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...::Keeping Up with the Joneses (2016)::...
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I work
in human resources or "hr,"
as some people call it.
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And I have this poster
in my office that says,
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"keep calm
and go to your safe place."
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Well, when I get
a little stressed out
or my anxiety spikes,
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I close my eyes
and picture my cul-de-sac,
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and my wonderful wife,
Karen, and our two sons,
Patrick and Mikey.
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Because that's the place
where I know
everything is always okay.
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No matter what.
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- Bye, Mikey.
Bye, Patrick. Bye, you guys.
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Bye, guys.
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You can text us
the minute you get to camp.
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Yeah, okay.
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And if you get any ticks,
put it in
the plastic baggie...
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With the date and time
of the bite,
and I'll get them tested.
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-Change your socks. Okay,
guys? Change your socks.
-Okay.
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We love you. We love you.
We're gonna miss you.
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-Love you guys!
-Have so much fun!
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Be strong!
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Be strong.
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Oh.
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Did that bus driver
look sober to you, honey?
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Because he gave me
a really weird look
when I smelled his breath.
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Well, I think
you just startled him.
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Huh! Look, there's Meg.
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Hey, Meg.
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Whoo! I sold it.
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Oh!
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-That was so fast.
-Thank you,
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all cash buyers.
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All cash buyers?
That's fancy.
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Yeah. And the best part is,
they didn't even see it.
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They just saw
the pictures online.
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I haven't even
met them in person.
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-It's crazy.
-Who buys a house
without seeing it first?
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I know. Maybe
it's a celebrity,
you know?
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Come on, Jeff.
No celebrity
is gonna move here.
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I hope it's not
some kind of
meth lab situation.
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Oh. There he is.
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Sorry.
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Where have you been?
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Kinko's was bananas.
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It often is.
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-Hey.
-Hey.
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So exciting.
New neighbors, right?
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Oh, and Karen,
i left your card
in the foyer,
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-just in case
they want a decorator.
-Thank you.
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So, uh, did you tell
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Jeff about my new idea
for the guest bathroom?
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No.
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Artist's loft.
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Think Brooklyn, okay?
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Exposed brick,
visible plumbing. And...
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A urinal.
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A urinal!
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That's really for me.
Meg wants me
standin' up again.
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Well, I suppose
I'd better get started
on the urinal.
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Oh. Yeah, no.
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I know what
you're getting started on.
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--Empty house,
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kids are gone.
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Wow-chick-a-wow-wow!
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Please.
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Honeymoon.
-All right, keep it pg.
Keep it pg, guys.
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Well, we gotta go
flyer the subdivision anyway.
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We're gonna
pound the pavement.
Yeah.
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- Jeff, you should try it hyena style.
- -We'll try it.
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That's the noise I make.
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I think Meg has changed up
her medication, honey.
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- What's Dan's
excuse then?
-Ugh.
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Some of that stuff
they were saying
was demented.
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- Disgusting.
-Yeah.
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Phew!
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But maybe they have a point.
I don't know.
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Alone in the house.
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First time in a long time.
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Yeah, I mean,
we can do
whatever we want.
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I, uh, dvr-ed
the, uh, good wife.
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Great. I'll make popcorn.
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Back it up!
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- You got it.
- How much room I got?
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Almost there.
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Hey, Bernie.
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New neighbors
aren't wasting any time
moving in, are they?
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Nope.
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You're gonna clean that up,
right, berno?
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Always do.
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Okay, have a good one.
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Come on, guys.
Let's get outta here.
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Come on, fellas.
Let's go. Come on.
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Hi, Jack.
Good morning.
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Don't let anybody
say that to you
on a plane. "Hijack."
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Good morning, anyway.
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- Morning.
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-Morning, Jeff.
-Hi, Diane.
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Jeff, good morning.
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See those moving vans?
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Oh. Couldn't miss 'em.
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-Gosh!
-So,
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-any word
on the new neighbors?
-No.
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-Anything?
-Nothing.
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Guarantee they're no
Dave and Bridget.
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Well, at least
the summer's not
a total loss.
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I mean,
we got junetoberfest
to look forward to.
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-Yes, we do.
-And our jobs.
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Always have our jobs.
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By the way,
how's it going upstairs?
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Jesus, Jeff.
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You know I can't talk
about what we do upstairs.
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Yeah. I know.
It's all right.
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Uh... hey, oh, by the way,
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I still have those, uh,
indoor skydiving lessons
if you wanna join me.
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My treat.
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Uh, this week's
really hectic.
Kid stuff. But, maybe.
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Just text me.
Or I'll text you.
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Okay, we'll talk
about it later.
Have a good one.
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All right.
-Hey, Sheila. Good morning.
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Morning, Louise.
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Morning, Sharon.
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Hi, Jeff.
Dr. Fisher called.
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Oh, yeah?
What'd he say?
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He said,
"please tell Jeff
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to stop texting me
about indoor skydiving."
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Oh, he's joking.
He's a riot. Hey, Doug.
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Hey, Sanjay.
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Hey, uh, Jeff.
Can I use your computer?
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I need to reorder
my anti-depressants.
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Oh, of course.
Mi computer, su computer.
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Oh, this is Jeff.
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Are we getting written up?
'Cause I emailed
him last night
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and apologized.
He said he was fine.
And we have
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put this behind us.
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It's all fine.
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I wouldn't be doing my job
if we didn't go over
a couple of exercises, okay?
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So, grab a stress ball.
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Really?
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Okay, so, Margaret's
gonna show us, uh...
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The, uh, meaning of trust.
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Hey, Sanjay?
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Yeah?
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Did I tell you that I ate
at a Indian restaurant
the other night?
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Yeah, I had to call and make
an Indian reservation.
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Yang, tell oren
how he makes you feel.
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Maybe you should just
write us up.
That might be easier.
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I once knew an Indian
who drank so much tea,
he died in his "tea-pee."
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That was a good one.
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Okay, Margaret.
Go ahead.
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Wow.
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Yes, I do feel
like you are jealous.
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I can sense the resentment
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every time I bring up
gravitational perturbations.
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Is that bad? That sounds bad.
What is that?
Is that like, uh--
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gravitational
perturbations?
That's a laugh!
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Plus, what about my work?
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I mentioned,
i mentioned...
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- ...velocity vectors
one time...
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One time,
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and you try to get me
bumped down to dhameer's team?
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You were supposed
to calculate calculations...
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This is all because
i hooked up with sharada.
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You what?
You hooked up
with sharada ganjali?
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- I'll... I'll kill you!
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Oren, this is no way
to settle a workplace dispute!
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Sharon, call security!
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Hiya, Jeff!
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- Karen.
- Hey, honey!
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Hey, darling.
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- Still spying
on the neighbors?
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Hi, there.
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--Hello.
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You must be Jeff.
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I'm Tim. This is
my wife, Natalie.
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We're the joneses!
Nice to meet you, Jeff.
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00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,234
Nice to meet you guys.
Uh, that was a joke
about spying--
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it's a joke.
I'd never spy on anyone.
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- We love humor.
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Humor...
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00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,309
So, Natalie
was just telling me
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that she's a social media
consultant. Right?
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Yeah. I also write
a cooking blog.
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Oh, I love blogs.
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Yeah, and I work
with a charity
for Sri lankan orphans.
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Those are
my biggest passions.
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00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,723
Natalie's got a big heart.
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Aw, thank you, baby.
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00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,095
Yeah, um...
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00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,930
-Karen, why don't you
tell them about, uh...
-What?
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She has passions too.
Why don't you tell them
about the urinal?
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What? No, honey!
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00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,869
-It's nothing.
-Oh, no, please.
It sounds interesting.
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00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,371
Oh...
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00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:42,273
I'm picking up
a slight accent.
Is that Pittsburgh, maybe?
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00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,743
- She's from Greece.
-Oh, god.
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00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,144
No, but
we've lived all over.
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And now, it's finally time
to plant some roots. Right?
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00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:50,749
Oh...
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00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,817
I can't tell you
how excited we are
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00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,786
to be here on maple circle.
199
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:55,987
Such a lovely street.
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00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,122
It really is.
-Oh.
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00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,690
-Thank you.
-We love it.
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00:10:58,692 --> 00:10:59,891
It's fascinating.
In other cultures,
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they don't have
anything like this.
204
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,194
No. No, they don't.
205
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,430
In Chinese, for example.
They don't even have a word
for a street like this.
206
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:06,765
What? For cul-de-sac?
207
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:06,765
No. No.
208
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:10,835
I mean, they would say...
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00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,237
Which is, loosely,
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00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,072
"happy place
of heart and mind."
211
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:17,342
-Right.
-But it doesn't really capture
the essence of it, right?
212
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,943
But it's cool
coming out of your mouth.
213
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,980
-Tim's a travel writer.
-Oh, really?
214
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,915
-Wow! We love to travel.
-We do.
215
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:27,285
Yeah. We went
to epcot center last summer.
Was it? Yeah.
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00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:30,355
You can go to every country,
like, within three blocks.
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00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,223
Perfect! That's what
we like about it.
218
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,925
We went with the boys
over there.
219
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,293
Yeah, that's Patrick
and Mikey. Patrick's leaning
220
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,995
against the wheel.
He's just a real cuddler.
221
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,130
-Oh, they're beautiful.
-Adorable.
222
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,099
--Mikey, uh, made this.
223
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,801
-Oh, wow!
-What a talent!
224
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,804
-Speaking of which,
we brought you...
-Yes, yes.
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00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,472
-...a little something.
-Oh!
226
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:48,807
What?
227
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,810
-That's amazing! Really?
-Give me a break!
228
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:51,810
I made it myself.
229
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,312
You made it yourself?
-Mm-hmm.
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00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,215
Oh...
231
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,883
Wow. Look at this.
232
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,051
-What is this?
-What is that?
233
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,019
A sculpture.
234
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,487
Tim blows his own glass.
235
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,255
Look at it
in the light, honey.
It sort of--
236
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,224
-that's gorgeous.
Look at that.
-Gorgeous.
237
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,492
-You made that?
-Yeah,
238
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:07,492
it's a hobby
i picked up in Hungary.
239
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:13,465
I wrote an article about
this, uh, Hungarian
glass-blowing master, yorgi.
240
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:15,433
Oh. Thank you.
I don't know what to say.
241
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,367
Oh, you don't need to
say anything.
242
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,203
Just put it right there
243
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,904
and, uh, use it
as a conversation piece.
244
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,906
-That's cool.
Thank you very, very much!
-Thank you.
245
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,908
-Anyway, we should get going.
-Yeah.
246
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,810
-Yeah. We should.
-Oh. Okay.
247
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,946
Uh...
248
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,314
God, I feel like I should give
you guys a gift. I didn't know
we were giving gifts.
249
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,082
-That's not necessary.
-You want a stress ball?
250
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,417
No, you don't want
a stress ball.
That would be stupid.
251
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:32,417
I would love
a stress ball.
252
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,120
- Thank you.
- Yes! They really work.
253
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:35,120
- Oh, thank you.
254
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:38,223
-Let me just get this
out of your way.
-No, Jeff will get that.
255
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:39,491
-Oh, no, no, no.
-That's nice.
256
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:41,326
It's all good.
We're neighbors now.
257
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:41,326
Right?
258
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:48,032
Have you guys ever, uh,
been to or heard of,
uh, junetoberfest?
259
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,901
- Junetoberfest?
- Yeah.
260
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:51,302
You guys
should really come.
261
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,371
It's our annual
summer get-together.
262
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,273
The whole neighborhood comes.
A really fun group.
263
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,508
A lot of us
work together.
264
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:56,508
Oh. At mbi?
265
00:12:56,510 --> 00:13:01,780
Yeah. We have
a dart, uh, tournament.
We have bratwurst.
266
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,448
I make my own home brew,
which is my passion.
267
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,783
-Good!
-Huh.
268
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,184
How'd you know
that Jeff works at mbi?
269
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,318
Hmm?
270
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,320
Jeff must've mentioned it.
Right, Jeff?
271
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,322
-No. No, he didn't.
-Oh, that's okay, honey--
272
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,558
no, Jeff didn't
mention it. Uh...
273
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,395
- The stress ball.
Must've been
a lucky guess, I guess.
274
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,264
No, it's right there.
Yeah, lucky guess.
Yeah, we should go.
275
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,966
It's getting late.
Thank you so much
for everything.
276
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,835
The coffee was delicious.
277
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,037
Thank you.
-And we'll see you
at junetoberfest!
278
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,577
So, let me
show you a picture.
This is Tyler.
279
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,846
And Tyler's gonna go
to asthma camp this summer.
280
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:37,015
Oh, my god!
He's so handsome!
281
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,222
-Hiya, neighbor.
-Hey.
282
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,858
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
"Seared yellowtail
283
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,527
with lemon zest
and ginger shavings."
Who the hell made this?
284
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,163
Natalie.
Apparently,
she can do everything.
285
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,966
I'm sorry,
but who wears that
to a barbecue?
286
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,201
I mean,
there are kids here.
287
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,203
Come on, Meg.
It's just a summer dress.
288
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:03,908
It's a very short,
very chic... extremely
flattering summer dress.
289
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,510
Yeah, well,
it's pornographic.
290
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:05,977
Oh.
291
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,914
Look at Dan pretending
to check his email.
292
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:14,385
If I find pictures
of her ass on his phone,
bj night is canceled.
293
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:15,253
So, anyway, there I am,
294
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:19,257
alone, in the middle
of the empty quarter,
all by myself,
295
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,860
with no water,
dying of thirst.
I'm literally
296
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,528
writing a goodbye letter
297
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,029
-to Natalie.
-Oh.
298
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,098
And what do I see
coming up over the horizon?
299
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,534
- But the exact same camel...
300
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,903
-Whose life I saved
three years earlier.
-No!
301
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,605
-Exact same one.
-Did he remember you?
302
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:36,374
No. No, Jeff.
He didn't remember me.
He's a camel.
303
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,577
But I was able
to ride him into civilization.
304
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,347
And I filed my story,
with 15 minutes to spare,
thank you very much.
305
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,481
Caught the next flight
to marrakesh
306
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:43,481
and was sitting
in a caf� with Natalie
307
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:46,551
- smoking hookah
later that night.
308
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,287
No way!
-I wanna smoke
a hookah in marrakesh.
309
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:49,287
Yeah.
310
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:52,090
Well, Stacey,
i know it sounds
very romantic.
311
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,491
But, trust me,
312
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,960
the world can be
a very dark
and disturbing place.
313
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:57,362
Tim, you want a beer?
314
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,330
Uh, sure. Yeah. Thank you.
315
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,065
- Here you go.
-Ooh. There it is.
316
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,604
Mmm.
317
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:10,475
Wow, good job--
ooh, ooh, ooh! Buddy, buddy.
Yeah, buddy. Wow!
318
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,343
- That is a lot of blood.
It's fine. It's fine.
It's okay.
319
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,378
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
320
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:13,378
It's just gushing a bit.
321
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:13,378
- Just hold on to that.
- Oh, yes.
322
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,948
Give me this.
Give me this.
323
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:16,948
- It's sprung a leak.
- Just, just...
324
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:20,218
-I feel a little bit
light-headed.
-Close your hand around it.
325
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:20,218
-If I could just maybe--
-no, no, no, no, no!
326
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:24,055
You can't rattle me.
327
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:27,425
Witness...
Witness my destiny.
328
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:31,429
Neighborhood champ,
five years in a row!
329
00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:34,699
Hey! You wanna
give it a try?
330
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,000
-Me?
-Yeah!
331
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,236
No,
332
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,370
-I'll only embarrass myself.
-"No" is not an answer.
333
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,571
Come on.
It's so easy.
334
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,607
-It's a bad idea.
-Look, I'll even show you
335
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,143
the famous
craverston grip. Okay?
336
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,611
-All right.
-Put that in your hand.
337
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,479
Now hold it like a pencil.
338
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,214
Now cock your wrist.
339
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:51,950
-Right.
-Good, good. Elbow out.
340
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,351
And then you just
kinda throw at it.
341
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,285
Like this?
342
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,654
This is good?
343
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:56,654
Uh, well,
344
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,691
you kinda throw
like a girl.
345
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:02,627
But when a girl
is as beautiful as you,
she doesn't have to be good.
346
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:08,333
Do you mind if I skip
the craverston grip?
347
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,134
Okay, good luck.
348
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:27,151
Oh, my god!
Look at that!
349
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,122
Maybe I should show you
how to throw like a girl.
350
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,098
Suck on that, craverston.
351
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,233
Shut up, oren.
352
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,234
Where's your girlfriend?
353
00:16:59,752 --> 00:16:59,751
Tim.
354
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:03,755
Oh, hey, Karen.
I was just looking
for the bathroom.
355
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,257
You were in Jeff's den.
356
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:10,094
Yeah. I must've made
a wrong turn. Um...
357
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,497
Lovely place you have here,
by the way.
You have a great eye.
358
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,133
-Thank you.
-Was that your design work
i saw downstairs?
359
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,769
Jeff had mentioned something
about, uh, urinals.
360
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:20,371
Yes. Oh, well,
the customer's always right.
361
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,440
- But, yeah,
they are my drawings.
362
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:25,109
- Customer's always right.
Except when they're not.
363
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:28,079
-Oh, the bathroom's
that way, Tim.
-No, thank you, I'm fine.
364
00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:46,064
That was one of the best
junetoberfests
365
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:49,100
we have ever,
ever had.
366
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,335
Have you ever seen
a couple move into
a neighborhood
367
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,671
so nicely as the joneses?
368
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,240
You don't you think
there's something off
about them?
369
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,575
I mean, they're so overly
370
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,544
accomplished, and stylish
371
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,746
and affectionate
with one another.
372
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:03,181
Why would
they wanna live here?
373
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:07,218
Karen, they told you,
they wanna settle down.
374
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,653
You know that he was
in your den today?
375
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,154
Yeah, so?
376
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:13,491
So, he can navigate
the bazaars of marrakesh,
377
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:16,794
but he gets "lost upstairs"
looking for a bathroom?
378
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,629
Karen, let me tell you
something I learned
years ago.
379
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,698
When people have to poop,
380
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,233
they get embarrassed.
381
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,535
As do I, sometimes.
382
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,537
Really? You think
he had to poop?
383
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,739
Probably. Yes!
384
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:32,343
You know, if the joneses seem
a little bit more affectionate
than we do, it's because
385
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,879
they haven't had
to mute their passions
the way we have
386
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,714
'cause the kids
have been around.
387
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,851
But now, it's our time.
It's our summer.
Watch my hand there.
388
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:43,821
And I think it's time
to get busy sexually.
389
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,757
It tickles, honey.
Honey!
390
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,226
-Honey, I know we said
every second...
-Come on!
391
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,694
Look at the time.
Look how late it is.
392
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,263
It's traditional
gaffney foreplay.
