1
00:00:19,402 --> 00:00:20,653
Outside!

2
00:00:58,898 --> 00:01:00,757
We got one to go!

3
00:01:00,857 --> 00:01:03,192
One out to go! All right.

4
00:01:05,694 --> 00:01:06,695
Okay!

5
00:01:07,195 --> 00:01:11,115
- Be careful with your ass, Brewster.
- We got two outs.

6
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,042
- Come on, Rudy!
- Hit it, Rudy!

7
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,223
- Foul ball!
- Aw, foul ball?

8
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:42,292
Aw, you almost had that. I bet you feel
like a big piece of shit, don't you?

9
00:01:42,392 --> 00:01:44,060
Talk all you want, Porky.

10
00:01:45,603 --> 00:01:47,879
Here we go, Monty.
Right into Porky's glove.

11
00:01:47,979 --> 00:01:49,772
Throw it in to Porky!

12
00:01:53,442 --> 00:01:54,426
Foul ball!

13
00:01:54,526 --> 00:01:56,402
Aw, foul ball again!

14
00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:58,594
It's all right, Rudy.

15
00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:00,220
Want me to have him
pitch underhanded to ya?

16
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,555
Hey, I lettin' my bat
do my talking, lard ass!

17
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:05,057
- Oh, the bat's got the brains!
- Play ball.

18
00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:06,474
All right. I just want to figure it out!

19
00:02:06,574 --> 00:02:08,742
That's all. I want to know who's got
the brains in the family.

20
00:02:11,786 --> 00:02:13,746
- Time out!
- Time out?

21
00:02:31,763 --> 00:02:34,289
It's all right. It's all right.
It's all right. It's all right.

22
00:02:34,389 --> 00:02:36,040
Come on, take it easy now.
Don't lose your concentration.

23
00:02:36,140 --> 00:02:39,141
Don't lose my concentration? The goddamned
train's coming through the outfield!

24
00:02:54,531 --> 00:02:56,366
There's a guy out there in the bleachers,

25
00:02:56,616 --> 00:02:59,018
front row, he's got a hat, camera.

26
00:02:59,118 --> 00:03:01,578
He's taking pictures of me
for the last three games.

27
00:03:04,622 --> 00:03:06,707
I'm tellin' ya.
I think he's a scout for the big leagues.

28
00:03:07,249 --> 00:03:09,817
Monty, this is Hackensack, New Jersey.

29
00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:12,127
No scout comes here, you understand?

30
00:03:12,418 --> 00:03:14,628
A train's goin' through
the outfield right now.

31
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:17,987
But if you strike this guy out, I'll take you
with me tonight, we'll get you drunk.

32
00:03:18,087 --> 00:03:21,090
That's a promise. Two outs. Two! Two!

33
00:03:21,882 --> 00:03:23,133
Play ball!

34
00:03:25,385 --> 00:03:27,828
Two outs. Two outs.

35
00:03:27,928 --> 00:03:29,596
He makes three.

36
00:03:34,142 --> 00:03:36,352
Look at him. He's a little rag doll!

37
00:03:43,817 --> 00:03:45,693
Knock it a long distance for me!

38
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,557
Hey, old man, getting a little tired, huh?

39
00:03:52,657 --> 00:03:54,659
Get back to T-ball, buddy.

40
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,624
Strike three! You're out!

41
00:04:07,337 --> 00:04:08,963
Big win! Yeah!

42
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,965
All right. Big win!

43
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,034
Constantly scheming

44
00:04:16,134 --> 00:04:18,077
Forever dreaming

45
00:04:18,177 --> 00:04:20,162
If I can't get what I want

46
00:04:20,262 --> 00:04:22,330
Life just ain't worth livin'

47
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:23,597
No

48
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,724
Hey, honey!

49
00:04:29,685 --> 00:04:33,855
Oh, living in materialistic reality

50
00:04:34,188 --> 00:04:37,649
Only taking what you want
Oh, don't you see

51
00:04:38,191 --> 00:04:41,277
Do you live in a materialistic reality

52
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:46,264
I'm a gypsy.
That's why I'm not gonna bullshit you, okay?

53
00:04:46,364 --> 00:04:49,058
I could tell you, "I'll see you next year."
I'm not gonna see you next year.

54
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,142
Because I'm gonna be playing
with the big leagues.

55
00:04:51,242 --> 00:04:52,618
- Really?
- That's right.

56
00:04:53,243 --> 00:04:56,270
I don't know what team,
but you'll see me on television

57
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:57,896
and you'll say to your friends,

58
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:01,482
"I know that guy!
That's the guy that wanted to date me,

59
00:05:01,582 --> 00:05:03,542
"but, no, I was too stupid."

60
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:06,777
Jake here. I'm in Hackensack.

61
00:05:06,877 --> 00:05:08,778
Ah, pretty much the same picture.
He was out drinkin'

62
00:05:08,878 --> 00:05:11,280
till 3:30 in a bar last night,

63
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:14,157
then he picked up some girl
and took her back to the hotel.

64
00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:16,450
I figure tonight's agenda
looks about the same.

65
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,868
He's in a bar celebrating his victory.

66
00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:20,302
Yeah, he was the winning pitcher today.

67
00:05:20,552 --> 00:05:23,037
Yeah, right now,
you're playing for Hackensack.

68
00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:26,081
So what are you doing
in a Cubs jersey, huh?

69
00:05:26,181 --> 00:05:28,999
A Cubs jersey? What are you talkin' about?
Hey, what number is that?

70
00:05:29,099 --> 00:05:30,166
Says "35."

71
00:05:30,266 --> 00:05:31,875
That was my number when
I played with the Cubs.

72
00:05:31,975 --> 00:05:35,311
They were the only big league team
smart enough to let me play for 'em.

73
00:05:35,853 --> 00:05:38,897
Is he a good pitcher? He's enthusiastic.

74
00:05:39,981 --> 00:05:41,857
Kinda like a kid in a candy store,
you know what I mean?

75
00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,026
Excuse me. Excuse me.

76
00:05:45,359 --> 00:05:47,569
Cold beer here. Cold beer.

77
00:05:48,861 --> 00:05:51,488
There you go. Sorry I'm late. Allow me.

78
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:56,075
- Attractive.
- Thank you very much.

79
00:05:58,702 --> 00:06:00,978
Look, just keep
your eye out for Rudy, will you?

80
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:02,954
He doesn't exist. There is no Rudy.

81
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:06,856
Yes, sir. I'll break the news to
him first thing tomorrow morning.

82
00:06:06,956 --> 00:06:08,916
No, sir, I won't lose sight of him.

83
00:06:09,291 --> 00:06:11,293
Let me tell you something about athletes.

84
00:06:11,584 --> 00:06:14,736
I mean, after a game,
we've got to relax, we gotta come down.

85
00:06:14,836 --> 00:06:16,779
Unwind. My doctor told me. He said,

86
00:06:16,879 --> 00:06:20,323
"Hey, Brewster.
Man, get a massage. Come down."

87
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,533
We were reading in a medical journal that
was left in the locker room the other day,

88
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,994
an article by this
Oriental doctor on massages.

89
00:06:27,094 --> 00:06:29,954
See, we in the West
give a massage like this, you know.

90
00:06:30,054 --> 00:06:34,331
And, uh, see, all the energy coming
from my hands is stopped by the fabric.

91
00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:38,518
Apparently we in the West don't know that,
and we're massagin' for nothin'.

92
00:06:38,768 --> 00:06:41,670
So his theory, and it's just a theory,

93
00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:45,231
is that if you're nude and you get a
massage, that's the best thing for ya.

94
00:06:45,373 --> 00:06:46,815
Good for your muscles, nude.

95
00:06:46,915 --> 00:06:50,692
We're wonderin' maybe you might like
to, uh, try the theory nude with us.

96
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:53,777
- The four of us nude would be great!
- Oh, that would be fun.

97
00:06:53,877 --> 00:06:55,545
- Massaging each other.
- Mmm-hmm.

98
00:06:55,962 --> 00:06:57,380
I think they're kind of cute.

99
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,381
This one's especially cute.

100
00:06:59,589 --> 00:07:01,156
Either you guys got a car?

101
00:07:01,256 --> 00:07:02,281
- No.
- Got a bus!

102
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,699
- The Bulls' bus. The team bus.
- Bigger than a car.

103
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:08,576
Oh, much bigger and more fun,
because he's the party-meister, himself.

104
00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:09,910
I'm the driver too.

105
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,286
- Why don't we start in a bus?
- Why don't we try the bus?

106
00:07:12,386 --> 00:07:14,871
- Let's try the bus. Any left?
- We'll show you the bus.

107
00:07:14,971 --> 00:07:15,972
Any left?

108
00:07:16,806 --> 00:07:20,375
I'll try the bus.
A good place to start the evening off.

109
00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:24,462
You're gonna love this. We have a
big-screen TV. Well, we haven't got it yet.

110
00:07:24,562 --> 00:07:27,356
We got a space for a big-screen TV
I think you're gonna like.

111
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,468
You know...

112
00:07:32,568 --> 00:07:33,902
Hi, guys.

113
00:07:37,030 --> 00:07:39,907
Uh. Rudy! Hi, Rudy, buddy!

114
00:07:43,577 --> 00:07:46,187
Get in the car
before I twist your head off.

115
00:07:46,287 --> 00:07:47,812
I didn't do anything wrong, baby.

116
00:07:47,912 --> 00:07:49,479
They tried to pick us up.

117
00:07:49,579 --> 00:07:50,646
Bullshit!

118
00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:52,647
Shut up! You too.
Get in the goddamned car!

119
00:07:52,747 --> 00:07:54,356
- Don't wanna get in the car.
- Hey, I wouldn't do that.

120
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:57,417
- Uh, Rudy...
- Hey! Butt out, rag arm!

121
00:07:57,667 --> 00:07:58,984
Let's go, guys.

122
00:07:59,084 --> 00:08:00,627
Ha! We'll push your face!

123
00:08:00,877 --> 00:08:02,778
Yeah, police?
This is Torchy's on J Street.

124
00:08:02,878 --> 00:08:05,338
You'd better send somebody down here.
There's gonna be a fight.

125
00:08:16,723 --> 00:08:17,748
Ooh!

126
00:08:17,848 --> 00:08:18,890
Ow!

127
00:08:25,686 --> 00:08:28,671
Why is it when there's trouble,
we're the ones that get into it?

128
00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:32,591
There was a bar full of people.
We're the only ones in jail.

129
00:08:32,691 --> 00:08:36,009
I don't think it's racial, you know,
because I'm in here with you.

130
00:08:36,109 --> 00:08:37,401
That's comforting.

131
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,680
Hiya, fellas.

132
00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:45,222
- Charley.
- Hey, Charley.

133
00:08:45,322 --> 00:08:49,284
Look, I don't know what to say,
but I guess this is it.

134
00:08:49,784 --> 00:08:51,268
Charley, we apologized.

135
00:08:51,368 --> 00:08:53,686
Now cut the speeches,
and get us out of here, please.

136
00:08:53,786 --> 00:08:57,856
I can't do it, kid. The front office is
washing its hands of you two.

137
00:08:57,956 --> 00:09:01,191
There's no money for bail
and no money for your fines.

138
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,567
They gave the both of you
your unconditional releases.

139
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,818
That's just great.
Do they know what they're talking about?

140
00:09:05,918 --> 00:09:09,279
We got one game left.
If we win today, we're in the play-offs!

141
00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:11,864
It's simple. They don't want you guys.

142
00:09:11,964 --> 00:09:14,532
Next year, they're going
with the college draft choices.

143
00:09:14,632 --> 00:09:16,300
New talent. Young kids.

144
00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:18,659
Hey, look at it this way, Brewster.

145
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:23,054
You're lucky. You got to be
a pro ballplayer for 15 years.

146
00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:25,473
That's a lot more than most people get.

147
00:09:26,682 --> 00:09:28,100
I'll see ya.

148
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:37,818
Brewster and Nolan.

149
00:09:38,485 --> 00:09:41,237
Okay! You bozos are up to bat.

150
00:09:41,445 --> 00:09:43,989
In here. Let's go!

151
00:09:58,169 --> 00:09:59,987
Don't worry about a thing.
I'll take care of everything.

152
00:10:00,087 --> 00:10:01,738
- I know this kind of stuff.
- Don't mess up.

153
00:10:01,838 --> 00:10:03,214
Just smile.

154
00:10:06,508 --> 00:10:08,468
Thank you very much.

155
00:10:09,010 --> 00:10:14,161
Mr. Brewster and Mr. Nolan,
you're charged with assault and battery,

156
00:10:14,261 --> 00:10:18,498
resisting arrest, and destruction
of private property.

157
00:10:18,598 --> 00:10:20,600
How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?

158
00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:22,751
Oh, guilty but with a real good excuse.

159
00:10:22,851 --> 00:10:24,919
You're gonna love it, really.
I think everyone here will.

160
00:10:25,019 --> 00:10:26,878
I plead innocent.

161
00:10:26,978 --> 00:10:29,046
You see, Your Honor, what you have here

162
00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:33,108
with Mr. Brewster and myself,
is a couple of, well, local heroes, really.

163
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:38,012
We play for a local team. You might
have seen us. The Hackensack Bulls?

164
00:10:38,112 --> 00:10:40,222
Perhaps you know the...
"Go, you Bulls, go."

165
00:10:40,322 --> 00:10:42,265
Let's not waste the court's time.

166
00:10:42,365 --> 00:10:45,642
I have depositions here
from over a dozen eyewitnesses.

167
00:10:45,742 --> 00:10:49,562
Your Honor, we went into the bar to
have a drink, and we saw this nice lady,

168
00:10:49,662 --> 00:10:52,897
and we asked her to sit with us to have
a drink, I didn't know she had a fiance.

169
00:10:52,997 --> 00:10:53,980
- Who knew?
- Did you know?

170
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,606
- I didn't know. It wasn't public knowledge.
- I didn't know, either.

171
00:10:56,706 --> 00:11:00,943
So you were making advances to a woman
who was clearly involved with another man.

172
00:11:01,043 --> 00:11:05,187
You see, if you don't make calls,
you don't make any sales.

173
00:11:05,287 --> 00:11:06,946
This man does not represent me,
Your Honor.

174
00:11:07,046 --> 00:11:09,114
I would remove that
from the court records. I would...

175
00:11:09,214 --> 00:11:12,900
I'm going to set your bail at $3,000.

176
00:11:13,008 --> 00:11:14,175
Not bad.

177
00:11:14,275 --> 00:11:16,660
- We don't have $3,000.
- We don't.

178
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,579
Bailiff, will you remove the prisoners?
Next case.

179
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,164
Your Honor, wait.
Please, before you send us to jail...

180
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,582
Look, I tried to defend myself.
The man hit me first.

181
00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:26,749
With the permission of the court...

182
00:11:26,849 --> 00:11:28,958
My name is J.B. Donaldo,

183
00:11:29,058 --> 00:11:32,919
and I'm representing parties who
wish to remain anonymous at this time

184
00:11:33,019 --> 00:11:36,230
and who have instructed me
to post bail for the defendants

185
00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:39,816
or pay any fines levied
in case they plead guilty,

186
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:41,834
which I'm sure they will now do.

187
00:11:42,209 --> 00:11:44,152
- Yeah. Who is he?
- It's the scout.

188
00:11:44,252 --> 00:11:47,628
- Oh, yeah.
- I told you they want me.

189
00:11:48,211 --> 00:11:51,631
- They want me. We're goin' to the big time!
- This is it.

190
00:11:51,839 --> 00:11:54,282
- So where to, J.B.?
- New York.

191
00:11:54,382 --> 00:11:57,701
New York? Yeehaw!

192
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,302
The Mets!

193
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,863
I knew it! I knew it!

194
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:39,256
There's no Mets in here! Wait a minute.

195
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:41,448
Don't go in there.
There's no Mets in this building!

196
00:12:41,548 --> 00:12:43,533
I never said anything about the Mets.
Mr. Brewster did.

197
00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:45,617
I was just hired
to find him and bring him here.

198
00:12:45,717 --> 00:12:47,785
This is not a scout. He's a cop, Monty.
That's what he is.

199
00:12:47,885 --> 00:12:50,620
He's a cop. Look at him.
Look at those cheap cop shoes,

200
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:54,140
cop face, cop hat, cop shirt, cop eyes!

201
00:12:54,598 --> 00:12:56,332
Monty, the Mets don't want you, all right?

202
00:12:56,432 --> 00:12:58,458
Hell, the Hackensack Bulls
don't even want ya.

203
00:12:58,558 --> 00:13:01,710
Look, I ain't supposed
to tell you this, but here's who hired me.

204
00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:05,313
Granville and Baxter. As far as I know, they
got nothin' to do with the Mets.

205
00:13:05,938 --> 00:13:07,356
It's goin' great.

206
00:13:13,195 --> 00:13:14,821
It's the Yankees.

207
00:13:15,988 --> 00:13:17,656
- Mr. Brewster?
- Right.

208
00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:20,641
- We've been expected you.
- The arm's okay.

209
00:13:20,741 --> 00:13:23,226
- Beg your pardon?
- The operation was a success.

210
00:13:23,326 --> 00:13:25,411
The arm's two years old now.

211
00:13:26,495 --> 00:13:27,829
Follow me, please.

212
00:13:29,372 --> 00:13:30,414
Wait for me.

213
00:13:51,685 --> 00:13:53,086
Mr. Brewster's here.

214
00:13:53,186 --> 00:13:56,105
- Mr. Brewster? I'm Ed Roundfield.
- Yeah.

215
00:13:56,605 --> 00:13:58,631
This is Mr. George Granville.
Mr. Norris Baxter.

216
00:13:58,731 --> 00:13:59,673
- How do you do?
- Hi.

217
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:00,798
How do you do?

218
00:14:00,898 --> 00:14:02,924
Perhaps you'd better
sit down, Mr. Brewster.

219
00:14:03,024 --> 00:14:06,010
What I'm about to tell you
may come as quite a shock.

220
00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:08,428
No, sir. I don't want to sit down.
I want to hear this standing up.

221
00:14:08,528 --> 00:14:11,489
- Have you ever heard the name Rupert Horn?
- Rupert Horn.

222
00:14:12,239 --> 00:14:15,683
No. I bet he's someone
high up in the Yankee organization, right?

223
00:14:15,783 --> 00:14:18,577
I'm afraid not, Mr. Brewster.
Rupert Horn was your great-uncle.

224
00:14:19,035 --> 00:14:20,686
What's that got to do with baseball?

225
00:14:20,786 --> 00:14:23,354
Rupert Horn quarreled
with his family back in the '30s.

226
00:14:23,454 --> 00:14:24,813
He went out West.

227
00:14:24,913 --> 00:14:27,690
They never heard from him again.
They thought he was dead.

228
00:14:27,790 --> 00:14:29,792
But he didn't die until last month.

229
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:33,128
And by then, he was
one of the richest men in America.

230
00:14:33,711 --> 00:14:35,112
And he bought a baseball team, right?

231
00:14:35,212 --> 00:14:37,197
No, oil and real estate.

232
00:14:37,297 --> 00:14:41,426
And you, Mr. Brewster, are the sole living
heir of your great-uncle, Rupert Horn.

233
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:45,930
I think it's only fair to tell Mr. Brewster
about the conditions of the will.

234
00:14:49,475 --> 00:14:52,210
Brewster, greetings from the grave.

235
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:53,543
Don't look so surprised.

236
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,587
Didn't you know
your great-grandfather was a honky?

237
00:14:56,687 --> 00:15:00,982
The old man married twice.
One wife, white, produced me.

