1
00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:24,774
ASTRONAUT: Mission Control, come
in. Mission Control, do you read?

2
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,530
Mayday. Mayday.

3
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,575
On reentry into Earth's orbit,
I seem to have fallen into,

4
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,246
I don't know, some kind
of tear in time and space.

5
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:42,125
My coordinates are unknown.
Is this even Earth?

6
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:47,505
Ship's instruments indicate
should be White Sands, New Mexico.

7
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,300
Obvious error. Is anyone
receiving this? Come back.

8
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,220
(ROARING)

9
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,639
Oh, God. Oh, God.

10
00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,060
Recovery team! Recovery
team, fix coordinates now!

11
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:05,773
Where the hell am I?
Somebody respond!

12
00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,567
Recovery team,
come back, God damn it!

13
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,776
Does anybody...

14
00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:10,445
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

15
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,280
Oh, God. Oh, God!

16
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,240
Does anyone read...

17
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,748
No!

18
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:31,340
MALE ANNOUNCER: This is
Today, with Matt Lauer.

19
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,801
We're back now with
Dr. Rick Marshall,

20
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,387
whose new book arrives
in stores tomorrow.

21
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:42,268
It was back in Oslo, Doctor, last month,
that you just startled your colleagues

22
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,897
with this theory of yours that takes
science in a completely new direction.

23
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,023
- Quantum...
- Quantum Paleontology.

24
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,274
Quantum Paleontology,
that's correct.

25
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,942
What exactly is that?

26
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:54,280
Well, it's... Not to say modestly,
it's our very future, Matt.

27
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,491
It's the only
real solution

28
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,951
to solving this fossil fuel
crisis we're experiencing.

29
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,579
And it boils down
to two simple words.

30
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,080
Renewable biofuels.

31
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,208
Close. Time warps.

32
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,627
- Time warps?
- Time warps.

33
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,669
You're serious about this.

34
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,630
I'm deadly serious.

35
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:14,091
Five years, over $50
million on my research.

36
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,637
You've spent $50 million of your
own money studying time warps?

37
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:21,307
No, that's adorable. No, taxpayers'
money. I don't have $50 million.

38
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,725
And now you're
asking for more.

39
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,268
It's all explained
in my book.

40
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,478
I know. We've plugged the book.

41
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,854
(READING)

42
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:27,939
Yeah.

43
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,106
Bantam Books. Amazon.

44
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:32,819
We are living in a time
right now with huge cuts in...

45
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:33,945
I saw.

46
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,404
- Huge cuts in spending.
- Right.

47
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,989
We're in dire economic straits,

48
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:40,952
and you're spending $50
million on studying time warps.

49
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,995
How do you not think
that's irresponsible?

50
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,163
- Well, I...
- Are you smoking?

51
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,998
No, I'm making a balloon
animal here, earthling.

52
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,291
But you can't smoke in the studio.

53
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,543
Okay, no one told me that.

54
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:50,169
Just, you can't.

55
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,587
Look, look... Fine.

56
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:56,342
There are huge, huge amounts of
trans-dimensional energy out there

57
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,177
just waiting for us to throw the switch.

58
00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,512
Energy crisis averted.

59
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:04,141
You are asking people to stake the entire
future of industrialized civilization

60
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,853
on what you call
"parallel dimensions. "

61
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,856
What about the critics who
have a fair question, Doctor?

62
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:10,940
Mmm-hmm.

63
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,235
They say this theory of yours is
not science. It is non-science.

64
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,904
And some are even more blunt,
and they say it's nonsense.

65
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,114
How do you
respond to that?

66
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,407
- My critics?
- Your critics.

67
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,200
- And there are a lot of them.
- Can you be more specific?

68
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,785
Stephen Hawking.

69
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,831
Stephen Hawking says this
is nonsense. That's his word.

70
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,416
Okay, you know what?
This interview's over.

71
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,625
Why?

72
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,295
Because, like, your producers said
you wouldn't bring that up, all right?

73
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,379
It's a fair question.

74
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,131
No, it's not! It's a hatchet job!

75
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,383
That was my guest Dr. Rick Marshall,

76
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,426
whose book arrives in stores tomorrow.

77
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,677
RICK: Goddamn right it was!

78
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:40,761
You might want to look for it

79
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:44,265
in the "I'm out of my
freaking mind" department.

80
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,142
When we come back, trampolines.

81
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,435
Summer fun or silent killer?

82
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,978
MAN: Wait, wait! He's
making a run for the stage!

83
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,229
Are you out of your mind?

84
00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,231
MAN: - Hey, he's so strong!
- What are you, crazy?

85
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,984
(RICK SCREAMING)

86
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:03,159
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed
colleagues, I'll conclude with this.

87
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,621
Our very future depends on one thing.

88
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,039
(RICK READING)

89
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,083
Subatomic particles that
move so incredibly fast,

90
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,419
they actually travel backwards in time.

91
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:18,299
Ask yourself, what if there was a
device that could harness these tachyons?

92
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,678
We could open and travel
through warps in time and space.

93
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,932
What's that?
Not in our lifetime?

94
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,977
My friends, I've designed such a device.

95
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,688
I give to you
the tachyon amplifier.

96
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,483
Genius in a box.

97
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,570
Only with this device, you don't
travel forwards or backwards.

98
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,822
You travel sideways in time

99
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:46,452
to another dimension where past,
present and future all meet.

100
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,871
And lights!

101
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,541
All right, any questions?

102
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,795
Oh! Great. Yes.
You, right there, young man.

103
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,798
Yeah. If you shot a
ton of pot at the sun,

104
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,967
would it burn up
and get everybody high?

105
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,593
No. No, no.

106
00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:05,513
Are there any real questions
that pertain to science?

107
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,973
Do you take Cialis?

108
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,809
BOY: Why were you crying in the
bathroom before this presentation?

109
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,894
How come it looks like
you're about to cry now?

110
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,354
Do dinosaurs have boobs?

111
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,189
That's it. That's it.
Everybody out of here.

112
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,858
Get out of here!
Go play in the parking lot.

113
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,151
Go run around on the
freeway, I don't care.

114
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,736
MAN: Okay, guys,
let's get some sugar!

115
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,488
I have a question.

116
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,241
Did you ever try to make
the tachyon amplifier?

117
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,325
Who are you?

118
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,910
Oh! I'm sorry.
I'm Holly Cantrell.

119
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,663
I studied all your
work at Cambridge.

120
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,082
I think you're brilliant.

121
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:37,211
Well, Holly from Cambridge
who thinks I'm brilliant,

122
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,380
I started, but I didn't finish. So, no.

123
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,924
No, but you have to build it. I
mean, it's the most incredible...

124
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,301
What are you eating?

125
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,971
It's a donut
stuffed with M&M's.

126
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,599
That way when you finish the donut,
you don't have to eat any M&M's.

127
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,436
But don't you see?
You were absolutely right.

128
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,562
- Everything...
- Stop!

129
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:59,817
Chasing that theory got me laughed out
of mainstream science and landed me here.

130
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,319
And you know what? I don't
have anyone to blame but myself.

131
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:08,492
'Cause, as they say, if you don't
make it, it's your own damn "vault. "

132
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,828
That's a bitch-slap
of truth right there.

133
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:15,082
If your theories are such
rubbish, then explain this.

134
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:22,131
That fossil is over
265 million years old

135
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,717
with an imprint
of a $10 lighter.

136
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,177
Go on, explain that.

137
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,221
I found it out in the desert
along with crystals like this

138
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,766
that radiate pure
tachyon energy.

139
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:34,935
Go on.

140
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,730
Explain that.

141
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,849
Captain Kirk's nipples!

142
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,437
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: The tar pits
will be open in five minutes.

143
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,689
Dr. Marshall,
please return the page.

144
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,817
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

145
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,443
HOLLY: Dr. Marshall?

146
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,947
(MOANING)

147
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,406
Oh, my God.

148
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,994
Are you all right?
Hey. Up you get.

149
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,454
(GRUNTING)

150
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,542
Here. Just lean against...
Oh, dear.

151
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:43,671
I'm fine, okay.
I just worked late.

152
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:48,968
Then I got hungry, and I had several
meals and lapsed into a food coma.

153
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,052
(SIGHS)

154
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:53,514
I've had issues with food in the
past, and I don't know, you know,

155
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,225
just with the stress of
everything, I just overdid it.

156
00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:00,980
But I'm in control, and I don't
have to go back to Phoenix.

157
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,484
I just... I wanted to come
and apologize for yesterday.

158
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,611
My behavior was just...

159
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,113
RICK: No, no, no, it was me.

160
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,197
(GASPS)

161
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,992
You finished the tachyon amplifier!

162
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,994
No. No. I mean, yes.

163
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,788
I don't know. I finished
building it, yes,

164
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:21,333
but I didn't have the
nerve to test it out.

165
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:27,006
So I thought a trip to Arby's might
give me some courage, but no dice.

166
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,466
Then I had Popeye's, Del Taco.

167
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,802
Fourteen thousand calories later,

168
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,804
I found myself down at Subway,

169
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:36,891
powering through a 12-inch
veggie on whole wheat,

170
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,852
babbling to a cutout of Jared.

171
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,396
It still didn't give me the
strength to turn that thing on.

172
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:44,857
I'm a coward.

173
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,484
You are not a coward.
You're a visionary.

174
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,197
This is probably the greatest work
of genius in the last 100 years.

175
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,616
(SHOW TUNE PLAYING)

176
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:59,079
(SINGING) God, I hope I
get it! I hope I get it

177
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,539
How many...

178
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,166
Is that A Chorus Line?

179
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,793
It's leftover data
from the drive.

180
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,503
What a piece of crap!

181
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,922
(SINGING)
Look at all the people...

182
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:11,300
The machine, I mean.
Not A Chorus Line.

183
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,720
I love show tunes. They really tell
the story of the human condition.

184
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,014
It's a bit gay.

185
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,433
It is great.

186
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,978
Right. Dr. Marshall, you're
gonna stop selling yourself short.

187
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,439
You're on the verge of
major discovery. Now get up.

188
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,523
Whoa! Where are we going?

189
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,068
We're gonna go and test this
little device in the field.

190
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,153
Are you crazy? I'm not
prepared for a field test.

191
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,030
Look, we're not gonna
make a big deal out of it.

192
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,199
It's just a routine expedition.

193
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,034
A routine expedition?

194
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,244
Purely routine.

195
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,678
HOLLY: Here. Here it is. This
is where I found the fossil.

196
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,429
The Devil's Canyon Mystery Cave.

197
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,889
(DEVICE BEEPING) RICK:
This dump is a portal?

198
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,975
HOLLY: Well, just
look at these readings!

199
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,102
We've just gotta get back in that cave.

200
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,396
RICK: No problem. The place
is obviously abandoned.

201
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,231
HOLLY: Not exactly.

202
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,316
So what's your pleasure?

203
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,818
I got Roman candles, bottle rockets,

204
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,945
twitter glitters, dancing butterflies.

205
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,698
This little bitch here,
I call the Mexican vasectomy.

206
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,074
Yeah?

207
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,995
Okay, that's in bad taste.
How about this?

208
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,707
This little travel mug I like
to call "The Perfect Woman".

209
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,793
Big old set of boobies,
no head and a handle.

210
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:28,877
Mmm-mmm.

211
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,963
Look, we want to go
in the cave, all right?

212
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,047
Okay, how about this?

213
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,301
Y'all spend $30 on crap,
I'll give you a deluxe tour.

214
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:40,889
It all goes to a great cause. The
Devil's Canyon Resort and Casino!

215
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,810
(MUSIC PLAYING)

216
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,812
Wow. That's nice craft.

217
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,399
Seven thousand luxuriously
appointed rooms.

218
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,320
Three casinos. One convention
center. Ass-tons of parking.

219
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,030
And when everything is complete,

220
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,867
I will turn the tip of this golden
teepee into my personal lair,

221
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:03,495
and I will take a mate and live the
rest of my life with her up here.

222
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,331
And when we fight
and she pisses me off,

223
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,832
I will banish her to this tip,

224
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,585
where she will be kept
as a prisoner and a slave.

225
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,670
Y'all gonna buy anything?

226
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,838
Yeah. Fine.

227
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,761
Hey, Ern! Taking these guys
to the cave. Watch the store.

228
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,391
Close your mouth while you're
breathing, like we talked about.

229
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,060
You're making everybody
over here feel weird.

230
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,026
Prepare to meet your darkest fears

231
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,863
inside the depths of The
Devil's Canyon Mystery Cave!

232
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:38,989
(SIGHS)

233
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:42,409
Rule number one, keep your
arms and legs inside the boat.

234
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:46,121
Rule number two, have a
kick-ass, awesome time.

235
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:50,459
But be warned,
you may get wet.

236
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,045
I'm sorry, "may"?
Actually, I need to know.

237
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,713
This equipment cannot get wet.

238
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,757
Not you. Mary Poppins.

239
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,301
(EXCLAIMING)

240
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,763
Say that again, and I'll drown you.

241
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:03,847
Good to go.

242
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,974
(WHOOPING)

243
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,935
Cave ride begins!

244
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,948
Caveologists say this
old cave is 100 years old

245
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,492
and holds 1,000 mysteries.

246
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:27,830
Or is it 1,000 years
old and 100 mysteries?

247
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:31,667
Well, that, my friends,
is just one of the mysteries.

248
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,379
Say what you will,
the man is a showman.

