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00:00:01,958 --> 00:00:03,958
Calendar Girls (2003)
1h43m50s PAL 25 fps.

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So, ladies...

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straight to the high
point of our meeting.

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Our guest speaker.

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00:00:44,835 --> 00:00:48,873
I'm very pleased to welcome
Alan Rathbone from York,

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00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:51,332
who's gonna be giving us
a talk on the history

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00:00:51,395 --> 00:00:54,341
of the milk marketing board.

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00:00:54,403 --> 00:00:55,723
Thank you, Alan.

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00:00:56,931 --> 00:01:00,237
Good evening, ladies of
the Women's Institute.

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00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:08,650
Ladies, I'd like to welcome
Iris Benton from Ilkley.

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She's come to lead us through
the fascinating world of rugs.

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I beg your pardon, Iris.
I stand corrected.

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It's not just rugs. It's
all forms of carpeting.

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Oh, thank God.

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For a minute, I thought
it was going to be dull.

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Our 'round-the-world cruise
started in September.

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In Skipton. When we
booked the tickets.

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That's them.

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00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:43,043
They were a special offer.

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00:01:43,108 --> 00:01:45,323
And it was essential,
my wife told me,

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to book them before the
25th of the month.

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00:01:53,027 --> 00:01:54,729
Thank you.

23
00:02:03,716 --> 00:02:05,483
I don't know about you ladies.

24
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,275
But can I just say, Pauline,

25
00:02:07,331 --> 00:02:11,085
I had no idea that broccoli
could be so intriguing.

26
00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:13,126
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

27
00:02:14,147 --> 00:02:15,304
Now, then, ladies.

28
00:02:15,363 --> 00:02:18,506
Can I have a volunteer
to draw the raffle?

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00:02:22,531 --> 00:02:23,950
- No.
- Yes.

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00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:26,349
- No!
- All right, I'll ask him.

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00:02:26,404 --> 00:02:28,936
- Volunteer your own husband.
- Oh, yeah, right.

32
00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:31,428
What's Rod going to
talk to the W.I. about?

33
00:02:31,492 --> 00:02:32,583
Well, yeah, exactly.

34
00:02:32,643 --> 00:02:34,793
That's exactly what
John would say.

35
00:02:34,851 --> 00:02:36,902
What the hell am
I gonna speak about?

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00:02:36,964 --> 00:02:38,350
I don't care.

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00:02:38,403 --> 00:02:41,731
It's gonna be better than the
history of the cauliflower.

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00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,912
Or whatever we've
got waiting for us.

39
00:02:43,972 --> 00:02:45,870
Annie, tell him.

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00:02:45,923 --> 00:02:49,229
John, the whole point
of the W.I. is...

41
00:02:49,284 --> 00:02:50,243
Listen to me.

42
00:02:50,244 --> 00:02:52,360
Annie, what is the
point of the W.I.?

43
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:56,141
"Enlightenment, fun,
and friendship."

44
00:02:56,196 --> 00:02:58,062
Well, there, you see?
It's right.

45
00:02:58,116 --> 00:03:00,516
It's them things.

46
00:03:00,579 --> 00:03:02,282
In my case, it's
something you did

47
00:03:02,339 --> 00:03:05,515
because your mother wanted
you to, and then she died.

48
00:03:05,571 --> 00:03:07,437
One seed in each pot.

49
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,739
You're bloody useless, you are.

50
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:13,450
Oh, look. Is that all
right like that?

51
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:33,097
I've done the Harman wedding,
but the carnation table fronts

52
00:03:33,156 --> 00:03:36,102
need to be done for that
conference in Guiseley.

53
00:03:36,164 --> 00:03:39,437
Good Lord. Nagging Lilies.

54
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,635
And I couldn't find
the order form.

55
00:03:48,484 --> 00:03:51,245
I thought after your
fantastic reorganization,

56
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:54,180
all the order forms had
to go on the bent nail.

57
00:03:57,188 --> 00:04:00,134
Are you going upstairs
to do your homework?

58
00:04:00,195 --> 00:04:01,154
Am I bollocks?

59
00:04:01,155 --> 00:04:04,134
What happened yesterday
can't happen again.

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00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:45,162
Jem?

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00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:46,725
Mum.

62
00:05:02,532 --> 00:05:04,519
Oh, you! Shoo!

63
00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:06,413
You beggar!

64
00:05:06,468 --> 00:05:07,909
Go on!

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00:05:17,508 --> 00:05:20,170
Oh, he's a little
devil, is that crow.

66
00:05:20,228 --> 00:05:23,370
He'll have all them seedlings
if we don't do something.

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00:05:29,188 --> 00:05:33,640
Something we need to have
a little chat about.

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00:05:34,404 --> 00:05:36,652
- Annie...
- Don't leave me.

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00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:41,260
Hey, come here.

70
00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:45,967
Hey, hey.

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I'm not leaving you.

72
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,764
You soft girl.

73
00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:54,404
At least I bloody hope not.

74
00:06:04,548 --> 00:06:05,802
So...

75
00:06:07,588 --> 00:06:10,894
You know, what kind
is it he's got?

76
00:06:10,949 --> 00:06:13,993
Says he's gonna call
it "Saddam Hussein."

77
00:06:17,956 --> 00:06:21,317
You should have told us.
I'm your oldest friend.

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00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:24,141
You should've told me the
moment you found out.

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00:06:24,196 --> 00:06:25,549
I did.

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00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:32,015
- No big hoo-ha, though, okay?
- Okay.

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00:06:32,069 --> 00:06:35,942
It'll make it easier to get back
to normal when he gets out,

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00:06:36,005 --> 00:06:37,510
and the tests are clear.

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00:06:37,573 --> 00:06:38,795
Yeah.

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And everything.

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00:06:52,165 --> 00:06:54,926
All entries for the home
and craft competition

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00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:57,774
to the W.I. tent
immediately, please.

87
00:06:57,829 --> 00:06:59,629
What are they? Hells Angels?

88
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,012
We're gonna make a move.
We'll see you.

89
00:07:04,068 --> 00:07:05,935
All right. See you later.
Yeah.

90
00:07:10,405 --> 00:07:12,969
- Oh, this is well done.
- Right.

91
00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:15,211
- "Garden in a plant pot."
- We've done that.

92
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,906
"Straightest courgette."

93
00:07:16,964 --> 00:07:18,503
"Most creative with an egg."

94
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,484
We've done everything,
haven't we?

95
00:07:20,548 --> 00:07:21,989
Look at 'em.

96
00:07:22,052 --> 00:07:24,551
Highgyll W.I.

97
00:07:24,613 --> 00:07:27,559
"Let's arrange our cakes
'round an old cartwheel."

98
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,191
Does look pretty, though.

99
00:07:29,253 --> 00:07:30,988
Whose side are you on, Brutus?

100
00:07:31,044 --> 00:07:32,004
I didn't mean...

101
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,935
What's your event, by the way?

102
00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:37,612
"Tea tray on an
international theme."

103
00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:41,128
I did Jamaica. But it could
be anywhere in the Caribbean.

104
00:07:42,085 --> 00:07:43,787
If more people did W.I.,

105
00:07:43,845 --> 00:07:46,572
there'd be half the need
for hallucinogenic drugs.

106
00:07:46,629 --> 00:07:47,818
Good. Ruth.

107
00:07:47,876 --> 00:07:49,709
International tea tray.

108
00:07:49,765 --> 00:07:51,053
"Victoria Sponge."

109
00:07:51,108 --> 00:07:52,909
Annie's on Victoria Sponge.

110
00:07:52,964 --> 00:07:54,666
"Something for under a pound"?

111
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,125
- Kathy.
- Where's that?

112
00:08:00,644 --> 00:08:01,603
What's that?

113
00:08:01,604 --> 00:08:03,372
Well, Annie won't have had time,

114
00:08:03,428 --> 00:08:06,472
running Yul Brynner in and
out of Skipton General.

115
00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:07,755
Ta-DA.

116
00:08:07,813 --> 00:08:10,094
Oh, I'm sorry. Just
took a bit long...

117
00:08:10,148 --> 00:08:11,948
- Oh, my God, the cake.
- Told you.

118
00:08:12,005 --> 00:08:14,154
It's all right. Chris
has saved the day.

119
00:08:14,213 --> 00:08:15,337
You baked that?

120
00:08:15,397 --> 00:08:17,798
I'm not a total dead
loss as a woman.

121
00:08:17,861 --> 00:08:19,628
I can't knit or make plum jam.

122
00:08:19,685 --> 00:08:21,900
But I can bake a bloody
Victoria Sponge.

123
00:08:21,957 --> 00:08:23,594
Ooh. All right. Thank you.

124
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:25,038
I didn't bake this one.

125
00:08:25,093 --> 00:08:26,861
I got it from Marks & Spencer's.

126
00:08:26,917 --> 00:08:28,303
- What?!
- The point is...

127
00:08:28,357 --> 00:08:31,783
You can't enter a cake that
you've bought in a shop.

128
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,093
It doesn't matter
where it comes from.

129
00:08:34,148 --> 00:08:37,771
This is about putting up a
united front against Highgyll.

130
00:08:37,829 --> 00:08:39,499
This isn't bakery.

131
00:08:40,741 --> 00:08:42,181
It's Zulu.

132
00:08:43,813 --> 00:08:45,417
On the ready.

133
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:07,599
Excitement in the main tent,

134
00:09:07,653 --> 00:09:10,152
where the W.I. judging's begun.

135
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:11,272
Oh, yeah?

136
00:09:11,332 --> 00:09:12,751
- Jury's back.
- Yeah.

137
00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:14,278
Ladies and gentlemen,

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00:09:14,341 --> 00:09:17,768
the winner of this year's
May Wilkinson trophy

139
00:09:17,829 --> 00:09:21,670
for Victoria Sponge,
maximum 12-inch diameter,

140
00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:26,021
I'm pleased to say,
is entry number 213.

141
00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:28,815
Nice knowing you, Chris.

142
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,309
Help me.

143
00:09:30,373 --> 00:09:31,727
Oh, that's interesting.

144
00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:38,798
Entered by Knapely W.I. and
baked by Chris Harper.

145
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,208
Very, very well done.
It's a beautiful cake.

146
00:09:47,269 --> 00:09:48,393
Thanks very much.

147
00:09:48,453 --> 00:09:52,807
And I'm proud to say
this cake also wins

148
00:09:52,869 --> 00:09:57,768
the judges' 2002
Discretionary Award.

149
00:10:04,325 --> 00:10:06,312
That was really beautiful.

150
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,977
Thank you.

151
00:10:10,501 --> 00:10:13,578
Listen, I never
normally ask this.

152
00:10:13,637 --> 00:10:17,096
The lightness of that sponge.

153
00:10:17,157 --> 00:10:19,111
Is there a trick?

154
00:10:19,173 --> 00:10:22,120
A technique how you got that?

155
00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:36,648
Well, I basically stuck
to me mother's advice

156
00:10:36,709 --> 00:10:39,209
about cake baking.

157
00:10:39,269 --> 00:10:43,918
Uh, which is line the
bowl with butter.

158
00:10:43,973 --> 00:10:46,701
Always use a warm spoon.

159
00:10:46,757 --> 00:10:49,038
And if it's a special event,

160
00:10:49,094 --> 00:10:51,723
get it at Marks & Spencer's.

161
00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:05,743
Here comes...

162
00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:07,118
Throw the cake at them.

163
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,950
Are you throwing my cake?

164
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,904
That is disrespectful.

165
00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:15,878
This is very good.

166
00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,927
Of course it's good.

167
00:11:17,990 --> 00:11:21,711
They don't give the May
Wilkinson out lightly.

168
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,231
In fact, I'm going
to be asked to do

169
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:26,192
a master class at the W.I.

170
00:11:26,245 --> 00:11:27,499
That'll be interesting.

171
00:11:27,557 --> 00:11:29,903
Oh, well, wasn't
I supposed to do one?

172
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:31,431
Something? Yeah?

173
00:11:31,493 --> 00:11:34,254
For the W.I.? Or
don't you want that?

174
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,394
Anyway, I tell you what.

175
00:11:36,453 --> 00:11:39,399
If you want me to do it, you
better get it in quick.

176
00:11:44,229 --> 00:11:50,602
* Bring me my bow
of burning gold *

177
00:11:51,398 --> 00:11:53,930
- Go, go, go.
- Kiss.

178
00:11:54,662 --> 00:11:56,364
They're on "arrows of desire."

179
00:11:56,421 --> 00:11:58,604
You're not going to
Ilkley without a kiss.

180
00:11:58,662 --> 00:12:01,673
I go every Thursday. It's
not an overseas posting.

181
00:12:01,734 --> 00:12:03,119
Kiss.

182
00:12:11,781 --> 00:12:17,936
* Nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand *

183
00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:23,849
* Till we have built
Jerusalem *

184
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:32,999
* In England's
green and pleasant land *

185
00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:43,119
Well, firstly, how
else could we start

186
00:12:43,174 --> 00:12:45,706
than by congratulating Chris

187
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,297
on not only winning
the May Wilkinson

188
00:12:48,357 --> 00:12:51,980
but also the judges'
Discretionary Ribbon.

189
00:12:55,654 --> 00:12:57,607
We're so pleased.

190
00:13:01,702 --> 00:13:06,285
Now, the next item on the
agenda is the calendar.

191
00:13:06,341 --> 00:13:08,775
Last year, we had views
of local bridges.

192
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:11,151
So this year, I thought
we could go for

193
00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:14,152
the 12 most beautiful
views of...

194
00:13:14,213 --> 00:13:16,810
- George Clooney.
- ...the churches of Wharfedale.

195
00:13:16,870 --> 00:13:18,092
11 fully clothed

196
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:21,194
and a little lift-the-flap
for December.

197
00:13:21,254 --> 00:13:22,923
Chris?

198
00:13:22,982 --> 00:13:25,863
Yeah? Oh, no. No. Nothing.

199
00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:28,239
She said, "George Clooney."

200
00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:30,853
No.

201
00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:33,800
No, Marie. I'm fine
with whatever.

202
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,067
Churches of Wharfedale
it is, then.

203
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:40,013
It should be George Clooney.

204
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,180
Come the toss between Burnsall
Church and George Clooney,

205
00:13:43,238 --> 00:13:45,638
I know which I'd rather
wake up looking at.

206
00:13:45,702 --> 00:13:47,273
It is a Norman church.

207
00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:50,095
I'm not disputing the
loveliness of the church.

208
00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:53,423
It's the firmness of the
buttocks I'm worried about.

209
00:13:53,478 --> 00:13:55,147
You'll pull your drip out.

210
00:13:55,206 --> 00:13:56,526
Anyway, let's face it.

211
00:13:56,582 --> 00:13:58,928
Oh, hate to be a revolutionary.

212
00:13:58,982 --> 00:14:01,164
It might actually
sell a few copies.

213
00:14:01,222 --> 00:14:04,266
The W.I. posing pouch calendar.

214
00:14:04,326 --> 00:14:06,475
Flesh sells, I tell you.

215
00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:09,642
Right. Decided.

216
00:14:09,702 --> 00:14:11,786
So, where do we get
a photographer?

217
00:14:11,846 --> 00:14:13,167
Art college.

218
00:14:13,222 --> 00:14:16,528
It's full of charlatans who
prostitute their talent.

219
00:14:16,582 --> 00:14:17,870
- Is it?
- Yeah.

220
00:14:17,926 --> 00:14:19,879
Lawrence was telling me.

