1
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,810
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING)

2
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,008
(ALL SINGING ALONG)

3
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:55,841
(EXPLOSION)

4
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,041
(MUSIC STOPS)

5
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,128
(INDISTINCT TALKING)

6
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,490
That was a bomb.

7
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,046
(PHONE LINES RINGING)

8
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,321
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

9
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,724
KIM: No word as to whether it was
an IED or a specific car bomb.

10
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,940
Over 10 fatalities reported.

11
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:23,060
Sources within ISAF suggest
that ISI may be involved.

12
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,721
Did these phones just go down or did
that fucker hang up on me?

13
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:27,881
(GRUNTS)

14
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,209
Good thing that X was bodgy
or I'd be flying right now!

15
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,764
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

16
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,170
KIM: I can't hear you, honey.

17
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,885
I need to talk to Ed Faber.

18
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,580
(MAN COUGHING)

19
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,020
Well, then who is fronting the show?

20
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,460
I can't hear you!

21
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,100
Hey, that's my ass!

22
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,540
- Do you have a mother?
- (SPEAKING DARI)

23
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,340
Don't put your ass on my hand!

24
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,700
Shut up, donkey pussy!

25
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,420
Whore! Dog-washer!

26
00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,780
My cock in your ear!

27
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,180
My cock in your ear! I shit on your lips!

28
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,860
Eat a fart!

29
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,100
Hello!

30
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,201
Fu...

31
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,460
ED: Listen up. Iraq Two is happening.

32
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,420
The network is stretched thin.
All our talent is going there.

33
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,842
We need people, any people,
to fill the void in Afghanistan.

34
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,940
And you folks here are all the unmarried,

35
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,980
childless personnel in this bureau.

36
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,570
(WOMAN SOBBING)

37
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,180
For those of you who are
behind the scenes, there are

38
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,409
opportunities to be on camera.

39
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,500
Kim, are you going to be joining in?

40
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,762
The travel or the crying?

41
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,200
ED: Um, hopefully, the travel.

42
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:56,900
I'll think about it.

43
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,980
TANYA: (ON TV) The success
of Operation Mongoose

44
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,740
has overshadowed
the real lesson to be learned,

45
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,003
that the Taliban are far from vanquished.

46
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,180
And as the drums of war

47
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,884
beat ever louder in Iraq,

48
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:12,369
the NATO mission in Afghanistan
grows increasingly uncertain.

49
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,170
(PANTING)

50
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,260
Tanya Vanderpoel, outside
Lashkar Gah, Afghanistan,

51
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,964
- VBC World News.
- (PHONE RINGING)

52
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,007
CHRIS: (ON PHONE) Hey.

53
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,340
KIM: I got you! Hey.

54
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,020
Uh, when do you get back from Houston?

55
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,361
CHRIS: I think on Tuesday. Why?

56
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,540
Uh, because I'm going
to Afghanistan on Tuesday.

57
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,540
CHRIS: You're going
to Afghanistan on Tuesday?

58
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:40,900
Yeah.

59
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,860
CHRIS: But you write news copy.

60
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,380
Wait. For how long?

61
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,370
- Like, three months.
- CHRIS: What?

62
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,361
CHRIS: Kim!

63
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,166
KIM: Hey!

64
00:03:58,680 --> 00:03:59,841
I can't believe this worked out!

65
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,060
(KIM LAUGHS)

66
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,460
Hey, you want to have a quickie

67
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:03,846
on the changing table in the bathroom?

68
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,371
Yeah, I don't think I could get it up
with that little koala looking at me.

69
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,686
(CHUCKLES)

70
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,620
Also, they're boarding already.

71
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,260
Hey, don't worry. Just go. Go, go, go.

72
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,660
Oh, shoot, I...
I copied a key for you, so...

73
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:16,900
Plants, mail.

74
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,809
- Anything else I'm forgetting?
- I think that's it.

75
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:20,620
This is crazy.

76
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,500
Listen, I think it's impressive.

77
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:23,820
- Starting a new career?
- (WHIMPERS)

78
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,300
- It's gonna be great.
- (CHUCKLES)

79
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,971
And listen, in three months...

80
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,380
(MIMICKING SCHWARZENEGGER) "I'll be back."

81
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,740
No, that's terrible! No.

82
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,842
Don't remember me like that. No.

83
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,043
Bye. Okay. Okay.

84
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,860
It's not my job. I'm a producer.
General news. Enron.

85
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,420
These coalminers in Pennsylvania,

86
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,940
but you probably didn't see that.

87
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,660
'Cause we got two wars going on now,

88
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,140
so, uh, I know how to set up a BGAN

89
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,900
and no one will sue if I die

90
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,820
so I got an expedited visa,
like, two days ago,

91
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,764
and I guess now I'm a war reporter.

92
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,660
(PASSENGERS GROANING)

93
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,569
Shit dick!

94
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,291
Corkscrew landing.

95
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,460
(LAUGHING) In case
a missile is fired at the aircraft!

96
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,324
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)

97
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,780
Kabul International Airport.

98
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,326
K. I.A.! "Killed In Action." (LAUGHS)

99
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,323
PILOT: (OVER PA) Once again,
we thank you for flying with us.

100
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,007
KIM: Sorry.

101
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,840
Uh, sorry.

102
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,526
Shit.

103
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,969
(TAXI DRIVERS CLAMORING)

104
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,887
No, thank you. No, thank you.

105
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,961
MAN: Miss Baker?

106
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,131
I am Fahim.

107
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,540
Oh, Fahim, hi! Pleased to meet you.

108
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:51,820
The car is over here and we go.

109
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:52,860
(YELLING IN DARI)

110
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,361
Cover your head, shameless whore!

111
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,451
She says, uh... "Welcome to Afghanistan."

112
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,340
Okay, let's go.

113
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,620
Here is your local mobile.
The number is on the back.

114
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,500
Yeah, I ordered some money last week.
Still in the post.

115
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,284
- I'll fix you up next week.
- Okay.

116
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,566
(COUGHS)

117
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,180
Yes, the air here
takes some getting used to.

118
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,140
It's quite polluted with feces.

119
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,402
NIC: Ah, here she is! How are you, Kim?

120
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,363
Welcome to the Stan. My name's Nic.

121
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,820
I'll be doing your security.
I'll take your bag.

122
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,571
Fahim. The police are giving
me shit for parking here.

123
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,860
They just want money.

124
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:28,020
Wait, oh, no. Um, do you need money?
Because the network gave me money.

125
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,282
NIC: No, keep that on you!
FAHIM: No, no, no! Kim, please!

126
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,362
(INDISTINCT YELLING)

127
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,608
Piss off, that's it! That's it! Hey! Hey!

128
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,682
- I'm sorry. Sorry.
- NIC: Piss off!

129
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,780
Remember that we are at altitude here,

130
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,140
so drink plenty of water
while you acclimatize.

131
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,940
Where did you learn English?

132
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,407
At medical school. I was a doctor.

133
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,660
NIC: Listen, rest up tonight.

134
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,240
Tomorrow, I'll drive you
to the base for your embed.

135
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,260
And just one bag,

136
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,408
but make sure you pack
extra socks and knickers.

137
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,524
That's like, um,
it's like "panties," yeah?

138
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,200
(CHUCKLES) Mmm-hmm.

139
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,842
So, you've been embedded before, then?

140
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,260
Not really. We all did
hostile-zone training in 2001.

141
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,443
They taught us to
open our mouths if we get mortared...

142
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,490
- That kind of stuff.
- (GRUNTS)

143
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,490
NIC: Okay.

144
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,486
G'day, Qadar.

145
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,284
(SPEAKING DARI)

146
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,606
FAHIM: The feces smell
all the way to here.

147
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,882
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

148
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,362
Your room, Kim, is upstairs.

149
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,962
(CONVERSING IN DARI)

150
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,420
NIC: Yeah, they're bloody addicted.

151
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,700
That one melted a laptop
downloading porno.

152
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,529
- (SCOFFS)
- Jaweed, yes,

153
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,820
he likes to watch men with donkeys.

154
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,445
- Hi.
- Hi.

155
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,369
It's unfortunate.

156
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,620
Kim, this is Tall Brian.

157
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,860
Brian Hooper. Tall Brian.

158
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:27,980
- Hi.
- I'm your shooter.

159
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,971
So, is there another Brian around here
somewhere that you're taller than?

160
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,604
Short Brian. Works for Reuters.

161
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,167
Couldn't one of you just be "Brian"?

162
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,260
Fair enough. Didn't think of that.

163
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,930
Also Short Brian's dead.

164
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,801
- Oh, fuck. Really?
- TALL BRIAN: Yes.

165
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,564
Anyway, welcome to the Fun House.

166
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,970
(WOMAN MOANING)

167
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,530
Home sweet home.

168
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,210
FAHIM: This is your room.

169
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,130
Is there a shower?

170
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,161
(DISTANT GUNFIRE)

171
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:38,090
ANCHORMAN: (ON TV) A nation accustomed to
war once again seeks a return to normality.

172
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:42,401
And nothing symbolizes that
effort more than this place,

173
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,780
the Kabul Zoo.

174
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,660
- No, he didn't. The zoo?
- (MAN SCOFFING)

175
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,060
Go back to Wapping.

176
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,491
You fucking tourist!

177
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,500
Uh, shit. Sorry.
I'm trying to find the shower?

178
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,931
You're the new girl.

179
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,180
Oh, my God. Uh... Kim Baker.

180
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,044
Just got here from New York.

181
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,780
I'm Tanya. Oh, my God,

182
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,220
it's so nice to have another
woman in the house!

183
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,580
I love that lippy color. What is that?

184
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:07,940
No, they're just really chapped.

185
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,100
Oh, you poor thing.
Can I get you anything?

186
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,180
I'm sorry, I'm freaking out
because I saw your

187
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,602
special about your embed in
Korengal, and it was amazing.

188
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,940
Thank you. That's so sweet.

189
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,441
- Where's the shower?
- Yes. This way.

190
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,088
Can I ask a favor, Kim?

191
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,460
- And absolutely feel free to say no.
- Yeah, sure.

192
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,740
I hate to even bring it up.

193
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,207
- I feel so rude even asking this.
- No, it's fine.

194
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,846
Can I fuck your security guys?

195
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,963
What? Oh.

196
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,540
By all means, yeah.

197
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,620
Yeah? I mean, I wouldn't ask,
it's just that for some reason,

198
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,860
the VBC use an American contractor

199
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,928
and, I mean, no offense,
but they're all, like,

200
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,849
goatees and "fat-strong."

201
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,260
You know? But the Aussies
and Kiwis are so hot.

202
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,300
Right. I get it. Be my guest.

203
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,060
You sure?
Don't just say that to be polite.

204
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,380
No, I wouldn't. I'm not.

205
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,700
Even Nic? You don't want Nic for yourself?

206
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,300
(LAUGHS) Nic?

207
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,971
No. I don't. No.

208
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,300
That's... No, that would never happen.
So you're good.

209
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:10,140
Hey! No, Kim, don't say that.
You could have Nic.

210
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,340
In Afghanistan,
you're a serious piece of ass.

211
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,980
Thank you. That's nice.

212
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:19,604
Because you're what, I mean, you're like,
a seven, a six or seven in New York?

213
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,340
Here, you're a nine.

214
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,460
Borderline ten.

215
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,164
It's called "Kabul Cute."

216
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,843
What are you here, like a 15? (CHUCKLES)

217
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,647
Yeah.

218
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,641
Huh.

219
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,940
The thing is, I have a very
serious boyfriend at home,

220
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,580
so, you're good.

221
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:40,980
All right, well, come talk
to me in two months

222
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,765
when your pussy's eating your leg.
Shower's that way.

223
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:45,721
(KIM SIGHING)

224
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,804
(DOGS WHINING)

225
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:54,940
CHRIS: How you doing?

226
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,566
It's bananas here. It's, um...

227
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,340
My nose is running.
There's shit in the air,

228
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,780
literally. (SNIFFLES)

229
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,041
And

230
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,688
I don't think I can do this.

231
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,245
CHRIS: Do what?

232
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:09,721
Kim?

233
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,540
I don't think I can do this.

234
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,642
Can you see... I don't... Hello?

235
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,847
Shit.

236
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,201
(SIGHS)

237
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,900
I'm sorry, Colonel,
I can't accept gifts as a journalist.

238
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,180
Okay.

239
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,900
So lodging, transport,

240
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,500
chow and protection,
that's all you can accept?

241
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,260
KIM: I'll do my best to stay objective.

242
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,409
I don't care if you can do your job.
I care if my men can.

243
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,729
Are you familiar with the term
"four-ten-four", Miss Baker?

244
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,205
I am not, Colonel.

245
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,100
It refers to women who are fours back home

246
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,060
become tens when they ship out

247
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,050
and when they're back stateside,
they become fours again.

248
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:00,606
Are you saying I'm a four?

249
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:04,442
I'm saying you carry
an orange fucking backpack.

250
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,340
I've seen people with actual experience
make bad decisions here.

251
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,060
So while you're outside
the wire with my men,

252
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,527
you will in no way
distract them, understood?

253
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,940
Are you asking me not
to sleep with your soldiers?

254
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,247
No, not "soldiers." Marines.

255
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:24,780
You're not here to sleep with or perform
jobs of any type on my Marines.

256
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,325
Clear copy, Miss Baker?

257
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,890
- Copy that.
- Good.

258
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:32,020
We'll get you out to a FOB
as soon as we find a ride for you.

259
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,245
In the meantime, Captain Stern here
will see to it that you get a wet hootch.

260
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,241
A what?

261
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,245
It's a tent with a shower.

262
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,620
Unless you'd prefer a dry hootch.

263
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,210
I would not, sir.

264
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,002
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

265
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,728
(INDISTINCT YELLING)

266
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,610
- (PAPER FLUTTERING)
- KIM: Sorry.

267
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,966
Could you just... (CLEARS THROAT)
State your name and rank?

268
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,340
Gunnery Sergeant Clinton J. Hurd.

