1
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,549
Señor...
2
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,674
we must not go any further.
3
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,469
Look!
4
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:39,435
It is an ancient,
sacred Hovitos symbol.
5
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:42,312
It's certain death for
anyone who enters.
6
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,064
We must turn back...
7
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,773
now!
8
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,129
George.
9
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,547
Hello?
10
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,216
Earth to George.
11
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,801
George!
12
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,469
Are you daydreaming again?
13
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:47,599
No, no, I was just admiring how
clean and shiny this grill is.
14
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,476
Come on, George. We're busy here.
15
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,894
You know what the problem is?
16
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:54,106
Nobody here appreciates a
guy with a good imagination.
17
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,149
Well, at least not the
people at the lumber yard
18
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,069
or the miniature golf course
or Floyd's Fish Market,
19
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,072
or any of the other places you
worked in the last month, right?
20
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:05,367
Yeah. Well, someday...
someday they'll be sorry.
21
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,703
They'll be eating
breakfast or something
22
00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:12,082
and all of a sudden, they'll say, "Hey!
We screwed up!
23
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,584
We never should have
fired George Newman
24
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,919
because he's got imagination."
25
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,757
Well, I think the fries
are just about done.
26
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,802
Aw, jeez, you better not
let Big Edna see that.
27
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,971
- She'll have a fit.
- Big Edna, Big Edna.
28
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,764
You sound like a broken record.
29
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:31,975
Why are you so afraid of
that pathetic tub of lard?
30
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,985
Whoa!
31
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,089
How could you do this to me?
32
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,133
I knew this was gonna happen.
33
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,802
You're right, Bob. I'm sorry.
34
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,220
What can I say?
35
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,057
I'm a miserable,
worthless hunk of slime.
36
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,059
Here.
37
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,353
I want you to take
this crowbar and...
38
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,188
just bash my head right in!
39
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:19,107
Go ahead, really. Please.
Just bash it right in!
40
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,151
George, you know I couldn't do that.
41
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,903
You still owe me five bucks.
42
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,034
Hey, Kuni.
43
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,702
Hiya, George.
44
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,162
Beginner's class today, huh?
45
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,582
Yeah. They're so stupid!
46
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,624
Oh!
47
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,670
Stupid!
48
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,102
Boy!
49
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,437
Look what I got here, Bob.
50
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,357
A twinkie-wiener sandwich!
51
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,983
Your favorite.
52
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,449
Come on, Bob. Cheer up, will you?
53
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,617
You ruined my life.
54
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,583
You know, Bob-o,
55
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,294
I think you're developing
a bad attitude here.
56
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:28,301
You see, Bob... you gotta
look at the big picture.
57
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,846
You gotta grab life by the lips
58
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,597
and yank as hard as you can!
59
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,186
See anything in the want ads?
60
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:42,065
Yeah. But nothing with the prestige
of working at Burger World.
61
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,193
So what do you think Teri's gonna say
when she hears you got fired again?
62
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,445
Teri? Oh, no. What time is it?
63
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,326
7:30? Oh boy, I gotta go.
I'll see you later, Bob.
64
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,078
Stupid!
65
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,340
So, what's your excuse this time?
66
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,252
Well, Bob and I were having
67
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,881
a serious discussion about
our various career options.
68
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,883
Boy, I really like what
you've done with your hair.
69
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:11,760
- It's really...
- George, did you get fired again?
70
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,307
Yes! Yes! It's all true!
71
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:19,685
I just don't know
what's wrong with me!
72
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,020
So, what's for dinner?
73
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,192
Mashed potatoes? My favorite!
74
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,277
Teri, you shouldn't have.
75
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,779
George!
76
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:33,783
When are you gonna start taking
things a little more seriously?
77
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,244
I mean, you've been
wandering aimlessly
78
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,498
from job to job ever
since I've known you.
79
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,751
If you could just get that
overactive imagination of yours
80
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:46,716
to work for you instead of
against you, maybe you could...
81
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,635
What are you doing?
82
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:55,470
This means something.
This is important.
83
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:06,231
Oh, George, that is just terrible.
84
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,985
But don't you worry,
85
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,987
you're a fine young man.
86
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,657
I'm sure you'll get
another job right away.
87
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,284
You got such a good face.
88
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,036
Look at this face.
89
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,413
Would you look at this face?
90
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,582
Is this a face you could die for?
91
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,754
So, where's Uncle Harvey?
I haven't seen him all night.
92
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,339
Oh, he'll be out soon.
93
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:33,133
I think he's having some sort of
last-minute business meeting.
94
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:37,013
Two pair, aces high.
95
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,103
Yeah, what?
96
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,604
Hey, Louie.
97
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,941
I just wanted to congratulate you,
Mr. Bilchik.
98
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,236
You did very well at the
track this afternoon.
99
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,280
Oh, yeah? I won again, huh?
100
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,697
Right. Yeah. Thanks, Louie. Bye.
101
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,327
Now, what are we doing here?
102
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,369
It's your deal, Harvey.
103
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,708
Oh, hi, honey.
104
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,126
Have you finished your meeting?
105
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,794
Oh, yeah, yeah,
106
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,046
and business was great tonight.
107
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,049
Harvey, have you been gambling again?
108
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,010
Hey! What are you complaining about?
109
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:18,929
This is for when you go
shopping on Rodeo Drive.
110
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,143
What's this?
111
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,021
Oh, that's the deed to Channel 62.
112
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,356
I won it with a pair of sevens.
I was bluffing.
113
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,358
Channel 62?
114
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,152
- Never heard of it.
- I'm not surprised.
115
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,696
More people watch the fish
tank at Leo's pet store.
116
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,449
It's a little UHF station
on the edge of town.
117
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,659
It's been on the brink
of bankruptcy for years.
118
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:43,079
- It's too bad I gotta dump it.
- Oh, really?
119
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:47,375
I kind of like the idea of us
having our own TV station.
120
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,461
Forget about it.
121
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:53,298
They can't even find anybody
to manage the place anymore.
122
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:56,843
Harvey, I know somebody
who'd be perfect for the job.
123
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,802
Oh, yeah? Who's that?
124
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:04,683
George! George, dear, can you
come over here for a second?
125
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:08,146
Oh, no.
126
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:11,148
No, not him. Forget it. No way.
127
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,988
I can't believe your Uncle Harvey's
128
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,449
letting you run his TV station.
129
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,409
Hey, he trusts me.
130
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,952
Besides, he's going to California.
131
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,911
He doesn't want to
be bothered with it.
132
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,420
Well, here we are.
133
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,137
This is it?
134
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:44,015
Wow, this is even
better than I imagined!
135
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,893
Come on. Let's go check it out.
136
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,311
I don't know, George.
137
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,645
I'm not so sure about this.
138
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,192
See? The front door's open.
139
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,027
It's a friendly place.
140
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,736
Hey, mister!
141
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,324
Change? You got change?
142
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,909
Oh... sure.
143
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,956
85...
144
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,582
95...
145
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,210
one dollar!
146
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,628
Thanks, mister.
147
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,933
Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.
148
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,274
A horse is a horse,
of course, of course
149
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,276
And no one can talk
to a horse, of course
150
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,403
That is, of course, unless the horse
151
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,864
Is the famous Mr. Ed
152
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,782
Go right to the source
and ask the horse
153
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,909
He'll give you the answer
that you'll endorse
154
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,287
He's always on a steady course
155
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,539
Talk to Mr. Ed
156
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,126
Can I help you?
157
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,086
Who are you?
158
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,088
I'm Philo.
159
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,922
Chief engineer.
160
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,635
So...
161
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,346
isn't it a little late
for you to be working?
162
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,557
I mean, what time do
you normally go home?
163
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:11,518
This is my home. I live here.
164
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,772
Hold these.
165
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,485
No, no, like this.
166
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,948
What are you doing?
167
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:27,577
Oh, I just want to
see if my interociter
168
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:31,581
can withstand a sudden
charge of 60,000 volts.
169
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:35,041
What?
170
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,803
Yeah...
171
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,928
it works.
172
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,557
Do do do do
173
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,309
Wee-oo, wee-oo
174
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,478
Do do do do
175
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,105
Do wah do wah...
176
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,900
I don't know about this, George.
I mean, I don't know the first thing
177
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,777
about what goes on at
a television station.
178
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,863
Don't worry, Bob. It's just
like working in a fish market,
179
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,781
except you don't have to
clean and gut fish all day.
180
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,172
Yeah, so? Can I help you?
181
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,924
Hi. I'm George Newman.
182
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,634
I'm the new station manager.
183
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,513
You know, when I first took this job,
184
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:31,933
they told me that this
position was only temporary
185
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,227
and that eventually,
when the time was right,
186
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,147
I would be moved up to news,
which is really my forte.
187
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,858
You know how long I've
been working here?
188
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,442
Two years!
189
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,152
It's kind of hard to get promoted
190
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,697
when every other week
you have a new boss!
191
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:49,199
This job really sucks.
192
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,120
And this is my friend Bob.
193
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,538
Hi. Nice to meet you.
194
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,498
Howdy, friends. It's Crazy Ernie
195
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,584
from Crazy Ernie's Used Car Emporium.
196
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,128
It's a giant supermarket of cars!
197
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:02,755
I got so many cars people
come up to me and say,
198
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,842
"Hey, Crazy Ernie,
where'd you get all those cars?"
199
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:09,012
Lookie here! I got red cars,
I got green cars!
200
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,431
I got enough cars to choke a camel!
201
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,849
Tell you what, friends,
202
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,101
if nobody comes down and buys
a car from me in the next hour,
203
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,729
I'm gonna club this baby seal!
204
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:21,274
That's right! I'm gonna club
a seal to make a better deal!
205
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,067
You know I'll do it, too,
206
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,029
'cause I'm crazy! Ha ha ha!
207
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:29,198
Look at all the old reruns
this station is airing.
208
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,701
We could sure use
some more live shows.
209
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,453
I don't know, something like...
210
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,996
Oh, no!
211
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,581
You okay in there, Pam?
212
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,958
Yes. It's just if it's not
one thing, it's another.
213
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,210
You know, that mailman's
really got a screw loose.
214
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,464
He delivers us this package.
It's supposed to go to R.J. Fletcher.
215
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,882
Who?
216
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,384
R.J. Fletcher. He runs Channel 8,
217
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:51,054
you know, the network
affiliate downtown?
218
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,307
Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to
send it back to him tomorrow.
219
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,352
No. That's okay.
I-I'll take it over myself.
220
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,936
It'll be a good chance
to meet the competition.
221
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,482
You know, George, I'll tell you,
222
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,317
I don't really think
that's such a good idea.
223
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,861
I heard he's not the
nicest guy in the world.
224
00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:10,073
Oh, come on.
He can't be all that bad.
225
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:13,159
You just gotta know how
to talk to those guys.
226
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,955
You idiot! Can't you do
anything I tell you to do?
227
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,165
Does this look like a No. 2 pencil?
228
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,084
- No. I just thought...
- You thought?
229
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,794
I don't pay you to think!
230
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,837
- But, Dad...
- Shut up!
231
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,547
Let's get back to the meeting.
232
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,341
All right, who's got
the research report?
233
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,718
I left the report on your desk, sir.
234
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,680
I don't see it.
When did you put it here?
235
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,098
Yesterday before I left, sir.
236
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:39,435
The janitor. It must
have been the janitor.
237
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,729
He probably threw it out when
he was cleaning up in here.
238
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,731
Send in the janitor.
239
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,775
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
240
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,861
I will not tolerate this kind
of behavior at Channel 8.
241
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,447
This is a business, not a home
242
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,908
for irresponsible pus-brains!
243
00:18:56,135 --> 00:19:00,289
You wanted to see me, sir?
244
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,958
That's right.
245
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,002
I guess you know why
I called you in here.
246
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:07,672
Because you're lonely?
247
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,799
No, you moron.
248
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,676
Oh, duh.
249
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,344
Now, look carefully.
250
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:15,471
Do you see anything
missing from this desk?
251
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,198
That stapler?
252
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,604
No!
253
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:27,817
Now listen to me. There was a
very important file on this desk,
254
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:32,196
a file that represented two
months of intensive research.
255
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,158
It's my guess that you threw it out.
256
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:38,077
Oh, no, sir. No...
257
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,954
Were you in here
cleaning up last night?
258
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,914
Yes, sir... yes, sir, I was.
259
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,624
Do you see that file on my desk now?
