1 00:01:52,865 --> 00:01:54,523 -Yes? -Andrew Wyke? 2 00:01:54,689 --> 00:01:56,576 That's right. 3 00:01:57,377 --> 00:01:58,938 I'm Milo Tindle. 4 00:01:59,105 --> 00:02:01,789 Oh, yes, good. 5 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,767 Glad to meet you. 6 00:02:09,441 --> 00:02:11,513 You got the train to Charlebury, did you? 7 00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:13,917 -I drove. -Oh, you drove? 8 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,193 That's my car. 9 00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:17,183 Oh, the little one? 10 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,996 -Not the big one. -No, the big one's mine. 11 00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:22,015 What do you think of it? 12 00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:27,199 -Very handsome. -Yeah. 13 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,432 It is, isn't it? 14 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,689 Come in. 15 00:02:38,432 --> 00:02:41,912 I was watching a video of one of my books on television. 16 00:02:47,072 --> 00:02:48,860 Like the house? 17 00:02:49,024 --> 00:02:50,453 Extraordinary. 18 00:02:50,624 --> 00:02:54,235 You know who designed it, who the interior decorator was? 19 00:02:54,399 --> 00:02:56,668 Yes, your wife. 20 00:02:56,831 --> 00:02:58,238 You knew? 21 00:02:58,399 --> 00:03:00,025 Yes, I knew. 22 00:03:00,192 --> 00:03:02,134 I'll show you around later. 23 00:03:02,304 --> 00:03:03,897 Have a drink. I'm drinking vodka. 24 00:03:04,063 --> 00:03:06,616 -Scotch, please. -Scotch. 25 00:03:06,783 --> 00:03:10,132 Milo, what an interesting name. You're a foreigner, I take it? 26 00:03:10,303 --> 00:03:12,692 My father's Italian. 27 00:03:12,863 --> 00:03:15,002 Milo sounds Hungarian. 28 00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:16,760 Does it? 29 00:03:17,311 --> 00:03:19,221 Here's your Scotch. 30 00:03:22,239 --> 00:03:23,319 Cheers. 31 00:03:23,487 --> 00:03:25,211 Cheers. 32 00:03:26,847 --> 00:03:29,814 You sure your father isn't Hungarian? 33 00:03:29,983 --> 00:03:32,732 Well, if he is, he's kept it a dead secret for years. 34 00:03:32,894 --> 00:03:35,415 -And your mother? -English. 35 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,971 So you're a kind of half-breed? 36 00:03:39,199 --> 00:03:40,922 Sit down. 37 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,679 -Thanks for agreeing to see me. -Not at all. 38 00:03:50,846 --> 00:03:52,853 I didn't know you wrote plays for television. 39 00:03:53,022 --> 00:03:55,389 I don't. I write crime novels. You must know that. 40 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:56,532 I had heard. 41 00:03:56,702 --> 00:04:00,051 But sometimes they're adapted for television by other people. 42 00:04:00,222 --> 00:04:02,393 You know what the word adapted means, I take it? 43 00:04:02,558 --> 00:04:04,314 Adapted? 44 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,452 They may not have such a word in Italian. 45 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,372 -I speak English. -Good. 46 00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:12,850 Come and have a look at my special book room. 47 00:04:21,693 --> 00:04:23,384 These are all my novels. 48 00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,492 You've read them, I suppose? 49 00:04:25,661 --> 00:04:27,450 Afraid not. 50 00:04:27,613 --> 00:04:29,500 Good God, no? What about this one? 51 00:04:29,662 --> 00:04:31,865 -Rat in a Trap? -No. 52 00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:33,590 -The Obelisk? -No. 53 00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:34,740 -Blackout? -No. 54 00:04:34,909 --> 00:04:37,298 -Dead Fish? -Afraid not. 55 00:04:37,469 --> 00:04:39,257 God, you're one in a million. 56 00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:43,251 -Am l? -Oh, absolu-- I'm very popular. 57 00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:45,363 You see this shelf? 58 00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,410 Translations. 59 00:04:47,581 --> 00:04:50,876 French, Dutch, German. 60 00:04:51,037 --> 00:04:52,760 You speak Dutch yourself, do you? 61 00:04:52,924 --> 00:04:55,958 Yes, how did you know? I have a Dutch uncle. 62 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,979 Can't see any Italian translations. 63 00:04:58,141 --> 00:05:02,166 No, they're a funny lot, the Italians. Culture isn't really their thing. 64 00:05:02,332 --> 00:05:03,641 Their salami's good, though. 65 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,423 -Oh, is it? -Italian salami? Best in the world. 66 00:05:06,588 --> 00:05:08,344 Did you bring any with you? 67 00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,548 -No, I left it at home. -Oh, shame. 68 00:05:10,716 --> 00:05:12,407 We're gonna have it for supper tonight. 69 00:05:12,572 --> 00:05:14,360 With a couple of bottles of Valpolicella. 70 00:05:14,524 --> 00:05:17,372 -We? -Maggie and me. 71 00:05:18,556 --> 00:05:21,338 Your glass is empty. What were you drinking, vodka? 72 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,922 -Scotch. -Scotch. 73 00:05:35,228 --> 00:05:37,300 I want to come to the point. 74 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,743 Point? What point? 75 00:05:38,907 --> 00:05:40,730 Are you gonna give Maggie a divorce? 76 00:05:40,892 --> 00:05:42,168 And if not, why not? 77 00:05:42,331 --> 00:05:44,665 Yeah, yes, yes, we'll come to that. 78 00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:46,737 She thinks you're being unreasonable. 79 00:05:46,908 --> 00:05:48,434 So do l. 80 00:05:48,603 --> 00:05:51,669 She's never coming back to you, so why not just give her the divorce? 81 00:05:51,835 --> 00:05:55,097 It'll do her good to wait for five years. Good for her character. 82 00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:57,681 You're going to make her wait five years? 83 00:05:57,851 --> 00:06:01,200 - That's the law. The law of the land. -But that's pure spite. 84 00:06:01,371 --> 00:06:05,463 Anyway, we'll get back to that, perhaps. Have your drink first. 85 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,899 What do you do, by the way? 86 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:12,561 I'm an actor. 87 00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:15,033 Good God. Are you really? 88 00:06:15,195 --> 00:06:17,845 I thought Maggie said you were a hairdresser. 89 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:20,050 She must have been talking about someone else. 90 00:06:20,219 --> 00:06:21,648 You mean another friend? 91 00:06:21,819 --> 00:06:23,226 Another friend? 92 00:06:23,387 --> 00:06:25,077 She tends to have more than one friend. 93 00:06:25,242 --> 00:06:26,453 -Does she? -Oh, yes. 94 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:27,960 I'm her only friend. 95 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:29,584 She must be lonely. 96 00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:31,315 She's not. 97 00:06:31,483 --> 00:06:35,028 Acting is a pretty precarious profession, isn't it? 98 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,398 What are you acting in at the moment? 99 00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:39,350 I'm out of work. 100 00:06:39,514 --> 00:06:40,496 Poor chap. 101 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:43,284 I drive cars now and again, chauffeuring. 102 00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:45,784 -Oh, tough life. -I keep my head above water. 103 00:06:47,194 --> 00:06:49,365 What sort of parts do you play? 104 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,560 Killers, mostly. 105 00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:55,664 Sex maniacs, perverts. 106 00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,361 But you're so charming. 107 00:06:57,530 --> 00:07:00,050 Yes, I know. Anyway, what about this divorce? 108 00:07:00,218 --> 00:07:02,356 What's your position, exactly? 109 00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,888 All in good time. 110 00:07:13,401 --> 00:07:14,962 Come in. 111 00:07:21,753 --> 00:07:24,601 Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. 112 00:07:30,808 --> 00:07:32,750 I understand you're fucking my wife. 113 00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:34,961 -That's right. -Right. 114 00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:36,722 Yes, right. 115 00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,928 -So we've cleared that up. -We have. 116 00:07:39,096 --> 00:07:41,201 -I thought you might deny it. -Why would I deny it? 117 00:07:41,368 --> 00:07:44,118 -Well, she is my wife. -Yes, but she's fucking me. 118 00:07:44,281 --> 00:07:46,866 Oh, she's fucking you too? Well, I'll be buggered. 119 00:07:47,673 --> 00:07:49,331 -Sorry. -Yes, it's mutual. 120 00:07:49,497 --> 00:07:51,122 -You take turns? -We fuck each other. 121 00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:54,998 -That's what people do. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. I follow. 122 00:07:57,816 --> 00:08:00,271 -We're in love. -You're in love? 123 00:08:00,665 --> 00:08:01,875 That's right. 124 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,406 Let me top you up. 125 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,611 I heard a rumor that you wanted to marry her. 126 00:08:18,776 --> 00:08:20,663 -That can't be true, can it? -Why not? 127 00:08:20,824 --> 00:08:23,606 In this day and age, is marriage absolutely necessary? 128 00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:24,782 Isn't it a bit old hat? 129 00:08:24,952 --> 00:08:26,740 -ls it? -It's a mug's game. 130 00:08:26,903 --> 00:08:29,424 I wouldn't go near it if I were you. You can't marry her. 131 00:08:29,591 --> 00:08:31,696 You can't marry her because she's married to me. 132 00:08:31,863 --> 00:08:33,489 Unless I divorce her, of course. 133 00:08:33,656 --> 00:08:35,598 -And are you? -Am I what? 134 00:08:35,768 --> 00:08:36,815 Going to divorce her? 135 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,991 Are you really gonna make her wait five years? 136 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,942 -She wants to know. -To be honest, I can't wait. 137 00:08:42,552 --> 00:08:45,170 But there are one or two things I'd like to clear up first. 138 00:08:45,335 --> 00:08:49,808 For example, I've never heard of an Italian called Tindle. 139 00:08:49,975 --> 00:08:51,382 My father's name is Tindolini. 140 00:08:51,543 --> 00:08:54,740 Now, that's lovely. That's like a little bell. 141 00:08:54,903 --> 00:08:57,805 Why don't you go back to Tindolini? It suits you. 142 00:08:57,975 --> 00:08:59,381 -You think so? -Yes. 143 00:08:59,543 --> 00:09:03,983 So if and when you marry Maggie, she'll be Maggie Tindolini. 144 00:09:04,151 --> 00:09:06,517 Do you get a kick out of that? 145 00:09:07,126 --> 00:09:09,330 What name do you act under? Tindle or Tindolini? 146 00:09:09,494 --> 00:09:11,404 -Tindle. -Why have I never heard of you? 147 00:09:11,574 --> 00:09:12,851 You will before long. 148 00:09:13,015 --> 00:09:14,803 -Really? -In spades. 