1 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,200 Mozart found his calling at age five... 2 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,120 composing his first minuet. 3 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,960 Picasso discovered his talent for painting... 4 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,240 - when he was nine. - Oh. Thanks. 5 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,160 - Oh! - Tiger Woods swung his first club... 6 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,160 well before his second birthday. 7 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,480 Me? I was eight when I discovered my purpose in life. 8 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:13,680 I was at the St. Thomas Church next to the Hyatt Regency in Weehawken, New Jersey. 9 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,040 It was my cousin Lisa's wedding. 10 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,240 Here, Dad. Let me. 11 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,000 It was our first big family event since Mom died... 12 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,960 and Dad was not in great shape. 13 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,360 Daddy, can you take me to the girls' room? I have to go pee. 14 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,400 Uh, come on, Tess. Let's go. 15 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,800 Shit! Oh, shit! 16 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,120 - Oh,Janey, I'm sorry. - It's okay. We have cable. 17 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,920 What'll I do? What the f-- 18 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,640 The heck am I gonna do? 19 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,920 Thank you so much, sweetie. You saved the day. 20 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,400 Janey, get my train. 21 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:18,080 And that was the moment. That's when I fell in love with weddings. 22 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,040 I knew that I had helped someone on the most important day of their life. 23 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,360 And I couldn't wait for my own special day. 24 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:30,000 Oh,Jane, that's stunning. It really is. It's the perfect dress. 25 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,920 Oh, my God. You look so beautiful. 26 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,480 Really? You really think so? 27 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,120 It's amazing, like it was made for you. 28 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,440 - It's for you. It's the bride. - Oh, great. 29 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,360 Thank you. Hi, Suzanne. 30 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,520 -Jane, is it ready? - Yeah. They just finished hemming it. 31 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,520 - It fits? - I know. Thank God we're the same size. 32 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,920 - Are you coming now? - I'm gonna have it over to you in just a minute. 33 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,320 - Don't worry about anything. This is your day. - Thanks,Jane. 34 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,160 Come on. Get that out of here. 35 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,920 There you are! You look great. 36 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,920 - Thanks! - Okay. Let's go. Come on. 37 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,800 Oh. Here. 38 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,680 - What's this? - I brought you a shawl, Visine, Tylenol... 39 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,680 - a pair of my earrings. - Ooh. 40 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,840 - About your hair-- - What? The bitch said, "Up." It's up. 41 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,040 Okay. I'll fix it inside. 42 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,080 What's all this stuff? 43 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,760 Let's just hurry. 44 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,880 Aren't the dresses great? The best thing about them is... 45 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,760 -you can shorten them and wear them again. - Definitely. So true. 46 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,160 Give me a smile. 47 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,440 Okay. Excuse me. On the right- 48 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,600 We are gathered here today to celebrate the union... 49 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,080 of Suzanne and Greg. 50 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,960 This is a time of great joy... 51 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,480 as we honor two people who have come together... 52 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,680 to be joined in holy matrimony. 53 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,600 - Oh, wow. - Sorry. 54 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:03,000 Taxi! 55 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,280 Great. 56 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,720 Thanks. 31 Water Street. Brooklyn. 57 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,560 Okay. I will give you $300 flat... 58 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,560 - for the whole night on one condition-- - Yeah. 59 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,760 You don't look in the rear view mirror or I deduct. 60 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,760 - Deal? Great. - Yeah. 61 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,480 What are you doing? 62 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,640 Hey. You just cost yourself 20 bucks. 63 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,960 I-- No one's looking. 64 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,000 I'll be right back. 65 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,840 Thank God you're here. I'm freakin' out. 66 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,960 - I forgot my thingy. - Oh! Um-- 67 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,880 I brought extra. No worries. 68 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,680 - Perfect. - Thank you. 69 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,760 - Hi! - Hi! 70 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,920 Are these dresses great? And the best thing is you could shorten it and wear it again. 71 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,840 That is definitely so true. 72 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,960 We gather here today to join in holy matrimony... 73 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,080 - Shari Rabinowitz-- - And Prakash Maharasti... 74 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,440 known to his friends as "Woody." 75 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:17,240 Shari and Prakash are so happy that so many of you are here today- 76 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,040 What are you doing? Get in the car! Come on! 77 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,040 Go! Go! Go! 78 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,760 - You in? - Yeah. 79 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,560 Hey! Hey! You are down to 260. 80 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,040 Are you sure you wanna keep this up? 81 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,640 - No! - Okay, then. 82 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,800 Okay. Which one do you want? The brunet or the blond? 83 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,800 I kinda want the blond. I'm not gonna lie. 84 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,880 Casey, can't you keep it in your pants for one wedding? 85 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,520 Are you kidding? The only reason to wear this monstrous dress... 86 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,160 is so some drunken groomsman can rip it to shreds with his teeth. 87 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:58,080 What time is it now? Well, I'm just gonna be about two more hours, so-- 88 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,160 I'll call you back. 89 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,360 Holy-- 90 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,040 Whoo! 91 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,720 Whoo! 92 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,760 Whoo! Whoo! 93 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,720 #Lovely is the feeling now # 94 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:31,400 Hey! Wrong shoes! Wait a minute. Wrong shoes. 95 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,440 Ziggy! What? 96 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,360 # Temperature's rising now # 97 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,160 - Ha! - #Power # 98 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,400 Oh! Geez! 99 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,280 Jane, I'm so hungry. Did you eat anything? 100 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,320 - Oh, yeah. - It looks gorgeous. I haven't eaten anything. 101 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,320 And let me give you some advice, do not drink Moet on an empty stomach. 102 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,240 I'll tell ya. Whoa. Fall right off. 103 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,320 - Did you meet my grandma? - Yeah. She was great. I really enjoyed her. 104 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,440 - I think she's having fun. - Oh, yeah. Lots. 105 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,160 #Don't stop till you get enough # 106 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,880 - #Keep on with the force # - Whoo-hoo! 107 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,920 - #Don't stop till you get enough # - #Keep on, baby # 108 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:16,080 #Don't stop till you get enough ## 109 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,880 -Jane, what is that thing on your forehead? - Oh. 110 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,360 I'd like to take a moment to give a special thank-you to a girl... 111 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,040 who's really gone above and beyond. 112 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,680 The girl who not only hosted my shower and helped me design the invitation-- 113 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,720 She went with me to the caterer, the florist, the wedding cake bakery- 114 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:36,160 And to eight bridal stores... 115 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,520 where she helped me cling to my self-esteem-- 116 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,600 As I tried on dress after dress. 