1
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:10,275
[accordion plays up-tempo tune]
2
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,057
[low-tempo beat]
3
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:50,816
[man] Seasoned crooks swear
you only remember two days
about your stretch in jail:
4
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,484
The day you get in...
5
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,787
[prisoners shouting]
6
00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:56,755
- Oh, boy.
- ...and the day you get out.
7
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,690
[shouting continues]
8
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,394
But I'll tell you,
those guys,
9
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,229
they never been
to a Polish prison.
10
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,632
'Cause, buddy, you don't forget
a second of your stay
11
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,268
in the Warsaw penal system.
12
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:14,373
Oh, boy.
13
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:19,711
And you never stop thinking
about what you done
that got you there,
14
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,247
and what you're going to
do when you get out.
15
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,818
And who you're going
to do it to.
16
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,424
I reckon it takes
a betrayal before you realize
17
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:37,729
the real currency in the world
ain't money... it's trust.
18
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:43,569
Hey. So, guess
I'm topsies, huh?
19
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:45,704
[man grunts, mumbles]
20
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:50,209
'Cause if you got no trust...
21
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,711
Oh, boy.
22
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,581
...then what do you got?
23
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,649
[dramatic music]
24
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:02,254
[male choir,
singing in Polish]
25
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:11,463
Now, there's no such thing
as one last big job,
26
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,699
but Poland was pretty close.
27
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,468
We were doing a smooth switch
28
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,871
using a standard base
to our scam.
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00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,140
The first thing you
need is a mark.
30
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:24,143
Stash Bartkowiak was just like
all the others:
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00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:28,247
rich, corrupt and most
definitely dangerous.
32
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:31,517
So Stash picks up
a stolen Gauguin ripped
from an Oslo gallery
33
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,418
by a couple of smash
and grabbers.
34
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,387
So, of course, he wants to
get the painting authenticated.
35
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,356
But what he didn't know,
36
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,826
was the man he turned to
was Nicky Calhoun.
37
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,629
And Nicky Calhoun
is my half-brother.
38
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:47,432
A crew needs an idea man
and ours was Nicky.
39
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:50,469
Paddy McCarthy,
he was our Rolodex,
40
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,671
the guy who knows
any guy you need to know.
41
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,641
And Guy De Cornet
was our forger.
42
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,743
Best scratcher I've ever known.
43
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,812
Now there was a time,
if you ask anyone in our game,
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00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,715
who the best damn wheelman
around was,
45
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:07,252
and I'm guaranteeing you,
you're going to hear the name
Crunch Calhoun.
46
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:10,355
And that's got nothing to do
with how fast I drive
47
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,558
and everything to do
with trust.
48
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,427
'Cause without that
you've got anarchy.
49
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,962
I like that jacket.
50
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,830
Well, clothes tell
you a lot about the man.
51
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,465
That's why it's a saying.
52
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,301
I don't know, Nicky.
Take Guy there.
53
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:25,537
The only thing his fancy white
leotard tells me is that
54
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,439
- he ain't circumcised.
- [laughing]
55
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,908
- You misunderstand fashion.
- Fatsoes. Look at you.
56
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,810
- Fatsoes? [laughing]
- [Guy]
Women go crazy for this...
57
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,745
Boys! There it is!
58
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,617
[Guy] I'll see you
at the lab, Crunch.
59
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,587
[car engine starts]
60
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,363
Don't touch the art, lad.
All alarmed.
61
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:11,450
Wow! Love the track suits.
62
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,620
Fellas, I'd like you to meet
Professor O'Connor.
63
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,822
Doc, these are the fellas.
64
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:20,392
As I said, Dr. "O" here,
is real discreet.
65
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,394
Very discreet,
gentlemen.
66
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:29,668
Oh. Paul Gauguin.
"Tahitian Beach," 1893.
67
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,271
Painting is stolen.
But is real?
68
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,841
We'll see.
Needs a density scan.
69
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,643
What is density scan?
70
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,912
I'm not so sure myself,
but doctor knows best.
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00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,720
[beeping]
72
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:03,635
[Nicky] OK, great. So a guy
walks into a bar with a monkey.
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00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:21,820
Oh. What is this?
74
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,822
What?
75
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,358
- No, no, no, no, no.
- What?
76
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,393
- More red. More red.
- No, no, no, no, no.
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00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:29,828
Don't do this, Guy, please.
You're killing me.
78
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,930
They're identical.
Just swap the frames!
79
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,565
My work... [speaks French]
80
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,701
Oh fuck, Guy! Come on,
they're identical!
81
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,704
- Just change them!
- My work must be perfect-o!
82
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,407
You've got five minutes.
83
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,844
[Nicky] So I say,
"I'm looking for Mario."
84
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,980
And this kid says, "There's
a thousand Marios in Naples."
85
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,983
I say, "Yeah,
but this one's a criminal."
86
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,453
And he goes, "Two thousand!"
87
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,922
[laughs]
88
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,791
[Crunch] Guy. Guy.
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00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,561
Guy! They will fuckin' kill
Nicky and Paddy
90
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,930
if I don't make it
back there in time!
91
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:09,601
Guy, you got ten seconds.
That's it. Ten!
92
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:15,440
Nine, eight, seven, six, five.
Put it in.
93
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:20,011
- Three, two, one. Now!
- Au revoir.
94
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:23,582
- [laughing]
- Ah, fuck!
95
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,856
[sirens]
96
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:33,959
Bastard!
97
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:41,566
So naturally I tell
the Turkish prostitute,
"I'll take two."
98
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,749
[screams]
99
00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:04,423
[speaking Polish]
100
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:15,500
So are any of you guys
Ukrainian?
101
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,669
No? OK then.
102
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,082
Ah, fuck!
103
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,701
[Stash speaking Polish]
104
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:09,955
She's a genuine Gauguin, boys.
Priceless.
105
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,696
I don't believe this.
106
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,665
There's millions of dollars
of paintings and
we're doing nothing.
107
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,901
- Leave it, lad.
- [Nicky] This is Poland!
108
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,103
We can do whatever
the fuck we want.
109
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:28,907
Nicky, boy, the Gauguin's
worth more than five rooms
of paintings in this place
110
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,008
and they're all alarmed.
111
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,977
Are you kidding me?
112
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,078
There's no alarms.
113
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,080
[alarm]
114
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,649
There's alarms.
115
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:41,152
[all laughing]
116
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,791
[man speaking Polish]
117
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,739
[speaking Polish]
118
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,610
Boys, let's all split up!
119
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:09,981
Train to Berlin. Ten AM.
Bright and early like!
120
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,149
[squealing tires]
121
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,118
[Nicky] Shit!
122
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:29,868
Go! Here. What are you...
what are you...?! Wrong way!
123
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,337
[crashing]
124
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,906
[Crunch] That crash
was a stroke of luck.
125
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:39,110
And the cops showed up before
Stash could kill him.
126
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,314
Uh... [clears throat]
127
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:45,784
Did I tell you the one
about the, uh,
128
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,253
three prostitutes
and the bruised melon?
129
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,156
[grunting]
130
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,058
We only want painting back.
131
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,927
One painting, one arrest.
132
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,630
It could be you or someone else.
133
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:06,371
You have record in Europe,
so that's 20 years sentence.
134
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,140
We make deal, huh?
135
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,944
The painting
and a fall guy.
136
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,049
[Crunch] For Nicky, I figure
it was just basic math.
137
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,885
He's facing 20 years
and I got a clean sheet.
138
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,655
I can't blame him for that.
139
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:24,923
But I can hate him for it.
140
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,626
[prisoners chattering]
141
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,361
Oh, boy.
142
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,963
[voices fade]
143
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,634
[low-tempo music]
144
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,081
[Crunch] So I went home.
145
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,385
And I couldn't go back
to the life.
146
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:56,021
The trust was gone.
147
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,989
Crew was gone.
148
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,692
And everybody went
their separate ways.
149
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:03,395
And I met a girl.
150
00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:05,664
Someone I could bank on.
151
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,666
And even if I couldn't, buddy,
I'll tell you,
152
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,769
she wasn't the worst person
I shared a bunk with lately.
153
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,371
But I could bank on Francie.
154
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:17,442
Francie was a young buck
I caught pinching hubcaps
off my truck.
155
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:20,412
Most folks probably would
have called the cops,
but I gave him a job.
156
00:11:20,414 --> 00:11:25,684
'Cause every now and then, you
got to take a leap of faith.
157
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:29,721
Hey, Crunch. Lace 'em up.
158
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:35,927
The only way we're gonna
get the crowd tomorrow
is if you take a dive today.
159
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,697
Nope, not gonna happen,
not again.
160
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,098
It pains me to say it,
Crunch,
161
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,866
but the only reason
why these folks are here
162
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,902
is in the hope that
you crack your skull open.
163
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:47,038
You have to crash your bike.
That's what you do.
164
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,208
[man on P.A.) A 188 stitches,
26 broken bones.
165
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:54,079
Twelve totaled bikes.
Three comas.
166
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,181
Twice pronounced legally dead.
167
00:11:56,183 --> 00:12:02,020
- I'll give you $700.
- The one, the only,
Crunch Calhoun!
168
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,123
Let me say this out loud,
169
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,058
'cause I can't believe
my own ears.
170
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,261
You expect me to deliberately
take a dive, risk my life,
171
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,764
for 700 bucks?
172
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,132
- [rock music plays]
- [crowd cheering]
173
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,468
- Twelve.
- Seven.
174
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,203
- Eleven.
- Six.
175
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,271
- Eight.
- Deal.
176
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,506
Call the ambulance.
177
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,975
� Fire
178
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:28,413
� The righteous won't sink
if they're on fire �
179
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,215
[man on P.A.]
Ladies and gentlemen,
180
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,016
let's give old Crunch
a moment of silence
181
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:36,855
as he prepares to go down, down,
down into the ring of fire!
182
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,456
How'd she do? Tell
me at least a thousand.
183
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,926
No, $800. So just
don't do it, Crunch.
184
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,095
I'll pay you $800
not to spill 'er.
185
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,397
If you got $800,
I'm payin' you too much.
186
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,901
- Just don't do it, bud.
- [groans]
187
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,904
I'll be all right,
Francie. Besides,
188
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,773
"Fortune favors the bold."
189
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,341
Who said that one?
190
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,843
- Virgil.
- Right.
191
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,312
[� Richard Wagner:
"Ride of the Valkyries"]
192
00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:07,819
[revs engine, tires squeal]
193
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,189
[� Roy Orbison: "In Dreams"]
194
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,793
� A candy-colored clown
they call the sandman �
195
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:18,463
� Tiptoes to my room
every night �
196
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:22,100
� Just to sprinkle stardust
and to whisper �
197
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:27,138
� "Go to sleep,
everything is all right" �
198
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,206
[camera shutter clicks]
199
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:33,044
� I close my eyes
200
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:37,549
� Then I drift away
201
00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:41,486
� Into the magic night
202
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:46,324
� I softly say
203
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:51,095
� "Oh, smile and pray
204
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:55,466
� Like dreamers do
205
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,837
� Then I fall asleep...
206
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:03,575
[woman on PA, indistinct]
207
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:07,111
Excuse me, sir. Would you
consent to a voluntary search?
208
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:12,984
Right this way, please.
209
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,587
Bad luck, chief.
210
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:19,991
Thank you.
211
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,864
Ground rules,
same as last time.
212
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,232
You talk when
I tell you to talk
213
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,167
and when I don't,
you do not talk.
214
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,302
Don't bark at me.
I'm not your dog.
215
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,238
Did I say to talk?
216
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,273
Because I don't recall
telling you to talk.
217
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,275
How many more times
must I do your job
218
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:40,011
before I've paid my
proverbial debt to society?
219
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:44,015
Warning: You make me look
stupid, I will crush you.
220
00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:48,086
- That looked hot.
- Yes, a little bit.
221
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,921
We're going to start
with "good cop, bad cop".
222
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,389
- I'm not a cop.
- OK.
223
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,458
How about "good cop,
just do what I fuckin' say"?
224
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,193
You're not a cop.
225
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:59,063
Correction. The "pol" in
Interpol, it stands for police.
226
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,365
Then where is your pistol?
227
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,033
I don't need a gun.
228
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,135
I've got something far more
dangerous than that.
229
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,071
Is it a whistle that you blow
to summon the real police
230
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,907
when a crime
is being committed?
231
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,175
No. It's actually a pen.
232
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:14,379
And, with it,
I can deny your parole.
233
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,382
So why don't you shut the hell
up and follow my lead?
234
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,219
Where's the fucking painting,
fucko?
235
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:25,189
Whoa.
236
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:28,693
My name is Agent Bick. This is
my associate, Samuel Winter.
237
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:31,462
[Nicky] I know Sam.
238
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,197
Sam, what are you doing
with Dirty Harry, here?
239
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,600
You know how they pair
professional athletes
240
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,402
- with slow kids?
- Yep.
241
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,170
It's kind of like that.
242
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,541
Two weeks ago, this painting
"Model, Rear-View"
243
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:47,011
by Georges Seurat was stolen by
an art collector in Mexico City
244
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,579
by a woman we had
under surveillance.
245
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,716
Yeah, I've never seen
that woman before...
246
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,184
...before yesterday.
247
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,553
Do I look like
a fucking clown to you?
248
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:59,023
Clowns try to be funny. You're
just unintentionally hysterical.
249
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:03,361
- [laughs]
- Shut your giggle hole
and open the damn case.
250
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:07,598
It's called "Tio Puno Loco".
251
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,301
Which translates
"Uncle Crazy Fist."
252
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,438
Now, if you gentlemen
will excuse me, I've got
to water ski...
253
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,975
Sit down! Winter,
this is not "pointerism".
254
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,377
Every painting tells a story.
255
00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,280
All good art tells a story.
256
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,315
This one tells two.
257
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,319
[Sam] Say Nicky here
is stopped at Customs.
258
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,490
All they see is this rubbish,
259
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,360
not the masterpiece underneath.
260
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:39,163
Acetate solution loosens
the top acrylic layer.
261
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:45,136
Peel it on back and you're
left with the original
oil painting underneath.
262
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:48,039
[Bick] What the fuck is that?
263
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:52,710
It's a marvelous picture.
I'm delighted to have it as
part of my collection.
264
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:58,449
Well, boys,
have a nice day.
265
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,318
Where's the Seurat?!
266
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,388
Long gone.
267
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,757
[up-tempo music]
268
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:10,028
- Sunny.
- Yeah. How'd it go?
269
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,496
Ah, it went.
270
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,065
Bad luck, chief.
271
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,736
You got the money?
272
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,372
There you go.
273
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,575
It feels a little light.
274
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,077
Well, why don't you open it?
275
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,213
"I'm sorry.
276
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,682
I'm sorry for hitting you
with a lead pipe."
277
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,718
What the fuck...
