1
00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:57,470
(♪ SYD STRAW: "Que Sera, Sera")

2
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:02,720
♪ When I was just a little girl

3
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:08,220
♪ I asked my mother, what will I be?

4
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,600
♪ Will I be pretty?

5
00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:13,650
♪ Will I be rich?

6
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:18,030
♪ Here's what she said to me

7
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♪ Que sera, sera

8
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:27,530
♪ Whatever will be, will be

9
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:32,250
♪ The future's not ours to see

10
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,710
♪ Que sera, sera

11
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♪ What will be, will be

12
00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:48,810
♪ When I was just a child in school

13
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:51,310
♪ I asked my teacher

14
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♪ What should I try?

15
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♪ Should I paint pictures?

16
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♪ Should I sing songs?

17
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♪ This was her wise reply

18
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,960
♪ Que sera, sera

19
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,880
♪ Whatever will be, will be

20
00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:18,380
♪ The future's not ours to see

21
00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:22,680
♪ Que sera, sera

22
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:31,140
♪ What will be, will be ♪

23
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Damn.

24
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It's your turn, Heather.

25
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,770
No, Heather. It's Heather's turn.

26
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,780
Heather.

27
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,950
(Sighs) Sorry, Heather.

28
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:54,290
♪ Que sera, sera

29
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:59,590
♪ Whatever will be, will be

30
00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:04,340
♪ The future's not ours to see

31
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:09,140
♪ Que sera, sera

32
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♪ What will be, will be

33
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♪ Que sera, sera ♪

34
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Ow.

35
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(Chuckling)

36
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,460
Dear Diary.

37
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:39,540
'Heather told me
she teaches people real life.

38
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,390
'She said, "Real life sucks losers dry.

39
00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:46,470
"'If you wanna fuck with the eagles,
you have to learn to fly."

40
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:51,060
'I said, "So, you teach people
how to spread their wings and fly?"

41
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'She said, "Yes."

42
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'I said, "You're beautiful."'

43
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God, come on, Veronica.

44
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,190
What is your damage, Heather?

45
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,610
Don't blame me, blame Heather.

46
00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:05,730
She told me to haul your ass
into the caff pronto.

47
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:07,280
Back me up, Heather.

48
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,030
She really wants to talk to you, Veronica.

49
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,620
OK, I'm going. Jesus Christ.

50
00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:25,250
(Veronica) Hello, Heather.

51
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,050
Veronica. Finally.

52
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:30,390
I got a note of Kurt Kelly's.

53
00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:32,060
I need you to forge a hot and horny,

54
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:35,020
but realistically low-key note
in Kurt's handwriting.

55
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,480
We'll slip it onto
Martha Dumptruck's lunch tray.

56
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,570
Shit, Heather. I don't have
anything against Martha Dunnstock.

57
00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:42,820
You don't have anything for her either.

58
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:44,940
Come on. It'll be very.

59
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:49,320
The note will give her shower nozzle
masturbation material for weeks.

60
00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:53,620
I'll think about it.

61
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,570
Don't think.

62
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:04,470
Veronica needs something to write on.
Bend over.

63
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,390
"Dear Martha, you're so sweet..."

64
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,850
I'm telling you, man,
it would so be righteous

65
00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:19,810
to be in a Veronica Sawyer-
Heather Chandler sandwich.

66
00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:21,600
Oh, hell, yes.

67
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:23,480
I wanna get a Heather
and put her on my johnson

68
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:25,950
and just spin her around
like a goddamn pinwheel!

69
00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:27,560
- (Chuckles)
- Punch it in.

70
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,690
(Peter) Westerburg feeds the world.
Come on, people.

71
00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:02,850
Give that leftover lunch money
to people who don't have lunches.

72
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,730
God, aren't they fed, yet?

73
00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,900
Do they even have
Thanksgiving in Africa?

74
00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:12,620
Oh, sure. Pilgrims, Indians, Tater Tots.

75
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,110
It's a real party continent.

76
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,330
Sawyer, guess what today is.

77
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:19,320
Ouch. Lunchtime poll?

78
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,290
- So, what's the question?
- Yeah, what's the question?

79
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,260
Goddamn, you were with me in study hall
when I thought of it.

80
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I forgot.

81
00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:31,220
Such a pillowcase.

82
00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:34,420
This wouldn't be that bizarro thing

83
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,390
you were babbling about over
the phone last night, would it?

84
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:38,930
(Heather 1) Of course it is.

85
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:45,390
I told Dennis if he gives me another
political topic, I'd spew burrito chunks.

86
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:55,320
- (Gasps)
- Oh, Veronica, I'm sorry.

87
00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:57,070
Betty Finn. Gosh.

88
00:06:57,620 --> 00:07:00,210
Sorry I couldn't make it
to your birthday party last month.

89
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:03,620
It's OK. Your mom said
you had a big date.

90
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:06,340
I think I'd probably miss
my own birthday for a date.

91
00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:08,380
- Don't say that.
- You know what?

92
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:12,670
I was looking around the other day,
and I dug up, uh, these old photographs.

93
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,260
(Chuckles)

94
00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:16,560
Oh. They're great.

95
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,430
- Come on, Veronica.
- I was talking to somebody!

96
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,770
(Slurps)

97
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,860
Great. Here comes Heather.

98
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,810
Oh, shit.

99
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,400
Hi, Courtney. Love your cardigan.

100
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:37,820
Thanks.
I just got it last night at The Limited.

101
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:41,240
Like, totally blew my allowance.
(Chuckles)

102
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,500
Check this out.

103
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,290
You win $5 million
from the Publisher Sweepstakes,

104
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:48,750
and the same day
that Big Ed guy gives you the check,

105
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:53,010
aliens land on the earth and say
they'll blow up the world in two days.

106
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:54,550
What do you do?

107
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,460
(Boy) That's easy.

108
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,260
I'd just slide that wad over to my father,

109
00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:02,730
because he is, like,
one of the top brokers in the state.

110
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:06,720
If I got that money,
I'd give it all to the homeless.

111
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,640
Every cent.

112
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,030
You're beautiful.

113
00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:16,700
If you're gonna openly be a bitch...

114
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,870
Heather, why can't we talk
to different kinds of people?

115
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,950
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

116
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,700
Do I look like Mother Teresa?

117
00:08:23,830 --> 00:08:26,830
If I did, I probably wouldn't mind
talking to the geek squad.

118
00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:29,250
(Spits)

119
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:32,000
Huh. Did you see that?

120
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:34,630
Heather number one
just looked right at me.

121
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:38,760
Does it not bother you that everybody
in this school thinks you're a piranha?

122
00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:40,220
Like I give a shit.

123
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:42,810
They all want me as a friend or a fuck.

124
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,770
I'm worshipped at Westerburg,
and I'm only a junior.

125
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,160
I can't believe this.

126
00:08:58,290 --> 00:09:00,870
We're going to a party
at Remington University tonight,

127
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,530
and we're brushing up
on our conversational skills

128
00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:05,250
with the scum of the school.

129
00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:10,380
- Hey.
- Hi.

130
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,210
So this is
what's called a lunchtime poll.

131
00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:18,340
You win $5 million
in the Publisher Sweepstakes.

132
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,310
And the same day that what's-his-face
gives you the cheque...

133
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,090
Aliens land on earth...

134
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,010
And say they're gonna
blow up the world in two days.

135
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:27,560
What are you gonna do with the money?

136
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:30,850
I'd go to Egypt. With a girl.

137
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,350
I'd use the money
for an end-of-the-world get-together.

138
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,150
I'd pay Madonna a million bucks
to sit on my face,

139
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,270
and have a ride like the Kentucky Derby.

140
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:42,450
That's gotta be the most
spooky-assed question I ever heard.

141
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:45,410
All right, this is important.
After taxes, I'll only be getting...

142
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,290
She should pay me, though.

143
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,500
You go to the zoo and get a lion,

144
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,040
and then, put a remote control bomb
up its butt.

145
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:54,790
Then there's social security, legal fees.

146
00:09:54,930 --> 00:09:58,890
You push the button on the bomb,
and you and the lion die like one.

147
00:10:00,430 --> 00:10:01,550
What?

148
00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:09,220
Oh, my God. Here we go.

149
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:16,690
(Gasps)

150
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,620
Oh.

151
00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:28,530
Oh, my God.

152
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,120
(Raucous laughter)

153
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:53,350
Hi, Veronica. Five keeps an infant alive.

154
00:10:57,530 --> 00:11:00,440
You wanted to be a member
of the most powerful clique in school.

155
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,570
If I wasn't already the head of it,
I'd want the same thing.

156
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:06,070
- (Scoffs)
- Come on, Veronica.

157
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,330
You used to have a sense of humour.

158
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,590
Veronica, could you
come back here a minute?

159
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,920
A true friend's work is never done.

160
00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:19,380
(Both) Gross.

161
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:23,760
Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.

162
00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:27,050
- You know, maybe you should see a doctor.
- Yeah, maybe.

163
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,140
Come on, Heather,
let's take another look at today's lunch.

164
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,830
God, Veronica, drool much?

165
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,280
His name's Jason Dean.

166
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,950
He's in my "American History".

167
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,340
Hello, Jason Dean.

168
00:12:05,930 --> 00:12:07,670
Greetings and salutations.

169
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,220
Are you a Heather?

170
00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:13,850
No. I'm a Veronica.

171
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:15,650
Sawyer.

172
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:20,060
This may seem
like a really stupid question.

173
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,310
There are no stupid questions.

174
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,660
You inherit $5 million.

175
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:30,370
The same day aliens land on the earth and
say they're gonna blow it up in two days.

176
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,620
What do you do?

177
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,620
Well, that's the stupidest question
I've ever heard.

178
00:12:39,130 --> 00:12:41,420
Who's that guy in the coat
think he is anyways?

179
00:12:41,550 --> 00:12:43,210
Bo Diddley? (Giggles)

180
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:45,680
Veronica's into his act, no doubt.

181
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,800
I don't know. Probably row out
to the middle of a lake somewhere.

182
00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:50,800
Bring along a bottle of tequila,

183
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,340
my sax and some Bach.

184
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:57,480
How very.

185
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,820
Come on, Veronica.

186
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:06,650
- Later.
- Definitely.

187
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:14,240
- Let's kick his ass.
- Shit, Ram. We're seniors, man.

188
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,450
We're too old
for kind of that kind of crap.

189
00:13:17,790 --> 00:13:19,330
Let's give him a good scare though.

190
00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:27,800
You gonna eat this?

191
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:31,590
What did your boyfriend say when you told
him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?

192
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,470
Answer him, dick.

193
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,220
Hey, Ram, doesn't this cafeteria
have a "no fags allowed" rule?

194
00:13:39,190 --> 00:13:43,430
They seem to have an open-door policy
for assholes though, don't they?

195
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,320
What did you say, dickhead?

196
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:50,820
(Sighs) I'll repeat myself.

197
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:52,320
(Gun cocks)

198
00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:53,540
(Both gasping)

199
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,200
God, they won't expel him.

200
00:13:57,330 --> 00:13:59,620
They'll just suspend him
for a week or something.

201
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:01,790
He used a real gun.

202
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,960
They should throw his ass in jail.

203
00:14:04,090 --> 00:14:06,170
(Veronica) No way. He used blanks.

204
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:09,170
All JD really did
was ruin two pairs of pants.

205
00:14:10,010 --> 00:14:11,420
Maybe not even that.

206
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,220
Can you bleach out urine stains?

207
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,260
- (Laughter)
- You seem pretty amused.

208
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,640
I thought you had given up
on high school guys.

209
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:21,060
Never say never.

210
00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:26,310
What are you gonna do, Heather?

211
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,110
Take the two shots or send me out?

212
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,280
(Scoffs)

213
00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:33,400
Did you have a brain tumour
for breakfast?

214
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,030
First you ask if you can be red,

215
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,320
knowing that I'm always red.

216
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,200
(Sighs) Shit.

217
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:47,760
It's your turn, Heather.

218
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,100
Easy shot, Heather.

219
00:14:55,810 --> 00:14:57,640
No way, no day.

220
00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:59,230
Give it up, girl.

221
00:15:08,150 --> 00:15:10,270
- Holy shit.
- God, that was incredible!

222
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,270
Whoo! (Chuckles)

223
00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:15,870
So tonight's the night.
Are you two excited?

224
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,070
I'm giving Veronica her shot.

225
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,370
Her first Remington party.

226
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:26,290
You blow it tonight, girl,
and it's keggers with kids all next year.

227
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:41,730
- Why?
- Why not?

228
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:44,720
Heather, your mother's here.

229
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,940
Come on, whoever wants a ride.

230
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,360
- Bye. Thank you.
- Bye-bye.

231
00:15:51,490 --> 00:15:53,200
- (Heather 1) Bye.
- (Mom) Bye, girls.

232
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:55,700
Hey, take a break, Veronica. Sit down.

233
00:15:57,700 --> 00:16:02,200
So, what was the first week
of, uh, spring vacation withdrawal like?

234
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,240
I don't know. It was OK, I guess.

235
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:07,210
Hey, kid, isn't the prom coming up?

236
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,840
I guess.

237
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,960
(Mom) Any contestants
worth mentioning?

238
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,930
(Clicks tongue) Maybe. There's
kind of a dark horse in the running.

239
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,550
Goddamn, will somebody tell me
why I read these spy novels?

240
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,980
Because you're an idiot.

241
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,430
Oh, yeah, that's it.

242
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,820
You two.

243
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:32,940
Great pâté, but I gotta motor
if I wanna be ready for that party tonight.

244
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:40,150
- (Heather 1) Corn nuts!
- BQ or plain?

245
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,700
BQ!

246
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:47,370
(Jason) You gonna pull
a Super Chug with that?

247
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,590
No, but if you're nice,
I'll let you buy me a slushie.

248
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,090
I see you know
your convenience speak pretty well.

