1
00:00:49,612 --> 00:00:54,401
# An old man turned 98
2
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,523
# He won the lottery
3
00:00:58,037 --> 00:00:59,725
# And he died the next day...
4
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,698
What the shit is this?
5
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,500
Why is this on
the get-psyched mix?
6
00:01:02,502 --> 00:01:03,734
'Cause I got to throw you
a curveball
7
00:01:03,736 --> 00:01:05,169
every now and then
or you get bored,
8
00:01:05,171 --> 00:01:07,004
and then the mix doesn't have
its intended effect.
9
00:01:07,006 --> 00:01:09,740
No, I want to get revved up,
and this song's not doing it.
10
00:01:09,742 --> 00:01:13,111
Oh, really? I defy you to crush
this chorus and not get psyched.
11
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Not going to happen.
12
00:01:14,514 --> 00:01:17,115
# Don't you think?
13
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# It's like rain
14
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,453
# On your wedding day
15
00:01:21,455 --> 00:01:22,589
What is it?
16
00:01:22,591 --> 00:01:25,224
# It's a free ride
17
00:01:25,226 --> 00:01:27,427
# When you already paid
# That you already take
18
00:01:27,429 --> 00:01:29,429
# It's the good advice
19
00:01:29,431 --> 00:01:30,864
Help me out!
20
00:01:30,866 --> 00:01:33,766
# That you just didn't take
21
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# And who would've thought?
22
00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:39,473
# You figure
# It figures
23
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# Mr. Play It Safe
- Classic Alanis.
24
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# Was afraid to fly...
25
00:01:43,946 --> 00:01:45,112
He was afraid.
26
00:01:46,414 --> 00:01:48,682
- Bring it home.
- Oh, yeah.
27
00:01:48,684 --> 00:01:52,086
Come on, papi. Yes!
28
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We've got our jam on now.
- Jump to it.
29
00:01:55,492 --> 00:01:57,058
It's been a dry June,
30
00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:59,027
and I know it doesn't need
to be said out loud,
31
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but we need this sale.
- I am so confident
32
00:02:00,364 --> 00:02:02,797
that we're going
to close this thing
33
00:02:02,799 --> 00:02:03,698
that I'm going to order
the Pappy Van Winkle.
34
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:05,300
I know it's pricey,
but I want
35
00:02:05,302 --> 00:02:07,003
to spiritually invest
in our success.
36
00:02:07,005 --> 00:02:09,171
I'll tell you what, if you
didn't order the Pappy,
37
00:02:09,173 --> 00:02:11,606
I'd send your raggedy ass
back out to the car
38
00:02:11,608 --> 00:02:14,510
to listen to the get-psyched mix
to get your mind right.
39
00:02:14,512 --> 00:02:17,046
We're selling Bob Williams.
Been married 16 years.
40
00:02:17,048 --> 00:02:18,515
Wife Karen, one daughter.
41
00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:19,716
You read the first page
of the scouting report.
42
00:02:19,718 --> 00:02:21,183
Let me hip you to page two.
43
00:02:21,185 --> 00:02:22,920
Daughter's name is Skyler,
big into gymnastics.
44
00:02:22,922 --> 00:02:25,923
And to hear Bob tell it, the kid
is aces on the pommel horse.
45
00:02:25,925 --> 00:02:27,925
He don't just tell it, old boy.
He likes to show it with pictures.
46
00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:30,928
Everyone's searching
for something. Am I right, Bob?
47
00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:32,863
Love. Success.
48
00:02:32,865 --> 00:02:36,734
But what's the one thing
that no one can get more of?
49
00:02:37,703 --> 00:02:39,369
Time.
50
00:02:39,371 --> 00:02:41,906
Mmm. And you can't fight it.
51
00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:44,309
Well, you don't have to tell me.
I mean, look at my little girl.
52
00:02:44,311 --> 00:02:45,344
How old is Skyler
nowadays, Bob?
53
00:02:45,346 --> 00:02:46,812
Just turned nine in May.
- Nine?
54
00:02:46,814 --> 00:02:47,813
Isn't that something?
- She just turned nine.
55
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Skyler's nine?
- Mmm.
56
00:02:49,215 --> 00:02:51,116
Good Lord. How old
does that make all of us?
57
00:02:51,118 --> 00:02:52,885
Don't answer that
question, Bob.
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00:02:52,887 --> 00:02:55,254
Let's move on.
- I was about... I was about to answer.
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Pretty soon, she's going to be
borrowing Karen's makeup,
60
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,292
and you're going to have
two beauties on your hands.
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00:03:00,294 --> 00:03:01,594
Lock the door.
It's coming, Bob.
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00:03:01,596 --> 00:03:02,996
Double digits.
- No way. Is Skyler
63
00:03:02,998 --> 00:03:04,965
still giving them hell
on that pommel horse?
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00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:07,434
You want to see that photo?
- If it's not too much trouble.
65
00:03:07,436 --> 00:03:09,169
Yeah, let me show you Sky, yeah.
66
00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:10,971
Let's get those eyes on Skyler.
- Look at her.
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00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:12,906
Yeah... yeah,
she's really sprouted.
68
00:03:12,908 --> 00:03:14,609
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Skyler's
really slimming down.
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00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,444
And I'll tell you what.
70
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,911
Gorgeous.
- She's eating really healthy.
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00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:20,715
Just mostly fruits and nuts.
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00:03:20,717 --> 00:03:23,417
Her choice. - There is no
telling what this little girl
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00:03:23,419 --> 00:03:24,820
on a squirrel diet
could end up doing.
74
00:03:24,822 --> 00:03:26,722
Could she win us the gold
and make us proud?
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00:03:26,724 --> 00:03:28,155
You're damn right she could.
- You're damn right.
76
00:03:28,157 --> 00:03:29,690
I have a feeling
she's already made you proud.
77
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:31,460
Am I right?
- Guilty. Guilty, my friend.
78
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,262
Oh, guys, it... it goes so fast.
79
00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:36,299
Oh, it's like a freight train
going down the track.
80
00:03:36,301 --> 00:03:37,933
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack.
Now she's got a boyfriend.
81
00:03:37,935 --> 00:03:39,635
Oh.
- Guy you like, hopefully.
82
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:42,639
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack,
she's married.
83
00:03:42,641 --> 00:03:44,907
Clickety-clack,
she's putting you in a home!
84
00:03:44,909 --> 00:03:46,375
Oh, my God, a home.
85
00:03:46,377 --> 00:03:47,610
She would do it, too.
86
00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:49,045
I believe that, too.
- No, no, she would.
87
00:03:49,047 --> 00:03:50,813
Only when you don't
remember who she is.
88
00:03:50,815 --> 00:03:53,083
I'm kidding!
89
00:03:53,085 --> 00:03:56,619
Oh, it feels good
to laugh about Alzheimer's.
90
00:03:56,621 --> 00:03:58,288
You can't control time.
91
00:03:58,290 --> 00:03:59,723
No.
92
00:03:59,725 --> 00:04:02,626
But... you can manage it.
93
00:04:02,628 --> 00:04:05,763
Mmm.
- Bob...
94
00:04:05,765 --> 00:04:07,498
the Chronoshock Aught Thirteen.
95
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,799
Carpe diem.
96
00:04:08,801 --> 00:04:11,069
These babies will fly
off your shelf.
97
00:04:11,071 --> 00:04:12,937
Now, I know that you've moved up
to having six stores,
98
00:04:12,939 --> 00:04:14,305
so you're probably
going to want to have
99
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:16,141
a little larger order
than you did last year.
100
00:04:16,143 --> 00:04:17,742
You're kidding, right?
101
00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:22,648
Your... your business
has... been folded.
102
00:04:22,650 --> 00:04:24,649
I'm sorry?
- No, no, no, no, Bob,
103
00:04:24,651 --> 00:04:25,918
there has been some chatter.
104
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,520
The last few years
have been rough.
105
00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:29,655
But come on,
who hasn't felt the pinch?
106
00:04:29,657 --> 00:04:31,525
Yeah.
They didn't tell you, did they?
107
00:04:31,527 --> 00:04:32,926
Look...
108
00:04:32,928 --> 00:04:35,194
I thought you guys
just wanted to grab dinner
109
00:04:35,196 --> 00:04:37,130
for old times' sake, but, uh...
- Yeah.
110
00:04:37,132 --> 00:04:39,433
your company is closed.
111
00:04:39,435 --> 00:04:42,269
I hate to be the one
telling you that.
112
00:04:42,271 --> 00:04:46,106
Honestly, I know
that I can't buy the watches
113
00:04:46,108 --> 00:04:49,677
because your company
doesn't exist anymore,
114
00:04:49,679 --> 00:04:50,712
but I wish I could.
115
00:04:50,714 --> 00:04:53,080
I mean, that's
how good you guys are.
116
00:04:53,082 --> 00:04:55,183
One round
of Pappy Van Winkle.
117
00:04:55,185 --> 00:04:57,018
Enjoy, gentlemen.
118
00:04:57,020 --> 00:05:00,322
Oh... wow.
119
00:05:00,324 --> 00:05:01,957
That is expensive stuff.
120
00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:04,693
You know, Bob, uh...
do you mind, uh...
121
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,195
just going Dutch?
- You don't have to say any more.
122
00:05:06,197 --> 00:05:08,097
I got it. I'm doing this.
Let me do this.
123
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,199
I'm saying let's slice the pie
three ways, honestly.
124
00:05:10,201 --> 00:05:11,900
If you don't mind.
- No, that-that-that's silly.
125
00:05:11,902 --> 00:05:14,002
That's silly.
I'm doing really, really...
126
00:05:14,004 --> 00:05:16,706
really well right now,
and you guys are not.
127
00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:18,108
But, Bob, I can...
- At all.
128
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,242
Let me do this.
129
00:05:19,244 --> 00:05:20,944
But let's just split it.
Let's go Dutch.
130
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,679
Okay. Okay.
- Let's be the three Dutchmen.
131
00:05:22,681 --> 00:05:23,980
Okay, but this Dutchman's
going to...
132
00:05:23,982 --> 00:05:25,849
going to pay when he can
in a couple weeks.
133
00:05:25,851 --> 00:05:27,218
I hope you understand.
134
00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:29,186
What the fuck, Sammy?
135
00:05:29,188 --> 00:05:31,387
What the fuck, me?
What the fuck, you?
136
00:05:31,389 --> 00:05:32,723
Who told you
you could barge
137
00:05:32,725 --> 00:05:33,958
into my office
without an appointment?
138
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,126
You closed the company?
139
00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:36,894
And then you send
us out on a sale
140
00:05:36,896 --> 00:05:38,196
that we really needed
141
00:05:38,198 --> 00:05:40,298
and had Bob Williams
drop that bomb on us?
142
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,334
Bob Williams has got
a big fucking mouth.
143
00:05:43,336 --> 00:05:44,836
Yeah, he does.
- Look.
144
00:05:44,838 --> 00:05:45,871
You weren't going to get
the sale anyway.
145
00:05:45,873 --> 00:05:47,105
Nobody wears a watch anymore.
146
00:05:47,107 --> 00:05:48,774
They just check
their goddamn phones.
147
00:05:48,776 --> 00:05:50,242
Disagree. Cite your sources.
- The kids, maybe,
148
00:05:50,244 --> 00:05:51,910
but there's...
there's a broader market.
149
00:05:51,912 --> 00:05:53,178
Lorraine, what time is it?
150
00:05:54,247 --> 00:05:55,615
10:26.
151
00:05:55,617 --> 00:05:59,451
One hip, pioneering secretary
does not a cultural trend make.
152
00:05:59,453 --> 00:06:00,853
She's 75 years old.
153
00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:02,755
Watches are obsolete,
and so are the two of you.
154
00:06:02,757 --> 00:06:03,756
Hey. Obsolete?
155
00:06:03,758 --> 00:06:05,291
What does that even mean?
156
00:06:05,293 --> 00:06:07,661
It means everything's
computerized now.
157
00:06:07,663 --> 00:06:09,328
It's cheaper
for a machine to tell
158
00:06:09,330 --> 00:06:11,464
these companies what to order
than a manufacturer's rep.
159
00:06:11,466 --> 00:06:13,233
They don't need us anymore.
160
00:06:13,235 --> 00:06:16,770
No, people have a deep mistrust
of machines. - That's right.
161
00:06:16,772 --> 00:06:18,939
Have you seen Terminator?
162
00:06:18,941 --> 00:06:21,909
Yep. Mm-hmm. All of them.
- Or 2 or 3 or 4?
163
00:06:21,911 --> 00:06:25,780
People want to deal with
people, not Terminators.
164
00:06:25,782 --> 00:06:27,615
People hate people.
165
00:06:27,617 --> 00:06:28,783
Times have changed.
166
00:06:28,785 --> 00:06:30,351
That's so negative.
167
00:06:30,353 --> 00:06:32,420
Luckily, I saw this coming,
cashed out my retirement,
168
00:06:32,422 --> 00:06:35,090
bought a condo in Miami Beach,
new tits for the wife.
169
00:06:35,092 --> 00:06:37,092
Silicone. It's legal again.
170
00:06:37,094 --> 00:06:38,893
- Wow. - Saline's out?
- Yeah, me and the old lady
171
00:06:38,895 --> 00:06:41,330
are going to be tucked away
real nice.
172
00:06:41,332 --> 00:06:42,598
Yeah, great for you, huh?
173
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:43,799
Perfect.
174
00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:46,203
So, uh, that's it, right?
175
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,771
But what about us, Sammy?
176
00:06:48,773 --> 00:06:52,108
You two were great salesmen...
the best...
177
00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:54,945
but at the end of the day,
you're grinders, foot soldiers.
178
00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,713
We all know
you'll never be generals.
179
00:06:56,715 --> 00:06:58,315
And I'm going to say
something harsh now.
180
00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:00,116
Now you're going to say
something harsh?
181
00:07:00,118 --> 00:07:02,987
Strap it in, boys, 'cause it
ain't pretty out there.
182
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,722
And you two are dinosaurs.
183
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,489
Face it.
184
00:07:06,491 --> 00:07:10,194
Where you're going...
you've already been.
185
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:13,265
I thank you for your service.
186
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:20,572
What are we going to do?
187
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,574
I don't know.
188
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,944
But I got to worry
about the now.
189
00:07:24,946 --> 00:07:27,546
I don't know what the hell
I'm going to say to Megan.
190
00:07:33,254 --> 00:07:35,922
# It's like rain...
191
00:07:35,924 --> 00:07:37,957
No. Let it play.
192
00:07:37,959 --> 00:07:41,896
For the love of God,
let it play.
193
00:07:41,898 --> 00:07:46,065
# It's a free ride
when you've already paid #
194
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:49,169
- Go. # It's the good
advice that you... #
195
00:07:49,171 --> 00:07:51,839
Come on, Megan, listen to me.
Honey, let's talk about this.
196
00:07:51,841 --> 00:07:53,841
Is this because
I'm too unselfish in bed?
197
00:07:53,843 --> 00:07:55,943
Because I can change it around.
I'm not going to say it's going to be easy,
198
00:07:55,945 --> 00:07:57,444
but I can do it.
Megan, listen to me.
199
00:07:57,446 --> 00:08:00,081
Honey, it's always darkest
before the dawn.
200
00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:01,816
No, Billy, it's not. It's actually
darkest in the middle of the night.
201
00:08:01,818 --> 00:08:04,719
We have enough on the table here
without arguing about proverbs.
202
00:08:04,721 --> 00:08:05,954
Look, I knew things
weren't great,
203
00:08:05,956 --> 00:08:07,689
but to come home
to a foreclosure sign?
204
00:08:07,691 --> 00:08:09,525
Can we hug it for a second?
Can I touch it? - No. No, please.
205
00:08:09,527 --> 00:08:11,193
Okay, listen.
That could've been avoided
206
00:08:11,195 --> 00:08:12,994
if the Bob Williams deal
didn't go so bad on me.
207
00:08:12,996 --> 00:08:14,997
You blew the Bob Williams deal?
- Well, it's not so much
208
00:08:14,999 --> 00:08:16,899
that I blew the deal
as much as the company
209
00:08:16,901 --> 00:08:18,501
just decided to shut down
and take our jobs away.
210
00:08:18,503 --> 00:08:20,037
What? - Come on, listen to me,
sweetheart.
211
00:08:20,039 --> 00:08:21,905
I promise you,
I can pay for all of this.
212
00:08:21,907 --> 00:08:23,139
It's not about
the money, Billy.
213
00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:24,774
This is about you, okay?
214
00:08:24,776 --> 00:08:28,178
You-you talk a big game, but you
never do anything about it.
215
00:08:28,180 --> 00:08:29,913
It's like you say that we're
going to go to Spain,
216
00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:31,282
but have I ever been to Barcelona?
- "Barthelona. "
217
00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:33,450
Ugh.
- And not yet, but we're going.
218
00:08:33,452 --> 00:08:34,918
Vaya con dios, mi amor.
219
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,253
What?
- Porque esta bravo
220
00:08:36,255 --> 00:08:38,289
en Barthelona y fant�stico.
221
00:08:38,291 --> 00:08:40,124
No, we are not going
to "Barthelona," okay?
222
00:08:40,126 --> 00:08:42,125
We have discussed going
to Barthelona,
223
00:08:42,127 --> 00:08:45,063
but we are never going
to go to Barthelona.
224
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:47,231
Not with an attitude like that, we're not.
- Oh, God.
225
00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:48,934
Wait, do you
even hear yourself?
226
00:08:48,936 --> 00:08:50,536
Yes. - I'm glad that you got
to say some of that,
227
00:08:50,538 --> 00:08:52,103
because we're in a
relationship, and I'm
228
00:08:52,105 --> 00:08:53,739
just glad that we're both
committed to it.
229
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:56,308
No... do you know how badly
I want to believe that, Billy?
230
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:58,277
Because I've been with you
for a long time,
231
00:08:58,279 --> 00:08:59,980
and nothing ever seems
to get better.
232
00:08:59,982 --> 00:09:01,447
Honey, you were...
233
00:09:01,449 --> 00:09:05,085
you're such a great guy,
but you always figure out
234
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:07,587
a way to screw things up
and let people down.
235
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,955
And, Billy, I love you,
236
00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:12,459
but I'm really tired
of being let down.
237
00:09:17,367 --> 00:09:20,367
That's terrible, Nicky.
238
00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:21,535
Are you okay?
239
00:09:21,537 --> 00:09:23,838
I should have gone on my own
when I had the chance.
240
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,306
I was so stupid. I was...
241
00:09:25,308 --> 00:09:26,741
Nicky, you did
the right thing.
242
00:09:26,743 --> 00:09:28,577
Always got a paycheck,
played it smart.
243
00:09:28,579 --> 00:09:29,977
Dad would have been proud.
244
00:09:29,979 --> 00:09:31,512
Well, what would he
have been proud of?
245
00:09:31,514 --> 00:09:33,682
I didn't play it smart.
I played it safe.
246
00:09:33,684 --> 00:09:34,683
And look where I am now.
247
00:09:34,685 --> 00:09:36,218
Proud?
248
00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:38,087
You're at your nephew's
Little League game.
249
00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:39,087
Now, cheer up.
250
00:09:39,089 --> 00:09:40,555
Okay.
- Come on.
251
00:09:40,557 --> 00:09:43,058
All right, Tate!
- All right, here we go, Tate.
252
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,527
Put some wood on it.
253
00:09:44,529 --> 00:09:46,029
He's a great kid.
254
00:09:46,031 --> 00:09:48,864
I keep telling you you'd
make a terrific father.
255
00:09:48,866 --> 00:09:51,034
Yep, you do keep
telling me that.
256
00:09:51,036 --> 00:09:52,568
Unfortunately, it would
require you having
257
00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:55,072
a relationship that lasted
longer than three months.
258
00:09:55,074 --> 00:09:57,374
I'm not sure it
would require that.
259
00:09:57,376 --> 00:09:59,609
Let me call Kevin.
- Jeanie...
260
00:09:59,611 --> 00:10:01,278
I'm sure your boyfriend's
a great guy,
261
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,213
but I'm not ready
to work for someone
262
00:10:03,215 --> 00:10:05,082
who spent all
of last Thanksgiving
263
00:10:05,084 --> 00:10:07,551
explaining the meaning
of his tattoo.
264
00:10:07,553 --> 00:10:08,952
Be reasonable, Nicky.
265
00:10:08,954 --> 00:10:10,554
Take the job.
266
00:10:10,556 --> 00:10:12,624
What else are you
going to do?
267
00:10:12,626 --> 00:10:15,126
That's it. Just take
the walk, Eagle Eye.
268
00:10:15,128 --> 00:10:16,627
Walk's as good as a hit.
Come on.
269
00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:18,229
What is this guy saying?
Bullshit.
270
00:10:18,231 --> 00:10:20,031
Nick. Nick!
271
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:22,434
A walk's not as good as a hit.
It's not as good - Nick!
272
00:10:22,436 --> 00:10:24,003
as a double or a triple.
273
00:10:24,005 --> 00:10:25,304
It's not as good
as a dinger.
274
00:10:25,306 --> 00:10:26,671
Go on, take
a big cut, Tate.
275
00:10:26,673 --> 00:10:27,906
Nick!
276
00:10:27,908 --> 00:10:29,975
Get off the field.
- What are you doing?
277
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,378
You call him Eagle Eye
to get him not to swing?
278
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:34,014
Come on, he's 12 years old.
279
00:10:34,016 --> 00:10:36,182
He's got the rest
of his life to take a walk.
280
00:10:36,184 --> 00:10:38,851
How about you take a walk,
pal, and get off my field?
281
00:10:38,853 --> 00:10:40,420
Just stop calling him
Eagle Eye, okay?
282
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,189
Oh, I'm going to
call him Eagle Eye.
283
00:10:42,191 --> 00:10:43,990
Oh, no, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
284
00:10:43,992 --> 00:10:45,525
You're Eagle Eye, you piece of...
- No, I'm not.
285
00:10:45,527 --> 00:10:47,160
Huh?
286
00:10:48,296 --> 00:10:50,330
Nick!
Get off me!
287
00:10:51,468 --> 00:10:54,302
Go ahead, Tate. Swing!
288
00:10:54,304 --> 00:10:56,404
I'm okay! I'm okay.
289
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,472
Play ball!
290
00:10:57,474 --> 00:10:59,707
Come on, Tate! Swing big!
291
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:07,683
Read Moneyball, asshole.
292
00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:10,152
Walks are as good as hits.
293
00:11:14,191 --> 00:11:15,524
Just when you think your day
294
00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:17,593
couldn't get any worse,
it got worse.
295
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:19,028
I feel like my day
296
00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:21,998
bent me over, put a ball
in my mouth and fucked me bad.
297
00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:26,302
Is it just me, or does life look
a lot like those hillbillies
298
00:11:26,304 --> 00:11:27,570
from Deliverance
right now?
299
00:11:27,572 --> 00:11:29,539
It's got me over
by the tree there,
300
00:11:29,541 --> 00:11:31,775
just told me I had
a pretty mouth.
301
00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:35,479
You over, squealing like a
pig on all fours. "Whee!"
302
00:11:35,481 --> 00:11:37,948
I'm looking, "Wh-Where's Burt
Reynolds with the crossbow?"
303
00:11:37,950 --> 00:11:39,550
He's not coming.
304
00:11:39,552 --> 00:11:41,720
We're there,
it's gonna happen.
305
00:11:41,722 --> 00:11:43,154
You're gonna get raped.
306
00:11:43,156 --> 00:11:44,622
You know what it is?
307
00:11:44,624 --> 00:11:47,592
I feel like life's inside of me,
just working,
308
00:11:47,594 --> 00:11:49,895
just pushing,
just going all after it.
309
00:11:49,897 --> 00:11:51,930
And then, all of a sudden,
life pulls out.
310
00:11:51,932 --> 00:11:53,732
But he's gonna scurry up
the pillow.
311
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:56,168
Boom, just explodes
right in my fucking mouth.
312
00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:59,238
How are you?
313
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,040
Hey. A cute kid.
314
00:12:01,042 --> 00:12:02,474
How old is she?
315
00:12:02,476 --> 00:12:03,676
She's a boy.
316
00:12:03,678 --> 00:12:04,477
Okay.
317
00:12:04,479 --> 00:12:06,179
Still very attractive.
318
00:12:06,181 --> 00:12:07,580
You know,
without pink or blue,
319
00:12:07,582 --> 00:12:08,916
it's hard to tell,
but the features are great.
320
00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:10,250
Maybe... maybe put him
in some modeling.
321
00:12:10,252 --> 00:12:11,450
That's what they're going for...
322
00:12:11,452 --> 00:12:12,752
that right-down-the-middle
thing.
323
00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:14,688
It's like, how many
different ways
324
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,990
do we have to say,
"I give up,"
325
00:12:16,992 --> 00:12:18,292
say "uncle," say "mercy"
326
00:12:18,294 --> 00:12:20,494
before life stops
wailing away on us?
327
00:12:20,496 --> 00:12:22,563
I mean, we are
getting pounded.
328
00:12:22,565 --> 00:12:24,932
You know, I feel like
our whole generation are sheep
329
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:26,701
that's been sold
a bad bill of goods.
330
00:12:26,703 --> 00:12:29,970
Like, we were told, you know,
go to college, get good grades.
331
00:12:29,972 --> 00:12:31,773
Well, you didn't
go to college.
332
00:12:31,775 --> 00:12:34,475
I'm saying,
in theory, in concept,
333
00:12:34,477 --> 00:12:36,645
our generation was told
that you go to college,
334
00:12:36,647 --> 00:12:38,547
you get a job, you...
you get a mortgage,
335
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,114
and, you know,
here we did everything
336
00:12:40,116 --> 00:12:41,316
the way we
were supposed to,
337
00:12:41,318 --> 00:12:42,585
and what do we
get for it?
338
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:43,752
Where's our thanks?
Nothing.
339
00:12:45,121 --> 00:12:47,791
I think I'm going to call
Kevin about that job.
340
00:12:47,793 --> 00:12:48,991
Kevin?
341
00:12:48,993 --> 00:12:50,859
Thanksgiving tattoo?
342
00:12:50,861 --> 00:12:53,128
We're not that low,
are we, Nick?
343
00:13:21,227 --> 00:13:23,095
Okay.
344
00:13:23,097 --> 00:13:24,663
Come on.
345
00:13:24,665 --> 00:13:27,566
Show me one little
something here.
346
00:13:31,204 --> 00:13:33,439
What are you going to do, Billy?
Come on, Billy.
347
00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:28,765
There he is.
348
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,133
Nickrophiliac!
- Hey.
349
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,502
How you been?
350
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,338
Good. Just working away.
- Yeah.
351
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,572
Yeah. I see that.
- Yeah.
352
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:36,773
Don't slag off
on the corners.
353
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:38,175
Okay.
354
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,844
The corners are so important.
- All right.
355
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,913
'Cause we got people tracking
shit in here all the time.
356
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,213
Okay.
357
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:46,084
And I mean, like,
literally dog shit.
358
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,385
Jesus.
359
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,720
Huh? - Wow, I should've
worn some gloves.
360
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,456
I said I should've worn
some gloves.
361
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:51,724
Gloves aren't
gonna help you.
362
00:14:51,726 --> 00:14:53,691
You don't want
protector duty?
363
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,393
'Cause I got another
place I can put you:
364
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,296
out on the curb,
twirling the big arrow.
365
00:14:57,298 --> 00:14:58,364
Does that sound good?
366
00:14:58,366 --> 00:14:59,698
Hot sun beating
down on you?
367
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,400
I've lost three of those
guys to skin cancer.
368
00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:03,135
We call that curb
"the widow maker. "
369
00:15:03,137 --> 00:15:05,137
I don't want to go out to
the widow maker. - Okay?
370
00:15:05,139 --> 00:15:07,807
How do you think you'd fare out
there with that alabaster skin?
371
00:15:07,809 --> 00:15:09,943
Well, I-I don't know.
- I'll tell you.
372
00:15:09,945 --> 00:15:11,211
You'd be dead in a year.
373
00:15:11,213 --> 00:15:12,678
It felt like you...
374
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,280
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
375
00:15:14,282 --> 00:15:15,315
Jeggings.
- What?
376
00:15:15,317 --> 00:15:17,083
Jeggings, 5:00.
- Where?
377
00:15:17,085 --> 00:15:19,754
Right there.
378
00:15:19,756 --> 00:15:21,821
I'd like to play around
in that rumpus room.
379
00:15:21,823 --> 00:15:23,423
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
380
00:15:23,425 --> 00:15:24,825
Have you done the back door yet?
381
00:15:24,827 --> 00:15:26,427
Do what?
- Back door.
382
00:15:26,429 --> 00:15:27,795
Back-door action.
383
00:15:27,797 --> 00:15:29,531
"Knock-knock. " Back door.
384
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,031
No.
- "It's me. "
385
00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:31,832
No.
386
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:33,834
"With my penis. "
- No.
387
00:15:33,836 --> 00:15:35,370
A life changer.
388
00:15:35,372 --> 00:15:37,005
It is a life changer!
389
00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:39,908
You VIP your way
into that back alley,
390
00:15:39,910 --> 00:15:41,977
you don't even think about
the main entrance anymore.
391
00:15:41,979 --> 00:15:44,713
You know what I mean by
"the main entrance"?
392
00:15:44,715 --> 00:15:47,850
We're talking dick
into the vagina.
393
00:15:47,852 --> 00:15:50,185
Kevin, this is
an awkward conversation.
394
00:15:50,187 --> 00:15:51,253
Why?
395
00:15:51,255 --> 00:15:53,456
Because you're going out
with my sister!
396
00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:56,659
Oh, yeah. Well, don't-don't
think we didn't go through
397
00:15:56,661 --> 00:15:58,028
a period of adjustment.
398
00:15:58,030 --> 00:15:59,263
Adjustment?
399
00:15:59,265 --> 00:16:00,596
Can you gentlemen help me?
400
00:16:00,598 --> 00:16:02,698
Yes, ma'am. Nick is
one of our best.
401
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,134
In fact, his
entire family
402
00:16:04,136 --> 00:16:06,303
knows their way
around a mattress.
403
00:16:08,339 --> 00:16:09,807
Get it.
- What are...?
404
00:16:09,809 --> 00:16:12,342
Get it done.
- My question is about
405
00:16:12,344 --> 00:16:14,145
memory foam versus standard.
406
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,347
Specifically as it relates
to lumbar support.
407
00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:18,249
What?
408
00:16:18,251 --> 00:16:19,684
Lumbar support.
- I'm... Okay, I'm sorry.
409
00:16:19,686 --> 00:16:21,419
Hi, great choice in mattress.
- Yeah.
410
00:16:21,421 --> 00:16:23,888
Why don't you go ahead
and, uh, lie down there.
411
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:25,524
Let's try to work our way
through this conundrum,
412
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,026
uh, because what I think
you're asking is... - Oh, man.
413
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,462
Uh, Billy, I'm with a customer,
thank you. - Sure.
414
00:16:30,464 --> 00:16:32,465
Pardon me, ma'am, yeah,
just maybe start off on this.
415
00:16:32,467 --> 00:16:34,667
Yeah. Just lay it down.
- Yeah, come here for a second.
416
00:16:34,669 --> 00:16:36,403
Hey, what
are you doing here?
417
00:16:36,405 --> 00:16:37,903
Listen, I got it.
418
00:16:37,905 --> 00:16:39,205
I've seen the future,
and it's beautiful for us.
419
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,906
Okay, I don't know
what you got,
420
00:16:40,908 --> 00:16:43,009
but I got a job here,
and I don't want to lose it.
421
00:16:43,011 --> 00:16:44,177
Now, can we talk
about this later?
422
00:16:44,179 --> 00:16:45,645
No, we can't talk
about it later.
423
00:16:45,647 --> 00:16:47,146
The future doesn't know later.
424
00:16:47,148 --> 00:16:48,081
What are you...?
425
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:49,649
All the future is,
is later.
426
00:16:49,651 --> 00:16:51,251
That's literally
what the future is.
427
00:16:51,253 --> 00:16:52,085
It's later.
428
00:16:52,087 --> 00:16:53,421
What are you talking about?
429
00:16:53,423 --> 00:16:54,789
Google.
430
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,690
Google?
- Yeah.
431
00:16:56,692 --> 00:16:57,924
The place is amazing.
432
00:16:57,926 --> 00:16:59,861
They got nap pods,
they got massage rooms,
433
00:16:59,863 --> 00:17:00,928
they got a volleyball court.
434
00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:02,396
They got the whole nine.
435
00:17:02,398 --> 00:17:04,766
It's ranked as the greatest
place to work at in America.
436
00:17:04,768 --> 00:17:06,300
Yeah, I know.
It's a technology company...
437
00:17:06,302 --> 00:17:08,069
a field we know
jack squat about.
438
00:17:08,071 --> 00:17:09,704
Look-it, Google needs us.
439
00:17:09,706 --> 00:17:11,306
And Google wants us.
440
00:17:11,308 --> 00:17:12,407
They do?
441
00:17:12,409 --> 00:17:13,942
You sweet son of a bitch.
442
00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:15,644
You got us a job at Google?
443
00:17:15,646 --> 00:17:16,912
Well, it's not actually a job.
444
00:17:16,914 --> 00:17:18,347
What do you mean,
not an actual job?
445
00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:20,415
Well, it's an interview
for an internship that has
446
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:23,086
a better-than-not chance
of materializing into a job.
447
00:17:23,088 --> 00:17:25,854
Billy, now you're
making me very angry.
448
00:17:25,856 --> 00:17:28,758
You want me to leave my job
to go for an interview,
449
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,060
not for a job
but for an internship
450
00:17:31,062 --> 00:17:32,763
that may or may not
lead to a job?
451
00:17:32,765 --> 00:17:35,732
Nick, aren't you tired of asking
for just enough to get by?
452
00:17:35,734 --> 00:17:36,866
Yes.
453
00:17:36,868 --> 00:17:39,603
I want to do something
that matters.
454
00:17:39,605 --> 00:17:42,773
I want to have a life that I'm
excited about and that's great.
455
00:17:42,775 --> 00:17:45,109
Nick, I want us
to go to California.
456
00:17:45,111 --> 00:17:47,578
And I want us to get
these jobs at Google.
457
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,648
I'm going to speak
to a manager.
458
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:52,117
Terrific. I think he's right
over there in the corner.
459
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,385
Let's roll it on over
onto the stomach.