[grunts]
278
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,587
[music continues]
279
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,090
[indistinct chattering]
280
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,299
Crunch, honey,
we're out of ice.
281
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,701
[Crunch] Oh yeah, all right.
282
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,572
Thank you, Crunchie.
283
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,673
Adios, fellas.
284
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,242
Ice? $50 for ice?
285
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,544
It's wintertime.
286
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,579
Crunch, she's, she's not
even trying anymore.
287
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,648
Happy wife,
happy life, right?
288
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,349
So you say.
289
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,819
Oh, I don't know, Francie.
290
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:11,622
When I was a young buck
I thought I'd make history,
291
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:15,193
not just sit there
reading about it.
292
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:20,198
Hell, I thought
I'd be a great man.
293
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,500
OK, so you're not...
294
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:26,304
stereotypically great,
like Alexander the Great.
295
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:31,309
But you're great like,
great like, like...
296
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,844
You're a great guy!
297
00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:36,481
Great men don't take dives
for a couple of hundred bucks.
298
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,586
And great men
don't miss their fate.
299
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:45,223
Somewhere along the line I...
300
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,192
I missed mine, Francie.
301
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:51,262
I was probably staring at
it the whole time and I just...
302
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,565
I missed it.
303
00:18:56,802 --> 00:19:01,405
My God, you're a downer.
A fuckin' boner killer.
304
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:04,442
And what are you going to do?
Are you gonna sell fuckin'
insurance or something?
305
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,812
Just shut the fuck up
and cheer up, please.
306
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,647
[door bell]
307
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,649
Allow me.
308
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,520
Yo, Dennis Calhoun?
309
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,688
Who's asking?
310
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:20,458
- It's fuckin' Sunny.
- Sounds about right.
311
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:25,429
Hey, Crunch, there's some
guy with an eye-patch here
to see you.
312
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,776
[grunts]
313
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,548
[grunting] Oh, easy, man!
314
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,850
Where's your fuckin' brother?
315
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,619
I was gonna cut bait
and go home then I realized
Nicky said he had a brother.
316
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:52,323
[people chattering]
317
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,892
- [grunting]
- Oww. Fuck!
318
00:19:56,562 --> 00:20:01,465
Sweet Baby Jesus.
What are you, a pirate?
319
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,403
Hey, hey, hey. Look! I don't
know where Nicky is, all right.
320
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,572
- He said you work with him.
- Yeah, a long time ago.
321
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:10,308
Now, look, I got like $300
stashed in the bedroom there.
322
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,244
It's yours. A guy in your
line of work might
prefer doubloons...
323
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,412
I'm not a fuckin' pirate!
324
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,814
[muffled shouting]
325
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,649
I don't even talk to Nicky.
I hate him.
326
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,352
Here's what's what.
I want the 30 grand
327
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,521
- or I want that
fuckin' painting.
- What painting?
328
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,689
The Seurat.
329
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,357
Whoa! Whoa! What?
330
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,658
- The Seurat!
- What?
331
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,428
The Georges Seurat,
you ignorant fuck!
332
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,630
The seminal French
"Post-Impressionalist".
333
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,298
The father of pointillism.
334
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,767
That Georges Seurat,
you fuckin' baboon.
335
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:39,270
Now I want the 30 grand,
336
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,504
the painting
337
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,840
or a bullet in your
fucking head!
338
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:46,344
[knock at door]
339
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,312
- [Francie, muffled] Hey, uh...
- [flushes toilet]
340
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:51,015
- Crunch, is everything OK?
- [Crunch] Yeah.
341
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,818
What... what's happening,
exactly?
342
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,388
- Nothing.
- What?
343
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,690
I'm being held at
gunpoint by a pirate.
344
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,359
I'm in the bathroom.
What do you think, Francie?
345
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:04,028
All right. Sorry
for fuckin' askin'!
346
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,831
I ain't leavin'
without the 30 grand.
347
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:11,736
Sorry, Sinbad, but I don't
think that musketoon's gonna
even fire.
348
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:15,339
So go ahead and pull the trigger
'cause I got no painting,
349
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:19,277
no Nicky and
no 30 fucking grand!
350
00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:25,616
Who owns that
fuckin' bike outside?
351
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,051
Wait a minute, man.
352
00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:29,687
[music on radio]
353
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:40,398
- [grunting] What the fuck?
- What's going on?
354
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,401
- Nicky's back.
- What?
355
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:44,835
And so am I.
356
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:47,938
What the fuck just happened?
357
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:52,310
Fate! Fate is
what just happened.
358
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,978
[Crunch on phone] Uncle Paddy.
359
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,547
How are you, lad?
Still in the land of the living?
360
00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:59,517
You wanted to know when I was
ready to go back to work.
361
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,485
Well, I'm ready.
362
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:07,692
- Citizenship?
- Various.
363
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,026
Anything to declare?
364
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:12,596
Nothing but my undying
love for you, beautiful.
365
00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:15,933
Pull over.
366
00:22:21,773 --> 00:22:23,674
[Crunch] Hey, Paddy?
367
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,551
[whistles]
368
00:22:34,553 --> 00:22:35,820
[Francie] What's that?
369
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:37,688
A Seurat.
370
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:41,592
If this is even close to real,
Paddy's gonna make a bundle.
371
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:44,428
Oh, it's real.
372
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:47,898
I was hoping to get Paddy
to move it for me.
373
00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:54,004
Oh, hi. I'm Nicky...
374
00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:55,639
I know.
375
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:57,875
Right.
376
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:03,514
Well, could you be so kind as to
give me and my brother a moment
here to catch up?
377
00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:14,091
So.
378
00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:18,462
How'd you get the scar?
Motorbike?
379
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,899
No.
380
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,601
All right, man.
381
00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:26,070
[Crunch and Nicky grunting]
382
00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:33,511
[mutters silently]
383
00:23:35,113 --> 00:23:37,748
You must be Francie, are ya?
384
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,684
Paddy McCarthy.
But for you, it's Uncle Paddy.
385
00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:43,087
So, is there a donnybrook
a-brewin' in there?
How she gettin' on?
386
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,189
[muffled grunting continues]
387
00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:47,958
I understood the word "Francie".
388
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,961
Fightin', are they? Ha.
So much alike those two.
389
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,797
They're literally nothing alike.
390
00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:54,732
Oh, different mothers.
391
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:56,567
They grew up on different
sides of the country.
392
00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:59,170
Their father was the
Johnny Appleseed of sperm.
393
00:23:59,172 --> 00:24:01,005
That's revolting.
394
00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:04,542
You're gettin' old, Crunch.
395
00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:06,811
You never used to be that easy.
396
00:24:06,813 --> 00:24:10,448
Look, if it's an apology you
need to put this thing to bed...
397
00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:13,551
An apology? You sent me
to prison, man.
398
00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:15,186
Exactly. I owe you one.
399
00:24:15,188 --> 00:24:18,823
No. You owe me
five and a half.
400
00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:22,193
But right now,
I just wanna go back to work.
401
00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,228
Let's do that, then.
Let's go back to work.
402
00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,964
I mean, I practically
apologized here.
403
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,600
You boys done fistin'
in to one another?
404
00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:33,070
Ah, man. I wish you wouldn't
use that turn of phrase.
405
00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:34,772
So, can we get down to work now?
406
00:24:34,774 --> 00:24:37,107
No, Paddy. I'm not gonna help
Nicky fence that painting.
407
00:24:37,109 --> 00:24:38,943
This has nothin' to do
with Nicky's paintin'.
408
00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:41,178
And, by the way, Dennis,
he is your brother
409
00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:44,148
- and one day you're gonna have
to forgive him.
- Please don't call me Dennis.
410
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:47,117
And, Nicky Boy,
you're gonna pay the piper
for what ya did to Dennis.
411
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,054
- I'll see to it meself.
- I want to pay the piper.
412
00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:52,490
Still not workin'
with Nicky, Paddy.
413
00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:55,059
Oh, just listen to the story
before you say no, lad.
414
00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:56,694
There's a good moral
to this story.
415
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,796
How big a moral are
we talking about here?
416
00:24:58,798 --> 00:25:01,866
One and a half million dollars.
417
00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:04,568
Jesus.
418
00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:08,005
[Paddy] Two weeks ago,
I gets a knock on me door.
419
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,940
[techno music]
420
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:17,114
Julius Friedman.
You've heard the name.
421
00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:19,950
Just stories.
I've heard stories.
422
00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:22,520
[Reverend] The things in this
man's collection, I mean,
423
00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:27,057
if it were public knowledge,
it'd close the books
on a hundred major art thefts.
424
00:25:28,593 --> 00:25:31,295
Believe me, I've seen it.
425
00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:35,266
So then Friedman asked me
if I've ever heard of
the Gutenberg Bible.
426
00:25:35,268 --> 00:25:39,069
- [bell tolls]
- [Reverend] Gutenberg invents
the printing press in 1440.
427
00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:41,672
It changes everything.
428
00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:44,942
The first book he printed
was the Gutenberg Bible,
429
00:25:44,944 --> 00:25:46,877
the Mona Lisa of books.
430
00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:49,713
The most valuable
book in the world.
431
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,248
[Crunch] Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Back that shit up.
432
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,284
We can't steal
a Gutenberg Bible.
433
00:25:53,286 --> 00:25:55,953
We're not stealing
the Gutenberg Bible.
434
00:25:55,955 --> 00:26:00,558
The second book Gutenberg
printed was well outside
the beliefs of the Church.
435
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,995
[Reverend] The Gospel
According to James.
Well, that's a legend.
436
00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:06,997
The church has been
trying to bury this gospel
437
00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:09,567
since before the time
of Constantine.
438
00:26:09,569 --> 00:26:13,203
And, to Friedman, that makes
the Gospel According to Jimmy
439
00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:14,738
even more priceless.
440
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:17,675
So we nick
your fancy book,
441
00:26:17,677 --> 00:26:21,145
hand it on over,
and make scads of loot.
442
00:26:21,147 --> 00:26:23,314
But the thing is,
443
00:26:23,316 --> 00:26:25,916
it's already been stolen.
444
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:32,189
So last month at the
Vanderloos Gallery
in Amsterdam,
445
00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:37,094
our man almost gets nabbed
by a cop who sees him
crawlin' out the window.
446
00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:41,332
So how is it I've not heard
that such a fancy,
447
00:26:41,334 --> 00:26:43,334
famous book
as yours was nicked?
448
00:26:43,336 --> 00:26:45,269
No one knows it's stolen.
449
00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:48,172
We swapped it out for a fake.
450
00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:53,611
No one's gonna know it's
missing... until Saturday.
451
00:26:53,613 --> 00:26:55,980
Now, here's
where we come in.
452
00:26:55,982 --> 00:26:58,782
They flew the book from
Europe to Canada.
453
00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:02,252
Since 9/11 you can't fly
anythin' into America anymore.
454
00:27:02,254 --> 00:27:06,190
It was supposed to go from
Montreal to Detroit,
crossin' through here.
455
00:27:06,192 --> 00:27:11,095
But the driver got greedy and
tried to smuggle a brick of
hash along with the Gospel.
456
00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:14,264
So they arrest our man,
put the Gospel in storage
457
00:27:14,266 --> 00:27:17,167
and have an expert coming
in on Saturday.
458
00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:21,972
But any expert's gonna look at
that Gospel and know it's the
Guttenberg original.
459
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:24,241
Which means the Gospel
According to James
460
00:27:24,243 --> 00:27:27,778
is gonna be put under so many
locks and so many keys
461
00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:33,150
that Julius Friedman will never
catch a whiff of it again.
462
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,688
We get the Bible,
we take it to Detroit.
463
00:27:37,690 --> 00:27:39,957
We collect one and a half
million dollars.
464
00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:42,726
And that, laddiekins, is that.
465
00:27:48,099 --> 00:27:50,067
Well, you're shittin' me, right?
466
00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:53,971
First off, I ain't ever heard of
this Gospel According to Jimmy.
467
00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:59,243
And number two, we're not
equipped to rob an international
border station.
468
00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:03,847
Look! There's guards.
There's cameras everywhere.
469
00:28:03,849 --> 00:28:07,117
This would take, like,
months of planning and skill
sets we just don't possess!
470
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,020
Forget it! We're not
the A-Team here, guys.
471
00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:13,424
I'd peg us at a D-minus
for this kind of thing.
472
00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,960
I thought you had something,
Paddy.
473
00:28:18,096 --> 00:28:20,397
- I'm out.
- Hey, Crunch...
474
00:28:20,399 --> 00:28:23,000
- Leave him, lad.
- I got him.
475
00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:25,302
Let's go, boy.
476
00:28:25,304 --> 00:28:28,839
[Bick] Sir, I'm telling you,
it's happening.
477
00:28:28,841 --> 00:28:31,175
- [man over phone]
What's happening?
- Paddy's here, Nicky's here
478
00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:34,445
and they all just happened
to converge in the city
where Crunch lives?
479
00:28:34,447 --> 00:28:36,714
And Crunch, we know he's
desperate for money.
480
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:38,248
Sir, this is
all about the Seurat.
481
00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:41,218
So I need you to authorize eyes
on every entry point
482
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,220
into the country within
a half a day's travel.
483
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:46,223
I need a full surveillance kit,
I need manpower
and I need a gun.
484
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:49,960
- Look, there's no fuckin' way
you're getting a firearm.
- OK. No gun.
485
00:28:51,196 --> 00:28:53,430
Come on! Hold up!
486
00:28:53,432 --> 00:28:55,432
Let's take it down,
you're a little testy.
487
00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:57,768
Yeah, well, jail
will do that to a man.
488
00:28:57,770 --> 00:29:01,205
Let me add that "Polish Prison"
isn't quite as hilarious
as it sounds.
489
00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:03,240
Whoa! Pardon me.
490
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,843
I can't believe
you're still doin' that.
491
00:29:05,845 --> 00:29:06,977
- What?
- That.
492
00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:08,846
Eh, keeps me sharp.
493
00:29:08,848 --> 00:29:10,914
Listen... [sighs]
494
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:14,785
Bottom line is, I know that
you're hard up for cash.
495
00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:17,254
And let's just say,
hypothetically,
496
00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:20,791
I feel bad and I wanna
make it up to you.
497
00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:23,994
So we do this thing
with Paddy
498
00:29:23,996 --> 00:29:26,497
and I cut you in
for ten percent on my end.
499
00:29:26,499 --> 00:29:30,033
A sort of "Sorry for fucking
you over" money. Huh?
500
00:29:30,035 --> 00:29:32,503
Oh. Hi, little girl.
What's your name?
501
00:29:32,505 --> 00:29:35,773
- Robin.
- Oh yeah? Very cute.
502
00:29:36,841 --> 00:29:40,177
Everything out of
your mouth is nothin'.
503
00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:43,013
- How could you say that?
- Gee, I don't know.
504
00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:46,283
Maybe 'cause you just knocked
over a nine-year-old little
Chinese girl.
