1
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,977
Here's a little story I'd like to tell...
2
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:02,981
...about three best friends
and their first Noel.
3
00:01:03,815 --> 00:01:07,902
It begins right before Christmas 2001...
4
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:11,322
...when a young man named Ethan
became an orphan.
5
00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:14,742
His mama and papa
both tragically gone...
6
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:19,747
...it seemed for him
Christmas had sung its swan song.
7
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:22,292
As he sat alone on Christmas Eve...
8
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:25,003
...his friends came over
and forced him to leave.
9
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:27,463
They had to get Ethan out of his funk...
10
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,009
...so they went to a bar
and they got his ass drunk.
11
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:35,805
With tears and with sadness
they started to mend. Then they said:
12
00:01:35,972 --> 00:01:38,725
No more crying. This sad shit must end.
13
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:42,312
Christmas was about family,
but now it's about friends.
14
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,856
Thus began a new tradition.
15
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:47,609
The friends hung on Christmas
and fun was their mission.
16
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,153
Who's the baddest motherfucker
on Christmas day?
17
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:54,282
You knew.
18
00:01:54,657 --> 00:01:55,950
- Boom!
-What is it?
19
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,870
That shit holds a hundred songs
at one time.
20
00:01:59,037 --> 00:02:00,371
I got the new Dave Matthews
downloaded.
21
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,081
Oh, yeah. Ricky Martin.
22
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:03,875
That guy slays ass.
23
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:07,879
They chilled with each other,
did all sorts of stuff.
24
00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:10,340
They drank many drinks,
they fucked shit up.
25
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:11,549
Light his dick.
26
00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,516
Then one fateful night, 2008...
27
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,770
...they realized that Christmas
can be even more great.
28
00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:26,648
That eve at the bar,
they saw quite a sight.
29
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,817
Fellow seekers of joy
having one crazy night.
30
00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:32,570
And there was a woman, so pretty to all.
31
00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:35,365
They worked up the courage,
proceeded to call.
32
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:38,743
Excuse me.
-Ethan said. And she turned with a fright.
33
00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:41,329
Where were you guys partying
earlier tonight?
34
00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:44,165
Ata place so great
words cannot describe...
35
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,417
...with so many drinks for one to imbibe.
36
00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,128
With so many drugs,
I can't believe I survived.
37
00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,588
What the fuck...
38
00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:51,923
Ethan asked.
39
00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:53,841
...is this party called?
40
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,468
Why, you haven't heard?
41
00:02:55,635 --> 00:02:57,804
It's the Nutcracker Ball.
42
00:02:58,805 --> 00:03:01,391
They asked all around, butto no avail.
43
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:05,144
Where was this great party,
this whitest of whales?
44
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:08,064
And though year upon year
they tried and they failed...
45
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:11,693
...they never did tire, they never did bail.
46
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,195
But over time, the fun did wane.
47
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,907
One friend had a family,
the other had fame.
48
00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:21,077
As the years passed,
his boys, they grew up.
49
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:25,039
But it seems our boy Ethan
is just a little bit stuck.
50
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,963
What's up, buddy? No?
51
00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:34,048
All right. You guys want any of this?
52
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,800
- No, thank you.
-Cool.
53
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,927
Keep it moving. There you go.
54
00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:39,512
Yes, good.
55
00:03:39,679 --> 00:03:41,514
Wait. No, no, no. What are you doing?
56
00:03:41,681 --> 00:03:43,850
No one was eating this tuna,
so I thought--
57
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,436
No, no, no. You don't get to
make those executive decisions, elf.
58
00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,020
How old are you?
59
00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:50,732
- Thirty-three.
-Thirty-three.
60
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,692
Thirty-three years old, and you're an elf.
61
00:03:52,859 --> 00:03:54,986
And you don't even know
how to be an elf.
62
00:03:55,153 --> 00:03:56,279
Show me the elf face.
63
00:03:58,364 --> 00:04:00,783
It's happy. It's eager.
64
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,285
More whimsical.
65
00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:04,579
Whimsy. Determined, though.
66
00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:07,540
- There you go! That's it!
-That was it.
67
00:04:07,707 --> 00:04:09,459
That's why you're coming back here
with a full tray.
68
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,712
I'm gonna move you to Coat check.
This is your last chance.
69
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:15,923
And the whole time,
I wanna see that elf face.
70
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,675
- Okay.
-Starting now.
71
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:19,969
Go.
72
00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:21,137
Go.
73
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:27,518
These two are together.
No, gotta take the ticket.
74
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,104
Hi. Just you, sir?
75
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,690
Great. This is your ticket.
Please try not to lose it.
76
00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:35,234
This is a very expensive coat,
so take care of it.
77
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,944
Absolutely, sir.
78
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,447
Here, ticket. Okay, this one.
79
00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:40,990
Yeah.
80
00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:43,034
Yeah. Great.
81
00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:44,952
Hi. Merry Christmas, sir.
82
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:02,386
Hey, what are you doing?
83
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,138
Nothing.
84
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,392
I'm gonna be right back.
85
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:09,644
Now, where are you going?
86
00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:12,021
I'm sick. Sick.
87
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:30,665
Congratulations. You're about to
have the best night of your life.
88
00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:33,668
You will Iearn valuable lessons,
be filled with Christmas cheer...
89
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:35,211
...and probably get laid.
90
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:38,381
We will release the Iocation of our party
at 10 p.m.
91
00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:39,757
Merry Christmas.
92
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:02,947
Yeah, I know, Ma. I'm sorry,
but I have to stay here and work hard.
93
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,993
How you think I'm having
such an amazing season?
94
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:09,579
I love you too. Merry Christmas.
95
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:10,830
Bye.
96
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:17,670
What's up, fellas? How's it going, man?
97
00:06:17,837 --> 00:06:19,505
Good to see you, baby. Merry Christmas.
98
00:06:19,672 --> 00:06:21,799
You wanna take a picture, man?
Let's do it.
99
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,968
Just leave it!
100
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:29,140
If you're not Christian, what are you?
101
00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:30,641
I'm Jewish.
102
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,059
Is that why you look different?
103
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:33,561
What was that? Come again.
104
00:06:33,728 --> 00:06:36,022
You just look funny.
105
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,732
I look funny?
106
00:06:37,899 --> 00:06:39,191
You aver see The Shining'?
107
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,194
Jsaac?
-Yo!
108
00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:43,362
What are you telling them?
109
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,239
I'm just talking to your Iovely daughters...
110
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,700
...as though they are adults.
111
00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:49,994
From a cognitive Ievel,
if you speak to kids like they're adults...
112
00:06:50,161 --> 00:06:53,080
...it will make them more curious,
it will open up their minds to more things.
113
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,666
- He's gonna be a great father.
-Yeah.
114
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,878
I just hope we have kids
as beautiful as you girls.
115
00:06:59,879 --> 00:07:00,922
I'm sorry.
116
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,381
Sweeties, just come help Mommy
in the kitchen.
117
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,383
- Are you okay? You want a hug?
-That's okay.
118
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:05,843
Okay -
119
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:08,930
- Gosh, I am such a fucking piece of shit.
-No, you're not at all.
120
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,598
I'm the worst mom.
I'm gonna be terrible.
121
00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:11,974
No. Don't say that.
122
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,517
What if I screw this up?
123
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:16,395
You won't. Studies show your maternal
instincts really kick in in the last month.
124
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:17,730
I know. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.
125
00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:19,815
It's fine. I love you so much. Okay?
126
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,943
I love you too.
127
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,986
Bets, look who it is.
128
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,363
Ethan!
129
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:26,656
Merry Christmas.
130
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,574
Oh, my God! You look so big!
131
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,117
- No.
-No?
132
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:32,119
You don't know
a lot of pregnant women, do you?
133
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,205
- I meant the baby.
-No, I look really big.
134
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:36,415
You look great,
and the baby's probably cramped...
135
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,417
...inside of your small, fit body.
-Thank you. No, that's enough.
136
00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:41,003
- Just shut up. It's all good. It's fine.
-I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say.
137
00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:42,171
She looks beautiful.
138
00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:43,756
- You want a drink?
-Sure.
139
00:07:43,923 --> 00:07:45,049
Do you want a drink, honey?
140
00:07:45,216 --> 00:07:46,425
I'm okay right now.
141
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:47,677
Really?
142
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:50,846
Yeah. I'm kinda on Call.
Gotta keep my head on straight.
143
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,348
- But you're gonna drink tonight?
-Yeah. For sure.
144
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,475
- Because I'm already kinda drunk.
-I can tell.
145
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,978
- Okay. That's Chris.
-Yeah.
146
00:07:57,687 --> 00:07:58,980
Everybody, look who it is!
147
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:03,109
Merry Christmas, blessed Kwanzaa,
happy Hanukkah!
148
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,569
Hey, man. How's it going?
149
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,739
Look at this! Oh, my God!
150
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,200
I Couldn't even tell you were pregnant
till I saw you from the side.
151
00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:12,702
Look how tiny you are!
152
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,453
That's so nice of you to say.
153
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,163
That is how you talk
to a pregnant woman.
154
00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:20,042
It's amazing. You've had the season
of a lifetime. Congratulations, man.
155
00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:21,711
- Congrats.
-Thanks, man.
156
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:25,506
Got a new workout, new diet,
new paleo thing I've been doing.
157
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,758
I've heard about that. And it works?
158
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,844
It rips you up. If you see me naked,
it'll blow your mind.
159
00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:31,012
I'd love to.
160
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,266
Kick ass.
161
00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:43,607
Really can't believe
we're doing this again this year.
162
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:45,943
I was done a few years ago,
to be totally honest.
163
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:47,820
We're like those kids
who won't stop trick-or-treating.
164
00:08:47,987 --> 00:08:49,905
Eventually, they come to your door,
you're like, "Eh."
165
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,365
-"No candy for you."
-No.
166
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,908
"Pack it in, kid."
167
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,828
- But this is it. This is the last Christmas.
-Last time. Right?
168
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:57,538
- Is he cool with it?
-Yeah, I think so.
169
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:58,873
He looks happy right now, right?
170
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,292
I'm just saying,
we're enabling him at this point.
171
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,836
We're not helping him
get over his own problems.
172
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:06,005
On a psychological level, that's not good.
173
00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:07,214
I've made a decision.
174
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,675
For a Christmas present tonight,
I'm gonna take him under my wing.
175
00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:11,635
I'm gonna help him
and get him out of this rut.
176
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:13,345
It's a conversation we've been avoiding
for 10 years, actually.
177
00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:14,513
I know.
178
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,182
Just do it easy.
179
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,683
I'm going all in.
180
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,560
- Don't go all in.
-Balls and all.
181
00:09:27,485 --> 00:09:28,486
Have fun.
182
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,529
Take good Care of my husband, all right?
I like him.
183
00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:31,947
We will.
184
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,283
Hey, Bets, tell Diana I said hello.
185
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,576
Yeah, no.
186
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,661
No, no. Merry Christmas.
187
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:39,163
Bye-bye.
188
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:41,040
- Congratulations.
-Good to see you.
189
00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:43,417
- Luckiest guy in the Park.
-I sure am. Bye.
190
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:44,627
Can I talk to you for a second real quick?
191
00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:46,629
What? We're not doing gifts now, are we?
192
00:09:46,796 --> 00:09:50,716
No, we're doing them tomorrow, but
this one I'm pretty sure you'll want tonight.
193
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:53,552
- What is it?
-You have been such a rock...
194
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,679
...throughout this whole pregnancy.
195
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,348
You're like my Dwayne Johnson.
196
00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:58,516
Thank you.
197
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,810
It's Christmas now,
and we've almost made it...
198
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:03,104
...and you deserve this.
So Merry Christmas.
199
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,355
Is it cologne?
200
00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:05,940
No.
201
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:11,779
Holy shit!
202
00:10:11,946 --> 00:10:14,073
It's every single drug in the whole world.
203
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,367
Why are you giving this to me?
204
00:10:16,534 --> 00:10:18,369
You've been so focused
on me and the baby...
205
00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:20,663
...and tonight I think
you should just focus on yourself.
206
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:23,707
Go out there,
get fucking wild, you know?
207
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:26,877
Is this cocaine? I haven't done cocaine
for 11 years, I don't think.
208
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,254
No one has, I don't think.
209
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,131
That's amazing.
Where did you get all this shit?
210
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,924
- Craigslist.
-You got it from Craigslist?
211
00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:34,009
I just typed in the search "NYC drugs."
212
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,636
Really resourceful of you.
213
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,430
It's your last Christmas together,
so have fun. Enjoy it.
214
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,683
- Thank you so much.
-Yeah. I love you.
215
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,810
This is so great.
I'll have my phone with me.
216
00:10:42,977 --> 00:10:46,105
I'll be home pretty early, I think.
Okay. I love you.
217
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:49,859
What?
218
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,944
What the fuck is this?
219
00:10:52,111 --> 00:10:53,696
This is the Red Bull Limousine, fellas.
220
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:57,700
You are now looking at the face
and body of Red Bull.
221
00:10:57,867 --> 00:10:59,451
Wow! Congratulations, man!
222
00:11:00,119 --> 00:11:03,038
Right? Since this is our final Christmas,
I figured we could do it in class.
223
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,416
Seriously, this is what the spirit
of Christmas is all about.
224
00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:08,335
A rich athlete finally getting
the corporate limo that he always wanted.
225
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,171
- Exactly!
-I think so.
226
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,006
Let's go, get in.
You gotta see this. Come on.
227
00:11:12,173 --> 00:11:13,674
Cool!
228
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:16,760
Yo, it's the Red Bull Limo, guys!
229
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:18,679
All right.
230
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:19,930
Yo! What's up, everybody?
231
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,223
This your man, C-Rob.
232
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,766
We in the Red Bull Limo.
233
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:26,520
And we Dom P'in it, we have Cristal in it,
Hennythuggin' it...
234
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,647
...and we got Red Bull!
235
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:32,818
I'm capturing this
on my Sony Xperia Ultra phone.
236
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,112
No matter what the light,
the picture's right. All right'?
237
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,989
This your man, Chris Rob, coming at you.
238
00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:38,657
What happening? Peace!
239
00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,659
Peace!
240
00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,620
And, Internet.
241
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,289
- His social media game is crazy.
-On point.
242
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:46,540
- Really on point, yeah.
-On point.
243
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,876
Five million people probably just saw that.
244
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,419
Hey there.
245
00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:54,048
Didn't wanna interrupt
while you guys were rolling back there.
246
00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:55,633
Great video, by the way.
I just watched it.
247
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:56,842
That was fast.
248
00:11:57,009 --> 00:12:00,679
My name's Joshua. I'm gonna be your
Red Bull-provided driver for the evening.
249
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,056
First stop: Rockefeller Center, right?
250
00:12:02,223 --> 00:12:03,891
- Great, thank you, Josh.
-Raise partition.
251
00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:05,059
Nice meeting you, Josh.
252
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,353
I'm doing the hang-loose thing too much.
253
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,647
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll call you. There we go.
254
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,190
Check out what Betsy gave me.
255
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:13,484
It's a bunch of drugs.
We eat a little 'shrooms...
256
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:17,196
...to kinda trip out a little bit,
look at the lights, all the sparkly Iights.
257
00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:18,364
Let's start with the champagne.
258
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,658
Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah!
259
00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:23,744
Aim it out the window,
aim it out the window!
260
00:12:33,671 --> 00:12:35,756
- So what's up, E? How's life, man?
-Life is good!
261
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:36,924
- Yeah?
-Yeah, dude.
262
00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:39,426
How's the music going?
Any gigs coming up?
263
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,679
Not gigs, but gigs are overrated, dude.
264
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,472
People are just on their phones
the whole time.
265
00:12:43,639 --> 00:12:44,640
- You know what I mean?
-Totally, yeah.
266
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:45,808
The thing I'm working on now...
267
00:12:45,975 --> 00:12:48,143
...you really have to listen to it
start to finish. It's a Concept album.
268
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,478
What's the Concept?
269
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:51,981
I'm still conceptualizing that part of it...
270
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,190
-...but it's all about who you know...
- C-Rob, will you sign this?
271
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:54,358
-...more than anything.
-Wait up, wait up.
272
00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:55,693
How's it going? Hey, merry Christmas.
273
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,653
- Photobomb!
-There you go. All right.
274
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,029
That just happens now?
275
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,698
People love C-Rob.
276
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,950
So how about Diana?
You talk to her?
277
00:13:03,117 --> 00:13:04,243
How's things going with that?
278
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:05,494
Hate to see that one get away, you know?
279
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,246
-It's still over.
-it's over. Don't worry about it.
280
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:10,708
But it's okay. It's no one's fault, really.
We just drifted apart.
281
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:13,127
Look, we're at the tree!
Why don't we talk about that another time?
282
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,170
- What?
-Not now, man.
283
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,886
Gentlemen...
284
00:13:23,429 --> 00:13:27,474
...14 years ago to this very night,
a tradition was born.
285
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:31,270
That year some drunk, fucking asshole
hit my parents with a car.
286
00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:34,356
So that Christmas,
I didn't have any family to be with...
287
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,400
...but you guys were there for me.
288
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,110
But tonight!
289
00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:39,403
Tonight's different.
290
00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:42,531
We have mutually decided
to end this tradition.
291
00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:43,991
Isaac's about to have a baby.
292
00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:47,578
And Chris is just too fucking famous
to hang out with us anymore.
293
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:49,496
But, guys, earlier today...
294
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:53,500
...I witnessed
a real-life Christmas miracle.
295
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,919
- Where the fuck did you get those?
-Holy shit! Are those real?
296
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,296
They are fucking real!
297
00:13:57,463 --> 00:13:58,464
Where did they come from?
298
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,215
It doesn't matter!
It's a fucking Christmas miracle!
299
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,134
You killed somebody for those?
300
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:03,677
No, I stole them.
301
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,554
That's awesome! What a blowout!
302
00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:08,682
It is the Nutcracker Ball!
303
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,100
Yes!
304
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,644
So I Called the number on these tickets.
305
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:15,105
They don't give out the address till 10.
306
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:19,318
So that gives us several hours to hit
as many Christmas traditions as possible!
307
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:20,486
Let's do it.
308
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,654
And it's gonna be the
best fucking night of our Iives!
309
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,406
I'm so psyched, man. Awesome.
310
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,742
Maybe it'll be the new Christmas tradition.
311
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:32,373
I don't know if we're really
replacing this with another tradition.
312
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,458
That was a joke, Isaac.
Give me some credit.
313
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,919
Obviously, that was a joke.
I am totally cool with it.
314
00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:38,379
Obviously, he's joking.
315
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,173
- Definitely.
-Gentlemen, I got the sweaters.
316
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:42,341
This one's for you.
317
00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:43,884
- This is for you.
-Nice.
318
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,052
Let's do this!
319
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,929
Let's do it. Hey, where'd he go?
320
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:25,527
Soup's on!
321
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,738
Hey, Thuwan! How's it going, my man?
322
00:16:27,905 --> 00:16:30,824
Now it's Christmas. It's not Christmas
till we eat egg drop soup.
323
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,118
It brings me back.
Who are you calling right now?
324
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:35,329
- Calling my man Tommy Owens.
-You're Calling Tommy Owens?
325
00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:37,122
- Who's Tommy Owens?
-He's the best player in the league.
326
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,583
- Tommy!
-C-Money, what's up, my man?
327
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,460
Merry Christmas.
328
00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:43,253
Tell him hi.
329
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,755
Hennessy.
330
00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:46,465
We going to the Nutcracker Ball.
I got tickets for my boys.
331
00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:48,217
I got us on the list for the party...
332
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,135
...the after-party, the before-party,
every party.
333
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:51,887
Congrats, baby, you coming up big time.
