1 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,544 (♪ Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus... 2 00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:49,006 'That's me, Paul Maddens, back in drama school. 3 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,550 'Yes, l look like an idiot. 4 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,054 'And there's my girlfriend, Jennifer, 5 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,015 'with our best mate, Gordon Shakespeare. 6 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:01,643 'We were the three amigos with the world at our feet.' 7 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:04,396 (♪ So jump in bed and cover your head 8 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:07,733 (♪ Cos Santa Claus comes tonight... (♪ 9 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,778 'Jennifer and her family always loved Christmas. 10 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,989 'And it was Jennifer who taught me to love it, too. 11 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,241 'Gordon always said he loved Christmas, 12 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:19,369 'but the only thing he truly loved was himself.' 13 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,456 l'm completely above this. This is just pointless. Elf! 14 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:23,957 lt's my last elf. 15 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,628 l could at least be Father Christmas. Look at her. 16 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:31,465 - l can't do this any more. - You're really good, though. 17 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,968 There's no control being an actor. You're doing other people's ideas. 18 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,262 - l agree. - l'd rather be in control. 19 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:40,057 l don't know, like directing, producing. 20 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,476 - l think you should consider that. - l will. 21 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:46,313 That's why l'm going to train as a primary school teacher. 22 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,898 Shh. 23 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,776 Give it three years and if you're as bad as you are now, give up. 24 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:54,530 Try. Those who can't act, teach. 25 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,658 (Both) And those who can't teach, teach primary. 26 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,327 - Who says that? - lt's a truism. 27 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,496 A truism? Five, six, seven, eight. 28 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,833 (♪ Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus... 29 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:10,212 (Paul) 'And so that's what l did, l became a teacher, 30 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:13,173 'and Jennifer seemed really proud of me. 31 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:17,511 'As l was of her, when she went to Hollywood and became a producer. 32 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,806 'Gordon became a teacher at the best private school in the city. 33 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,474 'Every Christmas, 34 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,478 'his productions of the nativity won the five-star review in the local paper.' 35 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:30,357 Gordon Shakespeare's three-colour trilogy 36 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:33,902 has redefined nativity with its rainbow of talent 37 00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:38,740 that hangs over the city of Coventry like a blessed beacon. 38 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,742 'Five stars. 39 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:45,164 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What a performance! 40 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,375 'Paul Maddens' nativity was abysmal.' 41 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,961 Minus two stars. 42 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:54,047 (Paul) 'And that's when l decided l hated Christmas.' 43 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,301 ((♪ JACKSON 5: "Santa Claus ls Coming To Town") 44 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:07,561 (♪ Santa Claus is coming to town 45 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,731 (♪ You'd better watch out You'd better not cry... 46 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,735 Sit down! Oli, that's you in detention for the week. 47 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,738 TJ, that's you in detention for the week, 48 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,241 and also, TJ, that's your parents coming into school tomorrow. 49 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:26,330 (♪ Santa Claus is coming to town... (♪ 50 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:31,335 - Who is going to win the 5-star review? - Us, us, us! 51 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,755 Us, us, us! Us, us, us! 52 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,966 Us, us, us! Yeah! 53 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:42,429 - Who can spell me Bethlehem? Go. - B-E-L-E... 54 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,848 No, next. Oli. 55 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,266 B-E-L-T... 56 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,310 No! TJ? 57 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:51,647 - B-E-L-E... - No! 58 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,859 Good morning, boys and girls. 59 00:03:55,985 --> 00:04:00,322 Good morning, Mrs Bevan! 60 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,741 Here we are on the run-up to Christmas. 61 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,826 - Yes! - lsn't that exciting? 62 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:09,623 Now, last year, Mrs Spink did the nativity play, 63 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,209 and, if you remember, she got a bit upset 64 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,336 and she started shouting and crying 65 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,965 and some of you, l remember, were crying with her. 66 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,635 So, we are going to have to find a new person, 67 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:27,015 and this year, to make the best nativity play that has ever, ever been, 68 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,477 is Mr Maddens. Yes! 69 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,814 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas 70 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,484 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas And a Happy New Year 71 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:41,655 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas 72 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,908 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas And a Happy New Year... 73 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,785 Ooh. 74 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,580 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas 75 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,625 (♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas And a Happy New Year 76 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:56,670 (♪ And a happy New Year 77 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,589 (♪ Happy New Year... (♪ 78 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:14,187 You have the talent, you have the training. 79 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:18,775 Mrs Bevan, l did a three-year course in drama many moons ago. 80 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:22,487 - l wasn't very good. - Yes, l know. Let's move on from there. 81 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,906 When are you going to start the casting? 82 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,701 These children are literally useless. 83 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:31,330 l am literally useless. Please don't make me do this. 84 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:35,667 Think about Oakmoor. Think about how they always steal all the reviews. 85 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,210 We agreed four years ago 86 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:41,882 that after my disastrous attempt to direct the nativity, l wouldn't do it again. 87 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:47,012 Make this a good one, make this a fabulous last nativity play for me, 88 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:50,349 and then l retire and you won't have to put up with me any more. 89 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:55,270 Oh, and you've got a classroom assistant starting today some time. 90 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:58,648 - Thank you. - That will help with the stress. 91 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,958 - Hello. - Hello. 92 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:22,798 Tell us, clearly, what happened at Christmas, if you think you're so clever. 93 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,676 Joseph got together with Mary and then Mary went to Bethlehem to have a baby. 94 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,678 She has a baby, Jesus. 95 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:33,767 A couple of years later, about 30 years later, he dies on the cross and then... 96 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:38,814 Go and sit down. That was almost blasphemy, what you've just done. 97 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,649 Here's to a five-star review 98 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,902 of the St Bernadette's nativity directed by Paul Maddens. 99 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,279 - Cheers. - Cheers! 100 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,782 (Laughter) 101 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,452 - (Rhythmic clapping) - (♪ When Susie was a child 102 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,371 (♪ A child Susie was 103 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:59,835 (♪ She said, "Miss! Miss! l can't get this! l got my knickers in a right old twist!" 104 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,670 (♪ When... (♪ 105 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,797 - Who are you? - Mr Poppy. 106 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:07,759 - What are you doing here, Mr Poppy? - Oh, l'm your teaching assistant. 107 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:15,016 Please try and keep it neat. Dan, are you having a bit of trouble? 108 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:19,396 - How are you getting on, Fraser? - Fine, thanks. 109 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:23,442 Mm-hm. You don't have to put your hand up to talk to me. 110 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,153 l thought we were supposed to be doing a play. 111 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,447 - We are. - Everyone's sitting around... 112 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,032 Yes, but this isn't the rehearsal for the play. 113 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,785 This is still a creative writing class. lt's a different thing. 114 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:37,664 - Who wants to do a play? - (Paul) Excuse me, excuse me! 115 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:41,918 - Just move the tables to one side. - No, keep the tables where you are! 116 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,172 Alfie! Alfie, TJ, just put the tables back. 117 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:50,343 The next person to move their table will be in detention for the entire term. 118 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,180 - (Bell rings) - Sit down! 119 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:58,810 - (Children shouting) - Stripy scarf, whose is this? 120 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,356 (Shouting and laughter) 121 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:11,490 - Mr Poppy! Come in now, Mr Poppy. - l've been tigged. 122 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,450 Come in now. 123 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,952 Get inside, please. l've told you before! 124 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:20,290 - Poppy! Poppy! Poppy! - Children, please, go away. 125 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,751 - Poppy! Poppy! - Just carry on playing. 126 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,004 Mr Poppy! Mr Poppy! 127 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,256 Mr Poppy! 128 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,886 Shh-chh-chh! 129 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:37,933 - Furzz-oop. - l just wanted to check something. 130 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,269 Can l just say l've really enjoyed today, thank you very much. 131 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,854 You're welcome. 132 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:46,274 - You haven't done this before. - l've done stuff like it. 133 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,693 - Classroom assistant? - No. 134 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:52,239 l just wanted to check that. l'll see you tomorrow at 08.15? 135 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,574 - Do you want a sausage sizzler? - Sorry? 136 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,826 Young's, the newsagent by Fiveheads Road, 137 00:08:56,953 --> 00:09:01,039 they do these sausages with tomato ketchup in a roll with a sausage. 138 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:05,919 They're £1 .50. Do you want to share one and we could hang out at the park? 139 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:09,214 l'll introduce you to Tom, Stinky Tom. He's funny. 140 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,050 l'm a bit busy. l shan't be doing that tonight. Thank you. 141 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,094 See you later. 142 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,597 Fzz-shwoosh! 143 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:22,894 (♪ Can't you see it's gonna be A merry, merry Christmas 144 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:29,150 (♪ A merry, merry Christmas For all good girls and boys... (♪ 145 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,860 (Dog whines) 146 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,196 Come here, baby. Hello. 147 00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:35,448 Ooh! Right on me kippers. Ooh! 148 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:39,494 Cracker! Cracker, you hardly know me! 149 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,454 Cracker! Cracker! 150 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,748 Where are you going, you mental dog? 151 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,959 (Hums a tune) 152 00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,219 Cracker... (♪ ln Nazareth... 153 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:59,347 Or... (♪ ln Nazareth... 154 00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,766 l think low. Bark for high. 155 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:04,561 - (Barks) - Bark for low. 156 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,897 - (Whines) - Suit yourself. 157 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,817 Cracker. 158 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:14,112 Cracker. Cracker, come here. 159 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,993 (Thud) 160 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,203 Help me, Mr Maddens! 161 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,334 This man is an idiot. He's an actual village idiot. 162 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,628 lf this was a village, he would be the idiot. 163 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:33,423 He's not a classroom assistant. He's an absolute calamitous fool. 164 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:37,218 - He'll be a big help with the play. - The play that l don't care about? 165 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:41,389 The play that brings the children away from learning to read, write and count? 