149 00:09:14,966 --> 00:09:16,559 -That sounds threatening. -Does it? 150 00:09:16,726 --> 00:09:18,133 Doesn't it? 151 00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:23,536 Why don't we get down to brass tacks? 152 00:09:23,702 --> 00:09:26,517 Brass tacks, yes. Why not? 153 00:09:27,766 --> 00:09:29,938 This is the way I see it. 154 00:09:31,478 --> 00:09:32,590 Come upstairs. 155 00:09:33,174 --> 00:09:35,476 I want to show you something. 156 00:09:39,734 --> 00:09:42,254 Are you all right in elevators? 157 00:09:45,109 --> 00:09:48,143 It won't make you sick or anything, will it? 158 00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:02,579 This is our bedroom. 159 00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:12,434 And this is my wife's dressing room. 160 00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:16,751 She left a few dresses. Couldn't be bothered to pick them up. 161 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:20,113 They're worth thousands. Thousands. 162 00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:23,789 This leather coat alone is worth 5000 quid. 163 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,405 So you see, the thing is this. Sit down. 164 00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,947 The thing is this, my wife spends money like water. 165 00:10:33,108 --> 00:10:37,298 So if you're not careful, she'll eat you out of house and home. 166 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,591 She was born to luxury, you know. Jamaica, the Ritz, the Swiss Alps. 167 00:10:41,237 --> 00:10:44,401 What are you? Out-of-work actor, part-time chauffeur. 168 00:10:44,565 --> 00:10:47,467 You're out of your depth, old boy. You're on a hiding to nothing. 169 00:10:47,636 --> 00:10:49,229 If you think you're broke now... 170 00:10:49,396 --> 00:10:52,462 ...you'll be 10 times broker by the time she's finished with you. 171 00:10:52,628 --> 00:10:54,351 She'll have your guts for garters. 172 00:10:55,796 --> 00:10:58,730 -She's in love with me. -Oh, never trust in love, chum. 173 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,747 Love will kick you up the arse as soon as look at you. 174 00:11:01,907 --> 00:11:05,290 One minute, it's love, 10 minutes later, it's contempt. 175 00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:07,020 That's your own experience, is it? 176 00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,871 Oh, no, no, no, that's observation. 177 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,240 Don't forget, I'm a novelist. 178 00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,771 I observe people. 179 00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:18,446 What I'm getting at is you won't be able to give her what she wants. 180 00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:21,361 So she's gonna leave you, come back to me. 181 00:11:21,523 --> 00:11:23,978 I don't want her near me. That's the last thing I want. 182 00:11:24,147 --> 00:11:25,903 I've had her up to here. 183 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:30,093 Anyway, I've got this lovely mistress. She runs a sauna in Swindon. 184 00:11:30,259 --> 00:11:31,274 She's my girl. 185 00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:34,291 So you see, I want Maggie to stay with you. 186 00:11:34,451 --> 00:11:37,200 I want you two to be together forever. 187 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,705 But unless you listen to me... 188 00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:40,972 ...the whole thing will be a fucking disaster... 189 00:11:41,139 --> 00:11:44,521 ...with catastrophic consequences all round. 190 00:11:45,299 --> 00:11:49,772 But I have a solution. 191 00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:56,490 You won't believe what I'm gonna say. 192 00:11:58,387 --> 00:12:00,361 What are you gonna say? 193 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:02,897 I'm all ears. 194 00:12:03,058 --> 00:12:04,520 You know something? 195 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,513 I'm beginning to respond to your charm. 196 00:12:06,675 --> 00:12:08,104 -Get away. -No, it's true. 197 00:12:08,274 --> 00:12:11,591 -I'm really touched. -You should be. 198 00:12:11,762 --> 00:12:14,926 Tell me, I bet you didn't expect me to be so intelligent. 199 00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:16,945 So quick-witted, did you? 200 00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:19,178 Oh, I did. 201 00:12:19,346 --> 00:12:21,135 Quite. 202 00:12:22,482 --> 00:12:24,849 Maggie told you, did she? 203 00:12:27,953 --> 00:12:29,961 What's your solution? 204 00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:36,328 It's a close fit, isn't it? 205 00:12:36,497 --> 00:12:38,253 For two. 206 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:49,677 Listen, I'm going to make you a proposition. 207 00:12:50,705 --> 00:12:52,974 A few years ago, I gave her some jewels. 208 00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:55,374 Amazingly expensive. 209 00:12:55,537 --> 00:12:59,311 I didn't give them to her, I own them. They're insured in my name. 210 00:12:59,473 --> 00:13:02,702 But I let her use them on special occasions. 211 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,614 They're worth 1 million pounds. 212 00:13:05,777 --> 00:13:08,843 They spend half the time in the bank, half the time in the safe. 213 00:13:09,009 --> 00:13:13,678 At the moment, they're here in the house, in the safe. 214 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,769 And I want you to steal them. 215 00:13:21,808 --> 00:13:24,230 -Steal them? -That's right. 216 00:13:24,785 --> 00:13:27,851 -What the hell do you mean? -I want you to steal the jewels. 217 00:13:28,017 --> 00:13:30,351 You want me to steal the jewels? I don't get it. 218 00:13:30,512 --> 00:13:33,065 It's simple. You steal the jewels, sell them abroad... 219 00:13:33,232 --> 00:13:35,883 ...and you live happily ever after with Maggie. 220 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,504 I get rid of my wife and I'll be like a pig in shit. 221 00:13:38,672 --> 00:13:41,869 You can keep Maggie in the manner to which she's become accustomed. 222 00:13:42,032 --> 00:13:45,196 You want me to take part in a scummy little plot... 223 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,531 ...to defraud your insurance company, is that it? 224 00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,190 I thought it was quite elegant. 225 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,854 What do you think I am? 226 00:13:51,023 --> 00:13:53,479 What the fuck are you actually talking about? 227 00:13:53,647 --> 00:13:55,982 -These are real facts. -This is a joke. 228 00:13:56,144 --> 00:13:57,126 -No. -It's also a trap. 229 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,856 -A trap? -Yes. You think I'm a fool. 230 00:13:59,024 --> 00:14:00,234 Well, are you? 231 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,676 -It doesn't hold up. -Why not? 232 00:14:01,839 --> 00:14:05,188 They're worth a million pounds. You'd get a fraction of that from any fence. 233 00:14:05,359 --> 00:14:08,359 I have already contacted a friend of mine in Amsterdam. 234 00:14:08,527 --> 00:14:13,895 And he will give you 800,000 pounds tax-free. 235 00:14:14,063 --> 00:14:16,005 Now, think about it. 236 00:14:16,175 --> 00:14:18,662 Eight hundred thousand pounds... 237 00:14:18,831 --> 00:14:20,806 ...tax-free. 238 00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:24,553 Why would he do that? 239 00:14:24,719 --> 00:14:27,369 When you steal the jewels, you will also steal the receipts. 240 00:14:27,535 --> 00:14:31,081 So he'll have title to the jewels as well as the jewels themselves... 241 00:14:31,247 --> 00:14:33,767 ...so that when he sells them, he gets full value. 242 00:14:37,071 --> 00:14:38,859 Got it? 243 00:14:39,022 --> 00:14:40,746 Think about it. 244 00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:42,950 Take your time. 245 00:15:00,174 --> 00:15:02,924 And why would you do all this? 246 00:15:03,086 --> 00:15:07,625 Listen, under this crooked exterior, I am a simple, honest man. 247 00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:11,270 Every word I've told you is true, I swear it. 248 00:15:11,438 --> 00:15:16,708 I want to get rid of my wife, but I want it to be solid, permanent. 249 00:15:16,878 --> 00:15:19,780 I don't want her on my back. I want her to stay on your back. 250 00:15:19,949 --> 00:15:21,378 This is a frame-up. 251 00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:23,786 -A frame-up? -Yes. 252 00:15:23,949 --> 00:15:26,405 You want to destroy me. 253 00:15:26,573 --> 00:15:27,784 You want to see me in jail. 254 00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:31,298 You want me to do this and then shop me to the police. 255 00:15:31,469 --> 00:15:32,647 No, no, no. 256 00:15:32,814 --> 00:15:36,970 If I shop you, then you'll shop me, and then we'll both end up in jail. 257 00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,500 No, I take a strictly moral position on all this. 258 00:15:39,661 --> 00:15:41,603 My wife is an adulteress. 259 00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:43,977 Actually, she should be stoned to death. 260 00:15:44,141 --> 00:15:46,791 Anyway, it's up to you. Make up your own mind. 261 00:15:46,957 --> 00:15:48,299 You're asking me to trust you? 262 00:15:48,461 --> 00:15:50,348 I don't give a fuck if you trust me or not. 263 00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,035 This is a simple proposition. 264 00:15:52,205 --> 00:15:54,725 You have an expensive woman and no money. 265 00:15:54,893 --> 00:15:57,828 You wanna keep the woman, steal the jewels. 266 00:15:57,996 --> 00:16:01,673 Why don't you steal the jewels and give them to me? 267 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,397 Don't be a bloody fool. 268 00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:06,860 The burglary has to be right. The house has to be broken into. 269 00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:09,672 -Why don't you break into it? -For chrissake, I'm in it. 270 00:16:09,837 --> 00:16:12,520 How can I break into it? I live here. 271 00:16:39,371 --> 00:16:40,353 Okay. 272 00:16:40,523 --> 00:16:46,153 If I were to agree to do this, would you agree to the divorce? 273 00:16:46,316 --> 00:16:47,941 Why should I give her the divorce... 274 00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,409 ...if you're both walking away with 800,000 pounds? 275 00:16:50,572 --> 00:16:52,644 She wants a legal settlement. 276 00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:55,201 -She wants part of your estate. -Greedy. 277 00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:57,030 That's legal justice. 278 00:16:57,195 --> 00:16:59,366 Never trust in legal justice. 279 00:16:59,531 --> 00:17:01,319 You know what legal justice is? 280 00:17:01,483 --> 00:17:05,313 It's farting "Annie Laurie" through a keyhole. 281 00:17:06,891 --> 00:17:10,786 Listen, 800,000 pounds... 282 00:17:10,955 --> 00:17:12,132 ...tax-free. 283 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,209 All yours, in cash. 284 00:17:14,378 --> 00:17:18,023 -Why don't you stop pissing around? -But wait a minute. 