249
00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:01,220
Yeah, well, uh,
I've been moved around all my life.

250
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,260
Dallas, Baton Rouge, Vegas.

251
00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:07,680
Sherwood, Ohio.

252
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,730
There's always been
a Snappy Snack Shack.

253
00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:12,900
Any town, any time,

254
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:16,740
pop a ham and cheese in the microwave,
and feast on a Turbo Dog.

255
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,160
Keeps me sane.

256
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:21,860
Really?

257
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,540
That thing you pulled in the caff today
was pretty severe.

258
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,920
Yeah, well, the extreme
always seems to make an impression.

259
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,970
Did you say a cherry or Coke slushie?

260
00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:41,380
I didn't.

261
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,760
Cherry.

262
00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:50,860
Great bike.

263
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:55,570
Yeah. Just a humble perk
from my dad's construction company.

264
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:59,980
Seen the commercial, right?
"Bringing every state to a higher state."

265
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,790
Wait a minute. Jason Dean,
your pop's Big Bud Dean Construction?

266
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,210
It must be rough moving place to place.

267
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,410
Well, everybody's life has got static.
Is your life perfect?

268
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,630
Oh, yeah. I'm on my way to a party
at Remington University.

269
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,090
- Hmm.
- (Horn honks)

270
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:18,840
(Horn honks)

271
00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:21,590
No, my life's not perfect.

272
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,180
I don't really like my friends.

273
00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:27,970
Yeah, I, uh... I don't really like
your friends, either.

274
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:33,400
It's just, like,
they're people I work with,

275
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,640
and our job is being popular and shit.

276
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,070
Maybe it's time to take a vacation.

277
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,820
(♪ Music blasting)

278
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,580
Hello, ladies.
Throw your coats on the floor.

279
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:57,210
- Uh, Veronica, this is Brad.
- Excellent.

280
00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,630
Did you girls bring
your partying slippers, huh?

281
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:01,920
Let's party.

282
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:04,550
She loves to party. (Chuckles)

283
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,680
(Chuckles)

284
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,970
(Veronica) 'Dear Diary, I want to kill,

285
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:15,400
'and you have to believe
it's for more than just selfish reasons.

286
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,490
'More than just a spoke
in my menstrual cycle.

287
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:19,980
'You have to believe me.'

288
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:24,400
It's so great to be able to talk to a girl
and not have to ask, "What's your major?"

289
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:25,780
I hate that.

290
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,800
So when you go to college,
what subjects do you think you'll study?

291
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,220
Come on, David.
Shouldn't we get back to the party?

292
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,510
We will.

293
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,920
It's just you're so hot tonight.

294
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,140
I can't control myself.

295
00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:04,440
(Veronica) 'Oh, Christ, I can't explain it,
but I'm allowed an understanding

296
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:08,950
'that my parents and these Remington
University assholes have chosen to ignore.

297
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,620
'I understand that I must stop Heather.'

298
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,880
(Mouths)

299
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:44,950
(Sniffs)

300
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,530
How's my little cheerleader, huh?

301
00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:55,870
Oh, I know everyone
at your high school isn't so uptight.

302
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,590
- Come on.
- C'mon, look, I don't feel so good, OK?

303
00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:00,830
Let's do it on the coats.
It'll be excellent, huh?

304
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,670
You know, I have a little prepared speech
I tell my suitor

305
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,010
when he wants more
than I'd like to give him.

306
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,550
"Gee, blank, I had a really nice..."

307
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,010
Save the speeches for Malcolm X.

308
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,340
(Exhales)

309
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,310
I just wanna get laid.

310
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,810
You don't deserve my fucking speech!

311
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,690
(Veronica) 'Betty Finn was a true friend,
and I sold her out

312
00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:26,690
'for a bunch of Swatch dogs
and Diet Coke heads'.

313
00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:29,690
'Killing Heather would be like offing
the "Wicked Witch of the West".

314
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,700
'Wait, East. West!
God, I sound like a fucking psycho.'

315
00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:48,380
What's your damage?
Brad says you're being a cooze.

316
00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:50,600
Heather, I feel really sick, like,
I'm gonna throw up.

317
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,090
So, can we please jam now?

318
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:54,180
No. Hell, no.

319
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,760
(Gasps, vomits)

320
00:21:58,270 --> 00:21:59,980
(Coughs, retches)

321
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:04,940
(Coughs, gasps)

322
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:08,940
(Veronica) 'Tomorrow I'll be kissing
her aerobicised ass,

323
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,530
'but tonight let me dream
of a world without Heather.

324
00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:15,080
'A world where I am free.'

325
00:22:21,670 --> 00:22:23,750
You stupid fuck.

326
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:26,290
You goddamn bitch.

327
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:28,590
You were nothing before you met me.

328
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,960
You were playing Barbies
with Betty Finn.

329
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,510
You were a Bluebird.
You were a Brownie.

330
00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:36,970
You were a Girl Scout cookie.

331
00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:39,890
I got you into a Remington party.

332
00:22:40,020 --> 00:22:41,310
What's my thanks?

333
00:22:41,980 --> 00:22:43,720
It's on the hallway carpet!

334
00:22:43,860 --> 00:22:45,650
I got paid in puke.

335
00:22:46,150 --> 00:22:49,070
Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.

336
00:22:50,910 --> 00:22:52,370
Monday morning you're history.

337
00:22:53,290 --> 00:22:54,900
I'll tell everyone about tonight.

338
00:22:55,370 --> 00:22:58,410
Transfer to Washington.
Transfer to Jefferson.

339
00:22:59,210 --> 00:23:02,420
No one at Westerburg's
gonna let you play their reindeer games.

340
00:23:05,460 --> 00:23:07,080
(Clattering)

341
00:23:08,050 --> 00:23:09,380
(Gasps)

342
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:11,500
(Chuckles)

343
00:23:12,180 --> 00:23:14,420
Dreadful etiquette. I apologise.

344
00:23:16,180 --> 00:23:17,260
That's OK.

345
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,810
I saw the croquet set up in the back.
You up for a match?

346
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,690
(Kissing)

347
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,940
(Jason) Hmm. Thank you.

348
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:40,450
That was my, uh,
first game of strip croquet.

349
00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:42,290
Oh, you're welcome.

350
00:23:42,420 --> 00:23:45,910
(Sighs) It's a lot more interesting
than just flinging off your clothes,

351
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,510
and boning away
on a neighbour's swing set.

352
00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:51,250
(Groans) I don't know. There's a lot
to be said for throwing off...

353
00:23:51,390 --> 00:23:52,800
- Ow!
- (Chuckles)

354
00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:56,470
(Sighs) What a night.

355
00:23:58,100 --> 00:23:59,430
What a life.

356
00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:02,900
They wanted to move me
into high school out of the sixth grade.

357
00:24:03,020 --> 00:24:05,860
- I was supposed to be this big genius.
- Hmm.

358
00:24:05,980 --> 00:24:07,470
Then we decided to chuck the idea

359
00:24:07,610 --> 00:24:10,400
because I'd have trouble
making friends, blah-blah-blah.

360
00:24:11,570 --> 00:24:13,690
(Sighs) Now blah-blah-blah is all I do.

361
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:16,820
I use my grand IQ
to decide what colour gloss to wear

362
00:24:16,950 --> 00:24:19,490
and how to hit three keggers
before curfew.

363
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,630
(Sighs) Heather Chandler is one bitch
that deserves to die.

364
00:24:33,260 --> 00:24:37,300
- Killing her won't solve anything.
- Hmm.

365
00:24:37,430 --> 00:24:40,340
I say we just grow up, be adults and die.

366
00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:45,180
- But before that...
- Hmm.

367
00:24:45,310 --> 00:24:48,100
...I'd love to see Heather Chandler
puke her guts out.

368
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,480
(Gasps) Trust me, she skips
the Saturday morning trip to Grandma's,

369
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,320
even when she's not hungover.

370
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,870
(Jason clears throat)

371
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,830
We'll just concoct ourselves
a little hangover cure

372
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,620
that'll, uh, induce her
to spew red, white and blue then.

373
00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:09,830
(She chuckles)

374
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,460
And what about, like, milk and orange juice?
What's the up-chuck factor on that?

375
00:25:13,590 --> 00:25:16,800
Yeah, I'm a no-rust-build-up man, myself.

376
00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:20,970
Don't be a dick. That stuff will kill her.

377
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:23,640
(Jason sighs)

378
00:25:28,070 --> 00:25:31,600
I know. We can cook up some soup,
and put it in a Coke.

379
00:25:32,860 --> 00:25:34,950
That's-that's pretty sick, hey?

380
00:25:35,070 --> 00:25:37,940
Now should it be chicken noodle,
or bean with bacon?

381
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,280
Put a lid on that stuff.
I say we go with big blue here.

382
00:25:43,580 --> 00:25:47,330
What are you talking about? She'd never
drink anything that looked like that, anyway.

383
00:25:48,090 --> 00:25:50,920
Yeah, so we'll, uh...

384
00:25:52,130 --> 00:25:54,970
...put it in this. She won't be able
to see what she's drinking.

385
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,430
Let me get a cup, jerk.

386
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,180
OK.

387
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,310
Milk and orange juice.

388
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,850
Hm. Maybe we could, like, cough up
a phlegm globber in it or something.

389
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,820
Mm.

390
00:26:13,690 --> 00:26:15,690
(Coughing, clearing throats)

391
00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:24,040
- No?
- Nothing.

392
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,870
Oh, well. Milk and orange juice
will do quite nicely.

393
00:26:28,330 --> 00:26:30,000
Hm. You're chicken.

394
00:26:31,550 --> 00:26:32,880
You're not funny.

395
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,100
I'm sorry.

396
00:26:57,910 --> 00:26:59,400
Uh, Veronica?

397
00:26:59,530 --> 00:27:01,320
- What?
- Uh...

398
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:04,440
Never mind. I'll-I'll carry the cup.

399
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:10,580
(Veronica) Morning, Heather.

400
00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:14,290
Veronica.

401
00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:16,840
And Jesse James.

402
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:18,630
<i>Quelle surprise.</i>

403
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,670
Hear about Veronica's affection
for regurgitation?

404
00:27:22,810 --> 00:27:25,800
Heather, I think last night we both said
a lot of stuff we didn't mean.

405
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,510
Did we? How the hell did you get in here?

406
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,860
Um... Veronica knew you'd have a hangover,

407
00:27:33,980 --> 00:27:36,150
so, uh, I whipped this up for you.

408
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,060
It's a family recipe.

409
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,360
What did you do?
Put a phlegm globber in it?

410
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,610
I'm not gonna drink that piss.

411
00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:45,980
I knew this stuff
would be too intense for her.

412
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,660
(Scoffs)

413
00:27:47,790 --> 00:27:49,280
Intense.

414
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:51,620
Grow up.

415
00:27:52,130 --> 00:27:54,330
You think I'll drink it
just because you call me chicken?

416
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,330
Just give me the cup, jerk.

417
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,090
(Gurgles)

418
00:28:12,270 --> 00:28:14,260
(Rasps)

419
00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:18,360
(Retches)

420
00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:21,140
(Coughs) Corn nuts.

421
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:22,690
(Gurgles)

422
00:28:29,910 --> 00:28:32,450
(Both gasp)

423
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,090
Oh, my God.

424
00:28:40,090 --> 00:28:41,500
I can't believe it.

425
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,760
I just killed my best friend.

426
00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:46,300
And your Worst enemy.

427
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,010
Same difference.

428
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:50,800
(Gasps)

429
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:56,600
Oh.

430
00:28:57,780 --> 00:28:59,440
What are we gonna tell the cops?

431
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,360
"Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge."

432
00:29:04,490 --> 00:29:05,860
(Sighs) The cops.

433
00:29:07,410 --> 00:29:09,240
I can't believe this is my life.

434
00:29:09,790 --> 00:29:11,620
- (He sighs)
- Oh, my God.

435
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:17,330
I'm gonna have to send my SAT scores
to San Quentin instead of Stanford.

436
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,080
- Uh...
- (She gasps)

437
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,300
All right, just a little freaked here.

438
00:29:24,970 --> 00:29:26,830
At least you got what you wanted,
you know?

439
00:29:27,970 --> 00:29:29,510
Got what I wanted?

440
00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:32,220
It is one thing to want
somebody out of your life,

441
00:29:32,350 --> 00:29:35,440
it is another thing to serve them
a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.

442
00:29:36,940 --> 00:29:38,480
- Uh...
- (Gasps)

443
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,230
(Mutters softly)

444
00:29:48,660 --> 00:29:49,700
Uh...

445
00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:52,780
(Sighs)

446
00:29:59,290 --> 00:30:00,330
Yeah.

447
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:04,460
All right, we-we-we did a murder,
and that's a crime.

448
00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,630
But, uh...

449
00:30:07,970 --> 00:30:10,210
...if this were like a suicide thing,
you know?

450
00:30:13,390 --> 00:30:14,800
Like a suicide thing?

451
00:30:15,310 --> 00:30:17,300
Yeah, yeah.

452
00:30:18,230 --> 00:30:22,020
I mean, uh, you can do Heather's
handwriting, as well as your own, right?

453
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:24,690
Right?

454
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:32,780
Yeah.

455
00:30:32,910 --> 00:30:34,240
All right.

456
00:30:36,210 --> 00:30:38,200
"You might think
what I've done is shocking."

457
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:39,870
Yeah.

458
00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:44,040
(Jason) Um...

459
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,250
"To me, though,
suicide is the natural answer

460
00:30:48,390 --> 00:30:50,840
"to the myriad of problems
life has given me."

461
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,220
That's good, but Heather
would never use the word "myriad".

462
00:30:55,730 --> 00:30:57,220
This is the last thing she'll ever write.

463
00:30:57,350 --> 00:31:00,970
She's gonna wanna cash in
on as many 50-cent words as possible.

