1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:11,880 # Music # 2 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,760 She was the first girl to see me naked. 3 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,600 Granted, we were seven years old at the time, 4 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,880 but I had a feeling even then. 5 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,640 There's really something about the first girl you play doctor with. 6 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,240 Maybe it's cosmic or something, 7 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,520 or perhaps it's just that she's seen your package and didn't run away screaming. 8 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,440 Whatever it was, Allison and I were made for each other. 9 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,360 A perfect fit. 10 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,720 So when her family moved away, I knew that someday, somehow... 11 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,600 fate would bring us back together. 12 00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:44,500 Berke? 13 00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:48,470 Berke Landers? 14 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,240 It's me, Allison. 15 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,200 Allison McAllister? 16 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,680 Of all the lunch rooms in all the schools in all the world, 17 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,600 that day she walked into mine. 18 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,280 It was the perfect romance. 19 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,840 I was dating the most beautiful girl in school. 20 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,720 And the cool part? We still played doctor. 21 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,960 For the first time in my life I was in love, 22 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,320 and I knew it would last forever. 23 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,960 Boy, was I a dumb-ass. 24 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,800 We need to talk. 25 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,640 Um, you know, everything in life, 26 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,600 e-even the really great things, 27 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,520 run their course eventually. 28 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,440 Right? 29 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,800 Trends fade, bread molds, 30 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,600 people die. 31 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,320 Uh-huh. 32 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,240 [Sighs] 33 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,160 I guess... 34 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,280 Remember the first time we kissed? 35 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,440 The feeling, the sparks? 36 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,360 Yeah. 37 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,880 Well, now, when we kiss, 38 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,680 the feeling, 39 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,600 it's... it's kind of... 40 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,720 it's kind of gone. 41 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,240 Oh, and Berke? 42 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,480 I packed up most of your stuff. 43 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,480 I thought it'd be easier. 44 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,160 Thanks. 45 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:59,080 # Music # 46 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,760 # Love # 47 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,840 # Love will keep us together # 48 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:07,280 #Think of me, babe whenever # 49 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,760 # Some sweet-talkin' girl comes along # 50 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,480 # Singin' a song # 51 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,360 # Don't mess around you just gotta be strong # 52 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:19,080 #Just stop 'cause I really love you # 53 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:22,360 # Stop I been thinkin' of you # 54 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,840 # Look in my heart and let love # 55 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,920 # Keep us together # 56 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,960 #You belong to me now # 57 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,320 #Ain't gonna set you free now # 58 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,800 #When those girls start hangin' around # 59 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,520 #Talkin' me down # 60 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,440 # Hear with your heart and you won't hear a sound # 61 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,160 # 'Cause I really love you # 62 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,400 # I been thinkin' of you # 63 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,840 # Look in my heart and let love # 64 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,520 # Keep us together # 65 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,440 #Whatever # 66 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,520 #Young and beautiful # 67 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,760 # Someday your looks will be gone # 68 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,080 #When the others turn you off # 69 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,080 #Who'll be turnin' you on # 70 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,520 # I will, I will, I will # 71 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,280 # I will # 72 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,840 # Be there to share forever # 73 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,040 # Love will keep us together # 74 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,320 # I said it before # 75 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,200 #And I'll say it again # 76 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,920 #While others pretend # 77 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,960 # I need you now and I need you then # 78 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,680 # 'Cause I really love you # 79 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,960 # I been thinkin' of you # 80 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,440 # Look in my heart and let love # 81 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,000 # Keep us together # 82 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,160 #Whatever # 83 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,880 # I will, I will, I will # 84 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,720 Aaaaaah! 85 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,040 [Berke] My parents, Frank and Beverly, 86 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:28,360 - they host the relationship advice show Love Matters, - 1 [Studio Audience Applauding] 87 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,280 Which sounds pretty cool... 88 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,680 - This maximizes the pleasure for both parties. - Exactly. Right. 89 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,400 [Beverly] And simultaneously allowing for face-to-face intimacy. 90 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,320 [Frank] Coolio knows what we're talking about. 91 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,440 - Wanna take her for a spin? - Huh? 92 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,440 Here are the C.D. S you wanted. 93 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,520 Oh, thanks, honey. The guests get so cranky when you haven't heard their music. 94 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,880 You came home so early last night. 95 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,840 Don't make it too flat. 96 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,760 Is everything okay with Allison? 97 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,640 No, not really. So maybe we can talk about it... 98 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,560 Berke, you know the rule. 99 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,920 When we're not feeling sunny, we... 100 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,320 - I don't really want to talk about it here. - I believe the word is share. 101 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,200 Frank, hon, apparently Berke has a problem with Allison. 102 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:12,720 What's the story, dude? A little snafu in the old channels of communication? 103 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,640 - Boundary issues? - Codependency? 104 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,560 No, i-it's nothing like that. 105 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,520 - [Floor Manager] Five minutes, people. - [Parents] Sex. 106 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,600 She dumped me. 107 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,240 - Darling. [Studio Audience] - Aww! 108 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,880 [Woman In Audience] Ohh! You poor baby! 109 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,200 This probably isn't the best place to talk about this. 110 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,120 [Audience Applauding] 111 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,760 [Scratching, Hip-Hop] #You got to be insane # 112 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,520 - It's gonna be fine, man. - It's gonna be better than fine. 113 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,920 I mean, look at all this new and interesting... 114 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,440 Hey, grabby hands. Step away from the sister. 115 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,520 What am I, a year younger than you? 116 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,720 Not than anybody could tell from your birthday presents... pink roller blades. 117 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,640 - It was a great gift. - Sure. 118 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,400 - Can I help you? - Huh? 119 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,240 - Uh... no. - Come on, Basin. 120 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,640 - A guy in the corner says he'll pierce our navels for free. - What? 121 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,040 Okay, he's here. He's here. 122 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,000 So? 123 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,920 So, I told him I was going out of town, Maggie. He's gonna freak when he finds I'm here. 124 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:37,440 Al, you're a free agent now. Don't you think he needs to start dealing with that? 125 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:41,040 You should've seen the look on his face. He was devastated. 126 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,800 - It's gonna take him a while to get over this. - Allison? 127 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,720 Are you sure you're over this? 128 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,000 Allow me. 129 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,080 Who was that? Ouch. 130 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,040 Is this, like, your first time in the States? 131 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,960 Well, uh... Lucky, right? 132 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,680 - [Giggling] - [Giggling] 133 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,360 Are you guys listening to this candy-ass? 134 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,480 My father's in the foreign service, so I've spent the last few years abroad... 135 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,920 Shanghai, Ludwigshafen. 136 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:19,840 When I was in Amsterdam, I toured with a little pop group called the Swing Town Lads. 137 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,760 [Girls Gasping, Chattering] 138 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,680 I knew he looked familiar. 139 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,400 What's up with this accent? He sounds like Madonna. 140 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,440 - She's here. - Who, Madonna? 141 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,040 No. Allison. 142 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,240 - Ohh! - It's perfect. 143 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,520 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are not going over there. 144 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:44,360 You go over there, you might as well put your stick on a cracker. 145 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,240 It's only gonna make you her bitch. You don't want that. 146 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,160 It's bad! 147 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:53,440 Felix, I've taken pisses longer than your last three relationships. 148 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,320 - Ohh! - Oh! Right you are. 149 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,240 - Thank you. - You okay? 150 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,160 Yes. Yeah. I think so. 151 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,680 Yes, well, it's a tad rough and tumble out there. Glad I was here to catch you. 152 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,640 I'm glad you were too. 153 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,560 [Gasps] 154 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,000 She's not your girlfriend anymore, man. 155 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,360 Maybe that's not such a bad thing. 156 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,240 I mean, next year you guys'll be going to different schools. 157 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,640 What were you gonna do, marry her? 158 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,000 - Who marries their high school girlfriend, anyway? - And don't say Macaulay Culkin. 