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Subtitles corrected resynced ♪♪by
AsifAkheirESL@teachers.org
Original GOPI SAHI
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♪ (Accen-tuate the positive)
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♪ (E-lim-inate the negative)
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♪ (And latch on!)
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♪ You gotta accen-tuate the positive,
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♪ E-lim-inate the negative,
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♪ And latch on-to the affirmative
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♪ Don't mess with mister in-between!
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♪ You gotta spread joy up to the maximum,
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♪ Bring gloom down to the minimum,
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♪ An have faith ( amen! )
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♪ Or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene!
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♪ To illustrate
this last remark
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♪ Jonah in the whale!
Noah in the arc!
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♪ And what did they do?
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♪ What did they do,
Just when everything looked so dark?
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♪ (What did they do,
What did they do? )
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♪ Man! they said
You better accen-tuate the positive,
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♪ E-lim-inate the negative,
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♪ And latch on-to the affirmative
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♪ Don't mess with mister in-between!
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♪ No, don't mess with mister in-between!
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Calvin, where do you get these?
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They're so funny.
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Just remember
don't mention the communists.
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Calvin's a great guy,
but he's a little--you know.
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-Nutty.
-What's his wife like?
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You know...housewife.
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Likes to cook, pregnant.
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Normal, then.
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I wouldn't go that far.
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-Helen!
-Oh, hi, Betty. Hi, Dave.
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Just look at you.
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Any day now.
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Say hi to my sister
Ruth and her husband.
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Tell me
if you've heard this one.
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A duck walks into a drugstore.
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He says,
"I'd like some lip gloss."
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The clerk says, "Certainly, sir.
Will this be cash or check?"
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The duck says,
"Put it on my bill."
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Oh, brother.
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He was the golden boy
professor at Cal Tech...
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but then he started
inventing things.
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He suddenly became very rich.
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And that was it.
He quit teaching.
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-How's that?
-Just what the doctor ordered.
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Calvin spends
all of his time out there...
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tinkering around
in the workshop.
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If you ask me,
it's all very strange.
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Same is true of batteries.
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I could take
a simple yacht battery...
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and rig it
to last a decade, easily.
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Say, Helen,
what does Calvin think...
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about this trouble down in Cuba?
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Oh, for heaven's sakes,
please don't bring that up.
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I'd say my baseball card
collection is as complete...
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as any one I've ever seen.
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Calvin! Kennedy is going
toe-to-toe with Khruschev...
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on television right now.
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Ooh, boy.
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On the island of Cuba.
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Unmistakable evidence
has established the fact...
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that a series
of offensive missile sites...
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is now in preparation
on that imprisoned island.
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Tower, this is Wolf One. I got
five miles to the overhead.
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Wolf One, Tower.
Report the numbers.
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You're number one
for the overhead.
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Tower, this is Wolf One.
I got a problem here.
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State your problem, Wolf One.
Are you declaring an emergency?
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Stand by, One.
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Additional sites
appear to be designed...
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for intermediate-range
ballistic missiles...
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and thus capable of striking
most of the major cities...
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in the western hemisphere.
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Folks.
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Given this extraordinary
turn of events...
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I think it's prudent
we cut this evening short.
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I'm sure this Cuban thing
will resolve itself...
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but in the meantime,
I suggest we take...
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a prayerful
watch and wait stance.
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OK, folks, let's go.
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-My coat.
-Oh, here you go.
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I'll call you, then.
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What did I tell you?
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Well, I'm certainly not gonna
let this pot roast go to waste.
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Oh, Calvin, would you
put that seat cushion...
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00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,300
back on the lawn chair, honey?
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Shouldn't we at least
turn off the phonograph?
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It shuts off automatically.
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Oh. Did you make it to do that?
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They all do.
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I never know anymore.
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I bet that's a fighter jet
on its way to Key West.
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Good luck, amigo.
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An emergency has been declared.
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I repeat,
an emergency has been declared.
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You hear that?
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I'll come back for the radio.
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I wish you would have
at least let me do the dishes.
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It's not gonna be that easy...
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to get all that dried-on food
off my nice plates.
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I just hope those plates are not
radioactive by tomorrow.
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Cheese
is particularly troublesome.
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I've got secondaries
of an engine fire.
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I'm gonna need to find
a clear area to eject.
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Roger, Wolf One.
Can you make it to the ocean?
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Roger that, Tower.
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I'm marking the one-eight-zero
radio for five...
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and ejecting, Tower.
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Roger, Wolf One.
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How long will we have
to stay down here?
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For this thing to blow over
could take days.
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Days?
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What if I go into labor?
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That could happen any time now.
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I've read up on it.
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If I have to,
I'll deliver the baby myself.
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Home, sweet home.
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To you, maybe.
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Are you alright?
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I think so.
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It's happened!
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Look at that heat!
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All my surface indicators...
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knocked out! Oh, Lord!
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It's happened!
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What was that noise?
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- The locks.
- The locks?
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To keep us from trying to leave.
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There's a radiation half-life
after an atomic blast.
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-It lasts thirty-five years.- Thirty-five years?
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Then after that,
it's safe to go up.
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According to Cal Tech...
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this Webber guy
was a bona fide genius...
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00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:17,598
but a borderline nut case.
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He and Mrs. Nut Case...
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00:08:18,801 --> 00:08:20,497
must have been out here
when the plane hit.
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Unless we get a postcard or
something, that'd be my guess.
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What about relatives?
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They're all back east.
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Neighbors said the guy
spent day and night out here.
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She'd bring him sandwiches
and hot Dr. Pepper.
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He drank it hot?
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Good God.
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Hi, hon.
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Feeling better?
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We have to be strong.
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If not for ourselves...
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00:09:09,001 --> 00:09:10,499
for the child.
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All our friends.
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Burnt to a crisp.
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I'm not hungry.
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Hot Dr. Pepper--your favorite.
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No, Calvin. Your favorite.
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Really?
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Chilly? You shouldn't be.
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Temperature's
a nice seventy-three degrees.
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Maybe I've just got the creeps.
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How could you?
This is just like home.
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No. No, Calvin.
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This is different.
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Believe me.
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Would you like a tranquilizer?
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You've got tranquilizers?
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I told you I have everything.
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What?
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Oh, hon.
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Just breathe.
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I'll get my stuff.
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♪ Oh, it's a good day
for singing a song
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00:10:17,099 --> 00:10:20,000
♪ And it's a good day
for moving along
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♪ Yes, it's a good day,
how can anything go wrong?
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♪ Good day from morning till night
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♪ Yes it's a good day
for shining your shoes
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♪ And it's a good day
for losing your blues
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♪ Everything to gain
and nothing to lose
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♪ 'Cause it's a good day
from morning till night
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♪ I said to the sun
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♪ "Good morning sun,
rise and shine...
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Is there a problem?
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No, Calvin. Babies cry.
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I've noticed.
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What shall we call him?
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I don't know.
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Well, I was thinking,
in light of the situation...
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we should call him Adam.
187
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That's not sacrilegious, is it?
188
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No. I think it's just right.
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And I was wondering if...if...
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Whatever you want, Helen.
191
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I want a bedroom ceiling.
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You got it.
193
00:11:17,299 --> 00:11:20,099
♪ And you know you got the right of way
194
00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:23,800
♪ 'Cause it's a good day
for paying your bills
195
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:27,300
♪ And it's a good day
for curing your ills
196
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,650
♪ So take a deep breath
and throw away all your pills
197
00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:32,899
♪ 'Cause it's a good day
from morning till night
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00:11:32,999 --> 00:11:34,998
See, I flick this switch...
199
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:39,100
and the image is projected
onto a mirror...
200
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,198
and the picture
comes out here...
201
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:42,598
and it's perfect.
202
00:11:51,999 --> 00:11:54,799
Well, almost perfect.
203
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,299
You know something?
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00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:59,400
People will never get tired
of watching these.
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00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:05,000
♪ Lately I find myself
206
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:09,200
♪out gazing at stars
207
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,800
Lord, bless this food...
208
00:12:11,801 --> 00:12:13,099
this family...
209
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,199
and make us ever mindful...
210
00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:17,199
of the needs of others. Amen.
211
00:12:17,699 --> 00:12:18,799
Amen.
212
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,199
Let's eat.
213
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,199
♪ Kiss me once again
214
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:30,199
♪ (It's been a long long time)
215
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,599
♪ I haven't felt like this
216
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,199
♪ Since can't remember when
217
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,699
Calvin?
218
00:12:39,799 --> 00:12:41,099
Out here, hon.
219
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,899
Oh, there you are.
220
00:12:44,099 --> 00:12:46,098
Looked all over for you.
221
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,199
What are you doing back here?
222
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,598
I was just examining
this rear hatchway.
223
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,800
Why?
224
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,199
It's pretty clear, that
when the bomb went off...
225
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,700
the front entrance caved in,
so, you know...
226
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:02,398
we'll have to return
to the surface...
227
00:13:02,499 --> 00:13:05,000
using this back entrance,
which is very nice...
228
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,999
because it has
the service elevator.
229
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,999
Unless it's caved in, too.
230
00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,899
Well, yes.
231
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,199
You wanted to see me?
232
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,000
Yes. You ready, Adam?
233
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,400
Watch this.
234
00:13:17,899 --> 00:13:19,898
He can stand up all by himself.
235
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,198
Show Daddy.
236
00:13:21,199 --> 00:13:22,799
All by himself.
237
00:13:22,799 --> 00:13:24,198
That's my guy.
238
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,399
Stand up.
239
00:13:25,399 --> 00:13:26,999
My son.
240
00:13:27,899 --> 00:13:29,598
Up, Adam...
241
00:13:29,599 --> 00:13:31,099
to the moon.
242
00:13:47,099 --> 00:13:50,398
Hey, boss,
what do you make of this?
243
00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:51,598
Damn if I know.
244
00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:52,999
Bet it's some kind
of septic tank.
245
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,999
I never seen a septic tank
that looked like that.
246
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,199
Well, don't fool with it.
247
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,599
If it is a septic tank, I sure
as hell don't want to open it.
248
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,600
We'll just lay
the foundation over it.
249
00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:10,399
"In won-der-land."
250
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:13,199
I'd like to see the public
school system match that.
251
00:14:13,199 --> 00:14:15,198
I don't care how terrific it is.
252
00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:17,497
But, honey, don't you think
he's a little young for school?
253
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,599
People have no idea what
the human mind is capable of.
254
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,800
Look, Daddy.
255
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,600
Alice went down the hole...
256
00:14:23,699 --> 00:14:25,698
just like us.
257
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,400
Will I ever get to go up on top?
258
00:14:28,498 --> 00:14:30,299
Yes. You certainly will.
259
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,299
And you'll find a nice girl...
260
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:34,900
rebuild America
just the way it used to be.
261
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,700
Oh, Calvin, I'm not sure
we should be making promises...
262
00:14:37,701 --> 00:14:38,999
that perhaps can't be kept.
263
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,900
I'm convinced
there'll be other survivors.
264
00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:44,598
In fact, I'm guessing there's
life on the surface even now.
265
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,200
Not life worth living,
perhaps...
266
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,800
but believe me...
267
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,799
something is moving around
up there.
268
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:56,599
♪ Two girls for every boy
269
00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,599
♪ I've got a '34 Wagon
and we call it a woody
270
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,599
♪ (Surf City here we come)
271
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,099
♪ You know it's not very cherry...
272
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,599
I'm gonna need two more
banana splits and a Cherry Coke.
273
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,499
You bet, Mom. Comin' up.
274
00:15:09,498 --> 00:15:12,099
Oh, by the way, Mom,
thanks for the job.
275
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,200
Buck fifteen an hour.
276
00:15:18,299 --> 00:15:20,199
Your husband is crazy.
277
00:15:21,199 --> 00:15:23,799
Alright. What's the big news?
278
00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:26,898
Oh, you're a riot.
279
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:30,700
Oh, what a riot you are!
280
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,799
Watch this.
281
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,000
You're funny!
282
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:37,900
You're a real riot.
283
00:15:37,899 --> 00:15:39,898
They're comin' now
to put you on the stage.
284
00:15:40,099 --> 00:15:42,098
There's been complaints
about me on the bus.
285
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:45,400
He's sending me
to the company psychiatrist.
286
00:15:45,399 --> 00:15:46,999
Psychiatrist?
287
00:15:46,999 --> 00:15:50,099
Yeah, a psychiatrist,
and that means I'm crazy.
288
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,799
Oh, don't be silly, Ralph.
289
00:15:51,799 --> 00:15:55,198
Sending you to a psychiatrist
doesn't mean you're crazy.
290
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,199
Stick it. That's right.
291
00:15:57,399 --> 00:15:58,699
Hook off the jab.
292
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,000
That's right.
293
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,799
Excuse me, boys, but I believe
it's my turn now.
294
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:11,299
♪ Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
295
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:18,699
♪ See the pyramids along the Nile
296
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:19,900
Four, five.
297
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:24,899
♪ Just remember darling all the while
298
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,399
♪ Five, six. And six, spin.
299
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,899
♪ You belong to me
300
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,399
May I cut in?
301
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:37,999
You certainly may.
302
00:16:38,099 --> 00:16:39,599
Thank you, son.
303
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:46,899
♪ Send me photographs and souvenirs
304
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:53,899
♪ Just remember when a dream appears
305
00:16:54,600 --> 00:17:01,199
♪ You belong to me
306
00:17:16,199 --> 00:17:18,198
I miss those nice
flower-power kids.
307
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:19,699
How 'bout you?
308
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:28,500
♪ I've heard people say
that too much of anything
309
00:17:29,501 --> 00:17:31,798
What the hell
kind of music is that?
310
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,700
Oh, man!
311
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,128
I'm not sure I like that.
312
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,290
♪ As many times as we've loved
313
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,500
♪ We've shared love and made love
314
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,500
♪ It's just not enough,
315
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,000
♪ Oh baby.
316
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:58,500
♪ My darling, I can't get
enough of your love, baby
317
00:18:00,799 --> 00:18:03,299
These are stock certificates.
318
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:06,298
Your Mom and I bought them,
for you.
319
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,600
Of course,
they're worthless now...
320
00:18:08,601 --> 00:18:11,500
but at one time
they were quite valuable.
321
00:18:12,399 --> 00:18:15,299
They're pretty.
Could I have them?
322
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,900
Sure.
323
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:21,199
Now let's move on
to our French exam.
324
00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:24,298
Latin exam, Dad. It's Tuesday.
325
00:18:26,199 --> 00:18:28,799
Gosh, it is Tuesday.
326
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,899
Time flies, doesn't it?
327
00:18:30,999 --> 00:18:32,500
Tempus fugit.
328
00:18:32,999 --> 00:18:34,500
Que les bons temps rouler. (sic)
329
00:18:34,799 --> 00:18:36,500
Gerade aus vom links.
330
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:40,200
Sagen Sie bitte dafür dass die
Gepack so fertig gehandelt werden.
331
00:18:40,299 --> 00:18:42,500
Haben Sie etwas anders in Leder?
332
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:48,199
You have a wonderful
sense of humor, son, I must say.
333
00:18:49,899 --> 00:18:52,999
The acorn does not fall
very far from the tree.
334
00:18:57,699 --> 00:18:59,498
Gotcha, I gotcha.
335
00:19:07,799 --> 00:19:08,898
This is wonderful.
336
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:12,000
That's my baseball card
collection.
337
00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:13,299
It's yours now.
338
00:19:15,199 --> 00:19:16,399
What's baseball?
339
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,600
It's a game, son.
340
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:20,498
I can explain it pretty easily.
341
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,999
You see, there's a pitcher.
342
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,399
Oh, like a painting?
343
00:19:25,399 --> 00:19:27,999
No. A pit-cher.
344
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,400
Like one of Mom's?
345
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,298
No. There's a man
who throws the ball...
346
00:19:32,599 --> 00:19:34,498
to a man who has a bat.
347
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,500
Oh, the nocturnal flying mammal.
348
00:19:36,501 --> 00:19:37,501
No.
349
00:20:02,199 --> 00:20:03,498
I'm sellin' this place.
350
00:20:03,498 --> 00:20:05,798
I want out of this hellhole.
351
00:20:09,299 --> 00:20:11,099
Could I, uh...
352
00:20:11,199 --> 00:20:14,598
If you sell, uh...
353
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,699
Me, could I, uh...
354
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:18,400
Buy it from me?
355
00:20:18,498 --> 00:20:19,999
Yeah! Yeah, that's it!
356
00:20:20,099 --> 00:20:22,999
I'll give it to you.
No money down.
357
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,199
Cool!
