1
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,722
What separates the casual Jane
Austen fan from the aficionado?

2
00:00:48,407 --> 00:00:53,361
Is it her admiration for the style
and manners of the Regency era?

3
00:00:54,007 --> 00:00:57,239
The number of times
she has read Austen's novels?

4
00:00:57,461 --> 00:01:00,920
Or her consuming love
for Mr. Darcy?

5
00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:08,942
<i>♪ L-O-V-E-D-A-R-C-Y</i>

6
00:01:10,429 --> 00:01:11,434
Nice cup.

7
00:01:11,579 --> 00:01:12,583
Thanks.

8
00:01:13,729 --> 00:01:16,501
<i>♪ And it begins like any other</i>

9
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,911
<i>♪ Since she was very young</i>

10
00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:20,722
Oh.

11
00:01:20,788 --> 00:01:22,480
Sexy.

12
00:01:22,631 --> 00:01:23,863
Okay.

13
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:25,091
I'll see you for lunch.

14
00:01:25,201 --> 00:01:26,389
Yeah, okay.

15
00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:34,185
<i>♪ You try to catch her eye</i>

16
00:01:35,865 --> 00:01:38,015
<i>♪ But she doesn't want to see</i>

17
00:01:41,008 --> 00:01:42,317
<i>Miss Bennet...</i>

18
00:01:43,617 --> 00:01:45,504
This is the best part.

19
00:01:45,726 --> 00:01:49,339
<i>♪ She's singing
my boy loves me</i>

20
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,145
Unbelievable.

21
00:01:53,706 --> 00:01:58,586
<i>♪ My boy loves me I know ♪</i>

22
00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:06,988
Hey, Jane.
Ex-boyfriend alert.

23
00:02:07,096 --> 00:02:09,400
Hey, Horseface.

24
00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:10,746
Jimmy, what are you doing here?

25
00:02:10,818 --> 00:02:12,478
Well, I heard you
broke up with Greg.

26
00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:15,924
So that means you're free
to go bowling tonight.

27
00:02:16,076 --> 00:02:17,580
Oops!
Jimmy! You know what?

28
00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:20,105
If "no" was
unclear last time...

29
00:02:21,485 --> 00:02:22,761
I don't wanna see you again.

30
00:02:24,824 --> 00:02:28,664
I picked you on purpose, Jane Hayes.
Thirty plus, clock ticking.

31
00:02:28,775 --> 00:02:30,815
I'm as good as it gets, baby.

32
00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:34,033
<i>A true aficionado
of Austen does so much more</i>

33
00:02:34,107 --> 00:02:36,989
<i>than merely read her novels and
admire her world from afar.</i>

34
00:02:37,485 --> 00:02:38,672
Excuse me.

35
00:02:39,094 --> 00:02:41,365
She finds her way here

36
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:47,386
to the world's only immersive
Austen experience.

37
00:02:48,993 --> 00:02:50,183
Is that a Chihuahua?

38
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,181
It's a lamb. Shut up.
Just trying to hear it.

39
00:02:52,293 --> 00:02:53,373
This looks really cheap.

40
00:02:53,444 --> 00:02:55,364
I've toured the grounds
and it's not cheap.

41
00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:58,708
This is high class.
This is big time.

42
00:02:58,815 --> 00:03:01,314
Jane, are you really
gonna blow your entire

43
00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:03,847
life savings on
an "Austen experience"?

44
00:03:04,263 --> 00:03:05,693
Now, hold on just a second,

45
00:03:05,798 --> 00:03:06,879
here at Sensuous Travel,

46
00:03:06,988 --> 00:03:09,029
we are not just another
run-of-the-mill vacation place.

47
00:03:09,137 --> 00:03:12,518
This is what we call
an "LC." A Life-Changer.

48
00:03:12,704 --> 00:03:16,698
You get to play the heroine of
your very own Jane Austen story.

49
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,503
Would you like to
see some of the staff?

50
00:03:18,727 --> 00:03:20,267
Yeah.
No.

51
00:03:20,685 --> 00:03:23,184
Now this is Barnaby.
He's a vegan.

52
00:03:23,256 --> 00:03:25,174
He enjoys nightly
dips in the pond,

53
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,209
and he has a pony
named Sparkles Pancake.

54
00:03:27,285 --> 00:03:28,714
That is horrendous.

55
00:03:28,856 --> 00:03:31,280
I also heard that people in those
days didn't wear underwear.

56
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:32,355
That's a lie.

57
00:03:32,426 --> 00:03:33,385
It's not a lie.

58
00:03:33,921 --> 00:03:37,806
Look, every stay at Austenland
ends with a real live ball,

59
00:03:37,987 --> 00:03:41,143
as in ballroom,
as in happily ever after.

60
00:03:41,517 --> 00:03:42,523
Do you understand
what I'm saying?

61
00:03:42,668 --> 00:03:43,630
Totally.

62
00:03:43,742 --> 00:03:48,118
Jane. So you go on some fancy vacation,
then what do you come home to?

63
00:03:48,232 --> 00:03:50,273
Nothing except for
an empty bank account.

64
00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:53,949
Why don't you save up
for a real life-changer?

65
00:03:55,023 --> 00:03:56,789
Like what?
Well, like...

66
00:03:56,941 --> 00:03:59,363
That's fine. Maybe come back
another time without your friend.

67
00:03:59,474 --> 00:04:00,510
We'll get you squared away.

68
00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:02,660
I think I can figure out some
kind of layaway program for you.

69
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:04,927
Thank you so much.

70
00:04:05,076 --> 00:04:08,185
You guys take care. Thanks for being you.
Appreciate you.

71
00:04:14,936 --> 00:04:19,465
Listen, this is my one chance to
really live in Austen's world. Okay?

72
00:04:19,617 --> 00:04:21,003
I'm her biggest fan.

73
00:04:21,189 --> 00:04:22,194
Come on.

74
00:04:22,340 --> 00:04:23,343
No. No.

75
00:04:23,607 --> 00:04:25,144
You used to be a fan.

76
00:04:25,372 --> 00:04:26,953
You are an addict.

77
00:04:27,327 --> 00:04:29,446
You don't have to go in there because
I'm packing. It's a mess in there.

78
00:04:29,552 --> 00:04:30,830
You don't wanna go in there.

79
00:04:30,972 --> 00:04:34,356
Oh, Janey.
It's gotten so much worse.

80
00:04:37,649 --> 00:04:38,685
I love you.

81
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,414
It's a collector's item
and that's why I have it.

82
00:04:40,487 --> 00:04:41,568
<i>I have 10,000 a year.</i>

83
00:04:42,445 --> 00:04:43,798
I've changed my mind.

84
00:04:43,941 --> 00:04:46,592
I totally support you
going to this place,

85
00:04:46,781 --> 00:04:48,930
because I'm sure
that the fantasy

86
00:04:49,082 --> 00:04:51,200
will not be as
fulfilling as you imagine.

87
00:04:51,345 --> 00:04:52,700
I don't think you
know where I'm going.

88
00:04:52,765 --> 00:04:55,615
We could make a wager on it.
Fine.

89
00:04:55,719 --> 00:04:59,757
If I win,
you de-Austen your room.

90
00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:03,971
Okay.
Fine.

91
00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:08,117
And if you really must go, I
made you a little farewell gift.

92
00:05:08,227 --> 00:05:09,733
You did?

93
00:05:10,682 --> 00:05:11,960
Aw.

94
00:05:14,136 --> 00:05:15,250
Wow.

95
00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:18,596
Which historical era
is this supposed to be from?

96
00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:20,856
Hey, I spent three
days working on it.

97
00:05:20,966 --> 00:05:22,700
Come here, let's hug it out.

98
00:05:23,959 --> 00:05:25,266
Thank you.
Okay.

99
00:05:25,378 --> 00:05:29,720
When you get back, just clear
this crap out because it's weird.

100
00:05:29,866 --> 00:05:31,251
It's a hobby.
It's really weird.

101
00:05:31,516 --> 00:05:34,669
<i>♪ Ooh, baby, do you know
what that's worth?</i>

102
00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:38,575
<i>♪ Ooh, heaven is
a place on earth</i>

103
00:05:38,651 --> 00:05:42,297
<i>♪ They say in heaven
love comes first</i>

104
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:46,026
<i>♪ We'll make heaven
a place on earth</i>

105
00:05:46,364 --> 00:05:50,358
<i>♪ Ooh, heaven is
a place on earth</i>

106
00:06:06,506 --> 00:06:09,584
<i>♪ When the night falls down ♪</i>

107
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:10,963
Oh!

108
00:06:11,034 --> 00:06:12,769
Do you need a hand?

109
00:06:14,372 --> 00:06:16,489
Yay, an American.

110
00:06:16,788 --> 00:06:19,823
I can't understand what the natives say.

111
00:06:20,434 --> 00:06:22,627
I think this is where we're
supposed to wait, right?

112
00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:23,734
You're going to
the Darcy place, too?

113
00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:24,847
Yes.

114
00:06:24,961 --> 00:06:26,467
I memorized
the first three chapters

115
00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:27,888
<i>of Pride and Prejudice
when I was 13.</i>

116
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:30,218
What's that?

117
00:06:30,371 --> 00:06:31,800
Oh. Um...

118
00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:35,136
So why are you
going to this place?

119
00:06:35,358 --> 00:06:38,775
Because I'm gonna look great
in those wench gowns.

120
00:06:39,655 --> 00:06:43,498
Ooh. Gosh, I hope they
give me a cape, too.

121
00:06:43,606 --> 00:06:45,495
Were we not supposed
to come in costume?

122
00:06:45,602 --> 00:06:47,719
Thank goodness
you're coming and not her.

123
00:06:48,287 --> 00:06:50,406
I'm Jane, by the way.

124
00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:54,006
Oh, goody.
Introductions. Look.

125
00:06:55,653 --> 00:06:56,690
Hi.

126
00:06:57,112 --> 00:07:00,757
I'm Miss Elizabeth Charming.

127
00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:04,098
It's a pretty name, isn't it?
I requested it.

128
00:07:04,211 --> 00:07:07,015
Yes, it's very beautiful.
I can't wait to pick a name.

129
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:10,011
How about Miss Pepperpot?

130
00:07:10,118 --> 00:07:12,311
Or Miss Wiggly Wiggins?

131
00:07:12,459 --> 00:07:14,576
Those are nice.

132
00:07:17,447 --> 00:07:20,328
I knew this place
would be magical.

133
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:23,288
They even got us
a car from the 1800s.

134
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:29,233
Oh, thank you so much.
I'm Miss Charming.

135
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,536
This way.

136
00:07:31,642 --> 00:07:33,259
Bloody Americans!

137
00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:34,835
Mind the gap.

138
00:07:36,783 --> 00:07:39,937
Sorry. I was told I was
supposed to wear a costume.

139
00:07:40,006 --> 00:07:41,589
So was I.

140
00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:52,061
God save the Queen!

141
00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:58,885
<i>Hey, do you think this
is the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car?</i>

142
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,647
It's smaller than I expected.

143
00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:20,214
Welcome to the Regency era.

144
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,913
This is just a stop before
we go to the big house.

145
00:08:22,019 --> 00:08:23,372
I am Mrs. Wattlesbrook.
Okay.

146
00:08:23,477 --> 00:08:27,046
Miss Charming, I hope your
travel was endurable.

147
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,775
Oh, yes!

148
00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:32,494
Jane Hayes.
Yes.

149
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:35,341
And I've been thinking
about my pseudonym,

150
00:08:35,522 --> 00:08:38,219
and I was thinking
Miss Joyful, maybe?

151
00:08:38,325 --> 00:08:41,555
Oh, yes. You've already
been assigned a name.

152
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:42,933
Miss Erstwhile.

153
00:08:43,351 --> 00:08:44,508
Miss Erstwhile?

154
00:08:44,616 --> 00:08:46,765
Martin.
Take their luggage in.

155
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,227
And get the carriage ready
to take us up to the manor.

156
00:08:52,328 --> 00:08:54,368
Martin.
Ma'am.

157
00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:57,323
Good luck.
Thanks.

158
00:08:57,431 --> 00:09:00,510
Complete immersion
in the Regency era

159
00:09:00,576 --> 00:09:03,655
is the only way to truly
appreciate Austen's England.

160
00:09:03,762 --> 00:09:04,950
Wouldn't you say so,
Miss Charming?

161
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:07,146
Righto!

162
00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:09,371
Just to avoid any confusion,

163
00:09:09,439 --> 00:09:13,433
I'd like you to know that we do
offer several distinct experiences.

164
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,811
You have paid for
the Basic Copper package,

165
00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:19,723
while the other
ladies in the party

166
00:09:19,837 --> 00:09:22,216
are part of
the Platinum Elite package.

167
00:09:22,484 --> 00:09:23,913
Oh. Okay.

168
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,207
I'm sure you'll understand there will
be some exclusions to your trip.

169
00:09:26,322 --> 00:09:29,626
I mean, I'm just so
excited to be here,

170
00:09:29,697 --> 00:09:31,772
and I've dreamed
about this for so long.

171
00:09:31,845 --> 00:09:33,733
All of my guests
will experience

172
00:09:33,803 --> 00:09:35,843
romance with one of our actors.

173
00:09:35,913 --> 00:09:38,870
But I must emphasize
there is to be no touching

174
00:09:39,441 --> 00:09:42,902
other than the necessary social graces.
Not a chance.

175
00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:44,898
I also expect
all my guests to maintain

176
00:09:45,006 --> 00:09:46,850
appropriate manners
and conversation

177
00:09:46,963 --> 00:09:49,232
and to eschew
all things modern.

178
00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:50,963
Any flagrant
disobedience will result

179
00:09:51,031 --> 00:09:52,535
in the early
termination of your stay.

180
00:09:53,101 --> 00:09:54,333
You don't have
to worry about me.

181
00:09:54,405 --> 00:09:56,632
I know Austen's
books intimately.

182
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:05,230
A big fire for
a hot summer's day.

183
00:10:11,556 --> 00:10:14,404
We need to push up
the sisters. There we go.

184
00:10:15,852 --> 00:10:17,619
That's as far as I can go.

185
00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:19,846
It's looking good.

186
00:10:23,948 --> 00:10:26,568
<i>♪ Has it been a day or a week</i>

187
00:10:26,635 --> 00:10:28,979
<i>♪ As my eyes begin to close</i>

188
00:10:29,242 --> 00:10:32,244
So we have this absolutely
delightful chiffon piece.

189
00:10:32,312 --> 00:10:34,233
And I don't know
how you feel about lavender.

190
00:10:34,306 --> 00:10:35,541
I call it lilac.

191
00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:36,877
"Lilac."

192
00:10:36,954 --> 00:10:39,530
This I do think is very
magnificent and elegant.

193
00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:40,988
Salmon!

194
00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:42,446
Salmon. Absolutely.

195
00:10:43,399 --> 00:10:47,209
<i>♪ These dreams under my pillow</i>

196
00:10:47,506 --> 00:10:49,197
Kinda washes you out.

197
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,385
<i>♪ Of these white nights ♪</i>

198
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:55,761
Look how skinny I look
with my hand behind my back.

199
00:10:58,556 --> 00:10:59,788
Let's go meet the men.

200
00:10:59,898 --> 00:11:01,133
Okay.

201
00:11:12,981 --> 00:11:15,208
I'm so sorry,
my dear, but I'm afraid

202
00:11:15,322 --> 00:11:17,516
this carriage only
takes two passengers.

203
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:19,927
Okay.

204
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:21,121
Sorry.

205
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:24,728
Hey, do you think we'll be
robbed by some highwaymen?

206
00:12:32,438 --> 00:12:34,481
Martin,
hurry up with those bags.

207
00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:36,590
My God, look at those.

208
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:40,614
Hallelujah. Oh!

209
00:12:44,409 --> 00:12:47,641
Do you think those
are their real faces?

210
00:12:49,204 --> 00:12:53,243
And for you, Miss Charming, we have
our finest Platinum level room.

211
00:12:57,146 --> 00:12:58,260
Oh!

212
00:13:01,713 --> 00:13:03,829
How old-fashioned.

213
00:13:04,706 --> 00:13:07,051
Miss Erstwhile.
If you follow me.

