1
00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:37,745
That logo music
just gets you pumped.

2
00:00:37,779 --> 00:00:39,380
Right?

3
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:42,483
I'm sorry. I just, I'm excited
to be here. It's been a while.

4
00:00:42,517 --> 00:00:43,650
You know, for a long time,

5
00:00:43,684 --> 00:00:45,486
I wasn't sure I'd ever be back.

6
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:46,654
Disney bought Fox,

7
00:00:46,688 --> 00:00:48,356
there was a whole
boring rights issue,

8
00:00:48,389 --> 00:00:49,524
blabbity-blabbity-blah.

9
00:00:49,557 --> 00:00:52,459
But then, it turned out,
they wanted me.

10
00:00:52,492 --> 00:00:55,130
The one guy who shouldn't
even have his own movie,

11
00:00:55,164 --> 00:00:56,665
much less a franchise.

12
00:00:56,699 --> 00:00:59,935
Marvel's so stupid.

13
00:00:59,969 --> 00:01:01,871
Look, we know the title
of this thing.

14
00:01:01,904 --> 00:01:03,671
So, I know
what you're wondering.

15
00:01:03,705 --> 00:01:04,839
How are we gonna do this

16
00:01:04,873 --> 00:01:08,244
without dishonoring
Logan's memory?

17
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,644
And I'll tell you how.

18
00:01:10,411 --> 00:01:11,645
We're not.

19
00:01:13,413 --> 00:01:15,517
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

20
00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:17,853
Wolverine is not dead.

21
00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:21,123
Sure, it made for a perfect
ending to a very sad story.

22
00:01:21,156 --> 00:01:22,224
But that's not how

23
00:01:22,258 --> 00:01:24,459
regenerative healing
factors work.

24
00:01:24,492 --> 00:01:25,727
You think I wanna be out here

25
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,863
in beautiful downtown
North Dakota,

26
00:01:27,897 --> 00:01:31,100
digging up the one and only
Wolverine? No, thank you.

27
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,701
But the fate of
my entire world is at stake.

28
00:01:33,735 --> 00:01:35,204
He may not
be living his best life,

29
00:01:35,236 --> 00:01:37,539
but he sure as hell ain't

30
00:01:37,573 --> 00:01:39,174
dead.

31
00:01:44,112 --> 00:01:45,113
Bingo.

32
00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:46,949
Yahtzee.

33
00:01:50,185 --> 00:01:53,088
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

34
00:01:56,759 --> 00:01:57,760
Damn it!

35
00:01:58,627 --> 00:02:01,529
Son of a bitch!

36
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,666
You...

37
00:02:06,602 --> 00:02:09,905
Christ. Motherfucker!

38
00:02:09,939 --> 00:02:11,572
My world is fuck...

39
00:02:11,606 --> 00:02:14,509
That was weird.

40
00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:15,777
I'm much calmer now.

41
00:02:17,313 --> 00:02:20,215
Look, I'm not a man of science.

42
00:02:20,249 --> 00:02:23,252
But you seem
incredibly passed away.

43
00:02:26,587 --> 00:02:28,123
But it's good to see ya.

44
00:02:28,157 --> 00:02:31,393
I gotta be honest, I've always
wanted to ride with you, Log.

45
00:02:31,427 --> 00:02:32,727
You and me getting into it.

46
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,496
Deadpool and Wolverine
just fuckin' shit up.

47
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:39,500
Can you imagine the fun,
the chaos...

48
00:02:40,002 --> 00:02:41,003
the residuals?

49
00:02:41,937 --> 00:02:43,205
G'day, mate.

50
00:02:43,238 --> 00:02:45,173
There's nothing that'll
bring me back to life faster

51
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:48,010
than a big bag
of Marvel cash.

52
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,611
Me too, Hugh.

53
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:54,149
But, no. No, no, no.

54
00:02:54,183 --> 00:02:58,054
You had to get
all noble and die for real.

55
00:02:58,088 --> 00:02:59,856
Goddamn it!

56
00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:03,691
I could really use
your help right now.

57
00:03:14,502 --> 00:03:15,702
Wait!

58
00:03:16,636 --> 00:03:18,440
I'm warning you, I'm not alone.

59
00:03:18,474 --> 00:03:20,675
Wade Winston Wilson,

60
00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:23,178
you are under arrest by
the Time Variance Authority...

61
00:03:24,279 --> 00:03:25,579
for too many crimes to list.

62
00:03:25,613 --> 00:03:26,815
Come out...

63
00:03:26,849 --> 00:03:28,117
and we'll extend you
the courtesy

64
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:30,387
- of taking you in one piece.
- Death by day-player.

65
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,652
Last chance.

66
00:03:31,686 --> 00:03:32,921
Throw out your weapons

67
00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:34,923
and come out peacefully.

68
00:03:34,956 --> 00:03:36,824
I'm not gonna
give you my weapons,

69
00:03:36,858 --> 00:03:39,996
but I promise not to use them.

70
00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:42,831
There are two hundred and six
bones in the human body.

71
00:03:42,865 --> 00:03:45,000
Two hundred and seven
if I'm watching Gossip Girl.

72
00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:48,136
Here we go. Maximum effort.

73
00:03:55,411 --> 00:03:56,577
Okay, peanut.

74
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,213
Guess we're getting
that team-up after all.

75
00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:10,152
Maradona from outside the box!

76
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,422
Goal!

77
00:06:00,334 --> 00:06:02,037
Come on, big fella.

78
00:06:40,641 --> 00:06:43,178
I am soaking wet right now.

79
00:06:46,215 --> 00:06:48,282
To be clear, I'm not proud
of any of this.

80
00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:51,420
The wanton violence,
the whiff of necrophilia.

81
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,554
It isn't who I am.

82
00:06:52,588 --> 00:06:54,157
It isn't who I wanna be.

83
00:06:54,189 --> 00:06:55,224
Who I wanna be?

84
00:06:55,257 --> 00:06:57,292
Well, to help you
understand that,

85
00:06:57,326 --> 00:06:58,360
I've gotta take you back.

86
00:06:58,393 --> 00:07:01,063
A little joyride I took
through space and time,

87
00:07:01,096 --> 00:07:04,032
to the day
that changed everything.

88
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,646
I can't believe
I'm finally here.

89
00:07:17,679 --> 00:07:20,381
I've waited for this moment
for so long.

90
00:07:21,582 --> 00:07:23,952
Thank you, sir, for seeing me.

91
00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:26,754
I... I firmly believe

92
00:07:26,787 --> 00:07:28,123
that my services could be of

93
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,124
great use to your organization.

94
00:07:30,157 --> 00:07:31,325
Now, I know

95
00:07:31,359 --> 00:07:33,629
I was caught smashturbating
in the lobby of Stark Tower,

96
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:34,930
- but I can assure you that...
- Smashturbating?

97
00:07:34,963 --> 00:07:36,265
I'm sorry, what...
what was that?

98
00:07:36,298 --> 00:07:39,766
No, I'm sorry. That...
That's when you get those toy,

99
00:07:39,799 --> 00:07:41,069
Hulk hands, right?

100
00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:43,771
And then you just, you look
down, and you just...

101
00:07:43,804 --> 00:07:46,375
you brace yourself,
and you ravage the midsection.

102
00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:48,110
- Pinch the... Yeah. Okay.
- I get it. Okay, thank you.

103
00:07:48,143 --> 00:07:50,045
- The picture's painted.
- You get the gist.

104
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,514
What exactly
brings you here today?

105
00:07:52,547 --> 00:07:55,717
Why am I... Okay...

106
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:57,252
I... I care.

107
00:07:57,286 --> 00:08:00,222
I know I turn everything
into a joke, but I...

108
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,993
I care, and I wanna use
that feeling...

109
00:08:05,826 --> 00:08:08,230
for something important.

110
00:08:08,263 --> 00:08:09,563
I... I wanna matter.

111
00:08:12,266 --> 00:08:14,235
I need to show my girl
that I matter.

112
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,039
And...

113
00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:18,340
You know,
I feel like I'm wasting

114
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,206
the good stuff here.

115
00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,775
Is the man not gonna
be joining us?

116
00:08:20,807 --> 00:08:21,842
- The man?
- Yeah.

117
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,011
I should save this
if he's gonna...

118
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,048
As far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.

119
00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,715
- No.
- The man is me.

120
00:08:27,748 --> 00:08:30,719
I am the man
in this circumstance.

121
00:08:30,752 --> 00:08:31,953
He doesn't do

122
00:08:31,987 --> 00:08:33,554
this kind of thing anymore.

123
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:34,623
- Cameos?
- Meetings.

124
00:08:34,655 --> 00:08:36,291
- Meetings.
- Entry-level meetings.

125
00:08:36,325 --> 00:08:37,159
Entry-level?

126
00:08:37,192 --> 00:08:39,193
Aren't you the chauffeur...

127
00:08:39,226 --> 00:08:41,496
- maybe?
- I... Common misconception.

128
00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:42,863
- Okay.
- I did begin my career

129
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,665
as Mr. Stark's driver.

130
00:08:44,699 --> 00:08:45,734
- Okay.
- Quickly pivoted to...

131
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,269
- Chauffeur.
- The Head of Security.

132
00:08:47,302 --> 00:08:49,271
The Head of...
Of course, yes, yes, yes.

133
00:08:49,304 --> 00:08:52,306
And why I am vetting
your resume.

134
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:54,710
You seem to have left out
whether or not you had

135
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,445
any experience
as a member of a team.

136
00:08:56,478 --> 00:08:57,312
Could you maybe add

137
00:08:57,346 --> 00:08:58,580
a little bit
of perspective there?

138
00:08:58,613 --> 00:09:01,015
No, yes, of course.
I was Special Forces...

139
00:09:01,048 --> 00:09:02,083
- Okay.
- But I was...

140
00:09:02,116 --> 00:09:03,751
Mainly, I was team leader...

141
00:09:03,784 --> 00:09:05,052
founder, really, of X-Force.

142
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,021
Sadly, they... they all
perished in action though.

143
00:09:07,054 --> 00:09:08,390
How exactly
did that happen?

144
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,624
Well, the police say gravity,
but if...

145
00:09:10,658 --> 00:09:12,127
Just between us,
they didn't test well

146
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,627
- in the focus group.
- I see.

147
00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:15,363
- Particularly Cable.
- X-Force.

148
00:09:16,298 --> 00:09:17,332
Look, I can see
this isn't going well.

149
00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:18,835
Please stop writing.
Look, I... I...

150
00:09:18,867 --> 00:09:20,936
I'm just...
I wanna be an Avenger.

151
00:09:22,537 --> 00:09:24,339
I wanna be an Avenger.

152
00:09:26,074 --> 00:09:27,975
Why do you wanna be an Avenger?

153
00:09:28,008 --> 00:09:29,544
Look around you.
I mean, they're the...

154
00:09:29,578 --> 00:09:30,979
they're the best of the best.

155
00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:33,048
And... And what
they do matters.

156
00:09:33,081 --> 00:09:35,483
I need to be an Avenger.

157
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:37,953
Sir, my girl has kinda
had it with my shtick,

158
00:09:37,986 --> 00:09:39,287
and I... if I don't, you know,

159
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,123
turn things around and
do something with my gifts,

160
00:09:42,156 --> 00:09:43,891
I don't think it's gonna
really work out for me,

161
00:09:43,924 --> 00:09:45,327
and I wouldn't blame her.

162
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:50,765
Avengers are a very unique
group of superheroes

163
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:51,999
that stand for something

164
00:09:52,033 --> 00:09:54,668
more than just fighting
and wearing costumes.

165
00:09:54,702 --> 00:09:57,939
I mean, people look up to us.
Kids look up to us.

166
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,174
- They...
- I'm sorry. Us?

167
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,878
I wasn't aware
that you were an Avenger.

168
00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:02,943
Avengers-adjacent, technically.

169
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,345
What's your superpower?

170
00:10:04,378 --> 00:10:07,015
Is it parallel parking?
I am so sorry.

171
00:10:07,048 --> 00:10:08,350
That was cruel.

172
00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:10,785
I lash out when I'm nervous.
Won't happen again.

173
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,154
- Let's cut to the chase.
- Please.

174
00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:13,754
You just said moments ago

175
00:10:13,788 --> 00:10:16,123
that you wanted to be
an Avenger because

176
00:10:16,724 --> 00:10:18,293
you need it.

177
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,361
Yes, sir, I do.

178
00:10:19,394 --> 00:10:20,962
But the Avengers
don't do the job

179
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,430
because they need it.

180
00:10:22,463 --> 00:10:24,599
They do the job
because people need them.

181
00:10:25,766 --> 00:10:27,302
Do you see the distinction?

182
00:10:28,937 --> 00:10:30,505
Yes, sir.

183
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:32,908
Please, Mr. Hogan.

184
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:34,109
I don't wanna spend
the rest of my life

185
00:10:34,142 --> 00:10:36,343
like an annoying one-trick pony.

186
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:40,248
All right.

187
00:10:41,082 --> 00:10:42,852
Oh, my God, you're standing.

188
00:10:42,885 --> 00:10:44,385
Yeah, now's the time
that we stand.

189
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:45,252
Damn it.

190
00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:46,855
Now, the problem
might be that you're

191
00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:49,290
reaching a little...
little too high.

192
00:10:49,323 --> 00:10:51,893
Aim for the middle,
and you'll never miss.

193
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:53,093
Right?
I think you got a good heart.

194
00:10:53,127 --> 00:10:55,029
I believe what you're saying.

195
00:10:55,062 --> 00:10:56,664
But not everybody's
the world-saving type.

196
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,366
I'm not, and I'm happy.

197
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:00,701
Right? I found my place.

198
00:11:01,569 --> 00:11:02,971
Find your place.

199
00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:05,973
All right? Get back out there.

200
00:11:06,006 --> 00:11:07,574
- We'll keep an eye on you.
- Okay.

201
00:11:07,608 --> 00:11:08,610
Good luck.

202
00:11:12,346 --> 00:11:14,950
Fetch the car.
I wanna hit Shake Shack.

203
00:11:14,982 --> 00:11:16,517
Rejection makes me hungy.

204
00:11:17,518 --> 00:11:19,053
- No, no. Please.
- No?

205
00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:20,688
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Okay.

206
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:21,990
Okay, thank you.

207
00:11:23,926 --> 00:11:25,626
You know what they say.

208
00:11:25,659 --> 00:11:27,161
When one door closes,

209
00:11:28,195 --> 00:11:29,966
your locker at work opens.

210
00:11:39,774 --> 00:11:41,076
Now let's go sell some certified

211
00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:42,811
pre-owned vehicles, motherfu...

212
00:11:45,179 --> 00:11:48,349
Technically, the...
the Carnival's not a minivan.

213
00:11:49,518 --> 00:11:50,584
It's an MPV.

214
00:11:50,618 --> 00:11:53,153
So how does the Kia compare
to the Honda Odyssey?

215
00:11:53,187 --> 00:11:54,656
The Odyssey?
That's a great question.

216
00:11:54,689 --> 00:11:56,790
It doesn't fucking suck.

217
00:11:56,825 --> 00:11:59,327
You know, you can answer
the question without swearing.

218
00:11:59,361 --> 00:12:01,997
I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't...
I don't have kids.

219
00:12:02,029 --> 00:12:03,797
Not that I haven't
dreamt of that,

220
00:12:03,832 --> 00:12:06,067
but I don't have
a lot of vaginal sex.

221
00:12:09,236 --> 00:12:10,438
You'll get 'em next time, pal.

222
00:12:10,472 --> 00:12:11,539
- Yeah.
- And look,

223
00:12:11,572 --> 00:12:13,274
you can always go back
to superhero-ing.

224
00:12:13,307 --> 00:12:16,043
I mean, I know I'd like
to see you back in the suit.

225
00:12:16,076 --> 00:12:18,712
I don't keep it in my locker
so that I can wear it.

226
00:12:18,746 --> 00:12:21,383
I keep it in my locker in case
we need to saddle up again.

227
00:12:21,416 --> 00:12:24,585
Hey, hey, hey.
What is that doing in there?

228
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:25,719
I'm done.

229
00:12:27,488 --> 00:12:28,489
I'm done.

230
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,293
And I'm fine with being done.

231
00:12:31,326 --> 00:12:33,128
Look, is sales the best match?

232
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:34,595
Probably not.

233
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:38,399
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no.

234
00:12:38,432 --> 00:12:41,536
But this is the right fit
for me, Sugar Bear, it is.

235
00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:43,170
Okay, Mr. Wilson.

236
00:12:43,203 --> 00:12:44,906
I'm just saying, once a month,

237
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:47,008
we could go on a little mission.

238
00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:49,843
We're human beings.
We crave purpose.

239
00:12:49,877 --> 00:12:51,513
After all, we're Deadpool.

240
00:12:51,546 --> 00:12:54,149
Please stop saying that.
We're not Deadpool.

241
00:12:54,182 --> 00:12:56,450
I'm not even Deadpool anymore.

242
00:12:56,483 --> 00:12:59,353
Well, if you're gonna have
a midlife crisis, go big.

243
00:12:59,386 --> 00:13:01,322
A few years ago,
a friend of mine

244
00:13:01,355 --> 00:13:03,625
got his nipples pierced
with a titanium chain

245
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,928
that goes down and attaches
to his Van Johnson.

246
00:13:10,966 --> 00:13:12,969
Are... Are you feeling
grumplestiltskin

247
00:13:13,002 --> 00:13:14,435
'cause it's your birthday?

248
00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:17,204
What?

249
00:13:17,872 --> 00:13:18,873
No.

250
00:13:19,908 --> 00:13:21,109
No.

251
00:13:24,311 --> 00:13:26,314
Surprise!

252
00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,850
Hey, you guys are lucky
I'm not armed.

253
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:30,618
Get in here.

254
00:13:30,651 --> 00:13:33,055
If this were six years ago,
you'd all be dead.

255
00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:34,856
So then, he gets out of the cab,

256
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:36,025
and you will not believe it.

257
00:13:36,058 --> 00:13:38,026
I turn around,
and what do I find?

258
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:39,727
- AirPods. His AirPods.
- His AirPods!

259
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:40,962
- Come on.
- Crazy story.

260
00:13:40,996 --> 00:13:43,698
- Every time. Come on.
- Every single time.

261
00:13:45,766 --> 00:13:47,201
Make any sales today?

262
00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:48,636
You know I didn't.

263
00:13:48,669 --> 00:13:50,404
Did you sell
any dreamcatchers on Etsy

264
00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:52,073
or whatever it is that you do?

265
00:13:52,108 --> 00:13:53,774
Our rent's due
in three days, Wade.

266
00:13:53,807 --> 00:13:55,111
I can't keep carrying you.

267
00:13:55,143 --> 00:13:56,744
Relax. I have the money.

268
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:59,279
I sold some old
blood pressure medication

269
00:13:59,313 --> 00:14:00,581
I found lying around.

270
00:14:00,613 --> 00:14:02,250
You tryin' to kill me,
motherfucker?

271
00:14:02,283 --> 00:14:03,953
I'm not the one
dousing everything in salt,

272
00:14:03,986 --> 00:14:06,420
- motherfucker.
- I pray every day

273
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,456
that fire finds your body

274
00:14:08,489 --> 00:14:10,959
and finishes the job
God didn't have

275
00:14:10,992 --> 00:14:12,661
- the nuts to do.
- That's hurtful.

276
00:14:12,694 --> 00:14:14,162
If you could hear
the look on my face,

277
00:14:14,195 --> 00:14:15,729
you'd smell how sad I am.

278
00:14:15,763 --> 00:14:17,066
You watched anything good?

279
00:14:17,099 --> 00:14:18,867
Great British Bake Off.

280
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,234
Oh, goddamn.

281
00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:22,569
That show stood between me
and suicide for 10 years.

282
00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:25,272
Those are my feelings on
abortion, religious freedom,

283
00:14:25,305 --> 00:14:27,474
animal rights,
privacy rights, vaccines,

284
00:14:27,509 --> 00:14:29,710
free-market capitalism,
global climate change.

285
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,781
Yeah, duh-duh-duh.
No, no speaking lines, Buck.

286
00:14:32,815 --> 00:14:34,916
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade.

287
00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:37,451
Nice fake o'clock shadow.

288
00:14:37,484 --> 00:14:40,721
It's a summer balayage.
From the French.

289
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:44,291
It's meant to mimic the
natural highlights of the sun.

290
00:14:44,324 --> 00:14:46,226
- It's a toupee.
- It's a hair system.

291
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,596
I love your hair system, Wade.

292
00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:49,931
Thank you.

293
00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:51,397
Wanna do some cocaine?

294
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,536
Hey, cocaine is the one thing
that Feige said is off limits.

295
00:14:54,569 --> 00:14:56,371
What about
Bolivian marching powder?

296
00:14:56,404 --> 00:14:58,505
They know all the slang terms.
They have a list.

297
00:14:58,539 --> 00:15:00,374
- Even snowboarding?
- Even disco dust.

298
00:15:00,407 --> 00:15:01,442
White girl interrupted?

299
00:15:01,475 --> 00:15:03,044
- Even Forrest Bump.
- Booger sugar?

300
00:15:03,078 --> 00:15:04,312
I wouldn't even try
powdered gonuts.

301
00:15:04,345 --> 00:15:07,916
- Do you wanna build a snowman?
- Yes. But I can't.

302
00:15:09,516 --> 00:15:10,919
Pull here.

303
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,053
- Here?
- Yeah.

304
00:15:13,352 --> 00:15:14,857
- What happened?
- That's the fun part.

305
00:15:16,191 --> 00:15:17,524
Thanks for coming.

306
00:15:17,558 --> 00:15:18,659
Yeah.

307
00:15:18,692 --> 00:15:19,894
How's work?

308
00:15:19,928 --> 00:15:21,295
Oh, I got a promotion.

309
00:15:22,063 --> 00:15:23,430
No way.

310
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,567
Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle
management, but I'm happy.

311
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,668
That's great.

312
00:15:29,436 --> 00:15:30,905
- You seeing anyone?
- How about you?

313
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:33,876
Yeah.

314
00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:36,544
A guy from work. Dermot.

315
00:15:36,578 --> 00:15:37,778
Dermot.

