1 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:45,428 ## 2 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:49,951 ##" I have climbed the highest mountains ##" 3 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:54,119 ##" I have run through the fields ##" 4 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:58,392 ##" Only to be with you ##" 5 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:02,957 - ( Horse Neighing ) -##" Only to be with you ##" 6 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:08,154 ##" I have run I have crawled ##" 7 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:12,558 ##" I have scaled these city walls 8 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,878 ##" These city walls ##" 9 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,357 ##" Only to be with you ##" 10 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:26,315 ##" But I still haven't found ##" 11 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,750 ##" What I'm looking for ##" 12 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,033 ##" But I still haven't found ##" 13 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,993 ##" What I'm looking for ##"##" 14 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,031 ( Traffic Noises ) 15 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,071 - ( Answering Machine Beeps ) - ( Man ) Fisher. pick up. 16 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,033 Fisher. it's me. Fisher. pick up! 17 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,197 I'm late. Come on. come on. I need to bounce some ideas off you. 18 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,151 Mine are all boring. Done it, been there. 19 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:54,319 - Hey, Ike! - When are you guys gonna stop wakin' me up every morning? 20 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,715 When your column stops putting me to sleep. 21 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,274 - Oh, funny, funny. - ( Whistles ) Yo,Jonah! 22 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,516 Fisher, come on! Are you really not there? 23 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,596 All right. Cool. I'll talk to you later. 24 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,393 Excuse me. Excuse me. You know, I think I'm doing an article about limousines. 25 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,715 What do you think about people who've never been in one? 26 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,195 I'm sorry. I don't know people like that. 27 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,869 Lex, I just need someone to bounce some ideas off of and get the juices flowing. 28 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,992 And I got one hour, 2 7 minutes, 52 seconds. 29 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,917 Hey, Ike, when are you gonna put me in the column? 30 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,793 - When your T-shirts stop shrinking. - ( Woman ) It shrinks? 31 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,717 - Funny. Funny. - Forget it. 32 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,876 He's just kidding. Here, give me five dollars. 33 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,797 - Here, give me two dollars. - No way. 34 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:33,835 Folks, I got nice shirts here. Look. ''I love everybody. You're next.'' 35 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:40,718 ##" Oh. I promise you my love won't be easy ##" 36 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:46,312 ##" I promise you there'll be times apart ##" 37 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,238 ##"##" ( Continues. Indistinct ) 38 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,397 So what's in store for us in tomorrow's column? 39 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,795 ( Groans ) I don't know yet. 40 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,196 I'm, uh, kind of a last-minute man. I, uh-- 41 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,710 You know, until an hour or two before deadline, I don't get any ideas. 42 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,794 So you get your ideas for your column from life? 43 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,559 Start up a conversation with a woman in a bar, 44 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,877 attack her dart-playing and try to get a rise out of her. 45 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,831 while you contemplate whether or not she's worth hitting on? 46 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,554 No, I can't hit on you till I get an idea. 47 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,559 - Oh, that's flattering. - No. you don't understand. 48 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,036 I understand. See, my not responding to you baiting me... 49 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,630 will inspire one of those bitter diatribes you like to write about women. 50 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,955 ( Ike ) I don't write bitter diatribes about women. 51 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,877 - Ohh. - Very often. 52 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,197 - I could. - Only when the ideas aren't flowing, huh? 53 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,515 It's so nice to meet you, one-minute man. 54 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,473 It's ''last-minute'' man. 55 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,636 Whatever. 56 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,797 Wanna hear somethin' funny? For a good-lookin' guy, you strike out a lot. 57 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,831 Have you noticed that? 58 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,111 - ( Phone Rings ) - I bet it's your ex-wife. 59 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,992 - Yeah? - Excuse me. I've seen much worse. 60 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,635 Oh. hey. Ellie! No. Ike's not here. 61 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,637 I say, I've seen much worse. 62 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,116 -All right. I'll tell him when he comes in. - Excuse me? 63 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,037 The brush-off. 64 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:09,757 I've witnessed far more treacherous and nefarious exits than that. 65 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,111 At least she castigated you in private. 66 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,550 Not as private as I thought. Kevin, you got some napkins there? 67 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,229 - Wiping or writing? - I'll let you know. 68 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,113 They love you, they hate you. 69 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,630 They're hot, they're cold, they're high, they're low. 70 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,718 They're up, they're down. You know, this is really fun making a list with you. 71 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:32,957 - But I do have a column to write here. - Ike. 72 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,958 But you have yet to find a really superb idea! 73 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,197 Th-Th-There's a girl from my home town that you could write about. 74 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,914 Excuse me. but we don't need any ideas. 75 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,951 She likes to dump grooms right at the altar. 76 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,196 They call her ''The Runaway Bride.'' 77 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,550 She's performed the travesty seven or eight times. 78 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,114 Turns around, runs like hell, bolts. 79 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,710 Adios. ploughs down the aisle, knocking old ladies out of her way... 80 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,513 like. like the running of the bulls in Pamplona. 81 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,871 And guess what? She's got the next victim all lined up. 82 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,991 She's-She's turning another body on the spit. 83 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,078 ( Ike ) Okay. Italics. here we go! 84 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,468 ( Ike's Voice ) Today is a day of profound introspection. 85 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,273 I have been accused of using this column... 86 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,154 to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex. 87 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,158 This uncomfortable accusation... 88 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,714 has plunged me into at least 1 5 minutes... 89 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,515 of serious reflection. from which I have emerged... 90 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:33,668 with the conclusion that yes. I traffic in female stereotypes. 91 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,552 Ohhh. 92 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,070 ''But how can one blame me when every time I step out my front door... 93 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,954 I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well-- 94 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,311 the mother, the virgin, the whore, the crone-- 95 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,273 They're elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs... 96 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,994 and overwhelming you with perfume in elevators.'' 97 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,669 ''But perhaps in fairness to the fair sex, I do need to broaden my horizon... 98 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,268 and add some new goddesses to the pantheon.'' 99 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,994 ''I would like to nominate for deity the cheerleader-- 100 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,111 ah, the cheerleader, the coed and the maneater, 101 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,798 the last of which concerns me most today.'' 102 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:10,318 ''In ancient Greece, this female was known as Erinnyes, the devouring death goddess. 103 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,830 In India, she's Kali, who likes to devour her boyfriend Shiva's entrails... 104 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,872 while her yoni devours his-- dot, dot, dot, never mind-- 105 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,471 and in Indonesia, the bloody-jawed maneater is called Ragma.'' 106 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,149 You notice these are all countries without cable. 107 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,430 ''And in Hale, Maryland, 108 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,154 where she helps run the family hardware store. 109 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,998 she's known as Miss Maggie Carpenter. 110 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,156 a.k.a.. the Runaway Bride. '' 111 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,874 ''What is unusual about Miss Carpenter... 112 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:41,357 is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them.'' 113 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,837 One antique hot-water handle with the ''hot'' still on it. 114 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:50,590 Guaranteed to fit any American Standard cast iron tub with a four-inch centre mount... 115 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,359 made between 1 924 and 1 938. 116 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,678 In other words, Mr Paxton, I think you are out of the doghouse with Mrs Paxton. 117 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,075 - Alleluia. - I'll see you later. I'll put it on your charge. 118 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,875 You know, there's a possibility she hasn't seen this yet. 119 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,073 I mean, maybe she just hasn't picked up a paper. You know what I mean? 120 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,919 - Or not. - ( Man ) Uh. Maggie. 121 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,077 Earl, you don't need an air conditioner. You need an attic fan. 122 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,555 There's more in the back, huh? 123 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:21,390 Hey. What? 124 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,478 So, Mag, you've seen this, huh? 125 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,114 Yes, I've seen it. 126 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,597 And it is the rudest, most offensive... 127 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,951 joke anyone has ever played on me. 128 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,958 You guys! How long did this take you? Where did you get it done? 129 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,878 You're both creeps, by the way. I should dis-invite you. 130 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:46,393 Maggie, you told us no bachelorette jokes, so... we didn't. 131 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,590 ( Bell Tolling ) 132 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,709 ( Sighs ) Holy Moley. 133 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,354 - Bag. Bag! - She's going. She's gonna go! 134 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,950 - Here's the bag. Breathe! - ( Wheezing ) 135 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,516 - ( Grunting ) -##" Ready. ready. ready. ready Ready to run ##" 136 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,838 ##" All I'm ready to do is have some fun ##" 137 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,032 - ( Barking ) -##" What's all this talk ##" 138 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,199 ##" About love ##" 139 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,595 ( Grunting ) 140 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,836 ##"##" ( Continues. Indistinct ) 141 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,236 ( Man On TV) And on the local front. our town of Hale. Maryland. 142 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,715 is still buzzing about the less-than-flattering article... 143 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,956 about their native daughter. Maggie Carpenter. 144 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:34,437 Her bridal exploits were taken to task by New York columnist Ike Graham in USA Today. 145 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,516 Mr Graham called her-- 146 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,916 ( Maggie's Voice ) Dear Editor. greetings from the sticks. 147 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,838 - ( Men Shouting ) - Perhaps you believe that a rural education... 148 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:47,636 is focused mainly on hog-calling and tractor maintenance rather than reading. 149 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,673 Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? 150 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,517 I suppose Mr Graham was too busy thinking up slanderous statements... 151 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:02,111 about how I dump men for kicks to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. 152 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,073 which is understandable because with a maneater like me on the loose. 153 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,077 who has time to check facts? 154 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,953 - Hey, Frances. Lunch today? - No, I'm going to the bank. 155 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,991 - Sure? - Sorry, Ike. 156 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,953 - All right. Hey. - Hey. 157 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,152 - I'm gonna put in a good word for you. - No, don't mention my name. 158 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,431 ( Maggie Continues ) That's why I was surprised to find Mr Graham's editor was a woman. 159 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:25,599 Call me a sentimental fool. but I sort of hoped we maneaters could stick together. 160 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,030 ''Anyway, I'm just dropping you big city folk this little note to say... 161 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,755 that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice that would satisfy my current appetite-- 162 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,791 Ike Graham's column on a platter. 163 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,036 Yours Truly, Maggie Carpenter. 164 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,630 P.S.. I have enclosed a list of the factual misrepresentations in your article. 165 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,557 There are 1 5.'' 166 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,631 Funny. I like her. She's got spunk. 167 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,513 Ike. look. she sent us this list. 168 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,155 - Our lawyers say it's actionable. - ( Sighs ) 169 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,555 I left you four messages. You don't return my calls. 170 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,399 So? I never returned your calls. Even when we were married, I didn't return your-- 171 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,317 What's Fisher doing here, anyway? 172 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,908 Ellie asked me to come down to offer moral support. 173 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,952 Since when does Ellie need moral support? 174 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,275 It's for you, Ike. 175 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,478 - What? What? -Journalism lesson number one: 176 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,672 If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. 177 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,156 Lesson number two.' Never work for your former spouse. 178 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,874 That has nothing to do with it. 179 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,709 - You cooked this story up! - I did not cook anything up! I had a source! 180 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,956 Someone reliable? Some booze hound in a bar? 181 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,310 - In vino veritas. - Hey, hey, hey. 182 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,716 Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving. 183 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:41,197 Besides. I am a columnist. This is what columnists are supposed to do. 184 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,279 It's what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limb. 185 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,472 - That's what makes me good. - No, that's what makes you unemployed. 186 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,270 ( Sighs ) All right. let's consider that my wrist has been slapped. 187 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,597 All right? There. Slap. Slap. Go ahead.Just-- 188 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,154 Slap my wrist. That's done. 189 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:05,512 Just give me a call when, you know, you feel that I have served my time and... 190 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,437 move on. 191 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,710 This is permanent, Ike. 192 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,676 If you go quietly. I'll get you severance pay. 193 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,150 - ( Woman ) I'm sorry. Ike. - ( Phone Ringing ) 194 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,999 ( Train Whistle Blowing. Bell Ringing ) 195 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,239 - ( Maggie ) Bob? Honey? - In the kitchen! 196 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,158 Honey. she canned him! Honey! 197 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,714 Bob. she canned him! 198 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,035 - Yea! What are you talking about? - Okay, listen, listen! 199 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,196 - It's in the paper! - Okay, come on. Try this on first. 200 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,073 - Okay. But I wanna read it to you, so come over this way. - All right. Okay. 201 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,997 - Okay. Ready? - Yeah. 202 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,669 ''Dear Maggie Carpenter, I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter--'' 203 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:16,157 Here it is. ''Ike Graham's column will no longer be appearing in this paper. 204 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,714 Best of luck in your upcoming marriage. '' 205 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,912 Okay, okay. This is the weight of the pack you'll be carrying in the Himalayas. 206 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,395 - Okay. - You let me know if it's too heavy. 