269
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,011
All right. Uh... Dang it!

270
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,444
So, do you believe the Afghani people
are happy about our presence here?

271
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,420
No, Afghans are the people.

272
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,763
(CHUCKLING) Afghanis is the currency.

273
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,620
KIM: That's right. I knew that. Thank you.

274
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,780
What do you believe
your mission to be here?

275
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,180
Ma'am, you got a sticker on your pants.

276
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,362
It's bugging the shit out of me. Ma'am...

277
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,420
- (RIPPING STICKER)
- Fahim.

278
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,340
What inspired you to enlist originally?

279
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:19,180
I'm a big fan of the movie Predator
with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

280
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,691
We're the same height.

281
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,780
Do you think the war in Iraq
has affected your resources here?

282
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,645
I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not authorized
to answer that question.

283
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,500
I'd say we're both
on the wrong side of Persia, ma'am.

284
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,940
Iraq is where you get some right now.

285
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,220
Here just has shit all.

286
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,926
Are you guys getting
outside the wire much?

287
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,060
Yes, ma'am. Most days. Uh...

288
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,740
You know, we help out with
community projects and all.

289
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,047
And wells. Uh...

290
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,500
And sometimes at night
we shoot the big gun,

291
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,648
- but, you know, it's quiet here.
- Jesus!

292
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,140
We don't wear IBAs on the FOB.

293
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,140
I don't even chamber a round
in my weapon anymore, because,

294
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,900
you know, I figure accidental discharge
is scarier than the Taliban.

295
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,500
With Iraq, do you feel like people have
forgotten about Afghanistan?

296
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,250
Oh, well...

297
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,170
Yes, ma'am. I'd say that
surely is the word for it.

298
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,820
This here's a forgotten war.

299
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,526
It's capital F, capital W.

300
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,365
What's your, uh... Your name and rank?

301
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,847
I'm Lance Corporal Coughlin,
India Company 3-5.

302
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,521
Thank you.

303
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,402
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

304
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,362
Kim. Your hair.

305
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,325
- Thanks, Fahim.
- Mmm-hmm.

306
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,450
You really are a fixer.

307
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,140
(SIGHS)

308
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,730
Moon's out.

309
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,241
Hmm.

310
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,041
It's beautiful.

311
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,090
(INDISTINCT YELLING IN DISTANCE)

312
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:58,881
(TALL BRIAN SPEAKING DARI)

313
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,380
Suck my dick!

314
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,700
(TALL BRIAN BLOWING)

315
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:02,881
What does that mean?

316
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,322
- It means, "Oh, what a terrible event!"
- Uh-huh.

317
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,460
CAPT. STERN: Miss Baker.

318
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,380
Colonel Hollanek
is coming to Norton tomorrow

319
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,980
to check on some of our PRT work.

320
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,128
And you and your crew
are clear to tag along.

321
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,925
- Great, thanks.
- Rolls out at zero-six.

322
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,962
- That's 6:00 a.m.
- I know that, yeah.

323
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,810
- MARINE: Fire!
- (EXPLODING)

324
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,361
SGT. HURD: Come on, let's go!
Get this shit together! We gotta move!

325
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,180
Fucking hands out of your pockets!

326
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,805
You think you're in the fucking Army?

327
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,724
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

328
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,260
What is this?

329
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,860
Uh, that's my supplies. Camera stuff.

330
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,740
You fucking kidding me?

331
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,780
This is an orange ruck.
No, ma'am. Not on my vehicle.

332
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,300
The girl at the North Face store
said it was, like, military grade.

333
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,980
Well, where are you gonna hide it?
Inside a fucking sunset?

334
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,380
I mean, even the Dutch Army
don't wear orange.

335
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,845
Fix it.

336
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,643
How do I fix it?

337
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,921
SGT. HURD: Rapono!

338
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,730
(MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

339
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,162
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

340
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,420
Got to stay hydrated, ma'am.

341
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,761
Coughlin. I didn't recognize you.

342
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,380
That's 'cause I'm in warrior mode.

343
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,209
It makes me taller. (LAUGHS)

344
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,882
Enjoy the ride, ma'am.

345
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,920
(BRAYING)

346
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,409
(CHILDREN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

347
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,780
HOLLANEK: I'm dying to
know who blew up my well.

348
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,211
Working on it, Colonel.

349
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,323
That was a nice fucking well, Corporal.

350
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,686
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)

351
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,161
What'd he say?

352
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,089
(CONVERSING IN DARI)

353
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,140
(REPEATS DARI WORDS) What's that mean?

354
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,129
He wants to know if you are the Russians.

355
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,165
- The Russians?
- Mmm.

356
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,820
- No!
- (SPEAKS DARI)

357
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,340
No, sir. That was 20 years ago.

358
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,805
And we're here to help.

359
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,844
And I'm black.

360
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,100
(SPEAKING DARI)

361
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,771
The Russians are blacks now.

362
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,611
(INDISTINCT YELLING)

363
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,686
If we fix the well, you can't blow it up.

364
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,020
Kim, I was talking
to some of the younger men.

365
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,380
They say the Taliban came at night.

366
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,801
I don't care. No. I drank
too much water and I have to pee.

367
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,764
Stop. Stop. I am engaged to be married.

368
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,020
Okay, Fahim,
I know you like your women to be, like,

369
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,420
beautiful, mysterious IKEA bags, okay?

370
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,603
But we urinate, Doctor.
Out of our vaginas.

371
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,580
You think you urinate out the...

372
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,060
No. I know it's a separate thing!

373
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,340
God! Just please help me.

374
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,300
FAHIM: There is nowhere for you to go.

375
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,100
I cannot ask these men about this.

376
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,740
And I'm not allowed to talk to the women.

377
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,003
Fine. Forget it. I'll hold it.
Women are tough, right?

378
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:12,971
(WATER GURGLING)

379
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,881
(YELPS)

380
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:18,721
(GROANS)

381
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,406
Are you okay, ma'am?

382
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,881
(URINATING)

383
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,884
COUGHLIN:
Gosh, damn it, man. This is a new one.

384
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,769
I was cursing your name at 0-stupid-30,
but I'm glad I came out today.

385
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,780
Would you not have gone
on patrol today if I weren't here?

386
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,900
No, I'd be back in Norton filling HESCOs.

387
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,180
- (INDISTINCT MESSAGE ON RADIO)
- Copy that.

388
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,300
We're still 5 mikes.
It must be one hairy dump.

389
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,687
No, I'm just getting my pants on.
Damn it, Sergeant Hurd.

390
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,020
Whatever.

391
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,180
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

392
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,327
SGT. HURD: Marine!

393
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,124
Make a hole, Baker.

394
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,645
Move out!

395
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,700
- (INDISTINCT RADIO MESSAGE)
- Why are we stopping?

396
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,420
The lead vehicle bottomed out.

397
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,490
SGT. HURD: Okay! Heads on a swivel!

398
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,050
Didn't we come this way?

399
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,460
We most surely did.

400
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,130
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO)

401
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,340
(GLASS SHATTERS)

402
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,568
- SGT. HURD: Contact left!
- Stay in the vehicle!

403
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,205
(GUNFIRE)

404
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,407
Shit! Hot! Hot bullet things!

405
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,700
(MEN YELLING)

406
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,644
Kim, don't get out of the car! Kim!

407
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,850
- (INDISTINCT YELLING)
- (GUNFIRE)

408
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,980
Whoa! (STUTTERS)

409
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,500
Get down behind the engine block!

410
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,409
Stay there! Stay there!

411
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,140
- (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
- FAHIM: Kim.

412
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,571
Get back in the car!

413
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,322
No, please, Kim!

414
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,401
(MEN WHOOPING AND CHEERING)

415
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,460
Ma'am, I asked you to stay put!

416
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,050
Those assholes tried to shoot us!

417
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,580
(LAUGHS)

418
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,780
HOLLANEK: Jesus!

419
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,900
You have got to be shitting me!

420
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,180
You just shot a Javelin at a fucking car!

421
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,660
That's an $80,000 piece of ordnance!

422
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,820
Can any of you geniuses tell me
the Kelley Blue Book value

423
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,764
of a 1989 Toyota pickup?

424
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,209
Oorah, Baker. Get some.

425
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,700
I hope you got all that on film, ma'am.

426
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,900
'Cause that right there,
that's what we do best.

427
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,420
Hearts and minds.

428
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,330
That's the two best places
to shoot somebody.

429
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,250
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (SIGHS)

430
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:32,527
What?

431
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,260
I told you to stay in the car.

432
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,328
Okay, I'll get back in the car.

433
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:38,686
The Marines don't have
much to say about Iraq.

434
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,500
Their mantra is that
they are focused on doing the job here.

435
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,580
And even though, as we saw firsthand,

436
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,900
attacks against coalition forces are up,

437
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,180
Corporal Coughlin told me earlier
that he is still not planning

438
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,580
to lock and load his weapon
when he is out on patrol.

439
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,126
Our own Kim Baker reporting for us live.

440
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,242
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

441
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,246
Welcome!

442
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:04,926
(ALL CHEERING)

443
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,365
Wow, good job, Kim! Ruthless!

444
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,940
Bitch, we are going out tonight! Whoo!

445
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,690
(ALL CHEERING)

446
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,043
(INAUDIBLE)

447
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,200
(BOY CRYING)

448
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,249
It's okay. It's okay. Here.

449
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,167
- It's okay. It's all right.
- (MUMBLES IN DARI)

450
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,370
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

451
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,246
Why don't I know who you are?

452
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,820
You're what, like, 42?

453
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:05,900
Sold.

454
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,331
Why have I never heard of you?

455
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,780
Yeah, I haven't done
a lot of overseas reporting.

456
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,089
I've done mostly domestic reportage.

457
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:16,460
"Reportage"?

458
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,404
(STAMMERS) Domestic reportage.

459
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,780
Look, everyone in the Kabubble
is full of shit. It's okay.

460
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,060
Half the accents are fake.

461
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:28,165
The whole "I'm ex-Special Forces"
wankers are flat out lying.

462
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,130
- "Reportage"?
- (LAUGHS)

463
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,020
Oh, Christ, what is this?

464
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:36,820
I really shouldn't have
my back to the door.

465
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:41,125
It's bad tradecraft, but it's worth it
to talk to you two ladies.

466
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,125
- Fuck off.
- Ugh.

467
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:45,811
(CHUCKLES) You got it.

468
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,340
- (SCOFFS)
- MAN: Champagne?

469
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,805
Thank you.

470
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,140
Finish this,

471
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,500
and then we'll go meet some friends
in Wazir Akbar Khan.

472
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,300
And I am warning you now,
do not sleep with Iain.

473
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,368
- Who is Iain?
- He's a proper asshole.

474
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,448
- Shall we?
- Yeah.

475
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,127
Is that a cab?

476
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:06,641
(TRAFFIC BUSTLING)

477
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:07,900
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

478
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,580
KIM: Is your full name Shakira?

479
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,060
'Cause I thought it was
a Colombian nickname.

480
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,260
Why would you think that?

481
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:14,420
- KIM: Because of the singer.
- (LAUGHS)

482
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:19,020
No, I know. I'm kidding.
No, it's Arabic for "thankful."

483
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:20,770
Kim is American for "white lady."

484
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,322
(LAUGHS) Actually, "Kim"
means "who" in Turkish.

485
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,220
"Who's that white lady?"

486
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,740
- It's Kim.
- (LAUGHS)

487
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,320
That's so you can remember my name.

488
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,126
So... This is Iain. Iain, Kim.

489
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,500
(IAIN CLEARS THROAT)

490
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,002
Kim. Kim. Kim. Kim, nice work.

491
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:41,180
You sit next to the only two women
in a country the size of Texas

492
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,487
that remind a man
that you're really only okay looking.

493
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,620
Well, she said you were an asshole,
but that's really above and beyond.

494
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,740
- Who said that?
- Tanya.

495
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,260
IAIN: No. No. No. I don't think so.

496
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,100
A lot of women find me very charming, Kim.

497
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,860
- No, not biological women.
- Oh, really?

498
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,260
Women who think that an accent

499
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,380
is the same thing

500
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,940
- as a personality, maybe.
- Oh!

501
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,420
(SPEAKING GAELIC) Nae, haud yer wheesht.

502
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,602
Go bile yer heid, ya wee bampot.

503
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,980
I bet you're wetter than a submarine
with screen doors now.

504
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,081
Oh! (SNICKERS)

505
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,100
I got that from a pickup book.

506
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,620
- Jesus.
- Oh, yeah.

507
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:13,721
Mmm.

508
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:15,460
So what's your deal?

509
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,085
You got chucked over by some guy

510
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,780
so you think, "Forget him.

511
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,860
"I'm gonna go discover
the wonders of the East,

512
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,260
"and I'm gonna fuck a Scottish guy
and write a book."

513
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:24,964
I'm Scottish, by the way.

514
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:28,601
(GROWLS)

515
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,380
- (LAUGHING)
- IAIN: Cheers.

516
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,925
WOMEN: Cheers.

517
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,121
(CLEARS THROAT)

518
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,924
- Cheers.
- TANYA: Salud.

519
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,883
- Cheers.
- SHAKIRA: To Kim!

520
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,740
Is this your first night out?

521
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,365
Yes.

522
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,170
It is, actually.

523
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,500
That little bastard!

524
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:52,580
Oh, no, Kim.

525
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,251
You didn't give Egg Boy
money, did you? (CHUCKLES)

526
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,340
Hey! Egg Boy! Hey!
You're a little shitbird!

527
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:00,500
(YELLS IN DARI)

528
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,284
I hope you get salmonella!

529
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,090
- (YELLS IN DARI)
- Oh!

530
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,180
I gave him, like, $100!

531
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:07,725
- $100?
- What?

532
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,726
I'd give you my eggs for $100.

533
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,060
KIM: Where are we going?

534
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,606
TANYA: A whorehouse.
You're going to love it.

535
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,290
(GUNSHOTS)

536
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,281
IAIN: You see that?

