1 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,687 Help me get her in the car, Ray! 2 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,523 Okay, but this bitch heavy as hell, Cuz! 3 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,899 Nigga, get yo' hands off her ass! 4 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,692 Let me finger gangbang her at least, homie! 5 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,195 - Just help me get it off of her! - Okay, one finger then! 6 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,198 A'right, but we ain't goin' inside, homie. 7 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,699 We gonna go around the emergency loop... 8 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,701 roll her ass out like we do all the homies... 9 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,203 that get shot in the hood, homie. 10 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,038 Why you snuff her fine ass anyway, homie? 11 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,248 I wanted to bone, Cuz. 12 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,041 - She was possessed, Ray! - Possessed? 13 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,710 Possessed like head spinnin' around vomitin' everywhere? 14 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,880 Or like possessed like Kanye when you take a picture of him? 15 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,049 Just drive like you got warrants, please! 16 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,884 Nigga, I do got warrants! Look! 17 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,886 These right here! Jaywalkin'! 18 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,722 For eating grapes in the grocery store without payin' for 'em! 19 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,558 Shavin' my dog's balls in public. 20 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,643 Drivin' with my hands off the wheel, Cuz. 21 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,229 I be ghost-drivin' my whip, Cuz. I like doin' that shit, homie. 22 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:06,148 An altercation with my Moms, homie, but she provoked me, Cuz! 23 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,526 - Ray-Ray, I think she's waking. - All right, here! Take this... 24 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,528 and pistol-whip her with the butt of the gun. 25 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:11,904 I'm not pistol-whippin' my girlfriend! 26 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,184 A'right, nigga, well, you drive and I'll pistol-whip that bitch! 27 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,995 - Kisha, resist! - But you didn't! 28 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:22,445 I've seen you for the bitch that you are, Malcolm. 29 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,668 - What's she talkin' 'bout, homie? - Booty pirates! 30 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,868 - Nuttin', she's possessed, man. - S'right, you fucker! 31 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,507 He's a ghost buster! 32 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,759 That sound real suspect back there, homie. 33 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,094 Was you in juvie, Cuz? 34 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,513 If you don't cry you ain't no bitch in there, homie. 35 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,266 I didn't cry. Doodles on they. Joke's on them, Cuz. 36 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:44,020 By the power vested to me, that somebody gave me... 37 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,688 while I was locked up... 38 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,982 - Who are you? - It's Father Williams, homie. 39 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,192 She do a mean impression of that nigga, Cuz. 40 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,278 I do a mean impression of The Butler. Check it: 41 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,864 "I'm here for the boss. I'm here to serve the boss." 42 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,033 - Who are you? - I'm Forest Whitaker, homie. 43 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,242 From the movie that's like "The Help" but... 44 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,702 He didn't doo-doo in the pie, homie. 45 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,204 Ray, I'm not talkin' to you! I'm talkin' to Kisha. Ray! 46 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,206 Are you gonna let that bitch choke you out, Cuz? 47 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,574 You a bitch, homie... 48 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,629 - Get the fuck off me! - Kisha! Kisha! 49 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,631 Shit, she breathed in my face, homie. 50 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,466 I'll get the bird flu, it's contagious... 51 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,675 She blacked out, Ray. 52 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,802 Hurry, we don't have much time! Get us to the hospital. 53 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,803 Hurry! 54 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,457 Ray? Ray? 55 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,504 Oh, shit! 56 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,942 Oh, my God! 57 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,152 Kisha? 58 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,554 Kisha! 59 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,060 Ray? Ray! 60 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,998 It's a good thing I drank that Hennessy earlier. 61 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,833 I can't feel shit, homie! 62 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,585 - I think Kisha's dead. - Good! 63 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,533 Let's get the tuck outta here, homie! 64 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:54,965 Listen. We were never here. 65 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,511 - I'm with you, Cuz. - All right. Deuces! 66 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,459 We ghost hunters! 67 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,691 I don't know about this place, baby. 68 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,818 You've said that about every house we looked at. 69 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,986 There's just something creepy about this place, like... 70 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,822 give me the heebie-jeebies... 71 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,573 like somethin' bad happened in here. 72 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:22,227 Well, I love it. And I love you. 73 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,663 There you go, bribin' me with vagina. 74 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,832 - Whatever works. - Know when I'm weak. 75 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,235 Disgusting. 76 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,503 Oh, it's disgusting when we do it... 77 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,004 but when you kissing the whole entire... 78 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,840 sophomore class it's cool, huh? 79 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,509 Gimme that damn camera, you little gnat! 80 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,011 - Finger. Real creative. - Cut her some slack. 81 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,596 She's just goin' through a phase. 82 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,181 Yeah, a phase. It's called "whore." 83 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,184 - Look at that. Last a lifetime. - Malcolm, stop! 84 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,019 No, see, that's a phase. 85 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,564 Looks like he met an imaginary friend. It's normal. 86 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,692 What you doin' there, buddy? Wanna help me load some boxes? 87 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,561 - Cool! - A'right. My man! 88 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,197 - Sorry, Malcolm. I can't. - Why not? 89 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,951 Tony says, "Aw, hell no! I ain't yo' slave!" 90 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:07,121 Is it me or does his imaginary friend sound black? 91 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,622 Pretty progressive. 92 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,583 Why don't you and your friend go play? 93 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,487 Okay. That game sounds like fun! 94 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:18,325 I don't like the tripping game, Tony. 95 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,636 Look at all that sexy. Come here. 96 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,836 Gimme a kiss. Let's piss off your forefathers. 97 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,478 Malcolm, it's 2013. 98 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,688 Interracial relationships are not a big deal anymore. 99 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,774 Yeah, you tell that to the sistas. 100 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,651 You know, they be like, "Oh, I know he didn't!" 101 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,821 "He did not kiss that pasty ass white bitch!" 102 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:41,489 Pasty? 103 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,616 "Yes! Not with them old thin ass lips. 104 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,118 Look at them, look like baloney slices!" 105 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,663 "See he spray scrippin' and it don't make no damn sense." 106 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,999 Come here, Shiloh Junior. There's my baby boy. 107 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,002 I still can't believe you named our dog Shiloh Junior. 108 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,672 Well, I was gonna name him Shiloh ll or Shiloh the Sequel... 109 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:02,468 but he wouldn't answer to those, so Shiloh Junior it is. 110 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,470 C'mon! Hey, come on, Shiloh Junior. 111 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,638 Babe, are you gettin' this? 112 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,057 I don't understand your obsession with cameras. 113 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,643 Hey, you can never have too many cameras, okay? 114 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,686 Hey, Shiloh! Come on, baby. 115 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,772 You ready to go see your new house, Shiloh Junior? 116 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,607 Come on, Shiloh Junior. Shiloh Junior! 117 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:17,608 Hey, get inside. 118 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,151 Don't make me put bass in my voice. Hey! 119 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,152 Shiloh! 120 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,430 God, I don't know what's wrong with him. 121 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:27,827 Shit! Breathe! 122 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,401 I'm gonna call 9-1-1! 123 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,165 Call 9-1-1. Tell 'em the dog is white! 124 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,667 Tell 'em the dog is white! 125 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,038 Oh, God. I got a pulse. Breathe! Shiloh, like this... 126 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,203 Fuck! Oh, my back! Oh my fuckin' back! 127 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,208 Please, help me! 128 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,211 My fuckin' dog is a pancake! 129 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,218 Get me a goddamn pump! 130 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,267 It's working! Come on! 131 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,985 Meet me at the hospital! 132 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,154 The hospital's that way! 133 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,795 So young, never had a chance to lick his balls. 134 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,673 I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm good. 135 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,467 You know, I'm just so happy I got to spend time with Shi... 136 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,462 It's just every time I try and say the name Shiii... 137 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,010 Shiloh! 138 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,844 Oh, God, it hurts! Oh, God! 139 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,856 It's tingly in... Oh God! 140 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,035 I'm goin' with you! Oh, God! 141 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,530 Time to go, bye-bye. 142 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,867 Shiloh! 143 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,327 Junior. 144 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,933 You could put a whole lot of birth control in that. 145 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,601 I really hate you. 146 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,130 That's what your daddy said. That's why the nigga gone. 147 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,772 What've you got there? 148 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,441 An old box that I found in the basement. 149 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,610 Don't you think we should return it to the prior owners? 150 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,514 If they wanted it, they would've taken it in the first place. 151 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:31,450 Okay, look, Becky, I'm not your dad. 152 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,119 I'm just the guy that's like... your mom. 153 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,914 So I'll make you a deal. I'll let you keep the box... 154 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:40,125 if you promise to try and make this work between me and you, okay? 155 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,154 - It's for your mom. - Fine. 156 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,538 I think we're gettin' somewhere. 157 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,636 - ¿Qué pasa, mi amigo? - ¿Qué pasó, hombre? 158 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,138 Aqui nomás, me tiene trabajando como negro. Está cabrón. 159 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,382 No habla español. 160 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,062 I just do that when I'm talkin' to negritos. It's all good. 161 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,106 - Did he just call me a nigger? - What's goin' on, bro? 162 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,941 We just moved in with my girl right here... 163 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,610 and we was just wonderin' maybe if you want to add us to your route? 164 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,612 Are you serious? Dude, I live here, puto! 165 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,115 - It's my house! - Oh shit! I'm sorry. 166 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,617 I just assumed... you got the gloves and the hat... 167 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,786 and the lawnmower and the truck. 168 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,122 'Cause I'm Mexican I must be Jose! 169 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,123 Are you? 170 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,625 - No, fool! My name is Miguel! - Is that your truck? 171 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,128 - Yeah, that's my truck! - Then who's Jose? 172 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,463 That's my middle name. You wanna guess my last name? 173 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,507 You guys are here, you might as well. 174 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,842 I don't know. Rodriguez? 175 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,802 - That's racist, bro. - You asked... 176 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:34,471 - Did he ask me or what? - I'm just fuckin' with you! 177 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,474 For the record, my name is Miguel Jose... 178 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,561 Jesús González... Smith. 179 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:44,064 Wait, wait, wait. Your last name is Smith? 