1
00:00:02,282 --> 00:00:04,546
It looks good.
2
00:00:04,618 --> 00:00:07,883
On the northwest toll, eastbound
traffic is moving nicely this morning...
3
00:00:07,954 --> 00:00:10,218
from Beecham Road
down to River Road.
4
00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:13,384
Westbound, there's now a 20-car
backup at the Devon Avenue toll.
5
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:16,896
And on the northbound I-290
extension at Thorndale Avenue,
6
00:00:16,963 --> 00:00:18,897
we had a spinout there.
7
00:00:18,965 --> 00:00:21,058
And that car was blocking
the right-hand lane...
8
00:00:21,134 --> 00:00:24,570
and also blocking the lane
that's coming off of the, uh,
9
00:00:24,638 --> 00:00:27,402
eastbound Thorndale Avenue
entrance ramp...
10
00:00:27,474 --> 00:00:30,910
leading to the northbound,
uh, I-290 extension.
11
00:00:30,977 --> 00:00:33,468
- This was causing a backup
to Irving Park. We have...
12
00:00:38,118 --> 00:00:40,586
Come on, chop-chop. We got
relatives invading this afternoon.
13
00:00:40,654 --> 00:00:44,647
Ginny, Mike, Sara, Sam!
Come on. Everybody up!
14
00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:49,218
Oh, I think
I have a fever.
15
00:00:49,296 --> 00:00:51,230
You don't have
a fever.
16
00:00:51,298 --> 00:00:53,562
Shut your face.
Make me.
17
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:55,863
Dad,
Mike hit me!
18
00:00:55,936 --> 00:00:59,463
You liar. Mike, come on, pal.
We got a wedding tomorrow.
19
00:00:59,539 --> 00:01:02,508
Try to cooperate, will
ya? Dad, I didn't hit her.
20
00:01:02,576 --> 00:01:06,342
I'd like to very much, and I probably
will later, but gimme a break.
21
00:01:06,413 --> 00:01:09,507
You know my method. I don't hit
her when you're just down the hall.
22
00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:11,676
Pick on someone
your own size.
23
00:01:13,387 --> 00:01:15,321
Open this door.
24
00:01:16,757 --> 00:01:19,521
Daddy, I'm the one
getting married.
25
00:01:19,593 --> 00:01:22,858
Not until tomorrow. I've got
a mouthful of toothpaste.
26
00:01:22,929 --> 00:01:26,387
I happen to have
a serious problem.
27
00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:28,400
Dad.
28
00:01:28,468 --> 00:01:31,437
She got her period. Should make
for an interesting honeymoon, huh?
29
00:01:31,505 --> 00:01:34,702
- Where are you learning that stuff?
- School.
30
00:01:34,775 --> 00:01:37,869
Good. Gettin'
my money's worth.
31
00:01:38,311 --> 00:01:42,213
They were fantastic. Just great.
What a great crowd.
32
00:01:42,282 --> 00:01:45,877
And it was so much fun... dlt's a
good thing you don't have busfare d
33
00:01:45,952 --> 00:01:48,512
dlt would fall through the hole
in your pocket and you'd lose it d
34
00:01:48,588 --> 00:01:50,283
dln the snow on the ground d
35
00:01:50,357 --> 00:01:53,588
d You gotta walk into town
to find a job d
36
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:56,527
d You're trying to keep
your hands warm d
37
00:01:56,596 --> 00:01:59,224
dd
Chronologically, you're 16 today.
38
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:02,325
Physically,
39
00:02:02,402 --> 00:02:06,771
you're still 15.
40
00:02:09,409 --> 00:02:12,037
Hopeless.
41
00:02:14,414 --> 00:02:18,680
Nope. I look exactly the same
as I have since summer.
42
00:02:18,752 --> 00:02:20,686
Utterly forgettable.
43
00:02:20,754 --> 00:02:23,848
No, I didn't expect
to wake up transformed.
44
00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:26,518
I just thought that turning 16
would be so major...
45
00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:30,859
that I'd wake up with an improved
mental state that would show on my face.
46
00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:33,866
All it shows is that I don't
have any sort of a tan left.
47
00:02:35,101 --> 00:02:37,092
I better get downstairs.
48
00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:40,503
My family's probably pissed off I haven't
let them wish me happy birthday yet.
49
00:02:40,574 --> 00:02:43,202
All right.
I'll see you at school.
50
00:02:43,276 --> 00:02:46,268
Dd
51
00:02:48,615 --> 00:02:51,709
You need four inches of bod
and a great birthday.
52
00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:57,549
Where's my briefcase?
Where'd you leave it?
53
00:02:57,624 --> 00:02:59,990
Don't be a smart-ass.
Okay, I'll be a dumb-ass.
54
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:01,994
You already are.
55
00:03:02,062 --> 00:03:04,155
Okay, where's Sam? Where's my briefcase?
56
00:03:04,231 --> 00:03:07,860
Sam? Allow me, Brenda.
Hey, birth defect!
57
00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:10,164
You missed breakfast again.
58
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:13,468
It wasn't my idea to give her
her own phone line.
59
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:15,667
Grab a doughnut.
60
00:03:15,742 --> 00:03:20,008
It's small. It's brown.
It's made of leather.
61
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,844
It has my initials on it.
And I believe... that's it.
62
00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:26,010
Don't forget the grandparents
are coming this afternoon.
63
00:03:26,086 --> 00:03:30,523
Are we still having dinner with the
Rice Chex? Rizczechs. 8:00 at the club.
64
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:33,024
You'd better learn their names.
As of tomorrow, they're family.
65
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:35,027
That's a lovely thought. Hmm.
66
00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:38,064
When it comes your turn to get
married, do me a favor. Elope.
67
00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:40,691
Who'd marry her?
Mr. T.
68
00:03:40,767 --> 00:03:44,863
I'm sorry, you'll have to buy lunch today.
I didn't have time to fix your carrots.
69
00:03:44,938 --> 00:03:48,066
She's only eating carrots to
increase the size of her breasts.
70
00:03:48,141 --> 00:03:51,668
Mister, you had better shape up, or
you will miss your sister's wedding.
71
00:03:51,745 --> 00:03:53,679
Promise?
72
00:03:57,284 --> 00:04:00,219
Now, don't give me
that pouty look of yours.
73
00:04:00,287 --> 00:04:02,721
You can eat your carrots
when you get home.
74
00:04:02,789 --> 00:04:06,316
That's it? You don't have
anything else to say to me today?
75
00:04:06,393 --> 00:04:09,590
What would you like me
to say, Sam?
76
00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:12,826
Come on now, honey.
You're gonna miss the bus.
77
00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:14,833
Have a good day.
78
00:04:17,737 --> 00:04:19,671
I can't believe this.
79
00:04:19,739 --> 00:04:22,731
They fucking
forgot my birthday.
80
00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:27,743
Dd
81
00:06:20,293 --> 00:06:22,955
I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.
82
00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:25,964
They just didn't remember it
right away. Same difference.
83
00:06:26,032 --> 00:06:29,695
It's a drag your sweet 16's the
day before Ginny gets married.
84
00:06:29,769 --> 00:06:32,602
But big deal. They'll remember.
Oh, easy for you to say.
85
00:06:32,672 --> 00:06:35,436
Did anyone ever forget
your birthday? Come on, Sam.
86
00:06:35,508 --> 00:06:39,376
Everything's getting shittier. My family
forgetting my birthday just makes it more vivid.
87
00:06:39,446 --> 00:06:42,142
What do you expect,
a breakfast birthday party?
88
00:06:42,215 --> 00:06:46,948
No, but they could have at least said "happy
birthday. " It was just like any other day.
89
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,954
Why don't you remind them?
90
00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:51,320
They'll feel some massive guilt.
It could be highly profitable.
91
00:06:51,391 --> 00:06:53,655
I wouldn't stoop
to remind them.
92
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:56,161
Since I was about 12, I've been
looking forward to my sweet 16.
93
00:06:56,229 --> 00:07:00,598
You know, a big party and a band,
with tons of people. Tons of people.
94
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:04,103
And a big Trans Am in the
driveway with a ribbon around it.
95
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:07,105
And some incredibly gorgeous
guy that you meet in France.
96
00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:09,437
And you do it on a cloud without
getting pregnant or herpes.
97
00:07:09,509 --> 00:07:11,773
I don't need the cloud. Just a
pink Trans Am and the guy, right?
98
00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:13,779
A black one.
A black guy?
99
00:07:13,847 --> 00:07:16,179
A black Trans Am.
A pink guy.
100
00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:18,183
Oh, no.
101
00:07:18,818 --> 00:07:20,342
D To those nice, nice nights d
102
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:23,412
dl remember always always d
103
00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:26,926
dl got such a fright d
104
00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:29,461
dSeeing them in my dark cupboard d
105
00:07:29,529 --> 00:07:32,396
d With my great big cake d
106
00:07:32,465 --> 00:07:35,525
- dlf they were me
If they were me d
107
00:07:35,602 --> 00:07:38,662
DAnd I was you
And I was you d
108
00:07:38,738 --> 00:07:41,707
dlf they were me
If they were me d
109
00:07:41,775 --> 00:07:44,710
dAnd I was you
And I was you d
110
00:07:44,778 --> 00:07:47,406
dlf they were me
and I was you d
111
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,381
d Would you have liked
a present too d
112
00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:00,282
dHappy, happy birthday
in a hot bath d
113
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,794
d To those nice, nice nights d
114
00:08:02,862 --> 00:08:06,093
dl remember always always d
115
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:09,294
dl got such a fright d
116
00:08:09,369 --> 00:08:12,634
dSeeing them in my dark cupboard d
117
00:08:12,705 --> 00:08:15,674
d With my great big cake d
118
00:08:15,742 --> 00:08:18,142
dlf they were me
If they were me d
119
00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:21,874
dAnd I was you
And I was you d
120
00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:25,008
dlf they were me
If they were me d
121
00:08:25,084 --> 00:08:27,814
dAnd I was you
And I was you d
122
00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:31,914
dlf they were me and I was you d
123
00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:34,459
D Would you have liked
a present too d
124
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,209
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
125
00:08:52,979 --> 00:08:56,312
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
126
00:08:59,185 --> 00:09:02,746
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
127
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:08,488
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
128
00:09:11,397 --> 00:09:15,163
DHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
129
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:21,365
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday dd
130
00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:28,613
You swear to God, you don't have
it? I don't know anything about it.
131
00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:31,616
Jennifer Woods gave me a sex
test during child development.
132
00:09:31,684 --> 00:09:34,949
And I was supposed to do it and
pass it to you in independent study.
133
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:38,787
I'm totally screwed.
Did you put your name on it?
134
00:09:38,858 --> 00:09:41,452
Hi. No, but it was
really embarrassing.
135
00:09:41,527 --> 00:09:43,791
I had to name who I'd do
it with if I ever did it.
136
00:09:43,863 --> 00:09:45,956
Who'd you name?
137
00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:50,298
Jake Ryan. Jake Ryan? He
doesn't even know you exist.
138
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:52,861
Thank you. That's
a very nice thing to say.
139
00:09:52,939 --> 00:09:54,873
I'm sorry.
ButJake Ryan?
140
00:09:54,941 --> 00:09:57,637
He's a senior, and he's
taken. I mean, really taken.
141
00:09:57,710 --> 00:10:00,474
I know. It was
supposed to be my ideal.
142
00:10:00,546 --> 00:10:04,141
He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.
143
00:10:04,217 --> 00:10:07,983
God, I hope whoever got the note
doesn't know it was me who wrote it.
144
00:10:08,054 --> 00:10:09,988
I'd shit twice and die.
145
00:10:13,059 --> 00:10:16,324
Do you know
Samantha Baker?
146
00:10:16,396 --> 00:10:18,990
Sophomore, right?
147
00:10:19,065 --> 00:10:22,330
Yeah. What do
you think of her?
148
00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:25,337
I don't.
149
00:10:25,405 --> 00:10:28,340
Would you ever
go out with her?
150
00:10:28,408 --> 00:10:31,673
Depends on how much
you paid me.
151
00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:34,338
She's not ugly.
152
00:10:34,414 --> 00:10:36,848
There's nothin'
there, man.
153
00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:39,851
It's not ugly.
It's just... void.
154
00:10:39,919 --> 00:10:42,513
You know what I mean?
There's somethin' about her.
155
00:10:42,588 --> 00:10:45,682
I do independent study with her.
I catch her lookin' at me a lot.
156
00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:49,023
It's kinda cool, the way
she's always lookin' at me.
157
00:10:49,095 --> 00:10:51,359
Maybe she's retarded.
158
00:10:51,431 --> 00:10:53,365
I'm bein' serious, okay?
159
00:10:53,433 --> 00:10:56,368
She looks at me like
she's in love with me.
160
00:10:56,436 --> 00:10:58,870
Jake,
she's a child.
161
00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:02,305
So? So what're you gonna do with her?
