1 00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:03,927 Tammy says you got Christmas geese. 2 00:00:04,092 --> 00:00:05,626 Yep. 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,661 Well, give us one then. 4 00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:14,394 Right now? 5 00:00:14,759 --> 00:00:16,360 Yeah. 6 00:00:17,492 --> 00:00:20,294 That one's spare. Help yourself. 7 00:00:20,459 --> 00:00:21,626 You having a laugh? 8 00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,995 What? It's fucking alive. 9 00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:26,927 I suppose you'd better kill it then. 10 00:00:28,426 --> 00:00:30,027 How? 11 00:00:33,793 --> 00:00:36,028 Gently put its head down there. 12 00:00:36,192 --> 00:00:39,261 Quick in the back of skull with this. Pluck it while it's warm. 13 00:00:40,392 --> 00:00:42,794 Little pot to catch all the blood. 14 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,927 You enjoy that? 15 00:00:45,659 --> 00:00:47,093 No. 16 00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:50,362 But in my low-wage economy, this flock's worth a lot. 17 00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:56,761 You are one sick fuck, Andy. 18 00:00:57,326 --> 00:00:59,428 Grow up. What, mate? 19 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,829 I said, grow up. 20 00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:04,860 Little drummer boy. 21 00:01:22,292 --> 00:01:24,494 Tam phoned this morning. 22 00:01:25,626 --> 00:01:27,427 Told me to finish the house. 23 00:01:27,593 --> 00:01:31,997 Goes on the market in the spring, and that's it. Over. 24 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:36,862 Why does the asshole always get the girl? 25 00:01:38,226 --> 00:01:41,395 Come on, or you'll miss that train. 26 00:02:01,426 --> 00:02:03,261 Andy. 27 00:02:03,426 --> 00:02:07,863 So, what about this shed? Am I dismantling it or mending it? 28 00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:09,559 Hang on. 29 00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,927 I don't know. The shed. 30 00:02:17,259 --> 00:02:18,426 What do you think? 31 00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:21,427 I recommend preserving it. 32 00:02:21,593 --> 00:02:23,027 Really? 33 00:02:23,426 --> 00:02:27,163 Always useful, a good shed. 34 00:02:27,926 --> 00:02:31,796 Well, then keep it. 35 00:02:44,793 --> 00:02:46,628 Oh... 36 00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:50,129 Classy job, Uncle Andy. 37 00:02:51,025 --> 00:02:54,361 It's like, transformed. 38 00:02:54,526 --> 00:02:56,427 Ben won't like this. 39 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,594 Bit boring. 40 00:02:58,759 --> 00:03:01,828 Bit old folks. 41 00:03:01,993 --> 00:03:04,862 I like those curtains. And I like that. 42 00:03:05,025 --> 00:03:07,994 No, don't like those lamps, or that paper. 43 00:03:08,159 --> 00:03:11,128 I'd have gold leaf embossed all round there, 44 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,327 and a wall of flamingo. 45 00:03:13,492 --> 00:03:17,429 Ben would like that. That's a lovely chair. 46 00:03:18,326 --> 00:03:20,528 What's under here? 47 00:03:31,292 --> 00:03:32,893 I'd have a bead curtain. 48 00:03:33,059 --> 00:03:38,864 And the bathroom needs to be darker, like deep chocolate or velvet plum. 49 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:42,328 And I'd bathe in scented oils. 50 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:49,062 And then I'd be ready for Ben. 51 00:03:50,693 --> 00:03:54,430 It won't just be a shag, Case. It'll be an event. 52 00:03:54,593 --> 00:04:00,231 I'll be wearing, like, a gossamer shirt and a bra set, Prada. 53 00:04:00,392 --> 00:04:02,460 And he'll be wearing a black T-shirt. 54 00:04:05,259 --> 00:04:07,828 And it'll be all taut over his buff bod. 55 00:04:07,993 --> 00:04:12,130 And underneath, Calvin Klein boxers, black. 56 00:04:13,059 --> 00:04:17,396 And he'll have a tattoo of my name, and lush pecs. 57 00:04:17,559 --> 00:04:20,662 And I'll smell of Allure by Chanel. 58 00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:26,196 And he tries to resist me but I'm a vision. 59 00:04:26,359 --> 00:04:28,661 And it will be like: ''Ahh.'' 60 00:04:28,826 --> 00:04:30,961 But also respectful. 61 00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:34,528 And my V plates will melt into nothing. 62 00:04:37,159 --> 00:04:38,326 Are you listening? 63 00:04:38,893 --> 00:04:40,794 I like this. What? 64 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,029 There's this bit where Tamara's dad takes her out for dinner, 65 00:04:44,192 --> 00:04:47,295 and she thinks it's some big treat, but what he's doing, right, 66 00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:51,129 is telling her that he's leaving them, and she-- Right, she's gutted. 67 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:54,695 She yaks up her food into her napkin and puts it on his plate. 68 00:04:55,059 --> 00:04:58,061 So? It's painful. 69 00:04:58,259 --> 00:05:03,163 But funny. It's about her, Plastic Fantastic. 70 00:05:03,693 --> 00:05:08,597 Jode, she's sad. Sad? She's a lucky cow. 71 00:05:13,492 --> 00:05:15,861 I've been re-reading Inchcombe Etherised, 72 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,893 one of Nicholas's early books. 73 00:05:18,059 --> 00:05:22,029 There's a character, Theo, who's an adulterer. 74 00:05:22,192 --> 00:05:27,864 And Theo has a list of golden rules called Lulling the Spouse. 75 00:05:28,226 --> 00:05:33,130 ''To allay suspicion,'' he says, ''you must first arouse it.'' 76 00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:35,794 Nicholas rang me earlier to say he was going to be late home. 77 00:05:37,159 --> 00:05:39,294 Yeah, I just bumped into Raoul and Celia. 78 00:05:39,459 --> 00:05:41,994 I said, ''Oh, that's nice.'' 79 00:05:42,159 --> 00:05:45,228 And thought, ''Have you?'' 80 00:05:45,526 --> 00:05:47,527 And I couldn't shake the suspicion. 81 00:05:47,693 --> 00:05:50,462 So after an hour, I phoned Raoul. 82 00:05:51,926 --> 00:05:54,628 Hello? Yeah, he's right here. 83 00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:57,595 And he put Nicholas straight on the line. 84 00:05:57,759 --> 00:05:59,694 Hello. 