221
00:14:20,998 --> 00:14:23,977
Hey, you want to see
this kid's photographs?

222
00:14:24,038 --> 00:14:26,155
Yeah, look, don't
go on about them.

223
00:14:26,214 --> 00:14:28,494
He's taking some
of me sunflowers

224
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:30,666
to see how they're getting on.

225
00:14:30,726 --> 00:14:33,487
See, it's not your photographer.
It's your models.

226
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:35,593
Professional models cost a bomb.

227
00:14:37,414 --> 00:14:40,687
I'll model for you for nowt.

228
00:14:40,742 --> 00:14:41,701
No, thanks.

229
00:14:41,734 --> 00:14:45,160
I've just seen your backside.
It's not like George's.

230
00:15:00,678 --> 00:15:02,096
There you go.

231
00:15:03,046 --> 00:15:04,267
Ow!

232
00:15:04,326 --> 00:15:07,469
Oh, this bloody settee.

233
00:15:07,526 --> 00:15:09,807
They're gonna need
another relatives room.

234
00:15:09,863 --> 00:15:11,630
For the relatives
who got injured

235
00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:14,413
on the settee in the
bloody relatives room.

236
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,715
So, did you talk
to the specialist?

237
00:15:22,374 --> 00:15:25,201
John seems chirpier to me today.
What's the old...

238
00:15:25,254 --> 00:15:27,273
Pneumonia and septicemia.

239
00:15:27,334 --> 00:15:29,768
Oh, well, that's good.
I've heard of those.

240
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:33,223
They can deal with
those, can't they?

241
00:15:33,286 --> 00:15:36,876
It means his immune
system's weakened.

242
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,921
Chemo isn't working.

243
00:15:41,094 --> 00:15:44,367
Which means we're
finally out of straws.

244
00:15:51,847 --> 00:15:54,957
Don't you go buying any benches.

245
00:15:55,014 --> 00:15:57,808
I'll do what the hell
I like, John Clarke.

246
00:15:57,863 --> 00:16:01,006
You put a bench out here,

247
00:16:01,062 --> 00:16:04,238
It'll have "Leeds
Stuffed Arsenal" on it

248
00:16:04,294 --> 00:16:07,055
before you get back to the car.

249
00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:10,699
Come on.

250
00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:20,751
I've written me speech.

251
00:16:20,806 --> 00:16:21,765
W.I.

252
00:16:21,766 --> 00:16:23,370
All right.

253
00:16:24,870 --> 00:16:28,460
I did it about me job.

254
00:16:28,519 --> 00:16:30,319
And all this.

255
00:16:31,911 --> 00:16:33,864
You read it to me.

256
00:16:39,591 --> 00:16:42,734
"Flowers of Yorkshire are
like the women of Yorkshire."

257
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:47,722
"Every stage of their growth

258
00:16:47,783 --> 00:16:51,569
is more beautiful
than the last."

259
00:16:54,151 --> 00:16:57,229
"But the last phase

260
00:16:57,286 --> 00:17:00,167
is always the most glorious."

261
00:17:14,439 --> 00:17:17,417
"Then, very quickly,
they all go to seed."

262
00:17:20,903 --> 00:17:23,336
Oh, you.

263
00:17:23,399 --> 00:17:25,450
Cheeky beggar.

264
00:17:58,951 --> 00:18:00,904
Awhile ago,

265
00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:03,367
I asked John Clarke to
give us a talk here

266
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,849
at Knapely W.I.

267
00:18:06,087 --> 00:18:10,408
Annie asked me to read
it to you here tonight.

268
00:18:10,471 --> 00:18:12,686
And this is what he wrote.

269
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:18,633
"The flowers of Yorkshire are
like the women of Yorkshire.

270
00:18:18,695 --> 00:18:21,641
Every stage of their
growth has its own beauty.

271
00:18:21,703 --> 00:18:25,424
But the last phase is
always the most glorious."

272
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:28,753
"Then, very quickly,
they all go to seed."

273
00:18:30,823 --> 00:18:33,168
"Which makes it ironic.

274
00:18:33,223 --> 00:18:36,464
My favorite flower isn't
indigenous to the British Isles,

275
00:18:36,519 --> 00:18:38,767
let alone Yorkshire.

276
00:18:38,823 --> 00:18:41,420
I don't think there's
anything on this planet

277
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:45,549
that more trumpets life
than the sunflower."

278
00:18:46,343 --> 00:18:49,965
"For me, that's because of
the reason behind its name.

279
00:18:50,023 --> 00:18:52,205
Not because it looks
like the sun,

280
00:18:52,263 --> 00:18:56,202
but because it follows the sun.

281
00:18:56,263 --> 00:18:58,063
During the course of the day,

282
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:02,833
the head tracks the journey
of the sun across the sky.

283
00:19:02,887 --> 00:19:06,958
A satellite dish for sunshine.

284
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:10,343
Wherever light is,
no matter how weak,

285
00:19:10,407 --> 00:19:13,102
these flowers will find it.

286
00:19:13,159 --> 00:19:16,018
And that's such an
admirable thing.

287
00:19:16,775 --> 00:19:19,176
And such a lesson in life."

288
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,966
You ran into a gate?
How'd you do that?

289
00:19:35,527 --> 00:19:37,066
You what?

290
00:19:37,127 --> 00:19:38,251
He does a paper round.

291
00:19:38,312 --> 00:19:40,811
It pays for his
elocution lessons.

292
00:19:40,871 --> 00:19:43,250
Yeah? Well, he's bent
these good-style.

293
00:19:43,303 --> 00:19:44,940
It'll be...

294
00:19:45,863 --> 00:19:48,428
25 quid, that, love.

295
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,189
I have to have it.

296
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,069
Mum?

297
00:19:58,279 --> 00:20:01,356
Ted, would you mind
if I borrowed this?

298
00:20:01,415 --> 00:20:02,441
No.

299
00:20:05,095 --> 00:20:08,903
Moving gently into the locust.

300
00:20:10,471 --> 00:20:14,127
And then we have...

301
00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:17,129
...the lion.

302
00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:20,744
I have to admit,

303
00:20:20,807 --> 00:20:23,720
I'm concerned about our
leader's grasp of Tai Chi.

304
00:20:23,784 --> 00:20:26,762
And into the llama.

305
00:20:26,823 --> 00:20:28,241
- Llama?
- Llama?

306
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:29,768
Are there llamas in China?

307
00:20:29,831 --> 00:20:30,790
Okay.

308
00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:32,843
What?

309
00:20:32,903 --> 00:20:35,566
Are you all looking in
the right direction?

310
00:20:36,071 --> 00:20:37,325
See you Thursday, girls.

311
00:20:37,383 --> 00:20:38,637
- Bye, love.
- Bye.

312
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:39,852
Bye.

313
00:20:40,999 --> 00:20:42,800
How's Annie?

314
00:20:42,855 --> 00:20:44,841
How can we help, do you think?

315
00:20:48,392 --> 00:20:51,273
Are you doing anything
tomorrow afternoon?

316
00:21:06,376 --> 00:21:07,947
It is. I'm telling you.

317
00:21:08,007 --> 00:21:09,873
Girls laughing is a good sign.

318
00:21:11,143 --> 00:21:13,424
It's a top sign, I tell you.

319
00:21:14,279 --> 00:21:16,658
Bloody hell, if you're
in with Debbie Nolan.

320
00:21:16,711 --> 00:21:21,360
Not being unsound here, but she
has got the most fantastic tits.

321
00:21:21,416 --> 00:21:23,980
She has got fine mangoes.

322
00:21:25,127 --> 00:21:27,113
Actually, not mangoes.

323
00:21:27,176 --> 00:21:30,503
I don't imagine they'd
be hard like mangoes.

324
00:21:30,568 --> 00:21:33,230
Maybe plums.

325
00:21:33,288 --> 00:21:35,241
Ripe plums.

326
00:21:35,303 --> 00:21:38,282
You know. Big, ripe plums.

327
00:21:41,576 --> 00:21:43,856
No. What am I saying?

328
00:21:43,912 --> 00:21:45,330
No. Not plums.

329
00:21:45,384 --> 00:21:46,737
Balloons.

330
00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:48,112
That's it.

331
00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:50,316
That's exactly
what they're like.

332
00:21:50,376 --> 00:21:52,776
A pair of balloons you
find behind your settee

333
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,280
three days after a party.

334
00:21:54,343 --> 00:21:58,610
Gaz, will you stop
talking about tits?

335
00:21:59,272 --> 00:22:01,650
Why would I ever
want to do that?

336
00:22:03,848 --> 00:22:06,063
Well, I think it's
a great idea.

337
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,400
You weren't concentrating,
were you, Ruth?

338
00:22:08,456 --> 00:22:09,929
I was.

339
00:22:09,992 --> 00:22:12,491
We're going to raise
money for the hospital

340
00:22:12,552 --> 00:22:14,505
to buy a sofa in John's name.

341
00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:17,514
By posing for a nude calendar.

342
00:22:20,168 --> 00:22:21,194
Oh, no!

343
00:22:21,256 --> 00:22:22,282
Oh, sit down.

344
00:22:22,344 --> 00:22:25,704
I'm not asking you to
straddle an Harley-Davidson.

345
00:22:25,767 --> 00:22:28,048
It's still a leap
from Burnsall Church.

346
00:22:28,104 --> 00:22:29,609
But that's the whole point.

347
00:22:29,672 --> 00:22:32,880
You see, it's an
alternative calendar.

348
00:22:32,935 --> 00:22:33,895
It's...

349
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,880
It's what John suggested.

350
00:22:35,944 --> 00:22:37,614
Did he?

351
00:22:37,672 --> 00:22:41,546
"The last stage of the flower
is the most glorious."

352
00:22:41,608 --> 00:22:43,146
What this would be saying is,

353
00:22:43,208 --> 00:22:46,121
"Yes, John. Actually,
we agree."

354
00:22:46,184 --> 00:22:49,097
With respect, I didn't
hear him use the phrase,

355
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,894
"Whip your bras off."

356
00:22:53,192 --> 00:22:56,585
It's £999 in the
leather, that sofa.

357
00:22:56,648 --> 00:23:00,434
Can I remind you how much
last year's calendar raised?

358
00:23:00,488 --> 00:23:04,077
£75.60.

359
00:23:05,352 --> 00:23:06,411
Are you having it?

360
00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:08,818
We're having it, all right.

361
00:23:08,872 --> 00:23:10,738
Come on, I'll show you it all.

362
00:23:10,792 --> 00:23:14,152
Yeah, we'll get back to you.
Thank you.

363
00:23:15,368 --> 00:23:18,162
I don't know. She's
being weird.

364
00:23:18,216 --> 00:23:20,943
Normal weird or weird weird?

365
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,222
She found this.

366
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,746
You're kidding.
"Big Bazookas."

367
00:23:24,808 --> 00:23:26,543
I saw her looking at it.

368
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,327
God, I bet she
went off her head.

369
00:23:29,384 --> 00:23:32,526
My mum did when she found
me "Rubber Housewives."

370
00:23:35,048 --> 00:23:37,361
It's a difficult age.

371
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:41,933
Roundabout now, women go
through a difficult age

372
00:23:41,992 --> 00:23:45,713
when they get all
irrational and odd

373
00:23:45,768 --> 00:23:47,503
and difficult to predict.

374
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,717
How do you know?

375
00:23:48,776 --> 00:23:50,314
Me dad told me.

376
00:23:51,112 --> 00:23:52,104
Right.

377
00:23:52,168 --> 00:23:53,292
- No.
- Ruth.

378
00:23:53,352 --> 00:23:54,825
I've got to go, anyway.

379
00:23:54,888 --> 00:23:56,426
Eddie's getting back.

380
00:23:56,488 --> 00:23:58,223
Nobody's going to see anything.

381
00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,698
You take the picture.

382
00:23:59,752 --> 00:24:01,967
I'm not quite sure how to shoot.

383
00:24:03,432 --> 00:24:04,523
No, not yet. Wait.

384
00:24:04,584 --> 00:24:06,352
You've just taken
one of the table.

385
00:24:06,408 --> 00:24:08,208
Won't sell a lot of calendars.

386
00:24:08,264 --> 00:24:09,705
It's that button.

387
00:24:09,768 --> 00:24:11,274
Right.

388
00:24:13,192 --> 00:24:15,407
Can anyone see my nipples?

389
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,837
You would if it were your mum.

390
00:24:17,896 --> 00:24:19,217
Look, what's she done?

391
00:24:19,272 --> 00:24:22,928
Flicked through one jazz mag and
looked at a mucky calendar.

392
00:24:22,984 --> 00:24:25,199
That doesn't make her a lesbian.

393
00:24:27,688 --> 00:24:28,812
Hi, Jem.

394
00:24:32,488 --> 00:24:35,249
Your mother's just...

395
00:24:38,472 --> 00:24:41,550
Just go on upstairs
with your friend, okay?

396
00:25:02,824 --> 00:25:04,559
How was Ilkley?

397
00:25:04,616 --> 00:25:06,700
Hey, what are you doing up?

398
00:25:13,097 --> 00:25:14,123
How'd it go?

399
00:25:14,184 --> 00:25:16,301
Oh. You know.

400
00:25:16,360 --> 00:25:20,049
They're not a scintillating lot.
Carpet dealers.

401
00:25:20,104 --> 00:25:23,312
They only get excited
about bonded underlay.

402
00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:25,740
Coming to bed?

403
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,568
Aye. In a bit.

404
00:25:27,624 --> 00:25:29,840
Just having a wind-down.

405
00:25:50,056 --> 00:25:52,239
I've come for my photos.

406
00:25:52,297 --> 00:25:54,446
Can't find me little
receipt thingy.

407
00:25:54,504 --> 00:25:56,654
- The name's Har...
- Here they are.

408
00:25:56,712 --> 00:25:58,666
It's £4.99, please.

409
00:25:58,728 --> 00:25:59,950
Thank you.

410
00:26:02,601 --> 00:26:04,368
Keep the penny. Thank you.

411
00:26:13,609 --> 00:26:15,246
I'm surprised they printed it.

412
00:26:15,304 --> 00:26:17,104
It's probably on the Internet.

413
00:26:17,161 --> 00:26:19,955
From the sound of it, most
have seen it already.

414
00:26:22,184 --> 00:26:23,406
For God's sake.

415
00:26:23,465 --> 00:26:25,483
Lots of people have
their photos taken

416
00:26:25,545 --> 00:26:27,825
with their tops off
on holiday in Ibiza.

417
00:26:27,881 --> 00:26:30,446
I think it just probably
came as a slight shock.

418
00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:33,932
What with the previous 15 photos
being of flower arrangements.

419
00:26:34,633 --> 00:26:37,011
Oh, I've screwed up
again, haven't I?

420
00:26:37,065 --> 00:26:38,319
Yet again.

421
00:26:38,377 --> 00:26:40,243
Whoa, whoa.

422
00:26:40,297 --> 00:26:43,374
Look. What we have to ask
ourselves here is this.

423
00:26:43,433 --> 00:26:45,353
What is the difference
between this

424
00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:46,671
and the Venus De Milo?

425
00:26:46,728 --> 00:26:48,594
Oh, I love quizzes.

426
00:26:49,097 --> 00:26:50,418
The cooker?

427
00:26:50,472 --> 00:26:52,109
Celia.

428
00:26:52,169 --> 00:26:55,115
Both feature women with
their breasts exposed.

429
00:26:55,176 --> 00:26:57,555
What makes one a work of art?

