1 00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:39,570 Mrs. Teasdale. 2 00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:40,780 Yes, Your Excellency? 3 00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:42,450 I again ask you to reconsider. 4 00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:44,870 Gentlemen, I've already loaned Freedonia 5 00:01:44,950 --> 00:01:47,120 more than half the fortune my husband left me. 6 00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:49,040 I consider that money lost. 7 00:01:49,130 --> 00:01:52,460 And now, you're asking for another $20 million. 8 00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:56,340 But it would only be for a few months to meet this present emergency. 9 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:57,930 With $20 million in the treasury, 10 00:01:58,010 --> 00:02:00,010 we can announce an immediate reduction in the taxes. 11 00:02:00,050 --> 00:02:01,690 That's all that the people are asking for. 12 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,220 I'm sorry, but I'm inclined to agree with the people. 13 00:02:04,310 --> 00:02:05,680 The government has been mismanaged. 14 00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:06,770 What? 15 00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:10,440 I will lend the money but only on condition that His Excellency withdraw 16 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,190 and place the government in new hands. 17 00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:13,770 You ask me to give up my office? 18 00:02:13,860 --> 00:02:15,230 Yes, Your Excellency. 19 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,320 In a crisis like this, I feel Freedonia needs a new leader, 20 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,280 a progressive, fearless fighter! 21 00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:22,780 A man like Rufus T. Firefly! 22 00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:24,490 Rufus T. Firefly? 23 00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:26,620 I will lend the money to Freedonia 24 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:29,960 only if Firefly is appointed leader. 25 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:56,400 The Honorable Secretary of Finance and Party. 26 00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:09,410 His Excellency, Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania. 27 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:18,800 Ambassador. 28 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,920 Mrs. Teasdale. 29 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,800 It was so good of you to come. 30 00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:25,050 I'm anxious for you to meet the new leader of our country. 31 00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:27,140 No matter who rules in Freedonia, Mrs. Teasdale, 32 00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:30,810 to me, you will always be the first lady of the land. 33 00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:33,730 Oh, permit me. This is Miss Vera Marcal. 34 00:03:33,810 --> 00:03:34,860 Ambassador Trentino. 35 00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:36,260 Miss Marcal needs no introduction, 36 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,190 I've seen her dance many times at the theater. 37 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,280 Thank you. 38 00:03:40,950 --> 00:03:43,450 The Honorable Pandooh of Mufhtan. 39 00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:45,410 I must greet His Honor. 40 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,170 What have you found out? 41 00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:54,710 Nothing. I've been waiting to hear from you. 42 00:03:54,790 --> 00:03:56,460 I've given up the idea of a revolution. 43 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:57,880 I have a better plan. Oh, yes? 44 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,920 I can gain control of Freedonia much easier by marrying Mrs. Teasdale. 45 00:04:02,010 --> 00:04:04,300 Maybe that's not going to be so easy. 46 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:06,390 Eh? Oh, from what I hear. 47 00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:09,970 You see, Mrs. Teasdale is rather sweet on this Rufus T. Firefly. 48 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,420 Oh, well, that's where you come in. 49 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,390 I'm going to place him in your hands. 50 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,610 And I don't have to tell you what to do or how to... Careful. 51 00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:22,110 I want you to meet His Excellency's Secretary, Bob Roland. 52 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,900 Ambassador Trentino. How do you do, sir? 53 00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:25,910 Miss Marcal. We've met. 54 00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:26,990 Of course. 55 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,910 Well, I hope His Excellency gets here soon. 56 00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:32,660 His Excellency makes it a point always to be on time. 57 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,420 As long as I've known him, he's never been late for an appointment. 58 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:39,420 His Excellency is due to take his station 59 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:42,840 Beginning his new administration 60 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,720 He'll make his appearance when 61 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,550 The clock on the wall strikes 10:00 62 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,980 When the clock on the wall strikes 10:00 63 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,230 All you loyal ladies and you patriotic men 64 00:04:57,310 --> 00:05:01,400 Let's sing the national anthem when 65 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,110 The clock on the wall strikes 10:00 66 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:16,120 His Excellency is due to take his station 67 00:05:16,210 --> 00:05:19,420 Beginning his new administration 68 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:22,090 He'll make his appearance when 69 00:05:22,170 --> 00:05:25,670 The clock on the wall strikes 10:00 70 00:05:32,930 --> 00:05:34,640 We'll give him a rousing cheer 71 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:36,690 To show him we're glad he's here 72 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:42,690 Hail, hail Freedonia 73 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:52,030 Hail, hail Freedonia 74 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,620 Land of the brave 75 00:05:55,710 --> 00:06:00,880 And free 76 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:16,850 Hail, hail Freedonia 77 00:06:16,930 --> 00:06:22,270 Land of the brave and free 78 00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:30,110 Hail, hail Freedonia 79 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:35,910 Land of the brave and free 80 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,170 You expecting somebody? 81 00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,300 Yes. 82 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,550 Hail, hail Freedonia 83 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:56,850 Land of the brave and free 84 00:06:56,930 --> 00:07:01,350 Oh, Your Excellency, we've been expecting you. 85 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,480 As Chairwoman of the Reception Committee, 86 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,860 I extend the good wishes of every man, woman and child of Freedonia. 87 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,860 Never mind that stuff. Take a card. 88 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,450 Card? What'll I do with a card? 89 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,070 You can keep it. I've got 51 left. 90 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,320 Now what were you saying? 91 00:07:13,410 --> 00:07:15,580 As Chairwoman of the Reception Committee, 92 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,790 I welcome you with open arms. 93 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:20,080 Is that so? How late do you stay open? 94 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,920 I've sponsored your appointment 95 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,540 because I feel you are the most able statesman in all Freedonia. 96 00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:27,050 Well, that covers a lot of ground. 97 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,460 Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You'd better beat it. 98 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,550 I hear they're gonna tear you down 99 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:32,470 and put up an office building where you're standing. 100 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:35,300 You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. 101 00:07:35,390 --> 00:07:37,310 If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. 102 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,270 You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here. 103 00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:41,600 You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. 104 00:07:41,690 --> 00:07:44,810 The future of Freedonia rests on you. 105 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:48,860 Promise me you'll follow in the footsteps of my husband. 106 00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:51,150 How do you like that? I haven't been on the job five minutes 107 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,070 and already she's making advances to me. 108 00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:55,530 Not that I care, but where is your husband? 109 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:56,990 Why, he's dead. 110 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,040 I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. 111 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,200 I was with him till the very end. 112 00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:03,000 Hmm! No wonder he passed away. 113 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,590 I held him in my arms and kissed him. 114 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,420 Oh, I see. Then it was murder. 115 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,960 Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? 116 00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:11,720 Answer the second question first. 117 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,090 He left me his entire fortune. Is that so? 118 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:16,850 Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you. 119 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,310 Oh, Your Excellency! 120 00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:21,600 You're not so bad yourself. 