238
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:04,651
One wife, black,
produced your grandmother.

239
00:15:05,318 --> 00:15:07,219
A checkered family, you might say.

240
00:15:07,319 --> 00:15:09,821
I've outlived them all, except you.

241
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,682
They tell me you're
my only living relative, Brewster.

242
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:15,975
And I got to say I'm very disappointed.
Look at you!

243
00:15:16,075 --> 00:15:20,412
What have you made of yourself?
A failed baseball player.

244
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,998
I believe in being honest, Brewster.
No bullshit.

245
00:15:24,665 --> 00:15:26,375
I'm stuck with you.

246
00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:32,179
But we're going to have some fun.

247
00:15:43,055 --> 00:15:44,580
Let me...

248
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,641
Let me tell you a little story, Brewster.

249
00:15:48,933 --> 00:15:53,018
When I was seven years old,
my daddy caught me smokin' a cigar.

250
00:15:54,561 --> 00:15:57,004
Locked me in the closet for
three days and three nights

251
00:15:57,104 --> 00:16:00,524
with nothin' but
a box of cigars and a book of matches.

252
00:16:01,149 --> 00:16:04,593
No food, Brewster.
No water, just those goddamned cigars.

253
00:16:04,693 --> 00:16:07,762
Wouldn't let me out
until I finished every last one.

254
00:16:07,862 --> 00:16:09,221
Taught me one hell of a lesson.

255
00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:12,782
I'm going to do to you
what my daddy did to me.

256
00:16:13,157 --> 00:16:16,101
I'm gonna teach you
to hate spending money.

257
00:16:16,201 --> 00:16:17,852
I'm gonna make you
so sick of spending money

258
00:16:17,952 --> 00:16:22,022
that the mere sight of it
will make you want to throw up.

259
00:16:22,122 --> 00:16:24,457
So, here's my proposition.

260
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:29,712
You have 30 days in which
to spend 30 million bucks.

261
00:16:31,046 --> 00:16:34,281
If you can do it, you get 300 million.

262
00:16:34,381 --> 00:16:35,615
There's gotta be a catch.

263
00:16:35,715 --> 00:16:37,491
Of course there's a catch.

264
00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:39,659
You have to spend the 30 million,

265
00:16:39,759 --> 00:16:43,912
but after 30 days, you're
not allowed to own any assets.

266
00:16:44,012 --> 00:16:48,681
No houses, no cars, no jewelry,
nothin' but the shirt on your back.

267
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,624
Sounds easy, don't it?

268
00:16:51,724 --> 00:16:54,626
Well, you'll find out!

269
00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:57,562
No, no, no, no.

270
00:16:58,396 --> 00:16:59,397
Now...

271
00:17:00,731 --> 00:17:04,633
You can hire anybody you want, but you
got to get value for their services.

272
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:07,093
You can donate 5% to charity,

273
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,095
and you can gamble another 5% away,

274
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,221
but you can't give this money away.

275
00:17:12,321 --> 00:17:16,573
And that includes buying the Hope Diamond
for some bimbo as a birthday present.

276
00:17:18,992 --> 00:17:21,936
I know what you're thinking, Brewster.

277
00:17:22,036 --> 00:17:26,373
You'll buy yourself a dozen Picassos
and use them for firewood, right?

278
00:17:26,623 --> 00:17:30,001
Wrong! You must not destroy

279
00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:31,544
what is inherently valuable.

280
00:17:31,644 --> 00:17:33,520
That's instant disqualification.

281
00:17:34,437 --> 00:17:36,897
Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.

282
00:17:38,315 --> 00:17:42,217
You're not allowed to tell anybody
why you have to spend this money.

283
00:17:42,317 --> 00:17:43,735
Why can't I tell my friends?

284
00:17:44,152 --> 00:17:46,011
Because I don't want
anybody helpin' you out!

285
00:17:46,111 --> 00:17:49,489
Nobody helped me out
in that closet with those cigars.

286
00:17:49,864 --> 00:17:51,031
I never had any friends.

287
00:17:52,699 --> 00:17:56,285
Well, Brewster, what do you think?
You got the balls for it?

288
00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:03,208
I doubt it. That's why I put a
special wimp clause in my will.

289
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,461
You can have a million dollars,
right now, forget the whole thing.

290
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,922
Or you can go for the big one, Brewster.

291
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:13,673
The 300 million.

292
00:18:14,090 --> 00:18:15,716
But if you fail,

293
00:18:16,883 --> 00:18:19,719
you don't get diddly.

294
00:18:28,936 --> 00:18:31,296
This is the million dollars
your great-uncle spoke about.

295
00:18:31,396 --> 00:18:35,358
Oh, Jesus! I've never seen
that much money in my life!

296
00:18:35,608 --> 00:18:38,777
We've investigated your background,
Mr. Brewster.

297
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:42,346
The highest salary
you've ever had is $11,000

298
00:18:42,446 --> 00:18:44,931
for one season with the Toledo Mud Hens.

299
00:18:45,031 --> 00:18:48,075
You've never had a credit card
in your entire life.

300
00:18:48,575 --> 00:18:51,727
Think of spending
a million dollars a day for 30 days

301
00:18:51,827 --> 00:18:53,787
with no assets to show for it.

302
00:18:54,162 --> 00:18:57,748
It's quite difficult to spend money
without accumulating assets,

303
00:18:58,331 --> 00:18:59,898
even when the money is spent foolishly.

304
00:18:59,998 --> 00:19:04,777
Surely, no one could blame you for
refusing such an eccentric gamble.

305
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:08,130
That's good advice. Take the million.

306
00:19:08,755 --> 00:19:09,756
It's yours!

307
00:19:10,423 --> 00:19:13,492
What happens if I don't take
the million dollars and I,

308
00:19:13,592 --> 00:19:16,077
I try for the whole thing and I fail?

309
00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:19,163
Granville and Baxter would gain
power of attorney over the estate.

310
00:19:19,263 --> 00:19:21,682
They would administer it
in some charitable fashion

311
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:24,392
for a considerable fee, I'm sure.

312
00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:27,728
- What do you think?
- I don't benefit either way, Mr. Brewster.

313
00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:30,271
I'm a completely neutral observer.

314
00:19:35,901 --> 00:19:39,070
Whew. "Bird in the hand..."

315
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,406
That's what my grandmother used to say.

316
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,691
I'm gonna go for the 300 million.

317
00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:58,361
When you appear before us again in 30 days,
Mr. Brewster, you must be totally penniless,

318
00:19:58,461 --> 00:20:00,446
without assets of any kind,

319
00:20:00,546 --> 00:20:03,865
having nothing but the receipt for your
expenses and the clothes on your back.

320
00:20:03,965 --> 00:20:06,408
Are you certain
you want to do this, Mr. Brewster?

321
00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:09,743
No, sir, I'm not certain,
but I'm gonna have a lot of fun findin' out.

322
00:20:09,843 --> 00:20:11,494
Send Drake up here immediately.

323
00:20:11,594 --> 00:20:14,305
Good luck, sir.
You're due back in 30 days.

324
00:20:14,596 --> 00:20:16,472
Gentlemen, shall we say...

325
00:20:17,055 --> 00:20:19,307
...12:00 midnight exactly?

326
00:20:19,557 --> 00:20:21,875
We're going to assign
one of our paralegals

327
00:20:21,975 --> 00:20:26,086
from the accounting department to keep track
of your expenditures and receipts.

328
00:20:26,186 --> 00:20:28,045
Does this guy Drake know
about the 300 million?

329
00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:31,422
All Drake knows
is that you've inherited $30 million

330
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:34,382
which must be precisely accounted for.

331
00:20:34,482 --> 00:20:39,011
You tell Drake the truth, you'll automatically
lose the entire inheritance.

332
00:20:39,111 --> 00:20:41,846
I ain't tellin' Drake shit.
My lips are sealed.

333
00:20:41,946 --> 00:20:44,222
Lock them.
Throw away the key. "Hello, Drake."

334
00:20:44,322 --> 00:20:47,641
This is the way I'll talk.
"How are you doing, Drake?"

335
00:20:47,741 --> 00:20:52,287
Miss Drake. This is Mr. Brewster,
the client we briefed you about.

336
00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:57,525
Oh, yes, Mr. Brewster.
It's very nice to meet you.

337
00:20:57,625 --> 00:21:00,694
- Damn. It doesn't rain, it pours.
- I beg your pardon?

338
00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:04,155
The $30 million is deposited
in a bank across the street.

339
00:21:04,255 --> 00:21:08,157
I imagine you'd like to make sure it's
real and possibly make a withdrawal.

340
00:21:08,257 --> 00:21:12,285
- Yeah, I'd like to make sure it's real.
- Step this way, please.

341
00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:14,345
- Hey, good luck.
- Yes, sir.

342
00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:23,604
- Spike! Spike!
- What's wrong? What's wrong?

343
00:21:23,937 --> 00:21:25,713
- What's wrong? Are you all right?
- Spike! Spike!

344
00:21:25,813 --> 00:21:29,049
- You look like you've seen a ghost!
- I did! But I'm not.

345
00:21:29,149 --> 00:21:30,633
I'm okay. It's gonna be great.

346
00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:31,717
We're gonna be back on the team.

347
00:21:31,817 --> 00:21:33,426
- In fact, I may own the team.
- What?

348
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,093
Yeah, I'm gonna be
a little crazy for a while.

349
00:21:35,193 --> 00:21:36,886
But I'm not crazy.
People gonna think I'm crazy.

350
00:21:36,986 --> 00:21:38,094
You stick with me, you're my buddy.

351
00:21:38,194 --> 00:21:41,013
- You work here?
- No. No. They just hired me to follow you.

352
00:21:41,113 --> 00:21:44,390
Would you like to work for more money
than you ever made in your life?

353
00:21:44,490 --> 00:21:46,933
I mean, it's a job. It's gonna be...

354
00:21:47,033 --> 00:21:49,518
I gotta check out something,
see if it's real first. Are you interested?

355
00:21:49,618 --> 00:21:51,352
- Yeah! You kiddin'?
- Bring your camera.

356
00:21:51,452 --> 00:21:52,769
- Come on.
- What are you talking...

357
00:21:52,869 --> 00:21:54,603
Would you mind fillin' me in
on what the hell is going on?

358
00:21:54,703 --> 00:21:56,270
What's wrong?
What did they do to you in there?

359
00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:57,603
What do you mean,
what did they do to me in there?

360
00:21:57,703 --> 00:22:00,330
I think I just inherited $30 million!

361
00:22:01,873 --> 00:22:04,775
Oh, is that all?
I thought we did something wrong.

362
00:22:04,875 --> 00:22:07,151
$30 million.
Why didn't you tell me $30 million?

363
00:22:07,251 --> 00:22:08,835
$30 million? You kiddin' me?

364
00:22:10,086 --> 00:22:11,820
Like I'm gonna take money
from my best friend.

365
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,362
Things like this just
don't happen every day!

366
00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:16,030
This is incredible news! $30 million!

367
00:22:16,130 --> 00:22:19,491
The man just got $30 million given to him.
This is a good day.

368
00:22:19,591 --> 00:22:20,908
We're always gonna remember this day.

369
00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:24,160
$30 million! That makes us rich!
Well, not us. It makes him rich.

370
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,078
What a great day we're havin'! Me?

371
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,829
He's havin' a wonderful day!

372
00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:30,890
But I'm havin' a good time too!
I'm his best friend.

373
00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:55,706
Jesus!

374
00:22:56,915 --> 00:23:00,627
This is real... Money.

375
00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:05,672
Oh, we're gonna have
a lot of fun with this kind of money.

376
00:23:08,299 --> 00:23:09,491
This is the real deal.

377
00:23:09,591 --> 00:23:11,175
It is, indeed, Mr. Brewster.

378
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,926
Now let's not be rash with
our newfound money.

379
00:23:13,026 --> 00:23:14,051
Right.

380
00:23:14,151 --> 00:23:16,886
Jake, I'd like to hire you
as my official photographer.

381
00:23:16,986 --> 00:23:20,055
- Salary $10,000 a week.
- $10,000 a week? This guy's a jerk!

382
00:23:20,155 --> 00:23:22,490
Hey, shut up. I accept.

383
00:23:23,199 --> 00:23:25,409
Hey, hold still for the camera,
Mr. Brewster.

384
00:23:26,701 --> 00:23:29,853
Not bad for a guy that didn't finish his first
year of college, wouldn't you say?

385
00:23:29,953 --> 00:23:31,771
Oh, you're doing great, but, uh,

386
00:23:31,871 --> 00:23:34,648
I don't think you inherited me
with your money, Mr. Brewster.

387
00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:38,776
Needless to say, we'll be offering you
the special 24% interest rate

388
00:23:38,876 --> 00:23:42,504
we reserve for major corporations
and a few of our Arab friends.

389
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,572
I don't want any interest!

390
00:23:44,672 --> 00:23:47,091
I want it in a regular account
that doesn't pay anything.

391
00:23:47,466 --> 00:23:49,742
After all, it's your vault.
I should be paying you rent.

392
00:23:49,842 --> 00:23:52,035
- Very good, Mr. Brewster.
- But Mr. Brewster...

393
00:23:52,135 --> 00:23:56,055
You'd be giving up $7.2 million
a year just in interest alone!

394
00:23:56,889 --> 00:23:59,666
Because I'm rich doesn't mean I should take
advantage of people. Am I right?

395
00:23:59,766 --> 00:24:02,501
Oh, yes. Right you are, Mr. Brewster.

396
00:24:02,601 --> 00:24:06,062
I'd like to get $3 million in cash
now and take it with me.

397
00:24:06,729 --> 00:24:09,506
$3 million? You know how much
money $3 million in cash is?

398
00:24:09,606 --> 00:24:11,549
You don't walk around
the street with $3 million!

399
00:24:11,649 --> 00:24:14,234
- You'd need an army of security guards.
- The man's right.

400
00:24:15,610 --> 00:24:16,635
What do they pay you here?

401
00:24:16,735 --> 00:24:18,636
About 350 a week before taxes.

402
00:24:18,736 --> 00:24:21,430
You can't live on that.
This is a dangerous job!

403
00:24:21,530 --> 00:24:24,557
I'll pay you $2,000 a week
to be the chief of my security.

404
00:24:24,657 --> 00:24:27,392
- No-no-no-no-no.
- Oh, yes. That's wrong. Okay.

405
00:24:27,492 --> 00:24:28,934
$4,000 a week.

406
00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:31,852
And you get 20 other guys,
and I'll pay 'em $3,000 a week.

407
00:24:31,952 --> 00:24:32,936
You missed the point.

408
00:24:33,036 --> 00:24:35,521
Now go in there and get
the $3 million and follow me!

409
00:24:35,621 --> 00:24:36,605
Yes, sir!

410
00:24:36,705 --> 00:24:38,039
Everybody, follow me!

411
00:24:38,414 --> 00:24:40,732
Monty, listen to me.
This is Spike, your old pal.

412
00:24:40,832 --> 00:24:42,917
You don't do things like that!

413
00:24:45,002 --> 00:24:47,195
Put it in a T-bill. Is that so wrong?

414
00:24:47,295 --> 00:24:48,654
Listen to me. What are you doin'?

415
00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:49,738
I'll tell you what's goin' on...

416
00:24:49,838 --> 00:24:51,948
- You don't even know those people!
- They're gonna think I'm crazy.

417
00:24:52,048 --> 00:24:54,157
But I'm not. You got to stick with me,
'cause this is it!

418
00:24:54,257 --> 00:24:56,325
- This is the way we're gonna beat the system!
- What system?

419
00:24:56,425 --> 00:24:59,994
The baseball system! You got more heart
than any catcher I've ever worked with, man.

420
00:25:00,094 --> 00:25:02,621
And I can get anybody out
for three innings, anybody!

421
00:25:02,721 --> 00:25:05,956
And with this inheritance, man,
this is our ticket to the big leagues!

422
00:25:06,056 --> 00:25:07,999
- You understand? You with me?
- No!

423
00:25:08,099 --> 00:25:10,267
- Well, yeah!
- Well, let's go!

424
00:25:13,061 --> 00:25:15,904
That's right.
That's right Take some pictures.

425
00:25:20,108 --> 00:25:21,675
I want everything on film.
I need a record of it.

426
00:25:21,775 --> 00:25:22,776
For what?

427
00:25:23,651 --> 00:25:24,676
Strike!

428
00:25:24,776 --> 00:25:27,344
Watch the goddamn ball, Johnson!

429
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:31,113
You're not a farmer! You don't have
to swing at shit in the dirt!

430
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,032
What? Collect call from who?

431
00:25:36,450 --> 00:25:38,559
Switchboard says it's Brewster.

432
00:25:38,659 --> 00:25:39,643
He's callin' me from jail.

433
00:25:39,743 --> 00:25:42,328
- Just what I need.
- Tell him he owes me 200 bucks.

434
00:25:44,079 --> 00:25:46,122
Yeah, I'll accept the call.

435
00:25:47,456 --> 00:25:51,650
Charley, I'm not drunk. I'm in New York,
and I just inherited 30 million bucks.

436
00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:54,444
I'm about to go
into negotiations to buy the team.

437
00:25:54,544 --> 00:25:56,236
Actually, I'm gonna rent the team.

438
00:25:56,336 --> 00:26:00,548
- Ball!
- What kind of a crap play is that?

439
00:26:00,839 --> 00:26:03,132
- Wilson, you idiot!
- You're out!

440
00:26:04,508 --> 00:26:07,761
You don't steal second
when you're down two runs!

441
00:26:08,970 --> 00:26:12,539
Brewster, do me a favor.
Go crazy on your own time and charges.

442
00:26:12,639 --> 00:26:15,041
This whole team's going to shit,
and we're gonna miss the play-offs.

443
00:26:15,141 --> 00:26:16,475
I ain't in the mood for no jokes!

444
00:26:16,766 --> 00:26:17,749
That's why I love you, Charley.

445
00:26:17,849 --> 00:26:20,543
And that's why I'm gonna raise your salary.
Because I love your dedication.

446
00:26:20,643 --> 00:26:22,645
Charley, I'm gonna get
the team new uniforms,

447
00:26:22,978 --> 00:26:25,981
a team bus with air conditioning and a TV!

448
00:26:26,147 --> 00:26:29,066
And we're arrange it
so that we can play the New York Yankees!

449
00:26:29,608 --> 00:26:32,969
Right. Right. Okay, just tell me
one thing, Mr. Millionaire.

450
00:26:33,069 --> 00:26:35,095
You're so rich,
why are you calling collect?

451
00:26:35,195 --> 00:26:37,221
They gave me $100 bills, Charley.

452
00:26:37,321 --> 00:26:39,323
I had to rent this quarter
from my accountant.

453
00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:43,993
Yeah, I know. It's a big problem.
Nighty-night, sweet prince.

454
00:26:44,451 --> 00:26:47,829
Nighty-night? Charley!
He doesn't believe me.

455
00:26:53,251 --> 00:26:55,319
Thanks for the loaning of the quarter.

456
00:26:55,419 --> 00:26:58,338
- Wow! Now, that's really nice.
- Oh, it's beautiful.

457
00:26:58,796 --> 00:27:00,655
But there is no way
I can see spending over

458
00:27:00,755 --> 00:27:03,573
a couple hundred thousand dollars
for something you wear around your neck.

459
00:27:03,673 --> 00:27:06,116
You know how many
hungry people that could feed?

460
00:27:06,216 --> 00:27:07,884
Let's go to lunch.

461
00:27:09,510 --> 00:27:10,928
Yo! Taxi!