117 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,080 So thanks,Jane! 118 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,640 Thanks,Jane. 119 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,320 Okay! Everybody ready? 120 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,920 Is she all right? 121 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,280 Is she all right? 122 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,400 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy.Just take it easy. 123 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,960 You don't wanna move around too much. Okay. This is a serious injury. 124 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,160 I need you to give me some ice. You, give me a bottle of 100-proof liquor... 125 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,000 and something she can bite on-- stat! 126 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,400 All right. She's fine, folks. 127 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,760 Just a little bump on the head. Carry on. 128 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,840 You a doctor? 129 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,280 No, but Tweedledee and "Tweedledrunk" were bugging me, so-- 130 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,000 - Okay. Do you know your name? -Jane. 131 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,200 Jane. I'm Kevin. 132 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,520 Hmm. Thank you for helping me. 133 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,440 - Sure. Got it? - Uh-huh. 134 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,360 - Okay. You're good? - I'm fine. 135 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,840 All right. 136 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,280 Whoa, whoa. Okay. Why don't we get you a cab? 137 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,120 All right. Nice and easy. Let's walk. 138 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,920 # That I'm irresponsibly mad # 139 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,160 #For you ## 140 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,760 I loved your thong, by the way. 141 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,440 You buzzed past me earlier. I saw you changing gowns. 142 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,840 You were in two weddings in one night, weren't you? 143 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,320 - That's a little upsetting, don't you think? - They're both good friends... 144 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,720 and their weddings happened to be on the same night, so what was I supposed to do? 145 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,160 Oh, no. That's not the upsetting part. How do you stand it? 146 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,640 - I mean, isn't one wedding bad enough? - I love weddings. I always have. 147 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,200 - Really? - Yeah. 148 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,400 Which part, the forced merriment, horrible music or bad food? 149 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,680 Actually, it's meeting upbeat people like yourself. 150 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,720 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love means slowly losing your mind. 151 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,720 - What is it you do again? - I'm a writer. 152 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,640 Right. 153 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,400 - This is my building. - I got it. 154 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,320 - No. I got it. - Sure? 155 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,480 Yeah. 156 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,840 All right, sweetie. A hundred and forty. You know what you did. 157 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,560 Hey! What's-- No. He's gonna be right back. Hold on. 158 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,560 Don't you think it's a whole lot of ritual for something that-- 159 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,720 Let's face it-- It's got about a 50-50 shot of making it out of the gate. 160 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,880 How very refreshing. A man who doesn't believe in marriage. 161 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,320 - I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle. - Oh. 162 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,320 That's so noble of you. Do you also go around... 163 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,280 telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 164 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,200 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open. 165 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,560 So you admit that believing in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus. 166 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,800 No. I-- 167 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,920 I don't know why I'm arguing this with a perfect stranger. 168 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,680 But, yes, marriage, like everything good and important, isn't easy. 169 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,400 Cynicism, on the other hand, always is. 170 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,120 - It was very interesting meeting you. - Bye. 171 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,360 Yeah. 172 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,400 You gonna be in more weddings next weekend? 173 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,760 - I have to go. - How many have you been in, by the way? 174 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,560 - Just, like, ballpark. - Good night. 175 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,960 - Hey, you know what? Could you-- - Yeah? 176 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,720 - Forget it. - Yup. 177 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,360 Okay. 178 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:56,200 Death. Destruction. Wedding vows. Yea. 179 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,160 Come to mama. 180 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,160 Oh. 181 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,560 Jeter hit a walk-off in the ninth. Did you see it? 182 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,600 Uh, no. I work Saturday nights, remember? 183 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,560 - Here. From the happy couple. - Oh, that's right. 184 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:32,800 You were eating coconut cake and doing the Electric Slide. 185 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,800 - So how'd it go? - Oh, let's see. 186 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,280 The bride wore a gown that sparkled like the groom's eyes... 187 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,560 as he saw her approaching through a shower of rose petals. 188 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,800 And you're not getting laid? 189 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,080 Commitments is the gold standard of wedding announcements. 190 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,840 Every girl on the planet rips open that page, first thing Sunday. 191 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,040 Brides kill to get in there. 192 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,040 Do you have any idea what you can be doin'? 193 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,240 - You mean to women who are about to get married? - Yeah. 194 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,160 They won't call you. They won't bother you. 195 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,040 They will pretend they never even met you. You can't beat that. 196 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,320 Well, it's not gonna matter much longer anyway. 197 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,640 - You're looking at my ticket out of the taffeta ghetto. - Keep on dreaming. 198 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,600 - Uh, go away. - Yes. Okay. 199 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,520 What? I wasn't gonna come to work in my bridesmaid dress. 200 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,800 Two-day walk of shame outfit. Elegant. 201 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,600 What happened to you the other night? 202 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,240 You were barely there, and then you disappeared. 203 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,960 - You meet someone? - Come on. No. 204 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,920 Oh. Ridiculous question. 205 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,080 - Good morning, Gina. - Hi. 206 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,720 - You haven't seen my Filofax anywhere, have you? - No. 207 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,760 No. Okay. I'll go look for it. 208 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,560 - Did you get those catalog pages in for George? - No. 209 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,080 Okay. No worries. I'll get them from production. 210 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,240 Attagirl. Show her who's boss. 211 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,640 - I'm not her boss. - You're the boss's assistant. 212 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,600 Same diff. What's the good of your job if you can't abuse the power? 213 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,600 - Casey, go to Accounting. - Now you're bossy. 214 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,040 Where the hell did I put that thing? 215 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,840 That is a great idea for the front page of the section. 216 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,360 Oh, come on, Doyle. How many times have I heard this from you? 217 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,360 - I'm telling you, Maureen. It's a great idea. - Really? 218 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,600 As great as your last great idea, an expose on price-fixing at wedding bakeries? 219 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,320 Yes! Yes! They're ripping people off. Flour costs pennies per ounce. 220 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,680 That's an 8000/0 markup. It's outrageous. 221 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,840 Yes, it is. Also, no one cares. 222 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,920 What about the piece I wanted to do on the exploitation of workers in lace factories? 223 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,840 - That is a killer piece. - Oh, right. 224 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,320 That's what people really wanna read about in the Style section. 225 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,280 Kevin, this section practically pays for the entire paper. 