121 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,690 Oh, I want to present to you 122 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,150 Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania. 123 00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:28,730 Having him with us today is indeed a great pleasure. 124 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:30,780 Thank you, but I can't stay very long. 125 00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,490 That's even a greater pleasure. 126 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,780 Now, how about lending this country $20 million, you old skinflint? 127 00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:37,490 $20 million is a lot of money. 128 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:39,660 I'd have to take that up with my Minister of Finance. 129 00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:42,450 Well, in the meantime, could you let me have $12 until payday? 130 00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:44,750 $12? Don't be scared. You'll get it back. 131 00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:46,510 I'll give you my personal note for 90 days. 132 00:08:46,580 --> 00:08:48,670 If it isn't paid by then, you can keep the note. 133 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,840 Your Excellency, haven't we seen each other somewhere before? 134 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:55,260 I don't think so. I'm not sure I'm seeing you now. Must be something I ate. 135 00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:57,300 Look here, sir! Are you trying to... 136 00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:59,010 Don't look now, 137 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:02,100 but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you. 138 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,140 Oh, I'm so sorry. 139 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,980 I want you to meet a very charming lady. 140 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:09,060 And it's about time. 141 00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:10,610 Just a moment. 142 00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:13,610 I want to present Miss Vera Marcal. 143 00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,030 Go ahead. I can take it. 144 00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:17,360 Oh, you don't understand. 145 00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:19,870 This is Vera Marcal, the famous dancer. 146 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:22,240 Is that so? Can you do this one? 147 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,420 I danced before Napoleon. 148 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,000 No, Napoleon danced before me. 149 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,040 In fact, he danced 200 years before me. 150 00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:32,650 Here's one I picked up in a dance hall. 151 00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:37,970 Here's another one I picked up in a dance hall. 152 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:43,100 Perhaps sometime we get a chance to dance together, huh? 153 00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:45,560 I could dance with you till the cows come home. Yeah? 154 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,560 On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home. 155 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,480 Where is my secretary? 156 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,560 Here I am. 157 00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:53,150 Good heavens, Your Excellency! 158 00:09:53,230 --> 00:09:54,940 Uh, take a letter. Who to? 159 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,530 To my dentist. 160 00:09:56,610 --> 00:10:00,660 "Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500. Yours very truly." 161 00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:01,870 Send it off immediately! 162 00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:04,040 I'll have to enclose the check first. 163 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,330 You do and I'll fire you. 164 00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:08,830 Your Excellency, the eyes of the world are upon you. 165 00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:12,880 Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. 166 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,170 This is a gala day for you. 167 00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:16,550 Well, a gal a day is enough for me. 168 00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:18,510 I don't think I could handle anymore. 169 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,140 If it's not asking too much... 170 00:10:21,390 --> 00:10:25,930 For our information, just for illustration 171 00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:31,190 Tell us how you intend to run the nation 172 00:10:31,270 --> 00:10:36,030 These are the laws of my administration 173 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,450 No one's allowed to smoke or tell a dirty joke 174 00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:41,450 And whistling is forbidden 175 00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:44,620 We're not allowed to tell a dirty joke 176 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,620 Hail, hail Freedonia 177 00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:50,620 If chewing gum is chewed the chewer is pursued 178 00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:52,540 And in the hoosegow hidden 179 00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:55,630 If we choose to chew we'll be pursued 180 00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:58,630 If any form of pleasure is exhibited 181 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,180 Report to me and it will be prohibited 182 00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:04,300 I'll put my foot down So shall it be 183 00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:08,140 This is the land of the free 184 00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:09,770 The last man nearly ruined this place 185 00:11:09,850 --> 00:11:11,130 He didn't know what to do with it 186 00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:12,710 If you think this country's bad off now 187 00:11:12,770 --> 00:11:15,230 Just wait till I get through with it 188 00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:20,530 The country's taxes must be fixed 189 00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:21,860 And I know what to do with it 190 00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:23,490 If you think you're paying too much now 191 00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:25,080 Just wait till I get through with it 192 00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:34,580 I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair 193 00:11:34,670 --> 00:11:37,670 I'm strictly on the up and up so everyone beware 194 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,010 If anyone's caught taking graft and I don't get my share 195 00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:44,220 We stand 'em up against the wall and pop goes the weasel 196 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:47,350 So everyone beware who's crooked or unfair 197 00:11:47,430 --> 00:11:50,930 No one must take a bit of graft unless he gets his share 198 00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:56,730 If any man should come between a husband and his bride 199 00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:59,820 We find out which one she prefers by letting her decide 200 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,990 If she prefers the other man the husband steps outside 201 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:06,620 We stand 'em up against the wall and pop goes the weasel 202 00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:13,000 The husband steps outside, relinquishes his bride 203 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,170 They stand him up against the wall and take away his bride 204 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:19,630 You have an appointment at the House of Representatives. 205 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:22,630 Good heavens! You can't go with your trousers up! 206 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,090 I can't, eh? Well, they'll never catch me any other way. 207 00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:27,470 My car! His Excellency's car! 208 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:28,680 His Excellency's car! 209 00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:31,310 His Excellency's car! 210 00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,310 His Excellency's car! 211 00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:55,830 I'm in a hurry. To the House of Representatives. Ride like fury. 212 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,250 If you run out of gas, get ethyl. If Ethel runs out, get Mabel. 213 00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,880 Now step on it! 214 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,680 Well, it certainly feels good to be back again. 215 00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:26,990 I have failed, Ambassador. 216 00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:28,490 I know it, I know it, you idiot! 217 00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:29,660 I'm sorry. 218 00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,280 You have muddled everything. 219 00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:34,410 If you'd started the revolution as I planned, during the turmoil 220 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:38,580 I could've stepped in and placed Freedonia under the Sylvanian flag, our flag. 221 00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,130 But Firefly blocked us! 222 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:43,590 Your Excellency, you have no idea how popular he is in Freedonia. 223 00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:45,470 Oh, yes, I've known of that, too! 224 00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:47,800 That's why I have two spies shadowing him. 225 00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:51,050 I want to find out something about him, something to disgrace him, 226 00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:53,390 to discredit him with the people. 227 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,140 Ambassador, Chicolini and Pinky are here. 228 00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:57,310 Now, these are my spies. 229 00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:59,400 Show them in. Wait outside. 230 00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:08,820 We fool you good, eh? 231 00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:11,620 Gentlemen! 232 00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:20,830 Gentlemen, what is this? 233 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,790 Shh! This is spy stuff. 234 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:30,470 Telegram for you, sir. 235 00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,590 Oh. 236 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,060 He gets mad because he can't read. 237 00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:39,390 Oh, I see. 238 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,730 Well, gentlemen, we have serious matters to discuss. 