214
00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:13,730
Hey! It's bloody brilliant!

215
00:13:13,952 --> 00:13:16,025
Where are you? We can't dilly-dally.

216
00:13:18,825 --> 00:13:22,206
And you, of course, have one of
our loveliest Copper level rooms.

217
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:28,306
We meet for dinner at 8:00.

218
00:13:28,377 --> 00:13:30,527
I expect you can find your
own way to the drawing room.

219
00:13:30,757 --> 00:13:33,102
I wouldn't miss
it for the world.

220
00:14:00,184 --> 00:14:02,727
With me? Yes.

221
00:14:08,701 --> 00:14:09,814
Jane!

222
00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:14,848
Jane? Come here.
All the statues look at you!

223
00:14:22,974 --> 00:14:26,706
Look. It's one of
those Mr. Darcy guys.

224
00:14:27,386 --> 00:14:30,769
May I present Miss
Elizabeth Charming.

225
00:14:30,915 --> 00:14:33,142
Heiress to the vast
Charming fortune.

226
00:14:33,295 --> 00:14:36,525
Top of the evening to you.

227
00:14:37,553 --> 00:14:39,441
And Miss Jane Erstwhile.

228
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:42,359
An orphan of no fortune,
who we've taken in

229
00:14:42,426 --> 00:14:44,238
out of the goodness
of our hearts.

230
00:14:45,149 --> 00:14:48,795
Colonel Andrews, the second
son of the Earl of Denton.

231
00:14:49,831 --> 00:14:52,712
I have never before
beheld such beauty...

232
00:14:54,933 --> 00:14:56,362
And class.

233
00:14:57,466 --> 00:15:00,239
What a very pleasant
pleasure it is indeed.

234
00:15:01,303 --> 00:15:04,030
And my dear nephew,
Henry Nobley.

235
00:15:05,752 --> 00:15:08,295
Goody.
There's one for each of us.

236
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:14,889
And, of course, our honored
guest, Lady Amelia Heartwright.

237
00:15:16,687 --> 00:15:18,804
What the H?

238
00:15:20,448 --> 00:15:25,368
I've been so lonely here without
other young women to entertain me.

239
00:15:25,589 --> 00:15:28,360
All day, stuck with these men.

240
00:15:29,656 --> 00:15:31,850
And that is my husband.

241
00:15:32,992 --> 00:15:34,990
Do sit down.

242
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,903
I do hope it will not
rain on us tomorrow.

243
00:15:41,011 --> 00:15:45,159
It would be so lovely to take
a turn around the gardens.

244
00:15:47,342 --> 00:15:50,191
I sure would like you

245
00:15:50,374 --> 00:15:54,487
to turn me upside
down in the garden.

246
00:15:54,785 --> 00:15:55,942
Pardon me?

247
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:59,206
I think Miss Charming just
means she loves the outdoors.

248
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:00,317
Right.

249
00:16:00,388 --> 00:16:01,424
Bless.

250
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,991
Do you see something in my eye?

251
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:08,524
I'm afraid I can't
see in this low light.

252
00:16:10,439 --> 00:16:13,823
Oh, Mr. Nobley.

253
00:16:14,045 --> 00:16:16,547
You really are quite a bloke.

254
00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:20,611
It would appear to be my duty
to gaze into your eyes.

255
00:16:20,798 --> 00:16:22,795
I'm a military man,
I'd never shirk my duty.

256
00:16:23,063 --> 00:16:25,103
Allow me, Miss Charming.

257
00:16:27,282 --> 00:16:30,667
Yes. Yes, there is
something there. Fire.

258
00:16:31,082 --> 00:16:35,000
I say, Miss Charming, you certainly
do live up to your name.

259
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:38,144
Tally-ho!

260
00:16:39,253 --> 00:16:41,796
I do hope
you all enjoy the food.

261
00:16:48,462 --> 00:16:49,968
Have you lost
your appetite, Mr. Nobley?

262
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,617
Somewhat.

263
00:16:52,029 --> 00:16:53,797
Something on your mind?

264
00:16:53,949 --> 00:16:56,217
Absolutely nothing's
on my mind, thank you.

265
00:16:56,326 --> 00:16:59,131
Prudence, a little bit more of the
peacock paté, when you're ready.

266
00:17:05,036 --> 00:17:06,464
I can't believe
I'm really here.

267
00:17:08,451 --> 00:17:09,804
Jane.
Yeah?

268
00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:12,794
Why don't you try out
some of that fancy talk?

269
00:17:14,128 --> 00:17:17,435
Mr. Nobley, I hear there is
a ball on our last night.

270
00:17:17,505 --> 00:17:18,585
Do you enjoy dancing?

271
00:17:18,695 --> 00:17:19,731
Not particularly.

272
00:17:20,115 --> 00:17:22,308
Scandalous.

273
00:17:22,453 --> 00:17:26,447
I am sure you have escorted many a
fine lady on to the dance floor.

274
00:17:26,943 --> 00:17:29,289
I would say
that manners maketh man.

275
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:32,013
I look forward to having the
pleasure of standing opposite you.

276
00:17:32,123 --> 00:17:35,505
But dancing is the true hallmark...
You do?

277
00:17:35,614 --> 00:17:37,610
<i>...of a gentilhomme d'honneur.</i>

278
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,689
Pass the
sheep's eyeballs, will you?

279
00:17:39,911 --> 00:17:43,174
Traditionally, dancing
is a match-making custom.

280
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:44,252
Oh, yes.

281
00:17:44,323 --> 00:17:46,627
However, it fails
unless both partners

282
00:17:46,739 --> 00:17:48,966
are equally fond of each other.

283
00:17:49,158 --> 00:17:51,624
You could say the same
about any social intercourse.

284
00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:53,037
Intercourse?

285
00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:56,527
Such as talking to someone
or having dinner with them.

286
00:17:56,677 --> 00:18:00,867
Society demands that we engage in a social
intercourse in order to seem courteous.

287
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:06,120
Yet, in most cases, such
actions are ultimately vulgar.

288
00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:08,233
I really adore conversating.

289
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:11,835
Do you really believe,
Mr. Nobley,

290
00:18:11,909 --> 00:18:14,713
that you can know the worth
of a person at a glance?

291
00:18:14,979 --> 00:18:16,791
Can you tell me that
within the first few moments

292
00:18:16,858 --> 00:18:19,204
of meeting each
person in this room,

293
00:18:19,429 --> 00:18:22,965
you didn't form firm opinions
of their character?

294
00:18:24,492 --> 00:18:28,303
Well, it would be a shame if my first
impression of you proved correct.

295
00:18:28,637 --> 00:18:32,402
Well, Miss Erstwhile, I for one
am so pleased you are here.

296
00:18:32,588 --> 00:18:37,009
Another woman who understands,
as I do, the rocky road of love.

297
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:41,762
Mrs. Wattlesbrook told me
of your tragic story.

298
00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:43,913
What?

299
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:46,292
I try to learn a great
deal about my clients

300
00:18:46,401 --> 00:18:48,627
so that I can better
prepare for their stay.

301
00:18:49,355 --> 00:18:54,234
You have been unlucky
in love, shall we say?

302
00:18:55,109 --> 00:18:56,921
We most definitely
should say.

303
00:18:57,412 --> 00:19:01,789
At your age,
with no husband, no kinder...

304
00:19:03,705 --> 00:19:04,665
I'm sorry.

305
00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:07,699
The clock is ticking. Tick-took,
tick-took. Oh, bugger.

306
00:19:08,386 --> 00:19:09,815
How unfortunate.

307
00:19:11,953 --> 00:19:13,383
Excuse me.

308
00:19:13,564 --> 00:19:14,993
Good duck.

309
00:19:17,363 --> 00:19:21,629
Jane. Jane! Jane.
Oh, I'm so sorry.

310
00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:25,230
You know, I know how it feels to
be treated badly by stupid men.

311
00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:26,729
I really do.

312
00:19:26,839 --> 00:19:28,652
Jane, come on.
Give me a hug.

313
00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:32,644
Come on. At least it's not
gonna happen at this place.

314
00:19:32,979 --> 00:19:35,128
Besides, you'll feel
totally different tomorrow.

315
00:19:35,856 --> 00:19:38,508
Think about all the people in
the world that hang themselves.

316
00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:42,077
And then the next day,
they feel different,

317
00:19:42,187 --> 00:19:44,653
but there's nothing
they can do about it.

318
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:47,027
Don't hang yourself, Jane.
Mmm-hmm.

319
00:19:47,481 --> 00:19:51,291
Anyway, if you need anything,
just call me. I'm right down the hall.

320
00:19:51,548 --> 00:19:54,734
Well, actually,
I'm not right down the hall

321
00:19:55,422 --> 00:19:59,112
because you're in the servants' wing.
You're in the creepy tower.

322
00:20:00,258 --> 00:20:03,564
God, sometimes I think
about you here at night.

323
00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:06,444
Must be really scary.

324
00:20:07,201 --> 00:20:08,894
It's okay.
Anyway.

325
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:12,195
And, Jane,
the maid told me that...

326
00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:15,686
FYI, she said don't
use the chamber pots.

327
00:20:16,372 --> 00:20:19,602
Apparently the toilets
really do flush here,

328
00:20:20,208 --> 00:20:23,853
and they don't know what to do
if it's just piled high.

329
00:20:25,579 --> 00:20:26,659
Right.

330
00:20:32,294 --> 00:20:34,212
Of course,
he made all his money

331
00:20:34,327 --> 00:20:36,247
selling quicklime
on the continent.

332
00:20:36,323 --> 00:20:39,967
You can never have enough whitewash,
as my grandfather used to say.

333
00:20:40,811 --> 00:20:43,354
Then he contracted
dysentery and died.

334
00:20:43,687 --> 00:20:45,227
Tap-tap.

335
00:20:46,336 --> 00:20:49,107
Good morrow, sir.
'Tis I.

336
00:20:49,826 --> 00:20:51,520
Shall we promenade?

337
00:20:54,893 --> 00:20:58,384
Oh. Oh, I say.
Miss Erstwhile, do join us.

338
00:20:58,729 --> 00:21:00,267
Yes, make haste.

339
00:21:01,070 --> 00:21:03,841
I think I'll go
find some shade.

340
00:21:04,406 --> 00:21:07,135
Really? How peculiar.

341
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:08,934
She's been too much in the sun.
Come, sir.

342
00:21:12,924 --> 00:21:14,736
<i>Your hunting excursion is commencing</i>

343
00:21:14,805 --> 00:21:16,540
<i>on the upper
paddock at the stable</i>

344
00:21:16,685 --> 00:21:19,085
<i>where you will be assigned
an appropriate mount.</i>

345
00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:22,440
Sorry.

346
00:21:22,899 --> 00:21:25,783
Sorry.
I'm not spying on you.

347
00:21:25,853 --> 00:21:28,582
I'm afraid you caught me
at an unladylike moment.

348
00:21:28,807 --> 00:21:31,842
Mrs. Wattlesbrook will probably
rap my knuckles or something.

349
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,684
Tell me about it.

350
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:37,795
So you hail from
the former colonies?

351
00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:43,741
I'm sorry, that's pretty bad. I'm not
really here to do the "ye olde" stuff.

352
00:21:45,497 --> 00:21:48,913
I'm probably not supposed to be
talking to the servants anyway.

353
00:21:49,373 --> 00:21:53,869
I thought I'd come here and be a total
pro at this, but I don't know...

354
00:21:54,015 --> 00:21:56,056
Yeah. Maybe you need
a coach or something.

355
00:21:57,045 --> 00:22:00,080
Yeah. I'm definitely not
supposed to talk to you.

356
00:22:01,305 --> 00:22:02,768
And yet,

357
00:22:04,260 --> 00:22:05,797
here you are.

358
00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:09,334
That's... I have to...

359
00:22:09,438 --> 00:22:13,090
Where are you?
Miss Erstwhile, there you are.

360
00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:14,814
Yes, hello. I... I was
just saying to Nobley here

361
00:22:15,231 --> 00:22:17,273
our divine Miss Erstwhile
seems to have escaped us.

362
00:22:17,381 --> 00:22:18,690
And let us not see if
we cannot find her out...

363
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,488
I was hot so I stopped in here,
you know, and then I sat...

364
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:26,167
I say, Miss Erstwhile,
you are tongue-tied today.

365
00:22:26,243 --> 00:22:28,819
What sordid secrets is your
mouth trying to hide from us?

366
00:22:29,006 --> 00:22:30,511
No, no secrets. No.
Do tell me at once.

367
00:22:30,694 --> 00:22:31,697
I simply must know.
Andrews!

368
00:22:34,301 --> 00:22:35,457
Can't you see
that she's unwell?

369
00:22:35,603 --> 00:22:36,761
No, I'm fine.
Thank you...

370
00:22:36,909 --> 00:22:38,983
Unwell? Perhaps you have a
touch of the vapors? Or mange?

371
00:22:39,096 --> 00:22:40,678
Either way,
bell jar on the tummy.

372
00:22:40,784 --> 00:22:42,367
Sucks out all
the vicious vapors.

373
00:22:42,472 --> 00:22:44,359
And leeches on the ankles...
Andrews, shut up.

374
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:45,658
What?

375
00:22:47,729 --> 00:22:51,374
Hi. Ladies and gents,
please take notice!

376
00:22:51,603 --> 00:22:53,340
I've just got the schedule,

377
00:22:53,444 --> 00:22:56,251
and look, it says we get
to go hunting on horseback.

378
00:22:56,554 --> 00:23:00,592
Can you believe it?
Real horses and real guns!

379
00:23:01,350 --> 00:23:02,658
Release the hounds!

380
00:23:02,731 --> 00:23:05,425
Tally-ho.
A-hunting we will go.

381
00:23:05,722 --> 00:23:08,341
The British are coming.
The British are coming!

382
00:23:08,562 --> 00:23:10,220
Shall we go?
Shall we?

383
00:23:10,366 --> 00:23:14,283
Hey, stable boy.
You're way too slow! Come on!

384
00:23:19,881 --> 00:23:22,182
I've never shot
a hunting rifle before.

385
00:23:22,604 --> 00:23:25,408
Now, the whole thing with the
gun, darling, is that you have to cock it.

386
00:23:25,481 --> 00:23:27,555
Just hold the barrel. There.

387
00:23:27,897 --> 00:23:30,594
And then gently
pull the trigger.

388
00:23:31,813 --> 00:23:33,319
Have you ever
fired a loaded weapon before?

389
00:23:33,423 --> 00:23:36,425
Actually, I think you might
be quite impressed by my...

390
00:23:36,570 --> 00:23:37,650
Big cock.
...skills.

391
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,457
I will be.
Ow!

392
00:23:39,907 --> 00:23:41,370
Just a little closer there.

393
00:23:41,481 --> 00:23:42,910
Yeah,
I think I get the basics.

394
00:23:45,701 --> 00:23:46,814
Ready, ladies?

395
00:23:48,041 --> 00:23:51,807
Face down range.
Load. And make ready.

396
00:23:52,224 --> 00:23:53,228
And, pull!

397
00:23:57,134 --> 00:23:59,284
Fly in my eye.

398
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:12,906
My... Miss Erstwhile. What a
talented little nut you are.

399
00:24:13,056 --> 00:24:14,017
Yeah.

400
00:24:14,131 --> 00:24:16,324
I guess I get the basics of it.

401
00:24:16,586 --> 00:24:19,205
I didn't think we were really
supposed to kill them.

402
00:24:19,311 --> 00:24:21,078
What are we supposed
to eat for dinner?

403
00:24:22,034 --> 00:24:24,763
Anyone for pheasant? Me.

404
00:24:28,671 --> 00:24:31,137
Of course, all these
horses are thoroughbreds.

405
00:24:31,742 --> 00:24:36,041
They come from the local stud.
Well, I'm too busy, you see.

406
00:24:36,729 --> 00:24:38,956
There's something
wrong with the horse.

407
00:24:39,261 --> 00:24:41,608
Crap Copper package.

408
00:24:43,789 --> 00:24:46,942
Little bit tight. Have
to give you a rub down tonight.

409
00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:48,705
Excuse me?

410
00:24:48,815 --> 00:24:50,091
The horse.

