1 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,700 This is a story about a man named Harold Crick. 2 00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:00,200 And his wristwatch. 3 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,400 Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers... 4 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:07,300 ...endless calculations and remarkably few words. 5 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,400 And his wristwatch said even less. 6 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:15,000 Every weekday, for 12 years... 7 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:20,600 ...Harold would brush each of his 32 teeth 76 times. 8 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,700 Thirty-eight times back and forth. 9 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:27,600 Thirty-eight times up and down. 10 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,700 Every weekday, for 12 years... 11 00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:35,900 ...Harold would tie his tie in a single Windsor knot instead of the double... 12 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,200 ...thereby saving up to 43 seconds. 13 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:44,700 His wristwatch thought the single Windsor made his neck look fat... 14 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,500 ...but said nothing. 15 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,200 Every weekday, for 12 years... 16 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:57,000 ...Harold would run at a rate of nearly 57 steps per block for six blocks... 17 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,600 ...barely catching the 8: 17 Kronecker bus. 18 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,800 His wristwatch would delight... 19 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,900 ...in the feeling of the crisp wind rushing over its face. 20 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,600 And every weekday, for 12 years... 21 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,100 ...Harold would review 7. 134 tax files... 22 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:25,200 ...as a senior agent for the Internal Revenue Service. 23 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:29,400 Regs section 1.469-2 (B) (i), Diane. Thanks. 24 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,900 Good morning. IRS. 25 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:35,700 Harold, 89 times 1417? 26 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,600 126,113. 27 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:39,800 That adds up. 28 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:44,400 Only taking a 45. 7-minute lunch break... 29 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,900 ...and a 4.3-minute coffee break... 30 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:52,200 ...timed precisely by his wristwatch. 31 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:53,800 Oh, great. 32 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,300 Yeah, we'll go to Mullen's or we'II.... 33 00:02:56,900 --> 00:03:01,000 Beyond that, Harold lived a life of solitude. 34 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,300 He would walk home alone. 35 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,600 He would eat alone. 36 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:20,000 And at precisely 11: 13 every night... 37 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,000 ...Harold would go to bed alone... 38 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:28,000 ...placing his wristwatch to rest on the nightstand beside him. 39 00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:33,100 That was, of course, before Wednesday. 40 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:40,000 On Wednesday, Harold's wristwatch changed everything. 41 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,100 Oh, my God, you got it? 42 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,500 I got it. 43 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,400 I got it. 44 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,600 If one had asked Harold, he would have said... 45 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:11,600 ...that this particular Wednesday was exactly like all the Wednesdays prior. 46 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,900 And he began it the same way he-- 47 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:27,900 And he began it the same way he always did. 48 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,300 Hello? 49 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:45,100 He began it the same way he always did. 50 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,000 When others' minds would-- 51 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,500 Hello? Is someone there? 52 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:59,500 When others' minds would fantasize about their upcoming day... 53 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:03,800 ...or even try to grip onto the final moments of their dreams... 54 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,900 ...Harold just counted brushstrokes. 55 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:12,800 All right, who just said, "Harold just counted brushstrokes"? 56 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,300 And how do you know I'm counting brushstrokes? 57 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,400 Hello? 58 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,800 It was remarkable how the simple, modest-- 59 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,400 It was remarkable h-- 60 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,900 It was remarkable how the simple, modest elements of Harold's life... 61 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,300 ...so often taken for granted... 62 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:44,900 ...would become the catalyst for an entirely new life. 63 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,600 Harold ran for the bus... 64 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,100 ...his stiff leather shoes making a terrible squeaking sound... 65 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:54,000 ...as they flexed against the asphalt. 66 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:03,000 And though this was an extraordinary day... 67 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:07,100 ...a day to be remembered for the rest of Harold's life... 68 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:10,100 ...Harold just thought it was a Wednesday. 69 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,600 I'm sorry, did you hear that? 70 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,600 The voice. Did you hear it? "Harold thought it was a Wednesday"? 71 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,300 Don't worry, it is Wednesday. 72 00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:23,500 No, no, did you hear it? "Harold just thought it was a Wednesday"? 73 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,000 -Who's Harold? -I'm Harold. 74 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,800 Harold, it's okay, it's Wednesday. 75 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,400 No, no, I.... 76 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,600 Never mind. 77 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,600 Harold couldn't concentrate on his work. 78 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:38,800 Excuse me, Harold? 79 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,900 His thoughts were scattered. His mind elsewhere. 80 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,500 Sorry. 81 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:46,500 Someone here should be able to fix-- Hold on a second. 82 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:50,000 Hey, Harold. What's 67 times 453? 83 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,000 When a coworker asked the product of 67 and 453... 84 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,400 You know what? I can't think while you're talking. 85 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,100 ...he drew a blank. 86 00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,200 -What? -What? 87 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:03,600 -Harold quickly answered, "30,351. " -What? Oh, nothing. 30,351. 88 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,100 Despite the answer really being 31,305. 89 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:11,900 Wait, wait, wait, 31,305. Sorry. 90 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,900 Dude, I just totally caught some insurance adjuster... 91 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,800 ...claiming his jet ski as a work vehicle. 92 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,000 I'll tell you, it is a shame... 93 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,200 ...that they don't give out an auditor of the year award. 94 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,800 Dude? 95 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:33,100 You okay? 96 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,400 Dave, I'm being followed. 97 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,600 How are you being followed? You're not moving. 98 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:46,700 -It's by a voice. -What? 99 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,700 I'm being followed by a woman's voice. 100 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,200 Okay. 101 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,900 What is she saying? 102 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,500 She's narrating. 103 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,200 Harold, you're staring at boxes, what is she narrating? 104 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,700 No, no, no. I had to stop filing. 105 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,700 Watch. Watch. Listen. Listen. 106 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:17,200 The sound the paper made against the folder... 107 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:21,700 ...had the same tone as a wave scraping against sand. 108 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,500 And when Harold thought about it... 109 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,000 ...he listened to enough waves every day... 110 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:32,000 ...to constitute what he imagined to be a deep and endless ocean. 111 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,800 Did you hear that? 112 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,400 You mean you filing? 113 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,200 No, no, no, the voice. 114 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,500 No. 115 00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:46,300 Frightening part is sometimes I do imagine a deep and endless ocean. 116 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,700 What ocean? 117 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,900 The one made by the sound-- Forget it. 118 00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:54,100 New audits. Have a good day. 119 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,600 Thank you. 120 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:03,400 All right, we got a baker and a securities trader. 121 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,100 Maybe you should take the baker. 122 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,400 -Okay? -Okay. 123 00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,200 Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! 124 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:25,500 -You miscreant. -I understand. 125 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:30,100 Oh, get bent, taxman! 126 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,400 -Taxman! -Taxman! 127 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,400 Taxman! 128 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,100 Go home! 129 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:42,000 Listen, is there somewhere else we could talk about this? 130 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:48,000 No. We're gonna talk about this right here. 131 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:53,800 Okay. It says, the file, that you only paid part of your taxes for last year. 132 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,100 -That's right. -Looks like only 78 percent. 133 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:58,900 Yep. 134 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,300 So you did it on purpose? 135 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,800 Yep. 136 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,800 So you must have been expecting an audit? 137 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,600 I was expecting a fine... 138 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,400 ...or a sharp reprimand. 139 00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:17,700 A reprimand? This isn't boarding school, Ms. Pascal. 140 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,500 You stole from the government. 141 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:25,600 No, I didn't steal from the government. I just didn't pay you entirely. 142 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,700 Ms. Pascal, you can't just not pay your taxes. 143 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,500 Yes, I can. 144 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,500 You can if you wanna get audited. 145 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:37,200 Only if I recognize your right to audit me, Mr. Crick. 146 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,100 Ms. Pascal, I'm right here auditing you. 147 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,600 Now I have to go over your past three years... 148 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,700 ...to make sure that's all you haven't paid. 149 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,300 Fine. 150 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,700 Actually, you know, it's not fine. 151 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:54,800 Listen, I'm a big supporter of fixing potholes... 152 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,400 ...and erecting swing sets and building shelters. 153 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,800 I am more than happy to pay those taxes. 154 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,500 I'm just not such a big fan of the percentage... 155 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:10,300 ...that the government uses for national defense... 156 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:14,000 ...corporate bailouts and campaign discretionary funds. 157 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,800 So I didn't pay those taxes. 158 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,600 I think, actually... 159 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,500 ...I sent a letter to that effect with my return. 160 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,900 Would it be the letter that begins, "Dear Imperialist Swine"? 161 00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,300 Yes. 162 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:35,000 Ms. Pascal, what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist? 163 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:40,600 -You mean am I a member of--? -An anarchist group, yes. 164 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:44,000 Anarchists have a group? 165 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,600 I believe so. Sure. 166 00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,300 They assemble? 167 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,800 I don't know. 168 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:55,500 Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose? 169 00:11:55,900 --> 00:12:00,000 It was difficult for Harold to imagine Ms. Pascal as a revolutionary. 