Let me just do it.
393
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,398
Come on, baby.
Come on.
394
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,501
I'm so tired.
But I pick up on things.
395
00:18:56,503 --> 00:19:00,371
I was the one who noticed
when the mcnultys were
pirating the yamamotos' cable.
396
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:05,610
Yes, and intuition
is a wonderful thing.
397
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:09,180
And take it from me,
somebody who has had
16 years
398
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,682
of human resource experience,
399
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:16,554
that the joneses
are perfectly nice,
normal, everyday people.
400
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,265
I didn't know what to do.
401
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:31,736
Smoke blows from the car,
you know, uh?
So I figured
402
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,404
Americans are
really good with car...
403
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,841
- Oh, you strong man!
404
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:36,841
So you can help me out?
405
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:41,179
-Absolutely. You came
to the right guys.
-Yeah.
406
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,915
- We Americans are good
at a lot of things.
407
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:27,418
Jeff!
408
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,491
Jeff, wake up!
409
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:11,595
Who are you,
Tim Jones?
410
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,618
Sorry.
411
00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:36,854
Neighbor!
412
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,789
-Hey, Jeff. This--
-oh, my goodness.
413
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:40,358
This is embarrassing.
414
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,727
Well, it happens.
Jeepers, let me help you.
415
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,395
-Here you go.
-Thanks.
416
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:45,830
What are you doing here?
417
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:49,367
I found your love
of home brewing...
Contagious.
418
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,102
And I figured
i could use a hobby.
419
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:52,036
Instead of glass blowing?
420
00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:55,439
Right. Besides that.
Besides that.
421
00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:57,808
I mean, it's a cool hobby,
but it's probably
not as manly as you'd like.
422
00:22:58,910 --> 00:23:01,011
Hey, ed.
423
00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:02,880
Set my friend up here.
424
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,015
He's gonna need
some wort chillers,
probably need some fizz drops.
425
00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,484
- Give him some yeast.
- You're the expert.
426
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:08,018
-Yup.
-Don't let that yeast
get infected.
427
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,487
-Okay.
-I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
428
00:23:09,489 --> 00:23:10,788
It's a joke.
It's a yeast infection joke.
429
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,690
Expensive hobby.
430
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:14,058
It's more
of a calling, Tim.
431
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:16,660
Hey, are you hungry?
432
00:23:16,662 --> 00:23:18,062
I'm famished!
433
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:19,563
You like Chinese?
434
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:20,564
The food?
435
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:22,733
Yeah.
436
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,742
Ah...
437
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:33,077
Come on!
438
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:48,893
Spy force, on.
439
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:17,154
I am leaving
this message in case
anything happens to me.
440
00:24:17,156 --> 00:24:20,591
I'm following Natalie Jones
who I have good reason
to believe--
441
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:21,826
calling Natalie Jones.
442
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:22,760
- No!
443
00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:24,195
--No!
444
00:24:24,197 --> 00:24:26,096
--No, no, no!
445
00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:27,198
--Ugh!
446
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,732
Siri!
447
00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:36,707
Oh, thank you.
448
00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,710
Have a nice day.
449
00:24:48,587 --> 00:24:49,887
How's the book?
450
00:24:51,556 --> 00:24:52,656
Interesting.
451
00:25:21,787 --> 00:25:23,153
Hi, there! Nice to see you.
Yes, indeed.
452
00:25:23,155 --> 00:25:24,989
That's is my friend,
that's is my friend, Jeff.
453
00:25:24,991 --> 00:25:26,924
This is Mr. and Mrs. lu. Okay.
454
00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:28,526
All right, yeah,
we're gonna go on back.
455
00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:29,927
--I know, I know!
456
00:25:29,929 --> 00:25:31,862
I feel like I've been
putting on
a little too much.
457
00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:34,798
Thank you. Uh, come on
back here, Jeff. Thank you.
458
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,901
Um...
459
00:25:36,903 --> 00:25:39,837
I'm doing a little piece on,
sort of, hidden gems
around the city.
460
00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:41,238
-Now, that place is good...
-Yeah?
461
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,574
...but this place is great.
462
00:25:43,576 --> 00:25:45,009
-Come on, follow me.
-Ooh!
463
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:45,009
It's good to get out of
the cul-de-sac
every now and again.
464
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:48,846
-Well, it is, yeah.
I mean, I love my cul-de-sac.
-There he is.
465
00:25:48,848 --> 00:25:50,748
I knew I felt
your presence, man!
466
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:51,815
-What's up, brother?
-How are you, pal?
467
00:25:51,817 --> 00:25:52,983
This is my friend, Jeff.
468
00:25:52,985 --> 00:25:54,318
Jeff, this is Ricky.
He owns the place.
469
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:55,753
-Hi, Ricky, how are you?
Nice to...
-What's up, Jeff?
470
00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:57,788
You don't have to bow down.
Don't be shy.
471
00:25:57,790 --> 00:26:00,090
Come on in, man.
This guy's stiff!
472
00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:02,893
Welcome to the cobra club.
473
00:26:06,798 --> 00:26:08,832
Well, now, this is
Jeff's first time. So...
474
00:26:08,834 --> 00:26:11,635
Oh, don't worry. We'll take
good care of him, man.
475
00:26:11,637 --> 00:26:11,635
Where do you want us?
476
00:26:11,637 --> 00:26:15,105
Right there, man.
Thank you.
Oh, I'll take a shejiu.
477
00:26:15,107 --> 00:26:16,340
- One?
- Yup.
478
00:26:16,342 --> 00:26:17,341
Yeah. Two.
-Two?
479
00:26:17,343 --> 00:26:18,609
Yeah. Whatever he's having.
480
00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:21,045
Two shejius coming up.
481
00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:23,314
So? A little different
than you were expecting, huh?
482
00:26:23,316 --> 00:26:26,116
I gotta tell you. Spice and i
don't sit very well together.
483
00:26:26,118 --> 00:26:30,087
There's certain ramifications
the next day, you know,
toilet-wise, but--
484
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,922
this is not that,
485
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,892
-okay.
-Okay? It's not spicy,
but this is the real stuff.
486
00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:34,892
Oh, I'm ready.
487
00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:37,728
Actually, it reminds me
of when I went kayaking
488
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,964
down the Pearl river
to zhongshan.
489
00:26:39,966 --> 00:26:42,733
It's just beautiful.
A lot of places,
490
00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:44,034
just like this.
491
00:26:44,036 --> 00:26:46,136
You have a fascinating job.
492
00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:48,839
-Oh, come on.
So do you, Jeff.
-Yes.
493
00:26:48,841 --> 00:26:50,608
I mean, I'm sure you could
tell me some stories, right?
494
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:53,177
Yeah. I could tell you
some stories to make
your skin crawl.
495
00:26:53,179 --> 00:26:55,079
But I'm in hr.
496
00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:57,014
There's a certain wall
of secrecy around me, so...
497
00:26:57,016 --> 00:26:58,916
You could tell me,
but you'd have to kill me.
498
00:27:00,852 --> 00:27:02,753
I'd probably just
get in trouble from corporate.
499
00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:04,922
No, you wouldn't
actually kill me. It's just
an expression, Jeff.
500
00:27:04,924 --> 00:27:06,924
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
501
00:27:06,926 --> 00:27:06,924
-Here we go. All right.
-Okay.
502
00:27:06,926 --> 00:27:12,630
- Look at all these little
ethnic condiments. So cool.
That is...
503
00:27:12,632 --> 00:27:13,931
-Soy sauce.
-Soy sauce.
504
00:27:13,933 --> 00:27:14,898
Try this.
505
00:27:14,900 --> 00:27:16,133
Mmm?
506
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:17,267
Okay.
507
00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:20,104
Mmm...
508
00:27:20,106 --> 00:27:22,640
Wow! That's good!
509
00:27:22,642 --> 00:27:23,941
What is that?
That looks like a snake.
510
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:25,342
Shejiu, man.
511
00:27:25,344 --> 00:27:26,810
Snake wine.
512
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,846
That's real cobra.
513
00:27:28,848 --> 00:27:30,381
The alcohol neutralizes
most of the venom.
514
00:27:30,383 --> 00:27:32,149
Yeah, in guangdong,
the old dudes say
515
00:27:32,151 --> 00:27:35,219
you drink snake wine,
makes your sack
hang real low, man.
516
00:27:35,221 --> 00:27:37,221
- Does it?
517
00:27:37,223 --> 00:27:39,189
Uh, do you have a
Arnold Palmer by chance?
518
00:27:41,426 --> 00:27:42,926
You guys want to hear
about tonight's offering?
519
00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:45,195
Yes. Show us
what you got.
Thank you.
520
00:27:47,265 --> 00:27:48,766
Where did you
find this place? Yelp?
521
00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:50,901
It's my job to find
places like this.
522
00:27:50,903 --> 00:27:54,004
I talk to people, I go places.
And when I find a place
that I like,
523
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,673
I like to share it
with people I like.
524
00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:58,175
Shejiu! Okay,
that's a live snake!
525
00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,010
Yes, Jeff.
It's a snake restaurant.
526
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:02,813
Yeah, but panda express,
they don't serve panda.
527
00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:05,182
Do they?
528
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:07,418
They call this
"the 100-pace viper,"
529
00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:10,320
because if it bites you,
that's how far you're
gonna get, man.
530
00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:11,889
- Is that true?
- No!
531
00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,390
It's not true.
532
00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:14,858
It's actually probably closer
to 50 paces,
533
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,894
-honestly. It's very potent.
-Pretty bad, man.
534
00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:19,830
I'm afraid of snakes.
I'll eat 'em.
But, I'm so sorry.
535
00:28:19,832 --> 00:28:21,799
Ricky knows what he's doing.
He's very good at his job.
536
00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:24,301
Come on, sit down, okay?
Just let him do his thing.
537
00:28:24,303 --> 00:28:25,436
-Yes.
-You're in good hands.
538
00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:27,204
- Yes.
- Okay? Trust me.
539
00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:31,175
You're gonna wanna keep
your hands away from the head,
540
00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:34,144
'cause it can actually
still bite you.
So, just be very careful.
541
00:28:34,146 --> 00:28:35,713
Can I have
a vegetable spring roll?
542
00:28:35,715 --> 00:28:37,181
Buddy...
543
00:28:37,183 --> 00:28:38,716
You're gonna be
just fine. Here.
544
00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,017
-A little more of that.
-Yeah.
545
00:28:40,019 --> 00:28:41,151
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay? This is good.
546
00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:47,958
- We might need
another bottle of this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
547
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,927
Let's go ahead
and get loosened up.
548
00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:52,029
Yeah. Snake it up.
-Yeah.
549
00:28:57,302 --> 00:29:00,204
One second.
That's Karen. Hello?
550
00:29:00,206 --> 00:29:02,473
Remember
i told you something
was off about the joneses?
551
00:29:02,475 --> 00:29:04,308
Well, my instincts
were right.
552
00:29:04,310 --> 00:29:04,308
I just followed Natalie
to the mall...
553
00:29:04,310 --> 00:29:07,478
--...and I have
two words for you.
554
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,179
Sarah Palin.
555
00:29:09,948 --> 00:29:09,947
And guess what?
556
00:29:09,949 --> 00:29:12,950
There is a Chinese word
for cul-de-sac.
557
00:29:12,952 --> 00:29:14,318
It's...
558
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,820
I'm sorry, I'm having
a hard time hearing you.
559
00:29:16,822 --> 00:29:19,456
The point is, the joneses
are not who they say they are.
560
00:29:24,497 --> 00:29:26,163
Okay. Hold on.
I'm sorry.
561
00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:31,802
Karen, I'm-I'm actually,
uh, lunching with,
uh, Tim right now.
562
00:29:31,804 --> 00:29:34,104
There's nothing weird
going on whatsoever.
563
00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:35,973
- I think...
564
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,342
I think
you're just sublimating
your anxiety about the kids.
565
00:29:38,344 --> 00:29:40,844
You're having insecurities
about, you know, your career--
566
00:29:40,846 --> 00:29:42,246
don't even begin to go there!
567
00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:44,114
I don't throw your man crush
in your face.
568
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:45,983
I don't have a man crush!
569
00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:47,251
I don't have a man crush.
570
00:29:47,253 --> 00:29:50,120
I had it once in my life,
when I was a boy.
571
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:52,089
You mean Bruce?
-She likes to be
called Caitlyn.
572
00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:20,317
No, no, no,
you're absolutely right.
573
00:30:22,086 --> 00:30:23,053
Hello, Karen.
574
00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:24,054
Natalie!
575
00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:25,923
What a surprise!
576
00:30:25,925 --> 00:30:28,025
Um, uh--
you've got no clothes on.
You're on the phone.
577
00:30:28,027 --> 00:30:29,560
I'm gonna go.
578
00:30:30,562 --> 00:30:32,296
To be continued.
579
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,301
I was just leaving Tim
a voice mail.
580
00:30:37,303 --> 00:30:38,902
Oh.
581
00:30:38,904 --> 00:30:40,904
He likes to hear from me
when I'm trying on lingerie.
582
00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:45,242
I tell him what
I'm putting on, how it looks.
583
00:30:47,278 --> 00:30:49,179
How it makes me feel.
584
00:30:49,181 --> 00:30:50,848
It looks great!
I'm sure he...
585
00:30:50,850 --> 00:30:52,216
I'm sure he's happy
to know that.
586
00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:54,184
Tell him from me.
587
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,086
Yeah, it's one of our things.
588
00:30:56,088 --> 00:30:58,589
Keeps the spark alive.
589
00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:00,624
Do you and Jeff
have a thing?
590
00:31:00,626 --> 00:31:03,427
Yes, Jeff and i
have a thing.
591
00:31:03,429 --> 00:31:05,929
We, uh...
592
00:31:05,931 --> 00:31:08,899
We do it really fast in case
the kids come running
into our room.
593
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:13,203
Sounds like
you're very sexual people.
594
00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:15,138
But your kids are gone,
aren't they?
595
00:31:15,140 --> 00:31:16,907
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
596
00:31:16,909 --> 00:31:19,509
Time for something new.
Is that why
you're buying lingerie?
597
00:31:20,078 --> 00:31:22,346
Uh, yes.
598
00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:24,314
Let's see what
you decided on.
599
00:31:24,316 --> 00:31:26,116
Oh, no. I mean, I just--
600
00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:26,116
it's just stuff.
601
00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:29,086
Come on. Show me
what you think is sexy.
602
00:31:30,221 --> 00:31:32,122
They're for Jeff's mom.
603
00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:33,624
She's morbidly obese actually.
She drives around
on a little scooter.
604
00:31:33,626 --> 00:31:35,259
- I feel really bad for...
605
00:31:36,327 --> 00:31:38,028
Let's be real
with one another, okay?
606
00:31:39,998 --> 00:31:42,199
And he's dating
Sheila rondowski,
607
00:31:42,201 --> 00:31:44,067
I think is her name,
on the sly,
608
00:31:44,069 --> 00:31:45,936
which is a big no-no,
'cause she's his superior.
609
00:31:45,938 --> 00:31:47,170
Sure.
610
00:31:47,172 --> 00:31:48,572
This stuff is so good, Tim.
It's delicious.
611
00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:50,407
-Didn't I tell you?
-Mm-hmm.
612
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,342
I tell ya... listen.
613
00:31:52,344 --> 00:31:54,077
It is impressive
how people open up to you.
614
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:56,179
-They tell you a lot.
-They do.
615
00:31:56,181 --> 00:31:58,048
It sounds like
they complain a lot, but...
616
00:31:58,050 --> 00:32:00,684
Oh, gosh!
It comes with the territory.
I'm fine with it. But, yes.
617
00:32:00,686 --> 00:32:00,684
Let me ask you this.
618
00:32:00,686 --> 00:32:05,255
Does anybody ever say
to you in confidence
619
00:32:06,324 --> 00:32:07,624
how much
they hate the company?
620
00:32:07,626 --> 00:32:09,493
Ricky, let's get
some more wine!
621
00:32:09,495 --> 00:32:11,495
Hold a grudge?
Anything like that?
622
00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:14,564
Sara patel, she has
irritable bowel syndro--
623
00:32:14,566 --> 00:32:16,967
excuse me. She has
irritable bowel syndrome.
624
00:32:16,969 --> 00:32:19,403
There's a lot
of co-workers, too,
that sit near the bathroom.
625
00:32:19,405 --> 00:32:21,505
Sometimes, we're all irritated
by your bowels, Sara.
626
00:32:21,507 --> 00:32:23,273
Everybody on the
fourth floor knows.
627
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:24,474
Yeah, but that's not
what I'm talking about.
628
00:32:24,476 --> 00:32:26,410
Is there ever a situation
where somebody seems
629
00:32:26,412 --> 00:32:26,410
like they came into
a lot of money,
630
00:32:26,412 --> 00:32:30,447
or they, you know,
they bought a new car
or new clothes?
631
00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:32,049
-Looks like they won
the lottery?
-Yes.
632
00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:33,383
-Or hit the jackpot?
-Yeah, yeah.
633
00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:35,452
-Yeah? Who's that?
-Sanjay. He bought a grillbot.
634
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:36,586
What's that?
635
00:32:39,524 --> 00:32:41,158
That's the guy I work with.
His name's Sanjay.
636
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,727
No, I know what Sanjay is.
What's, what's a grillbot?
637
00:32:43,729 --> 00:32:46,463
Oh, grillbot is like--
i-it's just a, um...
638
00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:49,599
It's just a--
what it is, is a robot that
cleans your barbecue grill.
639
00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:51,668
You just kind of put it
in your grill,
you shut the lid,
640
00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:55,372
and it just kind of ruminates
in there and gets all
the little coal pieces,
641
00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:58,241
the little icky pieces up.
And it's, you know,
spick and span!
642
00:32:58,243 --> 00:33:00,610
It's like a Roomba
for your grill.
643
00:33:00,612 --> 00:33:04,247
I'm thinking
more of like the--
like, like... more expensive.
644
00:33:04,249 --> 00:33:06,750
These are $99, Tim.
Expensive stuff.
645
00:33:06,752 --> 00:33:08,585
Right.
646
00:33:08,587 --> 00:33:10,420
But you gotta make sure
the grill's off.
Sanjay didn't do that.
647
00:33:10,422 --> 00:33:12,389
Are we, are we done talking
about the grillbot?
648
00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:14,057
-If you're not gonna eat this,
I'm gonna eat this.
-Yep.
649
00:33:14,059 --> 00:33:15,993
No, no, no, go ahead.
Take what you like.
650
00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:20,564
The thing is, is he voided
the warranty on the grillbot
and the grill.
651
00:33:21,499 --> 00:33:24,134
Jesus, Jeff! Ricky!
652
00:33:24,136 --> 00:33:25,535
Oh, god! Put it down.
