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New message.
2
00:01:18,475 --> 00:01:19,772
Are you there?
Are you up?
3
00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:21,987
Oh, my God! It's too early there
for me to be calling.
4
00:01:22,062 --> 00:01:25,066
7:52, 6:52, 5:52... I forgot.
Three hours earlier.
5
00:01:25,148 --> 00:01:28,368
- Forget I called!
-Message deleted.
6
00:01:33,281 --> 00:01:35,158
- New message.
-Honey, it's Mommy.
7
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:38,124
I know I only get you for the weekend
before you hit the road,
8
00:01:38,203 --> 00:01:39,876
but I thought Pd
pick you up a few things.
9
00:01:40,122 --> 00:01:42,341
Do you like Greek yogurt?
It's the rage.
10
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:43,967
Message deleted.
11
00:01:45,168 --> 00:01:46,670
I'm so proud of you, honey.
12
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I can't believe you're going to do a tour of
all these companies and your product.
13
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I mean, I...
My little Donald Trump.
14
00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:57,857
- I'm so excited to see your sweet face!
-Message deleted.
15
00:02:06,148 --> 00:02:08,242
Hi, Andy, it's Mommy.
Last call.
16
00:02:08,483 --> 00:02:11,783
I just wanted you to know that I'm going
to park and come inside tomorrow
17
00:02:11,862 --> 00:02:14,991
because parking curb side
at Newark is a zoo!
18
00:02:15,115 --> 00:02:17,584
And I don't want to get a citation.
That's all.
19
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,127
Oh, I may go to
the Gap today,
20
00:02:19,202 --> 00:02:23,127
so let me know if you need slacks
or a scarf or anything, you know.
21
00:02:23,999 --> 00:02:27,128
I got you a pass for my gym,
if you want to do Pilates with me.
22
00:02:27,586 --> 00:02:30,089
I have this new instructor,
she's a lesbian.
23
00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:32,098
Message deleted.
24
00:02:35,093 --> 00:02:36,094
New message.
25
00:02:36,178 --> 00:02:37,521
All these messages
about tomorrow
26
00:02:37,596 --> 00:02:39,849
and I forgot to wish you
good luck today!
27
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They're going to
love you! I know it.
28
00:02:41,975 --> 00:02:43,477
Who could say no to you?
29
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,489
Andrew Brewster?
We're ready for you.
30
00:02:48,148 --> 00:02:49,320
Thank you.
31
00:02:54,196 --> 00:02:55,243
What do you
have for us, son?
32
00:02:55,489 --> 00:02:58,369
What I have for you
is a groundbreaking product
33
00:02:58,451 --> 00:03:01,751
that Kmart has the opportunity
to have on its shelves
34
00:03:01,913 --> 00:03:05,042
before anyone else
has it on their shelves.
35
00:03:06,042 --> 00:03:08,545
First, some background
information on me.
36
00:03:09,086 --> 00:03:12,590
I have a Master's Degree
in chemistry from UCLA.
37
00:03:12,799 --> 00:03:14,426
For the last three years,
38
00:03:14,550 --> 00:03:17,224
I worked at the
Environmental Protection Agency.
39
00:03:17,553 --> 00:03:18,554
And trust me,
40
00:03:18,638 --> 00:03:20,606
I didn't stay three years
because of the ladies.
41
00:03:24,185 --> 00:03:27,610
I stayed because I was fascinated
by the work I was doing there!
42
00:03:27,855 --> 00:03:31,155
Primarily that was
the sustainable technology
43
00:03:31,234 --> 00:03:32,702
sourced by renewable
resources.
44
00:03:33,611 --> 00:03:34,828
I know what you're thinking...
45
00:03:35,363 --> 00:03:37,957
"Boring Chemistry Alert!" Right?
46
00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:39,621
Wrong!
47
00:03:40,284 --> 00:03:43,629
One day, I had a breakthrough.
48
00:03:43,955 --> 00:03:46,458
I created a micro-emulsion
suspension
49
00:03:46,707 --> 00:03:50,507
that harnessed the natural
cleaning power of
50
00:03:52,505 --> 00:03:53,848
coconut oil,
51
00:03:55,424 --> 00:03:57,768
palm kernel oil,
52
00:03:58,094 --> 00:03:59,266
and
53
00:03:59,929 --> 00:04:00,930
soy!
54
00:04:03,432 --> 00:04:05,434
Not soy sauce,
55
00:04:06,102 --> 00:04:07,649
but soybean oil.
56
00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:10,523
And this comes together to
create what I like to call...
57
00:04:13,526 --> 00:04:15,904
Can you see that?
I thought the table would be smaller.
58
00:04:15,987 --> 00:04:17,113
Can you see it?
59
00:04:17,947 --> 00:04:21,451
Scieoclean! Scieo-clean!
60
00:04:21,784 --> 00:04:25,459
Science and clean in one word.
61
00:04:25,955 --> 00:04:29,300
Okay. Very thorough.
Thanks for coming in.
62
00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:31,377
And we'll be in touch,
down the road.
63
00:04:31,627 --> 00:04:33,379
I have full FDA approval,
64
00:04:33,462 --> 00:04:34,634
and I have enough
financial backing...
65
00:04:34,714 --> 00:04:38,639
Actually, we're already in
talks with major companies...
66
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,895
Yeah. Whose products
are toxic and harmful.
67
00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:43,268
...as well as
established organic companies.
68
00:04:43,347 --> 00:04:44,644
But develop some
brand recognition
69
00:04:44,724 --> 00:04:47,398
and maybe, in a year or two,
we'll revisit.
70
00:04:51,981 --> 00:04:53,153
New message.
71
00:04:53,232 --> 00:04:56,361
So, how did it go? I know,
I know. I'm driving you crazy,
72
00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:58,158
but I'm on pins and
needles here, Andy!
73
00:04:58,487 --> 00:05:00,114
They loved you, I bet. Kmart!
74
00:05:00,197 --> 00:05:02,996
I can't believe it!
My son at Kmart!
75
00:05:03,326 --> 00:05:04,999
Message deleted.
76
00:05:05,661 --> 00:05:08,835
Hi, this is Joyce,
leave a message, bye!
77
00:05:09,332 --> 00:05:11,676
Hey, Ma, got your
billion messages.
78
00:05:11,751 --> 00:05:13,970
Here are some answers to your
questions: Kmart went great,
79
00:05:14,045 --> 00:05:15,672
do not buy me slacks,
80
00:05:15,755 --> 00:05:17,223
I do not want to do Pilates,
81
00:05:17,506 --> 00:05:19,600
and I'm excited
to see you, too.
82
00:05:20,009 --> 00:05:21,852
Andy! Andy!
83
00:05:24,096 --> 00:05:25,473
Andy! Andy!
84
00:05:26,015 --> 00:05:27,938
Andy! I'm over here!
85
00:05:28,434 --> 00:05:29,777
- Honey!
- Hey, Ma.
86
00:05:30,019 --> 00:05:31,862
- I'm over here!
- I see you. Hey!
87
00:05:32,104 --> 00:05:33,947
- All of Newark sees you.
- Hi!
88
00:05:34,023 --> 00:05:35,366
- Hi, there. Hey, Ma.
- Oh, my baby.
89
00:05:35,608 --> 00:05:37,281
Oh, my God!
90
00:05:37,693 --> 00:05:39,366
- Good to see you.
- Look at you! Look at you!
91
00:05:39,612 --> 00:05:40,955
- Yes. Look at me.
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
92
00:05:41,197 --> 00:05:42,619
Yeah. Okay.
Let's get out of the way here.
93
00:05:42,865 --> 00:05:43,991
Are you wearing a sports jacket?
94
00:05:44,075 --> 00:05:45,076
Yeah, I am.
95
00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:46,623
How did you know even
to buy a sports jacket?
96
00:05:46,702 --> 00:05:48,625
- I took a class in it. Yeah.
- Look at this.
97
00:05:48,704 --> 00:05:51,628
Oh, my God! Honey, look!
You left the price tag on.
98
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:55,045
J. Crew?
My fancy-schmancy son!
99
00:05:55,378 --> 00:05:56,379
Yeah, that's me.
100
00:05:56,462 --> 00:05:57,884
I'm just going to keep it,
in case it goes on sale.
101
00:05:58,130 --> 00:05:59,723
Okay, great. Thanks.
102
00:06:00,216 --> 00:06:01,809
Is it hot in here,
or is it just me?
103
00:06:02,051 --> 00:06:03,894
- Just you. Not hot at all.
- Just me?
104
00:06:04,136 --> 00:06:05,558
- You're kidding.
- Nope.
105
00:06:05,805 --> 00:06:07,432
- I made chicken for dinner.
- Oh, awesome.
106
00:06:07,556 --> 00:06:08,853
And I invited some
of the girls over
107
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,731
because they really
can't wait to see you.
108
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:15,231
You know, I'd kind of
rather you didn't.
109
00:06:15,315 --> 00:06:17,067
I just got off a long flight.
110
00:06:17,317 --> 00:06:18,660
I don't know if I want to...
111
00:06:18,902 --> 00:06:20,745
- You're tired and everything?
- Yeah, I have jet lag a bit.
112
00:06:20,988 --> 00:06:22,831
The last thing you need is to
put on a show for my friends.
113
00:06:22,906 --> 00:06:23,907
- Right.
- Yeah. Exactly.
114
00:06:24,157 --> 00:06:26,410
Thank you, Ma.
Thank you for understanding.
115
00:06:27,577 --> 00:06:29,500
I just made so much
chicken is all.
116
00:06:31,915 --> 00:06:34,589
I can't believe little Andy,
all grown up!
117
00:06:34,835 --> 00:06:36,837
And wearing a sports jacket.
118
00:06:37,087 --> 00:06:38,930
It's from J. Crew.
Show them the label.
119
00:06:40,257 --> 00:06:41,930
Yeah, it's pretty affordable.
120
00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:44,098
Did you know that Andy
is starting his own business?
121
00:06:44,428 --> 00:06:45,429
Is that right?
122
00:06:46,596 --> 00:06:48,314
Yeah, he invented a new product
123
00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:50,768
and now he's going to go
travel door-to-door selling it.
124
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Isn't that right, Andy?
125
00:06:52,102 --> 00:06:54,104
No, that's actually
not even close.
126
00:06:54,354 --> 00:06:55,856
You know, it's dangerous
to go door-to-door.
127
00:06:55,939 --> 00:06:57,111
I'm not going door-to-door.
128
00:06:57,190 --> 00:06:58,942
They stopped doing
that decades ago.
129
00:06:59,192 --> 00:07:00,535
Did I hear wrong, honey?
130
00:07:00,777 --> 00:07:03,280
It's okay. It's complicated.
That's close enough, I guess.
131
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:04,622
Andy, it's so nice
to finally meet you.
132
00:07:04,698 --> 00:07:05,699
You, too. Yeah.
133
00:07:05,782 --> 00:07:07,329
I have heard only great
things about you.
134
00:07:07,451 --> 00:07:08,452
That's nice.
135
00:07:08,535 --> 00:07:09,957
Gayle is our new friend.
136
00:07:10,203 --> 00:07:13,173
She's our Weight Watchers leader.
Her husband's dead.
137
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,965
I'm really sorry to hear that.
138
00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:18,382
I'm not.
139
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,223
He couldn't drop
dead soon enough.
140
00:07:21,298 --> 00:07:22,470
He was horrible!
141
00:07:23,133 --> 00:07:25,135
She couldn't wait
to get rid of him, honey.
142
00:07:25,385 --> 00:07:26,432
Andy, you have to help me.
143
00:07:26,511 --> 00:07:28,229
Please convince her to come
to my singles event with me.
144
00:07:28,305 --> 00:07:29,306
- One night.
- Yeah!
145
00:07:29,723 --> 00:07:31,066
- Come on. Don't say that.
- You got to do it!
146
00:07:31,308 --> 00:07:32,855
I don't want to go there.
147
00:07:33,727 --> 00:07:35,729
I am telling you, you will be
the belle of the ball.
148
00:07:35,979 --> 00:07:37,322
More like the belle
of the "bald."
149
00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:42,070
I don't need it.
I'm very happy.
150
00:07:43,153 --> 00:07:45,906
Got more frogs
since Thanksgiving, huh, Ma?
151
00:07:45,989 --> 00:07:48,913
Yeah, you can't imagine
how many places sell frogs.
152
00:07:48,992 --> 00:07:50,494
I hope you're drinking water, Andy.
153
00:07:51,661 --> 00:07:53,834
Good. Good boy.
154
00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:57,338
Because I'm up to six bottles
a day now. You know?
155
00:07:57,417 --> 00:07:58,589
It's very good for your skin.
156
00:07:58,835 --> 00:08:00,007
Good. That's why I'm doing it.
157
00:08:00,253 --> 00:08:02,426
I'm so glad you do that, honey.
158
00:08:06,009 --> 00:08:07,101
What are you doing right now?
159
00:08:07,344 --> 00:08:09,346
I'm refilling my water bottle.
160
00:08:09,596 --> 00:08:11,644
'Cause it's silly to
pay big prices
161
00:08:11,723 --> 00:08:14,067
for a case of bottles,
basically, you know,
162
00:08:14,142 --> 00:08:16,315
when you can use this
over and over again.
163
00:08:18,188 --> 00:08:20,782
So you're really going to
drive cross-country
164
00:08:20,857 --> 00:08:21,858
for these meetings?
165
00:08:21,942 --> 00:08:23,489
Yeah. All the way
to Vegas, yeah.
166
00:08:24,694 --> 00:08:25,786
You seeing anyone?
167
00:08:26,863 --> 00:08:28,206
No. Not at the moment.
168
00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:32,453
No? I thought you were seeing that girl
with the exotic name.
169
00:08:33,787 --> 00:08:35,039
'Yes!
170
00:08:35,205 --> 00:08:37,128
Bethany. What happened to her?
171
00:08:37,374 --> 00:08:39,627
Yeah, that just didn't really
work out. You know...
172
00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:42,296
So what about the one before her?
The Oriental.
173
00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:46,847
That is not remotely
an acceptable term anymore, and...
174
00:08:46,925 --> 00:08:49,178
I don't know,
it just didn't work out.
175
00:08:49,261 --> 00:08:52,060
You'd think one of them
would have worked out by now, hmm?
176
00:08:52,305 --> 00:08:55,650
What about you?
Are you seeing anyone at the moment?
177
00:08:55,892 --> 00:08:57,644
Andy, please don't be disgusting.
178
00:08:58,228 --> 00:09:01,402
You want me to go to one of Gayle's
miserable singles events?
179
00:09:01,648 --> 00:09:03,446
That's what you want?
You want me whoring myself out?
180
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:04,568
Put on a thong?
181
00:09:04,901 --> 00:09:06,744
I'm going to sleep now, Ma.
182
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:07,992
Yeah.
183
00:09:08,071 --> 00:09:11,746
I took out the old home movies and
I thought we would watch it together.
184
00:09:12,075 --> 00:09:14,624
You know, I just...
I'm not adjusted yet.
185
00:09:14,744 --> 00:09:16,246
I'm still jet lagged. I just...
186
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:18,253
- I understand. Yeah.
- Good night.
187
00:09:18,748 --> 00:09:19,749
Good night, honey!
188
00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:21,926
I bought some underwear for you
at the Gap.
189
00:09:22,002 --> 00:09:23,003
Okay-
190
00:09:23,086 --> 00:09:24,929
We can return it
tomorrow if it doesn't fit!
191
00:09:25,005 --> 00:09:26,097
That's pretty gross.
192
00:09:26,173 --> 00:09:27,846
- They know me there!
- Okay.
193
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:34,273
Can I turn this thing off?
194
00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:36,100
We've been doing
this for two hours.
195
00:09:36,434 --> 00:09:38,778
Just a few more
minutes, okay?
196
00:09:38,853 --> 00:09:41,106
Look how cute he is.
197
00:09:48,112 --> 00:09:50,114
Look, Ma, I'm sorry...
198
00:09:51,449 --> 00:09:52,951
How long do you want
me to film this?
199
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:54,794
You are the best boy.
200
00:09:54,869 --> 00:09:58,043
The most perfect boy in the world.
Do you know that?
201
00:09:58,456 --> 00:10:00,083
Like Mommy tells
you every night,
202
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,670
if all the little boys
in the world were lined up
203
00:10:03,753 --> 00:10:06,051
and I could only pick one,
204
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:08,970
I'd pick you every time.
205
00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:13,312
I love you, Andy.
You're my perfect boy.
206
00:10:38,162 --> 00:10:40,836
All right. This will be good for you.
A little adventure.
207
00:10:41,082 --> 00:10:42,925
All right.
This is ridiculous.
208
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:45,420
Come on, Mom.
Just give it a shot. it could be fun.
209
00:11:01,936 --> 00:11:03,609
Did you just ask if I hiked?
210
00:11:03,854 --> 00:11:05,822
No! I don't hike. Sorry.
211
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,367
Try the skinny one in the corner.
She looks sporty.
212
00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:10,782
Don't talk to me though,
because I'm thinking.
213
00:11:22,623 --> 00:11:24,625
You couldn't even try, Ma?
214
00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:28,379
I mean, you're never going to
meet a man like that.
215
00:11:28,713 --> 00:11:31,057
Dad died when I was
eight years old.
216
00:11:31,132 --> 00:11:33,555
You haven't been on one date
since then. Right?
217
00:11:33,884 --> 00:11:35,727
You know what it
comes down to?
218
00:11:36,637 --> 00:11:39,311
It comes down to
M&M's in bed.
219
00:11:40,391 --> 00:11:41,608
Yeah, because when...
220
00:11:41,726 --> 00:11:43,899
Those years I was with your father,
you know?
221
00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:47,733
I would hide them under
my pillow until he fell asleep
222
00:11:48,065 --> 00:11:50,818
so I could eat them
without being criticized.
223
00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:54,163
And I will never hide
my M&M's again.
224
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,038
It really makes a lot of sense,
225
00:11:58,117 --> 00:11:59,334
-when you put it like that.
-It does.
226
00:11:59,410 --> 00:12:01,037
That's a good reason
to give up on men altogether.
227
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,497
- Listen... You know what?
- Because of candy.
228
00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:04,127
You're one to give
advice, honey?
229
00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,174
I mean, why aren't
you with someone?
230
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,752
- You know what it is, Ma?
- What?
231
00:12:08,085 --> 00:12:10,588
I just haven't found a girl
232
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,762
who'll let me eat M&M's
in bed at night.
233
00:12:14,008 --> 00:12:15,180
Stop it!
234
00:12:15,259 --> 00:12:18,263
I mean, seriously, why is that
a legitimate excuse for you
235
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,519
and not for me?
You say the same thing.
236
00:12:20,598 --> 00:12:24,273
Because I've had my marriage.
I've had my family.
237
00:12:24,602 --> 00:12:27,446
I've been to the dance
and now I am tired.
238
00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:29,782
You are skipping the
dance altogether!
239
00:12:30,608 --> 00:12:32,030
Maybe you need therapy.
240
00:12:32,693 --> 00:12:34,195
Yeah. It helps me.
241
00:12:35,112 --> 00:12:36,284
I don't need therapy.
242
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,037
And since when do
you go to therapy?
243
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:41,370
Anita and I meet
once a week for coffee.
244
00:12:41,619 --> 00:12:44,463
Well, unless you two are meeting
a therapist for coffee,
245
00:12:44,705 --> 00:12:46,127
then you're not going to therapy,
246
00:12:46,207 --> 00:12:47,550
'cause Anita's a librarian.
247
00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:49,294
I'll tell you what we
mostly talk about...
248
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,425
- Yeah?
-...Is why I blame myself
249
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,974
for your deep-seated problems
with women.
250
00:12:54,216 --> 00:12:56,264
Good. You talk to Anita
about my deep-seated
251
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:59,142
problems with women
that you've imagined. Yeah.
252
00:12:59,971 --> 00:13:02,975
Sometimes I feel like
I ruined it for you.
253
00:13:03,308 --> 00:13:04,981
You know what? I know.
I know you do.
254
00:13:05,227 --> 00:13:07,730
You know why?
Because you set the bar so high
255
00:13:07,813 --> 00:13:09,656
for all other women,
that no one lives up to my mom.
256
00:13:09,898 --> 00:13:11,366
No, it's not that.
257
00:13:11,483 --> 00:13:13,611
It is. I'm going to sleep, Ma. Okay?
258
00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:16,197
No, I... Anita says
I should tell you about
259
00:13:16,321 --> 00:13:18,665
the boy I fell in love with in Florida.
260
00:13:20,158 --> 00:13:21,159
The what?