170 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,500 -Not now. -Her thin arms... 171 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:03,700 -What? -...hoisting protest signs. 172 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:05,400 -Her long shapely legs... -Nothing. 173 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,300 ...dashing from tear gas. 174 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,900 Harold wasn't prone to fantasies... 175 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:14,700 ...and so he tried his best to remain professional. 176 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,300 But, of course, failed. 177 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:20,900 He couldn't help but imagine Ms. Pascal... 178 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:25,100 ...stroking the side of his face with the soft blade of her finger. 179 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,900 He couldn't help but imagine her immersed in a tub... 180 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,500 ...shaving her legs. 181 00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:36,400 And he couldn't help but imagine her naked... 182 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,100 -...stretched across his bed. -Mr. Crick? 183 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:44,600 -Mr. Crick. -Yes, what is it? 184 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,500 You're staring at my tits. 185 00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:52,800 I wa--? I don't think I was. I don't think I would do that. 186 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,600 If I was, I can assure you... 187 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:58,000 ...it was only as a representative of the United States government. 188 00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:04,500 Sorry, I'm just having issues today. So I'll be back on Tuesday. 189 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:11,500 Harold suddenly found himself beleaguered and exasperated... 190 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:14,100 -...outside the bakery... -Shut up! 191 00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,300 ...cursing the heavens in futility. 192 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,700 No, I'm not, I'm cursing you, you stupid voice! 193 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,900 So shut up and leave me alone! 194 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,900 Hey, watch it! 195 00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,200 Excuse me. 196 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,900 Excuse me. 197 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,800 Are you Miss Eiffel? 198 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,500 -Yes. -Excellent. 199 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,200 May I ask what you're doing? 200 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,300 Research. 201 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,400 -Oh, am I interrupting? -Yes. 202 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,500 I'm sorry. I'm Penny Escher. 203 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,500 I'm the assistant your publishers hired. 204 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,800 -The spy. -The assistant. 205 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,500 I provide the same services as a secretary. 206 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,700 I don't need a secretary. 207 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:59,500 Then I will have to find some other way of occupying my time. 208 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,300 Like watching me like a vulture... 209 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,300 ...because the publishers think I have writer's block, right? 210 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,100 Do you have writer's block? 211 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,200 Are these pages? 212 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,800 They're letters. To me. 213 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,400 -Are you writing back? -I don't respond to letters. 214 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:21,700 And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes? 215 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,400 No, they came pre-smoked. 216 00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:27,400 Yeah, they said you were funny. 217 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,100 What do you think about leaping off a building? 218 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,000 I don't think about leaping off buildings. 219 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,000 -Yes, you do. -No. I try to think of nice things. 220 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,100 Everyone thinks about leaping off buildings. 221 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:46,000 Well, I certainly don't think about leaping off of a building. 222 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,900 They say-- 223 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,100 I read this in this fantastically depressing book. 224 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:06,800 --that when you jump from a building... 225 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,300 ...it's rarely the impact that actually kills you. 226 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,900 Well, I'm sure it doesn't help. 227 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:17,300 There's a photograph in the book called The Leaper. 228 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,000 It's old, but it's beautiful. 229 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:23,700 From above the corpse of a woman who'd just leapt to her death. 230 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:27,900 There's blood around her head, like a halo... 231 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:31,300 ...and her leg's buckled underneath, her arm's snapped like a twig... 232 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:35,200 ...but her face is so serene... 233 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,800 ...so at peace. 234 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,200 And I think it's because when she died... 235 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,800 ...she could feel the wind against her face. 236 00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:53,400 I don't know how to kill Harold Crick. That's why they sent you. 237 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,900 Yes, to help you. 238 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,600 How are you gonna help me? 239 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,900 You, who never thinks of leaping off buildings? 240 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,700 What great inspiration will you bestow on me? 241 00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:06,200 I'll tell you, the quaint ideas you've gathered... 242 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,500 ...in your adorable career as an "assistant"... 243 00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,500 ...are to no avail when faced with killing a man. 244 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,000 I understand. 245 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,000 Do you? I can't just-- 246 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,200 As much as I would like to... 247 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:29,200 ...I cannot simply throw Harold Crick off a building. 248 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:41,100 Miss Eiffel. Kay. I've been an author's assistant for 11 years. 249 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,000 I've helped more than 20 authors complete more than 35 books... 250 00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:46,300 ...and I've never missed the deadline. 251 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,500 And I have never gone back to the publisher to ask for more time. 252 00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:53,200 Now, I will be available to you every minute of every day... 253 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,000 ...until the final punctuation is embedded on the very last page. 254 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,600 I do not like loud music. I do not abide narcotics. 255 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:07,100 And I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick. 256 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,400 I had a very interesting little convo with someone in your section. 257 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,800 Yeah? 258 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,900 They said you were feeling a little wibbly-wobbly. 259 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,100 Catch a little cubicle fever? 260 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,600 Oh, I don't know. I think I'm okay. 261 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:39,600 Harold, a tree doesn't think it's a tree... 262 00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,000 ...it is a tree. 263 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,300 Why was Harold talking to this man? 264 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,300 This man was an idiot. 265 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:53,900 This man used words like "wibbly-wobbly" and "convo. " 266 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,600 And explained that trees were trees. 267 00:18:58,100 --> 00:18:59,800 Of course trees were trees. 268 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,800 Harold knew trees were trees. 269 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,600 I am going to believe you, Harold. 270 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,200 What Harold didn't know was why he couldn't shake... 271 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,000 ...the smell of brownies from his senses. 272 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:13,700 Why Ms. Pascal had made his fingertips quiver and lips go numb. 273 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,500 Harold? 274 00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:21,100 Yes? Sorry. 275 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,800 What's going on, Harold? 276 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,600 Well.... 277 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,200 Nothing. Everything's fine. 278 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,400 Listen, according to your records... 279 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:42,300 ...you haven't taken vacation in a few years now. 280 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:45,600 Let's say you take a little break. 281 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,600 Use some of that vaca time. 282 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,500 Yeah. I'll think about it. 283 00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:59,300 Harold. 284 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,000 I'm not really supposed to do this, but.... 285 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,800 Harold assumed his watch was simply on the fritz... 286 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,800 ...and never even considered that it might be trying to tell him something. 287 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,800 In fact, Harold had never once paid attention to his watch... 288 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,900 ...other than to find out the time. 289 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:44,400 And, honestly, it drove his watch crazy. 290 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,200 And so, on this particular Wednesday evening... 291 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,700 ...as Harold waited for the bus, his watch suddenly... 292 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,400 ...stopped. 293 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,900 Sorry, does anyone have the time? 294 00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:01,100 -Yeah, I got 6:18. -Thanks. 295 00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:07,400 Thus Harold's watch thrust him into the immitigable path of fate. 296 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,900 Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act... 297 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:14,900 ...would result in his imminent death. 298 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,400 What? What? 299 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,600 Hey! Hello? 300 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,400 What? 301 00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:23,400 Why? 302 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,800 Why my death? 303 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,400 Hello! 304 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,100 Excuse me! 305 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,300 When? 306 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,000 How imminent? 307 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,500 Okay, where are you? 308 00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:49,100 "Harold would brush his 32 teeth 72 times." 309 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,200 Why won't you say anything? I heard you. 310 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,000 "That would result in his imminent death." 311 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,400 I heard you! 312 00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:00,700 Come on, you stupid voice. 313 00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:03,500 "Harold frantically grabbed his lamp. 314 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:08,900 Harold, incensed, shook the hell out of it for no apparent reason! 315 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,800 And smashed it on the ground, kicking it repeatedly! 316 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,400 Harold took his Kleenex box, threw it across the room... 317 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,300 ...then stormed the closet!" 318 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000 Come on. Say something. 319 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,800 Something. Say something! 320 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000 Say something! 321 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,800 "Harold, distraught...." 322 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,200 God. 323 00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:47,800 "Harold, distraught...." 324 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,400 "Harold...." 325 00:22:56,500 --> 00:23:00,800 I'm afraid what you're describing is schizophrenia. 326 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:08,500 No. No. It's not schizophrenia. It's just a voice in my head. 327 00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:12,300 I mean, the voice isn't telling me to do anything. 328 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:15,000 It's telling me what I've already done. 329 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,300 Accurately and with a better vocabulary. 330 00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:22,100 Mr. Crick, you have a voice speaking to you. 331 00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:25,700 No, not to me, about me. 332 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:31,100 I'm somehow involved in some sort of story. 333 00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:34,000 Like I'm a character in my own life. 334 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,400 But the problem is that the voice comes and goes. 335 00:23:38,700 --> 00:23:41,800 Like there are other parts of the story not being told to me... 336 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,600 ...and I need to find out what those other parts are before it's too late. 337 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,800 Before the story concludes with your death. 