1
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:42,666
[mumbles]
2
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:44,875
Hello, I'm David Brent.
3
00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:49,958
You probably know me as the star
of the BBC Two documentary, The Office,
4
00:00:50,042 --> 00:00:52,875
back in 2000 and... [chuckles]
5
00:00:52,958 --> 00:00:54,750
No, that was then, this is now.
6
00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:58,750
I'm currently a singer-songwriter.
And a rep.
7
00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:01,000
[David] I work for Lavichem.
8
00:01:01,083 --> 00:01:02,708
What do you mean who does my tampons?
9
00:01:02,792 --> 00:01:05,667
[David] We sell cleaning products.
10
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,708
All toiletry needs, really.
11
00:01:07,791 --> 00:01:11,125
One size fits all. [chuckles]
No, it doesn't, actually.
12
00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:15,625
I am following my dream as the lead singer
in the band Foregone Conclusion.
13
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:17,916
This is our story. Uh...
14
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,916
I never really gave up
that dream if I'm being honest.
15
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,417
So when the documentary team
16
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:25,708
approached me and said they wanted
to continue the Brent saga,
17
00:01:25,792 --> 00:01:27,750
I said, "Sure, but let's do it big."
18
00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:30,458
That's as stiff as you like
and it won't damage your rug.
19
00:01:30,542 --> 00:01:33,125
Well, that's what I told her. [chuckles]
20
00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:36,667
One last push to see if I can make it
in the music business.
21
00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:38,125
Watch this space.
22
00:01:39,042 --> 00:01:40,792
Let's rock. [chuckles]
23
00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:42,833
[rock music plays]
24
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:51,750
♪ Half a tank should get me to Millbank ♪
25
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:55,542
♪ I fill her up and head down to Sidcup ♪
26
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:58,917
♪ It's just a meeting
It's only fleeting ♪
27
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,417
♪ It's just a pitch
And then I'm up to Ipswich ♪
28
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:05,166
♪ Life on the road ♪
29
00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:08,208
♪ Don't need a heavy load ♪
30
00:02:09,625 --> 00:02:12,542
♪ Foot down to the floor ♪
31
00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:16,417
♪ Seventy miles an hour
But no more ♪
32
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:27,333
♪ Wheeler dealing
No feeling ♪
33
00:02:27,417 --> 00:02:30,625
♪ Strictly business
I'm killin' it in Widnes ♪
34
00:02:30,708 --> 00:02:34,333
♪ Then to Gloucester
I get a Costa ♪
35
00:02:34,417 --> 00:02:37,708
♪ Hard shoulder
Coffee holder ♪
36
00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:40,833
♪ Life on the road ♪
37
00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:44,625
♪ Don't need a heavy load ♪
38
00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:47,875
♪ Foot down to the floor ♪
39
00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:54,625
♪ Seventy miles an hour
But no more ♪
40
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,250
Personal parking space.
41
00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:57,541
[David scoffs] Typical.
42
00:03:02,542 --> 00:03:05,083
Oh, here they are.
43
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:08,250
-Ooh, lovely Serena.
-What?
44
00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:09,708
No, I was just saying.
45
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,542
-When you buying me dinner?
-Never.
46
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,458
No, I'll buy. [chuckles]
47
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,917
Morning. Made you a coffee.
48
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,083
We play these games.
Um, they know I'm available.
49
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,750
It's not like they're
coming on to a married man.
50
00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:23,083
So, all good fun.
51
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:26,583
I'm in the marketplace, so to speak.
You know, young, free and single.
52
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,125
Not gonna settle down just yet.
53
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,208
I've been out with all sorts of girls.
54
00:03:30,791 --> 00:03:34,458
Rich girls, poor girls, white girls.
55
00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:35,625
You know.
56
00:03:35,791 --> 00:03:38,458
Thin girls, fat girls.
57
00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,542
I went out with a very big lady.
58
00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:43,167
Mmm, lovely. Bubbly.
59
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,458
Mmm, beautiful eyes.
60
00:03:45,541 --> 00:03:48,916
All my mates were like, "If she
lost weight she'd be an absolute stunner."
61
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,250
And she did lose weight.
62
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:54,417
And, um... and she wasn't a stunner,
which was very disappointing.
63
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,708
Um, a surprise to everyone.
64
00:03:56,792 --> 00:04:00,833
I think she'd left it a bit late in life
and lost it way too quickly.
65
00:04:00,917 --> 00:04:03,458
So she was left
with that sort of wattle thing.
66
00:04:03,542 --> 00:04:04,583
You know...
67
00:04:04,666 --> 00:04:08,708
And she wasn't bubbly anymore.
Bit grumpy. [grunts]
68
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,125
Always hungry.
69
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,541
So, lesson learned. Be what you are.
70
00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:15,291
So, yeah, that's the plan.
71
00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:18,625
Tour, record deal, stick an album out,
72
00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:21,667
make some big bucks, get a fancy crib,
73
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:24,583
-then snare a lucky lady. Yeah.
-[chuckles]
74
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:28,792
But at first, life on the open road.
It's in my blood, uh...
75
00:04:28,875 --> 00:04:31,042
-Do you drive?
-You know I do.
76
00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:33,292
I've given you a lift home several times.
77
00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:36,083
-What car you got?
-Red Honda.
78
00:04:36,416 --> 00:04:38,625
Lady across the road from me
has got a red Honda.
79
00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:41,125
That's me.
I live across the road from you.
80
00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:43,500
Oh. Wondered why she was always waving.
81
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,250
Thought she was mental. [chuckles]
That explains it.
82
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:49,417
-I'd like to see you live.
-Ooh, don't know.
83
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,083
The lyrics are a bit hot for you. X-rated.
84
00:04:53,708 --> 00:04:58,458
We got one song, it's about rock 'n' roll,
but it's a metaphor for sex.
85
00:04:58,542 --> 00:05:00,333
[chuckles] It goes,
86
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:03,917
♪ I'm gonna roll you over
And rock you stupid ♪
87
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,500
♪ And leave you there just hummin' ♪
88
00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:12,792
♪ There's a party in my trousers, baby
And everybody's comin' ♪
89
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,875
[chuckles] You get it?
Ask me how I'm spelling "comin'"?
90
00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:18,667
-How are you spelling "comin'"?
-C-U-M-I-N.
91
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:19,875
That's cumin.
92
00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:21,167
Double M. Think.
93
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,667
It's... So, yeah.
94
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:25,583
[chuckles] That sort of coming.
95
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:26,833
[lips smacking]
96
00:05:26,917 --> 00:05:27,917
Well, not with...
97
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,125
But with... You know.
Although some women do...
98
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:33,750
squirt.
99
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:35,667
Don't know what.
100
00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:38,958
Juice.
101
00:05:39,875 --> 00:05:40,875
No one knows.
102
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:43,791
Right, see you later.
103
00:05:44,708 --> 00:05:46,458
You know, we're top salesmen here.
104
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,541
Sort of like the dream team,
some of these guys.
105
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:52,500
-Jezza. Just biggin' you up.
-Sorry, mate, I'm talking, what?
106
00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:55,333
He's great when he's out with the clients.
They love him, but...
107
00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:57,833
{\an8}I don't know...
He's like a kid, he wants attention.
108
00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:00,708
{\an8}You see a man that age
and you think, "What are you doing?"
109
00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:03,083
Lovely Serena again.
The one that plays hard to get.
110
00:06:03,666 --> 00:06:04,958
-Please, Brent.
-No.
111
00:06:05,041 --> 00:06:07,333
[Serena] I can't stand him.
I know how that looks.
112
00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:09,666
I know in your documentary thing
113
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:12,583
{\an8}you're just gonna paint me out
to be, like, the bitch, but...
114
00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:14,875
{\an8}if I give him an inch, that's it.
115
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,083
Here's the boss.
116
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:20,375
Keeping an eye on us
is, uh, head of sales, Andy Chapman.
117
00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:22,791
I used to have my own office.
118
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:24,541
Better than that in a way.
119
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:28,875
I prefer it out here with the troops
because we have a laugh.
120
00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:33,167
I'm sort of my own boss,
but we're all equal, so anything goes.
121
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:34,708
I'm one of the lads.
122
00:06:35,291 --> 00:06:36,458
What's he doing?
123
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:41,458
-Ah, Mr. Brent. [laughing]
-[laughing] "Ah, Mr. Brent."
124
00:06:41,542 --> 00:06:43,542
-What is that?
-Fuck knows.
125
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,583
-[both laughing]
-"Fuck knows."
126
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:48,292
Oh, my God,
I have to sit next to this nutter.
127
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,167
Fuck know... Fuck nose.
128
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:51,875
You want a pun war with me?
129
00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:54,542
I love puns.
Highest form of wit in my opinion.
130
00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:57,416
[David] Nigel gets it
'cause he's a bit cooler, like me,
131
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,958
not a corporate stuffed shirt.
132
00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:00,542
He's a mentalist. [chuckles]
133
00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:03,458
Maracas.
These are my knackers, more like.
134
00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:05,542
[laughing] Bollocks.
135
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,333
Look, aren't my plums a bit red,
Doctor? [laughing]
136
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:11,708
Turn round and see plums in your face.
137
00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:14,167
Top banta. They call us Bant and Dec.
Don't they?
138
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,750
-Well, we sometimes call ourselves that.
-Yeah.
139
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:18,042
And Brentertainment.
140
00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:20,417
-That's more you.
-You're in. Come here.
141
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,875
[both imitating blows landing]
142
00:07:25,458 --> 00:07:27,458
[Nigel] David's David, isn't he?
143
00:07:27,541 --> 00:07:30,000
He's... He's a lovely bloke.
I think he's brilliant.
144
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,875
Makes me laugh anyway.
I know most people don't get him...
145
00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:35,708
{\an8}but I do.
146
00:07:35,791 --> 00:07:38,166
{\an8}Most people don't get me, but he does.
147
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,541
It's nice.
It's good that we've found each other.
148
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:43,208
He's gonna help me showcase
some of my comedy characters.
149
00:07:43,292 --> 00:07:45,583
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Aren't you? Trying to get that done.
150
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:48,208
-Got one character called Lionel Fancy.
-[laughing]
151
00:07:48,292 --> 00:07:50,125
[as Lionel] Oh hello,
my name's Lionel Fancy.
152
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,333
[normal] His catchphrase is,
[as Lionel] "Chance'd be a fine thing."
153
00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:55,416
-[normal] It works with anything.
-It does.
154
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,875
Just say something to me.
155
00:07:56,958 --> 00:07:58,958
All right, Lionel? What you up to today?
156
00:07:59,541 --> 00:08:02,041
No. Say, "All right, Lionel,
I'm making dinner.
157
00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:04,541
Do you want something hot inside you?"
[as Lionel] Oh, hello.
158
00:08:04,625 --> 00:08:06,458
All right, Lionel, I'm making dinner.
159
00:08:06,958 --> 00:08:10,083
-Fancy something hot inside you?
-Chance'd be a fine thing.
160
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:11,667
[David and Nigel laughing]
161
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:13,833
All right, Lionel,
are you worried about AIDS?
162
00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:15,208
[normal] Don't say that.
163
00:08:15,292 --> 00:08:19,667
I got one, uh, character
called Dopey O'Leary. An Irishman.
164
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,083
[David] I like making people laugh.
165
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,458
Sue me. [chuckles]
166
00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:26,291
I like making people feel,
more importantly.
167
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:30,708
Comedy, music, poetry, philosophy,
whatever, you know.
168
00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:32,625
I get inside your head.
169
00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:34,167
Maybe get inside your heart.
170
00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:37,083
I got one character [chuckles]
called Ho Lee Fuk.
171
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,958
-Ooh, no.
-It's all right. It's not swearing.
172
00:08:39,041 --> 00:08:40,625
That's his name. He's a little Chinaman.
173
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:41,875
[Nigel] Clever.
174
00:08:41,958 --> 00:08:43,792
[as Ho Lee Fuk] Hello,
my name's Ho Lee Fuk.
175
00:08:43,875 --> 00:08:45,625
[laughing]
176
00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:49,083
I'm not weird-looking.
You're the weird-looking one.
177
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:52,833
[normal] From the Chinaman's perspective,
at last, I flipped it.
178
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:53,917
Oh, you fripped it.
179
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,125
-He's fripped it.
-[laughs]
180
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,291
-This is why we get on. Same level.
-Hang on.
181
00:08:57,375 --> 00:09:00,333
Can you fucking keep it down? Yeah.
Can you keep it down?
182
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:03,083
-David? Can I have a word?
-Huh? Yeah.
183
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:04,166
[Nigel] What you want?
184
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:07,333
[as Ho Lee Fuk] What you want?
Sirry rady. [laughs]
185
00:09:07,417 --> 00:09:10,375
I'm sure you didn't mean
to cause offense, David.
186
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:14,667
But, as you know, we have to consider
everyone's feelings in the workplace.
187
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,708
Yeah. Correctamundo.
188
00:09:16,792 --> 00:09:20,250
{\an8}You're happy to propagate
a stereotype of Irish people
189
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:24,750
{\an8}being educationally subnormal
or gay people being ridiculously camp?
190
00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:28,541
Well, I never actually specify
whether he is a homosexual or not.
191
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,083
So that's in your mind.
192
00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:32,541
What about telling sexist jokes to women?
193
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:35,208
Oh, you're saying I should only
tell them to men? Sexist.
194
00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:38,375
No. I'm saying
you shouldn't tell sexist jokes at all.
195
00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:39,750
Oh, okay.
196
00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:43,000
-You said something about bras?
-Yeah, just harmless fun.
197
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,083
Go on.
198
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:47,250
What's the definition of a glass bra?
Smash and grab. Honk, honk.
199
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,500
Violence against women
is seldom a laughing matter.
200
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:50,750
Where's the violence?
201
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:54,000
You're smashing a woman's bra,
and then you're grabbing her breasts.
202
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:57,208
Not literally. In a joke.
And the violence isn't the funny bit.
203
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,250
What is the funny bit, David?
204
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,791
Um... Honk, honk.
205
00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:04,417
Funny noise, funny organs.
206
00:10:06,416 --> 00:10:08,125
-So...
-I don't think it warrants
207
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,041
any formal disciplinary action.
208
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:11,666
-Shame. [chuckles]
-Uh...
209
00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:13,958
-It can be arranged.
-Oh.
210
00:10:14,042 --> 00:10:16,292
-But as I said, be aware...
-Hmm? I will.
211
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:17,541
and sensitive to difference.
212
00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:20,333
Ah, you'll see how sensitive
I am to difference.
213
00:10:20,416 --> 00:10:24,250
Get a cab then.
I'll pay you back when you get here.
214
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:28,625
Because I need you to.
Trust me, it'll be fun.
215
00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:31,167
All right. Call when you get here.
216
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:32,875
All right, cheers. Bye.
217
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:35,375
[sighs]
218
00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:37,958
So...
219
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:40,958
Miriam is going to eat humble pie.
220
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,625
Not the pie she's used to. [chuckles]
221
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:46,250
I mean, she's slightly overweight
and likes apple pie.
222
00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:50,292
Not hairy pie.
She's a lezzer. I mean...
223
00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:53,667
{\an8}It's like having a 15-year-old kid
in the office, you know?
224
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:56,625
-Your lack of humor warning.
-[horn honking]
225
00:10:56,708 --> 00:10:59,500
[Andy] I find him an irritant.
I shut my door when I hear him,
226
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,583
because... It just puts me off my work.
227
00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:05,208
Where am I supposed to be?
I'm, like, in reception.
228
00:11:05,292 --> 00:11:07,125
Here. I'm down here.
229
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,250
[chuckles]
230
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,208
-Flippin' hell.
-[David] Come here.
231
00:11:11,292 --> 00:11:17,125
I was just in a meeting with, uh, Miriam.
It's, uh, my black friend.
232
00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:18,375
-So...
-[Dom] What?
233
00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:23,666
that's what I've been...
Mixed race, actually. My favorite.
234
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,125
His dad was black, his mum was white.
Get over it.
235
00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:28,750
-My dad was white. My mum was black.
-Oh. [chuckles]
236
00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:30,833
Even more different. Her face.
237
00:11:30,916 --> 00:11:32,833
-[Dom] Let's not...
-[David] I've been trying to say...
238
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:37,833
{\an8}I first met David...
239
00:11:37,916 --> 00:11:41,708
{\an8}I was rapping in this open mic thing
in a pub in Slough.
240
00:11:41,791 --> 00:11:43,625
It's, you know, where we're both from.
241
00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:46,791
And he came over
and said he wanted to manage me.
242
00:11:46,875 --> 00:11:51,083
You know? I mean, I didn't know
at the time he was a sales rep. [mutters]
243
00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:52,750
-Is that it?
-Yeah.
244
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,375
-It's the only reason I'm here?
-Yeah.
245
00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:56,125
[David] It's important. You off?
246
00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,208
It's just my mate.
247
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:05,500
Going off on tour.
248
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:07,792
-Him?
-Yeah.
249
00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:09,208
Okay.
250
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:10,958
So, yeah.
251
00:12:11,042 --> 00:12:12,167
That's cool.
252
00:12:14,292 --> 00:12:15,333
Yeah.
253
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:21,250
I've booked a session today
in a top-notch recording studio.
254
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:22,833
-[man] Hello?
-David.
255
00:12:22,917 --> 00:12:24,625
[door buzzing]
256
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:25,833
Here we go.
257
00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:27,667
[breathes heavily]
258
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,792
-Studio.
-[music playing]
259
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:32,583
[David] I love making demos.
I do it a lot, you know.
260
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:35,458
It not only gives the record company
an idea of what I can do.
261
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:37,791
It gives me an idea of what I could do,
and that's the buzz.
262
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,958
Dan. My usual engineer.
263
00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:45,000
[Dan] I've done one session with Dom.
It was meant to be with Dom.
264
00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:49,250
[Dom] It started off he was kind of
managing me and, um, he was paying
265
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,875
for me to make my demos, which was cool.
And then,
266
00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:54,458
suddenly, like,
he wanted to co-write songs
267
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:58,583
and then before I knew it, he was, like,
doing his own songs and saying,
268
00:12:58,666 --> 00:13:00,791
"Will you do a rap on this,
do a rap on that?"
269
00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:05,708
And now it's like some kind
of Ebony and Ivory, urban sidekick deal.
270
00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:07,750
Okay, I'm gonna cut the bullshit.
271
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:10,208
-That would be great, yeah.
-I'm head-hunting.
272
00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:11,500
Putting a tour together.
273
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,583
Do you wanna be part of that?
Drive the gang?
274
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,625
On stage sound. Roadie.
275
00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:18,292
-What sort of tour?
-Showcasing the band.
276
00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:20,917
Also hotels, rider.
277
00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:23,833
So it's work and food
and somewhere to sleep?
278
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,792
Here we go.
Playing hardball. Yeah?
279
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,583
-Are we talking bunse?
-We're certainly not talking English.
280
00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:33,416
-What do you earn here?
-That's not the issue.
281
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:34,833
I'll double it.
282
00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:36,875
Really?
283
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,250
I never dreamt he'd be on that much.
284
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:42,958
It's a bit annoying.