334
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:54,014
What we do, baby. That's what we do!
335
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,307
Tell him to bring some green with him.
336
00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:57,726
C-Money, while I got you on the phone...
337
00:16:57,893 --> 00:17:00,187
...I hate to even ask, but you think
maybe you could bring us some weed?
338
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,773
Yeah, I can get weed.
Look who you're talking to, baby.
339
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,442
- Come on. It's Chris Money.
-Smoke it up!
340
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,778
I'll see you at the Nutcracker Ball.
I'll bring you a half a pound...
341
00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:09,029
...and we gonna roll. Much love.
342
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,989
One. Chris love out. Peace.
343
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,535
How much weed you got in that box?
344
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,036
I don't know. Why don't we check?
345
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,371
Check it out, playa.
346
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:22,417
Someone call Snoop D-O-double gezzank,
because I got the reefers.
347
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:23,961
You have one joint?
348
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,880
She doesn't know that much about drugs.
The proportions of this shit is all off.
349
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,632
Dude, we need to get some weed.
350
00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:30,634
Can we just not get derailed here?
351
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,803
This is not about
some famous athlete and his weed.
352
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,180
This is about the three of us.
This is our last Christmas together.
353
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,848
It is about a famous athlete and his weed.
354
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:39,935
I've been on this dude's team for six years
and he finally knows who I am.
355
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,228
If I Can deliver this weed...
356
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:44,147
...we Could smoke with Tommy Owens
and hang with him all night!
357
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,524
I'd love to smoke weed
with Tommy Owens.
358
00:17:45,691 --> 00:17:47,234
See? He wants to
smoke with Tommy, right?
359
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:48,652
Okay. Okay.
360
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:51,196
Where do we get some weed from?
361
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,490
We could call Mr. Green.
362
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:55,742
Why are we outside
our high school again?
363
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,287
Because he's a fucking drug-dealer
and he's suspicious...
364
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,039
...and he doesn't meet you
unless he's met you there before.
365
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,375
So it's either our old high school
or this guy's mom's house.
366
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:04,543
That's not happening.
367
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,837
I know. So it's here.
368
00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,172
Shit. Is that you?
369
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,049
It's not mine.
370
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,468
- No.
-Oh, shit.
371
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,054
That was there before.
372
00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:17,723
Do they even make payphones anymore?
373
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,141
Don't touch it.
People wipe their butts on those.
374
00:18:19,308 --> 00:18:20,684
This is how you gotta talk to him.
375
00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:21,893
Don't pick UP!
376
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,437
Hello! 1998 speaking.
377
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:24,813
That's gross.
378
00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:29,610
Yeah, I see you. Okay. Thanks.
He's right there.
379
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,487
Go ahead. Go get the weed.
380
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:33,822
I'm not going. You're going.
381
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,450
- Just get it. Come on, don't be a baby.
-It's your weed!
382
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:37,993
Shit.
383
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:43,999
Is it just me?
He's changed a little bit, right?
384
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,628
Yeah, he seems like
he's excited about his fame.
385
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,172
I think it's ourjob to sort of
just keep him in check.
386
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:53,300
Sometimes, you think it's easy
to tell your friend something...
387
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,636
...and it's actually hard
to tell them that thing...
388
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,054
...once you're confronted
with the actual moment...
389
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,388
...that you would maybe tell them
that thing.
390
00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,556
You know what I mean?
391
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,939
Mr. Green! What's up, man?
392
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,733
Good evening.
393
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,526
How you doing?
It's good to see you.
394
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:13,153
I'm glad you open on Christmas.
395
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,864
A lot of people need me
on Christmas, you know.
396
00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:18,617
It's a tough holiday.
397
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,160
I know you.
398
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,536
Yeah.
399
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,872
You used to sell weed to me and
my friends when we were in high school.
400
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:25,165
Yeah, that's crazy.
401
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,501
So, what do you want?
402
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,712
Your best shit, man.
That chronic, that drow, that...
403
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,547
Yeah, yeah. Some of that.
404
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:36,009
It's good to see you kids
still hanging out and smoking up.
405
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,469
Makes me proud.
406
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:40,847
Thanks, man. We're just kind of trying
to keep the dream alive, you know?
407
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,016
But this is not for us.
This is for a good friend of mine.
408
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:46,144
Tommy Owens. Quarterback.
The Messiah.
409
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:48,647
You know what?
As far as I'm concerned...
410
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:50,148
...there's only one Messiah.
411
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:53,235
Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
412
00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:55,821
So that name's a little blasphemous.
413
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,531
Yeah.
414
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,541
The Weed of Christmas Present.
415
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:11,628
I'm an athlete, so drug-free body.
Drug-free zone. No smoking.
416
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:14,339
You buying that for somebody
and you're not gonna test it?
417
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,842
That could be oregano.
418
00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:19,720
- Orega-what?
-Oregano.
419
00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:34,109
80...
420
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,362
Something special supposed to happen?
421
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,030
It just did.
422
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,324
You're in the present.
423
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,748
What? Maybe I'm high
or something, man, I don't--
424
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,000
Or maybe you're in the present.
425
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,671
The Weed of Christmas Present.
426
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,799
Well, with that logic, isn't all weed
the weed of Christmas present?
427
00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,635
Only on Christmas, kid.
428
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,514
Anyway, that'll be a hundred bucks.
429
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:08,059
All right. I'll get your hundreds.
430
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:11,062
If you guys ain't doing nothing Iater,
you should stop by this party I'm throwing.
431
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:13,190
It's a hell of a bash.
432
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,275
You serious?
433
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,194
It's not in my car.
434
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:18,904
It's a real party.
435
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:23,408
We already got invited to something.
Sorry. But thank you for the invite.
436
00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:26,828
That's no problem.
My feelings aren't hurt. Not really.
437
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,501
Tell Isaac,
"I'll see you in a couple hours."
438
00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,835
What?
439
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:37,672
Tell Isaac I'll see him in a Couple hours.
440
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:40,300
How did he get so good all of a sudden?
441
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,843
I don't know.
442
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,346
Here we go. Here we go.
443
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,601
That shit was the weirdest
fucking experience of my life, dude.
444
00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,561
- Really?
-But I got the weed.
445
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:52,896
Nice.
446
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:54,773
Come on, let's go
tear this fucking karaoke down.
447
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:57,150
Let them bitches know
the Ice Crew in the building!
448
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,819
Let's do it, baby.
449
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:00,987
- Did you practice the moves?
-Oh, I've been practicing.
450
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:02,614
Hey!
451
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,036
Happy feet, happy feet.
452
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:13,750
Show them, huh!
453
00:22:44,656 --> 00:22:46,533
Got my prenup.
454
00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:55,625
I think the 'shrooms are kicking in.
455
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:11,308
Yo, what's up? We're the Ice Crew!
456
00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:13,143
We just got one thing to say!
457
00:23:13,310 --> 00:23:15,478
Drink some damn Red Bull. Hell, yeah!
458
00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:21,568
It's happening-
459
00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:23,111
- You feel good?
-Yeah.
460
00:23:23,278 --> 00:23:25,113
Ethan, it's Diana!
461
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,698
- Hi.
-What's up?
462
00:23:26,865 --> 00:23:29,326
Chris, I wanna say hi to you,
but you're surrounded by fans!
463
00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,494
I know. It's Crazy! Say hey to Ethan!
464
00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:32,746
He looks really great!
465
00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:35,624
Let's go outside and Instagram.
My social media game is on point!
466
00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:37,667
- That guy's really famous now.
-Yeah.
467
00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:38,919
Super famous.
468
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,879
So good seeing you guys!
469
00:23:41,338 --> 00:23:43,173
Merry Christmas.
What are you guys doing here?
470
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:45,967
It's the only karaoke place
that's open on Christmas.
471
00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,802
Yeah, it's our tradition.
472
00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:49,638
I should've remembered
that you guys come here.
473
00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:51,056
But Run-DMC,
I got to see it! Finally.
474
00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:52,766
- You Iiked it?
-It was awesome.
475
00:23:52,933 --> 00:23:54,309
This is what you guys missed.
476
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:55,644
She did Miley Cyrus.
477
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:57,729
She destroyed Wrecking Ball.
It was amazing.
478
00:23:57,896 --> 00:23:59,773
- You still like that song.
-Everybody does.
479
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:03,234
You can cry to it. You can run to it.
You Can party to it.
480
00:24:03,401 --> 00:24:06,154
- Timeless!
-What are you guys doing?
481
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:08,365
We're having a really fun night, actually.
482
00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:10,450
We're kind of going not too hard,
but pretty hard.
483
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:11,743
We're kind of just. ...
484
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,161
It's our last night doing the Christmas!
485
00:24:13,328 --> 00:24:16,790
- End of an era.
-Last year. Last year.
486
00:24:17,332 --> 00:24:19,042
But it's been really fun, though.
487
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:20,961
Of course.
Betsy's giving birth in a month.
488
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:22,921
She's having a baby, yeah.
489
00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:24,506
We're gonna miss her at the office.
490
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:25,924
But she said that you've been
doing a very good job.
491
00:24:26,091 --> 00:24:27,634
That you're so prepared.
492
00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:30,804
You've read every single book
on being a dad since books were created.
493
00:24:30,971 --> 00:24:32,847
I would be losing my shit right now.
494
00:24:33,014 --> 00:24:35,183
That you're prepared,
like over-prepared.
495
00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:36,643
He's solid. He's got the stats.
496
00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:39,104
A lot of men in your position
fucking freak out.
497
00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:40,897
- They just leave.
-And they take off.
498
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:44,025
- It's an epidemic.
-it's true. Are you guys...
499
00:24:44,192 --> 00:24:46,778
What the fuck! Are you guys okay?
Are you okay?
500
00:24:46,945 --> 00:24:50,073
These Iights in here
fucking with you guys? Like a lot.
501
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,282
Not really.
502
00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:53,576
I think moving around maybe
from the dancing.
503
00:24:53,743 --> 00:24:56,496
- Yeah.
-I'm gonna call Betsy. I'll be right back.
504
00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:59,082
- That's a good idea.
- It's good to see you. I'll be...
505
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:00,625
Give her a call.
506
00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:03,670
You guys have a nice connection.
507
00:25:03,837 --> 00:25:06,256
Yeah, he's a sweetheart.
508
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:10,427
- I'm gonna go to the bar, get more to drink.
-No, no, no!
509
00:25:10,593 --> 00:25:12,303
- Nice to see you.
-Merry Christmas.
510
00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:13,555
You look good.
511
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:16,975
Hi.
512
00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:18,518
Hi.
513
00:25:24,274 --> 00:25:25,442
Okay -
514
00:25:25,608 --> 00:25:26,985
Come on.
515
00:25:27,152 --> 00:25:29,195
The 'shrooms are turning.
You got a big night ahead of you.
516
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:30,655
Let's get something else going here.
517
00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:32,782
Cocaine. That'll straighten me out.
518
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:35,577
Get in my brain. Make me feel different.
519
00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:36,786
Yeah.
520
00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:43,918
What's up, Messiah?
How you doing, White Jesus?
521
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:46,421
Yo, check it out. It's C-Rob, man.
522
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:49,632
So everything's good. I got you.
523
00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:52,719
I got the shit. I got the weed.
I got the smoke.
524
00:25:52,886 --> 00:25:56,347
You know what? I'm tripping.
I'm gonna just text you, all right?
525
00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:59,184
What happened to peace?
Peace. C-Rob out.
526
00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:02,145
Chris motherfucking Roberts!
527
00:26:02,812 --> 00:26:04,814
Well, I'm not Julia Roberts.
528
00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:06,775
But you are a pretty woman.
529
00:26:07,275 --> 00:26:08,651
Oh, shit!
530
00:26:08,818 --> 00:26:10,695
Dude, I am such a fan.
531
00:26:11,071 --> 00:26:12,155
Meeting you here tonight...
532
00:26:12,322 --> 00:26:14,949
...this is enough to make Christmas
tolerable for me.
533
00:26:15,784 --> 00:26:17,035
You don't like Christmas?
534
00:26:17,202 --> 00:26:19,662
No. I fucking hate Christmas.
535
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:22,749
Sorry to be like a Grinch. You're into it.
536
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:24,959
This is amazing.
537
00:26:25,126 --> 00:26:27,462
As much as I hate Christmas,
that's how much I love you.
538
00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:31,257
Sorry. I'm being too much.
539
00:26:31,424 --> 00:26:33,635
I'm jizzing all over you.
I'm getting, like, jizzy. Sorry.
540
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:36,304
No, no, no. Jizz all over me.
I like that shit.
541
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,807
You probably wanna
go back to your friends.
542
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:40,475
Fuck my friends.
543
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:42,560
Friends come and go...
544
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:44,437
...but fans, that's forever.
545
00:26:44,604 --> 00:26:46,773
- You're naughty.
-I'm very naughty.
546
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:50,401
I'm gonna teach you a Christmas Iesson,
you naughty boy.
547
00:26:50,902 --> 00:26:52,028
Okay -
548
00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:55,782
The truth will set you free.
549
00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,786
Hey, yo.
550
00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:02,956
This is a message for future Isaac...
551
00:27:03,123 --> 00:27:05,166
...from current Isaac.
552
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:07,752
And I have to tell you to listen to me...
553
00:27:07,919 --> 00:27:09,462
...because right now I have clarity.
554
00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:11,798
You should not be having
this fucking baby.
555
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:13,007
This baby's a mistake.
556
00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:15,593
The baby will ruin your life.
You'll ruin the baby's life!
557
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,679
And then the baby
will fucking murder people!
558
00:27:17,846 --> 00:27:21,182
I don't know what you do at this point,
but get rid of this fucking baby!
559
00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:23,476
Put it in a bag and leave it somewhere!
560
00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:26,646
Put it in a basket
and push it down a fucking river!
561
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:27,981
Fuck you, baby!
562
00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:30,525
Fuck your baby-fucking little arms...
563
00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:32,819
...and your fucking chubby little
baby-fucking Iegs!
564
00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:36,114
Fuck you, baby! Fuck you! Cunt!
565
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:40,076
Okay -
566
00:27:41,953 --> 00:27:43,079
Fuck.
567
00:27:46,124 --> 00:27:48,001
Have some fun! Yeah!
568
00:27:48,293 --> 00:27:49,294
Let's party!
569
00:27:55,842 --> 00:27:57,635
Jsaac?
-Fuck! Yeah!
570
00:27:57,802 --> 00:27:59,387
Hi, Sarah! Whaddup?
571
00:27:59,554 --> 00:28:00,763
- How's it going?
-All right.
572
00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:01,931
Good. Cool.
573
00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:03,391
What's going on? You good?
574
00:28:03,558 --> 00:28:04,559
You're so sweaty.
575
00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:06,269
It's hot in here. I run hot.
576
00:28:06,436 --> 00:28:07,562
We have this tradition
where we wear sweaters.
577
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:08,855
I don't always wear a sweater, obviously.
578
00:28:09,022 --> 00:28:11,191
When I'm inside I'd normally take it off.
I think it would hurt my friends' feelings.
579
00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:13,443
You're talking so fast,
you sound like an auctioneer.
580
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:14,777
That's funny. Sold!
581
00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:17,989
- That was kind of scary.
-Sorry. I don't mean to scare you...
582
00:28:18,156 --> 00:28:20,491
'Oh, my God!
583
00:28:21,242 --> 00:28:22,535
You shouldn't have said it.
Now it's all I can think about.
584
00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:24,204
- You want a drink?
-Okay. Sure.
585
00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:26,122
Let's have a drink.
I'll be right back.
586
00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:27,290
Thanks, Isaac.
587
00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:32,587
Betsy said you've been asking about me.
588
00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:35,215
- That's a Iie.
-It is. That's a lie.
589
00:28:35,381 --> 00:28:39,469
Betsy would never in a billion years
say anything even remotely like that.
590
00:28:39,636 --> 00:28:41,262
How's your family?
591
00:28:41,429 --> 00:28:43,431
You're asking about my family.
592
00:28:44,098 --> 00:28:46,684
Sorry, I can't believe it.
Who are you?
593
00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:47,977
I deserve that.
594
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:50,521
My family, thank you for asking, is fine.
595
00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:53,107
You usually stay with them
on Christmas Eve, no?
596
00:28:53,274 --> 00:28:56,486
Yeah, I'm staying with them,
but I'm going to this thing with Sarah.
597
00:28:56,653 --> 00:28:57,904
What is it?
598
00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:03,368
Okay, she's dating this guy,
and he got us into this party.
599
00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:05,370
And I know you've
always wanted to go to it...
600
00:29:05,536 --> 00:29:07,038
Shit.
Are you going to the Nutcracker Ball?
601
00:29:07,205 --> 00:29:08,456
Yeah. I'm sorry.
602
00:29:08,623 --> 00:29:09,624
We're going too.
603
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:11,167
- You are?
-Isn't that crazy?
604
00:29:11,334 --> 00:29:13,086
I'm happy for you. Your last Christmas...
605
00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:15,338
...and you get to go to the big dumb party
you've always wanted to go to.
606
00:29:15,505 --> 00:29:16,631
You bringing anyone?
607
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:18,341
To the dumb party?
608
00:29:18,508 --> 00:29:20,927
"Any guys?
"Me?
609
00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:23,888
Yeah, I'm bringing these two guys...
610
00:29:24,055 --> 00:29:26,516
...that I'm kind of dating.
611
00:29:26,683 --> 00:29:28,142
With really huge dicks.
612
00:29:28,309 --> 00:29:33,064
Who've got enormous,
almost novelty-sized dicks.
613
00:29:33,231 --> 00:29:35,441
I've been seeing a girl with a huge vagina.
614
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:36,734
Have you?
615
00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:38,528
I don't know if it really
has the same impact.
616
00:29:38,695 --> 00:29:41,281
I just hope that this
nice young lady's vagina...
617
00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,283
...is not half as big as mine.
618
00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:46,369
- Your vagina, I mean...
-The biggest! I know.
619
00:29:46,536 --> 00:29:49,247
- Here you go.
-Thank you so much. Appreciate that.
620
00:29:49,831 --> 00:29:51,124
- It's on your tab.
-Cool.
621
00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:04,178
- Cheers!
-Cheers.
622
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:05,680
This is so much fun!
623
00:30:07,515 --> 00:30:08,516
Good beer.
624
00:30:08,683 --> 00:30:10,601
They say beer mellows you out a bit,
which is nice.
625
00:30:10,768 --> 00:30:13,146
This is kind of cool-tasting.
Tastes like pennies or something.
626
00:30:13,313 --> 00:30:14,897
- Weird. It has a coppery flavor?
-Yeah.
627
00:30:15,064 --> 00:30:16,316
Bizarre. Maybe it's the vodka?
628
00:30:16,482 --> 00:30:18,401
You know what?
I think they gave you a Crantini.
629
00:30:18,568 --> 00:30:20,820
You ever think maybe they're all
part of the same Tini family?
630
00:30:20,987 --> 00:30:22,071
Martini, Crantini.
631
00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:24,449
- It's just a funny idea, I thought.
-I guess it's funny.
632
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,162
Isaac. You have a bloody nose.
633
00:30:29,329 --> 00:30:31,247
- I what?
-Your nose is bleeding.
634
00:30:31,414 --> 00:30:32,498
My nose is bleeding?
635
00:30:33,541 --> 00:30:35,585
- Do you not feel that?
-Oh, no!
636
00:30:35,752 --> 00:30:37,420
It's fucked. There's a lot of blood.
637
00:30:37,587 --> 00:30:40,131
No, my nose is very tingly right now. And I
actually don't feel much. That's so weird.
638
00:30:40,298 --> 00:30:41,591
Holy fuck!
639
00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:43,176
What?
