1
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,716
[Bryan Adams:
You've Been a Friend To Me]

2
00:02:21,657 --> 00:02:23,887
[man] This walk is exactly
what you need.

3
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:26,690
You've been coiled up like a spring.
I don't even know who you are anymore.

4
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,959
It's a big meeting, I'd think
you'd be a little nervous.

5
00:02:28,998 --> 00:02:31,933
I don't get nervous, Dan. I get excited.

6
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,870
Please don't tell the story.

7
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,735
You're a people person,
Charlie, that's wonderful,

8
00:02:36,772 --> 00:02:39,502
but in business meetings you tell
personal items from my life,

9
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:42,409
- and it embarrasses me.
- Girls, girls, girls!

10
00:02:42,444 --> 00:02:46,175
- [dog grunts]
- Hey! 10 miles! [laughs]

11
00:02:46,215 --> 00:02:48,945
- [groans]
- I'm sorry, Lucky.

12
00:02:48,984 --> 00:02:51,851
I think he's too old for sprints.
I can hear his legs clicking.

13
00:02:51,887 --> 00:02:53,377
Those are my knees.

14
00:02:53,422 --> 00:02:56,152
Do you really think I tell
that story for my own amusement?

15
00:02:56,191 --> 00:02:58,250
I do it because it's a sales tool.

16
00:02:58,294 --> 00:03:00,285
Charlie, let's win this account
on our pitch.

17
00:03:00,329 --> 00:03:02,160
It's sports marketing.
You need an edge.

18
00:03:02,197 --> 00:03:05,826
- I don't want to be the edge.
- Hey, mister! Little help!

19
00:03:05,868 --> 00:03:07,495
Sure thing, guys!

20
00:03:08,837 --> 00:03:10,634
- [boy grunts]
- [Charlie] Whoa!

21
00:03:10,673 --> 00:03:12,937
- [boy] Ow!
- Oh! Oh! Oh!

22
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:15,967
- Why did you do that?
- My bad! Sorry!

23
00:03:16,011 --> 00:03:18,809
- I didn't mean to.
- You're a monster!

24
00:03:18,847 --> 00:03:20,508
[Dan] I'm sorry!

25
00:03:20,549 --> 00:03:22,312
You're allergic to anything
under 4 feet. You're a mess.

26
00:03:22,351 --> 00:03:25,320
- Promise you won't tell the story.
- Fine. I won't tell the story.

27
00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:28,990
[Charlie] OK, you guys want to hear
the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever?

28
00:03:29,024 --> 00:03:31,117
- [Dan] No, don't.
- Please. Come on, Danny.

29
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,129
All right. 7 years ago,
Dan's divorce had just come through

30
00:03:34,163 --> 00:03:36,393
and his ex-wife had
left his heart in tatters.

31
00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:39,162
And his bank account drained.
Tell them that.

32
00:03:39,201 --> 00:03:41,795
- [speaking Japanese]
- He was taking it pretty well.

33
00:03:41,837 --> 00:03:44,362
That's good.
You're taking it like a man!

34
00:03:44,406 --> 00:03:47,102
Stiff upper lip! Getting smart!

35
00:03:48,177 --> 00:03:50,577
- What?
- Oh, God!

36
00:03:50,613 --> 00:03:52,774
[Charlie] People say I saved
my partner's life that day.

37
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,407
[wailing]

38
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:56,680
- So many people get divorced.
- [whines]

39
00:03:56,719 --> 00:03:59,984
And neither one of you wanted kids.
Now that seems like a stroke of genius!

40
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:03,321
But that didn't console him.
I had to act. I had to do something.

41
00:04:03,359 --> 00:04:06,817
Mr. Good Time is going to
teach you how to live! Yeah!

42
00:04:06,862 --> 00:04:10,457
- Why are there 2 pieces of luggage?
- Oh, just a little jaunt.

43
00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:13,962
- Nothing too wild.
- [Dan screams]

44
00:04:15,437 --> 00:04:19,100
Hey, Mr. Good Times.
You said we'd come to Miami, we did.

45
00:04:19,141 --> 00:04:20,199
Can we go home now?

46
00:04:20,242 --> 00:04:22,073
- [siren sounds]
- Whoa!

47
00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:23,578
- Whoa.
- Yeah!

48
00:04:23,612 --> 00:04:25,204
Does this drink
come with a diving board?

49
00:04:25,247 --> 00:04:27,511
It's insane! Just a sip, I think.

50
00:04:27,549 --> 00:04:30,177
So as a best friend, I felt compelled

51
00:04:30,219 --> 00:04:32,881
to give him a gentle reminder
of what it was like to be free.

52
00:04:33,622 --> 00:04:36,284
- I want it to say: "free man!"
- [slurring] Free man.

53
00:04:36,325 --> 00:04:37,724
Big letters, right across his chest.

54
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,728
"Free man!" Comprende?

55
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:43,892
- [exclaims in foreign language]
- Oh. Good night, nurse.

56
00:04:43,932 --> 00:04:45,900
- [Dan screaming]
- [crowd cheering]

57
00:04:45,934 --> 00:04:47,731
[Charlie] I could have sworn
that guy spoke English.

58
00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:51,103
- It was supposed to say "free man."
- [screaming]

59
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:53,506
[crowd chanting]
Fremont, Fremont, Fremont...

60
00:04:54,643 --> 00:04:56,008
Free man!

61
00:04:58,347 --> 00:04:59,746
[screaming]

62
00:04:59,782 --> 00:05:03,843
[chuckling] It's funny, guys.
Come on. They love it.

63
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,312
Then the unexpected happened.

64
00:05:06,355 --> 00:05:09,791
Look at all the babes.
Don't look, don't look. Now look.

65
00:05:09,825 --> 00:05:11,952
[Charlie] 14 hours after
signing his divorce papers,

66
00:05:11,994 --> 00:05:14,656
Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams.

67
00:05:14,697 --> 00:05:16,392
- Whoa!
- Whoa.

68
00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:17,899
[Charlie] Girl in white, 11 o'clock.

69
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:20,424
- Yeah, but...
- Oh, give her the Queen's wave.

70
00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:22,903
- No, the other Queen.
- Oh. Hello.

71
00:05:22,938 --> 00:05:24,599
[Charlie] She was traveling
with a friend.

72
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,404
I thought maybe the friend
was a magician or a jazz dancer,

73
00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:29,001
because of the way
she was moving her hands.

74
00:05:29,044 --> 00:05:30,909
T urns out she's a hand model.

75
00:05:30,946 --> 00:05:33,244
- [speaks Japanese]...hand model.
- A hand model?

76
00:05:33,282 --> 00:05:34,681
They model with their hands.

77
00:05:36,151 --> 00:05:38,278
[Charlie] So, within minutes,
Dan is back to his old self.

78
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,756
No, scratch that.
He's better than his old self.

79
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,257
Charlie, look at these pictures!

80
00:05:43,292 --> 00:05:46,022
My whole life I've never taken
a good picture.

81
00:05:46,061 --> 00:05:48,996
<i>[Dan and Vicki] * No matter how
they toss the dice, it had to be</i>

82
00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:50,430
[Charlie] I'd never seen him
so free, OK?

83
00:05:50,466 --> 00:05:52,764
I mean, so impulsive.
He was a changed man.

84
00:05:52,801 --> 00:05:55,031
- [cracking]
- [grunting]

85
00:05:55,070 --> 00:05:57,265
[Charlie] Or maybe not so changed.

86
00:05:57,306 --> 00:06:00,275
It's hard to explain to a guy
who's never had an impulsive moment

87
00:06:00,309 --> 00:06:02,777
in his life there's
2 kinds of impulsives.

88
00:06:02,811 --> 00:06:05,746
The good kind, OK,
but this is plain stupid!

89
00:06:07,249 --> 00:06:08,978
That was so romantic.

90
00:06:12,087 --> 00:06:16,683
But when he woke up, he remembered,
"I was just married 14 painful years

91
00:06:16,725 --> 00:06:18,716
- and I've gone and done it again!"
- Whoops.

92
00:06:18,761 --> 00:06:23,858
[Charlie] To a woman that
he barely knows. His "soul mate."

93
00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:25,298
[speaking Japanese]

94
00:06:25,334 --> 00:06:28,132
-...soul mate.
- [all] Soul mate!

95
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,603
[men laughing]

96
00:06:30,539 --> 00:06:31,767
Soul mate!

97
00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,144
They never laugh this much.

98
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:44,009
So, a few hours later,
my buddy here, my hombre,

99
00:06:44,052 --> 00:06:47,886
is the only guy I know that's been
divorced twice in a 24-hour period.

100
00:06:47,923 --> 00:06:52,417
- Now, that's a true story.
- [speaking Japanese]

101
00:06:52,461 --> 00:06:56,124
[all chanting]
Fremont! Fremont! Fremont!

102
00:06:59,568 --> 00:07:03,527
- It was supposed to say "free man."
- But it didn't. It said "Fremont."

103
00:07:03,572 --> 00:07:06,097
It's a big mistake.
It's on his chest forever.

104
00:07:06,141 --> 00:07:11,670
I don't really think that story
honors the feelings I had for her.

105
00:07:11,713 --> 00:07:14,511
No, I'm sorry.
Dan, people love that story.

106
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:18,782
So just get up there and do
your thing. Because I killed.

107
00:07:18,821 --> 00:07:19,947
Banzai!

108
00:07:19,988 --> 00:07:22,252
- [shouting]
- Ixnay on the banzai.

109
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,088
- [Charlie groans]
- [Dan] Nishamura Media Group

110
00:07:24,126 --> 00:07:27,220
entering the US sports market
is a huge deal.

111
00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:29,924
Now, I know you've met
with larger groups,

112
00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:34,595
but I'm about to show you
why working with a boutique firm

113
00:07:34,636 --> 00:07:38,595
run by 2 seasoned pros
is a smart move for you.

114
00:07:39,274 --> 00:07:40,298
[men cheering]

115
00:07:40,342 --> 00:07:42,833
47 million dollars over 5 years.

116
00:07:42,878 --> 00:07:45,369
Man, you better shape up
on your Japanese,

117
00:07:45,414 --> 00:07:46,904
'cause you're going to Tokyo, baby!

118
00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:49,577
Thank you. This is the kind of
opportunity I've been looking for.

119
00:07:49,618 --> 00:07:53,145
And you will not be sorry.
In college my nickname was "GT '."

120
00:07:53,188 --> 00:07:57,056
- That's "Go To." You go to me.
- What's the matter with you?

121
00:07:57,092 --> 00:07:59,822
Biggest deal of our lives
isn't exciting enough for you?

122
00:07:59,862 --> 00:08:02,922
So it's a done deal now?
There are a few small details.

123
00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:04,592
Like next week when Nishamura
and his son come to town

124
00:08:04,633 --> 00:08:06,100
we have to win them over
on the golf course.

125
00:08:06,134 --> 00:08:07,601
- That'll be easy.
- I'm great at golf.

126
00:08:07,636 --> 00:08:09,866
Then, 2 weeks from now,
we have to make a presentation

127
00:08:09,905 --> 00:08:12,066
- to their executive board of directors.
- Done.

128
00:08:12,107 --> 00:08:14,200
All right, sunshine.
What's really wrong with you?

129
00:08:15,611 --> 00:08:17,772
- I was not divorced twice, OK?
- [chuckling]

130
00:08:17,813 --> 00:08:19,576
One of them was an annulment.

131
00:08:19,615 --> 00:08:22,175
- Look at that face!
- Charlie, don't!

132
00:08:22,217 --> 00:08:24,082
Look at this, Craig.
You know what this face is?

133
00:08:24,119 --> 00:08:26,110
- The face of a winner.
- This face is willing to hibernate

134
00:08:26,154 --> 00:08:29,021
for 6 months to make the
best deal he could possibly make.

135
00:08:29,057 --> 00:08:32,686
And I don't care who knows it. A toast
to my best buddy and business partner,

136
00:08:32,728 --> 00:08:34,525
- Dan Rayburn! Whoo!
- Whoo!

137
00:08:34,563 --> 00:08:36,463
- Arigato!
- [all cheering]

138
00:08:43,672 --> 00:08:44,934
It all comes down to this.

139
00:08:44,973 --> 00:08:46,440
- I don't think so.
- 3, 2, 1.

140
00:08:46,475 --> 00:08:48,067
This one's the shooter.

141
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,372
- [Charlie] Let's see it.
- [Craig] Golden moment.

142
00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:52,444
- Oh. Uh-oh!
- Oh, you're just sinkin' em.

143
00:08:52,481 --> 00:08:54,278
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh.

144
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,375
[Charlie]
Let's hit it. There you go.

145
00:08:56,418 --> 00:08:57,885
- [Craig] It's a leaking dog.
- Yeah.

146
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,686
That's a... That's a neat trick.
How old is that dog?

147
00:09:01,723 --> 00:09:04,214
I lost count. Vet said it was a record.

148
00:09:04,259 --> 00:09:06,989
You might want to put
a diaper on him, or underwear.

149
00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,053
[dog growls]

150
00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:10,894
- Yo.
- Hey. Where you been?

151
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:13,458
Japanese real estate agents.
Some apartments for Craig-san.

152
00:09:13,502 --> 00:09:15,527
Thank you. I just want to find
something authentic.

153
00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:17,629
I've been getting so immersed
in Japanese culture,

154
00:09:17,673 --> 00:09:20,141
by the time I hit Tokyo, they're
going to think I'm part Japanese.

155
00:09:20,175 --> 00:09:22,336
They'll be like, "Who is this local?"

156
00:09:22,377 --> 00:09:26,040
I don't care if you stay on the top
of Mount Fuji. Just bring home the yen.

157
00:09:26,081 --> 00:09:28,777
- This can't be.
- What do you got?

158
00:09:29,818 --> 00:09:31,513
- Vicki.
- Vicki who?

159
00:09:31,553 --> 00:09:33,748
South Beach Vicki? She's in town.

160
00:09:33,789 --> 00:09:37,748
- She wants to see me. Today.
- She just called you out of the blue?

161
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:40,692
- No.
- Dan? Dan?

162
00:09:40,729 --> 00:09:43,527
You know last Christmas
when I moved in to the condo?

163
00:09:43,565 --> 00:09:46,056
I was feeling really lonely.

164
00:09:46,101 --> 00:09:48,433
And maybe I wrote a 7-to-10-page
single-spaced letter.

165
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:50,700
- Oh, Dan.
- [groans]

166
00:09:50,739 --> 00:09:52,764
You've been using your feelings
for this woman

167
00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:54,275
to avoid your life for 7 years.

168
00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:58,405
I set you up in the most exclusive
adult-only condo.

169
00:09:58,447 --> 00:09:59,914
You've never been to theme nights.

170
00:09:59,948 --> 00:10:02,917
You never once went to the
Sunday morning schmooze and schmeer.

171
00:10:02,951 --> 00:10:05,181
You know, maybe she hasn't
moved on either.

172
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:06,710
- Well, you can't do it.
- Why?

173
00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:08,916
Because we're in the middle
of our biggest deal ever,

174
00:10:08,957 --> 00:10:10,049
and you don't have the time.

175
00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:13,289
She lives in Vermont. It's perfect.
Start of a long-distance relationship.

176
00:10:13,328 --> 00:10:15,626
You get 6 to 9 months
of the spa weekends,

177
00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:18,132
late-night phone calls.
I'd still have my days free to work.

178
00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:19,827
She wants to meet me
at Grand Central Station,

179
00:10:19,868 --> 00:10:21,233
and I don't know what
I'm supposed to wear.

180
00:10:21,269 --> 00:10:23,794
It's not formal, obviously,
it's a train station,

181
00:10:23,839 --> 00:10:26,239
but do I wear a sport coat,
or coat and tie...

182
00:10:26,274 --> 00:10:28,174
You can wear a sports coat,
but you're not going like that.

183
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,643
- [Dan] Why?
- 'Cause you look like an albino.

184
00:10:29,678 --> 00:10:31,145
[groans]

185
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:36,350
This is his first time, so you can see
his complexion is ghost-like.

186
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,717
- What do you think of the El Tropical?
- Perfect beginner's tan.

187
00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:40,415
- Oh, great.
- Yeah. Let's go!

188
00:10:40,455 --> 00:10:41,979
- You all set?
- Oh, yeah.

