 --> 01:15:04,066 Of assorted ages, of course. 1849 01:15:04,099 --> 01:15:05,234 Naturally. 1850 01:15:06,001 --> 01:15:07,002 I... 1851 01:15:08,036 --> 01:15:09,771 Well, I... 1852 01:15:09,805 --> 01:15:13,075 I'd like to keep you all in a locket, always. 1853 01:15:13,108 --> 01:15:16,144 Eight squirrelly cherubs right out of this world. 1854 01:15:18,146 --> 01:15:19,715 Bye, kids. 1855 01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,149 PROFESSORS: Good night. 1856 01:15:21,183 --> 01:15:22,551 Good night. 1857 01:15:22,584 --> 01:15:23,685 Did you hear, Potts? 1858 01:15:23,719 --> 01:15:24,953 I'm a squirrelly cherub. 1859 01:15:45,908 --> 01:15:49,077 No, no, no. No, I insist, the happiest marriages 1860 01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:51,580 are those which produce three children 1861 01:15:51,613 --> 01:15:54,283 at intervals of not less than two or more than three years. 1862 01:15:56,084 --> 01:15:59,321 Gentlemen, gentlemen. Please. 1863 01:15:59,354 --> 01:16:02,558 You are all speaking very glibly about a subject 1864 01:16:02,591 --> 01:16:04,893 of which you know practically nothing. 1865 01:16:04,927 --> 01:16:07,162 No, I know what I'm saying. 1866 01:16:07,195 --> 01:16:09,731 Uh, if you feel the need of any guidance, 1867 01:16:09,765 --> 01:16:12,234 may I suggest that you turn to me. 1868 01:16:12,267 --> 01:16:14,169 Oh, that's right. You were married, weren't you? 1869 01:16:14,202 --> 01:16:19,041 Oh, yes. Genevieve has been dead for some 24 years, but... 1870 01:16:19,074 --> 01:16:23,011 I have relived every moment of our happiness so many times. 1871 01:16:23,045 --> 01:16:26,014 And my experience is entirely at your disposal, Bertram. 1872 01:16:26,048 --> 01:16:27,683 Thank you, Oddly, but I really... 1873 01:16:27,716 --> 01:16:32,921 I judge I do not have to start with basic principles. 1874 01:16:33,855 --> 01:16:36,091 Being... 1875 01:16:36,124 --> 01:16:39,595 Being a botanist, I find an astonishing parallel 1876 01:16:39,628 --> 01:16:43,098 between a woman's heart and the wind flower 1877 01:16:43,131 --> 01:16:45,634 or Anemone nemorosa. 1878 01:16:45,667 --> 01:16:49,638 Perhaps you know the plant, how it waits for the warm sunshine 1879 01:16:49,671 --> 01:16:54,076 and soft winds before it, uh, it unfolds its petals. 1880 01:16:55,143 --> 01:16:56,979 Sensitive and delicate. 1881 01:16:57,012 --> 01:17:01,249 One rough, impetuous bee can completely destroy the bloom. 1882 01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:03,652 Oh, come out of the garden, will you, Oddly? 1883 01:17:03,685 --> 01:17:04,987 Jerome. Have a heart. 1884 01:17:05,020 --> 01:17:06,288 I'm much obliged to you, Oddly, but I... 1885 01:17:06,321 --> 01:17:10,359 Please, please, Bertram. Think of me as an elder brother 1886 01:17:10,392 --> 01:17:15,364 or father, anxious to send you off properly. 1887 01:17:15,397 --> 01:17:17,666 As we all are. Of course. 1888 01:17:17,699 --> 01:17:20,836 Now, tenderness, 1889 01:17:20,869 --> 01:17:22,971 that is what I advocate. 1890 01:17:23,005 --> 01:17:24,806 Tenderness and patience. 1891 01:17:26,208 --> 01:17:28,710 Genevieve was a watercolorist. 1892 01:17:28,744 --> 01:17:30,879 Therefore, after the wedding reception, 1893 01:17:30,912 --> 01:17:32,948 we went straight to the Catskills. 1894 01:17:35,984 --> 01:17:41,823 Ah, we spent there a beautiful week filled with promise. 1895 01:17:41,857 --> 01:17:45,093 And returned to New York with 14 excellent watercolors. 1896 01:17:45,127 --> 01:17:47,763 Hmm, fourteen watercolors. 1897 01:17:47,796 --> 01:17:51,933 Uh, back in New York, I flung my enthusiasm into preparing a lecture, 1898 01:17:51,967 --> 01:17:54,236 "The Flora of the Catskills," 1899 01:17:54,269 --> 01:17:57,039 whilst Genevieve painted a flight of swallows 1900 01:17:57,072 --> 01:17:59,207 around the walls of our living room. 1901 01:17:59,941 --> 01:18:02,244 Ah, me. 1902 01:18:02,277 --> 01:18:06,882 I remember for three months, every time I bade her goodnight 1903 01:18:06,915 --> 01:18:10,152 I would kiss the palm of her little hand, 1904 01:18:10,185 --> 01:18:13,055 astonished at my own boldness. 1905 01:18:13,088 --> 01:18:15,223 What did you say the name of the flower was? 1906 01:18:15,257 --> 01:18:18,360 Anemone nemorosa, of the buttercup family. 1907 01:18:19,428 --> 01:18:22,998 Uh, Genevieve was a blonde. 1908 01:18:24,933 --> 01:18:27,269 Here is a lock of her hair. 1909 01:18:27,302 --> 01:18:29,004 Very lovely. Yes. 1910 01:18:29,037 --> 01:18:32,040 I remember, it used to shine a great deal. 1911 01:18:32,074 --> 01:18:36,244 And there was a song at that time everyone sang. 1912 01:18:36,278 --> 01:18:38,847 Unfortunately, I can never carry a tune. 1913 01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:40,282 (HUMMING) 1914 01:18:40,315 --> 01:18:41,483 Uh, uh, that's it. 1915 01:18:44,086 --> 01:18:45,821 Please sing it all. 1916 01:18:47,155 --> 01:18:50,025 ♪ O Genevieve 1917 01:18:50,058 --> 01:18:51,493 Does anyone else know it? 1918 01:18:51,526 --> 01:18:52,994 ♪ Sweet Genevieve 1919 01:18:53,929 --> 01:18:56,865 ♪ The days may come 1920 01:18:56,898 --> 01:18:59,301 ♪ The days may go 1921 01:19:00,268 --> 01:19:03,105 ♪ But still the hands 1922 01:19:03,138 --> 01:19:06,007 ♪ Of memory weave 1923 01:19:06,975 --> 01:19:10,112 ♪ The blissful dreams 1924 01:19:10,145 --> 01:19:14,349 ♪ Of long ago 1925 01:19:14,382 --> 01:19:16,184 Please sing it again. 1926 01:19:16,218 --> 01:19:19,321 ♪ O Genevieve 1927 01:19:19,354 --> 01:19:22,491 ♪ Sweet Genevieve 1928 01:19:23,925 --> 01:19:26,461 ♪ The days may come 1929 01:19:26,495 --> 01:19:29,064 ♪ The days may go 1930 01:19:30,465 --> 01:19:34,169 ♪ But still the hands 1931 01:19:34,202 --> 01:19:37,305 ♪ Of memory weave 1932 01:19:39,441 --> 01:19:43,512 ♪ The blissful dreams 1933 01:19:43,545 --> 01:19:48,817 ♪ Of long ago 1934 01:19:48,850 --> 01:19:50,152 Oh, please, go on. 1935 01:19:51,820 --> 01:19:55,090 ♪ O Genevieve 1936 01:19:55,123 --> 01:19:57,359 ♪ Sweet Genevieve 1937 01:19:57,392 --> 01:19:59,561 Thank you, thank you so much. 1938 01:19:59,594 --> 01:20:02,364 ♪ The days may come 1939 01:20:02,397 --> 01:20:05,967 ♪ The days may go 1940 01:20:06,001 --> 01:20:09,070 ♪ But still the hands 1941 01:20:09,104 --> 01:20:13,375 ♪ Of memory weave 1942 01:20:13,408 --> 01:20:16,611 ♪ The blissful dreams 1943 01:20:17,579 --> 01:20:23,185 ♪ Of long ago 1944 01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:33,094 (HUMMING) 1945 01:20:34,930 --> 01:20:36,064 Good boy. 1946 01:20:37,999 --> 01:20:39,901 (SINGING) 1947 01:20:39,935 --> 01:20:43,371 (ALL SINGING) 1948 01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:49,010 Robinson, what did you make of what Oddly was saying? 