1
00:00:37,225 --> 00:00:39,599
(WAVES BREAKING)
2
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,716
(SEAGULLS CRYING)
3
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:53,633
Thank you.
4
00:01:00,642 --> 00:01:02,417
Hello.
5
00:01:03,016 --> 00:01:04,557
Hello.
6
00:01:04,558 --> 00:01:06,754
I'll have the same.
7
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,216
Ah, weddings!
8
00:01:12,558 --> 00:01:14,474
Ah, weddings.
9
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,557
(♪ PERFORMS FREE'S)
("ONE TOGETHER IN THE MORNING")
10
00:01:16,558 --> 00:01:21,208
♪ There is no one else
can take your place ♪
11
00:01:21,350 --> 00:01:26,932
♪ Except 25-year-old
personal assistants ♪
12
00:01:26,933 --> 00:01:28,224
Natalie was after we split.
13
00:01:28,225 --> 00:01:29,599
Minutes.
14
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,682
But well done for trying.
15
00:01:31,683 --> 00:01:34,299
I heard the new one legged it.
16
00:01:34,809 --> 00:01:36,516
(CLEARS THROAT)
17
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:40,641
Michaela and I have
parted company, yes.
18
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:44,099
These young women, they just can't
make up their minds, can they?
19
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,546
No.
20
00:01:47,016 --> 00:01:50,057
You get me, Kate, though.
Or you used to.
21
00:01:50,058 --> 00:01:53,932
That's because I'm a trained
child psychologist.
22
00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:56,599
So, how's life for the nearly
retired corporate sellout?
23
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,349
Marvellous. I'm playing some
of the best golf of my life.
24
00:01:59,350 --> 00:02:00,307
What?
25
00:02:00,308 --> 00:02:02,932
- You're going to be so bored.
- I will not be bored.
26
00:02:02,933 --> 00:02:04,557
- Totally and utterly bored.
- Rubbish!
27
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,923
- Bored.
- Rubbish.
28
00:02:07,058 --> 00:02:10,349
- You look great, by the way.
- Oh, shut up.
29
00:02:10,350 --> 00:02:12,875
Damn it! Still handsome.
30
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,474
- OK, so he's here.
- Who?
31
00:02:15,475 --> 00:02:16,840
- Ken.
- Oh!
32
00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:18,932
Is that him?
33
00:02:18,933 --> 00:02:21,224
- He's got a nice body.
- Ken?
34
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:22,766
Pen's tennis coach.
35
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,057
It's time Kate fought
more aggressively.
36
00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:26,307
Get out there.
37
00:02:26,308 --> 00:02:27,432
I do get out there!
38
00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:31,833
Taking your laptop out into the
garden is not getting out there.
39
00:02:32,933 --> 00:02:34,807
(GIRL CRIES)
40
00:02:34,808 --> 00:02:37,848
Come on, you two!
Get back together.
41
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:40,390
- Come on, get back together.
- Not now, Jerry.
42
00:02:40,391 --> 00:02:43,182
- (JERRY) Well, we live in hope. Just imagine.
- Oh!
43
00:02:43,183 --> 00:02:44,973
- Oh, hello.
- Hi.
44
00:02:44,974 --> 00:02:47,265
You're Ken, aren't you? Hello.
45
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:49,474
Oh! Wh... whoosh!
46
00:02:49,475 --> 00:02:51,516
- Ah... flowers!
- Yeah, they're for you.
47
00:02:51,517 --> 00:02:54,224
Oh, thank you.
They're... they're lovely.
48
00:02:54,225 --> 00:02:58,046
- You're allergic.
- Only mildly.
49
00:02:58,974 --> 00:03:00,765
Why is Kate holding flowers
when she's allergic?
50
00:03:00,766 --> 00:03:01,848
Only mildly.
51
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,724
- I'm so sorry. I didn't know...
- No, no, no, it's fine.
52
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:07,349
It's not all flowers. Really, I like them.
I want them. I actually want them.
53
00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:09,557
Why has Kate got flowers?
She's allergic.
54
00:03:09,558 --> 00:03:12,807
- Only mildly.
- Don't!
55
00:03:12,808 --> 00:03:15,584
(♪ STATUS QUO: "WHATEVER YOU WANT")
56
00:03:16,308 --> 00:03:18,265
♪ Whatever you want
57
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,390
♪ Whatever you like
58
00:03:20,391 --> 00:03:24,182
♪ Whatever you say, you pay your
money, you take your choice
59
00:03:24,183 --> 00:03:26,182
♪ Whatever you need
60
00:03:26,183 --> 00:03:28,099
♪ Whatever you use
61
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,057
♪ Whatever you win
62
00:03:30,058 --> 00:03:32,015
♪ Whatever you lose
63
00:03:32,016 --> 00:03:33,973
♪ You're showing off
64
00:03:33,974 --> 00:03:36,015
♪ You're showing out
65
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:39,890
♪ You look for trouble,
turn around, give me a shout
66
00:03:39,891 --> 00:03:41,848
♪ I take it all
67
00:03:41,849 --> 00:03:43,807
♪ You squeeze me dry
68
00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:48,349
♪ And now today you
couldn't even say goodbye
69
00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:54,467
♪ I could take you home on
the midnight train again
70
00:03:56,016 --> 00:04:01,792
♪ I could make an offer
you can't refuse
71
00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:05,337
♪ Whatever you want
72
00:04:10,974 --> 00:04:16,182
♪ I could take you home on
the midnight train again...
73
00:04:16,183 --> 00:04:18,681
(CAR HORN BLARING)
74
00:04:18,682 --> 00:04:24,049
♪ I could make an offer
you can't refuse
75
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:27,765
♪ Whatever you want
76
00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:30,007
♪ Whatever you like...
77
00:04:30,391 --> 00:04:32,015
Ah, Michaela!
78
00:04:32,016 --> 00:04:34,014
(EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT)
I've come to take my car.
79
00:04:34,266 --> 00:04:37,557
Move yours, it's blocking
mine. I want out.
80
00:04:37,558 --> 00:04:40,753
- Uh-huh. Who's he?
- My new lover.
81
00:04:44,682 --> 00:04:45,807
Bloody hell.
82
00:04:45,808 --> 00:04:47,674
(CAR HORN BLARING)
83
00:04:48,891 --> 00:04:52,057
Can't you do that a bit louder, darling?
I don't think you've woken the whole street.
84
00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:55,432
Come on, Mum. You're
supposed to be helping me.
85
00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:56,890
I'm coming, I'm coming.
86
00:04:56,891 --> 00:04:59,257
(PING)
87
00:05:00,058 --> 00:05:02,099
"Hello, Kate. My name is
Jean-Baptiste Durain.
88
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,807
"I'm 57 years old, live in Paris and
would love to converse with you."
89
00:05:04,808 --> 00:05:06,390
Durain!
90
00:05:06,391 --> 00:05:09,882
♪ I take it all, you
squeeze me dry...
91
00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:13,424
Well, this is a first.
92
00:05:15,183 --> 00:05:21,459
♪ I could take you home on
the midnight train again
93
00:05:22,849 --> 00:05:27,140
♪ I could make an offer
you can't refuse ♪
94
00:05:27,141 --> 00:05:29,265
(JERRY) Hey-hey!
95
00:05:29,266 --> 00:05:32,932
Prodigal daughter departing for an
establishment of higher learning.
96
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,807
Hurrah for said person!
97
00:05:34,808 --> 00:05:36,432
- Where is it you're going, again?
- Edinburgh.
98
00:05:36,433 --> 00:05:41,057
Edinburgh. Oh, brilliant!
Yeah, cor... Brilliant!
99
00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:43,681
Say yes to everything.
Go on, och aye to it all.
100
00:05:43,682 --> 00:05:47,140
- Well, not everything, Jerry.
- No, of course not.
101
00:05:47,141 --> 00:05:50,432
- Jerry! Here you are.
- What? No, I don't want that darling.
102
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,015
- What?
- It's boiling. No, I'm all right, thanks.
103
00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:54,757
Anyway, Sophie, have a ball.
104
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,848
See you at Christmas, darling.
105
00:05:57,849 --> 00:05:59,640
- See you, Uncle Jerry.
- Ho-ho!
106
00:05:59,641 --> 00:06:01,681
Now, you haven't forgotten
about tomorrow night.
107
00:06:01,682 --> 00:06:02,723
Ken's definitely coming.
108
00:06:02,724 --> 00:06:04,182
Despite what happened with the
flowers, he's still keen.
109
00:06:04,183 --> 00:06:07,557
All right. Well, second time lucky.
110
00:06:07,558 --> 00:06:12,057
Smashing! That's my girl.
Seven o'clock at ours.
111
00:06:12,058 --> 00:06:13,424
(GRUNT)
112
00:06:13,682 --> 00:06:16,628
- I think that's her serve.
- I hope not.
113
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:26,750
Oh, shot. Ding dong!
114
00:06:28,225 --> 00:06:33,265
Hey, one more week, old son, and you'll
be doing this all day every day.
115
00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:35,640
This is going to be our new office.
116
00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:38,140
It's what we've worked our
whole lives for, isn't it?
117
00:06:38,141 --> 00:06:40,291
- Eh?
- Yeah.
118
00:06:41,141 --> 00:06:43,182
Yeah, I suppose you're
right, my friend.
119
00:06:43,183 --> 00:06:46,390
Yep. Living the dream,
old son. Living the dream.
120
00:06:46,391 --> 00:06:48,961
No more answering to the man.
121
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:53,807
We call and we... take the shots.
122
00:06:53,808 --> 00:06:55,182
- Ah, that's not bad.
- Nice one.
123
00:06:55,183 --> 00:06:57,515
- Whoo-hoo!
- Sure we won't be bored now?
124
00:06:57,516 --> 00:07:02,723
Bored? Bored?
What, with all this? Bored!
125
00:07:02,724 --> 00:07:04,340
As if.
126
00:07:05,682 --> 00:07:07,432
- Oh!
- Oh, no. It's not gone again, has it?
127
00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:10,799
- Oh, yeah. Shit!
- Anything I can do?
128
00:07:11,183 --> 00:07:14,140
Yeah, just... just put your...
put your thumb right there, mate.
129
00:07:14,141 --> 00:07:17,640
Oh, I'd better not stand
there. People will talk.
130
00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:20,765
Now, don't forget: always
wash your jeans inside out,
131
00:07:20,766 --> 00:07:22,890
if it looks swollen,
it probably is, and...
132
00:07:22,891 --> 00:07:25,681
and never put anything into your
mouth that hasn't been boiled first.
133
00:07:25,682 --> 00:07:26,890
(MOBILE RINGING)
134
00:07:26,891 --> 00:07:28,681
- Oh, it's Dad.
- Oh.
135
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:29,640
Hi, Dad.
136
00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:31,390
Hello, my darling.
Have you left yet?
137
00:07:31,391 --> 00:07:32,807
I'm just setting off. I'm with Mum.
138
00:07:32,808 --> 00:07:34,224
'Lucky girl, going to Edinburgh.'
139
00:07:34,225 --> 00:07:37,848
Your Mum and I were quite the
dynamic pair on campus in our day.
140
00:07:37,849 --> 00:07:40,681
Maybe I'll buy a flat near you
and relive my student days.
141
00:07:40,682 --> 00:07:43,890
- Er... no, thanks, Dad. It's my turn.
- 'Yes, it is indeed.'
142
00:07:43,891 --> 00:07:46,015
Don't know where Jerry's going.
No, Jerry's getting lost.
143
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:47,723
'So what are you gonna
do now you're retired?'
144
00:07:47,724 --> 00:07:49,432
'Oh, I don't know.'
145
00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:52,556
Maybe I'll finally buy that boat and
sail around the world, you know.
146
00:07:52,557 --> 00:07:54,723
- You were gonna do that with Mum.
- 'That's true, I was.'
147
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,307
(MOUTHS)
148
00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:57,681
Dad, I have to go. I've got
a big drive ahead of me.
149
00:07:57,682 --> 00:08:01,307
OK. Call me when you get in, now.
I love you, Sophie.
150
00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:02,673
'Love you too, Dad.'
151
00:08:02,974 --> 00:08:06,140
- He's threatening to relive his student days.
- Mmm.
152
00:08:06,141 --> 00:08:09,182
- What were you two like at college?
- Naive, unrealistic, ill-prepared.
153
00:08:09,183 --> 00:08:11,432
So, everything that I am right now.
154
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:12,890
Not you, not you, never you.
155
00:08:12,891 --> 00:08:16,015
Not at all. Come on, off you go.
156
00:08:16,016 --> 00:08:19,932
Don't forget to call me when you
get there. Always go out in groups.
157
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:23,640
If you get homesick, come home.
And try and find a good taxi service.
158
00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:25,431
Because some of them
have women-only drivers.
159
00:08:25,432 --> 00:08:28,924
Women-only drivers, got it.
Anything else?
160
00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:33,545
Be yourself, you're lovely.
161
00:08:49,849 --> 00:08:51,715
Oh!
162
00:08:57,849 --> 00:08:59,715
(SNIFFS)
163
00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:05,848
Hi, honey, I'm home.
164
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,307
(MIAOWING)
165
00:09:08,308 --> 00:09:10,973
Hello, Rumps. Come here.
166
00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:14,848
- (MIAOWS)
- Hello, darling.
167
00:09:14,849 --> 00:09:17,224
What shall we do
this afternoon, eh?
168
00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:20,374
- (MIAOWS)
- Let's get drunk.
169
00:09:27,141 --> 00:09:30,337
Hi, honey, I'm home.
170
00:09:46,432 --> 00:09:48,389
You can hide all you like.
171
00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:52,515
I've spotted you and we should
get a start on your last week.
172
00:09:52,516 --> 00:09:54,431
Yes, of course.
Good morning, Doreen.
173
00:09:54,432 --> 00:09:58,057
It has always been our good
fortune to share the same train.
174
00:09:58,058 --> 00:10:00,765
No rest for the wicked, Mr Jones.
175
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,307
Doreen, after all these years, after
everything we've been through,
176
00:10:03,308 --> 00:10:05,015
are you still refusing
to call me Richard?
177
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:09,307
Yes! Now, you have a ten o'clock
meeting with the new owners.
178
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:11,431
- Yeah.
- Any idea who they are?
179
00:10:11,432 --> 00:10:12,707
Hmm...
180
00:10:13,682 --> 00:10:16,140
Young is all I know, Doreen.
181
00:10:16,141 --> 00:10:18,473
I took your advice on their
pension share offer.
182
00:10:18,474 --> 00:10:20,598
- I took them up on it.
- What? The whole lot?
183
00:10:20,599 --> 00:10:24,932
Yes, lots of us did. Janice in
Accounts, Marcus in Payroll.
184
00:10:24,933 --> 00:10:27,182
Well, it's a solid offer.
185
00:10:27,183 --> 00:10:31,129
Now, you have a prostate
check at 2:15 today.
186
00:10:31,974 --> 00:10:34,339
I'm gonna miss these
little chats, Doreen.
187
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,598
I thought my leaving
party was on Friday.
188
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:46,224
I don't think this is
a party, Mr Jones.
189
00:10:46,225 --> 00:10:49,420
- It's all gone, Richard. The lot!
- What?
190
00:10:51,225 --> 00:10:53,091
Morning, everyone.
191
00:11:00,141 --> 00:11:02,556
Richard, what's going on?
192
00:11:02,557 --> 00:11:04,389
I don't know, Janice.
I have no idea.
193
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:06,389
- Did you know about this?
- No, of course not, Marcus.
194
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:09,015
- Is this legal? Can they just do this?
- Yes, of course they can.
195
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,015
Now, wait a minute.
We don't know that.
196
00:11:11,016 --> 00:11:13,182
Just... just give me
some time here, please.
197
00:11:13,183 --> 00:11:14,973
- Will we get paid this month?
- Yes, of course you will.
198
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,473
- Did you know this was coming?
- Of course he didn't!
199
00:11:17,474 --> 00:11:19,890
Someone said the shares are
worthless. Is that true?
200
00:11:19,891 --> 00:11:21,666
- No.
- Yes.
201
00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:28,224
Jesus!
202
00:11:28,225 --> 00:11:33,515
I suppose they'll let us in at some point.
To collect our things, I mean.
203
00:11:33,516 --> 00:11:37,213
Doreen, I promise you,
I will sort this out.
204
00:11:42,183 --> 00:11:45,431
Everyone, listen up! I promise you
I'll get to the bottom of this.
205
00:11:45,432 --> 00:11:48,348
I will find out what's going on
but I just need some time, OK?
206
00:11:48,349 --> 00:11:49,890
What are we supposed to do now?
207
00:11:49,891 --> 00:11:52,848
- How?
- But, Richard, what can you do?