159 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,920 - [Phone Beeping] - I think I'm gonna call her. 160 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,840 No. Negative. 161 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,240 - [Groans] - Have some self-respect, man. 162 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,040 You have called her 40 times already. 163 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,880 - Get outta my way! - Oh, shit. 164 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,280 # I, I stand at attention # 165 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,160 #Whenever you're near You're near # 166 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:47,040 # Full speed ahead, girl 'Cause it's clear # 167 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:51,200 #That you are my Luv SCUD ## 168 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,160 [Maggie] He calls himself Striker. 169 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,600 - [Allison Giggling] - "Luv SCUD"? 170 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,760 What did he say when he gave it to you? 171 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,760 Mmm, I don't know. He asked me out. 172 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:08,000 Well, don't be so nonchalant about it, girl. 173 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,720 I think that boy is razor fine. 174 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,000 - Don't... Don't... - #And the way you look I understand # 175 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,760 #That you aren't impressed # 176 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:26,200 # I heard you let a little friend of mine # 177 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,600 #Take off your party dress # 178 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,520 # Oh, Allison # 179 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,840 - #Allison # - [Felix] The neighbors are screaming at you, Berke! 180 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,760 - # My aim is... ## - Come on, let's go! 181 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,400 [Crash, Thud] 182 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,760 [Berke Screams, Whines] 183 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,400 Berke, your aim sucks. 184 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,440 A little to the left... What direction do you think left is? 185 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,680 If you go with your instinct and reverse it, I think we have something happening. 186 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,120 How difficult is this? I-I'm so alone, I think. 187 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,880 I am trying. You are intimidating me. 188 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,720 Well, you are frightening me! How do you get dressed in the morning? 189 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,760 Do you have people that come in, or do you just lie in state? 190 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,280 'A Midsummer Night's Rockin'Eve"? 191 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,640 - Classical Shakespeare with a contemporary musical twist. - [Phone Rings] 192 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,560 Hello? 193 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,440 Oh, my God! How did you get this number? 194 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,360 [Laughs] Oh, you're kidding! 195 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:29,280 - Either that man has no taste, or he completely hates us. - I think it's a little of both. 196 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,160 Lazario, how's that lobotomy workin' out for you? 197 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,560 - Asi, asi. - So what's with the smiling? 198 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,440 A week ago you were mired in rejected drunk-guy mode. 199 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,280 - You pass the final, or what? - No, I got a 57. 200 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,200 - Ouch. - [Striker] Hello, ladies. 201 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,400 [Felix] I'm sorry, man. That's gotta suck. 202 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,320 No, just a mild annoyance. 203 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,280 See? Yeah! There you go. 204 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,120 If she wants to screw around with that clown, let her. 205 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,040 - Right? - Yeah, for now, anyway. 206 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,960 What's that supposed to mean? 207 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,480 Well, if I'm gonna lose Allison, it's not going to be to a turd like that, right? 208 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,160 [Whistle Blows] 209 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,640 - Obviously there's something about the guy Allison likes. - Yeah, obviously. 210 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,960 [Coach] Fancy moves, Crazy Legs. 211 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,520 - In your face. - God, there he is again. 212 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,400 I don't know how you could take someone seriously with an accent like that. 213 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,320 Berke, face it, man. You're screwed. 214 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,320 I don't think so. I think I can take this backstreet bitch. 215 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,280 - [Chuckles] - [Whistle Blows] 216 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,200 - [Girl] Ohh! - [Boy Laughs] 217 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,880 Nice trick, Landers, catching the ball with your face. 218 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,240 Next thing you know, you'll be shooting three-pointers with your ass. 219 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,320 [Sighs] Berke. 220 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,280 Berke, stop. Berke! 221 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,240 - Will you let me look at it, please? - Just go back to practice. 222 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,720 Berke, talk to me. 223 00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:00,640 I just don't understand how you can replace me with this guy. 224 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,560 Berke, 225 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,880 no one... can replace you, you know. 226 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,800 It's just... 227 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,720 time to move on. 228 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,400 So, everything's just going great with this... this Striker? 229 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,800 No, i-it's just... 230 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,400 different, you know, I mean... 231 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,680 He's not like other guys our age. 232 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,760 You know? He's sophisticated and... 233 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:30,400 We're even gonna try out for... for the spring musical together. 234 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,200 You hate theater. 235 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,720 No, I don't. 236 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,360 "Captain of the fairy band, 237 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,320 Helena is close at hand." 238 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,000 I'm understanding about every other word of this shit. 239 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,920 - Berke. - Hey. 240 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,320 - What happened to your face? - A long story. 241 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,200 A Midsummer Night's Dream? What, are you gonna try out for the show? 242 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,960 Kinda, sor... Maybe. 243 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:03,000 Well, you know, if you're serious about it, I'm kinda good at that stuff. 244 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,600 Really? 245 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,520 Have you heard her songs? 246 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,880 - She's only like the next Josie Mitchell. - Joni Mitchell. 247 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,480 I-I could actually use some help. 248 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,760 So, tomorrow, coffee? 249 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,160 Okay. Coffee would be great. 250 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,560 - Okay. Bye. - Bye. 251 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,480 [Giggling] 252 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,360 "If you're serious, I'm kinda good at that stuff." 253 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,280 - Shut up! - "Shut up!" [Gasps] 254 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,320 - Did you see Dennis staring at me again? - Oh, I know, totally. 255 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:35,000 Okay, so the first thing we need to do is pick you out a monologue for your audition. 256 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,360 Yeah, this is good. Lysander, right? 257 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,200 [Rapidly] "She sees not Hermia. Hermia sleep thou there..." 258 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:47,280 No, wait, you can't, like, run all the words together. It doesn't work like that. 259 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,160 But that's okay. We'll start from the beginning, okay? 260 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,040 It's kind of hard to understand, 261 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,520 but once you get into it the story's actually kind of good. 262 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,200 So, Hermia, this girl here, 263 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,640 she's very rich and beautiful, 264 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,400 and she lives with her overbearing parents in Athens. 265 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,280 Hermia has everything a girl could ask for... 266 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,880 cool clothes, nice complexion and her pick of pretty much any guy she wants. 267 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,800 But, of all the guys in the greater Athens area, 268 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,160 Hermia's heart belongs to the handsome young nobleman Lysander. 269 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:21,640 - [Horse Whinnies] - This would all be perfect if it weren't for Demetrius. 270 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,520 Hermia's father already promised her hand to him, 271 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:29,040 and he's just as charming and handsome as Lysander... maybe even more so. 272 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,280 Not to mention, Demetrius will stop at nothing to make Hermia his bride. 273 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,160 This pretty much leaves Lysander screwed. 274 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,560 All right. Got it. 275 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:43,840 Uh, you make it, uh, very easy. 276 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,760 We just started. 277 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,640 Kelly, I'm not exactly trying to win an Oscar here. 278 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,600 I'm just trying to get my girlfriend back. Thanks. 279 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,400 Hi! How are you? 280 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,320 Hi, new faces. 281 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,240 How are you today? 282 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,040 I'm Dr. Desmond Forrest-Oates, fine arts chair and all that hoopla. 283 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,880 The purpose of these proceedings... 284 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,960 is to separate the wheat from the chaff. 285 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,800 And I think we might be amazed that among us is a new, glimmering star, 286 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,880 our school's next... 287 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,080 Well, our next Peter Wong. 288 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,320 - [Kids Chattering, Scoffing] - Hey, Petey. 289 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,000 Cool shirt. 290 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:29,240 For those of you who don't make the cut, I beg you, don't despair. 291 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,160 There's always stage crew. 292 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,040 - And if you've ever had a conversation with a crew member, - [Farting] 293 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,480 You know how much fun that can be. 294 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,880 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I couldn't resist it. 295 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,760 You egg me on, is the problem. 296 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,640 All right, the procedure is gonna be very, very basic. 297 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,920 We're gonna start with the singing audition. 298 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,800 So loosen up those diaphragms, kiddies. 299 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,200 It's time to impress. 300 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,320 [Falsetto, Soprano] #Where the bee sucks there suck I # 301 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,000 [Basso] # On the bat's back I do fly # 302 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,680 #Take a look # 303 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,280 # Here I am # 304 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,920 # Can't you see # 305 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,040 # One simple smile from you could # 306 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:26,000 # Let your heart be your guide # 307 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,880 # I'll show you love # 308 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,160 # If you take a look # 309 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,480 #At the girl inside ## 310 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,720 Oh, that was... that was fun. Who's the composer on that? 311 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,440 Me, actually. 