462
00:27:13,764 --> 00:27:16,541
- Who the hell is that?
- Monty Brewster, the richest guy in the world.

463
00:27:16,641 --> 00:27:17,583
And I work for him.

464
00:27:17,683 --> 00:27:18,667
Monty who?

465
00:27:18,767 --> 00:27:23,671
How would you like to be my personal driver
for the next 30 days at $5,000 a week?

466
00:27:23,771 --> 00:27:27,298
You want to hire
a piece of shit car for $5,000 a week?

467
00:27:27,398 --> 00:27:29,674
- Cash!
- What a country!

468
00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:31,008
America, I love it!

469
00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:34,594
Mr. Brewster, you could hire
a fleet of limousines for that money!

470
00:27:34,694 --> 00:27:37,095
She's right.
You know where to hire limousines?

471
00:27:37,195 --> 00:27:38,220
Yeah.

472
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,181
All right. I want you to hire me three of the
most expensive limousines with drivers,

473
00:27:42,281 --> 00:27:44,766
and bring the receipts
and give 'em to Miss Drake.

474
00:27:44,866 --> 00:27:46,534
- Yes, sir!
- We go to lunch now.

475
00:27:46,926 --> 00:27:49,428
Hey! Everybody!
Anybody want to go to lunch?

476
00:27:49,678 --> 00:27:50,662
I'm buying.

477
00:27:50,762 --> 00:27:52,472
Yeah!

478
00:27:54,807 --> 00:27:57,375
- I want pictures of this!
- Buzz off. I'm his personal photographer.

479
00:27:57,475 --> 00:28:00,544
Hey, what's this? Screw you!
This is a free country!

480
00:28:00,644 --> 00:28:02,771
What are you... Here. Focus on that!

481
00:28:04,606 --> 00:28:06,232
Come on, Spike!

482
00:28:06,649 --> 00:28:08,484
Wait for me, pal! Wait for me!

483
00:28:11,862 --> 00:28:12,904
Hey...

484
00:28:18,992 --> 00:28:20,368
- Taxi!
- Taxi!

485
00:28:22,036 --> 00:28:23,728
- What's your name?
- Melvin.

486
00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:26,330
- Melvin, give him $500.
- Yes, sir.

487
00:28:28,464 --> 00:28:32,334
- Look at all that money!
- You have the most beautiful eyes.

488
00:28:32,667 --> 00:28:35,277
Mr. Brewster, I have been
hired to keep your accounts

489
00:28:35,377 --> 00:28:37,987
for the next 30 days,
and that's the extent of my services.

490
00:28:38,087 --> 00:28:40,322
Uh, to where is our destination?

491
00:28:41,631 --> 00:28:42,948
Monty! How are you doin', pal?

492
00:28:43,048 --> 00:28:44,657
- Give me that.
- Watch it! Watch the lens!

493
00:28:44,757 --> 00:28:46,741
Chump, I'm Spike! We're right behind ya!

494
00:28:46,841 --> 00:28:49,051
That's Spike. We're buddies.
We're all together.

495
00:28:49,176 --> 00:28:51,327
I'll buy you a cab later, huh?

496
00:29:07,317 --> 00:29:09,760
Two hundred people at a $100 a head.

497
00:29:09,860 --> 00:29:12,387
No. We're hungry. $200 a head!

498
00:29:12,487 --> 00:29:14,555
And, uh, what's your most
expensive wine you have?

499
00:29:14,655 --> 00:29:18,283
Oh, that's the Chateau Lafite 1961.
It's $400 a bottle.

500
00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:20,017
You guys like Lafite?

501
00:29:20,117 --> 00:29:21,368
Yeah!

502
00:29:35,715 --> 00:29:39,176
Excuse my expression,
but you think I'm a real asshole, don't ya?

503
00:29:39,551 --> 00:29:43,079
A country bumpkin that flashes his money
around like some big shot?

504
00:29:43,179 --> 00:29:46,182
- I'm your accountant. I'm not your judge.
- What college you go to?

505
00:29:46,432 --> 00:29:48,666
I don't see that that has
anything to do with anything.

506
00:29:48,766 --> 00:29:49,999
Come on, give me a break.

507
00:29:50,099 --> 00:29:51,666
All I want to know
is what college you went to.

508
00:29:51,766 --> 00:29:54,835
- All right. I went to Loyola. That's in...
- Loyola.

509
00:29:54,935 --> 00:29:58,396
Chicago
I know the city, and I know the college.

510
00:30:01,899 --> 00:30:04,318
You wanna put that back?

511
00:30:06,987 --> 00:30:08,655
And the ashtray.

512
00:30:11,741 --> 00:30:13,767
Why don't you go sit somewhere else?

513
00:30:13,867 --> 00:30:15,184
Why don't you get off my back?

514
00:30:15,284 --> 00:30:17,435
And why don't you
use your fork, not your fingers.

515
00:30:17,535 --> 00:30:20,162
- That's how it's usually done. Yeah.
- Oh, is that right?

516
00:30:20,871 --> 00:30:24,249
Boss found a job for you yet, by the way?
Like designated eater?

517
00:30:25,166 --> 00:30:27,376
Look, I don't want a job. I'm his friend.

518
00:30:27,584 --> 00:30:28,943
What's that pay?

519
00:30:32,921 --> 00:30:35,239
Why don't you
let me hire someone to do that for you,

520
00:30:35,339 --> 00:30:36,840
and we could have a lot of fun tonight.

521
00:30:37,465 --> 00:30:40,242
Oh, that's very flattering,
but I'm meeting my fiance.

522
00:30:40,342 --> 00:30:41,576
Who's the lucky guy?

523
00:30:41,676 --> 00:30:44,661
Warren Cox. He's a junior partner
at Granville and Baxter.

524
00:30:44,761 --> 00:30:47,121
- Is he a lawyer too?
- He's not just a lawyer.

525
00:30:47,221 --> 00:30:50,832
He's involved with the Sierra Club,
anti-nuclear movement, UNICEF.

526
00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:54,060
- And he's a sincere feminist.
- I bet.

527
00:30:54,643 --> 00:30:58,128
But a guy like that with so many activities,
where's he find the time for you?

528
00:30:58,228 --> 00:30:59,962
It's hard sometimes.

529
00:31:00,062 --> 00:31:03,590
- But we're trying to do more things together.
- I'd like to meet him sometime.

530
00:31:03,690 --> 00:31:06,859
- He's a very busy man.
- I'd pay him for his time.

531
00:31:07,734 --> 00:31:09,385
I don't think so.

532
00:31:09,485 --> 00:31:13,012
I know you think you can buy up
everything and everybody in the world,

533
00:31:13,112 --> 00:31:16,598
but I doubt
that you could ever buy Warren.

534
00:31:16,698 --> 00:31:19,892
This is Chuck Fleming,
Action News, in midtown Manhattan.

535
00:31:19,992 --> 00:31:22,852
Now arriving at
the Plaza Hotel is Montgomery Brewster,

536
00:31:22,952 --> 00:31:25,270
minor league baseball pitcher
who earlier today

537
00:31:25,370 --> 00:31:28,105
inherited $30 million tax-free

538
00:31:28,205 --> 00:31:30,207
and is still celebrating.

539
00:31:31,875 --> 00:31:34,193
Mr. Brewster, what are you going to
do with all that money?

540
00:31:34,293 --> 00:31:36,402
Uh, spend it! No, just kidding.

541
00:31:36,502 --> 00:31:40,237
I'm forming a corporation tonight,
and tomorrow morning we go into business.

542
00:31:40,337 --> 00:31:42,030
What kind of business
is that, Mr. Brewster?

543
00:31:42,130 --> 00:31:45,449
What kind of business?
As you know, my business is baseball.

544
00:31:45,549 --> 00:31:48,743
But since I've inherited $30 million,
I have to expand and branch out.

545
00:31:48,843 --> 00:31:51,787
I've always had a soft spot
in my heart for artists and, uh,

546
00:31:51,887 --> 00:31:55,873
painters, writers, inventors...
And I'm gonna form this business.

547
00:31:55,973 --> 00:31:57,582
And I want everybody to get a shot.

548
00:31:57,682 --> 00:32:00,643
I don't care if you've been turned
down a thousand times, I'm hiring!

549
00:32:00,976 --> 00:32:03,419
How many people have you
hired already, Mr. Brewster?

550
00:32:03,519 --> 00:32:08,714
Uh, well, I think you should ask
my senior vice president, uh, Spike Nolan!

551
00:32:08,814 --> 00:32:10,632
- Yeah. Spike. I'm paying him...
- Ha!

552
00:32:10,732 --> 00:32:13,633
...$100,000 a month to figure that out.

553
00:32:13,733 --> 00:32:17,810
100,000! Did you hear? 100,000 a month!

554
00:32:17,910 --> 00:32:19,970
Chuck Fleming!

555
00:32:20,237 --> 00:32:23,139
- Hey, are we on the air now? Is this workin'?
- Yes. Right there.

556
00:32:23,239 --> 00:32:25,557
Can I say something to all the people
who thought I was a loser, Chuck?

557
00:32:25,657 --> 00:32:27,558
Sure.

558
00:32:27,658 --> 00:32:30,226
Thanks, Chuck! Hey, Monty! Monty!

559
00:32:30,326 --> 00:32:33,329
That was Spike Nolan,
he's the catcher for the Hackensack Bulls.

560
00:32:33,579 --> 00:32:36,898
Mr. Brewster, I would love to
accommodate you and your friends,

561
00:32:36,998 --> 00:32:40,084
but the top two floors
have already been reserved.

562
00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,735
They'll be occupied
within the next two weeks.

563
00:32:42,835 --> 00:32:46,196
- How much are they paying?
- $100,000 a week.

564
00:32:46,296 --> 00:32:48,673
- Oh.
- Wow. Mister, uh...

565
00:32:49,256 --> 00:32:50,924
- Carter.
- Mr. Carter.

566
00:32:51,633 --> 00:32:54,135
I like your hotel.
My friends like your hotel.

567
00:32:54,385 --> 00:32:56,870
- You like this hotel?
- I like this hotel. I love it.

568
00:32:56,970 --> 00:32:58,346
He loves it too.

569
00:32:58,530 --> 00:33:01,390
Listen. I'll tell you what.
For the next month,

570
00:33:01,490 --> 00:33:03,033
I'll pay you...

571
00:33:03,742 --> 00:33:06,286
$1 million in cash.

572
00:33:10,748 --> 00:33:12,615
Sign here, please.

573
00:33:42,737 --> 00:33:45,906
Hey, Melvin.
How are they hanging, my friend?

574
00:33:46,197 --> 00:33:49,491
Hey, you look good. Real big league.

575
00:34:00,543 --> 00:34:02,903
- Nice, huh?
- They're in the bedroom.

576
00:34:03,003 --> 00:34:04,988
Thanks for your help.

577
00:34:10,217 --> 00:34:13,845
Monty! Hey, old Monty, old pal!

578
00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:17,581
- Hey, pal, get a load of this, huh?
- Get a load of...

579
00:34:17,681 --> 00:34:21,082
What do you think? I found it all in one
shop, from the shoes all the way up to this.

580
00:34:21,182 --> 00:34:22,499
This was made for Johnny Bench.

581
00:34:22,599 --> 00:34:23,916
He didn't pick it up,
so they gave it to me.

582
00:34:24,016 --> 00:34:25,500
A catcher's mask!

583
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,460
- Oh, Monty, I can't thank you enough.
- It's, uh...

584
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,853
- What do you think, huh?
- Hey!

585
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,338
- They just made that for you?
- Yeah.

586
00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:36,841
Wow. Honest? Too conservative for me.

587
00:34:36,941 --> 00:34:38,258
- Too... What are you talking...
- For me!

588
00:34:38,358 --> 00:34:41,927
- This is the new Spike Nolan here.
- I know, but this is great.

589
00:34:42,027 --> 00:34:44,178
Well, great on you,
but great is your accountant.

590
00:34:44,278 --> 00:34:45,470
Very nice.

591
00:34:45,570 --> 00:34:47,596
Yeah, she's nice,
but she thinks I'm a lowlife.

592
00:34:47,696 --> 00:34:50,431
- I can understand that.
- Get out of here! What are you talkin' about?

593
00:34:50,531 --> 00:34:52,224
Gentlemen, do you think I'm a lowlife?

594
00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:54,183
Oh, no, Mr. Brewster.

595
00:34:54,283 --> 00:34:56,976
- Not with these clothes.
- See what I mean?

596
00:34:57,076 --> 00:34:58,185
Ooh, and you listen to these people?

597
00:34:58,285 --> 00:34:59,995
Hey, look at all the suits I got.

598
00:35:01,705 --> 00:35:04,691
Now, look.
I know that this is none of my business,

599
00:35:04,791 --> 00:35:06,776
but at the rate you're going,
you'll have spent

600
00:35:06,876 --> 00:35:10,086
your entire inheritance in less than a month,
and you'll have nothing to show for it.

601
00:35:10,503 --> 00:35:14,590
Excuse me, sir. There's a Mr. Warren Cox
here to see Miss Drake.

602
00:35:15,465 --> 00:35:18,718
- Mr. Cox?
- Warren! How you doing?

603
00:35:19,218 --> 00:35:21,453
- Monty Brewster. Pleased to meet you.
- Hello.

604
00:35:21,553 --> 00:35:22,995
I've heard so much about you.

605
00:35:23,095 --> 00:35:27,265
My God. I hear you're a swell fellow.
We're drinking some champagne.

606
00:35:27,723 --> 00:35:28,724
- Hello, dear.
- Hi.

607
00:35:29,558 --> 00:35:32,377
That's sweet. I'll get this.
Is it raining out?

608
00:35:32,477 --> 00:35:34,753
Not at the moment, but you never know.

609
00:35:34,853 --> 00:35:37,338
Better safe than sorry.
That's my philosophy too.

610
00:35:37,438 --> 00:35:40,424
- Uh, have a drink.
- Oh, thank you. No, I don't drink alcohol.

611
00:35:40,524 --> 00:35:42,300
Uh-oh. We're going to be late
for that benefit.

612
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,633
- Benefit?
- Yes.

613
00:35:43,733 --> 00:35:45,426
It's the Committee to Ban Contact Sports.

614
00:35:45,526 --> 00:35:49,304
Studies have shown sanctioned violence has
a detrimental effect on our young people,

615
00:35:49,404 --> 00:35:52,514
so I do a little legal work
for the committee.

616
00:35:52,614 --> 00:35:54,849
You guys ain't messin' around
with baseball, are you?

617
00:35:54,949 --> 00:35:57,225
Baseball? No, no.
Boxing, football, ice hockey...

618
00:35:57,325 --> 00:35:59,643
- You know, the truly barbaric sports.
- Oh.

619
00:35:59,743 --> 00:36:01,995
I'd like to make a small contribution,
if I may.

620
00:36:02,286 --> 00:36:04,562
You know,
I think we're gonna be very late.

621
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:07,689
Darling, this is what the benefit
is for, to raise money.

622
00:36:07,789 --> 00:36:09,732
In a sense,
we're at the benefit, right now.

623
00:36:09,832 --> 00:36:12,251
And so am I. $100,000 okay?

624
00:36:12,626 --> 00:36:17,088
$100,000? Thank you, very, very much.

625
00:36:17,588 --> 00:36:18,839
Here, have a drink.

626
00:36:19,214 --> 00:36:20,465
Thank you. I will.

627
00:36:21,257 --> 00:36:22,424
Warren, you don't even drink.

628
00:36:22,882 --> 00:36:25,658
- Well, one little sip won't hurt, dear.
- That's right.

629
00:36:27,458 --> 00:36:28,492
Mmm.

630
00:36:28,592 --> 00:36:31,702
This is a really wonderful suite
you have, Mr. Brewster.

631
00:36:31,802 --> 00:36:34,221
- I'm glad you like it.
- Yes. Oh, look at that.

632
00:36:34,471 --> 00:36:38,766
Two Louis XVI chairs
with a good tapestry fabric.

633
00:36:39,767 --> 00:36:42,478
That's a nice attempt
at a classic French piano.

634
00:36:43,270 --> 00:36:44,879
Marie Therese chandelier...

635
00:36:44,979 --> 00:36:46,838
Yeah, I see what your
decorator was trying to do here.

636
00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:50,424
There's a definite continuity
to all the elements in the room.

637
00:36:50,524 --> 00:36:52,842
Personally, I'd of done
a few things differently, but...

638
00:36:52,942 --> 00:36:55,569
- Mr. Cox, you know so much about this stuff.
- Well...

639
00:36:56,194 --> 00:36:59,930
My ex-wife Marilyn's a decorator,
and a lot of it rubbed off on me.

640
00:37:00,030 --> 00:37:02,240
- You know, you could really help me out.
- How's that?

641
00:37:03,074 --> 00:37:07,144
Well I'd like for you
to redecorate my offices.

642
00:37:07,244 --> 00:37:10,914
I'd pay you, of course. Uh, $250,000?

643
00:37:11,205 --> 00:37:13,457
- I don't know what to say.
- Say yes.

644
00:37:14,708 --> 00:37:17,168
Mr. Brewster, I'm a lawyer.

645
00:37:17,626 --> 00:37:21,379
I'm sure New York is full of decorators who
would die for that kind of opportunity.

646
00:37:22,129 --> 00:37:25,447
Really, this is so out of left field,
to use a metaphor from your profession.

647
00:37:25,547 --> 00:37:27,532
If you think the job's
too big for you to handle, just say no.

648
00:37:27,632 --> 00:37:28,574
No.

649
00:37:28,674 --> 00:37:31,635
I mean, I'm not saying no. Not at all.
I'm not saying that.

650
00:37:31,885 --> 00:37:35,204
Warren, you're a lawyer.
You are not a decorator!

651
00:37:35,304 --> 00:37:37,413
There's nothing wrong
with being a decorator.

652
00:37:37,513 --> 00:37:39,038
Marilyn makes a rather good living at it.

653
00:37:39,138 --> 00:37:42,141
- That's it! Marilyn, she could help you.
- What?

654
00:37:42,474 --> 00:37:44,708
I'd pay her $100,000,
if that's not an insult.

655
00:37:44,808 --> 00:37:49,294
Well, I'd have to ask her,
but, uh, I think she'd be delighted.

656
00:37:49,394 --> 00:37:51,629
I mean, you were telling me
how you never get to see your fiance.

657
00:37:51,729 --> 00:37:53,755
This way, you get to see him every day.

658
00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:56,006
- Just trying to be helpful.
- Mmm-hmm.

659
00:37:56,106 --> 00:37:58,216
And what about your job
at the firm and our honeymoon?

660
00:37:58,316 --> 00:38:01,677
- Well, it would only be for a couple of weeks.
- Couple of weeks.

661
00:38:01,777 --> 00:38:02,861
We've got a whole lifetime
for our honeymoon.

662
00:38:03,152 --> 00:38:04,153
A whole lifetime.

663
00:38:04,444 --> 00:38:07,655
- It's been a pleasure meeting you. Monty?
- Warren.

664
00:38:08,298 --> 00:38:10,283
Angela wanted me to phone up
from the lobby, but, no,

665
00:38:10,383 --> 00:38:14,161
I thought would come up here
and meet you, mano-a-mano.

666
00:38:14,261 --> 00:38:17,097
- I'm glad I did.
- Warren, me too.

667
00:38:17,472 --> 00:38:21,601
- Let's go, Warren.
- You're leaving? Oh, goodness, no.

668
00:38:22,101 --> 00:38:23,894
Hey, wait a minute!

669
00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:27,838
- Better safe than sorry.
- Good night, Mr. Brewster.