249
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,508
Without a doubt,
this cave is most infamous

250
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,262
for the legend of the
Devil's Canyon Lizard Man.

251
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:47,266
He's been seen around these
parts since the Pilgrim times.

252
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:51,728
Snapping his claws, hissing,
trying to eat people up,

253
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:56,525
lurking about in the dark,
dark shadows of this very cave.

254
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,360
(LAUGHS EVILLY)

255
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,907
But those are just legends.
Aren't they?

256
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,829
Aren't they?

257
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:11,665
Are you asking us?

258
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,792
No, I'm not. Ernie! Aren't they?

259
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,669
Here it comes, Will.

260
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,087
(WILL SCREAMS)

261
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,756
(WHOOPS) Oh, God!
The Lizard Man!

262
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,343
You're paying for that.

263
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,637
I most definitely am not.

264
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:28,807
You know, I'm sitting here trying to
give you guys a really awesome adventure,

265
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,601
and you guys are giving me
nothing in return.

266
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,312
I got the gloves on,
the hat, the pageantry.

267
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,813
(DEVICE BEEPING)

268
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,441
Holly, I'm getting
a strong tachyon reading.

269
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,985
I think I can boost the hell out
of the signal with a resonant wave.

270
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,028
Well, go for it.

271
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,988
Man, you guys don't even care.

272
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,072
(SHOW TUNE PLAYING)

273
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,908
(SINGING) God, I hope I
get it! I hope I get it

274
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,036
No, no! There are no
show tunes on this ride!

275
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,331
God, I hope I get it!
I hope I get it

276
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,334
How many boys? How many girls?
How many boys? How many girls?

277
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,712
Something's happening.
Is this part of the ride?

278
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,174
No, Hoss, this ain't me.
This is an earthquake.

279
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,300
(DEVICE BEEPING RAPIDLY)

280
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,052
Greatest earthquake ever known!

281
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,930
Marshall, I think
you should turn it off!

282
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:11,850
Marshall, the meter!

283
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,060
Swim, Holly!

284
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,854
We're moving!

285
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,523
WILL: This isn't me! This isn't me!

286
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,358
RICK: Why are we moving so fast?

287
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,110
Do I look like I know what's going on?

288
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,780
(HOWLS)

289
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,409
What's that sound?

290
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,453
Is there a waterfall in here?

291
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,331
Hell, no, dude! This
isn't even a real stream!

292
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,459
It's industrial runoff from the
soap factory down the street!

293
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,589
RICK: What is that? What
is that? What is that?

294
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,424
Oh, God! Oh, shit!

295
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,553
This is not a routine expedition!

296
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:51,223
WILL: Reverse! Reverse! Boat, reverse!

297
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:52,641
It's beautiful!

298
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:54,560
(ALL SCREAMING)

299
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,931
(BREATHING HARD)

300
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,351
I gotta say, I did not see that coming.

301
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,689
Ernie, you bastard.
That was way too fast.

302
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,067
Ernie! Too fast!

303
00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,375
Marshall!

304
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,339
I think you should
come and look at this!

305
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,054
Do you realize what this means?

306
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,890
RICK: Yes! It means

307
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,517
Matt Lauer can suck it!

308
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,979
(RICK WHOOPING)

309
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,149
- Holly, are you rolling?
HOLLY: - Yeah.

310
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,359
WILL: That was
a Viking ship!

311
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,235
- And a Cessna!
- Shut up! Just shut up!

312
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,739
Okay, currently in our party,
me, Dr. Rick Marshall,

313
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,449
doctoral candidate Holly Cantrell,

314
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,368
and some trashy trailer park reject

315
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,244
who smells of malt liquor and feet.

316
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,330
- I'm standing right here!
- I was right. Okay?

317
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,373
Holly, right here.

318
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,666
Just as I predicted, we have been...

319
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,834
We have fallen through a time portal

320
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:46,505
from our Earth to another dimension
where past, present and future

321
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,340
are all mashed up together.

322
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,466
WILL: How the hell did this happen?

323
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,593
My tachyon amplifier,
that's how it happened!

324
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,512
You mean that shitty boom box
pumping show tunes?

325
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,596
Yes, it worked.

326
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,889
Well, where the hell is it?

327
00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,308
Okay, minor setback.

328
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:01,520
My tachyon amplifier, which
undoubtedly will be the only

329
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,855
possible way for us
to open a doorway home,

330
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,107
is nowhere to be seen.

331
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,191
What?

332
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,984
(SQUEALING)

333
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,403
(HOLLY GASPS)
WILL: What the hell was that?

334
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,072
I have no idea, but let's go find out.

335
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,872
(SQUEALING)

336
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,750
HOLLY: - Advanced primates.
RICK: - Yeah.

337
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,794
They've got the posture
of an Australopithecine,

338
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:26,878
but the sagittal crest suggests that...

339
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,046
No, no, no, shut up!

340
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,548
I will not let you ruin this moment.

341
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,718
I've waited my entire life
to see the mighty Bigfoot.

342
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,553
Hey, man, are you touching yourself?

343
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:35,637
Marshall, look!

344
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,180
(SQUEALS)

345
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,640
Oh, my God.

346
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:42,477
Tool construction!
Tool construction!

347
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,062
No, they're gonna kill him!

348
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,897
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

349
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,315
(SHOUTING) No!

350
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,985
Uh-oh!

351
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,699
Okay, you eggheads,
you follow my lead.

352
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,701
I know just how to
party with these guys.

353
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,495
You little monkey bastards!

354
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,039
Prepare to bow down
and worship me!

355
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:09,212
For behold, ye troglodytes,
I command the power of fire.

356
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,007
Will, that's not a good idea.

357
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,051
How do you like me now?
You wanna disco dance with...

358
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,429
Ow! Son of a bitch!

359
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,764
(MOANING)

360
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,934
Well done.

361
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,062
You've now just given murderous
primitives the power of fire.

362
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:41,870
HOLLY: It's all right.

363
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,457
It's all right.
Don't be frightened.

364
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,211
We're friends.

365
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,880
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

366
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,466
Friends.

367
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,759
(SNARLS)
Careful, Holly.

368
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,512
Come on. Come on.

369
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,766
Come on. There we go.

370
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,519
I spent three years at the
Manchester Zoo primate house.

371
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,231
I'm recognizing
a very primitive language.

372
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:14,402
Now, me, Holly.

373
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:19,950
Holly.

374
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,243
Yes! Holly!

375
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:22,911
Horry.

376
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,913
Holly. Me, Holly.

377
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:29,167
You?

378
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,419
Me.

379
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:33,547
Chaka.

380
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,424
Chaka. Chaka! No.

381
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,427
Holly. Chaka.

382
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:40,971
(WHISPERING) Nice work.

383
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:43,849
Yeah. Will. Will.

384
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,937
Good work. Good work, Holly.
Let me take over from here.

385
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:52,774
Greetings.
Chaka! Chaka.

386
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,278
I'm Dr. Rick Marshall.

387
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,781
Dr. Rick Marshall.

388
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,783
Okay?

389
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,287
Let's take a look at that
ankle. Does that sound good?

390
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:11,042
Keep in mind, Chaka, although I'm a
doctor, I'm not a licensed physician.

391
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,795
Okay? I'm just gonna
take a little look.

392
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,880
(GROWLS)

393
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,632
How dare you? How dare
you? I mean you no harm!

394
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,217
- I mean you no harm!
- Marshall! Marshall! Marshall!

395
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,136
RICK: Don't you run
from me, you little shit!

396
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,389
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Now you're dead!

397
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,224
(ALL SCREAMING)

398
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,356
(ALL COUGHING)

399
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,108
RICK: Damn you, Chaka.

400
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,735
Now, was that
necessary?

401
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,194
(SNARLING)

402
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,907
Marshall, Marshall,
wait, you'll scare him.

403
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:42,991
What was that?

404
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,576
Look, he was never
in any danger, okay?

405
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:49,080
Chaka. Friend.
Safety. Safety. Safety!

406
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,333
Holly, tell him.

407
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,294
Marshall! Marshall!

408
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:58,423
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

409
00:20:58,507 --> 00:20:59,758
Here...

410
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:01,927
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

411
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:05,221
(EXCLAIMS)

412
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:07,349
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

413
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,644
Well, that's more like it.
Holly, what did you tell him?

414
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:15,273
I think I told him that you're a
great chief, and you're very powerful,

415
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,026
and I think he's pledging
his lifelong loyalty to you.

416
00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,363
That's hardly necessary,
my little friend,

417
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,365
but I will honor your customs.

418
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:24,950
And you may serve me.

419
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,368
(LAUGHING)

420
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:31,206
In return, I will be a fair
but very strict master.

421
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,876
Okay. Off! Off!

422
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,631
What is wrong with you people?
That sandpit swallowed us!

423
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,592
I mean, can you all please act like
this doesn't happen every single day?

424
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,636
You're starting to make
me feel really stupid.

425
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,305
RICK: Okay, okay, hold on.
Let's gather ourselves.

426
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:48,682
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Take a deep breath in.

427
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,393
(BOTH SCREAMING)

428
00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:52,894
(SCREAMS) Oh, my God!

429
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,313
(SQUEALING)

430
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,233
(ALL GASPING)

431
00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:06,533
RICK: Fortunately, I've been in this
exact situation three times before.

432
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:08,952
WILL: When? When have you ever
been in this situation before?

433
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,454
RICK: I've never been
in this situation before!

434
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:12,664
I'm just trying
to keep up morale.

435
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,416
(ROARING)

436
00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:18,503
God, I sure hope
that was a coyote.

437
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:26,344
Good God!
It's a feeding station!

438
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,431
If anyone knows about
meal presentation, it's me.

439
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,182
Oh, God! Oh, God!

440
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,059
Grab hands!
Create some momentum.

441
00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:34,436
Let's swing
over to that tree.

442
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,522
(GRUNTING)

443
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,940
Extension.

444
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,276
WILL: Okay. Reach.

445
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,572
RICK: Good form, everyone!

446
00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:48,450
Working in concert!

447
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,952
Don't be afraid to point the toe.

448
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,123
One more.
One more should do it.

449
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,375
(ROARING)

450
00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:00,170
(ALL SCREAMING)

451
00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,973
Everybody move out! Chaka,
your master commands you to...

452
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:16,311
Bad Chaka! Your loyalty
is now in question!

453
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,107
WILL: That was a dinosaur!

454
00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:23,485
RICK: T. Rex!
Definitely in predator mode.

455
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,071
WILL: Will you hurry up?
You're slowing us down!

456
00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,697
Why are you wearing high heels?

457
00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:29,657
RICK: They're not high heels.
They're my Florsheim zipper boots.

458
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,285
Why are you wearing Florsheims
on a field expedition?

459
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,245
I told you I was not prepped
to go into the field!

460
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:35,580
(ROARING)

461
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:39,417
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait! We need a photo.

462
00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:40,668
Nice field skills, Holly!

463
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,170
- Will, stand over there.
- What?

464
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,339
This is proof I'm right,
and I want photos.

465
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,632
Stand there.
We need you for scale.

466
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:46,758
Scale?

467
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,927
Marshall, do we need
the red eye feature?

468
00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:50,887
Yes, his eyes do look red.

469
00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:52,931
Jesus Christ, just take the
picture! Okay, just stand still!

470
00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:54,682
- Stand still, please.
- Okay, ready.

471
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,476
One, two, three!

472
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,853
Fantastic.
Run! Run like hell!

473
00:24:01,816 --> 00:24:03,358
Where the hell's the monkey?

474
00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:11,282
Look! Chaka's waiting for us
at the other end of the bridge!

475
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,368
Good Chaka!
Your master's pleased!

476
00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:15,036
(GRUNTING)

477
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:18,832
Marshall, it really looks like
he's trying to destroy the bridge.

478
00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:20,083
Chaka, wait!

479
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,501
Master not pleased!

480
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,138
It's okay.
He can't cross.

481
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,390
He has terrible
depth perception.

482
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,684
He thinks this chasm's
a million miles long.

483
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:41,729
He's not what you'd call
an athlete, Mr. T. Rex.

484
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:46,276
See? He's walking away
in utter helpless defeat.

485
00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:50,029
After all, his brain is
the size of a walnut.

486
00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:52,282
Sure, his sense
of smell may be acute,

487
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:54,868
but eyesight, hearing,
all of his higher functions

488
00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,996
completely compromised by
that walnut-sized brainpan.

489
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,206
I mean, forget
about the Polish.

490
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:03,001
It's the T. Rexes who are
the real dummies of the world.

491
00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,794
In fact, Chaka,
funny story...

492
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,129
(ROARING)

493
00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:11,259
RICK: Frigging run!

494
00:25:13,804 --> 00:25:15,430
RICK: Follow the monkey!

495
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,015
Cave!

496
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:32,739
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

497
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,617
He's looking
at you, Marshall.

498
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,577
No. No.
He's watching you.

499
00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:39,120
He's looking at everyone.

500
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,623
No, I'm certain he's looking at you.

501
00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:57,138
He is grumpy.

502
00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:58,890
(SIGHS)

503
00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,142
I think that's what we
should call him, Grumpy.

504
00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:02,977
Yeah, that's a cute name.

505
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:04,687
(ROARING)

506
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:08,274
Is he gone?

507
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,359
Yeah.

508
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,028
Pussy.

509
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:15,949
What a puss.

510
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,996
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.

511
00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:27,627
This'll work just fine.
We'll call this base camp.

512
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,295
No, no, no, no, no, no.

