1 00:00:57,304 --> 00:00:59,238 Sweetheart, remember that you're doing pickup today 2 00:00:59,306 --> 00:01:01,069 and you need to call the face painter for the party. 3 00:01:01,141 --> 00:01:02,438 Oh, and Henry needs more Lactaid. 4 00:01:02,509 --> 00:01:03,635 All right. Got it. 5 00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,235 Pick up the kids, call the face painter, get Lactaid. I got it. 6 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:07,506 Also, I'm gonna drop by the new house 7 00:01:07,581 --> 00:01:08,605 and see how the work's coming. 8 00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:09,740 Oh, okay, awesome. 9 00:01:09,816 --> 00:01:10,908 Can you make sure that you measure 10 00:01:10,984 --> 00:01:12,144 the backyard for the bouncy castle? 11 00:01:12,219 --> 00:01:14,187 We're gonna have a bouncy castle at our birthday party? 12 00:01:14,254 --> 00:01:15,551 Do you want a bouncy castle? Yeah. 13 00:01:15,655 --> 00:01:17,919 Then, yes, we'll have the best bouncy castle in the whole world! 14 00:01:17,991 --> 00:01:19,822 Bouncy castle! Bouncy castle! Bouncy castle... 15 00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:21,622 And an Ultimate Fighting Octagon? 16 00:01:21,862 --> 00:01:23,090 Uh... I don't know about that. 17 00:01:23,163 --> 00:01:24,460 But, hey, you talked to me! 18 00:01:24,564 --> 00:01:26,589 I was talking to Mommy. 19 00:01:26,967 --> 00:01:28,662 Okay, but just now, you talked to me by saying that. 20 00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:29,861 Why does she have such a problem? 21 00:01:29,936 --> 00:01:30,994 It's just a phase. Don't push it. 22 00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:32,629 PAM: Hey, sweetheart, it hurts Daddy's feelings 23 00:01:32,706 --> 00:01:34,173 when you give him the silent treatment. 24 00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:37,443 I'm ready for school, I'm ready for school! Pick me up, pick me up! 25 00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:38,808 All right. Hey, Henry, 26 00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:40,278 you know you can't bring Arthur to school. 27 00:01:40,347 --> 00:01:41,780 But he's my best friend. 28 00:01:41,848 --> 00:01:43,008 Honey, he's your best lizard friend. 29 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,880 You've got lots of non-lizard friends. 30 00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:46,007 Not really. 31 00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:47,809 Really? 32 00:01:47,888 --> 00:01:48,877 Nope. 33 00:01:49,289 --> 00:01:50,415 Oh. All right, have a good day. I love you. 34 00:01:50,490 --> 00:01:51,582 You're kidding me! 35 00:01:51,658 --> 00:01:53,649 You can't take that to school, monkey. Go put that in your room. 36 00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:55,256 Sam, I will see you. I love you. 37 00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:56,317 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 38 00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:57,590 Sam. Hey. 39 00:01:57,664 --> 00:01:59,154 What? Yeah, oh, golly, okay. See you. 40 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:01,596 Thanks. Love you. 41 00:02:01,868 --> 00:02:02,857 (DOOR BANGS) 42 00:02:08,074 --> 00:02:09,507 There he is! 43 00:02:10,811 --> 00:02:13,644 Hey, Randy. How you doing? 44 00:02:13,713 --> 00:02:14,702 Gregory Focker! 45 00:02:14,781 --> 00:02:15,941 How's it going? 46 00:02:16,082 --> 00:02:17,572 Wonderful to see you. Great to see you. 47 00:02:17,651 --> 00:02:20,119 Listen, I just came by to check out the backyard and measure 48 00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:22,587 'cause we want to do a bouncy castle for the kids' birthday party. 49 00:02:22,689 --> 00:02:24,020 Aw. 50 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:25,819 That's terrific, Gregory. 51 00:02:40,307 --> 00:02:41,569 Okay, you're about five minutes late. 52 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:42,835 Yeah, I know. 53 00:02:42,909 --> 00:02:45,207 A Miss Denslow from the administrative board called. 54 00:02:45,278 --> 00:02:47,212 She wants to get a list of the budget cuts. 55 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,271 You have a meeting in 20 minutes with John Raider 56 00:02:49,349 --> 00:02:53,251 and some drug rep from Pfosten Pharmaceuticals 57 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,117 is waiting in your office. Andi something. 58 00:02:55,188 --> 00:02:56,246 There's a drug rep in there? 59 00:02:56,323 --> 00:02:57,347 Mmm-hmm. 60 00:02:57,424 --> 00:02:58,857 (SIGHS) Okay, look, in three minutes, 61 00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:00,825 pop your head in and tell me I have to go to my next meeting. 62 00:03:00,894 --> 00:03:01,883 Okay. All right? 63 00:03:02,329 --> 00:03:05,787 Sorry, I got to make this really quick. I got a very busy morning. 64 00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:10,067 I understand, Nurse Focker. I'm Andi Garcia. 65 00:03:10,136 --> 00:03:11,125 Oh, hi. 66 00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,596 You have a lot less stubble in person. 67 00:03:16,176 --> 00:03:18,269 I'm... There's an actor named Andy Garcia. 68 00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:19,601 Who? 69 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,545 Widow's peak. Sort of tough guy. 70 00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:26,579 I was just kidding. Of course, I know who Andy Garcia is. 71 00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:27,677 I get that all the time. 72 00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:29,278 Yeah. You must get it all the time 73 00:03:29,356 --> 00:03:30,823 'cause you're named Andi Garcia. 74 00:03:30,891 --> 00:03:33,951 I loved the article you wrote in the AMA Journal, 75 00:03:34,027 --> 00:03:35,517 "Putting Patients First." 76 00:03:35,762 --> 00:03:37,229 You read that? I loved it. 77 00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:41,023 It was so cool getting a nurse's perspective on the health care crisis. 78 00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:42,567 Yeah, that was the idea. 79 00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:44,968 I actually started out as a nurse, myself. 80 00:03:45,171 --> 00:03:47,435 Really? Oh, well, nowadays, I do less nursing and more... 81 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,973 Annoying meetings with drug reps you'd rather not deal with? 82 00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:52,777 Hey, Greg, it's time for your next meeting. 83 00:03:53,046 --> 00:03:54,479 That's okay, I'm fine, Kristen. Thank you. 84 00:03:54,548 --> 00:03:55,742 Yeah, but he doesn't like to wait. 85 00:03:55,815 --> 00:03:57,077 You know how he is, you know. 86 00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:58,445 Well, it's John Raider? 87 00:03:58,518 --> 00:03:59,746 Yeah, he's really picky... 88 00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:01,980 He always runs late. Always runs late. Thanks. 89 00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:04,621 ANDI: You're swamped. No, I'm good. You want to have a seat? 90 00:04:04,925 --> 00:04:05,949 Yeah. Okay. 91 00:04:06,026 --> 00:04:07,357 I'll make this quick. 92 00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:10,692 So we are launching a killer new product at Pfosten 93 00:04:10,764 --> 00:04:15,701 and, while we usually hire doctors to lead our presentations, 94 00:04:15,769 --> 00:04:17,066 I have a feeling about you. 95 00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:21,531 I think you have the potential to be a medical superstar. 96 00:04:22,208 --> 00:04:27,646 And you'd be perfect to represent our new drug, Sustengo. 97 00:04:28,648 --> 00:04:33,551 Ah. Sustengo. All right. It's an erectile dysfunction medicine. 98 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:36,180 It's not just any erectile dysfunction medicine. 99 00:04:36,256 --> 00:04:39,885 It's the first ED pill on the market safe for heart patients. 100 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:44,624 Because, in addition to increasing the penile blood flow... 101 00:04:44,698 --> 00:04:46,131 See that penis? 102 00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:47,962 It acts as a beta blocker 103 00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:51,401 to keep the heart rate down during intercourse. 104 00:04:51,471 --> 00:04:52,836 I mean, how dope is that? 105 00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:53,963 (CHUCKLES) 106 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,234 That's pretty dope. 107 00:04:55,308 --> 00:04:56,798 WOMAN ON PA: Nurse Focker needed in room 220 B, stat. 108 00:04:56,876 --> 00:04:59,140 I'm sorry, hang on one second. 109 00:04:59,212 --> 00:05:01,305 Nurse Focker, room 220 B. 110 00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:02,709 ANDROVSKY: Will you get out of my ass? 111 00:05:02,949 --> 00:05:04,177 If you would stop squirming around... 112 00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,581 But you don't know what you're doing. 113 00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:07,347 It could have been over, sir. Hey, hey, hey, 114 00:05:07,420 --> 00:05:09,285 how you doing there, Mr. Androvsky? Everything okay? 115 00:05:09,356 --> 00:05:10,687 Well, this nurse is a barbarian. 116 00:05:10,757 --> 00:05:11,883 Okay, I'm not a barbarian. 117 00:05:11,958 --> 00:05:13,357 He keeps clenching and I can't make an insertion. 118 00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:14,586 Louis, it's... 119 00:05:14,661 --> 00:05:15,787 It's a natural response to protect that cavity. 120 00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:17,261 You're right, it is a natural response. 121 00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:19,298 I would protect my cavity, too. 122 00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:20,765 And we just got to do it a little bit gentler. 123 00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:22,425 May I suggest something? 124 00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:25,267 Sir, why don't you extend your left leg 125 00:05:25,338 --> 00:05:27,602 and put your right knee right up to your chest. 126 00:05:27,674 --> 00:05:30,302 It'll help relax things down there. 127 00:05:30,377 --> 00:05:31,639 She's right. 128 00:05:31,711 --> 00:05:34,236 You just do that and you just grab the side of the bed there, like that, 129 00:05:34,314 --> 00:05:35,474 and exhale... There you go. 130 00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:37,607 Nurse, did you sufficiently lubricate the nozzle? 131 00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:39,114 I did do that. Great. 132 00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:40,777 Good, good, okay. You got this? 133 00:05:40,854 --> 00:05:42,116 Yep. 134 00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:43,951 GREG: All right. Take a nice deep breath. 135 00:05:44,024 --> 00:05:45,013 (INHALES DEEPLY) 136 00:05:45,725 --> 00:05:50,526 And focus on relaxing your anus. 137 00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:53,657 Right. That's right. You just want to let it dilate, 138 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:56,759 sort of like a flower opening up. 139 00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,469 Blossoming lotus. 140 00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:01,333 Sort of like a desert cactus. 141 00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:02,699 Maturing. 142 00:06:02,776 --> 00:06:03,834 (ANDROVSKY GROANS) It's okay. 143 00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:07,505 Just a little, friendly visitor just saying hello. 144 00:06:08,481 --> 00:06:10,745 All right, I'm just gonna stick it in a little further. 145 00:06:10,817 --> 00:06:11,909 Oh! 146 00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:14,442 Good smooth insertion. 147 00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:15,852 Thank you. 148 00:06:15,922 --> 00:06:19,756 I'm gonna release the clamp. And let it flow. 149 00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:21,492 (SIGHS) Better. 150 00:06:21,995 --> 00:06:23,189 How's that? 151 00:06:23,263 --> 00:06:24,287 That was great. 152 00:06:28,468 --> 00:06:29,992 Nice technique. 153 00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,560 That was so fun. 154 00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:33,772 Yeah, yeah. 155 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,400 I was thinking about it and, honestly, 156 00:06:36,476 --> 00:06:39,240 I just don't have time to moonlight pitching a drug right now. 157 00:06:39,312 --> 00:06:40,540 Shot down. (LAUGHS) 158 00:06:40,747 --> 00:06:42,271 No, it's not you. It's just... 159 00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:44,373 No, I get it, you know. 160 00:06:44,451 --> 00:06:46,851 Running nursing in med-surge is a big job. 161 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,587 Yeah, yeah, so big, 162 00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:50,418 I'm making less than I did when I was in the ER. 163 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:53,050 Look, we are sponsoring a convention at the Hilton. 164 00:06:53,126 --> 00:06:54,150 Mmm-hmm. 165 00:06:54,227 --> 00:06:58,027 You can make tons of dough for, like, one speech. 166 00:06:58,098 --> 00:06:59,087 Think about it. 167 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,795 Okay. I will, I'll think about it. Okay. 168 00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:03,466 Knuckles? 169 00:07:03,536 --> 00:07:04,525 Knuckles. 170 00:07:04,604 --> 00:07:06,731 That was bad-ass, by the way. 171 00:07:06,806 --> 00:07:08,899 Yeah. Literally. 172 00:07:40,006 --> 00:07:41,496 JACK: Dr. Bob. 173 00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,142 Scumbag. 174 00:07:45,678 --> 00:07:48,112 DINA: Jack, my taxi's here. 175 00:07:49,249 --> 00:07:51,183 Oh, honey, I just got off with Deb. 176 00:07:51,251 --> 00:07:53,344 They are officially separated. 177 00:07:53,419 --> 00:07:55,649 Dr. Bob finished moving out. 178 00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:57,349 That lowlife. 179 00:07:57,423 --> 00:07:59,118 Yeah. You can say that again. 180 00:07:59,192 --> 00:08:00,318 You sure you don't want me to come with you? 181 00:08:00,426 --> 00:08:01,757 No, you know, I think Deb needs 182 00:08:01,828 --> 00:08:03,227 a little mother-daughter time, honey. 183 00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,285 All right? 184 00:08:04,564 --> 00:08:05,758 Having an affair with a nurse. 185 00:08:05,832 --> 00:08:07,424 I can't believe I didn't see the warning signs. 186 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,933 He was very discreet. 187 00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:12,403 She didn't even know until she saw those text messages. 188 00:08:12,472 --> 00:08:13,461 Whatever you call them. 189 00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:15,531 Yeah, but I'm trained to detect that sort of behavior, honey, 190 00:08:15,608 --> 00:08:18,042 and the truth is I was so busy putting Focker through the wringer, 191 00:08:18,111 --> 00:08:19,806 Dr. Bob slipped right under my radar. 192 00:08:19,879 --> 00:08:21,540 Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. 193 00:08:21,614 --> 00:08:24,845 Well, I'll never let that happen again. 194 00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:29,449 Are you having one of your little heart palpies again, Jack? 195 00:08:29,522 --> 00:08:31,854 My muscles are a little tight! 196 00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,290 Yeah, yeah. From stress. 197 00:08:33,359 --> 00:08:37,455 I can see that. Okay, will you just, please, just relax, okay? 198 00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:39,828 Everything is gonna be all right. Honest. 199 00:08:39,899 --> 00:08:41,059 (GRUNTS) (TAXI HORN HONKING) 200 00:08:41,134 --> 00:08:43,034 Oh, I got to go. Okay. 201 00:08:43,102 --> 00:08:44,364 I'm gonna miss you. 202 00:08:49,642 --> 00:08:50,939 (PHONE RINGING) 203 00:08:52,612 --> 00:08:53,601 Hey, Mom. 204 00:08:53,746 --> 00:08:56,840 Hello, my precious prince, how are you, darling? 205 00:08:56,916 --> 00:08:58,383 Good. How's the TV show going? 206 00:08:58,618 --> 00:09:01,815 Oh, great. You know what this week's episode is about? 207 00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:05,221 Using the latest sexual toys to spice up your love life. 208 00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,280 Really? Yeah. 209 00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:07,724 As an early Hanukkah present, 210 00:09:07,794 --> 00:09:10,354 I'm gonna send you and Pam a box of these musical condoms. 211 00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:11,854 Don't do that. 212 00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:14,729 You got to hear this, honey. There's a little speaker inside. 213 00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:17,463 And the faster you go, the louder it gets. 214 00:09:17,704 --> 00:09:20,400 You know what? Mom, Pam and I are fine. We don't need musical condoms. 215 00:09:20,773 --> 00:09:23,333 Honey, every couple can use a little stimulation. 216 00:09:23,543 --> 00:09:25,477 Oh, by the way, interesting episode last week. 217 00:09:25,545 --> 00:09:27,206 Which one? "Masturbation Through The Ages"? 218 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,440 I thought we agreed you weren't gonna 219 00:09:28,514 --> 00:09:29,640 talk about me on the air anymore. 220 00:09:29,716 --> 00:09:32,913 Please, it was just a little anecdote about carpal tunnel syndrome 221 00:09:32,986 --> 00:09:34,886 from excessive self-pleasuring. 222 00:09:35,154 --> 00:09:37,054 I have to connect your father now, okay? 223 00:09:37,423 --> 00:09:38,981 We need to tell you something. 224 00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:41,354 (FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING) 225 00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:42,553 (EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH) 226 00:09:43,129 --> 00:09:44,153 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 227 00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:45,219 Ooh. 228 00:09:45,632 --> 00:09:47,429 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 229 00:09:48,501 --> 00:09:50,526 Hi! Gay? Roz? 230 00:09:50,803 --> 00:09:51,827 Hello? Yeah, I'm here. 231 00:09:51,905 --> 00:09:52,963 Gaylord? Dad? 232 00:09:53,039 --> 00:09:54,028 Can you hear me? Where are you? 233 00:09:54,107 --> 00:09:55,904 You won't believe it. I'm in Seville, Spain. 234 00:09:56,109 --> 00:09:57,303 Where... What are you doing in Spain? 235 00:09:58,144 --> 00:09:59,168 I'm studying. 236 00:09:59,245 --> 00:10:01,372 ROZ: Sweetheart, your father decided that 237 00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:03,005 he's not gonna make it to the twins' party. 