166 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:45,268 Whoopee. l've got a big oaf helping my children to fail. Thanks a lot. 167 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:48,355 - This is getting a bit personal. - Who's that? 168 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,065 - Who's what? - What's that? 169 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,942 That's a photograph of me and Mr Poppy. 170 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,279 - Why? - He is my sister's son. 171 00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,490 Mm-hm. 172 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,951 (Sighs) 173 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:11,670 Mr Poppy! 174 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,297 Sit down, please. Sit down. 175 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,549 Be quiet! Sit down now! 176 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,349 Why is Mr Maddens such a grumpy grocks? 177 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:27,727 His girlfriend left him at Christmas time. 178 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:31,481 - Where's his girlfriend now? - ln America. 179 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,067 America, how cool is that? 180 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,821 lt is cool, but it is a long way away from here. 181 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:41,491 Can we keep it down over there, please? 182 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,079 - Bagsy drive the van. - l've got the keys. 183 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,665 - Nothing overrules the rules of bagsy. - Don't... 184 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:53,712 - Mr Poppy, l'm insured to drive the van. - Auntie Pat said l could drive. 185 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,923 - Can you drive? - Yeah. Come on, jump in. 186 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,425 (Horn sounds) 187 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,387 - Gabriel comes in on a death slide. - (Paul) What's a death slide? 188 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,724 One of those things. Duh-zzhoozh! You go down with two hands... 189 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:10,103 l don't think health and safety will involve the death slide in a nativity play. 190 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:15,316 - OK, what about a BMX with trick pegs? - This is a Roman Catholic school. 191 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:19,446 We are not going to replace a donkey with a trick-peg BMX. What is that? 192 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,449 - We can do it if we just work together. - Sorry? 193 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:26,953 Like we're Webber and Rice, and Posh and Becks. Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee. 194 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,621 You and me. 195 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:32,792 - l think maybe this one. - No. The big one. 196 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,003 lt's not gonna fit, is it? 197 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:39,090 - l don't believe it! Paul Maddens! - Gordon Shakespeare. 198 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:43,052 (American accent) How are you doing, my man? 199 00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:46,222 - Great to see you. - And you. 200 00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:49,309 - Where have you been? - Five years at St Bernadette's now. 201 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,437 But you were gonna be the star, the man! 202 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:56,858 - Was l? l never thought that. - Yes! We all did and then it all went. 203 00:12:56,984 --> 00:13:00,069 And now you're down the road? How is it at St B's? 204 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,780 Goodness me, what a challenge! 205 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:06,951 Slowly, that dreadful school is dragging itself up. 206 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:11,956 - How's Jennifer? Do you speak to her? - Yeah, still quite good friends with her. 207 00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,875 So, you still keep in touch with her? 208 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,669 Yeah, even though she's Hollywood side, yeah. 209 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,380 - Didn't she do well? - She's now a producer, you know? 210 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:24,177 l know. l mean, if you think l'm talented, well, she's just gone to another level. 211 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,763 Way above me, and...and... 212 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,265 - ...clearly, you. - Clearly, yeah. 213 00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,893 lf you want to see how the other half lives, 214 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:35,480 and just see where it really happens in the right way, 215 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,232 come along to our Christmas bazaar. 216 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:40,860 - The talent they've got. Amazing. - Yeah, l'm sure. 217 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,530 - lt's worth a little look. Come along. - Thank you. 218 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,990 - What are you doing this year? - l'm doing the nativity again. 219 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:49,244 - Perhaps l could come and see yours? - Yes, you won't be alone if you do. 220 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,704 Because, actually, Jennifer's coming. 221 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,750 - She's coming over to the UK? - Yeah, she's gonna come and see... 222 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,210 Why would she do that? 223 00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:00,255 Because she's gonna bring most of her agency over with her. 224 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:05,051 Hollywood...are coming to St Bernadette's? 225 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,803 - To see your show? - Yes. 226 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,596 - To film your show? - Yeah. 227 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:12,100 - To make a film out of it? - Yeah. 228 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,476 And a book. 229 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:16,271 (Hums a tune) 230 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,784 Come, come, come, come, come. 231 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,954 Come close. This is... Shh. 232 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,583 Come in, gather round. l've got something to tell you, all right? 233 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:41,838 l'm not supposed to, but someone's twisted my arm and l have to tell you. 234 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:45,508 l've just been to get the Christmas tree, and l heard Mr Maddens say, 235 00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:50,346 a big Hollywood production film thing company 236 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,765 are coming here to see our nativity, 237 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,311 but it's not a nativity, it's "Nativity The Musical", 238 00:14:56,437 --> 00:15:00,356 in 3-D with 5-D sound, and we're all going to be famous! 239 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,275 Yeah! 240 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:07,280 Shh, shh, shh! This is big stuff, all right? 241 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,532 Zack, l mean, you could end up being... 242 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:12,160 - Zac Efron. - Yes! 243 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,413 And you...you could be Shrek! 244 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,041 - And you, Bob... - What? 245 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:21,794 ...you're like a little Gollum, like a little creature in something! 246 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:25,548 So, we're going to be super famous because Hollywood are coming! 247 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,716 Yeah! 248 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,428 - (Groans) - (Dog whines) 249 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:32,889 Ow. Ow. 250 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,933 Ow! 251 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,477 Oh! 252 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,270 Aargh! 253 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,731 With me now are the real stars of the film, 254 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,984 the pupils of St Bernadette's School here. 255 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,947 - You must be very excited? - Oh, very excited, aren't we, children? 256 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,825 Wait, wait. 257 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:57,246 We heard this morning that Hollywood are coming to see our nativity play, 258 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,873 and we can hardly believe it. 259 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:01,501 Sit down, please. Sit, Cracker. 260 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:08,174 l am actually Mr Poppy and l am, er... the co-director, co-writer, co-producer. 261 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,385 (TV volume off) 262 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:19,394 '...the true stars of a new Hollywood blockbuster coming to town very soon.' 263 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:26,150 (♪ He sees you when you're sleeping 264 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:29,445 (♪ He knows when you're awake... 265 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,116 How you doing, Paul? 266 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,870 Now, you don't want to be late. Quickly, you two. 267 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,332 Well done. Congratulations, Mr Maddens. 268 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:48,256 There you are! Oh, goodness, at last. 269 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:51,759 - This is Darren from the newspaper. - Nice to meet you. 270 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:55,555 Come on, we've got to go this way. Yeah, they've been waiting. 271 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:59,017 l've told Darren everything l know but l don't know much. 272 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:02,020 lt's wonderful that you're back in touch with her again. 273 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:06,149 - There you are, that's it. - (Cheering) 274 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:16,576 Thank you, thank you. Good morning, boys and girls. Good morning, teachers. 275 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:20,538 Good morning. Good morning, gentlemen of the press. 276 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:23,666 Ha-ha! And the local news team. 277 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:27,253 And, as you can see, children, it's very, very exciting. 278 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:31,507 The whole of the town is buzzing with the news 279 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:37,597 that St Bernadette's is going to get a visitor from Hollywood. 280 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,600 - Three cheers for Mr Maddens! Hip, hip! - Hurray! 281 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,477 - Hip, hip! - Hurray! 282 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,980 - Hip, hip! - Hooray! 283 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,442 Mrs Bevan, boys and girls... 284 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:55,114 l'm sorry, cos there's obviously been some misunderstanding, 285 00:17:55,240 --> 00:18:00,244 because yesterday l said in front of Mr Poppy 286 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:05,291 that we were gonna have a... a visit from Hollywood. 287 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,716 And l'm only sorry cos it's not happening right now! 288 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,688 l didn't tell you. 289 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,608 l told Gordon Shakespeare! lt wasn't even for your ears! 290 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:33,903 Do you understand me? You were eavesdropping on a conversation. 291 00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:37,115 - lt doesn't matter! - Be quiet! lt's obviously a lie. 292 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,493 How are Hollywood gonna come to the school? 293 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:44,747 lt's a lie! lt's not true! l made it up! 294 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:48,084 You have messed up, right? 295 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:53,172 lt's up to you to face your responsibility and go out there and tell them it's a lie. 296 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,884 - (Door squeaks) - Yeah! 297 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,348 Yeah! 298 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,394 All you've got to do is call your girlfriend 299 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,271 and get the Hollywood people across. 300 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:12,400 One problem. She's not my girlfriend. l don't know her number. 301 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:16,320 l don't know where she lives. l was making all of that up yesterday. 302 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:21,701 - Family? Has she got any family? - Well, she's got parents, yeah. 303 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,620 - Do you have any pets? - l have a dog. Used to be hers. 304 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,415 Brilliant! Just go round there. 305 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:31,752 Say, "The dog died. l need her number. l should break her this news in person." 306 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:35,756 - How has the dog died? - lt blew up. 307 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,509 The dog blew up! 308 00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:42,555 They won't ask! They won't ask. You wouldn't ask. l wouldn't ask. 309 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,683 "Eugh!" They'd just think "Eugh" and get the number. 310 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,989 We need those five stars. l need you all to be stars to get those stars. 311 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:04,243 We need something edgier, more dangerous, something darker. 312 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:09,123 Something like the RSC do, then bang, they hit you with something enormous. 313 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:13,127 That's what we should be doing. Something European, strange, exotic. 314 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:16,172 Something that the Americans don't understand but love. 315 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:20,218 That's it, l know, we could have...Herod. 316 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:24,347 King Herod, he's never done, is he? Herod...Herod's never done, ever! 317 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:28,351 That's it, wonderful. We can have Herod. lt could be like an opera. 318 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,103 This dark shape brooding in the back, 319 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:35,358 coming forward onto the stage, singing his heart out, his lungs, 320 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,277 craving for their minds and blood and body of the children. 321 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:41,489 That's what we want. Who's going to be my Herod? 