670
00:38:27,938 --> 00:38:29,981
Hey, call me Monty. Warren does.

671
00:38:31,190 --> 00:38:33,258
Hey, let me get the door.

672
00:38:33,358 --> 00:38:37,011
- Thank you. Yes. I will.
- And you drive careful.

673
00:38:37,111 --> 00:38:38,511
- Good night. Nice meeting you.
- Good night.

674
00:38:38,611 --> 00:38:40,279
Nice meeting you.

675
00:38:42,030 --> 00:38:44,240
Now that was a real asshole!

676
00:38:46,909 --> 00:38:51,330
You want a month off
to be Mr. Brewster's interior decorator?

677
00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:56,192
I, uh, realize that it's
a rather unorthodox request,

678
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:58,335
but it's an incredible opportunity.

679
00:38:58,460 --> 00:39:00,694
He actually wants me
to start working for him this morning

680
00:39:00,794 --> 00:39:02,462
in, uh, about 20 minutes.

681
00:39:03,588 --> 00:39:04,672
How much is he paying you?

682
00:39:05,130 --> 00:39:06,506
A quarter of million dollars, sir.

683
00:39:15,263 --> 00:39:18,373
Yes, we understand
that kind of opportunity.

684
00:39:18,473 --> 00:39:20,933
I think a leave of absence
can be arranged.

685
00:39:21,433 --> 00:39:23,542
As I'm sure you know,

686
00:39:23,642 --> 00:39:27,295
Mr. Horn was our most important client.

687
00:39:27,395 --> 00:39:29,713
And the firm is naturally concerned with

688
00:39:29,813 --> 00:39:33,024
how Mr. Brewster
conducts himself with his inheritance.

689
00:39:33,983 --> 00:39:36,051
If you're in his employ,

690
00:39:36,151 --> 00:39:40,554
it could make it easier for us
if you could act as our eyes and ears.

691
00:39:40,654 --> 00:39:42,864
Absolutely. No problem.

692
00:39:43,739 --> 00:39:45,991
My first loyalty
would always be to the firm.

693
00:39:46,282 --> 00:39:48,951
- Hmm.
- Hmm. Keep us posted.

694
00:39:51,370 --> 00:39:55,499
Oh, and don't mention this conversation
to Miss Drake or anyone else.

695
00:39:55,749 --> 00:39:57,542
Oh, of course not. No.

696
00:39:58,668 --> 00:40:00,169
And thank you.

697
00:40:00,627 --> 00:40:02,128
Thank you both very much.

698
00:40:04,380 --> 00:40:05,864
- Good morning, Melvin.
- Good morning, Mr. Brewster.

699
00:40:05,964 --> 00:40:08,841
- Here's the money. You think I'm crazy?
- Crazy?

700
00:40:09,091 --> 00:40:11,551
- Of course not.
- Let's go do business.

701
00:40:22,686 --> 00:40:24,921
- Hi, Monty. Big day ahead, pal.
- Okay. Great.

702
00:40:25,021 --> 00:40:27,172
Let's do some business,
and kick some butt around here!

703
00:40:27,272 --> 00:40:29,590
- All right. Let's kick some butt around here!
- What?

704
00:40:29,690 --> 00:40:32,091
- What? Who the hell are you?
- Who the hell are you?

705
00:40:32,191 --> 00:40:35,010
Who the hell am I? I'm Morty King,
king of the mimics, that's who!

706
00:40:35,110 --> 00:40:37,345
Anything you say
I guarantee it'll be repeated.

707
00:40:37,445 --> 00:40:39,071
I'm like an X-Erox machine.

708
00:40:39,529 --> 00:40:42,573
- No, Warren. Hold it more to the left.
- Your left or my left?

709
00:40:42,781 --> 00:40:45,784
Oh, look, there's Warren.
That must be Marilyn. Hey!

710
00:40:45,992 --> 00:40:47,726
- You just watch your mouth.
- You just watch your mouth.

711
00:40:47,826 --> 00:40:50,520
Don't you remember
anything I ever taught you?

712
00:40:50,620 --> 00:40:52,605
It's my left. It's always my left.

713
00:40:52,705 --> 00:40:54,039
It's the decorator's left.

714
00:40:54,664 --> 00:40:56,040
- Hey.
- Watch out!

715
00:40:58,292 --> 00:41:00,694
Oh, Warren! Oh, are you okay?

716
00:41:00,794 --> 00:41:03,237
- Oh. Ah.
- Oh, God. Be careful.

717
00:41:03,337 --> 00:41:05,839
- Hi. I'm Monty Brewster.
- Monty Brewster?

718
00:41:06,256 --> 00:41:08,616
How do you do?
I've heard so much about you.

719
00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:10,367
Please, may I call you Monty?

720
00:41:10,467 --> 00:41:12,076
- Of course.
- Of course.

721
00:41:12,176 --> 00:41:14,035
Oh, Monty, I have the
most wonderful idea for you.

722
00:41:14,135 --> 00:41:17,412
I am going to do for you
a postmodern fantasy in here.

723
00:41:17,512 --> 00:41:19,955
- Oh, I knew this was a terrible idea.
- What are you saying?

724
00:41:20,055 --> 00:41:21,723
You don't like the postmodern
fantasy look?

725
00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:25,292
- Shut your eyes, and see Mesopotamia...
- Mesopotamia.

726
00:41:25,392 --> 00:41:27,960
- Meeting Busby Berkeley.
- Yes, that sounds...

727
00:41:28,060 --> 00:41:29,728
- Yes. It's a knockout.
- It's a knockout.

728
00:41:29,936 --> 00:41:31,020
We're gonna knock out the walls too.

729
00:41:31,395 --> 00:41:33,254
- Every one. Everywhere.
- Every one. Everywhere.

730
00:41:33,354 --> 00:41:34,629
- Spare no expense.
- Spare no expense.

731
00:41:34,729 --> 00:41:36,588
Will you shut up?

732
00:41:36,688 --> 00:41:38,714
It's only for a month, darling.

733
00:41:38,814 --> 00:41:41,399
And it's going to be a very long month.

734
00:41:41,690 --> 00:41:44,258
- Get... Get four sets.
- Get... Get four sets.

735
00:41:44,358 --> 00:41:46,009
Wonderful. Fine. Fine.

736
00:41:46,109 --> 00:41:50,054
Oh, Angela. Angela.
Please, I need to speak to you. Please.

737
00:41:50,154 --> 00:41:52,472
Angela, did Warren tell you
that I have decided,

738
00:41:52,572 --> 00:41:56,266
as my wedding gift to you two, I am going
to decorate your apartment for free.

739
00:41:56,366 --> 00:41:57,367
That's great, Marilyn.

740
00:41:57,742 --> 00:41:59,618
- Thank you.
- Pas de quoi.

741
00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:04,079
Mr. Brewster, I'm a real good manicurist.

742
00:42:05,872 --> 00:42:07,481
Spike, You know what I'd like you to do?

743
00:42:07,581 --> 00:42:08,648
- What's that?
- Choke this guy.

744
00:42:08,748 --> 00:42:09,773
My pleasure.

745
00:42:09,873 --> 00:42:12,108
Come on, asshole!

746
00:42:12,208 --> 00:42:13,442
I'll give you a line on anything.

747
00:42:13,542 --> 00:42:15,109
Baseball, basketball,
football, the ponies.

748
00:42:15,209 --> 00:42:16,526
Whatever you want!

749
00:42:16,626 --> 00:42:17,776
Come on with me.

750
00:42:17,876 --> 00:42:20,093
I gotta stop here at my desk
and get my messages.

751
00:42:20,668 --> 00:42:22,277
Excuse me. Pardon me. Please, sir.

752
00:42:22,377 --> 00:42:24,320
I'd like to call
your attention to this area right here.

753
00:42:24,420 --> 00:42:26,488
This is the Arabian desert.
It is a dry as a bone.

754
00:42:26,588 --> 00:42:29,823
It's a place where a glass of ice water
can cost $5.00 a glass, sir.

755
00:42:29,923 --> 00:42:31,949
Now, up here. This is the North Pole.
It's an ice floe,

756
00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:35,493
and throughout this region
of the North Atlantic are many icebergs, sir.

757
00:42:35,593 --> 00:42:39,162
And nobody owns them. They're PDIs.
Public Domain Icebergs.

758
00:42:39,262 --> 00:42:42,289
I think you're beginning to recognize
how simple and pure this idea is.

759
00:42:42,389 --> 00:42:46,267
Now, what I would like to do is go the North
Pole, select a good-sized iceberg,

760
00:42:46,409 --> 00:42:48,602
and simply dig out a chamber
from the rear end of it,

761
00:42:48,702 --> 00:42:51,604
drop in two 20,000-horsepower
marine diesel engines,

762
00:42:51,704 --> 00:42:55,773
and sail Brewstersberg
number one to Mecca.

763
00:42:55,873 --> 00:42:56,857
What do you think, sir?

764
00:42:58,041 --> 00:43:00,251
- I don't know what to think.
- Mr. Brewster, line three.

765
00:43:01,502 --> 00:43:03,445
- Hello. Yes. What?
- Mr. Brewster, it went up!

766
00:43:03,545 --> 00:43:05,046
It went up? Well, sell it.

767
00:43:05,379 --> 00:43:07,506
Don't sell it!
You buy it when it's like that.

768
00:43:08,298 --> 00:43:09,323
It's a great idea. What's your name?

769
00:43:09,423 --> 00:43:10,407
- Luther.
- Luther, listen.

770
00:43:10,507 --> 00:43:12,950
I'd like to bet on
every long shot in every race,

771
00:43:13,050 --> 00:43:14,784
50-to-1 and over this week at Aqueduct.

772
00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:16,743
For the week? Yeah, I can cover it.

773
00:43:16,843 --> 00:43:18,702
- Great. How much to get this off the ground?
- Oh, maybe...

774
00:43:18,802 --> 00:43:21,871
Oh, no, no, no, no.
This thing melts, and he knows it!

775
00:43:21,971 --> 00:43:25,707
We would experience a loss of only 18%
through evaporation and melting.

776
00:43:25,807 --> 00:43:29,251
Hey. Think of what that means to all
those thirsty Arab farmers! It's great!

777
00:43:29,351 --> 00:43:30,459
What thirsty Arab farmers?

778
00:43:30,559 --> 00:43:32,377
There aren't any! There just aren't any!

779
00:43:32,477 --> 00:43:34,437
'Cause there's no farmers
in the desert, Monty!

780
00:43:34,937 --> 00:43:36,605
Well, I think that's unfair!

781
00:43:37,105 --> 00:43:40,716
Loyola vs. Notre Dame
in a field hockey game? This is fabulous.

782
00:43:40,816 --> 00:43:41,883
You went to Loyola, didn't you?

783
00:43:41,983 --> 00:43:43,008
You gotta be kidding!

784
00:43:43,108 --> 00:43:46,111
Listen, I want to bet $50,000
that Loyola wins!

785
00:43:46,319 --> 00:43:48,637
$50,000 on Loyola over Notre Dame

786
00:43:48,737 --> 00:43:50,846
and $5,000 on every
50-to-1 long shot for the week.

787
00:43:50,946 --> 00:43:52,822
- Sir, you are down!
- He's doin' it!

788
00:43:53,072 --> 00:43:55,223
It's field hockey.

789
00:43:55,323 --> 00:43:58,849
If I gave you a million dollars for this
iceberg thing, would that be enough?

790
00:43:58,949 --> 00:44:01,750
A million dollars. Yes.
That would be great, sir.

791
00:44:01,850 --> 00:44:02,934
- Hello.
- Brewster.

792
00:44:03,034 --> 00:44:04,727
Charley! How you doin', my man?

793
00:44:04,827 --> 00:44:06,770
- All right.
- That's great. I just bought an iceberg.

794
00:44:06,870 --> 00:44:08,229
- What?
- Wait till you see the uniforms I rented.

795
00:44:08,329 --> 00:44:09,896
Not yet, he hasn't. Not yet.

796
00:44:09,996 --> 00:44:12,022
- And I rented our home stadium.
- What?

797
00:44:12,122 --> 00:44:14,440
Yes, and I'm gonna spare
no expense and fix it up

798
00:44:14,540 --> 00:44:16,649
and make it look
like a big league stadium!

799
00:44:16,749 --> 00:44:19,568
It's gonna be great because
we're gonna play an exhibition game.

800
00:44:19,668 --> 00:44:20,777
With the Yankees, three innings!

801
00:44:20,877 --> 00:44:21,860
The Yankees?

802
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:22,944
And I'm pitching!

803
00:44:23,044 --> 00:44:24,111
- New York Yankees!
- What the hell's goin' on?

804
00:44:24,211 --> 00:44:26,671
- I gotta get these guys on the bus!
- Charley, don't take the bus.

805
00:44:38,765 --> 00:44:41,375
Chuck Fleming, Action News.
I'm here at Battery Park

806
00:44:41,475 --> 00:44:43,501
with Montgomery Brewster and entourage

807
00:44:43,601 --> 00:44:46,545
anxiously awaiting the arrival
of the Hackensack Bulls,

808
00:44:46,645 --> 00:44:48,630
in New York City
for the first time to tune up

809
00:44:48,730 --> 00:44:52,691
for an unprecedented challenge game
with the famed New York Yankees.

810
00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:55,442
Naturally, Monty Brewster
intends to pitch.

811
00:45:24,173 --> 00:45:27,450
Christ sakes, Brewster.
You fly us all the way from Jersey,

812
00:45:27,550 --> 00:45:29,826
and then you get these
choppers to fly us back here!

813
00:45:29,926 --> 00:45:32,035
We took the bus,
we would've been here two hours ago!

814
00:45:32,135 --> 00:45:35,179
Tell my team,
from now on we travel first class!

815
00:45:36,930 --> 00:45:39,474
Hey, Charley, welcome to New York City!

816
00:45:41,808 --> 00:45:42,750
You guys look great!

817
00:45:42,850 --> 00:45:44,959
How do you like the new uniforms?

818
00:45:45,810 --> 00:45:48,479
You gotta wait till you see the
apartments I rented for you guys.

819
00:45:48,979 --> 00:45:51,940
- He rented apartments for these guys?
- Apartments?

820
00:45:52,315 --> 00:45:54,466
Penthouses with swimming pools.

821
00:45:54,566 --> 00:45:57,009
Twenty-seven players,
everybody's got their own place.

822
00:45:57,109 --> 00:45:58,718
We're gonna have a lot of fun, men,

823
00:45:58,818 --> 00:46:01,386
because we're gonna get in shape, and
we're gonna beat the Yankees!

824
00:46:01,486 --> 00:46:03,154
All right!

825
00:46:03,654 --> 00:46:06,055
If you ask me,
they oughta lock him up for his own good.

826
00:46:06,155 --> 00:46:07,556
And what the hell
does he think he's doin'?

827
00:46:07,656 --> 00:46:10,016
The Yankees see this,
they're really gonna rub it in.

828
00:46:10,116 --> 00:46:11,892
Come on, Charley, relax!

829
00:46:11,992 --> 00:46:13,726
Enjoy yourself!

830
00:46:16,661 --> 00:46:18,579
Huh? Is that great?

831
00:46:22,833 --> 00:46:26,194
- I hope we haven't underestimated him.
- I beg your pardon?

832
00:46:26,294 --> 00:46:27,945
Oh, you're doing fine, Warren.

833
00:46:28,045 --> 00:46:31,114
This is precisely the kind of
flagrant misuse of money

834
00:46:31,214 --> 00:46:32,823
that we want you to keep us apprised of.

835
00:46:32,923 --> 00:46:34,866
- Oh, he's wasting millions of dollars.
- Mmm.

836
00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:38,177
You should see what he spent
on the decorations alone.

837
00:46:38,552 --> 00:46:40,912
Wait till you see the practice field.

838
00:46:41,012 --> 00:46:44,015
It's great. I'm gonna
have the bus take us over to the island.

839
00:46:44,306 --> 00:46:46,207
The practice field's on Long Island?

840
00:46:46,307 --> 00:46:49,543
- Yeah.
- Brewster, the airport's on Long Island.

841
00:46:49,643 --> 00:46:52,003
You flew us all the way in
from the airport to here

842
00:46:52,103 --> 00:46:54,254
so we could take the bus
back to Long Island?

843
00:46:54,354 --> 00:46:57,173
I couldn't get the band on the runway.
They wouldn't let me!

844
00:46:57,273 --> 00:46:59,508
No matter how much money I offered them.

845
00:46:59,608 --> 00:47:02,218
Oh, yeah.
You can't play baseball without a band.

846
00:47:02,318 --> 00:47:04,570
Right. Come on. Let's get on the bus.

847
00:47:04,695 --> 00:47:07,072
One-two, one-two, one-two.

848
00:47:07,238 --> 00:47:09,030
Come on! Come on! Move it! Move it!

849
00:47:13,592 --> 00:47:16,761
Beautiful, Benny!
Tinkers to Evers to shit!

850
00:47:17,094 --> 00:47:18,953
Pick it up! The white ball. That's it!

851
00:47:19,053 --> 00:47:23,039
Hey! Come on! Jesus, I don't know
what's the matter with those guys.

852
00:47:23,139 --> 00:47:24,723
We play better than this. Honest we do.

853
00:47:25,265 --> 00:47:28,017
- Maybe they're tight right now.
- Maybe they're tired.

854
00:47:28,434 --> 00:47:31,562
Maybe it was that long flight
you chartered from Newark.

855
00:47:32,563 --> 00:47:35,006
I'm gonna go warm up, Miss Drake.

856
00:47:35,106 --> 00:47:37,382
Why don't you try the same?

857
00:47:37,482 --> 00:47:40,384
Hey, come on! Look good out there!

858
00:47:40,484 --> 00:47:42,944
Let's do a 6-4-3. Pepper it up!

859
00:47:46,405 --> 00:47:49,698
Hey, Collins, you got trouble with your
glove, try catching it with your ass!

860
00:48:08,007 --> 00:48:10,509
Hi, operator?
Mr. Brewster's suite, please.

861
00:48:14,887 --> 00:48:16,388
Aw, God...

862
00:48:17,806 --> 00:48:18,932
Time.

863
00:48:24,896 --> 00:48:27,089
- What?
- Hi, Brewster. This is Angela.

864
00:48:27,189 --> 00:48:29,191
- Angela who?
- Angela Drake.

865
00:48:30,150 --> 00:48:32,426
- Miss Drake.
- Um, I was wondering.

866
00:48:32,526 --> 00:48:34,635
Could I come up there
and talk to you for a minute?

867
00:48:34,735 --> 00:48:36,511
- Talk to me? Now?
- Mmm-hmm.

868
00:48:36,611 --> 00:48:38,762
- Uh, perhaps in the morning.
- Oh, no. Monty?

869
00:48:38,862 --> 00:48:40,780
This is very important,
and I need to see you now.

870
00:48:47,703 --> 00:48:50,605
- Can't you tell me over the phone?
- No, because, look.

871
00:48:50,705 --> 00:48:54,983
This is something that could do both of us
a world of good, if you know what I mean.

872
00:48:55,083 --> 00:48:57,710
- Have you been drinking?
- No, not at all.

873
00:48:59,336 --> 00:49:02,589
- And you want to come up to my room, now?
- Mmm-hmm.

874
00:49:08,553 --> 00:49:10,346
- Miss Drake?
- Uh-huh?

875
00:49:12,222 --> 00:49:13,873
- Angela.
- Yes.

876
00:49:13,973 --> 00:49:15,975
- Give me five minutes.
- Okay.

877
00:49:20,312 --> 00:49:23,798
That was Miss Drake. She says
there's a mad bomber in the building.