85 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,662 He's been telling the truth a lot recently. 86 00:06:04,459 --> 00:06:06,761 ls he lulling me? 87 00:06:11,693 --> 00:06:15,229 I might remind him that in Inchcombe Etherized, 88 00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:19,129 Theo's wife runs him through with a carving knife. 89 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,527 What are you doing? Just messing. 90 00:06:35,693 --> 00:06:37,528 I got three valentines. 91 00:06:37,693 --> 00:06:40,429 One from Mom, one from that peanut Ryan, 92 00:06:40,593 --> 00:06:42,494 and a mystery one from Ben. 93 00:06:43,192 --> 00:06:44,960 I sent you that. 94 00:06:45,693 --> 00:06:47,728 ls that theirs? 95 00:06:47,926 --> 00:06:50,028 It's my mom's. They don't drink this shit. 96 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:52,727 Come upstairs and look at what I'm doing. 97 00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:58,530 I've got into her e-mails. We have to get Ben to come back. 98 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,027 I'm sending him a valentine. 99 00:07:01,192 --> 00:07:02,993 No, you're not. From her address. 100 00:07:03,159 --> 00:07:05,694 Then he'll think it's from Tamara, you dipshit. 101 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,061 But I know it'll be from me. 102 00:07:08,226 --> 00:07:11,596 Subject: Hot love. 103 00:07:12,593 --> 00:07:14,194 Oh, God. Jody. 104 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,962 ''Contacts.'' Where are you, Ben? 105 00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:20,861 There's that bloke my mom works for, Nicholas Hardiment. 106 00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:23,527 Let's put him on. Who else? 107 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,829 Uncle Andy. Andy Cobb. 108 00:07:27,092 --> 00:07:30,228 Come to Winnards Farm. 109 00:07:30,392 --> 00:07:36,264 I'll give you the biggest shagging of your life. 110 00:07:36,426 --> 00:07:38,761 Love, Tamara. Kiss, kiss, kiss. 111 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:38,926 Don't ever, ever send that. I just did. 112 00:07:45,092 --> 00:07:47,160 What the fuck is this? 113 00:07:48,526 --> 00:07:50,761 ''Come to Winnards Farm, 114 00:07:52,526 --> 00:07:55,929 and I'll give you the biggest shagging of your life.'' 115 00:07:56,092 --> 00:07:59,595 ''I'll give you the biggest shagging of your life.'' 116 00:08:02,159 --> 00:08:03,760 Are you listening to me? 117 00:08:03,926 --> 00:08:07,763 Ben, will you stop drumming? I didn't write that e-mail. 118 00:08:07,926 --> 00:08:09,294 Why don't you believe me? 119 00:08:09,459 --> 00:08:10,960 When Fran started fucking Steve Culley, 120 00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:13,393 at least she had the decency not to tell the whole world. 121 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:14,927 What's that supposed to mean? 122 00:08:17,459 --> 00:08:20,361 She must want a foursome or something. 123 00:08:21,359 --> 00:08:23,861 You fancy a foursome with Nicholas Hardiment? 124 00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,426 Bugger that. 125 00:08:25,593 --> 00:08:27,027 What was she thinking? 126 00:08:27,192 --> 00:08:30,161 Well, maybe she's trying to make you jealous. 127 00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:32,895 Or maybe she's trying to make the boyfriend jealous. 128 00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:36,162 Or maybe she's just trying to give him a really big hint 129 00:08:36,326 --> 00:08:37,960 that she's not getting enough. 130 00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:41,361 Or maybe she's just a bit kinky. Or maybe she's crazy. 131 00:08:41,526 --> 00:08:44,395 Or maybe she was off her face. 132 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:45,626 She was pissed. 133 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,162 I wasn't pissed or depraved or anything. 134 00:08:48,326 --> 00:08:49,493 It's okay. It's okay. 135 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,595 Can you go look at the house? To make sure no one's been in. 136 00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:54,494 No problem. Thanks. 137 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,027 Ben's really pissed off. 138 00:08:56,192 --> 00:08:58,360 He's massively got the hump. Have I? 139 00:08:58,526 --> 00:09:01,295 I've just asked Andy to have a look at Winnards. 140 00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,794 I've got to go, I'm sorry. 141 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,695 Are you a fucking idiot? What? 142 00:09:05,859 --> 00:09:09,329 Are you thick? Isn't it obvious who wrote that e-mail? That tosser Andy Cobb. 143 00:09:09,492 --> 00:09:11,727 Andy wouldn't do that. Making himself cozy in your house, 144 00:09:11,893 --> 00:09:14,428 going through your stuff. Probably got a pair of your pants on. 145 00:09:14,593 --> 00:09:16,261 Bet it was him who nicked my black T-shirt. 146 00:09:16,426 --> 00:09:19,128 Of course, he didn't. Oh, that's it, jumping to his defense. 147 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,128 He hasn't done anything. Boss. Boss. 148 00:09:24,359 --> 00:09:26,027 What are you doing? 149 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,394 You know Fran's having a baby. 150 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,628 She wanted to see me. I wasn't going to, but now, 151 00:09:32,392 --> 00:09:34,026 why not? 152 00:09:34,726 --> 00:09:37,161 Come on, Boss, let's go for a crap. 153 00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:41,761 Come on, mom, she's just stirring shit. Tamara's always done that. 154 00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:45,429 Yes, but why? You know how subversive she is. 155 00:09:45,593 --> 00:09:49,396 She once sent me a valentine from Prince Harry and I believed it. 156 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,261 It's her sense of humor. She likes causing trouble. 157 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,796 At school, she used to give us first-years tips on how to shoplift. 158 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,195 She taught you how to shoplift? 