It eats up the budget. [grunts]
285
00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:44,875
But you pay people well,
286
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,792
they wanna do a good job
and they wanna keep their job.
287
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:50,458
So... I'll just cash in another pension.
288
00:13:50,541 --> 00:13:52,750
That's what I've been doing
to finance all this.
289
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:56,583
I took out a lot of private pensions
in the '90s, you know.
290
00:13:56,666 --> 00:13:59,541
And some of them are worth
as much as I've put in now, so...
291
00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:01,458
And I would have spent that money by now.
292
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,625
And now I am gonna spend it
on rock 'n' roll. [chuckles]
293
00:14:04,708 --> 00:14:06,458
But keep the drums sounding big though.
294
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,208
[Dom] David is... He's on-site.
295
00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:13,750
Deep down he's supporting me,
and I'm sure he'd love to see me do well.
296
00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:19,833
It's not a lot right now, but, you know,
see how this tour goes. Never know.
297
00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:22,541
[Dom] There's a similarity there,
you know.
298
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:25,625
I mean, in some ways we're very alike.
299
00:14:25,708 --> 00:14:29,666
Except, you know, he's white and old
and his music is terrible.
300
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:33,208
But, I mean, we're both just trying
to make it, you know,
301
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:38,000
I'm just not...
not 100% sure what his "it" is.
302
00:14:47,416 --> 00:14:48,416
Bit of a cock-up.
303
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:52,916
[chuckles] I've only got four days
actual holiday leave left.
304
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,458
So I've gotta take 11 days unpaid.
305
00:14:55,542 --> 00:14:56,542
-Yeah.
-So...
306
00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:58,958
That's all right, you know, sort of.
307
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:01,500
This is a holiday.
It's what I love doing, so...
308
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:06,958
If I get signed, it's all been worth it.
Er, so my last day is next Friday.
309
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,583
Yeah. Make sure your clients
are covered for the month
310
00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:10,833
and you're away.
311
00:15:10,917 --> 00:15:13,875
Yeah, I am indeed. [chuckles]
312
00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:17,041
-Back on the phones then.
-Yeah. [chuckles] Back on the phone.
313
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,583
[Andy] It's daft. Wasting his holiday
in trying to be a pop star.
314
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:24,000
He'd be far better off, you know,
having a couple of weeks in Marbella.
315
00:15:24,208 --> 00:15:25,875
Relax, nice tan...
316
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,958
Still, his money, his life, innit?
317
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:31,000
-It's on. Yeah.
-[Nigel] Ooh.
318
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:32,750
Uh...
319
00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:36,625
My last week, next week. Then I'm off.
320
00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:41,458
Got a few more... gigs to book in.
321
00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:43,792
Get the record companies down,
get signed.
322
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:47,791
Bye-bye nine to five. [chuckles]
Sorry. [laughing]
323
00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,833
No. So, rehearsal tomorrow.
324
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:53,541
Wait till you see the band.
Great bunch of kids.
325
00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:55,500
Foregone Conclusion, Mark II.
326
00:15:55,583 --> 00:15:57,041
[Dom imitates guitar]
327
00:15:57,125 --> 00:16:01,250
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
328
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:03,375
[David] I did try and get
the old crew back together,
329
00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:07,125
but, um, they hadn't really weathered
as well as me. [chuckles]
330
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,625
Reggie Mental.
331
00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:12,333
He can't drum any more.
His back's gone.
332
00:16:12,417 --> 00:16:15,667
He's on painkillers
and physio, permanently, you know.
333
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,958
He's basically an invalid now.
334
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:19,958
From that.
335
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:22,917
[sighs] Jack.
336
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:27,125
He's married now with four kids.
Look at him there.
337
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:28,750
Under the thumb.
338
00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:31,833
I bumped into him in Reading,
down the Oracle.
339
00:16:31,916 --> 00:16:34,500
He was shopping with his wife,
holding hands with kids,
340
00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:37,167
carrying shopping,
papoose with a new baby in it.
341
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,417
And he looked at me,
342
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,875
and he didn't literally say it out loud,
because his wife was there,
343
00:16:41,958 --> 00:16:45,458
but I could see in his eyes,
he was saying, "Kill me."
344
00:16:45,541 --> 00:16:46,375
Uh...
345
00:16:47,042 --> 00:16:48,167
From that.
346
00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:53,208
And the saddest of all... Mammogram.
347
00:16:54,417 --> 00:16:56,083
Real name, Craig Monkford.
348
00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:59,167
Wow, great guy. Brilliant guitarist.
349
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:02,750
Life and soul of the party.
And he knew how to party. [chuckles]
350
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:06,000
His nickname is from the fact
that he'd always turn up to your door
351
00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:08,125
with a different girl with big boobs.
352
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:10,708
So, nothing to do with cancer, um...
353
00:17:10,791 --> 00:17:15,250
But he is now doing two years
for 11 different counts of sexual assault.
354
00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:19,583
Hiya. [sighs]
355
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,458
[band playing]
356
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:27,750
Saturday, innit? So...
357
00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:32,125
Rehearsals.
Yeah, this is where it all happens.
358
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:34,708
This is the last one, actually,
before the tour.
359
00:17:34,791 --> 00:17:39,208
That's all booked. [chuckles]
Well, I got six or seven gigs in.
360
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:44,208
Still a few gaps. I'll be filling those.
I've got... looking for opportunities.
361
00:17:44,292 --> 00:17:45,667
Um...
362
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:48,500
If not, I'll have a day off. [chuckles]
363
00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:51,708
That always helps with the old tonsils.
364
00:17:52,042 --> 00:17:53,042
So...
365
00:17:54,792 --> 00:17:56,000
Anyway...
366
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,250
Keep the noise down.
[chuckles] Nah, turn it up.
367
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:03,083
Let's rock.
368
00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:06,792
Yeah, boom, that's perfect.
And then, like, eight bars of this. Yeah?
369
00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:09,292
[David] Whassup?
370
00:18:09,375 --> 00:18:12,083
Come on,
let's do some work now then. [laughing]
371
00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:16,083
Here's the band.
Foregone Conclusion, Mark II.
372
00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:19,625
-He's not in it. He's just, you know--
-We're just gonna, um, finish this.
373
00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:21,833
Yeah, let's do some... You know him.
374
00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:25,625
Look. He's already at work.
I gave him the gig. [laughs]
375
00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:27,208
Stu Monkford.
376
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,792
Mammogram's nephew
I was telling you about.
377
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:33,250
What do you call a bloke
who hangs round with musicians?
378
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,958
The drummer. [laughing]
379
00:18:36,041 --> 00:18:40,000
Andy. We have got Mike and Steve.
They're brothers.
380
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:43,750
Don't look alike, do they?
The beard's different.
381
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:47,750
{\an8}I guess like with most session musicians,
you get, like, a call...
382
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:51,125
{\an8}gets put in to your agent,
and they, um, you know, say,
383
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:53,666
"Are you available?
Is it something you wanna do?"
384
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:56,750
Um, in this case, not particularly,
385
00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:58,666
but at the same time,
you go where the money goes
386
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:02,833
because you can't ever guarantee
when the next lot of work's gonna come in.
387
00:19:02,916 --> 00:19:04,333
[Andy] For us, it's just
388
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:06,250
we're out, we're getting paid,
and we're playing.
389
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:07,583
Let's do it. Let's rock.
390
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:11,000
What shall we do?
Let's do, um, "Ooh La La."
391
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,000
Um...
392
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,708
-I'm not in that one.
-He's not in this one.
393
00:19:14,792 --> 00:19:15,792
[David chuckles]
394
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,208
Starts with an acoustic.
395
00:19:24,417 --> 00:19:27,000
♪ Sold my shack in Memphis ♪
396
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,833
♪ Bought me a Chevrolet ♪
397
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:34,917
♪ Six string in the back
And a bottle of Jack ♪
398
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,083
♪ And I headed down to Mexico way ♪
399
00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:42,833
♪ Singing ooh la la la ♪
400
00:19:42,917 --> 00:19:46,750
♪ Ooh la la la la lay ♪
401
00:19:46,833 --> 00:19:51,125
♪ Ooh la la la la la la la ♪
402
00:19:51,208 --> 00:19:53,958
♪ It's a beautiful day ♪
403
00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:00,833
Okay. Let's do it.
404
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,833
-I'll send a check.
-[David] I've been putting all the gigs in
405
00:20:04,916 --> 00:20:07,833
Hopefully I'll get
a solid three-week block.
406
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,792
I'll get to work on it, promoting it.
407
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,000
That we can build, and get A&R along.
408
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:16,541
Um, but, you know, the...
the tour's shaping up.
409
00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:19,958
I'm the artist and the manager.
I have to book the hotels.
410
00:20:20,042 --> 00:20:23,667
The old credit card has taken
a bit of a hammering. [chuckles]
411
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:25,167
My flexible friend.
412
00:20:30,958 --> 00:20:35,375
Yeah, um...
They're gonna be gutted when I'm gone.
413
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:39,542
But at the same time,
they know it's what I want and deserve.
414
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:44,042
Hence, they're gonna be happy for me.
So, mixed emotions.
415
00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:49,333
Right, I better say goodbye to everyone
before I [chuckles] jet off.
416
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:52,625
Um, I hope they haven't made a big fuss.
417
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,708
You know what I mean?
It's not like I'm going forever.
418
00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:57,125
Even if I get signed,
I'm gonna pop in. But...
419
00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:58,292
Oh...
420
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
See you later, guys. I'm off on tour.
421
00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:03,583
Keep selling. Where's Nigel?
422
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,916
-He's out selling.
-Is he?
423
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:08,375
-Is he really?
-Yeah.
424
00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:10,292
-Where is he?
-Maidenhead.
425
00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:12,958
All right. Good.
426
00:21:13,042 --> 00:21:16,625
Ah, thought so. You... [laughs]
427
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:18,958
We did this to Pete Gibbons.
428
00:21:19,042 --> 00:21:20,250
He thought we hadn't done anything,
429
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,792
and we got a massive whip-round going,
and we, um, we got him a...
430
00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:26,375
"Break a leg, Pauline."
It is just from you, is it?
431
00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:28,083
{\an8}-Yeah.
-All right.
432
00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:30,375
{\an8}[Pauline] It's exciting, really, for him.
433
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:32,625
{\an8}The office is gonna be a bit quiet
434
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:36,666
{\an8}which is gonna be a shame.
Brings a little sparkle. [chuckles]
435
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,750
-Is he really out selling?
-Yeah.
436
00:21:38,833 --> 00:21:40,083
-Is he?
-[softly] yeah.
437
00:21:44,792 --> 00:21:47,417
[Karen] When he walks in,
you don't know what he's gonna say,
438
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:50,667
and... he does brighten up
my day a little bit.
439
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:51,792
Is Nigel out selling?
440
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:53,500
{\an8}He might try to be funny,
441
00:21:53,583 --> 00:21:57,708
{\an8}and not... maybe people
don't find him funny, but I do.
442
00:21:57,791 --> 00:22:00,916
Right. That's 'cause I said to him
I don't want a fuss, so he went...
443
00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:02,792
So he didn't, er...
444
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,542
First gig, Monday.
445
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:09,000
[Pauline] Have a nice time.
446
00:22:09,083 --> 00:22:10,041
Yeah.
447
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,000
[David] Right.
448
00:22:16,833 --> 00:22:17,875
See you.
449
00:22:19,667 --> 00:22:20,750
[chuckles]
450
00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:22,000
Oh...
451
00:22:22,666 --> 00:22:23,875
-See you later.
-[Karen] Bye.
452
00:22:23,958 --> 00:22:25,750
Bye. Bye.
453
00:22:43,166 --> 00:22:46,833
[David] This isn't like, you know,
when I left Wernham Hogg.
454
00:22:47,375 --> 00:22:51,500
I was the head of that family.
A lot more emotional for everyone.
455
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:56,333
Being made redundant,
and the whole fame thing,
456
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,000
that got to me a bit.
457
00:22:58,833 --> 00:23:00,417
I had a nervous breakdown.
458
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:07,166
[stammers] I spent a little bit
of time in a... a facility.
459
00:23:07,833 --> 00:23:09,750
Voluntary, you know.
460
00:23:09,833 --> 00:23:11,416
But, nah, not for me.
461
00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:14,958
[sighs] I practice the ancient medical art
of "bloody pull yourself together, mate."
462
00:23:15,042 --> 00:23:16,083
[laughs]
463
00:23:16,167 --> 00:23:19,458
So, I was on Prozac for about six months.
464
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,916
Er, ballooned up to about 16 stone
at one point.
465
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,292
I'd given up.
466
00:23:24,375 --> 00:23:28,125
The lads started calling me Brentasaurus.
[chuckles] All good fun.
467
00:23:28,208 --> 00:23:32,083
Not at the time. I burst into tears...
and wanted to kill myself.
468
00:23:32,167 --> 00:23:33,167
[sighs]
469
00:23:33,250 --> 00:23:35,500
But I turned it round, you know.
470
00:23:36,417 --> 00:23:37,458
Got fit.
471
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,333
Inside and out.
472
00:23:40,417 --> 00:23:41,500
-Hi.
-Hi, David.
473
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:43,791
-Hi, Sandra.
-And I found myself again,
474
00:23:44,375 --> 00:23:48,250
and I started to do what I do best,
entertain.
475
00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:51,083
Triple threat. Music, comedy, wisdom.
476
00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:53,583
-Would you like to go out for a coffee?
-No.
477
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:56,375
-She is mental, isn't she?
-Well...
478
00:23:56,458 --> 00:23:58,125
A proper loon. A dead bee.
479
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,583
{\an8}-[Dr. Keating] How are you?
-[David] Brilliant. Never felt better.
480
00:24:00,667 --> 00:24:04,708
Happiest I've been, probably,
doing these sessions with a professional.
481
00:24:04,792 --> 00:24:06,417
Now I decided to sort everything out.
482
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:10,042
Body, mind, and spirit. I've done that,
so... I'm empowered now.
483
00:24:10,125 --> 00:24:12,875
Power in the, not the political sense,
or, you know...
484
00:24:12,958 --> 00:24:15,000
[chuckles] but I mean, inner strength.
485
00:24:15,083 --> 00:24:17,000
That's what I think it is.
Mind power, really, isn't it?
486
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:18,875
It's willpower, um...
487
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:23,000
And, uh, you know, am I a free willist?
I'm a do-as-thou-willist.
488
00:24:23,083 --> 00:24:25,041
So, it does make...
It makes sense up there--
489
00:24:25,125 --> 00:24:26,000
-David...
-Go on.
490
00:24:27,208 --> 00:24:28,750
-Have you had the dream again?
-No.
491
00:24:30,708 --> 00:24:31,750
No.
492
00:24:37,583 --> 00:24:40,292
So what do you wanna talk about? Shoot.
493
00:24:40,375 --> 00:24:41,833
-Don't read into that.
-[chuckles] Okay--
494
00:24:41,916 --> 00:24:44,041
No, I thought...
When I said it, I thought of...
495
00:24:44,125 --> 00:24:45,125
Don't matter.
496
00:24:46,083 --> 00:24:48,417
Okay, um...
So what do you want to talk about?
497
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,333
-That's what we're here for--
-The band.
498
00:24:50,625 --> 00:24:51,916
-The band? Of course.
-Yeah.
499
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,708
-Tell me about the band.
-That's what's happening.
500
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:56,250
-Yeah?
-We're going on tour. Great bunch of guys.
501
00:24:56,333 --> 00:24:58,708
And we're... I've booked some gigs.
502
00:24:58,791 --> 00:25:00,916
Taken the time off work,
503
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,875
and gonna get A&R people along,
get signed, put an album out.
504
00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:06,708
-Mmm-hmm. Can I ask a question?
-Go on.
505
00:25:06,791 --> 00:25:08,458
What happens
if you don't get a record deal?
506
00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:11,083
-Failure is not an option.
-Well, it is, isn't it?
507
00:25:11,167 --> 00:25:12,292
[clicks tongue]
508
00:25:13,333 --> 00:25:16,375
She's meant to big me up...
make me feel better.
509
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:19,458
But it's all like,
"Oh, what if you fail? Be prepared."
510
00:25:19,541 --> 00:25:22,291
What a downer.
She doesn't mind me throwing money at her.
511
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:25,083
At least I enjoy my music.
Do you know what I mean?
512
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:26,625
She makes me nervous.
Always writing notes.
513
00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:27,875
"What's she writing?"
514
00:25:27,958 --> 00:25:30,542
She could write anything.
"He's a pervert. He's a loser."
515
00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:32,333
Gives me the creeps to be honest...
516
00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:35,625
Next week, yeah. See you later.
Bye.
517
00:25:39,125 --> 00:25:40,666
That's the tour outfit.
518
00:25:41,292 --> 00:25:43,958
I try to incorporate
all my influences there, really.
519
00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,333
It's a bit new romantic but modern.
520
00:25:46,416 --> 00:25:49,958
A bit Bublé. A bit David Essex.
521
00:25:51,667 --> 00:25:53,042
We're nearly there.
522
00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:55,917
Off on tour. Getting everything ready.
523
00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:59,208
Yeah, I get an adrenaline rush
when I think about it.
524
00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:02,916
And that's not fear.
That's like, "Let's do this."
525
00:26:04,875 --> 00:26:06,708
[indistinct conversations]
526
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:10,583
Let's book a string of gigs.
527
00:26:10,667 --> 00:26:13,292
Book a tour bus. Beautiful tour bus.
528
00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:15,750
Top-of-the-range. State-of-the-art.
529
00:26:15,833 --> 00:26:17,583
Air-conditioning, bunks.
530
00:26:17,666 --> 00:26:22,166
It's like a party on wheels. [laughs]
Oh, God, I hope we get some sleep.
531
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:29,416
I'm up and down the country all the time.
On the road is where I really come alive.
532
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:33,791
So, just swapping the old Insignia
for the tour bus. [chuckles]
533
00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:35,875
Here we go! [laughing]
534
00:26:36,875 --> 00:26:38,083
Oh...
535
00:26:40,416 --> 00:26:43,750
Whassup? [laughing]
536
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:46,125
[sighs]
537
00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:47,667
See you later.
538
00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:49,250
Ah...
539
00:26:49,333 --> 00:26:51,083
[engine starting]
540
00:26:51,166 --> 00:26:55,375
There's not a lot of room on there,
so we think it's better I follow behind.
541
00:26:55,458 --> 00:26:57,333
Good idea, in a way. [chuckles]
542
00:26:58,375 --> 00:26:59,667
Whassup...
543
00:27:08,667 --> 00:27:10,500
Quite expensive, that bus.
544
00:27:10,583 --> 00:27:12,458
So, I think they'll enjoy it.
545
00:27:13,542 --> 00:27:18,167
No, it's right that the lead singer
gets his own vehicle.
546
00:27:18,250 --> 00:27:20,458
I think they're thinking of me...
547
00:27:20,542 --> 00:27:24,542
If my headspace is right,
then the performance is better.
548
00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:25,917
Clever.
549
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:45,208
Hotel. [chuckles]
550
00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:49,958
Oh, life on the road. Love it.
551
00:27:50,042 --> 00:27:51,292
It's all here.