358
00:20:24,999 --> 00:20:27,899
This neighborhood's
gone to hell anyway.
359
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,099
At last...
360
00:20:30,099 --> 00:20:32,999
I am master of all I survey!
361
00:20:36,999 --> 00:20:38,098
No, no. Listen...
362
00:20:38,999 --> 00:20:41,599
I'm only gonna explain
this one more time.
363
00:20:41,599 --> 00:20:44,399
The runner on second
goes to third.
364
00:20:44,399 --> 00:20:46,398
It's--He's out there.
365
00:20:46,399 --> 00:20:47,599
Why?
366
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,899
Because he's forced out.
It's--it's a force.
367
00:20:51,899 --> 00:20:53,099
Then why go there?
368
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:56,200
Because...he must.
369
00:20:57,099 --> 00:20:58,999
- Calvin...
- Coming.
370
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,501
Yes, dear?
371
00:21:03,501 --> 00:21:05,498
You get the presents,
I'll get the lights.
372
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:06,999
You bet.
373
00:21:08,599 --> 00:21:13,298
♪ Happy birthday to you
374
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:17,100
♪ And many more
375
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,000
Thanks, Mom. Thank you, Dad.
376
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,999
-Blow out the candles.
-Make a wish.
377
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:32,199
Here.
378
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,499
Oh, boy! A jacket!
379
00:21:44,501 --> 00:21:46,500
Your mom made that
all by herself.
380
00:21:46,699 --> 00:21:47,999
No kidding?
381
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,399
Who else could have done it?
382
00:21:51,498 --> 00:21:53,099
I made these.
383
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,099
Holy cow.
384
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,099
What the heck are these?
385
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,799
It's your roller skates. Yup.
386
00:22:07,799 --> 00:22:09,599
I redesigned them.
387
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,599
These are really swell.
I mean swell.
388
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,599
What did you wish for, son?
389
00:22:14,699 --> 00:22:15,798
If he tells,
it won't come true.
390
00:22:15,899 --> 00:22:18,898
Oh, that's a bunch of baloney.
My family never believed that.
391
00:22:18,899 --> 00:22:21,699
Well, we did in my family.
392
00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:23,699
I wished that I could
meet a girl.
393
00:22:25,299 --> 00:22:27,298
I hope a nice one?
394
00:22:27,299 --> 00:22:28,400
Yes, ma'am.
395
00:22:28,499 --> 00:22:30,699
One that doesn't
glow in the dark, I hope.
396
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:33,300
Calvin Webber,
what a thing to say.
397
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,399
Well, we'll be going up
in two years.
398
00:22:35,399 --> 00:22:36,798
We'll know then.
399
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:38,100
I'm very hopeful.
400
00:22:39,299 --> 00:22:40,599
Me, too.
401
00:22:40,599 --> 00:22:41,899
Elbows, son.
402
00:22:41,899 --> 00:22:44,699
I'm sorry, Mom. What the heck
am I thinking tonight?
403
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:46,699
You never know.
You might someday dine...
404
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:48,399
at the White House
with the President.
405
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,900
If we still have one.
406
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:54,199
You know, when we do go up...
407
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,599
I'm gonna miss this place.
408
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,000
How about you, hon?
409
00:23:05,999 --> 00:23:07,998
Would you please excuse me?
410
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:10,799
No, no, don't--don't get up.
411
00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:27,099
[ Aaaaahh! ]
412
00:24:13,099 --> 00:24:14,798
Should we say a prayer first?
413
00:24:14,799 --> 00:24:16,399
Just open the door.
414
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,199
Long time.
415
00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:39,399
Well, it's dirty, but...
416
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,800
it seems to be OK.
417
00:24:48,700 --> 00:24:50,699
I know you're happy.
418
00:24:53,799 --> 00:24:55,798
Do we just go on up?
419
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,501
No, son.
420
00:24:58,501 --> 00:25:01,899
Now is the time we must
be at our most cautious.
421
00:25:01,999 --> 00:25:03,098
We wait for night.
422
00:25:03,199 --> 00:25:04,598
Oh, shit!
423
00:25:05,899 --> 00:25:07,500
Helen Thomas Webber...
424
00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:10,798
maybe we have been down here
a little too long.
425
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,599
Pardon her French, son.
426
00:25:13,699 --> 00:25:15,698
"Shit" is French?
427
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,699
Well, it's archaic French.
428
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:21,699
It's a 16th century
colloquialism...
429
00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:23,501
meaning roughly "Good."
430
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,599
Your father's right.
431
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,700
Well...shit!
432
00:25:43,899 --> 00:25:46,399
All of these things...
433
00:25:46,498 --> 00:25:48,198
Alcoholics Anonymous...
434
00:25:48,199 --> 00:25:50,198
Cocaine Anonymous...
435
00:25:50,399 --> 00:25:52,098
Heroin Anonymous--
436
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,199
There's a Heroin Anonymous?
437
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,498
Will you please...
shut up!
438
00:25:57,499 --> 00:25:58,899
Sorry. Sorry.
439
00:25:58,899 --> 00:26:03,598
All of these things ask you
to believe in a power...
440
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,599
greater than yourself.
441
00:26:05,699 --> 00:26:10,199
Well, I have lifted my eyes
skyward a time or two...
442
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,199
and I certainly have
not seen anything...
443
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,699
coming from up there
except a goddamn airplane...
444
00:26:16,498 --> 00:26:18,499
which I can't afford to get on.
445
00:26:21,399 --> 00:26:23,899
Earthquake! Another earthquake!
446
00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:27,300
Let her come. Let her come.
Let's get this over with!
447
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,700
Oh, God.
448
00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:46,200
Oh, my God.
449
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,199
Oh, God, save me.
450
00:26:50,899 --> 00:26:53,498
For I have seen the light!
451
00:27:03,299 --> 00:27:04,599
I come...
452
00:27:05,899 --> 00:27:07,399
in peace.
453
00:27:24,799 --> 00:27:28,198
Leave my elevator alone.
454
00:27:42,199 --> 00:27:44,700
♪ Psycho assassins smashing your membrane
455
00:27:44,709 --> 00:27:48,000
♪ Lunatics in the grass, feeding it to your vein!
456
00:27:49,299 --> 00:27:52,500
What happened to my backyard?
457
00:27:52,899 --> 00:27:56,500
♪ Why you never face me? Don't foil the plan!
458
00:27:56,599 --> 00:27:58,500
♪ Head-to-head combat, I'm on that mission...
459
00:27:58,899 --> 00:28:01,500
♪...Insane, crazy in the head it's lead!
460
00:28:01,899 --> 00:28:05,500
♪ I'm loco, 'til I'm dead, enough said!
461
00:28:05,599 --> 00:28:07,500
♪ Actions allowing the words to barrage in
462
00:28:07,899 --> 00:28:10,500
♪ From having all the way down, to the depths of Hell
463
00:28:10,599 --> 00:28:12,400
♪ You hear me? Lunatic in the grass, lost
464
00:28:12,499 --> 00:28:14,600
♪ You a psycho, like my nigga Jack Frost?
465
00:28:15,099 --> 00:28:19,200
♪ Looney, lunatic turned sick
Psycho, crazy in the head, I go
466
00:28:19,209 --> 00:28:21,600
♪ Can't keep my head straight
from the laws I break
467
00:28:21,699 --> 00:28:24,200
♪ You too, y'all twistin' up my mind state!
468
00:28:27,699 --> 00:28:30,500
♪ For those who really don't understand
Why we, going insane
469
00:28:30,599 --> 00:28:32,199
Got a light, honey?
470
00:28:33,199 --> 00:28:35,099
A light? Yes.
471
00:28:35,199 --> 00:28:36,699
I do have a light.
472
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,100
Good. Thank you.
473
00:28:42,499 --> 00:28:45,400
So...you survived the blast.
474
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,200
The blast?
475
00:28:47,201 --> 00:28:49,497
Honey, I've survived
a host of things.
476
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,200
Like the song says,
the country boy can survive.
477
00:28:52,300 --> 00:28:54,200
Did you say
you were a country boy?
478
00:28:54,299 --> 00:28:55,998
Cute little old man...
479
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:58,099
if you want a boy,
I can be a boy...
480
00:28:58,299 --> 00:29:00,199
and if you want a girl,
I can be a girl.
481
00:29:00,199 --> 00:29:01,598
Hell, I can be
whatever you want me to be.
482
00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:02,799
Really?
483
00:29:02,799 --> 00:29:04,299
Uh-huh, and it's all yours...
484
00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:06,299
for the remarkably low price
of two hundred dollars.
485
00:29:06,399 --> 00:29:07,899
And if you act now...
486
00:29:07,999 --> 00:29:11,899
I may even throw in
some free lawn furniture.
487
00:29:11,999 --> 00:29:14,298
No. Thanks.
488
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:16,299
Thank you. I have to go.
489
00:29:16,498 --> 00:29:17,598
Go on.
490
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,199
Get out of here, you old drunk!
491
00:29:28,799 --> 00:29:29,898
Surprise!
492
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:40,099
[ Aargh! ]
493
00:29:42,599 --> 00:29:44,399
I'm gonna give it to you
straight.
494
00:29:44,399 --> 00:29:46,398
There's no point
beating around the bush.
495
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:47,800
There were survivors.
496
00:29:48,399 --> 00:29:53,298
Apparently the fallout has
created a subspecies--mutants.
497
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,098
Mutants!
498
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,600
Not a pretty sight.
499
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,599
Some eat out of garbage cans.
500
00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:02,699
Others--cover your ears,
son, and hum.
501
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,400
I mean that literally.
Right now.
502
00:30:07,199 --> 00:30:10,999
Others...are multi-sexual.
503
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,299
It seems they can be both...
504
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:16,000
masculine and feminine
simultaneously.
505
00:30:16,001 --> 00:30:17,100
- No?
- Yes!
506
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,000
-I don't believe it!
-Believe it.
507
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:21,099
He tried to sell me his body,
Helen.
508
00:30:22,099 --> 00:30:24,398
They offer lawn furniture
as a come-on.
509
00:30:28,399 --> 00:30:29,699
Alright.
510
00:30:29,699 --> 00:30:31,398
They have done
a lot of rebuilding...
511
00:30:31,399 --> 00:30:34,098
though society,
at least as we know it...
512
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:37,000
has totally collapsed.
People throw up in the streets.
513
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,300
Others point guns.
514
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,099
There's something terribly wrong
with the automobiles...
515
00:30:41,099 --> 00:30:43,098
and I can't tell you the rest.
516
00:30:43,099 --> 00:30:44,798
I just can't. Maybe someday.
517
00:30:46,299 --> 00:30:48,598
-What do we do now?
-We stay down here!
518
00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:50,199
-We do?
-Yes!
519
00:30:50,199 --> 00:30:51,298
We'll make do.
520
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,399
We have clothes,
running water from a well.
521
00:30:53,498 --> 00:30:55,898
I am convinced these mutants
will kill each other off--
522
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,501
No, Calvin, we won't make do!
523
00:30:58,501 --> 00:31:01,500
Not me, not Adam !
We're going up!
524
00:31:01,599 --> 00:31:03,898
I don't care how horrible it is!
We deserve it!
525
00:31:03,899 --> 00:31:05,298
I am the head of this household!
526
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,399
I want him to see the sky!
527
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:08,598
We will!
528
00:31:08,699 --> 00:31:10,299
The ocean! A mountain!
529
00:31:10,399 --> 00:31:11,899
Do as I say!
530
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,000
Oh, Adam ! Oh, my goodness!
531
00:31:25,099 --> 00:31:26,299
Let's get him to the bedroom !
532
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,799
He seems to be doing
alright now.
533
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,600
I don't know
if he had a heart attack...
534
00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:34,998
or just
a horrifying experience...
535
00:31:35,099 --> 00:31:38,698
but we need supplies,
and I've got to stay with him.
536
00:31:38,799 --> 00:31:39,898
I'll go up.
537
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:42,400
I'm afraid you must.
538
00:31:42,499 --> 00:31:44,100
I'll be alright.
539
00:31:44,199 --> 00:31:46,198
My brave boy.
540
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:50,399
Just act normal.
541
00:31:50,399 --> 00:31:52,899
If anyone asks, simply say...
542
00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:55,800
"I'm from out of town.
I'm here on business."
543
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,000
Write that down.
544
00:31:58,299 --> 00:32:00,698
Now, I'm going to give you
a shopping list and some money.
545
00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:03,300
We'll need just enough to get
through the next year or two.
546
00:32:03,300 --> 00:32:04,800
You'll find most
of these items...
547
00:32:04,801 --> 00:32:07,299
at what used to be called
a grocery store...
548
00:32:07,299 --> 00:32:09,698
or a hardware store.
Write that down.
549
00:32:09,699 --> 00:32:12,299
I don't know how far you'll have
to travel to find supplies...
550
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,200
but if you can't get home
by nightfall...
551
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:16,999
I want you to look for something
called a Holiday lnn.
552
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,800
It's a hotel. Write that down.
553
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:20,899
There might still be one
left standing.
554
00:32:23,899 --> 00:32:25,498
Well, let's get you packed.
555
00:32:25,499 --> 00:32:27,100
Right.
556
00:32:27,199 --> 00:32:29,198
Just hope
this is still good up there.
557
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,200
-Say, Mom?
-Yes, dear?
558
00:32:31,300 --> 00:32:33,100
I was wondering...
559
00:32:33,101 --> 00:32:34,899
while I was up there and all...
560
00:32:34,999 --> 00:32:37,398
I was thinking,
well, you know...
561
00:32:37,499 --> 00:32:39,100
I was wondering
if maybe I could...
562
00:32:40,498 --> 00:32:41,699
meet a girl.
563
00:32:42,700 --> 00:32:45,099
I've been thinking about that
a little.
564
00:32:45,099 --> 00:32:46,899
Just these last fifteen years
or so.
565
00:32:46,999 --> 00:32:50,799
Adam, it would be wonderful
if you could meet a girl...
566
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,498
one who's not a mutant...
567
00:32:52,599 --> 00:32:54,199
and hopefully
comes from Pasadena.
568
00:32:54,299 --> 00:32:57,199
Nothing against valley girls,
but in my day anyhow...
569
00:32:57,199 --> 00:33:01,099
girls from Pasadena always
seemed a little bit nicer.
570
00:33:01,099 --> 00:33:04,999
Oh, and, son, there's also
something called a liquor store.
571
00:33:04,999 --> 00:33:06,199
Write that down.
572
00:33:07,499 --> 00:33:08,599
"Liquor store."
573
00:33:26,499 --> 00:33:27,599
Calvin?
574
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,000
Son.
575
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,400
Adam.
576
00:33:44,099 --> 00:33:45,599
Yes, father?
577
00:33:45,699 --> 00:33:46,899
Don't forget.
578
00:33:46,899 --> 00:33:51,898
Stay out
of the adult book store.
579
00:33:52,799 --> 00:33:54,198
Adult book store.
580
00:33:54,498 --> 00:33:55,699
Why?
581
00:33:56,799 --> 00:33:58,699
Poison gas.
582
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,799
Invisible.
583
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,300
Don't forget.
584
00:34:04,301 --> 00:34:07,199
I promise. Is that all?
585
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:14,499
One more thing.
586
00:34:17,299 --> 00:34:21,199
If you find
a healthy young woman...
587
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,599
bring her on down.
588
00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:28,400
Yes, sir.
589
00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:40,599
Ohmmm...
590
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,499
Are you alright?
591
00:34:54,699 --> 00:34:56,398
O Lord, yes.
592
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,300
Are you the one
who came last night...
593
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,099
all in yellow?
594
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,899
All in yellow?
595
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,300
Oh, that was my father.
596
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:07,200
Oh! Of course. The father.
597
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:09,599
Forgive me.
598
00:35:09,599 --> 00:35:12,598
Can you forgive me
for my wasted life?
599
00:35:12,599 --> 00:35:14,598
Everything has been so awful.
600
00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:17,699
I know. It has been terrible...
601
00:35:17,799 --> 00:35:20,299
but it's not your fault.
602
00:35:20,399 --> 00:35:21,999
And now that
all the decay is over with...
603
00:35:21,999 --> 00:35:23,698
things are going to get better.
604
00:35:23,699 --> 00:35:25,199
You understand?
605
00:35:25,699 --> 00:35:27,799
Yes, yes.
606
00:35:30,199 --> 00:35:31,598
Well, I have to go now.
607
00:35:31,699 --> 00:35:33,698
Of course! Of course you do.
608
00:35:33,799 --> 00:35:35,399
I'll stay here and pray.
609
00:35:35,501 --> 00:35:37,498
Say, that's always a good idea.