513
00:26:29,380 --> 00:26:32,757
We cannot stay here. Bad
things happen in caves, folks.

514
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:33,841
Watch your movies.

515
00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,927
Guys, can we just please
take a minute to absorb this?

516
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:40,765
(SIGHS) I mean, we must be the first
people to ever set foot in this world.

517
00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,183
It's incredible!

518
00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:44,519
(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

519
00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:12,672
Oh, God, we're screwed.

520
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,051
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON RECORD PLAYER)

521
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,897
No, no. No. No.

522
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,153
Chaka, no! No.

523
00:27:35,738 --> 00:27:36,946
Go on.

524
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,494
Okay, you know what?

525
00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,496
I don't want Chaka sleeping
in the cave tonight.

526
00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:47,290
Whoa! Not cool, dude.

527
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:49,834
No, it's a reasonable
precaution, all right?

528
00:27:49,918 --> 00:27:51,336
He was just about to be executed,

529
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:53,588
and I think he might have
done something to deserve it.

530
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:56,799
Hey, my man is right here.
Obviously he has feelings, okay?

531
00:27:56,884 --> 00:27:58,009
RICK: He doesn't have feelings.

532
00:27:58,093 --> 00:27:59,177
Man, come on, look at him.

533
00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:00,970
He's adorable.
He's a little cuddle machine.

534
00:28:01,055 --> 00:28:02,055
RICK: What?

535
00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:04,223
WILL: Yeah, the least you could
do is let him defend himself.

536
00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,352
I don't speak monkey anyhow. Do you?

537
00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,228
No, I don't.
I didn't think so.

538
00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,646
Here, let me try.

539
00:28:11,857 --> 00:28:13,066
Chaka?

540
00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:20,239
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

541
00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,868
He says he's a prince
amongst his people.

542
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:24,952
Right.

543
00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:28,581
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

544
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:33,586
The victim of a treacherous
plot to steal his throne.

545
00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:38,716
And the only thing
he's ever guilty of was...

546
00:28:39,802 --> 00:28:40,843
Is love.

547
00:28:40,928 --> 00:28:41,886
Aw!

548
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,137
Oh, brother.
Give me a break.

549
00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:48,059
And he's been treated far too harshly
for the very simple crime of...

550
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:49,894
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

551
00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,479
Pooping in the village well.

552
00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,815
That's why you're not
sleeping in the cave.

553
00:28:54,316 --> 00:28:56,526
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

554
00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:58,986
I can't tell anymore.

555
00:29:02,199 --> 00:29:03,574
(SNARLING)

556
00:29:04,326 --> 00:29:06,828
Hey, mister, fuck you.

557
00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:08,287
(GROWLING)

558
00:29:10,624 --> 00:29:12,458
Hold on, hold on.
Where you going with that?

559
00:29:12,543 --> 00:29:14,293
I'm just gonna block the
first point of egress here

560
00:29:14,378 --> 00:29:15,378
so that we're not vulnerable.

561
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:18,714
No, no. Bless your heart.

562
00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:21,467
Classic tenderfoot mistake.

563
00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:24,595
Don't beat yourself up
over it. Here's the thing.

564
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,598
Never put anything near the mouth
of the cave to draw attention to us.

565
00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,058
Did you not just see
that we drew the attention

566
00:29:29,143 --> 00:29:31,561
of a highly intelligent
psycho dinosaur?

567
00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:33,521
Look, I think
the Ph. D. after my name

568
00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:36,107
means I know a little
something about dinosaurs.

569
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:38,985
Dinosaurs are creatures
of brute instinct.

570
00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:41,946
Like I've said before, it's got
a brain the size of a walnut.

571
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,323
Okay? You got me?
A walnut.

572
00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:45,825
Now think about...

573
00:29:45,909 --> 00:29:46,909
(RUMBLING)

574
00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:48,703
What's that? What's that?

575
00:30:12,436 --> 00:30:14,687
Sweet Gregor Mendel.

576
00:30:14,938 --> 00:30:16,647
What is it?

577
00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:20,318
It's a walnut.

578
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,821
(SNARLING)

579
00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:30,369
Well, obviously this is
between you and him.

580
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,959
Day two. 0600, Zulu Time.

581
00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:41,339
Did not sleep last night
at all, not one bit.

582
00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:46,093
Still no sign of the tachyon
amplifier, our only way home.

583
00:30:47,596 --> 00:30:50,765
Field rations are
running dangerously low.

584
00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:55,520
Thusly, I've made the
determination that, if need be,

585
00:30:55,604 --> 00:31:00,608
if faced with starvation,
we will cook and eat Chaka.

586
00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:04,695
I've been thinking
about this a lot, actually.

587
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:08,616
If Chaka meat were the secret
ingredient on Iron Chef,

588
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,077
I'm sure Bobby Flay
would probably serve it

589
00:31:11,161 --> 00:31:15,957
with roasted red peppers and a
dash of cumin and a braised polenta.

590
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,584
It wouldn't be
an easy thing to do,

591
00:31:18,669 --> 00:31:21,045
but if you slow roast
the little guy,

592
00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:24,048
I'm sure that Chaka meat would
just fall right off the bone.

593
00:31:24,967 --> 00:31:26,008
(CHAKA EXCLAIMS)

594
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:27,927
Food train coming through!

595
00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:30,221
HOLLY: Fantastic!
I'm absolutely starving.

596
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,473
And fresh fruit. It's
like morning at Wimbledon.

597
00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:36,811
Hold on a second there, Holly. I don't
recognize that genus of succulent.

598
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,855
Perhaps the native
inhabitant can help us.

599
00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:43,943
Chaka. Rick Marshall. Chaka.

600
00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:47,029
Are they safe? To eat?

601
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:49,115
Eat? Eat?

602
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:53,661
Eat. Marashalla.

603
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,413
Eat. Eat.

604
00:31:55,497 --> 00:31:59,458
Thank you, Chaka. Thank you
so much for listening to me.

605
00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:03,129
Sorry for doubting you,
my little friend.

606
00:32:03,297 --> 00:32:06,382
Has a pungent flavor.
Smells good. Very meaty...

607
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:08,384
(SCREAMING)

608
00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:11,262
Jesus, Chaka! What the hell?

609
00:32:17,019 --> 00:32:19,437
Friends?

610
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:21,606
(SIGHS)

611
00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:25,026
Well. Yes, technically, I guess.

612
00:32:25,569 --> 00:32:27,612
However, I am your master.

613
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:31,282
Okay? We have entered
into a verbal contract.

614
00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:33,117
You need to understand that. Okay?

615
00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:34,952
(SHRILL RINGING)

616
00:32:35,037 --> 00:32:36,662
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

617
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,750
Holly! Quick! To the cave
mouth. Sentry positions.

618
00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:52,470
Looks like a plasma
discharge. Or maybe beta rays!

619
00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:53,638
(GROANS)

620
00:32:53,722 --> 00:32:57,183
Marshall?
Marshall! Marshall!

621
00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:02,855
Help me, please.

622
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,899
I will.

623
00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:08,486
Marshall! Marshall,
where are you going?

624
00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:10,905
Someone or something
knows we're here!

625
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:12,490
It's in my head,
calling to me!

626
00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:14,075
Step back, Holly!

627
00:33:14,368 --> 00:33:15,618
What are you doing?

628
00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,953
I've seen this before.
He's got the jungle madness.

629
00:33:18,038 --> 00:33:20,331
We gotta put him down while
he still has some dignity left.

630
00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:21,499
Chaka, let's roll!

631
00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:22,625
What?

632
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:25,961
Friends! Friends!

633
00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:33,094
You see?
This is the place!

634
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:35,930
A beacon.

635
00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:39,558
A transmitter, tapping directly
into my prefrontal lobe.

636
00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:44,939
- What the hell?
- Stop it!

637
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:46,524
Well, I'll be.

638
00:33:46,608 --> 00:33:48,317
I guess you weren't crazy.

639
00:33:48,402 --> 00:33:51,320
Okay. I'm man enough
to say that's my bad.

640
00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:54,824
HOLLY: Wow. That's
incredible. The architecture.

641
00:33:54,908 --> 00:33:57,535
It's almost like the Olmec
culture of Mesoamerica.

642
00:33:57,619 --> 00:33:59,829
Reminds me of the Prudential building.

643
00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:01,622
(SOFTLY) No!

644
00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:03,457
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

645
00:34:08,130 --> 00:34:10,923
WILL: I'll bet somebody's
growing weed in here.

646
00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:19,098
RICK: You feel that?
That ambient energy?

647
00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:20,891
Just like at Devil's Canyon.

648
00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:22,017
HOLLY: Yep.

649
00:34:22,102 --> 00:34:23,728
Tachyon radiation.

650
00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:26,272
Marshall, the meter can't be far.

651
00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:27,356
(SQUEALING)

652
00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:34,488
WILL: Holy shit.

653
00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:37,908
Finally, something cool, huh?
What, no reaction?

654
00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:40,453
You guys have seen that
before, too, I take it, huh?

655
00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:41,996
In your lab.

656
00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:44,582
What's this thing?

657
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:47,918
Hey, maybe this is where our ancient
ancestors hosted the Latin Grammys.

658
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:51,005
Just picture Santana
hauling this sucker home.

659
00:34:51,965 --> 00:34:53,257
(BUZZING)

660
00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:54,467
And it vibrates!

661
00:34:54,551 --> 00:34:56,343
I wouldn't touch that, all right?

662
00:34:57,095 --> 00:35:00,598
(SINGING WITH DISTORTED VOICE)
Do you believe in life after love?

663
00:35:00,682 --> 00:35:02,933
That is so dumb and childish.

664
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:07,021
(SINGING) Do you believe
in life after love?

665
00:35:07,898 --> 00:35:11,400
Will, will you please be quiet?
Dr. Marshall needs silence.

666
00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:14,653
(SINGING WITH DISTORTED VOICE)
I can feel something inside me say

667
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:19,200
(BOTH SINGING) I really don't
think you're strong enough, oh!

668
00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:21,786
- Wow!
- Yeah.

669
00:35:21,870 --> 00:35:22,870
I can really feel it in my forearms.

670
00:35:22,996 --> 00:35:24,455
Yeah, usually you have to
pay for something like this.

671
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:25,831
Oh, gosh.

672
00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:28,125
Holly, you should sit on this.

673
00:35:28,210 --> 00:35:29,210
CHAKA: No! No!

674
00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:31,295
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

675
00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:33,756
Hmm? What?

676
00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:38,219
What is it, Chaka?
What did you say?

677
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:40,638
What is he saying?

678
00:35:40,722 --> 00:35:42,306
I don't know. It's the
same thing over and over.

679
00:35:42,390 --> 00:35:44,016
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

680
00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:45,851
Chorizo tacos.

681
00:35:45,936 --> 00:35:47,645
Are you saying "chorizo tacos"?

682
00:35:47,729 --> 00:35:50,105
Don't play around,
because I am super hungry.

683
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,232
No.

684
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:52,316
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

685
00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:54,693
What the hell does that mean?

686
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,406
Well, I'm afraid we'll never know.

687
00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:09,500
Oh! Okay.

688
00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:15,172
Oh, shit, it's not chorizo tacos.

689
00:36:15,632 --> 00:36:19,426
No immediate danger.
Cold-blooded and slow.

690
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,763
(WHISPERING) I repeat,
no immediate danger.

691
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:23,848
Will you stop that?

692
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:25,766
Please!
You are freaking me out!

693
00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:32,648
WILL: Oh, gosh.
They're everywhere.

694
00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:36,652
They're just like zombies. That's
how zombies get you. Volume!

695
00:36:37,279 --> 00:36:38,445
We're all gonna die.

696
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,697
HOLLY: Like hell.

697
00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:42,867
I'm gonna take at least one
of these bastards with me,

698
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:44,952
even if he has to choke
to death on my skull!

699
00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:46,245
Oh!

700
00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,581
What, do you want some, too, do you?

701
00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:50,875
WILL: What are you guys doing?

702
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:52,251
One second.

703
00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:04,471
What in the hell?

704
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:08,767
Get in!

705
00:37:10,937 --> 00:37:11,896
Oh, God.

706
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,480
Wait, stand down, Holly.

707
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:15,232
All right.

708
00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:16,859
- Hang on.
- Yeah.

709
00:37:16,943 --> 00:37:18,235
Hang on,
I think we're safe!

710
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,487
They don't seem to be able to
make it through the entrance.

711
00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:23,240
Thank God for that. That one
keeps peering into my soul.

712
00:37:23,325 --> 00:37:25,075
Well, this is
just fantastic.

713
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,827
We're gonna just stand
in here and suffocate

714
00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:31,957
in this tiny,
little huge thingie?

715
00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:34,543
RICK: Wow, that is
an efficient use of space.

716
00:37:34,628 --> 00:37:36,670
WILL: It's like
Snoopy's doghouse.

717
00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:38,255
(MOANS)

718
00:37:38,340 --> 00:37:42,092
Look, there's a gold one.
Let's stomp its head in.

719
00:37:42,844 --> 00:37:44,470
Do not fear me.

720
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:48,057
I am Enik the Altrusian.

721
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,394
Thank Vindok you've come
to my aid, Rick Marshall.

722
00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:54,480
- You know me?
- Of course.

723
00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:56,774
Even in the farthest
reaches of the universe,

724
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:59,068
we have seen your Matt Lauer video.

725
00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,696
I am a prisoner
in this land of the lost.

726
00:38:03,073 --> 00:38:05,324
Only you can help me escape.