260
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,795
Gee, I don't know.
261
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,881
I think I've proven my point.
262
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,675
You are a worthless
human being Mr....
263
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:56,054
Spadowski. Stanley Spadowski.
264
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,181
May I call you Stanley?
265
00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,974
Okay.
266
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:02,185
Stanley, you're fired!
267
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:03,895
But I... I didn't...
268
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,480
Get out!
269
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,355
But I...
270
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,985
People are...
271
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,906
I can't believe the
incompetence in this place.
272
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,575
People like that should
be put to sleep.
273
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,542
Well, what do you know?
274
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,252
The research file.
275
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:31,422
Here it is. Been sitting
here all the time.
276
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,940
Betty, hold my calls.
277
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,775
Yes, Mr. Fletcher.
278
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,652
Hey, R.J.!
279
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,119
Hi! George Newman, U-62.
280
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:04,247
Say, nice place you got here.
281
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:07,208
You know, I was just thinking,
since we're both in the business...
282
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,668
Where'd you get this?
283
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,837
Do you realize that stealing
mail is a federal offense?
284
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,630
Hold on. You don't understand...
285
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:15,216
No, you don't understand
how serious a crime this is.
286
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,802
I think you'd just better clear
out your desk and get out.
287
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,804
You're through, mister.
288
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:21,681
But, I don't work here.
289
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,392
Trespassing, huh?
290
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:27,520
You've got 10 seconds to get
out before I call the police.
291
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,064
Look, I thought we could...
292
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:32,316
Five... four...
293
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:33,901
- three...
- Gee, look at the time.
294
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,654
Well, gotta go.
295
00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:38,655
Keep in touch.
296
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:51,085
No. No. Please.
It's all I've got left!
297
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,920
Let go. This is station property.
298
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:54,962
No! No! It's my mop!
299
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,466
Let go!
300
00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,592
Let go, you idiot!
301
00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:02,513
That's my mop!
302
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,222
Not any more, buddy!
303
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,060
Hey, are you all right?
304
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,896
It's just not fair.
305
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:12,356
Come on, forget about it.
It's only a mop.
306
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:15,651
"Only a mop"? "Only a mop"?
307
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,570
Oh, you don't understand.
308
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:21,989
That mop was given to me for my
birthday when I was 8 years old.
309
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,909
We've never been apart!
310
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,538
Now...
311
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,708
now I don't even have a job anymore.
312
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:34,587
After 15 years, they just toss me out
313
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:38,214
like an old bag of moldy tangerines.
314
00:22:40,318 --> 00:22:42,385
What am I gonna do?
315
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:45,681
What am I gonna do?
316
00:22:48,559 --> 00:22:51,978
Well... maybe you could
come work for me.
317
00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:54,357
Really? You mean it?
318
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:58,027
Sure. I guess we could use a janitor.
319
00:22:58,127 --> 00:23:00,488
- Stanley Spadowski.
- George Newman.
320
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:01,989
I'm mighty glad to meet you, George.
321
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:04,033
I'm gonna do a really good job.
You won't be sorry.
322
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:06,869
I'm really gonna do a good job
for you, George. I'm a good janitor.
323
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:08,496
You want me to clean
your glasses for you?
324
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:11,415
- No, that's...
- I'll make them real shiny, real shiny.
325
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,916
'cause we're friends, George?
We're friends.
326
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,671
Nope.
327
00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:18,130
Is this it?
328
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,131
Nope.
329
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,261
Is this it?
330
00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:25,303
Nope.
331
00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:28,724
- Is this it?
- No, George.
332
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,768
I can't delay the broadcast
333
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:34,021
because the mayor is supposed
to be coming out any minute.
334
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:35,523
Where is he?
335
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,191
No. I've looked all over.
336
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:40,569
I don't see a Noodles MacIntire.
337
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:44,490
MacIntosh at your service.
338
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,492
Yeah, George, never mind.
I think I found him.
339
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:48,242
Come on! Come on!
340
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:04,260
We go now live to U-62's
Pamela Finklestein
341
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,469
on the steps at City Hall.
342
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:11,309
Thank you. Hi.
Pamela Finklestein here.
343
00:24:11,409 --> 00:24:13,311
Boy, it's quite a scene this morning
344
00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:15,062
on the front steps of City Hall.
345
00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:17,231
We're awaiting the emergence
of Mayor Thompson
346
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,942
from his annual city budget meeting.
347
00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:23,154
I think he... oh yeah, here comes
the mayor now. Let's go over.
348
00:24:23,254 --> 00:24:24,655
Maybe we can get a
few words out of him.
349
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:33,162
Oh!
350
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:41,796
Oh, did I do that?
351
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,048
Oopsie!
352
00:24:44,692 --> 00:24:46,802
Noodles, those things are fragile.
353
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:48,679
You should be more careful.
354
00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:51,766
Here he is now. I think
that we should be able...
355
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:55,853
Hey, sweetheart, take my advice.
356
00:24:55,953 --> 00:24:59,273
Broads don't belong in broadcasting.
357
00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:00,691
Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!
358
00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:03,152
Hi. Richard Fletcher. Channel 8 news.
359
00:25:12,219 --> 00:25:14,038
Yeah, but...
360
00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:15,873
yeah, but...
361
00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,292
"broads don't belong
in broadcasting"?
362
00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:21,796
Is that the kind of professional
courtesy you teach your news department?
363
00:25:21,896 --> 00:25:23,881
Why, that's just terrible.
364
00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,384
I don't know how many times
I've told those boys
365
00:25:26,484 --> 00:25:28,844
never call chicks "broads."
366
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:32,431
Why, you slimy... oh!
367
00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:39,063
Hello, and welcome to town talk.
368
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:41,732
I'm George Newman,
and today our special guest
369
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:44,693
is local high school
shop teacher Joe Earley.
370
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,445
Joe, thanks for joining us.
371
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,823
Thank you, home boy.
372
00:25:48,923 --> 00:25:50,741
Well, I see you've brought
some equipment with you today.
373
00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:52,618
Would you mind giving us
a little demonstration?
374
00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:56,247
Not at all.
375
00:25:56,347 --> 00:25:59,959
There's only a few simple principles
376
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:02,086
you must bear in mind
377
00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:04,547
before attempting to operate
378
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:09,508
a sophisticated piece
of machinery like this...
379
00:26:10,945 --> 00:26:12,553
Table saw.
380
00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:25,443
You know, lots of times,
381
00:26:25,543 --> 00:26:28,404
when my students first learn to...
382
00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,237
Whoa!
383
00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:33,451
What?
384
00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:35,409
Oh!
385
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:39,748
Do you believe this?
386
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:43,377
Oh, will you look at that?
387
00:26:43,477 --> 00:26:45,045
Oh.
388
00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:50,132
Just call me Mr. Butterfingers.
389
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:54,680
I think it's on the floor...
390
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:56,432
somewhere.
391
00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:58,225
Oh.
392
00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:03,104
Is my face red! Oh.
393
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:07,108
Honey, where's the spatula?
394
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:10,152
Okay, kids, let's go.
395
00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:14,450
There's just one place to go
396
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,118
for all your spatula needs.
397
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:18,162
Spatula City! Spatula City!
398
00:27:18,262 --> 00:27:21,290
A giant warehouse of
spatulas for every occasion.
399
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:24,293
Thousands to choose from in
every shape, size, and color.
400
00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:26,045
And because we eliminate
the middleman,
401
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,964
we can sell all our spatulas
factory-direct to you.
402
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:31,675
Where do you go when you wanna
buy name-brand spatulas
403
00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:33,385
at a fraction of retail cost?
404
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,221
Spatula City! Spatula City!
405
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:38,974
And, this weekend only, take advantage
of our special liquidation sale.
406
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:43,269
Buy 9 spatulas, get the 10th
one for just one penny.
407
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,858
Don't forget, they make
great Christmas presents.
408
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:50,819
And what better way
to say "I love you"
409
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:53,405
than with the gift of a spatula?
410
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:55,783
Spatula City! Spatula City!
411
00:27:55,883 --> 00:27:59,828
Hello. This is Sy Greenblum,
president of Spatula City.
412
00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:03,624
I liked their spatulas so much,
I bought the company.
413
00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:06,001
Spatula City! Seven locations!
414
00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:08,629
We're in the yellow
pages under "spatulas."
415
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:12,673
My! Where did you get
that lovely spatula?
416
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:16,387
Spatula city, we sell spatulas
417
00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:18,430
And that's all
418
00:28:27,665 --> 00:28:29,942
Hey, kids, where do you want to go?
419
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:34,363
To Uncle Nutzy's clubhouse.
420
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:37,032
That's right! I'm your Uncle Nutzy,
421
00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:42,415
and, boy, oh, boy are we gonna have
some big fun today. Huh, kids?
422
00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:48,711
Well, let's walk on over and see
who's in our Kiddie Corner.
423
00:28:48,811 --> 00:28:51,922
- Hi. What's your name?
- Billy.
424
00:28:52,022 --> 00:28:53,666
Billy what?
425
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:56,486
Okay.
426
00:28:58,786 --> 00:29:01,774
You know who that is? That's right.
427
00:29:01,874 --> 00:29:07,354
It's your pal, Bob-o the Clown! Yay!
428
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:17,281
Hey, Bob-o, wanna play a game?
Okay, look up. Look down.
429
00:29:17,381 --> 00:29:19,490
Now look at Mr. Frying Pan.
430
00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:24,163
Bob-o fall down, go boom.
431
00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:27,458
Upsie-daisy.
432
00:29:27,558 --> 00:29:29,877
Say, Bob-o, what's wrong?
433
00:29:29,977 --> 00:29:33,405
Oh, I bet I know.
You're hungry, aren't you?
434
00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:36,133
Well, I know just what you want.
435
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:41,930
Clowns and kids alike can't resist the
mouth-watering, lip-smacking taste
436
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:45,559
of Mrs. Hockenburger's
Butter Cookies.
437
00:29:45,659 --> 00:29:47,436
Right, Bob-o?
438
00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:48,937
That's right!
439
00:29:49,037 --> 00:29:50,356
And, hey, Mom,
440
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,316
they're nutritious, too!
441
00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:55,067
Just look at how much
Bob-o here likes them.
442
00:29:55,711 --> 00:29:58,322
That's good.
443
00:29:58,422 --> 00:29:59,865
And don't forget, kids,
444
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,492
there's a nifty surprise
445
00:30:01,592 --> 00:30:05,494
inside every box of
Mrs. Hockenburger's...
446
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:13,504
Bob-o's been eating
Yappy's Dog Treats.
447
00:30:13,604 --> 00:30:16,548
That's right, Yappy's Dog Treats.
448
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,468
Your dog will love that real
liver and tuna taste...
449
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,470
with just a hint of cheese.
450
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:29,228
Hi. Pamela Finklestein here,
451
00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:31,980
coming to you with an interview
with Mr. Earl Ramsey.
452
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,442
Now, Mr. Ramsey is the
president of the local chapter
453
00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:37,569
of the American Gun Association.
454
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:41,031
Mr. Ramsey, is it correct to assume
455
00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:44,076
that your organization
is against gun control?
456
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:48,330
Gun control is for wimps and Commies.
457
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:50,748
Listen, let's get one thing straight.
458
00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:53,542
Guns don't kill people.
459
00:30:54,228 --> 00:30:57,339
- I do.
- Yes, well...
460
00:30:57,439 --> 00:31:00,968
This is a special bulletin
from the U-62 news room.
461
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:03,011
Hi, Teri. It's George.
462
00:31:03,111 --> 00:31:04,763
Happy Birthday.
463
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:07,641
Hey, how about if I take you
and your folks out to dinner?
464
00:31:07,741 --> 00:31:10,436
I'll meet you at Cafe
Francais at 7:30, okay?
465
00:31:10,536 --> 00:31:12,597
I love you.
466
00:31:15,415 --> 00:31:18,902
Are you tired of sloppy,
cut-rate funerals?
467
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:22,281
You've tried the rest.
Now try the best.
468
00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:25,200
The Plots-R-Us Mortuary Service.
469
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:28,203
Remember, there's always
plenty of free parking,
470
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:30,873
and don't forget to visit
our new salad bar.
471
00:31:30,973 --> 00:31:32,750
Plots-R-Us,
472
00:31:32,850 --> 00:31:36,335
eternal peace at affordable prices.
473
00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:39,423
Dad-blamed Beverly Hills.