207 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,080 - We'll adjust-- - ( Screams ) A little, yeah. 208 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,839 Yeah, a little heavy, baby. ( Laughing ) 209 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,111 ( Screams, Laughing ) 210 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:39,114 ( Phone Rings. Ike's Voice On Machine ) Yeah. hi. it's me. 211 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,550 Leave a message after the beep. If you want to leave a fax. buy me a fax machine. 212 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,875 ( Machine Beeps ) 213 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,230 Ike? Fisher. Get up. 214 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,510 I can turn this runaway bride story around. 215 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,712 I'm doing a photo spread for G.Q today by the conveyor belt. 216 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,071 Meet me. I'll save your tush. 217 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,475 And since I do freelance stuff for G.Q.. now I have an idea. You see-- 218 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,397 What are you saying? 219 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,954 Vindication. How would you like some? 220 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,390 A chance to prove that although your story wasn't entirely factual, 221 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,954 your theory was correct. 222 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,755 - The real story of Miss Carpenter? - All the gory details. 223 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,711 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 224 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,832 And if she runs again. you got a cover story. 225 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,989 ##" Oh-oh. here she comes ##" 226 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,395 ##" Watch out. boy She'll chew you up ##" 227 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,829 ##" Oh-oh. here she comes ##" 228 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,838 ##" She's a maneater ##" 229 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,474 ##" Oh-oh. here she comes ##" 230 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,068 ##" Watch out. boy She'll chew you up ##" 231 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,316 ##" Oh-oh. here she comes ##" 232 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,000 ##" She's a maneater ##" 233 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,475 ##" She'll only come out at night ##" 234 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,353 ##" The lean and hungry type ##" 235 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,916 ##" Nothing is new I've seen her here before ##" 236 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,188 ##" Watching and waiting ##" 237 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,949 ##" Ooh. she's sitting with you but her eyes are on the door ##" 238 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,791 ##" I wouldn't if I were you ##" 239 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:07,118 ##" I know what she can do She's deadly. man ##" 240 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:11,074 ##" She could really rip your world apart ##" 241 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,156 ##" Mind over matter ##" 242 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:17,990 ##" Ooh. the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart ##"##" 243 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,714 There you go. Right upstairs to the left. 244 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,798 - Thanks. How late's the restaurant open? - 8:30 every night. 245 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,717 ( Scoffs ) That late, huh? 246 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:33,360 ## 247 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,396 ( Maggie ) Cindy. can you 86 Sprout? 248 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,512 He's licking up all the petroleum distillates I'm trying to put in. 249 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,916 Oh, sorry. She's an obedience school dropout. 250 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,474 - ( Dog Barks ) - Have a seat? 251 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:51,390 ## ( Harmonizing ) 252 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,351 ( Applause ) 253 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:57,029 Thank you. See ya, ladies and gentlemen, in the hotel on the weekend. 254 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,151 ( Boy ) Come on. Dad. Hurry up. 255 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,316 - ( Bell Tolling ) - Dad, hurry up! 256 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,671 You're a goddess. You're a goddess! 257 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,712 Shazam, I think I'm in Mayberry. 258 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,308 ( Maggie ) I didn't even have to change the gasket. 259 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,556 - I just put in some new hydraulic fluid. - ( Peggy ) Stop it. 260 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:21,036 - When you talk like that it turns me on and frightens me. - Oh, you turn a girl's head. 261 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,833 Whoa-ho-ho-ho! 262 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,474 - Excuse me. Hello? - Oh-ho-ho! 263 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,195 Oh, excuse me. Could you he-- I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter. 264 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,676 There was a-a note on the door of the hardware store across the street. 265 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,711 - Are you a reporter? - ( Chuckles ) What? 266 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:40,470 It's just been our experience that anyone who comes in here with tassels on his loafers, 267 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,752 is a big-city reporter wanting to do an interview with Maggie. 268 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,996 Mm-hmm. About her upcoming wedding and all. 269 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,556 Actually, about her getting that asshole from New York fired. 270 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,709 I am just such a reporter. And who are you? 271 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:01,038 - Peggy Flemming. Not the ice-skater. - Oh. 272 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,199 - Come in. come in. come in. - Thank you. And who are these lovely ladies? 273 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,232 - Hi. I'm Cindy, Maggie's unmarried cousin. - Hello. 274 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,828 Mrs Pressman. No relation. Oh... sorry. 275 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,791 - Uh-huh. - ( Peggy ) And you are? 276 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,992 Looking for Maggie. 277 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,839 Maggie, someone to see you. 278 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,954 Ohh. 279 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:30,752 I hope you've got a new angle, because it's all pretty much been covered. 280 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,758 Hold on. No one interviews Maggie in here without a haircut. 281 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,155 Sorry. No. Just got one. 282 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:40,751 Excuse me. sir. I have a fact for you. It's an actual fact. 283 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,030 ( Ike ) Yes. Mrs Pressman? 284 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,789 You know, this is actually her fourth wedding, not her seventh like they said. 285 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,831 ( Ike ) I know. But tell me something. Do you think-- 286 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,633 Think she's gonna make it all the way this time? 287 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,593 - ( Mrs Pressman ) I don't know. - ( Gasps ) 288 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,359 - ( Pats Back ) - She swallowed her gum. 289 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,755 - She does that. - Mmm. 290 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:03,111 ( Mrs Pressman ) Mr Shillian. he runs the newsstand. He's also a local bookie. you know? 291 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,913 -Ah. yes. - He's giving eight-to-one odds that she won't. 292 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:10,113 - Okay. - Instead of a haircut, how about a wash? 293 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,071 Get all that city grit out of your hair. 294 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,997 You'll answer my questions? 295 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,917 Mm-hmm. 296 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,271 Fine. You wash, I'll ask. 297 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,153 So, what do you want to know? 298 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,033 - Uh, when's the big day? - A week from Sunday. 299 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,754 Let's just put this, um, up here like this. 300 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,792 - Because this aromatherapy can get a little strong. - Okay. All right. 301 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,435 - The lavender-- We don't want to put you to sleep. - Mmm. You nervous? 302 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,028 No. I've never been more certain of anything in my life, 303 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,675 except I've been having all kinds of weird dreams. 304 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,519 Uh-huh. Would you like to tell me about 'em? 305 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,870 Uh, yeah, sure. 306 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,878 -And another one-- - Hey, Pete, I'll be right with you. 307 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,912 I-I go inside the church. and everyone I know is there. 308 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,112 - And the creepiest part is I look down at my dress... - Mm-hmm. 309 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,037 and it's red. 310 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,869 I don't know what that means. Red is not my colour! 311 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,195 What do you think? 312 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,629 -I think you'd look good in red. - No, no. 313 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,836 She means... about your hair. 314 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,875 ( Peggy Laughing ) 315 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,518 ( Ike ) My jacket. please. 316 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,471 Thank you. 317 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,680 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I could get some shampoo? 318 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:31,713 - Some strong shampoo. - Doc's Pharmacy. Third and Elm. 319 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,877 - Thanks. - Tell 'em Pete sent you. Uh, you want my hat? 320 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,356 No. No, I'm fine. You might need it. 321 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,436 Mr Graham, if you're looking for Elm Street, it's that way. 322 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,472 - Thank you. - You know, if you came down here in the pursuit of happiness, 323 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,353 you might as well go back, because you can't make me feel bad. 324 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:01,314 Look, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm here for vindication. 325 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,159 In my heart, I feel I'm right about you. 326 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,077 Mmm. 327 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,236 You got me fired, lady. 328 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:11,875 You destroyed my reputation, and you screwed up my hair. 329 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,675 You chew up men, spit 'em out and love it. 330 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,792 You're gonna do the same thing to this poor schmuck number four... 331 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,434 that you did to the previous three. 332 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,348 You're gonna run again, and I'm not leaving until you do. 333 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:30,913 I'd love to stay and chat, but... I still have my job. 334 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,119 Hey, kid, kid, kid, kid. Wait a minute, wait a minute. 335 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,435 - I'll give you ten bucks for the hat. - Sure. 336 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,357 That's right. 337 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,797 Sheesh. 338 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:53,675 Hey. 339 00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:02,115 ( Man Laughing ) I'm tellin'you. that is a photo opportunity. 340 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,835 You know, when I only see one dog, I know I've had too much to drink. 341 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,669 - ( Man Chuckles ) - Hey, you'll never guess... 342 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,873 who came crawling into town with his tail between his legs. 343 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,788 Who? Hello. Maggie. 344 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:21,629 I just came over to apologize to your family. 345 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,115 You know, when I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 346 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,231 I pushed a story. I-I made a mistake. 347 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,954 In other words, he's only human. 348 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,355 And he brought us a bottle of wine. 349 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,198 They made me put my hat back on. 350 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,710 - Yeah. Scared the hell out of Skipper. - ( Dog Howling ) 351 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,956 - ( Laughter ) - You've gotta be kidding me. 352 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,789 No, no. You should've seen Skipper. He's like-- ( Snarls ) 353 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,469 - ( Laughter Continues ) - He goes-- ( Yowls, Howling ) 354 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,309 - It wasn't that funny. - ( Maggie ) Mm-hmm. 355 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,317 Well, actually it's been quite amusing. 356 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,876 Walter here has been sharing his father-of-the-bride wedding memories. 357 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,434 You know what? 358 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,269 I think I'll take this to the kitchen. 359 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,516 I'll help you bring it in... 360 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,834 to... the kitchen. 361 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,235 - Check on the crabs, Bob. - Okay. 362 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,476 - ( Whispering ) Is he staying for dinner? - Well, I don't know. I mean-- 363 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,875 I hope they don't have a fight in there. 364 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,116 You don't think they'd call it off, do you? 365 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,312 Wedding cake freezes. This we know. ( Chuckles ) 366 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,874 You know, your daughter is such a-- 367 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,911 ( Gasps ) Oh, I'm sorry. 368 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:27,272 No, no, that's all right. Tha-That's fine. That's fine. She's such a lovely girl. 369 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,073 Yeah. Well, like her mother. Look. 370 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,350 May she rest in peace. 371 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,119 We were all so proud of Maggie when she was in school. 372 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,550 She won that American Legion scholarship to college. 373 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,352 She studied industrial design. 374 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,029 I can't see her leaving multiple grooms in the dust like that. 375 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,913 Oh, yes you can. She's got it all on tape. 376 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,754 - Tape? - Yeah, they're all right there. 377 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,996 You got tapes of the wedding? 378 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,032 - Yeah, well, Lee at the hotel videos weddings. - Oh. 379 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:01,199 Of course. Maggie didn't know she was gonna be runnin' the hundred-yard dash. 380 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,914 I gotta say this for my daughter.' She makes real good time. 381 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,032 - Bingo! - Maggie may not be Hale's longest-running joke, 382 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,310 but she is certainly the fastest. ( Chuckles ) 383 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,034 Ha-ha. 384 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,950 You know, Maggie's mom and I were only blessed with one child. 385 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,675 - Not for a lack of trying. - Oh, this is good, Dad. Don't leave anything out. 386 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,678 - ( Clinks ) - I frankly consider it a bonus-- 387 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,950 ( Skipper Howling ) 388 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,789 that I'm actually able to plan and pay for so many weddings. 389 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,150 Not this one. This one's on me. 390 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,748 Ohhh, that's fair. 391 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,872 I don't do it on purpose, despite what you may think. 392 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,275 and I have no intention of doing it again. 393 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,710 - That's right, Maggie.Just keep your eye on the ball. - Mm-hmm. 394 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,956 Sports psychology. 395 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:52,313 Bob is the, uh, head of the P.E. department at the high school, 396 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,910 and he coaches the football team and he's climbed Everest. 397 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,593 - Everest? - ( Maggie ) Twice. 398 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,314 - This true? - Without oxygen. 399 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,399 - My girl, she likes to brag about me. - I do. 400 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,353 ( Bob ) Maggie's training for our wedding night. 401 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,914 I'm taking her trekking on Annapurna for our honeymoon. 402 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,112 - Oh, how romantic! - We think so. 403 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,438 Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed with two sherpas and a yak. 404 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,676 ( Laughing ) 405 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,911 Hey, Ike. How's it going? 406 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,190 You won't believe what I'm looking at here. 407 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,471 I've got a video... of all three train wrecks. 408 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,956 ( Man On Video ) Here's my bride... who's my pride. 409 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,072 I'll never hide when she's by my side. 410 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,589 Here's for you, Maggie, my sugar magnolia. 411 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,995 - ( Cheering On Video ) - ( Ike ) Do you want the truth? 412 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,873 Do you want the facts? I got 'em. 413 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,118 ## 414 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,276 Yeah, I'll send you a copy of the notes. 