226 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,520 Our advertisers want fun, upbeat, colorful human-interest stories... 227 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,320 - opposite their products. - So that's what we're about now? Making money? 228 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,040 - Get out. - All right. Listen. That was not right. 229 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,120 I get it. But this one is. Look, this woman... 230 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,240 - has been in seven weddings-- - So? 231 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,960 This year. She was in two on Saturday alone. 232 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,120 But it won't just be about her. 233 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,120 It'll be an incisive look at how the wedding industry has transformed something... 234 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,320 that should be an important rite of passage into nothing more than a corporate revenue stream. 235 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,360 In a fun, upbeat, you know, cheerful way. 236 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,880 Look, Maureen, I am dying back there in Commitments. 237 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,960 If I have to write another sentence about baby's breath, I'm gonna shoot myself. 238 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,960 This is a real story. This is what I wanna do. 239 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,600 I need you covering weddings. That's what you're good at. 240 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,600 And that's what I need you to do. 241 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,240 If you don't start giving me feature stories, I'm gonna have to quit. 242 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:27,560 One chance. If I don't like it, you go back to Commitments for the rest of your life... 243 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,320 with a big smile on that ridiculously handsome face of yours. 244 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,160 Deal. 245 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,880 - You think he'll like these? - Yes, I do. 246 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,800 I think those photos for the fall catalog will cause George to take you into his office... 247 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:44,600 - and make sweet love to you for hours and hours. - Shh! Casey. 248 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,240 Tell me that crazy crush is the reason you work as hard as you do, 'cause it's upsetting. 249 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,360 -Just like my job. Okay? - No. You just think that one day... 250 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,640 George is gonna wake up and realize that he is madly in love with you... 251 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,400 - and he's gonna make some spectacular gesture of love-- - Flowers for Jane Nichols. 252 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,960 Yeah. That's me. Thank you. 253 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,840 That's great. I spent two days in bed with a guy, and you get flowers. 254 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,920 - Nice. - There's no note. 255 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,040 Oh,Jane. You don't seriously think they're from your dream guy, do you? 256 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,120 Gina, can you take these to my desk for me? 257 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,520 - Sure. No problem. - Thank you. 258 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,840 Would you please stop saying that? Nobody knows. 259 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,880 Everybody knows,Jane, except George. 260 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,320 It's true. 261 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:27,600 Gatsby! Hi, buddy. Hi! 262 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,440 Whoa! Come on, Gatsby. No slobbering on the ladies. 263 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,560 Hi. 264 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,720 - How was it? - It was phenomenal. Up and back... 265 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,000 in 10 hours-- our best time yet. 266 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,040 Isn't that, like, the eighth time you climbed Mount Whitney? 267 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,120 - How do you remember that stuff,Jane? - I don't know. 268 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,600 - So we just got these in. What do you think? - I think they're too corporate. 269 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,200 That's what I was thinking. They don't have enough of a feel of being- 270 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,480 Outdoors. Right. I mean, there's no adventure. 271 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,960 There's no danger. Plus, everyone looks way too put together. 272 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,200 Yeah. Like models. Got it. I will talk to Marketing. 273 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,120 See? That's why I keep you around,Jane. 274 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,440 I mean, who else could finish my sentences? 275 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,360 Your design meeting is at 11:00. 276 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,280 And the 92nd Street Y called to confirm that you'll be attending their benefit. 277 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,280 - You wanna go? - Do I have to make a speech? 278 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,360 Just a few words about ecologically responsible business practices. 279 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,360 Something light and fun. You in? 280 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,360 Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Put it on the calendar... 281 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,680 but I'm probably gonna need to dig up a date for that, huh? 282 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,360 - Yeah. Probably. - At least that's the one thing in my life... 283 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,240 -you don't have to take care of for me, right? - Yeah. 284 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,320 Oh, my... God! 285 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,360 - Leave me alone. - Jane! 286 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,280 - Yeah? - Did you put that breakfast burrito on my desk? 287 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,200 I just thought you might be hungry. 288 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,280 That's why I love ya. 289 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,200 I love you too. 290 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,360 Oh! Yeah. 291 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,400 Yeah. You're right. I needed that. 292 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,000 Okay, everybody. I hope to see you all at my engagement party tonight. 293 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:57,040 And,Jane, thanks again for arranging everything. 294 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,280 No problem. 295 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,760 Do you wanna come over to my place before the party? 296 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,760 Some of the guys from Shipping are coming... 297 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,600 - and they're bringing tequila and bubble wrap. - Fun! 298 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,800 I can't. I gotta pick up Tess from the airport. 299 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:15,160 God! Wouldn't it be great if there was a service that you could hire to do that? 300 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:19,120 Like yellow cars or shiny black sedans-- 301 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,120 I want to pick her up. She's my baby sister. 302 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,120 Plus, she needs my help, so-- 303 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,560 - See ya. - Wouldn't wanna be ya. 304 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,440 Hi! 305 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,800 Yea! 306 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,880 Hey! When did you start traveling so lightly? 307 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,640 Oh. 308 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,600 I always meet the nicest people on planes. 309 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,480 Hmm. Come on. Parked in P-9. 310 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,520 Rudolfo said he wanted to come back to New York with me, of course... 311 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,560 but I told him that I needed space, you know? 312 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,560 Spazio, Rudolfo! Spazio. 313 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,720 Oh! This is so tiny and cute. I love it. 314 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,040 Ah. Feels so good to be home. 315 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,240 Six months away feels like forever. 316 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,360 Mom was my age,you know? 317 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,800 - Almost to the day. - Yeah. 318 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,800 It was the perfect wedding-- 319 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,640 The Boathouse, the big band, ceremony at sunset. 320 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,600 Except that dress. 321 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,520 I mean, the synthetic lace and the inverted box pleats. 322 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,720 I think it was perfect. 323 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,280 - Well, they really did love each other. - Yeah. 324 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,120 What are these? Wedding announcements? 325 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,280 I'm-- No. They're just-- I was-- 326 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,280 Excuse me. I was going to recycle them. 327 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,640 Well, excuse me. Into what? Wallpaper? 328 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,000 It's just this one guy. 329 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,400 Malcolm Doyle-- I only keep his. He writes the best ones. 330 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,960 I just-- I love the stories-- The crazy proposals... 331 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,440 the engagements. 332 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:04,360 Yeah. Never mind. It's not really your thing. So, um, how long you stayin'? 