189
00:10:42,024 --> 00:10:46,927
- I'm ready. Alrighty, let's do this.
- Um... so...

190
00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:50,591
Face forward, press the red button,
spray lasts 10 seconds.

191
00:10:50,632 --> 00:10:54,227
Keep your eyes closed and call me
on the intercom when you're done.

192
00:10:54,269 --> 00:10:55,634
OK.

193
00:10:57,539 --> 00:11:02,067
Eyes closed. She wanted a golden god,
she's going to get one.

194
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:04,135
Whoa, um...

195
00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:06,511
- [doors lock]
- HAL?

196
00:11:06,548 --> 00:11:10,348
I definitely think that the tan line
accentuates the look, don't you?

197
00:11:10,385 --> 00:11:11,943
- Uh-huh. Sexy.
- Mmm.

198
00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:16,219
I'm gonna start now. [whistling]

199
00:11:19,394 --> 00:11:21,555
[machine humming]

200
00:11:22,064 --> 00:11:23,292
Whoa!

201
00:11:23,331 --> 00:11:26,198
[Perez Prado and His Orchestra:
Mambo No. 5]

202
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:29,797
[shrieks]

203
00:11:29,838 --> 00:11:32,204
1... Whoa!

204
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,199
2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

205
00:11:36,244 --> 00:11:40,146
7. 8. 9. OK!

206
00:11:40,182 --> 00:11:41,615
Hello!

207
00:11:42,517 --> 00:11:43,541
[buzzer sounding]

208
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,682
I'm finished!

209
00:11:47,756 --> 00:11:49,280
Be there in a sec.

210
00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:52,122
So, do you, like, really know Shaq?

211
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,219
- Whose numbers are those?
- Oh, my gosh.

212
00:11:58,266 --> 00:12:01,667
- [buzzing]
- We have a problem here!

213
00:12:01,703 --> 00:12:05,969
- Shaq! Yeah, Charlie.
- It's not turning off!

214
00:12:06,007 --> 00:12:08,874
- Tell him your name.
- Shaq? Hi, it's Kelly.

215
00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:10,138
Anybody out there?

216
00:12:10,178 --> 00:12:12,476
Do you remember me?
I went to one of your games.

217
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:13,538
Help!

218
00:12:13,582 --> 00:12:15,812
Yeah. I don't know who
you were playing against, but...

219
00:12:15,851 --> 00:12:18,012
I have an emergency here!

220
00:12:18,053 --> 00:12:20,214
- Help!
- [groans]

221
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,917
Just relax. Be there in a sec.

222
00:12:23,959 --> 00:12:25,426
Help!

223
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:28,190
- A tanning emergency?
- Newbies.

224
00:12:29,731 --> 00:12:31,130
Keep the heat kind of medium...

225
00:12:32,634 --> 00:12:34,124
Throw a little bit of butter, and...

226
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,756
<i>[man on PA] Westbound local
now arriving on track 2.</i>

227
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:58,020
Westbound local now arriving.

228
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:04,255
[speaking foreign language]

229
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:07,559
I'm from Hoboken.

230
00:13:11,239 --> 00:13:12,900
[both speaking foreign language]

231
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:17,039
What am I, the United Nations?
This is crazy.

232
00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:19,239
Look, Mom,
it's an Oompa-Loompa.

233
00:13:19,281 --> 00:13:21,511
I'm an Oompa-Loompa. I can't do this!

234
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,678
- [sighs] Excuse me...
- [Vicki] Dan?

235
00:13:26,454 --> 00:13:27,716
Vicki?

236
00:13:27,756 --> 00:13:30,748
- [laughing] Wow!
- [Dan] Hey!

237
00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:32,760
- I mean, hi!
- Hi.

238
00:13:32,794 --> 00:13:35,661
Look at you! You're so tan.

239
00:13:35,697 --> 00:13:38,063
Yeah. Yeah.

240
00:13:38,099 --> 00:13:41,660
Boca. Volleyball, and...
Look at you. You're hot!

241
00:13:41,703 --> 00:13:43,398
- Thanks, Tan.
- Dan.

242
00:13:43,438 --> 00:13:45,998
- I mean, Dan.
- I'm Tan Dan.

243
00:13:46,041 --> 00:13:47,406
[both laughing]

244
00:13:47,442 --> 00:13:49,410
I got us a table upstairs.

245
00:13:49,444 --> 00:13:50,536
- Let's eat. Yeah.
- Shall we?

246
00:13:56,551 --> 00:13:58,416
- [both] Thank you.
- Oh!

247
00:13:58,453 --> 00:13:59,647
[both chuckling]

248
00:14:02,257 --> 00:14:05,852
I really don't know where to start, Dan.
But...

249
00:14:07,796 --> 00:14:09,320
I need to share it with...

250
00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:12,299
Stop... in the name of love.

251
00:14:14,236 --> 00:14:17,933
Look, 7 years ago,
we made magic happen.

252
00:14:17,973 --> 00:14:20,066
But it was bad timing.

253
00:14:20,108 --> 00:14:24,306
Now, we'll take it super slow,
there'll be no outside distractions.

254
00:14:25,213 --> 00:14:29,013
Just us. I, um...

255
00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:32,850
I'm ready to put these back together.
All I need is your half.

256
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,718
- I'm going to jail.
- What?

257
00:14:34,756 --> 00:14:37,122
Tomorrow. 2 weeks for trespassing.

258
00:14:37,158 --> 00:14:39,592
- Why?
- A chemical company wanted

259
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:42,859
to build a plant that would've
drained into a stream near my house.

260
00:14:42,897 --> 00:14:45,832
So I kind of chained myself
to a bulldozer

261
00:14:45,867 --> 00:14:47,357
and burned the blueprints to the plant.

262
00:14:47,402 --> 00:14:49,302
Look at you.
You're a political activist.

263
00:14:49,337 --> 00:14:52,465
Well, I had ulterior motives.

264
00:14:52,507 --> 00:14:55,442
- You're... Career politician?
- My kids.

265
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,638
Zach and Emily play near that stream.

266
00:14:58,713 --> 00:15:00,305
Kids.

267
00:15:00,348 --> 00:15:03,044
You know, I just never thought that...

268
00:15:03,084 --> 00:15:07,077
You... you'd be attached. But...

269
00:15:07,122 --> 00:15:09,420
- Actually, I'm a single mom.
- [exclaims]

270
00:15:09,991 --> 00:15:11,549
You kidder!

271
00:15:11,593 --> 00:15:13,891
- Twins!
- Ouch!

272
00:15:13,928 --> 00:15:17,796
Yeah. They think I'm going
to a spa named Westford Farms.

273
00:15:17,832 --> 00:15:19,800
- Whoops!
- [both chuckle]

274
00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,699
You remember my best friend,
Jenna, from South Beach.

275
00:15:21,736 --> 00:15:23,499
- Oh, yeah.
- [Vicki] Yeah, the hand model.

276
00:15:23,538 --> 00:15:25,904
They're staying with her.
She's like family.

277
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:29,535
You got so much going on, girl.
It just blows my mind.

278
00:15:29,577 --> 00:15:32,375
That's good, because there's
one other small detail.

279
00:15:32,414 --> 00:15:34,348
- What is it?
- [kids] Daddy!

280
00:15:34,382 --> 00:15:37,112
- [heart beating]
- [salsa music plays]

281
00:15:38,053 --> 00:15:39,611
[explosion sound effects]

282
00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:41,622
You guys weren't supposed
to be back for 45 minutes!

283
00:15:41,656 --> 00:15:43,283
I'm... Da... Da...

284
00:15:43,325 --> 00:15:46,021
Oh! Hey, look who's panicking again.

285
00:15:46,061 --> 00:15:47,221
[laughing]

286
00:15:53,134 --> 00:15:54,863
He does not look good.
I'm calling the paramedics.

287
00:15:54,903 --> 00:15:56,962
No! I'm OK.

288
00:15:58,306 --> 00:15:59,773
[groans]

289
00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:01,901
Guys, would you give us
a minute? Please.

290
00:16:14,022 --> 00:16:19,517
Dan, I got your letter 6 months ago,
and I won't lie, it threw me for a loop.

291
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,961
I was completely ready to go it alone.

292
00:16:22,964 --> 00:16:24,591
But here was this...

293
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:31,096
12-page, single-spaced letter
from the father of my kids,

294
00:16:31,673 --> 00:16:34,699
and suddenly
I had to ask if I was being selfish.

295
00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:38,108
Then 3 weeks ago,
we were in Friday's for dinner,

296
00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,478
and Zach had to go to the bathroom,
and as I was taking him

297
00:16:40,515 --> 00:16:43,143
to the ladies' room
for the umpteenth time...

298
00:16:44,085 --> 00:16:46,679
I realized, he's never
even been in a men's room.

299
00:16:46,721 --> 00:16:50,657
- Really?
- My kids are 7. They have a father.

300
00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:54,457
So I thought, maybe it's time
they got to know who he is.

301
00:16:55,764 --> 00:17:00,895
I have to confess, I've always been
a little awkward around children.

302
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:07,041
But I guess, if they're your own,
it's a different ballgame.

303
00:17:07,075 --> 00:17:11,273
Well, we got a few hours to kill
while Jenna goes out on a hand audition.

304
00:17:11,312 --> 00:17:13,439
- Let's find out.
- OK.

305
00:17:13,481 --> 00:17:19,113
But first, what do you say
we get rid of that ridiculous tan?

306
00:17:19,154 --> 00:17:20,985
I know a few family secrets.

307
00:17:21,022 --> 00:17:23,183
- You don't like it?
- I'm sorry, do you like it?

308
00:17:23,224 --> 00:17:25,351
- Not at all.
- [laughing] OK.

309
00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:29,086
- [Vicki] How's your face feel?
- Oh, pretty much everything.

310
00:17:29,597 --> 00:17:31,827
- Come on, Dad!
- Oh, no.

311
00:17:31,866 --> 00:17:34,391
Not the spinning one.
That's a recipe for disaster.

312
00:17:34,436 --> 00:17:36,961
Hey, Dad? Want to see my
5 Favorite Food lists?

313
00:17:37,005 --> 00:17:38,370
Oh, I'd love to, Z. Thanks.

314
00:17:38,406 --> 00:17:40,874
- Zach likes to make lists.
- I love lists.

315
00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:43,139
- [Dan] Hot wings and milkshakes.
- Chocolate?

316
00:17:43,178 --> 00:17:44,805
Oh, no, it gives me diarrhea.

317
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:49,010
I mean, stomach problems
and frequent gas-spasms.

318
00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:50,915
- Oh.
- I have to go to the bathroom.

319
00:17:50,952 --> 00:17:52,078
Oh, OK.

320
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,815
Hang on. Can you watch Emily?

321
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,289
- Sure.
- I want to go to the men's room.

322
00:17:57,058 --> 00:17:58,116
With me?

323
00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:00,284
OK.

324
00:18:03,731 --> 00:18:06,097
[toilet flushing]

325
00:18:07,902 --> 00:18:11,235
You're pretty old. How come
you don't have any other kids?

326
00:18:11,272 --> 00:18:12,967
Well, um...

327
00:18:14,476 --> 00:18:16,034
Initially, it was kind of a...

328
00:18:16,077 --> 00:18:18,545
You do know where kids
come from, right?

329
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:21,549
- Yeah, sure.
- Can you tell me?

330
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,083
Well, um...

331
00:18:27,121 --> 00:18:32,354
In nature, the male and
the female of the species, uh,

332
00:18:32,393 --> 00:18:37,262
in what some have called the
"dance of springtime," you know...

333
00:18:37,298 --> 00:18:40,893
- [Zach farting]
- It's complicated.

334
00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:46,068
- [Zach farts]
- Do I just stand here?

335
00:18:46,107 --> 00:18:47,972
My mom usually waits outside.

336
00:18:48,009 --> 00:18:50,068
I'll bet she does. I'm out of here.

337
00:18:51,212 --> 00:18:52,406
[horn honks]

338
00:18:56,518 --> 00:18:57,815
OK.

339
00:18:59,087 --> 00:19:01,578
- Ooh! You're early.
- [Vicki] Hi, hon!

340
00:19:01,623 --> 00:19:03,682
I can do my hand cream later. Hi!

341
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,124
- [Zach] Hi, Aunt Jenna!
- [Emily] Hi.

342
00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:08,185
Hi, Zach. Hello, Emily!

343
00:19:09,697 --> 00:19:11,756
- I booked it!
- [Jenna and Vicki scream]

344
00:19:11,799 --> 00:19:15,235
- I gotta go potty.
- All right. Lemonade inside!

345
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,760
- OK, I got them.
- I got the bags.

346
00:19:16,804 --> 00:19:18,704
- No, no, it's all right...
- No, please.

347
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,306
- [screaming]
- Oh!

348
00:19:21,342 --> 00:19:23,606
Oh, no! I got it.

349
00:19:23,645 --> 00:19:25,135
- OK, I got it.
- [car beeps]

350
00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:27,079
- No, wait. No, please don't.
- [screaming continues]

351
00:19:27,115 --> 00:19:29,015
[car alarm blaring]

352
00:19:29,050 --> 00:19:31,348
- [mouthing] Oh, my God.
- [Dan] Breathe! Breathe!

353
00:19:31,386 --> 00:19:32,876
Oh, sorry!

354
00:19:34,455 --> 00:19:35,820
[yells]

355
00:19:36,658 --> 00:19:39,525
- Oh...
- [siren wails]

356
00:19:40,895 --> 00:19:43,455
She's gonna be fine. She's a fighter.

357
00:19:43,498 --> 00:19:46,160
She looks good. You look good, hon.

358
00:19:49,904 --> 00:19:53,169
Can you hand me my cell phone?
I have to call my agent.

359
00:19:54,809 --> 00:19:57,369
All right. Here we go. Here it is, hon.

360
00:19:59,247 --> 00:20:01,875
- Do you want help?
- [groans] No, no.

361
00:20:01,916 --> 00:20:03,713
I'm going to give you a minute. [kisses]

362
00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:07,343
- I'm so sorry.
- [grunting]

363
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:14,858
Oh, God! What am I gonna do?

364
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:18,297
Come on, you're a great gal. You must
have plenty of friends you could call.

365
00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:20,893
That I could trust
with my kids for 2 weeks?

366
00:20:20,935 --> 00:20:24,894
This is a disaster!
I don't have anybody else!

367
00:20:24,939 --> 00:20:28,067
That's not true.
No, no. You have me.

368
00:20:28,109 --> 00:20:31,078
- [sighs]
- I'll do it. I'll take the kids.

369
00:20:31,112 --> 00:20:32,443
[Vicki exhales, laughs]

370
00:20:33,748 --> 00:20:34,772
[Dan] I'll do it.

371
00:20:37,251 --> 00:20:39,185
- I will.
- Really?

372
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,915
Oh, yeah.

373
00:20:40,955 --> 00:20:43,924
- [both laughing]
- Hey, yeah, see?

374
00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:47,587
[sighs] This is good.
This is a good thing.

375
00:20:48,563 --> 00:20:49,860
[Vicki panting]

376
00:20:51,399 --> 00:20:55,028
- Do you know anybody else?
- No, just me.

377
00:20:55,069 --> 00:20:57,833
[Free: All Right Now]

378
00:20:57,872 --> 00:21:01,000
[Charlie] And then suddenly,
you're supposed to take care of twins

379
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,510
when we have the biggest deal ever?
Aw, Dan!

380
00:21:03,544 --> 00:21:07,002
I put their aunt in a halo for a month!
What am I supposed to do?

381
00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:09,107
You're supposed to give them back!
They got 24 hours!

382
00:21:09,150 --> 00:21:11,084
- They'll find another baby-sitter!
- I can't give them back!

383
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,417
They're my kids. It's not like puppies.
"Take them back."

384
00:21:13,454 --> 00:21:15,615
- Let's break it down. It's 2 weeks.
- OK.

385
00:21:15,657 --> 00:21:17,591
- Yeah.
- All right, let's see. We got, uh...

386
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:19,422
They sleep 10, 12 hours, right, a day?

387
00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:21,121
- If you're lucky.
- You've got TV.

388
00:21:21,162 --> 00:21:24,598
You've got bathroom time.
You give them a lot of timeouts.

