0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.MySubtitles.com 1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:14,000 Ripped with SubRip 1.17 and Verified by CdinT cdint@hotmail.com 2 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,800 I deliver perfection... and don't brag about it! :D 3 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,600 Excuse me, miss. There seems to be a mistake. 4 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,320 I ordered the large cappuccino. 5 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,480 Hello! 6 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,520 - Look at the size of this. - It's a bowl. 7 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,080 It's like Campbell's cup-o-ccino. 8 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:28,680 My sides. Please. "Aidez-moi." 9 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,480 So Tony... 10 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,960 ...what's with your clothes? 11 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,720 What? 12 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,720 You look like you're in Starsky and Hutch. 13 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,400 - I look hip. - No, no, no. 14 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,800 More like an undercover cop trying to be. 15 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,680 - I am a cop trying to look hip. - Can you do me a favour? 16 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,880 When you go to my parents' don't dress like a 1970s pimp. 17 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,240 My parents are a little eccentric. 18 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:01,960 This poem is called, "An Apology To The Aliens Who Abducted Me... 19 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,520 ...and Whom I Inflicted Destruction Upon... 20 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,560 ...While Having a Panic Attack Aboard the Ship." 21 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,080 Autobiographical. 22 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,520 - What are you gonna do tonight? - Well... 23 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,880 ...I'm gonna do a poem about Sherri. 24 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:25,480 - The "Woman, Woe Man, Whoa Man" poem. - Yeah. 25 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,680 Tell me again. Why did you break up with Sherri? 26 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,600 Tony, I told you already, she's a thief. 27 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,440 - You don't honestly believe that? - Tony, she's a klepto. 28 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,680 To this day I still don't know where my cat is. 29 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,080 Charlie, every time you meet a nice girl... 30 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,600 ...you get paranoid and break up. - That's not true. 31 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,280 - I broke up for good reasons. - Really? 32 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,600 - Yes. - What about Jill? 33 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,440 She was in the Mafia. 34 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,720 - She was in the Mafia? - Yes, the "Cosa Nostra". 35 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:03,960 - I never knew how she made a living. - She was unemployed. 36 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,080 - She didn't work. - That's a perfect cover. 37 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:12,040 All right. What about Pam? 38 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,880 She smelled like soup. 39 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,280 - What does that mean? - Like beef-vegetable soup. 40 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,560 - Paranoid. - You weren't there. 41 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,360 It's all in your head. 42 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,480 It is. 43 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,800 - I'm up. Wish me luck. - Good luck. 44 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:45,520 Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for our own Mr. Charlie MacKenzie. 45 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,480 Woman 46 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,200 Woe man 47 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,480 Whoa man 48 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,760 She was a thief You gotta believe 49 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,560 She stole my heart and my cat 50 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,320 Betty 51 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,800 Judy 52 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,200 Josie and those hot Pussycats 53 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,800 They make me horny Saturday morny 54 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,240 Girls of cartoons Won't leave me in ruins 55 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,640 I want to be Betty's Barney 56 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:33,240 Hey, Jane, get me off This crazy thing... 57 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:37,080 ... called love 58 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,760 - Hi. - Hi. 59 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,680 Can I help you? 60 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:43,160 - Yes, do you have haggis? - Yes, we do. One? 61 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,840 Yes, please. 62 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,680 My parents are Scottish. 63 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,960 That will be $19.75. 64 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,280 Here you go. 65 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,000 Thank you. 66 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:06,800 - Will there be anything else? - No, thanks. 67 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,720 Thanks. 68 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,880 May, get in here! 69 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,640 All right, May, turn off the Bay City Rollers! 70 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,880 The soccer game's about to begin! 71 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,280 - Hello. - Hi! 72 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,400 We're in here, son! 73 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,720 - Charlie. - How's it going, William? 74 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,600 Give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in. 75 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,080 Hi. Hey! 76 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:43,040 May. Shut it! 77 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,280 - How you doing, Dad? - Fine. 78 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,080 - Come on, Charlie. - Away you go with your mother. 79 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,360 Why don't you try one of her bras on, wee girl? 80 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,680 Flaunt away, you fairy! 81 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,320 Hey, Mom. 82 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,960 I brought you guys a haggis. 83 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,640 That's sweet of you, son. Thank you. 84 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:06,360 I haven't seen one of these for years. 85 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,520 Actually, I hate them. But your father will... 86 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:16,320 Look. He's giving Tony all that Lyndon H. LaRouche rubbish again. 87 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:20,280 It's a known fact, Sonny Jim, that a secret society... 88 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,280 ...of the five wealthiest people, known as the Pentavirate... 89 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,440 ...run everything in the world, including the newspapers... 90 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:32,960 ...and meet tri-annually at a secret mansion in Colorado known as... 91 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,520 ..."The Meadows". - Who's in the Pentavirate? 92 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,120 The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds... 93 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,920 ...and Colonel Sanders, before he went tits-up. 94 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,520 I hated the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes... 95 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:52,920 ...and that smug look on his face. "You're gonna buy my chicken. Oh!" 96 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,000 Dad, how can you hate the Colonel? 97 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,880 He puts addictive chemicals in chicken... 98 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,000 ...making you crave it fortnightly, smart-ass! 99 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,880 Interesting. Cuckoo. 100 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,880 Charlie, would you like a juice? 101 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,960 Look at what I've bought myself, a Juice Tiger. 102 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,600 - A Juice Tiger? - Yes, I juice everything now. 103 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,160 I'm on a new diet. 104 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,920 I'm on a "Weekly World News" Garth Brooks Juice Diet. 105 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,440 Scores! 106 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,000 - Margin, one-nil! - Magic goal! 107 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,560 Let's have a look at the replay. 108 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:34,560 William, move your head. 109 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,200 Look at the size of that boy's head. 110 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,880 It's like an orange on a toothpick. 111 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,360 - You'll give him a complex. - That's a huge noggin. 112 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:47,840 It's a virtual planetoid. Has its own weather system! 113 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:52,080 Head! Move! 114 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,560 - Your Sherri's late. - Mom... 115 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,360 ...Sherri and I broke up. 116 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,360 Not Sherri? 117 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,440 I liked Sherri. 