261
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,504
It's time you know
this about me, Andy.
262
00:13:23,745 --> 00:13:24,746
Know what?
263
00:13:24,996 --> 00:13:27,090
Well, there was this
incident in my life
264
00:13:27,165 --> 00:13:29,759
that I really never told you about.
265
00:13:30,502 --> 00:13:32,095
I went to Florida on vacation.
266
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:34,343
I was very young,
19, 20, something like that.
267
00:13:34,423 --> 00:13:35,424
Okay. Good.
268
00:13:35,507 --> 00:13:39,853
And I met a boy,
and I fell in love with him.
269
00:13:39,928 --> 00:13:41,054
Yeah.
270
00:13:41,513 --> 00:13:44,767
Honestly, Andy, I fell in love
with him kind of instantly.
271
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,272
Okay-
272
00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:48,445
He lived in Manhattan, too.
273
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,865
And so we came back and
we started seeing each other.
274
00:13:52,774 --> 00:13:57,200
He didn't want anything serious,
but I was just caught up with this...
275
00:13:57,446 --> 00:13:59,540
Oh, the passion of it all!
276
00:13:59,614 --> 00:14:01,207
Andy, we were so passionate.
277
00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:04,454
Feel free to skim over those
details as much as you want.
278
00:14:04,703 --> 00:14:06,705
- I won't gross you out.
- Yeah. That's cool.
279
00:14:06,955 --> 00:14:10,880
I mean, he didn't want to be
serious, really, at the time.
280
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:13,345
But I wanted a family, I wanted a baby.
281
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,967
That's all I ever really wanted.
282
00:14:16,131 --> 00:14:17,883
And so, eventually,
your father came along.
283
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:20,636
What about the guy from...
You met in Florida?
284
00:14:20,886 --> 00:14:22,604
Well, he became boyfriend number one
285
00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:24,723
and your dad became
boyfriend number two.
286
00:14:25,724 --> 00:14:27,317
- No, honey...
- That's nasty!
287
00:14:27,392 --> 00:14:28,735
It was a trampy year for Mommy.
288
00:14:31,396 --> 00:14:33,069
- Please. Anyway...
- Why are you telling me this?
289
00:14:33,231 --> 00:14:37,327
Your father proposed within,
like, a month, I think.
290
00:14:37,736 --> 00:14:40,080
So I went to the boy and I said,
291
00:14:40,405 --> 00:14:44,410
you know, "I met somebody
and he wants to marry me,"
292
00:14:44,743 --> 00:14:49,089
hoping that he would say,
"Joyce, you cannot do that.
293
00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:51,045
"You cannot marry this guy!"
294
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:55,008
But he didn't say that.
You know what he actually said?
295
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:57,923
He said, "You're great."
296
00:15:00,926 --> 00:15:04,271
But he told me to marry your father.
297
00:15:07,265 --> 00:15:08,767
Oh, God.
298
00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:11,277
I was so devastated.
299
00:15:12,604 --> 00:15:16,199
I was so devastated that
I couldn't even see him again.
300
00:15:16,441 --> 00:15:17,943
Well, what happened?
301
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,535
Well...
302
00:15:19,778 --> 00:15:22,782
What happened?
I married your father, we moved,
303
00:15:23,031 --> 00:15:25,033
I got pregnant, and...
304
00:15:25,784 --> 00:15:29,163
When we found out
it was a boy, you know,
305
00:15:29,955 --> 00:15:33,960
I started going through names,
as people do, and...
306
00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:39,472
You want your child to remind you
of someone you love... Loved!
307
00:15:40,215 --> 00:15:41,558
And so...
308
00:15:42,801 --> 00:15:47,147
I named you Andy
after the boy from Florida.
309
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:53,649
You want more ice cream?
310
00:15:56,815 --> 00:15:57,907
Holy shit.
311
00:15:58,149 --> 00:16:00,993
Andy! Please.
Enough with the language, okay?
312
00:16:01,319 --> 00:16:02,992
Did... Did Dad know about this?
313
00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:05,582
Now, that is not something
that you share
314
00:16:05,657 --> 00:16:07,000
with your husband. You know?
315
00:16:07,993 --> 00:16:09,836
Holy shit!
316
00:16:10,161 --> 00:16:11,458
What is wrong with you?
317
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,587
That is enough
with the street talk, okay?
318
00:16:13,833 --> 00:16:15,050
Ma, I...
319
00:16:15,585 --> 00:16:17,383
I need you to be honest with me, okay?
320
00:16:17,503 --> 00:16:18,675
Yes, I will.
321
00:16:19,672 --> 00:16:20,673
Is he my father?
322
00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:23,597
No, honey. No, he's not your father.
323
00:16:23,676 --> 00:16:24,768
No, no.
324
00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:26,938
It was two years later when I had you.
325
00:16:27,513 --> 00:16:29,857
His last name is Margolis.
326
00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:33,356
Andy Margolis.
327
00:16:33,686 --> 00:16:36,030
From J&R Advertising.
328
00:16:36,689 --> 00:16:38,407
Isn't it funny how I remember that?
329
00:16:38,524 --> 00:16:39,616
Yeah.
330
00:16:40,443 --> 00:16:41,569
Yeah.
331
00:16:56,959 --> 00:16:58,302
J&R.
332
00:16:58,544 --> 00:17:01,172
Hi. I'm trying to track down someone
333
00:17:01,255 --> 00:17:03,132
who used to work
in your New York office.
334
00:17:03,215 --> 00:17:06,890
Probably many years ago.
The name is Andy, or...
335
00:17:07,553 --> 00:17:09,726
Andrew Margolis?
336
00:17:10,056 --> 00:17:11,399
Hold on, please.
337
00:17:13,392 --> 00:17:17,067
Okay, I see that Andrew Margolis
is in our San Francisco offices.
338
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:21,242
Okay. Great! How long ago
did he work there?
339
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:24,116
No, sir. Mr. Margolis
is an Executive V.P.
340
00:17:24,236 --> 00:17:25,954
in our San Francisco office currently.
341
00:17:26,072 --> 00:17:27,039
Really?
342
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,741
Would you like to be connected?
343
00:17:29,075 --> 00:17:30,167
Okay!
344
00:17:31,327 --> 00:17:32,749
Andrew Margolis's office.
345
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,747
Seriously? No shit.
346
00:17:35,081 --> 00:17:38,426
Is... Is Andrew in, please?
347
00:17:38,751 --> 00:17:41,345
Mr. Margolis is in Europe
until next Monday.
348
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:42,421
This is Becky.
349
00:17:42,672 --> 00:17:46,017
Hi, Becky.
I'm a very old friend of Andrew's.
350
00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:51,768
We were in Nam together?
351
00:17:52,098 --> 00:17:53,850
Just backpacking though.
352
00:17:53,933 --> 00:17:56,311
And I thought it would be great
to see him again.
353
00:17:57,436 --> 00:17:59,780
So I guess he finally took the wife
354
00:17:59,855 --> 00:18:02,108
on that trip to Europe
she's always wanted, huh?
355
00:18:02,358 --> 00:18:04,486
Mr. Margolis isn't married, sir.
356
00:18:04,610 --> 00:18:06,863
ls there a specific message
you'd like to leave?
357
00:18:07,113 --> 00:18:09,207
No! No. So he gets back next Monday.
358
00:18:09,281 --> 00:18:10,282
Yes, he does.
359
00:18:10,616 --> 00:18:13,620
- Okay. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
360
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:19,963
Holy shit.
361
00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:23,178
I made eggs just the way you like them,
362
00:18:23,254 --> 00:18:24,301
and I used turkey bacon,
363
00:18:24,422 --> 00:18:26,925
which was on sale,
but I know it's still good.
364
00:18:27,341 --> 00:18:29,685
I'm always concerned
for your health, right?
365
00:18:30,678 --> 00:18:31,850
You know,
366
00:18:32,513 --> 00:18:35,062
I was up all night last night,
367
00:18:35,141 --> 00:18:37,519
because I was thinking
about your problems, Andy.
368
00:18:38,352 --> 00:18:41,526
Jessica was your first
serious relationship.
369
00:18:42,022 --> 00:18:43,695
So let's start with her.
370
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:47,616
I remember when you broke up,
but I can't remember why.
371
00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:49,530
Do you remember?
372
00:18:53,868 --> 00:18:56,371
Okay! We'll skip Jessica for now.
373
00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:58,331
What do you think
we should do today, honey?
374
00:18:58,414 --> 00:19:02,294
You know what? You have to remind me
to get Tylenol later,
375
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:03,673
'cause I'm running low.
376
00:19:03,753 --> 00:19:06,802
And I also told Gayle
that I would pick some up for her.
377
00:19:07,047 --> 00:19:08,344
Did I remember to call Gayle back?
378
00:19:08,424 --> 00:19:10,893
I don't know what's happening to me.
I'm getting forgetful.
379
00:19:11,093 --> 00:19:12,686
You want to come
on the trip with me, Mom?
380
00:19:16,056 --> 00:19:19,902
My road trip, that I'm going on. I...
381
00:19:21,395 --> 00:19:23,568
It's long,
382
00:19:23,898 --> 00:19:26,071
and I thought maybe
I could use some company
383
00:19:26,150 --> 00:19:28,744
in the form of you.
384
00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:35,415
You want to drive cross-country
in a car with me?
385
00:19:38,163 --> 00:19:39,164
Yeah!
386
00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:41,917
No, it's... You know,
we won't be gone long.
387
00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:44,340
It's only eight days in a car together,
388
00:19:44,419 --> 00:19:46,968
and then I got to be in San Francisco.
389
00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:48,924
My last meeting's in San Francisco now.
390
00:19:49,174 --> 00:19:50,517
What happened to Vegas?
391
00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:54,263
I got a new meeting last night
in San Francisco, so...
392
00:19:55,222 --> 00:19:57,190
Yeah! What do you say?
393
00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:59,893
If this is you worrying about me, Andy,
394
00:19:59,976 --> 00:20:02,354
you don't have to
because Mommy's fine.
395
00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:04,189
That's not at all what it is, Ma.
396
00:20:05,607 --> 00:20:06,608
What?
397
00:20:06,858 --> 00:20:08,860
I've had such a good time
398
00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,329
hanging out with you
these last few days,
399
00:20:11,404 --> 00:20:13,623
I thought it would be fun
400
00:20:14,115 --> 00:20:17,790
to hang out even more
and spend time with you.
401
00:20:18,912 --> 00:20:19,913
Wait a minute.
402
00:20:19,996 --> 00:20:23,125
I want to make sure that
I'm hearing this correctly.
403
00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:28,138
You want to spend a week
in a car with your mother.
404
00:20:28,797 --> 00:20:30,299
Is that what I heard?
405
00:20:30,799 --> 00:20:33,473
More than anything in the world.
406
00:20:33,802 --> 00:20:35,645
Don't you think I would drive you crazy?
407
00:20:36,972 --> 00:20:39,475
Don't you think I might get
on your nerves a little bit?
408
00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:41,271
No, you know what?
409
00:20:41,351 --> 00:20:43,353
It was just a thought and
if you don't want to do it, then fine.
410
00:20:43,436 --> 00:20:44,437
I don't want to push you...
411
00:20:44,521 --> 00:20:46,569
What? What? Am I so awful
that you can't spend
412
00:20:46,648 --> 00:20:47,820
a little time in a car with me?
413
00:20:48,066 --> 00:20:49,818
Jesus Christ, Ma,
how did you turn this around?
414
00:20:49,943 --> 00:20:51,866
I just invited you to... I'm inviting you!
415
00:20:51,945 --> 00:20:54,323
Do you want to drive
across the country with me?
416
00:20:54,447 --> 00:20:55,790
Well, I might have to reroute my mail.
417
00:20:55,866 --> 00:20:56,867
Okay!
418
00:20:56,992 --> 00:20:58,164
I'd have to miss my book club.
419
00:20:58,451 --> 00:21:01,955
Ma, you have five seconds to tell me
whether you want to go or not.
420
00:21:02,205 --> 00:21:03,878
And then I'm revoking my offer, okay?
421
00:21:03,957 --> 00:21:05,174
- Are you coming?
- Okay. One, two...
422
00:21:05,292 --> 00:21:07,135
I can't wait! What, are you kidding me?
423
00:21:07,377 --> 00:21:09,254
- Honey! That is so exciting!
- Okay, great! Good! I am!
424
00:21:09,504 --> 00:21:12,257
- Tate/eh! My boy, my boy!
- Okay... You really are.
425
00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:13,341
The sweetest...
426
00:21:13,425 --> 00:21:15,519
- Look at this! I love you!
- Okay, okay, easy.
427
00:21:15,844 --> 00:21:18,688
Oh, my God! I can't believe...
I have to call Gayle!
428
00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:20,022
Oh, my God!
429
00:21:20,098 --> 00:21:22,521
I'll have to retouch
my roots though before I go.
430
00:21:22,601 --> 00:21:23,602
What am I going to pack?
431
00:21:23,685 --> 00:21:25,562
You've got to fill me in
on all the weather conditions
432
00:21:25,645 --> 00:21:27,864
in all the states
that we're going to go through.
433
00:21:28,690 --> 00:21:31,864
Okay, it's fine. I got it.
It's fine. I got it.
434
00:21:32,110 --> 00:21:33,362
Are you sure you didn't forget anything?
435
00:21:33,445 --> 00:21:34,617
God, I don't know if
I forgot something.
436
00:21:34,696 --> 00:21:38,200
I don't think that's possible.
I may be getting a hernia.
437
00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:40,873
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I'll put that here.
438
00:21:41,536 --> 00:21:43,209
Good, there's not
too many people here.
439
00:21:43,538 --> 00:21:45,882
Honey, make sure to ask
if they have any kind of deal.
440
00:21:46,207 --> 00:21:47,208
Okay. I will do that.
441
00:21:47,876 --> 00:21:49,469
Hi, I'm Mark. I'll be assisting you.
442
00:21:49,544 --> 00:21:50,545
Do you have a reservation?
443
00:21:50,795 --> 00:21:52,468
I do. Last name is Brewster.
444
00:21:52,547 --> 00:21:54,720
Brewster. Okay.
445
00:21:54,799 --> 00:21:57,143
There it is. I just need a
valid license and credit card.
446
00:21:57,385 --> 00:21:59,058
- Ask him.
- Okay, I will. Please relax.
447
00:21:59,304 --> 00:22:01,557
Please calm down, Mom!
448
00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:04,894
Sorry, but I just want
to confirm I got an SUV
449
00:22:04,976 --> 00:22:06,228
with a GPS system in it?
450
00:22:06,311 --> 00:22:08,655
I have you in a Dodge Durango,
GPS included,
451
00:22:08,730 --> 00:22:09,822
returning in San Francisco.
452
00:22:09,898 --> 00:22:11,366
- Great.
- Do you really need an SUV?
453
00:22:11,441 --> 00:22:13,068
The gas'll cost more than the car.
454
00:22:13,318 --> 00:22:14,820
So that comes out to $112 a day.
455
00:22:15,070 --> 00:22:16,913
Wait, wait, wait! I got a coupon.
456
00:22:17,155 --> 00:22:20,750
Good. Yeah. That works.
It takes 15% off, so...
457
00:22:21,576 --> 00:22:25,831
It brings your new total to $940.
Excuse me one second.
458
00:22:26,081 --> 00:22:28,004
- Way to go! Yeah.
- That was very exciting.
459
00:22:28,083 --> 00:22:29,551
- I was going to ask.
- Really.
460
00:22:29,626 --> 00:22:30,673
- Yes!
- I thought you forgot.
461
00:22:30,752 --> 00:22:33,346
You thought in the two seconds
since you reminded me...
462
00:22:33,588 --> 00:22:37,263
Anyway! Anyway, nowadays
small cars are fine in the snow.
463
00:22:37,509 --> 00:22:39,011
They probably have that GPS thing.
464
00:22:39,344 --> 00:22:41,438
They don't. Okay?
Only big cars have GPS.
465
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,024
Actually, our GPS systems
are separate.
466
00:22:44,099 --> 00:22:45,851
You can rent them with any car.
467
00:22:46,101 --> 00:22:49,025
And our economy cars
handle quite well in the snow.
468
00:22:51,107 --> 00:22:52,529
- Thank you, Mark.
- You're welcome.
469
00:22:52,858 --> 00:22:55,532
So we'll just go by the circus,
drop off our clowns...
470
00:22:55,778 --> 00:22:57,621
Andy, stop it! It's adorable.
471
00:22:57,863 --> 00:22:59,706
You sure you don't mind driving, Ma?
472
00:22:59,949 --> 00:23:01,576
No, honey.
You work on your presentation.
473
00:23:01,659 --> 00:23:02,956
I got my Book on Tape.
474
00:23:06,539 --> 00:23:07,540
What are you doing, Ma?
475
00:23:07,790 --> 00:23:09,463
Trying to find my Book on Tape.
476
00:23:09,709 --> 00:23:11,882
Okay. Just keep your eyes
on the road, for God sakes!
477
00:23:12,128 --> 00:23:14,222
- Here it is.
- Okay, okay!
478
00:23:16,215 --> 00:23:18,968
It's called Middlesex.
This tape is excellent.
479
00:23:19,218 --> 00:23:22,142
It's about a hermaphrodite.
You know, a boy and a girl?
480
00:23:22,972 --> 00:23:24,645
Two different parts in one person?
481
00:23:24,890 --> 00:23:26,563
I... Yes, I know that.
482
00:23:26,809 --> 00:23:28,186
It was in Oprah's Book Club once.
483
00:23:28,352 --> 00:23:29,774
Say no more!
484
00:23:35,484 --> 00:23:36,827
You'll like this.
485
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:53,961
I love spoons.
486
00:23:56,839 --> 00:23:58,762
You know what? That's enough
Middlesex for now, I think.
487
00:23:59,008 --> 00:24:00,351
That's good. Yeah, we're...
488
00:24:00,593 --> 00:24:03,437
So, what's the plan,
my little co-captain?
489
00:24:03,679 --> 00:24:06,353
Well, I got three meetings today,
490
00:24:06,599 --> 00:24:07,942
and then I got a few in Virginia,
491
00:24:08,017 --> 00:24:09,610
and the last one is in Roanoke.
492
00:24:09,852 --> 00:24:11,195
Roanoke!
493
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,864
Then Texas is next. Costco. That's...
494
00:24:14,190 --> 00:24:17,034
That's a big one,
so if we want to get there in time,
495
00:24:17,109 --> 00:24:18,531
we got to be in Tennessee by Tuesday.
496
00:24:18,778 --> 00:24:21,281
You know who lives
in Tennessee, right?
497
00:24:21,530 --> 00:24:22,622
Yes, I do. So after that...
498
00:24:22,865 --> 00:24:24,208
Jessica in Nashville.
499
00:24:24,325 --> 00:24:25,326
I know.
500
00:24:25,451 --> 00:24:26,873
You know, I ran into
her mother recently.
501
00:24:26,952 --> 00:24:28,204
She says it's lovely there!
502
00:24:28,454 --> 00:24:29,797
I'm sure it is. So...
503
00:24:29,997 --> 00:24:31,340
You know,
I spoke to Anita this morning.
504
00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:33,258
Anita says that it would be good for you
505
00:24:33,334 --> 00:24:35,553
to get some closure
with that relationship.
506
00:24:35,795 --> 00:24:38,048
So if we have time,
we should meet up with her.
507
00:24:38,297 --> 00:24:40,720
From Texas, we head to Santa Fe,
508
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,973
where I have one more pitch,
then Vegas.
509
00:24:43,219 --> 00:24:45,722
A morn and her baby boy in Vegas.
Sounds like fun!
510
00:24:45,805 --> 00:24:48,308
That's their new slogan,
I think, for tourism.
511
00:24:48,390 --> 00:24:50,518
"A mom and her baby boy
in Vegas." Yeah.
512
00:24:52,895 --> 00:24:56,069
You know, I can't stop thinking about...
513
00:24:56,398 --> 00:24:57,399
What, honey?
514
00:24:57,650 --> 00:24:59,493
About that story you told me
the other night, honestly.
515
00:24:59,568 --> 00:25:00,660
About Andy Margolis.
516
00:25:00,903 --> 00:25:03,531
I mean, tell me more about him.
What was it...
517
00:25:03,614 --> 00:25:05,036
What was it about him
that you liked so much?
518
00:25:06,242 --> 00:25:07,494
I don't know.
519
00:25:07,743 --> 00:25:10,246
Broad shoulders, you know.
Oops! Sorry.
520
00:25:10,579 --> 00:25:14,425
Okay, what else?
Anything less physically based?
521
00:25:16,085 --> 00:25:17,837
I was cross-eyed when I was a little girl.