505
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,485
There's supposed to be
a code, Nicky!
506
00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:51,288
You never prey upon
the virtuous or the poor.
507
00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:53,323
You never put the paycheck
over your honor.
508
00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:55,325
And you never,
ever betray your family!
509
00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:57,961
Sure, maybe it's all
just horseshit
510
00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:00,330
that we feed ourselves
so we can go to sleep at night.
511
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:02,833
Maybe it's horseshit so that
we can fancy ourselves
512
00:30:02,835 --> 00:30:05,536
a cut above the thugs and
the gangsters of the world.
513
00:30:05,538 --> 00:30:07,538
But I bought into that
horseshit, Nicky!
514
00:30:07,540 --> 00:30:11,074
And you, you just trample
all over that horseshit.
515
00:30:11,076 --> 00:30:14,845
And you just, now you,
you got shit all over your,
your boots, you know.
516
00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:17,047
You, you just... you,
you got shitty boots.
517
00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:18,582
Hey, the analogy's
breaking down.
518
00:30:18,584 --> 00:30:20,184
Yeah, maybe a little.
You know what I fuckin' mean.
519
00:30:20,186 --> 00:30:21,451
Hey, what's a fella got to do
520
00:30:21,453 --> 00:30:22,920
to make amends with you?
521
00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:24,188
The only thing I trust about you
522
00:30:24,190 --> 00:30:26,223
is you'll be a greedy,
snaky motherfucker
523
00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:28,492
- the second you see an angle.
- There is no angle.
524
00:30:28,494 --> 00:30:30,294
There's always
an angle with you, man.
525
00:30:30,296 --> 00:30:32,963
You're always hedging,
you're always working it.
526
00:30:32,965 --> 00:30:36,834
You think this is
about money, Crunch?
527
00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:38,569
Well, I got news for you.
528
00:30:40,939 --> 00:30:43,273
Think again.
529
00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:46,310
Gotta be a cheaper
way to do this.
530
00:30:47,545 --> 00:30:49,379
� Now tell me, baby
Tell me �
531
00:30:49,381 --> 00:30:51,381
� What kind Of man are you?
532
00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:55,285
Just because he says he's sorry
doesn't make him a changed man.
533
00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:59,323
Like just 'cause you
like being drunk doesn't
make you an alcoholic.
534
00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:00,624
Ah, shit. Lola. Lola.
535
00:31:00,626 --> 00:31:04,394
Babe. Yeah. Hey.
536
00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:07,431
Go. I need
to talk to Crunch.
537
00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:11,435
[Crunch] What are you
doin' with him?
538
00:31:11,437 --> 00:31:13,537
Nicky told
me you were out.
539
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:15,572
- Yeah.
- I told him you're back in.
540
00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:17,007
[Crunch] Forget it.
This thing smells.
541
00:31:17,009 --> 00:31:18,942
Crunch! We need the money.
542
00:31:18,944 --> 00:31:21,011
How are we gonna
pay our bills?
543
00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:22,913
Wow! She's good.
544
00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:26,583
Oh. So, so you
made her do this?
545
00:31:26,585 --> 00:31:28,919
No. Crunch needs this.
546
00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:31,121
He needs me.
547
00:31:31,123 --> 00:31:33,957
It's a brother thing.
You wouldn't understand.
548
00:31:33,959 --> 00:31:36,660
Oh. Well, what I
understand is that,
549
00:31:36,662 --> 00:31:40,030
that's my guy and
he doesn't need you.
550
00:31:40,032 --> 00:31:45,135
Well, he needs someone to stop
him from taking dives for $800.
551
00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,107
Take care.
552
00:32:01,319 --> 00:32:05,222
All right. I'll do it.
But this one we do my way.
553
00:32:05,224 --> 00:32:07,057
What did ya have in mind?
554
00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:10,394
Well, let's just say things are
gonna get a little loud.
555
00:32:10,396 --> 00:32:12,462
[up-tempo music]
556
00:32:12,464 --> 00:32:14,464
[tires squealing]
557
00:32:14,466 --> 00:32:16,133
[Crunch] That's where
the motorcycle kicks in.
558
00:32:16,135 --> 00:32:18,936
Simultaneously, Francie
has broken out
559
00:32:18,938 --> 00:32:21,104
of our giant,
ceramic Trojan Horse
560
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,073
with at least three minutes
of oxygen left.
561
00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:25,342
Paddy's taking care of
the guards, after rappelling
562
00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:27,945
through the ceiling and
changing out of his cat suit.
563
00:32:27,947 --> 00:32:30,314
And Nicky's already
dealt with the main gate
564
00:32:30,316 --> 00:32:34,651
using 2.5 pounds
of all-American TNT.
565
00:32:34,653 --> 00:32:37,487
In and out in 4.25 minutes.
566
00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:41,725
This may be the worst idea
in the history of the world.
567
00:32:41,727 --> 00:32:43,560
We just need a computer guy!
568
00:32:43,562 --> 00:32:46,330
Crunch, there is no
computer guy!
569
00:32:46,332 --> 00:32:51,034
There's no dude who can feed a
video loop to make some security
guard think all is hunky dory,
570
00:32:51,036 --> 00:32:54,638
while burglars in cat suits
rappel from the ceiling.
571
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,376
By the way, I think Uncle
Paddy's black Spandex days
are way behind him.
572
00:32:59,378 --> 00:33:02,446
And as for
your Trojan Horse thing,
573
00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:04,748
well, I don't even know
where to begin with that.
574
00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:07,217
I actually thought that
was kind of bad-ass.
575
00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:09,019
Pardon me, you are who?
576
00:33:09,021 --> 00:33:10,053
He's my apprentice.
577
00:33:10,055 --> 00:33:13,056
Oh. So you're a wizard now?
578
00:33:13,058 --> 00:33:15,025
Ah, fuck you, Nicky.
579
00:33:15,027 --> 00:33:18,061
Look, the Reverend's got
somebody on the inside.
580
00:33:18,063 --> 00:33:21,098
And we need to find out
who that is. Uncle Paddy,
581
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:23,633
I want you to call the Reverend
and get us a name.
582
00:33:23,635 --> 00:33:25,469
[low-tempo music]
583
00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:42,619
Call me Ponch.
584
00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:45,389
I'm Nicky. Paddy.
Francie. Crunch.
585
00:33:45,391 --> 00:33:49,192
Those are some shitty aliases.
Y'all sound like
chocolate bars.
586
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:52,329
Where's Twix? [laughs]
587
00:33:52,331 --> 00:33:56,767
Oh, wait. Crunch Calhoun?
588
00:33:56,769 --> 00:33:59,569
[gasping] No! Dude.
589
00:33:59,571 --> 00:34:04,374
I once saw you almost
jump six cars in Buffalo.
Changed my life.
590
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:07,077
Listen, the Reverend said
that you could help us out
for 10,000.
591
00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:10,747
Tempting, but not a chance. No.
I told the Reverend everything
I know for twice that.
592
00:34:10,749 --> 00:34:14,084
And I got so sick
from nerves I didn't eat,
shit or sleep for a week.
593
00:34:14,086 --> 00:34:15,118
I'm not your guy.
594
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,654
If you were our guy.
595
00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:21,191
If I were your guy, I'd go about
forgetting it.
596
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:25,095
There's 12 cameras, 12 of them.
That's one dozen cameras.
597
00:34:25,097 --> 00:34:27,531
- Any in the storage room?
- No, but everywhere else.
598
00:34:27,533 --> 00:34:31,301
Three guards, backup generator.
It's impossible.
599
00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,203
I don't accept that.
600
00:34:33,205 --> 00:34:35,172
Well, accept it, Snickers.
601
00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:37,240
There's always a way.
602
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:40,343
All right, look.
603
00:34:40,345 --> 00:34:42,345
I'll tell you what I told
the Reverend, OK?
604
00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:44,815
That we called an expert.
She comes in Saturday at 10.
605
00:34:44,817 --> 00:34:46,817
Don't call me again.
606
00:34:46,819 --> 00:34:49,619
You said, "She".
Who's the "she"?
607
00:34:49,621 --> 00:34:52,255
- Who?
- The expert.
608
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:54,524
Olga Something-Long.
609
00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:57,527
Olga Something-Long?
610
00:34:57,529 --> 00:35:01,832
Olga Panofsky-Cienfuegos?
611
00:35:01,834 --> 00:35:03,733
[Poncho]
Something like that.
612
00:35:03,735 --> 00:35:06,303
[chuckles]
613
00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:08,472
Later, Crunch.
614
00:35:10,174 --> 00:35:13,477
Wait, why... Who's,
who's Olga Something-Long?
615
00:35:13,479 --> 00:35:14,845
A badly burnt bridge.
616
00:35:14,847 --> 00:35:16,880
Oh, she was intoxicating.
617
00:35:16,882 --> 00:35:20,183
Thanks to Uncle Fucks-A-Lot,
there's no way we can get near
her.
618
00:35:20,185 --> 00:35:21,318
- [chuckles]
- Wait. Why not?
619
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,353
Old Sloppy Balls McCarthy here
620
00:35:23,355 --> 00:35:25,222
slept with her and then
slept with her sister.
621
00:35:25,224 --> 00:35:27,357
She was intoxicating too.
622
00:35:27,359 --> 00:35:30,861
It's too bad. Olga would've
helped out for a little cash.
623
00:35:30,863 --> 00:35:32,262
She wasn't exactly a nun.
624
00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:34,364
No, she certainly was not.
625
00:35:34,366 --> 00:35:36,266
There's gotta be like,
what, ten experts
626
00:35:36,268 --> 00:35:38,435
in the whole country
they could've called.
627
00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:42,806
Paddy probably balled
half of them. Let it go.
There's always another way.
628
00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:46,676
[Francie] Can we please stop
talking about old people
fucking?
629
00:35:48,746 --> 00:35:51,181
- [Paddy sighs]
- [car engine starts]
630
00:35:51,183 --> 00:35:54,618
OK. I got the plan.
631
00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:57,754
No. You've got "a plan."
632
00:35:57,756 --> 00:35:59,789
This ain't a dictatorship,
Nicky.
633
00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,591
[Nicky] We need a forger.
Let's call Dirty Ernie.
634
00:36:01,593 --> 00:36:06,296
[Crunch] Dirty Ernie? No, if we
need a forger we call Guy.
635
00:36:06,298 --> 00:36:07,831
What time is it in France?
636
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,733
[up-tempo music]
637
00:36:11,302 --> 00:36:14,204
[telephone rings]
638
00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:16,706
- Hello?
- [Nicky] Yeah, Guy,
it's Nicky.
639
00:36:18,609 --> 00:36:20,343
I do not know you, Nicky.
640
00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:22,279
The son-of-a-bitch
hung up on me.
641
00:36:22,281 --> 00:36:23,914
Here. Come on.
642
00:36:23,916 --> 00:36:25,549
[telephone rings]
643
00:36:26,617 --> 00:36:29,553
- Hello?
- Hey, Guy. [speaks French]
644
00:36:29,555 --> 00:36:32,822
[laughs, speaks French]
Hey, Crunch!
645
00:36:32,824 --> 00:36:35,625
Wow, no. Sorry. I just used up
the totality of my French there.
646
00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:39,729
[laughs] It's OK.
When you speak French, it's like
a donkey cock right in my ear.
647
00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:43,767
I'm on Paddy's phone so I'm
gonna keep it short. How ya
fixed for work?
648
00:36:43,769 --> 00:36:46,469
You are working? With Paddy?
649
00:36:46,471 --> 00:36:48,939
- Yeah.
- With Nicky?
650
00:36:48,941 --> 00:36:50,907
Listen, I'll explain it all
to you if you come over here.
651
00:36:50,909 --> 00:36:54,878
- To America? Absolument.
- Not exactly America. Canada.
652
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,713
Hm. America Light.
653
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:58,949
[rock music]
654
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,320
[electronic beeping]
655
00:37:03,322 --> 00:37:06,523
[alarm]
656
00:37:06,525 --> 00:37:08,592
OK, you want to throw
things? Throw things, OK!
657
00:37:08,594 --> 00:37:10,627
I don't give a shit! Motherfuck!
658
00:37:10,629 --> 00:37:13,330
OK. OK. No, be careful with
that. No, don't do that, OK?
659
00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:15,665
I want to see the piece of paper
that says you can go through
that!
660
00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:17,400
No, don't touch it.
That is $2,000...
661
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:21,871
He's clean. First Nicky,
then Paddy, now Guy.
662
00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:24,374
- I'm telling you,
something's up.
- This is bullshit!
663
00:37:24,376 --> 00:37:27,310
- And you know it
and you know it!
- I thought we had a 10-32.
664
00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:32,449
Ten thirty-two? You trying
to impress me with numbers?
665
00:37:32,451 --> 00:37:37,354
I'll give you an
impressive number: 52.
666
00:37:37,356 --> 00:37:40,457
That's the number of millions
they said I stole.
667
00:37:40,459 --> 00:37:42,926
I got a number for you: one,
668
00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:45,328
as in you help me land this one
and you're out.
669
00:37:45,330 --> 00:37:46,496
On the lives of my kids.
670
00:37:46,498 --> 00:37:47,697
I've seen your kids.
671
00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:49,266
You'd be better off
without them.
672
00:37:49,268 --> 00:37:50,333
You're a cunt.
673
00:37:50,335 --> 00:37:51,801
You wouldn't know a vagina
674
00:37:51,803 --> 00:37:54,471
if it was four foot tall
and staring you in the face.
675
00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:57,040
I'm gonna punch you
in the fucking...
676
00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:02,679
- Aw, shit. Interpol.
- Interpol?!
677
00:38:02,681 --> 00:38:04,547
[Crunch]
No, no, no. Don't look.
678
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:07,951
There's no way
that's a coincidence.
679
00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:09,686
That can't be a coincidence.
680
00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:11,588
What do we do?
What's the play?
681
00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:13,390
- I'll talk to him.
- No.
682
00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:14,724
He'll talk to me.
He won't talk to you.
683
00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:15,725
I said no!
684
00:38:15,727 --> 00:38:18,028
Interpol's a real thing?
685
00:38:18,030 --> 00:38:21,398
I'm not going to cut
my fuckin' leg off.
686
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,066
- Five minutes.
- Get outta here, Francie.
687
00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:24,868
- Crunch... Yeah, OK.
- Now.
688
00:38:30,007 --> 00:38:33,043
- Crunch.
- Sam?
689
00:38:34,712 --> 00:38:38,481
Men of our vintage
should be retired.
690
00:38:40,718 --> 00:38:42,852
You know, when I heard you were
working for the other side,
691
00:38:42,854 --> 00:38:46,356
I just couldn't
believe it.
692
00:38:46,358 --> 00:38:49,092
At least tell me they don't
make you wear a wire.
693
00:38:49,094 --> 00:38:52,095
No. They don't make me
wear a wire.