322 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:52,208 (♪ Can't you see it's gonna be A merry, merry Christmas 323 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:55,544 (♪ A merry, merry Christmas For all good girls and boys... 324 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:58,172 Thank you. Anything else you'd like to show us? 325 00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:01,926 - (Burps) A, B, C, D... - That's good. 326 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:06,931 (♪ You and me l've been dancing on the floor, darling 327 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,934 (♪ And l feel like l need some more 328 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:15,147 (♪ And l feel your body Close to mine and l... (♪ 329 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,983 Oh. 330 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:22,446 (♪ Cos l'm just A teenage dirtbag, baby 331 00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:28,536 (♪ Listen to lron Maiden, baby, with me (♪ 332 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:34,000 (♪ l was going on a hill side On a hill side 333 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:39,422 (♪ l was going on a hill side On a hill side... 334 00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:51,017 (♪ Oh, Danny boy 335 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:57,064 (♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling... 336 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,946 What would you like to play? 337 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:06,949 l know you're not gonna let me, but l want to be Joseph. 338 00:22:07,075 --> 00:22:09,410 OK, well, away you go, in your own time. 339 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,999 - Careful. - Wow. 340 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:17,335 ((♪ Rock version of Jingle Bells) 341 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,594 - You're through to the next round. - There's not a next round. 342 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,430 - The Hollywood round. - There isn't a Hollywood round. 343 00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:31,932 Please can l go to Hollywood? Please! 344 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,685 Hollywood, Bob, are gonna love it. 345 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,938 Aah! Ooh! 346 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:41,359 Look, l can't do it. Can we take five for a moment, please? 347 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:44,153 l've got to... Excuse me. 348 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,242 Keep going, it's good. lt's really good. 349 00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:56,165 - Paul. Paul. Paul. - Oh, hello, Father. 350 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:59,335 l just popped in to congratulate you. Well done. 351 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:01,629 - Thank you. - lt's great news. 352 00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,131 - Thank you. l'll do what l can. - Well done. 353 00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:06,258 Father, could l ask your advice? 354 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:10,763 l've just had a bit of a query from one of the children in the auditions, actually. 355 00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:15,059 l'm not sure how to advise them. They're worried about, er...lying. 356 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,727 One of them has told a lie. 357 00:23:16,853 --> 00:23:19,647 We all know that there's such a thing as a little white lie 358 00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:24,360 and there's a black Protestant lie, which is more serious, you know... 359 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:27,947 l don't think so, l don't think so. A lie is a lie is a lie. 360 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,574 - Technically? - What do you mean, technically? 361 00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:35,037 Well, you know, "ls that a nice meal?" "Oh, yes, Mrs Johnson, it's lovely." 362 00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:38,999 Even though you're feeling sick, cos you don't want to hurt her feelings. 363 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:43,754 - But it's still a lie, isn't it? - But l'm not going to be punished for it. 364 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,382 No, but if you picked the woman up on her bad cooking, 365 00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:50,219 the next time you might get a decent meal. 366 00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:05,317 Ee-aah! Ee-aah! 367 00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:11,574 - Mrs Bevan, can l have a quick word? - Ah! My phone is ringing off the hook. 368 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,076 - Can l grab you for two minutes? - Of course. 369 00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:18,539 Word has got out about the Hollywood connection, and parents are ringing me. 370 00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:23,002 - They want to know why, how, when. - l can save time with all of that. 371 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:26,797 This is the cherry on the cake, the Lord Mayor's office has rung 372 00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:31,218 and they want you to go to a big reception for Coventry ambassadors. 373 00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:35,514 - No! - Yes, and there's going to be drinks. 374 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,184 - l don't think l can come. - l've accepted on your behalf. 375 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,643 - Have you? - (Phone rings) 376 00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:41,854 - l've got to go. Phone! - No, please! 377 00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:46,984 That will be somebody else. See you soon, bye-bye. 378 00:24:47,110 --> 00:24:50,070 (♪ l'm a little Christmas cracker 379 00:24:50,197 --> 00:24:53,407 (♪ Hanging on a Christmas tree 380 00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:56,494 (♪ Just a little Christmas cracker 381 00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,746 (♪ A banger, banger, banger, that's me... (♪ 382 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,081 (Doorbell) 383 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,960 - How's it going? - You! 384 00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:11,467 - l wonder if l might come in? - l think you should come in. 385 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:14,053 - Thank you. - Come on. 386 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,347 (Clears throat) 387 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:23,979 You'd better sit down, Paul. 388 00:25:24,105 --> 00:25:26,315 l've heard of some things in my life, Paul, 389 00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:29,109 but to take a dog called Cracker 390 00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:33,489 and then to put explosives in it and blow it apart like a cracker... 391 00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:36,700 l think common parlance is "the pits". 392 00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:38,869 Wait till Jennifer hears. 393 00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:42,164 Yes, she'll probably be sitting there in her heart-shaped pool, 394 00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:45,417 sipping away at her Cristal champagne which Harrison has bought her. 395 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:48,921 That's her new boyfriend, by the way. 396 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,257 New boyfriend, you understand that? 397 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:54,343 Not the old boyfriend who blows dogs to smithereens. 398 00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:58,013 (♪ Hooray for Hollywood... (♪ 399 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,307 Excuse me. 400 00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,855 - What did she say? - l haven't spoken to her yet. 401 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:09,984 - When are you going to phone her? - When l've got time! 402 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:13,279 And just when l've worked out what it is l'm gonna say! 403 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,864 Phone her! Why don't you want to phone her? 404 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:19,618 l can't phone her now because l'm working. l'm marking. 405 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:22,871 You're worried. You were going out with her for a long time. 406 00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,958 You love her, she loved you, it went wrong, 407 00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:29,753 and you feel butterfly things in your tummy when you make the phone call. 408 00:26:29,879 --> 00:26:33,966 And l understand that and you just need to take a big daddy breath, 409 00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:36,302 dial the number and say hello. 410 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,554 l don't know what you think is going on. 411 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:44,143 You think l'm hung up over a woman l've not seen for five years. l'm not. 412 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:47,896 Well, l can see a man who's really scared and frightened and angry. 413 00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:51,108 l'm frightened of you, because l've never met one of you before. 414 00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:55,112 l'm terrified because l don't know what you or l am going to do. 415 00:26:55,238 --> 00:26:58,699 l could help you mend your heart, Mr Maddens. 416 00:27:00,827 --> 00:27:02,953 Open the door. 417 00:27:04,122 --> 00:27:06,206 - Did you just slam that door? - No. 418 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:08,709 Close it properly, please. 419 00:27:11,046 --> 00:27:14,465 ((♪ RON SEXSMlTH: "Maybe This Christmas") 420 00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:22,056 (♪ Maybe this Christmas Will mean something more 421 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,808 (♪ Maybe this year 422 00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:27,353 (♪ Love will appear 423 00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:32,524 (♪ Deeper than ever before 424 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:41,075 (♪ And maybe forgiveness Will ask us to call someone we love 425 00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:43,786 (♪ Someone we've lost... 426 00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:48,791 - (Dog whimpers) - (♪ For reasons we can't quite recall 427 00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,709 (♪ Mm-mm-mm 428 00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:52,544 (♪ Maybe this Christmas... 429 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:54,797 Hello? 430 00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:57,549 (♪ Mm-mm-mm 431 00:27:57,676 --> 00:28:00,803 (♪ Maybe this Christmas (♪ 432 00:28:07,477 --> 00:28:11,063 (Paul) l was very impressed with the auditions. Thank you very much. 433 00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:13,649 l thought there was a wonderful array of talent on display, 434 00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:15,984 so you can all be very proud of yourselves. 435 00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:18,946 Because there's a wonderful array of talent on display, 436 00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:23,659 l have no doubt you'll be able to handle this song, which is quite advanced. 437 00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:27,079 (♪ Things are going well in Nazareth 438 00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:30,582 (♪ Our city is full of joy... 439 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,835 Right and that goes into... 440 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:36,630 - (Keyboard) - Do you have to do that? Fine, l'll... 441 00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:39,967 - That sounds good, doesn't it? - Yes, so we've got... 442 00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:42,678 - (♪ Things are going well... - (♪ Things are really cool... 443 00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:46,807 - (♪ ln Nazareth, our city is full of joy - (♪ ln Nazareth 444 00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:49,893 - (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy - (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy 445 00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:52,229 - (♪ ln Nazareth - (♪ Our city is full of... 446 00:28:52,355 --> 00:28:54,189 - Do you... - (♪ Joy... 447 00:28:54,315 --> 00:28:55,941 Try it. 448 00:28:56,067 --> 00:29:01,697 (♪ Things are really cool in Nazareth 449 00:29:01,823 --> 00:29:05,868 (♪ Our city is full of joy 450 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:08,454 (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy... 451 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,873 Who thinks my song is better? 452 00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:16,003 Anyone? This is far more linear. lt's very dirge-like. 453 00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:20,674 Mine is actually influenced more by Sondheim, but... 454 00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:25,262 OK, who prefers Mr Poppy's song? 455 00:29:27,056 --> 00:29:31,435 Black! Darkness, and the audience is thinking, "What's going to happen?" 456 00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:34,980 Some of the children, maybe like six or seven, 457 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:37,649 come on here on that, "Duh-duh, duh-duh-duh!" 458 00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,651 They're like toe, heel, 459 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:43,322 and then over here some more children, so you get this big cross, 460 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:47,409 and at the back as the cross opens up we see like the city of Nazareth. 461 00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:50,829 The children turn round, they've got big cutouts of all the city, 462 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:54,291 the city comes together and there's windows and lights 463 00:29:54,417 --> 00:29:56,960 and people going "Hello" through the windows. 464 00:29:57,086 --> 00:30:01,215 Mr Poppy, these children will never be able to do that. 465 00:30:01,341 --> 00:30:05,052 - Yes, they will. - Everyone knows we're useless. 466 00:30:05,178 --> 00:30:07,930 - (Paul) You're not useless. - That's what Mr Maddens calls us. 467 00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:12,893 - No, l don't. - Yes, you do. 468 00:30:13,019 --> 00:30:15,020 You told Mrs Bevan that we are. 469 00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:18,023 - Who told you that? - Sam, she heard you. 470 00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:20,567 You did say we were useless. 471 00:30:20,693 --> 00:30:24,321 l didn't mean useless. l didn't mean useless. 472 00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:28,784 - But they will never be able to do that. - Yeah, they will. 473 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:32,955 Anything we can do, Oakmoor can do ten times better. 474 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:35,791 Oli, Oakmoor, shmoakmoor! 475 00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:38,293 (♪ Beh-beh-beh-beh, beh-beh-beh-beh... 476 00:30:38,419 --> 00:30:43,048 The final scene of the play is a really, really important scene. 477 00:30:43,174 --> 00:30:46,593 - You know what happens at the end? - No. 478 00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:49,721 - Baby Jesus is born. - Baby Jesus is born. 479 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:54,268 Right, who fancies going on a little field trip 480 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:57,938 to actually see a real baby being born? 481 00:30:58,064 --> 00:31:01,358 Ah, l've been looking for you, my class. What are we all doing? 482 00:31:01,484 --> 00:31:05,237 We're talking about going on a field trip to see a baby being born. 483 00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:08,240 - What do you mean? - lt would be good to do a few field trips. 484 00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:10,367 Go to the farm and see some animals, 485 00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:14,371 because it would be cool for you to see the animals that come to the manger. 486 00:31:14,497 --> 00:31:16,540 Thank you. Can we come in, please? 487 00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,459 Enough of this silliness. lt's not gonna happen. 488 00:31:19,586 --> 00:31:23,630 How are they supposed to give convincing performances? 489 00:31:23,756 --> 00:31:28,051 lt's called pretending. lt's what every child in every nativity does every year. 490 00:31:28,177 --> 00:31:30,929 You can't pretend something unless you've experienced it. 491 00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:33,515 l'm pretending to like you and l've yet to experience that. 492 00:31:33,641 --> 00:31:37,269 Who wants to go to hospital and see a baby being born? 493 00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:41,273 ((♪ BLEU: "Snow Day") 494 00:31:41,399 --> 00:31:44,860 - (♪ Hey, hey! - (♪ l woke up to the radio 495 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:48,447 (♪ And the glare of a blanket of fallen snow 496 00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:51,116 (♪ When l heard the DJ speak to me 497 00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:53,911 (♪ ln a voice that was Thick as an evergreen... 