415 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,391 Good weekend reading for you. Yeah. bye. 416 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,239 And, uh, love to Ellie. Okay, bye. 417 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,872 ##" Sweet blossom Come on under the willow ##" 418 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,434 ##" We can have high times if you'll abide ##" 419 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,677 ##" We can discover the wonders of nature ##" 420 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,553 ##" Rolling in the bushes down by the riverside ##" 421 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,995 ##" She's got everything delightful ##" 422 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,839 ##" She's got everything I need ##" 423 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,032 ##" Takes the wheel when I'm seein'double ##" 424 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,596 ##" Pays my ticket when I speed ##"##" 425 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,437 Okay, Preacher man, let's go. 426 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,472 - Uh-oh. - Maggie? Maggie. where are you goin'? 427 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,919 - Sam! - Maggie? 428 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,112 - Sam. quick. Get back on the bike. - Okay. but how was the wedding? 429 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,550 Shorter than we planned. Just go. 430 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,513 ( Gill ) Okay. Peace. baby! 431 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,432 ( Tape Fast-Forwarding ) 432 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:53,030 ##"##" ( Organ ) 433 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:19,635 ( Woman Singing On Tape ) # Ave Maria # 434 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,993 ## ( Singing Continues, Indistinct ) 435 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,314 ( Guests Murmuring ) 436 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,510 - Where is she goin'? - Look. she's leaving. 437 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,074 - Where's she goin'? - She forgot her purse. 438 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,111 No. she didn't forget her purse. 439 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,993 Well. go after her! Do something! 440 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,988 - ( Murmuring Continues ) - ( Chuckles ) I don't believe it. 441 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:48,918 ##"##" ( ''Canon In D'') 442 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,840 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today-- 443 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,999 - ( Horse Neighing ) - Uh, could we hold the horse, please? 444 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,634 What's wrong with the horse? 445 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,150 - The horse seems morejittery than the bride. - ( Neighing Continues ) 446 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,998 ##"##" ( ''The Marriage of Figaro'') 447 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,871 I like the, uh, white tuxedo. 448 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,036 Yeah, but he's no good, 'cause he's too blond. 449 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,879 All right. Well, then, we just go with something very traditional. 450 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,879 He's handsome. Maybe a little too dark for Bob. 451 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,753 Yeah, but he's got the Bobster's eyes. 452 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,952 No. No, no, no. Bobster's eyes, closer set. 453 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,877 - Well, hello. - Oh, hi. 454 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,231 - Hi. Hi. Could I have two cups of coffee? - Yes. 455 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:11,511 And-- ( Sniffs ) Mmm! What is that wonderful smell? 456 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,995 Th-Th-- Oh. the cinnamon rolls. 457 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,350 - Can I have two of those? - ( Chuckles ) Yeah. sure. 458 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,756 - Thank you. - Okay. Uh, Maggie, I think this makes the best you. 459 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,270 - Okay. - Oh, let's see. 460 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,075 Look at that. Excuse me. 461 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,237 Ohhh, look at that. 462 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,189 ( Mutters ) Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! 463 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,995 Oh! Ow! Oh! Help me! Help me! 464 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:41,749 ( Sighs ) Yep, that'd be her. 465 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:45,031 ( Laughing ) You must be that Mr Graham fellow. 466 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,072 Yes. I am. And you are? 467 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,873 - ( Continues Laughing ) I'm Betty Trout. - Hi. Betty! 468 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,151 - Okay. I guess you'll be the one making the cake. - Yes. 469 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,077 - Yeah. - I am. 470 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,760 - And I'm also told that you will-- - Sure. Oh. 471 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,348 - you will be throwing-- - I'm throwing the luau for Maggie. 472 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,074 A pre-wedding luau. 473 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,156 So if you're still in town, you should stop by. 474 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,157 No. No, he doesn't want to come. 475 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,157 - I'd love to come. - ( Bell Dings ) 476 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,750 - I will be there. Thank you so much. - Is that what you're gonna do? 477 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,919 - Are you just gonna follow me around everywhere I go? - No. 478 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,952 ( Ike ) I'll be back. Betty. 479 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,709 - ( Betty Giggles ) Bye. Mr Graham. - He's not a nice person. 480 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,630 - Oh, w-well, I know. - That's my pick. The eyes are perfect. 481 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,557 - ( Whistle Blows ) - ( Chattering, Cheering ) 482 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,955 ( Cheerleaders ) We always win! We never fail! 483 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,594 We're the Comets. so go to Hale! 484 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,518 Let's go. Comets! Let's go! 485 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,632 Let's go. Comets! Let's go! ( Cheering Continues ) 486 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,194 - Hi, Miss Carpenter. - Hey, Kendall. 487 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,869 Maggie, don't marry Coach. Marry me. 488 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,877 - ( Cheers Continue ) - I love you. 489 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,036 You're jailbait, Dennis. Go away. Go away! 490 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,276 - Run your laps! Go! Go, go! - ( Whistle Blows ) 491 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,790 - ( Players Grunting ) - Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! From the hips! 492 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,229 From the hips! K'eep it low. men! K'eep it low! 493 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,079 ( Blows Whistle ) Good job, gentlemen! Good job. 494 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,509 All right, special teams! Special teams! 495 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,870 Hey. honey. How are you? 496 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,231 Good. What is he up to now? 497 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,591 Ah. Ikejust dropped by to check out the team. 498 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,517 - Oh. - And to talk about you. 499 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,437 - Aw! - Yes! 500 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,835 You aren't making friends with this man, are you? 501 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:26,238 Aw, honey, I'm just bragging about how good you are and how I'm the luckiest man alive. 502 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,797 - Mm-hmm! - Sweet. Mmm. 503 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:35,755 Well... I better be moving. Got a lot of work to do today. 504 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,996 -All right. - See you two lovebirds later. 505 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,395 - See you at the weddin'. - Yeah. Thanks for the jacket, Coach. 506 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,750 You invited him to the wedding? 507 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,634 Go, go, Comets! Let's go! Go, go, Comets! 508 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,672 - Let's go! - Don't you realize he's writing another article about me? 509 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,870 Well, sure I do, but you're not runnin'. 510 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,231 - Come on. Give me some of that home-made sunshine. - Hmm. 511 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,353 Boys! Take my princess for a ride on her chariot. ( Blows Whistle ) 512 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,675 - ( Boys Grunting ) - Oh, my God! 513 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,950 ( Laughing, Muttering ) 514 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,115 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 515 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,949 My last confession was-- Ugh, anyway. 516 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,753 I have sort of a technical question. 517 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,031 I've been having bad thoughts. 518 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,469 Really bad thoughts. 519 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,672 - Of an impure nature? - No. no. Uh... 520 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,475 I want to destroy this man's life, career, everything. 521 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:31,397 I want revenge. 522 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,637 Now. on the sin scale. how bad is that? 523 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,672 Can I ''Hail Mary'' my way out of that? 524 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,349 - My child, any sin in one's heart-- - The name is Maggie. 525 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,278 It was this side of ten years ago you had your tongue down my throat. 526 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,073 So don't ''my child'' me, Brian, okay? It annoys me. 527 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,237 - Look, Mag. Don't get so upset. - You watch it! Hey, hey! 528 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,828 Oh! Hey, Brian, talk to me! Brian! I need to talk to you! 529 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,996 - Maggie. Maggie. - Oh. 530 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,078 - You're not even Catholic, so you really shouldn't be here. - I'm-I'm sorry. 531 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,237 I'm just so stressed out about this slimeball reporter being in town, 532 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,555 and I wanted tell you that he might stop by here... 533 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,989 and as you all kinds of ridiculous questions. 534 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,159 Well, he only actually asked me one ridiculous question, and the rest really weren't so bad. 535 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,989 What? Oh, you talked to him? 536 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,317 Oh, did you tell him that we dated before you were a priest? 537 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,716 Of course. But, you know, I think I only did you good. 538 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,035 W-W-What exactly did he ask? 539 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,276 - I-- - Am I too late, Father? 540 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,914 - No, no. - It won't take long.Just two minutes. 541 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,837 Okay, yes. 542 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,916 Um, just respectful things. 543 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:33,871 What kind of music did you like? 544 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,956 What did we have in common back then? 545 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,753 Did you ruin my life when you left me at the altar? 546 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,997 Oh. What did you say? 547 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,793 I said, you know, ''How could I be angry... 548 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:49,311 when this is clearly as God intended for it to be for me?'' 549 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,749 Good one! Thanks. 550 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:56,510 But actually it's-it's really, really how I feel. 551 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,436 Of course. God, yes. Not... God. 552 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,074 Uh... I'm sorry. I better go. 553 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,875 The man is a lunatic, but I think I know exactly where he's going next. 554 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,797 God bless. 555 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,239 Oh, my purse. I forgot my purse. 556 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,033 Um... hi. Thanks. Sorry. 557 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,196 Purse. Good luck. 558 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,517 Uh, what was the one ridiculous question that he asked? 559 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,393 Oh, he wanted to know how you liked your eggs? 560 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,513 Oh. Weird. Like a person's gonna remember after all this time. 561 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,394 Scrambled with salt, pepper and dill. Same as me. 562 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,595 I'm sorry I hurt you, Brian. 563 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,869 Maggie, I-I'm happy now here. It's where I'm supposed to be. 564 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,709 But if you ever do decide to become a Catholic, 565 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,354 will you do me this favour-- confess to Father Patrick? 566 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,789 Of course. 567 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,355 Gill? Lydia? 568 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,313 Mags! Hey, look! The tape! 569 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,238 Remember, Radio City Music Hall concert... 570 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,158 when Jerry was on Ripple and I'm going like, ''Dude, let me jam!'' 571 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,157 - Yeah! I'll play it for you. - Uh, Gill, listen. 572 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,033 - You remember, Maggie. You were there. - Can you focus on me? 573 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,754 There's this reporter who's making my life a living hell. 574 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,759 - Okay. - And whatever you do... ( Laughs ) 575 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,589 do not show him that picture of me from the concert in San Francisco. 576 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,631 - Okay? Can you-- - ( Man Laughing ) 577 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,557 - ( Guitar Stops ) - What is that? 578 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,636 - Um-- - Huh? 579 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,479 Wait. San Francisco. Wait. But we went there a few times. There's a lot of pictures. 580 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,433 Which picture? Because one time we had a flat tyre, you remember? 581 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,996 - Then we switched-- - Imagine... Maggie Carpenter... 582 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,317 topless in a public arena. 583 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,954 Mmm! 584 00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,072 I see it was a very chilly evening. 585 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,031 Mm-hmm. 586 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,390 You know, what's really interesting about this, though, 587 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,876 is that you can't see that rose tattoo... 588 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,355 on your back. 589 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:19,076 ( Laughing ) Oh, yeah. Ike bet me 50 bucks you don't still have it. 590 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,431 I said, ''You're on, man! Maggie loved that thing.'' 591 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,438 And, Maggie, seriously, I mean, I could use 50 bucks. 592 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,472 - Mm-hmm. - Maggie. 593 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,431 Just-- 594 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,632 ( Laughing ) 595 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,955 Look, I'm not gonna show you guys anything. 596 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,868 I-I am a soon-to-be-married woman, so just give me the photograph. 597 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,753 I would love to give you this. Believe me. I would. 598 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,348 Just give us a quick gander at that rose. 599 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,516 and I'll gladly turn it over to you. 600 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,154 Fine. Heh. Fine, okay? Fine. 601 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:53,670 Fine. Okay? All right? 602 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,712 - ( Clears Throat ) Satisfied? - Completely. 603 00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:01,356 - Maggie, you got it removed? - ( Sighs ) Gill. 604 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,678 Gill, I'll go you double or nothing it was a stick-on. 605 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,437 Maggie? 606 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,994 ( Sighs ) 607 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,908 Gill, I am, uh, really, 608 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,112 really afraid of needles. 609 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:22,152 - But that doesn't make me a bad person. I just-- - Look. 610 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,192 Look. Look! ( Crying ) 611 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,517 - I think this man is heartbroken. - No, he's not. 612 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,471 I think I am. 613 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,034 ( Scoffs ) No, you-you're not. 614 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,550 You have your guitar. and you have Lydia. You're not-- 615 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,399 ## ( Strumming ) 616 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,954 We'll talk about this later, okay? 617 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,990 Hey. Ike? 618 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,192 - What would Jerry do? - He'd play. 619 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,914 -Jerry would play. - He would play. 620 00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,112 ## ( Blues ) 621 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:07,830 ## 622 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,430 Wow, there's Ike with the mayor and the police chief. 623 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,994 Boy, he sure makes friends easy. 624 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,953 That's pretty cool. 625 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:22,313 ## 626 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,989 - ( Crowd Cheering ) - Oh, yeah! Excellent! 627 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,351 ( Cheering Continues ) 628 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,196 - Hey, you're that reporter, right? - Yeah. 629 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:37,791 There he is again. Snoop Doggy Dogg. 630 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,957 - I'm going to marry Maggie someday. - Oh, really? 631 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,913 He's an attractive man. 632 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,235 The vicious reporter is attractive? 633 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,396 - Well-- - You're saying viciousness is attractive to you? 634 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,954 - No, I'm not saying viciousness is attractive. - That's very telling. 635 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,640 ( Crowd Cheering ) 636 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,320 - Do you think that-- Oh. okay. he's coming. - Okay. I'll go-- 637 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,398 No, no, no, no! Don't! Don't leave. Don't leave. Uh, okay, act natural. 638 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,318 - Okay. - Um, he can probably read lips. 639 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,228 Hey, the famous Swenson triplets. Give me 1 5. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. 640 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,511 - I'll handle this. - Don't move your lips. Okay? Keep going. 641 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,551 - I'll handle this. - Okay. 642 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,194 - I won't say anything. I'll handle it. - Okay. Okay. 643 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,117 Okay, good. 644 00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:20,631 - ( Crowd Chattering ) - ( Indistinct Shout ) 645 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,591 - Hey, Peggy Flemming. - Hey. 646 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:25,234 - Not the ice-skater. - Hey, that's Maggie's seat. 647 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,954 Yeah, so this must be her beer too. Mmm. 648 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,911 - ( Man ) Hey! - Hey, sweetie! 649 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,713 Is this your husband out here? 650 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,798 - Yeah. - This is Cory? Cory Flemming? 651 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,798 - He's a, uh, radio announcer here, isn't he? - Yeah, that's right. 652 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:42,595 Have you heard his morning show, Wake Up With Flem? 653 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,517 Not yet. 654 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,838 ( Announcer On P.A. ) Now up. Atlantic Hotel's Lee Thistlehorn. 655 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,474 - He actually made the all-stars in high school. - Really? 656 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,636 - Yeah. - You must be very proud of him. 657 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,751 Well, I didn't really know him back then. 658 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:59,634 - I mean, he was actually dating Maggie at the time. - ( Woman ) Grab me a soda! 659 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,877 I mean, he-- he-he never really-- 660 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,309 I mean, they were never gonna get engaged or anything. 661 00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,271 - Oh. no. - I mean, it was just like, you know, 662 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,709 sometimes he'd all her ''Magpie,'' and it was really irritating. 663 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,991 - Magpie? - But it-- I don't know why I'm telling you this. 664 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,554 No. i-it's good. This is good. 665 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,790 - He's stealing third! - Yes! 666 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:23,118 - ( Grunts ) - Excellent! 667 00:38:23,240 --> 00:38:26,437 ( Crowd Cheering ) 668 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,790 Yes! Yes! Whoo! 669 00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:32,435 Safe! 670 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,870 - Whoo! - ( Both Cheering ) 671 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,468 - Good one! - Mag... pie! 672 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,118 - ( Scoffs, Mutters ) - Excellent! 673 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:49,196 It's nice that, um, they're still friends. 674 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,676 Yeah, I mean, that was just a long time ago. 675 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,268 - Yeah. - And, you know, it's just-- 676 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,273 So... excuse me. 677 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,197 - You all right? - Yeah. 678 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,596 ( Announcer On P.A. ) That makes it Alumni.' 9. Hale Students.' 8. 679 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:10,110 - Hey, Peggy! - Hey! 680 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:14,916 ( Announcer On P.A. ) Cookies for today's game were donated by Betty Trout. 681 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:19,795 - ( Chattering ) - Now up for the Comets. George Hill. 682 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,388 You have been here, what, like three minutes? What did you do to her? 683 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,671 - What? - You can just turn that finger around. 684 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,837 - Excuse me? - ( Mocking ) Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory! 685 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,474 Bam, bam, bam, bam! What is that? What is this about? 686 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,717 You know what? We have all been friends our entire lives. 687 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,513 A type of relationship that you obviously don't understand. 688 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:40,313 Look, I'm not the only one who does not understand. 689 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,830 The U.S.S. Maggie leaves quite a wake. 690 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:47,714 - Excuse me. - ( Man ) Oh. yeah! 691 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,638 - ( Scoffs ) - ( Applause. Cheering ) 692 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,389 Pot-stirrer man. 693 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,988 ( Cheering Continues ) 694 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,396 ( Announcer On P.A. ) Cory Flemming to Lee Vendelhorn. 695 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,159 Lee! All right! 696 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,238 That's cheering. I'm cheering normal. 697 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,875 Cheer... normal. 698 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,556 ( Woman ) Good morning. Peggy! 699 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,399 - ( Bell Tolling ) - ( Peggy ) Good morning. 700 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,870 ## ( Humming ) 701 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,874 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 702 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:36,229 Good morning to you too. You look good. 703 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,354 Thank you. Do you think I flirt with Cory? 704 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:45,029 - Yes. - I don't mean to. 705 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,232 I know. I think sometimes you just sort of... 706 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,511 spaz out with excess flirtatious energy. 707 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:55,269 and it just lands on anything male that moves. 708 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,868 Anything male that moves? 709 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,356 As opposed to anything male that doesn't? 710 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,071 Well... like certain kinds of coral. 711 00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:10,473 - I'm definitely gonna have to kill myself today. - Why? 712 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:15,071 Because you think I'm all like, ''Hey, man, check me out!'' 713 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,954 No, I don't. I think you're like, 714 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,993 ''I'm charming and mysterious in a way that even I don't understand, 715 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:28,240 and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like you.'' 716 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,316 It's very hard to compete with, 717 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:34,149 especially as married women who've lost our mystery. 718 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:38,319 Lost-- You have-- You are totally mysterious! 719 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,396 No. I'm weird. 720 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:44,035 Weird and mysterious are two very different things. 721 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,232 - I'm weird. - No. You're quirky. 722 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:52,036 Quirky and weird are two very different things. 723 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,993 Peggy, I think there is a distinct possibility... 724 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:02,352 that I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up. 725 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,799 Despite that. I love you... 726 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:11,516 and I promise to no longer flirt with Cory. 727 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,032 Maggie, I'm not worried about you and Cory... 728 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:17,991 or-or me and Cory... 729 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,795 or, or you being irreversibly screwed up. 730 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,276 Maggie, you've been like this since we were kids, 731 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:29,598 and all I'm thinkin' is, now that you're aware of it... 732 00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:33,110 and that it hurts people's feelings sometimes, 733 00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:36,869 maybe it's time to get on with life and commit to someone of your own... 734 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,594 like Bob, if he's the one. 735 00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:41,551 I know. 736 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,510 Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? 737 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:53,269 Well... there's always... 738 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,756 the thing that brings warmth to my heart, 739 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,950 and that is duck-billed platypus. 740 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:03,073 Duck-billed-- That is only funny in, like, Camp Birchwood on a... 741 00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,760 -Just do it. Do it. - trip with the tent... 742 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,836 and my leg as the pole, and it's raining and-- 743 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,110 You know, that's the only time that's funny. 744 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:12,037 Let's just see. 745 00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,471 Oh. 746 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,473 ( Peggy Laughing ) 747 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,398 That's so humiliating. 748 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,158 Thank you. 749 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,956 Thank you. 750 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,310 ( Barbershop Quartet ) ##" Farewell. ladies ##" 751 00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,319 ##" Farewell. ladies We're going to leave you now ##" 752 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:44,558 ##" Merrily we roll along Roll along. roll along ##" 753 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,797 -##" Merrily we roll along ##" ( Continues. Indistinct ) - Lee. Hey, wake up! Hey! 754 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:51,754 - Hello! - Hey. Hi. Give me the key to the reporter's room. 755 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:55,555 - I'm gonna snoop around a little bit. Come on, quick. - Okay, okay. 756 00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,477 - Second floor. - Thank you. 757 00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,795 - Don't take anything big! - Okay. 758 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,757 - ( Lock Rattling) - Shhh! 759 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,039 Hmm. 760 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,117 Hopefully his favourite. 761 00:44:29,240 --> 00:44:32,038 ( Fisher ) You know. my theory is that she's always running... 762 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,675 because she gets negative attention. and negative attention is attention. 763 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,110 You know. like when women whack you on the street because of your column. 764 00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:42,391 - That's negative attention. - We're talking about her negative attention, not mine. 765 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:56,069 ''How does she get all those guys to propose? She's not that beautiful.'' 766 00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,953 ( Scoffs ) Bite me, paperboy. 767 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,510 Oh! Hey! Hey! 768 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,676 - Hi, Ike. - Hey, Ralph. 769 00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,792 Put your shoes out at night, and they're real shiny in the morning. 770 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:14,310 - Sometimes they don't bring 'em back. - Hmm, why take a chance? 771 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,271 Good night. 772 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,672 All right, I know you're in there! I saw-- 773 00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:37,157 - ( Grunting ) - You realize you're messing with the First Amendment now. 774 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:42,639 Come on. open up. Come on! 775 00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:47,231 We should have a very serious discussion about why you are such a pain in the ass! 776 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,828 Now, come on! Open the door! All right, I'm coming in. 777 00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:53,509 I'm coming through. Your last chance. Here I come! 778 00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:57,189 Here I come! Here I come! 779 00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,073 All right. Hey! 780 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,077 All right. Breaking and entering. 781 00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,111 That's a felony! I'm calling the sheriff. 782 00:46:04,240 --> 00:46:06,276 Oh, you know what? You do that. 783 00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,392 And can you remind him that he's bringing the wine to the luau? 784 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,398 ( Whispering ) Save me a call. Thanks. 785 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,556 Hey, Ike, does your friend have a sister? 786 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,070 Wait for the original. She'll be available in a week. 787 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:33,111 ##"##" ( Trumpet.' Miles Davis ) 788 00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:52,075 ( Maggie Imitating Rooster Crowing ) 789 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,351 ( Crowing Continues ) 790 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,556 - ( Sniffs ) - Freeze! 791 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,672 Oh. hold onto those covers. I didn't come here to see Ike. junior. 792 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:06,396 ( Sighs ) I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers. 793 00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:11,875 So, your notes made for, um, interesting reading. 794 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:15,436 - What's your point? - My point is, once again you're getting it all wrong. 795 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,757 And that's not going to improve your reputation, and it's not very flattering to me, either. 796 00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:24,352 So... I decided that I would help you write the truth. 797 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:27,552 - Really? - Mm-hmm. Oh. 798 00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,755 I've decided to cooperate and let you interview me... 799 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,030 for a thousand bucks. 800 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:38,311 - ( Groans ) - I want a big wedding and a killer dress, 801 00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:43,116 and for a grand, I will answer all your questions and let you follow me around. 802 00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:47,074 The magazine does not spend money for stories. 803 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,634 It's not what you would call ethical. 804 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:51,716 Oh. No, I meant you. I figured you probably got... 805 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,799 severance or expenses or both. 806 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,037 I'm guessing... that you're writing on spec. 807 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,869 And with a first-person interview, you might actually sell that thing. 808 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,276 - Too much. - Seven-fifty. 809 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,356 - Five hundred. - Six-fifty. 810 00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:11,357 Done. 811 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:15,075 ## ( Ike Whistling Andy Griffith Show Theme ) 812 00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,953 Is that supposed to be like a joke or something? 813 00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,594 - I know what you're whistling. Hello. - Hi. 814 00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:23,234 ( Laughs ) 815 00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,113 ( Maggie ) This is a birthday present for my cousin. 816 00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,473 ( Laughs ) That's great. 817 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,717 Wonderful stuff. All these found industrial parts. 818 00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,196 ( Mutters ) Lamp... tree? 819 00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:41,359 Great. Is this-- that your preferred logo? 820 00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:43,835 - I think so. - It's nice. 821 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,952 The whole thing is great. Look, I-I think you could sell these lamps in New York. 822 00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,959 - Maybe someday. Hmm. - You afraid to try? 823 00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:56,154 No. No, no, I'm not afraid. Just... someday. 824 00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,075 This is Brian. 825 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,316 Ohhh, Father Brian. 826 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,274 - And Gill's, of course. - Gill, yeah! 827 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,358 And... George. 828 00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,790 He proposed at a butterfly farm in St Thomas. 829 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,036 The ring was inside a cocoon. 830 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,357 Mmm, a little too Silence of the Lambs for my taste, but-- 831 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:22,314 Well. he's an entomologist. I thought it was very unique. 832 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,034 - And finally, Bob. - Mm-hmm. 833 00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,948 He proposed during the seventh-inning stretch... 834 00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:32,197 at an Oriole game. 835 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,278 Wait, wait, wait! Don't tell me. 836 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,472 The scoreboard lit up with ''Marry me, Maggie''! 837 00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,194 It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. 838 00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,550 I don't know. Highly suspect. 839 00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,752 What do you mean? It was incredibly romantic. 840 00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:49,952 Look, maybe it's just me, but... 841 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,755 you know, if you gotta dress it up like that, it just doesn't ring true. 842 00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,156 I-- I think the most... 843 00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:00,397 that anybody can honestly say is. 844 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,910 ''Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. 845 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,793 I guarantee that at some point... 846 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:10,151 one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. 847 00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:13,829 But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, 848 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,872 I'll regret it the rest of my life, 849 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:21,357 'cause I know. in my heart... 850 00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:25,189 you're the only one for me.'' 851 00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:33,434 I like it. I'd like it better on a scoreboard. 852 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:36,313 ( Chuckles ) 853 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:40,558 So, is that what you said when you asked your wife to marry you? 854 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:44,468 Well, don't look so surprised. You got ''divorce'' written all over you. 855 00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,558 I'm a work in progress. 