552
00:27:52,875 --> 00:27:56,833
Tea, coffee, TV, bed.
553
00:27:58,250 --> 00:27:59,458
Just wanna sit down.
554
00:28:00,583 --> 00:28:03,125
Desk, mirror.
555
00:28:05,292 --> 00:28:06,833
[switches dryer on and off]
556
00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:12,000
Look at that.
557
00:28:20,917 --> 00:28:22,042
It's all here.
558
00:28:23,375 --> 00:28:24,875
Ah, all right.
559
00:28:26,083 --> 00:28:26,916
Sound check.
560
00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:30,875
[David] I love sound checks.
561
00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:33,417
Checking all the sound and...
562
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:34,833
I love being backstage.
563
00:28:36,250 --> 00:28:38,916
And the band have insisted
I have my own dressing room,
564
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,875
which is... Yeah.
565
00:28:40,958 --> 00:28:42,250
So, yeah.
566
00:28:42,333 --> 00:28:43,291
[chuckles]
567
00:28:43,375 --> 00:28:44,792
[band members laughing]
568
00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:47,833
-[man] Oh, my days.
-[indistinct conversations]
569
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:52,666
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Let's go and say hello.
570
00:28:54,542 --> 00:28:56,458
[chuckles and mumbles]
571
00:29:03,167 --> 00:29:04,333
Drugs raid!
572
00:29:04,417 --> 00:29:05,458
[chuckles]
573
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,958
Your faces...
[mutters and laughs]
574
00:29:09,542 --> 00:29:11,167
No. [clicks tongue]
575
00:29:11,791 --> 00:29:13,000
They don't do drugs.
576
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,958
Unless you count alcohol.
That is a drug, innit? So...
577
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:22,083
That's what makes me laugh,
all this, "Ban marijuana."
578
00:29:22,167 --> 00:29:23,208
Shut up.
579
00:29:23,791 --> 00:29:26,125
Ban it? Why? It's a drug, yeah?
580
00:29:26,208 --> 00:29:27,917
So is your white wine.
581
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,708
[David chuckles] Oh...
582
00:29:32,292 --> 00:29:33,583
Just a bit of weed.
583
00:29:35,292 --> 00:29:37,375
Likkle bit of herb, innit?
584
00:29:41,292 --> 00:29:43,833
-What, you just chilling out?
-[band members] Yeah.
585
00:29:43,917 --> 00:29:45,083
Don't blame you.
586
00:29:45,875 --> 00:29:49,041
I think I'm gonna go and... [chuckles]
See you later.
587
00:29:49,125 --> 00:29:50,458
[door creaking]
588
00:29:56,708 --> 00:29:58,083
That's bad, innit?
589
00:30:00,791 --> 00:30:01,916
-[Dan] Wanna close it?
-Huh?
590
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,666
-Just close the door.
-Yeah.
591
00:30:04,667 --> 00:30:06,333
That needs oiling.
592
00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:12,333
[all chuckling]
593
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,541
Can we get a bit of bass?
594
00:30:15,041 --> 00:30:16,125
Two.
595
00:30:16,375 --> 00:30:18,292
Two. One, two.
596
00:30:18,375 --> 00:30:19,458
One, two.
597
00:30:20,083 --> 00:30:22,916
[David] Oh! Oh, yeah.
598
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,458
[instruments playing]
599
00:30:24,541 --> 00:30:26,666
Yeah! Let's go and get some beers.
600
00:30:26,750 --> 00:30:28,750
You might as well stay up there,
as you're on in two minutes.
601
00:30:28,833 --> 00:30:29,833
Really?
602
00:30:29,917 --> 00:30:31,917
-When do they open the doors?
-They're open.
603
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,208
No one's come through
to see the first band on.
604
00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:36,291
Uh... We, uh...
605
00:30:36,916 --> 00:30:39,041
Can you tell them
they can come in for free?
606
00:30:39,125 --> 00:30:42,000
-Well, you won't make any money.
-I know, but we want a crowd.
607
00:30:42,083 --> 00:30:43,167
All right. [sighs]
608
00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:46,500
Oh, God.
609
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:49,791
I haven't even time
to change into my stage gear.
610
00:30:51,583 --> 00:30:54,292
It's good that I'm always
sort of dressed for rock, isn't it?
611
00:30:54,375 --> 00:30:55,708
[chuckles]
612
00:30:55,792 --> 00:30:58,042
-[Dom] Double denim?
-Yeah.
613
00:30:58,125 --> 00:31:00,333
-[Dom] I never double denim.
-Always double denim.
614
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:02,916
[David] Here they come. Come on in.
615
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,500
Welcome to
Foregone Conclusion, Mark II. [chuckles]
616
00:31:06,583 --> 00:31:09,916
Not the original band. Um, long story.
617
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,750
Little bit of trivia though.
618
00:31:11,833 --> 00:31:13,833
Mammogram's nephew, Stu Monkford.
619
00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:18,458
Yeah. Got all his uncle's skills.
Not the sexual assault.
620
00:31:19,250 --> 00:31:21,500
He hasn't any... Not yet, anyway.
621
00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:24,000
His uncle didn't start till he was 40,
which is weird.
622
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:27,708
But as of now,
this dude has not raped anyone.
623
00:31:29,333 --> 00:31:30,875
Just do the songs, David.
624
00:31:34,042 --> 00:31:37,500
♪ Sold my shack in Memphis ♪
625
00:31:37,583 --> 00:31:40,375
♪ Bought me a Chevrolet ♪
626
00:31:41,292 --> 00:31:44,708
♪ Six string in the back
And a bottle of Jack ♪
627
00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:48,125
♪ And I headed down to Mexico way ♪
628
00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:51,583
♪ Singing ooh la la la ♪
629
00:31:52,417 --> 00:31:55,500
♪ Ooh la la la la lay ♪
630
00:31:56,292 --> 00:32:00,458
♪ Ooh la la la la la la la ♪
631
00:32:00,542 --> 00:32:02,625
♪ It's a beautiful day ♪
632
00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,417
Guitar solo.
633
00:32:09,708 --> 00:32:10,792
Back to back.
634
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,250
He went down. Tried to style it out.
635
00:32:29,125 --> 00:32:30,208
Just can't believe it.
636
00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:36,833
[band stops playing]
637
00:32:36,917 --> 00:32:39,583
-I fell over.
-[Dan] Yeah, I know.
638
00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:41,625
-Do you think they noticed?
-Yes.
639
00:32:43,041 --> 00:32:46,791
{\an8}I'm spending three weeks of my life
on tour with this guy. [chuckles]
640
00:32:46,875 --> 00:32:48,458
[rock music playing]
641
00:33:01,583 --> 00:33:02,833
Here we go again.
642
00:33:02,917 --> 00:33:06,333
♪ I work so hard
Just to pay my bills ♪
643
00:33:10,375 --> 00:33:14,083
♪ I play even harder
Yeah, life kills ♪
644
00:33:18,208 --> 00:33:22,625
♪ Now I'm burnin' rubber on the M25 ♪
645
00:33:24,833 --> 00:33:27,333
♪ Got a crazy weekend ♪
646
00:33:27,417 --> 00:33:30,750
♪ Some of us won't make it out alive ♪
647
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:34,625
♪ 'Cause this is my day ♪
648
00:33:36,250 --> 00:33:38,250
♪ Thank fuck it's Friday ♪
649
00:33:40,333 --> 00:33:44,292
"I was worried about this tour,"
he admits.
650
00:33:44,375 --> 00:33:46,917
Yeah. "What if it's a failure?
What if no one comes?
651
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,833
-What if I haven't got what it takes?"
-Yeah.
652
00:33:48,917 --> 00:33:54,542
And then, the ghost of Alexander O'Neal
visited me in a dream one night,
653
00:33:54,625 --> 00:33:56,875
and said, "You have got what it takes,
654
00:33:56,958 --> 00:34:00,708
and you owe it to the world to do this."
So...
655
00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:02,958
But you know that was
just you thinking that?
656
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,208
[David] I was dreaming it.
657
00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:07,792
Well, either way, the ghost
of Alexander O'Neal didn't really come.
658
00:34:07,875 --> 00:34:10,792
Hang on, Alexander O'Neal
isn't even dead, is he?
659
00:34:10,875 --> 00:34:12,667
-Luther Vandross.
-Oh, okay.
660
00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:15,458
It was Luther Vandross, not Alexander,
who is dead,
661
00:34:15,542 --> 00:34:18,083
and one of the best
soul singers that's ever lived.
662
00:34:18,167 --> 00:34:19,167
Or am I...
663
00:34:20,583 --> 00:34:23,416
-No, he's good. He's good.
-[David] From the horse's mouth.
664
00:34:24,791 --> 00:34:25,791
[David] So...
665
00:34:25,875 --> 00:34:27,792
Okay, and did Luther
give you any other advice?
666
00:34:27,875 --> 00:34:29,958
Did he talk about what it was costing?
667
00:34:30,541 --> 00:34:33,583
-Did he--
-No, he just said it's gonna keep going.
668
00:34:33,667 --> 00:34:36,833
So I think that means
this tour is gonna get better and better.
669
00:34:36,916 --> 00:34:38,708
-It's not a tour, though.
-Well...
670
00:34:38,792 --> 00:34:42,000
It's like seven or eight random gigs
over a three-week period.
671
00:34:42,083 --> 00:34:43,250
I couldn't fill all the dates.
672
00:34:43,333 --> 00:34:45,500
But I'm gonna use that time
to create a buzz.
673
00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:48,208
It's about...
It's the whole package with me.
674
00:34:48,292 --> 00:34:51,542
Yeah, but this tour of yours
is over such a contained area
675
00:34:51,625 --> 00:34:53,833
that we end up staying in these hotels,
676
00:34:53,916 --> 00:34:55,916
and you could just drive to each gig.
677
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,291
You know, last night,
678
00:34:57,375 --> 00:35:01,292
the drive from the gig to this hotel
was further than it was to your house.
679
00:35:01,375 --> 00:35:03,292
That's the whole package.
That's what I'm talking about.
680
00:35:03,375 --> 00:35:05,583
Do you know how many tickets
we've sold for the next gig?
681
00:35:05,667 --> 00:35:08,292
-Do you wanna have a guess?
-Not many. But don't worry about that,
682
00:35:08,375 --> 00:35:13,458
because I've secured an interview
on a radio station to sort all that out.
683
00:35:13,541 --> 00:35:15,291
-[Dom] Radio 1?
-No.
684
00:35:15,458 --> 00:35:16,916
-[Dom] Absolute?
-No.
685
00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:18,833
-[Dom] Is it Capital--
-Tadley FM.
686
00:35:18,917 --> 00:35:23,500
♪ I lost my heart to a lady gypsy ♪
687
00:35:23,583 --> 00:35:27,458
♪ So long ago I forget her name ♪
688
00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:32,583
♪ But I still remember
The smell of the flowers ♪
689
00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:37,708
♪ And the way my life
Would never be the same ♪
690
00:35:39,625 --> 00:35:41,708
[chuckles] Okay.
691
00:35:41,792 --> 00:35:45,417
That was "Lady Gypsy"
by the chap sitting in front of me.
692
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:48,750
You've never heard that track before
because it's never been released.
693
00:35:48,833 --> 00:35:51,500
It's never been released
because he doesn't have a record deal.
694
00:35:51,583 --> 00:35:54,458
Mmm, who could that be? [laughing]
695
00:35:54,541 --> 00:35:59,333
Well, you've probably never heard of him.
But, uh, stars from reality TV shows,
696
00:35:59,417 --> 00:36:02,458
such as Made In Chelsea
and The Only Way Is Essex,
697
00:36:02,542 --> 00:36:04,500
they're household names these days.
698
00:36:04,583 --> 00:36:08,542
But I am sitting with one
of the original docu-soap stars,
699
00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:10,583
-David Brent.
-Hello.
700
00:36:10,667 --> 00:36:13,167
Now, for our listeners
who've completely forgotten who you are,
701
00:36:13,250 --> 00:36:16,083
which I certainly have.
My bad. Sorry. [laughs]
702
00:36:16,166 --> 00:36:19,666
Or who weren't even born
when The Office was on TV.
703
00:36:19,750 --> 00:36:21,791
You were part of a BBC Two documentary
704
00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:24,500
that followed the life
of a paper merchant in Slough,
705
00:36:24,583 --> 00:36:26,458
-called Wernham Hogg.
-Yeah. That's right. Yeah.
706
00:36:26,541 --> 00:36:29,375
It was a bit like The Call Centre,
and you were a Neville of its day.
707
00:36:29,458 --> 00:36:30,916
Well, I was the regional manager--
708
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000
And how did it feel when people
were just walking around, going,
709
00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:36,792
"Oh, my God, that manager,
he's such an... idiot"?
710
00:36:36,875 --> 00:36:38,083
Well, you know--
711
00:36:38,166 --> 00:36:39,708
-Didn't care?
-No, because--
712
00:36:39,791 --> 00:36:41,958
-You weren't embarrassed?
-No, 'cause not everyone was saying that--
713
00:36:42,041 --> 00:36:43,333
Not even a bit? Quite embarrassing.
714
00:36:43,416 --> 00:36:45,333
A lot of people thought
it was very entertaining--
715
00:36:45,417 --> 00:36:47,792
-Yeah, we love a loser, don't we? [laughs]
-Yeah--
716
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,875
Anyway, you're back,
and you're giving it another go.
717
00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,958
You hoping to change
people's opinions of you this time?
718
00:36:52,041 --> 00:36:53,541
-I'm not doing that--
-I'll tell you what.
719
00:36:53,625 --> 00:36:56,542
Seeing as you're here,
can we just play "Sausage or Pie"?
720
00:36:56,625 --> 00:36:58,541
-What is that?
-We play it with all of our guests.
721
00:36:58,625 --> 00:37:00,291
I say a manufacturer's name,
722
00:37:00,375 --> 00:37:03,750
and you tell me
if it's a sausage or a pie.
723
00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:05,167
-Right. Okay.
-Okay?
724
00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:07,750
You've got seven to knock
Christopher Biggins off the top spot.
725
00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:12,458
Now that guy really knows his sausages
and his pies! [laughing]
726
00:37:12,542 --> 00:37:14,333
-Okay.
-Okay!
727
00:37:14,417 --> 00:37:16,750
-You ready? Pukka?
-Yeah. Okay.
728
00:37:17,041 --> 00:37:19,083
That's wrong. I gotta take
your first answer. It's actually--
729
00:37:19,166 --> 00:37:21,166
-That's a pie.
-I didn't know it was a question.
730
00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:22,583
-Fray Bentos?
-Pie.
731
00:37:22,666 --> 00:37:24,541
Very good. Johnsonville?
732
00:37:24,625 --> 00:37:26,167
-Pie.
-Wrong.
733
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:28,000
It's a sausage.
The clue was in the title, mate.
734
00:37:28,083 --> 00:37:29,625
-Right. Okay.
-[laughing]
735
00:37:29,708 --> 00:37:32,042
You're level with Todd Carty.
Okay. Wing Wah?
736
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:33,500
-Pie.
-Sausage again.
737
00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:36,208
-I'm sorry--
-Where did you get him from? [laughs]
738
00:37:36,291 --> 00:37:38,458
-I thought he'd be good at this.
-No, it's--
739
00:37:38,541 --> 00:37:39,958
[host] Oh, we're out of time.
740
00:37:40,042 --> 00:37:41,625
So, I didn't even mention the gig.
741
00:37:41,708 --> 00:37:43,166
That was the whole point
of doing this.
742
00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:44,917
Sixteen tickets sold.
743
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,125
Waste of time.
744
00:37:47,083 --> 00:37:48,916
And you only got one point
on "Sausage or Pie."
745
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,375
I don't care about that shit!
[clicks tongue]
746
00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:57,375
People often say to me, they say,
"Oi, Brent, you're a philosopher.
747
00:37:57,458 --> 00:37:59,083
You're a leader of men.
748
00:37:59,167 --> 00:38:01,167
You're a great comedic mind.
749
00:38:01,250 --> 00:38:03,292
But is there anything
you won't joke about?"
750
00:38:03,375 --> 00:38:05,833
And I always say, "Yes, the handicapped."
751
00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:09,750
So I will not laugh at them.
752
00:38:09,833 --> 00:38:14,583
Or with them, just to be sure.
Also, you might get in trouble.
753
00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:16,833
And that's in this.
It's sort of a warning.
754
00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:19,166
{\an8}Part of the problem
is the fact that he explains
755
00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:22,083
{\an8}-every single lyric.
-Every single lyric.
756
00:38:22,750 --> 00:38:24,666
{\an8}-We can't just play a song.
-Which-- No.
757
00:38:24,750 --> 00:38:26,166
{\an8}They don't need explaining.
758
00:38:26,250 --> 00:38:29,208
[Andy] And we have to sit there
with our instruments,
759
00:38:29,291 --> 00:38:31,791
-waiting for the song to start.
-[Stu] Yeah, it's...
760
00:38:32,708 --> 00:38:34,750
-[Andy] That's so--
-[Stu] It's excruciating.
761
00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:41,083
♪ Oh, please don't make fun
Of the disableds ♪
762
00:38:42,250 --> 00:38:45,792
♪ There's nothing funny about those ♪
763
00:38:47,750 --> 00:38:50,416
♪ Whether mental in the head ♪
764
00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:53,208
♪ Or mental in the legs ♪
765
00:38:53,291 --> 00:38:55,125
[Mike] We've been
in a lot of bands together,
766
00:38:55,208 --> 00:38:59,667
{\an8}and I'd say David is, sort of,
the personification of...
767
00:39:00,667 --> 00:39:05,042
all of our most embarrassing moments ever,
being in bands...
768
00:39:05,125 --> 00:39:06,625
[laughing] Yeah.
769
00:39:06,708 --> 00:39:09,000
-magnified by about a hundred.
-Yeah.
770
00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:19,333
♪ Please be kind
To the ones with feeble minds ♪
771
00:39:19,417 --> 00:39:24,458
♪ Help the awkward through a door ♪
772
00:39:25,375 --> 00:39:27,708
♪ Hold their hand ♪
773
00:39:27,792 --> 00:39:30,917
♪ If they've got one, understand ♪
774
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,208
♪ You might have to feed ♪
775
00:39:34,292 --> 00:39:36,417
♪ The worst ones ♪
776
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:40,000
♪ Through a straw ♪
777
00:39:40,083 --> 00:39:42,708
♪ It's basically a head on a pillow ♪
778
00:39:42,792 --> 00:39:46,542
♪ Head on a pillow
Head on a pillow ♪
779
00:39:46,625 --> 00:39:51,833
♪ Oh, please don't make fun
Of the disabled ♪
780
00:39:54,083 --> 00:39:57,542
♪ There's nothing funny about those ♪
781
00:39:59,542 --> 00:40:01,667
♪ Whether mental in the head ♪
782
00:40:02,417 --> 00:40:05,542
♪ Or mental in the legs ♪
783
00:40:05,625 --> 00:40:09,708
♪ Doesn't mean their sorrow doesn't show ♪
784
00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:13,625
♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪
785
00:40:16,291 --> 00:40:21,250
♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪
786
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,333
[band stops playing]
787
00:40:26,417 --> 00:40:27,917
It's for that little guy there.