694
00:38:52,097 --> 00:38:56,599
And I get to see
some fine art.
695
00:38:56,601 --> 00:39:00,937
So... what do you think they're
talking about down there?
696
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:04,874
Still about the art, huh?
697
00:39:04,876 --> 00:39:06,810
My mother got me into it.
698
00:39:06,812 --> 00:39:11,715
We were always hard up,
but she did her best.
699
00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:14,484
Worked as a barmaid
between kids.
700
00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:18,121
When I was ten or 11,
701
00:39:18,123 --> 00:39:22,392
she took me to
the V and A in London.
702
00:39:23,494 --> 00:39:26,129
And I saw an object
that blew my mind.
703
00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:32,902
It was a drinking cup fashioned
from a single piece of jade.
704
00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:37,874
It was just a cup,
but it was perfect.
705
00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:41,544
And it made me look at
everything differently.
706
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:46,816
Turner, Monet, Vermeer,
those guys kept my eyes open.
707
00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,685
It was a feeling I had,
708
00:39:48,687 --> 00:39:52,155
a completeness when
art touched me.
709
00:39:54,158 --> 00:39:59,529
I only started getting
into trouble when I
wanted to possess it.
710
00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:05,101
And you...
what makes you do it?
711
00:40:05,103 --> 00:40:06,503
Money.
712
00:40:06,505 --> 00:40:09,639
Well, at least you're honest.
713
00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:12,542
It's always nice to know...
714
00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:15,912
...who you can trust.
715
00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:18,415
I'm gonna find this painting.
716
00:40:18,417 --> 00:40:22,786
Not because I want to get
you or your brother in trouble.
717
00:40:22,788 --> 00:40:25,989
I just want to hold it.
718
00:40:29,693 --> 00:40:32,429
Let me ask you a question.
719
00:40:32,431 --> 00:40:34,464
You ever seen the inside
of Sing-Sing?
720
00:40:34,466 --> 00:40:37,066
- I haven't.
- 'Cause I know a lot of guys
721
00:40:37,068 --> 00:40:40,103
who would like to
fuck you inside there.
722
00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:44,073
Are you hitting on me?
723
00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:47,844
I will...
724
00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:49,446
Fuck!
725
00:40:49,448 --> 00:40:52,081
It's been a breath of fresh air.
726
00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,150
Looking good, Sam.
727
00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,724
Interpol? Fucking Interpol?!
728
00:41:01,726 --> 00:41:04,961
I'm not going to fuckin' prison!
I'm not cut out for that shit!
729
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:06,863
You see these fuckin' arms,
man?
730
00:41:06,865 --> 00:41:10,200
These wet noodles will prevent
very few prison rapes.
731
00:41:10,202 --> 00:41:12,535
Francie, I promise
you on my mother's eyes,
732
00:41:12,537 --> 00:41:14,938
- you're gonna be fine.
- You don't know that.
733
00:41:14,940 --> 00:41:19,476
You gotta trust me. Look, ever
since I've been back,
734
00:41:19,478 --> 00:41:23,079
you've been there for me
like nobody else.
735
00:41:23,081 --> 00:41:28,551
Now... I might have to
toss in the "f" word here
736
00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:32,255
to make this a bit easier but...
I fuckin' love you, man.
737
00:41:32,257 --> 00:41:34,791
OK, my turn.
738
00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:37,627
That has to be Guy.
739
00:41:37,629 --> 00:41:40,063
[both laughing]
740
00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:42,832
All right, Guy just landed
and we got a little problem.
741
00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:46,202
- Interpol.
- All right. Well, we'll adapt.
742
00:41:46,204 --> 00:41:48,238
OK?
743
00:41:51,775 --> 00:41:54,544
So?
744
00:41:54,546 --> 00:41:57,780
I'm curious to know what kind
of game you're running?
745
00:41:57,782 --> 00:42:00,817
I was curious about your game.
746
00:42:00,819 --> 00:42:04,621
We need to get on the same page.
747
00:42:04,623 --> 00:42:06,789
What do we do first?
748
00:42:06,791 --> 00:42:09,292
- [Nicky] First, we're
gonna need a fake.
- [Guy] How good must it look?
749
00:42:09,294 --> 00:42:11,027
Good enough to fool the eye.
750
00:42:12,062 --> 00:42:13,162
Identical on the outside,
751
00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:15,632
inside doesn't matter.
752
00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:18,067
You've got four days.
753
00:42:18,069 --> 00:42:22,705
Crunch, I'm sorry for making fun
of your Trojan Horse idea
because it actually plays.
754
00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:25,708
We're gonna hide that fake
in a Trojan Horse of our own.
755
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:26,943
Something that draws attention.
756
00:42:26,945 --> 00:42:29,012
Paddy, see what you can
come up with.
757
00:42:29,014 --> 00:42:31,881
I got the perfect thing in mind.
758
00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:33,750
[Crunch] I don't know,
what do you think?
759
00:42:33,752 --> 00:42:36,953
It makes me feel...
760
00:42:36,955 --> 00:42:40,256
...safe and scared.
761
00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:43,226
Mostly scared.
762
00:42:43,228 --> 00:42:46,963
It's weird. It's
like it follows you.
763
00:42:47,965 --> 00:42:50,833
First, you caress.
764
00:42:50,835 --> 00:42:54,137
Too rough, she cracks.
765
00:42:54,139 --> 00:42:57,173
Too soft, she will not
succumb to the touch.
766
00:42:57,175 --> 00:43:03,112
Just right. It's you. Ahh.
767
00:43:04,715 --> 00:43:06,849
Then we need to get our horse
into their corral.
768
00:43:06,851 --> 00:43:08,685
But, how?
769
00:43:08,687 --> 00:43:11,154
You say this border station,
they inspect everything.
770
00:43:11,156 --> 00:43:14,190
Exactly. Everything going in,
everything going out.
771
00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:17,293
We can't walk in our fake
or walk out our original.
772
00:43:17,295 --> 00:43:20,863
So we're gonna get them
to take it in for us.
773
00:43:20,865 --> 00:43:25,902
We're going to use our sullied
reputation to our advantage
for once.
774
00:43:28,105 --> 00:43:31,841
- Crunch sets off
the bells and whistles.
- [electronic beeping]
775
00:43:31,843 --> 00:43:35,612
There's a standard 30-day
impound on undocumented art.
776
00:43:35,614 --> 00:43:38,348
And, because it's Crunch,
convicted art thief,
777
00:43:38,350 --> 00:43:41,351
transporting art without
the proper paperwork,
778
00:43:41,353 --> 00:43:44,387
they're gonna call
the gallery where it was
purchased right away,
779
00:43:44,389 --> 00:43:46,689
to make sure
that it's not stolen.
780
00:43:46,691 --> 00:43:49,092
But it ain't goin' anywhere
until Crunch shows up
781
00:43:49,094 --> 00:43:51,794
with the proof of ownership,
which we've got.
782
00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:54,163
And we know
where it's being kept.
783
00:43:54,165 --> 00:43:56,132
The toad is in the hole.
784
00:43:56,134 --> 00:43:57,900
[Nicky] What the fuck
are you talking about?
785
00:43:57,902 --> 00:44:01,204
The fuckin' huge vagina is
in the border station now.
786
00:44:01,206 --> 00:44:02,939
[Nicky] Because of Crunch's
record,
787
00:44:02,941 --> 00:44:04,974
Interpol will be brought in.
788
00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:08,778
But, since no crime has been
committed, they can't touch us.
789
00:44:08,780 --> 00:44:11,014
What the hell
am I looking at?
790
00:44:11,016 --> 00:44:14,250
It's four foot high and
staring you in the face.
791
00:44:14,252 --> 00:44:16,853
And on the day,
what about Interpol?
792
00:44:16,855 --> 00:44:19,255
They're going to be watching us,
which we need to fix.
793
00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:23,760
Francie and I will distract them
while the switch goes down
at the border station.
794
00:44:23,762 --> 00:44:27,730
But most important thing
is we've gotta deal with
Olga Something-Long.
795
00:44:27,732 --> 00:44:29,298
Paddy?
796
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:31,300
Well, that'll be something hard.
797
00:44:31,302 --> 00:44:34,370
Things between Olga and me
are rough as a bear's arse.
798
00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:35,938
She's got to miss
that appointment.
799
00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:38,374
But, more importantly,
is we need those forms.
800
00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:41,978
- No paperwork, no access.
- I'll start tomorrow.
801
00:44:49,386 --> 00:44:51,120
Olga, darlin'.
802
00:44:51,122 --> 00:44:53,456
Oh, no.
803
00:44:53,458 --> 00:44:56,025
No, no, no, no,
you don't get to do this.
804
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:59,195
It took me years to forget.
805
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:02,832
You are dead to me.
You are dead!
806
00:45:02,834 --> 00:45:04,434
I'm not asking
for forgiveness.
807
00:45:04,436 --> 00:45:06,969
God can forgive me,
that's his job.
808
00:45:06,971 --> 00:45:09,405
You have no control over me.
809
00:45:09,407 --> 00:45:11,007
We should never be together.
810
00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:12,909
I hate you.
811
00:45:12,911 --> 00:45:16,312
You crushed me heart
and you stained me soul.
812
00:45:16,314 --> 00:45:18,314
Fuck you.
813
00:45:18,316 --> 00:45:21,217
No, darlin'.
814
00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:25,455
Fuck you.
815
00:45:26,790 --> 00:45:28,324
[grunting]
816
00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,932
Are we ready to do this?
817
00:45:36,366 --> 00:45:38,768
[speaks French]
818
00:45:41,138 --> 00:45:42,505
Let's roll!
819
00:45:43,507 --> 00:45:46,375
Just, uh, try to act natural.
820
00:45:46,377 --> 00:45:49,045
Yeah. I, I don't
know what that means.
821
00:45:49,047 --> 00:45:51,748
What do we have here?
822
00:45:53,117 --> 00:45:57,220
Two perps, one box, red.
823
00:45:57,222 --> 00:45:59,322
I betcha there's
something in that.
824
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:03,893
Here we go.
They're on the move.
825
00:46:03,895 --> 00:46:06,763
Thank you.
I needed to know that.
826
00:46:06,765 --> 00:46:10,466
Please continue to point out the
obvious to me as it comes up.
827
00:46:10,468 --> 00:46:13,402
- You're starting the car.
- OK. That's enough.
828
00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:14,837
You're putting
the car into gear.
829
00:46:14,839 --> 00:46:17,373
I so very much want to stab you
830
00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:19,142
in the face and throat.
831
00:46:19,144 --> 00:46:21,544
With your magic pen, no doubt.
832
00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:30,186
Saturday, ten AM.
833
00:46:30,188 --> 00:46:32,889
Guy walks into
the border station.
834
00:46:32,891 --> 00:46:34,323
And, man, will you
please wear a suit?
835
00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:36,959
No offense, but you look
like a slutty elf.
836
00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:40,863
- What... is "elf"?
- [all laugh]
837
00:46:40,865 --> 00:46:44,167
[Nicky] The station gets
a call the day before
838
00:46:44,169 --> 00:46:46,235
from a woman
they think is Olga.
839
00:46:46,237 --> 00:46:48,437
I cannot make it,
but my colleague, Philippe,
840
00:46:48,439 --> 00:46:50,840
- he should be there.
- Hello.
841
00:46:50,842 --> 00:46:54,410
Oh. I think I chipped a tooth.
842
00:46:54,412 --> 00:46:56,512
[both grunting]
843
00:47:05,222 --> 00:47:08,257
[Nicky] Olga gets a call
the day before from a man
844
00:47:08,259 --> 00:47:09,892
she thinks is
from the border.
845
00:47:09,894 --> 00:47:13,296
So, while we'll not be
requiring your services,
846
00:47:13,298 --> 00:47:16,032
we will, of course, still pay.
847
00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:32,548
Yeah, where're we at?
848
00:47:32,550 --> 00:47:34,016
I got Guy on the other line.
849
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:36,219
OK, I'm in. How
will I know where it is?
850
00:47:36,221 --> 00:47:38,387
It's pink and
three feet tall.
851
00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:40,356
You're a Frenchman,
you'll find it.
852
00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:42,124
[mutters in French]
853
00:47:47,898 --> 00:47:51,167
[Nicky] Like Ponch said,
with no security cameras
in the room,
854
00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:54,003
Guy can make the switch.
855
00:47:54,005 --> 00:47:56,205
All right.
We got an hour to go.
856
00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:59,976
- Did you get the nylons?
- I did indeed.
857
00:47:59,978 --> 00:48:02,445
- One?
- Well, it says one pair.
858
00:48:02,447 --> 00:48:05,214
- One pair?
Like a pair of pants.
- Yeah.
859
00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:07,450
Well, I'm sorry,
Mr. Condescending,
860
00:48:07,452 --> 00:48:09,185
I don't buy a whole lot
of fuckin' pantyhose.
861
00:48:09,187 --> 00:48:11,020
- Fishnets?
- Yes.
862
00:48:11,022 --> 00:48:12,188
Put these over our heads
863
00:48:12,190 --> 00:48:13,322
we'll look like
a couple of waffles.
864
00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:15,358
[up-tempo music]
865
00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:42,652
This is just great.
866
00:48:42,654 --> 00:48:44,186
OK, let's go.
867
00:48:55,032 --> 00:48:56,432
[cell phone rings]
868
00:48:56,434 --> 00:48:59,135
- Yeah?
- Finished.
869
00:48:59,137 --> 00:49:01,637
All right,
Crunch, you're up.
870
00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:18,621
No. Something's not right.
871
00:49:21,491 --> 00:49:23,092
OK, here we go.
872
00:49:23,094 --> 00:49:24,593
What are you doing?
873
00:49:24,595 --> 00:49:26,429
This is usually how it works.
874
00:49:26,431 --> 00:49:28,965
Perps go on the move,
cops get moving.
875
00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:32,034
A little pro tip for you:
"perps", short for perpetrators.
876
00:49:32,036 --> 00:49:36,472
Just trust me for a second.
Don't switch the engine on.
877
00:49:42,279 --> 00:49:43,713
Seriously,
what are we doing?
878
00:49:43,715 --> 00:49:45,381
Why do I listen to you?
879
00:49:46,516 --> 00:49:48,484
[Sam] You're being distracted.
880
00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:52,021
Like at the Quebec airport.
881
00:49:56,493 --> 00:49:59,095
The border.
They're at the border.
882
00:50:09,539 --> 00:50:11,440
They stopped following us.
883
00:50:22,352 --> 00:50:25,621
Pick up. Come on, pick up.
884
00:50:29,459 --> 00:50:31,527
Two minutes away.
Come on!
885
00:50:32,496 --> 00:50:33,696
Whoo!
886
00:50:40,504 --> 00:50:42,338
[brakes screech]
887
00:50:51,481 --> 00:50:53,082
I'm clear.