285 00:17:18,187 --> 00:17:21,001 You get a million from the insurance. 286 00:17:21,163 --> 00:17:22,591 Sure I do. 287 00:17:22,762 --> 00:17:25,380 Well, all right, I'll be frank. 288 00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:29,124 I need it. Cash flow, stocks, shares going down. 289 00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:31,941 Get me? Quid pro quo. 290 00:17:32,107 --> 00:17:35,751 You do me a favor, I do you a favor, you keep the woman. 291 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,683 Okay. 292 00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:42,025 Let's make a deal. 293 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,968 -What deal? -I break in, I steal the jewels. 294 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:48,960 And you agree to the divorce. 295 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:53,800 That's the deal. Otherwise, fuck it. That's another quid pro quo. 296 00:17:53,962 --> 00:17:56,067 But you have to shake on it. 297 00:17:57,738 --> 00:17:59,330 All right. 298 00:17:59,914 --> 00:18:01,474 I'll shake on it. 299 00:18:01,642 --> 00:18:03,430 Here's my hand. 300 00:18:04,874 --> 00:18:06,499 Okay. 301 00:18:08,809 --> 00:18:11,591 Okay. So, what do I do? 302 00:18:11,754 --> 00:18:13,826 You break in. 303 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:15,553 You see that skylight up there? 304 00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:19,911 Well, that window there is the only one that the burglar alarm doesn't touch. 305 00:18:20,073 --> 00:18:21,055 You get in there. 306 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,574 -That's pretty high up. -Well, you climb a ladder. 307 00:18:24,745 --> 00:18:26,600 -I'm not good at heights. -You can do it. 308 00:18:26,761 --> 00:18:28,671 Honestly, I know you can. 309 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,525 -You're having me on. -Oh, come on. Behave like a man. 310 00:18:31,689 --> 00:18:32,965 A man of action. 311 00:18:33,129 --> 00:18:35,812 You don't have to be a hairdresser for the rest of your life. 312 00:18:35,976 --> 00:18:40,199 You can be free, independent, take care of the woman you love. 313 00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:41,823 Listen.... 314 00:18:42,409 --> 00:18:43,750 Put this on. 315 00:18:43,912 --> 00:18:46,367 I use it to communicate with my gardener. 316 00:18:51,432 --> 00:18:53,188 Lovely. Actually, it suits you. 317 00:18:54,761 --> 00:18:57,150 This is what you do. You go outside. 318 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,255 Across the lawn, there's a shed. Behind the shed, there's a ladder. 319 00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:03,207 You take the ladder, put it up against the wall of the house... 320 00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:06,750 ...and I direct you through the earphone. 321 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,117 -Are you with me? -Well, yes, yes. 322 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,668 -But I'm anxious and frightened. -Trust me. 323 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,360 -But I don't. -Well, trust me and all will be well. 324 00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:19,173 Just follow my advice. It's got to look real. 325 00:19:19,336 --> 00:19:21,343 We have to convince the insurance people... 326 00:19:21,512 --> 00:19:23,650 ...and the police, if you see what I mean. 327 00:19:23,816 --> 00:19:28,289 Maggie never told me you were such a manipulator. 328 00:19:28,456 --> 00:19:30,016 She told me you were no good in bed. 329 00:19:30,184 --> 00:19:32,159 But she never told me you were a manipulator. 330 00:19:32,327 --> 00:19:35,393 -She told you I was no good in bed? -Oh, yes. 331 00:19:35,559 --> 00:19:39,072 She was joking. I'm wonderful in bed. 332 00:19:39,239 --> 00:19:41,181 I must tell her. 333 00:19:52,231 --> 00:19:54,435 -There's the shed across the lawn. -Shed, yeah. 334 00:19:54,983 --> 00:19:58,529 -There's the ladder behind the shed. -The ladder? 335 00:19:59,238 --> 00:20:00,929 The ladder. 336 00:20:02,503 --> 00:20:04,804 Inside the shed, there's a pair of gardening gloves. 337 00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:07,422 Put them on. By the gardening gloves, there's a hammer. 338 00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:09,151 You go round the back of the house. 339 00:20:09,319 --> 00:20:11,708 Put the ladder up against the wall by the lower roof. 340 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,944 Then, carry the hammer up the ladder on to the lower roof. 341 00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:17,379 Then, you pull the ladder up on to the main roof... 342 00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:20,160 ...and break the skylight window with the hammer. 343 00:20:25,222 --> 00:20:28,767 Wait a minute. You've forgotten one major item. 344 00:20:28,934 --> 00:20:30,789 What? 345 00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:33,470 Once I'm in, how do I get down to floor level? 346 00:20:33,638 --> 00:20:35,875 Didn't I tell you? Oh, sorry. 347 00:20:36,038 --> 00:20:37,947 You see that small metal door up there? 348 00:20:38,118 --> 00:20:39,841 Inside, there's an electric ladder. 349 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,494 You get through the window, I press a button. 350 00:20:42,662 --> 00:20:43,872 The ladder descends. 351 00:20:44,038 --> 00:20:46,274 -You get on and climb down. -Let me see it descend. 352 00:20:46,437 --> 00:20:48,347 -What? -Let me see it come down now. 353 00:20:48,517 --> 00:20:49,979 Sure. 354 00:21:04,837 --> 00:21:07,739 See? Easy as pissing. 355 00:21:11,685 --> 00:21:15,297 -I have a funny feeling that I'm a cunt. -Of course you're a cunt. 356 00:21:16,357 --> 00:21:19,226 But so what? You'll end up a wealthy man. 357 00:21:19,397 --> 00:21:22,048 Obey the rules. Just obey the rules. 358 00:21:23,077 --> 00:21:25,662 -Whose rules? -My rules. 359 00:21:27,812 --> 00:21:29,885 Go and get the other ladder. 360 00:21:58,020 --> 00:21:59,427 Can you see the ladder? 361 00:22:03,236 --> 00:22:04,861 Can I see the ladder? 362 00:22:17,316 --> 00:22:19,999 Place the ladder against the wall. 363 00:22:20,163 --> 00:22:22,138 Okay. 364 00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:25,920 Extend the ladder. 365 00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:27,261 Okay. 366 00:22:31,235 --> 00:22:33,275 -Climb up the ladder. -Okay! 367 00:22:38,915 --> 00:22:40,376 Climb up the ladder. 368 00:22:41,603 --> 00:22:43,294 Why am I doing this? 369 00:22:56,802 --> 00:22:59,617 Keep calm. Keep calm. 370 00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:02,429 Keep coming. Keep coming. 371 00:23:02,594 --> 00:23:04,317 -Watch your step. -Jesus. 372 00:23:11,331 --> 00:23:13,370 Keep calm. 373 00:23:53,249 --> 00:23:55,900 -Watch your step. -I'm gonna die. 374 00:23:57,441 --> 00:23:58,337 Fuck. 375 00:23:59,584 --> 00:24:01,592 Don't stop. Keep going. 376 00:24:02,753 --> 00:24:04,215 Don't look down. 377 00:24:06,241 --> 00:24:07,703 You're at the window. 378 00:24:08,801 --> 00:24:10,426 Smash it. 379 00:24:19,841 --> 00:24:21,368 Fantastic. 380 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:25,305 -Where's the ladder? -What ladder? 381 00:24:25,472 --> 00:24:27,098 The ladder. Where's it gone? 382 00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:30,134 It's not working. There was always a dodgy fuse on this. 383 00:24:30,304 --> 00:24:32,191 I'll phone the electrician in the morning. 384 00:24:32,352 --> 00:24:33,913 In the morning? What about now? 385 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,415 No, he'll be in bed. You know these country people. 386 00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:40,569 Early to bed, early to rise. He's a nice chap. He's called Norman. 387 00:24:40,736 --> 00:24:43,256 Charming wife, Debbie. Three delightful kids. 388 00:24:43,424 --> 00:24:45,879 Oh, I've just remembered. He's on vacation. 389 00:24:46,048 --> 00:24:48,536 -He's taken the kids to Bermuda. -What? 390 00:24:48,703 --> 00:24:51,387 So I'm stuck up here for the rest of my life? 391 00:24:51,552 --> 00:24:54,585 Have patience. Stoicism is what's called for. 392 00:24:54,752 --> 00:24:57,054 Works wonders. Oh, wait a minute. 393 00:24:57,599 --> 00:25:00,469 There's an emergency button on the wall. You see it? 394 00:25:01,535 --> 00:25:03,029 That's it. Just press it... 395 00:25:03,199 --> 00:25:05,403 ...and all will be well. 396 00:25:07,295 --> 00:25:09,150 There it is. 397 00:25:15,871 --> 00:25:17,781 Careful. Be careful. 398 00:25:20,127 --> 00:25:21,337 That's it. 399 00:25:23,102 --> 00:25:25,175 -Careful. -ls this as far as it will go? 400 00:25:25,343 --> 00:25:26,717 Jump. 401 00:25:28,991 --> 00:25:31,260 -Oh, Christ! -Wonderful. 402 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:34,966 -Very, very impressed. -I thought I was gonna die. 403 00:25:35,134 --> 00:25:37,371 -You will. -So, what the fuck do I do now? 404 00:25:37,535 --> 00:25:39,990 -You open the safe. -Where is it? How do I open it? 405 00:25:40,159 --> 00:25:42,264 Wait a minute. You don't know where it is. 406 00:25:42,431 --> 00:25:44,602 You've got to find it, you've got to look for it. 407 00:25:44,767 --> 00:25:47,865 Where is it? Start in the bedroom. 408 00:25:48,030 --> 00:25:49,940 -How are you feeling? -Okay, all right. 409 00:25:50,110 --> 00:25:52,598 -Excited? -Quite, yes. 410 00:25:52,766 --> 00:25:55,613 You're a cool customer, I like that. Okay. 411 00:25:55,774 --> 00:25:57,662 Open the wardrobe. Open the drawers. 412 00:25:57,822 --> 00:25:58,836 Throw things around. 413 00:25:59,006 --> 00:26:01,592 You're looking for the safe. It's up here somewhere. 414 00:26:01,758 --> 00:26:04,824 Play it for real. Kick the place to death. 415 00:26:04,989 --> 00:26:06,418 You're a desperate man. 416 00:26:07,134 --> 00:26:09,719 Safes are always kept behind paintings, aren't they? 417 00:26:09,886 --> 00:26:11,130 What are you doing? 418 00:26:11,294 --> 00:26:13,683 I'm a desperate man, aren't l? That's what you said. 419 00:26:13,854 --> 00:26:15,763 The man is a barbarian. 420 00:26:15,934 --> 00:26:19,763 -Where's the fucking safe? -Well, open the chest of drawers. 421 00:26:21,150 --> 00:26:22,611 -It's locked. -Kick it to death. 422 00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:30,106 And this is where I hear you. 423 00:26:30,269 --> 00:26:31,546 You hear me? 424 00:26:31,710 --> 00:26:36,019 Yes, I'm asleep in the study. That's where I sleep these days. 425 00:26:36,189 --> 00:26:39,091 I can't sleep in the bed without my wife, you see. 426 00:26:40,445 --> 00:26:43,129 I hear you, I come into the bedroom. 427 00:26:43,293 --> 00:26:45,147 And I find you. 428 00:26:45,309 --> 00:26:46,323 And then? 429 00:26:46,493 --> 00:26:48,380 -I attack you. -How? 430 00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:51,410 Like this. And this. 431 00:26:55,389 --> 00:26:58,520 -That hurt. -So sorry. 432 00:27:01,117 --> 00:27:03,419 Then, you get out your knife. 433 00:27:04,029 --> 00:27:05,916 I don't have a knife. 