389
00:21:24,632 --> 00:21:25,656
You know what?

390
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:28,191
You're looking at about 90 minutes
of being a dad a day.

391
00:21:28,236 --> 00:21:29,533
90 minutes?

392
00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:31,401
It's a run-out-the-clock
situation, that's all.

393
00:21:31,439 --> 00:21:32,929
- It's not sudden death.
- You'll be fine.

394
00:21:32,974 --> 00:21:36,205
- Ha! We can do this.
- "We?" [laughs] No, no.

395
00:21:36,244 --> 00:21:39,111
You are on Planet Dan now, baby.

396
00:21:39,147 --> 00:21:41,638
I'm down here on Earth,
just cheering you on.

397
00:21:41,683 --> 00:21:45,585
You started this, remember? You're
the one who took me down to Florida.

398
00:21:45,620 --> 00:21:48,418
"Mr. Feel-good" is gonna
teach me how to live.

399
00:21:48,456 --> 00:21:51,948
I wasn't alone then,
I'm not gonna be alone now, OK?

400
00:21:51,993 --> 00:21:55,793
So, tomorrow morning, 7:30, I want you
outside your apartment ready to go.

401
00:21:55,830 --> 00:21:58,230
Because if I'm going to be
an old dad for 2 weeks,

402
00:21:58,266 --> 00:22:01,030
you're going to be "Uncle Charlie."

403
00:22:02,303 --> 00:22:04,328
Well, I don't want to
take care of the kids!

404
00:22:07,675 --> 00:22:10,769
[Vicki] For both of them, I've packed
enough clothes for every occasion.

405
00:22:10,812 --> 00:22:12,439
- That everything?
- Yeah.

406
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,971
[sighs] I can't believe I'm doing this.

407
00:22:15,016 --> 00:22:16,244
Me, too.

408
00:22:16,284 --> 00:22:18,752
Here's the number for
the poison control center.

409
00:22:18,786 --> 00:22:20,777
- Poison control?
- Do you need a list of poisons?

410
00:22:20,822 --> 00:22:22,687
No, I think most of them I know.

411
00:22:22,724 --> 00:22:25,386
I should have compiled a list
of commonly ingested poisons!

412
00:22:25,426 --> 00:22:27,758
I'm not going to poison our
children. They're in safe hands.

413
00:22:27,795 --> 00:22:29,228
- Have you ever been to a casino?
- [kids] No.

414
00:22:29,263 --> 00:22:31,094
- Have you ever seen the movie Casino?
- No.

415
00:22:31,132 --> 00:22:34,158
OK, there are only pay phones
in the common room,

416
00:22:34,202 --> 00:22:35,829
so I will call you on your cell phone.

417
00:22:35,870 --> 00:22:37,633
- OK.
- And no baby-sitters.

418
00:22:37,672 --> 00:22:40,641
Please, Dan.
They've gone 7 years without a dad.

419
00:22:40,675 --> 00:22:42,609
Promise me you will not
leave them with strangers.

420
00:22:42,643 --> 00:22:45,043
- No strangers. Check.
- [Charlie] Dan! Vicki!

421
00:22:45,079 --> 00:22:48,776
The kids have never seen
Friday the 13th, part 1 or 2!

422
00:22:48,816 --> 00:22:50,807
- Oh, my God!
- He's kidding. He's a kidder.

423
00:22:50,852 --> 00:22:52,877
He was scared of
The Wizard of Oz. He's kidding.

424
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,444
The monkeys got him nuts.

425
00:22:54,489 --> 00:22:57,788
- Oh, and one more thing.
- [chuckling] I'm up for it.

426
00:22:57,825 --> 00:23:01,852
Well, Emily has kind of concocted
this idea that you're a superhero.

427
00:23:01,896 --> 00:23:03,454
Oh. Why?

428
00:23:03,498 --> 00:23:06,729
Well, it was her way of
explaining where you were,

429
00:23:06,768 --> 00:23:08,531
and it seemed harmless enough to me.

430
00:23:08,569 --> 00:23:11,265
- What are my powers?
- You can stop bullets and you can fly.

431
00:23:11,305 --> 00:23:13,933
- Bulletproof and flying.
- 1... 2... 3!

432
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:15,408
- [kids] Ooh!
- [Charlie] Whoa!

433
00:23:15,443 --> 00:23:17,138
- Oh, gosh, I gotta go.
- OK.

434
00:23:18,846 --> 00:23:20,507
I'm going to miss them so much.

435
00:23:21,015 --> 00:23:22,039
OK...

436
00:23:22,817 --> 00:23:24,580
Promise me...

437
00:23:24,619 --> 00:23:28,680
You will devote every ounce of
your being to taking care of them, Dan.

438
00:23:28,723 --> 00:23:30,020
I promise.

439
00:23:30,057 --> 00:23:32,491
- Promise me.
- I promise.

440
00:23:32,527 --> 00:23:34,688
[horns honking]

441
00:23:34,729 --> 00:23:38,256
- So, you're not a superhero?
- Not at the present time.

442
00:23:38,299 --> 00:23:39,323
[honking]

443
00:23:39,367 --> 00:23:42,564
Want to pick up the pace, Chachi?
We just got passed by a street sweeper.

444
00:23:42,603 --> 00:23:44,366
How about putting it in drive, grandma?

445
00:23:44,405 --> 00:23:47,533
There are babies on board!
Excuse me, kids.

446
00:23:56,584 --> 00:23:59,052
Ooh... Who's up for
chocolate chip pancakes?

447
00:23:59,086 --> 00:24:01,646
- [kids] Me! Me!
- No chocolate chips for breakfast.

448
00:24:01,689 --> 00:24:04,249
- Why not?
- Kids crave limits. It's in the books.

449
00:24:04,292 --> 00:24:07,728
Hey everybody, let's kick this off
with some really healthy choices.

450
00:24:07,762 --> 00:24:09,195
How about the heartland granola?

451
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:11,721
That's like nature's broom!
That's kind of wonderful.

452
00:24:11,766 --> 00:24:13,859
Hey! Whoa!

453
00:24:13,901 --> 00:24:16,335
- Sorry.
- It's OK, Zach.

454
00:24:16,370 --> 00:24:18,201
- Here you go.
- It's an accident.

455
00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:20,400
That kind of thing happens.
You have nothing to worry about.

456
00:24:20,441 --> 00:24:22,636
- Hi there. How are you?
- [Dan] Hi.

457
00:24:22,677 --> 00:24:25,305
- [Dan] Good.
- Well, hello. [chuckling]

458
00:24:25,346 --> 00:24:28,042
- What's your name?
- Rochelle.

459
00:24:28,082 --> 00:24:31,074
Oh, Rochelle. [chuckles]

460
00:24:31,118 --> 00:24:34,451
Well, I didn't know they could
afford to hire supermodels here.

461
00:24:35,790 --> 00:24:38,953
Hey, Pops?
Isn't being a grandparent the best?

462
00:24:38,993 --> 00:24:40,790
I'm not a grandparent.

463
00:24:40,828 --> 00:24:44,628
My grandkids call me "Nub-Nub."
What do your grandkids call you?

464
00:24:44,665 --> 00:24:45,791
Nub-Nub's good.

465
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:46,925
<i>[woman over PA]
Attention, Pamela's diners.</i>

466
00:24:46,968 --> 00:24:50,165
<i>We've just been informed we have
2 new members to the grandparents' club.</i>

467
00:24:50,204 --> 00:24:53,640
[fanfare plays]

468
00:24:53,674 --> 00:24:56,837
<i>* Hey! Seniors, seniors, seniors!
Enjoy the grand buffet!</i>

469
00:24:56,878 --> 00:24:59,642
<i>* Seniors, seniors, seniors!
We hope you're here to stay!</i>

470
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,478
<i>* Seniors, seniors, seniors!
We like to make a fuss!</i>

471
00:25:02,516 --> 00:25:06,008
<i>* Seniors, seniors, seniors,
every tenth meal is</i>

472
00:25:06,053 --> 00:25:10,080
<i>* On us!</i>

473
00:25:10,124 --> 00:25:12,558
<i>- * Seniors, seniors, seniors...
- I'll be right back.</i>

474
00:25:13,895 --> 00:25:18,298
Rochelle, Rochelle... I don't know
what happened back there.

475
00:25:18,332 --> 00:25:20,163
Just a little too much
excitement for me.

476
00:25:21,202 --> 00:25:22,829
Oh, no.

477
00:25:22,870 --> 00:25:25,600
Oh, no, no.
This is just an accident.

478
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,938
Don't worry. It's nothing
to be embarrassed about.

479
00:25:27,975 --> 00:25:30,068
- I'm not embarrassed.
- I'll get you something.

480
00:25:31,145 --> 00:25:33,477
It's a glass of water, that's all.

481
00:25:33,514 --> 00:25:35,539
One glass of water
gets my pump going, too.

482
00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:37,744
Uh-huh. Uh...

483
00:25:39,220 --> 00:25:41,620
[Dan] Also, please tell them
we are very focused

484
00:25:41,656 --> 00:25:44,181
on the golf game with Mr. Nishamura.

485
00:25:44,225 --> 00:25:45,715
[speaking Japanese]

486
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,558
Write that on your resume?
"Oh, I pop bubble paper."

487
00:25:48,596 --> 00:25:52,032
- Would you handle them?
- [Zach] We want to Xerox our butts.

488
00:25:52,066 --> 00:25:54,125
Will you excuse me for one moment?

489
00:25:54,168 --> 00:25:56,295
Get off there. I'm sorry, Dan.

490
00:25:56,337 --> 00:25:58,464
- What are you, a frat boy?
- I got your phone.

491
00:25:58,506 --> 00:26:00,906
- Timeout.
- Ah! Timeout.

492
00:26:00,942 --> 00:26:03,240
- Give that back! Yes.
- Keep-away? Are we doing this?

493
00:26:03,277 --> 00:26:05,905
[Zach] Toss it to me, Emily!
Toss it to me!

494
00:26:06,781 --> 00:26:09,909
Your Japanese is so terrific.

495
00:26:09,951 --> 00:26:11,543
- You speak Japanese?
- Well, no.

496
00:26:11,585 --> 00:26:13,849
But I don't have to speak Japanese

497
00:26:13,888 --> 00:26:16,914
to see how beautiful
you are when you speak it.

498
00:26:16,958 --> 00:26:20,086
Don't go out there! Don't go out there!
Come back this way.

499
00:26:20,127 --> 00:26:24,086
- Yeah, I'm their favorite uncle.
- How old are they?

500
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:28,859
- How old do you think they are?
- Um...

501
00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:34,540
- 7?
- 7! Yeah. You're good.

502
00:26:34,575 --> 00:26:36,509
- Fraternal twins?
- Is there any other kind?

503
00:26:36,544 --> 00:26:38,637
[both laughing]

504
00:26:40,147 --> 00:26:42,911
Oh, jeez. When you're around
kids as much as I am,

505
00:26:42,950 --> 00:26:45,282
you got to develop a sense of humor.

506
00:26:45,319 --> 00:26:47,879
- But it's rewarding, too.
- Hmm...

507
00:26:48,656 --> 00:26:50,783
Do you like the beach,
"favorite uncle" Charlie?

508
00:26:50,825 --> 00:26:51,849
Love!

509
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,287
Why don't you come
to Westport on Saturday.

510
00:26:55,329 --> 00:26:57,024
I'm going to meet some friends
at their beach house.

511
00:26:57,064 --> 00:26:58,691
You can even bring
your niece and nephew.

512
00:26:58,733 --> 00:27:02,066
Well, I just may do that,
"beautiful translator" Amanda.

513
00:27:02,103 --> 00:27:03,127
[both laugh]

514
00:27:04,705 --> 00:27:07,037
Go camping,
learn how to ride a 2-wheeler,

515
00:27:07,074 --> 00:27:11,135
my first pro baseball game,
refinish a deck and surfing.

516
00:27:11,178 --> 00:27:12,736
That's my Dad List.

517
00:27:12,780 --> 00:27:16,716
That sounds great.
Pull up your hoods, OK?

518
00:27:16,751 --> 00:27:19,982
- Put these on, all right?
- Why?

519
00:27:20,021 --> 00:27:22,785
Technically, you're not supposed
to be here, let alone living here.

520
00:27:22,823 --> 00:27:24,984
But we're going to have
a lot of fun. Let's go.

521
00:27:26,660 --> 00:27:28,150
[whispers indistinctly]

522
00:27:31,866 --> 00:27:33,128
Dan?

523
00:27:33,167 --> 00:27:35,362
Ooh! Betty. Hide! Go, go!

524
00:27:35,403 --> 00:27:37,428
- Dan, is that you?
- Hey, Betty!

525
00:27:37,471 --> 00:27:41,305
- Hi! You are looking good.
- You, too, baby.

526
00:27:41,342 --> 00:27:44,140
[laughing] What's all that racket?

527
00:27:44,178 --> 00:27:46,544
I don't know. Maybe immigrants.
I'm not sure.

528
00:27:46,580 --> 00:27:47,979
Raccoons, most likely.

529
00:27:48,015 --> 00:27:50,245
No... Oh, my God, I see kids!

530
00:27:50,284 --> 00:27:52,445
- No, these are my...
- I see kids!

531
00:27:52,486 --> 00:27:54,454
- [screaming]
- [shouting]

532
00:27:54,488 --> 00:27:56,080
[siren wails]

533
00:27:56,123 --> 00:27:58,956
Why don't you put them in a hotel?
They would love room service.

534
00:27:58,993 --> 00:28:01,655
[Dan] They'd also love a spa,
but we can't... Don't run! Careful!

535
00:28:01,695 --> 00:28:04,596
- Don't touch that!
- [Dan] Easy. Slow down! No running!

536
00:28:04,632 --> 00:28:06,691
Watch out! A lot of expensive things...

537
00:28:06,734 --> 00:28:08,395
- Are you out of your mind?
- Why?

538
00:28:08,436 --> 00:28:09,494
Come on!

539
00:28:09,537 --> 00:28:11,801
Listen. You're the one
that forced me into that place.

540
00:28:11,839 --> 00:28:15,206
- I cajoled you, I cajoled you.
- Don't give me semantics.

541
00:28:15,242 --> 00:28:16,971
Look, they're going upstairs now!

542
00:28:18,579 --> 00:28:21,514
This is my crib, man!
This is where I get down.

543
00:28:21,549 --> 00:28:25,007
This is where I sink the 3 points.
This is where I throw the TD.

544
00:28:25,052 --> 00:28:27,247
This isn't for kids, man.

545
00:28:27,288 --> 00:28:30,553
Look, that pool out there,
that's got a 15-foot deep end.

546
00:28:30,591 --> 00:28:33,992
Look at this place! I got
pointy-edged furniture. I got...

547
00:28:34,028 --> 00:28:35,962
Those spears probably
still have poison on them.

548
00:28:35,996 --> 00:28:37,793
You don't want them in this house.

549
00:28:37,832 --> 00:28:43,168
I do not lead a child-safe life, man!

550
00:28:43,204 --> 00:28:45,468
It is not... not how I roll. You know?

551
00:28:45,506 --> 00:28:47,371
- Charlie...
- [sighs]

552
00:28:47,408 --> 00:28:49,899
- I'm barely treading water here.
- Aw, don't...

553
00:28:49,944 --> 00:28:52,469
I don't know these kids very long,
but I'm still their dad.

554
00:28:52,513 --> 00:28:56,506
And they need a home. And so do I.

555
00:28:56,550 --> 00:28:58,848
Right now,
you're the closest thing we got.

556
00:29:04,258 --> 00:29:05,919
[sighs]

557
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,019
Thanks, bro. You're the best.

558
00:29:09,697 --> 00:29:12,393
OK. You went emotional and it paid off.

559
00:29:12,433 --> 00:29:14,367
- Good.
- This time.

560
00:29:14,401 --> 00:29:15,732
OK.

561
00:29:15,769 --> 00:29:18,602
[Brett Dennen: Make You Crazy]

562
00:29:18,639 --> 00:29:21,699
Oh, it's Vicki! Kids!

563
00:29:21,742 --> 00:29:24,870
Well, first everybody thought
Dad was our grandpa.

564
00:29:24,912 --> 00:29:28,541
Then he pretty much worked
the rest of the day.