498 00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:56,246 (Screams) 499 00:31:57,999 --> 00:31:59,416 (Baby cries) 500 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:03,921 (♪ For a snowy day 501 00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:10,093 (♪ Cos l need a break And l want to sleigh the day away 502 00:32:11,387 --> 00:32:13,847 (♪ l need a snow day... 503 00:32:13,973 --> 00:32:16,850 Oh, piglets! 504 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:23,357 (♪ l need a snow day 505 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,108 (♪ Hey, hey! (♪ 506 00:32:25,234 --> 00:32:26,526 Hello, everybody. 507 00:32:26,653 --> 00:32:31,198 l'd like to welcome you to our Christmas bazaar here at Oakmoor School. 508 00:32:31,324 --> 00:32:33,867 As you know, Christmas is a time for giving. 509 00:32:33,993 --> 00:32:40,082 A time for charity and valuing those people less fortunate than ourselves. 510 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:44,878 So, in that spirit, l'd like to welcome the students from St Bernadette's School. 511 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:52,511 (♪ Ding dong! Merrily on high 512 00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:56,306 - (♪ ln heaven the bells are ringing - (♪ Oh, oh! 513 00:32:56,432 --> 00:32:59,518 - (♪ Ding dong verily the sky - (♪ Oh, oh! 514 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:03,063 - (♪ ls riv'n with angels singing - (♪ Oh, oh! 515 00:33:03,189 --> 00:33:09,277 - (♪ Gloria - (♪ Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! 516 00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:13,281 (♪ Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! 517 00:33:13,408 --> 00:33:17,494 (♪ Hosanna in excelsis (♪ 518 00:33:19,622 --> 00:33:21,081 That was good. 519 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:32,592 - They look beautiful. - We're never gonna beat them. 520 00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:43,311 Wow. 521 00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:48,942 - Wow, he's good, isn't he? - Yeah. 522 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:51,903 Oh... 523 00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:57,576 Look at him. 524 00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:14,217 How are we? Are we all right? Are we ready to give it a go? 525 00:34:14,343 --> 00:34:18,013 OK, we know it a little bit. Listen, this doesn't matter. lt's not a test. 526 00:34:18,139 --> 00:34:20,182 You don't have to be getting this right. 527 00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:23,018 This is just something we do cos we enjoy singing. 528 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:26,480 Just to give us an idea of a Mary and Joseph, OK? 529 00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:30,525 - Mr Poppy, if you would, please. - Two, three. 530 00:34:30,651 --> 00:34:34,654 (♪ He's not my type 531 00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:38,950 (♪ She's not too bad 532 00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:42,370 (♪ Not the most gorgeous 533 00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:46,750 (♪ l've ever had 534 00:34:46,876 --> 00:34:50,337 (♪ And yet there's something 535 00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:54,299 (♪ Behind those eyes 536 00:34:54,425 --> 00:34:58,762 (♪ A fire that flickers... (♪ 537 00:34:58,888 --> 00:35:00,597 (Shouting) 538 00:35:06,896 --> 00:35:09,481 What's going on here? 539 00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:12,484 Oli and Alfie, did l see you fighting? 540 00:35:15,404 --> 00:35:17,280 Why were you fighting? 541 00:35:17,406 --> 00:35:21,118 He said l'd be rubbish at Joseph, and l'll never make it in the school play, 542 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:24,287 and if l do, l would let the school down. 543 00:35:24,413 --> 00:35:29,376 - Alfie, who made you director? - No one. But...but he hit me. 544 00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:31,837 Alfie, it's not down to you 545 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,506 who's going to be rubbish or good or let the school down. 546 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:37,509 As far as l'm concerned you've just let the school down, 547 00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:39,719 and so have you, Oli. 548 00:35:39,846 --> 00:35:42,848 - You both want to try out for Joseph? - Yes, Mr Maddens. 549 00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:46,143 Yeah? Neither of you are going to. Sit down. 550 00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:49,521 l knew you'd never let me. 551 00:35:52,316 --> 00:35:55,569 Jade, do you want to come and try for Mary? 552 00:35:55,695 --> 00:35:58,405 - Oli? - Yes, Mr Maddens? 553 00:35:58,531 --> 00:36:01,658 Take your feet off the seat. 554 00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:08,540 - Come and try for Joseph, come on. - Thank you, Mr Maddens. 555 00:36:08,666 --> 00:36:12,961 (♪ l'll grow to love her 556 00:36:13,087 --> 00:36:16,298 (♪ lt might work out 557 00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:19,551 (♪ Too young to know 558 00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:23,263 (♪ What it's all about... 559 00:36:23,389 --> 00:36:28,393 This one l'm quite excited about, but it is a bit of a risk. That could go either way. 560 00:36:28,519 --> 00:36:31,521 But if you don't like it, you can just say. You can just say. 561 00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:35,567 - Hang on, what's down here? - (Dog growls) 562 00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:38,236 l think l've just found... 563 00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:41,531 - What's... - (Door shuts) 564 00:36:45,244 --> 00:36:49,206 (♪ Together forever 565 00:36:49,332 --> 00:36:52,459 (♪ And always home 566 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:56,588 - (♪ Together forever... - Other hand. Other hands. 567 00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:58,965 (♪ And always 568 00:36:59,091 --> 00:37:03,553 (♪ Always home (♪ 569 00:37:03,679 --> 00:37:05,513 And kiss. 570 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,099 - (Both) No. - They don't have to kiss. 571 00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:10,435 They don't have to kiss. 572 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:13,521 - (Poppy) What about just a cuddle? - Jade, Oli, come here. 573 00:37:16,692 --> 00:37:18,652 - That was excellent. - Thank you. 574 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:22,864 You've got a beautiful voice. And Oli? 575 00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:26,826 - That was really good. - Thank you, Mr Maddens. 576 00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:31,456 - So, what was all that about earlier? - Alfie really got on my nerves. 577 00:37:31,582 --> 00:37:35,961 But l don't care if someone's getting on your nerves, you don't fight them. 578 00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,672 People think you're a bad lad, and maybe you're not, 579 00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:42,884 but the more bad things you do, people have you marked down as that. 580 00:37:43,010 --> 00:37:47,889 You've got real talent and you let yourself down by being silly. 581 00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:50,850 There's only so many conversations l can have with you. 582 00:37:50,977 --> 00:37:53,812 Only so many times l can tell you off, do you understand? 583 00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:56,314 You don't want to be told off by me. lt's boring. 584 00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:00,819 l hate doing it. lt's really boring for me as well. 585 00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:04,656 But if you could show me more of what you've just shown me there, 586 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,908 you could be great in this show. 587 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:10,537 - So, can l be Joseph, Mr Maddens? - We don't know that yet. 588 00:38:12,873 --> 00:38:15,667 l'm thinking l can see my boy band here. 589 00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:19,254 l'm thinking this is the boy band but we've got to whittle it down. 590 00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:21,840 - What about TJ? - No TJ. 591 00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:25,010 - Why? - He would be a really cool Gabriel. 592 00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:27,220 - OK. - He's in my Gabriel pile. 593 00:38:27,346 --> 00:38:30,724 How are we going to whittle this down? We've got to lose two. 594 00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:34,686 - Good dancer. Zack is a great dancer. - He should definitely be in it. 595 00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:37,814 - Matt. - Spiky hair and a good dancer. 596 00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:41,693 Right, he's a good dancer plus he's eye candy for the girls. 597 00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:45,238 l don't think we need to bother with that. He's 1 1 years old. 598 00:38:45,364 --> 00:38:49,492 Have you seen the looks he gets in the playground? All these girls are like... 599 00:38:49,618 --> 00:38:52,454 - Good. OK. - He doesn't walk round the playground. 600 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:55,957 He struts. Bobby! 601 00:38:56,083 --> 00:38:58,710 Good morning, Mr Poppy. 602 00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:02,130 l'm a bit upset because l haven't got a part in the proper show. 603 00:39:02,256 --> 00:39:04,841 How do you know that? We're just working it out now. 604 00:39:04,967 --> 00:39:07,719 - Bob, what do you want to be? - l want to be a king. 605 00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:10,347 (♪ She's the brightest star l've ever seen... 606 00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:11,931 (Mr Poppy) Throw some shapes. 607 00:39:12,058 --> 00:39:15,977 (♪ lt's like we're living ln some kind of dream 608 00:39:16,103 --> 00:39:19,814 (♪ Why do l feel overcome With hope and joy? 609 00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:22,275 (♪ Cos she's shining down her light 610 00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:26,738 (♪ And she's gonna be my girl And me her boy (♪ 611 00:39:26,864 --> 00:39:28,823 ls there room for a little one? 612 00:39:28,949 --> 00:39:31,326 - Mm, yeah. - You're through. 613 00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:33,787 Get in there, baby. Get in. 614 00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:36,790 Thank you, Bob. Chin up. 615 00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:43,338 (Gordon) Things are moving apace, with this Hollywood business. 616 00:39:43,464 --> 00:39:45,965 lf they go down the road before they come here 617 00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:48,385 it's going to be the end of everything. 618 00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:51,513 We're going to be washed up by the age of ten. 619 00:39:51,639 --> 00:39:55,350 We need to find Jennifer Lore, who's this executive producer. 620 00:39:55,476 --> 00:39:57,519 She works in one of five major studios. 621 00:39:57,645 --> 00:40:01,523 l need somebody to go on line to find out where she is. l want her contacted. 622 00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:05,402 We need to find out exactly what St Bernadette's are doing in their show. 623 00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:06,986 Yes, Mr Shakespeare. 624 00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:11,866 We can see what their show is like, and then we can just top it. 625 00:40:11,992 --> 00:40:15,036 We can just beat them. lf their show's big, we can make ours bigger. 626 00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:25,672 We're going to do a warm-up 627 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:29,092 because it's important before we do any strenuous activity 628 00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:31,719 that we warm our bodies and our minds up. 629 00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:35,432 Minds are equally important to warm up as our bodies. 630 00:40:35,558 --> 00:40:36,975 - Hi, Mr Poppy. - Hi. 631 00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:40,311 What we're gonna do is a gentle warm-up. You can join us, if you like. 632 00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:44,816 l've actually got some music. A little dance. We're just going to limber up. 633 00:40:44,942 --> 00:40:47,735 Copy what l do. And you, Mr Maddens. 634 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:51,030 ((♪ JACKSON 5: "l Want You Back") 635 00:41:08,215 --> 00:41:12,719 (♪ Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh, oh 636 00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:15,096 (♪ Let me tell you now 637 00:41:15,222 --> 00:41:18,850 - (♪ Ooh, ooh - (♪ Ooh, ooh 638 00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:24,063 (♪ When l had you to myself l didn't want you around 639 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:29,235 (♪ Those pretty faces always Make you stand out in a crowd 640 00:41:29,361 --> 00:41:31,779 (♪ But someone picked you From the bunch 641 00:41:31,906 --> 00:41:34,199 (♪ One glance was all it took 642 00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:38,369 (♪ Now it's much too late for me To take a second look 643 00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:44,167 (♪ Oh, baby, give me one more chance 644 00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:49,214 (♪ Won't you please let me Back in your heart? 645 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:54,552 - (♪ Oh, darling, l was blind to let you go - (♪ Let you go, baby 646 00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:59,224 - (♪ But now since l see you in his arms - (♪ l want you back 647 00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:01,059 (♪ Oh, l do now... 648 00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:02,644 Spies! 649 00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:06,731 Mr Maddens, it's the freak. 650 00:42:08,442 --> 00:42:14,906 Cry God for Harry, England and St George! 651 00:42:15,032 --> 00:42:17,325 Come on, let's go! 652 00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:22,622 Fall back! 653 00:42:27,711 --> 00:42:29,671 Ha-ha! Break time! 654 00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:34,592 l just wanted to say, if you needed any help with any of the singing or dancing... 655 00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:44,644 - Step shuffle, change shuffle... - Excuse me. 656 00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:53,861 Gordon! 657 00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:58,241 - Gordon! What are you doing? - This is ridiculous! 658 00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:03,663 - Why have you come to the school? - We came here on a field trip... 659 00:43:03,789 --> 00:43:06,082 Excuse me. l don't think...no. 660 00:43:06,208 --> 00:43:08,459 Mr Maddens! 661 00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:14,507 Bundle! 662 00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:20,972 Some of the children have described to me being encouraged to have a rumble. 663 00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:24,350 - Now, what on earth does that mean? - lt was more of a bundle. 664 00:43:24,476 --> 00:43:27,020 Bundle or rumble, l do not care. 665 00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:31,107 You've dragged this school and your trousers through the mire. 666 00:43:31,233 --> 00:43:33,151 lf it wasn't for this whole Hollywood thing, 667 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:36,988 you'd be off these premises without a job and without a reference. 668 00:43:37,114 --> 00:43:40,074 Get out, go on, back to your classrooms. Tuck your shirt in. 669 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,577 Sorry. 670 00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:44,996 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 671 00:43:45,122 --> 00:43:49,083 l know a lot of you have heard all about the Hollywood connection 672 00:43:49,209 --> 00:43:51,836 so l'll hand you over to Mr Maddens, Paul. 673 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:54,797 There was talk about, er...relocating. 674 00:43:54,923 --> 00:43:59,218 - ls there any truth in this? - There's a lot of talk about Hollywood. 675 00:43:59,345 --> 00:44:02,013 l don't want any of us to run away with ourselves 676 00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:05,099 and start dreaming about Hollywood mansions or swimming pools 677 00:44:05,225 --> 00:44:07,185 when that is plainly a fantasy. 