Put it down, put it down.
Ricky!
653
00:33:25,537 --> 00:33:27,404
Oh, man! I've never
seen that before.
654
00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:28,605
Go find the,
the shot!
655
00:33:28,607 --> 00:33:30,040
The antivenom.
Go get it!
656
00:33:30,042 --> 00:33:30,040
Hey, little buddy!
657
00:33:30,042 --> 00:33:34,044
Oh, my god. No, no, no, no.
No, no. Hey.
658
00:33:34,046 --> 00:33:34,044
He's snackin' on my hand.
659
00:33:34,046 --> 00:33:36,580
Look at me! Look at me!
Look at me! Look at me!
660
00:33:36,582 --> 00:33:38,015
All right. Get it out!
661
00:33:38,017 --> 00:33:40,550
We're all gonna
have to have a relationship.
662
00:33:40,552 --> 00:33:43,754
Hold on. We're gonna get
the antivenom, okay, Jeff?
Hold on a second.
663
00:33:43,756 --> 00:33:45,756
You got it? All right.
Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
664
00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:50,093
How does that feel,
buddy? Huh?
How does that feel?
665
00:33:52,597 --> 00:33:54,531
That's good.
666
00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:57,100
Now this would be
incredible on you.
667
00:33:57,102 --> 00:33:58,502
Perfect, I'll take it.
668
00:33:59,437 --> 00:33:59,436
You're not being fun, Karen.
669
00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:05,642
Now, I want you to forget
everything you heard about
functional breast support.
670
00:34:06,779 --> 00:34:08,311
Why are you so nervous?
671
00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:11,448
Hmm?
672
00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:14,451
Is it because
we're two women trying on
lingerie together?
673
00:34:16,421 --> 00:34:19,089
Or because I know
you were following me today?
674
00:34:19,091 --> 00:34:21,391
I wasn't following.
What? No! No!
675
00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:24,227
I was at the mall.
I was shopping. I wonder
if they have this in yellow.
676
00:34:24,229 --> 00:34:26,396
-You know, Jeff's
favorite color is yellow.
-I'm not stupid, Karen.
677
00:34:27,331 --> 00:34:29,766
And you're right
to follow me.
678
00:34:29,768 --> 00:34:32,736
To be thinking that this woman
is not who she pretends to be.
679
00:34:34,372 --> 00:34:36,239
Because I'm hiding something.
680
00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:37,774
You are?
681
00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:40,544
So are you.
682
00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:44,314
We're so alike, you and I.
683
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:46,783
Two strong,
sexually vibrant women.
684
00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:49,119
And yet, here we are.
685
00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:53,090
Forced to bury our true selves
from the Meg craverstons
of the world.
686
00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:54,791
What's Meg got to do
with this?
687
00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,560
Oh, come on, Karen.
688
00:34:56,562 --> 00:34:59,096
I hear the way
she talks about me when
she thinks I'm not looking.
689
00:34:59,098 --> 00:35:01,465
Hating me for the way
i look, as if,
690
00:35:01,467 --> 00:35:05,402
as if perfect bone structure
and flawless skin
is something I can help!
691
00:35:05,404 --> 00:35:09,806
I may not need to moisturize,
but I still have feelings.
692
00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:14,711
I didn't know
about the feelings.
693
00:35:14,713 --> 00:35:19,382
That's why women like us need
to stick together. Not follow
each other in malls.
694
00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:21,751
Do you kegel?
695
00:35:22,353 --> 00:35:22,352
-Kegel?
-Mm-hmm.
696
00:35:22,354 --> 00:35:25,755
-You mean the exercises
for the lady parts?
-Mm-hmm.
697
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:27,891
Strength has
to start somewhere.
698
00:35:27,893 --> 00:35:30,427
Oh, not--
i don't.
699
00:35:32,397 --> 00:35:35,265
In fact, I'm doing
some right now.
700
00:35:37,235 --> 00:35:40,704
I could crack a walnut
down there, if I needed to.
701
00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:42,772
Have you ever
had any need to?
702
00:35:42,774 --> 00:35:43,840
Now you go.
703
00:35:45,543 --> 00:35:48,311
-I couldn't crack
anything down there.
-Are we still hiding?
704
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:52,215
Come on, Karen.
Just... channel your power.
705
00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:53,416
Okay. I'll do it.
I'll try.
706
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:02,359
I did it! I felt it!
707
00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:03,627
How was that?
708
00:36:04,328 --> 00:36:05,428
Work in progress!
709
00:36:05,430 --> 00:36:07,597
Now, you have a choice.
710
00:36:10,401 --> 00:36:11,835
Which Karen
do you wanna be?
711
00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:14,538
Karen, the meek?
712
00:36:17,475 --> 00:36:18,942
Or Karen, the strong?
713
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,413
-Sure you're okay?
-I'm okay. Yeah.
714
00:36:24,582 --> 00:36:25,749
You saved my life.
715
00:36:27,652 --> 00:36:28,885
And that was some
good snake.
716
00:36:30,321 --> 00:36:31,588
I'm embarrassed though.
717
00:36:32,623 --> 00:36:34,224
Little drunk.
718
00:36:34,226 --> 00:36:36,359
You had me worried there
for a second.
719
00:36:36,361 --> 00:36:37,761
Get yourself cleaned up.
I'll get the check.
720
00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,330
I know what you're doing, Tim.
721
00:36:42,668 --> 00:36:44,301
What am I doing, Jeff?
722
00:36:44,303 --> 00:36:46,803
Well, I read people
for a living.
That's what I do.
723
00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:50,840
And you know, you get me drunk
on snake wine and get me
to open up
724
00:36:50,842 --> 00:36:51,875
and tell you secrets.
725
00:36:53,578 --> 00:36:54,778
You...
726
00:36:55,947 --> 00:36:57,948
Are trying to make a friend.
727
00:37:01,252 --> 00:37:01,251
I got a lot of friends, Jeff.
728
00:37:01,253 --> 00:37:05,722
Yeah, but you have
a lot of secrets
locked inside of you.
729
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:08,792
And I think that's why you
might be one of the loneliest
guys I've ever met.
730
00:37:10,962 --> 00:37:13,697
Now, what do you have
to say about that?
731
00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:16,967
You wanna know
something about me?
732
00:37:21,405 --> 00:37:23,907
Sometimes I hate
what I do for a living.
733
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:25,408
Ah...
734
00:37:26,344 --> 00:37:28,245
But doesn't that feel good?
735
00:37:28,247 --> 00:37:29,980
To express yourself?
736
00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:38,388
Is this
us bonding now?
737
00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:39,556
No, this is us talking.
738
00:37:39,558 --> 00:37:41,591
You want bonding?
I'll show you bonding.
739
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,361
You're gonna look at me.
I'm gonna button you up.
740
00:37:44,363 --> 00:37:47,264
Okay. Okay. That's loud.
741
00:37:53,304 --> 00:37:55,272
Whoa, whoa...
742
00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:58,608
Jesus, you do this for fun?
743
00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:00,377
I got you, okay?
744
00:38:12,690 --> 00:38:14,557
Isn't this a blast?
745
00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:15,759
Yeah!
746
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:39,816
Hey, Karen! Karen?
747
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:41,618
Hey, I'm here!
748
00:38:41,620 --> 00:38:43,620
Hi, Karen. How are you?
I brought you some flowers.
749
00:38:43,622 --> 00:38:45,355
Oh, thank you, honey!
750
00:38:45,357 --> 00:38:47,357
You're not gonna believe
the day that I had.
751
00:38:47,359 --> 00:38:49,693
Guess who likes being
a man-bird as much as I do?
752
00:38:49,695 --> 00:38:49,693
-Who?
-Tim Jones.
753
00:38:49,695 --> 00:38:52,495
Look at that.
Why are you wearing a robe?
Are you sick?
754
00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:54,431
Oh. Nice. Honey,
755
00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:56,599
I'm just thinking.
What am I really doing
this summer?
756
00:38:56,601 --> 00:39:00,670
I mean, I sent the kids
away to camp,
I'm redesigning bathrooms.
757
00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:02,105
Is that what makes me happy?
758
00:39:02,107 --> 00:39:04,808
Is that what makes me,
Karen gaffney, complete?
759
00:39:04,810 --> 00:39:08,578
Okay, well, listen,
if you wanna feel complete,
760
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,647
there's some exercises
that I do at work
with the guys...
761
00:39:10,649 --> 00:39:12,716
Honey, no.
They don't work.
762
00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:16,419
Now, I've lost touch
with the real Karen.
763
00:39:16,421 --> 00:39:19,055
And then these, these amazing
new neighbors move in
764
00:39:19,057 --> 00:39:21,591
and with me feeling
so vulnerable,
it's only natural
765
00:39:21,593 --> 00:39:24,127
that I would get suspicious
and find fault with them.
766
00:39:24,129 --> 00:39:28,932
But really,
i, I just feel like
i should be focusing on me.
767
00:39:28,934 --> 00:39:29,999
And, and on us.
768
00:39:34,373 --> 00:39:35,939
Sweet baby Jesus,
what's happening?
769
00:39:35,941 --> 00:39:38,708
Natalie said
we needed a thing
to keep our spark alive
770
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:40,410
you've been talking
to Natalie about us sexually?
771
00:39:40,412 --> 00:39:42,846
No, obviously.
I didn't tell her
anything, honey.
772
00:39:42,848 --> 00:39:45,448
No, I just mean
she's unusually intuitive.
773
00:39:45,450 --> 00:39:46,616
-For a Greek.
-Right.
774
00:39:46,618 --> 00:39:48,084
And she just thinks
that once you're married
775
00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:48,084
at a certain point,
you have to make
more of an effort.
776
00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:53,156
Yeah! Yeah.
This is the Karen that i--
this is the Karen that I love.
777
00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:55,492
I really do. Take me.
778
00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:57,160
Take me, darling.
779
00:39:58,095 --> 00:39:59,963
Okay.
780
00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:01,097
--Oh!
781
00:40:01,099 --> 00:40:02,732
Shh...
782
00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,401
Shoot, honey.
783
00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:08,037
It was
the conversation piece.
784
00:40:08,039 --> 00:40:09,506
Don't worry about it.
785
00:40:10,174 --> 00:40:11,574
Oh...
786
00:40:14,812 --> 00:40:16,513
What is that?
787
00:40:16,515 --> 00:40:17,547
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
Come on, come on, come on.
788
00:40:17,549 --> 00:40:18,681
It's okay. It doesn't matter.
789
00:40:18,683 --> 00:40:21,985
You know what, honey?
We need to go back
to our lovemaking.
790
00:40:21,987 --> 00:40:23,920
-Where were we?
-Yeah, okay, yeah.
791
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:25,655
-It's so hot! Oh, it's so hot!
-Yeah. Okay, i--
should I grope you?
792
00:40:26,991 --> 00:40:28,091
-Great!
-Yeah.
793
00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:30,660
Let's go back.
Oh! Jeff, Jeff!
794
00:40:30,662 --> 00:40:31,995
Oh, it's so hot.
795
00:40:31,997 --> 00:40:33,630
-It's so hot!
-So, you are sick?
796
00:40:33,632 --> 00:40:35,865
You know what?
I'll tell you what
we should do.
797
00:40:35,867 --> 00:40:38,601
We should put on a soundtrack
for our passion.
798
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:39,836
Yeah, you want
a little passion music?
799
00:40:39,838 --> 00:40:41,104
This calls for
the judds, I think.
800
00:40:41,106 --> 00:40:42,505
We're gonna put on
some music.
801
00:40:42,507 --> 00:40:44,107
Okay.
802
00:40:44,109 --> 00:40:45,575
And I, uh, I'm going to put
the wine glasses
in the dishwasher.
803
00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:47,477
Right. Okay, so you got--
you wanna narrate!
804
00:40:47,479 --> 00:40:48,912
Okay. All right.
I got you. So...
805
00:40:48,914 --> 00:40:50,680
And then...Oh! Oh!
This is so much fun!
806
00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:57,187
The blood leaves Jeff's head
and slowly makes its way
to his midsection.
807
00:40:57,189 --> 00:40:57,187
I don't know why
we're in the closet.
808
00:40:57,189 --> 00:41:00,023
- Seems very un-erotic to me.
Honey, listen!
809
00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:01,991
Listen! Because
our neighbors bugged us!
810
00:41:01,993 --> 00:41:04,027
Told you something
was wrong with them.
811
00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:06,563
Makes a little more sense
what Tim was doing
in your den.
812
00:41:06,565 --> 00:41:07,730
And do not tell me
that he had to poop.
813
00:41:07,732 --> 00:41:10,033
He did not have to go
number two.
814
00:41:10,035 --> 00:41:12,068
And now I know what Natalie
was doing at the caf�.
815
00:41:13,103 --> 00:41:14,537
It was a drop!
816
00:41:14,539 --> 00:41:16,539
A drop?
What are you talking about?
817
00:41:16,541 --> 00:41:18,041
I can't believe she duped me
into this lingerie.
818
00:41:18,043 --> 00:41:20,143
But she was in her underwear
and I was in
my underwear and--
819
00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:22,846
oh, my god!
She was so persuasive.
820
00:41:22,848 --> 00:41:24,714
Wait. You were both in your
underwear at the same time?
821
00:41:24,716 --> 00:41:26,616
Oh, get your mind
out of the gutter!
It was a charade!
822
00:41:26,618 --> 00:41:29,786
Okay, Karen, I just wanna
make sure this isn't
another case of paranoia.
823
00:41:29,788 --> 00:41:31,754
Remember that time you made me
sleep in the car 'cause I ate
that hot pepper
824
00:41:31,756 --> 00:41:31,754
and you thought
i was possessed?
825
00:41:31,756 --> 00:41:35,258
Honey, your eyes were all red.
You were trying to have sex
on a school night.
826
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:37,794
I know, but it was
just the jalapeno.
That's my point.
827
00:41:37,796 --> 00:41:37,794
God! We gotta call the cops!
828
00:41:37,796 --> 00:41:41,731
Call the cops and tell them
what? That our neighbors
bugged the house?
829
00:41:41,733 --> 00:41:43,766
-Yes!
-That sounds crazy!
830
00:41:43,768 --> 00:41:46,135
What happens when we really
need the cops? They won't come
to our house. Why?
831
00:41:46,137 --> 00:41:48,705
Because we're on
some kind of crazy list.
That's crazy.
832
00:41:48,707 --> 00:41:50,173
You're right.
We need more evidence.
833
00:41:51,108 --> 00:41:52,809
And it's a jalapeno
834
00:41:52,811 --> 00:41:54,244
Karen. Karen!
835
00:41:56,881 --> 00:41:57,914
Karen!
836
00:41:59,617 --> 00:42:01,918
Kar--
Karen, look.
837
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,753
I know that you
miss Mikey and Patrick,
838
00:42:03,755 --> 00:42:06,589
- but parents weekend
is not for two weeks.
-Get down!
839
00:42:06,591 --> 00:42:08,258
Parents weekend
isn't for two weeks.
840
00:42:08,260 --> 00:42:10,960
Maybe we can do some
of your breathing exercises
to center you.
841
00:42:10,962 --> 00:42:14,664
Jeff, I don't need to do any
deep breathing exercises!
I'm centered!
842
00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:15,999
It's quiet over there.
843
00:42:16,934 --> 00:42:18,234
It's too quiet.
844
00:42:19,904 --> 00:42:21,771
They're probably watching us,
watching them.
845
00:42:21,773 --> 00:42:25,041
They're not watching us!
They're at a restaurant
with Stacey chung.
846
00:42:25,943 --> 00:42:25,942
How do you know that?
847
00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:29,546
Because we talked about it
at the indoor skydiving place!
848
00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:31,047
Why didn't you tell me?
849
00:42:31,049 --> 00:42:32,815
Karen, stop!
850
00:42:32,817 --> 00:42:35,184
Darling, stop, please!
Think about what you're doing.
851
00:42:35,186 --> 00:42:36,586
You'll go to jail
for something like this.
852
00:42:36,588 --> 00:42:37,320
Only if I get caught.
853
00:42:37,322 --> 00:42:39,188
See? No fingerprints.
854
00:42:39,190 --> 00:42:41,824
Now, people move in,
they always change the locks,
855
00:42:41,826 --> 00:42:43,693
but they never change
the garage remote.
856
00:42:43,695 --> 00:42:46,596
I forgot to give it back
when Bridget and Dave
went to myrtle beach
857
00:42:46,598 --> 00:42:47,697
and asked me to feed smokey.
858
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:54,737
Are you coming?
859
00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:56,172
You're gonna need
to cover your hands.
860
00:42:56,174 --> 00:42:58,274
Cover my hands?
With what?
861
00:42:58,276 --> 00:42:59,309
Use your socks.
862
00:43:01,345 --> 00:43:03,846
Oh, god! It looks
like a show home!
863
00:43:05,149 --> 00:43:07,083
They painted over
Bridget's mural.
864
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:09,752
That's a real tragedy.
865
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:09,752
Look, there's
nothing weird here.
Let's go, let's go!
866
00:43:13,991 --> 00:43:16,793
Karen! There are
windows everywhere.
Get down! Get down!
867
00:43:17,728 --> 00:43:18,928
So weird.
868
00:43:20,164 --> 00:43:21,164
Stand up!
869
00:43:23,968 --> 00:43:26,235
These pots have never seen
a lick of flame.
870
00:43:26,237 --> 00:43:28,638
Little weird for someone
with a cooking blog, huh?
871
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,374
Well, it's
a new house, new pots.
It makes sense to me.
872
00:43:31,376 --> 00:43:34,711
And an empty spice rack.
She wows the neighbors
with her appetizers.
873
00:43:34,713 --> 00:43:34,711
No spices.
874
00:43:34,713 --> 00:43:38,147
Never judge a woman
by her spice rack, Karen.
875
00:43:38,149 --> 00:43:39,916
Check for stuff about
Sri lankan orphans.
876
00:43:39,918 --> 00:43:41,718
I bet that's another
web of lies!
877
00:43:47,358 --> 00:43:50,126
Sorry, Tim, for breaking
into your house.
878
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:53,396
I just wanted to be
your friend. This certainly
isn't a friendly gesture.
879
00:43:53,398 --> 00:43:55,398
You know what, honey?
I can hear you.
880
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,367
And it hurts my feelings
when you're not supportive.
881
00:43:57,369 --> 00:43:58,968
Karen, this is ridiculous!
882
00:43:59,937 --> 00:44:01,904
It's gotta be here somewhere.
883
00:44:04,675 --> 00:44:06,743
Karen! Karen,
Karen, Karen!
884
00:44:06,745 --> 00:44:09,379
Oh, look at them.
So perfect.
885
00:44:17,721 --> 00:44:18,821
Karen, come on, let's go.
886
00:44:18,823 --> 00:44:20,690
Look at this.