537
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,282
SHAKIRA: It's a brothel
and a Chinese restaurant.

538
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,409
(SINGING POP SONG)

539
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,121
(LAUGHS)

540
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:37,767
Do you remember this video?

541
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,325
Everybody was drawings.

542
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,801
Me? Oh, no, thank you.

543
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,820
Look, a month ago,
I was writing a story about corn syrup.

544
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,700
Okay? I was not happy.

545
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,180
I didn't think there was anything else
out there for me.

546
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:56,540
Just death.

547
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:57,820
- Then this came along and...
- (SPEAKING MANDARIN)

548
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,580
I don't care

549
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,366
Wenge, do you guys have
regular access to healthcare?

550
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,324
(CONTINUES SINGING)

551
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,763
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

552
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:10,886
(CHEERING)

553
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:15,420
IAIN: He called me a Fenian bastard.

554
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,820
I fuckin' showed him what for,
kicked his teeth in, the cunt.

555
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,163
- (TANYA LAUGHS)
- Oi, Tanya? What's her story?

556
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:26,580
She has a boyfriend.
And she's unconscious, okay?

557
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,140
Not that either of those things
have ever stopped you before.

558
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,100
That's not true. That's not true.

559
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,220
- Firstly, I'm afraid of boyfriends.
- Mmm-hmm.

560
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,340
Secondly, I'm a gentleman.

561
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:36,460
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)

562
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:40,580
What? According to no less
an authority than Grace Mugabe.

563
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,180
I held a door open for her once.

564
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,460
(WHISPERING) Let me just
have a little peekaboo.

565
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:45,860
- (LAUGHS)
- Get out!

566
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,769
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) Actually, not bad.

567
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,966
- I think I missed one.
- TANYA: Stop! (LAUGHS)

568
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,260
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Il y a du monde au balcon. Pas mal.

569
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,540
NIC: Kim?

570
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,020
You all right there, mate?

571
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:58,620
IAIN: Oh, wouldn't you like to know?

572
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,380
Hey. I'm just talking about her safety.

573
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,041
Nic here does security for Kim, Iain.

574
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:05,761
(SIGHS)

575
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,085
Right, well!

576
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,288
- (TANYA LAUGHS)
- I'm off. Excuse me.

577
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,620
- Excused.
- Good night.

578
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,722
- Bye, darling!
- IAIN: Good night.

579
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,488
The best, Nic!

580
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,571
(LAUGHING)

581
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:35,681
(SMACKS LIPS)

582
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,004
Oh, that's Oprah.

583
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,526
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

584
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:46,921
(GASPS)

585
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,260
(GROGGILY) Hello.

586
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,840
It's Fahim. Are you ready to go?

587
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,842
Go where, dude? It's Saturday.

588
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,260
Friday is the only day off
in the Islamic week.

589
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,771
We have interviews.

590
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,660
No! That was not made clear. That's... No.

591
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,780
That's bullshit, Fahim. No.

592
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,611
Kim, today we are meeting
Ali Massoud Sadiq.

593
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,451
I sent research.
He's likely to be Attorney General.

594
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:12,801
(MOANING)

595
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:16,361
(COUGHS)

596
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,860
- Please hold.
- Please come outside.

597
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,140
This is against what I believe
as an American.

598
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,242
I am sorry, but we have to go.

599
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,100
Oh, my shoes. Shit.

600
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,726
You wish to interview me, Mr. Ahmadzai?

601
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,164
I do, Mr. Sadiq. Yes, on camera.

602
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,300
Mr. Ahmadzai,

603
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,380
I am a person of,

604
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,700
of no consequence.

605
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,060
Well, you soon might be

606
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,580
the second most powerful
person in Afghanistan.

607
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:44,860
Mr. Ahmadzai,

608
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,220
I run a small department
inside the Interior Ministry.

609
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,420
What possible interest
could I be to the Americans?

610
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:55,047
Because your Ministry
for the Prevention of Vice

611
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,980
and the Encouragement of Virtue

612
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:01,210
sounds a lot like the Taliban's
old Ministry of Vice and Virtue.

613
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,211
Don't you think?

614
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,923
- Kim Baker.
- KIM: Mmm-hmm.

615
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,220
When the Taliban was in power,

616
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,940
they enforced their version of sharia.

617
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,051
One of their edicts was a rule that all
men must shave the hair of their pubis.

618
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,900
They would walk the streets
carrying a small wooden rod,

619
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,660
a dowel,

620
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:38,020
which they would roll
along the front of a man's trousers.

621
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:42,364
If a man's pubic hair was long enough
to curl around the dowel,

622
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,723
they would beat him.

623
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:47,961
Now, I ask you,

624
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,380
do I look like a man to walk the streets

625
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,131
carrying a hair-of-the-pubis dowel?

626
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:56,890
No, sir, you do not.

627
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,245
I returned to this country to save it.

628
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,580
I am a friend of America.

629
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:08,402
Which is why you should let me interview
you, so people can understand that.

630
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:09,841
(CHUCKLES)

631
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,645
I like you, Kim.

632
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,740
I like your mouthiness.

633
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,524
- That is a word, yes?
- (FAHIM REPLIES IN DARI)

634
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,526
It reminds me of my time living in London.

635
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:23,122
You make me feel
like a young man again. (CHUCKLES)

636
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,962
But I do not know you.

637
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:31,210
How can we get to know each other, Kim?

638
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:34,881
Hmm?

639
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,922
Yes, excellent, Kim!

640
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,130
(BOTH LAUGHING)

641
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,726
Put a turban on her,
she'd make a very handsome boy.

642
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,450
(YELLING)

643
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,080
(CHEERFUL CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)

644
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,060
KIM: How are you? You okay there?

645
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,020
(GUNFIRE)

646
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:27,220
CHRIS: What the hell was that?

647
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,420
It's probably
just a wedding somewhere nearby.

648
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,380
They like to shoot off
guns at weddings here.

649
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,050
You get it, you're from Florida.

650
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:34,580
CHRIS: Funny.

651
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,060
When was the last time I saw you?

652
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:37,540
Since June?

653
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,166
I'm sorry that I didn't
get back last month.

654
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,260
(KIM SIGHS)

655
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,180
I can be in New York by Thursday.

656
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,260
I miss you and I want to see you. And I...

657
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:47,740
I have...

658
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,808
- MAN: Oh, not again.
- (KIM SIGHS)

659
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,900
NIC: I hate this fucking airport.

660
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,500
KIM: Can I bring you guys
anything from New York?

661
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:57,580
(PHONE RINGING)

662
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,001
- NIC: Just bring us back a six pack, eh?
- (BOTH LAUGH)

663
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:02,563
- This is Kim.
- SADIQ: Kim Baker?

664
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,683
It is Sadiq.

665
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,002
Mr. Sadiq, hi.

666
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,460
How about an interview with Pacha Khan?

667
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,300
Pacha Khan, the warlord?

668
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,084
Pacha Khan is a businessman.

669
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:16,980
Would you like that?

670
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,460
Uh, yeah. Yeah. But I'm on my way
to New York to see my boyfriend.

671
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,860
You will be the first Western journalist

672
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,201
to interview him since the Soviet War.

673
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,409
Shall we say tomorrow?

674
00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:37,164
Okay, yes, of course. Thank you.

675
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,011
- FAHIM: What?
- Back in the car.

676
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:45,081
FAHIM: Wait here.

677
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:51,210
(CONVERSING IN DARI)

678
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:53,525
It's okay, come.

679
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:19,481
(CONVERSING IN PASHTO)

680
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,090
She is a Muslim?

681
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:29,721
Yes

682
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,569
Have her pray for me.

683
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:44,445
She is Turkish.

684
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,851
You wouldn't understand her anyway.

685
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:53,121
Hmm.

686
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,300
- Okay. Yes.
- Yeah?

687
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,447
TALL BRIAN: Okay.

688
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,040
Pacha Khan, thank you
for your kind hospitality.

689
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:07,140
(SPEAKING PASHTO)

690
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:10,580
Put a turban on her and she
would make a handsome boy!

691
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:11,681
(LAUGHING)

692
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:16,720
(FAHIM LAUGHING WEAKLY)

693
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,126
What?

694
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,886
No.

695
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,180
Oh, Kim. Cheers.

696
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:31,580
Hi.

697
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:32,700
What a rush, yeah?

698
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,740
Pacha Khan, yeah.
It's like, adrenaline. Everyone was...

699
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,180
Good job.

700
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:39,580
Yeah, it went well.

701
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,763
But, you know, I was... I was in the...

702
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,724
The New Zealand SAS back home.

703
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,326
And today felt like
jumping out of an airplane.

704
00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:50,769
- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- Or like, you know, like having sex.

705
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:56,561
IAIN: Kim!

706
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,731
Tanya's got scotch.
It won't last long, so...

707
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,769
Nic, you're welcome, too, you big cunt!

708
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:08,123
That's a term of affection, by the way.

709
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:13,884
TANYA: You were supposed to be
in New York, sneaky girl.

710
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,020
Yeah, Chris is not super pleased.

711
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,460
Chris can suck a fat one.

712
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,561
(SCOFFS)

713
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,380
I'm trying to see if they put my story up,

714
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,847
but this Internet connection is the worst!

715
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,980
- (BRAYING)
- Oh, Goddamn it, Jaweed!

716
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,241
Oh, Christ!

717
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,140
- Really?
- TANYA: Wow.

718
00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,460
Although, donkeys aside,

719
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:33,800
- he's a good fixer.
- Mmm.

720
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,448
Oh, no, thanks. Morning shows.

721
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,020
You have something
they want for the mornings?

722
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:42,420
(KIM MURMURS)

723
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,410
Maybe. I don't know. Maybe.

724
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:46,647
Hmm.

725
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,410
That's what I'm trying to see.

726
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,980
You know, I heard
that he has contacts in the Tribals.

727
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,890
Like real Taliban contacts.

728
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,051
- Jaweed?
- TANYA: Jaweed.

729
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,886
KIM: No fucking way.
TANYA: Mmm, apparently.

730
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,924
Would you do that?
Would you go down there?

731
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,287
Yeah, sure, if it was the right call.

732
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,763
Yeah, but how do you know
if it's the right call?

733
00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:18,340
Fuck, man, I don't know. (CHUCKLES)

734
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,500
That is why we drink, do drugs

735
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,080
and shag strangers
in restaurant bathrooms.

736
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,691
(KIM GROANING)

737
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:42,804
(LINE TRILLING)

738
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,460
Kim, are you okay? What's going on?

739
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,580
Oh, shoot. Oh, sorry, what time is it?

740
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,260
I don't know. I'm in Seattle.

741
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,380
God, I thought you got shot
at a wedding or something.

742
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,527
- Jesus, Kim!
- No.

743
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,540
Sorry. So, just real quick...

744
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,860
I want you to come visit me.

745
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:58,200
In Afghanistan? Really?

746
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,340
I mean, I've got tons of miles.
I could fly you first class.

747
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,580
I have to look at a calendar.
I don't think I can do it this month.

748
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,020
I'm here until, like, at least the 15th.
But when I get back maybe...

749
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,122
- Who is in your bed, Chris?
- What?

750
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,740
(STAMMERING) No, that's my bag.

751
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,002
Look in the mirror, dipshit.

752
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,740
My God. You motherfucker.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable!

753
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,140
You calm the fuck down!

754
00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:19,980
Listen, you haven't been home in months.

755
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:21,220
You forgot my fucking birthday!

756
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:22,900
Oh, right, it's my fault.
Great, Chris. You're a genius.

757
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,180
And I kept your stupid
fucking plants alive,

758
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,851
but you let this relationship
wither and die!

759
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,900
Ugh! Did you have that prepared?

760
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:32,980
- What?
- Pussy!

761
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,380
You know what? Have fun in Seattle.

762
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:35,580
You should go to the Rock 'n' Roll Museum.

763
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,011
It sucks. You'll fit right in.

764
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:39,361
(SIGHS)

765
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,204
(MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)

766
00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:59,449
Are you shitting me?

767
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:05,321
(SIGHS)

768
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,246
Fahim.

769
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,323
Let's apply for another embed.

770
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,540
Because I want to get out of Kabul.

771
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,883
I just need to get out of Kabul.

772
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,780
I need "me time", exactly. That's...

773
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,180
See? I told you that O magazine

774
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,250
would increase your
understanding of women.

775
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,488
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

776
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,526
KIM: Hey, you guys are 3-5, right?

777
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,483
Do you know a Corporal Coughlin?

778
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,580
VIDES: No, ma'am.

779
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,126
Sorry, but I've only been here
for a couple months.

780
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,980
Ma'am, if you set one foot
in front of the other,

781
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,084
there's less chance
you lose both feet if we hit an I ED.

782
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:55,765
MAN: (ON RADIO) Vides, make ready.

783
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:56,921
(COCKING GUN)

784
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,340
Man, we are definitely losing the war

785
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,602
when it comes to this particular well.

786
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:08,940
I swear to God, they blow up another well,

787
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,220
I take another pair of boots off.

788
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,448
It's like fucking musical chairs.

789
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,060
Hey, do I have to buy a dress
for your wedding?

790
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,403
No. Whatever you wear in Kabul is fine.

791
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,242
- Yeah?
- Yes.

792
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,966
The only thing I ask is that
you make sure my friend is there.

793
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,962
Aw, your friend is me.

794
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,161
(CHUCKLES)

795
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,051
- I get it.
- (CHUCKLES)

796
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:52,648
(WOMAN SPEAKS IN PASHTO)

797
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,762
- Mount up!
- Jesus, Stern!

798
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,780
General, excuse me.
Hey. General, do you have a minute?

799
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,281
- Not now, Baker.
- It's just...

800
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,566
The Taliban haven't been
destroying the well here.

801
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,220
The women of the village
are destroying it.

802
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:45,970
Or so they tell me.

803
00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:51,500
We dug that well several times
for the women

804
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,284
so they don't have to walk to the river.

805
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,100
But they want to walk to the river.