610
00:35:39,499 --> 00:35:41,199
How do I leave this place?
611
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,499
The front door is open.
612
00:35:44,799 --> 00:35:46,798
Will you be back?
613
00:35:47,799 --> 00:35:48,999
I promise.
614
00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,999
Ohm ga yaiii...
615
00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:28,400
What?
616
00:36:28,498 --> 00:36:29,598
What is it?
617
00:36:30,501 --> 00:36:31,700
The sky.
618
00:36:32,599 --> 00:36:34,498
The sky? Where?
619
00:36:34,499 --> 00:36:35,700
Up there.
620
00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:38,000
I don't see anything.
621
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,200
Just look!
622
00:36:39,199 --> 00:36:40,498
What is it?
623
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,599
He says he sees something.
624
00:36:47,899 --> 00:36:49,599
- What is it?
- The Sky!
625
00:36:49,599 --> 00:36:51,099
I see it, Mommy!
626
00:36:51,100 --> 00:36:54,600
I have never in my life
seen anything like it before.
627
00:36:55,399 --> 00:36:56,599
Or like you.
628
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,498
What are you lookin' at?
629
00:37:05,498 --> 00:37:08,999
Oh, my lucky stars, a Negro!
630
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,200
Say what?
631
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:11,599
How do you do, ma'am?
632
00:37:11,699 --> 00:37:13,299
I do alright.
633
00:37:14,499 --> 00:37:15,599
Good.
634
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,800
What is it?
635
00:37:20,899 --> 00:37:21,998
What do you see?
636
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,600
We were just looking at the--
637
00:37:24,501 --> 00:37:26,100
-Oh, no!
-What?
638
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,199
Poisonous gas!
Run for your life!
639
00:37:28,299 --> 00:37:31,998
Run! Run for your life!
lnvisible poisonous gas!
640
00:37:37,099 --> 00:37:38,299
You know--
641
00:37:41,299 --> 00:37:42,498
I just want to say...
642
00:37:43,999 --> 00:37:45,398
I think he's going to be fine.
643
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,900
Thank you, Calvin.
644
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,399
Thank you very much.
645
00:37:50,399 --> 00:37:51,899
He's smart.
646
00:37:51,900 --> 00:37:53,299
Yes, dear, I know...
647
00:37:54,699 --> 00:37:56,500
but he's still such a baby.
648
00:37:57,599 --> 00:37:59,399
He's a man.
649
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,200
Oh, he's a baby man.
650
00:38:03,099 --> 00:38:05,699
I tried to give
the driver this...
651
00:38:05,699 --> 00:38:07,199
but he wouldn't take it.
652
00:38:08,999 --> 00:38:10,299
He seems kind of angry.
653
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,099
A lot of people do.
654
00:38:13,100 --> 00:38:15,600
Oh, boy. Here we go.
655
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,000
Hold on, everyone! Hold on!
656
00:38:19,099 --> 00:38:20,399
Wow!
657
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,599
So this is
public transportation.
658
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,799
My father says it becomes
more and more important...
659
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,099
because of pollution,
which is more and more...
660
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:30,099
carbon dioxide and other
hazardous gases in the air.
661
00:38:32,799 --> 00:38:34,599
Do you have a gun, by the way?
662
00:38:37,699 --> 00:38:40,799
Oh. Well, thank you
for not waving it around.
663
00:38:40,899 --> 00:38:42,598
And for not vomiting,
for that matter.
664
00:38:43,799 --> 00:38:46,299
Say, do you know where
I could find a grocery store?
665
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,100
I have to find that.
That and a hardware store...
666
00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,099
a liquor store,
and a standing Holiday lnn.
667
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:56,099
There's a grocery store
up the street.
668
00:38:56,199 --> 00:38:57,298
-Where?
-Up there!
669
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,000
Oh. Thank you. Driver,
please stop the bus immediately!
670
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,300
I wish to get off!
671
00:39:01,900 --> 00:39:03,700
Please stop the bus, sir!
672
00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:11,099
-Paper or plastic?
-Paper, please.
673
00:39:11,199 --> 00:39:12,298
Do you have a club card?
674
00:39:15,699 --> 00:39:17,500
I need a price check
on register four...
675
00:39:17,501 --> 00:39:19,899
Diet Dr. Pepper, six-pack.
676
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:29,699
Don't talk to strangers.
677
00:39:29,699 --> 00:39:33,298
Manager to the front for
check approval, register one.
678
00:39:33,299 --> 00:39:34,498
Can I help you?
679
00:39:34,499 --> 00:39:38,000
Oh, yes. I'd like to get
some all-beef patties.
680
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,200
Fresh or frozen?
681
00:39:40,099 --> 00:39:42,098
Come on. Frozen.
682
00:39:42,399 --> 00:39:43,599
How much are they?
683
00:39:44,699 --> 00:39:47,599
Frozen? Six-thirty a dozen
in a three-pound box.
684
00:39:47,599 --> 00:39:49,598
Twelve into nine hundred
is seventy-five.
685
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,600
That's almost five hundred
dollars just for the hamburger.
686
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,200
My mother only gave me three
thousand dollars for everything.
687
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,199
The yacht batteries,
the pipe tobacco...
688
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,199
the diesel oil, the bleach...
689
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:01,700
the floss,
the birthday candles--
690
00:40:01,701 --> 00:40:04,199
You could get a meat order
that big delivered to your home.
691
00:40:04,299 --> 00:40:05,599
Really?
692
00:40:05,599 --> 00:40:06,899
Sure.
693
00:40:06,899 --> 00:40:08,898
Oh, that's terrific.
694
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:13,899
Except it just occurred to me
that I don't know where home is.
695
00:40:15,501 --> 00:40:17,400
I'm lost.
696
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:18,600
Do you know where I live?
- No.
697
00:40:19,700 --> 00:40:21,000
Will you please excuse me?
698
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,300
Gladly.
699
00:40:23,099 --> 00:40:24,299
Thank you.
700
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,999
Driver, please stop the bus!
701
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,999
-Hello.
-Hi
702
00:41:23,299 --> 00:41:24,698
The name's Adam Webber...
703
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,300
and I see that you buy
baseball cards.
704
00:41:27,299 --> 00:41:29,199
Although these are a lot older
than the ones in the window...
705
00:41:29,300 --> 00:41:31,299
I was hoping that you still
might be interested.
706
00:41:34,300 --> 00:41:36,299
How much you want for this
Mickey Mantle rookie season?
707
00:41:36,399 --> 00:41:39,498
Well, I was hoping
to sell all of the cards.
708
00:41:39,599 --> 00:41:41,898
Really? No kidding?
709
00:41:41,899 --> 00:41:43,399
All I have
are hundred-dollar bills...
710
00:41:43,498 --> 00:41:44,999
and I need something smaller.
711
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,699
Ones, tens, fives.
712
00:41:46,699 --> 00:41:49,199
I see what you mean.
Tell you what.
713
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,700
How about I give you
five hundred in small bills...
714
00:41:52,700 --> 00:41:54,000
for the whole box?
715
00:41:55,599 --> 00:41:56,899
That would be wonderful.
716
00:41:56,899 --> 00:41:58,399
Aw, shit.
717
00:42:00,300 --> 00:42:02,999
I'm working here, Evie-poo.
Don't screw me up.
718
00:42:02,999 --> 00:42:05,500
Yeah, I can see you're working,
alright.
719
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,099
Bon soir, mademoiselle.
720
00:42:09,199 --> 00:42:10,699
Oh, you're French?
721
00:42:11,199 --> 00:42:12,299
No!
722
00:42:12,799 --> 00:42:14,399
I'm from out of town.
723
00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:15,598
I'm here on business.
724
00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:17,698
Well, your business must not be
sports memorabilia...
725
00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:19,899
because this one
Mantle card right here--
726
00:42:19,999 --> 00:42:23,500
worth six thousand dollars
all by its itty-bitty self.
727
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:25,099
Get out of here!
728
00:42:25,099 --> 00:42:26,599
No, you get outta here.
729
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,400
Terrific. You're fired.
730
00:42:29,401 --> 00:42:32,098
-I quit.
-No, no, no. I fired you.
731
00:42:32,100 --> 00:42:34,799
Just like the hair salon guy
and the Chevy dealer.
732
00:42:34,899 --> 00:42:37,699
You know why you can't keep
a goddamn job?
733
00:42:37,700 --> 00:42:40,399
'Cause you can't keep
your goddamn mouth shut!
734
00:42:40,498 --> 00:42:42,898
Excuse me, sir,
but I'd really appreciate it...
735
00:42:42,999 --> 00:42:45,298
if you wouldn't take
the Lord's name in vain again.
736
00:42:45,399 --> 00:42:47,398
You got a problem with that,
partner?
737
00:42:47,599 --> 00:42:51,099
Yes.
I have a big problem with that.
738
00:42:52,100 --> 00:42:54,900
Come on, Heathcliff.
I'll walk you out.
739
00:42:56,099 --> 00:42:58,098
Yes, ma'am, but my name's Adam.
740
00:42:59,699 --> 00:43:02,199
Adam and Eve, the perfect match.
741
00:43:02,199 --> 00:43:04,497
I hope the two of you
will be very happy together.
742
00:43:04,498 --> 00:43:06,198
Mazel-fucking-tov.
743
00:43:06,199 --> 00:43:08,099
And don't come back, neither,
miss big shot.
744
00:43:08,199 --> 00:43:09,298
I'm serious this time.
745
00:43:09,399 --> 00:43:10,999
You're finished
in the hobby business.
746
00:43:10,999 --> 00:43:12,199
Where are we going?
747
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,100
We? I'm going home.
Judging by that coat...
748
00:43:15,100 --> 00:43:17,000
you have to get back
to the barber college.
749
00:43:17,001 --> 00:43:18,599
No. I'm lost.
750
00:43:18,700 --> 00:43:20,699
You're lost?
751
00:43:20,899 --> 00:43:22,898
Did you just lose your job
back there because of me?
752
00:43:24,099 --> 00:43:26,599
Forget it. I'm sick of working
for that dickhead.
753
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:27,699
Dickhead?
754
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,900
A walking penis
capable of intelligent speech.
755
00:43:30,901 --> 00:43:32,399
A dickhead.
756
00:43:33,199 --> 00:43:34,898
What is wrong with you?
757
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,600
I just had
this mental picture--
758
00:43:36,699 --> 00:43:37,899
Help me pick these up.
759
00:43:38,999 --> 00:43:40,998
Oh, thank you.
760
00:43:42,499 --> 00:43:44,000
Where are you parked?
761
00:43:44,001 --> 00:43:45,799
I came on a bus.
762
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,400
Why does that not surprise me?
763
00:43:47,498 --> 00:43:49,399
Don't know.
Why doesn't it surprise you?
764
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:52,299
Well, I guess because
I'm a little psychic.
765
00:43:52,399 --> 00:43:53,599
I have this thing.
766
00:43:53,699 --> 00:43:55,599
Oh, that's nice.
767
00:43:55,599 --> 00:43:57,099
Yeah. Let me guess.
768
00:43:57,100 --> 00:43:59,399
This is your first visit
to la-la land.
769
00:43:59,498 --> 00:44:02,099
You're staying in Hollywood,
because like an idiot...
770
00:44:02,099 --> 00:44:03,999
you thought that would be
an exciting place to stay.
771
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,999
-Am I right so far?
-So far.
772
00:44:05,999 --> 00:44:07,998
-Yes, I'm right?
-Right.
773
00:44:07,999 --> 00:44:09,299
I knew it.
774
00:44:09,399 --> 00:44:11,199
So you get on a bus
and before you know it...
775
00:44:11,299 --> 00:44:13,298
you're stuck in the San Fernando
Valley without a clue...
776
00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,099
which brings us to here.
Correct again?
777
00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:16,300
Again.
778
00:44:16,300 --> 00:44:18,200
Where are you staying?
779
00:44:19,399 --> 00:44:20,599
The Holiday Inn.
780
00:44:21,199 --> 00:44:22,899
Yes, yes, The Holiday Inn.
781
00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:24,400
That's exactly right.
782
00:44:24,499 --> 00:44:27,400
See? I'm psychic.
Not completely, but pretty much.
783
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,799
Pretty good, huh?
784
00:44:28,899 --> 00:44:31,699
No, it was amazing!
785
00:44:31,799 --> 00:44:35,098
I know. Thanks. I'm gonna
predict a bus for you.
786
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,199
-You go down here--
-Do you own a car?
787
00:44:37,399 --> 00:44:38,499
Oh, no, sweetie.
788
00:44:38,599 --> 00:44:40,298
Rule number one
in North America.
789
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,200
No strangers in the car.
790
00:44:42,201 --> 00:44:43,699
If it'll make you feel
any better...
791
00:44:43,700 --> 00:44:45,200
I don't have a gun.
792
00:44:45,799 --> 00:44:48,299
Oh. Well,
that changes everything.
793
00:44:48,300 --> 00:44:49,600
Get away from me!
794
00:44:50,999 --> 00:44:53,599
I said something wrong.
Please forgive me.
795
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,998
-Get away from me!
-I'll make you a deal!
796
00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:59,200
I will give you a Rogers Hornsby
if you take me to the hotel!
797
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:03,098
Rogers Hornsby?
798
00:45:03,699 --> 00:45:05,698
He's yours.
I was holding him back.
799
00:45:05,999 --> 00:45:08,899
Rogers Hornsby's worth
four thousand dollars.
800
00:45:08,899 --> 00:45:10,699
So what? I got two of them !
801
00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:13,900
And this many
Larry "Yogi" Berras...
802
00:45:13,900 --> 00:45:15,700
and...
803
00:45:15,799 --> 00:45:18,098
For four thousand dollars,
all I have to do...
804
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,299
is drive you to your hotel?
805
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,099
-Uh-huh.
-That's it?
806
00:45:21,100 --> 00:45:23,299
I don't have to take
a physical on your spaceship?
807
00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:24,399
No, ma'am.
808
00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:26,099
What?
809
00:45:33,501 --> 00:45:36,100
So, Mr. Andretti,
first time on the freeway?
810
00:45:36,199 --> 00:45:38,497
It's Webber. Adam Webber.
811
00:45:38,500 --> 00:45:41,299
Mind if I change the station?
Better traffic reports on A.M.
812
00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:42,599
♪ Golden valley
813
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:43,799
Wait!
814
00:45:43,801 --> 00:45:45,699
What? What is it?
815
00:45:45,699 --> 00:45:47,599
Go back. You had him.
It's Perry.
816
00:45:48,399 --> 00:45:49,499
Perry?
817
00:45:49,599 --> 00:45:51,099
Perry Como.
818
00:45:51,100 --> 00:45:53,099
You had him. Go back.
819
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:55,900
OK. Just--
820
00:45:56,900 --> 00:45:58,899
-That's it.
-There.
821
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:06,099
I could die right now.
822
00:46:06,099 --> 00:46:07,399
Over this?
823
00:46:07,899 --> 00:46:13,099
♪ the happy sound as it goes along the
824
00:46:13,399 --> 00:46:14,599
Listen to this part.
825
00:46:15,599 --> 00:46:17,298
This is where it really
takes off.
826
00:46:17,299 --> 00:46:19,298
Wait for it. There!
827
00:46:19,299 --> 00:46:22,298
♪ then your love (your love)
will hold you round round round
828
00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:25,299
You are one scary
son of a gun.
829
00:46:25,300 --> 00:46:27,298
♪ your heart's a song
with a brand new sound
830
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:31,298
♪ And your head, goes spinnin'
round, round, round
831
00:46:31,300 --> 00:46:35,298
♪ Cause you found what
you've been dreamin' of
832
00:46:39,399 --> 00:46:40,798
You better slow down.
833
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,900
I can't help it. Perry Como
always does this to me.
834
00:46:43,901 --> 00:46:46,298
I just get so cranked.
835
00:46:58,899 --> 00:47:00,399
Card, please. End of service.
836
00:47:01,100 --> 00:47:02,900
That was wonderful.
837
00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:05,499
I've never felt anything
like that before in my life.
838
00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:07,399
Yeah, same here.
Don't forget your suitcase.
839
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,199
Thanks. You know--
840
00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:18,999
-Hello.
-Hi.
841
00:47:19,300 --> 00:47:20,699
I would like to stay
at this hotel.
842
00:47:20,799 --> 00:47:23,699
Fill this out, please,
and I'll need to see a card.
843
00:47:24,999 --> 00:47:26,199
A card?
844
00:47:26,299 --> 00:47:27,799
Yes, sir.
845
00:47:27,799 --> 00:47:30,798
Oh. Of course.
846
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:39,700
OK, then.