727
00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:08,702
The fate of the universe depends on you.

728
00:38:09,371 --> 00:38:12,831
Well. That's very flattering, Enik,

729
00:38:14,084 --> 00:38:15,793
but I think you've
found the wrong guy. I...

730
00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:16,961
No, Rick Marshall.

731
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:20,923
I have summoned you here specifically
to help me stop an evil madman

732
00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:26,220
who has already conquered my world
and now plans to conquer yours.

733
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:30,265
His name is the Zarn.

734
00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:34,228
I am the Zarn! Heed my
warning or be destroyed!

735
00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:37,773
The Zarn became obsessed with
using the power of these crystals

736
00:38:37,899 --> 00:38:39,733
to conquer the universe.

737
00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:44,029
If he is not stopped, he will
open a doorway to your world

738
00:38:44,114 --> 00:38:49,159
and lead his army of Sleestak on
a rampage across time and space.

739
00:38:50,161 --> 00:38:51,912
He must be stopped.

740
00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:54,498
Enik, buddy.

741
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:58,002
I'm a scientist.
You're a scientist.

742
00:38:58,086 --> 00:39:01,171
I think together you and I
can figure this out. Now...

743
00:39:01,715 --> 00:39:03,090
You mustn't touch the crystals!

744
00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:04,174
Okay!

745
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:05,968
The wrong manipulation of the crystals

746
00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:09,179
could turn time and space inside out.

747
00:39:09,931 --> 00:39:11,015
What do you need from us?

748
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:15,102
The Zarn lacks only one thing
to enact his evil plan.

749
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:20,107
A device to amplify tachyons and
unleash the full power of the crystals.

750
00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:23,569
Well, Marshall's created a device
that isolates tachyon interference.

751
00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:24,903
Yeah, I did that.

752
00:39:24,988 --> 00:39:26,238
Of course.

753
00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:30,826
With tachyon particles focused
along the proper temporal vector

754
00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:32,661
a stable passageway
can be opened... Opened

755
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,580
- to any point in the space
- to any point in the space

756
00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,040
- time continuum!
- time continuum!

757
00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:37,332
(BOTH GASPING)

758
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:38,834
You and I are so smart!

759
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:42,546
Rick Marshall, I knew
instantly you could help me.

760
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:44,048
Thank you.

761
00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:46,884
You are a truly
advanced intellect.

762
00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:49,720
I don't know how you
manage amongst these others.

763
00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:52,139
I don't know how I do,
either. I really don't!

764
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:53,348
Excuse me!

765
00:39:53,433 --> 00:39:55,642
You have this tachyon amplifier?

766
00:39:56,269 --> 00:39:58,687
I lost it on the way,
and I don't know where.

767
00:39:58,772 --> 00:40:00,064
It could be lost in time.
On the contrary.

768
00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:02,399
I detect it nearby. It...

769
00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:06,236
Strange. I cannot precisely
pinpoint its location.

770
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:08,405
It moves.

771
00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:10,365
Leave it to us.

772
00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:12,076
If it's out there, we'll find it.

773
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,119
(WHISPERING)
Not so fast, amigo.

774
00:40:14,204 --> 00:40:17,873
Little rule I live by, "Never
trust a dude in a tunic. "

775
00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:19,583
(WHISPERING)
You live by that rule?

776
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,293
Yes. It's never led me astray.

777
00:40:21,377 --> 00:40:23,796
All right, come on. Enik,
are you well enough to travel?

778
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:28,592
No. My place is here in the
pylon. I must protect the crystals.

779
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:31,762
If you wish to return home,
these crystals are the doorway.

780
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:36,183
Your device is the key.
Find it before the Zarn does.

781
00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:41,814
Bring it to me and rescue
us all. Rescue the universe!

782
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,778
All right, everyone, gather around!

783
00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:49,446
Let's go! Chop-chop!

784
00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:50,739
Hustle up.

785
00:40:50,824 --> 00:40:52,324
Marshall, did you just make that?

786
00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:56,078
Yeah. Yeah, I'm a bit
of a miniatures enthusiast.

787
00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:58,080
It's very impressive.

788
00:40:58,164 --> 00:40:59,164
Thank you.

789
00:40:59,249 --> 00:41:02,042
Yeah, well, I see some
obvious scaling issues, but...

790
00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:03,710
I think
it's pretty damn good.

791
00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,047
All right, we are here.

792
00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:09,591
As you can see,
desert, forest.

793
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:12,136
What's this look like?

794
00:41:12,220 --> 00:41:13,220
It's the cave.

795
00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:14,513
That's the cave.
That's where we're living.

796
00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:16,223
Standard volcano. Okay?

797
00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:21,145
Now, I will tether Will to
this hot air balloon right here.

798
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:24,565
Okay? And it will be fitted with
a crude tachyon reflector-array

799
00:41:24,649 --> 00:41:26,942
that I fashioned out of a thermal
blanket and a cell phone charger.

800
00:41:27,026 --> 00:41:28,777
I don't remember ever
volunteering for that.

801
00:41:28,862 --> 00:41:31,572
Holly, you and I will
follow Will's directions

802
00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:34,491
as he searches for the
telltale ping of the missing

803
00:41:34,576 --> 00:41:37,661
and still presumably
operational tachyon meter.

804
00:41:37,745 --> 00:41:39,037
(ROARING)

805
00:41:40,039 --> 00:41:41,373
Oh, God, he's close.

806
00:41:41,457 --> 00:41:42,749
I've taken care of that.

807
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:44,960
During the course
of my professional career,

808
00:41:45,044 --> 00:41:48,589
I've done extensive research with
reptiles and various birds of prey,

809
00:41:48,673 --> 00:41:49,756
of which dinosaurs are.

810
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,008
Well, that's disputable.

811
00:41:51,092 --> 00:41:52,634
Please be quiet.

812
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,678
They have a very
acute sense of smell.

813
00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:56,471
And now while I've gathered this

814
00:41:56,556 --> 00:41:59,391
strictly for genetic research
to be used upon our return,

815
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:04,104
I think it would prove wise to
use this now. Hadrosaur urine.

816
00:42:04,647 --> 00:42:05,647
We are going
to cover our...

817
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,191
Wait. What is that?

818
00:42:07,901 --> 00:42:10,027
Hadrosaur urine.

819
00:42:10,111 --> 00:42:11,111
How'd you get that?

820
00:42:11,821 --> 00:42:12,905
Well, while you were sleeping,

821
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:15,240
I'm out gathering research. Okay?

822
00:42:15,325 --> 00:42:17,868
This was to be used
for genetic engineering,

823
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:21,038
and I was going to write a
report on kidney function,

824
00:42:21,122 --> 00:42:24,708
but now it'll just be camouflage.
We'll all blend in. Okay?

825
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:26,043
So we will cover ourselves...

826
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,086
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

827
00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:29,171
I'm just trying
to figure this out.

828
00:42:29,255 --> 00:42:30,339
(SIGHING) Oh, my God!

829
00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:33,008
So you've been gathering urine.

830
00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:35,886
Yes. What's the problem?

831
00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:39,681
That means that you stood
under a dino dong with a bucket.

832
00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:47,731
If you want to be technical and reduce
it to its basest element, yes, I was.

833
00:42:49,192 --> 00:42:51,318
How'd that work out for you?

834
00:42:51,444 --> 00:42:52,736
Are you honestly asking me?

835
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,071
Yeah.

836
00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:59,576
It's very peaceful. It's a
little bit like fly fishing.

837
00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:03,330
Just out there in the
night air. Still. Calm.

838
00:43:04,165 --> 00:43:06,708
And then, zing!
You get a big catch.

839
00:43:07,502 --> 00:43:10,295
Okay. So we'll cover
our bodies in urine,

840
00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:13,590
and then we'll be virtually
undetectable to all dinosaurs.

841
00:43:13,675 --> 00:43:15,008
(ROARING)

842
00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:18,971
All right. Here they come. Should
have thought of this a long time ago.

843
00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:24,184
Whoo!

844
00:43:24,269 --> 00:43:25,644
That's refreshing!

845
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:28,438
Make sure to ingest some.
Get that in the bloodstream.

846
00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:30,357
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

847
00:43:35,238 --> 00:43:36,822
Don't do that.

848
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:40,659
Okay, who's next?

849
00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:45,038
- Really.
- It's not that bad.

850
00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:47,958
Check that.

851
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:51,878
Just starting to burn in my eyes
a little bit. Did not plan for that.

852
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,132
It gets up in the nostrils,
too. You do not want that.

853
00:43:57,885 --> 00:44:00,470
Wow. That's early morning stuff.

854
00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:03,473
That is strong!

855
00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,019
Maybe a second splash will
reduce some of the effects.

856
00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:10,897
Immediately made it worse.

857
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,443
Where's my laser pointer?
Never mind.

858
00:44:14,527 --> 00:44:17,070
We will probably have to be doing...

859
00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:19,156
(GROANS)

860
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:21,158
Ow!

861
00:44:21,242 --> 00:44:23,493
(CHAKA SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

862
00:44:23,578 --> 00:44:24,953
Who's that?

863
00:44:25,038 --> 00:44:26,288
(HUMMING)

864
00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:32,419
Maybe we should just follow
him. Nice model, though.

865
00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:36,757
Yeah, fine, let's forget my
model and let's follow the monkey.

866
00:44:39,427 --> 00:44:40,969
(CHAKA HUMMING)

867
00:44:43,765 --> 00:44:45,349
RICK: Shut up, Chaka!

868
00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:48,602
Are we there yet?

869
00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:50,854
You find this
funny, Chaka?

870
00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:54,191
This is the damn Bataan
Death March out here.

871
00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:03,033
HOLLY: My God!

872
00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:04,826
RICK: Absolutely incredible.

873
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,663
HOLLY: This must be the main
entry point into this world.

874
00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:12,667
RICK: It's like a cosmic lost and found.

875
00:45:13,461 --> 00:45:15,379
WILL: Wow, look at all
this kick-ass shit to steal.

876
00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:17,255
This is like the world's greatest mall.

877
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:18,882
Yeah, Will, it's just like a mall.

878
00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:21,134
The only thing it's
missing is a food court!

879
00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:23,887
Compsognathus!
Look how they move!

880
00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:26,932
Wow. Where are all these
chupacabras going to?

881
00:45:27,016 --> 00:45:28,892
I'll tell you where they're going to.

882
00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:31,728
Our raft. The tachyon
meter can't be far.

883
00:45:31,813 --> 00:45:34,981
Our raft? That's my raft!
Get away from there!

884
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:36,316
WILL: Stop pecking on my raft!

885
00:45:38,444 --> 00:45:39,403
There's your food court.

886
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:41,238
(MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKER)

887
00:45:42,365 --> 00:45:43,365
Ice cream.

888
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:44,616
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?

889
00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:46,493
What? I'm gonna go pony up
and get Chaka a cone.

890
00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:47,911
- It's his first.
- No, there's a reason

891
00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,997
why those dinosaurs hang
out there. They know.

892
00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:52,416
They know what?

893
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:53,834
It's feeding time.

894
00:45:54,335 --> 00:45:55,669
(SQUEALING)

895
00:46:18,776 --> 00:46:20,193
(SCREAMING)

896
00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:26,241
- Whoa!
- Whoa!

897
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:27,617
(ROARING)

898
00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:34,458
An Allosaurus. Female.

899
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:35,542
Yeah.

900
00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:39,296
RICK: We're in luck.

901
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:41,882
These large predators
are extremely territorial.

902
00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,468
Virtually nothing will
distract them from each other.

903
00:46:44,552 --> 00:46:46,094
(BOTH SNIFFING)

904
00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:50,974
Crap balls!

905
00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,100
What do you know?

906
00:46:52,185 --> 00:46:55,604
This is one of those situations where
dumping piss on your head's a bad idea.

907
00:46:55,688 --> 00:46:56,771
Run!

908
00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:01,318
Lead, Chaka!

909
00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:04,029
Lead your master to safety!

910
00:47:05,907 --> 00:47:07,741
Hey! Chaka!

911
00:47:08,117 --> 00:47:09,659
Chaka, no!

912
00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:12,287
Why? You're a little asshole, Chaka!

913
00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:17,667
Spread out!
It'll confuse him!

914
00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:19,669
Try running in a serpentine pattern!

915
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:22,631
He's incapable of rapid
course correction!

916
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,217
Serpentine, everyone!

917
00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:28,637
Serpentine! Serpentine! Serpentine!

918
00:47:28,888 --> 00:47:29,888
(SCREAMS)

919
00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:32,807
Serpentine! Serpentine!

920
00:47:33,226 --> 00:47:34,643
Serpentine!

921
00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:37,187
Son of a tit!

922
00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:40,607
Hey, Marshall, you ever
get tired of being wrong?

923
00:47:41,442 --> 00:47:44,444
I do. I really do.
Bone tired.

924
00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:47,989
Get on your horse, Rick Marshall.

925
00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:53,203
They're working as a pair.

926
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,082
Fascinating but terrifying.

927
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:06,258
(SNIFFING)

928
00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:21,565
No!

929
00:48:21,649 --> 00:48:22,983
Marshall!

930
00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:26,152
RICK: Still here!
I hope you're taping this!

931
00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:27,904
HOLLY: I got it!

932
00:48:27,989 --> 00:48:29,781
(ROARING)

933
00:48:39,667 --> 00:48:42,085
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKER)

934
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:55,682
I don't want to... I don't
want to die in a Hummer!