338 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,400 Yes. 339 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,600 Mr. Crick, I hate to sound like a broken record... 340 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,100 ...but that's schizophrenia. 341 00:23:57,500 --> 00:24:02,200 You don't sound like a broken record, but it's just not schizophrenia. 342 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,100 What if what I said was true? 343 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:11,500 Hypothetically speaking, if I was part of a story, a narrative... 344 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:15,600 ...even if it was only in my mind... 345 00:24:15,900 --> 00:24:17,500 ...what would you suggest that I do? 346 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:21,600 I would suggest you take prescribed medication. 347 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:24,500 Other than that. 348 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,700 I don't know. 349 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:31,400 I suppose I would send you to see someone who knows about literature. 350 00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:34,900 Okay. 351 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,800 Yeah. That's a good idea. 352 00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:41,300 Thank you. 353 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,500 So you're the gentleman who called me about the narrator. 354 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:47,400 -Yes. -This narrator says you're gonna die. 355 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,700 Yes. 356 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:52,400 -How long has it given you to live? -I don't know. 357 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,900 Dramatic irony. It'll fuck you every time. 358 00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:58,900 -So you crazy or what? -Well-- 359 00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:01,100 Are you allowed to say that to crazy people? 360 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,500 -I don't know. -Oh, well. How many stairs... 361 00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:06,000 -...in the hallway out there? -What? 362 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,500 You were counting them as we walked, weren't you? 363 00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:09,900 No. 364 00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:11,800 Of course. What bank do you work at? 365 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,100 No bank. IRS agent. 366 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,900 -Married? -No. 367 00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:17,100 Ever? 368 00:25:17,300 --> 00:25:20,200 Engaged to an auditor. She left me for an actuary. 369 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,200 -How heartbreaking. Live alone? -Yes. 370 00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:28,800 -Any pets? -No. 371 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:33,100 -Friends? -No. Well, Dave at work. 372 00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:37,500 I see. The narrator, exactly what does he sound like? 373 00:25:37,700 --> 00:25:39,000 It's a woman. 374 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,500 A woman. 375 00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:43,900 -Is it a familiar woman? -No. 376 00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:45,800 Someone you know? 377 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,800 No. 378 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,700 Did you have enough time to count the tiles in the bathroom? 379 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,200 I wasn't counting the tiles. 380 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,400 -Coffee? -No, thank you. 381 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,100 -Sure? -Yes. 382 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,700 So this woman, the voice, told you you're gonna die? 383 00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:04,100 She didn't tell me. She doesn't know I can hear her. 384 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,200 -But she said it. -Yes. 385 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,600 And you believed her. 386 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,200 She's been right about a few other things. 387 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:14,000 -Such as? -How I felt about work. 388 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,700 -You dislike your work? -Yes. 389 00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:20,900 Well, not the most insightful voice in the world, is it? 390 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,400 First thing on a list of what Americans hate: work. 391 00:26:23,700 --> 00:26:26,400 Second, traffic. Third, missing socks. See what I'm saying? 392 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,500 Sort of. 393 00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:29,700 I told you you were gonna die, you believe me? 394 00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:31,300 -No. -Why? 395 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,800 I don't know you. 396 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,100 -But you don't know this narrator. -Well.... 397 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:40,900 -Okay, Mr. Crick, I can't help you. -Why? 398 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,200 Well, I'm not an expert in crazy, I'm an expert in literature theory. 399 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,900 And I gotta tell you, thus far... 400 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:50,000 ...there doesn't seem to be a single literary thing about you. 401 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,500 I don't doubt you hear a voice, but it couldn't possibly be a narrator... 402 00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:56,700 ...because, frankly, there doesn't seem to be much to narrate. 403 00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,300 Beside that, this semester I'm teaching five courses. 404 00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:01,200 I'm mentoring two doctoral candidates... 405 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,400 ...and I'm the faculty lifeguard at the pool. 406 00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:09,300 -I just thought you could possibly-- -Perhaps you should keep a journal. 407 00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:11,500 Write down what she said or something. 408 00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:14,400 That's all I can suggest. 409 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,000 I can barely remember it all. I just remember: 410 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:23,700 "Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act... 411 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:26,400 ...would lead to his imminent death." 412 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,400 -What? -"Little did he know that this--" 413 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,400 -Did you say, "little did he know"? -Yes. 414 00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:36,700 I've written papers on "little did he know." 415 00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:40,400 I used to teach a class based on "little did he know." 416 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,500 I mean, I once gave an entire seminar on "little did he know." 417 00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:47,500 Son of a bitch, Harold. 418 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,400 "Little did he know" means there's something he doesn't know... 419 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,900 ...that means there's something you don't know. Did you know that? 420 00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:58,800 -I want you to come back Friday. -Okay. 421 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,200 No, "imminent," you could be dead by Friday. 422 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,400 Come back tomorrow at 9:45. 423 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,900 Ten seconds ago you said you wouldn't help me. 424 00:28:09,700 --> 00:28:12,400 It's been a very revealing 10 seconds, Harold. 425 00:28:16,500 --> 00:28:18,800 Harold was deep in thought. 426 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,500 For a few, brief moments, from Born Boulevard to Euclid Avenue... 427 00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:26,200 ...all the calculations and all the rules... 428 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:30,700 ...and all the precision of Harold's life just faded away. 429 00:28:31,900 --> 00:28:35,700 How perfect then that in this space... 430 00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:38,800 ...Ana Pascal would appear. 431 00:28:40,100 --> 00:28:41,200 Ms. Pascal. 432 00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:45,700 Ms. Pascal, it's Harold Crick from the IRS. 433 00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:47,400 Excuse me. 434 00:28:50,700 --> 00:28:53,400 -Hi. -Hi. 435 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,400 -Would you like a seat? -Nope. 436 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,600 There's 11 open ones. 437 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,500 I don't care. 438 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:05,500 Sorry about that. 439 00:29:17,300 --> 00:29:18,700 How are you? 440 00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,500 I'm lousy. I'm being audited. 441 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,100 Of course. 442 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,400 By a real creep too. 443 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,200 I think I owe you an apology. 444 00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:38,600 -Really? -IRS agents... 445 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,200 ...we're given rigorous aptitude tests before we can work. 446 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:47,300 Unfortunately for you, we aren't tested on tact or good manners... 447 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,700 ...so I apologize. 448 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,700 I ogled you. 449 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,900 Sorry. 450 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,800 Okay, apology accepted. 451 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,600 But only because you stammered. 452 00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:17,700 So you're a frequenter of the metropolitan transit authority too? 453 00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:21,000 No. I'm just late. 454 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,200 Big flag-burning to get to? 455 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:26,900 Actually... 456 00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:32,500 ...it's my weekly evil-conspiracy and needlepoint group. 457 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,500 You wanna come? 458 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,200 I left my thimbles and socialist reading material at home. 459 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,400 So.... 460 00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:50,000 Harold nervously made small talk. 461 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,500 You have very straight teeth. 462 00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:55,400 Very small talk. 463 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,600 Thanks. They're real. 464 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,100 Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself... 465 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:07,200 ...in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat. 466 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,800 This is my stop. I should go. 467 00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:15,300 -He was elated and surprised... -See you soon. 468 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:19,500 ...by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Ms. Pascal. 469 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,000 So elated that he exited the Transit Authority bus... 470 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:27,600 ...a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk. 471 00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:49,000 -"You ain't down yet. " -That's right. 472 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:53,700 Tell us, what is You Ain't Got Nothin' On Me about, Emmett Cole? 473 00:31:53,900 --> 00:31:55,500 What does this mean? 474 00:31:55,700 --> 00:32:00,500 Well, it's about being around in the world, doing different things... 475 00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:03,000 -...doing what you wanna do.... -Come in. 476 00:32:06,100 --> 00:32:10,100 Mr. Crick. Come in, come in. Please. 477 00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:13,300 How are you? 478 00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:15,300 I'm fine, actually. 479 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,300 You can turn that off. 480 00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:20,400 Looks like our narrator hasn't killed you quite yet. 481 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,800 -No, not yet. -Good, great. Have a seat. 482 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,600 -Count the stairs outside? -No. 483 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,700 Course not. I've devised a test-- 484 00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:32,400 How exciting is that? --of 23 questions... 485 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,200 ...which I think might help uncover more truths about this narrator. 486 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,200 -Now, Howard.... -Harold. 487 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,200 Harold. These may seem silly, but your candor is paramount. 488 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:43,900 Okay. 489 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,800 So. 490 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,900 We know it's a woman's voice, the story involves your death... 491 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,200 ...it's modern, it's in English. 492 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,200 I'm assuming the author has a cursory knowledge of the city. 493 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,300 -Sure. -Okay, good. 494 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,700 Question one: 495 00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:08,400 "Has anyone recently left any gifts outside your home?" 496 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,200 Anything? Gum? Money? 497 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,500 -A large wooden horse? -I'm sorry? 498 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,700 -Just answer the question. -No. 499 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,600 "Do you find yourself inclined to solve murder mysteries... 500 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,200 ...in large, luxurious homes to which--?" Let me finish. 501 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,900 "To which you may or may not have been invited?" 502 00:33:24,100 --> 00:33:25,300 No. No, no, no. 503 00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:28,500 All right. On a scale of one to 10... 504 00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:32,300 ...what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated? 505 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:33,800 Assassinated? 