888
00:50:55,585 --> 00:50:58,154
[� R&B music plays]
889
00:51:01,324 --> 00:51:03,559
� Stand up
890
00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:07,296
[Francie] I'm trying to,
I'm trying to. This is what I...
891
00:51:07,298 --> 00:51:11,100
Hey! Hey! Here we go.
Here we go.
892
00:51:11,102 --> 00:51:13,202
[all cheering, laughing]
893
00:51:14,304 --> 00:51:15,704
Whoo!
894
00:51:17,407 --> 00:51:19,642
[Francie] Atta boy, Crunch!
895
00:51:20,811 --> 00:51:22,178
[speaks French]
896
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,747
All right, just like
the old days.
897
00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:27,450
Yeah, the old days
were you threw me to the cops?
898
00:51:27,452 --> 00:51:29,752
Or the old days where a one-eyed
pirate steals my bike?
899
00:51:29,754 --> 00:51:33,522
[Paddy]Uh, uh, uh.
Now, now, gentlemen.
900
00:51:33,524 --> 00:51:35,558
Let us drink to James.
901
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,661
- To James!
- [all] To James!
902
00:51:40,530 --> 00:51:43,365
And to Nicky Boy.
One for the ages.
903
00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:45,167
[all cheering]
904
00:51:48,672 --> 00:51:51,841
- Now you take a bow, Guy.
- Moi?
905
00:51:51,843 --> 00:51:55,644
Four days to fake
a 500-year-old masterpiece.
906
00:51:55,646 --> 00:51:57,513
Oh, to have your talent, lad.
907
00:51:57,515 --> 00:52:00,649
It was an inspired effort.
I admit.
908
00:52:00,651 --> 00:52:02,785
But I am no Yves Chaudron.
909
00:52:02,787 --> 00:52:06,355
Who's that,
Yeeves Show-row?
910
00:52:06,357 --> 00:52:07,623
Stay, Crunch.
You'll like this.
911
00:52:07,625 --> 00:52:09,225
Nah, I've heard
this tale a time or two.
912
00:52:09,227 --> 00:52:11,293
- I gotta take a piss.
- Come on, Crunch.
913
00:52:11,295 --> 00:52:13,429
Wait. Who's Yves Shmo-boh?
914
00:52:13,431 --> 00:52:15,831
I shall tell you
of Yves Chaudron.
915
00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:18,901
For this is a story
of inspiration.
916
00:52:18,903 --> 00:52:21,604
He was everything
I aspire to be.
917
00:52:21,606 --> 00:52:24,673
A master, a legend.
918
00:52:24,675 --> 00:52:28,744
A man so gifted his work
would make angels cry.
919
00:52:28,746 --> 00:52:34,583
He was the one true talent
behind the greatest art theft
in history.
920
00:52:34,585 --> 00:52:38,320
The theft
of the Mona Lisa.
921
00:52:39,756 --> 00:52:42,625
The story begins
in Paris, 1911.
922
00:52:42,627 --> 00:52:45,161
Not with Chaudron,
but with an Italian,
923
00:52:45,163 --> 00:52:47,296
a poor carpenter named Perugia
924
00:52:47,298 --> 00:52:49,465
who, a few months
before the theft,
925
00:52:49,467 --> 00:52:51,367
works a contract at the Louvre.
926
00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:55,171
As with any menial job,
he learns many menial things.
927
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:56,906
Such as where the
entrances and exits are,
928
00:52:56,908 --> 00:52:59,675
the guards' names,
rotations and the like.
929
00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:03,746
Little did he know
that this otherwise
useless information
930
00:53:03,748 --> 00:53:06,282
would prove to be
quite important.
931
00:53:06,284 --> 00:53:09,552
For it is when
Perugia's contract ends
932
00:53:09,554 --> 00:53:12,488
that his destiny begins.
933
00:53:12,490 --> 00:53:16,258
Fate taps Perugia
on the shoulder.
934
00:53:16,260 --> 00:53:20,529
Eduardo de Valfierno,
a criminal mastermind.
935
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:24,833
Valfierno asks Perugia
to steal the Mona Lisa
936
00:53:24,835 --> 00:53:29,371
for $30,000.
It's like a million back then,
937
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:33,442
an offer a poor carpenter
could never refuse.
938
00:53:33,444 --> 00:53:36,345
The adventure of the theft
is a story in and of itself.
939
00:53:36,347 --> 00:53:39,682
In short, through luck,
cunning, lazy security
940
00:53:39,684 --> 00:53:41,884
and the horrible disadvantage
of being Italian,
941
00:53:41,886 --> 00:53:43,452
he actually succeeds.
942
00:53:43,454 --> 00:53:45,888
The carpenter
steals the Mona Lisa
943
00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:48,958
and the theft makes world news.
944
00:53:52,729 --> 00:53:55,264
As promised,
he produces the Mona Lisa.
945
00:53:55,266 --> 00:53:56,799
Valfierno produces the money.
946
00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:58,834
But he makes a strange request.
947
00:53:58,836 --> 00:54:01,403
He asks him to hold on to her
just a little longer
948
00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:04,306
so he can arrange for
her transit overseas.
949
00:54:04,308 --> 00:54:07,309
Perugia agrees and waits,
950
00:54:07,311 --> 00:54:09,912
and waits and waits.
951
00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:12,481
His story ends here.
952
00:54:12,483 --> 00:54:15,618
And it is now that I tell you
of Yves Chaudron.
953
00:54:15,620 --> 00:54:17,753
Six months before the theft,
954
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:20,289
Valfierno commissions
Yves Chaudron,
955
00:54:20,291 --> 00:54:21,757
the world's greatest forger,
956
00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:25,027
to reproduce the Mona Lisa
six times and perfect,
957
00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:28,330
an Herculean task only
Chaudron could accomplish.
958
00:54:28,332 --> 00:54:30,299
Valfierno then sails to America
959
00:54:30,301 --> 00:54:32,701
and finds six of the greediest
art collectors
960
00:54:32,703 --> 00:54:34,937
and poses this question
to them:
961
00:54:34,939 --> 00:54:37,873
"Should the Mona Lisa
suddenly become available,
962
00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:40,676
would you pay three hundred
thousand dollars for it?"
963
00:54:40,678 --> 00:54:44,947
He asks all six,
and all six say, "Yes."
964
00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:49,285
And that is when Valfierno
pays Perugia to steal the
Mona Lisa.
965
00:54:49,287 --> 00:54:51,754
He then ships
Chaudron's perfect fakes
966
00:54:51,756 --> 00:54:55,324
and collects $1.8 million.
967
00:54:55,326 --> 00:54:58,394
A fortune beyond
comprehension.
968
00:55:00,830 --> 00:55:05,367
You see, all he needed
was the news of the theft,
969
00:55:05,369 --> 00:55:08,671
not the Mona Lisa.
970
00:55:08,673 --> 00:55:14,810
To him, she herself,
is worthless.
971
00:55:16,646 --> 00:55:20,849
And that is the story of
the theft of the Mona Lisa.
972
00:55:20,851 --> 00:55:23,385
[laughing]
973
00:55:23,387 --> 00:55:26,388
I first heard that story
when I was a small boy.
974
00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:31,560
I knew even then I wanted to
have the skills to pull
something that great off.
975
00:55:31,562 --> 00:55:32,861
And that's why
I do what I do.
976
00:55:32,863 --> 00:55:34,897
I do it for the ladies.
977
00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:37,032
[all laughing]
978
00:55:38,902 --> 00:55:41,603
[Nicky] Well,
here's to tomorrow,
979
00:55:41,605 --> 00:55:44,673
and the Reverend gets his goods
and we get our just rewards.
980
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:47,943
- [Nicky and Lola] Tomorrow!
- [all] Tomorrow!
981
00:56:02,092 --> 00:56:04,960
Ohhh, fuck.
982
00:56:04,962 --> 00:56:07,963
Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
983
00:56:07,965 --> 00:56:12,634
I, I taste an ashtray
and battery acid
984
00:56:12,636 --> 00:56:15,504
and, like, stripper perfume.
985
00:56:15,506 --> 00:56:17,473
So, we headed for Detroit?
986
00:56:17,475 --> 00:56:19,708
Finish things up with
the Reverend, or what?
987
00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:22,144
Yeah, that's right.
We all just pile into the car
988
00:56:22,146 --> 00:56:25,748
like the Brady Bunch
and just breeze on
into the States, right?
989
00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:27,549
They already flagged me
for coming over here.
990
00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:29,385
- Yeah, me too.
- Me too.
991
00:56:29,387 --> 00:56:30,886
They don't like
me a lot either, so...
992
00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:33,021
...what exactly is your plan?
993
00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:37,459
Well, we need someone with a
clean sheet. Francie, you're up.
994
00:56:37,461 --> 00:56:38,794
Me?!
995
00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:48,570
Really? Why am I
wearing this shit?
996
00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:50,072
Because Interpol
knows what you look like.
997
00:56:50,074 --> 00:56:53,509
OK, but don't the Amish ride
horse and carriages?
998
00:56:53,511 --> 00:56:57,045
- Well, you're progressive.
- I can't fucking do this!
999
00:56:57,047 --> 00:57:00,516
Well, you better
get your best Brando on,
hoss, 'cause we need you.
1000
00:57:00,518 --> 00:57:03,452
Yeah, look, Francie,
it's not The King's Speech.
1001
00:57:03,454 --> 00:57:06,422
Come here.
You got two lines:
1002
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:09,158
"Going to Detroit."
And "Nothing to declare."
1003
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:11,593
You're gonna be great.
1004
00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:14,763
- I'll meet him there.
- Oh. Will you?
1005
00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:16,498
Yeah.
1006
00:57:16,500 --> 00:57:18,100
Hey, look, somebody's got
to be in Detroit
1007
00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:19,701
to close the deal
with the Reverend.
1008
00:57:19,703 --> 00:57:21,837
Nicky, I'm goin' with ya.
1009
00:57:21,839 --> 00:57:23,939
- We're both hiding
in the trunk.
- [Paddy] The trunk?
1010
00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:26,442
[scoffs] I'm not
hidin' in a trunk.
1011
00:57:26,444 --> 00:57:29,178
Well, then no one's
going to Detroit.
1012
00:57:29,180 --> 00:57:31,780
'Cause if you're alone when you
get your digits on that money,
1013
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:33,449
we'll never
see you again.
1014
00:57:33,451 --> 00:57:38,020
All right, man. Fine.
1015
00:57:38,022 --> 00:57:40,556
Pop it, Francie.
1016
00:57:40,558 --> 00:57:43,459
- What are you doing?
- Yeah, what are you doing?
1017
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:44,927
Hopefully, you
won't have to know.
1018
00:57:44,929 --> 00:57:48,230
Yes, sir. But if you
just give me...
1019
00:57:48,232 --> 00:57:51,467
Sir, we are so very
close on this. We just...
1020
00:57:51,469 --> 00:57:53,168
[man on phone yelling]
1021
00:57:53,170 --> 00:57:55,671
No, I realize I'm not supposed
to be in the field,
1022
00:57:55,673 --> 00:57:56,939
but that's not the...
1023
00:57:56,941 --> 00:58:00,108
OK. Yeah.
1024
00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:03,479
Are we clear?
Are we clear? Goodbye.
1025
00:58:06,015 --> 00:58:10,486
OK. We need to just
start at the beginning here, OK?
1026
00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:13,555
Square one...
1027
00:58:17,026 --> 00:58:18,727
...art.
1028
00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:22,498
- They pay you for this?
- Shut up!
1029
00:58:22,500 --> 00:58:27,202
Do you often feel that your life
is just passing you by?
1030
00:58:27,204 --> 00:58:32,074
I cannot even be
in the same room as you!
1031
00:58:40,817 --> 00:58:43,852
OK. OK, Francie.
1032
00:58:47,023 --> 00:58:49,224
I got an idea.
1033
00:58:49,226 --> 00:58:53,028
I think we can make a lot more
money off that Gospel.
1034
00:58:53,030 --> 00:58:54,963
Hold out for
more from the Reverend?
1035
00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:57,032
No, we don't
even deliver it to him.
1036
00:58:57,034 --> 00:59:00,035
OK. I fail to see
how that makes us rich.
1037
00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:02,804
Guy telling that
story about the Mona Lisa
1038
00:59:02,806 --> 00:59:04,640
got me thinking.
1039
00:59:04,642 --> 00:59:06,875
There's a real parallel here.
1040
00:59:08,244 --> 00:59:10,879
Great. Parallel.
Not interested.
1041
00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,881
Listen, don't dismiss the idea
out of spite.
1042
00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:14,016
Not interested.
1043
00:59:14,018 --> 00:59:15,984
Hear me out!
1044
00:59:15,986 --> 00:59:21,089
Uncle Paddy can come up
with at least ten more buyers.
1045
00:59:21,091 --> 00:59:24,293
And we can get Guy to duplicate
a book for each one of them.
1046
00:59:24,295 --> 00:59:28,564
We contact the gallery, we let
them know their book is stolen.
1047
00:59:28,566 --> 00:59:30,832
The news hits the paper
and boom.
1048
00:59:30,834 --> 00:59:33,902
Meanwhile we ship off
ten copies to ten buyers.
1049
00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:35,671
Each one thinks
they have the original.
1050
00:59:35,673 --> 00:59:37,940
Goddamn it if it's not perfect.
1051
00:59:37,942 --> 00:59:40,309
[sighs]
1052
00:59:42,245 --> 00:59:44,279
You know...
1053
00:59:44,281 --> 00:59:48,183
I think we could make
half a mil. per book.
1054
00:59:48,185 --> 00:59:51,219
No, you know, twice that.
1055
00:59:53,957 --> 00:59:56,024
- You know how much that is?
- Ten million.
1056
00:59:56,026 --> 00:59:57,960
That's right.
1057
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:05,801
[Francie] Uh, all right, boys.
1058
01:00:05,803 --> 01:00:09,171
We're here so just be quiet, OK?
1059
01:00:09,173 --> 01:00:11,907
- Just be cool!
- Two lines!
1060
01:00:11,909 --> 01:00:14,710
"Going to Detroit!
Nothing to declare!"
1061
01:00:14,712 --> 01:00:15,844
OK, I know!
1062
01:00:15,846 --> 01:00:17,713
Act normal. Be normal.
Act normal.
1063
01:00:17,715 --> 01:00:20,115
Just be a cool guy.
You're a cool guy, Francie.
1064
01:00:20,117 --> 01:00:23,719
You're a fuckin' cool guy.
I am not cut out for this.
1065
01:00:26,789 --> 01:00:28,991
- Citizenship...
- My name is Francie Tobin!
1066
01:00:28,993 --> 01:00:31,927
- [both groan]
- Well, that's great, son.
1067
01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:33,762
- Where you headed?
- Canada!
1068
01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:35,330
Uh, you're heading in the wrong
direction...