1949 01:20:49,044 --> 01:20:51,079 Don't ask me, Potts. He's the expert. 1950 01:20:51,112 --> 01:20:52,347 What's his bungalow number? 1951 01:20:52,380 --> 01:20:54,583 I don't know. Ask Peagram. 1952 01:20:54,616 --> 01:20:57,452 Peagram, what's the number of Oddly's bungalow? 1953 01:20:57,485 --> 01:20:58,687 He's in six. 1954 01:21:00,222 --> 01:21:05,026 (ALL CONTINUE SINGING) 1955 01:21:23,078 --> 01:21:24,045 Oddly? 1956 01:21:26,948 --> 01:21:28,516 I'm sorry, Oddly, but I've got to talk this out. 1957 01:21:28,550 --> 01:21:32,587 I must get this off my chest before it stifles me. 1958 01:21:32,621 --> 01:21:34,389 If you don't mind, we won't turn on the light 1959 01:21:34,422 --> 01:21:37,459 while we're discussing these things extremely personal. 1960 01:21:37,492 --> 01:21:39,327 What you said, 1961 01:21:39,361 --> 01:21:41,263 I recognize the beauty and delicacy 1962 01:21:41,296 --> 01:21:43,365 of the relationship you described. 1963 01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:46,101 But I'm... I don't trust myself. 1964 01:21:46,134 --> 01:21:48,937 I'm afraid I'm a lot bolder than you are, Oddly. 1965 01:21:48,970 --> 01:21:51,673 You don't think that would necessarily endanger everything? Do you? 1966 01:21:51,706 --> 01:21:55,243 Why, the very idea that I should have to spend my honeymoon 1967 01:21:55,277 --> 01:21:57,279 watching her paint in watercolors 1968 01:21:57,312 --> 01:21:59,214 just because she's like somebody from the... 1969 01:21:59,247 --> 01:22:00,615 From the buttercup family, I... 1970 01:22:02,050 --> 01:22:03,118 I'm a man in love. 1971 01:22:03,151 --> 01:22:04,352 It's the first time in my life. 1972 01:22:04,386 --> 01:22:06,388 I want to take her in my arms. 1973 01:22:06,421 --> 01:22:08,556 I thought because I was young, 1974 01:22:08,590 --> 01:22:10,425 I had self-control but that's not true. 1975 01:22:10,458 --> 01:22:12,961 I think of her every waking moment. 1976 01:22:12,994 --> 01:22:14,329 Why, if this marriage had been delayed, 1977 01:22:14,362 --> 01:22:15,964 l mean, should have been delayed, 1978 01:22:15,997 --> 01:22:17,399 I mean, should be... 1979 01:22:18,366 --> 01:22:20,135 Listen to that. 1980 01:22:20,168 --> 01:22:21,670 Oddly, I don't know my tenses anymore. 1981 01:22:21,703 --> 01:22:26,041 I've gone goofy, completely goofy, bim-buggy, slap-happy. 1982 01:22:26,074 --> 01:22:29,077 Can a man like that keep his mind on the Anemone nemorosa? 1983 01:22:30,145 --> 01:22:31,446 Pottsy. 1984 01:22:31,479 --> 01:22:32,480 What... 1985 01:22:38,186 --> 01:22:42,657 I'm sorry, I don't know how I could have made such a mistake. 1986 01:22:42,691 --> 01:22:44,592 To say such things to a woman. 1987 01:22:44,626 --> 01:22:47,162 You'll have to forgive me. 1988 01:22:47,195 --> 01:22:49,531 Oh, don't apologize, Pottsy. 1989 01:22:49,564 --> 01:22:51,633 It was illuminating. 1990 01:22:55,403 --> 01:22:56,638 PROFESSOR: Professor Potts! 1991 01:22:58,707 --> 01:23:00,275 Somebody is calling me. 1992 01:23:01,509 --> 01:23:02,677 Are they? 1993 01:23:04,379 --> 01:23:06,348 Maybe it's just as well. 1994 01:23:06,381 --> 01:23:07,415 PROFESSOR: Professor Potts! 1995 01:23:07,449 --> 01:23:08,249 PROFESSOR #2: Professor Potts! 1996 01:23:09,718 --> 01:23:11,219 I'll be back. 1997 01:23:24,632 --> 01:23:26,368 Were you calling me? Yes, we were, Potts. 1998 01:23:26,401 --> 01:23:28,570 Potts, something has come up. 1999 01:23:28,603 --> 01:23:31,439 Yes, well... Well, what? 2000 01:23:31,473 --> 01:23:33,441 You better tell him, Martin. 2001 01:23:33,475 --> 01:23:35,210 Maybe he'd better tell him. 2002 01:23:35,243 --> 01:23:36,444 Who? Potts. 2003 01:23:38,713 --> 01:23:39,714 There's a gentleman here. No. 2004 01:23:39,748 --> 01:23:41,082 There's a man here. No. 2005 01:23:41,116 --> 01:23:42,584 Four men, four men inside. 2006 01:23:42,617 --> 01:23:44,185 Yes, they'll tell you. 2007 01:23:54,095 --> 01:23:56,164 Well, what... 2008 01:23:56,197 --> 01:23:57,832 LILAC: So you're the bridegroom? 2009 01:23:57,866 --> 01:23:59,567 Yes. This is Professor Potts. 2010 01:23:59,601 --> 01:24:02,771 How are you, Bertram? 2011 01:24:02,804 --> 01:24:05,473 I thought you'd look like these other squats, 2012 01:24:05,507 --> 01:24:08,543 only with a beard and pea soup on it. 2013 01:24:08,576 --> 01:24:11,346 What about me evoked this interest on your part? 2014 01:24:11,379 --> 01:24:12,580 Sounds like it was engraved, don't it? 2015 01:24:12,614 --> 01:24:14,015 Yeah. 2016 01:24:14,049 --> 01:24:15,550 What is this all about? 2017 01:24:15,583 --> 01:24:17,419 It's about Sugarpuss. 2018 01:24:17,452 --> 01:24:19,487 Perhaps if we talked to him... 2019 01:24:19,521 --> 01:24:21,523 There's been too many detours as is. 2020 01:24:21,556 --> 01:24:25,126 Maybe you recognize my voice, Bertram, do you? 2021 01:24:27,762 --> 01:24:29,397 How's your sinus? 2022 01:24:31,332 --> 01:24:32,700 You're not her father. 2023 01:24:32,734 --> 01:24:34,069 You're getting warm. 2024 01:24:34,102 --> 01:24:35,437 I'm her daddy. 2025 01:24:35,470 --> 01:24:37,672 (GANGSTER LAUGHING) Shut up. 2026 01:24:37,705 --> 01:24:39,841 I believe I'm entitled to some clarification. 2027 01:24:42,343 --> 01:24:43,545 So am I. 2028 01:24:53,788 --> 01:24:54,889 Lipstick. 2029 01:24:59,494 --> 01:25:01,296 What are you doing? 2030 01:25:01,329 --> 01:25:02,664 (CHATTERING) 2031 01:25:02,697 --> 01:25:04,532 Calm down now, Wimpy. 2032 01:25:09,571 --> 01:25:12,207 I was kind of counting on Sugarpuss to tell you the score. 2033 01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:15,677 Trouble is she's all right giving out with the twists and the wise cracks. 2034 01:25:15,710 --> 01:25:17,412 When it comes to leveling off, she gets chicken. 