806
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,740
It's their only chance to be social

807
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,127
and gossip and, you know, hang out.

808
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:02,900
I think that they have a bunch
of old Soviet landmines,

809
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,163
and they just prop one up
and throw rocks at it.

810
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:21,607
Kim, did you ever feel like
you're manning that tollgate

811
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:24,564
and the engineer's yelling,
"I got pig iron, I got pig iron"?

812
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,220
No. I don't know what that means.
But it's very folksy.

813
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,500
Also, the women, obviously,
they don't want the men

814
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,140
to know about this, so they are hoping

815
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:34,820
that you would just refuse
to repair the well this time.

816
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:35,921
Well, they're in luck.

817
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,407
That's exactly what
I told the mullah, so...

818
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:42,605
Well done, Baker.

819
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:44,891
Hooyah, General.

820
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,500
Marines say "Oorah."

821
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:50,780
The Navy says "Hooyah."

822
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,882
- Don't mix those two up.
- Got it.

823
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,689
Have a good... Have a good ride.

824
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,488
(MAN YELLS INDISTINCTLY)

825
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,447
Kim.

826
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,401
Kim.

827
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:29,801
Sorry.

828
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:38,761
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

829
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:39,921
(MUSIC PLAYING)

830
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,260
- You look beautiful!
- You look beautiful!

831
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:46,361
Oh, my God.

832
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,403
- Oh, my God.
- SHAKIRA: Oh, no!

833
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:54,851
Kim!

834
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:57,940
What the dick?

835
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,060
Why did Fahim tell me
I could dress like this?

836
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,660
Well, he didn't want you
to have to go buy something.

837
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,540
Oh, my God. I only washed
the front of my hair.

838
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:05,687
SHAKIRA: Here. You know what?

839
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:08,180
I'm going to let you have one of these.

840
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:09,520
KIM: Thank you.

841
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,180
Now I look great.

842
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:12,460
TANYA: Now you're ready.

843
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:13,620
Now I'm ready to party.

844
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:14,740
Oh, she likes it.

845
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:16,001
(SHAKIRA LAUGHS)

846
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:17,681
- Sure.
- SHAKIRA: Oh, wow. Well...

847
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,088
(DARI SONG PLAYING)

848
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,723
It was worse than a unibrow.
It went all the way into his hair.

849
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,100
(TANYA LAUGHS)
We all have some reason for being here.

850
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,700
What's your reason?

851
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:45,820
What is yours?

852
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,220
I don't have a good one. I'm just here.

853
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,140
Come on, she just told her unibrow story.

854
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,580
I just... I don't have one.

855
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:51,761
Come on.

856
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:58,005
I was at the gym after work
one night. Stationary bike.

857
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,300
Okay? The same bike every day.

858
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,060
And I notice this

859
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,810
indentation in the carpet,
it's, like, a foot in front of my bike.

860
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,928
And I realize that it's from
where my bike used to be.

861
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,527
I have done thousands
of miles on this bike

862
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,580
and I have gone backwards.

863
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,900
I have literally gone backwards.

864
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,206
I just

865
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,900
wanted to blow everything up.
I just wanted out of my job,

866
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,780
writing news scripts for
dumb pretty people to read.

867
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:33,245
I wanted... (LAUGHS)

868
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,260
...out of having to decide whether

869
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,603
I should just marry
my mildly depressive boyfriend.

870
00:47:39,720 --> 00:47:41,085
And that's it.

871
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,646
I just... I couldn't look at that

872
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,444
fucking carpet anymore.

873
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:51,769
(INHALES DEEPLY) Oh...

874
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:56,940
Well, that is officially the most

875
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,220
American white lady story I've ever heard.

876
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,687
- TANYA: (LAUGHING) Shut up.
- SHAKIRA: It is.

877
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:03,020
You know what? Fuck that.

878
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:07,620
You are a battle-tested
foreign correspondent.

879
00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:10,980
You're a solid Kabul 9.5.

880
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,380
And you are fucking single, all right?

881
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,404
So that lady back at the gym, she's dead.

882
00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:18,730
This is your life.

883
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,887
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

884
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:24,201
(LAUGHS)

885
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,043
(CHEERFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)

886
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,660
KIM: Despite Taliban threats,
election observers

887
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,460
are reporting high voter turnout,

888
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:47,900
especially in cities.

889
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,900
A British fighter-bomber last week

890
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:51,860
reduced this compound to rubble.

891
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:55,009
...not to cooperate.
Oh, God. Christ, there's a...

892
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,260
Bahzo! There's a bahzo here!

893
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,364
The surprise visit from Secretary
of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

894
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,220
Today, Kabul's first
licensed female driver,

895
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,005
Gulbahar Yousofy, hits the road.

896
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,203
- (THUDDING)
- (MEN SHOUTING)

897
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,126
That sucks. That sucks for women.

898
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,041
Thank you.

899
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,540
Congratulations on your promotion,

900
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,220
- Mr. Attorney General.
- (CHUCKLES) Thank you.

901
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:24,860
As I said, we could have
done this over the phone.

902
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,420
I'm just looking for a statement
on sharia in Kandahar.

903
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,380
I understand that you are no longer

904
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,323
with your special friend Chris.

905
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:33,900
Who told you that?

906
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,500
Very little happens in Afghanistan

907
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,820
that Ali Massoud Sadiq
does not know about.

908
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:40,001
Very little.

909
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:41,700
May I show you something?

910
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:42,881
Of course.

911
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:50,820
You have a bed in your office.

912
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,001
Yes.

913
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:54,649
There is a bed here now.

914
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:01,610
So, no comment on sharia in Kandahar or...

915
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:07,660
No comment.

916
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,206
- We are going to ISAF later, yes?
- KIM: I don't know.

917
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,820
Pressers and "right of boom" crap.
Who cares?

918
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:14,126
We need to enterprise something. Okay?

919
00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:16,288
We need to get out of the bubble.

920
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:18,251
Oh, that hit the net.

921
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:20,444
- The what?
- It hit the net.

922
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,740
- The invisible net?
- Yes.

923
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:24,500
- My point.
- (LAUGHS) Let's go. Bullshit.

924
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,140
You know, Kim, the reason
that your village well story got traction is

925
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:29,766
because it wasn't a bang-bang,
it was about women's rights.

926
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,620
It was a brilliant piece, that.

927
00:50:31,720 --> 00:50:32,980
Oh, fucking hell. (LAUGHS)

928
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,100
(INDISTINCT)

929
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,340
We should go to Kandahar.

930
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:36,601
No, too dangerous.

931
00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:38,900
No way. It's a wee bit
fluid down there these days,

932
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,100
security-wise.

933
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,940
Yeah, it might
be a bit much for you, eh, Nic?

934
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,020
You're a bit late to the whole

935
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:44,700
"Kandahar's gone to shit" party. You know?

936
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:46,740
What about the woman thing
where the sharia law is back?

937
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:48,460
And there was a firebombing
there the other day.

938
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:49,580
Yeah, I think it's worth the risk.

939
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,380
Iain, that's easy for you to say, mate,

940
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,300
sitting there in your cozzie taking
photos of the fucking garden.

941
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,700
(LAUGHS) Look, Nicky,
I know you've been specially trained

942
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,485
to protect New Zealand from,
what, fucking dolphins?

943
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,900
But I'm not exactly
a war zone virgin, you know?

944
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,620
I was kidnapped by the AIG
when they were still called that.

945
00:51:04,720 --> 00:51:06,165
Why dolphins?

946
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:08,340
What do dolphins got to do
with New Zealand?

947
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:09,380
Nothing to do with it. I'm just...

948
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:10,620
White pointers and sharks,

949
00:51:10,720 --> 00:51:11,767
but the dolphins never hurt anyone.

950
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,260
I know they've not hurt anyone, mate.
I'm just making the point...

951
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:15,580
I'm not gonna protect my country

952
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,420
from an animal that hasn't hurt anyone.

953
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:18,726
Oh, Jesus Christ.

954
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,700
Dolphins? What a joke.

955
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,340
I'll come with you
in the car if there's room.

956
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,169
Oh, great, we're all going to Kandahar!

957
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,683
I can make some calls. We can take my car.

958
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,241
Kim, if we are going to Kandahar,

959
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,761
you will need to buy some new clothes.

960
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:37,521
KIM: I can't...

961
00:51:39,240 --> 00:51:40,526
(EXHALES SHARPLY)

962
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,684
(MUTTERING)

963
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,683
Ah! It's so pretty,
I don't even want to vote.

964
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,682
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)

965
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:19,740
I'm flipping you the bird
in here right now.

966
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:20,940
(LAUGHS)

967
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:22,340
- Is this your car, Fahim?
- FAHIM: Yes.

968
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:23,780
KIM: This is a fucking piece of shit.

969
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:25,644
FAHIM: I think it's very nice.

970
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,364
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

971
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,300
KIM: No one is staring at me. It's weird.

972
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,244
You are in the Blue Prison now.

973
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,411
KIM: Fahim, what does the graffiti say?

974
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:12,980
FAHIM: "No education for woman."

975
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:14,411
(CAMERA CLICKS)

976
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:18,764
- Brian.
- Huh?

977
00:53:36,720 --> 00:53:38,484
(MAN YELLING)

978
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:42,371
Fahim, what's going on up there?

979
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,641
The Taliban used to do this.

980
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,086
Execute the radios and televisions.

981
00:53:50,720 --> 00:53:52,688
(ALL SPEAKING DARI)

982
00:53:54,240 --> 00:53:56,083
TALL BRIAN: Oh, shit!

983
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,885
(ALL SPEAKING DARI)

984
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:01,900
TALL BRIAN: Get out of the way!

985
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,260
IAIN: Move on! Move on!

986
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,647
KIM: You guys can't go
out there, but I can.

987
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,411
(SPEAKING DARI)

988
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,962
FAHIM: Kim, come back.
NIC: Kim, wait! Come back.

989
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:16,128
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)

990
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,840
(ALL RESPONDING IN DARI)

991
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:34,646
(SPEAKING DARI)

992
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,082
(ALL CLAMORING)

993
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,406
(SPEAKING DARI)

994
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:58,364
FAHIM: Kim, now.
We must hurry. We must hurry.

995
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:01,802
(CLAMORING CONTINUES)

996
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:15,485
NIC: Get in the car!

997
00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:19,844
Get out of here!

998
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:26,320
That was a men's park, Kim! Men only!

999
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,161
Fuck!

1000
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,403
Bebakhshid, Fahim.

1001
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,140
CAPT. STERN: ...coalition capacity,

1002
00:55:42,240 --> 00:55:43,810
priorities and support.

1003
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:48,648
Let's look now at the 12 first-tier
drivers in the current COIN paradigm.

1004
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:50,260
Shit.

1005
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,180
CAPT. STERN: Tactical and institutional...

1006
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:53,500
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- ...is always in purple,

1007
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:54,931
and noting as such...

1008
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:57,100
HOLLANEK: Kim Baker.

1009
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:58,565
Sir, do you have a minute?

1010
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,500
If I'm understanding this briefing,

1011
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:02,300
I have all the fucking time in the world.

1012
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,767
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
Well, I'm covering the girls' school

1013
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,180
in Kandahar that was firebombed

1014
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:09,340
and I'm wondering if you could
give me something, on background,

1015
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:12,860
just about the security situation here

1016
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:14,803
and the state of the war in general.

1017
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:16,340
Yeah, I can give you something.

1018
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:17,860
This war is like fucking a gorilla.

1019
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:20,122
You keep going till
the gorilla wants to stop.

1020
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:23,123
I think I can paraphrase that.

1021
00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:24,605
HOLLANEK: Knock yourself out.

1022
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:27,721
(FAHIM SIGHS)

1023
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:44,380
You know, Afghanistan produces
90% of the world's narcotic opiates.

1024
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:45,925
- So they say.
- FAHIM: Mmm.

1025
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:49,900
When I worked in the hospital,

1026
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,980
these men, heroin addicts,

1027
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:55,820
would come in with a child.

1028
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:58,685
They'd say,
"Oh, my son, he broke his arm."

1029
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:02,180
And while we were tending to the child,

1030
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:04,521
the men would steal our morphine.

1031
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:09,380
And we would wonder
how the arm got broken to begin with.

1032
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,642
What are we talking about, Fahim?

1033
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:13,961
Hmm.

1034
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:18,260
The human body produces its own heroin.

1035
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,620
In fact, when the fight-or-flight instinct

1036
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,940
is activated in the hypothalamus,

1037
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:28,046
your body releases endorphins,
dopamine and norepinephrine.

1038
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:33,780
That is heroin, cocaine
and amphetamine, all at once.

1039
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:37,380
Okay, great. Are we having
the Afghan version of this conversation,

1040
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:38,606
where in New York we would have

1041
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:41,166
gotten to the point,
like, five minutes ago?

1042
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:46,568
There is a reason to believe that a person

1043
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:49,160
can get addicted to this type of high.

1044
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,620
Soldiers, athletes...

1045
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,688
War reporters. Got it.

1046
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:59,460
An addict always needs
a greater and greater dosage.

1047
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:03,420
And then people
make mistakes, people get hurt.

1048
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,420
I get it. You're a newlywed. I can

1049
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:09,091
probably get them to go up to $125 a day.

1050
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:18,530
Let us have the

1051
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:23,206
American version of this conversation.

1052
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:24,726
KIM: Okay.

1053
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:29,284
I do not want to work with you anymore.

1054
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,620
No, okay, wait. Fahim, I know I fucked up.

1055
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,166
I do not think you do.

1056
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,442
- Hear me out.
- Kim, no.

1057
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:41,860
I am now married. I want to have children.

1058
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:43,962
It will not happen again.
It's not gonna...

1059
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:49,086
"I ride after a deer
and find myself chased by a hog.

1060
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,489
"I plot to get what I want

1061
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,300
"and I end up in prison.

1062
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,927
"I dig pits to trap others and I fall in.

1063
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:01,406
"I should be suspicious of what I want."