788
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,917
Well done. Welcome.
789
00:40:34,375 --> 00:40:37,833
[Dan] No one's coming to the gigs.
Fundamentally, that's the main problem.
790
00:40:37,916 --> 00:40:39,833
David's idea of problem solving is...
791
00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:42,375
just to throw more money at it.
792
00:40:43,833 --> 00:40:45,458
I don't know what to do with him.
[chuckles]
793
00:40:45,541 --> 00:40:48,416
Speculate to accumulate. It's business.
794
00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:52,458
I'm thinking of spending more money
'cause it's so worth it.
795
00:40:52,833 --> 00:40:56,375
-But if no one's coming to the gigs--
-I'll get people to come to the gig.
796
00:40:56,458 --> 00:40:59,583
I'll pay someone to get people
to come to the gig. I will... PR.
797
00:41:00,083 --> 00:41:02,083
[sighs] This is like Brewster's Millions.
798
00:41:02,167 --> 00:41:04,583
That's what I'm gonna do next. Get a PR.
799
00:41:04,667 --> 00:41:05,875
-Can you do cash?
-Yes.
800
00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:07,875
-Cash in hand?
-Like this.
801
00:41:07,958 --> 00:41:09,291
{\an8}What sort of stuff you looking for?
802
00:41:09,375 --> 00:41:12,875
{\an8}Radio interviews, press interviews,
profile pieces.
803
00:41:12,958 --> 00:41:14,750
First of all, let's get you noticed.
804
00:41:15,333 --> 00:41:16,250
Yeah.
805
00:41:16,333 --> 00:41:18,000
-Image. Sex.
-Yeah.
806
00:41:18,083 --> 00:41:19,500
[chuckles]
807
00:41:19,583 --> 00:41:21,042
-Publicity shots.
-Let's do it.
808
00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:24,083
-Do you know any good photographers?
-It'll cost you if you want a real one.
809
00:41:24,167 --> 00:41:25,917
[upbeat music playing]
810
00:41:58,166 --> 00:42:01,083
-Yeah? What do you think?
-It's all so old-fashioned.
811
00:42:01,167 --> 00:42:03,500
-What do you mean?
-Take your shirt off. Be like Beckham.
812
00:42:03,583 --> 00:42:04,708
Okay.
813
00:42:06,667 --> 00:42:09,458
-[Briony] Oh, no, that's awful.
-What?
814
00:42:09,542 --> 00:42:11,000
When was the last time
you shaved your back?
815
00:42:11,083 --> 00:42:12,375
About a week ago.
816
00:42:12,458 --> 00:42:14,458
You haven't even got any tattoos.
817
00:42:15,708 --> 00:42:18,750
[David] I've been thinking
about getting a tattoo for bloody years.
818
00:42:18,833 --> 00:42:20,458
But when you're the office manager,
819
00:42:20,541 --> 00:42:22,041
or representing
a cleaning products company,
820
00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:24,250
you've got to present a certain image.
821
00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:26,375
So I give them
the squeaky-clean image. [chuckles]
822
00:42:26,458 --> 00:42:28,666
If they saw me at the weekend,
they'd blow a fuse.
823
00:42:28,750 --> 00:42:30,708
[tattoo needle buzzing]
824
00:42:31,291 --> 00:42:32,291
[groans]
825
00:42:32,375 --> 00:42:33,250
Yeah.
826
00:42:34,083 --> 00:42:37,666
I was gonna have "Slough,"
um, but that didn't tell the whole story.
827
00:42:37,750 --> 00:42:41,333
'Cause originally I'm from Reading,
and I didn't wanna piss off that crew.
828
00:42:41,416 --> 00:42:43,208
Likewise, I didn't wanna have "Reading"
829
00:42:43,291 --> 00:42:47,041
because, uh, the Slough posse
would be like, "Oh, you traitor."
830
00:42:47,125 --> 00:42:49,958
So, um, yeah, I went with something
that's sort of all-encompassing,
831
00:42:50,042 --> 00:42:53,292
um, to show the scope
of what I'm trying to do.
832
00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:54,666
Sky's the limit.
833
00:42:54,750 --> 00:42:58,875
Uh, I went with "Berkshire."
You know, keep everyone happy.
834
00:42:59,291 --> 00:43:04,875
Ah, but, uh, I'm not good...
with needles or pain.
835
00:43:04,958 --> 00:43:07,000
It is painful. It is painful.
836
00:43:07,583 --> 00:43:08,833
Are you nearly done?
837
00:43:09,458 --> 00:43:11,958
-About halfway.
-Halfway? Come on.
838
00:43:12,042 --> 00:43:13,750
-Do you wanna see it?
-Nah.
839
00:43:13,833 --> 00:43:15,375
-Go on. Have a look.
-No. Just do it.
840
00:43:15,458 --> 00:43:16,791
-See if you like it.
-I will like it.
841
00:43:16,875 --> 00:43:20,083
Just... I'm just saying,
just finish it, and let's, um...
842
00:43:20,167 --> 00:43:22,792
Oh, what's that? Is that blood?
843
00:43:24,125 --> 00:43:25,166
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
844
00:43:25,250 --> 00:43:27,167
Easy, fella. Easy.
Sonia, give us a hand.
845
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:28,250
Haresh.
846
00:43:31,083 --> 00:43:33,542
-I said I didn't wanna look, didn't I?
-All right.
847
00:43:37,875 --> 00:43:39,125
Have some water.
848
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,666
That's it. I'm not doing any more.
849
00:43:45,750 --> 00:43:47,125
-We'll finish it up.
-No, no, no.
850
00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,750
No, that's it.
We're not gonna finish it up.
851
00:43:48,833 --> 00:43:50,208
At least let me clean it for you.
852
00:43:50,291 --> 00:43:51,583
I didn't wanna look,
you made me look,
853
00:43:51,667 --> 00:43:52,708
and that's what happens.
854
00:43:52,791 --> 00:43:54,708
-I'll get a plaster on that.
-[sighs]
855
00:44:01,041 --> 00:44:02,166
{\an8}It's good, innit?
856
00:44:03,458 --> 00:44:04,750
That's there forever.
857
00:44:04,833 --> 00:44:06,375
"You got any tattoos, David?"
"Yeah."
858
00:44:06,458 --> 00:44:07,791
"Can I have a look?"
"Yeah."
859
00:44:21,500 --> 00:44:23,625
[David] Onwards and upwards. [sighs]
860
00:44:23,708 --> 00:44:27,166
I'm looking forward to the next gig
'cause it's a student union.
861
00:44:27,250 --> 00:44:30,500
And it's, um, a guaranteed crowd.
It's their big Saturday night.
862
00:44:30,875 --> 00:44:34,125
So, er, [chuckles]
yeah, let's show them what we can do.
863
00:44:34,208 --> 00:44:35,291
[David chuckles]
864
00:44:37,583 --> 00:44:39,916
Here they are. The rabble. [chuckles]
865
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,333
I beat 'em here easy. The old Insignia.
866
00:44:42,417 --> 00:44:44,167
Sat nav. So...
867
00:44:44,250 --> 00:44:46,333
What kept you? [chuckles]
868
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,250
This way.
869
00:44:48,333 --> 00:44:49,333
Uh-oh.
870
00:44:50,833 --> 00:44:51,875
My ugly mug.
871
00:44:53,208 --> 00:44:56,042
"David Brent. Shite Night"?
872
00:44:56,125 --> 00:44:58,208
Why have they... That's...
873
00:44:58,291 --> 00:44:59,916
"Crappiest entertainment
of the past 50 years."
874
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,208
Fuck's sake, David.
875
00:45:01,292 --> 00:45:02,958
Well, I didn't do it, did I?
876
00:45:03,541 --> 00:45:04,375
[door slams]
877
00:45:05,625 --> 00:45:08,833
They're pissed off with me.
Like I made the poster.
878
00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:12,250
It wasn't their head
on a piece of dog shit.
879
00:45:12,333 --> 00:45:14,750
It was mine, so...
880
00:45:16,958 --> 00:45:18,625
I can't do anything right.
881
00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:22,917
Oh, for fuck's sake.
882
00:45:24,833 --> 00:45:26,042
[sighs]
883
00:45:27,875 --> 00:45:30,625
["Agadou" playing]
884
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,125
[David] Come in.
885
00:45:40,833 --> 00:45:44,625
-Oh, embarrassing. You caught me.
-Well, I didn't catch you. I knocked.
886
00:45:44,708 --> 00:45:46,041
-You said, "Come in."
-Yeah, sorry.
887
00:45:46,125 --> 00:45:48,083
Totally lost in the art of kata.
888
00:45:48,542 --> 00:45:49,792
Er, Japanese.
889
00:45:49,875 --> 00:45:50,875
-So...
-Right.
890
00:45:50,958 --> 00:45:52,583
[imitates karate shout]
891
00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:53,958
-Do you do it?
-What?
892
00:45:54,041 --> 00:45:54,916
-Martial arts?
-No.
893
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:56,917
-You're on in ten minutes. Right.
-You should.
894
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,458
Wado-ryu would suit you
'cause you're wiry.
895
00:45:59,542 --> 00:46:01,375
So what you lack in power,
896
00:46:01,458 --> 00:46:03,958
you make up for in range and flexibility.
897
00:46:04,041 --> 00:46:06,333
My problem is I'm literally all power.
898
00:46:06,416 --> 00:46:08,125
So Shotokan.
899
00:46:08,208 --> 00:46:09,625
One punch. [grunts]
900
00:46:09,708 --> 00:46:12,333
So it's like,
"Oi, mate, I don't want any trouble."
901
00:46:12,417 --> 00:46:14,167
"Well I do."
"Oh, sorry."
902
00:46:14,250 --> 00:46:16,166
[imitates karate shout]
903
00:46:16,250 --> 00:46:19,917
"Ooh, night-night, sleep tight.
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
904
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,125
Sorry about the teeth.
I know a good dentist, Dr. Gupta.
905
00:46:23,208 --> 00:46:25,167
Tell him Brent sent you.
He'll know what happened."
906
00:46:25,250 --> 00:46:27,833
-I'm gonna wait outside.
-See you later.
907
00:46:27,917 --> 00:46:29,250
You all students?
908
00:46:29,333 --> 00:46:31,542
-[students] Yeah!
-Yeah, thought so.
909
00:46:31,625 --> 00:46:36,250
You just got up? [chuckles]
You know, in time for Countdown.
910
00:46:37,041 --> 00:46:37,875
[chuckles]
911
00:46:38,375 --> 00:46:41,125
[laughs] Um, who wants a T-shirt?
912
00:46:41,625 --> 00:46:43,417
-[students] Yeah!
-Yeah.
913
00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:45,375
We're selling these,
but I'm gonna give one away now.
914
00:46:45,458 --> 00:46:46,458
Look at this.
915
00:46:48,333 --> 00:46:50,416
Say hello to my little friend. [chuckles]
916
00:46:50,500 --> 00:46:51,791
Scarface.
917
00:46:53,208 --> 00:46:55,042
Yeah! [cheers]
918
00:46:55,958 --> 00:46:57,083
[laughs]
919
00:46:57,167 --> 00:46:59,583
Let's get this party started. Now...
920
00:47:00,500 --> 00:47:03,167
Chris Martin's best friend is Jay Z.
921
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:05,583
Frank Sinatra had Sammy Davis, Jr.
922
00:47:05,667 --> 00:47:06,875
I've got one, too.
923
00:47:06,958 --> 00:47:10,667
Please welcome Dom Johnson.
Whoo! [chuckles]
924
00:47:10,750 --> 00:47:12,958
Black. Well, mixed race.
925
00:47:13,042 --> 00:47:16,875
[Dom] I'm only actually used, when you
check it, on like two or three songs.
926
00:47:16,958 --> 00:47:19,458
And it's his dad that's the white one.
927
00:47:19,541 --> 00:47:21,416
[Dom] The rest of the time,
I'm just standing around
928
00:47:21,500 --> 00:47:22,958
at the side of the stage.
929
00:47:23,458 --> 00:47:26,083
Watching his back
and the audience's faces.
930
00:47:26,583 --> 00:47:28,792
[David] This one's called
"Equality Street."
931
00:47:39,292 --> 00:47:40,417
Ah!
932
00:47:41,917 --> 00:47:43,500
♪ Let me take you down
Equality Street ♪
933
00:47:43,583 --> 00:47:45,417
[Mike] I'm starting to regret
having taken this on.
934
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:48,291
I'm sorry, lads. It's a complete joke.
935
00:47:48,375 --> 00:47:50,000
I don't think any of us
could have predicted...
936
00:47:50,083 --> 00:47:51,375
Just how mental he is.
937
00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:53,250
It's our reputation, innit.
That's the problem.
938
00:47:53,333 --> 00:47:55,375
What we gonna...
Who's gonna take us on?
939
00:47:55,458 --> 00:47:58,458
♪ Deyo, deyo, deyo, me say deyo ♪
940
00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:02,333
♪ Biddly, biddly, biddly, biddly,
Biddly, biddly, bong yo ♪
941
00:48:02,416 --> 00:48:06,000
He just has me rapping
about a lot of weird shit, you know,
942
00:48:06,083 --> 00:48:09,375
that I personally
wouldn't normally rap about.
943
00:48:09,458 --> 00:48:11,167
♪ Black people aren't crazy ♪
944
00:48:11,250 --> 00:48:13,042
♪ Fat people aren't lazy ♪
945
00:48:13,792 --> 00:48:15,458
♪ And dwarves aren't babies ♪
946
00:48:15,542 --> 00:48:17,083
♪ You can't just pick 'em up ♪
947
00:48:17,167 --> 00:48:18,458
♪ They got rights ♪
948
00:48:18,542 --> 00:48:20,250
♪ And anyway don't assume you could ♪
949
00:48:20,333 --> 00:48:21,583
♪ They're not light ♪
950
00:48:21,667 --> 00:48:23,417
[upbeat music playing]
951
00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:26,125
Hiya. Hiya.
952
00:48:53,083 --> 00:48:55,208
[Dan] I'm no Lothario, believe me,
953
00:48:55,292 --> 00:49:00,250
but, um, he is the worst person, um,
around women I think I've ever seen.
954
00:49:19,375 --> 00:49:22,416
[Dom] My mum used to say
there's someone out there for everyone.
955
00:49:22,500 --> 00:49:27,250
And I think for David especially,
it's important to believe that.
956
00:49:27,333 --> 00:49:30,542
Because... you just gotta
hope and pray deep down
957
00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:32,917
that there's somebody out there
958
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:38,417
who's just totally given up on life
that could make him very happy.
959
00:49:38,500 --> 00:49:39,792
It's just...
960
00:49:39,875 --> 00:49:42,292
Excuse me. Can we have the bill, please?
961
00:49:42,375 --> 00:49:44,958
-Shall I put it on your room?
-[chuckles] Rooms. We're not...
962
00:49:45,042 --> 00:49:46,167
Separate rooms.
963
00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:50,791
-So you want separate bills?
-No, no, no. Put it on my room, 106.
964
00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:54,083
But "no" that we're not... [chuckles]
I wouldn't. Not with him.
965
00:49:54,166 --> 00:49:57,208
And not because he's a black man.
Because he's a man. [chuckles]
966
00:49:57,291 --> 00:50:00,333
I'd do it with a black woman, for example.
Not you.
967
00:50:00,416 --> 00:50:02,375
Well, yes, you. Yeah.
968
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:07,041
If you were consenting
and above legal age,
969
00:50:07,125 --> 00:50:08,416
which you obviously are.
970
00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:10,916
Not obviously. So...
971
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,542
[Dom] As soon as he's around women,
972
00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:16,375
it's like he can't relax, you know,
and that's all he needs to do.
973
00:50:16,583 --> 00:50:20,666
[sighs] Thirty-five.
So let's make that 50, shall we?
974
00:50:20,750 --> 00:50:23,292
£15 tip.
975
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,958
Think what I'd spend on her
if we were having intercourse.
976
00:50:27,958 --> 00:50:29,833
[Dom] Suddenly something just switches.
977
00:50:30,333 --> 00:50:33,500
It's like a wall of Jenga that just...
It just crumbles.
978
00:50:34,167 --> 00:50:35,667
She's happy.
979
00:50:35,750 --> 00:50:38,625
[Dom] There's a moment you can just hear
his body collapse.
980
00:50:38,708 --> 00:50:39,833
It's bizarre.
981
00:50:41,958 --> 00:50:43,792
[telephone rings]
982
00:50:43,875 --> 00:50:46,375
-[Karen] Hello, Lavichem.
-[clicking]
983
00:50:46,458 --> 00:50:47,708
[cell phone ringing]
984
00:50:48,792 --> 00:50:50,083
[laughs] Oh.
985
00:50:51,083 --> 00:50:52,292
Brentmeister.
986
00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:57,500
Hello? Battersea Home
for Retired Penguins. Maurice speaking.
987
00:50:57,875 --> 00:50:59,875
-[David] I'm depressed.
-Oh, what's up?
988
00:50:59,958 --> 00:51:02,041
The gigs are shit,
the band don't talk to me,
989
00:51:02,125 --> 00:51:03,667
can't get anyone along.
990
00:51:03,750 --> 00:51:07,125
This is my last chance, you know.
If I don't get signed now...
991
00:51:07,208 --> 00:51:09,958
I'm running out of money
and I'm running out of time.
992
00:51:10,042 --> 00:51:11,500
-I'm so fed up.
-Come on, mate.
993
00:51:11,583 --> 00:51:15,041
This ain't like you.
You remember what you said to me once?
994
00:51:15,625 --> 00:51:17,625
"It's not how hard you can hit,
995
00:51:17,708 --> 00:51:21,833
it's how hard you can get hit
and still keep moving forward."
996
00:51:21,916 --> 00:51:23,666
It's from Rocky. It's from Rocky.
997
00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:28,167
Yeah... but when you said it,
it made me think about life.
998
00:51:28,250 --> 00:51:30,375
Whereas he was just talking about boxing.
999
00:51:30,458 --> 00:51:33,750
No, he meant it metaphorically
in the movie, so...
1000
00:51:33,833 --> 00:51:37,458
-Yeah. Still, though, innit?
-Don't tell anyone about this phone call.
1001
00:51:38,542 --> 00:51:40,000
All right then, I won't.
1002
00:51:40,083 --> 00:51:41,667
-See you later.
-See you later.
1003
00:51:43,083 --> 00:51:44,792
-Was that David?
-Uh, yeah.
1004
00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:48,958
-Is he okay?
-No, a bit low.
1005
00:51:49,042 --> 00:51:51,792
You know, rock 'n' roll pressures.
1006
00:51:51,875 --> 00:51:53,958
Mmm. Dear.
1007
00:51:57,708 --> 00:51:59,667
-Me knackers.
-Hmm?
1008
00:52:00,250 --> 00:52:04,083
-Well, oh, just what David says.
-Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
1009
00:52:05,042 --> 00:52:07,292
[as Ho Lee Fuk] Why you no risten,
sirry rady?
1010
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:09,583
-Ho Lee Fuk.
-[normal] Yeah. [laughs]
1011
00:52:10,917 --> 00:52:11,917
Yeah.