434 00:27:08,412 --> 00:27:09,786 I do. 435 00:27:09,949 --> 00:27:12,337 -You threaten me with it. -You're threatening me. 436 00:27:12,508 --> 00:27:14,297 No, I'm playing you. This is what you do. 437 00:27:14,460 --> 00:27:16,402 You want to know where the safe is... 438 00:27:16,572 --> 00:27:19,889 ...what the combination is, so you terrorize me with this knife. 439 00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:21,849 -Take it easy. -You can see I'm ruthless. 440 00:27:22,012 --> 00:27:23,834 I'm unpredictable. I'm probably a killer. 441 00:27:23,996 --> 00:27:27,957 And I'm certainly very, very dangerous. 442 00:27:28,124 --> 00:27:30,873 But you? You're obstinate. 443 00:27:31,035 --> 00:27:34,101 -Me or you? -I'm you, you're me, you get it? 444 00:27:34,556 --> 00:27:38,647 Now, the jewels are worth a lot of money. 445 00:27:38,812 --> 00:27:40,056 You won't give in... 446 00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:45,337 ...but I get out my gun. 447 00:27:47,419 --> 00:27:48,794 I'm still you, by the way. 448 00:27:50,107 --> 00:27:53,850 But then, to make it clear that I mean business.... 449 00:27:56,219 --> 00:27:57,332 Bull's-eye. 450 00:27:58,460 --> 00:28:00,150 Bull's-eye. 451 00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:03,929 Finally, you give in. You're so terrified... 452 00:28:04,091 --> 00:28:08,848 ...you show me where the safe is. It is behind that. 453 00:28:09,019 --> 00:28:10,001 Magic. 454 00:28:10,171 --> 00:28:13,171 And you're so frightened, you give me the combination. 455 00:28:13,339 --> 00:28:17,201 19-11-94. Open it. 456 00:28:17,370 --> 00:28:19,061 Wait a minute. Am I me now? 457 00:28:19,227 --> 00:28:21,561 -Or are you me? -No, you're now you. 458 00:28:21,722 --> 00:28:22,867 -You're now you. -Me? 459 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:25,369 -No, no. -Or are you still me? 460 00:28:25,531 --> 00:28:29,273 You're now you. And I'm now me. 461 00:28:30,426 --> 00:28:31,833 Open the safe. 462 00:28:31,994 --> 00:28:34,099 19-11-94. 463 00:28:35,738 --> 00:28:37,015 It was our wedding day. 464 00:28:38,427 --> 00:28:43,249 The 19th of November, 1994. 465 00:28:53,530 --> 00:28:55,286 Jesus. 466 00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:02,870 What do you think? 467 00:29:04,378 --> 00:29:08,207 They're quite beautiful. 468 00:29:08,378 --> 00:29:10,450 Put them in your pocket. 469 00:29:12,122 --> 00:29:14,707 Eight hundred thousand pounds, eh? 470 00:29:15,770 --> 00:29:17,657 That's what I said. 471 00:29:22,873 --> 00:29:24,367 Okay. 472 00:29:27,513 --> 00:29:30,164 So far, so good. 473 00:29:30,329 --> 00:29:32,882 Hey, you'd better give me the address of that fence. 474 00:29:33,049 --> 00:29:35,089 -What fence? -The fence in Amsterdam. 475 00:29:35,257 --> 00:29:36,533 Oh, that fence. 476 00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:39,702 Listen, you put that gun down. 477 00:29:39,865 --> 00:29:41,207 Why? 478 00:29:42,712 --> 00:29:45,941 It's pointing directly at me. I'm not very happy about it. 479 00:29:46,104 --> 00:29:47,631 Why not? 480 00:29:48,824 --> 00:29:51,858 -Look, is this a game? -This is the real game. 481 00:29:54,521 --> 00:29:57,816 The real game has just begun. 482 00:29:58,713 --> 00:30:00,600 What's the real game? 483 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,767 You and me. 484 00:30:03,288 --> 00:30:06,485 You, defenseless. Me, with a gun. 485 00:30:08,248 --> 00:30:10,255 It's the end of the jewelry story, you see. 486 00:30:12,024 --> 00:30:13,485 -Oh, is it? -Yeah. 487 00:30:13,656 --> 00:30:15,729 I enjoyed it, though. 488 00:30:16,151 --> 00:30:17,133 I'm not enjoying this. 489 00:30:17,304 --> 00:30:18,646 I don't blame you. 490 00:30:20,888 --> 00:30:22,262 What's it all about? 491 00:30:22,423 --> 00:30:26,384 Oh, come on. Buck your ideas up. 492 00:30:26,775 --> 00:30:30,572 You really didn't think I was gonna let you have my wife and the jewels? 493 00:30:32,983 --> 00:30:34,838 You're joking. 494 00:30:36,344 --> 00:30:38,166 You've been leading me up the garden. 495 00:30:38,328 --> 00:30:39,702 Right up. 496 00:30:40,983 --> 00:30:42,871 Stand on the bed. 497 00:30:54,711 --> 00:30:56,369 Listen. Wait a minute. 498 00:30:56,535 --> 00:31:00,309 Before you do anything, there's something I must tell you. 499 00:31:01,751 --> 00:31:04,206 -What? -Maggie respects you. 500 00:31:04,375 --> 00:31:05,684 -Really? -Yes. 501 00:31:05,847 --> 00:31:07,952 She often says you're a man of true integrity... 502 00:31:08,119 --> 00:31:10,093 ...that you're a really decent guy. 503 00:31:10,262 --> 00:31:12,848 She's right. I'm a really decent guy. 504 00:31:13,014 --> 00:31:14,541 -I believe it. -She's quite right. 505 00:31:14,710 --> 00:31:16,652 I'm a really decent guy. 506 00:31:16,823 --> 00:31:18,230 I know you are. I know you are. 507 00:31:18,391 --> 00:31:20,333 And that's what she often says. 508 00:31:20,502 --> 00:31:22,291 You're-- She admires your mind. 509 00:31:22,454 --> 00:31:24,527 -She admires my mind? -Yes. 510 00:31:24,694 --> 00:31:26,799 -Your mind excites her. -Sexually? 511 00:31:26,966 --> 00:31:29,170 Very. Your mind excites your wife sexually. 512 00:31:29,334 --> 00:31:31,341 -What about my body? -What about it? 513 00:31:31,510 --> 00:31:34,227 Well, what does she say about my body? 514 00:31:36,150 --> 00:31:38,932 Do you know, I don't think she's ever mentioned it. 515 00:31:39,094 --> 00:31:40,949 You're a prick. 516 00:31:43,830 --> 00:31:46,317 -Where does my prick come into it? -I can guess where it comes in. 517 00:31:46,486 --> 00:31:49,039 But I wasn't talking about your prick. 518 00:31:49,269 --> 00:31:52,531 -I was calling you a prick. -Oh, thanks. 519 00:31:52,694 --> 00:31:54,450 But you know what you are now, though? 520 00:31:54,614 --> 00:31:55,726 What? 521 00:31:55,893 --> 00:31:58,227 -You're a dead duck. -Really? 522 00:31:58,645 --> 00:32:01,744 This is the way the story goes to the police. 523 00:32:01,909 --> 00:32:04,724 I find you in my house, you threaten me. 524 00:32:04,885 --> 00:32:06,576 You open the safe, you take the jewels. 525 00:32:06,742 --> 00:32:08,083 You put them in your pocket. 526 00:32:08,245 --> 00:32:11,344 I manage to grab the gun while you're looking at the jewels. 527 00:32:11,509 --> 00:32:13,778 There's a struggle. The gun goes off. 528 00:32:14,261 --> 00:32:16,301 Suddenly, I realize you're dead. 529 00:32:16,469 --> 00:32:18,291 You're gonna shoot me. 530 00:32:18,453 --> 00:32:20,144 -What do you think? -Why? 531 00:32:20,309 --> 00:32:23,756 I planned all this from the word go. 532 00:32:23,925 --> 00:32:29,588 I've always longed for an intimate chat with a hairdresser. 533 00:32:29,748 --> 00:32:34,091 Especially a hairdresser who is fucking my wife. 534 00:32:34,261 --> 00:32:35,602 I'm not a hairdresser! 535 00:32:35,764 --> 00:32:39,441 My wife is mine! She belongs to me! 536 00:32:39,604 --> 00:32:42,866 And I'm her husband! 537 00:32:43,829 --> 00:32:47,025 And what you've done is this. 538 00:32:48,468 --> 00:32:53,170 You've invited yourself to attend your own death. 539 00:32:54,292 --> 00:32:55,917 Please. 540 00:32:56,084 --> 00:32:57,775 No, don't do it. Please don't shoot me. 541 00:32:57,940 --> 00:33:02,282 Please don't shoot me, please! I'll just get in my car and go, okay? 542 00:33:02,452 --> 00:33:04,394 That's all. You'll never see me again. 543 00:33:04,851 --> 00:33:05,899 You're crazy. 544 00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:08,369 No, you're not crazy. You just got things wrong. 545 00:33:08,532 --> 00:33:10,474 I don't want your wife. I hate women. 546 00:33:10,644 --> 00:33:12,553 You hear me? I hate women. I hate your wife! 547 00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:15,342 You've absolutely no reason to be jealous. 548 00:33:16,083 --> 00:33:19,400 Women are not my scene. I'd rather do it with a dog or a goat. 549 00:33:19,571 --> 00:33:22,702 Or a boy I knew at school. His name was Dooley. 550 00:33:22,867 --> 00:33:25,169 I called him Dolores. I hate women! 551 00:33:25,683 --> 00:33:28,530 Honest. God's honor. 552 00:33:28,692 --> 00:33:30,153 Do you believe in God? 553 00:36:03,727 --> 00:36:05,102 Just shut up. 554 00:36:07,792 --> 00:36:10,574 I'm asking the questions, not you. 555 00:36:11,311 --> 00:36:14,573 -How long have you known him? -I don't know him. I've never met him. 556 00:36:18,191 --> 00:36:20,428 What are you? A joker? 557 00:37:04,686 --> 00:37:06,115 Yes? 558 00:37:07,886 --> 00:37:09,609 Andrew Wyke? 559 00:37:09,774 --> 00:37:11,268 Yes. 560 00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:13,609 Detective Inspector Black. 561 00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:16,425 New Scotland Yard. Eddie Black. 562 00:37:18,126 --> 00:37:19,981 I'd like a word with you. 563 00:37:20,494 --> 00:37:21,868 A word? 564 00:37:22,029 --> 00:37:23,589 That's right. 565 00:37:24,334 --> 00:37:25,959 What about? 566 00:37:28,653 --> 00:37:30,279 Can I come in? 567 00:37:31,662 --> 00:37:33,865 Yes. Yes, of course. 568 00:37:35,757 --> 00:37:36,740 Like a drink? 569 00:37:36,909 --> 00:37:38,819 Got any beer? 570 00:37:39,341 --> 00:37:41,730 Beer? Yes. 571 00:37:41,901 --> 00:37:43,210 You're the writer. 572 00:37:44,077 --> 00:37:46,182 You write crime books. 573 00:37:46,349 --> 00:37:48,323 That's right. 574 00:37:48,493 --> 00:37:50,632 I've read a couple. 575 00:37:51,085 --> 00:37:52,972 Right on the button. 576 00:37:53,133 --> 00:37:55,369 Oh, that's a great compliment. 577 00:37:56,781 --> 00:37:59,334 How do you know so much about it? 578 00:37:59,501 --> 00:38:00,711 What? 579 00:38:00,877 --> 00:38:02,371 Villainy. 580 00:38:02,541 --> 00:38:04,745 Crime. Horror. 581 00:38:06,412 --> 00:38:08,235 Imagination. 582 00:38:09,580 --> 00:38:11,140 Imagination. 583 00:38:11,308 --> 00:38:12,552 Clever. 584 00:38:12,716 --> 00:38:14,571 I do my best. 585 00:38:15,564 --> 00:38:17,637 -Cheers. -Cheers. 586 00:38:23,084 --> 00:38:25,931 I see you got a broken window up there. 587 00:38:27,660 --> 00:38:29,732 Tropical storm the other night. 588 00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:32,169 Bit of a hurricane, terrifying. 589 00:38:32,332 --> 00:38:35,049 A great branch broke off a big tree... 590 00:38:35,212 --> 00:38:37,633 ...and flew through the air through the skylight... 591 00:38:38,156 --> 00:38:40,011 ...as you can see. 592 00:38:40,172 --> 00:38:41,416 Act of God. 593 00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:43,205 Had it in for you, did he? 594 00:38:43,371 --> 00:38:45,193 -Who? -God. 595 00:38:45,355 --> 00:38:47,460 Oh, yes, he's always been a vicious bastard. 596 00:38:47,627 --> 00:38:49,034 You know what God's trouble is? 597 00:38:49,195 --> 00:38:51,050 -What? -He has no father. 598 00:38:51,211 --> 00:38:54,506 He has no family roots. He's rootless. 599 00:38:54,667 --> 00:38:58,213 Nowhere to hang his hat, poor bugger. I pity him. 600 00:38:58,379 --> 00:39:01,379 That's a very interesting philosophical speculation. 601 00:39:01,547 --> 00:39:04,198 Wait a minute. Aren't you a well-known detective? 602 00:39:04,363 --> 00:39:06,218 No. 603 00:39:06,379 --> 00:39:10,273 Not me, mate. You're thinking of another bloke. 604 00:39:10,923 --> 00:39:13,989 Haven't I seen your picture in the newspaper? 