180 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,513 Yeah, I'm Mexican on my mom's side. 181 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:50,154 So, why is there González on your truck? 182 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,990 Shit, would you trust your garden to a guy named Smith? 183 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,868 True. True. Hey, my name is Malcolm, bro. 184 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,496 - I bet your last name is Johnson. - See, that's some racist shit! 185 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,945 - Am I right? - But you're right! 186 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,585 Nice to meet you, man. 187 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,420 Yeah, it's a pleasure meeting you! 188 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,921 I can cut your grass on Tuesdays. 189 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:10,450 What can I say, I'm a gardener by ethnic default. 190 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,245 Be good, negrito! Watch out, guera! 191 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,765 What? You gonna try and tease a brother? 192 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,975 That's a invite? Come here, let's do the quickie. 193 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,602 One, two, I'm done. 194 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:25,022 - What's that? - What? Oh! That's Abigail. 195 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,733 I found her in the wardrobe that was left here. 196 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,443 Well, put it back. Hey, stop! 197 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,444 She's creepy! 198 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,905 - We look alike. - Yeah, same eyes and pigtails. 199 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,183 Wait, no, no, don't put it on the bed! 200 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,036 How you doin'? 201 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,134 Oh, you ain't gonna say nothin', huh? 202 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,503 So... Girl you stupid. 203 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,473 You don't want none of this? Come here. 204 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,343 I can't play with it but you can. 205 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,189 Oh, you gonna bite my lip? Take that! 206 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,901 You fuckin' like this! It was gonna come. 207 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,895 It was gonna come! 208 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,359 Just wanna put the tip in. I'm gonna put the tip in a minute... 209 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,357 Look at that. 210 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,001 You got that goody. 211 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,530 Bite the pillow, bite that fuckin' pillow. 212 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,844 You gonna eat my butt now. Oh, shit! 213 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:40,875 Nigga... she... she lickin' that. 214 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,685 Oh, you taste like doo-doo. But I love it! 215 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,520 You on the pill? I don't wanna get you pregnant. 216 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,855 You wanna little doll babies? 217 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,189 They gonna have my eyes or yo' eyes... 218 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,388 You gonna give me splinters! 219 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,348 Fuck this shit, man. I wanna cry! 220 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,997 Don't look. Don't look. Hold on a second. 221 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:09,501 This side is wet with soap, this one is dry. 222 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,003 I'll clean you up, baby. 223 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,504 I mighta leaked in you. 224 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,506 I don't know if I came, I leaked a little bit. 225 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,176 That's a'right. You ain't even ovulatin'. 226 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,545 Why you trippin'? Come on, stop worrying. 227 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:28,046 - Honey, we're home! - Shit! You gotta go! 228 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,856 - Shit! No! - Malcolm! 229 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:34,860 - Hi, honey! - Honey, where are you? 230 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,029 You gotta go! We... I'm just upstairs! 231 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,556 You gotta get outta here. 232 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,871 Fuck! 233 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,239 Shit! 234 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,956 "Hanging Out". 235 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:04,249 Sounds a little soft for my taste, but... fuck it. 236 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,510 Yeah, I don't think this is right. 237 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,183 Maybe I should download the manual. 238 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:55,057 I seen some shit, but that was crazy! 239 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:59,528 A demonic figure tried to hang a family in the backyard. 240 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,780 I gotta keep this from Megan and the kids. 241 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,782 Is it weird that I was aroused by this? 242 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,185 Why is my dick bending in my jeans? 243 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,194 Hello? 244 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,962 Hello? 245 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:21,133 - Twinkle little star... - Who is this? Hello! 246 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,626 It's the Devil! 247 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,646 That's a ugly motherfucker. 248 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,924 Is that Steven Tyler? 249 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,888 What the hell? Same tree! 250 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,062 Shit! Kisha? 251 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,834 Baby, what you doin'! 252 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,836 I almost dumped the fuck out you! 253 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,504 You got to holler at me! 254 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,006 You can't just be walkin' up. 255 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,467 You gotta give me like a "whoop-ti-whoo"... 256 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,135 a "kakow!" or a "tsh-tsh"! 257 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,471 Just make your own up. Please announce yourself! 258 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:10,250 Honey, you look like you've seen a ghost. 259 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,850 I think I did. 260 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:15,145 Wait. So now I look like a ghost. 261 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,646 Excuse me, where you goin' with this? 262 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,815 So now I'm too pasty for you? 263 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,692 I can't do anything about that! 264 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,153 Unless you want me to get skin cancer from the sun. 265 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,821 And what, deep nasty wrinkles... 266 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:25,989 and then they'll have to give me chemo... 267 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,824 and I'll lose all my hair, and then I'll look like... 268 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,659 a nasty bald raisin! Is that what you want? 269 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,952 Is that what you want? 270 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,829 I don't want you to look like a raisin! 271 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,499 I don't like to date raisins, I don't like the raisins... 272 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,958 on Morgan Freeman's face! 273 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,211 I don't like the new ones that Obama got... 274 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,171 the young raisins on his face! 275 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:45,675 I don't like raisins. So please, don't look like a raisin. 276 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:50,331 I need to go meditate and get my chi back in alignment. 277 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,383 What chi? It was just... 278 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:06,613 - Walk to the light! - It's bedtime. 279 00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,949 What you all dressed up for? We goin' to a club? 280 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,785 Formal party? We goin' to a Pajama Jam? 281 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,578 - Just bed. - Come on, Megan. 282 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,956 You gotta be more comfortable with this relationship... 283 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:16,873 You're right. 284 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,750 Put on some sweat pants and some... 285 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,629 Oh, my Jesus Lord! You're naked! 286 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,632 I am. I like being naked, though. 287 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,634 I could be naked all day. 288 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,971 All day? But come on, that's not practical, hon. 289 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,222 You got a job. 290 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:35,475 You don't wanna be on the bus naked or in Starbucks naked. 291 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,143 Why not? 292 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,145 'Cause that coffee spill on you, it's hot! 293 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,729 It's gonna leave a scar. 294 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,178 Melt one of your nipples off or somethin'. 295 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,651 The camera's on, baby. 296 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:48,147 Good. Just make sure you film my good side. 297 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,992 What the fuck? Are you serious? 298 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,785 We gonna get all angles on that... 299 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,245 Oh, shit. 300 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:58,165 Baby, your creepy doll is makin' my dick scared. 301 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,000 Just let her watch. 302 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,154 You just said the right type of nasty shit! 303 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:10,169 Oh, God! I gotta replenish my fluids. 304 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,340 After round two. 305 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,647 - That was wild. - Come here, Malcolm. 306 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,267 What, aren't you done yet? 307 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,990 I am now. Ready for round three? 308 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,108 Seriously... 309 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,789 No más. No más. Oh, my God! 310 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,167 Baby, you gotta train for some shit like this! 311 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,170 Come on, Malcolm, bell's ringing. Time for round four. 312 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,506 No, no, baby. My ding-ding's knocked out cold. 313 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,008 I can't do it. Corner's throwin' in the towel! 314 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,218 Let's go, Malcolm. 315 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:54,372 I gotta get some Enswell if we keep goin'! Wait, no, baby! 316 00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,879 Right now she is tearin' me up! My God! 317 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,967 Want me to choke you? Is that what you like? 318 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,776 Stop being a bitch! 319 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:11,147 Yeah! Come on! Oh, you want some of this? 320 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,115 You like that? It's kinda like a blindfold... 321 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,234 except you can't fuckin' breathe! 322 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,120 - Feel like you're dyin'? - Thing just moved! 323 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,122 Except you can't fuckin' breathe! 324 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,241 Thing was watching! 325 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,826 You little... 326 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,836 Who was watching? 327 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,989 Oh, baby, come here. Check this out! 328 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,008 - Oh, my God! - Did you see it? 329 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,886 - How could I not? - I thought I was trippin'! 330 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,888 I am so fat! Look at me! 331 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,890 I look like a huge blubber ass! 332 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,726 - I'm like Miss Piggy in there! - What're you talking about? 333 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,812 You were gonna shoot my good side. 334 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,606 I did shoot your good side. Look, I got all that ass up in... 335 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,066 Look at all that ass, girl. 336 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,235 I'm black, brothers like an ass. 337 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,185 You know I do mean that as a compliment, right? 338 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,906 I see what's going on. 339 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,492 You hate my vagina! You think it's too loose! 340 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:58,994 It's not! It's only on the outside... 341 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,079 but once you choose a wall, it's pretty damn tight. 342 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,956 You know what, Malcolm, I have had two kids! 343 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,084 I mean, do you think the stork just dropped 'em off on the doorstep? 344 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,587 No! You're knocked up for nine months... 345 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,755 and then your lady parts are stretched to limits... 346 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,425 you cannot even fathom! 347 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,760 Okay, baby. I think your vagina's cute. 348 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,638 Erase the tape or we are never having sex again. 349 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,433 - Well, since you put it that way. - Erase the tape! 350 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,602 - Okay, I'm erasin' the tape! - I want to see you do it. 351 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,937 - I'm erasing the tape. - Erase it right now! Do it! 352 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,482 - Baby, I like the way your vagina... - Erase the tape! 353 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,610 It's not loose! I like the way it sounds! 354 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,513 Sound like it was blowin' speakers. It's... 355 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,191 You know, it's kinda like W. Ferse's bebop! 356 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,537 Who the hell's hittin' me? Abigail? 357 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,531 You got a page? 358 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,633 "In a relationship with Malcolm Johnson"? 359 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,802 I only hit it once! 360 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,046 What in the hell? 361 00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:03,183 I think I might've fucked the wrong bitch. 362 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,769 Now she's blowin' up my cell phone? 