2035 01:25:17,445 --> 01:25:19,714 He's trying to say that our wedding trip was nothing but a vast lie. 2036 01:25:19,747 --> 01:25:21,683 A vast lie? 2037 01:25:21,716 --> 01:25:23,785 Don't you believe it, Bertram. 2038 01:25:23,818 --> 01:25:26,321 There's going to be a wedding all right, with Sugarpuss the bride. 2039 01:25:26,354 --> 01:25:27,856 Only I'm the bridegroom. 2040 01:25:27,889 --> 01:25:29,691 (LAUGHING) Shake it off. 2041 01:25:32,293 --> 01:25:34,195 I certainly do appreciate the way 2042 01:25:34,229 --> 01:25:35,630 you guys delivered a hot cargo. 2043 01:25:37,298 --> 01:25:39,734 LILAC: She was to be handled with care. 2044 01:25:39,767 --> 01:25:43,538 Potts, it seems that your bride to be... 2045 01:25:43,571 --> 01:25:46,341 JOE: His bride. That's a laugh. 2046 01:25:46,374 --> 01:25:50,612 It seems that Sugarpuss has used us to circumvent the police. 2047 01:25:50,645 --> 01:25:52,147 We serving as protective coloration. 2048 01:25:52,180 --> 01:25:53,648 PROFESSOR: Yes. 2049 01:25:53,681 --> 01:25:55,450 I don't believe it. 2050 01:25:55,483 --> 01:25:57,519 Professor, you really thought she was going to marry you 2051 01:25:57,552 --> 01:26:00,722 with your $3,000 what-was-it a year? 2052 01:26:00,755 --> 01:26:03,525 She spends that much for having her toenails painted. 2053 01:26:03,558 --> 01:26:05,894 She sulks if she has to wear last year's ermine. 2054 01:26:08,763 --> 01:26:12,333 He don't believe it. Look at him. 2055 01:26:12,367 --> 01:26:15,570 All right. Suppose you go tell Sugarpuss Daddy's here. 2056 01:26:19,874 --> 01:26:21,676 Joe Lilac's the name. 2057 01:26:27,782 --> 01:26:28,850 (CAR APPROACHING) 2058 01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:35,757 Professor Potts! Professor Potts! 2059 01:26:35,790 --> 01:26:37,525 Why, Miss Bragg. Is it too late? 2060 01:26:37,559 --> 01:26:39,360 Have you married that girl? She knocked me out. 2061 01:26:39,394 --> 01:26:40,929 Nine hours in a closet. Something told me all along. 2062 01:26:40,962 --> 01:26:42,897 Hold the phone, sister. 2063 01:26:42,931 --> 01:26:44,332 We traced you through your accident. 2064 01:26:44,365 --> 01:26:45,567 There's a warrant from the DA's office 2065 01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:46,768 for this girlfriend of Lilac's. 2066 01:26:46,801 --> 01:26:48,303 Where is she? 2067 01:27:01,749 --> 01:27:03,551 (MOTORCYCLE DRIVING AWAY) 2068 01:27:10,725 --> 01:27:12,927 There's a Mr. Lilac waiting for you. 2069 01:27:13,728 --> 01:27:16,331 Yeah. 2070 01:27:16,364 --> 01:27:20,201 The situation has been explained to me in simple terms. 2071 01:27:20,235 --> 01:27:22,604 You don't have to worry about the police. 2072 01:27:22,637 --> 01:27:25,373 I told them you and he left a half hour ago. 2073 01:27:25,406 --> 01:27:26,841 Probably were in Trenton by now. 2074 01:27:26,874 --> 01:27:28,309 Thanks, Pottsy. 2075 01:27:28,343 --> 01:27:30,278 Thanks for what? 2076 01:27:30,311 --> 01:27:32,247 You've given us all a fine course 2077 01:27:32,280 --> 01:27:33,982 in the theory and practice of being a sucker. 2078 01:27:34,015 --> 01:27:36,517 It was a very small tuition fee. 2079 01:27:36,551 --> 01:27:38,786 Perhaps it wasn't quite worthy of you choosing us 2080 01:27:38,820 --> 01:27:42,323 as subjects of your demonstration. 2081 01:27:42,357 --> 01:27:45,526 Eight pushovers, like shooting fish in a barrel. 2082 01:27:46,861 --> 01:27:48,730 I... 2083 01:27:48,763 --> 01:27:51,699 I didn't want you to get it this way. 2084 01:27:51,733 --> 01:27:53,601 Not right in the face. 2085 01:27:54,902 --> 01:27:57,639 I've been... 2086 01:27:57,672 --> 01:28:00,942 I've been sitting here trying to write you a letter. 2087 01:28:00,975 --> 01:28:02,777 Here are all my excuses. 2088 01:28:06,714 --> 01:28:08,883 The handwriting of a... 2089 01:28:08,916 --> 01:28:10,618 What would be your word for it? 2090 01:28:17,725 --> 01:28:18,826 A tramp. 2091 01:28:21,562 --> 01:28:22,897 (SOBBING) 2092 01:28:42,717 --> 01:28:43,851 Good morning, Miss Bragg. 2093 01:28:43,885 --> 01:28:45,386 Good morning, gentlemen. 2094 01:28:45,420 --> 01:28:46,754 What about some nice hot breakfast? 2095 01:28:46,788 --> 01:28:48,022 I made some Parker House rolls. 2096 01:28:48,056 --> 01:28:49,891 No, thank you. Even have some jam. 2097 01:28:49,924 --> 01:28:51,526 Strawberry jam, Professor Oddly. 2098 01:28:51,559 --> 01:28:53,394 Thank you, Miss Bragg, but I don't think so. 2099 01:28:53,428 --> 01:28:55,396 Nobody wants any breakfast? No, thank you. 2100 01:28:55,430 --> 01:28:57,665 Why? What? Very well. 2101 01:29:00,702 --> 01:29:04,372 (CONGA MUSIC PLAYING) 2102 01:29:18,586 --> 01:29:22,090 Gentlemen, just a moment, please. 2103 01:29:22,123 --> 01:29:24,792 Before we attempt to get back to work, I'd like to say a few words. 2104 01:29:24,826 --> 01:29:27,428 You've been very kind and very tactful. 2105 01:29:27,462 --> 01:29:30,732 If I may say so, over-tactful. 2106 01:29:30,765 --> 01:29:32,500 The entire ride home in the car, 2107 01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:35,803 you avoided a certain subject and made empty conversation. 2108 01:29:35,837 --> 01:29:37,505 Now, let's have it out. 2109 01:29:37,538 --> 01:29:38,940 I made an ass of myself and I know it. 2110 01:29:38,973 --> 01:29:41,042 Oh, well, we all have, Potts. 2111 01:29:41,075 --> 01:29:43,778 Yes, but I was the lead donkey. 2112 01:29:43,811 --> 01:29:45,947 Why not just regard the episode 2113 01:29:45,980 --> 01:29:48,449 as a prolonged constitutional? 2114 01:29:48,483 --> 01:29:50,618 PROFESSORS: That's right. That's what we'll do. 2115 01:29:50,651 --> 01:29:51,853 Thank you. 2116 01:29:51,886 --> 01:29:55,590 What happened to our emotions can't be undone. 2117 01:29:55,623 --> 01:29:58,059 What happened to our work must be remedied. 2118 01:29:58,092 --> 01:30:02,430 I'm sorry, but because of me we must work two extra hours a day. 2119 01:30:02,463 --> 01:30:03,898 In a month, we'll be back on schedule again. 2120 01:30:03,931 --> 01:30:04,966 PROFESSORS: Sure. That's right. 2121 01:30:04,999 --> 01:30:06,801 Now, we are all scholars. 2122 01:30:06,834 --> 01:30:09,704 Let us withdraw behind our wall of books, 2123 01:30:09,737 --> 01:30:12,807 and may her name never be brought up in this house again. 