1
00:00:03,048 --> 00:00:05,592
(ROCK BAND WARMING UP)
2
00:00:16,311 --> 00:00:19,314
MAN: Okay, guys, here we go.
Here we go.
3
00:00:19,523 --> 00:00:21,525
One, two...
4
00:00:21,650 --> 00:00:23,610
One, two, three...
5
00:00:23,652 --> 00:00:27,197
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
6
00:00:27,239 --> 00:00:30,117
(SINGING) It's been one week
since you looked at me
7
00:00:30,284 --> 00:00:32,327
Cocked your head to the side
and said I'm angry
8
00:00:32,411 --> 00:00:34,329
Five days since you
laughed at me saying
9
00:00:34,371 --> 00:00:36,457
Get that together
come back and see me
10
00:00:36,749 --> 00:00:38,667
Three days since
the living room
11
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:40,669
I realised it's all my fault
but couldn't tell you
12
00:00:40,753 --> 00:00:42,671
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
13
00:00:42,713 --> 00:00:44,882
But it'll still be two days
till I say I'm sorry
14
00:00:45,007 --> 00:00:47,384
Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
as I make you stop, think
15
00:00:47,801 --> 00:00:50,262
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish
16
00:00:50,304 --> 00:00:51,430
Though I like my Chalet Swiss
17
00:00:51,472 --> 00:00:53,515
I like the sushi 'cause
it's never touched a frying pan
18
00:00:53,557 --> 00:00:56,226
Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
19
00:00:56,352 --> 00:00:59,313
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
20
00:00:59,563 --> 00:01:01,982
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I bust through
21
00:01:02,107 --> 00:01:04,401
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
22
00:01:04,443 --> 00:01:06,236
I like vanilla
It's the finest of the flavours
23
00:01:06,278 --> 00:01:08,655
Gotta see the show 'cause then you'll
know the vertigo is gonna grow
24
00:01:08,697 --> 00:01:10,949
'Cause it's so dangerous
you'll have to sign a waiver
25
00:01:10,991 --> 00:01:14,244
(HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
26
00:01:14,578 --> 00:01:17,331
I don't give a damn
'bout my reputation
27
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,877
You're livin' in the past
It's a new generation
28
00:01:23,837 --> 00:01:27,800
A girl can do what she wants to do
and that's what I'm gonna do
29
00:01:28,592 --> 00:01:31,512
And I don't give a damn
'bout my bad reputation
30
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,307
- Oh, no
- No, no, no, no, no, no
31
00:01:35,432 --> 00:01:38,060
- Not me
- Me, me, me, me, me, me
32
00:01:38,102 --> 00:01:40,771
And I don't give a damn
'bout my reputation
33
00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:45,484
Never said I wanted
to improve my station
34
00:01:47,069 --> 00:01:49,655
And I'm only doing good
when I'm having fun
35
00:01:49,697 --> 00:01:51,949
And I don't have
to please no one
36
00:01:52,032 --> 00:01:54,243
And I don't give a damn
'bout my bad reputation
37
00:01:54,284 --> 00:01:55,744
Hey!
38
00:01:56,745 --> 00:01:59,081
- Oh, no
- No, no, no, no, no, no
39
00:01:59,123 --> 00:02:00,207
Not me
40
00:02:00,249 --> 00:02:02,251
(COMPUTER KEYS CLACKING)
41
00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:04,253
I'll be right with you.
42
00:02:15,389 --> 00:02:19,351
So, Cameron. Here you go.
43
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:23,105
Nine schools in 10 years.
My, my. Army brat?
44
00:02:23,313 --> 00:02:25,774
- Yeah. My dad is, uh...
- That's enough.
45
00:02:27,192 --> 00:02:30,362
I'm sure you won't find Padua
any different than your old schools.
46
00:02:30,946 --> 00:02:33,824
Same little ass-wipe shit-for-brains
everywhere.
47
00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:35,159
(CHUCKLES)
48
00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:41,165
Excuse me? Did you just say...
Am I in the right office?
49
00:02:41,206 --> 00:02:43,959
Not any more, you're not. I've got
deviants to see and a novel to finish.
50
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:46,003
Now, scoot. Scoot!
51
00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,255
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay.
52
00:02:48,881 --> 00:02:50,883
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
53
00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:56,472
Patrick Verona.
54
00:02:56,513 --> 00:02:58,932
I see we're making
our visits a weekly ritual.
55
00:02:59,183 --> 00:03:02,394
Only so we can have these moments
together. Should I, uh, hit the lights?
56
00:03:02,895 --> 00:03:05,481
Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy.
57
00:03:05,522 --> 00:03:08,067
Says here you exposed yourself
in the cafeteria?
58
00:03:08,734 --> 00:03:11,487
I was joking with the lunch lady.
It was a bratwurst.
59
00:03:11,653 --> 00:03:13,030
Bratwurst?
60
00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:16,283
Aren't we the optimist?
61
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:22,039
Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay?
62
00:03:22,831 --> 00:03:24,166
Scoot!
63
00:03:38,013 --> 00:03:40,391
Hello! Michael Eckman.
I'm supposed to show you around.
64
00:03:40,766 --> 00:03:42,976
Oh, hi. Thank God. You know, uh...
65
00:03:43,018 --> 00:03:45,854
Normally they send down
one of those audio visual geeks.
66
00:03:45,896 --> 00:03:47,690
No, I do. I know what you mean.
67
00:03:47,731 --> 00:03:49,358
Hey, Michael,
where should I put those slides?
68
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,570
Michael? So, uh... Cameron.
69
00:03:53,946 --> 00:03:57,908
Here's the breakdown. Over there,
we've got your basic beautiful people.
70
00:03:57,950 --> 00:04:01,203
Now listen. Unless they talk
to you first, don't bother.
71
00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:04,248
- Wait. Is that your rule or theirs?
- Watch. Hey, there.
72
00:04:04,498 --> 00:04:07,042
- Eat me.
- You see that?
73
00:04:08,210 --> 00:04:09,503
To the left, we have the coffee kids.
74
00:04:09,545 --> 00:04:10,629
(COFFEE SPILLING)
75
00:04:10,671 --> 00:04:13,132
- That was Costa Rican, butthead!
- Very edgy.
76
00:04:13,173 --> 00:04:14,883
Don't make any sudden movements
around them.
77
00:04:15,175 --> 00:04:17,553
These delusionals
are your white Rastas.
78
00:04:17,803 --> 00:04:20,139
They're big Marley fans.
They think they're black.
79
00:04:20,472 --> 00:04:22,433
- Semi-political, but mostly...
- Smoke a lot of weed?
80
00:04:22,474 --> 00:04:25,394
- Yeah. These guys...
- Wait, wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?
81
00:04:25,686 --> 00:04:28,689
Yeah, but the closest they've come
to a cow is McDonald's.
82
00:04:30,524 --> 00:04:32,901
(CHUCKLING) McDonald's.
83
00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:35,946
These are your future MBAs.
We're all lvy League accepted.
84
00:04:35,988 --> 00:04:37,906
Yuppie greed is back, my friend.
85
00:04:37,948 --> 00:04:40,617
- Hey, guys, how you doin'?
- Close it, Bogey!
86
00:04:42,036 --> 00:04:44,913
- Yesterday, I was their god.
- What happened?
87
00:04:45,039 --> 00:04:48,584
(SIGHING) Bogey Lowenstein
started a rumour that I...
88
00:04:48,917 --> 00:04:52,087
That I buy my lzods at an outlet mall.
89
00:04:52,296 --> 00:04:55,132
- So they kicked you out?
- Hostile takeover. But don't worry.
90
00:04:55,257 --> 00:04:58,135
- He'll pay. Now, over here...
- Oh, my God.
91
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:09,563
- What group is she in?
- The "don't even think about it" group.
92
00:05:09,688 --> 00:05:11,190
That's Bianca Stratford.
She's a sophomore.
93
00:05:11,231 --> 00:05:13,609
I burn, I pine, I perish.
94
00:05:13,817 --> 00:05:16,987
Of course you do.
You know, she's beautiful and deep.
95
00:05:17,321 --> 00:05:19,239
I'm sure.
96
00:05:19,281 --> 00:05:21,867
Yeah, but see, there's a difference
between like and love.
97
00:05:22,034 --> 00:05:25,579
Because I like my Skechers,
but I love my Prada backpack.
98
00:05:25,954 --> 00:05:28,123
But I love my Skechers.
99
00:05:28,207 --> 00:05:30,209
That's because you don't have
a Prada backpack.
100
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,627
Oh.
101
00:05:33,087 --> 00:05:36,006
Listen, forget her.
Incredibly uptight father.
102
00:05:36,048 --> 00:05:37,132
And it's a widely known fact that
103
00:05:37,174 --> 00:05:39,301
the Stratford sisters
aren't allowed to date.
104
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,136
Uh-huh. Yeah.
105
00:05:41,970 --> 00:05:43,055
Whatever.
106
00:05:43,097 --> 00:05:44,223
(BELL RINGING)
107
00:05:44,848 --> 00:05:46,975
(CHATTERING)
108
00:05:50,854 --> 00:05:54,566
Okay, then. What did everyone
think of The Sun Also Rises?
109
00:05:55,150 --> 00:05:58,362
I loved it. He's so romantic.
110
00:05:58,404 --> 00:06:00,572
Romantic? Hemingway?
111
00:06:00,614 --> 00:06:03,575
He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist
who squandered half his life
112
00:06:03,617 --> 00:06:06,161
hanging around Picasso
trying to nail his leftovers.
113
00:06:06,203 --> 00:06:09,331
As opposed to a bitter,
self-righteous hag who has no friends?
114
00:06:09,623 --> 00:06:11,917
(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
115
00:06:12,126 --> 00:06:13,836
Pipe down, Chachi.
116
00:06:15,087 --> 00:06:17,297
I guess in this society,
being male and an asshole
117
00:06:17,339 --> 00:06:19,008
makes you worthy of our time.
118
00:06:19,091 --> 00:06:20,509
(STUDENTS GROANING)
119
00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:21,844
What about Sylvia Plath,
120
00:06:21,885 --> 00:06:24,388
or Charlotte Brontë
or Simone de Beauvoir?
121
00:06:25,681 --> 00:06:27,850
(PANTING) What'd I miss?
122
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:31,353
The oppressive patriarchal values
that dictate our education.
123
00:06:31,395 --> 00:06:32,521
Good.
124
00:06:33,731 --> 00:06:35,441
- Hey, hey!
- BOY: Mr Morgan.
125
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,776
Is there any chance we could get Kat
to take her Midol
126
00:06:37,818 --> 00:06:39,486
before she comes to class?
127
00:06:39,653 --> 00:06:41,363
(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
128
00:06:41,405 --> 00:06:42,865
Someday you're gonna get
bitch-slapped,
129
00:06:42,906 --> 00:06:45,659
and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.
130
00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:49,038
And, Kat, I want to thank you
for your point of view.
131
00:06:49,079 --> 00:06:51,665
I know how difficult it must be for you
to overcome all those years
132
00:06:51,707 --> 00:06:54,209
of upper-middle class
suburban oppression.
133
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,086
Must be tough.
134
00:06:56,545 --> 00:07:00,215
But the next time you storm the P.T.A.,
crusading for better lunch meat,
135
00:07:00,257 --> 00:07:02,259
or whatever it is
you white girls complain about,
136
00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:05,095
ask them why they can't buy a book
written by a black man!
137
00:07:05,137 --> 00:07:08,724
- That's right, mon!
- Don't even get me started on you two.
138
00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:11,060
(BOTH MUMBLING)
139
00:07:11,435 --> 00:07:12,561
Anything else?
140
00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:15,147
Yeah, go to the office.
You're pissing me off.
141
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:17,399
- What? Mr Morgan...
- Later!
142
00:07:19,818 --> 00:07:21,820
(SCATTERED CHUCKLING)
143
00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:23,072
(EX CLAIMS)
144
00:07:23,614 --> 00:07:25,949
Undulating with desire,
145
00:07:26,909 --> 00:07:29,745
Adrienne removes her red...
146
00:07:31,705 --> 00:07:33,999
(SIGHS)
147
00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:42,633
Crimson cape
148
00:07:43,342 --> 00:07:46,011
at the sight of Reginald's stiff and...
149
00:07:51,225 --> 00:07:52,601
Judith!
150
00:07:54,395 --> 00:07:57,189
What's another word for "engorged"?
151
00:07:58,148 --> 00:07:59,692
I'll look it up.
152
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:00,901
Okay.
153
00:08:02,444 --> 00:08:06,615
- Swollen. Turgid.
- Tumescent?
154
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,118
Perfect.
155
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:13,414
So, I hear you were terrorising
Mr Morgan's class again.
156
00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:18,377
Expressing my opinion
is not a terrorist action.
157
00:08:18,419 --> 00:08:21,463
The way you expressed your opinion
to Bobby Ridgeway?
158
00:08:21,505 --> 00:08:24,591
By the way, his testicle
retrieval operation went quite well,
159
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:26,260
in case you're interested.
160
00:08:26,427 --> 00:08:29,346
I still maintain
that he kicked himself in the balls.
161
00:08:29,805 --> 00:08:31,765
The point is, Kat...
162
00:08:34,226 --> 00:08:35,352
Cat.
163
00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:36,687
(SIGHS)
164
00:08:37,771 --> 00:08:39,148
(PURRS)
165
00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:43,235
People perceive you as somewhat...
166
00:08:43,777 --> 00:08:44,987
Tempestuous?
167
00:08:45,029 --> 00:08:47,990
"Heinous bitch" is
the term used most often.
168
00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:52,786
You might want to work on that.
169
00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:55,831
Thank you.
170
00:08:56,248 --> 00:08:58,959
As always, thank you
for your excellent guidance.
171
00:09:00,044 --> 00:09:02,713
I'll let you get back
to Reginald's quivering member.
172
00:09:04,673 --> 00:09:07,676
"Quivering member." I like that.
173
00:09:08,886 --> 00:09:10,971
Virgin alert. Your favourite.
174
00:09:16,602 --> 00:09:19,188
Ooh. Lookin' good, ladies.
175
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,191
Oh, she's out of reach, even for you.
176
00:09:22,316 --> 00:09:26,070
- No one's out of reach for me.
- You wanna put money on that?
177
00:09:26,362 --> 00:09:28,113
Money, I've got.
178
00:09:28,489 --> 00:09:29,990
This I'm gonna do for fun.
179
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,117
(SCOFFS)
180
00:09:33,869 --> 00:09:36,038
- Who's that guy?
- That's Joey Donner.
181
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,666
He's a jerk off, and a model.
182
00:09:38,832 --> 00:09:40,334
- (CHUCKLES) He's a model?
- A model.
183
00:09:40,376 --> 00:09:43,671
Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumoured
to have a big tube sock ad coming out.
184
00:09:43,712 --> 00:09:45,214
- Really?
- Really.
185
00:09:50,344 --> 00:09:53,889
Man, look at her. Is she always so...
186
00:09:53,931 --> 00:09:56,350
- Vapid?
- How can you say that? She's totally...
187
00:09:56,392 --> 00:09:58,227
- Conceited.
- What are you talking about?
188
00:09:58,268 --> 00:10:00,104
There's more to her than you think.
189
00:10:00,145 --> 00:10:04,525
Look at the way she smiles,
and look at her eyes, man.
190
00:10:04,566 --> 00:10:08,904
She's totally pure.
You're missing what's there.
191
00:10:09,029 --> 00:10:11,615
No, no, Cameron, no. What's there
192
00:10:11,657 --> 00:10:16,036
is a snotty little princess wearing
a strategically planned sun dress
193
00:10:16,078 --> 00:10:19,540
to make guys like us realise
that we can never touch her
194
00:10:19,581 --> 00:10:22,459
and guys like Joey realise
that they want to.
195
00:10:22,543 --> 00:10:26,171
She, my friend, is what we will spend
the rest of our lives not having.
196
00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:28,257
Put her in your spank bank, move on.
197
00:10:28,298 --> 00:10:31,176
- Move on.
- No, no. You're wrong about her.
198
00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:33,595
I mean, you know,
not about the spanking part,
199
00:10:33,637 --> 00:10:35,055
but the rest, you're wrong.
200
00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:38,684
All right... I'm wrong?
You wanna take a shot, be my guest.
201
00:10:38,726 --> 00:10:40,602
She's actually looking
for a French tutor.