1069
01:00:35,332 --> 01:00:37,265
Arrgghh!
1070
01:00:37,267 --> 01:00:39,067
Canada's, that's where
I came from.
1071
01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:41,303
Where I'm... Detroit
is where I'm heading,
1072
01:00:41,305 --> 01:00:45,073
not, not Canada,
which is where I'm from.
1073
01:00:45,075 --> 01:00:46,908
Anything to declare?
1074
01:00:46,910 --> 01:00:50,145
No. Not...
not even a little bit.
1075
01:00:50,147 --> 01:00:52,848
Uh, your beard's falling off.
1076
01:00:52,850 --> 01:00:58,020
Oh. That's, that's 'cause
I'm, I'm in a play.
1077
01:00:58,022 --> 01:00:59,655
[man] What's the play called?
1078
01:00:59,657 --> 01:01:01,690
[Francie] Witness, The Musical.
1079
01:01:01,692 --> 01:01:03,358
Witness, exclamation mark.
1080
01:01:04,961 --> 01:01:06,795
Are you sure there's nothing
you want to declare?
1081
01:01:06,797 --> 01:01:08,764
The play is terrible.
1082
01:01:10,867 --> 01:01:13,368
- Anything in the trunk?
- No!
1083
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:17,005
Are you absolutely positive
1084
01:01:17,007 --> 01:01:18,306
you have nothing
to declare?
1085
01:01:21,778 --> 01:01:23,178
I'm sorry?
1086
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:25,380
Do you think I have
smugglers in my trunk?
1087
01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:28,150
- [both] No!
- I have two American thieves
1088
01:01:28,152 --> 01:01:31,853
in the trunk of this car
that I'm crossing your border
with right now.
1089
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,822
Please! Please, have a look.
1090
01:01:33,824 --> 01:01:38,193
See, see all the
criminal activity happening
in my trunk right now!
1091
01:01:38,195 --> 01:01:40,162
Open the trunk, sir.
1092
01:01:40,164 --> 01:01:42,330
- Open the...
- Open the trunk, just
open the trunk.
1093
01:01:42,332 --> 01:01:44,866
- So I'll just... Oh!
- Nicky, Nicky, Nicky!
1094
01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:46,768
Yep. Got 'em. Got 'em.
1095
01:01:46,770 --> 01:01:48,937
- On the count of three.
- Drugs, son?
1096
01:01:48,939 --> 01:01:50,072
Oh, no. I'm good, buddy.
1097
01:01:50,074 --> 01:01:51,807
No, I mean, are you on...
1098
01:01:51,809 --> 01:01:52,941
Just open the trunk, please.
1099
01:01:52,943 --> 01:01:54,843
- Yeah, OK.
- One.
1100
01:01:54,845 --> 01:01:56,978
Two. Three.
1101
01:01:56,980 --> 01:02:00,716
OK, here we go!
1102
01:02:03,119 --> 01:02:06,321
Alrighty, looks like
you're good to go.
1103
01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:10,225
Uhh! I just need
to tell you something.
1104
01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:14,496
I liked Predator Two.
1105
01:02:14,498 --> 01:02:17,065
Well, yeah, I didn't mind
Predator Two.
1106
01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:19,201
- It's not bad.
- Its OK. Danny Glover.
1107
01:02:19,203 --> 01:02:21,236
- You can't go wrong.
- No.
1108
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:23,371
- Break a leg.
- Oh, yeah! Thank you.
1109
01:02:23,373 --> 01:02:25,273
- Because I'm an actor.
- Yeah.
1110
01:02:25,275 --> 01:02:27,809
Oh, fuck, this sucks!
1111
01:02:27,811 --> 01:02:29,845
[rock music]
1112
01:02:44,193 --> 01:02:47,963
� I wandered in
late one night �
1113
01:02:49,532 --> 01:02:54,269
� Signs all said "open"
But there was no one in sight �
1114
01:02:57,173 --> 01:02:59,307
- I'm gonna fuckin' kill him.
- Wait your turn.
1115
01:03:00,309 --> 01:03:01,510
Come on!
1116
01:03:01,512 --> 01:03:03,178
I'm never doing this shit again!
1117
01:03:03,180 --> 01:03:05,280
- You motherfucker!
- No, no! Hold on!
1118
01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:06,948
What the fuck is this!
Come on!
1119
01:03:06,950 --> 01:03:10,051
- Fuck you!
- Hold on! Hey!
1120
01:03:10,053 --> 01:03:11,453
Fuck the both of you!
1121
01:03:11,455 --> 01:03:12,921
- You fucked up, man.
- I fucked up!
1122
01:03:12,923 --> 01:03:14,256
All right,
all right, all right!
1123
01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:16,391
I promise you,
I'm not gonna hit the kid.
1124
01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:18,994
- All right. [grunts]
- You fucker!
1125
01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:21,163
- What did you do that for?
- Fuck you! Oh!
1126
01:03:21,165 --> 01:03:24,099
[Crunch] You had to do it.
You proud of yourself?
1127
01:03:24,101 --> 01:03:26,935
- You motherfucker!
Ah, you motherfucker.
- Please!
1128
01:03:26,937 --> 01:03:29,571
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, man. How's business?
1129
01:03:30,973 --> 01:03:34,209
It's fucking slow, man.
1130
01:03:42,218 --> 01:03:43,952
[Nicky] All right,
what is this place?
1131
01:03:43,954 --> 01:03:45,420
[Crunch] His office
is on the third floor.
1132
01:03:45,422 --> 01:03:47,989
I think he paid like
three grand for the whole place.
1133
01:03:47,991 --> 01:03:50,525
He overpaid.
1134
01:03:51,928 --> 01:03:53,195
[Nicky] This is a golden
opportunity.
1135
01:03:53,197 --> 01:03:55,564
I'm not doing this for me.
1136
01:03:55,566 --> 01:03:58,867
You know I'm flush.
I'm doing this for you.
1137
01:03:58,869 --> 01:04:01,369
We're dropping this off,
we're making a hell of
a decent score here.
1138
01:04:01,371 --> 01:04:02,871
And in five minutes
we're going home.
1139
01:04:02,873 --> 01:04:04,606
Give me a reason.
Give me one reason.
1140
01:04:04,608 --> 01:04:08,410
OK. Where do we find the money
to pay for these fakes?
1141
01:04:08,412 --> 01:04:11,046
It cost Guy ten grand
to fake one.
1142
01:04:11,048 --> 01:04:13,315
These fakes would have to
stand up to carbon dating
1143
01:04:13,317 --> 01:04:15,016
and expert scrutiny shit.
1144
01:04:15,018 --> 01:04:16,918
Ten grand a book,
that's a hundred grand.
1145
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:18,987
- I can front it.
- You got a 100 grand
laying around, Nicky?
1146
01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:21,156
Yes, I do.
1147
01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:26,928
You know,
I guess this is it.
1148
01:04:26,930 --> 01:04:28,864
This could have been big.
1149
01:04:28,866 --> 01:04:32,000
We could have made history.
1150
01:04:42,578 --> 01:04:44,112
Damn it.
1151
01:04:46,182 --> 01:04:49,417
All right, let's go downstairs
and talk about it.
1152
01:04:55,057 --> 01:04:58,293
A million per book.
Ten million bucks, guys.
1153
01:04:58,295 --> 01:05:01,396
- You interested?
- Of course,
I'm fucking interested.
1154
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:03,965
- Wonderful.
- Uncle Paddy?
1155
01:05:03,967 --> 01:05:05,600
Ten buyers, I can find.
Maybe more.
1156
01:05:05,602 --> 01:05:07,402
No, no, no.
Let's stick with ten.
1157
01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:09,204
Let's not get greedy here.
1158
01:05:09,206 --> 01:05:12,140
- Guy, when can you get started?
- Today. Now.
1159
01:05:12,142 --> 01:05:15,176
It will take me maybe
three weeks... No, one month.
1160
01:05:15,178 --> 01:05:17,946
- I just need money.
- OK, 100 grand, that's covered.
1161
01:05:17,948 --> 01:05:20,015
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
1162
01:05:20,017 --> 01:05:22,384
Seven hundred,
fifty thousand, minimum.
1163
01:05:22,386 --> 01:05:24,319
You just made
one for ten thousand.
1164
01:05:24,321 --> 01:05:28,223
No. I made the cover for ten
grand. The pages are total shit.
1165
01:05:28,225 --> 01:05:32,294
And if you want these to pass
the carbon dating and the
professional scrutiny,
1166
01:05:32,296 --> 01:05:33,995
seven hundred fifty.
1167
01:05:33,997 --> 01:05:35,497
Do we need
to carbon date them?
1168
01:05:35,499 --> 01:05:38,033
With our buyers,
most certainly.
1169
01:05:38,035 --> 01:05:41,269
That's it, man.
Let's go take it back.
1170
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:43,471
All right, look.
1171
01:05:43,473 --> 01:05:47,075
I could come up with
about $300,000.
1172
01:05:47,077 --> 01:05:48,176
- But...
- What?
1173
01:05:48,178 --> 01:05:49,945
Gonna take me a couple days.
1174
01:05:49,947 --> 01:05:51,479
We still need 450.
1175
01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:54,316
I can pull together
a hundred thousand.
1176
01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:56,151
I can do one hundred.
1177
01:05:56,153 --> 01:06:00,188
OK. That's five.
We're still 250 short.
1178
01:06:00,190 --> 01:06:02,424
Yeah.
1179
01:06:04,226 --> 01:06:06,294
OK, we'll be home at dawn.
1180
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:08,029
Let's figure this out tomorrow.
1181
01:06:08,031 --> 01:06:09,497
OK.
1182
01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:13,435
- Crunch.
- What?
1183
01:06:13,437 --> 01:06:16,404
- How much money have you got?
- I got nothin'.
1184
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:22,277
If there was ever a reason
to mortgage your home...
1185
01:06:22,279 --> 01:06:23,745
Oh, no, no, no, no, man.
I'm not doing that.
1186
01:06:23,747 --> 01:06:26,014
No, not the house.
That's all I got.
1187
01:06:26,016 --> 01:06:28,616
If we pull this off,
you can buy ten of 'em.
1188
01:06:28,618 --> 01:06:31,186
Look, man, I just...
1189
01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:32,420
Look, I don't know, OK?
1190
01:06:32,422 --> 01:06:33,555
Listen, I gotta think about it.
1191
01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:35,223
I wanna run it by Lola.
1192
01:06:35,225 --> 01:06:37,392
Well, don't take too long.
We don't have time to lose.
1193
01:06:37,394 --> 01:06:41,096
Don't talk to me
about lost time, Nicky.
1194
01:06:53,442 --> 01:06:55,410
I know what you want.
1195
01:06:55,412 --> 01:07:00,148
Good. 'Cause you're
gonna need to talk to him.
1196
01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:02,684
He will never give
you all that money.
1197
01:07:02,686 --> 01:07:04,252
No, but he'll
give it to you.
1198
01:07:04,254 --> 01:07:06,521
- To me?
- He trusts you.
1199
01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:09,424
And we're gonna be wiring money
all over the world.
1200
01:07:10,659 --> 01:07:12,694
You're the only one that's not
on any watch list.
1201
01:07:12,696 --> 01:07:15,730
- Francie isn't.
- Francie hasn't taken a bath
in six weeks.
1202
01:07:15,732 --> 01:07:17,665
[both chuckle]
1203
01:07:17,667 --> 01:07:19,667
Come on.
1204
01:07:21,303 --> 01:07:23,038
Can you convince him?
1205
01:07:27,076 --> 01:07:29,310
It's no good. It's no good.
She's making you, Crunch.
1206
01:07:29,312 --> 01:07:31,079
She's probably
fucking Nicky.
1207
01:07:31,081 --> 01:07:33,815
Hey, easy. Easy,
Francie, come on.
1208
01:07:33,817 --> 01:07:36,584
We should just walk.
I mean, he's juicing you
1209
01:07:36,586 --> 01:07:39,621
for hundreds of thousands
of dollars, Crunch.
1210
01:07:39,623 --> 01:07:44,092
Cowards die many times
before their actual death.
1211
01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:46,828
The brave,
only but once.
1212
01:07:46,830 --> 01:07:48,696
Is that Julius Caesar?
1213
01:07:48,698 --> 01:07:53,802
Yes! Look, I know how you feel
about Nicky, believe me.
1214
01:07:54,603 --> 01:07:56,604
But this...
1215
01:07:58,574 --> 01:08:02,177
...this is the one we're
all gonna be remembered for.
1216
01:08:02,179 --> 01:08:04,813
Ah, Jesus Murphy.
1217
01:08:31,474 --> 01:08:33,108
Ah, you waste no time.
1218
01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:35,110
What can I say?
I'm excited. [laughs]
1219
01:08:35,112 --> 01:08:37,245
OK. Great, we're all here.
1220
01:08:37,247 --> 01:08:40,348
So, starting tomorrow,
there'll be no contact.
1221
01:08:40,350 --> 01:08:43,384
During that time period
Paddy will have made the sales,
1222
01:08:43,386 --> 01:08:45,353
Guy will have completed
the books.
1223
01:08:45,355 --> 01:08:46,888
Crunch will be ready
to ship them.
1224
01:08:46,890 --> 01:08:49,824
And Lola will be
handling the money.
1225
01:08:49,826 --> 01:08:52,660
In a month's time,
we'll contact Amsterdam,
1226
01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:56,764
the news will get out, we ship
the books and we get rich.
1227
01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:59,200
Ha. The Reverend's
gonna be some pissed.
1228
01:08:59,202 --> 01:09:00,335
I'll take care of the Reverend.
1229
01:09:00,337 --> 01:09:01,603
I'll call you
with his number.
1230
01:09:01,605 --> 01:09:04,372
All right, Nicky, I just
gotta say this.
1231
01:09:04,374 --> 01:09:07,375
If you're gettin' ready to
do me wrong here somehow,
1232
01:09:07,377 --> 01:09:10,145
this is your chance.
Just don't take this
and all is forgiven, man.
1233
01:09:10,147 --> 01:09:11,679
No harm, no foul.
1234
01:09:12,882 --> 01:09:17,218
Crunch, I'm sorry
about what happened.
1235
01:09:17,220 --> 01:09:19,554
OK, I fucked up.
1236
01:09:19,556 --> 01:09:21,789
I wish I could do it
all over again.
1237
01:09:21,791 --> 01:09:25,160
But I can't.
We gotta move on.
1238
01:09:26,562 --> 01:09:31,199
Look, you've always wanted to do
something big, we all have.
1239
01:09:31,201 --> 01:09:32,800
This is our chance.
1240
01:09:32,802 --> 01:09:38,773
Come on, man, let's do
this together, like brothers.
1241
01:09:45,347 --> 01:09:46,381
OK, man, I'm in.