460
00:17:54,387 --> 00:17:56,187
He'll be very helpful.
- Okay, what we're gonna do here
461
00:17:56,189 --> 00:17:58,256
is get a little support
for the hips.
462
00:17:58,258 --> 00:18:00,192
So here comes... Imagine a
pillow, right like there, okay?
463
00:18:00,194 --> 00:18:01,427
Oh. Uh-huh.
464
00:18:01,429 --> 00:18:02,862
And what we're gonna do
is separate the feet,
465
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,863
create a little heat dispersion.
466
00:18:04,865 --> 00:18:06,265
Excuse me!
- Now, so we have...
467
00:18:06,267 --> 00:18:09,302
Is there something
I can help you with, ma'am?!
468
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:11,203
What?!
469
00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:12,872
I'm trying to buy a mattress.
470
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,273
Unbelievable!
471
00:18:14,275 --> 00:18:16,242
Listen, our interview
is in one hour.
472
00:18:16,244 --> 00:18:18,712
Now, Nick, this might be
the last chance that we got.
473
00:18:18,714 --> 00:18:22,182
How's it going, Gossip Girls?
CW just called; you're canceled.
474
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,083
Excuse me?
475
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:24,451
Look, I know you're peddling him
476
00:18:24,453 --> 00:18:27,020
a bunch of crap,
just like the crap merchandise
477
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,122
you two used to shill.
478
00:18:28,124 --> 00:18:30,058
So, listen up, Marfan Syndrome.
479
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:31,659
Excuse me?
- Marfansism.
480
00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:32,793
Big man's disease.
481
00:18:32,795 --> 00:18:33,962
The Giant Killer.
482
00:18:33,964 --> 00:18:35,730
You.
- Me and you are the same height.
483
00:18:35,732 --> 00:18:38,032
We're not the same height.
We're not the same height.
484
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,835
I'm handsome tall.
485
00:18:39,837 --> 00:18:42,370
You're the type of tall where
you walk through the airport,
486
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,639
people stop what they're eating
and look at you.
487
00:18:44,641 --> 00:18:46,175
You're like a freak.
488
00:18:46,177 --> 00:18:47,910
Now, Nick,
you have a customer waiting.
489
00:18:47,912 --> 00:18:51,213
Nick... we have
our future waiting.
490
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:52,581
Nick, you know what that says?
491
00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:54,216
No, I don't read Sanskrit.
492
00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,653
"Make reasonable choices. "
493
00:18:56,655 --> 00:18:59,856
That's an odd thing
to get tattooed on your neck.
494
00:18:59,858 --> 00:19:03,193
Just get back to work!
495
00:19:03,195 --> 00:19:05,362
God! I'm sorry
you had to see that, ma'am.
496
00:19:05,364 --> 00:19:07,264
Now, let's get
back to you
497
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:08,599
and talk pelvic
ventilation.
498
00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:09,600
Kevin!
499
00:19:09,602 --> 00:19:11,568
What?
500
00:19:11,570 --> 00:19:12,837
You know, you've been saying
501
00:19:12,839 --> 00:19:14,438
some insulting things
to me all day.
502
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,640
What are you doing?
503
00:19:15,642 --> 00:19:17,074
I'm taking the shirt off.
504
00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:18,142
Because I don't know
505
00:19:18,144 --> 00:19:19,443
what happens
to a dream deferred.
506
00:19:19,445 --> 00:19:22,546
Does it dry up like
a raisin in the sun?
507
00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:24,549
Or does it explode?
508
00:19:24,551 --> 00:19:26,485
I don't want to find out.
509
00:19:27,987 --> 00:19:30,122
You just made the worst mistake
of your life, my friend.
510
00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:32,190
Hey, hey-hey-hey-hey,
yeah, hey!
511
00:19:32,192 --> 00:19:34,359
You take the shirt off,
it doesn't go back on, okay?
512
00:19:34,361 --> 00:19:36,462
There's not a
second chance!
513
00:19:38,498 --> 00:19:40,032
See you in hell!
514
00:19:41,802 --> 00:19:43,136
So we're meeting our
interviewer in here?
515
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:44,737
No, not in here.
We're meeting him in here.
516
00:19:44,739 --> 00:19:45,872
It's a Hangout.
517
00:19:45,874 --> 00:19:47,307
This is how people
do it now, Nicky...
518
00:19:47,309 --> 00:19:49,008
they have their interviews
on the Internet. - Oh.
519
00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:50,309
I like it.
520
00:19:50,311 --> 00:19:52,980
Now, it says here
that the internship
521
00:19:52,982 --> 00:19:54,882
is only for college
students, so...
522
00:19:54,884 --> 00:19:56,517
Guess who's way ahead of you.
523
00:19:56,519 --> 00:19:59,319
That's why I enrolled us
at the University of Phoenix.
524
00:19:59,321 --> 00:20:00,988
That proud online institution.
525
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:02,222
Go, Fighting Phoenixes.
526
00:20:02,224 --> 00:20:03,258
Nice.
527
00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,527
Wait, you put my major
down as physics?
528
00:20:05,529 --> 00:20:07,161
Why-why would you put
my major down as...
529
00:20:07,163 --> 00:20:08,195
I don't know shit
about physics.
530
00:20:08,197 --> 00:20:09,731
Look...
- Physics scares me.
531
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:12,033
These guys paint the corner
of the plate with their pitches.
532
00:20:12,035 --> 00:20:13,868
They're not gonna come
straight down the middle
533
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:15,771
and ask you about physics;
it's too obvious.
534
00:20:15,773 --> 00:20:17,038
I took it off the table.
535
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,473
Good. Hide in plain sight.
536
00:20:18,475 --> 00:20:20,109
Yes.
537
00:20:20,111 --> 00:20:22,278
But you put you down for
sales? As your major?
538
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,379
Well, 'cause I'm a talker.
539
00:20:23,381 --> 00:20:25,014
I figure I should
probably dazzle.
540
00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:26,582
I want you to... you know,
I've thought about this.
541
00:20:26,584 --> 00:20:28,417
I just figure, like, hide
your vacancy and let me dazzle.
542
00:20:28,419 --> 00:20:29,685
Okay, dazzle.
Are you done yet?
543
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,054
There's a 15-minute limit.
544
00:20:31,056 --> 00:20:32,556
I'm sorry, you know what?
545
00:20:32,558 --> 00:20:34,191
The big boys are gonna need
the computer a little longer,
546
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:35,558
but maybe we can make this
a win-win for you.
547
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,860
Get yourself a soda pop.
548
00:20:36,862 --> 00:20:38,095
Give her some money, yeah.
Here you go.
549
00:20:38,097 --> 00:20:39,696
Yeah, just go put
some sugar in your body.
550
00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:41,098
Enjoy it.
- What a cute kid.
551
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,767
I'm no child, but, Billy...
- Okay, here they are.
552
00:20:42,769 --> 00:20:44,402
Now, when I hit this, they'll be
able to see us, so come on in,
553
00:20:44,404 --> 00:20:45,969
get in there close so we
can be seen on the Webcam.
554
00:20:45,971 --> 00:20:47,437
See how small the Webcam is?
- They can see us...
555
00:20:47,439 --> 00:20:49,373
No, get cheek to cheek.
Nick, come here, cheek to cheek.
556
00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:51,109
Okay, but don't crowd me.
You're crowding me right now.
557
00:20:51,111 --> 00:20:52,844
Nick, get cheek to cheek.
Will you get your cheek...
558
00:20:52,846 --> 00:20:54,912
Buddy, they can't see us.
- I understand that. Here we go.
559
00:20:54,914 --> 00:20:56,714
Go cheek to cheek. Just go like I tell you.
- Okay. Don't yell in my...
560
00:20:56,716 --> 00:20:58,082
Put your fucking cheek next to mine.
- Yes, yes, I get it.
561
00:20:58,084 --> 00:20:59,251
We can see you guys.
562
00:20:59,253 --> 00:21:00,786
Okay, great!
- Good! You got us?
563
00:21:00,788 --> 00:21:02,054
Hi! My name is Billy!
564
00:21:02,056 --> 00:21:03,922
Uh, we can hear you
fine as well.
565
00:21:03,924 --> 00:21:04,957
Oh, great. Um...
- Good.
566
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:05,958
Billy McMahon.
567
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:06,992
Nick Campbell.
568
00:21:06,994 --> 00:21:08,627
I'm Benjamin.
- Allison.
569
00:21:08,629 --> 00:21:09,829
We're thirsty, too.
570
00:21:09,831 --> 00:21:11,064
Okay, slow it down
there, camper.
571
00:21:11,066 --> 00:21:12,065
I'm not an ATM.
572
00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:13,233
I got a job interview here.
573
00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:14,600
Thank you.
- We'll be back.
574
00:21:14,602 --> 00:21:16,669
Okay, easy.
- Are you in a library?
575
00:21:16,671 --> 00:21:18,271
You know, we're in a program
here called... - We are.
576
00:21:18,273 --> 00:21:19,372
There's some beautiful
little kids here.
577
00:21:19,374 --> 00:21:20,840
Yeah, kids.
Helping kids program...
578
00:21:20,842 --> 00:21:22,676
one of the things we're
involved in... where we take
579
00:21:22,678 --> 00:21:25,211
suburban kids and we teach them
what it's like to be homeless.
580
00:21:25,213 --> 00:21:26,981
Oh, what's it called?
- Oh, it's-it's called, uh...
581
00:21:26,983 --> 00:21:28,716
Attitude Adjustment.
- Attitude Adjustment.
582
00:21:28,718 --> 00:21:30,484
And that's where we are today.
We're helping the kids.
583
00:21:30,486 --> 00:21:32,187
And-and to be honest with you,
we did the interview here
584
00:21:32,189 --> 00:21:33,587
because we wanted
to help out,
585
00:21:33,589 --> 00:21:35,589
and also we don't have Webcams
for our computer.
586
00:21:35,591 --> 00:21:37,324
If you don't have
a Webcam on your computer,
587
00:21:37,326 --> 00:21:39,361
what type of computer do you
use for your coding ability?
588
00:21:39,363 --> 00:21:41,696
Coding ability?
- Uh, yeah.
589
00:21:41,698 --> 00:21:43,899
Uh, under computer skills,
you put "C-plus-plus. "
590
00:21:43,901 --> 00:21:45,200
That's actually a C-plus.
591
00:21:45,202 --> 00:21:46,635
What's that?
- Well, the second plus is
592
00:21:46,637 --> 00:21:48,905
to reflect my attitude
of how I felt about the C-plus.
593
00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:50,039
But it's a C-plus.
594
00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:51,040
It was a typing class.
595
00:21:51,042 --> 00:21:52,274
You know, same principle,
596
00:21:52,276 --> 00:21:53,942
just not the engine
inside the baby there.
597
00:21:53,944 --> 00:21:55,211
But it was more like
"quick brown fox. "
598
00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:56,212
You know, put your hands
in the basin,
599
00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:57,380
and crushing it like that.
600
00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:59,248
But that h-helped me out
a lot when I,
601
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:00,751
as I started my journey
into computers
602
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,685
because I already knew
where to put my hands, clearly.
603
00:22:02,687 --> 00:22:05,521
Okay, if we could focus on
this now... you are currently
604
00:22:05,523 --> 00:22:07,558
enrolled at the University
of Phoenix online?
605
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,092
Indeed, yes, we are.
- Damn right we are.
606
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:10,360
Damn right we are.
- It's, uh, the oldest
607
00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,029
institution of its
kind, and as such,
608
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:15,499
many people refer to it as the
Harvard of Internet colleges.
609
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:16,700
Oh! I hadn't
heard that actually.
610
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:17,969
I... No.
611
00:22:17,971 --> 00:22:19,337
That-that has not
made it out here,
612
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:20,337
that reputation.
- Well, we're Phoenix proud.
613
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,338
We're Phoenix proud.
614
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,607
Well, that's fine.
615
00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:24,309
Um, we're gonna ask you
a few questions
616
00:22:24,311 --> 00:22:26,177
that some of our candidates
find a little bit odd.
617
00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,178
Let's get weird!
618
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:28,781
No judgment. Shoot.
619
00:22:28,783 --> 00:22:30,982
You're shrunken down
to the size of nickels
620
00:22:30,984 --> 00:22:32,750
and dropped to the
bottom of a blender.
621
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,019
What do you do?
622
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:36,055
I... Is there anything
else in the blender?
623
00:22:36,057 --> 00:22:37,289
Uh, I don't know.
624
00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:38,357
Well, that's gonna
make a difference.
625
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:39,491
Are there ice cubes
to climb on?
626
00:22:39,493 --> 00:22:40,826
Are we working with
a daiquiri here?
627
00:22:40,828 --> 00:22:42,328
Are we throwing
a little rum in?
628
00:22:42,330 --> 00:22:43,863
Are we making a smoothie?
- It's been a long week.
629
00:22:43,865 --> 00:22:45,832
Maybe we want to let these
little guys live a little.
630
00:22:45,834 --> 00:22:47,500
Okay, for the sake of the
argument, let's say it's empty.
631
00:22:47,502 --> 00:22:48,702
Sure. - Well, in that case,
it's easy, then.
632
00:22:48,704 --> 00:22:49,835
Why?
- I'm sorry?
633
00:22:49,837 --> 00:22:51,271
If we're shrunk down
to the size
634
00:22:51,273 --> 00:22:52,405
of a nickel and there's
no liquid in the blender,
635
00:22:52,407 --> 00:22:53,673
we go ahead
and put it on our backs.
636
00:22:53,675 --> 00:22:55,442
So you take her flat
on your back like this.
637
00:22:55,444 --> 00:22:57,411
Right, right, right. You just
lay back, enjoy that breeze.
638
00:22:57,413 --> 00:22:58,612
Lay stiff as a board, light as a feather.
- Pretend it's a fan.
639
00:22:58,614 --> 00:22:59,980
Okay, once is...
- And let those blades
640
00:22:59,982 --> 00:23:01,047
just whip all around
you like this.
641
00:23:03,019 --> 00:23:04,719
It's like getting an MRI.
- Dazzle, dazzle.
642
00:23:04,721 --> 00:23:06,087
Once this blender's on,
it's on forever.
643
00:23:06,089 --> 00:23:07,289
It's on. Forever.
644
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,856
Respectfully,
I got to disagree.
645
00:23:08,858 --> 00:23:11,459
We sold blenders, and even
the best model in the world
646
00:23:11,461 --> 00:23:13,028
is only gonna run nonstop
for, what, Billy?
647
00:23:13,030 --> 00:23:14,162
Even the Germans,
the Germans could never...
648
00:23:14,164 --> 00:23:15,931
Yeah. Even the
German model.
649
00:23:15,933 --> 00:23:17,865
Even one of those Braun ones,
they're only gonna run nonstop
650
00:23:17,867 --> 00:23:20,068
maybe ten or 11 hours.
So we're getting out,
651
00:23:20,070 --> 00:23:21,703
and when we do,
we're better off for it,
652
00:23:21,705 --> 00:23:23,138
because whatever doesn't
kill you makes you stronger.
653
00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:24,407
But let's just go ahead
654
00:23:24,409 --> 00:23:26,009
and big-picture this
for a second, if I can.
655
00:23:26,011 --> 00:23:27,676
Just like the
founders of Google.
656
00:23:27,678 --> 00:23:28,844
Big-picture Googling.
657
00:23:28,846 --> 00:23:31,481
It's not so much
getting out of the blender;
658
00:23:31,483 --> 00:23:33,149
it's what happens next.
659
00:23:33,151 --> 00:23:34,717
That's the question.
660
00:23:34,719 --> 00:23:37,253
You've got two nickel-sized
men free in the world.
661
00:23:37,255 --> 00:23:38,755
Think of the possibilities.
- I mean, I... I...
662
00:23:38,757 --> 00:23:40,557
off the top of my head,
and I'm just spitballing here.
663
00:23:40,559 --> 00:23:42,326
My head's swimming.
- Sunglass repair?
664
00:23:42,328 --> 00:23:43,961
Yeah, yeah... - We'd be hell on
those little screws.
665
00:23:43,963 --> 00:23:46,130
Or maybe you stick us in
those submarines that they put
666
00:23:46,132 --> 00:23:47,598
in people's bodies
to fight diseases.
667
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,366
That's cutting-edge
right there.
668
00:23:49,368 --> 00:23:50,901
Okay, you... That's-that's
not a real thing,
669
00:23:50,903 --> 00:23:51,903
the submarines.
- No.
670
00:23:51,905 --> 00:23:53,071
Wait a minute.
671
00:23:53,073 --> 00:23:54,239
I thought we were
stuck in a blender.
672
00:23:54,241 --> 00:23:55,407
Now we're saving lives?
What?!
673
00:23:55,409 --> 00:23:56,941
Uh, what?
- What?
674
00:23:56,943 --> 00:23:58,176
- What?! - What?!
- What?
675
00:23:58,178 --> 00:23:59,411
Let me just recap this
for you real quick.
676
00:23:59,413 --> 00:24:00,412
We started off in a blend...
- Yeah.
677
00:24:00,414 --> 00:24:01,613
Now we're saving lives!
678
00:24:01,615 --> 00:24:02,681
- What?!
- What?!
679
00:24:02,683 --> 00:24:04,517
- What? What? - What?
- Wait a minute!
680
00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:06,318
We were stuck in a blender...
- What a journey!
681
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,552
...and now we saving lives?!
682
00:24:07,554 --> 00:24:08,955
What?!
- You guys led us to this.
683
00:24:08,957 --> 00:24:10,256
Thank you.
684
00:24:10,258 --> 00:24:11,757
I think we've gotten
a little far afield.
685
00:24:11,759 --> 00:24:13,259
Just a little off topic.
686
00:24:13,261 --> 00:24:15,394
Ally, I'll get inside you
and I'll fight for you.
687
00:24:15,396 --> 00:24:16,796
Uh, thank you.
I... I appreciate that, but...
688
00:24:16,798 --> 00:24:18,164
Which one of you...
which one of you is physics?
689
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:19,733
Mr. Campbell?
690
00:24:19,735 --> 00:24:23,203
You could maybe expound
on this from a physics aspect.
691
00:24:23,205 --> 00:24:24,337
Physics.
692
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:25,639
Here, here...
693
00:24:25,641 --> 00:24:28,642
Listen, the...
I... I could bend your ear
694
00:24:28,644 --> 00:24:31,212
about physics and various
physical phenomenon,
695
00:24:31,214 --> 00:24:33,680
but the truth is,
we were in a blender.
696
00:24:33,682 --> 00:24:36,784
We lost our jobs,
we'd given up.
697
00:24:36,786 --> 00:24:38,987
So I think we already
answered the question
698
00:24:38,989 --> 00:24:40,288
when we took
this interview.
699
00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:42,925
We got ourselves out,
and here we are.
700
00:24:42,927 --> 00:24:45,660
If you guys really want to know
what happens when you take
701
00:24:45,662 --> 00:24:49,164
two guys out of a blender...
I'm sorry, Allison, is it?
702
00:24:49,166 --> 00:24:50,833
Yes.
703
00:24:50,835 --> 00:24:52,201
Then give us a shot.
704
00:24:52,203 --> 00:24:54,636
And I think you'd be
happy that you did.
705
00:24:56,473 --> 00:24:58,407
So, who is our next applicant?
706
00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:01,177
Ah, our two daiquiri men.
707
00:25:01,179 --> 00:25:03,579
So, what are we
thinking... Dana?
708
00:25:03,581 --> 00:25:05,882
You're kidding, right?
709
00:25:05,884 --> 00:25:07,083
No.
710
00:25:07,085 --> 00:25:08,385
Eleanor?
711
00:25:08,387 --> 00:25:10,821
Mmm, they seem like
really nice guys,
712
00:25:10,823 --> 00:25:12,856
but I... I don't think so.
- Okay. Moving on.
713
00:25:12,858 --> 00:25:13,857
Oh, can I say something?
714
00:25:13,859 --> 00:25:15,191
You can. You will.
715
00:25:15,193 --> 00:25:16,761
We will resent you
for wasting our time,
716
00:25:16,763 --> 00:25:18,362
but please don't let that
stop you.
717
00:25:18,364 --> 00:25:20,832
It's just, diversity is
in our DNA, right?
718
00:25:20,834 --> 00:25:22,366
I thought the goal here
719
00:25:22,368 --> 00:25:24,735
was to find people with a
different way of thinking.
720
00:25:24,737 --> 00:25:26,370
There's plenty of people with
a different way of thinking.
721
00:25:26,372 --> 00:25:27,672
It doesn't mean
that we have to hire them.
722
00:25:27,674 --> 00:25:29,741
Very good point, Dana.
Moving on.
723
00:25:29,743 --> 00:25:31,308
I'm sorry, but you read
their r�sum�s, right?
724
00:25:31,310 --> 00:25:33,378
They have more years
725
00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:34,746
of sales and life experience
726
00:25:34,748 --> 00:25:36,782
than the age
of most of our interns.
727
00:25:36,784 --> 00:25:38,484
Not to mention,
our final judgment
728
00:25:38,486 --> 00:25:40,519
is always based on
the Layover Test, right?
729
00:25:40,521 --> 00:25:41,953
Who would you rather
be stuck next to
730
00:25:41,955 --> 00:25:44,424
at an airport bar
for a six-hour delay?
731
00:25:44,426 --> 00:25:46,325
The ten millionth kid
who knows that if you shrink,
732
00:25:46,327 --> 00:25:47,493
your strength-to-weight ratio
733
00:25:47,495 --> 00:25:50,229
allows you to jump
way higher? Duh.
734
00:25:50,231 --> 00:25:51,731
Or the out-of-the-box thinkers
735
00:25:51,733 --> 00:25:53,766
who turned being
stuck in a blender
736
00:25:53,768 --> 00:25:55,736
into an advantage?
737
00:25:58,339 --> 00:26:00,374
# Tell me how you feel
738
00:26:00,376 --> 00:26:01,742
# What's your fantasy, oh?
739
00:26:01,744 --> 00:26:04,545
# I see us on a beach
down in Mexico #
740
00:26:04,547 --> 00:26:07,415
# You can put your feet up,
be my se�orita #
741
00:26:07,417 --> 00:26:10,250
# We ain't got to rush,
just take it slow #
742
00:26:10,252 --> 00:26:12,787
# You'll be in the high life,
soaking up the sunlight #
743
00:26:12,789 --> 00:26:15,723
# Anything you want,
it's yours #
744
00:26:15,725 --> 00:26:18,760
# I'll have you living life
like you should #
745
00:26:18,762 --> 00:26:21,463
# You say you never
had it so good... #
746
00:26:21,465 --> 00:26:23,966
So it begins.
747
00:26:23,968 --> 00:26:25,101
Here we go.
748
00:26:25,103 --> 00:26:26,202
Place is incredible.
749
00:26:26,204 --> 00:26:27,503
Where do we check in?
750
00:26:27,505 --> 00:26:28,904
Let's ask somebody here.
751
00:26:28,906 --> 00:26:30,406
Oh, excuse me!
752
00:26:30,408 --> 00:26:32,108
I'm sorry, excuse me, do you...
753
00:26:35,079 --> 00:26:38,080
Billy?
754
00:26:38,082 --> 00:26:40,450
It's scary because it's new.
755
00:26:40,452 --> 00:26:41,751
Let's go check in.
756
00:26:41,753 --> 00:26:44,087
Head towards those
big, big letters there.
757
00:26:44,089 --> 00:26:45,556
What's up, family?
758
00:26:45,558 --> 00:26:47,891
# Girl, tell me how you feel
759
00:26:47,893 --> 00:26:49,493
# What's your fantasy, oh?
760
00:26:49,495 --> 00:26:51,963
# I see us on a beach
down in Mexico #
761
00:26:51,965 --> 00:26:55,834
# You can put your feet up,
be my se�orita #
762
00:26:55,836 --> 00:26:58,035
# We ain't got to rush,
just take it slow #
763
00:26:58,037 --> 00:27:00,638
# You'll be in the high life,
soaking up the sunlight #
764
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,608
# Anything you want,
it's yours #
765
00:27:02,610 --> 00:27:04,376
# I'll have you living life
766
00:27:04,378 --> 00:27:05,677
- What's your last name?
# Like you should
767
00:27:05,679 --> 00:27:09,414
# You say you never
had it so good #
768
00:27:09,416 --> 00:27:11,650
# Na na-na na-na na-na #
769
00:27:11,652 --> 00:27:14,621
# Na na na #
# You never had it so good
770
00:27:14,623 --> 00:27:16,788
# Na na-na na-na na-na #
771
00:27:16,790 --> 00:27:20,860
# Na na-na na #
# You never had it so good...
772
00:27:20,862 --> 00:27:23,163
Picture the greatest
amusement park
773
00:27:23,165 --> 00:27:24,798
you've ever been to as a kid.
774
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,300
Now imagine a place
nothing like it
775
00:27:27,302 --> 00:27:29,637
and a million times better.
776
00:27:29,639 --> 00:27:31,705
That's where we are.
777
00:27:31,707 --> 00:27:33,240
I'm gonna grab us a coffee.
778
00:27:33,242 --> 00:27:34,341
You check us in.
779
00:27:34,343 --> 00:27:36,210
Yeah.
780
00:27:41,317 --> 00:27:42,584
Morning.
781
00:27:42,586 --> 00:27:44,351
Hi.
- What's the damage here?
782
00:27:44,353 --> 00:27:47,355
Nothing.
783
00:27:47,357 --> 00:27:48,623
For the... for these?
784
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:50,592
Free.
- These are complimentary?
785
00:27:50,594 --> 00:27:51,928
Complimentary. Free.
786
00:27:51,930 --> 00:27:53,362
Whatever you want.
787
00:27:53,364 --> 00:27:54,729
What you're just saying is if I...
788
00:27:54,731 --> 00:27:56,097
whatever I walk away
with here...
789
00:27:56,099 --> 00:27:57,099
It's free.
790
00:27:57,101 --> 00:27:58,301
...doesn't... yeah.
791
00:27:58,303 --> 00:27:59,869
You can have bananas.
792
00:27:59,871 --> 00:28:01,871
I probably should, only because
it's a great way to st...
793
00:28:01,873 --> 00:28:03,439
This is the most important
meal of the day.
794
00:28:03,441 --> 00:28:04,840
Take two. They're free.
795
00:28:04,842 --> 00:28:06,609
No, I know, but for my day, I need it.
- Yeah.
796
00:28:06,611 --> 00:28:08,445
What about these...
the bagels and all that?
797
00:28:08,447 --> 00:28:09,646
Yeah, it's free.
Anything you want.
798
00:28:09,648 --> 00:28:10,881
If you're insisting,
twist my arm.
799
00:28:10,883 --> 00:28:12,216
I'll have a couple of them.
- Sure.
800
00:28:12,218 --> 00:28:13,416
Like four-four of them.
- Four?
801
00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:14,585
Well, just whatever it is.
- Yeah.
802
00:28:14,587 --> 00:28:16,053
What about five of them?
- Free, too.
803
00:28:16,055 --> 00:28:17,955
Well, why don't you go ahead
and make it seven, then?
804
00:28:17,957 --> 00:28:19,591
If you want to whip up
some of the other drinks.
805
00:28:19,593 --> 00:28:21,059
Do you have a to-go cup,
like, a Guzzler? - Sure.
806
00:28:21,061 --> 00:28:22,593
Do you have, like,
a Rednek Guzzler with a straw?
807
00:28:22,595 --> 00:28:23,994
Excuse me. Pardon me.
- Yes?
808
00:28:23,996 --> 00:28:27,131
Do you know what, uh,
launch this was from?
809
00:28:27,133 --> 00:28:28,800
Sorry. Uh, I have a meeting.
810
00:28:28,802 --> 00:28:30,268
Oh, no, no,
I don't want to hold you.
811
00:28:30,270 --> 00:28:31,537
I was just...
812
00:28:31,539 --> 00:28:33,538
I... I was just curious.
813
00:28:33,540 --> 00:28:35,607
Was this thing
actually in space?
814
00:28:35,609 --> 00:28:38,544
If only there were
some Web page you could go to.
815
00:28:38,546 --> 00:28:39,778
Right?
Where you could just
816
00:28:39,780 --> 00:28:42,281
type things in
and search for answers.
817
00:28:42,283 --> 00:28:44,617
Ah. Yes, that
would be nice.
818
00:28:44,619 --> 00:28:47,119
Nick Campbell.
819
00:28:47,121 --> 00:28:48,488
Uh, oops. Intern.
820
00:28:48,490 --> 00:28:51,390
Dana Simms. Late.
821
00:28:51,392 --> 00:28:52,391
Yep, and I'm late, too.
822
00:28:52,393 --> 00:28:53,526
I got to rush off.
823
00:28:53,528 --> 00:28:55,061
And it's SpaceShipOne.
824
00:28:55,063 --> 00:28:57,197
First private
manned spaceflight.
825
00:28:57,199 --> 00:28:59,200
Winner of the X Prize.
826
00:29:07,242 --> 00:29:08,676
Oh, my God,
are those your dads?
827
00:29:08,678 --> 00:29:11,245
Seriously, same-sex partners
make excellent parents.
828
00:29:11,247 --> 00:29:13,047
I so wish my parents were gay.
829
00:29:13,049 --> 00:29:14,482
When did 20 start
to look like 12?
830
00:29:14,484 --> 00:29:15,917
Oh, man.
831
00:29:15,919 --> 00:29:17,519
Yes, of course
I'll work my hardest.
832
00:29:17,521 --> 00:29:19,054
Mom, how can I work
harder than my hardest?
833
00:29:19,056 --> 00:29:20,722
That's physically
impossible...
834
00:29:20,724 --> 00:29:22,524
Okay, okay, I-I will.
835
00:29:22,526 --> 00:29:24,993
Yes, I love you... Mom.
836
00:29:24,995 --> 00:29:26,396
Billy McMahon, Billy McMahon.
- Nice to meet you.
837
00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:27,764
How are you?
838
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:29,197
Oh, I'm gonna grab
some food over here.
839
00:29:29,199 --> 00:29:30,599
You okay? - Get something.
I'm good.
840
00:29:30,601 --> 00:29:32,168
You all right if I leave you?
- Yeah.
841
00:29:34,171 --> 00:29:35,972
This stuff looks good, huh?
842
00:29:35,974 --> 00:29:37,340
Little pick-me-up.
- Excuse me. Sir.
843
00:29:37,342 --> 00:29:38,841
Graham Hawtrey.
- Oh.
844
00:29:38,843 --> 00:29:40,343
Billy McMahon.
- I'm so thrilled to be here.
845
00:29:40,345 --> 00:29:41,411
Oh, me, too.
846
00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:43,047
Feels kind of like
the first day
847
00:29:43,049 --> 00:29:44,948
of spring training
for Little League here.
848
00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:49,586
I got to tell you, I feel like
I got a few more clicks
849
00:29:49,588 --> 00:29:51,121
on the old odometer
than most of you kids here.
850
00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,756
Well, honestly,
that's why I came over here.
851
00:29:52,758 --> 00:29:54,225
I said to myself,
"Graham, there's a man
852
00:29:54,227 --> 00:29:55,393
"with some life experience.
853
00:29:55,395 --> 00:29:56,695
Probably teach you
a thing or two. "
854
00:29:56,697 --> 00:29:58,162
Oh, you got to meet
my friend, Nicky.
855
00:29:58,164 --> 00:29:58,962
You'll love him. Nicky!
856
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:00,298
Nickelodeon!
Come over here!
857
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:01,299
Come over.
858
00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:02,767
Come meet this guy, Graham.
859
00:30:02,769 --> 00:30:03,868
He's in the internship
program with me and you.
860
00:30:03,870 --> 00:30:04,869
Hey. How you doing?
- Good.
861
00:30:04,871 --> 00:30:06,572
You're interns?
- Yes.
862
00:30:06,574 --> 00:30:08,373
Shut up!
- Deal with it.
863
00:30:08,375 --> 00:30:10,241
Shut the fuck up.
- Deal with it.
864
00:30:10,243 --> 00:30:11,544
But you're so old, though.
865
00:30:11,546 --> 00:30:13,012
Whoa. Excuse me?
866
00:30:13,014 --> 00:30:15,081
Oh, my God, I feel terrible!
I feel so stupid.
867
00:30:15,083 --> 00:30:16,782
No, don't be. We're excited.
- No, it's fine.
868
00:30:16,784 --> 00:30:18,751
- No, I feel terrible. I feel terrible.
- No. For what?
869
00:30:18,753 --> 00:30:20,653
I just, you know, um...
I thought you were important.
870
00:30:20,655 --> 00:30:22,054
Oh, shit.
871
00:30:22,056 --> 00:30:24,091
I've got to find some people
who actually matter,
872
00:30:24,093 --> 00:30:25,359
but good luck!
873
00:30:25,361 --> 00:30:27,794
Wh-Why did you bring me over
to introduce me to this guy?
874
00:30:27,796 --> 00:30:29,262
It's like he was
your best friend.
875
00:30:29,264 --> 00:30:30,664
You introduced me
to Hitler.
876
00:30:30,666 --> 00:30:32,799
Well, he seemed like
he was sweet at first.
877
00:30:32,801 --> 00:30:34,335
My name is Roger Chetty.
878
00:30:34,337 --> 00:30:37,204
And I am head
of the Google Intern Program.
879
00:30:37,206 --> 00:30:39,807
Welcome to Google.
880
00:30:39,809 --> 00:30:42,377
This will not be
your average internship.
881
00:30:42,379 --> 00:30:44,178
Oh, no.
882
00:30:44,180 --> 00:30:46,047
You will do what we do.
883
00:30:46,049 --> 00:30:49,217
And we will watch
how well you do it.
884
00:30:49,219 --> 00:30:51,920
Now, you represent
the finest schools.
885
00:30:51,922 --> 00:30:54,822
Your intelligence,
your achievement is well noted,
886
00:30:54,824 --> 00:30:56,692
but to excel at this internship,
887
00:30:56,694 --> 00:30:59,561
you're going to need
far more than brainpower.
888
00:30:59,563 --> 00:31:03,299
What you're going to need
is Googliness.
889
00:31:05,035 --> 00:31:06,168
Nothing funny.
890
00:31:06,170 --> 00:31:07,404
Googliness.
891
00:31:07,406 --> 00:31:12,343
The intangible stuff
that made a search engine
892
00:31:12,345 --> 00:31:14,511
into an engine for change.
