1 00:01:35,958 --> 00:01:38,378 - Mrs. Teasdale... - Yes, your Excellency? 2 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:40,548 I again ask you to reconsider. 3 00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:44,639 Gentlemen, I've already loaned Freedonia more than half the fortune my husband left me. 4 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:50,146 I consider that money lost. And now you're asking for another $20 million. 5 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,152 But it would only be for a few months to meet this present emergency. 6 00:01:54,194 --> 00:01:55,822 With $20 million in the treasury, 7 00:01:55,863 --> 00:01:57,741 we can announce an immediate reduction in the taxes. 8 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,452 That's all of the people are asking for. 9 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,872 I'm sorry, but I'm inclined to agree with the people. 10 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,917 - The government has been mismanaged. - What? 11 00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:08,090 I will lend the money but only on condition that his Excellency withdraw 12 00:02:08,132 --> 00:02:09,926 and place the government in new hands. 13 00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:12,889 - You ask me to give up my office? - Yes, your Excellency. 14 00:02:12,931 --> 00:02:15,935 In a crisis like this, I feel Freedonia needs a new leader, 15 00:02:15,977 --> 00:02:17,980 a progressive, fearless fighter! 16 00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:22,445 - A man like Rufus T. Firefly! - Rufus T. Firefly? 17 00:02:22,486 --> 00:02:27,911 I will lend the money to Freedonia only if Firefly is appointed leader. 18 00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:54,326 The honorable Secretary of Finance and Party. 19 00:03:03,674 --> 00:03:07,221 His Excellency, Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania. 20 00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:17,611 - Ambassador. - Mrs. Teasdale. 21 00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:20,533 It was so good of you to come. 22 00:03:20,616 --> 00:03:22,869 I'm anxious for you to meet the new leader of our country. 23 00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:25,582 No matter who rules in Freedonia, Mrs. Teasdale, to me 24 00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:28,420 you will always be the first lady of the land. 25 00:03:28,545 --> 00:03:31,632 Oh, permit me. This is Miss Vera Marcal. 26 00:03:31,674 --> 00:03:33,844 - Ambassador Trentino. - Miss Marcal needs no introduction, 27 00:03:33,886 --> 00:03:36,264 I've seen her dance many times at the theater. 28 00:03:36,306 --> 00:03:37,808 Thank you. 29 00:03:38,809 --> 00:03:41,355 The honorable Pandooh of Mifhtan. 30 00:03:41,397 --> 00:03:42,857 I must greet his honor. 31 00:03:49,785 --> 00:03:52,373 - What have you found out? - Nothing, I've been waiting to hear from you. 32 00:03:52,414 --> 00:03:55,335 I've given up the idea of a revolution. I have a better plan. 33 00:03:55,377 --> 00:03:59,883 I can gain control of Freedonia much easier by marrying Mrs. Teasdale. 34 00:04:00,551 --> 00:04:02,136 Maybe that's not going to be so easy. 35 00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:07,895 Oh, from what I hear, you see, Mrs. Teasdale is rather sweet on this Rufus T. Firefly. 36 00:04:07,937 --> 00:04:11,192 Oh well, that's where you come in. I'm going to place him in your hands. 37 00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:14,697 And I don't have to tell you what to do or how to... careful. 38 00:04:16,367 --> 00:04:18,869 I want you to meet his Excellency's Secretary. 39 00:04:18,911 --> 00:04:21,749 - Bob Roland. Ambassador Trentino. - How do you do, sir? 40 00:04:21,791 --> 00:04:24,253 - Miss Marcal. - We've met. 41 00:04:24,296 --> 00:04:27,008 I hope his Excellency gets here soon. 42 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:30,137 His Excellency makes it a point always to be on time. 43 00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:33,684 As long as I've known him, he's never been late for an appointment. 44 00:04:33,726 --> 00:04:37,273 His Excellency is due to take his station 45 00:04:37,315 --> 00:04:40,695 Beginning his new administration 46 00:04:40,737 --> 00:04:43,616 He'll make his appearance when 47 00:04:43,657 --> 00:04:47,497 The clock on the wall strikes ten 48 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:51,002 When the clock on the wall strikes ten 49 00:04:51,044 --> 00:04:55,091 All you loyal ladies and you patriotic men 50 00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:59,473 Let's sing the national anthem when 51 00:04:59,515 --> 00:05:03,187 The clock on the wall strikes ten 52 00:05:09,988 --> 00:05:13,953 His Excellency is due to take his station 53 00:05:13,994 --> 00:05:17,250 Beginning his new administration 54 00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:20,003 He'll make his appearance when 55 00:05:20,045 --> 00:05:24,594 The clock on the wall strikes ten 56 00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:32,481 We'll give him a rousing cheer 57 00:05:32,523 --> 00:05:35,235 To show him we're glad he's here 58 00:05:35,277 --> 00:05:42,412 Hail, hail Freedonia 59 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:49,590 Hail, hail Freedonia 60 00:05:49,632 --> 00:05:53,179 Land of the brave 61 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:58,771 and free 62 00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:14,669 Hail, hail Freedonia 63 00:06:14,711 --> 00:06:21,096 Land of the brave and free 64 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,981 Hail, hail Freedonia 65 00:06:28,023 --> 00:06:33,781 Land of the brave and free 66 00:06:42,419 --> 00:06:45,340 - You expecting somebody? - Yes. 67 00:06:45,716 --> 00:06:49,180 Hail, hail Freedonia 68 00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:54,855 Land of the brave and free 69 00:06:54,897 --> 00:06:59,153 Oh, your Excellency, we've been expecting you. 70 00:06:59,236 --> 00:07:01,239 As chairwoman of the reception committe, 71 00:07:01,281 --> 00:07:04,870 I extend the good wishes of every man, woman and child of Freedonia. 72 00:07:04,912 --> 00:07:06,665 Never mind that stuff. Take a card. 73 00:07:06,706 --> 00:07:10,044 - Card? What'll I do with a card? - You can keep it. I've got 51 left. 74 00:07:10,086 --> 00:07:13,216 - Now what were you saying? - As chairwoman of the reception committe, 75 00:07:13,257 --> 00:07:17,806 - I welcome you with open arms. - Is that so? How late do you stay open? 76 00:07:17,973 --> 00:07:20,811 I've sponsored your appointment because I feel you are 77 00:07:20,852 --> 00:07:24,817 - the most able statesman in all Freedonia. - Well, that covers a lot of ground. 78 00:07:24,858 --> 00:07:27,612 Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You'd better beat it. 79 00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:30,283 I hear they're gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. 80 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:32,912 You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. 81 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:35,249 If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. 82 00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:37,043 You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came. 83 00:07:37,085 --> 00:07:39,589 You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. 84 00:07:39,755 --> 00:07:42,635 The future of Freedonia rests on you. 85 00:07:42,677 --> 00:07:46,892 Promise me you'll follow in the footsteps of my husband. 86 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,061 How do you like that? I haven't been on the job five minutes 87 00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:51,190 and already she's making advances to me. 88 00:07:51,315 --> 00:07:54,820 - Not that I care but, where is your husband? - Why... he's dead. 89 00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:56,990 I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. 90 00:07:57,032 --> 00:08:00,871 - I was with him 'til the very end. - Mmmh, no wonder he passed away. 91 00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:04,585 I held him in my arms and kissed him. 92 00:08:04,627 --> 00:08:06,253 Oh, I see. Then it was murder! 93 00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:09,592 Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first. 94 00:08:09,634 --> 00:08:11,805 - He left me his entire fortune. - Is that so? 95 00:08:11,846 --> 00:08:14,809 Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you! 96 00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:18,773 - Oh, your Excellency! - You're not so bad yourself. 97 00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:24,031 Oh, I want to present you Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania. 98 00:08:24,073 --> 00:08:26,702 Having him with us today is indeed a great pleasure. 