474
00:31:39,523 --> 00:31:42,342
There ain't a possum shank to be
bought around here at any price.
475
00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:45,888
What good is having $68,000,000?
476
00:31:45,988 --> 00:31:47,973
I ask you!
477
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:51,852
Well, this morning is good for getting a
lot of papers signed for Mr. Drysdale.
478
00:31:51,952 --> 00:31:53,937
You was doing that
when I left here...
479
00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:53,831
Huh.
480
00:32:53,931 --> 00:32:55,749
Now, lookie here, people
481
00:32:55,849 --> 00:32:58,168
Listen to my story
482
00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:01,046
A little story about a man named Jed
483
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:02,798
You know something
484
00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:04,633
That poor mountaineer
485
00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:08,011
They say he barely
kept his family fed
486
00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:09,638
Now, let me tell you
487
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:12,015
One day he was shooting
488
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:14,518
Old Jed was shooting at some food
489
00:33:14,618 --> 00:33:16,395
When all of a sudden
490
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:19,106
Right up from the ground there
491
00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:21,733
Well, there came a bubbling crude
492
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,151
Oil, that is
493
00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:25,654
Well, maybe you call it
494
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:28,782
Black gold or the Texas tea
495
00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:32,160
He gonna move next
to Mr. Drysdale
496
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:36,246
And be a Beverly hillbilly
497
00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:40,419
Before you know it
498
00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:42,880
All the kinfolk are a-sayin'
499
00:33:42,980 --> 00:33:46,133
"Yeah, buddy, move away from there"
500
00:33:46,233 --> 00:33:49,469
That little Clampett got
his own cement pond
501
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:52,639
That little Clampett,
he's a millionaire
502
00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:54,474
Now, everyone said
503
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:59,688
"Californy is the place
that you ought to be"
504
00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:03,025
We got to load up
this here truck, now
505
00:34:03,125 --> 00:34:06,860
We got to move to Beverly...
506
00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:10,364
Hills, that is
507
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:14,326
Swimming pools
508
00:34:15,846 --> 00:34:18,747
Move-a move-a movie stars
509
00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:22,294
Huh
510
00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:23,962
Look at that, look at that
511
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,839
Beverly
512
00:34:25,939 --> 00:34:27,424
Beverly
513
00:34:27,524 --> 00:34:29,801
"Beverly Hillbillies"
514
00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:31,678
Y'all come back, now, hear?
515
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:34,514
Beverly, Beverly
516
00:34:34,614 --> 00:34:37,976
"Beverly Hillbillies"
517
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,394
Beverly
518
00:34:39,494 --> 00:34:41,104
Beverly
519
00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:43,063
Beverly...
520
00:34:48,462 --> 00:34:50,112
George?
521
00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,531
Hey, George.
522
00:34:53,508 --> 00:34:56,244
I finished polishing
all the doorknobs.
523
00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:57,829
Is there anything else
you want me to do?
524
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,957
No, Stanley. That's okay.
525
00:35:00,057 --> 00:35:02,751
It's getting pretty late.
Why don't you call it a night?
526
00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:05,712
Oh... do I have to?
527
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:08,757
Yeah. Go on.
I'll see you in the morning.
528
00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:12,176
Okay. I'll see you.
529
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:17,140
George, you know,
I was wondering, like...
530
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,600
like, if you were traveling
through outer space,
531
00:35:18,700 --> 00:35:20,727
I mean, like, you're going real fast,
like the speed of light,
532
00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:23,605
you know, and all of a sudden,
you started screaming,
533
00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:28,151
Do you think that your
brain would blow up?
534
00:35:28,251 --> 00:35:31,363
Guys, I'm trying to work.
Do you mind?
535
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:36,533
No, I... I don't mind.
Go... go right ahead.
536
00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:40,078
Do you mind, George?
537
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,210
Would you care to order now?
538
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:47,713
Oh, yeah. I think we'll have the...
539
00:35:47,813 --> 00:35:50,172
No, thank you. We'll wait.
540
00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:55,636
Are you sure he knows
what restaurant we're at?
541
00:36:05,872 --> 00:36:09,026
Well, I've got some good
news and some bad news.
542
00:36:09,126 --> 00:36:11,528
Okay, give me the bad news first.
543
00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:15,615
Well, given our present
financial situation,
544
00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:18,118
compounded by ongoing fixed expenses
545
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:20,537
and outstanding invoices,
546
00:36:20,637 --> 00:36:24,540
I figure this station will be flat
broke by the end of the week.
547
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:30,546
What's the good news?
548
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:34,216
I lied. There is no good news.
549
00:36:38,613 --> 00:36:40,847
I never should have taken this job.
550
00:36:42,993 --> 00:36:45,769
I should have known it would
turn out like all the others.
551
00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:50,525
You know, for a short time there,
552
00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:53,026
I really thought this
was gonna be different.
553
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:56,446
I just don't know anymore.
554
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,954
Well, at least I've still got Teri.
555
00:37:07,434 --> 00:37:09,795
- What time is it?
- 9:30.
556
00:37:09,895 --> 00:37:11,514
Oh, no!
557
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,721
Hello?
558
00:37:19,821 --> 00:37:22,224
George Newman? You are a selfish,
559
00:37:22,324 --> 00:37:25,268
thoughtless, insensitive creep,
560
00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:28,522
and from now on, you can
forget all my birthdays
561
00:37:28,622 --> 00:37:30,897
because we're through.
562
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:48,832
Hey, kids, where do you want to go?
563
00:37:50,143 --> 00:37:54,588
That's right, to Uncle
Nutzy's Clubhouse.
564
00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:57,092
And, boy, oh, boy,
565
00:37:57,192 --> 00:38:00,804
are we gonna have big fun today.
566
00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:03,555
We're gonna have so much fun,
567
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,644
we'll forget about
how miserable we are
568
00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:10,564
and how much life sucks
569
00:38:10,664 --> 00:38:14,067
and how we're all gonna
grow old and die someday.
570
00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:17,110
- I wanna go home.
- Shut up, you little weasel.
571
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:20,657
Okay.
572
00:38:20,757 --> 00:38:25,120
Right now I'd like to show you
one of my favorite cartoons.
573
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:29,956
It's a sad, depressing story
about a pathetic coyote
574
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,211
who spends every waking
moment of his life
575
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:36,882
in the futile pursuit of
a sadistic roadrunner...
576
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:39,342
who mocks him and laughs at him
577
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:42,886
as he is repeatedly
crushed and maimed!
578
00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:45,972
Hope you enjoy it!
579
00:38:48,285 --> 00:38:50,645
Hey, where are you going?
580
00:38:50,745 --> 00:38:52,564
- I need a drink.
- You don't drink.
581
00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:54,858
Yeah, but I've been meaning to start.
582
00:38:54,958 --> 00:38:56,985
Wait a minute.
583
00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,778
What about the rest of the show?
584
00:38:58,878 --> 00:39:02,991
Watch out, Mr. Coyote!
Oh, that's terrible.
585
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:05,035
Hey, Stanley.
586
00:39:05,135 --> 00:39:06,453
Yeah, George?
587
00:39:06,553 --> 00:39:08,495
How would you like your own TV Show?
588
00:39:09,431 --> 00:39:10,916
Okay.
589
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:12,834
You're on.
590
00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:15,919
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
591
00:39:18,732 --> 00:39:21,174
What?
592
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:31,519
- But, George, what about...
- Bob, it doesn't matter anymore.
593
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:33,980
It's over.
594
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,690
Yeah. We're watching it, too.
595
00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:37,984
Yeah. I've never seen
anything like it.
596
00:39:38,084 --> 00:39:39,943
Okay, I'll call you later.
597
00:39:41,463 --> 00:39:43,323
Gentlemen, what can I get you?
598
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:44,991
Beer.
599
00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:47,159
Blueberry daiquiri.
600
00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:52,624
I'll tell you what, George.
Let's start fresh.
601
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:54,167
Start a whole new business.
602
00:39:54,267 --> 00:39:56,253
Maybe we can borrow some money
from your Uncle Harvey.
603
00:39:56,353 --> 00:39:57,879
Oh, right.
604
00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:00,298
We just flushed his TV
station down the toilet.
605
00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:02,758
I'm sure he'd be happy
to lend us money.
606
00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:07,971
So I guess Teri's never going
to speak to you again, huh?
607
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:14,604
Hey, I didn't get an umbrella.
608
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:17,606
Look everybody! He's coming back on!
609
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,570
Hey, welcome back to "Stanley
Spadowski's Clubhouse."
610
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:24,239
Are you kids having a good time?
611
00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:26,199
Yeah!
612
00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:29,244
Hey, how about that cartoon?
That was a weird cartoon, wasn't it?
613
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:33,123
You know, that cartoon, it reminds
me of a dream I had last week.
614
00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:36,334
I turned into a bird
with a candy-bar head.
615
00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:37,752
And there were these
other birds, you know,
616
00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:40,630
they were all trying to eat my head and
everything, but I got away from them.
617
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:42,090
Then there was this tree, you know,
618
00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:43,758
and there was this weird
lizard, you know...
619
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:45,468
what the...
620
00:40:45,568 --> 00:40:47,053
ooh!
621
00:40:47,153 --> 00:40:48,471
Oh.
622
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:50,056
Whoa!
623
00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:51,599
Whoa!
624
00:40:51,699 --> 00:40:53,018
Oh!
625
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:55,687
I wa... I wanna show you something...
626
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:57,938
I want to show you something.
627
00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:06,906
This is my new mop.
628
00:41:07,006 --> 00:41:09,868
George, my friend,
he gave me this mop.
629
00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:13,121
It's a pretty good mop.
It's not as good as my first mop.
630
00:41:13,221 --> 00:41:17,125
I miss my first mop,
but this is still a good mop.
631
00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:19,836
Sometimes you just have to
take what life gives you
632
00:41:19,936 --> 00:41:22,797
'cause life is like a mop,
633
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:26,718
and sometimes life gets
full of dirt and crud
634
00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:29,346
and bugs and hairballs and stuff.
635
00:41:29,446 --> 00:41:31,431
You... you... you gotta clean it out.
636
00:41:31,531 --> 00:41:34,434
You... you gotta put it
in here and rinse it off
637
00:41:34,534 --> 00:41:36,436
and start all over again and...
638
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:40,148
and sometimes, sometimes life
sticks to the floor so bad,
639
00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:41,566
you know, a mop... a mop,
640
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:42,984
it's not good enough...
it's not good enough.
641
00:41:43,084 --> 00:41:45,236
You... you gotta get down there,
like, with a toothbrush, you know,
642
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:47,072
and you gotta...
you gotta really scrub.
643
00:41:47,172 --> 00:41:50,325
You gotta get it off!
You gotta really try to get it off.
644
00:41:50,425 --> 00:41:53,870
But if that doesn't work, if that
doesn't work, you can't give up.
645
00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:55,455
You gotta... you gotta
stand right up,
646
00:41:55,555 --> 00:41:57,957
you gotta run to a window, and say,
647
00:41:58,057 --> 00:42:00,877
"Hey! These floors are dirty as hell
648
00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:03,213
and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"
649
00:42:03,313 --> 00:42:09,759
- Yeah!
- His truth is marching on.
650
00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:15,600
Yes, ma'am. That's right.
Stanley Spadowski.
651
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:18,812
I don't think that he's married, no.
652
00:42:18,912 --> 00:42:21,272
Well, I think that he
went to Harvard.
653
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:25,402
I'll see you kids later.
654
00:42:25,502 --> 00:42:29,280
Hi, George. Well,
I finished with the TV show.
655
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:31,282
What do you want me to do now?
656
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:32,826
Did you have a good
time in there, Stanley?
657
00:42:32,926 --> 00:42:34,953
Yeah! Oh, boy, it was fun.
658
00:42:35,053 --> 00:42:37,539
Great! How'd you like
to do it every day?
659
00:42:37,639 --> 00:42:39,207
Yeah! That would be nea...
660
00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:42,335
wait a minute.
661
00:42:42,435 --> 00:42:44,671
Do I still get to be the janitor?
662
00:42:44,771 --> 00:42:46,923
Sure.
663
00:42:47,023 --> 00:42:50,927
Oh, okay. It's a deal.
664
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,511
Well, I'm gonna go
clean the bathroom.
665
00:42:58,243 --> 00:43:01,479
Okay, kids, where do you want to go?