430
00:26:57,609 --> 00:27:00,882
I think the answer to that
is very simple. An artist.

431
00:27:00,936 --> 00:27:02,606
She's clever.

432
00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:06,959
An artist.

433
00:27:16,648 --> 00:27:18,154
She's lovely.

434
00:27:18,216 --> 00:27:20,944
Lovely light you've
used on the face there.

435
00:27:21,001 --> 00:27:22,638
Really got her
eyes, didn't he?

436
00:27:22,697 --> 00:27:24,814
And all those curls.

437
00:27:28,713 --> 00:27:31,921
Have you photographed
humans, or is it mainly...

438
00:27:31,977 --> 00:27:34,574
'Tis mainly poodles.

439
00:27:34,632 --> 00:27:37,262
The blood represents
globalization.

440
00:27:37,321 --> 00:27:41,162
And the sheep's skull is
the death of democracy.

441
00:27:42,121 --> 00:27:43,375
And the carrot?

442
00:27:43,433 --> 00:27:45,746
The carrot is capitalism.

443
00:27:51,209 --> 00:27:52,365
Mainly orchids.

444
00:27:52,425 --> 00:27:56,014
I'm particularly interested
in woodland orchids.

445
00:27:56,073 --> 00:27:57,295
And butterflies.

446
00:27:57,353 --> 00:28:00,812
I love photographing
native butterflies.

447
00:28:00,873 --> 00:28:03,273
What exactly is your project?

448
00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:09,866
Hello, ladies.

449
00:28:16,937 --> 00:28:18,923
This is crazy.

450
00:28:18,985 --> 00:28:20,818
He won't remember.

451
00:28:20,873 --> 00:28:24,332
Must see thousands of people
come through here every day.

452
00:28:25,929 --> 00:28:27,980
Mrs. Clarke.

453
00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,197
John's wife.

454
00:28:29,257 --> 00:28:30,675
Yes.

455
00:28:30,729 --> 00:28:31,885
Hiya.

456
00:28:33,097 --> 00:28:34,483
Hiya.

457
00:28:40,649 --> 00:28:42,516
Are you serious?

458
00:28:42,569 --> 00:28:45,581
You got 12 women in
Skipton who are all

459
00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:47,987
committed to doing a
nude photo shoot?

460
00:28:48,042 --> 00:28:50,803
Well, technically,
we haven't got 12.

461
00:28:50,857 --> 00:28:54,000
So long as we can find
the right photographer.

462
00:29:05,129 --> 00:29:07,955
We've found the
right photographer.

463
00:29:09,258 --> 00:29:11,058
Are you going to commit to it?

464
00:29:11,945 --> 00:29:13,516
You are?

465
00:29:15,785 --> 00:29:16,811
Sorry.

466
00:29:18,409 --> 00:29:20,689
Don't think of it
as naked, Cora.

467
00:29:20,745 --> 00:29:22,163
It's not naked.

468
00:29:22,217 --> 00:29:23,570
It's nude.

469
00:29:24,297 --> 00:29:29,197
Annie, I am 55 years old.

470
00:29:30,153 --> 00:29:33,165
So, if I'm not gonna get
'em out now, when am I?

471
00:29:34,218 --> 00:29:35,309
Book!

472
00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:41,321
It's the showing-your-breasts
issue that concerns me.

473
00:29:41,386 --> 00:29:44,877
Well, I think the whole point
is that we don't properly.

474
00:29:44,937 --> 00:29:47,250
I know. That's
what concerns me.

475
00:29:49,674 --> 00:29:51,092
Yours are good, are they?

476
00:29:51,146 --> 00:29:53,066
They're tremendous.

477
00:29:54,057 --> 00:29:56,490
Jessie, we're getting
to the point now

478
00:29:56,554 --> 00:29:58,354
where we really need to commit.

479
00:29:58,410 --> 00:30:00,788
- Now, I know...
- No front bottoms.

480
00:30:00,842 --> 00:30:02,227
What?

481
00:30:02,281 --> 00:30:05,609
I mean, just as long as
it's no front bottoms.

482
00:30:05,673 --> 00:30:08,500
That's a sight I've reserved
for one man in my life.

483
00:30:08,553 --> 00:30:10,452
Do you think your
husband will mind?

484
00:30:10,505 --> 00:30:11,945
It wasn't my husband.

485
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:14,029
You've got a body
worth looking at.

486
00:30:14,089 --> 00:30:15,627
Just look at that parking.

487
00:30:15,690 --> 00:30:16,649
Ruth.

488
00:30:16,650 --> 00:30:20,338
Doesn't it annoy you when
people take two spaces?

489
00:30:20,394 --> 00:30:22,958
None of us have got a
body worth looking at.

490
00:30:23,018 --> 00:30:24,850
No, well, that's not...

491
00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:29,612
We're not all Chrises
in this life.

492
00:30:29,673 --> 00:30:31,627
Some of us are Ruths.

493
00:30:31,689 --> 00:30:32,748
I'm sorry.

494
00:30:34,825 --> 00:30:36,015
Ruth.

495
00:30:55,722 --> 00:30:59,214
Right. I did a bit of
thinking about this calendar.

496
00:31:00,777 --> 00:31:04,367
Okay, I think there's a
trick we could play here.

497
00:31:04,425 --> 00:31:05,384
At first glance,

498
00:31:05,385 --> 00:31:08,364
it should look like your
classic W.I. calendar.

499
00:31:08,426 --> 00:31:13,325
You know, all your jams,
cakes, sewing, and all that.

500
00:31:13,386 --> 00:31:15,568
You know, everything
you'd expect.

501
00:31:15,626 --> 00:31:19,053
Except for one tiny thing.

502
00:31:19,114 --> 00:31:23,436
The person doing it is naked.

503
00:31:33,866 --> 00:31:35,536
It's perfect, Lawrence.

504
00:31:35,593 --> 00:31:37,198
Really, it's perfect.

505
00:31:37,257 --> 00:31:40,236
A different girl
for every month.

506
00:31:40,297 --> 00:31:42,217
In a different guise.

507
00:31:42,282 --> 00:31:45,075
Painting. Press.

508
00:31:45,930 --> 00:31:49,869
Until December, when I thought
we could do a group photo of you

509
00:31:49,930 --> 00:31:51,436
singing a Christmas carol.

510
00:31:51,498 --> 00:31:53,550
- That's a great idea!
- Great!

511
00:31:53,610 --> 00:31:55,083
I like Father Christmas.

512
00:31:55,145 --> 00:31:56,400
- Yes!
- Fantastic.

513
00:31:56,457 --> 00:31:58,028
There's just one problem.

514
00:31:58,090 --> 00:31:59,049
What?

515
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:00,882
The photographer's a man.

516
00:32:00,938 --> 00:32:03,568
But the point is, we won't
be showing anything.

517
00:32:03,626 --> 00:32:05,426
In the photos.

518
00:32:05,482 --> 00:32:09,236
I imagine a considerable amount
will be on display in the room.

519
00:32:09,289 --> 00:32:10,577
That's a point.

520
00:32:10,634 --> 00:32:12,915
He'll have to be in the room.

521
00:32:12,970 --> 00:32:14,607
With us naked.

522
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:16,685
Yeah. Or nude.

523
00:32:16,746 --> 00:32:20,467
No, listen. An art photographer
doesn't see a naked woman.

524
00:32:20,522 --> 00:32:22,159
He sees a life model.

525
00:32:22,218 --> 00:32:24,979
Yes. No, the nudity
isn't important.

526
00:32:25,034 --> 00:32:27,412
Easy to say when you've
got your knickers on.

527
00:32:27,466 --> 00:32:30,161
He'll be looking at
us as an artist.

528
00:32:30,218 --> 00:32:32,433
- I've heard that one before.
- Have you?

529
00:32:32,490 --> 00:32:34,476
Look, he's not that
kind of bloke.

530
00:32:34,538 --> 00:32:36,011
I've heard that one before.

531
00:32:36,074 --> 00:32:37,743
Where is he?

532
00:32:44,586 --> 00:32:46,354
Lawrence?

533
00:32:52,746 --> 00:32:56,467
I mean, have you any idea
how intimidating it is

534
00:32:56,522 --> 00:32:59,087
to come in here in
front of you lot?

535
00:32:59,754 --> 00:33:02,962
How much it's taken that
young man to do that?

536
00:33:05,802 --> 00:33:07,308
We're not gonna go around

537
00:33:07,370 --> 00:33:10,611
parading ourselves in
a room full of men!

538
00:33:10,666 --> 00:33:13,296
This isn't France.

539
00:33:13,354 --> 00:33:15,504
For God's sake.

540
00:33:15,562 --> 00:33:20,211
Lawrence will set up the
photo, leave the room.

541
00:33:20,266 --> 00:33:22,482
Dressing gowns come off.

542
00:33:22,538 --> 00:33:25,484
And one of us will
click the shutter.

543
00:33:28,394 --> 00:33:29,999
Right.

544
00:33:30,058 --> 00:33:32,012
Lawrence?

545
00:33:35,882 --> 00:33:38,577
I think these girls got
something to say to you.

546
00:33:39,402 --> 00:33:40,361
Sorry.

547
00:33:40,362 --> 00:33:42,195
Sorry.

548
00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:46,964
* I will not cease
from mental fight *

549
00:33:47,018 --> 00:33:52,081
* Nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand *

550
00:33:52,138 --> 00:33:58,031
* Till we have built
Jerusalem *

551
00:33:58,090 --> 00:34:06,219
* In England's
green and pleasant land *

552
00:34:06,282 --> 00:34:07,788
Right.

553
00:34:07,850 --> 00:34:10,447
Has anyone any
activities planned

554
00:34:10,506 --> 00:34:13,300
we might want to
seek approval for

555
00:34:13,354 --> 00:34:15,820
at national conference?

556
00:34:15,882 --> 00:34:17,966
Oh, yes. Always wise.

557
00:34:18,027 --> 00:34:21,355
Wouldn't want to do anything
without approval from national.

558
00:34:21,418 --> 00:34:23,666
Not with Knapely being
such a proud W.I.

559
00:34:23,722 --> 00:34:25,676
With an unblemished reputation.

560
00:34:26,859 --> 00:34:29,456
Where it would take
only one small act

561
00:34:29,514 --> 00:34:31,795
by a few rogue individuals

562
00:34:31,850 --> 00:34:33,455
to ruin a reputation

563
00:34:33,514 --> 00:34:35,795
that we've spent
all these years...

564
00:34:35,851 --> 00:34:38,415
All right. All right.

565
00:34:38,474 --> 00:34:42,762
Look, we're planning a
calendar for John, everyone.

566
00:34:42,827 --> 00:34:44,048
Yeah.

567
00:34:44,106 --> 00:34:47,281
It's to raise money

568
00:34:47,338 --> 00:34:49,771
to buy something for
the relatives room

569
00:34:49,834 --> 00:34:53,162
in Knapely General.

570
00:34:55,403 --> 00:34:56,527
And?

571
00:34:57,035 --> 00:34:59,665
And with us on it.

572
00:34:59,722 --> 00:35:02,035
One for each month.

573
00:35:02,570 --> 00:35:04,240
And?

574
00:35:05,130 --> 00:35:06,516
Well.

575
00:35:08,170 --> 00:35:10,670
That's about it, really.

576
00:35:10,730 --> 00:35:11,789
Naked!

577
00:35:11,850 --> 00:35:12,942
Naked?

578
00:35:13,003 --> 00:35:15,316
Not naked. Nude.

579
00:35:15,371 --> 00:35:16,659
What's the difference?

580
00:35:16,714 --> 00:35:18,220
Art.

581
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:20,563
And seeing Marie's
raised the issue,

582
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:22,997
we're a good few months short.

583
00:35:23,563 --> 00:35:25,844
Is that not because
all this has the air

584
00:35:25,898 --> 00:35:28,430
of another one of
Chris' great ideas?

585
00:35:28,491 --> 00:35:31,568
Like the vodka-tasting night?

586
00:35:31,627 --> 00:35:35,086
No. Because I'm going to make
sure this one turns out okay.

587
00:35:35,146 --> 00:35:37,427
Because it's for John.

588
00:35:37,483 --> 00:35:39,087
It was inspired by John.

589
00:35:39,146 --> 00:35:42,093
And it's for John. And
it's because of John.

590
00:35:42,155 --> 00:35:45,265
And no matter what you
might think of the idea,

591
00:35:45,323 --> 00:35:46,992
you're looking at January.

592
00:35:50,123 --> 00:35:51,115
February.

593
00:35:52,747 --> 00:35:54,133
March.

594
00:35:58,378 --> 00:35:59,851
'April! 'April!

595
00:36:09,131 --> 00:36:12,524
Chris, do we have to make
any special preparations?

596
00:36:12,586 --> 00:36:13,678
Oh, no. No.

597
00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:16,171
These pictures are going
to be us as we come.

598
00:36:16,235 --> 00:36:17,194
Oh, God.

599
00:36:17,195 --> 00:36:18,930
Gray hair. Cellulite. The lot.

600
00:36:18,987 --> 00:36:20,046
- Oh, no.
- Oh.

601
00:36:20,106 --> 00:36:21,841
Remember. "The last phase...

602
00:36:21,899 --> 00:36:25,456
is the most glorious!"

603
00:36:26,635 --> 00:36:28,883
Do you have any
pictures of Rene Russo?

604
00:36:45,515 --> 00:36:47,469
- That's very good.
- Okay.

605
00:37:04,203 --> 00:37:05,873
A week?

606
00:37:06,443 --> 00:37:08,341
I know. But he's a client.

607
00:37:08,395 --> 00:37:11,723
He does this new
chain of hotels.

608
00:37:11,787 --> 00:37:13,904
Northern summat.

609
00:37:13,963 --> 00:37:15,698
Shall I come?

610
00:37:17,195 --> 00:37:18,154
What?

611
00:37:18,155 --> 00:37:20,022
Oh, save your sanity, love.

612
00:37:20,075 --> 00:37:21,908
You know, it's carpet.

613
00:37:21,963 --> 00:37:24,942
If I raced dragsters,
might be worth watching.

614
00:37:26,283 --> 00:37:27,953
I wanted to play next Wednesday.

615
00:37:28,043 --> 00:37:31,121
But I've got a bloody
corp meeting in Halifax.

616
00:37:32,203 --> 00:37:34,582
Oh, darling. Come on.

617
00:37:34,635 --> 00:37:35,988
Your hall's over there.

618
00:37:36,043 --> 00:37:37,549
I'm coming, Frank.

619
00:37:44,875 --> 00:37:48,116
T-minus two hours. Bras
off to avoid strap marks.

620
00:37:48,171 --> 00:37:50,800
As we speak, darling.
As we speak.

621
00:37:50,859 --> 00:37:52,812
Darling! Come on.

622
00:37:52,875 --> 00:37:54,293
Good girl.

623
00:38:25,163 --> 00:38:26,636
So, we're going to go?

624
00:38:26,699 --> 00:38:28,980
- We're going to go.
- That's the decision?

625
00:38:29,035 --> 00:38:30,225
That's the decision.

626
00:38:30,283 --> 00:38:34,157
We're going to go and tell
them we're not going to do it.

627
00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:04,213
I've never appeared nude in
front of anyone in my life.

628
00:39:04,267 --> 00:39:05,358
Not even Frank?

629
00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:06,511
Frank's a major.

630
00:39:06,571 --> 00:39:10,063
We approach nudity on a
strictly need-to-know basis.