935
00:49:07,361 --> 00:49:08,653
It's a massacre.

936
00:49:08,738 --> 00:49:10,113
(SQUEAKING)

937
00:49:11,574 --> 00:49:12,866
Quiet!

938
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:23,251
(BURPS)

939
00:49:23,336 --> 00:49:24,502
Gross.

940
00:49:32,553 --> 00:49:34,220
RICK: Set the catapult!

941
00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:36,348
What?

942
00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:38,183
Set the catapult!

943
00:49:39,101 --> 00:49:40,226
What?

944
00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:42,395
Set the F-ing catapult!

945
00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:43,813
This thing?

946
00:49:43,898 --> 00:49:45,482
RICK: Catapult, now!

947
00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:47,442
No, no, no, no!
Take her that way!

948
00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:48,943
Go that way!

949
00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:50,362
Just do it!

950
00:49:50,446 --> 00:49:51,488
Come on.

951
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,989
How the hell do you set a catapult?

952
00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:54,949
I don't know.
Just turn it.

953
00:49:55,701 --> 00:49:58,745
One! Two!

954
00:49:59,455 --> 00:50:00,664
Three!

955
00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:02,040
(ROARING)

956
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,711
Crank that thing!

957
00:50:08,923 --> 00:50:10,590
Oh, God. Oh, God.

958
00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:12,592
Crank that mother!

959
00:50:12,802 --> 00:50:14,511
I'm coming in hot!

960
00:50:14,595 --> 00:50:16,262
(BLOWING WHISTLE)

961
00:50:18,099 --> 00:50:19,516
Keep going!

962
00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:21,726
Put your backs into it.

963
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:24,270
Package has arrived.

964
00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:25,689
What's the package?

965
00:50:25,773 --> 00:50:27,482
It's a canister
of refrigerant.

966
00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:29,609
Hit it now!

967
00:50:42,623 --> 00:50:43,998
(EXCLAIMS)

968
00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:46,042
I did not expect that.

969
00:50:54,135 --> 00:50:55,385
(GRUNTS)

970
00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:57,220
(SHOW TUNE PLAYING)

971
00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:03,184
Gay show tunes!

972
00:51:03,269 --> 00:51:06,396
Cassie. Bebe.
Tachyon meter!

973
00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:08,189
(SINGING) Still it isn't over

974
00:51:08,274 --> 00:51:10,567
We did it! We're saved!

975
00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:13,111
Look at all the people!

976
00:51:23,748 --> 00:51:25,206
(WHISPERING) That blows.

977
00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:28,626
That blows.

978
00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:46,561
Marshall?

979
00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:50,106
What are you doing?

980
00:51:50,191 --> 00:51:51,524
(SIGHS)

981
00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:53,193
I'm giving up.

982
00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:55,445
And it feels good.

983
00:51:55,529 --> 00:52:00,450
But what about finding a way home
and validation for your life's work?

984
00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:02,952
You're just gonna give all
that up just to lie here?

985
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,454
No, of course not.

986
00:52:04,914 --> 00:52:07,499
Lying here is just
Phase One of the plan.

987
00:52:07,583 --> 00:52:09,709
It's Phase Two that
gets me really excited.

988
00:52:10,211 --> 00:52:13,630
It involves adjusting
the angle of my recline

989
00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:16,382
and putting this hand
halfway down my pants.

990
00:52:16,467 --> 00:52:18,676
Deceptively simple,
yet elegant.

991
00:52:18,761 --> 00:52:23,139
Yep. I tried, I failed,
and you know what?

992
00:52:23,224 --> 00:52:25,225
Once again,
it's my own damned vault.

993
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:26,309
You mean "fault. "

994
00:52:26,393 --> 00:52:30,563
No, I actually mean "vault. " It's
from a poster with a pole vaulter on it.

995
00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:32,148
That's really
freaking stupid, man.

996
00:52:32,233 --> 00:52:33,900
You know, actually, I can't
even believe I'm hearing this.

997
00:52:33,984 --> 00:52:35,693
Any scientist in his right
mind would give his...

998
00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:37,987
Initiating Phase Two.

999
00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:41,241
(IMITATING MACHINERY BUZZING)

1000
00:52:42,034 --> 00:52:45,620
Do you know how I first
heard about you? As a joke.

1001
00:52:45,704 --> 00:52:48,039
First year at Cambridge, we used
to e-mail your little appearance

1002
00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:50,166
with Matt Lauer
around for a laugh.

1003
00:52:50,251 --> 00:52:52,001
I mean, as YouTube
Hall of Fame moments goes,

1004
00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:54,128
it was Lauer versus Marshall,

1005
00:52:54,213 --> 00:52:57,507
and then that monkey pissing
in his own face. In that order.

1006
00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:00,802
But I wasn't laughing,
because I was fascinated.

1007
00:53:00,886 --> 00:53:03,137
I saw a man who was willing
to swim dangerous waters

1008
00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:04,764
for the sake
of his need to know.

1009
00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:06,683
I took that to heart,
Dr. Marshall.

1010
00:53:06,767 --> 00:53:08,059
I committed myself
to your theories,

1011
00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:10,144
and then I got tossed
out of Cambridge for it.

1012
00:53:10,771 --> 00:53:13,147
For my theories,
you threw your future away?

1013
00:53:13,232 --> 00:53:15,775
Yeah, that's what
everyone told me.

1014
00:53:16,277 --> 00:53:18,987
But I didn't believe it,
not till now.

1015
00:53:25,619 --> 00:53:27,954
Have you seen
this monkey video?

1016
00:53:29,623 --> 00:53:31,791
Yeah, I've seen it
about a dozen times.

1017
00:53:32,793 --> 00:53:35,420
God bless the Internet.
Come on, Chaka.

1018
00:53:35,504 --> 00:53:37,297
Let's work on our
mission statement.

1019
00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:38,590
CHAKA: Okay.

1020
00:53:39,300 --> 00:53:40,592
(HOWLING)

1021
00:53:52,897 --> 00:53:54,439
How's it going?

1022
00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,901
What's wrong, little guy? You okay?

1023
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:00,862
Lady troubles?

1024
00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:02,196
Yeah.

1025
00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:04,407
Yeah, tell me about it.

1026
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,159
This obviously stays
between me and you,

1027
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:09,245
but I'm coming up
on a six-year dry spell.

1028
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:11,789
Yeah.
Yeah.

1029
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:15,335
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1030
00:54:20,341 --> 00:54:23,760
He says that he misses his
tribe. It's a beautiful existence.

1031
00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:27,597
They're carefree and nomadic,
and they live where the food is.

1032
00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:28,848
Just like me.

1033
00:54:28,933 --> 00:54:32,060
I moved tres times just to
be closer to a Ruby Tuesday's.

1034
00:54:32,144 --> 00:54:33,353
Yeah. Continue.

1035
00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:35,563
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1036
00:54:35,981 --> 00:54:37,357
Their women
wait on the men,

1037
00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:39,901
serving all
their needs.

1038
00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:42,153
I'm liking this.
Continue.

1039
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:46,157
Though they're ugly,

1040
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:49,160
they make up for it
with nice personalities.

1041
00:54:49,328 --> 00:54:51,788
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1042
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:55,291
He says as prince
of his tribe,

1043
00:54:55,376 --> 00:54:59,420
he personally is served
by a harem of 7,000 women.

1044
00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:02,048
Wow. Not bad,
little dude.

1045
00:55:03,801 --> 00:55:06,302
Yeah, and they bring him
all the apples he can...

1046
00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:08,012
Oh! Yeah.

1047
00:55:08,097 --> 00:55:10,515
Yeah, you get the idea.
I'm not translating that.

1048
00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:12,183
(BANJO PLAYING)

1049
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:31,369
Any room around that
fire for a jerk like me?

1050
00:55:31,704 --> 00:55:33,621
I thought you gave up.

1051
00:55:33,956 --> 00:55:36,791
I did.
I gave up on giving up.

1052
00:55:38,627 --> 00:55:39,669
(SIGHS)

1053
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:42,046
Sat out there for a long time,

1054
00:55:42,423 --> 00:55:44,882
just me, my shame,

1055
00:55:45,509 --> 00:55:47,051
and this little four-string.

1056
00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:50,388
Then I had a change of heart.

1057
00:55:51,515 --> 00:55:55,018
I tried too long and hard to think
of something to say to you guys,

1058
00:55:55,102 --> 00:55:58,521
and, well, I realized there
wasn't anything to say.

1059
00:55:58,605 --> 00:56:03,109
But maybe, just maybe,
there's something I could sing.

1060
00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:04,277
No, it's all right. It...

1061
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:07,113
(SINGING) Marshall, Will and Holly

1062
00:56:07,740 --> 00:56:10,950
On a routine expedition

1063
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:16,205
Met the greatest
earthquake ever known

1064
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:19,751
- That's all I got.
- Yeah, that was fine.

1065
00:56:19,835 --> 00:56:21,210
Yeah, apology accepted, dude. That's...

1066
00:56:21,295 --> 00:56:23,880
Thanks. You guys
are being so generous.

1067
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:26,049
I really appreciate it.
I think the healing has begun.

1068
00:56:26,133 --> 00:56:31,471
(SINGING) Met the greatest
earthquake ever known

1069
00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:39,979
High on the rapids,
it struck their tiny raft...

1070
00:56:40,064 --> 00:56:41,147
(BOTH EXCLAIM)

1071
00:56:41,231 --> 00:56:42,398
That's good.

1072
00:56:42,483 --> 00:56:44,817
(SINGING) And plunged them down...

1073
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:46,652
(YAWNING)

1074
00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,362
I'm so tired.

1075
00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:51,491
(SINGING) A thousand feet below...

1076
00:56:52,159 --> 00:56:55,661
Well, I'm feeling weak.
Really bushwhacked.

1077
00:56:56,789 --> 00:56:58,039
Anyway, here's...
Here's how I end it.

1078
00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,249
A little arpeggio, nothing fancy.

1079
00:57:02,878 --> 00:57:04,796
I'm really kind of sleepy.

1080
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:06,714
(SINGING) To the land...

1081
00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,676
Land of the...

1082
00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:12,512
(EXCLAIMING WEARILY)

1083
00:57:12,596 --> 00:57:14,138
(ALL SCREAM)

1084
00:57:14,223 --> 00:57:17,975
I'm so... I'm so tired. So...

1085
00:57:27,569 --> 00:57:29,153
What happened?

1086
00:57:29,947 --> 00:57:32,865
You had a bug on you, but it's gone now.

1087
00:57:33,909 --> 00:57:35,201
Okay.

1088
00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:50,508
(GRUNTING)

1089
00:57:57,891 --> 00:57:59,142
(EXHALES)

1090
00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:02,728
All right, everyone, rise and shine.

1091
00:58:03,564 --> 00:58:05,940
Listen up.
It's a new day.

1092
00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:08,734
Yes, we've had a setback.

1093
00:58:09,236 --> 00:58:12,655
Yes, it is tempting to
stay in this world and die,

1094
00:58:13,532 --> 00:58:16,784
but that's not how the new
Marshall rolls. You hear me?

1095
00:58:16,869 --> 00:58:18,744
Not by a damn sight.

1096
00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:23,166
This isn't "hands down the
pants" Marshall. All right?

1097
00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:26,836
This isn't "gorging on two pints of
Ben & Jerry's and a whole spiral-cut ham

1098
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:30,381
"while watching not one but two
Mama's Family's Reunions" Marshall.

1099
00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:33,092
Uh-uh! He's gone.

1100
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,512
Here's the deal.
Enik's counting on us.

1101
00:58:36,597 --> 00:58:38,097
The whole world's
counting on us.

1102
00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:39,974
If we have any hope
of returning home,

1103
00:58:40,058 --> 00:58:43,311
we need to take back that tachyon
meter, and take it back hard.

1104
00:58:43,395 --> 00:58:47,940
That means climbing, hours of
arduous climbing up sheer cliffs.

1105
00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:51,360
Not tomorrow, not in a
few hours, but right now.

1106
00:58:51,445 --> 00:58:53,237
- Understood?
- Yep.

1107
00:58:53,322 --> 00:58:54,655
Understood, Will?

1108
00:58:54,740 --> 00:58:55,740
Hmm?

1109
00:58:55,824 --> 00:58:57,617
Let's move out, you pansies.

1110
00:58:57,868 --> 00:59:01,913
Hey! This is not a race, okay?

1111
00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:07,084
(SQUAWKING)

1112
00:59:08,587 --> 00:59:09,587
(SHOW TUNE PLAYING)

1113
00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:12,965
(SINGING) Again! Step, kick,
kick, leap, kick, touch

1114
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:21,682
Again! Step, kick,
kick, leap, kick, touch

1115
00:59:21,767 --> 00:59:24,852
Right, let's do the whole combination
facing away from the mirror

1116
00:59:24,937 --> 00:59:27,605
From the top, A-five,
six, seven, eight!

1117
00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:33,986
WILL: What the hell?

1118
00:59:34,571 --> 00:59:37,823
HOLLY: Pterodactyl eggs are
incubating all over the caldera.

1119
00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:40,910
And there's your
shitty boom box.

1120
00:59:40,994 --> 00:59:44,497
Across a sea
of thin volcanic glass.

1121
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:50,002
Okay, Will, what you're gonna want to
do is evenly distribute your weight,

1122
00:59:50,087 --> 00:59:53,714
while at the same time,
keeping an eye out for the eggs.