666
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:05,942
To "Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse"!
667
00:43:06,042 --> 00:43:07,360
Yay!
668
00:43:11,965 --> 00:43:14,242
Great.
669
00:43:14,342 --> 00:43:16,828
All right, it's a deal. Thanks a lot.
670
00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:19,330
Okay, talk to you later.
671
00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:20,874
George, wait till you hear this.
672
00:43:20,974 --> 00:43:23,460
"Stanley Spadowski's
Clubhouse" is sold out
673
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:24,878
for the next three months.
674
00:43:24,978 --> 00:43:27,422
The sponsors love him.
675
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,466
You know, if we had a
few more shows like this,
676
00:43:29,566 --> 00:43:31,426
we'd really be in business.
677
00:43:31,526 --> 00:43:33,011
Yeah, I've been thinking about that.
678
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:34,888
I've been working on some new ideas.
679
00:43:34,988 --> 00:43:36,930
Tell me what you think.
680
00:43:40,577 --> 00:43:43,480
Today, one of these lucky contestants
681
00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:46,024
will win his or her weight in fish
682
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,484
right here on...
683
00:43:47,584 --> 00:43:49,736
"Wheel of Fish"!
684
00:43:53,298 --> 00:43:55,992
Okay, let's play the game.
685
00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:58,077
We'll start with yesterday's winner,
686
00:43:58,177 --> 00:43:59,746
Miss Phyllis Weaver.
687
00:44:01,306 --> 00:44:02,832
Are you ready, Weaver?
688
00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:04,751
I sure am, Kuni.
689
00:44:04,851 --> 00:44:07,752
Okay, you get over there
and spin the Wheel of Fish.
690
00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:12,050
Go ahead.
691
00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:14,260
Give it a big spin!
692
00:44:18,323 --> 00:44:19,933
Come on, big fish!
693
00:44:20,033 --> 00:44:22,434
Come to Mama! Come on!
694
00:44:24,245 --> 00:44:26,356
Oh...
695
00:44:26,456 --> 00:44:28,775
a red snapper.
696
00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:32,654
Very tasty.
697
00:44:32,754 --> 00:44:35,615
Okay, Weaver, listen carefully.
698
00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:38,576
You can hold onto your red snapper
699
00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:40,620
or you can go for what's in the box
700
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:43,164
that Hiro-san is bringing
down the aisle right now!
701
00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:45,790
What's it gonna be?
702
00:44:47,477 --> 00:44:49,335
Box! Fish!
703
00:44:54,567 --> 00:44:56,761
I'll take the box! The box!
704
00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:59,681
You took the box!
705
00:44:59,781 --> 00:45:02,684
Let's see what's in the box!
706
00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:08,648
Nothing!
707
00:45:08,748 --> 00:45:11,359
Absolutely nothing!
708
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:16,197
Stupid! You're so stupid!
709
00:45:28,685 --> 00:45:30,003
Hello.
710
00:45:30,103 --> 00:45:31,879
My name is Philo,
711
00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:33,963
and welcome to...
712
00:45:39,112 --> 00:45:43,431
"Secrets of the Universe."
713
00:45:45,076 --> 00:45:49,314
Today we are going to
learn to make plutonium
714
00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:51,815
from common household items.
715
00:45:52,709 --> 00:45:55,069
Hey, man. This is Raul Hernandez,
716
00:45:55,169 --> 00:45:58,114
and welcome to...
Raul's Wild Kingdom,
717
00:45:58,214 --> 00:46:01,284
coming to you live from my apartment.
718
00:46:01,384 --> 00:46:02,702
How about that, huh?
719
00:46:02,802 --> 00:46:04,787
Okay, first thing
we're gonna do today
720
00:46:04,887 --> 00:46:07,248
is check out the wonderful
world of turtles.
721
00:46:09,851 --> 00:46:11,252
This is my friend Tommy.
722
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:13,630
Tommy, say hello to the nice people.
723
00:46:13,730 --> 00:46:15,673
Hello. Ha! Isn't he great, huh?
724
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:19,218
Okay, so, the turtle is a
member of the reptile family,
725
00:46:19,318 --> 00:46:21,763
and he's got this hard,
protective shell
726
00:46:21,863 --> 00:46:23,806
which keeps predators away,
727
00:46:23,906 --> 00:46:26,309
also provides him with his
own home when he sleeps.
728
00:46:26,409 --> 00:46:29,228
Oh, and he's got these
tiny, teeny little legs
729
00:46:29,328 --> 00:46:31,938
which makes him move real slow.
730
00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:34,609
And not too many people know this,
731
00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:40,324
but the turtle is also nature's
suction cup. Watch this.
732
00:46:41,424 --> 00:46:44,035
Did you see that? It sticks! Ha!
733
00:46:44,135 --> 00:46:46,162
Okay. Oh yeah.
What else I got for you?
734
00:46:46,262 --> 00:46:48,623
Yeah, check this out.
735
00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:51,959
This is my ant farm.
Now, ants are amazing.
736
00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:55,171
They can carry 50 times
their own weight,
737
00:46:55,271 --> 00:46:57,173
and they work for weeks and weeks
738
00:46:57,273 --> 00:46:59,842
building these intricate
little tunnels.
739
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:03,887
And, oh, yeah, they hate
it when you do this.
740
00:47:05,948 --> 00:47:07,975
Oh, look!
741
00:47:08,075 --> 00:47:10,560
They're really mad now.
742
00:47:11,204 --> 00:47:13,815
Where did you find this guy?
743
00:47:13,915 --> 00:47:16,901
Me? I thought you hired him.
744
00:47:17,001 --> 00:47:18,653
For those of you just joining us,
745
00:47:18,753 --> 00:47:21,280
today we're teaching
poodles how to fly.
746
00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:23,282
Come here, come here, Foofie.
747
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:26,577
Foofie, are you psyched?
748
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:29,080
Are you ready? Okay.
749
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:30,915
Here we go.
750
00:47:31,015 --> 00:47:34,793
Get ready and fly!
751
00:47:36,011 --> 00:47:38,062
Oh, man.
752
00:47:40,316 --> 00:47:42,760
You know, sometimes it
takes them a little longer
753
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,470
to learn how to do it right.
754
00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:46,347
Okay, come on, come on,
come on, shut up, shut up.
755
00:47:46,447 --> 00:47:49,183
Hey, hey. Who's next? Gigi.
756
00:47:52,077 --> 00:47:54,105
Oh, man!
757
00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:58,860
Hi. This is Teri.
I'm not home right now,
758
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,238
so leave a message and I'll get
back to you as soon as I can.
759
00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:05,992
Teri, I'm sorry!
760
00:48:06,092 --> 00:48:09,787
Come on, give me one
more chance, please!
761
00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:11,456
Come on, Teri!
762
00:48:11,556 --> 00:48:14,459
Teri! Oh, oh! I'm in hell!
763
00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:17,378
I'm in hell! Teri!
764
00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:20,298
Teri, pick up the phone!
765
00:48:20,398 --> 00:48:22,675
Pick up the phone! Pick up the phone!
766
00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:25,970
Oh! Oh, Teri!
767
00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:28,014
Please!
768
00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:30,183
Oh, Teri!
769
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:37,563
Richard, you shouldn't have.
770
00:48:38,499 --> 00:48:41,194
Happy Father's Day, Dad.
771
00:48:43,212 --> 00:48:44,572
What is this piece of crap?
772
00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:46,949
I thought I told you
I wanted a Rolex!
773
00:48:47,049 --> 00:48:49,294
A Rolex!
774
00:48:49,594 --> 00:48:52,079
- What?
- Sir?
775
00:48:52,179 --> 00:48:53,656
What do you want?
776
00:48:53,756 --> 00:48:56,167
I just thought I ought to tell you, sir,
there's a lot of talk in the street
777
00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:58,211
about this Channel 62.
778
00:48:58,311 --> 00:49:01,130
They're starting to get a
pretty strong following.
779
00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:05,927
Excuse me? Did you say Channel 62?
780
00:49:06,027 --> 00:49:10,515
Do I have to remind you that
we are a network affiliate?
781
00:49:10,615 --> 00:49:13,226
And we're in competition
with other networks,
782
00:49:13,326 --> 00:49:16,270
not with a bunch of punks
broadcasting out of a closet!
783
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:19,482
- But, sir...
- Do you enjoy wasting my time?
784
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:21,901
Get out of my office!
785
00:49:22,001 --> 00:49:24,444
And take that ridiculous thing off!
786
00:49:50,738 --> 00:49:53,391
What's that mean? What's that mean?
787
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:06,195
We got a winner!
788
00:50:06,295 --> 00:50:08,030
We got a winner!
789
00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:10,700
Oh, Joel Miller,
790
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,035
you just found the
marble in the oatmeal.
791
00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:14,704
You're a lucky, lucky,
lucky little boy.
792
00:50:14,804 --> 00:50:16,122
'Cause you know why?
793
00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:19,041
You get to drink from the fire hose!
794
00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:28,467
Yippee-ei-a
795
00:50:28,567 --> 00:50:31,302
So much fun. So much fun.
796
00:50:33,114 --> 00:50:35,766
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah!
797
00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:37,767
Open wide!
798
00:50:39,161 --> 00:50:40,938
Whoa ho ho!
799
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:43,439
Joel Miller! Let's hear it for him!
800
00:50:45,459 --> 00:50:47,528
- Raul Hernandez?
- Yeah.
801
00:50:47,628 --> 00:50:49,071
Got the delivery here
for your next show.
802
00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:50,907
Oh, great. What you got?
803
00:50:51,007 --> 00:50:54,911
Well, let's see, I got one
aardvark, one flamingo,
804
00:50:55,011 --> 00:51:00,081
four porcupines,
two armadillos, three badgers.
805
00:51:00,933 --> 00:51:02,793
Badgers?
806
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,795
Badgers?
807
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:07,922
We don't need no stinking badgers!
808
00:51:47,855 --> 00:51:51,258
Never before in the history
of motion pictures
809
00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:53,052
has there been a screen presence
810
00:51:53,152 --> 00:51:56,097
so commanding, so powerful,
811
00:51:56,197 --> 00:51:58,599
so deadly.
812
00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:01,560
He's Conan the Librarian.
813
00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:05,271
Can you tell me where I can
find a book on astronomy?
814
00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:13,114
Don't you know the
Dewey decimal system?
815
00:52:13,214 --> 00:52:15,533
Conan the Librarian.
816
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,243
I'm sorry.
817
00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,453
These books are a little overdue.
818
00:52:21,472 --> 00:52:23,040
Conan the Librarian.
819
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:27,502
Tonight, only on U-62.
820
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:32,006
This is pretty good water...
821
00:52:34,568 --> 00:52:36,971
tastes like poop.
822
00:52:37,071 --> 00:52:40,016
I'm gonna, I'm gonna
eat some corn flakes.
823
00:52:40,116 --> 00:52:42,476
These are good corn...
824
00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:44,353
whoa!
825
00:52:44,453 --> 00:52:46,856
"Free toy inside." "Free toy inside."
826
00:52:46,956 --> 00:52:49,649
Let's find it.
827
00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:54,363
Don't let your mom
know that you do this.
828
00:52:54,463 --> 00:52:57,408
I want to find the toy.
829
00:52:57,508 --> 00:53:00,161
Oh, look! It's a toy man.
830
00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:01,787
It's a toy man.
831
00:53:01,887 --> 00:53:03,873
Hey. Wanna go for a ride?
832
00:53:03,973 --> 00:53:05,499
Oh, boy! Is it fun?
833
00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:07,668
Here, I'll just tie this
around your waist.
834
00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:10,963
Oh... wait a minute!
No, I'll show you.
835
00:53:11,063 --> 00:53:12,381
I don't want to go...
836
00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:16,594
Stop! Stop!
837
00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,012
Wasn't that fun?
838
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:20,890
Oh, stop! I'm dizzy!
No, let's go again.
839
00:53:23,075 --> 00:53:25,936
Okay. How's this for our
new Friday night line-up?
840
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,731
8:00, "Druids On Parade,"
841
00:53:28,831 --> 00:53:31,275
then "The Volcano Worshipers' Hour,"
842
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:33,652
followed by "Underwater
Bingo for Teens"
843
00:53:33,752 --> 00:53:37,364
and "Fun with Dirt."
844
00:53:37,464 --> 00:53:39,158
Why not?