506 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,300 One being very unlikely, 10 being expecting it around every corner. 507 00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:40,900 -I have no idea-- -Okay. Let me rephrase. 508 00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,700 Are you the king of anything? 509 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:45,800 -Like what? -Anything. 510 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,300 King of the lanes at the local bowling alley. 511 00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:49,900 "King of the lanes"? 512 00:33:50,100 --> 00:33:54,000 -King of the lanes. King of the trolls. -"King of the trolls"? 513 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,500 Yes. A clandestine land found underneath your floorboards. 514 00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:00,000 -Anything. -No. 515 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,300 No. That's ridiculous. 516 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:05,600 Agreed. But let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. 517 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,100 Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else? 518 00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:11,500 Like do I have someone else's arms? 519 00:34:11,700 --> 00:34:14,700 Well, is it possible at one time that you were made of stone... 520 00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:16,800 ...wood, lye, varied corpse parts... 521 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,400 ...or earth made holy by rabbinical elders? 522 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,300 No. Look.... I'm sorry. What do these questions have to do with anything? 523 00:34:23,500 --> 00:34:25,600 The only way to find out what story you're in... 524 00:34:25,900 --> 00:34:27,800 ...is to determine what stories you're not in. 525 00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:31,300 Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature... 526 00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:33,600 ...seven fairy tales, 10 Chinese fables... 527 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,800 ...and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet... 528 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000 ...Scout Finch, Miss Marple... 529 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,800 ...Frankenstein's monster, or a golem. 530 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000 Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem? 531 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,400 Yes, I am relieved to know that I am not a golem. 532 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:55,600 Good. 533 00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:02,200 Do you have magical powers? 534 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,000 May I ask what we're doing out here? 535 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,800 -We're imagining car wrecks. -I see. 536 00:35:45,100 --> 00:35:47,400 And we can't imagine car wrecks inside? 537 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,100 No. 538 00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:52,200 Did you know that 41 percent of accidents... 539 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,900 ...occur in times of inclement weather? 540 00:35:55,100 --> 00:35:57,300 So do 90 percent of pneumonia cases. 541 00:35:57,500 --> 00:36:02,400 Really? Pneumonia. That's an interesting way to die. 542 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,000 But how would Harold catch pneumonia? 543 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,200 Have you written anything new today? 544 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,700 No. 545 00:36:09,900 --> 00:36:12,700 Did you read the poems I suggested, or make a list of words... 546 00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:14,900 ...buy new typing paper, anything? 547 00:36:15,100 --> 00:36:16,600 No, none of it. 548 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,800 Sitting in the rain won't write books. 549 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:24,200 Well, that illustrates exactly how much you know about writing books. 550 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,500 What's this? 551 00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:35,500 It's literature on the nicotine patch. 552 00:36:36,900 --> 00:36:40,000 I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny. I smoke cigarettes. 553 00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:42,400 Well, it may help. 554 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,700 May help? Help what? 555 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,100 Help what, Penny? Help write a novel? 556 00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:51,500 May help save your life. 557 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,300 I'm not in the business of saving lives. 558 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,100 In fact, just the opposite. 559 00:37:02,100 --> 00:37:04,200 -"What's your favorite word?" -Integer. 560 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,000 Good, good, good. 561 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,300 "Do you aspire to anything?" 562 00:37:09,700 --> 00:37:12,200 -No. -Conquer Russia? 563 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,000 -Win a whistling contest? -No. 564 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:19,100 Harold, you must have some ambition. 565 00:37:19,900 --> 00:37:23,500 -I don't think so. -Some underlying dream. Think. 566 00:37:25,700 --> 00:37:27,200 Well... 567 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,000 ...I've always wanted my life to be more musical. 568 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:35,200 -Like West Side Story? -No. 569 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,500 -Like.... -What? 570 00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:41,100 Well, I've always wanted to learn to play the guitar. 571 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,200 Okay. 572 00:37:47,100 --> 00:37:49,000 The last thing to determine conclusively... 573 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,700 ...is whether you're in a comedy or a tragedy. 574 00:37:51,900 --> 00:37:53,300 To quote Italo Calvino: 575 00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:56,700 "The ultimate meaning to which all stories refer has two faces: 576 00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:59,800 The continuity of life, the inevitability of death." 577 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,100 Tragedy, you die. Comedy, you get hitched. 578 00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:09,900 Most comic heroes fall in love with people... 579 00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:11,900 ...introduced after the story has begun. 580 00:38:12,100 --> 00:38:14,700 Usually people who hate the hero initially. 581 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,800 Although I can't imagine anyone hating you, Harold. 582 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,800 Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. 583 00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:24,300 Everyone hates me. 584 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,000 Right, right. Good. 585 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,400 Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you? 586 00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:34,900 I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent. 587 00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:37,500 Well, that sounds like a comedy. 588 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,100 Try to develop that. 589 00:38:42,900 --> 00:38:43,900 Four of these? 590 00:38:44,100 --> 00:38:46,000 You know, I didn't get my honey, honey. 591 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,800 Lulu, can you refill the honey for Larry? Quarters also? 592 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,600 That's my good boy. 593 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,700 I'm adding some acorns. 594 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,600 Mr. Crick. 595 00:38:56,700 --> 00:39:00,200 You're here early. Must have a lot of people to extort. 596 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,200 No. No, just you. 597 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,400 -Twig tea and banana bread. -Yes, ma'am. 598 00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:10,200 Actually, it should only take the day to make sure 22 percent is all you owe. 599 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:14,100 Well, I won't be paying no matter the percentage, Mr. Crick. 600 00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:18,200 No, I know. But the percent determines how big your cell is. 601 00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:26,500 You know, you can call me Harold. 602 00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:29,900 Yeah, I know. But I don't want to. 603 00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:33,300 This is for Ramona, honey. 604 00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:36,200 -Oh, thank you. -You're very welcome. 605 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,800 What is that? What are you marking? 606 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,200 Oh, this is nothing. 607 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,500 Why don't we start with your backup documents... 608 00:39:45,700 --> 00:39:48,200 ...and the receipts for the past three years. 609 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:49,900 Sure. 610 00:39:58,600 --> 00:39:59,700 What's this? 611 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,200 -My files. -What? 612 00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:04,900 My tax files. 613 00:40:05,900 --> 00:40:07,400 You keep your files like this? 614 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,400 No, actually I'm quite fastidious. 615 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:14,100 I put them in this box just to screw with you. 616 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:31,000 -Hi. -Hi. How are you? 617 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,800 So how was it? Aruba. 618 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,300 Ms. Pascal? Can I just ask you a question about this receipt? 619 00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:41,400 -It was fantastic. -Just wondering if this nine is a seven. 620 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,800 -And what did you do? -I got a beautiful tan. 621 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:49,000 -I'm just gonna guess it's a seven. -I mean, I feel stress-free. 622 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,900 Do you need help with that? 623 00:40:57,100 --> 00:40:59,200 --walk to heaven. I see the president. 624 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,500 -It's the taxman. Hello, Mr. Taxman. -Yeah. 625 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,200 -You can call me Harold. -Okay. 626 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,000 -How the numbers going? -Pretty good. 627 00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:07,000 -Gonna find that 22 percent? -22 percent? 628 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,700 Twenty-two, 11 times 2. It's prime numbers. 629 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:12,900 -You gonna tax the bathroom? -No, I'm not gonna tax the bathroom. 630 00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:15,400 -Could I use the bathroom, then? -Go for it. 631 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,300 Okay. I wanna use the bathroom. Bye now. 632 00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:18,600 Bye-bye. 633 00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:01,900 Well, good night. 634 00:42:03,100 --> 00:42:04,700 You want a cookie? 635 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:06,500 Oh, no. 636 00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:10,800 Come on. They're warm and gooey. They're fresh out of the oven. 637 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,400 No, I don't like cookies. 638 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,000 You don't like cookies? 639 00:42:20,100 --> 00:42:23,200 -What's wrong with you? -I don't know. 640 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,400 -Everybody likes cookies. -No, I know. 641 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:30,500 I mean, after a really awful, no-good day... 642 00:42:30,700 --> 00:42:33,600 ...didn't your mama ever make you milk and cookies? 643 00:42:34,700 --> 00:42:38,200 No. My mother didn't bake. 644 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,600 The only cookies I ever had were store-bought. 645 00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:47,000 Okay. Sit down. 646 00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,700 -No, I'm-- -No. 647 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,000 Sit down. 648 00:42:55,900 --> 00:42:57,100 Now... 649 00:42:58,100 --> 00:43:00,100 ...eat a cookie. 650 00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:01,700 I really can't. 651 00:43:01,900 --> 00:43:05,200 Mr. Crick, it was a really awful day. 652 00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:08,900 I know, I made sure of it. 653 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,100 So pick up the cookie... 654 00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:13,500 ...dip it in the milk... 655 00:43:13,700 --> 00:43:15,500 ...and eat it. 656 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,400 That's a really, really good cookie. 657 00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:52,500 So when did you decide to become a baker? 658 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,700 -In college. -Oh, like a cooking college? 659 00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,900 I went to Harvard Law actually. 660 00:44:01,500 --> 00:44:06,600 -Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed it was-- -No. No, it's fine. I didn't finish. 661 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,400 -Did something happen? -No. 662 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,800 I was barely accepted. I mean, really barely. 663 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,100 The only reason they let me come was because of my essay. 664 00:44:18,300 --> 00:44:22,300 How I was gonna make the world a better place with my degree. 665 00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:27,800 Anyway, we would have to participate in these study sessions... 666 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:31,000 ...my classmates and I, sometimes all night long. 667 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:35,000 And so I'd bake so no one would go hungry while we worked. 668 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,100 Sometimes I would bake all afternoon in the kitchen in the dorm... 669 00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:42,400 ...and then I'd bring my little treats to the study groups... 670 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,200 ...and people loved them. 671 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:45,700 Eat. 672 00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:50,100 I made oatmeal cookies, peanut-butter bars... 673 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:54,000 ...dark-chocolate macadamia-nut wedges. 674 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,600 And everyone would eat and stay happy... 675 00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,900 ...and study harder and do better on the tests. 676 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,800 More and more people started coming to the study groups... 677 00:45:02,100 --> 00:45:03,900 ...and I'd bring more snacks. 678 00:45:04,100 --> 00:45:06,600 I was always looking for better and better recipes... 679 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:12,400 ...until soon it was ricotta cheese and apricot croissants... 