847
00:47:41,199 --> 00:47:42,999
Bathroom's there...
848
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,999
TV's there--remote is on top.
849
00:47:45,099 --> 00:47:46,999
Room service menu on the table.
850
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,499
Wow.
851
00:48:01,399 --> 00:48:03,098
Oh, you dial nine to get out.
852
00:48:04,999 --> 00:48:06,098
Of what?
853
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:09,300
The hotel.
854
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,099
I see.
855
00:48:14,999 --> 00:48:17,498
Thank you.
You've been very, very helpful.
856
00:48:17,499 --> 00:48:19,799
I managed to get some change
downstairs...
857
00:48:19,899 --> 00:48:22,498
and my father taught me
in situations like this...
858
00:48:22,498 --> 00:48:24,198
it's customary to give a tip.
859
00:48:25,199 --> 00:48:27,699
Your father's a smart guy.
860
00:48:27,799 --> 00:48:29,099
My father's a genius.
861
00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:36,799
Alright, here's your key,
and good night, sir.
862
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,498
Good night. Sleep tight.
863
00:48:38,498 --> 00:48:41,599
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
That's what my mom always says.
864
00:48:41,699 --> 00:48:43,498
Who I'm really beginning
to miss, by the way.
865
00:48:44,900 --> 00:48:48,000
Sorry. It's my first night
away from home.
866
00:48:49,199 --> 00:48:50,399
How old are you?
867
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,300
Thirty-five.
868
00:48:53,799 --> 00:48:55,299
You don't look thirty-five.
869
00:48:55,399 --> 00:48:56,899
How old do I look?
870
00:48:56,999 --> 00:48:59,698
Oh, twenty-five, around there.
871
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,399
I guess living up here
makes people look older.
872
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,999
Up here
on the eighteenth floor?
873
00:49:07,900 --> 00:49:09,899
Yes, up here
on the eighteenth floor.
874
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:11,501
Good night.
875
00:49:27,100 --> 00:49:28,799
What the hell am I doing here?
876
00:49:28,899 --> 00:49:31,399
That's what I'd like to know.
Somebody tell me that.
877
00:49:32,799 --> 00:49:35,499
Natural oils, tropical fruits...
878
00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:39,499
flora, nuts,
and protective sunscreens...
879
00:49:39,501 --> 00:49:42,100
a complete sun-care line...
880
00:49:48,901 --> 00:49:49,900
Yes?
881
00:49:50,699 --> 00:49:53,398
Hi. This is the woman
from the baseball card store.
882
00:49:53,501 --> 00:49:54,599
Remember me?
883
00:49:55,201 --> 00:49:57,099
Oh, yes, hi!
884
00:49:57,599 --> 00:49:59,298
Hot-diggety-dog!
885
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:02,000
Thanks for calling me
on the telephone.
886
00:50:09,599 --> 00:50:11,199
I'm so glad to see you.
887
00:50:11,299 --> 00:50:12,398
I thought
I'd never see you again.
888
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,300
OK, down, boy.
889
00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:17,400
Listen, I can't take this
for driving you home.
890
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:20,499
I wish I could, but I can't,
so, here, take it back.
891
00:50:21,699 --> 00:50:23,199
I would have left it
at the front desk...
892
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:24,499
but it's very valuable.
Take it.
893
00:50:24,599 --> 00:50:26,099
I can't take that. It's yours.
894
00:50:26,100 --> 00:50:27,600
Take it, damn it!
895
00:50:28,599 --> 00:50:30,598
Why are you doing that?
896
00:50:30,700 --> 00:50:32,300
Because I haven't brushed yet.
897
00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:37,700
Well, so long. Enjoy your visit.
898
00:50:37,701 --> 00:50:39,498
Wait. Eve, please wait.
899
00:50:39,499 --> 00:50:42,300
Please, do not follow me.
Don't do it.
900
00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:45,200
I knew this would happen.
You're like a lost puppy.
901
00:50:45,201 --> 00:50:48,399
Can't you talk to me
for just one little second?
902
00:50:48,901 --> 00:50:49,999
OK.*
903
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,599
Damn, I should have
taken the money and run.
904
00:50:52,599 --> 00:50:55,298
That's what Troy told me to do,
but did I listen? No.
905
00:50:56,199 --> 00:50:59,099
Will you put your hand down?
906
00:50:59,099 --> 00:51:01,899
Who's Troy? Is he your husband?
907
00:51:01,900 --> 00:51:03,800
Or a boyfriend?
908
00:51:02,900 --> 00:51:03,990
No!*
909
00:51:04,399 --> 00:51:06,299
Thank you!
910
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:09,000
Stop that! Don't do that!
911
00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:13,000
Listen, I know you like me, OK?
I can tell.
912
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,200
But, you know what?
A lot of guys like me.
913
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:19,100
Not me exactly. It's my legs
or my butt or my hair...
914
00:51:19,100 --> 00:51:20,400
or some combination
of the above.
915
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,399
I think it's the eyes.
916
00:51:22,500 --> 00:51:24,798
The eyes?
917
00:51:24,899 --> 00:51:28,198
Great. An eye man.
Anyhow, it never works out.
918
00:51:28,300 --> 00:51:30,599
OK? Not that you even
need to know that.
919
00:51:30,699 --> 00:51:33,199
You look like crap.
What have you been doing?
920
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:35,998
Watching television in color.
921
00:51:37,700 --> 00:51:39,300
In color? No kidding.
922
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,799
Cross my heart and hope to die.
923
00:51:41,900 --> 00:51:43,599
Yeah. See ya.
924
00:51:44,299 --> 00:51:45,799
Why doesn't it ever work out?
925
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:46,899
What?
926
00:51:46,999 --> 00:51:48,799
Why doesn't it ever work out,
you and men?
927
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,799
Why? Who the hell knows?
928
00:51:51,899 --> 00:51:54,399
If you promise to leave me
alone, I'll tell you why.
929
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:55,299
OK.*
930
00:51:55,300 --> 00:51:56,399
It never works out...
931
00:51:56,399 --> 00:52:00,398
because I am into legs
and hair and butts myself.
932
00:52:00,399 --> 00:52:02,199
So I wind up with guys
who are very good-looking...
933
00:52:02,299 --> 00:52:05,099
but even more shallow than I am,
if you can picture that.
934
00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:06,600
If you'll excuse me,
I have to go find...
935
00:52:06,700 --> 00:52:08,099
another low-paying,
demeaning job...
936
00:52:08,199 --> 00:52:10,198
where some guy named Jerry
keeps telling me...
937
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:11,899
how lousy his marriage is.
938
00:52:11,900 --> 00:52:14,199
-Why not go to work for me?
-Doing what?
939
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:15,800
Helping me sell
all my baseball cards...
940
00:52:15,899 --> 00:52:16,998
and buying enough
food and supplies...
941
00:52:17,100 --> 00:52:19,099
to fill several large trucks.
942
00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:20,800
Food and supplies?
943
00:52:20,801 --> 00:52:22,299
Who for, starving people?
944
00:52:22,399 --> 00:52:25,899
They're not starving yet,
but they do need help.
945
00:52:25,900 --> 00:52:27,599
How long would you need me for?
946
00:52:27,599 --> 00:52:29,199
Two weeks.
947
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,400
What's the pay?
948
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:31,799
What's fair?
949
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:35,198
I gotta make at least
a thousand dollars a week.
950
00:52:40,299 --> 00:52:41,498
You got it.
951
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:44,199
-Wait here while I get changed.
-Sure.
952
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,199
♪ I will buy you a ...*
953
00:52:55,699 --> 00:52:57,299
Here you go.
954
00:52:57,299 --> 00:52:58,799
Why would someone need...
955
00:52:58,899 --> 00:53:02,399
twenty-six yacht batteries?
956
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,000
I don't know.
I just work for the guy.
957
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,299
And who does he work for,
the CIA?
958
00:53:07,299 --> 00:53:08,998
Pipe tobacco.
959
00:53:10,501 --> 00:53:12,100
I'm going to need all of this.
960
00:53:14,700 --> 00:53:16,600
Toilet paper.
961
00:53:18,699 --> 00:53:19,899
Is there a sale?
962
00:53:36,299 --> 00:53:38,298
Well, another day,
another dollar.
963
00:53:45,700 --> 00:53:47,099
Will you stop staring at me?
964
00:53:47,099 --> 00:53:48,299
Sorry.
965
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:50,599
I'll pick you up
at 8:00 in the morning.
966
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,000
You know, Eve, I was thinking--
967
00:53:56,100 --> 00:53:57,199
Good night.
968
00:53:59,100 --> 00:54:00,199
'Night.
969
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,499
We'll need to rent
a refrigerated truck...
970
00:54:19,499 --> 00:54:21,500
for the beef and poultry.
971
00:54:21,599 --> 00:54:23,498
Well, it's your life.
972
00:54:23,498 --> 00:54:25,497
And by the way, it's a dandy.
973
00:54:28,300 --> 00:54:30,699
Think we're also going to have
to get another locker.
974
00:54:31,399 --> 00:54:33,798
It's no problem. We'll just
sell another baseball card.
975
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:36,700
Coming down.
976
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,000
You know, Eve...
977
00:54:48,999 --> 00:54:50,899
And--and don't get mad,
OK, but...
978
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:55,099
I would just be lost
without you.
979
00:54:58,399 --> 00:54:59,699
Thanks.
980
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,300
And I guess...
981
00:55:04,299 --> 00:55:05,698
I guess that...
982
00:55:05,799 --> 00:55:06,898
I think that you and l--
983
00:55:06,899 --> 00:55:08,898
Adam,
don't even think about it, OK?
984
00:55:09,099 --> 00:55:11,398
I'm sorry.
I know that sounds mean...
985
00:55:11,399 --> 00:55:13,899
but it would be a lot meaner
if I didn't say it, OK?
986
00:55:16,499 --> 00:55:18,500
Let's take this truck back,
and I'm hungry.
987
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:23,699
Are you getting in?
988
00:55:29,299 --> 00:55:30,899
There's something else
I'd like you to help me with.
989
00:55:30,999 --> 00:55:32,098
Name it.
990
00:55:32,199 --> 00:55:34,898
I'm afraid this is going
to sound a little bit crazy.
991
00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:36,898
I'm sure it will.
992
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,099
Then forget it.
993
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,899
No, no. I'm sorry.
994
00:55:40,900 --> 00:55:42,100
What is it?
995
00:55:43,599 --> 00:55:45,298
Eve,
I want you to help me find...
996
00:55:46,100 --> 00:55:47,199
a wife.
997
00:55:47,300 --> 00:55:49,800
-A wife?
-Yes.
998
00:55:49,801 --> 00:55:50,999
What for?
999
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,999
Because I want to get married.
1000
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,800
Why?
1001
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:56,500
Because I don't want
to be alone.
1002
00:55:56,501 --> 00:55:58,498
Well, you can be single
and not alone.
1003
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:00,998
Marriage bites.
1004
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,299
-Bites what?
-The big one.
1005
00:56:03,399 --> 00:56:04,699
It does?
1006
00:56:04,699 --> 00:56:05,798
Sure.
1007
00:56:05,900 --> 00:56:06,999
Oh. I didn't know that.
1008
00:56:07,099 --> 00:56:08,798
Everybody knows that.
1009
00:56:08,900 --> 00:56:11,501
I mean,
ask my divorced brothers...
1010
00:56:11,501 --> 00:56:13,498
or my divorced mom and dad.
1011
00:56:13,599 --> 00:56:15,598
Everybody knows that.
1012
00:56:15,700 --> 00:56:17,000
They're all divorced?
1013
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,999
Everybody's divorced.
1014
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,499
Wow!*
1015
00:56:23,999 --> 00:56:25,698
What kind of wife
you looking for?
1016
00:56:25,700 --> 00:56:27,499
Oh, um, well...
1017
00:56:28,700 --> 00:56:30,099
one who's not a mutant.
1018
00:56:31,099 --> 00:56:32,299
No dogs, huh?
1019
00:56:32,300 --> 00:56:33,999
OK. Cool.
1020
00:56:35,299 --> 00:56:36,799
And if it's possible...
1021
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:39,199
I'd like to marry
someone from Pasadena.
1022
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:47,200
Um, when do you need her by?
1023
00:56:48,999 --> 00:56:50,199
Two weeks?
1024
00:56:51,100 --> 00:56:53,000
Well, I can probably
get you laid in two weeks...
1025
00:56:53,001 --> 00:56:56,998
but to locate a non-mutant wife
from Pasadena...
1026
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,300
will take some time.
1027
00:56:59,799 --> 00:57:01,198
That's what I was afraid of.
1028
00:57:07,299 --> 00:57:09,698
What do you mean,
you can get me laid?
1029
00:57:12,099 --> 00:57:13,699
Uh, can we talk about that
a little later?
1030
00:57:13,799 --> 00:57:15,399
-Of course.
-Great.
1031
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:20,800
Lord, bless this food
we are about to receive...
1032
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,700
and make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.
1033
00:57:23,799 --> 00:57:25,198
And bless my mom...
1034
00:57:25,199 --> 00:57:26,298
and bless my dad...
1035
00:57:26,399 --> 00:57:28,398
and bless my new friend Eve.
1036
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:29,800
Amen.
1037
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:31,900
Amen.*
1038
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:41,598
Get out.
1039
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,999
-The engine is still running.
-Now! Get out!
1040
00:57:43,999 --> 00:57:45,098
Yes, ma'am.
1041
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:46,700
-Stop the "Ma'am" crap.
-Sorry.
1042
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:49,900
You almost got us killed.
1043
00:57:49,901 --> 00:57:51,699
I told you,
I've never driven before.
1044
00:57:51,799 --> 00:57:53,299
Well, never drive again.
1045
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,399
You said it would be easy.
1046
00:57:55,500 --> 00:57:56,999
Well, I was wrong!
1047
00:57:58,099 --> 00:57:59,999
-Say, is this your house?
-Yes.
1048
00:57:59,999 --> 00:58:01,098
I like it.
1049
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:03,100
What are you
bitching about now?
1050
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,100
What are you doing here?
1051
00:58:05,100 --> 00:58:06,799
I forgot some of my stuff.
1052
00:58:06,799 --> 00:58:08,798
-Your stuff?
-Yeah.
1053
00:58:08,799 --> 00:58:10,099
Let me see that.
1054
00:58:10,999 --> 00:58:12,998
Oh, you came back
for your underwear.
1055
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:16,100
Excuse me.
These are Ralph Laurens.
1056
00:58:16,199 --> 00:58:17,399
How'd you get in?
1057
00:58:18,899 --> 00:58:19,998
Thanks.
1058
00:58:20,799 --> 00:58:23,299
And who's this
interesting looking fellow?
1059
00:58:23,300 --> 00:58:24,399
This is Adam.
1060
00:58:24,499 --> 00:58:26,000
Adam, this is Cliff.
1061
00:58:26,001 --> 00:58:27,698
How do you do?
1062
00:58:27,699 --> 00:58:29,199
I do fine, Adam.
1063
00:58:29,299 --> 00:58:31,598
How about yourself?
You, uh...
1064
00:58:31,599 --> 00:58:33,298
doing any good lately?
1065
00:58:33,300 --> 00:58:35,800
Go home, Cliff,
wherever that might be.
1066
00:58:35,801 --> 00:58:37,399
Sheena Gilroy's apartment.
1067
00:58:37,399 --> 00:58:40,899
You remember her. She's
the model who went to Harvard.
1068
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:45,300
Well, I'd better be going.
1069
00:58:45,301 --> 00:58:46,599
Bye, Adam.
1070
00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:48,699
-Nice coat.
-Thank you, Cliff.
1071
00:58:48,700 --> 00:58:50,200
It was very nice to meet you.
1072
00:58:50,300 --> 00:58:51,900
That's a nice parking job, too.
1073
00:58:52,799 --> 00:58:54,299
May I ask you a question?
1074
00:58:54,399 --> 00:58:55,499
He's a former boyfriend.
1075
00:58:55,501 --> 00:58:57,000
We lived together
for about six months...
1076
00:58:57,001 --> 00:58:59,398
and, yes, I still have
sort of a thing for him.
1077
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,699
That's what you wanted to know,
isn't it?
1078
00:59:01,700 --> 00:59:03,399
No. I was going to ask you...
1079
00:59:03,399 --> 00:59:06,098
why Cliff likes to wear
another man's underpants.
1080
00:59:19,399 --> 00:59:22,098
...*
1081
00:59:06,099 --> 00:59:07,299
What?
1082
00:59:21,499 --> 00:59:23,899
This guy is unbelievable.