118 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,840 I didn't like the other girls you brought home. 119 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:11,600 - Don't make it any harder for me. - Why should I make it easier, son? 120 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,480 You were good together, you and Sherri. 121 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:20,200 - I thought you'd marry. - You know I'm terrified of marriage. 122 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,040 I know that, son. I know that. 123 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:28,000 Maybe it's better not to marry. Did you read the paper? 124 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,840 - No. - No? Where did I put it? 125 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,960 Stuart! Bring in the paper! 126 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,720 All right, hon! 127 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,480 Head! Paper! Now! 128 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,400 Move that melon of yours if you can. 129 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,800 Hauling that gargantuan cranium about. 130 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,480 No kidding. His head's like Sputnik. 131 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,560 Spherical, but pointy in parts. 132 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,720 That was offside, wasn't it? 133 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:57,960 He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow. 134 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,360 Mom, why do you refer to Weekly World News... 135 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:06,040 ...as "the paper"? The paper contains facts. 136 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,600 This paper contains facts. 137 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:13,960 And this paper has the eighth-highest circulation in the whole wide world. 138 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,920 Plenty of facts. "Pregnant Man Gives Birth." 139 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,800 That's a fact. 140 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,040 Here it is, look. Read this. 141 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,600 "Mrs. X. the honeymoon murderer." 142 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:34,600 She marries men under fake identities and then she murders them. 143 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:39,840 She's murdered three men already. Victim number one was a lounge singer. 144 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:45,400 Victim number two, a Russian martial arts expert. 145 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:51,600 And she's also killed a plumber named Ralph Elliot. 146 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,280 And her whereabouts are unknown. 147 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:30,480 Give us a kiss, Tony, and cheer me up. Good night. 148 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,680 Wow, you've turned into a sexy wee bastard. You know that? 149 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,400 Thanks, Mrs. MacKenzie. 150 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,960 - Hasn't he? - I think so. 151 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,640 - Good night, Mom. - Good night, Charlie. 152 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:52,080 - Good night, Dad. - Fine, go. You've stayed your hour. 153 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,080 Ooh, yes. 154 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,480 - Morning, Charles. - Morning, sir. 155 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,720 Are you working on the forms for the vendor...? 156 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,120 Yes, captain. 157 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,480 Tony? Tony? 158 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:02,240 I don't want to intrude, but you seem a little down. 159 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:07,480 Well, captain, it's about my job. 160 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,600 I'm having doubts about being a cop. 161 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,640 It's not like how it is on TV. 162 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:18,320 I fill out forms and paperwork all day. 163 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,400 Point well taken, but even though it's not exciting... 164 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,000 ...it's very important. 165 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,560 Yeah, but of all my times as a cop, I've never... 166 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,840 I never chased a guy across a crowded square. 167 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:35,720 I've never hung onto that part of the helicopter. You know that part? 168 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,600 - You know? - I know it. 169 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,680 I've never hung onto that or even commandeered a vehicle. 170 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,920 - That sounds like a lot of fun. - That's the other thing. 171 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,000 You're too nice. 172 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,720 - I'm too nice? - Yes, you're too nice. 173 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,840 Why not be like a "Starsky and Hutch" captain? 174 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,640 Where you haul me in your office and bawl me out... 175 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,040 ...because you're tired of defending me from the commissioner. 176 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,760 The truth is, I report to a committee. 177 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,720 Some are appointed, elected, or co-opted biannually. 178 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,000 - It's a quorum, so to speak. - A quorum? 179 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,560 I thought I was gonna be Serpico... 180 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,600 ...but instead I'm like Fish from "Barney Miller". 181 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,000 Hey, somebody needs a hug. 182 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,600 Captain. 183 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,880 Okay, coming up. 184 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,440 - Hi. - Haggis, right? 185 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,000 Yeah, I'm the guy who ordered the haggis. 186 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,320 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 187 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,480 - Do you like haggis? - No, it's repellent. 188 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,800 I think Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. 189 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,080 - I'm next. - You're next. 190 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,560 Yes, can I help you? 191 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:09,640 I'll tell you how you can help me. All I want is one New York steak... 192 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,360 ...a quarter-inch thick. That's all. No more, no less. 193 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:19,000 - Get it and let me out. - I'm really busy. Be right back. 194 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,400 - It's busy, hey? - It's insane today. 195 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:28,000 My dad's a butcher, and I used to work at his shop. 196 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,120 - I can help you. - I'd love some help. 197 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,680 - Great, what's your name? - Charlie. 198 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,480 - Harriet. - Hi, Harriet. 199 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,880 - Could you get four porterhouses? - Okay. 200 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,400 Just kidding. 201 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,480 Hi. 202 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,840 So do you live in New York? 203 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,400 Really? 204 00:19:54,640 --> 00:20:00,920 Just tell me if that's too tense. You guide me. You guide me. 205 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,400 Mom, can you get the school nurse? 206 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,720 Get the school nurse! Help me! 207 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,560 It was an accident in shop. 208 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:18,680 Get me a tourniquet? Anything. 209 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,640 Thanks for helping me out at the butcher shop. 210 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,640 - You were really nice. - Oh, I was nice? 211 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,920 "Nice." Evidently you think of me as a woman friend. 212 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,560 - And what is wrong with being nice? - Nothing. 213 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,680 - Charlie? - Yes? 214 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,320 - Name a bad thing you've done. - I've done bad things. 215 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:52,040 Tell me one bad thing you've done, and it better be evil. 216 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,360 - How evil? - Really evil. 217 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:59,320 So evil that you would say it was "e-vil". 218 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:04,280 Like it's "the fruits of the De-vil". "E-vil." 219 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:09,800 For example, how many people have you brutally murdered? 220 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,840 "Brutal" is a very subjective word. 221 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:19,760 What's brutal to one person might be reasonable to somebody else. 222 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,680 Excuse me. 223 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,080 Do you know Russian? 224 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,960 Yeah. 225 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,920 Oh, this hurts. No, this is hard. 226 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,280 Not only are you extremely good-looking... 227 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,160 ...but you're also very smart and that's no fair. 228 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,240 - That's hard. - Bright women intimidate you? 229 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,160 No, no. Not at all. 230 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:20,200 But it's a shame I'm going to have to destroy you. 231 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,680 - Charlie, come here! - Nadia... 