631
00:39:10,124 --> 00:39:12,786
None of us have been
here before, love.

632
00:39:12,844 --> 00:39:14,284
I mean, for God's sake,

633
00:39:14,347 --> 00:39:18,003
my John didn't see me naked
until the spring of 1975.

634
00:39:18,059 --> 00:39:20,307
What happened in
the spring of '75?

635
00:39:20,363 --> 00:39:23,190
There was a lizard in the
shower block at Abergale.

636
00:39:25,228 --> 00:39:28,501
Quite a few people saw
me naked that morning.

637
00:40:16,460 --> 00:40:18,260
Oh, that's not fair.

638
00:40:19,467 --> 00:40:20,526
That's it.

639
00:40:21,227 --> 00:40:22,319
Right.

640
00:40:23,691 --> 00:40:25,229
Shit or bust.

641
00:40:25,292 --> 00:40:26,896
Shit or bust.

642
00:40:26,956 --> 00:40:28,210
All right, Lawrence.

643
00:40:28,268 --> 00:40:29,588
Ready when you are.

644
00:40:29,644 --> 00:40:31,564
- She's the first.
- You're up.

645
00:40:40,364 --> 00:40:42,350
They'll never go
through with it.

646
00:40:44,492 --> 00:40:46,292
I'll put it here.

647
00:40:46,348 --> 00:40:48,596
Ladies, just bring
the lamp up a bit.

648
00:40:48,651 --> 00:40:49,873
Raise the lamp for me.

649
00:40:49,932 --> 00:40:51,601
No, don't touch that. Don't.

650
00:40:52,332 --> 00:40:53,685
Okay?

651
00:40:53,740 --> 00:40:54,799
Right.

652
00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:56,333
Annie? Chris?

653
00:40:56,395 --> 00:40:59,025
- Can you clear frame for me?
- Okay, yeah.

654
00:41:01,836 --> 00:41:03,571
Okay. Celia.

655
00:41:03,628 --> 00:41:05,527
Just lean in toward
camera a bit.

656
00:41:05,579 --> 00:41:06,671
Right.

657
00:41:06,732 --> 00:41:07,691
Enough?

658
00:41:07,692 --> 00:41:09,492
Perfect.

659
00:41:18,028 --> 00:41:19,282
Okay.

660
00:41:19,340 --> 00:41:20,758
Ready.

661
00:41:25,612 --> 00:41:26,604
Okay.

662
00:41:30,891 --> 00:41:32,397
Lawrence...

663
00:41:32,459 --> 00:41:35,220
we're going to need
considerably bigger buns.

664
00:41:47,148 --> 00:41:49,297
Weren't the buns flat?

665
00:41:51,180 --> 00:41:53,646
No. Don't mess with the buns.

666
00:41:53,708 --> 00:41:55,923
I like them like this.
They cover more.

667
00:41:55,980 --> 00:41:58,774
No. Don't touch the composition.

668
00:41:58,828 --> 00:42:01,491
No, but, Lawrence. Were
the top buns flat?

669
00:42:01,548 --> 00:42:03,021
Flat.

670
00:42:03,084 --> 00:42:05,965
Yeah. But flat for
us or flat for her?

671
00:42:10,732 --> 00:42:14,125
Don't touch the buns.

672
00:42:15,788 --> 00:42:17,010
Please.

673
00:42:18,092 --> 00:42:19,412
Sorry.

674
00:42:22,604 --> 00:42:24,022
Bad girl.

675
00:42:24,972 --> 00:42:26,642
Bun toucher.

676
00:42:27,916 --> 00:42:29,836
She's got to look relaxed.

677
00:42:29,900 --> 00:42:31,984
I am bloody relaxed.

678
00:42:32,044 --> 00:42:33,233
She's got to smile.

679
00:42:33,292 --> 00:42:34,710
I am smiling.

680
00:42:34,764 --> 00:42:36,663
Not too much.

681
00:42:36,716 --> 00:42:39,957
I want it enigmatic.

682
00:42:40,012 --> 00:42:41,397
She looks like she's seen

683
00:42:41,452 --> 00:42:44,496
somebody she knows
in the distance.

684
00:42:45,900 --> 00:42:48,944
Left side up a little.

685
00:42:49,005 --> 00:42:51,438
Your right side down a little.

686
00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:53,104
And the middle section...

687
00:42:53,164 --> 00:42:56,208
For God's sake. Get bloody
Botticelli in here.

688
00:42:58,060 --> 00:42:59,980
- Lawrence.
- Hiya.

689
00:43:00,044 --> 00:43:01,615
Get in here.

690
00:43:08,301 --> 00:43:10,832
Chin down to your left.

691
00:43:13,036 --> 00:43:14,641
You look beautiful, Celia.

692
00:43:20,972 --> 00:43:22,773
Okay.

693
00:43:22,828 --> 00:43:24,301
We're away.

694
00:43:31,949 --> 00:43:34,775
I used to be in a
band in the '70s.

695
00:43:40,237 --> 00:43:41,525
Thank you.

696
00:43:43,628 --> 00:43:44,948
Yeah.

697
00:44:09,260 --> 00:44:12,566
Come on, Sugden. It's your
own time you're wasting.

698
00:44:12,621 --> 00:44:15,185
I was his junior school teacher.

699
00:44:16,876 --> 00:44:18,830
Oh, Jessie.

700
00:44:18,892 --> 00:44:21,358
What did we say
about relaxing him?

701
00:44:21,420 --> 00:44:23,569
What did she say
about relaxing him?!

702
00:45:04,012 --> 00:45:06,031
There's no e-flat
in "Jerusalem."

703
00:45:06,092 --> 00:45:09,006
I'll be disappointed if they're
looking at me fingers.

704
00:45:44,653 --> 00:45:45,941
All right.

705
00:45:49,197 --> 00:45:50,834
Are you doing this one?

706
00:45:53,293 --> 00:45:54,798
What's your name?

707
00:45:54,861 --> 00:45:56,563
Ruth.

708
00:45:57,485 --> 00:46:00,147
I'm Lawrence. Photographer.

709
00:46:03,885 --> 00:46:05,238
One minute.

710
00:46:13,549 --> 00:46:15,797
Lawrence. Lawrence,
who's next?

711
00:46:15,853 --> 00:46:16,879
Ruth.

712
00:46:16,941 --> 00:46:18,359
- Ruth?
- Ruth?

713
00:46:18,413 --> 00:46:19,602
Ruth?

714
00:46:19,661 --> 00:46:21,363
No. No, wait, Lawrence.

715
00:46:36,589 --> 00:46:39,054
Right. Let's do it.

716
00:46:56,013 --> 00:46:59,286
Could I have some privacy?

717
00:46:59,821 --> 00:47:02,254
- No.
- No.

718
00:47:02,317 --> 00:47:03,276
Off...

719
00:47:03,309 --> 00:47:06,135
Off! Off!

720
00:47:06,189 --> 00:47:08,720
Off! Off! Off!

721
00:47:16,877 --> 00:47:19,125
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

722
00:47:19,181 --> 00:47:22,541
* And a happy New Year *

723
00:47:40,813 --> 00:47:42,897
Congratulations.

724
00:47:42,957 --> 00:47:44,758
It's a calendar.

725
00:47:53,613 --> 00:47:55,927
Yes. Black and white
with just one color.

726
00:47:55,981 --> 00:47:58,164
Oh, I don't know.

727
00:47:58,222 --> 00:47:59,792
300.

728
00:48:00,973 --> 00:48:02,414
400.

729
00:48:02,477 --> 00:48:05,303
No, 500 copies.

730
00:48:05,357 --> 00:48:07,343
So how much would that be?

731
00:48:12,173 --> 00:48:14,737
Thank you. Get back to you.

732
00:48:14,798 --> 00:48:16,086
It's never that much.

733
00:48:16,141 --> 00:48:17,462
Well, it bloody is.

734
00:48:18,734 --> 00:48:21,112
We're looking for sponsorship.

735
00:48:21,166 --> 00:48:23,828
And my husband always
used your products.

736
00:48:23,886 --> 00:48:26,799
He worked for the
national parks.

737
00:48:26,862 --> 00:48:28,182
John Clarke?

738
00:48:28,238 --> 00:48:29,492
Yes. Yes. That's right.

739
00:48:29,550 --> 00:48:31,285
He died of leukemia.

740
00:48:31,341 --> 00:48:34,036
Aye, I know. I am sorry.

741
00:48:34,094 --> 00:48:35,053
Thank you.

742
00:48:35,054 --> 00:48:37,334
Well, what do you
need sponsorship for?

743
00:48:38,286 --> 00:48:39,704
Okay...

744
00:48:46,157 --> 00:48:47,347
We're getting there.

745
00:48:47,405 --> 00:48:49,751
But the sunflower needs
to leap out at you.

746
00:48:49,806 --> 00:48:51,159
More yellow.

747
00:48:51,214 --> 00:48:54,160
Quiet! Look, look. You
can't all be July.

748
00:48:54,221 --> 00:48:55,923
It's my birthday in July.

749
00:48:55,981 --> 00:48:59,059
My divorce came through in
March. I'd like September.

750
00:49:11,149 --> 00:49:12,108
Hi.

751
00:49:12,109 --> 00:49:15,055
I'm not disturbing you, am I?
I was just passing.

752
00:49:15,757 --> 00:49:17,525
Oh, I bought...

753
00:49:17,582 --> 00:49:19,414
They're nothing much.

754
00:49:19,470 --> 00:49:22,329
Oh, Marie, they're lovely.
Come on in.

755
00:49:28,750 --> 00:49:31,631
I never felt I really knew John.

756
00:49:32,590 --> 00:49:35,023
He worked for the
national park, didn't he?

757
00:49:35,086 --> 00:49:36,340
Mmh.

758
00:49:37,421 --> 00:49:39,156
Annie, if there's anything...

759
00:49:39,214 --> 00:49:40,567
These are beautiful.

760
00:49:40,622 --> 00:49:42,706
What are they? Are
they gerberas?

761
00:49:42,766 --> 00:49:43,726
Gorgeous.

762
00:49:45,453 --> 00:49:48,050
You should get away for a bit.
Have a holiday.

763
00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:50,609
Get out of Knapely.

764
00:49:50,670 --> 00:49:52,372
Are you trying to
get rid of me?

765
00:49:52,429 --> 00:49:54,000
No, no. I just...

766
00:49:55,405 --> 00:49:57,325
I feel I have to say something.

767
00:49:57,390 --> 00:49:59,408
More tea?

768
00:49:59,470 --> 00:50:00,659
No, no.

769
00:50:03,181 --> 00:50:06,389
I know how difficult things
must be for you at the moment.

770
00:50:06,446 --> 00:50:08,726
How you must be feeling.

771
00:50:08,782 --> 00:50:10,648
Do you?

772
00:50:11,373 --> 00:50:12,846
Oh, dear.

773
00:50:14,286 --> 00:50:16,664
Do you think John
would have approved?

774
00:50:16,718 --> 00:50:18,420
Really?

775
00:50:18,478 --> 00:50:20,693
You didn't know John, you say.

776
00:50:20,750 --> 00:50:23,282
No. But I know that
he was a good man.

777
00:50:23,341 --> 00:50:25,295
A decent man.

778
00:50:25,358 --> 00:50:28,304
If your concern is
for the reputation

779
00:50:28,366 --> 00:50:29,457
of Knapely W.I...

780
00:50:29,518 --> 00:50:31,798
No, that's not what I'm saying.

781
00:50:31,854 --> 00:50:36,240
Marie, The W.I. is
about doing good.

782
00:50:36,302 --> 00:50:39,859
And I think we have to ask
ourselves what does more good.

783
00:50:39,917 --> 00:50:44,402
Knowing more about broccoli one
week than we did the last?

784
00:50:44,461 --> 00:50:48,150
Or providing some comfort for
someone in the worst hours?

785
00:50:48,205 --> 00:50:50,322
Because that's what it's like.

786
00:50:50,382 --> 00:50:53,939
And, no, I don't think
you do know how I feel.

787
00:50:56,333 --> 00:50:57,872
Annie!

788
00:50:58,894 --> 00:51:00,880
Result!

789
00:51:00,942 --> 00:51:01,651
Oh.

790
00:51:01,710 --> 00:51:04,023
Oh, hello, Marie. Sorry.

791
00:51:04,078 --> 00:51:05,299
Were you...

792
00:51:06,446 --> 00:51:07,406
I don't know.

793
00:51:07,470 --> 00:51:09,205
Marie, had you finished?

794
00:51:09,838 --> 00:51:12,751
Put a penny in with those.
They'll last longer.

795
00:51:14,062 --> 00:51:15,088
Chris.

796
00:51:16,206 --> 00:51:17,362
What was that about?

797
00:51:17,422 --> 00:51:19,408
Don't ask. What's the result?

798
00:51:19,470 --> 00:51:21,173
I've got us a sponsor.

799
00:51:21,230 --> 00:51:22,387
What?!

800
00:51:22,446 --> 00:51:25,240
Pbbt! To those boring old
farts at Carmichael Seed.

801
00:51:25,294 --> 00:51:27,858
Say hello to the lovely
people at Jennings.

802
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:28,910
The beer?

803
00:51:28,973 --> 00:51:31,668
All our printing costs
and a press launch.

804
00:51:31,726 --> 00:51:36,626
All we have to do is put their
logo at the bottom of each page.

805
00:51:36,686 --> 00:51:40,047
The seed company made sense.
Because John loved flowers.

806
00:51:40,110 --> 00:51:42,129
But he never drank beer, Chris.

807
00:51:42,190 --> 00:51:43,249
You know that.

808
00:51:43,310 --> 00:51:45,776
It's not about the beer.
It's about the money.

809
00:51:57,742 --> 00:51:59,248
There it is.

810
00:51:59,310 --> 00:52:00,783
Well, have a look.

811
00:52:00,846 --> 00:52:02,614
Oh, it's beautiful.

812
00:52:09,774 --> 00:52:11,760
Hello, is this "The
Skipton News"?

813
00:52:11,822 --> 00:52:15,062
Could I speak to your
publicity person, please?

814
00:52:15,118 --> 00:52:16,853
I want to make an announcement.

815
00:52:16,910 --> 00:52:19,442
Sorry. Madam Chairman,
can I just...

816
00:52:19,502 --> 00:52:22,862
Madam Chairman. I'm sorry.
Sorry.

817
00:52:22,926 --> 00:52:24,280
It's Knapely.

818
00:52:24,334 --> 00:52:25,840
- Sorry?
- In Yorkshire.

819
00:52:25,902 --> 00:52:27,059
Oh, charming.

820
00:52:27,118 --> 00:52:29,945
I'm sorry to bother you in
the middle of conference.

821
00:52:29,998 --> 00:52:32,760
But there's an issue
come up at my W.I.

822
00:52:32,814 --> 00:52:35,030
which I feel duty-bound
to inform you of.

823
00:52:35,086 --> 00:52:37,552
Well, you'll have to be brief.
This way.

824
00:52:41,518 --> 00:52:43,417
Bastard!

825
00:52:43,470 --> 00:52:46,132
She wouldn't have
done it deliberately.

826
00:52:46,190 --> 00:52:47,663
I hate to use the word...

827
00:52:47,726 --> 00:52:49,265
- Well, don't, then.
- No.

828
00:52:49,326 --> 00:52:50,799
It might have slipped out.

829
00:52:50,862 --> 00:52:52,248
Yes. To Brenda Mooney.