239 00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:43,440 Please be seated. 240 00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:45,980 Rock-a-bye... Gentlemen, gentlemen! 241 00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:47,230 Now, about that information... 242 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,110 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Here, have a cigar. 243 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,910 That's a good quarter cigar. 244 00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:53,700 I smoked the other three-quarters myself. 245 00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:55,380 Yes. No, thank you, I have one of my own. 246 00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,290 Here. Try one of these! 247 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,170 Hey, that's no good. 248 00:15:08,050 --> 00:15:10,470 That's good! That's fine. 249 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:12,800 That's good. 250 00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:17,720 Now let's concentrate. 251 00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:20,060 Have you been trailing Firefly? 252 00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:22,770 Have we been trailing Firefly? 253 00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:25,480 Why, my partner, he's got a nose just like a bloodhound. 254 00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:26,570 Really? Yeah. 255 00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:29,400 And the rest of his face don't look so good either. 256 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,740 Look, we find out all about this Firefly. 257 00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:35,070 Here, look at this. Ah, very good, very good! 258 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,370 Wait a minute. We must not be disturbed. 259 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:40,710 Yes, sir? 260 00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,190 This is a very important conference. 261 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,370 I do not wish to be interrupted. 262 00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:44,710 Yes, sir. 263 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,960 Uh-uh, uh-uh! 264 00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:52,090 Gentlemen, we are not getting anywhere. 265 00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:58,260 You're out! 266 00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:02,560 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Now gentlemen, please! 267 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:06,440 SWill you tell me what you found out about Firefly? 268 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,690 Well, you remember you gave us a picture of this man and said, 269 00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:10,070 "Follow him"? Oh, yes. 270 00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:12,150 Well, we get on the job right away. 271 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,410 And in one hour, even less than one hour... 272 00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:15,490 Yes? 273 00:16:15,530 --> 00:16:17,910 ...we lose the picture. That's a pretty quick work, eh? 274 00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:20,750 But I asked you to dig up something I can use against Firefly. 275 00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:22,460 Did you bring me his record? 276 00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:25,380 No, no! 277 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,800 And the boy gets a cigar. 278 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:38,140 Now, Chicolini, I want a full detailed report of your investigation. 279 00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:39,510 All right, I tell you. 280 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,520 Monday, we watch Firefly's house, but he no come out. 281 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,810 He wasn't home. 282 00:16:43,890 --> 00:16:47,270 Tuesday, we go to the ball game, but he fool us. He no show up. 283 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,730 Wednesday, he go to the ball game, but we fool him! We no show up. 284 00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:53,320 Thursday was a double-header, nobody show up. 285 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,530 Friday, it rained all day. There was no ball game. 286 00:16:55,610 --> 00:16:57,490 So we stayed home and we listened to it over the radio. 287 00:16:57,570 --> 00:16:59,990 Then you didn't shadow Firefly! 288 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,700 Oh, sure we shadow Firefly. We shadow him all day. 289 00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:05,160 But what day was that? Shaderday! 290 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,380 That's some joke, huh, boss? 291 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:11,670 Now, will you tell me, what happened on Saturday? 292 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,170 I'm glad you asked me. 293 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:15,220 We follow this man down to a road house. 294 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,840 And at this road house he meet a married lady. 295 00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:17,930 A married lady? 296 00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:19,180 Yeah, I think it was his wife. 297 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:20,680 Firefly has no wife! 298 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,470 No? No! 299 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,180 Then you know what I think, boss? What? 300 00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:26,350 I think we followed the wrong man. 301 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,110 Oh, gentlemen, I am disappointed. 302 00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:34,610 I entrusted you with a mission of great importance and you failed. 303 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:38,030 However, I am going to give you one more chance. 304 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:43,490 I have credentials here that will get you into any place in Freedonia. 305 00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:47,000 If I can only... Ah, here we are. 306 00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:50,460 Are you sure that you can trap Firefly? 307 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,840 Remember, this time I expect results. 308 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,550 Goodbye and good luck. 309 00:17:57,630 --> 00:17:58,970 Okay, Cap. 310 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,550 Come on, Pinky. Goodbye. 311 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,710 All right, the meeting's called to order. 312 00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:31,080 Your Excellency, 313 00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:33,090 here's the Treasury Department's report. 314 00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:34,880 I hope you'll find it clear. 315 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,460 Clear? Huh! 316 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,840 Why, a 4-year-old child could understand this report. 317 00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:40,950 Run out and find me a 4-year-old child. 318 00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:42,510 I can't make head or tail out of it. 319 00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:46,600 And now, members of the cabinet, we'll take up old business. 320 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,230 I wish to discuss the tariff. 321 00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:49,940 Sit down, that's new business. 322 00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:52,900 No old business? Very well. Then we'll take up new business. 323 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:54,360 Now about that tariff... Too late! 324 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,860 That's old business already. Sit down. 325 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,650 Gentlemen, as your Secretary of War, I... 326 00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,320 The Secretary of War is out of order! 327 00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:04,280 Which reminds me, so is the plumbing. Make a note of that. 328 00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:06,410 Never mind, I'll do it myself. 329 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,670 The Department of Labor wishes to report 330 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,130 that the workers of Freedonia are demanding shorter hours. 331 00:19:13,210 --> 00:19:14,590 Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. 332 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,130 We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes. 333 00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:20,420 And now, gentlemen, we've got to start looking for a new Treasurer. 334 00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:21,970 But you appointed one last week! 335 00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:23,550 That's the one I'm looking for. 336 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,890 Gentlemen, gentlemen, enough of this. 337 00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:27,720 How about taking up the tax? 338 00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:29,060 How about taking up the carpet? 339 00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:31,230 I still insist we must take up the tax! 340 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,480 He's right, you've got to take up the tacks before you can take up the carpet. 341 00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:37,820 I give all my time and energy to my duties and what do I get? 342 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,860 You get awfully tiresome after a while. 343 00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:41,530 Sir, you try my patience. 344 00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:44,120 I don't mind if I do. You must come over and try mine sometime. 345 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,450 That's the last straw! I resign! 346 00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:48,620 I wash my hands off the whole business. 347 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,040 That's a good idea. You can wash your neck, too. 348 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,420 Peanuts! 349 00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:09,810 Hey, come here! 350 00:20:10,270 --> 00:20:12,100 Just the guy I wanna see. 351 00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:15,400 What do you find out about this guy Firefly? 352 00:20:15,610 --> 00:20:18,650 You find out something? You no find out something? 