522
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:18,921
I told you that, right?
523
00:25:19,171 --> 00:25:21,674
What does this have to do
with what I asked you?
524
00:25:21,924 --> 00:25:25,178
Well, one day I meet this boy,
out of nowhere.
525
00:25:25,511 --> 00:25:28,811
Andy Margolis.
We went out on this first date.
526
00:25:29,265 --> 00:25:33,611
We were dancing,
and he told me that I was beautiful.
527
00:25:35,354 --> 00:25:38,699
He was the first person
to ever tell me that.
528
00:25:43,612 --> 00:25:45,364
Don't you ever wonder, like, where he is,
529
00:25:45,447 --> 00:25:46,448
what happened to him?
530
00:25:46,782 --> 00:25:48,034
A little bit?
531
00:25:48,617 --> 00:25:51,962
It's in the past, Andy. It's in the past.
532
00:25:55,457 --> 00:25:58,131
I could probably
find him if you really wanted.
533
00:25:58,377 --> 00:25:59,970
Don't you dare!
534
00:26:00,045 --> 00:26:01,797
He's probably fat
and obnoxious by now.
535
00:26:01,964 --> 00:26:03,261
Maybe he's just fat.
536
00:26:09,389 --> 00:26:12,017
What are you doing? No, no!
Don't move their stuff around!
537
00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:14,319
What are you doing?
Just put it on the floor.
538
00:26:14,436 --> 00:26:16,689
No, I don't put things on the floor.
The floor is dirty.
539
00:26:17,063 --> 00:26:18,861
The floor is too dirty for your purse?
540
00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:21,034
You've been using that tissue in there
for the last three days.
541
00:26:21,109 --> 00:26:22,110
Well, there's always a clean side.
542
00:26:22,277 --> 00:26:24,405
But it's true.
You keep shoving it back in there.
543
00:26:24,487 --> 00:26:26,114
I know, but I don't do things like that.
544
00:26:26,198 --> 00:26:28,496
And anyway I forgot, I got my gizmo.
545
00:26:31,661 --> 00:26:32,662
Purse hook.
546
00:26:32,996 --> 00:26:34,339
Of course.
547
00:26:40,128 --> 00:26:41,129
What are you...
548
00:26:41,213 --> 00:26:42,214
What?
549
00:26:42,297 --> 00:26:43,844
You did something to me. What is that?
550
00:26:44,174 --> 00:26:45,847
Just pick it up. Push it back.
551
00:26:46,092 --> 00:26:47,435
- No. It's fine.
- Show your face.
552
00:26:47,677 --> 00:26:49,554
- Ma, my hair looks fine.
- Okay, okay.
553
00:26:49,638 --> 00:26:50,685
Is it weird?
554
00:26:50,764 --> 00:26:52,937
- No, it's nice now.
- Did you make it look weirder?
555
00:26:53,016 --> 00:26:54,359
Thank you.
556
00:26:56,102 --> 00:26:57,228
Honey, I know you're nervous,
557
00:26:57,312 --> 00:26:58,780
but your show is going to be great.
558
00:26:59,022 --> 00:27:01,024
It's a pitch. It's a...
559
00:27:02,108 --> 00:27:03,155
It's called a pitch, Mom.
560
00:27:03,443 --> 00:27:04,444
Whatever it's called.
561
00:27:04,527 --> 00:27:06,529
It's going to be great, I can feel it.
562
00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:08,123
I'm glad.
563
00:27:09,532 --> 00:27:10,704
Okay-
564
00:27:11,368 --> 00:27:13,041
- You focus.
- I'm trying.
565
00:27:13,286 --> 00:27:15,254
And while you're focusing,
566
00:27:15,872 --> 00:27:18,375
I'm going to play my game.
567
00:27:21,378 --> 00:27:23,051
Till they call you.
568
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,223
All right!
569
00:27:37,227 --> 00:27:39,070
What? I'm playing slots, what?
570
00:27:39,312 --> 00:27:41,235
Yeah, it's incredibly loud!
571
00:27:41,481 --> 00:27:43,324
- Mr. Brewster?
- Yes, hi there!
572
00:27:43,566 --> 00:27:44,658
Hi there! They're ready for you.
573
00:27:44,734 --> 00:27:46,407
Oh, fantastic! Great, good.
574
00:27:47,153 --> 00:27:48,621
No. What are you doing?
575
00:27:48,697 --> 00:27:50,040
- Going with you?
- No.
576
00:27:50,198 --> 00:27:51,541
- You can't come.
- Why not?
577
00:27:51,741 --> 00:27:53,414
I can't bring my mother in!
It'll look crazy.
578
00:27:53,660 --> 00:27:55,333
They don't know I'm your mother.
579
00:27:55,412 --> 00:27:56,834
That's even weirder. Then who are you?
580
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,457
- Do you need a minute?
- No, I'm good!
581
00:27:58,540 --> 00:27:59,587
Thank you. I'm okay. Great.
What are you...
582
00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:01,176
- He's ready.
- Please...
583
00:28:01,418 --> 00:28:03,091
Thank you! Hi! Thank you very much!
584
00:28:03,336 --> 00:28:05,088
- Thank you.
- Great!
585
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:07,841
Good luck, sweetheart!
586
00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,598
Thank you, ma'am! Nice to meet you!
587
00:28:11,511 --> 00:28:14,185
Scieoclean is the only product
that harnesses
588
00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:16,274
the sustainable, renewable
cleaning power
589
00:28:16,349 --> 00:28:17,601
of these three products.
590
00:28:17,934 --> 00:28:22,280
Now, this is a top-of-the-line
digital pH meter.
591
00:28:22,605 --> 00:28:24,357
This is our competitor's product.
592
00:28:24,858 --> 00:28:27,532
Okay. Well, thank you
for your time, Andrew.
593
00:28:28,445 --> 00:28:31,119
That's it? I have FDA approval, and...
594
00:28:31,448 --> 00:28:34,122
I just don't think it's for us.
595
00:28:34,451 --> 00:28:37,625
But I want you to leave a card.
We'll be in touch.
596
00:28:44,294 --> 00:28:45,637
Honey!
597
00:28:46,796 --> 00:28:48,514
- How did it go?
- I don't want to jinx it,
598
00:28:48,590 --> 00:28:49,967
but I think it went pretty good, actually.
599
00:28:50,091 --> 00:28:51,764
- Really? Good job, sweetheart.
- Yeah.
600
00:28:55,138 --> 00:28:58,312
This is going to be good.
This is going to be really good.
601
00:28:58,641 --> 00:29:01,144
I can't wait to see what happens, right?
602
00:29:01,811 --> 00:29:04,735
Look! The World's Largest
Praying Hands are in Tulsa!
603
00:29:04,981 --> 00:29:08,656
The World's Largest
Rubik's Cube is in Tennessee!
604
00:29:08,902 --> 00:29:10,199
The Grand Canyon!
605
00:29:10,278 --> 00:29:12,576
I've always wanted to see
the Grand Canyon!
606
00:29:12,781 --> 00:29:14,454
No time, Ma. Tight schedule.
607
00:29:14,741 --> 00:29:15,742
Maybe next time.
608
00:29:17,452 --> 00:29:18,453
Thank you.
609
00:29:20,830 --> 00:29:21,922
Hey.
610
00:29:21,998 --> 00:29:24,000
- Good? Did it go good?
- Yeah, it seemed to go really good.
611
00:29:24,250 --> 00:29:25,843
You have a nice smile on your face.
612
00:29:25,919 --> 00:29:26,920
Here, take a little water.
613
00:29:28,005 --> 00:29:29,598
Andy, I think
you're going the wrong way.
614
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,013
We are not going the wrong way!
615
00:29:32,927 --> 00:29:34,429
Well, that must feel good.
616
00:29:38,766 --> 00:29:40,268
Why are you calling me, Ma?
617
00:29:40,518 --> 00:29:42,236
Just go to the bathroom
and come back!
618
00:29:42,311 --> 00:29:44,188
What are you doing in there?
619
00:29:44,438 --> 00:29:47,191
No, I don't want French fries!
Just come back!
620
00:29:53,614 --> 00:29:54,831
- Andy.
- Yeah.
621
00:29:54,907 --> 00:29:57,376
Promise me you'll never
pick up a hitchhiker, okay?
622
00:29:57,618 --> 00:29:59,586
I promise I will never
pick up a hitchhiker.
623
00:29:59,662 --> 00:30:01,664
Good. They rape.
624
00:30:03,457 --> 00:30:04,834
You think they have a Gap Outlet here?
625
00:30:04,917 --> 00:30:05,964
A Gap Outlet?
626
00:30:06,043 --> 00:30:07,795
I'm having Gap withdrawal!
627
00:30:08,546 --> 00:30:10,219
- Oh, good. Thank you.
- Sure thing.
628
00:30:11,298 --> 00:30:13,346
Look at this.
629
00:30:14,301 --> 00:30:16,178
- Evening.
- Thank you.
630
00:30:16,470 --> 00:30:18,143
Andy, look, they have a gift shop!
631
00:30:18,389 --> 00:30:20,892
Great. You go over there.
632
00:30:23,727 --> 00:30:26,776
Hi. Do you have any
rooms available for the night?
633
00:30:27,565 --> 00:30:30,409
Well, of course!
A room for you and your lady?
634
00:30:31,318 --> 00:30:32,740
My "lady"?
635
00:30:32,820 --> 00:30:35,073
Andy, look, look!
They have clip-on frog earrings!
636
00:30:37,741 --> 00:30:40,415
No! Dude, that's... Don't wink at me!
637
00:30:40,744 --> 00:30:42,746
That's horrible! That's my mother!
638
00:30:42,997 --> 00:30:45,341
Are you insane?
I need two rooms, okay?
639
00:30:45,583 --> 00:30:47,005
Andy, don't be ridiculous.
640
00:30:47,084 --> 00:30:48,336
Is that what you said? Two rooms?
641
00:30:48,586 --> 00:30:50,429
It's not ridiculous. It's very necessary.
642
00:30:50,671 --> 00:30:52,594
- It's a waste of money!
- Not wasting money.
643
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,763
- Two separate rooms.
- Sorry.
644
00:30:55,092 --> 00:30:56,093
Don't be sorry!
645
00:30:56,177 --> 00:30:59,431
Just don't imply that
I am sleeping with my mother.
646
00:30:59,930 --> 00:31:03,434
I am ready to go to market
and I have full FDA approval!
647
00:31:04,185 --> 00:31:07,189
That sounds very impressive, Andy!
648
00:31:07,271 --> 00:31:10,946
FDA approval! That is fancy.
649
00:31:11,275 --> 00:31:13,118
- Very fancy.
- Thank you, Ma. Good.
650
00:31:13,277 --> 00:31:15,075
- I do have a few thoughts.
- Great.
651
00:31:15,446 --> 00:31:17,289
It's just a little hard to follow.
652
00:31:17,531 --> 00:31:20,330
I'm still a little unclear,
with all the coconuts...
653
00:31:20,409 --> 00:31:23,458
What was that thing? "Dermal"?
For the skin?
654
00:31:23,537 --> 00:31:25,631
Yeah. Dermal. Skin.
Yeah, I'm saying like...
655
00:31:25,873 --> 00:31:29,218
I'm saying it's safe if you get it
on your skin or in your eyes
656
00:31:29,460 --> 00:31:31,462
or if you ingest it by accident, you know?
657
00:31:31,670 --> 00:31:33,013
Well, why don't you just say that?
658
00:31:33,297 --> 00:31:35,641
I mean, keep it simple. Make it clear.
659
00:31:35,966 --> 00:31:37,764
I would get personal with them, too.
660
00:31:37,843 --> 00:31:40,722
Like, you talk about their kids,
talk about their pets.
661
00:31:40,971 --> 00:31:43,065
Possibly seeing one of their loved ones
662
00:31:43,140 --> 00:31:45,814
writhing in agony on the floor
because they just
663
00:31:46,060 --> 00:31:49,155
accidentally swallowed some
of these other brands, you know?
664
00:31:49,396 --> 00:31:50,693
That's good. You know
what I should do is actually
665
00:31:50,773 --> 00:31:52,616
bring in a kid and poison it
in front of them.
666
00:31:52,691 --> 00:31:53,783
And then they could actually just see
667
00:31:53,859 --> 00:31:55,532
-what that would be like.
- Now you're being silly.
668
00:31:55,611 --> 00:31:57,409
I'm just saying, if it's safe
to put on your skin,
669
00:31:57,488 --> 00:31:58,580
then put it on your skin.
670
00:31:58,656 --> 00:31:59,657
If it's safe to drink it...
671
00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:00,992
- Yeah.
-...drink it.
672
00:32:01,158 --> 00:32:02,501
Real good thinking, yeah.
673
00:32:02,743 --> 00:32:05,166
You probably need to flavour it.
674
00:32:05,454 --> 00:32:06,580
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
675
00:32:06,664 --> 00:32:09,008
Cherry flavour, maybe, or root beer.
676
00:32:09,667 --> 00:32:11,385
It's a cleaning product, Ma,
677
00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:13,007
so root beer might be kind of a weird...
678
00:32:13,254 --> 00:32:14,756
No, no! Oh, mint! Mint.
679
00:32:15,005 --> 00:32:16,678
I'm just saying, if you drank it,
680
00:32:17,007 --> 00:32:19,726
it would make it
certainly more entertaining.
681
00:32:19,802 --> 00:32:21,270
You know? Make it more of a show.
682
00:32:22,179 --> 00:32:25,353
Well, I'm a scientist, Ma,
I'm not a performer.
683
00:32:25,683 --> 00:32:29,062
So, it's not really
my priority to make it a show.
684
00:32:29,144 --> 00:32:30,361
I'm not a showman, Ma.
685
00:32:30,604 --> 00:32:32,277
- That is nonsense, honey.
- Yeah.
686
00:32:32,356 --> 00:32:34,529
Remember how good you were
in Man of La Mancha?
687
00:32:34,775 --> 00:32:36,118
People like a performance.
688
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,112
You're right. No, you're right.
That's a great idea.
689
00:32:38,195 --> 00:32:40,197
I should just do
Man of La Mancha maybe.
690
00:32:40,281 --> 00:32:42,033
I... You know what?
I'll tell you what I would do.
691
00:32:42,116 --> 00:32:43,117
What would you do?
692
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,294
I would change the name, too.
693
00:32:45,369 --> 00:32:47,043
Because, look at this,
this is very confusing.
694
00:32:47,372 --> 00:32:49,215
- What is it? Psycho clean?
- No.
695
00:32:49,541 --> 00:32:51,509
- Skyoclean? Science Clean.
- No.
696
00:32:51,793 --> 00:32:54,467
It's Scieoclean, and it's kind
of hard to change the name
697
00:32:54,713 --> 00:32:58,058
because it's written on 10,000 bottles
that I've already paid for. So...
698
00:32:58,133 --> 00:32:59,635
Well, it's just peculiar, is all.
699
00:32:59,884 --> 00:33:02,558
Okay, I'll change the name.
Okay? Great. Okay. Good.
700
00:33:02,887 --> 00:33:04,981
Andy, I'm having such a great time!
701
00:33:05,056 --> 00:33:06,057
That's good, Ma.
702
00:33:06,141 --> 00:33:08,985
Because I never get to go
to nice places like this.
703
00:33:09,227 --> 00:33:10,228
It's true.
704
00:33:10,312 --> 00:33:12,565
This place has a quarter of a star,
so that's pretty good.
705
00:33:12,897 --> 00:33:16,242
Do you know that they have a free
continental breakfast here?
706
00:33:16,484 --> 00:33:19,658
I'm glad you're having such
a cultured trip with me, Ma.
707
00:33:19,904 --> 00:33:23,408
- I'm in absolute heaven.
- Good. Well, you know what?
708
00:33:24,743 --> 00:33:28,088
I'm pretty tired.
Maybe it's time we go to sleep.
709
00:33:28,163 --> 00:33:30,257
- I should let you sleep.
- Thank you.
710
00:33:30,498 --> 00:33:32,921
- I am so sorry.
- No problem. Thank you.
711
00:33:33,168 --> 00:33:34,715
And we don't want to
miss that breakfast, do we?
712
00:33:34,794 --> 00:33:37,172
- No. Of course. Good night.
- Okay, okay.
713
00:34:06,117 --> 00:34:08,586
Are you chewing
on marbles over there?
714
00:34:08,662 --> 00:34:10,289
What is that sound, Ma?
What are you doing?
715
00:34:10,538 --> 00:34:11,630
What am I doing?
716
00:34:11,873 --> 00:34:14,092
I don't know what... It's really loud!
717
00:34:14,167 --> 00:34:15,168
I'm sorry.
718
00:34:15,251 --> 00:34:17,800
Is that tin foil you're playing with?
719
00:34:18,630 --> 00:34:20,303
- Just my M&M's.
- Oh.
720
00:34:20,548 --> 00:34:22,550
Okay, okay. You go to sleep.
721
00:34:22,967 --> 00:34:24,640
See you in the morning.
722
00:34:47,492 --> 00:34:49,540
You can take one of my books
into the bathroom
723
00:34:49,619 --> 00:34:50,836
if you have to make.
724
00:35:05,969 --> 00:35:06,970
Okay-
725
00:35:09,681 --> 00:35:11,228
It's getting really dark, isn't it?
726
00:35:11,307 --> 00:35:13,025
God, I hope it doesn't snow.
727
00:35:13,351 --> 00:35:16,696
Honey, we're in Tennessee.
It doesn't snow in Tennessee.
728
00:35:21,025 --> 00:35:24,370
You see? This is this
climate change thing!
729
00:35:24,612 --> 00:35:26,956
It's good I brought clothes
for all kinds of weather.
730
00:35:27,198 --> 00:35:29,041
- What are you doing?
- I'm getting my coat out!
731
00:35:29,159 --> 00:35:30,160
You're not being helpful!
732
00:35:30,243 --> 00:35:31,369
You're distracting me! Just sit down!
733
00:35:31,619 --> 00:35:32,620
Where's your coat?
734
00:35:32,704 --> 00:35:34,297
This is not very helpful right now.
735
00:35:34,539 --> 00:35:36,883
I can't believe I let you
talk me out of getting an SUV.
736
00:35:36,958 --> 00:35:37,959
I can't believe this.
737
00:35:40,211 --> 00:35:42,305
Andy, just drive slow, okay?
738
00:35:42,380 --> 00:35:43,552
Don't worry about
what the truckers think.
739
00:35:43,798 --> 00:35:45,266
I'm not worried about
what the truckers think!
740
00:35:45,341 --> 00:35:46,342
Why would I be worried about...
741
00:35:47,552 --> 00:35:48,553
Don't scream!
742
00:35:48,636 --> 00:35:49,637
Let's just get off this road!
743
00:35:49,721 --> 00:35:50,722
Maybe we should call Jessica!
744
00:35:50,972 --> 00:35:53,475
- You've got to be kidding me!
- Okay, we won't call her!
745
00:35:53,725 --> 00:35:55,898
No, we got a flat tire!
746
00:35:55,977 --> 00:35:58,230
Oh, this is a nightmare!
I'm pulling over.
747
00:35:58,480 --> 00:35:59,823
Good. Pull over!
748
00:36:00,064 --> 00:36:02,066
- Oh, we're going to die, Ma!
-No, we're not.
749
00:36:02,317 --> 00:36:04,285
- Where's your coat?
- Please stop talking.
750
00:36:04,652 --> 00:36:05,996
You know what? I deserve this.
751
00:36:06,071 --> 00:36:07,914
This is what you get
for driving cross-country
752
00:36:07,990 --> 00:36:09,412
in a skateboard.
753
00:36:09,658 --> 00:36:10,830
Don't dwell on the past.
754
00:36:10,910 --> 00:36:12,002
It's just crazy. It's totally crazy.
755
00:36:12,244 --> 00:36:13,291
- It could be worse.
- Are you kidding me?
756
00:36:13,370 --> 00:36:14,747
Look, we're seeing! We're alive!
757
00:36:14,997 --> 00:36:16,965
- Okay, yeah, we're alive.
- Just thank God for that.
758
00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:18,167
- Okay?
- Okay. I'm going to get out...
759
00:36:18,250 --> 00:36:19,297
Where's your coat?
760
00:36:19,376 --> 00:36:20,923
I don't need a coat!
I'll be back in two seconds, okay?
761
00:36:21,003 --> 00:36:22,425
- You want to take my scarf?
- No. I'm fine!
762
00:36:22,671 --> 00:36:25,345
You're so macho!
What are you proving here?
763
00:36:25,591 --> 00:36:27,593
Be careful you don't slip!