464
00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:03,890
Yeah, but she missed "myriad"
on the vocab test two weeks ago.

465
00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:05,390
That only proves my point more.

466
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,990
The word is a badge
for her failures at school.

467
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:12,440
Oh. OK, you're probably right.

468
00:31:12,580 --> 00:31:13,660
Uh...

469
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:21,000
"People think just because
you're beautiful and popular,

470
00:31:21,460 --> 00:31:24,920
"life is easy and fun."

471
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,410
- Yeah.
- Uh...

472
00:31:27,670 --> 00:31:32,970
"No one understood I had feelings, too."

473
00:31:33,970 --> 00:31:35,130
- Huh?
- (Gasps)

474
00:31:35,810 --> 00:31:38,420
"I die knowing no one knew the real me."

475
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,140
- Huh.
- Hmm.

476
00:31:41,270 --> 00:31:42,600
(Sighs) That's good.

477
00:31:43,940 --> 00:31:45,400
Have you done this before?

478
00:31:50,070 --> 00:31:52,410
Any other principal
would take the same position.

479
00:31:52,530 --> 00:31:54,240
Keep things business as usual.

480
00:31:54,370 --> 00:31:56,740
Heather Chandler's
not your everyday suicide.

481
00:31:56,870 --> 00:31:59,530
- She was very popular.
- Come on, Paul.

482
00:31:59,670 --> 00:32:01,200
If I let the kids out before lunch,

483
00:32:01,330 --> 00:32:03,580
the sWitchboard
would light up like a Christmas tree.

484
00:32:03,710 --> 00:32:05,620
I must say I was impressed to see

485
00:32:05,750 --> 00:32:09,370
that she made proper use
of the word "myriad" in her suicide note.

486
00:32:09,510 --> 00:32:12,840
I find it profoundly disturbing

487
00:32:12,970 --> 00:32:16,050
that we're told of
the tragic destruction of youth,

488
00:32:16,890 --> 00:32:20,550
and all we can think to talk about
is adequate mourning times

489
00:32:20,690 --> 00:32:22,390
and misused vocabulary words?

490
00:32:22,850 --> 00:32:24,270
- Oh, Christ!
- (They gasp)

491
00:32:24,940 --> 00:32:27,520
We must revel in this revealing moment!

492
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,240
Look, I suggest
that we get everybody together,

493
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:34,190
both students and teachers,
in the cafeteria,

494
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,660
and just talk and feel.

495
00:32:38,580 --> 00:32:39,660
Together.

496
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:43,070
Thank you, Ms Fleming.
You call me when the shuttle lands.

497
00:32:43,790 --> 00:32:46,380
Now, is this Heather the... cheerleader?

498
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:48,540
(Paul) That would be
Heather McNamara.

499
00:32:48,670 --> 00:32:50,130
Oh, damn.

500
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:52,720
I'd be willing to go half a day
for a cheerleader.

501
00:32:53,470 --> 00:32:55,510
God, it's unfair.

502
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,470
It's just so unfair.

503
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,340
We should get off a whole week,
not just an hour.

504
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:01,640
Write the school board.

505
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,140
Watch it, Heather.
You might be digesting food there.

506
00:33:05,270 --> 00:33:08,110
- Yeah, where is your urge to purge?
- Fuck it.

507
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:09,850
(Heather 2) Look.

508
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,360
Heather left behind one of her Swatches.

509
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,370
She'd want you to have it.

510
00:33:20,750 --> 00:33:23,030
She always said
you couldn't accessorise for shit.

511
00:33:24,580 --> 00:33:26,320
Sorry to hear about your friend.

512
00:33:26,460 --> 00:33:28,790
I thought she was
your usual airhead bitch.

513
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:31,120
Guess I was wrong.

514
00:33:31,260 --> 00:33:32,670
We all were.

515
00:33:36,010 --> 00:33:37,220
(Heather 3) What a waste.

516
00:33:38,930 --> 00:33:40,220
Oh, the humanity.

517
00:33:48,020 --> 00:33:49,100
(Heather 2) Veronica?

518
00:33:49,650 --> 00:33:51,270
(Tap squeaks)

519
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:53,650
(Water running)

520
00:33:57,570 --> 00:34:00,030
Veronica, what are you doing?

521
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,670
I'm just so thrilled... (Chuckles)

522
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,550
...to finally have an example
of the profound sensitivity

523
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,590
of which a human animal is capable.

524
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,880
That example is Heather Chandler.

525
00:34:26,020 --> 00:34:28,810
- I have her note.
- (Students) Ooh!

526
00:34:29,310 --> 00:34:32,060
Now, I'm gonna pass this note
around the class,

527
00:34:32,190 --> 00:34:35,150
so you can all feel
its pathetic beauty for yourself.

528
00:34:37,570 --> 00:34:41,070
And while we do this, I think
it's a good opportunity to share the...

529
00:34:42,620 --> 00:34:46,080
...feelings that this suicide
has spurred in all of us.

530
00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:48,620
Now, who would like to begin?

531
00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:50,960
I heard it was really gnarly.

532
00:34:51,090 --> 00:34:54,580
She sucked down a bowl
of multi-purpose deodorising disinfectant,

533
00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:56,050
and then smash!

534
00:34:56,170 --> 00:34:59,290
Uh, now, Tracy, let's not rehash
the coroner's report.

535
00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:01,220
Let's talk emotions.

536
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,710
Um, Heather and I used to go out,

537
00:35:05,350 --> 00:35:06,810
but she said I was boring.

538
00:35:07,270 --> 00:35:09,350
But now I realise I really wasn't boring.

539
00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:12,560
It's just that she was
dissatisfied with her life.

540
00:35:15,820 --> 00:35:17,690
That's very good, Peter.

541
00:35:20,370 --> 00:35:22,200
(Chuckles)

542
00:35:22,330 --> 00:35:24,410
(Sobs)

543
00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:27,280
Are we gonna be tested on this?

544
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,990
'We were the same size, so we could borrow
each other's clothes and mix it up.

545
00:35:33,130 --> 00:35:34,370
'It was fun.'

546
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:38,970
'I remember I won her a rhino
at the 4-H Club.'

547
00:35:39,090 --> 00:35:40,670
You're an asshole. Mute him.

548
00:35:42,350 --> 00:35:43,880
'You know, we liked the same clothes.'

549
00:35:44,010 --> 00:35:46,550
(Veronica) Heather, how many networks
did you run to?

550
00:35:47,270 --> 00:35:49,050
'It's just not gonna be the same
without her.'

551
00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:52,400
What are you talking about?
You hated her. She hated you.

552
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,190
'Every English class
I looked forward to seeing her.'

553
00:35:56,190 --> 00:35:58,900
Heather Chandler's
more popular than ever now.

554
00:36:00,910 --> 00:36:03,240
- Scary stuff.
- Yeah.

555
00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:05,230
(Indistinct chatter)

556
00:36:05,370 --> 00:36:07,490
Hey, son, I didn't hear you come in.

557
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,030
Hey, dad, how was work today?

558
00:36:13,540 --> 00:36:14,750
(Machine beeps)

559
00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:16,620
It was miserable.

560
00:36:17,510 --> 00:36:19,340
Some damn tribe of withered old bitches

561
00:36:19,470 --> 00:36:22,300
doesn't want us to terminate
that fleabag hotel.

562
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,180
Huh. All because Glen Miller and his band
once took a shit there.

563
00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:28,420
- Hm.
- Just like Kansas.

564
00:36:28,930 --> 00:36:30,850
Do you remember fucking Kansas?

565
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,970
Yeah, that was the one
with the wheat, right?

566
00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:36,890
Yeah. Save the Memorial Oak Tree Society.

567
00:36:37,030 --> 00:36:39,640
(Chuckles) Showed those fucks.

568
00:36:39,780 --> 00:36:43,320
Yeah, 30 of those 4th July fireworks
attached to the trunk.

569
00:36:44,030 --> 00:36:45,820
Arraigned, but acquitted.

570
00:36:45,950 --> 00:36:47,240
Gosh, pop.

571
00:36:47,370 --> 00:36:49,700
I almost forgot
to introduce my girlfriend.

572
00:36:49,830 --> 00:36:52,910
Oh. Veronica, this is my dad.

573
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,000
- Dad, Veronica.
- Hi.

574
00:36:57,420 --> 00:36:59,910
Son, why don't you ask
your little friend to stay for dinner?

575
00:37:01,590 --> 00:37:05,590
I can't. My mom's making
my favourite meal tonight. Spaghetti.

576
00:37:06,180 --> 00:37:08,220
- Lots of oregano.
- How nice.

577
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:13,430
The last time I saw my mom she was waving
from a library window in Texas.

578
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,140
All right, dad?

579
00:37:16,730 --> 00:37:18,720
- Right...
- (Machine beeps, stops)

580
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,110
- ...son.
- (Chuckles)

581
00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:23,900
Right.

582
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,030
Take a break, Veronica. Sit down.

583
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,320
So, what was the first day
after Heather's suicide like?

584
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,660
Well, it was OK, I guess.

585
00:37:39,050 --> 00:37:40,380
(Mom) Terrible thing.

586
00:37:41,510 --> 00:37:44,670
So, will we get to meet
this dark horse prom contender?

587
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:46,920
Maybe.

588
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,970
Goddamn, will somebody tell me
why I smoke these damn things?

589
00:37:52,060 --> 00:37:53,340
'Cos you're an idiot.

590
00:37:55,060 --> 00:37:56,270
Oh, yeah. That's it.

591
00:37:56,980 --> 00:37:58,270
You two.

592
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:02,520
Great pâté, but I'm gonna have to motor
if wanna be ready for that funeral.

593
00:38:05,780 --> 00:38:07,770
(♪ Organ music playing)

594
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:09,870
(Priest) I blame not Heather,

595
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:15,490
but rather a society that tells its youth

596
00:38:15,620 --> 00:38:20,740
that the answers can be found
in the MTV video games.

597
00:38:22,170 --> 00:38:26,420
We must pray that the other teenagers
of Sherwood, Ohio,

598
00:38:26,550 --> 00:38:29,920
know the name of that righteous dude,

599
00:38:30,060 --> 00:38:32,470
who can solve their problems.

600
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,930
It's Jesus Christ and he's in the book.

601
00:38:38,810 --> 00:38:40,300
(Congregation) Amen.

602
00:38:46,030 --> 00:38:47,990
(Heather 2)
'Oh, God, this is a tragic thing

603
00:38:48,110 --> 00:38:51,200
'and sometimes I have a hard time
dealing with it and stuff.

604
00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:53,160
'Please send Heather
to heaven and all that.'

605
00:38:53,660 --> 00:38:56,410
(Peter) 'Dear God, please make sure
this never happens to me,

606
00:38:56,540 --> 00:38:58,750
'cos I don't think I can handle suicide.

607
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,830
'Fast early acceptance
into an Ivy League school.

608
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:02,950
'Please let it be Harvard. Amen.'

609
00:39:03,460 --> 00:39:07,830
(Ram) 'Jesus God in heaven,
why did you have to kill such hot snatch?

610
00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:09,680
'Yeah. It's a joke, man.

611
00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:12,340
'Jeez, people are so serious.

612
00:39:12,470 --> 00:39:14,210
'Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven,

613
00:39:14,350 --> 00:39:17,430
'pray for all us sinners
so we don't get caught.

614
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:18,890
'Another joke, man.'

615
00:39:19,850 --> 00:39:22,810
(Heather 3) 'I prayed for the death
of Heather Chandler many times.

616
00:39:22,940 --> 00:39:25,730
'I felt bad every time I did it,
but I kept doing it anyway.

617
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:28,650
'Now I know you understood everything.

618
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,020
'Praise Jesus. Hallelujah.'

619
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,280
(Veronica) 'Hi. I'm sorry.

620
00:39:35,410 --> 00:39:38,280
'Technically,
I did not kill Heather Chandler,

621
00:39:38,420 --> 00:39:40,280
'but, hey, who am I trying to kid, right?

622
00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:44,120
'I just want my high school
to be a nice place.

623
00:39:45,010 --> 00:39:46,040
'Amen.

624
00:39:47,090 --> 00:39:48,380
'Did that sound bitchy?'

625
00:39:53,350 --> 00:39:56,460
Veronica... what are you doing tonight?

626
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,470
I don't knoW. Mourning.

627
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,890
Maybe watch some TV. Why?

628
00:40:03,770 --> 00:40:06,440
Well, Ram asked me out tonight,

629
00:40:07,110 --> 00:40:09,270
but he wants to double with Kurt,

630
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,770
and Kurt doesn't have a date.

631
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:15,070
(Sighs) Heather,
I have something going with JD.

632
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,040
Please, Veronica.
Put Billy the Kid on hold tonight.

633
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,370
I'll be your best friend.

634
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,420
So we on tonight, man, or what?

635
00:40:26,630 --> 00:40:27,710
I don't know.

636
00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:30,620
I still got to talk to Heather, dude.

637
00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:32,550
Weird funeral, huh?

638
00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:36,760
That pudwapper just stepped on my foot.

639
00:40:36,890 --> 00:40:38,800
- Let's kick his ass.
- Cool off.

640
00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:42,350
- We're seniors.
- Goddamn geek!

641
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:44,890
Ah, well.

642
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,190
Sit and spin. (Chuckles)

643
00:40:47,650 --> 00:40:48,770
That little prick.

644
00:40:50,530 --> 00:40:52,360
(Boys groaning)

645
00:40:56,370 --> 00:40:57,950
Oh! (Grunts)

646
00:41:01,540 --> 00:41:03,910
You piece of shit fag.
You like to suck big dicks?

647
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,210
- Cut it out.
- Say, "I like to suck big dicks."

648
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:09,290
Leave him alone, Ram.

649
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:11,920
(Boy) Ow.

650
00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:14,170
Say it.

651
00:41:17,510 --> 00:41:18,550
Say it!