162
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:05,811
She's obviously too
young to party serious.
163
00:11:05,878 --> 00:11:09,314
Maybe I'm interested
in more than a party.
164
00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:12,317
Come on, Jake. You talk
like you're hard up.
165
00:11:12,385 --> 00:11:14,819
You got Caroline.
Now she's a woman.
166
00:11:17,657 --> 00:11:20,148
It's unbelievable.
167
00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:24,162
I swear to God, Caroline Mulford
had to flunk about nine grades.
168
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,425
Truly makes me ill.
169
00:11:26,499 --> 00:11:28,433
She's perfect.
170
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:32,961
Practically impossible to cut
up. She's supposedly real sweet.
171
00:11:33,039 --> 00:11:36,440
Brother's deaf, and everybody
in the world worships her.
172
00:11:36,509 --> 00:11:38,443
And she's going with Jake.
173
00:11:38,511 --> 00:11:41,503
Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.
174
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,514
My man.
175
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:46,450
Dd
176
00:11:58,564 --> 00:12:01,590
I loathe the bus.
177
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,806
There has to be a more
dignified mode of transportation.
178
00:12:10,877 --> 00:12:13,471
I hope you get a car for
your birthday, and a license.
179
00:12:13,546 --> 00:12:16,447
Let's not hold our breath.
180
00:12:18,718 --> 00:12:21,152
Score... a direct hit.
181
00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:24,923
On second thought.
182
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:31,396
Dd
183
00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:39,529
Dd
184
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:47,278
DHey dd
185
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,350
Move it.!
186
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,795
Call me, okay? You call me first.
Tell me what happened at home.
187
00:13:03,863 --> 00:13:06,457
I can tell you
right now. Nothing.
188
00:13:06,532 --> 00:13:09,933
Will you quit feeling sorry for
yourself? It's bad for your complexion!
189
00:13:10,002 --> 00:13:12,937
Dd
190
00:13:30,556 --> 00:13:32,490
How's it goin'?
191
00:13:32,558 --> 00:13:34,492
How's what going?
192
00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:39,494
You know, things,
life, whatnot.
193
00:13:39,565 --> 00:13:42,500
Life is not whatnot,
and it's none of your business.
194
00:13:46,072 --> 00:13:48,506
Hmm. So you goin' to the new
faces dance tonight, or...
195
00:13:48,574 --> 00:13:51,008
That's also none
of your business.
196
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,841
Are you inhibited
about dancing in public?
197
00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:59,180
I mean,
you don't have to dance.
198
00:13:59,252 --> 00:14:02,949
Maybe you could just stand there with
me and my dudes and just be you, and... -
199
00:14:03,022 --> 00:14:04,956
Sounds major.
200
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,953
So, I mean, what's the story?
I mean, you got a guy, or...
201
00:14:10,029 --> 00:14:12,623
Yes, three big ones,
and they lust wimp blood.
202
00:14:12,698 --> 00:14:16,964
So quit bugging me, or I'll sic
them all over your weenie ass.
203
00:14:17,036 --> 00:14:19,800
You know, I'm getting input here that
I'm reading as relatively hostile.
204
00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:22,966
I mean, it's just...
Go to hell.
205
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:24,976
Very hostile.
206
00:14:27,213 --> 00:14:31,149
Come on, what's the problem
here? I'm a boy, you're a girl.
207
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:36,314
Is there anything wrong with me tryin' to put
together some kind of relationship between us?
208
00:14:36,389 --> 00:14:39,324
Look, I know you have to go.
Just answer one question.
209
00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:41,326
Yes, you're
a total fag.
210
00:14:41,394 --> 00:14:44,830
That's not the question.
211
00:14:44,897 --> 00:14:46,831
Am I turning you on?
212
00:14:55,741 --> 00:14:57,834
It's encouraging.
213
00:14:57,910 --> 00:15:00,435
Very encouraging.
Yeah, uh-huh.
214
00:15:00,513 --> 00:15:02,947
You know, a girl with a hat
is just so... Whew.
215
00:15:03,015 --> 00:15:06,280
So vogue.
Uh, y-yeah.
216
00:15:17,463 --> 00:15:20,830
Dd
217
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:24,563
Where are my blue socks,
Dorothy?
218
00:15:24,637 --> 00:15:27,629
You mean you didn't pack them?
Oh, not again, Howard.
219
00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:30,301
Can't I trust you
to do anything?
220
00:15:30,376 --> 00:15:32,503
Do you expect me to do
all the packing?
221
00:15:32,578 --> 00:15:36,708
Well, at least
I brought this for you. It...
222
00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:40,548
Sam.!
Samantha.
223
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:42,815
Look.
Oh, look.
224
00:15:42,888 --> 00:15:46,585
- Hi!
- Hi!
225
00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:48,923
Oh, God.
226
00:15:48,995 --> 00:15:52,988
Oh, sweetheart!
227
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:57,297
My goodness, are you
a sight for sore eyes.
228
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:59,463
Oh, good!
229
00:15:59,538 --> 00:16:03,406
Just look. How are you,
my little lamb chop? Hello!
230
00:16:03,476 --> 00:16:05,410
I'm fine, Grandpa.
231
00:16:05,478 --> 00:16:08,606
- How are you guys?
- Oh, pretty good. Of course, I get lower back pain.
232
00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:12,617
Oh, my corns are killing me. My arthritis
in my fingers bothers me quite a bit...
233
00:16:12,685 --> 00:16:15,347
So are you, uh...
You're sleeping up here?
234
00:16:15,421 --> 00:16:17,355
Yeah.
Yeah.
235
00:16:17,423 --> 00:16:21,291
Your grandfather Fred jumped our claim
on Sara's room. So here we are up here.
236
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,729
Well, I haven't seen you in a while.
Do I look any older today?
237
00:16:25,798 --> 00:16:28,096
Oh, no, no. I wouldn't
say so. Do you think so?
238
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:30,635
No. Oh, I hope
it isn't cold tomorrow.
239
00:16:30,703 --> 00:16:32,364
You know Ginny.
240
00:16:32,438 --> 00:16:35,066
It's not gonna be cold. She'll refuse
to wear a coat over her wedding dress.
241
00:16:35,107 --> 00:16:38,372
If she does, you mustn't bug
her... I'm not gonna bug her...
242
00:16:38,444 --> 00:16:41,971
I'm gonna go set myself up in Mike's
room. So I'll see you guys later.
243
00:16:42,048 --> 00:16:44,482
Okay, sweetheart.
- Look, there she goes.
244
00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:47,747
Your grandpa and I are looking
forward to a nice, long visit with you.
245
00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:49,754
Aces.
We certainly are.
246
00:16:49,822 --> 00:16:54,919
See you a little later, darling.
We've got a lot to...
247
00:16:54,994 --> 00:16:59,328
I swear to God,
this has got to be a joke.
248
00:16:59,398 --> 00:17:02,094
Grandparents forgetting
a birthday?
249
00:17:02,168 --> 00:17:06,070
They live for that shit.
250
00:17:06,138 --> 00:17:08,538
D Put my arms around you dd
251
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:12,304
Well, well, if it isn't
Sammy Baker...
252
00:17:12,378 --> 00:17:14,972
Davis, Junior.
253
00:17:15,047 --> 00:17:17,811
Hi, Grandpa. Oh, I've got one for ya.
254
00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:19,817
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
255
00:17:19,885 --> 00:17:21,819
Who.
Who, who?
256
00:17:21,887 --> 00:17:25,948
Helen, we've got an owl
out here in the hall.
257
00:17:28,027 --> 00:17:30,791
Oh, Fred, Fred,
leave her alone.
258
00:17:30,863 --> 00:17:33,297
You'll make her tinkle.
Oh, come on, Helen.
259
00:17:33,366 --> 00:17:36,494
Oh, Sam, let me
look at you.
260
00:17:36,569 --> 00:17:38,799
Oh.
261
00:17:38,871 --> 00:17:41,169
Fred, she's gotten
her boobies.
262
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,971
I'd better go get
my magnifying glass.
263
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:48,309
Oh, and they are
so perky!
264
00:18:00,526 --> 00:18:04,929
I can't believe my grandmother
actually felt me up.
265
00:18:10,703 --> 00:18:14,195
What's happenin',
hot stuff?
266
00:18:14,273 --> 00:18:17,436
His name is
Long Duk Dong.
267
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:20,274
What?
Long Duk Dong.
268
00:18:20,346 --> 00:18:22,940
He came down with
Grandma and Grandpa Baker.
269
00:18:23,015 --> 00:18:25,540
He's an exchange student
that's living with them.
270
00:18:25,618 --> 00:18:29,281
Yeah, well, he's totally bizarre.
He is not.
271
00:18:29,355 --> 00:18:31,949
He is a very
sweet boy.
272
00:18:32,024 --> 00:18:35,960
I just hope you burn the sheets
and mattresses after he leaves.
273
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:38,622
I don't suppose it makes
any difference to you,
274
00:18:38,697 --> 00:18:41,063
but there's a very weird
Chinese guy up in Mike's room.
275
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:44,068
Ginny dumped Rudy.
He's her new fiancee.
276
00:18:44,136 --> 00:18:46,104
Mike, stop it.
277
00:18:46,172 --> 00:18:49,938
Sam, honey, do you think you could
help the grandmothers with supper?
278
00:18:50,009 --> 00:18:52,637
Dad and I have to go to the club
for dinner with the Rice Chex.
279
00:18:52,711 --> 00:18:55,680
Rizczechs.
Oh. Rizczechs.
280
00:18:56,048 --> 00:18:57,811
Uh, do you think
that there's any reason...
281
00:18:57,883 --> 00:19:01,080
that I should
possibly stay home tonight?
282
00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:03,246
Well, it might be nice
if you'd visit...
283
00:19:03,322 --> 00:19:05,756
with your grandparents
and Long Duk Dong.
284
00:19:05,825 --> 00:19:07,759
Who?
285
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:10,591
The weird Chinese guy
in Mike's room. Oh.
286
00:19:10,663 --> 00:19:14,599
- I think I have a dance to go to.
- Well, that's okay.
287
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:18,626
Oh, can you remember
to turn off the stove in 20 minutes?
288
00:19:18,704 --> 00:19:21,195
I can remember lots of things.
289
00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:29,611
This is the single
worst day of my entire life.
290
00:19:29,682 --> 00:19:31,616
What the hell
are you bitchin' about?
291
00:19:31,684 --> 00:19:34,778
I gotta sleep under some Chinaman
named after a duck's dork.
292
00:19:34,854 --> 00:19:37,152
Well, where am I sleeping?
293
00:19:37,223 --> 00:19:39,282
Sofa City, sweetheart.
294
00:19:39,358 --> 00:19:43,727
Dd
295
00:19:45,364 --> 00:19:48,299
Do you think Grandpa Fred's
going to embarrass me?
296
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,859
I don't know why not.
He does to everyone else.
297
00:19:51,937 --> 00:19:56,636
He already asked me if Rudy
was the oily variety bohunk.
298
00:19:56,709 --> 00:19:59,906
Is he?
Don't be cute.
299
00:20:01,213 --> 00:20:03,613
I really love Rudy.
300
00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:06,651
And he is totally
enamored of me.
301
00:20:08,587 --> 00:20:11,488
I mean, I've had men
who've loved me before,
302
00:20:11,557 --> 00:20:15,152
but not for six months
in a row.
303
00:20:15,227 --> 00:20:17,286
I think I'm in love.
304
00:20:17,363 --> 00:20:20,264
So how long have you been
in love, hmm?
305
00:20:20,332 --> 00:20:23,267
Well, it hasn't
really happened yet.
306
00:20:23,335 --> 00:20:26,168
So what's the deal?
307
00:20:27,673 --> 00:20:30,938
I'm not sure
that he knows I exist.
308
00:20:32,244 --> 00:20:35,441
Sam, I really don't
have time for this.
309
00:20:35,514 --> 00:20:38,005
Well, I'm sorry.
310
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:41,075
I always listen to you talk
about your boyfriends.
311
00:20:41,153 --> 00:20:44,179
Darling, is something
bothering you?
312
00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:51,863
You're really acting like...
an asshole.
313
00:20:52,932 --> 00:20:55,662
And I think
I know what it is.
314
00:20:55,734 --> 00:20:58,362
I think you're jealous
that I'm getting married...
315
00:20:58,437 --> 00:21:01,964
and that I'm getting
all the attention, hmm?
316
00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:04,475
You know, everybody
in this family...
317
00:21:04,543 --> 00:21:06,977
has just gone
totally Outer Limits.
318
00:21:07,046 --> 00:21:08,980
No, Sam.
319
00:21:09,048 --> 00:21:12,984
I think you're just being
a little selfish and immature.
320
00:21:14,386 --> 00:21:17,321
Oh, yes. That's it.
321
00:21:17,389 --> 00:21:19,323
That's exactly it.