764
00:36:27,927 --> 00:36:30,555
Andy, your feet are going to get soaked!
765
00:36:30,638 --> 00:36:32,606
Where are your galoshes?
766
00:36:33,182 --> 00:36:34,525
Oh, come on.
767
00:36:36,936 --> 00:36:39,109
You're used to California,
that's what it is.
768
00:36:39,188 --> 00:36:41,111
You don't know from galoshes.
769
00:36:41,774 --> 00:36:43,117
I don't know.
770
00:36:43,776 --> 00:36:45,449
I don't know. It...
771
00:36:46,111 --> 00:36:48,614
They don't look... They don't look flat.
772
00:36:49,114 --> 00:36:51,537
Well, something must be
wrong with it, you know?
773
00:36:51,617 --> 00:36:52,618
I don't know what's wrong.
774
00:36:52,701 --> 00:36:54,294
Why don't we call Triple A?
775
00:36:54,370 --> 00:36:55,462
Look, there's a restaurant there.
776
00:36:55,704 --> 00:36:59,208
Let's go and wait inside.
Oh... Does that say "tapas"?
777
00:36:59,458 --> 00:37:01,051
I love tapas!
778
00:37:01,293 --> 00:37:03,136
That's not what it says, Ma!
779
00:37:09,593 --> 00:37:12,267
This place smells like strawberry gum.
780
00:37:12,596 --> 00:37:14,769
Please don't sit near me.
781
00:37:15,599 --> 00:37:17,272
When I was younger,
782
00:37:18,060 --> 00:37:21,234
your father tried to make me go
to one of these places with him.
783
00:37:21,313 --> 00:37:22,485
He thought it would be "sexy."
784
00:37:24,567 --> 00:37:26,569
Yeah. What can I say?
785
00:37:27,444 --> 00:37:28,661
It's not that, is it?
786
00:37:29,905 --> 00:37:32,454
- What? Excuse me? What?
- Your problems with women.
787
00:37:32,908 --> 00:37:36,082
Do you think any of it is sexual?
788
00:37:36,412 --> 00:37:37,959
I actually almost threw up
all over the table
789
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:39,047
-when you asked me that.
- Stop saying that.
790
00:37:39,123 --> 00:37:40,375
I almost projectile vomited
791
00:37:40,457 --> 00:37:41,583
-all over the bar.
- Oh, please.
792
00:37:41,792 --> 00:37:43,886
You know, come to think of it,
when you were a baby,
793
00:37:43,961 --> 00:37:45,963
about two months old,
794
00:37:46,255 --> 00:37:48,678
your penis started turning purple.
I swear.
795
00:37:48,757 --> 00:37:50,009
- Please stop.
-If I didn't inspect
796
00:37:50,092 --> 00:37:52,811
that penis carefully
every day, till you were five.
797
00:37:52,970 --> 00:37:54,643
I'm begging you
to stop talking right now.
798
00:37:54,805 --> 00:37:57,479
You'd tell me if your penis
started turning purple again, right?
799
00:37:57,808 --> 00:37:59,481
My penis could literally grow an eyeball
800
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:00,561
and I wouldn't tell you about it.
801
00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:01,812
I just worry about you.
802
00:38:01,979 --> 00:38:04,232
- The colour of my penis...
- It's not purple.
803
00:38:04,607 --> 00:38:05,608
It's pink. Hi!
804
00:38:06,483 --> 00:38:08,281
- Thank you.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
805
00:38:08,485 --> 00:38:10,908
The roads are pretty awful.
806
00:38:10,988 --> 00:38:13,161
Could take the tow truck quite a while.
807
00:38:13,616 --> 00:38:15,414
Our girl Moonlight's
pretty good with cars.
808
00:38:15,492 --> 00:38:17,165
You want me to ask her to take a look?
809
00:38:17,494 --> 00:38:18,666
Who's Moonlight?
810
00:38:19,163 --> 00:38:21,006
Oh, my gosh, this is
the cutest little thing.
811
00:38:21,457 --> 00:38:24,006
That's very nice of you, Moonlight.
812
00:38:24,084 --> 00:38:25,961
I just wish you were wearing
something warmer.
813
00:38:26,170 --> 00:38:28,514
Oh, that's sweet of you, but I'm fine.
814
00:38:28,797 --> 00:38:31,391
- Put your hood up, honey.
- No. I don't want to.
815
00:38:32,092 --> 00:38:34,641
Oh. Here it is.
816
00:38:34,970 --> 00:38:37,644
You got ice frozen up around the tire.
817
00:38:37,848 --> 00:38:40,647
It's blocking the wheel and making it
feel like you got a flat.
818
00:38:40,768 --> 00:38:41,769
- My God!
- You sure about that?
819
00:38:41,852 --> 00:38:42,853
You sure it's not flat?
820
00:38:43,145 --> 00:38:44,488
I'm positive.
821
00:38:46,148 --> 00:38:47,991
Wow! She really is a mechanic!
822
00:38:48,192 --> 00:38:49,694
She really knows what she's doing.
823
00:38:49,818 --> 00:38:51,536
My God, you weren't kidding.
824
00:38:51,695 --> 00:38:53,038
Thank you very much.
825
00:38:53,322 --> 00:38:54,995
Those heels come in handy.
I'm very impressed.
826
00:38:56,158 --> 00:38:58,957
May I interest you in a private dance?
827
00:38:59,036 --> 00:39:00,959
Oh! I'd love... Thank you,
828
00:39:01,038 --> 00:39:03,962
but maybe another time
when my mom's not here.
829
00:39:04,041 --> 00:39:05,543
Oh!
830
00:39:05,668 --> 00:39:07,341
- Great. Thank you.
- Okay.
831
00:39:07,419 --> 00:39:08,591
God bless, y'all!
832
00:39:08,712 --> 00:39:10,806
- Bye bye! Cover up!
- Oh, thank you, Miss Joyce.
833
00:39:10,881 --> 00:39:13,384
They're saying you shouldn't
get on the highway right now.
834
00:39:13,509 --> 00:39:14,556
Are you staying local?
835
00:39:14,843 --> 00:39:16,720
Yeah, we'll just get
a hotel or something, I guess.
836
00:39:17,179 --> 00:39:19,352
Well, actually,
we don't have to because...
837
00:39:19,682 --> 00:39:21,229
It's going to be tough finding
a room anywhere in this.
838
00:39:21,350 --> 00:39:22,317
I bet.
839
00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:23,736
You got anywhere you can crash?
840
00:39:23,811 --> 00:39:26,065
- Yeah!
- No. We do not.
841
00:39:26,356 --> 00:39:28,358
- We do know somebody.
- We don't.
842
00:39:28,775 --> 00:39:30,197
- Don't you think we...
- No, we don't.
843
00:39:30,694 --> 00:39:32,537
We could call... You know.
844
00:39:32,654 --> 00:39:34,907
Jessica, thanks
for picking us up, honey.
845
00:39:35,365 --> 00:39:36,867
Your mother fills me in occasionally.
846
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,043
How have you been, honey?
847
00:39:39,536 --> 00:39:42,210
Well, pregnant, Mrs. B.
848
00:39:42,706 --> 00:39:46,131
Yeah, I'm due again in April.
I feel like a house.
849
00:39:46,418 --> 00:39:47,920
Oh, no. Well, you look fantastic!
850
00:39:48,211 --> 00:39:49,428
Yeah. You look very pretty, still.
851
00:39:49,546 --> 00:39:50,763
Oh, well, thank you. I...
852
00:39:51,548 --> 00:39:52,891
I appreciate the lie.
853
00:39:53,008 --> 00:39:54,510
No, not a lie at all.
854
00:39:55,552 --> 00:39:57,725
Honestly, I don't know
how I keep getting pregnant.
855
00:39:57,804 --> 00:39:59,226
I got a theory.
856
00:39:59,305 --> 00:40:01,273
It's called two margaritas
and Love Actually.
857
00:40:02,934 --> 00:40:04,231
Every time, right?
858
00:40:06,396 --> 00:40:07,443
Very nice house!
859
00:40:07,564 --> 00:40:09,566
Yeah. Very lovely colour. Good paint job.
860
00:40:09,899 --> 00:40:12,573
- New paint job, new fixtures.
-It's very beautifully done.
861
00:40:12,902 --> 00:40:14,654
It's quite a setup you have here.
862
00:40:14,738 --> 00:40:15,739
Well, thanks.
863
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:17,741
Yeah, we like it.
864
00:40:17,907 --> 00:40:20,285
I think it took a while
for my Jersey girl here
865
00:40:20,368 --> 00:40:22,245
to get adjusted, but I think she digs it.
866
00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:23,792
Yeah, I do.
867
00:40:23,872 --> 00:40:25,715
So, wait... So, Andy, you and Jessica
868
00:40:25,790 --> 00:40:27,087
were high school sweethearts?
869
00:40:27,167 --> 00:40:29,465
Yeah, we dated for a while
in high school. Yeah.
870
00:40:29,711 --> 00:40:31,429
It was great. It was a really fun time.
871
00:40:31,755 --> 00:40:33,632
Oh, wow. Hey, you know,
she talks about you all the time.
872
00:40:33,965 --> 00:40:35,842
- Oh!
- Really? That's funny,
873
00:40:35,925 --> 00:40:37,973
because we've been talking
about Jessica a lot.
874
00:40:38,261 --> 00:40:41,390
I don't know if we
talk about her a lot. Have we?
875
00:40:41,473 --> 00:40:43,271
I mean, a normal amount.
876
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,398
She came up several times
in conversation.
877
00:40:45,643 --> 00:40:47,611
- Very casually.
- You see, Jessica,
878
00:40:48,104 --> 00:40:52,109
Andy is still single,
and we were wondering whether
879
00:40:52,317 --> 00:40:55,491
your break-up had anything to
do with it. What do you think?
880
00:40:55,570 --> 00:40:58,915
No, yeah, don't be ridiculous.
I mean, we were just kids.
881
00:40:59,449 --> 00:41:01,827
You broke up with me
when we were, what, like, 17?
882
00:41:01,993 --> 00:41:03,085
- Eighteen.
- Eighteen.
883
00:41:03,661 --> 00:41:04,662
Wait a minute.
884
00:41:05,622 --> 00:41:07,624
You broke up with her?
885
00:41:08,291 --> 00:41:09,964
Well, technically, I guess.
886
00:41:10,168 --> 00:41:11,670
God! Remember how crazy you were?
887
00:41:11,836 --> 00:41:13,930
I was young and kind of...
888
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:16,133
You know, I felt a lot. Big feelings.
889
00:41:16,341 --> 00:41:18,594
Mrs. B, did you know that
Andy proposed to me
890
00:41:18,676 --> 00:41:20,019
right before we went to college?
891
00:41:20,303 --> 00:41:22,852
It was like a serious
get-on-your-knee kind of proposal
892
00:41:22,931 --> 00:41:24,353
right in the middle of the football field.
893
00:41:24,808 --> 00:41:26,856
It was silly. It was a silly thing to do.
894
00:41:27,060 --> 00:41:29,984
I said we were too young,
obviously, and he ended it,
895
00:41:30,063 --> 00:41:31,235
just like that!
896
00:41:33,024 --> 00:41:34,025
Yeah!
897
00:41:34,192 --> 00:41:35,694
Andy, can you imagine if I'd said yes?
898
00:41:37,821 --> 00:41:39,164
No.
899
00:41:55,672 --> 00:41:58,676
You proposed to her. Andy, that's so...
900
00:42:00,593 --> 00:42:01,936
I wish I knew that.
901
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,183
Well, you do now.
902
00:42:11,187 --> 00:42:13,189
I was just trying to help.
903
00:42:14,065 --> 00:42:15,282
You always are.
904
00:42:17,735 --> 00:42:20,409
Maybe it was healthy to see her.
905
00:42:21,364 --> 00:42:23,241
Maybe it'll help you get on with your life.
906
00:42:24,534 --> 00:42:28,038
Or maybe, just once, you could have,
907
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,424
one time, just minded
your own business, Ma.
908
00:42:31,499 --> 00:42:32,625
Maybe that could have happened.
909
00:42:33,877 --> 00:42:36,380
Look, I have Costco today, okay?
910
00:42:36,713 --> 00:42:37,760
I would appreciate it very much
911
00:42:37,881 --> 00:42:40,634
if we could just drive in
silence until we get to Texas.
912
00:42:40,717 --> 00:42:41,718
I would...
913
00:42:43,052 --> 00:42:44,896
I would appreciate that very much.
914
00:43:18,589 --> 00:43:20,466
They're going to come
get me in a second,
915
00:43:20,549 --> 00:43:23,268
so just wait here until I'm
back and don't talk to anyone.
916
00:43:23,761 --> 00:43:26,105
- Can I just say one thing?
- No. You can't.
917
00:43:26,430 --> 00:43:27,977
Andy, I don't think
they're coming to get you.
918
00:43:28,974 --> 00:43:30,396
Why would they not
be coming down to get me?
919
00:43:30,476 --> 00:43:31,853
Because I'm noticing
how it's done here.
920
00:43:32,019 --> 00:43:33,612
It's like a different thing. You know?
921
00:43:33,687 --> 00:43:35,564
They come to your table or something.
922
00:43:35,648 --> 00:43:38,572
The people with the red,
they see things on the table.
923
00:43:38,651 --> 00:43:40,324
You bring your product or something. I...
924
00:43:40,444 --> 00:43:41,616
Shit!
925
00:43:41,820 --> 00:43:44,323
- Go away. Just leave.
- Where am I going to meet you?
926
00:43:44,615 --> 00:43:46,617
- Andrew?
- Hi! Hi there!
927
00:43:46,951 --> 00:43:50,000
A pleasure to finally meet you, Andrew.
Ryan McFee.
928
00:43:50,621 --> 00:43:51,964
- Yeah. Great.
- Costco.
929
00:43:52,164 --> 00:43:54,508
This is Joyce. Joyce...
930
00:43:55,125 --> 00:43:57,127
...-ton, my... Joyce Joyston.
931
00:43:57,461 --> 00:43:59,384
My business partner.
932
00:43:59,463 --> 00:44:00,430
Yes!
933
00:44:00,506 --> 00:44:01,507
I'm his business partner.
934
00:44:01,632 --> 00:44:03,726
- Then you should have a seat.
- Fantastic! Yeah!
935
00:44:03,801 --> 00:44:05,974
- Of course. Have a seat.
-"Business partner, sit!"
936
00:44:06,053 --> 00:44:07,851
Yes. Why wouldn't you?
937
00:44:07,930 --> 00:44:10,979
So, I would just like
to start by saying how
938
00:44:11,308 --> 00:44:13,777
honoured I am that Costco Wholesale
would meet with me.
939
00:44:13,852 --> 00:44:16,321
I know the backing of Costco
940
00:44:16,397 --> 00:44:19,492
could really make a product
into something big.
941
00:44:19,566 --> 00:44:20,818
Well, I'm looking forward
to hearing your pitch.
942
00:44:20,901 --> 00:44:21,902
Thank you.
943
00:44:22,027 --> 00:44:24,371
Now, some history on my product.
944
00:44:24,863 --> 00:44:26,490
- I'm sorry.
- No problem!
945
00:44:26,991 --> 00:44:28,993
- What is that?
- My purse hook.
946
00:44:29,285 --> 00:44:30,286
What does it do?
947
00:44:30,494 --> 00:44:34,840
It just keeps the pocketbook
from touching the dirty floor.
948
00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:39,800
- That is great!
- Yeah, it's really neat.
949
00:44:40,045 --> 00:44:42,047
Where'd you get that, the purse hook?
950
00:44:42,256 --> 00:44:43,758
Amazon, I think.
951
00:44:53,017 --> 00:44:54,360
Go.
952
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,483
No, I am not going. It's rude.
953
00:44:57,688 --> 00:44:59,031
- Go.
- No, it would look bad.
954
00:44:59,231 --> 00:45:00,232
Get out of here!
955
00:45:00,399 --> 00:45:03,198
It's very rude. Extremely rude.
956
00:45:03,402 --> 00:45:04,745
Will you just go?
957
00:45:05,029 --> 00:45:06,030
Stop that.
958
00:45:06,238 --> 00:45:08,036
Sorry. Please, continue.
959
00:45:09,033 --> 00:45:12,708
I created a micro-emulsion
suspension, Ryan,
960
00:45:13,037 --> 00:45:18,043
that harnesses the natural
cleaning and foaming power of
961
00:45:18,292 --> 00:45:19,794
coconut oil,
962
00:45:21,003 --> 00:45:22,346
palm kernel oil...
963
00:45:23,213 --> 00:45:24,214
Oxygen.
964
00:45:24,423 --> 00:45:25,424
...and
965
00:45:26,383 --> 00:45:27,726
soy!
966
00:45:28,052 --> 00:45:30,020
Or as I like to call it,
967
00:45:30,721 --> 00:45:32,564
- Scieoclean!
- Scieoclean!
968
00:45:33,390 --> 00:45:34,562
Sounds good.
969
00:45:34,975 --> 00:45:36,397
Oh, Oh!
970
00:45:37,394 --> 00:45:40,273
Scieoclean. Yes.
It took me a second. Sorry.
971
00:45:40,564 --> 00:45:44,444
It read at first like Skyoclean.
Or Psycho clean.
972
00:45:44,735 --> 00:45:46,112
That's an unusual response.
973
00:45:46,403 --> 00:45:48,747
Don't get hung up on the name, Ryan.
974
00:45:48,947 --> 00:45:52,952
I mean, because Andrew
was thinking of changing it.
975
00:45:53,243 --> 00:45:55,337
- Oh, that's a good idea.
- Is he?
976
00:45:55,788 --> 00:45:57,790
- Joyce is right. It's unclear.
- I agree.
977
00:45:57,873 --> 00:45:59,216
Yeah. I wasn't really considering it.
978
00:45:59,291 --> 00:46:00,258
I don't know what...
979
00:46:00,334 --> 00:46:02,212
- We talked about changing it.
- No, we didn't.
980
00:46:02,295 --> 00:46:03,547
- In the hotel.
- I don't remember that.
981
00:46:03,630 --> 00:46:05,348
You said that
the other night at the hotel.
982
00:46:05,465 --> 00:46:06,466
- I did?
- Don't you remember, honey?
983
00:46:06,633 --> 00:46:08,055
- Don't call me "honey."
- Mr. Brewster.
984
00:46:08,134 --> 00:46:12,731
Maybe if you simply relabelled
the bottle "Science Clean."
985
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:14,892
That's a good idea.
986
00:46:14,974 --> 00:46:17,068
I don't actually have any
money to relabelled any bottles.
987
00:46:17,143 --> 00:46:18,565
Wait a minute. How much would it cost
988
00:46:18,645 --> 00:46:19,646
to relabelled the bottles?
989
00:46:19,771 --> 00:46:21,318
Bulk? A fraction of a cent.
990
00:46:21,773 --> 00:46:23,400
Half a cent!
And you're going to sell bulk.
991
00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:24,651
What's the big deal?
992
00:46:24,776 --> 00:46:26,323
Well, the aggregate amount...
993
00:46:26,403 --> 00:46:28,076
So, listen, Andrew,
when you relabelled the bottle...
994
00:46:28,196 --> 00:46:29,197
"When" is a little pre-emptive.
995
00:46:29,322 --> 00:46:31,745
I don't know if I would jump
to the "when" conclusion.
996
00:46:31,825 --> 00:46:33,998
- Listen to what he's saying.
- When you do, I would change
997
00:46:34,077 --> 00:46:35,329
-the whole colour scheme.
- I agree.
998
00:46:35,412 --> 00:46:37,540
It should be more, like, magenta.
999
00:46:37,705 --> 00:46:39,048
What's going to pop? You know?
1000
00:46:39,124 --> 00:46:41,923
I would strongly consider
relabeling that bottle.
1001
00:46:42,001 --> 00:46:43,674
I know, but I put
a lot of thought into this...
1002
00:46:43,753 --> 00:46:45,426
Listen to what the man is saying.
1003
00:46:45,505 --> 00:46:46,927
You're going to have
to relabelled the bottle.
1004
00:46:47,173 --> 00:46:49,847
I'm not changing
the goddamn label, Ryan!
1005
00:46:54,264 --> 00:46:55,607
Okay.
1006
00:47:03,940 --> 00:47:06,193
I know. I shouldn't
have said anything.
1007
00:47:06,943 --> 00:47:08,286
Yup.
1008
00:47:10,447 --> 00:47:13,291
There are many other stores
besides Costco.
1009
00:47:14,284 --> 00:47:15,456
Yup.