652
00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:20,220
OK, OK.

653
00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:24,640
You like to suck big dicks. Ow!

654
00:41:24,770 --> 00:41:25,980
(Groans) Ow!

655
00:41:26,980 --> 00:41:28,770
(Groans)

656
00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:30,810
I like to suck big dicks.

657
00:41:30,940 --> 00:41:33,860
Oh, hmm! Hmm!

658
00:41:33,990 --> 00:41:36,650
I can't get enough of 'em.
Are you satisfied?

659
00:41:36,780 --> 00:41:40,900
Don't worry. Ram's been so sweet lately,
consoling me and stuff.

660
00:41:41,660 --> 00:41:43,000
It'll be really very.

661
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,120
Promise.

662
00:41:45,750 --> 00:41:47,960
OK, just as long as
it won't be one of those nights

663
00:41:48,090 --> 00:41:51,580
where they get shit-faced,
and take us to a pasture to tip cows.

664
00:41:52,630 --> 00:41:55,050
(Cows mooing, laughter)

665
00:41:58,930 --> 00:42:01,390
- Is it sleeping, dude?
- I think so, man.

666
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:02,630
(Laughter)

667
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:04,260
- Shh!
- (Mooing)

668
00:42:04,810 --> 00:42:05,850
Come here.

669
00:42:06,310 --> 00:42:09,060
Oh, shit.
Cow tipping is the fucking greatest!

670
00:42:09,190 --> 00:42:10,730
(Chuckles) Punch it in.

671
00:42:11,610 --> 00:42:12,940
- Ow!
- (Laughing)

672
00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:16,360
(Ram) Shit. OK, on the count
of three, guy.

673
00:42:17,990 --> 00:42:21,610
(Both) One. Two. Three.

674
00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:24,580
- (Cow mooing)
- (Raucous laughter)

675
00:42:31,550 --> 00:42:33,160
When I get that feeling,

676
00:42:33,670 --> 00:42:35,540
I need sexual healing.

677
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,260
Yeah, right, asshole.

678
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:45,970
(Jason) What is this shit?

679
00:42:52,650 --> 00:42:54,360
Doing a favour for Heather.

680
00:42:55,070 --> 00:42:57,940
Double date. I tried to tell you
at the funeral, but you rode off.

681
00:42:58,620 --> 00:43:00,030
Another fucking Heather.

682
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,240
(Sighs) I'm sorry.

683
00:43:04,370 --> 00:43:07,200
I'm, uh, just feeling
a little superior tonight.

684
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,830
Seven schools in seven states,

685
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,790
and the only thing different
is my locker combination.

686
00:43:17,340 --> 00:43:18,630
Our love is God.

687
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,430
Let's go get a slushie.

688
00:43:32,820 --> 00:43:34,980
I'm not belittling
the foodless fund, Peter.

689
00:43:35,110 --> 00:43:37,400
It's just w-we're talking
teen suicide here.

690
00:43:37,530 --> 00:43:42,610
The number one song in America today
is "Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It" by Big Fun.

691
00:43:42,740 --> 00:43:45,330
Good Jesus, man, Westerburg
finally got one of these things,

692
00:43:45,450 --> 00:43:46,690
and I'm not gonna blow it.

693
00:43:46,830 --> 00:43:50,700
Great. So Heather gets the front page and
I get crammed in by the Taco Bell coupon.

694
00:43:52,130 --> 00:43:56,840
Hi, guys. I came to check up
on this week's lunchtime poll topic.

695
00:43:56,970 --> 00:43:59,210
Hey, don't worry about it, Veronica.
Sit down, huh?

696
00:44:00,010 --> 00:44:03,800
Th-that funeral yesterday
must have really been rough, huh?

697
00:44:04,890 --> 00:44:07,260
Oh, yeah, yeah. (Clears throat)

698
00:44:07,390 --> 00:44:11,230
W-we were wondering
if you had any poems, artwork

699
00:44:11,350 --> 00:44:14,310
that Heather did that we can put in
the Heather Chandler yearbook spread?

700
00:44:15,020 --> 00:44:17,560
- The what?
- Oh, but, take a look.

701
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:21,650
It's a two-page layout with her
suicide note right up here in the corner.

702
00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:26,320
- (Sighs)
- It's more tasteful than it sounds.

703
00:44:27,750 --> 00:44:30,660
I don't know, Dennis.
This stuff leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

704
00:44:31,250 --> 00:44:34,210
Like last night, Veronica? (Chuckles)

705
00:44:37,050 --> 00:44:38,250
Excuse me?

706
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:39,790
I don't get it.

707
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:41,380
Oh, you did last night.

708
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,800
Kurt told us of your little date.

709
00:44:43,930 --> 00:44:47,670
Yeah, and? I left him drunk,
and flailing in cow shit.

710
00:44:47,810 --> 00:44:50,420
Well, I don't know.
He was really detailed.

711
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:51,890
- (Chuckles)
- Shh.

712
00:44:52,020 --> 00:44:53,890
- Shut up, Courtney.
- No, don't shut up.

713
00:44:54,020 --> 00:44:56,060
I'd like to knoW exactly what I did.

714
00:44:56,190 --> 00:44:58,350
- (Scoffs)
- Come on, Veronica.

715
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,230
I'll show you the lunchtime poll topic.

716
00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:03,110
(Both chuckling)

717
00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:05,280
What the fuck?

718
00:45:05,410 --> 00:45:08,450
OK, I rarely listen to Neanderthals
like Kurt Kelly,

719
00:45:08,580 --> 00:45:10,160
but he said that he and Ram

720
00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:12,780
had a nice little sword fight
in your mouth last night.

721
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,370
You know what I mean, hm?

722
00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:17,120
- Eew!
- (Clicks tongue)

723
00:45:17,250 --> 00:45:18,870
That son of a bitch!

724
00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,250
Hi, Kurt?

725
00:45:22,380 --> 00:45:24,220
Hi. This is Veronica Sawyer.

726
00:45:25,300 --> 00:45:27,340
I didn't expect to be calling, either.

727
00:45:27,470 --> 00:45:29,430
I guess my emotions took over.

728
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:34,090
I was wondering if you wanted those things
you've been saying to really happen.

729
00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:38,310
It's always been a fantasy of mine
to have two guys at once.

730
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,480
Oh, sure,
you can write to Penthouse Forum.

731
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:46,030
Yeah, in the woods behind the school.

732
00:45:46,700 --> 00:45:48,030
At dawn.

733
00:45:48,660 --> 00:45:50,030
Don't forget Ram.

734
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:53,950
- (Phone line cut off)
- (Scoffs)

735
00:45:58,210 --> 00:46:00,370
I don't get the point of me
writing a suicide note

736
00:46:00,510 --> 00:46:02,540
when we're gonna
be shooting them with blanks.

737
00:46:03,380 --> 00:46:05,590
We're not gonna be using
blanks this time.

738
00:46:07,850 --> 00:46:09,510
You can't be serious?

739
00:46:10,060 --> 00:46:11,260
I am. (Chuckles)

740
00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:14,680
Listen, my Bonnie and Clyde days are over.

741
00:46:14,810 --> 00:46:16,300
Wait a second, wait a second.

742
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,050
Do you take German?

743
00:46:18,190 --> 00:46:19,520
French.

744
00:46:19,650 --> 00:46:22,140
All right. These are Ich Lüge bullets.

745
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,520
My grandfather snared
a shitload of them back in WWII.

746
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:27,990
They're like tranquillisers,

747
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,780
only they break the skin's surface enough
to cause a little blood,

748
00:46:31,910 --> 00:46:33,240
but no real damage.

749
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,370
So it looks like the person's
been shot and killed,

750
00:46:36,830 --> 00:46:39,750
and really they're just lying there
unconscious and bleeding?

751
00:46:40,670 --> 00:46:42,210
- Oh.
- Right.

752
00:46:43,970 --> 00:46:45,830
See, we shoot Kurt and Ram,

753
00:46:45,970 --> 00:46:47,670
make it look like they shot each other,

754
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,670
and by the time
they regain consciousness,

755
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,970
they'll be the laughing stock
of the whole school.

756
00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:54,470
Uh, the note's the punch line.

757
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,010
How'd that turn out?

758
00:46:56,140 --> 00:46:59,310
First tell me the similarity
is not incredible.

759
00:47:00,690 --> 00:47:02,480
It's incredible similarity.

760
00:47:02,610 --> 00:47:03,640
Mm.

761
00:47:05,070 --> 00:47:06,360
OK (Clears throat)

762
00:47:08,610 --> 00:47:12,530
"Ram and I died the day we realised
we could never reveal our forbidden love

763
00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:15,030
"to an uncaring
and un-understanding world.

764
00:47:15,580 --> 00:47:19,200
"The joy we shared in each other's arms
was greater than any touchdown,

765
00:47:19,330 --> 00:47:23,920
"yet, we were forced to live the lie
of sexist, beer-guzzling, jock assholes."

766
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:26,000
That's perfect.

767
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,680
Uh, let's take a look
at some of the homosexual artefacts

768
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:32,920
I dug up to plant at the scene.

769
00:47:34,470 --> 00:47:35,590
All right.

770
00:47:36,060 --> 00:47:37,920
An issue of Stud Puppy.

771
00:47:38,060 --> 00:47:39,770
- It's great!
- (Chuckles)

772
00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:41,260
A candy dish.

773
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,020
A Joan Crawford postcard.

774
00:47:44,900 --> 00:47:46,110
(Veronica) Good.

775
00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:47,820
Some, uh, mascara.

776
00:47:49,820 --> 00:47:52,910
All right, now,
here's the one <i>perfecto</i> thing I picked up.

777
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:55,240
Mineral water.

778
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,780
Oh, come on, a lot of people
drink mineral water.

779
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,330
It's come a long way.

780
00:48:00,460 --> 00:48:01,790
Yeah, but this is Ohio.

781
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:05,660
If you don't have a brewski in your hand,
you might as well be wearing a dress.

782
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,330
Oh, you're so smart.

783
00:48:18,430 --> 00:48:19,470
(Kurt) Hi, Veronica.

784
00:48:20,900 --> 00:48:22,140
Hi, guys.

785
00:48:24,690 --> 00:48:25,930
Glad you could make it.

786
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:36,900
So should I just whip it out or...?

787
00:48:37,450 --> 00:48:40,370
Well, I-I-I've made a circle
on each side of the clearing.

788
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,540
Ram, you come over here.

789
00:48:44,380 --> 00:48:45,460
Kurt...

790
00:48:47,170 --> 00:48:50,080
When you get to the circle, strip.

791
00:48:51,260 --> 00:48:52,380
What about you?

792
00:48:53,010 --> 00:48:55,800
I was kinda hoping
you could rip my clothes off me, sport.

793
00:48:57,310 --> 00:48:59,390
Oh... good idea.

794
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,130
(Exhales)

795
00:49:06,730 --> 00:49:07,810
(Exhales)

796
00:49:08,780 --> 00:49:09,890
OK.

797
00:49:10,700 --> 00:49:11,780
Count of three, guys.

798
00:49:14,030 --> 00:49:15,150
One.

799
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:19,280
Two.

800
00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:22,360
- (Gun cocks)
- Three.

801
00:49:22,500 --> 00:49:23,990
- (Gunshots)
- (Guffaws)

802
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,330
(Screams)

803
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:28,370
You missed him completely?

804
00:49:28,500 --> 00:49:30,460
Yeah, but don't worry.
It was worth it to see the look...

805
00:49:30,970 --> 00:49:33,210
All right, don't move.
I'll, uh, I'll get him back.

806
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,750
- Ha-ha!
- Oh, fuck!

807
00:50:39,410 --> 00:50:41,370
- (Whispers) No.
- Now!

808
00:50:47,830 --> 00:50:49,240
(Gasps)

809
00:50:52,510 --> 00:50:54,540
Hey, I heard it that time.

810
00:50:54,670 --> 00:50:56,880
- What?
- Another gunshot from the woods.

811
00:50:57,010 --> 00:50:58,880
Oh, shit. Let's roll!

812
00:50:59,430 --> 00:51:01,170
Kurt doesn't look too good.

813
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,390
Just remember he's left-handed.

814
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,630
(Policeman)
Keep going till you hit the clearing.

815
00:51:06,890 --> 00:51:07,930
(Jason) Come on.

816
00:51:12,940 --> 00:51:15,310
- Mother of shit!
- Call in.

817
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,860
(Rustling)

818
00:51:16,990 --> 00:51:18,730
Hey, I heard something out there.

819
00:51:20,030 --> 00:51:21,190
I'm checking it out.

820
00:51:22,030 --> 00:51:23,700
Yeah, this is, uh, Officer McCord.

821
00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:27,370
I've got two dead bodies in the woods
behind Westerburg High.

822
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,190
(Groans)

823
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:04,610
(Pants)

824
00:52:13,630 --> 00:52:16,090
- (Radio crackles)
- (McCord) 'Milner, can you hear me?

825
00:52:16,210 --> 00:52:18,130
- 'What's going down?'
- Uh, yeah, yeah.

826
00:52:19,430 --> 00:52:21,210
I think what I heard was a bunny rabbit.

827
00:52:21,340 --> 00:52:24,680
All I've got here is a couple of kids
making out in a station wagon.

828
00:52:24,810 --> 00:52:27,920
- 'Should I pry them apart?'
- Oh, no. Forget it.

829
00:52:28,060 --> 00:52:30,520
- I got all the answers back here.
- (Radio crackles)

830
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:31,810
'Hey...'

831
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,390
Are they naked?

832
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,530
Yeah, so, uh, what's the deal?

833
00:52:48,660 --> 00:52:50,320
Suicide. Double-suicide.

834
00:52:50,460 --> 00:52:51,660
They shot each other.

835
00:52:52,710 --> 00:52:54,420
Hey, that's Kurt Kelly.