2124 01:30:12,840 --> 01:30:14,842 We didn't mention it, Potts. 2125 01:30:14,876 --> 01:30:16,811 Not even by omitting it so obviously. 2126 01:30:16,844 --> 01:30:19,514 Excuse me, Bertram, but... 2127 01:30:19,547 --> 01:30:23,084 Well, uh, now that we are burying her memory, 2128 01:30:23,117 --> 01:30:27,789 I feel it only fair, you see, she gave me something for you. 2129 01:30:27,822 --> 01:30:30,625 I found her crying in her bungalow, 2130 01:30:30,658 --> 01:30:33,227 and she slipped your ring into my pocket. 2131 01:30:33,261 --> 01:30:35,229 Put it in the wastebasket, please, Oddly. 2132 01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:36,798 (STUTTERING) Just a moment. Just a moment. 2133 01:30:36,831 --> 01:30:38,733 Is this your ring, Potts? 2134 01:30:38,766 --> 01:30:40,835 That for $39.85? 2135 01:30:40,868 --> 01:30:42,203 Doesn't look like it. 2136 01:30:42,236 --> 01:30:43,738 Why, no it is not. 2137 01:30:43,771 --> 01:30:44,839 Are you sure? 2138 01:30:44,872 --> 01:30:47,041 Positive. 2139 01:30:47,074 --> 01:30:50,111 Because if this is the one she gave back to you 2140 01:30:50,144 --> 01:30:51,746 and not the one you gave her, 2141 01:30:53,681 --> 01:30:54,816 it's enormously interesting. 2142 01:30:54,849 --> 01:30:56,150 But why? 2143 01:30:56,184 --> 01:30:57,218 Why? How so? 2144 01:30:58,686 --> 01:31:00,521 Potts. 2145 01:31:00,555 --> 01:31:01,656 She loves you. 2146 01:31:01,689 --> 01:31:03,724 How can you say that? 2147 01:31:03,758 --> 01:31:04,959 Please, she happened to pull that one off by mistake. 2148 01:31:04,992 --> 01:31:06,060 Not according to Professor Freud. 2149 01:31:06,093 --> 01:31:07,595 Freud? 2150 01:31:07,628 --> 01:31:11,132 The subconscious mind never makes mistakes. 2151 01:31:11,165 --> 01:31:15,603 She gave you the ring she didn't want, his ring. 2152 01:31:15,636 --> 01:31:19,106 And she kept the one she wanted, yours. 2153 01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:21,075 That's right, Potts. 2154 01:31:21,108 --> 01:31:22,977 Bosh and nonsense. 2155 01:31:23,010 --> 01:31:25,213 I agree with Miss Bragg. 2156 01:31:25,246 --> 01:31:27,748 I refuse to be coddled with a lot of psychoanalytical nonsense. 2157 01:31:27,782 --> 01:31:30,551 As one who understands a woman's heart, I would like to... 2158 01:31:30,585 --> 01:31:33,120 (ALL MURMURING) 2159 01:31:34,956 --> 01:31:36,624 Good morning. PROFESSORS: Good morning. 2160 01:31:36,657 --> 01:31:38,593 Quite an eventful night last night, gentlemen. 2161 01:31:38,626 --> 01:31:39,594 At least, so we see by the papers. 2162 01:31:40,962 --> 01:31:42,797 We're quite fresh this morning, however. 2163 01:31:42,830 --> 01:31:44,799 And we're going back to work with a will. 2164 01:31:44,832 --> 01:31:46,100 Yes, indeed. There's no hurry about that. 2165 01:31:46,133 --> 01:31:47,768 Not any longer. 2166 01:31:47,802 --> 01:31:49,971 We've had quite enough of your activities. 2167 01:31:50,004 --> 01:31:52,707 It has cost the estate some $300,000 to at last have its name 2168 01:31:52,740 --> 01:31:54,809 spread across every tabloid in New York. 2169 01:31:54,842 --> 01:31:57,645 "Night club babe hides out in Totten Foundation." 2170 01:31:57,678 --> 01:32:00,181 And this one. Yes. 2171 01:32:00,214 --> 01:32:02,850 "Professor bridegroom carries ball of fire across state line." 2172 01:32:02,884 --> 01:32:04,919 And many others like it. 2173 01:32:04,952 --> 01:32:07,522 For my father, I feel profound humiliation. 2174 01:32:07,555 --> 01:32:09,624 For myself, unutterable disgust. 2175 01:32:09,657 --> 01:32:11,158 Shall I go ahead? Please. 2176 01:32:11,192 --> 01:32:12,860 For the aforesaid reasons, 2177 01:32:12,894 --> 01:32:14,896 Miss Totten has decided to discontinue the encyclopedia. 2178 01:32:14,929 --> 01:32:16,030 What? 2179 01:32:16,063 --> 01:32:17,098 How soon can you vacate? 2180 01:32:17,131 --> 01:32:18,165 Vacate? After nine years? 2181 01:32:18,199 --> 01:32:19,267 Expelled in disgrace? 2182 01:32:19,300 --> 01:32:20,535 Pull the chair from under us? 2183 01:32:20,568 --> 01:32:22,703 Thrown out like eight old shoes? 2184 01:32:22,737 --> 01:32:25,306 I'm sorry, gentlemen, but my mind's made up. 2185 01:32:25,339 --> 01:32:27,675 Go ahead, Mr. Larsen. 2186 01:32:27,708 --> 01:32:29,710 Several real estate firms are interested in this property. 2187 01:32:29,744 --> 01:32:30,678 One of the companies wants to erect an apartment house here, 2188 01:32:30,711 --> 01:32:31,979 giving you... 2189 01:32:32,013 --> 01:32:33,080 Whoa! Please don't do that. 2190 01:32:33,114 --> 01:32:34,982 I'm sorry. 2191 01:32:35,016 --> 01:32:37,818 One word, Miss Totten, may I? 2192 01:32:37,852 --> 01:32:39,654 In your very understandable excitement, 2193 01:32:39,687 --> 01:32:41,289 a great injustice is being done. 2194 01:32:41,322 --> 01:32:43,591 I am the guilty one. 2195 01:32:43,624 --> 01:32:45,826 And I accept my dishonorable discharge without protest, 2196 01:32:45,860 --> 01:32:48,763 but that others should suffer and be punished 2197 01:32:48,796 --> 01:32:50,865 (STAMMERING) for my misconduct is unthinkable. 2198 01:32:50,898 --> 01:32:52,333 (WINDOW BREAKS) 2199 01:32:52,366 --> 01:32:55,169 Oh, my goodness, what was that? 2200 01:32:55,202 --> 01:32:56,938 (GASPS) 2201 01:32:59,140 --> 01:33:01,075 Good morning. Good morning. 2202 01:33:01,108 --> 01:33:04,145 Everybody line up over there, like for a photograph. 2203 01:33:05,846 --> 01:33:08,049 With you, Bertram, in the foreground. 2204 01:33:08,082 --> 01:33:09,850 Come on, get going. 2205 01:33:09,884 --> 01:33:11,586 Get around, get around. Go on. 2206 01:33:11,619 --> 01:33:13,054 PASTRAMI: Faster. Keep moving. 2207 01:33:14,722 --> 01:33:18,826 Saint Valentine's Day! 2208 01:33:36,177 --> 01:33:38,746 Is the bride ready yet? 2209 01:33:38,779 --> 01:33:40,247 No, not yet. What? 2210 01:33:41,215 --> 01:33:43,184 Louder, please. 2211 01:33:43,217 --> 01:33:45,119 We're still talking it over. 2212 01:33:45,152 --> 01:33:46,988 Good idea. Important step. 2213 01:33:48,689 --> 01:33:50,257 Hey, wait a minute. Where you going? 