1083
00:59:24,999 --> 00:59:26,098
I knew you'd like him.
1084
00:59:26,100 --> 00:59:28,399
I know. It's like he's from
"X Files" or something.
1085
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:31,600
He's got all these easily
negotiable properties, right?
1086
00:59:31,700 --> 00:59:33,000
And he's obviously
setting up something big--
1087
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,900
maybe a self-sustaining island
off the coast of South America.
1088
00:59:35,900 --> 00:59:36,999
Or maybe he's the leader
of some cult...
1089
00:59:37,100 --> 00:59:40,500
that's into practices involving
poultry and pipe tobacco.
1090
00:59:47,300 --> 00:59:49,200
You have very nice ceilings.
1091
00:59:49,299 --> 00:59:50,899
-Do l?
-Mm-hmm.
1092
00:59:51,599 --> 00:59:52,799
Well...
1093
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:55,600
you like ceilings?
1094
00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:56,900
Not particularly.
1095
00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:59,499
Ah. Well, I hope you like this.
1096
00:59:59,500 --> 01:00:02,298
It's fresh sea urchin wrapped
in seaweed. Nori, if you prefer
1097
01:00:02,300 --> 01:00:03,399
I love sushi.
1098
01:00:04,299 --> 01:00:05,498
I love Lucy.
1099
01:00:05,499 --> 01:00:08,300
Who doesn't? She's hilarious.
1100
01:00:09,100 --> 01:00:11,498
Here you go--
one champagne cocktail.
1101
01:00:11,498 --> 01:00:12,699
Oh, thank you.
1102
01:00:12,700 --> 01:00:14,699
I thought only hookers
drank those things.
1103
01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:17,299
Well, I know Mom
sure likes them.
1104
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:24,300
Well, dinner's in fifteen.
Why don't we sit down and chat?
1105
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,600
So, Troy, what do you do
for a living?
1106
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,599
Oh, I design web sites.
1107
01:00:32,299 --> 01:00:33,398
And, Adam...
1108
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,000
where on Earth are you from?
1109
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,499
Out of town.
That's all he'll say.
1110
01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:39,499
It's a very small place.
1111
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,200
People don't even know
it's there.
1112
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:43,399
And it's called?
1113
01:00:43,399 --> 01:00:45,798
Maybe Eve can guess.
1114
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,000
She's psychic.
1115
01:00:47,001 --> 01:00:48,599
Is she?
1116
01:00:48,599 --> 01:00:49,799
Since when?
1117
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,300
Since I got rear-ended
in Palm Springs.
1118
01:00:52,300 --> 01:00:53,600
Well, then,
Miss Dionne Warwick...
1119
01:00:53,700 --> 01:00:55,200
why don't you tell us
what town he's from?
1120
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,199
Alright. Give me your hand.
1121
01:00:59,999 --> 01:01:01,299
Oh, Lord.
1122
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,300
I'm not promising anything.
1123
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,600
-Are you OK?
-Mm-hmm.
1124
01:01:13,999 --> 01:01:15,899
I see snow--
1125
01:01:17,199 --> 01:01:19,198
Iots of snow...
1126
01:01:19,300 --> 01:01:20,900
way up north.
1127
01:01:21,500 --> 01:01:23,099
Are we getting hot?
1128
01:01:24,099 --> 01:01:25,098
Yes...
1129
01:01:27,900 --> 01:01:29,899
You live in Alaska...
1130
01:01:29,899 --> 01:01:32,799
and the only way in and out
of your place is by plane.
1131
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,999
And you definitely came here
for food and supplies...
1132
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,499
and to find a wife.
1133
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,499
Wow!*
1134
01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:43,299
That was right?
1135
01:01:43,299 --> 01:01:45,298
Got goosebumps all over me.
1136
01:01:45,299 --> 01:01:47,099
I'm clairvoyant, butthead.
1137
01:01:47,100 --> 01:01:49,600
Why wouldn't you just go
to Nome...
1138
01:01:49,700 --> 01:01:51,000
to get supplies and a wife?
1139
01:01:51,099 --> 01:01:52,399
Isn't that a lot closer?
1140
01:01:52,499 --> 01:01:55,600
Yeah, right. That's where
you'd go to find girls--
1141
01:01:55,601 --> 01:01:57,099
Nome.
1142
01:01:57,100 --> 01:01:58,700
He's gay, by the way.
1143
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,699
Well, good for you.
1144
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,999
Well, we try.
1145
01:02:05,099 --> 01:02:06,599
Can I ask you some questions?
1146
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,499
When did Alaska become a state?
1147
01:02:10,499 --> 01:02:11,700
1959.
1148
01:02:11,700 --> 01:02:14,200
And who owned it before we did?
1149
01:02:14,300 --> 01:02:15,699
Russia.
1150
01:02:15,700 --> 01:02:17,200
And when did we get it
from them?
1151
01:02:17,201 --> 01:02:19,099
1867--Seward's folly.
1152
01:02:19,099 --> 01:02:22,098
We purchased it for seven
point two million dollars--
1153
01:02:22,099 --> 01:02:23,899
a tidy sum then as well as now.
1154
01:02:23,999 --> 01:02:25,799
I'm quoting my father,
of course.
1155
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:27,600
Alright,
what's the state capital?
1156
01:02:27,601 --> 01:02:28,799
Juneau.
1157
01:02:28,799 --> 01:02:31,198
Hello? It's Anchorage. Gotcha.
1158
01:02:32,399 --> 01:02:34,398
Sorry. That's the largest city.
1159
01:02:40,700 --> 01:02:41,900
Where's he going?
1160
01:02:41,901 --> 01:02:44,598
He's going to check
your answers on his computer.
1161
01:02:45,799 --> 01:02:47,099
He has a computer?
1162
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,199
-Sure.
-In the house?
1163
01:02:49,299 --> 01:02:51,298
No, actually,
it's in the backyard.
1164
01:02:51,499 --> 01:02:53,199
Of course it's in the house.
It's in there.
1165
01:02:53,199 --> 01:02:54,298
May I be excused, please?
1166
01:02:56,199 --> 01:02:57,399
Thank you.
1167
01:03:47,999 --> 01:03:49,299
Who are you?
1168
01:03:51,300 --> 01:03:52,399
I'm the mother.
1169
01:03:52,498 --> 01:03:53,999
It's the mother!
1170
01:04:12,399 --> 01:04:14,199
Troy, I suppose
those tall buildings...
1171
01:04:14,299 --> 01:04:15,998
we saw this morning are new?
1172
01:04:15,999 --> 01:04:18,498
Yeah.
Almost all of them, anyway.
1173
01:04:18,498 --> 01:04:20,099
The recovery's impressive.
1174
01:04:20,100 --> 01:04:21,300
Recovery?
1175
01:04:21,300 --> 01:04:24,999
Oh, yeah. They rebuilt
the freeway in only six months.
1176
01:04:24,999 --> 01:04:26,799
-Really?
-Uh-huh.
1177
01:04:26,900 --> 01:04:28,899
That's amazing.
I'm very impressed.
1178
01:04:28,999 --> 01:04:30,998
-Oh, well, that's impressive.
-Are you sure I look OK?
1179
01:04:31,100 --> 01:04:33,000
Oh, trust me, you look fabulous.
1180
01:04:33,100 --> 01:04:34,199
Thank you, Troy.
1181
01:04:40,501 --> 01:04:42,799
So, what do you think?
1182
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:45,000
It works.
1183
01:04:44,999 --> 01:04:46,998
Maybe I should show you
the entire trousseau--
1184
01:04:47,199 --> 01:04:49,099
shirts, sweaters, socks,
the whole thing.
1185
01:04:49,199 --> 01:04:50,699
No. First, let's show her these.
1186
01:04:53,900 --> 01:04:55,299
Eve, can I skate
around your block?
1187
01:04:57,100 --> 01:04:58,799
How about it, Eve?
1188
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,799
Can he skate around your block?
1189
01:05:02,799 --> 01:05:05,098
Just a few laps.
1190
01:05:05,099 --> 01:05:06,299
It won't take long.
1191
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,299
No.*
1192
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,000
Look.
1193
01:05:37,899 --> 01:05:40,198
Adam, will you go skate
on the bike path?
1194
01:05:40,299 --> 01:05:42,698
-Where?
-The bike path. It's over there.
1195
01:05:45,700 --> 01:05:47,399
God, I wish I could wear
those pants.
1196
01:07:20,100 --> 01:07:45,000
YMCA...*
1197
01:07:47,100 --> 01:07:49,000
Alright, girl, hit that ball.
1198
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:01,000
I get it.
1199
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:02,999
I finally get it.
1200
01:08:03,199 --> 01:08:05,898
You have to see it
to understand it.
1201
01:08:07,999 --> 01:08:09,498
Because he must.
1202
01:08:20,699 --> 01:08:22,299
Haven't you ever heard
the saying...
1203
01:08:22,399 --> 01:08:24,798
"He hasn't got enough sense
to come in out of the rain"?
1204
01:08:24,999 --> 01:08:26,198
Yep.*
1205
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:28,200
You know...
1206
01:08:28,201 --> 01:08:31,497
my father, who is a scientist...
1207
01:08:31,498 --> 01:08:34,099
says that everything
is a miracle.
1208
01:08:34,108 --> 01:08:35,000
Yeah?*
1209
01:08:35,099 --> 01:08:36,399
Everything.
1210
01:08:36,399 --> 01:08:39,599
Until recently, I wasn't sure
what he meant by that.
1211
01:08:39,700 --> 01:08:41,200
No kidding. Listen...
1212
01:08:41,299 --> 01:08:43,199
you still want to go
girl hunting tonight?
1213
01:08:43,199 --> 01:08:44,598
Oh, yes, I certainly do.
1214
01:08:45,199 --> 01:08:46,598
OK.*
1215
01:08:47,099 --> 01:08:48,299
But, I mean, you know...
1216
01:08:48,300 --> 01:08:49,699
this whole business
of finding you a wife...
1217
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:51,300
it's pretty ridiculous,
don't you think?
1218
01:08:51,399 --> 01:08:53,398
-No, it isn't.
-Yes, it is.
1219
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:56,699
A girlfriend, maybe,
but a wife, it's...
1220
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:58,300
Well, then help me
find a girlfriend.
1221
01:08:58,300 --> 01:08:59,699
That's all I ask.
1222
01:08:59,700 --> 01:09:01,999
I'll tell you what. I'll give
you every single card I've got.
1223
01:09:02,900 --> 01:09:05,700
Screw you. You think I'm just
somebody you can buy off?
1224
01:09:05,701 --> 01:09:07,098
I didn't mean that at all.
1225
01:09:07,100 --> 01:09:09,099
Eve, you're my best friend.
1226
01:09:09,199 --> 01:09:11,898
Would you do it because
you're my very best friend?
1227
01:09:15,199 --> 01:09:16,898
Yeah, OK.*
1228
01:09:21,499 --> 01:09:23,000
Thank you, Eve.
1229
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:33,299
Well, why did we park
way back there?
1230
01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:37,700
She doesn't allow total
strangers to drive her car.
1231
01:09:40,399 --> 01:09:42,698
-What?
-Ladies first, Troy.
1232
01:09:42,699 --> 01:09:44,500
-That was close.
-Uh-huh.
1233
01:09:45,399 --> 01:09:48,798
My goodness gracious,
this place is something.
1234
01:09:48,899 --> 01:09:50,099
Look unimpressed.
1235
01:09:50,100 --> 01:09:51,600
Yeah, bored, even.
1236
01:09:53,498 --> 01:09:55,999
Try vaguely bored.
1237
01:09:56,099 --> 01:09:58,398
Unimpressed,
but still interested.
1238
01:10:00,599 --> 01:10:01,698
Not crazy.
1239
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:03,199
-Do I look crazy?
-Yes.
1240
01:10:03,299 --> 01:10:05,698
Just, uh, be loose.
1241
01:10:07,199 --> 01:10:09,999
-Just be yourself.
-That's always good advice.
1242
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:12,600
Well, for him. It doesn't work
with the rest of us.
1243
01:10:15,699 --> 01:10:19,398
"Of all the clubs in all
the towns in all the world...
1244
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:20,799
"you walk into mine.
1245
01:10:20,899 --> 01:10:22,699
So welcome to Club 40's...
1246
01:10:22,700 --> 01:10:25,200
where the party never stops.
1247
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:26,400
Ah, Jason, Jonathan...
1248
01:10:26,501 --> 01:10:28,100
this is Adam.
Adam, that's them.
1249
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:29,501
Hi. How do you do?
1250
01:10:29,599 --> 01:10:32,898
It's very nice to meet you,
Jason and Jonathan.
1251
01:10:32,899 --> 01:10:34,099
My mother always said...
1252
01:10:34,100 --> 01:10:35,799
that when you meet someone
for the first time...
1253
01:10:35,900 --> 01:10:37,899
it's always easier
to remember their names...
1254
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,200
if you use those names
right away, Jason and Jonathan.
1255
01:10:42,599 --> 01:10:44,099
He's from Alaska.
1256
01:10:45,099 --> 01:10:46,099
Oh!
1257
01:10:47,199 --> 01:10:48,399
Hi there, Eve.
1258
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:49,700
Who's the hunk?
1259
01:10:49,799 --> 01:10:51,099
Get lost, Sophie.
1260
01:10:51,099 --> 01:10:52,699
Hi. I'm Sophie.
1261
01:10:52,699 --> 01:10:54,498
Hi. How do you do?
I'm Adam Webber.
1262
01:10:54,499 --> 01:10:55,800
Adam lives in Alaska.
1263
01:10:55,900 --> 01:10:57,100
No shit?
1264
01:10:57,100 --> 01:10:59,700
-Vous parlez français?
-Oui.
1265
01:10:59,700 --> 01:11:01,300
Moi, je parle un peu français.
1266
01:11:01,300 --> 01:11:03,100
Oh, you speak beautiful French.
1267
01:11:03,199 --> 01:11:04,999
J'ai habite à paris un an.
1268
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:06,699
Paris--
c'est la 'vie' des lumières
1269
01:11:06,699 --> 01:11:08,098
-n'est-ce pas?
-Oui.
1270
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:10,599
-C'est le pays d'amour.
-Bien sur.
1271
01:11:10,599 --> 01:11:13,099
C'est bien que
je vous aie rencontrée
1272
01:11:13,100 --> 01:11:15,099
parce que je n'ai pas
eu la chance de pratiquer.
1273
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:16,799
Si tu veux,
nous pouvons pratiquer...
1274
01:11:16,899 --> 01:11:18,498
beaucoup de choses ensemble.
1275
01:11:18,899 --> 01:11:20,498
-Oui?*
-Adam
1276
01:11:21,099 --> 01:11:22,299
Tais-toi.
1277
01:11:23,900 --> 01:11:24,999
Au revoir.
1278
01:11:25,100 --> 01:11:26,300
Je m'appelle Adam Webber.
1279
01:11:26,900 --> 01:11:27,999
Au revoir.*
1280
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:29,399
Quit showing off.
We're here on business.
1281
01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:30,799
I thought we were here
to meet women.
1282
01:11:30,899 --> 01:11:32,799
-Not that one.
-I like her.
1283
01:11:32,900 --> 01:11:35,400
Now, Sophie,
when you fly to Paris...
1284
01:11:35,401 --> 01:11:38,500
do you check these,
or are they carry-on?
1285
01:11:38,501 --> 01:11:39,899
They're carry-on.
1286
01:11:42,599 --> 01:11:43,799
Excuse me.
1287
01:11:50,501 --> 01:11:52,400
What are you drinking?
1288
01:11:52,400 --> 01:11:53,900
Oh, this is a Rob Roy.
1289
01:11:53,901 --> 01:11:55,500
It's a very popular drink
I'm told.
1290
01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,099
How about her?
1291
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:01,200
No way.
1292
01:12:01,300 --> 01:12:02,500
No way?*
1293
01:12:02,799 --> 01:12:04,798
Why not? l--I think
she's very attractive.
1294
01:12:05,499 --> 01:12:06,598
Adam
1295
01:12:06,699 --> 01:12:08,698
She's got "bitch"
written all over her.
1296
01:12:08,700 --> 01:12:12,099
You do know what "bitch" means,
don't you?
1297
01:12:12,099 --> 01:12:14,098
Well, yes, I do.
I do have a dictionary...
1298
01:12:14,099 --> 01:12:15,798
but I can't understand
for the life of me...
1299
01:12:15,900 --> 01:12:17,800
why you would say that
about her...
1300
01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,099
or why Cliff would say that
about you.
1301
01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:24,599
OK, I, I don't...*
1302
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:26,999
I think for you
we should aim for...