238 00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:04,071 What? 239 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:05,481 Gay, you remember when your mother's show 240 00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:06,711 hit number one in the ratings 241 00:10:06,786 --> 00:10:08,344 and she signed on for a second year? 242 00:10:08,421 --> 00:10:10,946 I looked in the mirror and I said, "Who am I?" 243 00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:13,020 Then I see this clip on the YouTube 244 00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:15,925 and there is a Spanish guy and he's dancing the flamenco. 245 00:10:16,029 --> 00:10:18,122 And the sweat is pouring off of his face 246 00:10:18,197 --> 00:10:19,960 and there is such passion in his eyes 247 00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,796 and I said, "That's it!" That's what? 248 00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:25,730 That's me. I am flamenco! I will master this art. 249 00:10:25,805 --> 00:10:27,864 Dad, this is crazy. What are you doing? You're in Spain? 250 00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:29,067 You're gonna miss the party? 251 00:10:29,142 --> 00:10:31,667 You picked a hell of a time to go through man-opause. 252 00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:33,541 Roz, I am not going through man-opause, 253 00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:35,342 I'm just trying to find my true north. 254 00:10:35,515 --> 00:10:37,483 True north, huh? What are you, a compass or something? 255 00:10:37,684 --> 00:10:38,673 No, but let's face it. 256 00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:39,911 I'm a stay-at-home dad 257 00:10:39,986 --> 00:10:42,079 whose kid hasn't lived at home in 25 years. 258 00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:44,885 There's an Arthur Murray studio right here in Miami Beach. 259 00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:46,516 Why schlep all the way to Spain? 260 00:10:46,659 --> 00:10:47,819 I can't believe you, Roz. 261 00:10:48,027 --> 00:10:49,426 Why can't you support my dreams 262 00:10:49,495 --> 00:10:50,962 the way I have always supported yours? 263 00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:52,497 Guys, guys... BERNIE: When you wanted to try 264 00:10:52,565 --> 00:10:55,693 new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig! 265 00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:56,891 You volunteered. 266 00:10:56,970 --> 00:10:58,437 BERNIE: I pulled my hamstring... Hey! Hey! 267 00:10:58,504 --> 00:10:59,732 ...doing a reverse cowgirl! 268 00:10:59,872 --> 00:11:01,169 That's because you did it backwards. 269 00:11:01,441 --> 00:11:02,669 I never went soft on you. 270 00:11:02,909 --> 00:11:04,399 ROZ: Bernie, do you hear how you're upsetting your son? 271 00:11:04,477 --> 00:11:06,308 BERNIE: Let me talk. Listen, will you? 272 00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:11,480 That son of a bitch. 273 00:11:26,766 --> 00:11:28,495 Oh, shit. 274 00:11:31,537 --> 00:11:33,334 Oh, shit. 275 00:11:33,973 --> 00:11:35,065 (PURRING) 276 00:11:40,179 --> 00:11:41,806 Hello? OPERATOR: 911, what's your emergency? 277 00:11:41,881 --> 00:11:44,441 Yeah, my name is Jack Byrnes. I live at 28 Cherry Blossom Lane. 278 00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:45,814 I'm going into cardiac arrest. 279 00:11:45,885 --> 00:11:47,716 I need an ambulance right away. 280 00:11:47,787 --> 00:11:49,448 I'm guessing your average response time at this hour 281 00:11:49,522 --> 00:11:51,149 is between 12 and 17 minutes. 282 00:11:51,224 --> 00:11:53,590 I need you to do better than that. Thank you, goodbye. 283 00:12:03,803 --> 00:12:06,328 Stay calm, Mr. Jinx. I'm going to defibrillate myself. 284 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,429 Clear! 285 00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:10,300 (JACK GROANS) 286 00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:13,169 Seriously, though, my dad, he always sounds a little crazy, 287 00:12:13,246 --> 00:12:14,804 but this was like a whole different level. 288 00:12:15,281 --> 00:12:17,215 No, I mean they were really going at it. Really? 289 00:12:17,283 --> 00:12:18,875 She accused him of going through man-opause. 290 00:12:18,951 --> 00:12:19,940 (CHUCKLES) 291 00:12:20,219 --> 00:12:21,208 Is that a real thing? 292 00:12:21,387 --> 00:12:22,911 Your parents have the best marriage of anyone I know. 293 00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:23,978 They will be fine. 294 00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:25,857 Yeah, I guess so. 295 00:12:26,192 --> 00:12:27,181 You were talking about the kids. 296 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,387 Really, their teacher suggested private school? 297 00:12:29,462 --> 00:12:31,862 Yeah, she said she was concerned about them "getting lost" 298 00:12:31,931 --> 00:12:33,455 in the public school system or something. 299 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:35,099 What's the name of this place? 300 00:12:36,235 --> 00:12:37,702 The Early Human School. 301 00:12:38,304 --> 00:12:40,204 I have absolutely heard of that place. 302 00:12:40,706 --> 00:12:42,298 Sounds like a school for Neanderthals. 303 00:12:42,442 --> 00:12:45,639 No, it's actually considered the Harvard of kindergartens. 304 00:12:45,845 --> 00:12:47,472 Mmm. Well, I think Harvard's cheaper. 305 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:48,704 (BEEPING) 306 00:12:48,781 --> 00:12:49,770 I'll go see who that is. 307 00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:53,281 Hey, greetings from the Black Sea. You look terrific. 308 00:12:53,519 --> 00:12:56,147 Hi, stranger, thanks. What are you doing there? 309 00:12:56,222 --> 00:12:59,191 Listen, Pam. Is there any way I could speak to Greg? 310 00:12:59,258 --> 00:13:01,624 I want to get his advice on something, believe it or not. 311 00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:02,718 Sure, absolutely. Hey, Greg? 312 00:13:02,795 --> 00:13:03,819 GREG: Yeah. 313 00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:05,921 Greg, honey, it's your buddy, Kevin. 314 00:13:05,998 --> 00:13:07,226 Hold on. Thank you. 315 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:08,898 Hey. Hey. 316 00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:10,025 How you doing, man? 317 00:13:10,303 --> 00:13:12,134 I was just doing a little sailing 318 00:13:12,205 --> 00:13:14,298 and living the dream, G-Diggity-Dog. 319 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,529 Cheers! Kevin. 320 00:13:15,608 --> 00:13:17,303 Hey. You need a refill on that 321 00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:18,741 goji berry smoothie? 322 00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:21,275 You read my mind. Fill her up, Pak-Man. 323 00:13:21,547 --> 00:13:23,242 Greg, you know Deepak Chopra, right? 324 00:13:23,850 --> 00:13:24,839 I know of him. 325 00:13:25,051 --> 00:13:26,951 Hi, Greg. Hi, Mr. Chopra. 326 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,644 Dr. Chopra. 327 00:13:29,255 --> 00:13:31,086 KEVIN: Get out of here, you rascal. 328 00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:36,321 So, listen, the reason why I'm calling is because next week... 329 00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:38,329 Kevin, who do you Skype with? 330 00:13:38,397 --> 00:13:41,093 I am just talking to my friend, Greg Focker. 331 00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:42,929 Hey. KEVIN: Come here. 332 00:13:46,139 --> 00:13:47,970 Hey, honey, what'd you do with Henry's Lactaid? 333 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,064 (BOTH LAUGHING) 334 00:13:49,142 --> 00:13:50,905 Oh, crap, I forgot. Sorry. 335 00:13:51,177 --> 00:13:52,508 Well, okay. But did you call the face-paint lady? 336 00:13:53,146 --> 00:13:54,738 No, I'm sorry. 337 00:13:54,814 --> 00:13:56,577 I had, like, 97 things to do, so... 338 00:13:56,649 --> 00:13:59,482 Honey, I asked you to do two things, that's all I asked. 339 00:13:59,552 --> 00:14:00,985 I know. Sorry, babe. 340 00:14:02,622 --> 00:14:03,816 (CLEARS THROAT) 341 00:14:05,024 --> 00:14:07,618 Okay, so here's the dealio. 342 00:14:07,693 --> 00:14:10,025 I'm going to propose to Svetlana. 343 00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:13,190 You're gonna propose? That's incredible. 344 00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:16,599 I'm gonna have three Russian MiG fighter jets fly by 345 00:14:16,702 --> 00:14:19,034 and skywrite "Marry me, Svetlana." 346 00:14:19,105 --> 00:14:24,099 And then I'm gonna hide a 50-carat super-tasteful diamond ring 347 00:14:24,177 --> 00:14:26,441 in this tin of extremely rare beluga. 348 00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:29,003 Then we will finish the night 349 00:14:29,081 --> 00:14:31,948 with a special performance that I choreographed 350 00:14:32,051 --> 00:14:35,543 with members of the Bolshoi Ballet, dedicated to our love. 351 00:14:35,621 --> 00:14:36,679 Thoughts? 352 00:14:37,390 --> 00:14:39,415 Honestly, I'm thinking maybe it's a little too involved. 353 00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:40,614 Yeah? 354 00:14:40,693 --> 00:14:42,752 I mean, with Pam, my whole thing was just 355 00:14:42,828 --> 00:14:45,058 keep it simple, speak from the heart. 356 00:14:46,032 --> 00:14:50,969 Keep it simple and speak from the heart. I like it, hombre. 357 00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:54,404 You know what? I'd better call off some Russian MiG fighter jets. 358 00:14:54,473 --> 00:14:57,408 And, hey, by the time I get to Chi-town, 359 00:14:57,476 --> 00:15:00,343 this old dog here could be an engaged man. 360 00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:01,402 (WHOOPS) 361 00:15:01,547 --> 00:15:02,809 Hey, Kevin? Yeah. 362 00:15:02,882 --> 00:15:03,871 The jet skis are ready! 363 00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:04,939 The jet skis are ready? 364 00:15:05,017 --> 00:15:06,678 Well, fire 'em up for me. Okay. 365 00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:08,515 I'll be right there. 366 00:15:08,955 --> 00:15:10,286 Jet-skiing monks. 367 00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:15,020 Wow, I cannot believe that Kevin is finally settling down. 368 00:15:15,094 --> 00:15:16,459 Well, I think he's found a soul mate. 369 00:15:16,529 --> 00:15:17,553 Yeah? 370 00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:19,962 Hey, you're gonna eat some of this. She seemed nice. 371 00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:22,900 Yeah. I am very happy for Kevin. 372 00:15:22,969 --> 00:15:25,096 I love him, especially when he's not obsessed with you. 373 00:15:25,438 --> 00:15:27,099 Oh, come on. You're being ridiculous. 374 00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:29,098 (PHONE RINGING) PAM: Oh, you got it? 375 00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:30,469 Hey, sweetheart, will you please 376 00:15:30,543 --> 00:15:31,703 take a bite of the lasagna, honey? 377 00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:33,836 HENRY: No. Uh-uh. Do you not like it? 378 00:15:34,213 --> 00:15:36,147 Hey, what's the good word, Grandpa Jack? 379 00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:37,571 Yay! 380 00:15:37,717 --> 00:15:38,706 JACK: Greg. 381 00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,010 This is Jack Byrnes. 382 00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:43,144 Yeah, I know. I could tell from the caller ID. 383 00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:44,378 How are you doing? 384 00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:47,654 Greg, excuse yourself from the table by saying these exact words, 385 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,061 "I don't know if I still have it, but let me check my files." 386 00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:53,423 What? If Pam asks you what I want, 387 00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:56,100 tell her that I asked you to locate your birth certificate 388 00:15:56,168 --> 00:15:57,499 for my genealogical work. 389 00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,101 Just do it. 390 00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:04,432 I don't know if I have that, Jack, but let me check my files. 391 00:16:05,111 --> 00:16:06,601 Files? You have files? 392 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:11,046 Yes, yeah, I do. I keep files. 393 00:16:11,117 --> 00:16:12,414 He wants me to get my birth certificate 394 00:16:12,485 --> 00:16:14,350 for that family tree thing he's doing. 395 00:16:15,788 --> 00:16:17,881 Jack? Everything okay? 396 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:21,455 Everything is fine, Greg, I suffered a minor heart attack, 397 00:16:21,527 --> 00:16:23,324 but I was able to defibrillate myself 398 00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:25,159 before going into fatal cardiac arrest. 399 00:16:25,464 --> 00:16:27,557 Jesus! You defibrillated yourself? 400 00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:29,030 The doctor said I was a lucky man 401 00:16:29,101 --> 00:16:30,363 and I've just got to watch my diet 402 00:16:30,436 --> 00:16:31,630 and keep my stress level down. 403 00:16:31,904 --> 00:16:34,532 Wow, okay, so I guess 404 00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:36,598 you guys aren't gonna be able to come to the twins' birthday party. 405 00:16:36,676 --> 00:16:39,042 No, Dina and I will be there as planned, Greg. 406 00:16:39,111 --> 00:16:42,774 And I was able to keep this on a need-to-know basis. 407 00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:45,544 And right now, you're the only person who needs to know. 408 00:16:45,751 --> 00:16:48,743 Well, come on, Jack. I mean, I think Dina needs to know. 409 00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:50,283 Greg, stop talking and listen. 410 00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:51,482 Okay. 411 00:16:51,691 --> 00:16:54,751 Now, my genealogical research has allowed me to track the Byrnes family 412 00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:56,727 as far back as 1643. 413 00:16:57,096 --> 00:16:58,358 1643? 414 00:16:58,798 --> 00:17:01,164 Now, I wouldn't be able to do that, say, to your family, 415 00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,565 what with all the wandering peddlers and nameless peasants. 416 00:17:03,636 --> 00:17:04,660 Mmm-hmm. 417 00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:05,726 But, as long as there have been Byrneses, 418 00:17:05,805 --> 00:17:07,136 there's always been a patriarch 419 00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:09,197 to lead our family through good times and bad. 420 00:17:09,275 --> 00:17:11,140 And I've finally come to the realization 421 00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:14,441 that the next in line to the throne, Greg, 422 00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:15,571 is you. 423 00:17:16,215 --> 00:17:17,204 Me. 424 00:17:19,151 --> 00:17:20,641 Yes, you, Greg. 425 00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:23,115 Well... So my question is this, 426 00:17:23,656 --> 00:17:26,523 in the event of my demise, are you prepared to lead this family? 427 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,053 You know, Jack, we're right in the middle of dinner. 428 00:17:30,129 --> 00:17:32,461 Maybe we could talk about this, you know, when you come into town. 429 00:17:32,932 --> 00:17:35,628 If I go down, Greg, I need to know someone will be responsible 430 00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:37,464 for the whole Byrnes clan. 431 00:17:37,536 --> 00:17:41,097 So I ask you, Greg, are you prepared to be 432 00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:44,198 the Godfocker? 433 00:17:46,445 --> 00:17:48,106 The Godfocker? 434 00:17:48,614 --> 00:17:49,979 The Godfocker. 435 00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:55,314 Well, that is a very powerful turn of phrase, Jack. 436 00:17:55,388 --> 00:18:00,018 And when you say Godfocker, I mean... (CHUCKLES) 437 00:18:00,092 --> 00:18:03,084 I mean, I think I know what you mean, but I'm just... 438 00:18:03,162 --> 00:18:05,790 What exactly does that mean? 439 00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:09,598 It's an attitude, Greg. It's a confidence. 440 00:18:09,668 --> 00:18:10,828 It's the way you carry yourself 441 00:18:10,903 --> 00:18:13,428 that lets the world know that the buck stops with you. 442 00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:17,206 Yeah, I hear you. Mmm-hmm. 443 00:18:17,543 --> 00:18:20,410 None of this can be achieved without the basics. 444 00:18:20,479 --> 00:18:21,741 A secure home for your family, 445 00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:24,742 a top-notch education for your children... 446 00:18:24,884 --> 00:18:25,873 Okay. 447 00:18:25,985 --> 00:18:28,783 ...and last but not least, having your financial house in order, Greg. 448 00:18:28,854 --> 00:18:29,912 Is that it? (LAUGHS) 449 00:18:30,156 --> 00:18:31,453 Are you laughing? 450 00:18:31,524 --> 00:18:33,185 Yeah, no, I'm just... I was making... No. 451 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:34,849 Because this is no laughing matter, Greg. 452 00:18:35,294 --> 00:18:37,489 Good, 'cause I'm not laughing. Okay? 453 00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:40,965 Are you saying you have what it takes to be the Godfocker? 454 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,028 Greg? 455 00:18:45,571 --> 00:18:48,768 Yes, Jack. I have what it takes 456 00:18:50,376 --> 00:18:52,310 to be the Godfocker. 457 00:18:53,913 --> 00:18:56,882 I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 458 00:18:57,650 --> 00:19:00,414 And an equally great weight put onto yours. 459 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,378 I like it. I like the weight. I want it. 460 00:19:05,357 --> 00:19:07,416 All right. Need-to-know. 461 00:19:07,526 --> 00:19:08,857 Need-to-know. Just you and me. 462 00:19:08,928 --> 00:19:09,952 See you in two weeks. 463 00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:11,860 Okay. Bye. 464 00:19:19,572 --> 00:19:21,301 Hey, did you find it? 465 00:19:21,373 --> 00:19:23,034 Find what? 466 00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:25,032 Your birth certificate? 467 00:19:26,145 --> 00:19:27,772 Yes. It was in my files. 468 00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:28,836 Mmm. 469 00:19:29,715 --> 00:19:30,704 You know, I was thinking, maybe we should 470 00:19:30,783 --> 00:19:33,013 take a look at that Early Human School. 471 00:19:33,719 --> 00:19:36,210 Great. I'll make some phone calls and set up a tour. 472 00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:38,350 Good. Good. 473 00:19:40,092 --> 00:19:41,081 Samantha. 474 00:19:45,064 --> 00:19:46,053 Henry. 475 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:48,660 You gonna have your lasagna? 476 00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:50,465 No, thank you. 477 00:19:54,507 --> 00:19:57,840 You know, your mother worked very hard making that lasagna for you. 478 00:19:58,377 --> 00:19:59,935 No. It tastes funny. 479 00:20:00,646 --> 00:20:03,046 He said he was feeling kind of queasy, so... 480 00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:04,671 It's okay. 481 00:20:06,886 --> 00:20:08,183 Henry, 482 00:20:08,254 --> 00:20:12,315 I'm your father and I'm requesting of you to eat the lasagna. 