232 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,880 ...I am coming. 233 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,040 Expand, contract, expand. 234 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:42,640 What do you look for in a woman you date? 235 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:46,320 I know everyone always says sense of humour... 236 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,360 ...but I have to go with breast size. 237 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:51,920 Oh, my God. 238 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:56,760 Come! Let us dance like children of the night. 239 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:08,240 - Here we are. - Wow! What a great place. 240 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,600 - Some tea? - Sure. 241 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,480 Well, show yourself around. 242 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:23,840 You know what this place needs? A large poster of Atlantic City. 243 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,440 Oh, look, you got one! 244 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,440 I used to live there. I have herbal teas: 245 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,920 Cubby Wubby Womb Room tea... 246 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,840 ...and Morning Thunder. - I'll go with Cubby Wubby. 247 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,280 All right, thanks. 248 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,160 What's this? 249 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,480 Oh! 250 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,720 I had a friend who was a martial arts expert and... 251 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,400 - Oh, you had a friend? - It's a martial arts thing. 252 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,280 I thought it would look good on the wall. 253 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,480 It does. 254 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,600 You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. 255 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,840 It's called "Fuck You!" 256 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:18,880 It's mostly head-butting and kicking people on the ground. 257 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,440 - It's late. - Not for me. 258 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,960 - Who for, then? - Who for, then, what? 259 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,360 If not for you, I wonder who it is late for. 260 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,320 Not me, no. I like the nightlife. 261 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,240 I like to boogie. 262 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,800 I'll make the tea, then. 263 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,280 You know... 264 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,240 ...maybe it is late. 265 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:12,840 I'll be honest with you. I had a great time tonight... 266 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,960 ...and I'd really love to kiss you. 267 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:21,360 But if I kiss you, we'll end up on the couch, and if we end up there... 268 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,360 ...chances are we'll kiss in the bedroom... 269 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,600 ...and that's the part I always rush into. 270 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:33,120 It's not a good idea to rush into spending the night together. 271 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,240 I want to. 272 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,080 I have no problem with that. 273 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,400 You're it. 274 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:43,840 Come here! 275 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,280 Oh, no! Oh, God! 276 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,480 Yes. 277 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,880 Yes. 278 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,880 Ralph! 279 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,280 I will. I will. 280 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,800 Wait, not now! Not now! 281 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,880 Ralph! Ralph! 282 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,880 Harriet. 283 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,480 You were having a dream. 284 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:29,480 And you kept saying the name "Ralph." 285 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:37,880 - Ralph? - Yeah, you kept saying "Ralph." 286 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,880 She's my friend. 287 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:50,160 She's your friend. Ralph. 288 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,640 "She" is your friend. Ralph. 289 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,040 Ralph. She. 290 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,800 I'm sorry! I thought you were somebody else! 291 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,160 Hi. 292 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,560 Hi. 293 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:59,840 I'm Harriet's friend, Charlie. You must be Ralph? 294 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,440 I'm Harriet's sister, Rose. 295 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,160 - She gave me a note to give to you. - Great. 296 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,840 "Dear Charlie, I didn't want to wake you." 297 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:14,800 "Make yourself at home and thanks for the... 298 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,920 ...hot dog. Harriet." 299 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,240 That's a very nice note. 300 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:26,400 - Let me make you some breakfast. - I'd love to, but I'm running late. 301 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,040 How do silver-dollar pancakes... 302 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:33,360 ...fresh orange juice, bacon and Kona coffee sound? 303 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,400 It sounds great. 304 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,440 Sorry. I didn't have those other things. 305 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,040 That's fine. That other stuff will kill you. 306 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:52,800 Whereas Froot Loops are light and reasonably high in fibre. 307 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,520 - I care for Apple Jacks a great deal. - Got them. 308 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,720 Good. 309 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,600 So, is this your place? 310 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,520 No, this is our place. Harriet's and mine. 311 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:11,560 She sort of comes and goes but always ends up here. 312 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,160 She didn't speak of me? 313 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,200 No, she didn't "speak of you". 314 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:22,720 She mentioned a martial arts guy, and there was discussion about Ralph? 315 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,320 Oh, really? She spoke about them? 316 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:33,200 She talked about the martial arts guy and kind of shouted Ralph. 317 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,680 - Well, you know Harriet. - Actually, I don't. 318 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:49,240 - But you did have sex with her. - Hello! 319 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,440 I'm gonna go now. 320 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,400 I won't tell Harriet that anything happened. 321 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,480 Well, Rose. 322 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,800 Nothing did happen. 323 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:10,160 Don't worry, Charlie. Just be careful. 324 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,080 "Just be careful." 325 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:25,000 I had the greatest night of my life last night. 326 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:52,760 - Sounds like you really like her. - I'm smitten. I'm in deep smit. 327 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,480 She is wonderful. But we shouldn't talk about it. 328 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,560 I'll start analysing it, and that's no good. 329 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,800 That is good. You should just let it happen. Relax. 330 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,560 I am a park ranger, and I will lead you on the tour. 331 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,880 All the rangers at Alcatraz were once guards, myself included. 332 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,640 My name is John Johnson, but everyone calls me Vickie. 333 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,920 Please follow me. 334 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:22,120 - I love Vickie. He's great. - He's the best. 335 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:25,000 This is the main cellblock area. 336 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,160 Home to such famous criminals as Al Capone... 337 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,240 ...Mickey Cohen, Joseph "Dutch" Cretzer... 338 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:35,840 ...and Robert Stroud, the famous Birdman of Alcatraz. 339 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:41,080 This time will be different. If something happens, I'll let it go. 340 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,240 It's not my business. For example, "Ralph". 341 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,600 She says "Ralph" in her sleep. So what? 342 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:47,880 Ralph? 343 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,400 This cell's for solitary confinement... 344 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,560 ...that's come to be known as "Times Square". 345 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,600 Make sure everyone gets a look. 346 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,520 So who's Ralph? 347 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:03,280 I don't know. More importantly, I don't want to know. 348 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,240 That's good. 349 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,160 Did you and Harriet, you know, last night? 