2214 01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:52,226 For lunch. Five minutes late. 2215 01:33:52,259 --> 01:33:54,295 When are you going to be back? 2216 01:33:54,328 --> 01:33:56,797 After I've ate and had my nap. 2217 01:33:56,831 --> 01:33:59,867 How long are we gonna argue this? 2218 01:33:59,900 --> 01:34:03,170 Now look, Sugie. I said no. And no is no. 2219 01:34:03,204 --> 01:34:04,805 Sugie, when I was nine years old, 2220 01:34:04,839 --> 01:34:06,173 I was in love with my piano teacher. 2221 01:34:06,207 --> 01:34:07,842 She played classical. 2222 01:34:07,875 --> 01:34:09,043 You're not nine years old. 2223 01:34:09,076 --> 01:34:10,111 I love him. 2224 01:34:10,144 --> 01:34:11,612 She loves him. 2225 01:34:11,646 --> 01:34:13,114 Yes, I love him. 2226 01:34:13,147 --> 01:34:16,083 I love those hick shirts he wears with the boiled cuffs. 2227 01:34:16,117 --> 01:34:18,119 And the way he always has his vest buttoned wrong. 2228 01:34:18,152 --> 01:34:20,888 Looks like a giraffe and I love him. 2229 01:34:20,921 --> 01:34:22,156 I love him because he's the kind of a guy 2230 01:34:22,189 --> 01:34:25,426 that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk. 2231 01:34:25,459 --> 01:34:30,064 And I love the way he blushes right up over his ears. 2232 01:34:30,097 --> 01:34:34,669 I love him because he doesn't know how to kiss, the jerk. 2233 01:34:34,702 --> 01:34:37,705 I love him, Joe. That's what I'm trying to tell you. 2234 01:34:37,738 --> 01:34:40,141 I'll never see him again. 2235 01:34:40,174 --> 01:34:42,777 But I'm not gonna marry you. 2236 01:34:42,810 --> 01:34:44,979 Not if you tie a ton of cement around my neck 2237 01:34:45,012 --> 01:34:46,113 and throw me into the East River 2238 01:34:46,147 --> 01:34:47,381 like you did to all the others. 2239 01:34:47,415 --> 01:34:49,684 I tell you, Joe was framed. Oh, sure, sure. 2240 01:34:49,717 --> 01:34:52,787 So you tell me, I know better now. 2241 01:34:52,820 --> 01:34:54,021 I guess she'd better talk to her professor. 2242 01:34:54,055 --> 01:34:55,356 Get him on the phone. 2243 01:34:55,389 --> 01:34:57,491 You leave him out of this. 2244 01:34:57,525 --> 01:34:59,960 Imagine that big giraffe at the bottom of the East River. 2245 01:34:59,994 --> 01:35:01,829 You wouldn't like that to happen to him, would you, Sugarpuss? 2246 01:35:01,862 --> 01:35:03,097 That ain't funny, McGee. 2247 01:35:03,130 --> 01:35:04,331 Who said it's funny? 2248 01:35:04,365 --> 01:35:07,068 I mean business. 2249 01:35:07,101 --> 01:35:09,103 That is if you don't say "I do" like a nice little bride. 2250 01:35:09,136 --> 01:35:11,305 Uh-uh. 2251 01:35:11,338 --> 01:35:14,208 I kind of figured you'd bumped your brains into one of them pink clouds. 2252 01:35:14,241 --> 01:35:15,843 You can't do this, Joe. 2253 01:35:15,876 --> 01:35:17,044 It's too late, Sugie. 2254 01:35:17,078 --> 01:35:18,679 The pressure's on already. 2255 01:35:18,713 --> 01:35:20,014 What is this? Putting the screws on me? 2256 01:35:20,047 --> 01:35:22,216 You said it, and right where it'll do the most good. 2257 01:35:22,249 --> 01:35:23,417 Neighborhood of the heart. 2258 01:35:23,451 --> 01:35:25,186 McNEARY: Hello. 2259 01:35:25,219 --> 01:35:27,488 This is McNeary. Hang on. Here you are. 2260 01:35:28,856 --> 01:35:30,057 You take it. 2261 01:35:34,195 --> 01:35:35,396 Hello? 2262 01:35:35,429 --> 01:35:36,297 Hello, Sugie. 2263 01:35:37,465 --> 01:35:39,033 Sure, it's Pastrami. 2264 01:35:41,535 --> 01:35:43,304 Just dropped in on the boys, Asthma and me, 2265 01:35:43,337 --> 01:35:46,807 with our little old typewriters. 2266 01:35:46,841 --> 01:35:48,175 That's up to the boss. We're waiting for orders. 2267 01:35:49,844 --> 01:35:51,045 For orders? 2268 01:35:51,078 --> 01:35:52,179 Can we make a deal now, Sugie? 2269 01:35:53,114 --> 01:35:55,416 Sure we can, brother. 2270 01:35:55,449 --> 01:35:59,086 Put him on, Pastrami, just a word. 2271 01:35:59,120 --> 01:36:01,822 Would you mind stepping to the phone, Professor Potts? 2272 01:36:01,856 --> 01:36:04,091 A lady friend of yours. 2273 01:36:04,125 --> 01:36:06,093 I have nothing to say to Miss O'Shea. 2274 01:36:06,127 --> 01:36:07,194 Oh. 2275 01:36:07,228 --> 01:36:09,029 Oh, please, please! 2276 01:36:09,063 --> 01:36:10,831 You haven't? 2277 01:36:10,865 --> 01:36:12,333 Just a moment. 2278 01:36:12,366 --> 01:36:13,834 Goodness, this is awful. Yesterday, a nightclub... 2279 01:36:13,868 --> 01:36:15,436 Shut your clam, sister. 2280 01:36:15,469 --> 01:36:17,404 Hello. 2281 01:36:17,438 --> 01:36:20,808 Yes, Miss O'Shea, this is Professor Potts. 2282 01:36:20,841 --> 01:36:22,309 Your friends are here. 2283 01:36:23,144 --> 01:36:24,879 Not at all. 2284 01:36:24,912 --> 01:36:26,380 Your methods are familiar by now. 2285 01:36:26,413 --> 01:36:29,016 I don't know the exact purpose of this maneuver. 2286 01:36:29,049 --> 01:36:31,352 What more can be gained from us? 2287 01:36:31,385 --> 01:36:35,322 But I hope that it works to your advantage. 2288 01:36:35,356 --> 01:36:38,058 I'm sorry, Pottsy, but it'll be all right in a little while. 2289 01:36:38,092 --> 01:36:40,461 They won't hurt anybody. 2290 01:36:40,494 --> 01:36:42,997 Just don't do anything foolish. 2291 01:36:43,030 --> 01:36:44,932 Promise me, Pottsy. Give it. 2292 01:36:48,068 --> 01:36:51,505 Okay, Bertram, put Pastrami back on. 2293 01:36:51,539 --> 01:36:54,008 I imagine he wants to talk to you. 2294 01:36:54,975 --> 01:36:57,144 Yes, boss? 2295 01:36:57,178 --> 01:36:59,446 Okay, we'll wait for the call. 2296 01:36:59,480 --> 01:37:01,782 And best wishes, boss. Congratulations. 2297 01:37:03,484 --> 01:37:08,422 Well, all we have to do is to wait for the all-clear signal. 2298 01:37:08,455 --> 01:37:11,826 We'll dismiss the class right after the ceremony. 2299 01:37:11,859 --> 01:37:13,460 Did you say after the ceremony? 2300 01:37:13,494 --> 01:37:15,329 That's what I said. 2301 01:37:15,362 --> 01:37:16,997 You mean they're not married yet? 2302 01:37:17,031 --> 01:37:18,899 Why do you think we're futzing around with these? 2303 01:37:18,933 --> 01:37:20,868 Well, I don't know, I thought... 2304 01:37:20,901 --> 01:37:21,969 A little trouble with Sugarpuss' vocal chords. 