99 00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:30,331 - Thank you, but I can't stay very long. - That's even a greater pleasure. 100 00:08:30,749 --> 00:08:33,670 Now how about lending this country $20 million, you old skinflint? 101 00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:37,551 $20 million is a lot of money. I'd have to take that up with my Minister of Finance. 102 00:08:37,592 --> 00:08:40,431 Well, in the meantime, could you let me have $12 until payday? 103 00:08:40,472 --> 00:08:42,684 - $12? - Don't be scared. You'll get it back. 104 00:08:42,726 --> 00:08:44,478 I'll give you my personal note for 90 days. 105 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,272 If it isn't paid by then, you can keep the note. 106 00:08:46,565 --> 00:08:49,819 Your Excellency, haven't we seen each other somewhere before? 107 00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:52,699 I don't think so. I'm not sure I'm seeing you now. Must be something I ate. 108 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:57,122 - Look here Sir! Are you trying to... - Don't look now... 109 00:08:57,164 --> 00:09:00,002 but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you. 110 00:09:00,419 --> 00:09:02,672 Oh, I'm so sorry. 111 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:06,845 - I want you to meet a very charming lady. - And it's about time. 112 00:09:06,887 --> 00:09:08,806 Just a moment! 113 00:09:09,474 --> 00:09:11,602 I want to present Miss Vera Marcal. 114 00:09:11,645 --> 00:09:15,233 - Go ahead. I can take it. - Oh, you don't understand. 115 00:09:15,274 --> 00:09:18,780 - This is Vera Marcal, the famous dancer. - Is that so? 116 00:09:18,822 --> 00:09:20,699 Can you do this one? 117 00:09:23,746 --> 00:09:25,414 I danced before Napoleon. 118 00:09:25,456 --> 00:09:28,878 No, napoleon danced before me. In fact, he danced 200 years before me. 119 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,925 Here's one I picked up in a dance hall. 120 00:09:33,385 --> 00:09:35,722 Here's another one I picked up in a dance hall. 121 00:09:37,057 --> 00:09:41,230 Perhaps sometime we get a chance to dance together, huh? 122 00:09:41,272 --> 00:09:43,400 I could dance with you 'til the cows come home. 123 00:09:43,442 --> 00:09:46,655 On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows 'til you come home. 124 00:09:47,114 --> 00:09:49,617 - Where is my secretary? - Here I am. 125 00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:51,287 Good heavens, your Excellency! 126 00:09:51,328 --> 00:09:52,914 - Take a letter. - Who to? 127 00:09:52,956 --> 00:09:54,584 To my dentist. 128 00:09:54,709 --> 00:10:00,009 "Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500. Yours very truly. " Send it off immediately! 129 00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:03,305 - I'll have to enclose the check first. - You do and I'll fire you. 130 00:10:03,347 --> 00:10:06,685 Your Excellency, the eyes of the world are upon you. 131 00:10:07,186 --> 00:10:10,816 Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. 132 00:10:10,858 --> 00:10:13,236 This is a gala day for you. 133 00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:16,200 Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more. 134 00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:19,245 If it's not asking too much... 135 00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:23,460 For our information, just for illustration 136 00:10:23,503 --> 00:10:29,094 Tell us how you intend to run the nation 137 00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:33,684 These are the laws of my administration 138 00:10:33,892 --> 00:10:36,939 No one's allowed to smoke or tell a dirty joke 139 00:10:36,981 --> 00:10:39,443 And whistling is forbidden 140 00:10:39,485 --> 00:10:42,281 We're not allowed to tell a dirty joke 141 00:10:42,322 --> 00:10:45,201 Hail, hail Freedonia 142 00:10:45,243 --> 00:10:48,081 If chewing gum is chewed the chewer is pursued 143 00:10:48,123 --> 00:10:50,334 And in the hoosegow hidden 144 00:10:50,376 --> 00:10:52,379 If we choose to chew we'll be pursued 145 00:10:53,088 --> 00:10:56,051 If any form of pleasure is exhibited 146 00:10:56,135 --> 00:10:58,597 Report to me and it will be prohibited 147 00:10:58,763 --> 00:11:02,060 I'll put my foot down so shall it be 148 00:11:02,102 --> 00:11:05,565 This is the land of the free 149 00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:08,612 The last man nearly ruined this place, he didn't know what to do with it 150 00:11:08,653 --> 00:11:11,784 If you think this country's bad off now just wait 'til I get through with it 151 00:11:16,582 --> 00:11:19,336 The country's taxes must be fixed and I know what to do with it 152 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:23,385 If you think you're paying too much now just wait 'til I get through with it 153 00:11:28,892 --> 00:11:32,189 I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair 154 00:11:32,231 --> 00:11:35,110 I'm strictly on the up and up so everyone beware 155 00:11:35,151 --> 00:11:38,573 If anyone's caught taking graft and I don't get my share 156 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,661 We stand 'em up against the wall and pop goes the weasel 157 00:11:41,703 --> 00:11:44,749 So everyone beware who's crooked or unfair 158 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:48,046 No one must take a bit of graft unless he gets his share 159 00:11:51,217 --> 00:11:54,139 If any man should come between a husband and his bride 160 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:57,268 We find out which one she prefers by letting her decide 161 00:11:57,310 --> 00:12:00,356 If she prefers the other man the husband steps outside 162 00:12:00,398 --> 00:12:04,404 We stand 'em up against the wall and pop goes the weasel 163 00:12:07,158 --> 00:12:10,330 The husband steps outside relinquishes his bride 164 00:12:10,371 --> 00:12:13,751 They stand him up against the wall and take away his bride 165 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:16,172 You have an appointment at the House of Representatives. 166 00:12:17,298 --> 00:12:20,136 Good heavens! You can't go with your trousers up! 167 00:12:20,178 --> 00:12:22,765 I can't, eh? Well, they'll never catch me any other way. 168 00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:25,393 - My car! - His Excellency's car! 169 00:12:25,435 --> 00:12:27,731 His Excellency's car! 170 00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:30,318 His Excellency's car! 171 00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:53,394 I'm in a hurry. To the House of Representatives. Ride like fury. 172 00:12:53,436 --> 00:12:56,065 If you run out of gas, get ethyl. If Ethel runs out, get Mabel. 173 00:12:56,107 --> 00:12:57,692 Now step on it! 174 00:13:05,245 --> 00:13:07,708 Well, it certainly feels good to be back again. 175 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,402 - I have failed, ambassador. - I know it, I know it, you idiot! 176 00:13:26,444 --> 00:13:28,989 - I'm sorry. - You have muddled everything. 177 00:13:29,031 --> 00:13:31,786 If you'd started the revolution as I planned, you in the turmoil, 178 00:13:31,827 --> 00:13:36,334 I could've stepped in and placed Freedonia under the Sylvanian flag, our flag. 179 00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:37,836 But Firefly blocked us! 180 00:13:37,878 --> 00:13:41,216 Your Excellency, you have no idea how popular he is in Freedonia. 181 00:13:41,258 --> 00:13:42,885 I've known of that too! 182 00:13:42,927 --> 00:13:45,597 That's why I have two spies shadowing him. 183 00:13:45,639 --> 00:13:48,769 I want to find out something about him, something to disgrace him, 184 00:13:48,811 --> 00:13:50,814 to discredit him with the people. 185 00:13:51,232 --> 00:13:54,027 Ambassador, Chicolini and Pinky are here. 186 00:13:54,069 --> 00:13:57,073 Now, these are my spies. Show them in. Wait outside. 187 00:14:05,461 --> 00:14:07,173 We fool you good, eh? 188 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:09,425 Gentlemen! 189 00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:18,564 Gentlemen, what is this? 190 00:14:18,606 --> 00:14:20,609 Shh! This is spy stuff. 191 00:14:26,868 --> 00:14:28,788 - Telegram for you, sir. - Oh. 192 00:14:34,046 --> 00:14:37,133 - He gets mad because he can't read. - Oh, I see. 193 00:14:37,175 --> 00:14:39,471 Well, gentlemen, we have serious matters to discuss. 194 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,767 - Please be seated. - Rock-a-bye 195 00:14:42,809 --> 00:14:44,895 Gentlemen, gentlemen! Now about that information... 196 00:14:44,937 --> 00:14:49,611 Wait, wait, wait, wait here, have a cigar. That's a good quarter cigar. 197 00:14:49,653 --> 00:14:53,074 - I smoked the other three quarters myself. - Yes. No, thank you, I have one of my own. 198 00:14:53,116 --> 00:14:54,660 Here, try one of these! 199 00:14:56,788 --> 00:14:58,374 Hey, that's a no good. 200 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,472 That's a good! That's-a fine. 201 00:15:08,973 --> 00:15:10,309 That's a good. 202 00:15:13,939 --> 00:15:15,609 Now let's concentrate. 