678 00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:11,689 Yeah, but if the people from Hollywood see something brilliant in your child, 679 00:44:11,815 --> 00:44:13,358 they'll maybe take them over there. 680 00:44:13,484 --> 00:44:16,527 l'm worried about the religious aspect of this being lost. 681 00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:21,199 lt's going to be absolutely 100 percent in line with the teaching of the Church. 682 00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:24,869 - A normal nativity. - But also we've got the death slide. 683 00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:26,829 How much are you paying? 684 00:44:26,955 --> 00:44:29,248 There will be no financial benefit. 685 00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:33,419 lf you're making a film, there's got to be a fee. Nobody does a film for nothing. 686 00:44:33,545 --> 00:44:37,924 - lt's Hollywood. They've got the money. - And he's good, he deserves to be paid. 687 00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:41,636 About a million pounds, l think l've heard. 688 00:44:41,762 --> 00:44:43,763 We gonna have to get agents. 689 00:44:43,889 --> 00:44:46,891 - Alfie can't have contacts. - Don't cast him, then. 690 00:44:47,017 --> 00:44:49,977 - My daughter is very beautiful. - Will my daughter Becky be in? 691 00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:53,481 - lt would be my daughter. - l think she's a Mary, isn't she? 692 00:44:53,607 --> 00:44:57,068 - (Chatter) - OK, folks. 693 00:44:57,194 --> 00:44:59,696 Hi, Jennifer, this is Paul. Paul Maddens. 694 00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:03,658 Just wondering if you could possibly give me a call back. 695 00:45:03,784 --> 00:45:06,411 l have something to ask you, if that's all right. 696 00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:09,122 lf you could give me a... Love you. 697 00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:10,665 What are you...? 698 00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:12,917 Don't say that! 699 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:16,003 - Why did you tell me to say that? - lt's a nice ending. 700 00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:20,383 lt's not, it's a totally inappropriate ending. What are you talking about? 701 00:45:20,509 --> 00:45:23,761 - Why are you in my house? - l'm just trying to help, Mr Maddens. 702 00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:28,683 Well, it's not helping! l haven't told her l loved her for five years! 703 00:45:28,809 --> 00:45:30,977 Get out! What are you doing? 704 00:45:31,645 --> 00:45:35,106 l think he's doing it for the best because if it does happen, it's gonna be brilliant. 705 00:45:35,232 --> 00:45:37,900 - lt's not happening, is it? - But it might happen. 706 00:45:38,026 --> 00:45:39,986 - How? - Well... 707 00:45:40,112 --> 00:45:42,947 - How's it gonna happen? - Maybe you could help out. 708 00:45:43,073 --> 00:45:45,032 Desmond? Desmond? 709 00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:48,286 You were going to be on break duty today. Can you...? 710 00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:50,329 Yeah, l was just chatting with Miss Rye. 711 00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:52,790 Yes, you shouldn't be. Can you get out, please? 712 00:45:52,916 --> 00:45:55,251 - Paul? - Yeah? 713 00:45:55,377 --> 00:45:57,462 Why did you lie? 714 00:45:58,338 --> 00:46:00,047 About what? 715 00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:03,843 About America, about Hollywood, all being a complete load of rubbish. 716 00:46:03,969 --> 00:46:06,637 - You've lied about all this. - You did lie. 717 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:09,807 - l'm in shock. l'm in shock. - l'm really sorry. 718 00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:12,226 - What are you gonna do? - l don't know. 719 00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:15,146 - You've got to do something. - Maybe you've got a great idea! 720 00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:18,900 We've got to get Jennifer to somehow return your calls or speak to you. 721 00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:20,276 Yes. 722 00:46:20,402 --> 00:46:25,114 We're gonna film what we've done and film some of the rehearsals, OK? 723 00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:27,283 - The best bits. - Of these children? 724 00:46:27,409 --> 00:46:30,119 - Yes! - Four seconds! There are no best bits. 725 00:46:30,245 --> 00:46:32,163 - Oh! - Come on, Paul. 726 00:46:32,289 --> 00:46:36,584 Just get something, get whatever you can, the best thing you can on the DVD. 727 00:46:36,710 --> 00:46:39,295 Film it for the DVD, send the DVD. 728 00:46:39,421 --> 00:46:43,299 - Stop saying DVD. - lt's got to be worth a try. 729 00:46:43,425 --> 00:46:45,968 Well, l'm not doing the DVD. 730 00:46:46,094 --> 00:46:49,722 (♪ She's the brightest star l've ever seen 731 00:46:49,848 --> 00:46:54,811 (♪ lt's like we're living ln some kind of dream 732 00:46:54,937 --> 00:46:58,731 (♪ Why do l feel overcome With hope and joy? 733 00:46:58,857 --> 00:47:00,483 (♪ Cos she's shining down her light 734 00:47:00,609 --> 00:47:05,530 (♪ And she's gonna be my girl And me her boy (♪ 735 00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:08,533 ((♪ Piano music over dialogue) 736 00:47:18,585 --> 00:47:20,670 Whoo! 737 00:47:22,714 --> 00:47:25,383 OK, er... 738 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,856 OK, nice and loud. ln here, in here. Go! 739 00:47:43,402 --> 00:47:44,944 (Sniffs) 740 00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:51,033 (♪ l want you with me, Christmas... 741 00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:56,080 'Hello, Miss Jennifer, you don't know me but l've heard a lot about you 742 00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:59,250 and the children have got something they want to tell you. 743 00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:02,753 'Mr Maddens is having a hard time without you. 744 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,924 'Mr Maddens loves you so much so can you please come back?' 745 00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:11,345 'Please, please come back and mend Mr Maddens' heart.' 746 00:48:12,180 --> 00:48:15,057 'Mr Maddens is heartbroken without you.' 747 00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:18,394 'Without you Mr Maddens is lost.' 748 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:22,815 'Mr Maddens is miserable without you, Jennifer.' 749 00:48:22,941 --> 00:48:25,234 'So...so please, please come, 750 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,279 'and come and see the show while you're here, 751 00:48:28,405 --> 00:48:31,282 'and everything will be good.' 752 00:48:33,410 --> 00:48:43,794 (♪ To keep my heart aglow (♪ 753 00:48:45,005 --> 00:48:49,592 (MC) The Lord Mayor welcomes Mrs Bevan and Mr Maddens. 754 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:58,893 - Hello. Paul Maddens. - Nice to meet you. 755 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:01,604 - How do you do? - Nice to see you again, Mrs Bevan. 756 00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:03,356 You look marvellous. 757 00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:06,192 This old thing, it comes out at Christmas time. 758 00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:09,320 - You look like a Christmas cracker. - Thank you very much. 759 00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:13,074 Let's hope you get pulled before the end of the night. 760 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,952 - Can l take you for a drink, Mrs Bevan? - Mm. 761 00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:18,579 - You'd like a glass of champagne. - l'd love another one. 762 00:49:18,705 --> 00:49:20,539 lt's very nice, very cooling. 763 00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:22,541 - Patrick Burns. - Hello. 764 00:49:22,668 --> 00:49:25,962 - Coventry Evening Telegraph. - l know who you are, yeah. 765 00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:29,507 - Excited? - About? 766 00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:32,677 - Hollywood? - Oh, yeah, that old thing. No. 767 00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:36,138 l've got contacts there, had them for years. Pulling in a favour. 768 00:49:36,264 --> 00:49:39,517 Yeah, yeah, from a young lady. Jennifer, isn't it? Jennifer? 769 00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:44,522 Yeah. You know, sorry, l know how this works. No, this is like you're a reporter. 770 00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:47,400 No, no, l'm off duty. l'm off duty. 771 00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:50,444 - l hear there's no such thing. - Oh, please. 772 00:49:50,570 --> 00:49:54,198 Gordon was just saying how you had a few problems in the beginning 773 00:49:54,324 --> 00:49:58,160 and then he said to her, "You go, girl, you go to LA." 774 00:49:58,286 --> 00:50:02,289 - Really? - l just wondered your take on it all. 775 00:50:04,501 --> 00:50:07,211 l'm sensing a lot of anger. 776 00:50:07,337 --> 00:50:09,380 Are you? Why would that be, l wonder? 777 00:50:09,506 --> 00:50:13,592 Could it be because you are the man who, five years ago, roundly trashed 778 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:17,388 my one honest attempt at putting on a nativity? 779 00:50:17,514 --> 00:50:19,098 Are you sure it was me? 780 00:50:19,224 --> 00:50:21,350 "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" was the headline. 781 00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:24,979 - And now, when there's a chance... - Oh, come on, it was appalling. 782 00:50:25,105 --> 00:50:29,650 - So you do remember it? - l did that review to make you tough. 783 00:50:29,776 --> 00:50:32,486 Look at you now, you're mixing with Hollywood. 784 00:50:32,612 --> 00:50:35,531 You're no one if you haven't had a bad review off Patrick Burns. 785 00:50:35,657 --> 00:50:39,326 That's why they call them Burns victims. 786 00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:41,662 - (Applause) - Ladies and gentlemen! 787 00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:44,957 Can l thank you for your attendance and your support 788 00:50:45,083 --> 00:50:49,378 because l would like to congratulate Mr Maddens and St Bernadette's School 789 00:50:49,504 --> 00:50:53,674 for the incredible opportunity that they are affording our wonderful city. 790 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,135 Mr Maddens. 791 00:50:56,261 --> 00:51:01,432 Now, in honour of this occasion, and much against the council's wishes, 792 00:51:01,558 --> 00:51:04,018 the mayor's parlour has overruled the council 793 00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:08,439 and we would like to offer the cathedral ruins as a venue for your show. 794 00:51:08,565 --> 00:51:11,567 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 795 00:51:23,205 --> 00:51:28,459 Mr Maddens. This is brilliant. This is gonna blow your mind. 796 00:51:28,585 --> 00:51:30,878 Prepare to be amazed. 797 00:51:31,004 --> 00:51:33,380 We're doing it at the cathedral. 798 00:51:34,132 --> 00:51:35,591 What? 799 00:51:35,717 --> 00:51:40,805 We're doing the show in the ruins of the cathedral. 800 00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:43,432 - Yes! The cathedral's got a spire. - lt's got a spire. 801 00:51:43,558 --> 00:51:46,519 You don't seem to understand 802 00:51:46,645 --> 00:51:49,522 that the bigger this gets, it's now constituting fraud. 803 00:51:49,648 --> 00:51:54,401 He's getting corporate sponsors to give money and give their services for free. 804 00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:58,489 We need money. We need lights. We need a little smoke machine. 805 00:51:58,615 --> 00:52:02,493 We need someone to help us do the hanging, because l can't. 806 00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:06,038 - l think l need someone... - Mr Poppy, stop it, please. Seriously. 807 00:52:06,164 --> 00:52:09,583 - What are you doing? - l think l'm having a heart attack. 808 00:52:09,709 --> 00:52:11,544 - Mr Maddens? - Don't touch me. 809 00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:15,256 - Mr Maddens, you're upset, aren't you? - Oh! 810 00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:18,717 l can give you a cuddle? Cuddles make it all go away. 811 00:52:18,844 --> 00:52:20,845 l promise. Feel this. 812 00:52:21,888 --> 00:52:24,723 You're hurting me. 813 00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:28,102 We can do this, Mr Maddens, can't we? Yes, we can. 814 00:52:28,228 --> 00:52:31,147 - No, we can't. - We can. We can. 815 00:52:31,273 --> 00:52:35,734 Look, l'll leave you here, all right? You can listen to the music. 816 00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:38,445 - (Music playing) - Relax, l'll take care of the children. 817 00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:43,534 Believe, Mr Maddens. Believe. 818 00:52:43,660 --> 00:52:47,246 (♪ l've had a little makeover And l'm all dressed up tonight... 819 00:52:47,372 --> 00:52:49,456 Out to here. The audience is here. 820 00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:52,710 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink... 821 00:52:53,753 --> 00:52:57,548 - Yes. - (♪ Stand back and put your shades on 822 00:52:57,674 --> 00:52:59,717 (♪ Cos l'm about to shine... 823 00:52:59,843 --> 00:53:03,220 This is an old cathedral. Fill the cathedral. That's good. 824 00:53:03,346 --> 00:53:07,474 - (♪ There's no starlight like mine... - Yes. 825 00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:10,561 - (♪ Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh... - Very good. Wonderful. 826 00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:13,606 Now, see, can you cut the music, please? 827 00:53:13,732 --> 00:53:18,652 That has got to come in after the... (♪ Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh! 828 00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:21,822 (♪ Bosh! Sparkle and shine... 829 00:53:21,948 --> 00:53:23,866 lt has to have that ferocity to it. 830 00:53:23,992 --> 00:53:26,619 lt's a cathedral we're trying to fill, not just this hall. 831 00:53:26,745 --> 00:53:30,414 At the moment you're not even hitting me when l'm here. Again, please. 832 00:53:30,540 --> 00:53:37,087 (♪ l've had a little makeover And l'm all dressed up tonight 833 00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:40,132 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink 834 00:53:40,258 --> 00:53:43,219 (♪ We'll loosen up all right 835 00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:49,099 (♪ Stand back and put your shades on Cos l'm about to shine 836 00:53:49,226 --> 00:53:51,936 (♪ My blinding light will thrill you 837 00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:55,397 (♪ Cos there's no starlight like mine 838 00:53:55,523 --> 00:53:58,609 (♪ Sparkle and shine 839 00:53:58,735 --> 00:54:01,612 (♪ Planets gather round 840 00:54:01,738 --> 00:54:04,615 (♪ Sparkle and shine 841 00:54:04,741 --> 00:54:07,576 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound 842 00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:10,829 (♪ Here's something you won't believe 843 00:54:10,956 --> 00:54:14,166 (♪ lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve... 844 00:54:14,292 --> 00:54:22,299 ♪ Eve ♪ 845 00:54:22,425 --> 00:54:25,010 Very good, very good, well done. 846 00:54:25,136 --> 00:54:28,764 - (Bell rings) - All right, due back here in an hour. Go. 847 00:54:28,890 --> 00:54:32,268 Mr Poppy! Mr... 848 00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:35,354 Right, carefully, please. Carefully, Lucy. 849 00:54:37,399 --> 00:54:39,775 Hello, Sadie. That was great. Well done. 850 00:54:39,901 --> 00:54:42,569 Um...l don't really want to do it. 851 00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:47,157 - You don't want to do what? - The singing and dancing. 852 00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:49,576 Come here, sit down, sit down. 853 00:54:51,579 --> 00:54:53,956 (Clears throat) 854 00:54:54,082 --> 00:54:55,791 Sadie, that was absolutely brilliant. 855 00:54:55,917 --> 00:54:57,876 Everyone's gonna laugh at me. 856 00:54:58,003 --> 00:55:00,254 No, everyone's gonna laugh with you. 857 00:55:00,380 --> 00:55:05,175 Anyone who tells you that anyone's gonna laugh at you must be a fool, 858 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:08,679 because you were great up there, and you shone like the brightest star. 859 00:55:08,805 --> 00:55:12,474 You were really good. Please don't drop out now. 860 00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,311 (Sighs) 861 00:55:15,437 --> 00:55:20,733 Truth be known, l need you. l need all of you in it, OK? 862 00:55:20,859 --> 00:55:23,652 lf you don't do it for yourself, just please look at me. 863 00:55:23,778 --> 00:55:27,823 l'm a man literally on the edge of something, l don't know what. 864 00:55:27,949 --> 00:55:30,617 But if you go now, 865 00:55:30,744 --> 00:55:33,662 it will really, genuinely, 866 00:55:33,788 --> 00:55:36,415 hurt me. 867 00:55:36,541 --> 00:55:39,043 You were great up there. 