1123
00:59:53,799 --> 00:59:57,093
Hey! Will?
I know you're faking.

1124
00:59:58,011 --> 00:59:59,470
Okay. Chaka.

1125
00:59:59,721 --> 01:00:00,930
(SNORING)

1126
01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:02,306
Chaka!

1127
01:00:02,975 --> 01:00:04,183
Come on.

1128
01:00:04,977 --> 01:00:07,186
Fine. Maybe I need
to listen to the words

1129
01:00:07,271 --> 01:00:09,855
of a group of young kids
trying to make it onstage.

1130
01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:11,857
God, I hope I get it.

1131
01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:13,943
I hope I get it.

1132
01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:15,569
Marshall.

1133
01:00:17,197 --> 01:00:18,698
Be careful.

1134
01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:22,493
I'm up! I'm up.
I got this.

1135
01:00:22,577 --> 01:00:23,953
Marshall, you got it.

1136
01:00:24,037 --> 01:00:25,079
(SQUAWKING)

1137
01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:26,789
(SINGING)
God, I hope I get it!

1138
01:00:26,873 --> 01:00:30,251
Do me a favor. Just keep
an eye on the mother, okay?

1139
01:00:30,335 --> 01:00:32,295
You mustn't change the surface
temperature of the eggs.

1140
01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:35,214
Even a drop of sweat could
activate the hatching process.

1141
01:00:35,299 --> 01:00:36,382
Right.

1142
01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:38,092
(SINGING) How many people does he...

1143
01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:41,387
I really need this job

1144
01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:44,724
Please, God, I need this job

1145
01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:48,769
I've got to get this job!

1146
01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:04,076
(SIGHS)

1147
01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:06,579
I got it. I got it.

1148
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:10,833
All right, let me see the
boys The whole group, ready

1149
01:01:10,917 --> 01:01:12,710
A- five, six, seven, eight!

1150
01:01:13,754 --> 01:01:15,588
(MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)

1151
01:01:17,341 --> 01:01:19,050
(RATTLING)

1152
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:37,401
(SQUAWKING)

1153
01:01:37,944 --> 01:01:40,154
RICK: They're hatching!
Why are they hatching?

1154
01:01:40,238 --> 01:01:42,948
The music!
It must be like a lullaby.

1155
01:01:43,617 --> 01:01:44,950
Shut up!

1156
01:01:46,161 --> 01:01:47,953
(RICK SHUSHING)

1157
01:01:49,873 --> 01:01:53,167
(SINGING) God, I hope I
get it! I hope I get it

1158
01:01:53,251 --> 01:01:55,628
How many people does he need?

1159
01:01:57,631 --> 01:02:01,050
God, I hope I get it!
I hope I get it

1160
01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:03,427
How many boys?
How many girls?

1161
01:02:05,013 --> 01:02:08,391
Look at all the people!
At all the people

1162
01:02:08,475 --> 01:02:10,226
(ALL SINGING)
How many people does he need?

1163
01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:11,852
How many boys?
How many girls?

1164
01:02:11,937 --> 01:02:13,354
How many people does he...

1165
01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:16,399
(SINGING) I really need this job

1166
01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:19,193
Please, God, I need this job

1167
01:02:19,277 --> 01:02:23,697
I've got to get this job!

1168
01:02:25,826 --> 01:02:27,827
(SNORING)

1169
01:02:51,268 --> 01:02:52,643
(WHOOPING)

1170
01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:56,689
RICK: People, we are going home!

1171
01:03:01,862 --> 01:03:04,071
I'm gonna miss this place
that proves I was right.

1172
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:19,211
Drink. Drink, yes.

1173
01:03:22,382 --> 01:03:25,301
Oh! That is delicious
and refreshing! Mmm-mmm.

1174
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:27,303
Sweet and sour,
like Chinese food.

1175
01:03:27,387 --> 01:03:28,387
Yeah.

1176
01:03:28,472 --> 01:03:29,972
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1177
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:32,641
He's saying it's a celebratory
drink in his village.

1178
01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:33,934
Cheers!

1179
01:03:36,855 --> 01:03:39,815
Yeah, it brings a joyful
lightness to the heart and soul.

1180
01:03:39,900 --> 01:03:41,233
No, no. No.

1181
01:03:42,736 --> 01:03:44,153
No, I'm sorry, it's not
"joyful lightness. "

1182
01:03:44,237 --> 01:03:47,740
A better translation would
be "howling loneliness. "

1183
01:03:49,868 --> 01:03:53,537
And then your bravery will
be tested as your mind fogs.

1184
01:03:55,999 --> 01:03:58,584
And the Shadow Hags will
rise from the graves and...

1185
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,087
And hold you
in an icy embrace.

1186
01:04:04,216 --> 01:04:07,384
And it'll feel like your
bowel's being pierced

1187
01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:10,387
by a ghost serpent.

1188
01:04:11,765 --> 01:04:13,057
Well, that
can't be right.

1189
01:04:13,141 --> 01:04:14,725
No, that can't be right.

1190
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:15,851
Chaka...

1191
01:04:15,936 --> 01:04:17,770
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1192
01:04:19,105 --> 01:04:20,606
Oh, no, no.

1193
01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:22,900
Okay, he says
it's not ghost serpent.

1194
01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:25,110
It's much closer
to "zombie dick. "

1195
01:04:28,949 --> 01:04:31,325
I think it might
be a narcotic.

1196
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:33,285
Is that so?

1197
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:39,416
I need you to be honest
with me, okay? You a cop?

1198
01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:41,877
Chaka.

1199
01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:46,882
That's not an answer, Chaka.
That's your name.

1200
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:52,054
Seriously, by law, you have to
tell me if you're a police officer.

1201
01:04:52,138 --> 01:04:53,472
- Marco.
- Polo.

1202
01:04:53,557 --> 01:04:55,391
You wearing a wire?

1203
01:04:55,475 --> 01:04:57,226
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1204
01:05:02,983 --> 01:05:04,650
- Marco.
- Polo.

1205
01:05:07,487 --> 01:05:09,572
(DEVICE POWERING ON)

1206
01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:11,156
Hello.

1207
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:13,492
(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

1208
01:05:18,957 --> 01:05:20,416
Hot coffee!

1209
01:06:04,210 --> 01:06:06,503
I need food.
Marshall!

1210
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:07,630
Yeah.

1211
01:06:07,714 --> 01:06:08,839
Fruit me, buddy.

1212
01:06:27,359 --> 01:06:28,984
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

1213
01:06:38,078 --> 01:06:39,411
(ALL SIGH)

1214
01:06:40,246 --> 01:06:41,830
Yeah. Yeah,
right there.

1215
01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:42,998
Get it on there.

1216
01:06:43,083 --> 01:06:44,124
Thank you.

1217
01:06:50,090 --> 01:06:51,298
Chaka.

1218
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,927
I owe you
an apology, okay?

1219
01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:56,178
(FLY BUZZING)

1220
01:06:56,262 --> 01:06:59,973
I'm a guest
in your land.

1221
01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:03,936
A guest who came
unannounced, uninvited,

1222
01:07:05,230 --> 01:07:08,774
and I've treated you
like a toilet. A toilet!

1223
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,528
I wanna make
it up to you.

1224
01:07:12,987 --> 01:07:17,408
Because the love I feel for
you, and I'm not exaggerating,

1225
01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:21,662
is a billion
times greater

1226
01:07:21,746 --> 01:07:26,709
than the love for mankind
that Jesus felt on the cross.

1227
01:07:29,087 --> 01:07:30,796
You can take
that to the bank.

1228
01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:33,632
(BOTH SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1229
01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:35,884
I'm so glad you
guys squashed that.

1230
01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:39,805
I love you guys so much.
You guys are amazing.

1231
01:07:41,558 --> 01:07:43,517
I don't ever want to go home. No.

1232
01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:44,852
This is just like
Sandals Resort.

1233
01:07:44,936 --> 01:07:45,936
Mmm-hmm.

1234
01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:49,648
There's good people, a lot
of good food. Good times.

1235
01:07:50,859 --> 01:07:54,737
I want to make this my life. I
must make... Be here all the time.

1236
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,029
Yeah.

1237
01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:58,073
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1238
01:07:58,158 --> 01:07:59,992
(REPEATING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1239
01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:01,160
Mmm.

1240
01:08:01,244 --> 01:08:02,578
Hey. Hey.

1241
01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:03,912
You're funny, Chaka.

1242
01:08:03,997 --> 01:08:05,497
- He's hilarious.
- You're funny.

1243
01:08:05,582 --> 01:08:06,832
His jokes are disgusting.

1244
01:08:06,916 --> 01:08:08,751
(ALL LAUGHING)

1245
01:08:10,211 --> 01:08:11,211
You're funny.

1246
01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:12,671
- Hey, for real, though?
- Mmm?

1247
01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:17,176
How much money would I have to pay
y'all to French kiss each other?

1248
01:08:18,344 --> 01:08:19,845
For real?

1249
01:08:19,929 --> 01:08:20,929
Totally for real.

1250
01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:22,055
For real, for real?

1251
01:08:22,140 --> 01:08:25,184
Tongue in his
monkey mouth.

1252
01:08:25,268 --> 01:08:29,313
Hey, if it doesn't leave the three
of us, I'd do it for free right now.

1253
01:08:29,397 --> 01:08:31,356
It's not gonna
leave here.

1254
01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:32,816
I'd do it
right now.

1255
01:08:32,901 --> 01:08:35,903
Let me see it.
Kiss him.

1256
01:08:35,987 --> 01:08:37,446
It doesn't leave
the three of us?

1257
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:40,365
Never. I won't tell anybody.
Who am I gonna tell?

1258
01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,243
- You French kiss him!
- I... I'm gonna do it.

1259
01:08:43,328 --> 01:08:45,329
Come here. I want you to... What?

1260
01:08:45,413 --> 01:08:47,289
- What?
- Get... Get...

1261
01:08:47,373 --> 01:08:49,041
(LAUGHING)

1262
01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,877
WILL: You guys are gross!

1263
01:08:53,421 --> 01:08:56,548
I don't wanna do it!
I don't wanna do it!

1264
01:08:57,509 --> 01:08:58,550
I don't wanna do it.

1265
01:08:58,635 --> 01:08:59,635
WILL: Oh! That's gross!

1266
01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:00,886
I've changed my mind.

1267
01:09:09,854 --> 01:09:11,271
(GASPS)

1268
01:09:11,356 --> 01:09:13,148
Dinosaur eggs!

1269
01:09:14,192 --> 01:09:15,859
Dinosaur poo.

1270
01:09:28,873 --> 01:09:30,499
This is the Zarn!

1271
01:09:30,583 --> 01:09:32,835
Heed my warning
or be destroyed!

1272
01:09:32,919 --> 01:09:35,003
Well, we're... We're
just trying to get home.

1273
01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:37,923
Enik the Altrusian
has escaped our custody!

1274
01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:40,926
He has overtaken the central
pylon and its crystals

1275
01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:46,515
and now plans to lead his army of Sleestak
on a rampage across time and space!

1276
01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:50,853
If you're hearing this, heed
my warning. Do not believe...

1277
01:09:50,937 --> 01:09:52,062
(ENIK LAUGHING)

1278
01:09:52,146 --> 01:09:54,439
No! Enik! No!

1279
01:10:17,297 --> 01:10:18,630
The Zarn.

1280
01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:22,342
(SCREAMING) I've gotta
go and warn them that...

1281
01:10:42,322 --> 01:10:49,244
Holly?

1282
01:10:57,462 --> 01:10:59,338
They've taken Holly.

1283
01:10:59,964 --> 01:11:03,508
Chaka? I've got a mission
for you. Now listen closely.

1284
01:11:17,190 --> 01:11:18,273
I don't know
what that means.

1285
01:11:18,358 --> 01:11:20,275
(WHISPERING)
Just come on.

1286
01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:28,492
Oh, man.

1287
01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:32,120
Sentries.
Classic hive behavior.

1288
01:11:32,997 --> 01:11:34,831
Obviously on patrol.

1289
01:11:34,916 --> 01:11:37,626
Yep, just like drones,
tirelessly hunting.

1290
01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:39,836
Dude, it looks like they're
getting ready to make out.

1291
01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:41,964
No. No, no, no.

1292
01:11:45,218 --> 01:11:49,388
(CROAKING)

1293
01:11:51,557 --> 01:11:52,933
He's about
to tap that ass.

1294
01:11:53,017 --> 01:11:54,267
(WHISPERING)
Would you shut up?

1295
01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:56,728
He's not about
to tap that ass.

1296
01:11:58,231 --> 01:12:01,400
You're right. He's
totally tapping that ass.

1297
01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:05,070
Wow. Our own
little private show.

1298
01:12:05,571 --> 01:12:07,489
(CROAKING INTENSIFYING)

1299
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:11,243
(SCREECHING)

1300
01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:15,080
WILL: Oh, God, they shed.

1301
01:12:15,206 --> 01:12:17,207
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

1302
01:12:35,226 --> 01:12:36,184
Hi.

1303
01:12:36,269 --> 01:12:38,729
Hey, don't do that!
Just focus.

1304
01:12:43,651 --> 01:12:48,405
SKULL 1: We find you guilty of providing
assistance to Enik the Altrusian.

1305
01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:50,198
There she is.

1306
01:12:50,283 --> 01:12:52,367
SKULL 1: Prepare to meet
the Sleestak god.

1307
01:12:52,452 --> 01:12:53,493
No.

