1 00:00:05,155 --> 00:00:10,994 ♪Eng subtitles, Asif Akheir Translations♪ XQ2☻♥ 2 00:02:55,103 --> 00:02:57,328 Boys, boys! 3 00:02:57,478 --> 00:03:02,480 Rabbi Jacob is leaving. C'mon, lets go and say goodbye. 4 00:03:24,918 --> 00:03:26,826 Shalom, my friends. 5 00:03:31,114 --> 00:03:35,247 - Have a safe trip. - May you live in peace 6 00:03:35,627 --> 00:03:37,858 - Have a "bon voyage" 7 00:03:38,224 --> 00:03:42,894 Reb Samuel, please, 30 years since he was in in Paris, France. 8 00:03:42,986 --> 00:03:47,113 Please keep an eye out on 'mein' husband. - Of course. 9 00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:52,061 'Rebbe', what I got for you they never heard in Paris, France. 10 00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,294 One of my cheesecakes. 11 00:03:55,665 --> 00:03:59,444 Give it to David for a bar mitzvah present. 12 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,030 Absolutely, absolutely! 13 00:04:07,857 --> 00:04:11,520 Hey mac, I don't have all day. 14 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,512 - Let's go, huh? - Yes my boy. Yes. 15 00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:17,941 Come with me to the airport, all of you. 16 00:04:29,818 --> 00:04:32,939 Hey, this is a taxi, not a synagogue. 17 00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:34,446 Ok, move over. 18 00:04:34,502 --> 00:04:38,697 Jacob, don't forget to give a big kiss to our nephew Solomon. 19 00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:41,748 And also Esther and Tzippe and Moishe. 20 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,477 I give, I give. All the Schmoll family. 21 00:04:44,547 --> 00:04:46,688 Jacob, you know what I want ? 22 00:04:46,766 --> 00:04:50,176 I want more 'Je Reviens' perfume. 23 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:51,504 Bye, bye. 24 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:55,750 Ok, 'Je Reviens'. Je Reviens! 25 00:05:02,879 --> 00:05:05,869 ♪ I will see my Normandy. 26 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,324 ♪ dai dai dai 27 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:14,216 No Samuel, not "dai dai dai". It's French... France! 28 00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,829 ♪ I will see my Normandy. 29 00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:21,481 ♪ The land that gave life to me 30 00:05:31,906 --> 00:05:35,453 What's going on? Will you hurry, please, driver. 31 00:05:35,531 --> 00:05:38,244 Hey, what do you want, miracles? 32 00:05:40,305 --> 00:05:43,972 Don't worry, Rabbi, we’ll catch your plane. C'mon! 33 00:05:48,158 --> 00:05:50,455 Ready? One, two, three! 34 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,029 You see my boy? That's a miracle. 35 00:07:18,306 --> 00:07:22,353 - Monsieur, may I take the wheel? - You're a pain in the neck! 36 00:07:24,797 --> 00:07:26,799 Monsieur, watch out! 37 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,781 What the hell's he doing in the emergency lane? 38 00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:35,963 See that, an Englishman! 39 00:07:36,471 --> 00:07:39,554 I don't like the English. Do you? 40 00:07:39,605 --> 00:07:41,991 - Yeah. - I don't. 41 00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:46,536 - Look, Solomon! - What? - See, a Swiss and a German. 42 00:07:46,607 --> 00:07:48,927 - So? - Swiss and German. 43 00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:51,598 This isn't France anymore! 44 00:07:55,772 --> 00:07:58,099 Now we're behind a Belgian! 45 00:07:58,146 --> 00:08:01,260 - Belgians! - Why, don't you like Belgians, either? 46 00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:06,075 They pollute us, those Belgians! Look at his exhaust. Belgian ehaust! 47 00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:09,927 Hold on, I'll pass him. I'll 'tres-pass' him. 48 00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:29,527 Woah, woah! 49 00:08:31,684 --> 00:08:34,068 Look at that, Solomon. Look! 50 00:08:34,115 --> 00:08:35,817 Yeah. What? 51 00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:39,966 It's clean, quiet no smoke. He's a Frenchman! 52 00:08:39,998 --> 00:08:41,365 Monsieur. 53 00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:44,178 Can't you line up like everyone else? 54 00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:47,122 Moron, cretin, cuckhold...meathead! 55 00:08:47,196 --> 00:08:49,535 Hear that? Now THAT'S French! 56 00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:52,104 In the emergency lane, too! 57 00:08:53,604 --> 00:08:58,257 - You got no shame! - Woof... woof! Grr! 58 00:09:01,261 --> 00:09:03,638 Hey, are you finished?! 59 00:09:05,636 --> 00:09:08,979 - What is it? - You can see, a wedding! 60 00:09:09,189 --> 00:09:13,337 I'm also marrying off my daughter. Come on let me pass. 61 00:09:28,487 --> 00:09:32,349 - Did you see the bride? - Yes. - She's black. 62 00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:38,665 Not cafe-au-lait, but black! And he's white! 63 00:09:38,927 --> 00:09:40,340 So? 64 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,130 He's white, she's black... 65 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,875 Black. Oh, pfft! 66 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:07,474 Hey, Solomon, c'mon! 67 00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:09,647 Yes sir, coming. 68 00:10:09,828 --> 00:10:13,249 Let me pass, my daughter's getting married. 69 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:16,737 Ah, that's your daughter? Congratulations. 70 00:10:16,855 --> 00:10:20,607 No, she's not my daughter. The bride's black! 71 00:10:21,082 --> 00:10:23,043 Monsieur, Monsieur! 72 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,093 See that, Solomon? They have cars, now. 73 00:11:04,161 --> 00:11:06,240 Blacks in white Rolls! 74 00:11:06,302 --> 00:11:09,003 It couldn't happen to you, Sir. - What? 75 00:11:09,028 --> 00:11:11,482 Your daughter marrying a black man. 76 00:11:11,524 --> 00:11:15,646 - Waddaya mean by that? - Monsieur is rather racist. - Racist? 77 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,810 Moi?! Racist? Solomon! Racist?! 78 00:11:19,987 --> 00:11:23,237 Thank God Antoinette is marrying a Frenchman 79 00:11:23,271 --> 00:11:26,716 A thoroughly white one. Even a bit pale. Huh? 80 00:11:26,950 --> 00:11:29,911 - And pimply. - How about that lisp? 81 00:11:29,974 --> 00:11:33,925 He lisps, but he's rich, like me. And Catholic, like everyone. 82 00:11:33,991 --> 00:11:38,232 Not everyone, Monsieur. Me, for example, I'm Jewish. 83 00:11:41,711 --> 00:11:43,536 You're Jewish? 84 00:11:43,927 --> 00:11:46,714 How's that? Solomon is Jewish? 85 00:11:47,345 --> 00:11:49,377 Solomon is Jewish, oh! 86 00:11:49,526 --> 00:11:53,199 And my uncle Jacob, coming from New York, is a rabbi. 87 00:11:53,609 --> 00:11:56,070 - But he's not Jewish? - Oh, yes. 88 00:11:57,077 --> 00:11:59,914 - Not your whole family? - Oh, yes. 89 00:12:02,886 --> 00:12:05,855 Doesn't matter, I'll keep you on anyway. 90 00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:10,847 - That'll be Madame. - We're late. 91 00:12:10,872 --> 00:12:14,396 - Monsieur's gonna get it! - OK, enough of that! 92 00:12:15,497 --> 00:12:18,747 - Hello, Victor? - Hello, Germaine... 93 00:12:19,079 --> 00:12:22,130 Let me explain!...Bla bla 94 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,983 Bla, bla... 95 00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:27,708 Quiet, Victor! You're a liar, a hypocrite, and a fake. 96 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:31,587 You, be quiet too! If you wanna marry my daughter tomorrow 97 00:12:31,612 --> 00:12:34,570 I must finish you today. - What? - Your crowns. 98 00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:37,405 How do I know for sure... 99 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,637 Shh! How do I know you were alone in Deauville? 100 00:12:40,692 --> 00:12:42,153 She's madly jealous! 101 00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,702 With good reason. Monsieur, is such a hunk. 102 00:12:44,727 --> 00:12:45,613 Hello, Victor? 103 00:12:45,638 --> 00:12:48,016 I forbid you to hang up. 104 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,914 Fine, wait. Wait now. Wait 105 00:12:56,379 --> 00:12:58,965 Damn! Watch the road! 106 00:13:00,591 --> 00:13:02,513 - Tell me, Germaine. - Yes? 107 00:13:02,596 --> 00:13:04,781 - Did you know? - Know what? 108 00:13:04,820 --> 00:13:07,140 - Solomon... - What about Solomon? 