203 00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:18,196 Have you been trailing Firefly? 204 00:15:18,237 --> 00:15:20,574 Have we been trailing Firefly. 205 00:15:20,616 --> 00:15:23,037 Why, my partner, he's got a nose just like a bloodhound. 206 00:15:23,078 --> 00:15:23,996 Really? 207 00:15:24,038 --> 00:15:26,500 Yeah, and the rest of his face don't look so good either. 208 00:15:27,877 --> 00:15:30,589 Well, we find out all about this Firefly. 209 00:15:30,631 --> 00:15:33,009 - Here, look at this. - Ah, very good, very good! 210 00:15:33,051 --> 00:15:35,263 Wait a minute. We must not be disturbed. 211 00:15:37,182 --> 00:15:39,812 - Yes, sir? - This is a very important conference. 212 00:15:39,853 --> 00:15:42,482 - I do not wish to be interrupted. - Yes, sir. 213 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,487 Uh-uh, uh-uh! 214 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:50,035 Gentlemen, we are not getting anywhere. 215 00:15:54,625 --> 00:15:55,877 You're out! 216 00:15:56,962 --> 00:16:00,467 Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Now gentlemen, please! 217 00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:04,015 Will you tell me what you found out about Firefly? 218 00:16:04,057 --> 00:16:07,103 Well, you remember you gave us a picture of this man and said "follow him"? 219 00:16:07,145 --> 00:16:08,062 Oh yes. 220 00:16:08,104 --> 00:16:10,065 Well, we get on the job right away. 221 00:16:10,107 --> 00:16:13,194 - And in a one hour, even a less than a one hour, - Yes? 222 00:16:13,236 --> 00:16:15,907 We lose a the pictch. That's-a pretty quick work, eh? 223 00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:18,328 But I asked you to dig up something I can use against Firefly. 224 00:16:18,369 --> 00:16:19,997 Did you bring me his record? 225 00:16:21,499 --> 00:16:23,377 No, no! 226 00:16:26,381 --> 00:16:28,509 And the boy gets-a cigar. 227 00:16:31,598 --> 00:16:36,104 Now Chicolini, I want a full detailed report of your investigation. 228 00:16:36,146 --> 00:16:40,361 All right, I tell you. Monday, we watch-a Firefly's house, but he no come out. 229 00:16:40,402 --> 00:16:41,571 He wasn't home. 230 00:16:41,613 --> 00:16:45,034 Tuesday, we go to the ball game, but he fool us. He no show up. 231 00:16:45,076 --> 00:16:48,498 Wednesday, he go to the ball game, but we fool him! We no show up. 232 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:51,044 Thursday was a double-header, nobody show up. 233 00:16:51,086 --> 00:16:53,381 Friday, it rained all day. There was a no ball game. 234 00:16:53,422 --> 00:16:55,425 So we stayed home and we listened to it on-a the radio. 235 00:16:55,467 --> 00:16:57,929 Then you didn't shadow Firefly! 236 00:16:57,971 --> 00:17:00,474 Oh, sure we shadow Firefly. We shadow him all day. 237 00:17:00,516 --> 00:17:03,062 - But what day was that? - "Shaderday"! 238 00:17:03,104 --> 00:17:05,022 That's-a some joke, huh, boss? 239 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:10,991 - Will you tell me, what happened on Saturday? - I'm glad you asked me. 240 00:17:11,032 --> 00:17:13,244 We follow this man down to a road house. 241 00:17:13,286 --> 00:17:15,664 - And at this road house he meet a married lady. - A married lady? 242 00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:18,586 - Yeah, I think it was his wife. - Firefly has no wife! 243 00:17:18,627 --> 00:17:20,171 - No? - No! 244 00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:21,423 - Then you know what I think? - What? 245 00:17:21,465 --> 00:17:24,260 I think we followed the wrong man. 246 00:17:24,385 --> 00:17:28,266 Oh, gentlemen, I am disappointed. 247 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:32,689 I entrusted you with a mission of great importance and you failed. 248 00:17:32,731 --> 00:17:35,903 However, I am going to give you one more chance. 249 00:17:35,944 --> 00:17:41,370 I have credentials here that will get you into any place in Freedonia. 250 00:17:41,411 --> 00:17:45,124 If I can only... Ah, here we are. 251 00:17:45,292 --> 00:17:48,713 Are you sure that you can trap Firefly? 252 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,638 Remember, this time I expect results. 253 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,308 - Good-bye and good luck. - Okay, cap. 254 00:17:57,435 --> 00:18:00,022 - Come on, Pinky. - Good-bye. 255 00:18:25,686 --> 00:18:27,856 All right, the meeting's called to order. 256 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,028 Your Excellency, here's the Treasury Department's report. 257 00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:32,821 I hope you'll find it clear. 258 00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:37,078 Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. 259 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,333 Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail out of it. 260 00:18:40,374 --> 00:18:44,422 And now, members of the cabinet, we'll take up old business. 261 00:18:44,464 --> 00:18:47,803 - I wish to discuss the tariff. - Sit down, that's new business. 262 00:18:47,844 --> 00:18:50,891 No old business? Very well, then we'll take up new business. 263 00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:55,189 - Now about that tariff. - Too late! That's old business already. Sit down. 264 00:18:55,231 --> 00:18:59,153 - Gentlemen, as your Secretary of War, I... - The Secretary of War is out of order! 265 00:18:59,195 --> 00:19:02,074 Which reminds me, so is the plumbing. Make a note of that. 266 00:19:02,116 --> 00:19:04,160 Never mind, I'll do it myself. 267 00:19:06,748 --> 00:19:08,500 The Department of Labor wishes to report 268 00:19:08,542 --> 00:19:10,921 that the workers of Freedonia are demanding shorter hours. 269 00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:12,506 Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. 270 00:19:12,548 --> 00:19:14,927 We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes. 271 00:19:14,969 --> 00:19:18,391 And now, gentlemen, we've got to start looking for a new Treasurer. 272 00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:21,437 - But you appointed one last week! - That's the one I'm looking for. 273 00:19:21,478 --> 00:19:25,568 Gentlemen, gentlemen, enough of this. How about taking up the tax? 274 00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:29,073 - How about taking up the carpet? - I still insist we must take up the tax! 275 00:19:29,115 --> 00:19:31,994 It's right, you've got to take up the "tacks" before you can take up the carpet. 276 00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:35,791 I give all my time and energy to my duties and what do I get? 277 00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:39,505 - You get awfully tiresome after a while. - Sir, you try my patience. 278 00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:42,092 I don't mind if I do. You must come over and try mine sometime. 279 00:19:42,134 --> 00:19:46,725 That's the last straw! I resign! I wash my hands of the whole business. 280 00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:49,229 That's a good idea. You can wash your neck, too. 281 00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:51,941 Peanuts! 282 00:20:06,003 --> 00:20:07,214 Hey, come here! 283 00:20:08,048 --> 00:20:10,219 Just the guy I wanna see. 284 00:20:10,636 --> 00:20:13,098 What do you find out about this guy Firefly? 285 00:20:13,223 --> 00:20:16,436 You find out-a something? You no find out-a something? 286 00:20:16,477 --> 00:20:19,399 You spy on him? You no spy on him? 287 00:20:19,816 --> 00:20:22,487 What's-a matter? All the time I talk to you, you no say-a nothing. 288 00:20:22,529 --> 00:20:25,241 What's-a matter you no speak, eh? 289 00:20:25,366 --> 00:20:29,581 Stop-a this! What-a you find, eh? What-a you find? 290 00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:31,792 That's-a no good! 291 00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:33,754 Hey, come here. You're a crazy. What's the matter with you? 292 00:20:33,795 --> 00:20:36,174 Why you make a face like-a this? What's the matter with you? 293 00:20:36,215 --> 00:20:39,137 Ah, come on, you wanna fight, huh? You wanna fight? 294 00:20:39,179 --> 00:20:40,931 Come on, I give you fight. 295 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,435 Hey, upstairs this time, no downstairs! 296 00:20:44,144 --> 00:20:45,063 Come on. 297 00:20:46,607 --> 00:20:48,275 What you think you are, eh? 298 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,587 Hey, what's the idea of fighting in front of my place 299 00:21:01,629 --> 00:21:04,926 - and driving my customers away? - Hey mister, you got a mistake-a someplace. 300 00:21:04,968 --> 00:21:07,846 I no fight. You understand, this guy he's-a working for me. 301 00:21:07,888 --> 00:21:09,599 I ask-a something, and he no tell-a me nothing. 302 00:21:09,641 --> 00:21:11,477 I ask-a why he no speak, all the time he no speak. 