565
00:29:28,582 --> 00:29:31,676
[slowly] "Everything is fine."

566
00:29:31,719 --> 00:29:35,348
And he did say he was going to do
the first thing on Zach's Dad List.

567
00:29:35,389 --> 00:29:38,517
That sounds promising. See?
This is gonna be great.

568
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:39,753
Here's Dad.

569
00:29:41,128 --> 00:29:43,221
Hey, Vic. Didn't she sound wonderful?

570
00:29:43,264 --> 00:29:45,596
- How's everything going?
- I'm OK.

571
00:29:45,633 --> 00:29:47,965
Don't you worry a moment
about how things are going here

572
00:29:48,002 --> 00:29:50,334
because everything's going great.

573
00:29:52,206 --> 00:29:55,733
OK, you guys... lights out.

574
00:29:56,911 --> 00:29:58,310
[Dan] OK.

575
00:29:58,345 --> 00:30:00,905
Alrighty. There you go.

576
00:30:00,948 --> 00:30:03,974
- You have your creature? Good.
- I do.

577
00:30:06,754 --> 00:30:08,654
- You OK?
- Mm-hm.

578
00:30:09,857 --> 00:30:11,119
Good night.

579
00:30:37,117 --> 00:30:39,642
I just shook my daughter's hand
good night.

580
00:30:42,556 --> 00:30:44,285
I'm no good at this, Charlie.

581
00:30:44,325 --> 00:30:47,453
Come on. You're trying.
That's what matters.

582
00:30:47,494 --> 00:30:48,518
Thanks.

583
00:30:54,101 --> 00:30:55,898
They are cute, though.

584
00:30:55,936 --> 00:31:01,135
Yeah. They are when they're
in a... dormant configuration.

585
00:31:09,183 --> 00:31:12,448
- [pounding, drilling]
- [whimpers]

586
00:31:12,486 --> 00:31:14,545
[man] Whoo-wee! Look at this, Nick!

587
00:31:14,588 --> 00:31:16,886
[drill buzzing]

588
00:31:21,996 --> 00:31:25,124
- Ready for the other one?
- Don't get drill happy.

589
00:31:25,165 --> 00:31:26,894
[man] No, no, no. It's all good.

590
00:31:26,934 --> 00:31:28,834
- [drill buzzing]
- Hey!

591
00:31:28,869 --> 00:31:30,837
[tool dropping]

592
00:31:30,871 --> 00:31:33,635
- What are you doing?
- Sir, it's cool.

593
00:31:33,674 --> 00:31:36,643
That's Nick and I'm Gary.
We're the childproofers.

594
00:31:36,677 --> 00:31:39,043
- Really?
- I'm going to need access

595
00:31:39,079 --> 00:31:41,639
to all your personal drawers and stuff.

596
00:31:41,682 --> 00:31:46,210
- Dan! Dan! Did you do this?
- Charlie!

597
00:31:46,253 --> 00:31:47,880
- Oh, yeah.
- Did you bring them in?

598
00:31:47,921 --> 00:31:49,354
- Definitely.
- Why?

599
00:31:49,390 --> 00:31:51,722
You described this house as being
a dangerous place for kids,

600
00:31:51,759 --> 00:31:53,693
so I hired the best
childproofers there are.

601
00:31:53,727 --> 00:31:56,924
The tall guy over there,
he was a civil engineer.

602
00:31:56,964 --> 00:31:59,455
What kind of a civil engineer
would be baby-proofing a house?

603
00:32:02,970 --> 00:32:06,167
Failed one, sir,
I'm a failed civil engineer.

604
00:32:06,206 --> 00:32:10,199
I got a lot of bad road
behind me. Lot of potholes.

605
00:32:10,244 --> 00:32:13,338
That's why I'm going to be extra
vigilant in protecting your children.

606
00:32:13,380 --> 00:32:15,177
They're 7. And they're his kids.

607
00:32:15,215 --> 00:32:17,012
- That's true.
- That's progressive,

608
00:32:17,051 --> 00:32:18,746
- and I'm all for it.
- Oh, come on!

609
00:32:18,786 --> 00:32:22,688
Even I know you do not baby-proof
a house for 7-year-olds.

610
00:32:22,723 --> 00:32:24,884
- Oh!
- What about the 15-foot deep end?

611
00:32:24,925 --> 00:32:27,450
Sir, you got a flamethrower
for a fireplace.

612
00:32:27,494 --> 00:32:29,928
- It's a fashion. It's a style.
- The spears?

613
00:32:29,963 --> 00:32:31,760
What guy buys poison-tipped spears?

614
00:32:31,799 --> 00:32:34,893
A thousand years ago they were poison.
I don't know if they're poison now.

615
00:32:34,935 --> 00:32:36,766
You bought those a thousand years ago?

616
00:32:36,804 --> 00:32:40,069
- Expect me to believe that?
- You designed this house of horrors.

617
00:32:40,107 --> 00:32:43,270
You brought the kids to this house.
Stop it! Don't eat that.

618
00:32:43,310 --> 00:32:44,777
Those are dog treats.

619
00:32:44,812 --> 00:32:48,942
Everything tastes like dog food
after that smoked salmon I just had.

620
00:32:48,982 --> 00:32:50,176
You ate the salmon?

621
00:32:51,752 --> 00:32:55,688
- That was a gift.
- Yes, it was.

622
00:32:58,392 --> 00:33:00,826
- You guys better pack.
- Pack?

623
00:33:00,861 --> 00:33:03,022
- Why are you dressed like that?
- What do we pack for?

624
00:33:03,063 --> 00:33:05,327
Camping.
That's first on my Dad List.

625
00:33:05,366 --> 00:33:08,699
And we're Pioneers, so you
have to find the nearest campground.

626
00:33:08,736 --> 00:33:11,899
We have 50 files of Nishamura
work to do before Saturday.

627
00:33:11,939 --> 00:33:15,102
Guys, camping...
I don't think we can do it.

628
00:33:15,142 --> 00:33:17,474
- [Zach] But you promised!
- [Dan] I know I promised,

629
00:33:17,511 --> 00:33:21,709
but I didn't realize camping involved a
camping trip, and we have to reschedule.

630
00:33:21,749 --> 00:33:24,115
- [Zach] But you promised.
- Sometimes promises

631
00:33:24,151 --> 00:33:27,518
- aren't written in stone.
- [both] But you promised!

632
00:33:47,207 --> 00:33:51,803
[inhaling] We've been a Pioneer family
for 4 generations now.

633
00:33:51,845 --> 00:33:55,941
I practically grew up in these woods
following Grandpa Ted.

634
00:33:55,983 --> 00:33:59,146
Gramps was troop leader 63 years ago,

635
00:33:59,186 --> 00:34:03,213
and was the recipient of the
supreme Pioneer honor.

636
00:34:03,257 --> 00:34:06,055
Interred for eternity...

637
00:34:09,363 --> 00:34:13,265
in a tomb erected with his own hands,

638
00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:16,269
right here on this...
on this very campsite.

639
00:34:18,305 --> 00:34:19,329
[shuddering]

640
00:34:21,442 --> 00:34:23,239
Not in front of the kids.

641
00:34:23,277 --> 00:34:26,769
Hey. Hey. Psst.

642
00:34:26,814 --> 00:34:31,478
Hey! You remind me of that
old dude who stole my girlfriend.

643
00:34:31,518 --> 00:34:34,646
- What?
- [man] I promised myself...

644
00:34:34,688 --> 00:34:36,849
Yeah, you. You! Mr. Wall-of-Hair.

645
00:34:36,890 --> 00:34:39,484
Rick, you're a counselor here.
This is sacred ground.

646
00:34:39,526 --> 00:34:42,154
- Something I got to tell you.
- The Pioneers have meant

647
00:34:42,196 --> 00:34:47,657
the world to the Taylor clan.
That's who I am.

648
00:34:47,701 --> 00:34:51,603
Troop leader. Patriot. TSA supervisor.

649
00:34:51,638 --> 00:34:55,438
And dad. I am Barry Taylor.

650
00:34:55,476 --> 00:34:59,071
- [computer beeping]
- [phone beeping]

651
00:34:59,112 --> 00:35:03,242
Gentlemen, why don't we
put down the electronic devices,

652
00:35:03,283 --> 00:35:05,376
and try to get into it a little bit?

653
00:35:05,419 --> 00:35:11,358
Hmm? After all...
we're here for the kids.

654
00:35:11,391 --> 00:35:13,882
Fine.

655
00:35:13,927 --> 00:35:17,021
- [phone rings]
- [mouthing] Sorry.

656
00:35:22,636 --> 00:35:24,433
Here for the kids?
What's he talking about?

657
00:35:24,471 --> 00:35:26,735
OK, kids. Who wants to have some fun?

658
00:35:26,773 --> 00:35:28,536
- [all cheer]
- Yeah...!

659
00:35:28,575 --> 00:35:31,703
- Let's go dig a hole.
- [all cheer]

660
00:35:31,745 --> 00:35:34,043
- What's your problem?
- How about we go dig a hole.

661
00:35:34,081 --> 00:35:35,810
He's giving me the stink eye.

662
00:35:35,849 --> 00:35:39,717
You thief. I loved her.
I loved her so much.

663
00:35:39,753 --> 00:35:41,721
- What are you saying?
- My beef is not with you, old woman.

664
00:35:41,755 --> 00:35:44,087
- Thank you.
- [growling softly]

665
00:35:44,124 --> 00:35:47,958
- OK, now I got it.
- He has a lot.

666
00:35:47,995 --> 00:35:50,020
[indistinct chattering]

667
00:35:51,832 --> 00:35:55,324
Hey, Zach, Emily.
Why don't you get your grandpa

668
00:35:55,369 --> 00:35:57,132
- to leave the office...
- [giggling]

669
00:35:57,170 --> 00:35:59,138
and come over here
and join us in the woods?

670
00:35:59,172 --> 00:36:01,504
He's not our grandpa, he's our dad.

671
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:11,843
Sure, Zach. My grandpa
was like a dad to me, too.

672
00:36:11,885 --> 00:36:16,151
He is, Troop Master Barry.
He's my dad, and that's his partner.

673
00:36:16,189 --> 00:36:19,022
- It's like we have 2 dads!
- [Dan] Just found out.

674
00:36:19,059 --> 00:36:21,027
Trust me. It was a surprise.

675
00:36:21,528 --> 00:36:23,655
- Been together 30 years.
- Feels like 50.

676
00:36:25,098 --> 00:36:27,726
- [Dan] Oh, well...
- We're soul mates, really.

677
00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:30,669
You must have a best buddy.

678
00:36:30,704 --> 00:36:32,797
[Dan] Yeah. A pal?
Someone you can...

679
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:35,740
- Fine.
- Take care.

680
00:36:35,776 --> 00:36:37,334
- Loner.
- Loner.

681
00:36:37,377 --> 00:36:38,901
- Loser!
- Loser.

682
00:36:40,747 --> 00:36:43,409
- [Charlie] No bears allowed.
- [Zach] Thank you, Troop Master Barry.

683
00:36:43,450 --> 00:36:46,749
- [Emily] Thanks.
- No trouble at all, kids.

684
00:36:46,787 --> 00:36:49,153
You ladies ready to play
a little Ultimate Frisbee?

685
00:36:49,189 --> 00:36:51,987
- I think so, Mr. Testosterone.
- [Charlie] Yeah.

686
00:36:52,025 --> 00:36:54,050
[Dan] Ultimate Frisbee?
That's our game.

687
00:36:54,094 --> 00:36:58,155
- Let's do this for our kids, huh?
- Yeah!

688
00:36:58,198 --> 00:37:01,224
Come on, man. Let's do it.
Yeah, for the kids. Yeah, baby.

689
00:37:01,268 --> 00:37:03,327
All right, let's do this.
Sports marketing!

690
00:37:03,370 --> 00:37:06,237
Sports marketing! Yeah!
Make the deal. Get them!

691
00:37:07,474 --> 00:37:11,433
- That's bear scat, gentlemen.
- Yeah... Yeah, it is.

692
00:37:12,479 --> 00:37:14,071
- [Zach] Dad?
- Yeah?

693
00:37:14,114 --> 00:37:15,706
I think "scat" is poop.

694
00:37:16,717 --> 00:37:18,878
- Really, son?
- [Zach] Yeah.

695
00:37:18,919 --> 00:37:21,888
- You wiped poop on my face?
- Yeah.

696
00:37:22,889 --> 00:37:24,686
Scat happens, man.

697
00:37:25,392 --> 00:37:27,986
[Vangelis: Chariots of Fire]

698
00:37:37,904 --> 00:37:41,567
[all] 1, 2, 3, 4,

699
00:37:41,608 --> 00:37:45,066
5, 6, 7, 8...

700
00:37:53,420 --> 00:37:55,081
[groaning]

701
00:37:55,122 --> 00:37:58,353
- [bones cracking]
- Aah...

702
00:37:58,392 --> 00:38:03,056
- [moaning]
- [bones cracking]

703
00:38:03,096 --> 00:38:05,326
- [whistle blowing]
- [cheering]

704
00:38:06,299 --> 00:38:08,563
[Charlie] Go long!

705
00:38:10,637 --> 00:38:14,266
- [moaning]
- [grunting]

706
00:38:14,307 --> 00:38:18,471
- Yes! Yeah, baby!
- [cheering]

707
00:38:18,512 --> 00:38:20,207
Barry! I'm over here, I'm open!

708
00:38:20,247 --> 00:38:21,271
[grunts]

709
00:38:21,314 --> 00:38:23,714
[moans, grunts]

710
00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:26,082
- Hey!
- I'm open!

711
00:38:29,356 --> 00:38:31,153
- Oh!
- Get...

712
00:38:31,191 --> 00:38:34,820
[moaning]

713
00:38:34,861 --> 00:38:40,822
- Sorry.
- Ow, my gums!

714
00:38:42,536 --> 00:38:44,936
You get your wingman to fight
your battles for you?

715
00:38:44,971 --> 00:38:47,496
- I didn't take your woman.
- I'm a man.

716
00:38:47,541 --> 00:38:50,669
- I don't know your woman!
- First you steal Janice Applebaum.

717
00:38:50,711 --> 00:38:53,271
- You're confused!
- Then you steal my soul.

718
00:38:53,313 --> 00:38:56,749
- What?
- Now it's on, smiley.

719
00:38:56,783 --> 00:38:59,343
Prison rules!

720
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,248
- [mouthing] Prison rules?
- Oh, boy.

721
00:39:03,290 --> 00:39:06,282
[The Hives:
Hate to Say I Told You So]

722
00:39:07,494 --> 00:39:10,588
- Whoo! [grunts]
- [cheering]

723
00:39:10,630 --> 00:39:13,497
- [cackling]
- Come on, Dad. You can get up.

724
00:39:15,435 --> 00:39:17,130
- [grunts]
- Never mind.

725
00:39:19,573 --> 00:39:20,938
Back, back, back, back.

726
00:39:20,974 --> 00:39:22,100
- [grunts]
- Time out.

727
00:39:22,142 --> 00:39:25,043
- [grunting]
- Ah!

728
00:39:25,078 --> 00:39:27,069
- [shouting]
- [sound of plane diving]

729
00:39:27,114 --> 00:39:28,308
[Dan] Get off of me!

730
00:39:28,348 --> 00:39:31,442
- [bellowing]
- [bones crunching]

731
00:39:33,420 --> 00:39:34,580
[gasps]

732
00:39:36,223 --> 00:39:39,283
Stay down, gentle warrior.

733
00:39:39,326 --> 00:39:42,090
- [cheering]
- Ooh...

734
00:39:45,532 --> 00:39:48,092
- Pull.
- [disc whizzing]

735
00:39:48,135 --> 00:39:49,830
[disc shattering]

736
00:39:51,171 --> 00:39:53,662
- Textbook double bull's eye.
- Nice, Barry.

737
00:39:54,841 --> 00:39:59,710
That's how you get yourself a chest
full of merit patches. Anyone else?

738
00:40:00,313 --> 00:40:01,905
Pull!

739
00:40:03,950 --> 00:40:07,351
- Barry...
- I said... pull!

740
00:40:14,961 --> 00:40:18,158
- [gasps]
- [murmuring]

741
00:40:18,198 --> 00:40:19,825
[chuckles] My bad!