109 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,945 - is Jewish. - So? 110 00:13:09,004 --> 00:13:10,699 The truck, the truck! 111 00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:31,976 Solomon? Solomon! 112 00:13:32,429 --> 00:13:34,014 Hey, Solomon! 113 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,917 There he is. 114 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,094 Garcon? 115 00:14:20,645 --> 00:14:23,147 A peppermint cordial. 116 00:14:31,786 --> 00:14:33,779 M. Slimane. 117 00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:37,801 Telephone for M. Slimane. 118 00:14:38,475 --> 00:14:40,269 That's me. 119 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,205 Booth 2, Monsieur. 120 00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:04,091 Hello? 121 00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:06,958 - Mohammed Larbi Slimane? - That's me. 122 00:15:06,996 --> 00:15:08,764 Nobody's meeting you. 123 00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:11,903 - You fell into our trap, Slimane. - Who is this? 124 00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:15,005 - Fares is waiting in front of 'Les Deux Magots'. - Fares? 125 00:15:15,029 --> 00:15:17,950 You're not getting out of here alive. 126 00:15:18,069 --> 00:15:21,122 And your revolution ... *arkoum! 127 00:15:22,099 --> 00:15:23,450 Hello? 128 00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,067 Hello! 129 00:15:31,538 --> 00:15:33,619 In 30 seconds he'll come out. 130 00:15:33,679 --> 00:15:36,768 He'll see me, and try to run out the back. 131 00:15:36,822 --> 00:15:40,159 Colonel we can't snatch him in Saint Germain de Pres! 132 00:15:40,184 --> 00:15:42,802 - We had him earlier! - Shut up! 133 00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:46,543 Hurry, go wait on the other side. 134 00:16:01,649 --> 00:16:03,181 Fares. 135 00:16:57,618 --> 00:16:59,163 Hurry! 136 00:16:59,287 --> 00:17:00,915 Drive. 137 00:17:16,211 --> 00:17:17,505 Hello? 138 00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:20,570 Hello? Hello! 139 00:17:20,659 --> 00:17:23,047 Mademoiselle, don't hang up 140 00:17:24,058 --> 00:17:25,410 Hello! 141 00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:27,307 Move, you! 142 00:17:27,388 --> 00:17:30,779 Arrange to send a tow truck immediately. 143 00:17:30,945 --> 00:17:33,834 A tug boat, more likely. 144 00:17:34,348 --> 00:17:35,575 Help me! 145 00:17:35,624 --> 00:17:38,544 Pull! Don't make such a fuss. 146 00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:40,865 Hello, hello! What? 147 00:17:41,168 --> 00:17:43,864 A strike? That's all I need! 148 00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:47,510 - My factory' on strike. - Me too. I'm on strike. 149 00:17:47,603 --> 00:17:49,653 I'm fed up, I've had it! 150 00:17:49,845 --> 00:17:52,221 What did you say? What? What? 151 00:17:52,336 --> 00:17:54,736 - Fed up! - Take that! 152 00:17:55,052 --> 00:17:58,911 Hello, I forbid them to strike, you hear? 153 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,768 No! I'm telling you, no. 154 00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:04,646 Listen, just do as usual. 155 00:18:04,732 --> 00:18:08,154 You promise everything, and I give nothing. 156 00:18:08,223 --> 00:18:10,357 Solomon, a car! 157 00:18:10,474 --> 00:18:11,865 Aah! 158 00:18:12,912 --> 00:18:14,834 Hey! Hey! 159 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:21,330 Hey, hey! Stop, stop. 160 00:18:27,558 --> 00:18:30,525 Punks, egoists, dirty bastards! 161 00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:34,505 Straight, then first on the left. 162 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,099 The factory's at the end of the lane. 163 00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:41,966 Night is falling. We must absolutely find a tow truck. 164 00:18:42,276 --> 00:18:43,911 - Solomon. - Yes sir. 165 00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:47,529 Turn on the lights so they can find us easier. 166 00:18:47,619 --> 00:18:49,544 - No, Sir. - What? 167 00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:52,562 I'm not allowed to put the lights on. 168 00:18:52,668 --> 00:18:56,623 Sir knows, I can't work on Saturday. - But, it's Friday. 169 00:18:56,648 --> 00:18:59,615 For us Sabbath starts Friday at sundown. 170 00:18:59,685 --> 00:19:02,345 And on Sabbath I can't work. 171 00:19:06,587 --> 00:19:10,007 Let’s go, my beloved, *♪ Lechah dodi, 172 00:19:10,091 --> 00:19:13,855 Let’s go, to meet the bride, ♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah 173 00:19:13,925 --> 00:19:18,105 let's welcome the presence of Shabbat ♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah 174 00:19:18,159 --> 00:19:22,043 ♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah 175 00:19:22,251 --> 00:19:25,407 ♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah* 176 00:19:25,738 --> 00:19:29,656 Say, Solomon, can't you make an exception tonight? 177 00:19:29,742 --> 00:19:32,537 I'll give you two Sabbaths off next week. 178 00:19:32,592 --> 00:19:35,239 Evidently, Sir doesn't know the tradition. 179 00:19:35,264 --> 00:19:39,599 I don't know any of your pantomimes and I'm proud of it! 180 00:19:41,296 --> 00:19:43,742 Sir isn't allowed to eat meat on Friday. 181 00:19:43,806 --> 00:19:47,443 I'm not allowed to use electricity Saturday. It's no dumber. 182 00:19:47,491 --> 00:19:50,406 - Yes it's dumber! - No it's not dumber! 183 00:19:52,345 --> 00:19:54,710 - Yes it's dumber. - No it's not dumber! 184 00:19:54,766 --> 00:19:57,473 I tell you it is, and give a week's notice! 185 00:19:57,519 --> 00:20:01,884 -Have your Sabbath every night! - Fine, as Monsieur wishes! 186 00:20:03,742 --> 00:20:05,388 Get out! 187 00:20:11,139 --> 00:20:13,553 Gdd... dmmn... yyyou! 188 00:20:47,068 --> 00:20:50,078 St Anthony of Padua, let me find a tow truck 189 00:20:50,134 --> 00:20:53,661 so I can fix my boat, my car, and hire a new chauffeur. 190 00:20:53,709 --> 00:20:56,269 A Catholic one, this time, I promise. 191 00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:59,440 Catholic like you, like me, like God. 192 00:21:00,633 --> 00:21:02,441 Oh, a light! 193 00:21:02,725 --> 00:21:04,784 Thank you, St Anthony. 194 00:21:22,369 --> 00:21:24,330 Anybody home? 195 00:21:26,776 --> 00:21:28,862 Concierge? 196 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,242 Woah! 197 00:21:39,024 --> 00:21:40,716 Madame? 198 00:21:41,590 --> 00:21:43,340 Madame! 199 00:21:46,531 --> 00:21:48,171 Anybody home? 200 00:21:48,196 --> 00:21:49,461 (Ohhh!) 201 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,749 Oh yeah, there's someone! 202 00:22:02,215 --> 00:22:04,512 - (Ohhhh!) - Aah! 203 00:22:07,123 --> 00:22:09,451 Aaahhh!!... 204 00:23:08,363 --> 00:23:11,092 You'll end up talking, Slimane. 205 00:23:13,474 --> 00:23:15,763 What day? ... The coup d'etat. 206 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,297 Which city? What time? Which regiment? 207 00:23:22,013 --> 00:23:24,348 The password, Slimane. 208 00:23:24,853 --> 00:23:27,075 You can murder me, Fares, 209 00:23:27,298 --> 00:23:30,562 but you can't pass yourself off as a judge. 210 00:23:46,810 --> 00:23:49,305 Ma t'Rhafeh! Slimane!* 211 00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:52,786 Halmatek! Smhat fik!* 212 00:23:52,811 --> 00:23:54,706 The people are with me. 213 00:23:54,792 --> 00:23:57,945 Yes, but power is at the end of a gun. 214 00:23:58,011 --> 00:23:59,910 Mao Tse Tung! 215 00:24:05,003 --> 00:24:07,422 Mohammed Larbi Slimane, 216 00:24:08,256 --> 00:24:12,364 as a president of this counter-revolutionary tribunal, 217 00:24:13,490 --> 00:24:17,286 I find you guilty of treason. against our government 218 00:24:17,344 --> 00:24:20,311 - An toum houm el khawana! - Habess!* 219 00:24:20,444 --> 00:24:24,158 - An toum houm el khawana! - Oun ta put.* 220 00:24:24,310 --> 00:24:26,173 What's this mumbo-jumbo? 221 00:24:26,228 --> 00:24:27,980 Khawana! 222 00:24:31,232 --> 00:24:33,808 Gentlemen, your verdict. 223 00:24:38,294 --> 00:24:39,924 Death! 224 00:24:41,599 --> 00:24:45,184 Talk, Slimane, and your life will be spared. 225 00:24:45,264 --> 00:24:49,990 A revolution is like a bicycle. If it doesn't move forward, it falls. 