1064
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:04,962
I don't know what that means.

1065
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:10,605
You do.

1066
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:18,761
Fahim?

1067
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:25,926
(SIGHS)

1068
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:35,247
(SIGHS)

1069
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:42,489
(RESUMES TYPING)

1070
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:55,009
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

1071
00:59:58,360 --> 00:59:59,361
(CHUCKLES)

1072
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,650
KIM: I can't breathe in here.

1073
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:05,965
Time to take a walk.

1074
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:08,164
I have to go outside.

1075
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:10,808
I have to go home.

1076
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:16,241
(MAN SPEAKING DARI)

1077
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,091
Put on your headscarf

1078
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:29,962
(PEOPLE YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

1079
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:37,100
Shit.

1080
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:38,565
It's the wrong house.

1081
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:43,245
(DISTANT GUNFIRE)

1082
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:45,205
Oh, shit.

1083
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:47,765
(BABY WAILING)

1084
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:57,964
(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

1085
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:10,500
IAIN: Kim?

1086
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,329
What the hell are you doing?

1087
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:15,726
(SIGHING)

1088
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:17,580
Here.

1089
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:21,685
Kim, sip that. Okay? You all right?

1090
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:25,740
Keep sipping that.
You're all right. It's okay.

1091
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:27,205
It's okay. Hey.

1092
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:29,300
- Hey, it's all right.
- (SIGHS)

1093
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:32,449
Oi. Now, that there was a bit of fun.

1094
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:33,846
- Are you mental?
- Okay, mate...

1095
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:35,340
I'm not your mate.
I'm gonna ask you again,

1096
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:36,460
are you fucking mental?

1097
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,820
- Come on, Iain, it's not his fault.
- What's your job again? Hmm?

1098
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:41,420
Because if I hadn't
come back to see you lot

1099
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:42,646
because I stole a bottle of sake

1100
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:43,807
from a Japanese travel writer...

1101
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:44,940
Wait, you have sake?

1102
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:46,460
...you could've killed her, "mate!"

1103
01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:48,164
- Oh, fuck off.
- (GRUNTS)

1104
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:51,966
Jesus! What the fuck? (GROANS)

1105
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:53,805
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Dude, what the fuck?

1106
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:56,020
Did you fucking sucker punch me?

1107
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:57,565
You broke my nose.

1108
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:00,242
- You fucking American?
- Are you a Yank?

1109
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,283
- I'm Canadian, you asshole.
- Ugh.

1110
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:04,340
I almost fucked a Canadian?

1111
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,330
I'd stay down if I were you, ya wee cunt.

1112
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:09,522
And that's not a term of affection.

1113
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:11,971
Fuck that.

1114
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:15,441
(BREATHES SHARPLY)

1115
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:21,491
(BOTH MOANING)

1116
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:24,928
Oh, God! Mmm.

1117
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:28,205
- (GRUNTS)
- KIM: Ow!

1118
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:29,521
- Wait.
- Oh, fuck.

1119
01:02:29,640 --> 01:02:33,281
Iain, don't carry me around.
I'm not a fucking baby.

1120
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:36,220
- IAIN: Ah!
- Goddamn it.

1121
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,004
What the fuck are you doing?

1122
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:39,241
(MOANING)

1123
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,220
- Take it off.
- IAIN: I'm fucking trying to take it off!

1124
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,500
Oh, God, I'm gonna put it
in you so fucking hard,

1125
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:48,900
- you're gonna fucking get it.
- Shh. Don't talk.

1126
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:50,100
IAIN: I want everything in your mouth.

1127
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:51,220
Iain, just shut it.

1128
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:53,926
I'll take you lying down, come on.

1129
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:56,700
Do you have one of those
weird little penises?

1130
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:58,940
IAIN: No! This is how I want to go.

1131
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:01,088
KIM: No, I don't want to see myself.

1132
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:02,690
Roll off!

1133
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:04,842
IAIN: Okay, fuck it.

1134
01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:06,641
(MOANING)

1135
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:09,500
Oh, God, I fucking...

1136
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:10,660
What are you doing?

1137
01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:13,140
I'm just putting my fucking
finger in your mouth.

1138
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:14,220
KIM: Shh. No!

1139
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:15,367
Come on, just put
everything in your mouth.

1140
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:16,607
(KIM GAGS)

1141
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:19,100
Do you want me to go?

1142
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:20,531
No.

1143
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:23,486
- (THUDDING)
- (IAIN GROANS)

1144
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:25,291
(IAIN BRUSHING TEETH)

1145
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:36,924
There's aught like a good shag.

1146
01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:39,442
Okay, let's try to be adults here.

1147
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,125
I think we were.

1148
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:44,220
Obviously this was just
a Kabubble thing, right?

1149
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:45,367
Just a

1150
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:49,323
fun mistake where one of us had an orgasm.

1151
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:52,884
I mean, we're both in a really bad place.
And then you

1152
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:55,362
punched Nic.

1153
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:57,569
I don't know. It's endorphins, right?

1154
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:00,500
Nope, that's not what this is.

1155
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:02,284
No, you don't need to be gallant.

1156
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:04,129
I'm serious.

1157
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:08,329
I fancy you, Kim Baker.

1158
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,246
I do.

1159
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:14,380
Of all the dozens of women
in this country, I chose you.

1160
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:16,260
No, you didn't, because this is not me.

1161
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:17,441
I would never do this.

1162
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:20,100
Precisely. Because you're not you anymore.

1163
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:22,140
You're in the Kabubble.
You said so yourself.

1164
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,561
- (SIGHS)
- Don't fucking hide.

1165
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:28,380
Kim, you know the frog
in the pot of water?

1166
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:31,609
You raise the temperature bit by bit,

1167
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,324
the frog doesn't notice?

1168
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:35,780
That's what this place

1169
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:37,820
and that's what this job
does to all of us.

1170
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:41,402
It changes your perception
of what's normal until...

1171
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:45,004
until here we are.

1172
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:47,860
You know the frog boils to death

1173
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:49,540
- at the end of that, right?
- Nope.

1174
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:50,846
- Yeah.
- Nope.

1175
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,046
(IAIN SIGHS)

1176
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:00,008
Is that my toothbrush?

1177
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,401
Ugh!

1178
01:05:02,680 --> 01:05:05,100
KIM: What's going on
with my Kandahar piece, Ed?

1179
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:06,660
ED: Jerry killed it.

1180
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:07,761
Wait, who killed it?

1181
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:10,340
Jerry Taub, head of the network, Kim.

1182
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:12,180
- What happened to Angela?
- She left.

1183
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:15,523
She's running a website
for women or something.

1184
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:19,340
Look, I can't sell
Afghanistan in Monday meetings.

1185
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:22,780
Your war's got chronic
same-shit-different-day-itis.

1186
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:25,180
Great. What am I even doing here, Ed?

1187
01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:28,540
I wouldn't ask that too loudly, Kim.

1188
01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:32,247
Though I'd be thrilled to have
you back at your old desk.

1189
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:39,565
That's all I got.

1190
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:46,380
Hey, I heard that Nic quit
and you fucked Iain!

1191
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:47,500
KIM: Whoa, hold on.

1192
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:49,860
Listen, the Iain thing
is not a thing, okay?

1193
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:52,060
We have the same size hands. I can't.

1194
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:54,780
It's just work has been
a little frustrating.

1195
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:55,900
Yeah. I get it.

1196
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:57,740
Because Afghanistan doesn't rate anymore.

1197
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,220
That is bullshit.

1198
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:00,900
You've got to find
your own luck here, babe,

1199
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:02,240
you know that.

1200
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:06,480
What?

1201
01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:09,140
What? What is that?

1202
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:11,620
Hey! You're hooking up
Tanya in the Tribals?

1203
01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:13,100
What the fuck, Jaweed?

1204
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,884
Her network will pay me triple.

1205
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,820
I taught you how to clear
your Internet history, okay?

1206
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:18,500
What has Vanderpoel ever done for you?

1207
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:19,965
Give me a break, man.

1208
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:22,180
Whatever. You owe me.
What else do you have?

1209
01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:23,340
You're Ghilzai, right?

1210
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:24,820
Do you have any other connections

1211
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:26,260
to members of the Ghilzai family?

1212
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:27,980
- You mean Hekmatyar?
- Maybe.

1213
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:30,340
Are you fucking crazy, Kim? Please.

1214
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:31,860
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

1215
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:33,644
Hey! Nabil! Hey.

1216
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:35,540
Are you still in touch with that ISI guy

1217
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:38,260
who says he knows who killed Abdul Haq?

1218
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:41,060
That guy? (SCOFFS) He's dead two years.

1219
01:06:41,160 --> 01:06:42,286
(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

1220
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:44,884
(INDISTINCT YELLING)

1221
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:49,444
(CHEERING)

1222
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:55,766
Hey.

1223
01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:02,921
(GRUNTS)

1224
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:06,180
- (IAIN BRUSHING TEETH)
- Oh, for fuck's sake.

1225
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:07,611
Mrs. MacKelpie.

1226
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:10,521
(LAUGHS)

1227
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:13,180
Twice?

1228
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,220
IAIN: Two and a half, actually.

1229
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:15,321
KIM: Ugh!

1230
01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:18,440
I don't remember what happened last night.

1231
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:20,860
Kabul happened, my wee froggy in the pot.

1232
01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:23,486
Did I not wear a headscarf?
Where's my phone?

1233
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:24,660
I believe I threw your mobile
in my cupboard.

1234
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:25,820
Why?

1235
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,161
Because mid-coitus you tried to call Tanya

1236
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,328
about some bloody wild goose chase
in the Tribals.

1237
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:31,700
I told you about that?

1238
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:32,860
Mmm. Well, it was hard to understand you

1239
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,611
once you asked me
to stuff your knickers in your mouth.

1240
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:38,804
I'm joking, Kim. That didn't happen.

1241
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:40,740
(SIGHS) Fuck. I am...

1242
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:42,683
I am fucking losing it.

1243
01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:44,700
I need a win.

1244
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:45,860
Christ, if you're that hard up,

1245
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:47,700
I'll share my Badakhshan thing with you.

1246
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:49,180
What Badakhshan thing?

1247
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:51,860
You know China won the contract
to mine for gold up there.

1248
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:54,420
They built roads, airport,
housing, all that.

1249
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,540
Well, guess whose responsibility it is

1250
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:58,540
to protect the investment of Red China

1251
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:00,529
in this restive nation?

1252
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:04,681
American troops, Chinese gold.
Oh, Iain, that's really good.

1253
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:05,940
People are gonna get mad.

1254
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,883
Just waiting for my guy
to give me the green light.

1255
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,420
You pay for the trip,
I'll share the story with you. Easy peasy.

1256
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:13,205
Really? Thank you. That's...

1257
01:08:14,160 --> 01:08:15,241
I owe you one.

1258
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:18,170
Well, how about a half of one?

1259
01:08:18,280 --> 01:08:19,540
And then we can make it an even three.

1260
01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:21,768
Yeah. Or I could buy you breakfast.

1261
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:25,041
Or a half of one
and we can make it an even three.

1262
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:28,100
I think breakfast
is of equal monetary value.

1263
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:30,100
My middle name is Eoghan.

1264
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,260
Which is Erse... Shut up.

1265
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:33,964
It's Erse for Owen.

1266
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:35,420
- "Oo-hee"?
- Mmm-hmm.

1267
01:08:35,520 --> 01:08:37,420
- Iain "Oo-hee."
- Don't bother.

1268
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:38,780
Where is Bin Laden?

1269
01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:39,900
People think he's in Pakistan, right?

1270
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:40,980
Yeah.

1271
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:42,780
You've got egg in your beard. Hang on.

1272
01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:43,940
Thank you.

1273
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:46,740
Your national animal is the unicorn.

1274
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:47,820
I think it's romantic.

1275
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:49,900
That is the national animal
of the kingdom I ruled

1276
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,060
- when I was eight.
- (CHUCKLES)

1277
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:53,162
Who's your favorite Three Stooge?

1278
01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:57,700
Um, Larry. Because he's put upon
in a way that I identify with.

1279
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,260
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- He's the Art Garfunkel, right?

1280
01:09:00,360 --> 01:09:01,700
Yeah.

1281
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:04,780
So, I thought I might
like to hang out with you for a bit.

1282
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:06,484
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

1283
01:09:07,480 --> 01:09:08,970
Do you really want to
know what I want to do?

1284
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:10,020
Yeah. Okay.

1285
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:11,451
I'd like to kiss you.

1286
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:16,081
Who knew?

1287
01:09:17,040 --> 01:09:18,724
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1288
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:21,580
IAIN: Here's my little man.

1289
01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:23,820
No, Iain, don't. It's a scam.

1290
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:26,140
Do you think so? Really?

1291
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:28,820
I know it's a scam, Kim. So what?

1292
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:30,968
He's still begging in the street.
Hey, Abrahaim.

1293
01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:33,250
There's my boy.

1294
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:45,764
I knew I'd win you over.

1295
01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:47,845
(WOMAN YELLING)

1296
01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:50,720
(SPEAKS DARI)

1297
01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:52,526
Jesus!

1298
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:02,604
TANYA: What the fuck, Jaweed?
Are they coming or not?

1299
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:04,327
Here they are.

1300
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:11,180
DRONE PILOT: (ON RADIO) There they are.

1301
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:15,126
4-6800, line six north.

1302
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:21,325
Standing by approval.

1303
01:10:21,560 --> 01:10:23,130
We are clear to engage target.

1304
01:10:23,280 --> 01:10:25,328
Roger. Clear to engage target.

1305
01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:34,770
It is him. That's my guy.

1306
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:37,300
ANDY: If we go anywhere,
Jaweed, we take our vehicle.

1307
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,500
No carpooling.

1308
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:39,761
JAWEED: All right. Okay.

1309
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:47,940
(INDISTINCT YELLING)

1310
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:49,883
Shit! Shit!

1311
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,006
ANDY: Stay calm.