483 00:20:14,593 --> 00:20:15,890 Fine. 484 00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:18,791 Good. 485 00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,227 (PAM GASPS) 486 00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:24,925 (LAUGHING) 487 00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:38,215 Hello. GREG: Hello? 488 00:20:38,284 --> 00:20:40,013 Greg? This is Jack Byrnes. 489 00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:42,053 Jack Byrnes, this is Greg Focker. 490 00:20:42,121 --> 00:20:43,782 I know, Greg. I called you. 491 00:20:44,156 --> 00:20:47,182 Dina and I will be there in approximately 18 seconds. 492 00:20:47,259 --> 00:20:48,658 Eighteen seconds, got it. 493 00:21:02,608 --> 00:21:04,542 Oh, no, that's yours, honey. 494 00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:05,941 Welcome, in-laws! 495 00:21:06,178 --> 00:21:09,011 Oh, Gregor. My goodness. 496 00:21:09,848 --> 00:21:12,715 Dina, Dina Bobina, Banana Fana Fofina. 497 00:21:12,785 --> 00:21:14,616 I'm so happy to see you. 498 00:21:15,254 --> 00:21:16,243 Lovely Dina. 499 00:21:16,555 --> 00:21:17,715 You, too, Gregor. 500 00:21:18,457 --> 00:21:19,481 Hello, Jack. 501 00:21:19,558 --> 00:21:20,582 Greg. 502 00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:27,691 Everything okay, Greg? 503 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,889 Everything's great. 504 00:21:29,168 --> 00:21:30,157 Good. 505 00:21:30,269 --> 00:21:32,362 Unfortunately, renovations on the house, 506 00:21:32,438 --> 00:21:34,269 not quite where I'd like them to be. 507 00:21:34,506 --> 00:21:35,803 Well, those things happen. 508 00:21:36,175 --> 00:21:38,336 They do. I mean, never to me before. 509 00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:47,883 And Sam here has done very, very well with her tae kwon do lessons. 510 00:21:47,953 --> 00:21:48,942 She's a... What are you? A yellow belt now? 511 00:21:49,021 --> 00:21:50,045 Yep. 512 00:21:50,122 --> 00:21:51,146 Yellow belt. 513 00:21:51,223 --> 00:21:52,485 Wow, sweetheart. Very impressive. 514 00:21:52,558 --> 00:21:54,890 She's lethal. She is a ninja. 515 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,052 PAM: Proud of her. 516 00:21:56,128 --> 00:22:00,360 Now, Henry, you're going to drink your milk, aren't you? 517 00:22:00,432 --> 00:22:02,559 You want to hit the same growth spurt as your sister. 518 00:22:02,635 --> 00:22:03,659 DINA: (WHISPERS) Jack. 519 00:22:03,736 --> 00:22:04,998 I'm just saying, you know, it's hard to believe 520 00:22:05,070 --> 00:22:06,196 that they're three minutes apart. 521 00:22:06,271 --> 00:22:07,260 Shh. 522 00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:09,307 Henry, do what your grandpa says. 523 00:22:09,808 --> 00:22:11,139 Aw, man. For real. 524 00:22:12,211 --> 00:22:13,200 Good man. 525 00:22:14,213 --> 00:22:15,942 Okay. Who wants some turkey? 526 00:22:16,015 --> 00:22:17,607 I do, right here! Right here! 527 00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:20,880 Sweetheart, you didn't have to make a whole turkey just for us. 528 00:22:20,953 --> 00:22:21,942 Why not? 529 00:22:22,087 --> 00:22:23,076 Actually, Greg did it. 530 00:22:23,555 --> 00:22:24,544 DINA: Greg. 531 00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:26,453 Well, I remember at last year's Thanksgiving, 532 00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,220 Jack said he liked roast turkey so much 533 00:22:28,293 --> 00:22:30,386 and he couldn't understand why people only had it once a year. 534 00:22:30,562 --> 00:22:32,154 Excellent memory, Greg. 535 00:22:32,264 --> 00:22:35,495 Plus, it's a wonderfully lean meat. Healthy. Good for your heart. 536 00:22:37,069 --> 00:22:38,195 (CHUCKLES) Such a sweetheart. 537 00:22:39,071 --> 00:22:40,470 Grandpa Jack, can I ask you a question? 538 00:22:40,539 --> 00:22:41,870 You surely can. 539 00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,601 How come you're afraid of lizards? 540 00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:47,304 Henry, that's a very good question. And I'll tell you why. 541 00:22:47,379 --> 00:22:50,405 When I was stationed in the Mekong Delta during the Vietnam War, 542 00:22:50,482 --> 00:22:54,077 a tiny gecko crawled into my ear one night and laid its eggs. 543 00:22:54,153 --> 00:22:58,783 And I had to endure the torturous probing of our unit's medic 544 00:22:58,857 --> 00:23:00,950 to remove the lizard larvae from my ear canal 545 00:23:01,026 --> 00:23:03,085 before they hatched into my brain. 546 00:23:03,162 --> 00:23:04,322 Jack. 547 00:23:04,396 --> 00:23:05,385 Cool. 548 00:23:05,898 --> 00:23:06,922 Yuck. 549 00:23:06,999 --> 00:23:08,489 Yes, thanks for sharing that, Dad. 550 00:23:08,634 --> 00:23:13,298 All right, gobble, gobble, everybody! It's turkey time! 551 00:23:13,539 --> 00:23:14,597 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 552 00:23:15,107 --> 00:23:17,439 DINA: That looks good. That's a work of art. 553 00:23:17,543 --> 00:23:18,601 Thank you very much. 554 00:23:18,711 --> 00:23:19,700 Looks great, Greg. 555 00:23:20,145 --> 00:23:22,613 Thank you, Jack. And to carve it, 556 00:23:22,681 --> 00:23:26,173 I thought we might use the beautiful Irish hunting knife 557 00:23:26,251 --> 00:23:28,481 emblazoned with the Byrnes family crest 558 00:23:28,554 --> 00:23:31,114 that Jack so thoughtfully brought back for us 559 00:23:31,190 --> 00:23:33,283 from his ancestral homeland. 560 00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:35,825 Look at that, kids. DINA: Great. 561 00:23:35,894 --> 00:23:37,191 Wow. Look at that. 562 00:23:37,262 --> 00:23:40,231 See that crest? That was used by your ancestors 563 00:23:40,299 --> 00:23:43,530 long time ago, back in the olden days, to identify their family. 564 00:23:44,036 --> 00:23:45,469 Daddy, can I ask you a question? 565 00:23:45,637 --> 00:23:48,470 Absolutely. He loves history. Just soaks it up. 566 00:23:49,308 --> 00:23:51,173 Can a girl poop from her vagina? 567 00:23:54,179 --> 00:23:55,544 No, she cannot. 568 00:23:55,848 --> 00:23:56,906 They're a little young for genealogy. 569 00:23:56,982 --> 00:23:58,006 GREG: Yes. 570 00:23:58,083 --> 00:23:59,710 Just a little off topic there. 571 00:24:00,185 --> 00:24:02,119 Jack. Here you go! 572 00:24:02,321 --> 00:24:05,290 Greg. You're the turkey carver now. 573 00:24:06,525 --> 00:24:07,787 Thank you. I'm honored. 574 00:24:09,695 --> 00:24:12,425 All right. Let's carve the roast beast! 575 00:24:12,498 --> 00:24:13,522 DINA: Mmm. 576 00:24:13,599 --> 00:24:15,157 Let's see. I think I'll start right side. 577 00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:16,724 DINA: Nice and tender. 578 00:24:18,137 --> 00:24:20,765 So, Greg, how are you liking your new job? 579 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,732 Well, I'll tell you, Dina, 580 00:24:23,642 --> 00:24:25,803 it's a lot of responsibility on my plate. 581 00:24:26,178 --> 00:24:28,874 But that's kind of what I love about it. 582 00:24:29,715 --> 00:24:31,979 I mean, the opportunity to manage an entire unit, 583 00:24:32,584 --> 00:24:33,642 in a way, it's kind of like... 584 00:24:33,719 --> 00:24:35,186 (SCREAMS) (YELLS) 585 00:24:35,254 --> 00:24:36,687 Christ! Shit! 586 00:24:38,190 --> 00:24:39,350 (ALL SCREAMING) 587 00:24:41,827 --> 00:24:43,727 Why couldn't you just get him a warm-blooded animal? 588 00:24:43,829 --> 00:24:45,296 Pressure. SAMANTHA: Mom! 589 00:24:45,364 --> 00:24:46,490 (RINGING) 590 00:24:46,565 --> 00:24:47,589 PAM: Honey. It's okay, it's okay, honey. 591 00:24:47,666 --> 00:24:49,497 Hello. PAM: Where is he going? Are you okay? 592 00:24:49,568 --> 00:24:50,762 Hey, Kevin! 593 00:24:50,836 --> 00:24:52,667 It's Kevin, everybody. 594 00:24:52,738 --> 00:24:53,727 What? Okay. 595 00:24:54,740 --> 00:24:55,900 You're in Chicago? 596 00:24:59,378 --> 00:25:00,367 (DOORBELL RINGS) 597 00:25:02,681 --> 00:25:04,581 Hey. Hey. 598 00:25:04,850 --> 00:25:06,784 Hey, everybody. Hello. Kevin. 599 00:25:06,852 --> 00:25:08,183 J.B. 600 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,385 Oh! Good to see you. 601 00:25:11,056 --> 00:25:13,456 There he is! The engaged guy! 602 00:25:13,525 --> 00:25:14,685 How you doing, man? 603 00:25:14,860 --> 00:25:15,918 Oh! What happened to your pointer? 604 00:25:16,028 --> 00:25:19,486 I had a little incident with the business end of a turkey. It's cool. 605 00:25:19,598 --> 00:25:20,724 Where's Svetlana? Yeah! 606 00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:23,700 Or should I say, the future Mrs. Kevin Rawley? 607 00:25:24,636 --> 00:25:26,069 She broke up with me. 608 00:25:26,238 --> 00:25:28,035 No. Oh. 609 00:25:28,173 --> 00:25:29,162 GREG: You're kidding. 610 00:25:29,241 --> 00:25:30,367 I'm so sorry. 611 00:25:30,442 --> 00:25:31,500 Thanks, Pam. 612 00:25:34,313 --> 00:25:36,474 You always know exactly the right thing to say to me. 613 00:25:37,249 --> 00:25:38,238 "I'm so sorry"? 614 00:25:39,017 --> 00:25:41,008 My anchor. 615 00:25:41,486 --> 00:25:42,475 What happened? 616 00:25:42,721 --> 00:25:44,416 What? What happened? 617 00:25:44,990 --> 00:25:47,390 I don't know. I'm still trying to make sense of it myself. 618 00:25:47,459 --> 00:25:49,518 We were having some street food 619 00:25:49,595 --> 00:25:51,586 outside a government building in Bulgaria 620 00:25:52,197 --> 00:25:53,687 and I said, "Hey, you want to get married?" 621 00:25:53,765 --> 00:25:55,665 And I took out a little piece of string 622 00:25:55,734 --> 00:25:57,599 and I tied the twine around her finger, 623 00:25:57,669 --> 00:25:59,796 and she just... She threw it on the ground and said no. 624 00:25:59,972 --> 00:26:01,496 Or nyet, 'cause she's Russian. 625 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,609 She caught the next plane out of there. Adios, Kevin. 626 00:26:05,010 --> 00:26:06,807 Your proposal seems way out of character. 627 00:26:06,879 --> 00:26:08,608 Why did you put so little effort into it? 628 00:26:08,981 --> 00:26:09,970 Greg told me to. 629 00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:12,983 What are you... Kevin, no, no. 630 00:26:13,252 --> 00:26:15,186 What are you talking about? I didn't... HENRY: Daddy? 631 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,514 I can't sleep. 632 00:26:17,155 --> 00:26:18,417 Still in diapers. 633 00:26:18,757 --> 00:26:21,225 No, Jack, they're pull-ups. We're weaning him off diapers. 634 00:26:21,660 --> 00:26:22,649 What's up, man? 635 00:26:22,728 --> 00:26:25,390 I can't stop thinking about all that blood. 636 00:26:25,464 --> 00:26:27,523 Really? All right, well, how about I read you a story? 637 00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:28,998 Uncle Kevin! 638 00:26:29,067 --> 00:26:30,398 How you doing, tiger? 639 00:26:30,469 --> 00:26:32,130 Good. Oh! 640 00:26:32,237 --> 00:26:33,226 Wow. 641 00:26:34,206 --> 00:26:35,366 Are you having a hard time sleeping? 642 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,874 Yeah. Oh. 643 00:26:39,111 --> 00:26:40,100 (CRACKS) 644 00:26:41,647 --> 00:26:43,171 There we go. 645 00:26:43,248 --> 00:26:44,237 Jesus. Henry? 646 00:26:45,017 --> 00:26:46,712 Are you... Shh. He's sleeping. 647 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,247 He's sleeping. I put him in a still-point. 648 00:26:50,656 --> 00:26:52,055 It's a massage technique 649 00:26:52,124 --> 00:26:54,115 that relaxes the body by gently 650 00:26:54,192 --> 00:26:56,422 easing the flow of cerebrospinal fluid. 651 00:26:56,662 --> 00:26:58,129 Yeah. Look at him. 652 00:26:58,196 --> 00:27:00,323 He's gonna wake up feeling so refreshed. 653 00:27:00,732 --> 00:27:03,326 I've been studying a lot of Eastern medicine in my down time. 654 00:27:04,169 --> 00:27:06,364 Well, listen, I just came by to say my hellos, 655 00:27:06,438 --> 00:27:07,928 so I will head on out. 656 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:09,029 Good. Okay. 657 00:27:09,107 --> 00:27:11,166 Hey, Kev, listen, do you need a place to stay? 658 00:27:11,243 --> 00:27:13,473 No, he doesn't. You got a place to stay, right? 659 00:27:13,545 --> 00:27:15,103 And we're pretty full up. Not a problem. 660 00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:17,011 I volunteer at a South Side homeless shelter. 661 00:27:17,082 --> 00:27:18,481 So, I'll probably stay there 662 00:27:18,550 --> 00:27:19,983 and just work the soup kitchen line in the morning. 663 00:27:20,052 --> 00:27:22,145 That is so wonderful, Kevin. 664 00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:24,347 Yeah, it's funny, I feed them food, 665 00:27:24,423 --> 00:27:26,653 but those vagrants and drifters feed my soul, 666 00:27:27,159 --> 00:27:28,820 so it works out pretty good for all of us. 667 00:27:29,461 --> 00:27:31,190 Perfect. We always need extra hands, 668 00:27:31,263 --> 00:27:32,958 if you guys wanna come on down tomorrow... 669 00:27:33,131 --> 00:27:35,531 Actually, Greg and I are taking a tour of this place called 670 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,295 the Early Human School tomorrow. 671 00:27:37,369 --> 00:27:38,495 But maybe after... You're kidding me, 672 00:27:38,603 --> 00:27:39,695 the Early Human School? 673 00:27:40,105 --> 00:27:41,094 Right. 674 00:27:41,173 --> 00:27:42,902 My investment group handles their endowment fund. 675 00:27:42,975 --> 00:27:44,806 In fact, the director, Prudence, 676 00:27:44,876 --> 00:27:46,639 is a dear friend and ex-lover of mine. 677 00:27:47,713 --> 00:27:49,180 I'm gonna put in a good word for you. 678 00:27:49,348 --> 00:27:51,339 That would be great, wouldn't it? 679 00:27:51,583 --> 00:27:52,572 Oh, of course. 680 00:27:52,651 --> 00:27:55,313 Or not. I mean, you know, she's an ex-lover, I think that'd be awkward. 681 00:27:55,454 --> 00:27:58,184 No, nonsense. I'm on great terms with all my ex-lovers. 682 00:27:59,224 --> 00:28:01,021 Thanks. Sure. 683 00:28:01,893 --> 00:28:05,420 Okay. All right, well, you know, whatever feels right. 684 00:28:05,497 --> 00:28:08,295 After the tour, Greg, I was hoping you'd show us your new house. 685 00:28:08,367 --> 00:28:09,664 And, Kevin, when you're done feeding the bums, 686 00:28:09,735 --> 00:28:10,997 why don't you meet us there? 687 00:28:11,069 --> 00:28:12,661 Okay. I'll be there. 688 00:28:12,738 --> 00:28:14,672 You know what, Jack? I still have some items on the punch list 689 00:28:14,740 --> 00:28:15,764 to go through with the contractors, 690 00:28:15,841 --> 00:28:17,604 so I'm thinking maybe we should put it off for a few days. 691 00:28:17,709 --> 00:28:19,540 Ah, no, let's do it tomorrow. Well, I think... 692 00:28:19,611 --> 00:28:20,942 We'll meet you there at noon, Kevin. I don't know. 693 00:28:21,013 --> 00:28:22,571 At noon? Yeah, all right. Okay. 694 00:28:22,647 --> 00:28:24,239 And we're gonna get you through this. 695 00:28:24,316 --> 00:28:26,511 Anything you need, you come to me. 696 00:28:26,585 --> 00:28:27,745 Okay. Thanks, J.B. 697 00:28:27,819 --> 00:28:29,218 Yeah. Or me. 698 00:28:31,757 --> 00:28:32,815 Okay. 699 00:28:32,891 --> 00:28:34,722 Well, you can come to either of us. 700 00:28:34,793 --> 00:28:35,987 Yeah, we're here for you. 701 00:28:36,061 --> 00:28:37,221 Thanks. 702 00:28:38,296 --> 00:28:39,320 Careful, yeah. 703 00:28:43,702 --> 00:28:45,067 PAM: I feel like crap. GREG: Yeah. 704 00:28:45,370 --> 00:28:46,359 You're burning up. 705 00:28:46,438 --> 00:28:49,373 Yeah, I must have gotten the flu the kids had last week. 706 00:28:49,441 --> 00:28:50,499 Oh, my God, the school tour is today. 707 00:28:50,575 --> 00:28:51,564 Yeah, I know. 708 00:28:51,643 --> 00:28:52,905 Honey, what am I gonna do? 709 00:28:52,978 --> 00:28:54,206 I'll do it. Okay? I'll handle it. 710 00:28:54,279 --> 00:28:55,268 Yeah? Yeah, and your mom 711 00:28:55,347 --> 00:28:56,439 can take the kids to school. 712 00:28:56,515 --> 00:28:57,982 But what about my dad? 713 00:28:58,183 --> 00:28:59,673 I got it, all right? 714 00:29:03,422 --> 00:29:06,255 I really appreciate your including me on the school tour, Greg. 715 00:29:06,324 --> 00:29:09,316 Oh, Jack, you are a trusted advisor. 716 00:29:09,694 --> 00:29:13,221 I mean, your words hit home about a top-notch education, 717 00:29:13,298 --> 00:29:14,595 getting your financial house in order. 718 00:29:14,699 --> 00:29:15,996 That's it. That's it. 719 00:29:16,068 --> 00:29:17,296 It's all about the kids, right? 720 00:29:17,369 --> 00:29:18,597 The next generation. 721 00:29:18,670 --> 00:29:19,864 I'm glad to hear you say that. 722 00:29:20,172 --> 00:29:21,696 Makes me feel that I've chosen wisely. 723 00:29:22,774 --> 00:29:24,708 Of course, children change everything in a marriage, 724 00:29:24,776 --> 00:29:26,334 and that was the issue with Debbie and Bob. 725 00:29:26,411 --> 00:29:29,073 They stopped finding time for each other once LJ came into their lives, 726 00:29:29,147 --> 00:29:31,445 so Bob sought sexual fulfillment outside the marriage. 727 00:29:31,516 --> 00:29:32,505 Mmm. 728 00:29:32,684 --> 00:29:34,584 Dr. Bob. Dr. Bob. 729 00:29:34,686 --> 00:29:36,119 He really disappointed me. 730 00:29:36,688 --> 00:29:40,351 I'll tell you something. I'd like to really teach that bastard a lesson. 731 00:29:41,159 --> 00:29:42,649 I happen to have his new address. 732 00:29:42,794 --> 00:29:44,352 Perhaps you and I should sneak in there one night 733 00:29:44,429 --> 00:29:46,727 and plant a tiny explosive device in the stove. 734 00:29:46,798 --> 00:29:48,663 Make it look like a gas leak. 735 00:29:51,636 --> 00:29:52,967 Yeah. Yeah. 736 00:29:53,171 --> 00:29:55,105 Or we could, you know, maybe 737 00:29:55,173 --> 00:29:58,472 find some less criminal way of teaching him a lesson. 738 00:29:58,543 --> 00:30:00,636 You know, still get him. 739 00:30:01,246 --> 00:30:02,440 I'm only joking, Greg. 740 00:30:02,514 --> 00:30:03,776 (CHUCKLING) Okay. 741 00:30:04,683 --> 00:30:05,672 But it would be fun. 742 00:30:05,750 --> 00:30:06,739 Yeah, oh, it would be great. 743 00:30:07,285 --> 00:30:10,277 I'm hoping that you and Pam are still finding time for each other. 744 00:30:11,189 --> 00:30:12,247 Oh, yeah. 745 00:30:12,324 --> 00:30:14,155 Yeah, are you kidding? Yeah, no, no, we're great, we're... 746 00:30:14,259 --> 00:30:15,248 Good. 747 00:30:15,327 --> 00:30:16,589 I mean, you know, it's not easy. 748 00:30:16,661 --> 00:30:17,821 You got to work at it, but... 749 00:30:18,296 --> 00:30:20,161 Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg? 750 00:30:20,532 --> 00:30:25,367 To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that. 751 00:30:25,837 --> 00:30:29,273 Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins? 752 00:30:29,608 --> 00:30:34,841 Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood. 753 00:30:37,048 --> 00:30:38,515 That's disgusting. 754 00:30:40,552 --> 00:30:41,849 (CHILDREN CHATTERING) 755 00:30:44,623 --> 00:30:46,090 (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) 756 00:30:48,460 --> 00:30:50,189 Welcome, parents. 757 00:30:51,196 --> 00:30:54,529 I'm Prudence Simmons, director of the Early Human School. 758 00:30:55,767 --> 00:30:59,259 And at E.H.S., we know. 759 00:31:00,438 --> 00:31:04,534 We know that no two early humans are alike. 760 00:31:05,177 --> 00:31:09,170 So why should their educational experiences be identical? Right? 761 00:31:09,915 --> 00:31:11,177 Makes sense. 762 00:31:11,583 --> 00:31:15,212 It's not about the 99.8 % of graduates 763 00:31:15,287 --> 00:31:16,914 that go on to the best secondary schools. 