878
00:49:23,898 --> 00:49:25,357
They're getting
all the people out of the hotel.

879
00:49:26,191 --> 00:49:30,386
Listen, get your wrap. You go away,
and you could come back tomorrow.

880
00:49:30,486 --> 00:49:31,737
We can start all over.

881
00:49:31,903 --> 00:49:33,345
Well, did he fall for it?

882
00:49:33,445 --> 00:49:35,846
- Yes, he fell for it.
- What do you look so unhappy for?

883
00:49:35,946 --> 00:49:38,038
We're doing it for his own good.

884
00:49:38,488 --> 00:49:39,739
Come on!

885
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:41,406
Adieu.

886
00:49:42,407 --> 00:49:44,767
Been expecting you. The door's open.

887
00:49:44,867 --> 00:49:47,143
Come in, the door's open.

888
00:49:48,143 --> 00:49:50,354
Angela, hello.

889
00:49:50,454 --> 00:49:52,372
Hello, Angela. Just be cool.

890
00:49:55,666 --> 00:49:57,108
- Hi, Spike.
- Hi.

891
00:49:57,208 --> 00:49:59,960
She's really a very nice girl.
You should get to know...

892
00:50:00,418 --> 00:50:01,836
- Hi.
- Hi, Spike.

893
00:50:04,255 --> 00:50:06,423
The door's open. Come in.

894
00:50:10,993 --> 00:50:13,203
Hi, Eugene Provost, financial advisor.

895
00:50:13,303 --> 00:50:15,121
- Pleasure to meet you.
- Who in hell is this?

896
00:50:15,221 --> 00:50:17,663
- He's a big league money man.
- Money?

897
00:50:17,763 --> 00:50:21,750
Look, for the past five years,
this guy's predicted 88%.

898
00:50:21,850 --> 00:50:24,210
88% of what this guy says makes money!

899
00:50:24,310 --> 00:50:27,129
88.4% to be exact, but who's counting?

900
00:50:27,229 --> 00:50:29,589
I'm so confident of my ability
to make you money,

901
00:50:29,689 --> 00:50:33,258
I will only take 15%
of your profits after taxes.

902
00:50:33,358 --> 00:50:36,402
In other words, I only get paid
if you profit from my advice.

903
00:50:37,152 --> 00:50:41,514
Then you're hired.
$100,000 a week plus 15%.

904
00:50:41,614 --> 00:50:44,308
Monty, the man doesn't want the $100,000.

905
00:50:44,408 --> 00:50:46,392
Well, the man's gonna
have to take $100,000,

906
00:50:46,492 --> 00:50:50,604
because that's what the job pays.
$100,000 a week, plus 15%.

907
00:50:50,704 --> 00:50:52,313
What do you say?

908
00:50:52,413 --> 00:50:54,356
I'll make an exception
in your case, Mr. Brewster.

909
00:50:54,456 --> 00:50:56,124
- Good!
- Sure. Join the club.

910
00:50:57,625 --> 00:51:01,503
Hey, 9:15.
It's way past your bedtime, Miss Drake.

911
00:51:02,086 --> 00:51:04,529
You'll never know, Mr. Brewster.

912
00:51:04,629 --> 00:51:07,780
Be sure to get home before the sun comes up.
You know what I mean?

913
00:51:10,090 --> 00:51:11,966
Good night, gentlemen.

914
00:51:15,094 --> 00:51:18,305
Come on. Settle down, will ya?
You'll throw your arm out.

915
00:51:18,972 --> 00:51:23,141
God damn it. She's gonna be real mad
when she finds out what's goin' on.

916
00:51:27,895 --> 00:51:29,796
Will you forget about Angela?

917
00:51:29,896 --> 00:51:31,713
She's a bad investment.

918
00:51:31,813 --> 00:51:33,731
Now, Eugene has helped
me out with my investments.

919
00:51:33,981 --> 00:51:37,509
You know, precious metals, rare coins,

920
00:51:37,609 --> 00:51:39,885
some old stamps, stuff like that.

921
00:51:39,985 --> 00:51:42,654
- He says it's a ledge against inflation.
- Stamps.

922
00:51:59,628 --> 00:52:02,714
Thank you. I'm just in time.
Do you sell stamps?

923
00:52:03,464 --> 00:52:06,950
I think that you want
the stationery store across the street.

924
00:52:07,050 --> 00:52:09,660
The stamps we have here
are very rare, very expensive.

925
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:10,761
How expensive?

926
00:52:11,803 --> 00:52:15,206
- Well, let me show you, Mr., uh...
- Montgomery Brewster.

927
00:52:15,306 --> 00:52:20,002
Montgomery Brewster! I have been
reading about you in the newspaper.

928
00:52:20,102 --> 00:52:22,420
I'd like to see your most expensive stamp.

929
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,146
Ah! One moment.

930
00:52:27,190 --> 00:52:30,717
This may be the first intelligent thing
he's done with his money since he got it.

931
00:52:30,817 --> 00:52:33,010
Maybe he's comin' to his senses, you know?

932
00:52:33,110 --> 00:52:35,470
- What do you think?
- Hey, I'm gettin' paid to take pictures.

933
00:52:35,570 --> 00:52:37,196
My job is not to interpret reality.

934
00:52:38,530 --> 00:52:41,865
- You're a real jerk, you know that?
- Ain't that the truth.

935
00:52:42,065 --> 00:52:43,575
Hey, tell it to my accountant.

936
00:52:43,908 --> 00:52:48,579
As you can see, the airplane was
accidentally printed upside-down.

937
00:52:49,037 --> 00:52:51,789
Of the 100 of these stamps
originally printed,

938
00:52:51,973 --> 00:52:55,416
this is the only known copy in existence.

939
00:52:55,558 --> 00:53:00,104
Baron Levitsky recently offered $850,000
for it, and I laughed in his face.

940
00:53:07,694 --> 00:53:10,780
I'd say the stamp he bought
is a considerable asset.

941
00:53:11,238 --> 00:53:14,824
He doesn't even understand the rules yet.
Let's see him get out of this one.

942
00:53:18,284 --> 00:53:20,101
- Good morning, Mr. Granville.
- Good morning.

943
00:53:20,201 --> 00:53:21,185
Here's the mail.

944
00:53:21,285 --> 00:53:22,227
Thank you.

945
00:53:22,327 --> 00:53:24,561
- Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?
- Hold on for a minute.

946
00:53:24,661 --> 00:53:27,163
I may want to send you to the files.

947
00:53:27,329 --> 00:53:28,313
Norris.

948
00:53:28,413 --> 00:53:29,414
Hmm?

949
00:53:29,872 --> 00:53:32,165
Hackensack Bulls.

950
00:53:33,291 --> 00:53:35,401
"Having a wonderful time.
Wish you were here.

951
00:53:35,501 --> 00:53:38,295
"Best wishes, Monty Brewster."

952
00:53:44,884 --> 00:53:48,679
God! It isn't an asset anymore.
He's mailed it!

953
00:53:50,138 --> 00:53:51,121
Get Cox over here.

954
00:53:51,221 --> 00:53:52,222
Right away, sir.

955
00:53:52,847 --> 00:53:54,223
The son of a bitch.

956
00:53:54,973 --> 00:53:58,334
So, in strictest confidence,
you can see how vital it is to the firm

957
00:53:58,434 --> 00:54:01,461
that Brewster does not succeed
in spending that $30 million, Warren.

958
00:54:01,561 --> 00:54:03,754
He's made a fool of you
and of your ex-wife.

959
00:54:03,854 --> 00:54:05,922
We think he has designs
on your fiance as well.

960
00:54:06,022 --> 00:54:09,967
A small error in bookkeeping discovered at
the last moment ought to do the trick.

961
00:54:10,067 --> 00:54:12,927
Say, a $20,000 mistake
in Brewster's favor.

962
00:54:13,027 --> 00:54:14,260
It'll be our little insurance policy.

963
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:19,431
And the $300 million will go to the firm.
Granville, Baxter and Cox.

964
00:54:19,531 --> 00:54:21,241
Welcome aboard, Warren.

965
00:54:21,699 --> 00:54:25,268
The big story on Wall Street today
is that Icebergs International

966
00:54:25,368 --> 00:54:27,353
has been bought out by Wometco Petroleum

967
00:54:27,453 --> 00:54:30,772
in order to secure
tax benefits within the Common Market.

968
00:54:30,872 --> 00:54:32,981
The buy-out will enable
the parent company to free up...

969
00:54:33,081 --> 00:54:36,192
Is he a genius, or is he a genius?

970
00:54:36,292 --> 00:54:37,776
Can't understand it, Mr. Brewster?

971
00:54:37,876 --> 00:54:42,654
The stock, which was valued at 1.5,
now has a par value of over $9.00 a share.

972
00:54:42,754 --> 00:54:43,779
In other news...

973
00:54:43,879 --> 00:54:46,155
I want to sell my stock in the iceberg!

974
00:54:46,255 --> 00:54:47,781
- Sell? Oh, no.
- Yeah!

975
00:54:47,881 --> 00:54:49,615
That doesn't seem like a smart thing...

976
00:54:49,715 --> 00:54:51,616
- Uh, Mr. Brewster...
- What?

977
00:54:51,716 --> 00:54:53,242
You see, the parent company, Wometco,

978
00:54:53,342 --> 00:54:56,536
is one of the strongest organizations
in the world petroleum market.

979
00:54:56,636 --> 00:54:59,788
And they've been consistently good
performers in profits and dividends.

980
00:54:59,888 --> 00:55:02,206
You don't want to sell, Mr. Brewster.
You've got a lot of obligations.

981
00:55:02,306 --> 00:55:05,292
You got a huge payroll to meet,
you got overhead, retirement plans.

982
00:55:05,392 --> 00:55:06,959
You don't want to lay anyone off, do ya?

983
00:55:07,059 --> 00:55:08,435
No, I don't want to lay anyone off.

984
00:55:13,773 --> 00:55:16,633
Count it. It's all there.
Nothing but long shots, huh?

985
00:55:16,733 --> 00:55:19,710
Well, you just won yourself
a cool million-five, wise guy.

986
00:55:21,069 --> 00:55:24,638
The word is out on you.
I had to lay these bets off all over town.

987
00:55:24,738 --> 00:55:27,014
You don't make another bet
in this city again, ever!

988
00:55:27,114 --> 00:55:29,891
- I just...
- Loyola 18, Notre Dame, zilch.

989
00:55:29,991 --> 00:55:31,141
Thanks a lot, baby.

990
00:55:32,408 --> 00:55:35,768
This is unreported income, gained
from an illegal venture, Mr. Brewster.

991
00:55:35,868 --> 00:55:38,912
I would recommend you immediately
dispatch a courier to Switzerland

992
00:55:39,287 --> 00:55:41,414
and deposit this money
in a secret numbered account.

993
00:55:41,664 --> 00:55:43,774
I don't want it!
I'm gonna give it to charity!

994
00:55:43,874 --> 00:55:46,067
- What's your favorite charity?
- Oh, I don't know.

995
00:55:46,167 --> 00:55:49,879
- There are so many worthwhile charities.
- So many worthwhile charities!

996
00:55:50,087 --> 00:55:53,656
Good. Divide it up amongst the many
charities, and give it to them.

997
00:55:53,756 --> 00:55:56,283
And everybody go back to work,
because this is a business.

998
00:55:56,383 --> 00:55:58,868
And we're in the business of being in
business, and we're doin' business.

999
00:55:58,968 --> 00:56:01,261
And nobody's business. Do it.
Business. Good.

1000
00:56:01,803 --> 00:56:04,263
I want business done.
That's the way it should be.

1001
00:56:04,638 --> 00:56:06,514
When you do business...

1002
00:56:07,139 --> 00:56:09,833
That was so wonderful,
what you just did in there.

1003
00:56:09,933 --> 00:56:12,460
Look, I know you think
I'm always complaining, but it's not that.

1004
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,670
It's just that I can't stand seeing these
people take advantage of you anymore.

1005
00:56:15,770 --> 00:56:18,672
Miss Drake, I'm very sorry.
And I appreciate what you're trying to do.

1006
00:56:18,772 --> 00:56:21,507
- But you don't know what I'm trying to do.
- What are you trying to do?

1007
00:56:21,607 --> 00:56:24,443
- What I'm trying to do...
- Oh, Monty?

1008
00:56:25,986 --> 00:56:28,471
Could you step in here
for a moment, please?

1009
00:56:28,571 --> 00:56:30,597
- Of course, Marilyn.
- Good afternoon, Angela.

1010
00:56:30,697 --> 00:56:33,282
- Hello, Marilyn.
- Well, Monty...

1011
00:56:34,157 --> 00:56:36,684
What do you think
of our postmodern fantasy?

1012
00:56:36,784 --> 00:56:38,226
Well, darling,

1013
00:56:38,326 --> 00:56:40,144
Marilyn's really outdone
herself this time, don't you think?

1014
00:56:40,244 --> 00:56:42,354
- Oh, Warren.
- It's good!

1015
00:56:42,454 --> 00:56:45,123
It is very good, Marilyn.
But it's not great.

1016
00:56:45,540 --> 00:56:48,358
You see, Marilyn, I want you to reach deep
down inside yourself this time,

1017
00:56:48,458 --> 00:56:51,002
and come up with something
specifically unique.

1018
00:56:51,460 --> 00:56:53,778
I want to walk in this room
and say to myself,

1019
00:56:53,878 --> 00:56:56,672
"Monty, I want to die in this room."

1020
00:56:57,464 --> 00:57:00,116
I want to die in this room, Marilyn.

1021
00:57:00,216 --> 00:57:01,783
And double the workmen's salary.

1022
00:57:01,883 --> 00:57:03,826
I mean, they look exhausted.

1023
00:57:03,926 --> 00:57:06,553
Help out! Come on! It's a business!

1024
00:57:08,179 --> 00:57:11,540
Angela, I'm not going to be
able to make dinner, darling.

1025
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:13,725
There's just too much
to be done around here.

1026
00:57:14,142 --> 00:57:16,144
Whatever you say, Warren.

1027
00:57:17,311 --> 00:57:19,354
A room you want to die in.

1028
00:57:20,438 --> 00:57:22,422
- What? What?
- What were you trying to tell me before?

1029
00:57:22,522 --> 00:57:24,548
Miss Drake, I don't know how
to explain this to you, but...

1030
00:57:24,648 --> 00:57:27,342
Even though I'm not
the person that you thought I was,

1031
00:57:27,442 --> 00:57:30,052
I'm not the person that
you think I am now, either.

1032
00:57:30,152 --> 00:57:33,029
Yes, but I don't understand why when you
make money you get so miserable,

1033
00:57:33,213 --> 00:57:34,864
then when you lose it, you act so happy.

1034
00:57:34,964 --> 00:57:36,990
Uh, that's because I can't
get used to being rich.

1035
00:57:37,090 --> 00:57:39,784
But you could do great things with all
that money. You mustn't squander it.

1036
00:57:39,884 --> 00:57:41,927
Squander it? What are you talking about?
I'm making millions.

1037
00:57:42,218 --> 00:57:43,785
We didn't get off to a very good start.

1038
00:57:43,885 --> 00:57:46,829
And I thought we'd take a little
ride and get to know each other.

1039
00:57:46,929 --> 00:57:49,080
You'll find out I'm not
such a bad guy, after all.

1040
00:57:49,180 --> 00:57:50,831
Miss Drake, your chariot awaits!

1041
00:57:50,931 --> 00:57:53,082
Oh, no, Mr. Brewster. I can't accept this.

1042
00:57:53,182 --> 00:57:55,333
This is a $125,000 car.

1043
00:57:55,433 --> 00:57:57,935
Eugene said I needed a tax write-off.

1044
00:57:58,226 --> 00:58:00,836
Can't we just take a ride
without having an argument?

1045
00:58:00,936 --> 00:58:05,231
I promise not to spend any money,
except on you for lunch.

1046
00:58:05,940 --> 00:58:08,525
All right, but just to eat lunch,
and then that's it.

1047
00:58:19,786 --> 00:58:22,438
- So where shall we go?
- You're driving.

1048
00:58:22,538 --> 00:58:25,207
Oh, I know this nice little
restaurant near the place I grew up.

1049
00:58:26,082 --> 00:58:27,875
Now, it's not fancy, but...

1050
00:58:28,542 --> 00:58:31,819
- What the... Are you all right?
- I think so.

1051
00:58:31,919 --> 00:58:33,503
- You sure?
- Yeah.

1052
00:58:39,342 --> 00:58:40,659
I'm terribly sorry.

1053
00:58:40,759 --> 00:58:43,077
The parking attendant left
my car in first.

1054
00:58:43,177 --> 00:58:45,287
And when I turned on
the ignition, it shot forward.

1055
00:58:45,387 --> 00:58:46,412
Are you all right?

1056
00:58:46,512 --> 00:58:48,096
- Yes.
- Fine, fine, but you look hurt.

1057
00:58:48,346 --> 00:58:49,621
Honestly, I'm fine.

1058
00:58:49,721 --> 00:58:51,931
Look, look, here's my driver's license.

1059
00:58:52,306 --> 00:58:55,041
Great! Great! Don't be ridiculous.
Put that away.

1060
00:58:55,141 --> 00:58:58,127
You're in a state of shock.
Emotional trauma.

1061
00:58:58,227 --> 00:58:59,211
What are you talking about?

1062
00:58:59,311 --> 00:59:00,336
Brain damage.

1063
00:59:00,436 --> 00:59:02,129
He's got brain damage
and doesn't even know it.

1064
00:59:02,229 --> 00:59:04,522
Hey, George! Get an ambulance!

1065
00:59:05,064 --> 00:59:07,232
Are you all right, Mr. Brewster?

1066
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:09,883
Brewster? Montgomery Brewster?

1067
00:59:09,983 --> 00:59:11,734
Yes, that's me. See?

1068
00:59:12,901 --> 00:59:16,095
I really don't feel very good.
I'm starting to lose feeling in my legs.

1069
00:59:16,195 --> 00:59:18,680
Oh, stop it!
Can't you see this man is faking?

1070
00:59:18,780 --> 00:59:20,222
Faking?
I can't have this on my conscience.

1071
00:59:20,322 --> 00:59:22,724
This man's going to be paralyzed for life.

1072
00:59:22,824 --> 00:59:25,142
Dear sir, do you think
you could settle this out of court

1073
00:59:25,242 --> 00:59:27,560
for a couple of hundred thousand dollars?

1074
00:59:27,660 --> 00:59:29,119
Two ex-wives.

1075
00:59:29,452 --> 00:59:30,911
Two ex-wives?

1076
00:59:31,494 --> 00:59:33,287
300,000?

1077
00:59:33,495 --> 00:59:34,729
You go to the doctor's right away, okay?

1078
00:59:34,829 --> 00:59:35,813
Uh-huh.

1079
00:59:35,913 --> 00:59:40,167
And you're giving him this
for a prescription, and you'll be all right.

1080
00:59:40,834 --> 00:59:41,818
Thank you.

1081
00:59:41,918 --> 00:59:42,919
Have a good day!

1082
00:59:44,420 --> 00:59:46,488
Get a cold compress
for that thing on your head,

1083
00:59:46,588 --> 00:59:48,339
and a large bottle of Aspirin!

1084
00:59:48,839 --> 00:59:50,090
Nice man.

1085
00:59:51,174 --> 00:59:53,117
See, the check will be a receipt.

1086
00:59:53,217 --> 00:59:55,577
Well, I'm starving.
I'm ready to go to lunch now.