680 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,800 ...and mocha bars with an almond glaze... 681 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:20,600 ...and lemon chiffon cake with zesty peach icing. 682 00:45:21,700 --> 00:45:25,700 And at the end of the semester I had 27 study partners... 683 00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:29,400 ...eight Mead journals filled with recipes... 684 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,100 ...and a D average. 685 00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:33,900 So I dropped out. 686 00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:37,000 I figured if I was gonna make the world a better place... 687 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,400 ...I would do it with cookies. 688 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,600 You like them? 689 00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:48,100 I do. 690 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,000 I'm glad. 691 00:45:52,100 --> 00:45:54,100 Thank you for forcing me to eat them. 692 00:45:54,900 --> 00:45:56,700 You're welcome. 693 00:46:01,900 --> 00:46:04,700 I should go. Oh, thank you. For the cookies, I mean. 694 00:46:04,900 --> 00:46:06,700 -Why don't you take them home? -Oh, no. 695 00:46:06,900 --> 00:46:09,000 -Oh, come on. -No, really, please. 696 00:46:09,300 --> 00:46:12,300 -No, really, please. -No, no, no. Really, please. 697 00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:14,600 I would like to, but I can't. 698 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:16,800 -You can't? -No, no, I mean-- 699 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,700 Because, see, it constitutes a gift. 700 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,600 Actually I shouldn't have even had those other ones, so.... 701 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,000 Okay. Well, I'm not gonna tell anyone. 702 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:27,800 -No. I know, but if you did.... -Well, I'm not going to. 703 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,100 I know, but if you did-- 704 00:46:29,300 --> 00:46:32,400 -What, you think I'm gonna call the--? -No, no. I'll purchase them. 705 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,700 I'm happy to purchase them. How's that? 706 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,200 And then there are no issues. 707 00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:44,500 -What? -No. 708 00:46:44,700 --> 00:46:46,800 -Please. -Just.... 709 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,800 -Why don't I just--? -Go home. 710 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:50,300 Really, it's not a big deal. 711 00:46:50,500 --> 00:46:52,600 Go home. 712 00:46:54,300 --> 00:46:55,700 Okay. 713 00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:01,600 Did you...? 714 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:06,200 You baked those cookies for me, didn't you? 715 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,000 You were just trying to be nice and I totally blew it. 716 00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:20,400 This may sound like gibberish to you... 717 00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:25,400 ...but I think I'm in a tragedy. 718 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,800 Professor Hilbert, I've totally failed at the comedy-tragedy thing. 719 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,200 In fact, I think she likes me even less. 720 00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:04,500 -I know, it's great. -What do you mean? 721 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,700 You've proved something else entirely. 722 00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:11,500 The voice seems to be dependent on actions you take. 723 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,100 You reset your watch, it says you reset your watch. 724 00:48:15,300 --> 00:48:17,100 You ride a bus, it says you ride the bus. 725 00:48:17,300 --> 00:48:19,700 You brush your teeth, it says you brush your teeth. 726 00:48:19,900 --> 00:48:23,900 It may be that you yourself are perpetuating the story. 727 00:48:24,100 --> 00:48:27,800 -So I suggest we try something else. -Like what? 728 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:31,200 -Try nothing. Nothing. -What about Ms. Pascal? 729 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:32,600 -Forget her. -Forget her? 730 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:34,800 Other than numbers, she's all I think about. 731 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,700 Harold, if you wanna stay alive, you'll try something else. 732 00:48:37,900 --> 00:48:41,300 -That something being nothing? -Nothing, exactly. 733 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:44,200 -Nothing? -Let me explain this again. 734 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,000 Some plots are moved forward by external events and crises. 735 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,900 Others are moved forward by the characters themselves. 736 00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:53,300 If I go through that door, the plot continues. 737 00:48:53,500 --> 00:48:55,800 The story of me through the door. If I stay here... 738 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,400 ...the plot can't move forward, the story ends. 739 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,400 Also if I stay here, I'm late. 740 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,200 -Don't do anything tomorrow. -Nothing? 741 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:10,800 Stay home. Don't answer the phone, open the door, brush your teeth. 742 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,400 -What about work? -Call them. 743 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,900 -Tell them you're not coming. -Don't go to work? 744 00:49:15,100 --> 00:49:17,200 Don't do anything that may move the plot forward. 745 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,400 Instead, let's see if the plot finds you. 746 00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:22,700 Marshall, you're not kicking. 747 00:49:26,100 --> 00:49:29,500 --certain that these geese have never known any home but this one: 748 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,700 A small lake in Eastern Poland. 749 00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:35,600 Pollution from a nearby factory is slowly killing... 750 00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:39,300 ...the small fish and insects on which these creatures feed. 751 00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:44,700 All attempts to move the birds to similar bodies of water have failed. 752 00:49:44,900 --> 00:49:48,700 Perhaps it is the familiarity alone that keeps them here. 753 00:49:48,900 --> 00:49:52,900 Or perhaps it's an unwillingness to lose the collective memory... 754 00:49:53,100 --> 00:49:56,100 ...of the once-beautiful hills that surround the lake. 755 00:49:56,400 --> 00:50:00,000 And it takes only seconds for the fiddler crabs to realize... 756 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:02,600 ...that the wader they might once have feared... 757 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,200 ...has now become their prey. 758 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,500 The wounded bird knows its fate. 759 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,600 Its desperate attempts to escape... 760 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:16,200 ...only underscore the hopelessness of its plight. 761 00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:23,700 The primates' sad, soulful eyes will be the first to be plucked out... 762 00:50:23,900 --> 00:50:26,700 ...then sold to cosmetic companies around the world... 763 00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:30,900 ...for use in the testing of mascara and artificial tears. 764 00:50:31,100 --> 00:50:35,000 Next, the monkeys' fur will be stripped away from their limp corpses... 765 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,600 ...and sewn together to form pillows and comforters. 766 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,300 Mr. Zebra thought he was gonna take a nice drink. 767 00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:43,100 But you never know who's gonna eat... 768 00:50:43,300 --> 00:50:45,600 ...when you're dining at Mother Nature's restaurant. 769 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,500 That's gotta hurt. What does this bald eagle wanna serve... 770 00:50:48,700 --> 00:50:50,700 ...with some kidney beans and a fine Chianti? 771 00:50:50,900 --> 00:50:54,900 It's an eel. And again: 772 00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:57,400 Looks like old Mr. Crocodile wanted some antelope... 773 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,600 ...to clear that salty zebra from his palate. 774 00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:03,200 Here's a struggle betting gentlemen have been known to put money on. 775 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:07,100 When a mongoose encounters a cobra it's hard to know who's gonna win. 776 00:51:07,300 --> 00:51:09,500 But this time it looks like it's...the cobra... 777 00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:11,800 ...who's putting the squeeze on the mongoose! 778 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,200 But don't cash in your chips just yet, gentlemen... 779 00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:17,500 ...because now it's the mongoose who holds the winning card! 780 00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:46,700 Hey! Hey! 781 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,300 Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?! 782 00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,600 -Holy crapping hell. -What the hell is that? 783 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,600 - Stop the crane. Stop it. - Stop the crane! 784 00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:55,800 - Hey. - Hey, what are you doing? 785 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,600 Us? What are you doing? 786 00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,500 I was watching TV. 787 00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:03,200 - Well, we're demolishing this place. - Are you nuts? I live here! 788 00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,100 - Is that a TV? - Yes, that's a TV! It's my TV! 789 00:52:06,300 --> 00:52:09,200 - Well, what's your TV doing in there? - I said I live here, stupid! 790 00:52:09,500 --> 00:52:11,200 It's where I keep my stuff! 791 00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:14,700 My name's on the goddamn buzzer! Harold Crick. 792 00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:17,900 Apartment 2-B, 1893 McCarthy! 793 00:52:18,900 --> 00:52:21,300 - Did you say 1893? - Yes! 794 00:52:27,900 --> 00:52:29,900 I'm not exactly sure it was plot. 795 00:52:30,100 --> 00:52:33,100 I was hoping you'd say it was just a really bad coincidence. 796 00:52:33,300 --> 00:52:36,800 Meeting an insurance agent the day your policy runs out is coincidence. 797 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,700 Getting a letter from the emperor saying that he's visiting is plot. 798 00:52:40,900 --> 00:52:44,000 Having your apartment eaten by a wrecking ball... 799 00:52:44,300 --> 00:52:45,900 ...is something else entirely. 800 00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:51,000 Harold, you don't control your fate. 801 00:52:51,700 --> 00:52:54,200 - I know. - You do? 802 00:52:55,700 --> 00:52:57,500 Okay. Come with me. 803 00:52:57,700 --> 00:53:00,600 Hey, Tom, can you leave that till tomorrow? 804 00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,400 You were right. This narrator might very well kill you... 805 00:53:04,500 --> 00:53:08,600 ...so I humbly suggest that you just forget all this and go live your life. 806 00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:13,500 Go live my life? I am living my life. I'd like to continue to live my life. 807 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:18,700 I know. Of course. I mean all of it. However long you have left. 808 00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:22,400 You know, I mean, Howard, you could use it to have an adventure. 809 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:27,100 You know, invent something, or just finish reading Crime and Punishment. 810 00:53:27,300 --> 00:53:31,000 Hell, Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted. 811 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,600 What's wrong with you? 812 00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,900 Hey. I don't wanna eat nothing but pancakes. I wanna live. 813 00:53:37,100 --> 00:53:40,100 Who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living... 814 00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:41,300 ...chooses pancakes? 815 00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:44,400 Harold, if you'd pause to think I believe you'd realize... 816 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,800 ...that that answer's inextricably contingent... 817 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,200 ...upon the type of life being led... 818 00:53:50,700 --> 00:53:53,800 ...and, of course, the quality of the pancakes. 819 00:53:55,700 --> 00:53:57,700 You don't understand what I'm saying. 820 00:53:58,900 --> 00:53:59,900 Yes, I do. 821 00:54:01,100 --> 00:54:04,800 But you have to understand that this isn't a philosophy or a literary theory... 822 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:06,800 ...or a story to me. It's my life. 823 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:11,700 Absolutely. So just go make it the one you've always wanted. 824 00:54:19,300 --> 00:54:21,100 I never expected that they would have-- 825 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:23,200 -Do you want one, two? -I want one. 826 00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,700 -One? -I want two. 827 00:54:36,700 --> 00:54:38,400 All right, so here's your room. 828 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,200 Or as I like to call it, Sleep Pod Two. 829 00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:43,100 Thanks, Dave. 830 00:54:43,300 --> 00:54:46,800 No problem, dude. It'll be nice having you around. 831 00:54:47,900 --> 00:54:51,000 -How long you planning on staying? -I'm not sure. 832 00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:01,400 Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question? 833 00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:03,400 Sure. 834 00:55:04,100 --> 00:55:06,300 If you knew you were gonna die... 835 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,400 ...possibly soon... 836 00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,800 ...what would you do? 837 00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,400 Wow, I don't know. 838 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,200 Am I the richest man in the world? 839 00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:20,600 No, you're you. 840 00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:23,500 Do I have a superpower? 841 00:55:24,700 --> 00:55:26,000 No, you're you. 842 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:30,000 I know I'm me, but do I have a superpower? 843 00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:32,500 No, why would you have a superpower? 844 00:55:32,700 --> 00:55:35,100 I don't know, you said it was hypothetical. 845 00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:38,500 Fine. Yes. You're really good at math. 846 00:55:38,900 --> 00:55:40,900 That's not a power, that's a skill. 847 00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:43,900 Okay, you're good at math and you're invisible. 848 00:55:44,100 --> 00:55:46,400 -And you know you're gonna die. -Okay, okay. 849 00:55:47,700 --> 00:55:49,700 That's easy, I'd go to space camp. 850 00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,200 Space camp? 851 00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:57,400 Yeah, it's in Alabama. It's where kids go to learn how to become astronauts. 