208
00:11:52,849 --> 00:11:55,723
I... I don't know,
but I promise you,
209
00:11:55,724 --> 00:11:59,556
I will make sure that every one
of you gets what they're due.
210
00:11:59,557 --> 00:12:04,174
I will not, will not, let you down.
211
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:16,257
OK, Jean-Baptiste, here I come.
212
00:12:17,516 --> 00:12:21,640
I am interested in the, er...
213
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:26,042
the arts and culture.
214
00:12:26,349 --> 00:12:31,306
I love travel and adventure
215
00:12:31,307 --> 00:12:35,015
and generally being...
216
00:12:35,016 --> 00:12:40,431
spon-tan-eous.
217
00:12:40,432 --> 00:12:42,048
Whoosh!
218
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:45,215
Oh, God!
219
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:52,848
'Finally, after heavy bidding, a diamond
has been sold today at Sotheby's
220
00:12:52,849 --> 00:12:55,765
'for a record 10.8 million.'
221
00:12:55,766 --> 00:12:56,723
Blimey!
222
00:12:56,724 --> 00:13:01,181
'Known in the trade as the Eye of the Rainbow
because of its distinctive colouring in the light
223
00:13:01,182 --> 00:13:06,057
'it was bought at auction in New York.
Today's buyer wishes to remain anonymous.
224
00:13:06,058 --> 00:13:08,431
'However, Sotheby's
says the buyer plans...
225
00:13:08,432 --> 00:13:11,015
'...for the stone to be the
centrepiece of a necklace...
226
00:13:11,016 --> 00:13:12,515
Or to be sold for
starving children.
227
00:13:12,516 --> 00:13:14,099
'...for one lucky lady
likely to be extremely happy
228
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,973
'with her gift this evening.
229
00:13:16,974 --> 00:13:19,015
'Coming up on Sky News at seven...'
230
00:13:19,016 --> 00:13:20,598
Oh, bloody hell!
231
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,214
OK.
232
00:13:23,682 --> 00:13:26,127
Ken, I'm coming for you.
233
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,306
Oh, twice in one week. What
have I done to deserve this?
234
00:13:31,307 --> 00:13:33,473
- Kate, we need to talk.
- Not now, Richard. I'm busy.
235
00:13:33,474 --> 00:13:34,556
- Please, I just need to...
- Hello!
236
00:13:34,557 --> 00:13:36,848
- Hello, Ken.
- Look, no flowers!
237
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:38,544
Well done!
238
00:13:38,974 --> 00:13:42,640
- Oh, it's you again.
- Ken. Again, hi.
239
00:13:42,641 --> 00:13:45,264
Kate, I need to speak to you.
240
00:13:45,265 --> 00:13:46,723
- I'll see you...
- Yes...
241
00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:47,723
(MOUTHS)
242
00:13:47,724 --> 00:13:51,045
OK, great. Looking forward.
243
00:13:52,516 --> 00:13:55,223
- Have you been drinking?
- No... Yes.
244
00:13:55,224 --> 00:13:57,598
- Look, what difference does it make?
- A lot of difference.
245
00:13:57,599 --> 00:14:00,640
You're prone to exaggeration
and wild statements of intent.
246
00:14:00,641 --> 00:14:02,640
Look, there are big
problems at the office.
247
00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:06,139
Please, tell it to Anastasia or
Michaela or whoever the latest is...
248
00:14:06,140 --> 00:14:08,431
Culco has gone into receivership.
249
00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:11,556
The new owners have stripped us of any
value and run us into the ground.
250
00:14:11,557 --> 00:14:12,681
The shares are worthless.
251
00:14:12,682 --> 00:14:15,348
My pension, your pension,
was all tied up in those shares.
252
00:14:15,349 --> 00:14:18,431
The mortgage payments on my place,
this place, the kids' university fees,
253
00:14:18,432 --> 00:14:21,753
everything we'd saved up for
them afterwards, it's all gone.
254
00:14:21,974 --> 00:14:25,431
Kate, I virtually had the
whole company on board.
255
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,958
Marcus, Janice, I even
got Doreen involved.
256
00:14:31,682 --> 00:14:33,807
Come on.
257
00:14:33,808 --> 00:14:35,139
What do we know about these guys?
258
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:38,389
Lavco. They came in hard
and fast out of nowhere.
259
00:14:38,390 --> 00:14:40,765
The holding company traded
by the name of Lexon.
260
00:14:40,766 --> 00:14:44,515
We were persuaded to integrate
our pension fund into theirs.
261
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:47,056
Turns out Lexon was hollow, toxic.
262
00:14:47,057 --> 00:14:50,973
So when they turned to
dust, so did our pension.
263
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,807
There's always someone
bigger behind these things,
264
00:14:53,808 --> 00:14:57,015
someone who manages to wipe
their hands clean and move on.
265
00:14:57,016 --> 00:14:58,381
(MIAOWING)
266
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,015
(HISSES)
267
00:15:01,016 --> 00:15:03,306
- (KATE) Still allergic to cat hair?
- (RICHARD) Worse than ever.
268
00:15:03,307 --> 00:15:05,878
- Go on, Rumpy, sit on him.
- (CHUCKLES)
269
00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:08,015
- I see you got your PhD.
- Yeah.
270
00:15:08,016 --> 00:15:12,431
- So, how's life as a lecturer?
- Under-paid.
271
00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:15,348
- What are the students like?
- Under-motivated.
272
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:18,473
Could you just stop
fidgeting and sit down?
273
00:15:18,474 --> 00:15:22,598
I'm on the site but I can't get any
real info. I'm being blocked.
274
00:15:22,599 --> 00:15:24,932
We need a password.
275
00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:27,306
- We need...
- Matt.
276
00:15:27,307 --> 00:15:28,515
We need Matt.
277
00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:30,473
'Mum, you do know
hacking is illegal.'
278
00:15:30,474 --> 00:15:33,014
'I know, Matt and I would never
want you to do anything illegal.
279
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:37,723
'But I wondered if you could just...
accidentally stumble into it.'
280
00:15:37,724 --> 00:15:39,624
Accidentally stumble into it?
281
00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:42,973
- 'Son, do as your mother asks.'
- Dad?
282
00:15:42,974 --> 00:15:45,765
- What are you doing there?
- 'It's a long story, Matty boy.
283
00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:48,807
'But right now it's payback time
on that misspent youth I funded.'
284
00:15:48,808 --> 00:15:50,181
- 'We funded.'
- OK, hold on.
285
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:53,958
I'll have to use my other
computer. Wait here.
286
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,389
- Is that his roommate, Tyler?
- I think it is.
287
00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:02,640
- (GASPS)
- Oh, Tyler!
288
00:16:02,641 --> 00:16:06,932
- 'Close the door.'
- (RICHARD) 'Come on, son. Close it now.'
289
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,556
Mr and Mrs J?
290
00:16:08,557 --> 00:16:11,223
'Yes, we're here on Skype.'
291
00:16:11,224 --> 00:16:13,215
'Sorry.'
292
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,715
'OK, I've emailed you the password.
That will get you in.'
293
00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:20,223
- 'Good man!'
- 'Well done, Matt.'
294
00:16:20,224 --> 00:16:23,090
Oh, and guys... it's really
good to see you together again.
295
00:16:28,015 --> 00:16:29,389
- Oh!
- Hey!
296
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:30,765
- We're in.
- Good.
297
00:16:30,766 --> 00:16:33,291
I've always wanted to say that.
298
00:16:34,641 --> 00:16:36,098
There we go. Lexon.
299
00:16:36,099 --> 00:16:38,515
Owned by one Vincent
Mathias Kruger,
300
00:16:38,516 --> 00:16:41,890
international hedge fund
manager, born in Budapest,
301
00:16:41,891 --> 00:16:46,681
currently resides in Paris, horribly young,
keen sportsman, patron of the arts.
302
00:16:46,682 --> 00:16:48,473
Oh! Mentor to the young.
303
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:52,431
Could he look any more like a money
grabbing, cheating, immoral little shit?
304
00:16:52,432 --> 00:16:55,014
But you're not gonna get away with
it, my friend, not on my watch.
305
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,890
- He can't hear you.
- I know he can't hear me.
306
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:59,181
But he's certainly
gonna feel my wrath.
307
00:16:59,182 --> 00:17:02,848
- OK, Guevara, what's your plan?
- I'm gonna go to Paris.
308
00:17:02,849 --> 00:17:05,098
I'm gonna go to Paris with
what little money I have left
309
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:08,056
and bang on that man's door so loudly
he's gonna pay for me to go away.
310
00:17:08,057 --> 00:17:09,723
I'm gonna get back
what's rightfully mine.
311
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:10,848
- Ours.
- Ours.
312
00:17:10,849 --> 00:17:14,473
I didn't work for 25 years in that
God-forsaken job to have some little...
313
00:17:14,474 --> 00:17:15,598
Prick?
314
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:20,389
prick like him stroll in and
spirit away my, our, retirement.
315
00:17:20,390 --> 00:17:24,223
I'm gonna do it for all the little people
who've done nothing but play by the rules.
316
00:17:24,224 --> 00:17:27,306
For Marcus and Janice,
for Doreen, for you.
317
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,348
No, do not do it for me.
318
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,545
For the kids.
319
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,674
- How's your French?
- Rusty. Why?
320
00:17:36,808 --> 00:17:38,173
Non.
321
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:42,916
Non, non, non, non, non, non.
Absolutely not. No way!
322
00:17:43,307 --> 00:17:46,708
(♪ ZAZ: "JE VEUX")
323
00:17:58,641 --> 00:17:59,765
(HORNS BLARING)
324
00:17:59,766 --> 00:18:02,681
(KATE) You missed it again!
I said the second exit.
325
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,889
(RICHARD) I couldn't get across.
326
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:06,014
(KATE) What do you mean, you
couldn't get across? Just indicate!
327
00:18:06,015 --> 00:18:08,972
(RICHARD) I am indicating, darling, but
they're not paying any bloody attention.
328
00:18:08,973 --> 00:18:10,598
(KATE) How can your driving
not have improved?
329
00:18:10,599 --> 00:18:14,473
You've had years to practise.
Be assertive, man!
330
00:18:14,474 --> 00:18:16,181
(RICHARD) Be assertive? Right.
331
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,127
- (HORN BLARING)
- (KATE SQUEALS)
332
00:18:25,808 --> 00:18:29,348
- This is very unlike her.
- She might have got a better offer.
333
00:18:29,349 --> 00:18:33,681
- A better offer than Ken?
- Our dog's a better offer than Ken.
334
00:18:33,682 --> 00:18:37,548
(HORNS BLARING)
335
00:18:39,349 --> 00:18:41,723
(CLEARS THROAT)
336
00:18:41,724 --> 00:18:44,847
- Let's just get something straight, shall we?
- Yes, let's.
337
00:18:44,848 --> 00:18:47,348
- We go, we sort this mess out.
- Uh-huh.
338
00:18:47,349 --> 00:18:49,889
And then we go on with the
rest of our lives, separately.
339
00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:52,086
Sounds good to me.
340
00:18:53,807 --> 00:18:56,640
Come on then, Trotsky.
Let's get this over with.
341
00:18:56,641 --> 00:19:01,166
(♪ MOZART'S "LA MIA DORABELLA,)
(COSI FAN TUTTE" PLAYING)
342
00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:10,881
(INDISTINCT)
343
00:19:16,349 --> 00:19:17,919
Merci.
344
00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:21,881
- Hmm... no dice.
- No.
345
00:19:22,807 --> 00:19:25,723
Do you remember that time
at Soph's PTA meeting
346
00:19:25,724 --> 00:19:28,123
when we couldn't get in
to see the headmaster?
347
00:19:28,432 --> 00:19:30,877
- And you...?
- Yeah.
348
00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:34,290
- Worth a try.
- Yeah.
349
00:19:38,224 --> 00:19:40,847
Oh, sweetheart... Oh, damn!
Oh, dear, dear.
350
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:43,465
(IN FRENCH)
A glass of water, please.
351
00:19:49,265 --> 00:19:51,586
- Which floor?
- Top floor.
352
00:19:52,516 --> 00:19:56,139
- Not bad, Miss Jones. Not bad.
- You never lose skills like that.
353
00:19:56,140 --> 00:19:58,264
- Can you still do that thing with your...
- No, Richard.
354
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,506
(PING)
355
00:20:04,307 --> 00:20:05,931
- Mr Kruger's office?
- Oui.
356
00:20:05,932 --> 00:20:08,253
- Très bon.
- Quoi?
357
00:20:12,099 --> 00:20:13,722
(IN FRENCH) Mr Kruger, I'm sorry...
358
00:20:13,723 --> 00:20:16,139
(IN FRENCH)
It's OK. Can I help you?
359
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:18,139
You bought the company
I work for last week.
360
00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:21,306
- Pardon?
- And ran it into the ground.
361
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,931
(CONTINUES IN FRENCH)
I don't understand, sir.
362
00:20:22,932 --> 00:20:25,082
Vous êtes un money grabbing pig!
363
00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:29,014
- Your company...
- Votre... votre company.
364
00:20:29,015 --> 00:20:33,556
- ...bought my company...
- Hang on... acheté ma... company.
365
00:20:33,557 --> 00:20:35,931
And ran it into the ground.
366
00:20:35,932 --> 00:20:37,798
Et le...
367
00:20:38,224 --> 00:20:41,625
- Steady, Kate.
- (GROANS)
368
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,515
- Steady, Kate. Steady.
- Sorry.
369
00:20:43,516 --> 00:20:46,889
I run a lot of companies into
the ground. Which one?
370
00:20:46,890 --> 00:20:50,680
- Culco.
- Culco, er...
371
00:20:50,681 --> 00:20:54,889
See, that was last week. I very much
live in the now, the maintenant.
372
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:58,722
Well, maybe this is maintenant enough for you.
You stole all our money and we want it back.
373
00:20:58,723 --> 00:21:00,473
- And you are?
- This is my wife.
374
00:21:00,474 --> 00:21:01,598
- Ex-wife.
- Ex-wife.
375
00:21:01,599 --> 00:21:03,556
- Ex-wife?
- Yeah, we've established that now.
376
00:21:03,557 --> 00:21:05,598
- So you're not denying it.
- No, I don't think so.
377
00:21:05,599 --> 00:21:07,515
Listen, you, there are
people whose lives
378
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,389
depend on the pension
they were gonna receive.
379
00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:12,381
You can't just throw them away
like that. It's just not fair.
380
00:21:12,973 --> 00:21:15,214
OK, OK, you got me.
381
00:21:15,599 --> 00:21:19,264
What I did was wrong,
reprehensible, evil even.
382
00:21:19,265 --> 00:21:24,014
In a normal world, illegal. But that's
the beauty of it: it's completely legal.
383
00:21:24,015 --> 00:21:26,056
Now, listen to me, you
little sack of shit.
384
00:21:26,057 --> 00:21:29,431
You are messing with people's lives.
Proper, good, hardworking people
385
00:21:29,432 --> 00:21:30,847
who have done absolutely nothing
386
00:21:30,848 --> 00:21:32,889
but play by the bloody rules
laid out in front of them.
387
00:21:32,890 --> 00:21:34,722
Oh, she definitely wears
the trousers, no?
388
00:21:34,723 --> 00:21:36,972
I'm not even gonna rise to that.
Of course she does.
389
00:21:36,973 --> 00:21:39,515
- We're the older generation. We're enlightened.
- We're divorced.
390
00:21:39,516 --> 00:21:41,056
And we're done.
391
00:21:41,057 --> 00:21:44,806
Put me down. Put me down!
I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
392
00:21:44,807 --> 00:21:48,806
Put me down. Put my wife down!
Put my wife down!
393
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,264
- There you go.
- Ex-wife.
394
00:21:50,265 --> 00:21:51,639
Ex-wife.
395
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,014
- Could have had 'em.
- Shit!
396
00:21:53,015 --> 00:21:55,223
We are totally taking
him down. Totally!
397
00:21:55,224 --> 00:21:57,295
Now what, huh?
398
00:22:09,265 --> 00:22:10,639
Whoo!
399
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,389
Close your mouth. Who do
you think she belongs to?
400
00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:17,835
If I were a betting man,
I'd say... Here you go.
401
00:22:20,474 --> 00:22:21,623
Bingo!
402
00:22:24,349 --> 00:22:26,014
- Quick, let's follow.
- Good idea.
403
00:22:26,015 --> 00:22:29,014
- Let me drive. I'm the better driver.
- No way, José. You forgot your license.
404
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,264
- Come on, Richard. I'm a much better driver.
- You forgot your license.
405
00:22:31,265 --> 00:22:32,639
You're not a better driver.
You just think you are.
406
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,680
You'll regret it.
407
00:22:33,681 --> 00:22:36,473
- Remember Hammersmith bridge?
- That's unfair.
408
00:22:36,474 --> 00:22:40,348
You forgot to put oil in the tank.