845
00:53:39,258 --> 00:53:40,701
Get this. I get a call this morning
846
00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:43,037
from a guy who says he
can swallow his own face.
847
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:45,206
Can you believe that? I...
848
00:53:45,306 --> 00:53:46,999
Bob?
849
00:53:47,099 --> 00:53:50,252
- What you got there?
- The ratings.
850
00:53:50,352 --> 00:53:52,421
Don't tell me we actually
showed up on the list.
851
00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:54,965
We're number one.
852
00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,550
Say what?
853
00:53:58,611 --> 00:54:01,138
W-we beat out the networks.
854
00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:03,766
Th-this is unbelievable.
Look at these numbers.
855
00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:05,935
We've got three shows
in the top five.
856
00:54:06,035 --> 00:54:08,354
"Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse"
went through the roof.
857
00:54:08,454 --> 00:54:11,899
He got a 60 share!
Do you know what this means?
858
00:54:11,999 --> 00:54:14,527
We're finally gonna
have some real money.
859
00:54:14,627 --> 00:54:17,905
George, we're the number
one station in town.
860
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:22,409
There's lots of fun coming your way
861
00:54:22,509 --> 00:54:24,745
this weekend on U-62.
862
00:54:24,845 --> 00:54:26,914
First, slam your way to health
863
00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:29,208
as you "Stay fit!"
With Mike and Spike.
864
00:54:29,308 --> 00:54:33,003
Next, everybody's favorite,
Chef Bernie invites you to go...
865
00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:34,880
"Bowling for Burgers"!
866
00:54:34,980 --> 00:54:36,632
Sunday, be a part of the excitement
867
00:54:36,732 --> 00:54:38,801
as we premiere our
dazzling new game show
868
00:54:38,901 --> 00:54:40,344
"Strip solitaire"!
869
00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:44,014
And then join us for some
hilarious fun on the all-new
870
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:46,142
"Practical Jokes and Bloopers"!
871
00:54:46,242 --> 00:54:48,936
And you won't want to miss
"Celebrity Mud Wrestling,"
872
00:54:49,036 --> 00:54:52,189
with this week's special guest,
Mikhail Gorbachev.
873
00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:54,400
Whoa!
874
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:56,986
It's a whole new weekend on U-62,
875
00:54:57,086 --> 00:54:59,155
the reason television was invented.
876
00:54:59,255 --> 00:55:02,198
Be there! Huh huh, yah.
877
00:55:06,637 --> 00:55:11,000
This is indeed a sad
day for Channel 8.
878
00:55:11,100 --> 00:55:13,669
We've been number one in this
town for the past 10 years
879
00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:17,298
and now our sponsors are
pulling their accounts.
880
00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:20,634
We're losing valuable
advertising revenue.
881
00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:23,971
We're losing credibility
in the market.
882
00:55:24,071 --> 00:55:25,598
And, why?
883
00:55:25,698 --> 00:55:28,726
Because of some
fly-by-night UHF station!
884
00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:32,354
A UHF station!
885
00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:35,274
This is an embarrassment, a disgrace!
886
00:55:35,374 --> 00:55:39,987
What do you think R.J. Fletcher, Sr.
would be saying if he were alive today?
887
00:55:40,087 --> 00:55:43,282
"Help, let me out of this box.
I can't breathe in here.
888
00:55:43,382 --> 00:55:45,616
Help. Let me out."
889
00:55:47,428 --> 00:55:48,996
We've gotta do something.
890
00:55:49,096 --> 00:55:51,497
We've gotta do it fast.
891
00:55:54,435 --> 00:55:58,255
Who owns that station, anyway?
892
00:55:58,355 --> 00:56:01,967
Let me be your hog
893
00:56:02,067 --> 00:56:04,887
Let me be your hog, now...
894
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,807
I said, baby, baby, baby
895
00:56:08,907 --> 00:56:11,417
baby, baby, baby...
896
00:56:12,995 --> 00:56:15,648
Yo! Heh, heh.
897
00:56:15,748 --> 00:56:18,192
Hey, Big Louie. What's happening?
898
00:56:18,292 --> 00:56:20,694
Bad news, Mr. Bilchik.
899
00:56:20,794 --> 00:56:22,780
None of your horses came in.
900
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,907
Oh, that's too bad.
901
00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:28,327
So, what's the damages, huh?
902
00:56:28,427 --> 00:56:31,412
$75,000.
903
00:56:35,225 --> 00:56:36,794
Oh, excuse me, Louie.
904
00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:39,630
I think I got a little
water in the phone here.
905
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:42,341
How much did you say that was again?
906
00:56:42,441 --> 00:56:45,219
$75,000.
907
00:56:45,319 --> 00:56:48,264
I'll be expecting
payment in two days.
908
00:56:48,364 --> 00:56:50,474
Two days?
909
00:56:50,574 --> 00:56:51,892
Hey, listen, Louie.
910
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:54,937
I might need a little
bit more time, huh?
911
00:56:55,037 --> 00:56:57,564
Friday night, 10:00.
912
00:56:57,664 --> 00:57:01,108
75,000 in cash.
913
00:57:07,383 --> 00:57:09,825
I'm dead meat.
914
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:22,256
- Yeah, what?
- Mr. Bilchik?
915
00:57:22,356 --> 00:57:24,298
This is R.J. Fletcher.
916
00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:33,517
Can I help you?
917
00:57:33,617 --> 00:57:36,101
No, thanks. Just taking
a few measurements.
918
00:57:44,002 --> 00:57:46,071
Wait a minute. I think I
missed something here.
919
00:57:46,171 --> 00:57:47,990
Oh, didn't I tell you?
920
00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:49,867
I own this place now.
921
00:57:49,967 --> 00:57:51,452
You what?
922
00:57:51,552 --> 00:57:54,038
What's the matter, kid,
you got wax in your ears?
923
00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:55,456
But my uncle Harvey...
924
00:57:55,556 --> 00:57:57,541
Harvey Bilchik is flying in
tonight to close the deal.
925
00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:59,043
I don't believe this.
926
00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:01,003
- Hold this, kid.
- George, do something.
927
00:58:01,103 --> 00:58:03,255
Hey! W-wait a minute.
928
00:58:03,355 --> 00:58:05,341
Don't you already own Channel 8?
929
00:58:05,441 --> 00:58:09,134
I mean, isn't it illegal to own two
television stations in the same town?
930
00:58:10,154 --> 00:58:12,765
Oh...
931
00:58:12,865 --> 00:58:14,183
really?
932
00:58:14,283 --> 00:58:15,851
Gee...
933
00:58:15,951 --> 00:58:18,270
I guess I'll have to turn this
place into a parking lot.
934
00:58:20,539 --> 00:58:23,190
Toodle-oo! Ha ha ha!
935
00:58:32,009 --> 00:58:34,161
Harvey, I still don't understand
936
00:58:34,261 --> 00:58:35,829
what this is all about.
937
00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:37,706
I told you, I just gotta wrap
up a little business deal,
938
00:58:37,806 --> 00:58:39,124
and I'll be back in a few days
939
00:58:39,224 --> 00:58:41,960
and I'll tell you about it then?
940
00:58:42,060 --> 00:58:44,671
You take care of yourself, you hear?
941
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:47,631
- Bye.
- Bye.
942
00:58:52,362 --> 00:58:53,972
Hello?
943
00:58:54,072 --> 00:58:56,600
Oh, hi, George.
944
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,685
It's so good to hear from you.
945
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,978
How's everything?
946
00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:04,773
He what?
947
00:59:05,417 --> 00:59:09,153
Harvey Bilchik, get in here!
948
00:59:15,719 --> 00:59:17,621
Uncle Harvey, at least
give me a chance
949
00:59:17,721 --> 00:59:19,665
to match his offer.
950
00:59:19,765 --> 00:59:21,750
Well, let me worry about
951
00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:24,169
where I'm going to come
up with the money.
952
00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:28,424
Yeah. 75,000 in cash by Friday night.
953
00:59:28,524 --> 00:59:30,592
10:00. Yeah, I got it.
954
00:59:30,692 --> 00:59:32,302
Okay.
955
00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:33,720
Okay.
956
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,512
Okay, bye.
957
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:38,392
Oh, George,
958
00:59:38,492 --> 00:59:40,561
where are you gonna come up
with that kind of money?
959
00:59:40,661 --> 00:59:43,439
Yeah, and what are you
gonna do about Fletcher?
960
00:59:43,539 --> 00:59:45,441
Fletcher...
961
00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:48,527
yeah, I wouldn't put
anything past that guy.
962
00:59:48,627 --> 00:59:52,655
If there were only some way
we could keep an eye on him.
963
01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:41,413
Continental flight 414 now arriving
964
01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:44,873
from Los Angeles at gate seven.
965
01:00:51,857 --> 01:00:54,216
Hey.
966
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,430
Harvey.
967
01:00:58,530 --> 01:01:00,307
Harvey Bilchik.
968
01:01:00,407 --> 01:01:03,477
Great to see you. R.J. Fletcher.
969
01:01:03,577 --> 01:01:06,146
- Did you have a good flight?
- Yeah.
970
01:01:06,246 --> 01:01:08,232
- Want some peanuts?
- No, thank you.
971
01:01:08,332 --> 01:01:12,152
Mr. Bilchik,
while you're here in town,
972
01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:14,738
I want to make sure that
you're very comfortable.
973
01:01:14,838 --> 01:01:18,158
Anything special you want,
you just let me know.
974
01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:22,246
Now... what do you say we
take care of a little business?
975
01:01:22,346 --> 01:01:25,207
I've got all the cash right here.
976
01:01:25,307 --> 01:01:27,626
And as soon as you sign these,
977
01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:30,379
- we can start celebrating.
- Yeah, well, listen...
978
01:01:30,479 --> 01:01:32,256
I-I-I gotta talk to you about that.
979
01:01:32,356 --> 01:01:33,674
What? What's wrong?
980
01:01:33,774 --> 01:01:35,509
Well, you see, the thing is, that,
981
01:01:35,609 --> 01:01:37,886
I promised George that
I'd give him a chance
982
01:01:37,986 --> 01:01:39,805
to get all the money by Friday night.
983
01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:41,974
What are you talking about?
We had a deal!
984
01:01:42,074 --> 01:01:43,809
Yeah, I know, I'm sorry about that,
985
01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:45,978
but it's just something I had to do.
Don't worry about it.
986
01:01:46,078 --> 01:01:47,479
There's no possible way
987
01:01:47,579 --> 01:01:49,189
that kid can come up
with 75,000 bucks
988
01:01:49,289 --> 01:01:51,398
in two days.
989
01:01:58,006 --> 01:01:59,950
George Newman.
990
01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:01,535
He starts where the others stop.
991
01:02:01,635 --> 01:02:04,121
Sex with furniture...
what do you think?
992
01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:07,374
The world watched in amazement
as he unlocked the mysteries
993
01:02:07,474 --> 01:02:09,585
of Al Capone's glove compartment.
994
01:02:09,685 --> 01:02:11,420
Aha!
995
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,338
Road maps!
996
01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:15,340
He blew the lid off Satanism.
997
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,259
Look, all I was trying to say...
998
01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:19,219
Oh, shut up, you pinhead!
999
01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:20,762
You make me sick!
1000
01:02:20,862 --> 01:02:22,472
Sometimes shocking,
1001
01:02:22,572 --> 01:02:25,183
always controversial,
he deals with topics
1002
01:02:25,283 --> 01:02:27,853
that the other talk shows
are afraid to touch.
1003
01:02:27,953 --> 01:02:31,398
He pries, he pokes, he digs deep.
1004
01:02:31,498 --> 01:02:34,026
He gets the answers.
He gets the facts.
1005
01:02:34,126 --> 01:02:36,653
And most of all, he gets the ratings.
1006
01:02:42,134 --> 01:02:45,329
Lesbian Nazi hookers abducted by UFOs
1007
01:02:45,429 --> 01:02:47,331
and forced into
weight-loss programs...
1008
01:02:47,431 --> 01:02:50,290
all this week on "Town Talk."
1009
01:03:05,699 --> 01:03:08,477
George, what's the matter?
1010
01:03:08,577 --> 01:03:11,521
Stanley, you don't wanna know.
1011
01:03:11,621 --> 01:03:13,730
Well...
1012
01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:16,608
why'd I ask?
1013
01:03:21,006 --> 01:03:24,576
Is there something I can do to help?