159 00:09:58,359 --> 00:10:01,729 Mom, she's marrying Ben Sergeant. 160 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,961 Why would she look at an old git like Dad? 161 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,060 BETH : Hmm. I just don't get the joke. 162 00:10:06,226 --> 00:10:08,494 And why is your father on the e-mail? And Andy? 163 00:10:08,659 --> 00:10:11,561 It's so tasteless. Help me out with these, would you? 164 00:10:11,726 --> 00:10:13,828 I have to work on my thesis on the Taliban. 165 00:10:13,993 --> 00:10:15,794 Taliban, I know. 166 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:24,062 What do you make of that e-mail from Tamara? 167 00:10:24,226 --> 00:10:26,061 Don't make any sense. 168 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,929 That London boyfriend's trying to fuck her up. That's my theory. 169 00:10:30,092 --> 00:10:32,294 She could do so much better. 170 00:10:32,659 --> 00:10:34,560 I couldn't agree more. 171 00:10:39,993 --> 00:10:42,929 It's Ben. ''Who's the Daddy?'' 172 00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:45,293 ''Steve Culley and Fran Redmond 173 00:10:45,459 --> 00:10:48,295 recently announced they were expecting. 174 00:10:48,459 --> 00:10:53,263 But in a valentine-tryst shocker, Fran is snapped with ex Ben Sergeant. 175 00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:55,227 Ben and Fran, we say, 'Get a room.''' 176 00:10:55,392 --> 00:10:58,762 He's back with Fran? After you sent that e-mail, Jode. 177 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,994 No way. No way. 178 00:11:03,359 --> 00:11:04,693 There's Plastic. 179 00:11:06,192 --> 00:11:08,861 Oh, my God, what have I done? What have you done? 180 00:11:09,025 --> 00:11:10,693 What if Ben's dumped her? 181 00:11:12,693 --> 00:11:14,661 What if he never comes back? 182 00:11:40,459 --> 00:11:42,928 I'll never see Ben again and it's all my fault. 183 00:11:43,426 --> 00:11:45,694 What's all your fault? None of your business. 184 00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,760 I'm bloody sick of you looking like a wet weekend. 185 00:11:48,926 --> 00:11:50,160 Who's Ben? No one. 186 00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:51,760 What have you done? Nothing. 187 00:11:51,926 --> 00:11:54,895 You in trouble? No, leave me alone. 188 00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:57,527 You take care with boys, Jody. 189 00:11:57,693 --> 00:12:00,095 You know what can happen. 190 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:02,994 What can happen? 191 00:12:03,159 --> 00:12:07,563 What can ever, ever happen in a place like this? 192 00:12:15,459 --> 00:12:19,196 Hello. I thought you were in London with Ben from Swipe. 193 00:12:19,359 --> 00:12:22,829 I'm looking for Andy. Well, he's not up at Stonefield. 194 00:12:24,092 --> 00:12:26,127 So where's this shag you've been offering me? 195 00:12:26,292 --> 00:12:27,826 Fuck off. Come on. I saw that e-mail. 196 00:12:27,993 --> 00:12:29,327 Well, I didn't send it. 197 00:12:29,492 --> 00:12:34,029 And I wouldn't shag you if you were the last man left after a nuclear winter. 198 00:12:34,593 --> 00:12:36,461 I'll come round tomorrow then, about 3? 199 00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:39,328 Drop dead, you smug prick. 200 00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:44,393 Watch out. 201 00:13:34,326 --> 00:13:38,863 Yeah, I'll-- I'll probably stay at the library another hour or two. 202 00:13:39,326 --> 00:13:41,161 Yeah. 203 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:45,862 Yeah, just checking some law reports. 204 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,194 You're a marvel. 205 00:13:50,359 --> 00:13:52,294 Okay. 206 00:14:08,859 --> 00:14:10,560 Hello. 207 00:14:13,125 --> 00:14:14,793 So, 208 00:14:15,259 --> 00:14:17,160 Nicholas. 209 00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:28,694 You can tell me to leave. 210 00:14:32,159 --> 00:14:34,728 You can throw me right out. 211 00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:41,560 Just say the word, 212 00:14:42,559 --> 00:14:44,661 and I'll go. 213 00:15:13,926 --> 00:15:16,194 Do you smoke after sex? 214 00:15:16,359 --> 00:15:17,993 I don't know, I've never looked. 215 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,527 I used to watch you out of my window, 216 00:15:23,693 --> 00:15:26,395 helping your daughter skateboard up the lane. 217 00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:29,360 Bit of an obvious crush, wasn't it? 218 00:15:29,826 --> 00:15:33,696 ls that why I'm here? To expurgate the crush? 219 00:15:33,859 --> 00:15:35,360 I don't know. 220 00:15:35,526 --> 00:15:37,427 Or as revenge on your ex? 221 00:15:38,259 --> 00:15:40,628 I don't know, Nicholas. 222 00:15:40,859 --> 00:15:42,026 Why are you here? 223 00:15:43,292 --> 00:15:44,893 I should have thought that was obvious. 224 00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:51,296 Since you climbed over that stile in the summer, 225 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,961 I haven't thought about very much else. 226 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,760 When can we do this again? What about Beth? 227 00:16:04,926 --> 00:16:07,194 Beth and I have this kind of open-- Bullshit. 228 00:16:07,359 --> 00:16:10,628 Thursday? Isn't life complicated enough? 229 00:16:10,793 --> 00:16:13,028 Don't put me in your column. 230 00:16:13,693 --> 00:16:15,928 In your dreams. 231 00:16:24,659 --> 00:16:26,861 Structure can be so sterile, can't it? 232 00:16:27,025 --> 00:16:29,160 I always think of it as a 3-dimensional-- 233 00:16:29,326 --> 00:16:31,161 Oh. Oh, here he is. 234 00:16:31,626 --> 00:16:35,730 Oh, poor you. Was it awful? I was starting to worry. 235 00:16:35,893 --> 00:16:40,097 Bloody terrible. Didn't move till well past Chiswick, but look. 236 00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:42,995 I popped into Fortnum's. My favorite teas. 237 00:16:46,226 --> 00:16:50,029 Oh, my goodness, you feel like my buzzy toothbrush just after I've charged it up. 238 00:16:50,192 --> 00:16:53,662 You should go to London more often. Well, maybe I will. 239 00:16:53,826 --> 00:16:57,429 Oh. Sorry, everybody. Traffic was a pig. Do carry on. What have I missed? 