202
00:10:40,644 --> 00:10:42,604
Are you serious? That's perfect!
203
00:10:42,771 --> 00:10:44,857
Do you speak French?
204
00:10:45,024 --> 00:10:47,109
Well, no, but I will.
205
00:10:50,279 --> 00:10:53,907
Hey. Your little Rambo look is out, Kat.
206
00:10:54,199 --> 00:10:57,911
- Didn't you read last month's Cosmo?
- Run along.
207
00:11:00,956 --> 00:11:04,126
I know you can be overwhelmed,
and you can be underwhelmed,
208
00:11:04,543 --> 00:11:06,795
but can you ever just be "whelmed"?
209
00:11:06,837 --> 00:11:10,424
- I think you can in Europe.
- Hi, ladies.
210
00:11:10,466 --> 00:11:13,260
Would you sweet young things
like a ride?
211
00:11:18,766 --> 00:11:20,893
Careful on the leather.
212
00:11:23,145 --> 00:11:24,772
Whoo!
213
00:11:24,813 --> 00:11:27,316
That's a charming new development.
214
00:11:27,358 --> 00:11:28,984
It's disgusting.
215
00:11:32,196 --> 00:11:35,240
Remove head from sphincter,
then drive!
216
00:11:40,996 --> 00:11:42,665
- You okay?
- Yeah.
217
00:11:42,706 --> 00:11:45,376
Just a minor encounter with the shrew.
218
00:11:45,459 --> 00:11:49,004
- That's your girlfriend's sister.
- That's Bianca's sister?
219
00:11:49,046 --> 00:11:52,383
The mewling, rampalian wretch herself.
220
00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:54,802
- (SIGHS) Stay cool, bro.
- Yeah, see you later.
221
00:11:56,470 --> 00:11:57,805
Look out!
222
00:12:04,436 --> 00:12:07,356
My balls! Oh, boy.
223
00:12:16,281 --> 00:12:18,200
(GRUNTS)
224
00:12:22,454 --> 00:12:26,709
(LAUGHS) Yeah, whoo!
225
00:12:44,351 --> 00:12:48,772
(SINGING)
Sunshine on the window
226
00:12:49,273 --> 00:12:51,734
Makes me happy
227
00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:54,737
Like I should be
228
00:12:55,029 --> 00:12:59,408
Outside all around me
229
00:12:59,616 --> 00:13:02,077
Really sleazy
230
00:13:02,119 --> 00:13:04,913
Then it hits me
231
00:13:05,122 --> 00:13:06,915
Don't tell me
232
00:13:06,957 --> 00:13:10,586
You can't see
what it means to me
233
00:13:10,627 --> 00:13:12,838
Me, me, me
234
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:17,176
Hello, Katarina.
Make anyone cry today?
235
00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:20,095
Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.
236
00:13:21,847 --> 00:13:23,891
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hello, precious.
237
00:13:24,558 --> 00:13:26,602
- And where have you been?
- Nowhere.
238
00:13:26,643 --> 00:13:29,229
Hey, what's this?
It says Sarah Lawrence.
239
00:13:29,396 --> 00:13:31,273
(GASPS)
240
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:35,235
(SCREAMS) I got in!
241
00:13:35,277 --> 00:13:37,613
(GIGGLING EX CITEDLY) I got in!
242
00:13:37,654 --> 00:13:39,948
Uh, honey, that's great,
243
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:42,076
but isn't Sarah Lawrence
on the other side of the country?
244
00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:43,202
Thus the basis of its appeal.
245
00:13:43,243 --> 00:13:44,495
(CHUCKLES)
246
00:13:44,536 --> 00:13:46,789
I thought we decided you were
going to stay here and go to school.
247
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:49,166
"U-Dub," like me.
Be a Husky.
248
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:50,626
(GROWLING)
249
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:52,920
No, you decided.
250
00:13:53,587 --> 00:13:56,340
Oh, okay, so what, you just pick up
and leave, is that it?
251
00:13:56,507 --> 00:13:57,841
Let's hope so.
252
00:13:58,425 --> 00:14:00,552
Ask Bianca who drove her home.
253
00:14:00,594 --> 00:14:02,763
Kat, don't change the...
Drove? Who drove you home?
254
00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:05,349
Now, don't get upset, Daddy,
but there's this boy...
255
00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:08,185
- Who's a flaming imbecile.
- And I think he might ask me...
256
00:14:08,227 --> 00:14:10,145
Please. I think I know
what he's going to ask you.
257
00:14:10,187 --> 00:14:12,981
And I think I know the answer... No.
It's always no.
258
00:14:13,107 --> 00:14:17,361
What are the two house rules?
Number one, no dating till you graduate.
259
00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:20,197
Number two, no dating till you graduate.
260
00:14:20,447 --> 00:14:23,200
- That's it.
- Daddy, that's so unfair.
261
00:14:23,242 --> 00:14:26,286
All right, you want to know
what's unfair? This is for you, too.
262
00:14:26,328 --> 00:14:29,665
This morning I delivered a set of twins
to a 15-year-old girl.
263
00:14:29,707 --> 00:14:31,291
Do you know what she said to me?
264
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:32,751
I'm a crack whore who should have
265
00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:35,254
made my skeezy boyfriend
wear a condom?
266
00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,675
Close, but no.
267
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,053
She said,
"I should have listened to my father."
268
00:14:43,095 --> 00:14:45,681
- She did not.
- Well, that's what she would have said
269
00:14:45,723 --> 00:14:47,641
if she wasn't so doped up.
270
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,145
Can we focus on me
for a second, please?
271
00:14:51,186 --> 00:14:53,355
I am the only girl in school
who's not dating.
272
00:14:53,397 --> 00:14:54,940
Oh, no, you're not.
Your sister doesn't date.
273
00:14:54,982 --> 00:14:56,316
And I don't intend to.
274
00:14:56,358 --> 00:14:58,027
And why is that again?
275
00:14:58,068 --> 00:15:01,113
Have you seen the unwashed
miscreants that go to that school?
276
00:15:01,155 --> 00:15:03,490
Where did you come from?
Planet Loser?
277
00:15:03,532 --> 00:15:05,034
As opposed to
Planet Look At Me, Look At Me.
278
00:15:05,075 --> 00:15:06,160
(SCOFFS)
279
00:15:06,201 --> 00:15:07,369
(CLAPS HANDS)
280
00:15:07,411 --> 00:15:09,038
Okay, here's how we solve this one.
281
00:15:09,079 --> 00:15:12,958
Old rule out. New rule, Bianca can date
282
00:15:15,419 --> 00:15:17,004
when she does.
283
00:15:18,797 --> 00:15:21,175
But she's a mutant!
What if she never dates?
284
00:15:21,216 --> 00:15:23,427
Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
285
00:15:23,677 --> 00:15:25,888
And I'll get to sleep at night.
286
00:15:26,221 --> 00:15:28,932
The deep slumber of a father whose
daughters aren't out being impregnated.
287
00:15:28,974 --> 00:15:30,601
(PAGER BEEPING)
288
00:15:31,852 --> 00:15:33,937
- We'll talk about Sarah Lawrence later.
- Fine.
289
00:15:33,979 --> 00:15:35,939
- Wait! Daddy!
- Gotta go.
290
00:15:37,775 --> 00:15:39,902
Can't you just find
some blind, deaf retard
291
00:15:39,943 --> 00:15:42,154
to take you to the movies
so I can have one date?
292
00:15:42,196 --> 00:15:44,156
I'm sorry. Looks like
you'll just have to miss out
293
00:15:44,198 --> 00:15:46,867
on the witty repartee
of Joey "Eat Me" Donner.
294
00:15:47,284 --> 00:15:49,286
(SCOFFS) You suck.
295
00:15:49,536 --> 00:15:50,996
(MOCKINGLY) You suck.
296
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:05,636
Hi. Can we make this quick?
297
00:16:05,678 --> 00:16:08,222
Roxanne Corinne and Andrew Jarrett
are having an incredibly horrendous
298
00:16:08,263 --> 00:16:10,683
public break-up on the quad, again.
299
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:14,478
Oh, yeah, um, okay.
I thought that we'd, um,
300
00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:17,856
start with pronunciation,
if that's all right with you.
301
00:16:18,065 --> 00:16:21,527
Not the hacking and gagging
and spitting part, please.
302
00:16:21,735 --> 00:16:24,196
Well, uh, there is an alternative.
303
00:16:24,238 --> 00:16:27,282
- There is?
- Yeah, French food.
304
00:16:27,324 --> 00:16:30,244
We could eat some together, uh,
305
00:16:31,495 --> 00:16:33,080
Saturday night?
306
00:16:35,791 --> 00:16:37,668
You're asking me out?
307
00:16:38,168 --> 00:16:40,546
That's so cute.
What's your name again?
308
00:16:41,255 --> 00:16:44,133
Cameron. Listen, I know
that your dad doesn't let you date,
309
00:16:44,174 --> 00:16:46,468
but I thought
that if it was for French class...
310
00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:49,513
- Oh, wait a minute. Curtis...
- Cameron.
311
00:16:49,763 --> 00:16:53,559
My dad just came up with a new rule.
I can date when my sister does.
312
00:16:53,684 --> 00:16:56,228
You're kidding.
Let me ask you, do you like sailing?
313
00:16:56,270 --> 00:16:57,938
'Cause I read about this place
that rents boats...
314
00:16:57,980 --> 00:16:59,857
A beaucoup problemo, Calvin.
315
00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:04,611
In case you haven't heard, my sister's
a particularly hideous breed of loser.
316
00:17:04,987 --> 00:17:08,866
Yeah. Yeah, I noticed
she's a little antisocial.
317
00:17:08,907 --> 00:17:11,910
- Why is that?
- Unsolved mystery.
318
00:17:11,952 --> 00:17:14,496
She used to be really popular,
and then it was like
319
00:17:14,538 --> 00:17:16,665
she got sick of it or something.
320
00:17:16,915 --> 00:17:18,042
Theories abound as to why,
321
00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:21,128
but I'm pretty sure she's just
incapable of human interaction.
322
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,088
Plus, she's a bitch.
323
00:17:25,090 --> 00:17:27,009
Well, yeah, but I'm sure,
you know, that there are
324
00:17:27,051 --> 00:17:31,055
lots of guys who wouldn't mind
going out with a difficult woman.
325
00:17:31,263 --> 00:17:35,267
I mean, you know, people jump
out of airplanes and ski off cliffs.
326
00:17:35,309 --> 00:17:38,520
It'd be like "Extreme Dating." Huh?
327
00:17:39,897 --> 00:17:42,232
You think you could find
someone that extreme?
328
00:17:42,691 --> 00:17:44,401
Yeah, sure, why not?
329
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:47,946
- And you'd do that for me?
- Hell, yes!
330
00:17:47,988 --> 00:17:51,283
I mean, you know, I could look into it.
331
00:17:52,576 --> 00:17:54,078
(BELL RINGS)
332
00:17:57,122 --> 00:18:01,001
Now, I have gathered a group of guys,
couldn't be more perfect.
333
00:18:01,043 --> 00:18:02,628
Padua's finest.
334
00:18:07,174 --> 00:18:08,884
Hi. How you doin'?
335
00:18:10,177 --> 00:18:13,889
Would any of you be interested
in dating Katarina Stratford?
336
00:18:14,306 --> 00:18:16,225
(LAUGHING)
337
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,771
(CHUCKLES)
I've never been that ripped.
338
00:18:21,063 --> 00:18:23,982
Maybe if we were
the last two people alive,
339
00:18:24,024 --> 00:18:25,776
and there were no sheep.
340
00:18:25,818 --> 00:18:26,944
Are there sheep?
341
00:18:26,985 --> 00:18:28,070
(SCREAMING)
342
00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:37,413
Did I or did I not tell you
it was pointless?
343
00:18:37,454 --> 00:18:39,331
No one will go out with her.
344
00:18:43,836 --> 00:18:45,754
Hey, hey, what about him?
345
00:18:46,046 --> 00:18:48,424
Him? No, don't...
Don't look at him, okay?
346
00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:52,636
He's a criminal.
I heard he lit a state trooper on fire.
347
00:18:52,678 --> 00:18:56,598
- He just did a year in San Quentin.
- Well, at least he's horny.
348
00:18:57,391 --> 00:18:59,393
I'm serious, man. He's whacked.
349
00:18:59,435 --> 00:19:03,939
He sold his own liver on the
black market for a new set of speakers.
350
00:19:10,988 --> 00:19:12,740
He's our guy.
351
00:19:16,952 --> 00:19:18,120
(CLEARS THROAT)
352
00:19:30,257 --> 00:19:32,301
Hi. How you doin'?
353
00:19:32,426 --> 00:19:33,552
Listen, I...
354
00:19:33,594 --> 00:19:35,220
(DRILL WHIRRING)
355
00:19:36,764 --> 00:19:38,849
Okay. Later, then.
356
00:19:46,148 --> 00:19:48,484
How do we get him to date Kat?
357
00:19:49,109 --> 00:19:51,028
(SIGHS)
I don't know.
358
00:19:52,071 --> 00:19:54,198
I mean, uh, we could pay him,
359
00:19:55,657 --> 00:19:57,910
but we don't have any money.
360
00:19:58,077 --> 00:20:00,537
Yeah, well, what we need is a backer.
361
00:20:00,621 --> 00:20:04,333
- What's that?
- Someone with money who's stupid.
362
00:20:08,462 --> 00:20:10,005
Oh, yeah.
363
00:20:18,806 --> 00:20:21,392
Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up?
Because you don't see many...
364
00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:24,311
Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.
365
00:20:25,229 --> 00:20:26,689
- Are you lost?
- No.
366
00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:28,691
Actually, I just came by to chat.
367
00:20:29,817 --> 00:20:32,277
- We don't chat.
- Well, actually, I thought
368
00:20:32,319 --> 00:20:35,489
that I'd run an idea by you,
just to see if you're interested.
369
00:20:35,531 --> 00:20:37,992
- I'm not.
- Well, hear me out.
370
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:41,036
Now, you want Bianca, right?
371
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:44,873
But she can't go out with you
because her sister
372
00:20:44,915 --> 00:20:48,794
is this insane head case, and no one
will go out with her, right?
373
00:20:48,836 --> 00:20:50,713
Does this conversation
have a purpose?
374
00:20:50,754 --> 00:20:52,798
What I think you need to do,
375
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,926
is you need to hire a guy
who'll go out with her.
376
00:20:55,968 --> 00:20:58,554
Someone who doesn't scare so easily.
377
00:21:00,431 --> 00:21:02,057
JOEY: That guy?
378
00:21:03,017 --> 00:21:06,478
- I heard he ate a live duck once.
- Everything but the beak and feet.
379
00:21:06,854 --> 00:21:09,606
Clearly, he's a solid investment.
380
00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:12,776
- What's in it for you?
- Hey.
381
00:21:12,818 --> 00:21:16,822
I'm walking down the hall and
I say hello to you, you say hello to me.
382
00:21:16,864 --> 00:21:19,950
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
You're cool by association.
383
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,745
(CLEARS THROAT)
I'll think about it.
384
00:21:27,082 --> 00:21:29,001
- We're done now.
- Yeah.
385
00:21:33,881 --> 00:21:35,424
What are you doing
getting him involved?
386
00:21:35,466 --> 00:21:36,759
Relax, now. Relax.
387
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,761
We let him pretend
he's calling the shots.
388
00:21:38,802 --> 00:21:42,723
While he's busy setting things up,
you have time with Bianca.
389
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,310
That is a good idea. All right.
390
00:21:46,352 --> 00:21:47,811
(CHUCKLING)
391
00:21:49,563 --> 00:21:52,149
I have a dick on my face, don't I?
392
00:21:56,195 --> 00:21:58,113
Now, remember, guys,
393
00:21:58,572 --> 00:22:01,617
grip it and rip it.
394
00:22:11,251 --> 00:22:12,503
(WHISTLES BLOWING)
395
00:22:15,422 --> 00:22:17,424
Hey. How you doin'?
396
00:22:22,096 --> 00:22:24,056
I had some great duck last night.
397
00:22:26,141 --> 00:22:27,851
Do I know you?
398
00:22:28,644 --> 00:22:30,521
You see that girl?
399
00:22:32,856 --> 00:22:34,983
- Yeah.
- That's Kat Stratford.
400
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:36,443
I want you to go out with her.