868 00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:41,920 - Do l have to wear a stupid costume? - Yes. 869 00:55:42,047 --> 00:55:44,715 lt's the nativity, you can't look cool. 870 00:55:44,841 --> 00:55:46,759 Go on, go and have your lunch. 871 00:55:53,141 --> 00:55:55,225 (Sighs) 872 00:55:56,436 --> 00:55:58,854 Oh, you're joking. 873 00:56:20,001 --> 00:56:24,546 (Saffron) 'Dear Father Christmas, l'm so scared of not doing the play properly, 874 00:56:24,672 --> 00:56:27,716 'so please could you make my Christmas wish come true 875 00:56:27,842 --> 00:56:30,427 'and make Hollywood love us in the play? 876 00:56:30,553 --> 00:56:33,472 'PS. Make me be Mary. Love, Saffron.' 877 00:56:36,976 --> 00:56:41,313 (Oli) 'Dear Santa, please send me loads of stuff and surprises. 878 00:56:41,439 --> 00:56:43,399 'l want to be happy and see more of my mum 879 00:56:43,525 --> 00:56:45,984 'because she never spends any time with me. 880 00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:50,823 'And please let me be Joseph. She's never seen me do a school play before. 881 00:56:50,949 --> 00:56:53,492 'Thank you very much. From Oli.' 882 00:56:58,748 --> 00:57:02,334 (Charlotte) 'Dear Santa, please let my Christmas wish come true. 883 00:57:02,460 --> 00:57:07,464 'l'd really love for everyone in the world to be happy, even Mr Maddens. 884 00:57:07,590 --> 00:57:11,510 'Please help him get his girlfriend back when she comes to see us. 885 00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:14,304 'Thank you very much. From Charlotte.' 886 00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:24,857 (Lucy) 'Dear Father Christmas, please make my teacher happy 887 00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:29,528 'because he seems really sad, he doesn't even like Christmas. 888 00:57:29,654 --> 00:57:32,406 'So, please help him find his smile. 889 00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:34,491 'Love from Lucy.' 890 00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:50,215 Right, who wants to go on a death slide? 891 00:57:50,341 --> 00:57:52,885 - Me! - Yes! 892 00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:57,014 - What's going on? - l'm going. 893 00:57:57,140 --> 00:57:59,141 - What do you mean? - l'm going to Hollywood. 894 00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:02,186 - Are you being serious? - Yes, l am. 895 00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:05,689 Aah! l want to kiss you! 896 00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,274 And me too? 897 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:11,862 No, no, you've got to be here, look after the play. You're my wingman. 898 00:58:11,988 --> 00:58:15,657 Yes, Mr Maddens. Send me a postcard, man. 899 00:58:15,783 --> 00:58:18,368 - l will do. - OK. Duh-duh-duh! 900 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:23,040 (♪ Hollywood's a-coming! Hollywood's a-coming! (♪ 901 00:58:24,542 --> 00:58:28,003 (PA) 'Flight 715 is now ready for boarding...' 902 00:58:28,129 --> 00:58:30,756 - Mr Maddens! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 903 00:58:30,882 --> 00:58:33,842 - Room for two little ones? - Sorry? 904 00:58:33,968 --> 00:58:36,887 - William and Saffron are coming. - They can't. 905 00:58:37,013 --> 00:58:41,225 l've got the consent forms from the parents. Passports. l've got the tickets. 906 00:58:41,351 --> 00:58:44,978 Miss Rye and l thought it'd be a really good idea if they come with you, 907 00:58:45,104 --> 00:58:48,482 because they can do the singing, dance and do the opening numbers. 908 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,485 The gate's closing. What are your allergies? 909 00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:54,404 Ponies, horses, donkeys and cats. 910 00:58:54,531 --> 00:58:58,659 - You'd better take these back. - lt's a good idea. lt's a good idea. 911 00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,577 - Desmond. - They can help you. 912 00:59:00,703 --> 00:59:03,288 l'm not taking two children on an eleven-hour flight. 913 00:59:03,414 --> 00:59:05,958 ((♪ THE RONETTES: "Sleigh Ride") 914 00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:16,760 (♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling Ring-ting-tingling too 915 00:59:16,886 --> 00:59:19,096 (♪ Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong 916 00:59:19,222 --> 00:59:23,642 (♪ Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you 917 00:59:23,768 --> 00:59:27,521 (♪ Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling, "Yoo-hoo!" 918 00:59:27,647 --> 00:59:30,148 (♪ Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong (♪ 919 00:59:30,275 --> 00:59:33,110 - Mr Maddens, look what we've found! - What is it? 920 00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:38,156 So, we're in the right area. We're closer to her than we were at the beach. Good. 921 00:59:38,283 --> 00:59:42,244 We should be getting very near Beverly Hills now. 922 00:59:42,370 --> 00:59:44,454 Saffron! 923 00:59:46,374 --> 00:59:50,127 lf we come across anyone, let me do the talking and you keep schtum, OK? 924 00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,920 Now just follow me. 925 00:59:52,046 --> 00:59:54,381 Excuse me. Do you guys have an appointment? 926 00:59:54,507 --> 00:59:59,011 l have an appointment with Jennifer Lore. My name is Paul Maddens. 927 00:59:59,137 --> 01:00:03,181 - Can l see some lD, please? - Sorry? 928 01:00:03,308 --> 01:00:06,268 - l need to see a piece of lD. - l'm so sorry. 929 01:00:06,394 --> 01:00:09,605 l haven't got it with me. l was going to meet her for lunch. 930 01:00:09,731 --> 01:00:13,191 You're not on the list. So l wouldn't be able to let you on, even if you had it. 931 01:00:13,318 --> 01:00:16,987 ls it possible to check? l'm here. l've come all the way with them.. 932 01:00:17,113 --> 01:00:21,950 l just updated this, but l'll check one more time for you. So, you stay here. 933 01:00:23,119 --> 01:00:26,997 - Follow me! Come on, this way! - Hey, stop! Come here! Stop! 934 01:00:27,123 --> 01:00:29,166 Come here! Stop! 935 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:31,627 Quick! 936 01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,712 Come on! 937 01:00:36,841 --> 01:00:38,717 OK, come here, come here. 938 01:00:38,843 --> 01:00:42,387 - Hold on tight. - Hey, stop! 939 01:00:45,224 --> 01:00:48,852 Stop, wait! Respect the badge! Stop! 940 01:00:48,978 --> 01:00:52,814 - Help! l can't slow down! - Whoa! Whoa! 941 01:00:52,940 --> 01:00:56,109 Think Gabriel! Father Thomas, it's not your bit. 942 01:00:56,235 --> 01:00:59,071 What do you mean, it's not my bit? 943 01:01:00,740 --> 01:01:02,991 (Bleating) 944 01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:11,124 (Piglet squealing) 945 01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:28,558 Oh! 946 01:01:34,107 --> 01:01:36,692 Good morning, lndependent United Pictures. 947 01:01:36,818 --> 01:01:40,696 That's a David Lowestein? OK, putting you through. 948 01:01:40,822 --> 01:01:44,491 Good morning, lndependent United Pictures. Hi, Angie. 949 01:01:44,617 --> 01:01:46,493 l know. 950 01:01:46,619 --> 01:01:50,580 Putting you through. How can l help you, sir? 951 01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:54,501 - Hi. My name is Paul Maddens. - lndependent United Pictures. Uh-huh. 952 01:01:54,627 --> 01:01:59,131 That's for a Shaun Michell? OK, putting you through. l'm sorry, sir. 953 01:01:59,257 --> 01:02:02,050 Paul Maddens to see Jennifer Lore at 10:00. 954 01:02:02,176 --> 01:02:07,180 - Can l take your name again, sir? - Paul Maddens. M-A-D-D-E-N-S. 955 01:02:07,306 --> 01:02:10,016 - And that's a P-A-U-L-L? - P-A-U-L. 956 01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:14,312 - No, just one L. - L. l don't have that appointment, sir. 957 01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:18,358 - Sir, move away from the desk. - l've moved away. 958 01:02:18,484 --> 01:02:20,485 Tony, we have children in reception! 959 01:02:20,611 --> 01:02:23,321 - So what's the problem there? - Tony! 960 01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:27,159 - Calm down. - l'm so sorry, there's this crazy guy... 961 01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:30,954 - And he's been... - Yeah, no, it's fine. lt's OK. lt's fine. 962 01:02:36,627 --> 01:02:38,879 You look amazing. 963 01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:41,673 - Why are you here? - You know why l'm here. 964 01:02:41,799 --> 01:02:45,135 You didn't give me much of a choice. You wouldn't return my calls. 965 01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:47,637 Paul, l don't understand what l'm meant to do. 966 01:02:47,764 --> 01:02:50,682 Look, you shouldn't be involved in it 967 01:02:50,808 --> 01:02:53,226 but somehow we've got to a situation 968 01:02:53,352 --> 01:02:56,146 where the whole town thinks that Hollywood are coming. 969 01:02:56,272 --> 01:02:58,690 Why do l feel like l'm suddenly ten years ago? 970 01:02:58,816 --> 01:03:01,818 l tried to maintain a contact with you. 971 01:03:01,944 --> 01:03:05,363 - You did not want anything to... - Excuse me. Sorry. Jen. 972 01:03:05,490 --> 01:03:07,741 - This is that letter of agreement. - OK. 973 01:03:07,867 --> 01:03:11,703 - You can take time off and come and... - l can't take time off. 974 01:03:11,829 --> 01:03:17,083 Hang on. All of a sudden, an executive producer can't just take their time off? 975 01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:21,171 - l'm not an executive producer. - What are you, then? 976 01:03:21,297 --> 01:03:24,966 l...l file, l answer phone calls, l speak to people. 977 01:03:25,092 --> 01:03:27,052 l put people in meetings, out of meetings. 978 01:03:27,178 --> 01:03:29,054 - A secretary? - Yeah. 979 01:03:29,180 --> 01:03:32,140 You can't be a secretary. You can't be a secretary. 980 01:03:32,266 --> 01:03:35,185 She does a lot more than that, and you should respect her... 981 01:03:35,311 --> 01:03:39,689 Yes, l am. l am pretty much a secretary. Yeah, yeah. 982 01:03:40,983 --> 01:03:43,318 l'm sorry, look l know this is mad. 983 01:03:43,444 --> 01:03:46,863 l know this is insane and it's my fault. 984 01:03:46,989 --> 01:03:50,700 l'm asking you for one more favour and then l'll be out of your life. 985 01:03:50,827 --> 01:03:52,702 l can't do anything, l have no power. 986 01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:55,705 lf you can't do it, who can? Harrison, are you up for it? 987 01:03:55,832 --> 01:03:58,959 - No, l'm sorry you came all this way. - Trip to England? 988 01:03:59,085 --> 01:04:02,712 Paul, listen, l'm really sorry that you've come over here. 989 01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:05,215 - ls there a Harvey or Bob? - There's not. 990 01:04:05,341 --> 01:04:07,759 - Who could help me out? - Have you got an appointment? 991 01:04:07,885 --> 01:04:12,889 No, but l'm not leaving here with these two without something to take home. 992 01:04:13,015 --> 01:04:15,725 Come here! 993 01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:18,812 - Kevin, get Security. - Security, please. 994 01:04:18,938 --> 01:04:21,898 Come on. Here it is. This way. This way. 995 01:04:22,024 --> 01:04:25,151 Have you heard of the nativity? 996 01:04:25,278 --> 01:04:28,154 - (Sighs) - You have. l can tell you have. 997 01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:30,448 Right, so we're doing our nativity show. 998 01:04:30,575 --> 01:04:33,368 - Mary meets Joseph, they give birth... - l know the story. 999 01:04:33,494 --> 01:04:37,539 OK, you know the story, then, but it's being performed by 24 children... 1000 01:04:37,665 --> 01:04:43,211 lt happens every year in every school around the world where Christians are. 1001 01:04:43,337 --> 01:04:45,589 So, what's so special about yours? 1002 01:04:45,715 --> 01:04:48,633 A good question. Here's an even better answer. 1003 01:04:48,759 --> 01:04:50,969 One, two, three, four. 1004 01:04:51,095 --> 01:04:56,766 - (♪ Things are really cool in Nazareth... - Sing it out. 1005 01:04:56,893 --> 01:05:00,937 (♪ Our city is full of joy 1006 01:05:01,063 --> 01:05:04,983 (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy... 1007 01:05:05,109 --> 01:05:08,570 Yes, that's a Shaun Burridge, putting you through. 1008 01:05:08,696 --> 01:05:10,822 (Paul) Last chance. 1009 01:05:13,117 --> 01:05:17,287 - Bye, Paul. Thanks for dropping by. - Oh, shut up, Harrison. 1010 01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:22,709 (Sighs) 1011 01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:28,423 They're not coming, are they? 1012 01:05:30,092 --> 01:05:31,676 No, they're not. 1013 01:05:31,802 --> 01:05:35,430 - ls it our fault? - Hey, what? No. 1014 01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:38,975 No, it's not your fault. Come on. 1015 01:05:40,561 --> 01:05:44,022 Although you could have sung a bit better. 1016 01:05:48,486 --> 01:05:53,365 They're expecting Hollywood to come and see their show. 1017 01:05:54,450 --> 01:05:56,952 Mr Parker, we can make that happen. 1018 01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:59,746 l got 50 states. 1019 01:05:59,872 --> 01:06:04,209 l've got hundreds of towns in each one of those states 1020 01:06:04,335 --> 01:06:07,128 that are putting on a nativity play. 1021 01:06:07,254 --> 01:06:09,839 l don't need to travel 6,000 miles. 1022 01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:13,510 Mr Parker, l need you to do this for me. 1023 01:06:14,470 --> 01:06:17,430 l have worked here for three years and... 1024 01:06:17,556 --> 01:06:23,436 every morning at ten to eight l take your coat, l hang it up. 1025 01:06:23,562 --> 01:06:27,607 At nine o'clock l get you your coffee, l put it on your table. 1026 01:06:27,733 --> 01:06:30,986 l take away the letters, l put them into the out box, 1027 01:06:31,112 --> 01:06:35,782 l take the other letters and put them into the in box. l file, l fax, l smile. 1028 01:06:35,908 --> 01:06:38,952 Jennifer, 1029 01:06:39,078 --> 01:06:41,204 that's what you're paid to do. 1030 01:06:42,707 --> 01:06:44,791 l know. 1031 01:06:45,876 --> 01:06:47,919 - Yes. - Yes. 1032 01:06:53,342 --> 01:06:56,553 - Hello. - Well? 1033 01:06:58,431 --> 01:07:00,432 No joy. 1034 01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:07,564 (Mrs Bevan) To take two children out of here without my permission! 1035 01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:11,651 - Mrs Bevan, l have consent. - Thank goodness for that! 1036 01:07:11,777 --> 01:07:13,903 lt was the first thing Mr Poppy gave me. 1037 01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:18,158 Otherwise it would be abduction and the whole school would have to close. 1038 01:07:18,284 --> 01:07:20,744 l would never have got on the plane had l not had these. 1039 01:07:20,870 --> 01:07:25,540 Do you realise the school could get into severe trouble over this? 1040 01:07:29,128 --> 01:07:33,298 - What is this? - l don't know what that is. 1041 01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:35,884 What is that? Did you do that? 1042 01:07:38,554 --> 01:07:41,848 Desmond, l trusted you. l trusted you with children. 1043 01:07:41,974 --> 01:07:45,268 Small lives. l thought you could rise to the challenge. 1044 01:07:45,394 --> 01:07:48,438 - But you have been a disaster. - l'm really sorry, Auntie Pat. 1045 01:07:48,564 --> 01:07:52,942 - Did you know about this? - Not that. But l did know about... 1046 01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:55,487 - No. - What did you know? 1047 01:07:55,613 --> 01:07:59,240 - We've got to tell her. - Speak to me. What did you know? 1048 01:07:59,366 --> 01:08:03,286 Well, actually, Hollywood, they're not coming. 1049 01:08:03,412 --> 01:08:07,248 Paul, Mr Maddens panicked, l think, 1050 01:08:07,374 --> 01:08:10,502 and, er...lied. 1051 01:08:10,628 --> 01:08:14,464 Why did l ever, ever for a minute think that this school 1052 01:08:14,590 --> 01:08:17,342 would ever have anything good happen to it, 1053 01:08:17,468 --> 01:08:19,886 and out of the ordinary and successful and... 1054 01:08:20,012 --> 01:08:23,598 and helpful to me and the children? 1055 01:08:23,724 --> 01:08:26,518 Why did l ever think that would happen? Of course it wouldn't. 1056 01:08:26,644 --> 01:08:29,312 - Mrs Bevan. - Start looking for another job. 1057 01:08:29,438 --> 01:08:32,148 - Sorry? - And you, you're out. 1058 01:08:35,736 --> 01:08:38,696 You're irresponsible, you're not focused. 1059 01:08:38,823 --> 01:08:41,783 You're, l think, possibly educationally subnormal. 1060 01:08:41,909 --> 01:08:45,662 You have an attitude of wanting to be a friend to the children 1061 01:08:45,788 --> 01:08:48,164 rather than a professional adult. 1062 01:08:48,290 --> 01:08:52,710 Which anybody can do. Any fool can say, "Who wants to meet a pig? 1063 01:08:52,837 --> 01:08:56,297 "Hands up, who wants to go to a hospital." Any fool can do that. 1064 01:08:56,423 --> 01:09:01,302 And it transpires that you are that any fool, and l really had high hopes for you. 1065 01:09:01,428 --> 01:09:04,139 For five minutes l thought you were something else, 1066 01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:07,559 but, no, it transpires you are actually just an idiot. 