1012
00:52:15,708 --> 00:52:17,750
-[Miriam] Hiya.
-Hiya.
1013
00:52:20,875 --> 00:52:23,125
-[Miriam] You okay?
-Yeah.
1014
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,000
-You missing David?
-[chuckles]
1015
00:52:27,708 --> 00:52:29,208
-I am, a bit.
-[horn honking]
1016
00:52:29,291 --> 00:52:31,916
Look, Nigel,
don't start playing with all that crap.
1017
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,333
You're not in charge.
1018
00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:36,417
I don't think all this is good for him.
1019
00:52:36,500 --> 00:52:38,958
-[Miriam] What, the tour?
-No, this.
1020
00:52:39,458 --> 00:52:42,375
This documentary.
I think he's only doing it
1021
00:52:42,458 --> 00:52:44,541
'cause he thought it'd be
better than the first time, but...
1022
00:52:44,625 --> 00:52:46,333
it's not better, it's worse.
1023
00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:47,416
Why is it worse?
1024
00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:51,000
Well, you know, he was the boss
at Wernham Hogg.
1025
00:52:51,083 --> 00:52:53,958
And he worked with basically nice people.
1026
00:52:54,042 --> 00:52:57,125
And here he's not the boss, you know,
1027
00:52:57,208 --> 00:52:59,917
and it's mainly worse
because the world's worse.
1028
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:01,458
[Pauline] It's dog eat dog.
1029
00:53:01,541 --> 00:53:02,583
Keep the fucking noise down.
1030
00:53:02,666 --> 00:53:04,708
Keep the fucking noise down,
you silly cunt.
1031
00:53:04,791 --> 00:53:07,958
Sit fucking down, silly bollocks.
Fuck me.
1032
00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:13,958
Stop fucking playing up
to the cameras, yeah?
1033
00:53:16,541 --> 00:53:18,250
[Jezza] Jane, hello.
1034
00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:20,000
-[Jezza] Yes.
-Jezza?
1035
00:53:20,083 --> 00:53:22,333
-Hang on a second.
-[Karen] Why do you...
1036
00:53:22,416 --> 00:53:24,291
-[Jezza] Hello.
-Why do you talk to people like that?
1037
00:53:25,916 --> 00:53:27,791
[Karen] Why are you such a bully?
1038
00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:29,583
-I'm trying to work.
-[Karen] Don't care.
1039
00:53:29,667 --> 00:53:30,917
So is everyone else.
1040
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,333
[Karen] He's only having a laugh.
Look at him.
1041
00:53:33,417 --> 00:53:35,167
[instrumental music playing]
1042
00:53:58,041 --> 00:54:00,583
Another day, another dollar. [chuckles]
1043
00:54:03,333 --> 00:54:04,375
Checking in.
1044
00:54:05,917 --> 00:54:08,917
Want an early morning alarm call?
No. [chuckles]
1045
00:54:10,292 --> 00:54:13,083
-David, we're gonna need your card.
-Yeah.
1046
00:54:16,917 --> 00:54:20,042
So now he's saying
we gotta save money, so...
1047
00:54:21,250 --> 00:54:23,625
we gotta be in a twin room.
Sharing.
1048
00:54:24,542 --> 00:54:26,792
You know, it's... it's awkward, man.
1049
00:54:27,708 --> 00:54:29,292
It's just not gangsta.
1050
00:54:29,375 --> 00:54:31,000
[guitar strumming]
1051
00:54:33,917 --> 00:54:35,000
[David] Hey.
1052
00:54:41,333 --> 00:54:44,833
Just writing a song about the, uh, plight
of the Native American, so...
1053
00:54:44,916 --> 00:54:46,875
Which is a cause
close to my heart, innit?
1054
00:54:46,958 --> 00:54:49,375
-Is it?
-Yeah, I'm always going on about it.
1055
00:54:50,125 --> 00:54:51,458
So listen.
1056
00:54:52,292 --> 00:54:55,833
♪ Oh, oh, your red heart rages ♪
1057
00:54:58,667 --> 00:55:02,083
♪ Cut down, burned out
And put in cages ♪
1058
00:55:04,708 --> 00:55:08,000
♪ You came in peace
Held up your hand ♪
1059
00:55:08,083 --> 00:55:09,208
♪ How ♪
1060
00:55:10,750 --> 00:55:14,542
♪ We cut it off
And we stole your land ♪
1061
00:55:17,458 --> 00:55:21,250
♪ Oh, oh, Native American ♪
1062
00:55:23,500 --> 00:55:27,333
♪ Soar like an eagle
Sit like a pelican ♪
1063
00:55:30,375 --> 00:55:34,292
♪ Oh, oh, don't call us Indians ♪
1064
00:55:35,792 --> 00:55:39,917
♪ We're more like West Eurasians
crossed with Siberians ♪
1065
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,083
Have you been on Wikipedia?
1066
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:43,667
-Have I been on what? [chuckles]
-Wikipedia.
1067
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:47,625
Yeah. "Migrated from West Eurasia
and Siberia, 15--"
1068
00:55:47,708 --> 00:55:49,417
So knowledge is knowledge.
1069
00:55:49,500 --> 00:55:52,833
I prefer my songs
to be factually accurate. [chuckles]
1070
00:55:52,916 --> 00:55:54,541
Where's the bit about
sitting like pelicans?
1071
00:55:54,625 --> 00:55:55,958
That's not in there, is it?
1072
00:55:56,042 --> 00:55:58,833
-Is it a fact though?
-It's an artist's opinion.
1073
00:55:58,916 --> 00:56:00,666
-What artist?
-Me.
1074
00:56:01,167 --> 00:56:02,208
Right.
1075
00:56:02,292 --> 00:56:04,833
-Because it sounds like a dis, though.
-It's not a dis.
1076
00:56:04,917 --> 00:56:07,083
Native Americans
love to be called animals.
1077
00:56:07,167 --> 00:56:09,625
Things like Soaring Eagle,
Running Bear, Lone Wolf.
1078
00:56:09,708 --> 00:56:13,958
Yeah, but that's different.
That's bears, wolves, eagles.
1079
00:56:14,041 --> 00:56:15,875
-They're cool animals, bruv.
-All right.
1080
00:56:15,958 --> 00:56:17,708
-Pelican's like a joke bird.
-No.
1081
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,541
It's a little squat thing
with that fat throat and that--
1082
00:56:20,625 --> 00:56:23,500
Oh... animal racist.
1083
00:56:40,750 --> 00:56:45,458
This next song is about
the greatest place in the world, Slough.
1084
00:56:45,542 --> 00:56:48,792
Everything in this song
is factually accurate.
1085
00:56:48,875 --> 00:56:51,250
So you might learn something as well.
1086
00:56:51,333 --> 00:56:54,792
♪ More convenient than a Tesco Express ♪
1087
00:56:54,875 --> 00:56:57,875
♪ Close to Windsor
But the property's less ♪
1088
00:56:57,958 --> 00:57:01,542
♪ It keeps the businesses
Of Britain great ♪
1089
00:57:01,625 --> 00:57:04,375
♪ It's got Europe's
Biggest trading estate ♪
1090
00:57:05,708 --> 00:57:08,083
♪ It doesn't matter where you're from ♪
1091
00:57:08,167 --> 00:57:11,542
♪ You wanna work
Then come along ♪
1092
00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:14,708
♪ The station's just got a new floor ♪
1093
00:57:14,792 --> 00:57:18,833
♪ And the motorway runs by your door ♪
1094
00:57:19,875 --> 00:57:23,417
♪ And you know just where you're headin' ♪
1095
00:57:25,333 --> 00:57:30,333
♪ It's equidistant
'Tween London and Reading ♪
1096
00:57:31,333 --> 00:57:33,833
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Slough ♪
1097
00:57:33,917 --> 00:57:35,750
♪ Slough ♪
1098
00:57:35,833 --> 00:57:37,792
♪ My kind of town ♪
1099
00:57:37,875 --> 00:57:40,917
♪ I don't know how ♪
1100
00:57:42,458 --> 00:57:44,500
♪ Anyone could put you down ♪
1101
00:57:44,583 --> 00:57:49,292
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Slough ♪
1102
00:57:56,041 --> 00:57:57,958
[David] Ooh, yeah! Slough.
1103
00:57:58,042 --> 00:58:02,083
Right, who wants a T-shirt?
Yeah! Whoo!
1104
00:58:02,167 --> 00:58:03,917
Here we go. [chuckles]
1105
00:58:04,917 --> 00:58:06,333
[crowd gasp]
1106
00:58:10,541 --> 00:58:12,958
[Steve] You play a show, and just when
you think it can't get worse,
1107
00:58:13,042 --> 00:58:15,917
you shoot a fat girl in the face
with a T-shirt gun.
1108
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,000
That was just ridiculous, really,
wasn't it?
1109
00:58:18,083 --> 00:58:21,750
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's been a few moments like that.
1110
00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:22,875
There have, yeah.
1111
00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:24,833
Accidents will happen.
1112
00:58:24,917 --> 00:58:27,292
So... someone got shot in the face
1113
00:58:27,375 --> 00:58:31,167
by a T-shirt gun. You know,
let's not make a drama out of it.
1114
00:58:31,958 --> 00:58:35,917
I let her keep the T-shirt, so...
It won't fit her.
1115
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,250
She won't get anywhere near it. [sighs]
1116
00:58:39,417 --> 00:58:41,542
[indistinct conversations]
1117
00:58:47,666 --> 00:58:49,500
-Briony?
-What?
1118
00:58:50,083 --> 00:58:52,625
-What are you doing?
-Getting off with a bloke.
1119
00:58:52,708 --> 00:58:55,167
-What did you think of the gig?
-I didn't see it. I was getting off...
1120
00:58:55,250 --> 00:58:57,375
You were getting off with a bloke.
Yeah, sure.
1121
00:58:58,833 --> 00:58:59,916
Good, innit?
1122
00:59:00,708 --> 00:59:04,583
Paying them... to get off with people.
1123
00:59:04,666 --> 00:59:06,791
It's a new job description, innit?
1124
00:59:08,125 --> 00:59:09,250
All aboard.
1125
00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:12,167
[breathes heavily]
1126
00:59:13,417 --> 00:59:16,917
What if I did that? What if I just got off
with people all the time?
1127
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,292
Willy-nilly.
1128
00:59:21,292 --> 00:59:22,375
Cheers.
1129
00:59:26,417 --> 00:59:29,667
...stay at his house
because you won't sort yourself out.
1130
00:59:29,750 --> 00:59:31,792
-Hiya.
-All right?
1131
00:59:31,875 --> 00:59:33,958
Just getting some cash out
to go to a club?
1132
00:59:34,042 --> 00:59:35,250
Yeah.
1133
00:59:35,333 --> 00:59:37,333
For a drink? [chuckles]
No need.
1134
00:59:37,916 --> 00:59:41,375
I've just played here. I'm in a band.
They're doing a documentary about me.
1135
00:59:41,458 --> 00:59:44,833
So I'm staying in a... In a hotel.
1136
00:59:44,917 --> 00:59:47,958
So if you wanna come back for a drink,
1137
00:59:48,041 --> 00:59:49,458
I got a minibar and it's...
1138
00:59:54,042 --> 00:59:55,292
Can we stay?
1139
00:59:58,750 --> 00:59:59,750
Yep.
1140
01:00:01,792 --> 01:00:02,958
So...
1141
01:00:03,042 --> 01:00:04,917
We got beer, wine.
1142
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,292
-[Mo] Was that champagne?
-Yeah, but it's 25 quid
1143
01:00:07,375 --> 01:00:09,375
and they're just half bottles,
so it's not worth it.
1144
01:00:09,458 --> 01:00:11,833
-There's two half bottles though.
-Yeah, exactly. So 50 then.
1145
01:00:11,917 --> 01:00:13,458
[Mo] Oh, there's Toblerone.
1146
01:00:13,542 --> 01:00:15,708
-Yeah, they're a fiver each. Two, tenner.
-Give me one.
1147
01:00:15,791 --> 01:00:18,083
Sixty so far. That's good, innit?
1148
01:00:18,167 --> 01:00:20,208
-It's great.
-Yeah.
1149
01:00:20,292 --> 01:00:22,208
Straight in the Toblerone, eh?
1150
01:00:22,292 --> 01:00:24,958
-Have you not eaten?
-Not since dinner.
1151
01:00:25,541 --> 01:00:26,416
Ah.
1152
01:00:27,042 --> 01:00:29,750
-Here we go.
-Yeah. Come on, party.
1153
01:00:29,833 --> 01:00:32,333
-[cork pops]
-[all cheer]
1154
01:00:32,417 --> 01:00:34,292
-Get that down you.
-[laughing]
1155
01:00:34,375 --> 01:00:35,792
-Chocolate, champagne.
-[Cat] Cheers.
1156
01:00:35,875 --> 01:00:37,583
Cheers. Right.
1157
01:00:37,667 --> 01:00:38,875
[Mo] Cheers.
1158
01:00:39,500 --> 01:00:40,583
I like it here.
1159
01:00:40,666 --> 01:00:43,083
-Take your jackets off.
-[Cat] I will, actually.
1160
01:00:43,166 --> 01:00:45,541
-I haven't got any clean pants.
-[David] Huh?
1161
01:00:45,750 --> 01:00:47,250
She hasn't got any clean pants.
1162
01:00:48,750 --> 01:00:50,292
Oh, it's hot.
1163
01:00:50,375 --> 01:00:52,916
-It is hot.
-[David] I put on the radiator.
1164
01:00:54,083 --> 01:00:56,792
So, what do you two do?
1165
01:00:56,875 --> 01:00:58,000
Work in an office.
1166
01:00:58,083 --> 01:01:00,042
[chuckles] Do you?
1167
01:01:01,250 --> 01:01:03,083
-Yeah? [chuckles]
-Yeah.
1168
01:01:03,167 --> 01:01:04,208
Office.
1169
01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:06,625
[chomping]
1170
01:01:13,416 --> 01:01:14,625
[crunching]
1171
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:19,000
[sighs]
1172
01:01:19,958 --> 01:01:22,666
[swishing]
1173
01:01:24,208 --> 01:01:26,458
I still think there's
some mouthwash if you...
1174
01:01:26,541 --> 01:01:27,708
-No, I'm all right.
-What is it?
1175
01:01:27,792 --> 01:01:30,000
Just chocolate and crisps and nuts...
1176
01:01:30,083 --> 01:01:31,791
-Yeah, peanuts.
-stuck in your teeth, is it?
1177
01:01:31,875 --> 01:01:33,458
-No.
-[Cat] Nightmare, aren't they?
1178
01:01:33,542 --> 01:01:35,417
Yeah, pain, ain't they?
1179
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:38,458
[Mo] Gets worse when you get older
and then you get that sort of smell.
1180
01:01:38,542 --> 01:01:39,542
[Cat] Yeah.
1181
01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:41,833
[sighs]
1182
01:01:46,833 --> 01:01:48,583
-Nothing happened.
-Huh?
1183
01:01:48,667 --> 01:01:52,458
Just saying... Nothing happened.
She slept in that bed. Didn't you?
1184
01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:54,375
-Ate her way through the minibar.
-What?
1185
01:01:54,458 --> 01:01:56,708
You had a little picnic last night,
didn't you?
1186
01:01:56,792 --> 01:01:58,292
-With the chocolate and crisps?
-Yeah.
1187
01:01:58,375 --> 01:01:59,500
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1188
01:01:59,583 --> 01:02:02,083
[Mo] Yeah. Bit constipated today, though.
1189
01:02:02,167 --> 01:02:04,333
[David] Yes, you would be.
1190
01:02:04,417 --> 01:02:08,708
So, there you go.
Good one, the other one, left. Left to...
1191
01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:13,667
Apparently, just wanted to stay somewhere
'cause her flat's being done, isn't it?
1192
01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:16,167
Yeah. Yeah, it's a bit of a bomb site
at the moment.
1193
01:02:16,250 --> 01:02:19,083
The council are putting a new bathroom in.
But it was nice to have a lie-in...
1194
01:02:19,166 --> 01:02:20,708
-Yeah.
-and have a lovely bath.
1195
01:02:20,792 --> 01:02:22,083
So perfect.
1196
01:02:22,666 --> 01:02:24,000
Oh...
1197
01:02:24,083 --> 01:02:26,708
Hiya. Right, okay.
1198
01:02:26,792 --> 01:02:29,000
So, nothing happened. Okay?
1199
01:02:29,083 --> 01:02:32,208
-[mumbles] Is that a woman?
-'Course it's a woman.
1200
01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:35,333
She stayed in that bed.
She made her way through that lot.
1201
01:02:35,416 --> 01:02:36,500
-She ate all of that?
-Yes.
1202
01:02:36,583 --> 01:02:38,375
-She's gonna be constipated.
-She is.
1203
01:02:39,625 --> 01:02:41,958
If you tell the band
I got off with a bird--
1204
01:02:42,042 --> 01:02:44,083
-But you didn't.
-No. No.
1205
01:02:44,166 --> 01:02:45,791
If you want to do
some banter with them, like,
1206
01:02:45,875 --> 01:02:48,292
"Oh, David got off with a girl
last night." And don't--
1207
01:02:48,375 --> 01:02:50,958
-No. I just won't say anything.
-You can, but listen.
1208
01:02:51,042 --> 01:02:53,583
Just don't describe her. Okay?
Don't be specific--
1209
01:02:53,666 --> 01:02:55,333
-I'm off here.
-See you later. Yeah.
1210
01:02:55,416 --> 01:02:57,625
-Okay. Thanks for the snack.
-Not a problem.
1211
01:02:57,708 --> 01:03:00,667
I'll... Snack, yeah. I'll clean that up.
1212
01:03:00,750 --> 01:03:01,792
All right.
1213
01:03:01,875 --> 01:03:03,792
-Okay. Ta-ta, then.
-Bye.
1214
01:03:03,875 --> 01:03:04,875
[Mo groans]
1215
01:03:06,875 --> 01:03:09,708
So, what... So, yeah. Yeah.
1216
01:03:10,667 --> 01:03:14,917
My good deed for the...
£200 good deed.
1217
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,041
Pop that in your little expense account,
shall we?
1218
01:03:25,250 --> 01:03:27,708
A daily ritual is phoning around
the record companies,
1219
01:03:27,791 --> 01:03:30,708
trying to get one of them
to come down and see you live.
1220
01:03:31,208 --> 01:03:35,291
Half the time, they're not there.
Half the time we don't get through.
1221
01:03:35,375 --> 01:03:37,250
[David] I managed
to get one of them to bite
1222
01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:39,791
by pretending to be
the manager of my band. [chuckles]
1223
01:03:39,875 --> 01:03:41,458
Which I am, in a way.
1224
01:03:41,542 --> 01:03:43,875
-[man over phone] What are they called?
-Foregone Conclusion.
1225
01:03:43,958 --> 01:03:46,292
-Awful name. Yeah.
-I told them that.
1226
01:03:46,375 --> 01:03:48,416
I'm gonna make them change it.
Don't worry.
1227
01:03:48,500 --> 01:03:49,791
-Don't hold that against them.
1228
01:03:49,875 --> 01:03:52,292
-They're a good bunch of guys.