887
00:44:20,692 --> 00:44:22,425
- Okay. So, they're gamers.
- Let's go.
888
00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:30,333
Karen! Don't!
What are you doing?
889
00:44:32,436 --> 00:44:34,971
Stacey chung.
Isn't she out
with the joneses?
890
00:44:34,973 --> 00:44:35,972
Yeah.
891
00:44:36,907 --> 00:44:38,007
Ted Wallace.
892
00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:39,442
He works with you, right?
893
00:44:39,444 --> 00:44:41,811
Yeah. Maybe it's just some
kind of social media thing.
894
00:44:42,746 --> 00:44:44,080
Dhameer Mustafa?
895
00:44:44,082 --> 00:44:45,281
There's Dan.
896
00:44:46,216 --> 00:44:47,150
Sanjay.
897
00:44:55,092 --> 00:44:58,194
Oh, god!
They're targeting mbi.
898
00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:01,898
-There's some kind of missile.
-These are all the people
he was asking me about.
899
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:04,434
Oh, my god!
I told him everything.
Oh, god!
900
00:45:04,436 --> 00:45:05,702
We've gotta go.
901
00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:05,702
Switch down
the computer, honey.
902
00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:09,005
We gotta get out
of here. We gotta get out
of here right now.
903
00:45:09,007 --> 00:45:11,107
I can't get any purchase
on the mouse because
i have a sock hand.
904
00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:12,241
-Okay, hold on.
-Switch it off! Put it back.
905
00:45:12,243 --> 00:45:13,943
- Karen...
-Put it back the--
906
00:45:13,945 --> 00:45:16,112
no! You don't understand!
They're spies.
907
00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:18,715
-Karen, please,
okay? Karen! Just shh!
-We gotta go right now!
908
00:45:18,717 --> 00:45:18,715
I need to write
these names down.
909
00:45:18,717 --> 00:45:21,084
Honey, what are you doing?
We gotta go! We gotta go!
910
00:45:21,086 --> 00:45:23,820
They could be back
at any second.
911
00:45:23,822 --> 00:45:24,787
What are you staring at?
912
00:45:25,422 --> 00:45:26,823
What is that? A pen?
913
00:45:26,825 --> 00:45:27,924
What?
914
00:45:28,859 --> 00:45:29,826
-What?
-You have a...
915
00:45:32,162 --> 00:45:35,331
Oh, god! Oh, my god! Now what?
916
00:45:35,333 --> 00:45:36,833
Oh, shit! I killed her!
917
00:45:36,835 --> 00:45:38,134
Karen!
918
00:45:38,802 --> 00:45:40,136
- Karen!
919
00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:41,237
Oh, thank god!
920
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,205
Honey.
921
00:45:45,476 --> 00:45:47,477
Okay, we gotta go.
Karen, wake up!
922
00:45:56,820 --> 00:45:58,254
Oh, god.
923
00:45:58,256 --> 00:46:00,857
Damn!
924
00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:02,825
Oh, shit!
925
00:46:05,029 --> 00:46:06,996
Oh! Sorry. Sorry.
926
00:46:06,998 --> 00:46:09,098
- You're welcome, baby.
- Okay.
927
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:11,467
--Okay.
928
00:46:11,469 --> 00:46:14,103
-Jeff, you're so cute!
-Karen, shh!
929
00:46:15,507 --> 00:46:15,505
- Okay.
- Shh.
930
00:46:15,507 --> 00:46:19,008
Okay.
Oh, why are you
shushing me?
931
00:46:26,049 --> 00:46:29,852
I thought chili's
was supposed to be fancy.
932
00:46:29,854 --> 00:46:32,155
Yeah, I don't think
you ordered well.
933
00:46:32,157 --> 00:46:35,858
Whee! Remember
when we were in college,
934
00:46:35,860 --> 00:46:39,228
and your parents,
they almost caught us
in the bushes, and we hid!
935
00:46:39,230 --> 00:46:40,163
Yeah.
936
00:46:40,998 --> 00:46:42,465
Wait, I met you after college.
937
00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:44,066
Shh.
938
00:46:44,068 --> 00:46:46,435
Oh, my god!
939
00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:46,435
It's almost like
our wedding night.
940
00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:49,438
Why did we do that?
Why did we do that?
What are we doing?
941
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,007
What do we do?
942
00:46:51,009 --> 00:46:53,943
- Jeff, you're
being so serious!
943
00:46:53,945 --> 00:46:57,580
- I'm Jeff. I'm so serious.
-Karen, Karen, Karen!
944
00:46:57,582 --> 00:46:59,215
-Why are you being so serious?
-Okay. Okay.
945
00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:00,883
Shh, shh, shh.
946
00:47:00,885 --> 00:47:01,918
-Stop licking me!
-Yeah.
947
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,319
Okay, listen. Oh, shit!
948
00:47:04,288 --> 00:47:05,221
Oh, shit.
949
00:47:06,456 --> 00:47:08,124
-I'm getting on top!
-I-i--
950
00:47:08,126 --> 00:47:09,458
I'm getting on top.
951
00:47:09,460 --> 00:47:10,927
- Karen! Karen! Karen!
- Oh, I'm on top!
952
00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:12,895
- That makes me feel weird.
- Karen, please.
953
00:47:12,897 --> 00:47:14,831
I'm not into this
right now, sweetheart.
954
00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:17,200
I'm not really into this.
955
00:47:17,202 --> 00:47:19,502
Cuddle me.
No cuddling!
Our neighbors are spies!
956
00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:22,104
Our neighbors are spies.
I wanna cuddle.
Cuddle me.
957
00:47:22,106 --> 00:47:23,573
Look at 'em up there.
958
00:47:23,575 --> 00:47:25,975
Probably going upstairs
to make sex,
959
00:47:25,977 --> 00:47:27,443
and they won't even
think about us.
960
00:47:28,946 --> 00:47:31,080
You broke my heart, Tim Jones.
961
00:47:32,416 --> 00:47:35,117
You broke my heart.
962
00:47:35,119 --> 00:47:37,420
I'm just saying,
the place is called chili's.
963
00:47:37,422 --> 00:47:39,522
-It's a Mexican place.
-I can't believe...
964
00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:39,522
-I don't know why you would...
-...We're still talking
about the restaurant.
965
00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:39,522
...order anything
remotely Asian.
966
00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:45,228
Okay. I guess we can
cross off Stacey.
967
00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:46,929
She's not going
to give us anything.
968
00:47:46,931 --> 00:47:49,198
Hey, do you know
what a grillbot is?
969
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,001
What?
970
00:47:52,003 --> 00:47:53,369
It's this thing.
Jeff was telling me
about it the other day.
971
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:56,372
It's this little robot
that cleans your barbecue--
972
00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:58,374
I hope this is not
going to be a problem.
973
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:00,343
What?
974
00:48:05,115 --> 00:48:09,285
First rule of what we do.
Don't get too close
to your targets. Remember?
975
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:10,319
Actually...
976
00:48:10,321 --> 00:48:12,455
The first rule
of what we do,
977
00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:14,390
is to not fall in love
with your partner.
978
00:48:15,459 --> 00:48:18,361
Right? Wasn't...
That the first rule?
979
00:48:18,363 --> 00:48:19,896
-Tim Jones.
-Hmm?
980
00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:23,566
What am I going
to do with you? Hmm?
981
00:48:25,102 --> 00:48:26,636
I don't know.
982
00:48:26,638 --> 00:48:28,437
-You don't know?
-I don't know.
983
00:48:28,439 --> 00:48:30,172
-I have a few ideas.
-I have some ideas too.
984
00:48:30,174 --> 00:48:31,173
-You do?
-Mm-hmm.
985
00:48:31,175 --> 00:48:32,375
Should I start now?
986
00:48:32,377 --> 00:48:34,176
Yes, you should.
987
00:48:36,413 --> 00:48:39,515
Okay. Uh... okay.
988
00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:50,426
Well, that
might be a problem.
989
00:48:59,136 --> 00:49:00,703
Hey, buddy.
Can I use your computer?
990
00:49:00,705 --> 00:49:02,972
I need to check
my fantasy baseball roster.
991
00:49:02,974 --> 00:49:04,173
Oh, go ahead.
Go ahead.
992
00:49:04,175 --> 00:49:05,141
Thanks.
993
00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:18,154
What is happening?
994
00:49:18,156 --> 00:49:20,623
You okay, Jeff?
You seem kind of distant.
995
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,458
No, I'm fine. I'm just...
996
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:27,163
Sifting through the wreckage
of every value
i once held dear.
997
00:49:27,165 --> 00:49:30,066
Oh, good. I was worried
it might be something real.
998
00:49:34,105 --> 00:49:35,104
Hey, Dan.
999
00:49:36,674 --> 00:49:38,307
Dan!
1000
00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:49,118
The joneses aren't
who they say they are.
1001
00:49:50,053 --> 00:49:51,053
What are you talking about?
1002
00:49:51,055 --> 00:49:53,656
Your phone.
1003
00:49:54,658 --> 00:49:56,359
Okay. Okay.
1004
00:50:00,331 --> 00:50:01,497
Spies?
1005
00:50:26,257 --> 00:50:28,491
But, it's not
like that. I swear!
1006
00:50:28,493 --> 00:50:31,093
Sometimes, she picks up
on things. And this time
she was right.
1007
00:50:31,095 --> 00:50:32,428
You have to
take this upstairs, Carl!
1008
00:50:32,430 --> 00:50:35,564
This company,
my neighborhood,
1009
00:50:35,566 --> 00:50:38,167
western civilization
as we know it,
1010
00:50:38,169 --> 00:50:39,335
they're all at risk.
1011
00:50:41,805 --> 00:50:43,439
And it might be my fault.
1012
00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:49,378
All right, gaffney.
I'll do some digging.
1013
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:50,579
Okay. Thank you.
1014
00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:52,615
See what I can learn about
1015
00:50:52,617 --> 00:50:55,618
these devices. And
if I find out they're real,
and not from some hobby shop,
1016
00:50:55,620 --> 00:50:57,420
well, you wait for my call.
1017
00:50:57,422 --> 00:50:59,121
Okay.
1018
00:51:25,849 --> 00:51:27,616
--Go for Jeff.
1019
00:51:27,618 --> 00:51:30,286
I gotta say, gaffney,
you and your wife were right.
1020
00:51:30,288 --> 00:51:32,388
You know those
devices you gave me?
1021
00:51:32,390 --> 00:51:34,156
Yeah, well, I was talking
to a friend of mine.
1022
00:51:34,158 --> 00:51:35,724
Ex-military.
1023
00:51:35,726 --> 00:51:38,661
And, uh, well, this line
is unsecured, so I can't
go into details,
1024
00:51:38,663 --> 00:51:42,631
but let me just say,
this stuff is the real shit!
1025
00:51:42,633 --> 00:51:42,631
God!
1026
00:51:42,633 --> 00:51:46,168
Okay. Who are the
joneses working for?
Are they Russian?
1027
00:51:46,170 --> 00:51:47,670
Damn it, gaffney.
1028
00:51:47,672 --> 00:51:49,772
What is it about the word
"unsecured" that
you don't get?
1029
00:51:49,774 --> 00:51:51,574
Look, I'm gonna do
some more digging,
1030
00:51:51,576 --> 00:51:53,776
and then you meet with me
before work tomorrow.
1031
00:51:53,778 --> 00:51:55,377
-Okay.
-Uh, you know
1032
00:51:55,379 --> 00:51:57,379
the old mbi building?
On 75?
1033
00:51:57,381 --> 00:51:59,582
7:00 A.M.
just look for the Van.
1034
00:51:59,584 --> 00:51:59,582
Wait, why are
we meeting there?
1035
00:51:59,584 --> 00:52:04,320
Well, so we can strategize
before we take it upstairs!
1036
00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:06,555
My buddy says the last time
he saw tech like that
1037
00:52:06,557 --> 00:52:08,290
was on a dead man.
1038
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:09,458
Dead man?
Why would you say--
1039
00:52:10,695 --> 00:52:11,727
Jesus!
1040
00:52:13,831 --> 00:52:16,132
Jesus, is right
1041
00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:19,835
gaffney, this is the big time!
I mean, we are going
all the way.
1042
00:52:19,837 --> 00:52:21,770
Not now, Carl.
1043
00:52:21,772 --> 00:52:23,806
- Not now.
Hey, don't you try to
give me the brush off.
1044
00:52:23,808 --> 00:52:25,207
If you think you're
gonna handle this yourself,
1045
00:52:25,209 --> 00:52:26,208
-you're making a big mistake!
-Okay, okay.
1046
00:52:26,210 --> 00:52:27,510
Work buddy.
1047
00:52:27,512 --> 00:52:29,578
Gaffney,
don't mess this up!
1048
00:52:29,580 --> 00:52:31,914
- . Carl! Okay, yeah.
-7:00 A.M. bring lattes...
1049
00:52:31,916 --> 00:52:32,882
- Good.
1050
00:52:34,585 --> 00:52:36,352
You okay there, buddy?
You almost ran me over.
1051
00:52:36,354 --> 00:52:39,155
Yeah, I was, I was
looking for Bernie.
He keeps pooping
1052
00:52:39,157 --> 00:52:41,223
in my yard and I was just--
i mean, his dogs keep,
1053
00:52:41,225 --> 00:52:42,691
uh, pooping in my yard.
1054
00:52:42,693 --> 00:52:45,761
I was distracted.
Um, how are you?
1055
00:52:45,763 --> 00:52:47,329
You don't seem
like yourself, Jeff
1056
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:48,697
well, you don't seem
like yourself, Tim.
1057
00:52:48,699 --> 00:52:48,697
What's that supposed to mean?
1058
00:52:48,699 --> 00:52:53,836
Oh, I was... you said it
to me. I was... what did you
mean when you said it?
1059
00:52:53,838 --> 00:52:55,738
We think we had
a break-in last night.
1060
00:52:55,740 --> 00:52:58,307
-What?
-Yeah. I know.
Really rocks your
1061
00:52:58,309 --> 00:52:59,942
faith in the notion of trust,
doesn't it?
1062
00:52:59,944 --> 00:53:02,545
Tell me about it. My gosh!
1063
00:53:02,547 --> 00:53:03,946
You'd think in a
neighborhood like this
1064
00:53:03,948 --> 00:53:05,281
you wouldn't have to worry
about something like that.
1065
00:53:05,283 --> 00:53:07,683
I'm so sorry about that, Tim.
1066
00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:11,187
Yeah, well, Jeff,
here's the thing about trust.
1067
00:53:11,189 --> 00:53:15,391
Once it's gone...
Bad things happen.
1068
00:53:16,359 --> 00:53:17,593
I heard that.
1069
00:53:18,828 --> 00:53:18,827
Okay, well, I should go.
1070
00:53:18,829 --> 00:53:21,630
Karen and i
are supposed to take a bath.
1071
00:53:38,548 --> 00:53:40,883
Yeah, a little warning.
Carl can be a bit prickly,
1072
00:53:40,885 --> 00:53:43,552
but he's a top notch
security man and he
happens to like the way
1073
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,621
-your mind thinks, okay?
-Okay.
1074
00:53:46,790 --> 00:53:50,359
Is that him in the bathrobe
hanging laundry?
1075
00:53:50,361 --> 00:53:52,595
I don't know.
Maybe he's having a yard sale.
1076
00:53:56,433 --> 00:53:56,432
Gaffney, right on time!
1077
00:53:56,434 --> 00:54:00,903
Oh, and you brought
the lattes.
Knew I could count on you.
1078
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:02,738
This is my wife, Carl.
1079
00:54:02,740 --> 00:54:04,273
I mean,
this is my wife, Carl.
1080
00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:04,273
Nice to meet you.
1081
00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:04,273
-Oh, nice to meet you.
-Karen gaffney.
1082
00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:08,544
Yeah, well, welcome
to my home away from home.
1083
00:54:08,546 --> 00:54:10,746
Or to be more accurate,
my, my home.
1084
00:54:10,748 --> 00:54:13,749
But, uh, not for long.
Oh, here, please. Thank you.
1085
00:54:13,751 --> 00:54:14,883
Sit down here.
1086
00:54:14,885 --> 00:54:16,986
Let me just
clear this stuff away.
1087
00:54:16,988 --> 00:54:19,255
Get this laundry outta here.
1088
00:54:20,523 --> 00:54:22,458
Ah!
1089
00:54:22,460 --> 00:54:23,692
It's the maid's day off.
1090
00:54:23,694 --> 00:54:25,894
Oh, not at all.
It's just that
1091
00:54:25,896 --> 00:54:29,698
when you told us to meet you
at the Van, I didn't realize
you'd be living in it.
1092
00:54:29,700 --> 00:54:31,767
Yeah, well,
the truth is, um...
1093
00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:33,702
I've been living
in the old westfalia here
1094
00:54:33,704 --> 00:54:37,006
ever since my wife left me
and took everything I had.
1095
00:54:37,008 --> 00:54:38,907
-Sorry, Carl.
-That's terrible.
1096
00:54:38,909 --> 00:54:41,677
And now thanks to you
for bringing me in
on this deal, Jeff.
1097
00:54:41,679 --> 00:54:44,046
I mean, I think things are,
are finally starting to
break my way again!
1098
00:54:44,048 --> 00:54:45,514
What do you have for us?
1099
00:54:45,516 --> 00:54:48,617
Oh, boy, what have I got?
Let me show you here.
1100
00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:51,687
You know, here's something
that Jeff never thought
he'd hear. Gaffney...
1101
00:54:51,689 --> 00:54:54,490
Are you ready for
a level four
security clearance?
1102
00:54:55,692 --> 00:54:58,360
- Okay.
-Okay. Here we go.
1103
00:54:58,362 --> 00:54:59,628
-Carl.
-Yeah?
1104
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,764
You got like a...
A red dot on your forehead.
1105
00:55:01,766 --> 00:55:03,766
Yeah, it's called adult acne.
Thank you very mu--
1106
00:55:05,870 --> 00:55:07,403
--oh, god!
1107
00:55:07,405 --> 00:55:08,504
I've been hit!
1108
00:55:08,506 --> 00:55:10,673
I've been hit!
I've been hit!
1109
00:55:10,675 --> 00:55:12,675
Oh, my god!
1110
00:55:12,677 --> 00:55:14,743
--Oh, shit.
1111
00:55:14,745 --> 00:55:15,978
-Are you hurt?
-I've been shot!
1112
00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:18,314
Oh, god! No, honey,
it's just the latte!
1113
00:55:18,316 --> 00:55:19,948
- It burns! It burns!
1114
00:55:21,986 --> 00:55:23,919
Oh, shit!
It's the joneses!
1115
00:55:23,921 --> 00:55:26,322
Try not to shoot them.
1116
00:55:26,324 --> 00:55:27,856
Let's run
for Carl's house.