605 00:39:15,531 --> 00:39:17,832 Do you want to know my opinion of the newspapers? 606 00:39:17,995 --> 00:39:19,489 What? 607 00:39:21,066 --> 00:39:24,328 Journalists are a bunch of prick-teasing cocksuckers. 608 00:39:24,747 --> 00:39:25,892 No. 609 00:39:26,059 --> 00:39:27,237 That's right. 610 00:39:27,402 --> 00:39:30,402 I'm sorry, but isn't that a contradiction in terms? 611 00:39:30,570 --> 00:39:32,228 Is it? 612 00:39:34,443 --> 00:39:35,653 So you're not well-known? 613 00:39:35,818 --> 00:39:37,825 No, I'm a common-or-garden copper. 614 00:39:37,994 --> 00:39:41,507 I just catch sex criminals, perverts... 615 00:39:41,675 --> 00:39:43,049 ...homicidal maniacs. 616 00:39:43,210 --> 00:39:46,406 And what do you do with them when you catch them? 617 00:39:46,570 --> 00:39:49,156 I generally cut their balls off. 618 00:39:50,698 --> 00:39:52,421 I see. 619 00:39:59,977 --> 00:40:03,206 So how can I help you? 620 00:40:03,369 --> 00:40:05,736 Yes, I think you can help me. I think you can. 621 00:40:05,897 --> 00:40:07,207 How? 622 00:40:07,370 --> 00:40:08,995 I'm looking into a disappearance. 623 00:40:09,161 --> 00:40:10,143 Disappearance? 624 00:40:10,314 --> 00:40:13,445 Man called Tindle. Milo Tindle. 625 00:40:13,609 --> 00:40:17,057 Sorry, I didn't get the name. What was it? 626 00:40:17,225 --> 00:40:18,752 Tindle. 627 00:40:19,657 --> 00:40:22,079 Tindle. Tindle.... 628 00:40:23,306 --> 00:40:24,832 What about him? 629 00:40:25,001 --> 00:40:26,343 Do you know him? 630 00:40:26,505 --> 00:40:28,839 Know him? Absolutely not. 631 00:40:29,001 --> 00:40:30,725 -You mean you've never met him? -Never. 632 00:40:30,889 --> 00:40:32,230 Never even heard of him. 633 00:40:32,393 --> 00:40:33,954 -That's funny. -Why? 634 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,804 Well, he was staying at the Red Lion in the village... 635 00:40:36,969 --> 00:40:38,725 ...where he mentioned to the landlord... 636 00:40:38,889 --> 00:40:40,863 ...he was coming to see you three nights ago. 637 00:40:41,033 --> 00:40:42,178 He hasn't been seen since. 638 00:40:42,345 --> 00:40:44,996 His bag is still in his room, shaving kit, all that. 639 00:40:45,161 --> 00:40:46,240 He was coming to see me? 640 00:40:46,408 --> 00:40:48,034 That's right. 641 00:40:48,201 --> 00:40:49,608 He mentioned it to the landlord? 642 00:40:49,769 --> 00:40:52,005 Why would he mention such a thing to the landlord? 643 00:40:52,168 --> 00:40:55,202 Well, you're a famous writer and you're well known in the district. 644 00:40:55,368 --> 00:40:56,994 So how can you help me on this? 645 00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,461 No one came to see me. I've no idea who this man is. 646 00:40:59,625 --> 00:41:03,007 And I know no one called Tindle. 647 00:41:03,176 --> 00:41:04,964 You don't, eh? 648 00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:15,267 What are you? A joker? 649 00:41:15,432 --> 00:41:16,861 What do you mean? 650 00:41:17,032 --> 00:41:19,585 I mean you're pretty quick on your feet. 651 00:41:19,751 --> 00:41:22,653 You should have been a ballet dancer. 652 00:41:22,824 --> 00:41:25,955 I can just see you doing pirouettes. 653 00:41:26,983 --> 00:41:29,885 -Ever worn a pair of tights? -Not me. 654 00:41:32,743 --> 00:41:34,467 They'd suit you. 655 00:41:36,008 --> 00:41:37,185 Nice house. 656 00:41:37,351 --> 00:41:38,758 Thanks. 657 00:41:39,655 --> 00:41:42,022 -Design it yourself? -It's 18th-century. 658 00:41:42,183 --> 00:41:45,117 No, no, I meant this. The inside. 659 00:41:45,287 --> 00:41:46,269 That was my wife. 660 00:41:46,439 --> 00:41:48,741 Oh, your wife. Is she here, by the way? 661 00:41:48,903 --> 00:41:49,917 No. 662 00:41:50,087 --> 00:41:51,581 Popped up to London? 663 00:41:51,751 --> 00:41:53,213 She's not here. 664 00:41:53,383 --> 00:41:56,001 She's an interior decorator, then? 665 00:41:56,167 --> 00:41:57,629 Something like that. 666 00:42:00,039 --> 00:42:02,308 It's a great gift, isn't it? 667 00:42:03,623 --> 00:42:05,695 You're a lucky man. 668 00:42:07,271 --> 00:42:09,093 You got an ashtray? 669 00:42:15,046 --> 00:42:17,152 I'm ready for another beer. 670 00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:25,247 A man was passing your house three nights ago. 671 00:42:25,414 --> 00:42:27,586 He said he heard shots. 672 00:42:27,751 --> 00:42:29,277 Passed my house? 673 00:42:29,446 --> 00:42:32,643 How could he do that? It's private property. 674 00:42:32,806 --> 00:42:35,140 He were taking a shortcut. 675 00:42:35,302 --> 00:42:36,611 I think he's a poacher. 676 00:42:36,774 --> 00:42:39,141 Anyway, says he heard shots. 677 00:42:39,302 --> 00:42:41,058 What kind of shots? 678 00:42:41,222 --> 00:42:42,204 Gunshots. 679 00:42:42,374 --> 00:42:44,064 -Fantasy. -Really? 680 00:42:44,229 --> 00:42:46,269 Bullshit. Codswallop. 681 00:42:46,438 --> 00:42:49,121 Who is this man? Are you sure he exists? 682 00:42:49,285 --> 00:42:51,489 Oh, he exists, all right. 683 00:42:51,653 --> 00:42:52,766 By the way, cheers. 684 00:42:52,933 --> 00:42:54,460 Cheers. 685 00:42:58,693 --> 00:43:01,148 I do want to ask you one more question. 686 00:43:09,957 --> 00:43:11,331 Ask. 687 00:43:11,493 --> 00:43:14,144 You do know your wife's living in London with another man? 688 00:43:16,261 --> 00:43:18,148 That is my business. 689 00:43:18,309 --> 00:43:20,960 My private life is my business. 690 00:43:21,125 --> 00:43:22,619 Do you know the name of this man? 691 00:43:22,789 --> 00:43:25,155 Why should I answer these questions? 692 00:43:26,949 --> 00:43:29,818 You don't have to, but you'd be better off if you did. 693 00:43:34,212 --> 00:43:36,601 I don't know the man's name. 694 00:43:37,028 --> 00:43:38,784 I never asked. 695 00:43:40,612 --> 00:43:44,540 So you do admit that your wife's living in London with another man? 696 00:43:46,148 --> 00:43:48,832 Yes. Yes. 697 00:43:48,996 --> 00:43:50,621 So what? 698 00:43:52,452 --> 00:43:56,675 Well, I can tell you the man's name. 699 00:44:02,148 --> 00:44:04,090 It's Tindle. 700 00:44:04,644 --> 00:44:06,051 Milo Tindle. 701 00:44:10,852 --> 00:44:13,186 -ls it? -Yeah. 702 00:44:14,308 --> 00:44:16,512 The bloke who's disappeared. 703 00:44:16,676 --> 00:44:19,578 The bloke who said he was coming to see you. 704 00:44:19,748 --> 00:44:22,911 We found this note in his room. 705 00:44:23,075 --> 00:44:24,831 At the pub. 706 00:44:25,443 --> 00:44:27,996 "l look forward to meeting you. 707 00:44:28,163 --> 00:44:31,196 Come to the house Friday, 6:30. 708 00:44:31,395 --> 00:44:32,988 Wyke." 709 00:44:33,539 --> 00:44:35,808 Is this your handwriting? 710 00:44:36,995 --> 00:44:40,573 -It is. -Do you remember writing this note? 711 00:44:41,123 --> 00:44:42,432 How could I forget? 712 00:44:42,595 --> 00:44:44,570 You forgot earlier. 713 00:44:44,739 --> 00:44:47,324 You said you didn't know him. 714 00:44:47,491 --> 00:44:50,044 You said you'd never met him. 715 00:45:08,354 --> 00:45:09,783 I was lying. 716 00:45:15,426 --> 00:45:17,728 Lying to the police. 717 00:45:18,722 --> 00:45:20,894 That will get you nowhere. 718 00:45:24,706 --> 00:45:26,811 I don't understand you, mate, honest. 719 00:45:26,978 --> 00:45:29,792 You're a clever man. You write clever books. 720 00:45:29,953 --> 00:45:32,255 But you've made a balls-up of this one, haven't you? 721 00:45:32,706 --> 00:45:33,883 Have l? 722 00:45:34,049 --> 00:45:37,246 Tindle came to see you three nights ago. 723 00:45:37,410 --> 00:45:39,744 -I knew him as Tindolini. -Oh, I see. 724 00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:41,628 -He had an Italian father. -Get away. 725 00:45:41,793 --> 00:45:44,379 A traditional Italian hairdressing family. 726 00:45:44,546 --> 00:45:47,841 -ls he a hairdresser himself? -I think he is. 727 00:45:48,001 --> 00:45:50,554 He didn't come all the way here to do your hair, did he? 728 00:45:50,721 --> 00:45:52,892 Not at all, not at all. 729 00:45:53,985 --> 00:45:57,662 So, what did you two do when you got together? 730 00:46:00,321 --> 00:46:01,728 We played a game. 731 00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:04,797 -A game? -A game with a knife and a gun. 732 00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,422 -A lethal game? -No. 733 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:08,441 Just a bit of fun, that's all. 734 00:46:08,609 --> 00:46:10,943 Okay, a bit of fun. 735 00:46:11,105 --> 00:46:12,861 So he came to see you. 736 00:46:13,025 --> 00:46:16,341 You played a game with a knife and a gun. 737 00:46:16,513 --> 00:46:19,480 Three shots were fired, then he disappeared. 738 00:46:19,649 --> 00:46:20,794 So where is he? 739 00:46:20,961 --> 00:46:23,895 -Probably cuddling my wife. -That's the one thing he's not doing. 740 00:46:24,288 --> 00:46:25,717 -How do you know? -I've seen her. 741 00:46:25,888 --> 00:46:27,098 He was nowhere in sight. 742 00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,419 No. She's an anxious woman. 743 00:46:32,064 --> 00:46:34,366 She knew he was coming to see you, you see. 744 00:46:34,528 --> 00:46:37,910 In fact, she insisted that he come to see you... 745 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:39,967 ...as I know you know. 746 00:46:42,688 --> 00:46:45,176 She thinks you may have killed him. 747 00:46:45,631 --> 00:46:48,599 She thinks you're round the bend. 748 00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,578 She thinks you're a very dangerous man. 749 00:46:51,744 --> 00:46:53,021 Me? She's joking. 750 00:46:54,720 --> 00:46:57,437 So tell me, between ourselves... 751 00:46:57,919 --> 00:46:59,643 ...did you kill him? 752 00:47:01,855 --> 00:47:04,222 I'll tell you exactly what I did. 753 00:47:04,383 --> 00:47:06,522 I pretended to kill him. 754 00:47:06,688 --> 00:47:10,582 I shot him with a blank. I frightened the shit out of him. 755 00:47:11,136 --> 00:47:14,169 Your man was right. Your spy, whoever he was. 756 00:47:14,335 --> 00:47:15,796 There were three shots. 757 00:47:15,967 --> 00:47:18,934 The first two were real. The third one was blank. 758 00:47:20,095 --> 00:47:23,542 He was terrified. When I shot him, he fainted. 759 00:47:23,711 --> 00:47:26,231 When he came round I gave him a drink, pat on the bum... 760 00:47:26,847 --> 00:47:30,938 ...he left the house, his tail, if you want to call it that, between his legs. 761 00:47:31,103 --> 00:47:32,630 And I haven't seen him since. 762 00:47:32,799 --> 00:47:35,319 You gave him a pat on the bum? 763 00:47:35,487 --> 00:47:36,665 Metaphorically. 764 00:47:36,830 --> 00:47:39,732 You gave him a metaphorical pat on the bum? 765 00:47:39,902 --> 00:47:41,560 -Sure. -How did he take it? 766 00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:43,515 -What? -The pat. 767 00:47:44,062 --> 00:47:48,318 He was fine. He told me that it was game, set and match to me. 768 00:47:49,118 --> 00:47:51,988 So this guy had a sense of humor, is that what you're saying? 769 00:47:52,158 --> 00:47:54,875 Oh, yes. He left the house with a twinkle in his eye. 770 00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:58,072 So tell me, what was the point of all this? 771 00:47:58,238 --> 00:47:59,252 Humiliation. 772 00:47:59,422 --> 00:48:01,080 It's nice to see your wife's lover... 