363 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:06,936 Look at that. 364 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:11,308 Straight up stalker! She's crazy! 365 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,486 Listen, it's time to turn my camera game up a level. 366 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,697 I'm talkin' bathrooms, countertops, computers... 367 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,533 stuffed animals, mouths and asses! 368 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:24,154 It's goin' down everywhere! I'm live. 369 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:28,944 Kitchen? Oh, yeah, I see you. 370 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,463 Perfect. Yeah, and I got the ass, too. 371 00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:35,992 All inconspicuous. 372 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:40,496 Told you, cameras everywhere. 373 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,931 Hey, Becky, wanna play Hide and Clap? 374 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,504 Fuck off! 375 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,975 That's, "No, thank you." 376 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,478 Let's do this. Ah, lady's blindfold. 377 00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,647 You got this out your momma's room, right? 378 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:51,481 Oh, boy. 379 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,483 Things me and your momma do with this! 380 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,485 Sometimes she tie my hands and flip me over... 381 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,654 and toss that... salad. 382 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,823 - Tony likes salad. - Anyway. 383 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:02,602 I'll put this on. Let's do it! 384 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:07,080 One, two, three. First clap! 385 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:11,031 Come on. Come on. Gimme a clap. 386 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:14,170 Yeah, I'm gettin' close. 387 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,172 I smell you. I smell you. 388 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:20,510 You smell like kids, like worms, coins and doo-doo. Like... 389 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:21,878 Shit! 390 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,809 Can we just play Tag next time? I just wanna play Tag. 391 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:31,054 Wyatt? Wyatt? 392 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,556 Where you at, you little shit? 393 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:41,564 Third clap. 394 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,949 I got you, Wyatt. 395 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,211 I win! You took your blindfold off. 396 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,547 You're right, Tony. Malcolm is an idiot. 397 00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:00,049 Take your camera, loser. 398 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:03,329 Yeah, I wanna learn how to start a fire. 399 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:08,125 What the... hell was that? 400 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,506 I coulda swore... 401 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:16,262 Shit! 402 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,844 Fucked you up! 403 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:24,517 Fuck, are you crazy! Who the fuck are you! 404 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,535 - Malcolm! Oh my God! - Baby? 405 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,829 You can't be jumpin' out on brothers like that. 406 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,831 You'll get knocked the fuck out every time. 407 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,125 - It was supposed to be a joke! - You okay? 408 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,835 'Cause I fucked you up! 409 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:38,505 Like, I hit you with the force, like with the follow-up. 410 00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:40,715 I wanna ask they replay that shit. Damn! 411 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,039 'Cause you got froze. You went, "Oh!" 412 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,421 "Please help me." 413 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,050 God, I hope this works. 414 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,015 What is that thing? 415 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,398 That is not human. 416 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,996 That was weird. 417 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:34,886 Damn. 418 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:56,207 - I caught yo' ass! - No, you didn't. 419 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,905 Bullshit! 420 00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:12,223 Becky... 421 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,475 It's your box. 422 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,685 What? 423 00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:20,011 I want you to touch me. 424 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:24,435 Okay. 425 00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:31,313 Not that box. 426 00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,000 You know I love you and those kids, right? 427 00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:41,836 I'm gonna do everything in my power to keep you guys protected. 428 00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:42,863 Yeah. 429 00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:47,875 - What was that? - What? 430 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:52,013 - That! - The wind? 431 00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:55,767 Nigga, the windows are closed! Okay? 432 00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,186 I'm tellin' you, that was either a ghost or a demon. 433 00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:01,010 Or maybe it was a demon pregnant with a ghost. 434 00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:04,347 Oh, this is cute! 435 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:08,973 I'm gonna so wear this, all day, every day. 436 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,949 What if it's a burglar? 437 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:13,451 Why the fuck are you excited? It's a burglar! 438 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:15,620 Either way it goes, it's some scary shit! 439 00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,580 Okay, not all burglars are scary. 440 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:20,875 - It is a burglar or a ghost! - If you talk to him, he'll leave. 441 00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:23,086 - You shoot it in the face! - You've talked to him already. 442 00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,629 If the motherfucker's foot do this... 443 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:27,006 - ...you shoot him in the face again! - That is way too harsh. 444 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,257 What're you gonna do? 445 00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:30,677 - I'll handle it. - What're you gonna do? 446 00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:31,678 Shoot him. 447 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,832 You are not allowed to shoot anyone in the face, mister! 448 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,343 Becky? 449 00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:50,029 What in the...? Becky! Oh, God! 450 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,490 Becky! Becky! 451 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,158 Becky! Oh, my God! 452 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:58,905 - Get me somethin', Megan! Becky! - Here's the fly swatter! 453 00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:08,464 That's just gross. That fuckin' sound, it bothers me. 454 00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:10,162 - Use this! - Gimme! 455 00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:19,342 - Here's what I got! - Gimme! 456 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,982 Get that thing outta here! I got an idea! 457 00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:29,235 Come on! Bitch, why ain't you movin'? 458 00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:30,512 Fuck! 459 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,398 See, now this is a good idea. 460 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,518 A'right. G'night, Becky. 461 00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:39,278 Night, sweetheart. 462 00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:47,587 - Hey, buddy, what you doin'? - Havin' a tea party. 463 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:50,923 You wanna go outside and do somethin' a little more masculine? 464 00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:54,919 - Like play some football? - No, not really. 465 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,931 Don't sit there! That's Tony's seat! 466 00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:00,629 Oh, sorry. 467 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:02,685 My bad, Tony. 468 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:07,307 Tony says, "No problem, bee-yotch." Want some tea? 469 00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:10,310 Yeah.... sure. 470 00:26:10,778 --> 00:26:15,979 You know, Wyatt, about your little buddy Tony... 471 00:26:16,450 --> 00:26:18,785 I don't think he's such a good Influence on you... 472 00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,483 know what I mean? 473 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:27,820 - What the...? That's straight vodka! - Tony calls it tea. 474 00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,922 He drinks a lot of tea. 475 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:33,800 I really think you guys need to stop this friendship. 476 00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:35,968 He doesn't think that's such a good idea. 477 00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:38,054 You know what, you tell Tony... 478 00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:40,765 that I said you and him ain't gonna be friends no more... 479 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:42,839 and that's final! 480 00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:48,481 On second thought, you and Tony have a beautiful friendship. 481 00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:50,691 Okay, I'll be downstairs doin' somethin'... 482 00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:52,184 With less fuckin' chairs. 483 00:26:52,653 --> 00:26:56,114 This isn't good. It's happening again. 484 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,313 It's really fuckin' happening. 485 00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:01,479 What the fuck? 486 00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,156 Who is it? 487 00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:15,333 Hello? 488 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:19,337 That's a spooky knock. 489 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:22,974 Oh, you better run! 490 00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,594 Knock on my door, come out there and slap you... 491 00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:27,845 What the fuck! 492 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,348 I got a knife! 493 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,238 "Miss Me?" Abigail! 494 00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,003 Aw, hell no! Look, we gotta talk. 495 00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,839 This is a mistake, okay? This shit gotta stop. 496 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,048 It's gone too far. 497 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,176 You see this? "Miss me"? 498 00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,595 In the house with Megan, are you fuckin' crazy? 499 00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:04,515 I take full responsibility, all right? This is my bad. 500 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:07,560 I don't mean to sound clichéd. It's not you, it's me. 501 00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:10,855 Don't play fuckin' innocent with me, you knew I had a girl! 502 00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:12,815 I'm just bein' selfish right now. 503 00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:14,775 I would love to have you and Megan and... 504 00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,944 be honest with you, my stuffed animals. 505 00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:18,905 I'd like to bring them in the mix. 506 00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:22,150 I'm tryin' to make this work. You're just not makin' it easy. 507 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,820 I swear to... Fuck! 508 00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:30,666 You see what you made me do? Only you do this to me! 509 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:31,959 Fuckin' crazy! 510 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,284 Oh, you lucky my momma told me, don't hit bitches! 511 00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:42,503 Enough. 512 00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:46,140 Fuck, you scare... 513 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:48,142 I didn't touch you! I didn't touch you! 514 00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:51,171 You get outta my life, I'll get outta yours. I'm done. 515 00:28:57,486 --> 00:28:59,012 Make no mistake... 516 00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:02,482 after this, it's over. 517 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,143 You ready to go again? Yeah. 518 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:14,418 - Hello, Malcolm? - Professor Wilde. How you doin'? 519 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:16,128 Malcolm, I'm glad you reached out. 520 00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:17,922 What exactly am I dealing with here? 521 00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:21,676 Well, the being you described to me is a demon! 522 00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:22,760 Fuck, I knew it! 523 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:26,097 A rare and obscure one from Babylonian times... 524 00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:29,433 named Ahghoul. And he's a trickster! 525 00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:32,937 And chances are this is not your first encounter with this demon. 526 00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:35,773 Have you had paranormal experiences in your past? 527 00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:38,109 Actually, yeah. About a year ago. 528 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:41,354 This is way worse than I had thought... 529 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:45,525 - Oh, shit! - Fuck! 530 00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,120 Nigga, I thought somebody was shootin'! 531 00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:50,079 Thai food! 532 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,124 It's spicy going in, but it's twice as spicy going out! 533 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,126 That's scientifically impossible! 534 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,962 I smell you in here! What in the hell! 535 00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,364 Excuse me. 536 00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:06,637 - I hire based on skill level. - Are those titties? 537 00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:09,682 Ladies, remember, we're making meth, not baby aspirin. 538 00:30:09,683 --> 00:30:13,644 All the stories revolve around Ahghoul's attempts... 539 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,480 to trick people into bringing him into our world... 540 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,816 and it can come in the form of a possession... 541 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,818 a spirit that only a child can see... 542 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:24,822 or an ancient object that lures in the impressionable. 543 00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:27,825 So what you're saying is something is coming after me and my family. 544 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,660 Malcolm, that's exactly what I'm saying. 545 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,662 Damn it, Jessica, you've got your tit in the pseudophedrine! 546 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,164 Sorry, Malcolm. I wish you good luck. 547 00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:35,067 Gotta get my "Breaking Bad" on. 548 00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:49,209 Tonight you drown. 