1312
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:53,611
(INDISTINCT YELLING CONTINUES)

1313
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:54,761
(YELLS IN DARI)

1314
01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:58,160
(SCREAMING)

1315
01:10:59,480 --> 01:11:00,460
Splash.

1316
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:01,900
Cease laser. Safe laser.

1317
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:03,660
DRONE SENSOR: Laser off. Laser safe.

1318
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,330
(ANDY SCREAMING)

1319
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:09,404
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)

1320
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,646
(SIREN WAILING)

1321
01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:25,251
(MONITORS BEEPING)

1322
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:27,500
(DOOR OPENING)

1323
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:29,967
I'm looking for someone. Excuse me.

1324
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:39,180
- Oh, my God. Tanya.
- Hi.

1325
01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:40,691
- Jesus.
- Oy.

1326
01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:44,169
Jaweed's dead.

1327
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:45,660
Andy's in surgery.

1328
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,091
I know. Iain talked to Colin.

1329
01:11:47,240 --> 01:11:48,580
Jesus!

1330
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:50,045
I know. It's fucked.

1331
01:11:52,480 --> 01:11:54,403
You know, Colin was rolling.

1332
01:11:55,800 --> 01:11:58,140
What, like, rolling-rolling?
You have tape?

1333
01:11:58,240 --> 01:12:00,380
He got the whole fucking thing.

1334
01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:03,324
I'm going to go live with it
as soon as they let me out of here.

1335
01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:04,681
(SIGHS)

1336
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:07,161
Can you fucking believe it?

1337
01:12:07,480 --> 01:12:09,005
- (GASPS)
- IAIN: Hey.

1338
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:10,321
TANYA: Hi.

1339
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:11,807
Aye.

1340
01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:14,285
- How are you?
- IAIN: You doing all right?

1341
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:15,971
- (INDISTINCT YELLING)
- (EXPLODING)

1342
01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:17,740
TALL BRIAN: Holy shit!

1343
01:12:17,840 --> 01:12:19,922
And as we watch it again there, Susanna,

1344
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:23,601
you can actually see the Hellfire
missile right before it detonates.

1345
01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:25,603
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- (WOMAN MOANING)

1346
01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:29,660
What is going on with Badakhshan?

1347
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:31,980
Ah, snow's killing us.

1348
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:33,260
So unless your network wants

1349
01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:34,900
to stump up the money for the helicopter,

1350
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:37,380
we'll have to wait
till they clear the passes.

1351
01:12:37,480 --> 01:12:39,020
Kim, we have a bit of a situation outside.

1352
01:12:39,120 --> 01:12:40,121
Oh.

1353
01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:41,740
What?

1354
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:43,569
TERRY: I just need you to see something.

1355
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:45,100
Sorry to interrupt.

1356
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:46,340
KIM: Did he say what he wanted?

1357
01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:47,601
TERRY: I don't know.

1358
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:50,881
(INAUDIBLE)

1359
01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:53,371
Fuck.

1360
01:12:53,480 --> 01:12:55,926
(BOTH ARGUING IN DARI)

1361
01:12:57,920 --> 01:13:00,020
Qadar. Qadar, it's okay. You can go in.

1362
01:13:00,120 --> 01:13:01,485
He just wants to talk to me.

1363
01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:03,284
- Okay. Okay.
- It's okay.

1364
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:05,860
Oh, please, do not cover
your hair on my account.

1365
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:07,300
It's such beautiful hair.

1366
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,580
It's like the hide of a fine horse.

1367
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:12,126
Sadiq, what are you doing here?

1368
01:13:13,480 --> 01:13:16,860
I was just going home
from closing a woman brothel

1369
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:19,060
when I told my driver,

1370
01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:23,500
"Mahboobullah, this is
where my best friend Kimberly lives!"

1371
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:27,002
But she has been a bad friend lately.

1372
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:29,844
She does not call.

1373
01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:33,245
She does not invite me to her party.

1374
01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:34,780
I'm sorry,

1375
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:37,060
but I didn't think the Attorney General

1376
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:39,367
of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan

1377
01:13:39,480 --> 01:13:40,700
went to parties at guesthouses.

1378
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:42,500
And why not?

1379
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:44,660
I am still a man, no?

1380
01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:46,660
I love music.

1381
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:49,161
I love to dance! (EXCLAIMS)

1382
01:13:51,840 --> 01:13:53,524
(VOCALIZING)

1383
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:00,601
But

1384
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:04,206
even though you have been a bad friend,

1385
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:06,770
I want you to be happy.

1386
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:10,569
Do you have a special friend?

1387
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:13,045
Because

1388
01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:17,725
I would love to be your special friend.

1389
01:14:19,280 --> 01:14:20,805
Would you like that, Kim?

1390
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:25,165
You're a bad friend.

1391
01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:28,100
You are a bad friend.

1392
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:32,100
In America, I would get
a book deal out of this shit!

1393
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:34,300
You can't just do this, okay?

1394
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:36,540
I haven't been on the air in months!

1395
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:40,406
My best friend here almost died,
and I am jealous of her!

1396
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:42,325
And I am just...

1397
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:45,731
Fuck this! All of it!

1398
01:14:58,760 --> 01:15:00,205
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

1399
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,325
(ALL SINGING ALONG)

1400
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:04,281
(EXPLOSION)

1401
01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:05,401
(MUSIC STOPS)

1402
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:09,820
(INDISTINCT TALKING)

1403
01:15:09,920 --> 01:15:11,445
That was a bomb.

1404
01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:12,641
(CLAMORING)

1405
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:14,500
KIM: Hello! So, wait!

1406
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:17,020
- Who is fronting the show?
- (WAILING)

1407
01:15:17,120 --> 01:15:18,940
Tucker? No, I don't know who that is.

1408
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:22,340
Okay, well, I could go live
for the overnights, but this is...

1409
01:15:22,440 --> 01:15:25,683
"Satellite time?"
No, I have a dedicated feed.

1410
01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:28,451
Since when?

1411
01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:29,601
(ON PHONE) This is Tucker Wang.

1412
01:15:29,720 --> 01:15:30,860
This is Kim Baker.

1413
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:33,440
Why am I being told that
I don't have a sat hookup?

1414
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:35,443
TUCKER: Because you're on
the hourly plan now.

1415
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:37,130
And either way, the show is full tonight.

1416
01:15:37,240 --> 01:15:38,420
No. Who is your boss?

1417
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:40,921
I want to talk to this
Jerry whatever, Taub.

1418
01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:43,620
Okay, look, Jerry has
mentioned Afghanistan to me once,

1419
01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,540
and mentioned it to know why
the only good story to come

1420
01:15:45,640 --> 01:15:47,300
out of there in a year
was on another network.

1421
01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:49,700
What, Tanya's thing?
No, I've got shit like that.

1422
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:51,500
I'm waiting for the snow to melt!

1423
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:53,020
I want to talk to Jerry.

1424
01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:54,700
TUCKER: If I could just get
you to get me a story

1425
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:56,380
that somebody would care about,

1426
01:15:56,480 --> 01:15:58,020
it would be fine. But meanwhile...

1427
01:15:58,120 --> 01:15:59,087
Okay, what if I come to New York

1428
01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:01,220
and I burst into Jerry's office?
How about that?

1429
01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:03,049
Well, that might look
like I hadn't done my job.

1430
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:05,003
Perfect. See you Wednesday.

1431
01:16:05,120 --> 01:16:06,121
Cunt.

1432
01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:11,969
- IAIN: Kim.
- (DOGS WHINING)

1433
01:16:13,080 --> 01:16:15,003
Kim, look at these dogs.

1434
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:17,860
How does this end?

1435
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:19,962
A bucket of cold water, I suppose.

1436
01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:24,660
No.

1437
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:26,250
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

1438
01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:29,685
How does this

1439
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:32,160
end? (SIGHS)

1440
01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:37,683
Uh, I don't really know, Kim.

1441
01:16:38,520 --> 01:16:42,260
We grow old together?
Get a cottage in the country?

1442
01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:44,010
Raise chickens? (CHUCKLES)

1443
01:16:44,120 --> 01:16:45,724
Eat scrambled eggs off each other?

1444
01:16:45,840 --> 01:16:48,820
Look, we're good, aren't we?
We'll always have Kabul.

1445
01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:50,580
No, we won't. We won't "always have" it

1446
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:51,886
because I have to go home.

1447
01:16:52,040 --> 01:16:53,580
No, this is home.

1448
01:16:53,680 --> 01:16:57,180
I have to go to
New York City and justify my life

1449
01:16:57,280 --> 01:16:59,260
to somebody named Jerry

1450
01:16:59,360 --> 01:17:01,727
before he takes it all away, and I

1451
01:17:03,440 --> 01:17:07,809
cannot go back to sitting
at a goddamn desk. I can't.

1452
01:17:08,120 --> 01:17:09,940
Aye. Listen...

1453
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:12,260
No one can take it away from you.

1454
01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:13,600
Not all of it.

1455
01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:15,688
Whatever happens, you'll have me.

1456
01:17:16,200 --> 01:17:19,409
That's a very nice thing to say, but...

1457
01:17:19,560 --> 01:17:20,721
But what?

1458
01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:36,380
TANYA: Following a fatal traffic accident
involving a coalition truck,

1459
01:17:36,480 --> 01:17:37,720
long simmering frustration

1460
01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:41,380
today boiled over
into violence and despair.

1461
01:17:41,480 --> 01:17:42,900
They kill us!

1462
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:44,980
They kill us and they break our hearts!

1463
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:47,660
And I also give this message
to President Hamid Karzai.

1464
01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:50,161
What the hell is happening here?

1465
01:17:55,040 --> 01:17:57,088
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA)

1466
01:18:04,080 --> 01:18:05,764
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

1467
01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:13,060
Okay, I don't care
who the hell's in there. I'm Kim Baker.

1468
01:18:13,160 --> 01:18:15,660
Go on in, Kim. Jerry's expecting you.

1469
01:18:15,760 --> 01:18:18,180
Well, that's fucking unsatisfying.

1470
01:18:18,280 --> 01:18:19,580
Can I take your bag?

1471
01:18:19,680 --> 01:18:21,011
Yes. Please.

1472
01:18:22,120 --> 01:18:23,180
Would you care for some water?

1473
01:18:23,280 --> 01:18:24,281
Yes.

1474
01:18:35,520 --> 01:18:36,500
I should've Googled you.

1475
01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:40,161
I've been... I've been using all the
wrong swear words. (CHUCKLES)

1476
01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:43,700
Well, I hope
I didn't ruin your big moment.

1477
01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:46,540
Look, Geri, I don't know what
Tucker has been telling you.

1478
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:49,041
He said that you're upset
about the air time you're getting.

1479
01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:52,420
That's just wrong,
because this is not about me.

1480
01:18:52,520 --> 01:18:54,540
My frustration is with our priorities

1481
01:18:54,640 --> 01:18:56,642
and what's best for the network.

1482
01:18:57,480 --> 01:19:00,006
Isn't deciding what's best
for the network my job?

1483
01:19:01,840 --> 01:19:03,171
I'm just saying,

1484
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:06,180
as journalists, we have
an obligation to this story.

1485
01:19:06,280 --> 01:19:09,820
And Afghanistan should be
on our air more, period.

1486
01:19:09,920 --> 01:19:11,580
With the resources we have over there,

1487
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:14,140
Afghanistan should
definitely be on our air more.

1488
01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:18,370
But the problem is,
as much as everyone loves the troops,

1489
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:21,860
they don't actually want to watch
them on the news anymore.

1490
01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:23,121
They just don't.

1491
01:19:23,440 --> 01:19:26,220
So I can't give Afghanistan more air.

1492
01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:30,260
Which means I need
to give Afghanistan fewer resources.

1493
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:32,840
That's what's best for the network.

1494
01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:34,740
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Geri...

1495
01:19:34,840 --> 01:19:35,841
You have that call now.

1496
01:19:38,960 --> 01:19:40,420
I'm not trying to be a bitch.

1497
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:41,681
Okay, let me pitch you something.

1498
01:19:41,800 --> 01:19:43,020
All right, the Chinese
mining concession...

1499
01:19:43,120 --> 01:19:44,100
Jesus!

1500
01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:45,420
Look, the last person who got any kind of

1501
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:47,100
bounce out of Afghanistan

1502
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:48,940
was your friend Tanya Vanderpoel.

1503
01:19:49,040 --> 01:19:52,362
She's actually got me over a barrel
thanks to that drone story.

1504
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:54,180
What do you mean, "over a barrel"?

1505
01:19:54,280 --> 01:19:55,645
She's London, Kim.

1506
01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:59,328
- You're hiring Tanya.
- Yes.

1507
01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:02,609
I assumed you two flew here together.

1508
01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:05,891
She's here.

1509
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:08,860
(STUTTERS)

1510
01:20:08,960 --> 01:20:13,180
I'm sorry, you started
talking to her before the UAV strike?

1511
01:20:13,280 --> 01:20:14,805
Is UAV a drone?

1512
01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:18,086
Hello! Where are you going?

1513
01:20:18,400 --> 01:20:20,801
No, I'm only here for a few days.

1514
01:20:21,320 --> 01:20:22,810
Oh, I know.

1515
01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:26,001
Oh, fuck.

1516
01:20:26,640 --> 01:20:28,244
I don't know what to say to you.

1517
01:20:28,360 --> 01:20:30,380
Ducky, I'm sorry. I fucked up.

1518
01:20:30,480 --> 01:20:32,060
Did you go to the Tribals

1519
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:33,810
because you were
in a contract negotiation?

1520
01:20:33,920 --> 01:20:36,060
Dude, I'm not stealing your job, okay?

1521
01:20:36,160 --> 01:20:39,004
Tanya, this is not about my fucking job.

1522
01:20:40,160 --> 01:20:41,820
We have to make good calls, right?

1523
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:44,700
And now Andy lost an eye
and Jaweed is dead.

1524
01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:47,420
Christ, man, we've both
fucking made mistakes!

1525
01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:50,603
No. Tell me you didn't go to the Tribals
because of a contract.