333 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:09,480 Um, a week or two 'cause the fall fashion shows are done, so I don't have much work. 334 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,360 Speaking of work. I am meeting up with some people from the office tonight for a party. 335 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:17,200 - You wanna come? - Actually, I'm having drinks with some friends from Milan. 336 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,200 All right. So, let me get this straight. 337 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,880 You would rather go have drinks with Italian models... 338 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,240 than come to my awesome work party? 339 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,640 - Weird, huh? - Yeah. 340 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,560 - But I'll try to make it. - Well, thanks. 341 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,160 Grey Goose is in the freezer. Red Bull's on top of the 'fridge. 342 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,880 -In the cupboard there are-- - Strawberry Pop Tarts.Jinx! 343 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,000 I said it first. I beat you. 344 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,920 - St. Marks and A. - You got it. 345 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,280 - Hi, Gina. - Hey, George. 346 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,240 - Great party. - Thanks for comin'. 347 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:57,200 - You got them champagne glasses and a bottle of Cristal. - Good. 348 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,200 All right. Any way she's gonna believe that it actually came from me? 349 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,200 - Maybe. I wrapped it like a car ran over it. - Nice. Nice touch. 350 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,760 Ah, look. I'm gonna go to the bar, get a couple of drinks. 351 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,000 You guys need anything. A little liquid courage? 352 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,120 Maybe some hair of the dog for you? 353 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,160 I'm good. Thanks. 354 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:18,280 He asks if you want a drink, you smile and you say, "Vodka soda." 355 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,960 If you already have a drink, you down it. Then there's some flirting, some interoffice sex... 356 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,400 an accidental pregnancy, a shotgun wedding and a life of bliss. 357 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,800 How many times do we have to go over this? 358 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,120 - I don't want him to think I'm irresponsible. - Hey, guys. 359 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,160 Yeah. That's what guys want, responsible. Mmm! 360 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,800 You're wrong. George appreciates me for the way I am. 361 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,280 What good is it being appreciated if no one is naked? 362 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,720 Hey,Jane. Look. By the way... 363 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,840 did you get that thing I left on your desk this morning? 364 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,600 - O-On my desk? - Yeah. Was that okay? 365 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,280 - Okay? It was great. - Okay. Good. Good. 366 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,960 'Cause, you know, we haven't really had that kind of relationship before... 367 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,040 so I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it. 368 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,760 - George! - All right. Excuse me. 369 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,040 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He gave me flowers. He gave me flowers. 370 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,360 Okay. Stop it. This is real life. This is not a fantasy. 371 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,320 You have to go over there and tell him how you feel. 372 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:13,000 Okay. It's now or never, so-- so now. 373 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,760 - Now, now. Go. Now! - Yeah. 374 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,080 Whoo! 375 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,920 -Jane. - Sorry. 376 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:56,080 George, this is my sister, Tess. Tess, this is my George-- No! I didn't mean it like that. 377 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,240 Jane is my assistant. Kind of like my right hand. 378 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,680 Lucky her. 379 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,520 Yeah. 380 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,080 It's kind of like whatever I need, she takes care of. 381 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,040 As if I don't take enough advantage of her already... 382 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,120 I even dropped my dry cleaning slip off on her desk today. 383 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,960 Your dry cleaning slip. 384 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,000 - It was an emergency, so-- - Of course. 385 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,000 Good fluff-and-fold is no joking matter. 386 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,000 Yeah. Especially when you're down to your last pair of socks. 387 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,200 Right. 388 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,320 - You wanna get a drink? - Mm-hmm. 389 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,240 Came to have a drink with my sister. 390 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,480 Janey? 391 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,920 Hi. How are ya? 392 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,680 Were the flowers too much? 393 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,200 - They're from you. - Uh-huh. 394 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,360 You sent them. The angry marriage-hater. 395 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,480 Oh, that's--That's such... good news. 396 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,960 Good news. Hey, Kev, can you hold this for one sec? 397 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,040 - Uh, sure. - Thanks. 398 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,480 Motherf-- 399 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,440 Why? Why? 400 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,960 Oh. 401 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,600 I'm so sorry. 402 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,560 Congratulations. 403 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,560 Fifty. Wow. That's-- 404 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,640 I'm sorry. You were saying. 405 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,120 Uh, I just asked if you'd got my flowers. 406 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,320 Oh, and I have something for you. 407 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,360 I wanted to give you- 408 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,280 - Here you are. - Oh, my God. Thank God. 409 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,360 Yeah. You left it in the cab. It was either the engagement party tonight... 410 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,800 or Thursday's bikini wax, so-- I thought that-- 411 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,600 - You read it? - Yeah. Well, no. I tried to read it. 412 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,280 It was very hard. All your little notes in the little cramped handwriting. 413 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,960 It's very Unabomber. You know, they do have these Space Age computer date books now... 414 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,000 - that take care of everything for you. - Oh, yes. 415 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,120 - I don't need to be taken care of. Thank you. - Uh, have a drink with me. 416 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,560 - Yeah? - Uh, you know-- 417 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,840 Thank you for bringing back my Filofax. That was very nice. 418 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,240 It's a drink. It's not a week in Oahu. Come on. It'll take the edge off. 419 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:14,160 Come on.Just one drink. 420 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,320 I'm sorry. I'm really not gonna be very much... 421 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,280 fun tonight. 422 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:23,040 Got it. Totally got it. So maybe I'll bump into you on Thursday. 423 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,000 Maybe not. I'll see you around. 424 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,640 Who was that? And where can I get one? 425 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,600 Is he coming back? 426 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,160 That's freakin' insane. I could never do that. 427 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,080 - No, no. - You didn't eat it? 428 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,760 Oh, my God. I didn't even see it. I promise. 429 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,840 It's late. You must be exhausted. Let's--You wanna-- 430 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,640 - Let's go dancing. - What? No. I don't-- George, you don't wanna-- 431 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,880 Yeah. No. I'll go. Okay. 432 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,840 - Yeah, but I gotta warn you. I'm a terrible dancer. - Come on. 433 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,520 No. It's true. In fact, on several occasions, they've had to call the paramedics. 434 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,880 - You wanna come too,Jane? - Um-- 435 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,680 No, no. You guys go. 436 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,880 - Have a good time. - Okay. Let's go. 437 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,880 Go to sleep,Jane. 438 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,440 Go to sleep. 