240 00:16:57,593 --> 00:17:00,829 Well, I'm trying this magic realist bit at the end of Chapter 3. 241 00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:03,362 Oh. That sounds very innovative. Oh, you think so? 242 00:17:03,526 --> 00:17:06,795 Yes. I think I've always been waiting for the, uh, magic realist crime novel. 243 00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:11,161 Wuthering Heights, it's kind of _ngel of the North. 244 00:17:23,092 --> 00:17:28,530 So after two years of radio silence, I contact my editor, 245 00:17:29,159 --> 00:17:32,762 and she loves-- I mean, she loves the chapters I did in the fall. 246 00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,528 Oh, Glen. Ha-ha. 247 00:17:36,159 --> 00:17:37,793 I tried writing at the library 248 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,363 but I could feel that awful paralysis descending again. 249 00:17:41,526 --> 00:17:45,663 I missed everything that I've been, you know, finding here. 250 00:17:46,059 --> 00:17:48,161 Oh, my God. 251 00:17:48,326 --> 00:17:51,128 It's so beautiful. 252 00:17:51,292 --> 00:17:52,993 Well, I'm very glad you've come back. 253 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,027 Yeah, in a few solid weeks-- 254 00:17:55,192 --> 00:17:57,327 Holy cow! 255 00:17:59,326 --> 00:18:01,227 Idiots! Ha-ha. 256 00:18:01,659 --> 00:18:03,193 Morons! 257 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:04,960 Ha-ha. 258 00:18:07,226 --> 00:18:10,963 Hey, writers, let's egg the self-regarding sacks of shit. 259 00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:14,194 It's half term, they're just bored. 260 00:18:16,559 --> 00:18:19,395 There's this theory that Hardy gave his wife syphilis, you know. 261 00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:22,328 No evidence, but the symptoms fit. Poor woman, 262 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:26,262 she starts to get eccentric and then she moves her bed up to their attic. 263 00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:27,460 The bastard. 264 00:18:27,626 --> 00:18:30,662 Meanwhile, Hardy falls in love with a woman 39 years younger than him. 265 00:18:30,826 --> 00:18:34,629 I don't believe it. Yeah, he was 65 and she was 26. 266 00:18:34,793 --> 00:18:37,328 Geoff. Glen. 267 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,026 Henry James? Thomas Hardy. 268 00:18:39,192 --> 00:18:42,194 That's it, a Hardy book. Coming well? 269 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,928 Yes, actually. He gave his wife syphilis. 270 00:18:45,092 --> 00:18:47,127 Jolly good. 271 00:18:49,192 --> 00:18:51,227 Oh, he-- He's completely distracted. 272 00:18:51,392 --> 00:18:53,360 He's up and down to London all the time. 273 00:18:53,526 --> 00:18:56,662 This latest Inchcombe's taking everything he's got. 274 00:18:57,092 --> 00:18:59,461 It's really preying on him. 275 00:19:00,993 --> 00:19:03,395 ls it any good? Because I keep changing things 276 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,593 and-- Shh. 277 00:19:10,492 --> 00:19:12,961 It's brutally candid. 278 00:19:13,759 --> 00:19:17,262 You lay yourself completely bare. 279 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:25,330 It's a bit over-written. It needs a good edit, but, uh, 280 00:19:26,893 --> 00:19:28,427 it's very moving. 281 00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:31,260 Thank you. 282 00:19:31,426 --> 00:19:33,161 So, 283 00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:35,826 have I done my duty? 284 00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:37,860 Admirably. 285 00:19:38,259 --> 00:19:40,327 Now do I get my treat? 286 00:19:42,025 --> 00:19:44,694 You are so cheesy. 287 00:19:51,159 --> 00:19:53,861 Zero Ben sightings in two whole months. 288 00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:58,929 Last time I saw Plastic, she looked like a minger. 289 00:19:59,092 --> 00:20:00,927 All red-eyed and gutted. 290 00:20:01,125 --> 00:20:02,926 Ben's a love rat. 291 00:20:03,092 --> 00:20:04,960 You gotta face it, she should move on. 292 00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:06,659 She's probably topped herself. 293 00:20:07,025 --> 00:20:11,295 I would, if Ben dumped me. Jode, don't say that. 294 00:20:11,459 --> 00:20:13,327 What if she's done something? 295 00:20:13,492 --> 00:20:16,228 Like got in the bath with her heated tongs? 296 00:20:16,392 --> 00:20:19,528 Like taken a stack of pills. Think she might be lying there, 297 00:20:19,693 --> 00:20:22,429 all choked in vomit and drug froth? That'd be dire. 298 00:20:22,593 --> 00:20:25,462 If we find her, we'll get in the papers. Oh, my God. 299 00:20:25,626 --> 00:20:27,527 Rock chick dead at Winnards Farm. 300 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,128 What's Uncle Andy doing here? 301 00:20:58,559 --> 00:21:00,661 Ass biscuits. 302 00:21:10,392 --> 00:21:12,160 No answer. 303 00:21:12,326 --> 00:21:15,696 She could've been there days. She could be all putrid-like, rancid. 304 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,827 Oh, no, gonna chuck. 305 00:21:17,993 --> 00:21:21,796 All bloated and all greeny. Uncle Andy will find her by the smell. 306 00:21:22,426 --> 00:21:23,727 Ugh. Shh. 307 00:21:25,125 --> 00:21:26,426 Andy. 308 00:21:26,593 --> 00:21:29,796 Oh, bollocks, she's alive. Haven't seen you for a while. 309 00:21:30,392 --> 00:21:32,660 Thought you might be ill or something, or depressed. 310 00:21:32,826 --> 00:21:35,094 I've had my head down, writing. 311 00:21:35,259 --> 00:21:36,326 Come for a drink. 312 00:21:36,893 --> 00:21:39,095 Let's lighten up. I'd love to, but, 313 00:21:40,092 --> 00:21:43,261 I'm kind of on one with my writing, and... 314 00:21:44,593 --> 00:21:46,127 Can we do it soon, though? 315 00:21:46,292 --> 00:21:49,828 I really would like to. Just not right now. 316 00:21:50,492 --> 00:21:52,126 Sure. 317 00:22:02,693 --> 00:22:04,528 What is he doing here? 318 00:22:04,693 --> 00:22:06,628 Oh, he just came by on the off-chance. 