640
00:30:43,343 --> 00:30:44,594
Did you bleed in my drink?
641
00:30:45,178 --> 00:30:46,554
No.
642
00:30:46,721 --> 00:30:48,681
You fucking bled in my drink, Isaac!
643
00:30:48,848 --> 00:30:50,058
I'm gonna come clean.
644
00:30:50,224 --> 00:30:52,477
I'm on a lot of Cocaine right now.
I think that's what made my nose bleed.
645
00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:53,770
You're on fucking cocaine?
646
00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:55,480
- Did you drink a lot of it?
-Kind of!
647
00:30:55,646 --> 00:30:57,106
- Is it that gross?
-It's mega-gross.
648
00:30:57,273 --> 00:30:58,358
I didn't do it on purpose.
649
00:30:58,524 --> 00:31:00,943
You're a totally fucking fucked-up person.
You should not be a father. Goodbye!
650
00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:02,320
Fuck you!
651
00:31:02,487 --> 00:31:03,571
Fuck you, Isaac!
652
00:31:03,738 --> 00:31:04,739
I'm sorry. Fuck you!
653
00:31:04,906 --> 00:31:06,199
No, fuck you!
654
00:31:06,366 --> 00:31:09,077
Piss off! People are fucking in here!
655
00:31:11,037 --> 00:31:12,955
Zero, 11!
656
00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:16,125
Okay, now-- Now, take a dump.
657
00:31:16,918 --> 00:31:17,919
What?
658
00:31:18,419 --> 00:31:20,922
Hey, guys! Sorry to interrupt.
Hey, Ethan.
659
00:31:21,089 --> 00:31:22,965
We need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm losing my shit right now.
660
00:31:23,132 --> 00:31:24,133
What happened?
661
00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:25,718
Please. I wanna go right now.
662
00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:27,929
- I'm right behind you.
-Thank you.
663
00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:29,389
- Sorry.
-I'm sorry.
664
00:31:29,722 --> 00:31:30,765
Yikes.
665
00:31:32,767 --> 00:31:34,268
I guess that's my cue.
666
00:31:34,435 --> 00:31:36,521
- Tell her I'm sorry.
-You don't have to be sorry.
667
00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:38,189
I guess I'll see you later.
668
00:31:38,356 --> 00:31:40,358
Okay. Hey, hey, hey-
669
00:31:40,525 --> 00:31:41,984
This is...
670
00:31:48,366 --> 00:31:50,660
Come on, man.
671
00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,130
- Ethan!
-Have you seen Isaac?
672
00:32:02,296 --> 00:32:05,425
Forget Isaac. I just fame-fucked
that hipster chick in the bathroom.
673
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:07,343
- So that's her?
-Hell, yeah.
674
00:32:09,262 --> 00:32:10,263
Can we go?
675
00:32:10,430 --> 00:32:11,556
- Are you okay?
-I'm fine! Let's go.
676
00:32:11,722 --> 00:32:12,890
It's after 10. We can call the
party number now.
677
00:32:13,057 --> 00:32:14,559
Let's call! Let's call!
678
00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:16,436
I'll get this address.
679
00:32:16,602 --> 00:32:18,563
This better fucking work.
680
00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:22,066
If you want your Christmas merry...
681
00:32:22,233 --> 00:32:25,278
...go to the corner of Grand and Berry.
682
00:32:25,445 --> 00:32:26,446
Okay -
683
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:28,656
Grand and Berry, please!
684
00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:33,536
Listen, listen. Diana is also going
to the Nutcracker Ball.
685
00:32:33,703 --> 00:32:36,581
- What?
-How crazy is that, right?
686
00:32:36,747 --> 00:32:37,748
She's cool. I miss her.
687
00:32:37,915 --> 00:32:39,542
Yeah, you shouldn't have let her go,
dude.
688
00:32:39,709 --> 00:32:42,253
You should totally get her back, bro.
My mom's named Diana.
689
00:32:42,420 --> 00:32:44,130
Yeah, thanks.
I didn't let her go.
690
00:32:44,297 --> 00:32:46,924
- She left me.
-You didn't wanna meet her parents...
691
00:32:47,091 --> 00:32:50,094
...and you never did, and you just kept
making excuses for two years.
692
00:32:50,261 --> 00:32:52,597
She made the whole relationship
about the one thing I didn't wanna do.
693
00:32:52,763 --> 00:32:54,432
Dude, you fucked up.
Isaac, tell him, he fucked up.
694
00:32:54,932 --> 00:32:56,267
- You fucked up, man.
-See?
695
00:32:56,434 --> 00:32:58,519
Hey, Isaac. You okay?
696
00:32:59,270 --> 00:33:00,980
No, I'm not.
697
00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:04,734
I think the cocaine and the mushrooms
are reacting poorly.
698
00:33:04,901 --> 00:33:07,236
And now I think I just got to balance it out.
699
00:33:07,403 --> 00:33:08,821
I got to make it
that I'm more on mushrooms...
700
00:33:08,988 --> 00:33:10,198
...because I was having fun
on mushrooms.
701
00:33:10,364 --> 00:33:11,949
- I have a plan.
-Chill out. Have a Red Bull.
702
00:33:12,116 --> 00:33:14,327
You Could also just
stop doing drugs right now.
703
00:33:14,494 --> 00:33:16,871
Like, much more mushrooms.
704
00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:19,040
- Are you gonna be cool at this party?
-Cool as fuck, G.
705
00:33:19,207 --> 00:33:20,791
No, you're not cool, G.
706
00:33:20,958 --> 00:33:23,044
You look insane.
Only your right eye is working.
707
00:33:23,211 --> 00:33:25,171
There's gonna be a lot of
famous people at this party...
708
00:33:25,338 --> 00:33:26,672
...and I don't want you to fuck it up.
709
00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:28,090
You walk in there
looking like a shit show...
710
00:33:28,257 --> 00:33:29,383
Do I look weird now?
711
00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:31,552
Yes! You look weird!
712
00:33:31,719 --> 00:33:33,429
Still weird.
713
00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:35,056
Weirder!
714
00:33:35,223 --> 00:33:36,766
- He looks fine.
-No, you don't!
715
00:33:36,933 --> 00:33:39,018
You need to fucking check yourself,
before...
716
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,187
Before...
717
00:33:41,354 --> 00:33:43,105
...l wreck myself?
718
00:33:43,648 --> 00:33:45,316
- Is that what you're saying?
-Yes.
719
00:33:45,483 --> 00:33:47,443
Chickity-check myself,
before I wrickity-wreck myself?
720
00:33:47,610 --> 00:33:49,111
How does that make someone feel?
721
00:33:49,278 --> 00:33:50,988
To be told
that they might wreck themselves.
722
00:33:51,155 --> 00:33:52,156
You're not gonna wreck yourself.
723
00:33:52,323 --> 00:33:55,076
You made him feel bad.
Why don't you just leave him alone?
724
00:33:55,243 --> 00:33:57,245
- Look, he's not right, dude.
-Gonna mellow out.
725
00:33:57,411 --> 00:33:59,163
Why don't you have some weed
and mellow out.
726
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,583
- You got the weed?
-No.
727
00:34:03,292 --> 00:34:05,169
- You got the weed, dude?
-No.
728
00:34:05,336 --> 00:34:07,296
She stole my fucking weed.
729
00:34:07,922 --> 00:34:10,591
She was rummaging through my jacket
when I was hitting her from the back.
730
00:34:10,758 --> 00:34:12,260
I knew it! She fucking took my weed!
731
00:34:12,426 --> 00:34:13,719
That serves you right.
732
00:34:13,886 --> 00:34:16,347
Dude, it's not funny!
She stole my fucking weed!
733
00:34:16,514 --> 00:34:19,767
The last place I wanna be is
outside my mom's house right now.
734
00:34:20,476 --> 00:34:23,437
School's far. Your mom Iives close.
735
00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:25,314
How long did Mr. Green say
he would be here in?
736
00:34:25,481 --> 00:34:26,691
Half hour.
737
00:34:26,857 --> 00:34:28,609
That's fine. Let's just go inside and wait.
I'm freezing.
738
00:34:28,776 --> 00:34:30,987
No, no, no. We're not going inside.
My mom's probably asleep.
739
00:34:31,153 --> 00:34:33,698
A half hour for Mr. Green could be like
two hours of standing here.
740
00:34:33,864 --> 00:34:36,826
We Could be dead by then.
We could literally die by then.
741
00:34:36,993 --> 00:34:40,079
Look, my mom doesn't know I'm here.
So let it go. We're not going upstairs.
742
00:34:40,246 --> 00:34:42,540
- Really? You didn't tell her?
-No.
743
00:34:42,873 --> 00:34:45,293
I told her I was in Philly
and I got a suite down at the Gansevoort.
744
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:47,712
I just think your mom would be happy
to see you on Christmas.
745
00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:50,631
I'm not saying she wouldn't be happy
to see me, all right?
746
00:34:50,798 --> 00:34:52,883
There's just a lot you don't understand.
747
00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:55,678
All she wants to do is parade me around
and show me off to people.
748
00:34:55,845 --> 00:34:57,722
Last time I was here,
she made me go to church with her...
749
00:34:57,888 --> 00:35:00,099
...and sign autographs, kiss babies,
tell people all my stats...
750
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:02,393
...and what I did last Sunday.
It's too much.
751
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:03,811
- I have a question.
-What?
752
00:35:03,978 --> 00:35:06,105
Does your mother
still have a Nintendo 64?
753
00:35:06,814 --> 00:35:08,608
Probably. She never
throws my stuff away. Why?
754
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,985
Right. So that's why
you don't wanna go upstairs...
755
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:12,945
...because you're gonna lose
at "GoldenEye."
756
00:35:13,529 --> 00:35:14,864
-"GoldenEye."
-"GoldenEye."
757
00:35:15,031 --> 00:35:17,491
Okay. Let's do it. One game.
758
00:35:17,658 --> 00:35:18,909
Nobody touch--
759
00:35:19,076 --> 00:35:20,453
Nobody touch nothing.
760
00:35:20,620 --> 00:35:22,705
But I love touching things.
761
00:35:26,709 --> 00:35:28,169
All right, go, gO, 9°-
762
00:35:34,383 --> 00:35:37,011
- Dude, did you die and not tell us?
-Shut up.
763
00:35:37,178 --> 00:35:38,304
It's amazing.
764
00:35:38,471 --> 00:35:40,473
I was there when you won this.
You must be so proud.
765
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,391
Shut up and go.
766
00:35:42,558 --> 00:35:44,268
- Your bedroom.
-Shut up.
767
00:35:45,061 --> 00:35:46,187
Dude.
768
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:47,772
- Ethan.
-What?
769
00:35:47,938 --> 00:35:49,023
I found you.
770
00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:50,900
- You found me?
-Check you out.
771
00:35:55,029 --> 00:35:56,447
Look at you, man.
772
00:35:58,908 --> 00:36:02,620
You remember when we all first met at
the party? Whose fucking party was that?
773
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,497
- Jocelyn Larue.
-Jocelyn Larue.
774
00:36:04,664 --> 00:36:05,748
Yeah, that's right.
775
00:36:05,915 --> 00:36:08,376
Remember the cops carne?
We had to hide in the bathroom.
776
00:36:08,542 --> 00:36:10,127
For three hours.
777
00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:12,755
I was afraid we were gonna get caught,
because you were so fucking Ioud.
778
00:36:12,922 --> 00:36:15,216
I remember you wore that
Bob Marley tie-dye T-shirt...
779
00:36:15,383 --> 00:36:16,592
...and I asked you if you smoked weed?
780
00:36:16,759 --> 00:36:19,095
I didn't even smoke weed.
I just Iiked Bob Marley and tie-dye.
781
00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:21,097
I didn't get that was the vibe
I was putting out there.
782
00:36:21,263 --> 00:36:23,641
You Could have showed up
with purple hair and a cloak.
783
00:36:23,808 --> 00:36:25,267
That was my warlock phase.
784
00:36:25,434 --> 00:36:27,228
- That was a dope phase.
-Hell, yeah.
785
00:36:27,395 --> 00:36:31,023
I'm surprised you even talked to us, Chris.
When I look back, I remember thinking:
786
00:36:31,190 --> 00:36:33,275
"This guy's a jock.
787
00:36:33,442 --> 00:36:36,696
And he's talking to a warlock
and a pretend pot-head."
788
00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:37,947
True.
789
00:36:38,114 --> 00:36:41,325
If it wasn't for y'all, I would have
never made it through that school.
790
00:36:41,492 --> 00:36:42,868
- Shit. Wait, pause it.
-No, no pause.
791
00:36:43,035 --> 00:36:45,079
The phone's buzzing.
You have to pause it.
792
00:36:45,246 --> 00:36:46,664
- I'm buying you weed!
-Just keep it down!
793
00:36:46,831 --> 00:36:49,208
Pause the fucking game.
If you shoot me right now, you forfeit.
794
00:36:49,375 --> 00:36:50,960
Oh, my God, if my mom wakes up.
795
00:36:51,419 --> 00:36:52,753
Yeah, it's him. Mr. Green's here.
796
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,880
I'm never getting in that dude's car again.
He freaked me out.
797
00:36:56,716 --> 00:36:58,175
I'll go.
798
00:36:58,342 --> 00:36:59,719
Can you even walk?
799
00:37:01,345 --> 00:37:02,972
I can fly.
800
00:37:08,978 --> 00:37:10,980
Five-O, bro. You're busted.
801
00:37:11,147 --> 00:37:13,065
- Are you fucking kidding me right now?
-Yeah, I'm just kidding.
802
00:37:13,232 --> 00:37:14,859
Holy shit, dude.
803
00:37:15,025 --> 00:37:16,485
Don't do that.
804
00:37:16,652 --> 00:37:19,989
Oh, man. Hey, good seeing you, dude.
Long time.
805
00:37:20,156 --> 00:37:21,574
It has been a long time.
806
00:37:21,741 --> 00:37:24,076
- Been a long time, yeah.
-I remember you.
807
00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:27,747
And you know I'm proud
of what you've become.
808
00:37:28,122 --> 00:37:29,331
Husband, Iawyer...
809
00:37:29,498 --> 00:37:32,543
...soon-to-be father.
That's really impressive.
810
00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:34,795
Me, I don't have time for kids.
811
00:37:35,463 --> 00:37:38,215
You're all my children.
812
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:40,718
You ever think of me as a father figure?
813
00:37:41,093 --> 00:37:42,845
No.
814
00:37:43,012 --> 00:37:45,723
Put your tiny hand in mine.
815
00:37:47,683 --> 00:37:48,684
Yeah.
816
00:37:48,851 --> 00:37:50,060
Rough night?
817
00:37:50,227 --> 00:37:53,105
Little bit. Could you tell?
Am I wearing it on my sleeve?
818
00:37:53,272 --> 00:37:54,440
I did a lot of drugs.
819
00:37:54,607 --> 00:37:57,735
Mushrooms. Caps, too many caps.
Ate a lot of the caps.
820
00:37:57,902 --> 00:38:00,863
And I just think it kind of
made me freak out a little bit.
821
00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:05,034
And basically, I'm kind ofjust having
a hard time finding my place in all this.
822
00:38:05,201 --> 00:38:07,369
Relax.
823
00:38:08,621 --> 00:38:10,206
What's happening right now?
824
00:38:10,831 --> 00:38:13,042
Just looking into your soul, man.
825
00:38:14,877 --> 00:38:16,045
What are you seeing?
826
00:38:19,507 --> 00:38:21,217
You need a nice mellow indica.
827
00:38:21,383 --> 00:38:23,427
I got a great north Cali bud...
828
00:38:23,594 --> 00:38:26,096
...with a soothing body high...
829
00:38:26,263 --> 00:38:29,350
...and surprisingly accurate
visions of the future.
830
00:38:30,476 --> 00:38:32,728
Yeah, sure. Whatever you got, bro.
831
00:38:33,103 --> 00:38:36,440
Yeah. It's definitely a good time.
832
00:38:36,857 --> 00:38:38,275
Unless...
833
00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:42,238
...you're dealing with some shit
you can't come to terms with.
834
00:38:43,614 --> 00:38:46,242
No! That's not me!
That's a different guy.
835
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:50,830
I think all my issues are drug-related,
and my emotional state is Completely...
836
00:38:50,996 --> 00:38:53,415
...cool, bro.
837
00:38:54,792 --> 00:38:57,795
Taste a little shot of this.
See if you like it.
838
00:39:02,132 --> 00:39:03,175
Come on.
839
00:39:03,342 --> 00:39:08,430
I'm good. I think I'll just ride the wave,
my main man.
840
00:39:09,265 --> 00:39:11,267
I put my hands on you.
841
00:39:11,433 --> 00:39:13,269
Take it.
842
00:39:14,186 --> 00:39:15,521
Just not too hard.
843
00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:19,733
Not too hard.
844
00:39:22,653 --> 00:39:24,280
Where are we?
845
00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:26,657
A strip club.
846
00:39:26,991 --> 00:39:28,909
Eighteen years in the future.
847
00:39:29,076 --> 00:39:31,328
- Is that my wife?
-Yeah.
848
00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:33,539
You should probably talk to her.
849
00:39:33,706 --> 00:39:36,584
I'm gonna get a beer,
maybe a dance.
850
00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:38,544
Cool.
851
00:39:38,711 --> 00:39:39,795
Hi.
852
00:39:39,962 --> 00:39:41,755
Sit down. The show's about to start.
853
00:39:41,922 --> 00:39:42,923
Okay -
854
00:39:43,090 --> 00:39:45,968
Okay, fellas, let's hear it for Sierra!
855
00:39:47,553 --> 00:39:48,888
Isn't she amazing?
856
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,097
Who is that?
857
00:39:50,264 --> 00:39:52,141
It's our beautiful baby girl.
858
00:39:52,308 --> 00:39:54,935
What the fuck?
859
00:39:55,769 --> 00:39:57,479
Pop it, girl! Pop that P!
860
00:39:57,646 --> 00:39:59,273
Pop it! Pop it!
861
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,650
You hear me, young lady?
Pop your pussy!
862
00:40:01,817 --> 00:40:03,944
It's okay, sweetie!
You don't have to pop your pussy!
863
00:40:04,111 --> 00:40:07,406
You read all those books
and you didn't learn shit!
864
00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:09,825
You really shit the bed as a dad!
865
00:40:11,285 --> 00:40:14,121
Here you go. Drip, drop. Drip, drop.
866
00:40:15,998 --> 00:40:16,999
- I know.
-No.
867
00:40:17,166 --> 00:40:18,792
Look at my finger. Look at my finger.
868
00:40:18,959 --> 00:40:21,587
You need to give me a hundred bucks
and get the fuck out of my car right now.
869
00:40:21,754 --> 00:40:23,672
Okay! Here!
870
00:40:24,048 --> 00:40:25,215
Get out.
871
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:56,455
What are you doing?
872
00:40:56,622 --> 00:40:58,791
I don't know what's happening.
Let's go. Let's just bail.
873
00:40:58,958 --> 00:41:00,250
Turn your phone off.
You're gonna wake her up.
874
00:41:00,417 --> 00:41:01,794
I don't know what's happening.
I don't know this song.
875
00:41:01,961 --> 00:41:03,754
- Turn it off.
-Hello?
876
00:41:03,921 --> 00:41:05,339
Hello?
877
00:41:06,048 --> 00:41:08,717
Hey, Ma. It's Chrissy-poo!
878
00:41:08,884 --> 00:41:11,387
Oh, my God! Chris!
879
00:41:11,553 --> 00:41:12,596
Hey!
880
00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:15,224
Oh, my God! Ethan!
881
00:41:17,101 --> 00:41:18,686
What are you guys doing?
882
00:41:18,852 --> 00:41:20,938
- Merry Christmas!