2305 01:37:22,002 --> 01:37:24,305 Wouldn't say yes. 2306 01:37:24,338 --> 01:37:26,841 She wouldn't say yes? What... 2307 01:37:26,874 --> 01:37:28,342 You very ugly young man, 2308 01:37:28,375 --> 01:37:29,977 you know, to me at this moment 2309 01:37:30,010 --> 01:37:31,145 you look perfectly delightful? Huh? 2310 01:37:31,178 --> 01:37:32,980 I mean absolutely beautiful. I what? 2311 01:37:33,013 --> 01:37:34,381 Positively wonderful. Are you nuts? 2312 01:37:34,415 --> 01:37:36,383 (LAUGHING) No, l feel like yodeling. 2313 01:37:36,417 --> 01:37:37,418 (YODELING) 2314 01:37:39,153 --> 01:37:40,487 Doc... Pardon me. 2315 01:37:40,521 --> 01:37:44,358 Dr. Gurkakoff, my apologies to Professor Freud. 2316 01:37:44,391 --> 01:37:45,893 Thank you. 2317 01:37:45,926 --> 01:37:47,294 But you don't understand. 2318 01:37:47,328 --> 01:37:48,462 This visit is no longer a mystery. 2319 01:37:48,495 --> 01:37:50,431 Apparently, it requires those two guns 2320 01:37:50,464 --> 01:37:53,367 leveled on us to force Sugarpuss to marry Mr. Lilac. 2321 01:37:53,400 --> 01:37:55,069 You mean to say that... Yes. 2322 01:37:55,102 --> 01:37:56,437 That explains everything. 2323 01:37:56,470 --> 01:37:58,172 Break it up, break it up. 2324 01:37:58,205 --> 01:38:00,074 We can't allow that. No, no, indeed. 2325 01:38:00,107 --> 01:38:01,475 Can't, huh? What do you think we're here for? 2326 01:38:01,508 --> 01:38:05,546 But, young man, you see, we all love this young lady very dearly. 2327 01:38:05,579 --> 01:38:07,481 Better look out. It's gonna spit. 2328 01:38:07,514 --> 01:38:09,216 What is going to... Oh, dear. 2329 01:38:09,250 --> 01:38:10,951 Now, sit down, all of you. Sit down. 2330 01:38:10,985 --> 01:38:12,419 Yes, we're... I mean, we're... 2331 01:38:19,493 --> 01:38:21,061 Ah. 2332 01:38:21,095 --> 01:38:24,064 Don't look so big now, them eight big brains. 2333 01:38:24,098 --> 01:38:25,666 Not to me they don't. 2334 01:38:27,501 --> 01:38:29,169 You are under the impression that you are big 2335 01:38:29,203 --> 01:38:30,871 because you have those firearms 2336 01:38:30,905 --> 01:38:33,207 because you know how to load them and pull the trigger. 2337 01:38:33,240 --> 01:38:35,509 It would be interesting to teach them the contrary... 2338 01:38:35,542 --> 01:38:37,378 Button it up, understand? 2339 01:38:39,580 --> 01:38:42,583 Hey, fellows, this won't take a second. 2340 01:38:42,616 --> 01:38:44,652 They're pulling a double or nothing on that quizzola. 2341 01:38:44,685 --> 01:38:47,454 Three new questions. First. 2342 01:38:47,488 --> 01:38:50,057 "The sword of Damocles, was that a..." 2343 01:38:51,525 --> 01:38:53,360 Say, was you holding a meeting or something? 2344 01:38:53,394 --> 01:38:55,162 More like a wake, maybe. 2345 01:38:57,698 --> 01:39:00,167 Oh, excuse me. 2346 01:39:00,200 --> 01:39:02,202 Just a minute, Jack. 2347 01:39:02,236 --> 01:39:05,539 We got a loge seat for you, right in the back row. 2348 01:39:05,572 --> 01:39:06,974 This way, please. 2349 01:39:13,514 --> 01:39:15,049 That's right. 2350 01:39:16,250 --> 01:39:17,551 ASTHMA: Now, sit down. 2351 01:39:35,536 --> 01:39:38,038 Young man, your... 2352 01:39:38,072 --> 01:39:40,107 You don't mind if we talk, do you? 2353 01:39:40,140 --> 01:39:41,308 PASTRAMI: Just keep it funny. 2354 01:39:41,342 --> 01:39:43,277 Thank you. 2355 01:39:43,310 --> 01:39:45,279 Your question as you came in was about 2356 01:39:45,312 --> 01:39:47,448 the sword of Damocles, I believe. 2357 01:39:47,481 --> 01:39:48,983 Yeah. 2358 01:39:49,016 --> 01:39:50,384 But I'd just as soon skip it. 2359 01:39:50,417 --> 01:39:51,418 No, but it's a very interesting subject. 2360 01:39:51,452 --> 01:39:52,586 Never mind. 2361 01:39:52,619 --> 01:39:54,555 Yeah, but I do mind. 2362 01:39:54,588 --> 01:39:57,224 I just wanted to tell you that the sword of Damocles 2363 01:39:57,257 --> 01:39:58,993 was suspended over his head. 2364 01:39:59,026 --> 01:40:00,260 Yes, by a single hair. 2365 01:40:00,294 --> 01:40:01,528 Exactly. 2366 01:40:01,562 --> 01:40:03,297 Did you hear that, Robinson? 2367 01:40:03,330 --> 01:40:06,133 Suspended over his head by a single hair. 2368 01:40:06,166 --> 01:40:08,435 A constant source of danger. 2369 01:40:08,469 --> 01:40:12,172 Mr. Pastrami, you know your history, don't you? 2370 01:40:12,206 --> 01:40:14,274 Uh, it's not one of my best points. 2371 01:40:14,308 --> 01:40:16,310 I never went in for that kind of stuff. 2372 01:40:17,177 --> 01:40:19,179 At least, not very much. 2373 01:40:19,213 --> 01:40:20,748 Well, I thought I'd just ask you. 2374 01:40:20,781 --> 01:40:22,316 A very interesting lesson indeed. 2375 01:40:22,349 --> 01:40:24,685 Yes. 2376 01:40:24,718 --> 01:40:29,156 Yes, indeed. I've always found it a most absorbing subject. 2377 01:40:29,189 --> 01:40:31,525 But Mr. Totten is not suspended by a hair. 2378 01:40:31,558 --> 01:40:33,327 (SHUSHING) 2379 01:40:33,360 --> 01:40:34,762 ASTHMA: Uh-uh. 2380 01:40:34,795 --> 01:40:38,365 No secrets, boys, talk upstairs. 2381 01:40:38,399 --> 01:40:39,800 I thought you'd see it. 2382 01:40:39,833 --> 01:40:41,168 Don't you agree, Dr. Gurkakoff? 2383 01:40:41,201 --> 01:40:42,403 What did you say? 2384 01:40:42,436 --> 01:40:44,505 I said, don't you agree? 2385 01:40:44,538 --> 01:40:48,142 Oh, yes, yes, yes. A danger very often overhangs the unsuspecting. 2386 01:40:48,175 --> 01:40:49,576 What kind of jive is that? 2387 01:40:49,610 --> 01:40:52,212 If you're gonna talk, talk so we can dig it. 2388 01:40:52,246 --> 01:40:54,615 Oh, I'm sorry. We'll try. 2389 01:40:54,648 --> 01:40:55,549 Dr. Gurkakoff? 2390 01:40:55,582 --> 01:40:57,618 Yeah? 2391 01:40:57,651 --> 01:40:59,753 What was that about the Roman fleet and Archimedes? 2392 01:40:59,787 --> 01:41:01,488 I don't remember. 2393 01:41:01,522 --> 01:41:03,223 You know, it's not exactly... 2394 01:41:03,257 --> 01:41:06,326 Why, he set it afire with the use of reflectors. 2395 01:41:06,360 --> 01:41:09,329 You can talk just as well sitting down, can't you? 2396 01:41:09,363 --> 01:41:11,799 Yes, yes. 2397 01:41:11,832 --> 01:41:14,802 POTTS: I find that vastly instructive, don't you, Dr. Gurkakoff? 2398 01:41:14,835 --> 01:41:16,737 Extremely enlightening. 2399 01:41:18,238 --> 01:41:19,473 Uh, Potts, you were saying... 2400 01:41:19,506 --> 01:41:21,075 Yes. 2401 01:41:21,108 --> 01:41:23,510 Now if I... May I stand? 