1087
00:59:55,677 --> 00:59:56,744
I wanna meet your family.

1088
00:59:56,844 --> 00:59:57,911
- Meet my family?
- Yeah.

1089
00:59:58,011 --> 00:59:59,203
What do you wanna do? Buy 'em?

1090
00:59:59,303 --> 01:00:02,389
I would be ashamed to introduce
my family to somebody like you!

1091
01:00:02,514 --> 01:00:04,665
Angela! Wait. Listen to me.

1092
01:00:04,765 --> 01:00:07,000
Angela! Will you wait a minute?

1093
01:00:07,100 --> 01:00:09,293
I did the best I could.
That wasn't that man's fault.

1094
01:00:09,393 --> 01:00:10,418
Yes, I know it wasn't.

1095
01:00:10,518 --> 01:00:12,002
But the first time
you get some money, what do you do?

1096
01:00:12,102 --> 01:00:15,271
You spend it and show off.
You just gave away $300,000!

1097
01:00:15,604 --> 01:00:16,980
Oh, my God.

1098
01:00:18,856 --> 01:00:20,131
- Oh, look at that.
- Yeah.

1099
01:00:20,231 --> 01:00:21,315
Oh, is that awful.

1100
01:00:21,732 --> 01:00:24,359
I don't believe it. Oh, how tasteless.

1101
01:00:25,318 --> 01:00:27,886
Boy, that girl is ungrateful,
considering all the things

1102
01:00:27,986 --> 01:00:30,405
you've done to try to improve her.

1103
01:00:31,072 --> 01:00:33,866
I just think this is unforgivable.

1104
01:00:36,785 --> 01:00:37,827
Thank you.

1105
01:00:41,372 --> 01:00:44,356
I realize you're not very interested
in what Marilyn and I are doing,

1106
01:00:44,456 --> 01:00:47,817
but we have a real shot
at getting our work into AD next month.

1107
01:00:47,917 --> 01:00:49,442
AD?

1108
01:00:49,542 --> 01:00:51,210
Architectural Digest.

1109
01:00:52,294 --> 01:00:54,445
That's really wonderful.
I'm very happy for you and Marilyn.

1110
01:00:54,545 --> 01:00:55,529
Are you all right?

1111
01:00:55,629 --> 01:00:58,615
Look, Warren, I'm not very happy
with this whole situation.

1112
01:00:58,715 --> 01:01:00,574
You could have fooled me.

1113
01:01:00,674 --> 01:01:01,949
What's that supposed to mean?

1114
01:01:02,049 --> 01:01:05,552
It means that you and Monty seem to
be getting along awfully well.

1115
01:01:05,927 --> 01:01:07,995
And give everybody else in
here whatever they're drinking.

1116
01:01:08,095 --> 01:01:10,205
It doesn't matter.
Champagne, anything, as long as I'm here.

1117
01:01:10,305 --> 01:01:11,472
Yes, sir, Mr. Brewster.

1118
01:01:11,805 --> 01:01:14,756
Drinks on the house!
Courtesy of Mr. Brewster.

1119
01:01:15,306 --> 01:01:18,041
Well, Monty Brewster's extravagance
knows no bounds.

1120
01:01:18,141 --> 01:01:21,168
After paying the highest-recorded
price ever for a stamp,

1121
01:01:21,268 --> 01:01:24,337
Brewster today shelled out
a record $600,000

1122
01:01:24,437 --> 01:01:27,606
for five cases of 114-year-old
French wine.

1123
01:01:27,897 --> 01:01:29,923
He stunned the crowd here
at Weatherby's auction house

1124
01:01:30,023 --> 01:01:32,258
by not only paying in cash for the wine,

1125
01:01:32,358 --> 01:01:36,301
but by opening all 60 bottles
at a reception for the public afterwards.

1126
01:01:36,401 --> 01:01:37,968
At $10,000 a bottle,

1127
01:01:38,068 --> 01:01:41,137
that is gotta be the most expensive hangover
this reporter's ever heard of.

1128
01:01:41,237 --> 01:01:42,529
Chuck Fleming. Action News.

1129
01:01:47,951 --> 01:01:49,494
- Angela?
- What?

1130
01:01:50,244 --> 01:01:52,288
I asked if your feelings had changed.

1131
01:01:52,388 --> 01:01:53,972
Look, how can I make it
any clearer for you?

1132
01:01:54,263 --> 01:01:56,247
Can you please pay for the drinks
and let's get out of here?

1133
01:01:56,347 --> 01:01:58,223
We don't have to pay for the drinks.
They're on Monty.

1134
01:02:00,850 --> 01:02:02,351
- Brewster?
- Yes?

1135
01:02:03,060 --> 01:02:05,920
Looks like you've
got a busy evening ahead of you.

1136
01:02:06,020 --> 01:02:07,546
Yeah, I'm too busy to have fun.

1137
01:02:07,646 --> 01:02:09,213
I got to spend money, right?

1138
01:02:09,313 --> 01:02:12,048
I must say, mailing that
stamp was quite ingenious.

1139
01:02:12,148 --> 01:02:14,091
You liked that?
How about the wine auction?

1140
01:02:14,191 --> 01:02:15,800
Again, very imaginative.

1141
01:02:15,900 --> 01:02:18,861
I understand it cost $600,000,
according to Miss Drake.

1142
01:02:21,530 --> 01:02:23,932
There she goes again, as usual.

1143
01:02:24,032 --> 01:02:27,643
I am sick and tired of acting
like a rich asshole for everybody.

1144
01:02:27,743 --> 01:02:28,727
I'm fed up.

1145
01:02:28,827 --> 01:02:31,312
Maybe I should've took
Uncle Rupert's wimp clause.

1146
01:02:31,412 --> 01:02:33,271
I don't think I'm gonna
pull this off, do you?

1147
01:02:33,371 --> 01:02:34,688
I don't know, Mr. Brewster.

1148
01:02:34,788 --> 01:02:38,207
But that baseball game you're planning
sounds like a step in the right direction.

1149
01:02:43,003 --> 01:02:46,756
My left leg. See? I planted it down wrong.
I was off-balance.

1150
01:02:49,216 --> 01:02:52,493
Ooh! Go ahead, Monty.
Now that's the Monty I know.

1151
01:02:52,593 --> 01:02:53,618
- That's it.
- Hi, Monty.

1152
01:02:53,718 --> 01:02:55,610
How's it going, buddy?

1153
01:02:56,677 --> 01:02:57,619
Tell him the good news, Eugene.

1154
01:02:57,719 --> 01:02:58,953
No, you tell him. It was your idea.

1155
01:02:59,053 --> 01:03:00,746
All right, I got some good
news and some bad news for you.

1156
01:03:00,846 --> 01:03:02,663
- Well, tell him the bad news first.
- All right, all right.

1157
01:03:02,763 --> 01:03:04,789
Here's the bad news.
I did exactly what you wanted me to do.

1158
01:03:04,889 --> 01:03:06,790
I got rid of all your iceberg stocks.

1159
01:03:06,890 --> 01:03:08,833
- That's great.
- That's the bad news.

1160
01:03:08,933 --> 01:03:10,042
- You ready for the good news?
- Yeah.

1161
01:03:10,142 --> 01:03:11,876
Okay, here it comes.
I took Eugene's advice, all right?

1162
01:03:11,976 --> 01:03:14,962
Admittedly, without you knowing, I used the
corporate name. I hope you don't mind.

1163
01:03:15,062 --> 01:03:17,255
- No, no.
- I made some investments for you.

1164
01:03:17,355 --> 01:03:18,630
- That's okay.
- What did I buy?

1165
01:03:18,730 --> 01:03:21,131
I bought a commodity thing
and I bought an oil well thing.

1166
01:03:21,231 --> 01:03:22,798
He just made you $10 million.

1167
01:03:22,898 --> 01:03:24,923
$10 million!

1168
01:03:25,774 --> 01:03:27,550
Isn't that wonderful?

1169
01:03:27,650 --> 01:03:29,902
$10 million, $10 million, $10 million!

1170
01:03:32,738 --> 01:03:34,681
No! Damn it!

1171
01:03:34,781 --> 01:03:37,575
I'm right back where I started, damn it!

1172
01:03:42,413 --> 01:03:43,580
Jesus.

1173
01:03:45,748 --> 01:03:49,835
$10 million. $10 million.

1174
01:03:52,587 --> 01:03:54,947
What's the matter, Monty? I mean...

1175
01:03:55,047 --> 01:03:58,232
I make the guy $10 million
and he acts like it's a funeral.

1176
01:03:58,924 --> 01:04:01,134
It's American money, you know.

1177
01:04:01,509 --> 01:04:03,010
Congratulations.

1178
01:04:03,343 --> 01:04:05,995
About that furniture
you wanted Marilyn and me to rent,

1179
01:04:06,095 --> 01:04:10,890
I'm afraid the company's requiring
a substantial cash deposit. $20,000.

1180
01:04:15,269 --> 01:04:18,313
$20,000. Hey, don't forget.

1181
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:21,090
To give Angela the receipt? I know.

1182
01:04:21,190 --> 01:04:23,008
Have to keep those books straight,
don't we, darling?

1183
01:04:23,108 --> 01:04:24,192
Yeah.

1184
01:04:25,359 --> 01:04:26,610
So long.

1185
01:04:35,869 --> 01:04:38,496
I'd like to be alone. By myself.

1186
01:04:38,954 --> 01:04:40,271
Sure. There's no problem there, Monty.

1187
01:04:40,371 --> 01:04:42,355
You know, you're probably
getting psyched up for the Yankee game.

1188
01:04:42,455 --> 01:04:43,605
That's what he always does this, you know.

1189
01:04:43,705 --> 01:04:45,022
He gets a little cranky like this.

1190
01:04:45,122 --> 01:04:47,065
It's only 'cause he's getting
psyched up for a big game.

1191
01:04:47,165 --> 01:04:49,709
You know, sometimes
it works, sometimes it doesn't.

1192
01:04:50,126 --> 01:04:52,378
This time we'll just leave him alone.

1193
01:04:53,295 --> 01:04:54,362
I don't get it.

1194
01:04:54,462 --> 01:04:55,779
Yeah, what the hell is with him?

1195
01:04:55,879 --> 01:04:58,739
I think we should consider
the possibility of psychiatric help.

1196
01:04:58,839 --> 01:04:59,881
What are you? Nuts?

1197
01:05:10,557 --> 01:05:11,641
Okay.

1198
01:05:16,937 --> 01:05:19,380
With less than two weeks
remaining until the election,

1199
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:23,508
this station is sorry to report
that it finds itself unable to endorse

1200
01:05:23,608 --> 01:05:26,302
either of the candidates
for mayor of New York.

1201
01:05:26,402 --> 01:05:31,180
Both Mr. Heller and Mr. Salvino have
been pumping scandalous amounts of money

1202
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:33,556
into slick advertising campaigns

1203
01:05:33,656 --> 01:05:36,475
that so far have demonstrated
little more than their ability

1204
01:05:36,575 --> 01:05:40,186
to slander each other
and squander campaign contributions.

1205
01:05:40,286 --> 01:05:41,728
In the view of this station,

1206
01:05:41,828 --> 01:05:44,897
the only issue being raised
by the Heller-Salvino debate

1207
01:05:44,997 --> 01:05:47,607
is whether the city
of New York is for sale,

1208
01:05:47,707 --> 01:05:50,751
and just how much slush money
it will take to buy it.

1209
01:05:56,089 --> 01:05:59,116
Running for political office
is extremely expensive, unless you win.

1210
01:05:59,216 --> 01:06:00,908
And it's unheard of
to do it with your own money.

1211
01:06:01,008 --> 01:06:02,367
Yeah. What does he know about politics?

1212
01:06:02,467 --> 01:06:03,450
That is not the point.

1213
01:06:03,550 --> 01:06:05,409
He's trying to do some good
with his money.

1214
01:06:05,509 --> 01:06:07,202
Look, I've finally figured
this whole thing out.

1215
01:06:07,302 --> 01:06:09,119
That's why he gets so upset
when he makes a profit.

1216
01:06:09,219 --> 01:06:10,929
'Cause it makes him feel guilty.

1217
01:06:11,429 --> 01:06:13,848
He's trying to do the right thing
for once in his life.

1218
01:06:17,517 --> 01:06:18,518
Mr. Brewster!

1219
01:06:19,810 --> 01:06:20,835
Mr. Brewster!

1220
01:06:20,935 --> 01:06:23,378
Mr. Brewster! Mr. Brewster!

1221
01:06:23,478 --> 01:06:27,522
Could you please give us your reasons
for your sudden and unexpected candidacy?

1222
01:06:27,855 --> 01:06:32,275
I figure voting for Salvino or Heller is
just as silly as them running for office.

1223
01:06:32,375 --> 01:06:34,567
Which is just as silly
as me running for office.

1224
01:06:34,667 --> 01:06:37,319
The only thing not silly
is the power of the people's vote.

1225
01:06:37,419 --> 01:06:42,881
And I think the people should use it
to vote for none of the above.

1226
01:06:45,507 --> 01:06:47,283
Mr. Brewster, are we to understand

1227
01:06:47,383 --> 01:06:49,701
that you actually don't want
anyone to vote for you?

1228
01:06:49,801 --> 01:06:53,553
What I'm saying is I think only
an idiot would vote for me.

1229
01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:58,414
Mr. Brewster, have you taken positions
on any of the issues facing the city?

1230
01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:00,582
Sanitation, union corruption,
urban renewal...

1231
01:07:00,682 --> 01:07:02,583
Let's get to the bottom line, right?

1232
01:07:02,683 --> 01:07:04,542
I'm here to buy your votes.

1233
01:07:04,642 --> 01:07:08,211
With only 10 days, Mr. Brewster,
with only 10 days left before the election,

1234
01:07:08,311 --> 01:07:10,796
how do you expect to find
that kind of support for that position?

1235
01:07:10,896 --> 01:07:12,630
I don't expect to get support.

1236
01:07:12,730 --> 01:07:15,607
In fact, I'm asking people
not to send money in to my candidacy.

1237
01:07:15,773 --> 01:07:19,234
I think the people should keep their money.
They're gonna need it after this election.

1238
01:07:49,387 --> 01:07:51,847
Monty Brewster. That's me, right?

1239
01:07:52,305 --> 01:07:57,351
And tonight, I'm here to talk to
you about "None of the above".

1240
01:07:58,018 --> 01:08:01,044
You know how it is around election time
and you decide not to vote

1241
01:08:01,144 --> 01:08:04,230
because the two candidates
are so repulsive.

1242
01:08:05,105 --> 01:08:07,649
Repulsive's not the word.
We're all full of shit.

1243
01:08:08,024 --> 01:08:11,318
I didn't think you were supposed to use
that kind of language on television.

1244
01:08:11,693 --> 01:08:14,195
Maybe he's just trying
to get his point across.

1245
01:08:14,361 --> 01:08:17,364
I never wear a suit and a tie. Never.

1246
01:08:18,031 --> 01:08:21,100
I mean, these are just things
that politicians use

1247
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:24,394
to trick you into thinking
that they're respectable.

1248
01:08:24,494 --> 01:08:26,287
Well... To the politician, huh?

1249
01:08:41,385 --> 01:08:43,536
He bought prime time on every station?

1250
01:08:43,636 --> 01:08:45,454
Worse than that, he's on network.

1251
01:08:45,554 --> 01:08:49,915
He's running spots in all 52 states just
in case any New Yorkers are on vacation.

1252
01:08:50,015 --> 01:08:53,059
Write in "None of the above"
on your ballot.

1253
01:08:53,642 --> 01:08:56,436
Don't vote for any of us. We're assholes.

1254
01:08:56,978 --> 01:08:59,605
We'll only make things worse.

1255
01:09:00,147 --> 01:09:01,815
Let's drink to it.

1256
01:09:39,684 --> 01:09:42,377
I wanna thank you for coming out today

1257
01:09:42,477 --> 01:09:48,140
to see to it that neither my opponents
nor me win the election.

1258
01:09:54,821 --> 01:09:56,614
I wanna ask the question.

1259
01:09:59,617 --> 01:10:00,850
Who's buying the booze?

1260
01:10:00,950 --> 01:10:02,559
You are!

1261
01:10:02,659 --> 01:10:04,018
Who's buying the food?

1262
01:10:04,118 --> 01:10:05,494
You are!

1263
01:10:06,453 --> 01:10:08,688
And who's tryin' to buy your vote?

1264
01:10:08,788 --> 01:10:10,147
You are!

1265
01:10:10,247 --> 01:10:11,773
And who you're gonna vote for?

1266
01:10:11,873 --> 01:10:13,690
None of the above!

1267
01:10:13,790 --> 01:10:14,791
Say it again!

1268
01:10:15,041 --> 01:10:16,442
None of the above!

1269
01:10:16,542 --> 01:10:18,276
Let me hear it one more time!

1270
01:10:18,376 --> 01:10:20,127
None of the above!

1271
01:10:22,129 --> 01:10:23,421
Brewster! Brewster!

1272
01:10:56,745 --> 01:10:58,062
Well, you can call it outrageous.

1273
01:10:58,162 --> 01:10:59,729
You can call it a breath of fresh air.

1274
01:10:59,829 --> 01:11:02,706
But what you can
no longer call it is a joke campaign.

1275
01:11:03,039 --> 01:11:05,816
The eccentric multimillionaire
Montgomery Brewster

1276
01:11:05,916 --> 01:11:09,276
is electrifying crowds
and is starting to show up in the polls.

1277
01:11:09,376 --> 01:11:10,776
All this reporter can say is

1278
01:11:10,876 --> 01:11:13,003
I hate to see
what he could do if he was serious.

1279
01:11:51,207 --> 01:11:52,983
So, what do you wanna talk about?

1280
01:11:53,083 --> 01:11:54,316
What do I wanna talk about?

1281
01:11:54,416 --> 01:11:55,608
Your people called my people.

1282
01:11:55,708 --> 01:11:57,817
Bullshit. Your people made the first move.

1283
01:11:57,917 --> 01:12:00,443
What's the difference?
We both got the same problem.

1284
01:12:00,543 --> 01:12:02,319
- Brewster.
- Yeah, no kiddin'.

1285
01:12:02,419 --> 01:12:04,404
You heard what he said about us
in a speech yesterday.

1286
01:12:04,504 --> 01:12:06,589
Here, I'll quote it for you.

1287
01:12:07,881 --> 01:12:12,093
"Heller and Salvino are both just a couple
of overgrown wharf rats.

1288
01:12:12,218 --> 01:12:16,538
"Why else would anybody spend $10 million
to get a $60,000-a-year job

1289
01:12:16,638 --> 01:12:19,223
"unless he planned
to steal it back with interest?"

1290
01:12:19,556 --> 01:12:22,058
You and I are gonna sue him
for every cent he's got.

1291
01:12:22,391 --> 01:12:25,394
That's very good, Heller. Very good.

1292
01:12:46,538 --> 01:12:49,232
I called 'em a couple
of overgrown wharf rats

1293
01:12:49,332 --> 01:12:52,816
and I had to pay 'em $4 million
for the emotional damage it did.

1294
01:12:52,916 --> 01:12:54,275
You don't have to take
to these guys, Monty.

1295
01:12:54,375 --> 01:12:55,859
What do you think of
your opponents now, Mr. Brewster?

1296
01:12:55,959 --> 01:12:58,110
I think they're slime.
You can quote me on that.

1297
01:12:58,210 --> 01:12:59,319
Don't quote him on that, please.

1298
01:12:59,419 --> 01:13:00,527
He didn't mean anything by that.

1299
01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:02,319
Any prediction on the game this afternoon?