226 00:24:50,181 --> 00:24:52,347 Eddy Merckx. (Belgian cyclist) 227 00:24:52,372 --> 00:24:54,637 No, Che Guevara. 228 00:25:25,152 --> 00:25:26,590 Oh! 229 00:25:29,601 --> 00:25:31,671 Sh, sh... 230 00:25:33,245 --> 00:25:34,612 Sh. 231 00:25:54,038 --> 00:25:56,288 The police ... 17 ? 232 00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:16,869 Now then, the police is 22... 233 00:26:16,982 --> 00:26:18,497 17 234 00:26:30,412 --> 00:26:31,832 Aziz. 235 00:26:34,887 --> 00:26:37,318 - Hello? - Hello, police? 236 00:26:37,355 --> 00:26:38,723 Yes. 237 00:26:38,794 --> 00:26:43,096 - G-Get me the commissioner. Hurry. - This is the commissioner. 238 00:26:43,167 --> 00:26:47,354 Come immediately to the Yankee chewing-gum factory. 239 00:26:47,432 --> 00:26:50,365 - Chewing-gum? - Yes, chewing-gum... 240 00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:53,946 And, who are you, sir? 241 00:26:53,977 --> 00:26:56,416 Victor Pivert. Manufacturer in Paris 242 00:26:56,458 --> 00:26:59,884 - Pivert? - Pivert. Like the green woodpecker. 243 00:27:06,223 --> 00:27:10,263 - I'm listening. - I had a car accident. 244 00:27:10,411 --> 00:27:11,990 I was looking for help 245 00:27:12,036 --> 00:27:15,695 when I ran into a gang of Wogs trying to kill each other. 246 00:27:15,788 --> 00:27:18,391 Wogs, you know, with brown faces. 247 00:27:18,802 --> 00:27:21,169 Where are you now? 248 00:27:21,231 --> 00:27:24,269 Here, in the factory office. Voila. 249 00:27:25,380 --> 00:27:29,286 Do not move. We're on our way. 250 00:27:29,512 --> 00:27:32,348 V-v-very nice of you. 251 00:27:34,904 --> 00:27:36,349 Hurry! 252 00:27:39,517 --> 00:27:43,200 Tell me M. Pivert; the Wogs, did you see them? 253 00:27:43,255 --> 00:27:47,611 I sure I did! Especially a fat oily one with his curly hair, 254 00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:51,317 and his tiny cruel eyes and black sun glasses. 255 00:27:52,579 --> 00:27:54,443 A real killer's face! 256 00:27:54,521 --> 00:27:56,825 Let them settle their scores. 257 00:27:56,872 --> 00:28:00,567 Fine! There'll be fewer of them. But not in our land. 258 00:28:00,622 --> 00:28:03,682 - Where are they? - Right here! 259 00:28:22,249 --> 00:28:24,234 Smash the door ! *Kasser elbab!* 260 00:28:26,732 --> 00:28:28,490 Aaahh! 261 00:28:32,391 --> 00:28:33,902 I got him! 262 00:29:25,342 --> 00:29:27,053 Hey, hey! 263 00:29:27,506 --> 00:29:28,936 Hurry! 264 00:30:23,185 --> 00:30:25,271 Aaahh! 265 00:30:45,395 --> 00:30:46,825 Allez! 266 00:31:41,103 --> 00:31:42,353 He escaped! 267 00:31:42,385 --> 00:31:45,314 Couldn't help it, Colonel. *Ou ana helech* 268 00:31:46,629 --> 00:31:48,272 Pivert, Victor Pivert. 269 00:31:48,297 --> 00:31:50,909 Black Citroen DS, number 438ZA75. 270 00:31:50,941 --> 00:31:54,191 - At the river. 3 or 4 Kms. - Are you coming? 271 00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:58,309 No, he fired me. For all I care, he can run home. 272 00:32:03,359 --> 00:32:04,773 Ah! 273 00:32:31,737 --> 00:32:33,322 There he is! 274 00:33:18,940 --> 00:33:20,573 *Ha houwa! Ha! 275 00:33:58,068 --> 00:34:01,825 - What are you doing here? - Shut up and don't move. 276 00:34:01,908 --> 00:34:06,271 I must return to my country and you're gonna help me. - Me?! Oh... 277 00:34:16,686 --> 00:34:20,326 Pivert, Victor Pivert, he just shot two men. 278 00:34:20,904 --> 00:34:23,131 Yes, a car on a boat. 279 00:34:23,243 --> 00:34:26,035 Put out an APB immediately! 280 00:34:27,497 --> 00:34:29,082 Europe flash. 281 00:34:30,981 --> 00:34:33,864 Mohamed Larbi Slimane, famous 3rd World leader, 282 00:34:33,889 --> 00:34:36,745 kidnapped yesterday in Paris, is still missing. 283 00:34:36,770 --> 00:34:41,590 meanwhile grave events in his country have cut all communication. 284 00:34:41,655 --> 00:34:43,904 All France is following this story... 285 00:34:44,004 --> 00:34:45,939 Let me call the police. 286 00:34:46,119 --> 00:34:49,356 They'll arrest Fares and let you go home. - Police ?! 287 00:34:49,381 --> 00:34:52,393 They'll deliver me to our government's 'maramouches'. 288 00:34:52,418 --> 00:34:55,654 - Maramouches ? - Killers. - Fares?! - Colonel Fares. 289 00:34:55,700 --> 00:34:59,433 - So, everybody's against you? - No, the people are with me. 290 00:34:59,511 --> 00:35:03,368 - And you can't lie to the people all of the time! - Sure, you can! Easily. 291 00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:06,534 In my factory I lie to the people all day. 292 00:35:06,729 --> 00:35:09,644 They love being lied to. "The people!" 293 00:35:10,370 --> 00:35:12,451 We'll sweep out all that filth! 294 00:35:12,506 --> 00:35:16,483 If I can return tonight, tomorrow, I'll be Prime Minister. 295 00:35:16,639 --> 00:35:18,303 Prime Minister? 296 00:35:18,483 --> 00:35:22,458 I'm so happy to shake a Prime Minister's revolver. 297 00:35:22,765 --> 00:35:24,904 So much for petroleum! 298 00:35:25,417 --> 00:35:27,644 Oh! No more gas. 299 00:35:28,044 --> 00:35:29,794 I have to stop. 300 00:35:38,555 --> 00:35:40,693 What can he be doing? 301 00:35:41,484 --> 00:35:43,067 Where can he be? 302 00:35:43,167 --> 00:35:47,141 - What's wrong with you today? - My daughter's getting married. 303 00:35:47,182 --> 00:35:49,271 I'm open just as a favour to you. 304 00:35:49,312 --> 00:35:53,074 - You call this a favour? - Open your mouth and be quiet. 305 00:35:53,938 --> 00:35:57,859 Yes, M. Pivert's car? Yes we placed the call. 306 00:36:00,561 --> 00:36:04,381 Madame? - Yes. - Hurry, Monsieur is on the phone. 307 00:36:05,579 --> 00:36:07,898 Oh, hey, hey! 308 00:36:08,915 --> 00:36:12,017 Clamp down hard! I'll be two minutes. 309 00:36:13,205 --> 00:36:14,455 Hello. 310 00:36:14,775 --> 00:36:16,205 Hello! 311 00:36:18,892 --> 00:36:21,541 - Don't answer. - It must be my wife. 312 00:36:21,619 --> 00:36:25,286 She's jealous, if I don't answer, she'll track me down. 313 00:36:25,369 --> 00:36:29,081 Fine, but one false move and... 314 00:36:32,427 --> 00:36:36,606 - Hello. Is that you, Germaine? - It's 11 AM. 315 00:36:36,737 --> 00:36:41,633 I've been expecting you, between cavities. Where'd you spend the night? 316 00:36:41,714 --> 00:36:45,510 - Say you're spending the weekend with a woman. - Oh, no, I beg you. 317 00:36:45,568 --> 00:36:49,619 - You're taking the plane with me! - I couldn't. - Go on! - Nuts! 318 00:36:49,679 --> 00:36:53,585 Germaine, I'm taking off in a plane with a woman. 319 00:36:53,672 --> 00:36:57,764 - A woman? Are you crazy? - Yes! Crazy about her. 320 00:36:57,842 --> 00:37:02,096 - What's she got that I don't? - What's she got? She's got, haha... 321 00:37:03,225 --> 00:37:05,747 She's git big hairy hands, 322 00:37:05,857 --> 00:37:07,697 big feet... 323 00:37:07,877 --> 00:37:11,419 she has curls all over, and a big moustache. 324 00:37:11,474 --> 00:37:13,041 What ?! 325 00:37:13,177 --> 00:37:16,200 Be convincing! She must believe you. 326 00:37:16,357 --> 00:37:19,277 Yes I love her because she doesn't get seasick, 327 00:37:19,318 --> 00:37:21,946 no grease on her face, no hair-curlers 328 00:37:21,993 --> 00:37:23,602 no steel reinforced bra. 329 00:37:23,627 --> 00:37:26,712 I love the way she sings, rubbing my back for hours, 330 00:37:26,737 --> 00:37:29,799 telling me I'm an athlete. that I'm handsome, 331 00:37:29,824 --> 00:37:31,863 and that I'm 1.80 meters tall. Voila! 332 00:37:31,911 --> 00:37:34,907 Who is she? What's her name? 333 00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:37,955 What's her name? What's-her-name. 334 00:37:38,410 --> 00:37:40,341 - Say any name! - Yeah... 335 00:37:40,490 --> 00:37:41,708 Ah! 336 00:37:41,769 --> 00:37:45,270 - Therese Leduc. - Therese Leduc is 65 years old! 337 00:37:45,383 --> 00:37:47,845 Exactly. She's loved me for 30 years, 338 00:37:47,870 --> 00:37:51,414 has never called me on the phone and left me in peace. 339 00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:55,200 Did you see that? - What? - I hung up, this time. 340 00:37:55,671 --> 00:38:00,240 Odile, I'm off to Orly, my husband is there. Tell my daughter to wait. 341 00:38:00,348 --> 00:38:02,815 Pardor Madam. Pivert wedding? 342 00:38:02,986 --> 00:38:05,348 Yes, put it there, lad. 343 00:38:32,635 --> 00:38:36,259 Sorry, sir, the doctor isn't receiving patients today. 344 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,742 Police Commissioner Andréani. M. Pivert, please. 