830
00:52:52,302 --> 00:52:56,110
Who happens to be Madam Chairman
of the national W.I. Federation.

831
00:52:56,175 --> 00:52:57,593
Well, we could just...

832
00:52:57,647 --> 00:53:00,658
Marie has deliberately
poured poison down there.

833
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:01,810
Well, we'll just...

834
00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:03,573
What? Do what? Do what, Ruth?

835
00:53:03,630 --> 00:53:05,071
Please tell me.

836
00:53:05,134 --> 00:53:08,724
Seeing as 500 calendars are
being printed as we speak.

837
00:53:08,782 --> 00:53:11,281
If we can't use the name
"Women's Institute,"

838
00:53:11,342 --> 00:53:12,728
we just don't use it.

839
00:53:12,782 --> 00:53:14,615
If it's not the
Women's Institute,

840
00:53:14,671 --> 00:53:16,755
it's just a load of
middle-aged women

841
00:53:16,814 --> 00:53:20,087
mysteriously standing
naked behind fruitcakes.

842
00:53:23,278 --> 00:53:26,454
Oh, my God. It would
look like pornography.

843
00:53:31,982 --> 00:53:34,328
But I don't know what's
on the order form.

844
00:53:34,382 --> 00:53:37,841
Look, it's under the tin can
where the bent nail used to be.

845
00:53:37,903 --> 00:53:41,208
You're just gonna have to sort
this one out on your own.

846
00:53:41,262 --> 00:53:42,800
Why?

847
00:53:42,863 --> 00:53:44,183
Where the hell are you?

848
00:53:44,238 --> 00:53:45,776
Tell you later.

849
00:53:45,839 --> 00:53:49,079
I'll be back tonight for
the press conference. Bye.

850
00:53:51,759 --> 00:53:53,559
Oh, good!

851
00:53:53,615 --> 00:53:55,699
Chris Harper and Annie
Clarke from Knapely

852
00:53:55,758 --> 00:53:56,817
to see Brenda Mooney.

853
00:53:56,878 --> 00:53:58,166
You're official delegates?

854
00:53:58,223 --> 00:53:59,609
- No.
- Yes. From Knapely.

855
00:53:59,662 --> 00:54:01,463
Yes. From Knapely.

856
00:54:01,518 --> 00:54:03,024
And you're to do an open spot?

857
00:54:03,086 --> 00:54:04,178
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Yes.

858
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:05,560
All right. Follow me.

859
00:54:05,614 --> 00:54:07,055
We're in.

860
00:54:09,518 --> 00:54:11,897
What's an open spot?
Sounds painful.

861
00:54:11,951 --> 00:54:12,943
I don't know.

862
00:54:13,007 --> 00:54:15,025
Very last-minute. Have
to go on straightaway.

863
00:54:15,087 --> 00:54:17,203
- On where?
- Don't know.

864
00:54:18,446 --> 00:54:19,952
Which W.I. are you?

865
00:54:20,014 --> 00:54:21,073
We're from Knapely.

866
00:54:21,134 --> 00:54:22,520
An awful lot of them.

867
00:54:26,159 --> 00:54:28,592
Brenda... Mrs.... sorry.

868
00:54:28,654 --> 00:54:30,259
Madam Chairperson.

869
00:54:30,318 --> 00:54:31,923
Conference, please.

870
00:54:31,982 --> 00:54:33,303
Sorry? I beg Your pardon?

871
00:54:33,358 --> 00:54:35,988
Address the whole
conference, please.

872
00:54:46,959 --> 00:54:48,912
Come on. You can do it.

873
00:54:49,743 --> 00:54:52,918
The final open spot
of the morning

874
00:54:52,975 --> 00:54:54,874
is the delegate from Knapely.

875
00:54:54,926 --> 00:54:55,886
Knaperly-

876
00:54:55,951 --> 00:54:57,456
Knapely.

877
00:55:02,031 --> 00:55:03,220
I...

878
00:55:06,798 --> 00:55:09,046
We wanted to come

879
00:55:09,103 --> 00:55:13,654
to ask approval from...

880
00:55:15,086 --> 00:55:16,985
Well, from you all.

881
00:55:19,278 --> 00:55:23,829
We want to do a W.I. calendar

882
00:55:23,887 --> 00:55:28,753
which raises enough
money to buy

883
00:55:28,815 --> 00:55:30,998
a chair or a seat.

884
00:55:31,055 --> 00:55:32,822
A sofa.

885
00:55:32,879 --> 00:55:35,606
Or anything, really.

886
00:55:42,735 --> 00:55:43,989
Sorry.

887
00:55:51,119 --> 00:55:52,505
Okay, so...

888
00:55:52,559 --> 00:55:55,287
the thing is here is that

889
00:55:55,343 --> 00:55:59,992
the hospital local to us in
Knapely is where my John...

890
00:56:02,511 --> 00:56:03,897
Where...

891
00:56:07,727 --> 00:56:09,495
My husband...

892
00:56:16,335 --> 00:56:19,925
Thank you, Knapely. Best
of luck with the settee.

893
00:56:19,983 --> 00:56:21,336
No, no. Just hold on.

894
00:56:21,391 --> 00:56:23,442
Just hold on with
your red light.

895
00:56:23,503 --> 00:56:25,619
Sorry, does the other
member from Knapely

896
00:56:25,679 --> 00:56:27,065
want to say something?

897
00:56:27,119 --> 00:56:30,447
Yes. Because she's about
to commit heresy.

898
00:56:31,247 --> 00:56:32,720
Hello?

899
00:56:32,783 --> 00:56:34,867
Here we go.

900
00:56:34,927 --> 00:56:36,662
- Oh, God.
- Look...

901
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:38,803
I hate plum jam.

902
00:56:42,543 --> 00:56:45,205
I only joined the W.I.
to make my mother happy.

903
00:56:45,263 --> 00:56:46,901
I do. I hate plum jam.

904
00:56:46,959 --> 00:56:49,938
I'm crap at cakes.
I can't make sponge.

905
00:56:49,999 --> 00:56:54,004
Seeing as it's unlikely that
George Clooney would come

906
00:56:54,063 --> 00:56:57,784
to do a talk on "ER," there
seems very little reason

907
00:56:57,839 --> 00:57:00,272
for me to actually
stay in the W.I.

908
00:57:00,335 --> 00:57:05,398
Except suddenly
I want to raise money

909
00:57:05,455 --> 00:57:07,288
in memory of a man I loved.

910
00:57:07,344 --> 00:57:10,617
And I'm prepared to take me
clothes off for a W.I. calendar.

911
00:57:10,671 --> 00:57:12,057
And if you can't give us

912
00:57:12,111 --> 00:57:14,806
ten minutes of your
time, Madam Chairman,

913
00:57:14,863 --> 00:57:16,249
then, frankly, guys,

914
00:57:16,303 --> 00:57:18,616
I'm going to do it without
council approval.

915
00:57:18,671 --> 00:57:21,465
Because there are things
that are more important

916
00:57:21,519 --> 00:57:23,538
than council approval.

917
00:57:23,599 --> 00:57:27,440
And if it means that we
get closer to killing off

918
00:57:27,504 --> 00:57:31,476
this shitty, cheating, sly,

919
00:57:31,535 --> 00:57:34,230
conniving, bloody
disease that cancer is,

920
00:57:34,287 --> 00:57:35,444
oh, God, I tell you,

921
00:57:35,503 --> 00:57:38,678
I'd run around Skipton market
naked, smeared in plum jam,

922
00:57:38,735 --> 00:57:41,135
wearing nothing but a
tea cozy on me head

923
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:42,967
and singing "Jerusalem."

924
00:57:56,847 --> 00:57:59,128
Let's break.

925
00:57:59,184 --> 00:58:00,624
Ten minutes.

926
00:58:14,544 --> 00:58:16,595
We don't do nudity.

927
00:58:17,743 --> 00:58:20,024
But we do do charity.

928
00:58:20,079 --> 00:58:22,393
Can I assume this is
a local fund-raiser?

929
00:58:22,447 --> 00:58:25,208
You're not going to be
making too big of a hoo-ha?

930
00:58:25,263 --> 00:58:27,544
In which case, it's
a branch matter.

931
00:58:27,599 --> 00:58:29,498
And I can leave any decision

932
00:58:29,552 --> 00:58:32,858
in the hands of your
branch president.

933
00:58:32,911 --> 00:58:35,094
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

934
00:58:40,591 --> 00:58:42,675
Oh, sod it. Go on, then.

935
00:58:45,647 --> 00:58:47,317
Oh, God!

936
00:58:47,376 --> 00:58:49,492
Did you hear what she said?

937
00:58:54,704 --> 00:58:56,603
- "Evening News"?
- Done.

938
00:58:56,655 --> 00:58:59,155
- Did you invite "The Gazette"?
- Yes.

939
00:58:59,215 --> 00:59:01,463
So did I. We'll
have two of them.

940
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:02,938
Here we go.

941
00:59:02,992 --> 00:59:04,945
Thank you. Keep the change.

942
00:59:06,895 --> 00:59:08,565
Oh, my God! It's half past!

943
00:59:08,623 --> 00:59:10,543
Come on. The girls
will have done

944
00:59:10,608 --> 00:59:12,528
half the press
conference by now.

945
00:59:12,592 --> 00:59:14,491
Right. Where are we?

946
00:59:14,544 --> 00:59:16,497
I think it's down here.
Come on.

947
00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:21,561
Oh. Here we are.

948
00:59:31,536 --> 00:59:33,685
How many press releases
did I send out?

949
00:59:33,744 --> 00:59:37,333
How many soddin' press releases?

950
00:59:37,392 --> 00:59:40,185
Bloody local paper.

951
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:43,284
What bigger than this has
happened in Knapely tonight?

952
00:59:43,344 --> 00:59:45,722
Someone's grown a
U-shaped marrow.

953
00:59:49,135 --> 00:59:51,481
We're going to lose
money, aren't we?

954
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,001
Oh. Not only are we not
going to raise it,

955
00:59:55,055 --> 00:59:56,888
we're actually going to lose it.

956
00:59:58,096 --> 01:00:02,002
I suppose we did promise it
wouldn't be a big hoo-ha.

957
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:05,175
We tried.

958
01:00:05,232 --> 01:00:07,381
At least you made that speech.

959
01:00:08,624 --> 01:00:09,583
Yeah.

960
01:00:09,616 --> 01:00:11,798
Well, it's not enough, Annie.

961
01:00:14,448 --> 01:00:18,715
I'd rather not have tried than
to have to face Marie and say,

962
01:00:18,768 --> 01:00:22,096
"You were right. It was
another one of Chris' ideas."

963
01:00:24,752 --> 01:00:27,284
And what's worse. And
this is a good one.

964
01:00:27,344 --> 01:00:28,729
To add insult to injury,

965
01:00:28,784 --> 01:00:31,414
I took me clothes off and
no one was interested.

966
01:00:31,472 --> 01:00:32,978
You after the W.I. thing?

967
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:34,262
- Yes.
- Yes.

968
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:37,081
Had to spill over.
They're in ballroom.

969
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,717
I don't think it's
giving anything away

970
01:00:45,775 --> 01:00:47,478
to say we did have wine.

971
01:00:47,536 --> 01:00:48,726
Aah!

972
01:00:48,784 --> 01:00:50,519
- Chris!
- Celia!

973
01:02:04,272 --> 01:02:06,738
- Chris?
- Chris, could you take...

974
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:08,917
Ooh! Ooh!

975
01:02:08,976 --> 01:02:10,417
Chris! Chris!

976
01:02:14,224 --> 01:02:17,432
You're nude in "The
Telegraph," dear.

977
01:02:19,664 --> 01:02:22,261
Can you pass the bacon?

978
01:02:43,024 --> 01:02:44,662
Open up, Maya, love. Will you?

979
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,291
I have, Mum.

980
01:02:46,352 --> 01:02:47,793
We're full.

981
01:02:57,552 --> 01:02:59,767
One minute, the
dressing gown was on.

982
01:02:59,824 --> 01:03:02,618
And the next, it was
just me and the hat.

983
01:03:02,672 --> 01:03:05,018
I'm standing here in the
village of Knapely,

984
01:03:05,073 --> 01:03:06,513
where the Women's Institute

985
01:03:06,577 --> 01:03:09,272
has not only been raising
money but raising eyebrows

986
01:03:09,328 --> 01:03:11,227
by stripping for a
charity calendar.

987
01:03:11,281 --> 01:03:13,813
I'm thinking of taking
it up professionally.

988
01:03:13,872 --> 01:03:15,225
What's your family think?

989
01:03:15,281 --> 01:03:18,391
I was worried that my daughter
would be embarrassed.

990
01:03:18,449 --> 01:03:20,281
But she talked me into it.

991
01:03:20,336 --> 01:03:22,453
Any magazine offers?

992
01:03:23,024 --> 01:03:24,824
It's his village, is Knapely.

993
01:03:24,881 --> 01:03:27,413
The house he grew up in
was down Embsay Lane.

994
01:03:27,472 --> 01:03:29,818
And that church is
where we got married.

995
01:03:29,873 --> 01:03:32,121
Oh, hiya, Jessie!

996
01:03:32,176 --> 01:03:34,130
Okay. Sorry.

997
01:03:34,192 --> 01:03:35,480
Miss September.

998
01:03:35,537 --> 01:03:37,937
It's done me a world of good.

999
01:03:41,297 --> 01:03:43,578
So, Chris, what
gave you the idea?

1000
01:03:44,721 --> 01:03:46,041
Oh. Excuse me.

1001
01:03:48,529 --> 01:03:50,362
Hiya, dear.

1002
01:03:50,416 --> 01:03:53,395
I brought my journalists
to meet your journalists.

1003
01:03:54,096 --> 01:03:55,515
Hello.

1004
01:03:56,464 --> 01:04:00,185
To develop ideas
and to have...

1005
01:04:00,241 --> 01:04:01,430
You know, after all,

1006
01:04:01,489 --> 01:04:05,843
the W.I. is about education
and empowerment of women.

1007
01:04:05,905 --> 01:04:07,924
It's not just jam
and "Jerusalem."

1008
01:04:07,984 --> 01:04:10,516
The W.I. nude calendar?

1009
01:04:10,577 --> 01:04:12,530
No, love. Sorry.

1010
01:04:12,592 --> 01:04:16,150
But I definitely sent
you a batch of 50.

1011
01:04:16,209 --> 01:04:17,168
Look.

1012
01:04:17,201 --> 01:04:19,634
"Minstergate Bookshop.
York. 50."

1013
01:04:19,697 --> 01:04:20,821
And I got 'em, love.

1014
01:04:20,881 --> 01:04:22,932
And I put 'em out at 9:00.

1015
01:04:22,992 --> 01:04:25,819
And at 10 past 9:00,
we'd sold out.

1016
01:04:29,425 --> 01:04:30,745
Thanks very much.

1017
01:04:30,801 --> 01:04:32,721
Thank you!

1018
01:04:33,808 --> 01:04:35,129
Annie!

1019
01:04:36,401 --> 01:04:37,361
Annie!

1020
01:04:39,056 --> 01:04:41,621
We've got to order
more calendars.

1021
01:04:41,681 --> 01:04:43,929
We're down to the last 25.

1022
01:04:46,193 --> 01:04:47,578
What is it?

1023
01:04:47,633 --> 01:04:49,684
They were waiting for me.

1024
01:04:49,745 --> 01:04:50,737
Who?

1025
01:04:50,801 --> 01:04:52,339
When I got back.