312 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,840 I'm sorry, were you... were you expecting applause and that? 313 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,520 This is an audition, not T.R.L. 314 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,080 - [Forrest-Oates Chuckles] - I... know that. 315 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,880 Who's next? Bentley Scrumfeld. 316 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,760 One of the original Swing Town Lads, if I'm not mistaken. 317 00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:01,120 - I see you know your boy groups, sir. - I follow the popular arts. 318 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,480 To me, they're so dope. 319 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:07,320 If you don't mind, I'd like to accompany myself. 320 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,120 Ah. Put that down. 321 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,920 Thank you. 322 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,280 This one's kind of a personal favorite of mine. 323 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,240 [Girls Giggling, Sighing] 324 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,160 # Oh, it's so funny # 325 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,840 #Take off your party dress # 326 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,760 [Gasps, Whispers] Oh, my. 327 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,160 [Girls Murmuring, Chattering] 328 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,520 [Guttural Whisper] True. 329 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,360 - Very nice, Mr. Striker. - [Girls Cheering, Shouting] 330 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,040 That is very impressive indeed. 331 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,080 That's, that's... Wow. 332 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,040 Well, if there's no one else... 333 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,280 - Wait. - [Girl] What? 334 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,720 - May I help you? - Berke Landers. I'm here to audition. 335 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,920 [Forrest-Oates] Ah. Berke Landers. 336 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,800 Goody for me. 337 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:40,560 Uh, I'd like to read a monologue by Oberon in the third act. 338 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,520 I can't wait to hear it. But first I need to hear your singing audition. 339 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,080 Excuse me? 340 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,960 The procedure, Mr. Landers, 341 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,360 is that we sing first and read later. 342 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,920 Uh... [Chuckles] 343 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,840 Jessica, could you help me here? 344 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,360 L-l-l-l-I'm sinking in quicksand, unfortunately, at this point. 345 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,360 - Sing first, read later. - Sing first, read later. 346 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,280 - Any song? - Any song you want. 347 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:24,480 [Whispering] # Kiss a little longer Make it last a little longer # 348 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,360 Projection, Mr. Berke! 349 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,000 Projection. 350 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,880 # Kiss a little longer # 351 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,720 - # Stay close a little longer # - [Students Groaning] 352 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,440 # Hold tight a little longer # 353 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,920 # Longer with Big Red # 354 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:54,640 #That Big Red freshness lasts right through it # 355 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,360 [Girls] #Your fresh breath goes on and on # 356 00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,200 [Berke, Girls] #While you chew it # 357 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,440 # Make it last a little longer # 358 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,080 # Give your breath long-lasting freshness # 359 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:10,400 #With Big Red ## 360 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,320 [Phone Rings] 361 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,240 - Yeah. - [Berke] What's going on? 362 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:24,160 Oh, nothing. I'm just watching Chester screw the rubber tree. 363 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,840 Is that some kind of expression? 364 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,440 No, no, no. My aunt's dog is staying with us for a couple of weeks. 365 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:33,080 Apparently, he's got some sort of hormonal imbalance. 366 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,960 Wow, uh... 367 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,880 Is Kelly there? 368 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,160 - What? - Kelly. Your sister. Is she there? 369 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,040 - Why? - 'Cause she did a favor for me today. 370 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,200 - Just put her on, okay? - Okay. 371 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,120 Hold, please. 372 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,000 Berke Landers. Since when do my friends start calling you? 373 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,920 Since today. 374 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,840 - Hey. - [Berke] So, how was I? 375 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,880 You were really... [Sighs] okay. 376 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,840 Sorry. I thought you knew about the singing. 377 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,280 - Oh, minor detail. - You were cute. 378 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,640 You wanna tell Allison that? 379 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,840 Well, I hope you get in the play. 380 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,760 - What? - Felix. 381 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,640 I can hear you breathing! 382 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,640 - Hello? - [Click, Dial Tone] 383 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,920 [Jessica] All right, everyone, coming through! 384 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,320 Out of my way! Part! 385 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,200 Please! Excuse me. Thank you. 386 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,040 - Okay, ev... - All right! 387 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,280 - [Jessica] Ow! - Demetrius! Yes! 388 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,200 - Congratulations, fair Hermia. - You're kidding. 389 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,720 - I knew you'd get it. - [Screaming] 390 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,120 All right, people! This play is gonna rock! 391 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,880 Chorus? 392 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,840 Oh, you've gotta be shitting me. 393 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,840 Helena? Oh, my God! 394 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,680 [Squeals] 395 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,240 Good news? 396 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,680 Sorry, I just... I really had my heart set on that part. 397 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,360 That's... That's good. 398 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,280 Look. There's you. 399 00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:10,280 Oh, yeah. 400 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:14,640 Well, let's hope Attendant #3 doesn't have any songs. 401 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,160 - Felicitations, Miss Woods. - Thank you so much. 402 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,360 - It's the lead role. - I know. 403 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,440 Me thinks thou best not botch it! 404 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,320 [Forrest-Oates Giggles] 405 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:26,400 I remember what the wonderful Bobby De Niro once said to me. 406 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,800 Well, not to me. I read it in an article. 407 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:31,680 It was considering landing the big roles, and what he said was, 408 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,640 "Just because God blesses you... 409 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:37,520 does not mean there isn't another sneeze coming." 410 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,960 Anyway, see you at Thursday's rehearsal. 411 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,880 You too. 412 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,720 Uh, Dr. Forrest-Oates, 413 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,360 that's... that's kinda gonna be a problem. 414 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,720 See, next week we've got all the basketball play-offs. 415 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,640 Now, let me tell you something, bub. 416 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,040 This is your theatrical debut! 417 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,200 I want you to take it seriously! 418 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,120 I want you to give it half the dedication... just half... 419 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,080 that I gave my own. 420 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,480 To be or not to be. 421 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,440 That ees the question. 422 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,800 [Audience Cheering, Faint] 423 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,800 Oh, those were the salad days. 424 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:26,200 Although these are good. 425 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,040 Thursday. None of this. 426 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,960 Jock head. 427 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,560 Let's go, Jessica. Why are you... Come on, come on, come on. 428 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,520 Excuse me. I'm a teacher. Thanks. 429 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,440 [Whistle Blows] 430 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,880 Let's go! Let's go! 431 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,560 Where are you goin', Landers? 432 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,440 Landers! 433 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,760 So, in summation, Lysander loves Hermia, 434 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,640 who loves Lysander but is betrothed to Demetrius, 435 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,520 who in turn is the object of Helena's affection. 436 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,960 [Laughing] Now do you see the fun of it? 437 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,360 It's just all hell done break loose. 438 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,240 Mickey Rourke said a wonderful thing about having fun. 439 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,600 He was at some big soiree that Liza Minnelli was throwing... 440 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,480 Mr. Landers, how nice of you to join us. 441 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,760 And thanks for not showering. What a super instinct. 442 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,680 The secret to all this, you see, 443 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,360 is that our four young lovers... 444 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,520 are not as in control of their romantic destinies as they think. 445 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,960 Because in the woods we have what? 446 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,240 - Fairies. - Fairies! Fairies! 447 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,640 Spirits! Spirits. 448 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,280 [Forrest-Oates Giggles] 449 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:42,480 Specifically, Titania, Oberon and Puck. 450 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,440 - Little Steve. - Steven. 451 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,280 Who delight in manipulating their human counterparts... 452 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,200 for sport. 453 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:54,280 It really is fun to see a bunch of fairies being played... 454 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,680 [All Laughing] 455 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,080 Holy shit, Little Steve, you've got wings! 456 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:03,640 - Well, you got fairy dust coming out of your ass. - Let's stir up some trouble. 457 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:08,160 O fair Hermia, thou art so incredibly hot and stuff. 458 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,960 - Hey, Red, follow us. - You can't see us, but you'll do what we say. 459 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,840 Suckers. 460 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,760 [Laughing] 461 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,200 Yo, dude, somebody's scammin' on your chick. 462 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,560 Time to kick some ass. Heh heh heh! 463 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,440 Demetrius, what say you? 464 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,640 Relent, sweet Hermia, and you, Lysander. 465 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,520 Yield thy crazed title to my certain right. 