322
00:21:20,993 --> 00:21:23,427
Unbelievable.
323
00:21:23,495 --> 00:21:26,828
You make someone a bridesmaid,
and they shit all over you.
324
00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:38,476
Very clever dinner.
325
00:21:38,544 --> 00:21:44,005
Appetizing food fit neatly
into interesting round pie.
326
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:47,519
- It's a quiche.
- Hmm. How do you spell?
327
00:21:47,586 --> 00:21:50,885
Well, you don't spell it, son.
You eat it.
328
00:21:52,558 --> 00:21:55,493
Dong has only been in
our country a short time, Fred.
329
00:21:55,561 --> 00:21:59,429
- I think we could all help him assimilate.
- Oh.
330
00:21:59,498 --> 00:22:02,558
Long Duk Dong is
about your age, Sam.
331
00:22:02,635 --> 00:22:04,762
You two should have
a lot to chat about.
332
00:22:04,837 --> 00:22:09,035
I love, uh, visiting
with Grandma and Grandpa...
333
00:22:09,108 --> 00:22:11,508
and writing letters
to parents...
334
00:22:11,577 --> 00:22:13,943
and pushing
lawn-mowing machine...
335
00:22:14,013 --> 00:22:17,972
so Grandpa's hyena
don't get disturbed.
336
00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:20,985
Hernia!
337
00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:23,453
Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeedy.
338
00:22:23,522 --> 00:22:27,458
He does the dishes and helps
with the laundry. You betcha.
339
00:22:27,526 --> 00:22:31,724
May I be excused?
340
00:22:31,797 --> 00:22:34,630
Where are you going?
341
00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:37,692
I have a dance to go to...
at school.
342
00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:40,364
It's a very important dance.
343
00:22:40,439 --> 00:22:43,374
Uh, we're being graded on it...
for gym.
344
00:22:43,442 --> 00:22:47,310
Wait a minute.
I have a wonderful idea.
345
00:22:47,379 --> 00:22:51,110
Would you like to go
to the dance with Sam?
346
00:22:54,586 --> 00:22:56,952
Dd
347
00:23:14,873 --> 00:23:16,807
I wonder ifJake's here.
348
00:23:16,875 --> 00:23:20,140
I don't think it's healthy to get jacked
about some guy that isn't a thing yet.
349
00:23:20,212 --> 00:23:23,477
Yeah, when you don't have anything,
you don't have anything to lose, right?
350
00:23:23,549 --> 00:23:25,483
That's a cheerful thought.
351
00:23:25,551 --> 00:23:27,644
Let's go make
ourselves available.
352
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,655
Dd
353
00:23:45,070 --> 00:23:47,834
That's the one, dude.
Scope it out.
354
00:23:47,906 --> 00:23:50,636
She doesn't look like a freshman.
Sophomore, dude. Sophomore.
355
00:23:50,709 --> 00:23:53,143
Fully aged sophomore meat.
356
00:23:56,582 --> 00:23:58,846
We do the bus together. You talk to her?
357
00:23:58,917 --> 00:24:01,442
Talk? Dude, I have a
relationship with her. Get out.
358
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,114
Figure to, like,
17 digits.
359
00:24:04,189 --> 00:24:06,123
You are such a liar.
360
00:24:06,191 --> 00:24:08,625
We'll see about that,
my man.
361
00:24:08,694 --> 00:24:13,131
By night's end, I predict
me and her will interface.
362
00:24:13,198 --> 00:24:16,133
Dd
363
00:24:18,137 --> 00:24:21,664
DAhh d
364
00:24:27,179 --> 00:24:31,172
dAhh d
365
00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:33,912
dl know this d
366
00:24:33,986 --> 00:24:37,080
dMuch is true d
367
00:24:37,156 --> 00:24:40,353
dAhh d
368
00:24:40,425 --> 00:24:43,986
dl know this... dd Check it out, Wease.
369
00:24:46,532 --> 00:24:49,660
Pretty intense, huh?
Over. To the max. Over.
370
00:25:01,446 --> 00:25:06,076
All right.
371
00:25:06,151 --> 00:25:08,085
Dd
I knew you'd come around.
372
00:25:08,153 --> 00:25:10,917
Whoa.
Christ.
373
00:25:12,524 --> 00:25:15,118
Crank that, sister!
D Whoa d
374
00:25:23,368 --> 00:25:25,302
Very hot. Very hot.
375
00:25:25,370 --> 00:25:27,304
This night... This night
is happenin'.
376
00:25:27,372 --> 00:25:29,306
D Whoa, whoa, whoa dd
377
00:25:33,178 --> 00:25:35,112
I'm blowing your mind,
aren't I?
378
00:25:37,716 --> 00:25:40,150
I'm just getting warmed up.
379
00:25:54,333 --> 00:25:56,767
Ow. Excuse me.
380
00:26:08,013 --> 00:26:10,777
Dd
381
00:26:29,534 --> 00:26:32,469
Way to go, dick-face.
She took off.
382
00:26:32,537 --> 00:26:36,132
Don't spaz out. Okay, Wease?
The situation'll come on-line.
383
00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:39,974
Yeah? I'll bet you a dozen floppy
disks you don't even get tit.
384
00:26:40,045 --> 00:26:42,809
You got a bet, scumbag.
I'll get it all.
385
00:26:42,881 --> 00:26:46,317
Take off. You wouldn't be
able to prove it anyway.
386
00:26:46,385 --> 00:26:48,319
"A," don't hit me.
387
00:26:48,387 --> 00:26:51,481
Secondly, what kind
of proof do you want?
388
00:26:51,556 --> 00:26:53,490
Video.
Video.
389
00:26:53,558 --> 00:26:56,083
No way. I can just see the thing
getting duped a thousand times...
390
00:26:56,161 --> 00:26:58,721
and winding up on cable
somewhere.
391
00:26:58,797 --> 00:27:00,765
Try again.
392
00:27:00,832 --> 00:27:02,766
Underpants.
Underpants.
393
00:27:05,003 --> 00:27:06,937
No problem,
butt-lick.
394
00:27:15,380 --> 00:27:18,008
Girls' underpants.
D One, two d
395
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:21,246
dAnd your girlfriend
sweet little 17 d
396
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,187
DShe's got her layered hair
and her flaredjeans d
397
00:27:24,256 --> 00:27:27,191
d You know what that means
She's just a little queen d
398
00:27:27,259 --> 00:27:29,727
dShe shares your London flat d
399
00:27:29,795 --> 00:27:32,730
dShe thinks that London's
where it's at d
400
00:27:32,798 --> 00:27:35,596
dAlthough it stinks and when it rains
you wear your hat d
401
00:27:35,667 --> 00:27:39,467
dAnd your plum-colored PVc
wet-look maxi mac d
402
00:27:39,538 --> 00:27:42,166
d You tie your ginger hair
back in a bun d
403
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,971
D You're the ugliest creature
under the sun d
404
00:27:46,044 --> 00:27:48,638
dd
405
00:27:48,714 --> 00:27:50,682
So what's your name?
406
00:27:50,749 --> 00:27:52,683
Dong.
407
00:27:52,751 --> 00:27:54,810
What's your first name?
408
00:27:54,886 --> 00:27:57,650
Long.
409
00:27:57,723 --> 00:27:59,987
What's your middle name?
410
00:28:00,058 --> 00:28:01,992
Duk.
411
00:28:03,662 --> 00:28:07,564
I bet all the boys chase you
plenty in the school, huh?
412
00:28:07,632 --> 00:28:09,600
Nobody's caught me yet.
413
00:28:09,668 --> 00:28:11,932
Hmm. I betcha you big teaser, huh?
414
00:28:12,004 --> 00:28:15,667
No. I run the 40
in five flat.
415
00:28:16,742 --> 00:28:18,676
Flat?
416
00:28:22,047 --> 00:28:24,607
Hey.
Oh, I'm really sorry, man.
417
00:28:24,683 --> 00:28:27,447
Whatever I did was an accid...
I- I-I didn't mean to...
418
00:28:27,519 --> 00:28:29,453
Relax.
419
00:28:34,526 --> 00:28:38,292
You... You were dancin'
with a girl?
420
00:28:38,363 --> 00:28:41,298
Oh, man, I'm really...
I'm really sorry, man.
421
00:28:41,366 --> 00:28:44,802
I must've been on drugs five
minutes ago. Do you know her?
422
00:28:44,870 --> 00:28:48,306
She grabbed me, guy. I'm
totally innocent. Is she yours?
423
00:28:48,373 --> 00:28:50,807
Dd What do you know about her?
424
00:28:50,876 --> 00:28:54,312
Dd She has smallish tits. Decent voice.
425
00:28:54,379 --> 00:28:57,314
Smells pretty good.
She drives me crazy.
426
00:28:57,382 --> 00:28:59,316
Did she come here
with you?
427
00:28:59,384 --> 00:29:03,411
No, no. But if it's okay with
my dad, she's goin' home with me.
428
00:29:04,489 --> 00:29:06,423
Excuse me.
429
00:29:16,201 --> 00:29:18,135
Do you guys want
to blow off this dance?
430
00:29:18,203 --> 00:29:21,263
- Yes.
- I am bored to the brink of insanity.
431
00:29:21,339 --> 00:29:24,775
- And go where?
- Jake's parent's aren't home. We can do his house.
432
00:29:24,843 --> 00:29:28,279
- How's it goin'?
- Fine.
433
00:29:28,346 --> 00:29:31,440
Let's party light. Jake's paranoid
about his house getting trashed.
434
00:29:31,516 --> 00:29:33,746
Again.!
435
00:29:33,819 --> 00:29:37,550
D One single moment
The hours I spend d
436
00:29:37,622 --> 00:29:42,286
dd
437
00:29:50,035 --> 00:29:51,969
Oof!
438
00:30:03,215 --> 00:30:05,149
Okay.
439
00:30:06,218 --> 00:30:08,152
All right.
440
00:30:12,057 --> 00:30:14,992
Just tryin' to get
a little bit of water.
441
00:30:15,060 --> 00:30:17,028
Yeah.
442
00:30:17,095 --> 00:30:20,030
Dd
443
00:30:21,399 --> 00:30:23,833
Yes, I'm back.
444
00:30:23,902 --> 00:30:25,836
So I smell.
445
00:30:25,904 --> 00:30:27,929
It's my shaving cream.
446
00:30:28,006 --> 00:30:31,498
You wanna feel a real clean,
close shave? I'll pass.
447
00:30:31,576 --> 00:30:34,272
Couldn't find
anyone else to bug, huh?
448
00:30:34,346 --> 00:30:37,076
Come on. You know you're
the one I want to bug, huh?
449
00:30:37,149 --> 00:30:40,846
This is my friend, Randy.
And that's Jimmy Montrose.
450
00:30:40,919 --> 00:30:42,853
Howdy, dude.
This is Farmer Fred.
451
00:30:42,921 --> 00:30:45,856
Ted.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is Farmer Ted.
452
00:30:45,924 --> 00:30:48,051
I'm not really a farmer.
I'm a freshman.
453
00:30:48,126 --> 00:30:50,253
Geek, can I be
honest with you?
454
00:30:50,328 --> 00:30:53,126
Not if you're gonna
insult me.
455
00:30:53,198 --> 00:30:55,223
Okay.
456
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:57,234
Shoot.
457
00:30:57,302 --> 00:31:02,137
- Get the hell outta here.
- Nice! Nice manners, babe!
458
00:31:02,207 --> 00:31:04,368
She's totally serious,
ass-wipe.
459
00:31:04,442 --> 00:31:06,876
Chill.
460
00:31:11,783 --> 00:31:14,718
You wanna split
with me? L...
461
00:31:16,121 --> 00:31:18,988
I don't know. You know, my
mom, I can't handle this.
462
00:31:19,057 --> 00:31:21,321
She tells me, "You want somethin',
you gotta ask for it. "
463
00:31:21,393 --> 00:31:23,327
I mean, I'm not
the kinda guy...
464
00:31:23,395 --> 00:31:27,331
It's embarrassing for me.
I don't know. I just...
465
00:31:27,399 --> 00:31:29,333
It's just...
466
00:32:15,213 --> 00:32:18,307
I'm really sorry about
what happened in the gym.
467
00:32:18,383 --> 00:32:21,318
L- I had no idea
you couldn't dance.
468
00:32:47,579 --> 00:32:50,844
What a decent night,
huh? It's my birthday.
469
00:32:53,685 --> 00:32:56,677
D You say it's your birthday d
470
00:32:56,755 --> 00:32:58,689
d It's my birthday too dd
471
00:32:58,757 --> 00:33:00,884
dd
Don't do that, okay?
472
00:33:03,194 --> 00:33:06,630
D Hey, Jude dd
Just stop it, okay?
473
00:33:06,698 --> 00:33:09,360
I mean, it's really been
a shitty birthday for me.
474
00:33:09,434 --> 00:33:13,131
No offense, but I don't need
a serenade right how.