1117
00:55:27,858 --> 00:55:30,359
--Oh, god!
1118
00:55:34,531 --> 00:55:35,931
Get in the car! Now!
1119
00:55:35,933 --> 00:55:38,434
Let us get on
with our stupid
little lives!
1120
00:55:39,470 --> 00:55:42,604
--Get in the car now
1121
00:55:42,606 --> 00:55:44,707
and I will explain
everything. Mostly.
1122
00:55:44,709 --> 00:55:46,809
I'm tired of your
silver-tongued lies, Jones!
1123
00:55:46,811 --> 00:55:49,378
Do you wanna get killed
out here? Get in the car!
1124
00:55:49,380 --> 00:55:50,879
Why? So you could
kill us in there?
1125
00:55:50,881 --> 00:55:53,782
There were no spices
in your spice rack!
1126
00:55:53,784 --> 00:55:56,952
I said get in the car.
1127
00:55:56,954 --> 00:55:59,054
We're gonna get
in the car.
1128
00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:01,757
For Patrick and Mikey.
Right, honey?
1129
00:56:01,759 --> 00:56:03,826
Guys, now.
It is very dangerous. Now!
1130
00:56:03,828 --> 00:56:06,061
When I count to three
we're gonna run, okay?
1131
00:56:06,063 --> 00:56:08,430
One... two...
1132
00:56:08,898 --> 00:56:08,897
Jeff!
1133
00:56:08,899 --> 00:56:11,867
- Oh, my god!
- I said three!
1134
00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:15,070
Jeff, please, would you
just get in the car?
1135
00:56:15,072 --> 00:56:16,138
I was making a head start!
1136
00:56:16,140 --> 00:56:17,539
On your wife?
1137
00:56:17,541 --> 00:56:17,539
You two are acting
like children right now.
1138
00:56:17,541 --> 00:56:21,009
Now, get in the car.
Right now. Get in this car.
1139
00:56:21,011 --> 00:56:23,946
Put your seat belt on,
for Christ's sake.
1140
00:56:23,948 --> 00:56:25,814
Oh, my god.
Come on, come on,
come on...
1141
00:56:25,816 --> 00:56:26,782
Go, go, go, go, go.
Let's go, let's go,
let's go.
1142
00:56:28,052 --> 00:56:29,718
What is going on here, Tim?
1143
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,853
Are you stealing
secrets from mbi?
1144
00:56:30,855 --> 00:56:32,821
We're not stealing
secrets from you.
1145
00:56:32,823 --> 00:56:34,423
-There they are.
-I see them.
1146
00:56:34,425 --> 00:56:34,423
We're spies.
1147
00:56:34,425 --> 00:56:37,559
His seat belt
is jammed! Pull over.
1148
00:56:37,561 --> 00:56:40,028
- Shut up!
Jeff gets
car sick in the back!
1149
00:56:40,030 --> 00:56:41,764
-Quiet!
-Shut up!
1150
00:56:45,635 --> 00:56:46,769
You broke into our house.
1151
00:56:46,771 --> 00:56:48,604
What kind of neighbors
are you?
1152
00:56:48,606 --> 00:56:50,939
You planted a bug
in our house. What kind
of neighbors are you?
1153
00:56:50,941 --> 00:56:54,643
--You know,
they kind of have a point.
1154
00:56:54,645 --> 00:56:56,712
- It's so hot in here.
Put the ac on. Please!
No.
1155
00:56:56,714 --> 00:56:57,880
Can you turn the
air conditioner on, please?
1156
00:56:57,882 --> 00:57:00,082
-It's not going on!
-It's hot.
1157
00:57:06,990 --> 00:57:08,924
- My seat belt's not on!
- Wait!
1158
00:57:17,033 --> 00:57:18,801
Okay, it's about
to get weird.
1159
00:57:18,803 --> 00:57:20,636
About to get weird?
1160
00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:37,553
- Quick question. Are you guys
the good guys or bad guys?
1161
00:57:37,555 --> 00:57:37,553
What do you think?
1162
00:57:37,555 --> 00:57:40,823
I think the guys
in black...
-Shit!
1163
00:57:40,825 --> 00:57:43,492
...on the motorcycles
shooting at us,
might be the bad guys.
1164
00:57:45,695 --> 00:57:46,962
- Get down, get down, get down!
1165
00:57:58,541 --> 00:58:00,609
--What is that?
1166
00:58:00,611 --> 00:58:01,710
Oh. It's camp.
1167
00:58:01,712 --> 00:58:02,978
What?
1168
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:05,914
Hey, sweetie.
How are you?
1169
00:58:05,916 --> 00:58:08,016
-Yeah, the cookies
are for both of you.
-Karen!
1170
00:58:08,018 --> 00:58:10,586
Mikey, if you split it,
he gets to choose first.
1171
00:58:10,588 --> 00:58:12,154
-Karen!
-Because that's fair!
1172
00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:15,924
Get down! Get down
Karen, get off the phone!
1173
00:58:15,926 --> 00:58:18,060
Because otherwise you would
make one piece bigger, honey.
1174
00:58:18,062 --> 00:58:20,162
And then you'd pick that one.
Put Mikey on, put Mikey--
1175
00:58:20,164 --> 00:58:22,164
just split the cookie!
Just split the cookie!
1176
00:58:24,267 --> 00:58:26,869
Oh, shit!
1177
00:58:48,826 --> 00:58:50,192
To the right, Natalie.
1178
00:58:50,194 --> 00:58:51,193
Thanks, Karen.
1179
00:58:53,230 --> 00:58:54,530
Brake!
1180
00:58:58,134 --> 00:58:59,801
Ah! Oh, my god!
1181
00:59:01,105 --> 00:59:02,671
Oh, oh, oh!
1182
00:59:04,641 --> 00:59:07,242
Okay. Okay. Okay.
1183
00:59:11,748 --> 00:59:15,684
Please get out of the way.
Please get out of the way
so I can see.
1184
00:59:36,140 --> 00:59:38,840
There's something blinking
on the back of the car.
Is that bad?
1185
00:59:38,842 --> 00:59:41,610
--Yes, Jeff, that is
decidedly bad.
1186
00:59:41,612 --> 00:59:43,145
You need to go out there
and take that off.
1187
00:59:43,147 --> 00:59:45,714
-Wha... I need to take it off?
-Yes!
1188
00:59:45,716 --> 00:59:47,215
-Well, can you slow down?
-No!
1189
00:59:47,217 --> 00:59:48,984
- I'm driving.
We're being chased.
Get it off!
1190
00:59:48,986 --> 00:59:50,953
I'm not gonna slow down.
They're trying to kill us!
1191
00:59:50,955 --> 00:59:53,288
Oh, right. Coming from the guy
who wouldn't turn on
the air conditioner.
1192
00:59:53,290 --> 00:59:55,657
--Slow down a little bit.
1193
00:59:55,659 --> 00:59:57,993
I'm getting wet!
I'm getting wet!
1194
00:59:57,995 --> 00:59:59,962
Getting wet is better
than getting shot!
1195
01:00:03,233 --> 01:00:04,866
It's hot!
1196
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:12,274
Three targets,
two shots. You got this?
1197
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:12,274
Always.
1198
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:16,345
How you doing
back there, Jeff?
We need you, buddy.
1199
01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:19,881
Wait.
1200
01:00:21,050 --> 01:00:22,784
-Okay.
-Wait.
1201
01:00:23,786 --> 01:00:25,621
Now.
1202
01:00:25,623 --> 01:00:27,723
I got it! I got it! Now what?
1203
01:00:27,725 --> 01:00:28,657
Hold on, Jeff!
1204
01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:35,030
Ohh!
1205
01:00:35,732 --> 01:00:36,965
Throw it! Throw it!
1206
01:00:45,341 --> 01:00:48,010
Oh!
1207
01:00:48,012 --> 01:00:50,779
- Five here?
So, what do you think?
1208
01:00:50,781 --> 01:00:52,848
I think I'm stuck.
1209
01:00:52,850 --> 01:00:55,684
Yeah. Um, well, I think, uh,
one, two, three, four, five...
It's gotta be six.
1210
01:00:55,686 --> 01:00:55,684
Here we go, folks.
1211
01:00:55,686 --> 01:00:59,021
- Scrambled whites with toast.
- Thank you.
1212
01:00:59,023 --> 01:01:01,356
-Three-egg omelet
with potatoes.
-Thank you!
1213
01:01:01,358 --> 01:01:04,126
Eggs, potatoes, and bacon.
And a side of bacon.
1214
01:01:04,128 --> 01:01:06,995
- Yum, yum, yum, yum!
- Thank you very much.
1215
01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:07,929
Oh, my goodness!
1216
01:01:08,931 --> 01:01:11,133
Mmm. Mmm.
1217
01:01:12,368 --> 01:01:15,937
What? High speed car chases
make me hungry, honey.
1218
01:01:17,073 --> 01:01:19,007
Okay, uh, mis...
Mr. and Mrs. Jones,
1219
01:01:19,009 --> 01:01:21,176
if that's who, you know,
you really are.
1220
01:01:21,178 --> 01:01:23,845
I have a couple of questions.
And, um...
1221
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:26,014
I think this time
we kind of deserve the truth.
1222
01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:29,818
- You're entitled to it.
Okay, question
number one.
1223
01:01:29,820 --> 01:01:31,086
Are you in the CIA?
1224
01:01:32,822 --> 01:01:35,857
Honey, that's
a wasted question.
They can't answer that.
1225
01:01:35,859 --> 01:01:37,893
Question number two then.
Who are you after?
1226
01:01:38,761 --> 01:01:40,729
We can't tell you.
1227
01:01:40,731 --> 01:01:42,998
Okay. Question number three.
Is it somebody we know?
1228
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:42,998
Can't say that, either.
1229
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:46,201
You just said we were
entitled to the truth.
1230
01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:47,969
Did say you were entitled
to the truth. Doesn't mean
we can give it to you.
1231
01:01:47,971 --> 01:01:49,871
You know what, honey?
It's probably classified.
1232
01:01:49,873 --> 01:01:51,406
That's why they can't tell us.
1233
01:01:51,408 --> 01:01:53,809
-Do you want any of this?
-Yeah. I'll have
some potatoes.
1234
01:01:53,811 --> 01:01:58,013
I'm glad everybody's just...
Enjoying their meal
while we're in the middle
1235
01:01:58,015 --> 01:02:00,282
of a... like a, like a thing!
1236
01:02:00,284 --> 01:02:02,284
-You guys are just eating
like there's nothing going on.
-Relax!
1237
01:02:02,286 --> 01:02:03,985
- ...and I'm a little
troubled by it!
-Shh.
1238
01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:08,790
Honey!
That is not okay.
1239
01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:10,792
Fine.
1240
01:02:10,794 --> 01:02:12,194
I'll, I'll keep asking
'til I get something
that's not classified.
1241
01:02:12,196 --> 01:02:13,128
Is that fine with you?
1242
01:02:13,130 --> 01:02:14,262
Okay.
1243
01:02:18,067 --> 01:02:19,868
Question 17.
1244
01:02:19,870 --> 01:02:22,771
After a shootout like that,
who cleans up all the bullets?
1245
01:02:24,340 --> 01:02:26,108
Okay, can you guys
tell us anything at all?
1246
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:30,479
I'm not Greek.
I'm Israeli.
1247
01:02:30,481 --> 01:02:31,747
Ex-Mossad?
1248
01:02:31,749 --> 01:02:33,148
Can't tell you.
1249
01:02:33,150 --> 01:02:34,750
Come on. Are you
guys even married?
1250
01:02:34,752 --> 01:02:37,352
Can you even tell us that?
1251
01:02:37,354 --> 01:02:39,054
Yes. That actually
you can't fake.
1252
01:02:39,056 --> 01:02:41,790
But that's it?
Everything else was a lie?
1253
01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:46,995
I mean, 'cause I think
when you told me
that you hated your job,
1254
01:02:46,997 --> 01:02:49,264
that seemed real. I mean,
from an hr perspective.
1255
01:02:49,266 --> 01:02:50,532
That, that seemed real.
1256
01:02:55,004 --> 01:02:57,172
You told him
you hate your job?
1257
01:02:59,842 --> 01:03:03,779
I may have mentioned
certain misgivings,
in confidence.
1258
01:03:03,781 --> 01:03:05,147
Interesting.
1259
01:03:05,149 --> 01:03:06,414
Why is this
coming out now?
1260
01:03:08,017 --> 01:03:10,051
Because Jeff is actually
a good listener.
1261
01:03:10,053 --> 01:03:12,988
And I did mention that
to you before, in marrakesh.
1262
01:03:12,990 --> 01:03:16,091
At that place that
we always go to. Hazim's.
1263
01:03:16,093 --> 01:03:16,091
That day, we spent the whole
afternoon there.
1264
01:03:16,093 --> 01:03:20,262
We talked about
maybe getting out of this.
We talked about
1265
01:03:20,264 --> 01:03:23,431
I could actually become
a travel writer, for real!
1266
01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:24,866
We could maybe have a child.
1267
01:03:24,868 --> 01:03:26,902
That was hypothetical.
It wasn't a life plan.
1268
01:03:26,904 --> 01:03:28,904
- I didn't think it--
1269
01:03:28,906 --> 01:03:30,305
okay. This is what we do.
Automatically, we go to Hebrew
1270
01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:32,340
-and then it's gonna be
a whole thing.
-Shh. Okay.
1271
01:03:32,342 --> 01:03:32,340
-And I, 'cause I can't speak--
-and who puts a bug
in a glass sculpture?
1272
01:03:32,342 --> 01:03:36,578
I happen to like my
glass sculptures and I like
to share them with people.
1273
01:03:36,580 --> 01:03:38,313
It's a legitimate thing.
It's actually appropriate
1274
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:40,515
to give somebody a gift.
What isn't appropriate,
1275
01:03:40,517 --> 01:03:43,919
however, is what you happened
to wear at the yard party.
1276
01:03:43,921 --> 01:03:46,121
So, now you want me to dress
like some kind of a sexless
1277
01:03:46,123 --> 01:03:46,121
-elementary school nurse...
-Oh, come on.
I'm not talking...
1278
01:03:46,123 --> 01:03:46,121
-...just to fit in with the
other mothers, right?
-...About being sexless.
1279
01:03:46,123 --> 01:03:46,121
-No offense, Karen.
-You look great!
1280
01:03:46,123 --> 01:03:52,327
You look amazing.
But you have to fit in!
1281
01:03:52,329 --> 01:03:54,329
I mean, it's called
being undercover.
1282
01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:57,566
I mean, you had
no problem wearing
a burqa in Kabul.
1283
01:03:57,568 --> 01:03:59,201
Right! But this is
the suburbs!
1284
01:03:59,203 --> 01:04:02,037
It's hard. Don't you get it?
Women here are vicious.
1285
01:04:02,039 --> 01:04:03,972
Can I say? You don't know
the women here.
1286
01:04:04,941 --> 01:04:06,074
There you go.
1287
01:04:06,076 --> 01:04:07,075
We don't know anything.
1288
01:04:07,077 --> 01:04:08,410
Why did you bug our house?
1289
01:04:08,412 --> 01:04:10,078
Well, actually, you know
less than nothing.
1290
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,147
But the agency
received credible intel
1291
01:04:12,149 --> 01:04:15,183
that someone was
using your work computer
to commit treason
1292
01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:17,853
against the United States
of America.
1293
01:04:17,855 --> 01:04:20,155
We were using you
to get to whoever they are.
1294
01:04:20,157 --> 01:04:21,289
Why not tell him everything?
1295
01:04:21,291 --> 01:04:22,991
Who cares?
1296
01:04:22,993 --> 01:04:25,427
Ten years, 30 countries,
nobody finds us out,
1297
01:04:25,429 --> 01:04:27,262
and we couldn't even
last a week in suburbia!
1298
01:04:27,264 --> 01:04:29,631
--Can I pay, please?
1299
01:04:45,414 --> 01:04:47,382
Stupid question.
Um, what do we do now?
1300
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:48,483
Yeah, what do we do now?
1301
01:04:48,485 --> 01:04:50,185
Just stick to your routine.
1302
01:04:50,187 --> 01:04:52,654
And nobody finds out
about any of this, okay?
1303
01:04:52,656 --> 01:04:54,456
I won't tell anybody.
1304
01:04:54,458 --> 01:04:55,891
Yeah, keep it quiet.
1305
01:04:55,893 --> 01:04:57,926
Um, there's this other thing
i needed to ask.
1306
01:04:57,928 --> 01:05:01,396
I know you guys are
undercover and this whole
thing is a setup, but...
1307
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:01,396
The other day
at the cobra club,
1308
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:05,333
was that about getting
me drunk and having me
betray my co-workers
1309
01:05:05,335 --> 01:05:10,639
or was that about two guys,
you know, maybe starting
a friendship?
1310
01:05:10,641 --> 01:05:13,942
It was about getting you drunk
and betraying your co-workers.
1311
01:05:14,543 --> 01:05:16,478
Oh, okay. Yeah.
1312
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,113
But the indoor skydiving...
1313
01:05:20,483 --> 01:05:21,583
That was about being friends.
1314
01:05:21,585 --> 01:05:24,419
Ha! See,
i told you we bonded.
1315
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:27,188
Okay. Remember,
nobody finds out about this.
1316
01:05:27,190 --> 01:05:28,490
No.
I won't even tell my mom.
-Okay?
1317
01:05:28,492 --> 01:05:30,592
Locking it up.
Hey, hey. Uh...
1318
01:05:30,594 --> 01:05:32,193
Oh, one other thing. Um...
1319
01:05:32,195 --> 01:05:35,196
I know I'm not
a licensed therapist, okay?
1320
01:05:35,198 --> 01:05:38,466
But talk, communicate
with one another, okay?
1321
01:05:38,468 --> 01:05:40,669
Jeff is big
on communication.
1322
01:05:41,637 --> 01:05:41,636
I communicate.
That's what I do.
1323
01:05:41,638 --> 01:05:44,472
- You sure do.
- Talk, talk, talk.
1324
01:05:44,474 --> 01:05:47,142
No, no, no, no, no.
You're absolutely right, Jeff.
1325
01:05:48,210 --> 01:05:50,145
Communication is
a great thing.
1326
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:53,715
-All right, I'll see you.
-Bye!
1327
01:05:53,717 --> 01:05:55,517
Thanks!
-I should go.
1328
01:05:55,519 --> 01:05:57,319
-Okay. Take care.
-See you.
1329
01:05:57,321 --> 01:05:59,120
That's so nice of you
to tell them that, honey.
1330
01:05:59,122 --> 01:06:00,555
Yeah.
1331
01:06:02,158 --> 01:06:04,092
I think the joneses
are going to be just fine.
1332
01:06:04,094 --> 01:06:05,360
Yeah.