-Sure.
1229
01:03:52,375 --> 01:03:53,833
-So, yeah.
-Sure. Yeah, okay.
1230
01:03:53,916 --> 01:03:57,041
I'll get one of the scouts to listen
to the demo. He can pop down.
1231
01:03:57,125 --> 01:03:58,583
-Okay?
-Okay.
1232
01:03:58,667 --> 01:04:00,875
-Right, see you. Yep. Bye.
-Cheers.
1233
01:04:02,208 --> 01:04:03,625
[chuckles]
1234
01:04:03,708 --> 01:04:07,083
[David] Right. Off to the sound check.
I can't wait to tell Dom.
1235
01:04:07,667 --> 01:04:10,500
This is what it's all about, so...
1236
01:04:10,583 --> 01:04:11,750
[chuckles]
1237
01:04:12,958 --> 01:04:15,042
The venue, isn't it?
1238
01:04:15,125 --> 01:04:17,250
Oh, God. Hi, boys.
1239
01:04:18,792 --> 01:04:19,917
Ah...
1240
01:04:20,875 --> 01:04:24,292
Has he been telling everyone I got off
with a bird last night? [chuckles]
1241
01:04:24,375 --> 01:04:27,208
Oh, what, the big one?
Yeah, we saw her. She was at breakfast.
1242
01:04:27,292 --> 01:04:28,333
She was loading up on eggs.
1243
01:04:28,416 --> 01:04:30,000
That's gonna make her
even more constipated.
1244
01:04:30,083 --> 01:04:31,083
[exhales]
1245
01:04:31,166 --> 01:04:32,625
-[Dan] Yeah, eggs.
-[Stu] Dan?
1246
01:04:32,708 --> 01:04:33,875
[Dan] I'm coming.
1247
01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:36,458
[David] Er...
1248
01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:39,333
Don't tell the boys,
I don't wanna stress them,
1249
01:04:39,417 --> 01:04:43,083
but I've been winding up a record company
and they're sending someone down.
1250
01:04:43,167 --> 01:04:44,167
-Tonight?
-Yeah. I said,
1251
01:04:44,250 --> 01:04:46,125
"Cruise down. I'll stick you on the list."
1252
01:04:46,208 --> 01:04:49,083
So, uh, you might wanna let them know
they are with a winner.
1253
01:04:49,167 --> 01:04:50,375
[chuckles]
1254
01:04:50,458 --> 01:04:52,250
I thought you said
I shouldn't tell the band?
1255
01:04:52,333 --> 01:04:54,417
No, I know. I don't wanna,
you know, worry 'em
1256
01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:56,333
'cause they're probably
not used to the big league,
1257
01:04:56,417 --> 01:05:00,458
but, you know, let them know
there is a big buzz around Mr. D. Brent,
1258
01:05:00,542 --> 01:05:03,583
ipso facto, anyone on his team.
1259
01:05:03,667 --> 01:05:05,500
-Don't you wanna tell them?
-No.
1260
01:05:05,583 --> 01:05:06,792
They don't talk to me.
1261
01:05:08,416 --> 01:05:10,791
[David] They don't even have a drink
with me.
1262
01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:13,208
Why don't they have a drink with me
after the gig?
1263
01:05:13,292 --> 01:05:16,417
You know, I am paying them.
Tell them to have a drink with me.
1264
01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:20,125
It's just rude. Just go and ask them.
Let's have a drink tonight.
1265
01:05:20,875 --> 01:05:22,500
Oh... [chuckles]
1266
01:05:23,958 --> 01:05:26,375
He's excited.
Gonna tell the band.
1267
01:05:26,458 --> 01:05:28,333
[David laughing]
1268
01:05:28,417 --> 01:05:29,542
[clears throat]
1269
01:05:29,625 --> 01:05:34,083
They said, um, that you pay
for their stage time and rehearsal time,
1270
01:05:34,166 --> 01:05:37,791
but their time is their own
and you're not paying for that. So...
1271
01:05:37,875 --> 01:05:40,583
Okay. Would they have a drink with me
if I paid them for their time
1272
01:05:40,666 --> 01:05:42,333
to have a drink with me?
Go and ask.
1273
01:05:43,125 --> 01:05:44,166
[David sighs]
1274
01:05:44,250 --> 01:05:48,125
[Dom] This is what David is.
He's like the boy that owns the football
1275
01:05:48,208 --> 01:05:50,542
but he doesn't really know
the rules of the game.
1276
01:05:50,625 --> 01:05:55,708
It's his ball, right? So you have to...
You can't play without him.
1277
01:05:56,291 --> 01:05:59,750
You know? But you kinda know
he's gonna ruin it a little bit.
1278
01:05:59,833 --> 01:06:04,500
They said, uh, they'll drink with you
for 25 quid an hour each.
1279
01:06:04,583 --> 01:06:06,875
Um, but you buy the drinks.
1280
01:06:06,958 --> 01:06:11,750
Okay. Tell them to meet me
in the hotel bar after the gig.
1281
01:06:11,833 --> 01:06:14,250
All right. Do I have to come?
1282
01:06:14,333 --> 01:06:15,417
You wanna come.
1283
01:06:15,500 --> 01:06:17,625
-But I'm not getting paid?
-No. No.
1284
01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:20,416
Tell them not to tell anyone
I'm paying them to have a drink.
1285
01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:22,000
Just... have a...
1286
01:06:22,792 --> 01:06:23,917
[sighs]
1287
01:06:26,292 --> 01:06:27,292
Oh...
1288
01:06:28,917 --> 01:06:33,083
Trying to organize
some beers after to celebrate, so...
1289
01:06:38,958 --> 01:06:40,542
[indistinct conversations]
1290
01:06:41,792 --> 01:06:43,458
[band playing]
1291
01:06:48,625 --> 01:06:49,667
[David sighs]
1292
01:06:49,750 --> 01:06:51,875
Hi. Should be on the list
for Foregone Conclusion.
1293
01:06:51,958 --> 01:06:54,000
-Toke Records.
-Hello.
1294
01:06:54,083 --> 01:06:55,958
-David Brent.
-Oh, hi.
1295
01:06:56,041 --> 01:06:57,500
Thanks for coming. What's your name?
1296
01:06:57,583 --> 01:06:58,625
-Pog.
-Pog?
1297
01:06:58,708 --> 01:07:00,208
-Yeah, and this is my mate, Jeremy.
-Hi.
1298
01:07:00,292 --> 01:07:02,125
These dudes are on my list.
Tick 'em off.
1299
01:07:02,208 --> 01:07:04,333
So, uh, did you hear the demo, yeah?
1300
01:07:04,416 --> 01:07:07,833
-No. How old are the band?
-What, combined? [chuckles]
1301
01:07:07,917 --> 01:07:09,292
-What?
-They're about...
1302
01:07:09,375 --> 01:07:13,667
There's four of 'em, 25 years old each.
I don't know, 100?
1303
01:07:13,750 --> 01:07:14,917
Plus the lead singer. [chuckles]
1304
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,583
-You do the maths.
-Is the lead singer cool?
1305
01:07:18,125 --> 01:07:20,458
You do the... judge of that
when you see him.
1306
01:07:21,167 --> 01:07:24,208
And ask yourself,
"Is Mick Jagger cool, 73?
1307
01:07:24,292 --> 01:07:26,583
Is Bob Dylan cool, 75?
1308
01:07:26,667 --> 01:07:28,292
-Is Sting cool?"
-No.
1309
01:07:28,375 --> 01:07:30,333
-What?
-Sting isn't cool.
1310
01:07:30,416 --> 01:07:31,500
Oh...
1311
01:07:32,208 --> 01:07:34,625
Check it out. Listen.
1312
01:07:34,708 --> 01:07:36,875
Open your mind and listen.
You'll enjoy it.
1313
01:07:36,958 --> 01:07:38,208
Have a good one.
1314
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:40,833
Cheers, man.
1315
01:07:40,917 --> 01:07:43,792
[exhales] Fucking hell.
How old is he? About 12?
1316
01:07:45,416 --> 01:07:47,625
Chill out, dude. This is rock 'n' roll.
1317
01:07:48,458 --> 01:07:49,833
And Sting is cool.
1318
01:07:51,958 --> 01:07:52,958
Ooh!
1319
01:07:53,875 --> 01:07:54,917
Yeah.
1320
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:58,125
We are Foregone Conclusion. [chuckles]
1321
01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:01,958
Okay, we got a little treat now.
We are gonna get a little bit funky.
1322
01:08:02,042 --> 01:08:06,125
Um, I say a little bit,
but probably too funky for some.
1323
01:08:06,208 --> 01:08:11,458
This one is called "Ain't No Trouble."
It's through the eyes of an old Rasta.
1324
01:08:11,541 --> 01:08:12,958
-Don't do the voice.
-Gotta do the voice.
1325
01:08:13,042 --> 01:08:14,125
-No, you don't.
-You do.
1326
01:08:14,208 --> 01:08:17,292
So it's sort of like he's saying,
"Oh, whatever happens to me,
1327
01:08:17,375 --> 01:08:21,958
as long as I've got me woman, you know,
you can do what you like, Lord."
1328
01:08:22,041 --> 01:08:24,583
So, it's sort of like a message.
1329
01:08:25,083 --> 01:08:26,666
Called "Ain't No Trouble."
1330
01:08:27,166 --> 01:08:29,000
[Dom] You think it's painful to watch.
1331
01:08:29,083 --> 01:08:34,208
Yeah, I have to stand on the stage
next to him while he's doing it.
1332
01:08:34,292 --> 01:08:38,250
It's what the dreads in UB40
have been going through for 30 years.
1333
01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:51,958
♪ I can work all day
Just to earn a dollar ♪
1334
01:08:52,042 --> 01:08:56,792
♪ I can break my bones
You never hear me holler ♪
1335
01:08:56,875 --> 01:09:01,542
♪ I can lose my home
I'm kicked out in the street ♪
1336
01:09:01,625 --> 01:09:06,417
♪ If my baby's by my side
Then life is sweet ♪
1337
01:09:06,500 --> 01:09:09,375
[Dom] Maybe 'cause I'm there,
he wants to play up to it
1338
01:09:09,458 --> 01:09:11,750
or he wants to be accepted.
1339
01:09:12,667 --> 01:09:16,042
But I think people would accept him
if he just was himself.
1340
01:09:16,125 --> 01:09:18,542
♪ I could lose my job ♪
1341
01:09:18,625 --> 01:09:19,625
♪ But it would be fine ♪
1342
01:09:19,708 --> 01:09:21,458
♪ 'Cause I could still find
The odd snob to rob ♪
1343
01:09:21,542 --> 01:09:23,292
♪ I could get chucked out ♪
1344
01:09:23,375 --> 01:09:24,958
♪ Of my mum's house
But it could be fun ♪
1345
01:09:25,042 --> 01:09:26,500
♪ Sleeping rough
When the sun's out ♪
1346
01:09:26,583 --> 01:09:27,917
♪ I could lose my voice ♪
1347
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,375
♪ But I'd manage to still do ♪
1348
01:09:29,458 --> 01:09:31,375
♪ Some sick rhyme damage
With sign language ♪
1349
01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:32,750
♪ You can take what's mine ♪
1350
01:09:32,833 --> 01:09:36,250
♪ Almost anything
X-Box, wedding ring, fish tank, terrapin ♪
1351
01:09:36,333 --> 01:09:41,208
♪ Poke me in the eyeball, pull out a gun
Say something spiteful about my mum ♪
1352
01:09:41,292 --> 01:09:43,292
♪ Tease my dog
So he doesn't even know it ♪
1353
01:09:43,375 --> 01:09:45,958
♪ By going to throw a bone
But just pretending to throw it ♪
1354
01:09:46,042 --> 01:09:48,625
♪ Make death threats, yeah
Then I have to guess where ♪
1355
01:09:48,708 --> 01:09:51,083
♪ Then when I get there
Pull out my chest hair ♪
1356
01:09:51,167 --> 01:09:53,083
♪ Head-butt me in the nuts if you want ♪
1357
01:09:53,167 --> 01:09:55,417
♪ 'Cause ain't no trouble
Like losing the one you love ♪
1358
01:09:55,500 --> 01:09:58,000
-♪ Ain't no trouble like trouble ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1359
01:09:58,083 --> 01:10:00,292
-♪ When you lose the one you love ♪
-♪ Come on, come on ♪
1360
01:10:00,375 --> 01:10:02,833
-♪ Ain't no trouble like trouble ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1361
01:10:02,917 --> 01:10:05,583
-♪ When you lose the one you love ♪
-♪ Come on, come on ♪
1362
01:10:05,666 --> 01:10:06,750
What did you think?
1363
01:10:06,833 --> 01:10:10,958
Dreadful. Embarrassing.
I mean, the rap was all right, but...
1364
01:10:12,042 --> 01:10:15,125
not with some middle-aged uncle
at a wedding dancing around.
1365
01:10:15,208 --> 01:10:19,250
♪ Then I see this face
And she smiles at me ♪
1366
01:10:19,333 --> 01:10:20,667
♪ If I died right then... ♪
1367
01:10:20,750 --> 01:10:23,792
[Andy] He's excruciating,
uh, on stage and off.
1368
01:10:24,750 --> 01:10:28,166
And now we gotta go and have a drink
with him, you know. It's awkward.
1369
01:10:28,250 --> 01:10:30,208
-[indistinct chatter]
-[Dan] Oh, right.
1370
01:10:30,292 --> 01:10:32,708
Hey. [chuckles]
1371
01:10:32,792 --> 01:10:34,042
After show.
1372
01:10:34,125 --> 01:10:35,791
-[Steve] Cheers, David.
-[Mike] Thanks, man.
1373
01:10:35,875 --> 01:10:37,583
-Cheers.
-[Andy] Cheers. Thank you.
1374
01:10:37,666 --> 01:10:39,708
-Cheers.
-[Stu] Cheers, mate.
1375
01:10:39,791 --> 01:10:40,791
[Dan] Nice.
1376
01:10:41,667 --> 01:10:42,667
God.
1377
01:10:46,292 --> 01:10:49,208
Twitter. Or texting.
1378
01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:51,542
It's all social media, isn't it?
1379
01:10:51,625 --> 01:10:53,917
The iPhone, the iPod...
1380
01:10:54,542 --> 01:10:56,958
Ten thousand songs
in the palm of your hand, yeah?
1381
01:10:57,042 --> 01:10:58,083
Yes, please. [chuckles]
1382
01:10:58,167 --> 01:11:02,750
No more lugging round me albums.
Let's play a record. Let's get it out.
1383
01:11:02,833 --> 01:11:04,625
God, let's get it out the sleeve.
1384
01:11:05,333 --> 01:11:07,250
-I like vinyl.
-I love vinyl.
1385
01:11:07,333 --> 01:11:10,042
Yeah, I love the whole thing
of the paraphernalia.
1386
01:11:10,125 --> 01:11:14,458
Oh, Arctic Monkeys. Yeah.
[blows] Stylus.
1387
01:11:16,041 --> 01:11:17,416
[David] Oh, I love this one.
1388
01:11:17,500 --> 01:11:18,750
-You do like it?
-Yeah.
1389
01:11:18,833 --> 01:11:20,041
-[Dan] Right.
-Yeah.
1390
01:11:20,125 --> 01:11:23,375
Especially if it is something
like the Arctic Monkeys or...
1391
01:11:24,958 --> 01:11:26,083
Foo Fighters.
1392
01:11:31,708 --> 01:11:33,792
About time England won a World Cup, innit?
1393
01:11:33,875 --> 01:11:38,125
-[Steve] Yeah.
-[exhales heavily] 1966. Sort it out.
1394
01:11:38,208 --> 01:11:40,375
There's some fresh blood
coming through the ranks now.
1395
01:11:40,458 --> 01:11:43,000
Got some good players.
They need to be managed, though.
1396
01:11:43,083 --> 01:11:44,125
Sturridge.
1397
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:48,208
Yeah, come and play for us, boy.
1398
01:11:48,291 --> 01:11:50,041
Not this thing,
"You can't have foreign players."
1399
01:11:50,125 --> 01:11:53,250
-He was born in England.
-No, I know. But it's like...
1400
01:11:53,333 --> 01:11:55,333
You can't have foreign players
in an international team.
1401
01:11:55,417 --> 01:11:56,583
-No.
-It's just for clubs.
1402
01:11:56,667 --> 01:12:01,167
I know. I'm saying get him in,
get him up front. Let's get some goals.
1403
01:12:06,833 --> 01:12:09,083
-Dom? Bob Marley.
-Hmm?
1404
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:11,042
Am I right?
1405
01:12:12,583 --> 01:12:13,625
Yeah.
1406
01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:18,417
[chuckles]
1407
01:12:20,375 --> 01:12:21,625
Mmm.
1408
01:12:23,042 --> 01:12:24,958
-Same again?
-No, I can't.
1409
01:12:25,042 --> 01:12:27,042
-No? See you later.
-Cheers.
1410
01:12:27,125 --> 01:12:28,791
-Thanks for the drinks.
-Not a problem, mate.
1411
01:12:28,875 --> 01:12:31,250
See you tomorrow.
[chuckles] Lightweights.
1412
01:12:31,333 --> 01:12:32,792
-Where are you going?
-I just--
1413
01:12:32,875 --> 01:12:35,458
-No, we're gonna have another one.
-Really?
1414
01:12:36,041 --> 01:12:37,250
We're gonna have a laugh.
1415
01:12:38,083 --> 01:12:39,500
-Come on.
-Yeah.
1416
01:12:41,208 --> 01:12:43,625
You're the only one who cares,
if I'm being honest.
1417
01:12:43,708 --> 01:12:45,167
-Cheers, man.
-Yeah.
1418
01:12:45,250 --> 01:12:46,625
-You're my nigga.
-Whoa!
1419
01:12:46,708 --> 01:12:48,708
-Hey, David, you can't say that.
-You are.
1420
01:12:48,792 --> 01:12:51,208
-You are my real nigga.
-Stop... You don't say that.
1421
01:12:51,292 --> 01:12:52,750
-What?
-Listen. You can't say that.
1422
01:12:52,833 --> 01:12:55,083
I can say it, maybe.
You can't say it.
1423
01:12:55,166 --> 01:12:56,916
-You call me it, then.
-I'm not gonna...
1424
01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:59,333
-Call me a nigga.
-I'm not gonna call you...
1425
01:12:59,417 --> 01:13:01,833
-I'm not gonna do that.
-Call me a nigga.
1426
01:13:01,916 --> 01:13:03,583
-Just, shh...
-Call me a nigga.
1427
01:13:03,667 --> 01:13:04,875
Stop saying that.
1428
01:13:07,166 --> 01:13:08,875
-You're my nigga. Okay?
-Yeah.
1429
01:13:08,958 --> 01:13:09,958
-All right.
-Cheers.
1430
01:13:10,042 --> 01:13:13,792
Great, go to bed. Jesus.
1431
01:13:15,875 --> 01:13:17,625
-That's your credit card.
-What?
1432
01:13:17,708 --> 01:13:19,500
-That's your credit card.
-It's not working.
1433
01:13:19,583 --> 01:13:20,792
It's a credit... It's not...