852 00:55:58,100 --> 00:56:00,300 I've always wanted to go since I was 9. 853 00:56:01,300 --> 00:56:04,000 You're invisible and you'd go to space camp? 854 00:56:04,300 --> 00:56:06,800 I didn't pick invisible, you picked invisible. 855 00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,400 Aren't you too old to go to space camp? 856 00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:13,300 You're never too old to go to space camp, dude. 857 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:45,900 Space camp. 858 00:56:47,300 --> 00:56:49,900 One hundred and twenty-two guitars. 859 00:56:50,100 --> 00:56:52,500 Seven hundred and thirty-two strings. 860 00:56:52,700 --> 00:56:54,900 Two hundred and fifty-seven pickups. 861 00:56:55,100 --> 00:56:58,600 One hundred and eighty-nine volume knobs. 862 00:56:59,300 --> 00:57:04,600 Here Harold stood, face to face with his oldest desire. 863 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:08,200 And stand is almost all Harold did. 864 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,700 It wasn't just about finding a guitar. 865 00:57:11,900 --> 00:57:17,100 It was about finding a guitar that said something about Harold. 866 00:57:17,300 --> 00:57:19,200 Unfortunately, this guitar said: 867 00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:23,800 "When I get back to Georgia, that woman gonna feel my pain. " 868 00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:27,400 This one said something along the lines of: 869 00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:30,600 "Why, yes, these pants are Lycra. " 870 00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,900 These said, "I'm very sensitive, very caring... 871 00:57:34,100 --> 00:57:36,800 ...and I have absolutely no idea how to play the guitar. " 872 00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,600 "I'm compensating for something. Guess what. " 873 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,400 And then Harold saw it. 874 00:57:53,300 --> 00:57:56,600 A damaged and terribly mistreated sea-foam-green Fender... 875 00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,400 ...staring back at him. 876 00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,300 Despite its obvious maladies... 877 00:58:00,500 --> 00:58:03,800 ...the guitar spoke with conviction and swagger. 878 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:08,600 In fact, it looked Harold directly in the eye and very plainly stated: 879 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,500 "I rock. " 880 00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:13,700 Just breathe. Watch it! 881 00:58:13,900 --> 00:58:17,800 We've got a 21 -year-old male with a gunshot wound to the chest. 882 00:58:18,700 --> 00:58:19,900 There you go. 883 00:58:20,300 --> 00:58:24,700 Shot in a gang fight? Harold's not in a gang. 884 00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:27,200 Man in tweed? 885 00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,500 There's nothing wrong with him, he just likes looking at sick people. 886 00:58:32,700 --> 00:58:34,900 Oddly spoken with disdain. 887 00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:36,600 This isn't working. 888 00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,300 Well-- I don't even know why we're here. 889 00:58:39,500 --> 00:58:41,200 I don't think we're supposed to be here. 890 00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,600 -You said I needed visual stimuli. -I meant a museum. 891 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:47,000 I don't need a goddamn museum. I need the infirm. 892 00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,200 You are the infirm. 893 00:58:49,700 --> 00:58:52,200 You're right. The problem is these people aren't dead... 894 00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,400 ...they're just severely injured. 895 00:58:55,100 --> 00:58:58,000 Excuse me, where are the dying people? 896 00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,300 Most of these people are sick or injured-- 897 00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,400 Which is great, don't get me wrong. 898 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,200 --but they're gonna get better, which doesn't really help me. 899 00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:10,800 Is there any way to see the people who aren't going to get better? 900 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:11,900 Excuse me? 901 00:59:12,100 --> 00:59:15,300 I'd like to see, if at all possible, the ones who aren't gonna make it. 902 00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:17,200 You know, the dead-for-sure ones. 903 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:20,100 I'm sorry, are you suffering from anything? 904 00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,700 Just writer's block. 905 00:59:32,500 --> 00:59:34,600 With every awkward strum... 906 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:38,300 ...Harold Crick became stronger in who he was... 907 00:59:38,500 --> 00:59:42,200 ...what he wanted, and why he was alive. 908 00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:46,300 Harold no longer ate alone. 909 00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:49,700 He no longer counted brushstrokes. 910 00:59:49,900 --> 00:59:52,300 -Harold, I'll see you. -He no longer wore neckties. 911 00:59:52,500 --> 00:59:53,500 Bye, Dave. 912 00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:58,800 And, therefore, no longer worried about the time it took to put them on. 913 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:05,000 He no longer counted his steps to the bus stop. 914 01:00:07,500 --> 01:00:12,800 Instead, Harold did that which had terrified him before. 915 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:16,100 That which had eluded him Monday through Friday... 916 01:00:16,300 --> 01:00:19,500 ...for so many years. 917 01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:22,000 That which the unrelenting lyrics... 918 01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:26,500 ...of numerous punk-rock songs told him to do: 919 01:00:26,900 --> 01:00:30,300 Harold Crick lived his life. 920 01:00:39,500 --> 01:00:42,300 But despite resuscitating his life... 921 01:00:42,500 --> 01:00:46,600 ...reviving his hope, and instilling a few wicked calluses... 922 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,900 ...Harold's journey was still incomplete. 923 01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:56,700 And Harold's wristwatch wasn't about to let him miss another opportunity. 924 01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:07,200 Ms. Pascal? 925 01:01:07,500 --> 01:01:10,200 -Ms. Pascal? -Mr. Crick. 926 01:01:10,900 --> 01:01:13,400 -Hi. -Hi. 927 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,400 -Hi. -Hi. 928 01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,600 I'm glad I caught you. 929 01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:20,700 Oh, yeah? Why? 930 01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:25,400 Because I wanted to bring these to you. 931 01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:29,300 -Really? -Yeah. 932 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:33,900 So you can't accept gifts, but you can give them? 933 01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:35,900 -Listen-- -I don't know. 934 01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,600 That seems a little inconsistent, doesn't it, Mr. Crick? 935 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:40,000 Very inconsistent, yes. 936 01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,600 I'll tell you what. I'll purchase them. 937 01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:44,200 -No. -No, no, no, really... 938 01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:46,800 ...I'd like to purchase them. What are they? 939 01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:49,200 Flours. 940 01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,300 -What? -I brought you flours. 941 01:02:04,100 --> 01:02:08,100 And you carried them all the way here? 942 01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:14,900 Ms. Pascal, I've been odd and I know that I've been odd. 943 01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,800 And I want you. 944 01:02:19,300 --> 01:02:21,800 -What? -There's so many reasons. 945 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,100 There's so many influences in my life that are telling me... 946 01:02:25,300 --> 01:02:26,900 ...at times quite literally... 947 01:02:27,100 --> 01:02:29,900 ...that I should come here and bring you these... 948 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,300 ...but I'm doing this because I want you. 949 01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:36,200 You want me? 950 01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:39,300 In no uncertain terms. 951 01:02:42,100 --> 01:02:47,300 Isn't there some very clear and established... 952 01:02:47,500 --> 01:02:51,200 ...rule about fraternization? 953 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,600 -Auditor-auditee protocol? -Yeah. 954 01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:56,000 Yeah, but I don't care. 955 01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,800 -Why? -Because I want you. 956 01:03:05,300 --> 01:03:06,300 Well... 957 01:03:08,500 --> 01:03:11,400 ...do you mind carrying those a little bit further? 958 01:03:12,300 --> 01:03:13,600 Okay. 959 01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:17,800 Okay. 960 01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:33,400 Did you make a key? 961 01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,800 No, I just committed it to memory. 962 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:40,100 -The blue, that's barley flour. -What's that one? 963 01:03:40,300 --> 01:03:41,600 -The orange? -Yeah. 964 01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:43,400 I forget. 965 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,000 Right here. 966 01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:50,300 Do you wanna come up? 967 01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:55,300 -To your place? -Yeah. 968 01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:58,900 I guess I could. 969 01:03:59,100 --> 01:04:03,000 Wasn't that the idea with the flours and everything? 970 01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:08,700 Honestly, I only figured it out up to "I want you." 971 01:04:09,700 --> 01:04:11,700 Listen, Mr. Crick... 972 01:04:12,700 --> 01:04:14,200 ...I think I like you. 973 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:20,400 And before I do anything rash, I'd like to make sure. 974 01:04:21,900 --> 01:04:24,000 I'd like you to come up. 975 01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:27,400 I'd be honored. 976 01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:30,000 Great. 977 01:04:33,300 --> 01:04:34,700 Yeah, he was nuts though. 978 01:04:34,900 --> 01:04:38,600 He got caught when he tried to get the contract notarized. 979 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:41,600 No. No. 980 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,500 Was it good? 981 01:04:48,100 --> 01:04:49,000 Thank you. 982 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:51,700 -You're welcome. -Can I help you? 983 01:04:51,900 --> 01:04:55,100 No, no, I'm gonna put them in the sink. Go sit down on the couch. 984 01:05:04,900 --> 01:05:06,200 So do you play the guitar? 985 01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:09,100 -What? -Do you play the guitar? 986 01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:14,100 Terribly. Someone traded me that for a wedding cake. 987 01:05:14,300 --> 01:05:17,900 Does that mean I have to claim it on my taxes now? 988 01:05:18,100 --> 01:05:22,600 -No. I'll leave it out of my final report. -Oh, thanks. 989 01:05:23,500 --> 01:05:24,900 Do you play? 990 01:05:25,100 --> 01:05:26,600 Not really. I only know one song. 991 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,200 Oh, play it. 992 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,600 No, I don't know it that well, actually. 993 01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:33,700 No, come on. I promise I'm not gonna laugh at you. Play it. 994 01:05:33,900 --> 01:05:36,100 No, no, no. Maybe some other time. 995 01:05:36,300 --> 01:05:37,800 All right. 996 01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:04,700 Ms. Pascal? 997 01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:08,400 -I.... -I know. 998 01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:10,500 I want you too. 999 01:08:30,500 --> 01:08:36,100 Harold's life was filled with moments both significant and mundane. 1000 01:08:36,300 --> 01:08:41,600 But to Harold, those moments remained entirely indistinguishable... 1001 01:08:41,800 --> 01:08:43,500 ...except for this. 1002 01:08:44,100 --> 01:08:49,000 As Ana let out a soft sigh and repositioned herself against him... 1003 01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:51,300 ...Harold knew somewhere in his heart... 1004 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:54,300 ...that this was one of the significant moments. 1005 01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:58,400 He knew she was falling in love with him. 1006 01:09:00,900 --> 01:09:02,800 Professor Hilbert. It's a comedy. 1007 01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:04,700 -What? -A comedy. 1008 01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:09,400 The woman. The one who hates me. Ana Pascal? 1009 01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:11,700 -Last night.... -Yeah? 1010 01:09:11,900 --> 01:09:13,500 She's falling in love with me. 1011 01:09:13,700 --> 01:09:15,500 -She is? -It's like a miracle. 1012 01:09:15,700 --> 01:09:18,000 The voice confirmed it in the middle of the night. 1013 01:09:18,200 --> 01:09:19,600 Well, that's wonderful, Harold. 1014 01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:22,900 I mean, it completely nullifies my list, but that's fantastic. 1015 01:09:23,100 --> 01:09:24,200 What list? 1016 01:09:24,400 --> 01:09:26,600 These are seven living authors whose prior work... 1017 01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,500 ...would seem to make them candidates to write your story... 1018 01:09:29,700 --> 01:09:32,400 ...based on the criteria you and I previously determined. 1019 01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:36,800 If your narrator is alive, she's on this list. 1020 01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:40,400 But it appears the list is of little use to you now. 1021 01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,600 Now that you're gonna live happily ever after. 1022 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:47,400 Oh, goodie. This woman, Karen Eiffel, she's one of my favorite authors. 1023 01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:48,900 -Hi. -Hi. 1024 01:09:49,100 --> 01:09:51,200 Beautiful tragedies. Just beautiful. Anyway... 1025 01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:55,900 ...let me quickly copy this list for you, just in case. 1026 01:09:57,700 --> 01:10:00,100 Sociopathic author. 1027 01:10:00,300 --> 01:10:02,900 -I just wanted to thank you. -Of course. 1028 01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:07,300 Listen, please, you must tell me if you hear the voice of the narrator again... 1029 01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:09,000 ...just for my own edification. 1030 01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:10,700 I will. 1031 01:10:13,300 --> 01:10:15,800 Well, it's called Death and Taxes. 1032 01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:18,800 Wow. You know, I'm from Texas. 1033 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:22,500 No. Not "Texas. " Taxes. 1034 01:10:22,700 --> 01:10:24,900 Death and Taxes. Death and Taxes. 1035 01:10:25,100 --> 01:10:27,100 Taxes. Like the Benjamin Franklin quote. 1036 01:10:27,300 --> 01:10:29,100 Precisely so. 1037 01:10:29,300 --> 01:10:31,300 This lady's a package, I'm telling you. 1038 01:10:31,500 --> 01:10:35,000 Tell us, what is this next book going to be about? 1039 01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:37,700 It's about interconnectivity. 