3:00 a.m.? 439 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:48,040 # Well, sometimes I go out by myself # 440 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:51,920 #And I look across the water # 441 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,520 #And I think of all the things what you're doin'# 442 00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,000 #And in my head I paint a picture # 443 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,840 # 'Cause since I come home # 444 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,360 # Well, my body's been a mess # 445 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,400 #And I miss your tender hair # 446 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,000 #And the way you like to dress # 447 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,360 #Oh, won't you come on over # 448 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:17,360 #Stop making a fool out of me # 449 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:22,120 # Why don't you come on over, Valerie ## 450 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,840 Oh, hi, Tess. How was your date? Nice? What? 451 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,000 You talked about me the whole time? 452 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,480 Don't feel bad. I'm a really important part of his life. 453 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,200 We spend every hour, every day together. 454 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,080 - Hey! Still up? - Hi. 455 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:41,360 Yeah. Yeah,just doin' a little bit of cleaning. Harnessing my chi. 456 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,920 Janey, I had... 457 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,440 the best night ever. 458 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,040 Oh, that's right! I totally forgot you went out. 459 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,360 - Ow! - Is that weird for you? 460 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,960 What? Weird? Why would it be weird? He's my boss. I don't care. Whatever. 461 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,760 - Okay. Great. 'Cause we're having lunch tomorrow. - That's so great! 462 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,680 Yeah. I think so too. Except not quite at that decibel. 463 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,560 So tell me about George. 464 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,720 Oh. Well. I-- 465 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,360 Uh, he, uh-- 466 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,280 Well, he dropped out of college... 467 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,560 and then climbed every major peak in the world. 468 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,560 And then he started Urban Everest from his apartment... 469 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:26,240 and turned it into one of the most eco-friendly philanthropic businesses in the world-- 470 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,200 all before he was 30. 471 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,120 - Wow. - Yeah. 472 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,000 And that's just his resume. He is an unbelievable boss. Everybody loves him. Everybody. 473 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,560 And he loves his dog, Gatsby, more than anyone. 474 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,720 He doesn't eat red meat, which is kinda cool. 475 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,400 And he would rather spend all his time outside than anywhere else. 476 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,800 My God. He sounds amazing. 477 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,360 Yeah. Yeah, but he has flaws. He does. 478 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,280 He is flawed. 479 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:54,720 - What do you mean? - Well, he hates cashews... 480 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,720 which is weird. 481 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,760 And sometimes he doesn't wear socks with sneakers. 482 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,960 I just think that's gross. 483 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,000 Jane.Jane, those aren't exactly deal-breakers. 484 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,200 Deal. Wh-What deal? 485 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,960 I mean, nothing happened between the two of you tonight, did it? 486 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,520 - Did it? - Well. 487 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,400 Oh. I got ya. Nice. 488 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,640 Mmm. Fun. 489 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,000 Sounds fun. 490 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,120 - Dad? - Oh, hey, sweetie. 491 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,160 How are you? Oh, you didn't have to-- 492 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:37,480 Tessie! Oh! Oh! 493 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,880 - Hi. - Look at you. 494 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,760 Oh, Dad. This place looks exactly the same. 495 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:45,680 Now that's not fair. 496 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,600 I got a brand-new awning. I just stripped and re-varnished all the woodwork. Look. 497 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,920 - New cash register. Digital. - Oh. 498 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,480 Wow, Dad. I'm sorry. I don't know how I missed all these... 499 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,400 remarkable improvements. 500 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,960 Give me that. Let's go upstairs. 501 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,640 There we go. 502 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,880 Dad, aren't we a little old for these? 503 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,120 - No. - Good, 'cause I love 'em! 504 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,160 So, Tess, how long you here for? 505 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,840 One to two weeks, right? That's what you said. 506 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,840 Um, actually, it just depends on how a few things pan out. 507 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,720 What things? 508 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,800 What-What-What few things? What's-- 509 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,960 - Hello? Hi! - Let me guess. 510 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,120 Some new guy is chasing after her? 511 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,200 I wouldn't call it "chasing." 512 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,080 - Oh, George. I would love to. -Jane? 513 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,280 - What? - You okay? 514 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,800 Yeah! Oh, yeah. Great. Fine. Everything's fine. 515 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:52,080 Of course. 516 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,840 I gotta stop. 517 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,640 She's gonna call me. I guarantee it. 518 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,600 - I got a way of making the ladies reach out to me. - Oh, yeah. How? 519 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,240 Oh, God. 520 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,200 Whoo! Ah. "Yello." 521 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,800 You ripped a week out of my planner. Are you insane? 522 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,600 It's a little experiment. See how you do without every second of your life mapped out. 523 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,800 By the way, your life is insane. 524 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,960 What do you do besides work and help people get married? 525 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,440 You know what? I don't see how that's any of your business. 526 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,360 How do you afford these weddings? 527 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,880 I mean, the dresses, the airfares, the wine of the month clubs? 528 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,920 Hey, people love that gift. And I'm a frequent member. 529 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,680 So sometimes they throw in a free gewurztraminer. 530 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,360 Wow. That is terribly sad. I'm sorry about that. 531 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,240 Ah. Well, look. I wanna make it up to you. 532 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,280 Okay? How about a new date book or maybe just a date? 533 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,360 Uh, yeah. Sure. Let me just pencil you in. 534 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,440 Except, hey! You already did. Every Saturday for the rest of the year. 535 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,720 You know what? Can you please, please find someone else to be creepy with? 536 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,520 Nope. Tell you what. Anytime you wanna hang out with somebody... 537 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,320 who doesn't need you to take them to a fitting or a cake-tasting... 538 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,800 or a coed mojito and burrito rehearsal dinner, just give me a call. 539 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,880 Yeah. Okay. 540 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,280 Oh, God. 541 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,600 - Hey! - Hey! 542 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,720 - Are we getting too old for hugs? - No. 543 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,720 Thank you. 544 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,680 There he is. 545 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,280 - Pedro. How's it goin'? - Hey, what's up? 546 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,680 - So Pedro is my, uh-- - I'm his little brother. 547 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,600 From the Big Brother Program at the Y. 548 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,440 - Oh. - Pedro, Tess happens to be Jane's sister. 549 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,920 - Oh. - Hola, Pedro. 550 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:43,200 Yeah. Um, look,Jane, Tess and I... 551 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,520 are gonna take Pedro to his baseball game if you wanna join us. 552 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,920 I can't. I've got so much work to do. I should stay here. 553 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,160 Are you kidding me,Jane? Look, your boss is a jerk anyhow. 554 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,000 - Let's go. I don't wanna have to fire you. - Okay. 555 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,920 All right? All right. Let's go. 556 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,720 - Hey. How you doin'? - All right. 