773 00:48:01,246 --> 00:48:03,996 ...a shivering, frightened, fucking wreck in front of you. 774 00:48:04,158 --> 00:48:05,914 As a matter of fact, I liked him. 775 00:48:06,366 --> 00:48:07,708 I thought he was attractive. 776 00:48:07,870 --> 00:48:09,779 I thought we could have become good friends. 777 00:48:10,269 --> 00:48:14,906 The shortest way to a man's heart, as I'm sure you know, is humiliation. 778 00:48:15,069 --> 00:48:17,436 It binds you together. 779 00:48:19,806 --> 00:48:22,489 You found him attractive? 780 00:48:22,653 --> 00:48:26,330 I put myself in my wife's shoes, in a manner of speaking. 781 00:48:26,493 --> 00:48:30,071 I was trying to find out what attracted her to him. 782 00:48:32,093 --> 00:48:33,849 -And did you? -Oh, yes. 783 00:48:34,013 --> 00:48:36,730 He was really terribly sweet. 784 00:48:36,893 --> 00:48:40,209 -I could see why she fancied him. -I could see why he fancies her. 785 00:48:41,629 --> 00:48:43,669 -Really? -Found her very tasty myself. 786 00:48:44,317 --> 00:48:46,488 -ls that so? -Oh, yes. 787 00:48:46,653 --> 00:48:48,987 Sumptuous. Ready for action. 788 00:48:50,877 --> 00:48:53,561 I mean, I'm an experienced detective. 789 00:48:53,725 --> 00:48:56,626 So guess what I detected. 790 00:48:56,796 --> 00:48:57,974 What? 791 00:48:58,141 --> 00:49:01,370 That she's in love with her own body. 792 00:49:01,533 --> 00:49:04,118 Makes her dizzy with excitement. 793 00:49:07,741 --> 00:49:09,563 You detected all this in five minutes? 794 00:49:09,725 --> 00:49:12,343 Well, 35. Perhaps even 45. 795 00:49:12,508 --> 00:49:16,217 Well, let's call it 55 or even a little bit longer. 796 00:49:16,668 --> 00:49:17,650 You stayed for tea? 797 00:49:17,820 --> 00:49:19,707 And cakes. 798 00:49:20,956 --> 00:49:22,068 Yeah. 799 00:49:27,132 --> 00:49:28,212 Yeah. 800 00:49:28,380 --> 00:49:29,940 Must be funny for you to know... 801 00:49:30,108 --> 00:49:33,686 ...your own wife's getting a going-over from another man on a regular basis. 802 00:49:33,852 --> 00:49:35,226 Going-over? I don't follow. 803 00:49:35,388 --> 00:49:36,665 You don't? 804 00:49:36,828 --> 00:49:38,322 Not a phrase I'm familiar with. 805 00:49:38,491 --> 00:49:41,720 -Means being fucked. -You mean like in sexual intercourse? 806 00:49:41,884 --> 00:49:45,113 Yes, the old one-two. In like a lion, out like a lamb. 807 00:49:45,276 --> 00:49:47,796 I must say, you have a great gift for language. 808 00:49:47,964 --> 00:49:49,174 Did you learn it at school? 809 00:49:49,340 --> 00:49:51,063 The hard school. Family life. 810 00:49:51,260 --> 00:49:53,878 -But you keep cheerful. -You've got it, I keep cheerful. 811 00:49:54,043 --> 00:49:56,432 I've got an optimistic nature. 812 00:49:56,603 --> 00:49:59,025 You got to when you're a policeman. Otherwise, you'd go mad. 813 00:49:59,195 --> 00:50:02,456 No, I'll tell you what keeps me going. 814 00:50:04,059 --> 00:50:07,539 The chase. The thrill of the hunt and the sudden shafts of bright light. 815 00:50:08,186 --> 00:50:12,921 For instance, when I was talking to your wife.... 816 00:50:13,755 --> 00:50:16,089 Very attractive woman. 817 00:50:17,627 --> 00:50:19,732 Wonderful legs. 818 00:50:23,194 --> 00:50:25,812 She was crossing them at the time, I remember. 819 00:50:25,978 --> 00:50:31,313 She suddenly said you had a murderous nature. 820 00:50:33,435 --> 00:50:35,856 Now, that really made my nose twitch. 821 00:50:36,026 --> 00:50:37,553 Itch? 822 00:50:39,066 --> 00:50:41,684 Twitch, mate. 823 00:50:42,106 --> 00:50:43,797 Twitch. 824 00:50:44,378 --> 00:50:47,127 So I'm looking at you and I'm wondering... 825 00:50:47,290 --> 00:50:49,462 ...what have you done with the body? 826 00:50:50,810 --> 00:50:52,468 Where's the body? 827 00:50:53,209 --> 00:50:55,151 Come on, I need to know. 828 00:50:55,610 --> 00:50:57,912 Where's the body? What have you done with the body? 829 00:50:58,074 --> 00:50:59,056 There's no body. 830 00:50:59,225 --> 00:51:01,135 Don't fuck about! 831 00:51:01,306 --> 00:51:03,061 Don't bullshit me. I won't stand for it. 832 00:51:03,225 --> 00:51:05,265 Where is it? In the house or did you shift it? 833 00:51:05,433 --> 00:51:07,343 There is no body! 834 00:51:15,641 --> 00:51:18,576 Here, look at this. You got holes in your walls. 835 00:51:21,401 --> 00:51:24,215 They're bullet holes. Live bullet holes. 836 00:51:24,378 --> 00:51:26,417 I fired two live bullets to set up the trick... 837 00:51:26,585 --> 00:51:28,112 ...and one blank to complete it. 838 00:51:28,281 --> 00:51:30,670 It was a game, I told you. I played it to the hilt. 839 00:51:30,841 --> 00:51:33,459 It's not worth playing unless you play it to the hilt. 840 00:51:33,624 --> 00:51:35,729 -The third shot was a blank? -That's right. 841 00:51:35,897 --> 00:51:36,879 -What's that? -What? 842 00:51:37,049 --> 00:51:39,024 Blood. Dried blood! 843 00:51:39,192 --> 00:51:41,364 Some of it's not even dried. It's still damp. 844 00:51:41,529 --> 00:51:43,317 -That's impossible. -That's blood, chum. 845 00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:45,368 -Whose blood is it? -It's impossible. 846 00:51:45,529 --> 00:51:46,958 It was a game. It was a blank. 847 00:51:47,128 --> 00:51:49,495 No, it was a game with real bullets and real blood. 848 00:51:49,656 --> 00:51:50,900 This is a carve-up. 849 00:51:51,064 --> 00:51:54,708 Let's see what else is new around here. 850 00:51:55,256 --> 00:51:57,012 Hello, what's this? 851 00:51:57,817 --> 00:52:01,646 We've got a shirt, jacket and trousers in the back of your cupboard. 852 00:52:01,817 --> 00:52:04,500 Very negligent of you, mate, unless they're not yours. 853 00:52:04,664 --> 00:52:08,461 No, I don't think they're yours. I think they belong to Tindle. 854 00:52:08,632 --> 00:52:11,283 You say he left the house after you shot him. 855 00:52:11,448 --> 00:52:13,270 -Yes. -Naked? 856 00:52:13,432 --> 00:52:14,839 I don't know how those got there. 857 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,302 So you made him strip before you shot him? 858 00:52:17,464 --> 00:52:19,373 Part of the humiliation, was it? 859 00:52:19,544 --> 00:52:21,006 No. The thing is this. 860 00:52:21,175 --> 00:52:24,077 It might have started as a game, but it got out of hand. 861 00:52:24,248 --> 00:52:26,485 The third shot was live! 862 00:52:26,648 --> 00:52:29,964 It killed him. So where's the body? 863 00:52:30,135 --> 00:52:32,143 I didn't kill him! He's alive! 864 00:52:32,312 --> 00:52:34,384 Bollocks. You're a joker, all right. 865 00:52:34,552 --> 00:52:36,013 A real joker. 866 00:52:36,183 --> 00:52:37,906 Come on, we're off to the station. 867 00:52:38,071 --> 00:52:40,559 -There's something very wrong here. -Hey, dead right. 868 00:52:40,727 --> 00:52:43,891 I'll tell you what you are. You're fucked. 869 00:52:44,343 --> 00:52:45,325 Jesus Christ. 870 00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:47,666 Don't struggle, chum. I'll have you for breakfast. 871 00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,108 There's something wrong here. 872 00:52:49,271 --> 00:52:53,068 You're up shit creek, Wyke. You're up shit creek without a paddle. 873 00:52:56,279 --> 00:52:59,628 Look at you. All aquiver. 874 00:53:00,407 --> 00:53:02,479 Who's the dead duck? 875 00:53:06,038 --> 00:53:07,413 Jesus Christ. 876 00:53:10,838 --> 00:53:14,450 You're the dead duck. 877 00:53:17,047 --> 00:53:22,611 I just sucked you in and blew you out in little bubbles. 878 00:53:22,774 --> 00:53:24,181 -It's you. -It's me, all right. 879 00:53:24,342 --> 00:53:26,644 You bastard. You stinking bastard. 880 00:53:26,806 --> 00:53:28,115 Just a little game, Andrew. 881 00:53:28,278 --> 00:53:30,165 -Just a little game. -You shit. 882 00:53:30,326 --> 00:53:32,944 -I thought it might amuse you. -You're a total shit. 883 00:53:33,110 --> 00:53:34,387 I know I am. 884 00:53:34,550 --> 00:53:38,063 -But you're also a genius. -I know that too. 885 00:53:40,438 --> 00:53:42,642 When did you do this? The clothes in the wardrobe? 886 00:53:42,806 --> 00:53:45,326 -The blood? -The blood belongs to a pig's liver. 887 00:53:45,494 --> 00:53:47,567 But when did you do it? How did you do it? 888 00:53:47,733 --> 00:53:50,581 I did it last night. I used that ladder. I heard you snoring. 889 00:53:50,742 --> 00:53:53,709 Does Maggie know about this? Your detective, was it her idea? 890 00:53:53,878 --> 00:53:56,212 -How much does she know? -She knows nothing about it. 891 00:53:56,373 --> 00:53:59,373 Entirely my own idea. 892 00:53:59,541 --> 00:54:02,410 This is a game between us, old boy. 893 00:54:02,581 --> 00:54:05,330 Between you and me. 894 00:54:05,493 --> 00:54:07,860 Don't forget, I'm half Italian. 895 00:54:08,021 --> 00:54:09,614 We go in for revenge. 896 00:54:22,037 --> 00:54:26,259 After all, you frightened the life out of me deliberately. 897 00:54:26,420 --> 00:54:29,170 You fired two live bullets into the wall... 898 00:54:29,333 --> 00:54:32,911 ...and then you pointed the gun at me. 899 00:54:33,077 --> 00:54:35,182 And then you fired. 900 00:54:38,868 --> 00:54:40,429 I don't like guns. 901 00:54:41,717 --> 00:54:43,342 They kill you. 902 00:54:46,484 --> 00:54:48,077 Okay. 903 00:54:48,245 --> 00:54:50,666 So, what does this make the score? 904 00:54:51,668 --> 00:54:53,610 You've had your revenge. 905 00:54:53,780 --> 00:54:57,806 So, what do you reckon? 906 00:54:58,260 --> 00:55:00,147 One set all? 907 00:55:00,627 --> 00:55:02,896 No, no, you're way ahead. 908 00:55:03,668 --> 00:55:07,824 I only teased you with my inspector, gave you a few goose pimples. 909 00:55:08,756 --> 00:55:10,283 But you frightened me to death. 910 00:55:12,436 --> 00:55:14,857 Did you really think I was going to kill you? 911 00:55:15,027 --> 00:55:18,507 You fainted, you see. It was a blank. 912 00:55:19,604 --> 00:55:22,603 I may be three games up in the second set. 913 00:55:22,771 --> 00:55:23,753 If I had killed you... 914 00:55:23,923 --> 00:55:27,119 ...I'd have to bury the body in the garden or somewhere. 915 00:55:27,283 --> 00:55:28,265 Too exhausting. 916 00:55:28,435 --> 00:55:29,809 But you won the first, 6-love. 917 00:55:34,355 --> 00:55:36,777 So we're a long way from one set all. 918 00:55:43,155 --> 00:55:46,057 By the way, I spoke to Maggie. 919 00:55:46,227 --> 00:55:49,042 I told her all about you. 920 00:55:49,203 --> 00:55:50,610 She loved it. 921 00:55:51,699 --> 00:55:52,844 Loved what? 922 00:55:53,330 --> 00:55:55,981 That I frightened the life out of you. 923 00:55:56,147 --> 00:55:57,423 That you pissed your pants. 924 00:55:59,346 --> 00:56:01,735 And that you actually fainted. 925 00:56:01,907 --> 00:56:04,754 She said to me, "You mean he actually fainted?" 926 00:56:04,914 --> 00:56:07,565 I said, "Dead out, he was scared shitless. 927 00:56:08,946 --> 00:56:10,407 Went out like a light." 928 00:56:11,826 --> 00:56:15,819 She laughed so much, I thought she was gonna burst. 929 00:56:20,082 --> 00:56:23,857 Oh, incidentally, she's coming back to me. 930 00:56:24,497 --> 00:56:25,774 Oh, is she? 931 00:56:25,938 --> 00:56:27,596 Yes, that's right. 932 00:56:27,762 --> 00:56:29,453 You know what she said about you? 933 00:56:29,618 --> 00:56:30,632 What? 934 00:56:30,802 --> 00:56:32,046 She said: 935 00:56:32,210 --> 00:56:35,471 "Faint heart never won fair lady." 936 00:56:37,841 --> 00:56:38,954 Is that a fact? 937 00:56:39,121 --> 00:56:40,365 Yeah. 938 00:56:42,130 --> 00:56:46,156 Listen, I want to show you something. 