1040 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,600 The looming certainty of death. 1041 01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:43,500 Men's fashion accessories. 1042 01:10:43,700 --> 01:10:45,600 -Oh, my God, that's her. -What? 1043 01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:48,800 -That's the voice. She's the narrator. -No, that can't be right. 1044 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:50,700 No, I'm positive. 1045 01:10:50,900 --> 01:10:53,300 Harold, this interview's a decade old. 1046 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:56,200 I didn't think anyone actually wore cuff links anymore. 1047 01:10:56,400 --> 01:10:58,100 That's her. 1048 01:10:58,300 --> 01:11:01,000 -She's British? -She's her. 1049 01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:03,900 -Karen Eiffel? -Professor Hilbert, I know that voice. 1050 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:06,300 Crap. 1051 01:11:07,100 --> 01:11:09,400 -What's wrong? -First of all, she wasn't on my list. 1052 01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:14,300 I figured you would have mentioned the accent and she doesn't.... 1053 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:16,600 She kills people. 1054 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:20,300 -What? -In every book she-- 1055 01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:23,000 The books are all about-- They die. She kills them. 1056 01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:26,200 -Kills who? -The heroes. 1057 01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:28,800 Four Black Veils. What is that? 1058 01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:31,600 It's about a girl who loses several members of her family... 1059 01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,400 ...in quick succession. 1060 01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:34,800 Where is she? 1061 01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:40,100 She's untraceable. Believe me, I used to teach a class on her. 1062 01:11:40,300 --> 01:11:43,600 I've written her letters. I mean, she's a hermit, she's a recluse. 1063 01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:47,000 Here. Here's the last book she wrote. 1064 01:11:47,200 --> 01:11:50,300 Look at the copyright. She hasn't published anything in 10 years. 1065 01:11:50,500 --> 01:11:52,800 She had knowledge of the city. Does she live here? 1066 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,500 She used to, yes, but I mean-- 1067 01:11:54,700 --> 01:11:57,700 Banneker Press. 2267 Wallace Street. Is that her publisher? 1068 01:11:57,900 --> 01:12:01,000 You're not listening. I said even if you find her she's not gonna-- 1069 01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:02,600 Thank you for your help. 1070 01:12:02,800 --> 01:12:04,600 She only writes tragedies! 1071 01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:06,200 I don't believe in God. 1072 01:12:34,300 --> 01:12:37,200 Okay, he's bringing her flours. 1073 01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:51,400 Kay, where you been? 1074 01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:55,300 I went out to buy cigarettes... 1075 01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:58,300 ...and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick. 1076 01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:00,900 Buying cigarettes? 1077 01:13:01,100 --> 01:13:04,500 As I was-- When I came out of the store... 1078 01:13:04,800 --> 01:13:07,100 ...it came to me. 1079 01:13:07,700 --> 01:13:09,000 How? 1080 01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,500 Well, Penny, like anything worth writing... 1081 01:13:11,700 --> 01:13:14,800 ...it came inexplicably and without method. 1082 01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:18,200 I see. Then what happens? 1083 01:13:19,100 --> 01:13:23,300 It's perfect, actually. I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. 1084 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:26,400 It's simple, ironic... 1085 01:13:26,900 --> 01:13:29,100 ...possibly heartbreaking. 1086 01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:31,700 Is that it? 1087 01:13:32,100 --> 01:13:33,100 Yes. 1088 01:13:33,300 --> 01:13:36,100 -You wrote it on legal sheets? -On the bus. 1089 01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:39,100 Well, then. 1090 01:13:42,500 --> 01:13:46,900 So I'll finish it today. 1091 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:50,800 I'll let the publishers know. 1092 01:13:51,500 --> 01:13:53,500 I'll begin packing my things. 1093 01:13:53,700 --> 01:13:55,700 I appreciate it. 1094 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:14,300 -Hi. Hello. Hi. -May I help you? 1095 01:14:14,500 --> 01:14:16,500 I need to speak to Karen Eiffel. 1096 01:14:16,700 --> 01:14:18,100 -I'm sorry? -Karen Eiffel. 1097 01:14:18,300 --> 01:14:20,500 She's one of your authors. I need to talk to her. 1098 01:14:20,700 --> 01:14:22,600 Well, sir, she's not here. 1099 01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:25,900 No. No, I know. I need to find her. I need to know where she is. 1100 01:14:26,100 --> 01:14:27,400 We're just the publishers. 1101 01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:31,400 Right. Of course. But there must be a way that I can contact her. 1102 01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,200 We have the address where her fan mail is sent. 1103 01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:36,700 No, I can't send mail. It's urgent. 1104 01:14:37,400 --> 01:14:38,600 How do you know her? 1105 01:14:39,700 --> 01:14:42,300 -I'm her brother. -Her brother? 1106 01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:45,800 -Her brother-in-law. -She has a sister? 1107 01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:48,900 No, I'm married to her brother. 1108 01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:52,400 Not in this state, the one over. 1109 01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:57,700 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 1110 01:14:57,900 --> 01:15:00,200 No. Okay. Listen. 1111 01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:07,000 I'm one of her characters. I'm new. I'm in her new book. 1112 01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:11,600 And she's going to kill me. Not actually. But in the book. 1113 01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:15,400 But I think it'll actually kill me so I just need to talk to her... 1114 01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:17,800 ...and ask her to stop. 1115 01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:34,200 Hi, Harold. Nice sweater. 1116 01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:38,800 Hi, Harold. Phones are out. 1117 01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:40,700 Hey, Harold, 19 percent of 4632...? 1118 01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,300 Hey, Harold. Back from your vaca? 1119 01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:49,900 Hey. Looking good. 1120 01:15:50,700 --> 01:15:53,100 -He looks terrible. -Yeah, banged up. 1121 01:15:54,700 --> 01:15:56,600 Wherever he went, I do not want to go. 1122 01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:58,100 Book me not there. 1123 01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:02,600 He's totally ignoring me. 1124 01:16:06,300 --> 01:16:08,000 Here, look at this now. There he goes. 1125 01:16:08,300 --> 01:16:09,400 It was good having you. 1126 01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:35,800 -Oh, dude, the phones are out. -Can I borrow your cell phone? 1127 01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:38,200 -The signal's down. -Damn it. 1128 01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:40,900 -You all right? -Dave, I need a favor. 1129 01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,800 -Sure, what is it? -Can I have some change? 1130 01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:50,200 Within moments, Harold found himself running across the plaza... 1131 01:16:50,400 --> 01:16:52,400 ...heading for the nearest pay phone. 1132 01:16:55,700 --> 01:16:57,300 At last, he spotted it. 1133 01:16:59,700 --> 01:17:02,600 But as Harold neared the phone, he saw it was occupied... 1134 01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:06,100 ...by an octogenarian determined to reach his daughter in Denver... 1135 01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:08,400 ...no matter how many quarters it took. 1136 01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:10,900 Fortunately, Harold remembered a bank of phones... 1137 01:17:11,100 --> 01:17:12,900 ...in the Sixth Street subway tunnel. 1138 01:17:13,100 --> 01:17:16,500 The baby's name isn't Mrs. Epstein. My daughter's name is Mrs. Epstein. 1139 01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:36,800 The first phone failed to give a dial tone. 1140 01:17:37,900 --> 01:17:39,700 And the second seemed to be splattered... 1141 01:17:39,900 --> 01:17:41,700 ...with a fresh batch of mucus. 1142 01:17:44,100 --> 01:17:46,200 Harold dialed the third phone... 1143 01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:51,100 ...fervently making sure to give each number key a specific forceful push. 1144 01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:14,000 Don't answer that! 1145 01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:16,100 Didn't you say this phone never r--? 1146 01:18:44,300 --> 01:18:46,600 -Hello? -Is this Karen Eiffel? 1147 01:18:46,800 --> 01:18:48,400 -Yes. -My name is Harold Crick. 1148 01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:50,800 I believe you're writing a story about me. 1149 01:18:51,800 --> 01:18:55,600 -I'm sorry? -My name is Harold Crick. 1150 01:18:56,300 --> 01:18:58,800 -Is this a joke? -No. 1151 01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:02,100 No, I work for the IRS. My name, Miss Eiffel, is Harold Crick. 1152 01:19:02,300 --> 01:19:05,700 When I go through the files at work I hear a deep and endless ocean. 1153 01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:08,700 -Oh, G--! -Miss Eiffel? 1154 01:19:09,700 --> 01:19:11,200 Hello? 1155 01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:13,600 Miss Eiffel? Hello? 1156 01:19:20,900 --> 01:19:22,100 Let him in. 1157 01:19:34,800 --> 01:19:36,100 Hello. 1158 01:19:36,600 --> 01:19:37,700 Hello. 1159 01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:40,600 I'm Penny. I'm Kay's assistant. 1160 01:19:40,800 --> 01:19:43,700 Oh, I'm Harold. Her main character. 1161 01:20:02,100 --> 01:20:03,700 Oh, my God. 1162 01:20:07,500 --> 01:20:09,100 Oh, my God. 1163 01:20:10,500 --> 01:20:12,100 Oh, my God. 1164 01:20:17,300 --> 01:20:18,600 Miss Eiffel? 1165 01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:22,200 Your hair. Your eyes. 1166 01:20:23,500 --> 01:20:25,000 Your fingers. 1167 01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:29,200 Your shoes. 1168 01:20:32,300 --> 01:20:33,500 Hello. 1169 01:20:37,700 --> 01:20:39,700 I'm Harold Crick. 1170 01:20:40,500 --> 01:20:42,200 I know. 1171 01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:45,400 How did you find me? 1172 01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:49,800 We audited you a little more than 10 years ago... 1173 01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:52,000 ...and your number was in the file. 1174 01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:56,900 I'm sorry, but this is incredibly strange. 1175 01:20:57,100 --> 01:20:58,700 You're telling me. 1176 01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:01,500 Didn't you think you were crazy? 1177 01:21:02,200 --> 01:21:03,700 Sort of. 1178 01:21:03,900 --> 01:21:07,400 But then you were right about everything. Like, everything. 1179 01:21:07,700 --> 01:21:09,800 And then you said, "Little did he know." 1180 01:21:10,100 --> 01:21:14,200 -"Little did he know"? -Yeah. It's third-person omniscient. 1181 01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:16,000 Jesus. 1182 01:21:16,200 --> 01:21:19,600 Which meant it was, well, you know, someone other than me. 1183 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,600 At least that's what Professor Hilbert said. 1184 01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:24,900 Professor Hilbert? 1185 01:21:25,200 --> 01:21:26,900 -Professor Jules Hilbert? -Yeah. 1186 01:21:28,200 --> 01:21:30,100 Yeah, he loves your books. 1187 01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:34,000 I love his letters. I don't-- 1188 01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:36,200 So you understand why I had to find you... 1189 01:21:36,400 --> 01:21:39,600 -...and ask you not to kill me. -What? 1190 01:21:40,100 --> 01:21:43,000 I mean, obviously you haven't written the end. 1191 01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:45,000 Harold.... 1192 01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:49,400 I mean, now since we've met and you can see that I exist... 1193 01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,600 ...you're not gonna kill me, right? 1194 01:21:54,500 --> 01:21:56,200 Have you written it? 1195 01:21:56,700 --> 01:21:58,300 I can-- No. 1196 01:21:58,500 --> 01:22:00,000 -Have you written it? -An outline. 1197 01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:02,400 Okay. But it's just an outline, right? 1198 01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:04,200 -Yeah, sort of. -"Sort of"? 1199 01:22:04,400 --> 01:22:06,000 -It's just not typed. -"Not typed"?! 1200 01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:07,700 -Maybe that's okay. -What does that mean? 1201 01:22:07,900 --> 01:22:11,300 -I'm sorry, I'm trying to write a book. -What do you mean it's "okay"? 1202 01:22:11,500 --> 01:22:13,500 -What do you mean you're sorry? -Kay. 1203 01:22:13,700 --> 01:22:15,500 Let him read it. 1204 01:22:18,300 --> 01:22:20,100 Let him read it. 1205 01:22:34,900 --> 01:22:37,400 -Did you find her? -Yeah. 1206 01:22:37,800 --> 01:22:41,200 -And? -I may already be dead... 1207 01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:43,200 ...just not typed. 1208 01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:45,200 Is that it? 1209 01:22:47,300 --> 01:22:48,600 Did you read it? 1210 01:22:48,800 --> 01:22:51,100 I tried, but I couldn't. 1211 01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:54,600 You have to read it. 1212 01:22:55,100 --> 01:22:57,700 You have to tell me what to do or what not to do. 1213 01:22:58,200 --> 01:23:00,700 If I can avoid it.... 1214 01:23:02,100 --> 01:23:04,000 If I have a chance.... 1215 01:23:04,500 --> 01:23:06,000 Please. 1216 01:23:12,800 --> 01:23:14,300 Okay. 1217 01:23:14,900 --> 01:23:16,100 Okay. 1218 01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:57,100 And here's your uniform. 1219 01:23:58,300 --> 01:24:01,100 It's a go. Banetta's outside, she'll assign you your locker. 1220 01:24:03,300 --> 01:24:06,200 -And you roll. -I'm ready. 1221 01:25:03,500 --> 01:25:05,200 Professor Hilbert? 1222 01:25:07,100 --> 01:25:09,400 -Hi, Harold. -Hi. 1223 01:25:11,300 --> 01:25:12,600 You look tired. 1224 01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:15,700 No, no, just calm. 1225 01:25:19,100 --> 01:25:21,000 Harold, I'm sorry. 1226 01:25:24,700 --> 01:25:26,400 You have to die. 1227 01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:28,600 What? 1228 01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:31,300 It's her masterpiece. 1229 01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:38,800 It's possibly the most important novel in her already stunning career... 1230 01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:42,700 ...and it's absolutely no good unless you die at the end. 1231 01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:45,600 I've been over it again and again... 1232 01:25:45,800 --> 01:25:49,400 ...and I know how hard this is for you to hear. 1233 01:25:53,500 --> 01:25:56,700 You're asking me to knowingly face my death? 1234 01:25:57,800 --> 01:25:59,500 Yes. 1235 01:26:01,000 --> 01:26:02,600 Really? 1236 01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:04,900 Yes. 1237 01:26:14,600 --> 01:26:19,100 I thought you'd.... I thought you'd find something. 