557 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,680 Let me get three Diet Pepsis, three fries and-- 558 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,080 - Chili dog. You want a chili dog? - Uh, no. 559 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,920 - Not unless it's a tofu dog with meatless chili. - I'm sorry. What? 560 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,680 - You're a vegetarian? - Uh-huh. It's recent. 561 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,600 - Oh, is it? - You know, 'cause I'm a vegetarian too. 562 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,080 - Oh. - I used to be a vegan, but it was too much of a hassle. 563 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,320 Oh, God. I know. I mean, even being a vegetarian is a challenge. 564 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:26,160 I mean, every time I go hiking, I have to bring my homemade "to furky jerky." 565 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,800 You go hiking? I mean, no offense... 566 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,840 but you hardly seem like the kind of girl that hits the trails-- 567 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,880 Especially in those shoes. 568 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,000 Don't be silly. The best "to furky" is made by publicists in kitten heels. 569 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,720 I can see how you would think that, but I actually love... 570 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,640 all that outdoorsy type of stuff-- 571 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,320 You know, hiking and biking and climbing up things. 572 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:50,920 But, to tell you the truth, I haven't been hiking since--Well, since my dog died. 573 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,480 See Jane and I had this dog growing up, Tory. 574 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,400 I just-- I loved him. 575 00:33:55,520 --> 00:34:00,520 He would just go on nature hikes and climbing adventures. 576 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,680 Not a day goes by that I don't think about that bag of fleas. 577 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,560 Good ol' Tory. 578 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,640 Jane, how come you never mentioned Tory? 579 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:15,000 I don't know. I must have repressed the memory of Toby. 580 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:21,160 Yeah. His name was "Toby," but I called him "Tory" because I had a lisp. 581 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,360 A lisp that turned your "B's" to "R's"? 582 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,280 You know what? When I was a kid, I had a stutter. 583 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,280 No way! 584 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,360 - We have more things in common than I thought. - Yeah, me too. 585 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,800 I'm gonna go out and shag some flies with Pedro. 586 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,360 Ooh! I'm jealous. It sounds fun. 587 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:45,520 - What are "shagging flies"? - What are you doing? 588 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,120 - What? - You hate dogs and tofu and being outside. 589 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,000 No. I like yachts. I like flowers. I like, you know, tanning. 590 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,800 - I mean, it's not exactly the same-- - And you hated Toby. 591 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,800 You hated him. The only animals you ever cared about are dead ones with sleeves. 592 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,760 You're just saying all this stuff because George is so... attractive. 593 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,720 - Or some people think he is. - I did not hate that dog. 594 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,640 I just hated it when he slobbered on me. 595 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:11,160 And I could like soy milk and hiking if I tried it. Maybe. 596 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,720 Hey, Tess. What do you say you come out here. Let's see that arm. 597 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:19,080 Ooh. Fun. Are we gonna shag now? 598 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,600 - Ever done this before? - No. I don't know how to do this. 599 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,240 - Here you go. - Okay. Like that? 600 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,840 Put this arm down there. All right? Hold that elbow up. 601 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,640 - Okay. - All right. Hold it there. 602 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,640 Hi. 603 00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:36,760 Thank you. Thank you. 604 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,520 - Oh. - #I'm in like with you # 605 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,480 - "Love, George." - Ah. 606 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,920 #Not in love with you quite yet # 607 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,640 - George. - #My heart's beginning to # 608 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:53,680 Oh, that's terrific. 609 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,080 #Slightly overrule my head # 610 00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,640 #Oh, no, oh, no My self-control # 611 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:05,600 #It won't hold up for very long # 612 00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:07,920 #Oh, no, oh, no # 613 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,240 - # You touch my soul # - We should all go fishing together sometime. 614 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,680 Wouldn't that be great? 615 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,160 # 'Cause I might need a moment # 616 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,240 #And I wouldn't wanna spoil it Who knows # 617 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,240 #If I am ready or not # 618 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,360 - # To date or not # - #Only time will tell # 619 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,520 # Who knows # 620 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:37,040 #If we are ready to make this # 621 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,960 #Something # 622 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,920 # Who knows # 623 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,280 #Mmm,yeah # 624 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,800 You know that in sign language, this means "I love you." 625 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:56,240 - #But I haven't fallen in quite yet # - I love you too, Tess. 626 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,160 #Oh, no, oh, no # 627 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,880 #My self-control # 628 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:05,440 #It won't hold up for very long # 629 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,560 #Oh, no, oh, no # 630 00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,880 # You touch my soul # 631 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,200 #I can't help falling too fast for you # 632 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,280 - # Who knows # -Jane! 633 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,640 #If I am ready or not ## 634 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,320 - Which one sucks less? - This one. 635 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,760 - Good. Maybe, uh, would you mind again? - Nope. 636 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,240 - Thank you. - I do it for my dad all the time. 637 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,760 You okay? You seem a little bit nervous. 638 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,360 Yeah. No. I'm cool. 639 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,680 - How's it look? - Great. 640 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,840 - Here you go. Mm-hmm. - Thank you. 641 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,760 Oh, hey. Guys, guys! Hold it. She's not the one. She's not the one. 642 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:30,680 Hey.Jane. 643 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:35,320 I'm so sorry. I should've called, but you forgot your wallet. 644 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,880 Oh. Well, thanks. 645 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,240 Sorry I'm late. 646 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,800 Hey, guys. Now, now. 647 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:49,080 Jane, what's going on? 648 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,120 Come here, boy. 649 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:56,280 Golly. Here you go. 650 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,560 - Oh! - Hey, Tess. 651 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,720 - Sorry. - Um-- 652 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,320 Will you do me a favor? Sit down a second. 653 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,120 Okay. 654 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:19,240 So, Tess. My parents met playing hopscotch when they were, like, eight years old... 655 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,840 and they were married for 42 years. 656 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:26,200 And I've been waiting my whole life to feel the way my dad felt about my mom. 657 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,480 And maybe I've been too busy trying to make something of myself... 658 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,880 - but, I think I... - Oh! 659 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,920 missed some of those moments. 660 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:35,960 - But, Tess, the second that I saw you... - Okay. 661 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,120 I knew that we could be great together. 662 00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:41,720 So, um-- 663 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,720 Tess, will you marry me? 664 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,120 Yes, of course I will. 665 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,920 George. 666 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,720 So, wait. Does this mean that you're moving back here? 667 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,480 Yup. 668 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,360 Whoa. Well, I-- I don't know what to say. You give Jane a job... 669 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,080 then you get Tessie to move back home. 670 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,840 George, you're my hero. I mean it. 671 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,120 Oh, thank you. You have a couple of pretty great girls here. 672 00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,240 Wait.Just a second. I wanna get somethin'. Don't go anywhere. 