764 00:31:17,689 --> 00:31:18,986 Wow, impressive. 765 00:31:19,057 --> 00:31:20,046 Yeah. 766 00:31:22,561 --> 00:31:24,654 That guy's really been hitting the Bowflex, huh? 767 00:31:24,729 --> 00:31:25,718 What? 768 00:31:25,897 --> 00:31:28,627 It's not the overwhelming number of Early Human alumni 769 00:31:28,967 --> 00:31:33,961 that become civic leaders, CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. No. 770 00:31:34,539 --> 00:31:38,908 What's important to us is that they become themselves. 771 00:31:39,110 --> 00:31:42,443 PRUDENCE: Please welcome the Early Human Tumblers! 772 00:31:47,752 --> 00:31:48,741 Whoo! 773 00:31:49,988 --> 00:31:51,285 Kids are really good. 774 00:31:51,356 --> 00:31:53,153 I like what I'm seeing from this place. 775 00:31:53,225 --> 00:31:55,022 Yeah. And I'm sure it doesn't come cheap. 776 00:31:55,527 --> 00:31:56,619 Mmm-mmm. 777 00:31:57,062 --> 00:31:58,188 You think you can swing it? 778 00:31:58,263 --> 00:31:59,252 Mmm-hmm. 779 00:31:59,698 --> 00:32:02,030 Yeah. Yeah, I got it covered. 780 00:32:02,534 --> 00:32:04,263 And, you know, 781 00:32:04,336 --> 00:32:06,236 if it's not covered right now, it will be covered. 782 00:32:06,538 --> 00:32:09,063 It's one of those things that you cover it. 783 00:32:09,140 --> 00:32:10,334 Do you have the money or not, Greg? 784 00:32:10,408 --> 00:32:11,739 New friends, hello! 785 00:32:11,810 --> 00:32:12,902 Hi. 786 00:32:12,978 --> 00:32:14,002 Hi, I'm Prudence. Greg? 787 00:32:14,079 --> 00:32:15,068 Greg. How are you? 788 00:32:15,146 --> 00:32:16,340 Jack? Jack Byrnes. 789 00:32:16,414 --> 00:32:19,781 So, Jack and Greg, tell me what path you've chosen. 790 00:32:22,087 --> 00:32:23,714 How do you make a "living"? 791 00:32:23,888 --> 00:32:26,152 Oh, okay, well, I'm a nurse. 792 00:32:26,524 --> 00:32:27,548 Oh. 793 00:32:28,059 --> 00:32:29,048 He's being modest. 794 00:32:29,127 --> 00:32:31,823 He's actually the department manager of the medical-surgical unit 795 00:32:31,896 --> 00:32:35,627 at Chicago Memorial and I am a retired florist. 796 00:32:35,967 --> 00:32:38,299 What a combination, a nurse and a florist? 797 00:32:38,703 --> 00:32:40,068 How great. 798 00:32:40,138 --> 00:32:42,106 May I ask how long you've been in each other's lives? 799 00:32:42,607 --> 00:32:44,472 Oh, I'd say... Well, it's about eight years, hasn't it been? 800 00:32:44,542 --> 00:32:45,770 Yeah, eight years. 801 00:32:46,011 --> 00:32:47,239 I'd say eight years. Really? 802 00:32:47,312 --> 00:32:48,438 Yeah, yeah. Eight great years. Yeah. 803 00:32:48,513 --> 00:32:49,775 Eight great years. 804 00:32:49,848 --> 00:32:51,509 Well, it started out a little rocky. 805 00:32:51,683 --> 00:32:53,048 We've had our moments. 806 00:32:53,118 --> 00:32:54,676 Yes, but then we figured it out. 807 00:32:55,287 --> 00:32:56,914 You seem like a wonderful couple. 808 00:32:58,623 --> 00:33:00,352 No, no, no. We're not homosexuals. Yeah, no. 809 00:33:00,425 --> 00:33:02,188 No, no. No, no, no, no, this is my son-in-law. 810 00:33:03,295 --> 00:33:04,489 Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no. 811 00:33:05,030 --> 00:33:09,057 However, if you're looking to fill a quota, we can be flexible. 812 00:33:09,934 --> 00:33:12,562 Okay, that's an interesting joke, 813 00:33:12,637 --> 00:33:15,572 but I appreciate levity in a moment of misunderstanding, 814 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,039 so thank you, Greg. 815 00:33:17,542 --> 00:33:18,736 I will say, Jack, I hope I didn't offend you. 816 00:33:18,810 --> 00:33:20,004 Oh. No, no. 817 00:33:20,078 --> 00:33:21,067 Really? 818 00:33:21,146 --> 00:33:24,240 No. I mean, I'm not gay myself, but if I were gay, 819 00:33:24,316 --> 00:33:28,150 I would certainly be proud to choose a life partner like Gay Focker. 820 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,249 And that's his actual name. 821 00:33:30,922 --> 00:33:31,911 Oh. 822 00:33:32,590 --> 00:33:36,117 It is. Well, it's my, Gaylord was my name when I was a kid and, yeah. 823 00:33:36,394 --> 00:33:38,919 Well, I'll complete the conversation with that. 824 00:33:38,997 --> 00:33:40,021 Jack. 825 00:33:40,165 --> 00:33:41,496 Prudence. Pleasure. 826 00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:43,965 Gay. Great. Greg. 827 00:33:44,536 --> 00:33:45,833 Change that nametag. 828 00:33:45,970 --> 00:33:47,665 You can call... It's Greg. Greg is fine. 829 00:33:47,739 --> 00:33:49,400 Why don't we just stick with the truth? 830 00:33:58,350 --> 00:34:01,376 An original American Foursquare, Greg, very nice. 831 00:34:01,453 --> 00:34:05,321 Yeah, yeah. It's got rock-solid bones and, you know, it's... 832 00:34:05,390 --> 00:34:06,789 (CAR HORN HONKING) 833 00:34:12,430 --> 00:34:14,421 Hey! There they are. 834 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,334 Kev-O, that's quite a rental. KEVIN: Yeah. 835 00:34:17,402 --> 00:34:19,199 Gustavo, my assistant, hooked it up. 836 00:34:19,270 --> 00:34:21,204 I guess it's a Tesla Roadster or something. 837 00:34:21,740 --> 00:34:25,005 Supposedly eco-friendly, like that 2003 Prius, Greg. 838 00:34:25,076 --> 00:34:26,202 Yeah, you got it. 839 00:34:26,277 --> 00:34:27,835 Wow. It looks great. 840 00:34:28,179 --> 00:34:29,840 Traditional American Foursquare. 841 00:34:29,914 --> 00:34:31,541 Also known as a Prairie Box. 842 00:34:31,850 --> 00:34:33,317 KEVIN: Yeah. GREG: It's got really good bones. 843 00:34:33,418 --> 00:34:35,079 Good eye, Kev. 844 00:34:35,553 --> 00:34:36,611 (MEN LAUGHING) 845 00:34:36,688 --> 00:34:38,019 MAN: Look out for your legs. 846 00:34:39,491 --> 00:34:40,515 RANDY: That's good. 847 00:34:40,592 --> 00:34:41,581 Randy? Randy, what is this? 848 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,628 Gregory Focker! 849 00:34:45,029 --> 00:34:46,326 Great to see you. How you doing, Dad? 850 00:34:46,398 --> 00:34:47,422 GREG: Hey. 851 00:34:47,499 --> 00:34:49,797 Randy, what is this? We're having the party here in two days. 852 00:34:50,068 --> 00:34:51,330 RANDY: Um... 853 00:34:51,403 --> 00:34:52,836 Refresh my memory, Gregory. 854 00:34:53,338 --> 00:34:55,863 Are you kidding me? Randy, the twins' birthday party, remember? 855 00:34:56,141 --> 00:34:57,165 Yes, of course! 856 00:34:57,842 --> 00:34:58,831 The issue we're dealing with is 857 00:34:58,910 --> 00:35:03,279 that we had to excavate 60 feet of root-infested pipe back here! 858 00:35:03,348 --> 00:35:05,145 So, of course, we ran into some unexpected costs 859 00:35:05,216 --> 00:35:06,843 along with an obvious delay. 860 00:35:06,918 --> 00:35:09,409 Randy, is this yard gonna be done or is it not gonna be done? 861 00:35:09,487 --> 00:35:10,920 Jack, I got this. All right? 862 00:35:11,089 --> 00:35:14,388 KEVIN: All Mr. Byrnes is suggesting is that maybe inadvertently 863 00:35:14,659 --> 00:35:17,526 you're taking advantage of a gentle, trusting soul 864 00:35:17,595 --> 00:35:20,530 who clearly is an amateur when it comes to home construction. 865 00:35:20,598 --> 00:35:22,498 No, Kevin. Thank you, Swami Salami. 866 00:35:22,567 --> 00:35:23,898 That's not true at all. 867 00:35:23,968 --> 00:35:25,299 It is true, Greg. They're ripping you off. 868 00:35:25,370 --> 00:35:27,167 No, Jack... Your plumbing excavators 869 00:35:27,305 --> 00:35:29,273 have been on coffee break for the past eight minutes, 870 00:35:29,340 --> 00:35:32,332 this senior citizen over here is unfit for active duty 871 00:35:32,410 --> 00:35:34,810 and your backhoe driver's halfway through a Sudoku puzzle. 872 00:35:34,946 --> 00:35:35,935 All right. Gregory, 873 00:35:36,014 --> 00:35:38,847 who is this joker questioning my honor? 874 00:35:38,917 --> 00:35:40,680 Nobody's questioning your honor, Randy. 875 00:35:40,752 --> 00:35:42,549 I'm 34 years in the trade! 876 00:35:42,620 --> 00:35:43,814 Thirty-four years, huh? 877 00:35:43,888 --> 00:35:47,756 I got to pump, dump and hump to get that backyard whole again! 878 00:35:47,826 --> 00:35:50,818 Well, I got news for you. You can pump, dump and hump all you want! 879 00:35:50,895 --> 00:35:52,385 You're sandbagging this damn job and you know it. 880 00:35:52,464 --> 00:35:53,488 All right. You know what? Jack, Jack, Jack! 881 00:35:53,565 --> 00:35:55,499 Calm down! (YELLS) You're leaving a big hole, you... 882 00:35:55,567 --> 00:35:58,593 Hey, General! The Japanese surrendered! 883 00:35:58,670 --> 00:36:00,035 The Japanese surrendered! That's it! 884 00:36:00,171 --> 00:36:01,502 What are you talking about? 885 00:36:02,273 --> 00:36:03,331 World War Il. 886 00:36:03,775 --> 00:36:06,039 I'll tell you what, Gregor. I have a timeshare in town. 887 00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:07,338 Why don't we have the party there? 888 00:36:07,412 --> 00:36:09,107 Beautiful meadow. It'll be perfect. 889 00:36:09,180 --> 00:36:10,977 No, no, Kevin, I promised the kids 890 00:36:11,049 --> 00:36:12,778 they're gonna have the party in the yard. 891 00:36:12,851 --> 00:36:16,287 So, guess what? We're gonna have the party in the yard. Okay? 892 00:36:16,354 --> 00:36:18,413 Soon as our dump truck driver's back from lunch, 893 00:36:18,490 --> 00:36:20,185 we'll get that out, bring the backhoe in, 894 00:36:20,258 --> 00:36:21,885 lay down your base layer of sand. 895 00:36:22,327 --> 00:36:24,625 Wait a minute. You're telling us that you can't move that rig? 896 00:36:24,863 --> 00:36:26,387 That's a union job, pops. 897 00:36:26,464 --> 00:36:28,261 Screw it. I'm gonna move that truck myself. 898 00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:29,322 RANDY: No, come on. No, you know what, Jack? 899 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,731 I'll do it, okay? You just help me 900 00:36:30,802 --> 00:36:32,360 back it out into the street. I got it. 901 00:36:33,671 --> 00:36:34,660 Here we go. 902 00:36:34,906 --> 00:36:36,965 All right, start backing her up. You're all clear. 903 00:36:42,981 --> 00:36:44,141 Coming at you, Jack! 904 00:36:44,349 --> 00:36:46,078 You're doing great, you're doing great. 905 00:36:46,384 --> 00:36:49,547 Hey, look, I'm not in the union, Randy! I'm backing up the truck! 906 00:36:49,821 --> 00:36:53,313 Come on. Back, back, back. Doing great. Doing great! Doing great! 907 00:36:53,725 --> 00:36:55,158 Whoa! Whoa! 908 00:36:56,194 --> 00:36:57,388 Brake it! 909 00:36:57,862 --> 00:36:58,886 Oh! 910 00:36:58,963 --> 00:37:00,487 You got it! 911 00:37:01,366 --> 00:37:02,731 We're good. RANDY: Emergency brake! 912 00:37:03,034 --> 00:37:04,023 Got it! 913 00:37:05,236 --> 00:37:06,260 (SCREAMING) 914 00:37:09,107 --> 00:37:12,042 Jack! Holy shit! 915 00:37:12,110 --> 00:37:13,407 Hang on, I'm with you! 916 00:37:13,578 --> 00:37:15,409 Jack, I'm right here. Jack, we're gonna get you! 917 00:37:16,214 --> 00:37:17,545 It's gonna be all right, Jack! 918 00:37:17,882 --> 00:37:20,009 Jack, we're coming! Hang on, Jack! 919 00:37:20,218 --> 00:37:21,207 I got him! 920 00:37:21,286 --> 00:37:22,275 I got you. 921 00:37:22,620 --> 00:37:25,248 It's Kevin. I'm right here. (JACK COUGHS) 922 00:37:26,491 --> 00:37:28,220 Thank you, Kevin. Save your strength. 923 00:37:28,293 --> 00:37:31,387 Upsy-daisy. Greg's right here. He's okay. 924 00:37:32,263 --> 00:37:33,389 Yeah, I see him. 925 00:37:34,766 --> 00:37:35,926 Hey, Jack. 926 00:37:36,968 --> 00:37:38,196 Oh, here, it's starting. 927 00:37:38,269 --> 00:37:43,104 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, it's The Roz Focker Show! 928 00:37:43,174 --> 00:37:44,402 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 929 00:37:44,475 --> 00:37:49,174 And that means it's time to sexpress yourself! 930 00:37:50,348 --> 00:37:51,645 Hello, my audience! 931 00:37:51,749 --> 00:37:53,478 Hello, my friends. Welcome. 932 00:37:54,152 --> 00:37:56,279 Today, what do you think we're going to talk about? 933 00:37:56,487 --> 00:37:58,478 MAN: Sex! Sex. Sex. 934 00:37:58,556 --> 00:37:59,921 Well, what else is she gonna talk about? 935 00:38:00,491 --> 00:38:02,186 Sex after children. 936 00:38:02,727 --> 00:38:04,319 How do you find time to make love 937 00:38:04,395 --> 00:38:05,919 with young children in the house? 938 00:38:06,631 --> 00:38:08,656 What do you do if it's not working? 939 00:38:08,933 --> 00:38:09,922 Do you have an affair? 940 00:38:10,201 --> 00:38:11,463 ALL: No! 941 00:38:11,836 --> 00:38:15,169 No, you say? But Roz Focker says yes! 942 00:38:15,607 --> 00:38:17,768 Yes, you do have an affair! 943 00:38:18,009 --> 00:38:21,410 You have an affair with your wife! 944 00:38:21,980 --> 00:38:23,174 Oh, Roz! 945 00:38:23,247 --> 00:38:24,646 ROZ: Think about it, right? 946 00:38:24,716 --> 00:38:28,152 You dress up a little nicer. You meet at a hotel. 947 00:38:28,419 --> 00:38:29,681 You role play. 948 00:38:30,088 --> 00:38:35,890 There is absolutely no shame in playing out a fantasy, but with each other! 949 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:37,359 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 950 00:38:37,428 --> 00:38:38,554 All right? 951 00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:42,294 Now, he's gonna kill me, (GIGGLES) 952 00:38:43,167 --> 00:38:48,195 but my own son, who is the father of two adorable twins, 953 00:38:49,340 --> 00:38:50,671 he has issues in this department. 954 00:38:51,809 --> 00:38:54,573 He's busy at work. She's busy at home. 955 00:38:54,679 --> 00:38:57,477 Their intimacy numbers are down. They're not connecting. 956 00:38:58,816 --> 00:39:00,147 And what do you do? 957 00:39:00,451 --> 00:39:02,942 It's called Sustengo. Sustengo? 958 00:39:03,021 --> 00:39:05,012 I got to say, that sounds pretty cheesy, Greg. 959 00:39:05,089 --> 00:39:08,320 Yeah, well, I'm looking at these Randy Weir bills, okay. 960 00:39:08,393 --> 00:39:09,553 And we could definitely use the money. 961 00:39:09,727 --> 00:39:11,490 And do me a favor. Don't tell your dad about this, okay? 962 00:39:11,562 --> 00:39:12,859 My dad? Why? 963 00:39:12,930 --> 00:39:14,625 Just 'cause he's been all into 964 00:39:14,799 --> 00:39:17,563 me having my financial house in order or whatever, 965 00:39:17,635 --> 00:39:19,296 and I just don't want to worry him. All right, fine. 966 00:39:19,637 --> 00:39:21,366 I won't say anything because he's already pretty upset 967 00:39:21,439 --> 00:39:23,464 about you trying to bury him alive. (LAUGHS) 968 00:39:23,708 --> 00:39:24,834 Honey, it was an accident. 969 00:39:25,076 --> 00:39:26,100 Superstar! 970 00:39:26,411 --> 00:39:27,605 Hey. Hey, can you hang on a second? 971 00:39:27,679 --> 00:39:28,668 Okay. 972 00:39:28,946 --> 00:39:30,846 I am so stoked you changed your mind. 973 00:39:31,082 --> 00:39:34,051 You are going to rock those urologists tonight. 974 00:39:34,118 --> 00:39:35,676 Awesome. That's always been a goal of mine. 975 00:39:35,987 --> 00:39:38,046 So, I'll see you at 8:00 at the Hilton? 976 00:39:38,122 --> 00:39:39,111 Yes. 977 00:39:39,190 --> 00:39:41,158 And wear a suit. Wear a suit, got it. 978 00:39:41,225 --> 00:39:42,749 Knuckles? Knuckles. 979 00:39:42,927 --> 00:39:43,916 Okay, bye. 980 00:39:44,762 --> 00:39:45,854 Hey. Hello. 981 00:39:45,930 --> 00:39:47,420 Knuckles? Who was that? 982 00:39:47,498 --> 00:39:49,159 That certainly didn't sound like Kristen. 983 00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:51,426 No, no. That was the drug rep. 984 00:39:51,736 --> 00:39:53,636 Andi? Yeah, Andi. 985 00:39:54,138 --> 00:39:55,127 What does she look like? 986 00:39:55,540 --> 00:39:57,667 She's like a... No, she's, like, an ex-nurse. 987 00:39:57,742 --> 00:39:58,936 You wouldn't pick her out of a lineup. 988 00:39:59,143 --> 00:40:00,371 Yeah, I know that you're doing this for us, 989 00:40:00,445 --> 00:40:03,175 but the idea of you and some woman named Andi 990 00:40:03,247 --> 00:40:06,341 selling boner medicine at a hotel, it really kind of icks me out. 991 00:40:06,818 --> 00:40:08,683 Honey, there's nothing to be icked out about. 992 00:40:08,753 --> 00:40:10,380 Okay, fine. 993 00:40:10,621 --> 00:40:12,589 I love you. I love you, too, honey. Bye. 994 00:40:12,657 --> 00:40:13,851 Okay, bye. 995 00:40:15,493 --> 00:40:17,393 (MIMICKING GUNSHOTS) 996 00:40:20,331 --> 00:40:21,958 So, how come you're not talking to Daddy? 997 00:40:22,166 --> 00:40:23,599 'Cause he said you were cuckoo. 998 00:40:24,402 --> 00:40:25,460 He said I was cuckoo? 999 00:40:25,803 --> 00:40:26,792 Mmm-hmm. 1000 00:40:27,205 --> 00:40:28,866 Well, we'll have to discuss that. 1001 00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:30,329 Yeah. 1002 00:40:30,875 --> 00:40:32,035 But what about Mommy and Daddy? 1003 00:40:32,110 --> 00:40:33,338 Is everything okay with them? 1004 00:40:34,479 --> 00:40:36,242 I guess they fight sometimes. 1005 00:40:36,314 --> 00:40:38,475 Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about? 1006 00:40:38,850 --> 00:40:39,874 Um... 1007 00:40:39,951 --> 00:40:44,047 Like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi. 1008 00:40:44,122 --> 00:40:45,111 Andi? 1009 00:40:45,389 --> 00:40:46,447 (CHUCKLES) 1010 00:40:47,658 --> 00:40:48,682 Who's Andi? 1011 00:40:48,793 --> 00:40:51,728 I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying. 1012 00:40:51,963 --> 00:40:54,955 Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying 1013 00:40:55,032 --> 00:40:57,466 as long as you suspect foul play. 1014 00:40:58,536 --> 00:40:59,935 So, who's Andi? 1015 00:41:00,271 --> 00:41:02,705 Andi gives Daddy his boners. 1016 00:41:04,375 --> 00:41:05,603 His what? 1017 00:41:06,043 --> 00:41:08,978 Andi gives Daddy his boners. 1018 00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:10,569 Uh-huh. 1019 00:41:12,717 --> 00:41:13,809 Hey, guys! 1020 00:41:13,918 --> 00:41:15,249 DINA: Hey, Greg. How was your day? 1021 00:41:15,319 --> 00:41:16,911 HENRY: Yeah. Great. 1022 00:41:18,389 --> 00:41:19,378 Hey. 1023 00:41:19,724 --> 00:41:20,713 How about you, Sam? 1024 00:41:20,825 --> 00:41:21,917 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 1025 00:41:21,993 --> 00:41:23,756 What? Come on, say something to me. 1026 00:41:23,828 --> 00:41:25,022 No! I won't! 1027 00:41:25,096 --> 00:41:27,064 Ah! You just did. 1028 00:41:28,933 --> 00:41:30,264 Hey, Greg? Yeah. 1029 00:41:30,501 --> 00:41:31,866 I'm not so sure 1030 00:41:31,936 --> 00:41:34,268 using chicanery and subterfuge on your daughter 1031 00:41:34,338 --> 00:41:36,431 is the best way to get her to communicate with you. 1032 00:41:36,541 --> 00:41:38,736 No, no, no. That's not chicanery and subterfuge. 1033 00:41:38,943 --> 00:41:40,433 For whatever it's worth. 1034 00:41:41,479 --> 00:41:42,605 Worth a lot. Thank you. 1035 00:41:42,780 --> 00:41:44,645 And I will see you later, okay? 1036 00:41:44,715 --> 00:41:47,809 I got roped into this hospital administration dinner thing tonight, so... 1037 00:41:48,152 --> 00:41:49,414 Work function? Yeah. 1038 00:41:49,554 --> 00:41:52,648 It's the price of being in charge of the unit, so... 1039 00:41:53,257 --> 00:41:54,724 I see. That last minute, huh? 1040 00:41:54,792 --> 00:41:55,816 Yeah. 1041 00:41:55,893 --> 00:41:58,953 Department head called so I gotta do a little face time and... 1042 00:41:59,330 --> 00:42:00,592 Have fun. Okay. 1043 00:42:01,732 --> 00:42:02,892 (VIBRATING) 1044 00:42:08,940 --> 00:42:09,929 Hmm. 1045 00:42:31,963 --> 00:42:32,952 (GRUNTS) 1046 00:42:34,398 --> 00:42:35,387 Jack? 1047 00:42:35,867 --> 00:42:36,856 Jack! 1048 00:42:37,635 --> 00:42:38,624 Is that you? 1049 00:42:39,036 --> 00:42:40,469 Greg. What are you doing out here? 1050 00:42:40,705 --> 00:42:42,969 Just picking up some milk for the morning. 