1300
01:13:02,419 --> 01:13:05,653
I'm takin' that game more serious than
I am this election, I can tell you that.

1301
01:13:05,753 --> 01:13:08,130
Can we take anything
you say seriously, Mr. Brewster?

1302
01:13:08,230 --> 01:13:11,398
It's like that old saying, "If bullshit
were money, I'd be a millionaire."

1303
01:13:11,648 --> 01:13:13,591
Well, I'm a millionaire.

1304
01:13:17,069 --> 01:13:19,679
He didn't mean that.
You can't quote him on that.

1305
01:13:19,779 --> 01:13:21,489
Don't you dare quote him on that.

1306
01:13:25,534 --> 01:13:27,894
Oh, God, you must be
so nervous about this game today.

1307
01:13:27,994 --> 01:13:29,120
You put everything into it.

1308
01:13:29,328 --> 01:13:31,104
Not everything, but a lot.

1309
01:13:31,204 --> 01:13:34,565
This is my big day.
I'm pitching against the New York Yankees.

1310
01:13:34,665 --> 01:13:37,709
I can get any team out for three innings.
Any team.

1311
01:13:38,126 --> 01:13:39,902
Good afternoon, sports fans.

1312
01:13:40,002 --> 01:13:43,363
And the New York Yankee
Baseball Network is on the air.

1313
01:13:43,463 --> 01:13:46,156
We've got a special
edition of Yankee baseball,

1314
01:13:46,256 --> 01:13:48,866
a special three-inning exhibition game

1315
01:13:48,966 --> 01:13:51,784
between the New York Yankees
and are you ready for this?

1316
01:13:51,884 --> 01:13:54,177
The Hackensack Bulls.

1317
01:13:54,343 --> 01:13:56,160
I know they're the New York Yankees.

1318
01:13:56,260 --> 01:13:58,536
You know how many years
I sat around listening to you guys

1319
01:13:58,636 --> 01:14:01,221
complaining about you never get your shot?

1320
01:14:01,429 --> 01:14:03,414
Well, today we get our shot.

1321
01:14:03,514 --> 01:14:05,624
There's gonna be sports writers out there.

1322
01:14:05,724 --> 01:14:08,560
Newscasters, TV, radio.

1323
01:14:09,060 --> 01:14:11,854
Johnson, you're 26 years old, right?

1324
01:14:12,271 --> 01:14:14,856
You got a great glove. Perfect swing.

1325
01:14:15,106 --> 01:14:16,632
But if you don't
show your stuff out there today,

1326
01:14:16,732 --> 01:14:18,800
nobody's ever gonna know it, man.

1327
01:14:18,900 --> 01:14:21,760
Hey, you guys!
Let's go out there and kick a little ass!

1328
01:14:24,529 --> 01:14:27,990
And the Hackensack Bulls
take the playing field!

1329
01:14:34,787 --> 01:14:36,580
That was a great speech
you made, Brewster.

1330
01:14:36,955 --> 01:14:40,499
I know you got something to prove,
but please don't try to show these guys up.

1331
01:14:51,426 --> 01:14:52,468
Let's go, Brew!

1332
01:14:52,801 --> 01:14:54,285
Monty looks so tiny out there.

1333
01:14:54,385 --> 01:14:56,202
Those Yankees look so big.
Can he get hurt?

1334
01:14:56,302 --> 01:14:57,286
Nah. This ain't football.

1335
01:14:57,386 --> 01:14:58,912
All they're gonna do
is just take into his fast balls

1336
01:14:59,012 --> 01:15:00,638
and dent some cars out in the parkin' lot.

1337
01:15:01,597 --> 01:15:03,864
I better move my limousine.

1338
01:15:04,599 --> 01:15:07,158
No votes for Brewster!

1339
01:15:12,229 --> 01:15:13,939
None of the above!

1340
01:15:14,481 --> 01:15:15,840
Hear this crowd go crazy.

1341
01:15:15,940 --> 01:15:17,716
That's for Montgomery Brewster.

1342
01:15:17,816 --> 01:15:20,635
That financial-world wizard
who came on the scene not long ago

1343
01:15:20,735 --> 01:15:23,946
and continues to thrill and delight
the fans of this stadium.

1344
01:15:24,237 --> 01:15:27,156
None of the above! None of the above!

1345
01:15:29,408 --> 01:15:30,784
All right! Let's play ball.

1346
01:15:35,497 --> 01:15:36,856
Hackensack Bulls, huh?

1347
01:15:36,956 --> 01:15:37,981
That's the name.

1348
01:15:38,081 --> 01:15:40,232
Robby digs in and we're under way.

1349
01:15:40,332 --> 01:15:44,085
Monty Brewster peers in at his sign
and kicks in the first pitch.

1350
01:15:45,544 --> 01:15:46,819
Change-up?

1351
01:15:46,919 --> 01:15:48,086
No, that was his fastball.

1352
01:15:48,211 --> 01:15:51,504
Breaking ball, I guess you'd have
to call that his change-up, eh, Biff?

1353
01:15:57,676 --> 01:15:59,202
Swing on, it's a hotshot.

1354
01:15:59,302 --> 01:16:00,869
Out!

1355
01:16:04,597 --> 01:16:05,639
You are out.

1356
01:16:07,182 --> 01:16:10,626
Mr. Rough-and-Ready, Ken Dixon
stepping in for the Yanks. Biff?

1357
01:16:10,726 --> 01:16:14,337
Dixon's reputation as a tough
competitor is almost legendary, Vinnie.

1358
01:16:14,437 --> 01:16:16,547
Hey, Ken Dixon, man.

1359
01:16:16,647 --> 01:16:19,048
It's a pleasure to be on the
same field with you, Mr. Dixon.

1360
01:16:19,148 --> 01:16:21,091
I admire your work. You're a great hitter.

1361
01:16:21,191 --> 01:16:22,967
That pitcher of yours
thinks he's cute, don't he?

1362
01:16:23,067 --> 01:16:24,526
He sure does.

1363
01:16:25,068 --> 01:16:27,594
Hey, you had a great
season this year, Mr. Dixon.

1364
01:16:27,694 --> 01:16:29,053
I saw that game in Boston...

1365
01:16:29,153 --> 01:16:30,261
What, back in June, was it?

1366
01:16:30,361 --> 01:16:32,696
- Saw that game?
- Yeah, I saw that game.

1367
01:16:35,906 --> 01:16:38,766
Oh, I tell you. Great game. Two home runs.

1368
01:16:38,866 --> 01:16:40,558
A triple. Six RBIs.

1369
01:16:40,658 --> 01:16:42,767
I can't believe
you didn't make the all-star team.

1370
01:16:42,867 --> 01:16:44,243
I can't believe it either.

1371
01:16:49,498 --> 01:16:52,250
Two! That was a foul ball.

1372
01:16:53,751 --> 01:16:55,961
Come on, Monty. Keep it in there.
Keep it in there.

1373
01:16:59,839 --> 01:17:02,407
Hey, Dixon, I saw your wife
on television, too.

1374
01:17:02,507 --> 01:17:04,408
- Yeah?
- Yeah, she sure is an ugly bitch.

1375
01:17:04,508 --> 01:17:06,575
- Hey...
- Strike three, you're out!

1376
01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:10,136
- You shut up!
- Get outta here!

1377
01:17:10,511 --> 01:17:11,512
I don't care!

1378
01:17:13,180 --> 01:17:14,497
Get outta here.

1379
01:17:16,181 --> 01:17:17,206
Get outta here.

1380
01:17:17,306 --> 01:17:19,182
- You shut up.
- What did I say?

1381
01:17:19,682 --> 01:17:21,291
What happened, man? What did he say?

1382
01:17:21,391 --> 01:17:23,125
- He called my wife an ugly bitch.
- Oh, come on.

1383
01:17:23,225 --> 01:17:25,168
You're a total snack bar!

1384
01:17:25,268 --> 01:17:27,419
- I'm a snack bar? You're an asshole.
- Come back here.

1385
01:17:27,519 --> 01:17:29,128
It's a very heated exchange.

1386
01:17:29,228 --> 01:17:32,439
It looks like this game may have
some real spirit after all, Biff.

1387
01:17:36,693 --> 01:17:38,361
It's all right.
All right, all right, come on.

1388
01:17:41,864 --> 01:17:45,074
One word out of you, fat boy,
and you eat your mask.

1389
01:17:45,258 --> 01:17:47,367
You ain't gonna
talk to me the way you did Dixon.

1390
01:17:47,467 --> 01:17:49,660
Hey, can I help it if a guy
can't take a joke?

1391
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:51,119
Besides, have you ever seen his wife?

1392
01:17:51,219 --> 01:17:52,470
Yeah. Ugly bitch!

1393
01:17:53,888 --> 01:17:56,307
There's a long drive to deep centerfield.

1394
01:17:57,099 --> 01:17:59,392
Back, back, way back.

1395
01:18:07,482 --> 01:18:09,901
But Mike Scharf,
with a brilliant leaping catch...

1396
01:18:12,570 --> 01:18:16,289
Exclusively yours
on the Yankee Baseball Network.

1397
01:18:18,241 --> 01:18:19,283
Uh-huh?

1398
01:18:19,491 --> 01:18:22,160
Warren Cox. I believe you're expecting me.

1399
01:18:22,827 --> 01:18:25,229
Oh, yeah, right. The refund.

1400
01:18:25,329 --> 01:18:29,024
Yes. It's $20,000. That's the receipt.

1401
01:18:29,124 --> 01:18:30,483
Yeah, I'm glad to get rid of it.

1402
01:18:30,583 --> 01:18:33,359
Don't like having that kind of money
around here, if you know what I mean.

1403
01:18:33,459 --> 01:18:35,360
Didn't make the boss too happy though.

1404
01:18:35,460 --> 01:18:36,402
He got all bent out of shape

1405
01:18:36,502 --> 01:18:38,528
when he found out Mr. Brewster
didn't like the furniture he got.

1406
01:18:38,628 --> 01:18:41,797
Oh, yes, it's a pity, but he has no taste.

1407
01:18:45,008 --> 01:18:46,968
Oh, by the way, how's the big game coming?

1408
01:18:47,176 --> 01:18:48,576
Bulls are ahead one-zip.

1409
01:18:48,676 --> 01:18:50,619
Top of the third,
but they're really starting to hit 'em.

1410
01:18:50,719 --> 01:18:51,886
Right.

1411
01:18:53,846 --> 01:18:56,081
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

1412
01:18:57,681 --> 01:19:01,101
Scharf is walking back,
back, and way back.

1413
01:19:03,977 --> 01:19:08,339
Ken Dixon driving one out of here,
a grand-slam home run

1414
01:19:08,439 --> 01:19:11,258
and the Yankees lead it four to one.

1415
01:19:11,358 --> 01:19:14,177
Listen to that scattered applause
here in Hackensack.

1416
01:19:14,277 --> 01:19:16,903
Sounds more like a death knell.

1417
01:19:25,411 --> 01:19:28,271
That is true Yankee
baseball there, my friend.

1418
01:19:28,371 --> 01:19:31,398
And New York Yankee power has burst

1419
01:19:31,498 --> 01:19:33,774
a balloon over Hackensack, New Jersey.

1420
01:19:33,874 --> 01:19:36,860
Wouldn't you know that the Bronx
Bombers would be the bad guys?

1421
01:19:36,960 --> 01:19:38,169
Oh, my!

1422
01:19:44,717 --> 01:19:46,635
Gotta take you out, kid.

1423
01:19:50,805 --> 01:19:52,473
He just got lucky, that's all, Monty.

1424
01:19:55,225 --> 01:19:57,877
Hey, you did good, Brewster. Real good.

1425
01:19:57,977 --> 01:19:59,920
I'm proud of you and all the guys.

1426
01:20:00,020 --> 01:20:02,397
Hey, what the hell,
this is the New York Yankees!

1427
01:20:24,126 --> 01:20:25,919
Play ball!

1428
01:20:46,356 --> 01:20:47,857
That was a valiant effort.

1429
01:20:48,482 --> 01:20:50,442
Your Uncle Rupert
would've been proud of you.

1430
01:20:52,193 --> 01:20:54,111
I thought my Uncle Rupert
didn't like losers.

1431
01:20:54,736 --> 01:20:57,405
Mr. Brewster,
I don't think you're a loser.

1432
01:20:58,155 --> 01:21:00,515
If it's the money
you're worried about, don't.

1433
01:21:00,615 --> 01:21:02,641
I only have $38,000 left.

1434
01:21:02,741 --> 01:21:04,576
I could spend that tonight in my sleep.

1435
01:21:05,118 --> 01:21:08,145
Yes, but unfortunately
it looks like you could win this election.

1436
01:21:08,245 --> 01:21:11,356
The job carries a $60,000 annual salary

1437
01:21:11,456 --> 01:21:15,918
which I regret to say would be considered
an asset by the terms of the will.

1438
01:21:18,295 --> 01:21:19,654
Okay, here are the final totals.

1439
01:21:19,754 --> 01:21:22,698
For the Yankees to win it,
four runs on four hits...

1440
01:21:22,798 --> 01:21:25,033
Wait a minute.
We might have somethin' goin' on here.

1441
01:21:25,133 --> 01:21:29,620
It looks like Brewster's
gonna address this crowd of folks.

1442
01:21:29,720 --> 01:21:32,639
Kill the commercial, fellas.
We're gonna stay right here.

1443
01:21:34,682 --> 01:21:38,234
I'd like to take my hat off
to the Yankees.

1444
01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:47,192
Anybody can inherit millions of dollars
and buy hisself an election.

1445
01:21:49,027 --> 01:21:52,989
But it takes a real athlete
to be a professional baseball player.

1446
01:21:53,531 --> 01:21:56,016
And that's what all these
gentlemen here are today.

1447
01:21:56,116 --> 01:21:57,992
Real professionals.

1448
01:22:05,415 --> 01:22:08,359
See, the election was supposed
to be a joke.

1449
01:22:08,459 --> 01:22:10,752
I didn't expect anybody to vote for me.

1450
01:22:11,169 --> 01:22:12,862
I didn't think anybody
would take me serious.

1451
01:22:12,962 --> 01:22:16,048
I thought "None of the above"
was a pretty good idea.

1452
01:22:16,590 --> 01:22:19,316
I don't wanna be mayor. I never did.

1453
01:22:23,386 --> 01:22:24,786
How about that, Biff?

1454
01:22:24,886 --> 01:22:27,430
Monty Brewster
is withdrawing from the election.

1455
01:22:29,223 --> 01:22:31,767
It's not all downhill.
I mean, I still got...

1456
01:22:33,185 --> 01:22:34,728
$38,000 left.

1457
01:22:35,854 --> 01:22:39,423
I'm gonna throw a party tonight
back at the hotel in New York

1458
01:22:39,523 --> 01:22:41,524
and you're all invited.

1459
01:23:23,232 --> 01:23:24,274
Hi.

1460
01:23:27,235 --> 01:23:28,486
I thought I'd find you here.

1461
01:23:29,403 --> 01:23:34,240
Listen, since Warren's not around, I thought
maybe I could escort you to the party.

1462
01:23:35,157 --> 01:23:37,767
Monty, I'm real sorry
about you retiring from baseball.

1463
01:23:37,867 --> 01:23:39,184
I know how much it meant to you.

1464
01:23:39,284 --> 01:23:42,603
That's all right. I mean, it happens
to everyone sooner or later.

1465
01:23:42,703 --> 01:23:44,079
It's the nature of the game.

1466
01:23:44,662 --> 01:23:45,746
Yeah.

1467
01:23:47,372 --> 01:23:50,440
Well, I don't think there's anything
left here for me to add up,

1468
01:23:50,540 --> 01:23:51,958
so I guess this is goodbye.

1469
01:23:52,166 --> 01:23:54,334
Goodbye? Don't you wanna go to the party?

1470
01:23:54,751 --> 01:23:57,545
Oh, no. I couldn't stand another one.

1471
01:23:57,920 --> 01:24:01,114
If you wanna know the truth, I don't see
what you could possibly be celebrating

1472
01:24:01,214 --> 01:24:04,283
unless you think it's okay
to squander $30 million.

1473
01:24:04,383 --> 01:24:07,636
I don't. I just think maybe it was
a phase I was going through.

1474
01:24:09,512 --> 01:24:10,954
Listen, tomorrow things will be different.

1475
01:24:11,054 --> 01:24:12,371
I won't be like this anymore.

1476
01:24:12,471 --> 01:24:16,057
Come tomorrow, you are dead broke.
It's all over.

1477
01:24:16,682 --> 01:24:20,501
You don't even have a job playing
baseball anymore, and what do you do?

1478
01:24:20,601 --> 01:24:23,420
You throw a party with your last 38,000!

1479
01:24:23,520 --> 01:24:25,337
Listen to me, I pissed off so much money,

1480
01:24:25,437 --> 01:24:28,297
I figured, "What difference
does $38,000 make?"

1481
01:24:28,397 --> 01:24:29,856
Oh, how dare you?

1482
01:24:30,398 --> 01:24:33,926
That's more money than a lot of
hardworking people earn in a year.

1483
01:24:34,026 --> 01:24:36,177
You better get your values together
'cause you're gonna need 'em.

1484
01:24:36,277 --> 01:24:39,362
Why don't wait until tomorrow,
and then you'll know what this is all about.

1485
01:24:39,462 --> 01:24:40,571
Just forget it, okay?

1486
01:24:40,671 --> 01:24:43,714
And I hope you have fun at that party,
'cause that's all you got left.

1487
01:24:50,721 --> 01:24:52,055
I love you.

1488
01:25:17,621 --> 01:25:21,733
Mr. Donaldo, we're accepting
contributions for Mr. Brewster

1489
01:25:21,833 --> 01:25:23,651
since he's currently insolvent.

1490
01:25:23,751 --> 01:25:25,985
Yeah, Donaldo, Put some money in here now.

1491
01:25:26,085 --> 01:25:27,694
I didn't bring my wallet, guys.

1492
01:25:27,794 --> 01:25:29,027
I thought this was a free party.

1493
01:25:29,127 --> 01:25:30,444
I see. Too bad.

1494
01:25:30,544 --> 01:25:31,986
What do you do with your money,
put it in tin cans?

1495
01:25:32,086 --> 01:25:35,923
You got it, big boy.
This gravy train ain't gonna run forever.

1496
01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:38,758
Oh, what's this?

1497
01:25:39,967 --> 01:25:44,037
Well, thank you very much.
This is generous of you. Very generous.

1498
01:25:44,137 --> 01:25:46,681
I'm gonna put you
on my Christmas card list.

1499
01:25:49,266 --> 01:25:51,459
How about a glass
of champagne, Mr. Brewster?

1500
01:25:51,559 --> 01:25:52,876
How about a bottle of champagne?

1501
01:25:52,976 --> 01:25:53,960
As you wish.

1502
01:25:54,060 --> 01:25:55,002
I'm gonna get drunk.

1503
01:25:55,102 --> 01:25:56,436
Monty!

1504
01:25:56,978 --> 01:25:59,505
Monty, good news, pal. Good news.

1505
01:25:59,605 --> 01:26:01,381
Mr. Brewster, I want you to know

1506
01:26:01,481 --> 01:26:04,591
I think you're a hell of a nice man,
and we took up a collection for you.

1507
01:26:04,691 --> 01:26:08,009
I mean, you've paid us all so much money,
we feel bad now that you're broke,

1508
01:26:08,109 --> 01:26:10,236
so would you take this money, please?

1509
01:26:11,111 --> 01:26:13,928
I really appreciate this, you know,
but you know me.