742
00:40:19,866 --> 00:40:23,358
- No!
- [indistinct chattering]

743
00:40:24,271 --> 00:40:27,604
- Grandpa Ted!
- We should get our merit patches

744
00:40:27,641 --> 00:40:31,475
- just for being his kids.
- Sorry! How bad is it?

745
00:40:31,511 --> 00:40:33,445
- Bad!
- OK.

746
00:40:44,624 --> 00:40:47,752
As a result of your
little outdoor adventure,

747
00:40:47,794 --> 00:40:51,059
I just want you to know
that my sciatica has flared up,

748
00:40:51,097 --> 00:40:52,530
and I stink like a steakhouse.

749
00:40:52,566 --> 00:40:54,056
- So thanks.
- Oh, you're welcome.

750
00:40:54,100 --> 00:40:55,465
Don't mind the fact that I took

751
00:40:55,502 --> 00:40:57,732
a 3-day camping trip
and shortened it to 9 hours.

752
00:40:57,771 --> 00:41:01,400
- I made fire! Wow!
- Oh, no!

753
00:41:01,875 --> 00:41:04,605
That's not good. Get the car ready.

754
00:41:04,644 --> 00:41:07,977
Little collateral damage,
but we're back on track with the deal.

755
00:41:08,014 --> 00:41:11,040
Now it's all about the golf game.
How's your back?

756
00:41:11,084 --> 00:41:12,949
- Tight.
- Untighten it.

757
00:41:12,986 --> 00:41:16,012
Because Nishamura uses golf
as a metaphor for life.

758
00:41:16,056 --> 00:41:18,957
So if you mess that up,
it's sayonara, Nishamura.

759
00:41:19,826 --> 00:41:23,785
- One of my little magic pills.
- My housekeeper happens to

760
00:41:23,830 --> 00:41:26,697
arrange them in an organized
circular fashion, like so.

761
00:41:26,733 --> 00:41:28,564
- Pardon-moi.
- Yes.

762
00:41:28,602 --> 00:41:31,400
That's amazing.
When did we become our fathers?

763
00:41:31,438 --> 00:41:33,235
Man, I'd like to see Troop Leader Barry

764
00:41:33,273 --> 00:41:35,264
deal with the side effects
of even one of these puppies.

765
00:41:35,308 --> 00:41:37,742
Look at this. For my aging prostate.

766
00:41:37,777 --> 00:41:39,472
- Right.
- Side effects include

767
00:41:39,512 --> 00:41:42,948
swollen tongue, dry mouth
and pus-filled canker sores.

768
00:41:42,983 --> 00:41:45,417
- Come on.
- This is a joint anti-inflammatory.

769
00:41:45,452 --> 00:41:48,683
Maximum dosage may cause bouts
of uncontrollable appetite.

770
00:41:48,722 --> 00:41:50,986
That's not so bad. The munchies.
I could deal with that.

771
00:41:51,024 --> 00:41:52,924
Look at this one. High blood pressure.

772
00:41:52,959 --> 00:41:55,757
"Watch out for sudden loss
of depth perception."

773
00:41:55,795 --> 00:41:58,889
This tiny pill lowers
your bad cholesterol.

774
00:41:58,932 --> 00:42:01,901
But the first time I took it,
partial facial paralysis.

775
00:42:01,935 --> 00:42:04,597
- Come on.
- I froze up like a circus clown.

776
00:42:04,638 --> 00:42:05,832
- I was, like, "Ha."
- [Charlie] You're kidding.

777
00:42:05,872 --> 00:42:07,271
Yeah, like... [mutters]

778
00:42:08,308 --> 00:42:11,141
- Threw my back out.
- Man...

779
00:42:13,079 --> 00:42:15,673
- How much longer we got?
- 1 week, 4 days, 9 hours.

780
00:42:15,715 --> 00:42:19,811
- Mmm... Good Lord.
- God help us all.

781
00:42:21,721 --> 00:42:24,349
Hey, Dad, I'm in
desperate need of a King Fontana.

782
00:42:24,391 --> 00:42:26,256
- You want to play?
- My doctor says that

783
00:42:26,293 --> 00:42:28,784
I can't get down on the floor,
even crouch, on a golf day.

784
00:42:28,828 --> 00:42:31,661
It seems I have a genetic
predisposition to knee problems.

785
00:42:31,698 --> 00:42:34,724
That means you have it, too.
So you have to be very careful.

786
00:42:34,768 --> 00:42:36,326
Nick, I told you not to use epoxy.

787
00:42:36,369 --> 00:42:38,860
It's going to leave a
permanent stain and an odor.

788
00:42:38,905 --> 00:42:42,033
Why can't you ever
tell me I did a good job?

789
00:42:42,075 --> 00:42:44,043
All right, maestro, how do I do this?

790
00:42:44,077 --> 00:42:48,741
Um, OK... You want to go
quarter turn clockwise,

791
00:42:48,782 --> 00:42:52,240
grab the lever, then use the
counter lever to spin 180 degrees...

792
00:42:52,285 --> 00:42:54,583
[Emily] Why are you
charging that in here?

793
00:42:54,621 --> 00:42:58,489
I keep getting in Dad's way.
He can't do any business in here, right?

794
00:42:58,525 --> 00:43:01,085
Release like that, and voil�.

795
00:43:04,197 --> 00:43:06,427
[Emily] Check if they
have kids' toothpaste.

796
00:43:06,466 --> 00:43:08,764
That old people stuff burns my...

797
00:43:11,705 --> 00:43:15,641
- Should we tell?
- I think I remember where they go.

798
00:43:16,609 --> 00:43:18,577
[Zach] We'll put this one in...

799
00:43:18,611 --> 00:43:21,705
- [Emily] This one in here.
- [Zach] Put them in here.

800
00:43:21,748 --> 00:43:24,740
[The Clash: Police On My Back]

801
00:43:29,823 --> 00:43:31,222
[grunting]

802
00:43:35,428 --> 00:43:37,589
Ooh... Mmm.

803
00:43:41,034 --> 00:43:42,058
[grunting]

804
00:43:56,383 --> 00:43:57,975
What am I doing? They're guys.

805
00:43:58,651 --> 00:44:00,619
[whimpers]

806
00:44:03,957 --> 00:44:07,393
OK, guys, let's go!
Are you guys still hungry?

807
00:44:07,427 --> 00:44:09,418
- We just ate.
- So did you.

808
00:44:09,462 --> 00:44:11,157
I know, but I'm starved.

809
00:44:24,277 --> 00:44:26,108
That's weird. Hmm.

810
00:44:26,679 --> 00:44:28,943
Do you have candy bars on you?
Don't lie to me.

811
00:44:28,982 --> 00:44:30,813
- What's wrong with him?
- I don't know.

812
00:44:30,850 --> 00:44:33,341
- Hey!
- Hey! You made it.

813
00:44:33,386 --> 00:44:35,911
- We made it. Yeah.
- Can we go play?

814
00:44:35,955 --> 00:44:38,480
Go ahead. There's games
over there. Check it out.

815
00:44:39,225 --> 00:44:40,817
Catch you later.

816
00:44:45,598 --> 00:44:49,193
- Oh!
- Wow. You got a lot of friends.

817
00:44:49,235 --> 00:44:51,635
Oh, well, they're not
actually all my friends.

818
00:44:51,671 --> 00:44:53,536
It's a bereavement group I belong to.

819
00:44:53,573 --> 00:44:55,063
- Bereavement?
- Yeah.

820
00:44:55,108 --> 00:44:57,133
My grandma passed away 6 months ago.

821
00:44:57,177 --> 00:44:59,577
- I'm sorry.
- Everyone here is dealing with loss.

822
00:44:59,612 --> 00:45:01,580
And then on the weekends
we have a potluck.

823
00:45:02,582 --> 00:45:04,413
Potluck? Where?

824
00:45:05,618 --> 00:45:07,813
Mr. Nishamura. It's an honor.

825
00:45:10,790 --> 00:45:12,815
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.

826
00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:14,484
Oh.

827
00:45:15,161 --> 00:45:17,561
- My son, Riku.
- Riku.

828
00:45:18,598 --> 00:45:21,658
- Yeah, hey. Hey. Hey...
- Hey. Hey. Hey.

829
00:45:22,168 --> 00:45:23,658
Oh! [groans]

830
00:45:23,703 --> 00:45:26,672
[both groaning]

831
00:45:27,607 --> 00:45:30,633
- Thank you.
- [muttering]

832
00:45:30,677 --> 00:45:32,008
[gulping]

833
00:45:35,715 --> 00:45:37,842
[garbled] Tongue is swollen.

834
00:45:38,451 --> 00:45:43,479
We are dedicating lunch today
to our brave Justine,

835
00:45:43,523 --> 00:45:46,981
who passed away just 2 days ago.

836
00:45:47,026 --> 00:45:50,587
[garbled]
Voicemail. No! Charlie, it's me.

837
00:45:50,630 --> 00:45:53,155
I think we switch peers.

838
00:45:53,199 --> 00:45:54,723
I love cupcakes!

839
00:45:54,767 --> 00:45:59,830
She left us a gift of one of her
world-famous rhubarb pies,

840
00:45:59,873 --> 00:46:05,402
that she baked through her pain
of the last few hours of her life.

841
00:46:05,445 --> 00:46:10,644
- Good mercy!
- No talk. Nishamura. Call me.

842
00:46:12,385 --> 00:46:14,478
Are you ready?

843
00:46:18,091 --> 00:46:20,685
That's Justine's rhubarb pie!

844
00:46:20,727 --> 00:46:23,958
Where is she?
I want to give Justine a big hug.

845
00:46:23,997 --> 00:46:28,366
- She's dead.
- My condolences.

846
00:46:28,401 --> 00:46:30,835
She's dead!

847
00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:39,011
She's dead! She's dead!
Give me it! Dead! She's dead!

848
00:46:39,045 --> 00:46:41,104
That's a close second.

849
00:46:43,416 --> 00:46:45,646
Ooh... Ah!

850
00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:53,115
- Is my face twitching?
- You look great.

851
00:46:53,159 --> 00:46:55,753
You look... great.

852
00:46:55,795 --> 00:46:57,956
Charlie? Are you OK?

853
00:46:57,997 --> 00:47:00,830
I am so sorry about
that whole pie thing.

854
00:47:00,867 --> 00:47:03,335
It must be my blood sugar or something.

855
00:47:03,369 --> 00:47:05,701
It's OK. I think I calmed them down.

856
00:47:05,738 --> 00:47:07,433
Come on. We're having circle time.

857
00:47:07,473 --> 00:47:10,203
- Circle time?
- It's when the whole group

858
00:47:10,243 --> 00:47:11,835
gathers and shares their grief.

859
00:47:11,878 --> 00:47:16,542
Oh... Guys, I'll be back.
I got to go to circle time.

860
00:47:22,922 --> 00:47:25,482
- Um... Hey, Dan?
- Hmm?

861
00:47:25,525 --> 00:47:30,326
How are you doing? I recently put down
$3,000 on an authentic Japanese kimono.

862
00:47:33,333 --> 00:47:34,960
I just want to make sure it goes OK.

863
00:47:48,514 --> 00:47:52,006
Aah... Aah...

864
00:47:57,156 --> 00:47:58,282
[retching]

865
00:47:58,324 --> 00:48:03,728
Dan-san, would you like to use my club?

866
00:48:05,732 --> 00:48:07,791
Is that a "yes"?

867
00:48:07,834 --> 00:48:11,167
- Why is he ignoring my father?
- No, he's just really intense.

868
00:48:11,204 --> 00:48:16,335
He excludes all but the game.
A focus you could learn, my son.

869
00:48:16,376 --> 00:48:18,674
[speaks Japanese]

870
00:48:26,052 --> 00:48:28,987
- Ooh...
- I knew it. Oh, gosh.

871
00:48:29,022 --> 00:48:33,083
Breathe. Just breathe through it.
Walk it off. Walk it off.

872
00:48:33,126 --> 00:48:34,753
We're good. We're good.
Just take a shot.

873
00:48:34,794 --> 00:48:37,354
It just passes, and then...
[gasps] And then it comes back.

874
00:48:37,397 --> 00:48:42,198
After 9 months of excruciating pain,

875
00:48:42,235 --> 00:48:47,298
- the cancer had spread.
- We're all here for you.

876
00:48:51,644 --> 00:48:55,341
- Do you think this is funny?
- He thinks it's funny.

877
00:48:55,381 --> 00:48:57,246
Everybody grieves in their own way.

878
00:48:57,283 --> 00:48:59,478
- That's true.
- If I don't laugh, I'll cry.

879
00:49:09,595 --> 00:49:10,960
[squawks]

880
00:49:15,234 --> 00:49:18,135
The golf gods look favorably upon you.

881
00:49:18,171 --> 00:49:21,732
This is a very good omen.

882
00:49:25,712 --> 00:49:29,045
[Dean Martin: Grazie, Prego, Scusi]

883
00:49:32,985 --> 00:49:34,748
That was some delicious pie.

884
00:49:50,370 --> 00:49:52,770
[Charlie] Dan, have you
seen the Nishamura file?

885
00:49:52,805 --> 00:49:55,899
Hey Dad, maybe tomorrow you can
teach me how to ride a 2-wheel.

886
00:49:55,942 --> 00:49:57,637
I got a lot on my mind right now.

887
00:49:57,677 --> 00:49:59,838
I'm trying to focus,
finish this business deal.

888
00:49:59,879 --> 00:50:02,177
Come on, Dad. You're not even trying.

889
00:50:02,215 --> 00:50:07,152
I'm struggling, OK? That's like trying,
it just... without succeeding.

890
00:50:15,228 --> 00:50:17,719
Oh, come on.
He unplugged the fax machine.

891
00:50:17,764 --> 00:50:20,460
2 open plugs and he has
to unplug the fax machine

892
00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:23,469
- to plug in his little gaming system.
- [Charlie] Big deal. Come on.

893
00:50:23,503 --> 00:50:25,937
You can't run a business
if you can't get faxes on time.

894
00:50:25,972 --> 00:50:28,031
This is the reason
I didn't want to have kids.

895
00:50:31,778 --> 00:50:33,643
I wasn't talking about you, Zach.

896
00:50:37,450 --> 00:50:38,974
Hey, Zach.

897
00:50:39,919 --> 00:50:43,184
Hey, Zach. Zach...

898
00:50:44,390 --> 00:50:46,415
- Zachary!
- [toy squeaks]

899
00:50:59,972 --> 00:51:03,908
I defaced a venerated monument,
literally. Burned down a campground.

900
00:51:03,943 --> 00:51:07,106
My son, for all intents and
purposes, is giving up on me.

901
00:51:07,146 --> 00:51:09,273
I'm failing them everywhere I look.

902
00:51:09,315 --> 00:51:12,773
Emily, one minute she
wants me to be a superhero,

903
00:51:12,819 --> 00:51:16,653
- the next minute a lion, then a king.
- Then be a king, you idiot!

904
00:51:16,689 --> 00:51:19,749
Be a superhero, be a lion,
be whatever she wants.

905
00:51:21,327 --> 00:51:24,455
Don't you get it? She just
wants someone to protect her.

906
00:51:25,965 --> 00:51:28,160
- That's it?
- Yes.

907
00:51:28,201 --> 00:51:30,897
You have to be on their level.
Be like them.

908
00:51:30,937 --> 00:51:33,337
You know what my dad gave me
for my 5th birthday?

909
00:51:33,372 --> 00:51:35,806
- What?
- A calculator.

910
00:51:37,109 --> 00:51:40,101
I don't know what it is about me

911
00:51:40,146 --> 00:51:44,242
that sees you in a crisis and then
comes galloping to your rescue.

912
00:51:44,283 --> 00:51:46,547
But I guess I am who I am, aren't I?

913
00:51:48,821 --> 00:51:51,381
You need help connecting
with these kids?

914
00:51:51,424 --> 00:51:52,982
I'm going to find you help.

915
00:51:54,260 --> 00:51:57,423
- [up-tempo music playing]
- [children cheering]

916
00:51:57,463 --> 00:52:01,194
[children chanting]
Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

917
00:52:01,234 --> 00:52:05,136
[Roger: So Ruff, So Tuff]

918
00:52:26,259 --> 00:52:27,590
- Whoo!
- Rocked it, baby.