1026
01:05:00,241 --> 01:05:03,416
Oh, my God.

1027
01:05:05,041 --> 01:05:06,841
Look at this, Chris.

1028
01:05:13,521 --> 01:05:14,939
It's happened to them.

1029
01:05:14,993 --> 01:05:17,011
Just like it's happened to me.

1030
01:05:17,713 --> 01:05:19,447
I'm going to help them.

1031
01:05:23,121 --> 01:05:25,074
"And your photo made me smile

1032
01:05:25,136 --> 01:05:28,247
for the first time in 15 months.

1033
01:05:28,305 --> 01:05:31,546
Now I smile whenever
I see the calendar."

1034
01:05:32,369 --> 01:05:35,729
"Thank you, girls, for
your bravery and beauty.

1035
01:05:35,793 --> 01:05:38,009
Best wishes, Vera Mason."

1036
01:05:38,065 --> 01:05:40,924
"It reminded me so of Arlene.

1037
01:05:40,977 --> 01:05:44,283
You seem to have the
same spirit she had.

1038
01:05:44,337 --> 01:05:48,058
She would have howled with
laughter at your photographs.

1039
01:05:48,113 --> 01:05:51,540
Thank you again. Looking
forward to the next."

1040
01:05:54,641 --> 01:05:56,955
"I'm currently in the
high-security wing

1041
01:05:57,009 --> 01:06:00,283
of Her Majesty's Prison
Barlinnie in Scotland

1042
01:06:00,337 --> 01:06:04,146
and was mightily impressed by
the sheer size of your..."

1043
01:06:08,561 --> 01:06:10,198
It's on! It's on!

1044
01:06:12,785 --> 01:06:14,771
Speaking to the instigator

1045
01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:17,812
of the world's first nude W.I.
calendar.

1046
01:06:17,873 --> 01:06:18,932
Chris Harper.

1047
01:06:18,994 --> 01:06:21,940
So, Chris, tell us how
it all came about.

1048
01:06:22,001 --> 01:06:26,289
You wouldn't associate the
Women's Institute with nudity.

1049
01:06:26,353 --> 01:06:29,147
No, no. The usual image
of the W.I. calendar

1050
01:06:29,202 --> 01:06:31,799
is of plums and jam
and country views.

1051
01:06:31,857 --> 01:06:34,258
We thought if glamour
photographers can do it

1052
01:06:34,321 --> 01:06:35,892
on a beach in Bangkok,

1053
01:06:35,953 --> 01:06:38,518
we could do it in a
church hall near Skipton.

1054
01:06:44,753 --> 01:06:46,259
Fantastic.

1055
01:06:46,322 --> 01:06:48,570
We feel fabulously!

1056
01:06:50,097 --> 01:06:52,345
I was trying to get in there.

1057
01:06:54,258 --> 01:06:56,440
Middle age didn't put
them off stripping.

1058
01:06:56,497 --> 01:06:59,224
Now these women are
hogging the headlines.

1059
01:06:59,281 --> 01:07:00,886
Chris Harper's behind it all.

1060
01:07:00,945 --> 01:07:04,567
Rather than fall back on the
usual twee landscape scenes,

1061
01:07:04,625 --> 01:07:06,741
she talked her friends
into posing nude

1062
01:07:06,801 --> 01:07:08,852
for their Women's
Institute calendar.

1063
01:07:08,914 --> 01:07:10,681
Not quite the jam
and "Jerusalem"

1064
01:07:10,737 --> 01:07:12,504
the ladies are
usually known for.

1065
01:07:12,561 --> 01:07:15,288
Chris says their husbands will
never look at their wives

1066
01:07:15,345 --> 01:07:16,666
in the same way again.

1067
01:07:16,721 --> 01:07:21,108
Neither will the other members
of this quiet little community.

1068
01:08:11,858 --> 01:08:13,014
Where are you going?

1069
01:08:13,074 --> 01:08:14,133
It's Thursday.

1070
01:08:14,194 --> 01:08:16,693
But you just got back
from the conference.

1071
01:08:16,754 --> 01:08:19,132
Eddie, I've got a
surprise for you.

1072
01:08:19,186 --> 01:08:21,172
I've had it.

1073
01:08:21,233 --> 01:08:24,889
I got it when someone in
the petrol queue said,

1074
01:08:24,946 --> 01:08:27,859
"Ain't this tart with her
tits out your wife?"

1075
01:08:34,417 --> 01:08:35,836
Eddie.

1076
01:08:37,074 --> 01:08:38,940
Eddie. I didn't
do it just to...

1077
01:08:38,994 --> 01:08:40,347
I just...

1078
01:08:40,658 --> 01:08:42,076
Eddie!

1079
01:08:48,978 --> 01:08:50,167
Burston wedding today.

1080
01:08:50,225 --> 01:08:51,317
Morning, Jem.

1081
01:08:51,378 --> 01:08:52,337
I'm Gaz.

1082
01:08:52,338 --> 01:08:54,292
And we've got another order.

1083
01:08:54,354 --> 01:08:57,081
It's a massive order, Chris.

1084
01:08:57,138 --> 01:08:58,676
Guy's coming 'round at 4:30.

1085
01:08:58,738 --> 01:09:00,822
Got a meeting.

1086
01:09:00,882 --> 01:09:03,228
- When are you back?
- Later. Bye.

1087
01:09:03,282 --> 01:09:04,951
When later?

1088
01:09:06,322 --> 01:09:07,959
Anyone seen Jem?

1089
01:09:12,370 --> 01:09:14,356
Normally more than one of you?

1090
01:09:15,697 --> 01:09:18,491
Aye. Sorry.

1091
01:09:18,546 --> 01:09:21,427
But my wife.

1092
01:09:21,490 --> 01:09:23,192
She's a bit busy at the moment.

1093
01:09:23,250 --> 01:09:24,341
Kids?

1094
01:09:24,402 --> 01:09:25,624
No.

1095
01:09:26,290 --> 01:09:30,098
It's some W.I. calendar
thing she's organized.

1096
01:09:30,162 --> 01:09:31,580
She's on a chat show.

1097
01:09:31,634 --> 01:09:33,467
Not the calendar.
The nude one?

1098
01:09:34,546 --> 01:09:35,505
Aye.

1099
01:09:35,538 --> 01:09:37,404
Well, we just bought one.

1100
01:09:37,458 --> 01:09:38,550
My wife came home.

1101
01:09:38,610 --> 01:09:40,825
Seriously. It's fantastic.

1102
01:09:40,882 --> 01:09:42,901
I'll tell her.

1103
01:09:42,962 --> 01:09:46,868
So, I've bought
flowers off mister.

1104
01:09:46,930 --> 01:09:48,762
Come on, then.
Which one is she?

1105
01:09:50,674 --> 01:09:52,180
January.

1106
01:09:52,786 --> 01:09:55,131
Suppose you're getting
sick of all this.

1107
01:09:55,186 --> 01:09:56,179
Aye.

1108
01:10:00,210 --> 01:10:02,774
Oi, give us some of that.

1109
01:10:08,818 --> 01:10:10,869
Thought I'd find you here.

1110
01:10:10,930 --> 01:10:12,348
You all right?

1111
01:10:14,322 --> 01:10:16,188
You got any money?

1112
01:10:16,242 --> 01:10:18,904
I mean, what is funny,
between you and me,

1113
01:10:18,962 --> 01:10:20,729
some of the blokes.

1114
01:10:20,786 --> 01:10:22,074
Frank.

1115
01:10:22,130 --> 01:10:25,371
His wife would hardly undress
in front of him before.

1116
01:10:25,426 --> 01:10:28,339
And now, apparently,

1117
01:10:28,402 --> 01:10:30,104
you know...

1118
01:10:34,226 --> 01:10:36,856
It's not had that
effect in our bedroom,

1119
01:10:36,914 --> 01:10:38,006
I can tell you.

1120
01:10:38,066 --> 01:10:39,539
Hardly see her.

1121
01:10:41,618 --> 01:10:43,321
Sorry. I can't resist this.

1122
01:10:43,378 --> 01:10:45,015
Mr. January.

1123
01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:46,678
You don't mind, do you?

1124
01:10:46,738 --> 01:10:50,327
Aye. As long as I don't have
to take me clothes off.

1125
01:10:54,163 --> 01:10:57,044
* I will not cease *

1126
01:10:57,106 --> 01:10:59,572
* From mental fight *

1127
01:10:59,634 --> 01:11:05,177
* Nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand *

1128
01:11:05,234 --> 01:11:11,126
* Till we have built
Jerusalem *

1129
01:11:11,187 --> 01:11:13,816
I'll tell you.
It's unbelievable.

1130
01:11:13,874 --> 01:11:15,543
Well, for the last two hours,

1131
01:11:15,602 --> 01:11:18,745
I have been
exchanging phone calls.

1132
01:11:19,954 --> 01:11:21,143
With Hollywood.

1133
01:11:21,202 --> 01:11:23,068
What?! The real one?

1134
01:11:23,122 --> 01:11:25,173
No, Celia. The chocolate one.

1135
01:11:25,235 --> 01:11:26,620
Yes. The real one.

1136
01:11:26,674 --> 01:11:28,507
From who?

1137
01:11:28,563 --> 01:11:31,160
From the studio of
a show with a man

1138
01:11:31,218 --> 01:11:32,724
whose name I've forgotten.

1139
01:11:32,786 --> 01:11:35,580
They're not coming all
the way from America.

1140
01:11:35,635 --> 01:11:37,053
No.

1141
01:11:37,107 --> 01:11:39,158
We're going to do
it on the phone?

1142
01:11:39,218 --> 01:11:39,961
No.

1143
01:11:40,018 --> 01:11:43,226
They only do
face-to-face interview.

1144
01:11:43,282 --> 01:11:46,806
But if they won't come here or
do it on the phone, how are...

1145
01:11:46,866 --> 01:11:48,186
Oh, my God.

1146
01:11:48,786 --> 01:11:50,586
Are we going to Hollywood?

1147
01:11:53,779 --> 01:11:56,179
NOW, you're joking?

1148
01:11:57,171 --> 01:12:00,248
Reynoldson. With a

1149
01:12:01,874 --> 01:12:03,828
Ohh, he's there.

1150
01:12:03,891 --> 01:12:05,080
Oh, please.

1151
01:12:05,139 --> 01:12:07,419
Could you put me
through to his room?

1152
01:12:13,075 --> 01:12:14,395
Eddie?

1153
01:12:25,011 --> 01:12:30,685
Your toilet was broken.
But I've fixed it now.

1154
01:12:32,242 --> 01:12:33,683
All right, lads.

1155
01:12:35,474 --> 01:12:36,915
Can I help you, officer?

1156
01:12:36,979 --> 01:12:39,740
You can put that joint
out for a start.

1157
01:12:46,259 --> 01:12:47,219
Hollywood?

1158
01:12:47,283 --> 01:12:50,458
Well, it's not for fun.
It's really important.

1159
01:12:50,515 --> 01:12:52,468
If we get on the
telly in America,

1160
01:12:52,531 --> 01:12:54,779
it's fantastic publicity.

1161
01:12:54,834 --> 01:12:57,595
I mean, just imagine.
The whole of America.

1162
01:12:59,699 --> 01:13:01,979
What about our business, Chris?

1163
01:13:02,035 --> 01:13:04,151
Or is that not important?

1164
01:13:13,491 --> 01:13:14,811
Can you get that?

1165
01:13:17,874 --> 01:13:19,893
I'm in a meeting.

1166
01:13:19,955 --> 01:13:22,235
Hello. Flower Power.

1167
01:13:25,394 --> 01:13:27,926
It won't be anything serious.

1168
01:13:27,987 --> 01:13:29,078
It'll be all right.

1169
01:13:30,771 --> 01:13:32,276
They're not charging him.

1170
01:13:32,339 --> 01:13:33,114
Why?

1171
01:13:33,171 --> 01:13:34,939
Is it not illegal, then?

1172
01:13:34,994 --> 01:13:36,053
Well, cannabis is.

1173
01:13:36,114 --> 01:13:39,322
But they tend not to worry
too much about oregano.

1174
01:13:39,379 --> 01:13:40,797
Right.

1175
01:13:40,851 --> 01:13:43,067
Right.

1176
01:13:43,123 --> 01:13:44,760
Oh, Jem.

1177
01:13:44,819 --> 01:13:47,067
You stupid...

1178
01:13:47,122 --> 01:13:49,370
Oh, thanks, Mum.

1179
01:13:49,427 --> 01:13:51,293
- Jem.
- It's all right.

1180
01:13:51,347 --> 01:13:53,398
We've already had
a father-and-son.

1181
01:13:53,459 --> 01:13:56,023
You've got to sign something
before we can go.

1182
01:13:56,083 --> 01:13:57,523
- Right.
- Jem!

1183
01:13:57,587 --> 01:13:59,932
Would you like to
come this way, madam?

1184
01:13:59,987 --> 01:14:01,558
Yes. All right.

1185
01:14:01,618 --> 01:14:03,899
Oh. Thanks.

1186
01:14:15,314 --> 01:14:16,274
Thanks very much.

1187
01:14:16,339 --> 01:14:17,812
- Good night.
- Good night.

1188
01:14:19,219 --> 01:14:21,980
Where is it? Where
the hell is it?

1189
01:14:22,034 --> 01:14:23,769
Passport.

1190
01:14:25,011 --> 01:14:27,772
I'm hoping they'll let me
in with a few calendars.

1191
01:14:27,827 --> 01:14:31,581
After we've been on the telly,
we might be able to shift a few.

1192
01:14:31,634 --> 01:14:32,594
Wait a minute.

1193
01:14:32,595 --> 01:14:35,094
The holidays are all
different there.

1194
01:14:35,155 --> 01:14:36,923
Maybe we'll have
to do a reprint.

1195
01:14:36,979 --> 01:14:39,773
You know. The
American version.

1196
01:14:40,467 --> 01:14:41,973
So...

1197
01:14:42,035 --> 01:14:44,829
Your son's been arrested.

1198
01:14:45,907 --> 01:14:47,740
Yes, I know.

1199
01:14:47,795 --> 01:14:51,003
And released, Annie. With
10 grams of oregano.

1200
01:14:51,059 --> 01:14:54,038
The only thing that'd be
dangerous in is a quiche.

1201
01:14:54,707 --> 01:14:57,053
But he thought it
was drugs, Chris.

1202
01:14:58,323 --> 01:15:00,222
Do you want to stay?

1203
01:15:01,203 --> 01:15:02,905
Find out why?

1204
01:15:05,555 --> 01:15:08,349
Well, yes. I mean, I do,
obviously. But...

1205
01:15:10,419 --> 01:15:13,497
Well, the woman in the
studio contacted me, Annie.

1206
01:15:13,555 --> 01:15:14,647
I'm one who...

1207
01:15:14,707 --> 01:15:17,337
Chris. Chris, we can cope.

1208
01:15:18,547 --> 01:15:19,802
We're big girls.

1209
01:15:21,299 --> 01:15:23,448
Particularly Celia.

1210
01:15:56,052 --> 01:15:57,012
Hello.

1211
01:15:58,707 --> 01:16:02,493
I was wondering if you could
quote me for some carpet.

1212
01:16:04,179 --> 01:16:06,198
You do sell carpets?

1213
01:16:06,995 --> 01:16:09,308
You are the owner of
a carpet warehouse?

1214
01:16:09,363 --> 01:16:11,000
Sorry. I'm with someone.

1215
01:16:11,060 --> 01:16:14,038
I know. My husband.