475
00:33:13,204 --> 00:33:15,468
What's wrong? You didn't
get anything good, or...
476
00:33:15,540 --> 00:33:18,304
I didn't get shit.
Not even a "happy birthday. "
477
00:33:18,376 --> 00:33:21,402
My whole family
just sort of blew it off.
478
00:33:23,715 --> 00:33:26,878
I'd freak if my family forgot my
birthday. It's a brand-new year.
479
00:33:26,951 --> 00:33:29,385
I'm 16. Everything
should be platinum.
480
00:33:29,454 --> 00:33:32,321
I should be happy, right? Right?
Yeah.
481
00:33:32,390 --> 00:33:34,324
Well, I can't get happy.
482
00:33:34,392 --> 00:33:37,418
It is physically impossible
for me to get happy.
483
00:33:40,165 --> 00:33:43,100
Would you feel better if you
knew one of my secrets, or...
484
00:33:43,168 --> 00:33:45,602
Don't gross me out.
485
00:33:45,670 --> 00:33:48,104
No, we're not talking
gross here.
486
00:33:48,173 --> 00:33:51,108
No. It's...
It's just embarrassing.
487
00:33:55,814 --> 00:33:59,682
This information
cannot leave this room, okay?
488
00:33:59,751 --> 00:34:02,811
It would devastate
my reputation as a dude.
489
00:34:02,887 --> 00:34:04,821
No problem.
490
00:34:09,961 --> 00:34:11,895
I've never bagged a babe.
491
00:34:14,966 --> 00:34:16,900
I'm not a stud.
492
00:34:20,872 --> 00:34:23,306
I got the rep
in sixth grade.
493
00:34:23,375 --> 00:34:25,468
And it, like,
it stuck with me.
494
00:34:25,543 --> 00:34:27,477
I'm still on hold.
495
00:34:29,714 --> 00:34:32,979
Look, I'd appreciate
you not laughing here, okay?
496
00:34:33,051 --> 00:34:34,985
I'm sorry.
497
00:34:36,054 --> 00:34:37,988
That's not what I meant.
498
00:34:40,558 --> 00:34:42,492
I meant...
499
00:34:44,062 --> 00:34:47,498
Hey, time out,
junior.
500
00:34:49,567 --> 00:34:51,501
Pardon me.
501
00:34:56,241 --> 00:34:58,175
It's okay.
502
00:35:02,013 --> 00:35:04,607
I meant that it's okay
that you did it once,
503
00:35:04,682 --> 00:35:08,277
but I didn't mean
for you to do it again!
504
00:35:08,353 --> 00:35:10,617
I'm sorry.
505
00:35:10,688 --> 00:35:12,622
Sorry.
506
00:35:15,193 --> 00:35:18,287
You know, just now I really
felt how much you like me.
507
00:35:19,697 --> 00:35:23,690
You're probably zoning in
on my brain waves or something.
508
00:35:23,768 --> 00:35:26,703
Well, not really.
I felt it on my leg.
509
00:35:27,772 --> 00:35:31,230
Come on.
I don't want to see it!
510
00:35:33,144 --> 00:35:35,078
Oh.
511
00:35:35,146 --> 00:35:37,910
Sorry if I embarrassed you.
512
00:35:37,982 --> 00:35:39,916
I'm not embarrassed.
513
00:35:39,984 --> 00:35:42,919
Fresh breath's a priority in my life.
514
00:35:45,557 --> 00:35:47,491
I don't want
to hurt your feelings,
515
00:35:47,559 --> 00:35:51,017
'cause it's really human of you
to listen to my bullshit.
516
00:35:51,095 --> 00:35:54,326
I care about it, really.
I mean...
517
00:35:54,399 --> 00:35:58,836
I know I came on kinda like a poozer
on the bus tonight and everything.
518
00:35:58,903 --> 00:36:02,168
But that's just so my friends
won't think, you know, I'm a jerk.
519
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:04,674
But they're all pretty much
jerks, though, aren't they?
520
00:36:04,742 --> 00:36:09,941
Yeah, but the thing is,
I'm kinda like the leader.
521
00:36:10,014 --> 00:36:12,244
Kinda like the king
of the dipshits.
522
00:36:12,317 --> 00:36:16,276
Well, that's pretty cool. Hey,
but a lot can happen over a year.
523
00:36:16,354 --> 00:36:19,585
I mean, you could come back next
fall as a completely normal person.
524
00:36:19,657 --> 00:36:22,592
Yeah?
Sure.
525
00:36:27,131 --> 00:36:30,066
Would it be totally
off the wall if...
526
00:36:31,202 --> 00:36:33,466
if I asked if I could
have sex with you?
527
00:36:36,708 --> 00:36:39,768
Yeah, well, you askin' me is not
as off the wall as why I won't.
528
00:36:39,844 --> 00:36:43,644
- V.D.?
- No.
529
00:36:43,715 --> 00:36:47,151
I'm sorta saving myself.
530
00:36:47,218 --> 00:36:50,915
It's really stupid.
He doesn't even know I exist.
531
00:36:50,989 --> 00:36:54,991
Who?
532
00:36:56,060 --> 00:36:58,324
Jake Ryan.
533
00:36:58,396 --> 00:37:00,330
You likeJake?
534
00:37:00,398 --> 00:37:02,628
Ja...
Jake's my boy!
535
00:37:02,700 --> 00:37:04,930
I just talked toJake
in the gym.
536
00:37:05,003 --> 00:37:06,937
He asked me about you. Did not!
537
00:37:07,005 --> 00:37:10,270
He did too. He did!
He asked me what you were like.
538
00:37:10,341 --> 00:37:14,744
Oh, my... Oh! If you're lying, I'll
beat the crap outta you. I'm not lying.
539
00:37:14,812 --> 00:37:18,441
Oh, my God! What should I
do? Should I go up to him?
540
00:37:18,516 --> 00:37:21,610
Should I say, "Hi, Jake, I'm Samantha"?
Maybe I should let him come to me.
541
00:37:21,686 --> 00:37:25,952
This is not my department. But what if
I let him come to me, and he forgets?
542
00:37:26,024 --> 00:37:29,289
What if he changes his mind?
Then I'm totally screwed, right?
543
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,624
Apparently so.
544
00:37:31,696 --> 00:37:34,324
What would you do
if you were me?
545
00:37:35,700 --> 00:37:37,634
I'm a gamblin' man
by nature.
546
00:37:37,702 --> 00:37:40,967
And, um,
I'd go for it.
547
00:37:41,039 --> 00:37:44,668
This is so strange. But I think
I will. Oh, you're the best.
548
00:37:47,879 --> 00:37:50,814
- Wait, um...
- What?
549
00:37:50,882 --> 00:37:52,850
Do you know anything
about floppy disks?
550
00:37:52,917 --> 00:37:57,877
We'll talk about this on the bus,
okay? The thing is, I got a problem.
551
00:37:57,956 --> 00:38:00,254
Floppy disks
are pretty expensive.
552
00:38:00,325 --> 00:38:03,726
I made a bet with my
friends, the... the dipshits.
553
00:38:03,795 --> 00:38:06,229
Um,
554
00:38:06,297 --> 00:38:08,731
I bet them
that I'd do it with you.
555
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,201
This was before I knew you. I can
get proof without getting physical.
556
00:38:12,270 --> 00:38:14,830
How?
557
00:38:16,074 --> 00:38:19,009
Can I borrow your underpants
for ten minutes?
558
00:38:19,077 --> 00:38:21,136
DHope you're feelin'd
559
00:38:21,212 --> 00:38:25,376
d Time d
560
00:38:25,450 --> 00:38:27,384
dd
561
00:38:30,021 --> 00:38:33,616
I think it's time to blow this
thing off and go to your house. Yeah?
562
00:38:33,691 --> 00:38:36,626
I told Tracy and Robin and those guys
to come to your parents' house, okay?
563
00:38:36,694 --> 00:38:38,787
I told 'em
not to tell anybody.
564
00:38:38,863 --> 00:38:41,627
God, I love it when
your parents are out of town,
565
00:38:41,699 --> 00:38:43,633
I fantasize
that I'm your wife,
566
00:38:43,701 --> 00:38:46,932
and we're the richest,
most popular adults in town.
567
00:38:47,005 --> 00:38:49,530
I owe all my great weekends
to you.
568
00:38:51,376 --> 00:38:54,004
What's your problem?
What?
569
00:38:54,078 --> 00:38:57,844
You've been acting weird all
night. Are you screwing around?
570
00:38:57,915 --> 00:39:00,315
Me? Are you crazy?
571
00:39:00,385 --> 00:39:02,580
I don't know, Jake.
572
00:39:02,654 --> 00:39:05,589
I'm getting strange signals.
Well, they're not comin' from me.
573
00:39:05,657 --> 00:39:08,251
Everything's fine.
Don't have a cow.
574
00:39:08,326 --> 00:39:10,260
Okay.
575
00:39:10,328 --> 00:39:12,592
Just remember one thing.
576
00:39:12,664 --> 00:39:15,929
I can name 20 guys
who'd kill to love me.
577
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,299
Is that a threat? It's a fact, Jake.
578
00:39:19,370 --> 00:39:23,932
Come on. Before we get in a big,
wicked fight, let's get outta here, huh?
579
00:39:27,845 --> 00:39:30,939
Hi, Jake. I'm Samantha.
How's it goin'?
580
00:39:34,018 --> 00:39:35,952
Do you got a cigarette?
581
00:39:39,190 --> 00:39:41,624
Jake, this may sound
incredibly dumb,
582
00:39:41,693 --> 00:39:44,628
but I love you, and I'll do
anything to make you love me.
583
00:39:46,531 --> 00:39:48,465
I love your shirt.
584
00:39:52,036 --> 00:39:54,470
Jake, you're not
gonna believe this,
585
00:39:54,539 --> 00:39:57,975
but I had this very bizarre
dream, and you were in it.
586
00:40:01,646 --> 00:40:05,047
For heaven's sake.!
Get in there and dance.!
587
00:40:05,116 --> 00:40:07,983
I can't. They won't like me!
I'm not gonna tell you again!
588
00:40:08,052 --> 00:40:11,021
Just act like a man! I wanna go
home.! I wanna be with you guys.!
589
00:40:11,089 --> 00:40:14,024
Dd
590
00:40:24,469 --> 00:40:28,667
D You-ou are my desire d
591
00:40:30,108 --> 00:40:33,942
d You... You are my desire d
592
00:40:35,980 --> 00:40:39,882
d You-ou are my desire d
593
00:40:40,952 --> 00:40:45,855
d Oh, baby, you, you, you
you are my desire d
594
00:40:47,692 --> 00:40:51,560
d Got to find you
Know you're out there d
595
00:40:51,629 --> 00:40:55,360
I can't believe I'm such a jerk.
596
00:40:55,433 --> 00:40:58,368
Dd He smiles at me, and
I don't say anything.
597
00:40:59,937 --> 00:41:03,373
And I can't believe
I gave my panties to a geek.
598
00:41:07,378 --> 00:41:09,642
What year are you?
Freshman.
599
00:41:09,714 --> 00:41:11,648
Gimme a buck.
600
00:41:11,716 --> 00:41:13,650
Get in.
601
00:41:26,063 --> 00:41:27,997
Shut up!
602
00:41:29,066 --> 00:41:31,000
Bryce?
603
00:41:31,068 --> 00:41:34,367
Ted,
go for it.
604
00:41:53,124 --> 00:41:56,184
Hey, uh, listen, uh,
605
00:41:56,260 --> 00:41:59,525
I wanna thank you for,
uh, loanin' me the Donger.
606
00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:05,101
He's really bitchin'.
607
00:42:05,169 --> 00:42:08,536
That's okay.
You guys make a great couple.
608
00:42:10,708 --> 00:42:15,145
I never been so happy in
my whole life. You maniac!
609
00:42:17,215 --> 00:42:20,878
Now I have a place to put my hand. Mmm.
610
00:42:20,952 --> 00:42:25,389
So basically, Jimmy, my
business is video game arcades,
611
00:42:25,456 --> 00:42:29,324
laundry,
cigarette machines...
612
00:42:29,393 --> 00:42:31,486
And trucking.
613
00:42:31,562 --> 00:42:35,464
I dabble a little bit
in personal loans and politics.
614
00:42:35,533 --> 00:42:40,163
Dd
615
00:42:40,238 --> 00:42:43,173
Very nice.
616
00:42:43,241 --> 00:42:47,735
I think that all that really matters
is that the kids are happy together.
617
00:42:47,812 --> 00:42:50,679
Just as long as
my beautiful boy remembers...
618
00:42:50,748 --> 00:42:53,979
that marrying this one means he's
out of the girl of the month club.
619
00:42:54,051 --> 00:42:57,316
- Hey, wait a minute.
I can still look.
620
00:42:57,388 --> 00:43:00,619
I just can't touch.
Right?