919
00:52:27,627 --> 00:52:29,652
Ladies, beautiful as always.

920
00:52:29,695 --> 00:52:31,629
- [Charlie] Jimmy Mac!
- Charlie!

921
00:52:31,664 --> 00:52:33,996
- Yeah, brother!
- What's up? Charlie, look at you!

922
00:52:34,033 --> 00:52:35,330
- Meet my friend, Dan.
- Hey.

923
00:52:35,368 --> 00:52:38,030
Tell me you felt it.
Did you feel it, man?

924
00:52:38,070 --> 00:52:39,697
- Was it electrifying?
- Electrifying.

925
00:52:39,739 --> 00:52:41,104
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.

926
00:52:41,140 --> 00:52:43,802
Like chocolate milk coming
through the nose, baby! Yeah!

927
00:52:43,843 --> 00:52:46,403
2 shows tomorrow, everybody.
So what's going on?

928
00:52:46,445 --> 00:52:47,912
- I was gonna ask you a favor.
- What you need?

929
00:52:47,947 --> 00:52:50,177
Remember at Wade's party
you were talking about

930
00:52:50,216 --> 00:52:53,583
a human puppeteer, this mechanism?
You got that done?

931
00:52:53,619 --> 00:52:55,849
When I was talking to you in confidence?

932
00:52:55,888 --> 00:52:58,789
- Yeah.
- You always had that problem.

933
00:52:58,824 --> 00:53:01,918
This man is in trouble. He has trouble
relating to his own children.

934
00:53:01,961 --> 00:53:03,553
- Oh, my God.
- He needs your help.

935
00:53:03,596 --> 00:53:05,325
With your technology, we can fix this.

936
00:53:05,364 --> 00:53:06,831
- Oh, thank you.
- It's true.

937
00:53:06,866 --> 00:53:09,426
Let me get this right.
You want to hire me

938
00:53:09,468 --> 00:53:11,834
to take this uptight man
and make him a human puppet?

939
00:53:11,871 --> 00:53:14,339
- Yes.
- I'm gonna do it for you.

940
00:53:14,373 --> 00:53:17,342
- Aah!
- Everybody, chop, chop! Whoo!

941
00:53:17,376 --> 00:53:21,176
- I feel so doggone good here.
- [Charlie] All right. We're good to go.

942
00:53:21,213 --> 00:53:23,613
Now, you told me that your
friend didn't know how to play.

943
00:53:23,649 --> 00:53:25,810
- It's true.
- Dan, now you don't have to.

944
00:53:25,851 --> 00:53:28,445
- Charlie's going to play for you.
- [Dan] With this suit?

945
00:53:28,487 --> 00:53:30,887
- Yes. Stick this down your pants.
- Why?

946
00:53:30,923 --> 00:53:34,723
That thing will emit such a jolt that it
will literally tickle your funny bone.

947
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:36,352
- [reverberating]
- [whimpers]

948
00:53:46,906 --> 00:53:48,339
[beeps]

949
00:53:48,374 --> 00:53:50,808
[Charlie] This is a proper tea.

950
00:53:51,877 --> 00:53:55,040
Cup. Bring it up.

951
00:53:55,982 --> 00:53:57,074
Pinky.

952
00:53:57,817 --> 00:53:59,011
This is awesome.

953
00:53:59,051 --> 00:54:03,181
Oh, King Fontana,
I do so admire a proper gentleman.

954
00:54:03,222 --> 00:54:08,592
I admire proper gentlemen, too.
I admire them very, very much.

955
00:54:09,795 --> 00:54:12,389
- What?
- [whimpers quizzically]

956
00:54:12,431 --> 00:54:14,262
[wand reverberates]

957
00:54:14,300 --> 00:54:17,167
That was a good cup of tea.

958
00:54:17,203 --> 00:54:20,661
Why, thank you. As princess of the land,
I have made it specially.

959
00:54:20,706 --> 00:54:24,267
- It is poo-poo flavored.
- [Charlie] She's cute.

960
00:54:24,310 --> 00:54:27,643
- He didn't laugh. Make him laugh.
- Watch this.

961
00:54:30,549 --> 00:54:34,747
- Laugh, puppet. Laugh, laugh.
- [laughing uncontrollably]

962
00:54:50,469 --> 00:54:54,098
"Here with my board. Have questions."

963
00:54:54,140 --> 00:54:57,041
Cool. I have my board, too.

964
00:54:57,076 --> 00:55:02,275
[speaking Japanese]

965
00:55:02,314 --> 00:55:04,805
[Wilson Pickett:
Land of 1,000 Dances]

966
00:55:13,426 --> 00:55:17,556
"Nissan has been our marketing partner
in racing for many years."

967
00:55:17,596 --> 00:55:18,927
[laughs]

968
00:55:18,964 --> 00:55:23,458
- [dings]
- "Nissan is poop."

969
00:55:23,502 --> 00:55:27,996
[all exclaiming]

970
00:55:32,745 --> 00:55:34,645
Ah, ah.

971
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:40,277
Strong words. You suggest we sever ties?

972
00:55:40,319 --> 00:55:42,184
Racecars. Cool.

973
00:55:42,221 --> 00:55:45,850
"...but robots are cooler."

974
00:55:45,891 --> 00:55:49,156
How could he know we're exploring
a major push in that field?

975
00:55:51,664 --> 00:55:53,063
[barks]

976
00:55:56,168 --> 00:55:59,569
- [dings]
- "This is boring. I'm leaving now."

977
00:56:01,207 --> 00:56:04,199
- Fearless, this one.
- Spin him.

978
00:56:04,243 --> 00:56:07,542
- Whoa!
- Spin him. Spin him again.

979
00:56:11,083 --> 00:56:14,109
- [electrical zapping]
- [yelling]

980
00:56:15,121 --> 00:56:17,180
- Too much spin.
- Yeah.

981
00:56:17,223 --> 00:56:19,282
[zapping]

982
00:56:19,325 --> 00:56:20,383
I'm OK.

983
00:56:22,294 --> 00:56:25,491
I told your boy not to get the
battery pack wet. He's on his own.

984
00:56:26,298 --> 00:56:28,732
Sorry, Emily.

985
00:56:34,406 --> 00:56:36,340
Princess?

986
00:56:39,278 --> 00:56:41,109
King Fontana?

987
00:56:43,682 --> 00:56:46,116
Game on.

988
00:56:48,287 --> 00:56:50,118
At your service, my lady.

989
00:56:53,826 --> 00:56:56,090
You know when they found you
after so many years

990
00:56:56,128 --> 00:56:58,892
there were many in my kingdom
who were trepidatious.

991
00:56:58,931 --> 00:57:03,368
- Really hard word.
- Oh. People were scared.

992
00:57:03,402 --> 00:57:07,839
And even most regal I,
your king, was frightened.

993
00:57:07,873 --> 00:57:12,071
- A king who was scared? Ha!
- I know. 'Tis to laugh. Ha...

994
00:57:12,111 --> 00:57:13,806
But 'tis true.

995
00:57:13,846 --> 00:57:17,304
'Tis the reason why
a king may act like a toad.

996
00:57:18,417 --> 00:57:20,942
But the day your king found you,

997
00:57:20,986 --> 00:57:23,648
he vowed to protect you forever.

998
00:57:23,689 --> 00:57:27,853
Even though he didn't know you,
could barely speak your language,

999
00:57:27,893 --> 00:57:30,726
and yes, was a little afraid...

1000
00:57:31,964 --> 00:57:37,596
...he vowed to vanquish any and all
who would do you harm in any way.

1001
00:57:39,738 --> 00:57:41,706
You know that. Right, Emily?

1002
00:57:43,175 --> 00:57:45,473
You know I'll always be there for you.

1003
00:57:45,511 --> 00:57:50,972
You're my daughter,
and I will love you forever.

1004
00:58:03,562 --> 00:58:06,030
- Are you crying?
- No, I'm not. I'm not crying.

1005
00:58:06,065 --> 00:58:11,901
Jimmy Mac, you crying?
Come on, Jimmy.

1006
00:58:15,140 --> 00:58:17,802
[Dan] Your humble servant, madam.

1007
00:58:17,843 --> 00:58:20,368
- OK.
- Don't let go, Dad.

1008
00:58:20,412 --> 00:58:23,176
This reminds me of an article
I once read in Advertising Age,

1009
00:58:23,215 --> 00:58:27,151
which talked about the fact
that a loss in a firm's brand assets

1010
00:58:27,186 --> 00:58:30,485
is negatively correlated
with increased market valuation.

1011
00:58:30,522 --> 00:58:32,251
I don't know what
you're talking about, Dad.

1012
00:58:32,291 --> 00:58:34,885
Let's talk about the fact that
you're riding a 2-wheeler on your own.

1013
00:58:34,927 --> 00:58:39,296
- No hands, baby! No hands!
- I'm doing it, Dad! I'm doing it!

1014
00:58:39,331 --> 00:58:41,822
Yeah! You're doing it.

1015
00:58:44,403 --> 00:58:46,371
- [bicycle crashing]
- Oh...

1016
00:58:46,405 --> 00:58:47,838
[Bryan Adams: Summer of '69]

1017
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,564
Hit it!

1018
00:58:51,744 --> 00:58:53,234
Rookies.

1019
00:58:56,649 --> 00:58:58,640
There you go. That was awesome.

1020
00:59:06,158 --> 00:59:08,683
Hey, look! Look! That's us!

1021
00:59:09,194 --> 00:59:10,752
Yeah!

1022
00:59:16,702 --> 00:59:20,695
We were most impressed by your
knowledge of our assets base.

1023
00:59:20,739 --> 00:59:24,470
But ultimately,
it was your robotics idea

1024
00:59:24,510 --> 00:59:26,944
that pushed us over the top.

1025
00:59:26,979 --> 00:59:29,573
- Robotics?
- Smile and nod.

1026
00:59:29,615 --> 00:59:34,211
We here, at NMG, are ready
to go to the next step.

1027
00:59:34,253 --> 00:59:39,782
Pack your bag, Craig-san.
You're moving to Tokyo.

1028
00:59:49,702 --> 00:59:53,263
I've worked so hard!
It's like I've just been traded!

1029
00:59:53,305 --> 00:59:57,207
- We'll translate that later.
- Come on over!

1030
00:59:59,211 --> 01:00:02,271
- He's very excited.
- Whoo!

1031
01:00:02,314 --> 01:00:05,545
[Shoukichi Kina and Champloose:
Jing Jing]

1032
01:00:13,459 --> 01:00:14,892
Remember, Thursday morning,

1033
01:00:14,927 --> 01:00:17,122
conference call with
Nishamura and the board.

1034
01:00:17,162 --> 01:00:19,255
You set things up,
and we'll take it from there.

1035
01:00:19,298 --> 01:00:22,825
Got it. Conference call Thursday,
tee it up for the big guns.

1036
01:00:23,902 --> 01:00:25,961
I just want to say thanks, you guys.

1037
01:00:26,005 --> 01:00:29,372
Nobody's ever really believed
in me the way that you two have.

1038
01:00:29,408 --> 01:00:32,468
And it really means a lot to me.
You guys are like...

1039
01:00:34,380 --> 01:00:38,214
You're like the 2 dads that I never had.
I really appreciate it.

1040
01:00:38,784 --> 01:00:42,880
My 2 father figures.
I'm going to do you proud.

1041
01:00:42,921 --> 01:00:46,550
- All right.
- Go To.

1042
01:00:46,592 --> 01:00:48,617
- You don't want to be late.
- Whoo!

1043
01:00:48,660 --> 01:00:51,925
Look out, Japan. Here comes
some serious business.

1044
01:00:57,803 --> 01:00:59,293
[Lifehouse: You and Me]

1045
01:01:03,942 --> 01:01:05,842
Oh, God help us.

1046
01:01:05,878 --> 01:01:08,938
It was so cool, Mom.
Dad taught me how to ride a 2-wheeler,

1047
01:01:08,981 --> 01:01:12,109
and then we got to hang out
with the New York Mets!

1048
01:01:12,151 --> 01:01:15,450
Let me talk to her.
And Dad promised that he'd

1049
01:01:15,487 --> 01:01:17,717
do something huge
for our birthday this year.

1050
01:01:17,756 --> 01:01:19,451
But he won't even tell us what it is.

1051
01:01:19,491 --> 01:01:21,288
- Let me say hi to him.
- [Emily] OK.

1052
01:01:21,326 --> 01:01:24,454
Hey. I'm coming to get you tomorrow.
No arguments.

1053
01:01:24,496 --> 01:01:26,623
Tomorrow morning, I have
the biggest conference call

1054
01:01:26,665 --> 01:01:29,463
in my entire career,
but after that I'm all yours.

1055
01:01:29,501 --> 01:01:32,868
It's amazing. I left the kids
with you out of desperation,

1056
01:01:32,905 --> 01:01:35,396
but now I can't imagine
having done it differently.

1057
01:01:35,808 --> 01:01:37,139
Me too.

1058
01:02:26,758 --> 01:02:29,784
Oh, great. This is a record.

1059
01:02:29,828 --> 01:02:33,423
He unplugged a laptop,
BlackBerry, lamp, an alarm cl...

1060
01:02:35,434 --> 01:02:36,901
- Charlie!
- What?

1061
01:02:36,935 --> 01:02:38,300
- What?!
- Conference call.

1062
01:02:40,706 --> 01:02:42,037
- Let's go!
- No, no, no.

1063
01:02:42,074 --> 01:02:43,974
- My notes!
- [Charlie] No time!

1064
01:02:46,378 --> 01:02:51,816
- In 3, 2, 1...
- Kids! In the car!

1065
01:02:55,254 --> 01:02:58,223
Just a second... Good...

1066
01:03:00,559 --> 01:03:02,117
Nishamura-san.

1067
01:03:02,161 --> 01:03:04,755
Please accept our
sincere apology for the delay.

1068
01:03:04,796 --> 01:03:08,095
We trust our colleague, Craig,
has already begun the presentation.

1069
01:03:08,133 --> 01:03:11,034
I'm afraid your colleague,
Craig, has not been

1070
01:03:11,069 --> 01:03:14,129
seen nor heard from
since the moment he arrived.

1071
01:03:14,173 --> 01:03:16,471
Really?

1072
01:03:16,508 --> 01:03:18,271
He 's just a little thing.

1073
01:03:18,310 --> 01:03:20,938
He looks more like a little
leprechaun in a business suit.

1074
01:03:20,979 --> 01:03:22,241
- You can 't miss him.
- Red hair...

1075
01:03:22,281 --> 01:03:25,682
He called me from
the Ginza his first night,

1076
01:03:25,717 --> 01:03:29,813
and all I heard was...
[mimics techno beats]

1077
01:03:29,855 --> 01:03:33,916
Techno music... and something about
the teachings of a karaoke master.

1078
01:03:33,959 --> 01:03:35,324
[techno music plays]

1079
01:03:36,828 --> 01:03:38,989
<i>* Hey-hey</i>

1080
01:03:39,031 --> 01:03:42,000
Ai! Ai! Ai! [shouts]

1081
01:03:42,034 --> 01:03:44,559
- Ah...
- [Nishamura] Dan-san.

1082
01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:49,302
I have the utmost respect for you,
but an hour delay

1083
01:03:49,341 --> 01:03:53,641
and a missing executive is not the way
to begin a relationship.

1084
01:03:53,679 --> 01:03:55,476
We will do anything
to make it work out.

1085
01:03:55,514 --> 01:03:57,846
We are there for you,
Nishamura-san, 24/7.

1086
01:03:57,883 --> 01:04:03,253
Good. That is what I hoped to hear.
So, if we are to move forward

1087
01:04:03,288 --> 01:04:07,918
you and Charlie are the ones
who must move here to Tokyo

1088
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,224
and be our liaison.

1089
01:04:10,262 --> 01:04:15,097
That is my final and only offer.

1090
01:04:21,740 --> 01:04:25,506
OK... Let's do this.
Let's do this. Just do it.

1091
01:04:31,783 --> 01:04:34,775
- Thank you. Oh!
- Hey.

1092
01:04:34,820 --> 01:04:38,017
Oh! Freedom. I can smell the air again.

1093
01:04:39,992 --> 01:04:42,222
- How are the kids?
- Great.