1434
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:39,042
Cool, dudes.
1435
01:13:40,250 --> 01:13:43,000
Battle of the Bands, innit? [chuckles]
1436
01:13:43,083 --> 01:13:45,166
A great night. They do it every month.
1437
01:13:45,250 --> 01:13:49,042
Each band gets along as many of their fans
as they can to watch them.
1438
01:13:49,125 --> 01:13:51,250
The promoter gets down
some record companies.
1439
01:13:51,333 --> 01:13:52,583
And we battle it out. [chuckles]
1440
01:13:52,667 --> 01:13:55,500
It's not a competition.
You know, we could all get signed.
1441
01:13:55,583 --> 01:13:59,750
Um, but you do go on in order
of how many people you got along.
1442
01:13:59,833 --> 01:14:02,458
So the more you get along,
the later you go on,
1443
01:14:02,542 --> 01:14:05,208
and a better warmed up crowd you play to.
1444
01:14:05,291 --> 01:14:06,500
-You're on first.
-Great.
1445
01:14:06,583 --> 01:14:07,792
How many people did we get?
1446
01:14:07,875 --> 01:14:09,167
-Doesn't matter.
-[promoter] Two.
1447
01:14:09,250 --> 01:14:11,083
Glad I said it didn't matter
before I found out.
1448
01:14:11,166 --> 01:14:12,750
So, proves I'm telling the truth.
1449
01:14:12,833 --> 01:14:14,375
-That's depressing.
-[David] Joking, ain't you?
1450
01:14:14,458 --> 01:14:16,375
No point in playing to the converted
all the time.
1451
01:14:16,458 --> 01:14:18,875
Let's get on there
and win over the other bands' fans.
1452
01:14:18,958 --> 01:14:21,708
-Come on, chop-chop.
-Yeah. Ah, whoo!
1453
01:14:21,791 --> 01:14:22,833
[David] Come on.
1454
01:14:23,708 --> 01:14:25,667
Hello. [chuckles]
Oh...
1455
01:14:25,750 --> 01:14:27,458
We are Foregone Conclusion.
1456
01:14:27,541 --> 01:14:29,416
Come through. We're all in this together.
1457
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:31,458
Doesn't matter what band
you've come to see.
1458
01:14:31,541 --> 01:14:32,708
Let's see all the bands, yeah?
1459
01:14:32,791 --> 01:14:35,541
We're gonna kick off with a song
called "Native American."
1460
01:14:35,625 --> 01:14:37,042
Um... [chuckles]
1461
01:14:37,125 --> 01:14:39,958
Typical Brent,
getting political straight away.
1462
01:14:40,042 --> 01:14:42,667
No, it's all about how the white man went
1463
01:14:42,750 --> 01:14:46,208
and, sort of, slaughtered them
and enslaved them.
1464
01:14:46,291 --> 01:14:48,541
And it's about time
someone said something, so...
1465
01:14:49,041 --> 01:14:50,666
Guilty. [chuckles]
1466
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,083
Although they are having the last laugh.
1467
01:14:53,166 --> 01:14:56,208
So they can do what they like now
in them reservations, can't they?
1468
01:14:57,041 --> 01:15:01,000
Gambling, prostitution, probably.
I don't know.
1469
01:15:01,083 --> 01:15:04,167
But definitely gambling.
Swings and roundabouts.
1470
01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:05,917
I don't think they pay tax, do they?
1471
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,083
-Stop talking. Let's just do the song.
-Yeah.
1472
01:15:08,167 --> 01:15:13,792
And, uh, you'll also learn why they don't
like being called Red Indians anymore.
1473
01:15:13,875 --> 01:15:16,000
So, "Native American."
1474
01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:23,916
[Steve] Don't think there's
real racism on David's part.
1475
01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:26,792
I just think he just doesn't quite get it,
does he?
1476
01:15:26,875 --> 01:15:28,125
Yeah, totally.
1477
01:15:28,833 --> 01:15:31,958
♪ White man's eyes too blind to see ♪
1478
01:15:34,667 --> 01:15:38,375
♪ A gentle race so wild and free ♪
1479
01:15:40,583 --> 01:15:43,792
♪ They called you savages
Called you bad ♪
1480
01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:49,917
♪ But the scalping thing
Was only when you got real mad ♪
1481
01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:51,000
♪ So ♪
1482
01:15:52,708 --> 01:15:56,125
♪ Oh, oh
Native American ♪
1483
01:15:58,292 --> 01:16:01,833
♪ Soar like an eagle
Sit like a pelican ♪
1484
01:16:04,792 --> 01:16:08,292
♪ Oh, oh, don't call us Indians ♪
1485
01:16:09,917 --> 01:16:14,167
♪ We're more like West Eurasians
Crossed with Siberians ♪
1486
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,792
[chanting]
1487
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,833
-Everyone.
-[continues chanting]
1488
01:16:31,875 --> 01:16:34,833
♪ Oh, oh
Native American ♪
1489
01:16:37,500 --> 01:16:41,000
♪ Soar like an eagle
Sit like a pelican ♪
1490
01:16:41,916 --> 01:16:43,125
[David groans]
1491
01:16:45,542 --> 01:16:48,917
Wasn't great, but would have been better.
There was a little surprise.
1492
01:16:49,000 --> 01:16:51,000
Dom was meant to come on
during "Native American" and didn't.
1493
01:16:51,083 --> 01:16:52,250
Why didn't you come on?
1494
01:16:52,333 --> 01:16:53,667
-I couldn't.
-Why not?
1495
01:16:54,583 --> 01:16:56,000
Something came over me.
1496
01:16:56,083 --> 01:16:58,916
-Ooh, stage fright?
-No, dignity.
1497
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:01,333
Don't think you can get more dignified
than a great warrior, so...
1498
01:17:01,417 --> 01:17:03,083
I'm not even a Native American.
1499
01:17:03,167 --> 01:17:05,833
No, you're the closest thing we've got,
and that's a fact. So...
1500
01:17:05,917 --> 01:17:07,708
Okay, Madonna Kebab have pulled out.
1501
01:17:07,792 --> 01:17:10,208
-Anyone wanna go on early?
-We're not going on early.
1502
01:17:10,875 --> 01:17:12,417
We can go on again.
We've got loads of songs.
1503
01:17:12,500 --> 01:17:13,666
-You're all right.
-I can do it.
1504
01:17:13,750 --> 01:17:15,625
-I could do one of my tracks.
-In that?
1505
01:17:15,708 --> 01:17:18,500
Yeah, I got a backing track. Not in this.
I'll take this off. Two minutes.
1506
01:17:18,583 --> 01:17:19,916
Got your stuff now?
Come on. Hurry up.
1507
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:21,000
-No.
-[promoter] Come on.
1508
01:17:21,083 --> 01:17:24,125
You don't wanna do that.
Backing track at a Battle of the Bands.
1509
01:17:24,208 --> 01:17:25,875
Didn't know it was karaoke.
1510
01:17:27,625 --> 01:17:30,292
♪ Yo, I'm tired of this minimum wage ♪
1511
01:17:30,375 --> 01:17:33,333
♪ Tired of this cage
Tired of not being on the stage ♪
1512
01:17:33,417 --> 01:17:35,917
♪ Tired of no one reading
What I'm writing on the page ♪
1513
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:38,250
♪ Tired of hanging out
With guys twice my age ♪
1514
01:17:38,333 --> 01:17:40,833
♪ But what's the use of dreams
To a human being ♪
1515
01:17:40,917 --> 01:17:42,875
♪ If they always prove unseen ♪
1516
01:17:42,958 --> 01:17:44,417
♪ If I am who I think I am ♪
1517
01:17:44,500 --> 01:17:46,667
♪ Then I gotta transform
Be a better man ♪
1518
01:17:46,750 --> 01:17:49,042
♪ And if you are who you think you are ♪
1519
01:17:49,125 --> 01:17:51,583
♪ You should be above the clouds
You should be a star ♪
1520
01:17:51,667 --> 01:17:54,208
♪ From what I see I'm sure it's hard ♪
1521
01:17:54,292 --> 01:17:58,042
♪ Can we be more
Than the cards we're dealt? ♪
1522
01:17:58,125 --> 01:17:59,375
[man] Yeah!
1523
01:17:59,458 --> 01:18:00,750
♪ Yeah ♪
1524
01:18:01,583 --> 01:18:03,750
♪ Maybe this is just the start ♪
1525
01:18:03,833 --> 01:18:07,917
♪ Why can't we change
The cards we're dealt? ♪
1526
01:18:09,167 --> 01:18:11,542
♪ Well, it's more real
Than anything I ever felt ♪
1527
01:18:11,625 --> 01:18:13,625
♪ But I'm feeling like an irrelevance ♪
1528
01:18:13,708 --> 01:18:16,667
♪ I wanna soar with eagles
Not waddle with pelicans ♪
1529
01:18:16,750 --> 01:18:18,667
♪ Okay true
They're birds of prey, too ♪
1530
01:18:18,750 --> 01:18:21,417
♪ But not the cool ones
You want associated with you ♪
1531
01:18:21,500 --> 01:18:23,458
♪ Still I wouldn't mind the wingspan ♪
1532
01:18:23,542 --> 01:18:25,958
♪ I could fly away
From always being everybody's wingman ♪
1533
01:18:26,042 --> 01:18:28,000
♪ I'm proper different
You gotta listen ♪
1534
01:18:28,083 --> 01:18:30,917
♪ I want a living where I got a bit more
Than a pot to piss in ♪
1535
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:33,042
♪ I'm about to prove
I can kick it off soon ♪
1536
01:18:33,125 --> 01:18:36,000
♪ My time is overdue like a synagogue roof
Come on ♪
1537
01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:39,000
♪ Na, na, na,
Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
1538
01:18:39,083 --> 01:18:40,667
Everybody, come on.
1539
01:18:40,750 --> 01:18:43,083
♪ Na, na, na,
Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
1540
01:18:43,167 --> 01:18:45,583
Come on and put your hands in the air.
1541
01:18:45,667 --> 01:18:48,000
♪ Na, na, na,
Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
1542
01:18:48,083 --> 01:18:50,792
Keep them hands in the air.
Keep them coming, come on.
1543
01:18:50,875 --> 01:18:52,792
♪ Na, na, na,
Na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
1544
01:18:52,875 --> 01:18:55,333
♪ It's more real
Than anything I ever felt ♪
1545
01:18:55,708 --> 01:18:57,583
[crowd cheering]
1546
01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:03,500
[Dom] Thank you.
1547
01:19:04,333 --> 01:19:06,125
-[man] It was great.
-[Dom] Thanks.
1548
01:19:06,208 --> 01:19:07,666
[Dom] Thank you. Appreciate it.
1549
01:19:07,750 --> 01:19:09,750
[crowd continues cheering]
1550
01:19:16,208 --> 01:19:18,833
-What did you think?
-Ah, I wasn't really watching, mate.
1551
01:19:18,916 --> 01:19:19,958
I was just, um...
1552
01:19:20,833 --> 01:19:22,458
Er, you know...
1553
01:19:22,542 --> 01:19:24,667
I like the lyric
about the eagles and pelicans.
1554
01:19:24,750 --> 01:19:26,166
-It's like a reference--
-Yeah, I know.
1555
01:19:26,250 --> 01:19:28,208
A week ago,
you didn't like songs with pelicans in.
1556
01:19:28,291 --> 01:19:30,500
-I'm saying I don't--
-What is going on, bruv? So...
1557
01:19:30,583 --> 01:19:33,292
-Hey, dude came back. Pog.
-I'm Pog.
1558
01:19:33,375 --> 01:19:36,000
-I, er, work for Toke Records.
-Toke Records, there it is.
1559
01:19:36,083 --> 01:19:37,208
-Did you write that?
-Yeah. Yeah.
1560
01:19:37,292 --> 01:19:39,958
Like I write the raps,
but also make little backing tracks,
1561
01:19:40,042 --> 01:19:41,208
like, on my laptop.
1562
01:19:41,292 --> 01:19:42,708
Have you ever demoed them properly?
1563
01:19:42,791 --> 01:19:44,000
-We're always in the studio.
-No--
1564
01:19:44,083 --> 01:19:48,083
-I'm trying to mix rap with real songs.
-I do my own songs as well.
1565
01:19:48,167 --> 01:19:49,792
-Are you his manager?
-A bit more than that.
1566
01:19:49,875 --> 01:19:51,500
Yeah. Come on.
1567
01:19:52,125 --> 01:19:53,958
-So...
-No, I'm solo.
1568
01:19:54,041 --> 01:19:55,458
Why are you lying?
1569
01:19:55,541 --> 01:19:57,041
-Give us a call, a chat.
-Will do.
1570
01:19:57,125 --> 01:19:58,583
-Yeah, wicked.
-Yeah. Brilliant. Cheers.
1571
01:19:58,667 --> 01:19:59,917
-Let's have a look at that.
-No, it's...
1572
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:03,458
What? What? I can't even look at it now?
What has gotten into you?
1573
01:20:03,875 --> 01:20:04,875
[clears throat]
1574
01:20:05,500 --> 01:20:08,375
[Dom softly] "Tired of this rap race...
And that chase...
1575
01:20:08,458 --> 01:20:10,125
And that chase...
1576
01:20:11,208 --> 01:20:12,333
That chase..."
1577
01:20:12,417 --> 01:20:13,833
[David sighs heavily]
1578
01:20:13,917 --> 01:20:15,292
[Dom mumbling]
1579
01:20:20,291 --> 01:20:23,083
Are you gonna bother calling that Pog
for a meeting?
1580
01:20:25,250 --> 01:20:27,708
-Yeah. Yeah, I thought I would.
-Yeah.
1581
01:20:27,792 --> 01:20:29,542
-Hear him out and make a decision.
-Yeah.
1582
01:20:29,625 --> 01:20:31,083
-You want me to come with you?
-No.
1583
01:20:31,167 --> 01:20:32,167
-No?
-No, you're all right.
1584
01:20:32,250 --> 01:20:34,041
So he doesn't think you're just a...
1585
01:20:34,625 --> 01:20:36,500
-Some idiot off the street?
-[scoffs]
1586
01:20:36,583 --> 01:20:39,000
That you got the big boys
behind you if you want.
1587
01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:40,708
I wanna go and see
what he's got to say...
1588
01:20:40,791 --> 01:20:42,500
-[David] Right, and...
-and... Yeah.
1589
01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:46,417
You want them to tear you a new one,
do you?
1590
01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:49,417
And screw you?
'Cause that's what they do.
1591
01:20:49,500 --> 01:20:51,333
-Yeah?
-No.
1592
01:20:51,417 --> 01:20:53,167
-I'm gonna hear him out.
-No!
1593
01:20:53,750 --> 01:20:56,458
Ah, you're gonna hear him out, okay.
1594
01:20:57,083 --> 01:20:58,833
-I'm gonna finish this line.
-Yeah.
1595
01:20:59,375 --> 01:21:01,625
-This verse.
-Have you got a rhyme for "gullible"?
1596
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:09,750
Day off today. [chuckles]
1597
01:21:11,125 --> 01:21:13,458
I tried to get a gig in tonight
but I couldn't,
1598
01:21:13,542 --> 01:21:16,000
so I'm just chillaxing all day.
1599
01:21:16,083 --> 01:21:17,208
[chuckles]
1600
01:21:17,291 --> 01:21:18,291
Not bad, is it?
1601
01:21:19,125 --> 01:21:21,750
So, here he is.
1602
01:21:22,333 --> 01:21:24,208
What are you doing today?
1603
01:21:24,292 --> 01:21:26,750
I'm going home.
I live about four miles away.
1604
01:21:26,833 --> 01:21:29,041
[chuckling] I'm staying.
I've paid for it.
1605
01:21:31,958 --> 01:21:35,750
Final gig tomorrow.
I've saved the best till last. Typical.
1606
01:21:35,833 --> 01:21:38,042
Um, we're gonna do a Christmas song.
1607
01:21:38,125 --> 01:21:41,167
I've had it for a while, actually,
and it's based on a true story.
1608
01:21:41,250 --> 01:21:45,333
Um, I read about this, uh, orphan kid
in the local paper.
1609
01:21:45,417 --> 01:21:50,333
Um, he was dying and he just wanted
to stay alive till Christmas.
1610
01:21:50,417 --> 01:21:53,458
And this sort of imagines
me singing to him,
1611
01:21:53,541 --> 01:21:55,041
with the stuff that he's going through,
1612
01:21:55,125 --> 01:21:57,458
not to worry, because Santa's coming.
It's sweet.
1613
01:21:57,542 --> 01:22:00,000
Um, and I've arranged for snow to fall.
1614
01:22:00,083 --> 01:22:02,042
Magic moment. Production value.
1615
01:22:02,125 --> 01:22:03,208
-David, sorry.
-Yeah.
1616
01:22:03,291 --> 01:22:05,666
-I heard back from the hire company.
-Yep.
1617
01:22:05,750 --> 01:22:10,250
The snow is gonna cost 1,500 quid.
So, you know, not worth it really.
1618
01:22:10,333 --> 01:22:12,958
Well, none of it's been worth it, has it?
So...
1619
01:22:13,541 --> 01:22:17,000
The whole tour's been...
20 grand down. [chuckles]
1620
01:22:17,083 --> 01:22:18,833
I thought there'd be incomings.
There wasn't.
1621
01:22:18,917 --> 01:22:20,417
Just all outgoings.
1622
01:22:20,500 --> 01:22:23,292
Might as well just spend
another 1,500 quid and...
1623
01:22:23,375 --> 01:22:25,708
Well, no, I mean that's...
Don't do that.
1624
01:22:25,792 --> 01:22:28,292
That's throwing good money
after bad, David.
1625
01:22:29,458 --> 01:22:33,000
-Just cut your losses.
-If I cut my losses... [stutters]
1626
01:22:33,083 --> 01:22:36,417
Why? You know,
I thought it'd be a tour with a band.
1627
01:22:36,500 --> 01:22:38,791
It's not a band.
They're not staying here on their day off.
1628
01:22:38,875 --> 01:22:41,083
They're away.
No one's come to see us.
1629
01:22:41,167 --> 01:22:43,375
We're not gonna get signed. So...
1630
01:22:43,458 --> 01:22:45,458
-So don't waste more money.
-Why not?
1631
01:22:46,458 --> 01:22:48,583
What, why not? Why not what?
1632
01:22:49,875 --> 01:22:51,208
Do you think I'm a prat?
1633
01:22:52,916 --> 01:22:54,083
No. No.
1634
01:22:54,875 --> 01:22:55,917
I think...
1635
01:22:57,458 --> 01:22:58,916
To be honest, I think you're...
1636
01:22:59,625 --> 01:23:01,250
I think you're chasing something...
1637
01:23:01,333 --> 01:23:03,083
-I can't have.
-that you don't need.
1638
01:23:03,167 --> 01:23:05,583
That's not gonna...
That's not gonna help.
1639
01:23:05,666 --> 01:23:06,708
What do you mean?
1640
01:23:06,791 --> 01:23:09,000
[stammers] I mean, I think... [sighs]
1641
01:23:09,083 --> 01:23:12,875
You seem to think
that unless you're on stage performing,
1642
01:23:12,958 --> 01:23:14,833
that people aren't gonna like you.