353 00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:21,400 You spy on him? You no spy on him? 354 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,700 What's the matter? All the time I talk to you, you no say nothing. 355 00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:27,200 What's the matter, you no speak, eh? 356 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,500 Stop this! What you find, eh? What you find? 357 00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:34,000 That's no good! 358 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,000 Hey, come here. You're crazy. What's the matter with you? 359 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,240 Why you make a face like this? 360 00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:38,460 What's the matter with you? 361 00:20:38,550 --> 00:20:41,340 Ah, come on, you wanna fight, huh? You wanna fight? 362 00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:43,090 Come on, I give you fight. 363 00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:45,640 Hey, upstairs this time, no downstairs! 364 00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:47,600 Come on. 365 00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:50,600 What you think you are, eh? 366 00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:03,650 Hey, what's the idea of fighting in front of my place 367 00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:05,070 and driving my customers away? 368 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,950 Hey, mister, you got a mistake someplace. 369 00:21:07,030 --> 00:21:10,030 I no fight. You understand, this guy, he's working for me. 370 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,960 I ask him something, and he no tell me nothing. 371 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,910 I ask him why he no speak, all the time he no speak. 372 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000 What do you think he do? 373 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,290 He make fight go like this. 374 00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:18,170 Hey, what's the idea? 375 00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,540 That's not my idea, that's his idea. 376 00:21:20,630 --> 00:21:22,670 All time I say something, he no say nothing. 377 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,340 Every time I say... Will you shut up? 378 00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:28,220 Hey, listen, what are you doing around here? 379 00:21:29,510 --> 00:21:31,510 Who are you? 380 00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:36,140 Hey, can't you say... Can't you say anything? 381 00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:38,150 No! He no say nothing, he... Oh, shut up! 382 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,230 I am shut up, but, mister, you no understand. 383 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,270 Look, he's a spy and I'm a spy. He work for me. 384 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,030 I want him to find out something but he no find out what I wanna find out. 385 00:21:45,110 --> 00:21:47,320 Now how am I gonna find out what I wanna find out 386 00:21:47,410 --> 00:21:48,780 if he no find out what I gotta find out? 387 00:21:48,870 --> 00:21:50,740 Will you quit annoying me? 388 00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:53,790 All right, I quit. All you gotta do is make him stop doing this. 389 00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:54,910 Oh! 390 00:21:56,330 --> 00:22:00,670 Now just for that, I'm gonna tear you limb from limb, limb from limb! 391 00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:05,130 You'd think they'd do the same... 392 00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:19,270 You see, I no say one thing, mister, before when you... 393 00:22:19,350 --> 00:22:21,150 No, no. 394 00:23:11,570 --> 00:23:13,950 Oh! Now, now I'm gonna get you! 395 00:23:20,710 --> 00:23:21,790 What are you doing? 396 00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:27,130 Why, you... 397 00:23:50,490 --> 00:23:51,900 I'll teach you to kick me! 398 00:23:51,990 --> 00:23:54,030 You don't have to teach me. I know how. 399 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,700 Stop it. Look out! 400 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,080 Oh! 401 00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:03,920 That's good, eh? 402 00:24:07,630 --> 00:24:10,460 Peanuts! 403 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:11,840 Hey! 404 00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:16,930 You wanna be a public nuisance? 405 00:24:17,010 --> 00:24:18,890 Sure, how much does the job pay? 406 00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:21,680 I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. 407 00:24:21,770 --> 00:24:24,400 Peanuts to you! 408 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,480 Have you got a license? License? 409 00:24:26,570 --> 00:24:29,150 No, but my dog, he's got millions of 'em. 410 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:31,650 Believe me, he's some smart dog. 411 00:24:31,740 --> 00:24:33,780 You know, he went with Admiral Byrd to the Pole. 412 00:24:33,860 --> 00:24:35,700 I'll bet the dog got to the Pole first. 413 00:24:36,030 --> 00:24:37,320 You win. 414 00:24:37,410 --> 00:24:39,200 Come on up here. I wanna scare the cabinet. 415 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,880 Hello? Hello? No, no, he's not in. 416 00:24:47,170 --> 00:24:49,340 All right, I tell him. Goodbye. 417 00:24:49,420 --> 00:24:50,960 That was for you. 418 00:24:51,050 --> 00:24:53,331 I'm sorry I'm not in. I want to have a long talk with you. 419 00:24:53,380 --> 00:24:56,180 Now listen here, you give up that silly peanut stand 420 00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,050 and I'll get you a soft government job. 421 00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:01,060 Now let's see, how would you like a job in the mint? 422 00:25:01,140 --> 00:25:04,060 Mint? No, no. I no like mint. 423 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,020 What other flavor you got? 424 00:25:07,730 --> 00:25:10,860 Hello? Hello? No, not yet. 425 00:25:11,530 --> 00:25:13,820 All right, I tell him. Goodbye. Thank you. 426 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,650 That was for you again. 427 00:25:15,740 --> 00:25:17,700 I wonder whatever became of me. 428 00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:19,990 I should have been back here a long time ago. 429 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,290 Now listen here, I've got a swell job for you, 430 00:25:22,370 --> 00:25:25,460 but first I have to ask you a couple of important questions. 431 00:25:25,540 --> 00:25:28,330 Now, what is it that has four pair of pants, 432 00:25:28,420 --> 00:25:29,960 lives in Philadelphia, 433 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,340 and it never rains but it pours? 434 00:25:33,510 --> 00:25:35,720 That's a good one. I give you three guesses. 435 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,090 Now let me see, has four pair of pants, lives in Philadelphia... 436 00:25:39,180 --> 00:25:40,390 Is it male or female? 437 00:25:40,470 --> 00:25:41,850 No, I don't think so. 438 00:25:41,930 --> 00:25:43,470 Is he dead? 439 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,560 Who? 440 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,190 I don't know. I give up! 441 00:25:47,270 --> 00:25:48,480 I give up, too. 442 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,360 Now I ask you another one. 443 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,860 What is it got a big black mustache, 444 00:25:52,940 --> 00:25:55,030 smokes a big black cigar, 445 00:25:55,110 --> 00:25:57,360 and he's a big pain in the neck? 446 00:25:57,450 --> 00:26:00,410 Don't tell me. Has a big black mustache, 447 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,120 smokes a big black cigar, 448 00:26:03,450 --> 00:26:05,540 and is a big pain in the... 449 00:26:06,370 --> 00:26:07,710 Does he wear glasses? 450 00:26:07,790 --> 00:26:09,330 That's right. You guess it quick. 451 00:26:09,420 --> 00:26:11,420 Just for that, you don't get the job I was gonna give you. 452 00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:13,170 What job? Secretary of War! 453 00:26:13,260 --> 00:26:15,010 All right, I take it. Sold! 454 00:26:34,530 --> 00:26:36,530 You know, I'd be lost without a telephone. 455 00:26:36,610 --> 00:26:38,240 Hey, don't go away, I wanna talk to you. 456 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,950 Now, where were we? Oh, yes! Now that you're Secretary of War, 457 00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:42,700 what kind of an army do you think we oughta have? 458 00:26:42,780 --> 00:26:44,160 Well, I tell you what I think. 459 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,760 I think we should have a standing army. 460 00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:48,040 Why should we have a standing army? 461 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,460 Because then we save money on chairs! 462 00:26:53,670 --> 00:26:55,210 Peanuts! 463 00:26:57,380 --> 00:26:58,510 Scat! 464 00:27:07,430 --> 00:27:09,350 Say, who are you anyway? 465 00:27:12,020 --> 00:27:13,440 I don't go in much for modern art. 466 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,570 Have you got anything by one of the Old Masters? 467 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,410 Not bad. 468 00:27:21,490 --> 00:27:23,700 You don't happen to have her telephone number? 469 00:27:29,540 --> 00:27:31,250 Say, you could be a big help to me. 470 00:27:31,330 --> 00:27:33,040 Where do you live? 471 00:27:36,250 --> 00:27:38,710 Well, it's not much of a place, but it's home. 472 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:40,970 Meow! 473 00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:46,890 Well, I know one thing, 474 00:27:46,970 --> 00:27:50,020 I bet you haven't got a picture of my grandfather. 475 00:27:52,850 --> 00:27:54,610 Uh-uh! Not now! 476 00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:57,570 Some other time. 477 00:28:08,830 --> 00:28:10,160 Your Excellency? 478 00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:11,410 Quiet! 479 00:28:12,210 --> 00:28:13,580 This letter's the work of Trentino. 480 00:28:13,670 --> 00:28:15,130 The man is trying to undermine you. 481 00:28:15,210 --> 00:28:16,670 Now, what are you gonna do about it? 482 00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:19,090 I've got a good mind to ring his doorbell and run. 483 00:28:19,170 --> 00:28:22,300 We've got to get rid of that man at once. I've got a plan. 484 00:28:22,380 --> 00:28:25,840 You say something to make him mad and he'll strike you! 485 00:28:25,930 --> 00:28:27,530 And we'll force him to leave the country. 486 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,220 That's a swell plan. Why couldn't you arrange for me to strike him? 487 00:28:30,310 --> 00:28:32,680 Ambassador Trentino is a very sensitive man. 488 00:28:32,770 --> 00:28:35,770 Perhaps if you insult him. He's very easy to insult. 489 00:28:36,060 --> 00:28:39,480 Why, I said something to Vera Marcal in his presence and he slapped my face. 490 00:28:39,570 --> 00:28:40,690 Why didn't Vera slap your face? 491 00:28:40,780 --> 00:28:41,780 She did. 492 00:28:41,820 --> 00:28:43,700 What'd you say to her? 493 00:28:46,660 --> 00:28:47,950 You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 494 00:28:48,030 --> 00:28:49,200 Where'd you hear that story? 