319 00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:08,661 Off-chance of what? 320 00:22:08,826 --> 00:22:11,261 Something about the roofing for the shed. 321 00:22:17,593 --> 00:22:19,928 Do you think he's in with a chance? No way. 322 00:22:20,092 --> 00:22:23,094 Why not? He's fit. I'd do him. Jody, he's my uncle. 323 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:26,261 She'd be mad not to have him. Bet he goes like a train. 324 00:22:33,125 --> 00:22:34,659 Let's go, my knickers are wet. 325 00:22:34,826 --> 00:22:36,961 Wait, wait. 326 00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:43,595 Oh, my God. 327 00:22:47,526 --> 00:22:48,827 Nicholas, go. 328 00:22:57,326 --> 00:23:00,262 ''Prolific author of intelligent crime novels.'' 329 00:23:00,426 --> 00:23:03,362 Fucking D-list. How could she do that after Ben? 330 00:23:03,526 --> 00:23:06,695 He's not even a proper celeb. Maybe she's numbing the pain. 331 00:23:06,859 --> 00:23:07,893 Trying to tear love-- 332 00:23:08,059 --> 00:23:09,727 Oh, shut up, Case. She's just a slag. 333 00:23:09,893 --> 00:23:12,695 She went out and pulled a married man. 334 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:16,462 Like that bitch that went off with my dad. 335 00:23:18,025 --> 00:23:21,094 I know who I feel sorry for. 336 00:23:25,426 --> 00:23:28,061 Then there'll be the divorce and acrimony, 337 00:23:28,226 --> 00:23:30,962 and Beth's world will fall apart. Yeah. 338 00:23:31,125 --> 00:23:35,262 But maybe one day, she'll put the bitterness behind her, 339 00:23:35,426 --> 00:23:36,693 and find a new love. 340 00:23:36,859 --> 00:23:39,595 Don't be daft. She's old, you sop. 341 00:23:39,759 --> 00:23:41,527 See? 342 00:23:42,226 --> 00:23:45,028 That's D-list's car. 343 00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:49,862 This is where he hides his car when he goes to shag Plastic. 344 00:23:50,025 --> 00:23:53,061 Yeah. Dirty git. Big old turd. 345 00:23:53,226 --> 00:23:56,829 He's a rotten cheater. Like my dad. 346 00:23:57,859 --> 00:24:01,028 Come on, Case. Let's fuck him up. 347 00:24:05,125 --> 00:24:07,994 Shit salad. 348 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,462 Oh, poor you. What a drag. 349 00:24:14,826 --> 00:24:16,093 Yes, it's a frightful bore. 350 00:24:16,259 --> 00:24:17,893 I'll hold off on the paella then. 351 00:24:18,059 --> 00:24:19,960 You're a marvel. See you soon. 352 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,759 Did you--? 353 00:24:24,926 --> 00:24:27,895 Beth, can I use the printer? 354 00:24:28,059 --> 00:24:31,829 Nicholas is stuck on the motorway with a flat tire, 355 00:24:32,292 --> 00:24:34,527 but I couldn't hear traffic, just rooks. 356 00:24:34,693 --> 00:24:36,027 Hmm. 357 00:24:36,859 --> 00:24:38,860 Sorry, um, did you want me to read something? 358 00:24:39,025 --> 00:24:41,026 No. Can I use the printer? 359 00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:48,962 Nicholas, someone knows. 360 00:24:49,192 --> 00:24:52,128 Maybe we should-- Who cares? 361 00:25:01,526 --> 00:25:05,863 Casey, pop them. Pop them. 362 00:25:10,693 --> 00:25:13,562 Fucking bingo. 363 00:25:18,292 --> 00:25:20,560 Hello, Casey, how are you? Hello. 364 00:25:20,726 --> 00:25:22,794 All right. Waiting for the bus? 365 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,828 Bus got scrapped. Oh, so it did. 366 00:25:24,993 --> 00:25:28,262 Well, hope it doesn't rain. 367 00:25:29,893 --> 00:25:32,895 Gutted for her. Me too. 368 00:25:33,559 --> 00:25:36,061 Fat arse though, hasn't she? 369 00:25:39,426 --> 00:25:41,161 Send her the photo, Case. I can't. 370 00:25:41,326 --> 00:25:43,394 Why not? What if it ruins her life? 371 00:25:43,559 --> 00:25:45,627 We gotta do something. Plastic's an idiot. 372 00:25:45,793 --> 00:25:48,629 She fucked it up with Ben. We fucked it up with Ben, Jode. 373 00:25:51,693 --> 00:25:53,594 It's like... 374 00:25:56,159 --> 00:25:58,995 We've gotta rescue her from D-list. 375 00:26:28,326 --> 00:26:30,027 Casey. What? 376 00:26:30,192 --> 00:26:34,329 She's back in touch with him. She's got an e-mail from Ben. 377 00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:37,829 ''Tamara, Fran's baby has come.'' 378 00:26:37,993 --> 00:26:41,363 Case, he says it's a little brown girl with curly black hair. 379 00:26:41,526 --> 00:26:42,927 Oh, cute. 380 00:26:43,092 --> 00:26:47,162 ''I think we can safely say it's Steven Culley's, not mine. 381 00:26:47,326 --> 00:26:49,828 Truth is, I feel free. 382 00:26:49,993 --> 00:26:52,228 Gig in Paris for a few days. 383 00:26:52,392 --> 00:26:55,528 If I bring him down, would you have Boss?'' 384 00:26:55,693 --> 00:26:59,329 Yes. Yes, he's coming back. 385 00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:01,961 What are you doing? Dear, Ben, 386 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:05,828 I have found a reliable dog lover in the village. 387 00:27:05,993 --> 00:27:07,894 Who? Please call Jody, 388 00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:11,929 You can't send that. on 07700-900-929. 389 00:27:12,092 --> 00:27:14,994 I'm getting him back down here! For who? You? 390 00:27:15,159 --> 00:27:17,327 Why not me? Are you mental? 391 00:27:17,492 --> 00:27:20,127 ''Reliable dog lover''? You're making a great big mess-- 392 00:27:20,292 --> 00:27:22,661 I'm making something happen! 393 00:27:22,993 --> 00:27:24,861 Otherwise, my whole life will go by, 394 00:27:25,025 --> 00:27:27,394 and I'll be 34 and washed up like my mom. 395 00:27:27,559 --> 00:27:30,662 And no one decent will ever even have snogged me. 396 00:27:30,826 --> 00:27:33,695 If you do this, you're on your own. 397 00:27:33,859 --> 00:27:35,994 Fuck off, then. 398 00:27:36,492 --> 00:27:38,794 You twat. 399 00:27:42,192 --> 00:27:45,261 There's the festival brochure. You're on in the Lanson marquee. 400 00:27:45,559 --> 00:27:48,161 And, um, I've marked a few bits, in case you want to read. 401 00:27:48,326 --> 00:27:51,295 You're a marvel. Cheers. 402 00:27:51,459 --> 00:27:53,127 I could come with you. 403 00:27:53,292 --> 00:27:55,494 Oh, don't. You hate festivals. 404 00:27:55,659 --> 00:27:58,628 But it's only Hadditon. I'll come. 405 00:27:58,793 --> 00:28:01,695 It'll be completely boring. You'll hate it. 406 00:28:01,859 --> 00:28:03,727 Stay here. 407 00:28:16,526 --> 00:28:17,927 Wow. 408 00:28:25,125 --> 00:28:29,329 Wanker! Aah! Right. 