350 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,720 Okay, dirtbag. 351 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:15,160 All you have to know is that Harriet's a sweet and loving person. 352 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,120 Well, that's good. That's nice. 353 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,320 - And yes, we did. - All right! 354 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:26,000 Close it up, close it up, close it up. 355 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,600 This is something the other tour guides won't tell you. 356 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,560 In this cellblock, Machine Gun Kelly... 357 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:39,320 ...had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch". 358 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:45,120 One night, in a jealous rage, Kelly took a makeshift knife, or "shiv"... 359 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:49,240 ...and cut out the bitch's eyes. 360 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:54,000 - Another thing about Harriet I love... - No, no. 361 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,760 And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly... 362 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:09,080 ...the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing... 363 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:14,600 ...into the bitch's ocular cavities. 364 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:20,160 This way to the cafeteria. 365 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,600 Tony, I'm really happy. 366 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,760 Please, don't let me screw this one up. 367 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,120 - I'll try. - Alrighty. 368 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:34,280 - That ocular cavity thing was... - When he mentioned pissing into... 369 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,120 Okay, I got another one. What's worse? 370 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:38,400 The cable goes out and you're left with synchronized swimming... 371 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,280 ...or... 372 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:41,640 Okay. 373 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,560 You're stuck on the Bay Bridge in traffic... 374 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:51,240 ...and you've just had two strong cups of coffee and three bran muffins. 375 00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,920 - No, wait. I have a good one. - Hello! Hello! 376 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,320 What's worse? You go to your favourite restaurant... 377 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,920 ...order your favourite meal, take a bite... 378 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:06,000 ...and under the steak is a scabby Band-Aid. 379 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:08,720 Or... 380 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,400 Or being electrocuted. 381 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,480 And? 382 00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:24,640 That's it. I was electrocuted once. It was horrible. 383 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:29,200 - Oh, well, that's... - That's a crying shame. 384 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,680 Can we get our check, please? Thanks a lot. 385 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,640 Electrocuted. 386 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:36,920 That was funny. 387 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:38,880 - I'll get that. - No, I got it. 388 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,840 - I'll get it. Charlie. - No, it's mine. No, no, no. 389 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,920 - I got it. I insist. - No, no, no. 390 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,560 - "No" infinity. - Come on. 391 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:53,880 - Negatory, good buddy. - You're embarrassing me. 392 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,760 - I'll pick up the check. - Okay. 393 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:01,960 You want to catch a cab? 394 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,160 - I'd like to walk. - Come on, it's raining. 395 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,120 - I'd like to walk. - Me too. 396 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,720 - All right. See you later. - Bye. 397 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,400 Nice meeting you. 398 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,560 - Well, it's officially raining. - It's just a drizzle. 399 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:27,120 You know, I love that you wanted to walk in the rain. 400 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,320 I'm glad you're meeting my parents tomorrow. 401 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,160 You know what, Charlie? 402 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,840 It's strange, but I feel really safe with you. 403 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,480 Like in old movies when people never left each other. 404 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:44,000 I mean, they stayed together forever. 405 00:36:58,240 --> 00:36:59,600 It's a great house. 406 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,360 They moved in the day they were married. 407 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,520 I'm throwing them a 30th wedding anniversary party. 408 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,480 Mom, Dad, we're here. 409 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:19,000 Stuart! 410 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,440 Charlie! 411 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:30,440 Is this the wee Harriet? She's absolutely beautiful. 412 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,480 And you're very, very welcome. 413 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,680 I hope you hold on to this one. 414 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:40,320 You have the face of a wee angel, do you know that? 415 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:44,080 I give! I give! I'm Charlie's father. 416 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,960 Sorry. I'm sorry. You surprised me. I'm sorry. 417 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:52,320 I like this one, Charlie. She's quite a filly. 418 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,120 Charlie tells me you're a butcher. 419 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,240 Yes, I am a butcher. 420 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,120 Do you link your own sausage? 421 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,360 I do. 422 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,080 - Why don't you put your trousers on? - Hold your horses. 423 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:10,000 Head! Pants! Now! 424 00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,320 Why don't you come with me? 425 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,040 I have wonderful photos of when he was a wee baby. 426 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,640 Like one of him shitting his pants at Niagara Falls. 427 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,080 Come on, don't show her the pictures. 428 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:28,800 Lighten up, Charlie. You've got a pickle up your ass again. 429 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,160 I'm going to the washroom, okay? 430 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,480 Evidently, I have a pickle up my ass. 431 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:43,400 - You'll be okay if I leave you? - Fine. Don't worry about me. 432 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,880 Make sure there's enough paper. 433 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:49,520 And Charlie, light a match! 434 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:54,200 Are you away to crap, again? 435 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,480 What a cute baby Charlie was! 436 00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:06,360 You okay in there? You didn't fall in there, did you? 437 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:51,240 I can't believe the resemblance between you and Charlie. 438 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:52,480 Thank you. 439 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:57,400 That's enough about us. Tell me something about yourself. 440 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:01,280 Have you always lived in San Francisco? 441 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:06,600 No, actually I moved around quite a bit. 442 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:23,760 I had a really great time with your family tonight. 443 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,600 Oh, great. 444 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:35,800 You know that martial arts expert friend you had? 445 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,400 Was that here in San Francisco? 446 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:47,640 No, actually it was Miami. 447 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,320 Your family's really great, Charlie. 448 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:55,320 - When your mother took out... - Was that before Atlantic City? 449 00:40:55,560 --> 00:41:01,200 It's a period in my life that I really don't like talking about. 450 00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,640 Charlie. 451 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,360 I hated Atlantic City, Charlie. 452 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:12,600 It's a town full of gamblers and lounge singers. 453 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,480 Ralph? 454 00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:28,520 No. No. 455 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,600 Oh, Ralph. 456 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,440 Have you heard of this? Mrs. X. 457 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:44,160 She murders her husbands, then changes her identity and marries again. 458 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,400 I never heard of it. So what? 459 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,200 I think I'm dating Mrs. X. 460 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,520 Charlie. 461 00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:02,080 Two words. Therapy. 462 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,720 She told me she dated a martial arts expert. 463 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,960 It says that one of the victims was a martial arts expert. 