411
00:24:50,196 --> 00:24:51,471
Right, sorry.

412
00:24:54,685 --> 00:24:56,267
There we go.
Oh!

413
00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:58,293
Thank you.

414
00:24:59,711 --> 00:25:01,251
I'll be back in
a crack with a new horse.

415
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:02,899
Okay.

416
00:25:08,956 --> 00:25:11,805
<i>♪ Somewhere there's
a book of me</i>

417
00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:15,682
<i>♪ Waiting for someone to read it</i>

418
00:25:17,245 --> 00:25:19,013
<i>♪ And I really believe it</i>

419
00:25:20,507 --> 00:25:22,809
<i>♪ Just wish that
I could see it</i>

420
00:25:24,765 --> 00:25:27,951
<i>♪ And I keep losing track
of where I'm meant to be</i>

421
00:25:29,675 --> 00:25:32,710
<i>♪ If you know it you would be there</i>

422
00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:35,977
<i>♪ 'Cause I know
that you're a good man</i>

423
00:25:37,003 --> 00:25:39,196
<i>♪ But you like
to keep that secret ♪</i>

424
00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:41,690
Oh. Hi.

425
00:25:43,641 --> 00:25:44,994
Did that stable
boy abandon you?

426
00:25:45,099 --> 00:25:46,452
No, he's coming right back.

427
00:25:49,242 --> 00:25:52,396
Well, I wasn't raised to leave
a woman alone in the woods.

428
00:25:52,657 --> 00:25:54,850
I'm really... I'm fine.

429
00:25:55,496 --> 00:25:57,231
Well, there's...

430
00:25:57,337 --> 00:25:58,451
All right, come on.
Get up.

431
00:25:58,566 --> 00:25:59,646
Both of us on the one horse?

432
00:25:59,718 --> 00:26:02,335
I don't know if that's gonna
really work for me...

433
00:26:02,402 --> 00:26:04,620
Right, are you ready?
One, two, three.

434
00:26:04,645 --> 00:26:05,199
No, no.

435
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,589
Okay.

436
00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:11,850
We're not gonna be able to outrun the
storm unless you straddle the horse.

437
00:26:11,955 --> 00:26:14,837
Straddle... Not possible
in this rig. Sorry.

438
00:26:16,904 --> 00:26:18,215
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

439
00:26:20,319 --> 00:26:24,009
Get forward. Forward. That's it, more.
Forward? Okay. Well...

440
00:26:25,038 --> 00:26:26,119
Take the reins.

441
00:26:28,529 --> 00:26:34,445
Now, anyone who can shoot a gun
like that can ride a horse.

442
00:26:34,632 --> 00:26:35,819
Come on.

443
00:26:35,973 --> 00:26:37,436
Do you have me?

444
00:26:37,584 --> 00:26:40,358
I've got you fine.
Thank you.

445
00:26:51,857 --> 00:26:52,861
Jane.

446
00:26:57,766 --> 00:26:58,725
Come here.

447
00:26:58,840 --> 00:26:59,844
I know,
but it's a little hard...

448
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:02,375
No, your leg, your leg. No.
Yeah, okay.

449
00:27:03,291 --> 00:27:04,371
Thank you.

450
00:27:04,479 --> 00:27:05,637
Jane.

451
00:27:05,898 --> 00:27:08,671
What the hell do you think you were
doing leaving her alone like that?

452
00:27:09,391 --> 00:27:10,548
I'm sorry, I was coming.

453
00:27:10,619 --> 00:27:13,729
No, I was fine,
actually, Mr. Nobley.

454
00:27:14,226 --> 00:27:18,066
There you are, Mr. Nobley. I was about
to arouse a search party.

455
00:27:19,058 --> 00:27:22,791
Miss Erstwhile. What ghastly
thing happened to you?

456
00:27:23,394 --> 00:27:27,542
I think I'm just
gonna go powder my nose.

457
00:27:32,794 --> 00:27:34,869
<i>Everyone, please
assemble in the drawing room</i>

458
00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:36,526
<i>for this evening's whist drive.</i>

459
00:27:37,054 --> 00:27:41,474
<i>Partners will be assigned according
to ability and package status.</i>

460
00:27:43,422 --> 00:27:45,648
I do believe
I start this one, do I not?

461
00:27:45,725 --> 00:27:46,838
I'm just
so happy. I...

462
00:27:46,914 --> 00:27:48,800
See if you can beat that.

463
00:27:48,986 --> 00:27:50,874
Well,
there's a card.

464
00:27:53,167 --> 00:27:56,322
A proper lady does not doodle the
evening away, Miss Erstwhile.

465
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:01,916
You're looking well,
Mr. Nobley.

466
00:28:02,069 --> 00:28:03,726
The rain refreshed
your spirits, did it?

467
00:28:05,407 --> 00:28:06,683
Hardly.

468
00:28:09,282 --> 00:28:11,552
I say, who needs
the outdoors when

469
00:28:11,622 --> 00:28:14,394
you ladies are such
a breath of fresh air?

470
00:28:15,842 --> 00:28:18,921
Colonel, you really
are a saucy monkey.

471
00:28:19,832 --> 00:28:24,208
Miss Erstwhile, what's that
earthy smell about you?

472
00:28:24,322 --> 00:28:25,751
Is it perfume?

473
00:28:25,855 --> 00:28:27,743
I'm not wearing any perfume.

474
00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:31,155
Must be your essence.

475
00:28:31,496 --> 00:28:34,726
Colonel. Tremendous play.
I didn't see that one.

476
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:35,986
No, no one ever does.

477
00:28:36,061 --> 00:28:37,828
It's my sneaky maneuver
I picked up in the Punjab.

478
00:28:37,980 --> 00:28:40,632
Oh! Exotic!

479
00:28:41,702 --> 00:28:46,461
My, Miss Charming, what
beauteous skin you possess.

480
00:28:47,879 --> 00:28:50,150
Reawy?

481
00:28:51,446 --> 00:28:54,481
Well, that's because late at
night when I'm all alone,

482
00:28:54,937 --> 00:28:56,935
I put my face in the fire.

483
00:28:58,775 --> 00:29:00,160
Really?

484
00:29:00,923 --> 00:29:03,302
It's like a porcelain plate.

485
00:29:03,685 --> 00:29:06,414
It's like being in a kiln.

486
00:29:25,786 --> 00:29:31,242
<i>♪ Wake up and
suddenly you're in love ♪</i>

487
00:29:40,941 --> 00:29:42,554
Sorry.
I didn't mean to bother you

488
00:29:42,705 --> 00:29:44,321
if you're in the
middle of something or...

489
00:29:44,585 --> 00:29:45,589
You are a little lost?

490
00:29:45,736 --> 00:29:46,740
No.

491
00:29:46,886 --> 00:29:49,539
I was just walking around, and
then I heard music and so...

492
00:29:49,765 --> 00:29:52,918
Quick. Get in before Wattlesbrook
confiscates this thing.

493
00:29:55,328 --> 00:29:56,790
Let's hope you're not her spy.

494
00:29:57,091 --> 00:29:59,057
Mrs. Wattlesbrook?
Yeah.

495
00:29:59,204 --> 00:30:02,159
She made me sign half a dozen
proper behavior agreements...

496
00:30:02,310 --> 00:30:03,544
Right.

497
00:30:03,614 --> 00:30:06,571
Swear to keep any modern contraption
out of sight of the guests.

498
00:30:06,685 --> 00:30:07,992
Right.

499
00:30:08,986 --> 00:30:10,645
Including you, Miss Erstwhile.

500
00:30:10,865 --> 00:30:13,715
I'm not a spy.
I swear.

501
00:30:13,974 --> 00:30:17,858
And you don't have to call me
Miss Erstwhile. It's Jane.

502
00:30:18,922 --> 00:30:20,385
Martin.

503
00:30:22,874 --> 00:30:24,643
I am so sorry
about this afternoon.

504
00:30:24,716 --> 00:30:27,597
No, no. Don't be.
Don't even worry about it.

505
00:30:27,709 --> 00:30:29,444
I would have
been absolutely fine

506
00:30:29,589 --> 00:30:31,357
if it weren't for
Prince Valiant showing up.

507
00:30:31,509 --> 00:30:32,741
The actors are
paid to be valiant.

508
00:30:32,812 --> 00:30:33,815
Right.

509
00:30:33,886 --> 00:30:38,384
They have some "Most Valiant
Player of the Month" award.

510
00:30:38,951 --> 00:30:42,062
Still, it's nice to have
a little break from them.

511
00:30:46,318 --> 00:30:48,467
Do you mind if I
turn back on your music?

512
00:30:48,811 --> 00:30:50,427
No, of course not.

513
00:30:57,021 --> 00:31:00,022
You're a real easy
listening kinda guy, huh?

514
00:31:01,204 --> 00:31:03,125
Yeah. It relaxes me.

515
00:31:04,158 --> 00:31:06,930
Yeah. The easier...
The easier, the better.

516
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,153
Here it comes.

517
00:31:10,335 --> 00:31:15,137
<i>♪ I used to think that
love was just a fairy tale ♪</i>

518
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:17,282
You're a really great singer.

519
00:31:17,355 --> 00:31:20,434
You've got really
great taste in gowns.

520
00:31:20,503 --> 00:31:22,009
You make it
a little hard for me

521
00:31:22,074 --> 00:31:24,727
to take myself
seriously in this getup.

522
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:27,603
Where are you in there?
There you are, yeah.

523
00:31:30,746 --> 00:31:32,328
Do you slow dance?

524
00:31:33,432 --> 00:31:34,467
Sure.

525
00:31:36,886 --> 00:31:42,985
<i>♪ Suddenly life has
new meaning to me ♪</i>

526
00:31:46,476 --> 00:31:49,706
I don't remember Wattlesbrook
teaching us that move.

527
00:31:50,505 --> 00:31:53,845
Yeah, neither will those
posh boys up at the house.

528
00:31:59,214 --> 00:32:01,713
Ah. I almost forgot about it.

529
00:32:01,784 --> 00:32:05,168
Do you have another girl
hidden around here somewhere?

530
00:32:05,277 --> 00:32:06,314
Yeah.

531
00:32:07,387 --> 00:32:08,773
What was that?

532
00:32:08,845 --> 00:32:10,764
Shh.
You don't wanna scare her.

533
00:32:15,406 --> 00:32:16,912
Hey, hey, hey.

534
00:32:19,741 --> 00:32:21,279
Hey, hey, hey.

535
00:32:22,503 --> 00:32:25,155
Wow. You put
all the girls at ease?

536
00:32:25,573 --> 00:32:27,079
Only the wild ones.

537
00:32:31,289 --> 00:32:32,565
We almost missed it.

538
00:32:33,169 --> 00:32:35,319
Is this horse about to
have a baby right here?

539
00:32:36,086 --> 00:32:37,548
I've never seen
anything being born.

540
00:32:37,621 --> 00:32:38,776
Go get me some straw.
Wait a second.

541
00:32:38,847 --> 00:32:41,313
Are you gonna have to stick your hands
up in and flip it or something?

542
00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:42,804
Jane, just go get her some straw.
Yeah, all right.

543
00:32:45,256 --> 00:32:47,328
Breathe, you can do this.

544
00:32:47,442 --> 00:32:48,828
Straw. Get it.
Yeah.

545
00:32:49,629 --> 00:32:50,817
I found some!

546
00:32:50,894 --> 00:32:52,586
Okay. Thanks, Jane.

547
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,429
My God, what's that?

548
00:32:55,268 --> 00:32:56,227
Jane.

549
00:32:56,343 --> 00:32:57,302
I'm coming right now.

550
00:32:57,378 --> 00:32:59,113
Get the straw, Jane!

551
00:32:59,719 --> 00:33:03,450
Push! Push! Push!

552
00:33:04,170 --> 00:33:05,556
That's it...

553
00:33:05,626 --> 00:33:07,320
Oh, my... Sparkle.

554
00:33:07,393 --> 00:33:08,429
I found it!

555
00:33:08,506 --> 00:33:10,120
Jane, it's beautiful.

556
00:33:10,193 --> 00:33:11,884
Got the straw.

557
00:33:11,958 --> 00:33:13,956
Oh, my gosh!

558
00:33:14,029 --> 00:33:15,995
It's the miracle of birth.

559
00:33:19,209 --> 00:33:21,479
There you go.
Up you get, buddy.

560
00:33:23,544 --> 00:33:25,618
Run free, little Sparkle.

561
00:33:30,259 --> 00:33:32,223
Prince Valiant
couldn't do that.

562
00:33:32,292 --> 00:33:33,570
No.

563
00:33:34,633 --> 00:33:37,787
That was amazing, though.
That was really amazing.

564
00:33:38,969 --> 00:33:41,468
I should probably get going.

565
00:33:42,689 --> 00:33:44,120
You got...

566
00:33:44,185 --> 00:33:45,879
Might not want that.

567
00:33:48,790 --> 00:33:51,136
Can I give you something first?

568
00:33:52,204 --> 00:33:53,318
Just“

569
00:34:04,865 --> 00:34:07,518
Wanted to do that for a while.

570
00:34:07,590 --> 00:34:09,663
Good night, Jane Erstwhile.

571
00:34:09,739 --> 00:34:11,046
Good night.

572
00:34:20,519 --> 00:34:25,321
"She had had many a hint from Mr.
Knightley, and some from her own heart."

573
00:34:25,392 --> 00:34:27,237
I have one, too.

574
00:34:27,885 --> 00:34:29,196
Ooh.

575
00:34:29,766 --> 00:34:32,341
Mr. Darcy said to Jane,

576
00:34:33,143 --> 00:34:36,525
"Jane, listen.
Listen right now.

577
00:34:37,172 --> 00:34:39,789
"If you were to
sleep with me tonight,

578
00:34:39,895 --> 00:34:42,819
"I would actually
speak to you the next day,

579
00:34:43,769 --> 00:34:48,769
"unlike any man that you will
meet 100 years from now."

580
00:34:53,477 --> 00:34:55,704
Please.
Please shut your hole.

581
00:34:59,232 --> 00:35:02,615
Men and women wouldn't even
touch before marriage,

582
00:35:03,644 --> 00:35:06,525
let alone be alone in
the same room together.

583
00:35:07,251 --> 00:35:08,526
I don't think he would ever say

584
00:35:08,593 --> 00:35:11,595
something like that,
and he was a gentleman.

585
00:35:16,074 --> 00:35:17,962
Why are we sewing again?

586
00:35:19,067 --> 00:35:22,833
I guess this is how women must
have spent a lot of their time.

587
00:35:23,518 --> 00:35:28,016
Well, if the men don't
come back from hunting soon,

588
00:35:28,082 --> 00:35:30,125
I'm gonna ask for a refund.

589
00:35:32,304 --> 00:35:35,917
What about you, Miss Erstwhile?
Are you enjoying yourself?

590
00:35:35,988 --> 00:35:39,250
It is a shame we are
so awkwardly grouped.

591
00:35:39,326 --> 00:35:42,053
Two gentlemen and three ladies,

592
00:35:42,127 --> 00:35:45,816
leaving you always to
bring up the rear alone.

593
00:35:50,145 --> 00:35:51,879
If you'll excuse me,
I think I'm gonna

594
00:35:52,062 --> 00:35:53,832
go to the library
for a little while.

595
00:36:07,563 --> 00:36:09,255
Jane.

596
00:36:09,406 --> 00:36:10,791
I'm reading.

597
00:36:15,966 --> 00:36:19,380
You're not really allowed to read
down on the sluice gate. Okay?

598
00:36:19,802 --> 00:36:22,105
You know, this is off-limits,
okay? This is...

599
00:36:22,182 --> 00:36:25,063
This is really very
dangerous down here. Okay?

600
00:36:25,595 --> 00:36:27,407
Anything could happen.

601
00:36:29,011 --> 00:36:31,433
I mean,
I don't have to be reading.

602
00:36:33,230 --> 00:36:34,192
I just...

603
00:36:35,149 --> 00:36:36,656
Martin, come on.

604
00:36:36,722 --> 00:36:39,646
I'll go crazy if I have to sit
up in that house all afternoon.

605
00:36:39,752 --> 00:36:41,030
You love it up there.