401
00:22:36,944 --> 00:22:39,488
(SCOFFS)
Yeah, sure, Sparky.
402
00:22:41,699 --> 00:22:45,494
Look, I can't take out her sister
until Kat starts dating.
403
00:22:45,536 --> 00:22:48,330
You see, their dad's whacked out.
He's got this rule where the girls...
404
00:22:48,372 --> 00:22:51,750
That's a touching story. It really is.
Not my problem.
405
00:22:52,835 --> 00:22:54,336
Would you be willing
to make it your problem
406
00:22:54,378 --> 00:22:56,547
if I provide generous compensation?
407
00:22:58,257 --> 00:23:01,010
(CHUCKLES) You're gonna pay me
to take out some chick?
408
00:23:01,468 --> 00:23:02,886
Mmm-hmm.
409
00:23:02,928 --> 00:23:04,555
(CHUCKLES)
410
00:23:04,596 --> 00:23:07,099
- How much?
- Twenty bucks.
411
00:23:09,768 --> 00:23:10,853
(GRUNTS)
412
00:23:10,894 --> 00:23:12,021
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
413
00:23:15,399 --> 00:23:16,734
Fine, 30.
414
00:23:18,652 --> 00:23:20,571
Well, let's think about this.
415
00:23:20,654 --> 00:23:24,575
We go to the movies,
that's, uh, 15 bucks.
416
00:23:26,827 --> 00:23:30,039
We get popcorn, that's, uh, 53.
417
00:23:31,206 --> 00:23:33,417
And she'll want Raisinets, right?
418
00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:37,296
So, uh, we're looking at 75 bucks.
419
00:23:37,504 --> 00:23:41,342
This isn't a negotiation.
Take it or leave it, Trailer Park.
420
00:23:41,842 --> 00:23:44,511
Fifty bucks and we got a deal, Fabio.
421
00:23:47,389 --> 00:23:49,016
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
422
00:23:49,058 --> 00:23:51,727
CHAPIN: Great practise, everybody.
423
00:23:51,769 --> 00:23:54,813
- Good hustle, Stratford.
- KAT: Thanks, Mr Chapin.
424
00:24:03,864 --> 00:24:06,867
Hey there, girlie. How you doin'?
425
00:24:07,284 --> 00:24:09,536
Sweating like a pig, actually.
And yourself?
426
00:24:09,578 --> 00:24:12,039
Now, there's a way to get
a guy's attention, huh?
427
00:24:12,539 --> 00:24:14,249
My mission in life.
428
00:24:14,291 --> 00:24:17,044
But obviously, I struck your fancy,
so, you see, it worked.
429
00:24:17,086 --> 00:24:18,796
The world makes sense again.
430
00:24:18,837 --> 00:24:20,255
(CHUCKLES)
431
00:24:20,506 --> 00:24:23,926
- Pick you up on Friday, then.
- Oh, right. Friday. Uh-huh.
432
00:24:25,344 --> 00:24:28,347
Well, the night I take you places
you've never been before.
433
00:24:28,555 --> 00:24:30,766
Like where?
The 7-Eleven on Broadway?
434
00:24:30,891 --> 00:24:33,602
Do you even know
my name, screw boy?
435
00:24:33,644 --> 00:24:35,604
I know a lot more than you think.
436
00:24:35,896 --> 00:24:37,815
Doubtful. Very doubtful.
437
00:24:45,197 --> 00:24:46,281
We are screwed.
438
00:24:46,323 --> 00:24:48,325
Hey, I don't want to hear
that defeatist attitude.
439
00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:51,453
- I want to hear you upbeat.
- (CHEERFULLY) We're screwed!
440
00:24:51,495 --> 00:24:53,580
- There you go.
- GIRL: Hey, Coach Chapin!
441
00:24:59,003 --> 00:25:00,587
Run, Bogey!
442
00:25:07,761 --> 00:25:09,847
Have you ever considered a new look?
443
00:25:09,930 --> 00:25:12,349
I mean, seriously. You could
have some definite potential
444
00:25:12,391 --> 00:25:14,518
buried under all this hostility.
445
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,312
I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed.
446
00:25:17,438 --> 00:25:19,440
Why don't you try being nice?
447
00:25:19,523 --> 00:25:21,400
People wouldn't know what to think.
448
00:25:21,442 --> 00:25:23,652
You forget,
I don't care what people think.
449
00:25:23,694 --> 00:25:25,112
Yes, you do.
450
00:25:25,487 --> 00:25:26,947
No, I don't.
451
00:25:28,449 --> 00:25:30,826
You don't always have to be
who they want you to be, you know.
452
00:25:32,453 --> 00:25:35,039
I happen to like being adored,
thank you.
453
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,708
Where'd you get the pearls?
454
00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:39,293
They're Mom's.
455
00:25:39,835 --> 00:25:42,504
And you've been what,
hiding them for three years?
456
00:25:42,546 --> 00:25:44,798
No. Daddy found them
in a drawer last week.
457
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,842
So you're just gonna start
wearing them now?
458
00:25:46,884 --> 00:25:49,219
It's not like she's coming back
to claim them!
459
00:25:51,305 --> 00:25:54,683
Besides, they look good on me.
460
00:25:55,934 --> 00:25:57,770
Trust me. They don't.
461
00:26:03,233 --> 00:26:05,736
Nice ride. Vintage fenders.
462
00:26:05,944 --> 00:26:08,197
Are you following me?
463
00:26:08,238 --> 00:26:11,492
I was in the Laundromat.
I saw your car. I came over to say hi.
464
00:26:11,533 --> 00:26:12,618
Hi.
465
00:26:14,828 --> 00:26:17,790
- Not a big talker, huh?
- Depends on the topic.
466
00:26:17,831 --> 00:26:20,793
My fenders don't really whip me
into a verbal frenzy.
467
00:26:20,834 --> 00:26:24,588
- You're not afraid of me, are you?
- Why would I be afraid of you?
468
00:26:24,630 --> 00:26:27,091
- Well, most people are.
- Well, I'm not.
469
00:26:27,132 --> 00:26:28,258
Well, maybe you're not afraid of me,
470
00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:31,011
but I'm sure
you've thought about me naked.
471
00:26:31,679 --> 00:26:33,597
Am I that transparent?
472
00:26:33,764 --> 00:26:36,558
I want you, I need you.
Oh, baby, oh, baby.
473
00:26:41,939 --> 00:26:45,693
(HIP-HOP PLAYING ON STEREO)
474
00:26:45,734 --> 00:26:48,070
(GROANS)
What is it, asshole day?
475
00:26:48,946 --> 00:26:51,198
- Do you mind?
- Not at all.
476
00:27:01,166 --> 00:27:02,251
(LAUGHING)
477
00:27:02,292 --> 00:27:03,752
You bitch!
478
00:27:04,878 --> 00:27:06,463
(CHUCKLES)
479
00:27:07,715 --> 00:27:08,799
Whoops.
480
00:27:09,133 --> 00:27:10,592
"Whoops"?
481
00:27:11,635 --> 00:27:14,263
My insurance does not cover PMS!
482
00:27:15,264 --> 00:27:18,434
(SIGHS)
Well, then tell them I had a seizure.
483
00:27:19,184 --> 00:27:20,269
Is this about Sarah Lawrence?
484
00:27:20,310 --> 00:27:22,479
Are you punishing me because
I want you to stay close to home?
485
00:27:22,521 --> 00:27:24,606
Aren't you punishing me
because Mom left?
486
00:27:25,274 --> 00:27:27,276
You think you could
leave her out of this?
487
00:27:27,317 --> 00:27:29,445
Fine.
Then stop making my decisions for me.
488
00:27:29,486 --> 00:27:31,447
I'm your father. That's my right.
489
00:27:31,488 --> 00:27:33,365
So what I want doesn't matter.
490
00:27:34,116 --> 00:27:35,451
You're 18.
You don't know what you want.
491
00:27:35,492 --> 00:27:37,786
And you won't know
what you want till you're 45,
492
00:27:37,828 --> 00:27:40,205
and even if you get it,
you'll be too old to use it.
493
00:27:40,247 --> 00:27:42,124
I want to go to an East Coast school!
494
00:27:42,166 --> 00:27:43,792
I want you to trust me
to make my own choices,
495
00:27:43,834 --> 00:27:45,627
and I want you to stop trying
to control my life
496
00:27:45,669 --> 00:27:48,297
just because you can't control yours!
497
00:27:48,547 --> 00:27:49,882
Yeah? Well, you know what I want?
498
00:27:49,923 --> 00:27:51,300
(PAGER BEEPING)
499
00:27:51,342 --> 00:27:52,551
(GROANS)
500
00:27:53,677 --> 00:27:54,970
We'll continue this later.
501
00:27:55,012 --> 00:27:56,430
Can't wait.
502
00:27:58,891 --> 00:28:00,976
Did you just maim Joey's car?
503
00:28:01,101 --> 00:28:03,187
Yeah. Looks like you're gonna
have to take the bus.
504
00:28:03,228 --> 00:28:05,272
Has the fact
that you're completely psycho
505
00:28:05,314 --> 00:28:07,191
managed to escape your attention?
506
00:28:08,942 --> 00:28:10,194
Daddy!
507
00:28:15,407 --> 00:28:19,370
- When I shell out 50, I expect results.
- Yeah, I'm on it.
508
00:28:19,578 --> 00:28:22,998
Watching that bitch violate my car
doesn't count as a date.
509
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,043
Now, if you don't get any,
I don't get any.
510
00:28:26,835 --> 00:28:28,462
So get some.
511
00:28:29,713 --> 00:28:31,507
I just upped my price.
512
00:28:32,132 --> 00:28:34,843
- What?
- Hundred bucks a date.
513
00:28:35,636 --> 00:28:38,764
- In advance.
- (SCOFFS) Forget it.
514
00:28:38,972 --> 00:28:41,266
Well, forget her sister, then.
515
00:28:45,604 --> 00:28:48,565
You better hope you're as smooth
as you think you are, Verona.
516
00:29:01,078 --> 00:29:02,538
- Go.
- No, you go.
517
00:29:02,579 --> 00:29:04,164
I went before.
518
00:29:12,798 --> 00:29:15,718
We know what you're trying to do
with Kat Stratford.
519
00:29:15,759 --> 00:29:18,887
Is that right?
What do you plan to do about it?
520
00:29:18,929 --> 00:29:21,223
- Help you out.
- Why's that?
521
00:29:22,016 --> 00:29:24,101
(STAMMERING)
The situation is,
522
00:29:24,435 --> 00:29:28,439
my man Cameron here
has a major jones for Bianca Stratford.
523
00:29:29,690 --> 00:29:31,859
What is it with this chick?
She have beer-flavoured nipples?
524
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:35,529
- Hey!
- I, uh... I think I speak correctly
525
00:29:35,571 --> 00:29:38,240
when I say that Cameron's love is pure,
526
00:29:38,282 --> 00:29:40,159
purer than, say, Joey Donner's.
527
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,494
I'm in this for the cash.
Donner can plow whoever he wants.
528
00:29:42,536 --> 00:29:44,913
Okay, there will be no plowing.
529
00:29:45,539 --> 00:29:47,583
Patrick, uh... Pat...
530
00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:50,252
Let me explain something to you here.
531
00:29:50,336 --> 00:29:54,256
We set this whole thing up
so Cameron can get the girl. Cameron.
532
00:29:54,298 --> 00:29:56,133
Joey's just a pawn.
533
00:29:59,553 --> 00:30:01,430
So, you two are gonna
help me tame the wild beast.
534
00:30:01,472 --> 00:30:02,639
Absolutely.
535
00:30:02,681 --> 00:30:05,726
We'll do some research,
we'll find out what she likes.
536
00:30:05,768 --> 00:30:07,478
We're your guys.
537
00:30:07,519 --> 00:30:11,774
And he means that in
a strictly non-prison movie type of way.
538
00:30:12,691 --> 00:30:14,860
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, let's start here.
539
00:30:14,902 --> 00:30:18,614
Now, Friday night,
Bogey Lowenstein is having a party.
540
00:30:18,656 --> 00:30:20,658
It's the perfect opportunity.
541
00:30:20,866 --> 00:30:24,578
- Perfect opportunity for what?
- For you to take out Kat.
542
00:30:26,580 --> 00:30:28,290
I'll think about it.
543
00:30:29,583 --> 00:30:32,294
And for a little payback.
544
00:30:32,670 --> 00:30:35,089
This is gonna be some party.
545
00:30:44,390 --> 00:30:45,933
Let's do this.
546
00:30:52,606 --> 00:30:55,484
(SINGING)
Sexy boy
547
00:31:01,115 --> 00:31:03,909
Sexy boy
548
00:31:06,787 --> 00:31:09,331
Now, this is really important, okay?
549
00:31:09,748 --> 00:31:11,959
Which one do you like better?
550
00:31:14,586 --> 00:31:18,966
Hmm. I think I like the white shirt better.
551
00:31:19,842 --> 00:31:22,428
- Yeah, it's... It's more...
- Pensive?
552
00:31:23,762 --> 00:31:26,265
Damn. I was going for thoughtful.
553
00:31:26,473 --> 00:31:29,393
So, are you going to Bogey Lowenbrau's
thing on Friday night?
554
00:31:29,601 --> 00:31:31,311
Yeah, I might.
555
00:31:31,353 --> 00:31:35,482
Good, 'cause you know, I'm not
gonna bother if you won't be there.
556
00:31:36,650 --> 00:31:38,610
(BELL RINGING)
557
00:31:38,652 --> 00:31:40,070
See you there.
558
00:31:40,112 --> 00:31:41,822
- Okay.
- All right.
559
00:31:43,991 --> 00:31:46,535
Sexy boy
560
00:31:58,422 --> 00:32:01,550
CAMERON: So, have you heard
about Bogey Lowenstein's party?
561
00:32:01,592 --> 00:32:05,596
Yes, and I really, really,
really want to go.
562
00:32:05,679 --> 00:32:09,308
But you know I can't.
Not unless my sister does.
563
00:32:09,350 --> 00:32:11,810
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on that, but so far,
564
00:32:11,852 --> 00:32:14,438
you know, she's not going for my guy.
565
00:32:14,688 --> 00:32:17,983
- She's not a...
- K.D. Lang fan? No.
566
00:32:18,067 --> 00:32:20,611
I found a picture of Jared Leto
in her drawer once,
567
00:32:20,652 --> 00:32:23,781
so I'm pretty sure she's not
harbouring same-sex tendencies.
568
00:32:23,989 --> 00:32:28,035
Okay, so that's the kind of guys
she likes... Like, pretty guys.
569
00:32:28,077 --> 00:32:29,745
I don't know. All I've ever heard her say
570
00:32:29,787 --> 00:32:33,040
is that she'd die
before dating a guy that smokes.
571
00:32:33,207 --> 00:32:35,292
Okay, all right, no smoking. What else?
572
00:32:35,334 --> 00:32:37,294
You're asking me
to investigate the inner workings
573
00:32:37,336 --> 00:32:39,254
of my sister's twisted mind?
574
00:32:39,296 --> 00:32:41,298
I don't think so.
575
00:32:41,965 --> 00:32:43,092
Well, nothing else has worked.
576
00:32:43,133 --> 00:32:45,928
We need to go
behind enemy lines here.
577
00:32:50,683 --> 00:32:52,309
Okay, here we go.
578
00:32:53,644 --> 00:32:55,729
Class schedule, reading list,
579
00:32:55,771 --> 00:32:59,358
date book, concert tickets,
concert tickets.
580
00:33:03,153 --> 00:33:05,990
Aha! Black panties!
581
00:33:07,199 --> 00:33:09,201
What does that tell us?
582
00:33:09,451 --> 00:33:11,787
She wants to have sex someday,
that's what.
583
00:33:11,829 --> 00:33:13,956
You... She could just like the colour.
584
00:33:14,248 --> 00:33:17,292
You don't buy black lingerie
unless you want someone to see it.
585
00:33:18,252 --> 00:33:19,670
Oh.
586
00:33:19,712 --> 00:33:23,757
So, uh... Can I see your room?
587
00:33:25,217 --> 00:33:26,301
No.
588
00:33:29,888 --> 00:33:32,307
A girl's room is very personal.
589
00:33:33,475 --> 00:33:34,810
Oh, okay.
590
00:33:35,602 --> 00:33:36,979
(CLEARS THROAT)
591
00:33:38,897 --> 00:33:42,067
(BEEPING HORN)
592
00:33:46,405 --> 00:33:48,782
- Nice bike.