1010
00:47:15,785 --> 00:47:18,459
Think of all the other sales
you already made.
1011
00:47:36,222 --> 00:47:37,348
Well, the good news is,
1012
00:47:37,432 --> 00:47:40,060
I have got enough hair product
to last me for years.
1013
00:47:49,569 --> 00:47:51,947
If you're going to drink all that alcohol,
1014
00:47:52,071 --> 00:47:54,244
you should really hydrate.
1015
00:48:03,082 --> 00:48:05,585
I don't want to say it again, so...
1016
00:48:06,085 --> 00:48:09,760
So, I'll just leave the water bottle here.
1017
00:48:15,261 --> 00:48:18,435
I only say that because
1018
00:48:18,765 --> 00:48:21,564
I read that for every glass
of alcohol that you drink,
1019
00:48:21,643 --> 00:48:23,611
you need an extra glass of water...
1020
00:48:24,103 --> 00:48:25,776
Ma. Ma!
1021
00:48:27,273 --> 00:48:31,244
Can you not see that I don't
want to talk right now?
1022
00:48:31,319 --> 00:48:32,912
Are you... Are you blind?
1023
00:48:33,279 --> 00:48:34,952
How idiotic can you be?
1024
00:48:35,073 --> 00:48:38,122
Can you not tell
that I don't want any water?
1025
00:48:38,451 --> 00:48:42,046
Enough with the nagging
and the water! Just shut up!
1026
00:48:42,497 --> 00:48:44,340
Just shut up!
1027
00:48:52,632 --> 00:48:54,475
I don't know what to say.
1028
00:48:56,094 --> 00:48:57,095
Finally.
1029
00:48:57,971 --> 00:48:58,972
"Finally", you said?
1030
00:49:04,143 --> 00:49:05,986
You little shit.
1031
00:49:08,147 --> 00:49:12,448
You condescending,
self-absorbed little shit.
1032
00:49:14,195 --> 00:49:16,914
I can't do anything right
by you, can I, Andy?
1033
00:49:18,157 --> 00:49:21,503
Everything I say is wrong,
everything I do is wrong.
1034
00:49:23,330 --> 00:49:25,958
Go ahead. Why don't you
keep insulting me?
1035
00:49:26,834 --> 00:49:28,507
'Cause you haven't made it quite clear
1036
00:49:28,627 --> 00:49:31,847
just how much
you can't stand being with me!
1037
00:49:33,007 --> 00:49:36,102
What do you think, I'm stupid?
You think I'm stupid?
1038
00:49:36,677 --> 00:49:40,648
No. You think I don't know that
you went to school in California
1039
00:49:41,015 --> 00:49:43,359
so that you'd only
have to see me once a year?
1040
00:49:44,351 --> 00:49:45,523
Why, Andy? Why?
1041
00:49:45,894 --> 00:49:47,737
What did I do wrong?
1042
00:49:48,522 --> 00:49:50,650
What did I do?
Did I care for you too much?
1043
00:49:50,733 --> 00:49:53,156
Did I love you too much? What did I do?
1044
00:49:53,569 --> 00:49:55,788
- Okay, Ma.
-It's not okay!
1045
00:49:56,030 --> 00:49:57,623
This is the way you talk to me?
1046
00:49:57,865 --> 00:50:01,460
Like I'm something that
has to be tolerated?
1047
00:50:02,036 --> 00:50:04,209
Well, let me tell you something, kiddo.
1048
00:50:04,538 --> 00:50:07,712
You don't have to like me,
or spend time with me.
1049
00:50:08,083 --> 00:50:09,881
But as long as I'm your mother,
1050
00:50:10,002 --> 00:50:11,675
you will treat me with respect.
1051
00:50:12,212 --> 00:50:13,634
Now drink your fucking water
1052
00:50:13,714 --> 00:50:16,513
before you drop dead from dehydration!
1053
00:50:53,253 --> 00:50:55,255
I was telling you this story
1054
00:50:55,339 --> 00:50:56,932
that was about Macy's and...
1055
00:50:57,007 --> 00:50:59,009
- You heard of Macy's?
- Yes, ma'am.
1056
00:50:59,259 --> 00:51:01,057
I was sitting in the car, you see,
1057
00:51:01,136 --> 00:51:03,685
and I was trying to jam
the key in the ignition,
1058
00:51:03,764 --> 00:51:06,483
but it wouldn't turn on.
And you know why it wouldn't turn on?
1059
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,602
Because I was sitting in the wrong car!
1060
00:51:09,770 --> 00:51:13,274
Isn't that funny?
It was very funny at the time.
1061
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:15,989
- Hey, Ma.
- Oh, my God!
1062
00:51:16,276 --> 00:51:19,280
Look at who's here. The big, bad son!
1063
00:51:19,613 --> 00:51:21,615
- Andy!
- Hey, son.
1064
00:51:21,824 --> 00:51:23,167
What, did you come to get me?
1065
00:51:23,367 --> 00:51:25,461
We should probably head back
to the room, for a minute.
1066
00:51:25,536 --> 00:51:27,038
- I don't think so.
- No?
1067
00:51:27,121 --> 00:51:29,874
I'm having fun here, Andy!
I'm being fun!
1068
00:51:30,124 --> 00:51:32,126
And I'm meeting men! Andy!
1069
00:51:32,334 --> 00:51:33,586
Isn't that what you wanted?
1070
00:51:33,669 --> 00:51:34,795
That's not really what I meant, Mom.
1071
00:51:34,878 --> 00:51:37,301
Everybody, say hello to my little boy
1072
00:51:37,548 --> 00:51:41,143
who lives in California,
far away from his mommy.
1073
00:51:41,385 --> 00:51:42,853
The opposite side of the world.
1074
00:51:43,470 --> 00:51:45,564
- Ma, you're drunk right now.
- Please!
1075
00:51:45,639 --> 00:51:46,856
- You've had too much to drink.
- I am not drunk.
1076
00:51:47,057 --> 00:51:49,230
I'm not drunk! He's far, far away.
1077
00:51:49,476 --> 00:51:51,649
But that's okay! It's okay. Jimmy?
1078
00:51:51,895 --> 00:51:55,570
You know it's okay because
he calls me on my birthday
1079
00:51:55,816 --> 00:51:57,910
and sometimes he comes home
for Thanksgiving.
1080
00:51:58,152 --> 00:52:01,497
I need another one
of these drinky-poos! Okay?
1081
00:52:01,572 --> 00:52:02,744
Coming up.
1082
00:52:02,990 --> 00:52:04,742
Jimmy, I think she's actually
had enough to drink,
1083
00:52:04,825 --> 00:52:05,826
thank you very much.
1084
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,663
No, I haven't!
Don't listen to him, Jimmy!
1085
00:52:08,996 --> 00:52:11,670
I want another drink,
and I need more cheesy fries.
1086
00:52:13,167 --> 00:52:16,341
Seriously, I think
she's had enough to drink.
1087
00:52:16,670 --> 00:52:17,922
Sorry, boss.
1088
00:52:18,005 --> 00:52:19,757
The lady wants a drink,
she's getting a drink.
1089
00:52:20,007 --> 00:52:23,853
The thing is, the lady doesn't
actually need a drink.
1090
00:52:24,178 --> 00:52:25,521
I paid for it, she's drinking it.
1091
00:52:25,763 --> 00:52:28,016
Look, you are crazy if you think
1092
00:52:28,098 --> 00:52:30,021
I'm going to let you
give that drink to my mom.
1093
00:52:30,267 --> 00:52:31,985
You should just get out of my way now.
1094
00:52:32,060 --> 00:52:33,061
Wait...
1095
00:52:33,854 --> 00:52:36,198
Actually, I'm really tired.
1096
00:52:36,523 --> 00:52:39,026
I think we should be going.
We got to be going.
1097
00:52:39,109 --> 00:52:41,033
No, no, no, no, no.
1098
00:52:41,196 --> 00:52:42,413
- Thank you so much.
- Joyce...
1099
00:52:42,864 --> 00:52:44,241
- No...
- Hey! Hey!
1100
00:52:45,700 --> 00:52:47,043
Oh, my God!
1101
00:52:47,702 --> 00:52:49,045
No, no, Jimmy...
1102
00:53:04,052 --> 00:53:05,554
Quite a night.
1103
00:53:11,893 --> 00:53:13,236
Do you remember what I used to say
1104
00:53:13,311 --> 00:53:15,985
when people asked me what
I wanted to be when I grew up?
1105
00:53:19,234 --> 00:53:22,078
I didn't say baseball player.
1106
00:53:22,403 --> 00:53:24,451
A lot of my friends
wanted to be Power Rangers.
1107
00:53:24,572 --> 00:53:26,745
That was a very popular profession.
1108
00:53:27,325 --> 00:53:28,702
I was the weirdest kid in the world,
1109
00:53:28,785 --> 00:53:31,664
because I said organic chemist
every time!
1110
00:53:31,913 --> 00:53:34,917
I mean, that's the only thing
I ever wanted to be.
1111
00:53:35,250 --> 00:53:36,593
Do you remember that?
1112
00:53:36,918 --> 00:53:38,340
Yes, I do.
1113
00:53:39,420 --> 00:53:42,264
Always doing these strange
1114
00:53:42,590 --> 00:53:45,093
experiments in the basement,
1115
00:53:45,426 --> 00:53:48,600
wearing these goggles.
I remember them.
1116
00:53:48,847 --> 00:53:50,849
Four times too big for your head.
1117
00:53:51,099 --> 00:53:53,773
Dude, those things
saved my eyes many times.
1118
00:53:58,439 --> 00:54:03,115
I went to UCLA because they have
the best organic chemistry program
1119
00:54:03,444 --> 00:54:04,946
in the country.
1120
00:54:05,780 --> 00:54:07,123
That's the only reason.
1121
00:54:25,508 --> 00:54:26,851
You hungry?
1122
00:54:28,177 --> 00:54:29,895
- Always.
- Okay.
1123
00:54:32,515 --> 00:54:34,188
All right. Let's see.
1124
00:54:35,518 --> 00:54:37,191
I'll have an appetizer...
1125
00:54:38,521 --> 00:54:39,522
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1126
00:54:39,606 --> 00:54:40,607
Thanks.
1127
00:54:41,441 --> 00:54:42,784
I like those hats.
1128
00:54:46,529 --> 00:54:48,827
I'm sorry about last night,
Ma, what I said.
1129
00:54:48,907 --> 00:54:51,376
I shouldn't have said that.
1130
00:54:52,035 --> 00:54:53,378
I said some things, too.
1131
00:54:53,494 --> 00:54:54,495
Yeah, you did.
1132
00:54:59,542 --> 00:55:01,385
I haven't made one sale, Ma.
1133
00:55:02,587 --> 00:55:03,588
I...
1134
00:55:04,881 --> 00:55:08,055
I've spent the last five years
developing a product
1135
00:55:08,134 --> 00:55:09,477
that's really good,
1136
00:55:09,552 --> 00:55:12,305
and that I can't sell, at all, to anybody.
1137
00:55:12,555 --> 00:55:15,729
All my money, all my time,
all the money Dad left me,
1138
00:55:15,975 --> 00:55:18,319
I have none of that anymore.
1139
00:55:18,561 --> 00:55:20,404
And, honestly, I have
1140
00:55:20,730 --> 00:55:24,405
no idea what I'm going to do
from now on, so...
1141
00:55:25,068 --> 00:55:26,490
I thought you should know that.
1142
00:55:27,403 --> 00:55:30,077
- Why didn't you say anything?
- I don't know.
1143
00:55:30,406 --> 00:55:33,831
You know, you always say,
"Who could say no to you?"
1144
00:55:33,910 --> 00:55:34,911
I didn't want to...
1145
00:55:35,495 --> 00:55:37,497
I didn't want to have to read you the list.
1146
00:55:41,376 --> 00:55:42,719
I could give you advice.
1147
00:55:42,919 --> 00:55:45,763
- I'm sure you could.
- But I'm not going to.
1148
00:55:46,255 --> 00:55:49,259
'Cause you're a grown-up, Andy,
1149
00:55:49,592 --> 00:55:52,937
and I want you to be your own man.
1150
00:55:53,179 --> 00:55:55,523
- So you can...
- When did you call Anita?
1151
00:55:56,766 --> 00:55:58,940
Before I went to
the bar last night.
1152
00:55:59,019 --> 00:56:00,487
Okay.
1153
00:56:00,688 --> 00:56:02,486
Andy, don't give up, okay?
1154
00:56:02,564 --> 00:56:04,532
I mean, we still have
three more meetings, right?
1155
00:56:04,775 --> 00:56:07,949
We have Santa Fe,
we have Vegas, San Francisco.
1156
00:56:08,278 --> 00:56:10,781
And it's not over yet, okay?
1157
00:56:13,283 --> 00:56:14,409
Yeah.
1158
00:56:15,619 --> 00:56:17,462
About San Francisco, Ma...
1159
00:56:17,705 --> 00:56:19,423
Welcome to Cattlemen's.
Y'all know what you want?
1160
00:56:19,707 --> 00:56:21,801
What is this...
What is this thing here?
1161
00:56:22,042 --> 00:56:23,544
Oh, that's our specialty!
1162
00:56:23,627 --> 00:56:25,721
It's the biggest piece
of Grade A steak around.
1163
00:56:25,963 --> 00:56:27,465
- Yeah?
- Fifty ounces!
1164
00:56:27,965 --> 00:56:30,388
It comes with a dinner salad, roll,
1165
00:56:30,467 --> 00:56:32,561
shrimp cocktail and a baked potato.
1166
00:56:32,803 --> 00:56:34,680
Now, if you can eat that all
in under an hour,
1167
00:56:34,763 --> 00:56:36,891
you get it for free. And you get a T-shirt!
1168
00:56:37,141 --> 00:56:40,315
Really? How much is it
if you don't finish?
1169
00:56:40,561 --> 00:56:41,733
A hundred bucks.
1170
00:56:41,979 --> 00:56:43,071
- A hundred bucks?
- Whoa, Ma,
1171
00:56:43,147 --> 00:56:44,490
are you kidding me right now?
1172
00:56:44,732 --> 00:56:47,281
You're broke, honey.
Don't turn free down.
1173
00:56:47,359 --> 00:56:48,656
And you know how I can eat!
1174
00:56:48,902 --> 00:56:51,496
Yeah, that's four and a half
pounds of meat, Mom.
1175
00:56:51,572 --> 00:56:53,324
That's a lot of meat!
1176
00:56:53,574 --> 00:56:55,997
I mean, that's like eating
a poodle. You know?
1177
00:56:56,076 --> 00:56:57,248
You actually think you can do that?
1178
00:56:57,494 --> 00:57:00,213
I don't just think it, honey. I know it.
1179
00:57:00,289 --> 00:57:02,166
It's just if I want to do it, that's it.
1180
00:57:02,499 --> 00:57:03,921
Well, you want to do it, hon.?
1181
00:57:05,753 --> 00:57:07,755
Yeah. I'm going to do it.
1182
00:57:07,838 --> 00:57:09,761
But I want the salad dressing
on the side.
1183
00:57:10,507 --> 00:57:11,759
It's a Weight Watchers thing.
1184
00:57:11,842 --> 00:57:13,014
Ladies and gentlemen!
1185
00:57:13,093 --> 00:57:15,642
If you would direct
your attention to the stage,
1186
00:57:15,721 --> 00:57:17,644
you will find Miss Joyce Brewster.
1187
00:57:17,723 --> 00:57:19,270
Hi.
1188
00:57:20,350 --> 00:57:21,476
Now, Joyce is from New Jersey.
1189
00:57:22,686 --> 00:57:24,279
- Hey, now...
- Oh, that's not nice.
1190
00:57:24,354 --> 00:57:26,698
That's not nice!
Joyce is from New Jersey,
1191
00:57:26,774 --> 00:57:29,118
but she's going to eat
like a Texan tonight!
1192
00:57:32,529 --> 00:57:34,873
Now, in the next hour,
Joyce will have to consume
1193
00:57:34,948 --> 00:57:36,871
a tossed salad,
with dressing on the side...
1194
00:57:37,117 --> 00:57:38,118
Healthy.
1195
00:57:38,368 --> 00:57:40,541
One of our dinner rolls.
1196
00:57:40,996 --> 00:57:41,963
Yum!
1197
00:57:42,039 --> 00:57:43,712
A shrimp cocktail!
1198
00:57:44,374 --> 00:57:46,718
- Love them.
- A baked potato!
1199
00:57:48,378 --> 00:57:51,052
As well as this here.
1200
00:57:53,550 --> 00:57:55,552
Wow! That is big!
1201
00:57:55,969 --> 00:57:57,312
Holy shit!
1202
00:57:57,387 --> 00:57:59,890
And it all has to get down and stay down
in under an hour.
1203
00:58:00,057 --> 00:58:02,560
Everybody, let's give Joyce
a great big hand!
1204
00:58:07,731 --> 00:58:09,404
- And let's go!
- Okay.
1205
00:58:09,733 --> 00:58:12,577
- I have to put my napkin down.
- Come on, Joyce!
1206
00:58:15,739 --> 00:58:17,116
Don't get all dainty, Joyce.
1207
00:58:17,199 --> 00:58:18,746
- Just dig in. Like a buzz saw.
- Okay.
1208
00:58:19,076 --> 00:58:21,044
All right, thank you. Okay.
1209
00:58:21,578 --> 00:58:22,750
Whoa, this is thick.
1210
00:58:22,996 --> 00:58:24,498
- Just eat it.
- My first bite!
1211
00:58:32,339 --> 00:58:34,341
This could be a lot of bites.
1212
00:58:52,442 --> 00:58:53,864
I'm so hot.
1213
00:58:57,781 --> 00:59:01,456
Okay, everybody! Joyce has got
25 minutes to go now!
1214
00:59:01,785 --> 00:59:03,378
Watch the clock!
1215
00:59:11,461 --> 00:59:13,304
Excuse me. Sorry.
1216
00:59:13,630 --> 00:59:15,177
- I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
1217
00:59:16,466 --> 00:59:18,469
I've seen all sorts of people
get after that steak,
1218
00:59:18,553 --> 00:59:19,805
but never one like that.
1219
00:59:22,307 --> 00:59:23,980
That's my mom.
1220
00:59:25,977 --> 00:59:26,978
That's your mom?
1221
00:59:27,228 --> 00:59:29,071
I would not lie about that, no.
1222
00:59:29,731 --> 00:59:31,574
I'm Benjamin Graw.
My friends call me Ben.
1223
00:59:32,317 --> 00:59:33,534
Hi, Ben Graw.
1224
00:59:33,610 --> 00:59:37,160
I'm Andrew Brewster.
My mother calls me Andy.
1225
00:59:37,405 --> 00:59:39,328
What brings you to Lubbock, Andy?
1226
00:59:39,824 --> 00:59:42,418
I'm travelling for work.
1227
00:59:42,493 --> 00:59:43,745
I'm just passing through, kind of.
1228
00:59:43,828 --> 00:59:46,172
Yeah, me, too. I'm headed to Tulsa.
1229
00:59:46,497 --> 00:59:48,340
I always try and make
a stop here on my way,
1230
00:59:48,666 --> 00:59:49,918
you know, at the Steak Ranch here,
1231
00:59:50,001 --> 00:59:52,220
watching people get
physically ill onstage.
1232
00:59:52,295 --> 00:59:53,888
It just don't get
much more American than that.
1233
00:59:53,963 --> 00:59:54,964
It doesn't, no.
1234
00:59:55,423 --> 00:59:58,017
No, no. She should
save the shrimp for last.
1235
00:59:58,509 --> 01:00:00,136
I'm kind of an expert by now.
1236
01:00:00,220 --> 01:00:02,188
I could help your mom,
give her some tips.
1237
01:00:03,848 --> 01:00:05,691
Yeah! Sure. Why not?
1238
01:00:05,767 --> 01:00:07,360
- Go for it. Yeah.
- Okay.
1239
01:00:13,191 --> 01:00:15,489
Howdy, ma'am. Your son, Andrew,
1240
01:00:15,568 --> 01:00:17,536
said I should come over
and give you a hand.
1241
01:00:17,862 --> 01:00:20,331
See, the key is the size
of the pieces you cut off,
1242
01:00:20,406 --> 01:00:21,874
you got to keep them small.
1243
01:00:22,992 --> 01:00:23,993
One other thing.
1244
01:00:25,536 --> 01:00:27,459
What? What is it?
1245
01:00:27,538 --> 01:00:29,381
It's called the cycle.
1246
01:00:29,457 --> 01:00:31,551
You got to learn the cycle,
which is two small pieces,
1247
01:00:31,876 --> 01:00:34,755
potato, salad, then you have
two small pieces of steak,
1248
01:00:34,837 --> 01:00:36,214
-potato, salad.