409 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:32,893 Ha-ha-ha. Finished. 410 00:28:33,059 --> 00:28:35,895 I'm doing this cake in celebration. Well done. 411 00:28:36,059 --> 00:28:37,393 Well, to Hardy. 412 00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:42,395 Yeah, even though I can't bear the man for what he did to his wife. 413 00:28:42,759 --> 00:28:45,995 Oh, thanks, Andy. Just pop them over there. 414 00:28:51,626 --> 00:28:54,261 How do I find out who sent this? 415 00:28:59,759 --> 00:29:02,128 It says ''number withheld.'' 416 00:29:04,659 --> 00:29:06,594 Did you know? 417 00:29:09,726 --> 00:29:11,994 I couldn't tell you. 418 00:29:12,326 --> 00:29:14,194 I'm sorry, Beth. 419 00:29:20,459 --> 00:29:22,260 Her. 420 00:29:22,659 --> 00:29:24,594 Oh, my God. 421 00:29:24,759 --> 00:29:27,795 Oh, this is just-- This is just horrible. 422 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:28,994 Right under my nose. 423 00:29:29,159 --> 00:29:31,027 Oh, it's so shitty. God, I feel sick. 424 00:29:31,192 --> 00:29:33,994 So insulting. You do not deserve to be treated like this. 425 00:29:34,159 --> 00:29:35,827 If you're kind to me, I'll cry. 426 00:29:35,993 --> 00:29:38,895 And I don't want to cry, I must be very clear. 427 00:29:39,326 --> 00:29:41,761 If there's anything that I can do... 428 00:29:42,025 --> 00:29:44,260 I have to do it by myself. 429 00:29:48,359 --> 00:29:50,994 Oh, come on. Come on, Beth. Come on. 430 00:29:51,159 --> 00:29:54,095 I trod in the sponge mix. 431 00:30:00,392 --> 00:30:03,261 Jody? This is Ben Sergeant. 432 00:30:04,192 --> 00:30:06,127 Yeah, that's right. I love dogs. 433 00:30:06,726 --> 00:30:10,463 Yeah, so I'll see you at Winnards Farm at 2:OO. 434 00:30:10,626 --> 00:30:13,095 Yeah. Perfect. 435 00:30:21,759 --> 00:30:23,494 Andy. 436 00:30:23,726 --> 00:30:26,428 Hey, how are you? 437 00:30:28,192 --> 00:30:31,161 I wondered if you wanted to go for that drink? 438 00:30:31,693 --> 00:30:34,495 I need a friend at the mo-- You and Nicholas Hardiment. 439 00:30:34,659 --> 00:30:36,894 That's a nice piece of work, isn't it? 440 00:30:37,059 --> 00:30:40,996 I get it from his point of view. He's always been a cheating wanker. 441 00:30:41,159 --> 00:30:43,928 Loves having his cake and eating it. 442 00:30:45,025 --> 00:30:47,961 But since when did your standards drop so low? 443 00:30:48,125 --> 00:30:49,426 You could have anyone. 444 00:30:49,593 --> 00:30:52,362 All you have to do is bat your eyes. Andy. 445 00:30:52,526 --> 00:30:56,429 I care a lot about Beth. She helped me out when I was at rock bottom. 446 00:30:56,593 --> 00:30:58,127 I'm not going to split them up. 447 00:30:58,292 --> 00:31:00,093 It's just-- A bit of fun? 448 00:31:00,259 --> 00:31:03,161 It's none of your bloody business. 449 00:31:05,326 --> 00:31:07,861 Andy Cobb knows. Cock pie. Has he told Beth? 450 00:31:08,025 --> 00:31:10,660 I don't know, but he might. And I wouldn't blame him. 451 00:31:10,826 --> 00:31:12,294 I suppose it has to come out sometime. 452 00:31:12,459 --> 00:31:13,493 Does it? 453 00:31:13,659 --> 00:31:16,628 It's a good thing. Feels like a relief. It means we can think about 454 00:31:16,793 --> 00:31:18,895 our plans for the future. What future? 455 00:31:19,059 --> 00:31:21,594 I know it's been hard for you, sharing me with Beth. 456 00:31:21,759 --> 00:31:23,894 But I'm yours now. I'm gonna leave her. 457 00:31:24,059 --> 00:31:27,028 Mr. Hardiment. It's time. 458 00:31:28,292 --> 00:31:32,195 I want a new life with you. 459 00:31:35,326 --> 00:31:36,593 It's a nice dog, Mom. 460 00:31:36,759 --> 00:31:40,095 Well, I don't like having dog hair and slobber all over the place. 461 00:31:40,259 --> 00:31:41,593 But I said yes. 462 00:31:41,759 --> 00:31:44,361 No dogs, no way, and that's final. 463 00:31:44,526 --> 00:31:48,630 You loser, I hate you! You want to ruin my life! 464 00:31:50,359 --> 00:31:51,993 Live the dream, Jody. 465 00:31:52,159 --> 00:31:53,760 Well, it all runs very smoothly. 466 00:31:53,926 --> 00:31:57,195 I start a book in the summer and publish it the following spring. 467 00:31:57,359 --> 00:31:59,360 Bit of a factory, really. 468 00:32:00,726 --> 00:32:04,863 So you've finished Like rhe Night, which is the 1 7th of the Inchcombe adventures. 469 00:32:05,025 --> 00:32:08,194 And we all assume you're planning the next one already. 470 00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:10,094 Well 471 00:32:11,326 --> 00:32:13,394 there isn't gonna be a next one. 472 00:32:13,559 --> 00:32:14,660 No. What? 473 00:32:14,826 --> 00:32:16,994 Frankly, I'm sick to death of Inchcombe. 474 00:32:17,159 --> 00:32:19,794 In fact, I'm about to kill him off. 475 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:21,394 No. He can't do that. 476 00:32:21,559 --> 00:32:23,794 Well, I think that's what we call in the trade, 477 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,929 a bit of a bombshell for your fans here. 478 00:32:27,459 --> 00:32:31,563 Yes, but I'm moving on to fresh pastures. 479 00:32:31,726 --> 00:32:33,494 No. 480 00:32:33,659 --> 00:32:35,927 Inchcombe is about to meet a very sticky end, 481 00:32:36,092 --> 00:32:39,195 and it's one murder I'm really looking forward to. 482 00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:43,962 Now, at this point, we should get some questions, I think. 483 00:32:44,125 --> 00:32:47,928 And I'm-- Yes, there's a lady over there. 484 00:32:51,259 --> 00:32:56,263 You write a lot about adultery, is that from personal experience? 485 00:32:57,392 --> 00:32:58,926 Madam, 486 00:33:00,926 --> 00:33:02,927 what a saucy question. Uh... 487 00:33:03,092 --> 00:33:05,661 But there's no need for an author's work to be autobiographical-- 488 00:33:05,826 --> 00:33:07,694 Why do you cheat persistently on your wife? 489 00:33:09,359 --> 00:33:11,227 Who's that? 490 00:33:16,693 --> 00:33:18,795 Because she lets me. 491 00:33:20,192 --> 00:33:21,927 Tamara. 492 00:33:22,926 --> 00:33:25,228 Where--? Nicholas, this has got to stop. 493 00:33:25,392 --> 00:33:27,594 You're right. I can't go on using her. Lying to her. 494 00:33:27,759 --> 00:33:29,193 It won't be fun but I've gotta do it. 495 00:33:29,359 --> 00:33:32,095 I don't feel alive with Beth. I haven't been living for years. 