316
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,214
- He's kind.
- Good.

317
00:15:39,247 --> 00:15:40,915
Likes to go hiking.

318
00:15:40,949 --> 00:15:42,382
Hasn't gotten me shot yet.

319
00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:44,752
Well, it's the early days.

320
00:15:48,622 --> 00:15:50,657
What about you?
You seeing anyone?

321
00:15:51,657 --> 00:15:53,359
No, no, I live
in a one-bedroom apartment.

322
00:15:53,392 --> 00:15:54,930
I share a bed with Blind Al.

323
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,399
Okay.

324
00:15:58,433 --> 00:15:59,868
- All right.
- All right.

325
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:04,906
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

326
00:16:04,939 --> 00:16:06,473
- Speech! Speech!
- Yes!

327
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,542
All right.
Okay, okay, okay...

328
00:16:09,309 --> 00:16:10,410
Birthdays.

329
00:16:10,444 --> 00:16:12,180
Boy, every spin around the moon

330
00:16:12,213 --> 00:16:13,280
is a new adventure indeed.

331
00:16:13,313 --> 00:16:15,549
- Sun, dumbass.
- Okay, round-earther.

332
00:16:16,886 --> 00:16:19,020
- Where was I?
- The adventure of life.

333
00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:20,155
Right...

334
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,422
It's been
a challenging few years.

335
00:16:22,456 --> 00:16:23,791
Haven't seen you guys
in a while.

336
00:16:23,825 --> 00:16:26,195
Been through a lot,
change of life.

337
00:16:26,228 --> 00:16:28,264
- Menopause?
- Bitch, are you improv-ing?

338
00:16:28,295 --> 00:16:30,697
Sorry.

339
00:16:30,731 --> 00:16:32,233
I'm sorry that
you had to see that, Yukio.

340
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,334
- It's okay.
- Yeah.

341
00:16:35,435 --> 00:16:37,205
But I'm happy.

342
00:16:37,238 --> 00:16:38,540
You know, and that's... that's

343
00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:41,675
because of each
and every one of you.

344
00:16:41,708 --> 00:16:43,377
I guess,
what I'm trying to say is

345
00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,012
how proud I am,
how grateful I am

346
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,347
to be standing in a room

347
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:49,616
with every single person I love.

348
00:16:54,587 --> 00:16:56,490
I'm the luckiest man alive.

349
00:16:58,893 --> 00:16:59,793
Make a wish, buddy.

350
00:16:59,828 --> 00:17:02,696
Ten-four, good buddy.

351
00:17:02,729 --> 00:17:03,832
Going down.

352
00:17:10,105 --> 00:17:11,139
Wade Wilson?

353
00:17:11,172 --> 00:17:12,573
Oh, yeah. Dancers.

354
00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:14,474
Dopinder must have ordered you.

355
00:17:14,508 --> 00:17:16,212
Are those supposed
to be cop costumes?

356
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:17,744
Never mind.

357
00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:20,114
Take your clothes off
but leave the helmets.

358
00:17:20,148 --> 00:17:21,448
And this isn't Pretty Woman.

359
00:17:22,217 --> 00:17:23,550
We're kissing. All right?

360
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,485
What song do you guys
normally dance to?

361
00:17:29,723 --> 00:17:31,059
Is that supposed to be scary?

362
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,061
Pegging isn't new for me,
friendo.

363
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,595
But it is for Disney.

364
00:17:36,396 --> 00:17:38,266
Okay, I've never been
a natural bottom,

365
00:17:38,299 --> 00:17:40,268
so we're gonna
take things real slow.

366
00:17:40,301 --> 00:17:42,237
And I want some
crazy eye contact.

367
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,737
Not you. You.

368
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,706
Can't see your eyes through
the mask, but I can feel them.

369
00:17:45,739 --> 00:17:47,408
We're gonna move on
down the hallway

370
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,410
so we can spare a cleanup
on aisle asshole.

371
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:50,879
How's everyone feel
about this plan?

372
00:17:50,912 --> 00:17:51,813
I don't like you.

373
00:17:51,846 --> 00:17:54,081
Yes. Let's hold on
to that attitude.

374
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,883
And we're gonna do it angry.

375
00:18:14,002 --> 00:18:15,136
Mr. Wilson...

376
00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:19,874
you appear to have soiled
yourself while unconscious.

377
00:18:19,908 --> 00:18:22,542
I wasn't unconscious.
Who are you?

378
00:18:22,576 --> 00:18:24,510
I go by the name of Paradox.

379
00:18:24,543 --> 00:18:28,182
Mr. Paradox. And you're
sitting here at the TVA.

380
00:18:28,216 --> 00:18:30,318
The Time Variance Authority.

381
00:18:30,351 --> 00:18:32,619
We're really
a watchdog organization,

382
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,323
except we're more lighthearted
than that sounds,

383
00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:38,759
with a sort of
throwback, ironic twist.

384
00:18:38,792 --> 00:18:40,395
And we're in charge of defending

385
00:18:40,427 --> 00:18:43,064
what's known
as the Sacred Timeline.

386
00:18:43,097 --> 00:18:46,465
Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton
of exposition for a threequel.

387
00:18:46,499 --> 00:18:48,468
Is this because
I used Cable's time machine?

388
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,305
Brought a couple of people
back to life,

389
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,406
then I destroyed it.

390
00:18:51,438 --> 00:18:52,840
- That was a long time ago.
- Yes,

391
00:18:52,874 --> 00:18:55,609
we're aware of your abuse
of your timeline.

392
00:18:55,642 --> 00:18:58,380
And you were
so abusive of it.

393
00:18:58,414 --> 00:19:00,882
No, it has nothing
to do with that.

394
00:19:00,915 --> 00:19:01,983
Walk with me.

395
00:19:07,754 --> 00:19:10,490
I brought you here,
Mr. Wilson, to tell you

396
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,626
that you're special.

397
00:19:12,659 --> 00:19:15,595
In fact, you've been chosen
for a higher purpose,

398
00:19:15,629 --> 00:19:17,965
a purpose unclear even to me.

399
00:19:17,998 --> 00:19:19,934
But one that could

400
00:19:19,968 --> 00:19:23,004
save the entire Sacred Timeline

401
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:25,738
from a possibly grisly fate
sometime in the future,

402
00:19:25,771 --> 00:19:28,408
which may very well
need to be...

403
00:19:28,442 --> 00:19:30,278
avenged.

404
00:19:30,311 --> 00:19:32,013
This Sacred Timeline,

405
00:19:33,081 --> 00:19:35,016
I assume I'm going to marvel

406
00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:36,650
at how

407
00:19:37,184 --> 00:19:39,019
cinematic it feels?

408
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:40,922
Gratuitous cameos,

409
00:19:40,955 --> 00:19:43,124
indiscriminate use of
Variants, the whole package?

410
00:19:43,157 --> 00:19:45,159
Well, you tell me.

411
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:53,167
Cap!

412
00:20:00,274 --> 00:20:02,776
You are no longer lost, Wade.

413
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,779
You can be a hero among heroes.

414
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:07,981
We've been surveilling you
for quite a while.

415
00:20:08,016 --> 00:20:11,086
- Subway station.
- A TVA outpost, yes.

416
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,553
And what is that?

417
00:20:16,390 --> 00:20:17,892
Is that me? Is that Thor?

418
00:20:19,292 --> 00:20:21,162
- Is he crying?
- Let's not

419
00:20:21,195 --> 00:20:22,529
get ahead of ourselves.

420
00:20:22,562 --> 00:20:23,831
That happens
in the distant future.

421
00:20:23,865 --> 00:20:25,732
Why is Thor crying?
Quick! Tell me.

422
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,235
Do not speak to her.
Stop that. Eyes on me.

423
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,668
I brought you here
to offer you an opportunity.

424
00:20:29,702 --> 00:20:31,671
The opportunity
you sought years ago,

425
00:20:31,705 --> 00:20:33,274
but for which
you were not ready.

426
00:20:33,307 --> 00:20:34,842
We believe you're ready now.

427
00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:36,944
Ready for a chance
to leave your timeline

428
00:20:36,978 --> 00:20:39,279
and join the greatest
universe of all.

429
00:20:39,312 --> 00:20:41,315
I am about to give you the
thing you've always wanted.

430
00:20:41,349 --> 00:20:42,884
Oh, I smell
what you're steppin' in.

431
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:44,385
The power in the Marvel Universe

432
00:20:44,419 --> 00:20:45,652
is about to change forever.

433
00:20:47,754 --> 00:20:49,490
I am the Messiah...

434
00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:53,660
I am...

435
00:20:54,828 --> 00:20:56,330
Marvel Jesus.

436
00:20:57,663 --> 00:20:59,266
Can you excuse me
for just a moment?

437
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,801
I'm just gonna go over here.

438
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,372
Suck it, Fox!

439
00:21:05,406 --> 00:21:06,673
I'm going to Disneyland.

440
00:21:06,706 --> 00:21:08,175
Get fucked!

441
00:21:11,678 --> 00:21:12,712
Where do I sign?

442
00:21:12,746 --> 00:21:13,848
Oh, there's no need
for paperwork.

443
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:16,250
Good. Not to brag,
but I do not read.

444
00:21:17,185 --> 00:21:19,319
There is one thing
I will need though.

445
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:26,094
Oh, fuck off!

446
00:21:26,127 --> 00:21:28,095
Adorn me, Beardo.

447
00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:50,117
Fuckin' A!

448
00:21:50,150 --> 00:21:52,287
It's perfect! FYI,

449
00:21:52,321 --> 00:21:55,590
your tailor is a predator,
but I love it. Snug.

450
00:21:55,622 --> 00:21:56,756
No camel toe.

451
00:21:56,790 --> 00:22:00,393
New car smell
and adamantium katanas?

452
00:22:00,427 --> 00:22:02,229
You shouldn't have.

453
00:22:02,263 --> 00:22:04,165
Go ahead. Take it in.

454
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:06,934
And yes, your underwear
is getting tighter.

455
00:22:06,968 --> 00:22:08,735
That guy knows
what I'm talking about.

456
00:22:08,768 --> 00:22:10,471
His clothes says
middle management,

457
00:22:10,505 --> 00:22:13,174
but his eyes say fuck-y fuck-y.

458
00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,143
Yes. You look very nice.

459
00:22:15,176 --> 00:22:16,244
Nice?

460
00:22:16,277 --> 00:22:18,312
Your buddy here is ready
to throw it all away for me.

461
00:22:18,346 --> 00:22:19,613
- You callin' your wife?
- HR.

462
00:22:19,645 --> 00:22:21,048
Does your wife
work in HR?

463
00:22:21,082 --> 00:22:23,451
I'm really glad
you're taking this so well.

464
00:22:23,484 --> 00:22:25,186
Oh, I'm taking it well.

465
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:27,754
I have never had a problem
traveling for work.

466
00:22:27,787 --> 00:22:29,924
That said,
we should talk vacation days.

467
00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:32,560
I'm more of a one-week-on
one-week-off kind of guy.

468
00:22:32,593 --> 00:22:34,028
I think it's what they do
in Denmark.

469
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,830
You know, you'll never see
a Danish flag on the moon,

470
00:22:35,863 --> 00:22:37,797
but goddamn it,
they're happy.

471
00:22:37,832 --> 00:22:40,534
Now, let's power up your
little Amazon Fire phone there

472
00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:42,036
and zip me back home

473
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,038
so I can let my friends know
that they've been upgraded

474
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,106
to disciples.

475
00:22:45,139 --> 00:22:48,176
Yeah. I don't think you...
quite understand.

476
00:22:48,209 --> 00:22:50,912
You will not be returning
to your home

477
00:22:50,945 --> 00:22:53,414
because there will be
no home to return to.

478
00:22:53,447 --> 00:22:54,483
Come again?

479
00:22:54,515 --> 00:22:55,749
This time in my ears.

480
00:22:59,853 --> 00:23:02,989
This is your universe,
Mr. Wilson.

481
00:23:03,490 --> 00:23:04,791
That

482
00:23:04,825 --> 00:23:06,792
is what happens when a universe

483
00:23:06,826 --> 00:23:08,996
loses their Anchor Being.

484
00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,198
See how it decays
from the inside?

485
00:23:11,231 --> 00:23:14,068
- This is how a reality dies.
- What's an Anchor Being?

486
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,504
An Anchor Being is an entity
of such vital importance

487
00:23:16,537 --> 00:23:17,737
that when they die,

488
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:21,107
their whole world slowly
withers out of existence.

489
00:23:21,141 --> 00:23:23,977
You've just won the lottery
because I didn't die.

490
00:23:24,010 --> 00:23:25,846
It was just a little midlife
crisis. I'm better now.

491
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,249
Oh, no, no, no.

492
00:23:32,086 --> 00:23:34,889
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, I love to laugh.

493
00:23:34,922 --> 00:23:37,625
Can you imagine
if you were the Anchor Being?

494
00:23:37,658 --> 00:23:39,759
Yeah.

495
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:42,330
- Yeah.
- No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson.

496
00:23:42,996 --> 00:23:44,464
Your Anchor Being died

497
00:23:44,498 --> 00:23:47,734
in an act
of self-sacrifice so epic

498
00:23:47,767 --> 00:23:50,137
that it sent shivers
down the Timeline.

499
00:23:50,171 --> 00:23:53,240
I am referring, of course, to...

500
00:23:54,574 --> 00:23:58,345
Logan. The Wolverine.

501
00:24:01,781 --> 00:24:04,251
Don't be
what they made you.

502
00:24:14,194 --> 00:24:16,897
Ah, so this is
what it feels like...

503
00:24:18,565 --> 00:24:19,766
Logan.

504
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:21,502
Of course.

505
00:24:22,168 --> 00:24:23,169
Logan.

506
00:24:25,906 --> 00:24:27,441
Logan?

507
00:24:27,475 --> 00:24:29,443
The guy with forks for hands?

508
00:24:29,477 --> 00:24:32,046
That Wolverine?

509
00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:33,880
Yeah, I got it.
You can turn your

510
00:24:33,914 --> 00:24:36,217
retro graphics of death
off now. Make it stop.

511
00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:37,752
We're not doing it,
Mr. Wilson.

512
00:24:37,784 --> 00:24:39,020
We certainly can't stop it.

513
00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,122
How long have we got?

514
00:24:42,155 --> 00:24:44,824
In most cases,
couple thousand years.

515
00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:46,127
- Well, sweet.
- Well, most cases

516
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,596
aren't fast enough.
Not for me.

517
00:24:48,629 --> 00:24:49,730
What does that mean?

518
00:24:49,764 --> 00:24:51,931
It means that I have been tasked

519
00:24:51,965 --> 00:24:54,401
with overseeing
the end of your universe.

520
00:24:54,434 --> 00:24:55,368
And regardless of what

521
00:24:55,402 --> 00:24:57,305
the pencil pushers upstairs
would prefer,

522
00:24:57,338 --> 00:24:58,572
I will not

523
00:24:58,605 --> 00:25:02,142
waste my life watching it die
slowly of natural causes.

524
00:25:02,175 --> 00:25:04,311
We used to just prune
these things. Simple.

525
00:25:04,344 --> 00:25:06,314
Elegant. Efficient.
But I'm told the TVA

526
00:25:06,347 --> 00:25:08,849
doesn't like to do that
anymore. Well, I do.

527
00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:10,685
And no matter what
my so-called superiors say,

528
00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:13,321
the multiverse does not
need a babysitter.

529
00:25:13,354 --> 00:25:15,021
We need a mercy killer.

530
00:25:15,056 --> 00:25:16,757
And in this instance,

531
00:25:16,791 --> 00:25:20,061
I am the mercy killer.

532
00:25:24,364 --> 00:25:26,232
What in the MacGuffin is that?

533
00:25:26,266 --> 00:25:28,602
That's a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson.

534
00:25:28,636 --> 00:25:30,270
An accelerant.

535
00:25:30,303 --> 00:25:33,006
Once completed,
it will allow me to destroy

536
00:25:33,039 --> 00:25:35,075
the spacetime matrix
of your universe.

537
00:25:35,108 --> 00:25:37,411
You see, I don't want
to work for the TVA.

538
00:25:37,445 --> 00:25:39,313
I want to be the TVA.

539
00:25:39,347 --> 00:25:42,083
And the first step involves
showing this organization

540
00:25:42,116 --> 00:25:43,984
how much more efficient
it can become.

541
00:25:44,018 --> 00:25:45,852
To wit, I will be
giving your universe

542
00:25:45,885 --> 00:25:48,421
a swift and compassionate end.

543
00:25:48,455 --> 00:25:50,057
And don't worry, your friends
won't feel a thing.

544
00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:52,859
It'll be over just like this.
Oh, what's that?

545
00:25:53,461 --> 00:25:54,527
Trust me.

546
00:26:07,107 --> 00:26:09,542
You're gonna Old Yeller
my fucking universe?

547
00:26:09,577 --> 00:26:11,779
In your parlance, yes.

548
00:26:11,813 --> 00:26:13,213
Two in the heart,
one in the head.

549
00:26:13,246 --> 00:26:15,316
Look, Mr. Wilson,
you have two choices.

550
00:26:15,349 --> 00:26:16,851
You can either rejoin
your loved ones

551
00:26:16,883 --> 00:26:18,753
and collectively cease
to exist in,

552
00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:21,822
I'd say, 72 hours. Or...

553
00:26:21,856 --> 00:26:24,391
you join the Sacred Timeline.

554
00:26:24,424 --> 00:26:26,828
And you end your days
of insignificance

555
00:26:26,861 --> 00:26:29,096
and mediocrity.

556
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,698
Wade.

557
00:26:30,731 --> 00:26:32,600
Wade, you can finally,

558
00:26:32,633 --> 00:26:35,168
finally matter.

559
00:26:44,778 --> 00:26:46,914
That's all
I've ever really wanted.

560
00:26:46,947 --> 00:26:48,348
I know.

561
00:26:48,850 --> 00:26:50,785
I know.

562
00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:52,987
And you know I'm...
I'm nothing if not

563
00:26:53,020 --> 00:26:54,421
morally flexible.

564
00:26:56,790 --> 00:26:57,991
Yep, yep.

565
00:27:00,027 --> 00:27:01,262
I'll do it.

566
00:27:01,295 --> 00:27:02,196
Wise choice.

567
00:27:02,229 --> 00:27:04,063
The Sacred Timeline's happy
to have you.

568
00:27:04,098 --> 00:27:05,266
I was actually
talking about finding

569
00:27:05,299 --> 00:27:07,133
the Wolverine and breaking
your fucking nose.

570
00:27:20,816 --> 00:27:23,183
Find him. Find him!

571
00:27:23,217 --> 00:27:25,219
And boy, did he ever.

572
00:27:26,921 --> 00:27:28,455
Which brings us back to this.

573
00:27:30,391 --> 00:27:32,692
The desecration
of the sacred corpse.

574
00:27:36,831 --> 00:27:38,531
Oh, my God!

575
00:27:39,532 --> 00:27:42,570
My own fucking arm!

576
00:27:45,605 --> 00:27:47,208
Now we're talkin'!

577
00:27:47,241 --> 00:27:48,741
Not like this!

578
00:27:48,775 --> 00:27:50,945
No, dear God! No!

579
00:27:50,978 --> 00:27:53,113
I'm sorry!
Wolverine-ing is hard!

580
00:27:53,147 --> 00:27:54,547
Make it stop!

581
00:27:54,581 --> 00:27:55,783
Mangold tried.

582
00:27:58,585 --> 00:28:00,654
You sick fuck!

583
00:28:00,688 --> 00:28:02,056
Logan was a hero.

584
00:28:02,089 --> 00:28:03,657
And the only thing worth a shit

585
00:28:03,691 --> 00:28:05,091
to ever come out of Canada.

586
00:28:12,867 --> 00:28:15,069
Get my country's name

587
00:28:15,102 --> 00:28:17,303
out of your fuckin' mouth.

588
00:28:18,204 --> 00:28:20,073
And my sword. Give me that.

589
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:25,679
Oh, I gotta find me
another Logan.

590
00:28:26,112 --> 00:28:27,447
An alive one.

591
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,450
Don't get up, guys.
I'll see myself out.

592
00:28:37,423 --> 00:28:38,424
Logan!

593
00:28:41,963 --> 00:28:43,764
I'm gonna need you
to come with me.

594
00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:46,099
Who's asking?

595
00:28:48,234 --> 00:28:50,168
Oh, look at
this little Hairy Lou Retton.

596
00:28:50,202 --> 00:28:52,071
Did you stick the landing,
little guy?

597
00:28:52,606 --> 00:28:53,641
Yes, you did!

598
00:28:53,673 --> 00:28:55,342
Comic-accurate short king.

599
00:28:55,376 --> 00:28:57,777
Such a cute wittle Wolvie.

600
00:28:57,811 --> 00:28:59,445
Cue the fuckin' montage, baby.

601
00:28:59,479 --> 00:29:01,180
Ahoy!

602
00:29:01,214 --> 00:29:03,483
Everything seems to be on fire.

603
00:29:03,516 --> 00:29:05,151
You have a dragon?

604
00:29:05,184 --> 00:29:07,754
Ooh, you have Anchor Being
written all over...

605
00:29:17,597 --> 00:29:18,631
Patch!

606
00:29:18,665 --> 00:29:21,836
Oh, now we're talkin'.

607
00:29:22,535 --> 00:29:24,238
Oh, yeah.

608
00:29:24,270 --> 00:29:26,406
That's the whole goddamn
package right there.

609
00:29:27,407 --> 00:29:28,341
Howdy!

610
00:29:28,374 --> 00:29:31,110
I'm just... I'm auditioning
Anchor Beings.

611
00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:33,781
Yeah, that's gonna need
some coconut oil.

612
00:29:38,085 --> 00:29:40,253
What in the fuck?

613
00:29:40,286 --> 00:29:42,088
Are you okay?

614
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,424
Oh, yes, yes.

615
00:29:43,457 --> 00:29:45,425
Classic John Byrne
brown and tan.

616
00:29:45,458 --> 00:29:47,427
Now, you fought the Hulk
in this outfit. No?