1308
01:12:53,578 --> 01:12:54,870
- Stop!
- Marshall!

1309
01:12:54,954 --> 01:12:56,329
SKULL 1: Do not interfere!

1310
01:12:56,414 --> 01:12:57,789
Dude, what the hell are you doing?

1311
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:01,960
SKULL 1: This one was caught trying
to deliver a tachyon device to Enik.

1312
01:13:02,045 --> 01:13:04,296
If you want Holly,
you've gotta deal with us.

1313
01:13:05,882 --> 01:13:07,090
No, no, Marshall, don't!

1314
01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:09,176
Because we're all
friends of Enik!

1315
01:13:09,260 --> 01:13:14,931
SKULL 1: Enik the Altrusian is guilty of
the destruction of an entire civilization.

1316
01:13:15,016 --> 01:13:16,016
Entire what now?

1317
01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:17,392
SKULL 1: Convicted of his crimes,

1318
01:13:17,477 --> 01:13:20,687
he was sentenced to 10,000
years imprisonment...

1319
01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:21,897
He lied to us.

1320
01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:26,443
...and made to wear a tunic
as a symbol of his deceit.

1321
01:13:26,819 --> 01:13:28,361
Told you, dude. Tunic.

1322
01:13:28,446 --> 01:13:32,074
SKULL 1: As his allies,
you shall die as well.

1323
01:13:32,158 --> 01:13:33,575
SKULL 2: Seize them!

1324
01:13:34,494 --> 01:13:35,577
Come on.

1325
01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:37,537
Marshall!

1326
01:13:40,625 --> 01:13:41,666
Hold on, Holly!

1327
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:47,005
(GROANS)

1328
01:13:56,015 --> 01:13:57,307
See you.

1329
01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:07,692
We can do this. Ready?

1330
01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:08,777
Ready.

1331
01:14:15,910 --> 01:14:17,160
(SIGHS)

1332
01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:24,334
Wait. Wait, what about our...
Our working relationship?

1333
01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:30,757
I've wanted to do that
since I first met you.

1334
01:14:30,842 --> 01:14:32,509
You mean we could've been
doing this the whole time?

1335
01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:34,219
Yeah, but I was worried
it wouldn't be professional

1336
01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:35,470
or it'd distract
you from your work.

1337
01:14:35,555 --> 01:14:38,598
No. No, not distracting.
Never distracting.

1338
01:14:40,351 --> 01:14:44,646
Are you guys kidding me? Come on!
Really! Now is the time for this?

1339
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:46,606
You know, he's...
He's right.

1340
01:14:46,691 --> 01:14:49,693
We've got to stop Enik, and
right now he has the upper hand.

1341
01:14:49,777 --> 01:14:53,488
I mean, I know we have the
element of surprise, but...

1342
01:14:57,451 --> 01:14:59,161
Yeah, about that.

1343
01:15:00,580 --> 01:15:01,788
What?

1344
01:15:01,873 --> 01:15:04,457
We sent Chaka to go get him.

1345
01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:06,251
(ENIK LAUGHING)

1346
01:15:10,089 --> 01:15:13,091
Well, then, Rick Marshall.

1347
01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:17,512
Coming here represents a slight
adjustment to my plans, but no matter.

1348
01:15:17,597 --> 01:15:19,514
I have what I need.

1349
01:15:19,599 --> 01:15:24,519
And it's all thanks to you,
Dr. Marshall, and this.

1350
01:15:24,604 --> 01:15:26,021
(LAUGHING)

1351
01:15:26,105 --> 01:15:27,731
Don't.
We're outgunned.

1352
01:15:27,815 --> 01:15:30,066
ENIK: My Sleestak
stand prepared.

1353
01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:32,694
With the power
of the crystals,

1354
01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:35,947
they are my slaves,
my conquering army.

1355
01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:38,533
Thanks to your device,

1356
01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:43,914
I can lead an invasion force anywhere
I choose in all of time and space.

1357
01:15:44,332 --> 01:15:46,833
But I believe I will
begin with your Earth.

1358
01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:47,918
Oh, no.

1359
01:15:48,002 --> 01:15:50,212
ENIK: My Sleestaks
reproduce quickly.

1360
01:15:50,296 --> 01:15:52,547
Yeah, we already caught
some of that action.

1361
01:15:52,632 --> 01:15:57,636
ENIK: In mere weeks, your world will
be overrun by their scaly offspring.

1362
01:15:58,679 --> 01:16:02,724
And when I'm standing in the
cinders of your civilization,

1363
01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:06,353
I'll be sure to give you
full scientific credit.

1364
01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:10,357
I know how important
that is to you.

1365
01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:14,527
Now save your strength.
You'll need it.

1366
01:16:14,987 --> 01:16:16,613
(LAUGHING)

1367
01:16:17,657 --> 01:16:20,200
"You'll need it"?
What is he...

1368
01:16:23,246 --> 01:16:25,664
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

1369
01:16:25,748 --> 01:16:27,165
HOLLY: Marshall?

1370
01:16:30,169 --> 01:16:31,586
Great.

1371
01:16:31,671 --> 01:16:32,921
(ROARING)

1372
01:16:40,012 --> 01:16:42,889
Right, you run and I'll
distract him. He's not after me.

1373
01:16:42,974 --> 01:16:45,183
No. I'm not running.

1374
01:16:46,227 --> 01:16:47,811
This ends here.

1375
01:16:48,354 --> 01:16:50,605
HOLLY: Marshall,
what are you doing?

1376
01:16:50,690 --> 01:16:52,565
Maybe what I was
always meant to do.

1377
01:16:53,025 --> 01:16:57,320
Now, just go. I'll meet
you at the pylon, I hope.

1378
01:16:57,405 --> 01:16:59,155
No, we're not
leaving without you.

1379
01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:00,240
Go!

1380
01:17:00,992 --> 01:17:03,535
Get out of here!
I don't love you.

1381
01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:08,456
- Go!
- Ow! Marshall!

1382
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,001
Get! You're ugly.

1383
01:17:11,669 --> 01:17:12,919
(SCOFFS)

1384
01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:15,422
(WHISTLES)

1385
01:17:17,508 --> 01:17:18,717
(ROARS)

1386
01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:23,054
Look, if you're gonna
do this for real, take this.

1387
01:17:23,139 --> 01:17:25,640
Got some high-powered fireworks
in here that might come in handy.

1388
01:17:25,725 --> 01:17:27,183
Are you kidding me?

1389
01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:29,519
You mean you've been
carrying a bag of fireworks

1390
01:17:29,603 --> 01:17:31,479
around with you
this whole time?

1391
01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:34,482
There's literally a dozen situations
where we could have used these.

1392
01:17:34,567 --> 01:17:35,650
(ROARING)

1393
01:17:35,735 --> 01:17:36,776
(SHUSHING)

1394
01:17:36,861 --> 01:17:39,904
He's right. None of that's
important now, okay?

1395
01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:43,658
Listen. I gotta just level
with you, bro. I misjudged you.

1396
01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:47,871
I thought you were just a dumbass
dude who dressed stupid, but I'm wrong.

1397
01:17:47,955 --> 01:17:49,873
- You're solid.
- Thanks.

1398
01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:54,169
Thick or thin, I will follow
you into battle at any time.

1399
01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:57,839
You hear me?
Absolutely any time.

1400
01:17:57,923 --> 01:18:00,300
Okay. How about now?

1401
01:18:00,801 --> 01:18:01,926
- Like right now?
- Yes.

1402
01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:03,303
(ROARING)

1403
01:18:04,388 --> 01:18:07,849
Honestly, I didn't really expect
you to call the favor in this soon.

1404
01:18:07,933 --> 01:18:12,020
So, on this one, unfortunately
I'm gonna have to say no.

1405
01:18:12,104 --> 01:18:15,023
But I think it's gonna be awesome
for you, for personal growth,

1406
01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:17,025
just to hit this one solo.

1407
01:18:17,109 --> 01:18:19,778
I'm gonna be rooting
for you. Okay?

1408
01:18:19,862 --> 01:18:22,614
Trenches, bro.
It's all about love.

1409
01:18:23,949 --> 01:18:25,325
Okay?

1410
01:18:25,409 --> 01:18:28,411
After this time,
I'm there for you, okay?

1411
01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:30,747
Any time after now.

1412
01:18:31,999 --> 01:18:34,000
He's your man, not me.

1413
01:19:07,618 --> 01:19:11,329
All right, it's a fact. You
and I don't like each other.

1414
01:19:12,998 --> 01:19:16,042
Yes. And only
one will remain.

1415
01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:20,213
I'm just gonna have to
fight you at your own game.

1416
01:19:21,298 --> 01:19:22,257
(EXCLAIMS)

1417
01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:23,383
(ROARING)

1418
01:19:23,467 --> 01:19:24,717
(YELPING)

1419
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:30,056
Stay back. Get back.

1420
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:36,521
Damn, you're quick.
'Cause you're a dinosaur.

1421
01:19:36,605 --> 01:19:39,566
But you don't carry
around these, do you?

1422
01:19:39,984 --> 01:19:41,234
Huh?

1423
01:19:42,194 --> 01:19:45,113
Welcome to the big
bang theory, my friend.

1424
01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:51,536
Damn it, Will!

1425
01:20:03,424 --> 01:20:05,425
Ah! That was stupid.

1426
01:20:10,139 --> 01:20:12,807
You're cornered, man!
There's no way out!

1427
01:20:12,892 --> 01:20:14,642
There's always a way out!

1428
01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:19,272
'Cause if you don't make it...

1429
01:20:19,940 --> 01:20:22,775
It's your own damn vault.

1430
01:20:50,846 --> 01:20:52,388
My God! He's gonna do it!

1431
01:20:52,473 --> 01:20:53,973
Do it! Do it!

1432
01:20:54,058 --> 01:20:55,266
(GASPS)

1433
01:20:58,604 --> 01:20:59,646
(BURPS)

1434
01:20:59,730 --> 01:21:01,189
(EXCLAIMING)

1435
01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:03,191
Oh, God!

1436
01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:04,984
No, no.

1437
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,569
I don't believe it.

1438
01:21:06,654 --> 01:21:08,154
Oh, shit.

1439
01:21:12,159 --> 01:21:16,079
(EXCLAIMS)
Yeah! You! You bastard!

1440
01:21:18,249 --> 01:21:20,708
Do you realize who you just ate, do you?

1441
01:21:20,793 --> 01:21:22,794
Probably the most
brilliant man ever.

1442
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:25,630
Probably the only man
who ever really knew you.

1443
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,674
All right, so he was wrong
about the size of your brain,

1444
01:21:27,758 --> 01:21:29,259
but you don't go
and eat a man for that.

1445
01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:32,053
You reason with him,
you stupid idiot!

1446
01:21:32,763 --> 01:21:34,889
He was your future!

1447
01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:36,683
He was my future!

1448
01:21:38,102 --> 01:21:40,812
And I'm never gonna get a chance
to tell him that because of you!

1449
01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:52,365
It's cool. It's cool.

1450
01:21:52,449 --> 01:21:53,783
I'm sorry.

1451
01:21:54,451 --> 01:21:56,202
(PANTING)

1452
01:21:57,705 --> 01:22:00,999
Right. Now we must get home.
We're gonna get back,

1453
01:22:01,083 --> 01:22:04,043
and we're gonna tell the world what
Dr. Rick Marshall did here today.

1454
01:22:25,357 --> 01:22:27,734
Come on, you big green bastards.

1455
01:22:29,695 --> 01:22:36,534
I am sick and tired of you
slow-moving little wankers!

1456
01:22:36,619 --> 01:22:37,994
(GRUNTING)

1457
01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:45,668
Will!

1458
01:22:46,128 --> 01:22:49,714
All right, little dude.
Let's do this.

1459
01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:51,716
Lock and load!

1460
01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:53,384
(SCREAMING)

1461
01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:57,555
Boo-ya!

1462
01:22:59,558 --> 01:23:02,477
You want some of this?
Eat, Chaka, eat!

1463
01:23:02,561 --> 01:23:03,770
Holly!

1464
01:23:04,563 --> 01:23:05,730
HOLLY: Will!

1465
01:23:06,065 --> 01:23:07,398
(RUMBLING)

1466
01:23:07,941 --> 01:23:11,110
Step... Step and lift!

1467
01:23:11,195 --> 01:23:12,612
(ROARING)

1468
01:23:16,450 --> 01:23:18,951
All right, my murderous
friend, take us home.

1469
01:23:19,036 --> 01:23:20,370
(WHOOPING)

1470
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,122
Get!

1471
01:23:24,583 --> 01:23:27,335
Bite that guy
right back there! Nice.

1472
01:23:27,419 --> 01:23:29,212
(WHOOPS) Good get.

1473
01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:31,339
That's him. That's him.

1474
01:23:31,965 --> 01:23:34,926
Upper deck! The horror!

1475
01:23:35,344 --> 01:23:37,512
God, that is the coolest
thing I have ever seen.

1476
01:23:37,596 --> 01:23:39,263
Let's do it, pal.

1477
01:23:40,140 --> 01:23:41,182
(WHOOPS)

1478
01:23:41,266 --> 01:23:43,184
The only thing cooler would be
if he'd slide down Grumpy's tail

1479
01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:44,686
just like Fred Flintstone
would do when...

1480
01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:46,104
(WHOOPING)

1481
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:51,859
Oh, God, I've lived.
I have lived.

1482
01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:55,780
Easy. Hey, come on, it tickles.