1333
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:15,036
- After you, my dear.
- Thank you.
1334
01:06:29,418 --> 01:06:30,685
Timmy...
1335
01:06:54,143 --> 01:06:58,013
Well, it was most likely
just a gas leak. So...
1336
01:06:58,015 --> 01:07:00,081
Well, thank you
for your statements.
1337
01:07:00,083 --> 01:07:01,583
- Thank you very much.
- Good night.
1338
01:07:06,355 --> 01:07:08,123
Okay.
1339
01:07:08,125 --> 01:07:10,558
Whoever killed the joneses
are gonna come after us next.
1340
01:07:10,560 --> 01:07:13,595
Do you think we did
the right thing by lying
to the police?
1341
01:07:13,597 --> 01:07:16,097
We promised the Jones
that we wouldn't say anything.
1342
01:07:16,099 --> 01:07:17,699
Well, do you think that
promises count, honey,
1343
01:07:17,701 --> 01:07:19,434
when the people
that we made them to are dead?
1344
01:07:19,436 --> 01:07:21,369
Yes!
1345
01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:22,604
Plus,
i don't wanna be haunted.
1346
01:07:26,742 --> 01:07:28,209
They've taken
the barricades down.
1347
01:07:28,211 --> 01:07:29,511
Oh, my god!
1348
01:07:29,513 --> 01:07:31,413
All right, listen,
I'm gonna grab the essentials.
1349
01:07:31,415 --> 01:07:33,515
We're gonna need
our passports. We're gonna
need our birth certificates.
1350
01:07:33,517 --> 01:07:34,482
And we'll need some duct tape.
1351
01:07:34,484 --> 01:07:35,784
Get some peppercorns, too!
1352
01:07:35,786 --> 01:07:38,219
Mikey...
-Coffee, teas, goldfish.
1353
01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:40,422
I'm gonna get
these onions here.
1354
01:07:40,424 --> 01:07:42,590
-Don't take the onions, honey.
Put the onions back.
-No, no, no, no. Onions...
1355
01:07:42,592 --> 01:07:44,225
-You don't need onions.
-Well, I need...
1356
01:07:44,227 --> 01:07:46,394
Trail mix!
-I can't choose.
1357
01:07:46,396 --> 01:07:48,129
This is a 2,000-piece puzzle.
1358
01:07:48,131 --> 01:07:49,497
This is a weapon.
1359
01:07:49,499 --> 01:07:51,199
Yeah! Or we can
make chicken parm.
1360
01:07:51,201 --> 01:07:52,734
-It would be nice to have--
-what! You always buy this.
1361
01:07:52,736 --> 01:07:54,102
You should buy
the organic one. I've been
through this with you.
1362
01:07:54,104 --> 01:07:55,570
I don't wanna talk
about that right now.
1363
01:07:55,572 --> 01:07:57,405
Jeff, don't take
the ginger snaps!
1364
01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:58,773
I know, but we might need...
1365
01:07:58,775 --> 01:08:00,375
-Calm down, Jeff.
-Okay!
1366
01:08:01,410 --> 01:08:02,544
I'm taking this red bull.
1367
01:08:04,613 --> 01:08:05,780
Where are we going?
1368
01:08:05,782 --> 01:08:07,115
I don't know.
Anywhere. Just pack!
1369
01:08:07,117 --> 01:08:08,683
I've never been
on the run before, Karen.
1370
01:08:08,685 --> 01:08:11,086
I mean,
should I take a bikini,
in case it's gonna get hot?
1371
01:08:11,088 --> 01:08:14,089
No! A bathing suit?
Take socks!
Socks! I need my socks.
1372
01:08:14,091 --> 01:08:16,157
We gotta get the kids.
We gotta get my mom!
1373
01:08:16,159 --> 01:08:18,093
Don't bring her into this!
We said twice a year.
1374
01:08:18,095 --> 01:08:19,327
Christmas and easter!
1375
01:08:19,329 --> 01:08:21,496
--Oh, god! Okay. Okay.
1376
01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:26,201
Okay. You know what?
-Karen.
1377
01:08:26,203 --> 01:08:28,470
It's probably just a fuse.
1378
01:08:28,472 --> 01:08:32,440
Because a house exploded,
it could just be a problem
with the grid.
1379
01:08:32,442 --> 01:08:32,440
Yeah.
1380
01:08:32,442 --> 01:08:35,110
Maybe you should check
the fuse box, honey.
1381
01:08:35,112 --> 01:08:36,711
-Okay, yeah.
-And I'm gonna just...
1382
01:08:36,713 --> 01:08:38,313
Stay here and pack.
1383
01:08:39,782 --> 01:08:42,884
Maybe you should, uh,
go with me to the fuse box.
1384
01:08:42,886 --> 01:08:45,487
That way you're
not, uh, alone.
1385
01:08:45,489 --> 01:08:48,389
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Okay, here we go.
1386
01:08:48,391 --> 01:08:50,558
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. There we go.
1387
01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:52,227
There it is.
There it is.
1388
01:08:53,195 --> 01:08:55,897
Okay.
1389
01:08:55,899 --> 01:08:57,665
--It was just
the circuit breaker.
1390
01:08:57,667 --> 01:08:59,634
- It's okay.
-Good lord!
1391
01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:02,337
Shh. Don't scream.
It's not what you think.
1392
01:09:02,339 --> 01:09:05,240
What, you didn't kidnap
our friends and tie them
to chairs?
1393
01:09:07,144 --> 01:09:09,210
Well, it is what you think.
But it's not for the reasons
you think.
1394
01:09:10,412 --> 01:09:14,449
Dan is the one
selling secrets from mbi.
1395
01:09:14,451 --> 01:09:15,917
What?
-You're right.
She's very good.
1396
01:09:15,919 --> 01:09:15,917
Told you.
1397
01:09:15,919 --> 01:09:18,453
Dan, is that true?
1398
01:09:18,455 --> 01:09:21,322
And how are you two alive?
Your house exploded.
1399
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:24,325
Jeff, things aren't
always what they seem.
1400
01:09:24,327 --> 01:09:25,894
You should know that by now.
1401
01:09:44,580 --> 01:09:44,579
So?
1402
01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:47,682
How could you not tell me
you were feeling this way?
1403
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:47,682
Well, look...
1404
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:51,486
To be honest, you are not
exactly the easiest
woman in the world
1405
01:09:51,488 --> 01:09:52,820
for a man
to admit his fears to.
1406
01:09:52,822 --> 01:09:53,855
What?
1407
01:09:53,857 --> 01:09:55,390
How can you
say that to me?
1408
01:09:55,392 --> 01:09:57,258
I'm compassionate
and sensitive.
1409
01:09:57,260 --> 01:09:58,493
You can say
anything to me.
1410
01:10:00,263 --> 01:10:02,964
Well, calling me a pussy
in Hebrew is not
helping things.
1411
01:10:08,437 --> 01:10:09,737
Run.
1412
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:17,879
Whoa!
1413
01:10:17,881 --> 01:10:21,316
You dove headfirst
through a plate glass window?
1414
01:10:21,318 --> 01:10:23,318
It's not as hard as it seems.
1415
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:25,320
Okay, who's behind all this?
Who's trying to kill you?
1416
01:10:25,322 --> 01:10:28,790
It's an international arms
dealer who calls himself
the scorpion.
1417
01:10:28,792 --> 01:10:30,925
The agency's been
after him for years.
1418
01:10:30,927 --> 01:10:33,861
And your friends here
were about to sell him these.
1419
01:10:37,933 --> 01:10:39,300
That's what we make
at mbi?
1420
01:10:40,236 --> 01:10:41,236
What are these?
1421
01:10:41,238 --> 01:10:41,236
Microchips.
1422
01:10:41,238 --> 01:10:44,572
In the wrong hands,
the information on those chips
1423
01:10:44,574 --> 01:10:47,542
could be used to undermine
the entire U.S. missile
defense system.
1424
01:10:47,544 --> 01:10:50,745
For the last three months,
Dan's been smuggling them
out of the building.
1425
01:10:51,714 --> 01:10:51,713
Prison-style.
1426
01:10:51,715 --> 01:10:54,782
Wait. Prison-style?
What do you mean?
1427
01:10:54,784 --> 01:10:57,852
I think that means
he put 'em in a balloon
and stuck 'em up his butt.
1428
01:10:57,854 --> 01:10:59,320
What?
1429
01:10:59,322 --> 01:11:00,755
Oh, god!
1430
01:11:02,491 --> 01:11:03,925
Why did you do this, Dan?
1431
01:11:03,927 --> 01:11:08,429
That's exactly what
we're about to find out, Jeff.
1432
01:11:10,866 --> 01:11:10,865
Yeah.
1433
01:11:12,768 --> 01:11:14,869
--Tim! Um...
1434
01:11:14,871 --> 01:11:17,772
Spread your legs, Danny boy.
1435
01:11:17,774 --> 01:11:19,574
Mrs. Jones has
some work to do.
1436
01:11:19,576 --> 01:11:21,042
- Natalie...
1437
01:11:21,044 --> 01:11:23,845
Oh, Jesus. Jeff.
Jeff, please, do something!
1438
01:11:23,847 --> 01:11:25,346
Either you talk...
1439
01:11:25,348 --> 01:11:25,346
Jeff, stop her please!
She's a psychopath!
1440
01:11:25,348 --> 01:11:29,317
Tim, can I just have
a word with you guys
for one second, please?
1441
01:11:30,319 --> 01:11:31,886
Please don't hurt me.
Please.
1442
01:11:31,888 --> 01:11:33,755
- Okay, okay.
Get this psycho
away from me, Jeff.
1443
01:11:33,757 --> 01:11:34,956
Relax.
1444
01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:37,692
We're excited that
you guys are still alive.
1445
01:11:37,694 --> 01:11:41,529
But this is our basement.
This is not a abu ghraib,
you know, scenario here.
1446
01:11:41,531 --> 01:11:43,731
-Our kids play down here.
-I don't like it either.
1447
01:11:43,733 --> 01:11:45,667
But this is a
national security situation.
1448
01:11:45,669 --> 01:11:48,836
Yeah, but you can't torch
a man's scrotum and
expect him to speak.
1449
01:11:48,838 --> 01:11:49,937
You'd be surprised.
1450
01:11:49,939 --> 01:11:51,539
These are human beings.
1451
01:11:51,541 --> 01:11:53,875
You gotta connect
with them, okay?
1452
01:11:53,877 --> 01:11:55,009
Let me talk to 'em
for two minutes.
1453
01:11:55,011 --> 01:11:56,077
He's a people person.
1454
01:11:57,012 --> 01:11:58,079
You have 90 seconds.
1455
01:11:59,581 --> 01:12:00,515
Okey-dokey.
1456
01:12:08,090 --> 01:12:10,058
Okay, Meg.
1457
01:12:10,060 --> 01:12:10,992
Ow!
1458
01:12:16,632 --> 01:12:18,933
Dan, I, want you to know...
1459
01:12:18,935 --> 01:12:23,438
Like the hr department,
this basement is a place
of non-judgment, okay?
1460
01:12:23,440 --> 01:12:24,972
And even though
you stole from the company
1461
01:12:24,974 --> 01:12:27,675
and betrayed your country
and cul-de-sac,
1462
01:12:27,677 --> 01:12:27,675
and, you know,
1463
01:12:27,677 --> 01:12:31,612
placed microchips
in your darkest cavity,
1464
01:12:31,614 --> 01:12:31,612
mistakes happen!
1465
01:12:31,614 --> 01:12:36,050
Oh, my god! Can we
please waterboard them
and get this over with?
1466
01:12:37,052 --> 01:12:37,051
We live in confusing times.
1467
01:12:37,053 --> 01:12:41,923
And I think that the lines
between right and wrong
become blurry.
1468
01:12:41,925 --> 01:12:44,859
It's hard to even know
what those words mean,
isn't it, Dan?
1469
01:12:44,861 --> 01:12:46,928
What is this?
Good cop, good cop?
1470
01:12:46,930 --> 01:12:49,497
Look, I might not know
what's going on,
on the sixth floor,
1471
01:12:49,499 --> 01:12:53,901
but did you know
that every time
an employee requests a raise
1472
01:12:53,903 --> 01:12:55,470
it comes through
the hr department?
1473
01:12:55,472 --> 01:12:57,138
And I've seen your requests.
1474
01:12:57,140 --> 01:13:02,110
And I know that they've
been denied, every time,
for the last five years.
1475
01:13:02,112 --> 01:13:05,713
That's a lot of time, Dan.
Lot of good time you gave
to the company, huh?
1476
01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:07,382
Where's your
piece of the pie?
1477
01:13:07,384 --> 01:13:09,484
Exactly.
1478
01:13:09,486 --> 01:13:11,552
You know how hard it is
to raise four children on
a rocket scientist's salary?
1479
01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:13,488
Oh, god!
Shut up, you idiot!
1480
01:13:13,490 --> 01:13:15,857
No! You shut up, lady MacBeth!
1481
01:13:15,859 --> 01:13:17,592
Okay.
1482
01:13:17,594 --> 01:13:17,592
You're the one who
pushed me into this,
you know that?
1483
01:13:17,594 --> 01:13:21,662
-Okay.
-With all your constant
demands and trendy needs.
1484
01:13:21,664 --> 01:13:23,698
I did not tell you
to go on Jeff's computer
1485
01:13:23,700 --> 01:13:25,466
and make a deal
with an arms dealer!
1486
01:13:25,468 --> 01:13:27,101
Well, you didn't
tell me not to.
1487
01:13:28,037 --> 01:13:29,837
Jeff...
1488
01:13:30,839 --> 01:13:33,474
I was at the end of my rope.
1489
01:13:33,476 --> 01:13:35,643
I mean, the financial
pressure was crazy.
1490
01:13:35,645 --> 01:13:37,145
Groceries and tutors and...
1491
01:13:37,147 --> 01:13:40,481
I got four kids under 13
in braces.
1492
01:13:41,450 --> 01:13:42,950
Do you understand?
Do you, Jeff?
1493
01:13:42,952 --> 01:13:45,086
I do. You know I do.
1494
01:13:45,088 --> 01:13:46,621
I mean,
1495
01:13:46,623 --> 01:13:47,989
if kids have crooked teeth,
1496
01:13:47,991 --> 01:13:49,524
we can't have crooked teeth
in this society.
1497
01:13:49,526 --> 01:13:52,059
This isn't Great Britain,
you know?
1498
01:13:52,061 --> 01:13:55,196
There's all sorts of things
you have to
keep up with and...
1499
01:13:55,198 --> 01:13:57,799
New tires for the minivan,
piano lessons,
1500
01:13:57,801 --> 01:13:59,734
you know, and,
because all that...
1501
01:14:02,070 --> 01:14:03,938
Carl pronger is dead!
1502
01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:06,808
Hang on!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Get a hold of yourself!
1503
01:14:06,810 --> 01:14:09,577
--I never wanted anyone
to get hurt, Jeff. I swear.
1504
01:14:09,579 --> 01:14:11,078
We were protecting you.
1505
01:14:11,080 --> 01:14:13,648
The scorpion doesn't even
know who you are. Karen!
1506
01:14:13,650 --> 01:14:15,082
Shut up, Meg!
1507
01:14:15,084 --> 01:14:16,517
Brooklyn loft is stupid.
1508
01:14:16,519 --> 01:14:17,452
All right, not helping.
1509
01:14:17,454 --> 01:14:18,553
I'm crying.
1510
01:14:18,555 --> 01:14:19,587
Where did you get an onion?
1511
01:14:19,589 --> 01:14:19,587
- Who? Me?
- Yeah, you.
1512
01:14:19,589 --> 01:14:23,524
I got it from upstairs.
From our kitchen.
1513
01:14:30,599 --> 01:14:32,834
Is this your phone?
Is this the scorpion calling?
1514
01:14:32,836 --> 01:14:34,202
I'm gonna answer this
and you're gonna talk to him.
1515
01:14:34,204 --> 01:14:36,070
And you're gonna
lead us to him.
1516
01:14:36,072 --> 01:14:37,238
He'll sniff me out
in a second.
You know what he's capable of.
1517
01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:39,707
-Answer the phone now.
-Natalie...
1518
01:14:39,709 --> 01:14:41,175
No more games.
1519
01:14:41,177 --> 01:14:44,078
Oh, look, I can't.
I'm not a spy!
I'm a soccer dad!
1520
01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:45,880
--He never misses a game.
1521
01:14:45,882 --> 01:14:47,815
Oh, my god. All right,
I'm gonna answer it.
1522
01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,650
No, we can't.
Our cover was blown,
remember?
1523
01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:50,818
Well, I don't have
a lot of options.
1524
01:14:50,820 --> 01:14:51,986
What do you want me to do?
1525
01:14:56,692 --> 01:14:56,691
Hello?
1526
01:14:56,693 --> 01:15:00,094
Hello? Mr. rascal flatts?
1527
01:15:02,231 --> 01:15:04,265
I needed a cover name.
1528
01:15:04,267 --> 01:15:06,067
Hello?
1529
01:15:06,069 --> 01:15:08,135
Hi! Um.
1530
01:15:08,137 --> 01:15:10,571
Yes, this is rascal.
1531
01:15:10,573 --> 01:15:12,874
Are you and your wife
ready to make the deal?
1532
01:15:16,879 --> 01:15:19,580
Yes, uh, Mrs. flatts and i
are very excited about it.
1533
01:15:19,582 --> 01:15:23,718
Tomorrow night.
The odyssey hotel. 9:00 P.M.
1534
01:15:23,720 --> 01:15:27,054
Go to the v-bar. A table
will be reserved for you.
1535
01:15:27,056 --> 01:15:29,790
Bring the requested item
and wait.
1536
01:15:29,792 --> 01:15:32,727
Uh, v-bar. Okay, uh,
thank you very much.
1537
01:15:32,729 --> 01:15:35,229
Oh, just out of curiosity,
is there a dress code?
1538
01:15:36,799 --> 01:15:39,267
I'll... I can look
that up online.
1539
01:15:39,269 --> 01:15:41,702
Okay.
1540
01:15:43,773 --> 01:15:44,839
What have I done?
1541
01:15:44,841 --> 01:15:46,541
Oh, no, no.
You did everything great!
1542
01:15:47,075 --> 01:15:48,142
You did everything great.
1543
01:15:48,144 --> 01:15:48,142
-Okay.
-You did!
1544
01:15:48,144 --> 01:15:51,646
- I did.
Jeff and Karen,
welcome to
1545
01:15:51,648 --> 01:15:53,147
the sexy and exciting world
1546
01:15:53,149 --> 01:15:56,284
of international espionage
and covert operations.
1547
01:15:59,788 --> 01:16:01,956
Buddy, I think it's time
we get you in a proper suit.
1548
01:16:01,958 --> 01:16:04,025
Oh, nice!