617
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:52,098
I'm Marvel Jesus,
you dull creature,

618
00:29:52,131 --> 00:29:53,299
and I will not...

619
00:30:02,810 --> 00:30:05,645
It's not you. We're just going
in a different direction.

620
00:30:08,882 --> 00:30:09,917
You know, from behind,

621
00:30:09,950 --> 00:30:11,085
you look a little bit
like Henry...

622
00:30:11,117 --> 00:30:12,518
Oh, my fuck!

623
00:30:12,552 --> 00:30:15,823
The Cavillrine.
The legends are true.

624
00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:18,859
And may I say, sir,
on behalf of all humanity,

625
00:30:18,892 --> 00:30:20,861
this just feels right.

626
00:30:20,894 --> 00:30:22,428
We will treat you so much better

627
00:30:22,462 --> 00:30:23,763
than those shit fucks
down the street.

628
00:30:23,796 --> 00:30:26,067
- You were just leavin'.
- No, sir.

629
00:30:26,101 --> 00:30:27,600
Not while the fate
of my universe is at...

630
00:30:32,305 --> 00:30:33,842
This one looks promising.

631
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,174
Down you go.

632
00:30:36,610 --> 00:30:37,611
Again.

633
00:30:38,445 --> 00:30:40,713
I told you.
You're not welcome here.

634
00:30:40,747 --> 00:30:42,181
You're not welcome anywhere.

635
00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:43,483
Now get the fuck out of my bar.

636
00:30:43,516 --> 00:30:46,186
Just give me one more drink
and then I'll leave.

637
00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:48,023
That's not how it works.

638
00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:50,256
It does now.
Leave the bottle.

639
00:30:50,289 --> 00:30:51,357
I know you, bub?

640
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:53,962
Nope. But I know you.

641
00:30:53,995 --> 00:30:55,495
Everybody knows me.

642
00:30:56,964 --> 00:30:58,098
I'm the Wolverine.

643
00:30:58,132 --> 00:31:00,500
Yes, you are.

644
00:31:00,533 --> 00:31:02,635
And I'm gonna need you
to come with me right now.

645
00:31:03,970 --> 00:31:05,372
Look, lady, I'm not interested.

646
00:31:05,406 --> 00:31:06,806
Really gettin'
into your cups here.

647
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,374
Why would I go with you?

648
00:31:09,342 --> 00:31:11,210
Because, unfortunately,

649
00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:12,578
I need you,

650
00:31:12,611 --> 00:31:16,684
and even more unfortunately,
my entire world needs you.

651
00:31:17,350 --> 00:31:18,919
You two gonna fuck or fight?

652
00:31:22,890 --> 00:31:24,323
You gonna take that from him?

653
00:31:24,357 --> 00:31:25,893
Yep.

654
00:31:25,926 --> 00:31:28,062
I can tell you have a sort
of don't-get-too-close

655
00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:29,897
I'll-only-break-your-heart
vibe going here,

656
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:30,964
but every other Wolverine

657
00:31:30,998 --> 00:31:32,298
would've really hurt me by now.

658
00:31:32,331 --> 00:31:33,533
And I'm sort of
on the tick-tick.

659
00:31:33,566 --> 00:31:35,036
So, upsy-daisy. Here we go.

660
00:31:35,070 --> 00:31:36,104
- Up you go.
- Hey, hey!

661
00:31:36,137 --> 00:31:37,336
I got you, big guy.

662
00:31:41,075 --> 00:31:42,275
Whiskey dick of the claws.

663
00:31:42,308 --> 00:31:43,844
It's quite common
in Wolverines over 40.

664
00:31:43,877 --> 00:31:44,845
You don't want this.

665
00:31:44,878 --> 00:31:47,548
You're right. I don't.
And you don't want this.

666
00:31:47,580 --> 00:31:49,150
Unless you wanna
take a deep breath

667
00:31:49,184 --> 00:31:50,383
through your fuckin' forehead,

668
00:31:50,416 --> 00:31:52,618
I suggest you reconsider.

669
00:31:52,652 --> 00:31:53,719
Let's go, peanut.

670
00:31:58,158 --> 00:32:00,226
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

671
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:01,761
Watch this.

672
00:32:02,762 --> 00:32:04,797
All right. That...

673
00:32:05,198 --> 00:32:06,400
Easy.

674
00:32:09,937 --> 00:32:11,471
Good God.

675
00:32:11,504 --> 00:32:13,506
Thirsty little honey badger,
aren't ya?

676
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,177
It's okay. Keep goin'.

677
00:32:16,211 --> 00:32:18,277
Audiences are accustomed
to long run times.

678
00:32:23,649 --> 00:32:26,019
Guess you'll have to do.

679
00:32:26,053 --> 00:32:27,253
Okay, here we...

680
00:32:28,222 --> 00:32:31,158
Look at those jammies.

681
00:32:31,191 --> 00:32:34,560
That only took 20 fucking years.

682
00:32:34,594 --> 00:32:36,830
One Anchor Being
coming right up!

683
00:32:36,864 --> 00:32:39,133
On your left, baby girl.

684
00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:40,266
This Logan has the same

685
00:32:40,299 --> 00:32:42,535
he-can-do-anything
even-musicals look.

686
00:32:42,568 --> 00:32:44,637
And bonus, he's actually
wearing a costume

687
00:32:44,670 --> 00:32:45,906
like he's not embarrassed to be

688
00:32:45,939 --> 00:32:47,306
in a superhero movie for once.

689
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:48,976
I don't understand.

690
00:32:49,009 --> 00:32:50,210
You said my universe is dying

691
00:32:50,244 --> 00:32:52,678
because this sack of nuts
got himself killed.

692
00:32:52,712 --> 00:32:55,348
- Well, problem solved.
- My God.

693
00:32:55,381 --> 00:32:59,786
You actually think you can
replace an Anchor Being

694
00:32:59,820 --> 00:33:01,788
with this?

695
00:33:01,823 --> 00:33:04,390
I wouldn't have accepted
any other Wolverine, BT dubs.

696
00:33:04,423 --> 00:33:06,424
But you have outdone yourself

697
00:33:06,458 --> 00:33:08,662
and brought me
the worst Wolverine!

698
00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:09,930
What do you mean, the worst one?

699
00:33:09,963 --> 00:33:11,431
Mr. Wilson.

700
00:33:11,464 --> 00:33:15,434
This Wolverine let down
his entire world.

701
00:33:15,468 --> 00:33:17,838
He's the stuff of legend,
but not in a good way.

702
00:33:17,871 --> 00:33:19,107
And what he did,

703
00:33:19,140 --> 00:33:20,506
well,

704
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,842
some things are just
beyond forgiveness.

705
00:33:25,145 --> 00:33:26,478
Okay.

706
00:33:26,511 --> 00:33:29,415
How do I... How do I make
this right? I'll do anything.

707
00:33:29,448 --> 00:33:32,417
I gave you
a chance at greatness.

708
00:33:32,451 --> 00:33:35,054
Because my superiors
deemed you special.

709
00:33:35,087 --> 00:33:36,556
Clearly not special
in a good way.

710
00:33:36,589 --> 00:33:37,624
Apparently you have some

711
00:33:37,658 --> 00:33:39,827
important future purpose
to serve.

712
00:33:39,860 --> 00:33:40,961
With Thor. He holds me.

713
00:33:40,994 --> 00:33:42,795
But I did my duty.

714
00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:44,865
I gave you the opportunity
to be somebody.

715
00:33:44,898 --> 00:33:46,867
And instead of
accepting my offering

716
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:49,368
with humility and gratitude,
you broke my nose.

717
00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:50,436
It looks great.

718
00:33:50,469 --> 00:33:52,405
And you decimated
dozens of my men

719
00:33:52,438 --> 00:33:54,041
with the exhumed corpse
of a hero.

720
00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:56,409
Dishonoring not only
his remains but his memory.

721
00:33:56,442 --> 00:33:57,777
What are you, the Internet?

722
00:33:57,811 --> 00:34:00,047
Your world is dying!

723
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,447
Thank you very much.

724
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:02,782
And there's no stopping it.

725
00:34:04,817 --> 00:34:06,518
The humane thing to do

726
00:34:06,551 --> 00:34:07,619
is to make it quick.

727
00:34:07,652 --> 00:34:09,555
Is the thought
of vaporizing my universe

728
00:34:09,589 --> 00:34:10,859
making you peckish?

729
00:34:10,891 --> 00:34:12,025
I'm eating my feelings.

730
00:34:12,059 --> 00:34:13,659
I'm about to lose everything
that I've ever cared about

731
00:34:13,693 --> 00:34:16,864
because that hairy thundercunt
from down undercunt

732
00:34:16,897 --> 00:34:17,831
finally dies,

733
00:34:17,864 --> 00:34:20,467
and he's standing
right behind me, isn't he?

734
00:34:20,499 --> 00:34:22,468
Welcome to the MCU, by the way.

735
00:34:22,501 --> 00:34:24,670
You're joining at a bit
of a low point.

736
00:34:24,704 --> 00:34:26,738
As for you,
I wanna talk to your boss.

737
00:34:26,771 --> 00:34:28,175
I want you to get him
on the phone

738
00:34:28,208 --> 00:34:30,210
and you tell him, her, or them,

739
00:34:30,244 --> 00:34:32,545
that Marvel H. Christ
isn't playing.

740
00:34:37,851 --> 00:34:38,852
Holy shit.

741
00:34:39,519 --> 00:34:41,454
I just heard a symphony

742
00:34:41,487 --> 00:34:43,422
of buttholes clenching
all at once.

743
00:34:43,456 --> 00:34:44,590
You're off grid.

744
00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:46,025
Your bosses don't know
what you sick fucks

745
00:34:46,058 --> 00:34:47,094
are doing down here.

746
00:34:47,127 --> 00:34:48,295
Well, I'll tell you what.

747
00:34:48,328 --> 00:34:50,264
I have a black belt in Karen...

748
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:51,597
And I'm gonna go upstairs

749
00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:53,967
and I'm gonna tell 'em
all about you and your...

750
00:34:54,734 --> 00:34:56,534
Oh, silence is nice, isn't it?

751
00:34:56,568 --> 00:34:57,670
Where the fuck did he go?

752
00:34:57,703 --> 00:34:59,673
To the trash heap.
You'll fit right in.

753
00:35:02,675 --> 00:35:04,144
That was close.

754
00:35:24,965 --> 00:35:27,533
Don't just stand there,
you ape.

755
00:35:27,566 --> 00:35:29,601
Give me a hand up.

756
00:35:29,634 --> 00:35:31,537
Nope. I'm actually okay.

757
00:35:31,570 --> 00:35:33,739
Thank you very much.

758
00:35:34,773 --> 00:35:35,943
Where the hell are we?

759
00:35:35,976 --> 00:35:38,411
I don't know.
Looks kind of Mad Max-y.

760
00:35:38,443 --> 00:35:40,446
But that would be
IP infringement, right?

761
00:35:40,479 --> 00:35:41,715
Fucking jokes.

762
00:35:45,218 --> 00:35:46,619
Fuck! Fuck.

763
00:35:46,652 --> 00:35:48,120
Were you even listening
back there?

764
00:35:48,154 --> 00:35:51,125
If we don't make it back
to that Mr. Paradox asshole,

765
00:35:51,159 --> 00:35:52,491
everyone I know is gonna die.

766
00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:54,361
Not my fuckin' problem.

767
00:35:54,394 --> 00:35:56,562
Oh, is that all you got?

768
00:35:56,595 --> 00:35:58,798
Is that what you said
when your world went to shit?

769
00:35:59,631 --> 00:36:02,035
Come again?

770
00:36:02,069 --> 00:36:04,071
Yeah, I heard all about you.

771
00:36:04,104 --> 00:36:06,173
How you screwed up everything.

772
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:07,340
You should be thankin' me

773
00:36:07,373 --> 00:36:09,041
for pulling you out
of that bed you shit in.

774
00:36:09,075 --> 00:36:11,346
You back-stabbing
son of a bitch!

775
00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:18,717
Are you ready to be calm now?

776
00:36:25,859 --> 00:36:28,227
Rest in pieces, Fox.

777
00:36:43,043 --> 00:36:44,845
I don't want to fight you,
peanut.

778
00:36:45,812 --> 00:36:47,580
Doesn't matter what you did.

779
00:36:47,613 --> 00:36:49,281
I just need your help.

780
00:36:50,549 --> 00:36:52,219
I don't fuckin' care.

781
00:37:00,826 --> 00:37:03,529
Fuck. This is gonna hurt.

782
00:37:07,466 --> 00:37:08,935
All right.

783
00:37:09,201 --> 00:37:10,770
Fuck it.

784
00:37:10,803 --> 00:37:12,705
Let's give the people
what they came for.

785
00:37:12,738 --> 00:37:15,541
Let's fuckin' go.

786
00:37:16,476 --> 00:37:18,577
Get your special sock out,
nerds.

787
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:20,678
It's gonna get good.

788
00:38:13,533 --> 00:38:14,868
Gotcha!

789
00:38:21,207 --> 00:38:22,774
Baby Knife!

790
00:38:26,546 --> 00:38:27,680
Let's see you grow

791
00:38:27,713 --> 00:38:28,881
your fuckin' head back.

792
00:38:28,914 --> 00:38:30,816
Wait, wait, wait!
I can fix it! I can fix it.

793
00:38:30,851 --> 00:38:32,986
- Fix what?
- Whatever it is that you did.

794
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:35,222
Whatever made you so bad.

795
00:38:35,621 --> 00:38:37,023
Those... Those

796
00:38:37,057 --> 00:38:39,658
pricks in the TVA.
You heard him.

797
00:38:40,659 --> 00:38:41,894
They have the power
to end my universe,

798
00:38:41,927 --> 00:38:45,265
but they also have
the power to change yours.

799
00:38:46,833 --> 00:38:50,070
We get back there,
and we can fix your world.

800
00:38:50,103 --> 00:38:51,271
Together.

801
00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:53,806
I promise.

802
00:38:55,208 --> 00:38:56,409
They can fix it.

803
00:38:57,510 --> 00:38:58,812
Hey!

804
00:38:58,845 --> 00:39:00,947
We fight each other, we lose.

805
00:39:00,981 --> 00:39:02,381
Dear God, it's him.

806
00:39:02,415 --> 00:39:04,783
- Who?
- The one.

807
00:39:04,818 --> 00:39:07,720
The superhero equivalent
to comfort food, or Molly.

808
00:39:07,753 --> 00:39:10,390
White guys' answer
to all the disappointments.

809
00:39:10,423 --> 00:39:11,723
And another A-lister.

810
00:39:11,756 --> 00:39:13,160
Fair warning, gorgeous.

811
00:39:13,193 --> 00:39:15,262
You're going to encounter
some indelicate language,

812
00:39:15,295 --> 00:39:17,831
a smidge of ass play,
but we've been prohibited

813
00:39:17,864 --> 00:39:19,732
from using cocaine...
on camera.

814
00:39:19,765 --> 00:39:22,001
- They're coming.
- Who's they?

815
00:39:28,674 --> 00:39:30,210
Oh, they're driving angry.

816
00:39:36,049 --> 00:39:37,918
Now that's a superhero landing.

817
00:39:45,090 --> 00:39:46,293
I got this.

818
00:40:10,049 --> 00:40:11,284
Stay close.

819
00:40:11,318 --> 00:40:12,452
Aye, aye, Cap'n.

820
00:40:13,751 --> 00:40:14,954
You got this.

821
00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:20,758
Cassandra is gonna be giddy
when she sees what we caught.

822
00:40:21,594 --> 00:40:22,695
You can't run.

823
00:40:22,761 --> 00:40:23,997
Everybody knows that.

824
00:40:24,029 --> 00:40:27,200
You see anyone runnin',
dick for brains?

825
00:40:27,234 --> 00:40:29,069
You're not gonna love
what happens next.

826
00:40:29,102 --> 00:40:31,103
Oh, my God.

827
00:40:31,136 --> 00:40:33,440
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, he's gonna say it.

828
00:40:33,473 --> 00:40:34,506
Fuck.

829
00:40:34,540 --> 00:40:36,075
Oh, my God! He's gonna say it!

830
00:40:36,108 --> 00:40:37,844
- Say what?
- Avengers, assemble...

831
00:40:37,877 --> 00:40:39,312
- Flame on!
- I'm sorry, what now?

832
00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:04,004
Fuck!

833
00:41:07,974 --> 00:41:10,277
- We don't know that guy.
- We thought we did.

834
00:41:10,310 --> 00:41:12,378
I know you.

835
00:41:12,411 --> 00:41:14,447
Holy sh...

836
00:41:16,148 --> 00:41:17,149
Sabretooth.

837
00:41:17,584 --> 00:41:18,784
Your brother.

838
00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:21,288
Ready to die?

839
00:41:21,321 --> 00:41:24,024
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait! Time!

840
00:41:24,590 --> 00:41:26,191
You look ridiculous.

841
00:41:26,225 --> 00:41:28,928
People have waited decades
for this fight.

842
00:41:28,962 --> 00:41:30,796
It's not gonna be easy.
Baby Knife.

843
00:41:30,830 --> 00:41:32,732
Shoot the double,
you take him down.

844
00:41:32,766 --> 00:41:34,867
Side control, then full mount,

845
00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:36,268
and you ground and pound

846
00:41:36,302 --> 00:41:37,971
till he makes no sound
because he's dead.

847
00:41:38,004 --> 00:41:39,973
- Shut the fuck up!
- Oh, my God!

848
00:41:40,006 --> 00:41:42,442
Okay. Good luck.
I'm a huge fan.

849
00:41:54,486 --> 00:41:56,021
What is it, girl?

850
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:57,956
Is there trouble at the well?

851
00:42:02,795 --> 00:42:04,464
Big trouble.

852
00:42:04,496 --> 00:42:06,166
Behold!

853
00:42:06,199 --> 00:42:09,402
The head of your precious queen,

854
00:42:09,436 --> 00:42:10,437
Furiosa!

855
00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:13,405
I have the Wolverine!

856
00:42:13,439 --> 00:42:16,609
I alone control her!

857
00:42:16,643 --> 00:42:18,945
You come for me,

858
00:42:18,978 --> 00:42:21,481
you come for her.

859
00:42:23,082 --> 00:42:24,983
So sorry.
I know it's pronounced him.

860
00:42:25,017 --> 00:42:26,885
I'm gender blind.
It's my cross to bear.

861
00:42:26,919 --> 00:42:28,354
Who's next?

862
00:42:28,387 --> 00:42:29,522
Toad!

863
00:42:29,556 --> 00:42:30,856
You're up.

864
00:42:38,931 --> 00:42:40,300
- Oh, holy sh...
- Fuck.

865
00:42:51,644 --> 00:42:53,146
God of Thunder.

866
00:42:56,949 --> 00:42:58,484
How long was I asleep?

867
00:42:58,517 --> 00:43:00,153
Not all of you was asleep.

868
00:43:00,186 --> 00:43:01,788
Don't bother.

869
00:43:01,822 --> 00:43:04,089
They're very thorough.

870
00:43:04,123 --> 00:43:06,359
If you know where we are,
start talking.

871
00:43:06,959 --> 00:43:08,627
You're in The Void.

872
00:43:08,660 --> 00:43:10,764
Think of it as purgatory.

873
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:13,133
Reed called it
a metaphysical junkyard.

874
00:43:13,166 --> 00:43:14,733
Where anything useless goes

875
00:43:14,767 --> 00:43:16,970
before it gets
annihilated forever.

876
00:43:17,003 --> 00:43:19,839
And where the TVA sends
people that don't play nice

877
00:43:19,873 --> 00:43:21,007
with the rest of the multiverse.

878
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,776
- Like you?
- And you.

879
00:43:22,810 --> 00:43:24,309
What does
the annihilating?

880
00:43:24,778 --> 00:43:25,812
Alioth.

881
00:43:25,845 --> 00:43:27,279
Alioth is in this thing?

882
00:43:27,312 --> 00:43:29,381
From Loki, Season 1, Episode 5?

883
00:43:29,415 --> 00:43:31,584
Everyone here
is on the run from Alioth.

884
00:43:32,117 --> 00:43:33,786
Most don't make it.

885
00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:35,855
There's a resistance though.

886
00:43:35,889 --> 00:43:38,924
Other people like us
that managed to survive.

887
00:43:38,957 --> 00:43:40,325
They're hidin' out
in the borderlands,

888
00:43:40,359 --> 00:43:42,830
trying to find a way
the fuck outta here.

889
00:43:42,863 --> 00:43:44,229
Then that's where we go.

890
00:43:44,263 --> 00:43:46,231
We? Us? A team?

891
00:43:46,265 --> 00:43:48,300
The answer is yes.
Shake on it.

892
00:43:48,902 --> 00:43:50,135
Fuck! You nicked it.

893
00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:52,204
Just got the tip with
your little steak knife.

894
00:43:52,238 --> 00:43:54,407
These others can help us
get back to the TVA.

895
00:43:54,441 --> 00:43:55,474
Make 'em fix things.

896
00:43:57,709 --> 00:43:59,178
Something funny, bub?

897
00:43:59,211 --> 00:44:00,980
She might have somethin'
to say about that.

898
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:02,282
Who's she?

899
00:44:03,549 --> 00:44:04,751
In The Void,

900
00:44:04,784 --> 00:44:06,518
you're either food for Alioth

901
00:44:07,152 --> 00:44:09,188
or you work for her.

902
00:45:21,527 --> 00:45:24,564
Paul Rudd finally aged.

903
00:45:24,597 --> 00:45:26,365
Oh, you must be
this year's Juggernaut.

904
00:45:26,398 --> 00:45:28,133
- Thank you.
- I'd keep your voices down.

905
00:45:28,166 --> 00:45:29,568
She don't like the chatter.

906
00:45:29,601 --> 00:45:30,802
She's gonna love you.

907
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,654
Is it...
Is that Charles?

908
00:45:48,687 --> 00:45:50,924
Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us!

909
00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:52,291
That's not Chuck.

910
00:45:52,324 --> 00:45:53,525
Ah, shit.

911
00:45:54,895 --> 00:45:56,395
Oh, ableism. Great.

912
00:45:56,428 --> 00:45:58,932
That's not gonna go over well
with the woke mob.