621
00:43:00,691 --> 00:43:02,682
Oh, sensitive, uh?
Rudy!
622
00:43:05,162 --> 00:43:08,290
- Cheers.
- Right on.
623
00:43:10,735 --> 00:43:12,794
Ahh! You do shots?
624
00:43:12,870 --> 00:43:14,804
Come on, wolf it.
625
00:43:18,442 --> 00:43:22,970
Whoo!
626
00:43:30,721 --> 00:43:34,122
Uh, good night, Marlene.
See you later, Dong.
627
00:43:34,191 --> 00:43:37,718
Sammy, tell Grandpa not to
wait up. Let's go boogie.
628
00:43:37,795 --> 00:43:40,958
Sure.
629
00:43:41,032 --> 00:43:44,331
Donger's here for five hours,
and he's got somebody.
630
00:43:44,402 --> 00:43:47,337
I live here my whole life,
and I'm like a disease.
631
00:43:51,509 --> 00:43:54,307
Dd
632
00:44:07,658 --> 00:44:10,923
- D We're hangin'out
in Vinnie's car d
633
00:44:10,995 --> 00:44:13,725
D We like
the really loud guitar d
634
00:44:13,798 --> 00:44:16,528
dDon't ever seem
to get too far d
635
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,467
dSpend all our money
in a bar d
636
00:44:19,537 --> 00:44:22,472
Dd
637
00:44:32,783 --> 00:44:34,717
Everybody,
638
00:44:34,785 --> 00:44:37,481
I'd like you to meet
my boyfriend Jake.
639
00:44:37,555 --> 00:44:40,649
Jake, this is... everybody.
640
00:44:40,725 --> 00:44:42,659
Take it off.
641
00:44:43,728 --> 00:44:46,822
All right, whose is this?
642
00:44:46,897 --> 00:44:48,956
You're such a poop.
643
00:44:49,033 --> 00:44:51,968
Dd
644
00:45:22,066 --> 00:45:24,694
DFarmerJohn d
Woof!
645
00:45:24,769 --> 00:45:27,067
Dl'm in love
with your daughter d
646
00:45:27,138 --> 00:45:30,039
dd
647
00:45:30,107 --> 00:45:34,043
Oh, no.
Easy, easy, easy.
648
00:45:34,111 --> 00:45:37,046
Dd
649
00:45:47,658 --> 00:45:50,149
Shit, Ted, that's my mom.
I gotta get home.
650
00:45:50,227 --> 00:45:52,525
Change your frequency.
Don't be such a wimp!
651
00:45:59,103 --> 00:46:02,971
Take those ridiculous things
off, okay?
652
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:04,974
Will you guys grow up?
653
00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:09,308
Ted, won't we get pounded
if we go to a senior party?
654
00:46:09,380 --> 00:46:12,941
Wease, we got $70, and we got
a pair of girl's underpants.
655
00:46:13,017 --> 00:46:15,315
We're safe as kittens.
Okay?
656
00:46:15,386 --> 00:46:18,082
This is a great social
opportunity for us.
657
00:46:18,155 --> 00:46:20,089
Come on!
658
00:46:31,168 --> 00:46:34,660
Do not embarrass me,
okay? For sure, we won't.
659
00:46:34,738 --> 00:46:37,036
Will you fix your hair,
Bryce? I already did.
660
00:46:38,342 --> 00:46:40,503
Wease, close your barn,
all right?
661
00:46:44,582 --> 00:46:47,016
And be polite to his
parents. Okay. Great.
662
00:46:52,289 --> 00:46:57,090
Hey, come on in and
party hearty, dude persons.
663
00:47:01,398 --> 00:47:04,367
He's from out of town, okay?
He speaks English, right?
664
00:47:04,435 --> 00:47:06,528
Don't be such faggots!
Man, shut up.
665
00:47:06,604 --> 00:47:10,040
Kidding. Sorry.
666
00:47:10,107 --> 00:47:12,041
Think we're gonna die?
667
00:47:12,109 --> 00:47:14,043
Definitely.
668
00:47:30,861 --> 00:47:33,955
Did you put the cat out?
669
00:47:34,031 --> 00:47:35,965
We don't have a cat.
670
00:47:36,033 --> 00:47:38,092
Come on, damn it.
Answer.
671
00:47:44,475 --> 00:47:46,841
Mmm.
672
00:47:48,212 --> 00:47:50,874
Aw, eat me.
673
00:47:50,948 --> 00:47:53,644
Who is it?
674
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,054
Well, what
did they want?
675
00:47:59,890 --> 00:48:01,858
Sex.
676
00:48:01,926 --> 00:48:04,554
Dd
677
00:48:06,630 --> 00:48:08,598
Whoo.
678
00:48:08,666 --> 00:48:10,600
Geek!
679
00:48:22,713 --> 00:48:26,672
Very nice!
We're five minutes in...
680
00:48:26,750 --> 00:48:28,684
I'm at a loss.
681
00:48:31,222 --> 00:48:34,919
Real smooth, Cliff.
682
00:48:40,064 --> 00:48:43,158
Ooh.
683
00:48:44,235 --> 00:48:46,260
I've never been out
with a boy before.
684
00:48:46,337 --> 00:48:48,271
Oh, me neither.
685
00:48:56,180 --> 00:48:58,114
Jake?
686
00:49:00,084 --> 00:49:02,609
Where are you, Jake?
687
00:49:02,686 --> 00:49:05,951
Jakey, have you
stopped loving me?
688
00:49:08,959 --> 00:49:10,893
Leave me alone.
689
00:49:21,972 --> 00:49:26,773
What? I'm sorry,
I don't do that.
690
00:49:26,844 --> 00:49:28,971
Yes, you do.
I know.
691
00:49:29,046 --> 00:49:32,846
Come on.
Trace. You guys.
692
00:49:32,916 --> 00:49:34,907
Would you help me,
please?
693
00:49:34,985 --> 00:49:38,250
Oh, shit! Come on, you
guys. I'm your prom queen.
694
00:49:38,322 --> 00:49:41,450
Trace, you guys,
I'm serious.
695
00:49:41,525 --> 00:49:43,459
Come on. I need help.
696
00:49:43,527 --> 00:49:46,496
Okay.
I need help too.
697
00:49:46,563 --> 00:49:49,896
What is the problem?
Several things.
698
00:49:54,738 --> 00:49:58,401
Okay. We'll help you.
699
00:49:58,475 --> 00:50:01,774
Don't go away,
Caroline, baby.
700
00:50:06,784 --> 00:50:10,015
Hello?
Hello?
701
00:50:10,087 --> 00:50:13,352
Listen, I know you're there.
I can hear you breathing.
702
00:50:17,628 --> 00:50:19,562
Yes, hello, sir. Um...
703
00:50:19,630 --> 00:50:22,190
Are you the little bugger
that's been calling up...
704
00:50:22,266 --> 00:50:24,200
and then hanging up?
705
00:50:24,268 --> 00:50:27,931
Would it be possible to tell me
if there is a Samantha Baker there?
706
00:50:28,005 --> 00:50:30,303
And if so, sir, may I
converse with her briefly?
707
00:50:30,374 --> 00:50:34,276
Yes, it is.
And no, you may not.
708
00:50:34,345 --> 00:50:36,813
Might I leave a message, sir?
709
00:50:38,882 --> 00:50:41,874
He wants to leave
a message for Sam.
710
00:50:41,952 --> 00:50:44,045
Here, give me that phone.
711
00:50:45,122 --> 00:50:47,613
Now, you listen to me,
mister.
712
00:50:47,691 --> 00:50:51,354
God did not put me on this earth to
be awakened by filthy suggestions...
713
00:50:51,428 --> 00:50:54,488
from a foul-mouthed hooligan
like you.
714
00:50:54,565 --> 00:50:57,728
And as for our granddaughter, I'm
sure she has more than enough sense...
715
00:50:57,801 --> 00:50:59,860
to stay clear of the likes
of you!
716
00:50:59,937 --> 00:51:02,064
Now, good night
and good-bye!
717
00:51:07,211 --> 00:51:09,179
That was great.
718
00:51:09,246 --> 00:51:13,512
Sam's lucky she has us, Howard. Yeah.
719
00:51:13,584 --> 00:51:17,020
Even if she doesn't
appreciate us.
720
00:51:18,422 --> 00:51:22,051
Do you promise you won't
get mad? No, I love you.
721
00:51:22,126 --> 00:51:24,492
Okay,
close your eyes.
722
00:51:25,662 --> 00:51:28,563
Scalpel.
Scalpel.
723
00:51:36,874 --> 00:51:39,604
Oooh!
My God.
724
00:51:42,746 --> 00:51:45,271
That was wonderful.!
725
00:51:47,084 --> 00:51:49,552
I don't know how
to thank you enough.
726
00:51:49,620 --> 00:51:51,554
My pleasure.
727
00:52:05,302 --> 00:52:08,533
My God.!
Wow.
728
00:52:08,605 --> 00:52:11,438
I hope they have insurance.
The party's over.
729
00:53:14,671 --> 00:53:16,605
What a disaster.
730
00:53:41,064 --> 00:53:44,795
Jake!
731
00:53:46,570 --> 00:53:49,038
Sam.
732
00:53:49,106 --> 00:53:51,040
Sweetheart?
733
00:53:52,109 --> 00:53:56,341
Daddy?
Hi, kiddo.
734
00:53:56,413 --> 00:53:59,849
What's wrong? Nothing.
Everything's fine.
735
00:54:00,984 --> 00:54:03,282
I was just upstairs,
and I couldn't sleep.
736
00:54:06,256 --> 00:54:09,692
I feel like a real jerk,
honey.
737
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,694
We forgot your birthday.
738
00:54:15,566 --> 00:54:18,399
I bet you're really
P.O. 'd, huh?
739
00:54:18,468 --> 00:54:22,905
No, it's okay. I'm not
really all that upset anymore.
740
00:54:24,441 --> 00:54:28,571
This wedding is really turning
this entire house inside out.
741
00:54:28,645 --> 00:54:32,240
And I just came down to tell you
that we did remember.
742
00:54:33,317 --> 00:54:35,148
Thanks, Dad.
743
00:54:37,054 --> 00:54:38,988
Happy birthday.
744
00:54:49,299 --> 00:54:51,893
Is something else wrong?
745
00:54:51,969 --> 00:54:53,903
No, why?
746
00:54:53,971 --> 00:54:56,997
I don't know, I just get the feeling
that something's bothering you.
747
00:54:57,074 --> 00:55:00,009
Something other than
your birthday.
748
00:55:00,077 --> 00:55:03,046
No, I'm fine. Really.
749
00:55:08,085 --> 00:55:10,246
I think I know what it is.
750
00:55:12,956 --> 00:55:14,947
It has to do
with a certain guy?
751
00:55:21,798 --> 00:55:24,130
I know, honey.
I know.
752
00:55:28,105 --> 00:55:31,666
We're all upset that
Ginny's marrying a bohunk.
753
00:55:36,980 --> 00:55:40,211
What's the matter?
754
00:55:40,283 --> 00:55:42,376
I meantJake.
755
00:55:42,452 --> 00:55:44,420
Jake?
756
00:55:44,488 --> 00:55:48,049
Wait a minute. I thought she
said his name was Rudy. Forget it.
757
00:55:48,125 --> 00:55:50,650
Forget what?
Who's Jake?
758
00:55:52,696 --> 00:55:54,789
He's a boy, Daddy. It's nothing.
759
00:55:54,865 --> 00:55:57,299
Okay? Just forget it, please.
760
00:55:57,367 --> 00:55:59,426
Come on, Sam.
We're not communicating.
761
00:55:59,503 --> 00:56:04,065
It's extremely
embarrassing, okay?
762
00:56:04,141 --> 00:56:06,166
What's embarrassing?
763
00:56:06,243 --> 00:56:09,906
Sitting in the dark with your dad,
telling him about your love life.
764
00:56:11,481 --> 00:56:13,847
I'm afraid you lost me
again, Sam.
765
00:56:16,620 --> 00:56:20,454
Jake is a senior, and
he's beautiful and perfect.
766
00:56:20,524 --> 00:56:23,254
I like him a real lot, and
he doesn't like me. Okay?
767
00:56:23,326 --> 00:56:25,226
Oh.
768
00:56:26,463 --> 00:56:28,454
And he's got this
incredible girlfriend.
769
00:56:28,532 --> 00:56:31,626
I'm just this ridiculous dork that's
following him around like a puppy.
770
00:56:31,702 --> 00:56:34,170
Why do you think
you're a dork?
771
00:56:34,237 --> 00:56:37,695
I don't think you're a dork.
I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork.
772
00:56:37,774 --> 00:56:40,299
- Mike thinks I'm a dork.
- Mike is a dork.
773
00:56:40,377 --> 00:56:43,505
But so am I.
774
00:56:43,580 --> 00:56:47,346
Well, if it's any consolation,
I love you.