549 00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:53,918 Not again. 550 00:30:58,190 --> 00:31:00,592 Sink. Sink. Sink. 551 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:04,862 Ruined a perfectly good leather jacket! 552 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:08,824 That's it. Now we drown. Drown! 553 00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:10,351 Drown! 554 00:31:13,497 --> 00:31:15,069 Prepare to meet Hell. 555 00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:17,613 God, that hurl! 556 00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:22,872 My balls. This isn't over! 557 00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:28,628 Is Ahghoul the same demon that possessed Kisha? 558 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:33,516 When are the Republicans gonna slip... 559 00:31:33,517 --> 00:31:36,185 and call Obama the N-word? 560 00:31:36,186 --> 00:31:39,188 When are they gonna stop makin' scary movies... 561 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:40,689 without the Wayans? 562 00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:42,216 They fuckin' suck! 563 00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:52,060 What the hell? 564 00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:14,840 Steroids, bitch! 565 00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:29,184 You messed with the wrong nigga today! 566 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:36,162 Baby, put it down! What are you doing? 567 00:32:36,163 --> 00:32:38,664 I come in the hallway, fuckin' creepy box... 568 00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:40,666 with somethin' weird fuckin' alive in it! 569 00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:43,127 And I knew that it was death in the box! 570 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:44,628 So I killed it! 571 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:47,840 - Baby, it was a gift! - But it ain't Christmas. 572 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:51,010 - Baby, no. - Kwanzaa? 573 00:32:51,011 --> 00:32:53,554 You were so upset when Shiloh Junior died... 574 00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:56,049 that the kids and I thought we would get you... 575 00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:03,105 - Don't look. Don't look. - Oh, my God! 576 00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:05,008 Wyatt, go to your room! 577 00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:07,651 I killed a baby. 578 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,987 Oh God, I think it's still breathing. 579 00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:12,823 - You're so fucking crazy. - He's still breathing. 580 00:33:12,824 --> 00:33:16,854 I gotta take him out of misery. I gotta kill him! 581 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:28,869 Becky? 582 00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:34,037 A'right, let's see what's in this box now. 583 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:41,519 God! Wow! That stinks! 584 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,021 - What the hell are you doing? - Nothing. Just... 585 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,690 You know your pillows have blue faces on 'em? 586 00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:48,692 - Stay away from my box! - Calm down! 587 00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:50,653 - Would you calm down? - I don't wanna calm down. 588 00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:52,196 I want you to stay away from my box! 589 00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:53,864 Do you have to say "box" so loud? 590 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,699 What is going on in here? 591 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:59,203 Nothing. We just playin'. Dolls 'n stuff. 592 00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:02,456 Malcolm came into my room and touched my box. 593 00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:06,126 - Malcolm, is this true? - Yes, but only for like two seconds. 594 00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:08,796 It was stinking! Like, it was rancid! 595 00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:11,799 Here, smell this. I don't know how she play with that! 596 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,843 He had two fingers in my tight little box, Mom. 597 00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:15,886 Stop lyin'. 598 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,889 Baby, there's nothin' tight about her box. 599 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:21,976 It's fuckin' huge! I could put my whole fist in it. 600 00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:25,062 Like, I almost was up to here for a second. It's crazy big. 601 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:26,689 You said, "No means no!" 602 00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:28,816 And that is exactly what I said. I said "No!" 603 00:34:28,817 --> 00:34:31,515 - I did. - Time the fuck out. 604 00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:35,614 She's trying to Dateline Special the nigga! 605 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,741 Where's Chris Hansen? Chris! Chris! 606 00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:39,827 Chris, come on, I know you around here somewhere! 607 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:42,496 I know he's in here somewhere. You tryin' to set a nigga up! 608 00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:44,665 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Right now. 609 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:46,750 There's something really strange goin' on in this house. 610 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,044 Wyatt? Wyatt, see, Wyatt used to be my boy. 611 00:34:49,045 --> 00:34:51,839 Like that was my lil' nigga, like we was like boom-boom! 612 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,842 When my dog died, that lil' nigga helped me dah! 613 00:34:54,843 --> 00:34:56,844 But lately, he hasn't even talked to me! 614 00:34:56,845 --> 00:34:58,012 Like, he won't even play with me! 615 00:34:58,013 --> 00:35:01,007 His little imaginary friend, Tony? I don't think he's really... 616 00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:05,102 - You're crazy, Tony. - Imagine that. 617 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:08,606 Did you see that shit? Look! You missed it! 618 00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,108 Okay, look, forget him. Becky. 619 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:13,777 There's something in that old box she carries around... 620 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:15,195 that's making her go crazy! 621 00:35:15,196 --> 00:35:16,947 She sleeps with it, she eats with it... 622 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,657 she even goes to the bathroom with it! 623 00:35:18,658 --> 00:35:21,118 Who takes a shit with a box in their hand? 624 00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:22,453 It's fuckin' weird! 625 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:26,123 And by "weird' you mean I'm a terrible mother. 626 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,041 What? No. Wait. 627 00:35:27,042 --> 00:35:29,460 Where did you go? Hold on a minute. Hold on. 628 00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:31,795 If you were just a little less judgmental... 629 00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:33,797 she wouldn't feel like she needs to carry her pain... 630 00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,799 - around in a "box"! - This is not about me! 631 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,718 It is always about you, Malcolm! 632 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,970 "You're too fat, you're a terrible parent... 633 00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:42,181 you like black guys 'cause they have bigger cocks!" 634 00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:45,142 That sounds like you! Do you see this? 635 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,144 That's not fuckin' normal! 636 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:49,813 Okay, she is just trying to get attention! 637 00:35:49,814 --> 00:35:52,149 When she was a baby, she would cry and cry... 638 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,068 and cry all damn day in her crib... 639 00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,487 until finally she realized I wasn't gonna come... 640 00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:57,571 and pick her up! 641 00:35:57,572 --> 00:35:59,239 If you were a parent you'd know it's called... 642 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,783 the "cry it out method", Malcolm! 643 00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:02,951 Just pick the little bitch up! 644 00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:05,162 She needs to learn somethin', too. 645 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:06,789 See what I'm saying? 646 00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:11,627 - That is called parenting. - Wow! Mother of the Year. 647 00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:12,995 Thank you. 648 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:16,832 That crazy doll keyed my car! 649 00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:19,968 Bro, somebody fucked your car up! 650 00:36:19,969 --> 00:36:21,637 You wouldn't know anybody... 651 00:36:21,638 --> 00:36:23,472 - ...with a auto body shop? - Are you serious? 652 00:36:23,473 --> 00:36:24,807 Why, contrary to popular belief... 653 00:36:24,808 --> 00:36:26,517 all Mexicans don't have body shops. 654 00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:27,851 What, you think we all have low riders... 655 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:29,186 with a bunch of primer all over it... 656 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,521 with a frickin' Mexican horn? 657 00:36:30,522 --> 00:36:32,815 You think I have like six kids and all my relatives livin' there? 658 00:36:32,816 --> 00:36:34,191 Probably chase Chihuahuas and make burritos... 659 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:35,192 is that what you think? 660 00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:37,820 - Look at the neighborhood, man! - I didn't think any of that! 661 00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:41,851 - I just want my fuckin' car fixed! - I'm just fuckin' with you, bro! 662 00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:44,159 You're so easy, man. Oh, shit. 663 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,661 I got a cousin, his name is Chucho... 664 00:36:45,662 --> 00:36:47,162 he can hook all that shit up, all right? 665 00:36:47,163 --> 00:36:48,664 Stop fuckin' with the crazy bitches. 666 00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:50,165 I gotta go, I got the family waiting. All right? 667 00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:50,833 Be good, man! 668 00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:52,907 Where did she go? 669 00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:56,588 - Take it easy, vato! - Where you goin'? 670 00:36:56,589 --> 00:36:57,881 Goin' to the swap meet. 671 00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:00,175 We're gonna get some Chihuahuas. 672 00:37:00,176 --> 00:37:01,998 Now that's racist! 673 00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:07,099 So I moved into the house across the street and I just love it. 674 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:10,128 The streets are so quiet. It's perfect for a haunting. 675 00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:14,940 You know, I never got your name. 676 00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:18,110 Kisha? What in the fuck! 677 00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:21,447 - You two know each other? - Oh! Well, yeah. 678 00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:24,158 You know the boyfriend that I told you abandoned me... 679 00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,311 and left me in a ditch to die? 680 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,150 That's him. 681 00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:32,791 - Awkward! - Yeah! 682 00:37:32,792 --> 00:37:35,753 I think I'll let you two have at it. 683 00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:38,964 And thank you so much, Megan, for the coffee, really. 684 00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:42,539 And, Malcolm, it was great seeing you. 685 00:37:43,970 --> 00:37:45,496 See you around, Malcolm. 686 00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:49,842 Really? 687 00:37:50,643 --> 00:37:53,137 How come you never told me about her? 688 00:37:53,146 --> 00:37:56,565 Well, it was just a time in my life I just wanted to forget. 689 00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:58,984 You need to star': remembering. She was fucking beautiful! 690 00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:01,945 - She was a'ight. - "A'ight"? 691 00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:04,782 - I mean, she got nice legs. - Legs. 692 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:09,154 - Little ass, but... - Ass. How 'bout all this? 693 00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:13,123 It's fuckable. Okay? But that's the... all this... 694 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,541 She's crazy! 695 00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:16,627 She was crazy, baby, like she was possessed! 696 00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:19,755 - You mean she was possessive. - No, the bitch was possessed. 697 00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:21,157 - What? - Yes! 698 00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:23,634 First of all, she was verbally abusive. 699 00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,177 Hey, baby, what's for dinner? 700 00:38:25,178 --> 00:38:28,127 Eat your mothers pussy you fucking fuck! 701 00:38:30,475 --> 00:38:32,142 It was like she gave up. 702 00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:35,062 Eventually I was able to drag her to couples' therapy. 703 00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:37,731 Dr. Rousch, me and my girlfriend, we're kinda goin' through... 704 00:38:37,732 --> 00:38:39,483 a little rough patch. 705 00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,652 I mean, she won't communicate with me. 706 00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:44,021 No matter what I do, she just sits there. 707 00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:47,658 Okay, and she'll growl a little bit. 708 00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:48,909 Yes, I can hear that. 709 00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,953 And the smallest things just set her off. 710 00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,163 Like crucifixes, or questions. 711 00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,032 Is that right, Kisha? 712 00:38:58,503 --> 00:39:00,504 You got a prescription for "crazy bitch"? 713 00:39:00,505 --> 00:39:03,006 Oh, Malcolm, I'm so sorry. 714 00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:07,958 - It sounds horrible. - Well, wasn't all bad. 715 00:39:08,096 --> 00:39:11,966 - Wait, I'm come. - Shut up, you little bitch! 716 00:39:13,935 --> 00:39:16,133 I think you just knocked out a tooth! 717 00:39:17,647 --> 00:39:20,607 Whose ass is this, huh? Whose ass is this? 718 00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:22,305 The Devil's! 719 00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:27,018 See, now you just made it weird. 720 00:39:27,115 --> 00:39:29,483 Look at me, goddamnit! 721 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:36,157 Oh, my God, that was awesome! 722 00:39:37,792 --> 00:39:40,627 Oh baby, you're makin' my toes do this. 723 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:42,212 You're makin' my toes do this. 724 00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,714 Really, Malcolm? 725 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:46,493 You know what they say about the crazy ones. 726 00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:50,166 What? Too soon? 727 00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:58,145 There's somethin' goin' on with this box. 728 00:39:58,146 --> 00:40:00,344 I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. 729 00:40:01,190 --> 00:40:04,184 What the heck is this little pervert doin'? 730 00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:09,356 Oh, dude, that is just weird! 731 00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:12,859 Oh, really? 732 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:19,166 What kind of sweet tooth fairy is this? 733 00:40:19,167 --> 00:40:21,835 - This nigga need a daddy. - "Dear Diary. 734 00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:24,504 I lost my virginity to Joey today. 735 00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,840 Actually, that's not totally true. 736 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:30,211 I mean, I've only had sex with seven... 