913
00:45:58,965 --> 00:46:01,000
A Wolverine.

914
00:46:01,034 --> 00:46:03,468
I wondered when
I'd get one of you.

915
00:46:04,069 --> 00:46:05,305
You're one of Xavier's.

916
00:46:05,338 --> 00:46:07,006
You know him?
You know Chuck?

917
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,507
Oh, I knew him.

918
00:46:08,540 --> 00:46:09,943
We shared a womb.

919
00:46:09,977 --> 00:46:12,144
Tried to strangle
the sly little fellow

920
00:46:12,177 --> 00:46:13,611
with my umbilical cord.

921
00:46:13,644 --> 00:46:17,082
Amen. I've never loved roommates.
Mine's blind.

922
00:46:17,115 --> 00:46:18,784
Except she can see cocaine.

923
00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:20,252
For some... reason.

924
00:46:20,285 --> 00:46:23,422
You want to chime in,
Your Majesty? I'm dying here.

925
00:46:23,455 --> 00:46:24,457
Who are you?

926
00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:27,493
Charles Xavier's twin,
Cassandra Nova.

927
00:46:27,526 --> 00:46:29,162
- Bullshit!
- I was an anal birth.

928
00:46:29,195 --> 00:46:31,930
You two are cute.

929
00:46:31,964 --> 00:46:33,498
I have a good feeling
about this.

930
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:37,436
And I've been trying to catch

931
00:46:37,469 --> 00:46:39,538
this little firefly for years.

932
00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:41,841
Haven't I, Johnny?

933
00:46:41,874 --> 00:46:45,243
You picked the wrong time
to make new friends.

934
00:46:45,277 --> 00:46:47,646
Oh, Johnny told us
all about you.

935
00:46:47,679 --> 00:46:49,215
- Maybe shut up now.
- Yeah, maybe don't...

936
00:46:49,248 --> 00:46:50,315
We're just talkin' here.

937
00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:51,483
Yeah, Johnny told us

938
00:46:51,516 --> 00:46:53,685
you're a psychotic
megalomaniacal asshole.

939
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:57,356
His words, not mine. Hellbent
on domination and pain.

940
00:46:58,323 --> 00:46:59,892
You said all that about me?

941
00:46:59,926 --> 00:47:01,627
No! No! I don't...

942
00:47:01,660 --> 00:47:03,896
- I didn't say any of that!
- Sticks and stones, Johnny!

943
00:47:05,397 --> 00:47:07,400
Don't let her intimidate you.

944
00:47:07,433 --> 00:47:09,302
It's like you said
in the convoy.

945
00:47:09,335 --> 00:47:11,269
This finger-lickin' dead-inside

946
00:47:11,303 --> 00:47:14,206
pixie slab of third rate
dime-store nut-milk

947
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,076
can eat your delicious
cinnamon ring

948
00:47:16,110 --> 00:47:18,210
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.

949
00:47:18,243 --> 00:47:20,312
Okay. I have never said
any of those words

950
00:47:20,345 --> 00:47:22,481
- in my entire life!
- The modesty.

951
00:47:22,514 --> 00:47:24,515
People think I'm a shit talker.

952
00:47:24,548 --> 00:47:25,652
But this guy...

953
00:47:25,685 --> 00:47:26,786
Next level.

954
00:47:26,820 --> 00:47:28,955
What? This... I... We...

955
00:47:28,988 --> 00:47:30,323
I don't even know
what half of that means!

956
00:47:30,356 --> 00:47:32,091
- This... I...
- My hat's off to you, sir.

957
00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:33,157
- Truly.
- What? This...

958
00:47:33,191 --> 00:47:35,160
I didn't... He's...
That's... I...

959
00:47:35,193 --> 00:47:36,829
I... I don't...

960
00:47:41,901 --> 00:47:43,002
Not my favorite Chris.

961
00:47:43,036 --> 00:47:44,403
You stupid piece of shit.

962
00:47:44,435 --> 00:47:45,503
You just got him fucking killed!

963
00:47:45,536 --> 00:47:47,406
Hey!
We're all grieving!

964
00:47:47,439 --> 00:47:49,708
PS, do you know what
he was doing to the budget?

965
00:47:52,244 --> 00:47:54,814
Alioth is hungry.

966
00:47:54,847 --> 00:47:56,516
There's been
some kind of mistake.

967
00:47:56,549 --> 00:47:58,517
Big yellow is
a back-up Anchor Being,

968
00:47:58,550 --> 00:48:01,186
and I'm Marvel Jesus.
MJ, if you're nasty.

969
00:48:01,219 --> 00:48:02,254
This may be hard to hear,

970
00:48:02,287 --> 00:48:03,990
but there's
another British villain

971
00:48:04,023 --> 00:48:05,124
who's gonna destroy my universe,

972
00:48:05,158 --> 00:48:06,291
and I'm gonna stop him.

973
00:48:06,324 --> 00:48:07,828
Oh, honey,
you don't really strike me

974
00:48:07,861 --> 00:48:09,494
as the world-saving type.

975
00:48:11,898 --> 00:48:13,732
Did I hit a nerve?

976
00:48:13,765 --> 00:48:15,467
I didn't want it
to come to this.

977
00:48:16,101 --> 00:48:17,136
Either you help us

978
00:48:17,170 --> 00:48:18,503
or my friend here is gonna sing

979
00:48:18,537 --> 00:48:20,338
the entire second act
of Music Man

980
00:48:20,372 --> 00:48:21,606
with zero warm-up.

981
00:48:22,307 --> 00:48:23,575
Where'd you get the chair?

982
00:48:23,608 --> 00:48:24,642
Well, once in a while,

983
00:48:24,675 --> 00:48:26,712
I do get a Charles through here.

984
00:48:26,745 --> 00:48:28,147
Never mind though.

985
00:48:28,181 --> 00:48:31,349
He didn't care to find me.

986
00:48:31,383 --> 00:48:34,954
Gen Z and their trauma-bragging!

987
00:48:34,987 --> 00:48:37,924
Can't you just stuff it down,
turn it into accomplishment

988
00:48:37,957 --> 00:48:39,558
or cancer like the rest of us?

989
00:48:39,591 --> 00:48:41,426
But I'm not like
the rest of you.

990
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,395
Except maybe the Wolverine.

991
00:48:43,428 --> 00:48:46,065
Now, we could be
truly terrifying together.

992
00:48:46,099 --> 00:48:47,399
You're that scary, huh?

993
00:48:47,432 --> 00:48:49,736
The TVA certainly thought so.

994
00:48:49,769 --> 00:48:52,404
They sent me here
before I could walk.

995
00:48:52,437 --> 00:48:53,906
And you know,
it's the best thing

996
00:48:53,940 --> 00:48:55,707
that ever happened to me.

997
00:48:55,741 --> 00:48:56,608
I love it here.

998
00:48:56,641 --> 00:48:57,977
You live in a garbage dump.

999
00:48:58,010 --> 00:49:01,379
I think we both know who lives
in the garbage dump.

1000
00:49:01,413 --> 00:49:03,248
The Void is a paradise.

1001
00:49:03,281 --> 00:49:07,385
I can wield my power here
without shame.

1002
00:49:07,419 --> 00:49:09,387
Unfortunately I had
no Charles Xavier

1003
00:49:09,421 --> 00:49:11,389
to teach me temperance.

1004
00:49:11,423 --> 00:49:13,391
What about your Charles?

1005
00:49:13,425 --> 00:49:14,726
Did he protect you?

1006
00:49:15,359 --> 00:49:17,529
Did he make you feel safe?

1007
00:49:17,562 --> 00:49:19,499
We're mutants.
We're never safe.

1008
00:49:28,673 --> 00:49:30,442
I don't...
I don't want the smoke.

1009
00:49:30,475 --> 00:49:31,643
I don't have any beef with you.

1010
00:49:31,676 --> 00:49:33,278
I just want to save my friends.

1011
00:49:33,311 --> 00:49:34,578
I just... I want to go home.

1012
00:49:34,612 --> 00:49:36,447
Well, the thing is,
I could get you home.

1013
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,251
- Good.
- But I don't want to.

1014
00:49:38,283 --> 00:49:40,553
Not good.

1015
00:49:42,955 --> 00:49:45,490
What do you want, Wade Wilson?

1016
00:49:45,524 --> 00:49:48,026
Your...
fingers are inside me,

1017
00:49:48,060 --> 00:49:49,295
but not in a good way.

1018
00:49:49,328 --> 00:49:52,297
My brother could enter
one's mind with a thought.

1019
00:49:52,330 --> 00:49:54,632
I have to get my hands dirty.

1020
00:49:57,702 --> 00:49:58,972
I've got you.

1021
00:50:01,306 --> 00:50:02,707
I've got you...

1022
00:50:05,110 --> 00:50:06,344
What do you mean?

1023
00:50:07,979 --> 00:50:10,817
I can't... I can't reach you.
You're not here.

1024
00:50:10,850 --> 00:50:12,517
I'm right here.

1025
00:50:12,551 --> 00:50:15,520
- No, you're not. I can't...
- I'm right here.

1026
00:50:15,554 --> 00:50:17,756
Then show me.
You got to do something.

1027
00:50:18,991 --> 00:50:20,425
Show you what?

1028
00:50:20,458 --> 00:50:24,328
Show me you care about
something bigger than you.

1029
00:50:24,361 --> 00:50:28,400
Ever since they turned you
down, you took a knee.

1030
00:50:29,067 --> 00:50:31,037
Baby, you never got back up.

1031
00:50:33,206 --> 00:50:35,074
I know you're
going through something.

1032
00:50:35,107 --> 00:50:37,977
Let me go through it with you.

1033
00:50:38,010 --> 00:50:40,412
- Your crazy matches my crazy.
- Your crazy matches my crazy.

1034
00:50:43,515 --> 00:50:44,917
Where'd you go?

1035
00:50:45,416 --> 00:50:46,886
Oh, my God.

1036
00:50:49,889 --> 00:50:51,590
You just say it. Okay?

1037
00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,326
Say, I don't want you.

1038
00:50:53,358 --> 00:50:55,793
I don't want to be with you.

1039
00:50:55,827 --> 00:50:57,296
Go ahead. Say it.
Say... Say, I don't...

1040
00:50:57,330 --> 00:50:58,762
Say it.
You don't wanna be with me.

1041
00:50:58,796 --> 00:51:00,266
Tell me that and I'll walk away.

1042
00:51:00,299 --> 00:51:01,334
Say, I don't want you.

1043
00:51:07,505 --> 00:51:09,174
Fuck...

1044
00:51:09,207 --> 00:51:11,844
You'll never fucking matter.

1045
00:51:15,747 --> 00:51:17,582
What?

1046
00:51:17,616 --> 00:51:20,418
- You'll never fucking matter.
- Fucking matter.

1047
00:51:26,359 --> 00:51:28,994
- You'll...
- You'll...

1048
00:51:29,027 --> 00:51:30,963
- never...
- never...

1049
00:51:30,997 --> 00:51:32,231
- fucking...
- fucking...

1050
00:51:32,265 --> 00:51:35,101
- matter.
- matter...

1051
00:51:37,136 --> 00:51:38,470
She never said that.

1052
00:51:38,503 --> 00:51:39,603
No.

1053
00:51:39,637 --> 00:51:41,573
But I bet she thought it.

1054
00:51:42,674 --> 00:51:45,410
You are so mean!

1055
00:51:45,443 --> 00:51:46,577
My brain could taste
your fingers,

1056
00:51:46,610 --> 00:51:48,747
and they tasted like hate!

1057
00:51:48,780 --> 00:51:51,484
And where in God's name
is the intimacy coordinator?

1058
00:51:51,517 --> 00:51:54,321
You're so lost, Mr. Wilson.

1059
00:51:54,353 --> 00:51:56,755
And long before you came here.

1060
00:51:58,157 --> 00:51:59,191
This is Baby Knife.

1061
00:51:59,225 --> 00:52:00,491
She's gonna fuck you
in the face now.

1062
00:52:00,524 --> 00:52:01,793
If you want to kill me,

1063
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:03,695
it's going to take
more than a little blade.

1064
00:52:03,728 --> 00:52:05,530
How about six?

1065
00:52:05,563 --> 00:52:09,234
My boy's wicked strong.

1066
00:52:09,267 --> 00:52:10,903
That's my big boy.

1067
00:52:10,936 --> 00:52:12,405
Yes, you are.

1068
00:52:18,476 --> 00:52:20,045
Well, this has been fun.

1069
00:52:20,078 --> 00:52:22,348
But the big guy needs to eat,
and the rent is due.

1070
00:52:25,784 --> 00:52:26,818
By the way,

1071
00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:28,287
you're the rent.

1072
00:52:47,472 --> 00:52:50,308
Come on! Fuck!

1073
00:52:50,342 --> 00:52:51,508
You comin' or what?

1074
00:52:51,542 --> 00:52:52,745
Coming!

1075
00:53:12,730 --> 00:53:13,799
What you thinkin' 'bout?

1076
00:53:13,834 --> 00:53:15,500
Get the fuck off of me!

1077
00:53:15,533 --> 00:53:17,635
- Almost done.
- Almost done what?

1078
00:53:17,669 --> 00:53:19,571
Getting my knife out
of your buttocks.

1079
00:53:19,604 --> 00:53:21,339
- Pervert!
- Fuck!

1080
00:53:21,374 --> 00:53:23,242
Get your mind out of my pants!

1081
00:53:23,276 --> 00:53:25,610
- I'm telling Blake.
- New rules.

1082
00:53:25,978 --> 00:53:26,846
I talk now.

1083
00:53:26,879 --> 00:53:28,414
That's gonna be very hard
on the audience.

1084
00:53:28,447 --> 00:53:31,050
Shut the fuck up!

1085
00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:32,084
Let me fuckin' think.

1086
00:53:32,118 --> 00:53:34,186
Now we gotta get back
to Paradox, right?

1087
00:53:36,122 --> 00:53:37,722
Right?

1088
00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:39,959
Je m'excuse. Am I allowed
to speak now or...

1089
00:53:39,992 --> 00:53:42,260
Just nod, asshole.

1090
00:53:43,963 --> 00:53:44,964
Right.

1091
00:53:44,997 --> 00:53:46,531
Then we find the others
that poor kid, Johnny,

1092
00:53:46,564 --> 00:53:47,799
was talking about
before you got him killed!

1093
00:53:47,833 --> 00:53:49,634
Poor kid.
He's, like, 50!

1094
00:53:49,667 --> 00:53:50,701
Yeah, if there's
a chance they know

1095
00:53:50,734 --> 00:53:52,370
how to get out of here,
we find 'em.

1096
00:53:52,404 --> 00:53:54,373
And make those TVA fuckers
fix my shit

1097
00:53:54,407 --> 00:53:55,707
like you fucking promised!

1098
00:53:55,740 --> 00:53:57,209
I smell quest.

1099
00:54:00,012 --> 00:54:01,013
I smell food.

1100
00:54:04,150 --> 00:54:07,820
So what made you finally wear
an honest-to-God costume?

1101
00:54:09,388 --> 00:54:11,555
Mine's red
so they can't see me bleed.

1102
00:54:11,588 --> 00:54:14,427
But I could see how
yellow would be useful too.

1103
00:54:14,460 --> 00:54:16,095
Have you been checked for ADHD?

1104
00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:19,563
But I've had several STDs,

1105
00:54:19,596 --> 00:54:21,766
which were probably caused
by ADHD.

1106
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:22,868
Fuck!

1107
00:54:23,767 --> 00:54:25,371
What are you looking for?

1108
00:54:25,404 --> 00:54:26,972
Thank fuck.

1109
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:29,908
No, no, no, no, no.
That's rubbing alcohol.

1110
00:54:29,941 --> 00:54:31,444
You don't want to drink...
Oh, yeah.

1111
00:54:31,477 --> 00:54:32,877
There you go. Fuck that liver.

1112
00:54:34,345 --> 00:54:36,215
Good. Okay.

1113
00:54:37,249 --> 00:54:38,350
What the fuck are those?

1114
00:54:39,885 --> 00:54:41,821
Back in civilian life,
I wear a toupee,

1115
00:54:41,854 --> 00:54:43,555
but nobody knows.

1116
00:54:45,991 --> 00:54:47,592
Everybody knows.

1117
00:54:50,028 --> 00:54:51,596
Wanna talk about
what's haunting you,

1118
00:54:51,629 --> 00:54:53,865
or should we wait
for a third act flashback?

1119
00:54:53,898 --> 00:54:56,001
Go fuck yourself.

1120
00:54:59,271 --> 00:55:00,272
You know...

1121
00:55:01,841 --> 00:55:04,175
in my world, you're...

1122
00:55:05,411 --> 00:55:06,611
You're well regarded.

1123
00:55:06,644 --> 00:55:08,280
Yeah, well, not in mine.

1124
00:55:09,247 --> 00:55:11,182
They don't like me much
in mine either.

1125
00:55:11,216 --> 00:55:12,617
You don't say.

1126
00:55:12,650 --> 00:55:14,718
I wanted to be something,
you know. I...

1127
00:55:15,588 --> 00:55:17,323
Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger.

1128
00:55:17,356 --> 00:55:19,756
- Fuck the Avengers.
- Yeah.

1129
00:55:19,790 --> 00:55:22,061
I didn't make the cut though.
Same with the X-Men...

1130
00:55:23,996 --> 00:55:25,063
When my girlfriend left me,

1131
00:55:25,096 --> 00:55:26,665
- and I just...
- You had a girlfriend?

1132
00:55:27,032 --> 00:55:28,067
Yeah.

1133
00:55:28,466 --> 00:55:29,835
Vanessa.

1134
00:55:29,869 --> 00:55:31,402
When we met, she was a dancer.

1135
00:55:32,571 --> 00:55:33,770
We had a whole life.

1136
00:55:35,006 --> 00:55:36,609
It was good.

1137
00:55:36,641 --> 00:55:38,844
But, oh, boy, I just...

1138
00:55:39,911 --> 00:55:41,712
Fucked that right up.

1139
00:55:42,413 --> 00:55:43,548
But you,

1140
00:55:43,581 --> 00:55:44,917
you were an X-Man.

1141
00:55:44,950 --> 00:55:47,019
Fuck that.
You were the X-Man. You...

1142
00:55:48,753 --> 00:55:50,089
The Wolverine.

1143
00:55:52,390 --> 00:55:54,025
He was a hero in my world.

1144
00:55:55,792 --> 00:55:56,996
Yeah, well...

1145
00:55:58,163 --> 00:55:59,298
he ain't shit in mine.

1146
00:56:04,735 --> 00:56:07,339
You said, Logan was a hero.
What happened?

1147
00:56:08,240 --> 00:56:09,241
He died.

1148
00:56:09,909 --> 00:56:11,242
How?

1149
00:56:11,276 --> 00:56:13,878
Well, technically, you were
chest-fucked by a tree, but,

1150
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:15,679
really, you just
ran out of batteries

1151
00:56:15,712 --> 00:56:17,950
- trying to save someone.
- Who?

1152
00:56:17,983 --> 00:56:19,852
The shitheels
that grew her in a lab

1153
00:56:19,885 --> 00:56:21,420
called her X-23. But...

1154
00:56:22,221 --> 00:56:23,922
she was just a kid.

1155
00:56:23,955 --> 00:56:27,593
A younger, daintier,
somehow meaner version of you.

1156
00:56:27,626 --> 00:56:29,395
You died trying to save her.

1157
00:56:29,428 --> 00:56:30,896
It was beautiful.

1158
00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:33,899
Look, mijo,
I know you're hurtin'.

1159
00:56:33,933 --> 00:56:36,334
My blind, elderly,
African-American roommate,

1160
00:56:36,367 --> 00:56:39,605
Blind Al, always says that
pain teaches us who we are.

1161
00:56:39,638 --> 00:56:41,307
Sometimes we need to listen
to that pain

1162
00:56:41,340 --> 00:56:42,374
instead of running from it.

1163
00:56:42,408 --> 00:56:44,042
- Holy shit.
- Yeah, she's wise.

1164
00:56:44,075 --> 00:56:46,678
No, no, no. That's her name?
You call her Blind Al?

1165
00:56:46,710 --> 00:56:47,913
Well, she's blind.

1166
00:57:25,451 --> 00:57:26,750
Look at you!

1167
00:57:26,783 --> 00:57:27,885
She's coming with us.

1168
00:57:27,919 --> 00:57:29,822
- No, she's not. Fuck no!
- Oh, yes, she is.

1169
00:57:29,855 --> 00:57:31,257
- Oh, yes...
- Sorry!

1170
00:57:31,290 --> 00:57:33,993
Sorry about that!

1171
00:57:34,026 --> 00:57:36,261
Come here, girl!

1172
00:57:36,294 --> 00:57:37,562
Who are you?

1173
00:57:37,595 --> 00:57:38,931
Oh, I'm Deadpool.

1174
00:57:38,964 --> 00:57:40,733
And I guess you're Deadpool too.

1175
00:57:40,765 --> 00:57:42,835
But in here, everybody
calls me Nicepool.

1176
00:57:42,868 --> 00:57:44,536
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till you see Ladypool.

1177
00:57:44,570 --> 00:57:45,937
She is gorgeous.

1178
00:57:45,970 --> 00:57:48,106
She just had a baby too.
And...

1179
00:57:48,139 --> 00:57:49,074
Can't even tell.

1180
00:57:49,108 --> 00:57:50,576
I don't think you're supposed
to say that.

1181
00:57:50,609 --> 00:57:52,044
That's okay.

1182
00:57:52,077 --> 00:57:53,678
I identify as a feminist.

1183
00:57:53,711 --> 00:57:54,913
Right.

1184
00:57:56,547 --> 00:57:57,850
Are those gold-plated,

1185
00:57:57,882 --> 00:58:00,019
.50 caliber Desert Eagle
pistoleros?

1186
00:58:00,052 --> 00:58:01,053
'Course.

1187
00:58:01,086 --> 00:58:02,420
To match my ear huggie.

1188
00:58:02,453 --> 00:58:03,756
Can I have 'em?

1189
00:58:03,788 --> 00:58:05,691
Over my dead body.