893
00:31:14,513 --> 00:31:17,948
Now, you will be
divided into teams,
894
00:31:17,950 --> 00:31:19,517
and by the end of the summer,
895
00:31:19,519 --> 00:31:23,587
only one team will be guaranteed
a full-time position.
896
00:31:23,589 --> 00:31:28,893
The other 95% of you will not.
897
00:31:28,895 --> 00:31:30,762
Now, you've been split up
into several seminars
898
00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:33,898
to acquaint you
with our campus and culture.
899
00:31:33,900 --> 00:31:36,268
Seminar descriptions have been
e - mailed to each of you.
900
00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:39,738
I would wish you luck,
but it's not luck that you need.
901
00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:41,908
Get to work!
902
00:31:41,910 --> 00:31:43,241
Well, this ain't
gonna be about
903
00:31:43,243 --> 00:31:45,243
getting coffee
and running errands for people.
904
00:31:45,245 --> 00:31:46,479
No, no.
905
00:31:46,481 --> 00:31:48,347
We're looking at some sort
of mental Hunger Games
906
00:31:48,349 --> 00:31:50,850
against a bunch of genius kids
for just a handful of jobs.
907
00:31:50,852 --> 00:31:52,018
That's why we got
to nail this thing.
908
00:31:52,020 --> 00:31:53,219
This is our
opening statement.
909
00:31:53,221 --> 00:31:54,287
If it please the court.
910
00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:55,922
Oh, it pleases
the court, counselor.
911
00:31:55,924 --> 00:31:57,291
Okay, Workplace Seminar.
912
00:31:57,293 --> 00:31:58,425
Still a few seats left.
913
00:31:59,494 --> 00:32:00,594
First impression time, baby.
914
00:32:00,596 --> 00:32:01,761
Bingo!
915
00:32:01,763 --> 00:32:02,696
Okay, we can do
good in this.
916
00:32:02,698 --> 00:32:04,031
We have to do...
- Shazam!
917
00:32:04,033 --> 00:32:05,732
So close yet so far, boys.
918
00:32:05,734 --> 00:32:07,501
Whoa! Graham, Graham,
we were here first.
919
00:32:07,503 --> 00:32:08,503
You know what?
920
00:32:08,505 --> 00:32:09,704
You're right.
921
00:32:09,706 --> 00:32:10,772
You guys could use
the advantage.
922
00:32:10,774 --> 00:32:11,872
Go ahead.
923
00:32:11,874 --> 00:32:13,307
What's that
supposed to mean?
924
00:32:13,309 --> 00:32:15,810
It means that in a world
of excellence,
925
00:32:15,812 --> 00:32:18,646
old and unexceptional
qualifies as diversity.
926
00:32:18,648 --> 00:32:20,249
So you know what?
Go ahead.
927
00:32:20,251 --> 00:32:21,249
What's that saying?
928
00:32:21,251 --> 00:32:23,251
"Age before beauty"?
929
00:32:23,253 --> 00:32:25,054
Thank you.
930
00:32:25,056 --> 00:32:27,056
You're welcome, William.
931
00:32:27,058 --> 00:32:28,791
You know, there's always
some joker
932
00:32:28,793 --> 00:32:30,893
who likes to play fuck-around.
933
00:32:30,895 --> 00:32:33,195
I guess that's
gonna be you, Graham.
934
00:32:33,197 --> 00:32:35,598
All right, at least we know.
Game on.
935
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,367
Good luck, boys.
936
00:32:37,369 --> 00:32:39,869
Now, I recognize that Google
is not a conventional workplace.
937
00:32:39,871 --> 00:32:42,939
Having said that,
we have rules.
938
00:32:42,941 --> 00:32:45,675
I'm going to ask you
a series of questions.
939
00:32:45,677 --> 00:32:47,077
You are going to raise
the green paddle
940
00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:49,846
to indicate "yes"
and the red paddle
941
00:32:49,848 --> 00:32:52,682
to indicate "no. "
942
00:32:52,684 --> 00:32:54,485
So, let's begin.
943
00:32:54,487 --> 00:32:57,154
"Having a beer
with your boss. "
944
00:32:58,991 --> 00:33:02,093
Some of you are under 21.
945
00:33:02,095 --> 00:33:03,661
Some of us
aren't under 21, so...
946
00:33:03,663 --> 00:33:05,063
if you want to grab
a cold one with me,
947
00:33:05,065 --> 00:33:06,431
I'm happy to do that with you.
948
00:33:06,433 --> 00:33:08,833
I will not be grabbing
a cold one with you.
949
00:33:08,835 --> 00:33:09,968
You get high?
950
00:33:09,970 --> 00:33:11,603
I don't get high.
- Okay.
951
00:33:11,605 --> 00:33:13,205
I'm not judging;
I'm just saying,
952
00:33:13,207 --> 00:33:14,006
people do it.
953
00:33:14,008 --> 00:33:15,341
That being said,
if you want
954
00:33:15,343 --> 00:33:17,243
something cold to drink,
we'll hook you up.
955
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:18,310
I'm okay.
956
00:33:18,312 --> 00:33:19,912
Thank you; just
stop talking to me.
957
00:33:19,914 --> 00:33:22,248
I'm your Bill Holden
in Stalag 17.
958
00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:24,450
I don't even... I really
don't get that reference.
959
00:33:24,452 --> 00:33:27,520
Google it.
- Got it.
960
00:33:27,522 --> 00:33:31,357
"Dating a fellow intern. "
961
00:33:31,359 --> 00:33:34,495
This is Google, not Match. com.
962
00:33:34,497 --> 00:33:36,930
Chetty, excuse me.
What about a full-time employee?
963
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:39,133
Say, management level,
but not a direct supervisor.
964
00:33:39,135 --> 00:33:43,838
Great eyes,
and a severity to her look
965
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,007
that is surprisingly sexy.
966
00:33:47,009 --> 00:33:49,110
What's the policy
on that?
967
00:33:49,112 --> 00:33:50,812
No? That's frowned upon also?
968
00:33:50,814 --> 00:33:51,947
So we'll say no to love?
969
00:33:51,949 --> 00:33:53,048
We'll say no to love, yes.
970
00:33:53,050 --> 00:33:54,317
That's gonna be a no.
- Now,
971
00:33:54,319 --> 00:33:57,419
"taking food home
from the office. "
972
00:33:57,421 --> 00:33:58,453
Boom.
973
00:33:58,455 --> 00:33:59,722
Yes.
974
00:33:59,724 --> 00:34:00,756
Are you having
difficulty with this,
975
00:34:00,758 --> 00:34:02,191
Mr. McMahon?
- I'm sorry.
976
00:34:02,193 --> 00:34:03,326
Just to drill down on this,
what if it's,
977
00:34:03,328 --> 00:34:04,927
like, a perishable?
Like, say there was
978
00:34:04,929 --> 00:34:06,362
a pudding or something
that was left out.
979
00:34:06,364 --> 00:34:08,197
You'd like to take home
a pudding, would you?
980
00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:09,865
I wouldn't mind taking home
a pudding; I don't...
981
00:34:09,867 --> 00:34:11,368
I don't know who wouldn't.
- Oh, yeah.
982
00:34:11,370 --> 00:34:13,203
But that being said,
I'm just saying if it's gonna
983
00:34:13,205 --> 00:34:14,837
go bad, is that okay to take-take it home?
- Mm-hmm.
984
00:34:14,839 --> 00:34:16,305
Mm-hmm. Anything else
you'd like to take home?
985
00:34:16,307 --> 00:34:17,908
Only if there was, let's say,
salsa or chips.
986
00:34:17,910 --> 00:34:19,109
You know,
something that's not wrapped.
987
00:34:19,111 --> 00:34:20,477
Salsa, chips and pudding.
988
00:34:20,479 --> 00:34:21,278
Or sushi.
989
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:22,814
Salsa, chips, pudding and sushi.
990
00:34:22,816 --> 00:34:24,181
Anything else?
- Ice cream.
991
00:34:24,183 --> 00:34:26,183
Salsa, chips, pudding,
sushi and ice cream.
992
00:34:26,185 --> 00:34:28,052
Pizza.
- Salsa, chips, pudding,
993
00:34:28,054 --> 00:34:29,354
sushi, ice cream and pizza.
994
00:34:29,356 --> 00:34:30,722
I wouldn't take home
a frozen pizza,
995
00:34:30,724 --> 00:34:31,856
but if there was a nice pie
996
00:34:31,858 --> 00:34:33,192
that was out...
- Oh, boy.
997
00:34:33,194 --> 00:34:37,028
I am truly impressed,
Mr. McMahon.
998
00:34:37,030 --> 00:34:39,465
Thank you.
- At the both of you.
999
00:34:39,467 --> 00:34:42,568
At how quickly you have
confirmed my doubts about you.
1000
00:34:42,570 --> 00:34:45,337
Now, let's try this
1001
00:34:45,339 --> 00:34:46,438
one more time.
1002
00:34:47,741 --> 00:34:52,512
"Taking food home
from the office. "
1003
00:34:53,513 --> 00:34:55,147
Very good.
1004
00:34:58,853 --> 00:35:01,489
Ladies and gentlemen,
that is all.
1005
00:35:09,831 --> 00:35:11,831
Well, I'm not
gonna dress it up.
1006
00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:13,834
Today didn't go well.
1007
00:35:13,836 --> 00:35:15,169
Yeah.
1008
00:35:15,171 --> 00:35:17,371
It certainly wasn't
the first impression
1009
00:35:17,373 --> 00:35:18,674
we were looking for.
1010
00:35:20,710 --> 00:35:22,777
But here's the deal.
1011
00:35:22,779 --> 00:35:25,080
Tomorrow is
the pick teams day, right?
1012
00:35:25,082 --> 00:35:27,449
Which makes it
all the more important
1013
00:35:27,451 --> 00:35:29,719
for us to fall in
with a strong team.
1014
00:35:29,721 --> 00:35:31,453
If we can surround ourselves
1015
00:35:31,455 --> 00:35:33,155
with the right group
of these little geniuses,
1016
00:35:33,157 --> 00:35:35,725
we still got a shot here.
1017
00:35:35,727 --> 00:35:37,727
Nicky,
1018
00:35:37,729 --> 00:35:39,462
we can coattail this bitch.
1019
00:35:39,464 --> 00:35:42,098
You're right, and by the way,
there's no shame in that.
1020
00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:43,533
No.
- There's no shame
1021
00:35:43,535 --> 00:35:45,903
in being the 12th man
at the end of the bench
1022
00:35:45,905 --> 00:35:47,204
who's never getting
in the game,
1023
00:35:47,206 --> 00:35:48,372
but he's got a lot
of enthusiasm.
1024
00:35:48,374 --> 00:35:50,073
Right.
- He's waving the towel,
1025
00:35:50,075 --> 00:35:51,375
he's doling out high fives
during time-outs.
1026
00:35:51,377 --> 00:35:52,476
Exactly.
1027
00:35:52,478 --> 00:35:54,278
Because I'll tell you
about that guy.
1028
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,547
When the team wins
the championship,
1029
00:35:56,549 --> 00:35:58,016
he still gets a ring.
1030
00:35:58,018 --> 00:35:59,483
Damn right he does.
1031
00:35:59,485 --> 00:36:01,885
So we got to be
that awkward seven-footer
1032
00:36:01,887 --> 00:36:02,887
from Lithuania.
1033
00:36:02,889 --> 00:36:04,155
I love your spirit.
1034
00:36:04,157 --> 00:36:05,790
Look, I love you like a brother,
1035
00:36:05,792 --> 00:36:07,292
but I can't have
those cold clams
1036
00:36:07,294 --> 00:36:09,327
brushing up against me
in the bed here at night.
1037
00:36:09,329 --> 00:36:11,262
Keep me up all night.
- Okay, suit yourself.
1038
00:36:11,264 --> 00:36:13,131
I'm gonna give you the bed;
I'll take her tomorrow.
1039
00:36:13,133 --> 00:36:16,569
Can you hit that light,
Pocahontas?
1040
00:36:16,571 --> 00:36:18,903
Tomorrow's a new day.
1041
00:36:18,905 --> 00:36:21,607
Welcome to day two. I am Sid,
1042
00:36:21,609 --> 00:36:22,908
eighth-year Googler.
1043
00:36:22,910 --> 00:36:25,579
You guys are new Googlers;
1044
00:36:25,581 --> 00:36:27,047
thus you're... Nooglers.
1045
00:36:27,049 --> 00:36:29,181
Okay.
1046
00:36:29,183 --> 00:36:31,985
Now, this place is all about
community and collaboration.
1047
00:36:31,987 --> 00:36:34,387
So you'll be
working in teams
1048
00:36:34,389 --> 00:36:35,789
from here on out. All right.
1049
00:36:35,791 --> 00:36:37,058
You have five minutes.
1050
00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:38,058
Pick your teams.
1051
00:36:38,060 --> 00:36:39,726
You, on me.
1052
00:36:39,728 --> 00:36:40,894
Oh, now, be picky, okay?
1053
00:36:40,896 --> 00:36:42,163
Play hard to get.
1054
00:36:42,165 --> 00:36:43,598
Don't be desperate;
just be cool, okay?
1055
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:44,832
This is everything.
1056
00:36:44,834 --> 00:36:46,400
Are you still looking
for someone?
1057
00:36:46,402 --> 00:36:48,269
I could be your teammate.
- College, major, S.A.T. score?
1058
00:36:48,271 --> 00:36:50,271
Um, Harvard,
computer science, 2390.
1059
00:36:50,273 --> 00:36:51,672
Fine. On me, Fatface.
1060
00:36:51,674 --> 00:36:52,741
Uh, my name's Zach, not...
1061
00:36:52,743 --> 00:36:53,842
You?
- University of...
1062
00:36:53,844 --> 00:36:54,910
No.
1063
00:36:54,912 --> 00:36:56,211
My name's
not Fat...
1064
00:36:56,213 --> 00:36:58,480
Hello, Stanford.
You're coming with me.
1065
00:36:58,482 --> 00:37:00,415
The University
of Phoenix online.
1066
00:37:00,417 --> 00:37:01,950
Sort of considered
the Harvard of the West.
1067
00:37:01,952 --> 00:37:03,245
Why don't we all be a team?
1068
00:37:03,682 --> 00:37:04,986
Why don't we all be a team?
1069
00:37:05,021 --> 00:37:06,355
Why don't we
all be a team?
1070
00:37:06,357 --> 00:37:07,956
Can I just get...
Oh, please don't touch me.
1071
00:37:07,958 --> 00:37:09,091
Please,
you-you're touching me.
1072
00:37:09,093 --> 00:37:10,393
Blondie, you're coming with me
1073
00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:12,128
on account
of your physical appearance.
1074
00:37:12,130 --> 00:37:14,697
Does anyone want to...
want to be on a team with me?
1075
00:37:14,699 --> 00:37:16,232
Super fun.
1076
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,401
Really smart, but also very fun.
1077
00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:21,105
I was voted "most likely to
succeed" in my chess club.
1078
00:37:27,679 --> 00:37:29,680
Um, Mr. Chetty?
1079
00:37:29,682 --> 00:37:32,184
I don't have a group.
1080
00:37:32,186 --> 00:37:34,186
You'll mentor
the leftovers.
1081
00:37:34,188 --> 00:37:36,053
Which, it would seem,
would include
1082
00:37:36,055 --> 00:37:37,889
your two charity cases.
1083
00:37:37,891 --> 00:37:39,558
Nice.
- Off you go.
1084
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,493
Go.
1085
00:37:44,764 --> 00:37:46,064
Yo, Billy and Nick?
1086
00:37:46,066 --> 00:37:47,933
- Hey. - Hi.
- Nice, there they are.
1087
00:37:47,935 --> 00:37:49,202
Nice to meet you.
I'm Lyle,
1088
00:37:49,204 --> 00:37:51,204
one of the team
managers. Pound me.
1089
00:37:51,206 --> 00:37:53,139
Oh, normally,
just putting the-the fist out
1090
00:37:53,141 --> 00:37:55,074
without the words
is all that's necessary.
1091
00:37:55,076 --> 00:37:57,176
Come on, bro, fist me;
get up in there.
1092
00:37:57,178 --> 00:37:59,312
Yeah,
that's definitely not right.
1093
00:37:59,314 --> 00:38:01,014
I... I'm sorry,
you said you were a-a manager?
1094
00:38:01,016 --> 00:38:02,115
How old are you?
1095
00:38:02,117 --> 00:38:04,383
I'm 23, but no worries, fellas.
1096
00:38:04,385 --> 00:38:06,019
I'm an old soul.
- Yeah, that's great.
1097
00:38:06,021 --> 00:38:07,988
Um, yeah, well,
the thing about it is, pal,
1098
00:38:07,990 --> 00:38:10,424
is that, um, we don't have a...
well, we have two... me and...
1099
00:38:10,426 --> 00:38:12,460
me and Nick... but we don't have
the rest of our team.
1100
00:38:12,462 --> 00:38:13,927
We didn't...
- But we figured...
1101
00:38:13,929 --> 00:38:15,896
Correction:
you didn't have a team,
1102
00:38:15,898 --> 00:38:17,632
but you got one now, son.
1103
00:38:17,634 --> 00:38:19,067
'Cause I got a
few outliers.
1104
00:38:19,069 --> 00:38:21,569
Buh-bam, ker-plash, zshaw!
1105
00:38:21,571 --> 00:38:23,638
And we about to get it all good
up in this hood, right?
1106
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,306
Outliers?
1107
00:38:25,308 --> 00:38:27,576
Outliers, 'cause I just dropped
a little G-well on you.
1108
00:38:27,578 --> 00:38:30,045
'Cause Malcolm's my dog,
Malcolm's my dog.
1109
00:38:30,047 --> 00:38:32,013
What you say...
Malcolm's my dog.
1110
00:38:32,015 --> 00:38:33,849
Outliers, you know,
from 10,000 hours?
1111
00:38:33,851 --> 00:38:36,418
Look, let's get
a team meeting going, everybody!
1112
00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:37,686
Come on, team meet time.
1113
00:38:37,688 --> 00:38:40,390
Nick?
- Wonder Twin powers activate!
1114
00:38:40,392 --> 00:38:42,591
What other options do we have?
Let's go, everybody!
1115
00:38:42,593 --> 00:38:44,261
Come on, you're with me!
You're with me.
1116
00:38:44,263 --> 00:38:45,762
Uh...
- My team, corner pocket.
1117
00:38:45,764 --> 00:38:48,665
All right, let's get some
meet and greet going
1118
00:38:48,667 --> 00:38:50,167
up in this heezy.
1119
00:38:50,169 --> 00:38:52,002
I'm Lyle, and it's pretty
much WYSIWYG...
1120
00:38:52,004 --> 00:38:53,370
"what you see is what you get. "
1121
00:38:53,372 --> 00:38:55,439
I've been here at the Goog
for four years,
1122
00:38:55,441 --> 00:38:57,808
working on seven projies
1123
00:38:57,810 --> 00:38:59,076
en este momento.
1124
00:38:59,078 --> 00:39:01,078
Wow, seven projects?
1125
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,480
Hey, they ask, and I do's it.
1126
00:39:02,482 --> 00:39:04,248
What can I say,
I'm a people pleaser,
1127
00:39:04,250 --> 00:39:05,283
especially the ladies.
1128
00:39:05,285 --> 00:39:06,652
My Mercedes.
1129
00:39:06,654 --> 00:39:08,453
So it's all good
in Lyle's hood, you heard?
1130
00:39:08,455 --> 00:39:10,254
Uh, yeah, is Lyle always
1131
00:39:10,256 --> 00:39:12,057
gonna be referring to himself
in the third person?
1132
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:14,226
'Cause if he is, I might want
to punch Lyle in the face.
1133
00:39:14,228 --> 00:39:15,227
Okay, tough but fair.
1134
00:39:15,229 --> 00:39:16,595
Good note.
1135
00:39:16,597 --> 00:39:18,264
Lyle's still a little nervous.
Shh...
1136
00:39:18,266 --> 00:39:20,265
Uh, first-time manager;
Lyle's a first-time...
1137
00:39:20,267 --> 00:39:22,000
I'm gonna stop doing that.
I'm gonna cut it out.
1138
00:39:22,002 --> 00:39:23,770
Keep it to first
and second person.
1139
00:39:23,772 --> 00:39:26,172
Who's next?
1140
00:39:26,174 --> 00:39:29,175
My name is Yo-Yo Santos.
1141
00:39:29,177 --> 00:39:30,310
Yo-Yo, how about a high five?
1142
00:39:30,312 --> 00:39:31,444
Whoa.
- Whoa.
1143
00:39:31,446 --> 00:39:33,513
Yo-Yo, easy, buddy.
I come in peace.
1144
00:39:33,515 --> 00:39:35,015
Geez, Yo-Yo, did you get
1145
00:39:35,017 --> 00:39:36,283
beat up a lot in school?
1146
00:39:36,285 --> 00:39:38,152
I was homeschooled by my mom.
1147
00:39:38,154 --> 00:39:39,352
Did you get beat up
1148
00:39:39,354 --> 00:39:40,754
a lot in homeschool?
1149
00:39:40,756 --> 00:39:42,923
Discipline is a very
important part of growth.
1150
00:39:42,925 --> 00:39:43,924
But my mother
was actually
1151
00:39:43,926 --> 00:39:45,159
a very nurturing person.
1152
00:39:45,161 --> 00:39:46,561
For example, she
provided me selflessly
1153
00:39:46,563 --> 00:39:48,228
with the milk
of her bosom
1154
00:39:48,230 --> 00:39:49,863
until I was
seven years old.
1155
00:39:49,865 --> 00:39:51,366
So it's like, uh,
1156
00:39:51,368 --> 00:39:53,134
you're tying your shoe,
you're climbing trees,
1157
00:39:53,136 --> 00:39:55,203
you're blowing up fireworks,
and then you're right on Mom.
1158
00:39:55,205 --> 00:39:56,404
You got mouth on Mom.
1159
00:39:56,406 --> 00:39:58,273
Breast-feeding leads
to a higher IQ.
1160
00:39:58,275 --> 00:39:59,441
Okay.
Actually, the science
1161
00:39:59,443 --> 00:40:01,776
isn't quite definitive on that.
1162
00:40:01,778 --> 00:40:03,145
I was bottle-fed.
1163
00:40:03,147 --> 00:40:04,213
It never slowed me down.
1164
00:40:04,215 --> 00:40:05,548
Vitamins are vitamins,
1165
00:40:05,550 --> 00:40:08,718
whether they come
from a teat or a baba.
1166
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:10,252
Wrong.
1167
00:40:10,254 --> 00:40:11,554
Sorry, what was that?
1168
00:40:11,556 --> 00:40:12,688
Wrong.
1169
00:40:12,690 --> 00:40:14,358
The teat or baba thing,
it's wrong.
1170
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,993
I just Googled it,
so you're wrong.
1171
00:40:17,127 --> 00:40:18,694
Oh, yeah, I'm Stuart.
1172
00:40:18,696 --> 00:40:20,230
Well, it's a pleasure
1173
00:40:20,232 --> 00:40:21,498
to meet you, Stu.
You know, you can't trust
1174
00:40:21,500 --> 00:40:23,100
everything you read
on the...
1175
00:40:23,102 --> 00:40:25,169
The Journal of the American
Medical Association?
1176
00:40:25,171 --> 00:40:26,269
Sounds pretty trustworthy.
1177
00:40:26,271 --> 00:40:27,371
It says that breast milk
1178
00:40:27,373 --> 00:40:28,438
has more nutrients
1179
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,508
and that those nutrients
1180
00:40:30,510 --> 00:40:32,310
are more easily
digested and absorbed.
1181
00:40:32,312 --> 00:40:33,478
Your confusion
is understandable, though.
1182
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:34,579
You were bottle-fed.
1183
00:40:34,581 --> 00:40:35,813
He's right. That's right.
1184
00:40:35,815 --> 00:40:37,181
Whoa, guys,
1185
00:40:37,183 --> 00:40:38,883
where's all this hostility
coming from?
1186
00:40:38,885 --> 00:40:40,952
Where do you think
it's coming from, you big tree?
1187
00:40:40,954 --> 00:40:42,354
Two fifths
of our team are
1188
00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:44,656
made up of two old guys
who don't know shit.
1189
00:40:44,658 --> 00:40:45,590
Wow.
1190
00:40:45,592 --> 00:40:47,826
Okay, guys, I, for one,
1191
00:40:47,828 --> 00:40:49,595
am very happy to have
1192
00:40:49,597 --> 00:40:52,732
two strapping, mature
gentlemen on the team.
1193
00:40:52,734 --> 00:40:53,733
Thank you.
1194
00:40:53,735 --> 00:40:54,800
Oh, uh,
1195
00:40:54,802 --> 00:40:56,535
I'm Neha Patel,
and oh, my God,
1196
00:40:56,537 --> 00:40:58,371
you guys would make
the best Luke and Han.
1197
00:40:58,373 --> 00:40:59,406
Excuse me?
1198
00:40:59,408 --> 00:41:00,540
Oh, Star Wars cosplay.
1199
00:41:00,542 --> 00:41:02,308
Cosplay?
- Costume play.
1200
00:41:02,310 --> 00:41:03,576
You know, where people dress up
1201
00:41:03,578 --> 00:41:05,278
as their favorite anime
or movie character?
1202
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:06,679
I'd be slave girl Leia.
1203
00:41:06,681 --> 00:41:10,117
Yeah, metal bikini top,
metal G-string panty,
1204
00:41:10,119 --> 00:41:11,352
high-heel leather boots.
1205
00:41:11,354 --> 00:41:13,387
Of course,
I'm chained at the neck.
1206
00:41:13,389 --> 00:41:14,454
Not too constricted,
1207
00:41:14,456 --> 00:41:17,591
but just enough
to make things interesting.
1208
00:41:17,593 --> 00:41:18,826
The neck constriction's
interesting?
1209
00:41:18,828 --> 00:41:19,927
Yeah, a few of us
1210
00:41:19,929 --> 00:41:21,229
get together and...
1211
00:41:21,231 --> 00:41:22,597
whatever happens, happens.
1212
00:41:22,599 --> 00:41:23,531
Oh, uh,
1213
00:41:23,533 --> 00:41:24,999
but work-wise, yeah, um,
1214
00:41:25,001 --> 00:41:26,902
your skills
aren't really relevant here
1215
00:41:26,904 --> 00:41:29,571
or really in this millennium,
so stay out of our way.
1216
00:41:29,573 --> 00:41:31,473
We're gonna do this shit
on our own.
1217
00:41:31,475 --> 00:41:33,041
Well, I'm loving this friction.
1218
00:41:33,043 --> 00:41:35,644
You know why? Because that's
how you get a fire started.
1219
00:41:35,646 --> 00:41:37,346
I'm Nick;
this is my pal, Billy,
1220
00:41:37,348 --> 00:41:38,581
and despite
what you may think,
1221
00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:40,283
uh, we're here
like the rest of you,
1222
00:41:40,285 --> 00:41:41,651
just running down a dream.
1223
00:41:41,653 --> 00:41:43,786
All right.
1224
00:41:43,788 --> 00:41:45,488
Team Lyle!
1225
00:41:45,490 --> 00:41:46,889
No, okay, we'll workshop that.
1226
00:41:46,891 --> 00:41:47,990
It's in beta.
1227
00:41:47,992 --> 00:41:49,359
Okeydoke.
1228
00:41:49,361 --> 00:41:51,695
Our Translate lecture
is in 15 minutes.
1229
00:41:53,764 --> 00:41:55,432
Translate is about giving
everyone access
1230
00:41:55,434 --> 00:41:56,800
to every word ever written,
1231
00:41:56,802 --> 00:41:59,737
no matter what language
it was written in,
1232
00:41:59,739 --> 00:42:02,806
because when the entire
world can see, read
1233
00:42:02,808 --> 00:42:06,244
and find the rest of
the world's cool stuff,
1234
00:42:06,246 --> 00:42:07,479
good things start happening.
Lyle,
1235
00:42:07,481 --> 00:42:09,280
you laying-in-the-weeds
son of a bitch.
1236
00:42:09,282 --> 00:42:10,982
You're hot for
teacher, my man.
1237
00:42:12,451 --> 00:42:14,819
I took her dance class
here once,
1238
00:42:14,821 --> 00:42:17,356
but she doesn't even know
I exist.
1239
00:42:17,358 --> 00:42:18,390
What are you
talking about?
1240
00:42:18,392 --> 00:42:19,959
"Doesn't know you exist"?
1241
00:42:19,961 --> 00:42:22,161
Come on, you're communicating
with her right here.
1242
00:42:22,163 --> 00:42:23,395
What's this thing?
1243
00:42:23,397 --> 00:42:25,564
Oh, no, this is just
the company intranet.
1244
00:42:25,566 --> 00:42:28,502
It's got info
on every Google employee
1245
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:31,937
like birthdays, trivia,
meeting calendars, everything.
1246
00:42:31,939 --> 00:42:33,907
Really?
1247
00:42:33,909 --> 00:42:35,475
Hmm.
1248
00:42:47,322 --> 00:42:49,790
Oh, hey, fancy seeing you here.
1249
00:42:49,792 --> 00:42:51,025
Is it?
1250
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,294
Or maybe you calendar-stalked me
and you knew exactly
1251
00:42:53,296 --> 00:42:54,695
where I was gonna be right now.
1252
00:42:54,697 --> 00:42:56,832
Now, am I detecting
a bit of an accent?
1253
00:42:56,834 --> 00:42:57,733
You are.
1254
00:42:57,735 --> 00:42:59,734
Uh-huh,
I have a very good ear.
1255
00:42:59,736 --> 00:43:01,770
English, right? 'Ello, guvna.
1256
00:43:01,772 --> 00:43:04,239
Oliver Twist,
"more bread, please, sir. "
1257
00:43:04,241 --> 00:43:05,807
Australian, actually.
1258
00:43:05,809 --> 00:43:08,010
Really?
Similar flags, though.
1259
00:43:08,012 --> 00:43:09,478
Hey, Dana.
- Kiwi.
1260
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:10,812
Lord of the Rings country.
1261
00:43:10,814 --> 00:43:12,282
Okay, the stain
on this one's better,
1262
00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:13,816
but the white one
may be a goner.
1263
00:43:13,818 --> 00:43:14,984
Okay, thanks.
1264
00:43:14,986 --> 00:43:16,219
I eat very fast.
1265
00:43:16,221 --> 00:43:17,253
Bangers and mash.
1266
00:43:17,255 --> 00:43:18,254
That's also British.
1267
00:43:18,256 --> 00:43:19,622
Vegemite sandwich, then,
1268
00:43:19,624 --> 00:43:21,357
which I'm sure you
gobble down very quickly
1269
00:43:21,359 --> 00:43:23,026
so you can get
back to the grind.
1270
00:43:23,028 --> 00:43:25,496
I mean, it is impressive
staying at work till midnight
1271
00:43:25,498 --> 00:43:27,830
every day...
also on the calendar.
1272
00:43:27,832 --> 00:43:28,899
Look, Nick,
1273
00:43:28,901 --> 00:43:31,902
I'm sure you're very popular
1274
00:43:31,904 --> 00:43:33,938
with the 19-year-olds
at the University of Phoenix,
1275
00:43:33,940 --> 00:43:37,575
with your Southern drawl,
and the blond hair,
1276
00:43:37,577 --> 00:43:39,543
and this whole thing
you got going on,
1277
00:43:39,545 --> 00:43:42,147
but I got to tell you,
this is just never gonna happen.
1278
00:43:42,149 --> 00:43:44,516
"This"? What?
1279
00:43:44,518 --> 00:43:45,518
I mean, it's...
1280
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:46,751
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
1281
00:43:46,753 --> 00:43:48,420
This is me reaching out
as an intern.
1282
00:43:48,422 --> 00:43:49,521
They've encouraged us
1283
00:43:49,523 --> 00:43:50,789
to approach experienced Googlers
1284
00:43:50,791 --> 00:43:52,124
and just pick their brains.
1285
00:43:52,126 --> 00:43:54,260
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
1286
00:43:54,262 --> 00:43:55,361
Of course.
1287
00:43:55,363 --> 00:43:56,796
You thought I was just...
1288
00:43:56,798 --> 00:43:58,798
"Oh, who's this wanker
just steaming in?"
1289
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,467
You just want to learn.
You want to learn.
1290
00:44:01,469 --> 00:44:02,903
Well, look, Sid here,
he's incredible.
1291
00:44:02,905 --> 00:44:05,438
He's about to give a talk
on HTML5.
1292
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:06,439
Okay.
- Nick is desperate to learn.
1293
00:44:06,441 --> 00:44:07,573
He'd love to come along.
1294
00:44:07,575 --> 00:44:08,575
Yeah.
- Let's make it happen.
1295
00:44:08,577 --> 00:44:09,776
Yeah, sure.
1296
00:44:09,778 --> 00:44:11,044
Okay, well...
- Come on down, brother.
1297
00:44:11,046 --> 00:44:12,980
Sometimes we go
all day, all night.
1298
00:44:12,982 --> 00:44:14,349
Well, I can't start any sooner
than right now.
1299
00:44:14,351 --> 00:44:16,049
Let's do it.
1300
00:44:16,051 --> 00:44:17,684
Cool, let's rock.
- Come on, everybody; here we go.
1301
00:44:17,686 --> 00:44:18,752
Now, wait, where are you going?
1302
00:44:18,754 --> 00:44:20,421
Oh, I have a meeting.
1303
00:44:20,423 --> 00:44:22,123
But you know that.
1304
00:44:22,514 --> 00:44:23,399
Cheerio.
1305
00:44:23,792 --> 00:44:24,764
Cheerio.
1306
00:44:24,799 --> 00:44:25,793
Let's go.
1307
00:44:25,795 --> 00:44:28,263
Come on, don't be shy.
1308
00:44:31,434 --> 00:44:34,269
You have a crush on her,
my friend.
1309
00:44:34,271 --> 00:44:35,804
Good morning, interns.
1310
00:44:35,806 --> 00:44:38,073
Today marks the first
of several challenges
1311
00:44:38,075 --> 00:44:40,542
through which your team
will show their merits.
1312
00:44:40,544 --> 00:44:42,345
While internally dogfooding
a new product,
1313
00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:43,545
a number of Googlers reported
1314
00:44:43,547 --> 00:44:45,414
a bug that disabled their audio.