1216
01:16:17,587 --> 01:16:19,867
I just came to Ilkley

1217
01:16:19,923 --> 01:16:22,651
to see what I wasn't
as good as.

1218
01:16:23,892 --> 01:16:26,205
Okay. Well, you've
done that now.

1219
01:16:28,436 --> 01:16:32,058
He told me you were the manager
of a carpet warehouse.

1220
01:16:32,915 --> 01:16:34,421
Told me you were dead.

1221
01:16:37,684 --> 01:16:39,604
I think maybe I have been.

1222
01:16:40,468 --> 01:16:42,814
You are looking good, baby.

1223
01:16:42,867 --> 01:16:45,050
Sorry?

1224
01:16:45,108 --> 01:16:47,869
Which one of us are you
talking about, Eddie?

1225
01:16:47,923 --> 01:16:50,324
The one that makes
a tart of herself?

1226
01:16:50,387 --> 01:16:51,828
Or me?

1227
01:16:52,403 --> 01:16:53,974
Sod off.

1228
01:16:54,035 --> 01:16:55,062
Eddie.

1229
01:16:55,124 --> 01:16:56,083
No, no.

1230
01:16:56,084 --> 01:16:58,845
You stay and enjoy yourselves.

1231
01:16:58,900 --> 01:17:00,853
I'm off to Hollywood.

1232
01:17:03,891 --> 01:17:05,430
Eddie.

1233
01:17:08,948 --> 01:17:10,617
Sorry I'm late.

1234
01:17:10,676 --> 01:17:12,825
Frank was so slow.

1235
01:17:12,883 --> 01:17:15,797
Bloody hell, Celia.
How many frocks?

1236
01:17:15,859 --> 01:17:17,398
And you'll be flooded out.

1237
01:17:17,459 --> 01:17:21,049
And if anything goes wrong,
phone your Auntie Syl.

1238
01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:24,827
Aren't you gonna say, "Don't
do anything I wouldn't do?"

1239
01:17:24,884 --> 01:17:26,838
You already have, Mum.

1240
01:17:26,900 --> 01:17:27,959
Right, everyone.

1241
01:17:28,019 --> 01:17:29,492
Has everyone got a ticket?

1242
01:17:29,555 --> 01:17:31,061
Yes.

1243
01:17:31,123 --> 01:17:31,767
A passport?

1244
01:17:31,827 --> 01:17:33,082
Yes.

1245
01:17:33,139 --> 01:17:35,256
A lying snake for a husband?

1246
01:17:36,563 --> 01:17:39,225
No? Only me there, then.

1247
01:17:39,284 --> 01:17:40,408
Let's go.

1248
01:17:45,011 --> 01:17:48,885
Hollywood, please. On
your shiniest plane.

1249
01:17:52,756 --> 01:17:55,069
Sorry. You've come
to the wrong desk.

1250
01:17:55,124 --> 01:17:56,793
- What?
- What?

1251
01:17:59,892 --> 01:18:01,692
I have asked four people.

1252
01:18:01,748 --> 01:18:05,534
Each of them said we could check
in for a flight at any desks.

1253
01:18:05,588 --> 01:18:08,501
We have queued for 20
minutes in the only queue.

1254
01:18:08,564 --> 01:18:09,720
And we were directed

1255
01:18:09,780 --> 01:18:11,646
to your desk by your
representative.

1256
01:18:11,700 --> 01:18:14,526
Where precisely
have we gone wrong?

1257
01:18:14,580 --> 01:18:16,479
There was no need
to queue, madam.

1258
01:18:16,531 --> 01:18:19,575
You're all flying upper-class.
You've been upgraded.

1259
01:18:19,636 --> 01:18:21,371
- First class!
- First class!

1260
01:18:21,427 --> 01:18:23,326
First class!

1261
01:18:24,340 --> 01:18:26,140
I can check you
in if you like.

1262
01:18:26,196 --> 01:18:27,734
- Thank you.
- Thank you, dear.

1263
01:18:27,795 --> 01:18:30,556
What a nice girl. I knew
she was a nice girl.

1264
01:18:34,292 --> 01:18:36,670
Celia, press the white
button on the right.

1265
01:18:36,724 --> 01:18:38,262
I am doing it.

1266
01:18:38,324 --> 01:18:40,440
- It's coming down.
- On the right?

1267
01:18:40,500 --> 01:18:41,460
Whoo-hoo!

1268
01:18:41,524 --> 01:18:42,778
- What?
- Bye-bye.

1269
01:18:42,836 --> 01:18:44,025
Cheerio.

1270
01:18:44,084 --> 01:18:46,135
I'm going right
under you, Celia.

1271
01:18:46,196 --> 01:18:47,865
Bye-bye.

1272
01:18:47,924 --> 01:18:50,357
Annie, I'm right underneath you.

1273
01:18:50,420 --> 01:18:53,017
I've got my foot stuck now.
Ow!

1274
01:20:06,036 --> 01:20:07,935
Where are we, Cora?

1275
01:20:07,988 --> 01:20:10,683
- Hey, this is Sunset Strip!
- No!

1276
01:20:18,645 --> 01:20:20,543
Cheerio, girls.
I'll see you later.

1277
01:20:20,596 --> 01:20:21,622
What are you doing?

1278
01:20:21,684 --> 01:20:24,510
- I'm going up.
- Be careful!

1279
01:20:24,564 --> 01:20:26,266
It's lovely. Come on.

1280
01:20:28,341 --> 01:20:30,741
Hey, how you doing?!

1281
01:20:30,804 --> 01:20:33,237
Hollywood! We're here!

1282
01:20:33,300 --> 01:20:35,384
Get down! Stop messing about.

1283
01:20:50,292 --> 01:20:52,125
Good afternoon, ladies.

1284
01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:54,134
Thank you, Ashley.
I'll handle this.

1285
01:20:54,196 --> 01:20:56,575
Good afternoon. Welcome
to Los Angeles.

1286
01:20:56,628 --> 01:21:00,153
- This is our first time here.
- Is that right?

1287
01:21:00,212 --> 01:21:01,686
Clarke. Name's Clarke.

1288
01:21:01,748 --> 01:21:03,581
Mrs. Clarke.

1289
01:21:03,636 --> 01:21:06,201
Or should I call
you Miss February?

1290
01:21:07,189 --> 01:21:09,851
I saw your picture in
the paper this morning.

1291
01:21:10,804 --> 01:21:12,409
In an American paper.

1292
01:21:13,428 --> 01:21:14,388
Thank you, ma'am.

1293
01:21:14,452 --> 01:21:15,412
It's all right.

1294
01:21:15,477 --> 01:21:18,303
I'll just talk you through
the facilities, okay?

1295
01:21:18,357 --> 01:21:19,000
Right.

1296
01:21:19,061 --> 01:21:20,119
All right, now.

1297
01:21:20,181 --> 01:21:23,389
There are two televisions.
One on each end.

1298
01:21:23,444 --> 01:21:26,074
Both of which have cable
TV, Internet access,

1299
01:21:26,133 --> 01:21:27,322
and Movies on Demand.

1300
01:21:27,380 --> 01:21:29,781
Now, there is also
a full bar here.

1301
01:21:29,844 --> 01:21:31,350
But if you need anything,

1302
01:21:31,412 --> 01:21:34,107
don't hesitate to
call downstairs.

1303
01:21:34,165 --> 01:21:36,085
Is everything okay, ma'am?

1304
01:21:36,149 --> 01:21:39,008
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine.
It's just I'm a bit tired.

1305
01:21:39,060 --> 01:21:41,341
I'd like to go to my
room now, really.

1306
01:21:41,397 --> 01:21:43,579
This is the hotel's
master suite, ma'am.

1307
01:21:43,636 --> 01:21:45,851
This is your room.

1308
01:21:49,716 --> 01:21:52,990
Come on, I'll show you
downstairs. It's beautiful.

1309
01:22:03,956 --> 01:22:05,823
Have you been in your bathroom?

1310
01:22:05,876 --> 01:22:07,960
Me too! I'm in the bath!

1311
01:22:08,021 --> 01:22:10,236
The bubbles. They're
Christian Dior.

1312
01:22:10,293 --> 01:22:12,541
The bath bubbles!
They're Christian Dior!

1313
01:22:12,596 --> 01:22:14,997
Do you think they'll
charge us for it?

1314
01:22:15,060 --> 01:22:17,177
Oh! I hope not!

1315
01:22:45,236 --> 01:22:46,742
Oh, yes.

1316
01:22:46,804 --> 01:22:48,190
Nice! Good!

1317
01:22:48,245 --> 01:22:50,078
And then into the limo.

1318
01:22:50,132 --> 01:22:51,867
Into the limo we all...

1319
01:22:51,925 --> 01:22:53,245
That was very good.

1320
01:22:53,301 --> 01:22:55,679
Let me have a shot with
you and the girls.

1321
01:22:55,733 --> 01:22:57,403
- No, no.
- Oh, come on!

1322
01:22:57,460 --> 01:22:58,966
- No, no.
- Come on, come on.

1323
01:22:59,028 --> 01:23:00,599
Give him a kiss.

1324
01:23:00,661 --> 01:23:03,388
British women are
taking me hostage.

1325
01:23:03,445 --> 01:23:06,042
British women have
taken him hostage.

1326
01:23:07,541 --> 01:23:08,500
Right!

1327
01:23:10,197 --> 01:23:11,866
What are we doing first, then?

1328
01:23:11,925 --> 01:23:14,009
- Chris!
- Chris!

1329
01:23:14,069 --> 01:23:16,863
Oh, Chris! We never
expected you!

1330
01:23:16,917 --> 01:23:19,743
Oh, you look gorgeous!

1331
01:23:21,525 --> 01:23:23,194
I'm very excited!

1332
01:23:23,253 --> 01:23:26,079
Oh, you look wonderful!

1333
01:23:27,445 --> 01:23:28,536
Look at you.

1334
01:23:28,597 --> 01:23:29,885
And look...

1335
01:23:45,333 --> 01:23:46,970
You're lovely!

1336
01:23:47,029 --> 01:23:49,528
That's fantastic!

1337
01:23:50,517 --> 01:23:52,186
Ha ha! Great, ladies!

1338
01:23:52,245 --> 01:23:54,558
Okay, we got another
section coming up.

1339
01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:56,053
- Thank you very much!
- Hey!

1340
01:23:56,117 --> 01:23:56,859
Bye-bye!

1341
01:23:56,917 --> 01:23:58,336
- Hold it, guys.
- Thank you!

1342
01:23:58,388 --> 01:24:00,189
Ladies, please!
Ladies, please!

1343
01:24:00,245 --> 01:24:03,421
We got a whole new section
to do here! Come on!

1344
01:24:03,477 --> 01:24:05,790
Come on, ladies.

1345
01:24:05,845 --> 01:24:07,318
Ooh, it's freezing!

1346
01:24:07,380 --> 01:24:09,247
Stay home. Relax.
Grow a beard.

1347
01:24:09,300 --> 01:24:11,287
Pretty girls. And just drink.

1348
01:24:11,349 --> 01:24:12,986
That's all I want to do.

1349
01:24:19,605 --> 01:24:20,959
Four pages, Annie.

1350
01:24:21,013 --> 01:24:24,406
The cover page and four pages
about how I don't give him sex.

1351
01:24:24,469 --> 01:24:27,098
Oh. I just had to get away.

1352
01:24:27,157 --> 01:24:30,998
I mean, the press will
be all over it by now.

1353
01:24:31,061 --> 01:24:34,171
So Rod's having to deal with
all that on his own, then?

1354
01:24:35,189 --> 01:24:37,786
Well, him and Jem.

1355
01:24:39,125 --> 01:24:42,747
Slightly out of character,
don't you think, for Rod?

1356
01:24:42,805 --> 01:24:44,921
Saying all that?

1357
01:24:44,981 --> 01:24:47,130
Did he get tricked into it?

1358
01:24:48,437 --> 01:24:50,870
Did you stay to find out?

1359
01:24:51,733 --> 01:24:54,167
Or by that time, was
there a taxi waiting?

1360
01:24:56,149 --> 01:24:57,567
Are you all right?

1361
01:24:57,621 --> 01:25:00,021
Oh, yeah. Fine.

1362
01:25:00,085 --> 01:25:01,503
Annie. Chris.

1363
01:25:01,557 --> 01:25:03,194
This is Frank,
Scott, and John.

1364
01:25:03,253 --> 01:25:05,337
They're in a band
called Anthrax.

1365
01:25:05,397 --> 01:25:06,356
Hello.

1366
01:25:06,357 --> 01:25:08,157
We've heard so much about you.

1367
01:25:08,214 --> 01:25:10,298
We're impressed with
what you're doing.

1368
01:25:10,357 --> 01:25:11,383
It is a great story.

1369
01:25:11,446 --> 01:25:14,207
Afraid we haven't heard
anything about you.

1370
01:25:14,261 --> 01:25:15,483
Yes, I have, actually.

1371
01:25:15,541 --> 01:25:18,749
So have you had a think
about that, then?

1372
01:25:18,870 --> 01:25:20,288
Yes.

1373
01:25:20,341 --> 01:25:23,614
Well, yes. It would be
in that ballpark, yes.

1374
01:25:25,109 --> 01:25:26,135
Well, you know what?

1375
01:25:26,198 --> 01:25:29,340
Let me talk with my associates.
I'll get back to you.

1376
01:25:29,397 --> 01:25:30,619
Okay. Bye.

1377
01:25:30,677 --> 01:25:32,631
- Thank you.
- Who was that?

1378
01:25:32,693 --> 01:25:35,705
Very exciting. Very exciting.

1379
01:25:35,765 --> 01:25:38,646
I'll tell you in makeup.
We're dead close to a deal.

1380
01:25:38,709 --> 01:25:39,582
Oh, that's him.

1381
01:25:39,638 --> 01:25:42,748
By the way, is it Leen-o
or Len-o? Do we know?

1382
01:25:42,805 --> 01:25:44,824
- Len-o.
- Are you sure?

1383
01:25:44,886 --> 01:25:45,845
No, it's Lee-no.

1384
01:25:45,846 --> 01:25:47,286
Len-o.

1385
01:25:47,349 --> 01:25:50,143
Not only will they sponsor
the calendar in America

1386
01:25:50,198 --> 01:25:52,118
to the tune of $30,000.

1387
01:25:52,181 --> 01:25:54,014
But guess who will
be in the studio

1388
01:25:54,069 --> 01:25:56,830
next to the one we're going
to shoot the advert in.

1389
01:25:56,885 --> 01:25:58,271
What?

1390
01:25:58,326 --> 01:26:00,442
Guess who will be
filming in the studio

1391
01:26:00,502 --> 01:26:02,618
next to the one we're
shooting the advert in.

1392
01:26:02,678 --> 01:26:03,932
Advert?

1393
01:26:03,990 --> 01:26:07,165
They sponsor us. We do their
advert for washing powder.

1394
01:26:07,222 --> 01:26:08,608
That's how it works.

1395
01:26:08,661 --> 01:26:11,007
George Clooney.

1396
01:26:11,062 --> 01:26:14,008
Can I have it straight,
like Jennifer Aniston?

1397
01:26:14,069 --> 01:26:15,542
You know. In "Friends."

1398
01:26:15,606 --> 01:26:18,138
Why would I dye just
part of my head?

1399
01:26:18,197 --> 01:26:20,216
It doesn't make any sense.

1400
01:26:21,014 --> 01:26:22,683
I do not dye my hair.