1190
00:58:05,723 --> 00:58:06,958
You're fun.

1191
00:58:06,991 --> 00:58:09,461
And I guess you've
already met Mary Puppins.

1192
00:58:09,495 --> 00:58:11,263
AKA Dogpool.

1193
00:58:11,297 --> 00:58:12,631
Careful where you put
your hands.

1194
00:58:12,665 --> 00:58:15,400
She's ninety percent g-spot,
and she'll let you know it.

1195
00:58:15,433 --> 00:58:19,103
You let this little flirt out
of your sight for one second

1196
00:58:19,137 --> 00:58:21,273
and she starts shopping
for a new papa.

1197
00:58:21,307 --> 00:58:23,441
If you can't be
a responsible pet owner,

1198
00:58:23,474 --> 00:58:26,244
then maybe you don't deserve
this little unicorn.

1199
00:58:26,277 --> 00:58:28,513
Guilty on all charges,
Your Honor.

1200
00:58:28,546 --> 00:58:29,580
Shan't happen again.

1201
00:58:29,614 --> 00:58:31,082
Why are you so nice?

1202
00:58:31,115 --> 00:58:32,718
Oh, it costs nothing to be kind.

1203
00:58:32,751 --> 00:58:34,552
Shutting the fuck up
is also free.

1204
00:58:34,585 --> 00:58:36,020
- Caliente.
- This is Logan.

1205
00:58:36,055 --> 00:58:37,188
He's usually shirtless,

1206
00:58:37,221 --> 00:58:39,123
but he's let himself go
since the divorce.

1207
00:58:40,392 --> 00:58:42,027
Where's your mask?

1208
00:58:44,595 --> 00:58:45,631
Come on, guys.

1209
00:58:47,198 --> 00:58:48,166
This guy.

1210
00:58:48,199 --> 00:58:49,734
We're looking
for a group of survivors.

1211
00:58:49,767 --> 00:58:50,869
Oh, they're out there.

1212
00:58:50,903 --> 00:58:52,671
Yeah, but merc to merc,
you better hope

1213
00:58:52,705 --> 00:58:54,473
that you don't run
into the Deadpool corps.

1214
00:58:54,506 --> 00:58:55,474
Yeah, they're crazy.

1215
00:58:55,507 --> 00:58:57,176
They will chop you up
into a thousand pieces

1216
00:58:57,209 --> 00:58:58,476
and hide you all over The Void.

1217
00:58:58,509 --> 00:59:00,479
If they could only process
their childhood trauma,

1218
00:59:00,512 --> 00:59:02,348
they'd go on one heck
of a healing journey.

1219
00:59:02,381 --> 00:59:03,648
Look, we're headed
for the borderlands.

1220
00:59:03,681 --> 00:59:04,950
You know where it is?

1221
00:59:04,983 --> 00:59:07,753
Yeah, that...
that's 12 klicks due west.

1222
00:59:07,785 --> 00:59:09,087
I can lend you my ride,
if you like.

1223
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:11,190
It would be my honor.

1224
00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:16,761
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Absolutely not.

1225
00:59:16,794 --> 00:59:18,896
What the... No! No!

1226
00:59:18,930 --> 00:59:19,964
Just get in the car.

1227
00:59:19,996 --> 00:59:21,166
This isn't a car.

1228
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:23,668
This is a Honda fuckin' Odyssey.

1229
00:59:23,701 --> 00:59:25,703
Throttle response sucks a cock.

1230
00:59:25,737 --> 00:59:26,939
Dated infotainment system.

1231
00:59:26,972 --> 00:59:28,707
When Honda saw
that untreated chlamydia

1232
00:59:28,740 --> 00:59:29,907
was makin' a comeback,

1233
00:59:29,941 --> 00:59:32,644
they invented
the Honda Odyssey to compete.

1234
00:59:32,678 --> 00:59:35,780
Get in the fucking car.

1235
00:59:35,814 --> 00:59:37,749
She'll get you there
safe and sound.

1236
00:59:37,782 --> 00:59:40,017
Old Betsy always does.

1237
00:59:40,051 --> 00:59:42,454
You're gonna have to
give me my dog back though.

1238
00:59:42,488 --> 00:59:43,822
I know. Listen.

1239
00:59:43,856 --> 00:59:45,356
Yes, child.

1240
00:59:45,390 --> 00:59:47,692
If you ever wanna give her up,
or if she needs a new home,

1241
00:59:47,725 --> 00:59:49,727
or if something
should happen to you,

1242
00:59:49,761 --> 00:59:50,962
I'd love to be her papa.

1243
00:59:50,995 --> 00:59:53,398
What would
ever happen to me?

1244
00:59:53,431 --> 00:59:54,566
Lots of stuff.

1245
00:59:58,136 --> 00:59:59,504
- Jesus.
- No!

1246
00:59:59,537 --> 01:00:01,339
We're running away.

1247
01:00:01,372 --> 01:00:03,142
- Give me that.
- The corn was too dense, girl!

1248
01:00:03,175 --> 01:00:04,209
- There.
- Come here!

1249
01:00:04,243 --> 01:00:05,676
- Fuck!
- Hello!

1250
01:00:07,545 --> 01:00:08,679
Bye.

1251
01:00:34,505 --> 01:00:36,040
Okay, I'm just gonna ask...

1252
01:00:36,073 --> 01:00:37,208
What's with the suit?

1253
01:00:37,241 --> 01:00:38,943
First thing I did
when I flamed out,

1254
01:00:38,976 --> 01:00:40,044
- I took mine off.
- Drop it.

1255
01:00:40,077 --> 01:00:41,412
It's not that ugly.

1256
01:00:41,446 --> 01:00:43,047
- Stop talking about my suit.
- Did you make it yourself?

1257
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:44,516
- Been there.
- Quit. Now.

1258
01:00:44,550 --> 01:00:47,618
The X-Men make you wear it?
Those sons of fuckin' bitches.

1259
01:00:47,652 --> 01:00:49,353
They are not your friends,
I'll tell you that.

1260
01:00:49,387 --> 01:00:51,890
Friends don't let friends
leave the house lookin' like

1261
01:00:51,924 --> 01:00:53,758
they fight crime
for the Los Angeles Rams.

1262
01:00:53,792 --> 01:00:55,127
Shut the fuck up
about this, or...

1263
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:57,261
Watch your frown lines,
angel baby.

1264
01:00:57,295 --> 01:00:58,496
I'm just trying
to bond a little bit.

1265
01:00:58,529 --> 01:01:00,164
Yeah, well, then talk
about somethin' else.

1266
01:01:00,198 --> 01:01:01,199
Fine.

1267
01:01:07,906 --> 01:01:10,475
Stop it.

1268
01:01:10,508 --> 01:01:12,143
If they can fix your world,
what's the first thing

1269
01:01:12,176 --> 01:01:13,278
you're gonna do
when you get out of here?

1270
01:01:13,312 --> 01:01:14,779
Get some rubbing alcohol shots,

1271
01:01:14,813 --> 01:01:16,481
maybe a wiper fluid chaser?

1272
01:01:16,514 --> 01:01:18,282
- What did you say?
- I said when you get back,

1273
01:01:18,316 --> 01:01:19,550
what's the first thing
you're gonna do?

1274
01:01:19,584 --> 01:01:21,152
No, no, no. Before that.

1275
01:01:22,153 --> 01:01:24,088
If... they can fix your world?

1276
01:01:27,992 --> 01:01:29,560
What do you mean, if?

1277
01:01:30,162 --> 01:01:31,195
- I mean...
- You lied to me.

1278
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:32,396
You don't have a fucking clue

1279
01:01:32,430 --> 01:01:34,099
if they can help me
fix things, do you?

1280
01:01:34,132 --> 01:01:35,766
No. I mean...

1281
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:38,436
Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie!

1282
01:01:38,469 --> 01:01:41,506
- You lied!
- No! I made an educated wish!

1283
01:01:43,207 --> 01:01:44,676
Because I need you.

1284
01:01:45,644 --> 01:01:49,447
This. This is why. Right here.

1285
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:51,382
'Cause if we don't do
something, they die.

1286
01:01:51,415 --> 01:01:53,651
I don't know anything
about saving worlds.

1287
01:01:53,684 --> 01:01:55,220
And why would I even care?

1288
01:01:55,254 --> 01:01:58,723
Because my entire world
is right here in this picture.

1289
01:01:58,756 --> 01:02:00,558
It's only nine people,

1290
01:02:00,591 --> 01:02:03,996
and I have no idea
how to save it alone.

1291
01:02:04,028 --> 01:02:06,197
I know how to fuck people up
for money. But you,

1292
01:02:06,230 --> 01:02:08,099
you know how to save 'em!

1293
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:10,268
At least
the other Wolverine did.

1294
01:02:11,536 --> 01:02:14,472
Fuck! I guess I'm stuck
with the worst one.

1295
01:02:14,505 --> 01:02:16,641
Did you say you made

1296
01:02:16,674 --> 01:02:20,012
an educated fucking wish?

1297
01:02:20,044 --> 01:02:22,246
They call me
the Merc with the Mouth.

1298
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:24,348
They don't call me
Truthful Timmy,

1299
01:02:24,381 --> 01:02:26,384
the Blowjob Queen
of Saskatoon.

1300
01:02:30,087 --> 01:02:31,289
One more word.

1301
01:02:32,255 --> 01:02:35,159
Please give me one.

1302
01:02:37,528 --> 01:02:38,663
Gubernatorial.

1303
01:02:38,696 --> 01:02:40,464
Oh, fuck!

1304
01:02:41,967 --> 01:02:43,501
You know what?
You're a fucking joke.

1305
01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:46,571
No wonder the Avengers
didn't take you.

1306
01:02:46,604 --> 01:02:49,473
Or the X-Men. And they'll take
fucking anyone.

1307
01:02:49,507 --> 01:02:50,909
I mean, you are

1308
01:02:50,943 --> 01:02:54,579
a ridiculous, immature,
half-wit moron.

1309
01:02:55,078 --> 01:02:56,949
I have never met

1310
01:02:56,982 --> 01:02:58,250
a sadder,

1311
01:02:58,283 --> 01:03:00,886
more attention-starved,
jabbering little prick

1312
01:03:00,919 --> 01:03:02,253
in my entire life.

1313
01:03:02,286 --> 01:03:04,355
And that says a lot,
'cause I've been alive

1314
01:03:04,388 --> 01:03:07,060
for more than 200 fuckin' years,

1315
01:03:07,092 --> 01:03:08,359
and I'll tell ya,

1316
01:03:08,392 --> 01:03:10,161
that bald chick
was right about one thing.

1317
01:03:10,194 --> 01:03:12,864
You will never save the world!

1318
01:03:12,898 --> 01:03:15,600
You couldn't even save
a relationship

1319
01:03:15,633 --> 01:03:17,436
with a goddamn stripper!

1320
01:03:17,469 --> 01:03:20,138
And motherfucker, I wish
I could say you'd die alone,

1321
01:03:20,172 --> 01:03:23,207
but it's one of God's
best jokes that you can't die,

1322
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:24,842
except that's on all of us!

1323
01:03:28,915 --> 01:03:31,315
Oh, you got nothing to say,
Mouth?

1324
01:03:40,025 --> 01:03:41,759
I'm gonna fight you now.

1325
01:03:43,694 --> 01:03:45,329
Oh, are you?

1326
01:03:55,405 --> 01:03:57,909
Not talkin' now, are ya?

1327
01:04:04,448 --> 01:04:05,683
Oh, you dirty bitch.

1328
01:04:38,617 --> 01:04:40,284
No, no, no!

1329
01:04:58,871 --> 01:05:00,438
Baby Knife!

1330
01:05:03,574 --> 01:05:06,911
I take it all back.
The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.

1331
01:05:06,944 --> 01:05:08,312
Too bad you don't, needle dick.

1332
01:05:08,345 --> 01:05:09,613
Oh, we're just
gettin' started, bub.

1333
01:05:14,251 --> 01:05:15,752
Oh, you... Fuck!

1334
01:06:08,205 --> 01:06:09,507
Thor!

1335
01:06:12,310 --> 01:06:13,344
Where are we?

1336
01:06:13,377 --> 01:06:16,814
No clue, but...
I like it here.

1337
01:07:15,040 --> 01:07:16,908
Okay.

1338
01:07:16,942 --> 01:07:20,010
Look at you... all.
You must be the others.

1339
01:07:20,643 --> 01:07:21,679
Terrific.

1340
01:07:21,712 --> 01:07:24,982
So just to refresh, you are

1341
01:07:25,016 --> 01:07:25,951
- Wonder...
- Elektra.

1342
01:07:25,984 --> 01:07:28,452
Elektra?
Yes. Who could forget?

1343
01:07:28,484 --> 01:07:31,622
And you. I was not expecting
to see you here.

1344
01:07:31,655 --> 01:07:33,357
I thought you were, you know,

1345
01:07:33,390 --> 01:07:34,926
retired.

1346
01:07:35,626 --> 01:07:36,627
Retarded?

1347
01:07:38,029 --> 01:07:39,063
Retired.

1348
01:07:39,096 --> 01:07:40,130
I'm already in The Void.

1349
01:07:40,164 --> 01:07:41,333
I'm not trying
to get canceled again.

1350
01:07:41,365 --> 01:07:43,434
- I don't like you.
- You never did.

1351
01:07:44,802 --> 01:07:47,272
And who's this
succulent reminder

1352
01:07:47,305 --> 01:07:48,873
of my own inadequacies?

1353
01:07:48,907 --> 01:07:50,473
Look at you.

1354
01:07:50,506 --> 01:07:53,245
You look like the
superhero version of Hawkeye.

1355
01:07:53,278 --> 01:07:56,647
The name's Remy LeBeau,
Le Diable Blanc.

1356
01:07:56,680 --> 01:07:58,083
But you can call me the Gambit.

1357
01:07:58,116 --> 01:07:59,918
It's been a while
since I've seen Sling Blade.

1358
01:07:59,950 --> 01:08:00,951
Hit me again.

1359
01:08:01,652 --> 01:08:02,821
They call me the Gambit.

1360
01:08:02,854 --> 01:08:04,189
Do they?
Are you sure you didn't

1361
01:08:04,223 --> 01:08:05,422
just really,
really want them to,

1362
01:08:05,456 --> 01:08:06,825
but it never quite worked out?

1363
01:08:09,460 --> 01:08:11,897
You know, we never had
a Wolverine up in here.

1364
01:08:12,563 --> 01:08:13,564
But I can tell you now,

1365
01:08:13,597 --> 01:08:15,599
it's just a common courtesy
to ask

1366
01:08:15,633 --> 01:08:17,369
before you drink up
all of my liquor.

1367
01:08:17,401 --> 01:08:19,637
Well, it's a good thing
I don't give a fuck.

1368
01:08:22,974 --> 01:08:23,975
Fuck.

1369
01:08:26,443 --> 01:08:28,078
So embarrassing.

1370
01:08:30,248 --> 01:08:31,349
Well, now that
that's settled, look,

1371
01:08:31,383 --> 01:08:32,782
we came a long way
to find you three.

1372
01:08:32,817 --> 01:08:34,551
- There's four of us.
- There's four...

1373
01:08:34,585 --> 01:08:36,620
Hey, wait. Is it Magneto?

1374
01:08:36,653 --> 01:08:38,722
Dear sweet God in heaven,
let it be Magneto,

1375
01:08:38,756 --> 01:08:39,790
- because with him...
- He's dead.

1376
01:08:39,824 --> 01:08:41,860
Fuck!
Now Disney gets cheap?

1377
01:08:41,892 --> 01:08:43,929
It's like Pinocchio jammed
his face in my ass

1378
01:08:43,962 --> 01:08:46,298
- and started lying like crazy.
- Ooh, you nasty!

1379
01:08:46,331 --> 01:08:48,732
Mon petit rouge. Laissez
les bons temps rouler, huh?

1380
01:08:48,766 --> 01:08:51,634
Not a single word.
What do you do exactly?

1381
01:08:51,668 --> 01:08:54,239
Charge the playing cards
and make 'em go boom!

1382
01:08:54,272 --> 01:08:56,540
Your power's close-up magic.
That's good.

1383
01:08:56,573 --> 01:08:58,209
We're not totally fucked at all.

1384
01:08:58,243 --> 01:08:59,609
So who brought us here?

1385
01:08:59,642 --> 01:09:00,912
That would be me.

1386
01:09:11,189 --> 01:09:12,456
Don't make me regret it.

1387
01:09:14,060 --> 01:09:17,561
Holy shit. Logan.
That's her. That's X-23.

1388
01:09:17,594 --> 01:09:19,197
She's the one I told you about.

1389
01:09:23,634 --> 01:09:25,803
Hey, how did you all get stuck
in The Void?

1390
01:09:25,837 --> 01:09:27,439
There was a knock at the door.

1391
01:09:27,471 --> 01:09:29,506
- TVA sent me here.
- Me too.

1392
01:09:29,540 --> 01:09:30,607
Well, maybe I was born here.

1393
01:09:30,641 --> 01:09:31,909
It's... It's hard
to know for sure.

1394
01:09:31,942 --> 01:09:35,512
TVA decided
our universe was dying.

1395
01:09:35,546 --> 01:09:37,648
And I never even got a chance
to fight for it.

1396
01:09:40,318 --> 01:09:42,485
People like us
don't go quietly.

1397
01:09:42,518 --> 01:09:44,723
TVA knows that,
so they took us out.

1398
01:09:44,756 --> 01:09:47,158
The answer is yes. I'm in.

1399
01:09:47,192 --> 01:09:49,127
- In what?
- A team.

1400
01:09:49,159 --> 01:09:51,363
Me, you, you, and me.
All of us together.

1401
01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:52,795
Let's get the fuck
out of this place.

1402
01:09:52,830 --> 01:09:54,564
Don't listen to him.
He's a fucking liar!

1403
01:09:54,598 --> 01:09:56,401
It was an educated wish!

1404
01:09:56,434 --> 01:09:58,036
Look.

1405
01:09:59,471 --> 01:10:01,438
We've been inside
Cassandra's lair.

1406
01:10:01,472 --> 01:10:03,908
The only way out of The Void
is through her.

1407
01:10:03,942 --> 01:10:05,844
She can get us home.
She told us.

1408
01:10:05,877 --> 01:10:08,412
Wait a minute,
you've been inside?

1409
01:10:08,445 --> 01:10:10,180
- And you made it out alive?
- Bullshit.

1410
01:10:10,214 --> 01:10:11,982
- Nobody's ever done that.
- We did.

1411
01:10:12,016 --> 01:10:14,617
Every time one of us
has gone up against her,

1412
01:10:14,952 --> 01:10:15,954
they die.

1413
01:10:15,987 --> 01:10:18,756
The Punisher, the Quicksilver,
the Daredevil.

1414
01:10:18,789 --> 01:10:20,458
Daredevil?
I'm so sorry.

1415
01:10:20,492 --> 01:10:21,892
- It's fine.
- Okay.

1416
01:10:23,862 --> 01:10:27,198
Even that sweet, baby angel,
Johnny Storm.

1417
01:10:27,232 --> 01:10:28,665
He up and gone missing like,

1418
01:10:28,699 --> 01:10:30,634
what, two days ago?

1419
01:10:30,667 --> 01:10:32,970
That's so sad.

1420
01:10:33,003 --> 01:10:35,739
Wherever this Johnny fella is,
I'm sure he's thriving.

1421
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:39,177
Look, there's...
there's strength in numbers.

1422
01:10:39,210 --> 01:10:40,311
All right? Us...

1423
01:10:40,345 --> 01:10:41,677
plus, you guys.
We can put Cassandra

1424
01:10:41,711 --> 01:10:43,982
over our knee and force her
to let us out of The Void.

1425
01:10:44,015 --> 01:10:45,682
I know what it means
to feel self-doubt.

1426
01:10:45,716 --> 01:10:47,252
- I don't feel that at all.
- I'm good.

1427
01:10:47,285 --> 01:10:49,520
Gnawing at your gut
like a coked-up tapeworm.

1428
01:10:49,552 --> 01:10:51,089
It's like you're holding up
a mirror to my soul.

1429
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,456
You guys
may not have been able

1430
01:10:52,489 --> 01:10:54,224
to save your universes.

1431
01:10:54,258 --> 01:10:56,429
But you can avenge them.

1432
01:10:56,461 --> 01:10:57,761
It's what Johnny
would have wanted.

1433
01:10:57,795 --> 01:11:00,831
Wait. You knew Johnny?

1434
01:11:01,632 --> 01:11:02,866
Oh, yeah.

1435
01:11:02,900 --> 01:11:04,868
Dickhead here talked him
into a team-up,

1436
01:11:04,902 --> 01:11:07,505
and Johnny came down with
a little case of the deads.

1437
01:11:07,539 --> 01:11:08,840
No, no, no.
We don't know that.

1438
01:11:08,873 --> 01:11:11,076
It was just a flesh wound.
He may have survived.

1439
01:11:11,109 --> 01:11:13,878
If he survived that,
he is prayin' for death.

1440
01:11:13,912 --> 01:11:15,547
Thank you,
Doctor Wolverine!

1441
01:11:15,579 --> 01:11:17,748
- Spill it!
- What'd you do to Johnny, huh?

1442
01:11:17,781 --> 01:11:18,950
Talk or I'm gonna start dealin'.

1443
01:11:18,983 --> 01:11:20,651
Okay. Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.

1444
01:11:21,118 --> 01:11:21,952
Look.

1445
01:11:21,985 --> 01:11:24,421
He ran his fat-ass mouth
about Cassandra.

1446
01:11:24,455 --> 01:11:26,223
Then she zip-zapped his skin,

1447
01:11:26,256 --> 01:11:28,393
leaving his organs to splash
crudely onto the ground

1448
01:11:28,426 --> 01:11:31,362
while the soil greedily drank
his blood. It was horrible.

1449
01:11:31,396 --> 01:11:33,163
He was like a brother to me.

1450
01:11:33,197 --> 01:11:36,333
Look, he died before he could
make a difference. But...

1451
01:11:36,366 --> 01:11:37,402
Look, maybe you couldn't

1452
01:11:37,435 --> 01:11:38,870
save your worlds, but...