466 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,760 - On guard. - What? There's no sword fighting in this play. 467 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,680 Well, now there is. 468 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,640 [Both Grunting] 469 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,200 Off you go. 470 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,120 Ohh! 471 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,040 [Whinnies] 472 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,400 - [Hermia Laughs] - [Demetrius Groans] 473 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,160 - [All Laughing] - When it rains, it pours. 474 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,520 Mr. Landers! [Chuckles] 475 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,560 - [Students Laughing] - Are we having R.E.M.? 476 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,320 Musical Shakespeare? Calling my sister? 477 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,240 She's helping me out. 478 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,440 - My sister? - Yeah. She knows what she's doing. 479 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,800 Whatever. Berke, this isn't about her. 480 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,680 This is about you running after Allison, 481 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,120 and I'm sorry, but it's bullshit. 482 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,080 See you out there. 483 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,000 That's it. 484 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,880 We gotta find our boy somebody, quick. 485 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,760 You don't just arbitrarily replace someone's soul mate. 486 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,920 Look at that old lady from Titanic. She ain't never gon' get over that. 487 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,320 I'm not just talking about anybody. 488 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,200 You still take shop with Dora Lynn Tissdale, right? 489 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:57,440 Yeah. Last week she nearly took out half the class with a nail gun. 490 00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,480 So she's a bit clumsy. 491 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:04,160 Thanks to good old Dora Lynn, Dickie Bergwell has to take a crap standing up. 492 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,240 Dennis, we're not asking her... 493 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,120 to build an apartment complex, are we? 494 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,520 What makes you think she's gonna do it? 495 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,400 That's your problem, all right? I'll take care of Berke. 496 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:18,560 Dennis heard it firsthand. The girl's completely into you. 497 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,920 No, that's bullshit. 498 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:25,760 Why would I make this up? I'm presenting you here with a golden opportunity. 499 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,320 The Stanley Cup of blind dates. 500 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,240 New Zealand's gift to Rosner High. 501 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,120 I mean, those eyes, that mouth, the rack. 502 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,040 [Berke] Aren't you forgetting something? 503 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,920 - Ohh! - [Felix] Okay, she's a little accident prone. 504 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,160 [Berke] The girl's a walking disaster zone. 505 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,560 Wherever she goes, bad shit happens. 506 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,480 [Girl] Oh, my God! 507 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,600 [Berke] I mean, weird bad shit happens. 508 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,560 She missed six years of high school. 509 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,440 - She was in a coma, for Christ's sake. - [Groans] 510 00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,360 - Berke, she's beautiful. - Yeah. 511 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,280 - She's built. - Yeah. 512 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,160 And apparently she's totally willing to lower her standards, 513 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,080 so I really don't see anything wrong with this. 514 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,440 It's your turn to get the ball. 515 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,240 I'm not getting the ball. You get the ball. 516 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,160 [Whines] 517 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,320 Hey, uh, Dora Lynn? 518 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,240 Dora. 519 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,440 - Kinda got this favor to ask you. - [Yelling] 520 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,320 - Favor? What kind of favor? - [Yelling Continues] 521 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,160 - [Girl] Just roll! - [Fire Extinguisher Spraying] 522 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,320 Berke, don't be nervous. 523 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,240 I'm here because I want to be. 524 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,200 Me too. 525 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,000 We never really had a chance to talk. 526 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,080 Well, that had a lot to do with the fact that I was busy with Allison... 527 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,400 and you kinda had your hands full with the whole, uh... 528 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,480 - Coma thing? - Yeah. 529 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,400 - Yeah. - Yeah. 530 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,320 You know, Berke, 531 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,880 it's all about new beginnings. 532 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,760 That stuff about me being bad luck? Ancient history. 533 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:05,520 I'm moving on with my life, and you're moving on with yours. 534 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:07,960 Sorry. 535 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,360 Would you excuse me for one minute? 536 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,440 I kinda have to... 537 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,320 - Pee? - Yeah. 538 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,960 - Okay. - OkaY. 539 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,680 Waitress, can I have some more tea? 540 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,640 I love this song! 541 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,360 Aaah! 542 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,000 Tits! Whoa! 543 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,920 Ohh! [Spits] 544 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,960 [Patrons Gasping] 545 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,760 - ## [Dissonant Chord] - Ohh! Ohh! 546 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,680 Ohh! Ohh! 547 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,560 - [Fire Alarm Bell Ringing] - [Shouting In Japanese] 548 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,760 Check, please! 549 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,720 # I'm dreaming of a boy # 550 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,600 #A very special guy # 551 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,400 # I wish that I could pluck # 552 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,240 #A fairy from the sky # 553 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,040 #To cast a spell upon my pride and joy # 554 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,440 # I'm dreaming of a very special boy ## 555 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,360 Time. Time. 556 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,720 [Chuckling] It's just not very good. 557 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,360 I could lie to you, but I would do you a disservice, 558 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,280 because it's just bad. 559 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,200 You've got to commit. 560 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,800 [Belting] # I'm dreaming of a boy A very special guy # 561 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,080 And then, "I wish that I could pluck!" Pluck! I wanna see you pluck it! 562 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,960 You know what I mean? We'll talk about it later. 563 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,880 Enter Theseus. 564 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,800 Now, attendants, 565 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,040 a rogue suitor... 566 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,360 is spooning with the master's daughter. 567 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,640 Well, this is totally scandalous. 568 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,760 You must look shocked, amazed. Let's see you look shocked. 569 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,160 I said shocked, Mr. Landers, not constipated. 570 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,120 [All Laughing] 571 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,200 Oh, my dear God. Go, Del. 572 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,040 Go bid the huntsmen. Wake them with their horns. 573 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,440 Hold it. Yes, um... 574 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,800 Um, you'd tell me if you'd had a stroke. 575 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,040 What? 576 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,960 What? 577 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,400 Are you lost? 578 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,200 Um, no, actually, I signed up for stage crew and I... 579 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,120 Stage crew? 580 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,680 Then shouldn't you be over there? 581 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,040 [Moaning] 582 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,320 Oh, right. 583 00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,640 My lord, I shall reply amazedly. 584 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,760 Half sleep, half waken, I came with Hermia hither. 585 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,120 Our intent was to be gone from Athens, 586 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,120 where we might, without the peril of Athenian law, 587 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,040 be wed. 588 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,960 Ah-ah-ah. 589 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,880 Save it for show night, Wong. 590 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,800 Sorry, Striker. 591 00:33:50,880 --> 00:34:00,920 # Music / Sound # 592 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,040 [Groans] 593 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,520 - [Grunts] - [Gasps] 594 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,720 But if some stranger had dazzled his way into my ex-girlfriend's fancies, 595 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,080 I'd probably be doing the same thing. 596 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,640 Only I'd have a bigger part. 597 00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:39,560 You dropped your sword. 598 00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,920 - Substitution. - Sorry, sir. There was a big accident. 599 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,680 You are so lucky I am not Bobby Knight. 600 00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:10,560 We got play-offs next week, and you've got an obligation to the team. 601 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,440 - Now get out there. - Yes, sir! 602 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,320 [P.A. Announcer] Berke Landers! 603 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,800 [Boy] Hey, Landers! Nice ass! 604 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,360 I'm gonna go now. 605 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,560 - [Berke] I'll see you guys later. - Have a good night. 606 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,960 ## [Piano] 607 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,960 Don't stop because of me. 608 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,760 Sorry. I just never get to play a real piano at home. 609 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,360 So, you've been a busy guy lately. 610 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,280 Yeah, dating a pyromaniac, showing my ass in public. 611 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,600 Well, it's all in the name of love, right? 612 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,240 Right. 613 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,800 Play me something. 614 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,960 - No. - Come on. It sounded good. 615 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,880 I'm embarrassed. 616 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,080 I love writing songs, but it... [Sighs] 617 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,000 What's the problem? 618 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:27,320 Well, you were at the audition, Berke. Forrest-Oates hated my song. 619 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,320 Well, 620 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,000 I admired you for putting yourself out there like that, 621 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,200 and, uh, you know, for whatever it's worth, 622 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,120 I thought it was a really nice song. 623 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,960 Thanks. 624 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,520 This is a song I wrote. 