464 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:14,280 Last night, she put a move on my dad and tried to break his neck. 465 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:18,000 About 1000 people have tried to break his neck. 466 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:22,440 If they also say "Ralph" in their sleep, it's a good start. 467 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,360 Look here, "Ralph Elliot." 468 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:29,120 "Plumber from Dallas. Missing since his honeymoon." 469 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,360 - Charlie, you're just getting scared. - Yes. 470 00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,520 - Harriet could be the one. - Yes. 471 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:38,360 You suspect her, because you're scared you'll marry her. 472 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,720 And to you that's death. 473 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,080 Come on, just read it, okay? 474 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:48,400 Read it. For me, just read it? 475 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,680 - "Larry Leonard, the croner..." - Crooner. 476 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:57,640 "... made a name for himself... 477 00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:01,560 ...being able to sing, in six languages, 'Only You.'" 478 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,120 Does Harriet know the words to "Only You"? 479 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:07,640 We haven't reached that critical... 480 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,640 ..."Do you know the words to 'Only You'" phase. 481 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:14,040 - So I'm afraid I'm not much help. - Charlie! 482 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,280 You gotta move past this! 483 00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:20,640 I'm worried. You're living according to the "Weekly World News". 484 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:26,240 It's the 8th highest circulating paper in the world, I'll have you know. 485 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,360 Look, Tony, Mrs. X. 486 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,040 Please, look it up, okay? 487 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,920 For me? Indulge me? 488 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,080 There's no record of deaths. 489 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,920 All three were reported missing, but so were their wives. 490 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:46,480 No picture of any brides. For all we know, they just moved away. 491 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,880 That's true. You're gonna have to realize that. 492 00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:54,800 I would lie to you, but Kathy always tells the truth. 493 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,520 Understood. 494 00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,080 You feel better now? 495 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:03,080 - I guess so. - Good, good. Come on. 496 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,000 I'm Maureen O'Boyle. Welcome to "A Current Affair". 497 00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:13,320 Tonight: Amy, did she or didn't she? 498 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,640 Then, the reptile that took Hollywood by storm. 499 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,960 "Iguana be in pictures." 500 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:23,240 But first, the Justice Department reports an alarming rise... 501 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,560 ... in the number of poisoning murders. 502 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:31,080 And that 87% of the murders occur within the family... 503 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:35,520 ... a scourge which seems to be reaching into every home. 504 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:39,160 Steve Dunleavy examines poisoning murders. Steve. 505 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,520 The most common poisonings occur between couples. 506 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,240 For reasons as varied as insurance fraud, jealousy... 507 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:50,800 ... and pure psychopathic behaviour. 508 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,320 I have a surprise for you. 509 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:57,640 What is it? 510 00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,760 It's a health shake. 511 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,200 I made it especially for you. 512 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,240 Try it. 513 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,520 Thank you, no. Thanks. 514 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,840 You'll like it, Charlie. Just take a sip. 515 00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:18,080 I have kitten breath. I'm just gonna go brush my teeth. 516 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,440 Why don't you just taste it? 517 00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,840 It's got strawberries. Taste it. 518 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:24,800 I spent 20 minutes making it. 519 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:30,600 - One little sip. It wouldn't hurt... - I'm just gonna go. 520 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,600 Fine. Forget it. Forget it. 521 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,360 I'm sorry. 522 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,640 That's okay. 523 00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:28,360 I'm just sensitive. 524 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:32,960 I mean, you didn't drink my shake. So what? Right? 525 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:37,440 Look, you spent a half an hour on it. I understand. 526 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:39,280 - Let's scratch. - It's depressing. 527 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:40,840 - Scratch. - Scratch? 528 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:41,920 Scratch. 529 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,480 Come on. Let's do a little scratching. 530 00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:47,720 There you go. Scratching. 531 00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,880 - Golden Gate Bridge. - Golden. 532 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,920 - Presidio. Union Square. - Got it. 533 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:54,640 - Little Japan. 534 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:55,480 - Got it. 535 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:57,200 Union Square. 536 00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:01,000 - Oakland. Oakland. - Oakland. 537 00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:03,920 Can you reach around and get Coit Tower? 538 00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,080 - San Andreas Fault. - Charlie. 539 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,880 You know what I like best about you? 540 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:14,160 I can tell you anything, and you don't judge me. 541 00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,960 Have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff... 542 00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,280 ...or subway platform with someone... 543 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,800 ...and you thought just for a split second: 544 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:27,920 What if I pushed him? 545 00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:32,240 I follow the Judeo-Christian ethic of "Thou shalt not kill". 546 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,040 - But that's just me. - I'm just making a point... 547 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,720 ...of how many times we trust people with our lives. 548 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,280 I mean, look at us. 549 00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,360 Look how vulnerable we are, sleeping. 550 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:48,000 I could do anything to you in your sleep. 551 00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:49,520 Like what? 552 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:51,480 Anything. 553 00:47:51,720 --> 00:47:55,200 You're on your side, asleep, I could... 554 00:47:55,440 --> 00:48:00,040 ...stick a needle in your... 555 00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,560 Charlie! Jesus! 556 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:08,200 I'm showing you we have a good relationship! 557 00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,200 I'm sorry, but I have an ear thing. 558 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:15,320 In an episode of "Night Gallery", this guy gets an earwig. 559 00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,600 They said the good news is, we got the earwig... 560 00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,760 ...but the bad news is, it was a female. 561 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,440 - I'm sorry. - Good night. 562 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,560 - I have an ear thing. - Good night. 563 00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,080 I'm sorry. 564 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:34,240 - I'm a human blanket. - Get off. Just, good night. 565 00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,440 Well, good night. 566 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:01,840 Can I help you? 567 00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,240 I'd like to place an announcement. 568 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,080 It's my parents' 30th anniversary. 569 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,320 That's $4.50 per word... 570 00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,880 ...and you've got a choice of standard or bold. 571 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,400 You having a busy week, Frank? 572 00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:21,240 No, just these two. It's been dead around here. 573 00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:24,880 I got this tourist, heart attack on a cable car. 574 00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:29,440 Guy left his heart in San Francisco. 575 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,680 That's a real person you're talking about. 576 00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,000 All right, I'm sorry. 577 00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:42,760 There's another one. San Francisco plumber: Elliot, Ralph. 578 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,120 Disappeared four months ago. 579 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,000 The body was found in a sewer. 