856 00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,752 So, is that what you said to her? 857 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,678 No, I think I said something very eloquent, like... 858 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:58,828 ''So, um, maybe you and I should, you know-- 859 00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,679 What do you think? Huh?'' 860 00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,553 ( Laughs ) Now, that's romantic. 861 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:08,229 And with a proposal like that, you didn't find eternal bliss? 862 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,557 - ( Sighs ) - What went wrong? 863 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,797 - I don't know. - You don't know? 864 00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,831 No. 865 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,716 Maybe you should ask her sometime. You ever thought of that? 866 00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:25,310 ( Chuckles ) 867 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,070 ( Maggie ) Even with everything that's happened. 868 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,634 I have still never been married. 869 00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,274 and I still deserve a beautiful dress. 870 00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:40,397 ( Door Bells Jingle ) 871 00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,034 - Mrs Whittenmeyer? - Where are you going? 872 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,355 - Oh. hi. Polly. - Oh, hi, Maggie. 873 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,233 You'll have to excuse her. Some of the children are afraid of you... 874 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,874 since you dragged that little boy up the aisle. 875 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,959 Drag-- No, I didn't-- I didn't-- no, he tripped on his own shoelaces. 876 00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,674 You've come for your dress. Good. It's in the back. 877 00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,314 - I'll get it. - Oh, actually, Mrs Whittenmeyer, 878 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:04,433 I decided that I want to get this dress. 879 00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:08,314 Oh. The one you have on hold is lovely, dear. 880 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:11,989 No, I know. But I've just-- I've changed my mind. 881 00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:14,156 This is $ 1 ,000. 882 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:16,953 And I have $ 1 ,000. 883 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,913 The other one is only $300. dear. 884 00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:24,238 Um... is that dress for sale? 885 00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:28,478 It's just a lot of money to spend on one of your dresses, Maggie. 886 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,275 After all, you only wear them for about ten minutes or so. 887 00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,995 Um... yeah, yeah. I guess that's true. 888 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,197 Uh... the other dress is, is nice. 889 00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,595 - ( Ike ) Mrs ''Whittenheimer''? - ''Meyer.'' 890 00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:52,393 Whittenmeyer. Can I talk to you just for a second? 891 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,592 Come here. I don't know much about this kind of thing. 892 00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,871 I'm from out of town. But you're a salesperson. right? 893 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,992 - Y-You're here to sell wedding dresses. - I've been here 30 years. 894 00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,590 Perfect! Because Miss Carpenter is here to buy one. 895 00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:08,553 Ah, but not just any one. She wants that one! 896 00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,990 - It's a thousand dollars. - Uh, listen, Aunt Bea, 897 00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:15,351 verbal communication was never perfect for me. 898 00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:17,277 Let's try visual, all right? 899 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,671 We're buying the dress. 900 00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:24,360 - Oh! - Now, we'll have this nice, beautiful dress. 901 00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:27,916 And anything else she wants, it's hers, okay? All right? 902 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,355 ( Sighs ) What do you think? 903 00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,471 Hmm? 904 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:55,600 You look-- 905 00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,591 ( Sniffs ) You look fine. 906 00:54:03,720 --> 00:54:06,109 Fine? 907 00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,514 ( Clears Throat ) 908 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:14,633 You're reading your newspaper upside-down. That's gotta be better than fine. 909 00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:16,955 Yeah. 910 00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:21,312 Hey, come on now. Admire me. Get the whole picture. All right? Picture it. 911 00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:25,274 I'm gonna have my hair up... somehow. I don't know. Maybe with a little-- in the back or-- 912 00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,073 And my favourite feature... 913 00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:32,716 is that it kind of swishes like a bell when I move. 914 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:39,036 Ding. Ding. Ding. 915 00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:42,550 - Ding. Ding. - It works. 916 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,319 Bob will be very happy. 917 00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:49,911 Oh, Bob! Oh, we-we gotta go! We gotta go-- We gotta go meet Bob! 918 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:53,237 ( Mrs Pressman ) Oh, geez, yeah, I'm goin' to the luau. I never miss it. 919 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,476 - You know. the barbershop quartet-- - Mrs Pressman? 920 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:58,160 - We're ready to order here, I think. - Uh, I'm all out of the special-- 921 00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:01,033 That's all right. I'm gonna have the garden omelette, egg whites only. 922 00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,754 Mmm. that sounds good. I'll have the same. 923 00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:06,269 - Of course. - What is that? 924 00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:11,030 - I can't even order eggs without sarcasm from you? - ( Clears Throat ) 925 00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,196 - Hey, neutral corners, huh? You're on the same team now. - What is that sound? 926 00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:16,073 - ( Clears Throat ) Have some water. - Penalty box. 927 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,395 - What is it? Fur ball or-- Oh! - Penalty box. Penalty box, huh? 928 00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:21,671 Ike. Maggie is the sweetest person you're ever gonna meet. 929 00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:23,916 but she focuses too much, you know, out there. 930 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,076 She needs to start focusing more in here. 931 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,668 I mean, that's why I think she's had, uh-- 932 00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:32,076 whatever you wanna call it-- problems in the past. 933 00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:36,239 And that's what we're working on. Focus. 934 00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:39,238 Focus. F-Focus on Maggie. Focus on Maggie. 935 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:41,999 - Mm-hmm. - Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob. 936 00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:45,317 And I've been runnin' Maggie through these visualization exercises. 937 00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:48,079 All the sports shrinks, uh, use this head stuff. 938 00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:50,555 Uh, visualize the end zone. 939 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,399 Visualize that hole in one. 940 00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:58,629 Tell me, when you get to the altar, will you spike the bouquet? 941 00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,593 - Okay, you know what-- - Well, I'm off. 942 00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:03,676 A reporter's work is never done. 943 00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:05,950 See you later. Bye, Mrs Pressman. Thank you. 944 00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,150 ( Mrs Pressman ) I'm gonna go focus on your eggs. Bob. 945 00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:13,995 I'm glad you're here. I wanted to try to explain. 946 00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,999 There are reasons why there have been three weddings and no ''I do's.'' 947 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:21,476 You can't believe how much cake we got stuck with. 948 00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,591 It's a wonder I don't weigh 300 pounds. 949 00:56:23,720 --> 00:56:26,473 And then. her father bought all that booze that nobody drank. 950 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,397 - But he didn't mind that, I-- - Hi, Grandma. 951 00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,716 - Hi, Netta. - Grammy here was giving me the skinny... 952 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,070 on why you run from marital bliss. 953 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,509 Right. Netta, cover up your ears. 954 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:41,191 It's not that she's afraid of the wedding. 955 00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:43,117 She's afraid of the wedding night! 956 00:56:43,240 --> 00:56:46,073 - Mm. - Innocent girls are terrified... 957 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:49,033 of the one-eyed snake. 958 00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,191 Why. when I was a virgin bride. 959 00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,436 I took a knitting needle to bed with me. 960 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:58,439 ( Clears Throat ) Grandma, 961 00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:00,391 I charmed the one-eyed snake a while ago. 962 00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:03,080 Oh, yeah. I forgot. 963 00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:07,398 Well. I'll tell you one thing. Your grandpa never forgot that wedding night. 964 00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:09,317 Netta, you can take your hands down. 965 00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,237 - The tea's cold. - Good. 966 00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,999 Can you excuse us for a minute? May I have a word with you? 967 00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:16,475 Oh. Bye, Netta. 968 00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:18,397 Bye. Thanks, Grammy. 969 00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,275 A-ha. ( Coughs ) 970 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,472 I found this, and I didn't know if it was something interesting. 971 00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,876 - This is Miles Davis! - I was cleaning out the attic. 972 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,673 - and it was-- - It's very hard to find in good condition. 973 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:33,836 You hold on to this. This is incredible. 974 00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:35,916 Why don't you take it? 975 00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:39,237 - Hmm. - Huh? 976 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:41,715 Take it. 977 00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,910 Okay, figuring out what kind of music I like, 978 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:48,192 finding me a rare album-- not trying to butter me up, are you? 979 00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,470 I was cleaning out the attic, 980 00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:53,239 not attempting the impossible. 981 00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:57,636 I smell trouble. 982 00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:00,991 ( Man On Radio ) This is Cory Flemming. and I'll be featuring the music of... 983 00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:04,874 ''Denise and The Nephews'' tomorrow morning on ''Wake Up With Fle--'' 984 00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,753 ( Turns Off Car Radio ) 985 00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,235 ( Ike ) What have we got here? 986 00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,035 -##"##" ( Country ) - Come on. big guy. 987 00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,355 Oh! Here. On our feet. There we go. Let's go! 988 00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:19,630 Let's go, big guy. Yeah. 989 00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,672 I haven't had any fun since you got your driver's licence. 990 00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:26,713 Let me give you a tip. I haven't been having a whole lot of fun either. 991 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,590 - Steady. - Good boy, Porthole. 992 00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:33,870 - His name's Skipper, Dad. - I changed it. 993 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,514 - Ah. Okay, step. - ( Groans, Coughs ) 994 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,359 Ah, I'll be back later, Travis. 995 00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:41,391 That guy Travis really has a problem. 996 00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:44,239 - Mm. Okay. Here we are. - I'll ge-- I'll get it. 997 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:47,238 Okay. Steady. 998 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:49,510 Now, I'm gonna-- You're gonna lean, I'm gonna push. 999 00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:53,997 - Good daughters let their fathers pass out. - Hey, Walter. 1000 00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:57,351 - Get right down there. - I-I-- Please, please don't write anything-- 1001 00:58:57,480 --> 00:59:00,358 No, forget about it. Don't even think about it. 1002 00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,949 I'm just so tired of this whole scene. 1003 00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:19,232 Why don't you just let him sleep it off here in the truck? 1004 00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:21,874 Come for a ride with me, and come back for him later. 1005 00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,351 Okay. 1006 00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:36,193 ( Woman ) ##" Today we took a walk ##" 1007 00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,596 ##" Up the street And picked a flower ##" 1008 00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,234 ##" And climbed the hill Above the lake ##" 1009 00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,193 ( Maggie ) Well, he's been drinking more and more since my mom passed away. 1010 00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:48,073 ( Ike ) So, that's when you quit school to come back here? 1011 00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:52,034 ( Maggie ) Yeah, I had to come run the store for my dad. 1012 00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:54,879 ( Ike ) Well, my dad had a small printing business. 1013 00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,071 He wanted me to become a classical musician. 1014 00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,350 My mother wanted me to be a novelist. 1015 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,797 They were 0 for 2. 1016 01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:12,551 More? So, I, um-- 1017 01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,433 I became a reporter. 1018 01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:19,114 Not quite a novelist, but as we all know, 1019 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:23,028 journalism is literature in a hurry. 1020 01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:29,196 ##" And I never saw blue like that ##" 1021 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,595 ##" Before ##" 1022 01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:34,154 ##" Across the sky ##" 1023 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,475 - ( Engine Sputtering ) - What? What? What is this? 1024 01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,431 What kind of gas did you put in here? Diesel? 1025 01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:40,869 I don't know. The pump closest to the car. 1026 01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,036 - ( Engine Races, Stalls, Backfires ) - Whoa! 1027 01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:49,155 ( Maggie ) This car takes unleaded. Your filter is clogged. 1028 01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:51,669 - ( Ike ) Can you fix it? - I'm gonna need to get some tools. 1029 01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:53,916 - ( Slams Hood ) - Oh, good. ( Sighs ) 1030 01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:56,156 Kinda isolated here. 1031 01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,396 Yeah, it's nice. 1032 01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:02,671 Well, if there's one thing us New Yorkers know how to do, 1033 01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:05,314 that's... hail a cab! 1034 01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,431 If there's no cab, we walk. 1035 01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,870 Uh, well-- if we saved your battery here-- 1036 01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,833 um, there's a place just down the way. 1037 01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,952 We country girls cut across the field. It's quicker. 1038 01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,271 Oh! Be careful of, um, snakes. 1039 01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:28,316 - What? - Snakes. 1040 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,237 I don't like snakes. 1041 01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,430 Walk nice. They won't get ya. 1042 01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:39,389 - Come on, come on. Come on. Come on! - Wha-- What are you doing? 1043 01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,511 Snake dance? 1044 01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,154 I'm scaring the snakes. 1045 01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:48,273 - You're scaring me. - ( Chuckles ) I'm scaring myself. 1046 01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:54,356 ( Maggie ) Do you think there's one right person for everybody? 1047 01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:58,268 ( Ike, Sighing ) No, but I think attraction is too often... 1048 01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:00,470 mistaken for rightness. 1049 01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:03,910 Attraction's very misleading. It's. uh-- 1050 01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,276 Yes, it is. And it doesn't mean anything. 1051 01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,675 - No. No, no. No, no. - Give me your arm. 1052 01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:12,360 It means-- 1053 01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:26,075 I, uh, suddenly forgot how to climb a fence. ( Chuckles ) 1054 01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,359 - Tools. - Tools. Yeah. 1055 01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,192 Lionel? Do you have tools? 1056 01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,949 Hey, Maggie. What are you gonna do, bust out of another wedding? 1057 01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:49,196 ( Giggles ) 1058 01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:52,392 ( Ike ) Sure are well known 'round here. 1059 01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:55,273 No, no, no. No, Fish. It's almost done. I swear. 1060 01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,277 This story's taken a very interesting turn. 1061 01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:59,595 I got one more interview to do, up in New York. 1062 01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:03,110 - I'll see you there later. -##" From my head To my heart ##" 1063 01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:07,119 ##" K'iss and find a way They're so far apart ##"##" 1064 01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:09,515 ( Horn Beeping ) 1065 01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:12,791 You could have told me that you were fiance number three. 1066 01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:14,797 And end up in the papers? 