1014
01:03:24,676 --> 01:03:27,870
Not unless you've got $75,000.
1015
01:03:34,227 --> 01:03:36,797
Let's see...
1016
01:03:36,897 --> 01:03:39,675
no, sorry.
1017
01:03:39,775 --> 01:03:42,761
This is ridiculous.
1018
01:03:42,861 --> 01:03:45,345
There must be something I could do.
1019
01:03:51,244 --> 01:03:54,648
The U-62 telethon is on the air!
1020
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:02,406
Hey, Dad,
1021
01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:04,408
you'd better turn on Channel 62.
1022
01:04:04,508 --> 01:04:07,075
Something funny's going on.
1023
01:04:10,931 --> 01:04:13,417
Now, we're not asking for donations.
1024
01:04:13,517 --> 01:04:15,293
What we are doing
is offering this town
1025
01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:17,462
a unique business opportunity.
1026
01:04:17,562 --> 01:04:22,509
This is one share of
stock in Channel 62.
1027
01:04:22,609 --> 01:04:25,470
Our goal over the next day and a half
1028
01:04:25,570 --> 01:04:28,473
is to sell 7,500 of these
1029
01:04:28,573 --> 01:04:30,517
at $10 apiece.
1030
01:04:30,617 --> 01:04:34,354
If we succeed, then the station
will belong to all of us.
1031
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:36,648
Now, I'm calling out an SOS!
1032
01:04:36,748 --> 01:04:40,026
"Save Our Station."
1033
01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:42,654
We got volunteers right over here.
They'll be taking your money.
1034
01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:45,407
They're gonna be working
around the clock for two days
1035
01:04:45,507 --> 01:04:47,951
until every share is sold.
1036
01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:50,203
What do you say, kids? Can we do it?
1037
01:05:02,858 --> 01:05:06,428
I think it's time you boys paid
1038
01:05:06,528 --> 01:05:11,265
our Mr. Spadowski a little visit.
1039
01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:17,147
Yeah, I'm calling you on
behalf of our station.
1040
01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:18,690
We're having this telethon.
We're trying...
1041
01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:21,026
we're really raising a lot of
money here for the channel.
1042
01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:24,029
We'd really appreciate
it if you could help us.
1043
01:05:24,129 --> 01:05:25,697
Well, you...
bring your dogs down here.
1044
01:05:25,797 --> 01:05:27,657
I'll wash them for you.
1045
01:05:27,757 --> 01:05:29,951
Huh?
1046
01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:31,453
Well, so far, guys,
1047
01:05:31,553 --> 01:05:33,789
your response has
really been incredible,
1048
01:05:33,889 --> 01:05:36,666
but we've still got a long way to go.
1049
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:39,544
Remember, when you buy stock in U-62,
1050
01:05:39,644 --> 01:05:43,048
you're not only helping
yourself and your community...
1051
01:05:43,148 --> 01:05:45,133
You're doing great, Stanley.
1052
01:05:45,233 --> 01:05:47,594
Now, remember,
you gotta pace yourself.
1053
01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:49,554
You got a long way to go
before tomorrow night.
1054
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:51,847
Yeah, I can do it,
George. I can do it.
1055
01:05:52,490 --> 01:05:55,769
All right, now, just take it easy.
1056
01:05:58,622 --> 01:06:01,399
- Is there anything I can get you?
- Some Play-Doh.
1057
01:06:01,499 --> 01:06:02,943
Okay.
1058
01:06:03,043 --> 01:06:04,861
No, no, no, George,
get me some bubbles,
1059
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:08,905
- some real big bubbles.
- I'll see what I can do.
1060
01:06:16,688 --> 01:06:17,833
Who is it?
1061
01:06:17,933 --> 01:06:21,253
Got a pizza here for
Mr. Stanley Spadowski.
1062
01:06:21,353 --> 01:06:25,047
Pizza? For me? Oh, boy!
1063
01:06:28,026 --> 01:06:29,845
I like peppers.
1064
01:06:29,945 --> 01:06:31,805
But I love anchovies
1065
01:06:31,905 --> 01:06:33,682
because they're real fishy.
1066
01:06:33,782 --> 01:06:35,851
Sometimes I just like to get a pizza
1067
01:06:35,951 --> 01:06:37,602
with nothing on it but anchovies.
1068
01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:39,521
No peppers or olives or onions.
1069
01:06:39,621 --> 01:06:42,482
Just anchovies 'cause they're good.
1070
01:06:42,582 --> 01:06:45,151
So, are we going to kill him?
1071
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:48,154
No. The boss just wants us
to keep him on ice for a while.
1072
01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:50,447
Easy, easy.
1073
01:06:51,216 --> 01:06:52,576
Hey, wait a minute.
1074
01:06:52,676 --> 01:06:55,494
You guys aren't from the pizza place.
1075
01:07:06,022 --> 01:07:08,466
Oh, George! George,
you've got to do something.
1076
01:07:08,566 --> 01:07:11,136
Every minute that Stanley's not
on the air, we're losing money.
1077
01:07:11,236 --> 01:07:14,097
Yeah. Listen, just stall
as long as you can.
1078
01:07:14,197 --> 01:07:16,099
- I'm sure he'll turn up.
- Okay.
1079
01:07:16,199 --> 01:07:18,184
- What did the police say?
- They're doing everything they can.
1080
01:07:18,284 --> 01:07:21,686
I'm telling you, George,
Fletcher's behind this. I just know it.
1081
01:07:31,506 --> 01:07:34,284
Okay. I'm thinking of something...
1082
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:35,827
orange.
1083
01:07:35,927 --> 01:07:37,704
Something orange.
1084
01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:39,623
Orange.
1085
01:07:39,723 --> 01:07:41,708
You give up?
1086
01:07:41,808 --> 01:07:43,868
It's an orange. Get it?
1087
01:07:44,468 --> 01:07:46,004
This is fun, huh?
1088
01:07:46,104 --> 01:07:48,173
Okay. Now I'm thinking
of something...
1089
01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:49,716
blue.
1090
01:07:49,816 --> 01:07:52,218
Something blue.
1091
01:07:52,318 --> 01:07:54,304
Let me kill him.
1092
01:07:54,404 --> 01:07:56,681
Please, let me kill him.
1093
01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,109
What?
1094
01:08:09,669 --> 01:08:13,281
Wh... what?
1095
01:08:13,381 --> 01:08:15,490
Oh...
1096
01:08:17,093 --> 01:08:19,537
what?
1097
01:08:19,637 --> 01:08:22,497
Don't you like "Bonanza"?
1098
01:08:36,905 --> 01:08:39,389
Okay, Philo, go to commercial.
1099
01:08:43,661 --> 01:08:46,523
Next week on U-62...
1100
01:08:46,623 --> 01:08:49,484
He's back,
1101
01:08:49,584 --> 01:08:53,445
and this time, he's mad.
1102
01:08:54,089 --> 01:08:55,782
"Gandhi II"!
1103
01:08:55,882 --> 01:08:58,493
No more Mr. Passive Resistance.
1104
01:08:58,593 --> 01:09:00,078
He's out to kick some butt.
1105
01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:04,165
This is one bad mother
1106
01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:06,167
you don't wanna mess with.
1107
01:09:06,267 --> 01:09:08,418
Yah!
1108
01:09:11,189 --> 01:09:13,591
Don't move, slimeball.
1109
01:09:15,777 --> 01:09:19,179
He's a one-man wrecking crew.
1110
01:09:20,990 --> 01:09:24,309
But he also knows how to party.
1111
01:09:26,412 --> 01:09:28,440
Give me a steak, medium rare.
1112
01:09:28,540 --> 01:09:30,442
Hey, baldy!
1113
01:09:30,542 --> 01:09:32,235
There is only one law...
1114
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:34,361
his law.
1115
01:09:36,339 --> 01:09:39,282
"Gandhi II"!
1116
01:09:41,136 --> 01:09:43,703
Hey, mister!
1117
01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:47,042
Change? You got change?
1118
01:09:47,142 --> 01:09:48,710
Do you mind? Get out of my way.
1119
01:09:48,810 --> 01:09:52,422
Hey, come on.
Can't you help a guy out?
1120
01:09:52,522 --> 01:09:54,548
Anything.
1121
01:09:58,695 --> 01:10:01,555
Don't spend it all in one place.
1122
01:10:06,494 --> 01:10:08,521
I can't believe it!
1123
01:10:08,621 --> 01:10:10,815
Oh, thanks, mister.
1124
01:10:10,915 --> 01:10:12,817
Thanks a lot!
1125
01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:29,334
Mr. Fletcher?
1126
01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:31,544
May I speak to you for a moment?
1127
01:10:31,644 --> 01:10:34,130
Personnel's that way, young lady.
1128
01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:36,257
No, I'm not here about a job.
1129
01:10:36,357 --> 01:10:38,885
I'd like to talk to
you about Channel 62.
1130
01:10:38,985 --> 01:10:41,262
Channel 62? Oh, yes.
1131
01:10:41,362 --> 01:10:43,056
My demolition team is looking forward
1132
01:10:43,156 --> 01:10:45,600
to turning it into a rubble
heap Saturday morning.
1133
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:47,477
Wait a minute.
1134
01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:50,438
Will you please just listen?
1135
01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:52,649
George Newman has
turned that little station
1136
01:10:52,749 --> 01:10:54,818
into something this
community cares about.
1137
01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:57,779
George Newman is
a two-bit little punk
1138
01:10:57,879 --> 01:11:00,073
who should never have stuck
his nose where it didn't belong.
1139
01:11:00,173 --> 01:11:02,408
And if he sent you here
to try to make a deal...
1140
01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:04,702
George doesn't know I'm here.
1141
01:11:04,802 --> 01:11:07,205
Look, it just seems to me that
1142
01:11:07,305 --> 01:11:10,416
there's more than enough room
for both of you in this town.
1143
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:11,876
Besides, a little competition
1144
01:11:11,976 --> 01:11:13,711
is always good for the community.
1145
01:11:13,811 --> 01:11:16,506
The community?
Let me tell you something.
1146
01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:19,050
This community means
about as much to me
1147
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:22,552
as a festering bowl of dog snot.
1148
01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:33,982
You guys?
1149
01:11:34,082 --> 01:11:35,942
Hey, you guys!
1150
01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:38,278
The blindfold fell off.
1151
01:11:38,378 --> 01:11:40,071
You better come fix it.
1152
01:11:40,171 --> 01:11:43,158
I didn't mean for it to... whoa!
1153
01:11:43,258 --> 01:11:46,286
Hey, my shirt glows in the dark!
1154
01:11:48,388 --> 01:11:50,790
Will you shut him up?
1155
01:11:50,890 --> 01:11:53,376
Oh, I got an itch. I got an itch.
1156
01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:55,251
I got an itch. I got an itch.
1157
01:11:57,105 --> 01:11:59,382
I got an itch. I got an itch.
1158
01:11:59,482 --> 01:12:02,133
- I got an itch, I got an itch.
- Stanley.
1159
01:12:02,777 --> 01:12:04,804
I don't want to have
to tell you this again.
1160
01:12:04,904 --> 01:12:07,640
Shut up.
1161
01:12:07,740 --> 01:12:10,727
You're making us nuts.
1162
01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:12,770
Now...
1163
01:12:12,870 --> 01:12:16,024
I got three guys out here
1164
01:12:16,124 --> 01:12:20,193
that would love to
cut your tongue out,
1165
01:12:21,296 --> 01:12:23,489
but I don't want them to do that.
1166
01:12:23,589 --> 01:12:26,868
I told them that in
another couple of hours
1167
01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:28,953
this whole thing will be over,.
1168
01:12:29,053 --> 01:12:32,874
So, Stanley, be nice.
1169
01:12:32,974 --> 01:12:35,500
My mop!
1170
01:12:43,199 --> 01:12:44,685
Freeze!
1171
01:12:53,286 --> 01:12:54,812
- Hey!
- Get him!
1172
01:12:54,912 --> 01:12:57,148
- He's getting away!
- Let's get him!
1173
01:12:57,248 --> 01:13:00,275
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Get out of my way!
1174
01:13:47,006 --> 01:13:49,240
Not gonna get me.
1175
01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:06,174
Yeah.
1176
01:14:16,577 --> 01:14:18,770
Stanley.
1177
01:14:20,540 --> 01:14:24,235
Don't move, Spadowski.
1178
01:14:24,335 --> 01:14:27,320
Don't even breathe.