1315
00:44:45,416 --> 00:44:47,450
All two million lines
1316
00:44:47,452 --> 00:44:50,253
of that code
are in the source files.
1317
00:44:50,255 --> 00:44:52,456
Your job: find the bug.
1318
00:44:52,458 --> 00:44:53,923
Okay, we should check
the user reports.
1319
00:44:53,925 --> 00:44:55,392
Scan the logs for any red flags.
1320
00:44:55,394 --> 00:44:56,726
See what exceptions
were thrown.
1321
00:44:56,728 --> 00:44:58,162
I always start
by drawing up strategies
1322
00:44:58,164 --> 00:44:59,463
to sift through the code.
1323
00:44:59,465 --> 00:45:01,132
Code, right? Code, right? Codes.
- Right?
1324
00:45:01,134 --> 00:45:02,799
Uh... - So at the end of the
day, we're looking
1325
00:45:02,801 --> 00:45:04,468
to kind of break the
password here, right?
1326
00:45:04,470 --> 00:45:05,936
Maybe the answer's
in the question.
1327
00:45:05,938 --> 00:45:07,571
Maybe it's something with bug.
- Eureka.
1328
00:45:07,573 --> 00:45:08,572
Bug like fly.
The Fly.
1329
00:45:08,574 --> 00:45:09,574
Is Chetty a cinephile?
1330
00:45:09,576 --> 00:45:11,909
Goldblum.
- Goldblum!
1331
00:45:11,911 --> 00:45:13,544
Boggles my mind
that no one has a notebook out.
1332
00:45:13,546 --> 00:45:15,314
You guys are focused
on writing this gibberish.
1333
00:45:15,316 --> 00:45:16,782
Maybe that's helpful,
maybe it's not,
1334
00:45:16,784 --> 00:45:18,750
but I guarantee you
what we're saying is helpful.
1335
00:45:18,752 --> 00:45:22,054
Guys, we're looking for a bug, not
a password. They're different things.
1336
00:45:22,056 --> 00:45:23,622
Keep going
with that human connection.
1337
00:45:23,624 --> 00:45:25,090
Oh, geez, you know what?
- You had it.
1338
00:45:27,762 --> 00:45:29,495
We'll go on fly,
'cause that's where we're at,
1339
00:45:29,497 --> 00:45:31,129
and we're flying it; we're right there.
- Fly, fly.
1340
00:45:31,131 --> 00:45:32,332
I know we're buzzing around it.
- I like that.
1341
00:45:32,334 --> 00:45:33,833
Zzz, Y-L-F.
1342
00:45:33,835 --> 00:45:35,835
And it's a word scramble,
and it's life.
1343
00:45:35,837 --> 00:45:37,604
For some reason, I can't
get "fly" out of my mind,
1344
00:45:37,606 --> 00:45:39,039
and now I'm going Lopez,
Jennifer Lopez.
1345
00:45:39,041 --> 00:45:40,707
Is it a fly girl?
- "Superfly. "
1346
00:45:40,709 --> 00:45:42,943
Pop fly? Uh, excavation.
1347
00:45:42,945 --> 00:45:45,112
Earthquakes, California.
- That's it! Write that down!
1348
00:45:45,114 --> 00:45:46,613
Where? Where?
- Do it, do it, write it down, type it in.
1349
00:45:46,615 --> 00:45:48,183
What am I doing?
- Would you please stop?
1350
00:45:48,185 --> 00:45:50,818
No, we're working.
- No, we're working.
1351
00:45:50,820 --> 00:45:54,956
Yeah, and that's a Sharpie,
by the way, genius.
1352
00:45:54,958 --> 00:45:56,558
That's my fault.
1353
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,793
Go ahead and wash that.
1354
00:45:58,795 --> 00:46:01,329
Look, guys, I'm sorry,
but you're not helping.
1355
00:46:01,331 --> 00:46:02,797
You're just saying
a lot of words really fast
1356
00:46:02,799 --> 00:46:04,099
that mean nothing.
1357
00:46:04,101 --> 00:46:06,302
To find the bug, we need
to scan the user logs
1358
00:46:06,304 --> 00:46:08,371
and review the code until we
find the programmer's mistake.
1359
00:46:08,373 --> 00:46:09,671
It's the only way.
1360
00:46:09,673 --> 00:46:11,307
Except what if it's not
the only way?
1361
00:46:11,309 --> 00:46:13,275
Go. - Okay, you said
that someone programmed it.
1362
00:46:13,277 --> 00:46:14,710
That means some person
1363
00:46:14,712 --> 00:46:17,347
in this building wrote that code.
- A human being.
1364
00:46:17,349 --> 00:46:19,548
Let's just give him a name
and call him Tony.
1365
00:46:19,550 --> 00:46:21,852
Tony.
- Let's say Tony likes kayaking.
1366
00:46:21,854 --> 00:46:23,620
Kayak. - All of a sudden,
me and Nick become friends
1367
00:46:23,622 --> 00:46:25,188
with Tony; we're throwing
a few beers back.
1368
00:46:25,190 --> 00:46:28,024
We're doing a little kayaking
with my main man, Tony.
1369
00:46:28,026 --> 00:46:30,160
Tony's bombed on
the open water.
1370
00:46:30,162 --> 00:46:31,128
Next thing you know,
1371
00:46:31,130 --> 00:46:33,131
we start gabbing
about audio bugs.
1372
00:46:33,133 --> 00:46:35,133
Yeah, I actually think
it's a great idea.
1373
00:46:35,135 --> 00:46:36,467
Good, great!
- Finally!
1374
00:46:36,469 --> 00:46:37,834
Dark and stormy, feeling us.
1375
00:46:37,836 --> 00:46:39,504
Yeah, no,
feeling you big-time, buddy.
1376
00:46:39,506 --> 00:46:41,272
Terrific. - You know what, in fact,
why don't the two
1377
00:46:41,274 --> 00:46:43,474
of you guys right now
go and find the programmer.
1378
00:46:43,476 --> 00:46:44,877
Great. Great idea.
1379
00:46:44,879 --> 00:46:46,078
Yo-Yo, who's our man?
1380
00:46:46,913 --> 00:46:49,147
His name is Charles Xavier.
1381
00:46:49,149 --> 00:46:51,216
Charles Xavier.
- Perfect. Nick, write this down.
1382
00:46:51,218 --> 00:46:53,485
Steel trap.
- Uh, he's a professor.
1383
00:46:53,487 --> 00:46:54,887
At Stanford.
1384
00:46:54,889 --> 00:46:57,055
Yeah, just a few
minutes away, really.
1385
00:46:57,057 --> 00:46:58,757
Guys...
- And he's in a wheelchair.
1386
00:46:58,759 --> 00:46:59,992
Got it, Stanford, wheelchair.
1387
00:46:59,994 --> 00:47:01,594
What else?
- Uh, oh, he's bald.
1388
00:47:01,596 --> 00:47:03,797
Might be with his best friend
who wears a metal helmet.
1389
00:47:03,799 --> 00:47:05,665
Wears a fitted suit.
- He looks like a geneticist.
1390
00:47:05,667 --> 00:47:07,434
More, more, more, more.
Go on, hit us, hit us.
1391
00:47:07,436 --> 00:47:09,769
Has a British accent.
- British? With my ear, we're done.
1392
00:47:09,771 --> 00:47:11,471
Okay, keep searching;
think fly, think bug.
1393
00:47:11,473 --> 00:47:12,907
I promise you, somehow,
1394
00:47:12,909 --> 00:47:14,308
this intersects with Goldblum.
- Billy!
1395
00:47:14,310 --> 00:47:15,708
Let's get a move on.
- Goldblum, of course.
1396
00:47:15,710 --> 00:47:17,210
All right, back to work, guys.
1397
00:47:19,815 --> 00:47:22,817
Hey, Professor, what up!
1398
00:47:26,655 --> 00:47:28,389
Professor Charles Xavier?
1399
00:47:28,391 --> 00:47:29,658
Very funny.
1400
00:47:29,660 --> 00:47:31,359
British.
Listen, Professor Xavier,
1401
00:47:31,361 --> 00:47:33,728
sorry to bother you. If we could
just talk to you for...
1402
00:47:33,730 --> 00:47:34,863
Gentlemen,
I don't have time for his.
1403
00:47:34,865 --> 00:47:35,897
Okay, Professor Xavier,
1404
00:47:35,899 --> 00:47:37,199
we know that it's you,
1405
00:47:37,201 --> 00:47:38,900
and listen,
we really need your help.
1406
00:47:38,902 --> 00:47:40,570
All right, you-you found me out.
1407
00:47:40,572 --> 00:47:42,004
I am Charles Xavier,
1408
00:47:42,006 --> 00:47:44,673
and that's Cyclops,
1409
00:47:44,675 --> 00:47:46,409
and Rogue.
1410
00:47:46,411 --> 00:47:47,477
We're all here.
1411
00:47:47,479 --> 00:47:48,811
Now, come closer.
1412
00:47:48,813 --> 00:47:49,979
I want to share some
1413
00:47:49,981 --> 00:47:52,082
of my telekinetic wisdom
with you.
1414
00:47:52,084 --> 00:47:53,683
Well, I want you to share
with me,
1415
00:47:53,685 --> 00:47:54,817
'cause I want to know
about these bugs.
1416
00:47:57,690 --> 00:47:59,423
Assholes!
1417
00:47:59,425 --> 00:48:01,758
Oh, you maniacal monster!
1418
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:04,461
Professor Xavier
is a total dick!
1419
00:48:04,463 --> 00:48:06,363
Yo to the yo.
1420
00:48:06,365 --> 00:48:08,199
Where are we at on ensuring
it wasn't a networking issue?
1421
00:48:08,201 --> 00:48:09,834
Confirmed there
was no packet lost.
1422
00:48:09,836 --> 00:48:11,069
Almost done checking
on whether the encryption
1423
00:48:11,071 --> 00:48:12,270
had the wrong certificate.
1424
00:48:12,272 --> 00:48:13,705
I'm sorry, "almost"?
1425
00:48:13,707 --> 00:48:14,839
Uh, you're either done
or you're not.
1426
00:48:14,841 --> 00:48:15,907
You can't be almost pregnant.
1427
00:48:15,909 --> 00:48:17,509
Yeah, hey,
she would know, guys.
1428
00:48:17,511 --> 00:48:19,378
You know what, why don't you
Google "asshole," asshole?
1429
00:48:19,380 --> 00:48:21,280
She's right.
It's not good enough.
1430
00:48:21,282 --> 00:48:22,714
Get it together, Yo-Yo.
1431
00:48:22,716 --> 00:48:24,583
What the fuck was that?
1432
00:48:24,585 --> 00:48:27,086
I was punishing myself
for my inferior performance.
1433
00:48:27,088 --> 00:48:28,621
Well, that's good.
1434
00:48:28,623 --> 00:48:29,990
That's great.
We got crazy over here
1435
00:48:29,992 --> 00:48:32,091
and crazy horny over here.
- Oh, let me guess.
1436
00:48:32,093 --> 00:48:34,126
Big dick 'cause... little dick?
- Did your mind
1437
00:48:34,128 --> 00:48:35,729
just immediately go
to a penis joke?
1438
00:48:35,731 --> 00:48:36,897
Is that, like, all you...
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
1439
00:48:36,899 --> 00:48:37,998
Was that not witty enough
for you?
1440
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,332
Because I'm too busy working.
1441
00:48:39,334 --> 00:48:41,102
No, yeah, that's fine.
I just want you
1442
00:48:41,104 --> 00:48:42,502
to acknowledge the fact that
I'm winning the quip-off.
1443
00:48:42,504 --> 00:48:44,204
That's what you're worried
about right now?
1444
00:48:44,206 --> 00:48:45,739
Yes, that's really
what I'm worried about.
1445
00:48:45,741 --> 00:48:46,874
So you're more concerned
with snarky banter
1446
00:48:46,876 --> 00:48:48,142
than actually winning?
- Yeah.
1447
00:48:51,078 --> 00:48:54,115
The deadline's at
the end of the week, so...
1448
00:48:54,117 --> 00:48:55,783
Hey, hey.
1449
00:48:55,785 --> 00:48:57,618
You guys find Professor Xavier?
1450
00:48:57,620 --> 00:48:58,754
Yeah, we found him.
1451
00:48:58,756 --> 00:48:59,955
Yeah, thanks
so much for that.
1452
00:48:59,957 --> 00:49:01,122
That's, uh...
1453
00:49:01,124 --> 00:49:02,757
really great
team spirit.
1454
00:49:02,759 --> 00:49:04,259
Mind sliding over here?
1455
00:49:05,295 --> 00:49:07,029
I'm sorry.
1456
00:49:07,031 --> 00:49:09,432
It really doesn't look like
there's enough room for you.
1457
00:49:11,768 --> 00:49:13,235
Have a great lunch.
1458
00:49:13,237 --> 00:49:14,336
Yeah, enjoy it.
1459
00:49:15,839 --> 00:49:17,473
Okay, let's see here.
1460
00:49:19,375 --> 00:49:21,411
Let's see.
1461
00:49:21,413 --> 00:49:23,446
See anything?
- Oh, there's an opening.
1462
00:49:23,448 --> 00:49:26,383
Is that taken? Okay.
It's taken.
1463
00:49:29,453 --> 00:49:32,122
Let's go over here.
1464
00:49:33,959 --> 00:49:35,926
Hi, Headphones.
You mind if we sit here?
1465
00:49:35,928 --> 00:49:38,462
I think we can take that
1466
00:49:38,464 --> 00:49:39,930
as a "yes. "
- All right.
1467
00:49:39,932 --> 00:49:42,399
We're gonna have to
at this point.
1468
00:49:42,401 --> 00:49:44,269
How you doing, bud?
1469
00:49:44,271 --> 00:49:46,171
He doesn't even
know we exist.
1470
00:49:46,173 --> 00:49:48,340
He's like some kind
of a superhero on this computer.
1471
00:49:48,342 --> 00:49:50,375
Look at him;
he's just crushing his thing
1472
00:49:50,377 --> 00:49:51,710
and kicking ass.
1473
00:49:51,712 --> 00:49:53,078
Do you remember
what it felt like
1474
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,281
to be that good at something?
1475
00:49:55,283 --> 00:49:57,482
Look at this!
1476
00:49:57,484 --> 00:49:58,617
William.
1477
00:49:58,619 --> 00:49:59,952
Nicholas.
1478
00:49:59,954 --> 00:50:02,355
Person I don't know.
1479
00:50:02,357 --> 00:50:04,223
Figured I'd find you
at the cool kids' table.
1480
00:50:04,225 --> 00:50:07,560
It's like a confederacy
of outcasts out here.
1481
00:50:07,562 --> 00:50:09,362
Heard you had
a day trip to, uh,
1482
00:50:09,364 --> 00:50:10,764
Palo Alto?
1483
00:50:10,766 --> 00:50:14,401
Home of Silicon Valley and
also the X-Men, apparently.
1484
00:50:14,403 --> 00:50:16,104
Where are you going
with this, Graham?
1485
00:50:16,106 --> 00:50:18,572
Oh, I just wanted
to let you guys know,
1486
00:50:18,574 --> 00:50:19,973
we won the bug challenge.
1487
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,709
What are you gonna do
about it, boys?
1488
00:50:21,711 --> 00:50:23,611
I wouldn't worry if I was you
about what we're gonna do
1489
00:50:23,613 --> 00:50:25,446
or what we're not gonna do;
we're gonna be just fine.
1490
00:50:25,448 --> 00:50:27,115
You're gonna be fine?
All right.
1491
00:50:27,117 --> 00:50:28,416
Keep telling yourself that.
1492
00:50:28,418 --> 00:50:30,618
See you all-stars
at the intramural fields
1493
00:50:30,620 --> 00:50:31,953
for the next challenge
I'll win.
1494
00:50:31,955 --> 00:50:34,223
Sports. Something
we know about, baby.
1495
00:50:34,225 --> 00:50:35,790
Something we know
a lot about, baby.
1496
00:50:35,792 --> 00:50:37,558
Come on, now.
- Look at me.
1497
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:38,794
For real.
1498
00:51:00,686 --> 00:51:03,754
All right, teams,
welcome to the Quidditch pitch.
1499
00:51:03,756 --> 00:51:06,424
Let's have a good,
clean match, Nooglers.
1500
00:51:13,032 --> 00:51:14,665
Fatty, don't touch the ball.
1501
00:51:14,667 --> 00:51:16,667
Okay, rules. The Beaters toss
the Bludgers at the Chasers
1502
00:51:16,669 --> 00:51:18,637
before they can get the Quaffle
through the three rings.
1503
00:51:18,639 --> 00:51:20,439
No blagging, no blatching,
no bumphing, no haversacking.
1504
00:51:20,441 --> 00:51:22,307
I don't want to see
any Quaffle-pocking.
1505
00:51:22,309 --> 00:51:24,543
No Imperius curses,
no Confundus charms.
1506
00:51:24,545 --> 00:51:26,645
In the unlikely event
of a Dementor attack,
1507
00:51:26,647 --> 00:51:28,246
use a Patronus charm.
1508
00:51:28,248 --> 00:51:30,483
I recommend the stag,
but that's a personal decision.
1509
00:51:30,485 --> 00:51:32,185
Lyle, Lyle, Lyle,
these beautiful idiots
1510
00:51:32,187 --> 00:51:33,218
have no idea
what you're talking about.
1511
00:51:33,220 --> 00:51:34,554
Use your Muggle words.
Come on.
1512
00:51:34,556 --> 00:51:36,022
Come on, Lyle,
you're making me feel
1513
00:51:36,024 --> 00:51:37,657
like I'm back in
math class, okay?
1514
00:51:37,659 --> 00:51:40,728
You got a couple savants here
with eye-hand coordination.
1515
00:51:40,730 --> 00:51:43,062
Just say "game on"
and let us play.
1516
00:51:43,064 --> 00:51:44,664
Fair enough; version 2.0.
1517
00:51:44,666 --> 00:51:45,766
Peg them with the kick balls
1518
00:51:45,768 --> 00:51:47,067
before they throw the volleyball
1519
00:51:47,069 --> 00:51:48,202
through the hoop.
1520
00:51:48,204 --> 00:51:49,536
Brooms in, people.
1521
00:51:49,538 --> 00:51:50,704
Hufflepuff on three.
1522
00:51:50,706 --> 00:51:52,673
One, two, three...
1523
00:51:52,675 --> 00:51:53,674
Hufflepuff!
1524
00:51:53,676 --> 00:51:54,742
Yeah, son!
1525
00:51:54,744 --> 00:51:55,943
Yeah, let's get it.
1526
00:51:55,945 --> 00:51:57,712
All right, game time.
1527
00:51:57,714 --> 00:51:59,647
Let's get Huff-tarded in here.
1528
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,557
No mercy! No mercy!
1529
00:52:08,559 --> 00:52:10,825
Tips down!
1530
00:52:10,827 --> 00:52:12,327
Blue team, ready?
1531
00:52:12,329 --> 00:52:13,963
Ready!
1532
00:52:13,965 --> 00:52:15,865
Red team, ready?
1533
00:52:15,867 --> 00:52:16,966
Bangarang!
1534
00:52:16,968 --> 00:52:18,769
Brooms up!
1535
00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:32,382
Ball!
1536
00:52:32,384 --> 00:52:35,385
All right, slam it!
1537
00:52:35,387 --> 00:52:36,754
Nice.
- Yeah!
1538
00:52:36,756 --> 00:52:38,022
Yeah!
1539
00:52:38,024 --> 00:52:40,390
Ten points blue.
1540
00:52:40,392 --> 00:52:41,526
Billy, Billy, talk to me!
1541
00:52:41,528 --> 00:52:42,894
What do I do?
- What are we doing?
1542
00:52:42,896 --> 00:52:44,228
How do I do it?
- It's chaos!
1543
00:52:44,230 --> 00:52:46,531
Come on, you got it.
1544
00:52:48,034 --> 00:52:49,300
Billy, I'm lost.
1545
00:52:49,302 --> 00:52:51,035
Just hit them, hit them!
1546
00:52:51,037 --> 00:52:53,539
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's happening?
1547
00:52:53,541 --> 00:52:55,574
Lyle!
1548
00:52:55,576 --> 00:52:57,409
What the hell was that?
1549
00:52:57,411 --> 00:52:59,411
Why don't you try looking up
and giving a shit, man?
1550
00:52:59,413 --> 00:53:01,480
Come on!
1551
00:53:01,482 --> 00:53:02,981
I can't take this! What am I
supposed... Come get me.
1552
00:53:02,983 --> 00:53:04,050
Who do I hit?
1553
00:53:04,052 --> 00:53:05,318
No, no!
- Come get hit.
1554
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:06,386
Who wants to fight?
1555
00:53:06,388 --> 00:53:07,620
I want somebody
to hit!
1556
00:53:07,622 --> 00:53:08,955
Get the broom
between the legs, folks.
1557
00:53:08,957 --> 00:53:10,290
My bad. Let's go, let's go.
1558
00:53:10,292 --> 00:53:11,791
Lesson learned, lesson learned,
lesson learned.
1559
00:53:11,793 --> 00:53:14,194
What the fuck does this have
to do with computers?
1560
00:53:14,196 --> 00:53:15,663
I'm winning.
- Stop.
1561
00:53:15,665 --> 00:53:17,031
Don't move, fatty.
1562
00:53:24,707 --> 00:53:25,907
Blue, ten points.
1563
00:53:25,909 --> 00:53:27,341
Ball!
1564
00:53:28,009 --> 00:53:29,510
Thank you.
1565
00:53:30,546 --> 00:53:32,747
What?! What?!
1566
00:53:32,749 --> 00:53:33,748
Time-out.
1567
00:53:33,750 --> 00:53:35,050
Time!
1568
00:53:37,720 --> 00:53:39,621
Bring it in, guys.
Come on, let's huddle up.
1569
00:53:39,623 --> 00:53:40,755
Good work, everybody.
1570
00:53:40,757 --> 00:53:42,057
Everybody except for you, Zach.
1571
00:53:42,059 --> 00:53:44,026
It's over.
- Yeah, our team's a joke.
1572
00:53:44,028 --> 00:53:45,228
Well, I ain't laughing.
1573
00:53:45,230 --> 00:53:46,428
What about you, Billy?
1574
00:53:46,430 --> 00:53:47,529
Hell, no.
1575
00:53:47,531 --> 00:53:49,632
Listen, we need to
get our minds right
1576
00:53:49,634 --> 00:53:51,000
and start believing.
1577
00:53:51,002 --> 00:53:52,068
This reminds me of a little girl
1578
00:53:52,070 --> 00:53:53,102
who had to get
her head right
1579
00:53:53,104 --> 00:53:54,137
and start believing,
1580
00:53:54,139 --> 00:53:55,405
a little girl from a steel town
1581
00:53:55,407 --> 00:53:56,739
who had the
dream to dance.
1582
00:53:56,741 --> 00:53:58,507
No one believed
in that little welder girl,
1583
00:53:58,509 --> 00:54:00,143
but thank God she believed
in herself.
1584
00:54:00,145 --> 00:54:01,144
Are you talking
about Flashdance?
1585
00:54:01,146 --> 00:54:02,212
The movie from the '80s?
1586
00:54:02,214 --> 00:54:03,513
Yeah, you're
damn right I am.
1587
00:54:03,515 --> 00:54:04,514
That's exactly what
I'm talking about.
1588
00:54:04,516 --> 00:54:06,216
Got it.
- The deck was stacked
1589
00:54:06,218 --> 00:54:08,352
against Alex, and you know
how she overcame those odds?
1590
00:54:08,354 --> 00:54:09,920
By believing in
herself and trying.
1591
00:54:09,922 --> 00:54:12,657
She literally had
to become a maniac.
1592
00:54:12,659 --> 00:54:14,691
Have any of you ever
been called a maniac?
1593
00:54:14,693 --> 00:54:15,726
Maybe because you were
1594
00:54:15,728 --> 00:54:16,728
a little bit different?
1595
00:54:16,730 --> 00:54:18,096
My mom calls me a maniac
1596
00:54:18,098 --> 00:54:19,297
every night when I tell her
I love her.
1597
00:54:19,299 --> 00:54:20,565
Of course she does, Yo-Yo.
1598
00:54:20,567 --> 00:54:22,902
You are a little bit,
in a good way.
1599
00:54:22,904 --> 00:54:23,936
Well, guess what.
1600
00:54:23,938 --> 00:54:25,370
That old Bill Gates,
1601
00:54:25,372 --> 00:54:27,373
they called him a maniac, too.
- No question.
1602
00:54:27,375 --> 00:54:29,775
Yeah, I don't think anyone
ever called him a maniac.
1603
00:54:29,777 --> 00:54:31,610
I just called him a maniac.
- Okay, damn it, guys.
1604
00:54:31,612 --> 00:54:33,113
You guys are getting off the point here.
- You're right.
1605
00:54:33,115 --> 00:54:34,413
She had to strip
down to nothing.
1606
00:54:34,415 --> 00:54:36,282
She had to sit in that chair
and arch her back,
1607
00:54:36,284 --> 00:54:37,416
and she pulled
a chain to nowhere,
1608
00:54:37,418 --> 00:54:38,585
and doused herself with water.
1609
00:54:38,587 --> 00:54:40,120
Yeah, where did that
water come from?
1610
00:54:40,122 --> 00:54:41,821
Who knows?
- It came from her belief
1611
00:54:41,823 --> 00:54:43,255
that it was there.
1612
00:54:43,257 --> 00:54:45,358
She believed so hard she
found herself with an audition
1613
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:47,260
in front of those stuffed shirts
at the dance school,
1614
00:54:47,262 --> 00:54:50,731
and she spun...
oh, and she spun and she spun
1615
00:54:50,733 --> 00:54:52,433
and she spun
and she spun
1616
00:54:52,435 --> 00:54:54,501
and she spun herself into
that dance school.
1617
00:54:54,503 --> 00:54:56,771
And she spun herself
into our hearts.
1618
00:54:56,773 --> 00:54:58,172
Now,
1619
00:54:58,174 --> 00:54:59,507
in the second half
1620
00:54:59,509 --> 00:55:01,543
of whatever the hell
you guys call this game,
1621
00:55:01,545 --> 00:55:03,978
can't we all be
that little welder girl
1622
00:55:03,980 --> 00:55:05,546
who wants to be
something more?
1623
00:55:05,548 --> 00:55:07,082
Now, look, I know you
guys aren't excited
1624
00:55:07,084 --> 00:55:09,384
that we're on your team,
but we're here.
1625
00:55:09,386 --> 00:55:11,586
Guys, we're in
this thing together.
1626
00:55:11,588 --> 00:55:13,722
So I'm asking you,
believe in yourselves,
1627
00:55:13,724 --> 00:55:14,856
believe in each other.
1628
00:55:15,959 --> 00:55:17,927
Let's put on our
leg warmers,
1629
00:55:17,929 --> 00:55:19,996
and let's dance our asses off.
1630
00:55:19,998 --> 00:55:22,397
Come here, you little
lovable maniacs. Get in here.
1631
00:55:22,399 --> 00:55:24,667
All right, now, I got an idea
that I think would make
1632
00:55:24,669 --> 00:55:26,169
Bear Bryant smile.
No idea
1633
00:55:26,171 --> 00:55:27,603
who that is,
but we're listening.
1634
00:55:31,543 --> 00:55:33,743
Let's go!
1635
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:37,214
Stuart!
1636
00:55:37,216 --> 00:55:38,816
Neha!
1637
00:55:40,286 --> 00:55:41,485
Lyle, hit me!
1638
00:55:41,487 --> 00:55:43,787
Got it, got it, got it, got it!
1639
00:55:43,789 --> 00:55:44,822
Yeah!
1640
00:55:45,859 --> 00:55:48,093
Baby!
1641
00:55:53,767 --> 00:55:56,769
Blind her! I'm going in!
1642
00:55:58,005 --> 00:55:59,138
Yeah!
1643
00:55:59,140 --> 00:56:01,373
Yes!
1644
00:56:08,617 --> 00:56:09,849
Yo-Yo!
1645
00:56:11,351 --> 00:56:14,221
- Yeah!
- Eat it, Malfoy! Suck it!
1646
00:56:18,260 --> 00:56:20,193
See ya!
1647
00:56:20,195 --> 00:56:21,762
Coming at you, Nick!
1648
00:56:23,232 --> 00:56:24,432
Yeah!
1649
00:56:24,434 --> 00:56:26,100
Who's on Blondie?
1650
00:56:26,102 --> 00:56:29,269
All right, let's go, boys.
1651
00:56:30,273 --> 00:56:33,074
Okay.
1652
00:56:33,076 --> 00:56:34,475
Pick and roll.
1653
00:56:34,477 --> 00:56:35,511
Stockton to Malone!
1654
00:56:35,513 --> 00:56:37,545
She shoots, she scores, baby!
1655
00:56:37,547 --> 00:56:39,580
Baby, what's up?!
- Yeah!
1656
00:56:40,816 --> 00:56:41,917
Tie game!
1657
00:56:41,919 --> 00:56:43,118
Where were you? Huh?
1658
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,620
I had to use the
restroom. I'm sorry.
1659
00:56:49,460 --> 00:56:51,093
It's the Golden Snitch!
1660
00:56:51,095 --> 00:56:53,229
Who the fuck is this now?
1661
00:56:53,231 --> 00:56:54,798
Zach, get over here.
1662
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,533
All right, Fatface, I think
it's time to fake an injury.
1663
00:56:57,535 --> 00:56:59,436
I don't know how
to fake an injury.
1664
00:57:00,939 --> 00:57:02,972
Man down.
1665
00:57:04,343 --> 00:57:05,876
Get the tennis ball and we win!
1666
00:57:14,420 --> 00:57:16,153
Run, you big tree!
1667
00:57:16,155 --> 00:57:17,888
- Aah!
- Go!
1668
00:57:17,890 --> 00:57:21,126
Come on, ref,
you gonna call that?!
1669
00:57:34,109 --> 00:57:35,540
Yeah! Yeah!
1670
00:57:45,286 --> 00:57:47,220
You can't be serious.
That bitch just snaked me.
1671
00:57:47,222 --> 00:57:48,622
That's got to be illegal.
1672
00:57:48,624 --> 00:57:50,724
Sorry, if I didn't see it,
I can't call it.
1673
00:57:50,726 --> 00:57:52,993
You okay there, Golden Boy?
1674
00:57:52,995 --> 00:57:54,061
Yeah, the Snitch is fine.
1675
00:57:54,063 --> 00:57:55,529
G.D. it!
1676
00:57:55,531 --> 00:57:56,997
Don't start that, Yo-Yo.
1677
00:57:56,999 --> 00:57:58,232
You did your best
1678
00:57:58,234 --> 00:58:00,468
out there today.
That's the first time
1679
00:58:00,470 --> 00:58:02,403
we all came together as a team.
1680
00:58:02,405 --> 00:58:04,338
Goddamn it, Billy's right.
1681
00:58:04,340 --> 00:58:06,074
Let's keep it rolling.
1682
00:58:06,076 --> 00:58:07,642
Just keep it rolling.
1683
00:58:07,644 --> 00:58:09,611
Come on, let's
get a frosty.
1684
00:58:09,613 --> 00:58:12,548
Nick?
- Yeah?
1685
00:58:12,550 --> 00:58:14,883
Would I be wrong
to call you my brother?
1686
00:58:14,885 --> 00:58:16,619
Of course not.
I'd do anything
1687
00:58:16,621 --> 00:58:18,053
for my little show pony.
1688
00:58:18,055 --> 00:58:19,622
Look at me. Anything.
1689
00:58:19,624 --> 00:58:21,858
I'm gonna need you
to ice my balls for me.
1690
00:58:24,995 --> 00:58:27,531
Brother!
1691
00:58:32,570 --> 00:58:35,172
Oh, boy.
1692
00:58:35,174 --> 00:58:38,109
Time to shut the engines down
for a little bit and...
1693
00:58:38,111 --> 00:58:40,111
take a load off, Nicky.
1694
00:58:40,113 --> 00:58:41,811
Oh, boy. What would I do
1695
00:58:41,813 --> 00:58:45,349
without these babies?
- This is a "shh" zone.
1696
00:58:45,351 --> 00:58:47,185
Hi. Hey.
1697
00:58:47,187 --> 00:58:48,686
Sorry.
1698
00:58:48,688 --> 00:58:50,189
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
1699
00:58:50,191 --> 00:58:53,424
By the way, thank you
for sending me to that seminar.
1700
00:58:53,426 --> 00:58:55,327
It was actually
pretty interesting.
1701
00:58:55,329 --> 00:58:56,395
Really?
1702
00:58:56,397 --> 00:58:57,663
Absolutely.
1703
00:58:57,665 --> 00:58:59,264
What have you been up to?
1704
00:58:59,266 --> 00:59:00,933
I'm gonna go.
1705
00:59:00,935 --> 00:59:02,434
No, no, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
1706
00:59:02,436 --> 00:59:04,269
You were here first;
I'll leave.
1707
00:59:04,271 --> 00:59:05,571
Sorry.
1708
00:59:05,573 --> 00:59:07,373
Uh, one thing before I go;
quick question.
1709
00:59:07,375 --> 00:59:08,875
If I was to invite someone out
1710
00:59:08,877 --> 00:59:11,243
to a really nice dinner
around here, where would I go?
1711
00:59:11,245 --> 00:59:13,246
Um...
1712
00:59:13,248 --> 00:59:14,881
I wouldn't know, actually.
1713
00:59:14,883 --> 00:59:17,518
I spend most of my time
on campus.
1714
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:19,819
What?! That's criminal!
1715
00:59:19,821 --> 00:59:21,854
Has it occurred to you that
I work hard for a reason?
1716
00:59:21,856 --> 00:59:23,557
Hmm? This may
sound silly
1717
00:59:23,559 --> 00:59:26,060
to you, but I actually
believe that what we do here
1718
00:59:26,062 --> 00:59:27,962
helps make people's lives
a little bit better.
1719
00:59:27,964 --> 00:59:29,830
No, no, no. I-I'm not
saying that sounds silly.
1720
00:59:29,832 --> 00:59:31,232
I think it's
admirable. I agree.
1721
00:59:31,234 --> 00:59:32,433
I'm just saying
that sometimes
1722
00:59:32,435 --> 00:59:34,502
with all the work,
that you can...
1723
00:59:34,504 --> 00:59:37,239
forget about the person
that matters the most.
1724
00:59:37,241 --> 00:59:39,741
Is this a nap pod
or a convo pod?