1242
01:09:46,383 --> 01:09:47,715
[laughs]
1243
01:09:47,717 --> 01:09:50,552
All right.
Here's to us, huh?
1244
01:09:50,554 --> 01:09:52,487
Right!
1245
01:09:52,489 --> 01:09:54,289
[all laughing]
1246
01:09:54,291 --> 01:09:56,658
Gettin' our just rewards.
1247
01:09:58,861 --> 01:10:00,762
[laughing distorts, fades]
1248
01:10:11,440 --> 01:10:14,442
Truly breathtaking, it is.
1249
01:10:14,444 --> 01:10:17,946
Oh, bloody hell. Hey, Midge.
How you fixed for quarters?
1250
01:10:17,948 --> 01:10:20,315
- [Nicky] Dirty Ernie.
- Hey, Nicky!
1251
01:10:20,317 --> 01:10:23,585
- Give us a hug!
- I'm not a big hugger, Ernie.
1252
01:10:23,587 --> 01:10:28,223
Huh. Midge, go take a walk.
1253
01:10:28,225 --> 01:10:30,225
I'll see you at the hotel.
1254
01:10:32,861 --> 01:10:34,429
Now watch it, Ernie.
1255
01:10:34,431 --> 01:10:36,231
The hookers in this town
aren't the cleanest.
1256
01:10:36,233 --> 01:10:38,700
Hey! That's my wife.
1257
01:10:38,702 --> 01:10:41,236
Oh. Ernie, I'm sorry.
1258
01:10:41,238 --> 01:10:45,406
Yeah, it's just, I guess
the fashion in Europe is
so much further ahead...
1259
01:10:45,408 --> 01:10:50,411
I'm pulling your chain,
mate. That's a hooker.
1260
01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:55,383
So, what's the plan?
1261
01:10:57,820 --> 01:11:02,657
OK. You're gonna knock off ten
copies of the Gospel According
to James.
1262
01:11:02,659 --> 01:11:04,926
- All right.
- Simultaneously,
1263
01:11:04,928 --> 01:11:07,729
Guy De Cornet will be in that
building doing the same.
1264
01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:09,297
No. He sickens me, he does.
1265
01:11:09,299 --> 01:11:10,965
His work is so ostentatious...
1266
01:11:10,967 --> 01:11:14,269
Oh, forget him.
Just focus on your own work.
1267
01:11:14,271 --> 01:11:15,770
Here's a key to the building.
1268
01:11:15,772 --> 01:11:18,573
All right.
1269
01:11:18,575 --> 01:11:20,575
- Guy's books will be perfect.
- [groan]
1270
01:11:20,577 --> 01:11:23,344
They'll pass carbon dating,
expert analysis, everything.
1271
01:11:23,346 --> 01:11:27,882
However, your copies,
they won't need any of that
carbon dating crap.
1272
01:11:27,884 --> 01:11:30,018
They'll just need to
look convincing.
1273
01:11:30,020 --> 01:11:31,786
Oh, that's much, much cheaper.
1274
01:11:31,788 --> 01:11:33,621
But tell me this, why?
1275
01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:36,491
Why bother getting all that
proper paper for Guy's books?
1276
01:11:36,493 --> 01:11:39,060
Why... why bother
working that lot at all?
1277
01:11:39,062 --> 01:11:41,963
Because I plan on sending
your ten copies of the book
1278
01:11:41,965 --> 01:11:44,599
to the buyers before
they can send theirs.
1279
01:11:44,601 --> 01:11:48,936
This way, you and I can split it
two ways instead of me having to
cut it up five ways with them.
1280
01:11:48,938 --> 01:11:51,506
I see. Family's family,
but money's money, eh?
1281
01:11:51,508 --> 01:11:55,476
Yeah, well, let me tell you
something about family.
1282
01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:58,980
Crunch would do
the same damn thing if he
had any brains in his head.
1283
01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:02,583
Yeah, but then he
delivers his books
1284
01:12:02,585 --> 01:12:05,320
a week after you've
delivered yours,
1285
01:12:05,322 --> 01:12:09,424
they're gonna crucify him,
and that greasy twat, Guy.
1286
01:12:09,426 --> 01:12:12,360
But then they're gonna come
after you, my fine chum.
1287
01:12:12,362 --> 01:12:13,661
[cell phone rings]
1288
01:12:13,663 --> 01:12:16,564
I won't be around.
1289
01:12:17,466 --> 01:12:18,933
Yeah?
1290
01:12:18,935 --> 01:12:22,003
Nicky, you still want
the Reverend's number?
1291
01:12:22,005 --> 01:12:25,873
- Text it to me, Paddy.
- Consider it done.
1292
01:12:27,576 --> 01:12:29,944
[deep sigh]
1293
01:12:29,946 --> 01:12:31,913
[cell phone rings]
1294
01:12:31,915 --> 01:12:35,717
- Reverend: Yeah, what?
- Yeah. Hi, Reverend.
It's Nicky Calhoun.
1295
01:12:37,553 --> 01:12:40,621
What? Nicky Calhoun?
1296
01:12:40,623 --> 01:12:42,890
What are you doin'
callin' me?
1297
01:12:42,892 --> 01:12:45,960
Listen, I just
wanted to let you know
that we've got your book
1298
01:12:45,962 --> 01:12:49,731
and just wanted to give you
a heads up, there's a slight
delay.
1299
01:12:49,733 --> 01:12:51,632
- Delay?
- Right. With the delivery time.
1300
01:12:51,634 --> 01:12:53,668
It might take a month or so.
1301
01:12:53,670 --> 01:12:59,474
Look, I don't know what the
fuck you're talking about.
Don't call me again.
1302
01:13:01,009 --> 01:13:02,543
Listen, I'm gonna come see you
1303
01:13:02,545 --> 01:13:04,846
and we can discuss it then.
How's that?
1304
01:13:04,848 --> 01:13:06,447
[dial tone]
1305
01:13:06,449 --> 01:13:10,084
Reverend? Reverend?
1306
01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,556
[Reverend's voicemail]
Not here. Leave a message.
1307
01:13:15,558 --> 01:13:16,958
[Nicky] Reverend, again,
I apologize about the delay.
1308
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:18,526
I'm on my way to Detroit
1309
01:13:18,528 --> 01:13:20,428
so you and I can have
a face-to-face.
1310
01:13:29,671 --> 01:13:30,938
[knocking]
1311
01:13:34,009 --> 01:13:36,677
Reverend?
1312
01:14:04,072 --> 01:14:06,607
[Crash] I think he paid,
like, three grand
for the whole place.
1313
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:09,477
[Paddy] Why is it I've not
heard that such as famous book
as yours was nicked?
1314
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:12,113
[past conversations
overlapping]
1315
01:14:12,115 --> 01:14:15,950
- Paddy, come on.
- Just listen to the story,
before you say no, lads.
1316
01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:17,685
There's a good moral
to this story.
1317
01:14:17,687 --> 01:14:19,520
[Paddy's voicemail]
Paddy McCarthy here.
1318
01:14:19,522 --> 01:14:21,222
- Leave me a message
and I'll call you back.
- Fuck!
1319
01:14:21,224 --> 01:14:24,125
[Paddy] The special Gospel.
1320
01:14:24,127 --> 01:14:25,726
[Reverend] Last month,
at the Vanderloos Gallery...
1321
01:14:25,728 --> 01:14:28,596
[speaking Dutch]
1322
01:14:28,598 --> 01:14:29,997
I'd like to report a theft.
1323
01:14:29,999 --> 01:14:31,699
I don't understand.
1324
01:14:31,701 --> 01:14:33,034
We're not the police.
1325
01:14:33,036 --> 01:14:35,136
No, no, no.
It's a book in your collection.
1326
01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:37,638
A Gospel printed by
the Gutenberg Press.
1327
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,640
Yeah. I think you are mistaken.
1328
01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:42,176
No, no, no. It's the
Gospel According to James
and it's a fake.
1329
01:14:42,178 --> 01:14:44,745
- Check it out.
- I can't do that.
1330
01:14:44,747 --> 01:14:47,048
- Why not?
- We are sculpture museum.
1331
01:14:47,050 --> 01:14:52,153
We have no books or paintings.
We have only sculpture.
1332
01:14:52,155 --> 01:14:54,956
[Nicky] The Reverend's
got somebody on the inside.
1333
01:14:54,958 --> 01:14:58,259
- [Reverend] We have an expert
coming in on Saturday.
- [Nicky] Paddy, get us a name.
1334
01:14:58,261 --> 01:15:00,962
[operator] We're sorry.
The number you have reached
is not in service.
1335
01:15:00,964 --> 01:15:03,664
- Later, Crunch!
- [Crunch] There's gotta be
like, what...
1336
01:15:03,666 --> 01:15:06,100
- Fuck!
- ...ten experts in the country
they could have called.
1337
01:15:06,102 --> 01:15:08,503
- [Ponch] Olga Something-Long.
- Hello?
1338
01:15:08,505 --> 01:15:09,604
It's Nicky Calhoun.
1339
01:15:09,606 --> 01:15:11,939
Have you... Have you seen Paddy?
1340
01:15:11,941 --> 01:15:14,075
- What?
- Did you fuckin' see Paddy?
1341
01:15:14,077 --> 01:15:16,644
He left a couple of days ago.
1342
01:15:16,646 --> 01:15:20,014
What about the Gospel?
Did Customs ask you
to look at the Gospel?
1343
01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:22,817
- Gospel?
- The fuckin' Gospel
According to James!
1344
01:15:22,819 --> 01:15:25,219
Did they ask you
to look at it?
1345
01:15:26,722 --> 01:15:28,122
What?
1346
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:34,028
[panting]
1347
01:15:41,770 --> 01:15:45,106
And that is the story of
the theft of the Mona Lisa.
1348
01:15:45,108 --> 01:15:50,278
You just took five
and half of the best years
of my life away, Nicky.
1349
01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:52,146
- [grunting]
- [Paddy] Nicky Boy,
1350
01:15:52,148 --> 01:15:53,681
you'll pay the piper for
what you did to Dennis.
1351
01:15:53,683 --> 01:15:54,982
I'll see to it meself.
1352
01:15:54,984 --> 01:15:56,183
I'll take care of the Reverend.
1353
01:15:56,185 --> 01:15:57,818
[Paddy] I'll call you
with his number.
1354
01:15:57,820 --> 01:16:00,087
- [cell phone rings]
- Yeah?
1355
01:16:00,089 --> 01:16:03,190
Nicky, want
the Reverend's number?
1356
01:16:06,295 --> 01:16:08,863
[grunting, panting]
1357
01:16:13,168 --> 01:16:15,102
We could have made history.
1358
01:16:20,042 --> 01:16:20,041
[dialing cell phone]
1359
01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:25,580
[Lola's voicemail]
Please leave a message.
1360
01:16:25,582 --> 01:16:27,882
Lola, pick up the phone.
1361
01:16:27,884 --> 01:16:30,785
Call me! We got a problem!
1362
01:16:33,722 --> 01:16:36,757
[Francie] So, so what are you
telling me? You don't trust me.
1363
01:16:36,759 --> 01:16:39,760
It's not like I
don't trust you. Come on.
1364
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:42,663
- Everybody's fuckin'
lyin' to me.
- Nobody's lyin'.
1365
01:16:42,665 --> 01:16:46,200
It's like, uh, well,
I'll tell you what it's like,
it's like Claudius.
1366
01:16:46,202 --> 01:16:49,670
For my money, the greatest
Roman Emperor of them all.
1367
01:16:49,672 --> 01:16:55,076
You know how Claudius
survived some of the most
brutal rulers of his time?
1368
01:16:55,078 --> 01:16:58,346
How he outlived all those
crazy-assed homicidal
family members?
1369
01:16:58,348 --> 01:17:00,748
- How?
- Played the fool.
1370
01:17:02,084 --> 01:17:04,118
Played the fool
and fooled them all.
1371
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:06,754
Even those he loved.
1372
01:17:07,856 --> 01:17:09,190
[cell phone rings]
1373
01:17:09,192 --> 01:17:11,359
Bick.
1374
01:17:11,361 --> 01:17:14,729
Uh, OK.
1375
01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:18,966
Hello?
1376
01:17:19,835 --> 01:17:21,702
Four twenty-six?
1377
01:17:22,804 --> 01:17:24,205
OK.
1378
01:17:29,945 --> 01:17:32,847
How long have you
been cooking this thing up?
1379
01:17:32,849 --> 01:17:35,349
Well, you remember
Lola's little hot tub party?
1380
01:17:35,351 --> 01:17:37,752
And great men don't
miss their fate.
1381
01:17:37,754 --> 01:17:39,954
I missed mine, Francie.
1382
01:17:39,956 --> 01:17:44,859
I was probably staring at it the
whole time and I just missed it.
1383
01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:48,229
So everyone was in on this
except for my lanky ass.
1384
01:17:48,231 --> 01:17:51,265
People are predictable Francis,
you, me.
1385
01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:53,134
If we weren't,
we'd just spend all our time
1386
01:17:53,136 --> 01:17:55,803
trying to figure out what crazy
shit everybody else was up to.
1387
01:17:55,805 --> 01:17:59,273
All I did was
drop off a sculpture.
1388
01:17:59,275 --> 01:18:02,109
And then picked it on up.
1389
01:18:02,111 --> 01:18:05,312
I just needed to plant
the idea and let his
imagination do the rest.
1390
01:18:05,314 --> 01:18:08,182
[Nicky] Saturday, ten AM. Guy
walks into the border station.
1391
01:18:08,184 --> 01:18:11,218
- I got Guy on the other line.
- OK. I'm in.
1392
01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:16,057
[panting]
1393
01:18:30,372 --> 01:18:32,273
[exhales]
1394
01:18:32,974 --> 01:18:34,408
Yeah.
1395
01:18:40,882 --> 01:18:42,983
[door opens quickly]
1396
01:18:50,859 --> 01:18:55,162
- You got a warrant?
- I don't need a warrant.
I'm not a cop.
1397
01:18:55,164 --> 01:18:57,465
But these guys are.
1398
01:18:57,467 --> 01:18:59,900
Domenic Calhoun,
we've received information
1399
01:18:59,902 --> 01:19:03,270
giving us probable cause
for a search.
1400
01:19:03,272 --> 01:19:05,406
Look who we have here.
1401
01:19:06,341 --> 01:19:08,309
Georges Seurat.
1402
01:19:08,311 --> 01:19:12,813
"Model, Rear-View," 1887.
1403
01:19:12,815 --> 01:19:14,181
Pointillist phase.
1404
01:19:22,924 --> 01:19:25,126
This is so beautiful.
1405
01:19:27,095 --> 01:19:29,263
I love all the little dots.
1406
01:19:29,265 --> 01:19:31,799
It's very artistic.
1407
01:19:42,277 --> 01:19:44,812
- [Crunch] You got it?
- I do.
1408
01:19:46,148 --> 01:19:47,515
Where's your filly?