939 00:56:46,609 --> 00:56:49,773 Go into your study and sit down. 940 00:56:51,889 --> 00:56:53,383 Go into my study? 941 00:56:54,833 --> 00:56:56,938 And sit down. 942 00:57:00,305 --> 00:57:03,152 -What are you doing? -It's late at night. 943 00:57:03,313 --> 00:57:05,549 You're reading a book under a lamp. Read something. 944 00:57:05,713 --> 00:57:08,168 -What's going on? -Read a book. 945 00:57:08,337 --> 00:57:10,639 It's late at night. You're reading a book. 946 00:57:10,801 --> 00:57:12,808 You hear something. You look up. 947 00:57:12,977 --> 00:57:14,700 It's me jumping off the ladder. 948 00:57:14,865 --> 00:57:16,425 You see me with this gun. 949 00:57:16,592 --> 00:57:20,454 You're caught like a rat in a trap. You stare at the gun, you're paralyzed. 950 00:57:20,625 --> 00:57:21,901 I've come for the jewels. 951 00:57:22,064 --> 00:57:23,722 -Where is the safe? -What jewels? 952 00:57:23,888 --> 00:57:25,197 The jewels. Where's the safe? 953 00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:26,735 -You know where it is. -I don't. 954 00:57:26,896 --> 00:57:28,936 -You don't? -Don't fuck me about, I mean it. 955 00:57:29,104 --> 00:57:30,566 Get up. 956 00:57:31,344 --> 00:57:33,645 You think this gun isn't real? 957 00:57:36,208 --> 00:57:38,030 Where is it? 958 00:57:38,768 --> 00:57:41,583 -Upstairs. -Well, let's go upstairs. 959 00:57:42,255 --> 00:57:47,340 Get up these stairs or I'll ram this gun right up your ass. 960 00:57:47,536 --> 00:57:50,700 -The safe is behind the fish tank. -How am I gonna get to it? 961 00:57:50,864 --> 00:57:53,384 Well, you press the button and the button moves the tank. 962 00:57:53,552 --> 00:57:55,723 Then press it. 963 00:57:55,888 --> 00:57:58,343 It's not working. It's out of ord-- 964 00:57:59,695 --> 00:58:01,124 Are you a maniac? You're crazy. 965 00:58:01,296 --> 00:58:03,881 -Open it. -I changed the combination yesterday. 966 00:58:04,047 --> 00:58:06,436 -What is it? -I forgot. I can't remember. 967 00:58:06,608 --> 00:58:08,582 -Remember. -It's the truth. I can't remember. 968 00:58:08,751 --> 00:58:09,766 Remember! 969 00:58:12,751 --> 00:58:14,573 What are you doing? What are you gonna do? 970 00:58:14,735 --> 00:58:18,729 I've broken into your house because I know you have jewels in a safe. 971 00:58:19,535 --> 00:58:22,121 I have inside information. I want them. 972 00:58:22,287 --> 00:58:24,588 Remember the combination and open it. 973 00:58:31,470 --> 00:58:33,380 It was a blank. 974 00:58:34,927 --> 00:58:36,356 The next one's real. 975 00:58:54,126 --> 00:58:55,882 There's a good boy. 976 00:59:13,230 --> 00:59:15,564 So, what are you writing at the moment? 977 00:59:20,302 --> 00:59:21,927 What am I writing? 978 00:59:22,382 --> 00:59:24,356 Yes, I'm very interested in literature. 979 00:59:28,654 --> 00:59:31,207 Do you mind if I have a drink? 980 00:59:31,373 --> 00:59:34,854 Sure. It's your house. 981 00:59:35,213 --> 00:59:39,239 I'm always interested in the people I rob. 982 00:59:39,437 --> 00:59:43,266 Like I'm always interested in the husbands of the wives I fuck. 983 00:59:44,813 --> 00:59:46,471 Are you really? 984 00:59:47,181 --> 00:59:48,774 Well, well. 985 00:59:49,901 --> 00:59:51,427 Cheers. 986 00:59:57,709 --> 01:00:02,051 So, what are you writing? 987 01:00:06,605 --> 01:00:10,118 It's the story of a pathological killer. 988 01:00:10,285 --> 01:00:13,252 -I call it The Smiling Man. -Does he come to a bad end? 989 01:00:13,421 --> 01:00:16,203 He dies during the act of love. Like countless others. 990 01:00:16,364 --> 01:00:17,542 Countless others, eh? 991 01:00:17,708 --> 01:00:20,043 I can see you've researched the subject thoroughly. 992 01:00:21,068 --> 01:00:24,329 -What subject? -Death in orgasm. 993 01:00:24,492 --> 01:00:28,136 Isn't that a beautiful notion? To die in the arms of your beloved. 994 01:00:28,300 --> 01:00:31,813 Can you imagine anything more poignant? 995 01:00:31,980 --> 01:00:34,052 -I can't, no. -No. 996 01:00:34,220 --> 01:00:38,410 -You're a married man, aren't you? -Yeah, been married 13 years. 997 01:00:38,572 --> 01:00:39,782 It was love at first sight. 998 01:00:39,948 --> 01:00:41,257 -Very moving. -Yeah. 999 01:00:41,419 --> 01:00:43,524 And we're still in love. Like two peas in a pod. 1000 01:00:43,691 --> 01:00:46,179 Someone told me your wife has a lover. 1001 01:00:46,348 --> 01:00:48,290 -She has, yeah. -Do you know him? 1002 01:00:48,459 --> 01:00:51,209 No, I've never met him. He's some sort of Italian. 1003 01:00:51,371 --> 01:00:53,607 Called Tandoori or something. 1004 01:00:53,771 --> 01:00:55,713 One of the Bombay Tandooris? 1005 01:00:55,883 --> 01:00:57,792 You've got it, yeah. 1006 01:00:57,963 --> 01:01:00,713 You know something? I've never met an artistic burglar before. 1007 01:01:00,875 --> 01:01:02,882 That's fantastic. 1008 01:01:04,075 --> 01:01:05,897 -What's your background? -Me? 1009 01:01:06,059 --> 01:01:08,393 -You. -Irish. Connemara. 1010 01:01:08,555 --> 01:01:10,660 Spanish descent. By way of Uganda. 1011 01:01:10,826 --> 01:01:12,452 My grandparents were slaves. 1012 01:01:12,619 --> 01:01:15,521 My mother was a dark-eyed, dusky beauty. 1013 01:01:15,691 --> 01:01:19,204 -Were you breastfed? -Oh, sure, like a baby. 1014 01:01:20,778 --> 01:01:26,179 Shall I tell you what I want you to do with these jewels? 1015 01:01:27,050 --> 01:01:28,512 What? 1016 01:01:40,394 --> 01:01:45,445 You look so charming. 1017 01:01:51,658 --> 01:01:53,119 How do you want it? 1018 01:01:53,290 --> 01:01:54,817 Like this? 1019 01:01:54,985 --> 01:01:57,254 Or shorter? 1020 01:01:58,282 --> 01:02:02,373 How about this? Or even shorter like a halter? 1021 01:02:02,538 --> 01:02:05,887 -You're hurting me. -Oh, am I hurting you? 1022 01:02:06,057 --> 01:02:09,603 -Yes. Don't hurt me. -Are you sensitive to pain? 1023 01:02:09,770 --> 01:02:11,842 Very. Very. 1024 01:02:12,009 --> 01:02:14,464 I wouldn't want to hurt you, sweetheart. 1025 01:02:14,634 --> 01:02:17,023 You're too much fun. 1026 01:02:17,193 --> 01:02:20,870 -Am I really? -Oh, yes. You're wicked. 1027 01:02:21,033 --> 01:02:23,848 I like that. Yeah. 1028 01:02:24,969 --> 01:02:26,944 Do you know something? 1029 01:02:28,073 --> 01:02:31,073 I don't think these earrings really suit me. 1030 01:02:32,937 --> 01:02:35,936 You're right. Take them off. 1031 01:02:39,752 --> 01:02:41,411 I don't.... 1032 01:02:41,576 --> 01:02:46,049 I don't think this bracelet is really my style either. 1033 01:02:47,784 --> 01:02:50,173 But the necklace is nice. 1034 01:02:51,496 --> 01:02:52,576 I'm not totally sure. 1035 01:02:52,744 --> 01:02:57,446 Listen, you can play with these jewels until the cows come home. 1036 01:02:57,608 --> 01:03:01,918 They're yours. Do what you like with them. 1037 01:03:04,392 --> 01:03:07,392 But I thought you'd just stolen them. 1038 01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:09,927 No, no! It was a game! 1039 01:03:10,088 --> 01:03:14,910 It was just a game! I thought it might amuse you. 1040 01:03:31,368 --> 01:03:32,797 Well.... 1041 01:03:34,312 --> 01:03:37,825 Aren't you the wicked one? 1042 01:03:44,935 --> 01:03:46,179 You remember what I said? 1043 01:03:47,783 --> 01:03:51,012 You won the first set, 6-love. I was 3-love up in the second. 1044 01:03:51,175 --> 01:03:55,430 Well, now it's one set all. 1045 01:04:05,159 --> 01:04:08,541 But who's going to win the third set? 1046 01:04:10,662 --> 01:04:12,670 Remains to be seen. 1047 01:04:30,790 --> 01:04:32,132 You like games, don't you? 1048 01:04:33,382 --> 01:04:35,748 Some. Not all. 1049 01:04:35,910 --> 01:04:38,331 But you like being in charge... 1050 01:04:38,502 --> 01:04:40,193 ...of the game? 1051 01:04:41,510 --> 01:04:43,747 Oh, yes. Sure. 1052 01:04:45,382 --> 01:04:48,284 I like a man who wants to be in charge of things. 1053 01:04:48,485 --> 01:04:51,038 -Do you? -Yes, I do. 1054 01:04:52,358 --> 01:04:54,463 Listen, you've met my wife, I think. 1055 01:04:55,717 --> 01:04:59,427 I have met her. Yes. 1056 01:04:59,621 --> 01:05:02,338 -Did she say if she had a husband? -Yes. 1057 01:05:02,501 --> 01:05:05,021 Yeah, she said she had a husband. 1058 01:05:05,797 --> 01:05:08,350 How did she describe him? 1059 01:05:10,245 --> 01:05:12,580 Remote. Cold. 1060 01:05:12,741 --> 01:05:15,523 Malevolent. Spiteful. 1061 01:05:15,973 --> 01:05:18,493 Arrogant. Ruthless. 1062 01:05:18,661 --> 01:05:20,417 Jealous. Paranoid. 1063 01:05:20,581 --> 01:05:24,290 Criminal tendencies. Mentally unsound. 1064 01:05:24,485 --> 01:05:25,859 That's me, all right. 1065 01:05:30,053 --> 01:05:32,387 You know something? I like your mind. 1066 01:05:33,060 --> 01:05:35,100 -Do you really? -It excites me. 1067 01:05:35,492 --> 01:05:37,281 I like the way you go about things. 1068 01:05:39,012 --> 01:05:42,208 You mean you like my style? 1069 01:05:42,372 --> 01:05:44,477 Oh, I like your style. 1070 01:05:44,644 --> 01:05:47,066 I like it very much. 1071 01:05:48,132 --> 01:05:51,678 Look, I want to make you a proposition. 1072 01:05:52,612 --> 01:05:54,041 What? 1073 01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:58,299 I want to show you something. 1074 01:06:02,372 --> 01:06:06,016 -Can't you put that gun down now? -No. 1075 01:06:06,180 --> 01:06:09,180 God, you're so strong, so ruthless, aren't you? 1076 01:06:09,348 --> 01:06:10,330 Yes. 1077 01:06:10,499 --> 01:06:13,150 Have you any idea what my proposition is going to be? 1078 01:06:13,316 --> 01:06:15,585 -No. -Are you excited? 1079 01:06:15,747 --> 01:06:16,827 I'd say intrigued. 1080 01:06:16,996 --> 01:06:19,614 I think you're going to be excited very much. 1081 01:06:19,780 --> 01:06:23,041 This is the guest suite. 1082 01:06:24,611 --> 01:06:27,873 Isn't it nice? Look at the view. 1083 01:06:28,867 --> 01:06:30,907 There's a private bathroom. A small fridge. 1084 01:06:31,075 --> 01:06:36,061 A bottle of Chilean Chardonnay is chilling in there at this very moment. 1085 01:06:37,411 --> 01:06:40,095 This suite is uninhabited. 1086 01:06:41,507 --> 01:06:43,034 It has no occupant. 1087 01:06:48,579 --> 01:06:50,237 How would you like it? 1088 01:06:53,538 --> 01:06:54,782 Me? 1089 01:06:56,963 --> 01:06:58,337 Yes, yes. 1090 01:06:58,498 --> 01:07:03,102 I think I've come to the conclusion that you're my kind of person. 1091 01:07:05,986 --> 01:07:07,448 Am l, now? 1092 01:07:08,002 --> 01:07:10,457 Well, I told you. I liked your mind. It excited me. 1093 01:07:10,626 --> 01:07:14,335 I need intellectual excitement. 1094 01:07:14,498 --> 01:07:16,702 Intellectual stimulation. 1095 01:07:18,626 --> 01:07:20,448 Well, they don't grow on trees. 1096 01:07:21,186 --> 01:07:23,357 I'm a rich man. 1097 01:07:23,522 --> 01:07:25,496 What do you want to do? 1098 01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:28,187 I can subsidize anything you want. 1099 01:07:29,186 --> 01:07:31,771 You want to open a bookshop in the village? 1100 01:07:32,545 --> 01:07:36,026 An art gallery? Or, of course, a little theater. 1101 01:07:36,449 --> 01:07:37,562 You're a wonderful actor. 1102 01:07:37,730 --> 01:07:41,526 You could choose all the plays and play all the leading parts. 1103 01:07:42,977 --> 01:07:47,101 But this would be your home. 1104 01:07:51,553 --> 01:07:54,106 And this would be your bedroom. 