1725
00:59:39,743 --> 00:59:42,043
Oh, that's right...
it's a nap pod.
1726
00:59:42,045 --> 00:59:44,079
Shh!
- Yikes.
1727
00:59:44,081 --> 00:59:45,748
I know where you're
going with this.
1728
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:46,882
Where?
- You think I'm some
1729
00:59:46,884 --> 00:59:48,316
30-year-old exec who's devoted
1730
00:59:48,318 --> 00:59:49,851
her entire life to her career.
1731
00:59:49,853 --> 00:59:52,622
Right? And one day
I'm gonna wake up wanting more.
1732
00:59:52,624 --> 00:59:54,724
Stop me if I'm off base here.
1733
00:59:54,726 --> 00:59:56,058
No?
- Well, no...
1734
00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:57,593
What else does your
intuition tell you?
1735
00:59:57,595 --> 00:59:59,061
That, um, I can't go
on Facebook anymore
1736
00:59:59,063 --> 01:00:00,796
because it's nothing but
happy couples gloating
1737
01:00:00,798 --> 01:00:02,733
about their perfect little
babies in those tiny socks
1738
01:00:02,735 --> 01:00:04,234
that look like
goddamn sneakers?
1739
01:00:04,236 --> 01:00:06,637
Oh, yeah, yeah,
the little Chuck Taylors.
1740
01:00:06,639 --> 01:00:07,838
Only I'm ten years
too late, right?
1741
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:09,139
Because while I've been working
1742
01:00:09,141 --> 01:00:11,008
so hard, I missed out
on all the bad dates
1743
01:00:11,010 --> 01:00:13,611
and the assholes,
and now I'm running out of time.
1744
01:00:13,613 --> 01:00:16,047
No one told me
it was a game of musical chairs.
1745
01:00:16,049 --> 01:00:17,781
And by the time
I figured it out,
1746
01:00:17,783 --> 01:00:20,118
you know, you can forget it,
it's too late.
1747
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:21,653
Yeah.
1748
01:00:22,521 --> 01:00:24,890
Anyway...
1749
01:00:24,892 --> 01:00:28,793
anyway... is that kind of
what you were gonna say to me?
1750
01:00:28,795 --> 01:00:31,196
Well, no, I was gonna suggest
that you work harder,
1751
01:00:31,198 --> 01:00:32,498
that you roll up
your sleeves,
1752
01:00:32,500 --> 01:00:34,166
that you buckle down
and you get to work.
1753
01:00:34,168 --> 01:00:36,635
You can't change the world
when you're laying in a nap pod.
1754
01:00:36,637 --> 01:00:38,604
No, but honestly,
1755
01:00:38,606 --> 01:00:40,372
if any of what
you were just saying
1756
01:00:40,374 --> 01:00:42,676
applies even slightly
to yourself, you might want
1757
01:00:42,678 --> 01:00:44,110
to think about doing
something about it.
1758
01:00:44,112 --> 01:00:45,611
And that's not me
1759
01:00:45,613 --> 01:00:47,347
preaching at you;
that's coming from someone who,
1760
01:00:47,349 --> 01:00:50,050
when they wake up, the first
thing on their calendar
1761
01:00:50,052 --> 01:00:51,551
is regret.
1762
01:00:51,553 --> 01:00:53,821
Now, that's not
a good feeling.
1763
01:00:56,558 --> 01:00:58,159
Anyway, I should go.
1764
01:00:58,161 --> 01:00:59,694
Thank you!
1765
01:00:59,696 --> 01:01:02,530
But before I go...
- Ah, geez!
1766
01:01:02,532 --> 01:01:04,665
Just bear with me.
I want to throw down
1767
01:01:04,667 --> 01:01:06,067
a challenge for you
1768
01:01:06,069 --> 01:01:08,235
to go out to dinner
before I leave town.
1769
01:01:08,237 --> 01:01:11,106
I'll let you know if a window
opens up. - Great.
1770
01:01:11,108 --> 01:01:12,674
And if it does,
don't minimize it.
1771
01:01:12,676 --> 01:01:14,543
Don't click
that little red "X"
1772
01:01:14,545 --> 01:01:15,544
in the corner.
1773
01:01:15,546 --> 01:01:16,945
See? I'm getting it.
1774
01:01:16,947 --> 01:01:18,347
I get it.
1775
01:01:18,349 --> 01:01:20,316
Okay.
1776
01:01:20,318 --> 01:01:22,452
Shh. Go back to sleep.
1777
01:01:28,425 --> 01:01:30,026
Hey, Chetty.
1778
01:01:30,028 --> 01:01:32,995
Pretty good effort on the, uh,
Quidditch field yesterday,
1779
01:01:32,997 --> 01:01:34,197
huh?
1780
01:01:34,199 --> 01:01:37,835
It was a game throwing balls,
and you lost.
1781
01:01:37,837 --> 01:01:39,903
Yeah, but we really rallied
the second half, I think.
1782
01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:41,772
Uh, kind of a spiritual
victory for us.
1783
01:01:41,774 --> 01:01:44,241
Well, perhaps you'll land
a spiritual job.
1784
01:01:44,243 --> 01:01:46,977
You know, Mr. McMahon,
the admissions committee
1785
01:01:46,979 --> 01:01:49,381
was split on you;
you made it by one vote.
1786
01:01:49,383 --> 01:01:51,749
That deciding member
thought you showed promise.
1787
01:01:51,751 --> 01:01:53,651
It's clear now
1788
01:01:53,653 --> 01:01:55,754
that... he was wrong.
1789
01:01:55,756 --> 01:01:59,158
Sometimes the long shots
pay off the biggest.
1790
01:02:00,193 --> 01:02:01,693
Enjoy your pudding.
1791
01:02:01,695 --> 01:02:04,396
I will.
1792
01:02:04,398 --> 01:02:06,031
Oh, and, Chetty?
1793
01:02:06,033 --> 01:02:07,466
Not for nothing,
1794
01:02:07,468 --> 01:02:09,735
can't get me not to like you.
1795
01:02:17,278 --> 01:02:19,346
All right, guys,
let's take this new team spirit,
1796
01:02:19,348 --> 01:02:21,948
and let's apply it to this next
app challenge. We got this.
1797
01:02:21,950 --> 01:02:24,017
Yo, it'd help if we had
an idea for an app.
1798
01:02:24,019 --> 01:02:27,221
- You bet your sweet ass
it would, Stewie. - No.
1799
01:02:27,223 --> 01:02:29,624
Never Stewie.
- Okay, you don't like "Stewie. "
1800
01:02:29,626 --> 01:02:31,391
Perimeter breach
acknowledged, Stuart.
1801
01:02:31,393 --> 01:02:33,895
It'll feel good when
this one warms up to me.
1802
01:02:33,897 --> 01:02:35,363
You know it's gonna
happen, right?
1803
01:02:35,365 --> 01:02:36,564
I'll break you down like
a two-by-four, bronco.
1804
01:02:36,566 --> 01:02:37,565
Watch me do it.
1805
01:02:37,567 --> 01:02:38,634
Okay, come on, guys,
1806
01:02:38,636 --> 01:02:39,934
let's brainstorm this puppy.
1807
01:02:39,936 --> 01:02:41,502
We're gonna put
the coffee in the pot,
1808
01:02:41,504 --> 01:02:42,904
and we're gonna let it
percolate. Let's go!
1809
01:02:42,906 --> 01:02:44,339
I think it'll be
helpful to explore
1810
01:02:44,341 --> 01:02:45,741
what apps have been
most popular in the past.
1811
01:02:45,743 --> 01:02:47,242
Go.
- Go backwards to go forwards.
1812
01:02:47,244 --> 01:02:48,976
Oh, and we can bin it, you know?
- Fall out.
1813
01:02:48,978 --> 01:02:50,446
Uh, categorize needle-movers
by type of user.
1814
01:02:50,448 --> 01:02:51,814
You're gonna do what?
There you go, Neha.
1815
01:02:51,816 --> 01:02:53,315
Hit it both by function
and by user.
1816
01:02:53,317 --> 01:02:55,318
The old two-prong. You're
on the forest moon of Endor,
1817
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,086
taking out the shield generator,
and you're launching
1818
01:02:57,088 --> 01:02:58,288
an offensive
with Admiral Ackbar.
1819
01:02:58,290 --> 01:03:00,022
It's not a trap.
1820
01:03:00,024 --> 01:03:02,125
All right, guys, I don't want to
kill the momentum, or the mojo
1821
01:03:02,127 --> 01:03:04,394
that you have cooking,
but to be fair with you,
1822
01:03:04,396 --> 01:03:06,797
needles and categories,
they don't use apps.
1823
01:03:06,799 --> 01:03:07,832
People use apps.
1824
01:03:07,834 --> 01:03:09,098
So I have an idea...
1825
01:03:09,100 --> 01:03:10,733
nowadays, people are
taking pictures, right?
1826
01:03:10,735 --> 01:03:12,236
They have their phones now;
they're out.
1827
01:03:12,238 --> 01:03:14,071
Something catches their eye,
they want to take it.
1828
01:03:14,073 --> 01:03:16,273
But then the photo's just
sitting there... what if they
1829
01:03:16,275 --> 01:03:18,075
take that photo
and instantaneously
1830
01:03:18,077 --> 01:03:19,577
put it out there on the line
1831
01:03:19,579 --> 01:03:20,911
and they share it
with their friends?
1832
01:03:20,913 --> 01:03:22,781
That's Instagram.
It already exists.
1833
01:03:22,783 --> 01:03:24,950
It's one of the most
popular apps in the world.
1834
01:03:24,952 --> 01:03:28,487
Facebook bought 'em for, like, a billion
dollars. That's "billion" with a "B. "
1835
01:03:28,489 --> 01:03:30,188
Oh, no, no. Mine is
very different than that.
1836
01:03:30,190 --> 01:03:33,458
Because, in mine, you're taking
the photo instantaneously,
1837
01:03:33,460 --> 01:03:34,827
you're putting the photo
out there on the line.
1838
01:03:34,829 --> 01:03:37,195
on the line
and I'm creating an exchange.
1839
01:03:37,197 --> 01:03:38,964
Yeah, that's Instagram.
- But mine's more
1840
01:03:38,966 --> 01:03:40,600
of a social sharing
on the line that's happening.
1841
01:03:40,602 --> 01:03:42,068
Online.
Quick interjection.
1842
01:03:42,070 --> 01:03:44,370
When you keep saying "on
the line," you do mean "online"?
1843
01:03:44,372 --> 01:03:47,373
Stuart, don't do that.
You don't do that to a man.
1844
01:03:47,375 --> 01:03:49,108
He's got a million-dollar idea
right here.
1845
01:03:49,110 --> 01:03:50,744
Billion-dollar idea.
- Even better. Let him flow.
1846
01:03:50,746 --> 01:03:52,412
Nick, I appreciate it.
You can't bring me down.
1847
01:03:52,414 --> 01:03:54,281
I'm too positive. Come here,
let me share something with you.
1848
01:03:54,283 --> 01:03:56,683
No. - Please, come.
I'm gonna explain this
1849
01:03:56,685 --> 01:03:58,085
to you in a way
that's visual.
1850
01:03:58,087 --> 01:03:59,586
He's bigger than you.
Be careful.
1851
01:03:59,588 --> 01:04:01,890
So, now you're out there,
take a photo.
1852
01:04:01,892 --> 01:04:03,558
Just a pretend one.
Go ahead.
1853
01:04:05,327 --> 01:04:07,629
Now you take that photo,
you put it on the line,
1854
01:04:07,631 --> 01:04:10,398
Online. - ... put it on Twitter,
you put it on whatever you want.
1855
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:11,833
That is Instagram.
1856
01:04:11,835 --> 01:04:13,369
That's Instagram.
- Hundred percent.
1857
01:04:13,371 --> 01:04:15,537
I get it. We're hip.
- We're not dummies.
1858
01:04:15,539 --> 01:04:18,273
Point taken. Now let's
go with my concept.
1859
01:04:18,275 --> 01:04:21,577
Now you've taken a
photo instantaneously,
1860
01:04:21,579 --> 01:04:23,045
or not instantaneously,
1861
01:04:23,047 --> 01:04:25,748
and then you take those
and you send those out
1862
01:04:25,750 --> 01:04:27,216
on the line.
1863
01:04:27,218 --> 01:04:29,886
Online.
- You don't have to say shit.
1864
01:04:29,888 --> 01:04:31,888
You don't. You just say,
1865
01:04:31,890 --> 01:04:33,756
"I like that photo,"
and you share that photo
1866
01:04:33,758 --> 01:04:35,125
instantaneously
on the line
1867
01:04:35,127 --> 01:04:36,593
- Online.
- with your friends.
1868
01:04:36,595 --> 01:04:37,894
Now everyone's exchanging ideas.
1869
01:04:37,896 --> 01:04:39,429
Everyone's exchanging photos!
1870
01:04:39,431 --> 01:04:40,898
And that's
why the photos
1871
01:04:40,900 --> 01:04:43,633
that are being shared
on the line... - Online.
1872
01:04:43,635 --> 01:04:45,035
will be known as
"Exchangeagram. "
1873
01:04:45,037 --> 01:04:46,737
Nice!
- Holy shitballs, Billy!
1874
01:04:46,739 --> 01:04:48,172
We don't have
time for this.
1875
01:04:48,174 --> 01:04:49,874
Hello, fellow interns!
Graham Hawtrey here.
1876
01:04:49,876 --> 01:04:51,242
I've taken the liberty
1877
01:04:51,244 --> 01:04:54,045
of attaching a link
to our app, which has
1878
01:04:54,047 --> 01:04:56,914
already been downloaded
230 times. Booyah!
1879
01:04:56,916 --> 01:04:58,784
Great.
1880
01:04:58,786 --> 01:05:00,152
We're gonna lose
yet another challenge,
1881
01:05:00,154 --> 01:05:01,587
we're not gonna
get these jobs,
1882
01:05:01,589 --> 01:05:03,188
and our lives
are basically ruined.
1883
01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:05,924
Okay, hold on a sec.
Your life isn't ruined.
1884
01:05:05,926 --> 01:05:07,125
You guys are 21 years old.
1885
01:05:07,127 --> 01:05:09,062
You have your whole life
in front of you.
1886
01:05:09,064 --> 01:05:11,030
Do you even know what it's
like to be 21 right now?
1887
01:05:11,032 --> 01:05:12,464
I mean, a quarter
of the kids
1888
01:05:12,466 --> 01:05:14,066
coming out of college
can't even get jobs.
1889
01:05:14,068 --> 01:05:15,335
That's a correct statistic.
Mother says
1890
01:05:15,337 --> 01:05:17,303
you can work hard and go
to the right school,
1891
01:05:17,305 --> 01:05:18,905
but nothing
is guaranteed anymore.
1892
01:05:18,907 --> 01:05:21,541
That's life. Sorry.
1893
01:05:21,543 --> 01:05:23,076
These guys are right.
1894
01:05:23,078 --> 01:05:25,813
The whole American Dream thing
that you guys grew up on,
1895
01:05:25,815 --> 01:05:28,248
that's all it is
nowadays... a dream.
1896
01:05:28,250 --> 01:05:29,917
You're too young
to be this cynical.
1897
01:05:29,919 --> 01:05:31,785
Do you really see
the world this way?
1898
01:05:31,787 --> 01:05:33,287
That's not how we see it.
1899
01:05:33,289 --> 01:05:36,290
It's just...
the way things are now.
1900
01:05:36,292 --> 01:05:37,892
All right, that's it.
1901
01:05:37,894 --> 01:05:39,427
Everybody up.
Here we go.
1902
01:05:39,429 --> 01:05:41,695
Let's do it.
Breath-of-fresh-air time.
1903
01:05:41,697 --> 01:05:42,897
Why? we have
work to do.
1904
01:05:42,899 --> 01:05:43,932
No, no, no.
- Uh-huh. Ah-ah!
1905
01:05:43,934 --> 01:05:45,266
Time to hit
the reset button.
1906
01:05:45,268 --> 01:05:46,935
Yeah.
- We're taking it to the street.
1907
01:05:46,937 --> 01:05:48,638
We're gonna get our heads
right, 'cause we need
1908
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:50,305
to come together as a team,
'cause that's not happening.
1909
01:05:50,307 --> 01:05:51,873
What about the app?
- This is bigger than an app.
1910
01:05:51,875 --> 01:05:53,542
Okay, and by the way,
we do have something
1911
01:05:53,544 --> 01:05:55,277
pretty terrific in our back
pocket with that Exchangeagram.
1912
01:05:55,279 --> 01:05:56,879
Just let it marinate.
- Oh, we're holding four aces.
1913
01:05:56,881 --> 01:05:58,314
Stop saying no before
you give it a chance.
1914
01:05:58,316 --> 01:05:59,849
Oh, yeah, that's a winner.
Here we go.
1915
01:05:59,851 --> 01:06:01,117
Time to light it up forever
1916
01:06:01,119 --> 01:06:03,052
and never go to sleep.
- Let's go.
1917
01:06:03,054 --> 01:06:06,123
Can we talk about this
"online, on the line" thing?
1918
01:06:06,125 --> 01:06:08,291
Please?
We're gonna follow the morons?
1919
01:06:08,293 --> 01:06:10,627
# Lookin' at, lookin' at,
lookin' at me #
1920
01:06:10,629 --> 01:06:13,196
# Look at that, look at how
they lookin' at me #
1921
01:06:13,198 --> 01:06:15,533
# Eyes all sticky
like honey on bees #
1922
01:06:15,535 --> 01:06:18,036
# Yeah, uh, uh # Look at that,
look at how they lookin' at me... #
1923
01:06:26,212 --> 01:06:27,446
Eh...
1924
01:06:32,987 --> 01:06:34,420
Oh, xi�xie!
1925
01:06:34,422 --> 01:06:37,322
My friend here says there's
1926
01:06:37,324 --> 01:06:39,425
a dance club down the street
that's supposed to be great.
1927
01:06:39,427 --> 01:06:41,026
You're shitting me.
- No, I shit you not.
1928
01:06:41,028 --> 01:06:42,361
Come on, let's hit it.
1929
01:06:42,363 --> 01:06:44,531
# Driving my car
to a foreign place #
1930
01:06:44,533 --> 01:06:47,166
# Lookin' at me,
now they know my face #
1931
01:06:47,168 --> 01:06:48,834
# We want it all now,
we got it all #
1932
01:06:48,836 --> 01:06:51,404
# Yes, look at that,
look at how they lookin' at #
1933
01:06:51,406 --> 01:06:53,773
# Look at how they lookin' at,
look at how they lookin' at... #
1934
01:06:57,112 --> 01:06:59,479
# Roll that
1935
01:07:00,549 --> 01:07:01,682
# Roll that
1936
01:07:04,653 --> 01:07:06,287
# Roll that
1937
01:07:08,924 --> 01:07:10,558
# Trust me, trust me
1938
01:07:10,560 --> 01:07:12,894
# I'll give you one night
just to love me #
1939
01:07:12,896 --> 01:07:14,262
# Have your man say, "Fuck me"
1940
01:07:14,264 --> 01:07:15,963
# 'Cause I beat
that pussy up ugly #
1941
01:07:15,965 --> 01:07:17,799
# Ooh... #
# We gamblin'...
1942
01:07:17,801 --> 01:07:20,469
Are you sure
he said "dance club"?
1943
01:07:20,471 --> 01:07:22,270
You know, I was
rocking Mandarin,
1944
01:07:22,272 --> 01:07:24,474
he was rocking Cantonese...
something clearly got confused
1945
01:07:24,476 --> 01:07:26,908
in the middle, but I say,
boom goes the dynamite.
1946
01:07:26,910 --> 01:07:28,845
Happy accident, right?
1947
01:07:30,681 --> 01:07:33,116
Show you to your table?
1948
01:07:36,420 --> 01:07:38,955
Great big world
out there, my friend.
1949
01:07:38,957 --> 01:07:42,226
Just three inches up,
I beg you.
1950
01:07:42,228 --> 01:07:43,927
Yeah.
1951
01:07:43,929 --> 01:07:45,262
Any questions?
1952
01:07:46,631 --> 01:07:48,298
Oh... wow.
1953
01:07:48,300 --> 01:07:49,833
Holy...
1954
01:07:49,835 --> 01:07:51,503
shit, that's deep.
1955
01:07:54,139 --> 01:07:56,441
All right, I think
that's our cue. Here we go.
1956
01:07:56,443 --> 01:07:57,942
- Okay. - Great. Deal with it.
- Yes.
1957
01:07:57,944 --> 01:07:59,711
Come on! Whoo!
- This is... this is good.
1958
01:07:59,713 --> 01:08:00,779
I mean,
it's totally cool.
1959
01:08:00,781 --> 01:08:02,248
It's great.
1960
01:08:02,250 --> 01:08:03,982
You okay there,
firecracker?
1961
01:08:03,984 --> 01:08:05,450
What? Yeah. Totally.
- All right.
1962
01:08:05,452 --> 01:08:07,419
What? This...
this is my jam.
1963
01:08:07,421 --> 01:08:09,054
I mean, this... this here is my shit.
- No, look, I know
1964
01:08:09,056 --> 01:08:10,389
this is your shit,
but look, if you don't
1965
01:08:10,391 --> 01:08:12,024
want to be here,
I'll go grab those guys
1966
01:08:12,026 --> 01:08:13,125
by their little boners,
and we'll drag them,
1967
01:08:13,127 --> 01:08:14,894
we'll all go back on the bus.
1968
01:08:14,896 --> 01:08:17,730
Yeah, we can...
- No, no, no, don't do that, don't do that.
1969
01:08:17,732 --> 01:08:19,099
It's just, um...
1970
01:08:19,101 --> 01:08:21,835
I've only read
about this stuff, okay?
1971
01:08:21,837 --> 01:08:26,173
Craigslist casual encounters.
Twilight fan fiction. Hentai.
1972
01:08:26,175 --> 01:08:27,474
What's Hentai?
1973
01:08:28,543 --> 01:08:30,144
Japanese comic books
where the women
1974
01:08:30,146 --> 01:08:32,012
get penetrated
by octopus tentacles.
1975
01:08:32,014 --> 01:08:34,848
Oh. Ah.
- Look,
1976
01:08:34,850 --> 01:08:35,883
it's just...
1977
01:08:35,885 --> 01:08:37,885
I have imagined... everything.
1978
01:08:37,887 --> 01:08:40,722
It's just I've...
I've never done... anything.
1979
01:08:40,724 --> 01:08:41,989
Hey, listen,
1980
01:08:41,991 --> 01:08:43,391
your secret's safe with us.
1981
01:08:43,393 --> 01:08:44,859
And for what it's worth,
1982
01:08:44,861 --> 01:08:47,796
your imagination is so wild,
1983
01:08:47,798 --> 01:08:51,032
reality's gonna be a breeze,
if not a letdown.
1984
01:08:51,034 --> 01:08:52,768
Thanks.
1985
01:08:52,770 --> 01:08:54,770
Show you to your
table, cutie?
1986
01:08:54,772 --> 01:08:57,607
# I'd rather lose it all
than take it home without you #
1987
01:08:57,609 --> 01:08:58,741
# Roll that
1988
01:09:01,144 --> 01:09:02,344
# Roll the dice.
1989
01:09:13,157 --> 01:09:14,491
Get in here!
1990
01:09:14,493 --> 01:09:16,260
Let's go!
It's about time
1991
01:09:16,262 --> 01:09:19,495
this group had a night.
Let the good times roll!
1992
01:09:19,497 --> 01:09:22,566
- Bingo...!
- Here you go!
1993
01:09:22,568 --> 01:09:24,535
Bottoms up, Yo-Yo.
- Oh, I-I can't.
1994
01:09:24,537 --> 01:09:25,470
I... I can't.
1995
01:09:25,472 --> 01:09:27,205
What?
You're 21, right?
1996
01:09:27,207 --> 01:09:30,407
Yeah, but my mom says alcohol
numbs the brain.
1997
01:09:30,409 --> 01:09:32,544
Look, I'm not saying
a shot of tequila's
1998
01:09:32,546 --> 01:09:34,713
the first step on the
journey to self-respect,
1999
01:09:34,715 --> 01:09:38,483
but goddamn, maybe it's a
step in the right direction.
2000
01:09:38,485 --> 01:09:39,784
Maybe?
2001
01:09:39,786 --> 01:09:41,119
Your call.
2002
01:09:41,121 --> 01:09:42,655
One shot.
2003
01:09:42,657 --> 01:09:43,856
- Whoo! All right!
- That-a-boy! - One shot!
2004
01:09:43,858 --> 01:09:45,258
Yeah!
- Bang it, Yo!
2005
01:09:45,260 --> 01:09:46,592
Let's go, baby!
- Yeah! That's it, baby!
2006
01:09:46,594 --> 01:09:48,794
To the night you'll
never remember!
2007
01:10:02,544 --> 01:10:04,646
Yeah!
- He's getting down, people!
2008
01:10:04,648 --> 01:10:06,581
One more!
2009
01:10:17,660 --> 01:10:20,395
Look what we got
cooking here. Ready?
2010
01:10:22,399 --> 01:10:25,000
Exchangeagram moment, bitches!
2011
01:10:28,271 --> 01:10:30,172
Ready for your first
lap dance, professor?
2012
01:10:30,174 --> 01:10:31,607
Are you kidding?
Yo-Yo stays ready.
2013
01:10:31,609 --> 01:10:33,009
That way,
he doesn't have
2014
01:10:33,011 --> 01:10:35,245
to get ready.
- This is Tapioca.
2015
01:10:35,247 --> 01:10:37,646
She's studying
to be a dental assistant.
2016
01:10:37,648 --> 01:10:38,915
Enjoy!
2017
01:10:46,724 --> 01:10:49,427
It happens all the time.
2018
01:10:49,429 --> 01:10:51,929
Some would say
it's the point.
2019
01:10:56,902 --> 01:10:58,502
It's all good.
2020
01:10:58,504 --> 01:11:01,940
You might want to double up
on the underwear next time.
2021
01:11:01,942 --> 01:11:06,078
# Make that body work,
make-make that body work... #
2022
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:07,579
I got to tell you,
2023
01:11:07,581 --> 01:11:10,182
the reboot time
is impressive.
2024
01:11:10,184 --> 01:11:12,452
Trifecta.
2025
01:11:12,454 --> 01:11:15,053
Cheers, bud.
- Hey, cheers. Cheers.
2026
01:11:15,055 --> 01:11:17,790
# Hot thing, hot thing, hot thing #
# What's up with it? #
2027
01:11:17,792 --> 01:11:20,293
# Hot thing, hot thing
# What's up with it? #
2028
01:11:20,295 --> 01:11:23,162
# What's up with it? #
# Shorty got a body that jeans can't hold #
2029
01:11:23,164 --> 01:11:26,699
# And she movin' like she learn
everything from the pole #
2030
01:11:26,701 --> 01:11:29,570
# And she love to party,
number one hobby #
2031
01:11:29,572 --> 01:11:32,339
# Out till the morning,
better ask somebody #
2032
01:11:32,341 --> 01:11:34,908
# Yo, talk to the girl,
don't fool around #
2033
01:11:34,910 --> 01:11:37,778
# - Oh # Watch what happen
to you when she hear the sound #
2034
01:11:37,780 --> 01:11:40,882
# - Oh # Tell her shake it up,
tell her hit the ground #
2035
01:11:40,884 --> 01:11:43,684
# - Oh # Gonna face time,
see if she's down... #
2036
01:11:43,686 --> 01:11:46,721
No way. H-Hi.
2037
01:11:46,723 --> 01:11:49,224
Is that your dance
teacher from back at Google?
2038
01:11:49,226 --> 01:11:51,627
Go talk to her.
2039
01:11:51,629 --> 01:11:53,495
Y - Yeah, for shizzle, you know,
2040
01:11:53,497 --> 01:11:55,597
I just go up and I'm, like,
2041
01:11:55,599 --> 01:11:57,500
"Y-Yo, you want to join
the Lyle-High Club?"
2042
01:11:57,502 --> 01:11:59,402
You know, Lyle, sometimes
the most radical move
2043
01:11:59,404 --> 01:12:00,870
is just to be yourself.
2044
01:12:01,938 --> 01:12:04,373
And I really like the real Lyle.
2045
01:12:04,375 --> 01:12:07,110
Yeah?
- Yeah.
2046
01:12:07,112 --> 01:12:09,980
Go on, you're
burning daylight.
2047
01:12:12,383 --> 01:12:14,017
Let's do this.
2048
01:12:21,526 --> 01:12:22,993
Uh, hi.
- Okay, good.
2049
01:12:22,995 --> 01:12:25,797
Hi.
- Hi.
2050
01:12:25,799 --> 01:12:26,798
Hi.
2051
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:27,799
Hi.
- Hi.
2052
01:12:28,635 --> 01:12:30,501
You were really good up there.
2053
01:12:30,503 --> 01:12:32,170
I mean, that was
amaz... I...
2054
01:12:32,172 --> 01:12:34,138
Not in... not in,
like, a sexual way.
2055
01:12:34,140 --> 01:12:35,274
Well, kind of in
a sexual way.
2056
01:12:35,276 --> 01:12:37,009
It was... you're very talented.
2057
01:12:37,011 --> 01:12:38,477
Everything you do is special,
2058
01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:39,811
is what I'm saying.
2059
01:12:39,813 --> 01:12:41,713
I'm-I'm just...
I'm so embarrassed.
2060
01:12:41,715 --> 01:12:43,182
What? You're embar...
Are you kidding?
2061
01:12:43,184 --> 01:12:44,583
Now we're even,
because dancing
2062
01:12:44,585 --> 01:12:46,753
in your class at Google
was one of the most
2063
01:12:46,755 --> 01:12:50,022
embarrassing moments
of m'life.
2064
01:12:50,024 --> 01:12:51,286
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
2065
01:12:51,688 --> 01:12:53,641
I don't remember anything
specifically awful.
2066
01:12:53,676 --> 01:12:56,830
Oh, poop. You don't
remem... you don't...
2067
01:12:56,832 --> 01:13:00,100
Well, then that means
we're not even, and...
2068
01:13:00,102 --> 01:13:02,702
there's only one very
unfortunate way to fix that.
2069
01:13:02,704 --> 01:13:04,105
Oh.
2070
01:13:06,976 --> 01:13:09,376
Okay, yes, all right,
2071
01:13:09,378 --> 01:13:11,445
that is burned in my memory.
You can stop now.
2072
01:13:11,447 --> 01:13:13,180
How about I stop...
2073
01:13:13,182 --> 01:13:14,916
if and only if...
- Yes?
2074
01:13:14,918 --> 01:13:16,485
I can buy you a drink?
2075
01:13:16,487 --> 01:13:20,021
I would love that.
2076
01:13:20,023 --> 01:13:21,056
Yeah?
- Yeah.
2077
01:13:21,058 --> 01:13:22,090
Shots?
2078
01:13:22,092 --> 01:13:24,159
Yes. Shots.
- Shots.
2079
01:13:24,161 --> 01:13:26,229
# I can fuck you
2080
01:13:38,475 --> 01:13:39,742
# I can fuck you
2081
01:13:39,744 --> 01:13:41,410
# Better, better,
better, better #
2082
01:13:41,412 --> 01:13:42,513
# Better, better
2083
01:13:42,515 --> 01:13:44,214
# I can fuck you
2084
01:13:55,627 --> 01:13:58,495
# Hey, I heard
you were a wild one #
2085
01:13:58,497 --> 01:14:00,965
# Wild one, wild one, ooh
2086
01:14:00,967 --> 01:14:03,368
# Oh, I-I like crazy,
foolish, stupid #
2087
01:14:03,370 --> 01:14:05,004
# Party going wild,
fist-pumping music... #
2088
01:14:05,006 --> 01:14:07,472
I... I love teaching
at Google,
2089
01:14:07,474 --> 01:14:09,307
but it's only part-time,
and it doesn't cover
2090
01:14:09,309 --> 01:14:10,576
my tuition,
so I augment.
2091
01:14:10,578 --> 01:14:12,111
No, don't augment;
you look perfect
2092
01:14:12,113 --> 01:14:13,579
the way you are.
- Aw.
2093
01:14:13,581 --> 01:14:15,614
Thanks.
- Could I get a dance?
2094
01:14:15,616 --> 01:14:17,316
Not now.
- Look, bitch, I don't know
2095
01:14:17,318 --> 01:14:18,717
who you think
this geek is,
2096
01:14:18,719 --> 01:14:21,254
but I spend a shitload
of dinerin this place
2097
01:14:21,256 --> 01:14:23,056
and I expect to nut.
2098
01:14:23,058 --> 01:14:25,491
Yeah, I know, I'm totally
a geek, Biff Tannen. Huh?
2099
01:14:25,493 --> 01:14:27,160
Who's Biff Tannen?
2100
01:14:27,162 --> 01:14:30,163
You're, um, Biff from
Back to the Future, right?
2101
01:14:30,165 --> 01:14:32,567
You want to take this outside?
- No, I think I'd rather
2102
01:14:32,569 --> 01:14:34,134
stay here and talk
to the pretty girl.
2103
01:14:34,136 --> 01:14:35,936
Yeah, well, let's rock, not talk.
- Hey, man...
2104
01:14:35,938 --> 01:14:38,039
Stop it.
- Hey, is there a problem here?
2105
01:14:38,041 --> 01:14:40,608
It looks like somebody needs
their two way older brothers
2106
01:14:40,610 --> 01:14:42,343
to fight for them, huh?
2107
01:14:42,345 --> 01:14:45,513
Oh, and it's the
United Colors of Nerd.
2108
01:14:45,515 --> 01:14:47,148
Do all you guys
work together?
2109
01:14:47,150 --> 01:14:49,484
I'm gonna out on a limb
and say it's a tech company.
2110
01:14:49,486 --> 01:14:51,019
Free cereal
and ugly people?
2111
01:14:51,021 --> 01:14:52,354
Oh, whoa! Hey!
2112
01:14:52,356 --> 01:14:54,121
Come on, take it easy.
2113
01:14:54,123 --> 01:14:55,457
Is this the Jets and the Sharks?
2114
01:14:55,459 --> 01:14:57,025
So why don't you guys
head that way,
2115
01:14:57,027 --> 01:14:59,127
we'll head this way,
and never the twain shall meet.
2116
01:14:59,129 --> 01:15:00,697
Have a great night.