606
00:36:41,326 --> 00:36:43,061
All those guys
paid to adore you.

607
00:36:43,130 --> 00:36:45,978
Come on, check out the butler.
He's got a 14-pack.

608
00:36:46,926 --> 00:36:48,041
You're right,
I'm gonna go find him.

609
00:36:48,232 --> 00:36:49,313
Yeah?

610
00:37:03,770 --> 00:37:05,079
You win.

611
00:37:05,152 --> 00:37:06,690
<i>♪ Looking from
the window above</i>

612
00:37:06,763 --> 00:37:09,185
<i>♪ It's like a story of life</i>

613
00:37:09,986 --> 00:37:12,562
<i>♪ Can you hear me?</i>

614
00:37:12,902 --> 00:37:15,598
<i>♪ Came back only yesterday</i>

615
00:37:15,663 --> 00:37:18,087
<i>♪ Who went further away</i>

616
00:37:18,618 --> 00:37:21,314
<i>♪ Want you near me</i>

617
00:37:22,225 --> 00:37:25,455
<i>♪ All I needed was
the love you gave</i>

618
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,823
<i>♪ All I needed for another day</i>

619
00:37:30,437 --> 00:37:33,163
<i>♪ And all I ever knew</i>

620
00:37:33,926 --> 00:37:35,465
<i>♪ Only you</i>

621
00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:41,764
<i>♪ Sometimes when
I think of her name</i>

622
00:37:41,830 --> 00:37:44,024
<i>♪ When it's only a game</i>

623
00:37:44,707 --> 00:37:47,283
<i>♪ And I need you</i>

624
00:37:47,739 --> 00:37:50,205
<i>♪ Listen to the words
that you say</i>

625
00:37:50,272 --> 00:37:52,891
<i>♪ It's getting harder to stay</i>

626
00:37:53,455 --> 00:37:56,184
<i>♪ When I see you ♪</i>

627
00:37:57,945 --> 00:37:59,680
Martin, the birds.

628
00:37:59,748 --> 00:38:01,364
I'll see you later?

629
00:38:01,435 --> 00:38:05,856
Yeah. I just gotta put away a few fake
birds. Maybe see you at the stables?

630
00:38:06,616 --> 00:38:07,893
Okay.

631
00:38:16,285 --> 00:38:17,822
Awful as spread, is this one.

632
00:38:18,088 --> 00:38:20,281
But really. Never before...

633
00:38:21,885 --> 00:38:24,156
I'm gonna need a new
inkwell in my room.

634
00:38:24,226 --> 00:38:26,038
Are you?
Yeah, it's empty.

635
00:38:26,107 --> 00:38:27,144
Really?

636
00:38:27,217 --> 00:38:29,871
And what are you going to pen
while you're there?

637
00:38:29,942 --> 00:38:32,408
Maybe a little journal
of your time and experiences?

638
00:38:32,475 --> 00:38:35,018
Maybe the Declaration of Independence.
Really?

639
00:38:35,085 --> 00:38:36,547
Sumptuous beans.
My favorite.

640
00:38:36,619 --> 00:38:37,775
Yummy.

641
00:38:38,268 --> 00:38:39,697
How does one go about
eating a fish this big?

642
00:38:39,765 --> 00:38:40,724
They're so delicious!

643
00:38:41,184 --> 00:38:42,841
Baked, stewed.

644
00:38:42,910 --> 00:38:44,449
Refried.

645
00:38:44,523 --> 00:38:45,798
Marvelous.

646
00:38:46,939 --> 00:38:50,125
Everyone. I have great news.

647
00:38:50,738 --> 00:38:54,622
Captain George East has just
arrived from the West Indies.

648
00:39:01,672 --> 00:39:02,905
Good morning, ladies.

649
00:39:03,898 --> 00:39:05,480
You're beautiful.

650
00:39:07,235 --> 00:39:09,539
I hear you were
just made captain.

651
00:39:10,112 --> 00:39:11,805
Do tell us the story.

652
00:39:11,915 --> 00:39:13,913
Yes, we like stories. Please do.
Can't wait.

653
00:39:14,486 --> 00:39:17,870
I were raised on the sea. Ferrying
goods between the islands.

654
00:39:18,669 --> 00:39:22,281
But when Napoleon struck, I joined
arms with me British brothers.

655
00:39:23,350 --> 00:39:25,194
Bravi, bravi.

656
00:39:25,843 --> 00:39:29,149
Within months
I were first mate,

657
00:39:29,220 --> 00:39:31,565
and then came my
moment of destiny.

658
00:39:32,174 --> 00:39:34,946
Imagine one lone
British frigate,

659
00:39:35,013 --> 00:39:37,086
surrounded by four
French war crafts,

660
00:39:37,161 --> 00:39:38,242
cap'n dead on the deck.

661
00:39:38,312 --> 00:39:39,971
"Surrender," came the cry.
Anyone buying this?

662
00:39:40,384 --> 00:39:42,196
"Never," said I.

663
00:39:42,648 --> 00:39:44,001
Did you die?

664
00:39:45,832 --> 00:39:49,904
Now I were tempted to surrender,
but I had to hearten me men.

665
00:39:50,973 --> 00:39:52,557
"Death first."

666
00:39:55,309 --> 00:39:59,193
But surely there could be
no dishonor in surrender

667
00:39:59,299 --> 00:40:02,563
with your captain dead
and your men so outnumbered?

668
00:40:02,637 --> 00:40:05,594
When my seaman's heart
tell me what to do,

669
00:40:05,668 --> 00:40:08,168
I do not fear to
follow through.

670
00:40:08,699 --> 00:40:10,510
That rhymes. That rhymes.

671
00:40:10,579 --> 00:40:11,769
But right now,

672
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,306
my seaman's heart
bid me do thusly.

673
00:40:18,637 --> 00:40:21,790
You are a most
sensual creature.

674
00:40:23,278 --> 00:40:24,205
Thank you.

675
00:40:24,275 --> 00:40:25,553
On.

676
00:40:41,349 --> 00:40:43,620
I say.
Steady on, Captain.

677
00:40:45,186 --> 00:40:46,650
This is absurd.

678
00:40:48,408 --> 00:40:49,445
Oh!
Oh!

679
00:40:50,328 --> 00:40:51,441
Watch out, Nobley.

680
00:40:51,516 --> 00:40:53,283
No, don't get up
too quickly, George.

681
00:40:53,358 --> 00:40:54,592
I believe the ladies are needed

682
00:40:54,663 --> 00:40:56,965
in the drawing room
with Mrs. Wattlesbrook.

683
00:40:57,041 --> 00:40:58,470
Lizzie darling.

684
00:40:58,614 --> 00:40:59,772
I'll be along shortly.

685
00:40:59,841 --> 00:41:01,762
I'm your humble servant,
My Lady.

686
00:41:01,837 --> 00:41:04,031
<i>Ladies,
please join me in the parlor</i>

687
00:41:04,101 --> 00:41:07,942
<i>for my lecture series
on bonnets, bosoms and vices.</i>

688
00:41:16,914 --> 00:41:18,378
Hi.
Hey.

689
00:41:20,943 --> 00:41:22,177
What do we have planned today?

690
00:41:22,401 --> 00:41:25,207
What, you couldn't find anyone
else to flirt with today?

691
00:41:26,391 --> 00:41:28,618
I saw you parading
around with those actors.

692
00:41:29,039 --> 00:41:31,156
I thought you
weren't into that stuff.

693
00:41:31,226 --> 00:41:32,416
Maybe I am.

694
00:41:33,258 --> 00:41:34,722
Well, I've never
really been able to

695
00:41:34,832 --> 00:41:36,143
respect the kind of
women that come here.

696
00:41:36,214 --> 00:41:38,986
So I guess I was fooling myself
that you weren't one of them.

697
00:41:39,513 --> 00:41:41,663
What, so are you
breaking up with me?

698
00:41:41,738 --> 00:41:43,322
Breaking up?

699
00:41:43,390 --> 00:41:45,658
I didn't realize
we were going steady.

700
00:41:45,728 --> 00:41:48,150
No, sorry, I didn't mean it.

701
00:42:04,683 --> 00:42:08,415
<i>If I was sane when I shot
you, I would have aimed for your head.</i>

702
00:42:09,324 --> 00:42:10,437
Did you see that?

703
00:42:10,975 --> 00:42:12,861
That was amazing, George.

704
00:42:12,930 --> 00:42:14,285
I mean,
really beautiful acting.

705
00:42:14,350 --> 00:42:15,737
I had to
drink human breast milk

706
00:42:15,847 --> 00:42:17,352
supplements to get arms that big.
Ugh!

707
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:18,379
Mean...

708
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,342
Must be what makes
your hair so shiny.

709
00:42:21,410 --> 00:42:22,719
Can I use your power socket?

710
00:42:23,136 --> 00:42:25,517
But you'll have to turn off the telly.
George, do you mind?

711
00:42:25,591 --> 00:42:26,597
Well, I...

712
00:42:26,666 --> 00:42:28,586
Well, we'll watch it later.
Okay.

713
00:42:29,697 --> 00:42:31,891
Welcome to the Pleasure Dome.

714
00:42:32,996 --> 00:42:34,688
Thank you.
Hey, George.

715
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:35,837
Hey, Martin. You good?

716
00:42:35,913 --> 00:42:36,917
Yeah.

717
00:42:37,793 --> 00:42:39,528
Welcome back, eh.

718
00:42:40,133 --> 00:42:42,403
How are the ladies
treating you this year?

719
00:42:42,473 --> 00:42:44,667
Well, I can't complain.

720
00:42:44,738 --> 00:42:46,244
I can't complain.

721
00:42:46,310 --> 00:42:47,467
You really let yourself go.

722
00:42:48,650 --> 00:42:50,004
What? Really? What?

723
00:42:50,070 --> 00:42:51,958
Don't. Leave the boy alone.

724
00:42:52,028 --> 00:42:53,719
How is life in the stables?

725
00:42:54,328 --> 00:42:56,871
My horses are less
trouble than women.

726
00:43:00,122 --> 00:43:02,741
What do you guys
think of that girl, Jane?

727
00:43:02,847 --> 00:43:04,353
What's its name?
You know, Miss...

728
00:43:04,420 --> 00:43:05,696
Erstwhile.

729
00:43:05,762 --> 00:43:07,726
Yeah, I could
slap that between a bun.

730
00:43:07,795 --> 00:43:09,793
Well, she's a bit peculiar.

731
00:43:09,868 --> 00:43:10,872
She's hot.

732
00:43:10,981 --> 00:43:12,018
She's all right.

733
00:43:14,087 --> 00:43:17,198
<i>♪ No flower of her kindred</i>

734
00:43:17,272 --> 00:43:21,497
<i>♪ No rosebud is nigh</i>

735
00:43:21,607 --> 00:43:26,060
<i>♪ To reflect back her blushes</i>

736
00:43:26,136 --> 00:43:31,897
<i>♪ Give sigh for sigh ♪</i>

737
00:43:33,464 --> 00:43:35,809
Perfect,
Lady Heartwright. Perfect.

738
00:43:35,881 --> 00:43:38,074
I have no words to describe it.

739
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:40,104
I say.

740
00:43:40,177 --> 00:43:43,712
I would die enraptured to hear
you play, Miss Erstwhile.

741
00:43:43,784 --> 00:43:45,246
No, not tonight, not tonight.

742
00:43:45,318 --> 00:43:46,748
Go on, go on.
Please.

743
00:43:46,815 --> 00:43:49,619
Miss Erstwhile, I insist.

744
00:43:53,337 --> 00:43:54,418
Okay.

745
00:43:55,947 --> 00:43:57,791
Allow me.
Thank you.

746
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:11,869
I only really know one song.

747
00:44:11,946 --> 00:44:13,833
Play that one then.
Not surprising.

748
00:44:14,362 --> 00:44:16,174
So I'll just play that.

749
00:44:28,865 --> 00:44:30,676
<i>♪ It's getting hot in here</i>

750
00:44:30,745 --> 00:44:32,862
<i>♪ So take off all your clothes</i>

751
00:44:32,932 --> 00:44:35,158
<i>♪ I am getting so hot</i>

752
00:44:35,235 --> 00:44:37,852
I'm gonna take my clothes off

753
00:44:37,919 --> 00:44:39,109
I never

754
00:44:43,637 --> 00:44:45,678
I think I will retire early.

755
00:44:49,966 --> 00:44:51,932
That was frigging awesome.

756
00:45:19,662 --> 00:45:21,200
Where are you going?
Whoa!

757
00:45:21,274 --> 00:45:23,578
Sorry. Sorry.
I didn't know

758
00:45:23,652 --> 00:45:26,610
I became a ninja when
startled in a strange place.

759
00:45:26,683 --> 00:45:29,641
My father, if he were alive,
would die of shame.

760
00:45:29,715 --> 00:45:31,373
And here was I thinking
that any father would be

761
00:45:31,441 --> 00:45:33,712
delighted to have
a ninja as a daughter.

762
00:45:41,263 --> 00:45:42,616
Excuse me.

763
00:45:43,527 --> 00:45:44,913
Miss Erstwhile.
Yes.

764
00:45:44,985 --> 00:45:47,287
I don't know if
you realize that

765
00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:52,164
it's not proper in this
particular time, or any time,

766
00:45:52,237 --> 00:45:54,659
for a lady to be
alone after dark...

767
00:45:55,650 --> 00:45:58,303
Okay. Let alone cavorting
with the servants...

768
00:45:58,375 --> 00:45:59,566
Cavort?

769
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:00,874
When doing so might lead to...

770
00:46:00,946 --> 00:46:02,298
Did you just say "cavort"?

771
00:46:02,365 --> 00:46:04,406
There's just something about
that guy I really don't...

772
00:46:04,475 --> 00:46:06,778
Aren't you all righteous
concern, Mr. Nobley?

773
00:46:06,853 --> 00:46:09,932
Thank goodness you've saved me from
sullying myself with the help.

774
00:46:10,691 --> 00:46:12,502
Don't be so ridiculous.

775
00:46:12,954 --> 00:46:14,384
Insufferable.

776
00:46:17,749 --> 00:46:21,320
Well,
good evening, Miss Erstwhile.

777
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,968
Good evening,
Mr. Wattlesbrook.

778
00:46:24,042 --> 00:46:28,309
Still awake, are you?
Up to some mischief, I hope.

779
00:46:29,222 --> 00:46:31,994
Just needed some fresh air.
If you'll excuse me.

780
00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:34,059
No, no, stay a moment.

781
00:46:34,593 --> 00:46:38,162
We might engage in
a private game of whist.

782
00:46:39,005 --> 00:46:40,239
That's a four-person game.

783
00:46:40,309 --> 00:46:41,772
We could be partners.

784
00:46:42,189 --> 00:46:45,922
Little wink-wink, little
nudge-nudge, under the table.

785
00:46:45,988 --> 00:46:47,528
I think I should go to bed now.

786
00:46:47,599 --> 00:46:49,105
Precisely my point.
No.

787
00:46:49,172 --> 00:46:51,443
This is so not
Regency appropriate!

788
00:46:51,514 --> 00:46:54,318
We can make it part of the game.
Do a little role play.

789
00:46:54,391 --> 00:46:56,736
Get off of me.
Get off of me!

790
00:46:58,227 --> 00:46:59,733
Miss Erstwhile?

791
00:46:59,839 --> 00:47:01,421
Are you all right?

792
00:47:01,911 --> 00:47:04,912
Whatever is the matter? I didn't
have time to locate my breeches.

793
00:47:06,514 --> 00:47:08,130
Why, Mr. Wattlesbrook,
not again.

794
00:47:08,394 --> 00:47:10,054
Little slag attacked me!

795
00:47:10,391 --> 00:47:12,813
Well, obviously.
She is a ninja.

796
00:47:17,219 --> 00:47:18,451
Come here.

797
00:47:18,906 --> 00:47:20,674
I have to tell you,
the lads are not gonna

798
00:47:20,748 --> 00:47:22,101
cover up for you anymore.
I promise you.

799
00:47:22,168 --> 00:47:23,751
Just don't tell the missus!

800
00:47:23,818 --> 00:47:25,663
Well, I won't
tell the missus, but...