580 00:49:48,240 --> 00:49:53,520 Guy takes his job too seriously, life goes down the drain. 581 00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:57,920 Did they mention his wife? 582 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:02,720 I know that we're talking about real people here, so I'm sorry. 583 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,360 Seriously, did they mention the wife? 584 00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:09,920 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to joke about other people's lives. 585 00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,560 I'm serious. Did they mention...? 586 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,960 You win, okay? I'm a bad person. 587 00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,080 - Take it easy. - No, he's saying I'm a shit. 588 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,720 Did they mention the wife? 589 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:22,520 Did they mention the wife! 590 00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:26,960 No! They didn't mention the wife! You happy? 591 00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:30,760 Yes, I'm insensitive! I'm a very insensitive man! 592 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:37,640 Stop! Look at the insensitive man! That's why they pay you! 593 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:42,000 He was my ride home. 594 00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:45,840 Understood. 595 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,600 Why did you have to see me so urgently? 596 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,680 You couldn't come to my place? 597 00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,000 It's just safer here. 598 00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:59,040 What? Charlie. 599 00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,160 I'm sorry. 600 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:06,000 I think you're a terrific woman. 601 00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:10,960 I just don't think we should see each other. 602 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:16,720 Why? And tell me the truth. 603 00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,920 I'm afraid that you're gonna k... Leave me. 604 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,600 I'm gonna cleave you? 605 00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,560 - What does that mean? - No, leave me. 606 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,520 That you'll reject me. 607 00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:32,640 So I just thought I'd do a preemptive strike. 608 00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:36,120 So you're rejecting me? 609 00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,280 I didn't mean to hurt you. 610 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:43,240 I never wanted to hurt you. 611 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,200 Don't worry, you haven't. 612 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:50,040 At least you left early on. 613 00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:57,040 So that's it, then? 614 00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:03,840 Because I gotta get back to work. 615 00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,920 Woman Woe man 616 00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,800 Whoa man 617 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,400 We had love not just sex Is she Mrs. X? 618 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:58,840 I had to run for my life 619 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:09,920 Jane, get me off of this crazy thing 620 00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:13,440 Called love 621 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:47,840 Hello! 622 00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:52,160 Not that it matters, but I thought you'd like to know... 623 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,680 ...somebody admitted murdering Ralph. 624 00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:56,920 What about the others? 625 00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,280 She just confessed to the one. 626 00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:04,680 Anyway, crime to stop. Gotta go. Catch you later. 627 00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,440 - It's me, Charlie. - Go away. 628 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:30,200 I gotta talk to you. I made a big mistake. I'm an idiot. 629 00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:32,360 I'll go into therapy, okay? 630 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:39,040 I'll go twice a week. I don't know if insurance will cover it, but... 631 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,000 What is it? 632 00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:45,440 Hi, Charlie. 633 00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:56,240 I don't want to lose you. 634 00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:58,160 You didn't. You rejected me. 635 00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:03,480 Okay, I'm un-rejecting you. 636 00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:08,000 You'll do it again, Charlie. You'll do it again. 637 00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:12,640 No, I'm not gonna do it again. 638 00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,800 Look, I got scared, okay? 639 00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:22,240 Things were going really good and then I just got scared. 640 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:29,520 I love you. 641 00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:33,240 I love you too. 642 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:41,640 But you blew it, Charlie. You blew it. 643 00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:04,840 Harriet, Harriet 644 00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,800 Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis 645 00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,240 Beautiful, bemus�d 646 00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,400 Bellicose butcher 647 00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,720 Untrusting 648 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:21,800 Unknowing 649 00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:26,480 Unlov�d 650 00:56:31,720 --> 00:56:34,680 He wants you back He screams into the night air 651 00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:40,440 Like a fireman going to a window That has no fire 652 00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:46,600 Except the passion of his heart 653 00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,680 I am lonely 654 00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:53,160 It's really hard 655 00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:57,160 This poem sucks 656 00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,840 I'm sorry I didn't trust you. 657 00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:43,240 Harriet, somebody's downstairs to see you. 658 00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:48,160 She'll be down in a moment. And could you bring the car around? 659 00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:50,280 Thank you so much. Bye-bye. 660 00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:53,960 Charlie, come here. I want you to meet a friend. 661 00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,600 This is Ralph. 662 00:57:56,840 --> 00:58:00,440 Ralph? Ralph? This is Ralph? 663 00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,840 This is Ralph? 664 00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:08,760 This is Charlie. 665 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:12,120 - Great to meet you. - No, it's great to meet you. 666 00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:14,960 Yes, I love you so much. 667 00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,960 Oh, God! 668 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:21,480 I'm naked, aren't I? 669 00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:27,320 Yes. Yes, you are naked. 670 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:39,680 I was just naked then. Very nude. 671 00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:44,240 Nice to meet you and call me? 672 00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:47,640 I will. 673 00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:17,280 Shut it! 674 00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:23,720 I'd like to propose a toast. 675 00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:27,640 To my wife, May. 676 00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:31,960 Thirty years ago today, May and I were married. 677 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:35,680 Some of you were there. Some weren't born. 678 00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,080 And some of you are now dead! 679 00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:44,480 But we both said, "I do", and we haven't agreed on a thing since. 680 00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:46,520 That's true. 681 00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,000 But I'm glad I married you... 682 00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:53,920 ...because it could have been worse. 683 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,960 And besides... 684 00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:01,400 ...I still love you. 685 01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:10,560 Thank you. 686 01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:20,040 Tony, would you like to dance? 687 01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:25,040 Let's dance. 688 01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:34,640 It must be a great feeling to have... 689 01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:35,880 You okay? 690 01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,960 No, I'm not. 691 01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:44,280 Marry me. 692 01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,120 No. 693 01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,640 Please? 694 01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:52,480 Why not just live together? 695 01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:56,360 We could live together first. Let's just live together. 696 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:59,800 Because I love you. We should get married... 697 01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:03,720 ...and spend the next 30 years of our life together. 698 01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:09,120 I want you to have my children. And I want you to have your children. 