2402 01:41:23,544 --> 01:41:25,412 PASTRAMI: Sure, if it's gonna help. 2403 01:41:25,446 --> 01:41:27,481 Thank you, it will a lot. 2404 01:41:27,514 --> 01:41:30,851 Uh, now, if I may have your attention for a few moments. 2405 01:41:30,884 --> 01:41:33,754 Gentlemen, you see your inferiority is a question 2406 01:41:33,787 --> 01:41:36,223 of the bony structure of your skulls. 2407 01:41:36,256 --> 01:41:37,858 What's the matter with our skulls? 2408 01:41:37,891 --> 01:41:39,827 POTTS: Oh, now, just listen, please. 2409 01:41:39,860 --> 01:41:41,762 Let us take the glandular syncopation of your eyes. 2410 01:41:41,795 --> 01:41:42,830 Kindly look at me, both of you. 2411 01:41:42,863 --> 01:41:44,865 It's very important. 2412 01:41:44,898 --> 01:41:47,201 They are the doliocephalic and the brachiocephalic 2413 01:41:47,234 --> 01:41:49,369 with a somewhat Mediterranean estrafuge. 2414 01:41:49,403 --> 01:41:51,371 Now try to follow me closely. 2415 01:41:51,405 --> 01:41:55,409 Now, the double smorgasbord of your chins, for instance, 2416 01:41:55,442 --> 01:41:57,845 convexing into the cataclysmic protoplasm... 2417 01:41:58,912 --> 01:42:00,447 Am I boring you? 2418 01:42:01,715 --> 01:42:04,084 I don't get it. 2419 01:42:04,118 --> 01:42:05,819 Now, the latest centrifugal research 2420 01:42:05,853 --> 01:42:09,857 as performed by Bronxville scientists has proven 2421 01:42:09,890 --> 01:42:12,226 that syllogism is enigmatic to prolonged 2422 01:42:12,259 --> 01:42:14,595 resistance, especially in the cavalry. 2423 01:42:14,628 --> 01:42:17,598 Now take your ears. The totalitarian mastoid 2424 01:42:17,631 --> 01:42:20,167 of their basic lobes prematurely 2425 01:42:20,200 --> 01:42:22,269 extricated from the paranoiac agriculture 2426 01:42:22,302 --> 01:42:23,570 and molecular cadenzas... 2427 01:42:23,604 --> 01:42:24,838 Get down to it. 2428 01:42:24,872 --> 01:42:26,273 What's wrong with us? 2429 01:42:26,306 --> 01:42:27,441 Oh, uh, nothing. 2430 01:42:29,343 --> 01:42:31,845 You're just fine. Everything's fine. 2431 01:42:31,879 --> 01:42:34,548 Now, on one hand we have the sword of Damocles, 2432 01:42:34,581 --> 01:42:37,718 and on the other hand we have... 2433 01:42:37,751 --> 01:42:39,553 Professor Quintana, would you look up something 2434 01:42:39,586 --> 01:42:41,388 in Tate's Oriental Philosophy for me? 2435 01:42:41,421 --> 01:42:42,556 I think I saw it last on your desk. 2436 01:42:42,589 --> 01:42:44,791 Yes, yes. 2437 01:42:44,825 --> 01:42:46,360 Uh, line one, chapter seven. 2438 01:42:46,393 --> 01:42:47,561 Yes. 2439 01:42:47,594 --> 01:42:49,763 (STAMMERING) Do you mind? 2440 01:42:49,796 --> 01:42:52,366 Hey, this mixed-up talk is giving me a headache. 2441 01:42:52,399 --> 01:42:55,502 All that book talk. That's a lot of mahaha. 2442 01:42:55,536 --> 01:42:56,637 I assure you this is not a lot of mahaha. 2443 01:42:56,670 --> 01:42:58,539 This is... 2444 01:42:58,572 --> 01:43:00,174 I'II show you what makes the world go round. 2445 01:43:00,207 --> 01:43:02,643 Uh, kind of spread out a little bit, will you? 2446 01:43:02,676 --> 01:43:04,178 (YELLING) 2447 01:43:07,848 --> 01:43:09,449 PROFESSOR: My globe! My globe! 2448 01:43:09,483 --> 01:43:10,817 Me, I don't like globes. 2449 01:43:12,452 --> 01:43:13,787 Now me. 2450 01:43:18,492 --> 01:43:20,494 I saw me a picture last week. 2451 01:43:33,540 --> 01:43:35,375 There's gonna be a lot of trash tomorrow, sister. 2452 01:43:35,409 --> 01:43:37,311 If there is any tomorrow, brother. 2453 01:43:38,712 --> 01:43:40,614 (GLASS BREAKING) 2454 01:43:43,750 --> 01:43:45,419 (ASTHMA WHOOPING) 2455 01:43:47,454 --> 01:43:48,822 (PASTRAMI LAUGHING) 2456 01:43:48,855 --> 01:43:50,424 (GUNS FIRING) 2457 01:43:54,695 --> 01:43:57,564 Ain't there some more of them things around? 2458 01:43:57,598 --> 01:43:58,999 Oh, don't get up, please, just... 2459 01:43:59,032 --> 01:44:00,500 Please. 2460 01:44:02,603 --> 01:44:04,838 What's the matter with all of you? 2461 01:44:04,871 --> 01:44:06,740 We thought... 2462 01:44:06,773 --> 01:44:07,874 Young man. 2463 01:44:07,908 --> 01:44:09,576 PASTRAMI: What do you want? 2464 01:44:09,610 --> 01:44:13,447 Uh, do you think you could shoot this dime 2465 01:44:13,480 --> 01:44:16,984 if I held it between my fingers? 2466 01:44:18,518 --> 01:44:19,686 Why, sure. 2467 01:44:21,521 --> 01:44:22,956 (VOICE CRACKING) I mean... 2468 01:44:22,990 --> 01:44:24,558 l mean from where you were sitting. 2469 01:44:30,397 --> 01:44:31,298 Okay. 2470 01:44:37,471 --> 01:44:38,872 All right, put it up. 2471 01:44:41,041 --> 01:44:43,343 Perhaps we'd better use a quarter. 2472 01:44:43,377 --> 01:44:45,412 Well, that's twice as easy. 2473 01:44:45,445 --> 01:44:46,713 Oh, I'm glad. 2474 01:44:56,623 --> 01:44:59,459 Or maybe even a 50-cent piece? 2475 01:45:01,561 --> 01:45:03,730 He's not as dumb as he looks. 2476 01:45:03,764 --> 01:45:07,034 Oh, has anyone change for $1? 2477 01:45:07,067 --> 01:45:08,535 PASTRAMI: Never mind, never mind. 2478 01:45:08,568 --> 01:45:09,803 A quarter will do. Put it up. 2479 01:45:09,836 --> 01:45:11,672 Oh, no, I can get change. 2480 01:45:11,705 --> 01:45:12,939 Never mind, put it up. 2481 01:45:32,559 --> 01:45:34,728 (SHOUTING) 2482 01:45:34,761 --> 01:45:35,929 I've got him! 2483 01:45:44,504 --> 01:45:45,739 PROFESSOR #1: Hold him, hold him. 2484 01:45:45,772 --> 01:45:46,740 PROFESSOR #2: I've got him. 2485 01:45:49,476 --> 01:45:51,044 (HORN HONKING) 2486 01:45:51,078 --> 01:45:52,679 New Jersey? That's an awful big order. 2487 01:45:52,713 --> 01:45:54,481 Whereabouts in Jersey? 2488 01:45:54,514 --> 01:45:56,116 You just keep on driving. 2489 01:45:56,149 --> 01:45:57,718 Further orders will be forthcoming. 2490 01:45:57,751 --> 01:46:00,053 I warned you, Miss Totten, you should never have come along. 2491 01:46:00,087 --> 01:46:01,888 It may be very dangerous. 2492 01:46:01,922 --> 01:46:04,057 This is my encyclopedia, and I am going to stick with it. 2493 01:46:04,091 --> 01:46:05,492 I've never had so much fun in my life. 2494 01:46:05,525 --> 01:46:06,560 (HORN HONKING) 2495 01:46:06,593 --> 01:46:08,328 How are they doing inside? 2496 01:46:08,362 --> 01:46:09,863 Are we ready? 2497 01:46:09,896 --> 01:46:10,931 Shall we start the torture now? 2498 01:46:10,964 --> 01:46:13,033 Just one moment. 