- Yeah, you think so?
593
00:34:03,672 --> 00:34:06,133
Wow. Is this what a bar looks like?
594
00:34:07,801 --> 00:34:10,846
Don't touch anything.
You may get hepatitis.
595
00:34:22,691 --> 00:34:23,776
So, what have you got for me?
596
00:34:23,817 --> 00:34:27,446
A little insight
into a very complicated girl.
597
00:34:28,238 --> 00:34:31,116
Excuse me.
Just one question before we start.
598
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,203
Should you be drinking alcohol
when you don't have a liver?
599
00:34:34,244 --> 00:34:36,288
- What?
- Nothing. Nothing.
600
00:34:37,998 --> 00:34:42,044
All right, first thing. Kat hates smokers.
601
00:34:45,172 --> 00:34:48,717
So, you're telling me I'm a non-smoker.
602
00:34:48,759 --> 00:34:53,180
- Yes. Well, just for now.
- And here's another problem.
603
00:34:53,222 --> 00:34:56,934
Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.
604
00:35:04,483 --> 00:35:07,903
- Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
- He's very pretty!
605
00:35:07,945 --> 00:35:11,740
- This is a gorgeous guy.
- I just wasn't sure. I didn't know.
606
00:35:14,118 --> 00:35:16,870
All right. Uh, yeah, okay. Here's this.
607
00:35:17,454 --> 00:35:18,914
(CLEARS THROAT)
608
00:35:18,956 --> 00:35:20,249
"Likes.
609
00:35:20,582 --> 00:35:24,712
"Thai food, feminist prose
and angry girl music
610
00:35:24,753 --> 00:35:27,131
"of the indie rock persuasion."
611
00:35:27,172 --> 00:35:29,758
Here's a list of CDs
she has in her room.
612
00:35:32,553 --> 00:35:34,471
So, I'm supposed to buy her
some noodles and a book
613
00:35:34,513 --> 00:35:37,307
and sit around listening to chicks
who can't play their instruments, right?
614
00:35:37,349 --> 00:35:39,476
Have you ever been to Club Skunk?
615
00:35:40,060 --> 00:35:42,771
CAMERON: Her favourite band's
playing there tomorrow night.
616
00:35:42,813 --> 00:35:45,107
I can't be seen at Club Skunk, all right?
617
00:35:45,149 --> 00:35:46,942
But she'll be there. She's got tickets.
618
00:35:46,984 --> 00:35:49,111
Assail your ears for one night.
619
00:35:52,323 --> 00:35:55,034
She has a pair of black underwear.
620
00:35:55,451 --> 00:35:57,286
CAMERON: If that helps.
621
00:35:57,786 --> 00:35:59,121
Couldn't hurt, right?
622
00:35:59,163 --> 00:36:00,539
(CHUCKLES)
623
00:36:00,914 --> 00:36:03,167
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
624
00:36:15,429 --> 00:36:18,766
WOMAN: (SINGING)
You can talk
625
00:36:19,058 --> 00:36:22,603
You can talk about it
626
00:36:22,686 --> 00:36:25,981
If I'm wrong
627
00:36:26,273 --> 00:36:29,818
If I'm wrong
I'll take the blame
628
00:36:29,860 --> 00:36:33,072
You can talk
629
00:36:33,447 --> 00:36:36,950
As the hours slip away
630
00:36:36,992 --> 00:36:40,329
As my own
631
00:36:40,579 --> 00:36:44,708
I can call another day
632
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,504
Come on, come on
633
00:36:48,545 --> 00:36:51,465
To my embrace
634
00:36:51,507 --> 00:36:55,552
How you sleep so easy
635
00:36:55,594 --> 00:36:59,139
Is a mystery
636
00:37:00,265 --> 00:37:03,686
I've got my ear
637
00:37:03,727 --> 00:37:07,523
Pressed to the glass
Pressed to the wall
638
00:37:07,564 --> 00:37:10,693
By the way
639
00:37:10,818 --> 00:37:14,196
It's your second face
I didn't see
640
00:37:14,488 --> 00:37:16,865
About what I heard
641
00:37:16,949 --> 00:37:19,034
Verona! What are you doing here?
642
00:37:19,076 --> 00:37:20,285
(MUSIC CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
643
00:37:20,327 --> 00:37:21,787
I need agua!
644
00:37:22,037 --> 00:37:26,750
(SINGING)
All the things I didn't know about you
645
00:37:26,792 --> 00:37:27,918
So won't you come on, come on
646
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,586
Two waters.
647
00:37:30,087 --> 00:37:35,217
Come on to my embrace
648
00:37:37,511 --> 00:37:40,347
If you're planning on asking me out,
you might as well just get it over with.
649
00:37:40,389 --> 00:37:43,475
Do you mind?
You're kind of ruining this for me.
650
00:37:43,934 --> 00:37:46,186
You're not surrounded by
your usual cloud of smoke.
651
00:37:46,228 --> 00:37:49,106
I know. I quit.
Apparently they're bad for you.
652
00:37:49,273 --> 00:37:50,691
You think?
653
00:37:52,484 --> 00:37:55,738
You know, these guys
are no Bikini Kill or the Raincoats.
654
00:37:55,779 --> 00:37:57,823
But they're not bad.
655
00:38:01,618 --> 00:38:04,830
- You know who the Raincoats are?
- Why, don't you?
656
00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:10,085
I was watching you out there before.
I've never seen you look so sexy.
657
00:38:10,127 --> 00:38:11,253
(MUSIC STOPS)
658
00:38:11,295 --> 00:38:12,755
(LAUGHING)
659
00:38:20,387 --> 00:38:24,099
- Come to Bogey's party with me.
- You never give up, do you?
660
00:38:24,141 --> 00:38:26,602
(BAND STARTS)
661
00:38:26,643 --> 00:38:27,895
Was that a yes?
662
00:38:27,936 --> 00:38:31,273
- No.
- Well, then, was that a no?
663
00:38:31,315 --> 00:38:34,443
- No.
- I'll see you at 9:30 then!
664
00:38:45,496 --> 00:38:47,539
Should have used the window.
665
00:38:48,415 --> 00:38:50,125
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi.
666
00:38:51,710 --> 00:38:53,420
Where are we going?
667
00:38:53,462 --> 00:38:56,465
Well, if you must know,
a small study group of friends.
668
00:38:57,091 --> 00:38:59,301
Otherwise known as an orgy?
669
00:38:59,551 --> 00:39:01,637
Mr Stratford, it's just a party.
670
00:39:01,679 --> 00:39:03,764
And hell is just a sauna.
671
00:39:04,765 --> 00:39:07,142
Do you know anything about a party?
672
00:39:07,267 --> 00:39:10,771
- People expect me to be there.
- Kat's not going, you're not going.
673
00:39:11,105 --> 00:39:13,482
Why can't you be normal?
674
00:39:13,524 --> 00:39:16,318
- Define "normal."
- Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal.
675
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,988
- What's a Bogey Lowenstein?
- Bogey's party is just a lame excuse
676
00:39:19,029 --> 00:39:20,781
for all the idiots at our school
to drink beer
677
00:39:20,823 --> 00:39:22,241
and rub up against each other
678
00:39:22,282 --> 00:39:24,451
in hopes of distracting themselves
from the pathetic emptiness
679
00:39:24,493 --> 00:39:25,619
of their meaningless...
680
00:39:25,661 --> 00:39:28,080
TOGETHER: Meaningless,
consumer-driven lives.
681
00:39:28,122 --> 00:39:29,707
(CHUCKLES)
682
00:39:29,748 --> 00:39:31,208
Can you, for just one night,
683
00:39:31,250 --> 00:39:34,253
forget that you're completely wretched
and be my sister?
684
00:39:34,962 --> 00:39:36,171
Please?
685
00:39:37,923 --> 00:39:39,174
Please?
686
00:39:40,551 --> 00:39:44,263
(SIGHS) Come on, Kat.
Please do this for me.
687
00:39:47,307 --> 00:39:49,226
Fine. I'll make an appearance.
688
00:39:50,644 --> 00:39:52,563
(SHRIEKING)
689
00:39:55,107 --> 00:39:57,943
- It's starting.
- It's just a party, Daddy.
690
00:40:00,988 --> 00:40:02,072
I want you to wear the belly.
691
00:40:02,114 --> 00:40:03,574
(GASPS)
692
00:40:03,615 --> 00:40:05,034
Daddy, no.
693
00:40:05,617 --> 00:40:07,161
Not all night.
694
00:40:07,202 --> 00:40:10,122
Just around the living room for a minute
so you can understand
695
00:40:10,164 --> 00:40:12,833
the full weight of your decisions.
696
00:40:14,835 --> 00:40:17,004
- I am perfectly aware...
- Listen to me.
697
00:40:17,087 --> 00:40:19,465
Every time you even think
about kissing a boy,
698
00:40:19,506 --> 00:40:22,259
I want you to picture wearing this
under your halter top.
699
00:40:22,301 --> 00:40:23,385
You are so completely unbalanced.
700
00:40:23,427 --> 00:40:24,511
(GROANS)
701
00:40:24,553 --> 00:40:27,431
- We're going now.
- All right, wait a minute.
702
00:40:27,681 --> 00:40:29,641
No drinking, no drugs, no kissing,
703
00:40:29,683 --> 00:40:33,937
no tattoos, no piercings,
no ritual animal slaughters of any kind.
704
00:40:34,229 --> 00:40:35,731
Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas.
705
00:40:36,357 --> 00:40:37,524
(SIGHS) Daddy!
706
00:40:38,984 --> 00:40:41,570
- What are you doing here?
- 9:30, right?
707
00:40:41,695 --> 00:40:45,074
- Oh, I'm early.
- Whatever. I'm driving.
708
00:40:46,241 --> 00:40:48,243
Who knocked up your sister?
709
00:40:51,372 --> 00:40:53,791
So then, Bianca says that I was right,
710
00:40:53,832 --> 00:40:56,543
that she didn't wear the Kenneth Coles
with that dress
711
00:40:56,585 --> 00:41:00,255
because she thought that it was,
uh, mixing genres, right?
712
00:41:00,381 --> 00:41:03,926
And the fact that I noticed,
and this is a direct quote, listen,
713
00:41:04,218 --> 00:41:06,595
"Really meant something."
714
00:41:06,637 --> 00:41:09,264
You told me that part already.
715
00:41:09,348 --> 00:41:10,891
I've been thinking about her
all the time.
716
00:41:10,933 --> 00:41:15,521
Stop being so self-involved
for one minute. How do I look?
717
00:41:16,355 --> 00:41:19,024
You look like my Great Uncle Milton.
718
00:41:19,233 --> 00:41:21,485
- You think I should lose the tie?
- Yeah.
719
00:41:21,527 --> 00:41:24,154
Maybe you're right. I'm just so nervous.
720
00:41:24,196 --> 00:41:27,116
And I'm also very excited.
I'm nervous, I'm excited.
721
00:41:27,241 --> 00:41:29,076
It's all very mixed up.
I don't know what to do!
722
00:41:29,118 --> 00:41:31,870
All right, just calm down, all right? Shh.
723
00:41:32,246 --> 00:41:35,207
The last party I went to
was at Chuck E. Cheese.
724
00:41:35,791 --> 00:41:39,169
You want to talk about some fun.
That's a good time.
725
00:42:02,943 --> 00:42:04,987
Now, remember, guys.
Don't touch anything.
726
00:42:05,029 --> 00:42:06,322
(CHUCKLES)
727
00:42:06,864 --> 00:42:10,159
Oop! What did I tell you?
728
00:42:11,035 --> 00:42:12,161
(DOORBELL RINGING)
729
00:42:12,202 --> 00:42:14,955
Oh. Must be Nigel with the Brie.
730
00:42:16,457 --> 00:42:17,666
(KICKING DOOR)
731
00:42:17,708 --> 00:42:21,378
(GROUP CHEERING)
732
00:42:25,632 --> 00:42:29,178
(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)
733
00:42:41,815 --> 00:42:44,985
You know, I'm...
I'm thinking of getting a Tercel.
734
00:42:46,111 --> 00:42:48,072
Yeah, that's a Toyota.
735
00:42:49,823 --> 00:42:53,369
It has dual side air bags
and a spacious back seat.
736
00:43:00,125 --> 00:43:02,461
- Kiss me!
- Kiss him.
737
00:43:02,503 --> 00:43:03,962
- Okay.
- Good.
738
00:43:08,092 --> 00:43:09,218
Hey, thanks, man!
739
00:43:09,259 --> 00:43:10,636
(BODY THUDS)
740
00:43:13,222 --> 00:43:14,556
Sweet.
741
00:43:15,557 --> 00:43:17,976
Looking fresh tonight, pussycat.
742
00:43:18,519 --> 00:43:21,772
Wait. Was that...
Did your hairline just recede?
743
00:43:22,815 --> 00:43:25,025
- Hey, where are you goin'?
- Away.
744
00:43:25,776 --> 00:43:28,070
- Your sister here?
- Stay away from my sister.
745
00:43:28,112 --> 00:43:30,781
Oh, I'll stay away from your sister.
746
00:43:30,864 --> 00:43:33,242
But I can't guarantee
she'll stay away from me.
747
00:43:33,701 --> 00:43:37,579
- Fight!
- Ooh, fight!
748
00:43:37,663 --> 00:43:39,081
(CHEERING)
749
00:43:39,123 --> 00:43:40,874
(HOOTING)
750
00:43:45,212 --> 00:43:47,131
You guys, please! Take it outside!
751
00:43:49,383 --> 00:43:51,885
(GROUP GASPING)
752
00:43:53,137 --> 00:43:54,638
Thank you!
753
00:43:57,016 --> 00:43:59,768
Hey, Kat. Look who found me.
754
00:44:01,228 --> 00:44:04,356
- Bianca, wait.
- Please do not address me in public.
755
00:44:04,523 --> 00:44:05,774
No, there's something I need to tell you.
756
00:44:05,816 --> 00:44:10,195
I am busy enjoying my adolescence,
so scamper off and do the same.
757
00:44:10,237 --> 00:44:11,447
Bu-bye.
758
00:44:14,950 --> 00:44:16,243
Want one?
759
00:44:17,119 --> 00:44:19,538
- What is this?
- Right on, sister!
760
00:44:19,747 --> 00:44:20,831
(COUGHS)
761
00:44:20,873 --> 00:44:22,958
I've been looking
all over the place for you.
762
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,753
I'm getting trashed, man. Isn't that
what you're supposed to do at a party?
763
00:44:25,794 --> 00:44:28,130
I don't know.
I say do what you want to do.
764
00:44:28,172 --> 00:44:30,215
Funny. You're the only one.
765
00:44:30,549 --> 00:44:31,800
Later.
766
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,066
Lord of the dance! Hi, Heather.
767
00:44:47,107 --> 00:44:49,985
- Bite me.
- (CHUCKLES) Should've kept the tie.
768
00:44:50,110 --> 00:44:53,030
Hey. Hey, have you seen her
around anywhere?
769
00:44:53,197 --> 00:44:55,199
- Relax.
- Relax? I'm fine.
770
00:44:56,408 --> 00:44:57,951
Follow the love.
771
00:45:00,996 --> 00:45:02,414
Hi, Bianca.
772
00:45:03,332 --> 00:45:05,000
Oh, hi, Cameron.
773
00:45:07,002 --> 00:45:09,004
Um, you know Chastity?
774
00:45:09,797 --> 00:45:13,634
Uh, yeah. I think, uh,
we have art together, right?
775
00:45:13,717 --> 00:45:14,885
Neat.
776
00:45:16,804 --> 00:45:18,847
So, um, you...
777
00:45:19,473 --> 00:45:21,475
You really look amazing.
778
00:45:22,810 --> 00:45:25,688
- Thanks.
- And we all know I look amazing.
779
00:45:25,729 --> 00:45:26,855
(BOTH LAUGHING)
780
00:45:27,314 --> 00:45:28,399
Yeah.
781
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:32,277
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr Cuervo.
782
00:45:32,319 --> 00:45:34,697
Um, I'll see you around, okay?
783
00:45:46,875 --> 00:45:48,002
(GIGGLING)
784
00:45:48,043 --> 00:45:49,795
So, I've got
the Sears catalogue thing going,
785
00:45:49,837 --> 00:45:53,132
and the tube sock gig,
that is gonna be huge.