303 00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:14,857 What do you think he do? He make-a fight-a go like this. 304 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:16,109 Hey, what's the idea? 305 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,488 That's-a not my idea, that's-a his idea. 306 00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:20,615 All time I say something, he no say nothing. 307 00:21:20,657 --> 00:21:23,370 - Every time I say... - Will you shut up! 308 00:21:23,996 --> 00:21:26,750 Hey listen, what are you doing around here? 309 00:21:27,168 --> 00:21:28,920 Who are you? 310 00:21:30,005 --> 00:21:33,927 Hey, can't you say... can't you say anything? 311 00:21:33,969 --> 00:21:36,222 - No! He no say nothing, he... - Aw, shut up! 312 00:21:36,264 --> 00:21:38,101 I am-a shut up, but mister you no understand. 313 00:21:38,143 --> 00:21:39,227 Look, he's a spy and I'm a spy. He work-a for me. 314 00:21:39,269 --> 00:21:42,775 I want him to find out something but he no find out what I wanna find out. 315 00:21:42,816 --> 00:21:44,526 How am I gonna find out what I wanna find out... 316 00:21:44,568 --> 00:21:48,449 - If he no find out what I gotta find out? - Will you quit annoying me? 317 00:21:48,491 --> 00:21:51,579 All right, I quit. All you gotta do is make him stop doing this. 318 00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:58,382 Now just for that I'm gonna tear you limb from limb, limb from limb! 319 00:22:01,677 --> 00:22:03,764 You'd think... 320 00:22:14,656 --> 00:22:18,662 You see, I no say one thing, mister, before when you... No, no. 321 00:23:06,317 --> 00:23:07,860 Haven't I... 322 00:23:10,114 --> 00:23:12,660 Oh! Now, now I'm gonna get you! 323 00:23:18,585 --> 00:23:19,878 What are you doing? 324 00:23:23,259 --> 00:23:25,095 Why, you... 325 00:23:48,380 --> 00:23:52,010 - I'll teach you to kick me! - You don't have to teach me. I know how. 326 00:23:54,931 --> 00:23:56,726 Stop it now. Look out! 327 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:02,568 - Ohhh! - That's-a good, eh? 328 00:24:05,322 --> 00:24:08,577 Peanuts! 329 00:24:08,869 --> 00:24:10,497 Hey! 330 00:24:13,125 --> 00:24:14,878 You wanna be a public nuisance? 331 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,881 Sure, how much does the job pay? 332 00:24:16,923 --> 00:24:19,760 I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. 333 00:24:19,802 --> 00:24:22,473 Peanuts... to you! 334 00:24:22,515 --> 00:24:24,476 - Have you got a license? - License? 335 00:24:24,518 --> 00:24:27,105 No, but-a my dog, he's gotta millions of 'em. 336 00:24:27,188 --> 00:24:29,651 Believe me, he's some smart dog. 337 00:24:29,693 --> 00:24:31,862 You know he went with Admiral Byrd to the Pole. 338 00:24:31,903 --> 00:24:33,949 I'll bet the dog got to the pole first. 339 00:24:35,450 --> 00:24:37,788 Come on up here. I wanna scare the cabinet. 340 00:24:40,709 --> 00:24:45,007 Hello? Hello? No, no, he's not in. 341 00:24:45,048 --> 00:24:47,177 All right, I tell him. Good-bye. 342 00:24:47,469 --> 00:24:48,763 That was for you. 343 00:24:48,929 --> 00:24:51,349 I'm sorry I'm not in. I want to have a long talk with you. 344 00:24:51,391 --> 00:24:53,854 Now listen here. You give up that silly peanut stand 345 00:24:53,896 --> 00:24:55,856 and I'll get you a soft government job. 346 00:24:55,898 --> 00:24:59,070 Now let's see, how would you like a job in the Mint? 347 00:24:59,111 --> 00:25:02,241 Mint? No, no. I no like-a mint. 348 00:25:02,366 --> 00:25:04,745 What other flavor you got? 349 00:25:05,538 --> 00:25:09,335 Hello? Hello? No, not yet. 350 00:25:09,377 --> 00:25:12,089 All right, I tell him. Good-bye. Thank you. 351 00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:15,719 - That was for you again. - I wonder whatever became of me. 352 00:25:15,761 --> 00:25:18,099 I should have been back here a long time ago. 353 00:25:18,140 --> 00:25:20,142 Now listen here, I've got a swell job for you, 354 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,106 but first I have to ask you a couple of important questions. 355 00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:26,444 Now, what is it that has four pair of pants, 356 00:25:26,486 --> 00:25:28,155 lives in Philadelphia, 357 00:25:28,197 --> 00:25:30,826 and it never rains but it pours? 358 00:25:31,368 --> 00:25:33,747 That's a good one. I give you three guesses. 359 00:25:33,789 --> 00:25:37,127 Now let me see, has four pair of pants, lives in Philadelphia... 360 00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:39,797 - Is it male or female? - No, I don't think so. 361 00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:42,719 - Is he dead? - Who? 362 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,308 - I don't know. I give up! - I give up too. 363 00:25:46,349 --> 00:25:48,311 Now I ask you another one. 364 00:25:48,352 --> 00:25:50,856 What is it got big black-a moustache, 365 00:25:50,898 --> 00:25:53,067 smokes a big black cigar, 366 00:25:53,109 --> 00:25:55,446 and he's a big pain in the neck? 367 00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:58,409 Don't tell me. Has a big black moustache, 368 00:25:59,118 --> 00:26:01,121 smokes a big black cigar, 369 00:26:01,456 --> 00:26:04,335 and is a big pain in the... 370 00:26:04,376 --> 00:26:07,380 - Does he wear glasses? - That's right. You guess it quick. 371 00:26:07,422 --> 00:26:10,093 - Just for that, you don't get the job I was gonna give you. - What job? 372 00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:13,766 - Secretary of War! - All right, I take it. - Sold! 373 00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:34,505 You know, I'd be lost without a telephone. 374 00:26:34,547 --> 00:26:36,258 Hey, don't go away, I wanna talk to you. 375 00:26:36,299 --> 00:26:38,886 Now, where were we? Oh, yes! Now that you're Secretary of War, 376 00:26:38,928 --> 00:26:40,472 what kind of an army do you think we oughta have? 377 00:26:40,514 --> 00:26:44,061 Well, I tell you what I think. I think we should have a standing army. 378 00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:46,106 Why should we have a standing army? 379 00:26:46,148 --> 00:26:48,276 Because then we save money on chairs! 380 00:26:51,655 --> 00:26:53,283 Peanuts! 381 00:26:55,244 --> 00:26:56,496 Scat! 382 00:27:05,259 --> 00:27:07,220 Say, who are you anyway? 383 00:27:09,892 --> 00:27:11,352 I don't go in much for modern art. 384 00:27:11,393 --> 00:27:13,898 Have you got anything by one of the old masters? 385 00:27:18,404 --> 00:27:19,447 Not bad. 386 00:27:19,489 --> 00:27:21,785 You don't happen to have her telephone number? 387 00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:29,212 Say, you could be a big help to me. 388 00:27:29,338 --> 00:27:30,422 Where do you live? 389 00:27:34,178 --> 00:27:36,640 Well, it's not much of a place, but it's home. 390 00:27:37,725 --> 00:27:39,561 Meow! 391 00:27:43,024 --> 00:27:44,777 Well, I know one thing, 392 00:27:44,944 --> 00:27:47,114 I bet you haven't got a picture of my grandfather. 393 00:27:50,703 --> 00:27:52,497 Uh-uh! Not now! 394 00:27:53,875 --> 00:27:55,209 Some other time. 395 00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:09,356 - Your Excellency? - Quiet! 396 00:28:10,024 --> 00:28:11,525 This letter's the work of Trentino. 397 00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:14,614 The man is trying to undermine you. Now, what are you gonna do about it? 398 00:28:14,697 --> 00:28:17,076 I've got a good mind to ring his doorbell and run. 399 00:28:17,118 --> 00:28:20,331 We've got to get rid of that man at once. I've got a plan. 400 00:28:20,373 --> 00:28:23,418 You say something to make him mad and he'll strike you! 401 00:28:23,460 --> 00:28:25,589 And we force him to leave the country. 402 00:28:25,631 --> 00:28:28,510 That's a swell plan. Why couldn't you arrange for me to strike him? 403 00:28:28,551 --> 00:28:32,349 Ambassador Trentino is a very sensitive man. Perhaps if you insult him... 404 00:28:32,391 --> 00:28:34,018 He's very easy to insult. 405 00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:37,565 Why, I said something to Vera Marcal in his presence and he slapped my face. 406 00:28:37,607 --> 00:28:39,819 - Why didn't Vera slap your face? - She did. 407 00:28:39,860 --> 00:28:41,113 What'd you say to her? 408 00:28:44,617 --> 00:28:45,995 You oughta be ashamed of yourself. 409 00:28:46,036 --> 00:28:48,415 - Where'd you hear that story? - You told it to me. 410 00:28:48,456 --> 00:28:50,126 Oh yes! I remember. 411 00:28:50,167 --> 00:28:53,298 I should've slapped Mrs. Teasdale's face when she told it to me. 412 00:28:53,381 --> 00:28:55,843 - Where is Trentino? - At Mrs. Teasdale's tea party. 413 00:28:55,885 --> 00:28:57,178 - Was I invited? - No. 414 00:28:57,220 --> 00:28:58,638 Take a letter! 415 00:29:00,266 --> 00:29:03,312 "You are cordially invited to attend my tea party. " 416 00:29:03,980 --> 00:29:06,817 Sign Mrs. Teasdale's name and tell her I accept. 