775
00:56:47,417 --> 00:56:52,286
And if this guy can't see in you all the
beautiful and wonderful things that I see,
776
00:56:52,355 --> 00:56:54,789
then he's got the problem.
777
00:56:54,858 --> 00:56:56,826
I know. It just hurts.
778
00:56:58,261 --> 00:57:00,957
That's why they call them crushes.
779
00:57:01,031 --> 00:57:04,228
If they were easy,
they'd call 'em something else.
780
00:57:04,301 --> 00:57:06,701
But if I were Ginny,
781
00:57:06,770 --> 00:57:09,432
I'd have this guy
crawling on his knees.
782
00:57:09,506 --> 00:57:12,270
Well, let me tell you something
about Ginny.
783
00:57:12,342 --> 00:57:16,210
Now, I love her as much as I love
you. But she's a different person.
784
00:57:16,279 --> 00:57:19,612
Sometimes I worry about her.
785
00:57:19,683 --> 00:57:22,015
When you're given things
kind of easily,
786
00:57:22,085 --> 00:57:24,553
you don't always
appreciate them.
787
00:57:24,621 --> 00:57:27,249
With you, I'm not worried.
788
00:57:27,324 --> 00:57:31,727
When it happens to you,
Samantha, it'll be forever.
789
00:57:36,299 --> 00:57:41,430
Well, I don't think I'll be able to sleep if
I don't feel this little talk has helped you.
790
00:57:41,505 --> 00:57:44,531
So would you be a sport
and lie to me?
791
00:57:44,608 --> 00:57:46,872
Yeah, sure, Daddy.
792
00:57:46,943 --> 00:57:49,571
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night.
793
00:57:55,986 --> 00:57:58,011
Oh, one more thing,
sweetheart.
794
00:57:58,088 --> 00:58:00,352
What?
795
00:58:00,423 --> 00:58:03,915
When you do find the right guy,
don't let him boss you around.
796
00:58:05,562 --> 00:58:09,328
Make sure he knows you wear
the pants in the family.
797
00:58:13,203 --> 00:58:15,763
These are really hers?
Yeah.
798
00:58:15,839 --> 00:58:18,034
How did you get 'em?
799
00:58:18,108 --> 00:58:20,303
She gave 'em to me.
800
00:58:20,377 --> 00:58:23,437
Did you...
No! No, Jake.
801
00:58:23,513 --> 00:58:25,447
She's crying for you.
802
00:58:25,515 --> 00:58:28,143
I told her you asked about
her. Right? The girl freaked.
803
00:58:28,218 --> 00:58:32,484
She had a hissy. She thinks
you're the cat's meow. Really?
804
00:58:32,556 --> 00:58:35,024
Yeah. She came up to
me in the gym tonight.
805
00:58:35,091 --> 00:58:37,821
She looked at me
like I was a leper.
806
00:58:37,894 --> 00:58:39,828
Girls'll do that, Jake.
807
00:58:39,896 --> 00:58:42,626
You see, they know guys are,
like, in perpetual heat, right?
808
00:58:42,699 --> 00:58:45,827
They know this shit.
And they enjoy pumping us up.
809
00:58:45,902 --> 00:58:48,393
It's pure power politics,
I'm tellin' you.
810
00:58:48,471 --> 00:58:50,496
I thought she hated
my guts.
811
00:58:50,574 --> 00:58:54,066
Games, Jake.
Silly, torturous games.
812
00:58:54,144 --> 00:58:57,807
You know how many times a week I go without
lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money?
813
00:58:57,881 --> 00:59:01,009
Any halfway decent girl
can rob me blind!
814
00:59:01,084 --> 00:59:03,518
Because I'm too torqued up
to say no.
815
00:59:03,587 --> 00:59:05,885
It's heinous,
I'm telling you.
816
00:59:05,956 --> 00:59:07,981
You better not be
dickin' me around.
817
00:59:08,058 --> 00:59:09,992
It'd be a major downer
to try and get together...
818
00:59:10,060 --> 00:59:13,029
and find out she really does
think I'm a slime.
819
00:59:13,096 --> 00:59:15,394
Jake, would I dick you?
820
00:59:15,465 --> 00:59:17,490
Let me put it to you this way.
821
00:59:17,567 --> 00:59:19,501
What happens to me
if I dick you?
822
00:59:19,569 --> 00:59:21,969
I'd kick your ass.
823
00:59:22,038 --> 00:59:24,268
Right. So why would I lie?
824
00:59:24,341 --> 00:59:27,538
But I feel compelled
to mention, Jake,
825
00:59:27,611 --> 00:59:30,546
if all you want is a piece
of ass, I mean,
826
00:59:30,614 --> 00:59:34,277
I'll either do it myself,
or get someone bigger than me,
827
00:59:34,351 --> 00:59:36,683
to kick your ass.
828
00:59:36,753 --> 00:59:41,053
I mean, not many girls in contemporary
American society today...
829
00:59:41,124 --> 00:59:44,218
would give their underwear
to help a geek like me.
830
00:59:44,294 --> 00:59:47,229
I can get a piece of ass
anytime I want.
831
00:59:47,297 --> 00:59:50,994
Shit, I got Caroline in my
bedroom right now, passed out cold.
832
00:59:51,067 --> 00:59:54,559
I could violate her ten
different ways if I wanted to.
833
00:59:54,638 --> 00:59:57,573
What are you waiting for? I don't know.
834
00:59:57,641 --> 01:00:00,769
She's beautiful, and
she's built and all that.
835
01:00:00,844 --> 01:00:03,836
I'm just not
interested anymore.
836
01:00:03,914 --> 01:00:06,940
Does that really matter, guy?
Yeah, it matters.
837
01:00:07,017 --> 01:00:10,418
She's totally insensitive.
Look what she did to my house.
838
01:00:11,688 --> 01:00:13,713
She doesn't know shit
about love.
839
01:00:13,790 --> 01:00:16,054
Only thing she cares
about is partying.
840
01:00:16,126 --> 01:00:18,560
I want a serious girlfriend.
841
01:00:18,628 --> 01:00:21,222
Somebody I can love,
that's gonna love me back.
842
01:00:23,566 --> 01:00:26,399
Is that psycho?
843
01:00:27,604 --> 01:00:29,538
That's beautiful, Jake.
844
01:00:29,606 --> 01:00:32,473
I think a ton of guys feel
the same way as you do. Really?
845
01:00:32,542 --> 01:00:35,306
Yeah. It's just they don't... They
don't have the balls to admit it.
846
01:00:35,378 --> 01:00:37,938
You know? They're just...
They're wimps.
847
01:00:39,249 --> 01:00:41,717
Samantha's, uh... She's
really special, you know?
848
01:00:41,785 --> 01:00:43,753
I'll make a deal with you.
849
01:00:43,820 --> 01:00:48,382
Let me keep these. I'll
let you take Caroline home.
850
01:00:48,458 --> 01:00:51,859
But you gotta make sure she gets home. You
can't leave her in some parking lot somewhere.
851
01:00:51,928 --> 01:00:54,419
Okay?
852
01:00:54,497 --> 01:00:56,431
Jake, I'm only a freshman.
853
01:00:56,499 --> 01:00:59,832
So? She's so blitzed, she
won't know the difference.
854
01:00:59,903 --> 01:01:03,134
Jake, I don't have a car.
You can take mine.
855
01:01:03,206 --> 01:01:07,438
Jake, I don't have a license.
I trust you.
856
01:01:11,614 --> 01:01:15,380
Jake, I'd love to.
I can't. Want a pretzel?
857
01:01:15,452 --> 01:01:18,421
You sure?
Positive.
858
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,334
I got her.
You got her?
859
01:01:32,402 --> 01:01:34,336
Yeah.
860
01:01:44,381 --> 01:01:47,043
Is this, uh, your car, Jake?
No, this is my dad's car.
861
01:01:47,117 --> 01:01:49,813
You said you couldn't
drive a stick.
862
01:01:49,886 --> 01:01:52,377
This is a mother...
863
01:01:52,455 --> 01:01:54,685
This is a Rolls-Royce,
Jake.
864
01:01:54,758 --> 01:01:57,556
So?
So! So.
865
01:01:57,627 --> 01:02:00,460
I heard the grill alone
cost five grand on this.
866
01:02:00,530 --> 01:02:04,159
Five grand!
I don't have five grand.
867
01:02:04,234 --> 01:02:06,634
Then don't hit anything.
Ahh, don't hit anything.
868
01:02:06,703 --> 01:02:08,694
Do you want to do this
or not?
869
01:02:08,772 --> 01:02:10,706
No.
870
01:02:13,676 --> 01:02:16,975
Who the hell?
Who does he...
871
01:02:38,134 --> 01:02:40,967
Mm-hmm. Mmm.
872
01:02:43,106 --> 01:02:46,837
Who's he?
That's me.
873
01:02:53,249 --> 01:02:55,809
Who are you?
I'm him.
874
01:03:01,157 --> 01:03:03,523
Oh.
875
01:03:03,593 --> 01:03:05,527
Okay.
876
01:03:05,595 --> 01:03:07,654
She's totally gone.
Have fun.
877
01:03:07,730 --> 01:03:10,221
Thanks.
878
01:03:15,338 --> 01:03:18,899
Jake, is your dad a big
man, or... About 6'4".
879
01:03:18,975 --> 01:03:20,909
Very nice.
880
01:03:23,713 --> 01:03:25,647
Ho.
881
01:03:25,715 --> 01:03:28,240
Ohh.
Oh.
882
01:03:31,187 --> 01:03:33,621
Ho.
883
01:03:33,690 --> 01:03:37,490
Easy.
Easy.
884
01:03:39,829 --> 01:03:42,389
Dd
885
01:03:55,545 --> 01:03:58,343
DHey, sucker d
886
01:03:58,414 --> 01:04:01,577
D What the hell's got into you d
887
01:04:03,987 --> 01:04:05,978
DHey, sucker dd
888
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,920
Oh, sexy girlfriend.
889
01:04:14,831 --> 01:04:17,493
Banzai!
890
01:05:02,312 --> 01:05:04,280
Think they liked us?
Definitely.
891
01:05:04,347 --> 01:05:06,611
Dd Whoo! Go, darling geek!
892
01:05:06,683 --> 01:05:08,844
Uh, could we turn that music
down? I'm a first-time driver.
893
01:05:08,918 --> 01:05:10,852
I need to concentrate.
894
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,787
Excuse me!
Stop that.
895
01:05:13,856 --> 01:05:16,689
Looks like rain.
Better put the top up!
896
01:05:16,759 --> 01:05:19,785
Will you stop that? You can get
us in a lot of trouble doin' that!
897
01:05:19,862 --> 01:05:23,059
This is a car!
898
01:05:23,132 --> 01:05:26,033
It hasn't got
Triple A on it.
899
01:05:26,102 --> 01:05:30,368
Chugalug, Pooh bear.
900
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,431
I can't believe you're so
popular, acting like this.
901
01:05:34,844 --> 01:05:38,439
Relax!
Hello?
902
01:05:38,514 --> 01:05:40,675
Oh, uh, I don't know.
I'll have to look.
903
01:05:40,750 --> 01:05:45,312
Mr. Ryan, are you in here? He's
not... Mr. Ryan's not in right now.
904
01:05:45,388 --> 01:05:47,913
My Christmas present
to you!
905
01:05:47,991 --> 01:05:51,483
Thank you. No. Really. Serious.
906
01:05:51,561 --> 01:05:55,088
See? See?
Dd
907
01:05:55,164 --> 01:05:57,997
Thank you.
908
01:05:58,067 --> 01:06:00,831
Now we're both
on the pill!
909
01:06:06,676 --> 01:06:08,769
You gave me a
birth control pill?
910
01:06:08,845 --> 01:06:10,836
You have any idea what
that'll do to a guy my age?
911
01:06:10,913 --> 01:06:13,507
I know exactly what it'll do
to a girl my age.
912
01:06:13,583 --> 01:06:16,017
"Just climb in the car!"
Shit.
913
01:06:16,085 --> 01:06:19,919
It makes it okay to be
super careless. Wait, wait!
914
01:06:23,926 --> 01:06:26,622
Ha-ha!
915
01:06:26,696 --> 01:06:30,063
Look, we're not going any further
until you stop these childish antics.
916
01:06:30,133 --> 01:06:32,465
Don't be such a poop.
917
01:06:32,535 --> 01:06:35,299
Huh. On second thought.
918
01:06:35,371 --> 01:06:37,305
I love you.
919
01:06:41,944 --> 01:06:44,276
This is getting good.
920
01:06:44,347 --> 01:06:48,010
Dd
921
01:07:08,371 --> 01:07:10,305
Ted, what the hell
are you doing?
922
01:07:10,373 --> 01:07:12,307
Are those humongous jocks
back?
923
01:07:14,377 --> 01:07:18,336
Do you have any film
in your camera? What?