786
00:45:53,173 --> 00:45:54,383
(SCREAMS)
787
00:45:54,425 --> 00:45:55,968
(CROWD GASPING)
788
00:45:56,010 --> 00:45:58,387
And I'm up for
a haemorrhoid cream ad next week.
789
00:45:58,429 --> 00:46:00,723
I know it sounds kind of bogus, but...
790
00:46:01,015 --> 00:46:03,058
I get to do some acting.
791
00:46:11,608 --> 00:46:14,570
- You see what I did there?
- Uh-huh.
792
00:46:14,862 --> 00:46:18,115
That was underwear. I'll show you
the bathing suit one again.
793
00:46:21,035 --> 00:46:22,995
You see the difference?
794
00:46:24,621 --> 00:46:26,582
All right, I'll show you guys.
795
00:46:33,255 --> 00:46:35,424
Ohhh!
796
00:46:39,928 --> 00:46:44,725
(SINGING)
Friends tell me I'm crazy
797
00:46:46,268 --> 00:46:49,104
That I'm wasting time with you
798
00:46:52,316 --> 00:46:54,777
You'll never be mine
799
00:46:57,404 --> 00:47:00,115
Is it me, or does this party
all of a sudden suck?
800
00:47:06,872 --> 00:47:09,041
Really, really,
801
00:47:09,124 --> 00:47:10,542
thank you!
802
00:47:11,418 --> 00:47:14,004
Hey. Hey, Kat, why don't you
let me have this one, huh?
803
00:47:14,046 --> 00:47:15,881
No! This one's mine.
804
00:47:16,965 --> 00:47:19,968
My man! How did you get her to do it?
805
00:47:20,010 --> 00:47:21,762
- Do what?
- Act like a human.
806
00:47:21,804 --> 00:47:24,139
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
807
00:47:24,181 --> 00:47:25,808
Yeah! All right!
808
00:47:26,558 --> 00:47:27,643
Go!
809
00:47:32,356 --> 00:47:33,816
See this?
810
00:47:41,949 --> 00:47:43,117
Whoo!
811
00:47:59,717 --> 00:48:01,802
(HEAD HITTING CHANDELIER)
812
00:48:06,015 --> 00:48:08,058
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
813
00:48:10,978 --> 00:48:13,022
You're not fine. Come on.
814
00:48:14,732 --> 00:48:16,025
I just need to lie down.
815
00:48:16,066 --> 00:48:18,402
Uh-huh.
You lie down and you'll go to sleep.
816
00:48:18,444 --> 00:48:21,155
- Sleep is good.
- Not if you have a concussion.
817
00:48:21,322 --> 00:48:23,282
Come on. Here, sit down.
818
00:48:24,616 --> 00:48:27,202
- Sit.
- Hey, hey, we need to talk.
819
00:48:27,244 --> 00:48:30,205
- I'm a little busy right now.
- Can you give me a second?
820
00:48:35,085 --> 00:48:37,338
- What?
- It's off, okay? The whole thing's off.
821
00:48:37,379 --> 00:48:38,672
What are you talking about?
822
00:48:38,714 --> 00:48:40,007
(SIGHS)
823
00:48:40,174 --> 00:48:43,135
She never wanted me.
She wanted Joey the whole time.
824
00:48:43,302 --> 00:48:45,512
Cameron, do you like the girl?
825
00:48:45,929 --> 00:48:48,849
- Yeah.
- And is she worth all this trouble?
826
00:48:49,391 --> 00:48:50,893
I thought she was, but, you know, I...
827
00:48:50,934 --> 00:48:52,895
Well, she is or she isn't.
828
00:48:52,936 --> 00:48:55,564
See, first of all,
Joey is not half the man you are.
829
00:48:55,606 --> 00:48:57,566
Secondly, don't let anyone
ever make you feel
830
00:48:57,608 --> 00:49:00,277
like you don't deserve what you want.
831
00:49:00,778 --> 00:49:02,196
Go for it!
832
00:49:03,405 --> 00:49:05,741
(SOFTLY WHIMPERING)
833
00:49:06,116 --> 00:49:07,701
- Come on.
- Why?
834
00:49:09,536 --> 00:49:10,788
(CHUCKLES)
835
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:18,420
(SIGHS)
836
00:49:18,462 --> 00:49:19,672
This is so patronising.
837
00:49:19,713 --> 00:49:22,341
(GROANS) Leave it to you to use
big words when you're smashed.
838
00:49:22,383 --> 00:49:25,427
- (CHUCKLES) I don't think so.
- Kat.
839
00:49:27,221 --> 00:49:30,349
- Why are you doing this?
- I told you. You may have a concussion.
840
00:49:30,391 --> 00:49:31,975
You don't care if I never wake up.
841
00:49:32,017 --> 00:49:34,103
- Sure I do.
- Why?
842
00:49:34,311 --> 00:49:37,272
Because then I'd have to start
taking out girls who actually like me.
843
00:49:37,314 --> 00:49:39,483
- Like you could find one.
- Oh, see? That, there.
844
00:49:39,525 --> 00:49:41,652
Who needs affection
when I have blind hatred?
845
00:49:41,694 --> 00:49:45,197
- I just... Let me sit down for a while.
- All right. There.
846
00:49:50,577 --> 00:49:53,330
- (GASPS) Geez!
- Whoo!
847
00:49:53,372 --> 00:49:54,456
(CHUCKLES)
848
00:50:00,587 --> 00:50:02,715
- So, why'd you let him get to you?
- Who?
849
00:50:02,756 --> 00:50:05,009
- Joey.
- I hate him.
850
00:50:07,094 --> 00:50:10,764
Well, you've chosen the perfect
revenge, mainlining tequila.
851
00:50:12,099 --> 00:50:15,602
- Well, you know what they say.
- Nope. What do they say?
852
00:50:16,770 --> 00:50:19,857
No, no, no, no. Kat, come on, wake up!
Look at me!
853
00:50:20,524 --> 00:50:22,776
Listen to me, Kat! Open your eyes!
854
00:50:24,570 --> 00:50:25,904
(PANTING)
855
00:50:28,991 --> 00:50:30,159
Hey.
856
00:50:31,118 --> 00:50:33,329
Your eyes have a little green in them.
857
00:50:34,121 --> 00:50:35,581
(CHUCKLES)
858
00:50:38,208 --> 00:50:40,210
(VOMITING)
859
00:50:40,794 --> 00:50:43,672
(COUGHING)
860
00:50:48,344 --> 00:50:50,220
(COUGHING CONTINUES)
861
00:50:51,305 --> 00:50:52,765
I don't know if we should go.
862
00:50:52,806 --> 00:50:55,768
Hey, a bunch of us
are going to Jarrett's. Ready?
863
00:50:55,809 --> 00:50:58,354
Um, I have to be home in 20 minutes.
864
00:50:58,479 --> 00:51:01,774
Well, you know I don't have to be home
till 2:00, so...
865
00:51:02,066 --> 00:51:05,819
- One more chance.
- Aw, man, I can't.
866
00:51:05,986 --> 00:51:08,072
- Damn.
- That's a shame.
867
00:51:09,406 --> 00:51:11,367
- You wanna go?
- Sure.
868
00:51:11,408 --> 00:51:13,535
- Chastity!
- Hey, you passed.
869
00:51:14,578 --> 00:51:15,829
Bitch.
870
00:51:20,376 --> 00:51:22,920
- Hey. Have fun tonight?
- Tons.
871
00:51:23,921 --> 00:51:26,173
Hey, Cameron? Um...
872
00:51:27,508 --> 00:51:30,135
Do you think you could
give me a ride home?
873
00:51:32,721 --> 00:51:33,931
(CRUEL TO BE KIND PLAYING)
874
00:51:33,972 --> 00:51:35,432
I should do this.
875
00:51:35,724 --> 00:51:37,518
- Do what?
- This!
876
00:51:38,686 --> 00:51:41,563
- Start a band?
- No, install car stereos.
877
00:51:41,689 --> 00:51:45,234
Yeah, start a band.
My father would love that.
878
00:51:46,694 --> 00:51:49,154
(SINGING)
I pick myself up off the ground
879
00:51:49,196 --> 00:51:51,949
To have you knock me back down
880
00:51:52,199 --> 00:51:54,076
Again and again
881
00:51:54,118 --> 00:51:57,454
And when I ask you to explain
882
00:51:57,496 --> 00:51:58,580
(TURNS RADIO OFF)
883
00:51:58,622 --> 00:52:02,584
You don't strike me as the type that
would ask your father for permission.
884
00:52:02,626 --> 00:52:06,088
- Oh, so now you think you know me?
- I'm getting there.
885
00:52:06,130 --> 00:52:09,591
The only thing people know
about me is that I'm scary.
886
00:52:10,884 --> 00:52:13,595
Yeah, well, I'm no picnic myself.
887
00:52:20,227 --> 00:52:24,648
Uh, so what's up with your dad?
Is he... Is he a pain in the ass?
888
00:52:25,649 --> 00:52:28,068
No, he just wants me to be
somebody that I'm not.
889
00:52:28,110 --> 00:52:29,862
- Who?
- (MOCKINGLY) Bianca.
890
00:52:29,903 --> 00:52:31,280
Oh, Bianca.
891
00:52:35,159 --> 00:52:38,162
No offence or anything... I mean
I know everyone "digs" your sister,
892
00:52:38,203 --> 00:52:40,956
but, um, she's without.
893
00:52:48,422 --> 00:52:49,715
You know,
894
00:52:51,759 --> 00:52:54,553
you're not as vile as I thought you were.
895
00:53:05,147 --> 00:53:07,775
Maybe we should do this another time.
896
00:53:12,112 --> 00:53:13,489
(SCOFFS)
897
00:53:30,547 --> 00:53:32,341
(CAR RADIO PLAYING)
898
00:53:43,686 --> 00:53:45,020
(ENGINE AND RADIO STOP)
899
00:53:52,444 --> 00:53:55,572
You never wanted
to go sailing with me, did you?
900
00:53:57,032 --> 00:53:58,367
Yes, I did.
901
00:53:59,743 --> 00:54:01,245
No, you didn't.
902
00:54:02,955 --> 00:54:05,624
Okay, no, not actually...
903
00:54:05,666 --> 00:54:08,377
Well, then that's all you had to say.
904
00:54:10,587 --> 00:54:13,090
Have you always been this selfish?
905
00:54:16,176 --> 00:54:17,720
(SOFTLY) Yes.
906
00:54:21,473 --> 00:54:22,850
You know, just 'cause you're beautiful,
907
00:54:22,891 --> 00:54:26,937
that doesn't mean that you can
treat people like they don't matter.
908
00:54:27,313 --> 00:54:30,190
I mean, I really liked you, okay.
909
00:54:30,232 --> 00:54:33,110
I defended you
when people called you conceited,
910
00:54:33,152 --> 00:54:35,029
I helped you when you asked me to,
911
00:54:35,321 --> 00:54:39,533
I learnt French for you and then
you just blow me off so you could...
912
00:55:09,813 --> 00:55:11,940
And I'm back in the game!
913
00:55:15,361 --> 00:55:19,698
Kat, me lady.
You sway to the rhythm of me heart.
914
00:55:19,948 --> 00:55:21,700
Dance for me, cowgirl.
915
00:55:21,784 --> 00:55:24,578
Kat, babe, what do we owe you
for the table dance?
916
00:55:26,163 --> 00:55:28,666
All right, not that I give a damn,
but how was everybody's weekend?
917
00:55:28,707 --> 00:55:31,627
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe we should ask Kat.
918
00:55:32,086 --> 00:55:34,254
Unless she kicked the crap
out of your dumb butt,
919
00:55:34,296 --> 00:55:36,298
I don't wanna hear about it.
920
00:55:36,340 --> 00:55:41,136
Okay, let's open up our books
to page 73, Sonnet 141.
921
00:55:41,178 --> 00:55:42,680
And listen up.
922
00:55:42,721 --> 00:55:44,723
"In faith, I do not love thee
with mine eyes
923
00:55:44,765 --> 00:55:46,934
"For they in thee
a thousand errors note
924
00:55:46,975 --> 00:55:49,144
"But 'tis my heart that loves
what they despise
925
00:55:49,186 --> 00:55:52,064
"Who, in despite of view,
is pleas'd to dote"
926
00:55:53,649 --> 00:55:56,860
Now, I know Shakespeare's
a dead white guy,
927
00:55:56,902 --> 00:55:59,488
but he knows his shit,
so we can overlook that.
928
00:55:59,530 --> 00:56:02,324
I want you all to write
your own version of this sonnet.
929
00:56:02,366 --> 00:56:04,451
(CLASS GROANS)
930
00:56:04,702 --> 00:56:07,746
Yes, Miss l-Have-An-Opinion-
About-Everything?
931
00:56:07,913 --> 00:56:10,582
Do you want this in iambic pentameter?
932
00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:13,127
You're not gonna fight me on this?
933
00:56:13,168 --> 00:56:15,629
No, I think
it's a really good assignment.
934
00:56:15,671 --> 00:56:18,298
(CHUCKLES) You're just
messin' with me, aren't you?
935
00:56:18,340 --> 00:56:21,218
No, I'm really looking forward
to writing it.
936
00:56:21,260 --> 00:56:22,553
Get out of my class.
937
00:56:22,594 --> 00:56:24,972
- What?
- Out. Get out!
938
00:56:31,854 --> 00:56:34,231
- Thanks, Mr Morgan.
- Shut up.
939
00:56:47,745 --> 00:56:51,498
(SINGING)
I can't get enough of you, baby
940
00:56:51,540 --> 00:56:54,585
I can't get enough of you, baby
941
00:56:54,626 --> 00:56:56,378
Yes, it's true
942
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:00,799
Hey. Cool picture.
943
00:57:01,633 --> 00:57:04,094
What's that collar for? Is that
to keep him from licking his stitches?
944
00:57:04,136 --> 00:57:05,554
(LAUGHING)
945
00:57:08,140 --> 00:57:12,269
Kidding. No, because I know
you're a fan of Shakespeare.
946
00:57:12,311 --> 00:57:15,648
(SCOFFS) More than a fan.
We're involved.
947
00:57:16,565 --> 00:57:17,733
Okay.
948
00:57:19,401 --> 00:57:22,404
"Who could refrain
That had a heart to love
949
00:57:23,113 --> 00:57:26,700
- "and in that heart..."
- "Courage to make love known."
950
00:57:27,576 --> 00:57:30,037
- That's Macbeth, right?
- Right.
951
00:57:32,373 --> 00:57:35,376
So, listen, I... I have this friend,
952
00:57:36,377 --> 00:57:38,545
and he likes your friend...
953
00:57:39,004 --> 00:57:40,214
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
954
00:57:40,255 --> 00:57:41,715
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
955
00:57:45,761 --> 00:57:47,638
What did you do to her?
956
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:50,015
I didn't do anything. She would've been
too drunk to remember.
957
00:57:50,057 --> 00:57:51,892
But the plan was working.
958
00:57:51,934 --> 00:57:54,770
What do you care?
I thought you wanted out.
959
00:57:55,062 --> 00:57:57,564
Yeah, well, I did, but, uh,
960
00:57:57,606 --> 00:57:59,775
that was until she kissed me.
961
00:58:01,068 --> 00:58:03,237
- Where?
- In the car.
962
00:58:06,615 --> 00:58:07,741
Sorry.
963
00:58:07,783 --> 00:58:09,660
- Dweeb! Putz!
- I'm sorry.
964
00:58:09,702 --> 00:58:12,997
- All right, I talked to her. I got the scoop.
- What'd she say?
965
00:58:13,038 --> 00:58:15,541
"Hates him with the fire
of a thousand suns."
966
00:58:15,582 --> 00:58:17,459
That's a direct quote.
967
00:58:17,918 --> 00:58:20,754
Thanks, Michael.
That's very comforting of you.
968
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:25,050
We don't know.
She could need a day to cool off.
969
00:58:31,890 --> 00:58:33,308
Maybe two.
970
00:58:35,185 --> 00:58:38,939
(SINGING) Take time for your pleasure
and laugh with love
971
00:58:39,273 --> 00:58:43,152
Take the hand of another
and sing for the wings of a dove
972
00:58:43,193 --> 00:58:44,278
Hey!
973
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:48,157
Can you imagine who would go
to that antiquated mating ritual?