1526
01:20:51,720 --> 01:20:54,820
You would have done exactly what I did
if Jaweed had gone to you.

1527
01:20:54,920 --> 01:20:56,524
No. I'm not you.

1528
01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:57,801
(SCOFFS)

1529
01:21:03,080 --> 01:21:05,082
Do you remember your first embed?

1530
01:21:06,440 --> 01:21:08,420
You interviewed a young Marine?

1531
01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:09,500
Coughlin? Yes. What?

1532
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:13,100
Yeah, well, after they aired your story,

1533
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:17,340
where you used his soundbite
about not loading his rifle,

1534
01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:19,363
they sent him to Helmand.

1535
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:22,082
And he got his legs blown off.

1536
01:21:23,040 --> 01:21:24,405
So I hear.

1537
01:21:30,040 --> 01:21:31,565
See you in Kabul.

1538
01:21:41,040 --> 01:21:42,644
(DOOR OPENING)

1539
01:22:01,760 --> 01:22:04,684
IAIN: (ON PHONE) I'm not really
surprised she chased the story.

1540
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:06,540
That's what we do. That's what you do.

1541
01:22:06,640 --> 01:22:07,687
I would do it.

1542
01:22:10,680 --> 01:22:12,170
Sorry.

1543
01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:14,980
Goddamn it, I'm tired.

1544
01:22:15,080 --> 01:22:16,380
You booked your return yet?

1545
01:22:16,480 --> 01:22:18,260
'Cause you could come through
Glasgow if you wanted.

1546
01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:19,300
- I'll meet you.
- What?

1547
01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:21,100
No. What about Badakhshan?

1548
01:22:21,200 --> 01:22:22,700
Badakhshan, that will keep

1549
01:22:22,800 --> 01:22:25,260
because the fucking pass
is still snowed in.

1550
01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:28,100
I need that story. (SIGHING)
I need a hit, all right?

1551
01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:30,300
I need something
so that Geri doesn't decide

1552
01:22:30,400 --> 01:22:32,687
I'm more useful as
an ottoman in her fucking office.

1553
01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:35,700
What you need, Kim,
is some time out of the bubble.

1554
01:22:35,800 --> 01:22:38,180
You'd better get ready.
I'm fucking making love to you

1555
01:22:38,280 --> 01:22:41,204
to bagpipe versions of Sade songs.

1556
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:44,620
Yeah, okay.

1557
01:22:44,720 --> 01:22:46,529
Really? You'll meet me in Glasgow?

1558
01:22:47,280 --> 01:22:49,780
Yeah, I'll meet you in Glasgow.

1559
01:22:49,880 --> 01:22:51,530
- I'll get the next flight.
- Okay.

1560
01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:53,882
- Bye.
- Bye.

1561
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:04,700
IAIN: Hey, Antoine.

1562
01:23:04,800 --> 01:23:07,690
Where have you come from?
I thought you were in Badakhshan.

1563
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:10,900
I was. Drove back overnight.

1564
01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:12,860
Wait, what? The pass is open?

1565
01:23:12,960 --> 01:23:14,849
Oui. For now.

1566
01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:21,209
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1567
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:30,081
IAIN: Cheers.

1568
01:23:30,440 --> 01:23:31,441
(REPLIES IN FRENCH)

1569
01:23:48,080 --> 01:23:49,844
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1570
01:23:51,440 --> 01:23:52,771
Oh, Christ. (CLEARS THROAT)

1571
01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:55,600
(CONVERSING IN DARI)

1572
01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:56,847
Excuse me.

1573
01:23:58,640 --> 01:23:59,721
Kunduz near?

1574
01:24:00,080 --> 01:24:01,127
Far?

1575
01:24:06,400 --> 01:24:08,846
I'd like to rent a car.

1576
01:24:10,360 --> 01:24:11,407
- Mmm-hmm.
- (LAUGHS)

1577
01:24:11,720 --> 01:24:13,643
(SPEAKING DARI)

1578
01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:16,405
Aye, thank you.

1579
01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:18,966
Yeah, I get it. Thank you. Thanks a lot.

1580
01:24:22,080 --> 01:24:23,366
(IAIN CLEARS THROAT)

1581
01:24:24,960 --> 01:24:26,610
(INDISTINCT YELLING)

1582
01:24:30,320 --> 01:24:32,448
(THUDDING)

1583
01:24:33,200 --> 01:24:35,282
(YELLING CONTINUES)

1584
01:24:43,240 --> 01:24:44,924
Oh, Jesus.

1585
01:24:45,480 --> 01:24:47,164
Oh, shit.

1586
01:24:47,480 --> 01:24:49,847
(MEN YELLING IN DARI)

1587
01:24:56,160 --> 01:24:58,527
PILOT: (ON PA) Welcome to
Glasgow International Airport.

1588
01:24:59,480 --> 01:25:02,420
Outside temperature's 18 degrees Celsius.

1589
01:25:02,520 --> 01:25:04,580
- Local time is 15 hours.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMING)

1590
01:25:04,680 --> 01:25:07,500
There will be an airline representative
to assist you to your luggage.

1591
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:09,728
Once again, thank you
for flying with us...

1592
01:25:11,080 --> 01:25:12,605
Oh, my God.

1593
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:26,380
KIM: Leaving a message for Susan.

1594
01:25:26,480 --> 01:25:28,620
Woodward, I'm back in Kabul again.

1595
01:25:28,720 --> 01:25:31,260
I'm trying to get information about
the disappearance of Iain MacKelpie,

1596
01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:33,500
so if someone at Reuters
can please call me back.

1597
01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:35,380
Call to let me know
that you've received this message.

1598
01:25:35,480 --> 01:25:36,686
Thank you.

1599
01:25:41,680 --> 01:25:43,728
(DARI ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)

1600
01:25:53,720 --> 01:25:55,940
KIM: Who kidnaps a Scottish
freelance photographer?

1601
01:25:56,040 --> 01:25:58,180
The whole point of kidnapping
is to get money, right?

1602
01:25:58,280 --> 01:25:59,460
As far as I understand,

1603
01:25:59,560 --> 01:26:01,460
Iain was just in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

1604
01:26:01,560 --> 01:26:04,340
Can this half-assed country
not even do kidnapping right?

1605
01:26:04,440 --> 01:26:07,420
ISAF does not think
this was an upper-tier organization.

1606
01:26:07,520 --> 01:26:10,300
So these men will
probably try to sell him to someone else.

1607
01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:13,540
And then there
will be some talking, you know.

1608
01:26:13,640 --> 01:26:15,961
Oh, my God, Fahim. They're gonna kill him.

1609
01:26:16,600 --> 01:26:18,340
No, they will not, Kim,

1610
01:26:18,440 --> 01:26:19,851
inshallah.

1611
01:26:22,120 --> 01:26:25,408
Now is when you're supposed
to say "I told you so."

1612
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:33,886
(GOAT BLEATING)

1613
01:26:35,160 --> 01:26:36,446
TERRY: Fuck!

1614
01:26:44,640 --> 01:26:47,962
FAHIM: Ramadan has ended.
They are slaughtering lambs.

1615
01:26:54,960 --> 01:26:56,246
(SIGHING)

1616
01:27:07,960 --> 01:27:09,041
May I speak with him?

1617
01:27:09,160 --> 01:27:10,161
The general's busy.

1618
01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:16,122
Really, General? The elliptical?

1619
01:27:16,640 --> 01:27:18,449
I have bad knees.

1620
01:27:20,800 --> 01:27:23,860
I'm guessing you didn't come here
for the smell of balls.

1621
01:27:23,960 --> 01:27:25,928
Everybody get the fuck out!

1622
01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,300
They believe that he may have been sold

1623
01:27:33,400 --> 01:27:34,940
to another organization

1624
01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:36,883
somewhere in that same region.

1625
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:43,207
That's a pretty big ask, Baker.

1626
01:27:44,840 --> 01:27:47,002
There's a real-time clock on this.

1627
01:27:48,600 --> 01:27:50,523
I'm sorry, I can't help you.

1628
01:27:54,480 --> 01:27:55,766
(KIM CLEARS THROAT)

1629
01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:01,340
You know, it's just a shame that

1630
01:28:01,440 --> 01:28:03,260
y'all don't get credit for all these

1631
01:28:03,360 --> 01:28:05,100
high-profile things that you do.

1632
01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:07,680
You know, especially with
SEALs and Delta out there.

1633
01:28:07,800 --> 01:28:11,441
I mean, what week goes by that you don't
see those assholes on TV, am I right?

1634
01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:16,300
And then next time Congress
votes on a Pentagon budget

1635
01:28:16,400 --> 01:28:20,060
and there's this pesky little
10% line item for the Marines,

1636
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:23,180
next thing you know,
you guys are just part of the Navy.

1637
01:28:23,280 --> 01:28:26,923
Although, sir, you would look spectacular
in one of those pretty white uniforms.

1638
01:28:31,760 --> 01:28:33,125
God, you know what?

1639
01:28:34,240 --> 01:28:36,620
It's just occurring to me
that, unlike JSOC,

1640
01:28:36,720 --> 01:28:38,927
you guys allow reporter embeds.

1641
01:28:39,080 --> 01:28:42,926
Which means that a cameraman
could go on a FORECON mission.

1642
01:28:43,560 --> 01:28:46,609
Don't you think that would be
great for the Corps, sir?

1643
01:28:47,080 --> 01:28:48,923
That kind of exposure?

1644
01:28:50,440 --> 01:28:51,965
Pretty good for you, too.

1645
01:28:53,560 --> 01:28:55,180
Look, we don't go in blind.

1646
01:28:55,280 --> 01:28:57,700
We have to know what we're doing
and where we're going.

1647
01:28:57,800 --> 01:28:59,180
It's the way we work.

1648
01:28:59,280 --> 01:29:01,940
We're not likely to get an address, but...

1649
01:29:02,040 --> 01:29:03,500
When you have something concrete,

1650
01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:04,965
come back and we'll get kinetic.

1651
01:29:10,920 --> 01:29:12,524
Ugh! (SPEAKS DARI)

1652
01:29:15,760 --> 01:29:19,500
Please tell Mr. Sadiq
that his "special friend" is here.

1653
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:21,980
What can I get for you? Some tea?
The new PlayStation?

1654
01:29:22,080 --> 01:29:23,660
No, thank you.
I just need a moment of your time.

1655
01:29:23,760 --> 01:29:24,966
SADIQ: Ah.

1656
01:29:27,520 --> 01:29:29,100
We still friends, Sadiq?

1657
01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:32,260
Well, that is up to you, Kim.

1658
01:29:32,360 --> 01:29:34,180
Because you once told me

1659
01:29:34,280 --> 01:29:37,020
that nothing happens here
that you don't know about.

1660
01:29:37,120 --> 01:29:41,300
So you must know about my friend
Iain MacKelpie getting kidnapped.

1661
01:29:41,400 --> 01:29:42,460
I did hear about this, yes.

1662
01:29:42,560 --> 01:29:43,740
Yeah, well, everybody heard about it,

1663
01:29:43,840 --> 01:29:48,300
but a powerful man such as yourself
must actually know something.

1664
01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:50,500
Or your friend Pacha Khan knows something.

1665
01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:51,860
Or his friend does.

1666
01:29:51,960 --> 01:29:53,121
Of course.

1667
01:29:53,240 --> 01:29:56,220
I could make some inquiries,
but I can only do this

1668
01:29:56,320 --> 01:29:58,482
for a very special friend.

1669
01:30:01,400 --> 01:30:02,401
(SIGHS)

1670
01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:19,980
I have a video that I think
you should watch, Sadiq.

1671
01:30:20,080 --> 01:30:22,606
You push the little triangle.

1672
01:30:23,760 --> 01:30:26,081
(LAUGHS) You can watch video on the phone?

1673
01:30:29,840 --> 01:30:31,001
What is this?

1674
01:30:32,600 --> 01:30:34,523
It looks like the Attorney General

1675
01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:36,500
of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan

1676
01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:37,886
dancing in the street

1677
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:42,363
with a Western enemy of Islam
at a party where alcohol was served.

1678
01:30:43,440 --> 01:30:44,940
I've never touched alcohol in my life!

1679
01:30:45,040 --> 01:30:46,963
Well, I'm just saying how it looks.

1680
01:30:53,280 --> 01:30:54,850
(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

1681
01:30:54,960 --> 01:30:56,883
It's a good idea, right?

1682
01:30:57,880 --> 01:30:59,723
It's a great idea!

1683
01:31:00,520 --> 01:31:01,681
It's fucking ace!

1684
01:31:04,360 --> 01:31:05,885
Good on ya, Kim!

1685
01:31:07,760 --> 01:31:11,003
Let's go, load up!
Let's go, move, move, move!

1686
01:31:24,160 --> 01:31:26,811
You drink Tennessee whiskey, Miss Baker?

1687
01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:29,001
Yeah.

1688
01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:33,125
Outstanding.

1689
01:31:44,160 --> 01:31:46,766
(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)

1690
01:32:20,720 --> 01:32:22,927
(MUFFLED GUNSHOTS)

1691
01:32:24,360 --> 01:32:26,647
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)

1692
01:32:51,640 --> 01:32:53,051
(MUFFLED EXPLOSION)

1693
01:32:53,480 --> 01:32:55,130
(MUFFLED GUNFIRE)

1694
01:32:56,880 --> 01:32:59,486
(MEN GROANING)

1695
01:33:13,280 --> 01:33:15,567
(INDISTINCT TALKING)

1696
01:33:20,280 --> 01:33:21,884
Tall Brian? What the fuck?

1697
01:33:35,200 --> 01:33:37,180
Hang tight, sir.
I'm gonna get you that ride.

1698
01:33:37,280 --> 01:33:38,725
Thank you. (CLEARS THROAT)

1699
01:33:43,120 --> 01:33:45,646
KIM: What happened
to the army, Dr. Brydon?

1700
01:33:47,360 --> 01:33:48,361
(SIGHS)

1701
01:33:48,560 --> 01:33:50,050
I am the army.