2117
01:15:00,699 --> 01:15:03,565
That's a good idea.
2118
01:15:18,783 --> 01:15:21,417
My mother hits harder than you!
2119
01:15:22,822 --> 01:15:25,256
Yeah! Down goes
Frazier! Whoo!
2120
01:15:27,093 --> 01:15:29,361
What's up! Oh, shit!
2121
01:15:29,363 --> 01:15:30,961
See you again!
I'll kill you!
2122
01:15:30,963 --> 01:15:32,763
Hide your kids!
Hide your wife!
2123
01:15:32,765 --> 01:15:35,300
That's how you party!
2124
01:15:38,438 --> 01:15:39,739
We're too hot to party...
2125
01:15:39,741 --> 01:15:41,273
that's why they
got to kick us out.
2126
01:15:41,275 --> 01:15:42,874
'Cause they're gonna
call the fire department.
2127
01:15:42,876 --> 01:15:44,577
Why don't you bring it
outside to party?
2128
01:15:44,579 --> 01:15:46,712
No more fun.
Come on.
2129
01:15:47,814 --> 01:15:49,615
Look at that view.
2130
01:15:49,617 --> 01:15:51,484
Come on, you're
not gonna see that
2131
01:15:51,486 --> 01:15:52,852
on your little
four-inch screen.
2132
01:15:52,854 --> 01:15:55,756
You got to look up.
Yeah.
2133
01:15:55,758 --> 01:15:58,792
Okay, buddy, you were
an animal out there tonight.
2134
01:15:58,794 --> 01:16:00,793
Right.
No, you were.
2135
01:16:00,795 --> 01:16:02,529
Did you have a good time?
2136
01:16:02,531 --> 01:16:05,165
Yeah, it was all right.
- "It was all right. "
2137
01:16:05,167 --> 01:16:06,433
Why do you do that?
2138
01:16:06,435 --> 01:16:08,136
What do you mean?
Do what?
2139
01:16:08,138 --> 01:16:09,569
Lowball me like that.
2140
01:16:09,571 --> 01:16:11,672
Come on, I'm not
gonna take away your
2141
01:16:11,674 --> 01:16:13,741
"cool guy" card if you
admit you give a shit
2142
01:16:13,743 --> 01:16:17,078
about something or, God forbid,
you had a great time.
2143
01:16:18,114 --> 01:16:20,248
Um...
2144
01:16:20,250 --> 01:16:22,350
all right, it was fun.
2145
01:16:22,352 --> 01:16:24,119
Stewie...
2146
01:16:24,121 --> 01:16:25,988
What?
- Come on.
2147
01:16:25,990 --> 01:16:27,523
All right, what?
What do you want me to say,
2148
01:16:27,525 --> 01:16:28,723
it was the best
night of my life?
2149
01:16:28,725 --> 01:16:30,759
Only if it's true.
2150
01:16:33,530 --> 01:16:36,633
All right, it was the
best night of my life.
2151
01:16:36,635 --> 01:16:38,467
My Noogler!
2152
01:16:38,469 --> 01:16:41,071
Come here!
- My Noogler.
2153
01:16:41,073 --> 01:16:43,406
Wow, I don't believe there
hasn't been one boyfriend
2154
01:16:43,408 --> 01:16:45,308
along the way.
- Nope.
2155
01:16:45,310 --> 01:16:46,976
That's embarrassing.
2156
01:16:46,978 --> 01:16:48,978
Well, it's nothing
to be embarrassed of.
2157
01:16:48,980 --> 01:16:51,682
You got plenty
of time for that.
2158
01:16:51,684 --> 01:16:53,718
I mean, you're
the whole package.
2159
01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:55,886
You're beautiful,
2160
01:16:55,888 --> 01:16:57,488
you're smart,
you got great teeth.
2161
01:16:57,490 --> 01:16:58,823
You do.
2162
01:16:58,825 --> 01:17:01,425
Unbelievable chompers on
the old girl, I mean it.
2163
01:17:01,427 --> 01:17:03,595
For sure. And, uh...
2164
01:17:03,597 --> 01:17:05,464
terrific shoes...
I'm always excited
2165
01:17:05,466 --> 01:17:07,798
to see what kind of getup
you're gonna throw together.
2166
01:17:07,800 --> 01:17:09,501
That part's true.
- Well, it is true.
2167
01:17:09,503 --> 01:17:10,902
A lot of great
things going.
2168
01:17:10,904 --> 01:17:12,704
Some guy's gonna find
himself very lucky
2169
01:17:12,706 --> 01:17:14,173
to be next to you.
2170
01:17:14,175 --> 01:17:15,807
Yeah, I'm not so sure.
2171
01:17:15,809 --> 01:17:19,311
Well, I am. And I've been
around a little bit.
2172
01:17:19,313 --> 01:17:21,314
I'm positive.
2173
01:17:27,389 --> 01:17:29,589
# Hot thing, hot thing
2174
01:17:29,591 --> 01:17:31,358
# Hot thing,
what up with it, hot thing #
2175
01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:33,727
# What up with it, hot thing... #
Lyle!
2176
01:17:33,729 --> 01:17:36,663
Looks like you hit it off
with Saffron tonight.
2177
01:17:36,665 --> 01:17:37,998
I'm texting her
that I love her,
2178
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:39,900
and I'm sending her
this picture I just took
2179
01:17:39,902 --> 01:17:41,803
of little Lyle when
he made pee in the bushes.
2180
01:17:41,805 --> 01:17:43,938
Look, he's winking.
- No, Lyle, Lyle, Lyle,
2181
01:17:43,940 --> 01:17:45,773
that's a horrible idea.
2182
01:17:45,775 --> 01:17:48,410
Please don't do that.
You're drunk off your ass.
2183
01:17:48,412 --> 01:17:49,878
I appreciate your concern,
2184
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:52,080
but I'm flying, baby.
2185
01:17:52,082 --> 01:17:53,615
Okay, Lyle,
you're not flying.
2186
01:17:53,617 --> 01:17:55,116
What's 17 squared?
2187
01:17:55,118 --> 01:17:57,152
289. Why?
2188
01:17:57,154 --> 01:17:58,888
Give me a harder
question than that.
2189
01:17:58,890 --> 01:18:00,556
You know where I'm
driving with this.
2190
01:18:00,558 --> 01:18:02,291
Try, uh, maybe square root
of 17.
2191
01:18:02,293 --> 01:18:03,691
Like, 4.23, maybe?
2192
01:18:03,693 --> 01:18:05,161
That's the app.
2193
01:18:05,163 --> 01:18:07,730
That's the app
we should do right there.
2194
01:18:07,732 --> 01:18:09,331
What? - Some quiz question
you got to answer
2195
01:18:09,333 --> 01:18:13,569
before you can send a drunk text
or a drunk e-mail or phone call,
2196
01:18:13,571 --> 01:18:15,539
something to protect you
from yourself.
2197
01:18:15,541 --> 01:18:16,973
That's good.
Can we do that?
2198
01:18:16,975 --> 01:18:19,309
Hells, yeah, we could do that.
- Are you shitting me?
2199
01:18:19,311 --> 01:18:21,846
I could program the shit
out of that bitch
2200
01:18:21,848 --> 01:18:24,414
on the bus ride home.
Well, I'll take that
2201
01:18:24,416 --> 01:18:26,851
as an overwhelming yes, then!
Come on! - Let's roll!
2202
01:18:26,853 --> 01:18:29,020
Let's get back to HQ!
- Hey, wait, wait.
2203
01:18:29,022 --> 01:18:30,822
Let's-let's stay, like,
five minutes, you know?
2204
01:18:30,824 --> 01:18:33,024
Just enjoy the view
a little more.
2205
01:18:34,126 --> 01:18:35,560
All right.
2206
01:18:35,562 --> 01:18:36,561
Yeah?
2207
01:18:36,563 --> 01:18:38,363
Wow. Yeah.
2208
01:18:54,113 --> 01:18:56,049
Oh, the whole world looks like
2209
01:18:56,051 --> 01:18:58,451
a giant pinwheel of death
right now.
2210
01:18:58,453 --> 01:19:00,520
Price of making
memories, Stewie.
2211
01:19:00,522 --> 01:19:02,789
I think my liver hurts.
2212
01:19:02,791 --> 01:19:05,693
Astonishingly, your app
2213
01:19:05,695 --> 01:19:07,528
received ten times
more downloads
2214
01:19:07,530 --> 01:19:08,929
than any other team's.
2215
01:19:10,030 --> 01:19:11,398
It appears
that you have won
2216
01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:12,500
your first challenge.
2217
01:19:12,502 --> 01:19:13,667
How about it?
2218
01:19:13,669 --> 01:19:15,302
Congratulations.
Oh, yeah!
2219
01:19:15,304 --> 01:19:18,006
Come on, baby.
- The lead!
2220
01:19:20,276 --> 01:19:22,009
Oh, easy there, big guy.
2221
01:19:23,947 --> 01:19:26,448
He gets overexcited.
2222
01:19:26,450 --> 01:19:28,251
Lovely.
2223
01:19:28,253 --> 01:19:30,151
Let it out.
2224
01:19:30,153 --> 01:19:31,853
Let it out, little feller.
2225
01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:36,592
That's what I'm
talking about. Right there!
2226
01:19:36,594 --> 01:19:38,693
Yeah! Right there!
2227
01:19:38,695 --> 01:19:42,899
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh # All right!
2228
01:19:42,901 --> 01:19:45,302
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
2229
01:19:45,304 --> 01:19:48,070
# She's coming home to me
2230
01:19:48,072 --> 01:19:49,672
# Because I said
2231
01:19:49,674 --> 01:19:51,742
# "I'm lonely,
darling, please" #
2232
01:19:51,744 --> 01:19:53,410
# But instead of waiting...
2233
01:19:53,412 --> 01:19:55,112
You got it, you
got it, you got it,
2234
01:19:55,114 --> 01:19:56,281
you got it, you got it.
2235
01:19:56,283 --> 01:19:58,315
Keep going. Come on.
Come on, Neha.
2236
01:19:58,317 --> 01:19:59,750
You got it, you got it.
2237
01:19:59,752 --> 01:20:03,288
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
2238
01:20:03,290 --> 01:20:04,622
# Whoa, oh-oh... #
2239
01:20:06,928 --> 01:20:10,228
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
2240
01:20:10,230 --> 01:20:14,266
# Whoa, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh... #
2241
01:20:17,636 --> 01:20:19,138
Logan, I'd have Jean...
2242
01:20:19,140 --> 01:20:21,340
Our Professor X was
way meaner than this guy.
2243
01:20:21,342 --> 01:20:22,541
You're not kidding.
2244
01:20:22,543 --> 01:20:24,010
It wasn't funny at the time.
2245
01:20:24,012 --> 01:20:25,478
# Whoa, oh-oh #
2246
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:27,713
# Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh #
2247
01:20:27,715 --> 01:20:32,519
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh... #
2248
01:20:32,521 --> 01:20:33,787
So, you see, what I'm
doing right now
2249
01:20:33,789 --> 01:20:36,790
is I'm supercharging
my CSS and HTML skills,
2250
01:20:36,792 --> 01:20:38,592
'cause you can do them
both simultaneously.
2251
01:20:38,594 --> 01:20:40,394
HTML5, right?
2252
01:20:40,396 --> 01:20:44,332
That's one step beyond the HTML5
that they mentioned the other day
2253
01:20:44,334 --> 01:20:46,968
with the CSS3, remember?
- No.
2254
01:20:46,970 --> 01:20:48,402
Guys, when it comes
to writing code,
2255
01:20:48,404 --> 01:20:50,404
you've got your choice
of a number of editors.
2256
01:20:50,406 --> 01:20:53,008
Editors such as Emacs,
nano and vi...
2257
01:20:53,010 --> 01:20:54,209
What? What does that mean?
2258
01:20:54,211 --> 01:20:55,643
...have features
like syntax highlighting
2259
01:20:55,645 --> 01:20:57,646
and syntax specific
autocomplete.
2260
01:20:57,648 --> 01:20:58,647
Any questions?
2261
01:21:00,617 --> 01:21:04,086
It occurred to me, why not
use Emacs rather than vi
2262
01:21:04,088 --> 01:21:06,388
as the default editor
for Ubuntu?
2263
01:21:06,390 --> 01:21:10,493
That's actually...
a very good thought, Nick.
2264
01:21:10,495 --> 01:21:11,761
Thank you.
2265
01:21:11,763 --> 01:21:13,830
Vi versus Emacs
is a constant debate.
2266
01:21:13,832 --> 01:21:15,865
Moving on...
2267
01:21:15,867 --> 01:21:19,837
Let's talk integrated
personal development.
2268
01:21:19,839 --> 01:21:23,640
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh # Oh, I love you
2269
01:21:23,642 --> 01:21:27,277
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh,
oh-oh # Oh, I love you.
2270
01:21:30,450 --> 01:21:32,217
Sammy.
2271
01:21:32,219 --> 01:21:34,251
What, did you forget an insult?
2272
01:21:34,253 --> 01:21:36,755
Billy, you magnificent
son of a bitch.
2273
01:21:36,757 --> 01:21:38,089
How's unemployment?
Listen.
2274
01:21:38,091 --> 01:21:40,058
I want you two
to come work for me.
2275
01:21:40,060 --> 01:21:41,727
Sammy, my boy,
I thought you retired.
2276
01:21:41,729 --> 01:21:44,262
I did, Nicky, I did,
but I have stumbled
2277
01:21:44,264 --> 01:21:46,765
onto King Solomon's Mines,
my friends.
2278
01:21:46,767 --> 01:21:48,834
Two words:
motorized scooters.
2279
01:21:48,836 --> 01:21:50,102
Head down to Modesto.
2280
01:21:50,104 --> 01:21:51,404
Start checking out
the old-age homes.
2281
01:21:51,406 --> 01:21:53,139
Ah, Sammy, we already
have the gig here.
2282
01:21:53,141 --> 01:21:54,874
Whoa, whoa, we-we-we...
we got a new gig.
2283
01:21:54,876 --> 01:21:56,008
Yeah, we're interns
at Google.
2284
01:21:56,010 --> 01:21:57,109
Interns at Google?
2285
01:21:57,111 --> 01:21:58,478
Who are you kidding?
2286
01:21:58,480 --> 01:21:59,479
You're salesmen.
2287
01:21:59,481 --> 01:22:00,981
This is a sales gig.
2288
01:22:00,983 --> 01:22:02,915
It's a job.
- Sammy, we've had lots of jobs.
2289
01:22:02,917 --> 01:22:04,451
We're trying to build
a future here.
2290
01:22:04,453 --> 01:22:06,253
And I'm trying
to get hard on my own,
2291
01:22:06,255 --> 01:22:07,754
but the Cialis
is a guarantee.
2292
01:22:07,756 --> 01:22:09,724
You finish up
with this "internship,"
2293
01:22:09,726 --> 01:22:11,158
who knows what's
going to happen?
2294
01:22:11,160 --> 01:22:12,626
Exactly. Who knows
what's going to happen?
2295
01:22:12,628 --> 01:22:14,528
That's what I'm saying.
Why are you repeating
2296
01:22:14,530 --> 01:22:16,564
what I'm saying?
- Shh. Time for baby to go night-night.
2297
01:22:16,566 --> 01:22:19,400
No. What? You're...
Billy, you're cutting out. - Shh...
2298
01:22:19,402 --> 01:22:20,567
That felt great.
2299
01:22:25,074 --> 01:22:27,042
You know what? I'll catch up
with you later, okay?
2300
01:22:27,044 --> 01:22:28,343
All right.
I'll see you in a bit.
2301
01:22:29,612 --> 01:22:31,779
You know, if this
is being a workaholic,
2302
01:22:31,782 --> 01:22:33,282
maybe I should get a glass.
2303
01:22:33,284 --> 01:22:35,851
I have 15 minutes
until my next meeting.
2304
01:22:35,853 --> 01:22:37,319
Okay, well, here's the thing.
2305
01:22:37,321 --> 01:22:39,289
You know how we were talking
about regret and...
2306
01:22:39,291 --> 01:22:41,223
I remember you talking
about regret.
2307
01:22:41,225 --> 01:22:42,791
Well, I don't want to add
2308
01:22:42,793 --> 01:22:44,427
"not asking you out"
to that list,
2309
01:22:44,429 --> 01:22:46,663
because that credit card
is maxed out.
2310
01:22:46,665 --> 01:22:48,298
Okay, so can we establish
2311
01:22:48,300 --> 01:22:50,600
you are, in fact,
asking me out on a date?
2312
01:22:50,602 --> 01:22:53,169
Yes. And I figure that I'm such
a mountain of mistakes
2313
01:22:53,171 --> 01:22:55,873
that going out with me
just once this evening
2314
01:22:55,875 --> 01:22:57,475
will be like
packing ten years
2315
01:22:57,477 --> 01:23:00,678
of bad experiences into,
you know, one night.
2316
01:23:00,680 --> 01:23:01,712
Okay. Fine.
2317
01:23:01,714 --> 01:23:03,981
Yes?
- I'm saying yes.
2318
01:23:03,983 --> 01:23:05,584
Great. Great. Okay.
- I'm in.
2319
01:23:05,586 --> 01:23:07,952
All right. Yeah.
- Well, I'll leave you to it.
2320
01:23:07,954 --> 01:23:09,587
Okay. Tonight. Yes.
- Good. Okay.
2321
01:23:15,128 --> 01:23:16,763
Hello, William.
2322
01:23:16,765 --> 01:23:17,996
I've been watching you.
2323
01:23:17,998 --> 01:23:19,197
You should choose your words
2324
01:23:19,199 --> 01:23:20,866
a little more carefully
in a bathhouse.
2325
01:23:20,868 --> 01:23:22,935
In the words of Nelly...
2326
01:23:22,937 --> 01:23:25,037
"It's getting hot in herre. "
2327
01:23:25,039 --> 01:23:27,205
It's getting hot out there, too.
2328
01:23:27,207 --> 01:23:28,908
You definitely
got my attention.
2329
01:23:28,910 --> 01:23:32,044
All right... I'm feeling like
I want to go put my robe on now.
2330
01:23:32,046 --> 01:23:33,781
Enough to do
a little research on you.
2331
01:23:33,783 --> 01:23:35,115
What did we find out?
2332
01:23:35,117 --> 01:23:36,849
Let's see.
2333
01:23:36,851 --> 01:23:39,153
Your, uh... your company
was shut down.
2334
01:23:39,155 --> 01:23:41,121
Your home was foreclosed upon.
2335
01:23:41,123 --> 01:23:43,490
Your credit score
is actually negative.
2336
01:23:43,492 --> 01:23:45,260
That's kind of
amazing, Billy.
2337
01:23:45,262 --> 01:23:46,827
That's hard to do.
2338
01:23:46,829 --> 01:23:48,729
You try hard, McMahon.
2339
01:23:48,731 --> 01:23:51,232
I'll give you that.
2340
01:23:51,234 --> 01:23:54,269
But things never quite
work out for you, do they?
2341
01:23:54,271 --> 01:23:57,472
So, I could waste my energy
trying to beat you,
2342
01:23:57,474 --> 01:24:02,878
but it seems, given enough time,
you always find a way to fail.
2343
01:24:02,880 --> 01:24:05,046
I just need to get
out of your way.
2344
01:24:05,048 --> 01:24:07,183
So this is me going.
2345
01:24:11,922 --> 01:24:13,957
Only two challenges remain,
2346
01:24:13,959 --> 01:24:16,025
after which
a mere handful of you
2347
01:24:16,027 --> 01:24:18,929
will be offered
full-time employment.
2348
01:24:18,931 --> 01:24:22,566
Now, the next challenge
is manning the Google helpline.
2349
01:24:22,568 --> 01:24:25,969
This is one of the most
difficult jobs we have...
2350
01:24:25,971 --> 01:24:28,171
combining both
customer relations
2351
01:24:28,173 --> 01:24:30,241
and product fluency.
2352
01:24:30,243 --> 01:24:33,344
You will be judged on both.
2353
01:24:33,346 --> 01:24:38,449
This is a very tight race
right now.
2354
01:24:41,120 --> 01:24:42,888
I suggest you study up.
2355
01:24:46,459 --> 01:24:48,327
All right.
Let's drill it and kill it.
2356
01:24:48,329 --> 01:24:50,495
Authorization failure
with Google Drive. Neha.
2357
01:24:50,497 --> 01:24:52,298
Permission's probably changed.
2358
01:24:52,300 --> 01:24:54,032
Request document access.
- Bam!
2359
01:24:54,034 --> 01:24:55,901
Chrome connectivity issue.
Nick.
2360
01:24:55,903 --> 01:24:57,503
Unselect proxy server
for your LAN.
2361
01:24:57,505 --> 01:24:58,872
Nice.
2362
01:24:58,874 --> 01:25:00,974
Billy, I'm locked out
of my Google Wallet account.
2363
01:25:00,976 --> 01:25:02,041
Is that under Gmail
or Wallet Help?
2364
01:25:02,043 --> 01:25:03,643
"Uh, I don't know, sir.
2365
01:25:03,645 --> 01:25:05,645
That's kind of what
I called you for. " - Right.
2366
01:25:05,647 --> 01:25:07,680
Here's the deal. I'm pretty
terrific on the phones.
2367
01:25:07,682 --> 01:25:10,217
I could sell prosciutto
to a rabbi, and I have.
2368
01:25:10,219 --> 01:25:11,751
Except you're not here
to sell anything.
2369
01:25:11,753 --> 01:25:13,186
Yeah, Billy,
you're not going to be able
2370
01:25:13,188 --> 01:25:14,722
to bullshit your way
through this one.
2371
01:25:14,724 --> 01:25:16,624
I mean, the only way to nail
this challenge is to study.
2372
01:25:16,626 --> 01:25:18,259
You just... you just
got to do it, man.
2373
01:25:18,261 --> 01:25:19,728
Well, great. Then study up
is what I'm going to do.
2374
01:25:19,730 --> 01:25:21,462
I'm going to study up.
2375
01:25:21,464 --> 01:25:24,098
Let me ask you, is there,
like, as a general rule,
2376
01:25:24,100 --> 01:25:25,433
like, a blanket statement
2377
01:25:25,435 --> 01:25:26,434
I could say
that could apply
2378
01:25:26,436 --> 01:25:27,736
to literally anything?
2379
01:25:27,738 --> 01:25:29,537
And then I'm either
going to shove
2380
01:25:29,539 --> 01:25:31,439
product down their face, right,
2381
01:25:31,441 --> 01:25:33,241
or I'm going to give them
another hotline?
2382
01:25:33,243 --> 01:25:34,509
What you are exactly
is tech support.
2383
01:25:34,511 --> 01:25:35,912
So, if you referred
them to another
2384
01:25:35,914 --> 01:25:37,179
phone number,
what would happen
2385
01:25:37,181 --> 01:25:38,915
is that your phone
would ring again,
2386
01:25:38,917 --> 01:25:40,682
'cause you'd be the number
that they were referring to.
2387
01:25:40,684 --> 01:25:42,585
What I'm suggesting
is give me the blanket thing
2388
01:25:42,587 --> 01:25:44,387
where I'm not necessarily wrong,
I'm not necessarily right,
2389
01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:45,955
and then I'll either hit them
with another helpline,
2390
01:25:45,957 --> 01:25:48,492
a real helpline, or I'll push
some product on them.
2391
01:25:48,494 --> 01:25:50,026
You want me to shove some
product down their throat?
2392
01:25:50,028 --> 01:25:51,460
'Cause I'll do it.
- Full disclosure:
2393
01:25:51,462 --> 01:25:53,363
I think you're working
harder than you have to.
2394
01:25:53,365 --> 01:25:56,066
All you have to do is click
the button and read.
2395
01:25:56,068 --> 01:25:57,668
I got it.
2396
01:25:57,670 --> 01:25:59,103
Bam. Done. Read it.
2397
01:25:59,105 --> 01:26:01,004
I got it. I'll do it.
2398
01:26:01,006 --> 01:26:02,372
That's my man, Bill.
All right.
2399
01:26:02,374 --> 01:26:03,808
It's going to be fine.
- You'll get it.
2400
01:26:03,810 --> 01:26:05,343
How's everybody
else doing?
2401
01:26:05,345 --> 01:26:06,844
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Okay.
2402
01:26:09,213 --> 01:26:11,215
Is it just me,
2403
01:26:11,217 --> 01:26:13,051
or is this food
incredible, right?
2404
01:26:13,053 --> 01:26:14,619
You're a liar.
2405
01:26:14,621 --> 01:26:15,688
What do you mean?
2406
01:26:15,690 --> 01:26:17,623
You were supposed
to be an asshole.
2407
01:26:17,625 --> 01:26:19,424
Come on.
2408
01:26:19,426 --> 01:26:21,694
You were supposed to
pack a decade worth
2409
01:26:21,696 --> 01:26:24,863
of jerks and bad dates
into one night.
2410
01:26:24,865 --> 01:26:25,864
Yeah.
- Remember?
2411
01:26:25,866 --> 01:26:27,100
All right, now I remember. Yes.
2412
01:26:27,102 --> 01:26:28,167
But so far,
2413
01:26:28,169 --> 01:26:30,736
you've been... totally fine.
2414
01:26:30,738 --> 01:26:31,972
Totally fine?
2415
01:26:31,974 --> 01:26:33,373
Yeah.
- Wha-wha.
2416
01:26:33,375 --> 01:26:34,708
No, I have dropped the ball.
2417
01:26:34,710 --> 01:26:36,676
I did promise that,
and I haven't delivered.
2418
01:26:36,678 --> 01:26:39,713
You know what?
Can we get the check, please?
2419
01:26:39,715 --> 01:26:41,414
May we get the check when you
get a chance, Jennifer?
2420
01:26:41,416 --> 01:26:42,749
How'd you know my...?
2421
01:26:42,751 --> 01:26:45,419
Well, it says right here
on this little necklace.
2422
01:26:45,421 --> 01:26:47,420
And now that I got the name,
how about the number?
2423
01:26:47,422 --> 01:26:48,489
Ah... I'm just kidding.
2424
01:26:48,491 --> 01:26:51,292
Or maybe
I'm not kidding.
2425
01:26:51,294 --> 01:26:52,693
You're so cute.
2426
01:26:52,695 --> 01:26:54,196
So beautiful. Wow.
2427
01:26:54,198 --> 01:26:56,664
Did you just
hit on the waitress?
2428
01:26:56,666 --> 01:26:58,566
I did. Yes, yes.
2429
01:26:58,568 --> 01:27:00,135
The lady asked for a jerk,
2430
01:27:00,137 --> 01:27:02,204
and I am trying to live up
to my promise.
2431
01:27:02,206 --> 01:27:04,373
I said ten years of assholes,
2432
01:27:04,375 --> 01:27:06,608
so, you know, you got
some ground to cover.
2433
01:27:06,610 --> 01:27:09,211
You know what? I think
you've had enough dessert.
2434
01:27:09,213 --> 01:27:11,114
I've been watching you
eat all night.
2435
01:27:11,116 --> 01:27:13,182
Okay, let me take care of this,
2436
01:27:13,184 --> 01:27:14,550
because you've got
to watch your figure.
2437
01:27:14,552 --> 01:27:15,851
And you're right on
the borderline.
2438
01:27:15,853 --> 01:27:17,020
You know what they say:
2439
01:27:17,022 --> 01:27:19,322
"A moment on the lips,
forever on the hips," right?
2440
01:27:19,324 --> 01:27:21,190
Mmm, this is divine.
2441
01:27:21,192 --> 01:27:23,427
Oh, you do not know
what you are missing.
2442
01:27:23,429 --> 01:27:25,029
It's incredible.
- That's nice. That's nice.
2443
01:27:25,030 --> 01:27:27,263
But here's something you
aren't missing... this check.
2444
01:27:27,265 --> 01:27:29,833
Because I got the cab,
so there you go.
2445
01:27:32,838 --> 01:27:34,372
Oh.
2446
01:27:34,374 --> 01:27:35,839
Jennifer.
2447
01:27:35,841 --> 01:27:37,207
Bullshit!
- Right?
2448
01:27:37,209 --> 01:27:39,044
Wow, a little heart
and everything.
2449
01:27:39,046 --> 01:27:41,613
- Huh. Now, why don't you
take care of that?
2450
01:27:41,615 --> 01:27:42,914
Because the night
is still young.
2451
01:27:42,916 --> 01:27:44,215
I'm taking you
to see some dogfighting.
2452
01:27:44,217 --> 01:27:45,650
Yes, I am.
2453
01:27:45,652 --> 01:27:48,319
Rock and roll.
I think we're up to five years.
2454
01:27:48,321 --> 01:27:49,621
Yeah.
2455
01:27:49,623 --> 01:27:50,489
All right.
2456
01:27:50,491 --> 01:27:51,791
Oh... yeah,
let me get this.
2457
01:27:51,793 --> 01:27:54,993
Oh, that's a... that's amazing.
2458
01:27:58,265 --> 01:27:59,832
Okay...
2459
01:27:59,834 --> 01:28:04,103
"In Gmail, a 'bad request'
message shows if... "
2460
01:28:04,105 --> 01:28:06,172
Shows if...
2461
01:28:06,174 --> 01:28:08,175
"Your Internet is down. "
2462
01:28:09,243 --> 01:28:11,478
Son of a bitch.
2463
01:28:11,480 --> 01:28:13,013
It shows...
- Jesus Christ!
2464
01:28:13,015 --> 01:28:15,015
You scared the shit out of me!
2465
01:28:15,017 --> 01:28:19,120
...if your browser
has a bad or outdated cookie.
2466
01:28:20,456 --> 01:28:22,189
Wait, you could... with...?
- Hmm?
2467
01:28:22,191 --> 01:28:23,724
Yes.
2468
01:28:23,726 --> 01:28:25,460
I... I can hear everything.
2469
01:28:25,462 --> 01:28:28,162
I'm... I'm not actually
listening to anything.
2470
01:28:28,164 --> 01:28:30,332
This allows me
to be with myself.
2471
01:28:30,334 --> 01:28:33,601
I'm not very good
with other humans.
2472
01:28:35,105 --> 01:28:39,241
Well, I'm not very good
with Gmail Support.
2473
01:28:39,243 --> 01:28:40,577
No, actually,
2474
01:28:40,579 --> 01:28:42,044
you're quite horrible.
2475
01:28:43,447 --> 01:28:44,913
You can do this.
2476
01:28:44,915 --> 01:28:46,916
This can be learned.
2477
01:28:46,918 --> 01:28:48,585
But those kids,
2478
01:28:48,587 --> 01:28:52,922
the way that they look at you...
you have a way with people.
2479
01:28:57,130 --> 01:28:59,330
That's a lost art.
2480
01:28:59,332 --> 01:29:01,998
Go again. Go again.
2481
01:29:03,469 --> 01:29:06,036
"In Chrome... "
2482
01:29:06,038 --> 01:29:07,671
For you, this is like
2483
01:29:07,673 --> 01:29:09,907
teaching a little kid
the alphabet, right?
2484
01:29:09,909 --> 01:29:13,244
No, actually, it's like
teaching a kid a letter.
2485
01:29:13,246 --> 01:29:15,747
Just one letter.
- Yeah.
2486
01:29:15,749 --> 01:29:17,549
Yeah, you're not...
you're not... your strong point
2487
01:29:17,551 --> 01:29:19,118
would not be
communicating to humans.
2488
01:29:19,120 --> 01:29:21,786
I know.
2489
01:29:26,728 --> 01:29:28,894
All right, that was my guy.
All right.
2490
01:29:28,896 --> 01:29:30,730
Give it to me straight.
I like it.
2491
01:29:30,732 --> 01:29:32,365
No chaser.
- We're having fun.
2492
01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:34,100
I am.
I hope you are.
2493
01:29:57,359 --> 01:29:59,127
Well, thank you.
2494
01:29:59,129 --> 01:30:01,462
That was, uh, really awful.
2495
01:30:01,464 --> 01:30:03,064
Oh, you're welcome.
2496
01:30:03,066 --> 01:30:04,266
I aim to please.
2497
01:30:04,268 --> 01:30:05,534
I told you I was
going to deliver
2498
01:30:05,536 --> 01:30:07,368
on ten years of assholes,
2499
01:30:07,370 --> 01:30:09,605
and I think I did
a pretty good job.
2500
01:30:09,607 --> 01:30:11,140
It was almost a little bit
too convincing at times.
2501
01:30:11,142 --> 01:30:12,374
Was it?
2502
01:30:12,376 --> 01:30:13,442
Mm-hmm.
- That doesn't surprise me.
2503
01:30:13,444 --> 01:30:14,810
When you've been out there
2504
01:30:14,812 --> 01:30:16,612
running and gunning
for as long as I have,
2505
01:30:16,614 --> 01:30:18,414
you learn to
play the game.
2506
01:30:18,416 --> 01:30:20,584
Oh. I'd be out there
laying my rap.
2507
01:30:20,586 --> 01:30:22,152
I'd have girls
literally thinking
2508
01:30:22,154 --> 01:30:23,453
I was an astronomer.
2509
01:30:23,455 --> 01:30:25,589
I'd be pointing out
constellations
2510
01:30:25,591 --> 01:30:28,291
and harvest moons.
2511
01:30:28,293 --> 01:30:29,492
"Oh, there's Pluto
over there. "
2512
01:30:29,494 --> 01:30:30,760
And then they'd start
2513
01:30:30,762 --> 01:30:32,396
to fact-check you
with the Internet.
2514
01:30:32,398 --> 01:30:33,564
Oh.
2515
01:30:33,566 --> 01:30:35,233
You know, Google
has singlehandedly
2516
01:30:35,235 --> 01:30:37,201
cut into my ability
to bullshit.
2517
01:30:37,203 --> 01:30:39,637
Cramping your style?
- Big-time.
2518
01:30:39,639 --> 01:30:41,439
Making you a better person?
2519
01:30:41,441 --> 01:30:42,573
Yeah.
2520
01:30:42,575 --> 01:30:45,343
True. 90% Google...
2521
01:30:45,345 --> 01:30:47,078
ten percent you.
2522
01:30:47,080 --> 01:30:49,982
Just ten percent? Really?
2523
01:30:49,984 --> 01:30:51,083
Let's call it 20%.
2524
01:30:51,085 --> 01:30:52,584
Come on.
2525
01:30:56,923 --> 01:30:58,890
You know, I, um...