737 00:40:30,511 --> 00:40:31,845 teen guys... 738 00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,874 but only in the butt, so it doesn't count." 739 00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:39,186 "I mean, I've sucked a lot of dicks, Diary. 740 00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:41,021 I stopped counting after the blowjob party... 741 00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:42,105 at Ashley's house. 742 00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:44,191 There must've been 30 or 40 guys there." 743 00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:45,692 She ain't got no bone in her neck. 744 00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:47,027 She got that Plastic Man. 745 00:40:47,028 --> 00:40:51,399 "PS: Diary, I'll never stop sucking dicks. Ever!" 746 00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:56,161 Would you look there? 747 00:40:56,162 --> 00:40:58,205 A mood ring. So, what mood is that? 748 00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:00,207 It's called: "You're not my father". 749 00:41:00,208 --> 00:41:02,125 Yeah, that's bitchy lil' white teenager. 750 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:04,870 See, that'll get you slapped in most black neighborhoods. 751 00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:10,830 Are you okay? 752 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:13,871 Becky? 753 00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:23,981 That is some serious meat-mouth you got goin' on there. 754 00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:29,229 It's easier going down than it is coming up. Yeah, it's weird. 755 00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:32,155 Breath smell like sirloin. 756 00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:35,059 I hope that hole cold ain't contagious. 757 00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:40,189 Professor, it's kinda loud there. 758 00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:42,900 Did I catch you at a bad time? 759 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:47,170 Endicott? I'm a sativa man. I got important shit to do! 760 00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:49,840 Hold on! I'm at a party. 761 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:52,369 I need some of my medicine. 762 00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:59,258 Professor! How do I get rid of the demon? 763 00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:01,810 Professor! Professor! 764 00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,979 Malcolm, that demon's tryin' to get to you through... 765 00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:05,981 your family and he's not gonna stop! 766 00:42:05,982 --> 00:42:07,816 You've got the paranormal equivalent... 767 00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:09,651 of a perfect storm, my friend! 768 00:42:09,652 --> 00:42:11,486 Oh shit! The po-po! 769 00:42:11,487 --> 00:42:12,988 Professor, please! What's goin' on? 770 00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:15,157 I got 12 ounces of crystal meth jammed up my anus. 771 00:42:15,158 --> 00:42:16,241 I gotta get outta here! 772 00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:18,076 - Police! - Oh, fuck! 773 00:42:18,077 --> 00:42:20,162 Professor! Professor, please! 774 00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:22,998 - Hands up now! - I can't go back in! 775 00:42:22,999 --> 00:42:26,323 Professor! How do I get rid of the demon? 776 00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:33,202 You're under arrest! You on the screen, freeze! 777 00:42:36,846 --> 00:42:38,463 Hey, knothead! 778 00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:42,017 Oh no, not my favorite shirt. That bitch. 779 00:42:42,018 --> 00:42:43,340 What the...? 780 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,548 Oh, my God! Are you fucking kidding me? 781 00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:50,385 No, no, no! Not my clothes! No! 782 00:42:55,865 --> 00:42:58,742 Oh, shit! This crazy wooden bitch! 783 00:42:58,743 --> 00:43:00,619 She's burning my clothes! 784 00:43:00,620 --> 00:43:03,622 Oh, my God! Oh, it's "Fatal Attraction". 785 00:43:03,623 --> 00:43:06,822 She's gonna boil a rabbit! She's gonna boil a rabbit! 786 00:43:08,628 --> 00:43:10,796 - Can I get you somethin' to drink? - Sure, man. 787 00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,089 - Tequila? - Really, bro? 788 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:14,091 What, you bring the Mexican into your house and: 789 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:16,468 "He must want tequila, we should give him tequila." 790 00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:18,804 "I'm glad he parked his burro so now I can offer him... 791 00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:20,097 some of his beverage." 792 00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,973 I bet you this shit has a worm in it. 793 00:43:21,974 --> 00:43:23,975 Should've walked in here with a serape and a sombrero... 794 00:43:23,976 --> 00:43:26,144 for you too, huh? That's what you wanted really, wasn't it? 795 00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:30,015 You get me all worked up, man! Look, I could use a drink now. 796 00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:32,484 What kind of tequila is it? Is it silver? 797 00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:34,820 'Cause I can't drink that gold shit. That's for cholos. 798 00:43:34,821 --> 00:43:37,280 - Thank you, man. - We're becomin' friends, right? 799 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:38,978 Now we are. 800 00:43:39,826 --> 00:43:43,662 - I could trust you with things. - I mean, I can keep a secret, man. 801 00:43:43,663 --> 00:43:44,955 I'm good at that shit. 802 00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:46,498 The neighbors next door to me don't even know... 803 00:43:46,499 --> 00:43:47,666 there's a black guy living here yet. 804 00:43:47,667 --> 00:43:49,284 So, what do you wanna talk about? 805 00:43:49,502 --> 00:43:53,505 Okay, you know the people that lived in this house before me? 806 00:43:53,506 --> 00:43:55,674 Was there anything strange goin' on... 807 00:43:55,675 --> 00:43:58,051 like were they actin' weird or anything? 808 00:43:58,052 --> 00:44:00,671 You saw somethin' a little... 809 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:05,475 - spooky, or supernatural...? - I seen some shit. 810 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:07,602 Come on, man, you don't believe in that, do you? 811 00:44:07,603 --> 00:44:09,146 'Cause if you did, you know, you'd have been like... 812 00:44:09,147 --> 00:44:11,148 "Nigger, I'm out! Not gonna do this." 813 00:44:11,149 --> 00:44:13,650 You mean to tell me you don't believe in the paranormal? 814 00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:16,153 'Course I believe in that shit! I'm half Mexican, bro! 815 00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:18,822 I believe in all that shit people don't believe in. 816 00:44:18,823 --> 00:44:24,161 Freakin' La Llorona, El Cucui, Chupacabra, Bigfoot, Obamacare. 817 00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:25,829 Interracial dating. Nuclear war. 818 00:44:25,830 --> 00:44:28,498 You name it, I'm all for it. 819 00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:31,835 Me personally, I wouldn't stay one night in this house. 820 00:44:31,836 --> 00:44:33,003 Oh, shit! 821 00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:35,088 Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, bro. 822 00:44:35,089 --> 00:44:37,507 When I first found out that there was a black guy... 823 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:38,758 movin' in the neighborhood... 824 00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:41,678 I was like... there goes the property value... 825 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,680 I'm gonna have to keep the kids inside... 826 00:44:43,681 --> 00:44:44,848 there's gonna be gangs... 827 00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:47,893 I'm gonna have to cover graffiti, but you turned out to be okay. 828 00:44:47,894 --> 00:44:48,894 You're really cool! 829 00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:52,189 You're very accommodating. I think I can help you. 830 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:53,341 Really. 831 00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:56,860 I need you to cut the chicken's neck. 832 00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:58,195 Oh, hell fuckin' no! 833 00:44:58,196 --> 00:44:59,863 You wanna get rid of the demon or not? 834 00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:01,865 I know, but can't we just go down to the store... 835 00:45:01,866 --> 00:45:03,867 - ...and just like, buy a chicken? - No, man! 836 00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:06,203 You need a blood sacrifice. 837 00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:08,788 Right. Come here. Let's do it. 838 00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:10,790 Hold on! Hold up, wait a second! 839 00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:12,542 Let me get my shit together. 840 00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:14,991 You gonna shit in my baby's cereal, chicken? 841 00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:19,326 You wanna piss on my momma? In her face? 842 00:45:21,802 --> 00:45:24,000 I'll fuck your thing! 843 00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:28,558 Where did you get this chicken? Your uncle's farm? 844 00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,427 No! A cock fighting ring. 845 00:45:30,478 --> 00:45:32,346 You so dead, motherfucka. 846 00:45:41,155 --> 00:45:43,990 Whassup, chicken, you scared? Whassup? 847 00:45:43,991 --> 00:45:46,359 You don't want none of this, motherfucker! 848 00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:53,197 Bite him back, Malcolm! Bite him back! 849 00:45:56,671 --> 00:45:57,837 Drown, bitch! 850 00:45:57,838 --> 00:45:59,865 I'll kill your ass! 851 00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:03,457 Watch what I do to your fuckin' baby! 852 00:46:07,431 --> 00:46:09,959 What you doin', man? What'd you do? 853 00:46:12,687 --> 00:46:14,964 This pollo is loco! 854 00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:23,113 You got him, Malcolm! That's right! 855 00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:25,391 Yeah, you fucked that chicken. 856 00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:36,626 You gotta go to that great bucket in the sky! 857 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:39,029 Tell the Colonel I said hi! 858 00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:44,092 Shit! 859 00:46:44,093 --> 00:46:47,137 That was like an intense-ass game of Angry Birds, man! 860 00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:50,140 Fuck, bro, you did it! I think this house is clean! 861 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:52,976 Well, maybe not clean, but the demon's gone for sure. 862 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:55,645 What the hell are we gonna do with all this chicken, Malcolm? 863 00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,048 Oh, yeah, ask the black guy. 864 00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:03,850 Cheers. Right on! 865 00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:10,481 What in the fuck! 866 00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:15,081 You! This is nuts! 867 00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:19,127 You hear me, you googly-eyed bitch wanton bitch! Come on! 868 00:47:19,128 --> 00:47:23,999 You're making me bury your fuckin' ass! 869 00:47:29,138 --> 00:47:30,505 Get in there! 870 00:47:30,806 --> 00:47:33,004 Die there, bitch! 871 00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:36,420 B-I-T... 872 00:47:36,479 --> 00:47:38,973 Fuckin' bitch! 873 00:47:40,483 --> 00:47:42,180 You want some of this? 874 00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:48,656 All right, prepare to meet your maker! 875 00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:52,527 That's right, I'm sending you back to Taiwan! 876 00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:55,246 You smell like piss and shit! 877 00:47:55,247 --> 00:47:58,116 Come on! You make me sick! 878 00:48:01,420 --> 00:48:03,922 You know what brown can do for me? Take this! 879 00:48:03,923 --> 00:48:06,792 You sign! Get the fuck outta here! 880 00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:11,930 See, I tried to do it the easy way. 881 00:48:11,931 --> 00:48:14,182 Now you're gonna make me violent. 882 00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:17,462 Come on, you fuck! Shut up! 883 00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:23,441 How you like that, bitch? I want you to watch. 884 00:48:23,442 --> 00:48:25,435 Let's see you writing now! 885 00:48:26,779 --> 00:48:29,614 Miss me? This is fun. 886 00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:32,484 We about to have a barbecue. Get in there. 887 00:48:33,452 --> 00:48:35,120 Yeah! Hey, how you doin'? 888 00:48:35,121 --> 00:48:37,990 You gonna fuckin' burn today, baby! 889 00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:43,487 That's what fucking hell feels like! 890 00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:11,114 You fuckin', fuckin' doll! 891 00:49:11,115 --> 00:49:14,701 I don't want you! Just die, you little... 892 00:49:14,702 --> 00:49:19,152 I'll fuckin' cut your goddamn eye out, you bitch! 893 00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,325 Malcolm! 894 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,462 - Don't say nothing. - What did you do to our room? 895 00:49:25,463 --> 00:49:27,130 Honey, it's not what it looks like, okay? 896 00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:29,048 - Really? - Listen, listen to me. 897 00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:32,635 This one, she's crazy! It's not me, she's crazy! 898 00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:34,804 - You're crazy. You're crazy. - No, honey! 899 00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:36,806 - It's not what it looks like! - Yeah, right. 900 00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:40,143 I'm not done wit' you, you fuckin' home-wrecker! 901 00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:41,511 God! 902 00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:44,647 See, nobody will listen to the black guy! 903 00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:47,233 So everybody dead! I see how you lookin' at me. 904 00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:50,487 Let me tell you somethin': This house is haunted. 905 00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:53,156 You know that little doll that you like so much? Abigail? 906 00:49:53,157 --> 00:49:55,158 Let me tell you somethin' about Abigail. 907 00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:56,159 She's alive! 908 00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:58,495 That's right, she's alive! 909 00:49:58,496 --> 00:50:02,165 Not like alive, alive, but alive as in "is possessed." 910 00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,583 You know how I know? 911 00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:06,169 'Cause it made me have sex with it! Repeatedly! 912 00:50:06,170 --> 00:50:09,589 Upstairs, downstairs, in the kitchen, in the yard! 913 00:50:09,590 --> 00:50:11,633 While you were sleepin' next to us! 914 00:50:11,634 --> 00:50:13,510 Right there where you're sitting, twice! 915 00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:16,012 And that's why, when you came upstairs and you caught me... 916 00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:18,723 and I was killing the doll, because I was just like... 917 00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:20,517 "You're fuckin' up my relationship!" 918 00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:23,216 And that box? It's cursed! 919 00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:25,522 That box and that box. 920 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:28,024 That's haunted with a demon. That box, cursed with dudes. 921 00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:29,025 But that's a whole 'nother story. 922 00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:30,860 And your son, his little imaginary friend... 923 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:34,197 that teaches him curse words and gets him crunk on vodka! 924 00:50:34,198 --> 00:50:37,116 Yeah, yeah, I'm blowing your spot, little man. 925 00:50:37,117 --> 00:50:40,036 - Well, he's not so imaginary! - He's cray! 926 00:50:40,037 --> 00:50:42,705 No, no, no. You cray! You cray-cray! 927 00:50:42,706 --> 00:50:45,083 You and your whole lot of other ethnic words... 928 00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:47,877 that's goin' out of style. You ain't funky fresh or dope. 929 00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:49,546 So, how 'bout that, cray-cray? 930 00:50:49,547 --> 00:50:51,574 Mom, he's scaring me. 931 00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:55,218 Is that the nigga whose room exploded? 932 00:50:55,219 --> 00:50:58,555 I'm scarin' you! Opie, you somethin' else! 933 00:50:58,556 --> 00:51:00,223 You know what, that's it. 934 00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:03,226 I've had enough of this whole haunted house craziness! 