- About that size?
1249
01:00:36,297 --> 01:00:37,890
Yeah. That's perfect, actually.
1250
01:00:37,966 --> 01:00:39,639
You'll get that down a lot faster.
1251
01:00:39,884 --> 01:00:41,886
- Okay. So two of those...
- Two of those.
1252
01:00:42,136 --> 01:00:43,137
There you go.
1253
01:00:43,221 --> 01:00:44,814
I wish I could offer you some but I can't.
1254
01:00:44,889 --> 01:00:46,141
No, you got to eat this all yourself.
1255
01:00:46,224 --> 01:00:47,396
- And then that.
- Yeah.
1256
01:00:48,393 --> 01:00:50,487
- That's perfect.
- Is that good?
1257
01:00:50,561 --> 01:00:53,690
Yeah, it's good. You actually
did all four at the same time.
1258
01:00:53,773 --> 01:00:55,571
That's pretty good.
Now let's keep going.
1259
01:00:56,734 --> 01:00:58,736
Mom's talking to a cowboy.
1260
01:00:59,070 --> 01:01:01,072
Come on!
It's four minutes to go for Joyce!
1261
01:01:01,197 --> 01:01:03,165
Give her a hand. Get up and
give her some encouragement!
1262
01:01:03,241 --> 01:01:06,916
- Faster, Andy, cut faster!
- I'm going as fast as I can.
1263
01:01:07,578 --> 01:01:08,921
My arm's falling off.
1264
01:01:09,163 --> 01:01:10,506
Is it hot in here, or...
1265
01:01:10,748 --> 01:01:12,671
It's actually really, really hot in here.
1266
01:01:12,750 --> 01:01:14,047
It's not just you this time.
1267
01:01:14,168 --> 01:01:16,466
You think I could ask them
for a little ketchup?
1268
01:01:16,546 --> 01:01:18,139
I think you could ask
for whatever you want, Mom.
1269
01:01:18,256 --> 01:01:19,348
I'll get you some ketchup.
1270
01:01:19,424 --> 01:01:20,425
But I'd like a little seltzer, too.
1271
01:01:20,508 --> 01:01:22,260
No, no. No seltzer, you need flat water.
1272
01:01:22,343 --> 01:01:23,595
Seltzer will make you too full.
1273
01:01:23,678 --> 01:01:25,146
- Where's the ketchup?
- Are you okay?
1274
01:01:25,430 --> 01:01:27,103
- No, I'm not okay.
- Are you sure?
1275
01:01:27,348 --> 01:01:28,349
I'm not okay!
1276
01:01:28,516 --> 01:01:30,109
You know what?
You know what? Look...
1277
01:01:30,184 --> 01:01:31,436
- I'm throwing in the towel.
- I wanted to do this.
1278
01:01:31,519 --> 01:01:32,862
No, I'm throwing it in.
1279
01:01:33,104 --> 01:01:34,697
Andy, I don't want you
to have to pay 100 bucks
1280
01:01:34,772 --> 01:01:35,773
-for a lousy piece of meat!
-It's fine!
1281
01:01:35,857 --> 01:01:37,404
Honestly, I'd rather pay 1,000 bucks
1282
01:01:37,483 --> 01:01:38,530
then watch you vomit
in front of these people!
1283
01:01:38,776 --> 01:01:40,198
Hold on. Hold on. Ride it out.
1284
01:01:40,445 --> 01:01:41,662
All right? I want you to
take a sip of water,
1285
01:01:41,738 --> 01:01:42,739
I want you to think happy thoughts.
1286
01:01:42,822 --> 01:01:43,823
What makes you happy?
1287
01:01:44,115 --> 01:01:45,287
Eating.
1288
01:01:45,783 --> 01:01:47,456
That actually helps a little bit.
1289
01:01:47,702 --> 01:01:49,704
But I don't know what to do now!
I don't know what to do.
1290
01:01:49,954 --> 01:01:52,707
You're going to finish!
Come on, let's go! Finish!
1291
01:01:52,790 --> 01:01:53,916
Finish!
1292
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:55,718
- Come on!
- Okay.
1293
01:01:55,793 --> 01:01:57,966
Yes! Steak! Come on!
1294
01:01:58,296 --> 01:02:00,515
Okay, everybody, come here!
1295
01:02:00,590 --> 01:02:02,968
I think she's going to do it!
Come on! Let's go!
1296
01:02:03,801 --> 01:02:05,895
And over there. Come on!
1297
01:02:10,475 --> 01:02:12,318
Yes! The steak's gone!
1298
01:02:15,229 --> 01:02:17,072
You got to shoot it! Shoot it like a shot.
1299
01:02:17,315 --> 01:02:18,783
Shoot it? What's a "shoot it"?
1300
01:02:18,858 --> 01:02:19,859
- Like a shot!
- Like this, you go like...
1301
01:02:19,984 --> 01:02:22,988
Oh, you mean like in the movies!
1302
01:02:24,655 --> 01:02:26,328
Ladies and gentlemen,
1303
01:02:26,991 --> 01:02:29,494
this is to my son.
1304
01:02:29,827 --> 01:02:31,170
And don't forget the free T-shirt.
1305
01:02:31,245 --> 01:02:32,838
- I won't.
- Shoot it!
1306
01:02:35,917 --> 01:02:37,670
Yes!
1307
01:02:44,426 --> 01:02:45,427
Yeah!
1308
01:02:45,677 --> 01:02:46,769
Thank you, honey.
1309
01:02:50,015 --> 01:02:51,562
So, you going to do
any more sightseeing
1310
01:02:51,642 --> 01:02:53,019
on the rest of your trip?
1311
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:55,612
We wish we could.
1312
01:02:55,687 --> 01:02:57,689
We're actually
on a pretty tight schedule.
1313
01:02:57,940 --> 01:03:00,614
We're going to Santa Fe, Las Vegas,
and then San Francisco.
1314
01:03:00,859 --> 01:03:03,533
Well, I do hope you get to
stop at the Grand Canyon.
1315
01:03:03,862 --> 01:03:05,705
Oh, no, we can't this time
1316
01:03:05,781 --> 01:03:08,204
because we're really
on a very tight schedule.
1317
01:03:08,534 --> 01:03:11,037
- Well, maybe next trip, then.
- Yeah.
1318
01:03:12,371 --> 01:03:14,373
Andrew. It was a pleasure.
1319
01:03:14,623 --> 01:03:16,796
Oh, yeah. You, too. Thank you so much.
1320
01:03:17,042 --> 01:03:18,715
And thank you.
Thank you very, very much.
1321
01:03:19,044 --> 01:03:21,217
Thank you. And could I have
a second with your mom?
1322
01:03:21,713 --> 01:03:25,058
Yeah! For sure. Yeah. Thanks.
1323
01:03:25,384 --> 01:03:27,887
I hope this isn't being too forward,
1324
01:03:28,137 --> 01:03:31,016
but when I see a woman eat like that,
1325
01:03:31,098 --> 01:03:33,066
well, it just makes a man
want to stick his neck out.
1326
01:03:34,726 --> 01:03:36,319
I do business in New York.
1327
01:03:36,728 --> 01:03:37,854
I was hoping maybe I could
1328
01:03:37,938 --> 01:03:39,235
take you out to dinner one night.
1329
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:42,572
I do know some restaurants
1330
01:03:42,651 --> 01:03:44,244
where you don't have to eat on a stage.
1331
01:03:46,405 --> 01:03:48,078
That's funny.
1332
01:03:50,242 --> 01:03:53,917
The thing about dating...
It is a date, right?
1333
01:03:55,914 --> 01:03:59,088
It's just so uncomfortable,
1334
01:03:59,418 --> 01:04:02,342
talking and eating
with someone you don't know.
1335
01:04:02,588 --> 01:04:04,261
Some would argue that
that's actually how
1336
01:04:04,339 --> 01:04:05,431
you get to know someone.
1337
01:04:06,425 --> 01:04:09,099
Yeah, that's... You could argue that.
1338
01:04:11,263 --> 01:04:14,107
I don't know what to say.
It's just been a long time.
1339
01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:16,606
Well, I tell you what.
1340
01:04:17,603 --> 01:04:18,946
When you're ready,
1341
01:04:20,105 --> 01:04:21,448
give me a call.
1342
01:04:22,608 --> 01:04:24,576
I will think about it, Ben.
1343
01:04:25,777 --> 01:04:27,120
Joyce.
1344
01:04:30,449 --> 01:04:33,123
- Drive carefully!
- I will. You take care now.
1345
01:04:33,452 --> 01:04:34,874
Bye, Mr. Graw! Nice to meet you.
1346
01:04:34,953 --> 01:04:35,954
- It's Ben. Ben.
- See you, Andrew.
1347
01:04:36,038 --> 01:04:37,881
Bye, Ben!
1348
01:04:37,956 --> 01:04:41,130
- How scandalous! Mother!
- Don't you say...
1349
01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:42,461
What a scandal!
1350
01:04:42,794 --> 01:04:44,637
Stop it. Come on. Don't do that.
1351
01:04:44,963 --> 01:04:46,806
"I'll think about it, Ben."
1352
01:04:47,049 --> 01:04:48,096
- That's exactly...
- That's so...
1353
01:04:48,175 --> 01:04:49,347
You're blushing right now,
you know that?
1354
01:04:49,426 --> 01:04:51,224
- That is so nasty!
- That's exactly what you said.
1355
01:04:51,470 --> 01:04:53,643
You know, he's very nice. God!
1356
01:04:53,972 --> 01:04:57,317
I haven't had that much fun
in such a long time. You know?
1357
01:04:57,643 --> 01:04:58,735
Maybe you're right, Andy.
1358
01:04:58,810 --> 01:05:01,154
Maybe I need a little more
adventure in my life.
1359
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:03,824
I'm really tired of going to the Gap.
1360
01:05:04,149 --> 01:05:06,368
- Are you actually?
- No. Actually, I'm not.
1361
01:05:07,736 --> 01:05:09,738
It's just that I'm a grown woman
1362
01:05:09,988 --> 01:05:14,334
and the most exciting place
I've ever been in Florida.
1363
01:05:15,494 --> 01:05:18,589
"Well, I happen to know a few places
1364
01:05:18,664 --> 01:05:20,837
"you don't have to eat on a stage."
1365
01:05:21,166 --> 01:05:22,463
I'm going to take this dessert...
1366
01:05:22,543 --> 01:05:23,669
I'm not going to share it with you now...
1367
01:05:23,752 --> 01:05:25,425
-"I'm Ben Graw."
- You're being obnoxious!
1368
01:05:25,671 --> 01:05:27,514
-"My name's Ben Graw."
- Come on. Drive.
1369
01:05:27,756 --> 01:05:31,431
"This here's... Your train's
getting robbed! I'm Ben Graw.�
1370
01:05:31,677 --> 01:05:33,600
Did you notice how handsome he was?
1371
01:05:33,679 --> 01:05:35,431
"I'm very handsome. I'm Ben Graw."
1372
01:05:35,514 --> 01:05:37,767
- Did you notice his teeth?
-"My teeth are perfect."
1373
01:05:37,849 --> 01:05:39,851
- Stop it!
-"I have a very close shave."
1374
01:05:39,935 --> 01:05:41,778
I am going to kill you.
1375
01:05:41,853 --> 01:05:43,025
What? That's exactly what he was like!
1376
01:05:43,105 --> 01:05:45,107
Stop it! Stop it! Are you hungry yet?
1377
01:05:45,357 --> 01:05:46,950
Am I hungry yet? Are you kidding me?
1378
01:05:47,192 --> 01:05:48,865
Well, you just had a little hamburger.
1379
01:05:49,194 --> 01:05:51,538
Oh, wait! Look, look, look!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1380
01:05:51,613 --> 01:05:53,741
- Number 10.
- I know. It's very exciting.
1381
01:05:53,824 --> 01:05:55,201
Cool!
1382
01:05:55,702 --> 01:05:58,376
- Number 1 O already!
-Isn't that going to be great?
1383
01:05:58,454 --> 01:05:59,455
Yeah.
1384
01:05:59,956 --> 01:06:01,549
How many more CDs do we have?
1385
01:06:01,874 --> 01:06:03,046
I think 12.
1386
01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:05,387
Twelve? We're not even
halfway through?
1387
01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:08,472
These are good.
They don't have too many chemicals.
1388
01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:10,888
What is that? Why do you
want to feed me all the time?
1389
01:06:11,134 --> 01:06:14,308
You know what it is, honey?
Food is love.
1390
01:06:14,554 --> 01:06:17,398
Come on, get in there. That's it.
1391
01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:28,739
- I got us some treats.
- Ma, you're in the wrong car!
1392
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:30,828
Who are you?
1393
01:06:31,029 --> 01:06:32,372
You're in the... I'm over here!
1394
01:06:32,572 --> 01:06:35,075
Oh, my God! What happened?
1395
01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:36,284
Yeah!
1396
01:06:38,578 --> 01:06:40,000
I got goodies!
1397
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:51,098
What a nice chapter.
1398
01:06:51,424 --> 01:06:52,516
He's a beautiful writer.
1399
01:06:52,675 --> 01:06:53,676
Whoa!
1400
01:06:54,510 --> 01:06:57,855
It's okay, honey.
I picked up a hitchhiker!
1401
01:06:58,765 --> 01:06:59,766
- How you doing?
- Good.
1402
01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:01,021
-Isn't that great?
- Yeah.
1403
01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:04,362
So, explain to me
how a hot flash works.
1404
01:07:04,604 --> 01:07:07,278
It just feels like you're
on fire all of a sudden!
1405
01:07:07,607 --> 01:07:10,451
You just want to dunk into a shower.
1406
01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:13,697
All over the city, they should have,
like, big dunk tanks
1407
01:07:13,946 --> 01:07:16,950
so menopausal women
can just hop in them any time.
1408
01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:18,285
It's a pretty good idea.
1409
01:07:18,701 --> 01:07:19,873
I like your thinking, honey.
1410
01:07:26,459 --> 01:07:27,802
Wow!
1411
01:07:28,461 --> 01:07:30,134
Look at this!
1412
01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:33,216
Oh, honey, thank you!
I can't believe you did this.
1413
01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:34,892
I always wanted to see
the Grand Canyon.
1414
01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:37,478
I know. Really spectacular.
1415
01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:40,978
Really beautiful.
1416
01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:42,183
Yeah.
1417
01:07:45,645 --> 01:07:48,819
So, how long
are we supposed to look at it?
1418
01:07:49,982 --> 01:07:51,325
Ten minutes?
1419
01:07:51,984 --> 01:07:53,986
- Ten minutes!
- Yeah. Right?
1420
01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:56,160
Seems disrespectful to look at it
1421
01:07:56,239 --> 01:07:57,912
for any less than 10 minutes, I guess.
1422
01:07:58,157 --> 01:07:59,500
But who'll know?
1423
01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:01,169
That's a good point.
1424
01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:03,413
- You want to go?
- Yeah, let's go.
1425
01:08:03,663 --> 01:08:04,915
Let's go to Vegas.
1426
01:08:04,997 --> 01:08:07,841
We should tell our friends
we looked at it for longer.
1427
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:17,515
All right! You show 'em!
1428
01:08:17,593 --> 01:08:19,186
Oh, I wouldn't have believed this!
1429
01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:20,263
It's crazy, Ma.
1430
01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:22,640
Look at all these...
1431
01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:24,351
I can't get over
the amount of light bulbs.
1432
01:08:24,684 --> 01:08:26,857
Can you imagine what it costs
to run this place?
1433
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:28,654
No one flips them off
when they leave the room.
1434
01:08:28,730 --> 01:08:30,448
It must drive you crazy.
1435
01:08:34,694 --> 01:08:37,698
I can't wait to see the slot machines.
1436
01:08:38,197 --> 01:08:40,291
Look, M&M's! Andy!
1437
01:08:40,366 --> 01:08:43,040
There you go! Imagine how loud
you could chew those!
1438
01:08:43,286 --> 01:08:45,004
I just have a good
feeling about tomorrow.
1439
01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:46,706
I think things are going to go really well.
1440
01:08:46,789 --> 01:08:47,790
Well, it'd better.
1441
01:08:49,542 --> 01:08:51,385
That's our hotel right there.
1442
01:08:51,878 --> 01:08:53,721
- That's where we're going?
- Look at the fountain!
1443
01:08:54,046 --> 01:08:55,389
Very elegant.
1444
01:08:55,631 --> 01:08:59,135
I just feel a little weird valet parking
Mr. Bean's car.
1445
01:09:00,052 --> 01:09:01,725
- Nice, huh?
- Whoa!
1446
01:09:01,888 --> 01:09:03,310
- Exciting!
- I know! Isn't it?
1447
01:09:03,389 --> 01:09:05,062
- Oh, my God, we're here!
- We're here!
1448
01:09:06,225 --> 01:09:07,727
- Look how beautiful!
- Thank you very much.
1449
01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:09,608
Appreciate that. Perfect.
1450
01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:11,398
Oh, my God! Look at their statues!
1451
01:09:11,481 --> 01:09:12,482
Is that the statue of David?
1452
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:14,534
Yes, that's the actual David.
They flew it here.
1453
01:09:14,735 --> 01:09:15,861
No, they didn't!
1454
01:09:16,695 --> 01:09:18,697
- Hi! I'm Andrew Brewster.
- Hello.
1455
01:09:18,822 --> 01:09:21,166
I'm presenting to
Home Shopping Network tomorrow.
1456
01:09:21,283 --> 01:09:23,581
Oh, great. Welcome, Mr. Brewster.
1457
01:09:23,660 --> 01:09:24,786
I just need your credit carol, please.
1458
01:09:24,870 --> 01:09:26,543
- Right there.
- Thank you.
1459
01:09:28,457 --> 01:09:30,255
I see you're on their corporate rates.
1460
01:09:30,334 --> 01:09:31,335
Oh, great!
1461
01:09:33,128 --> 01:09:34,471
Here is your credit card.
1462
01:09:34,546 --> 01:09:35,547
- Thank you.
- Perfect.
1463
01:09:37,382 --> 01:09:39,055
How are you doing on this thing?
1464
01:09:39,301 --> 01:09:40,974
Oh, Jesus! Okay. Okay.
1465
01:09:41,220 --> 01:09:44,064
Hey, Ma! I was going to go take
a shower, then we should eat,
1466
01:09:44,139 --> 01:09:45,391
then I want to go to the Bellagio.
1467
01:09:45,474 --> 01:09:46,851
- We can see the fountain...
- No, honey, look at this.
1468
01:09:46,934 --> 01:09:48,902
Frogs. It has frogs!
1469
01:09:49,478 --> 01:09:51,526
- Great.
- And it's on the aisle.
1470
01:09:51,605 --> 01:09:53,482
They put it in front. You know why?
1471
01:09:53,816 --> 01:09:55,159
Because this is a winner.
1472
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:56,947
Ma, there's lots of machines
on the aisles.
1473
01:09:57,027 --> 01:09:58,324
Oh, look at this,
I got a seat! The guy left.
1474
01:09:58,403 --> 01:09:59,905
- That's great.
- I'm so excited!
1475
01:10:00,155 --> 01:10:01,498
Ma, come on, let's just go, okay?
1476
01:10:01,740 --> 01:10:04,914
No. No, no, honey.
You go up, drop the bags, shower,
1477
01:10:04,993 --> 01:10:06,040
do whatever you want.
1478
01:10:06,119 --> 01:10:07,746
I'm going to play here, okay?
1479
01:10:07,913 --> 01:10:09,506
Are the drinks free here?
1480
01:10:09,915 --> 01:10:10,916
Yeah, the drinks are free.
1481
01:10:10,999 --> 01:10:12,000
- They're free?
- Yeah.
1482
01:10:12,084 --> 01:10:15,429
So, would you please flag me down
a waitress if you see one?
1483
01:10:15,754 --> 01:10:17,427
- Okay. Yeah, okay.
- Okay. Okay.
1484
01:10:17,631 --> 01:10:18,632
Great.
1485
01:10:19,258 --> 01:10:20,510
What does that mean? Do you know?
1486
01:10:20,592 --> 01:10:21,593
You won about 10 cents.
1487
01:10:21,677 --> 01:10:23,020
Ten cents? That's it?
1488
01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:24,605
I got three navel oranges.
1489
01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:28,187
It's still going up!
Who do I call? Who do I tell?
1490
01:10:28,433 --> 01:10:30,435
Oh, I know. I got
a good feeling about this.
1491
01:10:30,686 --> 01:10:32,359
Where are the drinks?