699 01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:14,560 That sounds like an awful lot of children, but... 700 01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:17,560 I love you. 701 01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,440 I need you. 702 01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:23,560 Let's just get married. Okay? 703 01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:25,960 Harriet... 704 01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:27,400 ...be my wife. 705 01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:31,280 All right, everyone, shut your cake hole! 706 01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:36,200 I'd like to make a toast to my son, Charlie. 707 01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,280 Thanks for throwing this great party. 708 01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:43,400 I hope you have the same great 30 years that we've had. 709 01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:47,240 To Charlie! 710 01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:52,720 Yes. 711 01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:53,960 You will? 712 01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:57,840 Let's get married, Charlie. 713 01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:07,600 Now, Mr. MacKenzie, if you will take this woman to be your wife... 714 01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:12,280 ...through thick and thin, for better or for worse... 715 01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,640 ...please say "I do". 716 01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:15,960 I do. 717 01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:20,840 Now, Harriet, if you will take this man through good times and bad... 718 01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:27,440 ...forever and ever as your husband, please say "I do". 719 01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:42,440 I do. 720 01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:47,520 Now, Charlie, kiss the beautiful bride. 721 01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:14,240 Let's get pissed! 722 01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:53,240 Hang a solo! 723 01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:15,920 We have a piper who's down. It's all right, he's just pissed. 724 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:21,880 We have a piper down. I repeat, a piper is down. 725 01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:26,800 This is such a great party. 726 01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:28,880 - It is. - The marriage was beautiful. 727 01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:30,280 - It was. - It was great. 728 01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,800 Yeah. She's great, isn't she? 729 01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:35,240 She's the best. She's incredible. 730 01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:39,160 You've been such a chicken, and finally, you met the one. 731 01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:43,080 How could you think she was a killer? 732 01:04:58,640 --> 01:05:04,640 Come here, Charlie. Come stand by me, Charlie. 733 01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:17,400 Wait till you see this place. It's called Poets' Corner. 734 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:21,600 A lot of the Beat poets used to go there. 735 01:06:27,960 --> 01:06:30,160 You're really quiet. 736 01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,840 Oh, I'm just thinking. 737 01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:35,080 Oh, okay. Well... 738 01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:39,080 Why don't I do the talking for you, all right? 739 01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,200 Hi, my name is Harriet. 740 01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:45,320 Hi, Harriet. How's it going? Good, good, I suppose. 741 01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:49,000 I think you're great, Charlie. Everything you do is art. 742 01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:53,640 You're a sex machine. Get on the scene with the sex machine. 743 01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:58,440 Thank you very much. You're the best husband I ever had... 744 01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:01,200 Why did you just say that? 745 01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:02,840 It was a joke. 746 01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,200 Why did you say it? 747 01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,120 I thought it might be funny. 748 01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:11,760 Nothing, I just think you're a great person. That's all. 749 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,600 What? 750 01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:19,200 - You're the best. - No, no, no! Watch out! 751 01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,600 I hear you've been working the Ralph Elliot case. 752 01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:32,120 - Yes, captain. - Don't "yes" me. 753 01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,320 This is strictly homicide. 754 01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:35,720 I got a friend... 755 01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:39,200 We all got these friends. I'm warning you. 756 01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:44,080 Back off, Italian boy. Keep away from this. It's too big. 757 01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:45,760 Wait a minute. 758 01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,920 Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. What's the news? 759 01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:52,960 You want to hear news? Here's the news. 760 01:07:53,200 --> 01:07:56,240 The lady that confessed to Elliot's murder has... 761 01:07:56,480 --> 01:07:57,960 ...confessed to other crimes. 762 01:07:58,200 --> 01:07:59,360 I knew she would. 763 01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:01,960 To the murders of Abraham Lincoln... 764 01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:06,200 ...Warren G. Harding, and Julius Caesar. She's a nutcase. 765 01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:10,120 Oh, my God! I gotta go. 766 01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:16,240 Screw this up, and you'll be writing parking tickets forever. 767 01:08:16,480 --> 01:08:21,400 Captain, I won't let you down. 768 01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:27,360 Good for you. That was better. 769 01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:29,360 - Yeah? - It was fantastic. 770 01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:32,000 - The beginning felt good. - It was great. 771 01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:33,600 Too much in the end. 772 01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:35,160 No, it was terrific. 773 01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:38,280 - I need to save a life. - I'll work on it. 774 01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:40,240 Work on it, it was terrific. 775 01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:42,240 It was a big improvement. 776 01:08:42,480 --> 01:08:45,200 Thanks. 777 01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:05,080 That is Ralph Elliot's wife. 778 01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:10,120 Of course her hair was much shorter then. 779 01:09:10,240 --> 01:09:12,720 She's gained weight since then... 780 01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:15,560 ...but it's definitely her. 781 01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:19,480 Yeah, that's her. He was really in love with her... 782 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:25,000 ...but I tell you, she was fun, and smart. Doll-face too. 783 01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:41,960 Thank you very much. 784 01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:47,320 This is really cool. 785 01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:48,960 Hi. 786 01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:51,760 Mr. And Mrs. MacKenzie, enjoy your honeymoon. 787 01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,680 When you leave, it'll be far too soon. 788 01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:56,760 That's great. 789 01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:00,640 Four nights. Your dinner reservations are at 9:00. 790 01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:01,760 Sounds great. 791 01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:05,400 Put candles by the bed. With a storm, we lose power. 792 01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:08,240 That's cool. Did you hear that? A storm. 793 01:10:08,480 --> 01:10:12,120 A storm. We'll be snugly inside and... 794 01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:14,920 You okay? 795 01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:20,360 I have a headache. Excuse me, do you have a drugstore? 796 01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:25,880 - I need aspirin. - Up the stairs, Mrs. MacKenzie. 797 01:10:26,440 --> 01:10:29,640 Don't move. 798 01:10:32,360 --> 01:10:34,560 - You think she has a headache? - What? 799 01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:38,240 Nothing. Here's your key. The Robbie Burns room. 800 01:10:38,480 --> 01:10:41,960 Oh, thanks. Thank you. 801 01:10:47,040 --> 01:10:50,080 - The circuits are down. - Keep on trying. 802 01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:54,920 Tell the chief I chartered a plane. 803 01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:57,680 - Hey, "paisan"! - What? 804 01:10:57,920 --> 01:11:01,600 Screw up, I'll kick your spaghetti butt back to Milan. 805 01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:03,280 Not now. Not now. 806 01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:08,720 - Too many ethnic slurs? - It's not "paisan", it's "paisan". 807 01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:12,280 Hey! "Paisan." 808 01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:45,240 How long is it gonna take us to get there? 809 01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:49,680 It shouldn't take very long. 810 01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:54,040 Actually, I have no concept of time. 811 01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:55,920 Jesus, is this dangerous? 812 01:11:56,160 --> 01:12:01,960 No. Well, there's chance in everything. 813 01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:04,440 You've done this before, right? 814 01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:08,520 Oh, yeah, yeah. I do this all the time. 815 01:12:08,760 --> 01:12:12,920 I've never done it at night. 816 01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:29,400 Mr. And Mrs. MacKenzie, glad to see you. 817 01:12:29,640 --> 01:12:32,120 Follow me. 818 01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:44,120 How do you know where you're going? 819 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:46,200 Instruments. Instruments. 