1409
01:19:47,517 --> 01:19:50,417
She'll be here, Paddy.
1410
01:19:50,419 --> 01:19:54,955
The lady has $750 grand
of our capital.
1411
01:19:56,291 --> 01:19:58,793
I don't know,
mon frere, she's maybe...
1412
01:19:58,795 --> 01:20:01,929
How do you say it?
The scheming bitch.
1413
01:20:01,931 --> 01:20:04,064
Hey, guys, she's doin'
something, all right?
1414
01:20:04,066 --> 01:20:07,067
Says she's got some kind
of surprise for me.
1415
01:20:07,069 --> 01:20:09,370
She's just runnin' late,
that's all.
1416
01:20:11,473 --> 01:20:12,940
We should just go.
We should leave.
1417
01:20:12,942 --> 01:20:16,010
Yeah, Crunch, bud,
I love you.
1418
01:20:16,012 --> 01:20:18,946
You know I'm with you.
1419
01:20:18,948 --> 01:20:22,049
I really think she
just fuckin' split.
1420
01:20:22,051 --> 01:20:25,553
Just as likely to see a police
cruiser as her car comin'
around the corner, lad.
1421
01:20:25,555 --> 01:20:27,588
[tires squealing]
1422
01:20:31,293 --> 01:20:34,428
- Oh, cool.
- What?
1423
01:20:34,430 --> 01:20:38,132
I, I saw you fight at the bar.
1424
01:20:38,134 --> 01:20:39,600
Did you?
1425
01:20:39,602 --> 01:20:42,603
Then he said you could
hold onto it as insurance.
1426
01:20:42,605 --> 01:20:45,039
Now I'm gonna
point at you really hard.
1427
01:20:45,041 --> 01:20:46,574
OK, fine. Then I'm
gonna raise up my arms...
1428
01:20:46,576 --> 01:20:47,975
[both arguing]
1429
01:20:47,977 --> 01:20:50,044
OK, fine.
1430
01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:56,050
So, you mean, you really went
through all this trouble
1431
01:20:56,052 --> 01:20:59,119
just to rob Nicky
of 300 grand?
1432
01:20:59,121 --> 01:21:02,423
Three hundred thousand?
Try 20 million.
1433
01:21:02,425 --> 01:21:05,292
This is where the story
becomes interesting.
1434
01:21:05,294 --> 01:21:07,361
Two weeks ago,
this painting was stolen
1435
01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:08,629
from an art
collector in Mexico.
1436
01:21:08,631 --> 01:21:10,965
Fate, Francie.
1437
01:21:10,967 --> 01:21:12,633
Fate is what just happened.
1438
01:21:12,635 --> 01:21:15,269
I need you to find
something for me.
1439
01:21:15,271 --> 01:21:17,504
Uncle Paddy could
come up with ten buyers easily.
1440
01:21:17,506 --> 01:21:19,874
Ten buyers I can find,
maybe more.
1441
01:21:19,876 --> 01:21:23,277
You see, all he needed was
the news of the theft.
1442
01:21:23,279 --> 01:21:26,213
Paddy McCarthy here.
I got a piece you might be
interested in.
1443
01:21:26,215 --> 01:21:28,415
And she's a real beauty.
1444
01:21:28,417 --> 01:21:29,884
Where's the Seurat?
1445
01:21:29,886 --> 01:21:31,552
Georges Seurat,
you ignorant fuck!
1446
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:33,954
The seminal French
"Post-Impressionalist".
1447
01:21:33,956 --> 01:21:35,456
The father of pointillism
1448
01:21:35,458 --> 01:21:38,058
- That Georges Seurat!
- This is all about the Seurat.
1449
01:21:38,060 --> 01:21:39,326
This has nothing to do
with Nicky's painting.
1450
01:21:39,328 --> 01:21:40,628
If this is even close to real,
1451
01:21:40,630 --> 01:21:42,496
Paddy's gonna make a bundle.
1452
01:21:42,498 --> 01:21:44,531
We still need
four hundred and fifty.
1453
01:21:44,533 --> 01:21:47,301
I can pull together
a hundred thousand.
1454
01:21:47,303 --> 01:21:49,904
I can do one hundred.
1455
01:21:53,275 --> 01:21:57,211
This is the one we're all
gonna be remembered for.
1456
01:21:57,213 --> 01:21:59,413
Ah.
1457
01:21:59,415 --> 01:22:04,285
[Paddy chuckles] Ten forgeries,
seven already shipped.
1458
01:22:04,287 --> 01:22:06,220
That's twenty million.
1459
01:22:06,222 --> 01:22:09,156
I really like
this heist shit.
1460
01:22:09,158 --> 01:22:11,091
Ah, careful!
That's the original.
1461
01:22:11,093 --> 01:22:13,060
Wait, you kept the real one?
1462
01:22:13,062 --> 01:22:15,596
The one... Interpol know the
one in Nicky's room is fake?
1463
01:22:15,598 --> 01:22:17,932
Interpol already thinks
they have the real one.
1464
01:22:17,934 --> 01:22:19,967
I just want to hold it.
1465
01:22:19,969 --> 01:22:22,369
How would you
like live with it, Sam?
1466
01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:28,976
I think I'd like
that very much.
1467
01:22:28,978 --> 01:22:30,444
The first time you see it,
1468
01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:34,114
you say it's real,
whether it is or not.
1469
01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:39,553
Absolutely, positively,
the real thing.
1470
01:22:39,555 --> 01:22:43,123
Boom! Oh ho!
Come on, boys in blue!
1471
01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:46,327
Suit guy! Whoo! Come on!
1472
01:22:46,329 --> 01:22:49,129
- One for the good guys!
- Indeed.
1473
01:22:49,131 --> 01:22:52,566
Well, everybody,
it's truly been a pleasure.
1474
01:22:52,568 --> 01:22:56,403
- You did it, Dennis.
- One for the ages, eh?
1475
01:22:56,405 --> 01:22:58,272
Either write something
worth reading about,
1476
01:22:58,274 --> 01:23:00,240
or do something
worth writing about.
1477
01:23:00,242 --> 01:23:03,310
Don't spend it all
in one place.
1478
01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:05,012
[speaks French]
1479
01:23:08,183 --> 01:23:09,550
[Sam] Seasoned crooks swear
1480
01:23:09,552 --> 01:23:11,452
there's only two days
you remember
1481
01:23:11,454 --> 01:23:13,988
about your stretch in prison:
1482
01:23:13,990 --> 01:23:15,489
the day you get in...
1483
01:23:15,491 --> 01:23:17,358
[door buzzing]
1484
01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:19,093
...and the day you get out.
1485
01:23:20,328 --> 01:23:22,463
And you'll
only remember your last
1486
01:23:22,465 --> 01:23:25,699
so long as you've got
something waiting for you.
1487
01:23:25,701 --> 01:23:28,369
- One wallet. One watch.
- As of the day you're
released,
1488
01:23:28,371 --> 01:23:30,537
they can't inspect your mail.
1489
01:23:30,539 --> 01:23:35,476
Oh, and this arrived this
morning. Just cleared.
1490
01:23:35,478 --> 01:23:37,444
Who's it from?
1491
01:23:37,446 --> 01:23:39,113
Doesn't say.
1492
01:23:39,115 --> 01:23:40,714
I could never be certain,
1493
01:23:40,716 --> 01:23:43,417
but I had faith.
1494
01:23:43,419 --> 01:23:46,086
I had trust.
1495
01:23:47,355 --> 01:23:50,257
And if you've got no trust...
1496
01:23:51,726 --> 01:23:53,794
...then what do you got?
1497
01:23:55,163 --> 01:23:57,164
[� soul music]
1498
01:23:58,299 --> 01:24:01,235
� Stop me, baby
1499
01:24:02,804 --> 01:24:05,339
� Ooh
1500
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:10,411
� I'm feelin' awful, baby
1501
01:24:10,413 --> 01:24:14,448
� Like I'm locked up
in a cage �
1502
01:24:14,450 --> 01:24:18,052
� Like a dog
who lost his collar �
1503
01:24:18,054 --> 01:24:20,821
� A show without a stage
1504
01:24:22,057 --> 01:24:25,292
� I gotta move
1505
01:24:26,361 --> 01:24:29,196
� Gotta pack my bags and go
1506
01:24:30,331 --> 01:24:32,699
� Gotta move
1507
01:24:34,235 --> 01:24:36,703
� Gotta pack my bags and go
1508
01:24:38,173 --> 01:24:41,241
� I can't stay around here
1509
01:24:42,243 --> 01:24:44,778
� And baby I'm sure you know
1510
01:24:46,281 --> 01:24:48,115
� This love
1511
01:24:48,117 --> 01:24:50,417
� This love...
1512
01:24:50,419 --> 01:24:52,519
- What painting?
- The Seurat.
1513
01:24:52,521 --> 01:24:54,121
Whoa. Whoa. What?
1514
01:24:54,123 --> 01:24:57,157
The Georges Seurat,
you ignorant fuck.
1515
01:24:57,159 --> 01:25:00,127
The seminal post French
"Impressionalisht".
1516
01:25:00,129 --> 01:25:03,864
- The father of fucking... Fuck!
- [all laughing]
1517
01:25:03,866 --> 01:25:07,734
The seminal founder of
"Post-Impressionalism".
1518
01:25:07,736 --> 01:25:10,237
- The father of pointillism.
- [Francie] Seminal French
1519
01:25:10,239 --> 01:25:13,173
- Post-Impressionist.
- Seminal French
Post-Impressionist.
1520
01:25:13,175 --> 01:25:15,109
- [Francie] And father
of pointillism.
- And father of pointillism.
1521
01:25:15,111 --> 01:25:17,578
The seminal French
"Post-Impressionalist".
1522
01:25:17,580 --> 01:25:21,181
The founder of fuckin', fuckin'
and the fuck line-ups. [laughs]
1523
01:25:21,183 --> 01:25:25,819
- [laughs]
- Arr, matey! The Georges
Seurat, you ignorant fuck.
1524
01:25:25,821 --> 01:25:28,722
The seminal father of
"Post-Impressionalism".
1525
01:25:28,724 --> 01:25:31,225
The founder of fuckin'...
1526
01:25:31,227 --> 01:25:32,759
That guy!
1527
01:25:32,761 --> 01:25:35,329
The Seminal French
"Post-Impressionalist".
1528
01:25:35,331 --> 01:25:36,697
The father of pointillism.
1529
01:25:36,699 --> 01:25:39,199
That Georges Seurat,
you fuckin' baboon.
1530
01:25:39,201 --> 01:25:40,767
[crew applauds]
1531
01:25:40,769 --> 01:25:43,470
He's the seminal French
"Post-Impressionalist"!
1532
01:25:45,173 --> 01:25:46,907
My God, you're a downer.
1533
01:25:46,909 --> 01:25:49,343
What the fuck,
what are you, Eeyore?
1534
01:25:49,345 --> 01:25:50,777
What are you, Morrissey?
1535
01:25:50,779 --> 01:25:52,913
What are you,
fuckin' Willy Loman?
1536
01:25:52,915 --> 01:25:54,848
A fuckin' boner killer.
1537
01:25:54,850 --> 01:25:57,718
[Crunch laughs] A boner-killer?
1538
01:26:00,288 --> 01:26:05,192
Even for you, Francie,
I refuse to be a boner killer.
1539
01:26:06,761 --> 01:26:08,762
So, should I get the door?
1540
01:26:08,764 --> 01:26:10,564
[all laughing]
1541
01:26:10,566 --> 01:26:12,599
I'll get the door.
1542
01:26:13,801 --> 01:26:16,170
I'll get it.
1543
01:26:16,172 --> 01:26:17,604
Hoo hoo!
1544
01:26:19,240 --> 01:26:21,742
- I'm in a play.
- Yeah?
1545
01:26:21,744 --> 01:26:24,244
- What's it called?
- Amish Cats.
1546
01:26:24,246 --> 01:26:26,180
- [man] What's it called?
- Punch My Pussy.
1547
01:26:26,182 --> 01:26:28,215
Punch My Pussy?
1548
01:26:28,217 --> 01:26:30,284
- Wait. What's it called?
- Cats.
1549
01:26:30,286 --> 01:26:31,852
The... The Cats?
1550
01:26:31,854 --> 01:26:35,389
The Cats. Cats or The Cats.
1551
01:26:35,391 --> 01:26:37,758
- All rightee. With the beard?
- Yeah.
1552
01:26:37,760 --> 01:26:40,761
� I gotta move
1553
01:26:42,330 --> 01:26:44,798
� Gotta pack my bags and go
1554
01:26:46,201 --> 01:26:48,569
� Gotta move
1555
01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:52,506
� Gotta pack my bags and go
1556
01:26:54,242 --> 01:26:57,211
� I can't stay around here
1557
01:26:58,246 --> 01:27:00,881
� Baby, I'm sure you know
1558
01:27:02,250 --> 01:27:03,850
� This love
1559
01:27:03,852 --> 01:27:05,886
� This love
1560
01:27:05,888 --> 01:27:09,823
� This love ain't big enough
for the two of us �
1561
01:27:11,926 --> 01:27:14,761
� I'm off to see the country
1562
01:27:15,830 --> 01:27:18,632
� And breathe the ocean air
1563
01:27:19,767 --> 01:27:22,736
� I can't take your whining
1564
01:27:23,671 --> 01:27:27,608
� But how, I just don't care
1565
01:27:27,610 --> 01:27:31,645
� I gotta get moving
1566
01:27:31,647 --> 01:27:33,947
� By road or in the street
1567
01:27:35,583 --> 01:27:39,019
� This love is like
Hell's Kitchen �
1568
01:27:39,021 --> 01:27:41,922
� And I just can't
take the heat �
1569
01:27:43,625 --> 01:27:45,559
� This love
1570
01:27:45,561 --> 01:27:47,527
� This love
1571
01:27:47,529 --> 01:27:51,698
� This love ain't big enough
for the two of us �
1572
01:27:56,371 --> 01:28:00,007
� You used to be so sweet
1573
01:28:00,009 --> 01:28:03,377
� Well, all the good
loving's gone �
1574
01:28:03,379 --> 01:28:07,047
� I tried to understand
1575
01:28:08,583 --> 01:28:12,486
� But a man can only
take so much, girl �
1576
01:28:21,329 --> 01:28:26,466
� Hey, baby!
1577
01:28:38,713 --> 01:28:40,614
� Come on
1578
01:28:45,953 --> 01:28:49,856
� If you're looking
for me baby �
1579
01:28:49,858 --> 01:28:53,760
� I'll be roaming
in the streets �
1580
01:28:53,762 --> 01:28:57,564
� Be roaming
in the street, baby �
1581
01:28:57,566 --> 01:29:00,567
� Come on
1582
01:30:09,971 --> 01:30:13,039
It's fuckin' slow, man.