417 00:29:06,859 --> 00:29:08,195 Come on, let's go. 418 00:29:16,582 --> 00:29:18,668 I've got an appointment to insult Ambassador Trentino, 419 00:29:18,710 --> 00:29:21,590 and I don't want to keep him waiting! Step on it! 420 00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:28,266 This is the fifth trip I've made today and I haven't been anywhere yet. 421 00:29:41,870 --> 00:29:45,584 You don't seem to be making much progress with Mrs. Teasdale, huh? 422 00:29:45,626 --> 00:29:51,092 How can I? Every time I get her in the right mood to say "yes," Firefly pops in. 423 00:29:51,134 --> 00:29:55,306 Well, this is your opportunity. He won't be here today. 424 00:29:55,348 --> 00:29:57,853 - Are you sure? - Positive! 425 00:29:57,894 --> 00:30:01,984 I helped Mrs. Teasdale with the invitations. 426 00:30:02,735 --> 00:30:05,906 His Excellency, Rufus T. Firefly! 427 00:30:05,948 --> 00:30:11,164 Hail, hail Freedonia 428 00:30:11,205 --> 00:30:19,509 Land of the brave and free 429 00:30:22,514 --> 00:30:24,977 Gloria, I waited for years. I can't be put off any longer. 430 00:30:25,019 --> 00:30:28,190 I love you, I want you! Can't you see I'm at your feet? 431 00:30:28,232 --> 00:30:30,527 When you get through with her feet, you can start on mine. 432 00:30:30,693 --> 00:30:32,822 If that isn't an insult, I don't know what is. 433 00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:36,202 Gloria, I love you. I realize how lonely you are. 434 00:30:36,244 --> 00:30:38,330 Can't we go someplace where we can be by ourselves? 435 00:30:38,372 --> 00:30:40,792 What can this mug offer you? Wealth and family? 436 00:30:40,835 --> 00:30:44,882 I can't give you wealth, but... we can have a little family of our own. 437 00:30:44,924 --> 00:30:46,634 Oh, Rufus! 438 00:30:46,676 --> 00:30:49,347 All I can offer you is a "roof-us" over your head. 439 00:30:49,389 --> 00:30:52,726 Your Excellency, I really don't know what to say. 440 00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:55,481 I wouldn't know what to say either if I was in your place. 441 00:30:55,523 --> 00:30:56,984 Maybe you can suggest something. 442 00:30:57,025 --> 00:31:00,738 As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon. 443 00:31:00,781 --> 00:31:01,741 What? 444 00:31:01,782 --> 00:31:05,788 I'm sorry I said that. It isn't fair to the rest of the baboons. 445 00:31:05,830 --> 00:31:08,709 This man's conduct is inexcusable! 446 00:31:08,752 --> 00:31:11,756 - Gentlemen! Gentlemen! - I did not come here to be insulted! 447 00:31:11,797 --> 00:31:13,467 - That's what you think. - You swine! 448 00:31:13,508 --> 00:31:15,343 - Come again? - You worm! 449 00:31:15,385 --> 00:31:16,930 - Once more. - You upstart! 450 00:31:16,972 --> 00:31:18,432 That's it! 451 00:31:19,224 --> 00:31:21,103 - Touche! - Mrs. Teasdale, I'm afraid this regrettable 452 00:31:21,145 --> 00:31:23,105 occurrence may plunge our countries into war. 453 00:31:23,147 --> 00:31:24,358 Oh, this is terrible! 454 00:31:24,399 --> 00:31:26,861 I've said enough. I'm a man of few words. 455 00:31:26,903 --> 00:31:29,074 I'm a man of one word: scram! 456 00:31:29,115 --> 00:31:31,786 A man doesn't live who can call a Firefly an upstart. 457 00:31:31,911 --> 00:31:35,500 Why, the Mayflower was full of Fireflys... and a few horseflies too. 458 00:31:35,541 --> 00:31:37,086 The Fireflys were on the upper deck 459 00:31:37,127 --> 00:31:39,046 and the horseflies were on the Fireflys. 460 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:45,014 - Good day, my sweet. - Oh, your Excellency, I must speak to you! 461 00:31:45,056 --> 00:31:47,726 I'll see you at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. 462 00:31:47,768 --> 00:31:50,689 - After you get there, you're on your own. - His Excellency's car! 463 00:31:50,730 --> 00:31:53,235 His Excellency's car! 464 00:31:55,112 --> 00:31:57,408 No, no, you don't. I'm not taking any more chances. 465 00:31:57,449 --> 00:32:01,622 You can only fool a Firefly twice. This time you ride in the sidecar. 466 00:32:15,351 --> 00:32:17,605 This is the only way to travel. 467 00:32:21,194 --> 00:32:23,112 Hey, Pinky, come here. 468 00:32:23,822 --> 00:32:28,496 Watch-a the stand. Come on, Pastrami, come on. 469 00:33:22,911 --> 00:33:24,748 Oh! 470 00:33:46,029 --> 00:33:47,782 Hey! Hey what's... 471 00:33:49,284 --> 00:33:50,786 What's the matter? 472 00:33:55,919 --> 00:34:00,008 Mrs. Teasdale, I deeply regret the unfortunate affair with his Excellency, 473 00:34:00,050 --> 00:34:02,137 but his attitude left me no alternative. 474 00:34:02,178 --> 00:34:06,852 - Maybe we can still avoid this terrible war. - Oh, if we only could. 475 00:34:06,893 --> 00:34:08,856 - Oh yes, I do... - Ah! 476 00:34:08,897 --> 00:34:11,943 Mrs. Teasdale, I have been recalled by my president. 477 00:34:11,985 --> 00:34:14,822 - Then it's too late? - Not if his Excellency will listen to reason. 478 00:34:14,864 --> 00:34:19,121 I am prepared to pocket my pride and forget about the whole matter... if he is. 479 00:34:19,204 --> 00:34:23,252 Ambassador, that's wonderful of you, but I'm afraid his Excellency won't hear of it. 480 00:34:23,294 --> 00:34:25,881 Oh, perhaps he will listen to you! 481 00:34:25,922 --> 00:34:28,259 - Do you think so? - Yes, of course! 482 00:34:28,301 --> 00:34:29,553 I'll call him. 483 00:34:39,485 --> 00:34:43,115 I hate to disturb you, I know you're a very busy man, 484 00:34:43,157 --> 00:34:44,743 but I must see you at once. 485 00:34:44,785 --> 00:34:47,288 Where are you? Oh. 486 00:34:47,330 --> 00:34:50,459 Why not come over here? Come in the back way. No one will see you. 487 00:34:50,918 --> 00:34:53,089 Well, if you think of it, bring some cheese. 488 00:34:55,008 --> 00:34:57,220 But your Excellency, you must come over. 489 00:34:57,262 --> 00:35:00,350 It's a long story. I can't tell it to you over the phone. 490 00:35:00,392 --> 00:35:02,060 Oh, it's that kind of a story! 491 00:35:02,102 --> 00:35:04,982 You oughta be ashamed of yourself. I'll be right over. 492 00:35:05,023 --> 00:35:08,988 He'll be right over. Perhaps you'd better wait outside until I've had a chance to talk to him. 493 00:35:09,029 --> 00:35:11,199 Very well, we'll be out here if you want us. 494 00:35:23,259 --> 00:35:25,596 - Oh! - How'd you get in here? 495 00:35:25,637 --> 00:35:28,601 Oh your Excellency, I'm so sorry to have to disturb you! 496 00:35:28,642 --> 00:35:32,565 - Will you ever forgive me? - After I leave here tonight, will you forgive me? 497 00:35:33,608 --> 00:35:35,110 Here are the plans of war. 498 00:35:35,152 --> 00:35:37,989 They're as valuable as your life and that's putting them pretty cheap. 499 00:35:38,031 --> 00:35:41,161 Watch them like a cat watches her kittens. Have you ever had kittens? 500 00:35:41,203 --> 00:35:44,166 No, of course not. You're too busy running around playing bridge. 501 00:35:44,208 --> 00:35:46,460 Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you. 502 00:35:46,502 --> 00:35:49,090 - Why don't you marry me? - Why, marry you? 503 00:35:49,131 --> 00:35:50,842 You take me and I'll take a vacation. 504 00:35:50,884 --> 00:35:52,678 I'll need a vacation if we're going to get married. 505 00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:57,268 Married! I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove, 506 00:35:57,310 --> 00:35:59,105 but I can't see the stove. 507 00:35:59,188 --> 00:36:01,817 Come, come! Say the word and you'll never see me again! 508 00:36:03,069 --> 00:36:04,822 Gloria. 509 00:36:09,662 --> 00:36:12,875 Rufus, what are you thinking of? 510 00:36:13,167 --> 00:36:16,673 Oh, I was just thinking of all the years I've wasted collecting stamps. 511 00:36:16,715 --> 00:36:18,466 Oh! 512 00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:23,850 Oh, I suppose you'll think me a sentimental old fluff, but... 513 00:36:23,891 --> 00:36:28,149 would you mind giving me a lock of your hair? - A lock of my hair? 514 00:36:29,275 --> 00:36:30,861 Oh, I had no idea... 515 00:36:30,903 --> 00:36:33,907 I'm letting you off easy. I was gonna ask for the whole wig. 516 00:36:40,334 --> 00:36:42,669 So you've come to ask for clemency? 517 00:36:42,712 --> 00:36:47,511 Your Excellency, the Ambassador's here on a friendly visit. He's had a change of heart. 518 00:36:47,552 --> 00:36:50,181 A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. 519 00:36:51,141 --> 00:36:54,395 I'm sorry we lost our tempers. I'm willing to forget if you are. 520 00:36:54,437 --> 00:36:56,566 Forget? You ask me to forget? 521 00:36:56,608 --> 00:36:58,820 A Firefly never forgets. 522 00:36:58,903 --> 00:37:02,659 Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves and I'd only have to bury them again. 523 00:37:02,742 --> 00:37:07,207 Nothing doing! I'm going back and clean the crackers out of my bed. I'm expecting company. 524 00:37:07,249 --> 00:37:09,710 - Please wait. - Let go of me, you bully! 525 00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:14,175 I'm willing to do anything to prevent this war. 526 00:37:14,217 --> 00:37:17,514 It's too late. I've already paid a month's rent on the battlefield. 