673 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,960 Who isn't? 674 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,080 I'm so excited that we did this today. 675 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,200 - He's so happy. - Tess. 676 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,520 Daddy! 677 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:36,040 - Your mother would've wanted you to have it. - Daddy, thank you! 678 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,000 Okay. 679 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,440 - Thank you. - Okay. 680 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,600 -Jane, you don't mind, right? - No. No. 681 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,600 - You can have it after me. - No. That's good. It's right. Mom would've wanted that. 682 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,040 - Yeah. Mom would've wanted that. - That's my Jane. 683 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,120 Okay. Yeah. That's right. 684 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,720 It was my mother's. 685 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,600 - Isn't that amazing? - That's beautiful. 686 00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:03,200 Dad, I don't even know what to say. 687 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,720 Uh, so I'm just trying to figure out why you decided to meet with me. 688 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,720 You've been ducking me and then, all of a sudden-- 689 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,240 My little sister's getting married. 690 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,360 - Ah, before you. - That's not what I'm upset about. 691 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,200 Then what are you upset about? 692 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,840 You don't know Tess. She's gonna want me to do everything. 693 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,800 I'm not gonna just be her maid of honor. 694 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,520 I'm gonna be taking care of everything. 695 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,800 - So why don't you just say, "No"? - What? 696 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,160 Say, "No." 697 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:33,080 - You have said, "No," to people before? - Yes. Of course. 698 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:37,040 Many, many times. In this situation, never. Not once. 699 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,680 Ah, but you want to say, "No." 700 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,840 But I can't. It's my sister. 701 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,480 But you can say, "No." Because it's your sister-- 702 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,280 All right. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna practice. 703 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,720 All right? We're gonna practice saying, "No." You think I'm kidding? 704 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,040 Turn around. We're gonna play this game. Come on. Humor me. 705 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,560 All right.Jane, give me 50 bucks. 706 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,960 - No! -Jane, it's 50 bucks. I'll pay you back. 707 00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:01,480 No. 708 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,320 Jane, I need you... 709 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,320 to give me 50 bucks. 710 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,880 No? 711 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,080 Eh, not bad. 712 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,320 - Can I have your drink? - Sure. 713 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,240 No! 714 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,760 - Oh, no. - You were doing so well. 715 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,040 - That's terrible. - Mm-hmm. 716 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,280 - So you went by the flower shop and ordered the favors? - Yup. 717 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,200 - Uh-huh. - What about the invitation mock-ups? 718 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,200 - Done. - This is so much fun! 719 00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:35,520 Did I tell you I asked Julie to be one of the bridesmaids? 720 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,400 - Who? - Cousin Julie. Second cousin twice removed. 721 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,240 - What about Mimi? Cousin Mimi? - Oh, no way. 722 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,760 She's so pregnant. It'll just throw off the aesthetics. 723 00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,160 I'm sorry. I know you don't love Julie. 724 00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:50,640 What's not to love about a woman who asked me if I chaired... 725 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,480 the Itty Bitty Titty Committee all through my teen years? 726 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,800 Just don't listen to her. Your boobs came in eventually. They just missed high school. 727 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,280 As for the third bridesmaid, I want you to ask your friend... 728 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,280 - that really rude one. - Casey? 729 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,720 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - My Casey? 730 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,000 She's really pretty. She can pull off the strapless. 731 00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,000 I don't have that many girlfriends. For some reason, girls just don't like me. 732 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,400 I don't know why. 733 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,040 Okay. Fine. I know why. Will you just ask her? 734 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,880 Sure. Of course. 735 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,000 So I was also thinking we could do a slide show for the rehearsal dinner. 736 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,280 You know, put pictures of George and I together and say funny things. 737 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,520 - Okay. - Oh, and guess what. That writer you obsess about... 738 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,360 he wants to do a whole Commitments column on us in the Journal. 739 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,280 He called me. Can you believe it? 740 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,320 At this point, I absolutely can. 741 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,560 Listen, um, I've been thinking a lot about what you said, and I think you're right. 742 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:43,360 I think it would be so special if I did a wedding just like Mom and Dad's. 743 00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,080 -Just like? - You know, especially since I'm wearing Mom's dress. 744 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,840 So, ta-da! 745 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:53,240 - The Boathouse? - Uh-huh. 746 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,600 At first, when I called, they said they had no availability for 18 months. 747 00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,480 But then the ninth time I called, they said they had a cancellation. 748 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,160 Apparently the bride slept with the groom's father and brother... 749 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,280 and sister and all these people. 750 00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,360 So, obviously, it got canceled and they were all devastated. 751 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,360 But which means... 752 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,520 we're getting married in three weeks. 753 00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:13,560 Three weeks? 754 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,200 Uh-huh. Oh,Jane. I know you can pull it together quickly. 755 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,880 And I didn't wanna wait that long anyway, so-- 756 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,800 Uh, you could be a little excited for me. 757 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:30,000 No, I am. I am. It's just-- 758 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,920 It's just that you wanted to get married at The Boathouse in Mom's dress too. 759 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,240 I know. 760 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,360 No, I just-- I didn't know that that's what you wanted... 761 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,120 but if it is, then I just want you to be happy. 762 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,240 - You know that. - Great! 763 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,640 Okay. Now can we talk about more important stuff? 764 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:50,440 Come on. I really don't like the linens, and I think we need to rent new ones... 765 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,320 because they do not go with the color scheme that I picked out. 766 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,760 That selfish whore. 767 00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,760 - Namaste. - Namaste. 768 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,680 I can't believe it. I cannot believe it. 769 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,680 There is no man that won't fall for her. Even a do-gooder like George. 770 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:08,280 Men just become hypnotized by her voodoo and they lose their minds. 771 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,720 You can't plan your sister's wedding to the man you love. It's sick. 772 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:13,880 To be fair, she didn't know how I felt about him. 773 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,480 And nor should she-- He's my boss. 774 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,840 I'm just gonna have to get over it. I don't really have a choice. 775 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,800 And neither do you. 776 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,360 She wants you to be a bridesmaid. 777 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,800 You are shitting me. 778 00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,360 - Hello? - Please. 779 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,280 No. No, I won't do it, on principle. 