2526
01:31:01,662 --> 01:31:05,164
I really didn't expect
to like you.
2527
01:31:06,567 --> 01:31:09,068
I didn't think
you'd like me, either.
2528
01:31:16,511 --> 01:31:18,646
Thank you.
2529
01:31:23,818 --> 01:31:27,321
That was my ride home.
2530
01:31:28,491 --> 01:31:30,659
I know.
2531
01:31:39,636 --> 01:31:41,337
Good morning.
2532
01:31:41,339 --> 01:31:43,171
Welcome to the Google helpline.
2533
01:31:43,173 --> 01:31:45,374
You will man the phones
for exactly one hour.
2534
01:31:45,376 --> 01:31:46,509
Now, before you begin...
2535
01:31:46,511 --> 01:31:47,843
I'm so ready
for this thing.
2536
01:31:47,845 --> 01:31:49,612
I was up all last
night studying.
2537
01:31:49,614 --> 01:31:52,648
This is where Team Lyle
takes the lead.
2538
01:31:52,650 --> 01:31:54,917
...icon, accessing your account
2539
01:31:54,919 --> 01:31:58,455
so that we can review
your work later.
2540
01:31:58,457 --> 01:32:01,725
The helpline... is open now.
2541
01:32:01,727 --> 01:32:03,293
Google helpline.
My name's Billy.
2542
01:32:03,295 --> 01:32:05,262
How can I help you?
- Google helpline. This is Nick.
2543
01:32:05,264 --> 01:32:06,798
Great, so you're saying that
you're locked out of your Gmail.
2544
01:32:06,800 --> 01:32:08,166
Hello to you.
2545
01:32:08,168 --> 01:32:09,934
Well, the good news
is Uncle Bill here
2546
01:32:09,936 --> 01:32:11,702
happens to keep a key
under the mat.
2547
01:32:11,704 --> 01:32:13,271
But I'm going to play
a hunch here.
2548
01:32:13,273 --> 01:32:14,972
Delete all your cookies.
2549
01:32:14,974 --> 01:32:16,207
Did that work?
2550
01:32:16,209 --> 01:32:17,609
Great. Glad I could help.
2551
01:32:17,611 --> 01:32:19,478
Yeah, what it is,
is you probably just have
2552
01:32:19,480 --> 01:32:20,945
too many Gmails open
at the same time.
2553
01:32:20,947 --> 01:32:22,747
You want to try to go ahead
and close a couple
2554
01:32:22,749 --> 01:32:24,083
of those down
and see if that does the...?
2555
01:32:24,085 --> 01:32:25,784
Okay, great.
Thank you so much.
2556
01:32:25,786 --> 01:32:27,219
Call with anything else.
- This is Neha.
2557
01:32:27,221 --> 01:32:29,189
How can I help you?
It's not a problem.
2558
01:32:29,191 --> 01:32:30,923
You're going to click
on the gear icon,
2559
01:32:30,925 --> 01:32:32,358
then settings,
then advanced settings.
2560
01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:34,527
Yeah, you can actually have
the same tabs open
2561
01:32:34,529 --> 01:32:35,795
across all your devices.
- Yeah.
2562
01:32:35,797 --> 01:32:37,397
So the browser windows
keep on opening,
2563
01:32:37,399 --> 01:32:40,066
and then you're telling me
that that's from Amazon?
2564
01:32:40,068 --> 01:32:42,001
Your computer's got malware.
Use an antivirus software.
2565
01:32:42,003 --> 01:32:43,703
But here's what I want to do.
I want to help you clear that up
2566
01:32:43,705 --> 01:32:45,338
before the wife gets home.
Am I making sense?
2567
01:32:45,340 --> 01:32:46,741
Okay, you're going to want
to sign in to Google Wallet.
2568
01:32:46,743 --> 01:32:48,242
Update your credit card
expiration date.
2569
01:32:48,244 --> 01:32:49,943
That's the problem.
Well, the calendar
2570
01:32:49,945 --> 01:32:51,879
sync issue pops up
when you switch time zones.
2571
01:32:51,881 --> 01:32:53,280
Are you on vacation?
2572
01:32:53,282 --> 01:32:54,782
Miami. Very nice.
2573
01:32:54,784 --> 01:32:56,517
Well, let's get your
browser cache cleared up,
2574
01:32:56,519 --> 01:32:57,919
and then I'm going to talk you
2575
01:32:57,921 --> 01:32:59,387
through the best Cuban spots
in town there.
2576
01:32:59,389 --> 01:33:01,288
Google helpline. This is Graham.
How can I help you?
2577
01:33:01,290 --> 01:33:03,892
Okay, your device probably isn't
compatible with Google Play.
2578
01:33:03,894 --> 01:33:06,461
And I want to have you out there
salsa-ing, sweating and grinding
2579
01:33:06,463 --> 01:33:08,864
up against a complete stranger
that you don't even know,
2580
01:33:08,866 --> 01:33:10,599
having a pretty good time
doing some wrong things.
2581
01:33:10,601 --> 01:33:12,067
Are we on the same page?
2582
01:33:12,069 --> 01:33:13,936
Okay, see that box
at the bottom of your window?
2583
01:33:13,938 --> 01:33:15,772
Click that twice for me.
2584
01:33:15,774 --> 01:33:17,839
# Come on, baby, let me
hear you do that conga #
2585
01:33:17,841 --> 01:33:19,475
# You know you can't
control any longer #
2586
01:33:21,079 --> 01:33:22,278
Time's up.
2587
01:33:22,280 --> 01:33:23,646
So soon? Man, I was just
2588
01:33:23,648 --> 01:33:25,048
getting warmed up here.
2589
01:33:25,050 --> 01:33:26,784
Good going here.
- Is smoke coming off this thing?
2590
01:33:26,786 --> 01:33:28,651
Come on, Ladybug.
2591
01:33:28,653 --> 01:33:30,019
Nice.
2592
01:33:30,021 --> 01:33:31,822
Please submit your log files
so that I may review
2593
01:33:31,824 --> 01:33:33,023
your work later.
All right.
2594
01:33:33,025 --> 01:33:35,626
Happily.
Just click the blue button.
2595
01:33:35,628 --> 01:33:36,860
Where's that at?
2596
01:33:36,862 --> 01:33:38,128
Click the blue button,
upper left.
2597
01:33:38,130 --> 01:33:39,963
Mine's not blue.
Mine's gray.
2598
01:33:39,965 --> 01:33:41,866
Up in the corner.
It's not... I can't click it.
2599
01:33:41,868 --> 01:33:43,268
What?
No, no, the blue one.
2600
01:33:43,270 --> 01:33:44,569
Mine wasn't clicking.
Mine's gray.
2601
01:33:44,571 --> 01:33:45,770
Is anyone else's gray?
2602
01:33:45,772 --> 01:33:47,739
Did you not hear
my opening remarks?
2603
01:33:47,741 --> 01:33:49,941
Yeah, no, I heard most
of your opening remarks.
2604
01:33:49,943 --> 01:33:52,076
It's just, I was...
I was getting in the zone.
2605
01:33:52,078 --> 01:33:53,779
I was pre-gaming it.
- I was very clear
2606
01:33:53,781 --> 01:33:55,513
that you had to log
into your account
2607
01:33:55,515 --> 01:33:57,449
so that I could review
your work later.
2608
01:33:58,351 --> 01:33:59,585
Well, the good news
2609
01:33:59,587 --> 01:34:00,920
is that you
reviewed my work now.
2610
01:34:00,922 --> 01:34:02,288
You-you don't need
the instant replay
2611
01:34:02,290 --> 01:34:04,257
because you saw
the touchdown live, in person.
2612
01:34:04,259 --> 01:34:06,525
I don't really understand
that analogy,
2613
01:34:06,527 --> 01:34:09,796
but I do know
that attention to detail
2614
01:34:09,798 --> 01:34:11,765
is of paramount importance here
2615
01:34:11,767 --> 01:34:14,034
and my instructions
were explicit.
2616
01:34:14,036 --> 01:34:16,069
Now, if there's
no recording,
2617
01:34:16,071 --> 01:34:19,005
then it's as if you
didn't even show up today.
2618
01:34:20,542 --> 01:34:21,909
Except I did show up.
2619
01:34:21,911 --> 01:34:24,110
I'm-I'm sitting right here,
Chetty.
2620
01:34:24,112 --> 01:34:27,748
Well, according to your log,
you're not.
2621
01:34:27,750 --> 01:34:30,818
And since every intern
must complete the challenge
2622
01:34:30,820 --> 01:34:33,522
in order for your team
to be scored...
2623
01:34:34,756 --> 01:34:36,190
...your team
2624
01:34:36,192 --> 01:34:40,095
will unfortunately receive
a score of zero.
2625
01:34:41,164 --> 01:34:43,198
Zero?
2626
01:34:44,467 --> 01:34:46,568
Well done, Mr. McMahon.
2627
01:34:46,570 --> 01:34:48,571
Perhaps more studying,
less pudding.
2628
01:34:48,573 --> 01:34:50,039
Hmm?
- Chetty, come on.
2629
01:34:50,041 --> 01:34:52,408
You're not going to trip us
with a technicality.
2630
01:34:52,410 --> 01:34:54,143
He's right here.
2631
01:34:54,145 --> 01:34:56,913
Oh, Billy, Billy,
Billy, what have you done?
2632
01:34:56,915 --> 01:34:59,215
It's you lot I feel bad for.
2633
01:34:59,217 --> 01:35:01,218
It's really hard
to get here.
2634
01:35:01,220 --> 01:35:03,286
Some of you are probably
pretty intelligent.
2635
01:35:03,288 --> 01:35:05,155
You deserve better.
2636
01:35:05,157 --> 01:35:07,224
I'm sorry.
2637
01:35:08,226 --> 01:35:10,695
It's all right, El Ni�o.
2638
01:35:10,697 --> 01:35:12,463
We'll get 'em.
2639
01:35:15,967 --> 01:35:18,503
I studied for the test.
I studied for...
2640
01:35:22,642 --> 01:35:23,909
Well, that's great.
2641
01:35:23,911 --> 01:35:25,210
That's another win
for Team Graham.
2642
01:35:25,212 --> 01:35:26,945
There's only one challenge left.
2643
01:35:26,947 --> 01:35:28,514
Even if we're perfect,
it won't be enough.
2644
01:35:28,516 --> 01:35:29,749
We had 'em, too.
2645
01:35:29,751 --> 01:35:31,249
We did, but, you know, it's just
2646
01:35:31,251 --> 01:35:33,519
a little hiccup,
a little adversity, all right?
2647
01:35:33,521 --> 01:35:34,754
No, Nick, come on.
2648
01:35:34,756 --> 01:35:36,522
Face it.
Look, Billy's a great guy
2649
01:35:36,524 --> 01:35:39,226
and everything, but he kind of
blew it for us today.
2650
01:35:39,228 --> 01:35:41,327
Yeah, I know...
The kids are right, Nick.
2651
01:35:41,329 --> 01:35:42,595
I just wanted to...
2652
01:35:42,597 --> 01:35:43,997
come by and let you guys know
2653
01:35:43,999 --> 01:35:45,332
that I...
I did study last night.
2654
01:35:45,334 --> 01:35:46,500
I tried my best.
2655
01:35:46,502 --> 01:35:48,602
It's just, uh, you know,
today on the phones,
2656
01:35:48,604 --> 01:35:50,737
I just... it's my fault.
2657
01:35:50,739 --> 01:35:53,140
And, uh...
2658
01:35:53,142 --> 01:35:55,243
He was right when he said
that you guys deserve better.
2659
01:35:55,245 --> 01:35:57,612
I'm really sorry
that I cost you.
2660
01:36:07,190 --> 01:36:09,290
Damn.
2661
01:36:12,796 --> 01:36:14,229
Billy, would you stop?
2662
01:36:14,231 --> 01:36:16,131
Let me go, Nick.
I'm not helping anybody here.
2663
01:36:16,133 --> 01:36:17,834
What do you mean,
you're not helping anybody?
2664
01:36:17,836 --> 01:36:19,034
You're helping those kids.
2665
01:36:19,036 --> 01:36:20,035
What are you doing?
2666
01:36:20,037 --> 01:36:21,370
Where are you going?
2667
01:36:21,372 --> 01:36:23,640
What, you're going to go
radio silence on me?
2668
01:36:23,642 --> 01:36:25,041
Come on,
I'm not going to let you
2669
01:36:25,043 --> 01:36:26,509
ride away from
the Garden of Eden.
2670
01:36:26,511 --> 01:36:27,977
I let down the team, Nick.
2671
01:36:27,979 --> 01:36:30,046
You didn't let
down the team.
2672
01:36:30,048 --> 01:36:32,082
And who cares if
you made a mistake?
2673
01:36:32,084 --> 01:36:34,150
Nick, I'm not taking everyone
down with me.
2674
01:36:34,152 --> 01:36:35,920
Billy, let me turn
these high beams on you.
2675
01:36:35,922 --> 01:36:37,621
Give me a chance to turn you
with a sports metaphor.
2676
01:36:37,623 --> 01:36:38,922
Damn it, Nick,
2677
01:36:38,924 --> 01:36:40,458
it's the best thing
for everybody!
2678
01:36:40,460 --> 01:36:43,561
Stop dragging me down
with all your horseshit, man.
2679
01:36:43,563 --> 01:36:45,329
You're doing great here, okay?
2680
01:36:45,331 --> 01:36:48,065
I'm not. I got it.
2681
01:36:48,067 --> 01:36:50,001
Just get off my back.
2682
01:36:50,003 --> 01:36:53,505
How dare you.
How dare you.
2683
01:36:53,507 --> 01:36:54,840
Shame on you!
2684
01:36:54,842 --> 01:36:56,375
Put this badge back on!
2685
01:36:56,377 --> 01:36:58,343
If you're going to quit, quit,
2686
01:36:58,345 --> 01:37:01,546
but don't give me this crap
about it's better for the team.
2687
01:37:01,548 --> 01:37:04,317
Come on, Billy.
2688
01:37:25,373 --> 01:37:26,974
Randy?
2689
01:37:26,976 --> 01:37:29,343
So, I-I'm, uh, Billy McMahon.
2690
01:37:29,345 --> 01:37:31,680
Sammy sent me down here.
I'm the new salesman.
2691
01:37:33,315 --> 01:37:35,215
Well, no shit.
2692
01:37:35,217 --> 01:37:37,285
My new partner.
2693
01:37:37,287 --> 01:37:39,888
Ladies and gentlemen,
it has been
2694
01:37:39,890 --> 01:37:41,691
an impressive summer.
2695
01:37:41,693 --> 01:37:45,193
And one final challenge remains.
2696
01:37:45,195 --> 01:37:47,329
Sales.
2697
01:37:47,331 --> 01:37:50,499
Over a million companies
advertise with Google.
2698
01:37:50,501 --> 01:37:52,335
Find one that doesn't.
2699
01:37:52,337 --> 01:37:53,136
Convince them.
2700
01:37:53,138 --> 01:37:54,637
The bigger the sale,
2701
01:37:54,639 --> 01:37:57,606
the more chance you have
of taking this competition.
2702
01:37:57,608 --> 01:37:59,009
The winner will
be announced
2703
01:37:59,011 --> 01:38:01,344
at our final meeting
this afternoon.
2704
01:38:01,346 --> 01:38:02,479
Good luck.
2705
01:38:02,481 --> 01:38:03,747
Happy hunting!
2706
01:38:03,749 --> 01:38:05,115
On me.
2707
01:38:10,622 --> 01:38:12,523
Sales, son!
2708
01:38:12,525 --> 01:38:15,593
Man, those other bitches
are going down!
2709
01:38:15,595 --> 01:38:17,228
Wait, where's Billy?
2710
01:38:17,230 --> 01:38:18,062
He left.
2711
01:38:18,064 --> 01:38:19,230
What?
- You heard him.
2712
01:38:19,232 --> 01:38:20,933
He thought he was
holding us back,
2713
01:38:20,935 --> 01:38:24,035
and he didn't want to talk
about it, that's for sure.
2714
01:38:24,037 --> 01:38:25,838
We got to get him back.
2715
01:38:25,840 --> 01:38:28,140
She's right, we're all a team...
that's what you guys taught us.
2716
01:38:28,142 --> 01:38:29,641
I mean, it might have been buried
2717
01:38:29,643 --> 01:38:31,944
under, like, a mountain
of obscure '80s references
2718
01:38:31,946 --> 01:38:33,779
and just,
you know, a ton
2719
01:38:33,781 --> 01:38:36,315
of other super inappropriate
bullshit
2720
01:38:36,317 --> 01:38:38,351
that I guess was intended
as life lessons,
2721
01:38:38,353 --> 01:38:39,886
but, I mean,
you did teach us
2722
01:38:39,888 --> 01:38:40,920
how to come together, Nick.
2723
01:38:40,922 --> 01:38:41,920
You taught us that.
2724
01:38:41,922 --> 01:38:43,790
The problem is, when he makes up
2725
01:38:43,792 --> 01:38:47,527
his mind on something,
ol' Billy has a tendency
2726
01:38:47,529 --> 01:38:48,863
to really dig in.
2727
01:38:48,865 --> 01:38:49,930
We might have
to get ready
2728
01:38:49,932 --> 01:38:51,197
to do this one without him.
2729
01:38:51,199 --> 01:38:54,335
Yeah, but, Nick,
we wouldn't want to.
2730
01:38:54,337 --> 01:38:55,770
Right, guys?
2731
01:39:01,943 --> 01:39:03,144
Hey, Tony!
2732
01:39:04,713 --> 01:39:05,714
Slow it down, man.
2733
01:39:05,716 --> 01:39:06,715
I'm just kidding.
2734
01:39:08,018 --> 01:39:09,618
How long you been
working this territory?
2735
01:39:09,620 --> 01:39:10,986
Three years.
2736
01:39:10,988 --> 01:39:12,420
It's great, though,
you know.
2737
01:39:12,422 --> 01:39:15,257
You get to build a relationship
with the customer.
2738
01:39:15,259 --> 01:39:16,425
And then they die.
2739
01:39:16,427 --> 01:39:17,994
Suddenly you're reselling
2740
01:39:17,996 --> 01:39:21,229
scooters with 25,
35 miles on them, tops.
2741
01:39:21,231 --> 01:39:23,099
Everybody wins.
2742
01:39:23,101 --> 01:39:24,600
Hey, hey!
2743
01:39:24,602 --> 01:39:25,835
Look who's back!
2744
01:39:25,837 --> 01:39:27,638
Hey, Randy!
- Randy! How are you?
2745
01:39:28,674 --> 01:39:31,541
How's it going, old-timer?
2746
01:39:31,543 --> 01:39:33,177
Hey, Randy.
2747
01:39:33,179 --> 01:39:35,112
What do you want?
2748
01:39:35,114 --> 01:39:36,780
Treat them like shit.
2749
01:39:36,782 --> 01:39:38,949
Only makes them want you more.
2750
01:39:38,951 --> 01:39:41,118
Hey, everybody!
Listen up!
2751
01:39:41,120 --> 01:39:43,153
This is my new tail gunner, Billy.
- Hi.
2752
01:39:43,155 --> 01:39:45,156
Billy, why don't you
tell them about that, uh,
2753
01:39:45,158 --> 01:39:46,858
sweet ride you just
pulled up on?
2754
01:39:46,860 --> 01:39:49,293
Oh, you mean
the, uh, brand-new X-70.
2755
01:39:49,295 --> 01:39:51,329
It's got an eight-hour motor.
2756
01:39:51,331 --> 01:39:53,031
And it's got a rear-mounted
stainless sleeve
2757
01:39:53,033 --> 01:39:54,566
for your oxy tank.
2758
01:39:54,568 --> 01:39:56,602
You have no idea
how much boning
2759
01:39:56,604 --> 01:39:57,702
goes on in this place.
2760
01:39:57,704 --> 01:39:58,970
It's amazing.
2761
01:39:58,972 --> 01:40:00,071
Check this one out.
2762
01:40:00,073 --> 01:40:01,874
Ethel. That's her name.
2763
01:40:01,876 --> 01:40:04,243
She calls my junk
"the cocoon. "
2764
01:40:04,245 --> 01:40:05,544
Says it makes her
feel younger.
2765
01:40:05,546 --> 01:40:06,946
Actually lowered
her blood pressure.
2766
01:40:06,948 --> 01:40:08,113
I'm not fighting it.
2767
01:40:08,115 --> 01:40:09,882
I'm a life-giver
and a lovemaker.
2768
01:40:09,884 --> 01:40:12,085
Ethel! Ethel!
2769
01:40:12,087 --> 01:40:13,920
What's up, girl?!
2770
01:40:13,922 --> 01:40:15,088
Look who's back!
2771
01:40:16,091 --> 01:40:17,424
Come here, boo.
- Oh...
2772
01:40:17,426 --> 01:40:18,692
Who's your friend?
Well, hello there.
2773
01:40:18,694 --> 01:40:20,293
Billy!
2774
01:40:20,295 --> 01:40:22,095
What the hell are
you doing here?
2775
01:40:22,097 --> 01:40:23,965
What the hell
are you doing here?
2776
01:40:23,967 --> 01:40:25,032
Billy.
2777
01:40:25,034 --> 01:40:26,233
Hi.
2778
01:40:26,235 --> 01:40:27,567
Ethel and, uh, Doris here
2779
01:40:27,569 --> 01:40:29,804
tell me they're up for
a little group play.
2780
01:40:29,806 --> 01:40:31,372
Can I count you in?
2781
01:40:32,608 --> 01:40:35,177
What the shit?
2782
01:40:35,179 --> 01:40:37,011
Uh, I'm sorry, Randy.
This is my old partner.
2783
01:40:37,013 --> 01:40:38,212
This is Nick.
2784
01:40:38,214 --> 01:40:39,715
Nick, this is...
this is my new partner.
2785
01:40:39,717 --> 01:40:41,116
This is Randy.
2786
01:40:41,118 --> 01:40:43,819
Welcome to the jungle, ese.
2787
01:40:43,821 --> 01:40:44,820
What do you say, Billy?
2788
01:40:44,822 --> 01:40:46,088
Can I count you in?
2789
01:40:46,090 --> 01:40:47,890
Mind giving me
just a second here?
2790
01:40:47,892 --> 01:40:48,891
No problem.
2791
01:40:48,893 --> 01:40:49,892
What the hell are you doing?
2792
01:40:49,894 --> 01:40:51,227
New partner, huh?
2793
01:40:51,229 --> 01:40:52,896
I'm a salesman, Nick;
I sell things.
2794
01:40:52,898 --> 01:40:55,464
Yeah, I remember another guy
who was selling some things,
2795
01:40:55,466 --> 01:40:58,401
plying the mattress trade,
when in walks this behemoth...
2796
01:40:58,403 --> 01:41:00,803
big guy, big mouth,
big dream...
2797
01:41:00,805 --> 01:41:03,407
and he made this old
son of a gun remember
2798
01:41:03,409 --> 01:41:04,908
there's still some dreams
floating around out there.
2799
01:41:04,910 --> 01:41:06,242
It's not too late.
2800
01:41:06,244 --> 01:41:07,578
You just got to reach
out and grab them.
2801
01:41:07,580 --> 01:41:09,179
Damn it, Nick,
I reached for my dreams.
2802
01:41:09,181 --> 01:41:10,214
Why don't you just
leave it alone?
2803
01:41:10,216 --> 01:41:11,382
I messed it up for everybody.
2804
01:41:11,384 --> 01:41:12,449
You forgot to
click a button!
2805
01:41:12,451 --> 01:41:14,685
You're not a
computer wizard.
2806
01:41:14,687 --> 01:41:15,486
All right?
2807
01:41:15,488 --> 01:41:17,054
You're also not a pussy.
2808
01:41:17,056 --> 01:41:18,622
You're tough.
You grew up in the '70s.
2809
01:41:18,624 --> 01:41:20,158
Remember what
that was like?
2810
01:41:20,160 --> 01:41:21,526
There weren't
any computers.
2811
01:41:21,528 --> 01:41:22,928
Just like we didn't
have bike helmets
2812
01:41:22,930 --> 01:41:24,362
or sunscreens
or seat belts.
2813
01:41:24,364 --> 01:41:25,897
Did you wear a seat belt?
2814
01:41:25,899 --> 01:41:26,965
No.
2815
01:41:26,967 --> 01:41:28,833
What was your
seat belt?
2816
01:41:28,835 --> 01:41:30,303
My mom would go like this.
2817
01:41:30,305 --> 01:41:32,038
Yeah. It was your mom
going like that.
2818
01:41:32,040 --> 01:41:33,371
And how'd that work out?
2819
01:41:33,373 --> 01:41:34,706
You know;
I went through the windshield.
2820
01:41:34,708 --> 01:41:35,675
89 stitches.
2821
01:41:35,677 --> 01:41:37,143
Made you look like
a little bad-ass
2822
01:41:37,145 --> 01:41:38,644
all of third grade.
2823
01:41:38,646 --> 01:41:41,715
And were you afraid to get back
in that station wagon?
2824
01:41:41,717 --> 01:41:43,649
Nah. Five years later,
2825
01:41:43,651 --> 01:41:47,287
you took out that very same car
without permission from nobody.
2826
01:41:47,289 --> 01:41:49,456
Not your parents,
not Old Man Law.
2827
01:41:49,458 --> 01:41:53,727
It was just you and Sally Moran
parked at the point,
2828
01:41:53,729 --> 01:41:55,395
finger-blasting away.
2829
01:41:55,397 --> 01:41:57,397
Didn't even know if you
were doing it right.
2830
01:41:57,399 --> 01:41:59,801
Nick, wh-where you going
with this thing?
2831
01:41:59,803 --> 01:42:02,269
I'm saying life
is that station wagon.
2832
01:42:02,271 --> 01:42:03,404
All right?
2833
01:42:03,406 --> 01:42:04,706
And yeah, sometimes it's gonna
2834
01:42:04,708 --> 01:42:06,507
throw you
through the windshield,
2835
01:42:06,509 --> 01:42:09,812
crack your skull wide open,
maybe even break your heart.
2836
01:42:09,814 --> 01:42:11,346
But every once in a while,
2837
01:42:11,348 --> 01:42:13,548
it's gonna drop a Sally Moran
in your backseat.
2838
01:42:13,550 --> 01:42:15,684
Now, we came to Google
for a reason, right?
2839
01:42:15,686 --> 01:42:17,553
I can't promise
we're gonna win,
2840
01:42:17,555 --> 01:42:19,288
but we're going
back there,
2841
01:42:19,290 --> 01:42:22,558
and we're gonna see those kids,
and we're gonna see it through.
2842
01:42:22,560 --> 01:42:24,360
You get your ass
back in that car,
2843
01:42:24,362 --> 01:42:25,561
and you ride.
2844
01:42:25,563 --> 01:42:28,164
You hear me,
Billy Bojangles McMahon?
2845
01:42:28,166 --> 01:42:30,366
Ride.
2846
01:42:32,703 --> 01:42:35,038
"Contextual targeting
2847
01:42:35,040 --> 01:42:36,807
"technology can
2848
01:42:36,809 --> 01:42:41,011
"automatically match,
um, your ads to
2849
01:42:41,013 --> 01:42:43,381
"Web pages, uh,
2850
01:42:43,383 --> 01:42:48,687
that are most relevant
to your business. "
2851
01:42:48,689 --> 01:42:51,455
Yo-Yo?
2852
01:42:51,457 --> 01:42:52,923
"Review ad performance
2853
01:42:52,925 --> 01:42:54,726
"to see impressions,
- Mmm.
2854
01:42:54,728 --> 01:42:58,996
click, cost and
conversion data. "
2855
01:42:58,998 --> 01:43:00,132
Look, you seem
like good kids,
2856
01:43:00,134 --> 01:43:01,767
and I appreciate
you stopping by,
2857
01:43:01,769 --> 01:43:04,202
but we're just a
family-run business.
2858
01:43:04,204 --> 01:43:05,805
We don't do the Internet.
2859
01:43:05,807 --> 01:43:07,440
Thanks for coming.
2860
01:43:07,442 --> 01:43:09,841
Frankie will get you
a slice on the way out.
2861
01:43:17,418 --> 01:43:19,519
Oi, oi.
2862
01:43:19,521 --> 01:43:21,020
Oh, great.
2863
01:43:21,022 --> 01:43:22,022
Lovely.
2864
01:43:22,024 --> 01:43:23,257
This guy.
2865
01:43:23,259 --> 01:43:25,092
Saw you checked in here
on Foursquare.
2866
01:43:25,094 --> 01:43:26,260
Thought we'd stop by.
2867
01:43:26,262 --> 01:43:27,828
That's really creepy.
2868
01:43:27,830 --> 01:43:29,029
Is that all?
2869
01:43:29,031 --> 01:43:30,531
It is all, actually.
2870
01:43:30,533 --> 01:43:32,099
We just closed a sale
2871
01:43:32,101 --> 01:43:33,635
at a coffee shop
down the street.
2872
01:43:33,637 --> 01:43:35,270
Your chances of
catching up to us
2873
01:43:35,272 --> 01:43:37,404
just went from
zero to piss-all.
2874
01:43:37,406 --> 01:43:39,307
Now, if you'll excuse us,
2875
01:43:39,309 --> 01:43:41,509
we've got to get to
the final meeting.
2876
01:43:41,511 --> 01:43:45,181
Get these jobs of which we're
so profoundly deserving.
2877
01:43:45,183 --> 01:43:46,915
Zach?
2878
01:43:46,917 --> 01:43:48,450
Eyes off the pizza, mate.
2879
01:43:48,452 --> 01:43:51,854
God made you lactose-intolerant
for a reason, yeah?
2880
01:43:51,856 --> 01:43:53,756
You're so fat.
2881
01:43:55,792 --> 01:43:57,059
You're so fat.
2882
01:43:57,061 --> 01:43:58,928
Let's go!
2883
01:43:58,930 --> 01:44:00,096
All right, on me!
2884
01:44:06,771 --> 01:44:08,772
What a douche!
2885
01:44:10,909 --> 01:44:12,110
Guys.
2886
01:44:20,285 --> 01:44:22,186
Welcome back, Billy boy.
2887
01:44:22,188 --> 01:44:23,322
Good to be with you.
2888
01:44:23,324 --> 01:44:24,722
What happened there?
2889
01:44:24,724 --> 01:44:27,024
Uh, well, he didn't bite,
so it did not go well.
2890
01:44:27,026 --> 01:44:29,161
You know who else it
didn't go well for?
2891
01:44:29,163 --> 01:44:30,562
Lay it on us, big daddy.
2892
01:44:30,564 --> 01:44:31,597
That's right,
2893
01:44:31,599 --> 01:44:32,965
the little steel town girl Alex.
2894
01:44:32,967 --> 01:44:34,900
When she finally got
her shot in front of
2895
01:44:34,902 --> 01:44:37,302
all those stuffed shirts,
she took a tumble and fell.
2896
01:44:37,304 --> 01:44:39,138
You want to hear something
totally nuts?
2897
01:44:39,140 --> 01:44:41,808
She picked herself back up,
she tightened that little ass,
2898
01:44:41,810 --> 01:44:44,176
and she pumped her legs,
and she danced herself
2899
01:44:44,178 --> 01:44:45,478
right back into their hearts
2900
01:44:45,480 --> 01:44:47,447
and into a slot
at that dance school.
2901
01:44:47,449 --> 01:44:50,617
And that's what
we're gonna do.
2902
01:44:50,619 --> 01:44:53,419
Tighten your asses.
Let's go.
2903
01:44:53,421 --> 01:44:55,989
Get her done, boys.
2904
01:44:55,991 --> 01:44:59,393
Listen, guys, we've always
done things the same way:
2905
01:44:59,395 --> 01:45:01,495
Yellow Pages, flyers,
San Jose Mercury News.
2906
01:45:01,497 --> 01:45:02,763
Now, look, we're all
2907
01:45:02,765 --> 01:45:04,198
creatures of habit,
am I right, Sal?
2908
01:45:04,200 --> 01:45:05,332
I mean, we all like
what we know.
2909
01:45:05,334 --> 01:45:06,901
There's no
question about it.
2910
01:45:06,903 --> 01:45:09,070
But you know what the
scariest thing in life is?
2911
01:45:09,072 --> 01:45:10,305
Mmm.
- The thing in life
2912
01:45:10,307 --> 01:45:11,640
that frightens
us the most?
2913
01:45:12,240 --> 01:45:13,475
Change.
2914
01:45:13,477 --> 01:45:15,010
Yeah.
- And by the way, I think
2915
01:45:15,012 --> 01:45:16,778
most people are guilty
of getting set in their ways.
2916
01:45:16,780 --> 01:45:18,547
I know I need change
to come along
2917
01:45:18,549 --> 01:45:21,050
and give me a little kick
in the ass to get me moving.
2918
01:45:21,052 --> 01:45:23,685
All right, listen, guys,
I know where you're going.
2919
01:45:23,687 --> 01:45:25,288
But I'm not gonna
change anything.
2920
01:45:25,290 --> 01:45:29,692
Like I already told your
friends, we're getting by okay.
2921
01:45:29,694 --> 01:45:31,227
Sal, with all due respect, if
you fight for your limitations,
2922
01:45:31,229 --> 01:45:32,728
you get to keep them.
2923
01:45:32,730 --> 01:45:34,030
Do you hear yourself?
You're getting by okay.
2924
01:45:34,032 --> 01:45:35,666
"Okay"? I mean, Jesus!
- "Okay" isn't good.
2925
01:45:35,668 --> 01:45:37,034
I mean, "okay" isn't great.
2926
01:45:37,036 --> 01:45:38,335
I'm starting to think
this guy's selfish.
2927
01:45:38,337 --> 01:45:39,770
"Okay" isn't fantastic!
2928
01:45:39,772 --> 01:45:41,505
Look, I don't want
to get sideways with you.
2929
01:45:41,507 --> 01:45:42,573
You're as big as a barn.
2930
01:45:42,575 --> 01:45:43,774
He looks like
he was carved out
2931
01:45:43,776 --> 01:45:45,108
of a damn mountain,
for God's sakes.
2932
01:45:45,110 --> 01:45:46,276
But you're an artist, okay?
2933
01:45:46,278 --> 01:45:47,345
This is great pizza!
2934
01:45:47,347 --> 01:45:48,780
Picasso with pepperoni!
2935
01:45:48,782 --> 01:45:50,247
And, hey, stop it,
do not even
2936
01:45:50,249 --> 01:45:51,315
get me started on the sauce.