801
00:47:25,736 --> 00:47:26,742
I'll escort
you to your room.

802
00:47:26,848 --> 00:47:27,885
I'm okay now.

803
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,616
Thank you. I just...

804
00:47:30,225 --> 00:47:33,609
As long as there aren't any other
Mr. Wattlesbrooks lurking around.

805
00:47:33,679 --> 00:47:35,371
I cannot give Andrews
a glowing reference,

806
00:47:35,482 --> 00:47:38,364
though I do believe
you could take him down.

807
00:47:40,547 --> 00:47:44,693
Miss Erstwhile, are you sure there's
nothing more I can do for you?

808
00:47:44,805 --> 00:47:46,388
I'm fine.

809
00:47:47,911 --> 00:47:49,800
I should just go to bed.

810
00:47:51,556 --> 00:47:52,834
Good night.

811
00:47:57,004 --> 00:47:58,698
Apparently I bought
the cheap package.

812
00:47:58,769 --> 00:48:00,831
<i>The cheap package?
You kidding me?</i>

813
00:48:00,856 --> 00:48:01,369
No.

814
00:48:01,417 --> 00:48:02,846
I don't even think
my character gets

815
00:48:02,914 --> 00:48:04,605
the "happily ever
after" storyline.

816
00:48:04,679 --> 00:48:06,261
<i>I am going to kill
that travel agent.</i>

817
00:48:06,368 --> 00:48:08,517
I'm so mad I wasted
all my money.

818
00:48:08,591 --> 00:48:10,174
<i>Okay, enough is enough.</i>

819
00:48:10,242 --> 00:48:14,050
<i>You just need to come home
and buy your Tercel back.</i>

820
00:48:15,383 --> 00:48:18,460
Molly, I'm kind of
a mess, aren't I?

821
00:48:18,567 --> 00:48:19,681
<i>That's an understatement.</i>

822
00:48:19,758 --> 00:48:22,790
I wanna get over
all of this stuff,

823
00:48:22,864 --> 00:48:25,668
but if I leave now,
I'll always wonder "What if?"

824
00:48:25,742 --> 00:48:27,707
<i>So, what are you gonna do?</i>

825
00:48:31,957 --> 00:48:33,878
I'm going to take
charge of my story.

826
00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:36,222
An Austen heroine gets engaged
by the end of the book,

827
00:48:36,331 --> 00:48:37,838
so that is what
I'm going to do.

828
00:48:37,904 --> 00:48:39,639
Why don't you go
for Captain East?

829
00:48:40,130 --> 00:48:41,362
Look how hot he is.

830
00:48:41,434 --> 00:48:43,125
And he's a soap star.

831
00:48:47,688 --> 00:48:49,117
Captain East?

832
00:48:50,411 --> 00:48:52,148
Okay. East it is.

833
00:48:52,485 --> 00:48:54,251
But can you help me, please?

834
00:48:54,326 --> 00:48:56,520
I mean, this is not gonna work.

835
00:48:58,316 --> 00:49:02,920
I've prepared my entire life
for this very moment.

836
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:05,988
Someone's coming, hurry up.

837
00:49:13,010 --> 00:49:15,313
Heartwright had
millions of them.

838
00:49:15,848 --> 00:49:18,806
She's as dumb as a light post.
She'll never notice.

839
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:20,233
Oh, my God.

840
00:49:20,338 --> 00:49:21,767
Look at this one.

841
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:24,904
I love stealing
things from her.

842
00:49:26,476 --> 00:49:28,244
Watch my mouth.

843
00:49:28,318 --> 00:49:29,432
Blast.

844
00:49:30,812 --> 00:49:31,773
Blast.

845
00:49:31,887 --> 00:49:32,889
Good. Good.

846
00:49:33,728 --> 00:49:36,763
Bloody Americans.

847
00:49:39,905 --> 00:49:43,058
Bloody Americans.

848
00:49:44,356 --> 00:49:46,701
You got it.
You are the queen.

849
00:49:46,772 --> 00:49:47,930
Really?

850
00:50:02,503 --> 00:50:05,123
<i>♪ Her hair is Harlow gold</i>

851
00:50:06,494 --> 00:50:08,840
<i>♪ Her lips sweet surprise</i>

852
00:50:10,445 --> 00:50:12,945
<i>♪ Her hands are never cold</i>

853
00:50:14,167 --> 00:50:16,283
<i>♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes</i>

854
00:50:16,354 --> 00:50:18,897
<i>♪ She'll turn the music on you</i>

855
00:50:20,344 --> 00:50:22,887
<i>♪ You won't have
to think twice</i>

856
00:50:24,257 --> 00:50:26,528
<i>♪ She's pure as New York snow</i>

857
00:50:28,057 --> 00:50:30,479
<i>♪ She got Bette Davis eyes</i>

858
00:50:33,466 --> 00:50:36,499
<i>♪ And she'll tease you
She'll unease you</i>

859
00:50:37,263 --> 00:50:40,757
<i>♪ All the better
just to please you</i>

860
00:50:41,215 --> 00:50:42,985
<i>♪ She's precocious</i>

861
00:50:43,056 --> 00:50:44,901
<i>♪ And she knows just</i>

862
00:50:44,975 --> 00:50:48,937
<i>♪ What it takes
to make a pro blush ♪</i>

863
00:50:51,037 --> 00:50:52,806
...the family
name's not Nobley at all,

864
00:50:52,879 --> 00:50:55,836
and that's a French affectation.
In fact, it's Knobble.

865
00:50:55,948 --> 00:50:57,794
Knobble, just Knobble.

866
00:51:00,091 --> 00:51:03,977
You can tell by the way he uses his
chalk that he's a ladies' man.

867
00:51:04,045 --> 00:51:06,544
He doesn't have time for
that kind of conversation.

868
00:51:06,615 --> 00:51:08,458
Don't mind me.

869
00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:10,607
It's unusual
sometimes, but he is rather shy.

870
00:51:11,334 --> 00:51:13,330
Do you think he hears us?

871
00:51:13,406 --> 00:51:16,746
He doesn't look over and yet
his expressions and mannerisms

872
00:51:16,819 --> 00:51:19,166
are a bit too determined,
don't you think?

873
00:51:19,237 --> 00:51:21,049
Right you are, Miss Erstwhile.

874
00:51:21,502 --> 00:51:23,465
'Course I hear you.

875
00:51:23,534 --> 00:51:27,146
Have to be deaf not to the way
you lot are prattling on.

876
00:51:27,218 --> 00:51:31,058
I say, Nobley, you are being
awfully tedious today.

877
00:51:31,744 --> 00:51:32,979
Good one.

878
00:51:33,241 --> 00:51:34,475
You know, alone with the chaps,

879
00:51:34,584 --> 00:51:35,772
he's really quite
a pleasant fellow.

880
00:51:35,850 --> 00:51:37,738
Really?
Yes.

881
00:51:37,807 --> 00:51:39,160
No, baby.

882
00:51:39,227 --> 00:51:42,336
My little kumquat.
You made yourself all wet.

883
00:51:42,411 --> 00:51:43,719
Allow me.

884
00:51:44,330 --> 00:51:45,486
Oh.

885
00:51:46,939 --> 00:51:48,443
Look at you, all moist.

886
00:51:52,233 --> 00:51:54,732
Couldn't you just
use a handkerchief?

887
00:51:55,533 --> 00:51:56,918
Captain.

888
00:51:58,870 --> 00:52:03,399
Perhaps I don't find the
conversation of women to be

889
00:52:04,742 --> 00:52:05,777
stimulating.

890
00:52:05,852 --> 00:52:08,045
I just can't imagine
why you're still single.

891
00:52:08,309 --> 00:52:09,423
Don't see a ring
on your finger.

892
00:52:09,496 --> 00:52:10,654
Nobley.

893
00:52:10,725 --> 00:52:12,003
No, no, no, it's all right.

894
00:52:12,068 --> 00:52:14,033
I asked for it.

895
00:52:14,102 --> 00:52:15,794
I am single
because, apparently,

896
00:52:15,867 --> 00:52:17,863
the only good
men are fictional.

897
00:52:17,938 --> 00:52:18,942
Touché.

898
00:52:19,012 --> 00:52:22,199
And you think that there's
any good women out there?

899
00:52:22,274 --> 00:52:23,780
No, no, no.

900
00:52:23,847 --> 00:52:26,194
They profess
honesty and fidelity,

901
00:52:26,264 --> 00:52:28,490
and while you're away
lecturing in Switzerland,

902
00:52:28,566 --> 00:52:30,792
they run off to
Brazil with your mate!

903
00:52:30,869 --> 00:52:33,596
Get on with
the game, you old windbag!

904
00:52:34,859 --> 00:52:36,473
Someone departing?

905
00:52:44,642 --> 00:52:46,148
That's my trunk.

906
00:52:46,214 --> 00:52:50,557
I have discovered an unmentionable
amongst your things.

907
00:52:50,626 --> 00:52:52,438
Now I believe I
made it perfectly clear

908
00:52:52,507 --> 00:52:54,198
about the rules,
Miss Erstwhile.

909
00:52:54,272 --> 00:52:56,083
We thank you for your stay,
but I regret that

910
00:52:56,152 --> 00:52:58,117
your actions have
forced me to cut it short.

911
00:52:58,531 --> 00:52:59,535
What?

912
00:52:59,606 --> 00:53:01,143
First, that horrid
little song and now this.

913
00:53:01,216 --> 00:53:02,526
You're really
gonna kick me out?

914
00:53:02,597 --> 00:53:05,216
I'm afraid it is
time for you to leave.

915
00:53:10,232 --> 00:53:11,587
Go get 'em, Charming.

916
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:13,465
I'm so sorry, Jane.

917
00:53:15,373 --> 00:53:18,790
If you would be so kind
as to step on to the cart.

918
00:53:22,012 --> 00:53:23,364
Mrs. Wattlesbrook.

919
00:53:23,431 --> 00:53:24,860
Please, wait.

920
00:53:28,379 --> 00:53:29,995
This is all my fault.

921
00:53:30,069 --> 00:53:32,993
The modern contraption is mine.

922
00:53:34,288 --> 00:53:35,979
I did not realize I had
it until I first arrived.

923
00:53:36,092 --> 00:53:38,396
And I was so distressed,

924
00:53:38,471 --> 00:53:41,930
Miss Erstwhile kindly offered
to keep it for me

925
00:53:42,652 --> 00:53:45,764
where I would not have to
look upon the eyesore...

926
00:53:45,836 --> 00:53:47,496
Oh. Well,

927
00:53:47,564 --> 00:53:48,753
I see.

928
00:53:48,829 --> 00:53:51,711
So, apparently this appears
to be an accident,

929
00:53:52,397 --> 00:53:56,589
and I think the best thing is we
should pretend like it never happened.

930
00:54:01,145 --> 00:54:03,525
Lady Heartwright,
I do so hope that you will

931
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:05,903
continue to honor us
with your presence.

932
00:54:06,325 --> 00:54:08,060
Yes. Of course.

933
00:54:08,473 --> 00:54:09,708
Thank you.

934
00:54:15,072 --> 00:54:17,921
I forbid you to leave,
ever, Miss Erstwhile.

935
00:54:19,638 --> 00:54:22,290
We were just getting
to know each other.

936
00:54:28,386 --> 00:54:29,892
Miss Erstwhile.

937
00:54:30,611 --> 00:54:32,609
Yeah. Hi.

938
00:54:32,682 --> 00:54:35,564
Thank you for back there
with Mrs. Wattlesbrook.

939
00:54:35,636 --> 00:54:37,175
It was a pleasure to save you.

940
00:54:37,249 --> 00:54:40,053
And, please,
you must call me Amelia.

941
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:42,396
Really?

942
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,356
Make haste.

943
00:54:45,381 --> 00:54:46,571
Quickly.

944
00:54:53,286 --> 00:54:54,595
Amelia?

945
00:54:57,967 --> 00:55:00,269
Dear Jane, now that
we are bosom sisters,

946
00:55:00,384 --> 00:55:02,730
I can at last
confide in someone.

947
00:55:05,334 --> 00:55:06,567
Oh, Janey,

948
00:55:07,980 --> 00:55:10,129
last year, at the ball,

949
00:55:10,705 --> 00:55:11,893
Georgie...

950
00:55:13,121 --> 00:55:15,664
George East and I

951
00:55:16,766 --> 00:55:18,534
became engaged.

952
00:55:20,334 --> 00:55:21,371
It is true.

953
00:55:22,905 --> 00:55:25,753
But alas, he was a poor sailor,

954
00:55:26,742 --> 00:55:30,125
and my father broke off the
engagement without my assent.

955
00:55:31,807 --> 00:55:34,765
If I try to
explain this to him now,

956
00:55:35,759 --> 00:55:37,416
George will think
I only want him back

957
00:55:37,485 --> 00:55:40,137
because he has
become a wealthy captain.

958
00:55:41,629 --> 00:55:43,822
What am I to do?

959
00:55:43,891 --> 00:55:47,624
I sort of thought you were
into Nobley, or is that not...

960
00:55:47,881 --> 00:55:49,388
No, no, no!

961
00:55:50,146 --> 00:55:53,451
Dear Jane, I know
you will help me

962
00:55:53,522 --> 00:55:55,988
find a way to be
alone with Captain East.

963
00:55:56,054 --> 00:55:59,240
I don't really
know what I could do.

964
00:55:59,392 --> 00:56:02,699
It pained me to be so dishonest

965
00:56:02,768 --> 00:56:04,688
with Mrs. Wattlesbrook
back there.

966
00:56:05,876 --> 00:56:07,841
But so long as you

967
00:56:09,483 --> 00:56:11,448
are my dearest friend,

968
00:56:12,514 --> 00:56:14,477
I'll keep your secret.

969
00:56:15,582 --> 00:56:16,663
Oh.

970
00:56:17,656 --> 00:56:20,578
Or should I say secrets?

971
00:56:24,331 --> 00:56:26,480
Farewell, bosom sister.

972
00:56:35,381 --> 00:56:39,724
You know, I think being creative
is a waste of time and money.

973
00:56:40,368 --> 00:56:43,249
Well, I love ribbons
and feathers and colors.

974
00:56:43,936 --> 00:56:46,556
Another blue tit,
please, Miss Charming.

975
00:56:46,622 --> 00:56:49,580
All right, but don't
copy everything I do.

976
00:56:49,652 --> 00:56:50,842
I'll try.

977
00:56:50,957 --> 00:56:52,386
We're not worthy,
Mrs. Wattlesbrook.

978
00:56:52,454 --> 00:56:55,258
Their hearts will positively
burst from the rapture.

979
00:56:56,558 --> 00:56:59,592
I have something of the
utmost urgency to report.

980
00:57:00,548 --> 00:57:02,011
Who's game for
a bit of amusement?

981
00:57:02,083 --> 00:57:04,508
Me! Me! I'm so bored.

982
00:57:04,576 --> 00:57:07,152
Well, well, my cupcake,

983
00:57:07,225 --> 00:57:10,411
Mrs. Wattlesbrook has only
gone and surpassed herself

984
00:57:10,485 --> 00:57:13,978
and has completed
a brilliant theatrical.

985
00:57:14,437 --> 00:57:16,282
You don't look like
you could read or write.

986
00:57:16,356 --> 00:57:17,470
It's just a trifle.

987
00:57:17,776 --> 00:57:20,123
Now, there are six parts.

988
00:57:20,347 --> 00:57:21,929
Three sets of lovers.

989
00:57:21,995 --> 00:57:25,607
And I thought, give us something
to pass the time until the ball,

990
00:57:25,679 --> 00:57:27,721
we could rehearse
it and perform it

991
00:57:27,789 --> 00:57:31,359
for our illustrious
and distinguished authoress.

992
00:57:31,433 --> 00:57:32,940
Now are there any questions?

993
00:57:33,391 --> 00:57:35,050
No.
No what?

994
00:57:35,117 --> 00:57:37,159
You can't make me do a play.
It's humiliating.

995
00:57:37,228 --> 00:57:40,152
That's not a question. It's out
of the question, I'm afraid.

996
00:57:40,219 --> 00:57:42,064
I've got a question.