1067 01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:18,276 I've been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime, thank you. 1068 01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,709 I was travelling around. 1069 01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,389 studying the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts... 1070 01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,317 when Maggie met me. 1071 01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,477 Tell me, George, why do you think she ran? 1072 01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,239 Just like you said. What did you call her? A maneater? 1073 01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:36,239 ''Devouring death-goddess. '' all right? 1074 01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:38,794 That's what I said. I don't think that's why she ran. 1075 01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:41,309 - So, why do you think she ran? - I don't know. 1076 01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:44,557 - I'm workin' on it. I was on the wrong track. - Are you defending her? 1077 01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:48,514 ( Scoffs ) N-No! No, I call it like I see it, that's all. 1078 01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,598 - I'm a journalist. I'm a truth-teller. - Unbelievable! 1079 01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:53,517 - What? - She got to you too. 1080 01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:55,995 - Like a moth to a flame. - ( Laughing ) Please! 1081 01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:57,917 -Join the club. - What are you talking about? 1082 01:03:58,040 --> 01:03:59,917 I think that you need this much more than I do. 1083 01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,474 - I am a journalist, I'm doing an article-- - ( Laughing ) 1084 01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:05,034 Look, see? See, I'm being paid. This will be published. 1085 01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:08,994 It's a cover story. I will tell the-- You will get all the facts, in the article. 1086 01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:11,111 Do you know what kind of eggs she liked? 1087 01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:14,118 - ( Clicks Recorder ) - Poached. 1088 01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:16,037 Same as me. 1089 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:20,756 ##" Lost inside of you That's what hurts ##"##" 1090 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,311 ( Car Alarm Wailing. Horns Beeping ) 1091 01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,989 ( Fisher ) Overpriced apartment and Chinese takeout. That's New York living. 1092 01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:31,351 Fisher, don't forget the fortune cookies. 1093 01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:35,189 - Oh. I already read the fortune. You don't want to know. - Ohh! 1094 01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:38,232 - He makes me crazy. -##"##" ( Piano ) 1095 01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:41,158 Hostility is a very important part of your foreplay, isn't it? 1096 01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:44,829 Well, it takes three people to make our marriage work: him, me and our therapist. 1097 01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,156 ( Chuckles ) 1098 01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:53,919 Ellie, what went wrong? 1099 01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,873 With us. With the two of us, I mean. 1100 01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:59,673 You know, it's been-- been a long time. 1101 01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:02,155 ( Chuckles ) Do you remember? 1102 01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:04,999 Y-Yeah. Do I remember? ( Laughs ) 1103 01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:07,759 Of course I do. 1104 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:10,952 Is that what-- Did I do the same-- 1105 01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:13,389 Is that what happened? Did I just... 1106 01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:16,034 not see you? 1107 01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:20,796 No. No, you didn't. 1108 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,356 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ellie. 1109 01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:33,960 I'm sorry too, Ike. 1110 01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,797 Wow. That only took us twelve years to say. 1111 01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:41,673 - ( Ellie Giggling ) - I saw that, you cad. 1112 01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:44,678 You asked for it, you got it. Here you go. 1113 01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:46,597 My dear. 1114 01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:49,029 There you are. Get your fortune. Let me see what-- 1115 01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:52,072 All right, Confucius say, ''Man who leave wife alone with ex-husband... 1116 01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:53,997 may leave altogether.'' 1117 01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:55,599 - ( Laughing ) - Uh-huh. 1118 01:05:55,800 --> 01:05:58,155 - ( Man ) Lights are scary. - ( Man #2 ) Hope it's better than last year. 1119 01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,714 ( Woman ) Or the last ten years. ( Laughing ) 1120 01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:02,637 ##"##" ( Hawaiian Drums ) 1121 01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:04,751 ( Laughing. Cheering. Whistling ) 1122 01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:16,870 ( Mrs Trout ) A hand for our fabulous hula dancers. 1123 01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:20,276 There they are. K'ing and Queen. 1124 01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,713 ## ( Singing In Hawaiian Language ) 1125 01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:29,516 Walter, I'm thinking about going back to my maiden name. 1126 01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:31,437 Can you still remember it? 1127 01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:34,791 I'm not-- It's not-- You know, 1128 01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:36,956 It's just I haven't seen him in... 1129 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,072 24 hours, and I would... 1130 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,317 feel better if I knew where he was. 1131 01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:48,116 - You see? - ##" In a little grass shack In K'ealakekua. Hawaii ##"##" 1132 01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:50,959 ( Lou ) Welcome to our annual luau. What can I get you? 1133 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:55,153 Aloha. Mr Trout. Uh-- 1134 01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:57,316 Have you got something without a toy in it? 1135 01:06:57,440 --> 01:06:59,670 ##"##" ( Country ) 1136 01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:01,597 ( Man ) Get down. sweetheart. 1137 01:07:02,680 --> 01:07:05,194 Yeah? 1138 01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:07,754 - ( Crowd Oohs ) - Oh, I'm hearing it. Here. 1139 01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:14,071 Aloha. 1140 01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:18,109 That's a very fetching headdress you're wearing. 1141 01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:24,714 Where did-- Where did you disappear to? 1142 01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:27,717 Missed me bad, huh? 1143 01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:32,677 ( Mrs Trout ) We have our winner right here! 1144 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:35,917 Yeah! Oh. all right. Bob. 1145 01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:39,191 Well, it's chow time here on the islands, 1146 01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:43,552 and we Trouts have prepared our traditional feast: ''Shrimp Trout.'' 1147 01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,750 So. let's all. uh. meet over at the tables. 1148 01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:47,677 You're not allergic to shrimp, are you? 1149 01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:49,631 - Mm-mm. No. - Oh. Pity. 1150 01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:59,752 Attention! Pay attention to Walter. 1151 01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:02,758 Listen closely, he slurs. ( Laughs ) 1152 01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:06,920 In the tradition that has grown on over the years. 1153 01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:08,837 it is now toast time. 1154 01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:13,511 First up. our host. Lou-- a honey of a beekeeper-- Trout. 1155 01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,870 ( Clapping ) 1156 01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:17,831 ( Whistling ) 1157 01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:20,838 May the groom's heart be filled with hope... 1158 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:23,110 and the bride's feet filled with lead. 1159 01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:25,071 ( Crowd Laughing ) 1160 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:30,553 May the pitter-patter of little feet not be Maggie's. 1161 01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:32,955 ( Crowd Laughing ) 1162 01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:37,553 May the gifts be returnable. 1163 01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:42,277 - ( Man ) I took mine back. - ( Walter ) You know the old saying, 1164 01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:45,676 ''You're not losing a daughter''? Well, I'd like to! 1165 01:08:45,800 --> 01:08:48,189 ( Laughing Continues ) 1166 01:08:48,320 --> 01:08:51,437 ( Walter ) Maggie may not be Hale's longest-running joke, 1167 01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:53,357 but she is certainly the fastest! 1168 01:08:53,480 --> 01:08:56,313 ( Laughing, Clapping ) 1169 01:08:56,440 --> 01:08:58,351 Good one, Dad. 1170 01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:02,230 ( Cindy ) Uncle Walter, maybe Mr Graham-- 1171 01:09:02,360 --> 01:09:05,352 Ah! Here we are. Would you like to say something, Mr Graham? 1172 01:09:05,480 --> 01:09:08,552 Yeah, just a minute. Just a minute. I don't know yet. 1173 01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:11,638 - You okay? - Come on, Ike. Take a shot at Maggie live. 1174 01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:15,833 - It's much more fun than print. - Excuse me? 1175 01:09:15,960 --> 01:09:17,996 - Well, it's a joke. They're kidding, Ike. - Uh-huh. 1176 01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:19,917 Yeah, come on. Come on, let's go. 1177 01:09:20,040 --> 01:09:22,952 ( Thumping Tables. Shouting Encouragement ) 1178 01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:24,877 All right. I'll add a toast! 1179 01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:27,275 ( Together ) Yeah! Come on! 1180 01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:30,790 To, uh, to Maggie's family and friends. 1181 01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:35,869 May you find yourselves the bull's-eye... 1182 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,639 of an easy target. 1183 01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:42,912 May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices, 1184 01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:46,316 and may your noses... 1185 01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:48,237 be rubbed in all of your mistakes. 1186 01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:56,078 Well, that was funny. But enough toasting. Let's hula! 1187 01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:59,954 Everybody! Let's get up and start the band! 1188 01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:02,878 Up. everybody. We're gonna make a line right down here. 1189 01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:05,389 - Everybody up. - Maggie. 1190 01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:07,909 - Maggie? - Lou. where are those hula dancers? 1191 01:10:08,040 --> 01:10:10,474 - Honey. go find the girls. - Here. She might need this. 1192 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:12,875 - Everybody gets a hula lesson! - Where'd Maggie go to? 1193 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,150 Oh, she just went to get me something from her car. 1194 01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,669 - Well, maybe she needs help. - Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob! 1195 01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:19,597 - Okay. The guard. Who threw the block. - Yeah. 1196 01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:21,551 - Okay? Forrest Gregg. - No, no, no. Elijah Pitts. 1197 01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:23,830 - He was a running back. - The Fridge. ''Refrigerator'' Perry? 1198 01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:29,633 - Maggie? Hey. - ( Groans ) 1199 01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:32,228 ( Panting ) Here's a coat. Put this coat on. It's cold out here. 1200 01:10:32,360 --> 01:10:34,430 Don't pretend to be a nice person! 1201 01:10:34,560 --> 01:10:37,154 I was the only person in there defending you. 1202 01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:40,238 - You humiliated me! - No, Maggie. I defended you. 1203 01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:43,113 Humiliating you is what everyone else did in there! 1204 01:10:43,240 --> 01:10:45,435 - That is the theme of the party tonight. - No. no. 1205 01:10:45,560 --> 01:10:48,518 It was under control, now they all feel sorry for me. 1206 01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:51,108 Well, they should. They're about to see you hang yourself again. 1207 01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:53,515 - Well, what do you keep-- - Tell me something. Do you really care... 1208 01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:55,631 about Mount Everest? 1209 01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:59,196 I-- It's fun. It's high! 1210 01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:01,197 Sexual practices of locusts? 1211 01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:06,110 ( Maggie ) Every one of those times. I was being supportive. 1212 01:11:06,240 --> 01:11:10,631 Not supportive! You weren't being supportive, you were scared. 1213 01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:13,593 You were scared then. you're scared now. 1214 01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:15,836 You are the most lost woman I have-- 1215 01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,474 - Lost? - Yes, lost. You're so-- 1216 01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:21,956 You were so lost, you didn't even know what kind of eggs you like. 1217 01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:25,390 - Yes! Yes. - What? 1218 01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:27,750 Yes, that's right. With the priest, you wanted scrambled. 1219 01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:29,677 With the Deadhead, it was fried. 1220 01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:32,189 With the other guy, the bug guy, it was-- it was poached. 1221 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:35,869 Now, it's like, ''Oh, egg whites only, thank you very much.'' 1222 01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:38,753 That is called ''changing your mind.'' 1223 01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:41,394 No, that's called not having a mind of your own! 1224 01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:43,351 Maggie, what are you doing? 1225 01:11:43,480 --> 01:11:46,790 You really want that guy up there to drag you up Annapurna? 1226 01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:48,717 For your honeymoon? 1227 01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:51,274 You do not want to climb Annapurna! 1228 01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:53,630 Yes, I do! 1229 01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:57,912 ( Sighs ) 1230 01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,600 No, you don't. 1231 01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:05,032 You want a man who'll lead you down the beach... 1232 01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:07,390 with his hand over your eyes... 1233 01:12:07,520 --> 01:12:11,035 just so you can discover the feel of sand under your feet. 1234 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:16,439 You want a guy that'll wake you up at dawn... 1235 01:12:17,480 --> 01:12:19,277 because he's bursting to talk to you. 1236 01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:23,075 Can't wait another minute, just to find out what you'll say. 1237 01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:30,669 Am I right? 1238 01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:38,120 Stop it. ( Chuckling ) 1239 01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:43,313 I am getting married on Sunday. 1240 01:12:43,440 --> 01:12:47,513 And you are just trying to make me run, 1241 01:12:47,640 --> 01:12:52,077 because you're a cynical, exploitative, 1242 01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:54,475 mean-hearted creep... 1243 01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:57,637 who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit. 1244 01:12:57,760 --> 01:13:00,718 ( Gasping ) All you do is-- 1245 01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:02,796 is tear others down, 1246 01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:05,832 and-and laugh at them, and criticize what they do, 1247 01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:09,270 because you're too afraid to do anything yourself. 1248 01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:15,510 I read your columns. You never once... 1249 01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:18,154 wrote anything about yourself. 1250 01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:21,590 ( Scoffs ) I am not the only one... 1251 01:13:21,720 --> 01:13:23,756 that is lost. 1252 01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:26,831 And you know it. 1253 01:13:29,160 --> 01:13:30,957 Am I right? 1254 01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:36,753 Am... I... right? 1255 01:13:40,680 --> 01:13:44,309 ( Bob ) Mag? Hey! Help me out here. 1256 01:13:44,440 --> 01:13:49,639 Green Bay right guard. Uh, uh, you know, Bart Starr? Uh-- 1257 01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:54,108 - You okay? - Yes. ( Chuckles Nervously ) 1258 01:13:55,320 --> 01:13:57,356 -##"##" ( Hawaiian Drums ) - ( Clears Throat ) 1259 01:13:59,080 --> 01:14:01,275 - Take you inside. Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 1260 01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:03,197 Okay. 1261 01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:08,714 - ( Maggie ) Jerry K'ramer. -Jerry Kramer! 1262 01:14:08,840 --> 01:14:10,990 ( Continues Talking, Indistinct ) 1263 01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:13,076 ##"##" ( Drums Continue ) 1264 01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:21,349 - Grandma. What's for lunch? - Turkey and cheese. 1265 01:14:21,480 --> 01:14:24,950 Honey, your grandmother and I are thinking about having a wedding gift museum. 1266 01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:27,150 ( Chuckles ) 1267 01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:30,272 - Stop. - What? 1268 01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:33,039 Stop. Don't say another word like that. 1269 01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:34,957 - Maggie, it was just a joke. - No! 1270 01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:38,311 It's humiliating. and it's gone on long enough. 1271 01:14:38,440 --> 01:14:42,752 You may not like that you have a daughter with problems. 1272 01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:45,519 But guess what. 1273 01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:49,076 I don't like that I have a father who's drunk all the time. 1274 01:14:51,440 --> 01:14:53,317 I'll eat in my room. 1275 01:14:57,440 --> 01:15:00,273 ( Cindy ) Okay. Tell me why Maggie's having another rehearsal? 1276 01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:03,039 And two days before the wedding. She's already done this! 1277 01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:06,197 ( Peggy ) Well, Bob insisted she visualize the ceremony. 1278 01:15:06,320 --> 01:15:08,550 Okay! We're ready! ( Exhales ) 1279 01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:10,477 Do you want me to have Ike leave now? 1280 01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:13,751 Uh, actually, let's make Ike the pastor. 1281 01:15:13,880 --> 01:15:16,075 - Ah, I'd rather not. - No, it'll give you a great view. 1282 01:15:16,200 --> 01:15:18,794 - I think it's perfect. Okay? Hey. - Hey! 1283 01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:23,516 - Okay! Team effort, Pastor Ike. - ( Indistinct ) 1284 01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:26,029 - He's going to be the pastor? - Yes. 1285 01:15:26,160 --> 01:15:29,038 Yes, because I want him front and centre... 1286 01:15:29,160 --> 01:15:31,276 so he can just see everything. 1287 01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:33,675 - Have a seat. Right there. That's it. - Okay. 1288 01:15:33,800 --> 01:15:36,473 Cindy! Foyer. 