974
00:58:48,324 --> 00:58:50,534
I would, but I don't have a date.
975
00:58:51,076 --> 00:58:52,494
Do you really want
to get all dressed up,
976
00:58:52,536 --> 00:58:55,998
so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter
with a boner can feel you up
977
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:59,293
while you're forced to listen
to a band that by definition blows?
978
00:58:59,335 --> 00:59:01,295
All right, all right, we won't go.
979
00:59:01,337 --> 00:59:03,964
It's not like I've got a dress anyway.
980
00:59:04,381 --> 00:59:06,884
You're looking at this
from entirely the wrong perspective.
981
00:59:06,925 --> 00:59:08,469
We're making a statement.
982
00:59:08,510 --> 00:59:11,972
Oh, goody.
Something new and different for us.
983
00:59:12,514 --> 00:59:14,641
Whoa, whoa
984
00:59:14,767 --> 00:59:16,477
For the wings of a dove
985
00:59:16,518 --> 00:59:18,479
Whoa, whoa
986
00:59:18,896 --> 00:59:20,689
For the wings of a dove
987
00:59:20,731 --> 00:59:22,983
- Whoa, whoa
- Yeah, yeah, yeah
988
00:59:23,025 --> 00:59:24,818
For the wings of a dove
989
00:59:24,860 --> 00:59:26,945
Whoa, whoa
990
00:59:27,112 --> 00:59:29,156
For the wings of a dove
991
00:59:29,198 --> 00:59:32,701
- Hey there, Cupid.
- (EXASPERATED SIGH) Hi, Joey.
992
00:59:33,118 --> 00:59:36,497
You're concentrating awfully hard
considering it's gym class.
993
00:59:36,664 --> 00:59:37,790
(MAN YELPS)
994
00:59:37,831 --> 00:59:40,501
- Can I help you?
- I want to talk to you about prom.
995
00:59:40,542 --> 00:59:43,337
Ow! Ow-ooo!
996
00:59:46,131 --> 00:59:49,009
Look, you know the deal.
I can't go if Kat doesn't go.
997
00:59:49,176 --> 00:59:51,178
Your sister is going.
998
00:59:51,637 --> 00:59:55,808
- Since when?
- Let's just say I'm taking care of it.
999
01:00:01,397 --> 01:00:04,900
This should take care of the
flowers, the limo, the tux, everything.
1000
01:00:04,942 --> 01:00:07,444
Just make sure she gets to the prom.
1001
01:00:07,778 --> 01:00:10,990
Do you know what?
I'm sick of playing your little game.
1002
01:00:11,156 --> 01:00:13,033
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
1003
01:00:13,075 --> 01:00:16,537
You sick of, let's say, 300?
1004
01:00:35,514 --> 01:00:38,517
(SINGING)
I'm not the sort of person
1005
01:00:38,684 --> 01:00:40,602
Who falls
1006
01:00:41,353 --> 01:00:44,648
In and quickly out of love
1007
01:00:45,441 --> 01:00:49,653
But to you I gave my affection
1008
01:00:49,820 --> 01:00:52,948
Right from the start
1009
01:00:54,783 --> 01:00:57,244
I have a lover
1010
01:00:57,453 --> 01:01:00,039
Who loves me
1011
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:04,251
How could I break such a heart?
1012
01:01:04,543 --> 01:01:08,422
Yet still you get my attention
1013
01:01:12,718 --> 01:01:15,596
Why do you come here
1014
01:01:16,347 --> 01:01:19,808
When you know
I've got troubles enough?
1015
01:01:19,850 --> 01:01:23,187
Why do you call me
1016
01:01:23,395 --> 01:01:27,274
When you know
I can't answer the phone?
1017
01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:31,904
Make me lie and I don't want to
1018
01:01:31,945 --> 01:01:35,783
And make someone else
some kind of an unknowin' fool
1019
01:01:35,824 --> 01:01:38,160
(MUSIC FADES)
1020
01:01:39,161 --> 01:01:41,205
Excuse me. Have you
seen The Feminine Mystique?
1021
01:01:41,246 --> 01:01:42,414
I've lost my copy.
1022
01:01:42,456 --> 01:01:45,584
- What are you doing here?
- I heard there was a poetry reading.
1023
01:01:45,626 --> 01:01:47,586
- You're so...
- Charming.
1024
01:01:48,462 --> 01:01:50,297
Wholesome.
1025
01:01:50,339 --> 01:01:51,882
Unwelcome.
1026
01:01:54,593 --> 01:01:56,970
You're not as mean as you think
you are, you know that?
1027
01:01:57,012 --> 01:01:59,473
And you're not as badass
as you think you are.
1028
01:01:59,515 --> 01:02:01,892
Ooh, someone still has
her panties in a twist.
1029
01:02:01,934 --> 01:02:05,229
Don't for one minute think that you had
any effect whatsoever on my panties.
1030
01:02:05,270 --> 01:02:06,772
Then what did I have an effect on?
1031
01:02:06,814 --> 01:02:09,650
Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.
1032
01:02:22,121 --> 01:02:24,331
You're right, she's still pissed.
1033
01:02:24,373 --> 01:02:26,417
"Sweet love, renew thy force"
1034
01:02:26,458 --> 01:02:30,462
Hey! Don't say shit like that to me.
People can hear you.
1035
01:02:30,546 --> 01:02:32,464
Look, you embarrassed the girl.
1036
01:02:32,506 --> 01:02:36,176
Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity
and even the score.
1037
01:02:39,638 --> 01:02:42,516
Listen, don't say shit like that to him.
1038
01:02:42,808 --> 01:02:44,685
People can hear you.
1039
01:02:45,561 --> 01:02:50,607
(SINGING) There's a new kind of world
that's taking over
1040
01:02:50,649 --> 01:02:53,777
It's got devils
It's got angels
1041
01:02:53,819 --> 01:02:56,030
Sitting on my shoulders
1042
01:02:56,071 --> 01:03:00,868
There's a new kind of world
that's taking over
1043
01:03:05,789 --> 01:03:08,167
(MICROPHONE FEEDS BACK)
1044
01:03:15,132 --> 01:03:19,011
PATRICK: (SINGING)
You're just too good to be true
1045
01:03:19,053 --> 01:03:22,890
Can't take my eyes off of you
1046
01:03:22,931 --> 01:03:25,934
You'd be like heaven to touch
1047
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:29,521
I wanna hold you so much
1048
01:03:30,481 --> 01:03:33,776
At long last love has arrived
1049
01:03:34,485 --> 01:03:37,529
And I thank God I'm alive
1050
01:03:38,364 --> 01:03:41,325
You're just too good to be true
1051
01:03:42,117 --> 01:03:46,038
Can't take my eyes off of you
1052
01:03:46,121 --> 01:03:47,289
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
1053
01:03:47,331 --> 01:03:48,791
(PLAYING SONG)
1054
01:04:03,013 --> 01:04:05,724
I love you, baby
1055
01:04:05,766 --> 01:04:09,645
And if it's quite all right
I need you, baby
1056
01:04:09,687 --> 01:04:13,941
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby
1057
01:04:14,149 --> 01:04:18,404
Trust in me when I say
1058
01:04:18,445 --> 01:04:21,031
Oh, pretty baby
1059
01:04:21,073 --> 01:04:24,910
Don't bring me down, I pray
Oh, pretty baby
1060
01:04:24,952 --> 01:04:30,249
Now that I found you, stay
and let me love you, baby
1061
01:04:30,290 --> 01:04:35,129
Let me love you
1062
01:04:35,421 --> 01:04:36,714
(CONTINUES PLAYING)
1063
01:04:36,755 --> 01:04:38,132
(LAUGHS)
1064
01:05:11,165 --> 01:05:12,291
(GRIMACING SOFTLY)
1065
01:05:12,333 --> 01:05:13,542
(GIRL GIGGLES)
1066
01:05:20,674 --> 01:05:22,843
You look pretty nervous.
1067
01:05:23,677 --> 01:05:25,471
(TIMIDLY) Yes, sir.
1068
01:05:25,512 --> 01:05:27,640
You're sweating like a pig.
1069
01:05:28,432 --> 01:05:29,808
Yes, sir.
1070
01:05:29,850 --> 01:05:32,311
Your eyes are all bloodshot.
1071
01:05:33,854 --> 01:05:34,980
Yes, sir.
1072
01:05:35,022 --> 01:05:37,483
You've got pot, don't you?
1073
01:05:43,572 --> 01:05:45,616
I'm confiscating this.
1074
01:05:55,125 --> 01:05:57,002
This, too.
1075
01:06:01,256 --> 01:06:04,093
Mr Chapin, can I talk to you
for a second?
1076
01:06:04,134 --> 01:06:05,719
What can I do for you, Stratford?
1077
01:06:05,761 --> 01:06:08,764
I have some ideas on how
we can improve the girls' soccer team.
1078
01:06:08,806 --> 01:06:11,183
Great! Let's talk about it later.
1079
01:06:13,769 --> 01:06:15,729
(WHISPERING) The window.
1080
01:06:16,772 --> 01:06:18,190
The window.
1081
01:06:19,108 --> 01:06:20,442
(CHUCKLES)
1082
01:06:20,943 --> 01:06:23,028
As you know, we have
a really big game with Hillcrest High...
1083
01:06:23,070 --> 01:06:25,280
(GASPS)
Your bicep is huge!
1084
01:06:25,322 --> 01:06:28,033
Oh, my God.
The other one's even bigger.
1085
01:06:28,283 --> 01:06:30,703
You don't take steroids, do you,
because I've heard steroids
1086
01:06:30,744 --> 01:06:33,247
can severely disintegrate
your package?
1087
01:06:33,288 --> 01:06:34,415
(CLASS GROANS)
1088
01:06:34,456 --> 01:06:36,250
Not that I'm thinking about
your package.
1089
01:06:36,291 --> 01:06:38,377
- That's not the point.
- Let's hope not.
1090
01:06:38,419 --> 01:06:39,545
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)
1091
01:06:39,586 --> 01:06:42,297
The point is they kick our butts
every year.
1092
01:06:42,339 --> 01:06:46,969
I was thinking, I devised a plan that
will enable us to finally defeat them.
1093
01:06:47,052 --> 01:06:48,554
Which is?
1094
01:06:48,887 --> 01:06:51,390
- That thing that you taught us.
- What thing?
1095
01:06:52,182 --> 01:06:54,184
- Misdirection.
- I taught you that?
1096
01:06:54,226 --> 01:06:58,022
Yeah, you or Siegfried or Roy?
Anyway, that's not important.
1097
01:06:58,063 --> 01:06:59,189
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)
1098
01:06:59,231 --> 01:07:00,816
The... Think about it.
1099
01:07:00,858 --> 01:07:03,569
Um, they're looking left
and we're running right.
1100
01:07:03,610 --> 01:07:05,696
Bang, we score. We win.
1101
01:07:06,530 --> 01:07:08,574
Okay, but how do we get 'em
to look left?
1102
01:07:08,615 --> 01:07:09,700
(BANGING)
1103
01:07:09,742 --> 01:07:11,285
Um, like this.
1104
01:07:12,453 --> 01:07:14,163
(CLASS CHEERING)
1105
01:07:19,335 --> 01:07:21,754
Okay. Well,
1106
01:07:22,963 --> 01:07:25,424
now that you've seen "the plan,"
1107
01:07:25,632 --> 01:07:29,970
I'm gonna go and show "the plan"
to someone else.
1108
01:07:31,972 --> 01:07:33,140
Okay.
1109
01:07:33,891 --> 01:07:34,975
Hi.
1110
01:07:40,022 --> 01:07:42,274
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1111
01:07:43,692 --> 01:07:46,278
I can't thank you enough
for helping me sneak out of detention.
1112
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,238
- Very cool.
- No problem.
1113
01:07:48,405 --> 01:07:51,575
I thought for sure I was busted when I
was climbing out that window, I tell ya.
1114
01:07:51,617 --> 01:07:53,619
So, how did you keep him distracted?
1115
01:07:54,036 --> 01:07:56,830
I dazzled him with my wits.
1116
01:08:00,501 --> 01:08:02,920
- So, what's your excuse?
- For?
1117
01:08:03,253 --> 01:08:05,214
For acting the way we do?
1118
01:08:06,215 --> 01:08:08,550
I don't like to do what people expect.
1119
01:08:08,592 --> 01:08:11,804
Why should I live up to other people's
expectations instead of my own?
1120
01:08:11,845 --> 01:08:15,182
So, you disappoint 'em from the start
and then you're covered, right?
1121
01:08:16,433 --> 01:08:18,435
Something like that.
1122
01:08:19,770 --> 01:08:22,314
- Then you screwed up.
- How?
1123
01:08:24,024 --> 01:08:25,985
You never disappointed me.
1124
01:08:34,868 --> 01:08:36,495
Are you up for it?
1125
01:08:37,121 --> 01:08:38,622
Up for what?
1126
01:08:46,964 --> 01:08:48,340
(GROANS)
1127
01:08:50,676 --> 01:08:52,678
(SINGING)
Fascinating new thing
1128
01:08:53,095 --> 01:08:54,179
You delight me
1129
01:08:54,221 --> 01:08:55,347
(GROANS)
1130
01:08:55,389 --> 01:08:58,475
And I know you're speaking of me
1131
01:08:58,851 --> 01:09:00,311
(LAUGHING)
1132
01:09:00,352 --> 01:09:02,187
Fascinating new thing
1133
01:09:02,229 --> 01:09:03,314
(SCREAMS)
1134
01:09:03,355 --> 01:09:04,815
Get beside me
1135
01:09:04,857 --> 01:09:06,900
I want you to love me
1136
01:09:10,362 --> 01:09:14,241
I'm surprised that
you've never been told before
1137
01:09:14,283 --> 01:09:15,409
(SHOUTS)
1138
01:09:15,451 --> 01:09:18,037
That you're lovely and you're perfect
1139
01:09:18,078 --> 01:09:20,080
And that somebody wants you
1140
01:09:37,890 --> 01:09:42,728
I'm surprised that
you've never been told before
1141
01:09:43,103 --> 01:09:45,481
That you're lovely
and you're perfect
1142
01:09:45,522 --> 01:09:47,691
And that somebody wants you
1143
01:09:47,775 --> 01:09:52,446
I'm surprised that
you've never been told before
1144
01:09:52,696 --> 01:09:54,948
That you're priceless
Yeah, you're holy
1145
01:09:55,074 --> 01:09:58,744
Even when you are not new
1146
01:10:00,037 --> 01:10:01,747
(LAUGHING)
1147
01:10:01,789 --> 01:10:02,956
PATRICK: All right, come on.
1148
01:10:02,998 --> 01:10:05,584
Fascinating new thing
1149
01:10:07,795 --> 01:10:09,922
Fascinating new thing
1150
01:10:10,381 --> 01:10:11,757
All right
1151
01:10:18,555 --> 01:10:20,599
No, none of that stuff is true.
1152
01:10:20,641 --> 01:10:23,894
- State trooper.
- Fallacy. Dead guy in the parking lot?
1153
01:10:24,103 --> 01:10:26,063
Rumour. The duck?
1154
01:10:26,105 --> 01:10:28,399
Hearsay. Bobby Ridgeway's balls?
1155
01:10:28,732 --> 01:10:31,276
Fact. But he deserved it.
He tried to grope me in the lunch line.
1156
01:10:31,318 --> 01:10:33,362
- Fair enough.
- The accent?
1157
01:10:33,737 --> 01:10:37,241
It's real.
I lived in Australia until I was 10.
1158
01:10:37,533 --> 01:10:40,369
- With the Pygmies?
- (CHUCKLES) Close.
1159
01:10:40,577 --> 01:10:41,870
With my mom.
1160
01:10:43,747 --> 01:10:46,917
Where were you last year?
I know the porn career is a lie.
1161
01:10:46,959 --> 01:10:48,335
Do you?
1162
01:10:56,593 --> 01:10:59,221
- Tell me something true.
- Something true.
1163
01:11:02,391 --> 01:11:03,767
I hate peas.
1164
01:11:04,435 --> 01:11:08,022
No. Something real.
Something no one else knows.
1165
01:11:08,147 --> 01:11:10,649
Okay. You're sweet,
1166
01:11:13,277 --> 01:11:14,820
and sexy,
1167
01:11:14,862 --> 01:11:16,488
(KISSES NECK)
1168
01:11:16,530 --> 01:11:18,657
and completely hot for me.