1067 01:09:09,478 --> 01:09:11,563 (Sobs) 1068 01:09:13,357 --> 01:09:16,025 As you know, l've been away for a couple of days 1069 01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:22,157 and in that time something has changed regarding our nativity. 1070 01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:25,451 l'm afraid l let you believe that Hollywood were coming 1071 01:09:25,578 --> 01:09:26,953 and they're not coming. 1072 01:09:27,079 --> 01:09:29,038 But worse than that, 1073 01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:34,252 we are not actually being allowed to do the show, there will be no nativity at all. 1074 01:09:34,378 --> 01:09:38,631 Can't we do the show anyway? We don't care about Hollywood. 1075 01:09:38,757 --> 01:09:42,552 Unfortunately not. Mrs Bevan is not gonna let us do the show. 1076 01:09:42,678 --> 01:09:48,057 Please, please, please, Mr Maddens. Can we still do the nativity? Please? 1077 01:09:48,184 --> 01:09:49,976 l told a lie, 1078 01:09:50,102 --> 01:09:55,607 and l let that lie grow and multiply and turn into lots of other little lies, 1079 01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:59,110 and, as l've told you all, probably, on many different occasions, 1080 01:09:59,236 --> 01:10:04,782 a lie always, always causes more problems than it solves. 1081 01:10:04,909 --> 01:10:09,746 Which is why l shan't be here next term. 1082 01:10:09,872 --> 01:10:13,541 This will be my last term here. l won't be coming back. 1083 01:10:13,667 --> 01:10:17,837 And worse than losing my job, my position, my security, 1084 01:10:17,963 --> 01:10:22,133 much worse than that is that l'm not gonna see any of you again. 1085 01:10:22,259 --> 01:10:24,844 And... 1086 01:10:26,597 --> 01:10:29,098 ...that's a very hurtful thing for me. 1087 01:10:30,351 --> 01:10:33,436 Come on, back to your class, please. 1088 01:10:33,562 --> 01:10:40,860 (♪ Have yourself a merry little Christmas 1089 01:10:42,613 --> 01:10:47,367 (♪ Let your heart be light 1090 01:10:50,996 --> 01:10:59,963 (♪ Next year all our troubles Will be out of sight... (♪ 1091 01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:04,384 - There's a wee joke in it. - ls there? 1092 01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:06,469 Oh! 1093 01:11:08,639 --> 01:11:12,141 - Just that little bit there. - That's good. 1094 01:11:12,268 --> 01:11:15,395 - Hey. - Jennifer, how are you? 1095 01:11:15,521 --> 01:11:18,022 - l'm all right. - Good to see you. 1096 01:11:24,863 --> 01:11:28,825 (♪ Until then We'll have to muddle through... 1097 01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:31,411 - l love you. - l love you, too. 1098 01:11:31,537 --> 01:11:36,791 (♪ Somehow 1099 01:11:40,045 --> 01:11:44,007 (♪ So have yourself 1100 01:11:44,133 --> 01:11:48,303 (♪ A merry little Christmas... (♪ 1101 01:11:48,429 --> 01:11:51,931 Who are you and where do you come from? 1102 01:11:52,057 --> 01:11:58,688 We are the three kings and we've come to find the baby Jesus. 1103 01:11:58,814 --> 01:12:01,232 He's the new King of the Jews. 1104 01:12:01,358 --> 01:12:03,901 Kill every boy child in this land! 1105 01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:11,242 - Where's my baby? Where's my baby? - Where's my baby? Where's my baby? 1106 01:12:11,368 --> 01:12:13,411 (Shouting) 1107 01:12:18,542 --> 01:12:21,169 (Screaming) 1108 01:12:34,224 --> 01:12:36,184 l am the King! 1109 01:12:40,564 --> 01:12:44,776 (♪ So have yourself 1110 01:12:44,902 --> 01:12:51,449 (♪ A merry little Christmas 1111 01:12:51,575 --> 01:12:53,534 (♪ Now... (♪ 1112 01:12:53,660 --> 01:12:59,749 Nouns are used to name a person, animal, place, thing or idea. 1113 01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:03,127 We've got football, pineapple, iguana, guitar. 1114 01:13:03,253 --> 01:13:08,424 Nouns can be replaced by these pronouns. 1115 01:13:08,550 --> 01:13:10,802 They can replace nouns or other pronouns. 1116 01:13:10,928 --> 01:13:16,099 So, ours, she, one, he, it, this, these, you, none. 1117 01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:18,976 - Are you all right, Cleo? - No, not very. 1118 01:13:19,103 --> 01:13:21,979 - What's the problem? - Nothing. 1119 01:13:22,940 --> 01:13:26,275 - TJ? - l miss Mr Poppy. 1120 01:13:26,402 --> 01:13:28,611 Everyone misses Mr Poppy. 1121 01:13:28,737 --> 01:13:31,823 We'd be doing the play if Mr Poppy was still here. 1122 01:13:49,883 --> 01:13:56,597 Poppy! Poppy! 1123 01:13:57,683 --> 01:14:03,229 What am l doing? Meet me in the hall in ten minutes. We're doing the play. 1124 01:14:03,355 --> 01:14:05,731 (Cheering) 1125 01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,902 (Sighs) 1126 01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:19,078 - All right? - (Sheep bleats) 1127 01:14:20,873 --> 01:14:23,541 Desmond, l've come to apologise. 1128 01:14:23,667 --> 01:14:26,586 l said some things to you that were unforgivable, 1129 01:14:26,712 --> 01:14:29,422 and that weren't true and that were mean, 1130 01:14:29,548 --> 01:14:33,509 and l want you to come and do the play with me because l've told the children 1131 01:14:33,635 --> 01:14:36,262 and l can't do it without you. 1132 01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:40,141 l messed everything up. 1133 01:14:40,267 --> 01:14:42,894 l know l put it on you, l know l did. 1134 01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:45,062 You were right all along, 1135 01:14:45,189 --> 01:14:48,983 and for a dundus, you've been right on the money every single step of the way. 1136 01:14:49,109 --> 01:14:52,069 You said l was scared, l denied it. You were absolutely right. 1137 01:14:52,196 --> 01:14:56,824 You said l was still in love with Jennifer, l denied it and you were absolutely right. 1138 01:15:04,708 --> 01:15:08,753 Well, let's do it. What are you waiting for? We better get going, all right? 1139 01:15:08,879 --> 01:15:11,422 - You're going to do it? - Yeah, let's do it. 1140 01:15:11,548 --> 01:15:14,008 Right, thank you. You're not gonna regret it. 1141 01:15:21,975 --> 01:15:24,644 Oh, my gosh! 1142 01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:26,938 lt looks amazing. 1143 01:15:27,064 --> 01:15:29,565 You remember where to press the button. 1144 01:15:29,691 --> 01:15:33,444 - Don't be nervous, you're a Nazarean. - Mr Maddens? 1145 01:15:33,570 --> 01:15:37,198 l don't want to be a building. l want to get a proper part. 1146 01:15:37,324 --> 01:15:39,867 You're playing part of Nazareth in a song called Nazareth. 1147 01:15:39,993 --> 01:15:41,911 Now, please, everyone calm down! 1148 01:15:42,037 --> 01:15:43,829 Fingers crossed, my friend. 1149 01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:48,167 - l'm nervous. l don't want to do it. - l'm nervous, and l don't want to do it. 1150 01:15:48,293 --> 01:15:50,836 But it's you and me. We're gonna beat them all. 1151 01:15:54,883 --> 01:15:59,095 Come on, Mr Maddens. We've got to get going. We haven't got much time. 1152 01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:02,181 This is what everybody in Nazareth used to wear, even the women. 1153 01:16:02,307 --> 01:16:04,225 Not on the women, no. 1154 01:16:07,563 --> 01:16:10,314 (Whispers) Buddy, Buddy, it's exciting, isn't it? 1155 01:16:10,440 --> 01:16:12,692 Look, the audience are filling up. 1156 01:16:12,818 --> 01:16:16,153 OK, everybody listen up, all right? 1157 01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:18,739 Big bit of advice and l had to learn this the hard way. 1158 01:16:18,865 --> 01:16:21,826 Can everybody make sure you've done a poo and a wee, 1159 01:16:21,952 --> 01:16:24,579 because there won't be a chance when we get the show going, 1160 01:16:24,705 --> 01:16:27,123 So, you can use my caravan, do a poo and wee. 1161 01:16:27,249 --> 01:16:30,668 Come back! Come back! There will be no show this evening. 1162 01:16:30,794 --> 01:16:34,714 Now, l have just had a phone call telling me that this was all happening. 1163 01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,799 - What is all this? - Mrs Bevan. 1164 01:16:36,925 --> 01:16:40,970 l cancelled this performance! l cancelled the show! You are sacked! 1165 01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:44,223 - You know you are sacked. - What else can you do to me? 1166 01:16:44,349 --> 01:16:47,977 - Desmond! Desmond! - Thank you! This is marvellous! 1167 01:16:48,103 --> 01:16:50,646 - Well done, young man. Look at them! - Thank you. 1168 01:16:50,772 --> 01:16:53,649 Don't they look wonderful? Break a leg, kids! 1169 01:16:53,775 --> 01:16:56,402 - l need to have the microphone. - OK, l'm gonna do it. 1170 01:16:56,528 --> 01:16:59,572 - Can you watch from that wing, please? - Come on, love. 1171 01:16:59,698 --> 01:17:05,036 This is gonna be sensational. The town will be so proud of you. 1172 01:17:09,166 --> 01:17:11,542 Ladies and gentlemen, mums and dads, 1173 01:17:11,668 --> 01:17:16,130 l just want to thank you for all the effort you've put into the show. 1174 01:17:16,256 --> 01:17:20,384 But if l had to single any one person out for their efforts, 1175 01:17:20,510 --> 01:17:24,263 for their time, their diligence and their enthusiasm, 1176 01:17:24,389 --> 01:17:29,560 it would have to be Mrs B, better known to you as Mrs Bevan. 1177 01:17:29,686 --> 01:17:32,063 - Come on, come and take a bow. - (Applause) 1178 01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:35,232 Mrs Bevan. Come on. Come on. 1179 01:17:35,901 --> 01:17:38,653 (Cheering) 1180 01:17:40,697 --> 01:17:45,368 Um...hello. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, it's very kind of you. 1181 01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:50,039 Er...this will be my last nativity play, so it's a bit special, really. 1182 01:17:50,165 --> 01:17:51,582 We're used to the school hall, 1183 01:17:51,708 --> 01:17:57,254 we don't have all this beauty around us normally for the play. 1184 01:17:57,381 --> 01:18:00,966 The mums and dads who've been to see our nativity play know that, er... 1185 01:18:01,093 --> 01:18:04,929 you know, things can go a little bit wrong with the little ones. 1186 01:18:05,055 --> 01:18:07,973 Don't expect... l was going to say, don't expect too much. 1187 01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:11,310 But, er...l shouldn't have said that. 1188 01:18:11,436 --> 01:18:13,270 Smack. 1189 01:18:13,397 --> 01:18:18,067 Nobody ever expects enough of the children at St Bernadette's. 1190 01:18:18,193 --> 01:18:22,405 Everyone expects them to go down the drain, 1191 01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:25,032 and l'm going to change that. 1192 01:18:26,743 --> 01:18:29,203 That's what l said 17 years ago and, er... 1193 01:18:29,329 --> 01:18:31,747 tonight it stands a chance of coming true. 1194 01:18:31,873 --> 01:18:36,043 l've not seen it. l don't know what's gonna happen. 1195 01:18:36,169 --> 01:18:41,757 But all l know is that each and every one of these children is amazing 1196 01:18:41,883 --> 01:18:46,137 and wonderful and a little pocket of stardust. 1197 01:18:46,263 --> 01:18:48,180 Hear, hear. 1198 01:18:49,933 --> 01:18:51,559 Hope you enjoy it. 1199 01:19:01,445 --> 01:19:07,074 (♪ Things are really cool in Nazareth 1200 01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:11,203 (♪ Our city is full of joy 1201 01:19:11,329 --> 01:19:16,000 (♪ Cos this is where girl meets boy 1202 01:19:17,085 --> 01:19:22,298 (♪ Barely out of school in Nazareth 1203 01:19:22,424 --> 01:19:26,302 (♪ Parents join hand in hand 1204 01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:30,306 (♪ This is no one-night stand 1205 01:19:30,432 --> 01:19:33,893 (♪ A wedding is being planned 1206 01:19:34,019 --> 01:19:37,646 (♪ Here in Nazareth... 1207 01:19:39,816 --> 01:19:41,776 Sing out, sing out. 1208 01:19:42,944 --> 01:19:47,198 (♪ Nazareth, the place to live 1209 01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:51,160 (♪ Always willing to forgive 1210 01:19:51,286 --> 01:19:54,413 (♪ Nazareth, your big heart swells 1211 01:19:54,539 --> 01:19:59,502 (♪ We can hear those wedding bells 1212 01:20:02,380 --> 01:20:08,844 (♪ Feeling in a fix in Nazareth 1213 01:20:08,970 --> 01:20:12,306 (♪ Rules there to be obeyed 1214 01:20:12,432 --> 01:20:17,478 (♪ Arrangements are being made 1215 01:20:17,604 --> 01:20:20,731 (♪ Got to get your kicks 1216 01:20:20,857 --> 01:20:24,401 (♪ ln Nazareth 1217 01:20:24,528 --> 01:20:27,613 (♪ Maybe you'll run away 1218 01:20:27,739 --> 01:20:31,200 (♪ Start out a brand-new day 1219 01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:35,204 (♪ Still you cannot betray 1220 01:20:35,330 --> 01:20:39,083 (♪ Good old Nazareth... 1221 01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:42,294 (Cheering and whistling) 1222 01:20:50,387 --> 01:20:53,013 (♪ He's not my type 1223 01:20:54,140 --> 01:20:56,976 (♪ She's not too bad 1224 01:20:57,853 --> 01:21:04,066 (♪ Not the most gorgeous l've ever had 1225 01:21:04,192 --> 01:21:08,112 (♪ l'll grow to love her 1226 01:21:08,238 --> 01:21:11,907 (♪ lt might work out 1227 01:21:12,033 --> 01:21:18,414 (♪ Too young to know what it's all about 1228 01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:22,543 (♪ And yet there's something 1229 01:21:22,669 --> 01:21:26,338 (♪ Behind those eyes 1230 01:21:26,464 --> 01:21:33,053 (♪ A fire that flickers but never lies 1231 01:21:33,763 --> 01:21:37,057 (♪ Could l love him? 1232 01:21:37,183 --> 01:21:40,436 (♪ Could she love me? 1233 01:21:40,562 --> 01:21:48,402 (♪ You can't rush lnto what is meant to be 1234 01:21:52,032 --> 01:21:54,825 (♪ One look 1235 01:21:54,951 --> 01:21:58,120 (♪ And we're forever 1236 01:21:58,246 --> 01:22:00,289 (♪ One look 1237 01:22:00,415 --> 01:22:05,794 (♪ And it's like we've always known 1238 01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:08,881 (♪ One look 1239 01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:13,302 (♪ We're boxing clever 1240 01:22:13,428 --> 01:22:17,056 (♪ Together forever 1241 01:22:17,182 --> 01:22:20,559 (♪ And always home 1242 01:22:20,685 --> 01:22:24,104 (♪ Together forever 1243 01:22:24,230 --> 01:22:26,106 (♪ And always... 1244 01:22:26,232 --> 01:22:28,651 (♪ Always, always 1245 01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:31,612 (♪ Home! (♪ 1246 01:22:31,738 --> 01:22:34,531 (Cheering and applause) 1247 01:22:39,079 --> 01:22:41,705 (Applause fades) 1248 01:22:45,126 --> 01:22:47,795 OK, mate, it's your big moment. 1249 01:22:50,507 --> 01:22:52,758 Don't look down. 1250 01:22:52,884 --> 01:22:55,469 (Thunderclap) 1251 01:22:56,471 --> 01:22:58,305 (Screams) 1252 01:23:18,827 --> 01:23:23,205 (♪ OK, people, hear the news l've got something to yell about 1253 01:23:23,331 --> 01:23:27,710 (♪ OK, people, forget the blues Here's something to feel swell about 1254 01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:31,630 (♪ Good news, click your fingers Good news, stamp your feet 1255 01:23:31,756 --> 01:23:34,299 (♪ Good news always lingers 1256 01:23:34,426 --> 01:23:36,760 (♪ Good news, feel the beat 1257 01:23:36,886 --> 01:23:41,056 (♪ Good news, wakey-wakey Good news, shake your ass 1258 01:23:41,182 --> 01:23:45,602 (♪ Good news, shakey, shakey! Good news, mission mass! 1259 01:23:45,729 --> 01:23:48,480 (♪ Good news! 1260 01:23:54,821 --> 01:23:57,573 (♪ Hey, little sister, hear the word 1261 01:23:59,451 --> 01:24:02,786 (♪ There ain't no need for a big stork bird 1262 01:24:04,205 --> 01:24:06,331 (♪ Time to holler, time to dance... 1263 01:24:06,458 --> 01:24:08,417 Ooh! 1264 01:24:08,543 --> 01:24:11,211 (♪ You're gonna need some bigger pants 1265 01:24:11,337 --> 01:24:14,173 (♪ Good news! Good news! 1266 01:24:14,299 --> 01:24:19,928 (♪ Yeah, good news 1267 01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:22,306 (♪ Good news, yeah! 1268 01:24:24,517 --> 01:24:26,977 (♪ Your belly's growing You get the idea... 1269 01:24:30,607 --> 01:24:32,608 - Mr Maddens? - Yes, darling? 1270 01:24:32,734 --> 01:24:34,693 l have a tummy ache, l don't think l can go on. 1271 01:24:34,819 --> 01:24:38,447 - Have you tried taking deep breaths? - Yeah. 1272 01:24:38,573 --> 01:24:40,741 - Tried taking your hat off, for once? - Mm-hm. 1273 01:24:40,867 --> 01:24:43,327 - Alfie, you're just gonna have to do it. - What? 1274 01:24:43,453 --> 01:24:46,163 - Can you go on in Sam's place, please? - No way. 1275 01:24:46,289 --> 01:24:48,707 - Why? - Because that's a girl's costume. 1276 01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:52,836 You already look like Barbarella. Go in there and get dressed. Thank you, Sam. 1277 01:25:01,471 --> 01:25:03,472 (Applause) 1278 01:25:05,850 --> 01:25:08,393 (Applause and cheering) 1279 01:25:13,691 --> 01:25:19,863 Mary and Joseph were told they had to travel to Bethlehem to be counted 1280 01:25:19,989 --> 01:25:22,908 because of the nasty, mean King Herod. 1281 01:25:23,034 --> 01:25:25,452 - (Gordon) Stop, everyone! - Mary had to run... 1282 01:25:25,578 --> 01:25:28,539 Stop! You shut up! Stop! Stop, everyone! 1283 01:25:28,665 --> 01:25:31,208 That will do. OK. That's the end! Stop! 1284 01:25:31,334 --> 01:25:34,002 - l'll have that, please. Give me that. - (Jeering) 1285 01:25:34,129 --> 01:25:36,588 Right, my name's Gordon Shakespeare. 1286 01:25:36,714 --> 01:25:40,843 You thought you were here to see Hollywood. You're here to meet them. 1287 01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:44,096 Not to see this substandard chav fest! 1288 01:25:44,222 --> 01:25:47,933 lt falls upon me to tell you that no one was coming from Hollywood! 