1453
01:11:38,903 --> 01:11:41,638
but Jesus Christ,
you can save mine!

1454
01:11:41,672 --> 01:11:44,141
I don't give a shit
about your world, but

1455
01:11:44,174 --> 01:11:47,113
if these two made it out of
there alive, maybe together,

1456
01:11:47,145 --> 01:11:49,047
we can get back in
and take her down.

1457
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:52,050
Where I come from,
we call that suicide, Chere.

1458
01:11:52,083 --> 01:11:54,052
If we can block
her psychic powers,

1459
01:11:54,085 --> 01:11:55,953
we can get a leg up.
I know it.

1460
01:11:55,986 --> 01:11:58,022
Now, I know Magneto's dead.

1461
01:11:58,056 --> 01:12:00,657
But I'd venture to guess
that his helmet is lying

1462
01:12:00,691 --> 01:12:02,726
- around here somewhere...
- Cassandra melted the helmet.

1463
01:12:02,759 --> 01:12:03,927
- Fuck!
- After she killed him.

1464
01:12:03,961 --> 01:12:05,929
- Fuck!
- She don't play.

1465
01:12:05,963 --> 01:12:07,397
She knows that helmet
was the only way

1466
01:12:07,431 --> 01:12:09,066
to protect anyone
from her powers.

1467
01:12:09,100 --> 01:12:10,968
The only other helmet that
strong is Juggernaut's,

1468
01:12:11,002 --> 01:12:12,237
but he works for Cassandra.

1469
01:12:12,270 --> 01:12:13,769
Juggernaut's helmet.
That's it.

1470
01:12:13,803 --> 01:12:15,472
Yeah, and we done be knowing
that lid ain't comin' off

1471
01:12:15,506 --> 01:12:16,907
without that dome
gonna come off wit'it.

1472
01:12:16,940 --> 01:12:18,209
I'm so sorry,
beautiful.

1473
01:12:18,243 --> 01:12:19,110
I want this to be gentle.

1474
01:12:19,144 --> 01:12:21,411
Who is your dialect coach?
The Minions?

1475
01:12:21,445 --> 01:12:24,714
I feel like we are missing
critical exposition here.

1476
01:12:25,916 --> 01:12:28,887
I'm sick of this shit.
I'm sick of hiding.

1477
01:12:29,921 --> 01:12:31,955
Let's face it,
our worlds forgot about us.

1478
01:12:31,989 --> 01:12:33,789
Or never learned about us.

1479
01:12:33,824 --> 01:12:35,259
The heroes we were.

1480
01:12:35,292 --> 01:12:36,593
Lives we saved.

1481
01:12:36,627 --> 01:12:37,995
Or wanted to save.

1482
01:12:38,028 --> 01:12:40,064
Maybe these two are our chance.

1483
01:12:41,431 --> 01:12:43,167
To be remembered.

1484
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:44,268
The way we deserve.

1485
01:12:45,402 --> 01:12:46,471
Yes.

1486
01:12:46,504 --> 01:12:48,305
An ending.

1487
01:12:48,338 --> 01:12:49,541
- Legacy.
- Yes!

1488
01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:51,041
Yes! Let this man cook.

1489
01:12:51,074 --> 01:12:52,577
This is what I'm talking about.

1490
01:12:52,610 --> 01:12:54,578
Big slow-motion fights,
sad music.

1491
01:12:54,611 --> 01:12:55,812
Everybody working together.

1492
01:12:55,846 --> 01:12:57,680
Who knows if you live or die?
That sorta thing.

1493
01:12:57,713 --> 01:12:59,851
- Who's ready?
- I was born ready.

1494
01:12:59,884 --> 01:13:01,152
Yes! Gambit?

1495
01:13:01,186 --> 01:13:02,120
I ain't know my daddy,

1496
01:13:02,153 --> 01:13:04,121
but I'm sure I shot out
of his dick ready.

1497
01:13:04,154 --> 01:13:06,056
Jesus Christ,
that is graphic.

1498
01:13:06,089 --> 01:13:08,025
Yeah. He was layin' them
buttery nuts all up in my mama

1499
01:13:08,058 --> 01:13:10,061
and I shot out there
and I said, what's up, Doc?

1500
01:13:10,094 --> 01:13:12,530
Johnny must have loved you.

1501
01:13:12,564 --> 01:13:14,831
X-23, what's it gonna be?

1502
01:13:14,865 --> 01:13:16,100
The name's Laura.

1503
01:13:16,134 --> 01:13:18,936
- Let's fucking go.
- Let's fucking go!

1504
01:13:18,969 --> 01:13:20,205
It's on like chicken and corn.

1505
01:13:20,238 --> 01:13:21,737
- Yeah!
- We're doing this.

1506
01:13:21,772 --> 01:13:22,840
You're all fuckin' dead.

1507
01:13:22,874 --> 01:13:25,209
My God!
Read the room.

1508
01:13:36,053 --> 01:13:39,189
Hey, hey. I'm not lookin'
for company. Get out of here.

1509
01:13:41,359 --> 01:13:42,860
You remind me of him.

1510
01:13:42,894 --> 01:13:44,728
Angry. Drunk. Mean...

1511
01:13:44,761 --> 01:13:46,930
- Sounds like a great guy...
- Wasn't finished.

1512
01:13:48,731 --> 01:13:50,335
Showed up when
it mattered the most.

1513
01:13:52,570 --> 01:13:54,238
Couldn't help it.

1514
01:13:57,574 --> 01:13:58,909
You might not know it, but...

1515
01:13:59,810 --> 01:14:01,246
you're a good man, Logan.

1516
01:14:03,281 --> 01:14:04,949
You might not know it,
but apparently,

1517
01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:06,383
I'm the worst Logan.

1518
01:14:08,218 --> 01:14:10,121
I got to have a life
because of you.

1519
01:14:13,024 --> 01:14:14,758
I got to grow up because of you.

1520
01:14:16,759 --> 01:14:18,328
A lot of kids did.

1521
01:14:18,362 --> 01:14:20,498
A lot of kids didn't grow up
because of me.

1522
01:14:22,699 --> 01:14:24,302
Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.

1523
01:14:25,636 --> 01:14:27,704
That suit says different.

1524
01:14:27,738 --> 01:14:29,873
Yeah. Do you like it?

1525
01:14:31,743 --> 01:14:33,443
Scott used to beg me to wear it.

1526
01:14:35,713 --> 01:14:38,316
So did Jean, Storm, Beast.

1527
01:14:40,384 --> 01:14:42,420
All of them.

1528
01:14:42,453 --> 01:14:46,190
They wanted me to be part
of the team, but I wouldn't.

1529
01:14:46,224 --> 01:14:49,526
Told 'em they all look
fucking ridiculous. I mean...

1530
01:14:51,362 --> 01:14:54,131
I couldn't have 'em thinkin'
I wanted to be there.

1531
01:14:59,802 --> 01:15:01,839
And then one day,
while I was off on my own,

1532
01:15:01,873 --> 01:15:03,140
the humans came...

1533
01:15:03,708 --> 01:15:05,143
and went mutant hunting.

1534
01:15:06,410 --> 01:15:07,577
I can guess the rest.

1535
01:15:07,611 --> 01:15:08,812
No, no, let me...

1536
01:15:10,047 --> 01:15:11,248
Let me say it. I...

1537
01:15:13,851 --> 01:15:15,053
I need to say it.

1538
01:15:17,522 --> 01:15:20,190
By the time I stumbled home
shitfaced from the bar,

1539
01:15:20,223 --> 01:15:21,525
it was too late.

1540
01:15:25,330 --> 01:15:27,030
They were dead. Every...

1541
01:15:33,104 --> 01:15:36,273
This suit's all I got to
remind me of who they were.

1542
01:15:38,275 --> 01:15:39,309
And what I did.

1543
01:15:52,289 --> 01:15:54,092
We're headed to Cassandra's
at sunup.

1544
01:15:54,892 --> 01:15:56,928
Have fun. Not my fight.

1545
01:16:00,163 --> 01:16:01,898
We won't pull this off
without you.

1546
01:16:08,672 --> 01:16:12,175
Hey. Whoever you think I am,
you got the wrong guy.

1547
01:16:14,946 --> 01:16:16,613
You were always the wrong guy.

1548
01:16:42,372 --> 01:16:43,206
What?

1549
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:45,543
Alioth didn't get them.

1550
01:16:45,576 --> 01:16:48,245
Cassandra wanted to
play with them herself first.

1551
01:16:48,278 --> 01:16:49,112
They got away.

1552
01:16:49,146 --> 01:16:50,781
- Did they find the others?
- No.

1553
01:16:50,815 --> 01:16:52,181
Good. All right.

1554
01:16:52,215 --> 01:16:54,285
- The others found them.
- Oh, very cute.

1555
01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:56,187
Well done, Pyro.
Classic bait and switch.

1556
01:16:56,220 --> 01:16:58,722
- You really got me there.
- Relax.

1557
01:16:58,755 --> 01:17:01,091
If they come after Nova,
she'll handle it.

1558
01:17:01,124 --> 01:17:03,260
Cassandra is
a lunatic wild card.

1559
01:17:03,293 --> 01:17:05,429
Why do you think we put her
there in the first place?

1560
01:17:05,462 --> 01:17:07,565
Thank God she's never chosen
to leave The Void.

1561
01:17:07,598 --> 01:17:10,500
The Time Ripper is hours away
from completion.

1562
01:17:10,534 --> 01:17:11,635
I cannot take any chances.

1563
01:17:11,668 --> 01:17:12,803
Well, maybe not.

1564
01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:14,272
But I can.

1565
01:17:14,305 --> 01:17:15,373
For a price.

1566
01:17:15,406 --> 01:17:16,807
Why do you have to
say it in that silly voice?

1567
01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:18,142
It's so icky.

1568
01:17:18,176 --> 01:17:20,011
- You want it done or not?
- All right. Your price.

1569
01:17:20,044 --> 01:17:21,545
Take her out.

1570
01:17:22,078 --> 01:17:24,214
Mutants.

1571
01:17:45,938 --> 01:17:47,071
Look at that there!

1572
01:17:47,104 --> 01:17:48,338
You see them biggum hands
come closed.

1573
01:17:48,371 --> 01:17:49,941
Ain't not a wonna gettin' up
inside there.

1574
01:17:49,973 --> 01:17:51,208
I think what
Gambit's trying to say is

1575
01:17:51,241 --> 01:17:54,143
getting Juggernaut's helmet
ain't gonna be easy.

1576
01:17:54,176 --> 01:17:55,814
I'm just making
stuff up at this...

1577
01:17:55,848 --> 01:17:57,647
- Yeah. Tilt up to Blade.
- Gun!

1578
01:18:02,452 --> 01:18:04,154
Where'd he get
that little beauty?

1579
01:18:04,187 --> 01:18:06,257
That's Punisher's AT4.

1580
01:18:06,290 --> 01:18:08,692
Which Punisher? There's been,
like, five of them.

1581
01:18:08,726 --> 01:18:10,393
There's only been one Blade,

1582
01:18:10,427 --> 01:18:12,362
and there's only ever
gonna be one Blade.

1583
01:18:16,601 --> 01:18:17,735
Incoming!

1584
01:19:24,367 --> 01:19:26,603
Ooh, this is gonna be good.

1585
01:19:26,636 --> 01:19:29,140
You know how long
I've been waiting for this?

1586
01:19:29,173 --> 01:19:31,408
I'm about to make
a name for myself here.

1587
01:19:31,441 --> 01:19:33,410
I don't think you guys
walk away from this.

1588
01:19:33,443 --> 01:19:35,445
You just make sure people know
what happened here today.

1589
01:19:35,478 --> 01:19:37,647
And when you get out of here,
you have a drink for me, yeah?

1590
01:19:37,682 --> 01:19:40,150
You just stay on our six
and get inside.

1591
01:19:40,183 --> 01:19:42,786
We'll make sure
you get the package.

1592
01:19:42,820 --> 01:19:44,055
And we'll get our ending.

1593
01:20:54,424 --> 01:20:55,258
And boom!

1594
01:21:26,689 --> 01:21:29,159
Some motherfuckers still
trying to ice skate uphill.

1595
01:21:36,198 --> 01:21:38,401
You two escaping,
I could live with.

1596
01:21:38,435 --> 01:21:41,371
But coming back? Willingly?

1597
01:21:42,873 --> 01:21:44,574
Boys are so silly.

1598
01:21:44,607 --> 01:21:45,741
I just need to get home.

1599
01:21:45,774 --> 01:21:48,377
Well, that's not on the menu,
I'm afraid.

1600
01:21:48,410 --> 01:21:51,916
It's death or enslavement.
A la carte, of course.

1601
01:21:51,949 --> 01:21:53,483
Upsy-daisy.

1602
01:21:58,688 --> 01:21:59,689
Finally,

1603
01:21:59,722 --> 01:22:01,859
it's nice to give someone else
a chance to talk.

1604
01:22:01,892 --> 01:22:03,727
Not my strong suit.

1605
01:22:21,479 --> 01:22:22,847
You shouldn't have done that.

1606
01:22:42,665 --> 01:22:43,901
Adios, pendejo.

1607
01:22:46,336 --> 01:22:49,305
You are an interesting one,
aren't you?

1608
01:22:49,339 --> 01:22:52,442
I do feel like you get lost
behind all of his...

1609
01:22:55,578 --> 01:22:58,380
Deadpools are a dime a dozen
here in The Void.

1610
01:22:59,149 --> 01:23:01,017
But you...

1611
01:23:01,050 --> 01:23:04,054
What's going on in here?

1612
01:23:13,596 --> 01:23:14,999
Logan!

1613
01:23:17,499 --> 01:23:18,802
Interesting...

1614
01:23:19,937 --> 01:23:21,838
Not what I expected back here.

1615
01:23:22,940 --> 01:23:24,307
Behind the anger.

1616
01:23:28,144 --> 01:23:29,445
You're hiding.

1617
01:23:29,479 --> 01:23:31,414
From them.

1618
01:23:31,446 --> 01:23:33,383
From all the ones you let down.

1619
01:23:35,920 --> 01:23:37,087
So much pain.

1620
01:23:39,756 --> 01:23:41,958
I walked away.

1621
01:23:41,991 --> 01:23:43,726
They called after me and I...

1622
01:23:43,760 --> 01:23:44,895
I walked away.

1623
01:23:45,996 --> 01:23:47,097
I always do.

1624
01:23:47,131 --> 01:23:48,398
- Logan!
- I know.

1625
01:23:50,466 --> 01:23:51,968
That's not all you did.

1626
01:23:52,734 --> 01:23:53,570
Is it?

1627
01:23:57,007 --> 01:23:58,508
You found them.

1628
01:23:59,310 --> 01:24:00,509
The X-Men.

1629
01:24:05,850 --> 01:24:06,683
Dead.

1630
01:24:09,452 --> 01:24:10,820
Piled like wood.

1631
01:24:12,388 --> 01:24:13,790
What did you do?

1632
01:24:16,293 --> 01:24:18,262
I started killing.

1633
01:24:18,295 --> 01:24:20,898
And I couldn't stop.
I didn't wanna stop.

1634
01:24:22,131 --> 01:24:24,869
All those bad men.

1635
01:24:28,605 --> 01:24:30,473
It's not just the bad ones.

1636
01:24:32,008 --> 01:24:33,142
My little animal.

1637
01:24:35,846 --> 01:24:38,882
And I turned the whole world
against the X-Men.

1638
01:24:39,183 --> 01:24:40,383
Blade!

1639
01:24:45,856 --> 01:24:47,024
Just once...

1640
01:24:48,791 --> 01:24:51,628
I wanna be the man
that Charles thought I was.

1641
01:24:52,794 --> 01:24:53,897
Logan...

1642
01:24:55,366 --> 01:24:59,103
in The Void,
you can be what you are.

1643
01:25:01,437 --> 01:25:03,007
I just wanna be free.

1644
01:25:03,639 --> 01:25:05,408
I can set you free.

1645
01:25:16,719 --> 01:25:22,026
I can silence all those voices.

1646
01:25:28,899 --> 01:25:29,900
I've got you.

1647
01:25:32,402 --> 01:25:33,603
I've got you.

1648
01:25:34,170 --> 01:25:35,172
No.

1649
01:25:36,439 --> 01:25:37,674
I got you.

1650
01:25:45,448 --> 01:25:47,817
Get it off!

1651
01:25:47,851 --> 01:25:49,320
You're gonna send us home,

1652
01:25:49,353 --> 01:25:50,888
or I'm gonna twist
your fucking head off.

1653
01:25:50,921 --> 01:25:52,554
Why are you laughing?

1654
01:25:53,089 --> 01:25:54,357
I can't send you home

1655
01:25:54,390 --> 01:25:57,361
unless you get this thing
off my head.

1656
01:25:57,393 --> 01:25:58,628
And as soon as you do that,

1657
01:25:58,661 --> 01:26:01,365
I'm going to boil your brains
on an atomic level

1658
01:26:01,398 --> 01:26:04,400
whilst flicking my bean
to the Enya box set.

1659
01:26:04,434 --> 01:26:05,600
There's an Enya box set?

1660
01:26:05,634 --> 01:26:07,137
Either you kill me

1661
01:26:07,171 --> 01:26:08,471
or I kill you.

1662
01:26:09,340 --> 01:26:11,342
Both wonderful options.

1663
01:26:11,374 --> 01:26:12,574
You want me to do it?

1664
01:26:12,607 --> 01:26:13,642
No, I'll do it.

1665
01:26:13,676 --> 01:26:15,011
I have
her neck right here.

1666
01:26:15,044 --> 01:26:16,713
- It's really no problem.
- You'll screw it up.

1667
01:26:16,746 --> 01:26:18,315
Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13,

1668
01:26:18,348 --> 01:26:19,382
except the last one!

1669
01:26:19,416 --> 01:26:21,551
What the fuck?

1670
01:26:22,751 --> 01:26:25,021
You have no idea

1671
01:26:25,054 --> 01:26:26,124
what it's like!

1672
01:26:26,157 --> 01:26:29,093
Day after day.
Shovel the shit.

1673
01:26:29,126 --> 01:26:30,792
Fetch the meats.

1674
01:26:30,827 --> 01:26:33,796
I have spent my entire exis...

1675
01:26:35,597 --> 01:26:37,201
Not everyone gets a speech.

1676
01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:40,070
She's gonna die.

1677
01:26:40,104 --> 01:26:41,671
Okay. Hey, hey.
If I take this helmet off,

1678
01:26:41,704 --> 01:26:43,474
do you promise
you won't kill us?

1679
01:26:43,506 --> 01:26:44,639
- Fuck!
- I promise...

1680
01:26:44,673 --> 01:26:46,342
I will kill you first thing.

1681
01:26:46,376 --> 01:26:48,245
Why are you like this?

1682
01:26:48,278 --> 01:26:49,579
I wish I knew.

1683
01:26:49,612 --> 01:26:50,813
- Take it off.
- What?

1684
01:26:50,847 --> 01:26:52,049
- Take it off.
- Why?

1685
01:26:52,082 --> 01:26:53,515
- Just take it off.
- This is our only chance

1686
01:26:53,548 --> 01:26:55,684
- to fix our shit!
- Take it off!

1687
01:26:57,421 --> 01:26:59,756
I am wearing this suit.

1688
01:26:59,789 --> 01:27:02,091
And that means a lot of
things, but most of all...

1689
01:27:03,494 --> 01:27:04,793
it means I'm an X-Man.

1690
01:27:05,694 --> 01:27:07,232
And I know your brother.

1691
01:27:09,500 --> 01:27:10,900
As much as I want
to fucking kill you,

1692
01:27:10,933 --> 01:27:13,735
every bone in my body
wants to fucking kill you,

1693
01:27:13,769 --> 01:27:16,973
he would not let me stand here
and watch you die!

1694
01:27:19,343 --> 01:27:20,710
Take your hands off.

1695
01:27:22,245 --> 01:27:23,646
This is for him.

1696
01:27:25,381 --> 01:27:26,782
This is for Charles.

1697
01:27:36,526 --> 01:27:38,295
Hey, no, no, no!

1698
01:27:38,328 --> 01:27:39,930
Don't you dare
do me like Johnny!

1699
01:27:46,269 --> 01:27:47,336
My brother loved you.

1700
01:27:49,238 --> 01:27:50,307
He loved all of us.

1701
01:27:53,377 --> 01:27:54,643
Must be nice.

1702
01:27:55,545 --> 01:27:56,980
He would've loved you too.

1703
01:27:59,682 --> 01:28:01,018
If he knew about you...

1704
01:28:02,651 --> 01:28:04,054
if he knew where you were,

1705
01:28:04,087 --> 01:28:06,355
he would've torn a hole
in the fucking universe

1706
01:28:06,389 --> 01:28:07,622
to bring you home.

1707
01:28:11,294 --> 01:28:12,362
This is my home.

1708
01:28:13,430 --> 01:28:15,832
Well, then at least
let us save his.

1709
01:28:19,769 --> 01:28:21,371
You want to hear
something crazy?

1710
01:28:23,140 --> 01:28:26,242
An amateur magician rolled
through here a while back.

1711
01:28:27,176 --> 01:28:29,079
I killed him, of course.

1712
01:28:29,113 --> 01:28:31,714
Wore his skin around
for four days.

1713
01:28:32,382 --> 01:28:33,417
But

1714
01:28:33,450 --> 01:28:35,184
I found this

1715
01:28:35,218 --> 01:28:37,187
little trinket

1716
01:28:37,221 --> 01:28:39,423
on his lovely fingers.

1717
01:28:39,456 --> 01:28:40,789
Strange!

1718
01:28:43,658 --> 01:28:45,963
- Marvel sparkle circle.
- What is that?

1719
01:28:46,695 --> 01:28:48,730
This is your way home.

1720
01:28:48,763 --> 01:28:50,800
I do owe you for saving my life.

1721
01:28:50,834 --> 01:28:52,435
But let's keep
things interesting.

1722
01:28:52,469 --> 01:28:54,371
I'd say you have
about four seconds

1723
01:28:54,404 --> 01:28:55,905
before you're Alioth's food.

1724
01:28:59,943 --> 01:29:01,245
Race ya.