345 00:38:39,829 --> 00:38:42,725 M. Pivert isn't here. What is it about? 346 00:38:44,708 --> 00:38:49,247 Don't worry. Mme. Pivert went to meet her husband at Orly. 347 00:38:49,348 --> 00:38:51,740 She'll be back in two hours. 348 00:38:53,936 --> 00:38:58,122 To Orly Airport! Hurry, we gotta nab him before he flies off. 349 00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:02,258 - Hurry up. - One minute, Monsieur. 350 00:39:10,824 --> 00:39:12,868 That's 57 francs, Monsieur. 351 00:39:14,635 --> 00:39:17,273 Monsieur. What was your speed? 352 00:39:17,415 --> 00:39:19,052 What... eighty? 353 00:39:20,779 --> 00:39:22,271 That's 57. 354 00:39:22,764 --> 00:39:26,317 - Shall I check the oil? - No need, it's fine, thanks. 355 00:39:26,826 --> 00:39:28,724 Thank you, Monsieur. 356 00:39:29,096 --> 00:39:31,894 - Got your papers? - Yeah, sure. 357 00:39:59,435 --> 00:40:02,430 - What'd you do? - Me? Nothing. 358 00:40:04,489 --> 00:40:08,482 - Taking the piss out of me or my colleague? - Oh, both! 359 00:40:08,521 --> 00:40:10,771 No Officer, neither one. 360 00:40:10,831 --> 00:40:14,012 Yes, I'm taking the piss out both of you! 361 00:40:15,088 --> 00:40:16,701 Turn a bit. 362 00:40:16,787 --> 00:40:19,490 - What's that? - Where? 363 00:40:19,895 --> 00:40:23,240 - A wart. - A wart? Oh! 364 00:40:24,325 --> 00:40:27,895 - Aww, that's not nice! - I think it looks fine. 365 00:40:27,981 --> 00:40:30,786 Oh, no. Quite ugly... 366 00:40:31,331 --> 00:40:35,260 Look, two huge hairs sticking out. 367 00:40:35,450 --> 00:40:37,553 - Yeah? - Doesn't it hurt? 368 00:40:37,578 --> 00:40:39,341 - No. - It doesn't? 369 00:40:39,376 --> 00:40:41,216 And if I do this? 370 00:40:43,633 --> 00:40:47,250 That's gotta hurt, dammit, huh? 371 00:40:47,453 --> 00:40:50,459 What's this about? Papers, now! 372 00:40:50,537 --> 00:40:53,592 I always drive without them. No drivers license, 373 00:40:53,670 --> 00:40:57,037 no grey slip, no sticker, no insurance. Arrest me. 374 00:40:57,116 --> 00:40:59,966 You'll pay dearly for that. - Arrest me. 375 00:41:00,078 --> 00:41:03,716 - What's your name? - Pivert. Like the woodpecker. 376 00:41:19,231 --> 00:41:20,838 Fill'er up? 377 00:41:23,404 --> 00:41:25,521 Step on it, it's Fares! 378 00:41:25,634 --> 00:41:27,685 That's enough. Get out. 379 00:41:28,036 --> 00:41:29,911 Put it in first! 380 00:41:34,931 --> 00:41:37,033 *Teba, teba. Hou, hou! 381 00:41:46,251 --> 00:41:48,294 *(expletives) 382 00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:22,963 Ladies and gentlemen we are arriving at Paris Orly airport. 383 00:42:23,059 --> 00:42:24,464 It's 11:25... 384 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:28,235 Please, gentlemen sit down and fasten your seatbelts. 385 00:42:28,275 --> 00:42:29,844 Sit down, Samuel (ENG) 386 00:42:29,899 --> 00:42:33,131 My French family is waiting for me below. - I see. 387 00:42:33,185 --> 00:42:35,755 - I came for the bar mitzvah. - Interesting. 388 00:42:35,818 --> 00:42:38,888 The communion, of my nephew, little David. 389 00:42:39,013 --> 00:42:40,949 He's already thirteen. 390 00:42:42,694 --> 00:42:44,358 Ah, Samuel. 391 00:42:46,700 --> 00:42:50,394 David, don't start your nonsense. Go there and be quiet! 392 00:42:52,229 --> 00:42:54,749 Mom, how will we recognise uncle Jacob? 393 00:42:54,774 --> 00:42:58,619 No one's seen him except grandma Tzipe and she can't see. 394 00:42:58,674 --> 00:43:00,708 Waddaya mean I can't hear?! 395 00:43:00,779 --> 00:43:05,214 To honor Uncle Jacod we shoulda got Solomon to drive him in his boss' car. 396 00:43:05,222 --> 00:43:07,929 He can't. He got canned yesterday. 397 00:43:08,039 --> 00:43:11,550 - What? - His boss fired him yesterday. 398 00:43:11,625 --> 00:43:17,048 I always said M. Piverte is a very nice man! 399 00:43:20,487 --> 00:43:23,791 Don't push! Why must I bring my case? 400 00:43:23,816 --> 00:43:27,305 - 'Cause we're both going. - No, you go do your revolution 401 00:43:27,312 --> 00:43:29,650 I'll go marry off my daughter. 402 00:43:29,689 --> 00:43:32,669 If things get ugly, you can serve as my hostage. Move! 403 00:43:38,654 --> 00:43:42,550 Arriving from Frankfurt, flight AF-741, 404 00:43:42,721 --> 00:43:44,612 gate 45. 405 00:43:54,471 --> 00:43:56,641 No funny faces or you're dead. 406 00:43:56,729 --> 00:43:59,370 - I never pull funny faces! - Stop it! 407 00:43:59,424 --> 00:44:01,961 - Look at him. Look! - What? 408 00:44:02,051 --> 00:44:03,893 The security guard. 409 00:44:04,111 --> 00:44:06,433 He's huge. I'm puny. 410 00:44:06,790 --> 00:44:09,495 That's a proper hostage! 411 00:44:35,161 --> 00:44:37,888 - What is it? - See that? - What? 412 00:44:37,933 --> 00:44:40,176 - She's a redhead. - So? 413 00:44:43,083 --> 00:44:44,918 Be good baby. 414 00:44:49,396 --> 00:44:52,271 How lovely! Cute. 415 00:44:52,686 --> 00:44:54,240 Whoops! 416 00:44:54,991 --> 00:44:57,021 What's his name? 417 00:45:03,957 --> 00:45:05,801 Do you have a light? 418 00:45:12,178 --> 00:45:14,355 Of course he has a light! 419 00:45:20,895 --> 00:45:22,614 Take that! 420 00:45:23,085 --> 00:45:25,568 You think that's funny, imbecile? 421 00:45:25,608 --> 00:45:27,036 Imbecile! 422 00:45:58,430 --> 00:45:59,872 There it is! 423 00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:02,661 The plane from New York just landed. 424 00:46:02,724 --> 00:46:04,659 Hurry, you're too slow! 425 00:46:04,717 --> 00:46:07,176 We have time, it won't fly away. 426 00:46:07,223 --> 00:46:08,785 Hurry! 427 00:46:10,249 --> 00:46:12,658 - David, come here. - Hurry up. 428 00:46:12,697 --> 00:46:14,354 Look, cheri! 429 00:46:14,403 --> 00:46:17,291 Look, there he is. It must be him. 430 00:46:17,370 --> 00:46:20,207 Jacob, uncle Jacob! 431 00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:23,271 Where is Jacob? I don't see him. 432 00:46:23,443 --> 00:46:27,161 That's the wrong direction. Look down there! 433 00:46:31,923 --> 00:46:34,039 Passenger Pivert... 434 00:46:34,963 --> 00:46:36,882 Passenger Pivert. 435 00:46:37,513 --> 00:46:43,159 Would M. Pivert, come to the information counter! 436 00:46:43,237 --> 00:46:46,636 - They're here. - Arkoum, Slimane and Pivert. 437 00:46:48,708 --> 00:46:52,444 Division chief! Good timing. They just paged Pivert. 438 00:46:52,519 --> 00:46:55,131 Block the exits and let's go! 439 00:46:55,195 --> 00:46:57,710 But, careful, he's a killer! 440 00:46:57,857 --> 00:47:00,217 Please, Mlle, try again. 441 00:47:00,709 --> 00:47:03,482 Would passenger Piver... 442 00:47:04,100 --> 00:47:07,295 Victor, come back. Victor! 443 00:47:10,854 --> 00:47:13,213 - Victor - Oh my god it's Germaine! 444 00:47:13,238 --> 00:47:15,924 It's your wife calling. I beg you. 445 00:47:15,976 --> 00:47:19,664 Shut up and tell me where you are! Germaine? 446 00:47:21,744 --> 00:47:23,323 Germaine? 447 00:47:25,979 --> 00:47:27,911 I forgive you, Victor. 448 00:47:27,982 --> 00:47:31,989 Don't leave with Thérèse Leduc on your daughter's wedding day. 449 00:47:32,066 --> 00:47:33,990 Victor, do you hear me? 450 00:47:34,381 --> 00:47:36,162 Victor, do you hear me? 451 00:47:36,242 --> 00:47:40,538 Yes, I hear you. Not so loud, I'm coming. 452 00:47:40,944 --> 00:47:42,622 My microph...! 453 00:47:42,702 --> 00:47:47,693 Your husband's not leaving YOU for Therese Leduc. Gimme that! 454 00:47:53,182 --> 00:47:55,464 - Germaine. - Victor! 455 00:47:55,578 --> 00:47:59,000 Victor! - Gimme the mike, I have an announcement. 456 00:47:59,062 --> 00:48:02,999 I have one too. And more important than yours. 457 00:48:22,310 --> 00:48:25,113 Oh, it's you! I thought it was a 'maramouche'. 458 00:48:25,145 --> 00:48:27,395 - Is Fares here? - Yeah, he wants to... 459 00:48:27,443 --> 00:48:31,685 - C'mon! - Wait, let me look first. 460 00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:54,572 - Open up! - No! 461 00:48:58,481 --> 00:49:01,715 - Open! - There's no one here. 462 00:49:02,833 --> 00:49:06,255 - Open, I say! - I can't, it's occupied. 463 00:49:07,163 --> 00:49:09,665 - Open. - Hear that? 464 00:49:11,647 --> 00:49:14,973 Sir, is your friend sick? 465 00:49:15,695 --> 00:49:17,636 Can we help? 466 00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:21,926 It seems, you can. 467 00:49:46,839 --> 00:49:49,403 Lowlife! Get out! 468 00:51:08,244 --> 00:51:11,408 Me, as a rabbi. It's really the limit! 469 00:51:12,372 --> 00:51:14,236 Wait. 470 00:51:26,814 --> 00:51:28,343 Jacob! 471 00:51:29,125 --> 00:51:30,734 Jacob! 