1303
01:12:27,199 --> 01:12:28,500
sweet.
1304
01:12:28,500 --> 01:12:30,798
OK. I like that.
1305
01:12:30,900 --> 01:12:32,400
Yeah, sweet.
1306
01:12:32,401 --> 01:12:34,398
That's a lovely way
of putting it.
1307
01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:38,099
There's Miss Sweet over there
by the hors d'oeuvres table.
1308
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:39,500
Look.
1309
01:12:39,500 --> 01:12:41,497
Oh, yeah, yeah. Could be.
1310
01:12:41,498 --> 01:12:44,099
Yeah, go on, Romeo. Say hello.
1311
01:12:44,099 --> 01:12:45,999
She looks
like a non-mutant to me.
1312
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:47,498
OK. Alright.
1313
01:12:48,501 --> 01:12:49,599
What do I say to her?
1314
01:12:49,700 --> 01:12:52,300
Oh, say something surprising...
1315
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:53,600
something funny--
1316
01:12:54,799 --> 01:12:56,099
Lie, if need be.
1317
01:12:56,200 --> 01:12:58,500
-Lie?
-Oh, yeah.
1318
01:12:58,501 --> 01:13:01,000
Lying can be
a very effective dating tool.
1319
01:13:04,599 --> 01:13:06,799
OK. Alright.
1320
01:13:06,799 --> 01:13:08,198
Here I go.
1321
01:13:11,699 --> 01:13:13,299
I don't think
I want to watch this.
1322
01:13:13,299 --> 01:13:15,298
Surprising and funny.
1323
01:13:15,501 --> 01:13:17,400
Well, I know "the duck
who bought some lip balm."
1324
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:20,100
Lie.
1325
01:13:22,300 --> 01:13:23,300
Hi.*
1326
01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:25,300
Yes?*
1327
01:13:25,699 --> 01:13:27,698
I was wondering
if you could help me.
1328
01:13:27,699 --> 01:13:29,698
I, um, seem to have lost...
1329
01:13:29,999 --> 01:13:31,299
my Congressional Medal
of Honor...
1330
01:13:31,299 --> 01:13:33,099
around here somewhere.
1331
01:13:35,498 --> 01:13:36,799
Now, that's a great one.
1332
01:13:39,900 --> 01:13:41,700
This is my new friend.
1333
01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:43,900
Ah, hi! Adam Webber*
1334
01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,500
Hi. I'm Heather.
1335
01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:47,500
-Heather?*
-Yes.
1336
01:13:48,700 --> 01:13:50,699
I don't believe I've ever
heard that name before.
1337
01:13:55,900 --> 01:13:57,501
Yeah, do you dance?
1338
01:13:57,599 --> 01:13:59,598
Why, I took a dance lesson
every day of my life...
1339
01:13:59,899 --> 01:14:01,699
up until a couple of days ago.
1340
01:14:01,799 --> 01:14:03,699
-You're kidding.
-No, no, I did.
1341
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:06,798
Shall we dance?
1342
01:14:06,799 --> 01:14:08,099
-Sure.
-Yeah?
1343
01:14:12,999 --> 01:14:14,498
Wait for me.
1344
01:14:47,999 --> 01:14:50,498
You got...*
1345
01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:24,100
Is that your girlfriend?
1346
01:16:24,101 --> 01:16:26,699
No, no.
Will you please excuse me?
1347
01:16:28,499 --> 01:16:30,498
You -- you go to the bathroom.
1348
01:16:30,599 --> 01:16:31,698
What, right here?
1349
01:16:32,700 --> 01:16:35,300
I thought I should check.
You're being so bossy.
1350
01:16:35,400 --> 01:16:36,700
Thank you both very much
for the dance.
1351
01:16:36,700 --> 01:16:37,900
Thank you.
1352
01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:45,498
I have to go to the bathroom!
1353
01:16:45,799 --> 01:16:46,898
Oh?*
1354
01:16:49,300 --> 01:16:52,599
-You wanted to see me?
-You're not from Alaska.
1355
01:16:52,600 --> 01:16:54,200
Where the hell did you learn
to dance like that?
1356
01:16:54,299 --> 01:16:57,199
And there are
no starving people, are there?
1357
01:16:57,200 --> 01:16:58,599
Why are you so angry with me?
1358
01:16:58,599 --> 01:17:00,898
What, you think
I'm some kind of sap?
1359
01:17:00,899 --> 01:17:02,699
No, I don't.
1360
01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:03,799
I admire you.
1361
01:17:03,799 --> 01:17:06,599
I fell in love with you
the very moment I saw you.
1362
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:08,501
I want you to stop lying to me.
1363
01:17:10,100 --> 01:17:11,400
Alright.
1364
01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:12,600
I'll tell you everything.
1365
01:17:12,601 --> 01:17:14,099
In 1962--
1366
01:17:14,199 --> 01:17:16,099
Well, well, well.
1367
01:17:16,099 --> 01:17:17,699
Don't we clean up nice?
1368
01:17:19,699 --> 01:17:20,899
Well, hello, Cliff.
1369
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:23,200
How are you this evening?
1370
01:17:23,299 --> 01:17:24,998
Not bad...
1371
01:17:24,999 --> 01:17:27,799
though I do miss
that green sport coat of yours.
1372
01:17:27,899 --> 01:17:29,199
Oh, why, thank you, Cliff...
1373
01:17:29,199 --> 01:17:30,898
but that's my seat,
and I was just about--
1374
01:17:30,899 --> 01:17:32,799
Come have a drink up at the bar.
1375
01:17:40,899 --> 01:17:42,399
Sure.
1376
01:17:42,498 --> 01:17:43,699
Excuse us.
1377
01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:46,200
It's all yours.
1378
01:18:17,099 --> 01:18:18,599
Please excuse this interruption.
1379
01:18:18,599 --> 01:18:19,698
Oh, brother.
1380
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:22,400
Eve, I don't mean to be rude,
and, Cliff, please excuse me...
1381
01:18:22,500 --> 01:18:25,499
but, Eve, isn't Cliff
just a butt with hair?
1382
01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:26,699
What?
1383
01:18:26,700 --> 01:18:30,099
I'm sorry. And legs--
Legs, butt, and hair.
1384
01:18:30,200 --> 01:18:31,299
And shallow as well.
1385
01:18:31,399 --> 01:18:32,497
Shallow?
1386
01:18:32,499 --> 01:18:34,400
Adam, why don't you go home?
1387
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:35,700
Go back to the hotel.
1388
01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:37,500
Yeah, before I kick your ass.
1389
01:18:38,899 --> 01:18:41,799
I must warn you, Cliff,
I do know how to defend myself.
1390
01:18:41,900 --> 01:18:43,501
Oh, do you?
1391
01:18:44,300 --> 01:18:45,800
Stop it, you two.
1392
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:47,700
Nice move.
1393
01:18:47,701 --> 01:18:50,199
Yeah, he's right. Maybe
we shouldn't fight in here.
1394
01:18:51,199 --> 01:18:52,298
I agree.
1395
01:18:55,099 --> 01:18:56,008
Adam!*
1396
01:18:56,099 --> 01:18:57,999
I'm sorry. He was going to...
1397
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:02,100
Maybe we shouldn't fight at all.
I mean...
1398
01:19:02,100 --> 01:19:03,799
fighting's pretty immature
when you think about it.
1399
01:19:03,899 --> 01:19:05,298
It certainly is.
1400
01:19:07,199 --> 01:19:08,598
I'm leaving.
1401
01:19:08,600 --> 01:19:09,999
That's probably a good idea.
1402
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:11,499
I'm sorry.
1403
01:19:14,800 --> 01:19:16,400
Well...
1404
01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:17,600
good night, everyone.
1405
01:19:20,100 --> 01:19:22,399
I'm leaving, too, OK?
1406
01:19:22,399 --> 01:19:23,599
And you know what?
If you want help...
1407
01:19:23,699 --> 01:19:25,500
you can ask Troy,
because I quit.
1408
01:19:25,501 --> 01:19:27,100
This is ridiculous.
1409
01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:29,899
You're ridiculous,
and I'm ridiculous.
1410
01:19:34,700 --> 01:19:36,501
I'll buy you another
Rob Roy, huh, champ?
1411
01:19:37,799 --> 01:19:39,299
Rob Roy for the gentleman.
1412
01:19:45,501 --> 01:19:46,700
Well?
1413
01:19:47,700 --> 01:19:49,200
He go back to the hotel?
1414
01:19:49,201 --> 01:19:50,799
He might have.
1415
01:19:50,900 --> 01:19:52,100
What does that mean?
1416
01:19:52,799 --> 01:19:55,499
That means
that we did not leave together.
1417
01:19:55,501 --> 01:19:57,100
Well, who did he leave with?
1418
01:19:57,100 --> 01:19:59,099
-What's that to you?
-I'm his pimp!
1419
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:01,999
He left with those dancers,
didn't he?
1420
01:20:03,900 --> 01:20:04,999
You're the psychic.
1421
01:20:05,099 --> 01:20:07,098
Eve the psychic pimp.
1422
01:20:07,200 --> 01:20:08,499
You tell me.
1423
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:10,400
Those sluts.
1424
01:20:11,599 --> 01:20:13,598
Then again, who isn't a slut
these days, huh?
1425
01:20:15,899 --> 01:20:16,998
Where are you going?
1426
01:20:17,099 --> 01:20:19,398
-To bed.
-To bed?
1427
01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:21,199
Sure. To bed.
1428
01:20:21,200 --> 01:20:23,100
I'm not the one
that's in love with the guy.
1429
01:20:24,100 --> 01:20:25,199
What?!
1430
01:20:26,199 --> 01:20:27,500
Now hold on!
1431
01:20:27,500 --> 01:20:29,497
Hold on just a minute.
1432
01:20:29,498 --> 01:20:30,999
In the first place...
1433
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,999
I do not fall in love
with weirdoes...
1434
01:20:33,099 --> 01:20:35,098
who I've only known
for four or five days.
1435
01:20:35,099 --> 01:20:36,299
Yes, you do.
1436
01:20:36,399 --> 01:20:37,999
And I don't fall in love
with grown men...
1437
01:20:38,100 --> 01:20:39,500
who collect baseball cards!
1438
01:20:39,501 --> 01:20:40,599
Yes, you do.
1439
01:20:40,700 --> 01:20:43,200
Or pee in their pants
when they see the ocean.
1440
01:20:43,300 --> 01:20:44,399
Yes, you do.
1441
01:20:44,400 --> 01:20:46,200
Or have perfect table manners.
1442
01:20:46,300 --> 01:20:48,699
You know,
I asked him about that.
1443
01:20:48,799 --> 01:20:50,599
He said good manners...
1444
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:52,100
are just a way
of showing other people...
1445
01:20:52,100 --> 01:20:53,600
that we have respect for them.
1446
01:20:53,601 --> 01:20:56,898
I didn't know that. I thought
it was a way of acting superior.
1447
01:20:56,899 --> 01:20:58,399
Oh, and you know
what else he told me?
1448
01:20:58,498 --> 01:20:59,799
What?
1449
01:20:59,900 --> 01:21:02,599
He thinks I'm a gentleman,
and you're a lady.
1450
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:08,100
Well, consider the source.
1451
01:21:08,899 --> 01:21:10,699
I don't even know
what a lady is.
1452
01:21:10,700 --> 01:21:13,699
I know. I thought a gentleman
was somebody that owned horses.
1453
01:21:13,700 --> 01:21:15,200
But it turns out...
1454
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:17,700
the short, simple definition
of a lady or a gentleman...
1455
01:21:17,701 --> 01:21:19,498
is someone who always tries
to make sure...
1456
01:21:19,599 --> 01:21:21,199
that the people
around him or her...
1457
01:21:21,299 --> 01:21:23,298
are as comfortable as possible.
1458
01:21:24,599 --> 01:21:26,598
Where do you think
he got all that information?
1459
01:21:26,799 --> 01:21:28,497
Oh, from the oddest place.
1460
01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:30,400
His parents.
1461
01:21:30,401 --> 01:21:32,899
I don't think
I got that memo from mine.
1462
01:21:32,900 --> 01:21:36,199
And now, I suppose, he's trying
to make those dancers...
1463
01:21:36,199 --> 01:21:38,699
feel as comfortable as possible.
1464
01:21:40,199 --> 01:21:41,699
He didn't go home with them.
1465
01:21:46,599 --> 01:21:48,399
Well...
1466
01:21:48,501 --> 01:21:49,899
He went home with Sophie.
1467
01:21:50,001 --> 01:21:53,899
-Aaahh, no!
-Yep.
1468
01:21:55,700 --> 01:21:57,200
She swept him out of the room...
1469
01:21:57,300 --> 01:21:59,599
whispering little French
sweet-nothings into his ear.
1470
01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:02,100
No, not Sophie. Not Sophie.
Don't tell me that.
1471
01:22:02,100 --> 01:22:04,600
So whatcha gonna do, go to
her place and kick the door in?
1472
01:22:05,500 --> 01:22:07,399
You're goddamn right I am.
1473
01:22:09,199 --> 01:22:10,498
You coming?
1474
01:22:10,498 --> 01:22:12,497
You kidding? Sophie'd kill me.
1475
01:22:13,999 --> 01:22:15,098
Coward.
1476
01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:17,700
Gentleman coward.
1477
01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:23,700
Eve!*
1478
01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:39,200
So just scare me, why don't you,
you stupid son of a bitch!
1479
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:40,800
I'm really sorry.
1480
01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:42,000
What are you doing here?
1481
01:22:42,001 --> 01:22:43,998
You're supposed to be
on San Vicente Boulevard...
1482
01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:47,700
having unsafe sex
with that slut Sophie.
1483
01:22:47,700 --> 01:22:49,699
I know, and I'm really sorry.
1484
01:22:49,900 --> 01:22:51,200
I'm limping!
1485
01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,700
How attractive is that?!
1486
01:22:52,799 --> 01:22:54,399
What if this is for life?
1487
01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:56,009
Adam.*
1488
01:22:56,399 --> 01:22:58,398
-I was just gonna say...
-I know.
1489
01:22:58,499 --> 01:23:00,899
-And then she...
-I know, I know.
1490
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:02,999
-And I didn't mean to scare her.
-Of course you didn't.
1491
01:23:03,099 --> 01:23:05,699
Nothing I do with her
ever seems to be right.
1492
01:23:05,699 --> 01:23:07,199
Used to be right up here
with the coffee.
1493
01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:08,400
Why don't people
ever fucking...
1494
01:23:08,401 --> 01:23:09,999
That's because...
1495
01:23:09,999 --> 01:23:11,698
you're a nice boy...
1496
01:23:11,699 --> 01:23:14,299
but what Eve needs
is a nice man.
1497
01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:16,200
Understand, champ?
1498
01:23:16,201 --> 01:23:17,399
Good night.
1499
01:23:18,498 --> 01:23:19,699
Good night, Troy.
1500
01:23:20,900 --> 01:23:21,999
You still here?
1501
01:23:22,099 --> 01:23:24,098
-Let me help you.
-No. I can do it myself.
1502
01:23:24,299 --> 01:23:26,298
I know more about first aid than
you know about baseball cards.
1503
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,300
Now give me the stuff
and sit down.
1504
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:30,399
Sit!
1505
01:23:31,900 --> 01:23:33,400
Let me see.
1506
01:23:33,401 --> 01:23:34,599
Give me your knee.
1507
01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:38,199
These pants are ruined, right?
1508
01:23:38,200 --> 01:23:39,400
I'd say so.
1509
01:23:39,400 --> 01:23:40,600
There.
1510
01:23:46,699 --> 01:23:48,199
Steady.
1511
01:23:48,200 --> 01:23:49,400
Ouch!
1512
01:23:49,401 --> 01:23:50,699
There.
1513
01:23:50,699 --> 01:23:51,899
Don't be such a baby.
1514
01:23:51,900 --> 01:23:53,899
Oh, I'm the baby?
1515
01:24:03,699 --> 01:24:05,199
Did, um...
1516
01:24:06,999 --> 01:24:08,998
Did you go to Sophie's?
1517
01:24:10,300 --> 01:24:11,800
Of course.
1518
01:24:13,199 --> 01:24:14,399
And?
1519
01:24:15,699 --> 01:24:16,999
She was hospitable.
1520
01:24:16,999 --> 01:24:18,498
Hospitable?
1521
01:24:24,199 --> 01:24:25,999
But...
1522
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:27,999
it just wasn't
where I wanted to be...
1523
01:24:28,300 --> 01:24:30,200
so...
1524
01:24:30,200 --> 01:24:32,498
I left as politely
as I could...