495 00:28:49,290 --> 00:28:50,370 You told it to me. 496 00:28:50,450 --> 00:28:52,040 Oh, yes! I remember. 497 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,420 I should've slapped Mrs. Teasdale's face when she told it to me. 498 00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:56,540 Where is Trentino? 499 00:28:56,630 --> 00:28:57,880 At Mrs. Teasdale's tea party. 500 00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,250 Was I invited? No. 501 00:28:59,340 --> 00:29:00,800 Take a letter! 502 00:29:02,300 --> 00:29:05,300 "You are cordially invited to attend my tea party." 503 00:29:05,970 --> 00:29:08,720 Sign Mrs. Teasdale's name and tell her I accept. 504 00:29:08,810 --> 00:29:10,470 Come on, let's go. 505 00:29:18,570 --> 00:29:20,770 I've got an appointment to insult Ambassador Trentino, 506 00:29:20,860 --> 00:29:23,280 and I don't want to keep him waiting! Step on it! 507 00:29:27,070 --> 00:29:30,240 This is the fifth trip I've made today and I haven't been anywhere yet. 508 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,340 You don't seem to be making much progress with Mrs. Teasdale, huh? 509 00:29:47,430 --> 00:29:52,930 How can I? Every time I get her in the right mood to say "yes," Firefly pops in. 510 00:29:53,020 --> 00:29:56,940 Well, this is your opportunity. He won't be here today. 511 00:29:57,270 --> 00:29:58,440 Are you sure? 512 00:29:58,520 --> 00:29:59,770 Positive! 513 00:29:59,860 --> 00:30:02,480 I helped Mrs. Teasdale with the invitations. 514 00:30:02,570 --> 00:30:03,570 Oh. 515 00:30:04,990 --> 00:30:08,200 His Excellency, Rufus T. Firefly! 516 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:13,620 Hail, hail Freedonia 517 00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:20,540 Land of the brave and free 518 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:25,880 Gloria, I waited for years. 519 00:30:25,970 --> 00:30:27,170 I can't be put off any longer. 520 00:30:27,260 --> 00:30:30,390 I love you, I want you! Can't you see I'm at your feet? 521 00:30:30,470 --> 00:30:32,751 When you get through with her feet, you can start on mine. 522 00:30:32,890 --> 00:30:35,140 If that isn't an insult, I don't know what is. 523 00:30:35,230 --> 00:30:38,310 Gloria, I love you. I realize how lonely you are. 524 00:30:38,390 --> 00:30:40,560 Can't we go someplace where we can be by ourselves? 525 00:30:40,650 --> 00:30:42,860 What can this mug offer you? Wealth and family? 526 00:30:42,940 --> 00:30:46,990 I can't give you wealth, but we can have a little family of our own. 527 00:30:47,070 --> 00:30:48,820 Oh, Rufus! 528 00:30:48,910 --> 00:30:51,490 All I can offer you is a roof-us over your head. 529 00:30:51,570 --> 00:30:54,740 Your Excellency, I really don't know what to say. 530 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,540 I wouldn't know what to say either if I was in your place. 531 00:30:57,620 --> 00:30:59,040 Maybe you can suggest something. 532 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,670 As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon. 533 00:31:02,750 --> 00:31:03,750 What? 534 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,920 I'm sorry I said that. It isn't fair to the rest of the baboons. 535 00:31:08,130 --> 00:31:10,220 This man's conduct is inexcusable! 536 00:31:10,340 --> 00:31:13,970 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! I did not come here to be insulted! 537 00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:15,720 That's what you think. You swine! 538 00:31:15,810 --> 00:31:17,430 Come again? You worm! 539 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,140 Once more. You upstart! 540 00:31:19,230 --> 00:31:20,690 That's it! 541 00:31:21,190 --> 00:31:22,230 Touche! 542 00:31:22,310 --> 00:31:23,810 Mrs. Teasdale, I'm afraid this regrettable occurrence 543 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:25,360 may plunge our countries into war. 544 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:26,610 Oh, this is terrible! 545 00:31:26,690 --> 00:31:28,940 I've said enough. I'm a man of few words. 546 00:31:29,030 --> 00:31:31,150 I'm a man of one word. Scram! 547 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,030 A man doesn't live who can call a Firefly an upstart. 548 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,580 Why, the Mayflower was full of Fireflys, and a few horseflies, too. 549 00:31:37,660 --> 00:31:39,040 The Fireflys were on the upper deck 550 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,830 and the horseflies were on the Fireflys. 551 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:44,460 Good day, my sweet. 552 00:31:44,540 --> 00:31:47,130 Oh, Your Excellency, I must speak to you! 553 00:31:47,210 --> 00:31:48,610 I'll see you at the theater tonight. 554 00:31:48,670 --> 00:31:49,970 I'll hold your seat till you get there. 555 00:31:50,050 --> 00:31:51,380 After you get there, you're on your own. 556 00:31:51,470 --> 00:31:52,880 His Excellency's car! 557 00:31:52,970 --> 00:31:54,800 His Excellency's car! 558 00:31:57,310 --> 00:31:59,470 No, no, you don't. I'm not taking any more chances. 559 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,520 You can only fool a Firefly twice. 560 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,980 This time you ride in the sidecar. 561 00:32:17,580 --> 00:32:19,830 This is the only way to travel. 562 00:32:23,370 --> 00:32:25,290 Hey, Pinky, come here. 563 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:27,750 Watch the stand. 564 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,090 Come on, Pastrami, come on. 565 00:33:24,890 --> 00:33:26,400 Oh! 566 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:32,570 Huh. 567 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,880 Hey! Hey, what's... 568 00:33:51,210 --> 00:33:52,880 What's the matter? 569 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:55,920 Oh. 570 00:33:58,050 --> 00:33:59,510 Mrs. Teasdale. 571 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,220 I deeply regret the unfortunate affair with His Excellency, 572 00:34:02,310 --> 00:34:04,350 but his attitude left me no alternative. 573 00:34:04,430 --> 00:34:07,100 Maybe we can still avoid this terrible war. 574 00:34:07,190 --> 00:34:08,690 Oh, if we only could. 575 00:34:08,770 --> 00:34:10,440 Oh, yes, I do... Ah. 576 00:34:10,940 --> 00:34:13,690 Mrs. Teasdale, I have been recalled by my president. 577 00:34:13,780 --> 00:34:14,780 Then it's too late? 578 00:34:14,860 --> 00:34:16,950 Not if His Excellency will listen to reason. 579 00:34:17,030 --> 00:34:21,200 I am prepared to pocket my pride and forget about the whole matter if he is. 580 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:22,700 Ambassador, that's wonderful of you, 581 00:34:22,790 --> 00:34:25,250 but I'm afraid His Excellency won't hear of it. 582 00:34:25,330 --> 00:34:27,250 Oh, perhaps he will listen to you. 583 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,080 Do you think so? 584 00:34:29,130 --> 00:34:30,250 Yes, of course. 585 00:34:30,330 --> 00:34:31,630 I'll call him. 586 00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:43,390 I hate to disturb you, 587 00:34:43,470 --> 00:34:45,270 I know you're a very busy man, 588 00:34:45,350 --> 00:34:46,640 but I must see you at once. 589 00:34:47,020 --> 00:34:48,690 Where are you? Oh. 590 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:53,060 Why not come over here? You can come in the back way. No one will see you. 591 00:34:53,150 --> 00:34:56,110 Well, if you think of it, bring some cheese. 592 00:34:57,150 --> 00:34:59,280 But, Your Excellency, you must come over. 593 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,030 It's a long story. I can't tell it to you over the phone. 594 00:35:02,450 --> 00:35:04,080 Oh, it's that kind of a story. 595 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,580 You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 596 00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:07,040 I'll be right over. 597 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,370 He'll be right over. 598 00:35:08,460 --> 00:35:10,920 Perhaps you'd better wait outside until I've had a chance to talk to him. 599 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,840 Very well, we'll be out here if you want us. 600 00:35:25,470 --> 00:35:26,470 Oh! 601 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:27,640 How'd you get in here? 602 00:35:27,730 --> 00:35:30,690 Oh, Your Excellency, I'm so sorry to have to disturb you. 603 00:35:30,770 --> 00:35:32,100 Will you ever forgive me? 604 00:35:32,190 --> 00:35:35,570 After I leave here tonight, will you ever forgive me? 605 00:35:35,780 --> 00:35:36,980 Here are the plans of war. 606 00:35:37,070 --> 00:35:38,440 They're as valuable as your life 607 00:35:38,530 --> 00:35:40,030 and that's putting them pretty cheap. 608 00:35:40,110 --> 00:35:42,070 Watch them like a cat watches her kittens. 609 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,370 Have you ever had kittens? 610 00:35:43,450 --> 00:35:46,280 No, of course not. You're too busy running around playing bridge. 611 00:35:46,370 --> 00:35:48,490 Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you. 612 00:35:48,540 --> 00:35:49,750 Why don't you marry me? 613 00:35:49,830 --> 00:35:51,080 Why, marry you? 614 00:35:51,170 --> 00:35:52,830 You take me and I'll take a vacation. 615 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,790 I'll need a vacation if we're going to get married. 616 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,040 Married! 617 00:35:56,130 --> 00:35:59,340 I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove, 618 00:35:59,420 --> 00:36:01,130 but I can't see the stove. 619 00:36:01,220 --> 00:36:04,720 Come, come! Say the word and you'll never see me again. 620 00:36:05,220 --> 00:36:06,430 Gloria. 621 00:36:11,730 --> 00:36:14,400 Rufus, what are you thinking of? 622 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,730 Oh, I was just thinking of all the years I've wasted collecting stamps. 623 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,700 Oh, I suppose you'll think me a sentimental old fluff, 624 00:36:24,780 --> 00:36:28,030 but would you mind giving me a lock of your hair? 625 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,790 A lock of my hair? 626 00:36:31,250 --> 00:36:32,500 Oh, I had no idea... 627 00:36:32,580 --> 00:36:33,670 I'm letting you off easy. 628 00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:35,330 I was gonna ask for the whole wig. 629 00:36:42,510 --> 00:36:44,680 So, you've come to ask for clemency? 630 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,600 Your Excellency, the Ambassador's here on a friendly visit. 631 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,470 He's had a change of heart. 632 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:53,180 A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. 633 00:36:53,270 --> 00:36:54,480 I'm sorry we lost our tempers. 634 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,150 I'm willing to forget if you are. 635 00:36:56,230 --> 00:36:58,440 Forget? You ask me to forget? 636 00:36:58,610 --> 00:37:00,820 A Firefly never forgets. 637 00:37:00,940 --> 00:37:02,820 Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves 638 00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:04,700 and I'd only have to bury them again. 639 00:37:04,780 --> 00:37:05,780 Nothing doing. 