You forgot to put oil in it.
409
00:22:40,349 --> 00:22:43,056
- Go fast. Go fast.
- I'm not gonna go fast.
410
00:22:43,057 --> 00:22:45,378
Quickly, they're getting away.
411
00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:50,306
- You've gotta keep up, Richard.
- It's called tailing, Kate.
412
00:22:50,307 --> 00:22:52,877
If we get too close, they'll
know they're being followed.
413
00:22:54,598 --> 00:22:56,223
(KATE) Well, that was the
world's shortest car chase.
414
00:22:56,224 --> 00:22:58,764
What? It's a red light! You want
me to start running reds now?
415
00:22:58,765 --> 00:23:00,915
No, God forbid, Richard.
416
00:23:01,973 --> 00:23:03,543
Well, that was intense.
417
00:23:03,848 --> 00:23:06,431
Thank you. Could have killed a nun.
418
00:23:06,432 --> 00:23:09,378
Many nuns, possibly.
A whole load of dead nuns.
419
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,931
- Oh, that's them, Richard!
- What?
420
00:23:12,932 --> 00:23:14,889
I've just seen them, Richard!
Please, let me drive.
421
00:23:14,890 --> 00:23:16,931
- Please! Please, let me drive.
- Fine.
422
00:23:16,932 --> 00:23:21,056
OK, OK. It's been a while.
423
00:23:21,057 --> 00:23:23,056
- (HORN BLARES)
- What did you have for lunch?
424
00:23:23,057 --> 00:23:24,581
What?
425
00:23:26,182 --> 00:23:28,181
Buckle up.
426
00:23:28,182 --> 00:23:30,348
Which way are we going?
Kate, we're going backwards.
427
00:23:30,349 --> 00:23:32,098
- Yep.
- Backwards, Kate!
428
00:23:32,099 --> 00:23:34,139
Putting my seat belt on.
Putting my seat belt on right now.
429
00:23:34,140 --> 00:23:38,382
Kate, no, no, no, no!
Kate! Kate! Kate! Kate!
430
00:23:39,349 --> 00:23:41,389
- Argh!
- Hold tight.
431
00:23:41,390 --> 00:23:45,847
I'm holding tight! We can't even
afford the basic insurance.
432
00:23:45,848 --> 00:23:48,223
Oh, fuck the insurance.
433
00:23:48,224 --> 00:23:50,348
(RICHARD LAUGHING)
434
00:23:50,349 --> 00:23:52,722
(KATE) Whoo-hoo!
435
00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,680
Ha! We did it! There they are.
436
00:23:55,681 --> 00:23:57,555
- All right, now stick it on.
- What?
437
00:23:57,556 --> 00:24:00,431
Track 3, "All Right Now".
It helps me drive.
438
00:24:00,432 --> 00:24:03,223
(♪ FREE'S "ALL RIGHT NOW" PLAYING)
439
00:24:03,224 --> 00:24:05,014
(RICHARD) Where did you
learn to drive like this?
440
00:24:05,015 --> 00:24:07,223
- School run.
- What? With the children in the car?
441
00:24:07,224 --> 00:24:09,420
♪ Oh, yeah...
442
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,881
Sorry. Sorry.
443
00:24:16,015 --> 00:24:19,506
♪ There she stood in the street
444
00:24:20,598 --> 00:24:23,931
♪ Smiling from her head to her feet
445
00:24:23,932 --> 00:24:28,014
♪ I said, "Hey, what
is this now, baby?"
446
00:24:28,015 --> 00:24:30,098
♪ Maybe, maybe she's in need...
447
00:24:30,099 --> 00:24:32,056
(RICHARD)
Mother and child. Mother and child!
448
00:24:32,057 --> 00:24:34,223
We're gonna run into the baby!
449
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:36,306
- For God's sake, get over.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry!
450
00:24:36,307 --> 00:24:38,181
- Don't panic.
- I'm not panicking.
451
00:24:38,182 --> 00:24:41,389
- Yes, you're panicking. I can feel it.
- I'm not. I'm not panicking.
452
00:24:41,390 --> 00:24:44,639
♪ Now don't you wait or hesitate
453
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,931
♪ Let's move before they
raise the parking rate
454
00:24:48,932 --> 00:24:51,306
♪ All right now...
455
00:24:51,307 --> 00:24:52,722
God, I love Free!
456
00:24:52,723 --> 00:24:55,806
♪ Baby, it's all right now...
457
00:24:55,807 --> 00:24:59,806
Oh, fuck! That was really
tight. That was tight.
458
00:24:59,807 --> 00:25:04,098
♪ Baby, it's all right now ♪
459
00:25:04,099 --> 00:25:05,639
- Here we go.
- Stay on their tail.
460
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,555
- We're nearly there.
- Yeah.
461
00:25:07,556 --> 00:25:09,764
(BANG)
462
00:25:09,765 --> 00:25:11,430
Grit?
463
00:25:11,431 --> 00:25:12,889
(BANG)
464
00:25:12,890 --> 00:25:14,264
OK, we're being shot at.
465
00:25:14,265 --> 00:25:17,514
Stop, stop, stop. Leave the car.
466
00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:21,680
Really? Just leave it?
Just leave it here?
467
00:25:21,681 --> 00:25:24,972
- OK. Just walk away. Act natural.
- We can't just leave it here!
468
00:25:24,973 --> 00:25:27,264
- Yeah? OK, all right.
- No, no, no, no, no!
469
00:25:27,265 --> 00:25:29,098
No, you're right. When
you're right, you're right.
470
00:25:29,099 --> 00:25:30,430
Get back in.
471
00:25:30,431 --> 00:25:34,098
- (KATE) Jesus Christ, Are you mad?
- (RICHARD) Sorry, I just panicked there.
472
00:25:34,099 --> 00:25:38,014
- (KATE) I understand but we've just got to...
- (RICHARD) Let's have a cup of tea.
473
00:25:38,015 --> 00:25:41,585
(KATE) No, it's all right. Stop
talking about tea. We're in France.
474
00:25:50,973 --> 00:25:54,139
- You kept your bag.
- Yeah. So did you.
475
00:25:54,140 --> 00:25:59,056
- Yeah, they've lasted quite well, actually.
- Better than us.
476
00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:03,083
- Yeah, well, they came with a guarantee.
- (CHUCKLES)
477
00:26:04,182 --> 00:26:06,388
- Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.
478
00:26:06,389 --> 00:26:09,460
- We'd like two rooms.
- Passports, please.
479
00:26:10,932 --> 00:26:12,722
Here.
480
00:26:12,723 --> 00:26:14,373
- There you go.
- Thank you.
481
00:26:16,431 --> 00:26:18,056
Mrs Jones.
482
00:26:18,057 --> 00:26:21,472
- Well, Ms.
- And Mr Jones.
483
00:26:21,473 --> 00:26:23,806
- Yes.
- And you want two rooms?
484
00:26:23,807 --> 00:26:25,181
- Yes.
- Yes.
485
00:26:25,182 --> 00:26:26,847
You are brother and sister?
486
00:26:26,848 --> 00:26:27,806
- No.
- No.
487
00:26:27,807 --> 00:26:29,388
(IN FRENCH) A suite, perhaps?
488
00:26:29,389 --> 00:26:31,306
- No.
- Next to each other?
489
00:26:31,307 --> 00:26:33,931
Not necessary, really.
We're divorced. I kept his name.
490
00:26:33,932 --> 00:26:35,472
- Ah, but you kept his name.
- Yes.
491
00:26:35,473 --> 00:26:36,597
Yeah, you did, didn't you?
492
00:26:36,598 --> 00:26:39,306
Yes, because it's been mine for some
time. And my kids have it. It's no biggy.
493
00:26:39,307 --> 00:26:45,555
And you are holidaying together to
see if perhaps the flame still burns?
494
00:26:45,556 --> 00:26:48,388
- Yeah, why not? I mean...
- No, so not. The flame is out.
495
00:26:48,389 --> 00:26:50,639
- Oh, no.
- Snuffed, gone.
496
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,347
We are in Paris. You never know...
497
00:26:54,348 --> 00:26:56,464
We do know.
498
00:26:57,265 --> 00:27:02,223
Ah, I'm afraid the only two rooms
I have left are adjoining.
499
00:27:02,224 --> 00:27:05,430
- What about those?
- Oh, no, they are all taken.
500
00:27:05,431 --> 00:27:07,252
We are very, very busy.
501
00:27:08,515 --> 00:27:11,257
- Really?
- We'll take them. Thank you. Bonsoir.
502
00:27:12,556 --> 00:27:14,547
Bonsoir.
503
00:27:15,681 --> 00:27:17,972
Bloody hell. What floor?
504
00:27:17,973 --> 00:27:20,714
- Haven't a clue.
- Christ!
505
00:27:22,765 --> 00:27:25,680
You don't fancy rubbing some Deep
Heat into my coccyx, do you?
506
00:27:25,681 --> 00:27:29,331
- No.
- Just a thought.
507
00:27:33,224 --> 00:27:35,544
(MOBILE PINGS)
508
00:27:40,389 --> 00:27:41,755
Ooh!
509
00:27:42,598 --> 00:27:49,795
You'll never guess
where I find myself.
510
00:27:55,515 --> 00:27:57,665
(MOBILE PINGS)
511
00:28:01,015 --> 00:28:04,711
Pourquoi pas?
512
00:28:05,890 --> 00:28:07,347
(MIAOWING)
513
00:28:07,348 --> 00:28:10,722
There's two bowls down for Rumpus
and the kitchen light is on.
514
00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:14,098
Sophie, darling! Hey,
got your leg over yet?
515
00:28:14,099 --> 00:28:15,889
Hello. Sophie, darling?
516
00:28:15,890 --> 00:28:18,347
You haven't heard from
you mother, have you?
517
00:28:18,348 --> 00:28:22,794
No, it's nothing to worry about. It's just
we were supposed to see her yesterday.
518
00:28:40,182 --> 00:28:45,582
"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns,
in all the world, she walks into mine."
519
00:28:46,890 --> 00:28:50,086
What are the chances, eh?
520
00:28:56,099 --> 00:28:57,889
Steak-frites.
That's what you'll have.
521
00:28:57,890 --> 00:28:59,931
Nope. Turned veggie two years ago.
522
00:28:59,932 --> 00:29:01,806
But you love meat.
523
00:29:01,807 --> 00:29:04,931
People change, Richard. But you're
gonna have the cheese soufflé.
524
00:29:04,932 --> 00:29:07,555
- Nope.
- But you love cheese.
525
00:29:07,556 --> 00:29:10,764
- Cholesterol levels change, Kate.
- How's your prostate?
526
00:29:10,765 --> 00:29:12,889
Fully functioning, thank you.
How are your bunions?
527
00:29:12,890 --> 00:29:15,680
Oh, how sweet of you to remember.
Actually, they're awful.
528
00:29:15,681 --> 00:29:18,764
High heels are no longer
an option. See?
529
00:29:18,765 --> 00:29:21,665
Here's to our aging, ailing bodies.
530
00:29:23,932 --> 00:29:26,832
- May I?
- Yes, go on.
531
00:29:32,099 --> 00:29:34,222
(MOBILE RINGS)
532
00:29:34,223 --> 00:29:35,388
Ooh, ooh!
533
00:29:35,389 --> 00:29:37,539
Hey! Hey, sweetie!
534
00:29:38,556 --> 00:29:40,514
How's it going?
535
00:29:40,515 --> 00:29:42,472
Oh, I'm so glad.
536
00:29:42,473 --> 00:29:44,305
- And you like the people in your halls?
- (MOUTHS)
537
00:29:44,306 --> 00:29:45,347
(MOUTHS BACK)
538
00:29:45,348 --> 00:29:47,263
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
539
00:29:47,264 --> 00:29:50,014
(BOTH MOUTHING)
540
00:29:50,015 --> 00:29:53,014
All right, yes, you've got to go.
Of course you've got to go.
541
00:29:53,015 --> 00:29:58,388
Call me... call me later.
Yes, I love you... Bye... bye.
542
00:29:58,389 --> 00:30:03,847
- Rich, what could I say to her?
- It's all right. It's fine.
543
00:30:03,848 --> 00:30:05,972
(MOBILE RINGS)
544
00:30:05,973 --> 00:30:07,623
Oh!
545
00:30:09,015 --> 00:30:11,006
Hey, honey, how's it going?
546
00:30:11,473 --> 00:30:14,373
Yeah? For every party
write an essay.
547
00:30:15,139 --> 00:30:17,210
All right, for every three
parties write an essay.
548
00:30:18,723 --> 00:30:23,263
No. No, no, no. I'm so
proud of you, sweetheart.
549
00:30:23,264 --> 00:30:25,263
Is that what Mum said?
550
00:30:25,264 --> 00:30:28,222
Ah, well, great minds and all that.
551
00:30:28,223 --> 00:30:31,794
Listen, do me a favour, next time
you speak to your Mum, tell her...
552
00:30:32,973 --> 00:30:35,222
Tell her I miss her.
553
00:30:35,223 --> 00:30:36,514
OK.
554
00:30:36,515 --> 00:30:38,165
I love you.
555
00:30:39,181 --> 00:30:40,972
Bye, darling.
556
00:30:40,973 --> 00:30:43,555
- What's got into you?
- I don't know.
557
00:30:43,556 --> 00:30:47,764
Paris, retirement,
spending time with you,
558
00:30:47,765 --> 00:30:49,806
having our money stolen.
559
00:30:49,807 --> 00:30:52,127
That'll do it.
560
00:30:56,473 --> 00:30:58,263
This is nice, right?
561
00:30:58,264 --> 00:30:59,960
Yeah.
562
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,130
(MOBILE RINGS)
563
00:31:04,139 --> 00:31:05,680
Michaela, er...
564
00:31:05,681 --> 00:31:08,931
Just a sec... just one second.
565
00:31:08,932 --> 00:31:12,582
Listen, Michaela, I can't talk
right now. Please understand.
566
00:31:17,015 --> 00:31:20,055
It's OK, I'm just tired.
I'm gonna eat in my room.
567
00:31:20,056 --> 00:31:21,456
Shit.
568
00:31:34,848 --> 00:31:37,418
Guess who's getting married?
569
00:31:39,181 --> 00:31:40,472
(CLEARS THROAT)
570
00:31:40,473 --> 00:31:43,764
Ah! "Vincent Kruger and
fiancée Manon Fontaine.
571
00:31:43,765 --> 00:31:47,138
"Spotted off the coast of Cannes
as they prepare for their big day.
572
00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:49,263
"The upcoming nuptials are
rumoured to be taking place...
573
00:31:49,264 --> 00:31:51,430
"at the Krugers'
19th-century château
574
00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:54,972
"located within the exclusive
enclave of Cap d'Antibes."
575
00:31:54,973 --> 00:31:56,889
We've got to get ourselves
invited to that wedding.
576
00:31:56,890 --> 00:31:59,597
Why? We hate weddings.
It's the only thing we agree on.
577
00:31:59,598 --> 00:32:01,248
Look at her neck.
578
00:32:02,098 --> 00:32:03,931
- Pretty.
- Mm-hmm. What's round it?
579
00:32:03,932 --> 00:32:07,847
- Nice.
- Mmm, nice in the region of 10 million.
580
00:32:07,848 --> 00:32:10,055
Oh, very nice.
581
00:32:10,056 --> 00:32:12,097
I'm pretty sure...
in fact, I'm positive
582
00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:13,806
that's the Eye of the Rainbow.
583
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:16,680
- I thought I recognised it on her yesterday.
- Ah, the Eye of the Rainbow.
584
00:32:16,681 --> 00:32:20,472
Yes, that sold at Sotheby's recently,
fetching a record price for a single stone.
585
00:32:20,473 --> 00:32:22,639
When did you become such
a diamond aficionado?
586
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,472
Since the kids left home.
Daytime TV.
587
00:32:25,473 --> 00:32:28,214
It's a mine of useless information.
588
00:32:28,890 --> 00:32:31,597
- And, in this case, life-changing information.
- Indeed.
589
00:32:31,598 --> 00:32:35,722
I bet she's gonna be wearing
that rock at the wedding.
590
00:32:35,723 --> 00:32:41,339
That rock is our pension.
That rock is Doreen's pension.
591
00:32:46,598 --> 00:32:48,543
We should nick it.
592
00:32:53,807 --> 00:32:54,931
What?
593
00:32:54,932 --> 00:32:57,639
It's just taking back what he's
taken from us and all the others.
594
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:58,639
You want to steal a diamond?
595
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,222
Richard, he's not gonna
give us our money back.
596
00:33:00,223 --> 00:33:02,097
Well, that doesn't mean we
suddenly become the Pink Panther.
597
00:33:02,098 --> 00:33:05,347
Why not? Richard, we are screwed.