1525
01:24:32,599 --> 01:24:34,500
and I found a taxi...
1526
01:24:34,599 --> 01:24:36,199
and I told the driver
to bring me here...
1527
01:24:36,199 --> 01:24:38,198
instead of back to the hotel.
1528
01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:45,199
There's a song
that Mr. Como sings...
1529
01:24:45,200 --> 01:24:47,000
called
"On the Street Where You Live."
1530
01:24:47,100 --> 01:24:48,300
Do you know it?
1531
01:24:49,700 --> 01:24:51,600
Sing it to me.
1532
01:24:57,099 --> 01:24:58,899
♪ I have often walked
1533
01:24:58,900 --> 01:25:00,499
♪ Down this street before
1534
01:25:01,599 --> 01:25:03,598
♪ But the pavement always stayed
1535
01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:05,598
♪ Beneath my feet before
1536
01:25:06,700 --> 01:25:08,699
♪ All at once am I
1537
01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:12,299
♪ Several stories high
1538
01:25:12,300 --> 01:25:15,200
♪ Knowing I'm on the street
1539
01:25:15,200 --> 01:25:17,000
♪ Where you live
1540
01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:20,999
It's a song
about a young man...
1541
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:24,100
who's overjoyed...
1542
01:25:25,900 --> 01:25:28,299
just to be standing
in front of the house...
1543
01:25:29,299 --> 01:25:30,899
of the person...
1544
01:25:32,498 --> 01:25:33,999
that he loves.
1545
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:51,200
Adam, you know, I..
1546
01:25:59,700 --> 01:26:02,399
Adam, I know this is stupid...
1547
01:26:03,500 --> 01:26:05,299
but humor me.
1548
01:26:08,999 --> 01:26:10,998
Have you ever had sex before?
1549
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:15,399
No...
1550
01:26:17,199 --> 01:26:19,898
How is that possible?
1551
01:26:20,799 --> 01:26:22,798
You better sit back down.
1552
01:26:26,599 --> 01:26:29,598
In 1962, when the bomb
was dropped on Los Angeles...
1553
01:26:29,599 --> 01:26:32,199
my parents
were in our fallout shelter.
1554
01:26:32,199 --> 01:26:33,598
That's where I was born.
1555
01:26:34,900 --> 01:26:37,700
We only survived because
it's a huge shelter...
1556
01:26:37,701 --> 01:26:39,698
as far as fallout shelters go.
1557
01:26:40,700 --> 01:26:43,999
My father worked on it secretly
for years.
1558
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:45,099
When he had to...
1559
01:26:45,199 --> 01:26:46,699
he used contractors...
1560
01:26:46,699 --> 01:26:48,199
but always from out of state...
1561
01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:50,000
and always for only
a portion of the job.
1562
01:26:50,099 --> 01:26:52,699
He told them it was a secret
government experiment...
1563
01:26:52,699 --> 01:26:54,098
done through Cal Tech.
1564
01:26:54,199 --> 01:26:55,699
Now, my dad's not a liar...
1565
01:26:55,700 --> 01:26:58,699
but in this case,
he felt he had no choice.
1566
01:26:58,700 --> 01:27:00,699
Of course,
it had to be kept a secret.
1567
01:27:00,900 --> 01:27:02,100
We only had enough supplies...
1568
01:27:02,101 --> 01:27:04,899
to last three people
for thirty-five years.
1569
01:27:04,900 --> 01:27:07,599
The really tricky part
was the air-vent system...
1570
01:27:07,700 --> 01:27:10,099
but we were able to cut into
the flood-control sewer.
1571
01:27:10,100 --> 01:27:12,099
We...
1572
01:27:14,100 --> 01:27:15,099
Eve...
1573
01:27:16,900 --> 01:27:18,800
What I would like to do...
1574
01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:21,599
is to take you with me
into the fallout shelter.
1575
01:27:22,599 --> 01:27:24,500
We could live there
with my mom and dad.
1576
01:27:25,700 --> 01:27:28,200
My dad said that if I found
a healthy young girl...
1577
01:27:28,200 --> 01:27:31,199
that...that I should
bring her on down.
1578
01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:32,800
Why, Eve...
1579
01:27:34,800 --> 01:27:37,498
you look plenty healthy to me.
1580
01:27:39,800 --> 01:27:40,498
Adam.*
1581
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:42,498
Yes, Eve.*
1582
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:49,199
I think it's time to call a cab.
1583
01:27:51,199 --> 01:27:53,799
Oh. Of course.
You're absolutely right.
1584
01:27:53,899 --> 01:27:56,298
I really shouldn't be over here
at this late hour.
1585
01:28:05,299 --> 01:28:06,799
Good night, Adam.
1586
01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:14,501
Thank you.
1587
01:28:32,700 --> 01:28:34,200
God damn, Adam !
1588
01:28:34,199 --> 01:28:35,500
Wait a minute.
1589
01:28:37,199 --> 01:28:39,198
Oh, look, I'm sorry.
1590
01:28:39,399 --> 01:28:42,199
I know. I took the Lord's
name in vain again. I--
1591
01:28:42,200 --> 01:28:45,000
No. There's an adult bookstore
back there.
1592
01:28:45,001 --> 01:28:46,698
I'll be right back.
1593
01:29:00,800 --> 01:29:02,100
Give us a sign!
1594
01:29:02,100 --> 01:29:03,199
-Amen!
-Yes!
1595
01:29:03,199 --> 01:29:04,598
That's all we ask.
1596
01:29:04,700 --> 01:29:07,800
Just give us some sort of sign!
1597
01:29:08,501 --> 01:29:11,400
Just show us
that we're not alone!
1598
01:29:36,001 --> 01:29:37,400
Hi, Eve!*
1599
01:29:38,000 --> 01:29:40,500
Hi, Adam, this is, uh...
1600
01:29:40,599 --> 01:29:41,899
Hi, Adam. I'm Nina Aron.
1601
01:29:42,899 --> 01:29:44,898
-Hello. How do you do?
-Very well, thank you.
1602
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:47,600
I'm with the County
Family Services Department.
1603
01:29:47,600 --> 01:29:51,299
Eve tells me you've been
living in a bomb shelter...
1604
01:29:51,299 --> 01:29:52,500
most of your life.
1605
01:29:53,899 --> 01:29:55,099
Fallout shelter.
1606
01:29:55,100 --> 01:29:57,099
There is a difference.
1607
01:29:57,300 --> 01:30:00,699
Adam, I'd like to introduce you
to my associate Mr. Brown.
1608
01:30:00,990 --> 01:30:01,999
Hello.*
1609
01:30:05,100 --> 01:30:06,900
We want you to come with us...
1610
01:30:06,901 --> 01:30:08,898
so we can talk some more
about your experiences.
1611
01:30:09,100 --> 01:30:10,199
Come where?
1612
01:30:10,300 --> 01:30:11,999
My office.
1613
01:30:12,099 --> 01:30:13,198
For how long?
1614
01:30:14,300 --> 01:30:16,100
Well, that depends.
1615
01:30:16,101 --> 01:30:18,497
Well, I thank you very much
for the invitation...
1616
01:30:18,599 --> 01:30:20,199
but I'm very busy today.
1617
01:30:20,200 --> 01:30:21,499
Perhaps
I could see you tomorrow.
1618
01:30:21,499 --> 01:30:24,600
I think you should go
with Dr. Aron.
1619
01:30:25,700 --> 01:30:27,300
I think it's the best thing.
1620
01:30:28,699 --> 01:30:31,398
I think it's best for you.
I--I do.
1621
01:30:37,100 --> 01:30:38,799
Alright, Eve. If you say so.
1622
01:30:40,300 --> 01:30:41,399
I do.
1623
01:30:44,300 --> 01:30:46,200
Could I please just go home?
1624
01:30:46,299 --> 01:30:48,698
I was lost,
but I found home this morning.
1625
01:30:48,800 --> 01:30:51,099
And if I can just go home...
1626
01:30:51,100 --> 01:30:53,099
I promise I'll never bother
any of you ever again.
1627
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:56,800
Adam, let's go talk first.
1628
01:31:00,999 --> 01:31:01,998
Yes Ma'am.
1629
01:31:05,498 --> 01:31:06,497
Bye Adam.
1630
01:31:09,300 --> 01:31:10,299
Bye Troy.
1631
01:31:17,700 --> 01:31:19,200
You'll be hearing from me.
1632
01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:25,499
What?!
1633
01:31:25,600 --> 01:31:27,200
What was I supposed to do?
1634
01:31:27,200 --> 01:31:29,199
He told me he wanted
to take me underground.
1635
01:31:29,200 --> 01:31:30,599
That's like
"Silence of the Lambs."
1636
01:31:30,599 --> 01:31:32,099
It's crazy!
1637
01:31:33,199 --> 01:31:35,699
Yeah. You did the right thing.
1638
01:31:41,699 --> 01:31:43,098
Where you going?
1639
01:31:44,599 --> 01:31:46,099
Oh, my God.
1640
01:31:46,100 --> 01:31:48,399
Alright, don't worry.
He'll catch him.
1641
01:31:48,400 --> 01:31:50,000
Yes, this is Nina Aron.
1642
01:31:50,000 --> 01:31:52,501
I've got a runaway, and I'm
going to need police assistance.
1643
01:31:52,502 --> 01:31:55,497
-No, you cannot call them.
-Honey, I have to.
1644
01:31:55,499 --> 01:31:57,899
If a complaint is made
and the person resists--
1645
01:31:57,899 --> 01:31:59,298
No! I cannot have that!
1646
01:31:59,400 --> 01:32:03,200
They'll come with their cars
and their guns and--
1647
01:32:03,201 --> 01:32:04,298
Alright. Calm down.
1648
01:32:04,300 --> 01:32:05,699
Now, that young man
needs help...
1649
01:32:05,699 --> 01:32:07,398
and you need protection
from him.
1650
01:32:07,399 --> 01:32:08,699
I was frightened!
1651
01:32:08,699 --> 01:32:11,799
I didn't know what to think,
but, you know...
1652
01:32:11,899 --> 01:32:13,298
I believe him.
1653
01:32:13,400 --> 01:32:14,799
I think he just--
1654
01:32:14,899 --> 01:32:17,598
I really think
he wants to go home--
1655
01:32:17,700 --> 01:32:19,099
wherever that might be.
1656
01:32:19,099 --> 01:32:20,699
Everybody has to calm down.
1657
01:32:20,699 --> 01:32:22,199
That's the most important thing.
1658
01:32:23,699 --> 01:32:25,199
You can have
all my baseball cards...
1659
01:32:25,200 --> 01:32:26,400
and don't forget
to pay my bills.
1660
01:32:26,400 --> 01:32:28,099
Young man, you stop right there!
1661
01:32:28,100 --> 01:32:30,498
Stop! Don't get in that truck!
1662
01:32:31,700 --> 01:32:33,000
You gotta stop trying
to drive this truck.
1663
01:32:34,499 --> 01:32:36,100
Thanks for always being happy.
1664
01:32:36,101 --> 01:32:38,098
-What?
-Gay.
1665
01:32:43,199 --> 01:32:45,999
That's my car,
you son of a bitch!
1666
01:32:46,700 --> 01:32:48,200
Where the hell have you been?
1667
01:32:48,200 --> 01:32:49,400
I fell down.
1668
01:32:49,401 --> 01:32:51,398
You guys get the license
number, on that truck?
1669
01:32:51,399 --> 01:32:54,498
What are you asking them for?
They're as screwed up as he is!
1670
01:32:54,599 --> 01:32:56,898
Hey, everybody keep calm.
That's the important thing.
1671
01:32:56,899 --> 01:32:58,699
Who you talking to,
you stupid...
1672
01:33:09,500 --> 01:33:10,898
Mom, Dad...
1673
01:33:11,899 --> 01:33:13,399
I'm home.
1674
01:33:16,899 --> 01:33:17,399
Oh, Adam!*
1675
01:33:20,501 --> 01:33:22,799
I've got almost everything
we need.
1676
01:33:22,899 --> 01:33:24,399
And this nice man...
1677
01:33:24,400 --> 01:33:25,900
Archbishop Melker.
1678
01:33:25,901 --> 01:33:27,399
We've met previously.
1679
01:33:27,399 --> 01:33:28,899
...and his church group
1680
01:33:28,900 --> 01:33:30,299
have volunteered
to help bring it down...
1681
01:33:30,399 --> 01:33:31,798
but we've gotta hurry.
1682
01:33:31,900 --> 01:33:33,501
Are you in trouble, son?
1683
01:33:33,599 --> 01:33:35,498
I think I'm being chased
by a psychiatrist.
1684
01:33:35,599 --> 01:33:36,998
A psychiatrist?
1685
01:33:37,100 --> 01:33:38,199
It happens.
1686
01:33:38,199 --> 01:33:39,699
Oh, my goodness.
1687
01:33:39,700 --> 01:33:41,699
How bad is it up there?
1688
01:33:42,000 --> 01:33:43,999
Horrible.
1689
01:33:45,600 --> 01:33:47,899
There's something
on your forehead.
1690
01:33:48,899 --> 01:33:50,199
I know.
1691
01:34:27,499 --> 01:34:28,599
Is this it?
1692
01:34:32,700 --> 01:34:35,499
Well, what are we gonna do
with it?
1693
01:34:35,600 --> 01:34:36,999
Give it back to him.
1694
01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:38,699
And what if we can't find him?
1695
01:34:38,699 --> 01:34:40,199
We'll find him.
1696
01:34:40,200 --> 01:34:41,400
Well...
1697
01:35:05,000 --> 01:35:07,900
Eve, look what I found
in the suitcase.
1698
01:35:07,901 --> 01:35:09,400
It's stock certificates.
1699
01:35:09,401 --> 01:35:10,999
I mean, it's got, like--
1700
01:35:10,999 --> 01:35:14,799
It's got, like,
IBM and AT&T and Polaroid and...
1701
01:35:14,899 --> 01:35:16,699
"Ipana"?
1702
01:35:16,700 --> 01:35:18,699
I remember this brand.
1703
01:35:18,700 --> 01:35:20,699
I didn't know
they still made this.
1704
01:35:23,499 --> 01:35:25,799
Oh. Look at this.
1705
01:35:25,899 --> 01:35:28,399
It says "Trademark 1961."
1706
01:35:32,799 --> 01:35:35,198
Hurry, my friends!
We have no time to waste!
1707
01:35:35,200 --> 01:35:36,599
The son has spoken!
1708
01:35:36,600 --> 01:35:38,100
Let's step it up!
1709
01:35:38,100 --> 01:35:42,200
Leave my elevator alone
1710
01:35:42,201 --> 01:35:44,999
We're losing a ride!
1711
01:35:45,000 --> 01:35:46,999
Purchased in 1958 and '59...
1712
01:35:47,300 --> 01:35:49,599
ten thousand shares of each?
1713
01:35:49,699 --> 01:35:51,098
They'd be worth millions.
1714
01:35:51,100 --> 01:35:52,199
Hell, I don't know.
1715
01:35:52,299 --> 01:35:54,199
Millions upon millions...
1716
01:35:54,199 --> 01:35:55,598
Upon millions.
1717
01:35:56,599 --> 01:35:58,199
The stocks,
the baseball cards...
1718
01:35:58,199 --> 01:35:59,898
the clothes...
1719
01:35:59,900 --> 01:36:01,599
the toothpaste.
1720
01:36:02,699 --> 01:36:03,999
The guy's on the level.
1721
01:36:06,699 --> 01:36:09,098
Eve,
a man walks into your life...
1722
01:36:09,199 --> 01:36:11,198
who's the kindest,
most polite...
1723
01:36:11,199 --> 01:36:13,198
most incredibly rich guy
you've ever met.
1724
01:36:13,399 --> 01:36:14,999
And I have him committed.
1725
01:36:17,200 --> 01:36:18,700
Yes, you did.
1726
01:36:21,999 --> 01:36:23,799
Well...
1727
01:36:23,800 --> 01:36:25,799
at least I fell for him
before I found out he was rich.
1728
01:36:26,000 --> 01:36:27,200
That's new.
1729
01:36:29,900 --> 01:36:32,299
He said today
he knew where home was.
1730
01:36:32,399 --> 01:36:33,999
Where'd you guys go
this morning?
1731
01:36:35,200 --> 01:36:37,700
Just to pick up frozen poultry.
1732
01:36:37,700 --> 01:36:38,799
Then?
1733
01:36:38,899 --> 01:36:40,699
Then back to the house.
1734
01:36:40,700 --> 01:36:42,200
You didn't stop anywhere?
1735
01:36:45,200 --> 01:36:47,199
We did.