924
01:07:18,414 --> 01:07:21,247
Take those ridiculous
things off.
925
01:07:21,317 --> 01:07:24,684
Do you have any film
in your camera? Sure.
926
01:07:24,754 --> 01:07:28,246
Okay. Go get it and bring it
outside. Okay? Right out front.
927
01:07:28,324 --> 01:07:32,317
What for? Look, just get it
and come on out front, okay?
928
01:07:32,395 --> 01:07:34,863
U.F.O.?
It's better.
929
01:07:34,931 --> 01:07:39,334
Extraterrestrial? It's better! All
right? Just get it and come outside.
930
01:07:39,402 --> 01:07:41,336
Female extraterrestrial?
931
01:07:42,638 --> 01:07:44,629
It's better than...
Shh!
932
01:07:44,707 --> 01:07:47,198
Better than female
extraterrestrial?
933
01:07:47,276 --> 01:07:50,245
How do you tell if it's a
female? 'Cause it's got tits.
934
01:07:50,313 --> 01:07:52,440
What makes 'em different
than regular tits?
935
01:07:52,515 --> 01:07:57,043
They got four. Just get the
camera. It's in the closet.
936
01:07:57,120 --> 01:08:00,988
Don't go in the closet.
937
01:08:03,059 --> 01:08:04,993
Such assholes.
I can't believe it.
938
01:08:07,397 --> 01:08:10,161
You should check that out. Why
do you always have to argue?
939
01:08:10,233 --> 01:08:13,725
I'm not arguing. I am not! I am
not! Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
940
01:08:13,803 --> 01:08:17,204
Every time I do something, bitch,
bitch, bitch. Bitch is a female dog.
941
01:08:17,273 --> 01:08:21,334
I am not even. What's
that supposed to mean?
942
01:08:21,411 --> 01:08:23,436
Shit!
Shoot!
943
01:08:40,730 --> 01:08:43,290
Ted, that's
a Rolls-Royce.
944
01:08:43,366 --> 01:08:47,427
Ted, that's the prom queen.
You got two girls in one night.
945
01:08:47,503 --> 01:08:50,495
I told you dudes I was
hot. Hot? You're a legend!
946
01:08:50,573 --> 01:08:54,907
Will you shut up? People
around here work, all right?
947
01:08:54,977 --> 01:08:57,343
Will you hurry it up? I'm
breaking, like, 30 major laws here.
948
01:08:57,413 --> 01:09:01,747
You know, Ted, nobody's
gonna believe you.
949
01:09:01,818 --> 01:09:04,844
No way.
950
01:09:04,921 --> 01:09:09,756
That, my friends, is what
the pictures are for. Okay?
951
01:09:23,406 --> 01:09:25,340
Just get that thing
there.
952
01:09:25,408 --> 01:09:29,401
- Are you guys ready?
- Wait, hold on.
953
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:32,880
Put it down just a bit. You
guys know what you're doing here?
954
01:09:32,949 --> 01:09:35,383
All right,
just a minute.
955
01:09:35,451 --> 01:09:37,885
How's this look?
Very nice.
956
01:09:37,954 --> 01:09:42,653
Wait, black and white. It would
capture the moment so nicely. Oooh.
957
01:09:42,725 --> 01:09:45,421
Will you take
the picture already?
958
01:09:45,495 --> 01:09:48,328
You're pissin' me off,
I'm tellin' ya.
959
01:09:50,867 --> 01:09:54,667
Smile, pumpkin. What? Oh! Pictures!
960
01:09:54,737 --> 01:09:56,796
Cheers!
961
01:10:21,163 --> 01:10:22,391
Dd
962
01:10:31,974 --> 01:10:34,909
Marlene! Ohh!
963
01:10:34,977 --> 01:10:36,911
Chill out, boy.
964
01:10:36,979 --> 01:10:38,970
Mike, honey.
Go get dressed.
965
01:10:39,048 --> 01:10:42,381
I can't believe it.
Ginny's not in the shower.
966
01:10:42,451 --> 01:10:46,251
I wouldn't go in there. Grandpa
Fred was in there for a half an hour.
967
01:10:46,322 --> 01:10:48,916
It's totally polluted.
Get dressed.
968
01:10:48,991 --> 01:10:50,925
It's your nose.
969
01:10:54,630 --> 01:10:56,564
They never listen.
970
01:10:56,632 --> 01:11:01,001
What was he wearing?
Well, he would have...
971
01:11:01,070 --> 01:11:05,837
He was wearing a red argyle
sweater and tan trousers.
972
01:11:05,908 --> 01:11:08,172
Mmm. And red shoes.
973
01:11:08,244 --> 01:11:11,407
Hmm?
No, he's not retarded.
974
01:11:11,480 --> 01:11:15,746
Now, what can I do to help? Well,
you could finish the French toast.
975
01:11:15,818 --> 01:11:18,548
Good.
976
01:11:18,621 --> 01:11:21,317
I'll, uh... I'll just open
the doughnuts.
977
01:11:21,390 --> 01:11:25,759
Good thinking. Oops.
Don't wanna lose the nails.
978
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:36,030
I'll just wait till I hear from
you, then. Voila. Breakfast is ready.
979
01:11:38,140 --> 01:11:40,438
Oh, Sam.
980
01:11:40,509 --> 01:11:44,036
Sam, I am so sorry
about your birthday.
981
01:11:44,113 --> 01:11:47,776
It's okay.
I'll recover.
982
01:11:47,850 --> 01:11:51,115
It's important to you.
983
01:11:51,187 --> 01:11:55,851
And yesterday morning,
you were trying to tell me.
984
01:11:55,925 --> 01:11:58,257
It's okay, Mom.
985
01:11:58,327 --> 01:12:00,352
These things
sometimes happen.
986
01:12:00,429 --> 01:12:03,990
Oh, honey, I just
feel miserable.
987
01:12:04,066 --> 01:12:05,966
You'll feel better.
988
01:12:06,035 --> 01:12:08,367
Who died?
989
01:12:08,437 --> 01:12:11,031
Uh...
990
01:12:11,107 --> 01:12:14,076
Is there something
you want to say to your sister?
991
01:12:14,143 --> 01:12:17,806
What? Are you kidding?
Where should I start?
992
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:19,814
I mean about her birthday.
993
01:12:19,882 --> 01:12:22,874
It was yesterday.
We all forgot.
994
01:12:22,952 --> 01:12:26,012
Classic.
995
01:12:32,828 --> 01:12:35,023
Deep down,
he's really sorry.
996
01:12:39,101 --> 01:12:42,070
No, he's not.
997
01:12:42,138 --> 01:12:45,232
I have to go to this wedding and
look like Miss Pretty Princess...
998
01:12:45,307 --> 01:12:47,241
in this dipshit's
bridesmaid's dress.
999
01:12:47,309 --> 01:12:50,870
I don't have one-tenth of the
bod to fill the stupid bust up.
1000
01:12:50,946 --> 01:12:53,574
So what? Should I just waste
myself and spare the agony?
1001
01:12:53,649 --> 01:12:57,608
I was gonna tell you something, but
maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad.
1002
01:12:57,687 --> 01:13:00,588
You may as well. Nothing
could shock me anymore.
1003
01:13:00,656 --> 01:13:03,124
Last night at the dance,
1004
01:13:03,192 --> 01:13:05,626
my little brother paid a buck
to see your underwear.
1005
01:13:08,564 --> 01:13:12,591
Geez! I hate that
rock 'n' roll rubbish!
1006
01:13:12,668 --> 01:13:14,761
Well, I'm afraid it's
here to stay, Howie.
1007
01:13:14,837 --> 01:13:18,102
Dd
1008
01:13:20,076 --> 01:13:23,045
Sam, you're dragging
your dress, honey. Pick it up.
1009
01:13:23,112 --> 01:13:27,412
Come on, Ginny. Hurry up,
Susie. Why is she so slow?
1010
01:13:27,483 --> 01:13:30,213
Do not fuss at your sister.
It's her wedding day. Big deal.
1011
01:13:30,286 --> 01:13:35,087
All right, is everybody in? Oh, dear.
Are you all right, Ginny?
1012
01:13:41,831 --> 01:13:45,323
Come on, everybody.
1013
01:13:47,002 --> 01:13:50,165
Get in the car, please.
We're late already.
1014
01:13:58,547 --> 01:14:03,211
Helen, will you get in the car? I
don't know what they're fussing about.
1015
01:14:03,285 --> 01:14:05,276
Helen, get in the car!
1016
01:14:15,765 --> 01:14:19,701
Hey, Howard, there's
your Chinaman.
1017
01:14:19,769 --> 01:14:23,330
Thanks, Fred.
Bye, Dong.
1018
01:14:23,405 --> 01:14:26,067
What the... What's he
doin' on the ground there?
1019
01:14:26,142 --> 01:14:28,372
What happened?
1020
01:14:28,444 --> 01:14:32,437
Hold a mirror in front of
his mouth. Howard! He's dead!
1021
01:14:32,515 --> 01:14:35,484
Aw, shit. I pay seven grand for
a wedding, I'll never see it!
1022
01:14:35,551 --> 01:14:38,850
Oh, watch your language,
Mr. Dirty Mouth.
1023
01:14:40,089 --> 01:14:43,718
Oh, thank God, he is
still warm. Oh, good.
1024
01:14:43,793 --> 01:14:46,284
Here, I-I'll help you.
Roll him over.
1025
01:14:49,165 --> 01:14:51,861
Ugh.
Canine cologne.
1026
01:14:51,934 --> 01:14:55,199
Oh, no more yankee
my wankee.
1027
01:14:55,271 --> 01:14:58,900
The Donger need food!
1028
01:14:58,974 --> 01:15:02,774
Hell, he's three sheets to the wind!
1029
01:15:02,845 --> 01:15:06,975
He's drunk as a skunk!
Shut up, Fred. Shut up.
1030
01:15:07,049 --> 01:15:09,847
Dong!
1031
01:15:09,919 --> 01:15:13,252
Dong.
1032
01:15:13,322 --> 01:15:15,688
Dong, Grandpa
is talking to you.
1033
01:15:18,127 --> 01:15:22,496
Dong.! Where is my
automobile?
1034
01:15:22,565 --> 01:15:27,002
Automobile?
1035
01:15:34,877 --> 01:15:37,107
Lake.
Big lake.
1036
01:15:37,179 --> 01:15:39,409
Ohh!
1037
01:15:39,481 --> 01:15:43,042
- Why, you
little scuzzbag!
1038
01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:47,953
Oh, my.
Is everything all right?
1039
01:15:48,023 --> 01:15:50,958
I was afraid you'd
had an accident.
1040
01:15:51,026 --> 01:15:55,554
I wish. Her monthly bill came early.
1041
01:15:57,333 --> 01:16:00,325
Well, she's fine.
1042
01:16:00,402 --> 01:16:02,427
Uh, she just took
a muscle relaxer.
1043
01:16:02,504 --> 01:16:04,870
Try four.
1044
01:16:04,940 --> 01:16:06,874
You didn't.
Mother!
1045
01:16:06,942 --> 01:16:09,877
Dd
1046
01:16:26,495 --> 01:16:31,432
Damn, Mom! I've got my
headgear on. Will you wake up?
1047
01:16:31,500 --> 01:16:34,060
Where the hell am I?
1048
01:16:34,136 --> 01:16:37,697
I'll, uh, tell you where you are,
if you'll tell me who you are.
1049
01:16:39,675 --> 01:16:44,408
Farmer Ted. You're in the parking
lot across the street from my church.
1050
01:16:46,415 --> 01:16:48,349
You own a church?
1051
01:16:53,489 --> 01:16:57,619
What happened?
I have no idea.
1052
01:17:01,530 --> 01:17:03,691
Did I do that
to your hair?
1053
01:17:05,100 --> 01:17:07,227
At this point,
anything is possible.
1054
01:17:10,572 --> 01:17:14,633
Um, I... Uh...
1055
01:17:14,710 --> 01:17:16,644
Did, um...
1056
01:17:18,414 --> 01:17:21,713
Did we, uh...
Yeah.
1057
01:17:21,784 --> 01:17:23,877
I'm pretty sure.
1058
01:17:25,955 --> 01:17:29,584
Um, excuse me,
but do you...
1059
01:17:29,658 --> 01:17:33,355
Do you know if...
Um, did I enjoy it?
1060
01:17:33,429 --> 01:17:35,954
Am I nuts?
Of course I enjoyed it.
1061
01:17:36,031 --> 01:17:40,127
I mean, um... What I
meant was, uh, did you?
1062
01:17:42,905 --> 01:17:45,738
Hmm.
1063
01:17:45,808 --> 01:17:48,402
You know, I have this
weird feeling I did.
1064
01:17:54,183 --> 01:17:58,085
Dd
1065
01:17:58,153 --> 01:18:01,486
Here, Ginny.
Drink this.
1066
01:18:01,557 --> 01:18:03,548
Come on.