1483
01:23:56,115 --> 01:23:57,615
Marshall!

1484
01:24:01,954 --> 01:24:02,954
What happened?

1485
01:24:03,038 --> 01:24:04,622
Dude, we thought you had died!

1486
01:24:04,707 --> 01:24:07,917
Died? No. That was
just a minor setback.

1487
01:24:10,003 --> 01:24:11,838
Okay, let's go home.

1488
01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:14,215
No, no, no, wait.
This is insane.

1489
01:24:14,299 --> 01:24:15,967
We saw you go down
Grumpy's cake hole.

1490
01:24:16,093 --> 01:24:17,802
What, did he puke you
out or something? Well...

1491
01:24:17,886 --> 01:24:20,430
No, it's not possible. The
T. Rex lacked a gag reflex.

1492
01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:22,223
Not important right now.

1493
01:24:24,518 --> 01:24:26,269
I'm okay, and that's it.

1494
01:24:26,353 --> 01:24:27,562
This is a puzzler.

1495
01:24:27,646 --> 01:24:30,898
Look, I'd really rather
not talk about it, okay?

1496
01:24:32,359 --> 01:24:34,360
Now, let's light this candle.

1497
01:24:34,445 --> 01:24:37,071
No, Marshall,
how did you get out?

1498
01:24:37,156 --> 01:24:39,282
I will talk to you
about it later!

1499
01:24:39,366 --> 01:24:43,077
Individually, to each one
of you. I'll explain it.

1500
01:24:43,162 --> 01:24:44,495
(SNIFFING)

1501
01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:47,498
Jeez. Would you grow up?

1502
01:24:47,833 --> 01:24:49,625
Oh, my God!

1503
01:24:49,710 --> 01:24:51,169
Yes, he pooped me out!

1504
01:24:51,503 --> 01:24:52,545
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

1505
01:24:52,629 --> 01:24:54,380
And now you guys
are friends?

1506
01:24:54,465 --> 01:24:57,759
While I was snaking my way through
his bowels, I don't know, I...

1507
01:24:57,843 --> 01:25:00,470
I must have dislodged some
sort of intestinal blockage.

1508
01:25:00,554 --> 01:25:03,097
And, yes, he's in
a much better mood now.

1509
01:25:03,182 --> 01:25:06,559
So can we move on? I really
would like to go home.

1510
01:25:07,686 --> 01:25:11,898
You were deuced out by a
dinosaur. That is incredibly cool.

1511
01:25:14,526 --> 01:25:16,986
Grumpy, listen.

1512
01:25:17,863 --> 01:25:20,698
When you talk about
this, and you will,

1513
01:25:22,701 --> 01:25:26,037
please be gentle. Okay?

1514
01:25:27,873 --> 01:25:30,666
All right, gangsta,
let's bones it out.

1515
01:25:35,214 --> 01:25:37,715
Don't worry about it. It's
hard with your vestigial arm.

1516
01:25:39,259 --> 01:25:41,636
Let's go, guys.
To freedom.

1517
01:25:49,061 --> 01:25:50,394
(ROARING)

1518
01:25:52,898 --> 01:25:54,857
ENIK: Thank you, Dr. Marshall.

1519
01:25:54,942 --> 01:25:58,903
And now, the doorway opens.

1520
01:26:01,782 --> 01:26:02,990
(GASPS)
Enik!

1521
01:26:03,367 --> 01:26:06,118
It's over.
You're not going anywhere.

1522
01:26:06,203 --> 01:26:10,081
You think you can challenge me?

1523
01:26:10,582 --> 01:26:12,375
(SHOUTING)

1524
01:26:17,047 --> 01:26:18,548
I wrestled at Purdue.

1525
01:26:18,632 --> 01:26:19,674
(LAUGHING)

1526
01:26:19,758 --> 01:26:20,925
J.V.

1527
01:26:22,886 --> 01:26:24,679
Fight, fight, fight!

1528
01:26:26,640 --> 01:26:29,267
Chaka!
Nicaraguan ball breaker!

1529
01:26:32,104 --> 01:26:34,188
Marshall! I'm coming in!

1530
01:26:34,273 --> 01:26:35,606
(WHOOPING)

1531
01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:36,941
(GROANS)

1532
01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:38,734
Misfire!

1533
01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:58,379
What have you done?

1534
01:26:58,463 --> 01:27:01,132
The door.
It's closing forever!

1535
01:27:15,606 --> 01:27:17,899
It's barely holding.
Let's go!

1536
01:27:21,570 --> 01:27:22,570
(SCOFFS)

1537
01:27:22,654 --> 01:27:26,157
It's your home or your
comrade, Dr. Marshall.

1538
01:27:26,241 --> 01:27:27,241
(LAUGHS)

1539
01:27:27,326 --> 01:27:29,827
No, it isn't. Reverse!

1540
01:27:31,121 --> 01:27:34,498
You go! I've got this
yellow bastard in lockdown.

1541
01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:35,750
I'm gonna stay.

1542
01:27:35,834 --> 01:27:36,876
- What?
- What?

1543
01:27:36,960 --> 01:27:39,253
Yeah. I've been
talking to my man Chaka.

1544
01:27:39,338 --> 01:27:41,631
He pitches
a pretty good world.

1545
01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:44,759
I mean, think about it. My home
was never in the real world.

1546
01:27:44,843 --> 01:27:47,595
I never belonged. This could
be a fresh start for me.

1547
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:49,055
You know, make
some new friends.

1548
01:27:49,139 --> 01:27:51,599
I could be somebody, a winner.

1549
01:27:51,808 --> 01:27:52,850
Ow!

1550
01:27:53,352 --> 01:27:55,269
Wow, I really admire
you right now.

1551
01:27:55,354 --> 01:27:57,313
I just feel like so many
people go through this life

1552
01:27:57,397 --> 01:27:59,315
looking for what I've
found here, you know?

1553
01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:02,276
And they themselves,
they never find it.

1554
01:28:02,361 --> 01:28:06,030
Or worse, they find it,
but they let it slip away.

1555
01:28:07,574 --> 01:28:09,283
I am so afraid
of that happening.

1556
01:28:09,368 --> 01:28:11,953
You wouldn't be human
if you didn't feel scared.

1557
01:28:12,037 --> 01:28:14,121
Marshall! Please.

1558
01:28:14,206 --> 01:28:16,874
You can't leave me here
like this with him!

1559
01:28:16,959 --> 01:28:20,211
As one scientist to another,
I beg you for mercy.

1560
01:28:22,255 --> 01:28:25,508
Science shows no mercy,
and neither do I.

1561
01:28:26,301 --> 01:28:28,302
- That's good.
- Thank you.

1562
01:28:28,762 --> 01:28:30,471
Let's go, Holly.

1563
01:28:33,684 --> 01:28:34,767
Ready?

1564
01:28:34,851 --> 01:28:35,893
Ready.

1565
01:28:37,062 --> 01:28:39,981
Chaka? Technically,
I'm still your master!

1566
01:28:52,285 --> 01:28:53,703
HOLLY: Marshall?

1567
01:28:53,996 --> 01:28:55,204
Holly?

1568
01:28:55,414 --> 01:28:56,622
(SIGHS)

1569
01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:01,544
We made it!

1570
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,676
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

1571
01:29:10,971 --> 01:29:16,434
I just want to say you have
grown into a beautiful woman.

1572
01:29:21,398 --> 01:29:22,773
Oh, no...

1573
01:29:31,283 --> 01:29:32,533
ERN: Hey!

1574
01:29:34,411 --> 01:29:35,995
Where's Will?

1575
01:29:36,747 --> 01:29:39,081
He went to a better place.

1576
01:29:41,043 --> 01:29:42,668
You killed him?

1577
01:29:42,753 --> 01:29:43,753
No.

1578
01:29:45,297 --> 01:29:48,466
No, he went to a strange world,

1579
01:29:49,801 --> 01:29:54,597
a world of dinosaurs,
monkey people, lizard people,

1580
01:29:55,724 --> 01:30:00,394
a hole in space and time,
a virtual land of the lost.

1581
01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:05,941
And as hard as it is to
believe, Will chose to stay.

1582
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:09,153
All right. Cool.

1583
01:30:10,781 --> 01:30:14,575
WILL: Yeah, did you see those
Sleestaks kick the crap out of Enik?

1584
01:30:15,077 --> 01:30:17,078
I've never seen
them move so fast.

1585
01:30:17,162 --> 01:30:18,370
(CHAKA SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1586
01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:21,707
WILL: Yeah, I couldn't agree
more, little buddy. Tunic.

1587
01:30:22,834 --> 01:30:25,503
Hop up.
I got you, come on.

1588
01:30:26,004 --> 01:30:27,129
Whoa!

1589
01:30:27,214 --> 01:30:28,422
(GROANING)

1590
01:30:28,507 --> 01:30:31,008
Man, you are
deceptively heavy.

1591
01:30:39,017 --> 01:30:40,392
Oh, my God.

1592
01:30:43,230 --> 01:30:45,022
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1593
01:30:46,608 --> 01:30:48,234
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

1594
01:30:49,528 --> 01:30:51,320
(SPEAKING PRIMATE LANGUAGE)

1595
01:30:57,035 --> 01:31:00,371
Chaka! My God!
We're kings!

1596
01:31:00,831 --> 01:31:02,039
CHAKA: Yeah.

1597
01:31:02,415 --> 01:31:03,874
(EXCLAIMING)

1598
01:31:07,045 --> 01:31:08,629
Are those what
your women look like?

1599
01:31:08,713 --> 01:31:11,340
Hop off. Be cool, be
cool, be cool, be cool.

1600
01:31:12,759 --> 01:31:13,801
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

1601
01:31:13,885 --> 01:31:15,886
Easy! Stand down!
Stand down.

1602
01:31:15,971 --> 01:31:17,763
I got this.

1603
01:31:17,848 --> 01:31:21,725
How's it going? I'm Will.
Pretty much Chaka's best friend.

1604
01:31:22,227 --> 01:31:25,104
I'm here to offer
y'all protection

1605
01:31:25,188 --> 01:31:28,357
and shelter and really
pretty much anything

1606
01:31:28,441 --> 01:31:31,402
that you guys would
ever need, okay.

1607
01:31:32,112 --> 01:31:35,823
Hey, how's it going? Hey,
yeah. Okay, yeah, that's denim.

1608
01:31:35,907 --> 01:31:39,243
Denim, yeah. Yeah.
Well, look at that, huh?

1609
01:31:39,786 --> 01:31:43,581
Hey, you're back there, too. Okay.
This was definitely a good choice.

1610
01:31:45,917 --> 01:31:48,878
ANNOUNCER: This is Today,
with Matt Lauer.

1611
01:31:49,671 --> 01:31:52,882
It's been some time since
my final guest was here,

1612
01:31:52,966 --> 01:31:57,678
but after the remarkable
events of the past year,

1613
01:31:57,762 --> 01:31:59,305
he needs no introduction.

1614
01:31:59,389 --> 01:32:02,892
He's back with a new book
and more startling evidence

1615
01:32:03,476 --> 01:32:05,019
of, you guessed it,
time warps.

1616
01:32:05,103 --> 01:32:06,979
The pipe's allowed.
I asked.

1617
01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:08,856
That's great news.

1618
01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:11,192
You've had quite a year.

1619
01:32:11,276 --> 01:32:13,360
Actually, a stellar year, Matt.

1620
01:32:13,445 --> 01:32:15,529
In fact, I brought
you back a dinosaur egg,

1621
01:32:15,614 --> 01:32:18,532
which my beautiful
partner and lover,

1622
01:32:18,617 --> 01:32:21,452
Holly Cantrell, was
gracious enough to transport.

1623
01:32:21,536 --> 01:32:22,703
And I'm obviously very excited

1624
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:24,705
about my new tome.
- It's a book.

1625
01:32:24,789 --> 01:32:26,874
Sixteen weeks on the New
York Times bestseller list.

1626
01:32:26,958 --> 01:32:28,667
Let me get to your
discovery, Doctor, because...

1627
01:32:28,752 --> 01:32:31,003
This is for you.
I signed it.

1628
01:32:31,630 --> 01:32:32,880
(SIGHS)

1629
01:32:34,341 --> 01:32:35,966
You're supposed to say the
title and the publisher.

1630
01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:37,718
That's not gonna happen.

1631
01:32:37,802 --> 01:32:39,011
- Just say it.
- No.

1632
01:32:39,095 --> 01:32:40,471
Just say the damn title.

1633
01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:41,555
Fine.

1634
01:32:42,474 --> 01:32:45,476
Matt Lauer Can Suck It,
by Dr. Rick Marshall.

1635
01:32:45,894 --> 01:32:48,520
I was so surprised that your
attorney signed off on that.

1636
01:32:48,605 --> 01:32:50,397
I was like, "Are you sure?
Is this gonna be okay?"

1637
01:32:50,482 --> 01:32:51,857
He said, "Yeah, go for it. "

1638
01:32:51,942 --> 01:32:53,359
Son of a bitch. You...

1639
01:32:53,443 --> 01:32:54,818
You puss!

1640
01:36:19,691 --> 01:36:21,358
MAN ON SPEAKER: And we're clear.

1641
01:36:24,863 --> 01:36:27,906
If anyone sees Matt, can you
tell him he forgot his egg?

1642
01:36:27,991 --> 01:36:29,491
(ALL LAUGHING)

1643
01:36:40,057 --> 01:36:44,052
Edited by: guilty57
www.divxplanet.com