1051 00:42:43,307 --> 00:42:44,797 You looking for a market? Yeah. 1052 00:42:45,109 --> 00:42:46,667 Okay, 'cause there's one right across from the house. 1053 00:42:46,844 --> 00:42:48,334 Oh, is there? I didn't know that. 1054 00:42:48,412 --> 00:42:50,073 Just take a left on Lincoln. Right there. 1055 00:42:50,248 --> 00:42:51,374 Thanks, Greg. Okay. 1056 00:42:51,449 --> 00:42:52,609 See you later. Okay. 1057 00:43:41,632 --> 00:43:42,621 Excuse me. 1058 00:43:46,304 --> 00:43:47,293 Hey! 1059 00:43:48,539 --> 00:43:49,699 (LAUGHS) 1060 00:43:50,608 --> 00:43:51,597 Greg. 1061 00:43:51,842 --> 00:43:54,174 Hey, man. You following me? 1062 00:43:54,912 --> 00:43:56,641 Following you? Why would I be following you? 1063 00:43:56,714 --> 00:43:58,341 No, I'm just looking for milk. 1064 00:43:59,684 --> 00:44:03,279 Okay. 'Cause, remember, I mentioned out on the street there, 1065 00:44:03,354 --> 00:44:04,878 there's a store right in the neighborhood. 1066 00:44:05,122 --> 00:44:06,919 True, but Dina likes the organic stuff 1067 00:44:06,991 --> 00:44:09,459 and I heard there was a natural food market downtown. 1068 00:44:09,860 --> 00:44:13,318 Amazing, you going all this way just for a carton of milk. 1069 00:44:16,867 --> 00:44:18,357 You know what? You should get off here. 1070 00:44:18,436 --> 00:44:20,768 There's a really great natural foods market 1071 00:44:20,838 --> 00:44:22,669 about two blocks south of the station. 1072 00:44:23,274 --> 00:44:24,263 Oh. 1073 00:44:32,149 --> 00:44:33,173 Have a good night, Jack. 1074 00:44:33,451 --> 00:44:34,611 You, too, Greg. 1075 00:44:51,736 --> 00:44:52,725 GREG: Hey. 1076 00:44:53,070 --> 00:44:54,697 Oh! Hey. 1077 00:44:55,306 --> 00:44:56,398 Superstar! 1078 00:44:59,543 --> 00:45:02,103 Everything cool? You seem a little edgy. 1079 00:45:02,313 --> 00:45:05,214 No, I'm good. It's just my in-laws are in town, so... 1080 00:45:05,649 --> 00:45:06,946 Anyway, I went over the drug info 1081 00:45:07,018 --> 00:45:08,576 and I think I got the science down pretty well. 1082 00:45:08,652 --> 00:45:11,280 Oh, no, Greg. These doctors don't care about that stuff. 1083 00:45:11,555 --> 00:45:15,389 If you want to sell a drug like Sustengo, you have to make it personal. 1084 00:45:16,293 --> 00:45:17,783 Do you know any sexually frustrated 1085 00:45:17,862 --> 00:45:19,420 old dudes with a heart condition? 1086 00:45:39,750 --> 00:45:41,411 I didn't hear you come in. 1087 00:45:43,020 --> 00:45:44,885 What kept you so long? 1088 00:45:46,123 --> 00:45:48,853 I just got a little bit lost. Everyone asleep? 1089 00:45:48,926 --> 00:45:49,915 Yeah. 1090 00:45:50,194 --> 00:45:52,219 We've got the house to ourselves. 1091 00:45:53,164 --> 00:45:58,966 I'm so happy that you got away from your wife. 1092 00:46:00,137 --> 00:46:01,604 Excuse me? 1093 00:46:01,672 --> 00:46:03,435 She's been very suspicious lately. 1094 00:46:03,941 --> 00:46:06,739 Quick, quick, quick. We only have an hour. 1095 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,843 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1096 00:46:10,915 --> 00:46:13,247 Jack, come on. You've gotta play along. 1097 00:46:13,317 --> 00:46:16,252 Roz Focker said we have to have an affair with each other. 1098 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:17,981 I'm role playing. 1099 00:46:18,055 --> 00:46:19,249 Right, right, right. I understand. 1100 00:46:19,323 --> 00:46:23,089 I just have a bit of a headache, sweetheart, tonight. 1101 00:46:23,227 --> 00:46:26,663 I know. You've had that worried look on your face all day. 1102 00:46:26,864 --> 00:46:30,527 I promise you, the Focker family is going to be fine. 1103 00:46:30,968 --> 00:46:32,299 Now, come on. 1104 00:46:32,570 --> 00:46:34,561 Before my husband comes home. 1105 00:46:35,473 --> 00:46:38,738 Then, we'd better hurry, my illicit lover. Let me just brush my teeth. 1106 00:46:38,809 --> 00:46:40,106 Ooh. 1107 00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,782 Your father-in-law did not really put you in a lie detector machine. 1108 00:46:52,289 --> 00:46:53,449 No, that's true. 1109 00:46:53,524 --> 00:46:54,548 That's incredible! 1110 00:46:55,326 --> 00:46:58,193 Jesus Christ, I thought my wife's father was bad. 1111 00:46:58,262 --> 00:46:59,320 That was a great speech, nurse. 1112 00:46:59,864 --> 00:47:00,922 Thank you. 1113 00:47:00,998 --> 00:47:02,022 And hey, "I'm staring at you." 1114 00:47:02,366 --> 00:47:03,560 (LAUGHING) 1115 00:47:04,135 --> 00:47:06,968 It was "I'm watching you," but that's what he did, yes. Thank you. 1116 00:47:07,404 --> 00:47:09,235 You killed it tonight. 1117 00:47:09,673 --> 00:47:12,233 Those stories about your family were hilarious. 1118 00:47:12,309 --> 00:47:14,174 Thank you. So, I should be getting going. 1119 00:47:14,345 --> 00:47:16,939 Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're my fiancé. 1120 00:47:17,047 --> 00:47:18,537 Hey, gorgeous. 1121 00:47:18,616 --> 00:47:21,141 Hello, Dr. Ballard. So nice to see you. 1122 00:47:21,218 --> 00:47:24,745 Hey, can I get you 200 cc's of anything you want, stat? 1123 00:47:25,556 --> 00:47:28,889 Only if you can buy a drink for my fiancé as well. 1124 00:47:29,827 --> 00:47:31,454 Didn't know you were engaged. 1125 00:47:31,629 --> 00:47:33,688 Can you take a picture for us for my scrapbook? 1126 00:47:33,764 --> 00:47:35,527 You know what? You don't... He doesn't have to do that. 1127 00:47:35,599 --> 00:47:36,623 ANDI: Yeah, it's for our scrapbook. 1128 00:47:36,700 --> 00:47:38,691 No, you know what, bro? I'm cool like that. I'll do that. 1129 00:47:38,769 --> 00:47:40,293 You are such a doll. 1130 00:47:40,571 --> 00:47:41,663 Here we go. 1131 00:47:42,373 --> 00:47:43,670 One, two, three. Whoa! 1132 00:47:44,875 --> 00:47:45,864 Best picture ever. 1133 00:47:46,777 --> 00:47:49,007 You look great and you have, like, a red-eye problem. 1134 00:47:49,246 --> 00:47:50,406 I'll see you later, babe. 1135 00:47:50,481 --> 00:47:52,711 I cannot believe I ever slept with that guy. 1136 00:47:52,917 --> 00:47:53,941 Yeah, right. 1137 00:47:54,018 --> 00:47:55,246 No, seriously, I did. 1138 00:47:55,519 --> 00:47:57,749 At a convention in Milwaukee last summer. 1139 00:47:57,821 --> 00:48:01,154 We were, like, drinking tequila, doing rum chasers. 1140 00:48:01,892 --> 00:48:03,450 Always a bad idea, right? 1141 00:48:03,527 --> 00:48:04,551 Yeah. 1142 00:48:04,795 --> 00:48:06,729 Can you get me a margarita on the rocks, no salt? 1143 00:48:08,265 --> 00:48:09,732 You know what... I'm gonna run to the restroom. 1144 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:10,824 Gosh. You know what... 1145 00:48:10,901 --> 00:48:11,890 All right, cool. You're the best. 1146 00:48:12,503 --> 00:48:14,130 All right? All right. All right, okay. 1147 00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:19,107 Hi. Can I get a club soda and a margarita on the rocks with no salt? 1148 00:48:19,610 --> 00:48:20,634 Thanks. 1149 00:48:21,011 --> 00:48:22,342 Night out on the town, Focker? 1150 00:48:23,747 --> 00:48:25,271 Dr. Bob. Hey, man! 1151 00:48:25,349 --> 00:48:26,338 What are you doing here? 1152 00:48:26,417 --> 00:48:28,476 I'm here for the convention. What about you? 1153 00:48:29,420 --> 00:48:31,911 Doing some work for Pfosten as a medical expert. 1154 00:48:33,090 --> 00:48:34,079 But you're a nurse. 1155 00:48:34,291 --> 00:48:37,624 You know what? I don't really have anything to say to you. 1156 00:48:38,095 --> 00:48:41,929 Okay, I get it, Greg. I screwed up. 1157 00:48:42,533 --> 00:48:44,933 But the pressure of being in that family finally got to me. 1158 00:48:45,069 --> 00:48:47,060 What are you talking about? You were his golden boy. 1159 00:48:47,238 --> 00:48:48,796 More like his golden bitch. 1160 00:48:49,039 --> 00:48:51,837 He wanted Deb and me to get married in Oyster Bay. Done. 1161 00:48:52,142 --> 00:48:54,201 Can we name our baby after him? "You got it, Jack." 1162 00:48:54,578 --> 00:48:56,910 And he gives me this whole spiel, right, 1163 00:48:56,981 --> 00:48:59,245 about how I'm next in line to his throne. 1164 00:49:00,117 --> 00:49:02,779 He came up with this name for me, the Bobfather. 1165 00:49:05,823 --> 00:49:08,189 Really? He said that to you? 1166 00:49:10,527 --> 00:49:12,085 He pulled the same shit on you, didn't he? 1167 00:49:12,496 --> 00:49:16,330 In that family, we're all just hamsters on Jack Byrnes' little wheel. 1168 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,301 His Circus of Trust, or whatever he calls it. 1169 00:49:20,004 --> 00:49:21,164 Circle of Trust. 1170 00:49:21,238 --> 00:49:23,502 I had no idea how deep I was in until I stepped away. 1171 00:49:23,574 --> 00:49:24,563 And I'll tell you something, 1172 00:49:24,642 --> 00:49:27,577 once I got off the treadmill, I've never been happier. 1173 00:49:28,646 --> 00:49:30,273 Yeah, well, I think I got it under control. 1174 00:49:44,194 --> 00:49:45,183 Hello, Greg. 1175 00:49:46,964 --> 00:49:47,953 Hey. 1176 00:49:48,666 --> 00:49:49,997 Hey, Jack. 1177 00:49:50,701 --> 00:49:52,692 You mind explaining this? 1178 00:49:54,972 --> 00:49:55,961 What is that? Oh. 1179 00:49:56,907 --> 00:49:58,568 Sustengo. Yeah, that's... You know. 1180 00:49:59,176 --> 00:50:01,474 These drug companies, they give me all these free samples. 1181 00:50:02,146 --> 00:50:03,135 Is that it? 1182 00:50:04,415 --> 00:50:05,746 Or do you need to use this 1183 00:50:05,816 --> 00:50:07,943 because you're no longer sexually attracted to Pam? 1184 00:50:08,852 --> 00:50:12,447 You know what, Jack? That's ridiculous. 1185 00:50:12,523 --> 00:50:13,683 Really. You know what? 1186 00:50:13,757 --> 00:50:15,987 I'm not even gonna go there with you. This is... 1187 00:50:16,660 --> 00:50:19,322 Have a good night, all right? I'm gonna go sleep. 1188 00:50:19,430 --> 00:50:21,421 Don't walk away from me, Focker. 1189 00:50:25,869 --> 00:50:27,359 Jack, is everything okay down there? 1190 00:50:27,938 --> 00:50:29,030 Everything's fine. 1191 00:50:29,106 --> 00:50:32,041 Okay. All right. 'Cause you seem to have a little, I mean... 1192 00:50:32,109 --> 00:50:34,475 I know what I have, Greg, and I'm not concerned about that right now. 1193 00:50:34,545 --> 00:50:36,536 Right now, what I want from you is the truth. 1194 00:50:38,248 --> 00:50:42,275 Jack, did you take one of those pills? 1195 00:50:42,619 --> 00:50:44,314 Well, I was highly preoccupied 1196 00:50:44,388 --> 00:50:45,446 and Dina wanted to make love, 1197 00:50:45,522 --> 00:50:47,956 and the label clearly states that it's safe for heart patients. 1198 00:50:48,025 --> 00:50:49,515 Yes, but you need a prescription 1199 00:50:49,593 --> 00:50:51,618 after you've had a thorough examination. 1200 00:50:51,695 --> 00:50:54,186 How long have you had that... The situation for? 1201 00:50:55,032 --> 00:50:56,124 Stop avoiding the question. 1202 00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,292 I'm not avoiding the question. 1203 00:50:57,368 --> 00:50:58,926 If you've had that for more than four hours, 1204 00:50:59,002 --> 00:51:02,062 you could bust a capillary and have serious permanent damage. 1205 00:51:02,139 --> 00:51:03,367 How long have you had it? 1206 00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:04,907 Been a little longer than four hours. 1207 00:51:04,975 --> 00:51:06,101 How long? 1208 00:51:06,176 --> 00:51:07,507 Maybe about five and a half. 1209 00:51:08,212 --> 00:51:09,873 Jack, you got to get to an ER right now 1210 00:51:09,947 --> 00:51:11,710 and get a shot of adrenaline to counteract that drug. 1211 00:51:11,782 --> 00:51:13,716 You're a nurse. Don't you have that kind of stuff in the house? 1212 00:51:13,784 --> 00:51:14,944 Yeah, I have an Epi kit, 1213 00:51:15,018 --> 00:51:16,679 but I'm not gonna give you a shot there, okay? 1214 00:51:16,754 --> 00:51:19,222 Focker, there is no way I'm going to an ER room with this thing. 1215 00:51:19,289 --> 00:51:21,314 Now you need to stick me and you need to stick me now! 1216 00:51:21,392 --> 00:51:22,484 I'm having a dick attack! Stick me! 1217 00:51:22,559 --> 00:51:25,756 (WHISPERING) Shh. Just relax. Okay. 1218 00:51:25,829 --> 00:51:26,853 I'll get the needle. 1219 00:51:31,969 --> 00:51:36,099 All right. I need you to drop your pants. 1220 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,770 What kind of sick drug are you dealing to your patients? 1221 00:51:39,843 --> 00:51:41,811 Jack, I told you, I took home some samples. 1222 00:51:42,246 --> 00:51:43,577 All right? Maybe read the label 1223 00:51:43,647 --> 00:51:45,410 before you just pick up a drug and eat it. 1224 00:51:45,482 --> 00:51:46,506 Let's just do it. 1225 00:51:48,018 --> 00:51:49,713 I'm gonna administer the shot on the count of three. 1226 00:51:50,854 --> 00:51:52,446 Just... All right? 1227 00:51:55,159 --> 00:51:56,626 Okay. Just... 1228 00:51:56,693 --> 00:51:57,785 It's... 1229 00:51:57,861 --> 00:51:58,919 Your hands are cold. 1230 00:51:58,996 --> 00:52:00,725 I'm sorry. It's a bit... 1231 00:52:00,798 --> 00:52:01,992 Okay. 1232 00:52:03,700 --> 00:52:04,894 One, 1233 00:52:06,370 --> 00:52:07,496 two, 1234 00:52:08,138 --> 00:52:09,230 three. 1235 00:52:09,306 --> 00:52:11,740 Focker! 1236 00:52:11,809 --> 00:52:12,798 (SCREAMING) 1237 00:52:14,211 --> 00:52:15,473 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 1238 00:52:19,817 --> 00:52:21,512 Wait, what's going on? What happened? 1239 00:52:21,585 --> 00:52:23,780 Everything's fine. Henry had a little nightmare, 1240 00:52:23,854 --> 00:52:25,412 but Greg's got him settled down, okay. 1241 00:52:25,489 --> 00:52:27,389 No, no, Jack, I thought I heard you screaming, too. 1242 00:52:27,458 --> 00:52:29,323 No, you didn't. It was all Henry. 1243 00:52:29,393 --> 00:52:30,655 Well, let me go check on him... Oh, no, no, no. 1244 00:52:30,727 --> 00:52:32,354 ...and make sure he's okay. You guys go to sleep. 1245 00:52:32,429 --> 00:52:34,124 Everything's under control. 1246 00:52:38,735 --> 00:52:40,828 Could you and Dad keep it down, please? 1247 00:52:41,905 --> 00:52:45,204 Here's Sirius Black. Here's Orange Ninja, okay? 1248 00:52:45,943 --> 00:52:47,410 You all right? Yeah. 1249 00:52:47,478 --> 00:52:48,877 JACK: (WHISPERS) Greg? Yeah. 1250 00:52:49,813 --> 00:52:51,405 How's he doing? He's all right. 1251 00:52:51,482 --> 00:52:53,882 You know, he's a little shaken up, but... 1252 00:52:53,951 --> 00:52:56,818 Greg, I was involved in some covert CIA-sponsored 1253 00:52:56,887 --> 00:52:59,082 mind-altering techniques back in the '70s. 1254 00:52:59,156 --> 00:53:00,817 I'd like a few minutes alone with him 1255 00:53:00,891 --> 00:53:03,052 just to erase what he saw from his memory. 1256 00:53:03,393 --> 00:53:05,418 You're not gonna erase my son's memory. 1257 00:53:05,496 --> 00:53:09,159 Greg, he saw his father inject a needle into his grandfather's penis. 1258 00:53:09,233 --> 00:53:13,033 He already has issues. That's something he might never recover from. 1259 00:53:13,103 --> 00:53:15,230 I'll handle it, okay? All right? 1260 00:53:15,305 --> 00:53:16,294 Okay, thank you. 1261 00:53:18,842 --> 00:53:21,072 Hey, buddy. 1262 00:53:21,144 --> 00:53:24,978 So, you know how sometimes you need help when you... 1263 00:53:26,216 --> 00:53:27,808 When you make a wee-wee? Yeah. 1264 00:53:27,885 --> 00:53:30,353 Well, when you get to be Grandpa Jack's age, 1265 00:53:30,420 --> 00:53:33,048 sometimes you need help making a wee-wee, too. 1266 00:53:33,123 --> 00:53:34,283 So that's what you saw me doing. 1267 00:53:34,358 --> 00:53:37,225 I was helping Grandpa Jack because he's old. 1268 00:53:38,829 --> 00:53:40,797 Well, why did he scream so loud? 1269 00:53:41,565 --> 00:53:44,830 He wasn't screaming. He was celebrating, he was just so happy. 1270 00:53:44,902 --> 00:53:50,204 He was, like, "Oh, Focker. Thanks for helping me make a wee-wee." 1271 00:53:50,807 --> 00:53:52,968 He just... He was so happy. Right, right? 1272 00:53:53,043 --> 00:53:54,203 Right, Greg. 1273 00:53:54,278 --> 00:53:55,939 Yeah. JACK: Understand? 1274 00:53:56,246 --> 00:53:57,713 I think so. GREG: Good. 1275 00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:04,847 Don't think this incident is distracting me, Focker. 1276 00:54:04,922 --> 00:54:07,720 I know you're up to something and I'm watching you. 1277 00:54:08,458 --> 00:54:11,586 Well, guess what? I have eyes, too. 1278 00:54:11,662 --> 00:54:16,258 So, I'll be watching you, watching me. 1279 00:54:16,967 --> 00:54:18,264 Okay. All right? 1280 00:54:18,335 --> 00:54:19,563 Fair enough. Good. 1281 00:54:19,636 --> 00:54:21,069 So we just watch each other, all right? 1282 00:54:21,138 --> 00:54:22,503 Okay, okay. 1283 00:54:29,813 --> 00:54:31,007 I'm watching you right now. 1284 00:54:42,359 --> 00:54:43,587 (PHONE RINGING) 1285 00:54:44,127 --> 00:54:46,152 MAN: Domsey's Bakery. How can I help you? 1286 00:54:46,897 --> 00:54:51,231 Hello, yes, do you still have the pineapple upside-down cake? 1287 00:54:51,301 --> 00:54:54,134 Yes, we do. Would you like chocolate or vanilla frosting? 1288 00:54:54,538 --> 00:54:57,029 Neither. I'm only interested in merengue. 1289 00:54:58,008 --> 00:55:00,033 Please give me your access code and releasing ID. 1290 00:55:00,110 --> 00:55:04,137 This is Santa. Releasing ID 7726548. 1291 00:55:05,382 --> 00:55:07,145 I need all-source, derogatory only, 1292 00:55:07,217 --> 00:55:09,151 on a person named Andi Garcia. 1293 00:55:09,252 --> 00:55:11,049 Alpha November Delta Indigo... 1294 00:55:11,121 --> 00:55:14,215 Santa, your clearances haven't been active for 12 years. 1295 00:55:14,891 --> 00:55:16,552 Now, you listen to me, Young Turk. 1296 00:55:16,627 --> 00:55:18,288 I was bugging Ho Chi Minh's sock drawer 1297 00:55:18,395 --> 00:55:19,657 while you were still in diapers, 1298 00:55:19,730 --> 00:55:21,391 so don't tell me about clearances. 1299 00:55:21,465 --> 00:55:23,126 Sir, my hands are tied. 1300 00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,794 But, I mean, you could probably just google the subject 1301 00:55:25,869 --> 00:55:28,235 and find out everything you need to know. 1302 00:55:28,639 --> 00:55:29,628 Oh. 1303 00:55:29,740 --> 00:55:32,174 Then I'll do that. Santa out. 1304 00:55:41,752 --> 00:55:42,741 Hmm. 1305 00:56:01,138 --> 00:56:04,869 Oh, honey, I can't wait to see Kevin's timeshare later today, huh? 1306 00:56:05,442 --> 00:56:07,672 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1307 00:56:07,744 --> 00:56:08,870 What you doing? 1308 00:56:09,546 --> 00:56:11,013 Oh, just checking the weather. 1309 00:56:11,081 --> 00:56:12,446 There's a cold front coming in. 1310 00:56:12,516 --> 00:56:13,608 Oh, no. 1311 00:56:13,684 --> 00:56:14,708 Oh, yeah. 1312 00:56:21,692 --> 00:56:22,886 Thanks. 1313 00:56:24,861 --> 00:56:25,885 DINA: Greg. 1314 00:56:26,563 --> 00:56:28,030 Hey, how you doing? Sorry, I'm late. 1315 00:56:28,098 --> 00:56:29,224 Hi, honey. 1316 00:56:30,434 --> 00:56:32,061 A little emergency at the hospital. 1317 00:56:32,135 --> 00:56:34,467 Kevin was showing us his magnificent estate. 1318 00:56:34,538 --> 00:56:35,596 GREG: It's really nice. 1319 00:56:35,672 --> 00:56:36,696 So this is where you rough it 1320 00:56:36,773 --> 00:56:38,035 when you're not at the homeless shelter? 1321 00:56:38,108 --> 00:56:40,770 Kind of split time between the two. Maybe 60l40 here. 1322 00:56:40,844 --> 00:56:42,812 Really? Now that Greg's finally arrived, 1323 00:56:42,879 --> 00:56:44,744 why don't I take you over to see the meadow? 