1094
01:04:42,261 --> 01:04:44,229
- Maybe we should get going.
- OK.

1095
01:04:44,263 --> 01:04:45,821
[Chris Isaak: This Love Will Last]

1096
01:04:45,864 --> 01:04:50,392
I just went with the motto, "Don't
serve the time, let the time serve you."

1097
01:04:51,203 --> 01:04:55,537
The truth is, Dan, most of what
I was reflecting on was us.

1098
01:04:55,574 --> 01:04:57,064
Really?

1099
01:04:57,109 --> 01:04:59,577
And the way you've proven yourself
to me with the kids.

1100
01:05:00,512 --> 01:05:02,537
- Bless you.
- [Vicki] Our kids.

1101
01:05:02,581 --> 01:05:06,915
- Yeah.
- Maybe you were right 2 weeks ago.

1102
01:05:06,952 --> 01:05:09,079
Maybe it is time to give us another try.

1103
01:05:10,922 --> 01:05:13,390
Really? [laughs]

1104
01:05:13,425 --> 01:05:15,120
[Vicki sighs] Timing.

1105
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:16,889
- Timing's perfect.
- Timing.

1106
01:05:16,928 --> 01:05:18,862
- [Vicki] Wow.
- Wow.

1107
01:05:30,042 --> 01:05:32,135
[Vicki] Where are they?

1108
01:05:32,744 --> 01:05:35,269
- Oh, my babies.
- Mom.

1109
01:05:35,314 --> 01:05:38,511
Oh! I missed you so much.

1110
01:05:38,550 --> 01:05:41,713
All right. I made you guys something.

1111
01:05:41,753 --> 01:05:44,722
- [trumpeting]
- Cool!

1112
01:05:44,756 --> 01:05:45,780
Thanks, Mom.

1113
01:05:45,824 --> 01:05:47,951
Don't worry, Charlie.
I didn't forget you.

1114
01:05:47,993 --> 01:05:51,292
I carved you a little soap bunny.

1115
01:05:51,330 --> 01:05:52,797
Oh, Charlie.

1116
01:05:52,831 --> 01:05:55,322
I'll strike that right off
my Christmas list.

1117
01:05:55,367 --> 01:05:58,894
Hey, that's a thoughtful gift.
That's wonderful.

1118
01:06:00,238 --> 01:06:02,798
We need to discuss something,
though, as a family.

1119
01:06:02,841 --> 01:06:05,366
- I'll give you a moment.
- OK.

1120
01:06:07,579 --> 01:06:10,343
[dog grunting]

1121
01:06:12,984 --> 01:06:17,284
When you reappeared in my life, Charlie
and I were in the middle of a deal

1122
01:06:17,322 --> 01:06:20,257
that could be the culmination
of our 30 years in this business.

1123
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:26,827
But in order to close that deal...
I have to move to Japan.

1124
01:06:28,033 --> 01:06:30,263
What about our birthday? The big party?

1125
01:06:30,302 --> 01:06:32,736
I'm probably going to miss this one.

1126
01:06:32,771 --> 01:06:36,002
But I'm going to try really hard
and come back every 6 months.

1127
01:06:36,041 --> 01:06:38,635
So I'll make the next one
most likely, you know?

1128
01:06:39,978 --> 01:06:42,105
What about what you said 2 weeks ago?

1129
01:06:42,147 --> 01:06:44,479
What about trying to make us work?

1130
01:06:44,516 --> 01:06:48,816
I meant that. I really did. But...

1131
01:06:48,854 --> 01:06:52,984
But, Daddy, if you move to Japan,
who will protect the kingdom?

1132
01:06:56,428 --> 01:06:59,056
I know you wanted me
to be a superhero, Emily.

1133
01:06:59,097 --> 01:07:01,827
You all wanted me to be one.

1134
01:07:01,867 --> 01:07:04,563
But I'm not. I wish I could be.

1135
01:07:04,603 --> 01:07:07,401
I'd fly back and forth
from Japan every day.

1136
01:07:10,942 --> 01:07:13,069
I'm just a guy in marketing.

1137
01:07:18,049 --> 01:07:20,210
I'm going to go pack the kids.

1138
01:07:22,487 --> 01:07:24,148
I'm sorry, you guys.

1139
01:07:39,070 --> 01:07:41,038
- Hello. Thank you.
- May I take your bag?

1140
01:07:41,072 --> 01:07:43,939
Why don't we think of
this deal as our child.

1141
01:07:43,975 --> 01:07:46,443
- Uh-huh.
- Hello. Hi.

1142
01:07:47,979 --> 01:07:51,073
I know you're upset about leaving,
but we're going to fix it, OK?

1143
01:07:51,116 --> 01:07:53,778
We're going to find somebody
to replace Craig who's smarter,

1144
01:07:53,819 --> 01:07:57,255
and in 6 months to a year,
we're home. OK?

1145
01:07:57,289 --> 01:07:59,621
- You think?
- This time I just say to you,

1146
01:07:59,658 --> 01:08:02,252
"Embrace it. People love Japan."

1147
01:08:03,395 --> 01:08:05,386
- Want some?
- No!

1148
01:08:05,430 --> 01:08:08,024
- What? No?
- No. No. OK.

1149
01:08:08,066 --> 01:08:11,467
[Pizzicato 5: Twiggy Twiggy]

1150
01:08:18,310 --> 01:08:22,110
[Charlie] The truth is, I probably
looked like the Joker from Batman.

1151
01:08:22,147 --> 01:08:24,672
But I felt bad. These poor, sad people.

1152
01:08:24,716 --> 01:08:27,776
Anyway, I'm the first guy
to insult a bereavement group

1153
01:08:27,819 --> 01:08:28,945
and still get the girl.

1154
01:08:32,491 --> 01:08:34,425
That's Yankee ingenuity!

1155
01:08:34,826 --> 01:08:39,456
Please, Charlie, show us that
facial paralysis smile one more time.

1156
01:08:47,606 --> 01:08:49,972
All right, do your thing, superstar.

1157
01:08:50,008 --> 01:08:51,475
Thank you.

1158
01:08:53,645 --> 01:08:56,045
The American sports market
is a minefield,

1159
01:08:56,081 --> 01:08:57,673
and what I'd like to do today

1160
01:08:57,716 --> 01:09:02,653
is draw a map
through that minefield so that...

1161
01:09:08,026 --> 01:09:10,620
OK, Dan. Let's get going.

1162
01:09:10,662 --> 01:09:13,392
- I accessed the wrong file.
- [computer beeping]

1163
01:09:13,431 --> 01:09:15,365
- Dad!
- Hey, Dad.

1164
01:09:17,168 --> 01:09:19,466
Um... A little technical...

1165
01:09:21,273 --> 01:09:23,264
[speaks Japanese]

1166
01:09:23,308 --> 01:09:26,539
- I can do it from my notes.
- OK.

1167
01:09:36,588 --> 01:09:39,955
The first market segment is, um...

1168
01:09:41,860 --> 01:09:42,884
Let's go.

1169
01:09:44,863 --> 01:09:49,732
The idea of sports to a kid...

1170
01:09:52,637 --> 01:09:54,605
[Charlie] Dan, what's going on?

1171
01:09:56,942 --> 01:09:59,467
How could you have tanked that
meeting? The way I set you up,

1172
01:09:59,511 --> 01:10:02,105
you could've told them we were hiring
monkeys and they would have bought it!

1173
01:10:03,048 --> 01:10:04,538
That was our dream, Dan!

1174
01:10:04,583 --> 01:10:08,041
That was going to put us in the hall
of fame of sports marketing.

1175
01:10:08,086 --> 01:10:09,110
Go!

1176
01:10:09,154 --> 01:10:12,351
Remember that USFL account we got?
That would've been the one to tank!

1177
01:10:12,390 --> 01:10:15,325
- Will you please shut up?!
- Now you speak!

1178
01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:17,385
- You want a piece of me? Bring it!
- Bring it! Come on!

1179
01:10:17,429 --> 01:10:20,023
All right! Sorry.

1180
01:10:20,065 --> 01:10:21,896
How's this going to work out, snowball?

1181
01:10:21,933 --> 01:10:24,629
I don't know, man tan. You'll be OK.

1182
01:10:24,669 --> 01:10:28,537
You'll tap-dance your way into a
brand-new job, still date 35-year-olds.

1183
01:10:28,573 --> 01:10:32,009
You never grew up.
You never had to. You always had me.

1184
01:10:32,344 --> 01:10:34,676
[both grumbling]

1185
01:10:34,713 --> 01:10:36,578
- God!
- It is small enough!

1186
01:10:36,615 --> 01:10:38,810
- Shut up, Charlie!
- Made for a sardine.

1187
01:10:38,850 --> 01:10:41,910
- I'm a big man. This is a little seat.
- Yeah, you're a big ma...

1188
01:10:41,953 --> 01:10:45,252
- Stop trying to change me, Charlie.
- You know I can't do that.

1189
01:10:45,290 --> 01:10:47,690
- Then I'm done.
- Done with taking my advice?

1190
01:10:47,726 --> 01:10:50,456
- Mmm-hmm.
- Late-night rap sessions?

1191
01:10:50,495 --> 01:10:52,360
But not done
with the time-share in Vail.

1192
01:10:52,397 --> 01:10:54,592
- No, I'm done with you.
- [bell dings]

1193
01:10:54,633 --> 01:10:56,624
<i>[man on PA] Welcome aboard,
flight 9 to New York.</i>

1194
01:10:56,668 --> 01:10:58,829
<i>We got 18 hours
of flight time ahead of us,</i>

1195
01:10:58,870 --> 01:11:02,306
<i>so turn to the person next to you
and get to know them.</i>

1196
01:11:02,340 --> 01:11:04,171
<i>It's going to be a long ride.</i>

1197
01:11:06,478 --> 01:11:07,945
Where you from?

1198
01:11:10,281 --> 01:11:12,749
The whole trip was a bust
from start to finish.

1199
01:11:13,151 --> 01:11:14,709
Amanda, could I call you back?

1200
01:11:14,753 --> 01:11:18,587
I got to pick up Lucky
from the dog hotel. I'll call you.

1201
01:11:19,791 --> 01:11:22,692
Where's my boy? Where's my boy?

1202
01:11:22,727 --> 01:11:26,959
Lucky, come here, boy.
Where's my goo-go!

1203
01:11:27,532 --> 01:11:28,556
Where is he?

1204
01:11:32,904 --> 01:11:35,930
- Where is he?
- We tried to call.

1205
01:11:35,974 --> 01:11:37,771
[David Gray: As I'm Leavin']

1206
01:11:43,948 --> 01:11:46,348
[Charlie on machine]
Hello, Daniel, it's Charlie.

1207
01:11:46,384 --> 01:11:50,115
Thought you'd like to know that after
14 wonderful, fulfilling years together,

1208
01:11:50,155 --> 01:11:52,919
my true best friend, Lucky, has passed.

1209
01:11:52,957 --> 01:11:56,358
Maybe my life isn't as blessed
as you paint it to be.

1210
01:11:56,394 --> 01:11:58,988
I thought you'd like to know
that the funeral is this Tuesday

1211
01:11:59,030 --> 01:12:02,158
followed by a small,
tasteful reception at my house.

1212
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:03,792
I'm indifferent as to whether you come.

1213
01:12:03,835 --> 01:12:05,496
- [machine beeps]
- [Craig] Gentlemen, it's Craig,

1214
01:12:05,537 --> 01:12:07,232
and I'm back in New York.

1215
01:12:07,272 --> 01:12:08,603
I know I messed up.

1216
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:11,108
I take full responsibility
for the mistakes that I made.

1217
01:12:11,142 --> 01:12:14,134
I'm not going to beg,
and I won't call again.

1218
01:12:15,113 --> 01:12:17,081
The truth is that I was a preemie.

1219
01:12:17,115 --> 01:12:21,211
I was several weeks premature, and
there was talk of oxygen deprivation.

1220
01:12:21,252 --> 01:12:22,879
I'm not making excuses,
but the doctor said...

1221
01:12:22,921 --> 01:12:25,014
- [machine beeps]
- Idiot.

1222
01:12:38,103 --> 01:12:40,071
Oh... [sighs heavily]

1223
01:12:40,105 --> 01:12:42,539
You know someone a bunch of years,

1224
01:12:42,574 --> 01:12:46,772
and it's easy to forget
that you were fortunate enough

1225
01:12:46,811 --> 01:12:49,371
to have known them for even one day.

1226
01:12:49,748 --> 01:12:54,344
And that was Lucky, to me.
I mean, he was my friend.

1227
01:12:54,385 --> 01:12:57,980
He... Well, even more important,
he was my family.

1228
01:12:58,022 --> 01:13:00,889
And where was I when he was
breathing his last breath?

1229
01:13:00,925 --> 01:13:03,257
In Japan, making a business deal.

1230
01:13:05,063 --> 01:13:08,294
Is there anyone who would like
to say anything about Lucky

1231
01:13:08,333 --> 01:13:11,234
- before we say goodbye?
- [Dan] I would.

1232
01:13:20,178 --> 01:13:22,078
I've had the great pleasure
of being the other old dog

1233
01:13:22,113 --> 01:13:24,240
in Charlie's life for the past 30 years.

1234
01:13:26,084 --> 01:13:28,348
Like Lucky,

1235
01:13:28,386 --> 01:13:31,787
I feel like a fortunate son of a gun
to have Charlie as a friend.

1236
01:13:36,895 --> 01:13:38,590
- You're so cute.
- [dogs barking]

1237
01:13:38,630 --> 01:13:39,995
Here. A nice bowl of cold water.

1238
01:13:40,031 --> 01:13:42,431
- I'm really glad you came, man.
- Me too.

1239
01:13:42,467 --> 01:13:43,764
It's really important to me.

1240
01:13:45,336 --> 01:13:47,736
- I've said some things...
- Please, don't go there.

1241
01:13:47,772 --> 01:13:49,000
- I have to.
- Why?

1242
01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:52,032
You've always had faith in me,
even when I didn't have faith in myself.

1243
01:13:52,076 --> 01:13:54,909
You're not just my best friend,
you're the best kind of friend.

1244
01:13:55,747 --> 01:13:57,977
You're loyal, honorable...

1245
01:13:58,583 --> 01:14:02,383
But? See I knew there was a "but."
This is gonna sting like a mother. Go.

1246
01:14:02,420 --> 01:14:04,183
Aside from going into business with you,

1247
01:14:04,222 --> 01:14:07,419
I've only made 2 good decisions
in my entire life.

1248
01:14:07,458 --> 01:14:11,019
Marrying Vicki and taking those kids.

1249
01:14:11,062 --> 01:14:13,553
And those are the 2 most impulsive
things I've done in my entire life,

1250
01:14:13,598 --> 01:14:16,590
besides the tattoo, which,
God willing, I'll get over one day.

1251
01:14:16,634 --> 01:14:20,434
I feel another moment of Dan Rayburn
impulsivity about to happen.

1252
01:14:20,471 --> 01:14:22,837
Charlie, this is big.
I'm talking about uprooting,

1253
01:14:22,874 --> 01:14:25,570
change of scenery,
the end of the business as we know it.

1254
01:14:25,610 --> 01:14:29,603
Oh, Dan. We'll figure out the business.
We always do.

1255
01:14:29,647 --> 01:14:34,277
- Yeah, but... I have to get them back.
- Nah. Absolutely not.

1256
01:14:36,087 --> 01:14:37,247
We're gonna get 'em back.

1257
01:14:38,189 --> 01:14:40,521
Yeah. Yeah, little man.

1258
01:14:52,303 --> 01:14:55,830
- Out of the way. Dad on a mission.
- You guys aren't gonna regret this.

1259
01:14:55,874 --> 01:14:58,206
I'll do whatever it takes
to get back into your good grace...

1260
01:14:59,177 --> 01:15:01,338
You want to lighten up
on the throttle, Sparky?

1261
01:15:01,379 --> 01:15:04,815
- We got a zoo exit coming up here.
- [tires screeching]

1262
01:15:04,849 --> 01:15:06,578
I'm not gonna miss that birthday party.

1263
01:15:06,618 --> 01:15:08,609
It's just great to get the 3 amigos
back together again.

1264
01:15:08,653 --> 01:15:10,780
[both] You're still on probation!