496 00:33:32,259 --> 00:33:35,295 She's smothered me like a blanket. Nicholas, listen to me. 497 00:33:35,459 --> 00:33:39,229 It was fun, but it's wrong and it's over. 498 00:33:42,292 --> 00:33:44,961 I'm in love with you. I'm sorry. 499 00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:46,526 No. 500 00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:50,129 No. No. No. You can't end it. Tamara-- 501 00:33:50,292 --> 00:33:52,360 Fuck supper! Will you keep it down? 502 00:33:52,526 --> 00:33:54,928 My God, you're cold-hearted. No, I'm not. 503 00:33:55,092 --> 00:33:57,894 You don't feel a thing, do you? I do. I do feel. 504 00:33:58,059 --> 00:34:01,262 I feel like I'm blazing away inside all the time. 505 00:34:01,893 --> 00:34:05,196 Why do I do these things? What am I doing with you? 506 00:34:06,492 --> 00:34:09,628 There's someone else, isn't there? Oh, for God's sake. 507 00:34:09,793 --> 00:34:12,529 Not the narcissist drummer? Goodbye. 508 00:34:12,693 --> 00:34:14,394 It's that ignorant lunk, isn't it? 509 00:34:14,559 --> 00:34:17,428 That muscle-bound wastrel Andy Cobb. 510 00:34:17,893 --> 00:34:21,162 Andy Cobb is a far better man than you. 511 00:34:24,759 --> 00:34:26,393 Go on. 512 00:34:30,726 --> 00:34:34,463 Mr. Hardiment, will you sign this? Imagine getting him to sign. 513 00:34:34,626 --> 00:34:37,128 I love your books. 514 00:34:53,726 --> 00:34:55,694 Thank you. 515 00:35:03,559 --> 00:35:05,327 Hello? 516 00:35:08,059 --> 00:35:10,828 It's Jody Long about the dog. 517 00:35:14,893 --> 00:35:16,594 Ben? 518 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:23,661 Hello? 519 00:35:26,559 --> 00:35:28,193 Ben? 520 00:35:34,593 --> 00:35:36,294 Ben? 521 00:35:50,492 --> 00:35:52,527 Well, you gonna answer that? 522 00:35:53,759 --> 00:35:56,228 Jody, what are you doing not fucking answering? 523 00:35:59,993 --> 00:36:04,030 Ben's dog is here. It's loose. It means Ben must be up at Winnards. 524 00:36:06,092 --> 00:36:07,359 Boss! 525 00:36:09,025 --> 00:36:10,359 Dog minder? 526 00:36:11,559 --> 00:36:15,829 You've been breaking in, sending e-mails and fucking people off. 527 00:36:17,192 --> 00:36:20,528 Did you nick my black T-shirt? I just wanted to meet you. Just once. 528 00:36:20,693 --> 00:36:23,762 Just to tell you stuff. Stuff? What stuff? 529 00:36:23,926 --> 00:36:26,028 Like, I love you. 530 00:36:26,659 --> 00:36:29,161 I really, really love you. 531 00:36:29,626 --> 00:36:32,328 That's really nice. 532 00:36:33,593 --> 00:36:36,896 I used to lie awake thinking about you being here. 533 00:36:37,059 --> 00:36:38,727 In Ewedown. 534 00:36:38,893 --> 00:36:42,196 In the bum-hole of nowhere. 535 00:36:43,192 --> 00:36:45,928 When you left, I couldn't bear it. 536 00:36:46,292 --> 00:36:49,628 I just wanted to make you come back. 537 00:36:54,192 --> 00:36:58,963 Do you still love me, Jody? Even though I wanna lock you up? 538 00:37:00,292 --> 00:37:02,394 What would you do for me then? 539 00:37:03,125 --> 00:37:05,293 Would you do anything, like a proper fan? 540 00:37:06,759 --> 00:37:08,894 Let's see then, shall we? 541 00:37:10,192 --> 00:37:13,428 I bet that bitch wants a baby. Well, she'll find out. Nicholas doesn't do children. 542 00:37:13,593 --> 00:37:15,528 He'll leave it all up to her. Oh. 543 00:37:15,693 --> 00:37:17,294 That'll age her. Beth. 544 00:37:17,459 --> 00:37:20,028 Suppose he discovers fatherhood? They do, these men. 545 00:37:20,192 --> 00:37:24,062 Second time around, they get all nappy-happy. 546 00:37:24,226 --> 00:37:26,027 I was barely 20 when I got pregnant. 547 00:37:26,192 --> 00:37:29,495 I've never done anything. God. Yes, you have. Look at this place. 548 00:37:29,659 --> 00:37:31,894 I've let him walk all over me. Why? Why have I done that? 549 00:37:32,059 --> 00:37:33,427 I've wasted my life. 550 00:37:33,593 --> 00:37:35,394 No. What about the work you've done here? 551 00:37:35,559 --> 00:37:36,593 Work? Yes. 552 00:37:36,759 --> 00:37:39,761 What, breeding goats? Baking fucking biscuits? 553 00:37:39,926 --> 00:37:41,260 It's meaningless! 554 00:37:42,659 --> 00:37:44,127 Beth. 555 00:37:44,359 --> 00:37:47,428 When I was lost with my book, you helped me more than you know. 556 00:37:47,593 --> 00:37:49,861 You asked me who I was writing it for. 557 00:37:50,659 --> 00:37:52,327 You. 558 00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:16,960 Excuse me. 559 00:38:19,726 --> 00:38:21,294 May I speak with my wife? 560 00:38:21,459 --> 00:38:24,762 No, you may not. 561 00:38:26,426 --> 00:38:28,761 Beth. Beth. 562 00:38:30,492 --> 00:38:32,293 It's over. 563 00:38:33,226 --> 00:38:34,927 I've finished it. 564 00:38:35,092 --> 00:38:37,327 She's been chasing me. 565 00:38:37,492 --> 00:38:39,794 I think there's something unhinged about her. 566 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,428 This wild crush. 567 00:38:42,793 --> 00:38:46,930 Ben Sergeant's bloody dog again. Go on, get out. 568 00:38:47,092 --> 00:38:51,396 Back to that tart at Winnards Farm. Go on. Bugger off! 569 00:38:52,359 --> 00:38:53,860 Beth. 570 00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:56,860 You know I'm sorry. 571 00:38:57,659 --> 00:39:00,661 I want you to leave. I want a divorce. 572 00:39:00,826 --> 00:39:02,827 No, you don't. Don't be ridiculous. 573 00:39:03,259 --> 00:39:05,094 Now, look-- And I want this place. 574 00:39:05,893 --> 00:39:07,027 You can't. 575 00:39:07,492 --> 00:39:10,962 Watch me. I will. 576 00:39:12,326 --> 00:39:16,396 That's it, lovely. Keep it going, keep it going. Stop. Couple of sugars. 577 00:39:18,226 --> 00:39:19,894 Stir it. 578 00:39:29,092 --> 00:39:32,495 That is a very good cup of tea. Which is lucky for you, Jody. 579 00:39:32,659 --> 00:39:33,726 Had it been shit, 580 00:39:33,893 --> 00:39:36,462 I'd be on the phone to the extremely scary Iocal cops right now. 581 00:39:36,626 --> 00:39:38,027 Please don't tell my mom. 582 00:39:38,192 --> 00:39:40,761 I know it's boring round here, but for fuck's sakes. 583 00:39:40,926 --> 00:39:42,527 I'm gonna get out soon as I can. 584 00:39:42,693 --> 00:39:46,196 I'm gonna work in Vegas as a croupier. Vegas or a cruise liner. 