1324 00:56:54,524 --> 00:56:55,548 JACK: Yeah, this is perfect. 1325 00:56:55,625 --> 00:56:57,217 Oh, this is impressive. GREG: Wow, nice backyard. 1326 00:56:57,327 --> 00:56:58,692 JACK: Yeah, love it. PAM: Wow, it is. 1327 00:56:58,762 --> 00:56:59,820 Thank you. 1328 00:56:59,930 --> 00:57:01,522 JACK: Let's reserve that quadrant over there, Kevin. 1329 00:57:01,598 --> 00:57:03,122 It's perfect for the three-legged race, 1330 00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:04,531 egg toss, capture-the-flag game. 1331 00:57:04,601 --> 00:57:08,537 Why don't we put up a ring of bouncy castles right out there 1332 00:57:08,605 --> 00:57:10,505 and we have, like, a relay race for the kids 1333 00:57:10,574 --> 00:57:12,906 kind of intertwined in between them. 1334 00:57:12,976 --> 00:57:14,068 Loving it, Kev-O. 1335 00:57:14,144 --> 00:57:16,169 Kevin, is that a tattoo on your back? 1336 00:57:16,246 --> 00:57:17,406 Oh, yes, it is, Dina. 1337 00:57:17,481 --> 00:57:19,676 It looks really elaborate. Could we take a look at it? 1338 00:57:19,750 --> 00:57:21,047 Oh, sure. PAM: Mom. 1339 00:57:21,118 --> 00:57:23,018 Well, it's a curiosity. 1340 00:57:23,253 --> 00:57:24,277 (GASPS) 1341 00:57:24,354 --> 00:57:26,083 My gosh. 1342 00:57:27,858 --> 00:57:28,847 Hmm. 1343 00:57:29,092 --> 00:57:30,354 DINA: Wow. 1344 00:57:31,027 --> 00:57:32,358 Is that Pam? 1345 00:57:32,429 --> 00:57:33,794 Yeah, it is. 1346 00:57:33,864 --> 00:57:35,593 You know, after the whole Svetlana episode, 1347 00:57:35,665 --> 00:57:37,860 I went on a little bit of a drunken bender 1348 00:57:37,934 --> 00:57:40,926 and wound up in a tattoo shop in Moscow. 1349 00:57:41,004 --> 00:57:42,801 And I asked the artist to ink me 1350 00:57:42,873 --> 00:57:44,272 with the image of the one woman 1351 00:57:44,341 --> 00:57:47,037 who's always loved me unconditionally. 1352 00:57:47,110 --> 00:57:48,873 Pam. My grandmother. 1353 00:57:49,412 --> 00:57:51,471 The point being, in my drunken stupor, 1354 00:57:51,548 --> 00:57:53,948 I must have handed him a photo of Pam instead. 1355 00:57:54,251 --> 00:57:56,185 You carry a picture of Pam in your wallet. 1356 00:57:56,253 --> 00:57:58,380 I do. I carry pictures of many treasured friends 1357 00:57:58,455 --> 00:57:59,683 and loved ones on my travels. 1358 00:58:00,624 --> 00:58:01,852 Got a picture of me? 1359 00:58:01,925 --> 00:58:03,950 Of course I got a picture of you. 1360 00:58:04,027 --> 00:58:06,154 You recognize this mensch right here? 1361 00:58:06,863 --> 00:58:08,455 Ah. There I am. Kind of. There you are, yeah. 1362 00:58:08,532 --> 00:58:09,794 That's... Interesting. 1363 00:58:09,866 --> 00:58:11,697 This is actually a very flattering portrait of you, Pam-cake. 1364 00:58:11,768 --> 00:58:12,792 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1365 00:58:12,869 --> 00:58:13,858 Excuse me. Dad. 1366 00:58:13,937 --> 00:58:15,268 Prudence? Yes! Hello! 1367 00:58:15,338 --> 00:58:16,327 Yeah, hold on, honey. I don't... 1368 00:58:17,374 --> 00:58:20,070 Terrific. Okay, yes, thanks, Pru. 1369 00:58:20,710 --> 00:58:23,679 That was Prudence and she says if you get to E.H.S. by 3:00, 1370 00:58:23,747 --> 00:58:25,271 she can squeeze you in for an interview. 1371 00:58:25,348 --> 00:58:26,838 PAM: All right, that's great! Way to go, Kev-O. 1372 00:58:26,917 --> 00:58:28,248 PAM: Thank you, Kevin. GREG: Good job. 1373 00:58:31,121 --> 00:58:32,713 So great you two could join us. 1374 00:58:33,023 --> 00:58:35,958 Really wonderful when grandparents play an integral role 1375 00:58:36,026 --> 00:58:37,926 in early humans' lives. We love them. 1376 00:58:37,994 --> 00:58:39,586 Early humans do need guidance. 1377 00:58:40,263 --> 00:58:42,959 Is that your role, Jack? To guide them? 1378 00:58:43,033 --> 00:58:45,160 Yes, I see myself as something of a shepherd, 1379 00:58:45,235 --> 00:58:47,965 guiding our family through life's pastures. 1380 00:58:48,038 --> 00:58:51,371 Yes, I would say Jack is sort of an honorary shepherd. 1381 00:58:51,441 --> 00:58:54,569 Kind of a shepherd emeritus, if you will. 1382 00:58:54,945 --> 00:58:59,109 Well, when my sheep wander, I use my prod to keep my flock in line. 1383 00:59:00,617 --> 00:59:04,417 Oh, there are a lot of family dynamics at play here. 1384 00:59:05,222 --> 00:59:07,019 Why don't we begin the interview process? 1385 00:59:08,158 --> 00:59:11,992 Okay, Henry, I just want you to clear your mind 1386 00:59:12,395 --> 00:59:16,593 and draw a picture for me of the first thing that comes to mind 1387 00:59:16,666 --> 00:59:19,567 when you hear the word "family." 1388 00:59:20,303 --> 00:59:21,292 Oh. 1389 00:59:22,038 --> 00:59:23,733 This is just like being at the eye doctor. 1390 00:59:23,807 --> 00:59:25,741 Start at the top and work your way down. 1391 00:59:25,909 --> 00:59:27,638 Why would she give her an eye test? 1392 00:59:27,711 --> 00:59:29,872 It's called a Heisenreich Experiment. 1393 00:59:29,946 --> 00:59:31,538 We used it at the agency to test 1394 00:59:31,615 --> 00:59:33,310 the aptitude of potential recruits. 1395 00:59:34,818 --> 00:59:37,719 All the letters are the same, so it's not really an eye test. 1396 00:59:39,222 --> 00:59:41,452 Very impressive cognition, Samantha. 1397 00:59:41,758 --> 00:59:44,124 E... E... 1398 00:59:45,762 --> 00:59:48,526 E? I need to start over. 1399 00:59:48,899 --> 00:59:49,888 (SIGHS) 1400 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:53,431 Okay, Henry, let's see what you've chosen to draw. 1401 00:59:53,503 --> 00:59:54,492 (GASPS) 1402 00:59:54,905 --> 00:59:56,065 What is it? What did he draw? 1403 00:59:58,608 --> 01:00:02,772 Dad stuck Grandpa Jack in the wee-wee last night. Because he's old. 1404 01:00:03,146 --> 01:00:04,670 I'm sorry? What did he say? 1405 01:00:04,748 --> 01:00:06,045 I didn't hear him. 1406 01:00:06,416 --> 01:00:08,350 Something about Grandpa Jack having a cold. 1407 01:00:08,718 --> 01:00:10,686 So tell me about your parents, Samantha. 1408 01:00:11,254 --> 01:00:13,518 Tell me about your parents, Prudence. 1409 01:00:17,294 --> 01:00:18,352 That's my girl. 1410 01:00:18,728 --> 01:00:20,389 Wanna tell me about your family? 1411 01:00:20,463 --> 01:00:21,760 My dad is a great guy. 1412 01:00:22,032 --> 01:00:23,056 Thank you, buddy. 1413 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,094 But Grandpa Jack makes him really, really scared. 1414 01:00:27,170 --> 01:00:29,104 So he acts all crazy when he's with him. 1415 01:00:29,172 --> 01:00:32,266 Like he tried to cut the turkey with Grandpa's big knife 1416 01:00:32,342 --> 01:00:37,245 and he slipped and he cut his finger. And he was like, "Oh, shit!" 1417 01:00:39,349 --> 01:00:41,010 Oh, he's blowing the interview. 1418 01:00:41,084 --> 01:00:43,382 She's setting him up to fail with these questions. 1419 01:00:43,453 --> 01:00:45,717 I mean, Sam's a better tester, anyway, so... 1420 01:00:45,789 --> 01:00:47,450 Well, that's because she takes after... 1421 01:00:47,524 --> 01:00:48,889 Takes after who, Jack? 1422 01:00:48,959 --> 01:00:51,291 Let's just say I've done some research on twins. 1423 01:00:51,361 --> 01:00:52,851 There's a theory that in certain cases, 1424 01:00:52,929 --> 01:00:55,489 one twin gets an extra chromosome from the father, 1425 01:00:55,565 --> 01:00:57,533 while the other sibling gets an extra chromosome 1426 01:00:57,600 --> 01:00:58,726 from the mother's side. 1427 01:00:58,802 --> 01:00:59,826 Hmm. 1428 01:01:00,070 --> 01:01:02,038 Sam might be three quarters Byrnes, 1429 01:01:02,105 --> 01:01:03,572 whereas Henry could very well have 1430 01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:05,471 a double dose of Focker in him. 1431 01:01:06,843 --> 01:01:08,276 And what if he does? 1432 01:01:08,778 --> 01:01:10,939 My Grandpa Bernie taught me this. Pull my finger. 1433 01:01:11,348 --> 01:01:12,337 Oh. 1434 01:01:12,716 --> 01:01:13,705 (MIMICS FARTING) 1435 01:01:15,819 --> 01:01:16,843 Double dose. 1436 01:01:17,253 --> 01:01:18,311 (LAUGHING) 1437 01:01:19,422 --> 01:01:22,152 Let's go out to the courtyard for some free play. 1438 01:01:23,426 --> 01:01:25,860 I mean, what is "free-play test"? 1439 01:01:25,929 --> 01:01:27,260 How well they hang on the monkey bars? 1440 01:01:27,330 --> 01:01:28,422 I don't think you get it, Greg. 1441 01:01:28,965 --> 01:01:30,330 You know when prison guards learn the most 1442 01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,766 about their inmate population? 1443 01:01:32,836 --> 01:01:34,098 During rec time in the yard. 1444 01:01:34,537 --> 01:01:36,232 I'm sure Prudence is in her office right now 1445 01:01:36,306 --> 01:01:37,933 watching every move these kids make. 1446 01:01:39,609 --> 01:01:40,667 Dad? Yeah. 1447 01:01:40,744 --> 01:01:42,803 Can I please go climb that big rock wall? 1448 01:01:42,879 --> 01:01:44,346 Yeah, okay. Just be careful, buddy, all right? 1449 01:01:44,414 --> 01:01:45,813 All right. 1450 01:01:45,882 --> 01:01:47,349 Do you think he can handle that? 1451 01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:48,714 What's the big deal? 1452 01:01:48,785 --> 01:01:51,253 I'm just not sure you've instilled the physical confidence 1453 01:01:51,321 --> 01:01:52,845 for him to shear a face like that. 1454 01:01:53,289 --> 01:01:56,816 Jack, do me a favor. Just let go of the reins a little, okay? 1455 01:01:57,260 --> 01:01:59,888 I'll let go, Greg, when you show me, once and for all, 1456 01:01:59,963 --> 01:02:01,430 that you have what it takes to lead. 1457 01:02:01,998 --> 01:02:04,159 I am in control of my family, all right? 1458 01:02:04,234 --> 01:02:06,998 If I give Henry permission to climb a wall, he can climb a wall. 1459 01:02:07,070 --> 01:02:09,265 If he says he wants to climb the Empire State Building 1460 01:02:09,339 --> 01:02:10,499 and I say it's okay, 1461 01:02:10,573 --> 01:02:12,131 it's okay, because I'm in charge. 1462 01:02:12,208 --> 01:02:14,267 All right? I'm calling the plays now. 1463 01:02:14,344 --> 01:02:17,643 So you just got to step back and accept the fact that I have got this. 1464 01:02:17,714 --> 01:02:18,703 HENRY: Whoa! 1465 01:02:18,782 --> 01:02:19,771 (THUDDING) 1466 01:02:20,884 --> 01:02:23,614 Oh, he is such a brave boy, isn't he? 1467 01:02:23,686 --> 01:02:26,177 See, it's not so bad. It's just a slight fracture. 1468 01:02:26,289 --> 01:02:27,620 Okay, thanks. 1469 01:02:27,690 --> 01:02:28,679 Hey, Henry, are you doing all right? 1470 01:02:30,894 --> 01:02:32,862 Hey, I came as soon as I heard. 1471 01:02:32,929 --> 01:02:36,057 Prudence told me there was a little bit of a kerfuffle over at E.H.S. 1472 01:02:36,132 --> 01:02:38,100 Oh, that's an understatement. Thanks to Greg, 1473 01:02:38,168 --> 01:02:40,466 we can wave goodbye to their educational future. 1474 01:02:40,537 --> 01:02:41,595 DINA: Jack. 1475 01:02:41,671 --> 01:02:42,933 KEVIN: Oh, no, no. Pru's a forgiving soul. 1476 01:02:43,006 --> 01:02:45,270 I think I can patch things up. In the meantime, 1477 01:02:45,341 --> 01:02:47,775 I got a little something for Hank the Tank here. 1478 01:02:48,211 --> 01:02:51,180 Someone to keep you company until you're reunited with Arthur. 1479 01:02:51,981 --> 01:02:53,812 What is that? Thanks, Papa Kev. 1480 01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:55,478 Papa Kev? 1481 01:02:55,552 --> 01:02:56,712 Yeah, old fraternity nickname. 1482 01:02:56,786 --> 01:03:00,222 I told Hank the Tank here he could call me by that handle. 1483 01:03:00,290 --> 01:03:02,952 You're not Hank the Tank. Nobody calls him Hank the Tank. 1484 01:03:03,326 --> 01:03:04,350 You wanna be Papa Greg? 1485 01:03:04,427 --> 01:03:07,487 No, I am Papa... I'm Greg. I'm Greg, his papa. 1486 01:03:07,564 --> 01:03:08,656 So I don't need to be Papa Greg. 1487 01:03:08,731 --> 01:03:10,392 I don't need to put a little thing in front of it. 1488 01:03:10,467 --> 01:03:11,559 WOMAN ON PA: Paging Nurse Focker. 1489 01:03:11,634 --> 01:03:13,261 Pam, we need to talk for a minute. 1490 01:03:13,670 --> 01:03:14,728 Oh, okay. Mom? 1491 01:03:17,674 --> 01:03:19,141 Hey, Louis, what's up? 1492 01:03:19,209 --> 01:03:21,370 What up, dawg? Hey, hottie at 2:00. 1493 01:03:21,444 --> 01:03:22,570 There's the superstar! 1494 01:03:22,645 --> 01:03:23,703 Hey, hi, hi. 1495 01:03:23,780 --> 01:03:25,145 Hey! Oh. Hello. 1496 01:03:25,849 --> 01:03:27,749 I have the raddest news ever! 1497 01:03:27,817 --> 01:03:29,216 Really? Okay. 1498 01:03:29,619 --> 01:03:32,110 So our VP of marketing heard how well you did 1499 01:03:32,188 --> 01:03:34,156 on your speech last night and guess what? 1500 01:03:34,257 --> 01:03:35,281 What? 1501 01:03:35,358 --> 01:03:39,294 He wants us to lead the Pfosten convention in Maui next month. 1502 01:03:39,496 --> 01:03:41,589 Yeah, that sounds great. Honestly, I'm sorry. 1503 01:03:41,664 --> 01:03:42,858 I'm just a little distracted right now 1504 01:03:42,932 --> 01:03:44,092 'cause my son just broke his arm and... 1505 01:03:44,167 --> 01:03:45,259 Oh, poor baby. 1506 01:03:45,335 --> 01:03:46,461 Yeah, so... 1507 01:03:46,536 --> 01:03:47,628 You're a super dad. 1508 01:03:47,704 --> 01:03:50,673 No, I'm not a super dad. It is so cute 1509 01:03:50,740 --> 01:03:53,038 how involved you are with your kids. 1510 01:03:53,109 --> 01:03:56,374 No, no, no, that's just what dads do. It's not like a super... 1511 01:03:56,446 --> 01:03:58,380 Louis! What are you doing? Is this the book? 1512 01:03:58,448 --> 01:03:59,915 What is... No, go. Come on. 1513 01:03:59,983 --> 01:04:01,951 In the back, right? I got them. 1514 01:04:02,852 --> 01:04:04,183 Sorry, it's just... 1515 01:04:04,254 --> 01:04:05,516 Somebody's grumpy. 1516 01:04:05,989 --> 01:04:07,684 I'm gonna make this brief, Pam-cake. 1517 01:04:07,757 --> 01:04:08,951 I'm not getting any younger. 1518 01:04:09,025 --> 01:04:10,515 Dad. No, I want to make sure 1519 01:04:10,593 --> 01:04:13,528 there's someone around besides me who you can fully count on. 1520 01:04:13,596 --> 01:04:15,393 I couldn't help but notice how you and Kevin 1521 01:04:15,465 --> 01:04:17,558 have reconnected these past few days. 1522 01:04:17,634 --> 01:04:20,068 He's financially secure. He's great with the twins. 1523 01:04:20,136 --> 01:04:21,160 Got a heart of gold. 1524 01:04:21,571 --> 01:04:23,129 He's a little goofy, maybe, in his dressing, 1525 01:04:23,206 --> 01:04:24,696 but if that body art is any indication, 1526 01:04:24,774 --> 01:04:26,537 I'd say he's certainly open to the idea. 1527 01:04:27,610 --> 01:04:28,668 What idea? 1528 01:04:29,679 --> 01:04:32,512 The idea of a simple course correction. 1529 01:04:33,516 --> 01:04:35,074 A course correction. 1530 01:04:35,185 --> 01:04:37,210 Greg, Kevin. 1531 01:04:39,389 --> 01:04:41,789 Come on, grumpy daddy! Come to Hawaii. 1532 01:04:41,858 --> 01:04:43,052 (LAUGHING) Okay. 1533 01:04:43,126 --> 01:04:44,753 Okay, grumpy daddy will think about it. 1534 01:04:44,827 --> 01:04:46,021 Yes! Okay, okay. 1535 01:04:46,095 --> 01:04:48,120 Oh! Hey, honey, hi! 1536 01:04:48,531 --> 01:04:52,592 Perfect. Pam, this is Andi. Andi, this is Pam, my wife. 1537 01:04:53,069 --> 01:04:54,093 Hey. 1538 01:04:54,170 --> 01:04:56,263 Hi, it's a... It's a pleasure to meet you. 1539 01:04:56,339 --> 01:04:57,966 It's a pleasure to meet you, too. 1540 01:04:58,041 --> 01:04:59,872 Your husband is a freaking rock star, 1541 01:04:59,943 --> 01:05:02,343 but I'm sure you know how lucky you are. 1542 01:05:02,412 --> 01:05:04,312 Yeah. I'm not. She's the rock star. 1543 01:05:04,380 --> 01:05:07,941 She's a rock star mom and just full-on, rocking person. 1544 01:05:08,184 --> 01:05:09,208 Oh. 1545 01:05:09,285 --> 01:05:10,684 And I'm just a groupie 1546 01:05:11,154 --> 01:05:14,453 trying to, you know, carry her amps. 1547 01:05:14,691 --> 01:05:17,023 No, you're... You're... You're the man. 1548 01:05:17,260 --> 01:05:19,194 Everything all right here? 1549 01:05:20,029 --> 01:05:21,189 Yeah, Jack, everything's all right. 1550 01:05:21,264 --> 01:05:23,459 Pam, do you wanna... Oh, my God. 1551 01:05:23,533 --> 01:05:26,764 You must be the famous Jack Byrnes. 1552 01:05:26,836 --> 01:05:29,634 Wow. I have heard so much about you. 1553 01:05:30,473 --> 01:05:32,737 I've heard very little about you, Miss Garcia. 1554 01:05:32,809 --> 01:05:35,073 But I do admire your cheerleading photographs. 1555 01:05:35,478 --> 01:05:36,911 Henry's doing much better. 1556 01:05:36,980 --> 01:05:39,107 We were just singing an ancient Yanomamo song 1557 01:05:39,182 --> 01:05:41,173 about a brave warrior who falls from a tree 1558 01:05:41,251 --> 01:05:43,549 while hunting for chimpanzee meat. 1559 01:05:43,620 --> 01:05:45,611 He's good. Yeah. 1560 01:05:46,089 --> 01:05:47,579 Hi. Hi. 1561 01:05:47,657 --> 01:05:50,125 Andi Garcia. Pfosten Pharmaceuticals. 1562 01:05:50,827 --> 01:05:52,294 And you're Doctor... 1563 01:05:52,362 --> 01:05:53,727 No. He's not a doctor. 1564 01:05:53,796 --> 01:05:55,627 Not in the Western sense of the word. 1565 01:05:55,898 --> 01:05:58,162 Not in any sense of the word. You're an investment banker. 1566 01:05:58,968 --> 01:06:00,299 Many hats. Kevin. 1567 01:06:00,370 --> 01:06:01,359 Hi. 1568 01:06:02,872 --> 01:06:03,998 Okay, cool. 1569 01:06:04,073 --> 01:06:05,700 Well, I'm gonna mosey on out of here. 1570 01:06:06,976 --> 01:06:08,000 All right. 1571 01:06:08,077 --> 01:06:09,066 (SPEAKS HAWAIIAN) 1572 01:06:11,214 --> 01:06:13,011 Wow, you told me she sold boner medicine, Greg. 1573 01:06:13,082 --> 01:06:14,174 You didn't tell me she is boner medicine. 1574 01:06:14,250 --> 01:06:15,342 Pam, that's ridiculous. 1575 01:06:15,418 --> 01:06:17,648 You also said you wouldn't pick her out of a lineup, too. 1576 01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:19,187 Wouldn't pick her out of a lineup? 1577 01:06:19,255 --> 01:06:20,586 Greg, that woman is stunning! 1578 01:06:20,657 --> 01:06:22,056 Oh, he's covering, Kevin, 1579 01:06:22,125 --> 01:06:24,093 'cause he didn't want Pam to get suspicious. 1580 01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:25,821 Dad. Did you see the way his carotid artery 1581 01:06:25,895 --> 01:06:27,192 throbbed when he looked at her? 1582 01:06:27,263 --> 01:06:28,890 Dad. Give me a break, Jack. Come on. 1583 01:06:28,965 --> 01:06:30,330 Now this is what I'm talking about, Pam. 1584 01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,368 I'm sorry, but this man cannot be trusted. 1585 01:06:32,435 --> 01:06:34,801 Could you for once in your life stay out of my marriage? 1586 01:06:34,871 --> 01:06:36,498 Greg, come on, don't get hysterical. 1587 01:06:36,572 --> 01:06:38,472 I'm not getting hysterical. He's getting hysterical. 1588 01:06:38,541 --> 01:06:40,475 Look, it's natural to get a little tempted. 1589 01:06:40,543 --> 01:06:41,567 Nobody's tempted, nobody's... 1590 01:06:41,644 --> 01:06:42,906 Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha, 1591 01:06:42,979 --> 01:06:44,173 had to pass through some sorrow 1592 01:06:44,247 --> 01:06:45,578 on his way to enlightenment. 1593 01:06:45,648 --> 01:06:47,275 Our dear friend, the Buddha? 1594 01:06:47,350 --> 01:06:48,977 How's he doing? It's been so long. 1595 01:06:49,452 --> 01:06:50,612 Do you ever listen to yourself? 1596 01:06:50,687 --> 01:06:51,813 I try not to. 1597 01:06:51,888 --> 01:06:54,118 I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man, JC, 1598 01:06:54,190 --> 01:06:55,418 at the Sermon on the Mount. 