472 00:51:32,953 --> 00:51:34,624 It is him! 473 00:51:35,656 --> 00:51:37,148 Jacob! 474 00:51:40,451 --> 00:51:41,998 Uncle Jacob! 475 00:51:43,215 --> 00:51:44,504 Uncle Jacob! 476 00:51:44,574 --> 00:51:46,667 Dear, let me shalom him too. 477 00:51:46,769 --> 00:51:48,716 - Shalom. - Shalom. 478 00:51:48,856 --> 00:51:53,075 - SHALOM! (What now?) - (Play along. It is our only chance) 479 00:51:53,193 --> 00:51:55,924 I'd recognise him among thousands. 480 00:51:55,949 --> 00:51:59,638 Spitting image of his brother, my husband, bless his soul. 481 00:51:59,708 --> 00:52:03,751 - Is he also a Schmoll? - A schmoll? 482 00:52:03,834 --> 00:52:05,720 Yes, who is he, uncle? 483 00:52:05,774 --> 00:52:07,103 Yes, he's right. 484 00:52:07,128 --> 00:52:11,036 He asked who he is and deserves an answer. 485 00:52:11,075 --> 00:52:12,708 You asked about him? 486 00:52:12,763 --> 00:52:15,826 He's my secretary, chauffeur and porter. 487 00:52:15,909 --> 00:52:17,485 Take my suitcase. 488 00:52:17,639 --> 00:52:20,873 - What's his name? - Him, up there? 489 00:52:20,919 --> 00:52:25,755 His name is Larbi Rabbi mm... Slimann. With 'mann' on the end. 490 00:52:25,826 --> 00:52:27,669 Seligmann! 491 00:52:27,758 --> 00:52:31,732 - Rabbi Seligmann. Enchantee. - Madame. 492 00:52:31,819 --> 00:52:33,395 Come, Jacob, 493 00:52:33,435 --> 00:52:35,997 Tell me, how are they all in New York? *Sag mir wie geht es alles in New York? 494 00:52:36,106 --> 00:52:38,762 And what's the whole family doing? Und was macht die ganze mischpokhe? 495 00:52:38,787 --> 00:52:40,735 - Geht, geht? - Geht, geht! 496 00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:42,636 - Ja, ja? - Ja, ja!* 497 00:52:44,448 --> 00:52:46,590 Why don't you have a beard? 498 00:52:46,643 --> 00:52:49,847 I lent it to someone who didn't have one. 499 00:52:50,021 --> 00:52:55,044 That Seligman is not just anybody. A rabbi who is a chauffeur ! 500 00:52:55,241 --> 00:52:59,294 Jacob, you have a funny accent in French. 501 00:52:59,458 --> 00:53:01,203 - You think? - Yes, yes. 502 00:53:01,257 --> 00:53:03,625 You've become a real American. 503 00:53:03,686 --> 00:53:07,810 You want I should teach you good French? - Yes, yes, yes. 504 00:53:07,901 --> 00:53:13,297 I know a good exercise. Pronounce the names of fuhz. 505 00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:14,766 Fuzz? 506 00:53:14,821 --> 00:53:18,541 - Coats made from fuhz. - Ah, furs! 507 00:53:18,602 --> 00:53:20,668 - Try. - Yes. 508 00:53:28,131 --> 00:53:30,349 Minkh. 509 00:53:31,896 --> 00:53:34,600 Chinchilla. 510 00:53:34,700 --> 00:53:36,786 Musket rats. 511 00:53:41,106 --> 00:53:43,848 - Fuchs - Fuchs. 512 00:53:44,013 --> 00:53:46,208 The silver fuchs. 513 00:53:46,309 --> 00:53:49,747 - The painter. - The painter. 514 00:53:50,416 --> 00:53:53,393 No, a painter. The animal. 515 00:53:53,485 --> 00:53:55,541 Panther. Dit, dit, dit... 516 00:53:55,636 --> 00:53:57,292 Grrr! 517 00:53:58,567 --> 00:54:00,403 Very good, Jacob! 518 00:54:01,184 --> 00:54:04,071 - Madame Pivert? - That's me. 519 00:54:04,618 --> 00:54:08,193 Police. Your husband is waiting in his car. 520 00:54:08,272 --> 00:54:09,966 My Victor! 521 00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:13,800 I knew, at the last minute, he'd change his mind. 522 00:54:13,825 --> 00:54:16,334 But, police ?! Why? 523 00:54:17,057 --> 00:54:21,533 - M. Pivert is in a real mess. - Therese Leduc, I knew it! 524 00:54:21,736 --> 00:54:23,634 C'mon, let's go! 525 00:54:32,583 --> 00:54:35,019 Where's Victor? Hey, let go of me! 526 00:54:35,114 --> 00:54:37,715 - Get in! - It's an ambush! 527 00:54:39,021 --> 00:54:40,661 Officer! 528 00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:44,552 Mme Pivert, which way did she go ? 529 00:54:44,630 --> 00:54:47,472 I dunno! That way, or the other way. 530 00:54:47,515 --> 00:54:50,693 - I can't watch everybody! - Exactly, watch everybody! 531 00:54:50,703 --> 00:54:52,568 - Commissioner! - Yeah! 532 00:54:52,615 --> 00:54:56,537 We found two rabbis, tied and gagged, in the toilets. 533 00:54:56,622 --> 00:54:59,698 Two rabbis? - They stole their clothes and shaved them. 534 00:54:59,730 --> 00:55:02,450 - Who did it? - A big guy with black hair. 535 00:55:02,496 --> 00:55:05,865 And a short bald guy, with blue eyes. - Pivert, again! 536 00:55:05,934 --> 00:55:08,980 - It might be... - Slimane? Sure! Hurry! 537 00:55:19,259 --> 00:55:22,900 Excuse me, this is a celebrity. Excuse me. 538 00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:26,123 Get in, uncle Jacob. I'll buy the tickets. 539 00:55:27,858 --> 00:55:29,403 Go ahead. 540 00:55:34,109 --> 00:55:35,779 You're very kind. 541 00:55:35,841 --> 00:55:37,216 And... 542 00:55:37,241 --> 00:55:41,342 you're the best looking Jew I've seen, in a long time. 543 00:55:41,367 --> 00:55:43,678 Pretty eyes, lovely teeth! 544 00:55:43,710 --> 00:55:47,225 Come, let me kiss you. You're so cute! 545 00:55:48,918 --> 00:55:52,621 You too, Mme Schmoll, must've been a knock-out. - Ahh! 546 00:55:52,677 --> 00:55:55,339 Do you know how many marriages I arranged 547 00:55:55,364 --> 00:55:57,822 on Rue des Rosiers?... 43! 548 00:55:57,917 --> 00:55:59,682 118 children. 549 00:55:59,771 --> 00:56:02,159 2 ½ children per couple. 550 00:56:02,634 --> 00:56:05,286 - Are you married? - No. 551 00:56:05,427 --> 00:56:09,599 What do you like in a girlfriend, blondes, brunettes?... 552 00:56:09,818 --> 00:56:11,966 - Redheads. - I have! 553 00:56:12,075 --> 00:56:16,135 30 years away from Paris, and nobody comes to meet me! 554 00:56:16,211 --> 00:56:21,095 - Maybe they didn't get your telegram. - 8 telegrams, I sent. Eight! 555 00:56:21,571 --> 00:56:24,404 They must have got one! 556 00:56:28,483 --> 00:56:31,225 - You see the violin case? - Yes Chief. 557 00:56:31,311 --> 00:56:34,147 And what's inside a violin case? 558 00:56:34,538 --> 00:56:36,224 Um... ♪ La-la, la-la... 559 00:56:36,319 --> 00:56:39,594 No, imbecile! A... t-t-t-t... 560 00:56:40,772 --> 00:56:43,418 Cover me. I'm going in. 561 00:56:46,749 --> 00:56:49,804 Hmm... The address is '8 Rue des Rosiers'. 562 00:56:49,882 --> 00:56:53,140 Now, I need to find the phone number. 563 00:56:56,388 --> 00:56:58,427 My respects, Grand Rabbi. 564 00:56:58,499 --> 00:57:02,137 Ah, Samuel, I told you they'd come get us? 565 00:57:02,187 --> 00:57:04,365 Police. Commissioner Andreani. 566 00:57:04,413 --> 00:57:07,693 - The Police! - A great honour! 567 00:57:07,755 --> 00:57:11,661 It's not every day I meet two, such sought after, rabbis. 568 00:57:11,725 --> 00:57:15,216 Bless you my son. May the Eternal be with you. 569 00:57:15,294 --> 00:57:17,269 Don't touch my violin. 570 00:57:17,349 --> 00:57:21,104 - Don't take me for a fool, Pivert. - Piverte?! 571 00:57:21,341 --> 00:57:22,723 Say,... 572 00:57:22,802 --> 00:57:26,857 that's some patriarchal beard you glued on! 573 00:57:28,118 --> 00:57:29,900 - May I touch it? - Oi! 574 00:57:30,154 --> 00:57:31,896 Oi! 575 00:57:32,378 --> 00:57:33,987 Excuse me, sir... 576 00:57:46,996 --> 00:57:48,641 - Solomon! - Yeah? 577 00:57:48,681 --> 00:57:51,856 - Telephone, in your room! - Coming! 578 00:57:57,276 --> 00:57:58,690 Hello. 579 00:57:58,909 --> 00:58:00,347 Who?... 580 00:58:00,761 --> 00:58:02,503 Uncle Jacob? 581 00:58:02,948 --> 00:58:06,048 No, it's Solomon. Did you have a good voyage? 582 00:58:06,094 --> 00:58:09,790 No, I did not have a good voyage. I had a very bad voyage! 583 00:58:09,844 --> 00:58:11,868 - Where are you? - At Orly! 584 00:58:11,930 --> 00:58:13,912 30 years I haven't been to Paris 585 00:58:13,937 --> 00:58:15,752 and the police picks up! 586 00:58:15,791 --> 00:58:17,623 It's all in order, Chief. 587 00:58:17,672 --> 00:58:20,744 - Excuse us, it's an error. - Thanks. 588 00:58:20,855 --> 00:58:22,955 What's with you people?! 589 00:58:22,995 --> 00:58:27,056 Uncle Jacob, I don't understand. There must be an error. 590 00:58:31,566 --> 00:58:35,829 It's Rabbi Jacob in the taxi. Come down Solomon! 591 00:58:39,886 --> 00:58:41,597 What the?.. 592 00:58:42,253 --> 00:58:45,847 Listen, you on the phone, stop being a jerk! 593 00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:49,137 - Jerk? - Today, of all days, really! 594 00:58:49,231 --> 00:58:50,739 Imbecile! 595 00:58:51,911 --> 00:58:53,755 Long live Rabbi Jacob! 596 00:58:53,818 --> 00:58:56,019 Solomon's 'gone crazy'! *is geworden meshugge 597 00:58:56,052 --> 00:58:58,982 - 'Totally crazy', Rabbi. - Jerk. *Ganz meshugge 598 00:58:59,292 --> 00:59:02,325 Shalom, uncle Jacob, shalom! 