780 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:34,120 I say, "No," on principle. No. You can count me out. 781 00:45:34,240 --> 00:45:37,200 Please. Please don't leave me alone in this. 782 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,320 - Please, please, please. - Fine. Fine. 783 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,600 Because it's you. But if she crosses me, I'm gonna kick her ass. 784 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,800 And then I will kick your ass. Then I'm gonna have a couple drinks-- 785 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:52,520 There's no sign that says, "No talking." 786 00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:00,080 Three weeks? It cannot be done. 787 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,480 - It is not enough time for one of my creations! - Okay, um... 788 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:07,400 Antoine, remember when I brought you the Schecters... 789 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,560 and they commissioned that six-tiered, heart-shaped masterpiece? 790 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,240 Then, of course, the tower of edible gifts... 791 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,240 for the Schifman-Guardino outdoor fiesta. 792 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:18,240 You can do anything, and we both know it. 793 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,160 You're gonna do the cake, and you're gonna do it in three weeks... 794 00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:23,600 - and I would like a discount, please. - Three weeks? 795 00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:26,200 - It pleases me. - Delightful. 796 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:29,160 We have a cake. 797 00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,520 - What are you doing here? - Hi. I'm Malcolm Doyle. 798 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,320 - What? - Oh, yes. I didn't wanna believe it till you were here. 799 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:40,360 - Um, this is my fiance, George. - Hi. Congratulations... 800 00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,000 - to the both of you. - Thank you. 801 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,080 Oh. Babe, I gotta take this. All right? 802 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,120 - Okay. - If there's a cake emergency... 803 00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:49,280 I'm right over here. 804 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,000 Oh, and this is Jane, my sister. 805 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,560 She's obsessed with your stories. 806 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,280 - She keeps them, but pretends she doesn't, but she does. - Okay. 807 00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,600 She's your number one fan. 808 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,520 Not in a creepy way though. 809 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:04,480 - Right. - You said your name was "Kevin." 810 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,000 As in "Kevin." 811 00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,040 Well, I use "Malcolm" for the byline so I don't get stalked by crazy brides. 812 00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,800 - So how did you meet George? - You're an asshole. 813 00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,240 -Jane. - What? I'm sorry. He said his name was "Kevin." 814 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,320 - I'm just-- I'm a little bit confused. - Wait. 815 00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:22,800 - You guys know each other? - Well, we both work the wedding circuit, so-- 816 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:26,680 Can you just give us one second? I'm just gonna-- over-- for one second... 817 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,680 talk to-- talk about you. 818 00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,480 Antoine. 819 00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,400 You lied to me. 820 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,200 No. I told you I was a writer. I didn't tell you what I wrote. 821 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:40,760 But-- But you write the most beautiful things. 822 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,560 Do you actually believe in love and marriage and pretend to be a cynic... 823 00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,800 or are you a cynic who knows how to spin romantic crap for girls like me? 824 00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,640 I didn't follow that at all. But I think the second one, the spinning crap one. 825 00:47:51,720 --> 00:47:56,680 Oh, my God. I feel like I found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich. 826 00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:00,120 Um, can I steal you away to tell you about George and me? 827 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,120 Of course. Of course. That's why I'm here. 828 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,600 What? Tess is not here. 829 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:33,200 - I'm here to see you. - Why? 830 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,600 Come on. I have to talk to all of the friends and family. 831 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,880 It'll take five minutes. Please? 832 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,320 For George and Tess? 833 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,240 Well, okay. 834 00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,040 Thank you. 835 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,520 - May I come in? -Just ask me what you wanna ask me. 836 00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,800 - Or would you prefer to lie some more? - I didn't lie to you. 837 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,840 I don't know why you keep saying that. 838 00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:59,520 - I may have left out a couple of things. - Can we just get this over with? 839 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,240 The maid of honor is a peculiar young woman. 840 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:07,240 So tell me how you feel about Tess's whirlwind romance. 841 00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,240 I couldn't be happier. She's my kid sister. 842 00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,440 I taught her how to tell time, how to ride a bike... 843 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:13,360 how to steam flounder in the dishwasher. 844 00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:16,920 I mean, I practically raised her-- Oh, please, don't print that. 845 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,120 That would kill my father. 846 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,600 Wait. What are those? 847 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,080 Nothing. 848 00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,040 - Are those-- - No! 849 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,400 - Are they bridesmaid dresses? - This is none of your business. 850 00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:37,760 Oh! Good God. 851 00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,560 What? You kept them all? You have a whole closet full. Why? 852 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:43,200 I have a lot of friends and I like to keep them. 853 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,800 Right. Well, that makes complete sense... 854 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,360 - because they're beautiful. - Some are not that bad. 855 00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,760 "Not that bad"? I'd like to see one of them that's not that bad. 856 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:52,720 Fine. 857 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,520 Um, well-- Not that one. 858 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,240 This one-- This one is really-- 859 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,240 Horrible. Right? Was the word you're looking for. 860 00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:03,320 What color is this? Vomit? 861 00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,440 No, it's like a-- It's an "olivey" green. It's very in. 862 00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:07,400 I'm telling you, it looks great on. 863 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,560 Uh, no. I'm telling you that this is an instrument of torture... 864 00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,840 inflicted on you by a bride who wants you to look ugly. 865 00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,720 No.Jenna picked it because it looks good on everybody. 866 00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,960 Slightly delusional and will believe anything anyone tells her. 867 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,200 That is not true and I'm going to show you you are wrong. 868 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,600 See? 869 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:40,960 It's not so bad. This sash is really very flat-- 870 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,560 Okay. You are totally right about the dress. It is not that bad. 871 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,560 But, come on. The color? Please. 872 00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:49,960 Well, it's your flash. I think it's blowing it out weird... 873 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,120 and if it were just a normal-- Okay, it's not very good. 874 00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:54,720 You kind of look like a shiny mermaid. 875 00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,960 You should be flattered. She didn't want to stand next to a tall, beautiful woman... 876 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,240 and have you actually looking decent. 877 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:06,520 It's really not the worst one. 878 00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,680 If I had to pick one-- I got a good one. 879 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,240 - This is my favorite. - Oh, my God. 880 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,240 - What the hell is that? - Theme wedding. 881 00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:21,080 What was the theme, "humiliation"? God! 882 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,120 - No, people do not have Gone With The Wind weddings. - I have been to three. 883 00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:26,800 - Let's do it. - All right. 884 00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:28,800 - Y'all say, "Diddly-dee." - Diddly-dee. 885 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,680 Oh! 886 00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,000 I feel sick. All right. What else you got? Show me some more. 887 00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,240 Okay. Okay. 888 00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,720 - You have to show me Benihana. - Give it.