598
00:33:05,348 --> 00:33:07,180
We have nothing, literally nothing.
599
00:33:07,181 --> 00:33:09,555
Nothing to give the kids. It's
time to take back what's ours.
600
00:33:09,556 --> 00:33:15,514
I'm sick of these fat, greedy, fucker billionaires
taking all our money, just ruining this country.
601
00:33:15,515 --> 00:33:19,263
Well, not this country, actually, because
France has got great social services
602
00:33:19,264 --> 00:33:20,889
and, my word, do they
run a good protest.
603
00:33:20,890 --> 00:33:23,680
It's a stupid idea, Kate.
604
00:33:23,681 --> 00:33:26,013
- Crazy, daft...
- All right, all right.
605
00:33:26,014 --> 00:33:28,460
stupid but brilliant.
606
00:33:29,972 --> 00:33:32,430
- (WHISPERS) Brilliant idea.
- Yeah?
607
00:33:32,431 --> 00:33:35,752
Why the hell not? If not now,
when? What have we got to lose?
608
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:40,430
- Apart from our dignity and our freedom.
- Exactly.
609
00:33:40,431 --> 00:33:44,555
- Either way, it's worth investigating.
- Definitely. Let's investigate.
610
00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,930
Well, it looks like we're
heading to the south of France.
611
00:33:46,931 --> 00:33:50,832
(IN FRENCH)
Ah, together! What a good idea.
612
00:33:52,473 --> 00:33:54,680
Delightful. Isn't she beautiful?
613
00:33:54,681 --> 00:33:57,877
- She is.
- Shut up.
614
00:34:11,223 --> 00:34:13,347
Yes, yes. Yes, I understand.
615
00:34:13,348 --> 00:34:16,305
What do you mean,
they won't take it?
616
00:34:16,306 --> 00:34:18,456
Cut it up?
617
00:34:19,598 --> 00:34:24,794
Well, that's end of the credit
cards. Gone, kaput.
618
00:34:24,931 --> 00:34:28,548
- Who are you texting? You're like a teenager.
- No one.
619
00:34:29,598 --> 00:34:32,305
- She's gorgeous.
- Not my type.
620
00:34:32,306 --> 00:34:35,847
Oh, right, yeah. Legs up to the
ceiling and arse as tight as a plum.
621
00:34:35,848 --> 00:34:37,222
Of course she isn't.
622
00:34:37,223 --> 00:34:43,555
Once maybe, but not anymore.
I like things a bit more... homely.
623
00:34:43,556 --> 00:34:48,297
If that was an attempt to flatter
me, you can piss right off.
624
00:34:49,515 --> 00:34:52,013
Look, the legs aren't nearly
as good in real life.
625
00:34:52,014 --> 00:34:55,097
They've clearly been airbrushed.
626
00:34:55,098 --> 00:34:56,971
- Steady. Handbrake off.
- I've got it.
627
00:34:56,972 --> 00:34:58,180
It's off.
628
00:34:58,181 --> 00:35:01,388
(RICHARD) You've got it now.
OK. Where's she going?
629
00:35:01,389 --> 00:35:03,414
(KATE)
Just try and look like a tourist.
630
00:35:25,681 --> 00:35:27,501
- Check it out?
- Yeah.
631
00:35:33,264 --> 00:35:35,084
(KATE) Blimey!
632
00:35:38,598 --> 00:35:40,055
You should go in there.
633
00:35:40,056 --> 00:35:41,888
- Go and check the place out.
- I can't go in there.
634
00:35:41,889 --> 00:35:43,460
Go on, go on.
635
00:36:00,389 --> 00:36:03,380
(MOUTHING)
636
00:36:10,931 --> 00:36:12,876
(IN FRENCH) Julie.
637
00:36:14,264 --> 00:36:16,005
Laura.
638
00:36:16,723 --> 00:36:18,347
(CONTINUES IN FRENCH)
And who are you?
639
00:36:18,348 --> 00:36:22,763
Oh, moi? Er... me,
I'm Miriam from... Weymouth.
640
00:36:22,764 --> 00:36:26,430
I'm your cousin...
well, second cousin,
641
00:36:26,431 --> 00:36:30,971
twice removed, on your husband's
side, future husband.
642
00:36:30,972 --> 00:36:33,680
All right. You're with them.
643
00:36:33,681 --> 00:36:36,597
(♪ W BROWN: "L.O.V.E")
644
00:36:36,598 --> 00:36:39,013
♪ She's got that demon eyes
645
00:36:39,014 --> 00:36:41,514
♪ Wants a little something
from a special guy
646
00:36:41,515 --> 00:36:43,805
♪ It's there right in her eyes
647
00:36:43,806 --> 00:36:47,097
♪ You know she's not pretending,
she could tell no lies...
648
00:36:47,098 --> 00:36:49,680
Oh! Brilliant!
649
00:36:49,681 --> 00:36:51,971
♪ Hoping he would take
her body to the sky
650
00:36:51,972 --> 00:36:54,013
♪ Love makes her start to fly
651
00:36:54,014 --> 00:36:56,846
♪ She feels a little sweeter
like an apple pie...
652
00:36:56,847 --> 00:36:58,347
Ow!
653
00:36:58,348 --> 00:37:00,747
Oh, I'm so sorry.
654
00:37:01,847 --> 00:37:04,639
♪ That she is paralysed
655
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,388
♪ By the divas hangin'
over compromise
656
00:37:06,389 --> 00:37:11,514
♪ Oh, love me, oh-oh-oh,
just love me, oh-oh-oh
657
00:37:11,515 --> 00:37:16,055
♪ Just hold me, oh-oh-oh,
just kiss me, oh-oh-oh
658
00:37:16,056 --> 00:37:22,013
♪ Just want me, L-O-V-E,
love, love, love, love
659
00:37:22,014 --> 00:37:24,430
♪ Don't try to run away...
660
00:37:24,431 --> 00:37:26,251
Yeah.
661
00:37:27,556 --> 00:37:30,422
Ah, it's going to be
the best wedding ever.
662
00:37:32,014 --> 00:37:34,631
Ah, the champion!
663
00:37:35,598 --> 00:37:39,138
Could I have a Martini, please?
A really big one. Thank you.
664
00:37:39,139 --> 00:37:42,222
No, I don't know. I think I'm
making a terrible mistake.
665
00:37:42,223 --> 00:37:44,013
- No!
- You're not, sweetie.
666
00:37:44,014 --> 00:37:47,639
He's only using our wedding
as a business meeting.
667
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,763
He's got two Texans and
their wives coming.
668
00:37:50,764 --> 00:37:54,763
We've never met them before and he
wants me to make sure they are OK.
669
00:37:54,764 --> 00:37:56,388
Well, that's not right.
670
00:37:56,389 --> 00:37:58,514
And he's putting them
up at The Carlton.
671
00:37:58,515 --> 00:38:00,597
Lovely! The Carlton!
672
00:38:00,598 --> 00:38:02,597
Hey, what do you think?
673
00:38:02,598 --> 00:38:05,713
You're old. You must
have been married once.
674
00:38:06,098 --> 00:38:09,499
Er... yes. Merci.
675
00:38:12,306 --> 00:38:16,457
Old, old me. Er... what do I think?
676
00:38:17,515 --> 00:38:19,305
Er...
677
00:38:19,306 --> 00:38:25,627
I think that liking them is much more
important than loving them, actually.
678
00:38:26,473 --> 00:38:30,347
Love is easy to fall into.
Liking is much harder.
679
00:38:30,348 --> 00:38:32,930
Think of your wedding
as a driving test.
680
00:38:32,931 --> 00:38:37,173
You take it, you pass, and then you
really start to learn how to drive.
681
00:38:40,139 --> 00:38:42,005
(SNORING)
682
00:38:42,889 --> 00:38:44,755
Or you crash.
683
00:38:45,348 --> 00:38:47,888
What about that diamond he
bought you? You like that.
684
00:38:47,889 --> 00:38:50,960
- Yeah!
- Are you going to wear it at the wedding?
685
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,138
Not for the ceremony.
686
00:38:53,139 --> 00:38:56,130
I'll change halfway through
the party and put it on then.
687
00:38:57,139 --> 00:38:59,805
Hey, come on, girls, let's para!
688
00:38:59,806 --> 00:39:02,877
(CHEERING)
689
00:39:07,389 --> 00:39:12,960
I like you. You're honest.
I don't have girlfriends like that.
690
00:39:14,972 --> 00:39:16,596
Good.
691
00:39:16,597 --> 00:39:19,638
So come on, come with me.
This is so much fun!
692
00:39:19,639 --> 00:39:22,013
♪ Love me, oh-oh-oh,
just love me...
693
00:39:22,014 --> 00:39:24,846
I'm gonna kill you, Richard!
694
00:39:24,847 --> 00:39:29,263
♪ Just hold me, oh-oh-oh,
just kiss me, oh-oh-oh
695
00:39:29,264 --> 00:39:31,914
♪ Just want me, L-O-V-E ♪
696
00:39:32,181 --> 00:39:36,332
So shoot me. I nodded off.
It happens at my age.
697
00:39:36,348 --> 00:39:37,971
And you were snoring.
698
00:39:37,972 --> 00:39:39,721
Another unfortunate effect of age.
699
00:39:39,722 --> 00:39:42,263
Look, can we just stop niggling
and tell me what you found out?
700
00:39:42,264 --> 00:39:45,097
I found out that I
chafe very easily.
701
00:39:45,098 --> 00:39:47,514
- Oh, my poor girl. I'm so sorry.
- Get off.
702
00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:50,138
And the Wedding's
obviously invite only.
703
00:39:50,139 --> 00:39:52,263
But she is definitely gonna
be wearing the diamond.
704
00:39:52,264 --> 00:39:54,596
She's gonna change halfway
through the evening.
705
00:39:54,597 --> 00:39:56,430
That sounds good. Anything else?
706
00:39:56,431 --> 00:39:59,347
Not really, just that she's
pissed off with the evil one
707
00:39:59,348 --> 00:40:01,888
for inviting a couple of Texan
businessmen they've never met before.
708
00:40:01,889 --> 00:40:04,138
Of course she's pissed off. She'll
end up looking after their wives.
709
00:40:04,139 --> 00:40:05,971
And she's right, it's
bang out of order.
710
00:40:05,972 --> 00:40:09,339
She didn't happen to mention
where they might be staying?
711
00:40:09,515 --> 00:40:11,222
'So what are we
stumbling into today?'
712
00:40:11,223 --> 00:40:14,013
The Carlton Hotel, Cannes.
Their guest list.
713
00:40:14,014 --> 00:40:17,388
We're looking for four guests
with home addresses in Texas.
714
00:40:17,389 --> 00:40:18,596
'Dad, that is so illegal.'
715
00:40:18,597 --> 00:40:22,097
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, son.
I wouldn't ask unless it was really...
716
00:40:22,098 --> 00:40:25,013
'Dad, I'm only kidding. We do
that sort of shit all the time,
717
00:40:25,014 --> 00:40:28,055
'messing with people's reservations,
putting people in the same room.'
718
00:40:28,056 --> 00:40:30,055
- Not good, Matt.
- No, no.
719
00:40:30,056 --> 00:40:31,922
'Hold on.'
720
00:40:32,473 --> 00:40:37,169
- Do you think his eyes looked a bit red-rimmed?
- Just a little.
721
00:40:43,514 --> 00:40:45,381
- Oh, he's not, is he?
- Yep.
722
00:40:46,722 --> 00:40:48,013
- Tyler!
- Tyer! Oi!
723
00:40:48,014 --> 00:40:50,180
- (WHISTLES)
- Tyler! Tyler! Hello!
724
00:40:50,181 --> 00:40:51,554
- 'Hello.'
- 'Hello.'
725
00:40:51,555 --> 00:40:54,638
You've got to be kidding me!
You guys, again.
726
00:40:54,639 --> 00:40:57,415
Nice to see you, Tyler.
727
00:40:57,597 --> 00:41:02,554
'OK, we've got one Mr and Mrs
Hicks of Houston, Texas.
728
00:41:02,555 --> 00:41:04,513
'They're assigned
to the Monet suite.
729
00:41:04,514 --> 00:41:08,006
'And one Mr and Mrs Baxter. They're
across the hall in the Manet suite.
730
00:41:08,264 --> 00:41:12,388
'Anyway, guys, I've got to go.
But the south of France?
731
00:41:12,389 --> 00:41:14,638
'I am loving my new glam parents.
732
00:41:14,639 --> 00:41:16,164
(WHISPERS) 'See you later.'
733
00:41:19,597 --> 00:41:22,305
- OK, so let me just get this straight.
- Hmm.
734
00:41:22,306 --> 00:41:25,763
We are going to kidnap four
Texans, pretend to be them,
735
00:41:25,764 --> 00:41:27,721
go to a wedding in a château,
736
00:41:27,722 --> 00:41:30,930
somehow swap out the necklace,
and make our escape?
737
00:41:30,931 --> 00:41:33,305
I know, it sounds absurd.
738
00:41:33,306 --> 00:41:38,263
- Absurd, yes. Crazy, daft, stupid.
- All right, all right.
739
00:41:38,264 --> 00:41:40,846
But brilliant.
740
00:41:40,847 --> 00:41:42,471
- Yeah?
- One small problem.
741
00:41:42,472 --> 00:41:45,263
There are four Texans
and we are but two.
742
00:41:45,264 --> 00:41:47,130
Ah.
743
00:41:48,348 --> 00:41:51,043
(♪ YOUNG MONEY: "Pass The Dutch")
744
00:41:54,181 --> 00:41:57,554
♪ Too many women
and not enough time
745
00:41:57,555 --> 00:42:00,596
♪ I'm a cool cat but
I'm on life nine
746
00:42:00,597 --> 00:42:03,471
♪ Gonna let that light shine,
ballin' for a lifetime
747
00:42:03,472 --> 00:42:07,013
♪ Smokin' on that nice pine,
wheezy baby flight flyin'
748
00:42:07,014 --> 00:42:09,805
♪ You can call him your
husband, call me at night time
749
00:42:09,806 --> 00:42:13,263
♪ And even though women change,
I will always like dimes
750
00:42:13,264 --> 00:42:16,388
♪ And, yeah, I'm quite fine,
but Shorty much finer
751
00:42:16,389 --> 00:42:19,513
♪ And I just get behind her
and smack it like E Honda
752
00:42:19,514 --> 00:42:22,471
♪ And please don't hate on me
when you see me with Kiana
753
00:42:22,472 --> 00:42:24,763
♪ Cos she wilder than Nirvana ♪
754
00:42:24,764 --> 00:42:26,554
- This is it.
- That's not ours.
755
00:42:26,555 --> 00:42:28,554
- It is ours.
- It's not ours.
756
00:42:28,555 --> 00:42:32,097
- Look, it is.
- Oh, shit, it is.
757
00:42:32,098 --> 00:42:34,387
- Mind your back.
- It's all right, I've got it. Ow!
758
00:42:34,388 --> 00:42:36,180
- There, there, there!
- Hey-hey-hey-hey!
759
00:42:36,181 --> 00:42:37,638
(SQUEALING)
760
00:42:37,639 --> 00:42:39,846
- Hello, old son!
- Welcome, welcome.
761
00:42:39,847 --> 00:42:41,554
- Good to see you, mate!
- Good to see you.
762
00:42:41,555 --> 00:42:45,055
I cannot tell you how happy we
are to see you back together.
763
00:42:45,056 --> 00:42:46,888
- Well, Pen...
- Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
764
00:42:46,889 --> 00:42:49,347
And I don't mind telling you, it's
been an absolute nightmare for us,
765
00:42:49,348 --> 00:42:50,763
having to choose between you.
766
00:42:50,764 --> 00:42:52,387
Damn shame, the whole
bloody business.
767
00:42:52,388 --> 00:42:55,209
Anyway, thrilled to be here,
glad to help. What are we doing?
768
00:42:55,223 --> 00:42:56,347
Well...
769
00:42:56,348 --> 00:43:01,669
(MUTED)
770
00:43:02,014 --> 00:43:06,210
- Kidnap? Stealing a diamond?
- Gatecrashing a wedding?
771
00:43:06,931 --> 00:43:09,387
- Can we have... a moment?
- It's a lot to take in.
772
00:43:09,388 --> 00:43:12,755
Talk about it. Go ahead.
I've got your bag.
773
00:43:14,264 --> 00:43:16,459
What do you think?
774
00:43:16,555 --> 00:43:19,001
- He's in. She's not.
- Probably.
775
00:43:20,764 --> 00:43:23,763
Well... all right, we're in.
776
00:43:23,764 --> 00:43:26,835
- Spot of lunch first?
- Yes!
777
00:43:39,722 --> 00:43:42,846
Right. Everyone clear on the plan?