625 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,680 - ## [Picking Out Notes] - # B, C # 626 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,280 - # D, E, F, G # - Oh, God! [Giggles] 627 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,840 Bring it on. 628 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:01,840 [Together] # H, I, J, K, L-M-N-O, P ## 629 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,640 ## [Continues, Full Chords] 630 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,120 Show-off. 631 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,320 [Phone Rings] 632 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,200 - Berke. - Hey, Felix. 633 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,080 How do you feel about half-naked women? 634 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,880 Suffice to say, Dennis and I, we discussed it... 635 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,720 and decided that this is exactly what you need. 636 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,520 [Woman On Loud speaker] We have a very special guest with us tonight, 637 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:58,200 a young man recently jilted by his longtime lady love. 638 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,400 Hey, see you later, Casanova. 639 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,480 Ohh! [Laughs] 640 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,560 - [Strippers Chattering] - Hi. 641 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,720 - I got something for you. - Oh, yeah! 642 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,600 - What's that? - [Woman On Loud speaker] It's Monday Madness, people. 643 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,800 You know what that means. 644 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,760 - [Grunts] - [Strippers] Whoo! 645 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:26,880 [Laughs] 646 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,160 Behold my majestic, corseted form! 647 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:36,440 Police! I want to see some I.D. S, and I want to see them quick! 648 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,360 - Oh, my God! - Sorry! 649 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,280 [Patrons, Strippers Screaming, Shouting] 650 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:52,120 Hey, can somebody get me down? Please? 651 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,280 [Berke] Jesus, Mother of God! 652 00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,680 I must say, you surprised us, Berke. 653 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,560 It's not every day you get a wake-up call from the cops... 654 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,440 saying your son's been pinched in a sex club raid. 655 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,320 That said, your father and I have discussed it... 656 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,560 - And we'd just like to say... - We are so incredibly proud of you. 657 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,480 What? 658 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,400 For getting on with your life. 659 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,720 Most kids your age are way ill-equipped to deal with heartache. 660 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,560 But not you, mister. You got right back on that horse. 661 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,120 - Or should I say, suspension harness. - Stop it. 662 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,480 I just got arrested. Shouldn't you be, like, pissed or something? 663 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,880 Why? Sexual curiosity is perfectly natural. 664 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,720 - We just had no idea you were so kinky. - Yeah. 665 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,640 Hey, who's up for frozen yogurt? 666 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:37,560 Ooh, sounds good to me. 667 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:41,400 Well, then again, Berke may want to go home and polish the rocket. 668 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,320 Yogurt's good. 669 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,000 Okay. 670 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,680 Okay, Dennis. 671 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,080 - What? - Bring her up. 672 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,000 [Grunting, Giggling] 673 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,120 Ladies and gentlemen, 674 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,760 introducing prisoner number 6943. 675 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,800 Bravo, Landers, bravo. 676 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,040 You know, you do take a stunning picture. 677 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,200 - [Chuckles] - Striker, I'd be careful about that accent. 678 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,920 You're beginning to sound a lot like Mary Poppins. 679 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,000 Look, I don't know what you're blathering about, but if I were you... 680 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,320 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 681 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,960 - What? - Are you wearing makeup? 682 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,480 That's it. 683 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,280 - Ooh. - [Striker Grunts] 684 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,800 Careful, Landers. I do believe you are trifling with danger. 685 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,400 Who keeps nunchucks in their pants? 686 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:40,960 - Ohh! - [Groans] 687 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,240 - [Peter Groans] Jesus! - Peter Wong is down! 688 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,240 Look on the bright side, Wong. 689 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,480 You're a singer, not a dancer. 690 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,680 I'll kill you, you ass-kissing, pretentious, swing-town twit! 691 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:58,120 This is my theater! My show! 692 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,240 Forrest-Oates is my special buddy! 693 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,160 - That was intense. - [Peter Wailing] 694 00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:07,640 I know. I've never seen bone poke through skin like that before. 695 00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:11,200 - Everything's going to be fine, according to the paramedics. - [Wailing Continues] 696 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,120 In fact, Peter will be back on his feet in no time. 697 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,760 [Peter Shrieks] 698 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,680 Still, 699 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:22,720 in the words of the wonderful Kevin Spacey, the show must go on. 700 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,520 So since curtain is, indeed, in three days, 701 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,400 I'm now accepting offers for volunteers for the role of Lysander. 702 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,120 Ooh-ooh! 703 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,600 - Put your hand down, Little Steve! - Ooh. 704 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,800 N-No, Striker, you already have a role. 705 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:39,640 Yes, I know, but I was wanting to nominate someone. 706 00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:43,480 [Chuckling] Oh. Well, that's very flattering, indeed. 707 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:47,720 But I don't think a man of 34 can possibly keep up with you youngsters. 708 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,480 Actually, I was referring to... 709 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,240 Berke Landers. 710 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,880 [Students Murmuring] 711 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,520 Oh! Well, th... that's an intriguing... thought. 712 00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,480 Any other ideas? 713 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,360 One I might use? Put your hand down, Little Steve! 714 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:07,320 He's green, to be sure, but he does demonstrate a certain... enthusiasm. 715 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,240 - I'm in. - [Students Gasp] 716 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,760 - You're in? - Yeah, I'm in. 717 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,640 Jessica, call Domino's. We'll be here a while. 718 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:20,240 And keep icing your front bum! 719 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,960 Swelling continues when you don't ice, and I need you. 720 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,880 Not really. 721 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,760 How many swords do we have? 722 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,640 - Seven. - Eight. 723 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:35,040 - I swear, if Allison doesn't appreciate this... - Then what? 724 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,000 Anyway, I've heard you do the dialogue. You're fine. 725 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,920 - Yeah, but what about the singing? - Well, the music sucks. 726 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,840 Especially my song. 727 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,760 Well, why don't you rewrite it? 728 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,640 Oh, Forrest-Oates would never go for it. 729 00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:53,200 You're the best one in the play. You know more about this stuff than he does. 730 00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,480 Yeah, but he doesn't see it that way. 731 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,280 Forrest-Oates just cast me as a lead. 732 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,200 He's an idiot, Allison. 733 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,280 My name... 734 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:07,240 is Kelly. 735 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,360 - What'd I say? - Allison. 736 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,960 - No, I didn't. - Yeah, you did. 737 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,160 - I'm sorry. - Prepare to die. 738 00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:16,240 Maybe y-you shouldn't be playing with that. 739 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,240 Wh... Com... Put it down. 740 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,640 Put it... K-Kelly. 741 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:25,920 Aaaah! 742 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,720 We have an 18-year-old white male with an anterior puncture wound to his left arm. 743 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:33,040 - I'm so sorry, Berke. I thought it was a prop. - I wanna see it. 744 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,920 - No, don't look at it. - It's pretty bad, isn't it? 745 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,800 No, i-it's fine. Here, listen to me, Berke. 746 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,680 The doctor's gonna fix your arm, I'm gonna help you rehearse, 747 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,560 and you're gonna be the best Lysander ever. 748 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,440 Your arm, it's really not that... Oh, my God! Ohh! 749 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:51,400 ## 750 00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:15,120 Felix, it's Kelly. 751 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,000 - She's helping me out with the part. - Okay, okay, okay. 752 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,920 Just keep an eye on her, man. 753 00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,040 'Cause some of those theater guys, they have this reputation of being kinda... 754 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,920 - Gay? - See, that's what they want you to think. 755 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,800 [Berke] I'll keep an eye on her. 756 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,800 - So, when do your parents leave for this affiliate stuff? - Uh, today. 757 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,040 - Don't even think about it. - What? 758 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,440 Felix, I can hear your brain planning a party. No. 759 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,240 I'll see you guys la... I gotta get something. 760 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,080 - Hey, why is he going into the music store? - I don't know. 761 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,960 He's probably buying tap shoes or some shit like that, 762 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,840 which only further demonstrates my point, my friend. 763 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,240 - That man is in dire need of a party. - [Loud Slurping] 764 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,160 - [Knock On Door] - Yes? 765 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:22,800 Hi. I know you're busy, but I just wanna talk to you for one second. 766 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:26,120 Oh, Miss Woods, please come in... Ohh. 767 00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,440 - Fun hair clip. - Hmm. 768 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,040 I wanted to talk to you about my song. 769 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,080 Oh, "Pocketful of Dreams." 770 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:36,680 I originally wrote that tune for Miss Diana Ross. 771 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:43,080 I've written a very groovy song! I think you'd li... Oh! 772 00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,800 That's my hand, buddy! Aah! Miss Ross! 773 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:49,320 Miss Ross! Diana! 774 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,600 Unfortunately, the lawyers got involved, 775 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,920 and then bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. 776 00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:00,240 And then, uh, the next thing you know... Phtt! No deal. 777 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:04,160 - It's a great song. I love singing it. - Oh, it was fun to write. 