-Surprise!
883
00:41:21,105 --> 00:41:22,606
This is...
884
00:41:23,190 --> 00:41:25,234
Are you hungry?
I can heat up some food.
885
00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:27,403
- Yeah!
-No, no, no.
886
00:41:27,569 --> 00:41:29,655
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
887
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:31,281
Sweetheart.
888
00:41:31,448 --> 00:41:34,243
- Oh, you smell like weed.
-No.
889
00:41:35,327 --> 00:41:37,162
More meatloaf, Isaac?
890
00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,498
No, I'm okay.
891
00:41:39,665 --> 00:41:42,167
Could I perhaps
have some more chardonnay...
892
00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:44,420
...to wash down my medication, please?
893
00:41:44,878 --> 00:41:46,797
Of course.
894
00:41:52,845 --> 00:41:53,846
Thank you.
895
00:41:55,472 --> 00:41:57,057
So, Ethan, what's going on with you?
896
00:41:58,475 --> 00:42:01,061
Not a lot. Just feeling good.
897
00:42:01,228 --> 00:42:02,896
You got somebody special in your life?
898
00:42:03,063 --> 00:42:04,231
No.
899
00:42:04,398 --> 00:42:07,443
There was a young lady that he
used to date that he ran into today...
900
00:42:07,818 --> 00:42:10,237
...that I thought
was pretty damn awesome.
901
00:42:10,404 --> 00:42:12,614
- Yeah? What happened?
-It's a long story.
902
00:42:12,781 --> 00:42:15,367
Not that long. She wanted to get serious,
but he wouldn't meet her parents.
903
00:42:16,035 --> 00:42:17,286
She wanted to move in...
904
00:42:17,453 --> 00:42:20,122
...and you said you weren't
in the right head place for her to move in.
905
00:42:20,289 --> 00:42:21,582
That's some straight-up bullshit.
906
00:42:21,749 --> 00:42:22,958
Give me some, Ma.
907
00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:24,501
Okay, okay, okay.
908
00:42:24,668 --> 00:42:26,420
What, are you guys
ganging up on me now?
909
00:42:26,587 --> 00:42:27,671
You like this woman?
910
00:42:27,838 --> 00:42:29,089
Yeah, she's awesome...
911
00:42:29,256 --> 00:42:32,134
...but there's a whole history here
that he's brushing over.
912
00:42:32,301 --> 00:42:33,635
You want her back?
913
00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:36,013
Yeah. I do.
914
00:42:36,180 --> 00:42:38,599
If you want this woman,
you're gonna have to work for her.
915
00:42:38,766 --> 00:42:42,603
But you happen to be very lucky,
because it's Christmas.
916
00:42:42,770 --> 00:42:45,189
And there's magic in the air at Christmas.
917
00:42:45,355 --> 00:42:48,025
People's hearts are open.
People want to forgive.
918
00:42:48,442 --> 00:42:50,486
People want love.
919
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:52,488
I'd take advantage of that shit.
920
00:42:52,654 --> 00:42:56,158
I'd find the opportunity,
and I would seize it.
921
00:42:56,575 --> 00:42:58,285
Thank you, Mrs. Roberts.
922
00:42:58,452 --> 00:43:00,037
I almost forgot, I'm gonna
need some more headshots.
923
00:43:03,165 --> 00:43:05,793
A dick from someone named James?
924
00:43:05,959 --> 00:43:08,087
His name is on my phone,
I must know him. Who is he?
925
00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:11,548
Do I like it? What does that mean?
926
00:43:11,715 --> 00:43:15,511
Oh, man. Maybe it's
James McFoley from work.
927
00:43:17,387 --> 00:43:18,388
Holy shit.
928
00:43:20,474 --> 00:43:22,142
This guy's a grower and a shower.
929
00:43:23,977 --> 00:43:26,188
Do I like it more now? Jesus.
I mean, it's a dope dick.
930
00:43:29,942 --> 00:43:31,235
Do I want it?
931
00:43:32,820 --> 00:43:34,488
Who wouldn't want a dick
that looks like that?
932
00:43:37,032 --> 00:43:38,867
Do I wanna suck it? Oh, man.
933
00:43:40,369 --> 00:43:41,954
I'm gonna start putting people's
last names on my contacts.
934
00:43:47,459 --> 00:43:51,380
No, I've never sucked a dick but, well,
if I'm being totally honest with myself...
935
00:43:55,467 --> 00:43:56,844
Damn it, why'd I tell him that?
936
00:43:57,010 --> 00:43:59,972
This James guy is just
so easy to talk to. I told him too much.
937
00:44:03,267 --> 00:44:05,269
Man, I guess that settles it.
938
00:44:05,435 --> 00:44:08,272
Isaac Greenberg
is sucking his first dick tonight.
939
00:44:08,856 --> 00:44:10,941
Did he tell you that they've
named a park after him?
940
00:44:11,108 --> 00:44:12,276
You're gonna have a park
named after you?
941
00:44:12,442 --> 00:44:14,736
I petitioned the city,
I got the signatures...
942
00:44:14,903 --> 00:44:17,573
...and now there's gonna be the sweetest
little playground in Brooklyn...
943
00:44:17,739 --> 00:44:18,907
...that's named after him.
944
00:44:19,074 --> 00:44:21,827
The park is not that nice!
There are crackheads, and--
945
00:44:21,994 --> 00:44:23,662
Sweetheart, they're gonna clean that up.
946
00:44:23,829 --> 00:44:26,123
We should get ready to go, guys. We have
to move. We're gonna miss the party.
947
00:44:26,290 --> 00:44:29,251
- That's true.
-Why don't I just wrap all of this up?
948
00:44:29,418 --> 00:44:31,753
You guys can take it down
to the homeless shelter.
949
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,882
It's only a few blocks away.
I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
950
00:44:35,632 --> 00:44:36,675
You're right, Mom.
951
00:44:36,842 --> 00:44:39,219
You boys are so sweet.
Thank you for coming.
952
00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:42,556
- Wanna help me in the kitchen?
-Okay.
953
00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,183
Thanks so much for dinner, Mrs. Roberts.
954
00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:45,976
You're welcome, sweetheart!
955
00:44:46,768 --> 00:44:48,896
Dude, what the fuck is going on with you?
956
00:44:49,646 --> 00:44:51,190
- A re you 'No!
957
00:44:51,356 --> 00:44:52,524
Are you curious?
958
00:44:52,691 --> 00:44:55,402
Everyone is! What does that
have to do with this?
959
00:44:55,569 --> 00:44:57,279
I don't know.
Why are you looking up dicks?
960
00:44:57,446 --> 00:44:59,907
- Someone's sending me dicks.
-Someone's sending you that?
961
00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:03,243
Look, I'll show you. It's a fucking
conversation. It's some guy named James.
962
00:45:03,410 --> 00:45:05,579
A very nice, eloquent man named James
is sending me his penis.
963
00:45:05,746 --> 00:45:06,955
And he wants me to suck on it.
964
00:45:07,122 --> 00:45:09,833
I don't know what to do. I'm fucking
freaking out. Do I do it? Should I do it?
965
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,251
This isn't your phone, man.
966
00:45:11,418 --> 00:45:12,794
Dude, this isn't your phone!
967
00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:14,504
Oh, shit. Is this Sarah's phone?
968
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,090
- Oh, no.
-What?
969
00:45:17,257 --> 00:45:18,675
She has my phone.
970
00:45:18,842 --> 00:45:21,261
It's okay, man. We know her.
We can get your phone back.
971
00:45:21,595 --> 00:45:23,305
There's something bad on my phone.
972
00:45:23,472 --> 00:45:25,098
You gonna be around tomorrow?
973
00:45:25,265 --> 00:45:27,976
Folks out at the church would love to
see you. Aunt would too.
974
00:45:28,143 --> 00:45:30,270
You know I'm busy, '50...
975
00:45:30,437 --> 00:45:32,105
I don't really like to do that stuff, Ma.
976
00:45:32,272 --> 00:45:33,607
Won't take much time, B00.
977
00:45:33,774 --> 00:45:36,193
I know. It's just I have an early flight...
978
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:38,612
...and I really feel bad
that I have to run back to work so fast.
979
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:40,781
I just got so much stuff going on.
980
00:45:40,948 --> 00:45:42,324
I'm a celebrity now.
981
00:45:42,491 --> 00:45:44,576
I got appearances.
I got all kinds of stuff I have to do, Ma.
982
00:45:44,743 --> 00:45:47,412
I can't just be Iollygagging around...
983
00:45:47,579 --> 00:45:49,331
...and meeting old people.
984
00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:51,750
I love you.
985
00:45:51,917 --> 00:45:54,086
Betsy is gonna get that tape from Sarah...
986
00:45:54,253 --> 00:45:55,921
...and she's gonna freak the fuck out.
987
00:45:56,088 --> 00:45:58,090
Why? Why would Betsy get the tape?
988
00:45:58,257 --> 00:46:01,426
Because I put cocaine blood
into her fucking drink.
989
00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:03,428
And no one wants to drink cocaine blood.
990
00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,222
Yeah. I'm gonna Call her.
991
00:46:05,389 --> 00:46:07,432
- How do you know her number?
-It's your number.
992
00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:08,767
I'm trusting you on this.
993
00:46:08,934 --> 00:46:11,144
I don't understand what's happening.
Where are we?
994
00:46:11,311 --> 00:46:13,188
Sarah has your phone.
So I'm calling it.
995
00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:14,648
Where are we right now?
996
00:46:14,815 --> 00:46:16,775
- We're at Chris' house.
-What the fuck?
997
00:46:16,942 --> 00:46:19,569
You just stay calm, all right?
998
00:46:19,736 --> 00:46:21,571
- It'll be okay.
-Oh, yeah.
999
00:46:21,989 --> 00:46:22,990
Oh, yeah.
1000
00:46:23,156 --> 00:46:24,408
You like that?
1001
00:46:25,742 --> 00:46:27,077
Here's the bad news.
1002
00:46:27,244 --> 00:46:28,704
- She didn't pick up.
-What?
1003
00:46:28,870 --> 00:46:30,747
- Everything's fine!
-I bit my tongue!
1004
00:46:30,914 --> 00:46:32,291
That boy need Jesus.
1005
00:46:32,457 --> 00:46:33,625
He needs something.
1006
00:46:33,792 --> 00:46:34,918
It's gonna be okay, though.
1007
00:46:35,085 --> 00:46:37,379
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna
use Find My iPhone and find the phone.
1008
00:46:37,546 --> 00:46:40,424
It's Ioading. There it is! It's in midtown.
1009
00:46:40,590 --> 00:46:43,093
Your phone's in midtown. It's all good.
1010
00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:45,971
Okay. All right. So here's the thing.
1011
00:46:46,138 --> 00:46:48,557
We're gonna go to the party,
because Sarah's gonna go to the party.
1012
00:46:48,724 --> 00:46:49,766
Guys, let's go.
1013
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:51,768
- You be safe.
-Guys, be careful.
1014
00:46:51,935 --> 00:46:52,936
Let's go, guys!
1015
00:46:53,103 --> 00:46:56,273
Baby, hold on. Let me get you a bag.
You're gonna need a bag. Wait up!
1016
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,692
This guy's dick is off the charts.
1017
00:46:58,859 --> 00:47:01,778
Yo, it's your man C-Rob coming at you
Iive from outside the homeless shelter.
1018
00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,822
We delivering turkeys
to homeless people...
1019
00:47:03,989 --> 00:47:06,867
...because it's the giving season and they
do be gobbling, you know what I mean?
1020
00:47:07,034 --> 00:47:10,662
So if you're in the season of giving, hit me
up @Chrisrob11, hashtag "selfless giving."
1021
00:47:10,829 --> 00:47:13,290
And remember, it's not a good deed
if no one knows about it.
1022
00:47:13,457 --> 00:47:14,916
I got another dick, dude!
1023
00:47:15,083 --> 00:47:16,084
Drink Red Bull.
1024
00:47:17,127 --> 00:47:19,046
Oh, shit. Look, man, it's her!
1025
00:47:19,212 --> 00:47:22,466
It's the super fan,
sex maniac that stole my weed.
1026
00:47:22,632 --> 00:47:23,633
Come on, let's follow her.
1027
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,386
No, we're not gonna follow her. Let's just
drop off the food and go to the party!
1028
00:47:26,553 --> 00:47:29,931
Shit! Look! Now she's stealing
from homeless people!
1029
00:47:30,098 --> 00:47:31,475
That's not right!
1030
00:47:31,641 --> 00:47:33,685
- Now, I'm going to teach her a lesson.
-Okay.
1031
00:47:33,852 --> 00:47:36,563
Hey! Did you steal my weed?
1032
00:47:38,023 --> 00:47:39,524
- No.
-We just saw you...
1033
00:47:39,691 --> 00:47:41,860
...rob some homeless people
and I'm missing my weed, so...
1034
00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:44,780
You got me, I stole your weed.
1035
00:47:44,946 --> 00:47:48,909
But I told you right away
that I'm kind of a Grinch. Okay?
1036
00:47:50,744 --> 00:47:51,870
Eat me, sheep.
1037
00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:54,247
You're an actual Grinch.
You're like the mayor of Whoville.
1038
00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:55,916
I'm building a body of work.
1039
00:47:56,083 --> 00:47:58,251
I'm following in the path
of my Christmas heroes:
1040
00:47:58,418 --> 00:48:02,255
The Grinch, the Sticky Bandits,
Hans Gruber from Die Hard.
1041
00:48:02,422 --> 00:48:06,259
I walked by you and I heard you
going on about your Christmas plans...
1042
00:48:06,426 --> 00:48:10,138
...and you're this football douche
and I Google you...
1043
00:48:10,472 --> 00:48:12,808
Jackpot! I pretend to be a fan...
1044
00:48:12,974 --> 00:48:14,267
...we have sex, yes.
1045
00:48:14,434 --> 00:48:15,602
And then I stole your weed.
1046
00:48:15,769 --> 00:48:17,938
It's Christmas! You don't steal
from people on Christmas.
1047
00:48:18,105 --> 00:48:19,398
I just want my weed back.
1048
00:48:19,564 --> 00:48:21,233
You're really cute when you get mad.
1049
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:22,901
That's cute.
1050
00:48:23,068 --> 00:48:26,321
This is the thing I didn't expect.
To fucking like you, dude.
1051
00:48:26,488 --> 00:48:28,323
You are so funny...
1052
00:48:28,490 --> 00:48:30,617
...and talented, and handsome.
1053
00:48:31,201 --> 00:48:33,245
And easy. My God, dude!
1054
00:48:33,995 --> 00:48:35,205
Hey!
1055
00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:38,959
I'm gonna fucking Catch--
1056
00:48:40,001 --> 00:48:41,294
Later, sucka!
1057
00:48:41,461 --> 00:48:42,712
She Home Alone'd me!
1058
00:48:42,879 --> 00:48:43,964
Are these Micro Machines?
1059
00:48:44,131 --> 00:48:45,590
Let's go.
1060
00:48:45,757 --> 00:48:46,800
Girl's a genius.
1061
00:48:46,967 --> 00:48:49,845
Josh, hit the gas! Go!
We got to catch that girl!
1062
00:48:50,011 --> 00:48:52,514
Go down to the corner and make a right!
Hurry up, man! Chase her!
1063
00:48:52,681 --> 00:48:54,850
- Who?
-The girl who stole my weed! Hurry up!
1064
00:48:55,016 --> 00:48:56,351
- She stole your weed?
-Yeah.
1065
00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:58,103
That fucking bitch. I'm gonna kill her.
1066
00:48:58,270 --> 00:48:59,271
Go get her, baby!
1067
00:49:01,648 --> 00:49:02,816
Not so fast!
1068
00:49:08,447 --> 00:49:09,781
Guys, my iPhone's that way!
1069
00:49:09,948 --> 00:49:11,741
We got to find my iPhone!
It's the other direction! Wait!
1070
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:14,703
Slow down!
1071
00:49:14,870 --> 00:49:17,789
Speed up! Don't slow down!
If you're my guy, you won't slow down!
1072
00:49:17,956 --> 00:49:19,082
Hit the gas! Hit the gas!
1073
00:49:19,249 --> 00:49:20,250
Let's go.
1074
00:49:25,255 --> 00:49:26,798
There she is! There she is!
1075
00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,758
We got her! We got her!
1076
00:49:29,718 --> 00:49:31,303
Red light, red light!
1077
00:49:31,470 --> 00:49:33,555
No! You run that light! Are you my guy'?
1078
00:49:34,014 --> 00:49:35,015
I'm your guy.
1079
00:49:35,182 --> 00:49:37,392
Give me your hand!
Run through that light, baby!
1080
00:49:45,942 --> 00:49:50,071
I fucked up. I fucked up.
1081
00:49:50,697 --> 00:49:52,449
I'm sorry.
1082
00:49:54,576 --> 00:49:56,661
- Are we alive?
-Yeah.
1083
00:49:56,828 --> 00:49:59,372
Look. Look, it's a sleigh.
We can still get her.
1084
00:49:59,539 --> 00:50:01,374
No. Let's just go to the party, okay?
1085
00:50:01,541 --> 00:50:02,834
We're going on a sleigh ride!
1086
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:04,294
No! We're not going on a sleigh ride.
1087
00:50:04,461 --> 00:50:05,462
Come on, Joshua!
1088
00:50:08,465 --> 00:50:09,633
Shotgun!
1089
00:50:10,008 --> 00:50:11,635
Shotgun!
1090
00:50:11,801 --> 00:50:14,054
- Hurry up.
-You guys know this can't possibly work.
1091
00:50:14,221 --> 00:50:15,305
Of course it'll work!
1092
00:50:15,472 --> 00:50:17,057
- Let's get that Grinch!
-Let's find my phone!
1093
00:50:17,224 --> 00:50:19,142
Mush, motherfucker!
1094
00:50:26,942 --> 00:50:28,151
I'm stuck!
1095
00:50:28,318 --> 00:50:29,694
My hands are stuck!
1096
00:50:30,612 --> 00:50:32,614
No, no, no!
1097
00:50:32,781 --> 00:50:33,823
Fuck!
1098
00:50:35,325 --> 00:50:36,326
Shit, Shit, Shit!
1099
00:50:38,787 --> 00:50:40,163
Dude!
1100
00:50:40,705 --> 00:50:42,499
What happened just now?
1101
00:50:42,666 --> 00:50:44,209
He's okay. He looks okay.
1102
00:50:44,376 --> 00:50:46,920
We have to go! She went this way!
Let's go get this weed!
1103
00:50:47,087 --> 00:50:48,380
No. Forget about the weed, man!
1104
00:50:48,547 --> 00:50:50,340
We're not gonna split up now.
Let's go to the party.
1105
00:50:50,507 --> 00:50:53,134
No. You don't understand, man!
It's really important! It's for Tommy.
1106
00:50:53,301 --> 00:50:54,427
It's not important!
1107
00:50:54,594 --> 00:50:55,887
I'll meet you at the F Train!
1108
00:50:56,054 --> 00:50:57,931
You fucking believe this guy?
1109
00:50:58,098 --> 00:51:00,016
My phone! It's close! I got to go!
1110
00:51:00,183 --> 00:51:02,519
- No. Listen to me.
-No. You listen to me.
1111
00:51:02,686 --> 00:51:05,313
If I die, they will
play this video at my funeral!
1112
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,357
- Okay! You're on drugs!
-Yes!
1113
00:51:07,524 --> 00:51:08,858
- You're not making sense!
-No!
1114
00:51:09,025 --> 00:51:10,485
- Trust me.
-Okay.
1115
00:51:10,652 --> 00:51:13,071
We're gonna stick together.
And go to the party.