778
00:43:42,847 --> 00:43:46,055
I tell you, I haven't been
this pumped since Shanghai.
779
00:43:46,056 --> 00:43:47,013
Shanghai?
780
00:43:47,014 --> 00:43:48,763
Yeah, you know, when I was
in the Merchant Navy?
781
00:43:48,764 --> 00:43:50,763
- Merchant Navy?
- Woman in every port, eh, Jerry?
782
00:43:50,764 --> 00:43:54,387
That sort of thing, yeah. It's
only a bit of boys' banter, Pen.
783
00:43:54,388 --> 00:43:56,387
Pen, are you sure
these are gonna work?
784
00:43:56,388 --> 00:43:58,180
Yes, three of those and
they'll be out like a baby.
785
00:43:58,181 --> 00:43:59,971
- Five minutes tops.
- I can vouch for that.
786
00:43:59,972 --> 00:44:02,888
- Who prescribes them for you?
- That lovely young Dr Jenkins.
787
00:44:02,889 --> 00:44:04,513
Oh, yes. I've heard he's lovely.
788
00:44:04,514 --> 00:44:07,846
Yes, terribly helpful.
And the warmest hands.
789
00:44:07,847 --> 00:44:09,638
Excuse me?
790
00:44:09,639 --> 00:44:11,513
How will we know who they are?
791
00:44:11,514 --> 00:44:12,638
(CHEERING)
792
00:44:12,639 --> 00:44:14,097
(KATE) Well, I think we'll know.
793
00:44:14,098 --> 00:44:15,971
Let's do this.
794
00:44:15,972 --> 00:44:19,338
(♪ THE CLASH: "I FOUGHT THE LAW")
795
00:44:28,347 --> 00:44:31,638
♪ Breakin' rocks in the hot sun
796
00:44:31,639 --> 00:44:34,262
♪ I fought the law and the law...
797
00:44:34,263 --> 00:44:38,210
- Sorry, I'm dying for a pee.
- Of course.
798
00:44:40,931 --> 00:44:43,797
Actually, I might go as well.
799
00:44:44,722 --> 00:44:47,097
You know what?
I need one too, actually.
800
00:44:47,098 --> 00:44:49,873
Well, it's never good to ignore it.
801
00:45:02,514 --> 00:45:03,888
♪ Breakin' rocks...
802
00:45:03,889 --> 00:45:05,180
Bienvenus.
803
00:45:05,181 --> 00:45:12,097
♪ I fought the law and the law won
804
00:45:12,098 --> 00:45:15,429
♪ I needed money cos I had none
805
00:45:15,430 --> 00:45:18,250
♪ I fought the law and the law won
806
00:45:18,597 --> 00:45:21,638
♪ I fought the law and the law won
807
00:45:21,639 --> 00:45:25,262
♪ I left my baby and
it feels so bad
808
00:45:25,263 --> 00:45:27,971
♪ I guess my race is run
809
00:45:27,972 --> 00:45:30,805
♪ She's the best
girl that I ever had
810
00:45:30,806 --> 00:45:34,513
♪ I fought the law and the law won
811
00:45:34,514 --> 00:45:36,880
♪ I fought the law and the...
812
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:47,097
♪ I fought the law and the law won
813
00:45:47,098 --> 00:45:49,293
♪ I fought the law and the... ♪
814
00:45:52,555 --> 00:45:55,679
(SQUEALING)
815
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,805
- That was incredible!
- We were incredible!
816
00:45:58,806 --> 00:46:01,097
Oh, God, I hope we didn't
tie their hands too tightly.
817
00:46:01,098 --> 00:46:02,554
Oh, do you think?
818
00:46:02,555 --> 00:46:07,055
That was insane. I haven't had
this much fun since I was in Guam.
819
00:46:07,056 --> 00:46:08,013
Guam?
820
00:46:08,014 --> 00:46:10,179
I was stationed there
during my military service.
821
00:46:10,180 --> 00:46:12,097
Oh, God!
822
00:46:12,098 --> 00:46:13,596
Jerry! That's stealing!
823
00:46:13,597 --> 00:46:16,930
Pen, Pen, Pen. This is real.
This is happening.
824
00:46:16,931 --> 00:46:20,501
We either step up
or we get crushed.
825
00:46:20,722 --> 00:46:22,679
- Silly man. Stop showing off.
- Right.
826
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:26,387
Let's pick up the replica necklace, back
to the hotel, cocktails and supper.
827
00:46:26,388 --> 00:46:29,584
(JERRY) Yee-ha! Ride 'em, cowboy.
828
00:46:31,847 --> 00:46:33,930
(KATE) Jerry, how on earth did
you know where to find someone
829
00:46:33,931 --> 00:46:35,888
who could make a replica necklace?
830
00:46:35,889 --> 00:46:38,221
(JERRY) Well, you know...
I have my contacts.
831
00:46:38,222 --> 00:46:40,513
(PEN) Contacts? No, Jerry we don't.
832
00:46:40,514 --> 00:46:44,971
(JERRY) Well, if you must know, I once
had a brief, er... affair of the heart
833
00:46:44,972 --> 00:46:46,596
with a young jewellery designer.
834
00:46:46,597 --> 00:46:50,638
(PEN) Affair of the heart with
a young jewellery designer!
835
00:46:50,639 --> 00:46:52,097
(KATE)
Calm down, Pen. It's all right.
836
00:46:52,098 --> 00:46:54,776
(JERRY) Yeah, don't worry, Pen.
It's all in the past, all forgotten.
837
00:46:55,263 --> 00:46:57,679
This is the basic
layout of the château.
838
00:46:57,680 --> 00:46:59,805
Do you know where all
the guards might be?
839
00:46:59,806 --> 00:47:02,387
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, yes.
840
00:47:02,388 --> 00:47:04,513
- No Jerry?
- No.
841
00:47:04,514 --> 00:47:06,097
Rushed off while I
was having a bath.
842
00:47:06,098 --> 00:47:10,096
Said he had to meet a man about
something. Very odd, the whole thing.
843
00:47:10,097 --> 00:47:12,429
Anyway, don't let him spoil this.
844
00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:15,096
This is lovely, seeing the two
of you being back together.
845
00:47:15,097 --> 00:47:18,748
Sorry, everyone. Got held up.
Quick little mission.
846
00:47:19,097 --> 00:47:22,638
I was just saying this is lovely and it's
lovely to see our friends back together.
847
00:47:22,639 --> 00:47:25,471
- Pen, can we get back to the plan?
- Absolument. Pardon.
848
00:47:25,472 --> 00:47:28,262
Now, this is where the guests
will be making their entrance.
849
00:47:28,263 --> 00:47:30,471
And we will be required to
show our invitations here.
850
00:47:30,472 --> 00:47:33,096
Now, you are going to be the
Baxters and we will be the Hicks.
851
00:47:33,097 --> 00:47:36,055
- And actually, Matt... Cheers.
- Cheers, everyone.
852
00:47:36,056 --> 00:47:38,304
Matt has done some
research into each couple.
853
00:47:38,305 --> 00:47:39,930
- Hey! Your Matt?
- Our Matt.
854
00:47:39,931 --> 00:47:42,013
- Such a bright boy.
- Thank you.
855
00:47:42,014 --> 00:47:43,888
Not like our Tim, is he?
856
00:47:43,889 --> 00:47:45,846
- That's disloyal, Jerry.
- Well, I was just being honest.
857
00:47:45,847 --> 00:47:48,971
He's an academic disaster zone,
isn't he? Police tape all around him.
858
00:47:48,972 --> 00:47:50,304
Jerry!
859
00:47:50,305 --> 00:47:53,513
Now, we know that the bride will retire to
her bedroom at some point during the night
860
00:47:53,514 --> 00:47:56,262
to change her frock and the new frock
will be accompanied by the diamond.
861
00:47:56,263 --> 00:47:59,638
Now, hopefully, Richard and I will
have gained access through here.
862
00:47:59,639 --> 00:48:03,262
We'll attempt to swap out the diamond,
delivering the real one into your arms, Jerry.
863
00:48:03,263 --> 00:48:06,221
Now, you two will leave the party
early and if anything happens to us,
864
00:48:06,222 --> 00:48:08,304
if we get caught, we're
just a disgruntled employee
865
00:48:08,305 --> 00:48:09,596
and his pushy ex-wife
866
00:48:09,597 --> 00:48:11,638
who've had their pensions
stolen and won't go away.
867
00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:15,346
They'll find nothing on
us and they'll let us go.
868
00:48:15,347 --> 00:48:17,054
- Right.
- Or they'll kill us.
869
00:48:17,055 --> 00:48:18,888
Chop us up and throw us in the Med.
870
00:48:18,889 --> 00:48:20,596
- Oh, God.
- Richard!
871
00:48:20,597 --> 00:48:23,838
It's out there. It's a possibility.
872
00:48:26,180 --> 00:48:29,846
Jerry, why do you keep winking at
Richard and patting your pocket?
873
00:48:29,847 --> 00:48:32,429
What? What are you talking about?
Nothing. I'm not doing anything.
874
00:48:32,430 --> 00:48:33,971
I know when you're lying.
875
00:48:33,972 --> 00:48:36,179
Get off me, woman. Whey-hey!
What are you doing, woman?
876
00:48:36,180 --> 00:48:39,171
- Hey! Ho-ho!
- (WHISPERS) God, he's got a gun!
877
00:48:39,764 --> 00:48:40,888
What?
878
00:48:40,889 --> 00:48:43,096
Don't advertise it to the
whole flipping restaurant!
879
00:48:43,097 --> 00:48:45,471
Why have you got a gun and why
have you brought it to dinner?
880
00:48:45,472 --> 00:48:47,179
- (JERRY) Are you crazy?
- Crazy? Me?
881
00:48:47,180 --> 00:48:51,179
- Kate, Richard, talk to him.
- Jerry, actually, why have you got a gun?
882
00:48:51,180 --> 00:48:55,221
It's a replica. Calm down. We just
thought it was a good idea, that's all.
883
00:48:55,222 --> 00:48:57,096
It's a real one, actually. They
didn't have any replicas left.
884
00:48:57,097 --> 00:49:00,429
- Bloody hell.
- We? So you're behind this brilliant plan?
885
00:49:00,430 --> 00:49:02,638
Richard, have you led Jerry astray?
886
00:49:02,639 --> 00:49:05,763
- What? No! It was his idea.
- Led me astray? I'm not a flipping child.
887
00:49:05,764 --> 00:49:07,179
They were my contacts.
888
00:49:07,180 --> 00:49:10,513
Jerry, where did you get this?
I demand to know!
889
00:49:10,514 --> 00:49:14,763
Well, it's someone I
knew a long time ago.
890
00:49:14,764 --> 00:49:17,596
I was passing through
France on my way to Guam.
891
00:49:17,597 --> 00:49:20,554
How come I don't know anything about this?
I've been married to you for 35 years, Jerry.
892
00:49:20,555 --> 00:49:23,012
- You've completely spoiled the whole evening.
- All right, love.
893
00:49:23,013 --> 00:49:25,254
- Have some more wine.
- Just have a bit more wine.
894
00:49:26,514 --> 00:49:28,387
Let's at least see it, then.
895
00:49:28,388 --> 00:49:30,262
- Yeah, let's have a look.
- See what?
896
00:49:30,263 --> 00:49:32,888
- The gun, Jerry.
- What? You want to see it?
897
00:49:32,889 --> 00:49:35,346
- I do, actually.
- Let's have a look. Come on.
898
00:49:35,347 --> 00:49:37,346
- Come on, then.
- All right.
899
00:49:37,347 --> 00:49:40,346
- All right.
- Nobody's watching.
900
00:49:40,347 --> 00:49:43,497
(COUGHS) Hey-hey! Have a look at that.
All right, all right. One at a time!
901
00:49:45,472 --> 00:49:47,668
Whoops, sorry.
902
00:49:48,097 --> 00:49:49,873
(KATE) Oh!
903
00:49:55,055 --> 00:49:57,429
Freeze, you melon farmers.
904
00:49:57,430 --> 00:49:59,262
- Steady, Pen.
- Oh, sorry.
905
00:49:59,263 --> 00:50:00,387
(RICHARD) Put it down.
906
00:50:00,388 --> 00:50:01,429
(GUNSHOT)
907
00:50:01,430 --> 00:50:02,705
Jesus Christ!
908
00:50:04,472 --> 00:50:06,012
All right, er...
909
00:50:06,013 --> 00:50:08,054
- Out the door. Shall we?
- Yeah. Drink up.
910
00:50:08,055 --> 00:50:09,679
(IN FRENCH) The bill, please.
911
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:11,638
Well, that was
something, wasn't it?
912
00:50:11,639 --> 00:50:13,763
- Do you'll think we'll get arrested?
- No.
913
00:50:13,764 --> 00:50:15,387
Oi, chaps, chaps. Good news.
914
00:50:15,388 --> 00:50:18,429
I've just been talking to the owner.
Turns out we were in the Legion together.
915
00:50:18,430 --> 00:50:21,012
He says if we, er... pay for
the wine, everything's OK.
916
00:50:21,013 --> 00:50:23,054
- Fantastic.
- Oh, fabulous.
917
00:50:23,055 --> 00:50:27,179
- I feel a bit giddy, Jerry.
- Oh, I say! You all right there, Pen?
918
00:50:27,180 --> 00:50:29,471
- Bedtime for us all.
- Right-o.
919
00:50:29,472 --> 00:50:31,247
- Good night, then.
- Good night.
920
00:50:33,305 --> 00:50:37,554
- What are you doing?
- Well... they seem so happy.
921
00:50:37,555 --> 00:50:40,554
You know, with the idea of us.
922
00:50:40,555 --> 00:50:43,221
I don't want to spoil it
for them, that's all.
923
00:50:43,222 --> 00:50:46,638
Just... oh... just...
924
00:50:46,639 --> 00:50:48,304
Just...
925
00:50:48,305 --> 00:50:51,262
Oh... Oh!
926
00:50:51,263 --> 00:50:53,709
Oh, that feels good.
927
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,875
Do you think we're
doing the right thing?
928
00:50:59,514 --> 00:51:03,805
You know, diamond
stealing and kidnapping.
929
00:51:03,806 --> 00:51:06,752
Without a shadow of a doubt.
930
00:51:08,597 --> 00:51:10,962
Sit down for a minute.
931
00:51:19,971 --> 00:51:22,337
I said sit.
932
00:51:25,013 --> 00:51:27,505
Lying down is fine too.
933
00:51:28,097 --> 00:51:30,929
Pen and I had a gin, doubles.
934
00:51:30,930 --> 00:51:34,346
I just can't take it. I can't take my
booze anymore. That's the thing.
935
00:51:34,347 --> 00:51:38,589
Well... it just whips my arse.
936
00:51:38,722 --> 00:51:41,596
You're much more likeable
these days, you know?
937
00:51:41,597 --> 00:51:44,463
That's nice. Thanks.
938
00:51:45,764 --> 00:51:47,959
So are you.
939
00:51:48,764 --> 00:51:51,959
We were much too young when we met.
940
00:51:53,639 --> 00:51:56,834
We should have met now instead.
941
00:51:59,263 --> 00:52:02,459
I don't think it works like that.
942
00:52:04,514 --> 00:52:06,380
Why not?
943
00:52:10,888 --> 00:52:15,334
Why did the latest one leave you?
944
00:52:19,097 --> 00:52:21,122
She didn't, actually.
945
00:52:22,388 --> 00:52:24,754
I left her.
946
00:52:28,388 --> 00:52:30,129
Hmm.
947
00:52:32,055 --> 00:52:34,346
- How's your back?
- Terrible.
948
00:52:34,347 --> 00:52:36,872
How's your bunions?
949
00:52:37,222 --> 00:52:39,748
Oh, excruciating.
950
00:52:41,388 --> 00:52:43,913
Sweet dreams.
951
00:52:44,555 --> 00:52:46,751
Night-night.
952
00:52:49,055 --> 00:52:50,921
- (SNORTS)
- Oh.
953
00:52:52,763 --> 00:52:55,970
- Oh, God! We didn't, did we?
- No.
954
00:52:55,971 --> 00:52:59,167
Oh! Thank God.
955
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,804
You don't have to sound
so relieved about it.
956
00:53:01,805 --> 00:53:03,672
(MOBILE PINGS)
957
00:53:06,930 --> 00:53:08,554
Oh.
958
00:53:08,555 --> 00:53:10,179
(SIGHS)
959
00:53:10,180 --> 00:53:13,830
I haven't had sex for two years.
I'd like to have remembered it.
960
00:53:17,888 --> 00:53:21,721
Jerry, try this. Please,
cos it's so juicy. Go on.
961
00:53:21,722 --> 00:53:23,845
See what I mean? Gorgeous.
962
00:53:23,846 --> 00:53:25,804
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Here he is.