527 00:37:17,597 --> 00:37:21,186 Oh, your Excellency, isn't there something I can do? 528 00:37:21,228 --> 00:37:23,398 Yes, but I'll talk to you about that later. 529 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,779 Won't you reconsider? Please relent for my sake. 530 00:37:27,821 --> 00:37:30,784 Well, maybe I am a little headstrong, 531 00:37:30,826 --> 00:37:33,913 but I come by it honestly. My father was a little headstrong. 532 00:37:33,955 --> 00:37:36,209 My mother was a little armstrong. 533 00:37:36,251 --> 00:37:40,132 The headstrongs married the armstrongs and that's why darkies were born. 534 00:37:41,550 --> 00:37:44,013 It was silly of me to lose my temper... 535 00:37:44,055 --> 00:37:45,890 On account of that little thing you called me. 536 00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:48,519 Little thing I called you? What did I call you? 537 00:37:48,561 --> 00:37:51,774 Gosh, I don't even remember what it was. 538 00:37:52,776 --> 00:37:57,324 - Well, do you mean "worm"? - No, that wasn't it. 539 00:37:57,491 --> 00:38:00,579 - I know, "swine. " - Uh-uh. 540 00:38:00,621 --> 00:38:03,250 No, it was a seven letter word. 541 00:38:03,416 --> 00:38:07,214 - Oh yes, "upstart"! - That's it. Upstart! 542 00:38:07,256 --> 00:38:09,008 Mrs. Teasdale, this man is impossible. 543 00:38:09,050 --> 00:38:12,097 This is an outrage. My course is clear. This means war! 544 00:38:12,681 --> 00:38:15,811 - You runt! - I still like upstart the best. 545 00:38:15,894 --> 00:38:20,192 - I shan't stay here a minute longer. - Go and never darken my towels again! 546 00:38:20,234 --> 00:38:23,280 - My hat! - My towel! 547 00:38:24,490 --> 00:38:26,577 I happen to know... 548 00:38:26,618 --> 00:38:29,414 that Freedonia's plans of war are in Mrs. Teasdale's possession. 549 00:38:29,456 --> 00:38:31,877 - I must get hold of them. - Yes, but how? 550 00:38:31,918 --> 00:38:35,006 We have a weekend guest in Mrs. Teasdale's house. 551 00:38:35,047 --> 00:38:37,050 Miss Marcal. 552 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:41,599 Now gentlemen, do you mind waiting for me outside? I'll join you in a moment. 553 00:38:46,565 --> 00:38:48,401 Excuse me. 554 00:38:56,330 --> 00:38:57,790 Hello? 555 00:38:58,207 --> 00:39:00,920 Yes, I am alone. No, not yet. 556 00:39:00,961 --> 00:39:04,759 Vera, we've got to work fast. You must get hold of those plans tonight. 557 00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:08,139 Chicolini and his partner should be there any minute. Do everything you can to help them. 558 00:39:08,181 --> 00:39:12,437 But I must be very careful. There is another guest in here for the weekend. 559 00:39:12,813 --> 00:39:17,236 Firefly. I don't know, I think he is asleep. 560 00:39:29,838 --> 00:39:31,632 Ring the bell. 561 00:39:35,013 --> 00:39:36,807 Push the button. 562 00:40:27,759 --> 00:40:30,680 - You gotta the plans? - No, but they're somewhere in the house, 563 00:40:30,722 --> 00:40:35,521 and you must find them. Oh, for Heaven's sake, whatever you do, don't make a sound. 564 00:40:35,563 --> 00:40:40,111 - If you're found, you're lost. - You craz', how can I be lost if I'm found? 565 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,242 Got a flashlight? 566 00:40:45,785 --> 00:40:47,664 Shh! Shh! 567 00:40:48,915 --> 00:40:50,877 You don't know how serious this is. 568 00:40:50,918 --> 00:40:53,297 If they catch you, you'll be court-martialed and shot. 569 00:40:53,339 --> 00:40:55,383 Oh, Vera! 570 00:40:58,555 --> 00:41:00,224 I must go before she looks for me. 571 00:41:00,266 --> 00:41:04,773 Now remember, whatever you do, don't make a sound. 572 00:41:54,681 --> 00:41:56,934 You stay here, but keep quiet. 573 00:41:56,976 --> 00:42:01,107 Remember what she said, if we get caught, we're gonna get, uh, court-plastered. 574 00:42:09,912 --> 00:42:12,792 Your Excellency, I'm worried. I can't sleep. 575 00:42:12,833 --> 00:42:16,923 What? You're worried? You can't sleep? 576 00:42:17,006 --> 00:42:19,427 That's fine, now you woke me up. Now I can't sleep. 577 00:42:19,469 --> 00:42:24,142 It's about those plans. I won't rest until they're back in your hands. 578 00:42:25,143 --> 00:42:27,273 Won't you please come over and get them? 579 00:42:27,314 --> 00:42:29,943 Oh, the plans. Okay, I'll be right over. 580 00:42:37,287 --> 00:42:39,916 Let me out! Let me out! 581 00:42:44,798 --> 00:42:45,799 Let me outta here! 582 00:42:45,841 --> 00:42:48,929 Hey, let me outta here or throw me a magazine! 583 00:42:53,102 --> 00:42:56,107 So that's your game, hey? I'll huff and I'll puff 584 00:42:56,149 --> 00:42:58,527 and I'll blow your door in! 585 00:43:06,414 --> 00:43:07,750 Come in. 586 00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:12,673 Oh, your Excellency, I'm so glad you've come. 587 00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:16,221 I'm glad I come too. You gotta the plans? 588 00:43:16,262 --> 00:43:20,769 Why, your Excellency, you sound so strange. Why are you talking like that? 589 00:43:20,811 --> 00:43:25,192 Oh you see, maybe sometime I go to Italy and I'm practicing the language. 590 00:43:33,413 --> 00:43:36,876 I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school. 591 00:43:39,256 --> 00:43:43,095 Your dialect is perfect. I could listen to you all night. 592 00:43:43,137 --> 00:43:45,514 That's all right, but I can't stay here all night. 593 00:43:45,556 --> 00:43:48,394 - Where's the plans? - They're in the safe downstairs. 594 00:43:48,436 --> 00:43:50,689 I'll write out the combination. 595 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:05,586 Oh, there you are. Here's the combination. 596 00:44:05,962 --> 00:44:07,840 Is that clear? 597 00:44:08,716 --> 00:44:11,054 Is there anything else you want to know? 598 00:44:11,804 --> 00:44:14,934 What's the matter with you? Have you lost your voice? 599 00:44:15,936 --> 00:44:19,775 Let me get you a glass of water, your Excellency. 600 00:44:23,656 --> 00:44:26,201 Your Excellency, here's your water! 601 00:44:26,368 --> 00:44:29,121 What in the world is the matter with...? 602 00:44:32,418 --> 00:44:34,713 Your Excellency, I thought you left. 603 00:44:34,755 --> 00:44:38,386 - Oh no, I no leave. - But I saw you with my own eyes. 604 00:44:38,427 --> 00:44:41,140 Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes? 605 00:44:43,227 --> 00:44:47,150 Your Excellency, I'm sorry, but this excitement's too much for me. 606 00:44:47,191 --> 00:44:50,779 - I feel faint. - Wait, I get you a glass of water. 607 00:45:05,468 --> 00:45:10,017 - How about my glass of water? - I give up. How about your glass of water? 608 00:46:01,051 --> 00:46:02,179 What's that? 609 00:46:02,220 --> 00:46:05,601 - Sounds to me like mice. - Mice? Mice don't play music. 610 00:46:05,642 --> 00:46:07,896 No? How about the old maestro? 611 00:46:28,343 --> 00:46:32,015 Get me headquarters. Not hindquarters, headquarters. 612 00:46:32,224 --> 00:46:36,605 Hello? Rush the guards right over to Mrs. Teasdale's and have 'em surround the house. 613 00:49:40,131 --> 00:49:43,136 His Excellency, Rufus T. Firefly. 614 00:49:43,178 --> 00:49:46,182 Hail, hail Freedonia 615 00:49:46,224 --> 00:49:51,774 Land of the brave and free 616 00:50:03,709 --> 00:50:05,336 Lieutenant! 617 00:50:05,712 --> 00:50:08,799 Why weren't the original indictment papers placed in my portfolio? 618 00:50:08,841 --> 00:50:12,054 Why eh... I didn't think those papers were important at this time, your Excellency. 619 00:50:12,096 --> 00:50:13,932 You didn't think they were important? 620 00:50:13,974 --> 00:50:16,561 You realize I had my dessert wrapped in those papers? 621 00:50:16,644 --> 00:50:19,316 Here, take this bottle back and get two cents for it. 622 00:50:20,943 --> 00:50:22,446 Hello, boss! 623 00:50:22,487 --> 00:50:24,781 Chicolini, I bet you eight to one we find you guilty. 624 00:50:24,823 --> 00:50:27,870 That's-a no good. I can get ten to one at the barbershop. 625 00:50:28,537 --> 00:50:32,752 Chicolini, you're charged with high treason. And if found guilty, you'll be shot. 626 00:50:32,793 --> 00:50:35,173 - I object. - Oh, you object! 627 00:50:35,215 --> 00:50:38,470 - On what grounds? - I couldn't think of anything else to say. 628 00:50:38,512 --> 00:50:41,641 - Objection sustained. - Your Excellency, you sustained the objection? 629 00:50:41,682 --> 00:50:45,355 Sure, I couldn't think of anything else to say either. Why don't you object? 630 00:50:45,396 --> 00:50:47,900 Chicolini, when were you born? 631 00:50:47,942 --> 00:50:50,613 I don't remember. I was just a little baby. 632 00:50:50,655 --> 00:50:54,953 Isn't it true you tried to sell Freedonia's secret war code and plans? 633 00:50:54,994 --> 00:50:57,540 Sure, I sold a code and two pair of plans. 634 00:50:59,084 --> 00:51:00,837 It's some joke, eh, boss? 635 00:51:00,878 --> 00:51:02,965 Now I'll bet you twenty to one we find you guilty. 636 00:51:03,006 --> 00:51:05,969 Chicolini, have you anyone here to defend you? 637 00:51:06,010 --> 00:51:09,516 It's-a no use. I even offered to pay as high as $18, 638 00:51:09,558 --> 00:51:11,936 but I no could getta somebody to defend me. 639 00:51:11,978 --> 00:51:15,817 My friends, this man's case moves me deeply. 