Is it an extra medium?
1549
01:16:04,027 --> 01:16:05,626
A killer dress.
1550
01:16:06,628 --> 01:16:06,627
That's all of it?
1551
01:16:06,629 --> 01:16:10,298
This tie has been fitted
with a miniature
surveillance mic.
1552
01:16:10,300 --> 01:16:12,700
It's completely undetectable.
1553
01:16:12,702 --> 01:16:15,002
Oh, I don't know
if I can walk in these.
1554
01:16:15,004 --> 01:16:16,904
The heel is equipped
with a tracking device
1555
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:19,307
that allows us to monitor
your every move.
1556
01:16:19,309 --> 01:16:22,577
Natalie and I will secure
a position right upstairs
on the roof.
1557
01:16:22,579 --> 01:16:24,712
And establish
a command center.
1558
01:16:24,714 --> 01:16:27,615
Now, you know at some point,
you're gonna have to
put on pants.
1559
01:16:27,617 --> 01:16:29,784
Yeah. I know.
I'm just nervous still.
1560
01:16:29,786 --> 01:16:30,818
It's gonna be okay.
1561
01:16:30,820 --> 01:16:32,620
Simple in and out job.
1562
01:16:32,622 --> 01:16:34,789
Make the exchange,
leave the hotel.
1563
01:16:34,791 --> 01:16:38,192
Got it. In and out.
Um, just out of curiosity,
1564
01:16:38,194 --> 01:16:41,829
what happens, you know,
worst-case scenario?
1565
01:16:41,831 --> 01:16:43,631
-Worst-case scenario?
-Mm-hmm.
1566
01:16:43,633 --> 01:16:45,766
We radio for backup,
and we storm the place
1567
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:47,735
with the full force
of the United States
government.
1568
01:16:48,203 --> 01:16:49,904
Okay. Got it.
1569
01:16:49,906 --> 01:16:51,305
-Okay?
-Yeah.
1570
01:16:51,307 --> 01:16:53,074
You look good.
1571
01:16:53,076 --> 01:16:55,142
Don't forget those pants.
1572
01:17:20,102 --> 01:17:21,636
Reminds me of our first date.
1573
01:17:23,772 --> 01:17:24,972
And our second.
1574
01:17:27,710 --> 01:17:28,676
What's wrong?
1575
01:17:30,846 --> 01:17:33,981
We never really did finish
that conversation, did we?
1576
01:17:33,983 --> 01:17:36,684
Well, the house did explode.
1577
01:17:36,686 --> 01:17:38,986
So...
1578
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:43,024
Look, I just want you
to know I realized
something last night
1579
01:17:43,026 --> 01:17:45,259
when I was about to fry
Dan's testicles.
1580
01:17:46,261 --> 01:17:48,129
I know I'm not
the best listener,
1581
01:17:48,131 --> 01:17:49,864
but I can change.
1582
01:17:49,866 --> 01:17:52,400
--What? You don't think I can?
1583
01:17:52,402 --> 01:17:55,002
--No, no, no. I know you can.
1584
01:17:58,940 --> 01:18:00,808
Just don't change
too much, okay?
1585
01:18:02,978 --> 01:18:04,011
Okay.
1586
01:18:18,461 --> 01:18:20,995
Honey, are you ready?
What are you doing?
1587
01:18:20,997 --> 01:18:23,297
- I was just listening
to some rascal flatts.
1588
01:18:23,299 --> 01:18:23,297
Trying to get into character.
1589
01:18:23,299 --> 01:18:27,735
Oh, god! Patrick leaves
these toys on the stairs.
1590
01:18:27,737 --> 01:18:30,838
-Somebody's gonna
hurt themselves.
-Karen!
1591
01:18:31,973 --> 01:18:33,741
What? Do you like it?
Is it too much?
1592
01:18:33,743 --> 01:18:35,943
No! Not at all.
It's just enough.
1593
01:18:35,945 --> 01:18:38,879
-Oh, thanks, honey.
-Is this the lingerie you were
wearing the other day?
1594
01:18:38,881 --> 01:18:41,015
Yeah, I figured
if we're gonna do this,
i should do it right.
1595
01:18:41,017 --> 01:18:43,050
Yeah.
1596
01:18:44,019 --> 01:18:45,186
You look so handsome.
1597
01:18:45,188 --> 01:18:47,254
Oh, thank you very much.
1598
01:18:47,256 --> 01:18:48,889
How much time until
we have to be at the hotel?
1599
01:18:48,891 --> 01:18:50,891
We've got 45 minutes.
1600
01:19:02,404 --> 01:19:05,272
-Oh, Karen. Oh, Karen.
-Jeff,
1601
01:19:05,274 --> 01:19:07,141
your tie's stuck.
1602
01:19:07,143 --> 01:19:09,310
- Karen!
-Oh! Sorry, honey.
1603
01:19:15,350 --> 01:19:16,484
What?
1604
01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:19,220
I think they're having sex.
1605
01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:22,990
God damn it,
we don't have time for this.
1606
01:19:22,992 --> 01:19:24,825
I mean, they're supposed to be
here in 45 minutes.
1607
01:19:28,163 --> 01:19:29,764
Nope, they are done.
1608
01:19:31,867 --> 01:19:32,967
All right.
1609
01:20:00,195 --> 01:20:03,798
Oh, wow! Look, honey.
Beautiful design!
1610
01:20:03,800 --> 01:20:05,966
- Hey, Karen.
-Yeah?
1611
01:20:05,968 --> 01:20:08,202
-Thanks so much
for the sex.
-Aww...
1612
01:20:14,477 --> 01:20:16,143
Go.
1613
01:20:16,145 --> 01:20:17,578
Hello!
1614
01:20:17,580 --> 01:20:19,013
-Um...
-Hi.
1615
01:20:19,015 --> 01:20:21,081
Hi. We have a reservation
for two
1616
01:20:21,083 --> 01:20:23,450
-under the name rascal flatts.
-Flatts.
1617
01:20:23,452 --> 01:20:24,585
It's not our real name.
1618
01:20:24,587 --> 01:20:26,987
- We're having an affair.
1619
01:20:26,989 --> 01:20:28,088
Come with me.
1620
01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:34,261
Hey, Tim. We're in
the restaurant right now.
Everything's going okay.
1621
01:20:34,930 --> 01:20:36,430
Honey, Sushi.
1622
01:20:36,432 --> 01:20:39,066
There's Sushi as well.
I'm gonna sign off
for right now.
1623
01:20:39,568 --> 01:20:41,068
Ciao.
1624
01:20:42,304 --> 01:20:44,438
-Oh, that's our table.
-No, this way.
1625
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:47,975
Really?
1626
01:20:50,445 --> 01:20:52,513
Thank you so much.
1627
01:20:56,084 --> 01:20:58,319
Is this the line
to the little boys' room?
I don't need to use it.
1628
01:20:58,321 --> 01:20:59,320
Come.
1629
01:21:01,857 --> 01:21:04,859
I'm confused. Oh, I...
1630
01:21:04,861 --> 01:21:06,193
It's part of the...
1631
01:21:06,195 --> 01:21:07,895
I thought it was just
gonna be us.
1632
01:21:07,897 --> 01:21:09,496
You fellas with the scorpion?
1633
01:21:16,205 --> 01:21:17,972
All right,
they're on the move.
1634
01:21:18,874 --> 01:21:20,074
Moving into position.
1635
01:21:32,387 --> 01:21:33,587
Thank you.
1636
01:21:41,196 --> 01:21:43,163
There he is. Rascal flatts.
1637
01:21:43,165 --> 01:21:44,665
You have any trouble
finding the place?
1638
01:21:44,667 --> 01:21:47,501
No. Your henchmen were very...
I'm a little ticklish there.
1639
01:21:47,503 --> 01:21:47,501
Your henchmen were
very helpful.
1640
01:21:47,503 --> 01:21:52,306
This must be the wife. Wow!
You guys really dressed up
for tonight.
1641
01:21:52,308 --> 01:21:54,909
Thank you. Yeah.
Well, we don't get out
very often.
1642
01:21:54,911 --> 01:21:57,077
So, when we do, we,
we really like to make
the most of it.
1643
01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:58,345
Awesome.
1644
01:21:58,347 --> 01:22:00,681
-Ivan?
-All clear.
1645
01:22:00,683 --> 01:22:04,084
Sorry about the frisking.
You cannot be too careful
in my line of work.
1646
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:05,452
Let me make it up to you
1647
01:22:05,454 --> 01:22:08,555
with some very expensive,
very delicious champagne.
1648
01:22:10,058 --> 01:22:11,625
Wow! Look at that gun.
1649
01:22:11,627 --> 01:22:13,093
--And by the way,
1650
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:16,230
you two have gotta try
this dip. It's amazing.
1651
01:22:16,232 --> 01:22:18,699
It's a cheat day for me,
so I went a little crazy
with room service.
1652
01:22:18,701 --> 01:22:20,501
I hope you don't mind.
1653
01:22:20,503 --> 01:22:22,636
Well, Mrs. flatts makes
a great seven-layer dip.
I'll tell you that.
1654
01:22:22,638 --> 01:22:22,636
Oh, I bet she does.
1655
01:22:22,638 --> 01:22:28,275
I do. The secret is, uh,
an extra layer.
An eight-layer dip.
1656
01:22:28,277 --> 01:22:30,411
Oh! Sneaky! I love that.
1657
01:22:30,413 --> 01:22:32,246
Mmm.
1658
01:22:34,049 --> 01:22:35,683
Do I know you from somewhere?
1659
01:22:37,185 --> 01:22:38,519
I seriously doubt it.
1660
01:22:39,421 --> 01:22:40,688
He's a people person.
1661
01:22:40,690 --> 01:22:43,057
Come on, Jeff.
Stay calm.
1662
01:22:43,059 --> 01:22:43,057
Just do what we talked about.
1663
01:22:43,059 --> 01:22:49,096
Well, did the people person
bring this person
his computer chips?
1664
01:22:49,098 --> 01:22:51,231
Oh, yes. Yes, yes.
You'll find them right here.
1665
01:22:51,233 --> 01:22:53,367
Careful.
1666
01:23:09,050 --> 01:23:11,285
Denver, 2010.
1667
01:23:11,287 --> 01:23:13,253
Were you at the national
aerospace convention?
1668
01:23:13,255 --> 01:23:15,622
Because I think we were
in the same focus group.
1669
01:23:16,558 --> 01:23:18,292
Are we still doing this?
1670
01:23:18,294 --> 01:23:20,194
No, we're n-- it's done.
It's really done.
It's so done.
1671
01:23:20,196 --> 01:23:21,729
Why does he keep
asking those questions?
1672
01:23:21,731 --> 01:23:24,598
I don't think he can help it.
It's just what he does.
1673
01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:27,301
He connects with people.
1674
01:23:27,303 --> 01:23:29,436
Perfect, as promised.
-Shit.
1675
01:23:29,438 --> 01:23:30,771
Ivan?
1676
01:23:34,476 --> 01:23:37,411
-Whoa, okay.
Here we go. Thank you.
-Whoa!
1677
01:23:37,413 --> 01:23:39,446
-Okay! We got it. Great.
-Yeah. That checks out.
1678
01:23:39,448 --> 01:23:41,648
Well, pleasure doing business
with both of you.
1679
01:23:41,650 --> 01:23:44,084
Thank you, Mr. scorpion
and friends.
1680
01:23:44,086 --> 01:23:46,720
Thank you. Yeah.
Okay. Grab that stuff...
1681
01:23:48,490 --> 01:23:50,657
Hey! You drop
your little ball.
1682
01:23:50,659 --> 01:23:52,459
Oh, that's fine. We have...
I have plenty of those.
1683
01:23:52,461 --> 01:23:54,428
Keep it. Keep it. It's a...
1684
01:23:54,430 --> 01:23:56,230
Excuse me.
-Stop!
1685
01:24:03,705 --> 01:24:05,339
You're the hr guy.
1686
01:24:05,341 --> 01:24:07,741
No, he's not.
He's an engineer.
He... Dr. flatts.
1687
01:24:07,743 --> 01:24:09,643
-Yeah, I'm in
the rocket sciences.
-He went to college!
1688
01:24:09,645 --> 01:24:12,212
- He's very smart. Mit.
- No.
1689
01:24:12,214 --> 01:24:13,347
No.
1690
01:24:13,349 --> 01:24:14,415
You were right.
1691
01:24:14,417 --> 01:24:16,183
We have met before.
1692
01:24:16,185 --> 01:24:21,722
See, from '02 to '05,
i was a mid-level
drone at mbi.
1693
01:24:21,724 --> 01:24:25,159
-And you are Jeff gaffney.
-No.
1694
01:24:25,161 --> 01:24:25,159
-Human resources.
-Wrong.
1695
01:24:25,161 --> 01:24:30,064
- Yeah. You helped me
with my "suicidal depression."
No.
1696
01:24:30,066 --> 01:24:33,634
-With your little trust
exercises and stress balls!
-Ow!
1697
01:24:33,636 --> 01:24:35,436
This entire thing is a setup!
1698
01:24:35,438 --> 01:24:37,738
Goddamn it, Jeff!
1699
01:24:37,740 --> 01:24:40,307
Decoys have been made.
I repeat,
decoys have been made.
1700
01:24:40,309 --> 01:24:41,642
We need to extract.
Do you copy?
1701
01:24:41,644 --> 01:24:44,478
Carlos, take a team out,
lock the hallway down.
1702
01:24:44,480 --> 01:24:47,081
Yuri, take four guys up
the stairwell to the roof.
1703
01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:49,550
Radio the helicopter,
we are getting the hell
out of here.
1704
01:24:49,552 --> 01:24:52,519
We need backup to extract
the decoys. Do you copy?
1705
01:24:52,521 --> 01:24:54,688
Negative.
Collateral damage.
1706
01:24:54,690 --> 01:24:57,691
We cannot engage
in a public arena.
Pull back and abort.
1707
01:24:57,693 --> 01:24:59,193
Do you copy?
1708
01:25:00,462 --> 01:25:02,362
Jones, do you copy?
1709
01:25:02,364 --> 01:25:05,566
- Boris, get some ice tongs
and a cigarette lighter.
1710
01:25:05,568 --> 01:25:09,603
Goddamn it, Jones.
Do you copy?
1711
01:25:09,605 --> 01:25:13,207
Copy, copy.
Pulling out.
I repeat, pulling out.
1712
01:25:13,209 --> 01:25:15,142
We'll meet you
at the extraction point.
1713
01:25:18,480 --> 01:25:20,114
You really wanna
just leave them in there?
1714
01:25:20,648 --> 01:25:21,782
Of course not.
1715
01:25:23,318 --> 01:25:26,186
They're our neighbors.
1716
01:25:26,188 --> 01:25:27,788
Sweetie,
everything's fine, okay?
1717
01:25:27,790 --> 01:25:30,224
That's why I rent
the extra henchmen,
for situations like this.
1718
01:25:30,226 --> 01:25:31,859
- Is it Peter? No.
-That's why I paid
1719
01:25:31,861 --> 01:25:33,594
- for the whole floor.
-Honey,
what are you doing?
1720
01:25:33,596 --> 01:25:35,562
-I'm trying to figure out
his name.
-Chopper to the jet.
1721
01:25:35,564 --> 01:25:36,830
We'll be in Jakarta
by morning,
1722
01:25:36,832 --> 01:25:38,298
-and when we get there, i--
-Bruce.
1723
01:25:40,268 --> 01:25:41,735
You talking to me?
1724
01:25:41,737 --> 01:25:44,438
I remember your name.
Your name is Bruce.
1725
01:25:45,206 --> 01:25:45,205
Bruce springstine.
1726
01:25:45,207 --> 01:25:49,610
I... no, I think you have me
confused with somebody else.
1727
01:25:49,612 --> 01:25:52,179
Nah, I'm the one that mediated
your parking space dispute.
1728
01:25:52,181 --> 01:25:55,249
Is that what caused you
to go into a life of crime?
1729
01:25:55,251 --> 01:25:58,285
-A bruised ego
over a lousy parking space?
-Jesus Christ!
1730
01:25:58,287 --> 01:26:00,454
What is this? What is this?
Amateur night?
1731
01:26:00,456 --> 01:26:01,622
Wait a second.
1732
01:26:01,624 --> 01:26:04,491
Your name is
Bruce springstine?
1733
01:26:04,493 --> 01:26:07,227
Yes, Ivan, it is.
It's Bruce springstine
1734
01:26:07,229 --> 01:26:09,296
and it's a perfectly good name
like any other name.
1735
01:26:09,298 --> 01:26:12,199
And, uh, you wanted us
to call you the boss?
1736
01:26:12,201 --> 01:26:14,668
I didn't want you guys
to call me "the boss."
1737
01:26:14,670 --> 01:26:16,470
I wanted you
to call me, "boss."
1738
01:26:16,472 --> 01:26:19,907
All right? And that's just
for simplicity's sake. Okay?
1739
01:26:19,909 --> 01:26:19,907
That's just sad.
1740
01:26:19,909 --> 01:26:24,211
And that parking space thing
was bullshit, all right?
1741
01:26:24,213 --> 01:26:25,712
I'd been there
for three years!
1742
01:26:25,714 --> 01:26:27,247
They still had me in lot d!
1743
01:26:27,249 --> 01:26:29,850
That's the other side
of the highway, okay?
1744
01:26:29,852 --> 01:26:29,850
I had to cross the...
1745
01:26:29,852 --> 01:26:32,686
-The footbridge thing. Yeah!
-The little... the footbridge!
1746
01:26:32,688 --> 01:26:34,288
A footbridge, every day,
1747
01:26:34,290 --> 01:26:35,422
rain or shine!
1748
01:26:35,424 --> 01:26:35,422
So, thank you.
1749
01:26:35,424 --> 01:26:38,525
- I am really going
to enjoy this.
Okay, okay.
1750
01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:39,893
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
- -No!
1751
01:26:40,895 --> 01:26:40,894
Oh, good. Seal team's here.
1752
01:26:40,896 --> 01:26:40,894
- Go, go, go! Get down,
get down, get down!
1753
01:26:40,896 --> 01:26:48,268
- Go, boys! Go, go, go!
Shock and awe! Shock and awe!
1754
01:26:52,374 --> 01:26:54,641
Honey, I can't hear anything.
1755
01:26:54,643 --> 01:26:57,878
They're silent killers.
That's how they got bin laden.
Let's just stay down, okay?
1756
01:26:57,880 --> 01:26:58,812
Okay.
1757
01:26:59,514 --> 01:27:00,614
Ahem!
1758
01:27:07,589 --> 01:27:10,290
Where's...
Where's the backup?
1759
01:27:10,292 --> 01:27:11,491
Those guys are with him.
1760
01:27:11,493 --> 01:27:12,993
There's no backup, Jeff.