1116
00:51:13,488 --> 00:51:14,614
I'll meet you at the F Train!
1117
00:51:14,781 --> 00:51:17,284
No! Dude! What the fuck!
1118
00:51:18,660 --> 00:51:19,953
This is crazy.
1119
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,456
Oh, come on.
How does this fucking work?
1120
00:51:23,623 --> 00:51:25,417
This is so Confusing.
1121
00:51:25,584 --> 00:51:27,168
Fuck!
1122
00:51:27,335 --> 00:51:28,670
My eyes aren't working.
1123
00:51:28,837 --> 00:51:30,839
What asshole invented this stupid thing?
1124
00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:38,471
- Hey, man. Excuse me.
- Hey, dude. How's it going?
1125
00:51:38,638 --> 00:51:40,390
- I'm Isaac.
-Hi, Isaac.
1126
00:51:40,557 --> 00:51:41,850
I hate to bug you.
1127
00:51:42,017 --> 00:51:45,270
I lost my phone, and I'm using this app
to try to find it.
1128
00:51:45,437 --> 00:51:47,856
I'm kind of having a hard time.
It's confusing me a little bit.
1129
00:51:48,023 --> 00:51:49,232
You think you can maybe help me out?
1130
00:51:49,399 --> 00:51:50,734
Sure, hold my cane for a second.
1131
00:51:50,900 --> 00:51:53,653
Awesome. Sure, I'll hold your cane.
1132
00:51:54,195 --> 00:51:55,655
Hey, Merry Christmas, Isaac.
1133
00:51:55,822 --> 00:51:57,532
Merry Christmas to you too, man.
1134
00:51:57,699 --> 00:51:58,825
Thanks.
1135
00:51:58,992 --> 00:52:00,994
I've been having a pretty crazy night.
1136
00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:04,205
I'm gonna level with you,
I'm a little fucked up right now.
1137
00:52:04,372 --> 00:52:05,540
No way. You don't say?
1138
00:52:05,707 --> 00:52:06,875
Yeah.
1139
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:09,002
- What's your name?
-Spencer.
1140
00:52:09,169 --> 00:52:10,670
That's my family over there.
1141
00:52:10,837 --> 00:52:12,797
Hi! I'm Isaac, nice to meet you.
1142
00:52:12,964 --> 00:52:14,799
- What's up, man?
-Hey.
1143
00:52:15,133 --> 00:52:16,968
You have dogs.
1144
00:52:17,135 --> 00:52:19,304
- Can I pet them?
- Go ahead. They're fine.
1145
00:52:19,471 --> 00:52:21,306
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
1146
00:52:21,473 --> 00:52:23,642
- Hi, guys.
- What's up, Isaac?
1147
00:52:23,808 --> 00:52:25,602
Come on and give us a pat.
1148
00:52:25,769 --> 00:52:27,520
Oh my God, they talk!
1149
00:52:27,687 --> 00:52:29,189
Of course. All dogs can talk.
1150
00:52:29,356 --> 00:52:31,399
- There's another one.
-That tickles.
1151
00:52:31,566 --> 00:52:32,609
Oh, hi. I love you.
1152
00:52:32,776 --> 00:52:33,943
Isaac?
1153
00:52:35,904 --> 00:52:36,988
Betsy!
1154
00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:38,323
Oh, shit.
1155
00:52:40,825 --> 00:52:42,369
Hi.
1156
00:52:42,577 --> 00:52:43,787
Wow.
1157
00:52:44,537 --> 00:52:46,247
- Hi.
-Hi.
1158
00:52:46,414 --> 00:52:47,540
Okay -
1159
00:52:47,957 --> 00:52:50,251
I never wanna let go.
1160
00:52:50,418 --> 00:52:51,878
What's happening?
1161
00:52:52,045 --> 00:52:53,755
What are you doing here right now?
1162
00:52:53,922 --> 00:52:56,132
What were you doing
in the nativity scene?
1163
00:52:56,299 --> 00:52:57,884
I was hanging out
with Spencer and his family.
1164
00:52:58,051 --> 00:52:59,511
- They're really beautiful people.
-Spencer?
1165
00:52:59,678 --> 00:53:01,721
They're great people. They're interracial.
1166
00:53:01,888 --> 00:53:03,973
Why do you have a staff, honey?
1167
00:53:04,349 --> 00:53:06,267
What's happening right now?
Where are we now?
1168
00:53:06,434 --> 00:53:07,977
This is the church. Do you remember?
1169
00:53:08,144 --> 00:53:09,813
- You're here for that?
-Yes.
1170
00:53:09,979 --> 00:53:12,232
And I'm just telling you right now
that you need to go...
1171
00:53:12,399 --> 00:53:15,151
...because my family
is paying for the cab right now.
1172
00:53:15,318 --> 00:53:17,445
So you need to get out of here
before they show up.
1173
00:53:17,612 --> 00:53:18,613
- Your family is coming?
-Yeah.
1174
00:53:18,780 --> 00:53:20,865
- So maybe go and run the other way.
-Where should I go?
1175
00:53:21,032 --> 00:53:22,992
Just fucking go before they get here. Go.
1176
00:53:23,159 --> 00:53:25,412
I love you. Okay? I love you.
1177
00:53:25,578 --> 00:53:27,789
- Okay. I love you. Bye.
-All right, bye.
1178
00:53:27,956 --> 00:53:29,749
That's very sweet. Bye.
1179
00:53:29,916 --> 00:53:31,793
What are you coming back for?
Just go that way!
1180
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:33,211
I don't know where--
1181
00:53:33,378 --> 00:53:35,171
No, no, no! Not inside the church.
1182
00:53:35,338 --> 00:53:36,506
GO, gos go'
1183
00:53:36,673 --> 00:53:37,841
Get the fuck out of here.
1184
00:53:38,007 --> 00:53:40,176
- Wait. I know them. Hi!
-Hi.
1185
00:53:40,343 --> 00:53:41,678
Hi!
1186
00:53:41,845 --> 00:53:44,264
- Oh, my God! Look at you guys.
-It's so good to see you!
1187
00:53:44,431 --> 00:53:45,682
What a hat.
1188
00:53:45,849 --> 00:53:48,268
Why don't you come join us?
Come on in for midnight mass.
1189
00:53:48,435 --> 00:53:50,687
Oh, no. I don't think that's a good idea.
1190
00:53:50,854 --> 00:53:51,855
Why not?
1191
00:53:52,021 --> 00:53:54,274
Because he's hanging out
with his friends tonight. Right, Isaac?
1192
00:53:54,441 --> 00:53:57,068
- I don't see anybody.
-I don't know where they are right now.
1193
00:53:57,235 --> 00:53:59,154
- Come sit with us.
-I've never been in a church.
1194
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,447
Come on.
1195
00:54:00,613 --> 00:54:02,115
Okay. Yeah?
1196
00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:04,242
Yeah. Great! I'll see you in there!
1197
00:54:04,409 --> 00:54:05,869
Let's go to midnight mass together.
1198
00:54:06,035 --> 00:54:08,997
Okay. Yeah, if you say so.
1199
00:54:09,164 --> 00:54:10,665
Save us a seat.
1200
00:54:10,832 --> 00:54:12,333
How fucked up are you right now?
1201
00:54:14,294 --> 00:54:16,588
I'm not fucked up at all, Betsy.
I'm your rock.
1202
00:54:16,755 --> 00:54:18,047
You look like a crack rock.
1203
00:54:18,214 --> 00:54:20,633
I'm not. Don't say that.
Are you mad at me?
1204
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:22,761
- No, just walk normal, please.
- I'm walking normal.
1205
00:54:22,927 --> 00:54:24,387
No, you're not.
1206
00:54:24,554 --> 00:54:26,890
Don't put it there, Isaac.
1207
00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:28,391
And it's gone.
1208
00:54:28,558 --> 00:54:30,685
Hi. Merry Christmas.
1209
00:54:37,525 --> 00:54:39,110
Are you giving birth to piss?
1210
00:54:39,277 --> 00:54:42,280
Oh, my God. I'm just
trying not to shit my pants.
1211
00:54:42,447 --> 00:54:44,199
- You should.
-I should?
1212
00:54:44,365 --> 00:54:45,784
You should just do it. Why not?
1213
00:54:45,950 --> 00:54:47,452
I should just drop a deuce in my shorts.
1214
00:54:47,619 --> 00:54:48,912
Just do it!
1215
00:54:49,078 --> 00:54:52,373
That's great. Two more assholes
that don't give a fuck about Christmas.
1216
00:54:52,540 --> 00:54:53,583
What?
1217
00:54:53,750 --> 00:54:55,126
What are you guys doing?
1218
00:54:55,293 --> 00:54:56,795
Santa pub crawl, bro!
1219
00:54:56,961 --> 00:55:01,591
Guys, Santa Claus is a
very meaningful thing to a lot of people.
1220
00:55:01,758 --> 00:55:04,010
A lot of children!
1221
00:55:04,177 --> 00:55:07,847
Here's the thing, man. For those kids,
they're living a fucking Iie!
1222
00:55:08,014 --> 00:55:09,432
Yeah. Spoiler alert:
1223
00:55:09,599 --> 00:55:11,684
Santa's not real, you pricky infant.
1224
00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:13,311
This is a costume!
1225
00:55:13,478 --> 00:55:17,565
But when you put on that costume
and you portray Santa Claus...
1226
00:55:17,732 --> 00:55:22,237
...you're taking a solemn oath
to represent certain values...
1227
00:55:22,403 --> 00:55:23,988
...that it represents!
1228
00:55:24,155 --> 00:55:27,200
You know who you remind me of?
One of my angry elves.
1229
00:55:27,367 --> 00:55:29,285
Fuck! No. Look, don't call me an elf.
1230
00:55:29,452 --> 00:55:30,829
I think you got him with that one, Santa.
1231
00:55:30,995 --> 00:55:32,622
Fuck you, "don't call me an elf!"
Motherfucker!
1232
00:55:32,789 --> 00:55:34,791
Get back to the workshop!
You work for us, elf!
1233
00:55:34,958 --> 00:55:36,876
Go back to the workshop, elf!
1234
00:55:37,710 --> 00:55:40,505
This little elf has no friends on Christmas.
1235
00:55:40,672 --> 00:55:42,590
My friends are just down there.
1236
00:55:42,757 --> 00:55:45,969
Where are they? We're friends.
We even dressed the same...
1237
00:55:46,135 --> 00:55:48,930
...but you, you're all alone,
just like a fucking dum-dum.
1238
00:55:49,097 --> 00:55:50,598
Oh, my God. Are you gonna cry'?
1239
00:55:51,641 --> 00:55:53,935
Did Mommy and Daddy
leave you alone on Christmas?
1240
00:55:54,102 --> 00:55:55,812
Oh, shit!
1241
00:55:55,979 --> 00:55:59,190
That's for disrespecting
the spirit of Christmas!
1242
00:56:02,610 --> 00:56:03,611
Oh, fuck.
1243
00:56:06,531 --> 00:56:07,532
Fuck you!
1244
00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:09,784
Man, this really feels like
it's about something else here.
1245
00:56:09,951 --> 00:56:12,412
It's about this and only this! Nothing else!
1246
00:56:12,579 --> 00:56:14,414
I think you're sublimating, man.
1247
00:56:14,581 --> 00:56:16,624
I do not wanna hurt you, man.
1248
00:56:16,791 --> 00:56:18,418
No, no, no. I wanna hurt him.
He sucker-punched me.
1249
00:56:21,713 --> 00:56:23,214
You fucking frat boys!
1250
00:56:23,381 --> 00:56:25,133
I'm an orthopedic surgeon.
1251
00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:27,176
I teach third grade, bitch!
1252
00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:30,555
I shape our nation's youth!
1253
00:56:30,722 --> 00:56:32,307
What is with this holiday?
1254
00:56:32,473 --> 00:56:34,392
It just fucks with people's heads.
1255
00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:38,688
This needs to be important to you.
1256
00:56:38,855 --> 00:56:40,648
-It's ringing.
-Okay.
1257
00:56:47,071 --> 00:56:48,072
HG'!-
1258
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:49,908
Hey! Hi!
1259
00:56:50,074 --> 00:56:53,912
Does Isaac have Sarah's phone
by any chance?
1260
00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:55,997
Yeah, he has it.
1261
00:56:56,831 --> 00:56:57,957
- He has it.
-Thank God.
1262
00:56:58,124 --> 00:56:59,125
So relax.
1263
00:56:59,292 --> 00:57:01,461
There is some very sensitive information
on there.
1264
00:57:01,628 --> 00:57:03,963
It's incredibly sensitive.
Wow, what's on the phone?
1265
00:57:04,130 --> 00:57:05,214
You don't need to know.
1266
00:57:05,381 --> 00:57:08,259
How's the party? Is it as dumb
as you thought it'd be?
1267
00:57:08,426 --> 00:57:10,845
Actually, it's kind of amazing.
It's really fun...
1268
00:57:11,012 --> 00:57:13,681
...and you should get here. Quickly.
1269
00:57:13,848 --> 00:57:14,891
What?
1270
00:57:15,058 --> 00:57:16,267
Really?
1271
00:57:16,434 --> 00:57:18,978
You want me to come there? To see you?
1272
00:57:19,145 --> 00:57:21,230
That's what I'm saying.
Come on!
1273
00:57:21,397 --> 00:57:22,899
Do you like him again?
1274
00:57:23,066 --> 00:57:24,233
Can we not have that conversation...
1275
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:25,693
...right now?
-I'm just saying.
1276
00:57:25,860 --> 00:57:26,986
Okay -
1277
00:57:27,153 --> 00:57:28,738
Okay. We'll see you soon.
1278
00:57:32,492 --> 00:57:34,994
Give us this day our daily bread
1279
00:57:35,161 --> 00:57:37,205
And forgive us our trespasses
1280
00:57:40,833 --> 00:57:42,669
- I'm praying.
-I think that's a Jewish thing.
1281
00:57:42,835 --> 00:57:44,295
- I Can't do that here?
-No.
1282
00:57:44,462 --> 00:57:45,463
It's the same God.
1283
00:57:46,297 --> 00:57:47,757
I did it.
1284
00:57:48,132 --> 00:57:49,258
What's everyone doing?
1285
00:57:49,425 --> 00:57:50,551
Sit.
1286
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,178
Sit down.
1287
00:57:54,722 --> 00:57:56,891
- This is so cool.
-Whisper.
1288
00:57:57,058 --> 00:57:59,268
- Are we supposed to participate?
-No.
1289
00:57:59,435 --> 00:58:00,520
Hallelu!
1290
00:58:00,687 --> 00:58:02,188
No. Not that kind of church.
1291
00:58:02,355 --> 00:58:03,439
No?
1292
00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:05,733
You're my rock, right?
Can you be my rock?
1293
00:58:05,900 --> 00:58:07,568
Because you're acting
like a weird pebble.
1294
00:58:07,735 --> 00:58:08,987
Okay. I think I'm good.
1295
00:58:09,153 --> 00:58:10,279
Be a rock.
1296
00:58:21,082 --> 00:58:23,042
Fuck you.
1297
00:58:23,376 --> 00:58:25,211
What's up with this fucking kid over here?
1298
00:58:25,378 --> 00:58:26,587
What?
1299
00:58:26,754 --> 00:58:27,839
What's this kid doing?
1300
00:58:29,424 --> 00:58:31,134
Look over there.
1301
00:58:31,300 --> 00:58:33,720
Look away, dude. Look away!
1302
00:58:34,512 --> 00:58:35,930
Stop.
1303
00:58:36,097 --> 00:58:37,515
Please don't hiss at a kid.
1304
00:58:37,682 --> 00:58:38,683
He's fucking with me.
1305
00:58:38,850 --> 00:58:40,184
I don't think he's talking to you at all.
1306
00:58:41,978 --> 00:58:43,146
Who's that guy?
1307
00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:44,313
What guy?
1308
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:45,648
- The guy on the cross.
-Jesus!
1309
00:58:45,815 --> 00:58:47,233
- Oh, Jesus.
-Stop it.
1310
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:48,401
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1311
00:58:48,568 --> 00:58:49,819
- Is that what they think we did to him?
-Yeah.
1312
00:58:49,986 --> 00:58:51,195
- Can you tell I'm Jewish?
-Yes.
1313
00:58:51,362 --> 00:58:52,739
- How?
-Your fucking sweater.
1314
00:58:54,157 --> 00:58:55,950
- I'm sorry.
-Isaac, stop talking.
1315
00:58:58,661 --> 00:59:00,955
Isaac. Isaac, what are you doing?
1316
00:59:01,539 --> 00:59:04,167
Don't throw up.
Don't you dare throw up in here.
1317
00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:05,960
Swallow it like a girl would.
1318
00:59:06,127 --> 00:59:07,587
Swallow it.
1319
00:59:07,754 --> 00:59:10,048
Did you do it?
Let me see your mouth.
1320
00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:11,591
Don't throw up on me.
1321
00:59:11,758 --> 00:59:12,925
Where's the barf bag?
1322
00:59:13,092 --> 00:59:14,177
There's no barf bags!
1323
00:59:14,343 --> 00:59:16,429
Stop it! No, stop it, Isaac!
1324
00:59:21,809 --> 00:59:23,811
Jesus fucking Christ!
1325
00:59:25,897 --> 00:59:27,899
- He just threw up.
-Yeah.
1326
00:59:28,816 --> 00:59:30,526
Oh, Jesus, fuck me.
1327
00:59:32,945 --> 00:59:35,865
- Is it still happening?
-it's still happening a little.
1328
00:59:40,203 --> 00:59:42,413
We did not kill Jesus!
1329
00:59:42,580 --> 00:59:44,582
We did not do that!
1330
00:59:55,468 --> 00:59:56,803
Give me my weed, you Grinch!
1331
01:00:00,723 --> 01:00:02,100
Shit!
1332
01:00:08,815 --> 01:00:09,899
Come on!
1333
01:00:27,834 --> 01:00:29,127
Fuck!
1334
01:00:32,547 --> 01:00:33,673
What the fuck are you doing?
1335
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:35,258
No, what are you doing, man?
1336
01:00:35,424 --> 01:00:37,510
You have friends who want to
spend the holidays with you.
1337
01:00:37,677 --> 01:00:39,137
You're Iucky you have that.
1338
01:00:39,303 --> 01:00:41,931
You need to appreciate that
before you lose them.
1339
01:00:42,098 --> 01:00:44,392
That's your Christmas lesson.
That's why I'm taking this shit.
1340
01:00:45,768 --> 01:00:47,770
My boy Hans Gruber died like this.
1341
01:00:50,106 --> 01:00:51,357
No!
1342
01:01:12,712 --> 01:01:14,463
What the hell?
1343
01:01:16,632 --> 01:01:17,967
- Help!
-Isaac.
1344
01:01:18,134 --> 01:01:19,427
- What you doing, man?
-Thank God!
1345
01:01:19,594 --> 01:01:21,929
Dude, we've got to get to this party
or I'm gonna get fucking divorced.
1346
01:01:22,096 --> 01:01:23,764
Help me. How does this thing work?
1347
01:01:23,931 --> 01:01:25,433
You got to use your MetroCard.
Go this way.
1348
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:27,393
- Do it, do it, do it.
-Wait.
1349
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,145
All right. Go.
1350
01:01:30,646 --> 01:01:31,731
Did you get the weed back?
1351
01:01:31,898 --> 01:01:33,274
Shit got weird.
I don't wanna talk about it.
1352
01:01:33,441 --> 01:01:34,859
Did you get your phone back?
1353
01:01:35,026 --> 01:01:37,320
No. Not at all. That's a long story.
Look. Hey!
1354
01:01:37,486 --> 01:01:39,113
Oh, shit! What the fuck happened to you?