836
00:52:54,540 --> 00:52:56,750
Yeah, and the line-backer,
Ram Sweeney.

837
00:52:58,710 --> 00:53:02,330
(Exhales) My God, suicide. Why?

838
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,630
Does this answer your question?

839
00:53:07,010 --> 00:53:08,930
Oh, man. They were fags.

840
00:53:09,730 --> 00:53:11,060
Listen up.

841
00:53:11,190 --> 00:53:13,970
"We realised we could never
reveal our forbidden love

842
00:53:14,100 --> 00:53:17,100
"to an uncaring
and un-understanding world."

843
00:53:18,150 --> 00:53:19,810
Jesus H. Christ!

844
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,730
The quarterback
buggering the line-backer.

845
00:53:23,570 --> 00:53:25,230
(Sighs) What a waste.

846
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:27,490
Oh, the humanity.

847
00:53:48,060 --> 00:53:49,340
But...

848
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:52,890
(Gasps)

849
00:53:57,270 --> 00:53:58,350
(Clicks)

850
00:54:00,030 --> 00:54:02,980
- Hm.
- So we killed them, didn't we?

851
00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:06,200
Yeah. Of course.

852
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:08,480
(Exhales)

853
00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:09,980
(Sighs)

854
00:54:10,870 --> 00:54:11,990
(Lighter clicks)

855
00:54:15,420 --> 00:54:17,580
(Sighs, scoffs)

856
00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:21,790
(Screams)

857
00:54:26,140 --> 00:54:27,630
(Yelps)

858
00:54:31,470 --> 00:54:34,590
(Sighs) Ich Lüge bullets...
I'm such an idiot!

859
00:54:37,860 --> 00:54:41,440
Look, you believed it
because you wanted to believe it.

860
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:46,240
Your true feelings
were too gross and icky for you to face.

861
00:54:47,990 --> 00:54:50,650
I did not want them dead!

862
00:54:51,950 --> 00:54:55,160
- (Giggles) You did, too.
- I did not!

863
00:54:55,710 --> 00:54:57,160
- Did, too.
- I did not!

864
00:54:57,290 --> 00:54:58,780
- Did, too.
- I did not!

865
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,330
- Did, too.
- Did not!

866
00:55:00,460 --> 00:55:02,120
- Did, too!
- Did not! Did not!

867
00:55:02,250 --> 00:55:03,960
Shut up! I did not want them dead!

868
00:55:04,090 --> 00:55:06,830
- Come on, you did. You're just...
- ♪ Mary had a little lamb, little lamb... ♪

869
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:09,330
- I know what you...
- (Shouts) ♪ Mary had a little lamb ♪

870
00:55:09,470 --> 00:55:11,340
- (Jason) Yes, you did.
- (Shouts) I did not!

871
00:55:11,470 --> 00:55:13,460
(Chuckles) Young love!

872
00:55:14,430 --> 00:55:17,430
Did you hear school's cancelled today
because Kurt and Ram killed themselves

873
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:19,930
in a repressed homosexual suicide pact?

874
00:55:20,060 --> 00:55:21,230
No way.

875
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:25,520
God!

876
00:55:26,570 --> 00:55:29,900
- (Sighs)
- The football season is over, Veronica.

877
00:55:31,030 --> 00:55:33,400
Kurt and Ram
had nothing to offer the school,

878
00:55:33,540 --> 00:55:35,700
but date rapes and AIDS jokes.

879
00:55:37,290 --> 00:55:39,160
(Sighs) Sure.

880
00:55:40,750 --> 00:55:43,330
Can we make an ice run
before the funeral?

881
00:55:48,970 --> 00:55:50,250
(♪ Organ music playing)

882
00:55:50,390 --> 00:55:52,500
If there's any way
you can hear me, Kurt buddy.

883
00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:58,760
I don't care
that you really were some... pansy.

884
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,690
You're my own flesh and blood,
and you made me proud.

885
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:10,070
My son's a homosexual and I love him.

886
00:56:12,490 --> 00:56:14,150
(Sobs) I love my dead, gay son.

887
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:19,700
How do you think he'd react to a son
that had a limp wrist with a pulse?

888
00:56:19,830 --> 00:56:21,540
(Snorts, chuckles)

889
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:38,220
(Veronica) 'Dear Diary,

890
00:56:38,350 --> 00:56:41,560
'my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

891
00:56:42,270 --> 00:56:44,730
'The most popular people
in school are dead.

892
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:49,270
'Everybody's sad,
but it's a weird kind of sad.

893
00:56:50,070 --> 00:56:55,280
'Suicide gave Heather depth,
Kurt a soul, Ram a brain.

894
00:56:56,410 --> 00:56:58,070
'I don't know what it's given me but,

895
00:56:58,750 --> 00:57:01,780
'I've got no control over myself
when I'm with JD.

896
00:57:02,460 --> 00:57:05,170
'(Scoffs)
Are we going to prom or to hell?'

897
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:11,130
Now, it seems we were
in a similar position on Monday

898
00:57:11,260 --> 00:57:12,720
when I thoughtfully suggested

899
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:17,180
we get together for an unadulterated
emotional outpouring, but no.

900
00:57:18,270 --> 00:57:20,470
You took this as an opportunity

901
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:23,440
to play yet another round
of let's laugh at the hippy.

902
00:57:24,150 --> 00:57:26,390
- Pauline, if you want...
- Shut up, Paul.

903
00:57:27,230 --> 00:57:28,850
I've seen a lot of bullshit.

904
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:31,640
Angel dust, switchblades,

905
00:57:32,740 --> 00:57:35,950
sexually perverse photography exhibits
involving tennis rackets,

906
00:57:36,490 --> 00:57:38,070
but this suicide thing...

907
00:57:39,910 --> 00:57:42,830
...guess that's more
on Pauline's wavelength.

908
00:57:43,870 --> 00:57:45,830
Well, we're just gonna write off today,

909
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:51,710
and on Friday she can hold
her little love-in or whatever.

910
00:57:53,340 --> 00:57:54,380
Whatever.

911
00:57:56,100 --> 00:57:58,050
(Overlapping chatter)

912
00:58:00,890 --> 00:58:01,930
Attention!

913
00:58:03,390 --> 00:58:04,980
May I have your attention, please?

914
00:58:06,860 --> 00:58:09,850
This school has been
torn apart by tragedy.

915
00:58:10,610 --> 00:58:13,650
I'm here today to fuse it back again
through togetherness.

916
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,030
I want everyone to clasp hands.

917
00:58:17,740 --> 00:58:21,080
We need to connect this cafeteria
into one mighty circuit!

918
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,070
- Excuse me, please.
- Hey look, here comes the TV crew!

919
00:58:24,540 --> 00:58:25,700
Lock your paws!

920
00:58:26,830 --> 00:58:28,620
- We're ready when you are.
- Hi, there.

921
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:31,200
Come on. Come on.

922
00:58:31,710 --> 00:58:33,580
Let's go. Up here.

923
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:36,670
Yes, this will be on TV.
Let's show them how you feel!

924
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,800
Looks like Miss Phlegm's
on another one of her crusades.

925
00:58:39,930 --> 00:58:41,640
With usual success, of course.

926
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:44,720
Come on, freshmen! Get up!

927
00:58:44,850 --> 00:58:47,690
- Hi. What's your name?
- Hi. I'm Heather Duke.

928
00:58:50,270 --> 00:58:52,270
(Indistinct chatter)

929
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:55,690
Is this as good for you as it is for me?

930
00:58:57,110 --> 00:58:59,110
Those fish sticks can wait. Let's go.

931
00:59:00,030 --> 00:59:01,490
Come on, kids!

932
00:59:03,330 --> 00:59:05,160
The whole World is watching!

933
00:59:07,790 --> 00:59:09,410
Show them that you care!

934
00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:13,370
Greetings and salutations.

935
00:59:14,090 --> 00:59:17,460
I'm gonna need a VHS copy of all this
by Monday for my Princeton application.

936
00:59:17,590 --> 00:59:18,630
Uh-huh.

937
00:59:20,510 --> 00:59:23,510
You can beat this.
Don't let suicide get you down.

938
00:59:25,270 --> 00:59:28,390
(Veronica) That thing this afternoon,
I'm so angry.

939
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:30,230
It was chaos, fucking chaos.

940
00:59:31,980 --> 00:59:33,520
What are you talking about, huh?

941
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:35,770
I mean, today was great.

942
00:59:35,900 --> 00:59:37,440
Chaos was great.

943
00:59:37,910 --> 00:59:40,690
Chaos is what killed
the dinosaurs, darling.

944
00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:44,070
Face it. Our way is the way.

945
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:46,660
We scare people
into not being assholes.

946
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:49,580
Our way is not our way.

947
00:59:49,710 --> 00:59:52,200
Oh, yeah?
Tell that to the judge, all right?

948
00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:54,120
Tell it to Kurt Kelly. (Groans)

949
00:59:54,250 --> 00:59:56,590
- Oh, God!
- I'm telling it to you!

950
00:59:59,550 --> 01:00:01,670
- God, you can be so immature!
- (Door closes)

951
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,840
Oh! You kids are making
too much damn noise!

952
01:00:04,970 --> 01:00:07,430
(Chuckles) We beat the bitches.

953
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:09,770
Oh, beautiful. The beaver's home.

954
01:00:11,060 --> 01:00:13,980
Judge told them to slurp shit and die.

955
01:00:15,190 --> 01:00:17,560
I put a Norwegian in the boiler room.

956
01:00:17,690 --> 01:00:19,980
(Chuckles) Masterful.

957
01:00:21,870 --> 01:00:23,360
And then When that blew,

958
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:26,280
it set off a pack of thermals
I stuck upstairs.

959
01:00:28,210 --> 01:00:29,540
(Chuckles)

960
01:00:36,210 --> 01:00:38,170
Some days it's great to be alive.

961
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:40,420
(Chuckles)

962
01:00:41,090 --> 01:00:43,090
Stick it to those goddamn...

963
01:00:43,220 --> 01:00:44,680
Do you like your father?

964
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,590
Never given the matter much thought.

965
01:00:51,270 --> 01:00:52,930
(Sighs) Liked my mother.

966
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,720
Yeah, they said her death
was an accident,

967
01:00:57,860 --> 01:00:59,980
but, uh, she kneW what she was doing.

968
01:01:00,900 --> 01:01:04,520
She walked into the building two minutes
before my dad blew the place up.

969
01:01:05,870 --> 01:01:07,730
She waved at me and then...

970
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,370
...boom.

971
01:01:11,670 --> 01:01:15,000
(Radio presenter) 'Dudes, if I get
one more request for that Big Fun song,

972
01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:16,290
'I'm gonna commit suicide.'

973
01:01:16,420 --> 01:01:17,580
Playing our song.

974
01:01:17,710 --> 01:01:21,130
'Here it is,
"Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It."'

975
01:01:21,260 --> 01:01:22,540
(Turns volume up)

976
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:25,510
♪ Teenage suicide,
Don't do it

977
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:28,510
♪ Teenage suicide,
She blew it

978
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:31,510
♪ Teenage suicide,
Don't do it ♪

979
01:01:32,060 --> 01:01:33,850
(Gunshot, ricochet)

980
01:01:34,730 --> 01:01:36,390
That's it. We're breaking up.

981
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:40,060
What? You can't bring them back.
You must know that.

982
01:01:40,190 --> 01:01:43,560
I am not trying to bring anybody back,
except maybe myself.

983
01:01:54,620 --> 01:01:55,790
(Groans) No!

984
01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,830
And to think there was a time
when I actually thought you were cool!

985
01:02:01,670 --> 01:02:05,510
(Gasps) Man, if you can't deal with me now
then just stay home and shoot your TV.

986
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,590
Blow up a couple toasters or something.

987
01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:11,180
Just don't come to school,
and don't mess with me.

988
01:02:15,060 --> 01:02:16,470
You'll be back.

989
01:02:28,410 --> 01:02:30,530
(Heather 3) Me and Martha Dumptruck?

990
01:02:31,450 --> 01:02:32,610
Where did you get this?

991
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:38,240
Oh, I just had the nicest little chat
with Ms Dumptruck.

992
01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:39,790
Got along famously.

993
01:02:40,710 --> 01:02:43,580
It's kinda scary how everybody's got
a little story to tell.

994
01:02:44,420 --> 01:02:46,380
Uh, wanna see the canoeing shots?

995
01:02:46,510 --> 01:02:48,130
What is this? Blackmail?

996
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:54,260
I'll give you a Week's lunch money.

997
01:02:54,810 --> 01:02:58,050
(Chuckles) I don't want your money.

998
01:02:58,690 --> 01:03:00,220
I want your strength.

999
01:03:00,730 --> 01:03:03,220
Westerburg does not need
mushy togetherness.

1000
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:05,070
It needs a strong leader.

1001
01:03:05,700 --> 01:03:07,860
Heather Chandler was that leader, but...

1002
01:03:08,990 --> 01:03:10,400
But she couldn't handle it.

1003
01:03:11,660 --> 01:03:13,030
I think you can.

1004
01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:16,200
Moby Dick is dunked.

1005
01:03:16,830 --> 01:03:19,170
The white whale
drank some bad plankton,

1006
01:03:19,290 --> 01:03:21,080
and splashed through a coffee table,

1007
01:03:21,210 --> 01:03:23,750
and now it's your turn to take the helm.

1008
01:03:24,210 --> 01:03:27,170
- What about the photographs?
- Oh, don't worry.

1009
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:31,300
I'll ask you to do me a favour,
and it'll be one you'll enjoy.

1010
01:03:32,010 --> 01:03:34,350
You'll get the negatives
and everything back then.

1011
01:03:36,850 --> 01:03:40,060
But in the meantime, strength.

1012
01:03:41,980 --> 01:03:43,220
Here's a little gift.

1013
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:46,690
From Heather to Heather.