1761
01:27:12,995 --> 01:27:14,828
They pulled out
when you blew your cover.
1762
01:27:14,830 --> 01:27:17,831
-Oh!
-What do-- what do you mean
there's no backup?
1763
01:27:17,833 --> 01:27:20,567
You're what they call
"collateral damage."
1764
01:27:20,569 --> 01:27:22,402
-That's not good.
I saw it on homeland!
-Well, can't...
1765
01:27:22,404 --> 01:27:24,838
What do you me--
you didn't say anything
about collateral damage!
1766
01:27:24,840 --> 01:27:26,840
I asked you about
the worst-case scenario
and you said,
1767
01:27:26,842 --> 01:27:28,909
"well,
the worst-case scenario,
I'll have backup."
1768
01:27:28,911 --> 01:27:32,679
Well, this is worse!
This is worse
than the worst-case scenario.
1769
01:27:32,681 --> 01:27:32,679
You lied to our faces.
1770
01:27:32,681 --> 01:27:38,585
I did not lie to you.
I... now, I may have left out
a few key details...
1771
01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:39,987
That's a lie, Timothy!
1772
01:27:39,989 --> 01:27:41,989
That, that is lying
by omission.
That's textbook--
1773
01:27:41,991 --> 01:27:45,592
you know what? My whole job
is lying. Okay? That's why
i fucking hate it!
1774
01:27:47,829 --> 01:27:49,963
- I'm sorry, Jeff.
- You're apologizing to him?
1775
01:27:49,965 --> 01:27:52,399
You can't possibly care
about this loser.
1776
01:27:52,401 --> 01:27:56,503
You know what? I actually
do care about this loser.
1777
01:27:56,505 --> 01:27:58,772
I mean, you and I live
in a world where
everybody lies.
1778
01:27:58,774 --> 01:28:01,742
And everybody hides everything
and obfuscates.
1779
01:28:01,744 --> 01:28:05,279
But, not... not Jeff gaffney.
1780
01:28:05,281 --> 01:28:08,315
Jeff doesn't live
in that world.
He's an honest person.
1781
01:28:08,317 --> 01:28:12,519
He's forthright,
he's friendly.
He's a good neighbor.
1782
01:28:12,521 --> 01:28:17,457
Do you have any idea how much
courage that takes?
Real courage?
1783
01:28:17,459 --> 01:28:19,026
For my money,
he's the bravest guy
in this room.
1784
01:28:20,395 --> 01:28:20,394
Oh, please.
1785
01:28:20,396 --> 01:28:22,829
- Spare me the morality!
- Hey!
1786
01:28:22,831 --> 01:28:25,032
Just hear me out, all right?
1787
01:28:25,034 --> 01:28:27,067
Look, the gaffneys,
they don't belong
in our world.
1788
01:28:27,069 --> 01:28:29,303
We don't.
We really don't.
1789
01:28:29,305 --> 01:28:31,705
Okay?
They're too good for that.
1790
01:28:31,707 --> 01:28:33,974
Why don't we let them go
back to their world.
1791
01:28:33,976 --> 01:28:35,942
And then you and I,
1792
01:28:35,944 --> 01:28:37,644
we can settle this here?
1793
01:28:37,646 --> 01:28:39,813
Here in our world.
1794
01:28:39,815 --> 01:28:40,914
You guys can go
murder each other
1795
01:28:40,916 --> 01:28:42,816
and stuff.
Just leave us out of this.
1796
01:28:42,818 --> 01:28:44,751
You know what?
I'm just gonna take care of
everything myself. Bruno,
1797
01:28:44,753 --> 01:28:46,853
lay the plastic sheeting out.
I don't wanna lose
the security deposit.
1798
01:28:46,855 --> 01:28:49,690
-Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
-Can I finish a thought today?
1799
01:28:49,692 --> 01:28:52,092
I'm so sorry, Mr. scorpion.
1800
01:28:52,094 --> 01:28:53,593
But, uh, Natalie,
1801
01:28:54,729 --> 01:28:56,797
ever since we tried on
underwear together...
1802
01:28:56,799 --> 01:28:58,665
-I'm sorry.
You talking to her?
-Mm-hmm.
1803
01:28:58,667 --> 01:29:00,033
Finish your thought.
1804
01:29:00,035 --> 01:29:02,436
I realized something.
1805
01:29:03,772 --> 01:29:05,339
I've been living a lie, also.
1806
01:29:09,678 --> 01:29:11,712
Karen!
1807
01:29:11,714 --> 01:29:12,846
What is happening to my life?
1808
01:29:25,093 --> 01:29:25,092
Oh, my god!
1809
01:29:25,094 --> 01:29:28,662
-How long have you been
living that lie?
-Oh, honey!
1810
01:29:28,664 --> 01:29:31,565
What? No! I didn't mean it.
I just had to get the knife
to her somehow!
1811
01:29:31,567 --> 01:29:36,002
Oh, okay! I get it now.
Oh, god! Thank god!
Okay, it's gonna be okay.
1812
01:29:49,618 --> 01:29:50,784
It's raining men!
1813
01:29:55,823 --> 01:29:56,823
You guys okay?
1814
01:29:56,825 --> 01:29:58,592
Grab the chips and follow us.
1815
01:29:58,594 --> 01:29:59,726
Come on, let's go.
1816
01:30:08,469 --> 01:30:09,669
-Chopper's ready.
-Yeah, get 'em.
1817
01:30:09,671 --> 01:30:10,670
And get the chips!
1818
01:30:12,941 --> 01:30:15,509
- Get back, get back, get back!
1819
01:30:19,815 --> 01:30:20,914
I'm almost out.
1820
01:30:20,916 --> 01:30:22,849
Me too.
1821
01:30:22,851 --> 01:30:26,720
What are we gonna do?
1822
01:30:26,722 --> 01:30:29,556
- We'll have to jump for it.
-Jump? Jump from where?
1823
01:30:29,558 --> 01:30:30,724
Down there.
1824
01:30:30,726 --> 01:30:32,092
There's a pool down below.
1825
01:30:33,060 --> 01:30:34,795
It's our only chance.
1826
01:30:34,797 --> 01:30:36,129
Did you think
any of this through?
1827
01:30:36,131 --> 01:30:37,731
Okay.
1828
01:30:39,535 --> 01:30:41,168
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Where are you going?
1829
01:30:45,174 --> 01:30:47,841
- Jeff? Jeff!
1830
01:30:48,776 --> 01:30:50,811
Oh, Jeff. Jeff are you okay?
1831
01:30:50,813 --> 01:30:53,480
--I just farted.
-Buddy! Buddy! You can't jump
through the window like that.
1832
01:30:53,482 --> 01:30:55,682
That's triple pane glass!
You gotta break it first.
1833
01:30:55,684 --> 01:30:57,517
--Appreciate the effort though.
1834
01:30:57,519 --> 01:30:58,985
Scoot back, everybody,
all right? Just scoot back.
1835
01:31:01,122 --> 01:31:02,923
- Get outta the way.
1836
01:31:05,993 --> 01:31:07,527
Really?
1837
01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:08,895
Stand back!
1838
01:31:08,897 --> 01:31:10,163
What? Oh.
1839
01:31:15,069 --> 01:31:16,203
Where'd you get that?
1840
01:31:16,205 --> 01:31:17,904
I picked it up
off a dead guy.
1841
01:31:17,906 --> 01:31:19,873
-I thought he didn't need it.
-Run!
1842
01:31:19,875 --> 01:31:19,873
-Out of the window!
-All right. Come on.
We're doing this. Let's go!
1843
01:31:19,875 --> 01:31:22,175
- Now! Now!
- Jump! Jump! Jump!
1844
01:31:24,879 --> 01:31:26,746
Whoa!
1845
01:31:29,918 --> 01:31:31,651
It's okay, everybody.
It's okay.
1846
01:31:31,653 --> 01:31:32,819
Where's Jeff?
1847
01:31:32,821 --> 01:31:33,887
Guys, where's Jeff?
1848
01:31:38,025 --> 01:31:39,226
Jeff! Jeff, you've gotta...
1849
01:31:39,228 --> 01:31:41,027
-Jeff, you've gotta jump!
-Jeff!
1850
01:31:41,029 --> 01:31:42,729
Jeff!
-Give me a second.
1851
01:31:42,731 --> 01:31:44,764
- Jeff, jump! Please!
- Just run and jump!
1852
01:31:46,768 --> 01:31:50,136
Uh... this is perfect.
1853
01:31:50,138 --> 01:31:52,906
You've been a pain
in my ass all day, Jeff.
1854
01:31:52,908 --> 01:31:55,976
Okay, li...
Bru... Mr. scorpion,
1855
01:31:55,978 --> 01:31:58,078
we all make choices
in life and I...
1856
01:31:58,080 --> 01:32:00,280
I'm not being judgmental,
i promise you,
1857
01:32:00,282 --> 01:32:03,683
but do you really think that
violence is the solution?
There's this exer--
1858
01:32:06,588 --> 01:32:08,154
he's all yours, gravity.
1859
01:32:18,766 --> 01:32:20,300
And that's why
you don't sting the...
1860
01:32:29,877 --> 01:32:31,645
Always have plan b.
1861
01:32:52,833 --> 01:32:54,834
I know
it seemed a lot higher.
1862
01:32:54,836 --> 01:32:54,834
Thank you very much.
That's for you. Keep it all.
1863
01:32:54,836 --> 01:32:57,671
Maybe you could videotape that
and put it online.
1864
01:32:57,673 --> 01:32:59,205
Where did you get
the gun from?
1865
01:32:59,207 --> 01:33:00,974
Well, no. I don't think we're
gonna keep any of that online.
1866
01:33:00,976 --> 01:33:02,208
Where did you get
the gun from?
1867
01:33:02,210 --> 01:33:02,208
That would get a lot of hits,
wouldn't it?
1868
01:33:02,210 --> 01:33:04,110
And I lined it up,
and smashed.
1869
01:33:04,112 --> 01:33:04,110
Because there's shooting...
1870
01:33:04,112 --> 01:33:04,110
-Probably wanna keep it
a little on the down low.
-You just took it. Amazing.
1871
01:33:04,112 --> 01:33:09,716
Yes. Of course.
Yeah, no, no,
of course. Yes. Yes.
1872
01:33:09,718 --> 01:33:10,850
I'm just saying.
1873
01:33:10,852 --> 01:33:12,586
I'm so proud of you guys.
1874
01:33:12,588 --> 01:33:14,354
-You guys wanna come inside?
-Yeah, come in.
1875
01:33:14,356 --> 01:33:16,590
Where are you guys staying?
1876
01:33:16,592 --> 01:33:18,658
-You could stay with us!
-Stay with us!
1877
01:33:18,660 --> 01:33:20,860
Why wouldn't you stay with us?
We have a pull-out couch.
1878
01:33:20,862 --> 01:33:23,897
You can borrow some of
my boxer briefs if you need
anything to lounge in.
1879
01:33:23,899 --> 01:33:25,765
- I've got... a Wii.
We've got
a flat screen TV!
1880
01:33:25,767 --> 01:33:27,334
We have, uh, free Wi-Fi.
1881
01:33:27,336 --> 01:33:29,269
-You guys are great! Really.
-It's very nice of you
to offer.
1882
01:33:30,171 --> 01:33:31,204
But...
1883
01:33:31,206 --> 01:33:31,204
Our ride is coming.
1884
01:33:31,206 --> 01:33:35,742
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
You got your things
you have to do.
1885
01:33:35,744 --> 01:33:37,077
Your missions.
1886
01:33:45,086 --> 01:33:46,319
Is that an uber?
1887
01:33:46,321 --> 01:33:47,821
Sort of.
1888
01:33:50,191 --> 01:33:52,125
-Hug?
-Just a hug?
1889
01:33:52,127 --> 01:33:53,660
- Just a hug.
1890
01:33:54,729 --> 01:33:56,730
Thank you.
You're an amazing woman.
1891
01:33:57,665 --> 01:34:00,867
- Thank you.
1892
01:34:00,869 --> 01:34:03,737
You made an incredible life
for yourself here, Jeff.
1893
01:34:03,739 --> 01:34:06,206
Just remember to leave
the cul-de-sac,
every now and again.
1894
01:34:06,208 --> 01:34:08,775
You'd be surprised
at what you find out there.
1895
01:34:11,746 --> 01:34:11,745
We'll remember.
1896
01:34:11,747 --> 01:34:14,280
- Time to go.
-Yes.
1897
01:34:19,388 --> 01:34:21,287
Where...
Wh-where's the driver?
1898
01:34:22,223 --> 01:34:23,823
Right here.
1899
01:34:23,825 --> 01:34:26,292
There's no driver
in the car.
1900
01:34:26,294 --> 01:34:28,061
If they're shooting at us,
i get to drive.
1901
01:34:28,063 --> 01:34:29,863
Now you wanna drive.
1902
01:34:29,865 --> 01:34:31,031
I see how it works.
1903
01:34:32,266 --> 01:34:33,833
You get to drive the good car.
1904
01:34:35,102 --> 01:34:36,670
Bye, you guys!
1905
01:34:44,945 --> 01:34:45,879
Okay.
1906
01:34:48,849 --> 01:34:52,285
You know, it's parents day
at the camp tomorrow.
1907
01:35:22,483 --> 01:35:25,485
This is going
straight to Facebook.
Keep sucking!
1908
01:35:25,487 --> 01:35:26,920
--That's good.
1909
01:35:26,922 --> 01:35:28,154
What does it taste like?
1910
01:35:28,156 --> 01:35:30,757
It tastes like, uh,
Mikey's sock.
1911
01:35:30,759 --> 01:35:32,459
But I mean that in a good way.
Here, try it.
1912
01:35:32,461 --> 01:35:35,495
-Oh, I miss Mikey's
little feet and his socks.
-Yeah. Here.
1913
01:35:38,199 --> 01:35:40,066
- Okay, ready?
1914
01:35:40,068 --> 01:35:42,368
Oh, god!
That really hurt.
1915
01:35:44,105 --> 01:35:45,338
What?
1916
01:35:46,774 --> 01:35:48,174
Oh, my god!
1917
01:35:48,176 --> 01:35:50,310
- Guys!
- Natalie! Tim!
1918
01:35:50,312 --> 01:35:52,112
You've gotta be kidding me!
1919
01:35:52,880 --> 01:35:52,879
What?
1920
01:35:52,881 --> 01:35:55,915
-Can I take this?
-Are you kidding me?
1921
01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:57,417
We are here because of you.
1922
01:35:57,419 --> 01:35:58,785
You told us about this place
1923
01:35:58,787 --> 01:36:00,220
and that's why we came!
1924
01:36:00,222 --> 01:36:02,122
You are here. In marrakesh.
1925
01:36:02,124 --> 01:36:03,456
-That's a good memory. Wow.
-Amazing!
1926
01:36:03,458 --> 01:36:04,924
-What?
-That's amazing.
1927
01:36:04,926 --> 01:36:06,493
My god.
-You have a baby!
1928
01:36:06,495 --> 01:36:08,928
- Yes, he just fell asleep.
- He just fell asleep.
1929
01:36:08,930 --> 01:36:11,097
You had a baby? You old dogs!
1930
01:36:11,099 --> 01:36:13,466
Does that mean
you guys left the agency?
1931
01:36:13,468 --> 01:36:15,301
- Well, yeah. It's a very...
- Well...
1932
01:36:15,303 --> 01:36:19,005
-Yeah?
-Long story. But we can't
really get into it right now.
1933
01:36:19,007 --> 01:36:22,142
But, um, it's...
Well, it's good to
see you! Huh?
1934
01:36:22,144 --> 01:36:24,377
-Gosh!
-Jeff, do me, do me
a big favor? Will you just...
1935
01:36:24,379 --> 01:36:27,147
-Scoot a little bit
to your right? Thank you!
-Yeah. Sure thing.
1936
01:36:27,149 --> 01:36:29,816
I am blown away,
you guys. This is un--
1937
01:36:29,818 --> 01:36:31,518
um, Jeff, I don't want you
to turn around right now,
1938
01:36:31,520 --> 01:36:35,255
but there are, uh,
four guys in fezzes
behind you on the...
1939
01:36:35,257 --> 01:36:35,255
Uh, Jeff, I just said
don't turn around.
1940
01:36:35,257 --> 01:36:35,255
Jeff, I just specifically
asked you not to turn around.
1941
01:36:35,257 --> 01:36:40,093
I know but you said
there are four guys
in fezzes behind me.
1942
01:36:40,095 --> 01:36:42,061
We're in Morocco.
There's a lot of fezzes.
1943
01:36:42,063 --> 01:36:43,496
But it's human nature,
i think, to turn around
to something like that.
1944
01:36:43,498 --> 01:36:43,496
Don't you think?
1945
01:36:43,498 --> 01:36:46,132
Honey, honey.
We blew their cover again.
1946
01:36:46,134 --> 01:36:47,267
No! No.
1947
01:36:47,269 --> 01:36:47,267
What?
1948
01:36:47,269 --> 01:36:47,267
We should feed the baby?
-Yeah, I think we should
feed the baby.
1949
01:36:47,269 --> 01:36:47,267
If you can just
pass me the bottle,
- we blew their cover?
1950
01:36:47,269 --> 01:36:52,539
-That would be great.
-Darn it.
1951
01:36:52,541 --> 01:36:55,842
- Can you hold this bag for me?
-Do you mind holding the baby?
1952
01:36:55,844 --> 01:36:57,977
- Before you freak out,
it's just a baby.
How are your kids doing?
1953
01:36:57,979 --> 01:36:59,946
-All right? Don't worry.
-Kids are great!
I have pictures right here.
1954
01:36:59,948 --> 01:37:01,014
-Karen, how do you get--
-I'll tell you what.
1955
01:37:01,016 --> 01:37:02,549
Just put it in here
and show me.
1956
01:37:02,551 --> 01:37:04,117
Kind of see
what I'm dealing with.
1957
01:37:04,119 --> 01:37:05,485
Okay. I see now.
1958
01:37:05,487 --> 01:37:07,353
Okay? See what that is?
1959
01:37:07,355 --> 01:37:09,389
-Now, listen.
-It's okay, honey.
1960
01:37:09,391 --> 01:37:09,389
- I need you to breathe, okay?
You've done this before.
You can do it.
1961
01:37:09,391 --> 01:37:14,394
On three, I want you
to get down,
and take cover. Okay?
1962
01:37:14,396 --> 01:37:15,395
- One.
- One.
1963
01:37:15,397 --> 01:37:16,896
Two...
1964
01:37:16,898 --> 01:37:18,498
Jesus, Jeff!
Everybody down, right now.
1965
01:37:24,138 --> 01:37:25,471
I miss those guys.
1966
01:37:25,473 --> 01:37:26,573
Me too.