1599 01:06:55,491 --> 01:06:57,482 I think that's what you've always admired about me. 1600 01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,653 Well, I got news for you. You're not Jesus. 1601 01:06:59,729 --> 01:07:01,390 Well, he may not be Jesus, 1602 01:07:01,464 --> 01:07:02,988 but he's a far better choice for Pam than you are, Greg. 1603 01:07:03,066 --> 01:07:04,226 Dad! 1604 01:07:04,300 --> 01:07:05,358 I'm sorry. Would you stop 1605 01:07:05,435 --> 01:07:07,027 with the course-correction stuff? No, that's right... 1606 01:07:07,103 --> 01:07:08,468 What's the course-correction stuff? It's nothing. 1607 01:07:08,538 --> 01:07:09,800 I want to hear all about it, Jack. 1608 01:07:09,872 --> 01:07:13,273 You're leading this family onto rocky shoals, Focker, 1609 01:07:13,343 --> 01:07:14,605 and as captain of the ship, 1610 01:07:14,677 --> 01:07:15,974 I'm steering us away to safety. 1611 01:07:16,045 --> 01:07:18,138 Well, you know what? You're not a ship's captain, Jack. 1612 01:07:18,214 --> 01:07:20,774 We're people. We're not on a boat, we're in a hospital. Okay? 1613 01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:23,717 We're human beings in a hospital and you're not the captain. 1614 01:07:23,786 --> 01:07:26,346 Well, I may not be the captain, Gregory Focker, 1615 01:07:26,422 --> 01:07:28,151 but you're not the Godfocker! 1616 01:07:29,592 --> 01:07:32,425 Good. 'Cause I don't want to be the stupid Godfocker. 1617 01:07:33,229 --> 01:07:36,790 I'm the Greg Focker, Jack! All right? I am Greg Focker! 1618 01:07:36,866 --> 01:07:39,357 And by the way, Dr. Bob told me you offered him the job first. 1619 01:07:39,435 --> 01:07:40,868 Nice to know I was your sloppy seconds. 1620 01:07:40,937 --> 01:07:42,336 You spoke to Dr. Bob? 1621 01:07:42,405 --> 01:07:44,032 Yeah, I did, Jack. 1622 01:07:44,107 --> 01:07:45,267 Had beers with him last night. 1623 01:07:45,341 --> 01:07:46,330 He's in town for a convention. 1624 01:07:46,409 --> 01:07:47,967 That's it. You're done. 1625 01:07:48,044 --> 01:07:49,375 You're done, it's over, that's it. You know what? 1626 01:07:49,445 --> 01:07:51,003 You can't tell me I'm done because I already quit. 1627 01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:52,377 You're done. I'm getting off the wheel. 1628 01:07:52,448 --> 01:07:53,472 What wheel? The wheel! 1629 01:07:53,549 --> 01:07:55,380 The little hamster wheel that we're all running up 1630 01:07:55,451 --> 01:07:57,783 to get a little taste of your little water thingy! 1631 01:07:57,854 --> 01:07:58,912 Just, please, approval! Approval! 1632 01:07:58,988 --> 01:08:00,012 What the hell are you doing? 1633 01:08:00,089 --> 01:08:01,647 Please! Give me some of the Jack... Yeah. 1634 01:08:01,724 --> 01:08:03,248 It's like a metaphor for your approval... 1635 01:08:03,326 --> 01:08:04,725 Thank you for clearing that up! 1636 01:08:04,794 --> 01:08:06,352 What are you even doing here, Kevin? 1637 01:08:06,429 --> 01:08:07,862 I'm trying to help. Why don't you get on 1638 01:08:07,930 --> 01:08:09,090 your stupid monster yacht 1639 01:08:09,165 --> 01:08:10,689 with your bubble-butt Russian girlfriend 1640 01:08:10,767 --> 01:08:13,759 and do Jell-O shots off of Deepak Chopra's butt? 1641 01:08:13,836 --> 01:08:16,202 Greg, don't drag Deepak into this. Please, Greg. 1642 01:08:17,306 --> 01:08:21,174 Hey, Dina. Jack had a heart attack two weeks ago. Adios, folks! 1643 01:08:28,785 --> 01:08:29,809 AUTOMATED VOICE: Going down. 1644 01:08:29,886 --> 01:08:30,875 Hey. 1645 01:08:31,654 --> 01:08:32,951 Hey. You okay? 1646 01:08:34,624 --> 01:08:36,319 Yeah. 1647 01:08:36,392 --> 01:08:37,416 Need a ride? 1648 01:08:39,595 --> 01:08:41,859 (ON ANSWERING MACHINE) Hey, it's Pam. Leave me a message. 1649 01:08:41,931 --> 01:08:43,262 GREG: Hey, I'm gonna sleep over 1650 01:08:43,332 --> 01:08:44,856 at the new house tonight, all right? 1651 01:08:44,934 --> 01:08:47,129 I just can't deal with your dad right now. 1652 01:08:50,440 --> 01:08:51,907 Are you sure you're gonna be okay? 1653 01:08:51,974 --> 01:08:55,341 Yeah, I think I just need to clear my head. Thanks for the ride. 1654 01:08:55,411 --> 01:08:56,435 No problem. 1655 01:09:00,383 --> 01:09:03,011 Why am I the bad guy here? Greg was the one who was being dishonest. 1656 01:09:03,085 --> 01:09:06,521 Oh, please. All Greg did was downplay that woman's looks, 1657 01:09:06,589 --> 01:09:08,955 so Pam wouldn't be jealous, and you know it. 1658 01:09:09,025 --> 01:09:10,253 You know you did the same thing 1659 01:09:10,326 --> 01:09:12,590 with that gorgeous double agent in Helsinki 1660 01:09:12,662 --> 01:09:13,754 during the Cold War. 1661 01:09:13,830 --> 01:09:16,094 Oh, you're still bringing up Aatukka Kokkonen. 1662 01:09:16,165 --> 01:09:18,599 I told you her beauty was privileged information. 1663 01:09:18,668 --> 01:09:20,329 It was a matter of national security. 1664 01:09:20,403 --> 01:09:22,769 Oh, yes. Like your heart condition? 1665 01:09:22,839 --> 01:09:23,931 Listen, Jack. 1666 01:09:24,707 --> 01:09:26,868 Greg cares about his family 1667 01:09:26,943 --> 01:09:30,037 just as much as you care about yours. All right? 1668 01:09:39,021 --> 01:09:40,010 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1669 01:09:40,289 --> 01:09:41,347 Pam? 1670 01:09:48,731 --> 01:09:51,723 Don't be mad. I totally don't want to harass you. 1671 01:09:51,801 --> 01:09:54,964 You just seemed so sad, I had to bring you some treats. 1672 01:09:55,705 --> 01:09:57,696 Oh. Wow, thanks. 1673 01:09:58,307 --> 01:10:01,333 Some Chinese food. Little wine. 1674 01:10:03,412 --> 01:10:04,902 No offense, 1675 01:10:04,981 --> 01:10:06,949 but does Pam even realize how dope you are? 1676 01:10:07,016 --> 01:10:10,213 Oh, yeah, no. I think she thinks I'm dope. 1677 01:10:10,286 --> 01:10:11,344 It's just, you know, 1678 01:10:12,588 --> 01:10:13,885 it just changes when you have kids, 1679 01:10:13,956 --> 01:10:15,856 you know, because everything becomes focused around them. 1680 01:10:15,925 --> 01:10:17,517 Totally. And I'm sure you're like, 1681 01:10:17,593 --> 01:10:19,754 "Hello! Can I have some fun, too?" 1682 01:10:20,630 --> 01:10:23,565 Yeah, no. I mean, it's fun, but it's just a different kind of fun. 1683 01:10:23,633 --> 01:10:24,691 More wine. 1684 01:10:24,767 --> 01:10:27,201 It's not like old single fun, where you go out. 1685 01:10:27,270 --> 01:10:31,070 It's more like wake up in the morning at 6:00, make the kids breakfast. 1686 01:10:31,140 --> 01:10:32,835 You know, that kind of fun. 1687 01:10:32,909 --> 01:10:34,570 I love it. I mean, they're so cute. 1688 01:10:34,644 --> 01:10:36,236 Like, the other day, Henry came in 1689 01:10:36,312 --> 01:10:38,780 and he had his little top hat on and said, 1690 01:10:38,848 --> 01:10:40,179 "I'm the mayor of the kitchen." 1691 01:10:40,249 --> 01:10:41,841 Oh, he's gonna be the mayor? 1692 01:10:41,951 --> 01:10:44,283 Just out of nowhere he got this idea he wanted to be the mayor. 1693 01:10:44,353 --> 01:10:45,980 And then he came in and he said, 1694 01:10:46,055 --> 01:10:49,354 "And here is a proclamation. You cannot use the 'frigerator." 1695 01:10:49,425 --> 01:10:53,122 And he had a sash on. I think I have a picture of it. 1696 01:10:53,195 --> 01:10:55,925 Yeah. I mean, I'm biased, but he's very creative. 1697 01:10:57,533 --> 01:10:59,057 I'm going to step out for a bit 1698 01:10:59,135 --> 01:11:00,625 and get some milk for the morning. 1699 01:11:00,703 --> 01:11:03,570 Don't, Jack. We both know that's not true. 1700 01:11:05,308 --> 01:11:07,572 I don't know why I still think I can get anything by you. 1701 01:11:08,210 --> 01:11:09,199 Mmm. 1702 01:11:10,446 --> 01:11:12,880 I'm going to find Greg. I'm going to bring him home. 1703 01:11:12,949 --> 01:11:13,973 You know where he is? 1704 01:11:14,050 --> 01:11:15,074 I have an idea. 1705 01:11:16,385 --> 01:11:19,843 And for the record, nothing ever happened with Aatukka Kokkonen. 1706 01:11:21,457 --> 01:11:22,446 ANDI: Aw. 1707 01:11:22,558 --> 01:11:25,493 GREG: And this is the play that she wrote called Tropical Seas. 1708 01:11:25,561 --> 01:11:26,892 They're so cute. 1709 01:11:26,963 --> 01:11:28,260 Yeah. They really are. 1710 01:11:30,232 --> 01:11:31,392 That's you! 1711 01:11:31,467 --> 01:11:33,594 Yes. I am an algae-seaweed-type plant. 1712 01:11:34,370 --> 01:11:35,860 You know, I got to go home. 1713 01:11:35,938 --> 01:11:37,929 Yeah, I totally get that. 1714 01:11:38,941 --> 01:11:40,238 (GRUNTING) 1715 01:11:40,676 --> 01:11:41,904 (EXCLAIMS) 1716 01:11:41,978 --> 01:11:43,605 Andi, Andi, no, no, no. 1717 01:11:43,679 --> 01:11:44,703 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 1718 01:11:44,780 --> 01:11:45,906 Andi, I think I gave you the wrong idea. No... 1719 01:12:13,075 --> 01:12:14,633 Greg, ever since we tag-teamed on that enema, 1720 01:12:14,710 --> 01:12:15,802 I've wanted you. 1721 01:12:15,878 --> 01:12:19,712 It was just an enema. Really, I think you're idealizing the enema. 1722 01:12:19,782 --> 01:12:22,148 Andi, you know what, I think you might have had a little too much wine. 1723 01:12:22,218 --> 01:12:26,416 Wine is fine, papi! I took a few Sustengo. 1724 01:12:26,489 --> 01:12:28,719 You took a Sustengo? Why would you do that? 1725 01:12:30,326 --> 01:12:31,588 That's crazy. I'm gonna call a cab. 1726 01:12:35,731 --> 01:12:37,790 Can I see more pictures of your kids? 1727 01:12:38,934 --> 01:12:42,370 Definitely not. You can't... You got to put your thing back on. 1728 01:12:42,438 --> 01:12:43,803 Don't be a grumpy daddy! 1729 01:12:43,873 --> 01:12:45,568 I'm not being a grumpy... You got to... 1730 01:12:45,641 --> 01:12:46,699 (GROWLS) (LOUD THUDDING) 1731 01:13:11,867 --> 01:13:14,199 No, Andi! Andi, give me the phone! 1732 01:13:14,270 --> 01:13:15,999 You want it? I do want it. 1733 01:13:16,072 --> 01:13:17,232 Come and get it. I want... I... 1734 01:13:18,908 --> 01:13:20,671 Andi, it's not funny. (EXCLAIMING) 1735 01:13:21,010 --> 01:13:22,910 Let's go swimming! 1736 01:13:22,978 --> 01:13:24,104 Andi, no, it's not a pool. 1737 01:13:24,180 --> 01:13:26,273 Is it heated? Is there a grotto? 1738 01:13:26,348 --> 01:13:28,578 No, no, it's a pit! Andi, don't do this. 1739 01:13:28,651 --> 01:13:30,846 Come on! Put your clothes back on. All right? 1740 01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:33,081 Andi, no! That's not nice! 1741 01:13:33,155 --> 01:13:35,419 You don't throw people's phones in pits, okay? 1742 01:13:35,491 --> 01:13:36,583 You're mean! 1743 01:13:36,659 --> 01:13:38,058 Andi, put the clothes back on! Come on! 1744 01:13:38,127 --> 01:13:39,492 I hate you! 1745 01:13:40,162 --> 01:13:41,459 (SCREAMS) 1746 01:13:42,098 --> 01:13:43,827 Belly flop! 1747 01:13:45,101 --> 01:13:46,159 (SCREAMING) 1748 01:13:50,206 --> 01:13:51,503 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1749 01:14:01,517 --> 01:14:02,848 (CHILDREN CHATTERING) 1750 01:14:06,422 --> 01:14:07,787 You really don't know where Greg is? 1751 01:14:07,857 --> 01:14:10,417 Honey, I struck out. 1752 01:14:10,493 --> 01:14:13,018 I guess my skills just aren't what they used to be. 1753 01:14:13,095 --> 01:14:14,528 Look who it is. There they are! 1754 01:14:14,597 --> 01:14:15,586 Hey, Kevin! 1755 01:14:15,664 --> 01:14:17,564 Kevin. Quite a shindig. 1756 01:14:17,633 --> 01:14:19,760 Well, you only turn five once. 1757 01:14:19,835 --> 01:14:21,097 Or twice, in this case. 1758 01:14:21,537 --> 01:14:24,199 Now, I've got a little surprise for you, Jack. Gustavo? 1759 01:14:26,242 --> 01:14:27,539 Is that who I think it is? 1760 01:14:27,610 --> 01:14:28,838 KEVIN: You'd better believe it. 1761 01:14:28,911 --> 01:14:30,105 Jinxy! 1762 01:14:30,179 --> 01:14:32,010 When I heard about your health issues last night, 1763 01:14:32,081 --> 01:14:33,878 I knew I had to fly him out here. 1764 01:14:33,949 --> 01:14:36,315 Kevin, incredibly thoughtful of you. Thank you. 1765 01:14:36,418 --> 01:14:38,511 How come Daddy's not here? 1766 01:14:38,587 --> 01:14:40,748 Is it because I was mean to him? 1767 01:14:40,823 --> 01:14:43,690 No, honey, absolutely not, sweetheart. 1768 01:14:43,759 --> 01:14:45,954 It's because Grandpa was mean to him. 1769 01:14:46,028 --> 01:14:49,361 But he's coming! He's coming. He will be here, okay? 1770 01:14:49,431 --> 01:14:51,399 So, let's go have some more fun. 1771 01:14:51,467 --> 01:14:53,594 All right? Let's go. Let's go see what else there is. 1772 01:14:59,809 --> 01:15:01,174 BERNIE: Just wait one sec! 1773 01:15:02,745 --> 01:15:03,871 Gay! 1774 01:15:10,719 --> 01:15:11,845 Gay! 1775 01:15:14,523 --> 01:15:15,581 Gay? 1776 01:15:16,792 --> 01:15:18,316 Dad. What's that hole? 1777 01:15:18,394 --> 01:15:20,794 Why are you so muddy? Where is everyone? 1778 01:15:20,863 --> 01:15:22,160 They're at Kevin's. 1779 01:15:22,231 --> 01:15:23,823 The party's over at Kevin's. I got to get over there. 1780 01:15:23,899 --> 01:15:25,867 The kids' party's at Kevin's? I thought you were in Spain. 1781 01:15:25,935 --> 01:15:29,029 I was, but I can't miss my little gazugas turning five. 1782 01:15:29,104 --> 01:15:30,230 How are you? 1783 01:15:30,306 --> 01:15:32,866 Hey! Oh, man. I'm so sorry. 1784 01:15:33,943 --> 01:15:36,707 I was so messed up last night. 1785 01:15:38,814 --> 01:15:39,872 Who's that? 1786 01:15:39,949 --> 01:15:41,246 That is... Dad, that's Andi Garcia. 1787 01:15:41,350 --> 01:15:42,749 Oh. She's a work colleague of mine. 1788 01:15:42,818 --> 01:15:44,183 Oh, hi, Dad! 1789 01:15:44,253 --> 01:15:46,414 Yeah. She took a few too many prescription pills 1790 01:15:46,488 --> 01:15:47,614 and then she pushed me in the pit. 1791 01:15:47,690 --> 01:15:50,022 Total party foul. My bad on that one. 1792 01:15:50,092 --> 01:15:51,525 Garcia? Is that Spanish? 1793 01:15:51,594 --> 01:15:52,618 Okay, we got to go. 1794 01:15:52,695 --> 01:15:53,787 Yeah. My grandparents are from Seville. 1795 01:15:53,863 --> 01:15:57,162 Are you kidding? I was just in Seville, mastering the flamenco! 1796 01:15:57,233 --> 01:15:58,325 No way! Dad. 1797 01:15:58,400 --> 01:15:59,833 What? But I got to show her a few moves. 1798 01:15:59,902 --> 01:16:01,267 Her grandparents are from Seville. 1799 01:16:01,337 --> 01:16:02,804 Dad, no, no! Dad, I got to go! Okay. 1800 01:16:02,872 --> 01:16:03,861 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1801 01:16:05,074 --> 01:16:06,063 (EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH) 1802 01:16:07,543 --> 01:16:08,840 Your dad's really good. 1803 01:16:08,911 --> 01:16:11,209 The faster you go indicates an increase in sexual prowess. 1804 01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:12,440 Andi, good luck. 1805 01:16:12,514 --> 01:16:14,038 (BOTH BIDDING FAREWELL IN SPANISH) 1806 01:16:16,185 --> 01:16:19,052 It's a good thing you pulled me away. I was starting to get a semi. 1807 01:16:19,121 --> 01:16:20,679 Oh, Dad, please. It's involuntary. 1808 01:16:20,756 --> 01:16:24,283 It's the parasympathetic nervous system. Flamenco's very sexual. 1809 01:16:24,827 --> 01:16:26,488 Well, just so you know, nothing happened with her. 1810 01:16:26,562 --> 01:16:29,360 I know that. We're Fockers. That's not the way we roll. 1811 01:16:29,431 --> 01:16:32,457 But I know something went down with the family. You okay? 1812 01:16:32,534 --> 01:16:36,231 Yeah, just the usual Jack stuff. You okay? 1813 01:16:36,305 --> 01:16:39,468 Your mom was right. Man-opause. Makes me act like a lunatic. 1814 01:16:39,541 --> 01:16:41,441 You know, I get a little nutty. 1815 01:16:42,878 --> 01:16:44,573 Grandma Roz! Grandma Roz! 1816 01:16:44,647 --> 01:16:45,705 My God. 1817 01:16:45,781 --> 01:16:50,047 There she is! My little scrunchie-munchie. Let me look at you, baby. 1818 01:16:50,586 --> 01:16:53,749 Oh, you look so cute. Do you mind if we sit down, honey? 1819 01:16:53,822 --> 01:16:56,416 Have a little chat. 'Cause Grandma's feet hurt. 1820 01:16:56,859 --> 01:17:01,558 So, I hear you're not speaking to your father. 1821 01:17:01,630 --> 01:17:03,257 Is that true? 1822 01:17:03,332 --> 01:17:06,790 Well, let me tell you something about men, Samantha. 1823 01:17:07,336 --> 01:17:12,273 They... They... They're told to be tough and hard, you know? 1824 01:17:12,341 --> 01:17:16,209 But inside, they're quite soft and gooey. 1825 01:17:16,946 --> 01:17:19,210 Kind of like a cannoli. 1826 01:17:20,482 --> 01:17:22,712 A knish? It's not exactly that. 1827 01:17:22,785 --> 01:17:26,414 It's more like peanut butter and jelly inside burnt toast. 1828 01:17:26,689 --> 01:17:28,179 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1829 01:17:28,991 --> 01:17:31,755 And once you know that, you can cut them a little slack. 1830 01:17:32,027 --> 01:17:33,324 Besides, you'll have plenty of time 1831 01:17:33,395 --> 01:17:34,657 to aggravate him in your teens. 1832 01:17:34,730 --> 01:17:35,958 Grandma! 1833 01:17:36,031 --> 01:17:38,829 Hi, honey! Look at you, how big you got! 1834 01:17:38,901 --> 01:17:40,368 Hi, sweetheart. 1835 01:17:40,436 --> 01:17:43,371 Come here and give me a Focker sandwich. Okay, I'm the cheese. 1836 01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:45,066 We're cheese! I'm the cheese. 1837 01:17:45,140 --> 01:17:47,040 No, I'm the cheese and you're the bread. 1838 01:17:47,109 --> 01:17:48,440 We're sourdough. 1839 01:17:48,877 --> 01:17:51,471 Attention! Attention! 1840 01:17:58,387 --> 01:17:59,684 (CROWD CHEERING) 1841 01:18:06,862 --> 01:18:09,990 Henry and Samantha! Today you are five! 1842 01:18:16,005 --> 01:18:17,768 This way. Okay, thank you. 1843 01:18:21,910 --> 01:18:22,968 Dad. 1844 01:18:23,545 --> 01:18:24,876 Yeah. You coming? 1845 01:18:24,947 --> 01:18:26,414 Yeah. I just want to practice the dance 1846 01:18:26,482 --> 01:18:27,881 I'm gonna surprise your mother with. 1847 01:18:27,950 --> 01:18:28,939 Go ahead. 1848 01:18:29,018 --> 01:18:30,076 Okay. I'll see you down there. 1849 01:18:30,152 --> 01:18:31,244 Gay? 1850 01:18:32,154 --> 01:18:34,384 My two cents. The way to deal with Jack, 1851 01:18:34,456 --> 01:18:37,152 no matter what he does, just smother that guy with kisses. 1852 01:18:37,226 --> 01:18:38,250 He'll be putty in your hands. 1853 01:18:38,327 --> 01:18:39,316 Good. 1854 01:18:39,395 --> 01:18:41,022 Love, love, love. Good, putty, thank you. 1855 01:18:41,096 --> 01:18:42,563 Oh, Gay. Yes. 1856 01:18:44,299 --> 01:18:45,391 You look good. 1857 01:18:45,467 --> 01:18:46,491 Thank you. 1858 01:18:47,770 --> 01:18:48,964 All right. 1859 01:18:52,808 --> 01:18:54,207 Can you do me a favor? Okay. 1860 01:18:54,276 --> 01:18:57,370 Can you just put this leg down slowly? It's an old sex injury. 1861 01:18:57,446 --> 01:18:58,504 Like this? Yeah. 1862 01:19:01,617 --> 01:19:02,606 Oh, my gosh. 1863 01:19:04,386 --> 01:19:06,877 This performance is my gift to you! 1864 01:19:07,656 --> 01:19:09,055 You are the chosen ones! 1865 01:19:09,124 --> 01:19:10,113 Pam. 1866 01:19:12,494 --> 01:19:14,018 Pam! Greg. 1867 01:19:14,096 --> 01:19:16,087 KEVIN: I pronounce this your day! 1868 01:19:16,165 --> 01:19:17,496 Oh, what happened to you? 1869 01:19:17,566 --> 01:19:19,158 Oh, it's... I... 1870 01:19:20,602 --> 01:19:22,331 I'll tell you about it later, okay? 1871 01:19:22,404 --> 01:19:24,429 Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. 1872 01:19:24,506 --> 01:19:25,666 I just... I'm sorry, too. 1873 01:19:25,741 --> 01:19:28,232 I let everything get out of control and I shouldn't have. 1874 01:19:28,310 --> 01:19:29,937 It's just... It's just your dad. 1875 01:19:30,012 --> 01:19:31,877 You know, I... I know. He's insane. 