1014
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:28,640
- Guess who?
- Heather?

1015
01:04:28,780 --> 01:04:30,360
(Chuckles)

1016
01:04:44,290 --> 01:04:46,290
(Phone line ringing)

1017
01:04:47,670 --> 01:04:50,260
- 'Hello?'
- Hello, Betty? This is Veronica.

1018
01:04:53,680 --> 01:04:55,420
I don't believe it! I'm winning!

1019
01:04:57,350 --> 01:04:59,720
(Veronica) Don't you start
getting cocky on me now, girl.

1020
01:05:01,810 --> 01:05:03,180
I really missed you.

1021
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:07,110
I know I'm not as exciting
as your other friends.

1022
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:09,270
That is bullshit.

1023
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:10,440
Shoot.

1024
01:05:11,660 --> 01:05:13,150
Do you know I'm still a virgin?

1025
01:05:13,870 --> 01:05:16,900
OK, I... I French kissed
Al Springer once.

1026
01:05:17,450 --> 01:05:19,110
It was a total disaster.

1027
01:05:19,250 --> 01:05:20,950
Shoot the ball. (Giggles)

1028
01:05:25,170 --> 01:05:29,460
You know, Betty, your daydreams are a lot
better than my realities, believe me.

1029
01:05:31,050 --> 01:05:34,790
(Sighs) But now, prepare to die.

1030
01:05:34,930 --> 01:05:36,260
Ronnie!

1031
01:05:45,020 --> 01:05:46,350
(Clicks tongue)

1032
01:05:50,570 --> 01:05:52,190
(Exhales)

1033
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:54,150
You're not gonna go for those two shots.

1034
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:57,020
I mean, uh, go ahead, knock me out.

1035
01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:58,570
It's the only way to win.

1036
01:05:59,910 --> 01:06:01,450
It's not my style.

1037
01:06:03,290 --> 01:06:06,030
Nice guys finish last. I should know.

1038
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,210
(Heather 3) Bravo.

1039
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:18,960
Brav-o.

1040
01:06:21,100 --> 01:06:22,640
Listen, I-I got to get home, OK?

1041
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:25,970
- OK.
- Thanks.

1042
01:06:27,020 --> 01:06:28,680
Bye, Betty.

1043
01:06:29,570 --> 01:06:30,900
Bye.

1044
01:06:31,030 --> 01:06:32,690
Betty, leaving so soon?

1045
01:06:33,530 --> 01:06:34,860
I'm red.

1046
01:06:36,530 --> 01:06:38,490
(Crowd cheering)

1047
01:06:43,580 --> 01:06:44,990
(Slurps)

1048
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,980
(Pauline) 'The Westerburg suicides
were tough on all of us,

1049
01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:10,310
'but we shared the pain
of losing three very popular students.

1050
01:07:10,770 --> 01:07:13,890
'I came into the cafeteria,
asked them to hold hands...'

1051
01:07:14,860 --> 01:07:17,650
Isn't that that flake
we met at the open house?

1052
01:07:17,780 --> 01:07:19,900
'...burst of cleansing synchronicity,

1053
01:07:20,030 --> 01:07:23,700
'TV cameras happened
onto our path and captured...'

1054
01:07:23,830 --> 01:07:25,360
Cleansing synchronicity?

1055
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:27,490
'...an emotional outpouring of emotion.'

1056
01:07:27,620 --> 01:07:29,410
(Veronica) Outpouring of emotion?

1057
01:07:31,090 --> 01:07:32,420
(Dad) Ha! Look! There's Heather.

1058
01:07:32,550 --> 01:07:34,880
- (Chuckles)
- There's Heather.

1059
01:07:35,010 --> 01:07:36,620
Where are you, Veronica?

1060
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:38,840
'Before a teenager
decides to kill himself,

1061
01:07:38,970 --> 01:07:40,930
'there are certain facts
that he should know.

1062
01:07:41,430 --> 01:07:45,170
'After all, this is a decision
that affects all of us,

1063
01:07:45,310 --> 01:07:47,770
'and there's only one chance
to get it right.'

1064
01:07:57,070 --> 01:07:59,060
(Horn honking)

1065
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:02,270
'Getting some supervi...'

1066
01:08:03,370 --> 01:08:04,950
Turn that back on.

1067
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:08,120
Can't you see these programmes
are eating suicide up with a spoon?

1068
01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:10,080
They're making it sound like
a cool thing to do.

1069
01:08:10,210 --> 01:08:14,170
Are you trying to tell me it's not a time
for troubled youth? Stand up straight.

1070
01:08:14,300 --> 01:08:16,750
All we want is to be
treated like human beings,

1071
01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:19,250
not to be experimented on
like guinea pigs,

1072
01:08:19,380 --> 01:08:21,220
or patronised like bunny rabbits.

1073
01:08:21,340 --> 01:08:23,090
I don't patronise bunny rabbits.

1074
01:08:23,220 --> 01:08:24,550
Treated like human beings?

1075
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:28,560
Is that what you said,
little "Miss Voice-of-a-Generation"?

1076
01:08:29,190 --> 01:08:32,430
Just how do you think
adults act with other adults?

1077
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:35,230
You think it's all just
a game of doubles tennis?

1078
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:38,770
When teenagers complain that
they want to be treated like human beings,

1079
01:08:38,900 --> 01:08:41,610
it's usually because they are
being treated like human beings.

1080
01:08:41,740 --> 01:08:43,070
(Sighs)

1081
01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:46,240
Yeah, well, I guess I picked
the wrong time to be a human being.

1082
01:08:46,950 --> 01:08:48,320
Well, you'll live.

1083
01:08:55,090 --> 01:08:56,420
Want some pâté?

1084
01:08:57,090 --> 01:08:58,420
(Door opens, closes)

1085
01:08:58,550 --> 01:09:00,160
Hi, everybody. Door was open.

1086
01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:03,340
Veronica, have you heard?

1087
01:09:03,470 --> 01:09:06,340
We were doing Chinese at the food fair
when it comes over the radio

1088
01:09:06,470 --> 01:09:08,720
that Martha Dumptruck
tried to buy the farm.

1089
01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:12,060
(Chuckles) She belly-flopped in front of
a car wearing a suicide note.

1090
01:09:13,940 --> 01:09:16,150
Well, is she dead?

1091
01:09:16,270 --> 01:09:17,940
No. That's the punch line.

1092
01:09:18,070 --> 01:09:20,480
She's alive and in stable condition.

1093
01:09:20,610 --> 01:09:21,980
Just another case of a geek

1094
01:09:22,110 --> 01:09:24,780
trying to imitate the popular people
and failing miserably.

1095
01:09:25,580 --> 01:09:26,660
Is that pâté?

1096
01:09:31,210 --> 01:09:32,790
(Veronica) I said I was sorry.

1097
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:34,280
You were out of control.

1098
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:37,410
I mean, Heather and Kurt were a shock,
but Martha Dumptruck?

1099
01:09:37,550 --> 01:09:40,630
Get crucial. She dialled
suicide hotlines in her diapers.

1100
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,870
(Sighs) You're not funny.

1101
01:09:43,550 --> 01:09:47,140
Look, Martha couldn't take the heat,

1102
01:09:47,260 --> 01:09:48,720
so she got out of the kitchen.

1103
01:09:49,180 --> 01:09:52,930
Just think what a better place this world
would be if every nimrod followed her cue.

1104
01:09:53,810 --> 01:09:55,800
Just shut up. "Hot Probs" is on.

1105
01:09:55,940 --> 01:09:57,400
Oh, shit. Yeah.

1106
01:09:57,520 --> 01:10:01,480
(Radio) 'Skipper's OK, but still sometimes
I feel like-like I'm on that island,

1107
01:10:01,610 --> 01:10:03,900
'and-and Gilligan
can be so stupid sometimes.'

1108
01:10:04,030 --> 01:10:06,440
Yeah, well, dude,
just remember, you know,

1109
01:10:06,570 --> 01:10:09,280
if it wasn't for the courage
of the fearless crew,

1110
01:10:09,410 --> 01:10:11,780
the Minnow would be lost
and you are, too.

1111
01:10:12,870 --> 01:10:13,910
Next call.

1112
01:10:14,040 --> 01:10:15,330
That sounded like a good one.

1113
01:10:15,460 --> 01:10:17,420
(Man) 'Hey, you've got the dog catcher.'

1114
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:22,330
'My name is Heather.
No, i-it's not Heather.'

1115
01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:24,340
'No, it...'

1116
01:10:27,180 --> 01:10:28,510
It's Madonna.

1117
01:10:29,430 --> 01:10:31,050
Jeez. No, not that.

1118
01:10:31,180 --> 01:10:32,220
'Hey, babe.'

1119
01:10:32,730 --> 01:10:33,810
I need a name.

1120
01:10:35,230 --> 01:10:37,220
(Bird chirping)

1121
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:39,980
(Chirps)

1122
01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:41,980
My name is Tweety.

1123
01:10:43,440 --> 01:10:46,900
(Presenter) 'Tweety? Ooh, tweet!'

1124
01:10:47,030 --> 01:10:48,820
God has cursed me, I think.

1125
01:10:50,540 --> 01:10:54,370
The last guy I had sex with
killed himself the next day.

1126
01:10:57,630 --> 01:10:58,960
I'm failing math.

1127
01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:01,000
My whole life is a mess.

1128
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:03,960
I was supposed to be captain
of the cheerleading team.

1129
01:11:05,090 --> 01:11:07,250
Man, she knows We listen to this show.

1130
01:11:07,970 --> 01:11:10,460
Holy shit! We'll crucify her!

1131
01:11:11,140 --> 01:11:13,130
'But my parents are divorced and stuff.'

1132
01:11:17,230 --> 01:11:19,520
(Veronica)
'Heather told everyone about Heather.

1133
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:24,730
'Yes, dear Diary,
I've cut off Heather Chandler's head,

1134
01:11:24,860 --> 01:11:27,650
'and Heather Duke's head
has sprouted back in its place

1135
01:11:27,780 --> 01:11:30,240
'like some mythological thing

1136
01:11:30,370 --> 01:11:32,900
'my eighth-grade boyfriend
would have known about.

1137
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,240
'Heather's even doing the old note trick.'

1138
01:11:39,750 --> 01:11:42,590
(Sighs) 'I've seen JD's way.

1139
01:11:42,710 --> 01:11:45,800
'I've seen Miss Pauline Fleming's way,

1140
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:47,840
'and nothing has changed.

1141
01:11:48,550 --> 01:11:50,130
'I guess that's Heather's way.

1142
01:11:51,180 --> 01:11:53,340
'And, Jesus, what about JD?

1143
01:11:53,470 --> 01:11:55,430
'I can't get him out of my head.

1144
01:11:55,980 --> 01:11:58,060
'Wait. Where's Heather going?'

1145
01:11:59,190 --> 01:12:00,430
Where's Heather going?

1146
01:12:01,020 --> 01:12:02,850
She's going to cry.

1147
01:12:02,980 --> 01:12:04,600
(Laughter)

1148
01:12:07,200 --> 01:12:09,060
Fucking child protector caps.

1149
01:12:13,530 --> 01:12:14,990
(Teacher) Now where is she going?

1150
01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:18,620
(Groans)

1151
01:12:19,540 --> 01:12:20,870
Heather!

1152
01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:24,500
What are you trying to do? Kill me?

1153
01:12:24,630 --> 01:12:26,670
What are you trying to do? Sleep?

1154
01:12:28,630 --> 01:12:31,500
- Suicide is a private thing.
- (Scoffs)

1155
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:33,750
Heather, you're throwing your life away

1156
01:12:33,890 --> 01:12:36,550
to become a statistic
in the "US-fucking-A Today".

1157
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:39,640
Now that is the least private thing
I can think of.

1158
01:12:40,810 --> 01:12:42,680
What about Heather and Kurt and Ram?

1159
01:12:43,310 --> 01:12:44,650
(Sighs)

1160
01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:49,030
If everyone jumped off a bridge,
would you?

1161
01:12:52,410 --> 01:12:53,650
Probably.

1162
01:12:55,660 --> 01:12:58,820
Hey now, if you were happy
every day of your life,

1163
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:01,700
you wouldn't be a human being,
you'd be a game-show host.

1164
01:13:03,290 --> 01:13:07,000
What do you say we knock off early,
buy some shoes, something lame like that?

1165
01:13:08,510 --> 01:13:09,710
OK.

1166
01:13:16,390 --> 01:13:18,130
(Jason) So it's, uh, come to this.

1167
01:13:18,270 --> 01:13:19,880
Heather Chandler did polls.

1168
01:13:20,020 --> 01:13:23,310
I want you to do a petition,
as a favour,

1169
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:24,850
as the favour.

1170
01:13:24,980 --> 01:13:27,850
You've, uh, heard
of the group Big Fun, right?

1171
01:13:27,980 --> 01:13:30,900
That's right.
"Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It".

1172
01:13:31,030 --> 01:13:35,900
All right. Some teenybopper rag says
that, uh, they want to play a prom.

1173
01:13:36,620 --> 01:13:39,830
Now, it could be Westerburg's
if we get everybody's John Hancock.

1174
01:13:39,950 --> 01:13:41,570
I'll get right on it, coach.

1175
01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:44,990
Oh, little gift for you.
I won't be needing it.

1176
01:13:51,880 --> 01:13:54,470
(♪ Music over dialogue)

1177
01:14:18,700 --> 01:14:19,940
(Veronica) Heather?

1178
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,190
Veronica.

1179
01:14:22,410 --> 01:14:23,900
Colour me stoked, girl.

1180
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:26,870
I've gotten everyone
to sign this petition,

1181
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,370
even the ones who think Big Fun
are tuneless Eurofags.

1182
01:14:29,500 --> 01:14:30,960
(Chuckles) People love me.

1183
01:14:31,630 --> 01:14:33,250
You know, you haven't signed, yet.