778 00:46:04,240 --> 00:46:07,840 It's just that I was wondering if you... if you wouldn't mind... 779 00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,040 if I made a few suggestions. 780 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,680 You've made s-some suggestions? 781 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:14,600 "O weary night, 782 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,120 abate thy hours." 783 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:21,680 Well, I-I just figured, you know, like you said, the song really isn't working. 784 00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:23,520 [Chuckling] 785 00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,880 I'd like you to do me a favor, if you will, Miss Woods. 786 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,760 I'd like you to read this poster and tell me what it says at the bottom. 787 00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,440 "No food or drink allowed in the auditorium at any time." 788 00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:37,880 It says, " 12 original songs by Dr. Desmond Forrest-Oates." 789 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:41,440 - Oh. That part. - Yes, that part. 790 00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,920 I'll tell you what it doesn't say. 791 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,880 It doesn't say, "Additional lyrics by Little Miss Sassy-Pants." 792 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,400 You know, some of those lyrics are Shakespeare's. 793 00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:52,640 Ah. And what was the last tune you hummed from Macbeth? 794 00:46:52,720 --> 00:46:56,160 Bill Shakespeare is a wonderful poet, 795 00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,400 but Burt Bacharach he ain't. 796 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,360 [Whispers] I'll go. 797 00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,360 - Sorry I'm late. - That's okay. 798 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,280 - I was just getting lucky. - Chester! 799 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,840 We need... We need to find this dog a date. 800 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,120 - [Growls] - So, uh, how was... how was Forrest-Oates? 801 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,440 A bigger asshole than I thought. 802 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:19,440 - Maybe this will make you feel a little better. - A gift? Berke. 803 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,840 First we rehearse, okay? 804 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,680 - Okay. - All right. 805 00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:32,920 [Both] # So that's the girl that I've got to have # 806 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,920 # I'll tell you why... ## 807 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,040 ## [Keyboard Off] 808 00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,440 It's 21 hours until the play, 809 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,840 and I'm actually starting to suck more. 810 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,840 Look, let's just put the songs aside for a second. 811 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,560 We'll work on some dialogue. 812 00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,720 We're at the point where Theseus has just woken everybody up. 813 00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,560 All right. 814 00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,120 - Hi. - Hi. 815 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,320 [Both Chuckling] 816 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:07,840 Okay, this scene's between you and Hermia. 817 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:11,000 - So pretend I'm Allison, okay? - Sure. 818 00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,880 As difficult as that might be. 819 00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:15,800 No, go ahead. 820 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,880 So Theseus says, 821 00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,760 "Go, wake them with their horns." 822 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,200 And Hermia says, 823 00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,800 "Methinks I see things with parted eye, 824 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:31,920 when everything seems double." 825 00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,920 Okay, I got it. 826 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:42,160 My lord, I reply amazedly, 827 00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:45,200 half asleep, half awake. 828 00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:49,080 I came with Hermia hither. 829 00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:56,400 - Our intent is to leave Athens... - Mm-hmm. 830 00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,400 Where we may be married. 831 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,440 And then there's the kiss... 832 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,520 which is gonna be with Allison. 833 00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,480 Right. 834 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,680 But in this case... 835 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:16,920 [Phone Rings] 836 00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,040 [Sighs] Shit. 837 00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:21,720 - What? - Hey, let me take a shot in the dark. 838 00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,200 - Berke's there, right? - Felix, where are you? 839 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,240 Big party. Hey, listen. 840 00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:31,000 Tell Berke he might want to stop by because there's some people who've been asking about him. 841 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,920 We gotta go to your house. 842 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,560 - Turnout's not half bad. - Where's Felix? 843 00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,560 Dude, you should really breathe, man. 844 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,840 I mean, you look like you're gonna stroke out. 845 00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:46,080 Look, I'm gonna look for him over here, okay? 846 00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:48,360 You realize I'm going to kill him. 847 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,280 Felix! 848 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,360 - Felix! - If it isn't my beauteous co-star. 849 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,000 - Have you seen my brother Felix? - Fair Helena. 850 00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:01,120 So tense. A few pre-show jitters perhaps? 851 00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:05,400 Or maybe some love pangs for a certain you-know-who. 852 00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,680 - You! - Berke! What's up? 853 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,560 - So what do you think, huh? - What do I think? What do I think? 854 00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:14,800 - What are you talking about? - I don't know what you girls see in this undereducated wank. 855 00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,880 Perhaps you can take me out to the veranda... 856 00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,600 and... edify me. 857 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,000 Shit, it's Striker. 858 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,800 - I'll see you at the show. - What the hell is going on? 859 00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:28,560 Nothing. Just a bit of tomfoolery. 860 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:32,120 - Felix, I'm handling it. - No, you're being handled by leather pants here. 861 00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,320 - There's a difference. - I think you better go. 862 00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:37,200 Oh, come on. Do you really think I'd fool around on Allison? 863 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,720 You, of all people, should know how damnable that would be. 864 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,640 Where's the grub? This way? Thank you. 865 00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,520 [Grunts] Guys. 866 00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,640 Is it just me, or does this punch taste kind of funky? 867 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:57,560 There's chunks. 868 00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,800 Hi. 869 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,200 I-I've been wondering where you've been. 870 00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:09,040 We have to talk about Striker. 871 00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:13,240 No, no. You will stop at nothing, will you? 872 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:18,320 Allison. Allison. 873 00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:23,280 [Moaning] 874 00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,680 - Striker? - Allison! 875 00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:28,520 Maggie. 876 00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,800 Allison, I'm-I'm so sorry. 877 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:36,280 You can all just go to hell. 878 00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,200 Hey, you. 879 00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:56,280 [Sighs] Sorry about this whole party thing. 880 00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:58,360 My brother is kind of an asshole. 881 00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:00,280 Kind of? 882 00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,960 I'm seriously considering telling Mom where he keeps his porn. 883 00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,160 That was a joke. 884 00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,560 Kelly, why do you hang out with me? 885 00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,400 I mean, you probably have better things to do... 886 00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:20,080 than to waste your time with a hapless loser. 887 00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:23,480 - You're not a loser, Berke. - Allison thinks so. 888 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,520 [Whispers] Allison's an idiot. 889 00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,640 I have done... 890 00:52:29,720 --> 00:52:33,400 absolutely everything for that girl. 891 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,800 She just doesn't get it. 892 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,680 [Bird Calling] 893 00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,240 I can't do this. 894 00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,360 Kelly, I think you're great, but we can't... we can't do this. 895 00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,240 You're Felix's little sister. 896 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:29,960 Screw you. 897 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:33,520 Kelly, wait a second. That came out wrong! 898 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,480 - What was that? - Felix, it's not what you think. 899 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:45,240 - What the hell has gotten into you? - Aah. 900 00:53:47,240 --> 00:53:51,520 Well, well! Why am I suddenly glad we left the conference early? 901 00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:54,400 I don't recall anything about a party, Berke. 902 00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:57,080 We could have sprung for a deejay. 903 00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:59,720 Make sure and put the furniture back when you're done. 904 00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:04,080 Mom, Dad, Reverend's daughterJudy just took a dump in our pool, 905 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:06,240 and you want to spring for a deejay? 906 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:08,840 That's what makes us so fly! 907 00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,320 We trust you. 908 00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:14,760 You're my parents, for God's sakes. Stop trusting me! 909 00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,440 - PoorJudy. - I'll go get the skimmer. 910 00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,440 Well, this is pretty interesting. 911 00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,120 - It was nothing. - Kelly, I was there. 912 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:45,400 He kissed you, and I don't know why he did it. 913 00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:49,360 - Berke's pretty screwed up right now, but... - Look, I kissed him too. 914 00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:56,320 And yes, he is screwed up and he likes someone else, and it's a problem. 915 00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:59,200 But, Felix, it's my problem. 916 00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:09,000 Look, you'd know I'd be lying if I said I was happy about this. 917 00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:18,000 But, um, if Berke can't see what an amazing person you are, 918 00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,360 then I'd say that he's the one with the problem. 919 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:26,840 Good night. 920 00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:53,840 [On Tape] Uh, hey, it's me. It's Berke. 921 00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:57,480 Just wanted to say thanks for all your help. 922 00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:01,920 The guy at the music store said that songwriters use these things, so... 923 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:06,560 If anyone can fix Forrest-Oates' song, it's-it's definitely you. 924 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:10,320 Just know that I-I believe in you, Kelly. 925 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,320 Um... break a leg. 926 00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,920 - Hey, let's mess with the mortals one more time. - [Giggling] 927 00:56:56,960 --> 00:57:01,000 Boyfriend will be trippin' on this. 928 00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:03,520 One more dose for Mr. Morose. 