1289 01:15:36,600 --> 01:15:38,636 ( Takes Deep Breath ) 1290 01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:41,911 ( Groans ) Ready? 1291 01:15:42,040 --> 01:15:44,474 What happened at the luau? 1292 01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:48,957 I-- I don't-- I-- I don't want to talk about the luau, okay? 1293 01:15:50,480 --> 01:15:52,357 - What is this? - That's for the bell. 1294 01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:55,358 - Oh. Oh. - Bob's in a hurry. 1295 01:15:55,480 --> 01:15:57,869 - ( Bob ) Girls? - Okay, Maggie. 1296 01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:01,037 - Remember what Bob said: let us visualize. Be the ball. - Sink the putt. 1297 01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:03,515 - Make the shot. Never say die. - Nothin' but net. 1298 01:16:03,640 --> 01:16:07,349 - Move your butts. - ( Bob ) Girls! Where are you? 1299 01:16:08,440 --> 01:16:10,476 ( Cindy ) We're on our way. Coach. 1300 01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:14,036 ( Sighs ) Oh. This is the bell. 1301 01:16:14,160 --> 01:16:16,230 - Ooh. - ( Bell Ringing ) 1302 01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:18,157 - Duh-- Whoa! - ( Thudding ) 1303 01:16:18,280 --> 01:16:21,113 - ( Bell Continues ) - ( Maggie Screaming. Laughing ) 1304 01:16:21,240 --> 01:16:23,037 ( Bell Continues ) 1305 01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:25,913 Whoa! Tough whup-- Whoa! 1306 01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:27,837 ( Giggling ) 1307 01:16:27,960 --> 01:16:31,953 - What's she doing? - She's ''being the bell,'' instead of the ball. 1308 01:16:33,880 --> 01:16:37,270 ( Imitating Quasimodo ) ''Sanctuary. Sanctuary.'' 1309 01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:39,595 - ( Maggie Giggling ) - Mags, you okay? 1310 01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:42,280 ( Ringing ) 1311 01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:46,912 Anyway. ( Sniffs, Chuckles ) 1312 01:16:47,040 --> 01:16:50,874 Oh. 1313 01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,992 ##"##" ( Organ.' ''The Wedding March'') 1314 01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:00,957 ##"##" ( Continues ) 1315 01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:07,599 ( Breathes Deeply ) Look, at this pace, this could become an evening wedding. 1316 01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:10,075 Okay, okay. You know something? 1317 01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:13,749 It's great. I just think we're taking this a little too fast. Right? 1318 01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:16,838 You're tensing? You feel it? Right? 1319 01:17:16,960 --> 01:17:18,757 We just need to limber you up. 1320 01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,677 - Ike, come here. Come here. - Yeah. 1321 01:17:20,800 --> 01:17:23,394 You're me. Stand here so she knows how far she's gotta come. 1322 01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:26,398 Honey? I'm gonna walk with you. Okay? And-- 1323 01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:29,671 Now he's the groom? 1324 01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:31,916 Just relax. Limber. Visualize, visualize. 1325 01:17:32,040 --> 01:17:34,315 - ( Exhales Sharply ) - Relax. Limber. 1326 01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,670 - ( Chuckling ) - And-- 1327 01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:40,713 And... 1328 01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:43,035 you are the football spiralling... 1329 01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:44,957 - through the air... - ##"##" ( Organ ) 1330 01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:47,116 to the waiting hands of the groom-- 1331 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:50,994 ''I'm spiralling through the air, 1332 01:17:51,120 --> 01:17:53,475 I am... 1333 01:17:55,680 --> 01:18:00,470 streaking toward the... 1334 01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:02,716 goal line... 1335 01:18:07,240 --> 01:18:10,232 ( Bob ) K'eep eye contact. keep eye contact-- 1336 01:18:10,360 --> 01:18:12,157 and I land on the goal line.'' 1337 01:18:12,280 --> 01:18:14,635 ( Bob ) Good. Good. 1338 01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:16,557 Good. okay. And I'm the pastor. and I say. 1339 01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:18,955 ''Dearly Beloved. uh. we're gathered here-- 1340 01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:21,833 blah blah blah blah. so on and so forth. rat-a-tat-tat. yabba dabba-- 1341 01:18:21,960 --> 01:18:24,076 Uh. I now pronounce you man and wife. '' 1342 01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:26,395 - Kiss the bride, we have the organ crescendo. - ##"##" ( Organ ) 1343 01:18:26,520 --> 01:18:29,671 That just leads us right down the aisle! 1344 01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:33,110 And we are man and-- 1345 01:18:34,280 --> 01:18:36,748 ##"##" ( ''Wedding March'' Continues ) 1346 01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:47,116 ##"##" ( Ends ) 1347 01:18:47,240 --> 01:18:49,674 No-o! 1348 01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:53,588 ( Bob ) Maggie? Uh, Ma-- 1349 01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:59,516 ( Maggie And Ike Laughing ) 1350 01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:02,473 Okay, okay. Well, okay. Okay, so if you, uh-- 1351 01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:04,397 If you were imagining me, you did grea-- 1352 01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:07,080 - What the hell were you doing? - Uh, Bob, I'm really sorry about th-- 1353 01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:08,997 She kissed me back. 1354 01:19:09,120 --> 01:19:11,998 - I kissed you back? - Yes, you did. You kissed me back. 1355 01:19:12,120 --> 01:19:14,111 Yeah, caught that. 1356 01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:16,834 You want to tell me how long this has been going on? 1357 01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:20,953 - About a minute. - A little longer for me. 1358 01:19:21,080 --> 01:19:22,911 Really? 1359 01:19:23,040 --> 01:19:25,838 What do you expect me to say to this? 1360 01:19:25,960 --> 01:19:28,997 - Hello? - Well, Bob, you could say, uh, 1361 01:19:29,120 --> 01:19:31,793 ''Well, I hope you two will be really happy together.'' 1362 01:19:34,280 --> 01:19:37,716 I hope you two will be really happy together. 1363 01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:40,513 - ( Ike Moaning ) - Uh, uh-- Take care of him. 1364 01:19:40,640 --> 01:19:42,596 - ( Moaning ) - Are you okay? 1365 01:19:42,720 --> 01:19:44,517 Yeah, yeah. 1366 01:19:47,880 --> 01:19:51,077 ( Maggie ) Bob? Bob! 1367 01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:53,668 Bob, I'm sorry. I'm-- I-- 1368 01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:56,189 At least this time I backed out before the wedding! 1369 01:19:56,320 --> 01:19:58,117 That's progress! 1370 01:19:58,240 --> 01:20:00,071 You are going to find some woman... 1371 01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:03,237 who can make you so much happier than I ever could! 1372 01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:06,158 - Look out. - Ooh! See? 1373 01:20:06,280 --> 01:20:08,157 See? It's happening already. 1374 01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:10,157 - She's good with needy men. - Yeah. 1375 01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:14,717 ( Gasps ) Uh, yeah. Well, um-- 1376 01:20:14,840 --> 01:20:18,389 Why don't you just call me later? 1377 01:20:18,520 --> 01:20:20,556 - Okay. - ( Cindy ) Bob? 1378 01:20:20,680 --> 01:20:23,990 This may not be a good time, but here's my number. 1379 01:20:24,120 --> 01:20:26,475 - ( Engine Starting ) - ( Cindy ) Drive safely. Bob! 1380 01:20:28,760 --> 01:20:30,910 Kid wants to lock up, go home. 1381 01:20:31,040 --> 01:20:33,349 ( Car Racing Away ) 1382 01:20:33,480 --> 01:20:36,040 - How's Bob? - Mm. 1383 01:20:36,160 --> 01:20:39,311 - Okay. - ( Tyres Screeching ) 1384 01:20:39,440 --> 01:20:42,113 So, what just happened just now? 1385 01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,913 - Then. In there. - I don't know. I-I-- 1386 01:20:45,040 --> 01:20:49,352 I frankly-- I don't even want to talk about it. 1387 01:20:49,480 --> 01:20:51,596 Me neither. ( Chuckling ) 1388 01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:57,991 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 1389 01:20:58,120 --> 01:21:00,634 Wait. No, no, no. No, we can't-- 1390 01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:02,557 - Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. - ( Moaning ) 1391 01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:04,477 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We gotta-- - ( Moaning Continues ) 1392 01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:06,795 We have to talk. We have to talk! 1393 01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:08,876 We have to do some talking now, all right? 1394 01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:10,911 Just come over here. 1395 01:21:11,040 --> 01:21:13,600 - Pull up a-- Pull up a rail. - I was enjoying it. 1396 01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:16,553 - Okay. - ( Sighs ) All right. 1397 01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:20,639 - We're-- Just give me a little space here. - Okay. 1398 01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:24,196 - ( Clears Throat ) - I'm-- All right. 1399 01:21:28,440 --> 01:21:30,795 Do you think may-- ( Sighs ) 1400 01:21:33,160 --> 01:21:35,833 Well, you do have a dress. 1401 01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:39,511 And the church. 1402 01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:41,756 And the wedding date. 1403 01:21:42,840 --> 01:21:45,513 And there's the two of us. 1404 01:21:45,640 --> 01:21:47,995 Maybe... 1405 01:21:51,280 --> 01:21:53,555 You do have to go down the aisle... 1406 01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:55,671 with somebody... 1407 01:21:55,800 --> 01:21:58,109 that you love... 1408 01:21:58,240 --> 01:22:00,231 and who loves you back. 1409 01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:02,316 Who? 1410 01:22:18,440 --> 01:22:20,237 I'm okay with that. 1411 01:22:23,880 --> 01:22:25,916 So am I. 1412 01:22:31,720 --> 01:22:36,271 - ( Tape Recorder Clicks ) - I'm getting married. 1413 01:22:38,760 --> 01:22:40,478 ##"##" ( Rock Guitar ) 1414 01:22:46,520 --> 01:22:49,830 - You do this often? - Well, there's not a lot to do around here. 1415 01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:53,957 I just believe he's listening to you. 1416 01:22:54,080 --> 01:22:56,833 His hair, any colour-- 1417 01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:58,757 I like his tight butt. 1418 01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:02,150 - Grandma. - Well, I do. 1419 01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:04,077 Look, I'll see you at the wedding then. Right? 1420 01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:08,796 - You're gonna be there, huh? It's gonna be in 37 hours. - I didn't miss the first one. 1421 01:23:08,920 --> 01:23:12,230 We're gonna spend part of the time here in town, 'cause he wants to write a book. 1422 01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:14,430 Well, you always wanted to write a novel! 1423 01:23:14,560 --> 01:23:18,109 I feel inspired here. I feel-- I feel like I can write. I wanna write. 1424 01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:20,390 Ike is getting married! 1425 01:23:20,520 --> 01:23:23,751 ( Laughing ) 1426 01:23:23,880 --> 01:23:25,996 Fisher, if you pee on that Persian, I'm gonna kill you. 1427 01:23:26,120 --> 01:23:27,997 Hi! It's him. He's on the phone. 1428 01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:36,559 - Hi. Hi. - Hi. 1429 01:23:36,680 --> 01:23:39,672 - ( Sighs ) What are you doing? - Nothin'. 1430 01:23:39,800 --> 01:23:42,189 - Pick that up. - ( Ike ) What are you doing? 1431 01:23:42,320 --> 01:23:44,834 - That's all right. That's all right. - Nothin'. 1432 01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:47,235 Wow, I see the most beautiful girl-- 1433 01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:50,880 ( Whispers ) He can see me! 1434 01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:53,195 That's trump. 1435 01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:56,232 Ah! Double dutch! Double du-- ( Laughing ) 1436 01:23:56,360 --> 01:23:58,271 You were trying to cheat. It doesn't work. 1437 01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:04,709 ( Woman ) ##" Get to me magically Sure as the sky is blue ##" 1438 01:24:04,840 --> 01:24:07,434 - ##" Yeah ##" - ( Gasps ) Oh, my God. ( Screams ) 1439 01:24:07,560 --> 01:24:09,437 - ( Screams ) - I'm the winner! 1440 01:24:10,560 --> 01:24:12,551 See now, this is a mature relationship. 1441 01:24:12,680 --> 01:24:15,433 ##" Dramatically acting Erratically need you ##" 1442 01:24:15,560 --> 01:24:18,279 ##" Fanatically You get to me magically ##" 1443 01:24:18,400 --> 01:24:23,554 ##" Sure as the sky is blue ##" 1444 01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:27,832 ##" Baby. I love you ##" 1445 01:24:27,960 --> 01:24:30,758 ##" Do you love me too ##" 1446 01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:35,830 ##" Baby. I love you ##"##" 1447 01:24:35,960 --> 01:24:39,077 ( Church Bell Ringing ) 1448 01:24:39,200 --> 01:24:41,191 ( Woman ) Wedding bells are ringing today in Hale. Maryland. 1449 01:24:41,320 --> 01:24:44,357 Maggie Carpenter-- always a bride. never a bridesmaid-- 1450 01:24:44,480 --> 01:24:47,472 is attempting to complete her fourth wedding ceremony. 1451 01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:50,353 We'll be back when results are in. Back to you,Jessica. 1452 01:24:50,480 --> 01:24:52,277 Well, the turnout for this morning's ceremony... 1453 01:24:52,400 --> 01:24:54,630 is usually saved for royalty or Hollywood movie stars, 1454 01:24:54,760 --> 01:24:57,035 but Maggie Carpenter is Hale, Maryland's very own-- 1455 01:24:57,160 --> 01:24:59,674 Get your T-shirts here. I got ''Bye-Bye Bridey.'' 1456 01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:02,075 I got, ''What part of'I do' don't you understand?'' 1457 01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:04,395 Hey, get your ''Runaway Bride'' T-shirts here. 1458 01:25:04,520 --> 01:25:08,718 Will she or won't she? That is on the minds of these several hundred folks here. 1459 01:25:08,840 --> 01:25:12,628 not to mention on the mind of groom number four, who is missing in action. 1460 01:25:12,760 --> 01:25:15,513 - He's gonna stand me up. - Oh, of course he's gonna come. 1461 01:25:15,640 --> 01:25:19,076 Because today I saw eight geese flying in a ''V. '' 1462 01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:21,236 Oh, you with the lucky geese. You always see geese! 1463 01:25:21,360 --> 01:25:23,271 - Not eight! - Eight, and in a ''V.'' 1464 01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:26,153 - ( Stammers ) Eight is better? - Eight in a ''V.'' 1465 01:25:26,280 --> 01:25:29,636 - Can you imagine? - ''V.'' ''V'' for, uh, ''Victory''! 1466 01:25:29,760 --> 01:25:31,830 - Victory! - Victory! 1467 01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:34,520 - And... ''velcro.'' - Okay. 1468 01:25:34,640 --> 01:25:36,471 Velcro is stuck together! 1469 01:25:36,600 --> 01:25:38,238 ''Virginal.'' 1470 01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:40,316 - ( Mutters ) - Well, 1471 01:25:40,440 --> 01:25:43,591 - you know-- - I'm sweaty, I'm-I'm nervous-- Where are my bags? 1472 01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:45,517 - Okay. - No bags. Bags are for later. 1473 01:25:45,640 --> 01:25:47,517 Um, rub your ears. Rub your ears. 1474 01:25:47,640 --> 01:25:49,517 Rub your ears. That's a great idea. 1475 01:25:49,640 --> 01:25:51,915 That's a very good idea. Rub your ears. 1476 01:25:52,040 --> 01:25:54,110 Cory does that to me sometimes. with a little-- 1477 01:25:54,240 --> 01:25:57,994 - ( Imitates Masseur ) And you just, whoo! - We do it to the dog. 1478 01:25:58,120 --> 01:26:00,031 ( Man ) Get your ''I Don't Think She Will''shirt. 1479 01:26:00,160 --> 01:26:02,720 These shirts are not sold in stores! 1480 01:26:02,840 --> 01:26:05,513 ( Reporters Scream In Recognition ) 1481 01:26:05,640 --> 01:26:08,757 - Here comes Ike Graham! - Show time! 1482 01:26:11,080 --> 01:26:14,311 That's better. That's, uh... pretty nice, actually. 1483 01:26:14,440 --> 01:26:16,715 - Yeah? - ( Maggie ) Yeah. - ( Peggy ) He's here! 1484 01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:20,150 ( Screams ) Who's here? ( Screams ) I see him! 1485 01:26:20,280 --> 01:26:22,475 And Ike Graham has arrived at the church. 1486 01:26:22,600 --> 01:26:24,556 ( clamouring ) 1487 01:26:24,680 --> 01:26:27,194 - ( Woman #1 ) Is this your first marriage? - Is this your last marriage? 1488 01:26:27,320 --> 01:26:30,471 - ( Man ) Any little Grahams in the future? - ( Man #2 ) He gets whacked! 1489 01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:33,194 ( Hyperventilating ) All right. Okay. First. Yes. Okay. 1490 01:26:33,320 --> 01:26:36,073 All right. Okay. Okay. 1491 01:26:36,200 --> 01:26:39,397 - Who makes this? Who? - All right. The veil is not attacking you. 1492 01:26:39,520 --> 01:26:44,310 - ( Breathlessly ) Okay. Okay. - Now is the time to calm down. 1493 01:26:44,440 --> 01:26:47,398 - Yes. - Because if you don't get calm, 1494 01:26:47,520 --> 01:26:49,511 we won't get your dress on. 1495 01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:52,108 ( Gasps ) A girl can't get married in flannel. 1496 01:26:54,280 --> 01:26:56,316 He's the one. 1497 01:26:56,440 --> 01:26:58,237 He really is the one. 1498 01:26:58,360 --> 01:27:01,318 - ( Clamouring ) - You're not invited! You got-- 1499 01:27:01,440 --> 01:27:03,351 Oh, you really-- Go back into your hole. 1500 01:27:03,480 --> 01:27:05,675 - He's the one! - ( Shrieking ) 1501 01:27:05,800 --> 01:27:07,597 He's the one! 1502 01:27:07,720 --> 01:27:09,915 We gotta hurry, 'cause the Sunday school kids are coming. 1503 01:27:10,040 --> 01:27:12,076 - Mrs Pressman-- - Don't worry. There's no microphone. 1504 01:27:12,200 --> 01:27:13,997 Please. Put it there. 1505 01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:15,917 - No fun. - No. No fun. 1506 01:27:16,040 --> 01:27:17,837 Listen, I was going to do this Scorsese thing, where I come down the aisle-- 1507 01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:20,394 - Whatever, just do it. Shoot, shoot. Shoot. - Ike. 1508 01:27:20,520 --> 01:27:23,114 - Friends! Oh, God. - ( Grunting ) 1509 01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:26,755 ( Panting ) God, thank you, thank you, thank you. 1510 01:27:26,880 --> 01:27:29,189 Thank you. We are friends, aren't we, Fisher? 1511 01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:32,232 - Of course we are, of course. - Yes, and you'll be my best man. 1512 01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:35,079 - I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm the best. -Just go over and see the pastor. 1513 01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:36,997 - He'll tell you what to do. - All right. 1514 01:27:37,120 --> 01:27:39,236 And someone will tell me what to do. 1515 01:27:39,360 --> 01:27:41,954 - ( Exhales ) - Mm. You always looked great in that suit. 1516 01:27:42,080 --> 01:27:46,232 And, Ike, I'm happy for you, honey. 1517 01:27:48,200 --> 01:27:50,794 I have a car waiting out back for you just in case she decides to run. 1518 01:27:52,080 --> 01:27:54,719 I have an invitation. Lou, he's with me. 1519 01:27:59,400 --> 01:28:01,231 - You look terrible. - ( Gasps ) 1520 01:28:01,360 --> 01:28:04,193 Thanks. 1521 01:28:04,320 --> 01:28:06,515 - Here. - ( Breathing Deeply ) 1522 01:28:06,640 --> 01:28:09,837 - Ike, I'm glad it's you. - Really? 1523 01:28:09,960 --> 01:28:11,757 I wouldn't want to have found out... 1524 01:28:11,880 --> 01:28:14,314 that I wasn't the one for her in the fourth quarter. 1525 01:28:16,720 --> 01:28:18,551 Well, Coach, any final advice? 1526 01:28:22,400 --> 01:28:24,868 - Maintain eye contact. - Eye contact. 1527 01:28:25,000 --> 01:28:27,560 Eye contact. Eye contact. Eye contact. 1528 01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:45,911 I'm not coming up here, it's just that you want to look... 1529 01:28:46,040 --> 01:28:47,837 just special for the wedding. 1530 01:28:47,960 --> 01:28:50,315 You know, you should thank me and Lou for lending you the wedding car. 1531 01:28:50,440 --> 01:28:52,237 - '63 Buick. - Thank you, Mrs Trout. 1532 01:28:52,360 --> 01:28:55,079 Oh, what are you saying? We're practically family. 1533 01:28:55,200 --> 01:28:57,077 - How's that there? - Hello. 1534 01:28:57,200 --> 01:29:00,192 - My name is Fisher. What's yours? - Nice. Betty. 1535 01:29:00,320 --> 01:29:02,117 That doesn't want to come out, does it? 1536 01:29:02,240 --> 01:29:04,390 - You just pulled a hair from my neck. - There we are. Okay. 1537 01:29:04,520 --> 01:29:06,795 Mrs Trout. Mrs Trout, please. This is my wedding. 1538 01:29:06,920 --> 01:29:09,195 - Yes! - Would you go and sit down? Thank you. We're starting soon. 1539 01:29:09,320 --> 01:29:11,629 - Who was that? - ( Sighs ) Mrs Trout. 1540 01:29:11,760 --> 01:29:13,910 - He doesn't have-- - Don't do-- Don't. Don't. 1541 01:29:14,040 --> 01:29:15,871 - I just wanted that to be able to-- - Don't. Don't. 1542 01:29:16,000 --> 01:29:21,028 - Over there in the pocket. Right in the pocket. That's it. - Please!Just go-- 1543 01:29:21,160 --> 01:29:23,833 - Good luck, sweet girl. - Oh! Thank you, Grandma. I love you. 1544 01:29:25,240 --> 01:29:28,710 - I'm really rooting for this one. - Okay, Dad. 1545 01:29:28,840 --> 01:29:32,355 ( Cory ) The place is packed. with the whole town of Hale on the bride's side. 1546 01:29:32,480 --> 01:29:34,277 and with many New Yorkers on the groom's side. 1547 01:29:34,400 --> 01:29:37,631 ( Chattering, Gossiping ) 1548 01:29:37,760 --> 01:29:39,990 - Is this taken? - No. 1549 01:29:41,520 --> 01:29:44,671 - I'm Elaine, from Manhattan. - I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt. 1550 01:29:44,800 --> 01:29:47,439 - I'm sorry. - That's okay. 1551 01:29:47,560 --> 01:29:52,554 There's a lid for every pot. And I'm-- I'm comfortable with Ike, you know. 1552 01:29:52,680 --> 01:29:57,117 It's like,Jack Dempsey lost his heavyweight title to a New Yorker. 