1355
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:41,032
I got beat up
by a couple of Santa Clauses.
1356
01:01:41,199 --> 01:01:42,909
You got beat up?
1357
01:01:43,075 --> 01:01:45,411
Fuck. When?
1358
01:01:45,578 --> 01:01:48,998
When? You know, a little bit
after you guys ran off without me.
1359
01:01:49,165 --> 01:01:50,416
But why did they beat you up?
1360
01:01:50,583 --> 01:01:51,584
I don't know why they beat me up!
1361
01:01:51,751 --> 01:01:53,002
Did they mug you?
Did they take the tickets?
1362
01:01:53,169 --> 01:01:54,670
No, they didn't take the fucking tickets!
1363
01:01:54,837 --> 01:01:56,130
Then why would they do it?
1364
01:01:56,297 --> 01:01:57,340
I don't know.
1365
01:01:57,506 --> 01:01:59,967
You don't know?
Did they say anything?
1366
01:02:00,134 --> 01:02:01,802
They're just a couple of drunk assholes!
1367
01:02:01,969 --> 01:02:04,555
Look, it wouldn't have happened
if you guys didn't bail on me.
1368
01:02:05,598 --> 01:02:06,724
What the fuck is that?
1369
01:02:06,891 --> 01:02:09,143
Don't do this now.
Please don't do this now!
1370
01:02:09,310 --> 01:02:10,937
So what's up with you, man?
Why are you mad at us?
1371
01:02:11,103 --> 01:02:13,606
Why you blame everything bad
that happens to you on us?
1372
01:02:13,773 --> 01:02:15,858
I'm just saying this is the
last chance we get to do this...
1373
01:02:16,025 --> 01:02:17,235
...and you guys are so wrapped up
in your own shit...
1374
01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:18,402
...you don't really care about Christmas.
1375
01:02:18,569 --> 01:02:19,820
What does that even mean?
1376
01:02:19,987 --> 01:02:21,906
When was the last time
you Checked your phone, Chris?
1377
01:02:22,073 --> 01:02:23,908
Are you sure one of your famous friends...
1378
01:02:24,075 --> 01:02:25,952
...isn't trying to get a hold of you
asking you to fetch him something?
1379
01:02:26,118 --> 01:02:27,995
You used to hate guys like that.
1380
01:02:28,162 --> 01:02:31,499
I get it. I get some success.
I get some new friends and you're jealous.
1381
01:02:31,666 --> 01:02:33,918
Look at you. So you're a success?
1382
01:02:34,085 --> 01:02:35,544
You want to talk about
your newfound success?
1383
01:02:35,711 --> 01:02:36,796
I don't need to talk about it.
1384
01:02:36,963 --> 01:02:38,506
You don't think your two best friends
see through that shit?
1385
01:02:38,673 --> 01:02:40,967
See through what? Let's talk about it.
What do you see, Isaac?
1386
01:02:41,133 --> 01:02:42,260
I don't see anything.
I don't see through anything.
1387
01:02:42,426 --> 01:02:44,011
You're 34 years old.
1388
01:02:44,178 --> 01:02:46,138
Most professional athletes
retire right now...
1389
01:02:46,305 --> 01:02:48,182
...but you just got good. How is that?
1390
01:02:48,349 --> 01:02:49,350
Practice.
1391
01:02:49,517 --> 01:02:51,602
I told you. It was a new diet.
A new regimen.
1392
01:02:51,769 --> 01:02:54,230
A new regimen?
That's what you Call it?
1393
01:02:54,397 --> 01:02:55,982
Yeah, that's what I call it.
What you call it?
1394
01:02:56,148 --> 01:02:58,901
I think I call it putting a needle
in your ass. That's what I call it.
1395
01:02:59,068 --> 01:03:00,945
Okay. Fine.
1396
01:03:01,112 --> 01:03:02,863
I'm on steroids, now what?
1397
01:03:03,281 --> 01:03:05,658
Newsflash: Everybody's on steroids!
1398
01:03:05,825 --> 01:03:06,826
You're a cheater.
1399
01:03:06,993 --> 01:03:08,619
At least I'm doing something with my life.
1400
01:03:08,786 --> 01:03:11,455
What about you? Sitting around
wasting your fucking life away.
1401
01:03:11,622 --> 01:03:13,416
No girlfriend, no money.
1402
01:03:13,582 --> 01:03:17,628
Dude, you make music
that people have never heard.
1403
01:03:17,795 --> 01:03:19,046
It's the saddest shit
I've ever seen in my life!
1404
01:03:19,213 --> 01:03:20,423
Are you fucking serious right now?
1405
01:03:20,589 --> 01:03:22,758
Yeah! You need to get your
fucking life together. Tell him, Isaac.
1406
01:03:22,925 --> 01:03:25,344
You shut up! You're ruining my trip!
1407
01:03:25,511 --> 01:03:27,054
It's really fucked up.
1408
01:03:27,221 --> 01:03:30,099
Fuck this!
Going to the best party of my life...
1409
01:03:30,266 --> 01:03:34,770
...and I'm not wearing some pseudo-racist,
fake-ass acrylic sweater!
1410
01:03:34,937 --> 01:03:37,273
- Don't take off that sweater!
-I'm taking the sweater off!
1411
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:39,442
- Don't take off the sweater.
-Put the fucking sweater back on!
1412
01:03:39,608 --> 01:03:40,651
I'm taking the fucking sweater off!
1413
01:03:42,695 --> 01:03:43,946
Stupid.
1414
01:04:15,061 --> 01:04:16,562
May I help you?
1415
01:04:18,272 --> 01:04:21,901
I have these tickets.
1416
01:04:34,038 --> 01:04:35,206
Come with me.
1417
01:04:42,963 --> 01:04:43,964
Come on.
1418
01:04:47,593 --> 01:04:48,677
Get in there.
1419
01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:22,044
May I take your coats, gentlemen?
1420
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:44,358
All aboard!
1421
01:06:25,858 --> 01:06:27,359
I'm going to find Owens.
1422
01:06:28,611 --> 01:06:30,446
Gonna find my phone.
1423
01:06:32,114 --> 01:06:33,324
I'm gonna go find Diana.
1424
01:06:38,704 --> 01:06:41,790
Oh, shit, Messiah,
White Jesus in the building.
1425
01:06:41,957 --> 01:06:43,042
C-Money in the hizzle.
1426
01:06:43,209 --> 01:06:44,251
- Yo, man.
-I see you made it.
1427
01:06:44,418 --> 01:06:46,670
I wasn't able to get the weed, man.
Shit fell apart. You know what I mean?
1428
01:06:46,837 --> 01:06:48,672
I forgot I even asked you.
You want some weed?
1429
01:06:48,839 --> 01:06:50,549
Have some weed.
1430
01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:52,259
But... All right.
1431
01:06:52,968 --> 01:06:55,095
You got a whole fucking
dump truck of weed?
1432
01:06:55,262 --> 01:06:57,056
Dro fo' sho'.
1433
01:06:57,223 --> 01:06:59,558
- So this it, huh?
-Oh, this is it, baby.
1434
01:06:59,725 --> 01:07:01,644
The Nutcracker Ball!
1435
01:07:01,810 --> 01:07:03,395
Yeah!
1436
01:07:04,396 --> 01:07:05,523
Having an emergency!
1437
01:07:06,941 --> 01:07:08,651
- Oh, my God.
-Sarah!
1438
01:07:08,817 --> 01:07:10,110
Sarah!
1439
01:07:10,277 --> 01:07:11,820
Are you fucking kidding me?
1440
01:07:11,987 --> 01:07:13,239
Get off of me!
What the fuck, dude?
1441
01:07:13,405 --> 01:07:14,740
I'm sorry! I'm just happy!
1442
01:07:14,907 --> 01:07:17,826
- You're so fucking sweaty.
-I know. It's warm and I'm on Molly.
1443
01:07:17,993 --> 01:07:19,578
- Oh, my God! Is that my phone?
-It is your phone. Do you have my phone?
1444
01:07:19,745 --> 01:07:21,705
- Take your piece-of-shit phone back.
-It's the same phone.
1445
01:07:21,872 --> 01:07:23,040
That's why we got them mixed up.
1446
01:07:23,207 --> 01:07:24,375
- But this has some serious shit on it.
-I know.
1447
01:07:24,542 --> 01:07:26,126
Wait. You didn't look at it, did you?
1448
01:07:26,293 --> 01:07:27,628
You didn't look at any shit on my phone,
did you?
1449
01:07:27,795 --> 01:07:28,796
- No.
-Good.
1450
01:07:28,963 --> 01:07:30,381
You didn't look at anything on my phone,
did you?
1451
01:07:30,548 --> 01:07:31,966
I just wanna tell you...
1452
01:07:32,967 --> 01:07:33,968
."good job.
1453
01:07:34,426 --> 01:07:35,553
You did fucking look at my phone.
1454
01:07:36,011 --> 01:07:37,930
I didn't want to.
The texts just were coming in.
1455
01:07:38,097 --> 01:07:39,098
What is the matter with you?
1456
01:07:39,265 --> 01:07:41,350
All these gorgeous dick pics.
A-plus dick pics.
1457
01:07:41,642 --> 01:07:43,143
- That's a boss hog.
-Wait a second, really?
1458
01:07:43,310 --> 01:07:45,187
That dick soft is like
two of my dicks hard.
1459
01:07:45,354 --> 01:07:47,314
Do you think, like, it would be...
1460
01:07:47,481 --> 01:07:49,692
Do you think I could, like, handle it?
1461
01:07:49,858 --> 01:07:51,902
There was a moment where I thought
he was wanting me to handle it...
1462
01:07:52,069 --> 01:07:54,572
...and I had to wrap my head around it
for a second, and I thought to myself:
1463
01:07:54,738 --> 01:07:56,615
"You know what? You hunker down,
you Could take that bad boy."
1464
01:07:56,782 --> 01:07:57,866
- Really?
-Yeah.
1465
01:07:58,033 --> 01:08:00,786
That guy James, whoever James is,
he's got a fantastic COCK on him.
1466
01:08:00,953 --> 01:08:02,871
Yo! Did somebody say "cock"?
1467
01:08:03,038 --> 01:08:04,039
What's up?
1468
01:08:04,206 --> 01:08:05,332
- Hey.
-What are you guys talking about?
1469
01:08:05,499 --> 01:08:06,625
- Nothing.
-Hey, what's up, bro? I'm James.
1470
01:08:06,792 --> 01:08:08,794
- I'm Isaac.
-You don't need to meet him.
1471
01:08:08,961 --> 01:08:10,212
That's your dick!
1472
01:08:10,379 --> 01:08:12,256
- Oh, shit!
-I'm the guy who had the phone!
1473
01:08:12,423 --> 01:08:14,216
- You saw my dick?
-Did I ever! Oh, my God!
1474
01:08:14,383 --> 01:08:15,926
He almost sucked my dick.
1475
01:08:16,093 --> 01:08:17,386
I would have if I'd known
it was you, maybe.
1476
01:08:17,553 --> 01:08:19,096
Oh, shit! Are you guys a Couple?
1477
01:08:19,263 --> 01:08:20,389
- No, no. We're friends.
-Am I the third wheel?
1478
01:08:20,556 --> 01:08:21,599
No, no. You're the first wheel.
1479
01:08:21,765 --> 01:08:23,642
- Am I the third wheel?
-Not at all.
1480
01:08:23,809 --> 01:08:26,145
Honestly, I was with two other guys
all night and now I'm in a fight with them...
1481
01:08:26,312 --> 01:08:27,938
Oh, really? Two other guys?
1482
01:08:28,105 --> 01:08:29,565
I'd love to hang out
with two other people.
1483
01:08:29,732 --> 01:08:31,025
Is that a challenge?
1484
01:08:31,191 --> 01:08:32,610
It might be! Yeah.
1485
01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:35,487
I don't know who I'm gonna start with,
but I know who I'm gonna end with.
1486
01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:37,197
Well, let's get started right now!
1487
01:08:37,364 --> 01:08:39,491
- You guys wanna dance?
-I would love to dance.
1488
01:08:39,658 --> 01:08:41,327
- I would love to dance.
-You wanna dance?
1489
01:08:41,493 --> 01:08:42,953
Let's do it! Come on, Isaac!
1490
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:45,122
Oh, my God. This is so nice!
This is the best!
1491
01:08:45,289 --> 01:08:46,332
What a turn of events!
1492
01:08:46,498 --> 01:08:47,499
What?
1493
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:02,389
Holy fucking shit!
1494
01:09:11,315 --> 01:09:12,316
You're Miley Cyrus.
1495
01:09:12,900 --> 01:09:13,901
Yeah.
1496
01:09:14,068 --> 01:09:15,235
No, you don't understand.
1497
01:09:15,402 --> 01:09:18,697
I was just looking for this girl
that I love, and she loves you.
1498
01:09:18,864 --> 01:09:21,492
Oh, God, no. I did that with two fans
one time. It got super awkward.
1499
01:09:21,659 --> 01:09:24,078
That's not what I meant. Sorry, you don't
understand. That'd be awesome...
1500
01:09:24,244 --> 01:09:25,579
But, no, I just mean...
1501
01:09:26,955 --> 01:09:30,209
This has gotta be some kind of Christmas
miracle, because she talks about you...
1502
01:09:30,376 --> 01:09:32,336
...and your song a lot.
1503
01:09:32,503 --> 01:09:36,590
And I love this girl. I'm starting to realize,
tonight, she's the love of my life.
1504
01:09:36,757 --> 01:09:39,718
And I wanted tonight to be sort of a
special night for me and her.
1505
01:09:39,927 --> 01:09:42,930
- Now you're here and...
-You want to propose tonight?
1506
01:09:43,097 --> 01:09:46,225
Oh, my God! That is so romantic.
That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
1507
01:09:46,392 --> 01:09:48,727
I mean, I was just thinking you could
like dedicate a song to her.
1508
01:09:48,894 --> 01:09:51,355
What? You gotta propose!
1509
01:09:51,522 --> 01:09:54,608
Come on! It's Christmas.
It's like, go big or go fucking home!
1510
01:09:54,775 --> 01:09:57,069
I mean, you love this girl.
You say you love her, right?
1511
01:09:57,236 --> 01:10:00,447
Yeah. But I don't know
if tonight's the right time for--
1512
01:10:00,614 --> 01:10:03,367
Oh, God. Are you one of those guys
that are always making up excuses?
1513
01:10:03,534 --> 01:10:04,952
I fucking hate those kind of guys.
1514
01:10:05,119 --> 01:10:06,453
No, Miley Cyrus,
I'm not one of those guys.
1515
01:10:06,620 --> 01:10:09,164
All right, then don't be a pussy!
You got to propose to her!
1516
01:10:09,331 --> 01:10:12,543
There's all this magic in the air,
people want to fall in love.
1517
01:10:13,252 --> 01:10:15,713
Okay. Okay!
Then I will!
1518
01:10:15,879 --> 01:10:17,256
This is a sign if I've ever seen a sign!
1519
01:10:17,673 --> 01:10:20,175
- It's gonna be fucking awesome.
-I'm gonna propose!
1520
01:10:20,342 --> 01:10:21,719
Yeah, you're gonna propose!
And I'm gonna help you out.
1521
01:10:21,885 --> 01:10:24,680
We're gonna propose!
Oh, my God! We're gonna propose!
1522
01:10:24,847 --> 01:10:26,890
We're gonna propose! Okay!
1523
01:10:27,057 --> 01:10:29,727
Miley Cyrus, this is the nicest thing
that anyone's ever done for me!
1524
01:10:29,893 --> 01:10:31,645
You gotta stop calling me Miley Cyrus.
1525
01:10:31,812 --> 01:10:33,731
- What should I call you?
-Hannah.
1526
01:10:34,690 --> 01:10:36,734
Just kidding. I'm drunk.
Let's do this thing!
1527
01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:38,736
- What's up, man?
-Hey, Chris.
1528
01:10:38,902 --> 01:10:40,988
- Yeah, what up, boy?
-Hey, what's up, K?
1529
01:10:41,155 --> 01:10:43,449
Hey, Reverend Run, man.
It's your boy, Reverend Run.
1530
01:10:43,615 --> 01:10:45,117
What that supposed to mean?
1531
01:10:45,284 --> 01:10:47,703
Hey, Messiah.
Check this shit out, dude.
1532
01:10:48,287 --> 01:10:50,914
- Oh, shit. Is this you?
-The fuck is that?
1533
01:10:51,081 --> 01:10:52,666
Nah, it was a Make-A-Wish thing, man.
1534
01:10:52,833 --> 01:10:56,378
Those two kids have Crohn's disease.
It was their wish to do karaoke with me.
1535
01:10:56,545 --> 01:10:59,256
Man, damn dog,
you look just as white as they do.
1536
01:10:59,423 --> 01:11:01,633
- Yeah, which one are you?
-Look at that sweater!
1537
01:11:04,636 --> 01:11:07,723
I QOÌ you!
I got you! I got you.
1538
01:11:07,890 --> 01:11:09,141
Oh, man!
1539
01:11:09,308 --> 01:11:10,768
- Yeah!
-Yeah.
1540
01:11:10,934 --> 01:11:12,561
- You're a great dancer, man.
-Oh, thanks, dude.
1541
01:11:12,728 --> 01:11:15,397
Appreciate it. I'm pretty high
on Molly right now.
1542
01:11:15,564 --> 01:11:17,691
I'm high too. I'm high too.
1543
01:11:17,858 --> 01:11:19,985
- I am digging this beard.
-Thanks, man.
1544
01:11:20,152 --> 01:11:22,404
- Yo, carpet match the drapes?
-Yeah, I got a big bush.
1545
01:11:23,363 --> 01:11:26,366
My carpet matches my drapes.
1546
01:11:26,533 --> 01:11:29,203
Look at this guy!
He's furry all over!
1547
01:11:29,995 --> 01:11:30,996
Nice!
1548
01:11:31,163 --> 01:11:33,707
You need to get the fuck out of here.
You're being a huge cockblock.
1549
01:11:33,874 --> 01:11:35,000
I'm not being a cockblock.
1550
01:11:35,167 --> 01:11:36,376
- Yes, you are!
-What the fuck are you talking about?
1551
01:11:36,543 --> 01:11:39,755
I don't think I could block this guy's cock.
It'd take ten men to block that thing.
1552
01:11:43,050 --> 01:11:45,928
- Merry Christmas, New York City!
-Oh, no. Miley's here?
1553
01:11:46,094 --> 01:11:47,638
Miley Cyrus?
1554
01:11:48,263 --> 01:11:52,184
We clawed, we chained
Our hearts in vain
1555
01:11:52,351 --> 01:11:53,936
We jumped
1556
01:11:54,102 --> 01:11:55,979
Never asking why
1557
01:11:56,146 --> 01:11:58,148
- This is great!
-This is so cool.
1558
01:11:58,315 --> 01:12:00,067
Where's Diana?
This is, like, our song.
1559
01:12:00,651 --> 01:12:04,279
A love no one could deny
1560
01:12:04,446 --> 01:12:06,198
All right, everybody,
give it up to my friend.
1561
01:12:06,365 --> 01:12:07,574
What the fuck is your name again?
1562
01:12:07,741 --> 01:12:08,742
- Ethan.
-Ethan!
1563
01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:17,543
Don't you ever say I just walked away
1564
01:12:17,709 --> 01:12:20,963
I will always want you
1565
01:12:22,047 --> 01:12:23,966
I forgot these words
1566
01:12:24,132 --> 01:12:25,676
Doesn't matter though
1567
01:12:26,301 --> 01:12:30,180
I will always want you
1568
01:12:31,181 --> 01:12:35,602
I came in like a wrecking ball
1569
01:12:35,769 --> 01:12:39,189
I never hit so hard in love
1570
01:12:39,356 --> 01:12:43,110
AH I wanted was to break your walls
1571
01:12:43,485 --> 01:12:47,906
AH you ever did was wreck me
1572
01:12:48,448 --> 01:12:49,783
Yeah, you
1573
01:12:49,950 --> 01:12:51,660
You wreck me
1574
01:12:51,827 --> 01:12:53,495
Yeah!