We stopped at a porn shop.
1736
01:36:48,400 --> 01:36:49,700
Yeah, we stopped
at this adult bookstore.
1737
01:36:49,800 --> 01:36:52,199
Adam was very excited to see it.
1738
01:36:52,199 --> 01:36:54,198
Adam was very excited
to see porn?
1739
01:36:55,199 --> 01:36:56,198
Yes.*
1740
01:36:56,600 --> 01:36:59,999
Eve, do you think, maybe
his home is underneath...
1741
01:37:00,099 --> 01:37:01,798
a dirty book store
in the valley?
1742
01:37:07,700 --> 01:37:08,799
This is it?
1743
01:37:08,799 --> 01:37:10,699
Yeah. Yeah, this is the place.
1744
01:37:36,199 --> 01:37:38,198
Do you have a basement?
1745
01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:42,500
Believe me, all the really
good stuff is right up front.
1746
01:37:44,400 --> 01:37:46,200
Is there a back entrance
or something?
1747
01:37:46,201 --> 01:37:48,198
Are you kidding? Of course.
1748
01:37:48,300 --> 01:37:50,200
Nice kid. Nice kid.
1749
01:37:53,300 --> 01:37:56,200
What are we looking for?
This is ridiculous.
1750
01:37:56,200 --> 01:37:59,199
Why would they put a fallout
shelter under a porn shop?
1751
01:37:59,199 --> 01:38:00,598
None of this was here
back in '62.
1752
01:38:00,700 --> 01:38:03,200
Back then this was all,
like, cute little homes...
1753
01:38:03,201 --> 01:38:06,099
and, you know, fruit orchards.
1754
01:38:06,200 --> 01:38:08,199
We've come a long way,
haven't we?
1755
01:38:10,200 --> 01:38:11,800
I wanna go home.
1756
01:38:11,800 --> 01:38:13,799
Yeah. Maybe he'll call, huh?
1757
01:38:14,800 --> 01:38:15,999
Eve?...*
1758
01:38:17,199 --> 01:38:18,699
This is Adam.
1759
01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:23,100
Look, I just wanted to thank you
for everything you did for me.
1760
01:38:23,200 --> 01:38:24,700
And...
1761
01:38:24,701 --> 01:38:26,398
I wanted to tell you that l...
1762
01:38:27,700 --> 01:38:29,200
that, uh...
1763
01:38:29,201 --> 01:38:32,497
that I--that I wish
so many good things for you.
1764
01:38:32,498 --> 01:38:36,198
I wish so hard that
all of your dreams come true.
1765
01:38:36,200 --> 01:38:37,700
And...
1766
01:38:37,701 --> 01:38:40,199
and that--
and that's all I...
1767
01:38:40,200 --> 01:38:41,699
And that's all.
1768
01:39:06,800 --> 01:39:09,300
Your ride stinks!
1769
01:39:13,700 --> 01:39:15,499
Stay outta here, you drunk!
1770
01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:43,900
Adam..?
1771
01:40:21,700 --> 01:40:23,699
How long you gonna set it for
this time?
1772
01:40:23,700 --> 01:40:25,600
I thought ten years.
1773
01:40:26,699 --> 01:40:28,199
Well, it's...
1774
01:40:28,200 --> 01:40:31,199
considerably shorter
than before, but...
1775
01:40:32,199 --> 01:40:34,699
I was wondering, Calvin,
I mean...
1776
01:40:34,700 --> 01:40:36,200
why set the locks at all?
1777
01:40:36,300 --> 01:40:37,999
I mean, the radiation's gone.
1778
01:40:38,099 --> 01:40:40,599
To keep what's up there
from getting down here.
1779
01:40:40,600 --> 01:40:43,100
It's not radiation
I'm worried about.
1780
01:40:44,600 --> 01:40:45,800
Mom, dad.*
1781
01:40:55,699 --> 01:40:57,098
I would like for you to meet...
1782
01:40:57,100 --> 01:40:58,900
Miss Eve Vrustikov.
1783
01:41:00,100 --> 01:41:02,500
-Mrs. Webber.
-Hello.
1784
01:41:02,600 --> 01:41:03,900
-Mr. Webber.
-Hello.
1785
01:41:04,000 --> 01:41:06,800
Adam's told me
such wonderful things about you.
1786
01:41:06,801 --> 01:41:08,497
Oh, honey...
1787
01:41:08,499 --> 01:41:10,199
excuse us, please.
1788
01:41:10,200 --> 01:41:12,199
We haven't entertained
a guest...
1789
01:41:12,200 --> 01:41:13,700
In quite some time.
1790
01:41:13,700 --> 01:41:16,800
Oh, Eve, what--
what can I offer you?
1791
01:41:16,899 --> 01:41:18,598
Mom, Eve and I have to go.
1792
01:41:18,600 --> 01:41:20,299
Oh, Adam, you just got here.
1793
01:41:20,300 --> 01:41:21,800
I can't explain right now...
1794
01:41:21,801 --> 01:41:23,798
but I want you to set the locks
for two months.
1795
01:41:23,800 --> 01:41:25,498
You've got more than enough
of everything...
1796
01:41:25,599 --> 01:41:27,500
and then we'll be right back
to get you.
1797
01:41:27,599 --> 01:41:29,099
But I don't understand.
1798
01:41:29,199 --> 01:41:31,099
And I'm asking you
to trust me...
1799
01:41:31,199 --> 01:41:32,498
without understanding why.
1800
01:41:32,498 --> 01:41:34,198
In that case, of course.
1801
01:41:34,200 --> 01:41:36,199
Oh, of course, son.
1802
01:41:36,200 --> 01:41:38,700
They really are
wonderful parents.
1803
01:41:40,100 --> 01:41:43,200
Oh, Adam, could you at least
stay for dinner?
1804
01:41:43,300 --> 01:41:44,900
Well...she...
1805
01:41:45,000 --> 01:41:46,099
You must.
1806
01:41:48,600 --> 01:41:50,200
Perfect.
1807
01:41:50,299 --> 01:41:52,298
Now tell me
if you heard this one.
1808
01:41:52,501 --> 01:41:54,498
Duck walks into a drugstore...
1809
01:41:54,700 --> 01:41:56,699
This gravy is an old
favorite of Calvin's.
1810
01:41:56,899 --> 01:42:00,099
Now, Eve,
the platter's down here.
1811
01:42:00,099 --> 01:42:01,999
Would you get that, honey?
1812
01:42:02,099 --> 01:42:05,199
The sperm swims toward the egg.
1813
01:42:05,299 --> 01:42:06,199
Ppp!
1814
01:42:06,200 --> 01:42:07,299
Into the egg.
1815
01:42:07,400 --> 01:42:09,699
-Why?
-Because it must.
1816
01:42:09,700 --> 01:42:11,000
But why?
1817
01:42:11,000 --> 01:42:13,699
Because it's out there.
1818
01:42:15,000 --> 01:42:18,499
I don't mean to be nosy,
but are you and Adam dating?
1819
01:42:18,600 --> 01:42:19,999
Yeah, we are.
1820
01:42:22,199 --> 01:42:24,198
And I'm from Pasadena.
1821
01:42:28,699 --> 01:42:31,199
And you thought
your parents were weird.
1822
01:42:33,399 --> 01:42:35,299
It's truly amazing
what you can get done...
1823
01:42:35,400 --> 01:42:36,700
when you have unlimited funds.
1824
01:42:36,700 --> 01:42:39,399
Do you know you can have
whole houses built...
1825
01:42:39,400 --> 01:42:41,399
in just a matter of months?
1826
01:42:41,399 --> 01:42:43,698
It's like the Garden of Eden,
don't you think?
1827
01:42:43,699 --> 01:42:45,299
All you have to say is this:
1828
01:42:45,399 --> 01:42:46,899
"I don't care what it costs."
1829
01:42:46,900 --> 01:42:48,100
And then, of course,
you've got to really mean it
1830
01:42:48,100 --> 01:42:49,799
which no one ever does.
1831
01:42:50,700 --> 01:42:53,200
It took a while to convince
Archbishop Melker...
1832
01:42:53,300 --> 01:42:54,699
that Adam wasn't God...
1833
01:42:54,799 --> 01:42:57,098
and he was pretty broken up
about it, too...
1834
01:42:57,099 --> 01:42:58,599
until I showed him my plans...
1835
01:42:58,699 --> 01:43:01,199
for Los Angeles' hottest
and most original night spot.
1836
01:43:01,200 --> 01:43:02,700
It's my goddamned malt shop.
1837
01:43:02,800 --> 01:43:05,199
Now let's just figure out
what's gonna happen here.
1838
01:43:05,199 --> 01:43:07,198
Now I want
the whole ownership...
1839
01:43:07,199 --> 01:43:09,198
of everything downstairs, right?
1840
01:43:09,199 --> 01:43:11,799
I want one of my guys
at the door.
1841
01:43:14,699 --> 01:43:16,698
Our idea was to bring
Adam's parents...
1842
01:43:16,800 --> 01:43:19,498
up to the surface very slowly...
1843
01:43:19,498 --> 01:43:20,999
make them very comfortable...
1844
01:43:21,000 --> 01:43:22,999
and then break
the bad news to them...
1845
01:43:23,099 --> 01:43:25,497
that there was
no nuclear holocaust.
1846
01:43:53,900 --> 01:43:55,899
Oh, son.
1847
01:44:01,300 --> 01:44:03,800
And here you go. Oh, careful.
1848
01:44:10,999 --> 01:44:12,799
It's hot.
1849
01:44:12,899 --> 01:44:14,898
Careful.
1850
01:44:17,498 --> 01:44:19,497
Have you ever in your life...
1851
01:44:19,699 --> 01:44:22,199
seen a son who did more
for his parents?
1852
01:44:23,200 --> 01:44:25,199
This is beautiful.
1853
01:44:26,700 --> 01:44:29,200
It's absolutely beautiful.
1854
01:44:29,201 --> 01:44:31,497
Well, uh...
1855
01:44:31,600 --> 01:44:33,501
we seem to have everything...
1856
01:44:33,600 --> 01:44:35,400
but, you know...
1857
01:44:36,600 --> 01:44:38,501
it's not much different...
1858
01:44:38,599 --> 01:44:39,998
from a fallout shelter.
1859
01:44:41,299 --> 01:44:42,799
No, Calvin.
1860
01:44:42,800 --> 01:44:44,000
This is different.
1861
01:44:44,100 --> 01:44:45,600
Believe me.
1862
01:44:49,200 --> 01:44:51,700
This is great...
1863
01:44:51,701 --> 01:44:53,199
son.
1864
01:44:55,899 --> 01:44:57,199
By the way...
1865
01:44:58,700 --> 01:45:00,699
Eve. Her last name.
1866
01:45:00,700 --> 01:45:02,200
Vrustikov.
1867
01:45:02,200 --> 01:45:03,800
That's not Russian, is it?
1868
01:45:03,900 --> 01:45:05,299
No, it's Ukrainian.
1869
01:45:05,399 --> 01:45:07,999
Her grandparents immigrated.
1870
01:45:11,300 --> 01:45:12,699
Dad, I don't know
how to tell you this...
1871
01:45:12,700 --> 01:45:16,299
and I was gonna wait
for a while to do it, but...
1872
01:45:18,900 --> 01:45:20,700
Dad, there was no bomb.
1873
01:45:20,701 --> 01:45:22,698
A plane crashed
in our backyard.
1874
01:45:22,899 --> 01:45:25,198
I looked it up
in old newspapers.
1875
01:45:26,199 --> 01:45:28,699
-You sure?
-Positive.
1876
01:45:28,699 --> 01:45:31,698
The Soviet Union collapsed
without a shot being fired.
1877
01:45:31,699 --> 01:45:33,398
The cold war's over.
1878
01:45:36,899 --> 01:45:39,799
That's what everyone believes.
1879
01:45:39,799 --> 01:45:41,299
Oh, yes, sir.
1880
01:45:41,300 --> 01:45:43,299
Mm-hmm. It's true.
1881
01:45:44,399 --> 01:45:46,899
What, the politburo...
1882
01:45:46,900 --> 01:45:48,100
one day said...
1883
01:45:49,200 --> 01:45:50,599
"we give up"?
1884
01:45:52,498 --> 01:45:53,999
Yes, just...
1885
01:45:54,099 --> 01:45:55,599
That's kinda how it went.
1886
01:45:55,600 --> 01:45:57,100
By gosh!
1887
01:45:57,101 --> 01:45:58,999
These commies are brilliant.
1888
01:45:59,099 --> 01:46:00,999
You have to hand it to them.
1889
01:46:01,100 --> 01:46:03,600
No, we didn't drop any bombs.
1890
01:46:03,700 --> 01:46:08,100
Oh, yeah. Our evil empire
has collapsed. Poor us.
1891
01:46:08,199 --> 01:46:09,999
I'll bet...
1892
01:46:10,000 --> 01:46:12,499
they even asked the West
for aid.
1893
01:46:12,499 --> 01:46:14,000
Right?
1894
01:46:14,001 --> 01:46:16,698
Um, I think they did.
1895
01:46:16,699 --> 01:46:17,899
Oh, boys.
1896
01:46:17,899 --> 01:46:19,898
Dinnertime!
1897
01:46:19,899 --> 01:46:21,399
Pot roast.
1898
01:46:26,501 --> 01:46:28,000
I tell ya.
1899
01:46:30,200 --> 01:46:31,800
Funny guy.
1900
01:46:32,800 --> 01:46:34,799
-Don't tell your mother.
-No.
1901
01:46:36,199 --> 01:46:39,198
Adam says that this is
simply how things work.
1902
01:46:39,200 --> 01:46:41,700
First the parents
take care of the children...
1903
01:46:41,701 --> 01:46:44,698
and then the children
take care of the parents.
1904
01:46:44,699 --> 01:46:47,799
He says, historically,
that's how it works.
1905
01:46:47,899 --> 01:46:49,898
Damn commies.
1906
01:46:53,799 --> 01:46:55,099
Whenever Adam gives me...
1907
01:46:55,099 --> 01:46:57,699
such obviously
incorrect information...
1908
01:46:57,699 --> 01:47:01,500
I just smile,
slap him on the knee...
1909
01:47:01,500 --> 01:47:02,699
and look out the window.
1910
01:47:03,498 --> 01:47:05,798
Why spoil his dreams?
1911
01:47:05,799 --> 01:47:08,198
They're such wonderful dreams.
1912
01:47:08,299 --> 01:47:13,198
♪ No one likes us, I don't know why
[Political Science - Randy Newman]
1913
01:47:13,299 --> 01:47:17,198
♪ We may not be perfect
but heaven knows we try
1914
01:47:18,809 --> 01:47:23,198
♪ But all around, even our
old friends put us down
1915
01:47:23,800 --> 01:47:28,198
♪ Let's drop the big one
and see what happens
1916
01:47:28,900 --> 01:47:33,198
♪ Asia's crowded
and Europe's too old
1917
01:47:33,609 --> 01:47:38,098
♪ Africa is far too hot
and Canada's too cold
1918
01:47:38,439 --> 01:47:41,800
♪ And South America stole our name
1919
01:47:41,989 --> 01:47:46,898
♪ Let's drop the big one,
there'll be no one left to blame us
1920
01:47:48,099 --> 01:47:50,898
♪ We'll save Australia
1921
01:47:52,800 --> 01:47:55,298
♪ Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
1922
01:47:57,099 --> 01:48:01,798
♪ We'll build an All American
amusement park there
1923
01:48:01,809 --> 01:48:04,898
♪ They got surfin', too
1924
01:48:05,909 --> 01:48:09,898
♪ Boom goes London, boom Paree
1925
01:48:10,509 --> 01:48:14,398
♪ More room for you
and more room for me
1926
01:48:14,699 --> 01:48:18,898
♪ And every city the whole world round
1927
01:48:18,969 --> 01:48:22,798
♪ Will just be another American town
1928
01:48:22,859 --> 01:48:25,708
♪ Oh, how peaceful it'll be
1929
01:48:25,809 --> 01:48:27,800
♪ we'll set everybody free
1930
01:48:27,900 --> 01:48:32,668
♪ You'll wear a Japanese kimono
there'll be Italian shoes for me
1931
01:48:32,739 --> 01:48:35,608
♪ They all hate us anyhow,
1932
01:48:35,769 --> 01:48:38,508
♪ so let's drop the big one now
1932
01:48:38,739 --> 01:48:42,898
♪ Let's drop the big one now
1933
01:48:43,299 --> 01:48:48,198
Subtitles corrected resynced ♪♪by
AsifAkheirESL@teachers.org
Original GOPI SAHI