1510
01:26:14,028 --> 01:26:16,447
I'll just spend it. I can't take it.

1511
01:26:16,822 --> 01:26:18,347
Brother, would you take the money, please?

1512
01:26:18,447 --> 01:26:19,806
- I can't.
- Take the money.

1513
01:26:19,906 --> 01:26:20,948
No.

1514
01:26:22,366 --> 01:26:24,017
I know. You don't want charity.

1515
01:26:24,117 --> 01:26:26,310
Forget the charity. Forget that.

1516
01:26:26,410 --> 01:26:28,227
I was gonna save this for a rainy day.

1517
01:26:28,327 --> 01:26:30,203
I'll tell ya now,
I'll tell ya now, it's raining.

1518
01:26:30,453 --> 01:26:32,855
Look, with the exception
of a few nice suits that I bought,

1519
01:26:32,955 --> 01:26:34,539
I saved almost every penny you gave me.

1520
01:26:34,705 --> 01:26:36,690
Now, I got an idea.
And here's what we're gonna do.

1521
01:26:36,790 --> 01:26:38,940
We're gonna buy a Corvette,
we're gonna drive across country,

1522
01:26:39,040 --> 01:26:40,774
go to say, the Rocky Mountains.

1523
01:26:40,874 --> 01:26:43,817
We'll buy a cabin there, we'll go fishing
every day, we'll fly in women every other day.

1524
01:26:43,917 --> 01:26:47,653
Spike, you're beautiful, man.
You... You are.

1525
01:26:47,753 --> 01:26:49,671
But you don't know. See, tomorrow...

1526
01:26:50,171 --> 01:26:51,338
Yeah?

1527
01:26:51,921 --> 01:26:53,297
Almost let the cat out of the bag.

1528
01:26:53,630 --> 01:26:55,840
I almost let the cat
out of the bag, Uncle Rupert.

1529
01:26:56,173 --> 01:26:57,591
What are you talkin' about?

1530
01:26:58,258 --> 01:27:02,368
See, I can't tell my closest friend,
'cause my Uncle Rupert's a son of a bitch.

1531
01:27:02,468 --> 01:27:04,386
Why? What are you saying?

1532
01:27:04,803 --> 01:27:05,828
Uh...

1533
01:27:05,928 --> 01:27:07,596
Hey, it's supposed to be a party.

1534
01:27:08,221 --> 01:27:09,204
It's a party!

1535
01:27:09,304 --> 01:27:11,723
How come everybody
ain't dancing and having a good time?

1536
01:27:12,306 --> 01:27:13,640
I mean, what? Somebody die?

1537
01:27:14,223 --> 01:27:15,974
I gotta get full value for my money.

1538
01:27:16,474 --> 01:27:19,685
Hey, you heard him.
He said he doesn't want it.

1539
01:27:20,310 --> 01:27:21,602
Did you really spend all that money?

1540
01:27:30,317 --> 01:27:31,884
Nice friend I turned out to be.

1541
01:27:31,984 --> 01:27:33,510
You give me all that money for what?

1542
01:27:33,610 --> 01:27:34,885
So I could play catch with you?

1543
01:27:34,985 --> 01:27:37,153
Spike, you don't understand.

1544
01:27:37,987 --> 01:27:39,738
Nobody understands.

1545
01:27:40,697 --> 01:27:42,973
I don't even understand anymore.

1546
01:27:43,073 --> 01:27:44,574
And I am sick of money.

1547
01:27:45,199 --> 01:27:48,535
I'm gonna take this
and I'm gonna get tore up.

1548
01:28:01,798 --> 01:28:05,259
Give me a few bottles
of what he's drinking, all right?

1549
01:28:55,180 --> 01:28:57,056
It's after 3:00, Mr. Brewster.

1550
01:28:59,683 --> 01:29:00,725
Checkout time?

1551
01:29:02,601 --> 01:29:04,436
I'm afraid you'll have to leave now.

1552
01:29:05,937 --> 01:29:08,047
Like I always said, Mr. Carter.

1553
01:29:08,147 --> 01:29:09,898
You're a real nice man.

1554
01:29:12,859 --> 01:29:16,737
I believe everything you're wearing
belongs to us, Mr. Brewster.

1555
01:29:18,613 --> 01:29:19,822
I almost forgot.

1556
01:29:24,910 --> 01:29:28,271
Just the clothes on my back.
That's what they said.

1557
01:29:28,371 --> 01:29:32,458
Piss off $30 million.
Makes a lot of sense, Uncle Rupert.

1558
01:29:32,958 --> 01:29:34,376
You asshole.

1559
01:29:37,420 --> 01:29:39,922
I'm gonna recommend
your shop to all my friends.

1560
01:29:40,297 --> 01:29:41,840
You lease some great clothes.

1561
01:29:42,715 --> 01:29:44,091
All of 'em.

1562
01:29:45,050 --> 01:29:46,051
Keep this, too.

1563
01:30:48,154 --> 01:30:49,196
Monty?

1564
01:30:49,988 --> 01:30:52,824
Well, hello. I hardly recognized you.

1565
01:30:54,116 --> 01:30:56,660
It's ready, sir. What do you think?

1566
01:30:57,994 --> 01:30:59,537
Do you like it?

1567
01:31:00,412 --> 01:31:03,164
Marilyn, this is the room I could die in.

1568
01:31:03,556 --> 01:31:04,998
Oh, thank God.

1569
01:31:05,848 --> 01:31:07,808
I'm so glad.

1570
01:31:09,852 --> 01:31:11,228
Okay, boys.

1571
01:31:12,437 --> 01:31:14,105
Take it all back.

1572
01:31:26,784 --> 01:31:29,119
I wish you had the dough
to keep it, Monty.

1573
01:31:45,260 --> 01:31:46,661
Taxicab, Mr. Brewster?

1574
01:31:46,761 --> 01:31:50,096
George, I can't afford it now.
I'm outta money.

1575
01:31:51,722 --> 01:31:54,248
You'll never guess
who I voted for this morning.

1576
01:31:54,348 --> 01:31:56,141
None of the above.

1577
01:31:56,975 --> 01:31:58,393
That's good.

1578
01:32:00,144 --> 01:32:01,812
That's real good.

1579
01:32:16,993 --> 01:32:19,186
This is Chuck Fleming in Times Square.

1580
01:32:19,286 --> 01:32:20,996
Well, that newsflash tells it all.

1581
01:32:21,246 --> 01:32:24,605
To add to the confusion of today's events,
former candidate Montgomery Brewster

1582
01:32:24,705 --> 01:32:28,691
who withdrew from the campaign only
yesterday, and apparently now dead broke,

1583
01:32:28,791 --> 01:32:30,984
checked out of
his luxury hotel a few hours ago

1584
01:32:31,084 --> 01:32:34,335
wearing the same baseball jersey
and cap he had on 30 days ago.

1585
01:32:34,585 --> 01:32:36,712
Where is he now? Nobody seems to know.

1586
01:32:37,170 --> 01:32:39,780
We followed his rollercoaster
ride of success and failure

1587
01:32:39,880 --> 01:32:43,074
for the last 30 days,
and now it would seem to be over.

1588
01:32:43,174 --> 01:32:46,785
But those of you following
the election results know that that's not so.

1589
01:32:46,885 --> 01:32:48,411
Well, if you're out there, Monty,

1590
01:32:48,511 --> 01:32:51,455
turn on a radio or a TV set
or pick up a newspaper.

1591
01:32:51,555 --> 01:32:55,016
I think you might be proud
of what's happened in this city today.

1592
01:32:55,141 --> 01:32:56,892
Chuck Fleming, Action News.

1593
01:33:14,533 --> 01:33:17,536
Oh, Monty. Just the man I wanted to see.

1594
01:33:18,620 --> 01:33:20,204
I've got wonderful news for you, Monty.

1595
01:33:20,329 --> 01:33:22,230
- I'm not in the mood
- No, wonderful, wonderful news.

1596
01:33:22,330 --> 01:33:23,313
- Do you remember...
- No, I'm not in the mood.

1597
01:33:23,413 --> 01:33:26,981
Do you remember the $20,000 that you
gave me as a deposit on the furniture?

1598
01:33:27,081 --> 01:33:30,692
Well, here it is.
You're not broke after all.

1599
01:33:30,792 --> 01:33:32,585
Isn't that fortunate?

1600
01:33:33,752 --> 01:33:34,736
Three minutes.

1601
01:33:34,836 --> 01:33:39,572
I'm sorry to say this, Roundfield,
but our records indicate Brewster still has

1602
01:33:39,672 --> 01:33:42,115
a substantial amount of money.

1603
01:33:42,215 --> 01:33:43,633
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

1604
01:33:50,221 --> 01:33:52,348
I can't believe it! I quit!

1605
01:34:08,530 --> 01:34:12,033
I guess I didn't do so good.
I still got $20,000 left.

1606
01:34:13,117 --> 01:34:16,578
Look, I know I lost and everything,

1607
01:34:17,078 --> 01:34:19,521
so I'll sign what you want me to sign
and I'll get out of here.

1608
01:34:19,621 --> 01:34:21,313
Give him the quitclaim papers.

1609
01:34:21,413 --> 01:34:22,580
Use my pen.

1610
01:34:24,331 --> 01:34:27,317
Mr. Brewster,
you still have two full minutes.

1611
01:34:27,417 --> 01:34:28,609
Two full minutes for what?

1612
01:34:28,709 --> 01:34:30,669
I blew it. I'm burned out.

1613
01:34:37,424 --> 01:34:39,049
Warren, what are you doing?

1614
01:34:39,149 --> 01:34:41,134
He's about to sign it all away.

1615
01:34:41,259 --> 01:34:42,451
What are you doing here?

1616
01:34:42,551 --> 01:34:44,244
I'm working late.
Closing out Brewster's account.

1617
01:34:44,344 --> 01:34:45,928
Sign what away?

1618
01:34:47,179 --> 01:34:48,830
I guess I can let you in on it now.

1619
01:34:48,930 --> 01:34:50,831
In a few seconds
I'm gonna be a full partner,

1620
01:34:50,931 --> 01:34:52,874
just as soon as he signs that paper.

1621
01:34:52,974 --> 01:34:55,793
See, the reason that he blew
the $30 million

1622
01:34:55,893 --> 01:34:58,962
was so he could get
his real inheritance of $300 million.

1623
01:34:59,062 --> 01:35:00,855
You mean, he had to spend all that money?

1624
01:35:01,021 --> 01:35:02,213
Why didn't he tell me?

1625
01:35:02,313 --> 01:35:03,630
It was a condition
of his great-uncle's will.

1626
01:35:03,730 --> 01:35:05,798
He had to keep it a secret.

1627
01:35:05,898 --> 01:35:09,341
Well, if it's such a big secret,
how come you know all about it?

1628
01:35:09,441 --> 01:35:11,634
I'm afraid that too is a secret.

1629
01:35:11,734 --> 01:35:14,111
Uh-uh. He did spend that money.
I have all the receipts.

1630
01:35:14,611 --> 01:35:16,637
Maybe you're not as thorough
as you think you are.

1631
01:35:16,737 --> 01:35:18,805
Remember the Dawson and Clark account?

1632
01:35:18,905 --> 01:35:20,615
Fine custom furniture and draperies?

1633
01:35:22,533 --> 01:35:24,201
No! Give me that!

1634
01:35:24,618 --> 01:35:26,227
Monty, stop! Don't sign anything!

1635
01:35:26,327 --> 01:35:28,186
Miss Drake! This is a private meeting.

1636
01:35:28,286 --> 01:35:29,812
Leave or you'll be fired.

1637
01:35:29,912 --> 01:35:30,854
Sign right here, son.

1638
01:35:30,954 --> 01:35:32,855
Warren cheated him.
And these two put him up to it.

1639
01:35:32,955 --> 01:35:35,398
He purposely withheld the $20,000 deposit

1640
01:35:35,498 --> 01:35:37,023
so that Monty would think
he'd already spent it.

1641
01:35:37,123 --> 01:35:38,816
I forgot to give her
the receipt, that's all.

1642
01:35:38,916 --> 01:35:40,191
It was a perfectly honest mistake.

1643
01:35:40,291 --> 01:35:43,043
Gentlemen,
is there any truth to this accusation?

1644
01:35:43,501 --> 01:35:46,111
Totally preposterous.
We're completely innocent.

1645
01:35:46,211 --> 01:35:47,629
You are fired, Miss Drake.

1646
01:35:47,795 --> 01:35:48,796
Ooh.

1647
01:35:51,632 --> 01:35:53,992
My lucky day, huh, Warren?

1648
01:35:54,092 --> 01:35:55,968
You're my pal, right?

1649
01:35:56,385 --> 01:35:58,953
You're a liar, Warren. You tricked me!
Set me up!

1650
01:35:59,053 --> 01:36:00,996
No, no, not at all.
That was just a coincidence.

1651
01:36:01,096 --> 01:36:03,764
Hey, you're a terrible liar, Warren,
and an awful decorator.

1652
01:36:04,181 --> 01:36:06,082
Well, it's better than
being a couple of rabbits.

1653
01:36:06,182 --> 01:36:07,541
What are you insinuating?

1654
01:36:07,641 --> 01:36:08,975
You're a big girl. You figure it out.

1655
01:36:09,850 --> 01:36:12,544
Hold it, hold it, hold it, sister.
Take it easy.

1656
01:36:12,644 --> 01:36:14,712
You're a lady.
I want you to remain a lady.

1657
01:36:14,812 --> 01:36:16,588
Oh, that's excellent advice, Mr. Brewster,

1658
01:36:16,688 --> 01:36:18,439
but a little late, don't you think?

1659
01:36:19,731 --> 01:36:20,732
Oh!

1660
01:36:23,484 --> 01:36:25,694
I'm glad you did that,
Brewster, because...

1661
01:36:25,794 --> 01:36:27,695
Because I'm gonna sue you
for so much money

1662
01:36:27,795 --> 01:36:29,780
that you're gonna be
in debt to me for the rest of your life.

1663
01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:32,799
How would you like to settle out of court
right now for $20,000 in cash?

1664
01:36:33,090 --> 01:36:35,867
Oh, you think
I came down with the last drop of rain?

1665
01:36:35,967 --> 01:36:38,535
I'm not falling for that trick. Uh-uh.
No settlements.

1666
01:36:38,635 --> 01:36:40,077
I'm gonna take you to court, Brewster.

1667
01:36:40,177 --> 01:36:41,702
What are you gonna do about that?

1668
01:36:42,927 --> 01:36:46,288
When that clock strikes 12:00,
you are dead broke for life.

1669
01:36:46,388 --> 01:36:48,932
You're a loser, Brewster. A real loser.

1670
01:36:50,016 --> 01:36:51,166
I'm gonna need an attorney, Miss Drake.

1671
01:36:51,266 --> 01:36:53,042
Will $20,000 be enough of a retainer?

1672
01:36:53,142 --> 01:36:55,043
But I'm just a paralegal.
I don't have a degree.

1673
01:36:55,143 --> 01:36:57,710
You can get a degree with $20,000.
It's just an advance.

1674
01:36:57,810 --> 01:36:58,877
You need a receipt!

1675
01:37:00,895 --> 01:37:02,938
I'll give you a receipt.

1676
01:37:04,272 --> 01:37:06,732
Please! Hurry, please.

1677
01:37:18,659 --> 01:37:21,728
As the executor of your great-uncle's will,
I hereby declare

1678
01:37:21,828 --> 01:37:26,524
that the full inheritance
of $300 million is yours.

1679
01:37:26,624 --> 01:37:29,225
- Wow!
- Congratulations.

1680
01:37:30,000 --> 01:37:32,819
Gentlemen, I sense conspiracy
to defraud here.

1681
01:37:32,919 --> 01:37:35,362
I'm afraid that I'm gonna have
to order a full investigation,

1682
01:37:35,462 --> 01:37:37,363
with your consent, Mr. Brewster.

1683
01:37:37,463 --> 01:37:40,299
Well... Send 'em to the showers.

1684
01:37:40,716 --> 01:37:42,967
It'll take about 20 years to dry off
where you're goin'.

1685
01:37:43,067 --> 01:37:46,720
Better take a big towel.
Mr. Roundfield, you're a real nice man.

1686
01:37:47,137 --> 01:37:49,455
Thank you very much.
You're a real nice man.

1687
01:37:49,555 --> 01:37:53,308
Uh, Warren, better learn the blues.
You know...

1688
01:37:53,891 --> 01:37:56,626
Hey, baby, I'm sorry I did it

1689
01:37:56,726 --> 01:37:58,669
I didn't mean to do it

1690
01:37:58,769 --> 01:38:00,328
We lost the money...

1691
01:38:05,816 --> 01:38:08,652
I've been looking everywhere

1692
01:38:09,486 --> 01:38:12,363
To find someone who's right

1693
01:38:12,988 --> 01:38:16,032
Sugar man, just to talk to me

1694
01:38:16,782 --> 01:38:19,826
Why don't you take me home tonight

1695
01:38:20,409 --> 01:38:23,412
You were out there all this time

1696
01:38:24,079 --> 01:38:27,356
All the time could have been this time

1697
01:38:27,456 --> 01:38:30,900
How could I ever have been so blind

1698
01:38:31,000 --> 01:38:34,336
I got to you in the nick of time

1699
01:38:36,671 --> 01:38:42,677
Situations call for drastic measures

1700
01:38:43,928 --> 01:38:47,039
Looked like I was going for good

1701
01:38:47,139 --> 01:38:50,708
Till I can start up a neighborhood

1702
01:38:50,808 --> 01:38:56,355
I must admit it took my very best line

1703
01:38:58,398 --> 01:39:01,759
Got to you in the nick of time

1704
01:39:01,859 --> 01:39:04,761
Got to you in the nick of time

1705
01:39:04,861 --> 01:39:08,155
I got to you in the nick of time

1706
01:39:09,197 --> 01:39:11,306
Got to you in the

1707
01:39:11,406 --> 01:39:14,183
Oh, you saved me

1708
01:39:14,283 --> 01:39:17,452
Yeah, you saved me

1709
01:39:17,869 --> 01:39:21,539
In a bad situation

1710
01:39:22,122 --> 01:39:24,374
You came along

1711
01:39:26,417 --> 01:39:27,859
Saved me

1712
01:39:27,959 --> 01:39:29,610
Somebody saved me

1713
01:39:29,710 --> 01:39:30,735
You saved me

1714
01:39:30,835 --> 01:39:32,319
Somebody saved me

1715
01:39:32,419 --> 01:39:35,296
I got to you

1716
01:39:47,808 --> 01:39:51,044
Got to you in the nick of time

1717
01:39:51,144 --> 01:39:53,062
I did

1718
01:40:01,570 --> 01:40:03,655
Yeah, got to you

1719
01:40:05,406 --> 01:40:08,909
Yeah, got to you in the nick of time

1720
01:40:09,868 --> 01:40:12,620
Got to you in the nick of time

1721
01:40:13,454 --> 01:40:16,248
Got to you in the nick of time

1722
01:40:34,182 --> 01:40:38,728
Got to you in the nick of time

1723
01:40:48,571 --> 01:40:50,388
Somebody saved me

1724
01:40:50,488 --> 01:40:52,097
In the nick of time

1725
01:40:52,197 --> 01:40:53,806
Somebody saved me

1726
01:40:53,906 --> 01:40:55,432
In the nick of time

1727
01:40:55,532 --> 01:40:57,141
Somebody saved me

1728
01:40:57,241 --> 01:40:58,742
In the nick of time

1729
01:40:59,659 --> 01:41:02,495
Got to you in the nick of time