1179
01:14:33,845 --> 01:14:37,163
Wh-what are we gonna do now?
1180
01:14:37,932 --> 01:14:40,375
I'll handle this.
1181
01:17:11,586 --> 01:17:14,445
Ooh!
1182
01:17:49,290 --> 01:17:51,566
Whoa.
1183
01:17:53,044 --> 01:17:54,986
Oh.
1184
01:18:37,797 --> 01:18:39,365
Oh, boy!
1185
01:19:00,695 --> 01:19:03,012
Who is this guy?
1186
01:19:04,281 --> 01:19:07,350
I'm your worst nightmare.
1187
01:19:11,038 --> 01:19:13,774
Listen, I can see you
guys are pretty busy.
1188
01:19:13,874 --> 01:19:15,818
How about if I just come back later?
1189
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:17,445
Forget it, pal.
1190
01:19:17,545 --> 01:19:20,072
We're all going for a little ride.
1191
01:19:20,172 --> 01:19:22,617
Oh. Well, we'll have
to take your car.
1192
01:19:22,717 --> 01:19:24,285
Mine's a two-seater.
1193
01:19:24,385 --> 01:19:26,537
Just shut up, kid.
1194
01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:29,707
You know, you really
botched things up.
1195
01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:34,293
If you hadn't stuck your
face in our business...
1196
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:38,131
we'd all be going home real soon.
1197
01:19:39,608 --> 01:19:42,762
But now I'm gonna have to take you
1198
01:19:42,862 --> 01:19:45,973
and your friend out of commission...
1199
01:19:46,073 --> 01:19:48,224
for good.
1200
01:19:49,785 --> 01:19:51,562
Redrum!
1201
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:53,187
Redrum!
1202
01:19:54,956 --> 01:19:57,318
What was that? Hold on.
1203
01:19:57,418 --> 01:19:59,695
- I thought I heard something.
- What?
1204
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:03,699
- I don't know. I just thought...
- Supplies!
1205
01:20:19,190 --> 01:20:21,175
Hey, everybody, they're back.
1206
01:20:33,078 --> 01:20:35,521
Yeah!
1207
01:21:05,653 --> 01:21:07,513
Dee dee
1208
01:21:07,613 --> 01:21:09,348
Dee dee du dee dee
1209
01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:10,516
Da da dee dee
1210
01:21:10,616 --> 01:21:12,892
Da dee dee...
1211
01:21:17,998 --> 01:21:19,525
Friends,
1212
01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:22,903
there comes a time
in every man's life
1213
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:25,573
where he has to look
the potato of injustice
1214
01:21:25,673 --> 01:21:27,450
right in the eye.
1215
01:21:27,550 --> 01:21:30,661
There's a powerful evil
force in the universe.
1216
01:21:30,761 --> 01:21:33,038
And it lives at Channel 8.
And I've seen it,
1217
01:21:33,138 --> 01:21:37,126
and I don't want it to pop its ugly,
greasy head around here,
1218
01:21:37,226 --> 01:21:39,378
- do you?
- No!
1219
01:21:39,478 --> 01:21:41,922
- I can't hear you!
- No!
1220
01:21:42,022 --> 01:21:44,717
- I can't hear you!
- No!
1221
01:21:44,817 --> 01:21:47,762
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
1222
01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:51,390
All right, say it again.
1223
01:21:51,490 --> 01:21:53,809
- No!
- All right!
1224
01:21:53,909 --> 01:21:55,853
And now a special report
1225
01:21:55,953 --> 01:21:58,355
from the owner and general
manager of Channel 8,
1226
01:21:58,455 --> 01:22:00,357
R.J. Fletcher.
1227
01:22:00,457 --> 01:22:02,359
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1228
01:22:02,459 --> 01:22:04,612
I come before you tonight
1229
01:22:04,712 --> 01:22:06,113
to speak on a matter
1230
01:22:06,213 --> 01:22:09,116
which is of grave concern to us all.
1231
01:22:09,216 --> 01:22:11,452
I want to show you
1232
01:22:11,552 --> 01:22:13,996
how one small television station
1233
01:22:14,096 --> 01:22:18,667
can single-handedly
disrupt and destroy
1234
01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:22,087
the moral fiber of
an entire community.
1235
01:22:22,187 --> 01:22:25,424
The following may upset you.
1236
01:22:25,524 --> 01:22:27,426
It may even shock you.
1237
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:33,557
But I feel it is my duty
as a concerned citizen
1238
01:22:33,657 --> 01:22:38,185
to bring you this important message.
1239
01:22:40,414 --> 01:22:42,733
This community means
about as much to me
1240
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:45,694
as a festering bowl of dog snot.
1241
01:22:45,794 --> 01:22:49,156
You think I care about the
pea-brained yokels of this town?
1242
01:22:49,256 --> 01:22:53,369
If you took their combined
IQ and multiplied it by 100,
1243
01:22:53,469 --> 01:22:56,038
you might have enough
intelligence to tie your shoe,
1244
01:22:56,138 --> 01:22:59,041
if you didn't drool all
over yourself first.
1245
01:22:59,141 --> 01:23:02,127
I can't stand those
sniveling maggots.
1246
01:23:02,227 --> 01:23:04,338
They make me want to puke.
1247
01:23:04,438 --> 01:23:06,590
But there is one good
thing about broadcasting
1248
01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:09,802
to a town full of mindless sheep...
1249
01:23:09,902 --> 01:23:12,346
I always know I've got them
1250
01:23:12,446 --> 01:23:15,349
exactly where I want them.
1251
01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:35,870
$73,000!
1252
01:23:37,554 --> 01:23:40,541
We just hit the $73,000 mark!
1253
01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:43,002
Okay, Mouseketeers, come on.
1254
01:23:43,102 --> 01:23:45,336
We can do it. Woo!
1255
01:23:47,147 --> 01:23:49,632
What do you say, stranger?
1256
01:23:50,401 --> 01:23:52,051
Teri.
1257
01:23:53,487 --> 01:23:55,306
What are you doing here?
1258
01:23:55,406 --> 01:23:56,765
I thought you never
wanted to see me again.
1259
01:23:56,865 --> 01:24:00,226
Well, whatever gave you that idea?
1260
01:24:00,953 --> 01:24:02,479
Well, I think my first
clue was when you said
1261
01:24:02,579 --> 01:24:04,023
you never wanted to see me again.
1262
01:24:04,123 --> 01:24:07,359
Oh. Well, George...
1263
01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:09,194
no matter what happens tonight,
1264
01:24:09,294 --> 01:24:12,488
I just want you to know
that I'm so proud of you.
1265
01:24:18,220 --> 01:24:19,914
Uncle Harvey.
1266
01:24:20,014 --> 01:24:22,249
Listen, we'll definitely
have the money for you,
1267
01:24:22,349 --> 01:24:24,752
it just may take a few minutes
longer than we expected.
1268
01:24:24,852 --> 01:24:26,545
Look, kid, if it was up to me,
1269
01:24:26,645 --> 01:24:28,422
I'd let you have all the time
you wanted, but you know,
1270
01:24:28,522 --> 01:24:31,759
Big Louie is a very punctual kind
of guy, you know what I mean?
1271
01:24:31,859 --> 01:24:33,884
I wouldn't wanna keep him waiting.
1272
01:24:36,864 --> 01:24:38,682
Whoa, whoa.
1273
01:24:38,782 --> 01:24:41,268
Okay, okay. I know
a lot of you people
1274
01:24:41,368 --> 01:24:43,145
probably like to wait
till the last minute.
1275
01:24:43,245 --> 01:24:46,023
Well, this is it!
This is the last minute!
1276
01:24:46,123 --> 01:24:47,858
What are you doing here?
1277
01:24:47,958 --> 01:24:50,235
You're disturbing the peace. Come on.
1278
01:24:50,335 --> 01:24:52,738
Out of the way.
Why aren't you home in bed?
1279
01:24:52,838 --> 01:24:55,074
Get out of here.
1280
01:24:55,174 --> 01:24:56,951
Stand back. Out of my way.
1281
01:24:57,051 --> 01:25:00,955
Look out.
1282
01:25:01,055 --> 01:25:04,166
Aw!
1283
01:25:04,266 --> 01:25:07,209
This party is over, Mr. Newman.
1284
01:25:10,731 --> 01:25:13,132
You can say that again.
1285
01:25:21,450 --> 01:25:24,186
Okay, Fletcher...
1286
01:25:24,286 --> 01:25:26,021
you win. Give me the money.
1287
01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:27,314
Settle down.
1288
01:25:27,414 --> 01:25:29,775
All in good time, Mr. Bilchik.
1289
01:25:29,875 --> 01:25:32,653
What, are you crazy?
Give me the money!
1290
01:25:32,753 --> 01:25:35,239
Please, if you don't mind,
1291
01:25:35,339 --> 01:25:38,909
there are a few things I'd
like to say to these people
1292
01:25:39,009 --> 01:25:42,536
before this transaction takes place.
1293
01:25:45,472 --> 01:25:46,582
What?
1294
01:25:55,109 --> 01:25:58,053
Dear friends,
1295
01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:02,099
I'm sure that one day you'll realize
1296
01:26:02,199 --> 01:26:03,976
that by shutting down
1297
01:26:04,076 --> 01:26:06,645
this hotbed of subversive activity...
1298
01:26:06,745 --> 01:26:08,814
Hey, mister!
1299
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:10,315
Not now, okay?
1300
01:26:10,415 --> 01:26:12,484
I was just wondering if it's too late
1301
01:26:12,584 --> 01:26:14,194
to buy any of them shares.
1302
01:26:14,294 --> 01:26:17,281
I'll take whatever you got left.
1303
01:26:17,381 --> 01:26:21,326
- How much is that?
- $2,000.
1304
01:26:22,626 --> 01:26:24,611
Keep the change.
1305
01:26:25,931 --> 01:26:31,462
I have decided not to tear
down the building after all.
1306
01:26:31,562 --> 01:26:34,798
I am going to turn
it into a laundromat.
1307
01:26:34,898 --> 01:26:37,801
Mr. Big Louie, sir?
1308
01:26:37,901 --> 01:26:40,846
My uncle Harvey wanted
you to have this.
1309
01:26:40,946 --> 01:26:44,559
$75,000. It's all there.
1310
01:26:45,159 --> 01:26:46,769
Now let me tell you something...
1311
01:26:46,869 --> 01:26:49,230
Uncle Harvey.
1312
01:26:49,830 --> 01:26:51,940
Hey, what's going on here?
1313
01:26:53,625 --> 01:26:56,612
Now, wait just one minute!
What do think you're doing?
1314
01:26:56,712 --> 01:26:58,280
We did it! The station's ours!
1315
01:27:25,365 --> 01:27:27,726
- Wow, look at that!
- You can't do this!
1316
01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:31,021
We had an agreement, remember?
An oral contract.
1317
01:27:31,121 --> 01:27:32,356
I'll sue.
1318
01:27:32,456 --> 01:27:34,982
Oh, blow it out your ear, scuzbag.
1319
01:27:36,168 --> 01:27:37,945
R.J. Fletcher?
1320
01:27:38,045 --> 01:27:40,781
- So what if I am?
- I'm John Vickers, F.C.C.
1321
01:27:40,881 --> 01:27:42,699
I've noticed your
that station is late
1322
01:27:42,799 --> 01:27:45,202
in filing its license
renewal this year.
1323
01:27:45,302 --> 01:27:47,204
Now, normally, this kind of violation
1324
01:27:47,304 --> 01:27:48,956
is punishable by a stiff fine,
1325
01:27:49,056 --> 01:27:50,624
but I've been watching you lately.
1326
01:27:50,724 --> 01:27:52,793
You made a big impression on me.
1327
01:27:52,893 --> 01:27:55,212
Yeah, I'm revoking your license.
1328
01:27:55,312 --> 01:27:57,713
Effective immediately,
you're off the air.
1329
01:27:58,565 --> 01:28:00,759
Hi, Pamela Finklestein here
1330
01:28:00,859 --> 01:28:03,053
coming to you with the most
incredible turn of events.
1331
01:28:03,153 --> 01:28:06,348
Not only has the once-powerful
corporate broadcasting giant
1332
01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:08,600
been thoroughly crushed and defeated,
1333
01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,144
but now, as luck would have it,
1334
01:28:10,244 --> 01:28:13,814
they've been completely stripped
of their license by the F.C.C.!