1067
01:18:03,625 --> 01:18:06,389
Dd
Here.
1068
01:18:10,499 --> 01:18:12,433
Wow.
1069
01:18:12,501 --> 01:18:16,335
Do I feel funky!
Uh-huh.
1070
01:18:34,690 --> 01:18:37,625
Okay. I'm comin'.
1071
01:18:38,827 --> 01:18:42,786
Hello? Geez, this place is so confusing.
1072
01:18:44,533 --> 01:18:46,467
Okay.
1073
01:18:55,210 --> 01:18:57,940
Go away! I call F.I.B.! I call police!
1074
01:18:58,013 --> 01:19:00,140
Go away.!
Open the door.
1075
01:19:00,215 --> 01:19:02,877
No way, Jose!
Open the door.
1076
01:19:02,951 --> 01:19:06,751
You beat up my face!
You grabbed my nuts.
1077
01:19:10,192 --> 01:19:12,752
Is that you?
Yeah. That me.
1078
01:19:15,464 --> 01:19:17,398
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1079
01:19:17,466 --> 01:19:21,232
I thought you my new...
new-style American girlfriend.
1080
01:19:21,303 --> 01:19:23,362
Forget it, man. Just
get Samantha, all right?
1081
01:19:23,439 --> 01:19:26,306
She not here. Don't jerk me
around, man. Where is she?
1082
01:19:26,375 --> 01:19:28,172
- She got married.
- What?
1083
01:19:28,243 --> 01:19:32,339
She at the church. She
getting married to oily bohunk.
1084
01:19:32,414 --> 01:19:34,905
Married?
Married.
1085
01:19:34,983 --> 01:19:38,510
Married?
Yeah. Married.
1086
01:19:40,789 --> 01:19:42,723
Married?
1087
01:19:42,791 --> 01:19:45,521
Married.! Geez.
1088
01:19:45,594 --> 01:19:49,655
Dd
1089
01:19:51,900 --> 01:19:54,300
Are you gonna be all right, sweetie?
1090
01:19:54,369 --> 01:19:58,066
It's gonna be
a piece of cake, Bren.
1091
01:20:00,843 --> 01:20:04,404
Um, Ginny,
I'm really happy for you.
1092
01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:07,813
I'm sorry for being
kind of a jerk lately.
1093
01:20:08,984 --> 01:20:11,384
That's really lovely, Sam.
1094
01:20:11,453 --> 01:20:13,648
I know you'll have
a great marriage.
1095
01:20:17,359 --> 01:20:20,590
Ginny.!
1096
01:20:24,066 --> 01:20:26,660
- Holy shit!
- She just had a cramp.
1097
01:20:26,735 --> 01:20:31,468
I don't care what she's got.!
Look at her.! Will you be quiet?
1098
01:20:31,540 --> 01:20:34,976
We don't want to announce
that she has her period.!
1099
01:20:35,043 --> 01:20:38,501
I guess those guys who thought we had to
get married feel pretty stupid, huh, Padre?
1100
01:20:43,152 --> 01:20:46,849
Dd
1101
01:20:49,424 --> 01:20:52,587
D Here comes the bride d
1102
01:20:52,661 --> 01:20:57,291
dBig, fat and wide dd
1103
01:20:57,366 --> 01:21:00,199
dd
1104
01:21:08,277 --> 01:21:10,211
Loved the teapot.
1105
01:21:13,148 --> 01:21:15,241
Excuse me.
1106
01:21:19,388 --> 01:21:23,222
Could you move over?
Oh!
1107
01:21:25,327 --> 01:21:27,352
Are you okay?
I gotta rest.
1108
01:21:27,429 --> 01:21:29,522
Come on. Here we go. What's the matter?
1109
01:21:29,598 --> 01:21:31,759
Here comes
the bride.
1110
01:21:31,833 --> 01:21:34,495
Oh!
1111
01:21:43,779 --> 01:21:46,441
Sorry.
1112
01:21:46,515 --> 01:21:48,449
I got it.
I got it!
1113
01:21:51,353 --> 01:21:53,583
Hi.
1114
01:21:55,057 --> 01:21:58,515
I know you.
1115
01:21:58,594 --> 01:22:01,563
Can't see
with this thing on.
1116
01:22:04,333 --> 01:22:08,394
DBoom, bah-boom d I never
went out with a freshman.
1117
01:22:08,470 --> 01:22:10,404
DBah-boom, bah-boom d Not
even when I was a freshman.
1118
01:22:10,472 --> 01:22:14,306
Me either.
You were pretty crazy.
1119
01:22:14,376 --> 01:22:16,276
DBah, bah, bah-boom d
I was?
1120
01:22:16,345 --> 01:22:20,338
Yeah. You know
what I like best?
1121
01:22:20,415 --> 01:22:23,111
My clean, close shave?
No.
1122
01:22:23,185 --> 01:22:27,019
D clean, close shave Ahh
d Waking up in your arms.
1123
01:22:27,089 --> 01:22:30,320
DAh d
These things?
1124
01:22:30,392 --> 01:22:33,953
DBoom, boom-boom, boom d
1125
01:22:34,029 --> 01:22:36,497
d Ooh dd
Shit.
1126
01:22:36,565 --> 01:22:38,499
Mmm?
Jake.
1127
01:22:38,567 --> 01:22:40,535
Jake.
1128
01:22:42,504 --> 01:22:44,438
Holy shit.
1129
01:22:50,545 --> 01:22:53,173
Stay here, okay?
Oh, my God.
1130
01:22:57,552 --> 01:22:59,486
I'm dead.
1131
01:23:09,931 --> 01:23:12,126
Hello?
Ted. You never called us back.
1132
01:23:12,200 --> 01:23:15,601
What happened? Look, Wease. I
told you not to call me here.
1133
01:23:15,671 --> 01:23:18,105
Ted, we're dying.
What happened?
1134
01:23:18,173 --> 01:23:20,835
You wanna know what
happened? Buy the book. Ted!
1135
01:23:29,084 --> 01:23:31,746
I'm really sorry about gettin'
you mixed up with that guy.
1136
01:23:31,820 --> 01:23:33,845
Oh, it's okay.
1137
01:23:33,922 --> 01:23:35,981
He wasn't too terrible.
1138
01:23:36,058 --> 01:23:38,219
Weird?
1139
01:23:40,095 --> 01:23:42,393
I'm really sorry
about last night.
1140
01:23:42,464 --> 01:23:44,728
The party.
1141
01:23:44,800 --> 01:23:47,394
Lots of things.
1142
01:23:50,505 --> 01:23:53,440
You know, neither one
of us is gonna die...
1143
01:23:53,508 --> 01:23:56,807
if it doesn't happen
for us.
1144
01:23:56,878 --> 01:23:59,403
That's true.
1145
01:23:59,481 --> 01:24:01,574
I just don't know
right now.
1146
01:24:01,650 --> 01:24:04,118
But I'm covered, okay?
L... I won't get hurt.
1147
01:24:06,355 --> 01:24:08,289
Sure.
1148
01:24:10,292 --> 01:24:12,226
I'll leave it up to you.
1149
01:24:13,628 --> 01:24:15,562
Fine.
1150
01:24:23,839 --> 01:24:26,740
Dd
1151
01:24:58,874 --> 01:25:02,435
Oh, my God.!
Her veil!
1152
01:25:30,739 --> 01:25:32,969
Come on, honey.
1153
01:25:33,041 --> 01:25:35,908
Honey.
Good-bye!
1154
01:25:35,977 --> 01:25:38,502
Come on.
Here we go.
1155
01:25:38,580 --> 01:25:40,514
Get her in the
back seat, Rudy!
1156
01:25:40,582 --> 01:25:43,244
Bon voyage.!
1157
01:25:46,121 --> 01:25:48,055
See you later.
Bye!
1158
01:25:48,123 --> 01:25:50,614
Good-bye!
So long, kids!
1159
01:25:50,692 --> 01:25:53,286
Ohh!
1160
01:26:04,840 --> 01:26:08,867
Oh, hi. Uh, my sister
forgot her veil.
1161
01:26:08,944 --> 01:26:11,708
I know she wouldn't want anything
to happen to it. She's, um...
1162
01:26:11,780 --> 01:26:15,181
She's a little out of it.
Just a little bit.
1163
01:26:15,250 --> 01:26:18,048
Yeah. Uh, well, excuse me.
1164
01:26:18,119 --> 01:26:21,555
Everybody's waiting for me. I wanna
make sure I see my sister leave.
1165
01:26:21,623 --> 01:26:25,218
Good-bye.
Bye.
1166
01:26:25,293 --> 01:26:27,659
Oh, I need a drink.
1167
01:26:40,709 --> 01:26:44,645
Dd
1168
01:26:58,126 --> 01:27:01,254
- dlf you were here
I could deceive you d
1169
01:27:01,329 --> 01:27:02,796
Yeah, you.
1170
01:27:06,301 --> 01:27:11,329
Dlf you were here
You would believe d
1171
01:27:13,842 --> 01:27:17,573
dBut would you suspect d
Hi.
1172
01:27:17,646 --> 01:27:20,615
Hi.
Hi.
1173
01:27:20,682 --> 01:27:22,980
Dd
1174
01:27:23,051 --> 01:27:26,214
What are you doing here?
I heard you were here.
1175
01:27:27,656 --> 01:27:30,124
You came here for me?
1176
01:27:30,191 --> 01:27:34,093
Is that okay?
Yeah. It's okay.
1177
01:27:34,162 --> 01:27:36,630
Do you have to go
to the reception now?
1178
01:27:37,999 --> 01:27:40,797
I'm supposed to.
1179
01:27:40,869 --> 01:27:43,235
Can I call you later?
Sure.
1180
01:27:45,807 --> 01:27:47,741
I mean, no.
1181
01:27:49,477 --> 01:27:51,604
No, I can't call you later?
1182
01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:53,614
Yeah.
1183
01:27:53,682 --> 01:27:58,745
No, I mean... I'm not going
to the reception.
1184
01:27:58,820 --> 01:28:00,754
Oh. Great.
1185
01:28:46,167 --> 01:28:49,068
Thanks for getting
my undies back.
1186
01:28:49,137 --> 01:28:51,833
Thanks for comin' over.
1187
01:28:51,906 --> 01:28:53,840
Thanks for coming
to get me.
1188
01:28:56,077 --> 01:28:58,238
Happy birthday,
Samantha.
1189
01:29:00,115 --> 01:29:02,049
Make a wish.
1190
01:29:04,519 --> 01:29:06,453
It already came true.
1191
01:29:09,557 --> 01:29:11,525
Dlf you were here d
1192
01:29:11,593 --> 01:29:15,085
dl could deceive you d
1193
01:29:17,666 --> 01:29:19,793
dlf you were here d
1194
01:29:19,868 --> 01:29:22,701
d You would believe d
1195
01:29:25,974 --> 01:29:27,032
dBut would you suspect d
1196
01:29:28,410 --> 01:29:33,939
dMy emotion wandering
Yeah d
1197
01:29:34,015 --> 01:29:39,920
dDo not want a part of this anymore dd
1198
01:29:42,891 --> 01:29:46,292
dd
1199
01:29:46,361 --> 01:29:51,025
DSixteen candles d
1200
01:29:53,068 --> 01:29:57,562
dMake a lovely, lovely light d
1201
01:30:00,008 --> 01:30:03,876
dBut not as bright d
1202
01:30:05,980 --> 01:30:12,317
dAs your eyes tonight d
1203
01:30:12,387 --> 01:30:16,756
dBlow out those candles d
1204
01:30:18,860 --> 01:30:23,593
dMake your wish come true d
1205
01:30:26,334 --> 01:30:30,327
dFor I'll be wishing d
1206
01:30:32,073 --> 01:30:36,066
d That you loved me too d
1207
01:30:38,847 --> 01:30:42,977
d You're only 16 d
1208
01:30:44,719 --> 01:30:49,179
dBut you're my teenage queen d
1209
01:30:52,160 --> 01:30:58,622
d You're the prettiest
loveliest girl d
1210
01:30:58,700 --> 01:31:02,033
dl've ever seen d
1211
01:31:04,439 --> 01:31:09,103
dSixteen candles d
1212
01:31:10,945 --> 01:31:15,382
dln my heart will glow d
1213
01:31:18,353 --> 01:31:23,154
dForever and ever
and evermore d
1214
01:31:24,492 --> 01:31:28,895
dFor I love you so d
1215
01:31:30,965 --> 01:31:32,899
dHey d
1216
01:31:57,025 --> 01:32:04,056
dSixteen candles
Yeah d
1217
01:32:04,132 --> 01:32:08,796
dln my heart
In my heart will glow d
1218
01:32:11,072 --> 01:32:15,406
dForever and ever
and ever d
1219
01:32:17,078 --> 01:32:20,912
dFor I love you so d
1220
01:32:20,982 --> 01:32:30,789
d Oh, I love you so dd