1553 01:29:57,240 --> 01:29:59,310 Right. Gene Tunney. 1554 01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:04,878 - Oh. ( Spits ) - Spit. 1555 01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:08,117 Let's go. 1556 01:30:08,240 --> 01:30:11,118 Uh, okay. No sauntering down the aisle. 1557 01:30:11,240 --> 01:30:13,117 I don't like that. Just make time.Just get there. 1558 01:30:13,240 --> 01:30:15,037 - Fine. - Okay. 1559 01:30:15,160 --> 01:30:18,755 ##"##" ( Organ ) 1560 01:30:27,880 --> 01:30:30,394 All rise, please. 1561 01:30:34,880 --> 01:30:37,553 ##"##" ( Organ.' ''The Wedding March'') 1562 01:30:46,040 --> 01:30:47,917 The bride is walking down the aisle. 1563 01:30:48,040 --> 01:30:51,271 Maggie Carpenter is walking down the aisle. 1564 01:30:51,400 --> 01:30:54,233 ( Congregants Murmuring. Gasping ) 1565 01:30:54,360 --> 01:30:57,033 - ( Man ) Don't stop-- - Oh, she's pausing. 1566 01:30:57,160 --> 01:30:59,435 - ( Bob ) K'eep eye contact. - Come on, stay with me. 1567 01:30:59,560 --> 01:31:01,357 keep eye contact-- 1568 01:31:01,480 --> 01:31:03,471 ( Congregants Laughing ) 1569 01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:14,633 ( Preacher ) Please be seated. Thank you. 1570 01:31:14,760 --> 01:31:16,990 I sneaked in a camera. 1571 01:31:18,600 --> 01:31:22,513 ( Preacher ) We are gathered here today-- Please. no cameras now. 1572 01:31:22,640 --> 01:31:26,428 Could we hold off photos until the end of the ceremony? Thank you. 1573 01:31:26,560 --> 01:31:29,597 - Oh-- - We are gathered here today... - No! 1574 01:31:29,720 --> 01:31:32,029 - ( Preacher ) Where is she going? - ( Ike ) Don't! 1575 01:31:33,160 --> 01:31:35,799 - Maggie! - Lock the doors! 1576 01:31:38,360 --> 01:31:40,669 No, Maggie! Don't! 1577 01:31:46,920 --> 01:31:49,354 Oh, never a dull moment at a Maggie wedding! 1578 01:31:49,480 --> 01:31:51,277 There's a man coming down with candy in his pockets, 1579 01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:53,516 and if you tickle him he'll give you all of it. 1580 01:31:53,640 --> 01:31:56,712 - Here you go, little queen. - Maggie! 1581 01:31:56,840 --> 01:31:58,319 Maggie! 1582 01:31:58,440 --> 01:32:01,830 - ( Kids ) He's got candy! - Whoa, ho! No, no. Not me. 1583 01:32:01,960 --> 01:32:04,713 No. don't cry! Don't cry! 1584 01:32:04,840 --> 01:32:07,912 No, no! Get her! It's an Armani suit! 1585 01:32:08,040 --> 01:32:09,996 ( Grunts ) 1586 01:32:10,120 --> 01:32:12,350 Wait! 1587 01:32:14,040 --> 01:32:15,837 - Wait! - Maggie! 1588 01:32:17,000 --> 01:32:18,831 Go. Go. Go. go. 1589 01:32:20,640 --> 01:32:24,076 Maggie! Maggie! 1590 01:32:24,200 --> 01:32:29,149 Don't do it! Don't! Maggie! 1591 01:32:29,280 --> 01:32:32,272 - He's running after her. - He's in pretty good shape too. 1592 01:32:32,400 --> 01:32:35,870 Maggie! No, Maggie! 1593 01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:40,118 - Where do you think she's going? - Wherever it is, she'll be there by 1 0:30 tomorrow. 1594 01:32:41,320 --> 01:32:44,551 Maggie! Don't! 1595 01:32:50,200 --> 01:32:54,239 Maggie! Don't! No! 1596 01:32:54,360 --> 01:32:56,794 Maggie! 1597 01:33:02,280 --> 01:33:04,157 ( Together ) Mr Graham! Mr Graham! 1598 01:33:04,280 --> 01:33:06,953 ( Woman ) Mr Graham, how do you feel now? 1599 01:33:07,080 --> 01:33:09,196 ( Mooing ) 1600 01:33:10,720 --> 01:33:13,188 Mr Graham. What is your next move? 1601 01:33:13,320 --> 01:33:15,436 - How do you feel right now? - What will you do now? 1602 01:33:15,560 --> 01:33:17,471 ( Reporters Clamouring ) 1603 01:33:18,560 --> 01:33:20,710 Mr Graham, talk to us. 1604 01:33:20,840 --> 01:33:23,673 ( Male Reporter ) That's enough. Come on. Leave him alone. 1605 01:33:30,120 --> 01:33:34,272 ''Hardware Honey Goes Nuts And Bolts.'' How many times is she gonna do this? 1606 01:33:38,520 --> 01:33:43,719 ( Barbershop Quartet ) # Aura Lee, Aura Lee ## 1607 01:33:43,840 --> 01:33:46,638 ( Cory ) And finally. in local news. the mayor has requested... 1608 01:33:46,760 --> 01:33:48,671 that we all stop gossiping about last week's... 1609 01:33:48,800 --> 01:33:51,439 Maggie Carpenter almost wedding. 1610 01:33:51,560 --> 01:33:54,632 This is Cory Flemming. for WHALE. saying... 1611 01:33:54,760 --> 01:33:57,149 may the Good Lord make you smart enough to live in a small town. 1612 01:33:57,280 --> 01:33:59,271 And we cut. 1613 01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:02,039 Camera loves ya. 1614 01:34:03,960 --> 01:34:06,554 - Hey. you okay? - Yeah. 1615 01:34:06,680 --> 01:34:08,955 I'm closing. You want to go to Butch's for a drink? 1616 01:34:09,080 --> 01:34:11,833 Uh-- You know, I'm gonna finish up here, 1617 01:34:11,960 --> 01:34:13,916 and then I think I'll just head home. 1618 01:34:14,040 --> 01:34:17,396 Okay. 1619 01:34:17,520 --> 01:34:20,193 You know, 1620 01:34:20,320 --> 01:34:22,914 I was thinking about that ''V'' thing, 1621 01:34:23,040 --> 01:34:27,397 and I think the ''V'' in the geese was half... 1622 01:34:27,520 --> 01:34:30,398 of a ''W'' for-- 1623 01:34:30,520 --> 01:34:33,990 For, uh, W-W-W-W-- 1624 01:34:34,120 --> 01:34:36,395 - What are you talking about? - Wedding! Wedding! 1625 01:34:36,520 --> 01:34:40,035 You just gotta get the rest of your ducks in a row. 1626 01:34:41,800 --> 01:34:44,109 Thank you. 1627 01:34:47,320 --> 01:34:49,390 - So, you still think that he-- - You're quick. 1628 01:34:49,520 --> 01:34:51,795 You're very quick. 1629 01:34:57,080 --> 01:34:58,798 ( Sighs ) 1630 01:35:03,040 --> 01:35:04,871 ( Clicks ) 1631 01:35:07,400 --> 01:35:10,073 ( Clicks ) 1632 01:35:10,200 --> 01:35:12,873 ##" I thought that ##" 1633 01:35:13,000 --> 01:35:17,391 ##" You'd be lovin'me ##" 1634 01:35:17,520 --> 01:35:19,511 ##" I thought you were the one who'd ##" 1635 01:35:19,640 --> 01:35:23,235 ##" Stay forever ##" 1636 01:35:24,400 --> 01:35:29,349 ##" But now Forever's come and gone ##" 1637 01:35:29,480 --> 01:35:34,952 ##" And I'm still here Alone ##" 1638 01:35:36,240 --> 01:35:38,629 ##" 'Cause you were only playing ##" 1639 01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:42,798 ##" You were only playin' with my heart ##" 1640 01:35:42,920 --> 01:35:45,229 ##" I was never waiting ##" 1641 01:35:46,560 --> 01:35:50,473 ##" I was never waiting for the tears to start ##" 1642 01:35:50,600 --> 01:35:53,831 ##" It was you ##" 1643 01:35:53,960 --> 01:35:57,919 ##" Who put the clouds above me ##" 1644 01:35:58,040 --> 01:36:00,918 ##" It was you ##" 1645 01:36:01,040 --> 01:36:04,555 ##" Who made the tears fall down ##" 1646 01:36:04,680 --> 01:36:06,636 ##" It was you ##" 1647 01:36:08,120 --> 01:36:11,351 ##" Who broke my heart in pieces ##" 1648 01:36:11,480 --> 01:36:15,109 ##" It was you It was you ##" 1649 01:36:15,240 --> 01:36:18,630 ##" Who made my blue eyes blue ##" 1650 01:36:18,760 --> 01:36:22,548 ##" Oh. oh. I never should have trusted you ##" 1651 01:36:22,680 --> 01:36:25,240 Okay. Here we go. 1652 01:36:25,360 --> 01:36:27,510 ##" And I thought that ##" 1653 01:36:27,640 --> 01:36:31,997 ##" I'd be all you need ##" 1654 01:36:32,120 --> 01:36:35,999 ##" In your eyes I thought I saw my face ##" 1655 01:36:36,120 --> 01:36:38,680 - Hey, Ike. How's it goin'? - Hey, Robert. 1656 01:36:38,800 --> 01:36:40,597 That good, huh? 1657 01:36:40,720 --> 01:36:44,474 ##" 'Cause you had me believin'in a lie ##" 1658 01:36:44,600 --> 01:36:47,194 ##" Guess I couldn't see it ##" 1659 01:36:47,320 --> 01:36:52,030 ##" I guess I couldn't see it Till I saw goodbye ##" 1660 01:36:52,160 --> 01:36:55,277 ##" It was you ##" 1661 01:36:55,400 --> 01:36:58,870 ##" It was you ##" 1662 01:36:59,000 --> 01:37:02,231 ##" Who put those clouds around me ##" 1663 01:37:02,360 --> 01:37:05,636 ##" It was you ##" 1664 01:37:05,760 --> 01:37:08,957 ##" Who made the tears fall down ##" 1665 01:37:09,080 --> 01:37:11,878 ##" Only you ##" 1666 01:37:12,000 --> 01:37:15,709 - ( Phone Ringing ) - ##" Who broke my heart in pieces ##" 1667 01:37:15,840 --> 01:37:17,637 - ( Ringing Continues ) - ##" It was you it was you ##" 1668 01:37:17,760 --> 01:37:19,990 ( Ike's Voice ) Yeah. hi. It's me. Leave a message after the beep. 1669 01:37:20,120 --> 01:37:23,032 - ( Answering Machine Beeping ) - ( Dial Tone ) 1670 01:37:23,160 --> 01:37:28,792 ##" Oh. oh. never should have trusted you ##"##" 1671 01:37:28,920 --> 01:37:29,875 Hello, Ike. 1672 01:37:35,280 --> 01:37:37,316 ( Sighs ) 1673 01:37:40,080 --> 01:37:44,198 Don't tell me. My doorman is one of your many admirers. 1674 01:37:46,200 --> 01:37:48,668 Been making friends with your cat. 1675 01:37:50,600 --> 01:37:53,751 - Is it okay that I'm here? - I don't have much choice in the matter, do I? 1676 01:37:55,680 --> 01:37:58,513 But I can't speak for Italics! Traitor. 1677 01:37:58,640 --> 01:38:00,551 ( Purring ) 1678 01:38:00,680 --> 01:38:02,318 I don't blame you for being mad. 1679 01:38:02,440 --> 01:38:05,000 Or furious. 1680 01:38:06,040 --> 01:38:08,759 Irate? Livid. 1681 01:38:08,880 --> 01:38:11,474 - ( Meowing ) - So, what is it, Maggie? 1682 01:38:11,600 --> 01:38:13,397 You in business? 1683 01:38:13,520 --> 01:38:16,637 Oh yeah, I saw your lamps. 1684 01:38:16,760 --> 01:38:19,194 They're terrific. 1685 01:38:19,320 --> 01:38:22,551 - Yeah, really. - It's something that I've always wanted to do, and-- 1686 01:38:22,680 --> 01:38:25,433 - ( Door Closing ) - You know, you could make breaking and entering... 1687 01:38:25,560 --> 01:38:27,357 into a new career. 1688 01:38:27,480 --> 01:38:30,278 ( Sighs ) 1689 01:38:30,400 --> 01:38:32,914 So. What are you doing here, anyway? 1690 01:38:35,680 --> 01:38:37,591 I wanted to... 1691 01:38:37,720 --> 01:38:40,518 talk to you about... 1692 01:38:40,640 --> 01:38:45,350 why I run-- sometimes ride-- 1693 01:38:45,480 --> 01:38:47,277 away from things. 1694 01:38:50,040 --> 01:38:52,713 - Does it matter? - I think so. 1695 01:38:52,840 --> 01:38:56,389 ( Clears Throat ) When I was walking down the aisle. 1696 01:38:56,520 --> 01:38:59,557 I was walking towards somebody... 1697 01:38:59,680 --> 01:39:02,558 who had no idea... 1698 01:39:02,680 --> 01:39:05,035 who I really was. 1699 01:39:05,160 --> 01:39:09,676 And it was only half the other person's fault, 1700 01:39:09,800 --> 01:39:14,396 because I had done everything to convince him... 1701 01:39:14,520 --> 01:39:16,476 that I was exactly what he wanted. 1702 01:39:16,600 --> 01:39:21,037 So. it was good that I didn't go through with it. 1703 01:39:21,160 --> 01:39:24,311 because it would have been a lie. 1704 01:39:24,440 --> 01:39:28,194 But you-- 1705 01:39:28,320 --> 01:39:30,629 You knew the real me. 1706 01:39:32,600 --> 01:39:34,397 Yes, I did. 1707 01:39:34,520 --> 01:39:36,954 I didn't. 1708 01:39:38,320 --> 01:39:42,313 Still, I ended up chasing a truck. 1709 01:39:55,560 --> 01:39:59,235 I can't, um, do anything about the truck, 1710 01:40:01,160 --> 01:40:03,913 but, um-- 1711 01:40:07,320 --> 01:40:09,880 - Benedict. - Arnold. 1712 01:40:10,000 --> 01:40:12,434 I love eggs Benedict. 1713 01:40:12,560 --> 01:40:15,120 I hate all the other kinds of eggs. 1714 01:40:15,240 --> 01:40:19,358 - I hate big weddings. Everybody staring. - ( Chortles ) 1715 01:40:19,480 --> 01:40:22,153 I'd like to get married on a weekday, while everybody's at work. 1716 01:40:22,280 --> 01:40:24,635 - Mm-hmm. - And if I ride off into the sunset, 1717 01:40:24,760 --> 01:40:27,035 - I want my own horse. - Should I be writing this down? 1718 01:40:27,160 --> 01:40:30,550 - And there's something else. - No, no, you can tell me. You can tell me. Don't-- 1719 01:40:30,680 --> 01:40:32,557 Come-- Okay. 1720 01:40:37,480 --> 01:40:39,630 These are for you. 1721 01:40:44,440 --> 01:40:47,273 - Uh, used-- - Well, they're mine. 1722 01:40:47,400 --> 01:40:51,154 I'm turning in my running shoes to you. 1723 01:40:55,280 --> 01:40:57,077 This is serious. 1724 01:40:57,200 --> 01:41:00,078 And there's one more thing. I know, the mind reels that there could be more, 1725 01:41:00,200 --> 01:41:02,156 after-- after this, but, um, 1726 01:41:02,280 --> 01:41:04,157 if you could just have a seat. 1727 01:41:04,280 --> 01:41:06,111 Oh! 1728 01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:13,276 Here, let's just not have that there. Okay. 1729 01:41:13,400 --> 01:41:16,073 Okay. 1730 01:41:19,680 --> 01:41:23,036 - Oh, no. My God, no. - No, no. Don't hide your face. 1731 01:41:23,160 --> 01:41:25,799 This happens once in a lifetime, and it's definitely a first for me. 1732 01:41:25,920 --> 01:41:28,559 And you're not gonna want to miss it, so pay close attention. 1733 01:41:28,680 --> 01:41:30,910 - ( Clears Throat ) - ( Sighs Nervously ) 1734 01:41:35,480 --> 01:41:40,031 I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham. 1735 01:41:41,040 --> 01:41:43,679 - ( Sighs ) - Will you marry me? 1736 01:41:51,480 --> 01:41:54,756 ( Gasps ) 1737 01:41:56,080 --> 01:41:58,150 - I gotta think about this a little bit. - Okay, good. 1738 01:41:58,280 --> 01:42:00,271 - I was hoping that you would say that. - You were not! 1739 01:42:00,400 --> 01:42:02,755 No, I was, I was. Because if you'd said yes right away, 1740 01:42:02,880 --> 01:42:05,713 I wouldn't be able to do this next part I've been practising, so let me just-- 1741 01:42:08,120 --> 01:42:10,076 ( Sighs ) Okay. 1742 01:42:10,200 --> 01:42:13,158 - Ready? - I'm listening. 1743 01:42:20,760 --> 01:42:25,276 I guarantee that we'll have tough times. 1744 01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:28,312 And I guarantee that at some point... 1745 01:42:28,440 --> 01:42:31,477 one, or both of us, will want to get out. 1746 01:42:33,080 --> 01:42:35,799 But I also guarantee... 1747 01:42:35,920 --> 01:42:39,037 that if I don't ask you to be mine, 1748 01:42:39,160 --> 01:42:41,754 I'll regret it for the rest of my life, 1749 01:42:41,880 --> 01:42:45,270 because I know in my heart... 1750 01:42:45,400 --> 01:42:48,472 you're the only one for me. 1751 01:42:55,400 --> 01:42:57,868 That's a pretty good speech, Maggie. 1752 01:42:58,000 --> 01:43:01,151 I borrowed it from this writer I know. 1753 01:43:03,480 --> 01:43:05,994 So? 1754 01:43:18,640 --> 01:43:21,996 ##"##" (Jazz Piano ) 1755 01:43:27,560 --> 01:43:30,950 ##"##" ( Trumpet.' Miles Davis ) 1756 01:43:32,560 --> 01:43:34,630 Dance with me. 1757 01:43:42,840 --> 01:43:46,549 ##"##" ( Trumpet Continues ) 1758 01:43:56,480 --> 01:43:58,596 ( Pastor ) We are gathered here today to celebrate the union... 1759 01:43:58,720 --> 01:44:01,996 of Maggie Carpenter and Ike Graham. 1760 01:44:05,320 --> 01:44:07,390 ##"##" ( Trumpet Continues ) 1761 01:44:14,000 --> 01:44:16,560 - Do you have the rings? - Yes. 1762 01:44:16,680 --> 01:44:19,592 Do you, Ike, take Maggie to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1763 01:44:23,000 --> 01:44:24,797 I do. 1764 01:44:24,920 --> 01:44:29,118 Do you. Maggie. take Ike to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1765 01:44:29,240 --> 01:44:31,037 I do. 1766 01:44:31,160 --> 01:44:33,196 ( Pastor ) In this life that you share together. 1767 01:44:33,320 --> 01:44:37,598 may your individuality strengthen your love. 1768 01:44:38,840 --> 01:44:40,671 With the power vested in me. 1769 01:44:40,800 --> 01:44:43,917 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1770 01:44:47,080 --> 01:44:49,674 You may kiss the bride. 1771 01:45:16,760 --> 01:45:19,194 Guess what. She did it! 1772 01:45:19,320 --> 01:45:21,754 Maggie Carpenter got married. 1773 01:45:21,880 --> 01:45:23,677 # Alleluia # 1774 01:45:23,800 --> 01:45:25,995 ( Raucous Screaming ) 1775 01:45:28,520 --> 01:45:31,193 Betty, she did it! She did it! 1776 01:45:31,320 --> 01:45:33,117 ( Cheering ) 1777 01:45:33,240 --> 01:45:37,119 - ##" I need love. love To ease my mind ##" - # Alleluia, alleluia # 1778 01:45:37,240 --> 01:45:40,869 ##" I need to find. find Someone to call mine ##" 1779 01:45:41,000 --> 01:45:43,833 ##" But mama said You can't hurry love ##" 1780 01:45:43,960 --> 01:45:46,713 ##" No. you just have to wait ##" 1781 01:45:46,840 --> 01:45:49,274 ##" She said Love don't come easy ##" 1782 01:45:49,400 --> 01:45:51,436 ##" It's a game of give and take ##" 1783 01:45:51,560 --> 01:45:55,599 ##" I can't hurry love No. you'll just have to wait ##" 1784 01:45:55,720 --> 01:45:58,678 ##" You gotta trust Give it time ##" 1785 01:45:58,800 --> 01:46:00,950 ##" No matter how long it takes ##" 1786 01:46:01,080 --> 01:46:02,991 ##" But how many heartaches ##" 1787 01:46:03,120 --> 01:46:04,951 ##" Must I stand ##" 1788 01:46:05,080 --> 01:46:09,471 ##" Before I find a love To let me live again ##" 1789 01:46:09,600 --> 01:46:14,355 ##" Right now the only thing That keeps me hangin'on ##" 1790 01:46:14,480 --> 01:46:18,712 ##" When I feel my strength Yeah. it's almost gone ##" 1791 01:46:18,840 --> 01:46:21,559 - ##" I remember mama said ##" - ##" You can't hurry love ##" 1792 01:46:21,680 --> 01:46:23,989 ##" No you just have to wait ##" 1793 01:46:24,120 --> 01:46:26,918 ##" She said Love don't come easy ##" 1794 01:46:27,040 --> 01:46:29,679 ##" It's a game of give and take ##" 1795 01:46:29,800 --> 01:46:34,032 ##" How long must I wait How much more can I take ##" 1796 01:46:34,160 --> 01:46:39,029 ##" Before loneliness will cause my heart. heart to break ##" 1797 01:46:39,160 --> 01:46:42,869 ##" I can't hurry love No. you'll just have to wait ##" 1798 01:46:43,000 --> 01:46:45,992 ##" She said Trust. give it time ##" 1799 01:46:46,120 --> 01:46:48,634 - ##" No matter how long it takes ##" - ##" Now. wait ##"##" 1800 01:46:53,160 --> 01:46:55,993 ##" 'Cause I live for her You'll let me feel ##" 1801 01:46:56,120 --> 01:46:58,793 ##" So I question all this being real ##" 1802 01:46:58,920 --> 01:47:00,911 ##" 'Cause I'm not afraid to love ##" 1803 01:47:01,040 --> 01:47:03,838 ##" For the first time I'm not afraid of love ##" 1804 01:47:03,960 --> 01:47:07,350 ##" Oh. this day seems made for you and me ##" 1805 01:47:07,480 --> 01:47:10,074 ##" And you show me what life needs to be ##" 1806 01:47:10,200 --> 01:47:14,079 ##" Yeah. you sang to me Oh. you sang to me ##" 1807 01:47:15,560 --> 01:47:18,393 ##" All the while you were in front of me ##" 1808 01:47:18,520 --> 01:47:20,636 ##" I never realized ##" 1809 01:47:20,760 --> 01:47:26,153 ##" I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes ##" 1810 01:47:26,280 --> 01:47:29,272 ##" I didn't see it ##" 1811 01:47:29,400 --> 01:47:33,712 ##" I can't believe it Whoa. but I feel it ##" 1812 01:47:35,000 --> 01:47:37,753 ##" When you sing to me ##" 1813 01:47:37,880 --> 01:47:41,998 ##" How I long to hear you sing Beneath the clear blue skies ##" 1814 01:47:43,920 --> 01:47:47,993 ##" And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes ##" 1815 01:47:48,120 --> 01:47:53,433 ##" I didn't see it I can't believe it ##" 1816 01:47:53,560 --> 01:47:57,109 ##" Oh. but I feel it ##" 1817 01:47:57,240 --> 01:47:59,800 ##" When you sing to me ##"##" 1818 01:48:11,640 --> 01:48:14,313 ##"##" ('50s Rock ) 1819 01:48:14,440 --> 01:48:17,398 ##" Where were you on our wedding day ##" 1820 01:48:17,520 --> 01:48:20,398 ##" I got bad news that you went away ##" 1821 01:48:20,520 --> 01:48:23,398 ##" Where were you on our wedding day ##" 1822 01:48:23,520 --> 01:48:26,239 ##" You did me wrong and now you must pay ##" 1823 01:48:26,360 --> 01:48:28,157 - ##" Whoa-oh ##" - ##" Whoa-oh ##" 1824 01:48:28,280 --> 01:48:30,669 - ##" And give me back my ring ##" - ##" My ring ##" 1825 01:48:30,800 --> 01:48:32,597 - ##" Whoa-oh ##" - ##" Whoa-oh ##" 1826 01:48:32,720 --> 01:48:34,517 - ##" Whoa-oh ##" - ##" Whoa-oh ##" 1827 01:48:34,640 --> 01:48:36,870 - ##" I ain't gonna let you keep a thing ##" - ##" A thing ##" 1828 01:48:37,000 --> 01:48:38,797 ##" Whoa-oh ##" 1829 01:48:38,920 --> 01:48:41,798 ##" Where were you when I said. I do ##" 1830 01:48:41,920 --> 01:48:44,639 ##" Everybody laughed and my in-laws too ##" 1831 01:48:44,760 --> 01:48:47,797 ##" Where were you when I turned around ##" 1832 01:48:47,920 --> 01:48:50,559 ##" Someplace you knew you never could be found ##" 1833 01:48:50,680 --> 01:48:52,477 -##" Whoa-oh ##" -##" Whoa-oh ##" 1834 01:48:52,600 --> 01:48:55,956 -##" Give me back my ring Whoa-oh ##" -##" My ring ##" 1835 01:48:56,080 --> 01:49:00,596 -##" Whoa-oh. whoa-oh ##" -##" Whoa-oh. I ain't gonna let you keep a thing ##" 1836 01:49:00,720 --> 01:49:03,154 -##" A thing ##" -##" Whoa-oh ##" 1837 01:49:03,280 --> 01:49:05,874 ##"##" ( Honky-Tonk Piano ) 1838 01:49:15,560 --> 01:49:18,632 ##"##" ( Ballad ) 1839 01:49:18,760 --> 01:49:21,115 ##" Mm-mm-mm ##" 1840 01:49:22,520 --> 01:49:28,595 ##" My heart says We've got something real ##" 1841 01:49:28,720 --> 01:49:32,599 ##" Can I trust the way I feel ##" 1842 01:49:32,720 --> 01:49:37,350 ##" 'Cause my heart's been fooled before ##" 1843 01:49:38,480 --> 01:49:44,157 ##" Am I just seeing what I want ##" 1844 01:49:44,280 --> 01:49:46,874 ##" To see ##" 1845 01:49:47,000 --> 01:49:50,276 ##" Or is it true ##" 1846 01:49:50,400 --> 01:49:53,756 ##" Could you really be ##" 1847 01:49:53,880 --> 01:49:58,556 ##" Someone to have and hold ##" 1848 01:49:58,680 --> 01:50:02,116 ##" With all my heart and soul ##" 1849 01:50:02,240 --> 01:50:04,470 ##" I need to know ##" 1850 01:50:04,600 --> 01:50:09,515 ##" Before I fall in love ##" 1851 01:50:09,640 --> 01:50:14,395 ##" Someone who'll stay around ##" 1852 01:50:14,520 --> 01:50:18,308 ##" Through all my ups and downs ##" 1853 01:50:18,440 --> 01:50:20,271 ##" Please tell me now ##" 1854 01:50:20,400 --> 01:50:25,997 ##" Before I fall in love ##" 1855 01:50:27,520 --> 01:50:30,239 ##" It's been so hard for me ##" 1856 01:50:30,360 --> 01:50:34,069 ##" To give my heart away ##" 1857 01:50:34,200 --> 01:50:38,193 ##" But I would give my everything ##" 1858 01:50:38,320 --> 01:50:41,232 ##" Just to hear you say ##" 1859 01:50:41,360 --> 01:50:46,150 ##" Someone to have and hold ##" 1860 01:50:46,280 --> 01:50:50,068 ##" With all my heart and soul ##" 1861 01:50:50,200 --> 01:50:52,156 ##" Please tell me now ##" 1862 01:50:52,280 --> 01:50:55,795 ##" Before I fall ##" 1863 01:50:55,920 --> 01:50:59,993 ##" In love ##" 1864 01:51:00,120 --> 01:51:02,076 ##" Ooh-ooh ##" 1865 01:51:02,200 --> 01:51:04,509 ##" Before I fall ##" 1866 01:51:04,640 --> 01:51:10,158 ##" In love ##"##"