640 00:37:05,820 --> 00:37:07,910 I'm going back and clean the crackers out of my bed. 641 00:37:07,990 --> 00:37:09,160 I'm expecting company. 642 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:11,750 Please wait. Let go of me, you bully! 643 00:37:13,790 --> 00:37:16,210 I'm willing to do anything to prevent this war. 644 00:37:16,290 --> 00:37:19,670 It's too late. I've already paid a month's rent on the battlefield. 645 00:37:19,750 --> 00:37:21,210 Oh, Your Excellency, 646 00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:23,170 isn't there something I can do? 647 00:37:23,260 --> 00:37:25,340 Yes, but I'll talk to you about that later. 648 00:37:25,430 --> 00:37:26,890 Won't you reconsider? 649 00:37:26,970 --> 00:37:29,390 Please relent, for my sake. 650 00:37:29,890 --> 00:37:32,430 Well, maybe I am a little headstrong, 651 00:37:32,770 --> 00:37:34,180 but I come by it honestly. 652 00:37:34,270 --> 00:37:36,230 My father was a little headstrong. 653 00:37:36,310 --> 00:37:38,190 My mother was a little armstrong. 654 00:37:38,270 --> 00:37:40,020 The headstrongs married the armstrongs 655 00:37:40,110 --> 00:37:42,440 and that's why darkies were born. 656 00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:45,950 It was silly of me to lose my temper, 657 00:37:46,030 --> 00:37:47,700 on account of that little thing you called me. 658 00:37:47,780 --> 00:37:50,450 Little thing I called you? What did I call you? 659 00:37:50,530 --> 00:37:52,580 Gosh, I don't even remember what it was. 660 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,290 Well, do you mean "worm"? 661 00:37:57,670 --> 00:37:59,380 No, that wasn't it. 662 00:37:59,540 --> 00:38:01,170 I know, "swine." 663 00:38:01,670 --> 00:38:04,340 Uh-uh. No, it was a seven-letter word. 664 00:38:05,590 --> 00:38:07,470 Oh, yes, "upstart"! 665 00:38:07,550 --> 00:38:08,890 That's it. Upstart! 666 00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:10,850 Mrs. Teasdale, this man is impossible. 667 00:38:10,930 --> 00:38:13,770 This is an outrage. My course is clear. This means war! 668 00:38:13,850 --> 00:38:15,770 Oh! You runt! 669 00:38:15,850 --> 00:38:17,890 I still like upstart the best. 670 00:38:17,980 --> 00:38:19,900 I shan't stay here a minute longer. 671 00:38:19,980 --> 00:38:21,940 Go and never darken my towels again! 672 00:38:22,020 --> 00:38:23,190 My hat! 673 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:24,690 My towel! Oh! 674 00:38:26,570 --> 00:38:28,200 I happen to know, 675 00:38:28,490 --> 00:38:31,320 that Freedonia's plans of war are in Mrs. Teasdale's possession. 676 00:38:31,410 --> 00:38:32,450 I must get hold of them. 677 00:38:32,540 --> 00:38:33,790 Yes, but how? 678 00:38:33,870 --> 00:38:36,910 We have a weekend guest in Mrs. Teasdale's house. 679 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,370 Miss Marcal. 680 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,040 Now gentlemen, do you mind waiting for me outside? 681 00:38:42,130 --> 00:38:44,130 I'll join you in a moment. 682 00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:50,050 Excuse me. 683 00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,600 Hello? 684 00:39:00,310 --> 00:39:02,810 Yes, I am alone. No, not yet. 685 00:39:02,900 --> 00:39:04,730 But, Vera, we've got to work fast. 686 00:39:04,820 --> 00:39:06,900 You must get hold of those plans tonight. 687 00:39:06,990 --> 00:39:08,860 Chicolini and his partner should be there any minute. 688 00:39:08,950 --> 00:39:10,110 Do everything you can to help them. 689 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,870 But I must be very careful. 690 00:39:11,950 --> 00:39:14,830 There is another guest in here for the weekend. 691 00:39:14,910 --> 00:39:16,160 Firefly. 692 00:39:16,580 --> 00:39:18,200 I don't know. I think he is asleep. 693 00:39:31,890 --> 00:39:33,390 Ring the bell. 694 00:39:37,060 --> 00:39:38,640 Push the button. 695 00:40:29,740 --> 00:40:30,990 You got the plans? 696 00:40:31,070 --> 00:40:32,530 No, but they're somewhere in the house, 697 00:40:32,610 --> 00:40:34,280 and you must find them. 698 00:40:34,370 --> 00:40:37,240 Oh, for heaven's sake, whatever you do, don't make a sound. 699 00:40:37,330 --> 00:40:38,620 If you're found, you're lost. 700 00:40:38,700 --> 00:40:41,660 Oh, you crazy, how can I be lost if I'm found? 701 00:40:44,170 --> 00:40:45,830 Got a flashlight? 702 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:52,760 You don't know how serious this is. 703 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,960 If they catch you, you'll be court-martialed and shot. 704 00:40:55,010 --> 00:40:57,010 Oh, Vera! 705 00:41:00,470 --> 00:41:02,350 I must go before she looks for me. 706 00:41:02,430 --> 00:41:06,100 Now remember, whatever you do, don't make a sound. 707 00:41:56,570 --> 00:41:58,700 You stay here, but keep quiet. 708 00:41:58,780 --> 00:42:00,120 Remember what she said, if we get caught, 709 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,450 we're gonna get, uh, court-plastered. 710 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,510 Your Excellency, I'm worried. I can't sleep. 711 00:42:14,590 --> 00:42:15,670 What? 712 00:42:15,970 --> 00:42:18,260 You're worried? You can't sleep? 713 00:42:18,890 --> 00:42:21,260 That's fine, now you woke me up. Now I can't sleep. 714 00:42:21,350 --> 00:42:22,760 It's about those plans. 715 00:42:22,850 --> 00:42:24,890 I won't rest until they're back in your hands. 716 00:42:27,020 --> 00:42:29,020 Won't you please come over and get them? 717 00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:31,020 Oh, the plans. Okay, I'll be right over. 718 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,070 Let me out! Let me out! 719 00:42:46,660 --> 00:42:47,660 Let me outta here! 720 00:42:47,750 --> 00:42:50,750 Hey, let me outta here or throw me a magazine. 721 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,420 So that's your game, eh? 722 00:42:56,510 --> 00:42:59,760 I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your door in. 723 00:43:08,310 --> 00:43:09,560 Come in. 724 00:43:12,060 --> 00:43:14,980 Oh, Your Excellency, I'm so glad you've come. 725 00:43:15,070 --> 00:43:16,400 I'm glad I come, too. 726 00:43:16,490 --> 00:43:18,030 You got the plans? 727 00:43:18,110 --> 00:43:20,660 Why, Your Excellency, you sound so strange. 728 00:43:20,950 --> 00:43:22,320 Why are you talking like that? 729 00:43:22,410 --> 00:43:26,330 Oh, well, you see, maybe some time I go to Italy and I'm practicing the language. 730 00:43:35,250 --> 00:43:38,260 I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school. 731 00:43:41,180 --> 00:43:43,140 Your dialect is perfect. 732 00:43:43,350 --> 00:43:44,720 I could listen to you all night. 733 00:43:44,810 --> 00:43:47,310 That's all right, but I can't stay here all night. 734 00:43:47,390 --> 00:43:48,430 Where's the plans? 735 00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,140 They're in the safe downstairs. 736 00:43:50,230 --> 00:43:51,430 I'll write out the combination. 737 00:44:03,910 --> 00:44:05,410 Oh, there you are. 738 00:44:05,490 --> 00:44:07,370 Here's the combination. 739 00:44:07,870 --> 00:44:09,370 Is that clear? 740 00:44:10,540 --> 00:44:13,250 Is there anything else you want to know? 741 00:44:13,670 --> 00:44:16,000 What's the matter with you? Have you lost your voice? 742 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:21,010 Let me get you a glass of water, Your Excellency. 743 00:44:25,470 --> 00:44:27,890 Your Excellency, here's your water. 744 00:44:28,060 --> 00:44:29,890 What in the world is the matter with you? 745 00:44:33,650 --> 00:44:36,230 Your Excellency! I thought you left. 746 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:37,980 Oh, no, I no leave. 747 00:44:38,230 --> 00:44:40,110 But I saw you with my own eyes. 748 00:44:40,190 --> 00:44:42,150 Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes? 749 00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:43,280 Oh. 750 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:48,620 Your Excellency, I'm sorry, but this excitement's too much for me. 751 00:44:48,700 --> 00:44:50,160 I feel faint. 752 00:44:50,410 --> 00:44:51,700 Wait, I get you a glass of water. 753 00:45:07,260 --> 00:45:09,010 How about my glass of water? 754 00:45:09,100 --> 00:45:11,430 I give up. How about your glass of water? 755 00:46:02,820 --> 00:46:03,820 What's that? 756 00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:05,190 Sounds to me like mice. 757 00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:07,240 Mice? Mice don't play music. 758 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:08,570 No? How about the old maestro? 759 00:46:08,660 --> 00:46:09,660 Oh. 760 00:46:30,140 --> 00:46:31,600 Get me headquarters. 761 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,310 Not hindquarters, headquarters. 762 00:46:33,890 --> 00:46:35,060 Hello? 763 00:46:35,140 --> 00:46:36,600 Rush the guards right over to Mrs. Teasdale's 764 00:46:36,690 --> 00:46:37,970 and have them surround the house. 765 00:49:41,790 --> 00:49:44,210 His Excellency, Rufus T. Firefly. 766 00:49:44,500 --> 00:49:47,790 Hail, hail Freedonia 767 00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:53,210 Land of the brave and free 768 00:50:05,350 --> 00:50:06,730 Lieutenant! 769 00:50:07,350 --> 00:50:10,310 Why weren't the original indictment papers placed on my portfolio? 770 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:11,980 Why, uh, I didn't think those papers 771 00:50:12,070 --> 00:50:13,610 were important at this time, Your Excellency. 772 00:50:13,690 --> 00:50:15,400 You didn't think they were important? 773 00:50:15,490 --> 00:50:18,200 You realize I had my dessert wrapped in those papers? 774 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,530 Here, take this bottle back and get two cents for it. 775 00:50:22,990 --> 00:50:24,160 Hello, boss. 776 00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:26,410 Chicolini, I bet you eight to one, we find you guilty. 777 00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:29,960 That's a no good. I can get 10 to one at the barbershop. 778 00:50:30,290 --> 00:50:32,500 Chicolini, you're charged with high treason. 779 00:50:32,590 --> 00:50:34,420 And if found guilty, you'll be shot. 780 00:50:34,510 --> 00:50:36,630 I object. Oh, you object. 781 00:50:36,930 --> 00:50:38,130 On what grounds? 782 00:50:38,220 --> 00:50:39,680 I couldn't think of anything else to say. 783 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,300 Objection sustained. 784 00:50:41,390 --> 00:50:43,350 Your Excellency, you sustained the objection? 785 00:50:43,430 --> 00:50:45,680 Sure, I couldn't think of anything else to say either. 786 00:50:45,770 --> 00:50:47,020 Why don't you object? 787 00:50:47,100 --> 00:50:49,350 Chicolini, when were you born? 788 00:50:49,690 --> 00:50:50,690 I don't remember. 789 00:50:50,770 --> 00:50:52,310 I was just a little baby. 790 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,490 Isn't it true you tried to sell Freedonia's secret war code and plans? 791 00:50:56,570 --> 00:50:59,030 Sure, I sold a code and two pair of plans. 792 00:51:00,910 --> 00:51:02,240 It's some joke, eh, boss? 793 00:51:02,330 --> 00:51:04,620 Now I'll bet you 20 to one we find you guilty. 794 00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:07,410 Chicolini, have you anyone here to defend you? 795 00:51:07,500 --> 00:51:08,960 It's no use. 796 00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,210 I even offered to pay as high as $18, 797 00:51:11,290 --> 00:51:13,290 but I no could get somebody to defend me. 798 00:51:13,380 --> 00:51:16,510 My friends, this man's case moves me deeply. 