1702
01:33:55,200 --> 01:33:56,860
Thank you, Kim.

1703
01:33:56,960 --> 01:33:58,200
KIM: How are you?

1704
01:33:58,680 --> 01:33:59,841
I've had worse kidnappings.

1705
01:34:00,200 --> 01:34:01,201
(CHUCKLES)

1706
01:34:03,720 --> 01:34:04,801
ANCHORMAN: MacKelpie is being
treated for minor injuries.

1707
01:34:06,280 --> 01:34:07,940
Again, this incredible footage

1708
01:34:08,040 --> 01:34:09,929
was produced by our very own Kim Baker.

1709
01:34:10,040 --> 01:34:12,327
Just incredible. Way to go, Kim!

1710
01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:17,020
If you want to kidnap
someone fucking twice,

1711
01:34:17,120 --> 01:34:18,100
you do a Toyota.

1712
01:34:18,200 --> 01:34:21,860
Fucking not as interesting as it got
when they fucking pulled out a burqa.

1713
01:34:21,960 --> 01:34:23,500
It's too fucking long for me!

1714
01:34:23,600 --> 01:34:25,180
I don't know who
the woman was it belonged to.

1715
01:34:25,280 --> 01:34:26,860
- I'm not fucking 6'2", right?
- (LAUGHTER)

1716
01:34:26,960 --> 01:34:29,900
I'm dragging this fucking thing along,
thinking the only consolation is,

1717
01:34:30,000 --> 01:34:32,100
at least if I'm a fucking woman,

1718
01:34:32,200 --> 01:34:34,900
I'm not gonna get buggered,
you know what I'm saying?

1719
01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:37,162
(LAUGHTER)

1720
01:34:41,600 --> 01:34:43,740
So anyway, I took
a little something, actually.

1721
01:34:43,840 --> 01:34:45,340
I went to the gift shop at Taliban.

1722
01:34:45,440 --> 01:34:46,680
I'm afraid all I could get

1723
01:34:46,840 --> 01:34:48,365
was that.

1724
01:34:52,480 --> 01:34:54,369
(LAUGHTER)

1725
01:34:56,040 --> 01:34:58,691
(INDISTINCT TALKING)

1726
01:35:02,280 --> 01:35:04,009
(BRUSHING TEETH)

1727
01:35:07,160 --> 01:35:08,525
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

1728
01:35:12,440 --> 01:35:14,966
- It's a shame you're going.
- Hmm?

1729
01:35:15,120 --> 01:35:19,220
Well, I hope at least
they're flying you first class.

1730
01:35:19,320 --> 01:35:22,020
Geri doesn't like me that much.
But she does like me now,

1731
01:35:22,120 --> 01:35:24,361
so while I have this juice,

1732
01:35:24,480 --> 01:35:26,164
I've got to leverage it
into something better.

1733
01:35:26,280 --> 01:35:27,500
(SNAPS FINGERS) Yes!

1734
01:35:27,600 --> 01:35:28,860
Yes, wait, Iraq.

1735
01:35:28,960 --> 01:35:30,580
- I'll come with you.
- (LAUGHS)

1736
01:35:30,680 --> 01:35:33,460
No, actually, Pakistan.
That's where the real shooting shit is.

1737
01:35:33,560 --> 01:35:34,780
It's like the Wild West out there.

1738
01:35:34,880 --> 01:35:37,740
Actually, I told Geri
that I want New York or D.C.

1739
01:35:37,840 --> 01:35:39,205
(LAUGHING)

1740
01:35:43,040 --> 01:35:44,280
No, I did.

1741
01:35:45,560 --> 01:35:46,940
No, really, where are you going?

1742
01:35:47,040 --> 01:35:48,451
New York or D.C.

1743
01:35:50,520 --> 01:35:51,681
Why?

1744
01:35:53,280 --> 01:35:55,009
You can still come with me.

1745
01:36:01,560 --> 01:36:03,460
Because I think
there's plenty of good work

1746
01:36:03,560 --> 01:36:04,980
to be done in the real world,

1747
01:36:05,080 --> 01:36:07,128
and the Kabubble is well-established.

1748
01:36:07,240 --> 01:36:09,820
Is this about me going
to Badakhshan without you?

1749
01:36:09,920 --> 01:36:12,460
'Cause you would have done
exactly the same thing.

1750
01:36:12,560 --> 01:36:14,767
- And, hey, what, I forgive you!
- (KIM SCOFFS)

1751
01:36:17,520 --> 01:36:19,204
This is not about you.

1752
01:36:19,320 --> 01:36:21,940
It's not about Badakhshan, or Glasgow,

1753
01:36:22,040 --> 01:36:23,963
or the cottage with the chickens.

1754
01:36:25,080 --> 01:36:26,206
What chickens?

1755
01:36:33,320 --> 01:36:35,129
It's okay. I know you're not gonna come.

1756
01:36:39,520 --> 01:36:41,363
I just have to get out of here
before it's too late.

1757
01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:44,365
What do you mean?

1758
01:36:46,440 --> 01:36:48,602
I started to feel like this was normal.

1759
01:36:51,680 --> 01:36:53,523
You know it's not, right?

1760
01:37:10,840 --> 01:37:12,490
Come to New York and get it.

1761
01:37:13,760 --> 01:37:16,604
Remember, you're like a six in Manhattan.

1762
01:37:37,960 --> 01:37:40,611
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1763
01:37:49,680 --> 01:37:51,205
How's your baby?

1764
01:37:51,960 --> 01:37:53,200
Which one?

1765
01:37:53,800 --> 01:37:55,723
- You have two?
- Yes.

1766
01:37:57,800 --> 01:37:59,723
- Irish twins.
- (LAUGHS)

1767
01:38:01,640 --> 01:38:04,260
No, they are very good.

1768
01:38:04,360 --> 01:38:07,125
The younger one, the boy,
he's very strong.

1769
01:38:07,280 --> 01:38:08,520
- Mmm.
- Mmm.

1770
01:38:08,880 --> 01:38:10,860
I bet the girl is strong, too.

1771
01:38:10,960 --> 01:38:12,325
She's stronger.

1772
01:38:41,680 --> 01:38:43,330
So, um,

1773
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:47,321
those men in the hospital, the addicts...

1774
01:38:49,040 --> 01:38:51,060
Any of them ever get better?

1775
01:38:51,160 --> 01:38:53,845
Have a happy ending?

1776
01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:08,444
In my culture, we would hug. (CHUCKLES)

1777
01:40:28,320 --> 01:40:29,321
(GRUNTS)

1778
01:40:33,280 --> 01:40:34,361
Hey.

1779
01:40:35,600 --> 01:40:37,443
COUGHLIN: You know, I miss it. The Stan.

1780
01:40:38,040 --> 01:40:39,420
KIM: Yeah, I miss it, too.

1781
01:40:39,520 --> 01:40:41,602
Actually, I tried to go back

1782
01:40:42,640 --> 01:40:44,290
but even the Army wouldn't take me.

1783
01:40:44,960 --> 01:40:47,980
I mean, the Army!
I mean, that's just hurtful.

1784
01:40:48,080 --> 01:40:49,081
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

1785
01:40:51,200 --> 01:40:54,020
Well, I'm very sorry
for what happened to you.

1786
01:40:54,120 --> 01:40:56,940
So if there's anything
that you want to say to me,

1787
01:40:57,040 --> 01:40:58,041
that's why I'm here.

1788
01:40:58,400 --> 01:41:00,050
That's why I came here.

1789
01:41:00,440 --> 01:41:01,487
Ma'am,

1790
01:41:03,280 --> 01:41:06,807
I lost my legs because of an IED,
not because of you.

1791
01:41:09,080 --> 01:41:11,220
I appreciate that,
but if I hadn't quoted you,

1792
01:41:11,320 --> 01:41:13,641
- you wouldn't have been transferred.
- (LAUGHS)

1793
01:41:13,800 --> 01:41:15,500
No, really, you can say
whatever you want to me.

1794
01:41:15,600 --> 01:41:16,620
That's why I'm here.

1795
01:41:16,720 --> 01:41:18,020
Okay, well, then let's say you're right.

1796
01:41:18,120 --> 01:41:19,201
It's still not 'cause of you, ma'am.

1797
01:41:19,640 --> 01:41:23,820
Some 12-year-old haji
had to plant that bomb.

1798
01:41:23,920 --> 01:41:26,700
And, hell, you know,
if Bin Laden's parents

1799
01:41:26,800 --> 01:41:28,060
hadn't have gotten divorced,

1800
01:41:28,160 --> 01:41:31,084
maybe none of us would've been
in the Stan to begin with.

1801
01:41:33,000 --> 01:41:36,540
And the Taliban, they wouldn't
have even been there for UBL

1802
01:41:36,640 --> 01:41:39,260
if Brezhnev hadn't have gone
and fouled up Afghanistan

1803
01:41:39,360 --> 01:41:40,850
in the first place.

1804
01:41:41,760 --> 01:41:45,340
And the British Empire. Yeah.

1805
01:41:45,440 --> 01:41:46,580
And Kim Baker.

1806
01:41:46,680 --> 01:41:48,170
Okay, I deserve that.

1807
01:41:49,400 --> 01:41:51,700
(STAMMERS) Goddamn! Once you got no legs,

1808
01:41:51,800 --> 01:41:53,643
everyone takes everything so serious.

1809
01:41:53,840 --> 01:41:54,900
(COUGHLIN SCOFFS)

1810
01:41:55,000 --> 01:41:58,800
I mean, there's only so much
any of us have any control of,

1811
01:41:59,520 --> 01:42:02,100
good or bad.

1812
01:42:02,200 --> 01:42:05,340
If you didn't learn that in Afghanistan,
you were not paying attention.

1813
01:42:05,440 --> 01:42:07,660
So, you're not gonna yell at me?

1814
01:42:07,760 --> 01:42:10,081
(CHUCKLING) I mean, ma'am...

1815
01:42:11,880 --> 01:42:13,644
Kim, you've got to move on.

1816
01:42:15,120 --> 01:42:17,202
You're giving yourself
way too much credit.

1817
01:42:17,960 --> 01:42:19,883
You embrace the suck,

1818
01:42:21,040 --> 01:42:23,042
you move the fuck forward.

1819
01:42:29,160 --> 01:42:31,401
What other fucking choice do we have?

1820
01:42:35,240 --> 01:42:36,571
ELENA: Do I hear swearing over there?

1821
01:42:37,480 --> 01:42:39,980
How are you standing there
the one time I curse?

1822
01:42:40,080 --> 01:42:41,100
- "One time."
- I mean...

1823
01:42:41,200 --> 01:42:42,300
It's true. He had a good

1824
01:42:42,400 --> 01:42:43,380
- long run in the military.
- (COUGHLIN LAUGHS)

1825
01:42:43,480 --> 01:42:45,130
ELENA: Don't cover up for him.

1826
01:42:45,840 --> 01:42:46,980
So, Kim, are you gonna stay for dinner?

1827
01:42:47,080 --> 01:42:48,844
Of course she will.

1828
01:43:00,760 --> 01:43:04,003
(INDISTINCT TALKING)

1829
01:43:09,760 --> 01:43:10,921
Bye!

1830
01:43:11,840 --> 01:43:15,049
- Say bye to Kim. Bye, Kim!
- Say bye.

1831
01:43:35,120 --> 01:43:37,620
KIM: Colonel, the Afghan
National Army missed

1832
01:43:37,720 --> 01:43:39,180
yet another benchmark for preparedness.

1833
01:43:39,280 --> 01:43:42,300
How do you think that will
affect our draw down in the region?

1834
01:43:42,400 --> 01:43:44,700
There needs to be a revision to the
previously announced draw down

1835
01:43:44,800 --> 01:43:46,820
or our future exit strategy.

1836
01:43:46,920 --> 01:43:47,921
Thank you, Colonel Roberts.

1837
01:43:48,040 --> 01:43:49,041
Thank you. My pleasure.

1838
01:43:49,160 --> 01:43:51,580
Coming up, a look at the war on terror

1839
01:43:51,680 --> 01:43:54,300
that's close to home
for those of us who cover it.

1840
01:43:54,400 --> 01:43:56,300
From London,
I'll be joined by award-winning

1841
01:43:56,400 --> 01:43:58,340
combat photographer, Iain MacKelpie.

1842
01:43:58,440 --> 01:44:00,220
His new book, Conflict Zone,

1843
01:44:00,320 --> 01:44:02,260
chronicles a decade spent working

1844
01:44:02,360 --> 01:44:04,220
in the Middle East and Afghanistan.

1845
01:44:04,320 --> 01:44:06,060
That's when we return.

1846
01:44:06,160 --> 01:44:08,740
DIRECTOR: And we're clear. Back in 40.

1847
01:44:08,840 --> 01:44:09,820
Hi, Iain.

1848
01:44:09,920 --> 01:44:11,900
Hi. Was I supposed to say something then

1849
01:44:12,000 --> 01:44:13,220
- when you introduced me?
- Nope.

1850
01:44:13,320 --> 01:44:16,529
Nope. Just sit up, smile.

1851
01:44:17,960 --> 01:44:19,724
I can't smile. My face feels weird.

1852
01:44:19,840 --> 01:44:21,900
No, you're fine. You look good.

1853
01:44:22,000 --> 01:44:23,420
Thank you for coming on the show.

1854
01:44:23,520 --> 01:44:24,820
No, please. Thanks for having me.

1855
01:44:24,920 --> 01:44:26,922
- I got it. Okay, yeah. Got it.
- (CLEARS THROAT)

1856
01:44:27,840 --> 01:44:29,820
You know, they got me
on this book tour at the moment.

1857
01:44:29,920 --> 01:44:31,300
I'm gonna be in New York
at the end of the month,

1858
01:44:31,400 --> 01:44:33,004
if you'd fancy a coffee.

1859
01:44:33,840 --> 01:44:37,845
DIRECTOR: We're back
in five, four, three...