820 01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:49,280 Oh, yeah? Yeah? What's that? 821 01:12:49,520 --> 01:12:55,720 That's the artificial horizon, which is better than the actual horizon. 822 01:12:56,320 --> 01:13:02,440 You know, I'm gonna wash my hands. All right? I love you. 823 01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:27,520 Good evening. 824 01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:48,440 Wake up! 825 01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:52,440 Oh, man, I was having an amazing dream. 826 01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:56,880 I don't care about your dream! Land the plane! 827 01:13:57,960 --> 01:14:02,560 I was just born, and I was eight-and-a-half months premature. 828 01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:05,400 - The doctors were freaking out. - Shut up. 829 01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:09,240 Did I already tell you this dream? 830 01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:13,840 Can I have your attention? I have a few announcements. 831 01:14:14,080 --> 01:14:16,840 Celebrating their 25th anniversary tonight... 832 01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:19,480 ...Mr. And Mrs. Seymour Levenstein. 833 01:14:19,720 --> 01:14:22,400 How about a hand for them? 834 01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:24,080 Thank you, thank you. 835 01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:27,080 Twenty-five years ago, they were here. 836 01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:31,360 Speaking of new couples, Charlie and Harriet MacKenzie. 837 01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:35,160 - They look great. - There's a phone call for you. 838 01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:36,680 It is quite urgent. 839 01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:41,160 Oh, thank you. Sorry. Hello. 840 01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:45,000 - Charlie, you okay? - Couldn't be better. 841 01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:48,600 Charlie, listen to me. Harriet is Mrs. X. 842 01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:51,600 She killed those men. I got a picture. 843 01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:54,760 It's her, Charlie. She's the murderer. 844 01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:57,560 I called the police. It'll take a while. 845 01:14:57,800 --> 01:15:01,040 Just stay where you are. 846 01:15:01,320 --> 01:15:02,520 Charlie? 847 01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:05,600 Hold on one second. What should I do? 848 01:15:05,840 --> 01:15:07,880 When the time comes, you'll know. 849 01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:11,680 Thanks, thank you. 850 01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:15,600 Hello, hello, hello?! 851 01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:18,920 Charlie? Charlie?! 852 01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:20,720 - Hello! - What happened? 853 01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:23,520 The phone died! I was talking, and it died. 854 01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:27,760 It's common. It will be out until tomorrow. 855 01:15:28,000 --> 01:15:29,240 What happened? 856 01:15:29,480 --> 01:15:32,000 Nothing. The phone lines went dead. 857 01:15:32,240 --> 01:15:34,400 We wish a long and beautiful life. 858 01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:39,800 We want to play The Platters, "Only You". 859 01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:44,440 You can't go. You have to wait for the wedding dance. 860 01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:48,520 We got a lot of traditions here. 861 01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:58,560 Stop! Excuse me. I'm with the San Francisco Police Department. 862 01:15:58,800 --> 01:16:03,240 I need to commandeer this vehicle. 863 01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:04,800 No. 864 01:16:05,040 --> 01:16:06,320 What do you mean, "No"? 865 01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:11,480 I know you don't have the right to commandeer my vehicle. 866 01:16:11,720 --> 01:16:15,480 Please, can I commandeer this vehicle? 867 01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:17,560 No. 868 01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:22,120 You're not gonna bend on this thing, are you? 869 01:16:22,320 --> 01:16:24,800 No. 870 01:16:27,440 --> 01:16:29,000 - Please. - Go ahead. 871 01:16:29,240 --> 01:16:32,880 No, I don't want to. Charlie. 872 01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:48,320 Help me! I've married a... 873 01:16:48,400 --> 01:16:52,440 ...wonderful person who I love and adore. Who I want... 874 01:16:52,680 --> 01:16:54,800 They've had enough of this crowd. 875 01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:57,000 They have better things to do. 876 01:16:57,240 --> 01:17:01,360 Let's put them in the honeymoon chair. 877 01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:09,240 - We did it on our honeymoon. - It's just fun. 878 01:17:09,960 --> 01:17:13,880 No, I haven't had my dessert yet. 879 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:18,880 To the room! To the room! 880 01:17:30,920 --> 01:17:33,960 Have a good night. 881 01:17:34,240 --> 01:17:36,000 Stay for a nightcap? 882 01:17:36,240 --> 01:17:38,000 No. You two want to be alone. 883 01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:40,960 No, really. Stay for a nightcap. 884 01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:44,280 I really shouldn't. 885 01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:48,400 Stay for a nightcap! 886 01:17:55,720 --> 01:18:00,920 Charlie, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. 887 01:18:01,160 --> 01:18:02,800 Harriet, I, I... 888 01:18:03,040 --> 01:18:07,480 Charlie, I've been married before. 889 01:18:07,720 --> 01:18:11,760 - Harriet, I already know that. - You know about my husbands? 890 01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:14,120 Yes. 891 01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:16,640 - Stay away from me! - What are you doing? 892 01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:18,760 Come on. Stay away from me. 893 01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:22,800 You don't understand. Give me the axe! 894 01:18:23,040 --> 01:18:25,080 - Don't go! - Get off me! 895 01:18:25,320 --> 01:18:28,880 - Charlie! Don't go! - Get off! 896 01:18:39,040 --> 01:18:41,640 Would you mind not doing that? 897 01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:43,280 This bothers you? 898 01:18:43,520 --> 01:18:48,920 No, it's one of my favourite things. 899 01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:56,360 Don't go! Charlie! Charlie! 900 01:18:59,440 --> 01:19:03,040 Hello? Hello?! 901 01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:11,800 "Dear Harriet. I just can't handle the commitment." 902 01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:15,600 "It's too hard. I'm leaving you." 903 01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:19,840 "Love, Charlie"? I didn't write this. 904 01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:21,800 What the fuck?! 905 01:19:22,040 --> 01:19:23,320 Rose! 906 01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:25,880 What's happening?! Charlie, open the door! 907 01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:28,120 - Rose tried to kill me. - What? 908 01:19:28,360 --> 01:19:31,080 Shut up! I wrote this note! 909 01:19:31,320 --> 01:19:33,320 You're not to be here when... 910 01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:36,600 ...this note has been placed on the desk! 911 01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:40,720 Do you understand me? You took her away from me, Charlie. 912 01:19:40,960 --> 01:19:42,200 Like all the rest. 913 01:19:42,440 --> 01:19:44,920 I have had it! 914 01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:51,080 You are going to die. 915 01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:54,360 Would you mind waiting? 916 01:19:54,600 --> 01:19:57,520 I may need you to help if I make an arrest. 917 01:19:57,760 --> 01:19:59,120 I'll need a ride... 918 01:19:59,360 --> 01:20:02,920 Shucks. Thank you. 919 01:20:03,320 --> 01:20:08,760 What are you doing?! Charlie, be careful. 920 01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:17,080 Run, Charlie! 921 01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:21,320 Stop it! Stop this, Rose! Help! 922 01:20:21,560 --> 01:20:25,080 Somebody! Help! 923 01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:29,240 Charlie! 924 01:20:31,800 --> 01:20:36,760 Is that you? Help! Hurry. 925 01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:50,800 Hurry! I'm in here! Who is it?! 926 01:20:51,040 --> 01:20:55,120 Help! Who's there?! Charlie?! 927 01:20:55,720 --> 01:21:01,080 I'm in the closet. Come here. Tony! Open the closet. 928 01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:05,360 Charlie! 929 01:21:10,840 --> 01:21:12,160 Where are you going? 930 01:21:12,400 --> 01:21:15,760 We gotta go on the roof. Charlie and Rose are on the roof. 931 01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:17,160 Charlie's on the roof! 932 01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:20,760 - What're you doing? - Shut up! 933 01:22:00,240 --> 01:22:04,040 Let's just take this down a notch. 934 01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:08,360 What you're saying is that Rose killed your husbands... 935 01:22:08,600 --> 01:22:11,440 ...forged notes to make you think they left? 936 01:22:11,680 --> 01:22:17,400 Yes. Listen, that's them up on the roof. Listen! 937 01:22:17,640 --> 01:22:21,200 You don't get it, do you? 938 01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:27,360 We can talk here, or we can talk about it downtown. 939 01:23:23,320 --> 01:23:27,160 - Charlie, I'm coming up! - Hang on! 940 01:23:27,560 --> 01:23:30,560 Charlie. 941 01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:43,880 Charlie, be careful! 942 01:24:14,320 --> 01:24:16,800 Rose! 943 01:24:30,160 --> 01:24:32,840 San Francisco police! 944 01:24:33,760 --> 01:24:37,320 I got her, Charlie. I got her! 945 01:24:37,800 --> 01:24:40,320 Don't let me fall! 946 01:24:40,560 --> 01:24:43,040 Oh, sorry. 947 01:25:01,440 --> 01:25:05,240 Rose, jailbird 948 01:25:05,520 --> 01:25:09,240 Happy in her cage No longer full of rage 949 01:25:09,480 --> 01:25:12,360 She roosts 950 01:25:16,640 --> 01:25:20,400 Harriet, sweet Harriet 951 01:25:20,640 --> 01:25:22,080 You acted cuckoo 952 01:25:22,320 --> 01:25:27,440 'Cause you thought I would leave you Sweet bird 953 01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:36,480 Harriet, sweet Harriet 954 01:25:36,560 --> 01:25:41,720 So knowing, so trusting 955 01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:45,760 So lov�d 956 01:25:49,240 --> 01:25:54,600 Harriet, sweet Harriet 957 01:26:22,640 --> 01:26:28,640 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 958 01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:39,640 Downloaded From www.MySubtitles.com