1265
01:15:14,959 --> 01:15:17,792
- [Dan] No, no. That's not a lock.
- You open?

1266
01:15:17,829 --> 01:15:20,525
Nah. Sorry,
the zoo closes at 3:00 to new visitors.

1267
01:15:20,565 --> 01:15:23,261
But my kids are in there.
They're having a birthday party,

1268
01:15:23,301 --> 01:15:25,701
and I have to be there because I'm Dad.

1269
01:15:25,737 --> 01:15:27,762
Yeah. This is Dan Rayburn, superdad.

1270
01:15:27,805 --> 01:15:30,171
Check on your list. R-A-Y-B-U-R-N.

1271
01:15:30,208 --> 01:15:34,770
[man] Superdad is super late, all right?
Rayburn? You know what?

1272
01:15:34,812 --> 01:15:37,975
You don't even have the same last name
as the birthday kids. Can't do it.

1273
01:15:38,016 --> 01:15:41,782
- How does 3 big ones sound?
- A little money, huh?

1274
01:15:41,819 --> 01:15:45,516
Don't you ever hand me
3 dollars again.

1275
01:15:45,556 --> 01:15:47,649
- Come on. You can let us...
- You already have a kid there.

1276
01:15:47,692 --> 01:15:49,284
- [Charlie] It's fine.
- I can't let you in.

1277
01:15:49,327 --> 01:15:52,160
He's got a heart problem.
He just wants to see his kids.

1278
01:15:52,196 --> 01:15:54,858
- You shall not pass.
- You're great at your job, man!

1279
01:15:56,134 --> 01:15:58,625
Charlie, what are you doing?

1280
01:15:59,938 --> 01:16:01,166
What are you thinking?

1281
01:16:01,706 --> 01:16:05,267
Danny boy, I am going to
get you into that party,

1282
01:16:05,310 --> 01:16:08,302
at great risk
to my perfect legal record.

1283
01:16:08,980 --> 01:16:11,471
- [Craig] Through here?
- Oh, yeah. Here we go.

1284
01:16:11,516 --> 01:16:13,814
- That's breaking and entering. No, no.
- Bingo!

1285
01:16:13,851 --> 01:16:15,682
- Don't do that.
- Wait. Let me do it.

1286
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:17,347
- [Charlie] Why?
- I'll take the risk.

1287
01:16:17,388 --> 01:16:19,253
OK. Go ahead.

1288
01:16:21,125 --> 01:16:22,752
Yeah...

1289
01:16:22,794 --> 01:16:24,421
- Come on. Come on.
- I got it.

1290
01:16:25,997 --> 01:16:28,591
- I need some help. I need help.
- [lock snaps]

1291
01:16:29,467 --> 01:16:31,059
- OK.
- Go, Craig.

1292
01:16:31,102 --> 01:16:33,229
- [Craig] Me? OK.
- Yeah, you first.

1293
01:16:33,271 --> 01:16:36,035
- [indistinct chattering]
- What's her name?

1294
01:16:43,247 --> 01:16:44,874
- We made it.
- We did it!

1295
01:16:44,916 --> 01:16:49,410
Yeah! Can't keep Dan Rayburn out.

1296
01:16:49,954 --> 01:16:51,888
Never doubt you, Charlie. Never.

1297
01:16:51,923 --> 01:16:54,391
- We are in the zoo, guys.
- All right, which way?

1298
01:16:54,425 --> 01:16:56,950
A moat. I wonder what lives here.

1299
01:16:56,995 --> 01:16:59,623
- [all exclaim]
- We're in the gorilla enclosure.

1300
01:16:59,664 --> 01:17:01,723
- What?
- Stand still.

1301
01:17:01,766 --> 01:17:04,166
Hold still. Don't do it. Don't move.

1302
01:17:04,202 --> 01:17:07,103
- Gorilla. Silverback gorilla.
- Stay where you are.

1303
01:17:07,138 --> 01:17:09,299
Don't look at him in the eyes.
Just look away.

1304
01:17:09,340 --> 01:17:12,366
If you don't see him, he doesn't
see you. Back up to the tunnel.

1305
01:17:12,410 --> 01:17:14,878
You have to be aggressive with
the larger apes. I've read about this.

1306
01:17:14,912 --> 01:17:17,312
- Back up to the tunnel.
- No, no. No retreat.

1307
01:17:17,348 --> 01:17:20,249
- Retreat. No, retreat.
- You retreat, we are dead.

1308
01:17:20,752 --> 01:17:23,277
He senses fear, he attacks.
Be aggressive.

1309
01:17:24,489 --> 01:17:29,222
- [howling]
- [shrieking]

1310
01:17:29,260 --> 01:17:32,320
[all continue shouting]

1311
01:17:34,866 --> 01:17:38,302
- [Charlie] Food!
- Don't provoke it! Charlie, no!

1312
01:17:38,336 --> 01:17:39,928
Aah!

1313
01:17:43,274 --> 01:17:46,141
- Oh!
- [Dan] Charlie!

1314
01:17:46,177 --> 01:17:48,202
Aggression not working.
Maybe we should be submissive.

1315
01:17:49,047 --> 01:17:52,141
- Or run!
- Every man for himself!

1316
01:17:52,183 --> 01:17:53,309
Run! Go!

1317
01:17:56,020 --> 01:17:57,044
Come on, Danny boy.

1318
01:17:58,189 --> 01:17:59,213
- [grunting]
- Uh-oh.

1319
01:17:59,257 --> 01:18:03,557
- [growling]
- [shrieks]

1320
01:18:06,297 --> 01:18:07,457
[both yell]

1321
01:18:14,505 --> 01:18:17,201
- We're alive!
- [chittering]

1322
01:18:17,241 --> 01:18:20,335
- Penguins!
- [both] Aw...

1323
01:18:20,378 --> 01:18:22,005
- I love penguins.
- Me too.

1324
01:18:23,314 --> 01:18:24,713
[all screeching]

1325
01:18:25,917 --> 01:18:28,613
- Angry penguins!
- Save yourself!

1326
01:18:28,653 --> 01:18:29,711
Go to your kids!

1327
01:18:31,556 --> 01:18:33,046
Ow! Ow! Ow!

1328
01:18:35,026 --> 01:18:37,085
Charlie! Charlie!

1329
01:18:38,362 --> 01:18:41,388
- I love you, Charlie!
- Ooh!

1330
01:18:45,069 --> 01:18:48,004
[whimpering]

1331
01:18:51,909 --> 01:18:55,310
[softly] Help. Help.
Help. Help. Help.

1332
01:18:56,314 --> 01:18:57,838
Aahh...

1333
01:18:59,750 --> 01:19:02,218
Everybody, it's cake time.

1334
01:19:05,256 --> 01:19:06,280
Oh!

1335
01:19:08,025 --> 01:19:10,721
- Birthday parties. Which way?
- They're on Adventure Island.

1336
01:19:10,761 --> 01:19:13,093
But the tunnel's closed.
There's no way to get there from here.

1337
01:19:13,131 --> 01:19:16,726
No, no. I got to get
to that birthday party. Please.

1338
01:19:19,036 --> 01:19:20,060
OK.

1339
01:19:21,906 --> 01:19:23,771
- What are you doing?
- Some little girl

1340
01:19:23,808 --> 01:19:26,038
wants a superhero
to fly into her birthday party.

1341
01:19:26,077 --> 01:19:29,046
- Mom calls me, I show up.
- Really?

1342
01:19:32,817 --> 01:19:34,910
We're going to sing Happy Birthday.

1343
01:19:36,387 --> 01:19:38,651
- How does this work?
- You go up, you come down.

1344
01:19:38,689 --> 01:19:41,886
- It's not rocket science, chief.
- And it's safe?

1345
01:19:41,926 --> 01:19:45,259
- Aah... Sure.
- Oh.

1346
01:19:47,031 --> 01:19:50,592
Daddy's coming. Yeah!
Which way is the party?

1347
01:19:50,635 --> 01:19:52,762
- Northwest!
- You got it!

1348
01:19:52,803 --> 01:19:55,135
- [man] Go for it!
- Yeah. Yeah!

1349
01:19:58,209 --> 01:20:01,576
Killer penguins.
Killer penguins!

1350
01:20:02,680 --> 01:20:04,739
- Killer penguins!
- [Dan] Charlie!

1351
01:20:05,449 --> 01:20:08,179
Dan! What's he doing up there?

1352
01:20:08,219 --> 01:20:10,779
Ah, he wanted to be a superhero
for his daughter's birthday.

1353
01:20:10,821 --> 01:20:13,790
- He know what he's doing?
- It's like a ride. Don't worry.

1354
01:20:15,493 --> 01:20:19,054
Go, Danny boy!
I'm the wind beneath your wings!

1355
01:20:19,096 --> 01:20:21,792
There's no stopping Dan Rayburn!

1356
01:20:23,834 --> 01:20:26,200
Did you see a little man?
He's about yea-big.

1357
01:20:26,237 --> 01:20:28,671
He's got reddish hair.
He looks like a Hobbit.

1358
01:20:29,106 --> 01:20:31,631
[moaning] Just go to your happy place!

1359
01:20:31,676 --> 01:20:36,807
- Just go to a happy place!
- [both] 1, 2, 3!

1360
01:20:37,114 --> 01:20:40,242
I can fly!

1361
01:20:40,818 --> 01:20:43,514
I can fly! Yes!

1362
01:20:46,991 --> 01:20:50,085
Happy birthday, Zach and Emily!

1363
01:20:51,362 --> 01:20:54,297
Look, guys, it's a superhero,
just like you wanted.

1364
01:20:54,332 --> 01:20:56,493
I'm coming, kids!

1365
01:20:57,134 --> 01:20:59,659
- Oh, my gosh! Dan?
- It's Dad!

1366
01:20:59,704 --> 01:21:02,229
- It's me, Fatherman!
- [Emily] Dad!

1367
01:21:02,273 --> 01:21:03,968
[Dan] Yeah!

1368
01:21:04,008 --> 01:21:05,032
I knew it.

1369
01:21:05,076 --> 01:21:08,136
That's right, kids.
Believe what you see!

1370
01:21:08,179 --> 01:21:09,203
[motor sputtering]

1371
01:21:09,247 --> 01:21:10,942
- Isn't enough fuel.
- Be careful!

1372
01:21:10,982 --> 01:21:13,746
[screaming]

1373
01:21:22,493 --> 01:21:24,461
[sings All Out of Love]

1374
01:21:34,572 --> 01:21:36,904
- [growling]
- [resumes singing]

1375
01:21:39,610 --> 01:21:43,046
I'm so sorry.
I just wanted to make an impact.

1376
01:21:43,080 --> 01:21:44,741
Mission accomplished.

1377
01:21:44,782 --> 01:21:47,342
I'm not that bad. It doesn't hurt.
I don't need to go to the hospital.

1378
01:21:47,385 --> 01:21:49,444
I just need to go home and sleep it off.

1379
01:21:49,887 --> 01:21:51,582
- You want to go home?
- Yeah.

1380
01:21:51,622 --> 01:21:53,317
You're in Burlington.
You know that, right?

1381
01:21:53,357 --> 01:21:56,520
I know that.
I rented a house a half mile from here.

1382
01:21:58,095 --> 01:21:59,960
You moved here?

1383
01:21:59,997 --> 01:22:03,057
Look, I know
I loused it up for us romantically

1384
01:22:03,100 --> 01:22:05,591
when I chose Japan over you.

1385
01:22:06,137 --> 01:22:09,629
And after what happened in South Beach,
that's pretty much unforgivable.

1386
01:22:10,174 --> 01:22:12,039
But these guys
weren't around in South Beach.

1387
01:22:13,077 --> 01:22:16,342
Good timing or bad timing, I love them.

1388
01:22:17,548 --> 01:22:20,415
I moved here so,
whether they want to visit me or not,

1389
01:22:20,451 --> 01:22:22,146
I could be closer to them.

1390
01:22:23,487 --> 01:22:26,081
I'm not a superhero, kids.
Maybe that's a good thing

1391
01:22:26,123 --> 01:22:29,320
because, you know, superheroes
are always off fighting crime.

1392
01:22:30,795 --> 01:22:33,229
And I just want to be with you guys...

1393
01:22:33,531 --> 01:22:35,123
forever, if you'll let me.

1394
01:22:40,404 --> 01:22:41,928
Deal.

1395
01:22:42,440 --> 01:22:44,601
You're on my oxygen!

1396
01:22:44,642 --> 01:22:46,872
Aah! [laughs]

1397
01:22:52,717 --> 01:22:54,548
[snoring]

1398
01:22:56,700 --> 01:23:02,500
Subtitles: Arigon

1399
01:23:15,973 --> 01:23:18,601
- [growling]
- [shrieking]

1400
01:23:18,642 --> 01:23:20,940
[Lily Allen: LDN]

1401
01:23:20,978 --> 01:23:23,242
[Charlie] Long story short,
he gets the kids, he gets his wife.

1402
01:23:23,280 --> 01:23:24,713
And Nishamura calls and says,

1403
01:23:24,749 --> 01:23:27,445
"We want a family man
to represent a family business."

1404
01:23:27,485 --> 01:23:30,420
Boom, $47 million in fees later,

1405
01:23:30,454 --> 01:23:32,479
here we are on my best friend's boat
going to Aruba.

1406
01:23:32,523 --> 01:23:34,889
That is a true story. I mean, come on.

1407
01:23:34,925 --> 01:23:37,826
Well, it's a good thing
you brought us down here

1408
01:23:37,862 --> 01:23:41,821
because the high seas are a
dangerous mistress for these children.

1409
01:23:41,866 --> 01:23:46,132
Excuse me. What are you doing
to my boat? Oh, the safety squad? Why?

1410
01:23:46,170 --> 01:23:49,970
It's my kid, OK? The fruit of my loins.
And you just relax, OK?

1411
01:23:50,007 --> 01:23:52,032
We're going to fix this boat
so it's safe for her.

1412
01:23:52,076 --> 01:23:53,600
[Dan] Your baby's only 3 months old!

1413
01:23:53,644 --> 01:23:56,272
- [moaning]
- Nick!

1414
01:23:56,313 --> 01:23:58,838
- [choking]
- This is not a Sizzler!

1415
01:23:59,683 --> 01:24:01,048
All right, so 2 weeks.

1416
01:24:01,085 --> 01:24:03,349
Keep the office running smooth
until the big guns get back.

1417
01:24:03,387 --> 01:24:05,787
- That'll be my sole scope of work.
- Now, Craig,

1418
01:24:05,823 --> 01:24:08,121
no more karaoke. You are cut off.

1419
01:24:08,159 --> 01:24:10,491
Not even in your own house.
You can do it.

1420
01:24:10,528 --> 01:24:15,591
- Go To! We're gonna miss you, Go To.
- Hey, you guys are using my nickname.

1421
01:24:20,171 --> 01:24:22,401
- Oh...
- [Gary] Nick?

1422
01:24:22,440 --> 01:24:24,533
Listen. Are you good at puzzles?

1423
01:24:24,575 --> 01:24:28,204
[Vicki] Everybody take their
seasickness pills? Come on, guys.

1424
01:24:28,245 --> 01:24:29,906
[Gary] Wow. Should we tell?

1425
01:24:29,947 --> 01:24:33,041
I think I remember where they go.

1426
01:24:33,684 --> 01:24:35,174
Yeah.

1427
01:24:36,520 --> 01:24:39,546
All right, we got the bags stowed below.
Seasickness pills

1428
01:24:39,590 --> 01:24:41,990
have been distributed.
Let's just get one bon voyage photo,

1429
01:24:42,026 --> 01:24:44,392
and then
we're ready to shove off, folks.

1430
01:24:44,428 --> 01:24:46,658
All right,
everyone get together for a picture.

1431
01:24:46,697 --> 01:24:48,631
Big smiles. Let's look real happy.

1432
01:24:48,666 --> 01:24:50,930
- [Charlie] Today, Craig.
- [Vicki] Got it?

1433
01:24:50,968 --> 01:24:53,732
Maybe not quite so happy.

1434
01:24:54,905 --> 01:24:55,929
[camera clicks]

1435
01:24:55,973 --> 01:24:58,066
[Pete Townshend:
Let My Love Open the Door]