1401
01:26:22,741 --> 01:26:24,476
You may have heard
about my guests.

1402
01:26:24,533 --> 01:26:26,716
They went from
living a quiet life

1403
01:26:26,774 --> 01:26:28,345
in a small British farm town

1404
01:26:28,405 --> 01:26:30,325
to becoming nude calendar girls.

1405
01:26:30,389 --> 01:26:32,222
They're here to
tell us the story.

1406
01:26:32,278 --> 01:26:33,882
This is the calendar.

1407
01:26:33,942 --> 01:26:37,368
Please welcome from Knapely,
England, the calendar girls.

1408
01:26:37,430 --> 01:26:39,612
Come on out here.

1409
01:26:42,165 --> 01:26:44,085
Hello, girls. How are you?

1410
01:26:44,150 --> 01:26:46,747
How are you, girls?
Good to see you.

1411
01:26:46,805 --> 01:26:49,053
Nice to see you. Have a seat.

1412
01:26:51,318 --> 01:26:54,013
Oh, just sit anywhere.

1413
01:26:54,069 --> 01:26:54,779
I'm curious.

1414
01:26:54,837 --> 01:26:57,500
Have you girls been
strippers all your lives?

1415
01:26:57,557 --> 01:26:59,259
We're not strippers.

1416
01:26:59,318 --> 01:27:01,151
Now, did you get
drunk beforehand?

1417
01:27:01,205 --> 01:27:03,322
It's no big deal, you know?

1418
01:27:03,381 --> 01:27:05,335
We've all got the same bits.

1419
01:27:05,397 --> 01:27:07,384
The same bits? Yeah. Yeah.

1420
01:27:07,446 --> 01:27:10,141
They're just different sizes.

1421
01:27:10,197 --> 01:27:13,624
Can I have some of
them rice things?

1422
01:27:13,685 --> 01:27:15,901
- It's called sushi.
- I know.

1423
01:27:15,957 --> 01:27:18,816
It's all suggestive,
really, isn't it?

1424
01:27:18,870 --> 01:27:21,085
I could make a few
suggestions, yeah.

1425
01:27:21,142 --> 01:27:22,975
Well, ladies, it's fascinating.

1426
01:27:23,029 --> 01:27:24,666
Good luck with your work.

1427
01:27:24,726 --> 01:27:27,705
And if you wouldn't just try
to encourage more women

1428
01:27:27,766 --> 01:27:29,785
to get naked, I think...

1429
01:27:29,845 --> 01:27:32,889
Well, thank you very much.
The ladies from Knapely.

1430
01:27:36,117 --> 01:27:39,773
I think we do have to work
some kind of order out.

1431
01:27:39,830 --> 01:27:43,616
'Cause far too much of that, you
couldn't hear what was said.

1432
01:27:43,670 --> 01:27:44,991
Annie?

1433
01:27:45,974 --> 01:27:47,327
Annie?

1434
01:27:49,301 --> 01:27:50,807
What are you doing?

1435
01:27:51,798 --> 01:27:53,271
You missed it.

1436
01:27:55,222 --> 01:27:58,495
We were just on television. The
whole reason we came here.

1437
01:27:58,550 --> 01:28:01,179
I thought that was to get
away from the press.

1438
01:28:22,902 --> 01:28:24,342
Hello?

1439
01:28:26,262 --> 01:28:27,800
Hello?

1440
01:28:29,494 --> 01:28:31,578
Is there anyone there?

1441
01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:38,807
Ah! There they are!

1442
01:28:38,870 --> 01:28:41,215
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

1443
01:28:41,270 --> 01:28:44,314
Welcome, ladies.
How are we today?

1444
01:28:44,374 --> 01:28:45,333
Fine.

1445
01:28:45,334 --> 01:28:46,971
Fantastic. Fabulenda.

1446
01:28:47,030 --> 01:28:49,376
My name is Danny.
I'm the director.

1447
01:28:49,430 --> 01:28:52,572
And which one of you is Chris?

1448
01:28:52,630 --> 01:28:54,016
You are. You're Chris.

1449
01:28:54,070 --> 01:28:56,056
- Yeah.
- Ooh! Hi!

1450
01:28:56,118 --> 01:28:57,077
Hi.

1451
01:28:57,110 --> 01:28:59,543
Exciting, hmm? Yeah, yeah.

1452
01:28:59,606 --> 01:29:02,236
Okay, now. Just to let
you know what I've done.

1453
01:29:02,294 --> 01:29:06,299
Have cleared the
studio of excess men.

1454
01:29:06,358 --> 01:29:07,547
That's a shame.

1455
01:29:07,606 --> 01:29:10,618
No. I mean I didn't want you
to be walking around naked

1456
01:29:10,678 --> 01:29:12,478
in front of a bunch of guys.

1457
01:29:12,534 --> 01:29:14,912
Sorry?

1458
01:29:14,966 --> 01:29:17,279
We're doing the washing
powder, right?

1459
01:29:17,334 --> 01:29:19,549
Hanging the washing on the line?

1460
01:29:21,206 --> 01:29:24,032
And naked behind.

1461
01:29:24,086 --> 01:29:26,847
I mean, there's not a problem
with that, is there?

1462
01:29:26,902 --> 01:29:29,664
It is what you girls
do, isn't it?

1463
01:29:32,598 --> 01:29:35,261
- Yeah.
- Yes. Great.

1464
01:29:53,558 --> 01:29:55,457
No. Not now. I'm working.

1465
01:29:55,510 --> 01:29:56,928
GO, go, go'

1466
01:29:57,975 --> 01:29:59,448
Great! Beautiful!

1467
01:29:59,510 --> 01:30:01,529
I love this.

1468
01:30:03,318 --> 01:30:04,672
Ladies.

1469
01:30:04,726 --> 01:30:07,705
The time is now.

1470
01:30:10,070 --> 01:30:12,187
Roxanne. Carol. Hi, hi.

1471
01:30:12,246 --> 01:30:13,567
Nice to see you.

1472
01:30:13,622 --> 01:30:16,023
Nice to see you.
What do you think?

1473
01:30:16,086 --> 01:30:17,723
It's looking great, isn't it?

1474
01:30:17,783 --> 01:30:19,168
Thank you very much.

1475
01:30:19,222 --> 01:30:22,844
- Is the agency happy?
- We are.

1476
01:30:22,902 --> 01:30:24,342
Thank you.

1477
01:30:24,407 --> 01:30:26,207
Hey, sweetie. What's going on?

1478
01:30:26,262 --> 01:30:27,736
Annie.

1479
01:30:29,047 --> 01:30:30,967
We'll be just a moment.

1480
01:30:31,030 --> 01:30:32,121
Annie.

1481
01:30:35,542 --> 01:30:36,863
Annie.

1482
01:30:36,918 --> 01:30:39,352
Now, Annie, this is
for the calendar.

1483
01:30:39,415 --> 01:30:40,833
We just do this.

1484
01:30:40,886 --> 01:30:43,996
We get the calendar
out in America.

1485
01:30:45,398 --> 01:30:47,318
Look, are you gonna talk to me?

1486
01:30:47,383 --> 01:30:49,215
- I need a shower.
- What?

1487
01:30:49,270 --> 01:30:50,874
Was it down here?

1488
01:30:50,935 --> 01:30:52,223
I feel dirty.

1489
01:30:52,278 --> 01:30:54,679
Your washing powder
made me feel dirty.

1490
01:30:54,742 --> 01:30:56,030
My washing powder?

1491
01:30:56,087 --> 01:30:57,953
Down here.

1492
01:30:59,415 --> 01:31:00,888
Oh, I get it.

1493
01:31:00,950 --> 01:31:02,205
I see.

1494
01:31:02,262 --> 01:31:04,346
This is 'cause
I've organized it.

1495
01:31:04,407 --> 01:31:07,549
Because I've made a success
of getting us a sponsor.

1496
01:31:07,607 --> 01:31:09,527
And taken this out of being...

1497
01:31:09,590 --> 01:31:13,180
We're not just raising money
for a relatives room anymore.

1498
01:31:13,238 --> 01:31:15,105
We're taking on the
bloody disease.

1499
01:31:15,158 --> 01:31:16,413
The red light's on.

1500
01:31:16,470 --> 01:31:18,751
You can't stand it, can you?

1501
01:31:18,807 --> 01:31:22,112
You cannot stand that I've
made this calendar a success.

1502
01:31:22,166 --> 01:31:26,683
No, see, what's happened is this
calendar's made you a success.

1503
01:31:30,614 --> 01:31:32,382
What's that supposed to mean?

1504
01:31:32,438 --> 01:31:33,530
Where are we?

1505
01:31:33,590 --> 01:31:35,390
What is that supposed to mean?

1506
01:31:35,447 --> 01:31:38,393
Well, you don't ask me
what it means, Chris,

1507
01:31:38,455 --> 01:31:40,321
when you're in a
cardboard street

1508
01:31:40,375 --> 01:31:43,168
talking about meeting
George Clooney!

1509
01:31:43,223 --> 01:31:45,656
Well, what's with all
these letters, then?

1510
01:31:45,718 --> 01:31:48,545
All this bloody
Florence Nightingale?

1511
01:31:48,598 --> 01:31:52,439
Doesn't that smack just a
little bit of being a star?

1512
01:31:52,503 --> 01:31:55,002
Lots of people lose
their partners to this.

1513
01:31:55,062 --> 01:31:57,016
I bet they don't
all get fan mail.

1514
01:31:57,078 --> 01:31:59,457
Doesn't that make you
a bit of a success?

1515
01:31:59,510 --> 01:32:02,107
A very successful
bereaved woman?

1516
01:32:02,167 --> 01:32:04,251
A celebrity widow?

1517
01:32:04,310 --> 01:32:06,656
Saint Annie of Knapely?

1518
01:32:09,655 --> 01:32:11,936
I'm not a saint.

1519
01:32:11,990 --> 01:32:14,937
Because I'd rob every
penny from this calendar

1520
01:32:14,999 --> 01:32:18,142
if it would buy me just
one more hour with him.

1521
01:32:20,151 --> 01:32:22,300
You've still got yours.

1522
01:32:22,359 --> 01:32:24,475
And you're in Hollywood.

1523
01:33:40,471 --> 01:33:41,944
Oh, well.

1524
01:33:44,279 --> 01:33:47,258
Oh, Lord! It's Thursday!

1525
01:33:47,319 --> 01:33:48,346
Come on.

1526
01:33:48,407 --> 01:33:50,622
We've got to get in there.

1527
01:33:50,679 --> 01:33:52,185
Are you coming?

1528
01:34:09,367 --> 01:34:10,589
Hello, love.

1529
01:34:13,559 --> 01:34:15,872
* Builded here *

1530
01:34:15,927 --> 01:34:22,779
* Among these dark
satanic mills? *

1531
01:34:22,840 --> 01:34:25,950
* Bring me my bow *

1532
01:34:26,007 --> 01:34:29,051
* Of burning gold *

1533
01:34:47,223 --> 01:34:48,576
How's Jem?

1534
01:34:49,976 --> 01:34:51,711
He made a quiche on Tuesday.

1535
01:34:51,767 --> 01:34:53,666
We've been stoned ever since.

1536
01:34:57,911 --> 01:35:00,377
Don't worry, Chris.
He'll be all right.

1537
01:35:05,176 --> 01:35:07,675
Oh, Rod.

1538
01:35:07,735 --> 01:35:08,694
I'm sorry.

1539
01:35:08,727 --> 01:35:10,233
You don't have to apologize.

1540
01:35:10,295 --> 01:35:11,549
I do have to apologize.

1541
01:35:11,607 --> 01:35:15,645
Because everything you said in
the paper was true, wasn't it?

1542
01:35:15,703 --> 01:35:17,405
I didn't know he
was a journalist.

1543
01:35:17,463 --> 01:35:20,125
Isn't the point.

1544
01:35:20,184 --> 01:35:22,104
I mean, you still said it.

1545
01:35:22,167 --> 01:35:24,284
Why didn't you say it to me?

1546
01:35:24,343 --> 01:35:27,868
Why didn't you just shout
out, "What the bloody hell?"

1547
01:35:27,927 --> 01:35:30,305
Yeah, I know you'd
have liked me to.

1548
01:35:31,319 --> 01:35:33,720
It'd probably suit your
story if I'd been,

1549
01:35:33,783 --> 01:35:36,380
"No bloody wife of
mine." But I've not.

1550
01:35:36,439 --> 01:35:40,161
I actually think it's
brilliant what you've done.

1551
01:35:41,208 --> 01:35:43,292
That's why I've
stood behind you.

1552
01:35:43,351 --> 01:35:45,632
And I've told your
son to be proud.

1553
01:35:45,688 --> 01:35:48,569
Because I actually wanted
you to have all this.

1554
01:35:53,143 --> 01:35:54,845
Thank you.

1555
01:35:56,823 --> 01:35:58,209
Now, do me a bloody favor.

1556
01:35:58,264 --> 01:36:01,690
Get in that hall and sort out
what's gone wrong with Annie.

1557
01:36:03,543 --> 01:36:06,205
I don't know what to say to her.

1558
01:36:06,264 --> 01:36:09,886
She's your oldest friend, Chris.
You don't have to say anything.

1559
01:36:15,927 --> 01:36:17,313
Excuse me. Sorry.

1560
01:36:17,368 --> 01:36:19,768
Ladies. Ladies. Would you...

1561
01:36:19,831 --> 01:36:21,981
Ladies! Please!

1562
01:36:22,039 --> 01:36:23,228
Since we've stopped.

1563
01:36:23,288 --> 01:36:24,542
As it happens,

1564
01:36:24,600 --> 01:36:28,222
today, we've finally been
sent the first figures

1565
01:36:28,280 --> 01:36:30,462
for the sales of our calendar.

1566
01:36:30,520 --> 01:36:31,938
Come on, May, where is it?

1567
01:36:31,991 --> 01:36:33,726
Right. Thank you.

1568
01:36:33,784 --> 01:36:40,123
It says here in this letter
from Leukemia Research Fund

1569
01:36:40,183 --> 01:36:48,192
that we've so far
raised £286,000.

1570
01:36:49,687 --> 01:36:51,870
So a big round of
applause to all of us

1571
01:36:51,928 --> 01:36:54,809
for making it such a success.

1572
01:36:56,024 --> 01:36:58,654
We can get that sofa
in the leather, then.

1573
01:37:10,647 --> 01:37:16,671
* And did those feet
in ancient time *

1574
01:37:16,728 --> 01:37:18,560
* Walk upon England's... *

1575
01:37:18,616 --> 01:37:21,530
I've put our names down for
next month's speakers.

1576
01:37:23,000 --> 01:37:27,168
"Chris and Annie. What we
learned in Hollywood."

1577
01:37:27,224 --> 01:37:28,413
You're lying.

1578
01:37:28,472 --> 01:37:31,386
I know for a fact Colin
Petley's coming from Keighley

1579
01:37:31,448 --> 01:37:32,954
with his tea towels.

1580
01:37:33,016 --> 01:37:35,232
Be still my beating heart.

1581
01:38:38,457 --> 01:38:39,777
Anyone fancy some chips?

1582
01:38:39,832 --> 01:38:41,370
- Oh, yeah!
- Bloody good idea.

1583
01:38:41,432 --> 01:38:43,766
- God, yes.
- I'm starving!

1584
01:43:44,290 --> 01:43:46,208
Calendar Gilrls (2003)
23.976 fps NTSC.