1575
01:12:54,955 --> 01:12:56,039
Diana...
1576
01:12:58,417 --> 01:12:59,710
Dude, can you move?
1577
01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:02,588
In the red. Move.
Yeah, thanks.
1578
01:13:03,547 --> 01:13:04,548
Diana...
1579
01:13:05,632 --> 01:13:08,719
...listen, I know we're not really even
going out anymore...
1580
01:13:08,886 --> 01:13:11,013
...and that's because I wouldn't commit.
1581
01:13:11,179 --> 01:13:13,348
- This is crazy.
-But I'm ready to Commit. Hard.
1582
01:13:13,515 --> 01:13:15,976
I'm ready to commit
1583
01:13:16,518 --> 01:13:18,061
Hard like a wrecking ball.
1584
01:13:19,730 --> 01:13:21,815
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me, girl.
1585
01:13:22,691 --> 01:13:25,485
You make me laugh. You're cool as hell.
You don't take any shit.
1586
01:13:26,153 --> 01:13:27,404
None of his shit
1587
01:13:27,571 --> 01:13:28,572
You're smarter than I am.
1588
01:13:28,739 --> 01:13:30,782
- You're probably better than I deserve.
-This is so romantic.
1589
01:13:31,700 --> 01:13:32,993
But go big or go home.
Right, Miley?
1590
01:13:33,160 --> 01:13:34,328
No, E.
1591
01:13:34,494 --> 01:13:37,998
Go big or go home
1592
01:13:38,332 --> 01:13:41,668
When I let you go,
that was just me fucking up...
1593
01:13:41,835 --> 01:13:44,087
...but I don't wanna ever let you go again.
Not now, not ever.
1594
01:13:44,254 --> 01:13:46,381
And definitely not on fucking Christmas!
1595
01:13:46,548 --> 01:13:48,926
On fucking Christmas
1596
01:13:49,092 --> 01:13:50,677
So this is it, Diana.
1597
01:13:50,844 --> 01:13:53,221
- Only live once, bro!
-Stop encouraging him, James.
1598
01:13:54,348 --> 01:13:55,599
Will you marry me?
1599
01:13:57,851 --> 01:13:59,895
Say yes. Yes.
1600
01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:07,402
- Yes.
-Yeah!
1601
01:14:07,819 --> 01:14:09,488
- Fuck!
-Yes!
1602
01:14:10,155 --> 01:14:14,076
I came in like a wrecking ball
1603
01:14:14,242 --> 01:14:17,287
I never hit so hard in love
1604
01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:22,000
AH I wanted was to break your walls
1605
01:14:22,167 --> 01:14:26,171
AH you ever did was wreck me
1606
01:14:26,713 --> 01:14:28,256
I came in like a wrecking ball
1607
01:14:28,423 --> 01:14:30,968
Okay, I gotta go find my friend real fast.
Excuse me.
1608
01:14:31,134 --> 01:14:35,931
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall
1609
01:14:36,098 --> 01:14:37,975
I'm gonna be right back.
1610
01:14:38,141 --> 01:14:39,393
Y'all stay black.
1611
01:14:39,768 --> 01:14:41,103
- Hey.
-Yeah?
1612
01:14:41,269 --> 01:14:43,230
All this romance is getting me really hot.
1613
01:14:43,397 --> 01:14:44,564
You wanna go back to the hotel room?
1614
01:14:44,731 --> 01:14:46,400
Hey, I feel like you might be gay.
1615
01:14:47,234 --> 01:14:49,319
- Not right now, I'm not.
-Okay.
1616
01:14:49,486 --> 01:14:50,821
- All right.
-Okay.
1617
01:14:51,154 --> 01:14:52,781
Oh, my fucking God! Oh, my God!
1618
01:14:52,948 --> 01:14:54,658
Oh, my God!
This is the greatest night of our lives!
1619
01:14:54,825 --> 01:14:56,827
- That was crazy.
-That's so crazy, right?
1620
01:14:56,994 --> 01:14:59,913
Listen, I'm sorry about the ring.
I'll get you a ring, I promise.
1621
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:01,206
We can do that tomorrow.
1622
01:15:01,373 --> 01:15:03,208
No, Ethan, I'm not going to marry you.
1623
01:15:03,375 --> 01:15:04,501
What do you mean?
1624
01:15:04,668 --> 01:15:07,045
We're not even together.
1625
01:15:07,212 --> 01:15:09,214
I haven't even spoken to you in,
like, three months!
1626
01:15:09,381 --> 01:15:10,590
Yes, I addressed that in the speech.
1627
01:15:10,757 --> 01:15:12,801
I know, and then you show up here
and you propose to me...
1628
01:15:12,968 --> 01:15:14,845
...in front of hundreds and hundreds
of people.
1629
01:15:15,012 --> 01:15:16,013
That's Crazy.
1630
01:15:16,179 --> 01:15:19,391
Wait, I'm sorry.
We're not getting married? This is a no?
1631
01:15:19,558 --> 01:15:21,977
No! It's a no! No!
1632
01:15:22,144 --> 01:15:25,689
I'm so sorry that you're clearly
going through a lot right now.
1633
01:15:25,856 --> 01:15:28,567
I'm sorry that your friends don't wanna
hang out with you on Christmas.
1634
01:15:28,734 --> 01:15:30,193
I understand that that's hard for you.
1635
01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:33,947
That is not a reason for you
to grab onto me like I'm your Iifeline!
1636
01:15:35,407 --> 01:15:36,408
Why'd you say yes?
1637
01:15:37,284 --> 01:15:39,453
I said yes because
everybody was looking at me.
1638
01:15:39,619 --> 01:15:42,539
I said yes, because Miley clearly wanted
me to say yes!
1639
01:15:42,706 --> 01:15:45,083
And I didn't want Miley to think
that I hated love!
1640
01:15:46,710 --> 01:15:48,045
That's understandable.
1641
01:15:48,211 --> 01:15:50,005
I wouldn't want that either.
1642
01:15:50,839 --> 01:15:52,591
Okay, look, I...
1643
01:15:54,051 --> 01:15:56,678
I was really just trying to do what I
thought you wanted me to do...
1644
01:15:56,845 --> 01:15:58,680
...and that's because I love you.
1645
01:15:58,847 --> 01:16:00,182
It's been three months, I haven't stopped.
1646
01:16:00,348 --> 01:16:01,600
I'm not gonna stop.
1647
01:16:02,100 --> 01:16:04,728
I'm not your answer...
1648
01:16:04,895 --> 01:16:06,646
...right now, Ethan.
1649
01:16:07,814 --> 01:16:10,025
Wait, wait. No, no.
Can we talk?
1650
01:16:17,324 --> 01:16:20,035
Oh, my God! Hi!
1651
01:16:20,202 --> 01:16:21,286
- You're Tommy Owens!
-Yeah, yeah, thank you.
1652
01:16:21,453 --> 01:16:22,496
You're the Messiah!
1653
01:16:22,662 --> 01:16:25,373
You really are the Messiah!
You saved my fantasy team last year, bro!
1654
01:16:25,540 --> 01:16:27,000
- I'm a huge fan of yours.
-All right, that's good to know.
1655
01:16:27,167 --> 01:16:28,168
You have a good night.
1656
01:16:28,335 --> 01:16:29,336
- You're big in real life.
-Pleasure, man.
1657
01:16:29,503 --> 01:16:30,796
Look, can you help me out?
1658
01:16:30,962 --> 01:16:33,965
We have a friend in common. Chris.
1659
01:16:34,132 --> 01:16:36,176
- I'm Iooking for my buddy Ethan.
-Oh, shit.
1660
01:16:37,969 --> 01:16:40,180
- Hey!
-I'm sorry!
1661
01:16:40,347 --> 01:16:42,140
I'm sorry, I got it. I got it.
1662
01:16:45,060 --> 01:16:46,228
Oh, no.
1663
01:16:46,394 --> 01:16:47,813
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-Are you okay?
1664
01:16:47,979 --> 01:16:49,731
Hey, it's glass, man.
Why you picking it up?
1665
01:16:49,898 --> 01:16:51,108
I'm just trying to help out, man.
1666
01:16:51,316 --> 01:16:53,193
- Come on.
-Oh, shit!
1667
01:16:55,737 --> 01:16:56,905
Holy shit!
1668
01:16:57,489 --> 01:16:58,573
I'm sorry!
1669
01:16:59,658 --> 01:17:01,576
The Jewish guy crucified the Messiah!
1670
01:17:01,743 --> 01:17:04,246
It was rabbi dancing motherfucker!
1671
01:17:05,330 --> 01:17:08,166
It's happening again!
1672
01:17:09,584 --> 01:17:12,671
Ethan! Ethan!
Diana!
1673
01:17:13,630 --> 01:17:14,798
Congratulations!
1674
01:17:14,965 --> 01:17:17,551
- No! Stop congratulating me!
-What? What happened?
1675
01:17:17,717 --> 01:17:19,636
Just go talk to Ethan.
1676
01:17:19,803 --> 01:17:21,096
Shit.
1677
01:17:21,721 --> 01:17:24,933
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I think he's gonna be fine.
1678
01:17:25,100 --> 01:17:26,101
Please, punch him in the face!
1679
01:17:26,268 --> 01:17:28,395
I thought the Messiah
preached forgiveness!
1680
01:17:28,562 --> 01:17:30,480
Look at me, asshole.
What the fuck wrong with you?
1681
01:17:30,647 --> 01:17:33,567
- Who the fuck are you?
-Hey. He's my friend!
1682
01:17:33,733 --> 01:17:34,943
Back off, man!
1683
01:17:36,862 --> 01:17:38,572
Yo! Back the fuck up, all right?
1684
01:17:38,738 --> 01:17:41,241
Oh, shitjust got real, huh?
Yeah, go ahead and punch him, man.
1685
01:17:41,783 --> 01:17:43,034
TMZ will love that shit.
1686
01:17:43,201 --> 01:17:45,328
I got the biggest motherfucking phone
on the planet.
1687
01:17:45,495 --> 01:17:48,081
And your ass will be trending
in 10 minutes.
1688
01:17:48,248 --> 01:17:50,876
Who in here follow Chrisrob11?
1689
01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:52,460
Put your fucking hands down!
1690
01:17:52,627 --> 01:17:54,796
- His social media game is crazy!
-Crazy!
1691
01:17:54,963 --> 01:17:56,506
Run.
1692
01:17:56,882 --> 01:17:59,634
Go, go. Get out. No! No!
1693
01:18:00,510 --> 01:18:01,553
Yeah!
1694
01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:04,764
- No, no!
-I'm a lawyer! I'm a Iawyer!
1695
01:18:18,570 --> 01:18:22,240
- Magical night, isn't it?
-Jesus. You scared me.
1696
01:18:22,741 --> 01:18:24,367
Mr. Green.
1697
01:18:24,993 --> 01:18:26,411
Man, you're everywhere tonight.
1698
01:18:27,621 --> 01:18:29,915
I end every Christmas at this party.
1699
01:18:30,081 --> 01:18:31,499
What do you mean? How do you get in?
1700
01:18:31,666 --> 01:18:32,959
It's my party-
1701
01:18:33,126 --> 01:18:34,127
What?
1702
01:18:34,586 --> 01:18:36,338
About 20 years ago...
1703
01:18:36,504 --> 01:18:38,673
...I read The Great Gatsby.
1704
01:18:39,382 --> 01:18:41,051
I love that book.
1705
01:18:41,218 --> 01:18:43,470
Movie's all right,
3D gives me a headache...
1706
01:18:43,637 --> 01:18:45,680
...but I'm a sucker for Leo.
1707
01:18:47,599 --> 01:18:48,934
So this guy...
1708
01:18:49,100 --> 01:18:52,145
...he throws all these parties
and nobody knows who he is.
1709
01:18:52,646 --> 01:18:55,315
I thought,
"Wow, that's pretty fucking cool."
1710
01:18:55,815 --> 01:18:58,735
My cousin Larry's got this
giant warehouse in Brooklyn...
1711
01:18:58,902 --> 01:19:02,530
...figured I'm working on Christmas
anyway, so I should do it too.
1712
01:19:02,697 --> 01:19:04,908
We started out pretty small.
1713
01:19:05,075 --> 01:19:07,869
Just a punch bowl
and some sleigh bells...
1714
01:19:08,036 --> 01:19:12,624
...and it gets bigger and bigger every year.
This year we added that train.
1715
01:19:12,791 --> 01:19:14,709
- Through the trippy tunnel of lights.
-Yeah.
1716
01:19:14,876 --> 01:19:16,753
- Cool way to enter a party, right?
-Yeah.
1717
01:19:18,463 --> 01:19:19,714
What'd you think of Miley?
1718
01:19:20,131 --> 01:19:22,425
Yeah, she was great.
She was great.
1719
01:19:24,344 --> 01:19:27,180
Ethan, you and I both know,
Miley was flawless.
1720
01:19:28,723 --> 01:19:30,558
Something's bugging you.
1721
01:19:34,187 --> 01:19:37,065
Your friends, they ain't gonna leave you.
1722
01:19:37,691 --> 01:19:38,858
They need you, kid.
1723
01:19:39,442 --> 01:19:40,610
How do you know about that?
1724
01:19:42,070 --> 01:19:43,905
Smoke this.
1725
01:19:44,364 --> 01:19:47,409
Nah, I'm good, man.
Weed makes me paranoid now.
1726
01:19:47,742 --> 01:19:50,704
This is the staff of life.
1727
01:19:50,954 --> 01:19:52,622
Okay -
1728
01:19:52,789 --> 01:19:54,457
You're making me a little uncomfortable.
1729
01:19:54,624 --> 01:19:58,461
I've been told my quiet intensity
has that effect on people.
1730
01:19:59,129 --> 01:20:00,880
But sometimes...
1731
01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:03,925
...being uncomfortable
can be a good thing.
1732
01:20:19,316 --> 01:20:21,776
Fuck it. Thanks.
1733
01:20:38,084 --> 01:20:39,336
- Hey.
-Hey, man.
1734
01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:41,671
- Sup,dude?
-What are you guys doing here?
1735
01:20:41,838 --> 01:20:44,841
We just thought maybe
you'd wanna hang out.
1736
01:20:45,008 --> 01:20:46,760
Some company or something.
1737
01:20:46,926 --> 01:20:48,928
- Just say what's up.
-Yeah, just say what's up.
1738
01:20:49,095 --> 01:20:50,472
That's cool.
1739
01:20:50,638 --> 01:20:52,307
I'm packing all this shit up.
1740
01:20:52,474 --> 01:20:54,809
Old people have so much stuff.
You guys remember that.
1741
01:20:54,976 --> 01:20:56,978
You have to throw things away in life.
1742
01:20:57,145 --> 01:20:58,772
For sure.
1743
01:21:01,358 --> 01:21:03,777
- Play some Nintendo?
-Yeah, N64?
1744
01:21:03,943 --> 01:21:06,237
I think I'm just gonna chill here.
1745
01:21:06,404 --> 01:21:09,741
I appreciate you guys Coming over,
but I think I'm just gonna--
1746
01:21:09,908 --> 01:21:12,744
No, man. Fuck that, dude.
It's Christmas.
1747
01:21:12,911 --> 01:21:14,954
You Can't be alone.
Let's hang out.
1748
01:21:17,332 --> 01:21:20,126
Go to my mom's house.
Play some "GoldenEye."
1749
01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:22,796
Come on. Look, I got some whiskey.
1750
01:21:22,962 --> 01:21:24,923
I stole some hash from my brother.
Rolled it in this doob.
1751
01:21:25,090 --> 01:21:27,384
We get pretty fucked up.
1752
01:21:34,599 --> 01:21:35,725
I'm sorry.
1753
01:21:35,892 --> 01:21:37,727
- No. It's cool.
-It's all good.
1754
01:21:37,894 --> 01:21:39,562
It's okay, man.
1755
01:21:46,361 --> 01:21:47,987
I just miss them.
1756
01:21:49,155 --> 01:21:50,281
We miss them too.
1757
01:21:50,448 --> 01:21:51,950
Yeah, man.
1758
01:21:52,117 --> 01:21:53,827
But you know what?
1759
01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:55,995
We're your new family now.
1760
01:21:56,162 --> 01:21:58,081
I'll be your daddy,
Chris'll be your mommy.
1761
01:21:58,248 --> 01:21:59,791
No, I'm gonna be the daddy,
you be the mom.
1762
01:22:01,376 --> 01:22:02,669
You guys are good friends.
1763
01:22:02,836 --> 01:22:04,212
We'll be here
whenever you need us, man.
1764
01:22:04,379 --> 01:22:05,422
Always, man.
1765
01:22:05,588 --> 01:22:07,841
Yeah, always there for you, bro.
1766
01:22:10,760 --> 01:22:11,761
You can't smoke that in here.
1767
01:22:11,928 --> 01:22:13,388
You can't smoke that in here.
1768
01:22:13,555 --> 01:22:15,265
Figure we can now.
1769
01:22:16,850 --> 01:22:18,476
- Yeah.
-Yeah.
1770
01:22:18,643 --> 01:22:20,395
- Fuck, that's crazy.
-What we hiding this for?
1771
01:22:20,562 --> 01:22:21,896
Take a hit, dude.
1772
01:22:22,063 --> 01:22:23,440
A little bit for the homeys.
1773
01:22:23,606 --> 01:22:25,233
It's so cold outside too.
1774
01:22:25,817 --> 01:22:28,820
We should go to Christmas Tree
at Rockefeller Center.
1775
01:22:28,987 --> 01:22:30,613
- Yes.
-That's a good idea.
1776
01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:32,282
Then we go to FAO Schwarz...
1777
01:22:32,449 --> 01:22:34,033
And we dance on the piano!
1778
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:36,202
- Like Tom Hanks in Big.
-"Heart and Soul."
1779
01:22:36,369 --> 01:22:38,496
Then we eat Chinese food,
because I'm fucking high.
1780
01:22:38,663 --> 01:22:41,332
And then go to the karaoke spot
right by the Chinese food place.
1781
01:22:41,499 --> 01:22:43,751
That's a fucking good idea.
1782
01:22:44,043 --> 01:22:45,670
It's a dope night.
1783
01:22:52,594 --> 01:22:54,929
That was fucking touching, yo.
1784
01:22:56,222 --> 01:22:58,725
Those are some ride-or-die homeys
you got there.
1785
01:22:58,892 --> 01:23:00,894
Cherish that shit.
1786
01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:03,980
It's all different now.
1787
01:23:04,481 --> 01:23:06,149
Those guys don't need me anymore.
1788
01:23:06,608 --> 01:23:08,485
Oh, yeah? Listen.
1789
01:23:08,651 --> 01:23:11,070
We need him!
We're not leaving without him!
1790
01:23:11,237 --> 01:23:13,448
He's my best friend in the whole world.
I Can't leave him here.
1791
01:23:13,615 --> 01:23:16,242
Don't let the red noses fool you,
these fuckers are tough.
1792
01:23:16,409 --> 01:23:18,036
What if I run in,
and you try to climb in a window?
1793
01:23:18,203 --> 01:23:19,954
Maybe if you boost me up
we Can get around them.
1794
01:23:20,121 --> 01:23:21,664
No, I can't boost you,
you're too heavy, man.
1795
01:23:21,831 --> 01:23:24,083
We need our friend
and we'll never leave him behind!