963
00:53:25,805 --> 00:53:27,012
- Hello.
- The stallion.
964
00:53:27,013 --> 00:53:29,596
Didn't get much sleep last
night, old son, did you?
965
00:53:29,597 --> 00:53:32,638
- Oh, Jerry.
- Oh, the old bed did shake, eh?
966
00:53:32,639 --> 00:53:35,429
- Only my snoring, Jerry. That's all it was.
- Right you are.
967
00:53:35,430 --> 00:53:38,471
Looks like we've got a bit of a problem.
Matt did some digging around last night.
968
00:53:38,472 --> 00:53:40,970
Apparently there are going
to be fingerprint sensors
969
00:53:40,971 --> 00:53:42,179
at the entrance to the party.
970
00:53:42,180 --> 00:53:44,720
Everyone's going to be scanned
before they're allowed in.
971
00:53:44,721 --> 00:53:47,304
- It's worse than Fort Knox.
- Mm-hmm.
972
00:53:47,305 --> 00:53:51,046
We could shave off their fingertips
and stick them onto ours.
973
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:54,179
The Texans, I mean.
I saw it in a film once.
974
00:53:54,180 --> 00:53:56,304
- Pen...
- Oh, sorry.
975
00:53:56,305 --> 00:53:58,929
- I do get carried away.
- Good to think outside the box.
976
00:53:58,930 --> 00:54:01,096
We should go with something a
bit more mainstream, though.
977
00:54:01,097 --> 00:54:02,720
- Can everyone swim?
- Yes.
978
00:54:02,721 --> 00:54:05,096
- How about climbing?
- Have you ever climbed, Jerry?
979
00:54:05,097 --> 00:54:06,471
- He has not.
- Yeah, I have.
980
00:54:06,472 --> 00:54:07,970
- I have.
- Jerry! When?
981
00:54:07,971 --> 00:54:11,471
- When?
- I was in the Australian Parachute Regiment.
982
00:54:11,472 --> 00:54:16,043
(♪ WHISKEY DIX: "TAKING
CARE OF BUSINESS")
983
00:54:16,514 --> 00:54:17,970
7:28.
984
00:54:17,971 --> 00:54:19,678
- 7:32.
- 7:32.
985
00:54:19,679 --> 00:54:20,887
6:30.
986
00:54:20,888 --> 00:54:23,513
- Jerry, you're still on English time.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
987
00:54:23,514 --> 00:54:25,596
OK, let's do this.
988
00:54:25,597 --> 00:54:28,596
♪ You get up every morning from
your alarm clock's warning
989
00:54:28,597 --> 00:54:31,804
♪ Take the 8:15 into the city
990
00:54:31,805 --> 00:54:35,012
♪ There's a whistle up above,
people pushin', people shovin'
991
00:54:35,013 --> 00:54:38,221
♪ And the girls who
try to look pretty
992
00:54:38,222 --> 00:54:41,762
♪ And if your train's on time
you can get to work by nine
993
00:54:41,763 --> 00:54:44,513
♪ And start your slaving
job to get your pay
994
00:54:44,514 --> 00:54:48,012
♪ If you ever get annoyed
look at me, I'm self-employed
995
00:54:48,013 --> 00:54:51,221
♪ I love to work at nothin' all day
996
00:54:51,222 --> 00:54:54,429
♪ And I'll be taking care
of business every day
997
00:54:54,430 --> 00:54:57,678
♪ Taking care of business every way
998
00:54:57,679 --> 00:55:00,970
♪ I'll be taking care of
business, it's all mine
999
00:55:00,971 --> 00:55:03,887
♪ Taking care of business
and working overtime
1000
00:55:03,888 --> 00:55:06,084
♪ Work out
1001
00:55:10,013 --> 00:55:13,471
♪ If it were easy as fishing
you could be a musician
1002
00:55:13,472 --> 00:55:16,596
♪ If you could make
sounds loud or mellow
1003
00:55:16,597 --> 00:55:19,845
♪ Get a second-hand guitar,
chances are you'll go far
1004
00:55:19,846 --> 00:55:22,845
♪ If you get in with the
right bunch of fellows...
1005
00:55:22,846 --> 00:55:25,262
Jerry! Jerry!
1006
00:55:25,263 --> 00:55:27,083
You're going the wrong way.
1007
00:55:28,388 --> 00:55:29,929
Right you are.
1008
00:55:29,930 --> 00:55:33,304
♪ It's the work that we avoid
and we're all self-employed
1009
00:55:33,305 --> 00:55:35,580
♪ We love to work at
nothing all day ♪
1010
00:55:39,263 --> 00:55:41,038
(GASPS)
1011
00:56:02,055 --> 00:56:03,678
- (JERRY) Pen!
- (PEN) Jerry!
1012
00:56:03,679 --> 00:56:05,012
- (JERRY) Ow!
- (PEN) Ow!
1013
00:56:05,013 --> 00:56:06,708
What on earth are you doing?
1014
00:56:07,263 --> 00:56:10,129
- (PEN SCREAMING) Jerry!
- (JERRY) It's OK.
1015
00:56:27,805 --> 00:56:28,929
(GRUNTS)
1016
00:56:28,930 --> 00:56:30,796
- All right?
- Yeah.
1017
00:56:33,097 --> 00:56:36,595
Oh... Oh, Jesus.
1018
00:56:36,596 --> 00:56:39,621
You're scared of heights. How
could I forget? Are you all right?
1019
00:56:40,097 --> 00:56:42,346
I'm fine, thank you.
1020
00:56:42,347 --> 00:56:44,637
- Pen, you're squashing my head!
- Ssh, ssh!
1021
00:56:44,638 --> 00:56:46,834
(PEN) I'm sorry, darling.
1022
00:56:54,805 --> 00:56:56,012
(GROANS)
1023
00:56:56,013 --> 00:56:59,179
- Ssh, ssh, ssh!
- I've got you. I'm here.
1024
00:56:59,180 --> 00:57:02,096
Well done, Jerry.
1025
00:57:02,097 --> 00:57:03,963
Right.
1026
00:57:04,055 --> 00:57:07,012
- Have you got the gun?
- No, sorry, Richard.
1027
00:57:07,013 --> 00:57:09,553
I put my foot down. I just
decided it was too dangerous.
1028
00:57:09,554 --> 00:57:11,887
- Quite right.
- I simply don't trust myself around it.
1029
00:57:11,888 --> 00:57:14,429
But I made sandwiches, egg mayo.
Anyone hungry?
1030
00:57:14,430 --> 00:57:17,012
- Oh, great, I'm starving.
- Pen, I think we should get on.
1031
00:57:17,013 --> 00:57:18,970
Yeah, come on, this way.
1032
00:57:18,971 --> 00:57:20,996
(PEN) Stay close to me, Jerry.
1033
00:57:49,263 --> 00:57:50,929
You look fine in that hat.
1034
00:57:50,930 --> 00:57:53,304
(ANNOUNCER IN FRENCH)
Mr and Mrs Chambord, from Qatar.
1035
00:57:53,305 --> 00:57:54,678
- Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.
1036
00:57:54,679 --> 00:57:57,125
(ANNOUNCER)
Mr Chabert, from Bordeaux.
1037
00:57:57,846 --> 00:58:01,213
Mr and Mrs Ossman, from Hanoi.
1038
00:58:01,222 --> 00:58:03,387
- (MRS OSSMAN IN FRENCH) Congratulations.
- (KRUGER) Merci.
1039
00:58:03,388 --> 00:58:05,262
(CONTINUES IN FRENCH)
Thanks for coming.
1040
00:58:05,263 --> 00:58:09,553
Mr and Mrs Hicks and Mr and Mrs
Baxter from Houston, Texas.
1041
00:58:09,554 --> 00:58:11,804
- (TEXAN ACCENT) Ah, that's us!
- (TEXAN ACCENT) Hey! Bonsoir.
1042
00:58:11,805 --> 00:58:14,346
- So glad you made it. Long way to come.
- Howdy partner!
1043
00:58:14,347 --> 00:58:17,470
- Real great to be here.
- We'll find time to talk later. Welcome.
1044
00:58:17,471 --> 00:58:19,762
Of course, this is not
really a wedding.
1045
00:58:19,763 --> 00:58:21,929
- It's a chance to do some business.
- Sweetheart.
1046
00:58:21,930 --> 00:58:25,054
Well, you're not to bore us with all that
oil talk. I'm here to have some fun.
1047
00:58:25,055 --> 00:58:28,762
Oh, we like fun, don't we?
Come along, missy.
1048
00:58:28,763 --> 00:58:31,959
Thank you. It's a
mighty fine château.
1049
00:58:32,846 --> 00:58:35,496
(ANNOUNCER)
Mr and Mrs Beltrami, from Rome.
1050
00:58:40,055 --> 00:58:44,046
- I think that went quite well.
- For now.
1051
00:58:44,263 --> 00:58:46,720
Let's blend in.
1052
00:58:46,721 --> 00:58:50,262
Darling, I need to powder my nose. Would
you be so kind as to accompany me?
1053
00:58:50,263 --> 00:58:52,387
- It would be my pleasure.
- Thank you.
1054
00:58:52,388 --> 00:58:54,346
- Ey-up.
- Jerry!
1055
00:58:54,347 --> 00:58:58,595
Merci. Well, Kate said
to blend in, didn't she?
1056
00:58:58,596 --> 00:59:01,338
- Here's to us.
- Yeah.
1057
00:59:05,387 --> 00:59:06,512
(PANTS)
1058
00:59:06,513 --> 00:59:08,470
- Which floor?
- (WHISPERS) Second floor.
1059
00:59:08,471 --> 00:59:10,338
Right.
1060
00:59:11,846 --> 00:59:13,712
Right.
1061
00:59:16,097 --> 00:59:18,293
Back in a tick.
1062
00:59:45,387 --> 00:59:51,413
(WHISPERS) That's it, that's her
room. OK, Jerry. 30 seconds.
1063
00:59:52,554 --> 00:59:55,386
Howdy, partner! How ya doin' there?
1064
00:59:55,387 --> 00:59:58,553
- (WHISPERS) Come on.
- I'm looking for the old John Wayne.
1065
00:59:58,554 --> 01:00:04,345
The, er... pissoir, the,
er... bog crapper? Any idea?
1066
01:00:04,346 --> 01:00:07,213
Sorry, sir, downstairs.
This floor is private.
1067
01:00:12,930 --> 01:00:15,929
Her window's open and there's
a ledge running to it.
1068
01:00:15,930 --> 01:00:17,553
A ledge? Ledge?
1069
01:00:17,554 --> 01:00:20,750
More like a balcony. Hold those.
1070
01:00:34,304 --> 01:00:36,830
- Slow, slow, slow.
- I am going slow.
1071
01:00:38,263 --> 01:00:40,720
- Don't look down.
- I'm not bloody looking down.
1072
01:00:40,721 --> 01:00:43,167
Oh... Oh!
1073
01:00:44,846 --> 01:00:46,428
Turn around, turn around.
1074
01:00:46,429 --> 01:00:51,470
See? Turn around. There you go.
That's it. You're all right now.
1075
01:00:51,471 --> 01:00:54,963
(RICHARD) This is good. I got it.
1076
01:00:57,055 --> 01:00:58,845
(WHISPERS) Well done. Well done.
1077
01:00:58,846 --> 01:01:02,712
You're being very brave.
You're being very, very brave.
1078
01:01:03,554 --> 01:01:05,750
- Oh!
- Oh!
1079
01:01:06,679 --> 01:01:08,261
Oh, fuck!
1080
01:01:08,262 --> 01:01:09,470
Wait, wait, wait.
1081
01:01:09,471 --> 01:01:11,917
I've got you. I've got you.
1082
01:01:13,888 --> 01:01:17,584
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1083
01:01:33,471 --> 01:01:36,587
- Cats.
- And flowers.
1084
01:01:52,346 --> 01:01:54,963
(IN FRENCH) The 19th century.
1085
01:01:56,638 --> 01:01:59,470
I'm gonna get changed.
1086
01:01:59,471 --> 01:02:01,246
Excusez-moi.
1087
01:02:04,596 --> 01:02:06,746
(IN FRENCH) Go with her.
1088
01:02:16,638 --> 01:02:18,834
(DOOR SLAMS)
1089
01:02:37,304 --> 01:02:38,670
Ssh...
1090
01:02:40,805 --> 01:02:43,375
(MUFFLED SNEEZE AND MIAOWING)
1091
01:02:48,387 --> 01:02:50,595
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1092
01:02:50,596 --> 01:02:52,386
I'm coming.
1093
01:02:52,387 --> 01:02:54,386
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
1094
01:02:54,387 --> 01:02:57,754
(SHOUTING) Come in! Entrez!
1095
01:03:18,055 --> 01:03:19,845
What?
1096
01:03:19,846 --> 01:03:22,386
- You want to watch me get dressed now?
- Eh?
1097
01:03:22,387 --> 01:03:24,753
Get out! Get out!
1098
01:03:34,679 --> 01:03:37,454
(RICHARD WHISPERING)
She just... OK.
1099
01:03:41,679 --> 01:03:43,454
Ssh!
1100
01:03:44,554 --> 01:03:45,678
(GASPS)
1101
01:03:45,679 --> 01:03:48,845
Oh, sorry. You're probably
wondering what I am doing.
1102
01:03:48,846 --> 01:03:52,054
- It's not...
- I'm so glad you're here.
1103
01:03:52,055 --> 01:03:53,386
Oh, there, there.
1104
01:03:53,387 --> 01:03:58,470
Now, just sit down and tell Auntie...
Miriam all your worries.
1105
01:03:58,471 --> 01:04:00,095
What's the matter?
1106
01:04:00,096 --> 01:04:03,261
(MANON)
I've made a terrible mistake.
1107
01:04:03,262 --> 01:04:07,012
He does not love me.
He never has and he never will.
1108
01:04:07,013 --> 01:04:09,678
I've sold myself to the devil.
1109
01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:13,929
- I'm a whore. I'm a devil's whore.
- No, no, you're not.
1110
01:04:13,930 --> 01:04:16,929
- No, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.
1111
01:04:16,930 --> 01:04:19,386
No, no, no, you're not.
Of course you're not.
1112
01:04:19,387 --> 01:04:24,678
Yes, I am. I'm a terrible,
horrible, shallow person.
1113
01:04:24,679 --> 01:04:27,303
I am a fake. I am a fake.
1114
01:04:27,304 --> 01:04:30,762
I am a fake. I am a fake.
1115
01:04:30,763 --> 01:04:32,261
No, don't say that about yourself.
1116
01:04:32,262 --> 01:04:37,929
From what I can tell, you're a highly original,
slightly highly strung, bright, imaginative girl.
1117
01:04:37,930 --> 01:04:39,386
- Really?
- Yes.
1118
01:04:39,387 --> 01:04:41,845
- You really think so?
- I do. I do. Really.
1119
01:04:41,846 --> 01:04:45,095
That is the nicest thing
anyone has ever said to me.
1120
01:04:45,096 --> 01:04:49,386
Oh, no! Oh, thank you.
Thank you, you're so nice.
1121
01:04:49,387 --> 01:04:51,207
- No, I'm not, really.
- (MANON WEEPS)
1122
01:04:56,721 --> 01:05:00,762
(IN FRENCH) Please excuse me.
I'll be right back. Sorry.
1123
01:05:00,763 --> 01:05:03,083
There, there, Manon.
1124
01:05:04,096 --> 01:05:05,762
Why are you crying?
1125
01:05:05,763 --> 01:05:09,762
- Me? Oh, it's the flowers. I'm, er... allergic.
- Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.
1126
01:05:09,763 --> 01:05:11,804
- It's all right.
- Oh.
1127
01:05:11,805 --> 01:05:14,095
No, no, no, Manon.
It's fine, really.
1128
01:05:14,096 --> 01:05:19,622
- No, don't do that.
- Bloody things! I don't like them anyway.
1129
01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:34,053
- What would you do?
- Me?
1130
01:05:34,054 --> 01:05:38,470
Yes. You're clearly a woman of the
world. What do you think of him?
1131
01:05:38,471 --> 01:05:40,095
- Your husband?
- Yes.
1132
01:05:40,096 --> 01:05:44,720
- Well, I mean, he's fine. He's...
- Fine?
1133
01:05:44,721 --> 01:05:47,386
Actually, I think
he's a bit callous.
1134
01:05:47,387 --> 01:05:50,887
I'm sorry, I think
you could do better.
1135
01:05:50,888 --> 01:05:52,678
I think he probably...
1136
01:05:52,679 --> 01:05:56,220
I think he probably treats you
like a piece of jewellery.
1137
01:05:56,221 --> 01:05:57,887
I think he probably
treats you badly.
1138
01:05:57,888 --> 01:06:01,887
That's not to say he can't change.
I mean, they can change. People do change.