1335
01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:18,567
What do you have to say about it,
you worthless, slobbering pig?
1336
01:28:19,544 --> 01:28:21,738
Dad? Where's my dad?
1337
01:28:21,838 --> 01:28:24,198
What's going on here? Whoa!
1338
01:28:27,719 --> 01:28:30,664
Oh, did I do that?
1339
01:28:30,764 --> 01:28:32,791
Oopsie!
1340
01:28:32,891 --> 01:28:37,004
Dad!
1341
01:28:37,104 --> 01:28:38,172
Philo!
1342
01:28:38,272 --> 01:28:41,175
Hey, you really went beyond the call
of duty on this one, pal. Thanks.
1343
01:28:41,275 --> 01:28:43,260
I'm glad to have been
of service, George.
1344
01:28:43,360 --> 01:28:47,764
Well, i-i-it appears my work
on this planet is complete.
1345
01:28:47,864 --> 01:28:49,600
I must now return to my home
1346
01:28:49,700 --> 01:28:52,144
on the planet Zarkon.
1347
01:28:52,244 --> 01:28:55,187
Okay. Well, have fun.
1348
01:28:59,167 --> 01:29:01,361
Hey, nice going, kid.
1349
01:29:01,461 --> 01:29:03,655
I didn't know you had it in you.
1350
01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:06,283
- You're okay.
- Thanks, Uncle Harvey.
1351
01:29:06,383 --> 01:29:09,786
- Have a nice flight back to the coast.
- Thanks.
1352
01:29:09,886 --> 01:29:12,830
- Say hi to Aunt Esther for me.
- Sure will.
1353
01:29:15,350 --> 01:29:17,294
Excuse me.
1354
01:29:17,394 --> 01:29:19,296
Aren't you R.J. Fletcher?
1355
01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:23,006
Yes! Ooh!
1356
01:29:23,775 --> 01:29:26,178
Yeah!
1357
01:29:26,278 --> 01:29:29,223
Hey, Stanley, congratulations.
You really pulled us through.
1358
01:29:29,323 --> 01:29:32,100
George, I want you to know that I'm
mighty proud to be a part of your team.
1359
01:29:32,200 --> 01:29:33,602
Well, I'm mighty proud
of you, too, Stanley.
1360
01:29:33,702 --> 01:29:37,271
In fact, I'd like to present you
with a small token of my gratitude.
1361
01:29:38,832 --> 01:29:41,151
A trophy.
1362
01:29:41,251 --> 01:29:43,403
That... that's me?
1363
01:29:43,503 --> 01:29:46,698
"Stanley... World's greatest janitor
1364
01:29:46,798 --> 01:29:49,493
and TV Star."
1365
01:29:49,593 --> 01:29:52,329
Aw, George,
1366
01:29:52,429 --> 01:29:54,915
I never had anybody give
me a trophy before.
1367
01:29:55,015 --> 01:29:57,960
It's... it's big.
1368
01:29:58,060 --> 01:30:02,130
George, you're my best
friend in the whole world.
1369
01:30:02,230 --> 01:30:04,091
I'm gonna go show
everybody right now.
1370
01:30:04,191 --> 01:30:05,592
Hey, everybody,
1371
01:30:05,692 --> 01:30:07,511
look at what George gave me!
1372
01:30:07,611 --> 01:30:11,181
Hey! Hey, I know you.
1373
01:30:11,281 --> 01:30:13,475
You're the guy that gave me
1374
01:30:13,575 --> 01:30:17,604
that 1955 double-die
Denver mint penny.
1375
01:30:17,704 --> 01:30:20,774
Oh, ho, ho, thanks a lot, mister.
1376
01:30:20,874 --> 01:30:24,319
That thing was worth a fortune.
1377
01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,238
When I cashed it in,
1378
01:30:26,338 --> 01:30:29,658
I got enough money to buy
a whole bunch of shares,
1379
01:30:29,758 --> 01:30:33,662
plus I got me a real neat watch.
1380
01:30:33,762 --> 01:30:36,872
It's a Rolex. See?
1381
01:30:46,983 --> 01:30:49,386
George?
1382
01:30:51,446 --> 01:30:54,391
You know those dreams
you're always having?
1383
01:30:54,491 --> 01:30:56,018
Yeah?
1384
01:30:56,118 --> 01:30:59,896
Well, do you think
that maybe sometime
1385
01:30:59,996 --> 01:31:02,439
I could be part of them?
1386
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:06,528
Honey, from now on,
1387
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,864
you're gonna be in all of 'em.
1388
01:31:08,964 --> 01:31:12,409
Oh, George.
1389
01:31:12,509 --> 01:31:15,871
Darlin', let's leave
this place right now.
1390
01:31:15,971 --> 01:31:17,748
Let's go this very minute.
1391
01:31:17,848 --> 01:31:20,959
No, dear, please.
Let's wait till tomorrow.
1392
01:31:21,059 --> 01:31:24,212
But why? Why?
1393
01:31:24,312 --> 01:31:27,966
Because tomorrow is another day.
1394
01:31:28,066 --> 01:31:31,593
I knew she was going to say that.
1395
01:32:06,938 --> 01:32:09,174
Put down your remote control
1396
01:32:09,274 --> 01:32:11,842
Throw out your "TV Guide"
1397
01:32:14,321 --> 01:32:16,014
Put away your jacket
1398
01:32:16,114 --> 01:32:19,182
There's no need to go outside
1399
01:32:20,243 --> 01:32:25,524
Don't you know that we
control the horizontal?
1400
01:32:25,624 --> 01:32:29,319
We control the vertical, too
1401
01:32:29,419 --> 01:32:34,241
We gonna make a couch
potato out of you
1402
01:32:34,341 --> 01:32:37,119
That's what we're going to do now
1403
01:32:37,219 --> 01:32:39,162
Don't change the channel
1404
01:32:39,262 --> 01:32:40,997
Don't touch that dial
1405
01:32:41,097 --> 01:32:44,668
We got it all on UHF
1406
01:32:44,768 --> 01:32:46,670
Kick off your sneakers
1407
01:32:46,770 --> 01:32:48,630
Stick around for a while
1408
01:32:48,730 --> 01:32:51,508
We got it all on UHF
1409
01:32:51,608 --> 01:32:53,677
Don't worry about your laundry
1410
01:32:53,777 --> 01:32:55,512
Forget about your job
1411
01:32:55,612 --> 01:32:58,640
Just crank up the volume
and yank off the knob
1412
01:32:58,740 --> 01:33:00,559
- We got it all
- We got it all
1413
01:33:00,659 --> 01:33:01,977
We got it all
1414
01:33:02,077 --> 01:33:04,227
On UHF
1415
01:33:10,418 --> 01:33:12,112
Disconnect the phone
1416
01:33:12,212 --> 01:33:15,322
Now, leave the dishes in the sink
1417
01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:19,619
You better put away your homework
1418
01:33:19,719 --> 01:33:22,913
Prime time ain't no time to think
1419
01:33:23,848 --> 01:33:29,045
All you do is make
yourself a TV dinner
1420
01:33:29,145 --> 01:33:33,300
Press your face right
up against the screen
1421
01:33:33,400 --> 01:33:37,929
We gonna show you things
you ain't ever seen
1422
01:33:38,029 --> 01:33:40,765
If you know what I mean, now
1423
01:33:40,865 --> 01:33:42,601
Don't change the channel
1424
01:33:42,701 --> 01:33:44,644
Don't touch that dial
1425
01:33:44,744 --> 01:33:48,315
We got it all on UHF
1426
01:33:48,415 --> 01:33:50,150
Kick off your sneakers
1427
01:33:50,250 --> 01:33:52,194
Stick around for a while
1428
01:33:52,294 --> 01:33:55,155
We got it all on UHF
1429
01:33:55,255 --> 01:33:57,032
Don't worry about your laundry
1430
01:33:57,132 --> 01:33:58,909
Forget about your job
1431
01:33:59,009 --> 01:34:02,204
Just crank up the volume
and yank off the knob
1432
01:34:02,304 --> 01:34:04,289
- We got it all
- We got it all
1433
01:34:04,389 --> 01:34:05,749
We got it all
1434
01:34:05,849 --> 01:34:07,582
On UHF
1435
01:34:25,410 --> 01:34:29,272
Ahh ahh
1436
01:34:29,372 --> 01:34:33,442
Ahh ahh
1437
01:34:39,674 --> 01:34:43,703
You can watch us all day,
you can watch us all night
1438
01:34:43,803 --> 01:34:47,541
You can watch us
anytime that you please
1439
01:34:47,641 --> 01:34:51,169
You can sit around and
stare at the picture tube
1440
01:34:51,269 --> 01:34:53,922
Till your brain turns
into cottage cheese
1441
01:34:54,022 --> 01:34:55,715
Well, now
1442
01:34:55,815 --> 01:34:57,551
Don't change the channel
1443
01:34:57,651 --> 01:34:59,594
Don't touch that dial
1444
01:34:59,694 --> 01:35:03,223
We got it all on UHF
1445
01:35:03,323 --> 01:35:05,100
Kick off your sneakers
1446
01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:06,977
Stick around for a while
1447
01:35:07,077 --> 01:35:10,188
We got it all on UHF
1448
01:35:10,288 --> 01:35:11,773
Don't worry about your laundry
1449
01:35:11,873 --> 01:35:13,733
Forget about your job
1450
01:35:13,833 --> 01:35:15,652
You got to crank up the volume
1451
01:35:15,752 --> 01:35:17,028
Yank off the knob
1452
01:35:17,128 --> 01:35:19,197
- We got it all
- We got it all
1453
01:35:19,297 --> 01:35:20,490
We got it all
1454
01:35:20,590 --> 01:35:22,075
On UHF
1455
01:35:22,175 --> 01:35:24,494
We got it all on UHF
1456
01:35:24,594 --> 01:35:25,787
UHF
1457
01:35:25,887 --> 01:35:28,039
We got it all on UHF
1458
01:35:28,139 --> 01:35:29,374
UHF
1459
01:35:29,474 --> 01:35:31,626
We got it all on UHF
1460
01:35:31,726 --> 01:35:33,086
UHF
1461
01:35:33,186 --> 01:35:35,880
We got it all on UHF
1462
01:35:35,980 --> 01:35:37,632
We got it all
1463
01:35:37,732 --> 01:35:40,260
We got it all on UHF
1464
01:35:40,360 --> 01:35:44,389
We got it all on UHF
1465
01:35:44,489 --> 01:35:47,976
We got it all on UHF
1466
01:35:48,076 --> 01:35:50,979
We got it all on UHF
1467
01:35:51,079 --> 01:35:52,272
We got it all
1468
01:35:52,372 --> 01:35:55,609
We got it all on UHF
1469
01:35:55,709 --> 01:35:59,195
We got it all on UHF
1470
01:35:59,295 --> 01:36:02,032
We got it all on UHF
1471
01:36:02,132 --> 01:36:05,744
We got it all on UHF
1472
01:36:05,844 --> 01:36:07,120
UHF
1473
01:36:07,220 --> 01:36:10,665
We got it all on UHF
1474
01:36:10,765 --> 01:36:14,294
We got it all on UHF
1475
01:36:14,394 --> 01:36:17,005
We got it all on UHF
1476
01:36:17,105 --> 01:36:18,340
UHF
1477
01:36:18,440 --> 01:36:21,760
We got it all on UHF
1478
01:36:21,860 --> 01:36:25,388
We got it all on UHF
1479
01:36:25,488 --> 01:36:28,850
We got it all on UHF
1480
01:36:28,950 --> 01:36:31,978
We got it all on UHF
1481
01:36:32,078 --> 01:36:33,521
UHF
1482
01:36:33,621 --> 01:36:35,607
We got it all on UHF
1483
01:36:35,707 --> 01:36:37,359
UHF
1484
01:36:37,459 --> 01:36:39,027
We got it all on UHF
1485
01:36:39,127 --> 01:36:40,737
UHF
1486
01:36:40,837 --> 01:36:42,739
We got it all on UHF
1487
01:36:42,839 --> 01:36:44,491
UHF
1488
01:36:44,591 --> 01:36:47,911
We got it all on UHF
1489
01:36:48,011 --> 01:36:51,623
We got it all on UHF
1490
01:36:51,723 --> 01:36:54,683
We got it all on UHF
1491
01:36:54,684 --> 01:36:57,627
We got it all.