997
00:57:42,139 --> 00:57:43,950
Who gets to pick the lovers?

998
00:57:44,516 --> 00:57:47,367
Well, I'm thinking
maybe ladies' choice.

999
00:57:47,432 --> 00:57:48,895
You know, maybe alphabetically.

1000
00:57:49,006 --> 00:57:50,545
Goody, goody.

1001
00:57:50,618 --> 00:57:53,041
Eeny, meeny, miny... You!

1002
00:57:54,186 --> 00:57:55,418
<i>Ma chérie.</i>

1003
00:57:55,951 --> 00:57:57,566
And you, Miss Erstwhile?

1004
00:57:57,638 --> 00:57:59,222
Pick wisely, Jane.

1005
00:58:09,034 --> 00:58:10,954
I guess Mr. Nobley.

1006
00:58:18,356 --> 00:58:20,050
Sorry. Sorry.
That's okay.

1007
00:58:20,121 --> 00:58:21,235
Sorry.

1008
00:58:23,037 --> 00:58:25,733
Okay, since we have to spend so
much time rehearsing this thing,

1009
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,802
let's just... Let's try
not to annoy each other.

1010
00:58:28,869 --> 00:58:30,528
You don't annoy me.

1011
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:35,165
You make me nervous.

1012
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:48,629
So, are you enjoying your stay?

1013
00:58:50,470 --> 00:58:53,505
Really?
We're making small talk now?

1014
00:58:56,954 --> 00:58:57,990
Okay.

1015
00:59:00,253 --> 00:59:05,515
Well, the house is amazing, but
it's kind of like a corset.

1016
00:59:05,586 --> 00:59:07,474
I like the way it looks,
but it's just...

1017
00:59:07,582 --> 00:59:09,470
Hard to relax in it.

1018
00:59:09,576 --> 00:59:10,964
Yes, exactly.

1019
00:59:12,185 --> 00:59:14,379
But there is so
much to love here.

1020
00:59:14,488 --> 00:59:16,910
I mean, the civility.

1021
00:59:16,982 --> 00:59:18,095
The manners.

1022
00:59:18,171 --> 00:59:20,059
The grandeur, you know.

1023
00:59:20,127 --> 00:59:21,590
Simplicity.

1024
00:59:24,078 --> 00:59:25,541
The men.

1025
00:59:27,264 --> 00:59:28,573
The women.

1026
00:59:29,911 --> 00:59:32,453
The paintings.
They're really...

1027
00:59:33,097 --> 00:59:34,100
Yes, you are an artist.

1028
00:59:34,209 --> 00:59:35,213
No, no, no.

1029
00:59:35,283 --> 00:59:38,361
The thing is, those aren't real.
They're just stupid sketches.

1030
00:59:38,428 --> 00:59:40,241
Who's that?
Exactly.

1031
00:59:40,309 --> 00:59:42,077
I'm sorry.
They're not all like that.

1032
00:59:42,151 --> 00:59:43,308
No, no. It's a...

1033
00:59:43,608 --> 00:59:45,987
It's a fair likeness.
No apologies needed.

1034
00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:52,206
It is curious, however,

1035
00:59:52,279 --> 00:59:55,281
that there are more
of me than anyone else.

1036
00:59:56,422 --> 01:00:00,416
I guess I've been trying to
figure you out without much luck.

1037
01:00:01,411 --> 01:00:03,069
Surely you've come
to some conclusions.

1038
01:00:03,750 --> 01:00:05,793
You're the resident
Mr. Darcy.

1039
01:00:05,861 --> 01:00:08,361
Come on,
you're every girl's fantasy.

1040
01:00:10,234 --> 01:00:11,927
So I'm your fantasy?

1041
01:00:13,727 --> 01:00:16,104
You play your
character very well.

1042
01:00:19,443 --> 01:00:20,556
Right.

1043
01:00:22,971 --> 01:00:24,010
Shall we rehearse, then?

1044
01:00:24,123 --> 01:00:25,127
Yes.

1045
01:00:25,197 --> 01:00:26,355
Roger.

1046
01:00:34,981 --> 01:00:36,487
Are they acting?

1047
01:00:40,046 --> 01:00:42,895
I don't know what's real
or what's not anymore.

1048
01:00:42,961 --> 01:00:44,424
I mean, what if
she actually is...

1049
01:00:44,534 --> 01:00:45,921
In love with him?

1050
01:00:46,031 --> 01:00:49,218
Well, don't you think it's possible
to confuse truth with fantasy?

1051
01:00:49,292 --> 01:00:52,751
I mean, what's gonna happen
when the theatrical is over?

1052
01:00:53,282 --> 01:00:56,009
Well, it's a dangerous
kind of game to play.

1053
01:00:56,083 --> 01:00:59,849
Don't you think, in their case
anyway, those feelings that,

1054
01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:02,725
you know, that they
can run deeper and...

1055
01:01:02,798 --> 01:01:04,261
Oh, my.

1056
01:01:04,408 --> 01:01:07,715
If you'd have asked me a
week ago, I'd have said no.

1057
01:01:09,817 --> 01:01:11,706
Miss Erstwhile.
Yes.

1058
01:01:14,500 --> 01:01:16,081
You're shivering.

1059
01:01:19,871 --> 01:01:21,147
Thank you.

1060
01:01:32,723 --> 01:01:36,762
<i>Ladies, remember
to wear your corsets nice and tight.</i>

1061
01:01:37,174 --> 01:01:38,790
Jane, hey.
Martin.

1062
01:01:39,629 --> 01:01:40,863
Where are the other guests?

1063
01:01:40,935 --> 01:01:43,161
In their private whist lesson.

1064
01:01:43,235 --> 01:01:46,008
It's part of
the Platinum package.

1065
01:01:46,076 --> 01:01:47,658
I can't say that
I miss that perk.

1066
01:01:48,570 --> 01:01:49,496
Stage curtain.

1067
01:01:49,567 --> 01:01:51,182
Right. Right.

1068
01:01:52,828 --> 01:01:54,672
I'll let you get to it, then.

1069
01:01:55,936 --> 01:01:57,245
Oh.

1070
01:01:57,853 --> 01:01:59,317
I'm sorry.

1071
01:02:24,597 --> 01:02:28,819
lam Aphrodite, the goddess.

1072
01:02:28,932 --> 01:02:33,427
Often fickle in my large arse.

1073
01:02:33,535 --> 01:02:35,501
Largesse.
Largesse.

1074
01:02:36,260 --> 01:02:39,446
I see some mortals there.

1075
01:02:40,250 --> 01:02:44,286
Yes, two in love,
yet in despair.

1076
01:02:45,083 --> 01:02:49,044
Prithee, fair maid.
Have thou seen my lost lamb?

1077
01:02:49,688 --> 01:02:54,293
Nay. Perhaps you
should listen for its bleat.

1078
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:55,870
Bleat. Bleat.

1079
01:02:58,666 --> 01:03:03,347
Go not to Athens, I pray thee,
or my heart will truly break.

1080
01:03:04,266 --> 01:03:05,638
In faith and troth, I
have no time to love...

1081
01:03:05,664 --> 01:03:06,288
Can't hear you.

1082
01:03:06,339 --> 01:03:07,299
No, no, no, louder.

1083
01:03:07,490 --> 01:03:08,451
What?

1084
01:03:08,526 --> 01:03:09,989
Louder.
Speak up!

1085
01:03:10,061 --> 01:03:12,210
In faith and troth, I have
no time to love a lady.

1086
01:03:12,285 --> 01:03:13,714
War is my mistress.

1087
01:03:18,349 --> 01:03:19,734
Line?
I write poems of love.

1088
01:03:20,112 --> 01:03:25,067
I write poems of love
that no fair maid hears.

1089
01:03:25,406 --> 01:03:28,867
And I am shedding tears
that fall to the ground

1090
01:03:28,938 --> 01:03:31,709
but do not maketh
a sound like the land...

1091
01:03:31,815 --> 01:03:34,815
You're rubbish. Get off
the stage, you wanker.

1092
01:03:35,844 --> 01:03:36,848
Really!

1093
01:03:36,918 --> 01:03:38,193
Philistines!

1094
01:03:38,528 --> 01:03:41,869
I shall make
everything all righty

1095
01:03:41,943 --> 01:03:47,052
because I am
the beautiful Aphrodite.

1096
01:03:52,608 --> 01:03:54,530
Can I pray thee, stranger,

1097
01:03:54,604 --> 01:03:56,525
make me thy wife.

1098
01:03:58,326 --> 01:04:00,595
I seek no marriage
but the cleavage...

1099
01:04:00,666 --> 01:04:04,432
Cleaving of my sword
on mine enemy's flesh.

1100
01:04:05,617 --> 01:04:07,461
Then I shall die this day.

1101
01:04:07,533 --> 01:04:08,844
Thou cur.

1102
01:04:09,568 --> 01:04:13,408
You break this lady's heart,
I will break your head.

1103
01:04:27,178 --> 01:04:28,684
Get an ice pack.
Sorry.

1104
01:04:29,786 --> 01:04:30,944
Sorry.

1105
01:04:40,376 --> 01:04:41,915
Get on with it.
Sorry.

1106
01:04:43,944 --> 01:04:46,170
What a...
I've fallen upon my sword.

1107
01:04:47,359 --> 01:04:49,204
Is that blood upon your breast?

1108
01:04:49,277 --> 01:04:51,623
Alas, lam for the grave.

1109
01:04:56,146 --> 01:04:58,994
Then let me hold you
as long as your breath lasts.

1110
01:04:59,981 --> 01:05:02,830
It's as if I have never known
you before this moment.

1111
01:05:02,898 --> 01:05:06,128
And nought else matters
in this world but you

1112
01:05:06,197 --> 01:05:08,891
and how my heart beats for you.

1113
01:05:09,266 --> 01:05:10,500
I love you.

1114
01:05:14,139 --> 01:05:15,492
You need to die, Nobley.

1115
01:05:16,057 --> 01:05:18,174
Sorry. Sorry.

1116
01:05:23,386 --> 01:05:26,724
No, we are all dead.

1117
01:05:28,796 --> 01:05:29,755
No!

1118
01:05:33,131 --> 01:05:36,622
And they all died forever.

1119
01:05:40,843 --> 01:05:43,614
All dead forever.

1120
01:05:44,295 --> 01:05:46,029
Shut up, Fartwright.

1121
01:05:48,784 --> 01:05:50,060
Oh!

1122
01:05:52,621 --> 01:05:54,541
Bravo. Bravo!

1123
01:05:55,805 --> 01:05:57,650
Mrs. Wattlesbrook,
you're a genius.

1124
01:05:57,723 --> 01:05:59,414
Such talent.

1125
01:05:59,488 --> 01:06:01,792
Lady Heartwright, you make
such a beautiful corpse.

1126
01:06:02,711 --> 01:06:04,099
You!

1127
01:06:04,168 --> 01:06:06,592
You know,
I was aiming for your cans,

1128
01:06:06,701 --> 01:06:09,080
but they're such
a small target.

1129
01:06:10,615 --> 01:06:11,891
Oh!

1130
01:06:19,593 --> 01:06:21,819
I'll never see again.

1131
01:06:22,932 --> 01:06:24,207
It's okay, my baby.

1132
01:06:28,609 --> 01:06:30,530
Let's get out of here.
Come on.

1133
01:06:32,408 --> 01:06:35,212
<i>♪ You great,
big beautiful door ♪</i>

1134
01:06:45,759 --> 01:06:47,222
Come on.

1135
01:06:50,249 --> 01:06:51,678
This way.

1136
01:06:52,972 --> 01:06:54,161
Why are we running?

1137
01:06:54,239 --> 01:06:55,896
Because man and
woman should never

1138
01:06:55,965 --> 01:06:57,928
be alone unless
they are in motion.

1139
01:07:04,752 --> 01:07:08,015
And what do the rules of
etiquette say about being alone

1140
01:07:08,087 --> 01:07:09,476
in your bedroom?

1141
01:07:10,429 --> 01:07:11,781
Right.

1142
01:07:12,577 --> 01:07:17,108
I should probably let you go before
one of us gets into trouble.

1143
01:07:20,788 --> 01:07:23,789
I really had so
much fun tonight.

1144
01:07:23,895 --> 01:07:25,282
So did I.

1145
01:07:37,631 --> 01:07:38,865
Miss Erstwhile?

1146
01:07:42,121 --> 01:07:43,855
Yes, Mr. Nobley?

1147
01:07:45,343 --> 01:07:47,231
Tomorrow evening...

1148
01:07:47,376 --> 01:07:49,800
Can I reserve the first
two dances with you?

1149
01:07:51,366 --> 01:07:52,643
Yes, Mr. Nobley.

1150
01:07:55,626 --> 01:07:58,004
Miss Erstwhile, will you
let me back in a moment?

1151
01:08:10,012 --> 01:08:12,316
When I look at you, I feel

1152
01:08:13,274 --> 01:08:14,857
certain of something.

1153
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:40,286
Guess what?
What?

1154
01:08:40,362 --> 01:08:45,043
I'm wearing my favorite pair of
satin pink pantaloons just in case.

1155
01:08:48,034 --> 01:08:49,878
Oh, my God.
Look at that.

1156
01:08:51,526 --> 01:08:54,298
We're gonna be the prettiest
girls at the ball.

1157
01:08:58,739 --> 01:09:00,277
Have fun tonight, Amelia.

1158
01:09:01,309 --> 01:09:02,313
Oh.

1159
01:09:02,384 --> 01:09:04,196
You look so beautiful.

1160
01:09:04,532 --> 01:09:07,075
Piratey.
But like a beautiful pirate.

1161
01:09:07,180 --> 01:09:08,947
It's infected.

1162
01:09:09,097 --> 01:09:10,909
I'm so sorry.
Maybe we should go.

1163
01:09:11,284 --> 01:09:12,518
Ship's ahoy.

1164
01:09:12,629 --> 01:09:13,903
Baby?

1165
01:09:14,086 --> 01:09:15,394
It's okay, you look fine.

1166
01:09:15,467 --> 01:09:16,656
It looks terrible.

1167
01:09:16,848 --> 01:09:18,005
That does not look good.

1168
01:09:18,077 --> 01:09:22,299
I was hoping to dance
with a goddess tonight.

1169
01:09:24,330 --> 01:09:25,912
Lordy.

1170
01:09:25,980 --> 01:09:28,555
Smother me in butter
and drop me in a saucepan.

1171
01:09:28,627 --> 01:09:32,119
There she is.
My Venus de Milo.

1172
01:09:34,497 --> 01:09:35,534
Colonel Andrews.

1173
01:09:35,609 --> 01:09:36,614
Miss Charming.

1174
01:09:47,504 --> 01:09:49,010
Tally-ho.

1175
01:09:50,342 --> 01:09:52,307
I can't wait to
see your bedroom.

1176
01:10:02,274 --> 01:10:03,278
Hi.

1177
01:10:03,426 --> 01:10:04,385
Hey.

1178
01:10:06,648 --> 01:10:09,801
Wow, you look...
You look amazing.

1179
01:10:10,371 --> 01:10:13,402
Thank you.
You look very nice, too.

1180
01:10:14,092 --> 01:10:15,706
Topshop.

1181
01:10:15,971 --> 01:10:17,969
Where are all
these people from?

1182
01:10:18,044 --> 01:10:21,962
She's got everyone here, it's the
gardener, the maids, the servants.

1183
01:10:22,033 --> 01:10:24,499
That guy over there,
that's the taxidermist.

1184
01:10:24,566 --> 01:10:25,995
He's particularly creepy.

1185
01:10:27,634 --> 01:10:28,824
How is the baby horse?

1186
01:10:28,978 --> 01:10:30,092
He's good.

1187
01:10:30,167 --> 01:10:31,978
Yeah.
He's talking and all that.

1188
01:10:32,085 --> 01:10:33,898
Yeah. He was asking about you.
Really?

1189
01:10:33,965 --> 01:10:35,928
Yeah. He said,
"Where's Straw Girl?"

1190
01:10:38,953 --> 01:10:41,496
I made an impression, I'm sure.

1191
01:10:42,329 --> 01:10:44,325
Jane, I'm really into you.

1192
01:10:44,401 --> 01:10:47,021
And if you wanna get
out of here, I mean...