1725
01:30:24,894 --> 01:30:26,829
And as I said, we've
got a standard three-year

1726
01:30:26,862 --> 01:30:28,364
bumper to bumper warranty.

1727
01:30:28,397 --> 01:30:30,099
Glad you gave us
a second chance.

1728
01:30:30,132 --> 01:30:31,867
And don't worry.
Wade and I are a team,

1729
01:30:31,901 --> 01:30:33,403
so I'll see he gets
half the commission...

1730
01:30:36,239 --> 01:30:38,441
That feels like a Kia.

1731
01:30:38,474 --> 01:30:41,177
It's a fucking Kia Carnival,
isn't it?

1732
01:30:42,345 --> 01:30:45,315
Holy shit. That's Deadpool.

1733
01:30:45,349 --> 01:30:46,550
And that's Wolverine.

1734
01:30:46,583 --> 01:30:47,650
You're damn straight it is.

1735
01:30:47,683 --> 01:30:48,718
Fox killed him.

1736
01:30:48,750 --> 01:30:49,952
Disney brought him back.

1737
01:30:49,986 --> 01:30:51,487
They're going to make him
do this till he's 90.

1738
01:30:52,122 --> 01:30:53,689
Let's go.

1739
01:30:53,723 --> 01:30:55,259
I'll clock you out!

1740
01:30:55,292 --> 01:30:56,459
Forever!

1741
01:30:57,226 --> 01:30:58,327
Forever.

1742
01:31:05,569 --> 01:31:06,603
Wakey-wakey.

1743
01:31:06,637 --> 01:31:08,405
God?

1744
01:31:09,672 --> 01:31:12,975
Now, you put all these bullets
in my belly,

1745
01:31:13,009 --> 01:31:14,844
and I'm gonna find out why.

1746
01:31:17,180 --> 01:31:19,015
I'll just say it.

1747
01:31:19,048 --> 01:31:20,883
You don't have to stick
your fingers in me.

1748
01:31:20,916 --> 01:31:23,419
Jesus, just ask sometimes.

1749
01:31:23,720 --> 01:31:24,955
Fine.

1750
01:31:26,122 --> 01:31:27,123
Really?

1751
01:31:27,658 --> 01:31:28,858
Hands in pockets.

1752
01:31:30,493 --> 01:31:32,528
Guy named Paradox.

1753
01:31:32,561 --> 01:31:33,764
He said he'd get me
out of The Void.

1754
01:31:33,796 --> 01:31:36,033
All I know is
he works for the TVA.

1755
01:31:36,066 --> 01:31:36,967
The TVA.

1756
01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:38,434
We had an agreement.

1757
01:31:38,467 --> 01:31:40,369
I don't think this guy cares.

1758
01:31:40,403 --> 01:31:42,371
He will.

1759
01:31:42,772 --> 01:31:44,041
Hey, people!

1760
01:31:44,074 --> 01:31:46,242
How much longer before
the Time Ripper is active?

1761
01:31:46,275 --> 01:31:48,210
We're running
the final safety checks.

1762
01:31:48,244 --> 01:31:50,513
Oh, okay. All right. Thanks
for all your hard work, Ralph.

1763
01:31:50,546 --> 01:31:52,014
- Take your time.
- Really?

1764
01:31:52,048 --> 01:31:53,750
No, you drooling boob!

1765
01:31:53,784 --> 01:31:55,084
No! We have company.

1766
01:31:55,117 --> 01:31:58,454
Cancel the safety checks.
We need to be live now!

1767
01:31:58,487 --> 01:32:00,122
Oh, I hate you so much.

1768
01:32:02,191 --> 01:32:03,025
No! Stop!

1769
01:32:03,059 --> 01:32:04,928
Piss off! You're too late.

1770
01:32:04,961 --> 01:32:06,830
- You're fuckin' done.
- Why was Thor crying?

1771
01:32:06,863 --> 01:32:07,897
How dare you!

1772
01:32:07,930 --> 01:32:10,467
No one comes back from The Void.

1773
01:32:10,500 --> 01:32:12,068
Tell that to Cassandra Nova.

1774
01:32:20,743 --> 01:32:22,878
Paradox. We have a problem.

1775
01:32:25,648 --> 01:32:27,017
Paradox.

1776
01:32:29,185 --> 01:32:31,754
Well, you are doughier than
you looked in Pyro's head.

1777
01:32:31,787 --> 01:32:33,022
You tried to kill me.

1778
01:32:33,055 --> 01:32:34,990
I literally have no i...

1779
01:32:35,024 --> 01:32:36,859
You come for the king,

1780
01:32:36,892 --> 01:32:38,761
you better kill the king.

1781
01:32:39,929 --> 01:32:42,131
Welcome to
the skull fuck club, Paradox.

1782
01:32:42,164 --> 01:32:44,700
You know she doesn't
wash that hand.

1783
01:32:46,236 --> 01:32:47,336
What's this?

1784
01:32:48,604 --> 01:32:49,806
A Time Ripper?

1785
01:32:49,840 --> 01:32:50,873
Naughty boy.

1786
01:32:50,906 --> 01:32:52,274
Oh, no.
We're on it.

1787
01:32:52,308 --> 01:32:53,642
We're gonna head down
and dismantle that thing now.

1788
01:32:53,676 --> 01:32:56,078
We got ya, boo. You just
keep playing those keys.

1789
01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:57,913
I don't want to destroy it.

1790
01:32:58,448 --> 01:33:00,116
I want to use it.

1791
01:33:00,149 --> 01:33:02,951
Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy
are having a conversation.

1792
01:33:09,525 --> 01:33:11,460
You know, the funny thing is,

1793
01:33:11,494 --> 01:33:13,662
I was happy in The Void.

1794
01:33:13,696 --> 01:33:16,932
You sent your trash to me.
Alioth and I cleaned it up.

1795
01:33:16,966 --> 01:33:19,602
Everyone was happy.

1796
01:33:19,635 --> 01:33:23,005
And then you had to go and
piss on my side of the fence.

1797
01:33:23,037 --> 01:33:25,908
And so now the fence
must come down.

1798
01:33:25,941 --> 01:33:27,911
I'm going to use
your little Time Ripper.

1799
01:33:27,944 --> 01:33:30,713
And I'm going to destroy
this universe

1800
01:33:30,746 --> 01:33:33,416
and the next and the next
and the next

1801
01:33:33,449 --> 01:33:37,119
until all that's left
is The Void.

1802
01:33:37,153 --> 01:33:39,722
And I get to play God.

1803
01:33:39,755 --> 01:33:41,090
Come on.

1804
01:33:41,123 --> 01:33:42,291
Now you're going to show me

1805
01:33:42,324 --> 01:33:43,993
how to use
this fancy gadget of yours.

1806
01:33:44,025 --> 01:33:45,995
And don't worry,
I've called some friends

1807
01:33:46,028 --> 01:33:47,630
to make sure
we're not disturbed.

1808
01:33:50,800 --> 01:33:52,067
Sorry to bother, madam,

1809
01:33:52,101 --> 01:33:54,136
but there's something
you need to see.

1810
01:33:54,170 --> 01:33:56,606
We're getting indications
of an unsanctioned Time Ripper

1811
01:33:56,640 --> 01:33:58,974
activating on Earth-10005.

1812
01:34:00,610 --> 01:34:01,977
Whose district is that?

1813
01:34:02,578 --> 01:34:03,579
Paradox.

1814
01:34:15,057 --> 01:34:17,326
Well, thank you so much
for your help, darling.

1815
01:34:17,359 --> 01:34:19,563
God. Good to get out
of that head.

1816
01:34:19,596 --> 01:34:21,630
What a mess!

1817
01:34:29,104 --> 01:34:30,240
Stop!

1818
01:34:30,273 --> 01:34:32,274
Let's give it a beat
for the extras to clear.

1819
01:34:32,308 --> 01:34:34,543
Go, go, go, go, go!
Oh, my God!

1820
01:34:39,181 --> 01:34:42,117
- Oh. My. God.
- Fuck.

1821
01:34:49,725 --> 01:34:51,360
It's her!

1822
01:34:52,228 --> 01:34:54,296
Come on, girl!

1823
01:35:00,872 --> 01:35:02,238
Come on, girl!

1824
01:35:16,619 --> 01:35:17,821
That's my girl!

1825
01:35:17,854 --> 01:35:19,288
We don't have to be apart

1826
01:35:19,321 --> 01:35:21,323
ever, ever again.
Never, ever...

1827
01:35:21,357 --> 01:35:22,726
- Sorry!
- Fuck!

1828
01:35:23,827 --> 01:35:25,561
What's Cafe Gratitude
doing here?

1829
01:35:25,594 --> 01:35:27,096
Sorry about that.

1830
01:35:27,128 --> 01:35:29,265
Tremble not,
sweet Mary Puppins.

1831
01:35:29,298 --> 01:35:31,066
I'll handle him.

1832
01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:32,434
Come here, girl.
Papa's here.

1833
01:35:32,468 --> 01:35:35,337
Hey, do not insult
this animal's autonomy.

1834
01:35:35,371 --> 01:35:37,705
She can decide who her papa is.

1835
01:35:37,739 --> 01:35:38,875
What's it gonna be, girl, huh?

1836
01:35:38,909 --> 01:35:41,310
Original recipe
or Van Milder here?

1837
01:35:41,343 --> 01:35:45,480
Ah, that's funny. I can gently
tap the fourth wall too.

1838
01:35:45,513 --> 01:35:46,649
The Proposal.

1839
01:35:48,116 --> 01:35:49,251
The fuck was that?

1840
01:35:49,285 --> 01:35:50,921
Bitch, you think
that's what I do?

1841
01:35:50,954 --> 01:35:52,221
Both of you shut up.

1842
01:35:52,254 --> 01:35:54,056
You smell somethin'?

1843
01:35:54,089 --> 01:35:55,123
Yeah, you.

1844
01:35:55,156 --> 01:35:57,493
A lot of you.

1845
01:36:12,641 --> 01:36:15,045
Told you there were
a lot of Deadpools over there.

1846
01:36:26,688 --> 01:36:27,824
That's bad.

1847
01:36:50,245 --> 01:36:51,648
I take it they're not friendly.

1848
01:36:51,681 --> 01:36:52,548
Goodness, no.

1849
01:36:52,581 --> 01:36:54,650
Sorry about this, boys.
Mission over.

1850
01:36:54,683 --> 01:36:57,753
Cause of death, one hundred
kill-thirsty Deadpools.

1851
01:36:57,786 --> 01:36:58,621
They're dumb.

1852
01:36:58,654 --> 01:37:00,490
But they can fight.
Not me though.

1853
01:37:00,523 --> 01:37:03,193
Would love to get in the mix,
but I have low bone density

1854
01:37:03,226 --> 01:37:05,095
and I have to keep my face safe.

1855
01:37:05,127 --> 01:37:06,395
Hold, please.

1856
01:37:06,428 --> 01:37:08,297
- Oh, God.
- All right. Look.

1857
01:37:08,831 --> 01:37:09,833
Guys!

1858
01:37:11,002 --> 01:37:12,702
Deadpool Prime here.

1859
01:37:12,736 --> 01:37:14,303
- Our fight isn't with you...
- Hey!

1860
01:37:14,336 --> 01:37:15,771
When I want your opinion,

1861
01:37:15,804 --> 01:37:18,139
I'll take Wolverine's dick
out of your mouth.

1862
01:37:18,172 --> 01:37:19,942
That's Kidpool.
She's the dirtiest.

1863
01:37:19,975 --> 01:37:21,143
Can we just be done?

1864
01:37:21,176 --> 01:37:23,046
Ooh, we're just getting started.

1865
01:37:23,079 --> 01:37:24,114
No, no, no, no, no.

1866
01:37:24,146 --> 01:37:26,615
With the whole multiverse thing.

1867
01:37:27,549 --> 01:37:28,884
It's not great.

1868
01:37:28,917 --> 01:37:30,252
It's just been miss

1869
01:37:30,619 --> 01:37:32,122
after miss

1870
01:37:32,154 --> 01:37:34,189
after miss.

1871
01:37:34,223 --> 01:37:36,524
Look, The Wizard of Oz
did the multiverse first,

1872
01:37:36,557 --> 01:37:39,394
and they did it best.
The gays knew it.

1873
01:37:39,427 --> 01:37:40,629
But we didn't listen.

1874
01:37:40,663 --> 01:37:43,666
Let's just take the L
and move on.

1875
01:37:43,699 --> 01:37:46,268
I think it's been
steadily great since Endgame.

1876
01:37:46,301 --> 01:37:47,870
What are you talking about?

1877
01:37:47,903 --> 01:37:49,471
The multiverse is over.

1878
01:37:49,505 --> 01:37:50,772
Cassandy gonna destroy

1879
01:37:50,805 --> 01:37:52,508
the fuck outta every timeline.

1880
01:37:52,541 --> 01:37:54,010
Y'all can't do shit
about it.

1881
01:37:54,044 --> 01:37:55,078
Do you not get it?

1882
01:37:55,111 --> 01:37:56,211
If we don't go down
to the subway

1883
01:37:56,245 --> 01:37:57,279
and stop her, we all die.

1884
01:37:57,312 --> 01:37:58,413
Say, the boss lady

1885
01:37:58,446 --> 01:37:59,615
don't want no disturbances.

1886
01:37:59,648 --> 01:38:01,417
You wanna get down
to the subway,

1887
01:38:01,450 --> 01:38:02,718
you gotta go through us.

1888
01:38:02,751 --> 01:38:03,987
Uzi time, baby.

1889
01:38:04,020 --> 01:38:05,055
Uzi time, baby.

1890
01:38:05,088 --> 01:38:06,388
Look alive!

1891
01:38:15,597 --> 01:38:17,399
- I think I'm hit.
- No shit.

1892
01:38:17,433 --> 01:38:18,466
You did that on purpose.

1893
01:38:18,499 --> 01:38:20,234
I did no such thing!

1894
01:38:20,268 --> 01:38:21,436
Listen to me, gorgeous.

1895
01:38:21,469 --> 01:38:22,906
How long does it take
for you to regenerate?

1896
01:38:22,939 --> 01:38:24,339
Regenerate?

1897
01:38:30,412 --> 01:38:32,248
You really are God's
perfect idiot, aren't you?

1898
01:38:32,282 --> 01:38:33,682
- I'm okay.
- How dare you!

1899
01:38:33,716 --> 01:38:35,751
You insensitive son of a bitch!

1900
01:38:35,784 --> 01:38:37,954
How was I supposed to know
he doesn't regenerate?

1901
01:38:37,987 --> 01:38:39,487
I'm not a medicine woman.

1902
01:38:39,520 --> 01:38:41,858
Look. A donut cart.
They're practically hospitals.

1903
01:38:41,891 --> 01:38:42,759
- What?
- They sell

1904
01:38:42,792 --> 01:38:44,226
- portable triage units.
- They don't.

1905
01:38:44,259 --> 01:38:45,394
I'm gonna
get you to safety.

1906
01:38:45,427 --> 01:38:47,361
- He's not.
- Deep breath.

1907
01:38:55,471 --> 01:38:57,573
Hey, why are we stopping?

1908
01:38:57,606 --> 01:38:58,908
I'm just catching my breath.

1909
01:38:58,942 --> 01:39:01,878
What, are your legs on vacation?
You're dead weight!

1910
01:39:01,911 --> 01:39:03,479
That's because I'm paralyzed.

1911
01:39:03,512 --> 01:39:05,815
We all have problems.
Listen to me.

1912
01:39:05,849 --> 01:39:06,850
You're gonna live.

1913
01:39:07,951 --> 01:39:09,151
Look at me, Nicepool.

1914
01:39:13,123 --> 01:39:14,456
You're gonna live.

1915
01:39:15,024 --> 01:39:16,425
Say it!

1916
01:39:16,860 --> 01:39:18,393
I'm gonna live.

1917
01:39:18,427 --> 01:39:20,495
Say it with me.
You're gonna live.

1918
01:39:20,528 --> 01:39:22,697
I'm gonna live!

1919
01:39:22,730 --> 01:39:26,268
Say it louder!

1920
01:39:26,301 --> 01:39:27,636
I'm gonna live...

1921
01:39:36,378 --> 01:39:37,913
Hold your fire!

1922
01:39:39,848 --> 01:39:41,283
Sweet little puppy.

1923
01:39:51,292 --> 01:39:52,794
God damn it!

1924
01:39:52,828 --> 01:39:54,931
I don't think
he's gonna make it.

1925
01:39:54,964 --> 01:39:56,665
God, he loved his face.

1926
01:39:56,698 --> 01:39:59,269
I can taste his final thought.

1927
01:39:59,301 --> 01:40:00,936
He was so afraid.

1928
01:40:00,969 --> 01:40:02,138
But he died a hero.

1929
01:40:02,172 --> 01:40:04,207
He died from murder,
you dumb fuck.

1930
01:40:04,240 --> 01:40:06,075
And all I have
to remember him by

1931
01:40:07,010 --> 01:40:08,744
are these two gold-plated,

1932
01:40:08,777 --> 01:40:11,047
.50 caliber Desert Eagle
pistoleros.

1933
01:40:11,080 --> 01:40:12,080
This is for him.

1934
01:40:12,781 --> 01:40:14,349
Are you ready?

1935
01:40:14,383 --> 01:40:16,286
I get to kill a hundred yous?

1936
01:40:16,318 --> 01:40:17,686
Fuck yeah, I'm ready.

1937
01:40:18,554 --> 01:40:20,088
Hey, you don't want
to see this, bub.

1938
01:40:20,122 --> 01:40:21,356
That's a good girl.

1939
01:40:58,161 --> 01:40:59,728
Holy shit.

1940
01:40:59,761 --> 01:41:02,130
You save the good stuff
for special occasions?

1941
01:41:02,164 --> 01:41:03,498
Killing, mostly.

1942
01:41:03,532 --> 01:41:04,632
What's the wind resistance

1943
01:41:04,665 --> 01:41:05,767
on those blowjob handles?

1944
01:41:05,801 --> 01:41:07,837
I'm sorry.

1945
01:41:07,871 --> 01:41:10,505
I'm just a catty bitch
when I'm jealous.

1946
01:41:10,539 --> 01:41:12,208
All right, let's do this.

1947
01:41:12,242 --> 01:41:13,608
Maximum effort.

1948
01:41:53,182 --> 01:41:54,415
You're dead.

1949
01:42:20,176 --> 01:42:21,575
Motherfucker.

1950
01:42:22,311 --> 01:42:23,813
I wish I were deaf.

1951
01:42:43,799 --> 01:42:45,800
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.

1952
01:42:45,834 --> 01:42:46,935
I don't wanna...

1953
01:43:00,482 --> 01:43:01,884
Come on.

1954
01:43:01,918 --> 01:43:03,019
Oh, I blew it.

1955
01:43:03,052 --> 01:43:05,153
After all that, the only thing
they're gonna remember

1956
01:43:05,187 --> 01:43:07,022
is that God-awful dismount!

1957
01:43:11,693 --> 01:43:13,396
What you laughing at,
you little fucker?

1958
01:43:20,203 --> 01:43:21,870
I guess these ones regenerate.

1959
01:43:23,771 --> 01:43:26,375
Come on.
We don't have time for this.

1960
01:43:26,408 --> 01:43:27,442
Deadpools!

1961
01:43:27,476 --> 01:43:28,845
Stand down.

1962
01:43:39,255 --> 01:43:40,655
This Deadpool's with me.

1963
01:43:40,689 --> 01:43:42,158
Oh, no.

1964
01:43:42,191 --> 01:43:43,557
Holy shit.

1965
01:43:43,591 --> 01:43:45,161
That's fuckin' Peter!

1966
01:43:48,063 --> 01:43:49,932
Wait, you...
You guys know Peter?

1967
01:43:49,966 --> 01:43:52,035
You kidding me?
Every Deadpool has a Peter.

1968
01:43:52,068 --> 01:43:54,470
Shit.
Peter's a goddamn legend

1969
01:43:54,504 --> 01:43:56,038
in every Deadpool's world.

1970
01:43:56,071 --> 01:43:58,407
Peter-san. Hai.

1971
01:44:05,613 --> 01:44:07,615
Peter. Peter. Peter.

1972
01:44:07,648 --> 01:44:10,920
Peter. Peter. Peter.
Peter. Peter. Peter.

1973
01:44:10,953 --> 01:44:13,622
Peter. Peter. Peter.

1974
01:44:13,655 --> 01:44:15,290
Enjoy my Peter.

1975
01:44:42,717 --> 01:44:43,819
Oh, now you're here.

1976
01:44:43,852 --> 01:44:45,321
Oh, well, you're too late.
It's all over.

1977
01:44:45,354 --> 01:44:46,521
Not yet, it's not.

1978
01:44:46,555 --> 01:44:48,256
No, no, no.
We're very close.

1979
01:44:48,290 --> 01:44:49,657
Homestretch, folks. Promise.

1980
01:44:49,690 --> 01:44:51,394
Quick, let's up the stakes.

1981
01:44:51,427 --> 01:44:52,794
If she steals
the Time Ripper's energy,

1982
01:44:52,829 --> 01:44:55,464
she has the power to shred
the fabric of all realities

1983
01:44:55,497 --> 01:44:57,265
until there is nothing left
but The Void.

1984
01:44:57,299 --> 01:44:58,534
How do we shut it down?

1985
01:44:58,568 --> 01:44:59,733
I don't know.

1986
01:45:01,404 --> 01:45:02,637
How about now?

1987
01:45:02,671 --> 01:45:03,872
The mask
is really intimidating, huh?

1988
01:45:03,905 --> 01:45:06,209
It's like Batman,
except he can move his neck.

1989
01:45:06,242 --> 01:45:07,876
Okay, look, look, look.

1990
01:45:09,045 --> 01:45:11,613
The Ripper is fed from
a secure chamber below ground.

1991
01:45:11,646 --> 01:45:14,682
It is powered by twin matter
and anti-matter feeds

1992
01:45:14,715 --> 01:45:16,151
converging inside the device.