1139
01:06:01,888 --> 01:06:07,386
But it's easy to say I love you while
you're rolling around on expensive sheets.
1140
01:06:07,387 --> 01:06:11,253
It's so much harder
when they need washing.
1141
01:06:14,054 --> 01:06:19,178
Look, I'm not who you think I am. I'm
sorry, I'm not Miriam from Weymouth.
1142
01:06:19,179 --> 01:06:22,720
I'm not even Katie from Texas.
I'm just Kate from Surrey.
1143
01:06:22,721 --> 01:06:25,512
And my ex-husband is lying on the
floor next to your bed, I'm afraid.
1144
01:06:25,513 --> 01:06:27,345
- He is?
- Yep.
1145
01:06:27,346 --> 01:06:30,246
Oh! Hello.
1146
01:06:30,679 --> 01:06:33,303
- Hi.
- And why are you crying?
1147
01:06:33,304 --> 01:06:35,929
The cats. But don't throw
them out the window.
1148
01:06:35,929 --> 01:06:41,762
- Oh, he's really handsome.
- I know. It's irritating.
1149
01:06:41,763 --> 01:06:44,470
- Not sure about the moustache.
- I agree.
1150
01:06:44,471 --> 01:06:47,345
The thing is, you see, your
husband stole something from us
1151
01:06:47,346 --> 01:06:49,053
and from a lot of other
very good people.
1152
01:06:49,054 --> 01:06:52,345
Something very valuable
to us: our future.
1153
01:06:52,346 --> 01:06:58,969
And so we came here tonight to take
back what we feel is rightfully ours.
1154
01:06:58,970 --> 01:07:00,969
Oh. The diamond.
1155
01:07:00,970 --> 01:07:04,470
- It's not very imaginative, I grant you.
- Sorry, my back was killing me.
1156
01:07:04,471 --> 01:07:05,762
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1157
01:07:05,763 --> 01:07:10,470
- Manon, open up. It's Vincent.
- Take it. I don't like it anyway.
1158
01:07:10,471 --> 01:07:13,337
Great. Here's the fake.
1159
01:07:15,513 --> 01:07:16,969
Manon!
1160
01:07:16,970 --> 01:07:18,512
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
1161
01:07:18,513 --> 01:07:20,288
What?
1162
01:07:24,429 --> 01:07:26,386
Why are you throwing
flowers out the window?
1163
01:07:26,387 --> 01:07:30,583
I'm allergic. Don't you
know anything about me?
1164
01:07:32,513 --> 01:07:37,334
You must take good care of this.
It's not a toy, it's very valuable.
1165
01:07:37,721 --> 01:07:39,928
- More valuable than me?
- (TUTS)
1166
01:07:39,929 --> 01:07:46,095
Darling, there is nothing on earth that is
more valuable to me than me... than you!
1167
01:07:46,096 --> 01:07:48,496
You should know that.
1168
01:07:52,513 --> 01:07:57,254
And will you still love me even
when we are washing the sheets?
1169
01:08:00,596 --> 01:08:02,462
(GASPS)
1170
01:08:04,845 --> 01:08:06,746
Ssh!
1171
01:08:10,346 --> 01:08:11,595
What are you doing?
1172
01:08:11,596 --> 01:08:13,512
I don't know. I thought
you were about to sneeze.
1173
01:08:13,513 --> 01:08:16,754
- Causing a distraction's supposed to stop it.
- That's hiccups.
1174
01:08:16,929 --> 01:08:19,375
Ah... yes.
1175
01:08:20,346 --> 01:08:22,962
I might sneeze again.
1176
01:08:28,262 --> 01:08:30,553
What are we doing?
We've got to get out of here.
1177
01:08:30,554 --> 01:08:32,470
Oh, OK.
1178
01:08:32,471 --> 01:08:34,746
- What, back the way we came?
- Yes!
1179
01:08:53,429 --> 01:08:57,512
- Oh! Sorry, old partner.
- Sorry, sorry.
1180
01:08:57,513 --> 01:08:59,037
Yeah, howdy.
1181
01:09:05,179 --> 01:09:10,011
Although not on the official schedule, my
new wife would like to say a few words.
1182
01:09:10,012 --> 01:09:12,162
(APPLAUSE)
1183
01:09:12,513 --> 01:09:18,637
A wise woman once told me that
you can love your husband
1184
01:09:18,638 --> 01:09:20,928
but you must also like him.
1185
01:09:20,929 --> 01:09:24,386
(APPLAUSE)
1186
01:09:24,387 --> 01:09:26,637
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1187
01:09:26,638 --> 01:09:30,754
And I finally realised that...
1188
01:09:32,054 --> 01:09:37,501
I don't love Vincent
or even like him.
1189
01:09:39,762 --> 01:09:43,379
So Vincent, darling...
1190
01:09:44,638 --> 01:09:46,753
I want a divorce.
1191
01:09:50,429 --> 01:09:52,124
- (MOUTHING)
- (INDISTINCT WHISPER)
1192
01:09:57,096 --> 01:10:02,213
Stop! Stop! There's been
a travesty of justice.
1193
01:10:04,012 --> 01:10:05,969
(IN FRENCH) Catch them!
1194
01:10:05,970 --> 01:10:07,336
Catch them!
1195
01:10:08,929 --> 01:10:12,455
Hey! Vive la révolution!
1196
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:15,086
Vive la révolution!
1197
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:17,496
Oh!
1198
01:10:18,929 --> 01:10:22,045
- Oh, my God, no!
- No, no.
1199
01:10:31,513 --> 01:10:33,663
- Sorry, sorry.
- Sorry.
1200
01:10:33,970 --> 01:10:35,428
Ooh! Ow!
1201
01:10:35,429 --> 01:10:38,954
I knew there was something
familiar about you.
1202
01:10:38,970 --> 01:10:40,844
Ooh!
1203
01:10:40,845 --> 01:10:42,178
Ow!
1204
01:10:42,179 --> 01:10:43,954
Oh, no! They're real.
1205
01:10:44,346 --> 01:10:49,969
OK, let's make this simple.
Where is the real diamond?
1206
01:10:49,970 --> 01:10:52,261
(BEEPING)
1207
01:10:52,262 --> 01:10:54,803
Bloody hell.
1208
01:10:54,804 --> 01:10:58,000
(BEEPING AND SCANNING)
1209
01:11:01,929 --> 01:11:04,637
- Oh!
- Oh, that's a whole other level of pain.
1210
01:11:04,638 --> 01:11:09,595
Look, we're just a disgruntled employee and
his pushy wife who want back what's theirs.
1211
01:11:09,596 --> 01:11:11,719
- You didn't say ex-wife.
- No, I didn't, did I?
1212
01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:13,595
- Mmm...
- We should focus.
1213
01:11:13,596 --> 01:11:16,246
- Right.
- Have you ever heard of karma?
1214
01:11:16,929 --> 01:11:19,969
Perhaps you're being punished
for all the bad things
1215
01:11:19,970 --> 01:11:23,120
that you might have
done in your life.
1216
01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:25,844
(SIGHS)
1217
01:11:25,845 --> 01:11:27,870
It's just a thought.
1218
01:11:28,720 --> 01:11:32,178
Oh, no! That's just mean!
You're just being a bully now!
1219
01:11:32,179 --> 01:11:34,500
Be grateful, I don't hit women.
1220
01:11:35,054 --> 01:11:39,375
Now, tell me where my diamond is!
1221
01:11:48,346 --> 01:11:52,463
(GULPING)
1222
01:11:52,804 --> 01:11:54,928
(BURPS)
1223
01:11:54,929 --> 01:11:57,295
I swallowed it.
1224
01:11:58,096 --> 01:12:00,178
I sold the diamond.
1225
01:12:00,179 --> 01:12:01,512
What?
1226
01:12:01,513 --> 01:12:04,584
I swapped it and sold the real one.
1227
01:12:05,387 --> 01:12:10,261
Gave the money to charity,
an orphanage in Calcutta.
1228
01:12:10,262 --> 01:12:11,928
What? Why?
1229
01:12:11,929 --> 01:12:14,636
A test, to see if you
really loved me.
1230
01:12:14,637 --> 01:12:17,553
You're crazy. I'll
deal with you later.
1231
01:12:17,554 --> 01:12:20,204
Get rid of them.
1232
01:12:20,554 --> 01:12:21,719
Oh, no.
1233
01:12:21,720 --> 01:12:24,220
OK, er...
1234
01:12:24,221 --> 01:12:26,803
If I'd known, I'd have
worn better underwear.
1235
01:12:26,804 --> 01:12:29,386
I don't think it's your underwear
you should be worrying about, Pen.
1236
01:12:29,387 --> 01:12:31,345
- These things reveal everything.
- What do you mean?
1237
01:12:31,346 --> 01:12:34,371
- Yeah, every nook and cranny.
- Oh, God!
1238
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,665
What are you looking at?
1239
01:12:39,970 --> 01:12:42,916
Damn cheek!
1240
01:12:46,346 --> 01:12:50,463
(ALARM GOES OFF)
1241
01:12:51,179 --> 01:12:53,053
Oh, yes, that's, er... Saigon,
1242
01:12:53,054 --> 01:12:56,552
Vietnam, 1964.
1243
01:12:56,553 --> 01:12:59,095
Took a bit of shrapnel, yeah.
1244
01:12:59,096 --> 01:13:02,837
Bloody hell, they left some forceps
in there. Look, the clamp's in there.
1245
01:13:03,262 --> 01:13:04,677
- I didn't know that.
- (IN FRENCH) You can go.
1246
01:13:04,678 --> 01:13:06,203
Bloody Vietnam.
1247
01:13:07,595 --> 01:13:11,178
- Take them to the cliff.
- Huh? The cliff?
1248
01:13:11,179 --> 01:13:13,886
Whisky? A last drink?
1249
01:13:13,887 --> 01:13:16,386
Not my tipple.
1250
01:13:16,387 --> 01:13:19,253
(KATE SCREAMS)
1251
01:13:21,762 --> 01:13:24,886
- I do hope they'll be all right, Jerry.
- I'm sure they'll be fine, love.
1252
01:13:24,887 --> 01:13:26,662
- Do you think?
- Yeah.
1253
01:13:31,762 --> 01:13:33,594
(RADIO STATIC)
1254
01:13:33,595 --> 01:13:38,303
(♪ FRENCH SONG PLAYING)
1255
01:13:38,304 --> 01:13:40,928
- (WHISTLES)
- Stop whistling, Richard.
1256
01:13:40,929 --> 01:13:44,053
- Please, stop whistling. It drives me mad.
- Helps me relax, Kate.
1257
01:13:44,054 --> 01:13:46,761
Well, it doesn't help me relax.
It's driving me bloody mad.
1258
01:13:46,762 --> 01:13:49,037
OK, I'll stop. I've stopped
whistling now, OK?
1259
01:14:04,012 --> 01:14:06,386
- We've stopped.
- (DOOR SLAMS)
1260
01:14:06,387 --> 01:14:08,207
Yes.
1261
01:14:14,470 --> 01:14:16,916
- We're moving.
- Yes.
1262
01:14:19,512 --> 01:14:21,128
(KATE SCREAMS)
1263
01:14:22,678 --> 01:14:26,624
(BOTH SCREAM)
1264
01:14:26,845 --> 01:14:28,886
- Kate.
- What?
1265
01:14:28,887 --> 01:14:30,886
- I just wanted to say...
- What?
1266
01:14:30,887 --> 01:14:33,095
I just wanted to say, Kate,
that whatever happens...
1267
01:14:33,096 --> 01:14:37,667
- You're not trying to do a final speech, are you?
- No, not at all. Well, maybe a little.
1268
01:14:39,845 --> 01:14:41,220
(SINGS IN FRENCH)
1269
01:14:41,221 --> 01:14:42,928
(RICHARD) It's just that...
1270
01:14:42,929 --> 01:14:44,552
- (KATE) Shut up!
- (RICHARD) All right, I will.
1271
01:14:44,553 --> 01:14:46,749
(KATE SHRIEKS)
1272
01:14:49,929 --> 01:14:51,453
(KATE) Oh!
1273
01:14:52,054 --> 01:14:54,079
- Oh!
- Oh!
1274
01:14:56,553 --> 01:14:59,329
(WHISPERS) Don't... move.
1275
01:15:02,387 --> 01:15:07,719
(♪ BILLY PAUL'S "ME AND
MRS JONES" PLAYING)
1276
01:15:07,720 --> 01:15:09,495
(KATE WHIMPERS)
1277
01:15:09,887 --> 01:15:12,178
- Oh.
- Ohh!
1278
01:15:12,179 --> 01:15:14,386
- What's going on?
- We're going back. We're going back!
1279
01:15:14,387 --> 01:15:17,095
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh.
1280
01:15:17,096 --> 01:15:19,495
(KATE) No, no, no, no.
1281
01:15:21,054 --> 01:15:23,261
I just wanted to say
I'm sorry, Kate.
1282
01:15:23,262 --> 01:15:24,636
What for?
1283
01:15:24,637 --> 01:15:27,379
For not being a good husband.
1284
01:15:28,637 --> 01:15:30,178
I'm sorry too, then.
1285
01:15:30,179 --> 01:15:32,220
For what?
1286
01:15:32,221 --> 01:15:33,969
For not letting you be one.
1287
01:15:33,970 --> 01:15:35,761
What do you mean?
1288
01:15:35,762 --> 01:15:37,594
- We were too young.
- Uh-huh.
1289
01:15:37,595 --> 01:15:42,246
It takes two, you know, to totally ruin
a marriage, and I played my part.
1290
01:15:42,428 --> 01:15:43,761
Oh, God!
1291
01:15:43,762 --> 01:15:46,385
Anyway, what does it
matter now? We're...
1292
01:15:46,386 --> 01:15:48,761
(BOTH SCREAM)
1293
01:15:48,762 --> 01:15:50,287
(KATE) We're going to die!
1294
01:15:53,262 --> 01:15:57,833
- (WHIMPERS) Richard!
- It's OK. I've got you. Hold on.
1295
01:15:59,304 --> 01:16:02,419
Kate, I think we should try again.
1296
01:16:03,553 --> 01:16:06,178
- Try what again?
- Me and you.
1297
01:16:06,179 --> 01:16:08,261
What are you talking
about, Richard?
1298
01:16:08,262 --> 01:16:10,803
I think we should finally sail round the
world, like we've always talked about.
1299
01:16:10,804 --> 01:16:12,928
I've had such a great
time these past few days.
1300
01:16:12,929 --> 01:16:16,511
Could you just concentrate?
Concentrate on holding on!
1301
01:16:16,512 --> 01:16:19,469
- Well, don't you feel anything, Kate?
- Yes, fear!
1302
01:16:19,470 --> 01:16:21,916
All right. OK.
Well, just think about it.
1303
01:16:23,553 --> 01:16:26,886
I like you, I really like you.
1304
01:16:26,887 --> 01:16:28,912
(BOTH SCREAM)
1305
01:16:32,553 --> 01:16:34,703
Come on, you fucker!
1306
01:16:35,762 --> 01:16:37,582
Come on!
1307
01:16:47,762 --> 01:16:49,095
- Are you OK?
- Manon!
1308
01:16:49,096 --> 01:16:53,095
- Manon!
- Oh! Oh, thank you. Thank you!
1309
01:16:53,096 --> 01:16:57,011
Oh, no, it is I who should be thanking
you for making me see things clearly.
1310
01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:58,427
Merci beaucoup.
1311
01:16:58,428 --> 01:17:00,095
(DOGS BARKING)
1312
01:17:00,096 --> 01:17:02,416
We must go. Help me.
1313
01:17:03,012 --> 01:17:04,969
Here we go.
1314
01:17:04,970 --> 01:17:07,745
(GRUNTING AND SQUEALING)
1315
01:17:08,054 --> 01:17:10,928
(BANGING AND CRASHING)
1316
01:17:10,929 --> 01:17:13,499
(EXPLOSION)
1317
01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:24,385
- (RICHARD) Nice girl, passionate.
- (KATE) Oh, I do hope she'll be all right.
1318
01:17:24,386 --> 01:17:26,957
Oh, a headstrong girl
like her, she'll be fine.
1319
01:17:27,221 --> 01:17:28,886
We're gonna have to swim
out of here. You know that?
1320
01:17:28,887 --> 01:17:32,385
- We'll be sitting ducks.
- Yeah, well, do you have a better idea?
1321
01:17:32,386 --> 01:17:33,886
I know a man with a boat.
1322
01:17:33,887 --> 01:17:35,208
- You do?
- Yeah.
1323
01:17:41,720 --> 01:17:44,928
- Online?
- Yes, Richard, online.
1324
01:17:44,929 --> 01:17:50,385
You chat, you get to know each other, and you
agree to meet up, if you like each other.