585 00:39:47,125 --> 00:39:51,496 Aim high, Jody. That's what I say. Aim high. 586 00:39:58,359 --> 00:40:00,160 Ben? 587 00:40:02,893 --> 00:40:05,996 You've had an infestation. Of what? 588 00:40:06,292 --> 00:40:07,926 Jody. 589 00:40:29,192 --> 00:40:31,527 Hey, Greg! 590 00:40:31,693 --> 00:40:34,695 I want a word with you. It's Glen, asshole. 591 00:40:34,859 --> 00:40:37,494 You fucking devious bastard. 592 00:40:37,659 --> 00:40:39,961 I'm devious? I'm a bastard? 593 00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:44,095 You think I haven't noticed you've been worming your way in? 594 00:40:44,259 --> 00:40:48,930 You keep your hands off my wife, you low-rent pedant. 595 00:40:49,993 --> 00:40:52,895 You've abused Beth long enough with all of your goddamn lies. 596 00:40:53,059 --> 00:40:54,527 I want you out of my house. 597 00:40:54,693 --> 00:40:57,762 It's Beth's. She made this place. And I fucking paid for it. 598 00:40:57,926 --> 00:41:00,261 I've given Beth all this. What can you give her? 599 00:41:00,426 --> 00:41:04,463 I can give her integrity. Obscure literary shit, 600 00:41:04,626 --> 00:41:06,060 not worth 1 O pence. 601 00:41:06,226 --> 00:41:10,029 You know, if I made my fortune fantasizing about rapes and murders, 602 00:41:10,192 --> 00:41:11,526 I wouldn't be so proud. 603 00:41:11,693 --> 00:41:15,029 You cretin. Fuck you. 604 00:41:15,559 --> 00:41:17,127 Beth will come to her senses. 605 00:41:17,292 --> 00:41:21,596 You need an income to run Stonefield, and mine's bigger than yours. 606 00:41:28,693 --> 00:41:33,397 Get up, Nicholas, come on. Let's talk about this like grown men. 607 00:41:39,626 --> 00:41:42,428 Oh, my God. Nicholas. 608 00:41:42,793 --> 00:41:44,027 Nic-- 609 00:41:44,226 --> 00:41:46,628 Uh... Get up. 610 00:41:54,859 --> 00:41:57,194 Nicholas, get up. 611 00:41:57,593 --> 00:42:00,162 Run. Come on. Get up. 612 00:42:06,859 --> 00:42:09,127 Nicholas. Nicholas. 613 00:42:44,993 --> 00:42:46,761 It was you? 614 00:42:47,993 --> 00:42:50,061 It was you who sent the e-mail? 615 00:42:50,226 --> 00:42:53,495 Jody's explained that she did it out of a deep love for me. 616 00:42:57,693 --> 00:43:00,996 Tammy. Ben. 617 00:43:11,826 --> 00:43:14,528 I think you should have this back. 618 00:43:15,192 --> 00:43:17,127 I'm sorry. 619 00:43:18,559 --> 00:43:21,161 Jody! The dog ! 620 00:44:05,559 --> 00:44:09,462 Got him. The beast. Hm. 621 00:44:37,759 --> 00:44:39,494 Nicholas. 622 00:44:42,059 --> 00:44:45,429 God. Oh, God. Nicholas. 623 00:44:45,593 --> 00:44:47,361 Bitch. Brazen. 624 00:44:48,125 --> 00:44:49,459 Brazen. Beth. 625 00:44:49,626 --> 00:44:53,229 That is brazen. Beth, don't look! Please, don't look! 626 00:44:57,392 --> 00:44:59,293 Nicholas?! 627 00:45:05,659 --> 00:45:06,693 No! 628 00:45:06,859 --> 00:45:10,862 No, but you can see it. It's broken. It's smashed . 629 00:45:12,092 --> 00:45:15,962 No, I haven't, but it's obvious. 630 00:45:17,793 --> 00:45:21,463 Yes, his wife. Yes, she is. 631 00:45:21,626 --> 00:45:24,395 Thank you. Thank you, I will. 632 00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,028 They're on their way. 633 00:45:29,793 --> 00:45:31,661 Beth, help is coming. 634 00:45:31,826 --> 00:45:33,227 Aah! 635 00:45:39,859 --> 00:45:41,760 It's broken. 636 00:46:11,926 --> 00:46:13,560 Tamara. 637 00:46:15,192 --> 00:46:16,860 Listen. 638 00:46:19,359 --> 00:46:21,494 I'm sorry. 639 00:46:22,993 --> 00:46:24,861 Come on. 640 00:46:25,025 --> 00:46:27,427 Are you blaming yourself? 641 00:46:29,526 --> 00:46:30,860 It was an accident. 642 00:46:46,092 --> 00:46:48,494 I'd better get back up to Stonefield. 643 00:46:48,926 --> 00:46:52,629 Come with me. We'll get this sorted. 644 00:46:57,693 --> 00:47:00,462 Then get Ben to take you back to London. 645 00:47:01,092 --> 00:47:03,661 I don't want to be with Ben. 646 00:47:20,392 --> 00:47:22,727 Put it on the back seat right here. 647 00:47:34,559 --> 00:47:35,559 What are you doing? 648 00:47:35,726 --> 00:47:38,128 I figured it was best, you know, that I take off. 649 00:47:38,292 --> 00:47:40,527 She doesn't want writers around the place now. 650 00:47:40,693 --> 00:47:42,795 And police, autopsies, not my thing. 651 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,362 You can't run away. I'm not running away. 652 00:47:45,526 --> 00:47:49,663 I've finished my book. My time here is up. Destiny calls. 653 00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:53,429 Beth is asking for you. Really? 654 00:47:53,659 --> 00:47:55,994 She's on her own over there. 655 00:47:56,593 --> 00:48:01,264 Glen, she doesn't need a writer around the place, 656 00:48:01,759 --> 00:48:03,861 she needs a man. 657 00:48:12,726 --> 00:48:15,061 I'm so sorry. 658 00:48:16,659 --> 00:48:19,161 It was my fault. I let the dog go. 659 00:48:19,326 --> 00:48:21,428 No. No. I shooed him away. 660 00:48:21,593 --> 00:48:24,829 The police said it was an accident, but if I'd caught him, tied him up-- 661 00:48:24,993 --> 00:48:26,227 No, it wasn't your fault. 662 00:48:26,392 --> 00:48:29,595 What I don't understand is why was Nicholas in that field anyway? 663 00:48:29,759 --> 00:48:32,228 He hated cows. And when he saw them coming, 664 00:48:32,392 --> 00:48:37,130 why didn't he get out of their way--? Beth, I have to tell you that-- 665 00:48:49,659 --> 00:48:51,794 You live in the country. 666 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,062 You share it with those dangerous beasts, 667 00:48:54,226 --> 00:48:56,962 and when they get scared, they run. 668 00:48:57,125 --> 00:48:59,126 Like we do. 669 00:49:00,593 --> 00:49:02,161 Oh, Glen. 670 00:49:05,492 --> 00:49:07,594 Stay with me. 671 00:49:41,759 --> 00:49:44,428 Kind of suits you. Don't say anything. 672 00:49:44,593 --> 00:49:46,928 I always did like the old one. 673 00:49:50,159 --> 00:49:53,095 You did it on purpose, didn't you? What? 674 00:49:53,259 --> 00:49:56,295 Made this place so beautiful I'd never be able to leave. 675 00:49:56,459 --> 00:49:58,761 Been dying to get rid of you. 676 00:50:00,059 --> 00:50:01,960 This is my house. 677 00:50:02,726 --> 00:50:06,463 I was born in that room. So you were. 678 00:50:07,593 --> 00:50:09,594 Welcome home. 679 00:50:50,326 --> 00:50:51,794 Pap-pap me. 680 00:50:52,559 --> 00:50:53,793 What? 681 00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,429 Pap-pap me. 682 00:52:14,192 --> 00:52:17,194 ''JAIL-BAIT JODY'' PLAYING''