599 00:59:06,154 --> 00:59:08,961 You should bless them, uncle Jacob. 600 00:59:10,859 --> 00:59:13,359 That's why they came, you know. 601 00:59:13,528 --> 00:59:16,794 Such modesty. He's a modist! 602 00:59:19,481 --> 00:59:21,133 Stand up, uncle Jacob. 603 00:59:21,158 --> 00:59:23,709 They wanna welcome you. Go on. 604 00:59:23,879 --> 00:59:26,547 Stick your head outside. 605 01:00:04,035 --> 01:00:07,203 Not like that. D'you think you're in Rome?! 606 01:00:10,536 --> 01:00:12,067 It's all your fault. 607 01:00:12,118 --> 01:00:15,232 Wait till I tell them who you are. You'll see! 608 01:00:19,392 --> 01:00:22,304 Silence! Quiet! 609 01:00:23,077 --> 01:00:25,629 Silence. Quiet! 610 01:00:26,836 --> 01:00:29,615 We welcome you, Rabbi Jacob, 611 01:00:29,670 --> 01:00:31,971 venerable teacher, 612 01:00:32,287 --> 01:00:34,404 well of knowledge, 613 01:00:34,646 --> 01:00:36,850 celestial luminary. 614 01:00:36,952 --> 01:00:40,078 Hear that? Now, that's good! Very good! 615 01:00:44,223 --> 01:00:49,872 As a souvenir of this day, accept this modest 'Shtreimel'. 616 01:00:59,437 --> 01:01:02,331 Oh, lovely Shtreimel! 617 01:01:02,945 --> 01:01:06,622 It's mink. I'll wear it every Sunday. 618 01:01:11,888 --> 01:01:13,826 Saturday, not Sunday! 619 01:01:13,974 --> 01:01:17,177 He said Sunday, but it's not. It's Saturday. 620 01:01:20,805 --> 01:01:23,224 Silence. Silence. 621 01:01:24,602 --> 01:01:28,029 Rabbi Jacob will speak now. 622 01:01:29,780 --> 01:01:31,741 Go on, say something. 623 01:01:33,974 --> 01:01:35,521 Ah. 624 01:01:42,070 --> 01:01:43,980 My dear Rosenfelds. 625 01:01:49,589 --> 01:01:53,643 [PORK PRODUCTS - ROZENBERG] My dear Rozenbergs. 626 01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:59,624 [BEEF BUTCHER - KOSHER] My dear Koshers. 627 01:02:02,300 --> 01:02:03,966 Not that. 628 01:02:08,524 --> 01:02:11,569 How about that? My dear Levi's. 629 01:02:16,927 --> 01:02:18,912 Dear Levi's. 630 01:02:20,030 --> 01:02:22,074 Keep the rest. 631 01:02:22,821 --> 01:02:27,186 Uncle Jacob, a thousand excuses. You must get off. 632 01:02:27,218 --> 01:02:31,108 - The taxi has to leave. - Yes, yes. - He's getting out. 633 01:02:31,162 --> 01:02:33,872 - What if they ask me stuff? - Do as they do. 634 01:02:33,907 --> 01:02:36,349 Ask a Jew anything, he always answers 635 01:02:36,388 --> 01:02:39,347 with another question, to buy time to think. 636 01:02:39,442 --> 01:02:40,997 Oh, yeah? 637 01:02:52,792 --> 01:02:54,611 Monsieur! 638 01:03:03,805 --> 01:03:07,637 - Jacob, do you recognise me? - And do you recognise me? 639 01:03:07,714 --> 01:03:09,582 - No. - Good! 640 01:03:11,628 --> 01:03:14,360 We have a thousand questions for you. 641 01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:16,592 Well I have two thousand. 642 01:03:16,648 --> 01:03:19,100 - Rabbi Jacob! - Yes. 643 01:03:20,660 --> 01:03:22,970 My driver. He recognises me. 644 01:03:22,995 --> 01:03:25,716 I only have one question. 645 01:03:26,220 --> 01:03:29,786 My boss fired me for refusing to work Saturdays. 646 01:03:29,904 --> 01:03:32,060 What would you do in my place? 647 01:03:32,122 --> 01:03:35,583 Ask him to take you back. He'll say yes! 648 01:03:35,740 --> 01:03:39,309 Ask for a raise. He'll say yes! 649 01:03:39,418 --> 01:03:42,231 - Double my pay? - He'll say yes! 650 01:03:42,312 --> 01:03:45,083 - Triple? - He... He'll say no. 651 01:03:49,607 --> 01:03:52,485 'Monsieur' didn't tell me he was Jewish. 652 01:03:52,557 --> 01:03:55,232 Yesterday I wasn't, that's why. 653 01:03:56,650 --> 01:04:00,377 I beg you Solomon don't tell. The police, the 'maramouches'. 654 01:04:00,418 --> 01:04:03,352 - Everyone wants my hide. - What has 'Monsieur' done? 655 01:04:03,377 --> 01:04:05,373 Nothing Solomon I'm innocent. 656 01:04:05,402 --> 01:04:08,443 They need a scapegoat. And I'm the goat. 657 01:04:08,568 --> 01:04:10,099 Ba-ah-a... 658 01:04:10,169 --> 01:04:12,198 Hide me, and I'll re-hire you. 659 01:04:12,260 --> 01:04:15,669 I'll give you all the holidays Jewish, Catholic and Protestant! 660 01:04:15,694 --> 01:04:18,722 Plus every Sabbath and Sunday. 661 01:04:18,774 --> 01:04:21,110 And the Muslim holidays? 662 01:04:22,039 --> 01:04:24,817 Eh?... Do Muslims have holidays? 663 01:04:24,929 --> 01:04:28,362 What about him, Mohammed Larbi Slimane? 664 01:04:28,826 --> 01:04:31,810 - Why's he here? - Who? 665 01:04:31,989 --> 01:04:35,209 Rabbi Seligmann, 666 01:04:35,652 --> 01:04:38,324 - It's done, I found one. - What? 667 01:04:38,349 --> 01:04:40,193 - A real redhead. - Ahh! 668 01:04:40,356 --> 01:04:41,739 Look. 669 01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:46,122 She's called Hannah. 670 01:04:46,195 --> 01:04:48,120 Say hello. 671 01:04:54,563 --> 01:04:58,407 Mameh, it's fine. They're all ready. 672 01:04:59,395 --> 01:05:03,651 Silence, silence! 673 01:05:04,588 --> 01:05:08,258 Rabbi Jacob will dance! 674 01:05:08,888 --> 01:05:11,896 - No, no. - Rabbi Jacob's a good dancer! 675 01:05:37,762 --> 01:05:39,825 Hoi! Hoi! 676 01:07:18,015 --> 01:07:20,078 Ah, Monsieur has a real gift! 677 01:07:20,131 --> 01:07:22,944 It was a miracle, Solomon. A miracle! 678 01:07:25,195 --> 01:07:26,961 Bravo! 679 01:07:30,957 --> 01:07:34,400 You went to Orly, because you knew Pivert was there! 680 01:07:34,457 --> 01:07:36,855 I thought he was leaving with Therese Leduc. 681 01:07:36,908 --> 01:07:39,518 On his daughter's wedding day?... Drill ! 682 01:07:39,583 --> 01:07:42,562 No, not the drill, I can't stand it! 683 01:07:47,669 --> 01:07:49,357 He's with Slimane. 684 01:07:49,419 --> 01:07:51,146 Where are they? 685 01:07:55,085 --> 01:07:56,786 Hello. Hello! 686 01:07:56,841 --> 01:08:01,105 Is this 749-28-27? Hello. Who's speaking? 687 01:08:01,219 --> 01:08:03,295 Answer. But watch it! 688 01:08:03,539 --> 01:08:07,373 - Germaine? It's me, Victor. - Ah Victor, it's you. 689 01:08:07,818 --> 01:08:09,818 - Ask where he is. - No! 690 01:08:09,866 --> 01:08:11,981 Hello? Hello? Hello! 691 01:08:13,142 --> 01:08:15,708 Germaine turn off the drill, dammit! 692 01:08:15,739 --> 01:08:17,588 Can you hear me, or not? 693 01:08:17,695 --> 01:08:19,197 Where are you, cheri? 694 01:08:19,229 --> 01:08:21,826 Hiding with some Jewish friends. 695 01:08:21,890 --> 01:08:24,005 You have Jewish friends? You?! 696 01:08:24,087 --> 01:08:27,708 'Course I have Jewish fr... What do you mean by that? 697 01:08:27,755 --> 01:08:30,536 Say the police is here and let me speak to him. 698 01:08:30,583 --> 01:08:34,003 The police is here. They wanna speak to you. 699 01:08:34,333 --> 01:08:37,703 Hello, M. Pivert, I'm the Commissioner. 700 01:08:37,817 --> 01:08:40,354 I recognize your voice, Commissioner. 701 01:08:40,409 --> 01:08:42,502 I'm so happy to hear you! 702 01:08:42,551 --> 01:08:45,940 Same here. Where are you M. Pivert? 703 01:08:46,112 --> 01:08:48,115 Listen, I know the killers. 704 01:08:48,188 --> 01:08:51,032 You can nab the whole smalah*. (tribe) 705 01:08:51,082 --> 01:08:54,103 - Their leader is called Fares. - Oh, yeah? 706 01:08:54,686 --> 01:08:56,895 I'll give you his description. 707 01:08:56,983 --> 01:08:59,272 Fat, greasy, curly hair, 708 01:08:59,342 --> 01:09:02,811 small cruel eyes piercing through dark glasses. 709 01:09:03,186 --> 01:09:05,865 - A true killer's face. - Voila! 710 01:09:06,173 --> 01:09:08,849 I am at "Etoile de Kiev". 711 01:09:10,622 --> 01:09:14,237 It's a restaurant, a delikatessen, 712 01:09:14,315 --> 01:09:17,215 Rue des Rosiers number eight... 713 01:09:17,285 --> 01:09:18,763 Oight, oight! 714 01:09:18,911 --> 01:09:21,780 - Shalom, Rabbi. - Shalom, my son. - Shalom. 715 01:09:21,825 --> 01:09:24,075 Shalom, not you, him. 716 01:09:24,309 --> 01:09:25,955 OK... 717 01:09:26,023 --> 01:09:28,934 OK, you ask for Rabbi Jacob. 718 01:09:29,013 --> 01:09:31,611 And Rabbi Jacob, is me. 719 01:09:31,666 --> 01:09:34,080 Is Slimane with you? 720 01:09:35,806 --> 01:09:37,283 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 721 01:09:37,330 --> 01:09:40,885 They're marrying him off to a redhead, outside. 722 01:09:40,989 --> 01:09:44,516 Don't move M. Pivert, we're coming. - Yes! 723 01:09:44,572 --> 01:09:46,112 Jacob! 724 01:09:46,299 --> 01:09:50,190 Jacob! Have you heard the news? - No. 725 01:09:50,299 --> 01:09:52,315 Hannah's engaged. 