1325
01:17:50,386 --> 01:17:52,677
- But you've never met him?
- No, not yet.
1326
01:17:52,678 --> 01:17:54,385
So you don't even know
if you'll like him.
1327
01:17:54,386 --> 01:17:56,095
Well, he's 57. He lives in Paris
1328
01:17:56,096 --> 01:17:58,511
and has house and a boat in the
south of France. What's not to like?
1329
01:17:58,512 --> 01:18:01,833
Good heavens, Kate!
How shallow you've become.
1330
01:18:04,970 --> 01:18:07,586
That must be the captain.
1331
01:18:09,804 --> 01:18:14,080
Bonjour, Kate.
It's me, Jean-Baptiste.
1332
01:18:14,845 --> 01:18:16,961
Bloody hell!
1333
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:27,928
You know, I'm twice your age.
1334
01:18:27,929 --> 01:18:31,011
What can I say? I like older women.
1335
01:18:31,012 --> 01:18:33,469
Why lie on your profile?
1336
01:18:33,470 --> 01:18:38,511
I want women to see me as a mature man.
Otherwise, I feel like a total cliché, you know?
1337
01:18:38,512 --> 01:18:44,379
Young, rich, handsome, with a
speedboat... So terribly predictable.
1338
01:18:47,012 --> 01:18:49,219
He's your lover?
1339
01:18:49,220 --> 01:18:51,095
Ex-lover.
1340
01:18:51,096 --> 01:18:53,461
But you still have
some feelings for him?
1341
01:18:55,096 --> 01:18:57,121
(MOUTHING)
1342
01:18:58,470 --> 01:19:00,336
I don't know.
1343
01:19:00,720 --> 01:19:03,245
It's not good to look back.
1344
01:19:04,054 --> 01:19:05,677
No, you're right.
1345
01:19:05,678 --> 01:19:08,294
- It can make you feel a bit sick.
- Oh.
1346
01:19:13,054 --> 01:19:14,719
Shall we head back?
1347
01:19:14,720 --> 01:19:17,344
- Well, actually...
- We are going out.
1348
01:19:17,345 --> 01:19:20,177
- Oh, really? Out?
- Yes, on a date.
1349
01:19:20,178 --> 01:19:22,886
- Well, not a date. Not...
- Yes, a date.
1350
01:19:22,887 --> 01:19:25,385
But what about the, er...
1351
01:19:25,386 --> 01:19:27,011
(WHISPERS) ...diamond?
1352
01:19:27,012 --> 01:19:29,252
You can handle that, can't you?
1353
01:19:30,096 --> 01:19:32,886
Are you telling me you don't
want to see this through now?
1354
01:19:32,887 --> 01:19:37,260
No, I... Well, I think so. I mean,
can't you deal with it on your own?
1355
01:19:37,261 --> 01:19:39,457
I'll meet you at the
rendezvous in Paris.
1356
01:19:40,595 --> 01:19:42,095
Right.
1357
01:19:42,096 --> 01:19:44,677
Right, I see. Well...
1358
01:19:44,678 --> 01:19:48,719
I suppose I did start all this for a
reason and the reason was for the...
1359
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:51,495
for the people, for...
for Doreen, for...
1360
01:19:53,845 --> 01:19:56,469
Right, I'll be off, then.
1361
01:19:56,470 --> 01:19:59,586
- You take good care of her.
- I will.
1362
01:20:06,595 --> 01:20:11,095
So, first of all, we have
some champagne at my villa.
1363
01:20:11,096 --> 01:20:14,302
OK. It's a bit early,
isn't it, for champagne?
1364
01:20:14,303 --> 01:20:17,670
It's never too early for champagne.
It's always too late.
1365
01:20:20,220 --> 01:20:21,803
Ah!
1366
01:20:21,804 --> 01:20:24,552
Oh, thank goodness. You made it.
1367
01:20:24,553 --> 01:20:25,803
(PEN) Where's Kate?
1368
01:20:25,804 --> 01:20:28,385
(CLEARS THROAT) Ah, she's not here.
1369
01:20:28,386 --> 01:20:30,161
Where is she?
1370
01:20:30,678 --> 01:20:32,385
- She's with a Frenchman.
- Oh!
1371
01:20:32,386 --> 01:20:35,803
- What Frenchman?
- Jean-Baptiste.
1372
01:20:35,804 --> 01:20:37,511
You knew about him?
1373
01:20:37,512 --> 01:20:39,886
Oh! Oh, right. Jean-Baptiste, yeah.
1374
01:20:39,887 --> 01:20:42,219
Did everybody know about the
Frenchman apart from me?
1375
01:20:42,220 --> 01:20:44,803
But why is she meeting him?
You're back together now.
1376
01:20:44,804 --> 01:20:47,177
No, Pen, we're not back together.
1377
01:20:47,178 --> 01:20:50,011
You seemed so happy so we
just went along with it.
1378
01:20:50,012 --> 01:20:52,344
I suppose it was a bit
of a long shot anyway.
1379
01:20:52,345 --> 01:20:55,677
Probably wouldn't have
worked second time around.
1380
01:20:55,678 --> 01:20:57,761
Exactly.
1381
01:20:57,762 --> 01:21:01,427
Anyway, the diamond. Where is it?
1382
01:21:01,428 --> 01:21:03,803
- Ah, yeah.
- There's been a slight delay.
1383
01:21:03,804 --> 01:21:07,295
Yeah, but... Pen's got me
on the old prune juice.
1384
01:21:07,970 --> 01:21:09,594
Should get the bomb doors open.
1385
01:21:09,595 --> 01:21:11,636
(RUMBLING)
1386
01:21:11,637 --> 01:21:13,928
Maybe? No, false alarm.
1387
01:21:13,929 --> 01:21:15,552
(ALARM BEEPS)
1388
01:21:15,553 --> 01:21:19,453
(♪ BARRY WHITE'S "WHAT AM I
GONNA DO WITH YOU" PLAYING)
1389
01:21:39,512 --> 01:21:42,511
- Where are you going?
- Ah, good morning.
1390
01:21:42,512 --> 01:21:44,378
There is a robe on the chair.
1391
01:21:50,762 --> 01:21:54,803
- I'm so sorry about last night.
- Oh, Jean-Baptiste, it was lovely.
1392
01:21:54,804 --> 01:21:58,454
- Yeah, but I drunk too much and...
- It happens. You're young.
1393
01:21:58,678 --> 01:22:01,719
You've got much more experience
than me. That thing that you did...
1394
01:22:01,720 --> 01:22:04,052
Oh, thank you.
1395
01:22:04,053 --> 01:22:06,052
So, what would you
like to do today?
1396
01:22:06,053 --> 01:22:08,302
We can have some
breakfast outside or...
1397
01:22:08,303 --> 01:22:11,260
We can take my boat somewhere.
You can practise your French.
1398
01:22:11,261 --> 01:22:12,969
(♪ FREE'S "COME TOGETHER)
(IN THE MORNING" PLAYING)
1399
01:22:12,970 --> 01:22:14,665
(KATE) Ooh.
1400
01:22:15,178 --> 01:22:17,427
- You like this song?
- I love this song.
1401
01:22:17,428 --> 01:22:20,260
- Who is it?
- Free. You know...
1402
01:22:20,261 --> 01:22:22,636
♪ All right now ♪
1403
01:22:22,637 --> 01:22:24,833
No, I don't know this band.
1404
01:22:25,303 --> 01:22:28,829
No... of course you don't.
1405
01:22:32,678 --> 01:22:36,928
It was the linseeds that ultimately
did it, such a smooth transition.
1406
01:22:36,929 --> 01:22:38,469
- Well done, Jerry.
- Darling.
1407
01:22:38,470 --> 01:22:41,803
Amazing. Look at it.
It's beautiful. Touch it.
1408
01:22:41,804 --> 01:22:43,954
No, I think I'll pass, Jerry.
1409
01:22:44,345 --> 01:22:45,968
Thank you.
1410
01:22:45,969 --> 01:22:49,427
Where is this man, Diamond Dave?
1411
01:22:49,428 --> 01:22:51,953
Patience, my dear, patience.
1412
01:22:52,845 --> 01:22:54,844
- I'm sure she's coming, Richard.
- Mmm.
1413
01:22:54,845 --> 01:22:57,085
I don't think so, Pen.
1414
01:22:58,053 --> 01:22:59,795
Thanks, anyway.
1415
01:23:00,428 --> 01:23:04,469
I don't understand. What
is the Eye of the Rainbow?
1416
01:23:04,470 --> 01:23:07,302
It's a diamond that we stole.
1417
01:23:07,303 --> 01:23:12,844
But first we had to kidnap the Texans, scuba
to the chateau and break into a wedding.
1418
01:23:12,845 --> 01:23:15,791
- You stole a diamond?
- Yes.
1419
01:23:17,428 --> 01:23:20,219
- I'm not gonna make it.
- Yes, you will.
1420
01:23:20,220 --> 01:23:21,586
(ACCELERATES)
1421
01:23:30,095 --> 01:23:34,177
It's Diamond Dave.
He hasn't changed a bit.
1422
01:23:34,178 --> 01:23:37,499
- Don't take less than ten.
- Right you are.
1423
01:23:48,428 --> 01:23:51,302
- I just don't get it.
- What, my love?
1424
01:23:51,303 --> 01:23:53,511
How you know all these people?
1425
01:23:53,512 --> 01:23:56,094
- Who?
- Well, Diamond bloody Dave.
1426
01:23:56,095 --> 01:23:58,927
- Oh, you know, way back.
- No, I don't know, Jerry.
1427
01:23:58,928 --> 01:24:02,511
I don't know about Saigon or
Guam or the Foreign Legion.
1428
01:24:02,512 --> 01:24:06,177
- Or even Diamond bloody Dave. I really don't.
- It's all right. Calm down.
1429
01:24:06,178 --> 01:24:09,260
No, I won't calm down.
Who are these people, Jerry?
1430
01:24:09,261 --> 01:24:13,885
These contacts? All that metal
in your body? This past life?
1431
01:24:13,886 --> 01:24:16,385
I thought I knew you.
I thought we were the same.
1432
01:24:16,386 --> 01:24:18,877
Oh, Pen.
1433
01:24:22,220 --> 01:24:24,870
I'm more than the sum of my parts.
1434
01:24:25,303 --> 01:24:29,919
- What does that mean?
- I've got no idea.
1435
01:24:30,303 --> 01:24:34,260
But what I do know
is that I love you.
1436
01:24:34,261 --> 01:24:39,332
Always have, always will. OK?
1437
01:24:40,095 --> 01:24:42,968
- OK.
- Yeah!
1438
01:24:42,969 --> 01:24:46,336
- Got 15.
- Bloody hell.
1439
01:24:57,386 --> 01:24:59,843
You can literally go anywhere
from here, can't you?
1440
01:24:59,844 --> 01:25:02,711
Well, we've got a
briefcase full of cash.
1441
01:25:03,678 --> 01:25:05,385
Penelope!
1442
01:25:05,386 --> 01:25:07,831
There's one back to
London in 50 minutes.
1443
01:25:09,762 --> 01:25:12,843
No, I don't think we
should get that one.
1444
01:25:12,844 --> 01:25:15,040
- Kate!
- Hey-hey!
1445
01:25:17,303 --> 01:25:19,469
Listen, what do you think about...
1446
01:25:19,470 --> 01:25:23,245
I don't know, maybe doing a bit of
travelling before we head home?
1447
01:25:24,261 --> 01:25:25,502
Travelling?
1448
01:25:27,011 --> 01:25:30,344
- Well...
- Stupid idea, right?
1449
01:25:30,345 --> 01:25:32,211
Yes.
1450
01:25:32,803 --> 01:25:38,295
A crazy... daft... stupid...
1451
01:25:39,095 --> 01:25:41,511
but brilliant idea.
1452
01:25:41,512 --> 01:25:43,177
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Why the hell not?
1453
01:25:43,178 --> 01:25:46,052
- What have we got to lose?
- Apart from our dignity?
1454
01:25:46,053 --> 01:25:48,419
Either way, it's
worth investigating.
1455
01:25:48,553 --> 01:25:51,828
Definitely. Let's investigate.
1456
01:25:52,886 --> 01:25:55,260
Would you see that the
relevant people get this?
1457
01:25:55,261 --> 01:25:56,511
It would be an honour, my friend.
1458
01:25:56,512 --> 01:25:59,719
I've, er... taken a bit out. You can
stash the rest under the mattress.
1459
01:25:59,720 --> 01:26:03,177
Don't worry, old pal. We've got a
safe house built under the stairs.
1460
01:26:03,178 --> 01:26:05,953
- We do?
- Yeah.
1461
01:26:07,637 --> 01:26:09,832
Bon voyage, my old friends.
1462
01:26:10,428 --> 01:26:12,385
- I'll feed the cat.
- Oh, thank you.
1463
01:26:12,386 --> 01:26:13,885
- Look after yourselves.
- We will.
1464
01:26:13,886 --> 01:26:15,094
Thank you.
1465
01:26:15,095 --> 01:26:17,719
- Come along, Jerry.
- Be very, very naughty.
1466
01:26:17,720 --> 01:26:20,620
- It's is very heavy, Jerry.
- Hey-hey!
1467
01:26:21,178 --> 01:26:23,704
- Come on, my love.
- I say...
1468
01:26:24,803 --> 01:26:26,828
Oh... yes.
1469
01:26:27,886 --> 01:26:29,752
Merci.
1470
01:26:32,220 --> 01:26:34,052
Come on.
1471
01:26:34,053 --> 01:26:35,748
Come on!
1472
01:26:39,928 --> 01:26:44,249
(♪ TEDDY THOMPSON: "IN MY ARMS")
1473
01:26:47,678 --> 01:26:49,511
Oh, yay!
1474
01:26:49,512 --> 01:26:51,094
Right. Yay!
1475
01:26:51,095 --> 01:26:52,836
Hey-hey-hey!
1476
01:26:54,553 --> 01:26:59,374
♪ Not an easy place to be
1477
01:27:02,095 --> 01:27:07,166
♪ Not a simple space to feel free
1478
01:27:08,220 --> 01:27:10,915
♪ In my arms
1479
01:27:11,719 --> 01:27:14,370
♪ Oh, in my arms...
1480
01:27:18,053 --> 01:27:22,260
So, what next? Hmm?
1481
01:27:22,261 --> 01:27:24,385
A wander around the Marais?
1482
01:27:24,386 --> 01:27:27,161
Hmm, that would be nice.
1483
01:27:27,637 --> 01:27:32,927
But... I was thinking of something
a little more adventurous.
1484
01:27:32,928 --> 01:27:37,045
Adventurous? Marvellous.
When are we leaving?
1485
01:27:37,844 --> 01:27:40,370
What about right now?
1486
01:27:41,053 --> 01:27:43,078
OK?
1487
01:27:44,136 --> 01:27:46,427
You see, I...
1488
01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:50,219
I know a man.
I know a man with a boat.
1489
01:27:50,220 --> 01:27:51,927
- Oh, you do, do you?
- Yes.
1490
01:27:51,928 --> 01:27:54,374
Yes? What?
1491
01:27:54,969 --> 01:27:57,718
Where? No! This?
1492
01:27:57,719 --> 01:27:59,676
Oh, my God! She's beautiful.
1493
01:27:59,677 --> 01:28:01,802
- Kate, you did it. You did it!
- I did it!
1494
01:28:01,803 --> 01:28:03,843
- You bought us a boat!
- I did it!
1495
01:28:03,844 --> 01:28:05,843
Don't fall in. Don't
fall in the Seine.
1496
01:28:05,844 --> 01:28:08,718
Oh, my God, she's gorgeous!
1497
01:28:08,719 --> 01:28:11,344
She is gorgeous. You are gorgeous!
1498
01:28:11,345 --> 01:28:13,495
I love you!
1499
01:28:31,261 --> 01:28:35,052
♪ Keep it on the recent
1500
01:28:35,053 --> 01:28:38,760
♪ Keep it on the now
1501
01:28:38,761 --> 01:28:45,594
♪ Gimme an easy way out
1502
01:28:45,595 --> 01:28:51,635
♪ Not an easy place to be
1503
01:28:51,636 --> 01:28:54,635
♪ In my arms
1504
01:28:54,636 --> 01:28:58,333
♪ Oh, in my arms
1505
01:29:00,261 --> 01:29:04,627
♪ Not much to feel from me
1506
01:29:06,386 --> 01:29:09,502
♪ In my arms
1507
01:29:09,928 --> 01:29:13,499
♪ Oh, in my arms
1508
01:29:13,803 --> 01:29:22,330
♪ In my arms ♪
1509
01:29:27,761 --> 01:29:32,162
(♪ KIMIKO ONO: "MON DÉSARROI")
1510
01:34:30,427 --> 01:34:36,453
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