1289 01:25:48,059 --> 01:25:50,853 No one was coming and nobody will! 1290 01:25:50,979 --> 01:25:53,605 That man is a sham! 1291 01:25:54,774 --> 01:25:58,318 As if Hollywood would come to Coventry! No! 1292 01:25:58,444 --> 01:26:02,865 Look at him. He's a dishonest person. 1293 01:26:03,950 --> 01:26:05,909 He lied. 1294 01:26:11,207 --> 01:26:14,001 What is it? 1295 01:26:16,212 --> 01:26:19,006 lt's a star. 1296 01:26:19,883 --> 01:26:21,967 (Whirring) 1297 01:26:26,931 --> 01:26:29,683 lt's Hollywood! 1298 01:26:33,354 --> 01:26:37,107 Ladies and gentlemen, 1299 01:26:37,233 --> 01:26:42,237 may l please introduce to you the star of Bethlehem 1300 01:26:42,363 --> 01:26:46,408 and her sparkling sparklers! 1301 01:26:49,746 --> 01:26:52,623 (♪ Ooh, ooh 1302 01:26:52,749 --> 01:26:56,376 (♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh 1303 01:26:56,502 --> 01:26:58,795 ♪ Ah 1304 01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:03,217 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh... 1305 01:27:03,343 --> 01:27:07,971 OK, everybody, clap your hands. l'm a superstar and l'm coming out tonight. 1306 01:27:08,097 --> 01:27:13,227 (♪ l've had a little makeover And l'm all dressed up tonight 1307 01:27:13,353 --> 01:27:17,105 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink 1308 01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:19,733 (♪ We'll loosen up all right 1309 01:27:19,859 --> 01:27:23,028 (♪ Stand back and put your shades on 1310 01:27:23,154 --> 01:27:25,948 (♪ Because l'm about to shine 1311 01:27:26,074 --> 01:27:28,909 (♪ My blinding light will thrill you 1312 01:27:29,035 --> 01:27:32,454 (♪ Cos there's no starlight like mine 1313 01:27:32,580 --> 01:27:35,123 (♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh 1314 01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:38,168 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1315 01:27:38,294 --> 01:27:41,046 (♪ Planets gather round 1316 01:27:41,172 --> 01:27:44,549 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1317 01:27:44,676 --> 01:27:47,469 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound 1318 01:27:47,595 --> 01:27:50,389 (♪ Here's something you won't believe 1319 01:27:50,515 --> 01:27:55,519 (♪ lt's the first time ever, Christmas Eve 1320 01:27:59,524 --> 01:28:05,028 (♪ l've got my light within me And it's coming out for you 1321 01:28:05,154 --> 01:28:11,702 (♪ l'm dizzy with self-confidence Hope you can feel it too 1322 01:28:11,828 --> 01:28:14,830 (♪ l'm lighting up the skies tonight 1323 01:28:14,956 --> 01:28:17,624 (♪ So come on, join the party 1324 01:28:17,750 --> 01:28:20,585 (♪ Make the moment last all night 1325 01:28:20,712 --> 01:28:23,880 (♪ And keep the skies all starry... 1326 01:28:24,007 --> 01:28:28,468 Oli! Oli! Your mum's here. l just saw her. She's right at the back. 1327 01:28:28,594 --> 01:28:32,222 So, when you do your rap, just look for her and give it your everything. 1328 01:28:32,348 --> 01:28:34,474 - And the donkey's freaking out. - Sorry? 1329 01:28:34,600 --> 01:28:37,394 l didn't have any mints so l gave it chocolate. lt's feeling icky. 1330 01:28:37,520 --> 01:28:40,355 - You gave it chocolate? - Yeah, l've got to do narration. 1331 01:28:41,899 --> 01:28:45,110 (♪ Here's something you won't believe 1332 01:28:45,236 --> 01:28:49,197 (♪ lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve... 1333 01:28:49,324 --> 01:28:52,200 (Applause) 1334 01:29:11,929 --> 01:29:19,478 The four kings saw the beautiful shining star rising from the east side. 1335 01:29:19,604 --> 01:29:23,732 They thought she looked... Rrrr! 1336 01:29:23,858 --> 01:29:26,777 So they decided to follow her. 1337 01:29:39,707 --> 01:29:41,625 One time. 1338 01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:43,710 Come on. Come on. 1339 01:29:45,546 --> 01:29:50,467 - Two times, come on. - (♪ Shining down the light 1340 01:29:50,593 --> 01:29:55,097 - (♪ Peace to the star - (♪ Shining down the light 1341 01:29:57,725 --> 01:30:01,019 (♪ What a moment when l saw her first 1342 01:30:01,145 --> 01:30:03,814 (♪ She stole my heart 1343 01:30:03,940 --> 01:30:06,650 (♪ So it's about to burst 1344 01:30:06,776 --> 01:30:11,321 (♪ l'm the guy she twinkles for, je t'adore 1345 01:30:11,447 --> 01:30:14,032 (♪ Cos she's blinding me with love 1346 01:30:14,158 --> 01:30:16,701 (♪ She's my saviour from above 1347 01:30:16,828 --> 01:30:19,788 (♪ She's the brightest star l've ever seen 1348 01:30:19,914 --> 01:30:21,206 (♪ Brightest star 1349 01:30:21,332 --> 01:30:24,167 (♪ lt's like we're living ln some kind of dream 1350 01:30:24,293 --> 01:30:26,420 (♪ lt's like some kind of dream 1351 01:30:26,546 --> 01:30:30,715 (♪ Why do l feel overcome With hope and joy? 1352 01:30:30,842 --> 01:30:33,093 (♪ Because she's shining down her light 1353 01:30:33,219 --> 01:30:37,764 (♪ And she's going to be my girl And me her boy 1354 01:30:39,100 --> 01:30:42,310 (♪ l'm feeling like l've got to follow her 1355 01:30:42,437 --> 01:30:45,856 (♪ With frankincense And lots of gold and myrrh... 1356 01:30:45,982 --> 01:30:47,607 Excuse me. 1357 01:30:47,733 --> 01:30:52,362 (♪ She is going to lead the way To Christmas day 1358 01:30:52,488 --> 01:30:54,698 (♪ Hallelujah feeling good 1359 01:30:54,824 --> 01:30:57,367 (♪ Time to leave this neighbourhood... 1360 01:31:06,961 --> 01:31:09,546 Hello, Mr Maddens. 1361 01:31:11,048 --> 01:31:13,842 You weren't coming. 1362 01:31:13,968 --> 01:31:15,385 l know. 1363 01:31:41,954 --> 01:31:43,914 (♪ She's my shining star from above 1364 01:31:44,040 --> 01:31:46,917 (♪ She twinkles and she sprinkles And l want to be her love 1365 01:31:47,043 --> 01:31:49,211 (♪ l want to squeeze her, please her Share a slice of pizza 1366 01:31:49,337 --> 01:31:51,588 (♪ Extra spicy! 1367 01:31:51,714 --> 01:31:53,924 (♪ She makes me hot under the collar And fizzy deep inside 1368 01:31:54,050 --> 01:31:56,259 (♪ l wish l could lasso her And take her for a ride 1369 01:31:56,385 --> 01:31:58,678 (♪ She's tiny, she's shiny She sparkles in the night 1370 01:31:58,804 --> 01:32:03,975 (♪ l love her and l need her To guide me through the night! Word! (♪ 1371 01:32:04,101 --> 01:32:06,394 (Cheering) 1372 01:32:09,941 --> 01:32:16,488 Eventually, Mary and Jo-Jo found an innkeeper what was nicerer. He said... 1373 01:32:16,614 --> 01:32:19,824 You can use my stable. At least it's dry. 1374 01:32:19,951 --> 01:32:22,619 - Yeah, man. Huh! - (Laughter) 1375 01:32:22,745 --> 01:32:27,499 They asked the animals if they could nestle down to pop out the baby Jesus. 1376 01:32:27,625 --> 01:32:29,334 (Whinnying) 1377 01:32:29,460 --> 01:32:34,005 The donkey said nay, but the other animals said it was all right. 1378 01:32:34,131 --> 01:32:37,801 And everyone what was anyone gathered round to witness... 1379 01:32:37,927 --> 01:32:40,011 (Explosions and screaming) 1380 01:32:44,850 --> 01:32:47,811 Buddy, what happened? 1381 01:32:47,937 --> 01:32:51,106 Well, l put that plug in and it all exploded. 1382 01:32:51,232 --> 01:32:55,860 Don't worry, l'll take care of it. You've got to get on stage. Headphones off. 1383 01:32:55,987 --> 01:32:59,781 Shh, l'm going to give you all a candle. We've got these candles here. 1384 01:32:59,907 --> 01:33:03,660 As soon as you've got one, just make your way out onto the stage, OK? 1385 01:33:03,786 --> 01:33:07,581 Everyone, this is Jennifer, who you all heard about, from Hollywood. 1386 01:33:07,707 --> 01:33:09,666 - Hello. Hi. - Give out the candle. 1387 01:33:44,702 --> 01:33:49,873 (♪ Sometimes life is not all it can be 1388 01:33:49,999 --> 01:33:53,460 (♪ And here we are 1389 01:33:56,047 --> 01:34:01,551 (♪ Wondering just how far This road can lead 1390 01:34:01,677 --> 01:34:05,138 (♪ And here we are 1391 01:34:08,142 --> 01:34:14,731 (♪ Then from the darkness Shines a bright burning star 1392 01:34:14,857 --> 01:34:20,195 (♪ And who we are ls changing within our hearts 1393 01:34:22,365 --> 01:34:25,033 - (♪ One night - (♪ One night 1394 01:34:25,159 --> 01:34:29,746 (♪ One moment And everything's changed 1395 01:34:29,872 --> 01:34:38,463 (♪ One night, one moment 1396 01:34:38,589 --> 01:34:41,549 (♪ And everything's changed 1397 01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:44,803 (♪ One night, one moment 1398 01:34:46,389 --> 01:34:51,142 (♪ Tonight is so pure and so special 1399 01:34:52,186 --> 01:34:57,649 (♪ We'll never feel lonely again 1400 01:34:57,775 --> 01:35:03,488 (♪ Cos we are all standing together 1401 01:35:03,614 --> 01:35:07,409 (♪ As friends 1402 01:35:07,535 --> 01:35:10,078 (♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh 1403 01:35:10,204 --> 01:35:15,834 (♪ And everything's changing forever 1404 01:35:15,960 --> 01:35:20,213 (♪ One night, one moment... 1405 01:35:27,388 --> 01:35:30,306 (Laughter and applause) 1406 01:35:34,645 --> 01:35:36,438 Yes! 1407 01:35:38,649 --> 01:35:41,526 Come on, everybody! Clap your hands! 1408 01:35:43,195 --> 01:35:47,407 We're gonna tear the roof off this place! Let's rock and roll! 1409 01:35:47,533 --> 01:35:49,492 Bob! Bob! 1410 01:35:49,618 --> 01:35:52,996 - Wig out! Yeah! - (Cheering) 1411 01:35:55,875 --> 01:35:58,126 Alice, best back flips ever! 1412 01:35:58,252 --> 01:35:59,919 (Cheering) 1413 01:36:01,964 --> 01:36:04,048 Oli! 1414 01:36:11,307 --> 01:36:13,850 Edward, best fluffercuff! 1415 01:36:13,976 --> 01:36:18,354 - (Squelching) - TJ, throw some shapes! 1416 01:36:18,481 --> 01:36:20,690 (Cheering) 1417 01:36:23,944 --> 01:36:27,614 - Best burp ever! - (Burps) 1418 01:36:29,158 --> 01:36:31,367 We've got a special guest from Oakmoor! 1419 01:36:31,494 --> 01:36:34,496 Thomas, joined by Becky. Boogie! 1420 01:36:37,166 --> 01:36:39,334 Rock and roll! 1421 01:36:43,172 --> 01:36:44,923 Yeah! 1422 01:36:45,049 --> 01:36:47,717 Mr Maddens, come up! 1423 01:36:47,843 --> 01:36:50,053 Come on! 1424 01:36:51,305 --> 01:36:54,307 Bring Jennifer with you, come on! 1425 01:37:04,568 --> 01:37:06,945 (Cheering) 1426 01:37:10,115 --> 01:37:13,326 Miss Rye! l love you! 1427 01:37:15,287 --> 01:37:18,039 Critic man, come up and boogie! 1428 01:37:18,165 --> 01:37:22,168 lt doesn't matter how many stars you give it! 1429 01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:35,640 Gordon, come up. 1430 01:37:35,766 --> 01:37:39,102 - No, Gordon! Gordon! - (Cheering) 1431 01:37:41,564 --> 01:37:44,399 (Cheering) 1432 01:37:52,783 --> 01:37:55,368 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1433 01:37:55,494 --> 01:37:57,745 (♪ Planets gather round 1434 01:37:57,872 --> 01:38:00,623 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1435 01:38:00,749 --> 01:38:03,251 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound 1436 01:38:03,377 --> 01:38:05,962 (♪ Here's something you won't believe 1437 01:38:06,088 --> 01:38:08,006 (♪ lt's the first time ever, Christmas 1438 01:38:08,132 --> 01:38:11,134 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1439 01:38:11,260 --> 01:38:13,636 (♪ Planets gather round 1440 01:38:13,762 --> 01:38:16,389 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1441 01:38:16,515 --> 01:38:19,058 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound 1442 01:38:19,184 --> 01:38:21,686 (♪ Here's something you won't believe 1443 01:38:21,812 --> 01:38:28,026 (♪ lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve (♪ 1444 01:38:28,152 --> 01:38:32,530 'And from that night me and Jennifer fell in love with each other and Christmas 1445 01:38:32,656 --> 01:38:34,949 'all over again. 1446 01:38:35,075 --> 01:38:39,913 'And as for our nativities, they just kept getting better. 1447 01:38:41,332 --> 01:38:45,501 Don't mind being a shepherd or a stage manager. 1448 01:38:45,628 --> 01:38:49,505 (♪ Sometimes life is not all it can be... 1449 01:38:49,632 --> 01:38:54,802 l always wanted to be Mary in the whole of my life. 1450 01:38:54,929 --> 01:38:57,013 l would like to be Angel Gabriel. 1451 01:38:57,139 --> 01:38:59,015 Ah-ah-ah-ah... 1452 01:38:59,141 --> 01:39:01,476 (♪ And just how far this road can lead... 1453 01:39:01,602 --> 01:39:03,519 l wouldn't mind being a donkey. 1454 01:39:03,646 --> 01:39:05,313 (Squelching) 1455 01:39:05,439 --> 01:39:07,565 Actually, l'd quite like to be the star. 1456 01:39:07,691 --> 01:39:09,692 - (Burps) - Bah, humbug! 1457 01:39:09,818 --> 01:39:15,073 (♪ Then from the darkness Shines a bright burning star 1458 01:39:15,199 --> 01:39:19,077 (♪ And who we are ls changing within our hearts... 1459 01:39:19,203 --> 01:39:23,247 You might not like this but you might do. lt's dancing. 1460 01:39:23,374 --> 01:39:26,459 - (♪ One night - (♪ One night 1461 01:39:26,585 --> 01:39:28,044 (♪ One moment 1462 01:39:28,170 --> 01:39:30,546 (♪ And everything's changed 1463 01:39:30,673 --> 01:39:39,430 (♪ One night, one moment 1464 01:39:39,556 --> 01:39:42,600 (♪ And everything's changed 1465 01:39:42,726 --> 01:39:47,146 (♪ One night, one moment 1466 01:39:47,272 --> 01:39:52,402 (♪ Tonight is so pure and so special 1467 01:39:53,487 --> 01:39:59,242 (♪ You'll never feel lonely again 1468 01:39:59,368 --> 01:40:04,288 (♪ Cos we are all standing together 1469 01:40:04,415 --> 01:40:08,167 (♪ As friends 1470 01:40:08,293 --> 01:40:10,753 (♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh 1471 01:40:10,879 --> 01:40:17,218 (♪ And everything's changing forever 1472 01:40:17,344 --> 01:40:21,347 (♪ One night 1473 01:40:21,473 --> 01:40:30,398 (♪ One moment (♪ 1474 01:40:30,524 --> 01:40:32,692 (Paul) Why do you want to play an innkeeper? 1475 01:40:32,818 --> 01:40:35,862 Because l love to, because he swears all day. 1476 01:40:38,282 --> 01:40:41,075 ((♪ Silent Night) 1477 01:40:45,748 --> 01:40:50,001 (♪ Silent night 1478 01:40:50,127 --> 01:40:53,963 (♪ Holy night 1479 01:40:54,089 --> 01:40:57,967 (♪ All is calm 1480 01:40:58,093 --> 01:41:02,013 (♪ All is bright 1481 01:41:02,139 --> 01:41:09,812 (♪ Round young Virgin Mother and Child 1482 01:41:09,938 --> 01:41:17,779 (♪ Holy lnfant so tender and mild 1483 01:41:17,905 --> 01:41:33,086 (♪ Sleep in heavenly peace 1484 01:41:37,591 --> 01:41:41,344 (♪ Silent night 1485 01:41:41,470 --> 01:41:45,014 (♪ Holy night 1486 01:41:45,140 --> 01:41:52,980 (♪ Shepherds quake at the sight 1487 01:41:53,107 --> 01:42:00,822 (♪ Glories stream from heaven afar 1488 01:42:00,948 --> 01:42:09,330 (♪ Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia 1489 01:42:09,456 --> 01:42:16,879 (♪ Christ the Saviour is born 1490 01:42:17,005 --> 01:42:23,594 (♪ Christ the Saviour is born... 1491 01:42:28,892 --> 01:42:32,728 - (♪ Silent night - (♪ Silent night 1492 01:42:32,855 --> 01:42:36,566 - (♪ Holy night - (♪ Holy night 1493 01:42:36,692 --> 01:42:40,570 (♪ Son of God 1494 01:42:40,696 --> 01:42:44,365 (♪ Love's pure light 1495 01:42:44,491 --> 01:42:52,540 (♪ Radiant beams from thy holy face 1496 01:42:52,666 --> 01:43:00,298 (♪ With the dawn of redeeming grace 1497 01:43:00,424 --> 01:43:22,069 (♪ Jesus Lord at thy birth 1498 01:43:24,323 --> 01:43:28,201 (♪ Jesus Lord 1499 01:43:28,327 --> 01:43:33,497 (♪ At thy 1500 01:43:33,624 --> 01:43:42,632 (♪ Birth (♪ 1501 01:43:43,091 --> 01:43:45,468 Get in there, baby. Get in. 1502 01:43:52,267 --> 01:43:58,147 (♪ Ooh, ooh 1503 01:43:58,273 --> 01:44:01,525 ♪ Ah 1504 01:44:01,652 --> 01:44:04,737 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh... 1505 01:44:04,863 --> 01:44:07,240 OK, everybody, clap your hands. 1506 01:44:07,366 --> 01:44:10,326 l'm a superstar and l'm coming out tonight. 1507 01:44:10,452 --> 01:44:15,957 (♪ l've had a little makeover And l'm all dressed up tonight 1508 01:44:16,083 --> 01:44:21,963 (♪ A cheeky drink, a naughty wink We'll loosen up all right 1509 01:44:22,089 --> 01:44:28,261 (♪ Stand back and put your shades on Cos l'm about to shine 1510 01:44:28,387 --> 01:44:34,350 (♪ My blinding light will thrill you Cos there's no starlight like mine 1511 01:44:34,476 --> 01:44:37,395 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh 1512 01:44:37,521 --> 01:44:40,606 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1513 01:44:40,732 --> 01:44:43,651 (♪ Planets gather round 1514 01:44:43,777 --> 01:44:46,570 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1515 01:44:46,697 --> 01:44:49,740 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound 1516 01:44:49,866 --> 01:44:52,702 (♪ Here's something you won't believe 1517 01:44:52,828 --> 01:44:57,915 (♪ lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve 1518 01:45:01,795 --> 01:45:07,758 (♪ l got my light within me And it's coming out for you 1519 01:45:07,884 --> 01:45:13,889 (♪ l'm dizzy with self-confidence Hope you can feel it too 1520 01:45:14,016 --> 01:45:19,603 - (♪ l'm lighting up the skies tonight - (♪ So come on, join the party 1521 01:45:19,730 --> 01:45:25,943 - (♪ Let's make the moment last all night - (♪ And keep the skies all starry 1522 01:45:26,069 --> 01:45:32,199 (♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh 1523 01:45:32,326 --> 01:45:35,244 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1524 01:45:35,370 --> 01:45:38,205 (♪ Planets gather round 1525 01:45:38,332 --> 01:45:40,916 (♪ Sparkle and shine 1526 01:45:41,043 --> 01:45:44,295 (♪ Let's all make a dazzling sound 1527 01:45:44,421 --> 01:45:47,340 (♪ Here's something you won't believe 1528 01:45:47,466 --> 01:45:52,720 (♪ lt's the first time ever Christmas Eve (♪