1796
01:23:24,250 --> 01:23:26,836
- Hand him over, reindeer!
-Yo!
1797
01:23:27,003 --> 01:23:28,046
I'll charge and you go.
1798
01:23:28,213 --> 01:23:29,380
- There he is!
-Hey!
1799
01:23:29,547 --> 01:23:31,382
Thank God, we've been
looking everywhere for you!
1800
01:23:31,549 --> 01:23:32,842
Rudolph is kicking our ass!
1801
01:23:33,009 --> 01:23:34,969
- I'm here!
-Get down here so we can go!
1802
01:23:35,136 --> 01:23:36,137
Here I come!
1803
01:23:36,304 --> 01:23:38,223
Come around!
1804
01:23:38,389 --> 01:23:41,059
I'm fucking-- I got your nose!
1805
01:23:41,226 --> 01:23:43,061
I got your nose, asshole!
1806
01:23:43,228 --> 01:23:45,647
How about that, Rudolph?
1807
01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:49,567
- Thanks, Mr. Green.
-You're welcome.
1808
01:23:57,784 --> 01:23:59,285
It was a pretty dumb thing you did.
1809
01:23:59,452 --> 01:24:01,037
I know. I didn't think it through at all.
1810
01:24:01,204 --> 01:24:02,956
I just saw her at the bar and just...
1811
01:24:03,122 --> 01:24:05,625
I don't know man,
I really, really like this girl.
1812
01:24:05,792 --> 01:24:07,335
I Can't help it.
1813
01:24:07,502 --> 01:24:11,130
I was scared of being alone
and did some stupid shit.
1814
01:24:11,839 --> 01:24:13,383
I think she just wanted you to do...
1815
01:24:13,550 --> 01:24:16,344
...some normal shit that boyfriends do
after two years of dating.
1816
01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:18,805
But I'm not normal. You know this.
I'm not normal.
1817
01:24:18,972 --> 01:24:21,182
Bunch of abnormal shit happened to me.
1818
01:24:21,641 --> 01:24:24,227
Or, I don't know,
maybe that's just an excuse.
1819
01:24:25,937 --> 01:24:28,106
I guess I'm pretty good
at making excuses.
1820
01:24:28,273 --> 01:24:29,941
- Yeah.
-All the time.
1821
01:24:30,108 --> 01:24:32,902
If you get paid for that
you'd be really successful.
1822
01:24:33,069 --> 01:24:34,237
Why didn't you tell me?
1823
01:24:34,404 --> 01:24:36,155
You know, it's hard to tell someone.
1824
01:24:36,322 --> 01:24:38,074
You have a good reason
to be making excuses.
1825
01:24:38,241 --> 01:24:39,659
It's just kind of ruining your life.
1826
01:24:44,163 --> 01:24:46,791
It's harder to stay friends with people
when you're older.
1827
01:24:46,958 --> 01:24:49,627
You have so much
of your own shit going on.
1828
01:24:49,794 --> 01:24:51,963
We'll just have to try harder.
1829
01:24:52,130 --> 01:24:53,673
It's important, you know?
1830
01:24:54,007 --> 01:24:55,466
Come on.
1831
01:24:55,967 --> 01:24:57,719
I really love you.
1832
01:24:57,885 --> 01:24:59,012
I love you a lot.
1833
01:24:59,178 --> 01:25:00,471
Thanks, man.
1834
01:25:02,557 --> 01:25:03,600
Oh, no.
1835
01:25:04,767 --> 01:25:06,603
- Oh, no.
-What's up?
1836
01:25:06,769 --> 01:25:07,770
I have 96 missed calls.
1837
01:25:08,605 --> 01:25:09,606
Holy shit.
1838
01:25:09,772 --> 01:25:13,026
- Oh, no, Betsy's gone into labor, I bet.
-No.
1839
01:25:13,192 --> 01:25:15,737
Why the fuck would she call that
many times? Oh, no, she's calling again.
1840
01:25:16,613 --> 01:25:17,614
Hello?
1841
01:25:18,197 --> 01:25:20,783
Hello? Yes. All right.
1842
01:25:20,950 --> 01:25:23,369
All right. That's fine.
1843
01:25:23,536 --> 01:25:27,248
I will be right there.
As fast as I can. Don't worry.
1844
01:25:29,167 --> 01:25:30,627
Betsy's going into fucking labor.
1845
01:25:30,793 --> 01:25:32,378
- What?
-What?
1846
01:25:35,214 --> 01:25:37,008
Oh, no! Oh, no!
1847
01:25:37,175 --> 01:25:39,218
- Come on!
-Oh, no!
1848
01:25:40,428 --> 01:25:43,014
We'll never get a fucking cab over here!
1849
01:25:43,181 --> 01:25:44,390
Wait, look!
1850
01:25:45,933 --> 01:25:48,519
It's Mr. Green's car!
It's a Christmas miracle!
1851
01:25:48,686 --> 01:25:50,146
- Isaac, can you drive?
-Yeah!
1852
01:25:50,313 --> 01:25:52,649
No, no, no, I'm kidding! I'll drive!
1853
01:26:02,075 --> 01:26:04,702
I believe I finally earned these.
1854
01:26:11,084 --> 01:26:12,919
Come on. I got you. I got you.
1855
01:26:13,086 --> 01:26:16,005
No, no, no. There you go.
There you go.
1856
01:26:17,882 --> 01:26:20,343
Get out of the way!
1857
01:26:28,184 --> 01:26:30,269
Where is she? Where is she?
1858
01:26:33,314 --> 01:26:35,775
Cindy? Where is she?
Is everything okay?
1859
01:26:35,942 --> 01:26:37,694
It's okay. Nothing happened.
1860
01:26:37,860 --> 01:26:38,903
It was a false alarm.
1861
01:26:39,070 --> 01:26:40,571
Oh, God!
1862
01:26:40,738 --> 01:26:42,323
False alarm!
1863
01:26:42,699 --> 01:26:43,783
Betsy?
1864
01:26:43,950 --> 01:26:45,368
Thank God. I'm so sorry.
1865
01:26:45,535 --> 01:26:46,786
Where were you?
1866
01:26:46,953 --> 01:26:48,287
I made a mistake.
I made a huge mistake.
1867
01:26:48,454 --> 01:26:49,580
I called you.
1868
01:26:49,747 --> 01:26:52,166
- I switched phones with Sarah.
-From work?
1869
01:26:52,333 --> 01:26:54,085
It's a long story.
1870
01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:56,796
It doesn't matter. I just need to
tell you something. Okay?
1871
01:26:56,963 --> 01:26:58,297
Okay -
1872
01:26:58,965 --> 01:27:00,466
I'm gonna come clean with you.
1873
01:27:00,633 --> 01:27:02,593
Those drugs you gave me...
1874
01:27:02,760 --> 01:27:04,762
...they sent me on a spirit quest.
1875
01:27:04,929 --> 01:27:07,974
You know, like a spirit quest
in an Oliver Stone movie or Young Guns.
1876
01:27:08,141 --> 01:27:10,643
And when that happened
I kind of realized...
1877
01:27:10,810 --> 01:27:14,230
...that maybe I've been Iying to, maybe,
myself and you...
1878
01:27:14,397 --> 01:27:17,191
...about how I really feel about some stuff.
1879
01:27:17,358 --> 01:27:18,401
I'm just gonna show you this.
1880
01:27:18,568 --> 01:27:21,112
- Just watch this.
-Okay.
1881
01:27:21,279 --> 01:27:23,573
This baby is a bad fucking call.
I'm not ready for it!
1882
01:27:23,740 --> 01:27:26,325
We got to do this responsible thing
and I got to say...
1883
01:27:26,492 --> 01:27:28,369
...that we should not be having this baby!
1884
01:27:28,536 --> 01:27:30,204
Get rid of this fucking baby!
1885
01:27:30,371 --> 01:27:32,290
Put it in a bag and leave it somewhere!
1886
01:27:32,457 --> 01:27:34,792
Put it in a basket
and push it down a fucking river!
1887
01:27:34,959 --> 01:27:37,003
- Are you Iaughing?
-This is hilarious.
1888
01:27:37,170 --> 01:27:39,756
- Cunt!
-Did you just call our baby a cunt?
1889
01:27:39,922 --> 01:27:41,257
I forgot about that.
1890
01:27:41,424 --> 01:27:43,801
Honestly? Okay, I Can't watch anymore.
1891
01:27:43,968 --> 01:27:45,845
But honestly, I'm a little relieved.
1892
01:27:46,012 --> 01:27:47,388
- You are?
-Are you kidding me!
1893
01:27:47,555 --> 01:27:50,933
I feel like such a dumb asshole
compared to you sometimes.
1894
01:27:51,100 --> 01:27:53,770
It's all been a Iie. It's all been a front,
because I'm fucking freaking out.
1895
01:27:53,936 --> 01:27:56,522
It's all just been to compensate
for the fact that I don't know anything.
1896
01:27:56,689 --> 01:27:57,940
This is good. You need to let it out.
1897
01:27:58,107 --> 01:27:59,567
This is good?
1898
01:27:59,734 --> 01:28:01,569
Yes. You need to not bottle it up.
1899
01:28:01,736 --> 01:28:03,654
One of us has to be not freaking out.
1900
01:28:03,821 --> 01:28:06,032
- I'm actually okay.
-Really?
1901
01:28:06,199 --> 01:28:09,035
All of a sudden I was just thinking
about everything you've been saying...
1902
01:28:09,202 --> 01:28:12,580
...about how strong we are,
and how we can handle it.
1903
01:28:12,747 --> 01:28:14,248
And that made me feel better.
1904
01:28:14,415 --> 01:28:15,458
Really?
1905
01:28:15,625 --> 01:28:18,711
Yeah. I really feel like I can do this.
1906
01:28:19,545 --> 01:28:20,922
Look at me.
1907
01:28:21,088 --> 01:28:23,633
- I'm your rock.
-You're my rock?
1908
01:28:23,800 --> 01:28:24,801
I'm Dwayne.
1909
01:28:24,967 --> 01:28:26,803
I get to have sex
with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
1910
01:28:27,261 --> 01:28:29,055
I love you, Isaac.
1911
01:28:29,680 --> 01:28:31,390
I love you, dragon.
1912
01:28:31,557 --> 01:28:32,975
Betsy.
1913
01:28:34,185 --> 01:28:37,021
Did you say "Dragon Betsy"?
1914
01:28:37,188 --> 01:28:38,397
I'm gonna keep being honest.
1915
01:28:38,564 --> 01:28:41,692
I'm tripping my fucking balls off still,
and you look like a dragon right now.
1916
01:28:41,859 --> 01:28:42,985
- I do?
-Yeah.
1917
01:28:45,488 --> 01:28:46,531
Is that scary?
1918
01:28:46,697 --> 01:28:47,782
It's intense.
1919
01:28:48,991 --> 01:28:51,452
Let's just go. Can we just go?
Let's just go.
1920
01:28:55,873 --> 01:28:57,416
That's nice.
1921
01:29:03,589 --> 01:29:05,216
What is it?
1922
01:29:10,847 --> 01:29:13,224
Couldn't have been easy to tell me that.
1923
01:29:14,392 --> 01:29:17,520
It's not gonna be easy
to tell the world either.
1924
01:29:18,020 --> 01:29:19,897
Guess we gonna lose the park, huh?
1925
01:29:20,064 --> 01:29:22,525
Fuck that park. It got crackheads.
1926
01:29:23,901 --> 01:29:25,528
Say the grace, boy.
1927
01:29:25,695 --> 01:29:27,405
Yes, ma'am.
1928
01:29:28,948 --> 01:29:31,826
Heavenly Father, thank you
for this food we're about to receive.
1929
01:29:31,993 --> 01:29:34,161
Thank you for my momma.
1930
01:29:34,328 --> 01:29:37,874
Thank you for my friends
and their families.
1931
01:30:10,948 --> 01:30:13,159
- Hi.
-Really?
1932
01:30:14,285 --> 01:30:15,578
Are you gonna propose to me again?
1933
01:30:15,745 --> 01:30:16,996
- No.
-Are you sure?
1934
01:30:17,163 --> 01:30:18,748
I just wanted to talk to you.
1935
01:30:18,915 --> 01:30:20,416
And I have something to tell you...
1936
01:30:20,583 --> 01:30:23,377
...and I wanna tell it on Christmas.
If that's all right? So...
1937
01:30:23,544 --> 01:30:25,796
...it can't wait. Can you just
come out here for a sec and we'll talk...
1938
01:30:25,963 --> 01:30:27,632
...and then I'll go. I promise.
1939
01:30:31,802 --> 01:30:33,346
Okay. Fine.
1940
01:30:35,264 --> 01:30:36,265
What?
1941
01:30:36,641 --> 01:30:38,809
First of all, I'm sorry about last night.
1942
01:30:38,976 --> 01:30:41,354
- I know that was stupid.
-Yeah.
1943
01:30:44,732 --> 01:30:48,027
And it was totally crazy
that I wouldn't meet your parents.
1944
01:30:48,194 --> 01:30:50,446
That was just me being really...
1945
01:30:50,613 --> 01:30:52,573
Yeah. I agree with that.
1946
01:30:53,115 --> 01:30:55,660
But I guess I was...
1947
01:30:56,786 --> 01:30:58,162
...I don't know, scared...
1948
01:30:58,329 --> 01:31:01,666
...because Chris and Isaac have been
my family for the last 10 years...
1949
01:31:02,166 --> 01:31:04,377
...so I didn't wanna meet your family...
1950
01:31:04,543 --> 01:31:06,837
...because that would change everything.
1951
01:31:07,004 --> 01:31:09,048
But everything Changes, right?
We all grow up...
1952
01:31:10,174 --> 01:31:12,426
...and that's a good thing,
I wanna grow up. I do.
1953
01:31:14,595 --> 01:31:16,555
I wanna grow up with you.
1954
01:31:17,765 --> 01:31:19,266
And I do wanna have a family...
1955
01:31:20,351 --> 01:31:22,561
...other than two dudes.
1956
01:31:23,104 --> 01:31:27,316
But I want that family to...
1957
01:31:28,693 --> 01:31:30,653
I want it to be you.
1958
01:31:31,445 --> 01:31:35,950
Which is probably worse
than proposing...
1959
01:31:36,117 --> 01:31:39,328
...because now we're talking
about you bearing my children.
1960
01:31:39,495 --> 01:31:40,913
Yeah. It's a lot.
1961
01:31:41,539 --> 01:31:45,376
But just pretend I'm saying it right,
if you Could.
1962
01:31:46,877 --> 01:31:48,754
I'd rather be the guy, from now on...
1963
01:31:48,921 --> 01:31:51,632
...who says too much than not enough.
1964
01:31:51,799 --> 01:31:56,053
If we're being honest,
I should apologize to you also...
1965
01:31:56,220 --> 01:31:58,806
...for stalking you, a little bit.
1966
01:31:59,390 --> 01:32:02,435
I knew that you were gonna be
at that bar last night.
1967
01:32:03,102 --> 01:32:05,021
You pretended
like that was just coincidence.
1968
01:32:05,187 --> 01:32:06,814
I did. And also...
1969
01:32:06,981 --> 01:32:09,066
...if we're confessing things...
1970
01:32:10,026 --> 01:32:14,030
...I do ask Betsy about you.
1971
01:32:14,572 --> 01:32:16,198
Kind of all the time.
1972
01:32:16,365 --> 01:32:17,616
She doesn't let on.
1973
01:32:17,783 --> 01:32:19,452
I know. Because she's my friend.
1974
01:32:19,618 --> 01:32:21,203
I ask her about you every time I see her.
1975
01:32:21,370 --> 01:32:22,872
Oh, I know.
1976
01:32:23,414 --> 01:32:25,374
- Yeah.
-She tells me every time you ask.
1977
01:32:25,541 --> 01:32:26,792
She doesn't tell me that you ask her.
1978
01:32:26,959 --> 01:32:28,044
She's a girl. That's how it works.
1979
01:32:31,422 --> 01:32:32,882
Can I come in?
1980
01:32:33,215 --> 01:32:34,633
In here?
1981
01:32:35,593 --> 01:32:38,012
- This is my parents' house.
-I know.
1982
01:32:38,179 --> 01:32:41,807
I thought that you didn't do parents.
1983
01:32:41,974 --> 01:32:43,392
I'll do your parents.
1984
01:32:44,435 --> 01:32:46,020
Wow. Nice.
1985
01:32:46,187 --> 01:32:49,356
Don't do my dad doggy-style.
He's got very bad knees.
1986
01:32:50,274 --> 01:32:52,359
He's an old man now.
1987
01:32:55,071 --> 01:32:56,405
All right.
1988
01:32:56,989 --> 01:32:58,491
- Hey.
-Yo.
1989
01:32:58,657 --> 01:33:00,910
I kind of wanna kiss you...
1990
01:33:01,077 --> 01:33:03,954
...but maybe not so soon
after saying I would do your parents.
1991
01:33:21,347 --> 01:33:24,683
Come have sex
with my mother and my father.
1992
01:33:24,850 --> 01:33:26,393
I thought you were saying,
"Come have sex."
1993
01:33:26,560 --> 01:33:28,938
With my mother and also my father.
1994
01:33:51,502 --> 01:33:52,670
She won't sleep.
1995
01:33:52,837 --> 01:33:54,797
- Can we try?
-Are you sure?
1996
01:33:54,964 --> 01:33:56,423
Showtime. Let's do it.
1997
01:33:56,590 --> 01:33:58,217
Thank you.
1998
01:33:58,884 --> 01:34:00,010
Hey, sweetie.
1999
01:34:00,177 --> 01:34:01,178
This is the best.
2000
01:34:01,345 --> 01:34:03,180
Come here, little sweetie.
Come here.
2001
01:34:03,764 --> 01:34:05,182
Come here, sweetie.
2002
01:34:05,349 --> 01:34:07,393
Look who it is. Who are these guys?
2003
01:34:07,560 --> 01:34:09,311
Look at that.
2004
01:34:09,478 --> 01:34:11,480
Who are these guys here?
2005
01:34:11,647 --> 01:34:13,774
- Should we do it?
-Yeah, do it.
2006
01:34:47,850 --> 01:34:49,852
That's good. Wow.
2007
01:34:51,312 --> 01:34:53,522
The end.
2008
01:34:53,689 --> 01:34:55,524
How was that for a Christmas story?
2009
01:34:55,691 --> 01:34:57,359
That was nice!
2010
01:34:57,526 --> 01:34:58,736
That was some shit!
2011
01:34:58,903 --> 01:35:01,447
Shit happened!
Things went down!
2012
01:35:01,614 --> 01:35:03,032
Lessons were learned.
2013
01:35:03,199 --> 01:35:05,826
Friends are important,
but relationships evolve.
2014
01:35:05,993 --> 01:35:08,579
I'm so glad Ethan and Diana
ended up together.
2015
01:35:08,746 --> 01:35:10,206
I hope he get her pregnant.
2016
01:35:10,372 --> 01:35:12,249
I'd like to give a special shout-out
to my seed...
2017
01:35:12,416 --> 01:35:14,960
...for killing it again this Christmas.
2018
01:35:15,586 --> 01:35:17,004
Best I ever did it!
2019
01:35:17,171 --> 01:35:19,173
Shit, Pop. Thanks.
2020
01:35:19,673 --> 01:35:20,883
Thanks for noticing.
2021
01:35:21,050 --> 01:35:23,177
Right now, let the after-party begin!
2022
01:35:23,344 --> 01:35:24,511
DJ Kevy Kev!
2023
01:35:24,678 --> 01:35:26,388
Let's turn it up!
2024
01:35:27,473 --> 01:35:30,309
Turn it up, now! Holla!