1238 01:26:20,200 --> 01:26:21,500 I'm sorry, Harold. 1239 01:26:24,300 --> 01:26:28,900 Can't we just try and just see if she can change it? 1240 01:26:29,100 --> 01:26:31,500 -No. -No? 1241 01:26:31,700 --> 01:26:33,100 Harold... 1242 01:26:34,000 --> 01:26:37,300 ...in the grand scheme it wouldn't matter. 1243 01:26:39,500 --> 01:26:42,300 -Yes, it would. -No. 1244 01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:46,400 I could change. 1245 01:26:48,600 --> 01:26:50,700 I could quit my job. 1246 01:26:50,900 --> 01:26:53,600 I could go away with Ana. 1247 01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:56,600 I could be someone else. 1248 01:26:57,400 --> 01:26:59,500 Harold, listen to me. 1249 01:26:59,700 --> 01:27:02,100 I can't die right now. 1250 01:27:04,700 --> 01:27:07,200 It's just really bad timing. 1251 01:27:09,600 --> 01:27:12,700 No one wants to die, Harold, but unfortunately we do. 1252 01:27:14,600 --> 01:27:16,100 Harold.... 1253 01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:18,700 Harold, listen to me. 1254 01:27:20,900 --> 01:27:24,000 Harold, you will die someday, sometime. 1255 01:27:24,200 --> 01:27:26,400 Heart failure at the bank. 1256 01:27:26,900 --> 01:27:29,100 Choke on a mint. 1257 01:27:30,000 --> 01:27:33,300 Some long, drawn-out disease you contracted on vacation. 1258 01:27:33,500 --> 01:27:37,300 You will die. You will absolutely die. 1259 01:27:38,100 --> 01:27:41,600 Even if you avoid this death, another will find you. 1260 01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:47,600 And I guarantee that it won't be nearly as poetic or meaningful... 1261 01:27:48,000 --> 01:27:50,000 ...as what she's written. 1262 01:27:53,300 --> 01:27:55,200 I'm sorry... 1263 01:27:56,400 --> 01:27:59,100 ...but it's the nature of all tragedies, Harold. 1264 01:28:00,100 --> 01:28:03,900 The hero dies, but the story lives on forever. 1265 01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:46,600 -There's an empty seat right there. -No, I wanna sit down over here. 1266 01:29:22,300 --> 01:29:23,600 Kay? 1267 01:29:35,200 --> 01:29:36,600 Kay? 1268 01:29:39,300 --> 01:29:42,100 How many people do you think I've killed? 1269 01:29:44,200 --> 01:29:46,500 -Kay. -How many? 1270 01:29:47,000 --> 01:29:48,300 -I don't know. -Eight. 1271 01:29:49,100 --> 01:29:53,300 -Kay-- -I've killed eight people. I counted. 1272 01:29:53,900 --> 01:29:55,600 They're fictional. Get up. 1273 01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:57,800 Harold Crick isn't fictional. 1274 01:29:58,300 --> 01:30:01,000 -I don't-- -He isn't fictional, Penny. 1275 01:30:02,100 --> 01:30:06,100 Every book I've ever written ends with someone dying. Every one. 1276 01:30:06,900 --> 01:30:09,300 Really nice people too. 1277 01:30:09,500 --> 01:30:13,500 The book about Helen the schoolteacher. 1278 01:30:14,600 --> 01:30:19,800 I killed her the day before summer vacation. 1279 01:30:20,500 --> 01:30:22,600 How cruel is that? 1280 01:30:23,100 --> 01:30:26,400 And the civil engineer, Edward. 1281 01:30:26,600 --> 01:30:28,100 The one I trapped... 1282 01:30:28,300 --> 01:30:33,800 ...with a heart attack in rush hour. 1283 01:30:34,000 --> 01:30:35,900 I killed him. 1284 01:30:37,600 --> 01:30:39,600 I killed.... 1285 01:30:40,700 --> 01:30:42,800 Penny, I killed them all. 1286 01:31:16,600 --> 01:31:19,000 Miss Eiffel? Miss Eiffel? 1287 01:31:20,300 --> 01:31:22,200 -Harold. -Hi. 1288 01:31:22,400 --> 01:31:25,800 -I just finished it. -You just.... 1289 01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:28,800 Yeah, I read it all in one read on the bus. 1290 01:31:29,700 --> 01:31:31,400 It's lovely. 1291 01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:33,700 I like the part about the guitars. 1292 01:31:34,800 --> 01:31:38,600 Well, thanks, thanks. Goo-- Well, listen, I'm-- 1293 01:31:38,900 --> 01:31:43,400 No, I read it and I loved it. And there's only one way it can end. 1294 01:31:44,200 --> 01:31:47,800 I mean, I don't have much background in literary anything... 1295 01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:49,900 ...but this seems simple enough. 1296 01:31:52,900 --> 01:31:56,300 I love your book. And I think you should finish it. 1297 01:32:13,600 --> 01:32:15,500 The night before his death... 1298 01:32:15,700 --> 01:32:19,300 ...Harold unsuspectingly went about some usual business. 1299 01:32:20,800 --> 01:32:23,300 He finished his outstanding audits. 1300 01:32:25,200 --> 01:32:27,800 He made a few phone calls he had been putting off. 1301 01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:31,800 Listen, does your program have an age limit? 1302 01:32:32,400 --> 01:32:34,800 And he traveled to Ms. Pascal's... 1303 01:32:35,000 --> 01:32:38,300 ...where she made him meat loaf and chocolate pudding... 1304 01:32:38,500 --> 01:32:41,100 ...and the two watched old movies. 1305 01:32:42,900 --> 01:32:44,500 It was a nice enough evening. 1306 01:32:44,800 --> 01:32:48,600 And in any other circumstance it would've seemed commonplace. 1307 01:32:49,300 --> 01:32:52,700 In fact, the only thing that made this night significant... 1308 01:32:52,900 --> 01:32:55,200 ...was the morning it preceded. 1309 01:33:00,900 --> 01:33:03,200 I have to tell you something. 1310 01:33:03,400 --> 01:33:04,700 You do? 1311 01:33:05,600 --> 01:33:07,300 I do. 1312 01:33:08,100 --> 01:33:11,200 -Is it a secret? -Sort of. 1313 01:33:11,400 --> 01:33:12,900 Tell me. 1314 01:33:14,600 --> 01:33:16,600 I adore you. 1315 01:33:19,800 --> 01:33:21,900 I adore you too. 1316 01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:28,000 -That it? -No. 1317 01:33:29,200 --> 01:33:31,000 I have to tell you this. 1318 01:33:31,200 --> 01:33:33,800 I just want you to listen carefully. 1319 01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:35,600 Okay. 1320 01:33:36,900 --> 01:33:41,100 You can deduct the value of all the food you give away... 1321 01:33:41,300 --> 01:33:43,800 -...as a charitable contribution. -Harold. 1322 01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:49,300 No, no, no. In fact it amounts to more than what you're currently withholding. 1323 01:33:49,500 --> 01:33:51,700 And it doesn't break any tax laws. 1324 01:33:51,900 --> 01:33:56,100 Harold, the point is to break the tax laws. 1325 01:33:56,300 --> 01:33:59,700 I wanna make the world a better place too, Ana. 1326 01:34:00,600 --> 01:34:03,800 I think that means keeping you out of jail. 1327 01:34:07,800 --> 01:34:09,300 Okay. 1328 01:34:09,900 --> 01:34:11,400 Okay? 1329 01:34:11,600 --> 01:34:13,100 -Yeah. -Okay. 1330 01:34:13,300 --> 01:34:17,000 If you come over here... 1331 01:34:17,200 --> 01:34:21,400 ...and talk a little more tax talk in my ear. 1332 01:34:21,600 --> 01:34:23,900 Because I like it so much. 1333 01:35:46,900 --> 01:35:50,600 Much had changed for Harold over the past few weeks: 1334 01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:52,800 His attitude towards work. 1335 01:35:53,000 --> 01:35:55,300 His habitual counting. 1336 01:35:55,600 --> 01:35:57,400 His love life. 1337 01:36:01,500 --> 01:36:04,900 But of all the transmutations Harold Crick had undergone... 1338 01:36:05,100 --> 01:36:10,100 ...perhaps the most significant was that today on his return to work... 1339 01:36:10,300 --> 01:36:14,800 ...he was not late for the 8: 17 Kronecker bus. 1340 01:36:17,400 --> 01:36:19,100 What Harold had not understood... 1341 01:36:19,300 --> 01:36:21,700 ...about that Wednesday four weeks prior... 1342 01:36:21,900 --> 01:36:24,700 ...was that the time he received from his fellow commuter... 1343 01:36:24,900 --> 01:36:28,600 ...was, in fact, three full minutes later than the actual time... 1344 01:36:28,800 --> 01:36:31,100 ...and, therefore, three full minutes later... 1345 01:36:31,300 --> 01:36:36,000 ...than the time to which his watch and life had been previously set. 1346 01:36:37,100 --> 01:36:39,500 Not the worst of errors. 1347 01:36:40,900 --> 01:36:44,200 But if Harold had not set his watch to the incorrect time... 1348 01:36:44,400 --> 01:36:48,000 ...Harold would have again barely caught the 8: 17 Kronecker bus. 1349 01:36:48,600 --> 01:36:50,700 And he would not be approaching the bus stop... 1350 01:36:50,900 --> 01:36:54,100 ...precisely at 8: 14 this particular Friday. 1351 01:36:54,300 --> 01:36:55,800 Excuse me. 1352 01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:01,500 Harold? 1353 01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:05,000 An otherwise ignorable fact... 1354 01:37:05,600 --> 01:37:07,200 ...until the unthinkable occurred. 1355 01:37:41,000 --> 01:37:43,300 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1356 01:37:43,500 --> 01:37:45,200 I need for everyone to just stay seated. 1357 01:37:45,400 --> 01:37:46,900 Come on, son. 1358 01:37:52,100 --> 01:37:54,700 -What happened? I didn't see him. -It was not your fault. 1359 01:37:54,900 --> 01:37:57,200 He was trying to help the boy. Get your supervisor. 1360 01:37:57,400 --> 01:37:58,600 I don't believe this. 1361 01:37:58,800 --> 01:38:01,300 -It was all my fault, though. -No, it wasn't. 1362 01:38:01,500 --> 01:38:02,700 Is he okay? 1363 01:38:02,900 --> 01:38:05,700 -It looks likes he's breathing. -I don't think he's breathing. 1364 01:38:05,900 --> 01:38:07,200 Oh, my God. 1365 01:38:22,200 --> 01:38:23,300 Come in. 1366 01:38:27,000 --> 01:38:28,100 Excuse me. 1367 01:38:31,900 --> 01:38:34,100 Are you Professor Hilbert? 1368 01:38:35,800 --> 01:38:37,200 Yes. 1369 01:38:39,500 --> 01:38:42,000 Hi. I'm Karen Eiffel. 1370 01:38:42,800 --> 01:38:47,200 I believe we have a mutual acquaintance. 1371 01:38:48,600 --> 01:38:50,800 Please, sit down. 1372 01:38:51,800 --> 01:38:54,300 No, I just came by to.... 1373 01:38:55,400 --> 01:38:56,800 Here. 1374 01:39:00,100 --> 01:39:03,000 -Is that it? -Yes. 1375 01:39:03,900 --> 01:39:05,600 Have you read it? 1376 01:39:07,200 --> 01:39:08,900 Is that all right? 1377 01:39:12,400 --> 01:39:13,900 Yes. 1378 01:39:16,500 --> 01:39:21,400 I think, perhaps, you may be interested in the new ending. 1379 01:39:33,900 --> 01:39:35,800 Good afternoon. 1380 01:39:36,700 --> 01:39:38,500 Oh, hi. 1381 01:39:39,100 --> 01:39:41,400 It's a pretty brave thing you did. 1382 01:39:44,500 --> 01:39:47,500 Stepping in front of that bus was pretty brave. 1383 01:39:49,100 --> 01:39:51,800 Kind of stupid, but pretty brave. 1384 01:39:52,000 --> 01:39:53,700 Oh, yeah. 1385 01:39:54,600 --> 01:39:56,300 Is that boy okay? 1386 01:39:56,500 --> 01:39:58,700 He's just fine. Scratched up is all. 1387 01:39:58,900 --> 01:40:00,500 Oh, good. 1388 01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:04,500 Am I okay? 1389 01:40:05,500 --> 01:40:07,400 Well, you're not dead. 1390 01:40:07,600 --> 01:40:10,400 On the other hand, it looks like you cracked your head... 1391 01:40:10,600 --> 01:40:12,800 ...you broke three bones in your leg and foot... 1392 01:40:13,000 --> 01:40:15,700 ...you suffered four broken ribs, fractured your left arm... 1393 01:40:15,900 --> 01:40:19,800 ...and severed an artery in your right, which should've killed you in minutes. 1394 01:40:20,000 --> 01:40:21,200 But amazingly... 1395 01:40:21,400 --> 01:40:24,100 ...a shard of metal from your watch obstructed the artery... 1396 01:40:24,300 --> 01:40:27,200 ...keeping the blood loss low enough to keep you alive... 1397 01:40:27,400 --> 01:40:28,900 ...which is pretty cool. 1398 01:40:30,200 --> 01:40:32,500 Yeah. So with some physical therapy... 1399 01:40:32,700 --> 01:40:35,400 ...a few months of rest, you should be fine. 1400 01:40:35,800 --> 01:40:38,900 Well, sort of. We weren't able to remove the shard of watch... 1401 01:40:39,100 --> 01:40:42,000 ...from your arm without risking severe arterial damage. 1402 01:40:42,200 --> 01:40:44,500 You'll be okay. You'll just have a piece of watch... 1403 01:40:44,700 --> 01:40:47,000 ...embedded in your arm the rest of your life. 1404 01:40:47,600 --> 01:40:50,500 You're very lucky to be alive, Mr. Crick. 1405 01:40:51,400 --> 01:40:52,400 Yeah. 1406 01:40:56,600 --> 01:41:00,000 -Dr. Mercator, Mr. Crick has a visitor. -Sure. 1407 01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:04,500 -My God, Harold. -Hey. 1408 01:41:07,300 --> 01:41:10,000 -I'm okay. It's all right. -Harold. 1409 01:41:10,200 --> 01:41:11,700 I'm fine. 1410 01:41:11,900 --> 01:41:14,500 Harold, you're not fine. 1411 01:41:14,700 --> 01:41:18,100 Look at you. You're severely injured. 1412 01:41:18,300 --> 01:41:21,300 -No, I'm fine. -What--? What happened? 1413 01:41:22,500 --> 01:41:24,100 I stepped in front of a bus. 1414 01:41:24,300 --> 01:41:27,100 What? Why? 1415 01:41:27,300 --> 01:41:30,900 There was a boy. I had to push him out of the way. 1416 01:41:31,100 --> 01:41:33,200 What? 1417 01:41:34,100 --> 01:41:37,300 I had to keep this boy from getting hit. 1418 01:41:40,800 --> 01:41:43,800 You stepped in front of a bus to save a little boy? 1419 01:41:44,800 --> 01:41:46,800 I didn't have a choice. 1420 01:41:47,100 --> 01:41:48,700 I had to. 1421 01:42:03,100 --> 01:42:06,200 It's.... It's okay. 1422 01:42:07,500 --> 01:42:10,200 -It's not great. -No. 1423 01:42:10,400 --> 01:42:12,900 It's okay. It's not bad. 1424 01:42:13,300 --> 01:42:16,700 It's not the most amazing piece of English literature in several years... 1425 01:42:16,900 --> 01:42:19,200 ...but it's okay. 1426 01:42:21,300 --> 01:42:22,200 You know... 1427 01:42:24,700 --> 01:42:27,000 ...I think I'm fine with "okay." 1428 01:42:27,200 --> 01:42:29,700 It doesn't make sense with the rest of the book though. 1429 01:42:29,900 --> 01:42:32,500 No, not yet. I'll rewrite the rest. 1430 01:42:32,700 --> 01:42:35,100 My assistant said she'd go back to the publisher... 1431 01:42:35,300 --> 01:42:37,800 -...and request more time. -Why? 1432 01:42:38,200 --> 01:42:39,900 Don't know. It's awfully sweet though. 1433 01:42:40,100 --> 01:42:42,600 No, why did you change the book? 1434 01:42:45,000 --> 01:42:46,500 Lots of reasons. 1435 01:42:46,800 --> 01:42:49,500 I realized I just couldn't do it. 1436 01:42:50,800 --> 01:42:52,800 Because he's real? 1437 01:42:53,300 --> 01:42:56,100 Because it's a book about a man... 1438 01:42:56,300 --> 01:42:59,300 ...who doesn't know he's about to die and then dies. 1439 01:42:59,500 --> 01:43:03,200 But if the man does know he's going to die and dies anyway... 1440 01:43:03,400 --> 01:43:05,800 ...dies willingly, knowing he could stop it, then.... 1441 01:43:07,600 --> 01:43:11,600 I mean, isn't that the type of man you want to keep alive? 1442 01:43:14,000 --> 01:43:16,800 As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie... 1443 01:43:17,000 --> 01:43:21,000 ...he finally felt as if everything was going to be okay. 1444 01:43:22,000 --> 01:43:25,600 Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair... 1445 01:43:25,800 --> 01:43:28,200 ...in routine and constancy... 1446 01:43:29,300 --> 01:43:31,500 ...in hopelessness and tragedy... 1447 01:43:32,100 --> 01:43:35,600 ...we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. 1448 01:43:36,400 --> 01:43:39,100 And fortunately, when there aren't any cookies... 1449 01:43:39,300 --> 01:43:44,000 ...we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin... 1450 01:43:45,400 --> 01:43:47,400 ...or a kind and loving gesture... 1451 01:43:51,200 --> 01:43:52,600 ...or a subtle encouragement... 1452 01:43:57,000 --> 01:43:59,300 ...or a loving embrace... 1453 01:44:01,600 --> 01:44:04,400 ...or an offer of comfort. 1454 01:44:05,200 --> 01:44:08,900 Not to mention hospital gurneys... 1455 01:44:10,900 --> 01:44:13,000 ...and nose plugs... 1456 01:44:19,700 --> 01:44:22,100 ...and uneaten Danish... 1457 01:44:24,200 --> 01:44:26,300 ...and soft-spoken secrets... 1458 01:44:30,200 --> 01:44:33,100 ...and Fender Stratocasters... 1459 01:44:33,700 --> 01:44:38,400 ...and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. 1460 01:44:39,500 --> 01:44:41,800 And we must remember that all these things... 1461 01:44:42,000 --> 01:44:44,200 ...the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties... 1462 01:44:44,400 --> 01:44:46,400 ...which we assume only accessorize our days... 1463 01:44:46,600 --> 01:44:51,000 ...are, in fact, here for a much larger and nobler cause: 1464 01:44:51,300 --> 01:44:54,500 They are here to save our lives. 1465 01:44:55,100 --> 01:44:57,700 I know the idea seems strange. 1466 01:44:57,900 --> 01:45:01,500 But I also know that it just so happens to be true. 1467 01:45:02,500 --> 01:45:04,000 And so it was: 1468 01:45:04,200 --> 01:45:06,600 A wristwatch saved Harold Crick.