1876 01:19:32,881 --> 01:19:34,815 Yes. Yes. 1877 01:19:36,118 --> 01:19:38,643 Listen to me. We've got our own thing and it works. 1878 01:19:39,721 --> 01:19:40,881 It does, right? 1879 01:19:40,956 --> 01:19:43,220 Yeah, we actually kind of know what we're doing. 1880 01:19:43,292 --> 01:19:44,953 I love you. I love you. 1881 01:19:49,131 --> 01:19:51,531 Hey, Sam! Happy birthday. 1882 01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:53,158 Look, I know you don't want to talk to me. 1883 01:19:53,235 --> 01:19:54,998 I just want you to know that's okay. 1884 01:19:55,070 --> 01:19:56,935 I love you anyway. 1885 01:19:57,005 --> 01:19:58,029 I know, Daddy. 1886 01:20:02,277 --> 01:20:03,301 Dad! 1887 01:20:03,378 --> 01:20:04,402 There he is! 1888 01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:06,414 Hey, happy birthday, man! 1889 01:20:06,482 --> 01:20:08,541 Hey, look, I think you left something at home. 1890 01:20:10,385 --> 01:20:11,477 Arthur! 1891 01:20:11,553 --> 01:20:13,350 Yeah. Thanks, Dad. 1892 01:20:13,422 --> 01:20:14,548 (ALL GASPING) 1893 01:20:19,962 --> 01:20:21,395 It's so beautiful. 1894 01:20:25,234 --> 01:20:26,223 (SCREAMS) 1895 01:20:26,301 --> 01:20:27,325 Oh, my God. 1896 01:20:27,402 --> 01:20:28,426 Oh, gosh. 1897 01:20:31,940 --> 01:20:33,271 I'm all right. 1898 01:20:33,342 --> 01:20:37,176 Gustavo! Birthday cake! Birthday cake! Try the birthday cake. 1899 01:20:37,813 --> 01:20:39,576 There's 36 different kinds! 1900 01:20:48,357 --> 01:20:49,381 Kevin? 1901 01:20:49,458 --> 01:20:50,447 Rosalind. 1902 01:20:51,693 --> 01:20:54,218 What a mitzvah that you could make it to the party. 1903 01:20:55,097 --> 01:20:56,223 What's wrong, honey? 1904 01:20:56,665 --> 01:20:57,859 I wish I knew. 1905 01:20:57,933 --> 01:20:59,332 Come. Sit down. 1906 01:21:01,937 --> 01:21:05,600 Look over this way a little bit. And a little up. Up. 1907 01:21:06,875 --> 01:21:08,240 Hey, Jack. 1908 01:21:09,945 --> 01:21:12,072 Wow, that's great. That's a great likeness. 1909 01:21:13,615 --> 01:21:15,139 That's really... 1910 01:21:15,217 --> 01:21:18,050 It really captured the intensity and looks just like you. 1911 01:21:18,921 --> 01:21:20,183 All right. So, look, last night, 1912 01:21:20,255 --> 01:21:22,314 I think we both said some things we regret. 1913 01:21:22,391 --> 01:21:25,451 Maybe I shouldn't have said anything about Dr. Bob. 1914 01:21:25,928 --> 01:21:28,988 But then you did that whole course-correction thing. So... 1915 01:21:29,064 --> 01:21:32,465 Anyway, "peace" of cake offering. 1916 01:21:37,139 --> 01:21:38,128 (GRUNTS) 1917 01:21:39,441 --> 01:21:40,567 What the hell? 1918 01:21:43,712 --> 01:21:44,838 Oh, shit. 1919 01:21:45,681 --> 01:21:47,444 Jack, you all right? Jack, I'm sorry. 1920 01:21:47,950 --> 01:21:49,144 Jack, you okay? 1921 01:21:50,686 --> 01:21:54,588 Okay, Focker. At least you're going to make this a little fun. 1922 01:21:56,225 --> 01:21:58,716 Jack. Let's not do this. Come on. 1923 01:21:59,261 --> 01:22:01,593 We've had this date since the beginning, Greg. 1924 01:22:02,130 --> 01:22:03,119 (GROANS) 1925 01:22:04,967 --> 01:22:07,299 All right. Let's dance. 1926 01:22:08,170 --> 01:22:09,398 Come on, man. 1927 01:22:11,006 --> 01:22:12,871 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1928 01:22:29,725 --> 01:22:30,987 Jack? 1929 01:22:40,168 --> 01:22:41,726 Where are you? Jack! 1930 01:22:45,374 --> 01:22:46,500 Jack? 1931 01:22:53,048 --> 01:22:57,485 Get out of the ball pit! Get out of the ball pit! Get out! 1932 01:22:57,853 --> 01:22:58,979 Let's go. 1933 01:22:59,054 --> 01:23:00,988 Get out! Get out of the ball pit! 1934 01:23:01,356 --> 01:23:02,550 Get out! 1935 01:23:02,958 --> 01:23:04,186 (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 1936 01:23:05,127 --> 01:23:06,219 Jack? 1937 01:23:11,466 --> 01:23:12,763 (SCREAMING) 1938 01:23:13,735 --> 01:23:15,032 (GRUNTING) 1939 01:23:17,372 --> 01:23:19,772 I saw you last night with Andi Garcia! 1940 01:23:20,809 --> 01:23:22,037 Nothing happened! 1941 01:23:24,313 --> 01:23:25,803 I've been in the wild for so long, 1942 01:23:25,881 --> 01:23:27,348 that maybe it's time to come home. 1943 01:23:27,416 --> 01:23:28,940 But then where is home? 1944 01:23:29,017 --> 01:23:31,679 Honey, home is inside of you. 1945 01:23:31,753 --> 01:23:35,450 What you have been seeking out there is right in here. 1946 01:23:35,957 --> 01:23:37,686 In your heart? No, in your heart. 1947 01:23:37,759 --> 01:23:38,783 In my heart. 1948 01:23:38,860 --> 01:23:39,952 Yes, yes, Kevin. 1949 01:23:40,529 --> 01:23:41,860 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1950 01:23:57,412 --> 01:23:58,640 Suck it! 1951 01:23:58,980 --> 01:24:00,004 (GROANS) 1952 01:24:01,583 --> 01:24:06,043 Arthur? Arthur? Mom! Arthur's missing! 1953 01:24:22,337 --> 01:24:24,237 Jack! Nothing happened. 1954 01:24:25,774 --> 01:24:27,674 What'd you say? Jack, nothing happened. 1955 01:24:27,743 --> 01:24:29,335 I'm telling you the truth. 1956 01:24:30,379 --> 01:24:31,676 Oh, shit. 1957 01:24:34,716 --> 01:24:37,583 Jinxy! Jinxy! Bad cat! Bad cat! 1958 01:24:38,387 --> 01:24:40,048 Jinx! Bad cat! 1959 01:24:40,989 --> 01:24:42,183 Jinx! 1960 01:24:43,759 --> 01:24:45,226 Jinx! Jinx! 1961 01:24:46,194 --> 01:24:47,456 Oh, shit. 1962 01:24:48,196 --> 01:24:51,165 Kevin, you are a lovely young man 1963 01:24:51,233 --> 01:24:55,067 with a number of unusual fixations and hobbies. 1964 01:24:55,137 --> 01:24:56,126 Thank you. 1965 01:24:56,204 --> 01:24:57,330 I know you're going to find your way. 1966 01:24:57,406 --> 01:25:00,068 Trust me, honey. Because you have the strength of a lion 1967 01:25:00,142 --> 01:25:02,042 and the soul of a poet. 1968 01:25:04,079 --> 01:25:05,273 (MUFFLED SCREAMING) 1969 01:25:06,882 --> 01:25:08,042 BERNIE: Roz? 1970 01:25:09,418 --> 01:25:11,818 Bernie? What are you doing here? 1971 01:25:13,155 --> 01:25:14,349 What are you doing here? 1972 01:25:14,423 --> 01:25:15,549 The guy has issues, honey. 1973 01:25:15,624 --> 01:25:18,092 Bernard, I swear this isn't what it looks like. 1974 01:25:18,160 --> 01:25:20,788 Your wife was comforting me in a moment of distress 1975 01:25:20,862 --> 01:25:22,887 and my soul just reached out to her. 1976 01:25:22,964 --> 01:25:24,226 Your soul or your tongue? 1977 01:25:24,299 --> 01:25:25,561 No. There was no tongue involved. 1978 01:25:25,634 --> 01:25:26,862 There was a little. 1979 01:25:26,935 --> 01:25:28,266 Thank you for your honesty. 1980 01:25:28,336 --> 01:25:31,271 I thought you were in Spain, honey. What happened? 1981 01:25:31,339 --> 01:25:32,397 What happened? 1982 01:25:32,474 --> 01:25:35,204 I went halfway around the world to master the flamenco, 1983 01:25:35,277 --> 01:25:37,006 but there was one thing missing, 1984 01:25:37,779 --> 01:25:39,212 my dance partner. 1985 01:25:39,748 --> 01:25:41,113 Oh, Bernie. 1986 01:25:41,483 --> 01:25:42,882 You're my true north. 1987 01:25:43,652 --> 01:25:46,086 I know as long as we're together, I'll never get lost. 1988 01:25:46,154 --> 01:25:48,452 Oh, what a beautiful line. 1989 01:25:48,957 --> 01:25:50,288 Come here, baby. 1990 01:25:51,193 --> 01:25:54,788 That's beautiful. So raw, this electricity... 1991 01:25:54,863 --> 01:25:57,354 Will you get out of here so I can shtup my wife? 1992 01:25:57,432 --> 01:25:58,456 Shtup her? Yeah, sure. 1993 01:25:59,568 --> 01:26:00,694 GREG: Jinx! 1994 01:26:00,769 --> 01:26:02,566 HENRY: Grandpa! Grandpa! What's wrong? 1995 01:26:03,438 --> 01:26:04,496 Jack? 1996 01:26:04,573 --> 01:26:06,404 Jack. Jack. 1997 01:26:06,475 --> 01:26:07,499 Jack. 1998 01:26:08,176 --> 01:26:09,438 Honey. Greg, do something. 1999 01:26:09,511 --> 01:26:11,001 Okay. Having some chest pain? Yeah. 2000 01:26:11,079 --> 01:26:12,740 All right. Just relax. I'm gonna check you out. 2001 01:26:12,814 --> 01:26:14,281 What's wrong with Grandpa? 2002 01:26:14,349 --> 01:26:15,782 PAM: He's gonna be fine, honey. 2003 01:26:15,851 --> 01:26:18,820 Okay, I'm here. Okay. 2004 01:26:18,887 --> 01:26:20,946 Jack, you have your nitro tabs with you? 2005 01:26:21,022 --> 01:26:22,887 Greg, he's not responding to my treatment. 2006 01:26:22,958 --> 01:26:26,359 Really? To you waving your hands over him? He's not a Ouija board, Kevin. 2007 01:26:26,428 --> 01:26:27,554 Pam? Call 911. 2008 01:26:27,629 --> 01:26:28,687 Okay. 2009 01:26:28,763 --> 01:26:30,697 Kevin, can you go up to the house, see if you have some aspirin? 2010 01:26:30,765 --> 01:26:31,789 Aspirin. 2011 01:26:31,867 --> 01:26:32,959 It's all right. 2012 01:26:34,069 --> 01:26:35,195 Jinx! 2013 01:26:41,142 --> 01:26:42,632 Arthur! Wow. 2014 01:26:43,512 --> 01:26:44,911 Thanks, Dad. 2015 01:26:46,548 --> 01:26:47,742 (SIREN WAILING) 2016 01:26:47,816 --> 01:26:50,307 Just relax, Jack. It's going to be okay. 2017 01:26:50,385 --> 01:26:51,852 Breathe, breathe. 2018 01:26:52,654 --> 01:26:53,985 I promise. 2019 01:26:55,824 --> 01:26:57,416 Is he taking any other medications? 2020 01:27:00,128 --> 01:27:02,153 Just the 324 milligrams of aspirin 2021 01:27:02,230 --> 01:27:03,925 I gave him about 15 minutes ago. 2022 01:27:03,999 --> 01:27:06,467 Thank you, nurse. You did good. We'll take it from here. 2023 01:27:06,535 --> 01:27:08,059 By the way, how'd you guys come by 2024 01:27:08,136 --> 01:27:09,626 all these bruises and lacerations? 2025 01:27:09,704 --> 01:27:11,899 Oh, it's a long story. 2026 01:27:11,973 --> 01:27:14,806 We were in the bouncy castle, and then he tripped, and... 2027 01:27:14,876 --> 01:27:17,572 I get it. My father-in-law tripped 2028 01:27:17,646 --> 01:27:20,308 through a plate glass window at my wedding last year. 2029 01:27:21,116 --> 01:27:22,242 All right. Let's get him loaded up. 2030 01:27:23,618 --> 01:27:25,279 Don't worry. We'll take care of your husband. 2031 01:27:25,353 --> 01:27:27,878 We're gonna follow behind you in the car. All right? 2032 01:27:28,523 --> 01:27:29,512 Greg. 2033 01:27:30,959 --> 01:27:33,985 I know you were telling the truth about Andi, Greg. 2034 01:27:34,062 --> 01:27:35,620 Really? Yeah. 2035 01:27:36,464 --> 01:27:38,989 The pulse on your carotid artery remained steady 2036 01:27:39,067 --> 01:27:40,534 as you pleaded your innocence. 2037 01:27:41,503 --> 01:27:42,868 Right, of course. 2038 01:27:43,905 --> 01:27:45,668 And, Greg. Yeah. 2039 01:27:45,740 --> 01:27:49,574 It was never going to be Dr. Bob. It was you. 2040 01:27:50,445 --> 01:27:51,503 It was always you. 2041 01:27:51,580 --> 01:27:53,980 You just relax and stay quiet, Mr. Byrnes. 2042 01:27:54,049 --> 01:27:55,676 I'll see you over there. Okay? 2043 01:27:55,750 --> 01:27:57,217 (MUFFLED) ...Focker. 2044 01:27:57,686 --> 01:27:58,983 Why is he cursing at us? 2045 01:27:59,054 --> 01:28:00,715 Hey, we are trying to help you, sir. 2046 01:28:00,789 --> 01:28:02,381 What? What? 2047 01:28:05,060 --> 01:28:06,960 You're the Greg Focker. 2048 01:28:07,362 --> 01:28:08,954 I'm sorry, what? 2049 01:28:09,531 --> 01:28:12,932 You're the... You're the Greg Focker. 2050 01:28:16,338 --> 01:28:18,101 I'm the Greg Focker. 2051 01:28:24,179 --> 01:28:27,012 Okay. Okay. 2052 01:28:28,483 --> 01:28:29,507 Okay. 2053 01:28:29,584 --> 01:28:31,211 EMT: Let's get him up. 2054 01:28:51,673 --> 01:28:52,970 (ALL CHATTERING) 2055 01:28:57,145 --> 01:28:58,544 BERNIE: One more. I need more. I need more. 2056 01:28:58,613 --> 01:28:59,671 One more, one more. 2057 01:28:59,748 --> 01:29:00,772 No, I need more. 2058 01:29:01,282 --> 01:29:02,510 Another present. BERNIE: Here. 2059 01:29:02,651 --> 01:29:03,879 Best Chistmakkah ever. 2060 01:29:04,452 --> 01:29:05,783 This is a very special gift, guys. 2061 01:29:05,854 --> 01:29:06,946 HENRY: One more, cool! 2062 01:29:07,589 --> 01:29:09,022 What is it, Grandpa Bernie? 2063 01:29:09,090 --> 01:29:10,751 I've had it with me my entire life. 2064 01:29:10,825 --> 01:29:12,918 It's my own original whoopee cushion. 2065 01:29:12,994 --> 01:29:14,825 What does it do? Are you kidding me? 2066 01:29:14,896 --> 01:29:16,363 Jack, lift up your leg. 2067 01:29:18,033 --> 01:29:19,330 Jack, come on. 2068 01:29:20,368 --> 01:29:21,630 (MIMICS FARTING) 2069 01:29:21,970 --> 01:29:23,198 (ALL LAUGHING) 2070 01:29:23,271 --> 01:29:24,761 ROZ: Disgusting! 2071 01:29:24,839 --> 01:29:26,101 It farts! 2072 01:29:26,775 --> 01:29:29,710 Jack, we have to laugh at the stuff that makes us human, right? 2073 01:29:29,778 --> 01:29:31,973 Gas, burps. Picking noses? 2074 01:29:32,280 --> 01:29:34,578 You kids want to pick your nose and flick your boogers, do it. 2075 01:29:34,649 --> 01:29:35,707 Hey, Bernie. 2076 01:29:35,784 --> 01:29:37,251 But do it only when it's dry. 2077 01:29:37,318 --> 01:29:38,717 Don't do a wet one. I have something for Jack. 2078 01:29:38,787 --> 01:29:39,776 Take that to your room. 2079 01:29:39,854 --> 01:29:40,843 It's what makes life, life! 2080 01:29:40,922 --> 01:29:42,514 I know. I know. Here, Jack, 2081 01:29:42,590 --> 01:29:45,582 this is a little something from Bernie and me to you. 2082 01:29:45,660 --> 01:29:47,127 Oh, how thoughtful. Thank you. 2083 01:29:47,195 --> 01:29:48,685 It is a very thoughtful gift. 2084 01:29:48,763 --> 01:29:49,752 It was your idea. 2085 01:29:49,831 --> 01:29:50,957 I know. 2086 01:29:51,466 --> 01:29:52,899 What's this? ROZ: What is that? 2087 01:29:52,967 --> 01:29:55,527 That is your own personal yarmulke! 2088 01:29:56,004 --> 01:29:57,062 Jack. 2089 01:29:57,138 --> 01:29:58,605 One of those little Jewish hats. 2090 01:29:59,374 --> 01:30:00,602 ROZ: Cute. 2091 01:30:00,675 --> 01:30:03,041 BERNIE: We know that you're into that genealogy stuff. 2092 01:30:03,111 --> 01:30:05,136 So, when I was nursing you back to health, 2093 01:30:05,213 --> 01:30:07,477 I took the opportunity, when you were taking a nap, 2094 01:30:07,549 --> 01:30:09,278 of snipping a couple of your pubes 2095 01:30:09,350 --> 01:30:12,046 and I sent it to one of those DNA testing sites. 2096 01:30:12,120 --> 01:30:13,178 You did what? 2097 01:30:13,254 --> 01:30:16,189 We thought it'd be fun to trace your lineage all the way back. 2098 01:30:16,257 --> 01:30:18,282 BERNIE: Yes. And it turns out, Jack T. Byrnes, 2099 01:30:18,359 --> 01:30:20,452 that you are one twenty-third Israelite! 2100 01:30:21,029 --> 01:30:23,122 Welcome to the tribe, Jack! 2101 01:30:23,198 --> 01:30:25,666 While I dispute the findings, I appreciate the gesture. 2102 01:30:25,734 --> 01:30:26,928 Thank you, Bernard, Roz. 2103 01:30:27,001 --> 01:30:28,127 You're welcome, Ya'akov. 2104 01:30:28,203 --> 01:30:29,727 Your Hebrew name. Ya'akov. 2105 01:30:29,804 --> 01:30:31,237 BERNIE: Ya'akov. Ya'akov. 2106 01:30:31,306 --> 01:30:32,432 BERNIE: Two A's. 2107 01:30:32,507 --> 01:30:34,372 Well, listen, Greg, we're in your home 2108 01:30:35,310 --> 01:30:37,938 and you're in charge here, so why don't you lead us in a toast? 2109 01:30:38,012 --> 01:30:39,536 Right. 2110 01:30:39,614 --> 01:30:42,082 Honestly, Jack, I have no desire 2111 01:30:42,150 --> 01:30:43,208 to try and sound like I am 2112 01:30:43,284 --> 01:30:45,775 in any way in charge of anything in this house. 2113 01:30:46,321 --> 01:30:48,983 But I do love our family very, very much. 2114 01:30:49,057 --> 01:30:53,721 And I'm really happy that we can all be here together for the weekend. 2115 01:30:54,629 --> 01:30:57,689 Then we'll part ways and you guys will return to your homes 2116 01:30:57,766 --> 01:30:59,358 in your own respective states. Cheers. 2117 01:30:59,434 --> 01:31:00,696 Cheers. Cheers. 2118 01:31:00,769 --> 01:31:03,897 Actually, sweetheart, your dad and I have a little... 2119 01:31:03,972 --> 01:31:06,167 Gaylord, we're moving to Chicago. 2120 01:31:07,408 --> 01:31:09,376 No, we're serious. We sold Focker Isle. 2121 01:31:09,444 --> 01:31:12,379 We just bought the house two doors down. Isn't that great? 2122 01:31:12,447 --> 01:31:14,506 No, that's not great. Oh, no, if they're moving here, 2123 01:31:14,582 --> 01:31:15,844 then we're moving here. Good! 2124 01:31:15,917 --> 01:31:17,077 We'll live together, one big happy family. 2125 01:31:17,152 --> 01:31:18,210 We should discuss this. 2126 01:31:18,286 --> 01:31:20,254 No. No. No. Jack, 2127 01:31:20,321 --> 01:31:22,221 nobody's moving because nobody's moving. Right? 2128 01:31:22,290 --> 01:31:24,850 BERNIE: How else are the kids gonna be Fockerized if we don't live here? 2129 01:31:24,926 --> 01:31:27,156 No. Nobody's going to be Fockerized. 2130 01:31:27,228 --> 01:31:28,695 No. Why not? 2131 01:31:31,132 --> 01:31:34,295 This Google is a wonderful tool, Jinxy cat. 2132 01:31:35,837 --> 01:31:38,829 Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to do a search on myself. 2133 01:31:56,791 --> 01:31:57,951 Come on. Who needs something like this? 2134 01:31:58,026 --> 01:32:01,154 Who's the target demo for a drug like Sustengo? 2135 01:32:01,229 --> 01:32:04,096 And I got to say it's somebody like my father-in-law. 2136 01:32:04,165 --> 01:32:07,191 His name is Jack Byrnes. You know, he had a heart attack 2137 01:32:07,268 --> 01:32:10,829 and he called me up, he said, "Greg, I've had a heart attack." 2138 01:32:10,905 --> 01:32:12,133 Now, I said, "First of all, Jack, 2139 01:32:12,207 --> 01:32:13,902 "don't you have to have a heart to get one of those?" 2140 01:32:13,975 --> 01:32:15,135 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 2141 01:32:15,210 --> 01:32:18,270 First weekend I ever met him, he said to me, he said, 2142 01:32:18,346 --> 01:32:23,443 "Hey, listen, keep your snake in its cage for the next 72 hours." 2143 01:32:24,052 --> 01:32:25,144 I didn't say it like that. 2144 01:32:25,220 --> 01:32:27,085 All right. Maybe somebody's had their snake 2145 01:32:27,155 --> 01:32:29,749 in their cage for about 30 years! Okay. 2146 01:32:33,161 --> 01:32:34,822 Remix. What's a remix? 2147 01:32:34,896 --> 01:32:36,887 You know, the guy is definitely obsessed... (RAP SONG PLAYING) 2148 01:32:36,998 --> 01:32:38,693 GREG: (RAPPING) Byrnes, Jack Byrnes 2149 01:32:38,766 --> 01:32:40,324 My father-in-law My father-in-law 2150 01:32:40,401 --> 01:32:42,301 Byrnes, Jack Byrnes 2151 01:32:42,370 --> 01:32:44,235 Candidate for the drug Obsessed with sex 2152 01:32:44,305 --> 01:32:46,034 Byrnes, Jack Byrnes 2153 01:32:46,107 --> 01:32:47,870 Not getting it up 2154 01:32:47,942 --> 01:32:49,705 Jack, Jack Byrnes 2155 01:32:49,777 --> 01:32:51,540 Talk about sexual frustration 2156 01:32:51,613 --> 01:32:52,705 Byrnes 2157 01:32:52,780 --> 01:32:54,941 Obsessed with boobs He can breast feed his grandson 2158 01:32:55,016 --> 01:32:56,005 Jack Byrnes 2159 01:32:56,084 --> 01:32:58,712 Mannary gland Couple of tugs off the thing himself 2160 01:32:58,786 --> 01:32:59,775 Hey, Focker 2161 01:32:59,854 --> 01:33:01,048 I never did that. 2162 01:33:01,122 --> 01:33:02,817 Hey, Focker, I got nipples Okay 2163 01:33:02,891 --> 01:33:04,415 Hey, Focker, I got nipples Wow 2164 01:33:04,492 --> 01:33:06,084 Can you milk me? 2165 01:33:06,160 --> 01:33:07,821 Circle of trust goes round and round 2166 01:33:07,896 --> 01:33:09,659 Jack Circle of trust goes round and round 2167 01:33:09,731 --> 01:33:11,460 Byrnes Circle of trust goes round and round 2168 01:33:11,532 --> 01:33:12,897 Jack 2169 01:33:12,967 --> 01:33:15,162 Hello! Hot little number he's got named Jinxy 2170 01:33:15,236 --> 01:33:17,227 Now, he's talking about you. 2171 01:33:17,305 --> 01:33:18,795 Hot little number he's got named Jinxy 2172 01:33:18,873 --> 01:33:21,034 Jinxy cat, Jinxy cat I love you 2173 01:33:21,609 --> 01:33:22,769 The Godfocker.