1993
01:45:16,184 --> 01:45:17,018
Now, Cassandra Nova

1994
01:45:17,052 --> 01:45:18,353
is redirecting
the Ripper's power

1995
01:45:18,386 --> 01:45:20,722
to eliminate all timelines,
starting with this one.

1996
01:45:20,755 --> 01:45:22,125
Theoretically,
you could stop her

1997
01:45:22,158 --> 01:45:24,126
by short-circuiting the feeds
in the chamber below.

1998
01:45:24,159 --> 01:45:26,760
One of you were to create a
circuit between the two feeds,

1999
01:45:26,794 --> 01:45:30,098
then the released power
would destroy the machine.

2000
01:45:30,132 --> 01:45:31,933
- But, well... But...
- Come on, man.

2001
01:45:31,967 --> 01:45:34,070
If you're not gonna swallow,
spit it out.

2002
01:45:34,103 --> 01:45:37,439
Whoever formed the bridge
would be annihilated.

2003
01:45:37,472 --> 01:45:38,807
I could live with that.

2004
01:45:38,840 --> 01:45:40,175
Yeah, I could live
with that too actually.

2005
01:45:40,208 --> 01:45:41,676
You know, we survive anything.
We're like cockroaches.

2006
01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:42,612
Not this time.

2007
01:45:42,644 --> 01:45:45,013
This is matter and anti-matter.

2008
01:45:45,046 --> 01:45:47,082
They do not play nicely
with each other.

2009
01:45:47,115 --> 01:45:50,585
When they mix in your body,
you will be atomized.

2010
01:45:50,619 --> 01:45:52,687
Trust the laws of physics
if you don't trust me.

2011
01:45:52,721 --> 01:45:54,856
Even if you lived long enough
to make the circuit,

2012
01:45:54,890 --> 01:45:57,725
you will die down there.

2013
01:46:22,852 --> 01:46:24,419
Hold off. Hold.

2014
01:46:24,452 --> 01:46:25,955
You heard that asshole upstairs.

2015
01:46:25,988 --> 01:46:30,691
Even if we pull this off,
we're dead. Permanently.

2016
01:46:30,724 --> 01:46:32,962
- That's why it's got to be me.
- What?

2017
01:46:36,730 --> 01:46:38,732
Look, man...

2018
01:46:38,766 --> 01:46:41,102
you didn't ask for any of this.

2019
01:46:41,136 --> 01:46:42,470
You were right.

2020
01:46:42,505 --> 01:46:43,704
I lied.

2021
01:46:44,406 --> 01:46:46,075
I lied right to your face

2022
01:46:46,107 --> 01:46:48,210
just to get you to help me.
And you did.

2023
01:46:49,144 --> 01:46:50,711
You didn't lie.

2024
01:46:52,514 --> 01:46:54,015
You made an educated wish.

2025
01:46:57,085 --> 01:46:58,087
Come on.

2026
01:46:59,088 --> 01:47:01,089
You got a whole world
to go back to.

2027
01:47:02,591 --> 01:47:03,791
I got nothin'.

2028
01:47:05,727 --> 01:47:06,929
I got nothin'.

2029
01:47:11,799 --> 01:47:13,001
Give me this.

2030
01:47:20,041 --> 01:47:21,209
Hey.

2031
01:47:25,614 --> 01:47:27,482
I waited a long time
for this team-up.

2032
01:47:29,719 --> 01:47:30,986
You know something?

2033
01:47:32,721 --> 01:47:34,322
You were the best Wolverine.

2034
01:47:43,031 --> 01:47:45,067
Say hi to your friends for me.

2035
01:47:57,245 --> 01:47:58,280
No!

2036
01:47:58,313 --> 01:47:59,514
Open the door!

2037
01:47:59,547 --> 01:48:02,050
I can't hear you
over all the noble sacrifice.

2038
01:48:02,083 --> 01:48:03,685
Why are you fucking doing this?

2039
01:48:03,718 --> 01:48:06,821
Because I'm Marvel Jesus.

2040
01:48:08,390 --> 01:48:09,391
Or Spock.

2041
01:48:10,592 --> 01:48:11,626
Hard to say.

2042
01:48:16,298 --> 01:48:17,733
Wade!

2043
01:48:17,767 --> 01:48:19,934
You fucking idiot!

2044
01:48:23,804 --> 01:48:26,608
Sorry, I'm just stalling.

2045
01:48:26,641 --> 01:48:28,543
I think I'm nervous about dying.

2046
01:48:29,411 --> 01:48:31,046
This should be me.

2047
01:48:31,079 --> 01:48:32,881
Say hi to my friends
for me, peanut.

2048
01:48:32,914 --> 01:48:34,182
Wade!

2049
01:48:34,215 --> 01:48:36,217
You want to be an
annoying prick, do it this side!

2050
01:48:36,251 --> 01:48:38,486
You're gonna die in there,
you dumb fuck!

2051
01:48:45,261 --> 01:48:47,330
Hey! You don't need
to do this.

2052
01:48:47,363 --> 01:48:49,265
I'm not doing it
'cause I need it.

2053
01:48:50,099 --> 01:48:52,400
I'm doing it because they do.

2054
01:49:03,278 --> 01:49:04,479
No!

2055
01:49:33,775 --> 01:49:35,377
He's not gonna make it.

2056
01:49:43,952 --> 01:49:45,220
It's over.

2057
01:50:52,654 --> 01:50:54,122
The Wolverine.

2058
01:50:54,989 --> 01:50:57,024
He's a hero in my world.

2059
01:50:59,060 --> 01:51:00,196
Whoever you think I am,

2060
01:51:00,229 --> 01:51:01,663
you got the wrong guy.

2061
01:51:03,097 --> 01:51:05,099
You were always
the wrong guy...

2062
01:51:06,533 --> 01:51:07,568
till you weren't.

2063
01:51:10,071 --> 01:51:11,473
Wade.

2064
01:51:13,541 --> 01:51:18,011
Wade. You can finally,
finally matter.

2065
01:51:33,863 --> 01:51:35,129
Vanessa.

2066
01:51:37,699 --> 01:51:39,067
I wanna see Vanessa.

2067
01:51:45,607 --> 01:51:50,179
For the first time in my life,
I am proud to wear this suit.

2068
01:51:51,145 --> 01:51:53,081
It means I'm an X-Man.

2069
01:51:55,482 --> 01:51:56,952
I am the X-Man.

2070
01:52:41,030 --> 01:52:42,664
Paradox.

2071
01:52:44,532 --> 01:52:45,968
You've been busy.

2072
01:52:46,001 --> 01:52:47,235
Well, somebody had to be.

2073
01:52:47,268 --> 01:52:49,137
We had some strange readings
from this location.

2074
01:52:49,170 --> 01:52:50,371
You wouldn't know anything about

2075
01:52:50,405 --> 01:52:52,908
an unsanctioned Time Ripper,
would you?

2076
01:52:52,943 --> 01:52:54,542
No. No.
I wouldn't know anything

2077
01:52:54,576 --> 01:52:56,244
about an unsanctioned
Time Ripper.

2078
01:52:56,277 --> 01:52:57,980
Maybe you should ask
Cassandra Nova.

2079
01:52:58,013 --> 01:52:59,147
Because I was assured

2080
01:52:59,180 --> 01:53:01,584
that she was safely held
in The Void. But no,

2081
01:53:01,617 --> 01:53:03,852
she was here.
And she fondled my brain.

2082
01:53:03,886 --> 01:53:06,154
- How did you let this happen?
- You weren't involved at all?

2083
01:53:06,187 --> 01:53:08,890
In stopping her, yes!
Yes, I was.

2084
01:53:08,923 --> 01:53:10,458
But not nearly enough.

2085
01:53:10,491 --> 01:53:12,861
Not as much as the men
who went down there after her.

2086
01:53:13,595 --> 01:53:14,662
My men.

2087
01:53:15,463 --> 01:53:16,464
My friends.

2088
01:53:17,799 --> 01:53:18,968
I warned them.

2089
01:53:19,001 --> 01:53:20,467
That they would be completely
obliterated if they went.

2090
01:53:20,500 --> 01:53:22,236
But they went anyway. Like...

2091
01:53:23,872 --> 01:53:25,273
Like heroes.

2092
01:53:27,042 --> 01:53:28,776
Because that's who they were.

2093
01:53:31,480 --> 01:53:33,215
They just did
what they had to do.

2094
01:53:34,349 --> 01:53:36,217
With no concern
for their own safety.

2095
01:53:39,519 --> 01:53:43,058
The fact that we are
all still standing here

2096
01:53:43,092 --> 01:53:45,894
is a testament to their heroism.

2097
01:53:49,464 --> 01:53:50,898
Anyway, there's nothing
you or I can do

2098
01:53:50,932 --> 01:53:52,166
to bring them back now.

2099
01:53:53,635 --> 01:53:55,737
He has risen, baby girl.

2100
01:53:55,770 --> 01:53:56,839
Fuck!

2101
01:54:16,224 --> 01:54:17,425
Found your new Anchor Being.

2102
01:54:17,458 --> 01:54:20,261
And we're doing just fine,
you piece of shit.

2103
01:54:21,863 --> 01:54:23,331
Fine indeed.

2104
01:54:23,364 --> 01:54:26,267
All right.
Put your greasy tits away,

2105
01:54:26,300 --> 01:54:27,368
you preening slut.

2106
01:54:27,402 --> 01:54:29,872
I don't understand.

2107
01:54:29,905 --> 01:54:31,338
How are you two still alive?

2108
01:54:31,371 --> 01:54:33,241
You were right. One of us
would have been killed.

2109
01:54:33,274 --> 01:54:35,077
But you put a Deadpool

2110
01:54:35,110 --> 01:54:36,444
and a Wolverine together,

2111
01:54:36,477 --> 01:54:38,846
make 'em hold hands
while listening to Madonna...

2112
01:54:38,880 --> 01:54:41,315
indestructible, motherfucker.

2113
01:54:41,349 --> 01:54:43,418
Let's get this Deadpool Variant
back to The Void.

2114
01:54:43,451 --> 01:54:44,752
Wait, hold on.
What?

2115
01:54:44,786 --> 01:54:45,822
Nope. Actually...

2116
01:54:45,854 --> 01:54:47,587
This one's homegrown, like me.

2117
01:54:47,621 --> 01:54:48,924
He belongs here.

2118
01:54:48,957 --> 01:54:49,992
And you are?

2119
01:54:50,025 --> 01:54:52,760
Peterpool.
But you can call me Peter.

2120
01:54:54,262 --> 01:54:55,563
And I hope that you do.

2121
01:55:01,702 --> 01:55:03,336
What the fuck is happening here?

2122
01:55:03,371 --> 01:55:05,206
You are under judgment

2123
01:55:05,239 --> 01:55:07,241
for operating
an unsanctioned Time Ripper.

2124
01:55:07,275 --> 01:55:08,443
- Take him.
- I was just doing what

2125
01:55:08,476 --> 01:55:10,079
you don't have the guts to do.

2126
01:55:11,211 --> 01:55:13,982
Get your insolent hands
off me! Get off!

2127
01:55:15,184 --> 01:55:16,919
I'm grateful, gentlemen.

2128
01:55:17,785 --> 01:55:18,786
Let's hold the bows.

2129
01:55:18,821 --> 01:55:21,422
You led an Omega-level mutant
to this timeline.

2130
01:55:21,456 --> 01:55:23,125
- You're welcome.
- And you

2131
01:55:23,158 --> 01:55:24,625
shouldn't even be
near this timeline.

2132
01:55:24,659 --> 01:55:26,929
- He's welcome.
- And you

2133
01:55:26,962 --> 01:55:28,795
look damn good in that suit.

2134
01:55:28,830 --> 01:55:29,932
I'm so sorry.

2135
01:55:34,335 --> 01:55:35,971
I wanna show you something.

2136
01:55:37,039 --> 01:55:38,338
Something huge.

2137
01:55:38,371 --> 01:55:40,307
That's what
Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.

2138
01:55:41,809 --> 01:55:43,377
Do you see that?

2139
01:55:43,411 --> 01:55:45,279
Your universe is regenerating.

2140
01:55:46,148 --> 01:55:47,915
Whatever you did here,

2141
01:55:47,949 --> 01:55:50,251
you not only saved your world.

2142
01:55:50,284 --> 01:55:52,787
You spared your timeline
from extinction.

2143
01:55:54,655 --> 01:55:55,824
I'd rest up.

2144
01:55:55,858 --> 01:55:58,292
I have a feeling your work
is only just getting started.

2145
01:55:58,326 --> 01:56:00,661
Till you're 90.

2146
01:56:00,695 --> 01:56:02,430
Wait!

2147
01:56:02,463 --> 01:56:06,068
We couldn't have made it out
of The Void without some help

2148
01:56:06,101 --> 01:56:09,037
from some people
that the world kind of...

2149
01:56:09,071 --> 01:56:10,371
kind of forgot.

2150
01:56:10,404 --> 01:56:13,008
Is there any way that
you could maybe find a way

2151
01:56:13,041 --> 01:56:14,374
to bring them home?

2152
01:56:15,978 --> 01:56:17,311
I'll see what I can do.

2153
01:56:17,345 --> 01:56:19,848
And, I promised my friend here

2154
01:56:19,882 --> 01:56:22,650
that the TVA could undo
some pretty awful shit

2155
01:56:22,683 --> 01:56:23,551
in his timeline.

2156
01:56:23,584 --> 01:56:25,052
What would you say to that?

2157
01:56:25,086 --> 01:56:26,587
Change the past?

2158
01:56:26,621 --> 01:56:28,891
Well, he did
help me save the world.

2159
01:56:28,924 --> 01:56:31,526
And his past made him
the man who did it.

2160
01:56:32,393 --> 01:56:34,795
There's nothing to fix,
Mr. Wilson.

2161
01:56:36,165 --> 01:56:37,398
Logan.

2162
01:56:40,768 --> 01:56:42,637
- Shawarma? Yeah.
- I could eat.

2163
01:56:52,313 --> 01:56:54,748
You know, the Avengers
discovered shawarma.

2164
01:56:55,549 --> 01:56:57,451
They'd be lucky to have you.

2165
01:57:04,559 --> 01:57:06,862
Oh, come on.

2166
01:57:06,895 --> 01:57:07,930
Fuck off!

2167
01:57:09,064 --> 01:57:10,464
Come here, my little cunchkin.

2168
01:57:10,498 --> 01:57:12,033
Yes, it's you.

2169
01:57:12,066 --> 01:57:14,069
You're a survivor.

2170
01:57:15,170 --> 01:57:17,006
Oh, all is right in the world.

2171
01:57:18,240 --> 01:57:19,440
Yes, it is.

2172
01:57:21,076 --> 01:57:22,409
So what are you gonna do next?

2173
01:57:23,711 --> 01:57:25,913
I'll figure it out.
I always do.

2174
01:57:26,714 --> 01:57:27,816
All right.

2175
01:57:28,749 --> 01:57:30,484
So I'll probably see you around?

2176
01:57:35,157 --> 01:57:36,356
Probably not.

2177
01:57:39,427 --> 01:57:40,627
See you, bub.

2178
01:57:50,138 --> 01:57:51,405
Logan.

2179
01:57:57,813 --> 01:57:59,547
Al. I'm back.

2180
01:58:00,015 --> 01:58:01,482
About damn time.

2181
01:58:01,515 --> 01:58:04,318
You holdin'? I'm all outta
devil's dandruff,

2182
01:58:04,352 --> 01:58:06,519
and I'm shaking
like an angry vibrator.

2183
01:58:06,553 --> 01:58:08,456
Thank you, Al.
We have company.

2184
01:58:09,157 --> 01:58:10,758
Althea, this is...

2185
01:58:11,359 --> 01:58:12,593
This is Logan.

2186
01:58:12,627 --> 01:58:14,662
- Nice to meet you, Logan.
- Nice to meet you too.

2187
01:58:14,694 --> 01:58:18,333
And this little ancient anal
shit-knot is Mary Puppins.

2188
01:58:18,367 --> 01:58:20,801
Or as I like to call her,
Dogpool.

2189
01:58:20,835 --> 01:58:22,769
You want to treat yourself
to a little stroke?

2190
01:58:24,106 --> 01:58:27,241
- Get the tongue. There it is.
- Oh, my God! Motherfucker!

2191
01:58:27,275 --> 01:58:31,280
Right? It's like an armadillo
fucked a gremlin, angrily,

2192
01:58:31,312 --> 01:58:33,114
in a bed of gonorrhea...

2193
01:58:33,147 --> 01:58:35,449
and didn't stop till
the sun came up.

2194
01:58:36,484 --> 01:58:38,854
Everyone wants to matter.

2195
01:58:38,887 --> 01:58:42,224
Turns out that you don't need
to be Marvel Jesus to do it.

2196
01:58:42,257 --> 01:58:44,859
You just need to open
your eyes and look around.

2197
01:58:45,425 --> 01:58:46,626
And if you're lucky,

2198
01:58:47,427 --> 01:58:49,298
you'll find a few friends.

2199
01:58:49,331 --> 01:58:50,630
Old friends,

2200
01:58:51,464 --> 01:58:53,200
and some new ones too.

2201
01:58:57,771 --> 01:58:59,942
Give me the fucking dog.
Talk to the girl.

2202
01:59:10,319 --> 01:59:11,518
Oh, hi.

2203
01:59:11,551 --> 01:59:13,654
Hi.

2204
01:59:15,289 --> 01:59:16,490
You've been busy.

2205
01:59:19,361 --> 01:59:20,963
I did it for you.

2206
01:59:22,797 --> 01:59:25,434
And even if you don't want me,
I... I did it for you.

2207
01:59:34,574 --> 01:59:36,310
Turns out,

2208
01:59:36,344 --> 01:59:38,578
I am the world-saving type.

2209
01:59:38,611 --> 01:59:40,816
Just look around this table
if you want proof.

2210
01:59:41,615 --> 01:59:42,818
And the best part?

2211
01:59:43,551 --> 01:59:45,553
Sometimes the people we save,

2212
01:59:46,388 --> 01:59:48,322
they save us right back.

2213
02:00:27,928 --> 02:00:30,331
You're not
the only one with gifts.

2214
02:00:30,364 --> 02:00:31,699
What is this place?

2215
02:01:00,528 --> 02:01:02,431
- Nice suit.
- Zip it, Stan Lee.

2216
02:01:11,373 --> 02:01:13,809
I really like the...
the art in the Deadpool comics.

2217
02:01:13,841 --> 02:01:16,144
You know, I just always felt
a kind of a kinship to him.

2218
02:01:16,178 --> 02:01:19,047
And I just thought, I'd like
to play that guy someday.

2219
02:01:47,541 --> 02:01:50,811
I was there for three weeks
before I shot a single thing.

2220
02:01:50,845 --> 02:01:53,081
At our first day of shooting,

2221
02:01:53,115 --> 02:01:54,949
I was so nervous, man.

2222
02:01:54,982 --> 02:01:57,151
Everyone was sort of going,
who's this guy?

2223
02:01:57,185 --> 02:01:59,154
You know,
there was a lot of that and,

2224
02:01:59,187 --> 02:02:00,753
you know,
is he gonna deliver or not?

2225
02:02:00,787 --> 02:02:02,958
You can feel
all that kind of pressure.

2226
02:02:04,025 --> 02:02:07,361
It's always the suit's fault.
Never the actor.

2227
02:02:15,903 --> 02:02:17,572
- This is...
- The only way.

2228
02:02:26,746 --> 02:02:29,049
Ah, so this is
what it feels like.

2229
02:02:31,485 --> 02:02:33,288
And there's the lights.

2230
02:02:33,321 --> 02:02:34,990
For medical research.

2231
02:02:35,023 --> 02:02:37,124
- Bye-bye, video.
- Bye.

2232
02:06:51,045 --> 02:06:53,815
I'm tired of
these absolutely vile rumors

2233
02:06:53,848 --> 02:06:55,149
that I got Johnny killed.

2234
02:06:56,016 --> 02:06:57,250
Let's look at the tape.

2235
02:06:58,451 --> 02:06:59,687
In The Void,

2236
02:06:59,721 --> 02:07:01,655
you're either food for Alioth

2237
02:07:01,688 --> 02:07:02,990
or you work for her.

2238
02:07:05,926 --> 02:07:07,261
Go on, Johnny.

2239
02:07:07,294 --> 02:07:08,928
And I'll tell you who her is.

2240
02:07:08,961 --> 02:07:09,998
Cassandra Nova.

2241
02:07:10,031 --> 02:07:12,266
A megalomaniacal,
psychotic asshole.

2242
02:07:12,299 --> 02:07:14,334
A finger licking
dead-inside pixie slab

2243
02:07:14,368 --> 02:07:16,469
of third rate dime-store nut-milk.
And I'll tell you

2244
02:07:16,502 --> 02:07:17,938
- what she can do.
- I'm listening.

2245
02:07:17,971 --> 02:07:19,842
She can lick my goddamn
cinnamon ring clean

2246
02:07:19,875 --> 02:07:21,509
and kick rocks
all the way to bald hell.

2247
02:07:21,543 --> 02:07:24,011
In fact, I don't give a shit
if she removes all my skin

2248
02:07:24,044 --> 02:07:26,046
and pops me like some
nightmarish blood balloon.

2249
02:07:26,078 --> 02:07:27,181
If the last thing I do

2250
02:07:27,214 --> 02:07:29,149
in this godforsaken
cum-gutter existence

2251
02:07:29,183 --> 02:07:30,852
is light that fuck-box on fire,

2252
02:07:30,885 --> 02:07:32,053
I still won't die happy.

2253
02:07:32,086 --> 02:07:33,720
Holy shit, girl. You crazy.

2254
02:07:33,754 --> 02:07:36,356
That's right, Wade. I won't
be happy until I've urinated

2255
02:07:36,390 --> 02:07:37,958
on her freshly barbecued corpse

2256
02:07:37,991 --> 02:07:39,794
and husk-fucked
the charred remains

2257
02:07:39,829 --> 02:07:41,729
while gargling
Juggernaut's juggernuts.

2258
02:07:41,763 --> 02:07:43,363
And you can quote me.

2259
02:07:43,397 --> 02:07:44,833
'Kay.

2260
02:07:44,866 --> 02:07:46,299
Got you, fuckface.