1184
01:14:33,380 --> 01:14:36,250
People love you but I know you.

1185
01:14:36,890 --> 01:14:39,220
Jennifer Forbes
told me the petition she signed

1186
01:14:39,350 --> 01:14:42,840
was to put a hot tub in the cafeteria,
and Doug Hilton said...

1187
01:14:42,980 --> 01:14:45,680
Some people need different kinds
of convincing than others.

1188
01:14:46,520 --> 01:14:48,260
Look, just sign the petition, OK?

1189
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:50,310
Don't talk to me like that, OK?

1190
01:14:51,190 --> 01:14:52,730
Look, it was JD's idea.

1191
01:14:53,320 --> 01:14:56,610
He made out the signature sheet
and everything so why don't you just sign it?

1192
01:14:57,870 --> 01:14:58,900
No.

1193
01:15:01,410 --> 01:15:02,490
Jealous much?

1194
01:15:06,710 --> 01:15:08,920
Heather, why can't you just be a friend?

1195
01:15:09,040 --> 01:15:10,910
Why are you such a megabitch?

1196
01:15:11,670 --> 01:15:13,500
(Giggles) Because I can be.

1197
01:15:15,630 --> 01:15:17,550
Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

1198
01:15:18,430 --> 01:15:20,170
Do you think, I mean, do you really think,

1199
01:15:20,300 --> 01:15:22,590
if Betty Finn's fairy godmother
made her cool,

1200
01:15:22,720 --> 01:15:25,010
she would still hang out
with her dweebette friends?

1201
01:15:25,520 --> 01:15:27,130
(Scoffs) No way, Veronica.

1202
01:15:27,730 --> 01:15:28,760
Uh-uh.

1203
01:15:36,530 --> 01:15:37,940
(Sighs)

1204
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:40,520
(Jason) Wanna go out tonight?

1205
01:15:41,830 --> 01:15:44,320
Catch a movie? Some miniature golf?

1206
01:15:46,290 --> 01:15:49,660
I was thinking more along the lines
of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open,

1207
01:15:49,790 --> 01:15:51,500
making it look like a suicide.

1208
01:15:51,630 --> 01:15:53,210
Ah! Now you're talking.

1209
01:15:53,340 --> 01:15:55,000
I could be up for that.

1210
01:15:55,130 --> 01:15:57,790
I've already started underlining
meaningful passages

1211
01:15:57,930 --> 01:15:59,290
in her copy of "Moby Dick",

1212
01:15:59,430 --> 01:16:00,630
if you know what I mean.

1213
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:05,010
I knew you'd be back, Veronica.

1214
01:16:06,390 --> 01:16:09,430
I knew it. I was positive, sure.

1215
01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:12,560
(Groans)

1216
01:16:13,730 --> 01:16:17,350
It's over, JD. Over.
Grow up!

1217
01:16:18,150 --> 01:16:19,320
I don't get it.

1218
01:16:19,450 --> 01:16:21,440
I mean, you were wrong. I was right!

1219
01:16:23,990 --> 01:16:25,730
Strength, damn it!

1220
01:16:25,870 --> 01:16:27,200
(Sighs)

1221
01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:29,160
Come on. Come back!

1222
01:16:35,670 --> 01:16:37,000
(Scoffs)

1223
01:16:38,630 --> 01:16:39,790
Yes?

1224
01:16:40,430 --> 01:16:42,790
Y-your friend Jason Dean stopped by.

1225
01:16:42,930 --> 01:16:44,640
He seemed very concerned about you.

1226
01:16:44,760 --> 01:16:48,100
He said that he thought
you might try to kill yourself.

1227
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:50,390
You have been depressed lately.

1228
01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:52,060
Oh, he left this for you.

1229
01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:00,890
(Sighs) Oh, my God.

1230
01:17:03,570 --> 01:17:06,440
He said that we should
keep you away from sharp objects,

1231
01:17:06,580 --> 01:17:09,870
uh, closed garage doors,
chemical, uh, substances.

1232
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:12,110
- Prescription drugs.
- Prescription drugs.

1233
01:17:35,310 --> 01:17:36,650
(Sighs)

1234
01:17:40,950 --> 01:17:42,280
(Lighter clicks)

1235
01:17:50,830 --> 01:17:54,320
"To neither love
nor reverence wilt thou be kind.

1236
01:17:55,790 --> 01:17:59,080
"And even for hate thou canst but kill,

1237
01:18:00,460 --> 01:18:02,050
"and all are killed."

1238
01:18:04,390 --> 01:18:05,840
I like it.

1239
01:18:05,970 --> 01:18:10,510
It's got that "what a cruel world
so let's toss ourselves in the abyss"

1240
01:18:10,640 --> 01:18:12,180
type of ambiance, huh?
(Gasps)

1241
01:18:14,980 --> 01:18:17,310
Come on.
It's Heather's copy of "Moby Dick".

1242
01:18:18,650 --> 01:18:20,230
(Exhales)

1243
01:18:20,360 --> 01:18:22,940
Why don't you give it a try, huh?
Underline something.

1244
01:18:24,990 --> 01:18:27,530
Get off of my bed, you fucking psycho!

1245
01:18:28,580 --> 01:18:31,440
You think you're a rebel?
Do you actually think you're a rebel?

1246
01:18:31,580 --> 01:18:34,490
You're not a rebel.
You're fucking psychotic!

1247
01:18:36,380 --> 01:18:38,710
You say "tom-ay-to", I say "tom-ah-to".

1248
01:18:39,380 --> 01:18:40,710
- (Sighs)
- Hold it.

1249
01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:43,920
Eskimo. Look at that.

1250
01:18:45,130 --> 01:18:46,590
That's one word.

1251
01:18:47,050 --> 01:18:49,390
I love it! I usually go
for the whole sentence myself.

1252
01:18:49,510 --> 01:18:51,760
But this is <i>perfecto.</i>

1253
01:18:52,480 --> 01:18:55,970
Eskimo, you know, it's so,
uh, mysterious.

1254
01:18:57,770 --> 01:18:59,640
Es-ki-mo.

1255
01:19:00,650 --> 01:19:02,110
(Exhales)

1256
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:06,700
Come on.

1257
01:19:08,990 --> 01:19:11,110
JD, you are not even listening to me!

1258
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:14,700
Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!

1259
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:18,740
T-t-that knife is filthy!

1260
01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:22,330
What do you think I'm gonna do with it?
Take out her tonsils?

1261
01:19:22,460 --> 01:19:25,710
(Scoffs) Excuse me, I think I know Heather
a little better than you do.

1262
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:28,550
If she was gonna slit her wrists,
the knife would be spotless.

1263
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:30,010
(Knife slashes)

1264
01:19:31,350 --> 01:19:34,090
All right, how's this? Can you see
your fucking reflection in the thing?

1265
01:19:37,400 --> 01:19:40,100
Tomorrow someone else
is just gonna move into her place.

1266
01:19:41,770 --> 01:19:43,310
That person could be me.

1267
01:19:47,740 --> 01:19:50,860
Ha! There's only one of us
who knows how to do Heather's handwriting.

1268
01:19:50,990 --> 01:19:54,530
And if you think I'm gonna write
another suicide note, you're wrong!

1269
01:19:54,660 --> 01:19:56,490
You don't get it, do you?

1270
01:19:56,620 --> 01:19:59,830
But society nods its head
at any horror the American teenager

1271
01:19:59,960 --> 01:20:02,290
can think
to bring upon itself!

1272
01:20:02,420 --> 01:20:06,760
Uh-uh... Nobody's gonna care about
exact handwriting. Help me. Quick.

1273
01:20:07,510 --> 01:20:08,670
Look.

1274
01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:18,470
"Life sucks."

1275
01:20:21,940 --> 01:20:23,850
It's <i>perfecto</i>. (Giggles)

1276
01:20:24,900 --> 01:20:28,640
Jesus, I've got
a meaningfully marked-up "Moby Dick".

1277
01:20:28,780 --> 01:20:30,650
What else does a suicide need, huh?

1278
01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:32,560
Now, if you'll excuse me.

1279
01:20:38,660 --> 01:20:40,000
(Veronica) No!

1280
01:20:43,340 --> 01:20:44,790
(Sighs)

1281
01:20:45,920 --> 01:20:47,410
Open the door!

1282
01:20:56,180 --> 01:20:57,550
Eskimo.

1283
01:21:02,310 --> 01:21:06,810
Heather Duke underlined a lot of things
in this copy of "Moby Dick",

1284
01:21:07,530 --> 01:21:10,360
but I believe the word "Eskimo",

1285
01:21:10,990 --> 01:21:13,280
underlined all by itself,

1286
01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:16,650
is the key
to understanding Heather's pain.

1287
01:21:17,410 --> 01:21:21,250
On the surface, Heather Duke
was the vivacious young lady

1288
01:21:21,370 --> 01:21:22,910
we all knew her to be,

1289
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:27,340
but her soul Was in Antarctica,

1290
01:21:28,010 --> 01:21:30,170
freezing with the knowledge

1291
01:21:30,300 --> 01:21:34,090
of the way fellow teenagers can be cruel.

1292
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:38,380
The way that parents
can be unresponsive.

1293
01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:43,640
And as she writes so eloquently
in her suicide note,

1294
01:21:43,770 --> 01:21:46,230
the way that life can suck!

1295
01:21:48,780 --> 01:21:51,890
We'll all miss Sherwood's little Eskimo.

1296
01:21:54,110 --> 01:21:58,480
Let's just hope
she's rubbing noses with Jesus.

1297
01:21:58,620 --> 01:22:00,860
Is this turnout weak or what?

1298
01:22:02,210 --> 01:22:05,240
I had at least 70 more people
at my funeral.

1299
01:22:07,130 --> 01:22:08,160
Heather?

1300
01:22:12,340 --> 01:22:13,710
God, Veronica.

1301
01:22:14,220 --> 01:22:16,840
My afterlife is so boring.

1302
01:22:17,890 --> 01:22:20,800
If I have to sing
"Kumbaya" one more time...

1303
01:22:20,930 --> 01:22:22,140
What are you doing here?

1304
01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:24,810
I made your favourite.

1305
01:22:25,770 --> 01:22:27,230
Spaghetti.

1306
01:22:27,360 --> 01:22:28,600
Lots of oregano.

1307
01:22:31,650 --> 01:22:32,690
Dinner!

1308
01:22:35,320 --> 01:22:37,230
(Mom) Veronica! Dinner!

1309
01:22:38,240 --> 01:22:40,230
(Clock ticking)

1310
01:23:01,470 --> 01:23:04,060
(Veronica) 'Dear Diary, last entry.

1311
01:23:04,730 --> 01:23:06,390
'No one can stop JD,

1312
01:23:06,520 --> 01:23:09,890
'not the FBI, the CIA or the PTA.

1313
01:23:10,570 --> 01:23:14,060
'He once told me that the extreme
always makes an impression.

1314
01:23:14,900 --> 01:23:17,020
'Well, noW it's my turn.

1315
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:21,530
'Let's see how the son of a bitch reacts
to a suicide he didn't perform himself.'

1316
01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:25,150
(Gun cocks)

1317
01:23:58,360 --> 01:23:59,730
I can't believe you did it.

1318
01:24:00,780 --> 01:24:02,240
I was teasing.

1319
01:24:03,370 --> 01:24:04,610
I loved you.

1320
01:24:06,040 --> 01:24:08,750
Sure, I Was... I was
coming up here to kill ya.

1321
01:24:11,250 --> 01:24:15,620
First, I was gonna try and get you back
with my amazing petition.

1322
01:24:19,430 --> 01:24:23,420
It's a shame you can't see what
our, uh, fellow students really signed.

1323
01:24:27,770 --> 01:24:29,100
All right, listen.

1324
01:24:31,190 --> 01:24:32,720
(Exhales)

1325
01:24:32,860 --> 01:24:36,020
"We students
of Westerburg High will die.

1326
01:24:37,030 --> 01:24:42,110
"Today, our burning bodies
will be the ultimate protest

1327
01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:44,820
"to a society that degrades us.

1328
01:24:46,160 --> 01:24:47,450
"Fuck you all."

1329
01:24:49,500 --> 01:24:51,210
It's not very subtle,

1330
01:24:51,330 --> 01:24:54,750
but, uh, neither's blowing up
a whole school, now, is it?

1331
01:24:56,960 --> 01:24:59,170
Talk about your suicide pacts, huh?

1332
01:25:01,930 --> 01:25:04,970
When our school blows up tomorrow,

1333
01:25:05,100 --> 01:25:08,220
it's gonna be the kind of thing
to infect a generation!

1334
01:25:08,890 --> 01:25:11,180
I mean, it's gonna be
a Woodstock for the '80s!

1335
01:25:12,520 --> 01:25:14,510
(Breathes heavily)

1336
01:25:20,780 --> 01:25:22,110
Damn it, Veronica.

1337
01:25:25,030 --> 01:25:27,370
We could have toasted
some marshmallows together.

1338
01:25:31,040 --> 01:25:32,950
What does she want?
A written invitation?

1339
01:25:33,750 --> 01:25:35,740
Veronica! Dinner!

1340
01:25:36,750 --> 01:25:38,090
Sheesh.

1341
01:25:42,590 --> 01:25:43,930
Veronica, I...

1342
01:25:48,430 --> 01:25:52,050
Oh, I... I-I-I s-s-should have let you
take that job at the mall.

1343
01:25:52,190 --> 01:25:56,600
It was... it was just that I was afraid
of you coming home late at night and I...

1344
01:26:02,280 --> 01:26:03,490
(Grunts)

1345
01:26:04,070 --> 01:26:05,530
(Breathes heavily)

1346
01:26:06,490 --> 01:26:08,530
Hey, mom, why so tense?

1347
01:26:12,410 --> 01:26:13,950
(Knocking on door)

1348
01:26:14,080 --> 01:26:16,920
(Jason's dad) Hey, Pop,
I need some help with my homework.