935 00:51:03,227 --> 00:51:05,728 It's bad enough that you think it's real... 936 00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:07,814 but now you're scaring the kids! 937 00:51:07,815 --> 00:51:09,148 - I'm scaring the kids! - Yes! 938 00:51:09,149 --> 00:51:12,986 Ain't that the pot callin' the kettle a nigga! 939 00:51:12,987 --> 00:51:14,028 No, no, no, baby! 940 00:51:14,029 --> 00:51:17,240 Your kids are scaring me! Okay? 941 00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:18,533 Look at this one! 942 00:51:18,534 --> 00:51:19,993 She's Marilyn Manson in the skin... 943 00:51:19,994 --> 00:51:21,869 and Charlie Manson in the eyes! 944 00:51:21,870 --> 00:51:23,246 Her eyes are crazy, okay? 945 00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:25,665 That's a crazy woman carryin' around a box... 946 00:51:25,666 --> 00:51:27,041 like fuckin' Lionel on the Peanuts... 947 00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:30,086 and he's hangin' out with dead niggas and I'm crazy? 948 00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:32,171 So, what am I supposed to do with all this? 949 00:51:32,172 --> 00:51:34,799 Maybe you weren't ready! Maybe we moved in too soon. 950 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,843 Maybe you're not ready for a family! 951 00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:38,886 But we come as a package deal, okay? 952 00:51:38,887 --> 00:51:41,039 This ain't about you or them, okay? 953 00:51:41,515 --> 00:51:42,515 Bullshit. 954 00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:44,517 No! Hey! Don't touch that shit! 955 00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:47,770 Don't touch it! There's a demon ring. 956 00:51:47,771 --> 00:51:49,522 Don't you answer that, you hear? 957 00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:51,274 That's the devil callin' right there. 958 00:51:51,275 --> 00:51:53,276 That is an evil ring! You hear that? 959 00:51:53,277 --> 00:51:55,695 Yeah, I said it, a demon ring! 960 00:51:55,696 --> 00:51:58,865 And you can insta tweet that on your gram-o-vine! 961 00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,233 Nobody touch it! 962 00:52:00,784 --> 00:52:03,528 Stop ringing! 963 00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:09,201 Stop ringing! Stop! 964 00:52:13,464 --> 00:52:17,334 - That's a demon callin'. - Malcolm? Your pocket. 965 00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:24,140 We gotta change my ringer. 966 00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:27,810 Why do we even have home phones anymore? 967 00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:29,007 I mean... 968 00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:32,482 Yeah? Who is it? 969 00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:33,816 What the hell? 970 00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:37,061 Hey, how you doin', officer? What's goin' on? 971 00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,823 We got a call about a domestic dispute. 972 00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,241 Are you Malcolm Johnson? 973 00:52:42,242 --> 00:52:44,661 Yeah, that's me, but there's no dispute. 974 00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:45,912 I mean, the phone, but... 975 00:52:45,913 --> 00:52:47,997 - You're under arrest. - For what? 976 00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:50,708 - Oh, my God! - Just raised the voice a little bit! 977 00:52:50,709 --> 00:52:52,502 How could I call? My phone is broken! 978 00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:54,671 I know what... It's the doll! It's the doll! 979 00:52:54,672 --> 00:52:56,005 It was the doll, brother, listen! 980 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,841 There's this doll, I was fuckin' this doll, right? 981 00:52:58,842 --> 00:53:01,135 - He's on PCP. - No, I'm not on PCP! 982 00:53:01,136 --> 00:53:03,805 You fuckin' bitch! You fuckin' bitch! 983 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,473 You fuckin' bitch! 984 00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:07,501 Malcolm, maybe this is for the best. 985 00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:52,213 Canister of gas for death. 986 00:53:56,525 --> 00:53:59,895 Now you burn... fire. 987 00:54:34,646 --> 00:54:36,013 What is... 988 00:54:38,150 --> 00:54:39,517 Malcolm? 989 00:54:46,992 --> 00:54:48,518 Malcolm? 990 00:54:49,536 --> 00:54:52,655 Damn, son, you look fucked up! 991 00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:56,000 Don't look at me. Don't look at me! 992 00:54:56,001 --> 00:54:59,170 Mom, your man's in here pukin' like a little bitch! 993 00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:01,198 See that shit, Tony? 994 00:55:04,968 --> 00:55:07,053 Sometimes the victim may be tormented... 995 00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:08,805 by more than one demon. 996 00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:10,807 These cases lead to transference. 997 00:55:10,808 --> 00:55:12,975 Trans who? What the fuck is that, dog? 998 00:55:12,976 --> 00:55:15,812 - Father Williams! Mind your tongue. - You are a man of the cloth! 999 00:55:15,813 --> 00:55:18,648 Damn man, ain't like I'm rapin' mu'fuckers no more... 1000 00:55:18,649 --> 00:55:20,107 you know what I'm sayin'? 1001 00:55:20,108 --> 00:55:22,693 Shit. Keep on wit' your little lesson, brother. 1002 00:55:22,694 --> 00:55:25,696 Victims have also been known to break their own bones... 1003 00:55:25,697 --> 00:55:28,491 - ...during the possession. - True. That happened to me. 1004 00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:31,577 I was first in prison, I was tryin' to give myself head, right? 1005 00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:32,829 'Cause I ain't know nobody. 1006 00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:35,122 If I woulda knew somebody, I wouldn't have had... 1007 00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:37,124 to do it to myself. And it wasn't no, no gay shit. 1008 00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:39,001 - First get that out your head. - That's enough! 1009 00:55:39,002 --> 00:55:40,837 I've had enough of your insolence! 1010 00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:42,839 My what? My insolence? 1011 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,675 Dog, you gonna bring up my condition right now? 1012 00:55:45,676 --> 00:55:48,678 You gonna bring up my diabetes, dog! 1013 00:55:48,679 --> 00:55:50,179 Talkin' 'bout my insolence. 1014 00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:53,641 'Cause I like cake? Yeah, I like cake, guys. 1015 00:55:53,642 --> 00:55:56,018 I like cake, birthday cake, all kinds of cake. 1016 00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:58,104 Now come on, cake, cake, cake! 1017 00:55:58,105 --> 00:56:01,607 Man, you know what? I'm sick o' yo' shit! 1018 00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:02,942 Get outta here! 1019 00:56:02,943 --> 00:56:06,434 Everybody break out. Get your boy wit' you. 1020 00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:09,144 Yeah. I mean really, man. 1021 00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:12,118 Wooh. Malcolm? 1022 00:56:12,119 --> 00:56:13,786 Hey, Father Williams! 1023 00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:15,872 Fuck, nigga, what'd I tell you about callin' me that? 1024 00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:18,791 - I'm sorry. Hey, Doug! - Roll down, man! 1025 00:56:18,792 --> 00:56:21,460 I'm sorry you caught that, man. 1026 00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:23,129 I'm so stressed out, man. 1027 00:56:23,130 --> 00:56:25,673 I had to shank a mo'fu. You saw that, right? 1028 00:56:25,674 --> 00:56:28,593 - I didn't see nothin'. - That's a good answer. 1029 00:56:28,594 --> 00:56:29,844 That's a good answer. 1030 00:56:29,845 --> 00:56:32,513 If you saw it, if you woulda said yes, I woulda... 1031 00:56:32,514 --> 00:56:35,474 That's all right, I don't have nothin'. 1032 00:56:35,475 --> 00:56:36,809 That's the only one I had. 1033 00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:39,145 I used to have two shanks, but I don't keep that anymore. 1034 00:56:39,146 --> 00:56:40,563 I stopped doin' two shanks... 1035 00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:42,648 'cause it just was a thang, and ever'body was like: 1036 00:56:42,649 --> 00:56:43,649 "Two shanks." 1037 00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:45,818 Yeah, so... how you doin'? 1038 00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:48,905 I... I need your help. 1039 00:56:48,906 --> 00:56:52,742 - It's happenin', Doug. - Hell no! 1040 00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:55,828 I'm not comin' over there and fuckin' with you... 1041 00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:57,496 and your creepy lil' bitch again! 1042 00:56:57,497 --> 00:56:58,831 I ain't even with that bitch no more! 1043 00:56:58,832 --> 00:57:00,583 I'm beggin' you, man, I just need your help. 1044 00:57:00,584 --> 00:57:01,792 I just don't know who else to go to. 1045 00:57:01,793 --> 00:57:03,920 Let me explain to you why I became a priest. 1046 00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:06,088 Now, obvious one is for the little boys. 1047 00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:06,923 Yes. 1048 00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:11,093 - What're you talkin' about? - It's a joke, Malcolm! 1049 00:57:11,094 --> 00:57:12,178 No, it was a joke. 1050 00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:13,012 No, it was a joke. 1051 00:57:13,013 --> 00:57:15,014 I did that, you know, put it on the priests... 1052 00:57:15,015 --> 00:57:16,599 and we laugh, that's all. 1053 00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:20,436 But I don't know if I can help you wit' your demon situation... 1054 00:57:20,437 --> 00:57:22,939 because I haven't been stayin' steady... 1055 00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:26,150 on my demon fightin' skills, is what I'm tryin' to tell you. 1056 00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:29,521 Malcolm, day after day... 1057 00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:32,657 when you know you can't win... 1058 00:57:32,658 --> 00:57:36,118 you're just prolonging the inevitable! 1059 00:57:36,119 --> 00:57:39,121 All you gotta do is let them in. 1060 00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:41,040 Are you talkin' about the Devil? 1061 00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,793 Worse. The Kardashians. 1062 00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:48,881 Yeah, it's the crazy mama, it's Kim, Khloe, Courtney crazy... 1063 00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:50,132 the two little ones... 1064 00:57:50,133 --> 00:57:52,969 they gonna be freaks. They got Lamar, they got Scott... 1065 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:53,010 Rob Fat the motherfucker, Bruce with the acne. 1066 00:57:53,011 --> 00:57:56,472 Rob Fat the motherfucker, Bruce with the acne. 1067 00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,641 What the fuck is wrong with Bruce Jenner face? 1068 00:57:58,642 --> 00:58:00,017 He look like a monster! 1069 00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:03,437 He scares me at night! And he on in daytime. 1070 00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:05,773 He don't look like the nigga that was on the Wheatie box! 1071 00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:06,649 - And Kanye! And Kanye! - And Julianne Hough! 1072 00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,776 - And Kanye! And Kanye! - And Julianne Hough! 1073 00:58:08,777 --> 00:58:10,111 I love it and I hate it. 1074 00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:12,780 They took Kanye and they changed him. 1075 00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:13,781 Doug, you know... 1076 00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:16,617 You have to let go of me, Doug. 1077 00:58:16,618 --> 00:58:19,620 - You can't... - Doug, you gotta let go of me! 1078 00:58:19,621 --> 00:58:20,246 There's no place you can hide. He has a plan for you. 1079 00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:23,624 There's no place you can hide. He has a plan for you. 1080 00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:25,668 - Doug, get offa me. - He will get you! 1081 00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:28,993 Doug, get your hands offa me! What the fuck is wrong wit' you? 1082 00:58:34,136 --> 00:58:37,221 Oh, you're the one that got us out here in the hot heat! 1083 00:58:37,222 --> 00:58:39,807 Making me bang all on the windows with my good church hat! 1084 00:58:39,808 --> 00:58:42,810 Hon, I could be at home watchin' that new Madea movie! 1085 00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:44,478 What's the name of that Madea movie... 1086 00:58:44,479 --> 00:58:46,147 with the little girl from The Fresh Prince? 1087 00:58:46,148 --> 00:58:47,481 You know the one, she played the head of NASA. 1088 00:58:47,482 --> 00:58:47,982 You know the one, she played the head of NASA. 1089 00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:49,025 With the aliens! 1090 00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:52,153 - "Madea Goes To Mars"! - "Madea Goes To Mars," that's it! 1091 00:58:52,154 --> 00:58:55,489 Hold on, ain't you that brother that just moved... 1092 00:58:55,490 --> 00:58:58,359 into old Burton place? 1093 00:58:58,493 --> 00:59:00,745 - Yeah, it's just... - With a white woman! 1094 00:59:00,746 --> 00:59:01,078 Well, she's not all the way white. 1095 00:59:01,079 --> 00:59:02,663 Well, she's not all the way white. 1096 00:59:02,664 --> 00:59:05,416 She's a white woman damn near clear! 1097 00:59:05,417 --> 00:59:07,418 Come on now, it's 2013. 1098 00:59:07,419 --> 00:59:09,837 Interracial relationships is not a big deal. 1099 00:59:09,838 --> 00:59:10,755 What? 1100 00:59:10,756 --> 00:59:13,090 You need to tell that to the lonely sista. 1101 00:59:13,091 --> 00:59:14,717 Look at this one right here. Right here! 1102 00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:14,759 Look at this one right here. Right here! 1103 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,761 Honey, show him how you drop it like it's hot! 1104 00:59:16,762 --> 00:59:19,096 Hold up, Bertha, hold up. Hold up. 1105 00:59:19,097 --> 00:59:20,765 We ain't got no defibrillator. 1106 00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:22,683 You know what it is with the white girl? 1107 00:59:22,684 --> 00:59:25,102 They do that cungalingus, the finga-ligga-linga. 1108 00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:27,063 What is it, the fellatio? 1109 00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:28,314 That's what it is, they go deep. 1110 00:59:28,315 --> 00:59:29,440 That's what it is, they go deep. 1111 00:59:29,441 --> 00:59:32,860 - You know they ain't got no insides. - I think that's my cue to go. 1112 00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,071 'Scuse me, sistas. Have a good sermon. 1113 00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:39,784 - Where you goin'? - Let it go! You're angry! 1114 00:59:39,785 --> 00:59:41,911 Brother be trippin', that's why I got me... 1115 00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:41,994 Brother be trippin', that's why I got me... 1116 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:43,454 a white man at home. 1117 00:59:43,455 --> 00:59:45,983 - Yeah, girl. - Vanilla my flavor. 1118 00:59:48,627 --> 00:59:50,920 - Hello, Malcolm. - Professor Wilde, thank God. 1119 00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:52,671 I been tryin' to reach you! 1120 00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:54,965 I'm sorry, Malcolm, I've been a bit tied up. 1121 00:59:54,966 --> 00:59:57,635 I haven't been able to find any more on Ahghoul... 1122 00:59:57,636 --> 00:59:59,804 though my resources are a bit limited. 1123 00:59:59,805 --> 01:00:02,473 Professor? Where the hell are you? 1124 01:00:02,474 --> 01:00:04,683 Doin' a stretch of five to ten. 1125 01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:07,478 Apparently the authorities frown on sellin' meth... 1126 01:00:07,479 --> 01:00:09,071 to college students. 1127 01:00:09,147 --> 01:00:10,815 Yeah, apparently. 1128 01:00:10,816 --> 01:00:13,025 You need to hang up that computer call... 1129 01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:15,945 come here and kiss me on my hot mouth. 1130 01:00:15,946 --> 01:00:18,974 I'm feelin' romantical. 1131 01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:21,700 Well, Malcolm, I suppose I should get going. 1132 01:00:21,701 --> 01:00:23,828 But I will be e-mailing you the contacts of associates... 1133 01:00:23,829 --> 01:00:24,829 who'll be able to help. 1134 01:00:24,830 --> 01:00:26,622 I don't mean to be pushy, but any way... 1135 01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:28,082 you could do that before you get raped? 1136 01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:32,169 What part of Mandingo party do you not understand? 1137 01:00:32,170 --> 01:00:35,131 It's time to power the white rabbit. 1138 01:00:35,132 --> 01:00:35,965 You know.... dirty the snow. 1139 01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:38,039 You know.... dirty the snow. 1140 01:00:38,510 --> 01:00:41,584 - I'm screwed. - It's not that bad. 1141 01:00:42,514 --> 01:00:45,463 Lights, please. Thank you. 1142 01:00:46,518 --> 01:00:49,520 So after several exhausting days of the exorcism... 