2499 01:46:13,066 --> 01:46:15,335 First, we are going to give him just one chance to talk. 2500 01:46:15,369 --> 01:46:16,837 Where is that ceremony taking place? 2501 01:46:16,870 --> 01:46:18,739 Listen, monkey, 2502 01:46:18,772 --> 01:46:20,073 I've been given the third degree by all kinds of cops. 2503 01:46:20,107 --> 01:46:21,375 All over. 2504 01:46:21,408 --> 01:46:22,843 But not by us. 2505 01:46:22,876 --> 01:46:24,945 You will see, I am an authority on Chinese tortures. 2506 01:46:24,978 --> 01:46:26,947 (LAUGHING) That tickles! 2507 01:46:26,980 --> 01:46:28,548 Are you ready, Dr. Gurkakoff? 2508 01:46:28,582 --> 01:46:29,883 That's right. 2509 01:46:29,916 --> 01:46:31,485 Now, between the 12th and 13th vertebra. 2510 01:46:31,518 --> 01:46:32,786 No! No! No! 2511 01:46:33,887 --> 01:46:36,022 Hold his head down. 2512 01:46:36,056 --> 01:46:38,125 Hey, cut it out! 2513 01:46:38,158 --> 01:46:39,559 Stop it, will you? Look out. 2514 01:46:39,593 --> 01:46:40,927 No, no, no. 2515 01:46:43,897 --> 01:46:46,433 Will you cut it out? Stop it. 2516 01:46:46,466 --> 01:46:49,469 No! No! 2517 01:46:49,503 --> 01:46:50,637 Around and around. 2518 01:46:56,109 --> 01:46:58,145 All right, all right! 2519 01:46:58,178 --> 01:46:59,946 All right, I'II talk! I'll talk. 2520 01:46:59,980 --> 01:47:01,815 Oh! They're in Fulham, New Jersey. 2521 01:47:02,749 --> 01:47:04,684 Fulham, New Jersey. 2522 01:47:04,718 --> 01:47:06,853 Fulham, New Jersey. 2523 01:47:06,887 --> 01:47:09,956 Shortest route, Bloomfield, Pine Brook, Mine Hills, Allamuchy. 2524 01:47:19,666 --> 01:47:21,001 JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: And now repeat after me. 2525 01:47:21,034 --> 01:47:22,536 I, Joseph Lilac. 2526 01:47:22,569 --> 01:47:23,603 I, Joseph Lilac. 2527 01:47:23,637 --> 01:47:24,905 Loud, please. 2528 01:47:24,938 --> 01:47:26,139 I, Joseph Lilac... 2529 01:47:26,173 --> 01:47:27,541 Head of Murder Incorporated. 2530 01:47:27,574 --> 01:47:28,642 Quiet. 2531 01:47:28,675 --> 01:47:29,743 Take thee, Katherine O'Shea. 2532 01:47:29,776 --> 01:47:30,811 Take thee, Katherine O'Shea... 2533 01:47:30,844 --> 01:47:32,412 Who hates and despises you. 2534 01:47:32,446 --> 01:47:33,880 Loathes you. To be my lawful wedded wife. 2535 01:47:33,914 --> 01:47:35,715 To be my lawful wedded wife. 2536 01:47:35,749 --> 01:47:37,083 For better or for worse. 2537 01:47:37,117 --> 01:47:38,418 For better or for worse. 2538 01:47:38,452 --> 01:47:39,719 For worse. 2539 01:47:39,753 --> 01:47:42,589 For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. 2540 01:47:42,622 --> 01:47:44,758 For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health... 2541 01:47:44,791 --> 01:47:46,026 I'm sick right now. Cut it out. 2542 01:47:46,059 --> 01:47:47,994 What? Never mind. Keep going. 2543 01:47:48,028 --> 01:47:50,063 Huh? Keep going! 2544 01:47:50,096 --> 01:47:52,866 To love and to cherish until death do us part. 2545 01:47:52,899 --> 01:47:54,167 They'll put you in the chair and fry you like... 2546 01:47:54,201 --> 01:47:55,235 (PROFESSORS SINGING) 2547 01:47:55,268 --> 01:47:56,770 And now repeat after me. 2548 01:47:56,803 --> 01:47:58,505 I, Katherine O'Shea. 2549 01:47:59,639 --> 01:48:01,508 I said, repeat after me. 2550 01:48:01,541 --> 01:48:03,043 I, Katherine O'Shea. 2551 01:48:03,076 --> 01:48:04,744 Come on, come on, Sugie. It's just a parade or something. 2552 01:48:04,778 --> 01:48:06,780 Is it? Just wait and see. 2553 01:48:12,686 --> 01:48:13,987 What is this? 2554 01:48:14,020 --> 01:48:15,822 (VOICE CRACKING) I believe... 2555 01:48:15,856 --> 01:48:17,190 I think it is known as an upstick. 2556 01:48:17,224 --> 01:48:18,992 A stickup. Put 'em up. 2557 01:48:19,025 --> 01:48:20,927 Hold up your hands. Hold 'em up! 2558 01:48:28,068 --> 01:48:29,636 Back door! Don't do that! 2559 01:48:29,669 --> 01:48:31,238 I didn't mean it. 2560 01:48:31,271 --> 01:48:33,473 Hold 'em up there. Hold 'em up! 2561 01:48:33,507 --> 01:48:35,475 I mean it! I mean it. 2562 01:48:35,509 --> 01:48:37,644 Come on, now. 2563 01:48:37,677 --> 01:48:39,513 Put 'em up. Put 'em up. I mean it. 2564 01:48:48,622 --> 01:48:50,290 Get his gun, get his gun. 2565 01:48:58,999 --> 01:49:00,967 All right, Joe. Put up your dukes. 2566 01:49:02,769 --> 01:49:04,070 Okay, Bertram. 2567 01:49:28,662 --> 01:49:29,930 Come on, Bertram. 2568 01:49:34,334 --> 01:49:35,869 (SIRENS WAILING) 2569 01:49:42,742 --> 01:49:44,678 (CHEERING) 2570 01:49:51,885 --> 01:49:54,588 This load of garbage goes to the DA's office. 2571 01:49:56,222 --> 01:49:58,625 Something must have went wrong, boss. 2572 01:50:01,027 --> 01:50:03,229 Listen, you squirrelly cherubs, 2573 01:50:03,263 --> 01:50:05,799 you eight wise idiots, it wouldn't work. 2574 01:50:05,832 --> 01:50:08,134 Remember, Pottsy, no women aboard. 2575 01:50:08,168 --> 01:50:12,238 And now, above all women, you want to take a dizzy dame like me. 2576 01:50:12,272 --> 01:50:14,140 If you'll allow me, I can prove to you 2577 01:50:14,174 --> 01:50:16,009 the inevitability of this step 2578 01:50:16,042 --> 01:50:17,377 by higher mathematics. 2579 01:50:17,410 --> 01:50:19,045 I can cite examples from history. 2580 01:50:19,079 --> 01:50:21,915 Or from geography, two rivers converging irresistibly. 2581 01:50:21,948 --> 01:50:23,917 Yes, indeed. 2582 01:50:23,950 --> 01:50:24,951 PEAGRAM: I can prove it by examples from literature. 2583 01:50:24,985 --> 01:50:26,353 MAGENBRUCH: Physiology. ROBINSON: By law. 2584 01:50:26,386 --> 01:50:27,721 All of them. 2585 01:50:27,754 --> 01:50:29,022 Gentlemen. 2586 01:50:29,055 --> 01:50:31,925 As a grammarian, I know when words cease to be of use. 2587 01:50:31,958 --> 01:50:34,127 There remains one argument. 2588 01:50:36,096 --> 01:50:37,697 Come here, dear. 2589 01:50:37,731 --> 01:50:38,865 Oh, no, please, Pottsy. 2590 01:50:38,898 --> 01:50:40,066 Get up, darling. 2591 01:50:40,100 --> 01:50:41,201 But, Pottsy... 2592 01:50:41,234 --> 01:50:42,802 It isn't fair. It isn't? 2593 01:50:42,836 --> 01:50:45,338 No. It is not fair. 2594 01:50:45,372 --> 01:50:47,273 Oh, my goodness, Bertram. 2595 01:50:47,307 --> 01:50:49,409 Remember the Anemone... 2596 01:50:49,442 --> 01:50:50,844 (SHUSHING) 2597 01:50:56,016 --> 01:50:57,784 (CLICKING TONGUES) 2598 01:51:08,895 --> 01:51:12,899 ♪♪