1169
01:11:20,242 --> 01:11:23,078
You are amazingly self-assured.
Has anyone ever told you that?
1170
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,539
I tell myself that every day, actually.
1171
01:11:29,043 --> 01:11:32,921
- Go to the prom with me.
- Is that a request or a command?
1172
01:11:32,963 --> 01:11:35,174
Come on. Go with me.
1173
01:11:35,591 --> 01:11:38,677
- No.
- No? Why not?
1174
01:11:39,094 --> 01:11:41,180
Because I don't want to.
Because it's a stupid tradition.
1175
01:11:41,221 --> 01:11:44,016
Come on.
People won't expect you to go.
1176
01:11:44,808 --> 01:11:46,894
Why are you pushing this?
1177
01:11:49,271 --> 01:11:51,106
What's in it for you?
1178
01:11:52,024 --> 01:11:53,150
Oh.
1179
01:11:54,652 --> 01:11:58,238
So now I need to have a motive
to want to be with you?
1180
01:11:58,322 --> 01:11:59,573
You tell me.
1181
01:12:01,992 --> 01:12:03,369
You need therapy, you know that?
1182
01:12:03,410 --> 01:12:05,954
Has anyone ever told you that?
1183
01:12:06,747 --> 01:12:08,666
- Answer the question, Patrick.
- Nothing!
1184
01:12:08,707 --> 01:12:09,792
There is nothing in it for me,
1185
01:12:09,833 --> 01:12:12,586
just the pleasure of your company.
Okay?
1186
01:12:13,504 --> 01:12:14,880
(SCOFFS)
1187
01:12:24,181 --> 01:12:25,891
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1188
01:12:37,277 --> 01:12:40,280
Wait. Wait a minute.
That... That's not on this page.
1189
01:12:52,626 --> 01:12:53,877
Merde.
1190
01:13:15,691 --> 01:13:17,026
(GROANS)
1191
01:13:17,067 --> 01:13:18,485
(PANTING)
1192
01:13:19,820 --> 01:13:21,071
Seven!
1193
01:13:24,074 --> 01:13:25,242
Good.
1194
01:13:29,538 --> 01:13:31,874
- Daddy?
- Hi, honey.
1195
01:13:32,416 --> 01:13:36,587
I'd like to discuss tomorrow night
with you. As you know, it's the prom...
1196
01:13:42,968 --> 01:13:45,471
The prom? Kat has a date?
1197
01:13:46,221 --> 01:13:47,765
Well, no.
1198
01:13:49,058 --> 01:13:50,225
Don't think you're fooling me.
1199
01:13:50,267 --> 01:13:51,602
I know who you wanna
bend the rules for.
1200
01:13:51,644 --> 01:13:53,604
It's that hot-rod Joey.
1201
01:13:53,646 --> 01:13:55,356
What's a hot rod?
1202
01:13:56,065 --> 01:14:00,527
It's a... If your sister's not going,
you're not going. End of story.
1203
01:14:01,528 --> 01:14:03,322
Okay, let's review.
1204
01:14:03,364 --> 01:14:06,450
Kat, not interested, me, dying to go.
1205
01:14:06,659 --> 01:14:08,786
Do you know what happens at proms?
1206
01:14:08,827 --> 01:14:11,622
Yes, Daddy. We'll dance,
we'll kiss, we'll come home.
1207
01:14:11,664 --> 01:14:14,249
It's not quite the crisis situation
you imagine.
1208
01:14:14,291 --> 01:14:16,335
Kissing, huh?
That's what you think happens?
1209
01:14:16,377 --> 01:14:17,544
Got news for you.
1210
01:14:17,586 --> 01:14:22,132
Kissing isn't what keeps me up to
my elbows in placenta all day long.
1211
01:14:22,591 --> 01:14:25,594
Can we for two seconds ignore the fact
that you're severely unhinged,
1212
01:14:25,636 --> 01:14:28,138
and discuss my need for a night
of teenage normalcy?
1213
01:14:28,180 --> 01:14:31,308
What's normal?
Those damn Dawson's River kids,
1214
01:14:31,350 --> 01:14:33,811
sleeping in each other's beds
and whatnot?
1215
01:14:34,687 --> 01:14:36,939
- Daddy, that is so not...
- Got news for ya.
1216
01:14:36,981 --> 01:14:38,649
I'm down. I've got the 4-1-1.
1217
01:14:38,691 --> 01:14:41,110
And you are not going out
and getting jiggy with some boy.
1218
01:14:41,151 --> 01:14:43,612
I don't care how dope his ride is.
1219
01:14:43,946 --> 01:14:45,364
(GROANS)
1220
01:14:48,659 --> 01:14:51,078
My mama didn't raise no fool.
1221
01:14:52,496 --> 01:14:53,998
Thanks, Bill.
1222
01:14:55,582 --> 01:14:58,252
Ridiculous amounts of love
across this nation worldwide.
1223
01:14:58,293 --> 01:14:59,420
(CHUCKLES)
1224
01:14:59,461 --> 01:15:00,754
Believe it.
1225
01:15:01,839 --> 01:15:03,757
GIRL:
This is the true story.
1226
01:15:04,008 --> 01:15:05,926
- The Real World.
- MAN: Seattle.
1227
01:15:06,635 --> 01:15:08,012
(KNOCKING)
1228
01:15:08,595 --> 01:15:10,055
(GROANS) Come in.
1229
01:15:10,097 --> 01:15:12,975
(SLOW PIANO ON TV)
1230
01:15:16,687 --> 01:15:18,355
Listen, I know...
1231
01:15:19,690 --> 01:15:21,358
(TV SHUTS OFF)
1232
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:24,570
I know you hate having to sit at home
because I'm not Suzy High School.
1233
01:15:24,611 --> 01:15:26,864
- Like you care.
- I do care.
1234
01:15:27,990 --> 01:15:30,701
But I'm a firm believer in doing
something for your own reasons,
1235
01:15:30,743 --> 01:15:32,786
and not someone else's.
1236
01:15:33,662 --> 01:15:35,706
Well, I wish I had that luxury.
1237
01:15:35,748 --> 01:15:38,542
You know, I'm the only sophomore
that got asked to go to the prom,
1238
01:15:38,584 --> 01:15:41,628
and I can't go
because you don't feel like it.
1239
01:15:45,549 --> 01:15:48,802
Joey never told you
that we went out, did he?
1240
01:15:48,844 --> 01:15:52,431
- Yeah, okay.
- In ninth, for a month.
1241
01:15:59,021 --> 01:16:02,358
- Why?
- Because he was, like, such a babe.
1242
01:16:03,359 --> 01:16:06,195
- But you hate Joey.
- Now I do.
1243
01:16:07,029 --> 01:16:08,572
So, what happened?
1244
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:17,373
(LAUGHS)
Oh! Please tell me you're joking.
1245
01:16:17,873 --> 01:16:21,335
Just once, right after Mom left.
1246
01:16:22,586 --> 01:16:25,047
Everyone was doing it, so...
1247
01:16:25,089 --> 01:16:26,423
I did it.
1248
01:16:27,424 --> 01:16:30,803
Afterwards I told him I didn't want to
any more because I wasn't ready,
1249
01:16:30,844 --> 01:16:33,389
and he got pissed and he dumped me.
1250
01:16:34,598 --> 01:16:36,433
After that I swore I'd never do anything
1251
01:16:36,475 --> 01:16:38,394
just because everyone else
was doing it.
1252
01:16:38,435 --> 01:16:40,104
And I haven't since,
1253
01:16:40,688 --> 01:16:45,067
with the exception of Bogey's party
and my stunning digestive pyrotechnics.
1254
01:16:47,236 --> 01:16:50,114
How is it possible
that I did not know about this?
1255
01:16:50,906 --> 01:16:52,366
I warned him that if he told anyone,
1256
01:16:52,408 --> 01:16:55,953
the cheerleading squad would find out
how tiny his dick is.
1257
01:16:58,914 --> 01:17:01,792
Okay, so why didn't you tell me?
1258
01:17:03,585 --> 01:17:06,547
I wanted to let you
make up your mind about him.
1259
01:17:07,965 --> 01:17:10,926
Then why did you help Daddy
hold me hostage?
1260
01:17:11,260 --> 01:17:14,638
It's not like I'm stupid enough
to repeat your mistakes.
1261
01:17:14,680 --> 01:17:16,682
I guess I thought I was protecting you.
1262
01:17:16,724 --> 01:17:19,768
By not letting me experience
anything for myself?
1263
01:17:19,810 --> 01:17:22,479
Not all experiences are good, Bianca.
1264
01:17:22,521 --> 01:17:24,606
You can't always trust
the people you want to.
1265
01:17:24,648 --> 01:17:27,234
Well, I guess I'll never know, will I?
1266
01:17:49,131 --> 01:17:52,468
(SINGING)
The grey ceiling on the Earth
1267
01:17:52,509 --> 01:17:55,012
Well, it lasted for a while
1268
01:17:55,137 --> 01:17:57,931
Take my thoughts
for what they're worth
1269
01:17:58,223 --> 01:18:01,185
I've been acting like a child
1270
01:18:01,268 --> 01:18:04,146
But what else, what else can I do?
1271
01:18:04,188 --> 01:18:08,025
I said I'm sorry
Yeah, I'm sorry
1272
01:18:12,279 --> 01:18:14,156
Ladies with thinning hair or bald spots,
1273
01:18:14,198 --> 01:18:18,702
G.L.H. solves the problem instantly.
G.L.H. is not a paint or a cover-up.
1274
01:18:18,911 --> 01:18:22,915
It's an amazing powder that clings
to the tiniest hairs on your head.
1275
01:18:23,165 --> 01:18:25,042
It actually builds on itself,
1276
01:18:25,084 --> 01:18:27,753
leaving you with great,
great-looking hair.
1277
01:18:27,795 --> 01:18:29,380
And the G.L.H. hair system
is not expensive.
1278
01:18:29,421 --> 01:18:30,589
Interesting.
1279
01:18:30,631 --> 01:18:33,092
Order your G.L.H. hair package now.
1280
01:18:33,842 --> 01:18:36,136
Bye, Dad. I'm going to the prom.
1281
01:18:36,470 --> 01:18:37,596
Funny, sweetie.
1282
01:18:37,638 --> 01:18:38,806
(DOOR OPENS)
1283
01:18:38,847 --> 01:18:40,891
It instantly covers your bald spot
leaving you with great...
1284
01:18:40,933 --> 01:18:42,309
(DOOR CLOSES)
1285
01:18:45,813 --> 01:18:47,982
- What's that?
- A prom dress.
1286
01:18:48,232 --> 01:18:50,025
I seem to be hearing that word
a lot lately.
1287
01:18:50,067 --> 01:18:51,735
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1288
01:18:56,073 --> 01:18:59,243
- Hi.
- Wow. I, um...
1289
01:19:00,285 --> 01:19:01,912
(STAMMERS)
1290
01:19:01,954 --> 01:19:03,872
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
1291
01:19:04,540 --> 01:19:07,001
- (CHUCKLES) Bye, Daddy.
- Stop.
1292
01:19:07,042 --> 01:19:09,878
Turn. Explain.
1293
01:19:11,213 --> 01:19:14,591
Okay. Remember how you said
I could date if Kat dated?
1294
01:19:14,633 --> 01:19:16,969
Well, she found this guy
who's actually kind of perfect for her
1295
01:19:17,011 --> 01:19:18,429
which is perfect for me,
1296
01:19:18,470 --> 01:19:21,348
because Cameron asked me to go to
the prom and I really, really wanna go,
1297
01:19:21,390 --> 01:19:24,643
and since Kat went I guess I'm allowed
to, based on the aforementioned rule,
1298
01:19:24,685 --> 01:19:26,812
and its previous stipulations, of course.
1299
01:19:27,563 --> 01:19:29,523
- Nice to meet you.
- Let's go.
1300
01:19:33,235 --> 01:19:34,862
I know every cop in town, bucko!
1301
01:19:38,949 --> 01:19:40,659
This is not good.
1302
01:19:42,286 --> 01:19:46,332
(SINGING)
I said I want you to know
1303
01:19:46,582 --> 01:19:49,460
I said I want you
to know right now
1304
01:19:50,586 --> 01:19:53,297
Well, I want you to know
1305
01:19:54,590 --> 01:19:59,803
I said I want you to know
1306
01:20:00,262 --> 01:20:03,182
Whoa
1307
01:20:04,933 --> 01:20:07,186
Shout, shout
1308
01:20:07,478 --> 01:20:09,813
CROWD: (SINGING) Shout, shout
1309
01:20:10,439 --> 01:20:12,024
Hey
1310
01:20:12,066 --> 01:20:13,651
CROWD: Hey
1311
01:20:13,692 --> 01:20:15,277
(MUSIC FADES)
1312
01:20:22,326 --> 01:20:23,494
Wow.
1313
01:20:24,953 --> 01:20:26,288
You, too.
1314
01:20:29,375 --> 01:20:31,001
Where'd you get a tux
at the last minute?
1315
01:20:31,043 --> 01:20:34,254
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.
1316
01:20:34,588 --> 01:20:35,881
Where'd you get the dress?
1317
01:20:35,923 --> 01:20:38,509
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.
1318
01:20:42,054 --> 01:20:45,933
Listen, I'm really sorry
that I questioned your motives.
1319
01:20:46,475 --> 01:20:48,143
I was wrong.
1320
01:20:48,185 --> 01:20:51,021
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
You're forgiven.
1321
01:20:54,441 --> 01:20:55,609
Okay.
1322
01:20:56,610 --> 01:20:58,946
- Ready for the prom?
- Yes, ma'am.
1323
01:21:12,668 --> 01:21:16,255
Hi, Mr Stratford. I'm Joey.
I'm here to pick up Bianca.
1324
01:21:25,180 --> 01:21:26,432
WOMAN: (SINGING)
... on their minds
1325
01:21:26,473 --> 01:21:30,686
Their hormones are raging
and they want it all the time
1326
01:21:30,728 --> 01:21:33,272
And I know
I know 'cause you said so
1327
01:21:33,314 --> 01:21:37,526
And I can't just let you go and
I know, I know 'cause you said so
1328
01:21:37,568 --> 01:21:39,278
- Have you seen him?
- Who?
1329
01:21:39,320 --> 01:21:42,031
William.
He asked me to meet him here.
1330
01:21:42,865 --> 01:21:44,700
Oh, Mandella,
please tell me you haven't
1331
01:21:44,742 --> 01:21:47,202
progressed to full-on hallucinations.
1332
01:21:47,870 --> 01:21:50,372
You're nice to see
and nice to touch
1333
01:21:50,414 --> 01:21:52,750
But I would never, ever, ever
treat you wrong
1334
01:21:52,791 --> 01:21:55,210
Been waiting for you all day long
1335
01:21:55,252 --> 01:21:59,840
And I know, I know 'cause you said so
and I can't just let you go
1336
01:21:59,882 --> 01:22:05,095
And I know, I know 'cause you said so
and I can't just let you go
1337
01:22:09,975 --> 01:22:12,353
- Milady.
- Good sir.
1338
01:22:33,707 --> 01:22:36,710
(CRUEL TO BE KIND PLAYING)
1339
01:22:36,877 --> 01:22:38,671
Oh, my God, it's...
1340
01:22:40,339 --> 01:22:42,341
I called in a favour!
1341
01:22:48,389 --> 01:22:52,059
(SINGING) Oh, I can't take
another heartache
1342
01:22:52,101 --> 01:22:56,146
Though you say you're my friend
I'm at my wits' end
1343
01:22:56,397 --> 01:22:58,774
You say your love is bona fide
1344
01:22:58,816 --> 01:23:03,320
But that don't coincide
with the things that you do
1345
01:23:03,362 --> 01:23:07,282
And when I ask you to be nice
1346
01:23:07,533 --> 01:23:09,618
You say you gotta be
1347
01:23:09,660 --> 01:23:13,038
Cruel to be kind
in the right measure
1348
01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:15,958
Cruel to be kind
It's a very good sign
1349
01:23:16,417 --> 01:23:21,630
Cruel to be kind
means that I love you, baby
1350
01:23:21,672 --> 01:23:23,632
You gotta be cruel to be kind
1351
01:23:23,674 --> 01:23:28,137
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oo
1352
01:23:28,178 --> 01:23:31,640
Cruel to be kind
in the right measure
1353
01:23:31,682 --> 01:23:34,685
Cruel to be kind
It's a very good sign
1354
01:23:34,935 --> 01:23:37,813
(GIRLS CHATTERING)
1355
01:23:39,690 --> 01:23:41,233
What are you doing here?