726 01:09:52,359 --> 01:09:56,388 If Rabbi Jacob gives his blessing. - Pfft! 727 01:09:56,694 --> 01:09:59,107 What a cute goil! 728 01:10:03,232 --> 01:10:07,145 So, are you happy? Look at her. Tiddly-diggety-dee! 729 01:10:07,267 --> 01:10:09,786 And you... Mmmmm! 730 01:10:10,827 --> 01:10:13,246 Rabbi Jacob says YES! 731 01:10:14,811 --> 01:10:17,553 Voila. He's so happy. 732 01:10:22,264 --> 01:10:25,614 Today of all days, to pull THIS on me! 733 01:10:34,741 --> 01:10:36,963 Papa's disappeared. 734 01:10:39,540 --> 01:10:41,204 Mama! 735 01:11:04,414 --> 01:11:06,144 Antoinette! 958 01:11:07,079 --> 01:11:09,535 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 736 01:11:39,938 --> 01:11:41,419 I can't do it. 737 01:11:41,505 --> 01:11:44,279 - Are you Rabbi Jacob or not? - Yes, but not here! 738 01:11:44,345 --> 01:11:47,682 - Play along, I beg you. - You're safe with us. 739 01:11:47,707 --> 01:11:51,108 Uncle Jacob? - Yes. - we cleared the way. 740 01:11:55,784 --> 01:11:58,951 - What should we do? - Do like everyone else. 741 01:11:59,014 --> 01:12:03,735 - How does a Jewish Communion work? - It works out alright. 742 01:12:08,911 --> 01:12:12,880 As soon as my wife gets here, I'm off to church! 743 01:12:23,301 --> 01:12:25,692 Bless me, uncle Jacob. 744 01:12:31,566 --> 01:12:33,776 I bless you, David. 745 01:12:39,802 --> 01:12:42,514 You too, Rabbi Seligmann. 746 01:12:46,957 --> 01:12:49,536 God be with you, David. 972 01:12:49,544 --> 01:12:53,506 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 973 01:12:57,135 --> 01:12:58,886 - Pssst! - Amen! 747 01:12:59,958 --> 01:13:03,457 - Pssst! Hey. - What is it? 748 01:13:03,582 --> 01:13:08,603 Rabbi Jacob's wanted on the phone. It's urgent. From Madame Pivert. 749 01:13:09,620 --> 01:13:11,427 I'm coming. 750 01:13:22,365 --> 01:13:25,013 Amen! 751 01:13:26,283 --> 01:13:28,273 Did you hear? They say amen. 752 01:13:28,351 --> 01:13:30,661 Great! Same as us. 753 01:13:30,825 --> 01:13:33,079 I beg you Solomon, warn Monsieur! 754 01:13:33,130 --> 01:13:35,587 There are 3. Their boss is called Fares. 755 01:13:35,622 --> 01:13:37,950 Three killers? Here? 756 01:13:41,173 --> 01:13:44,950 They want to assassinate him. Hurry they're on their way! 757 01:13:44,997 --> 01:13:47,435 No, Madame, they're here. 986 01:13:59,189 --> 01:14:02,025 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 758 01:14:10,334 --> 01:14:12,594 Mazel tov, my son. 759 01:14:25,248 --> 01:14:29,315 *♪ Ya mod, Rabbi Jacob. 760 01:14:32,260 --> 01:14:35,853 What's he saying? - Eh? What's he saying? 761 01:14:36,676 --> 01:14:41,327 He says, without imposing, uncle Jacob, it's your turn to read the Torah. 762 01:14:41,388 --> 01:14:43,638 I can't, it's too great an honour. 763 01:14:43,725 --> 01:14:46,638 I'm even more overcome than you. 764 01:14:46,744 --> 01:14:49,240 You too, Rabbi Seligman. - No. - Yes! 765 01:14:49,322 --> 01:14:52,286 What an honour for my family and me! 766 01:14:53,204 --> 01:14:55,302 Please, Rabbi Jacob. 767 01:15:21,776 --> 01:15:23,435 It's Hebrew. 768 01:15:23,481 --> 01:15:26,400 Read from right to left, like Arabic. 769 01:15:27,435 --> 01:15:31,058 I'll give the honour to Rabbi Seligmann. 770 01:15:31,245 --> 01:15:33,636 He'll read in Hebrew. 771 01:15:33,824 --> 01:15:37,206 The glasses. And the hand. 772 01:15:37,620 --> 01:15:41,295 There... You read it from right to left. 773 01:15:44,656 --> 01:15:48,074 - Think they're in there, Chief? - It's possible. 774 01:15:48,230 --> 01:15:53,106 Careful, it's like a church. So... tact and delicacy! 775 01:15:56,767 --> 01:15:58,656 Your hats. 776 01:16:06,732 --> 01:16:08,612 Fares is in the synagogue. 777 01:16:08,674 --> 01:16:11,169 - Fares? - Leave it to me. 778 01:16:19,033 --> 01:16:21,357 - Hats. - Hats. 779 01:16:22,125 --> 01:16:24,001 Hats! 780 01:16:26,373 --> 01:16:29,536 Silence. Silence! 781 01:16:31,122 --> 01:16:33,021 *Brothers... [HEBREW] 782 01:16:33,130 --> 01:16:36,568 the three men that have just come in 783 01:16:36,668 --> 01:16:40,878 are not here to pray. They're assassins! 784 01:16:41,118 --> 01:16:43,644 - Assassins? - Assassins? 785 01:16:44,357 --> 01:16:49,027 *They want to kill Rabbi Jacob and Rabbi Seligmann. 786 01:16:49,191 --> 01:16:54,208 Help me save them. 787 01:17:02,094 --> 01:17:06,058 What are you doing? let me be. 788 01:17:22,744 --> 01:17:25,977 Solomon! Quickly, Solomon. 789 01:17:27,486 --> 01:17:29,174 That way. 790 01:17:31,380 --> 01:17:34,473 Wait in the "Etoile de Kiev". I'll get my moped. 791 01:17:34,513 --> 01:17:36,786 How did Fares know we were here? 792 01:17:36,811 --> 01:17:42,107 - Monsieur blabbed to him on the phone. - I told the Commissioner. - That WAS Fares. 793 01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:45,824 What? That was Fares? Unbelievable! 794 01:18:01,692 --> 01:18:05,792 Thirty years, Samuel, and nothing changed! 795 01:18:09,900 --> 01:18:14,615 There's the synagogue. And this is the Etoile de Kiev. 796 01:18:17,357 --> 01:18:19,997 Hey, what's going on? Lemme go! 797 01:18:20,051 --> 01:18:21,708 Open it. Get in! 798 01:18:26,053 --> 01:18:27,853 Step on it! 799 01:18:30,226 --> 01:18:33,159 Monsieur, come quick. 800 01:18:33,751 --> 01:18:36,505 Hop on, and get away, quick! 801 01:18:36,623 --> 01:18:38,584 Hurry, get on! 802 01:18:40,530 --> 01:18:43,302 - Get on. Go! - Goddammit! 803 01:18:43,372 --> 01:18:46,990 - You saved my life, Solomon. - Ok, OK! - You'd have done the same 804 01:18:47,060 --> 01:18:50,723 I say!... Solomon, Slimane. Slimane, Solomon. 805 01:18:51,248 --> 01:18:53,445 Could you guys be cousins? 806 01:18:53,638 --> 01:18:56,427 - Cousins? - Estranged... 807 01:18:56,924 --> 01:18:58,621 Thanks. 808 01:18:58,794 --> 01:19:03,099 Save it for later. Go! To St. Louis des Invalides Church. 809 01:19:22,623 --> 01:19:26,001 Police. Commissioner Andreani. 810 01:19:30,334 --> 01:19:33,130 Mama, there's the Etoile de Kiev. 811 01:19:33,193 --> 01:19:37,644 Commissioner, we took you for killers. It's a misunderstanding. 812 01:19:37,683 --> 01:19:39,272 He misunderstood! 813 01:19:39,310 --> 01:19:42,433 This misunderstanding will cost you dearly. - Sami! 814 01:19:42,474 --> 01:19:44,255 Cossaks! 815 01:19:44,911 --> 01:19:48,154 Leave my Sami alone or I'll call the police! 816 01:19:48,218 --> 01:19:51,833 This is the police, mameh. These men are the police 817 01:19:52,364 --> 01:19:54,991 There's Solomon, mom. 818 01:19:58,025 --> 01:20:00,526 - Solomon! - Madame? 819 01:20:02,419 --> 01:20:04,958 What've you done with my husband? 820 01:20:05,005 --> 01:20:07,828 - Don't worry, Sir is safe. - Where is he? 821 01:20:07,853 --> 01:20:11,857 I lent him my moped and he went to your wedding. 822 01:20:45,144 --> 01:20:47,287 I can't breathe. 823 01:20:49,388 --> 01:20:52,099 Police! *... 824 01:20:54,263 --> 01:20:56,816 Take off your beard, Pivert. 825 01:20:56,921 --> 01:21:00,706 Again, with the Piverte?! What is this Piverte? 826 01:21:03,425 --> 01:21:05,341 Waddaya tryinna do? 827 01:21:05,436 --> 01:21:11,325 - That's not Slimane! * - Fi, rai! Eenhoil 828 01:21:11,395 --> 01:21:13,481 And I'm not Piverte! 829 01:21:13,732 --> 01:21:15,536 Hurry, hurry! 830 01:21:18,734 --> 01:21:22,193 My boat, my car! There, they stole it. 831 01:21:22,427 --> 01:21:24,404 Thief! Thief! 832 01:21:24,470 --> 01:21:27,044 - Don't shout like that. - Move it! 833 01:21:34,114 --> 01:21:36,965 - Faster. Faster. - I can't! 834 01:21:37,074 --> 01:21:39,177 - Go! - Aahh, my hat ! 835 01:21:39,233 --> 01:21:40,810 That way! 836 01:21:41,254 --> 01:21:44,020 - There! - Careful, my hat! 837 01:21:44,238 --> 01:21:46,449 My hat, I can't see! 838 01:21:56,265 --> 01:21:58,419 Quick, this way! 839 01:22:07,694 --> 01:22:09,895 Thief! Stop! 840 01:22:16,583 --> 01:22:18,209 Thief! 841 01:22:18,760 --> 01:22:20,982 Oh, no, it's not me. 842 01:22:23,733 --> 01:22:26,072 Not the moustache. Not the moustache. 843 01:22:39,173 --> 01:22:42,396 - You're the Pivert?! - Rabbi Jacob! 844 01:22:51,355 --> 01:22:55,902 Hello, Citroen DS, license 438ZA75, 845 01:22:56,050 --> 01:22:58,949 carrying the boat Germaine II, 846 01:22:59,046 --> 01:23:02,309 is heading towards Place de la Concorde. 847 01:23:16,529 --> 01:23:19,362 Spare their lives, Fares. They won't talk. 848 01:23:19,411 --> 01:23:22,779 No, I won't talk. Not a word. I forgot everything. 849 01:23:22,825 --> 01:23:26,051 I don't even know your name, M. Fares. 850 01:23:28,613 --> 01:23:31,261 Don't shoot! I have an idea. 851 01:23:31,570 --> 01:23:34,096 Instead of shooting me in the car, 852 01:23:34,121 --> 01:23:36,935 you let me go to my daughters wedding. 