1643
01:23:14,916 --> 01:23:17,458
[clicks tongue] They're probably not.
1644
01:23:17,541 --> 01:23:20,916
Well, then why would you wanna be liked
by people like that anyway?
1645
01:23:21,708 --> 01:23:24,000
You don't have to be on stage
to be worth something.
1646
01:23:24,083 --> 01:23:25,083
[sighs]
1647
01:23:26,042 --> 01:23:29,792
And people who like you are still gonna
like you even if you're not performing.
1648
01:23:30,666 --> 01:23:33,916
Problem is not a lot of people like me,
do they? [sighs]
1649
01:23:35,875 --> 01:23:38,417
Don't spend any more money
on this tour, okay? Please?
1650
01:23:39,333 --> 01:23:43,750
Don't cash in another pension or whatever.
I'll do the rest for free.
1651
01:23:46,083 --> 01:23:48,291
-The snow costs 1,500 quid--
-We don't need snow.
1652
01:23:48,375 --> 01:23:49,542
We don't need it.
1653
01:23:50,875 --> 01:23:54,542
And... for the record, I like you.
1654
01:23:57,333 --> 01:24:00,333
-Yeah? [chuckles]
-Don't make me say it again.
1655
01:24:00,416 --> 01:24:03,416
-All right? Have a good day.
-See you later.
1656
01:24:08,833 --> 01:24:12,000
[David] Dan's right. We don't need snow.
1657
01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:15,708
I'm usually really good with budgets.
1658
01:24:15,792 --> 01:24:19,083
But I never dreamt so few people
would wanna come along and see us.
1659
01:24:19,167 --> 01:24:20,167
You know, I was...
1660
01:24:21,291 --> 01:24:24,000
If the gigs would've sold out,
I would have only lost about eight grand.
1661
01:24:24,083 --> 01:24:25,875
Which is fine,
1662
01:24:25,958 --> 01:24:27,625
if a record company
would've liked us.
1663
01:24:28,250 --> 01:24:29,292
But...
1664
01:24:32,208 --> 01:24:36,417
I just wanted some shitty snow.
Just as a magic moment, you know.
1665
01:24:36,500 --> 01:24:38,500
[piano music playing]
1666
01:24:42,500 --> 01:24:48,833
♪ Don't cry, it's Christmas
Santa's coming soon ♪
1667
01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:52,958
♪ Though you ain't got a mummy or daddy ♪
1668
01:24:53,042 --> 01:24:55,458
♪ Santa still loves you ♪
1669
01:24:56,208 --> 01:24:59,292
♪ And he's riding on his reindeer ♪
1670
01:24:59,375 --> 01:25:02,292
[Andy] It's been
an interesting tour, this.
1671
01:25:02,375 --> 01:25:05,875
Um, I think we possibly took it all
a little bit too seriously
1672
01:25:05,958 --> 01:25:07,875
when we were in the middle of it all.
1673
01:25:07,958 --> 01:25:12,375
Um, but, actually, it's definitely one
of the funniest tours I've ever been on.
1674
01:25:12,458 --> 01:25:13,458
I quite like Brent.
1675
01:25:14,208 --> 01:25:20,667
♪ Don't cry, it's Christmas
Santa's feeling fine ♪
1676
01:25:20,750 --> 01:25:24,083
♪ Though you know you'll never see him ♪
1677
01:25:24,792 --> 01:25:27,583
♪ He's not just in your mind ♪
1678
01:25:27,667 --> 01:25:33,792
♪ And it's not that he's invisible
It's because you're going blind ♪
1679
01:25:33,875 --> 01:25:40,333
♪ But don't cry, it's Christmas
Santa's feeling fine ♪
1680
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:44,667
You know what? End of the day,
it's better than a proper job.
1681
01:25:44,750 --> 01:25:46,666
Like it's... it's been all right.
1682
01:25:47,583 --> 01:25:50,000
Few drinks, few gigs.
1683
01:25:51,292 --> 01:25:52,625
Could have been worse.
1684
01:25:52,708 --> 01:25:58,583
♪ Though he's got a billion children
He's only got one day ♪
1685
01:25:59,875 --> 01:26:05,458
♪ You've got slightly less than that
If I were you I'd pray ♪
1686
01:26:05,542 --> 01:26:09,208
♪ But don't cry, it's Christmas ♪
1687
01:26:09,292 --> 01:26:12,500
♪ Everything's okay ♪
1688
01:26:15,375 --> 01:26:17,042
[crowd murmuring and laughing]
1689
01:26:19,292 --> 01:26:22,167
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1690
01:26:22,250 --> 01:26:25,958
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
1691
01:26:26,042 --> 01:26:28,792
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1692
01:26:28,875 --> 01:26:32,625
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
1693
01:26:32,708 --> 01:26:35,541
[Dan] I may have been an idiot,
but I paid for the snow.
1694
01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:39,041
Of course it's a waste of money.
It's a huge waste of money.
1695
01:26:39,125 --> 01:26:42,583
Um, but at least it's my money.
At least it's not more of his.
1696
01:26:42,667 --> 01:26:45,583
And, to be fair,
I've made more than enough out of him.
1697
01:26:45,667 --> 01:26:49,083
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1698
01:26:49,167 --> 01:26:51,833
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
1699
01:26:52,542 --> 01:26:55,458
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1700
01:26:55,542 --> 01:26:59,167
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
1701
01:26:59,250 --> 01:27:01,958
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1702
01:27:02,042 --> 01:27:05,792
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
-♪ It's Christmas ♪
1703
01:27:05,875 --> 01:27:08,708
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1704
01:27:08,792 --> 01:27:11,208
♪ It's Christmas ♪
1705
01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:35,792
[David] I don't need to be a rock star,
you know?
1706
01:27:35,875 --> 01:27:37,667
That's just something I enjoy doing.
1707
01:27:38,583 --> 01:27:41,500
I can live
without being "a success." [chuckles]
1708
01:27:42,292 --> 01:27:43,292
But, um...
1709
01:27:44,625 --> 01:27:47,958
I couldn't have lived without trying.
And I did that.
1710
01:27:48,875 --> 01:27:51,500
So... And everything works out,
doesn't it?
1711
01:27:51,583 --> 01:27:53,833
You think you want one thing
along the way,
1712
01:27:53,917 --> 01:27:56,750
and then you realize
you needed something else.
1713
01:27:56,833 --> 01:28:01,417
Life's a struggle...
with little beautiful surprises
1714
01:28:01,500 --> 01:28:04,750
that make you wanna carry on
through all the shit
1715
01:28:05,000 --> 01:28:07,958
to the next
little beautiful surprise. [chuckles]
1716
01:28:08,042 --> 01:28:09,417
So, yeah,
1717
01:28:10,458 --> 01:28:11,625
all good.
1718
01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:16,917
He's back. [laughs]
1719
01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:18,333
Christ. See you, Kaz.
1720
01:28:19,458 --> 01:28:21,083
-Did you miss me?
-Did you have fun?
1721
01:28:21,167 --> 01:28:23,333
[laughing] Fun's not the word.
1722
01:28:23,417 --> 01:28:25,958
Ooh, yeah. Yeah, it was fun.
1723
01:28:26,042 --> 01:28:28,042
[laughing]
1724
01:28:28,125 --> 01:28:29,375
-[Nigel] Here he comes.
-Come on.
1725
01:28:29,458 --> 01:28:33,833
What resilience from a human being.
I've never known anyone like him.
1726
01:28:33,917 --> 01:28:35,917
[exclaiming and laughing]
1727
01:28:36,750 --> 01:28:38,458
-How are you?
-Buzzing, mate.
1728
01:28:38,542 --> 01:28:40,250
-Good.
-Absolutely buzzing.
1729
01:28:40,333 --> 01:28:42,167
-Yes, mate.
-Best time of my life.
1730
01:28:42,250 --> 01:28:44,833
And everything worked out brilliant,
you know.
1731
01:28:44,917 --> 01:28:46,083
Dom's got a little record deal.
1732
01:28:46,167 --> 01:28:47,792
♪ If I am who I think I am ♪
1733
01:28:47,875 --> 01:28:50,416
♪ Then I gotta transform
Be a better man ♪
1734
01:28:51,125 --> 01:28:52,916
[David] Making a single. Toke Records.
1735
01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:55,375
I invited them down.
"Come out and check out this kid."
1736
01:28:55,458 --> 01:28:57,875
They went, "All right." Boom.
1737
01:28:57,958 --> 01:29:01,458
The band are on tour with Peter Andre.
So they've fallen on their feet.
1738
01:29:01,542 --> 01:29:04,125
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1739
01:29:04,208 --> 01:29:08,417
♪ Mysterious girl
I wanna get close to you ♪
1740
01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:11,333
[David] And I've worked out,
if I do overtime,
1741
01:29:11,417 --> 01:29:13,958
work Saturdays
for about eight or nine months,
1742
01:29:14,041 --> 01:29:16,625
I can do it all again. Just call them up.
1743
01:29:16,708 --> 01:29:19,458
"It's back on.
We're gonna kick some more arse."
1744
01:29:19,541 --> 01:29:21,375
Brent?
Got Bob Wonk on the phone.
1745
01:29:21,458 --> 01:29:24,083
-He needs jam rags ASAP.
-On it.
1746
01:29:24,167 --> 01:29:26,000
Simon Cowell didn't sign you up, then?
1747
01:29:26,083 --> 01:29:27,500
[all laughing]
1748
01:29:29,125 --> 01:29:30,583
No. No.
1749
01:29:32,375 --> 01:29:33,250
Banta.
1750
01:29:34,250 --> 01:29:37,250
[Karen] I feel... I do quite feel
sorry for him, to be honest.
1751
01:29:37,333 --> 01:29:40,208
The boys here, they're quite rude to him.
1752
01:29:40,291 --> 01:29:42,750
And I know he's gone
on this tour and he's doing that,
1753
01:29:42,833 --> 01:29:44,917
but I kinda feel like... [breathes deeply]
1754
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:46,542
Sorry, I don't know
why I'm getting emotional.
1755
01:29:46,625 --> 01:29:47,916
I just feel like...
1756
01:29:48,583 --> 01:29:51,292
I can see through it sometimes.
1757
01:29:51,375 --> 01:29:52,750
His smiles.
1758
01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:55,250
[Karen] I hope he does well.
1759
01:29:55,333 --> 01:29:56,750
They can laugh.
1760
01:29:57,666 --> 01:29:59,125
They're no better than me.
1761
01:29:59,792 --> 01:30:01,500
Just 'cause they're reps
who like being reps,
1762
01:30:01,583 --> 01:30:03,666
and I'm a rep
who wants to be something else.
1763
01:30:04,250 --> 01:30:06,791
With that attitude, they'll be reps
for the rest of their life.
1764
01:30:09,042 --> 01:30:11,292
I might be a rep
for the rest of my life, but...
1765
01:30:12,958 --> 01:30:14,208
I was a rock star once.
1766
01:30:14,292 --> 01:30:15,917
Useless prick now though, ain't you?
1767
01:30:16,000 --> 01:30:17,792
[all laughing]
1768
01:30:17,875 --> 01:30:20,167
What are you good at, eh?
Nothing.
1769
01:30:21,583 --> 01:30:23,125
-[all gasp]
-[Jezza] Fuck.
1770
01:30:23,208 --> 01:30:25,667
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
1771
01:30:25,750 --> 01:30:26,917
Knobhead.
1772
01:30:28,375 --> 01:30:30,917
-I thought you was great.
-At what?
1773
01:30:31,917 --> 01:30:33,458
I came to see you play last week.
1774
01:30:34,458 --> 01:30:36,833
Oh, I... I didn't see you.
1775
01:30:36,916 --> 01:30:38,958
No, I snuck in.
I didn't wanna put you off.
1776
01:30:39,042 --> 01:30:41,083
[laughs] Cheers.
1777
01:30:42,917 --> 01:30:46,042
-Want a coffee?
-No, I'm... Got a free one coming.
1778
01:30:46,125 --> 01:30:47,667
[chuckles]
1779
01:30:47,750 --> 01:30:48,792
Costa.
1780
01:30:50,125 --> 01:30:52,333
-Actually, I got two coming, I think.
-Huh?
1781
01:30:53,208 --> 01:30:55,125
-Do you want one?
-Yes, please.
1782
01:30:55,791 --> 01:30:57,750
Two coffees, coming up. [chuckles]
1783
01:30:59,375 --> 01:31:02,250
-Shall I come with you?
-If you want. Yeah.
1784
01:31:03,166 --> 01:31:04,833
[David sighs]
1785
01:31:04,916 --> 01:31:06,166
[David] Oh, God.
1786
01:31:09,000 --> 01:31:12,375
[David] Oh, trust me.
I'm already thinking of a new song.
1787
01:31:12,458 --> 01:31:14,542
-[Pauline] Just from going for coffee?
-Yeah. It's what I do.
1788
01:31:14,625 --> 01:31:16,625
I sort of take everyday situations,
1789
01:31:16,708 --> 01:31:20,625
and then I look at them
from a different perspective.
1790
01:31:20,708 --> 01:31:23,625
It's gonna be a Coldplay vibe.
'Cause that's what Chris Martin does.
1791
01:31:23,708 --> 01:31:26,042
He gets really mundane things
1792
01:31:26,125 --> 01:31:29,625
and he makes them about the universe,
and stars, and electricity and shit, so...
1793
01:31:29,708 --> 01:31:32,292
-It's interesting.
-Yeah, probably stick it in C major.
1794
01:31:32,375 --> 01:31:34,750
-Is that your favorite chord?
-Just a bit, yeah.
1795
01:31:34,833 --> 01:31:36,625
-Guilty.
-[Pauline chuckles]
1796
01:31:38,708 --> 01:31:41,875
♪ I was looking up to heaven ♪
1797
01:31:41,958 --> 01:31:45,375
♪ It was right under my nose ♪
1798
01:31:45,458 --> 01:31:48,750
♪ I had traveled many light years ♪
1799
01:31:48,833 --> 01:31:51,375
♪ It was right across the road ♪
1800
01:31:52,833 --> 01:31:56,208
♪ A billion trillion grains of stardust ♪
1801
01:31:56,292 --> 01:31:59,583
♪ Floating round in space ♪
1802
01:31:59,667 --> 01:32:02,458
♪ Two of them collided ♪
1803
01:32:02,542 --> 01:32:06,417
♪ In an ordinary place ♪
1804
01:32:06,500 --> 01:32:09,875
♪ We are electricity ♪
1805
01:32:09,958 --> 01:32:12,667
♪ We will never die ♪
1806
01:32:12,750 --> 01:32:14,833
♪ We'll just burn and burst ♪
1807
01:32:14,917 --> 01:32:17,042
♪ And return to the sky ♪
1808
01:32:17,125 --> 01:32:19,125
[vocalizing]
1809
01:32:30,417 --> 01:32:33,792
♪ This world can't contain you ♪
1810
01:32:33,875 --> 01:32:37,250
♪ Gravity won't restrain you ♪
1811
01:32:37,333 --> 01:32:38,958
♪ Fly with me ♪
1812
01:32:39,042 --> 01:32:40,708
♪ High with me ♪
1813
01:32:40,792 --> 01:32:47,625
♪ High ♪
1814
01:32:47,708 --> 01:32:50,917
♪ We are electricity ♪
1815
01:32:51,000 --> 01:32:53,875
♪ We will never die ♪
1816
01:32:53,958 --> 01:32:56,042
♪ We'll just burn and burst ♪
1817
01:32:56,125 --> 01:32:58,000
♪ And return to the sky ♪
1818
01:32:58,083 --> 01:33:01,167
♪ We are electricity ♪
1819
01:33:01,250 --> 01:33:05,500
♪ The universe reflects in you and me ♪
1820
01:33:05,583 --> 01:33:08,042
♪ We're electricity ♪
1821
01:33:08,125 --> 01:33:11,625
♪ The universe reflected ♪
1822
01:33:11,708 --> 01:33:14,875
♪ We are electricity ♪
1823
01:33:14,958 --> 01:33:19,083
♪ The universe reflects in you and me ♪
1824
01:33:19,167 --> 01:33:21,500
♪ We're electricity ♪
1825
01:33:21,583 --> 01:33:25,417
♪ Just when I least expected ♪
1826
01:33:25,500 --> 01:33:28,583
♪ We are electricity ♪
1827
01:33:28,667 --> 01:33:32,958
♪ The universe reflects in you and me ♪
1828
01:33:33,042 --> 01:33:35,292
♪ We're electricity ♪
1829
01:33:35,375 --> 01:33:39,917
♪ Just when I least expected ♪
1830
01:33:49,542 --> 01:33:52,750
♪ Half a tank should get me to Millbank ♪
1831
01:33:52,833 --> 01:33:56,458
♪ I fill her up and head down to Sidcup ♪
1832
01:33:56,542 --> 01:34:00,292
♪ It's just a meeting
It's only fleeting ♪
1833
01:34:00,375 --> 01:34:04,292
♪ It's just a pitch
And then I'm up to Ipswich ♪
1834
01:34:04,375 --> 01:34:06,667
♪ Life on the road ♪
1835
01:34:07,917 --> 01:34:10,042
♪ Don't need a heavy load ♪
1836
01:34:11,417 --> 01:34:14,833
♪ Foot down to the floor ♪
1837
01:34:14,917 --> 01:34:18,625
♪ Seventy miles an hour
But no more ♪
1838
01:34:18,708 --> 01:34:20,708
[vocalizing]
1839
01:34:26,500 --> 01:34:30,042
♪ Wheeler dealing no feeling ♪
1840
01:34:30,125 --> 01:34:33,792
♪ Strictly business
I'm killin' it in Widnes ♪
1841
01:34:33,875 --> 01:34:37,708
♪ Then to Gloucester I get a Costa ♪
1842
01:34:37,792 --> 01:34:41,500
♪ Hard shoulder
Coffee holder ♪
1843
01:34:41,583 --> 01:34:43,917
♪ Life on the road ♪
1844
01:34:45,042 --> 01:34:48,333
♪ Don't need a heavy load ♪
1845
01:34:48,417 --> 01:34:52,125
♪ Foot down to the floor ♪
1846
01:34:52,208 --> 01:34:55,833
♪ Seventy miles an hour
But never more ♪
1847
01:34:55,917 --> 01:34:57,917
[vocalizing]
1848
01:35:11,292 --> 01:35:13,500
♪ Life on the road ♪
1849
01:35:14,792 --> 01:35:17,167
♪ Don't need a heavy load ♪
1850
01:35:18,208 --> 01:35:21,792
♪ Foot down to the floor ♪
1851
01:35:21,875 --> 01:35:26,125
♪ Seventy miles an hour
But no more ♪
1852
01:35:26,208 --> 01:35:29,500
♪ Life on the road ♪
1853
01:35:29,583 --> 01:35:32,917
♪ Don't need a heavy load ♪
1854
01:35:33,000 --> 01:35:36,667
♪ Foot down to the floor ♪
1855
01:35:36,750 --> 01:35:40,583
♪ Seventy miles an hour
But no more ♪
1856
01:35:40,667 --> 01:35:42,708
[vocalizing]