1143 01:00:49,521 --> 01:00:52,857 I threw some holy water on her, read an incantation... 1144 01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:56,262 and the demon left the woman's body. 1145 01:00:56,862 --> 01:00:59,822 I suppose I just sat back and watched. 1146 01:00:59,823 --> 01:01:03,033 I mean, I'm just the medium who puts her life in danger... 1147 01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:05,828 Every time she reaches out to demonic forces. 1148 01:01:05,829 --> 01:01:08,622 But you've got a Bible and a bottle of holy water... 1149 01:01:08,623 --> 01:01:10,833 so you make the world a safer place! 1150 01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:12,710 The fact is, people, is that God is real... 1151 01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:16,035 the Devil is real, and monsters exist. 1152 01:01:16,506 --> 01:01:19,675 They're vicious, terrifying entities! 1153 01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:22,511 But the good news is, Santa Claus doesn't exist... 1154 01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:25,264 so you don't have to worry about some creepy old guy... 1155 01:01:25,265 --> 01:01:27,850 - ...coming down your chimney. - What exactly are you guys? 1156 01:01:27,851 --> 01:01:29,685 And who the fuck hired you? 1157 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:30,436 You can call us Ned and Noreen. 1158 01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:32,188 You can call us Ned and Noreen. 1159 01:01:32,189 --> 01:01:34,773 See? This is why you don't hire from Craig's List. 1160 01:01:34,774 --> 01:01:36,221 Asshole! 1161 01:01:38,528 --> 01:01:41,864 I don't understand why you always have to take the credit! 1162 01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:44,033 I mean, even your name comes first on our book cover... 1163 01:01:44,034 --> 01:01:44,742 I mean, even your name comes first on our book cover... 1164 01:01:44,743 --> 01:01:46,535 and I am the one with a gift! 1165 01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:48,037 It's not my fault that Ned comes before Noreen... 1166 01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,538 in alphabetical order! 1167 01:01:49,539 --> 01:01:51,874 Is that why Ned comes before Noreen in the bedroom? 1168 01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,959 Just once I'd like you to do that thing with your thumb... 1169 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,045 and your forefinger. I think they call it the "Shocker"? 1170 01:01:56,046 --> 01:01:57,671 Yeah, well, I would like you to do that thing... 1171 01:01:57,672 --> 01:01:58,130 Yeah, well, I would like you to do that thing... 1172 01:01:58,131 --> 01:02:00,049 with my balls and the Shocker... 1173 01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:02,134 Hi! Can we help you? 1174 01:02:02,135 --> 01:02:05,471 Yes. There's something horrible happening in my house. 1175 01:02:05,472 --> 01:02:07,640 My family doesn't realize what's going on, but I do! 1176 01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:10,142 I'm sure that there's a rational explanation... 1177 01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:11,268 Please! They're white! 1178 01:02:11,269 --> 01:02:12,144 Please! They're white! 1179 01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:13,812 Why didn't you say that? 1180 01:02:13,813 --> 01:02:15,898 Oh, my God! You should lead with that! 1181 01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:19,026 I mean, if you're black we just assume that your hauntings are... 1182 01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:21,528 bill collectors or racist police officers. 1183 01:02:21,529 --> 01:02:24,907 But 99% of all hauntings happen to white people, that's a fact. 1184 01:02:24,908 --> 01:02:25,491 But 99% of all hauntings happen to white people, that's a fact. 1185 01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:28,827 What he means to say is, of course we'll help you. 1186 01:02:28,828 --> 01:02:29,870 Thank you so much. 1187 01:02:29,871 --> 01:02:31,830 So we're here to help you people. 1188 01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:34,250 And before you get worked up, I mean "you people" as a couple. 1189 01:02:34,251 --> 01:02:36,252 It wasn't racist till you explained it. 1190 01:02:36,253 --> 01:02:36,877 Yeah. 1191 01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:38,504 The bad news is, you have a demon in your house. 1192 01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:40,005 The bad news is, you have a demon in your house. 1193 01:02:40,006 --> 01:02:41,090 Here we go again. 1194 01:02:41,091 --> 01:02:44,009 Okay, wait. So the house really is haunted? 1195 01:02:44,010 --> 01:02:47,513 Megan, it's not the house that's haunted. 1196 01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:50,849 I knew it! I knew it! It's always the little white girl. 1197 01:02:50,850 --> 01:02:52,101 Think about it. "The Exorcist", "The Last Exorcism"... 1198 01:02:52,102 --> 01:02:53,686 Think about it. "The Exorcist", "The Last Exorcism"... 1199 01:02:53,687 --> 01:02:56,021 "The Exorcism of Emily Rose", all white girls. 1200 01:02:56,022 --> 01:02:57,856 'Cause ain't no black parents gonna have no white girls... 1201 01:02:57,857 --> 01:02:59,775 talkin' like that. "Bitch, whatta you mean? 1202 01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:01,902 Who're you cursin' at? And turn the fuckin' air down in here!" 1203 01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:03,612 Malcolm, just listen for a second. 1204 01:03:03,613 --> 01:03:05,739 When we first met you, there was something... 1205 01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:06,115 When we first met you, there was something... 1206 01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:08,158 attached to you. 1207 01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:10,786 That was a hemorrhoid. That was... it's good now. 1208 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:13,205 This dark entity has attached itself to him... 1209 01:03:13,206 --> 01:03:15,582 and now it's feeding off of all of you. 1210 01:03:15,583 --> 01:03:18,460 So what you're saying is that this is all Malcolm's fault. 1211 01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:19,169 That's right. 1212 01:03:19,170 --> 01:03:19,336 Your family could've left here at any time, but now you're stuck. 1213 01:03:19,337 --> 01:03:22,798 Your family could've left here at any time, but now you're stuck. 1214 01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:25,134 Like a piece of toilet paper stuck on your shoe... 1215 01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:26,635 when you leave the bathroom. 1216 01:03:26,636 --> 01:03:28,804 Your wife knew the whole time, but she didn't tell you... 1217 01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:30,806 because she wanted you to walk around... 1218 01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:32,975 - ...and look like an idiot. - Get over it! 1219 01:03:32,976 --> 01:03:33,142 - ....and look like an idiot. - Get over it! 1220 01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:35,519 I'm not the one who had an affair with... 1221 01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:37,646 some low rent palm reader from Akron! 1222 01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:39,690 And you never would've known if you weren't a psychic! 1223 01:03:39,691 --> 01:03:42,059 But I am psychic, Ned! 1224 01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:44,486 What is that for? 1225 01:03:44,487 --> 01:03:46,572 What you're thinking about doing to Megan in two seconds: 1226 01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:46,989 What you're thinking about doing to Megan in two seconds: 1227 01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:49,893 One, two, see? 1228 01:03:52,495 --> 01:03:54,496 We came on short notice. 1229 01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:56,665 We may need an extra pair of hands. 1230 01:03:56,666 --> 01:04:00,411 - Anyone you trust to help? - I know a guy. He's Mexican. 1231 01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:04,578 Megan, let's go to your contacts. 1232 01:04:07,469 --> 01:04:08,677 Hey, nice camera. 1233 01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:11,597 I take it your third cousin owns electronics shops. 1234 01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:12,598 Somethin' like that. 1235 01:04:12,599 --> 01:04:13,807 He sells them out of the back of his truck. 1236 01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:14,141 He sells them out of the back of his truck. 1237 01:04:14,142 --> 01:04:16,477 It's a mobile operation. Let me know if you want one. 1238 01:04:16,478 --> 01:04:18,562 Hey, Ned, something weird. 1239 01:04:18,563 --> 01:04:21,815 All these clocks stop at 3:27 when the hauntings happen. 1240 01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:26,187 Normally, it's 3:07. Nope, we're on CP time. 1241 01:04:26,654 --> 01:04:27,029 The demon will manifest itself in many ways. 1242 01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:29,615 The demon will manifest itself in many ways. 1243 01:04:29,616 --> 01:04:31,700 To your son, it's his imaginary friend. 1244 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:34,036 To your daughter it's the voice inside the box. 1245 01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:36,622 For Malcolm it's that sexy little doll Abigail. 1246 01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:38,165 See? It's a manifestation! 1247 01:04:38,166 --> 01:04:40,167 You think I'd bang a doll for no reason? 1248 01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:40,626 - Malcolm! Shut up. - What we're about to do... 1249 01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:42,169 - Malcolm! Shut up. - What we're about to do... 1250 01:04:42,170 --> 01:04:45,839 is the first step in banishing the demon to the netherworld. 1251 01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:47,007 What is that? 1252 01:04:47,008 --> 01:04:49,843 This helps me communicate with the demon. 1253 01:04:49,844 --> 01:04:52,930 Organic, hydroponically grown OG Kush. 1254 01:04:52,931 --> 01:04:54,223 Very strong. 1255 01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,183 Very strong. 1256 01:04:56,184 --> 01:04:59,053 This is some good shit. 1257 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:04,191 - Pass the man the shit. - We grow it ourselves. 1258 01:05:04,192 --> 01:05:07,778 - High water bill. - That's that shit right there! 1259 01:05:07,779 --> 01:05:07,861 Let me get another hit. I'm goin' to the further. 1260 01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:10,139 Let me get another hit. I'm goin' to the further. 1261 01:05:10,448 --> 01:05:11,815 Tony! 1262 01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:14,981 Tony, where are you? 1263 01:05:17,455 --> 01:05:19,823 Smells like that OG Kush. 1264 01:05:27,132 --> 01:05:28,829 Mom! 1265 01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:32,503 Becky! 1266 01:05:34,472 --> 01:05:35,097 - Cool! - Wyatt, get upstairs! 1267 01:05:35,098 --> 01:05:36,499 - Cool! - Wyatt, get upstairs! 1268 01:05:36,516 --> 01:05:39,169 Fuck you, you bitch! 1269 01:05:40,478 --> 01:05:42,479 Why are you tying my baby to a chair? 1270 01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:44,148 Because the bitch got a demon in her! 1271 01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:45,482 Make it stop! 1272 01:05:45,483 --> 01:05:48,485 This is some scary Cucui shit right here. 1273 01:05:48,486 --> 01:05:48,694 I don't know who Cucui is. 1274 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:49,945 I don't know who Cucui is. 1275 01:05:49,946 --> 01:05:51,947 A Cucui is a ghetto Mexican bogeyman. 1276 01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:54,992 - Like George Lopez. - I know, huh? 1277 01:05:54,993 --> 01:05:57,744 I agree, it is scary as fuck. 1278 01:05:57,745 --> 01:06:00,289 This spirit is more powerful than I thought. 1279 01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:02,291 We're gonna need to get a priest to perform a real exorcism. 1280 01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:03,459 We're gonna need to get a priest to perform a real exorcism. 1281 01:06:03,460 --> 01:06:06,830 I know a guy! He's a little unconventional. 1282 01:06:08,131 --> 01:06:10,158 I don't know, Malcolm. 1283 01:06:10,467 --> 01:06:12,468 I know, that bitch don't look right. 1284 01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:15,471 Why you gotta call her a bitch? You disrespectin' he little ho. 1285 01:06:15,472 --> 01:06:15,929 Nigga, did you just sell me out? 1286 01:06:15,930 --> 01:06:16,805 Nigga, did you just sell me out? 1287 01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:18,974 There's certain words that trigger white folk. 1288 01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:21,477 I mean, bitch, ho, slut. 1289 01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:22,478 No offense. 1290 01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:24,847 You can't say those words. That's like our ni... 1291 01:06:25,482 --> 01:06:26,815 What the hell are you talking about? 1292 01:06:26,816 --> 01:06:27,483 Fuck him. 1293 01:06:27,484 --> 01:06:31,820 - We would never say that. - Only behind closed doors. 1294 01:06:31,821 --> 01:06:35,741 I mean, I wouldn't say it in a bus or at the Atlanta Airport... 1295 01:06:35,742 --> 01:06:38,869 or in a parking lot of a KFC, but, yeah, I would say it. 1296 01:06:38,870 --> 01:06:40,829 I got your back. 1297 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,915 This is a lovely scarf you're wearing. 1298 01:06:42,916 --> 01:06:44,666 It's a sash, you know what I'm sayin'? 1299 01:06:44,667 --> 01:06:47,044 I'm selling these. This a part of my new clothin' line... 1300 01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:50,005 "Jesus Pieces", and I got like the shoe that the Popee wearin'... 1301 01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:53,842 in leather, suede, in green, brown, and the Pope hats! 1302 01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:57,012 - You know what, that's enough. - Thank you so much. 1303 01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:59,097 That's right. 1304 01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:02,468 Can we help my daughter please? 1305 01:07:02,685 --> 01:07:05,062 Hell, she went really white girl on me. 1306 01:07:05,063 --> 01:07:07,105 "Oh, my God!" I was like, whoa! 1307 01:07:07,106 --> 01:07:09,942 - Speaking of white... - Are you doin' cocaine again? 1308 01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:12,345 Cocaine? No, man, this stuffs molly! 1309 01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:14,780 Can I try? 1310 01:07:14,781 --> 01:07:16,899 It's all good, it's all good. 1311 01:07:17,951 --> 01:07:19,785 I'm gonna take a little pinch for later. 1312 01:07:19,786 --> 01:07:21,453 He's just bringing his drugs? 1313 01:07:21,454 --> 01:07:23,455 - It's molly. - Wrap it up! 1314 01:07:23,456 --> 01:07:25,324 Hey, chill. Calm down, man. 1315 01:07:31,965 --> 01:07:33,966 Y'alls have some crazy ass motherfuckers. 1316 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,968 Y'all thought I was gonna shoot this bitch? 1317 01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:38,136 I'm just gonna pistol whip her until she weakens. 1318 01:07:38,137 --> 01:07:40,138 You're not pistol whipping my daughter! 1319 01:07:40,139 --> 01:07:42,140 I am not pistol whipping my daughter. 1320 01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:44,168 The man's a genius. 1321 01:07:46,563 --> 01:07:50,148 In the name of the Father and the Holy Ghost... 1322 01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:52,609 I need three other white people. 1323 01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:55,028 Peyton Manning! Kristen Stewart. 1324 01:07:55,029 --> 01:07:56,521 Paula Dean! 1325 01:07:58,491 --> 01:07:59,825 Malcolm, where's Doug? 1326 01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:02,035 I can't find his black ass in this dark! 1327 01:08:02,036 --> 01:08:03,912 - Where the hell is he? - Look for eyes! 1328 01:08:03,913 --> 01:08:05,581 Like a forest creature in a cartoon. 1329 01:08:05,582 --> 01:08:06,983 Father Doug! 1330 01:08:07,417 --> 01:08:09,418 He's over here! He's over here! 1331 01:08:09,419 --> 01:08:12,322 Doug, no! Nigga, please don't. 1332 01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:14,423 Father, please don't! 1333 01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:15,215 No, wait! 1334 01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:17,759 It's better if he points the gun at himself and not at us. 1335 01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:20,429 - Just talk to him, Malcolm. - Listen to my voice, okay, Doug? 1336 01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:23,765 This is not what niggas do! We don't do suicide! 1337 01:08:23,766 --> 01:08:25,934 Murder, yes! Suicide? 1338 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,769 That's what they do. 1339 01:08:27,770 --> 01:08:31,515 Yeah, we do that. I've tried at least 20 times. 