1105 01:07:58,945 --> 01:08:02,044 You're asking me to live here? 1106 01:08:03,713 --> 01:08:07,009 Yes, I'm asking you to stay with me. 1107 01:08:07,681 --> 01:08:11,805 Oh, we would also travel. I mean, Jamaica, Swiss Alps. 1108 01:08:11,969 --> 01:08:13,856 I bet you're a wonderful skier, aren't you? 1109 01:08:14,017 --> 01:08:16,024 You could ski to your heart's content. 1110 01:08:16,193 --> 01:08:17,982 Swim in the blue Caribbean. 1111 01:08:18,688 --> 01:08:21,950 I'd be waiting at our table with a Scotch on the rocks. 1112 01:08:22,112 --> 01:08:24,152 Or a chilled Chilean Chardonnay. 1113 01:08:26,912 --> 01:08:28,635 The world would be your oyster. 1114 01:08:31,232 --> 01:08:33,501 But what about Maggie? 1115 01:08:35,137 --> 01:08:36,892 Forget her. 1116 01:08:37,056 --> 01:08:38,998 Let her rot. 1117 01:08:39,712 --> 01:08:41,239 Stay with me. 1118 01:08:41,408 --> 01:08:43,579 You're my kind of person. 1119 01:08:51,296 --> 01:08:53,565 It's quite tempting. 1120 01:09:03,487 --> 01:09:05,494 Hello? 1121 01:09:05,663 --> 01:09:07,125 Hi. 1122 01:09:08,959 --> 01:09:10,748 It's going okay. 1123 01:09:13,663 --> 01:09:15,703 We're still talking. 1124 01:09:16,959 --> 01:09:19,926 We're on the right track. It's all going okay. 1125 01:09:20,831 --> 01:09:22,773 Don't come down. 1126 01:09:22,943 --> 01:09:25,790 That would be a mistake. It's all going fine. 1127 01:09:27,775 --> 01:09:29,662 I love you too. 1128 01:09:31,039 --> 01:09:32,565 I am. 1129 01:09:33,246 --> 01:09:35,134 I'm kissing you. 1130 01:09:36,159 --> 01:09:37,981 Oh, yes. 1131 01:09:38,814 --> 01:09:41,149 I can taste your mouth. 1132 01:09:46,142 --> 01:09:48,030 What the hell did she want? 1133 01:09:48,543 --> 01:09:50,681 She wants that divorce. 1134 01:09:52,478 --> 01:09:54,420 What about my proposition? 1135 01:09:58,270 --> 01:10:00,725 Well, I like the idea of Jamaica. 1136 01:10:00,894 --> 01:10:04,210 -What about Barbados? -Well, and Barbados, and Antigua. 1137 01:10:04,382 --> 01:10:06,803 Yeah, it's true. There's so many places I haven't seen. 1138 01:10:06,974 --> 01:10:09,789 Hollywood. Saint Petersburg. 1139 01:10:09,950 --> 01:10:12,317 The C�te d'Azur, Coney Island. 1140 01:10:12,478 --> 01:10:16,122 And I hear there's that wonderful hotel in Scotland called Balmoral. 1141 01:10:16,286 --> 01:10:19,003 -That's where the queen lives. -So bed and breakfast is out. 1142 01:10:19,166 --> 01:10:21,500 -It's on if you know the queen. -I don't. 1143 01:10:21,661 --> 01:10:22,905 I do. 1144 01:10:23,581 --> 01:10:25,108 That's fantastic. 1145 01:10:27,742 --> 01:10:29,530 But seriously, though. 1146 01:10:29,693 --> 01:10:32,115 We could have such a wonderful time together. 1147 01:10:32,285 --> 01:10:33,692 Venice? Disneyland? 1148 01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:36,764 Whatever you want. Whatever you want. 1149 01:10:36,925 --> 01:10:37,907 Whoever you want. 1150 01:10:38,525 --> 01:10:41,242 I could introduce you to whoever you want. 1151 01:10:41,405 --> 01:10:43,860 Kissinger? Dick Cheney? 1152 01:10:44,029 --> 01:10:45,175 Madonna? Mike Tyson? 1153 01:10:45,341 --> 01:10:46,323 -Yes. -Yes? 1154 01:10:47,197 --> 01:10:51,256 I must say, that as offers go... 1155 01:10:52,413 --> 01:10:55,315 ...it's quite tempting. 1156 01:10:57,821 --> 01:11:00,538 You're a naughty tempter, aren't you? 1157 01:11:02,428 --> 01:11:06,651 I'm so glad you like my mind. Not many people like my mind. 1158 01:11:06,813 --> 01:11:08,755 Quite a few people like my body... 1159 01:11:08,925 --> 01:11:11,380 ...but I can't think of anyone who likes my mind. 1160 01:11:12,636 --> 01:11:15,091 That makes you unique. 1161 01:11:15,900 --> 01:11:18,388 But then, of course, you know what they say. 1162 01:11:18,556 --> 01:11:20,465 The mind is the body. 1163 01:11:21,469 --> 01:11:22,483 Is that what they say? 1164 01:11:22,652 --> 01:11:25,783 Somebody said something like it once. Bullshit, of course. Anyway.... 1165 01:11:26,684 --> 01:11:30,164 Perhaps I am your sort of person. Who knows? 1166 01:11:31,579 --> 01:11:35,889 But you would have to be very nice to me. 1167 01:11:36,092 --> 01:11:39,954 For instance, just at this moment, I need a drink. 1168 01:11:49,915 --> 01:11:51,824 You can get your own drink. 1169 01:11:51,995 --> 01:11:54,864 No, you get it for me and I might be nice to you. 1170 01:11:55,035 --> 01:11:57,206 -Nice to me? -That's what I said. 1171 01:11:57,371 --> 01:11:58,549 Whisky, please. 1172 01:12:16,923 --> 01:12:20,916 Can't deny, I can be quite a congenial companion. 1173 01:12:21,083 --> 01:12:22,992 I really-- I can't deny it. 1174 01:12:25,723 --> 01:12:31,920 I could be quite a witty companion. 1175 01:12:32,826 --> 01:12:37,561 Would you like a witty companion? 1176 01:12:37,722 --> 01:12:42,359 -Very much. -I'm particularly witty in the morning. 1177 01:12:42,522 --> 01:12:43,732 Would that suit you? 1178 01:12:44,890 --> 01:12:50,225 Some people hate wit in the morning. What about you? 1179 01:12:50,393 --> 01:12:51,800 I love wit in the morning. 1180 01:12:53,594 --> 01:12:55,416 Over boiled eggs? 1181 01:12:57,850 --> 01:12:59,224 Do you like eggs? 1182 01:12:59,801 --> 01:13:00,783 Absolutely. 1183 01:13:05,786 --> 01:13:08,273 I'm a dab hand in the kitchen. 1184 01:13:08,826 --> 01:13:14,739 But you have to be nice to me and get me a drink when I ask for it. 1185 01:13:36,569 --> 01:13:38,130 You see? 1186 01:13:39,512 --> 01:13:42,546 You can be really sweet... 1187 01:13:42,713 --> 01:13:44,818 ...when you put your mind to it. 1188 01:13:44,985 --> 01:13:46,578 Cheers. 1189 01:13:51,609 --> 01:13:54,391 Listen, I can see what you're saying. 1190 01:13:54,553 --> 01:13:57,749 I can see why you're inviting me to live with you. 1191 01:13:57,912 --> 01:14:00,279 I can see that you're lonely. 1192 01:14:00,440 --> 01:14:03,756 That you need looking after. It's obvious. 1193 01:14:03,928 --> 01:14:07,703 You need someone who would cater for your every whim. 1194 01:14:07,864 --> 01:14:09,719 Don't you? 1195 01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:11,309 I do. 1196 01:14:17,976 --> 01:14:20,976 Hello? Darling. 1197 01:14:21,143 --> 01:14:22,518 What? 1198 01:14:25,304 --> 01:14:26,830 Oh, is that so? 1199 01:14:26,999 --> 01:14:28,406 Are you? 1200 01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:33,229 I see. 1201 01:14:33,400 --> 01:14:35,025 Are you sure? 1202 01:14:35,191 --> 01:14:36,685 I see. 1203 01:14:37,367 --> 01:14:39,058 I got it. 1204 01:14:41,079 --> 01:14:43,981 I told you I got it. I understand. 1205 01:14:44,823 --> 01:14:46,318 Okay. 1206 01:14:47,095 --> 01:14:50,412 -Okay, I'll tell him. -Tell me what? 1207 01:14:53,911 --> 01:14:57,206 -That she loves you. -ls that so? 1208 01:14:57,366 --> 01:14:59,887 -What else did she say? -Nothing. 1209 01:15:00,055 --> 01:15:01,232 -Nothing? -Nothing. 1210 01:15:01,399 --> 01:15:04,782 Listen, for chrissake, make up your mind. 1211 01:15:04,950 --> 01:15:09,107 I'm offering you something special. Something very special. 1212 01:15:09,271 --> 01:15:12,882 We seal it with a handshake. And she's nowhere. 1213 01:15:13,046 --> 01:15:16,624 We cut her out, you understand? We cut her out of our lives. 1214 01:15:16,790 --> 01:15:18,895 Don't let her dominate you. Be yourself. 1215 01:15:19,062 --> 01:15:21,648 -Be independent. Be free. -Like you? 1216 01:15:21,815 --> 01:15:24,433 That's right. Be free like me. 1217 01:15:59,221 --> 01:16:03,083 I've always been attracted... 1218 01:16:03,253 --> 01:16:05,970 ...to rich and powerful men. 1219 01:16:06,389 --> 01:16:09,138 Rich and powerful men make all the girls quiver... 1220 01:16:09,301 --> 01:16:12,084 ...Iike a jelly on a plate. 1221 01:16:12,245 --> 01:16:13,521 But you're not a girl. 1222 01:16:15,125 --> 01:16:19,216 Tickles the old cobblers, money. 1223 01:16:19,381 --> 01:16:23,309 -Girls don't have cobblers. -You'd be surprised. 1224 01:16:28,181 --> 01:16:30,090 But you're not a girl. 1225 01:16:30,965 --> 01:16:33,037 I may be once. 1226 01:16:33,876 --> 01:16:36,243 Back in the good old days. 1227 01:16:37,845 --> 01:16:40,463 Maybe the good old days are coming back. 1228 01:16:41,364 --> 01:16:43,306 Who knows? 1229 01:16:44,340 --> 01:16:46,031 Look.... 1230 01:16:48,628 --> 01:16:51,497 I'd really like to see your bed. 1231 01:16:52,340 --> 01:16:55,723 I mean, let me be quite clear. 1232 01:16:55,892 --> 01:16:59,635 This looks a very nice bed indeed. 1233 01:17:00,532 --> 01:17:03,020 But yours is bigger. 1234 01:17:05,043 --> 01:17:08,458 -Can I take another look? -Sure. 1235 01:17:10,580 --> 01:17:12,587 Is this how you do it? 1236 01:17:18,516 --> 01:17:20,458 Miraculous. 1237 01:17:30,867 --> 01:17:33,518 I could really get to like this. 1238 01:17:33,683 --> 01:17:38,637 Of course, this is the marriage bed, isn't it? 1239 01:17:39,763 --> 01:17:42,348 Is this where she took your virginity? 1240 01:17:42,515 --> 01:17:44,751 Is this where your wife deflowered you? 1241 01:17:44,915 --> 01:17:47,467 Is this where you were deflowered? 1242 01:17:49,299 --> 01:17:51,186 It's a lovely bed. 1243 01:17:51,986 --> 01:17:54,921 So bouncy. 1244 01:18:00,403 --> 01:18:05,770 I'm so touched that you've offered me a place in your heart. 1245 01:18:05,938 --> 01:18:08,207 In your life. 1246 01:18:08,370 --> 01:18:10,225 I'm touched. 1247 01:18:21,106 --> 01:18:23,113 Take your hand off me. 1248 01:18:25,425 --> 01:18:27,760 Take your hand off me. 1249 01:18:30,098 --> 01:18:32,748 Fuck off. Fuck off, you big poof! 1250 01:18:33,169 --> 01:18:36,431 Jesus. I come here as an innocent bystander. 1251 01:18:36,593 --> 01:18:39,113 As a totally respectable individual. 1252 01:18:39,281 --> 01:18:42,729 A humble part-time hairdresser. And you try to corrupt me. 1253 01:18:42,898 --> 01:18:45,680 You try to seduce me. Do you know what you are? 1254 01:18:45,841 --> 01:18:46,823 You're a menace. 1255 01:18:46,994 --> 01:18:50,703 Also, you're a cunt. 1256 01:18:51,505 --> 01:18:55,214 Well, now you really are charming. 1257 01:18:55,377 --> 01:18:57,614 -Know who's gonna love this story? -What story? 1258 01:18:57,777 --> 01:18:59,271 -This one. This one. -Who? 1259 01:18:59,473 --> 01:19:00,782 -Maggie. -Really? 1260 01:19:01,105 --> 01:19:03,144 By the way, she asked me to tell you something. 1261 01:19:03,313 --> 01:19:05,069 -What? -That she's coming back to you. 1262 01:19:05,617 --> 01:19:08,846 -She's on her way. -She's coming back to me? 1263 01:19:09,041 --> 01:19:11,375 -That's what she told me. -I don't want her. 1264 01:19:11,537 --> 01:19:14,220 Well, you've got her. She's all yours. You're welcome to her. 1265 01:19:14,384 --> 01:19:18,541 She loves your money, baby. That's the nub of it. 1266 01:19:19,408 --> 01:19:20,870 I don't want her. 1267 01:19:26,545 --> 01:19:28,846 -What are you doing with that coat? -I'm taking it. 1268 01:19:29,040 --> 01:19:30,763 Tell Maggie I'll be in touch. 1269 01:19:30,928 --> 01:19:33,830 I want to have a drink with her. Bring her up to date. 1270 01:19:35,920 --> 01:19:39,848 How do you like me in this coat? Do you fancy me? 1271 01:19:43,504 --> 01:19:46,155 Goodbye, darling. 1272 01:19:50,511 --> 01:19:52,104 Wait a minute. 1273 01:19:53,295 --> 01:19:55,150 Yes? What? 1274 01:20:02,383 --> 01:20:04,205 Goodbye, darling. 1275 01:21:04,206 --> 01:21:05,206 Subtitles extracted by LeapinLar