1356
01:23:41,275 --> 01:23:43,819
I know you didn't think you were
the only sophomore at the prom.
1357
01:23:43,861 --> 01:23:45,612
Joey just picked me up.
1358
01:23:45,738 --> 01:23:48,824
Oh, well, congratulations.
He's all yours.
1359
01:23:48,866 --> 01:23:50,409
Very generous, princess.
1360
01:23:50,576 --> 01:23:53,829
And just so you know,
Joey only liked you for one reason.
1361
01:23:53,871 --> 01:23:55,789
He even had a bet going
with his friends.
1362
01:23:55,831 --> 01:23:58,042
He was gonna nail you tonight.
1363
01:24:03,005 --> 01:24:05,299
- Milwaukee.
- What?
1364
01:24:05,466 --> 01:24:08,427
That's where I was last year.
I wasn't in jail.
1365
01:24:08,719 --> 01:24:13,682
I don't know Marilyn Manson and I didn't
sleep with a Spice Girl, I don't think.
1366
01:24:13,807 --> 01:24:17,603
You see, my grandpa, he was ill so
I spent most of the year on his couch
1367
01:24:17,645 --> 01:24:21,190
watching Wheel of Fortune
and making SpaghettiOs.
1368
01:24:21,649 --> 01:24:23,692
End of story.
1369
01:24:23,776 --> 01:24:25,152
No way.
1370
01:24:27,321 --> 01:24:31,200
Hey. What's Bianca doing here
with that cheese dick?
1371
01:24:31,408 --> 01:24:35,746
I didn't pay you to take out Kat so some
little punk could snake me with Bianca.
1372
01:24:40,209 --> 01:24:42,378
Nothing in it for you, huh?
1373
01:24:53,764 --> 01:24:55,891
The shit hath hitteth
1374
01:24:55,975 --> 01:24:58,102
the faneth.
1375
01:25:01,939 --> 01:25:05,067
Joey, pal, compadre?
1376
01:25:08,112 --> 01:25:11,407
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.
1377
01:25:11,448 --> 01:25:14,076
You and that little bitch.
1378
01:25:14,827 --> 01:25:17,621
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.
1379
01:25:20,416 --> 01:25:22,668
Oh, come on! Get up, you little punk!
1380
01:25:27,715 --> 01:25:30,968
Shit, Bianca!
I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow!
1381
01:25:31,051 --> 01:25:34,221
That's for making my date bleed!
That's for my sister!
1382
01:25:34,388 --> 01:25:35,597
(GROANS)
1383
01:25:35,639 --> 01:25:37,349
And that's for me.
1384
01:25:44,898 --> 01:25:46,442
Are you okay?
1385
01:25:47,401 --> 01:25:49,069
Never been better.
1386
01:25:54,241 --> 01:25:56,618
(GROANING CONTINUES)
1387
01:25:58,245 --> 01:25:59,371
Would you give me a chance...
1388
01:25:59,413 --> 01:26:02,499
You were paid to take me out
by the one person I truly hate.
1389
01:26:02,583 --> 01:26:04,293
I knew this was a set-up!
1390
01:26:04,752 --> 01:26:07,129
Kat, it wasn't like that, okay.
1391
01:26:07,212 --> 01:26:09,923
What was it, like, a down payment now
and a bonus for sleeping with me?
1392
01:26:09,965 --> 01:26:12,968
No, I didn't care about the money!
I cared...
1393
01:26:13,761 --> 01:26:15,638
I cared about you.
1394
01:26:17,181 --> 01:26:19,475
You are so not who I thought you were.
1395
01:26:23,145 --> 01:26:27,232
(SINGING)
That is how love goes
1396
01:26:29,068 --> 01:26:33,781
You will fly
and you will crawl
1397
01:26:34,031 --> 01:26:39,328
God knows even angels fall
1398
01:26:42,790 --> 01:26:45,250
And it's a secret
1399
01:26:45,292 --> 01:26:47,503
That no one tells
1400
01:26:47,711 --> 01:26:52,508
One day it's heaven
One day it's hell
1401
01:26:52,675 --> 01:26:55,010
And it's no fairy tale
1402
01:26:55,219 --> 01:26:57,930
Take it from me
1403
01:26:57,972 --> 01:27:01,934
That's the way
it's supposed to be
1404
01:27:01,976 --> 01:27:04,228
(SIGHS)
You want?
1405
01:27:04,687 --> 01:27:05,980
Thanks.
1406
01:27:07,231 --> 01:27:11,235
So, you sure you don't want
to go sailing with us? It'll be fun.
1407
01:27:11,652 --> 01:27:13,570
No, I'm fine.
1408
01:27:14,947 --> 01:27:19,118
Look, I don't know if I ever thanked you
for going last night,
1409
01:27:20,369 --> 01:27:22,621
but it really meant a lot to me.
1410
01:27:24,999 --> 01:27:26,250
I'm glad.
1411
01:27:28,460 --> 01:27:30,713
- Hey.
- Hey.
1412
01:27:30,879 --> 01:27:32,715
- You ready?
- Mmm-hmm.
1413
01:27:34,300 --> 01:27:36,051
- See you later.
- Bye.
1414
01:27:38,012 --> 01:27:40,556
- Is... Is she okay?
- I hope so.
1415
01:27:44,310 --> 01:27:45,894
(DOOR CLOSES)
1416
01:27:47,521 --> 01:27:49,481
Where's your sister going?
1417
01:27:49,648 --> 01:27:53,402
She's meeting some bikers,
big ones, full of sperm.
1418
01:27:55,321 --> 01:27:56,572
Funny.
1419
01:27:58,657 --> 01:28:01,076
So, tell me about this dance.
Was it hoppin'?
1420
01:28:02,661 --> 01:28:03,912
Parts of it.
1421
01:28:03,954 --> 01:28:05,247
Which parts?
1422
01:28:06,040 --> 01:28:09,084
The part where Bianca
beat the hell out of some guy.
1423
01:28:09,126 --> 01:28:10,586
Bianca did what?
1424
01:28:10,627 --> 01:28:13,881
What's the matter,
upset that I rubbed off on her?
1425
01:28:14,590 --> 01:28:16,133
No, impressed.
1426
01:28:20,721 --> 01:28:22,765
Fathers don't like to admit it
when their daughters
1427
01:28:22,806 --> 01:28:24,141
are capable of running their own lives.
1428
01:28:24,183 --> 01:28:26,352
It means we've become spectators.
1429
01:28:30,522 --> 01:28:35,277
Bianca still lets me play a few innings.
You've had me on the bench for years.
1430
01:28:37,655 --> 01:28:41,075
And when you go to Sarah Lawrence,
I won't even be able to watch the game.
1431
01:28:43,285 --> 01:28:44,870
When I go?
1432
01:28:45,954 --> 01:28:48,999
Oh, boy. Don't tell me
you changed your mind.
1433
01:28:50,000 --> 01:28:52,169
I already sent 'em a cheque.
1434
01:29:09,228 --> 01:29:12,690
All right, I assume everyone
has found time to complete their poem,
1435
01:29:12,815 --> 01:29:14,525
except for Mr Donner,
1436
01:29:15,150 --> 01:29:16,694
(LAUGHING) who has an excuse.
1437
01:29:18,904 --> 01:29:21,031
Shaft, lose the glasses.
1438
01:29:24,910 --> 01:29:28,288
All right, anyone brave enough
to read theirs aloud?
1439
01:29:36,714 --> 01:29:37,965
I will.
1440
01:29:40,384 --> 01:29:41,927
Lord, here we go.
1441
01:29:47,308 --> 01:29:48,642
(CLEARS THROAT)
1442
01:29:50,769 --> 01:29:53,981
"I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair
1443
01:29:54,231 --> 01:29:58,444
"I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
1444
01:29:58,694 --> 01:30:02,531
"I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
1445
01:30:02,656 --> 01:30:06,452
"I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
1446
01:30:07,953 --> 01:30:11,290
(SIGHS) "I hate it...
I hate the way you're always right
1447
01:30:11,749 --> 01:30:13,917
"I hate it when you lie
1448
01:30:13,959 --> 01:30:17,546
"I hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry
1449
01:30:19,548 --> 01:30:23,344
"I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call
1450
01:30:23,761 --> 01:30:27,473
"But mostly, I hate the way
I don't hate you, not even close
1451
01:30:27,514 --> 01:30:30,184
"not even a little bit, not even at all"
1452
01:30:42,655 --> 01:30:43,739
(DOOR OPENS)
1453
01:30:44,657 --> 01:30:46,033
(DOOR CLOSES)
1454
01:31:12,893 --> 01:31:16,397
- Nice, huh?
- A Fender Strat?
1455
01:31:16,981 --> 01:31:18,440
Is it for me?
1456
01:31:18,482 --> 01:31:22,277
Yeah, I thought you could use it,
you know, when you start your band.
1457
01:31:22,319 --> 01:31:25,072
Besides,
I had some extra cash, you know.
1458
01:31:25,114 --> 01:31:28,617
Some asshole paid me
to take out this really great girl.
1459
01:31:29,868 --> 01:31:31,620
Is that right?
1460
01:31:32,121 --> 01:31:35,624
Yeah, but I screwed up.
I, um... I fell for her.
1461
01:31:38,210 --> 01:31:39,461
Really?
1462
01:31:41,046 --> 01:31:42,339
It's not every day you find a girl
1463
01:31:42,381 --> 01:31:45,592
who'll flash someone
to get you out of detention.
1464
01:31:46,510 --> 01:31:47,761
Oh, God.
1465
01:31:56,020 --> 01:31:59,773
You can't just buy me a guitar
every time you screw up, you know.
1466
01:32:00,107 --> 01:32:01,608
Yeah, I know.
1467
01:32:02,526 --> 01:32:06,280
But there's always drums and bass
and maybe even one day a tambourine.
1468
01:32:14,246 --> 01:32:15,414
And don't just think you can...
1469
01:32:15,456 --> 01:32:18,917
(SINGING)
I want you to want me
1470
01:32:19,877 --> 01:32:24,340
I need you to need me
1471
01:32:24,423 --> 01:32:28,469
I'd love you to love me
1472
01:32:28,594 --> 01:32:33,432
I'm beggin' you to beg me
1473
01:32:33,557 --> 01:32:35,768
Shine up my old brown shoes
1474
01:32:35,809 --> 01:32:37,978
I put on a brand-new shirt
1475
01:32:38,062 --> 01:32:39,980
I'll get home early from work
1476
01:32:40,189 --> 01:32:43,567
If you say that you love me
1477
01:32:43,901 --> 01:32:47,363
Didn't I, didn't I
didn't I see you cryin'?
1478
01:32:47,863 --> 01:32:51,575
Oh, didn't I, didn't I
didn't I see you cryin'?
1479
01:32:52,951 --> 01:32:54,578
Feelin' all alone without a friend
1480
01:32:54,620 --> 01:32:56,580
You know you feel like dyin'
1481
01:32:56,914 --> 01:33:00,918
Oh, didn't I, didn't I
didn't I see you cryin'?
1482
01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:06,131
I want you to want me
1483
01:33:06,548 --> 01:33:10,844
I need you to need me
1484
01:33:11,136 --> 01:33:15,140
I'd love you to love me
1485
01:33:15,307 --> 01:33:20,020
I'm beggin' you to beg me
1486
01:33:20,270 --> 01:33:22,564
Shine up my old brown shoes
1487
01:33:22,690 --> 01:33:24,858
I put on a brand-new shirt
1488
01:33:24,900 --> 01:33:26,819
I'll get home early from work
1489
01:33:26,860 --> 01:33:31,323
If you say that you love me
1490
01:33:31,824 --> 01:33:35,661
Didn't I, didn't I
didn't I see you cryin'?
1491
01:33:35,828 --> 01:33:39,873
Oh, didn't I, didn't I
didn't I see you cryin'?
1492
01:33:40,958 --> 01:33:44,712
Feelin' all alone without a friend
you know you feel like dyin'
1493
01:33:45,087 --> 01:33:49,967
Oh, didn't I, didn't I
didn't I see you cryin'?
1494
01:33:50,009 --> 01:33:52,094
Hey!
1495
01:33:59,518 --> 01:34:03,230
Feelin' all alone without a friend
you know you feel like dyin'
1496
01:34:03,355 --> 01:34:08,027
Oh, didn't I, didn't I
didn't I see you cryin'
1497
01:34:17,828 --> 01:34:22,082
I want you to want me
1498
01:34:22,333 --> 01:34:26,629
I need you to need me
1499
01:34:26,879 --> 01:34:30,883
I'd love you to love me
1500
01:34:31,050 --> 01:34:36,013
I'm beggin' you to beg me
1501
01:34:36,055 --> 01:34:40,267
I want you to want me
1502
01:34:40,726 --> 01:34:44,480
I want you to want me
1503
01:34:46,690 --> 01:34:51,153
No offence. I know everyone "digs"
your sister and all, but, um,
1504
01:34:51,362 --> 01:34:52,946
she's without.
1505
01:34:54,865 --> 01:34:58,827
You know, you're not as vile
as I thought you were.
1506
01:35:05,292 --> 01:35:07,795
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1507
01:35:08,045 --> 01:35:10,798
You suck.
1508
01:35:10,923 --> 01:35:14,510
Okay. Let's go!
1509
01:35:16,428 --> 01:35:18,472
You're just messin' with me, aren't you?
1510
01:35:18,555 --> 01:35:20,641
No, I'm really looking forward
to doing it.
1511
01:35:20,683 --> 01:35:22,017
Go see Miss Perky.
1512
01:35:22,059 --> 01:35:24,770
- What?
- Go. Perky's. Go, now.
1513
01:35:24,812 --> 01:35:27,773
DIRECTOR: Once again.
"Perky, now" is the second one.
1514
01:35:27,815 --> 01:35:30,651
- Perky's now. Perky's, now.
- Right away.
1515
01:35:30,693 --> 01:35:32,486
- Now, Perky's.
- Hey, hey.
1516
01:35:32,528 --> 01:35:35,364
- Now, Perky's. Perky's now.
- At the beginning of the shot.
1517
01:35:35,406 --> 01:35:36,824
Perk... Oh.
1518
01:35:40,327 --> 01:35:43,664
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr Cuervo.
1519
01:35:43,789 --> 01:35:46,625
Um, I'll see you around, okay?
1520
01:35:57,511 --> 01:36:00,347
Don't worry. There's better for you,
1521
01:36:00,472 --> 01:36:02,308
and it's right here.
1522
01:36:02,808 --> 01:36:05,185
Come here.
No, I wanted you for so long.
1523
01:36:05,227 --> 01:36:06,687
(CREW LAUGHING)
1524
01:36:07,688 --> 01:36:11,025
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.
1525
01:36:11,066 --> 01:36:13,402
You and that little bitch.
1526
01:36:14,528 --> 01:36:18,198
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.
1527
01:36:23,203 --> 01:36:24,538
What, are you kidding me?
1528
01:36:24,580 --> 01:36:26,498
(BLEEPING)
1529
01:36:30,461 --> 01:36:33,714
- I'm driving, so I pick the tunes.
- And it's my car.
1530
01:36:33,881 --> 01:36:36,592
(SCREAMING)
1531
01:36:36,967 --> 01:36:39,845
I want some coffee!
1532
01:36:52,524 --> 01:36:55,402
Could I get a prophylactic?
1533
01:36:55,527 --> 01:36:58,656
A prophylactic. Ah!
1534
01:36:59,573 --> 01:37:02,618
- Let go!
- How could you set me up like that?
1535
01:37:02,660 --> 01:37:04,536
Oh, God, I just wanted...
1536
01:37:04,578 --> 01:37:06,664
To completely damage me,
send me to therapy forever?
1537
01:37:06,705 --> 01:37:08,916
- Ow! No, I just wanted...
- Ladies.
1538
01:37:08,957 --> 01:37:10,584
(WHIMPERING)
1539
01:37:12,002 --> 01:37:13,879
- Shall we go to my office?
- Tout de suite!
1540
01:37:13,921 --> 01:37:15,422
Tout de suite!
1541
01:37:16,590 --> 01:37:18,717
Oh, my God!