1492
01:10:32,771 --> 01:10:33,772
Good luck with that.
1493
01:10:33,856 --> 01:10:34,948
- Really?
- Yeah.
1494
01:10:49,371 --> 01:10:50,543
Ma?
1495
01:10:51,540 --> 01:10:52,883
It's me, honey.
1496
01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:54,718
You're finally back?
1497
01:10:55,544 --> 01:10:57,217
What time is it?
1498
01:10:58,797 --> 01:11:00,470
- Hi, sleepyhead.
- Hi.
1499
01:11:03,385 --> 01:11:05,058
Oh, I'm so excited.
1500
01:11:05,387 --> 01:11:06,639
Are you up? Are you up? Are you up?
1501
01:11:06,722 --> 01:11:08,144
Yeah.
1502
01:11:08,557 --> 01:11:09,900
So...
1503
01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:11,480
Do you notice anything different?
1504
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:15,656
Yeah, you gamble all night
and get drunk at 7:00 a.m.
1505
01:11:15,939 --> 01:11:19,660
No! No, I got my ears pierced! Look.
1506
01:11:20,068 --> 01:11:21,741
- Isn't that great?
- Oh, wow.
1507
01:11:21,987 --> 01:11:23,455
- Yeah, look at that!
- All right.
1508
01:11:23,530 --> 01:11:26,830
I was up $60 and I decided
to call it quits.
1509
01:11:27,075 --> 01:11:28,793
And so then I passed a jewellery store
1510
01:11:28,869 --> 01:11:30,746
and I got my ears pierced!
1511
01:11:30,829 --> 01:11:31,830
Okay!
1512
01:11:32,247 --> 01:11:33,999
And it didn't even hurt.
1513
01:11:34,082 --> 01:11:37,006
Well, if you're happy about that,
then good for you.
1514
01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:38,086
I'm happy about that.
1515
01:11:38,253 --> 01:11:40,255
- I am so happy, Andy!
- Good.
1516
01:11:40,631 --> 01:11:43,305
I could just stay here forever.
1517
01:11:44,426 --> 01:11:47,270
Well, eventually you might
run out of things to pierce
1518
01:11:47,346 --> 01:11:49,223
and your frog machine
might short-circuit.
1519
01:11:49,306 --> 01:11:50,558
I don't know what you'd do after that.
1520
01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:52,726
I know. I just got carried away.
1521
01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:53,810
Yeah.
1522
01:11:54,436 --> 01:11:57,110
- So, I was thinking...
- Yeah.
1523
01:11:57,439 --> 01:11:59,783
...that maybe you should go
to San Francisco alone,
1524
01:12:00,108 --> 01:12:02,736
and then I could spend
the rest of the weekend here.
1525
01:12:03,195 --> 01:12:06,950
I don't think that's the best idea.
1526
01:12:07,032 --> 01:12:08,033
Why not?
1527
01:12:08,116 --> 01:12:09,538
You know, we've been having fun.
1528
01:12:09,618 --> 01:12:10,870
We should keep it going.
1529
01:12:10,953 --> 01:12:12,796
I've only been punched
in one side of my face.
1530
01:12:12,871 --> 01:12:14,669
I'm letting you off the hook, you know.
1531
01:12:14,748 --> 01:12:16,921
You drove all the way to
Las Vegas with your mother.
1532
01:12:17,459 --> 01:12:20,804
I have enough bragging material
to last the rest of my life, honey.
1533
01:12:21,046 --> 01:12:22,218
Ma.
1534
01:12:23,131 --> 01:12:26,135
I don't actually have
a meeting in San Francisco.
1535
01:12:26,969 --> 01:12:29,643
I tracked down Andy.
1536
01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:31,727
Margolis.
1537
01:12:32,975 --> 01:12:35,479
He's the meeting in San Francisco.
1538
01:12:36,479 --> 01:12:39,904
He had the same job.
He works for the same company!
1539
01:12:39,983 --> 01:12:42,156
He got transferred to the West Coast.
1540
01:12:42,485 --> 01:12:44,829
And I got his information.
1541
01:12:44,904 --> 01:12:48,659
I got his number
and his email and his address.
1542
01:12:49,492 --> 01:12:52,336
And he's not married.
1543
01:12:52,453 --> 01:12:55,457
So I figured why not?
1544
01:13:00,503 --> 01:13:01,675
When?
1545
01:13:02,005 --> 01:13:03,348
When what?
1546
01:13:04,590 --> 01:13:06,137
When did you track him down?
1547
01:13:08,219 --> 01:13:10,096
Right after you told me he existed.
1548
01:13:10,304 --> 01:13:12,523
I tracked him down. it was really easy.
1549
01:13:16,853 --> 01:13:18,696
So that's why you
1550
01:13:19,522 --> 01:13:21,524
wanted me to come with you.
1551
01:13:22,025 --> 01:13:24,119
So I could see Andy Margolis.
1552
01:13:24,193 --> 01:13:25,240
Ma, of course not!
1553
01:13:25,319 --> 01:13:28,368
I think that I wanted
to meet him, too, you know.
1554
01:13:28,865 --> 01:13:30,208
Oh, God.
1555
01:13:30,867 --> 01:13:33,040
I was so stupid!
1556
01:13:33,369 --> 01:13:35,542
Why is that... Why are you stupid?
1557
01:13:35,872 --> 01:13:37,215
Oh, my God.
1558
01:13:40,043 --> 01:13:44,469
I actually thought that you
wanted to spend time with me.
1559
01:13:44,964 --> 01:13:47,183
I do want to spend time with you, Ma.
1560
01:13:47,258 --> 01:13:48,976
That's why I invited you.
1561
01:13:51,054 --> 01:13:52,226
It's okay.
1562
01:13:53,765 --> 01:13:54,937
I'm not mad.
1563
01:13:56,726 --> 01:14:00,401
I mean, most kids
wouldn't even care enough.
1564
01:14:05,068 --> 01:14:06,820
I just...
1565
01:14:08,237 --> 01:14:12,583
I thought it was
something else, that's all.
1566
01:14:13,576 --> 01:14:15,419
Ma, let's just talk about it
for one minute, okay?
1567
01:14:15,495 --> 01:14:16,496
You don't have to go.
1568
01:14:16,579 --> 01:14:18,923
No, no. It's okay.
1569
01:14:19,248 --> 01:14:23,094
You better get ready
for your meeting, honey.
1570
01:14:23,419 --> 01:14:26,093
Come on, Ma! That's not what this is...
1571
01:14:42,021 --> 01:14:45,275
Andrew Brewster for Skyoclan?
1572
01:14:47,276 --> 01:14:48,619
Scieoclean.
1573
01:14:52,949 --> 01:14:54,701
Okay, Mr. Brewster,
you get five minutes
1574
01:14:54,784 --> 01:14:56,286
to explain the product and demonstrate.
1575
01:14:56,536 --> 01:14:58,129
Our hostess, Amy, will introduce you
1576
01:14:58,204 --> 01:14:59,877
and you can interact with her
however you want.
1577
01:14:59,956 --> 01:15:00,957
Any questions?
1578
01:15:01,040 --> 01:15:04,385
Yeah, I didn't realize
this was a whole thing.
1579
01:15:04,627 --> 01:15:06,300
I didn't realize it was on camera.
1580
01:15:06,629 --> 01:15:08,802
You're going to be great. Go for it.
1581
01:15:09,966 --> 01:15:11,309
Hello. Hi.
1582
01:15:11,634 --> 01:15:12,760
- Andrew, hello!
- Hi, yes, I'm Andrew.
1583
01:15:12,844 --> 01:15:13,891
Nice to meet you.
1584
01:15:13,970 --> 01:15:16,689
- I'm Amy. Nice to see you.
- Hi, Amy. Hi. So...
1585
01:15:16,764 --> 01:15:19,893
Oh, gee. No, thank you.
I'm okay. Thank you.
1586
01:15:20,143 --> 01:15:21,520
So we're going to look
right out to the front here.
1587
01:15:21,602 --> 01:15:22,603
Wow! This is the real set.
1588
01:15:22,895 --> 01:15:24,897
Yes, we're on the set now.
1589
01:15:25,314 --> 01:15:26,486
Roll cameras!
1590
01:15:26,566 --> 01:15:27,567
It's hot in here.
1591
01:15:27,650 --> 01:15:29,243
It is warm. It's very bright. I...
1592
01:15:29,318 --> 01:15:32,162
- Action!
- Welcome back to HSN.
1593
01:15:32,488 --> 01:15:34,661
I'm here with Andrew Brewster,
1594
01:15:34,991 --> 01:15:38,916
creator of an exciting new
organic cleaning supply.
1595
01:15:39,662 --> 01:15:41,664
Tell us a little bit about
Scieoclean, Andrew.
1596
01:15:41,998 --> 01:15:44,171
It's actually Scieo-clean.
1597
01:15:44,417 --> 01:15:45,714
- That's exactly what I said.
- It is.
1598
01:15:47,503 --> 01:15:50,097
Scieoclean, as I call it,
1599
01:15:50,173 --> 01:15:51,846
is an exciting new cleaning product
1600
01:15:52,091 --> 01:15:55,266
that harnesses the natural
foaming and cleaning power
1601
01:15:55,345 --> 01:15:57,097
of three completely
renewable resources.
1602
01:15:57,347 --> 01:15:58,940
- Interesting.
- They are...
1603
01:15:59,016 --> 01:16:02,361
Here they come, out of
your special secret box.
1604
01:16:03,353 --> 01:16:05,526
-...coconut oil...
- A coconut!
1605
01:16:05,856 --> 01:16:07,858
That's a coconut. Let's see.
1606
01:16:07,941 --> 01:16:10,035
That's hard.
That's a hard nut to crack, isn't it?
1607
01:16:25,876 --> 01:16:29,221
As I previously stated,
a neutral pH reading
1608
01:16:29,296 --> 01:16:30,468
is somewhere between six and eight.
1609
01:16:31,048 --> 01:16:34,723
Now, if you recall,
Scieoclean came in at seven,
1610
01:16:34,801 --> 01:16:35,893
which was perfect.
1611
01:16:36,386 --> 01:16:39,560
Now, my competitor's pH reading
is nine point...
1612
01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:40,732
Can you see it?
1613
01:16:41,225 --> 01:16:45,480
Is it in the... I don't know
if you're zooming in on...
1614
01:16:45,562 --> 01:16:49,317
But it says nine point six, which is high,
1615
01:16:50,567 --> 01:16:51,910
and it...
1616
01:17:00,577 --> 01:17:02,420
I lost you guys.
1617
01:17:03,747 --> 01:17:05,124
I totally lost you guys.
1618
01:17:05,499 --> 01:17:07,297
That lady's sending an email.
1619
01:17:07,918 --> 01:17:09,295
I've completely lost you,
1620
01:17:09,378 --> 01:17:11,597
and I think I know why I lost you guys.
1621
01:17:11,922 --> 01:17:15,768
It's 'cause this sucks! And it's boring.
1622
01:17:16,093 --> 01:17:19,768
And it's full of a bunch of science-y stuff
that no one really cares about.
1623
01:17:19,972 --> 01:17:22,816
So, why don't I try this?
1624
01:17:23,183 --> 01:17:25,402
Just tell me about yourself, Amy.
1625
01:17:25,477 --> 01:17:27,605
Do you have kids? You have any
pets or anything like that?
1626
01:17:27,854 --> 01:17:30,858
Yes, I do. I have a dog and a little girl.
1627
01:17:31,108 --> 01:17:32,109
Okay. What are their names?
1628
01:17:32,359 --> 01:17:34,532
Mr. Pickles and Gabriella.
1629
01:17:34,778 --> 01:17:38,533
Oh, that's funny. if I have a daughter,
I'm going to name her Mr. Pickles as well.
1630
01:17:41,368 --> 01:17:42,369
Sorry.
1631
01:17:42,452 --> 01:17:44,045
So let me ask you,
1632
01:17:44,121 --> 01:17:45,498
you probably go through great pains
1633
01:17:45,580 --> 01:17:47,503
to prevent Mr. Pickles
and Gabriella from dying,
1634
01:17:47,582 --> 01:17:49,459
-if I'm not mistaken.
- Well, yes, I would.
1635
01:17:49,543 --> 01:17:51,511
Is this what you normally
clean your house with?
1636
01:17:51,586 --> 01:17:53,554
It's whatever's on sale.
It's usually blue or yellow.
1637
01:17:53,797 --> 01:17:54,889
That would be correct, yes.
1638
01:17:55,132 --> 01:17:56,600
Well, here's the problem with that.
1639
01:17:56,675 --> 01:17:58,803
It's extremely poisonous.
1640
01:17:59,011 --> 01:18:01,935
And it's really dangerous.
I can show you statistics
1641
01:18:02,055 --> 01:18:04,149
and experiments
that prove that my product
1642
01:18:04,224 --> 01:18:06,568
doesn't only clean better
than those, but it's safer.
1643
01:18:07,227 --> 01:18:10,071
But if I've shown you one thing,
it's that that is really boring.
1644
01:18:10,147 --> 01:18:12,320
So instead, I'll just do this.
1645
01:18:14,484 --> 01:18:16,828
I'll step back for the experiment.
1646
01:18:20,824 --> 01:18:22,167
Oh, my God.
1647
01:18:24,661 --> 01:18:27,335
Wow. I'm impressed.
1648
01:18:27,664 --> 01:18:28,665
I am.
1649
01:18:30,584 --> 01:18:34,339
Scieoclean is the best cleaning product
that's ever been invented.
1650
01:18:34,588 --> 01:18:36,636
It's completely natural,
it's completely safe,
1651
01:18:36,715 --> 01:18:39,013
and it cleans better than
any product on the market.
1652
01:18:39,092 --> 01:18:41,936
If any of my competitors
are making the same claim,
1653
01:18:42,012 --> 01:18:43,264
all I say is, come on TV
1654
01:18:43,347 --> 01:18:46,191
and drink your product.
But I don't think you will
1655
01:18:46,433 --> 01:18:49,027
because no one wants to
shit blood on TV.
1656
01:18:51,188 --> 01:18:52,440
That's it. That's all I got.
1657
01:18:55,025 --> 01:18:57,528
Scieoclean. It's safe, it's non-toxic,
1658
01:18:57,861 --> 01:19:00,159
and you can drink it.
1659
01:19:00,781 --> 01:19:02,078
And cut!
1660
01:19:02,324 --> 01:19:03,997
Mr. Brewster?
1661
01:19:04,201 --> 01:19:05,202
Yeah.
1662
01:19:05,285 --> 01:19:06,628
Well, we are intrigued!
1663
01:19:07,704 --> 01:19:08,956
You're...
1664
01:19:09,664 --> 01:19:11,417
- You're intrigued?
- Absolutely!
1665
01:19:11,501 --> 01:19:12,923
That presentation was wonderful.
1666
01:19:13,002 --> 01:19:14,003
You actually drank that stuff?
1667
01:19:14,128 --> 01:19:15,880
I did drink it! Yeah!
It's made out of food.
1668
01:19:15,963 --> 01:19:16,964
It was a great pitch.
1669
01:19:17,256 --> 01:19:19,475
Thank you so much!
If you want to hear more...
1670
01:19:19,550 --> 01:19:20,767
I said it was boring, but the stuff about
1671
01:19:20,843 --> 01:19:22,140
the micro-emulsion
is actually pretty amazing.
1672
01:19:22,345 --> 01:19:24,643
- Does it actually clean?
- Yes, it cleans great.
1673
01:19:24,722 --> 01:19:26,065
Okay, we're going to wanna
see that at some point.
1674
01:19:26,140 --> 01:19:28,142
Oh, yeah, anytime. I can
demonstrate that anytime.
1675
01:19:28,684 --> 01:19:30,436
- And it has full FDA approval?
- I have full FDA...
1676
01:19:30,520 --> 01:19:32,113
How many units
do you have ready for market?
1677
01:19:32,188 --> 01:19:35,442
Thousands of units. I have way
more than I should, probably.
1678
01:19:35,525 --> 01:19:37,527
Well, we're going to have to run
it up the ladder, obviously,
1679
01:19:37,610 --> 01:19:39,783
but I have a really good
feeling about this.
1680
01:19:40,530 --> 01:19:41,702
Thank you so much.
1681
01:19:42,198 --> 01:19:44,792
Oh, thank you! Thanks. Wow.
1682
01:19:44,867 --> 01:19:46,289
Great presentation.
1683
01:19:46,369 --> 01:19:47,666
Well, I'm glad you think so.
You have my info.
1684
01:19:48,204 --> 01:19:50,707
Absolutely. We'll be in touch. Great job.
1685
01:19:50,957 --> 01:19:52,630
Thanks for sticking with me.
1686
01:19:53,709 --> 01:19:55,131
Just don't say anything.
1687
01:19:55,211 --> 01:19:56,383
Just turn around. Just keep walking.
1688
01:19:56,462 --> 01:19:57,930
- I'm not saying anything.
- Just turn around.
1689
01:19:58,297 --> 01:20:01,392
- People love a performance.
- Stay calm. I know, I know.
1690
01:20:01,634 --> 01:20:03,261
This was better than Man of La Mancha!
1691
01:20:03,344 --> 01:20:05,267
- So how bad did it taste?
- It was horrible!
1692
01:20:05,721 --> 01:20:06,893
It was so gross!
1693
01:20:07,140 --> 01:20:08,562
- Well, you acted great.
- Oh, thank you.
1694
01:20:08,641 --> 01:20:09,984
- It needed the mint.
- It does.
1695
01:20:10,226 --> 01:20:11,773
What about the guy?
What did he say to you?
1696
01:20:11,853 --> 01:20:14,072
He said it was a great pitch.
1697
01:20:14,147 --> 01:20:15,990
He said he's going to
move it up the ladder.
1698
01:20:16,065 --> 01:20:17,738
- No!
"Yes!
1699
01:20:17,817 --> 01:20:19,911
- He used the ladder word?
- He used the word "ladder"!
1700
01:20:19,986 --> 01:20:21,158
- I know!
- You're going to be famous!
1701
01:20:21,237 --> 01:20:23,831
I might be, I don't know!
1702
01:20:23,906 --> 01:20:25,704
Do you still want to go
to San Francisco?
1703
01:20:27,034 --> 01:20:28,035
Seriously?
1704
01:20:28,828 --> 01:20:30,000
Yeah.
1705
01:20:30,913 --> 01:20:32,961
We're practically there.
1706
01:20:33,040 --> 01:20:36,044
You're curious, I'm curious, so,
what the hell?
1707
01:20:37,420 --> 01:20:40,594
Yeah, if... Are you...
Are you sure you want to?
1708
01:20:41,757 --> 01:20:42,929
Yeah.
1709
01:20:43,217 --> 01:20:45,094
Okay. Great.
1710
01:20:45,178 --> 01:20:46,179
- Okay.
- Okay.
1711
01:20:46,512 --> 01:20:49,015
So, honey, what if you
take an eye dropper
1712
01:20:49,098 --> 01:20:50,350
and you drop it in your eyes?
1713
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:52,477
Oh, you're right! You know what?
1714
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:54,278
It's actually not a bad idea.
I should do it.
1715
01:20:54,353 --> 01:20:55,400
You could also put it in your nose.
1716
01:20:55,480 --> 01:20:56,481
Right.
1717
01:21:01,027 --> 01:21:02,700
So what was your plan?
1718
01:21:02,945 --> 01:21:05,243
Well, I thought you'd call him
1719
01:21:05,531 --> 01:21:07,204
and you'd say, "Hey, remember me?"
1720
01:21:07,450 --> 01:21:10,795
And then you guys would
go have some tea,
1721
01:21:11,120 --> 01:21:13,623
and then you would marry each other.
1722
01:21:14,957 --> 01:21:17,801
Well, then you don't have
to pay for my old age home.
1723
01:21:17,877 --> 01:21:19,299
Exactly. That's the real plan.
1724
01:21:19,378 --> 01:21:20,425
Very, very good thinking.
1725
01:21:20,505 --> 01:21:21,802
Here. Here. His number's on top there.
1726
01:21:21,881 --> 01:21:22,882
- What?
- Call him.
1727
01:21:22,965 --> 01:21:24,512
Put it on speakerphone.
Put it on speakerphone.
1728
01:21:24,592 --> 01:21:26,060
- Oh, no, honey...
- I want to hear. Yeah.
1729
01:21:26,135 --> 01:21:29,480
Okay. This is the moment of truth. Okay.
1730
01:21:30,473 --> 01:21:32,692
I hope he's home. I hope he's not home.
1731
01:21:32,767 --> 01:21:33,768
I hope he's home.