929 00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:05,800 Time for a little wake-up call. 930 00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,200 And I'm outta here. 931 00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:15,560 And in the woods, where the scents are sweet, 932 00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:18,840 there my Lysander and myself shall meet. 933 00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,880 Maybe it's time you started dreaming of someone else. 934 00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,960 Berke. You were my first. 935 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,120 No one's ever gonna replace you. 936 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,640 I've dazzled my way into your ex-girlfriend's fancies. 937 00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,480 You were the quintessential high school couple. 938 00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:45,920 She's not your girlfriend anymore, man. 939 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:50,680 I'm moving on with my life, and you're moving on with yours. 940 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,560 - Are we freaking you out? - Yeah, we're freaking him out. 941 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,120 [Jumbled Voices Speaking At Once] 942 00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:58,760 [Screams] 943 00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:06,920 Uh, Dr. Forrest-Oates, the attendants' costumes just arrived. 944 00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:08,840 Thank Buddha. 945 00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:12,800 And, uh, your wife called. She might not make it to tonight's performance. 946 00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:14,760 Did she say why? 947 00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,600 It was difficult to understand through the slur. 948 00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,600 Uh, and, sir? There is one more thing. 949 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,280 Del Molden, Jr. Is sick. 950 00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:27,640 My dance partner? Shit. 951 00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:30,480 That's enough out of you, muck mouth! 952 00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:34,640 Now, apparently he got hold of some tainted fruit punch last night... 953 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,560 and won't be able to perform. 954 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:40,520 Not that it matters at all because the entire production is going down in flames, so... 955 00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:42,720 [Chuckling] Oh. 956 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,840 That having been said, 957 00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:48,880 I'm curious if anyone feels that they can fill the little booze hound's place. 958 00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:52,760 Good. Let me ask you this. 959 00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:56,480 Is there anyone who, atall, is good on their feet? 960 00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,800 A shuffle, or a turn, or an attitude of any kind. 961 00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:01,720 With a pose. 962 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,600 Well, uh... [Clears Throat] 963 00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:06,480 Sometimes Coach Hibble calls me Crazy Legs. 964 00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,240 Oh, does he? 965 00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,200 Wait. Wait a second. 966 00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:17,720 All right, maybe if you took a half step back before the spin. 967 00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,360 Okay, just follow my lead. 968 00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,200 I learnt this from watching in the wings. 969 00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,160 Wow! 970 00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:28,200 - Felix! - Kelly, shouldn't you be getting ready? 971 00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:30,960 I am. I'm in makeup. 972 00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,840 Listen, I need you to do a favor for me. 973 00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,800 [Man] Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. 974 00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:43,440 The performance is about to begin. 975 00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:45,360 It's over. 976 00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:48,160 After this one, I'll be directing on the streets. 977 00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:53,760 #All the doo-dah night All the doo-dah day # 978 00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,680 # Bet my money on a bobtail nag # 979 00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:59,320 # Somebody bet on the bay ## Ohh! 980 01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:02,960 Hey. 981 01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:04,920 Break a leg. 982 01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:07,280 [Instruments Tuning Up] 983 01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,600 Go ahead, Jessica. 984 01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:12,800 Raise the curtain on the tragedy that has befallen the Bard's greatest comedy. 985 01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,640 - I'm praying for you, sir. - Thanks. 986 01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:27,800 # Did ya ever read a Shakespeare play # 987 01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:31,960 - # Ooh-ooh # - #And never understand a word they say # 988 01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:36,000 - #Ahh-ahh # - #Well, tonight we're gonna make things clear # 989 01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,160 # 'Cause Shakespeare's dead # 990 01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:41,360 # But we're all here # 991 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,760 [Hooting, Cheering] 992 01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:51,520 #About this chick named Hermia # 993 01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:57,120 #They said, Hermia please be my girl # 994 01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,400 # In the night the fairies came to play # 995 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,560 # So tonight we have our fun # 996 01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:08,080 - # 'Cause I love him # - #And I love her # 997 01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:10,680 # If only her best friend he'd prefer # 998 01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,200 #And so the fairies all hatched a scheme # 999 01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:31,120 [Gasps] 1000 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,160 Look, there's Helena. 1001 01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,360 Oh, fair Helena. 1002 01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:45,320 Call you me fair? That fair again unsay. 1003 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,680 - Doesn't Kelly look beautiful? - Mmm. 1004 01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,760 Demetrius and Lysander love your fair, Hermia. 1005 01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:55,240 - Oh, happy fair. - [Applauding] 1006 01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:03,960 - Yeah, baby. - Do it. 1007 01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,920 # It's fun to be a fairy and fly from town to town # 1008 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:15,560 # Our fairy dust will keep you up You won't come down # 1009 01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,920 #Yeah, it's fun to be a fairy and wear such pretty things # 1010 01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:22,840 # It's fun to carry love juice on your fairy wings, yeah # 1011 01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:26,120 #What fools these mortals be # 1012 01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:29,520 #That try to play at love and make a comedy, yeah # 1013 01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,600 #Why can't these mortals learn # 1014 01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,880 #A fairy up above will never crash and burn # 1015 01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:54,520 - # It's fun to be a fairy ## - It's fairy power! 1016 01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,480 [Cheering] 1017 01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:03,320 That was, uh... That was okay! 1018 01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,880 Relent... sweet Hermia. 1019 01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:10,520 And, Lysander, yield thy crazed title... 1020 01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:13,080 to my certain right. 1021 01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:15,720 You have her father's love, Demetrius. 1022 01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:18,760 Let me have Hermia's. 1023 01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,080 Do you marry him? 1024 01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,000 Shit box. 1025 01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:24,920 - Wanker. - Dickweed. 1026 01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:28,240 It's so real, you can almost feel the tension. 1027 01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:30,600 Word. 1028 01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:33,360 #Whoo-ooh-ooh Why won't you love me # 1029 01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:38,320 #Whoo-ooh-ooh Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh # 1030 01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:42,480 - #There's a girl # - #Who says she don't love me # 1031 01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:51,800 - # I'll tell you why # - # She's everything a girl ought to be # 1032 01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,000 - #And that is why # - # I can't understand # 1033 01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,680 #Why she don't love me No # 1034 01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:58,840 # Hermia # 1035 01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,080 # I'll make you love me # 1036 01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,040 # Hermia # 1037 01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,360 # I'll make you care # 1038 01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:08,520 # Never before has a girl # 1039 01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:13,640 # I'm begging Hermia # 1040 01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,600 # Please love me # 1041 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:17,680 - Bitch. - Pansy. 1042 01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:22,800 - Asshole. - [Growls] 1043 01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:35,400 Hmm. 1044 01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:39,320 I'll apply to your eye a gentle lover's remedy. 1045 01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:41,440 And when thou wakest, 1046 01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:43,840 thou will takest true delight... 1047 01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:47,560 in the sight of thy true lover's eye. 1048 01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,360 Okay, people, we're back in 20. 1049 01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:57,520 Berke, Berke, I, um, I want to talk to you about something. 1050 01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,840 - Can we go somewhere? - Yeah. 1051 01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:01,760 Thank you. 1052 01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:08,320 Well. 1053 01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:11,320 - [Sighs] I could use a drink. - Yeah. 1054 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:14,160 Kaisha, you're just not equipped to deal with this. I'm talking equipment. 1055 01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:16,560 - Hardware. We're talking 800 number. - She wants a blow-up doll. 1056 01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:18,840 I called them once for advice. 1057 01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:20,760 Really? 1058 01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:23,640 Yeah, I had zits on my balls. 1059 01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,480 They're gone now. 1060 01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:31,120 Gentlemen, I'm here for a favor. 1061 01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:33,480 In act four, scene one, 1062 01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:36,360 there's a particular effects cue. 1063 01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:39,280 Ah, the Volk Tube Crescendo. 1064 01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:41,400 Right. Is this the one? 1065 01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:44,680 Uh, no. That one could take out a village. 1066 01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:47,600 Hmm. I see. 1067 01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:50,440 Well, I was wondering if you might be able... 1068 01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:53,800 to detonate it a bit... early. 1069 01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:56,280 Isn't that before Mr. Lander's cross? 1070 01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:58,320 Look, all it will do is scare him. 1071 01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:00,760 I can signal you by raising my sword like this. 1072 01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:06,680 Look, about this whole thing with Striker. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. 1073 01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:10,640 I'm sorry you had to find out like that. It kinda sucked. 1074 01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:15,560 Look, I know I don't deserve to ask you anything right now, but... 1075 01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:18,960 if I could just have one wish, 1076 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:22,960 it would be that we could go back to the way things were. 1077 01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:24,880 You know? 1078 01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:28,360 - I mean, the friends part. - Yeah, sure. 1079 01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:33,480 And as for the rest of it, well, 1080 01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,840 we'll just leave it up to fate. 1081 01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:52,640 Did I mention there was $47 in it for you? 1082 01:06:52,680 --> 01:06:55,320 Not bad. 1083 01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:59,960 Hmm. I believe, Mr. Scrumfeld, 1084 01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,800 we have an understanding. 