799 00:51:18,300 --> 00:51:19,800 Look at Chicolini, 800 00:51:20,220 --> 00:51:21,970 he sits there alone. 801 00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,050 An abject figure. 802 00:51:24,140 --> 00:51:25,430 I abject! 803 00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:29,520 I say, look at Chicolini, he sits there alone, 804 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,190 a pitiable object. 805 00:51:31,270 --> 00:51:32,730 Let's see you get out of that one. 806 00:51:32,810 --> 00:51:35,730 Surrounded by a sea of unfriendly faces. 807 00:51:35,820 --> 00:51:38,070 Chicolini, give me a number from one to 10. 808 00:51:38,150 --> 00:51:39,490 Eleven. Right! 809 00:51:39,570 --> 00:51:41,070 Now I ask you one. 810 00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,490 What is it has a trunk, but no key, 811 00:51:43,580 --> 00:51:45,580 weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in a circus? 812 00:51:45,660 --> 00:51:46,700 That's irrelevant. 813 00:51:46,790 --> 00:51:49,160 Irrelephant? Hey, that's the answer. 814 00:51:49,250 --> 00:51:51,330 There's a whole lot of irrelephants in a circus. 815 00:51:51,420 --> 00:51:53,250 That sort of testimony we can eliminate. 816 00:51:53,340 --> 00:51:54,750 That's fine, I'll take some. 817 00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:56,130 You'll take what? 818 00:51:56,210 --> 00:51:58,590 A lemonade, a nice, cold glass of lemonade. 819 00:51:58,670 --> 00:52:00,420 Hey, boss, I'm going good. 820 00:52:01,300 --> 00:52:04,300 Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot 821 00:52:04,390 --> 00:52:05,640 and look like an idiot. 822 00:52:05,720 --> 00:52:07,060 But don't let that fool you. 823 00:52:07,140 --> 00:52:08,520 He really is an idiot. 824 00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:09,890 I implore you, 825 00:52:09,980 --> 00:52:12,100 send him back to his father and brothers 826 00:52:12,190 --> 00:52:15,520 who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. 827 00:52:15,610 --> 00:52:19,070 I suggest that we give him 10 years in Leavenworth or 11 years in Twelveworth. 828 00:52:19,150 --> 00:52:20,240 I tell you what I'll do. 829 00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:21,780 I'll take five and 10 in Woolworth. 830 00:52:21,860 --> 00:52:23,200 I wanted to get a writ of habeas corpus, 831 00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:24,620 but I should have gotten rid of you instead. 832 00:52:24,700 --> 00:52:25,950 I object. Even I object. 833 00:52:26,030 --> 00:52:27,030 Then I object, too. 834 00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,620 You're on trial, you can't object. 835 00:52:28,700 --> 00:52:30,330 Your Excellency, 836 00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,870 General Cooper says that the Sylvanian troops 837 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,130 are about to land on Freedonian soil. 838 00:52:35,210 --> 00:52:36,290 This means war. 839 00:52:36,380 --> 00:52:37,550 Something must be done. 840 00:52:37,630 --> 00:52:40,010 War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes. 841 00:52:40,090 --> 00:52:42,050 Hey, I got an uncle lives in Texas. 842 00:52:42,130 --> 00:52:45,180 No, I'm talking about taxes, money, dollars. 843 00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,140 Dallas! That's where my uncle lives, Dallas, Texas! 844 00:52:51,270 --> 00:52:53,480 More bad news. 845 00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:58,440 Didn't I tell you? 846 00:52:58,530 --> 00:53:00,150 Your Excellency. 847 00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:01,820 What's on your mind, babe? 848 00:53:01,900 --> 00:53:03,320 In behalf of the women of Freedonia, 849 00:53:03,410 --> 00:53:07,490 I have taken it upon myself to make one final effort to prevent war. 850 00:53:07,580 --> 00:53:08,660 No kidding? 851 00:53:08,740 --> 00:53:10,120 I've talked to Ambassador Trentino, 852 00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,790 and he says Sylvania doesn't want war either. 853 00:53:12,870 --> 00:53:15,040 Either. Doesn't want war either. 854 00:53:15,130 --> 00:53:16,330 Either. 855 00:53:16,420 --> 00:53:17,670 Skip it. 856 00:53:18,210 --> 00:53:20,960 I've taken the liberty of asking the Ambassador to come over here. 857 00:53:21,050 --> 00:53:25,970 Because we both felt that a friendly conference would settle everything peacefully. 858 00:53:27,180 --> 00:53:28,180 He'll be here any moment. 859 00:53:28,260 --> 00:53:30,680 Mrs. Teasdale, you did a noble deed. 860 00:53:30,770 --> 00:53:32,730 I'd be unworthy of the high trust that's been placed in me 861 00:53:32,810 --> 00:53:34,440 if I didn't do everything within my power 862 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,230 to keep our beloved Freedonia at peace with the world. 863 00:53:37,310 --> 00:53:39,730 I'd be only too happy to meet Ambassador Trentino 864 00:53:39,820 --> 00:53:41,820 and offer him on behalf of my country 865 00:53:41,900 --> 00:53:43,860 the right hand of good fellowship. 866 00:53:43,950 --> 00:53:45,700 And I feel sure that he will accept this gesture 867 00:53:45,780 --> 00:53:48,030 in the spirit in which it is offered. 868 00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:49,990 But suppose he doesn't. 869 00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:51,200 A fine thing that'll be. 870 00:53:51,290 --> 00:53:54,120 I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept it. 871 00:53:54,210 --> 00:53:56,080 That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it? 872 00:53:56,170 --> 00:53:59,040 Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a foreign ambassador. 873 00:53:59,130 --> 00:54:00,340 Who does he think he is 874 00:54:00,420 --> 00:54:03,880 that he can come here and make a sap out of me in front of all my people? 875 00:54:03,970 --> 00:54:06,130 Think of it. I hold out my hand 876 00:54:06,220 --> 00:54:08,640 and that hyena refuses to accept it. 877 00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:10,720 Why the cheap four-flushing swine. 878 00:54:10,810 --> 00:54:12,430 He'll never get away with it, I tell you. 879 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,180 He'll never get away with it! Oh, please! 880 00:54:15,310 --> 00:54:18,100 So, you refuse to shake hands with me, eh? Oh! 881 00:54:18,190 --> 00:54:20,560 Mrs. Teasdale, this is the last straw. There's no turning back now! 882 00:54:20,650 --> 00:54:22,190 This means war! 883 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,740 Then it's war! 884 00:54:27,820 --> 00:54:30,160 Then it's war! Gather the forces! 885 00:54:30,830 --> 00:54:32,280 Harness the horses! 886 00:54:32,370 --> 00:54:33,870 Then it's war! 887 00:54:35,710 --> 00:54:37,000 Freedonia's going to war 888 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:38,580 Each native son will grab a gun 889 00:54:38,670 --> 00:54:39,880 And run away to war 890 00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:41,880 At last we're going to... 891 00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:43,500 Feet will beat along the street to war 892 00:54:43,590 --> 00:54:44,590 We're going to war 893 00:54:44,670 --> 00:54:45,760 At last our country's going to war 894 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,260 It seems our country's going to war 895 00:54:47,340 --> 00:54:48,800 At last the country's going to war 896 00:54:48,890 --> 00:54:50,260 We're going to war 897 00:54:50,350 --> 00:54:51,850 This is a fact we can't ignore 898 00:54:51,930 --> 00:54:53,260 We're going to war 899 00:54:53,350 --> 00:54:54,720 This is a fact we can't ignore 900 00:54:54,810 --> 00:54:56,350 We're going to war 901 00:54:56,430 --> 00:54:57,600 In case you haven't heard before 902 00:54:57,690 --> 00:54:59,130 I think they think we're going to war 903 00:54:59,190 --> 00:55:00,690 I think they think we're going to war 904 00:55:00,770 --> 00:55:02,060 We're going to war 905 00:55:02,150 --> 00:55:03,650 I think they think we're going to war 906 00:55:03,730 --> 00:55:05,280 We're going to war 907 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:06,780 We're going to war 908 00:55:06,860 --> 00:55:08,490 We're going to war 909 00:55:08,570 --> 00:55:09,860 We're going to war 910 00:55:41,150 --> 00:55:44,150 To war, to war We're finally going to war 911 00:55:44,230 --> 00:55:46,900 Oh, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, ho 912 00:55:46,990 --> 00:55:50,030 To war, to war To war we're gonna go 913 00:55:50,110 --> 00:55:53,070 Oh, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, ho 914 00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:56,200 Oh, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, ho 915 00:55:56,290 --> 00:55:59,040 Oh, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, ho 916 00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,210 Oh, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, hi-de, ho 917 00:56:02,290 --> 00:56:06,550 Oh-ho, oh-ho, oh-ho 918 00:56:06,630 --> 00:56:11,590 Oh-ho, oh-ho, oh-ho 919 00:56:12,430 --> 00:56:13,840 Oh-ho 920 00:56:13,930 --> 00:56:15,510 Oh-ho 921 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:20,180 Oh-ho 922 00:56:20,270 --> 00:56:21,890 They got guns 923 00:56:21,980 --> 00:56:23,600 We got guns 924 00:56:23,690 --> 00:56:26,570 All God's children got guns 925 00:56:26,650 --> 00:56:30,320 We're gonna walk all over the battlefield 926 00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,610 'Cause all God's children got guns 927 00:56:34,240 --> 00:56:37,830 Oh, Freedonia Oh, don't you cry for me 928 00:56:37,910 --> 00:56:42,040 'Cause I'm coming 'round the mountain with a banjo on my knee 929 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:45,710 Oh, Freedonia Oh, don't you cry for me 930 00:56:45,790 --> 00:56:47,840 'Cause I'm coming 'round the mountain 931 00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:52,260 With a banjo 932 00:56:52,470 --> 00:56:54,430 On my 933 00:56:55,220 --> 00:56:56,390 Knee 934 00:57:11,190 --> 00:57:14,820 To war, to war To war we're gonna go 935 00:57:14,910 --> 00:57:17,370 To war, to war, to war 936 00:57:27,750 --> 00:57:31,340 To war, to war We soon will say goodbye 937 00:57:31,420 --> 00:57:34,930 Oh, how we'd cry for Firefly if Firefly should die 938 00:57:35,010 --> 00:57:36,640 A mighty man is he 939 00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:40,310 A man of brawn who'll carry on till dawn of victory 940 00:57:40,390 --> 00:57:43,730 With him to lead the way our spirits will not lag 941 00:57:43,810 --> 00:57:47,440 Until the Judgment Day we'll rally round the flag 942 00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:51,690 The flag, the flag, the flag 943 00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:55,200 The enemy is coming! 944 00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:57,070 There'll be two lamps in the steeple if they're coming by land 945 00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,490 and one if they're coming by sea. 946 00:58:03,540 --> 00:58:06,710 They double-crossed me. They're coming by land and sea. 947 00:58:07,130 --> 00:58:08,630 Ride through every village and town! 948 00:58:08,710 --> 00:58:10,500 Wake every citizen uphill and down! 949 00:58:10,590 --> 00:58:12,210 Tell them the enemy comes from afar. 950 00:58:12,300 --> 00:58:14,670 With a hey-nonny-nonny and a ha-cha-cha 951 00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:16,300 Be off, my lad! 952 00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,610 My husband! Quickly! Hide in there. 