1193
01:10:47,087 --> 01:10:48,593
Miss Erstwhile?

1194
01:10:49,312 --> 01:10:50,699
Shall we?

1195
01:11:17,779 --> 01:11:19,744
Shall we?
Yes.

1196
01:11:26,030 --> 01:11:26,989
You're stunning.

1197
01:11:27,104 --> 01:11:28,064
Really?

1198
01:11:46,133 --> 01:11:47,717
You all right?

1199
01:11:47,975 --> 01:11:50,748
I'm fine. And you?
Are you having fun?

1200
01:11:51,390 --> 01:11:53,932
I'm taking an inordinate amount
of pleasure from this evening.

1201
01:11:54,535 --> 01:11:57,416
You're so light on your
feet, you look like a nutcracker.

1202
01:11:59,216 --> 01:12:01,214
But none of it from the ball.

1203
01:12:01,863 --> 01:12:03,981
I think you just
complimented me.

1204
01:12:04,051 --> 01:12:05,972
Jane, I need to
tell you something.

1205
01:12:06,083 --> 01:12:07,895
I'm not meant to say
or do these things,

1206
01:12:08,003 --> 01:12:10,274
my aunt would kill me, but...

1207
01:12:10,496 --> 01:12:11,959
You are my sun and my moon.

1208
01:12:12,031 --> 01:12:14,454
My earth and my stars.

1209
01:12:14,563 --> 01:12:15,797
Marry me.

1210
01:12:15,867 --> 01:12:19,250
Marry you? Oh, my God,
of course I will.

1211
01:12:20,241 --> 01:12:22,467
Oh, God, I love you.
I love you.

1212
01:12:22,543 --> 01:12:25,391
You make me the happiest
man alive, dear Amelia,

1213
01:12:25,459 --> 01:12:27,881
if you'd be my wife.

1214
01:12:27,992 --> 01:12:29,649
Oh, George.

1215
01:12:33,823 --> 01:12:36,290
Jane.
Remember our first night?

1216
01:12:37,391 --> 01:12:40,240
Something about bad first
impressions comes to mind.

1217
01:12:40,575 --> 01:12:42,694
I know your opinion
of me was horrible.

1218
01:12:42,762 --> 01:12:45,033
I was horrible.

1219
01:12:45,103 --> 01:12:46,412
I was nervous.

1220
01:12:46,484 --> 01:12:47,837
I felt out of place
and I certainly

1221
01:12:47,904 --> 01:12:50,020
didn't intend on
falling in love, but...

1222
01:12:50,474 --> 01:12:51,435
I have.

1223
01:12:52,009 --> 01:12:54,355
I can't imagine leaving
this place without you.

1224
01:12:54,464 --> 01:12:58,275
Please,
tell me if I have any hope.

1225
01:13:00,834 --> 01:13:02,984
I didn't realize...

1226
01:13:03,059 --> 01:13:05,526
This is how I'd
feel at this part.

1227
01:13:06,206 --> 01:13:08,202
Feel what?

1228
01:13:12,076 --> 01:13:15,720
You were right, this is a
dangerous kind of game.

1229
01:13:17,946 --> 01:13:20,096
I don't wanna play anymore.

1230
01:13:21,666 --> 01:13:23,205
What do you want?

1231
01:13:24,198 --> 01:13:25,815
I want something real.

1232
01:13:29,646 --> 01:13:30,727
Excuse me.

1233
01:13:31,565 --> 01:13:33,149
Excuse me.

1234
01:13:34,290 --> 01:13:35,599
Hey.

1235
01:13:35,862 --> 01:13:36,942
Do you still
wanna get out of here?

1236
01:13:37,013 --> 01:13:38,050
Yeah.

1237
01:13:38,701 --> 01:13:39,891
Sorry.

1238
01:13:39,968 --> 01:13:41,048
Good night, Your Majesty.

1239
01:13:42,423 --> 01:13:45,535
I didn't think I was touching
you inappropriately.

1240
01:13:45,607 --> 01:13:47,038
Well, you did.
And if we're to be together,

1241
01:13:47,104 --> 01:13:49,450
you must never ever do
anything like that ever again,

1242
01:13:49,522 --> 01:13:51,179
if we're to be together.

1243
01:13:51,938 --> 01:13:54,591
Even Prudence is getting some.

1244
01:14:01,799 --> 01:14:03,644
Are you ready?
Yes.

1245
01:14:09,970 --> 01:14:13,582
So Wattlesbrook got Nobley
to propose to me tonight.

1246
01:14:13,654 --> 01:14:14,767
Yeah. Classic.

1247
01:14:14,844 --> 01:14:15,923
Yup.

1248
01:14:15,995 --> 01:14:18,068
Is that when you
walked out? Just...

1249
01:14:18,182 --> 01:14:20,453
Man, what a tart.

1250
01:14:20,521 --> 01:14:21,711
Ah.

1251
01:14:22,440 --> 01:14:26,358
I have to admit his character
was pretty dreamy.

1252
01:14:27,082 --> 01:14:28,359
Yeah.

1253
01:14:29,155 --> 01:14:30,618
I wouldn't marry him.

1254
01:14:32,491 --> 01:14:34,795
Mainly because
he's got bad knees.

1255
01:14:34,871 --> 01:14:37,142
Bad knees?
Did he mention his knees?

1256
01:14:37,710 --> 01:14:39,522
I'm an even bigger nerd
than I thought, though.

1257
01:14:39,591 --> 01:14:42,317
I mean, there were
actual moments

1258
01:14:42,391 --> 01:14:44,618
when I really did
believe it was real.

1259
01:14:44,693 --> 01:14:48,185
Don't feel bad. I mean, Wattlesbrook
hires the best actors around.

1260
01:14:48,300 --> 01:14:49,729
Yeah.

1261
01:14:50,755 --> 01:14:51,716
And...

1262
01:14:53,248 --> 01:14:56,588
Some of her clients, you know,
aren't half bad either.

1263
01:15:01,612 --> 01:15:04,112
I'm so glad you're
outside of the fantasy.

1264
01:15:04,183 --> 01:15:06,607
Makes it easier to
walk away from it all.

1265
01:15:08,750 --> 01:15:10,364
You know my
flight leaves tomorrow,

1266
01:15:10,437 --> 01:15:12,815
but I could see if
I could change it.

1267
01:15:12,892 --> 01:15:14,934
Stay a few extra
days in London.

1268
01:15:18,571 --> 01:15:21,343
That's an offer I...
I'm not gonna refuse.

1269
01:15:23,366 --> 01:15:25,485
I fancy seeing you in...

1270
01:15:25,937 --> 01:15:28,436
I don't know,
some trousers or...

1271
01:15:29,007 --> 01:15:32,313
Do you wear anything
less 1800s, ever?

1272
01:15:32,384 --> 01:15:33,572
Do you?

1273
01:15:33,649 --> 01:15:36,224
Yeah, I do the short shorts.

1274
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:39,301
<i>Please bring
soiled petticoats and undergarments...</i>

1275
01:15:39,365 --> 01:15:41,102
Jane.
Lizzie.

1276
01:15:41,168 --> 01:15:42,828
Are you off?

1277
01:15:42,896 --> 01:15:44,859
I'm off.
I'm packing up.

1278
01:15:45,658 --> 01:15:47,962
Hey, you know,
I wanted to say just...

1279
01:15:48,419 --> 01:15:49,609
Thanks for everything.

1280
01:15:49,687 --> 01:15:51,727
And I made this for you.

1281
01:15:52,793 --> 01:15:54,332
All the sewing we did.

1282
01:15:54,406 --> 01:15:56,326
That's beautiful.

1283
01:15:56,938 --> 01:15:59,972
I think she's way prettier
than me, don't you think?

1284
01:16:02,309 --> 01:16:04,613
That's really
great needlepoint.

1285
01:16:04,956 --> 01:16:07,335
So what are you gonna do now?

1286
01:16:07,411 --> 01:16:09,792
I thought I would stay on

1287
01:16:09,866 --> 01:16:11,177
and check out all
the new recruits.

1288
01:16:11,249 --> 01:16:12,602
You know, make sure that

1289
01:16:12,669 --> 01:16:16,009
all of them know that
Colonel Andrews is taken.

1290
01:16:16,082 --> 01:16:20,306
And then I thought I would
ask Miss Wattlesbrook

1291
01:16:20,379 --> 01:16:22,758
if I can buy the place.

1292
01:16:22,836 --> 01:16:23,993
You should.

1293
01:16:24,062 --> 01:16:25,907
I know. I think I should.

1294
01:16:25,981 --> 01:16:28,601
Lizzie, you know, I think...

1295
01:16:28,668 --> 01:16:30,784
I think that Colonel Andrews...

1296
01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:35,001
I think he...
That he might be...

1297
01:16:39,948 --> 01:16:41,605
Perfect for you.

1298
01:16:42,210 --> 01:16:43,826
Jane, thank you.

1299
01:16:43,899 --> 01:16:46,932
I was so afraid you were gonna
say you thought he was gay.

1300
01:16:48,235 --> 01:16:49,587
Adieu.

1301
01:16:50,612 --> 01:16:51,998
Farewell.

1302
01:16:54,296 --> 01:16:58,213
God, that was
the best time so far.

1303
01:16:58,325 --> 01:17:00,137
Except for the eye gouging.

1304
01:17:00,243 --> 01:17:01,597
You're not British?

1305
01:17:01,663 --> 01:17:02,938
Yeah, I know, right?

1306
01:17:03,044 --> 01:17:06,505
Well, that's what two years of
private drama tutoring will get you.

1307
01:17:07,264 --> 01:17:08,879
You ended up
with Nobley, right?

1308
01:17:08,953 --> 01:17:11,146
He was such a bore,
but, you know...

1309
01:17:11,254 --> 01:17:13,252
He did a good job
of being into you.

1310
01:17:13,365 --> 01:17:15,667
He asked me to pretend
your cell phone was mine.

1311
01:17:17,355 --> 01:17:19,931
It's so sad when
the trip is over, but,

1312
01:17:20,078 --> 01:17:22,621
frankly, lam dying
for a massage.

1313
01:17:25,526 --> 01:17:26,880
My husband's old.

1314
01:17:28,366 --> 01:17:29,445
Very old.

1315
01:17:33,429 --> 01:17:35,427
And I trust you
discovered rewarding

1316
01:17:35,579 --> 01:17:37,576
romance with one
of the gentlemen?

1317
01:17:39,455 --> 01:17:42,564
Actually, there was someone,

1318
01:17:42,638 --> 01:17:45,673
but not Mr. Nobley,
as you may have intended.

1319
01:17:46,782 --> 01:17:48,823
My dear, Henry was
never meant for you.

1320
01:17:48,932 --> 01:17:51,856
No, his job was to take care
of Lady Heartwright

1321
01:17:51,924 --> 01:17:54,302
until George East
finished his little show.

1322
01:17:54,840 --> 01:17:57,796
No, Martin was scripted for you
right from the very beginning.

1323
01:18:00,479 --> 01:18:01,908
No, but he's...

1324
01:18:02,857 --> 01:18:03,818
Martin's a servant.

1325
01:18:05,276 --> 01:18:08,079
Well, you've seen my servants.

1326
01:18:08,728 --> 01:18:12,372
I had to take him out just for a
little while because things were

1327
01:18:13,179 --> 01:18:14,608
steaming up.

1328
01:18:14,905 --> 01:18:18,135
But I had every confidence
that he could woo you back.

1329
01:18:18,204 --> 01:18:20,169
And your timing
was very fortunate.

1330
01:18:20,239 --> 01:18:22,584
Most of the ladies just
get a litter of kittens.

1331
01:18:22,846 --> 01:18:25,542
The foal is the showstopper.

1332
01:18:26,145 --> 01:18:27,652
The foal?

1333
01:18:27,720 --> 01:18:30,491
I trust you would like
to be on your way, Jane?

1334
01:18:31,173 --> 01:18:32,361
More than ever.

1335
01:18:32,477 --> 01:18:33,667
Are you upset?

1336
01:18:34,281 --> 01:18:35,744
No, not at all.

1337
01:18:35,815 --> 01:18:38,741
And please don't take it
personally when I shut you down.

1338
01:18:38,808 --> 01:18:39,845
Shut me down?

1339
01:18:39,920 --> 01:18:42,770
I wasn't the first guest
Mr. Wattlesbrook assaulted, was I?

1340
01:18:42,835 --> 01:18:45,564
I should be able to find
other complaints in no time.

1341
01:18:45,638 --> 01:18:46,642
But...

1342
01:18:55,611 --> 01:18:57,228
<i>♪ Bright eyes</i>

1343
01:18:57,339 --> 01:19:00,570
<i>♪ Every now and then
I fall apart ♪</i>

1344
01:19:00,637 --> 01:19:01,827
Wow, Nobley, eh?

1345
01:19:02,940 --> 01:19:05,942
Tied your cravat just a wee
bit too tight, didn't you?

1346
01:19:07,123 --> 01:19:09,197
To be honest, I can't believe
you didn't get Jane.

1347
01:19:09,271 --> 01:19:11,617
I mean, she was...
She was anyone's.

1348
01:19:13,030 --> 01:19:14,767
Whoa!

1349
01:19:25,539 --> 01:19:26,814
Mad dog over there.

1350
01:19:28,416 --> 01:19:30,490
Colonel Andrews speaking.
Yes.

1351
01:19:31,025 --> 01:19:33,448
Yes, no. I'll tell
him right away. Yes.

1352
01:19:34,784 --> 01:19:38,201
Yes. Yes, you have a good day.
Of course. Bye-bye.

1353
01:19:38,967 --> 01:19:41,161
Martin, that was the old girl
back at the house.

1354
01:19:41,231 --> 01:19:42,845
Appears you're
still on the clock.

1355
01:19:42,918 --> 01:19:47,033
You're to go to the airport and
smooth some ruffled feathers pronto.

1356
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:50,445
No rest for the gorgeous.

1357
01:19:54,505 --> 01:19:57,430
Hi. No luggage. No.

1358
01:20:03,291 --> 01:20:05,441
<i>This is
a passenger announcement.</i>

1359
01:20:05,517 --> 01:20:09,664
<i>Can Jane Erstwhile please
report to the information desk?</i>

1360
01:20:09,736 --> 01:20:12,661
<i>That's Jane Erstwhile
to the information desk.</i>

1361
01:20:21,323 --> 01:20:22,633
Hi, I think they...

1362
01:20:22,706 --> 01:20:23,938
Jane. Hey.

1363
01:20:24,087 --> 01:20:27,088
I'm really sorry
you didn't know, okay?

1364
01:20:27,577 --> 01:20:30,198
I'd still like to spend
the night together. Yeah?

1365
01:20:32,106 --> 01:20:34,024
You are an actor!

1366
01:20:34,751 --> 01:20:36,182
Hey. Hey, but...

1367
01:20:36,248 --> 01:20:38,824
But you're desperately
in love with me anyway?

1368
01:20:38,896 --> 01:20:41,821
And these sudden passionate feelings
that sent you running after me

1369
01:20:41,889 --> 01:20:44,615
have nothing to do with
Mrs. Wattlesbrook's fear

1370
01:20:44,689 --> 01:20:46,118
that I'm gonna report
her delinquent husband?

1371
01:20:46,186 --> 01:20:48,073
Of course not. Okay?
Right.

1372
01:20:48,143 --> 01:20:49,606
I know it all seems shady,
but romances

1373
01:20:49,715 --> 01:20:51,713
have bloomed on stonier ground.

1374
01:20:53,053 --> 01:20:56,316
Did Wattlesbrook write that line?
Because we know you didn't.

1375
01:20:56,814 --> 01:20:58,505
Okay, she wrote the line. Okay?
Right.

1376
01:20:58,578 --> 01:21:00,270
But I'm the one
standing here saying it.

1377
01:21:00,497 --> 01:21:01,456
Jane!

1378
01:21:01,992 --> 01:21:04,185
Jolly good, the prefect's
here to save the day.

1379
01:21:04,256 --> 01:21:06,603
You can't believe
anything he's said.

1380
01:21:06,674 --> 01:21:08,976
I've only just realized now that
Martin was assigned to you.