1085 01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:06,680 Remember, gentlemen, when I raise my sword. 1086 01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:13,800 Hey, the-the music's been, uh, been good, 1087 01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,840 but, uh, you know that song, uh, "Pocketful of Dreams"? 1088 01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:19,880 - Down here we call it "Pocketful of Ass." - Yeah, that's the one. 1089 01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:22,120 Listen, there's been a change of plans. 1090 01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:25,200 [Bells Chiming] 1091 01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:27,440 Oh, this is different. 1092 01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:37,640 A spell had been cast, 1093 01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:39,520 the lovers sleep, 1094 01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:42,240 though in repose, 1095 01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:45,800 fair Helena's love for Demetrius grows. 1096 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:52,240 O weary night, 1097 01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:54,160 abate thy hours. 1098 01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:59,200 Steal me awhile from my own company. 1099 01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:16,600 #That you are here # 1100 01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:19,000 #You're mine # 1101 01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:21,400 #And all my fears # 1102 01:08:21,440 --> 01:08:23,760 #Are left behind # 1103 01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:26,040 # I float # 1104 01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:28,320 # On air # 1105 01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:31,720 #The nightingale sings # 1106 01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:42,600 Jessica! Jessica! 1107 01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:47,040 #And sleep perchance to dream # 1108 01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:50,600 # So I can see the face # 1109 01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:53,160 # I long to touch # 1110 01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,480 #To kiss # 1111 01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:58,920 # But only dreams # 1112 01:09:05,840 --> 01:09:09,360 # Shine softly on the boy # 1113 01:09:09,440 --> 01:09:13,160 # I long to see # 1114 01:09:34,440 --> 01:09:38,960 #And whisper to the evening star # 1115 01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:41,040 #They tell me love # 1116 01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:45,440 # Is just a dream away # 1117 01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:48,760 # Dream away # 1118 01:09:53,160 --> 01:09:55,720 [No Audible Dialogue] 1119 01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:24,800 #And maybe when he dreams # 1120 01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:30,440 # He'll dream of me # 1121 01:10:34,680 --> 01:10:36,760 # Oh-oh-oh-oh # 1122 01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:42,280 # Dream of me ## 1123 01:10:45,560 --> 01:10:47,440 [Man] Whoo! 1124 01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:05,640 Go bid the huntsmen. Wake them with... with their horns. 1125 01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:14,200 My lord, I shall reply amazedly, 1126 01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:16,520 half sleep, half waking. 1127 01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:18,440 I came with Hermia hither. 1128 01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:21,040 Our intent was to be gone from Athens so we might, 1129 01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:24,120 without the peril of Athenian law, be wed. 1130 01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:27,960 However... 1131 01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:30,800 - What? - "However"? 1132 01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:38,200 My lord, 1133 01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:40,240 we slept and slept, 1134 01:11:40,320 --> 01:11:42,240 as well you know. 1135 01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:44,720 Things did change, 1136 01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:47,640 as love did grow. 1137 01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:50,360 Although, 1138 01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:54,360 in ways fair Hermia's soul and mine shall forever intertwine. 1139 01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:58,920 Alas, we must forever part, 1140 01:11:58,960 --> 01:12:03,080 for lo, to another belongs this heart. 1141 01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:10,520 [Audience] Ahh! 1142 01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:24,200 [Loud Cheering] 1143 01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:26,120 Wait a second! 1144 01:12:26,160 --> 01:12:28,680 Wait a second. You can't do that. 1145 01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:32,440 You can't just change 400-year-old literature! 1146 01:12:32,480 --> 01:12:35,000 - It's not even supposed to rhyme! - [All Laughing] 1147 01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:37,720 - [Scattered Applause] - Fine. 1148 01:12:37,800 --> 01:12:40,240 I could do it too. I do not like it in a moat. 1149 01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:44,440 I do not like it in a boat. I do not like it in a car. How's that? 1150 01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:47,080 - [Cheering] - Boo! 1151 01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:49,440 Oh, stop cheering. 1152 01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:53,040 Stop cheering! 1153 01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:55,920 - Stop cheering! - Do it now! 1154 01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:58,640 - Stop... Whoa! - Oh! 1155 01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,040 Ohh-ohh-ohh! 1156 01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:03,920 [Screaming] 1157 01:13:09,440 --> 01:13:11,280 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1158 01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:17,080 [Applauding, Cheering Continue] 1159 01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:27,200 What is that? 1160 01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:29,160 It's applause, sir. 1161 01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:41,720 Thank you. Thank you! 1162 01:13:41,800 --> 01:13:44,280 [Shouting] Thank you! 1163 01:14:00,280 --> 01:14:02,600 Oh, my God. Are you crying? 1164 01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:04,840 No, you're just squeezing my puncture wound. 1165 01:14:10,640 --> 01:14:12,480 Mmm. 1166 01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:14,960 Make it a little more like this. 1167 01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:19,320 - You were trying to fly into my seat, weren't you? - No. 1168 01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:22,760 - Oh, come on. - Well, maybe just a little. 1169 01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:25,920 Oh, see, I knew it. You're so bad. I love it. 1170 01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:30,160 Oh, just... just hold on for one... second. 1171 01:14:30,200 --> 01:14:32,560 I'll be right back, okay? 1172 01:14:34,040 --> 01:14:36,240 So... 1173 01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:38,360 you and my sister, huh? 1174 01:14:38,440 --> 01:14:41,280 - You're not gonna hit me again, are you? - No. 1175 01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:44,240 But I'm not thrilled. All right, man? 1176 01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:47,720 But if it has to be somebody, 1177 01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:49,640 I'm kinda glad it's you. 1178 01:14:49,720 --> 01:14:51,720 Thanks. 1179 01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:55,960 - Hey, Kel. - Hey. 1180 01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:58,600 Good job tonight. You guys were good. You guys were funny. 1181 01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:01,200 - Thanks. - Listen, I gotta go. 1182 01:15:01,280 --> 01:15:03,320 - Oh, you and Dora Lynn. - Yeah. 1183 01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:05,640 Aren't you kind of worried about the whole... 1184 01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:08,120 Accident-prone? No, no. 1185 01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:11,240 I think Dora Lynn's about to have a change of luck. 1186 01:15:11,320 --> 01:15:13,920 Go, Felix. I'll see you guys later. 1187 01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:16,160 All right. Let's get some dim sum. 1188 01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:18,080 Bye, Berke. 1189 01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:20,960 Oh, my God. 1190 01:15:21,040 --> 01:15:23,120 That's okay. That's fine. 1191 01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:27,680 And he blew off that stage 20 feet at least. 1192 01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:29,600 And then she took off... 1193 01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:32,800 like this beautiful spaceship into the night. 1194 01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:41,440 Dude, we burned the shit out of his face. 1195 01:15:41,520 --> 01:15:43,840 Tomorrow night, same thing. 1196 01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:49,480 So my theatrical debut... 1197 01:15:49,560 --> 01:15:51,400 What did you think? 1198 01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:54,040 You came on pretty strong in that last act. 1199 01:15:54,080 --> 01:15:56,320 Yeah, I was good. 1200 01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:59,200 So, you know, we gotta do this again tomorrow night. 1201 01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:02,360 How do you think it's gonna end? 1202 01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:05,840 We could bring back the always popular Big Red song. 1203 01:16:05,920 --> 01:16:08,360 I'd rather be shot again with an arrow. 1204 01:16:08,440 --> 01:16:10,640 I thought it was a prop. 1205 01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:12,560 Yeah, yeah. 1206 01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:21,560 [Giggling] 1207 01:16:21,640 --> 01:16:26,480 # Do you remember the 21 st night of September # 1208 01:16:26,560 --> 01:16:31,120 # Love was changing the minds of pretenders # 1209 01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:34,320 #While chasing the clouds away # 1210 01:16:34,400 --> 01:16:35,920 # Hey-yeah, yeah # 1211 01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:38,200 # Our hearts were ringin' # 1212 01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:42,000 # In the keys that our souls were singin' # 1213 01:16:42,080 --> 01:16:45,200 #As we danced in the night Remember # 1214 01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:49,640 # How the stars stole the night away # 1215 01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:52,000 # Everybody, sing # 1216 01:16:52,040 --> 01:16:55,640 - # Ba-de-ya Say do you remember # - # Say that you remember # 1217 01:16:55,680 --> 01:16:59,120 - # Ba-de-ya Dancing in September # - #Yeah, whoo-ooh # 1218 01:16:59,200 --> 01:17:03,160 # Ba-de-ya Never was a cloudy day # 1219 01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:06,800 #There never There never, yeah # 1220 01:17:06,880 --> 01:17:10,280 # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # 1221 01:17:10,320 --> 01:17:13,560 - # Do you feel it Do you feel it # - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # 1222 01:17:13,640 --> 01:17:15,520 - # Hey # - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # 1223 01:17:15,600 --> 01:17:18,200 - # Ooh, ooh-ooh # - # Ba-da-ba-da-yea # 1224 01:17:18,280 --> 01:17:20,880 # Oh, somebody help me sing # 1225 01:17:20,960 --> 01:17:23,080 # My thoughts are with you # 1226 01:17:23,160 --> 01:17:25,840 # Holding hands with your heart to see you # 1227 01:17:37,720 --> 01:17:41,400 # Found the love that we shared in September # 1228 01:17:41,440 --> 01:17:45,680 # Only blue talk and love Remember # 1229 01:17:45,760 --> 01:17:50,040 #True love we share today # 1230 01:18:06,240 --> 01:18:08,280 - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # - # Hey # 1231 01:18:08,360 --> 01:18:10,520 - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # - # Do you feel it # 1232 01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:13,600 - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # - # Do you feel it, hey # 1233 01:18:13,680 --> 01:18:18,160 - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ba-de-ba-de-yea # - # Oh, bright # 1234 01:18:21,480 --> 01:18:24,680 #The bells were ringing # 1235 01:18:24,760 --> 01:18:28,040 # Our love was singing Mmm # 1236 01:18:28,080 --> 01:18:30,240 # Do you remember # 1237 01:18:30,320 --> 01:18:33,840 # Never a cloudy day # 1238 01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:36,320 # Oh, somebody help me sing # 1239 01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:38,840 - # Ba-de-ya Say do you remember # - #Yeah # 1240 01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:40,600 - # Say that you remember # - # Ba-de-ya # 1241 01:18:40,680 --> 01:18:44,640 - # Dancing in September Ba-de-ya # - # It never rains, rains # 1242 01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:50,120 # Never a cloudy day Ooh-ooh # 1243 01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,760 - # Sing it Uh, what you say now # - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # 1244 01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:58,720 - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # - #What you say now, ooh # 1245 01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:07,240 # Hey, hey # 1246 01:19:10,160 --> 01:19:12,280 # Come on # 1247 01:19:12,360 --> 01:19:15,240 # Sing it again Yeah-hey-hey # 1248 01:19:15,320 --> 01:19:20,200 - # Ba-de-yea # - # Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh # 1249 01:19:23,680 --> 01:19:26,840 # Sing it again Whoa, yeah # 1250 01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:29,720 - # Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya # - # Eh, eh, eh, eh # 1251 01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:36,400 # Ba-de-ba-de-yea ## 1252 01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:49,000 Done by (c) dCd / January 2015