1340 01:08:32,066 --> 01:08:34,651 Motherfucker got me acting all crazy, actin' the fool! 1341 01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:37,146 You know damn well I wouldn't peel my own cap! 1342 01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,782 I can't stop it! I can't stop it! 1343 01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:43,785 There's somethin' in my head that's tellin' me to blow off my head. 1344 01:08:43,786 --> 01:08:45,912 Is it this head? Is it this head? 1345 01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:48,081 No, no, no! Yeah, up there! 1346 01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:51,627 Evenin' break. Who wants a mojito? 1347 01:08:51,628 --> 01:08:53,795 Oh, the black guy still got a gun. 1348 01:08:53,796 --> 01:08:56,882 Oh, God! This demon is a son of a bitch, man! 1349 01:08:56,883 --> 01:08:59,468 Father, why have you abandoned me? 1350 01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:02,929 Is it 'cause I cuss a lot, even during prayer? 1351 01:09:02,930 --> 01:09:05,432 Amen, motherfucker sour dough. 1352 01:09:05,433 --> 01:09:06,600 Is it because... 1353 01:09:06,601 --> 01:09:10,604 I don't get Ryan Seacrest? I don't get him. 1354 01:09:10,605 --> 01:09:11,688 I know what it is... 1355 01:09:11,689 --> 01:09:14,107 'cause I dressed up as a foreclosure sign... 1356 01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:16,443 when people was getting kicked out they house. 1357 01:09:16,444 --> 01:09:18,445 On Halloween I just stood there. 1358 01:09:18,446 --> 01:09:20,781 I know it was wrong, but it was funny to me. 1359 01:09:20,782 --> 01:09:23,784 Out all of the people on the Brady Bunch... 1360 01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:25,786 it was Alice that I wanted to fuck. 1361 01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:29,665 In the station wagon, on top of Mr. Brady architect desk. 1362 01:09:29,666 --> 01:09:32,125 Just used it for protractors and rulers. 1363 01:09:32,126 --> 01:09:35,796 Is because I actually kinda thought that it was okay... 1364 01:09:35,797 --> 01:09:37,631 that Chris Brown hit Rihanna? 1365 01:09:37,632 --> 01:09:40,634 I know that bitch hit him first! She talk too much shit! 1366 01:09:40,635 --> 01:09:42,636 Shit, Island Girl, whatcha doin' to Chris? 1367 01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,638 Why you goin' hoodies bitchin' on my Chris? 1368 01:09:44,639 --> 01:09:46,014 Shut the fuck up, bitch! 1369 01:09:46,015 --> 01:09:48,809 - Somebody help me. - Doug! Fight it, Doug! 1370 01:09:48,810 --> 01:09:52,688 No! Nigga, that's a bigass gun! That's gonna hurt, nigga. 1371 01:09:52,689 --> 01:09:55,512 Malcolm, he has a message for you. 1372 01:09:56,484 --> 01:09:59,558 He says... "Huh, bitch?" 1373 01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:07,202 We're gonna need another priest! 1374 01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,663 It's too late. I have to perform the exorcism. 1375 01:10:09,664 --> 01:10:10,664 It's true. 1376 01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:12,916 Although Ned's only formal training was a "Ghostbusters"... 1377 01:10:12,917 --> 01:10:14,710 summer camp back in 1988. 1378 01:10:14,711 --> 01:10:16,837 Never cross a stream. Never cross them. 1379 01:10:16,838 --> 01:10:19,840 And he is dumb! I mean, dumb, dumb, dumb! 1380 01:10:19,841 --> 01:10:22,175 The point is, you can do this! 1381 01:10:22,176 --> 01:10:24,553 Do you remember what you said to me on our wedding night? 1382 01:10:24,554 --> 01:10:27,013 "I have whiskey dick and I'll make it up to you in the morning." 1383 01:10:27,014 --> 01:10:30,225 No! You said God brought us together for a reason. 1384 01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:32,060 Doesn't sound like me. 1385 01:10:32,061 --> 01:10:36,011 - Must've been really drunk. - Just fucking do it, dummy! 1386 01:10:48,035 --> 01:10:49,870 - Becky! - Did it work? 1387 01:10:49,871 --> 01:10:53,992 - I'm sorry for everything! - I think you did it! 1388 01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:05,969 - Oh, fuck that! - Oh, my God! 1389 01:11:05,970 --> 01:11:09,169 Time to die! 1390 01:11:10,641 --> 01:11:12,976 - It was him! It was him! - Don't be like that! 1391 01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:14,549 It actually was him. 1392 01:11:15,146 --> 01:11:18,550 - Got him in the knee. - That looked like it hurt, jeez. 1393 01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:26,615 - That's what you call a blowjob. - A leaf blower? 1394 01:11:26,616 --> 01:11:28,158 - Don't judge me. - Malcolm! 1395 01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:32,154 Demon, you leave our daughter alone! 1396 01:11:33,206 --> 01:11:35,499 That's not your daughter anymore! 1397 01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:37,667 I didn't mean like a daughter daughter... 1398 01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:39,570 Seriously? Malcolm, help her! 1399 01:11:39,837 --> 01:11:42,990 - Okay. Goddamnit! - Go get 'em, buddy. 1400 01:11:43,883 --> 01:11:46,968 - Wyatt, are you okay? - Yeah, but Becky... 1401 01:11:46,969 --> 01:11:49,542 she looks pretty fucked up. 1402 01:11:50,723 --> 01:11:52,766 Demon, I'll make you a deal. 1403 01:11:52,767 --> 01:11:54,684 How about, you leave, and we'll pretend... 1404 01:11:54,685 --> 01:11:57,020 - ...none of this ever happened. - The bitch is mine! 1405 01:11:57,021 --> 01:11:59,231 You heard the man, the bitch is his. I tried. 1406 01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:00,232 Seriously? 1407 01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:02,484 She said the bitch is his. That's pretty emphatic. 1408 01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:05,513 Malcolm, please help me. I'm so sorry. 1409 01:12:06,489 --> 01:12:10,158 Becky will rot in hell! 1410 01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:11,493 Okay, which one is it? 1411 01:12:11,494 --> 01:12:13,495 Rot in hell or you want me to help you? 1412 01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:16,194 - Malcolm, help her! - The bitch is confusing me! 1413 01:12:16,499 --> 01:12:18,500 Demon, you leave her alone! 1414 01:12:18,501 --> 01:12:20,836 You take me instead! 1415 01:12:20,837 --> 01:12:22,170 Deal. 1416 01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:25,040 Wait, no, no, no. Here, take him instead! 1417 01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:31,513 I haven't heard a demon scream for a while. 1418 01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:33,014 I think it's safe to go back up there. 1419 01:12:33,015 --> 01:12:35,851 - I still have a bad feeling. - For God's sake, come on, guys! 1420 01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:38,095 - Come on! - All right. 1421 01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:43,650 Oh, my God! Wyatt, get upstairs right now! 1422 01:12:43,651 --> 01:12:45,861 They're cuddling! The demon's gone! 1423 01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:48,697 I did it! This house is clean! 1424 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,031 Look at his eyes! 1425 01:12:50,032 --> 01:12:52,200 They're rolling to the back of his head! 1426 01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:53,702 I think he's possessed. 1427 01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:55,704 That's the face he makes when he has an orgasm. 1428 01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:58,623 - I think he's okay, you guys. - This is not over. 1429 01:12:58,624 --> 01:13:02,127 - Are you guys watching this? - Yes, we're watching it, dummy! 1430 01:13:02,128 --> 01:13:04,671 I'm so intrigued by this. 1431 01:13:04,672 --> 01:13:08,758 Oh, man! He's all twisted up like a chocolate pretzel! 1432 01:13:08,759 --> 01:13:13,805 Such flexibility and dexterity! This is making me queasy! 1433 01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:17,726 - He could suck his own dick. - Somebody please help me! 1434 01:13:17,727 --> 01:13:18,894 If I could do that... 1435 01:13:18,895 --> 01:13:21,187 I don't think I'd ever talk to you again. 1436 01:13:21,188 --> 01:13:23,511 Stop it, you unholy demon! 1437 01:13:24,650 --> 01:13:27,269 - That is greasy shit! - Probably Murray's. 1438 01:13:28,070 --> 01:13:30,438 The power of Christ compels you! 1439 01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:33,825 It burn like bum piss! That means it's working! 1440 01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:36,161 Pour the whole thing, like I just won the Super Bowl! 1441 01:13:36,162 --> 01:13:38,189 - Go! - Are you crazy? 1442 01:13:41,834 --> 01:13:44,532 Is that all you got, bitch? 1443 01:14:00,269 --> 01:14:02,687 Wait, guys! Stop! Everybody stop! 1444 01:14:02,688 --> 01:14:06,608 - Malcolm, are you okay? - No, I think I'm gonna be sick. 1445 01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:07,805 What? 1446 01:14:08,069 --> 01:14:10,111 Oh, God. Oh, God. 1447 01:14:10,112 --> 01:14:12,514 Oh, my God, I can't... 1448 01:14:16,452 --> 01:14:20,455 - Puking like a runway model. - I'm good. I'm good. 1449 01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:22,958 You're gonna want to Febreeze all of this. 1450 01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,960 You're gonna wanna just clean this. 1451 01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:27,489 I feel so much better now. 1452 01:14:32,468 --> 01:14:35,212 Can't be too sure. Oh, shit. 1453 01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:37,555 I gotta get the hell outta here. 1454 01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:39,182 Once they see a black guy in a pool of blood... 1455 01:14:39,183 --> 01:14:41,142 you know who they're gonna come after next.. 1456 01:14:41,143 --> 01:14:42,840 I gotta go. 1457 01:14:43,145 --> 01:14:47,148 - Now this place is clean. - It sounded better when I said it. 1458 01:14:47,149 --> 01:14:48,775 Get the box. 1459 01:14:48,776 --> 01:14:51,528 - Thank you, guys, so much. - No need to thank us. 1460 01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:53,196 We're happy to help. Come on, Ned. 1461 01:14:53,197 --> 01:14:55,240 And we'll just take Abigail with us... 1462 01:14:55,241 --> 01:14:56,825 as well, for safekeeping. 1463 01:14:56,826 --> 01:14:58,827 Yeah, I know what you plannin' on doing with that doll. 1464 01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:01,162 - No, I'm a professional. - She's a freak bitch. 1465 01:15:01,163 --> 01:15:01,830 Stop it. 1466 01:15:01,831 --> 01:15:04,541 How come Noreen ain't pickin' up on the vibes? 1467 01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:06,626 You know how when you try to last longer... 1468 01:15:06,627 --> 01:15:08,086 you think about baseball? 1469 01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:10,213 It's kind of like that. Throws a haze in their head. 1470 01:15:10,214 --> 01:15:12,966 It's the only way to survive when you're married to a psychic. 1471 01:15:12,967 --> 01:15:13,842 Come on, Ned. 1472 01:15:13,843 --> 01:15:16,871 I know you're thinking about fucking that doll. 1473 01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:25,171 - You're had enough. - Bye, doll. 1474 01:15:29,483 --> 01:15:33,486 It's so nice being able to just relax on the couch... 1475 01:15:33,487 --> 01:15:35,855 and watch "The Bachelorettes". 1476 01:15:40,119 --> 01:15:43,022 - You didn't hear that? - What? 1477 01:15:43,122 --> 01:15:45,707 My nigga senses is tinglin'. 1478 01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:47,500 It's like my Spidey senses. 1479 01:15:47,501 --> 01:15:50,670 Would you hush? It is fine! 1480 01:15:50,671 --> 01:15:53,369 My white senses say we're fine. 1481 01:15:53,674 --> 01:15:56,176 Everything's okay. It's over. 1482 01:15:56,177 --> 01:16:00,207 - Okay? It's over. - Okay, okay. I'm trippin'. 1483 01:16:02,433 --> 01:16:04,801 Listen to that, whiteness! 1484 01:16:12,443 --> 01:16:14,778 You already know how it's going down, motherfuckers... 1485 01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:15,570 all right? 1486 01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:17,572 I looked in my Dora the Explorer app... 1487 01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,574 this the motherfuckin' correct address. 1488 01:16:19,575 --> 01:16:22,577 This ain't a drive-by, homie, okay? This a walk-in, homie. 1489 01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,913 So ain't no escapin'! My cousin is in here, Cuz! 1490 01:16:24,914 --> 01:16:26,315 Y'all ready? 1491 01:16:27,625 --> 01:16:29,542 Hey, yo, Malcolm! 1492 01:16:29,543 --> 01:16:32,162 Whassup my niggie? I'm here, Cuz! 1493 01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:36,800 What the fuck are you doin', man? I gotta... 1494 01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,999 This is bullshit! Oh, my God! 1495 01:16:39,637 --> 01:16:41,835 I'm scared as fuck! 1496 01:16:45,142 --> 01:16:46,267 I'm good, dog. 1497 01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:49,171 Let me get my motherfuckin' bearings together, homie. 1498 01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:53,608 All right, let's go up in there, Cuz. 1499 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:55,151 It smell like dead ass... 1500 01:16:55,152 --> 01:16:57,654 Baloney and sweat socks up in there, homie. 1501 01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:00,156 It smell like Honey Boo Boo's boo-boo, homie! 1502 01:17:00,157 --> 01:17:01,783 Malcolm? 1503 01:17:01,784 --> 01:17:03,982 Where you at, Cuz? 1504 01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:09,624 Ain't nobody in here, Cuz. 1505 01:17:09,625 --> 01:17:12,627 Oh, shit! Megan got fucked up! 1506 01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:15,547 Head twisted all backwards, niggie. 1507 01:17:15,548 --> 01:17:18,466 Now, upon further examination, my niggie... 1508 01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,635 this white bitch smell like she been dead... 1509 01:17:20,636 --> 01:17:21,928 about a week, maybe two. 1510 01:17:21,929 --> 01:17:23,930 I watch "Dexter", niggie, "CSI New York"... 1511 01:17:23,931 --> 01:17:25,473 "Love 'N Hip-Hop Atlanta". 1512 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,809 Don't nobody get killed on there, but they need to, my nigga. 1513 01:17:27,810 --> 01:17:29,644 Stevie J, you know what I'm sayin'? 1514 01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:32,013 This bitch smell like poverty, Cuz! 1515 01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:35,191 Tae kwon do! Oh, shit! 1516 01:17:35,192 --> 01:17:38,186 They done killed the little mini white bitch, too, Cuz! 1517 01:17:39,488 --> 01:17:43,267 Fuck happened down here, Cuz? 1518 01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:45,561 Hello? 1519 01:17:47,163 --> 01:17:48,204 Hello? 1520 01:17:48,205 --> 01:17:51,166 Oh, shit! There's another dead body, Cuz. 1521 01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:55,086 Who the fuck is it, though? Who the fuck is it? 1522 01:17:55,087 --> 01:17:57,589 Oh, God, it's Malcolm! 1523 01:17:57,590 --> 01:18:00,508 They done kill my Cuz, Cuz! 1524 01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:03,428 It's like Boyz 'N the Hood, he's supposed to go to college! 1525 01:18:03,429 --> 01:18:06,181 Why the fuck they let Dough Boy live and Ricky dead? 1526 01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:09,131 Dough Boy was the evil nigga, Cuz! 1527 01:18:09,602 --> 01:18:11,811 I can't believe it! 1528 01:18:11,812 --> 01:18:14,465 See if the nigga got some money, though. 1529 01:18:20,446 --> 01:18:22,572 What you hit me for, Cuz? 1530 01:18:22,573 --> 01:18:25,116 You know better than to be poppin' up on me like that, Cuz! 1531 01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:27,785 You get knocked out every motherfuckin' time, homie. 1532 01:18:27,786 --> 01:18:30,484 World star! World star! 1533 01:18:30,789 --> 01:18:32,207 You hit me with a brick! 1534 01:18:32,208 --> 01:18:34,209 Where's my family? Are they okay? 1535 01:18:34,210 --> 01:18:35,793 Nigga, they dead as butt! 1536 01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:37,462 All of them? Even the little boy? 1537 01:18:37,463 --> 01:18:39,714 He's on the back of a motherfuckin' milk carton, niggie! 1538 01:18:39,715 --> 01:18:41,412 Good. He may have lived. 1539 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:43,218 Where's Kisha? 1540 01:18:43,219 --> 01:18:46,168 Nigga, I don't know where the fuck Kisha is at, Cuz! 1541 01:18:46,805 --> 01:18:49,057 - She did this shit! - Kisha did this shit? 1542 01:18:49,058 --> 01:18:50,975 The white girl's neck, snapped it back. 1543 01:18:50,976 --> 01:18:53,728 - Kisha did that shit? - That bitch is gangsta, Cuz! 1544 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,813 I need to jump on her and mount her, Cuz! 1545 01:18:55,814 --> 01:18:57,982 I came down to the basement on some creep shit... 1546 01:18:57,983 --> 01:18:59,901 I was just sittin' here waitin' for this bitch like: 1547 01:18:59,902 --> 01:19:02,070 "Nigga, what?" "Bitch, you want some of this? 1548 01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:04,113 "So I'm gonna stay here incog-negro... 1549 01:19:04,114 --> 01:19:06,074 up under this blanket like nigga, like what. 1550 01:19:06,075 --> 01:19:08,076 Let my sneakers be all, so she be like... 1551 01:19:08,077 --> 01:19:09,535 "That nigga be dead." 1552 01:19:09,536 --> 01:19:12,163 Then all like, "Bitch, you want some of this?" 1553 01:19:12,164 --> 01:19:14,707 You can't kill me! I'm like a roach! 1554 01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:16,584 I don't die, I multiply! 1555 01:19:16,585 --> 01:19:20,205 I got God on my side, bitch! 1556 01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:24,550 Twinkle, twinkle little star... 1557 01:19:24,551 --> 01:19:26,886 She's right behind me, isn't she? 1558 01:19:26,887 --> 01:19:29,961 How I wonder...