953 00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:14,780 Oh, don't. 954 00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:21,370 Freedonia's going to war. 955 00:59:21,450 --> 00:59:23,370 I'm gonna take a bath. 956 01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:37,940 Clear all wires. 957 01:00:38,030 --> 01:00:40,110 The enemy has captured Hill 27 and 28. 958 01:00:40,190 --> 01:00:42,150 Throwing 13 hillbillies out of work. 959 01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:45,240 Last night, two snipers crept into our machine gun nest and laid an egg. 960 01:00:45,330 --> 01:00:46,660 Send reinforcements immediately. 961 01:00:46,740 --> 01:00:48,620 Send that off collect. 962 01:00:49,370 --> 01:00:52,500 Your Excellency, our men are being badly beaten in open warfare. 963 01:00:52,580 --> 01:00:53,960 I suggest we dig trenches. 964 01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:56,040 Dig trenches with our men being killed off like flies? 965 01:00:56,130 --> 01:00:57,420 There isn't time to dig trenches. 966 01:00:57,500 --> 01:00:59,460 We'll buy ready-made. Here, run out and get some trenches. 967 01:00:59,550 --> 01:01:00,960 Yes, sir. Wait a minute, 968 01:01:01,050 --> 01:01:02,800 get them this high and our soldiers won't need any pants. 969 01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:04,470 Yes, sir. Wait a minute, 970 01:01:04,550 --> 01:01:05,970 get them this high and we won't need any soldiers. 971 01:01:06,050 --> 01:01:07,140 Yes, sir. 972 01:01:07,220 --> 01:01:09,900 Chicolini, your partner's deserted us, but I'm still counting on you. 973 01:01:09,930 --> 01:01:12,430 There's a machine gun nest near Hill 28. I want it cleaned out. 974 01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:13,890 All right, I'll tell the janitor. 975 01:01:15,150 --> 01:01:16,230 Message from the front, sir. 976 01:01:16,270 --> 01:01:17,830 Oh, I'm sick of messages from the front. 977 01:01:17,900 --> 01:01:20,690 Don't we ever get a message from the side? 978 01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:24,240 What is it? General Smith reports a gas attack. 979 01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:25,320 He wants to know what to do. 980 01:01:25,410 --> 01:01:26,950 Tell him to take a teaspoonful of bicarbonate soda 981 01:01:27,030 --> 01:01:27,990 and a half a glass of water. 982 01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:29,370 Yes, sir. 983 01:01:32,830 --> 01:01:34,330 Any answer to that message? No, sir. 984 01:01:34,420 --> 01:01:36,750 Well, in that case, don't send that. 985 01:01:46,510 --> 01:01:48,680 Gentlemen, this is the last straw. 986 01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:50,930 Where's my Stradivarius? Here, sir. 987 01:01:51,020 --> 01:01:54,560 I'll show them they can't fiddle around with old Firefly. 988 01:01:59,230 --> 01:02:01,530 Look at them run. Now they know they've been in a war. 989 01:02:01,610 --> 01:02:03,030 Your Excellency! 990 01:02:03,110 --> 01:02:04,150 They're fleeing like rats. 991 01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:05,200 But, sir, I've got to tell... 992 01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,610 Remind me to give myself the Firefly Medal for this. 993 01:02:07,700 --> 01:02:10,120 Your Excellency, you're shooting your own men. 994 01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:12,620 What? You're shooting your own men! 995 01:02:13,540 --> 01:02:15,330 Here's $5. Keep it under your hat. 996 01:02:15,420 --> 01:02:18,000 Never mind. I'll keep it under my hat. 997 01:02:18,330 --> 01:02:19,920 Now we've got to have more men or we're lost. 998 01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:23,170 Don't be alarmed, I've got a man combing the countryside for volunteers. 999 01:02:30,050 --> 01:02:33,600 Your Excellency, the army's morale is crumbling. The men are breaking ranks. 1000 01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:34,800 Where's the Secretary of War? 1001 01:02:34,850 --> 01:02:36,640 That's it! Where is the Secretary of War? 1002 01:02:36,730 --> 01:02:38,060 The soldiers are waiting for his orders. 1003 01:02:38,150 --> 01:02:40,690 His Excellency, the Secretary of War. 1004 01:02:46,650 --> 01:02:48,570 Awfully decent of you to drop in today. 1005 01:02:48,660 --> 01:02:50,740 You realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? 1006 01:02:50,870 --> 01:02:52,870 What do you intend to do about it? I've done it already. 1007 01:02:52,950 --> 01:02:55,040 You've done what? I've changed to the other side. 1008 01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,660 So you're on the other side, eh? 1009 01:02:56,750 --> 01:02:57,790 Well, what are you doing over here? 1010 01:02:57,870 --> 01:02:59,790 Well, the food is better over here. 1011 01:03:05,340 --> 01:03:07,380 Chicolini, I need you badly right now. 1012 01:03:07,470 --> 01:03:09,090 What'll you take to come back and work for me again? 1013 01:03:09,180 --> 01:03:10,220 I'll take a vacation. 1014 01:03:10,300 --> 01:03:11,600 Good, you're hired. 1015 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:14,760 Now, go out in that battlefield and lead those men to victory. 1016 01:03:14,850 --> 01:03:16,930 Go on, they're waiting for you. 1017 01:03:17,850 --> 01:03:20,770 I wouldn't go out there unless I was in one of those big iron things 1018 01:03:20,860 --> 01:03:22,810 that go up and down like this. What do you call those things? 1019 01:03:22,900 --> 01:03:24,690 Tanks. You're welcome. 1020 01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,110 Your Excellency, you must come over here at once. 1021 01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:30,360 There's danger here. 1022 01:03:30,450 --> 01:03:32,530 Why don't you come over here? There's no danger here. 1023 01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:47,590 Shh! Rufus. 1024 01:03:50,090 --> 01:03:51,130 Oh! 1025 01:03:54,220 --> 01:03:57,100 Wait a minute, I want to find out something. 1026 01:04:00,770 --> 01:04:02,900 Just as I thought, the coast is clear. 1027 01:04:02,980 --> 01:04:04,150 Rufus! 1028 01:04:04,230 --> 01:04:05,650 Chicolini, to your post! 1029 01:04:05,730 --> 01:04:06,730 Oh! 1030 01:04:06,780 --> 01:04:08,360 Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor 1031 01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:10,150 which is probably more than she ever did. 1032 01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:11,820 Your Excellency! 1033 01:04:12,570 --> 01:04:14,570 There goes my gun. Run out and get that like a good girl. 1034 01:04:14,660 --> 01:04:15,660 Oh, I'm afraid! 1035 01:04:15,740 --> 01:04:16,870 We can't last much longer. 1036 01:04:16,950 --> 01:04:18,500 Our ammunition supplies are very low. 1037 01:04:18,580 --> 01:04:20,180 Man the boats, Lieutenant! I'll get help. 1038 01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,010 Calling all nations! Calling all nations! 1039 01:04:30,090 --> 01:04:31,760 This is Rufus T... 1040 01:04:33,050 --> 01:04:36,140 This is Rufus T. Firefly, coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy. 1041 01:04:36,220 --> 01:04:37,850 We're in a mess, folks! We're in a mess! 1042 01:04:37,930 --> 01:04:40,680 Rush to Freedonia. Three men and one woman are trapped in a building. 1043 01:04:40,770 --> 01:04:41,810 Send help at once. 1044 01:04:41,890 --> 01:04:43,900 If you can't send help, send two more women. 1045 01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:46,610 Make it three more women. 1046 01:04:48,190 --> 01:04:51,360 Your Excellency, we can't hold out much longer. We must have help. 1047 01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:58,450 One of us has got to break through the lines 1048 01:04:58,540 --> 01:05:00,220 and get word to General Cooper and his men. 1049 01:05:02,210 --> 01:05:03,370 Quiet back there! 1050 01:05:03,460 --> 01:05:05,040 Which one of us is gonna have the rare privilege 1051 01:05:05,130 --> 01:05:06,920 of sacrificing his life for his country? 1052 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,300 We draw lots. Wait! I got it. 1053 01:05:09,880 --> 01:05:13,720 Ringspot! Vonza, twoza, zig-zag-zav, popti, vinaga, tin-li-tav. 1054 01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:16,600 Harem-scarem, merchan-tarem, teir, tore... 1055 01:05:17,140 --> 01:05:20,350 I did it wrong. Wait, wait, wait, I start here. 1056 01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,600 Ringspot! Vonza, twoza, zig-zag-zav, popti, vinaga, tin-li-tav. 1057 01:05:23,690 --> 01:05:26,020 Harem-scarem, merchan-tarem, teir, tore... 1058 01:05:26,110 --> 01:05:27,730 That's no good, too. 1059 01:05:27,820 --> 01:05:28,940 Oh, I got it. I got it. 1060 01:05:29,030 --> 01:05:30,570 Ringspot! Buck! 1061 01:05:31,150 --> 01:05:33,780 You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines! 1062 01:05:33,860 --> 01:05:36,910 And remember, while you're out there risking life and limb through shot and shell, 1063 01:05:36,990 --> 01:05:39,410 we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are. 1064 01:05:39,490 --> 01:05:41,620 Goodbye, Mont Blanc, goodbye. 1065 01:05:42,410 --> 01:05:43,960 For Freedonia! For Freedonia! 1066 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,540 For Freedonia! 1067 01:05:49,090 --> 01:05:50,630 Gloria! Gloria! 1068 01:05:50,710 --> 01:05:51,920 Where did they get you? 1069 01:05:52,010 --> 01:05:53,010 Oh! 1070 01:05:54,010 --> 01:05:56,340 Hey, careful with the water. It's the only water we got. 1071 01:05:56,430 --> 01:05:58,010 Well, it's the only woman we got. 1072 01:06:04,980 --> 01:06:07,020 We're surrounded! They're attacking from the rear. 1073 01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:08,150 They're coming this way. 1074 01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:09,810 We'll barricade the door. 1075 01:06:19,660 --> 01:06:21,790 This is Firefly talking! Send help at once! 1076 01:06:21,870 --> 01:06:23,910 Help is on the way! 1077 01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,080 Carry on, men! Help is on the way! 1078 01:06:50,650 --> 01:06:51,940 They got me. 1079 01:06:52,020 --> 01:06:53,400 They got me. 1080 01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:54,480 Water! 1081 01:06:59,410 --> 01:07:00,570 Water! 1082 01:07:06,370 --> 01:07:08,290 - Get me out of this! - Get me out of this! 1083 01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:14,050 The last time this happened to me I was crawling under a bed. 1084 01:07:14,130 --> 01:07:15,380 Oh, if help would only come. 1085 01:07:17,510 --> 01:07:19,090 Your Excellency! 1086 01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:31,100 Any mail for me while I was gone? 1087 01:07:33,270 --> 01:07:35,530 Oh, don't touch me! Get away from me! 1088 01:07:38,110 --> 01:07:39,150 Oh! 1089 01:07:39,450 --> 01:07:40,490 Oh! 1090 01:07:47,910 --> 01:07:49,080 Hey, Trentino! 1091 01:07:49,290 --> 01:07:51,290 Trentino, eh? That's game. 1092 01:07:54,340 --> 01:07:56,250 Trentino! Trentino, eh? 1093 01:07:57,170 --> 01:07:59,130 Call me an upstart, eh? 1094 01:07:59,260 --> 01:08:01,300 I surrender! I surrender! 1095 01:08:01,390 --> 01:08:03,970 I'm sorry, you'll have to wait until the fruit runs out. 1096 01:08:04,050 --> 01:08:05,470 Victory is ours! 1097 01:08:05,930 --> 01:08:09,730 Hail, hail Freedonia 1098 01:08:09,810 --> 01:08:14,060 Land of the brave