1381
01:21:09,052 --> 01:21:10,787
I know. I... Yeah.

1382
01:21:10,856 --> 01:21:12,133
She knows, so...

1383
01:21:12,236 --> 01:21:13,929
So, what are you doing here?

1384
01:21:14,232 --> 01:21:16,273
It's just that
I don't think you understand

1385
01:21:16,342 --> 01:21:18,307
that I'm not
what you think I am.

1386
01:21:18,375 --> 01:21:20,263
I have fallen for you.
Right.

1387
01:21:20,448 --> 01:21:22,139
My aunt was an actor, sure.

1388
01:21:22,213 --> 01:21:25,553
She's an odd woman, I know,
but she was desperate.

1389
01:21:25,626 --> 01:21:27,089
What I'm saying is
that your first week

1390
01:21:27,200 --> 01:21:28,629
at the manor was
my first week, too.

1391
01:21:28,812 --> 01:21:30,318
I'm not an actor.

1392
01:21:30,384 --> 01:21:32,043
Don't listen to him, Janey.

1393
01:21:32,112 --> 01:21:35,067
Don't call me Janey!
You were paid to kiss me.

1394
01:21:35,141 --> 01:21:37,947
As far as you are concerned,
lam Miss Erstwhile.

1395
01:21:38,019 --> 01:21:39,984
I mean, it's so embarrassing.

1396
01:21:40,054 --> 01:21:41,821
What, do you keep
a supply of pregnant horses

1397
01:21:41,895 --> 01:21:43,630
just laying
around or something?

1398
01:21:43,698 --> 01:21:45,661
What?
You're not a vet!

1399
01:21:45,731 --> 01:21:47,237
I did a biology
class at school.

1400
01:21:47,304 --> 01:21:48,493
Come on, you were acting, too.

1401
01:21:48,569 --> 01:21:50,076
Look, before you go
and make your report,

1402
01:21:50,950 --> 01:21:52,488
you should know, gorgeous,

1403
01:21:53,827 --> 01:21:55,714
that what we had was real.

1404
01:21:56,091 --> 01:21:58,818
No, you didn't. What we
had was real. Didn't we?

1405
01:21:59,427 --> 01:22:04,350
Surely you felt it seeping through
all these costumes and pretense?

1406
01:22:04,416 --> 01:22:06,074
He's still acting.
It's all part of his act.

1407
01:22:06,181 --> 01:22:07,872
See the costume?
He's an actor.

1408
01:22:07,946 --> 01:22:09,529
You're just jealous,
aren't you?

1409
01:22:09,594 --> 01:22:11,058
Because my aunt
would rather bring in

1410
01:22:11,129 --> 01:22:13,279
a complete novice
than move some

1411
01:22:13,355 --> 01:22:15,548
Kiwi actor up to the big house.

1412
01:22:15,735 --> 01:22:17,010
You're not British either?

1413
01:22:17,077 --> 01:22:18,114
It's part of the Commonwealth.

1414
01:22:18,229 --> 01:22:19,265
<i>Couldn't you get
a job on The Hobbit?</i>

1415
01:22:19,726 --> 01:22:21,078
That's it, Shakespeare.

1416
01:22:21,374 --> 01:22:22,333
No!

1417
01:22:23,178 --> 01:22:24,793
You guys.

1418
01:22:24,865 --> 01:22:26,907
Just... Don't actually,
actually strangle him.

1419
01:22:26,976 --> 01:22:28,362
Okay. All right, all right.

1420
01:22:28,434 --> 01:22:29,743
Take that, England.

1421
01:22:29,815 --> 01:22:31,201
Careful of my shirt!

1422
01:22:31,273 --> 01:22:32,658
That's my foot!

1423
01:22:32,770 --> 01:22:35,923
Okay, okay.
No, no, no. I'm...

1424
01:22:35,992 --> 01:22:37,301
Stop! No.

1425
01:22:37,411 --> 01:22:41,253
No! It is over.
I am done with all of this!

1426
01:22:42,976 --> 01:22:45,779
That felt good. I should have
done that a long time ago.

1427
01:22:45,891 --> 01:22:47,167
Yeah.

1428
01:22:47,617 --> 01:22:49,124
Excuse me.

1429
01:22:49,727 --> 01:22:51,266
Did you hear that, England?

1430
01:22:51,340 --> 01:22:53,609
I am officially over it!

1431
01:22:55,330 --> 01:22:58,101
<i>Southwest Airlines
flight SA435 now boarding at Gate 20.</i>

1432
01:22:58,168 --> 01:22:59,400
That's my cue to exit.

1433
01:22:59,472 --> 01:23:00,858
Boys,

1434
01:23:00,930 --> 01:23:03,506
it has been a pleasure.

1435
01:23:03,578 --> 01:23:05,727
Thank you for
that and I'm sorry.

1436
01:23:06,992 --> 01:23:11,597
Look, Jane, Jane, Jane, wait, wait.
Hey, I never lied to you.

1437
01:23:14,665 --> 01:23:17,165
It doesn't even matter
that you weren't real.

1438
01:23:17,697 --> 01:23:21,231
You were perfect. Thank you.

1439
01:23:26,828 --> 01:23:30,440
<i>♪ Somewhere there's a light</i>

1440
01:23:31,585 --> 01:23:35,732
<i>♪ That meets a shoreless tide</i>

1441
01:23:36,802 --> 01:23:40,186
<i>♪ But I guess I'm resigned</i>

1442
01:23:41,715 --> 01:23:45,249
<i>♪ To never seeing mine</i>

1443
01:23:46,663 --> 01:23:50,308
<i>♪ I never lied</i>

1444
01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:55,034
<i>♪ All these teenage dreams</i>

1445
01:23:56,678 --> 01:24:00,519
<i>♪ Put them all aside</i>

1446
01:24:01,397 --> 01:24:04,966
<i>♪ They hurt like kryptonite</i>

1447
01:24:25,835 --> 01:24:31,141
<i>♪ And you lost a piece of me ♪</i>

1448
01:24:31,208 --> 01:24:33,171
<i>You're back?
Hello to you, too.</i>

1449
01:24:33,241 --> 01:24:34,593
<i>I'm coming over.</i>

1450
01:24:34,660 --> 01:24:35,938
All right,
I'll see you in a minute.

1451
01:25:06,235 --> 01:25:08,583
That was quick. Come on in.

1452
01:25:15,290 --> 01:25:17,027
Do you want some tea?

1453
01:25:17,631 --> 01:25:18,789
Love a cup, thank you.

1454
01:25:20,470 --> 01:25:22,054
What are you doing here?

1455
01:25:23,079 --> 01:25:24,618
Well...

1456
01:25:27,722 --> 01:25:28,956
You left this.

1457
01:25:32,479 --> 01:25:33,909
Thanks.

1458
01:25:35,318 --> 01:25:37,011
You could've mailed it.

1459
01:25:39,001 --> 01:25:40,355
I...

1460
01:25:41,995 --> 01:25:43,348
I could have.

1461
01:25:44,988 --> 01:25:46,264
You're right.

1462
01:25:47,595 --> 01:25:49,255
What was I thinking?

1463
01:25:57,033 --> 01:25:59,031
Wait a minute. Hey.

1464
01:26:00,526 --> 01:26:02,797
You know, I'm not
gonna report your aunt.

1465
01:26:03,249 --> 01:26:06,173
So it was a little overkill
to send you all the way here.

1466
01:26:06,856 --> 01:26:07,861
She didn't send me.

1467
01:26:08,774 --> 01:26:12,507
Mr. Nobley, or whoever
you actually are.

1468
01:26:12,574 --> 01:26:13,806
My name is Henry.

1469
01:26:15,183 --> 01:26:16,764
It's Henry Nobley.

1470
01:26:16,831 --> 01:26:18,981
I'm a history professor.
Oh.

1471
01:26:21,435 --> 01:26:22,472
That's really nice.

1472
01:26:22,547 --> 01:26:26,313
I used to think my aunt's
profession was somewhat grotesque,

1473
01:26:26,386 --> 01:26:28,688
but the truth is that I enjoyed
stepping into history.

1474
01:26:28,802 --> 01:26:30,875
The idea of
a simpler world where

1475
01:26:31,602 --> 01:26:34,177
love is straightforward
and lasting.

1476
01:26:34,250 --> 01:26:36,095
I believe we have
that in common.

1477
01:26:37,704 --> 01:26:39,744
But all of this is
secondary to the fact

1478
01:26:39,814 --> 01:26:42,967
that I am completely
mad about you.

1479
01:26:43,842 --> 01:26:45,228
All right.
Well you

1480
01:26:45,301 --> 01:26:48,149
may have been mad
about Miss Erstwhile, but...

1481
01:26:48,217 --> 01:26:50,180
You don't even know me. I...

1482
01:26:50,749 --> 01:26:52,516
You are Miss Erstwhile.

1483
01:26:53,280 --> 01:26:55,582
I saw you in the theatrical.
You were horrifying.

1484
01:26:55,659 --> 01:26:58,965
Wait a minute. You were
horrifying. I was...

1485
01:26:59,496 --> 01:27:00,500
I wasn't great.

1486
01:27:00,646 --> 01:27:01,684
My point exactly.

1487
01:27:01,758 --> 01:27:04,139
Neither one of us are
capable of pretending.

1488
01:27:04,406 --> 01:27:05,990
Nobley, I just
don't think this is a...

1489
01:27:06,057 --> 01:27:09,013
The night of the ball, you said
you wanted something real.

1490
01:27:09,125 --> 01:27:10,970
I'd like to
believe that I am real.

1491
01:27:12,003 --> 01:27:13,586
Is it possible that

1492
01:27:14,535 --> 01:27:16,379
someone like me
can make you happy?

1493
01:27:17,796 --> 01:27:19,182
Will you let me try?

1494
01:27:25,125 --> 01:27:26,477
No. See,
people don't do this.

1495
01:27:26,544 --> 01:27:28,891
I mean, this is my fantasy.
This isn't...

1496
01:27:28,961 --> 01:27:30,118
Have you stopped
to consider that

1497
01:27:30,188 --> 01:27:32,034
you might have
this all backward?

1498
01:27:32,108 --> 01:27:33,537
Jane...

1499
01:27:35,024 --> 01:27:37,064
You are my fantasy.

1500
01:27:50,639 --> 01:27:52,068
Tally-ho.

1501
01:27:52,942 --> 01:27:54,327
Tally-ho.

1502
01:28:21,447 --> 01:28:24,526
Welcome to Austenland.

1503
01:28:28,354 --> 01:28:31,922
Hello, everybody.
Enjoy yourselves.

1504
01:28:33,647 --> 01:28:36,343
Oh, my goodness. Hello.

1505
01:28:40,208 --> 01:28:41,595
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1506
01:28:42,549 --> 01:28:45,431
<i>♪ If you lived in
a world of love</i>

1507
01:28:45,887 --> 01:28:48,081
<i>♪ Would you forget
who you were?</i>

1508
01:28:48,152 --> 01:28:52,113
<i>♪ Before you get taken in
by a sight of hand</i>

1509
01:28:52,178 --> 01:28:56,293
<i>♪ You've got to watch
your step In Austenland</i>

1510
01:29:00,467 --> 01:29:02,813
Move, move, move!
Movey, move!

1511
01:29:02,883 --> 01:29:06,036
Honey, honey.
No touchy, no touchy.

1512
01:29:07,680 --> 01:29:09,219
Georgie.

1513
01:29:09,290 --> 01:29:10,719
Georgie!

1514
01:29:11,670 --> 01:29:13,481
Get off it.

1515
01:29:15,698 --> 01:29:18,469
I love you,
Captain! Georgie!

1516
01:29:20,648 --> 01:29:23,572
<i>♪ "I know I feel that way too"</i>

1517
01:29:25,060 --> 01:29:26,980
That's a very sexy bonnet.

1518
01:29:27,054 --> 01:29:28,408
Knob off.

1519
01:29:34,652 --> 01:29:37,456
...and we lost the whole thing because...
Just leave me alone!

1520
01:29:38,065 --> 01:29:40,489
This is truly my fantasy.

1521
01:29:42,823 --> 01:29:46,130
<i>♪ You can bend your soul
bend your back, your heart</i>

1522
01:29:46,200 --> 01:29:50,422
<i>♪ So if you're gonna play
then you better play hard</i>

1523
01:29:53,949 --> 01:29:56,068
<i>♪ Austenland won't you come</i>

1524
01:29:56,135 --> 01:30:00,130
<i>♪ Where the sun shines
on your face?</i>

1525
01:30:01,010 --> 01:30:06,193
<i>♪ Austenland take your
dancing partner by the waist</i>

1526
01:30:08,069 --> 01:30:10,218
<i>♪ Oh, with your heart
in your hand</i>

1527
01:30:10,293 --> 01:30:14,746
<i>♪ Now you try and catch her
gaze and say "Who, me?"</i>

1528
01:30:14,975 --> 01:30:17,702
<i>♪ "I know
I feel that way too" ♪</i>

1529
01:30:25,449 --> 01:30:27,217
<i>♪ Come on, a little bit
of hot, hot</i>

1530
01:30:27,292 --> 01:30:28,677
<i>♪ And a little bit of hot, hot</i>

1531
01:30:31,704 --> 01:30:33,089
<i>♪ Just a little bit of</i>

1532
01:30:34,388 --> 01:30:35,699
<i>♪ Just a little bit of</i>

1533
01:30:36,000 --> 01:30:37,463
<i>♪ Just a little bit of</i>

1534
01:30:37,726 --> 01:30:40,880
<i>♪ I was like, good gracious,
ass is bodacious</i>

1535
01:30:40,949 --> 01:30:42,870
<i>♪ Flirtatious,
trying to show faces</i>

1536
01:30:42,945 --> 01:30:45,062
<i>♪ I'm waiting for the right
time to shoot my steez you know</i>

1537
01:30:45,132 --> 01:30:47,554
<i>♪ Waiting for the right
time to flash them ki's,</i>

1538
01:30:47,625 --> 01:30:49,971
<i>♪ I'm leaving,
please believing</i>

1539
01:30:50,042 --> 01:30:51,701
<i>♪ Me and the rest
of my heathens</i>

1540
01:30:51,768 --> 01:30:53,766
<i>♪ Check it, got it locked at
the top of the Four Seasons</i>

1541
01:30:53,880 --> 01:30:56,073
<i>♪ Penthouse, roof top,
birds I'm feeding</i>

1542
01:30:56,142 --> 01:30:58,489
<i>♪ No deceiving,
nothing up my sleeve and</i>

1543
01:30:58,599 --> 01:31:00,366
<i>♪ No teasing I need you to</i>

1544
01:31:00,478 --> 01:31:02,627
<i>♪ Get up up on the dance floor</i>

1545
01:31:02,703 --> 01:31:04,852
<i>♪ Give that man
what he asking for</i>

1546
01:31:04,929 --> 01:31:06,663
<i>♪ 'Cause I feel
like busting loose</i>

1547
01:31:06,731 --> 01:31:08,424
<i>♪ And I feel like touching you</i>

1548
01:31:09,341 --> 01:31:11,152
<i>♪ And can't nobody
stop the juice</i>

1549
01:31:11,221 --> 01:31:12,760
<i>♪ So baby tell me
what's the use?</i>

1550
01:31:12,832 --> 01:31:15,484
<i>♪ I said
It's getting hot in here</i>

1551
01:31:15,557 --> 01:31:18,022
<i>♪ So hot
♪ So take off all your clothes</i>

1552
01:31:18,088 --> 01:31:22,693
<i>♪ I am getting so hot
I wanna take my clothes off</i>

1553
01:31:22,769 --> 01:31:24,581
<i>♪ It's getting hot in here</i>

1554
01:31:24,649 --> 01:31:26,995
<i>♪ So hot
♪ So take off all your clothes</i>

1555
01:31:27,066 --> 01:31:31,442
<i>♪ I am getting so hot
I wanna take my clothes off</i>

1556
01:31:31,633 --> 01:31:33,246
<i>♪ I like it when you ♪
Ah, ah</i>

1557
01:31:33,320 --> 01:31:34,904
<i>♪ Girl, baby make it
♪ Ah, ah ♪</i>