1732
01:21:34,477 --> 01:21:36,525
This is very tense for me.
1733
01:21:36,646 --> 01:21:37,989
How'd you get this number?
1734
01:21:38,147 --> 01:21:39,569
Well, there's this Internet now.
1735
01:21:39,649 --> 01:21:41,822
- Oh! Oh, right.
- It has tons of information.
1736
01:21:42,151 --> 01:21:43,994
Okay, I'm going to press...
1737
01:21:44,487 --> 01:21:45,534
"Call." Just hit "call."
1738
01:21:45,613 --> 01:21:46,614
You sure that this is his number?
1739
01:21:46,697 --> 01:21:47,698
That is the number.
1740
01:21:48,157 --> 01:21:50,000
I can't take the pressure.
1741
01:21:51,536 --> 01:21:53,129
Hello?
1742
01:21:53,663 --> 01:21:54,835
This is it.
1743
01:21:55,331 --> 01:21:56,503
Talk.
1744
01:21:58,042 --> 01:21:59,259
Hello?
1745
01:21:59,335 --> 01:22:01,679
- Andy?
- Speaking.
1746
01:22:04,757 --> 01:22:05,758
- Hello?
-Keep talking.
1747
01:22:06,926 --> 01:22:07,927
- I can't.
- What was that?
1748
01:22:08,010 --> 01:22:09,853
- I can't! It was him!
- I know! I heard!
1749
01:22:09,929 --> 01:22:11,272
- It was him, Andy!
- Why did you do that?
1750
01:22:11,347 --> 01:22:14,100
- I got scared!
- Ma, you got to call him back!
1751
01:22:14,183 --> 01:22:15,184
- Come on!
- I couldn't talk.
1752
01:22:15,309 --> 01:22:16,435
Don't wimp out like that.
1753
01:22:16,519 --> 01:22:17,691
- This is his address, right?
- Yes!
1754
01:22:17,937 --> 01:22:19,689
Okay, so what I think we should do,
1755
01:22:19,772 --> 01:22:20,944
since we're going to do this,
1756
01:22:21,023 --> 01:22:22,696
we should just surprise him.
1757
01:22:22,775 --> 01:22:24,118
That's what I think we should do.
1758
01:22:24,193 --> 01:22:25,365
Okay. Fine.
1759
01:22:25,444 --> 01:22:26,696
- Okay?
- Yeah. No, that's a good idea.
1760
01:22:26,779 --> 01:22:28,281
You know I have to stop
and change, right?
1761
01:22:28,364 --> 01:22:30,288
I do. I know that, yes. You told me.
1762
01:22:30,367 --> 01:22:31,368
I have to... Yeah.
1763
01:22:31,451 --> 01:22:33,453
You are really getting
dolled up over there, Ma.
1764
01:22:33,537 --> 01:22:35,915
Honey, the man hasn't seen me
since I was 21.
1765
01:22:35,998 --> 01:22:37,545
I don't want to scare him.
1766
01:22:39,710 --> 01:22:41,007
Well, then don't do that.
1767
01:22:42,087 --> 01:22:45,011
I'm not going to do that in front of him.
1768
01:22:55,392 --> 01:22:56,484
Nice neighbourhood.
1769
01:22:56,560 --> 01:22:57,561
Very nice.
1770
01:22:57,894 --> 01:22:59,692
Oh, my God.
1771
01:23:03,567 --> 01:23:05,069
This is it, Ma. This is the house.
1772
01:23:05,152 --> 01:23:06,995
- Really? You sure?
- Yeah, sure. Positive, yeah.
1773
01:23:07,070 --> 01:23:09,118
How do I look? Do I look okay?
1774
01:23:09,573 --> 01:23:10,916
You look very nice, actually.
1775
01:23:11,033 --> 01:23:12,785
- Really?
- Yeah. You do. You look good.
1776
01:23:13,076 --> 01:23:14,202
Good. So I don't have to
1777
01:23:14,286 --> 01:23:15,913
-worry about that.
- No, you did it.
1778
01:23:16,163 --> 01:23:19,007
Okay. I just hope
we have the right address.
1779
01:23:19,249 --> 01:23:21,001
I... I'm positive we do. I looked it up.
1780
01:23:21,084 --> 01:23:22,836
I don't know. You can't trust
those GPS things.
1781
01:23:22,919 --> 01:23:24,091
- No, I looked it up.
- All right.
1782
01:23:25,380 --> 01:23:26,757
Okay-
1783
01:23:27,549 --> 01:23:30,223
- I can't!
- Just do it. Come on.
1784
01:23:31,219 --> 01:23:34,564
Okay. Okay, I'm going
to do it. Ready, set, go.
1785
01:23:37,100 --> 01:23:40,570
It's old-timey. I like that.
That was good.
1786
01:23:41,605 --> 01:23:44,279
- Maybe he's not home.
- Just push it again.
1787
01:23:44,566 --> 01:23:46,239
Come on.
1788
01:23:48,070 --> 01:23:49,071
Coming!
1789
01:23:49,279 --> 01:23:51,122
- He's home!
- He's coming.
1790
01:23:51,239 --> 01:23:53,913
- He sounded very masculine.
- Oh, my God.
1791
01:23:55,744 --> 01:23:56,745
Hello.
1792
01:23:56,870 --> 01:23:59,293
Hello. We're looking
for Andrew Margolis.
1793
01:23:59,414 --> 01:24:01,837
Not interested. Thank you.
1794
01:24:01,917 --> 01:24:04,295
No, we're not selling anything.
1795
01:24:04,378 --> 01:24:06,221
We're just trying to find
Andrew Margolis.
1796
01:24:06,296 --> 01:24:07,422
This is his house, right?
1797
01:24:08,423 --> 01:24:10,926
This is his house. I'm him.
1798
01:24:11,134 --> 01:24:12,807
- What can I do for you?
- You're...
1799
01:24:14,596 --> 01:24:17,440
You're Andrew Margolis
from J&R Advertising?
1800
01:24:17,641 --> 01:24:20,064
Yes, I am Andrew Margolis
from J&R Advertising
1801
01:24:20,143 --> 01:24:24,774
and this is getting weird.
What is this about?
1802
01:24:26,108 --> 01:24:28,611
You're his son. Right?
1803
01:24:32,614 --> 01:24:34,241
Your father's name is also Andrew?
1804
01:24:34,324 --> 01:24:35,325
Yes.
1805
01:24:35,450 --> 01:24:37,248
And he also works at J&R?
1806
01:24:37,577 --> 01:24:40,330
Well, he owned it.
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
1807
01:24:40,455 --> 01:24:43,800
No, no, I'm sorry.
It's 'cause this is confusing.
1808
01:24:44,126 --> 01:24:45,503
My mother's an old friend
of your father's.
1809
01:24:45,627 --> 01:24:47,595
I thought you...
it doesn't make a difference.
1810
01:24:47,671 --> 01:24:50,720
Could you just help us get
in touch with your father please?
1811
01:24:50,799 --> 01:24:53,473
Well, I'm sorry.
My dad died five years ago.
1812
01:25:06,898 --> 01:25:08,491
Yeah.
1813
01:25:09,651 --> 01:25:11,995
Look, would... Do you want to come in?
1814
01:25:12,112 --> 01:25:13,614
- Or something?
- Do you want to...
1815
01:25:13,697 --> 01:25:15,699
- I would like to sit down.
- Yeah, please, come in.
1816
01:25:15,824 --> 01:25:17,497
- Thank you.
- Absolutely. Please.
1817
01:25:17,826 --> 01:25:19,499
Thank you.
1818
01:25:20,829 --> 01:25:22,376
You're driving to job interviews?
1819
01:25:22,497 --> 01:25:23,464
Pitching the product.
1820
01:25:23,540 --> 01:25:25,542
- All over the country.
- All over, yeah.
1821
01:25:25,834 --> 01:25:28,337
Your father was very important
to my mother.
1822
01:25:28,670 --> 01:25:30,172
He was a good man.
1823
01:25:31,506 --> 01:25:33,725
How long were your parents married?
1824
01:25:33,842 --> 01:25:35,014
- Twenty-six years.
- Wow.
1825
01:25:35,218 --> 01:25:37,892
Yeah. My mom's in Florida now.
1826
01:25:38,346 --> 01:25:39,643
We should probably get going.
1827
01:25:39,723 --> 01:25:40,975
You just got back from a trip, so...
1828
01:25:41,057 --> 01:25:42,309
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
1829
01:25:42,392 --> 01:25:46,397
I don't know if my son mentioned this,
1830
01:25:47,731 --> 01:25:49,905
but I dated your father for a while.
1831
01:25:50,026 --> 01:25:51,198
Before he met your mother.
1832
01:25:51,527 --> 01:25:52,574
- Really?
- Yeah.
1833
01:25:53,529 --> 01:25:54,872
And.
1834
01:25:55,531 --> 01:25:57,499
I just wondered, did he ever talk about
1835
01:25:57,575 --> 01:25:59,202
-that part of his life?
- Ma...
1836
01:25:59,535 --> 01:26:01,537
No, no, no, it's okay.
1837
01:26:02,371 --> 01:26:04,089
No, I'm sorry, I didn't know.
1838
01:26:04,207 --> 01:26:06,175
My dad never talked about
anybody but my mom,
1839
01:26:06,250 --> 01:26:07,376
at least not to us.
1840
01:26:08,211 --> 01:26:09,884
Right. Of course not.
1841
01:26:12,715 --> 01:26:14,763
He was a very, very nice man.
1842
01:26:15,551 --> 01:26:17,724
Very, very nice to me.
1843
01:26:18,054 --> 01:26:20,728
And I'm really sorry for your loss.
1844
01:26:20,932 --> 01:26:23,276
- Thank you.
- Hi, I'm here!
1845
01:26:23,559 --> 01:26:27,564
You have enough mail here
to choke a horse!
1846
01:26:27,897 --> 01:26:31,572
Hi. Sorry. I didn't
realize you had company.
1847
01:26:31,901 --> 01:26:33,448
No, no, that's okay. These
are old friends of Dad's.
1848
01:26:33,569 --> 01:26:34,695
This is my sister.
1849
01:26:34,779 --> 01:26:36,122
Hi. I'm Andy.
1850
01:26:36,447 --> 01:26:39,576
Hi. Joyce. Nice to meet you.
1851
01:26:40,243 --> 01:26:42,371
Yes. Hi.
1852
01:26:42,453 --> 01:26:43,796
- Welcome back.
- Thank you.
1853
01:26:43,913 --> 01:26:45,460
Do you still want to get dinner?
1854
01:26:45,748 --> 01:26:47,045
I do. It might be a few minutes.
1855
01:26:47,124 --> 01:26:48,421
Okay. I didn't mean to interrupt.
1856
01:26:48,751 --> 01:26:50,594
No, no, no. Not at all.
1857
01:26:50,920 --> 01:26:53,264
They're on a road trip.
1858
01:26:54,924 --> 01:26:56,096
Honey.
1859
01:27:55,484 --> 01:27:57,157
Just one second, okay?
1860
01:28:23,512 --> 01:28:24,513
Remember to drink your water.
1861
01:28:24,597 --> 01:28:25,598
Okay. I will.
1862
01:28:25,681 --> 01:28:26,648
Six bottles a day.
1863
01:28:26,724 --> 01:28:28,067
Because it's good
for my skin and my kidneys?
1864
01:28:28,225 --> 01:28:29,397
- That's right!
- Okay.
1865
01:28:29,518 --> 01:28:30,895
So, you checked the car thoroughly?
1866
01:28:31,020 --> 01:28:32,488
I checked the car. I checked
every inch of the car.
1867
01:28:32,563 --> 01:28:34,565
And the front and the back?
1868
01:28:34,690 --> 01:28:37,034
There is no way we left
anything in the car, okay?
1869
01:28:37,151 --> 01:28:39,245
- Yeah.
- Yeah. I think...
1870
01:28:40,196 --> 01:28:43,370
I think I'm... Yeah, I'm that way.
1871
01:28:44,700 --> 01:28:47,203
And I'm this way. Right?
1872
01:28:47,536 --> 01:28:49,880
Okay. Well, you sure you can
find the gate on your own?
1873
01:28:50,748 --> 01:28:52,295
Can I find the gate on my own?
1874
01:28:52,375 --> 01:28:54,343
Honey, I pierced my ears
and ate half a cow.
1875
01:28:54,418 --> 01:28:56,716
I think I can find the gate on my own.
1876
01:28:57,713 --> 01:28:59,340
Yeah.
1877
01:28:59,715 --> 01:29:01,388
You know, this...
1878
01:29:02,218 --> 01:29:04,892
This week really didn't go
how I planned.
1879
01:29:05,096 --> 01:29:07,064
Oh, sweetheart, it went better.
1880
01:29:07,390 --> 01:29:11,396
It went... You know, I spent
almost 30 years of my life
1881
01:29:12,062 --> 01:29:16,238
thinking I didn't matter to someone
who mattered a great deal to me.
1882
01:29:16,566 --> 01:29:19,911
I got the answer I needed. I did.
1883
01:29:20,737 --> 01:29:23,240
- It's like Anita always says.
- Oh, God.
1884
01:29:24,074 --> 01:29:26,122
When it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
1885
01:29:28,620 --> 01:29:29,621
That's actually good advice.
1886
01:29:29,913 --> 01:29:31,130
I think I should give you her number.
1887
01:29:31,623 --> 01:29:33,921
- Okay.
- The point is that
1888
01:29:34,418 --> 01:29:37,262
I wasn't meant to be with Andy Margolis.
1889
01:29:37,754 --> 01:29:40,598
You see? I was meant to meet him,
1890
01:29:41,299 --> 01:29:43,643
but I was meant to marry your father.
1891
01:29:44,428 --> 01:29:46,601
Because if I hadn't,
1892
01:29:47,097 --> 01:29:48,770
I wouldn't have had you.
1893
01:29:49,599 --> 01:29:51,272
Don't you see, Andy?
1894
01:29:52,269 --> 01:29:54,112
It was always you.
1895
01:29:54,438 --> 01:29:56,440
You're the love of my life, baby.
1896
01:29:57,315 --> 01:29:59,317
It will always be you.
1897
01:30:03,613 --> 01:30:06,116
I got to go before I start crying.
1898
01:30:07,617 --> 01:30:09,164
Just remember one thing.
1899
01:30:09,828 --> 01:30:12,672
If all the boys in the world were lined up
1900
01:30:12,789 --> 01:30:13,915
and I could only pick one...
1901
01:30:13,999 --> 01:30:16,673
I wouldn't have let you
pick anyone else, Ma.
1902
01:30:16,960 --> 01:30:18,382
Yeah, you would have.
1903
01:30:18,462 --> 01:30:20,430
You would have
let Mrs. Shapiro pick you.
1904
01:30:20,505 --> 01:30:21,848
- No, I would not.
- You loved her cookies.
1905
01:30:22,132 --> 01:30:24,134
They were really good cookies.
1906
01:30:34,186 --> 01:30:35,859
I miss you already.
1907
01:30:48,325 --> 01:30:50,999
You know, this was
the best week of my life.
1908
01:30:51,828 --> 01:30:53,330
I love you, Mom.
1909
01:30:57,501 --> 01:30:59,003
Okay. Bye.
1910
01:31:12,474 --> 01:31:13,566
Okay-
1911
01:31:14,184 --> 01:31:17,358
You've got to be kidding me.
This is a new record.
1912
01:31:20,857 --> 01:31:22,859
Hi. Ben?
1913
01:31:23,193 --> 01:31:26,197
It's Joyce. Yeah, the big eater.
1914
01:31:30,700 --> 01:31:32,043
Okay-
1915
01:31:39,376 --> 01:31:41,049
- Mom, you want to try some?
- Sure.
1916
01:31:41,378 --> 01:31:43,051
You see, Mom?
1917
01:31:43,547 --> 01:31:45,220
It's right over there.
1918
01:31:45,549 --> 01:31:46,892
Hello, Mom.
1919
01:32:24,921 --> 01:32:28,267
I think we should think about
taking another trip,
1920
01:32:28,384 --> 01:32:29,931
in Europe. How about that?
1921
01:32:30,469 --> 01:32:32,471
- You want to go to Europe?
- What do you think about that?
1922
01:32:32,763 --> 01:32:34,436
I don't think that's a very good idea.
1923
01:32:34,640 --> 01:32:36,642
I am so fascinated
with the Book on Tape,
1924
01:32:36,767 --> 01:32:38,360
I want to finish it, I sit in the garage.
1925
01:32:38,477 --> 01:32:39,569
Well, I hope you turn the car off,
1926
01:32:39,645 --> 01:32:40,817
'cause you're going to die if you don't.
1927
01:32:41,105 --> 01:32:42,072
I know. I know.
1928
01:32:42,148 --> 01:32:43,445
- I got to remember that.
- That would be good.
1929
01:32:43,608 --> 01:32:45,326
Since I was your mother and your father,
1930
01:32:45,443 --> 01:32:46,615
and I had to tell you about sex.
1931
01:32:46,694 --> 01:32:47,695
Yes.
1932
01:32:47,778 --> 01:32:48,870
Did that help you in your life?
1933
01:32:48,946 --> 01:32:50,869
Well, you can't undo
the fact that you told me
1934
01:32:50,948 --> 01:32:53,167
about penetrative sex at a young age.
1935
01:32:53,284 --> 01:32:55,503
But I guess... I don't know.
1936
01:32:55,620 --> 01:32:56,963
Just don't do that in the future.
1937
01:32:57,163 --> 01:32:58,289
Well, I'll give you my number.
1938
01:32:58,414 --> 01:32:59,381
Okay-
1939
01:32:59,457 --> 01:33:00,754
And you give us a call
when you're in town.
1940
01:33:00,833 --> 01:33:02,380
Yeah, you guys should
probably keep in touch.
1941
01:33:02,460 --> 01:33:03,461
All right.
1942
01:33:04,962 --> 01:33:07,431
Like, as a rule?
They just rape all the time?
1943
01:33:07,506 --> 01:33:10,851
No, not all the time.
Sometimes. But you never know.
1944
01:33:10,968 --> 01:33:12,970
They may not rape you, but...
1945
01:33:13,304 --> 01:33:16,148
- They'll rape someone.
- They're going to rape someone.
1946
01:33:19,143 --> 01:33:21,271
- They might rape both of us.
- Oh, no!
1947
01:33:21,354 --> 01:33:23,698
I carry the Books on Tape
in a Walkman.
1948
01:33:23,981 --> 01:33:25,949
- In a what?
- A Walkman.
1949
01:33:26,025 --> 01:33:27,743
In a Walkman?
1950
01:33:27,818 --> 01:33:30,037
Do you have to get in
a time machine before you use that?
1951
01:33:30,321 --> 01:33:32,073
You should call Cousin Lowell.
1952
01:33:32,156 --> 01:33:33,658
I should call Cousin Lowell?
1953
01:33:33,991 --> 01:33:35,459
Have I ever met Cousin Lowell?
1954
01:33:35,534 --> 01:33:37,252
It doesn't matter. He has T.B.
1955
01:33:37,328 --> 01:33:38,375
it would be very nice to hear from you.
1956
01:33:38,496 --> 01:33:41,215
- He has tuberculosis?
-It's around now.
1957
01:33:41,332 --> 01:33:43,255
- Do people still get that?
- Oh, yes. Absolutely.
1958
01:33:43,334 --> 01:33:45,086
I thought they stopped getting that,
like, in cowboy times?
1959
01:33:45,169 --> 01:33:46,386
Didn't you hear that story... No.
1960
01:33:46,504 --> 01:33:48,882
Didn't you hear that story
about the guy on the plane?
1961
01:33:49,006 --> 01:33:51,680
- He had tuberculosis?
- And he infected the people.
1962
01:33:52,009 --> 01:33:53,682
Was Lowell on that plane?
1963
01:33:53,844 --> 01:33:54,845
I think so.
1964
01:33:55,012 --> 01:33:56,434
Exit in 1,000 feet.
1965
01:33:56,514 --> 01:33:57,606
Come on! Exit!
A thousand feet! Just exit!
1966
01:33:57,682 --> 01:33:58,808
How far is 1,000 feet?
1967
01:33:58,891 --> 01:33:59,983
You got to merge, Ma! That way!
1968
01:34:00,059 --> 01:34:01,402
Into what, honey? Into what?
1969
01:34:01,519 --> 01:34:02,691
Into the exit!
1970
01:34:02,895 --> 01:34:06,149
I'm driving 65 miles an hour
and she's talking in feet.
1971
01:34:06,232 --> 01:34:08,360
- Who the hell is that?
- Holy shit, there's a woman!