853 01:23:36,996 --> 01:23:40,494 And tomorrow, you send me a letter-bomb. 854 01:23:41,046 --> 01:23:42,978 So, I'm at home... 855 01:23:43,251 --> 01:23:45,564 The doorbell rings. Drrring! 856 01:23:45,775 --> 01:23:47,368 Drrring! 857 01:23:52,210 --> 01:23:54,339 - Who is it? - I open... 858 01:23:56,773 --> 01:23:58,846 A letter bomb! 859 01:24:00,872 --> 01:24:02,505 And for whom? 860 01:24:02,599 --> 01:24:05,675 - For you, not me. - You're a pain in the a...! 861 01:24:05,705 --> 01:24:08,474 - So, I open it. - NO, don't! YES! No! 862 01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:11,016 I open it and paf!... 863 01:24:11,930 --> 01:24:16,677 No more Pivert, no more Jacob, no more Fares! Waddaya gonna do? 864 01:24:18,443 --> 01:24:19,794 That's for me. 865 01:24:19,844 --> 01:24:21,497 For me! Leggo! 866 01:24:22,678 --> 01:24:24,849 Hello... *... 867 01:24:24,918 --> 01:24:26,286 Hello! 868 01:24:26,324 --> 01:24:29,075 Hello, is this M. Pivert's car? 869 01:24:29,143 --> 01:24:31,872 Is president Slimane with you? 870 01:24:33,115 --> 01:24:35,115 President Slimane?! 871 01:24:36,248 --> 01:24:39,417 The Minister wants to speak with him. 872 01:24:41,036 --> 01:24:43,576 It is for you. The Minister. 873 01:24:44,669 --> 01:24:46,560 Ahh! Gimme! 874 01:24:46,747 --> 01:24:48,700 - Hello. - Hello. 875 01:24:48,966 --> 01:24:51,708 - Mr. President? - Slimane speaking. 876 01:24:51,802 --> 01:24:53,616 The Revolutionary Council 877 01:24:53,641 --> 01:24:57,123 which took power in your country at 13:00 GMT, 878 01:24:57,193 --> 01:24:59,652 wishes you to return, urgently. 879 01:25:00,180 --> 01:25:03,642 - Should I mention petroleum? - It'd be inappropriate. 880 01:25:03,688 --> 01:25:06,599 A Concorde! We could fix him up with one. 881 01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:09,756 Not so fast, you'll spoil everything. - OK. 882 01:25:09,894 --> 01:25:11,951 There's the Alouette 'copters. 883 01:25:12,015 --> 01:25:14,282 I'll slip in a cagey allusion. 884 01:25:15,818 --> 01:25:18,950 We'll come pick you up, in our Alouette Chopper. 885 01:25:18,989 --> 01:25:20,395 Latest model. 886 01:25:20,442 --> 01:25:22,044 I did it, I did it ! 887 01:25:22,087 --> 01:25:24,836 We did it, and they lost! 888 01:25:26,833 --> 01:25:30,420 You appreciate, Mr. President,... 889 01:25:30,708 --> 01:25:32,685 that I saved your life. 890 01:25:32,761 --> 01:25:34,817 They wanted to, 'taga-daga-da!' 891 01:25:34,857 --> 01:25:37,177 *Arkhoum Fares, my President. 892 01:25:37,482 --> 01:25:40,637 - No more *Arkhoum! - Pardon. 893 01:25:40,693 --> 01:25:43,248 Shouldn't have bet on the wrong camel. 894 01:25:43,273 --> 01:25:45,574 Sabres... up! 895 01:25:57,587 --> 01:25:59,929 See that, Mr. President? 896 01:26:07,004 --> 01:26:09,251 That's France! Clip-clop... 897 01:26:09,992 --> 01:26:11,610 France! 898 01:26:38,146 --> 01:26:39,672 That's it! It's over. 899 01:26:39,808 --> 01:26:42,675 It's 2 o' clock, I can't wait any longer. 900 01:26:42,792 --> 01:26:45,449 Remove the plants and flower bouquets. 901 01:26:45,474 --> 01:26:48,079 But Reverend! A little more patience. 902 01:26:48,118 --> 01:26:51,717 I phoned and no one's home, they're surely on their way. 903 01:26:51,778 --> 01:26:55,465 - I'm sorry, I have a funeral. - At least, he'll be on time! 904 01:26:55,508 --> 01:26:57,600 - Alexandre. - Yes, papa. 905 01:26:57,639 --> 01:26:59,834 The Marquise is leaving. 906 01:27:00,114 --> 01:27:03,332 - Stay a little longer, dear Madame? - Any minute, now. 907 01:27:03,368 --> 01:27:07,865 Ah, no, I've been standing for 2 hours, so good bye. Home! 908 01:27:08,411 --> 01:27:11,168 Alexander, you sure it wasn't Notre Dame? 909 01:27:11,232 --> 01:27:13,151 Will we get lunch anyway? 910 01:27:13,177 --> 01:27:15,708 - Better luck next time. - Piss off! 911 01:27:15,865 --> 01:27:18,066 Papa, mama, what now? 912 01:27:18,778 --> 01:27:22,043 - Two hours late. Two! - What'll people think? 913 01:27:22,087 --> 01:27:24,526 Pivert is a useless ass! 914 01:27:31,752 --> 01:27:33,691 What's that? 915 01:27:39,932 --> 01:27:41,518 Mama, what is that? 916 01:27:41,573 --> 01:27:43,596 'TEN... HUTT! 917 01:28:00,521 --> 01:28:03,105 Here I am. Allez, allez ! 918 01:28:05,933 --> 01:28:08,323 General, here I am! Here! 919 01:28:08,494 --> 01:28:10,145 Pivert! 920 01:28:11,357 --> 01:28:13,411 I'm here. Coming! 921 01:28:13,490 --> 01:28:17,177 Stay, Reverend. I'm the father of the bride. 922 01:28:17,279 --> 01:28:18,933 You? A Rabbi?! 923 01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:21,754 It's a scandal, Pivert! A SCANDAL 924 01:28:21,816 --> 01:28:25,504 - Explain yourself! -2 hours late and what's that disguise? 925 01:28:25,574 --> 01:28:27,833 A Rabbi! I'm a Rabbi like you. 926 01:28:27,881 --> 01:28:30,496 This is a Shtreimel. That, too, is a Shtreimel. 927 01:28:30,546 --> 01:28:32,380 These are Curlicues. 928 01:28:32,414 --> 01:28:34,871 - Those, too, are Curlicues! - Aah! 929 01:28:36,661 --> 01:28:38,318 We're here! 930 01:28:38,591 --> 01:28:40,232 That's my wife ! 931 01:28:44,082 --> 01:28:45,599 Turn into it! 932 01:28:45,755 --> 01:28:48,638 - Mama, stop! - Shall I take the wheel? 933 01:28:48,708 --> 01:28:51,091 I can't Solomon, no brakes ! 934 01:28:56,676 --> 01:29:00,074 What's that white smoke from the engine? 935 01:29:17,031 --> 01:29:19,705 My boat! My boat. 936 01:29:20,790 --> 01:29:22,470 Antoinette. 937 01:29:22,536 --> 01:29:24,521 You did that on purpose! 938 01:29:24,575 --> 01:29:26,036 My hat! 939 01:29:26,087 --> 01:29:28,548 My boat, gluglug... Your hat... 940 01:29:30,123 --> 01:29:32,022 Mademoiselle, allow me. 941 01:29:33,107 --> 01:29:34,829 Are you nuts? 942 01:29:34,949 --> 01:29:38,654 Papa, mama, don't start. Not today. 943 01:29:38,849 --> 01:29:41,287 Jacob!... It's him! 944 01:29:45,712 --> 01:29:47,220 Shalom. 945 01:29:55,841 --> 01:29:58,558 Pivert, what's this tribe? 946 01:29:58,636 --> 01:30:01,386 Tribe?! Those are my friends, the Schmolls. 947 01:30:01,448 --> 01:30:04,607 They invited me to synagogue so I invite them to church. 948 01:30:04,632 --> 01:30:08,271 - Gotcha, Pivert! - Well done! - Imbecile! 949 01:30:20,952 --> 01:30:22,882 Sabres... up! 950 01:30:41,492 --> 01:30:43,056 Mr president... 951 01:30:48,624 --> 01:30:50,257 *... 952 01:30:50,485 --> 01:30:53,309 In the name of the bonds that unite our countries, 953 01:30:53,388 --> 01:30:55,396 I'm glad to be the first to... 954 01:30:55,450 --> 01:30:58,990 - Slimane, in the name of the law, I arrest you. - Me? 955 01:30:59,075 --> 01:31:01,677 Now, there, you're making a gaffe. 956 01:31:01,779 --> 01:31:03,841 And, what a cock up! Haha... 957 01:31:03,950 --> 01:31:05,872 - You'll see. - Yes, we'll see. 958 01:31:05,935 --> 01:31:09,023 It's OK, Minister I collared them without incident. 959 01:31:09,088 --> 01:31:11,590 Release these men, imbecile! 960 01:31:12,281 --> 01:31:14,562 Of course, Minister. 961 01:31:15,852 --> 01:31:19,305 - Mr. President, excuse us, sir. - Ah, it's nothing. 962 01:31:19,360 --> 01:31:20,891 Hmm... you! 963 01:31:20,953 --> 01:31:23,227 Thank you, 'constable'. - 'Constable'? 964 01:31:23,303 --> 01:31:25,664 Because tomorrow... Trrrt ! 965 01:31:26,100 --> 01:31:27,833 Trrrt! 966 01:31:29,431 --> 01:31:31,145 ... Trrrt ! 967 01:31:51,164 --> 01:31:54,636 My veil! Can I have my veil back? 968 01:31:56,313 --> 01:31:57,939 No. 969 01:32:07,979 --> 01:32:09,856 Antoinette! 970 01:32:11,487 --> 01:32:15,281 Where's she off to? Antoinette, come back! 971 01:32:15,336 --> 01:32:18,431 See that, Minister? He's taking my daughter! 972 01:32:18,486 --> 01:32:20,844 He just takes her and zoom! 973 01:32:21,073 --> 01:32:23,540 Victor, she's gone mad. 974 01:32:23,618 --> 01:32:26,634 You can't let our daughter go off with a... a... 975 01:32:26,716 --> 01:32:31,532 A President of a Republic. My daughter will marry a President. 976 01:32:50,582 --> 01:32:52,449 *Mazel tov. 977 01:32:52,779 --> 01:32:58,196 Of course, tonight, you're coming to the bar mitzvah dinner? 978 01:32:58,306 --> 01:33:00,485 Listen, Rabbi Jacob, listen. 979 01:33:00,610 --> 01:33:02,900 I must confess. 980 01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:05,615 Voila... I'm not Jewish. 981 01:33:05,915 --> 01:33:09,945 Doesn't matter, Monsieur. We'll, keep you on anyway. 982 01:33:51,771 --> 01:33:56,808 ♪Eng subtitles, Asif Akheir Translations♪ XQ2☻♥