1349
01:26:17,380 --> 01:26:20,420
Uh, not right now, tiger.
I'm a little busy.

1350
01:26:48,410 --> 01:26:49,740
Veronica!

1351
01:26:50,200 --> 01:26:52,620
JD told me
you committed suicide last night.

1352
01:26:52,750 --> 01:26:54,080
Where is he? Where's JD?

1353
01:26:55,210 --> 01:26:56,660
We have to talk.

1354
01:26:56,790 --> 01:26:58,250
Whether to kill yourself or not

1355
01:26:58,380 --> 01:27:00,870
is one of the most important decisions
a teenager can make.

1356
01:27:01,380 --> 01:27:02,750
Get a job.

1357
01:28:22,540 --> 01:28:24,130
(Door closes)

1358
01:28:58,210 --> 01:28:59,410
(Beeps)

1359
01:29:18,350 --> 01:29:20,340
(School bell ringing)

1360
01:29:25,230 --> 01:29:27,220
(Indistinct chatter)

1361
01:29:35,780 --> 01:29:38,030
Rodney, where's everybody going?

1362
01:29:39,200 --> 01:29:40,370
It's Friday.

1363
01:29:41,160 --> 01:29:43,120
Shit, another damn pep assembly.

1364
01:29:43,880 --> 01:29:47,080
Yeah, you know, these things,
they get pretty artificial,

1365
01:29:47,210 --> 01:29:49,330
but, you know,
at least you get out of class.

1366
01:29:51,300 --> 01:29:53,880
Rodney, what's underneath the gym?

1367
01:29:57,850 --> 01:29:59,010
The boiler room.

1368
01:30:05,940 --> 01:30:07,520
(Veronica) May I see your hall pass?

1369
01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:15,650
I knew that loose was too noose.

1370
01:30:15,780 --> 01:30:16,820
(Scoffs)

1371
01:30:16,950 --> 01:30:19,690
I mean, uh.. noose too loose.

1372
01:30:20,950 --> 01:30:22,410
Goddamn you, woman.

1373
01:30:23,830 --> 01:30:25,660
Like father, like son.

1374
01:30:26,290 --> 01:30:28,330
A serious-as-fuck bomb
in the boiler room

1375
01:30:28,460 --> 01:30:30,420
to set off a pack of thermals upstairs.

1376
01:30:31,170 --> 01:30:32,460
(Gasps)

1377
01:30:33,300 --> 01:30:37,590
OK, let's start by putting
the bomb down on the ground.

1378
01:30:41,930 --> 01:30:42,970
I knew that.

1379
01:30:43,850 --> 01:30:44,970
I knew that.

1380
01:30:45,900 --> 01:30:48,560
OK, put your hands on your head.

1381
01:30:49,900 --> 01:30:51,940
You didn't say, "Simon says".

1382
01:30:56,320 --> 01:30:57,810
(Gasps)

1383
01:31:03,540 --> 01:31:04,820
(Jason grunts)

1384
01:31:09,840 --> 01:31:12,420
(Cheerleaders)
Let's go, Rottweilers, let's go!

1385
01:31:13,300 --> 01:31:15,630
Let's go, RottWeilers, let's go!

1386
01:31:16,470 --> 01:31:19,210
Let's go, RottWeilers, let's go!

1387
01:31:19,850 --> 01:31:22,300
Let's go, RottWeilers, let's go!

1388
01:31:23,230 --> 01:31:25,560
Let's go, RottWeilers, let's go!

1389
01:31:25,690 --> 01:31:27,970
(Cheering)

1390
01:31:38,740 --> 01:31:40,150
(Beeps)

1391
01:31:46,540 --> 01:31:48,830
- (Crowd) W-E-S!
- T-E-R!

1392
01:31:48,960 --> 01:31:50,830
- T-E-R!
- (Principal) B-U-R!

1393
01:31:50,960 --> 01:31:52,920
B-U-R!

1394
01:31:53,050 --> 01:31:54,250
- G!
- G!

1395
01:31:54,380 --> 01:31:55,420
What does it spell?

1396
01:31:55,550 --> 01:31:57,710
- (Crowd) Westerburg!
- (Principal) Again!

1397
01:31:57,840 --> 01:31:59,800
Westerburg!

1398
01:31:59,930 --> 01:32:02,010
Westerburg!

1399
01:32:02,140 --> 01:32:03,760
(Cheering)

1400
01:32:09,730 --> 01:32:11,890
(Raucous cheering)

1401
01:32:30,540 --> 01:32:32,200
(Jason grunts)

1402
01:32:33,630 --> 01:32:35,750
(Crowd)
Lean to the left, lean to the right!

1403
01:32:35,880 --> 01:32:38,170
Stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight!

1404
01:32:39,180 --> 01:32:40,840
(Grunts)

1405
01:32:49,980 --> 01:32:51,890
(Yelps) Stop!

1406
01:33:02,660 --> 01:33:04,610
(Clanking)

1407
01:33:15,420 --> 01:33:19,210
(Crowd chanting)
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

1408
01:33:30,190 --> 01:33:31,600
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

1409
01:33:53,630 --> 01:33:55,580
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

1410
01:34:03,220 --> 01:34:05,630
You think just because
you started this you can end it?

1411
01:34:06,260 --> 01:34:08,720
I'll kill, I'll fucking kill you,
I swear to God.

1412
01:34:08,850 --> 01:34:10,510
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

1413
01:34:10,640 --> 01:34:12,220
Yeah!

1414
01:34:12,350 --> 01:34:14,840
How do I turn off
the goddamn bomb, asshole?

1415
01:34:15,610 --> 01:34:16,770
Fuck you!

1416
01:34:17,270 --> 01:34:18,390
(Gunshot)

1417
01:34:21,280 --> 01:34:23,190
(Cheering)

1418
01:34:23,320 --> 01:34:25,360
(Groans)

1419
01:34:25,490 --> 01:34:26,980
Shit!

1420
01:34:28,830 --> 01:34:31,290
It's all over, JD. Help me stop it.

1421
01:34:35,580 --> 01:34:37,200
(Pants)

1422
01:34:38,460 --> 01:34:39,500
(He grunts)

1423
01:34:41,630 --> 01:34:43,790
You wanna clean the slate
as much as I do.

1424
01:34:44,880 --> 01:34:47,970
Right, so maybe I am
killing everyone in the school...

1425
01:34:49,140 --> 01:34:50,630
...because nobody loves me.

1426
01:34:52,520 --> 01:34:53,850
Let's face it, all right?

1427
01:34:54,310 --> 01:34:56,550
The only place different social types

1428
01:34:57,310 --> 01:34:59,770
can genuinely get along
with each other is in heaven.

1429
01:35:00,690 --> 01:35:02,680
(Whistling and cheering)

1430
01:35:04,990 --> 01:35:07,070
Which button do I press to turn it off?

1431
01:35:07,200 --> 01:35:08,690
Try the red one, all right?

1432
01:35:12,120 --> 01:35:15,740
Seriously, people are going to look
at the ashes of Westerburg and say,

1433
01:35:15,870 --> 01:35:17,960
"Now there, it's a school
that self-destructed,

1434
01:35:18,080 --> 01:35:20,080
"not because society didn't care,

1435
01:35:20,210 --> 01:35:23,080
"but because the school was society!"

1436
01:35:23,210 --> 01:35:25,050
(Pants)

1437
01:35:25,720 --> 01:35:26,960
It's pretty deep, huh?

1438
01:35:27,430 --> 01:35:29,010
Which red button?

1439
01:35:29,140 --> 01:35:30,340
(Cheering)

1440
01:35:31,640 --> 01:35:36,630
Press the middle one to turn it off,
if that's what you really want.

1441
01:35:38,020 --> 01:35:39,140
You know what I want, babe?

1442
01:35:40,520 --> 01:35:42,260
- What?
- (Gunshot)

1443
01:35:42,400 --> 01:35:43,940
- (Grunts)
- (Crackles)

1444
01:35:45,570 --> 01:35:47,940
(Beeps)

1445
01:35:50,530 --> 01:35:53,030
Cool guys like you out of my life.

1446
01:35:54,410 --> 01:35:56,400
(Steam hissing)

1447
01:36:03,670 --> 01:36:05,630
(Beeps)

1448
01:36:08,340 --> 01:36:10,300
(Raucous cheering)

1449
01:36:27,450 --> 01:36:28,860
(Exhales)

1450
01:36:30,450 --> 01:36:31,980
(Exhales deeply)

1451
01:36:40,670 --> 01:36:42,500
- (Groans)
- Colour me impressed.

1452
01:36:43,170 --> 01:36:44,250
(She gasps)

1453
01:36:44,880 --> 01:36:47,500
(Gasps, giggles) You, uh...

1454
01:36:48,010 --> 01:36:50,550
You really fucked me up
pretty bad, Veronica.

1455
01:36:53,220 --> 01:36:54,760
(Exhales)

1456
01:36:54,890 --> 01:36:56,220
You, um...

1457
01:36:57,060 --> 01:36:59,550
(Sighs) You got power.

1458
01:37:00,560 --> 01:37:03,520
(Exhales) Power I didn't think you had.

1459
01:37:09,030 --> 01:37:10,190
The slate is clean.

1460
01:37:13,660 --> 01:37:15,150
(Beeps)

1461
01:37:33,600 --> 01:37:35,460
Pretend I did blow up the school.

1462
01:37:37,600 --> 01:37:39,090
All the schools.

1463
01:37:41,310 --> 01:37:42,970
Now that you're dead,

1464
01:37:43,610 --> 01:37:45,270
what are you gonna do with your life?

1465
01:37:56,700 --> 01:37:57,740
(Sniffs)

1466
01:38:08,880 --> 01:38:10,870
(Detonator beeps)

1467
01:38:13,890 --> 01:38:15,500
(Crackles, stops beeping)

1468
01:38:32,070 --> 01:38:34,030
(Cheering)

1469
01:38:35,030 --> 01:38:36,240
(Explosion)

1470
01:38:39,290 --> 01:38:41,280
(Bird cawing)

1471
01:39:01,680 --> 01:39:03,600
(Clamouring)

1472
01:39:12,780 --> 01:39:13,810
Veronica.

1473
01:39:14,610 --> 01:39:16,820
- You look like hell.
- Yeah?

1474
01:39:16,950 --> 01:39:18,310
I just got back.

1475
01:39:20,450 --> 01:39:21,780
Veronica, what are you doing?

1476
01:39:22,500 --> 01:39:25,740
Heather, my love,
there's a new sheriff in town.

1477
01:39:31,550 --> 01:39:32,790
Hey, Martha!

1478
01:39:33,720 --> 01:39:36,500
My date for the prom
kinda flaked out on me.

1479
01:39:36,630 --> 01:39:40,720
If you weren't doing anything that night,
maybe we could rent some new releases.

1480
01:39:41,470 --> 01:39:42,930
Pop some popcorn.

1481
01:39:46,270 --> 01:39:47,760
I'd like that.

1482
01:39:47,900 --> 01:39:50,350
(Exhales) Yeah. So would I.

1483
01:39:53,440 --> 01:39:54,650
(Wheelchair whirrs)

1484
01:39:57,490 --> 01:39:59,980
(♪ SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE:
"Que Sera, Sera)

1485
01:40:14,880 --> 01:40:20,590
♪ When I was just a little girl

1486
01:40:20,720 --> 01:40:27,180
♪ I asked my mother, what will I be?

1487
01:40:27,980 --> 01:40:30,390
♪ Will I be pretty?

1488
01:40:30,860 --> 01:40:33,060
♪ Will I be rich?

1489
01:40:33,820 --> 01:40:37,900
♪ Here's what she said to me

1490
01:40:38,030 --> 01:40:44,370
♪ Que sera, sera

1491
01:40:47,710 --> 01:40:53,540
♪ Whatever will be

1492
01:40:53,670 --> 01:40:55,830
♪ Will be

1493
01:40:56,590 --> 01:40:59,920
♪ Will be

1494
01:41:01,220 --> 01:41:07,840
♪ The future's not ours to see

1495
01:41:08,690 --> 01:41:13,350
♪ Well, well, well, well, oh

1496
01:41:13,480 --> 01:41:19,020
♪ Que sera, que sera

1497
01:41:19,150 --> 01:41:21,020
♪ Que sera

1498
01:41:24,620 --> 01:41:30,330
♪ When I grew up and fell in love

1499
01:41:30,460 --> 01:41:36,450
♪ I asked my lover, what will I be?

1500
01:41:37,710 --> 01:41:42,930
♪ Will I be rich, day after day?

1501
01:41:43,470 --> 01:41:47,680
♪ Here's hoW my lover said

1502
01:41:47,810 --> 01:41:54,300
♪ Que sera, sera

1503
01:41:55,150 --> 01:41:56,860
♪ Yeah

1504
01:41:57,530 --> 01:42:03,240
♪ Whatever will be

1505
01:42:03,360 --> 01:42:05,610
♪ Will be

1506
01:42:06,280 --> 01:42:09,120
♪ Will be

1507
01:42:09,250 --> 01:42:16,740
♪ Oh, que sera, sera

1508
01:42:20,590 --> 01:42:26,300
♪ Whatever will be

1509
01:42:26,970 --> 01:42:29,090
♪ Will be

1510
01:42:29,560 --> 01:42:32,140
♪ Will be

1511
01:42:32,270 --> 01:42:38,060
♪ Oh, the future's not ours to see

1512
01:42:41,610 --> 01:42:46,280
♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

1513
01:42:46,410 --> 01:42:50,780
♪ Que sera, que sera

1514
01:42:50,910 --> 01:42:52,200
♪ Will, will, will, be

1515
01:42:52,330 --> 01:42:53,910
♪ Que sera

1516
01:42:57,380 --> 01:42:59,580
♪ Y'all get down ♪