640 00:51:16,484 --> 00:51:20,657 Look at Chicolini, he sits there alone. 641 00:51:20,867 --> 00:51:24,079 - An abject figure. - I "abject"! 642 00:51:24,705 --> 00:51:29,630 I say, look at Chicolini, he sits there alone, a pitiable object! 643 00:51:29,671 --> 00:51:34,262 Let's see you get outta that one. Surrounded by a sea of unfriendly faces! 644 00:51:34,304 --> 00:51:36,514 Chicolini, give me a number from one to ten! 645 00:51:36,556 --> 00:51:38,143 - Eleven. - Right! 646 00:51:38,185 --> 00:51:41,898 Now I ask you one. What is it has a trunk, but no key, 647 00:51:41,940 --> 00:51:44,026 weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in a circus? 648 00:51:44,068 --> 00:51:46,155 - That's irrelevant. - Irr-"elephant"? 649 00:51:46,197 --> 00:51:49,743 Hey, that's the answer. There's a whole lotta of irr-elephants in a circus. 650 00:51:49,785 --> 00:51:51,704 That sort of testimony we can eliminate! 651 00:51:51,746 --> 00:51:54,584 - That's-a fine, I'll take some. - You'll take what? 652 00:51:54,626 --> 00:51:57,296 A "liminate", a nice, cold glass-a lemonade. 653 00:51:57,338 --> 00:51:59,132 Hey, boss, I'm going good. 654 00:51:59,174 --> 00:52:04,014 Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot. 655 00:52:04,056 --> 00:52:06,853 But don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. 656 00:52:06,894 --> 00:52:10,316 I implore you. Send him back to his father and brothers 657 00:52:10,358 --> 00:52:13,737 who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. 658 00:52:13,863 --> 00:52:17,452 I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth or eleven years in Twelveworth. 659 00:52:17,493 --> 00:52:20,205 I tell you what I'll do. I'll take five and ten in Woolworth. 660 00:52:20,247 --> 00:52:23,210 I wanted to get a writ of Habeas Corpus, but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead. 661 00:52:23,252 --> 00:52:24,420 - I object. - Even I object. 662 00:52:24,462 --> 00:52:27,300 - Then I object too. - You're on trial, you can't object. 663 00:52:27,341 --> 00:52:30,096 Your Excellency, general Cooper says 664 00:52:30,138 --> 00:52:33,434 that the Sylvanian troops are about to land on Freedonian soil. 665 00:52:33,476 --> 00:52:35,979 - This means war! - Something must be done. 666 00:52:36,021 --> 00:52:38,484 War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes. 667 00:52:38,525 --> 00:52:40,402 Hey, I got an uncle lives in Texas. 668 00:52:40,444 --> 00:52:43,866 No! I'm talking about taxes, money, dollars. 669 00:52:43,908 --> 00:52:47,246 Dallas! That's where my uncle lives, Dallas, Texas! 670 00:52:50,335 --> 00:52:52,003 More bad news. 671 00:52:55,717 --> 00:52:58,180 - Didn't I tell you? - Your Excellency. 672 00:52:58,514 --> 00:53:01,643 - What's on your mind, babe? - In behalf of the women of Freedonia, 673 00:53:01,685 --> 00:53:05,649 I have taken it upon myself to make one final effort to prevent war. 674 00:53:05,691 --> 00:53:08,486 - No kidding? - I've talked to Ambassador Trentino, 675 00:53:08,529 --> 00:53:11,157 and he says Sylvania doesn't want war either. 676 00:53:11,199 --> 00:53:13,411 - "Either. " - Doesn't want war "either. " 677 00:53:13,452 --> 00:53:15,998 Either. Skip it. 678 00:53:16,331 --> 00:53:19,336 I've taken the liberty of asking the ambassador to come over here. 679 00:53:19,378 --> 00:53:24,468 Because we both felt that a friendly conference would settle everything peacefully. 680 00:53:25,387 --> 00:53:26,639 He'll be here any moment. 681 00:53:26,681 --> 00:53:29,018 Mrs. Teasdale, you did a noble deed. 682 00:53:29,059 --> 00:53:31,104 I'd be unworthy of the high trust that's been placed in me 683 00:53:31,146 --> 00:53:35,652 if I didn't do everything within my power to keep our beloved Freedonia at peace with the world. 684 00:53:35,694 --> 00:53:38,115 I'd be only too happy to meet Ambassador Trentino 685 00:53:38,157 --> 00:53:42,205 and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. 686 00:53:42,246 --> 00:53:46,252 And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit in which it is offered. 687 00:53:46,336 --> 00:53:49,590 But suppose he doesn't. A fine thing that'll be. 688 00:53:49,632 --> 00:53:52,470 I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept it. 689 00:53:52,512 --> 00:53:54,473 That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it? 690 00:53:54,515 --> 00:53:57,519 Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a foreign ambassador! 691 00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,980 Who does he think he is that he can come here 692 00:54:00,022 --> 00:54:02,402 and make a sap out of me in front of my people? 693 00:54:02,443 --> 00:54:04,488 Think of it. I hold out my hand 694 00:54:04,530 --> 00:54:07,075 and that hyena refuses to accept it. 695 00:54:07,117 --> 00:54:09,036 Why, the cheap four-flushing swine! 696 00:54:09,078 --> 00:54:11,998 He'll never get away with it, I tell you! He'll never get away with it! 697 00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,501 Oh, please! 698 00:54:13,584 --> 00:54:16,589 So, you refuse to shake hands with me, eh? 699 00:54:16,631 --> 00:54:19,051 Mrs. Teasdale, this is the last straw! There's no turning back now! 700 00:54:19,093 --> 00:54:20,762 This means war! 701 00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:26,062 Then it's war! 702 00:54:26,104 --> 00:54:29,025 Then it's war! Gather the forces! 703 00:54:29,066 --> 00:54:32,279 Harness the horses! Then it's war! 704 00:54:33,656 --> 00:54:36,911 - Freedonia's going to war - Each son will grab a gun 705 00:54:36,953 --> 00:54:40,334 - And run away to war. - At last we're going to 706 00:54:40,375 --> 00:54:42,086 Feet will beat along the street to war 707 00:54:42,128 --> 00:54:44,172 - We're going to war - Our country's going to war 708 00:54:44,213 --> 00:54:47,218 - Our country's going to war - The country's going to war 709 00:54:47,260 --> 00:54:50,224 We're going to war this is a fact we can't ignore 710 00:54:50,265 --> 00:54:54,480 We're going to war, this is a fact we can't ignore we're going to war 711 00:54:54,521 --> 00:54:59,028 In case you haven't heard before I think they think we're going to war 712 00:54:59,070 --> 00:55:01,950 We're going to war I think they think we're going to war 713 00:55:01,991 --> 00:55:05,162 We're going to war going to war 714 00:55:05,204 --> 00:55:08,668 - We're going to war - We're going to war 715 00:55:39,505 --> 00:55:42,594 To war, to war we're finally going to war 716 00:55:42,635 --> 00:55:45,389 Hi-de, hi-de hi-de, hi-de ho 717 00:55:45,431 --> 00:55:48,478 To war, to war to war we're gonna go 718 00:55:48,519 --> 00:55:51,315 Hi-de, hi-de hi-de, hi-de ho 719 00:55:51,357 --> 00:55:54,570 Hi-de, hi-de hi-de, hi-de ho 720 00:55:54,612 --> 00:55:57,659 Hi-de, hi-de hi-de, hi-de ho 721 00:55:57,700 --> 00:56:00,829 Hi-de, hi-de hi-de, hi-de ho 722 00:56:18,565 --> 00:56:22,112 They got guns, we got guns 723 00:56:22,153 --> 00:56:25,032 All God's children got guns 724 00:56:25,074 --> 00:56:28,788 We're gonna walk all over the battlefield 725 00:56:28,830 --> 00:56:32,544 'Cause all God's children got guns 726 00:56:32,586 --> 00:56:36,258 Oh Freedonia oh don't you cry for me 727 00:56:36,300 --> 00:56:40,389 'Cause I'm coming 'round the mountain with a banjo on my knee 728 00:56:40,431 --> 00:56:43,977 Oh Freedonia oh don't you cry for me 729 00:56:44,019 --> 00:56:46,273 'Cause I'm coming 'round the mountain 730 00:56:46,315 --> 00:56:50,654 with a banjo 731 00:56:50,697 --> 00:56:53,826 on my... 732 00:57:09,683 --> 00:57:13,314 To war, to war, to war we're gonna go 733 00:57:13,356 --> 00:57:17,027 To war, to war, to war 734 00:57:26,250 --> 00:57:29,755 To war, to war, we soon will say good-bye 735 00:57:29,797 --> 00:57:33,720 How we'll cry for Firefly if Firefly should die. 736 00:57:33,761 --> 00:57:35,263 A mighty man is he 737 00:57:35,305 --> 00:57:38,810 A man of brawn who'll carry on 'til dawn of victory 738 00:57:38,852 --> 00:57:42,232 With him to lead the way our spirits will not lag 739 00:57:42,274 --> 00:57:45,946 Until the judgment day we'll rally 'round the flag 740 00:57:45,988 --> 00:57:50,828 The flag, the flag, the flag! 741 00:57:52,539 --> 00:57:55,585 The enemy is coming! There'll be two lamps in the steeple if they're coming by land 742 00:57:55,627 --> 00:57:57,589 and one if they're coming by sea. 743 00:58:01,970 --> 00:58:05,434 They double-crossed me. They're coming by land and sea! 744 00:58:05,559 --> 00:58:09,022 Ride through every village and town! Wake every citizen up hill and down! 745 00:58:09,064 --> 00:58:13,238 Tell 'em the enemy comes from afar with a hey-nonny-nonny and a ha-cha-cha! 746 00:58:13,279 --> 00:58:15,406 Be off, my lad! 747 00:59:07,903 --> 00:59:10,907 My husband! Hide in... hide in there! 748 00:59:11,784 --> 00:59:12,993 Oh, don't. 749 00:59:17,709 --> 00:59:22,132 - Freedonia's going to war! - I'm gonna take a bath. 750 01:00:33,824 --> 01:00:37,579 Clear all wires. The enemy has captured hill 27 and 28. 