2937
01:45:51,317 --> 01:45:52,317
I mean, is there
nutmeg in there?
2938
01:45:52,319 --> 01:45:54,018
Something.
- So look-it, I can
2939
01:45:54,020 --> 01:45:55,687
respect the fact that you
don't want to divulge,
2940
01:45:55,689 --> 01:45:57,055
but if I'm right,
don't say anything.
2941
01:45:58,692 --> 01:46:00,525
Exactly!
- There's your answer!
2942
01:46:00,527 --> 01:46:03,027
There's your answer!
Sal, come on.
2943
01:46:03,029 --> 01:46:05,698
All I'm saying is, why should
Papa John's make all the dough,
2944
01:46:05,700 --> 01:46:07,666
when Papa Sal's got
the better sauce?
2945
01:46:07,668 --> 01:46:09,101
You know what?
2946
01:46:09,103 --> 01:46:10,736
Now you're starting
to sound like him.
2947
01:46:10,738 --> 01:46:12,805
He wants to open up
a Sal's in Los Gatos.
2948
01:46:12,807 --> 01:46:14,340
The bigger chains are killing us.
2949
01:46:14,342 --> 01:46:15,709
We're barely staying afloat.
2950
01:46:15,711 --> 01:46:17,611
When you franchise,
you lose quality.
2951
01:46:17,613 --> 01:46:20,080
You lose the taste
that people trust.
2952
01:46:20,082 --> 01:46:21,314
You want to know why
my sauce is better?
2953
01:46:21,316 --> 01:46:22,949
I'll tell you why.
2954
01:46:22,951 --> 01:46:24,718
'Cause I go down to the
farmers' market every day,
2955
01:46:24,720 --> 01:46:26,320
I buy them
tomatoes myself.
2956
01:46:26,322 --> 01:46:29,155
I walk down the street,
I get the basil, the oregano.
2957
01:46:29,157 --> 01:46:31,559
Look, guys, I know these people.
2958
01:46:31,561 --> 01:46:34,829
I'm part of the fabric
of this neighborhood.
2959
01:46:34,831 --> 01:46:36,497
That's good enough for me.
2960
01:46:36,499 --> 01:46:38,299
Sal, that's better
than good enough.
2961
01:46:38,301 --> 01:46:39,533
That's the best.
2962
01:46:39,535 --> 01:46:40,768
And we're not
suggesting
2963
01:46:40,770 --> 01:46:42,169
that you abandon the
neighborhood here.
2964
01:46:42,171 --> 01:46:44,573
All we're saying is,
2965
01:46:44,575 --> 01:46:46,575
what if your neighborhood
got a little bit bigger?
2966
01:46:46,577 --> 01:46:47,909
Take a look at this, Sal.
2967
01:46:47,911 --> 01:46:50,979
These are all just people
that love your pizza.
2968
01:46:50,981 --> 01:46:53,048
Talk about word of mouth, huh?
- Yeah, they're talking
2969
01:46:53,050 --> 01:46:54,651
about you, Sal; don't you
want to talk back to them?
2970
01:46:54,653 --> 01:46:55,918
Did you know there are
2971
01:46:55,920 --> 01:46:57,519
almost as many people
from Los Gatos
2972
01:46:57,521 --> 01:46:59,522
searching for Sal's
as there are from Palo Alto?
2973
01:46:59,524 --> 01:47:00,757
Yeah, and they pop in
2974
01:47:00,759 --> 01:47:02,358
when they're in town,
but if there was
2975
01:47:02,360 --> 01:47:04,460
a location closer to them,
they'd be regulars, right?
2976
01:47:04,462 --> 01:47:06,162
Boom. Check it
out right here.
2977
01:47:06,164 --> 01:47:08,564
I found a great commercial spot
right on Los Gatos Boulevard.
2978
01:47:08,566 --> 01:47:10,267
Just hit the market.
- That's 0.3 miles away
2979
01:47:10,269 --> 01:47:11,635
from the nearest
farmers' market.
2980
01:47:11,637 --> 01:47:13,537
You can smell them tomatoes
from your front door.
2981
01:47:13,539 --> 01:47:14,605
Farm to table.
2982
01:47:14,607 --> 01:47:16,040
F to T, baby!
- Baby.
2983
01:47:16,042 --> 01:47:17,107
Come on.
- F to T!
2984
01:47:17,109 --> 01:47:19,043
F to T is exactly
right, Gomer Lyle!
2985
01:47:19,045 --> 01:47:20,878
We're not asking you
to abandon the artistry.
2986
01:47:20,880 --> 01:47:23,081
We're just telling you
expand the reach a little bit.
2987
01:47:23,083 --> 01:47:24,649
But look-it, Sal,
at the end of the day,
2988
01:47:24,651 --> 01:47:26,350
the kids, they got
their computers,
2989
01:47:26,352 --> 01:47:27,786
they got their information.
2990
01:47:27,788 --> 01:47:29,020
It's all accurate.
2991
01:47:29,022 --> 01:47:31,222
I get it, and I
know you do, too.
2992
01:47:31,224 --> 01:47:33,025
I tell you, Sal,
2993
01:47:33,027 --> 01:47:35,226
I can't blame you
for being a little afraid.
2994
01:47:35,228 --> 01:47:37,996
Hell, we were scared
for a long time out there,
2995
01:47:37,998 --> 01:47:39,665
grinding it out
with our heads down.
2996
01:47:39,667 --> 01:47:41,067
And Lord knows
I've fallen
2997
01:47:41,069 --> 01:47:43,269
on my ass more than
a time or two.
2998
01:47:43,271 --> 01:47:45,638
But I promise you something.
2999
01:47:45,640 --> 01:47:47,139
You lift your head up...
3000
01:47:48,309 --> 01:47:50,344
...and take a breath,
3001
01:47:50,346 --> 01:47:52,512
there's a lot of great
possibilities out there.
3002
01:47:52,514 --> 01:47:54,180
New customers,
3003
01:47:54,182 --> 01:47:57,884
new franchise... and that's just
the tip of the iceberg, Sal.
3004
01:47:57,886 --> 01:48:00,320
It's all waiting
at the click of a button.
3005
01:48:02,191 --> 01:48:04,191
Everybody's searching
for something, Sal.
3006
01:48:04,193 --> 01:48:05,659
They're searching for you.
3007
01:48:05,661 --> 01:48:08,896
We just want to help them
find you.
3008
01:48:15,538 --> 01:48:17,639
TGIF, Nooglers!
3009
01:48:18,642 --> 01:48:19,675
All right!
3010
01:48:21,045 --> 01:48:22,543
Easy, easy.
3011
01:48:22,545 --> 01:48:24,947
It's okay, it's okay.
3012
01:48:24,949 --> 01:48:27,216
Now, today marks not only
the end of the week,
3013
01:48:27,218 --> 01:48:29,452
but the end of
the summer's internships.
3014
01:48:29,454 --> 01:48:30,820
I know.
3015
01:48:30,822 --> 01:48:33,422
As you can see
through these images behind me,
3016
01:48:33,424 --> 01:48:35,191
it's been quite a journey.
3017
01:48:35,193 --> 01:48:36,559
Lot of memories,
3018
01:48:36,561 --> 01:48:37,827
lot of bonds were made.
3019
01:48:37,829 --> 01:48:39,028
Kind of reminds me
of the first time
3020
01:48:39,030 --> 01:48:40,631
I owned a personal...
All right.
3021
01:48:40,633 --> 01:48:46,303
Today, we reveal the intern team
that will be awarded jobs here.
3022
01:48:46,305 --> 01:48:48,105
Sadly, one team
3023
01:48:48,107 --> 01:48:50,007
has not returned
from their final challenge,
3024
01:48:50,009 --> 01:48:51,809
so, therefore, I'm forced
to calculate the results
3025
01:48:51,811 --> 01:48:54,111
with their score
3026
01:48:54,113 --> 01:48:57,349
as an incomplete.
3027
01:49:01,553 --> 01:49:03,288
We have a victor.
3028
01:49:05,192 --> 01:49:05,991
Congratulations...
3029
01:49:14,969 --> 01:49:17,403
No way!
3030
01:49:17,405 --> 01:49:18,772
What's that?
3031
01:49:24,480 --> 01:49:25,512
What's going on?
3032
01:49:25,514 --> 01:49:28,482
# What a feeling
3033
01:49:28,484 --> 01:49:29,883
# I am music now #
3034
01:49:29,885 --> 01:49:32,586
# Being's believing
3035
01:49:32,588 --> 01:49:34,855
Okay, calm down. Come on.
3036
01:49:34,857 --> 01:49:36,624
# Pictures come alive
3037
01:49:36,626 --> 01:49:39,259
# You can dance
right through your life #
3038
01:49:41,898 --> 01:49:44,466
# Take your passion
3039
01:49:44,468 --> 01:49:48,703
# And make it happen
3040
01:49:48,705 --> 01:49:51,039
# Pictures come alive
3041
01:49:51,041 --> 01:49:55,244
# You can dance
right through your life #
3042
01:49:55,246 --> 01:49:58,647
Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes!
3043
01:49:58,649 --> 01:50:00,950
# What a feeling
- Nice!
3044
01:50:04,789 --> 01:50:07,756
# What a feeling
3045
01:50:09,528 --> 01:50:11,995
Come on!
3046
01:50:11,997 --> 01:50:14,532
# Pictures come alive
3047
01:50:14,534 --> 01:50:16,000
# You can dance...
3048
01:50:16,002 --> 01:50:18,735
Extra toppings
on this one, boss.
3049
01:50:18,737 --> 01:50:20,404
I see that.
3050
01:50:20,406 --> 01:50:21,839
# What a feeling
3051
01:50:21,841 --> 01:50:24,942
# I can really have it all #
3052
01:50:24,944 --> 01:50:26,511
# What a feeling...
3053
01:50:26,513 --> 01:50:27,879
Yeah!
3054
01:50:29,015 --> 01:50:30,307
That's enough!
3055
01:50:30,731 --> 01:50:32,084
That's enough!
3056
01:50:35,654 --> 01:50:36,822
Yes, lovely theatrics,
3057
01:50:36,824 --> 01:50:37,956
but the jig is up.
3058
01:50:37,958 --> 01:50:39,124
It's too late.
3059
01:50:39,126 --> 01:50:40,692
Rules are rules, right, Chetty?
3060
01:50:40,694 --> 01:50:42,562
Yes. Rules are rules.
3061
01:50:43,964 --> 01:50:46,265
And the rules state
that every team has the right
3062
01:50:46,267 --> 01:50:49,102
until the announcement is made
to turn in their sales.
3063
01:50:49,104 --> 01:50:51,704
So, in spite of
Yes!
3064
01:50:51,706 --> 01:50:53,941
your lack of punctuality,
which is astounding,
3065
01:50:53,943 --> 01:50:56,242
I have no choice...
3066
01:50:56,244 --> 01:51:00,481
but to accept this submission
and to recalculate.
3067
01:51:00,483 --> 01:51:01,849
Go ahead.
3068
01:51:01,851 --> 01:51:03,417
Recalculate.
3069
01:51:03,419 --> 01:51:05,753
One sale to a small
family pizza joint's
3070
01:51:05,755 --> 01:51:07,154
not gonna make
a difference anyway.
3071
01:51:07,156 --> 01:51:10,792
It does seem that Mr. Hawtrey
is correct once again.
3072
01:51:10,794 --> 01:51:11,927
Boom.
3073
01:51:11,929 --> 01:51:14,161
Oh.
- The sales from one shop
3074
01:51:14,163 --> 01:51:17,899
on the last challenge are not
enough to put you in the lead.
3075
01:51:17,901 --> 01:51:19,334
I'm sorry, bud.
3076
01:51:20,903 --> 01:51:23,638
But...
3077
01:51:23,640 --> 01:51:26,741
this is not one shop.
3078
01:51:26,743 --> 01:51:28,010
You see,
3079
01:51:28,012 --> 01:51:31,280
this... is
a blossoming franchise
3080
01:51:31,282 --> 01:51:34,784
with endless possibilities,
thanks to you.
3081
01:51:34,786 --> 01:51:36,619
And what you have done as a team
3082
01:51:36,621 --> 01:51:39,122
is connect to people
3083
01:51:39,124 --> 01:51:41,725
and connect those people
to information.
3084
01:51:41,727 --> 01:51:44,661
Which is what we do.
3085
01:51:44,663 --> 01:51:45,929
And more than that,
3086
01:51:45,931 --> 01:51:47,731
you had the courage to dream.
3087
01:51:47,733 --> 01:51:50,168
In spite of your obvious
3088
01:51:50,170 --> 01:51:53,637
and astonishing limitations,
3089
01:51:53,639 --> 01:51:55,373
you never gave up on that dream.
3090
01:51:55,375 --> 01:51:56,374
No.
3091
01:51:56,376 --> 01:51:58,209
So...
3092
01:51:58,211 --> 01:51:59,310
gentlemen...
3093
01:52:00,280 --> 01:52:01,446
...and lady...
3094
01:52:01,448 --> 01:52:03,314
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Hold on.
3095
01:52:03,316 --> 01:52:06,585
Chetty, no offense,
you're a glorified babysitter.
3096
01:52:06,587 --> 01:52:09,922
Let's get somebody down here
who actually means something.
3097
01:52:09,924 --> 01:52:11,790
I'm right here.
3098
01:52:11,792 --> 01:52:12,925
Terrific.
3099
01:52:15,763 --> 01:52:18,898
Graham, please meet
Mr. Anderson.
3100
01:52:18,900 --> 01:52:20,466
You know this guy?
3101
01:52:20,468 --> 01:52:22,001
I should think I do.
3102
01:52:22,003 --> 01:52:24,170
Andrew here is
the head of Search...
3103
01:52:24,172 --> 01:52:27,073
a rather important position
here at Google.
3104
01:52:27,075 --> 01:52:28,943
Honest, it's an honor.
3105
01:52:28,945 --> 01:52:30,076
Look at you, Headphones.
3106
01:52:30,078 --> 01:52:31,645
A little mystery
behind the boy.
3107
01:52:31,647 --> 01:52:33,179
What? How-how do you know him?
3108
01:52:33,181 --> 01:52:35,249
We were encouraged to reach out
to experienced Googlers.
3109
01:52:35,251 --> 01:52:37,118
Pretty simple.
Not a big mystery.
3110
01:52:37,120 --> 01:52:41,222
To reach out to other Googlers,
not just kiss their asses.
3111
01:52:41,224 --> 01:52:43,691
You see, these interns are
3112
01:52:43,693 --> 01:52:47,696
smart, collaborative, pretty...
3113
01:52:47,698 --> 01:52:48,963
Thank you.
3114
01:52:48,965 --> 01:52:50,832
...and just weird enough
3115
01:52:50,834 --> 01:52:52,834
to make them
interesting.
3116
01:52:52,836 --> 01:52:56,839
Also, they came together
as a team
3117
01:52:56,841 --> 01:52:58,907
to do something here.
3118
01:52:58,909 --> 01:53:02,378
Their Googliness
is truly off the charts.
3119
01:53:02,380 --> 01:53:04,614
Oh, my God, can you stop
with the "Googliness"?
3120
01:53:04,616 --> 01:53:06,416
Like, what does that
even mean?
3121
01:53:06,418 --> 01:53:09,252
The fact that you don't know
what it means
3122
01:53:09,254 --> 01:53:11,287
is why you will never work here.
3123
01:53:13,158 --> 01:53:17,127
Also, you just
made me use a bunch of words
3124
01:53:17,129 --> 01:53:18,996
in front of a
ton of people.
3125
01:53:18,998 --> 01:53:20,264
Look at me.
3126
01:53:20,266 --> 01:53:21,498
You're a real dick
for doing that.
3127
01:53:21,500 --> 01:53:22,733
Look at me again.
3128
01:53:22,735 --> 01:53:25,670
And I know your accent
is bullshit.
3129
01:53:25,672 --> 01:53:27,504
What?
3130
01:53:28,606 --> 01:53:31,142
So...
3131
01:53:33,913 --> 01:53:36,248
...welcome to Google.
3132
01:53:39,752 --> 01:53:41,387
Yes! Yes!
3133
01:53:43,790 --> 01:53:45,591
Yes!
3134
01:53:52,234 --> 01:53:53,166
Boom!
3135
01:53:53,168 --> 01:53:56,769
I have a job!
I have a job!
3136
01:53:56,771 --> 01:53:58,305
Hey, why are you getting up?
3137
01:53:58,307 --> 01:54:01,208
I should be the winner.
I should be the winner!
3138
01:54:01,210 --> 01:54:02,809
Well, I hope
you're all happy.
3139
01:54:02,811 --> 01:54:04,412
What were you thinking?
3140
01:54:04,414 --> 01:54:06,947
Maybe if I had a team of equals
who contributed once in a while,
3141
01:54:06,949 --> 01:54:08,515
this never would
have happened.
3142
01:54:08,517 --> 01:54:10,852
What about you? What do you
have to say for yourself, eh?
3143
01:54:10,854 --> 01:54:12,186
Huh?
3144
01:54:12,188 --> 01:54:14,088
I think it's time
to fake an injury.
3145
01:54:14,090 --> 01:54:15,223
What are you talking about,
you fat...
3146
01:54:17,327 --> 01:54:18,726
Man down!
3147
01:54:20,330 --> 01:54:23,065
Chetty, I appreciate
what you said back there.
3148
01:54:23,067 --> 01:54:25,467
I know you had us figured wrong
from the beginning.
3149
01:54:25,469 --> 01:54:27,569
He voted for you
from the beginning.
3150
01:54:27,571 --> 01:54:28,837
What?
3151
01:54:28,839 --> 01:54:31,608
Mr. Chetty was the deciding vote
on the intern committee.
3152
01:54:31,610 --> 01:54:32,876
I didn't have
a fancy education
3153
01:54:32,878 --> 01:54:34,209
like most of
the people here.
3154
01:54:34,211 --> 01:54:37,280
I had to work hard
to get to where I am.
3155
01:54:37,282 --> 01:54:38,748
And I recognized
a similar tenacity
3156
01:54:38,750 --> 01:54:41,384
in you two gentlemen,
so I took a chance on you.
3157
01:54:41,386 --> 01:54:45,855
You did test my faith
a few times.
3158
01:54:45,857 --> 01:54:47,257
Basically, the entire time.
3159
01:54:47,259 --> 01:54:50,094
But I'm glad you
proved me right.
3160
01:54:50,096 --> 01:54:53,264
Chetty, thanks
for betting on us.
3161
01:54:54,933 --> 01:54:57,268
Good to see you.
3162
01:54:57,270 --> 01:54:58,369
Hey.
3163
01:54:58,371 --> 01:54:59,971
So it looks like
you're gonna be seeing
3164
01:54:59,973 --> 01:55:01,773
a lot more of me
around here.
3165
01:55:01,775 --> 01:55:02,973
So it does.
3166
01:55:02,975 --> 01:55:04,041
Congratulations.
3167
01:55:04,043 --> 01:55:05,710
Thank you.
3168
01:55:05,712 --> 01:55:06,945
Look, the
other night...
3169
01:55:06,947 --> 01:55:08,780
It was fun.
3170
01:55:08,782 --> 01:55:09,815
Yeah, it was fun.
3171
01:55:09,817 --> 01:55:10,817
Right?
3172
01:55:10,819 --> 01:55:13,485
Yeah.
3173
01:55:15,421 --> 01:55:17,356
No regrets.
3174
01:55:17,358 --> 01:55:19,692
No.
3175
01:55:31,272 --> 01:55:34,241
All right, let's get
to that warm, fuzzy part.
3176
01:55:34,243 --> 01:55:36,710
Um, that's not
going to happen.
3177
01:55:36,712 --> 01:55:38,546
God, I love him even more.
3178
01:55:38,548 --> 01:55:40,747
He leaves it cold like that.
You know what I mean?
3179
01:55:40,749 --> 01:55:42,216
You keep playing hard to get,
3180
01:55:42,218 --> 01:55:44,118
you're gonna find yourself
all alone.
3181
01:55:44,120 --> 01:55:45,453
We're not gonna
have a beer together.
3182
01:55:45,455 --> 01:55:47,188
We're gonna have
about five of them.
3183
01:55:47,190 --> 01:55:48,189
We're equals now, my friend.
- No, we're not.
3184
01:55:48,191 --> 01:55:49,491
Yes, we are.
3185
01:55:49,493 --> 01:55:50,959
No, we're not.
- Let's go pick out
3186
01:55:50,961 --> 01:55:52,727
some other interns and shape
some diamonds in the rough.
3187
01:55:52,729 --> 01:55:54,395
Please stop following me.
Please stop talking to me.
3188
01:55:54,397 --> 01:55:55,564
We're gonna get drunk.
3189
01:56:03,406 --> 01:56:05,174
Have a great senior year, guys.
3190
01:56:05,176 --> 01:56:06,710
We'll keep your desk chairs
warm for you.
3191
01:56:06,712 --> 01:56:07,777
Team Lyle.
3192
01:56:07,779 --> 01:56:09,011
Team Lyle!
3193
01:56:09,013 --> 01:56:10,813
That's the spirit.
3194
01:56:10,815 --> 01:56:13,316
Yo-Yo! Come. Now.
3195
01:56:13,318 --> 01:56:14,684
Mom, I need a minute.
3196
01:56:14,686 --> 01:56:16,486
Yo-Yo, I not go. We need to...
- Mom.
3197
01:56:16,488 --> 01:56:18,022
I'm saying good-bye
to my friends.
3198
01:56:18,024 --> 01:56:20,924
I'm taking a minute.
3199
01:56:20,926 --> 01:56:23,361
Okay?
3200
01:56:28,600 --> 01:56:30,301
Look who grew
an eyebrow, Yo-Yo!
3201
01:56:30,303 --> 01:56:32,036
Come on!
3202
01:56:32,038 --> 01:56:33,939
All right, you riffraff,
get out of here.
3203
01:56:33,941 --> 01:56:35,173
See you down the road.
- See you guys.
3204
01:56:35,175 --> 01:56:36,708
See you, bud.
- Thank you, Captain.
3205
01:56:36,710 --> 01:56:39,211
Thank you, Big B.
3206
01:56:39,213 --> 01:56:40,579
Bye, guys.
3207
01:56:40,581 --> 01:56:42,047
My Khaleesi.
- My sun and stars.
3208
01:56:43,651 --> 01:56:46,219
What do you say? You want
to go get weird in a nap pod?
3209
01:56:46,221 --> 01:56:47,953
So, um, don't be a stranger.
3210
01:56:47,955 --> 01:56:49,821
Shoot me a text sometime.
3211
01:56:49,823 --> 01:56:50,957
Forget that.
3212
01:56:50,959 --> 01:56:53,226
I'm gonna come
see you in person.
3213
01:56:54,696 --> 01:56:56,496
Yeah, I'd like that.
3214
01:56:56,498 --> 01:56:57,530
Hey, guys, I grew
a pair of balls.
3215
01:56:57,532 --> 01:56:59,365
Did you see them?
- You did!
3216
01:56:59,367 --> 01:57:01,034
You grew a big pair of balls, my man.
- It was amazing.
3217
01:57:01,036 --> 01:57:02,336
They're touching
my ankles. - Okay.
3218
01:57:02,338 --> 01:57:03,671
Well, that...
we don't need that.
3219
01:57:05,473 --> 01:57:06,606
Hey, congratulations, guys.
3220
01:57:06,608 --> 01:57:08,542
Thank you, boss.
- Thank you, boss.
3221
01:57:08,544 --> 01:57:10,778
You know, I did get you
a little something.
3222
01:57:10,780 --> 01:57:11,578
Aw.
3223
01:57:11,580 --> 01:57:13,114
Not to get
too sentimental...
3224
01:57:13,116 --> 01:57:15,016
Whoa! Whoa!
3225
01:57:15,018 --> 01:57:16,850
Look at this high roller.
3226
01:57:16,852 --> 01:57:18,252
Busting out the
Pappy on me.
3227
01:57:18,254 --> 01:57:19,721
I figured
we earned a swig.
3228
01:57:19,723 --> 01:57:21,122
Mm-hmm.
3229
01:57:21,124 --> 01:57:22,390
Hell of a summer, bud.
3230
01:57:22,392 --> 01:57:24,727
Hell of a summer.
3231
01:57:42,747 --> 01:57:44,047
# Doo wacko
3232
01:57:53,425 --> 01:57:54,658
# Here's to you, honey
3233
01:57:56,127 --> 01:57:58,730
# But I'm out of your league
3234
01:57:58,732 --> 01:58:00,798
# You're never gonna pass me
3235
01:58:02,167 --> 01:58:03,434
# 'Cause I'm out
of your league #
3236
01:58:03,436 --> 01:58:05,436
# Your league, your league
3237
01:58:05,438 --> 01:58:06,938
# Lookie here, baby
3238
01:58:08,040 --> 01:58:09,475
# You're coming my way
3239
01:58:12,012 --> 01:58:13,845
# But I move like a landslide
3240
01:58:13,847 --> 01:58:16,682
# So get out of my way
and stay away #
3241
01:58:16,684 --> 01:58:19,986
# Up from the floor
on the count of ten #
3242
01:58:19,988 --> 01:58:24,323
# Oh, you get up, you get down
and you try it again #
3243
01:58:24,325 --> 01:58:26,126
# Up and down
and around again... #
3244
01:58:26,128 --> 01:58:27,127
British.
3245
01:58:27,129 --> 01:58:28,128
Listen, Professor...
3246
01:58:32,800 --> 01:58:33,867
# All right
3247
01:58:35,169 --> 01:58:36,404
# Ooh-ooh-ooh
3248
01:58:39,207 --> 01:58:41,341
# Ooh-ooh-ooh, ow!
3249
01:58:41,343 --> 01:58:43,377
# Ooh-ooh-ooh
3250
01:58:45,213 --> 01:58:47,616
# Time to learn a lesson
3251
01:58:47,618 --> 01:58:51,018
# Like Pavlov's dog
3252
01:58:51,020 --> 01:58:53,955
# If same-ing isn't working
3253
01:58:53,957 --> 01:58:57,492
# Why don't you different
instead, instead, instead? #
3254
01:58:57,494 --> 01:59:00,362
# Like Samson and Delilah
3255
01:59:00,364 --> 01:59:02,397
# Attila and the Huns...
3256
01:59:02,399 --> 01:59:03,565
Buddy, they can't see us, okay?
- I understand that,
3257
01:59:03,567 --> 01:59:05,068
but here we go.
- Go cheek to cheek.
3258
01:59:05,070 --> 01:59:06,602
Just go like I tell you.
- Okay, don't interrupt me.
3259
01:59:06,604 --> 01:59:07,970
Put your cheek next to mine.
- Yes.
3260
01:59:07,972 --> 01:59:09,672
Yeah, I get it. You got us?
- Hi, my name is Billy.
3261
01:59:09,674 --> 01:59:10,873
Yeah, Nick Campbell.
- Oh, good.
3262
01:59:10,875 --> 01:59:11,908
You can hear me.
3263
01:59:11,910 --> 01:59:13,976
# Oh, you get up
3264
01:59:13,978 --> 01:59:16,413
# You get down
and you try it again #
3265
01:59:16,415 --> 01:59:18,715
# Up and down and around again
3266
01:59:18,717 --> 01:59:22,352
# Oh, you get up, you get down
and you try it again #
3267
01:59:22,354 --> 01:59:24,822
# Round for round
3268
01:59:24,824 --> 01:59:28,393
# Oh, you get up, you get down
and you try it again #
3269
01:59:28,395 --> 01:59:31,061
# Hit the ground
3270
01:59:31,063 --> 01:59:33,965
# Oh, you get up, you get down
and you try it again #
3271
01:59:33,967 --> 01:59:37,068
# Oh, you get up, you
get down and you try it again #
3272
01:59:37,070 --> 01:59:40,038
# Oh, you get up, you get down
and you try it again #
3273
01:59:40,040 --> 01:59:43,676
# Oh, you get up, you
get down and you try it again. #
3274
01:59:46,146 --> 01:59:48,279
Guys, hi.
3275
01:59:48,281 --> 01:59:50,382
Hey.
So, what do you think?
3276
01:59:50,384 --> 01:59:52,952
Cosplay. What can you say?
- I knew you'd love it.
3277
01:59:52,954 --> 01:59:54,220
Stuart totally
loves it, too, now.
3278
01:59:54,222 --> 01:59:56,056
You guys have fun.
Okay, great.
3279
01:59:56,058 --> 01:59:58,023
Don't worry about us.
We're having a great time.
3280
01:59:58,025 --> 01:59:59,125
Don't worry about us.
We're having fun.
3281
01:59:59,127 --> 02:00:01,428
Uh-oh. Here we go.
- Oh, hit it.
3282
02:00:01,430 --> 02:00:03,663
Classic Star Wars villain. - Looking on
with Boba Fett. We're just observers.
3283
02:00:03,665 --> 02:00:05,833
We're just here to observe.
- It's me!
3284
02:00:05,835 --> 02:00:07,634
- Kevin.
- What the shit? - Shit.
3285
02:00:07,636 --> 02:00:09,503
Guys. Yeah.
- Kevin!
3286
02:00:09,505 --> 02:00:10,904
What the hell
are you doing here?
3287
02:00:10,906 --> 02:00:13,574
Cosby. It's your
first time at Cosby?
3288
02:00:13,576 --> 02:00:15,610
Excuse me?
- It's my new journey.
3289
02:00:15,612 --> 02:00:16,776
And I have you to thank.
3290
02:00:16,778 --> 02:00:18,513
You really pointed
some things out.
3291
02:00:18,515 --> 02:00:19,881
I was being a
jerk to people.
3292
02:00:19,883 --> 02:00:21,349
'Cause I was hurting inside.
3293
02:00:21,351 --> 02:00:23,252
Well, it takes a big man
to admit he's wrong, Kevin.
3294
02:00:23,254 --> 02:00:25,754
Good for you. - Anyway, I'm going to
dive back into the fun.
3295
02:00:25,756 --> 02:00:27,655
Ooh, check out
this hot little number.
3296
02:00:27,657 --> 02:00:31,059
I don't know if it's a...
Ewok or a space squirrel.
3297
02:00:31,061 --> 02:00:33,195
I can't wait to rip into that.
3298
02:00:33,197 --> 02:00:34,597
How do you know
who's underneath the mask?
3299
02:00:34,599 --> 02:00:36,198
Look, I don't know what's
underneath the hood,
3300
02:00:36,200 --> 02:00:37,766
and I don't give a shit.
3301
02:00:37,768 --> 02:00:39,135
I'm insatiable.
3302
02:00:39,137 --> 02:00:41,304
Now, if you excuse me,
old Boba Fett's
3303
02:00:41,306 --> 02:00:43,973
going to give this squirrel
a couple nuts to hide.
3304
02:00:43,975 --> 02:00:45,909
You know Boba Fett...
he always fucked
3305
02:00:45,911 --> 02:00:47,977
the space squirrel
at the end of the movie.
3306
02:00:47,979 --> 02:00:49,913
Audience knew
it was coming.
3307
02:00:49,915 --> 02:00:51,415
Audience wanted it.
3308
02:00:51,417 --> 02:00:52,883
Audience got it.
3309
02:00:52,885 --> 02:00:56,554
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
3310
02:00:56,556 --> 02:01:00,057
# Whoa, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh #
3311
02:01:00,059 --> 02:01:03,728
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
3312
02:01:03,730 --> 02:01:07,332
# Whoa, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh #
3313
02:01:07,334 --> 02:01:09,167
# She's coming home to me
3314
02:01:09,169 --> 02:01:10,569
# Because I said
3315
02:01:10,571 --> 02:01:13,239
# "I'm lonely,
darling, please" #
3316
02:01:13,241 --> 02:01:15,240
# But instead of waiting
3317
02:01:15,242 --> 02:01:17,776
# I go flying off to you
3318
02:01:17,778 --> 02:01:20,746
# Why? #
# Well, just because
3319
02:01:20,748 --> 02:01:24,483
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
3320
02:01:24,485 --> 02:01:27,920
# Whoa, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh #
3321
02:01:27,922 --> 02:01:31,491
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
3322
02:01:31,493 --> 02:01:35,896
# Whoa, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh #
3323
02:01:41,837 --> 02:01:43,537
# I arrive when you're gone
3324
02:01:43,539 --> 02:01:45,405
# So I wait at your door
3325
02:01:45,407 --> 02:01:47,408
# You pull up
in some guy's car #
3326
02:01:47,410 --> 02:01:49,110
# Around 4:00
3327
02:01:49,112 --> 02:01:50,678
# I punch him, kiss
3328
02:01:50,680 --> 02:01:52,714
# And carry you inside
3329
02:01:52,716 --> 02:01:55,683
# Why? #
# Well, just because
3330
02:01:55,685 --> 02:01:59,221
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
3331
02:01:59,223 --> 02:02:02,825
# Whoa, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh #
3332
02:02:02,827 --> 02:02:06,195
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh #
3333
02:02:06,197 --> 02:02:10,233
# Whoa, oh-oh,
oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh #
3334
02:02:20,378 --> 02:02:23,647
# Oh, oh, oh, ow!
3335
02:02:23,649 --> 02:02:26,550
# Oh, baby, do you
like me that way? #
3336
02:02:26,552 --> 02:02:30,220
# There's something 'bout you
that makes me wanna say, yeah #
3337
02:02:30,222 --> 02:02:33,891
# I don't mind, I don't mind,
I don't mind, ow! #
3338
02:02:33,893 --> 02:02:37,262
# Oh, baby,
I like you that way #
3339
02:02:37,264 --> 02:02:39,497
# She's coming home to me
3340
02:02:39,499 --> 02:02:41,165
# Because I said
3341
02:02:41,167 --> 02:02:44,336
# "I'm lonely,
darling, please" #
3342
02:02:44,338 --> 02:02:47,740
# But instead of waiting
3343
02:02:47,742 --> 02:02:53,579
# I go flying off to you
3344
02:02:53,581 --> 02:02:55,548
# Why?
3345
02:02:55,985 --> 02:02:57,310
# Well, just because #
3346
02:02:57,345 --> 02:03:00,948
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,
oh-oh, oh-oh # Oh, I love you
3347
02:03:00,950 --> 02:03:05,020
# Whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh,
oh-oh # Oh, I love you.
3348
02:03:05,687 --> 02:03:10,779
sync, fix: titler