751 01:00:37,621 --> 01:00:39,582 Throwing 13 hillbillies out of work. 752 01:00:39,624 --> 01:00:42,670 Last night two snipers crept into our machine-gun nest and laid an egg. 753 01:00:42,712 --> 01:00:45,592 Send reinforcements immediately. Send that off collect. 754 01:00:46,801 --> 01:00:50,140 Your Excellency, our men are being badly beaten in open warfare. 755 01:00:50,181 --> 01:00:51,517 - I suggest we dig trenches. - Dig trenches? 756 01:00:51,559 --> 01:00:54,855 With our men being killed off like flies there isn't time to dig trenches. 757 01:00:54,897 --> 01:00:57,484 - We'll buy ready-made. Here, run out and get some trenches. - Yes, sir. 758 01:00:57,526 --> 01:01:00,907 - Wait a minute, get 'em this high and our soldiers won't need any pants. - Yes, sir. 759 01:01:00,948 --> 01:01:04,536 - Wait a minute, get 'em this high and we won't need any soldiers. - Yes, sir. 760 01:01:04,578 --> 01:01:07,373 Chicolini, your partner's deserted us, but I'm still counting on you. 761 01:01:07,415 --> 01:01:09,920 There's a machine-gun nest near hill 28. I want it cleaned out. 762 01:01:09,961 --> 01:01:12,298 All right, I'll tell the janitor. 763 01:01:12,465 --> 01:01:13,592 Message from the front, sir. 764 01:01:13,634 --> 01:01:17,223 Oh, I'm sick of messages from the front. Don't we ever get a message from the side? 765 01:01:18,682 --> 01:01:20,060 What is it? 766 01:01:20,101 --> 01:01:22,438 General Smith reports a gas attack. He wants to know what to do. 767 01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:25,693 Tell him to take a teaspoon full of bicarbonate soda and a half a glass of water. 768 01:01:25,735 --> 01:01:27,237 Yes, sir. 769 01:01:29,991 --> 01:01:31,619 - Any answer to that message? - No, sir. 770 01:01:31,661 --> 01:01:33,956 Well, in that case, don't send it. 771 01:01:43,721 --> 01:01:45,974 Gentlemen, this is the last straw. 772 01:01:46,015 --> 01:01:48,310 - Where's my Stradivarius? - Here, sir! 773 01:01:48,394 --> 01:01:51,482 I'll show 'em they can't fiddle around with old Firefly. 774 01:01:56,489 --> 01:01:59,578 - Look at 'em run. Now they know they've been in a war. - Your Excellency! 775 01:01:59,619 --> 01:02:02,874 - They're fleeing like rats! - But sir, I've got to tell you... 776 01:02:02,915 --> 01:02:05,211 Remind me to give myself the Firefly medal for this. 777 01:02:05,253 --> 01:02:07,340 Your Excellency, you're shooting your own men. 778 01:02:07,381 --> 01:02:10,427 - What? - You're shooting your own men! 779 01:02:10,761 --> 01:02:14,558 Here's five dollars. Keep it under your hat. Never mind. I'll keep it under my hat. 780 01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:17,313 Now we've got to have more men or we're lost! 781 01:02:17,355 --> 01:02:21,361 Don't be alarmed, I've got a man combing the countryside for volunteers. 782 01:02:27,244 --> 01:02:30,999 Your Excellency, the army's morale is crumbling. The men are breaking ranks. 783 01:02:31,041 --> 01:02:34,171 - Where's the Secretary of War? - That's it! Where is the Secretary of War? 784 01:02:34,213 --> 01:02:35,549 The soldiers are waiting for his orders. 785 01:02:35,590 --> 01:02:38,469 His Excellency, the Secretary of War. 786 01:02:43,811 --> 01:02:45,939 Awfully decent of you to drop in today. 787 01:02:45,981 --> 01:02:48,151 You realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? 788 01:02:48,192 --> 01:02:50,279 - What do you intend to do about it? - I've done it already. 789 01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,532 - You've done what? - I've changed to the other side. 790 01:02:52,575 --> 01:02:55,202 So you're on the other side, eh? Well, what are you doing over here? 791 01:02:55,245 --> 01:02:57,748 Well, the food is better over here. 792 01:03:02,547 --> 01:03:04,760 Chicolini, I need you badly right now. 793 01:03:04,801 --> 01:03:06,595 What'll you take to come back and work for me again? 794 01:03:06,636 --> 01:03:09,099 - I'll take a vacation. - Good, you're hired. 795 01:03:09,141 --> 01:03:12,270 Now, go out in that battlefield and lead those men to victory. 796 01:03:12,312 --> 01:03:14,440 Go on, they're waiting for you. 797 01:03:15,066 --> 01:03:18,237 I wouldn't go out there unless I was in one of those big iron things 798 01:03:18,279 --> 01:03:20,074 that go up and down like this. What do you call those things? 799 01:03:20,115 --> 01:03:22,077 - Tanks. - You're welcome. 800 01:03:23,579 --> 01:03:27,794 Your Excellency, you must come here at once. There's danger here. 801 01:03:27,835 --> 01:03:30,464 Why don't come over here? There's no danger here. 802 01:03:41,690 --> 01:03:45,654 - Shh! - Rufus! 803 01:03:47,407 --> 01:03:49,576 Oh! 804 01:03:51,413 --> 01:03:54,375 Wait a minute, I want to find out something. 805 01:03:58,047 --> 01:04:00,468 Just as I thought, the coast is clear. 806 01:04:01,553 --> 01:04:03,806 Chicolini, to your post! 807 01:04:04,015 --> 01:04:07,562 Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor which is probably more than she ever did. 808 01:04:07,604 --> 01:04:09,273 Your Excellency! 809 01:04:09,857 --> 01:04:12,194 There goes my gun. Run out and get that like a good girl. 810 01:04:12,235 --> 01:04:13,154 Oh, I'm afraid! 811 01:04:13,196 --> 01:04:16,116 We can't last much longer. Our ammunition supplies are very low! 812 01:04:16,158 --> 01:04:18,286 Man the boats, Lieutenant! I'll get help! 813 01:04:25,214 --> 01:04:27,342 Calling all nations! Calling all nations! 814 01:04:27,383 --> 01:04:29,053 This is Rufus T... 815 01:04:30,304 --> 01:04:33,684 This is Rufus T. Firefly coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy. 816 01:04:33,726 --> 01:04:35,270 We're in a mess, folks! We're in a mess! 817 01:04:35,312 --> 01:04:37,899 Rush to Freedonia. Three men and one woman are trapped in a building. 818 01:04:37,941 --> 01:04:41,488 Send help at once. If you can't send help, send two more women. 819 01:04:42,697 --> 01:04:44,660 Make it three more women. 820 01:04:45,369 --> 01:04:48,541 Your Excellency, we can't hold out much longer! We must have help! 821 01:04:54,424 --> 01:04:57,887 One of us has got to break through the lines and get word to general Cooper and his men. 822 01:04:59,432 --> 01:05:00,726 Quiet back there! 823 01:05:00,767 --> 01:05:04,315 Which one of us is gonna have the rare privilege of sacrificing his life for his country? 824 01:05:04,356 --> 01:05:07,235 - We draw lots. - Wait! I got it. 825 01:05:07,277 --> 01:05:10,114 Rrringspot, vonza, twoza, zig-zag-zav, popti, vinaga. 826 01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:14,370 Harem, scarem, merchan, tarem, teir, tore... 827 01:05:14,412 --> 01:05:17,917 I did it wrong. Wait, wait, I start here. 828 01:05:17,959 --> 01:05:20,631 Rrringspot, vonza, twoza, zig-zag-zav, popti, vinaga. 829 01:05:20,672 --> 01:05:23,384 Harem, scarem, merchan, tarem, teir, tore... 830 01:05:23,426 --> 01:05:26,305 That's no good too. Oh, I got it! 831 01:05:26,347 --> 01:05:28,016 Rrringspot, buck! 832 01:05:28,058 --> 01:05:31,146 You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines! 833 01:05:31,188 --> 01:05:34,234 And remember, while you're out there risking life and limb through shot and shell, 834 01:05:34,275 --> 01:05:36,863 we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are. 835 01:05:36,905 --> 01:05:39,617 Good-bye, Mont Blanc, good-bye. 836 01:05:39,784 --> 01:05:42,914 - For Freedonia! - For Freedonia! - For Freedonia! 837 01:05:46,418 --> 01:05:50,341 Gloria! Gloria! Where did they get you? 838 01:05:51,218 --> 01:05:53,680 Hey, careful with the water! It's the only water we got. 839 01:05:53,721 --> 01:05:56,100 Well, it's the only woman we got. 840 01:06:02,401 --> 01:06:04,530 We're surrounded! They're attacking from the rear! 841 01:06:04,572 --> 01:06:06,908 - They're coming this way! - We'll barricade the door! 842 01:06:16,923 --> 01:06:19,302 This is Firefly talking! Send help at once! 843 01:06:19,343 --> 01:06:21,346 Help is on the way! 844 01:06:21,388 --> 01:06:24,017 Carry on, men! Help is on the way! 845 01:06:48,096 --> 01:06:52,060 They got me. They got me. Water! 846 01:06:56,775 --> 01:06:58,402 Water! 847 01:07:03,827 --> 01:07:05,955 Get me outta this! Get me outta this! 848 01:07:08,251 --> 01:07:11,297 The last time this happened to me I was crawling under a bed. 849 01:07:11,797 --> 01:07:13,967 Oh, if help would only come! 850 01:07:14,844 --> 01:07:16,972 Your Excellency? 851 01:07:26,945 --> 01:07:29,073 Any mail for me while I was gone? 852 01:07:32,037 --> 01:07:33,622 Get away from me! 853 01:07:35,583 --> 01:07:38,253 Oh! Oh! 854 01:07:45,306 --> 01:07:46,725 Hey, Trentino! 855 01:07:46,767 --> 01:07:49,229 Trentino, eh? That's game. 856 01:07:51,774 --> 01:07:54,569 - Trentino! - Trentino, eh? 857 01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:56,657 Call me an upstart, eh? 858 01:07:56,699 --> 01:07:58,868 I surrender! I surrender! 859 01:07:58,910 --> 01:08:01,539 I'm sorry, you'll have to wait 'til the fruit runs out. 860 01:08:01,580 --> 01:08:03,709 Victory is ours! 861 01:08:03,750 --> 01:08:07,172 Hail, hail Freedonia 862 01:08:07,214 --> 01:08:12,472 Land of the brave...