1
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,087
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:09,651
Come on. Let's go.
3
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,608
Wait a minute! You
can't just return them.
4
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,287
They said I wasn't
a good fit.
5
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,922
There'll be another
family, Michelle.
6
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,571
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
7
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,002
Oh, come on!
Wait a minute!
8
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,608
What's the matter
with me?
9
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,444
Not a thing, Michelle.
10
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,681
God's children
are all perfect.
11
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,164
In their own way.
12
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,482
(ROCK BALLAD PLAYING)
13
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,089
Fuck you!
14
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,768
Never lose hope, Michelle.
15
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,561
There's a family out
there for everyone.
16
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,847
Come on, Agnes. Families
are for suckers.
17
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,806
Don't worry about me.
I don't need anybody.
18
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,723
I'm going straight
to the top.
19
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,648
Michelle. Michelle?
20
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,366
AUDIENCE CHANTING: Michelle! Michelle!
Michelle! SISTER ALUMINATA: Michelle?
21
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,486
MALE ANNOUNCER: She's the CEO
of three Fortune 500 companies
22
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:27,088
and the best-selling financial author
of Money Talks, Bullshit Walks.
23
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,243
The one, the only,
Michelle Darnell!
24
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:31,481
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
25
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,689
Who wants to make
some money?
26
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,651
(MAN SHOUTING)
27
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,764
I can't hear you, Chicago!
28
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:46,966
Get those hands up!
29
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,482
Come on! There we go!
30
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,528
(RAPPING) MD going in on the verse
'Cause I never been defeated
31
00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,647
And I won't stop now
32
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:00,801
Keep your hands up,
put 'em in the sky
33
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,803
For the homies didn't make it
and my folks locked down
34
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,609
I never went nowhere
35
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,684
They're saying 'Chelle's back
Blame it on the conjure
36
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,330
They call it M.D.-ac
37
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,050
Can't never count me out
38
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,451
Y'all better count me in
39
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,649
Got twenty bank accounts
Accountants count me in
40
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,245
Make millions every year
41
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,970
The Chi's champion
42
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,008
'Cause all I do is...
43
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,049
MALE ANNOUNCER:
Give it up for T-Pain!
44
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,646
All I do is win, win, win no
matter what Got money on my mind
45
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,131
I can never get enough
46
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,204
And every time I
step up in the building
47
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,282
Everybody hands go up
48
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,846
And they stay there
49
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,729
And they say yeah
50
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,040
And they stay there
51
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,361
Up down, up down, up down
52
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,410
'Cause all I do
is win, win, win
53
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,405
And if you goin' in put your hands
in the air Make them stay there
54
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,205
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
55
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,488
MICHELLE: Thank you, Chicago!
56
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,609
Thank you. All right.
57
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:04,767
WOMAN: I love you!
58
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,524
Thank you. I love you, too.
59
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,244
My name is Michelle Darnell
60
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,369
and I am the 47th wealthiest
woman in America.
61
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,091
How wealthy am I?
62
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,607
I had Destiny's Child reunite
63
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,682
only to have them come over
to my personal living room
64
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,842
so I could watch
them break apart again.
65
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,001
Huh?
66
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,522
How did I get to my success level?
What's my secret?
67
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,763
I worked myself silly.
68
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,369
Okay, number one.
69
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,647
You work your ass off
to get what you want.
70
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:42,248
Number two. You do not let
other people drag you down.
71
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,731
'Cause they will.
72
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,163
They are an anchor in your
life that you do not want.
73
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,369
Cut 'em loose and sail off.
74
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,244
If you work this program...
75
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,403
You. Will. Get. Rich.
76
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,251
And I'm not talking
about chump change.
77
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,245
And I'm not talking about some loose
dollar bills at the bottom of your purse.
78
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,164
I'm talking about
real fucking money!
79
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,481
Life-changing money!
80
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,964
AUDIENCE CHANTING: Real fucking money!
Real fucking money!
81
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,405
That's how you do it.
82
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,523
Now let's go make some money!
83
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,364
Thank you, Tito.
What a night!
84
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,487
That's right, MD.
85
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,601
(LAUGHING)
86
00:05:58,680 --> 00:05:59,727
Yeah.
87
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,407
I don't know if it's gonna fit
if you buy it online.
88
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,171
Oh, you know the rules, boys.
Go, go, go, go!
89
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:09,365
If I have to wait for an elevator, one
of you is carrying me up the stairs
90
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,407
on their back.
91
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,482
Good evening, Ms. Darnell...
No,no,no.
92
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,681
Oh...
93
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,963
Oh, and I was looking
forward to a piggy-back ride.
94
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,041
Ah.
95
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,040
Come on, Tito.
96
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,406
Good evening.
Have a good evening.
97
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,481
Claire.
98
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,369
Have a good evening, Miss Darnell.
Yeah.
99
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,283
Shut the doors, Paul.
It's...
100
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,482
It's shutting. It's automatic. It's coming.
Oh, it's coming.
101
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,369
Right. There it goes. Good night.
Yeah, there it goes.
102
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,641
Jesus Christ.
103
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,209
Oh, my God. Um...
104
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,328
You didn't press it.
Can I fuck 'em up?
105
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,402
It's dealers choice.
It's up to you, really.
106
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,727
I'd run, boys.
I'm gonna fuck 'em up.
107
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:44,841
Oh, Jesus!
Jesus Christ.
108
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,644
I'm amazed that the United
Center is even still standing
109
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,250
because I crushed it tonight.
110
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,731
You crushed it like velvet.
111
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,690
Like velvet! Send T-Pain
some "thank you" flowers.
112
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:55,761
Okay?
Okay,
113
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,002
Look into getting more
fire power to that bird.
114
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,730
Absolutely.
More power.
115
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,007
No. The fire marshal
almost shut us down
116
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,724
based on the pyrotechnics
we used tonight.
117
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:04,847
I don't think
that's an option.
118
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,922
Let's hire a new
fire marshal.
119
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,321
CLAIRE: I don't think you
can hire a fire marshal.
120
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,243
I think it's a
city-appointed position,
121
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,367
but I'll IOOK
into it.
122
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,326
TITO: All she does
is win, Claire. Toot-toot!
123
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,165
CLAIRE: I got this, Tito. Okay?
You can sit this one out.
124
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,327
MICHELLE: Claire?
125
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,129
Oh, teeth whitening.
Sorry. Sorry, yes.
126
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,565
My God.
Sorry.
127
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,926
Hmm. I have to remind you.
That seems...
128
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,125
That seems like
a little the opposite, right?
129
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,201
Yeah.
130
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,843
Okay. Yeah, I think
if you keep your...
131
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,651
You need to keep your tongue inside
your mouth for this to work.
132
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,486
Last week you very specifically
said, "Keep tongue out."
133
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,164
No.
You did say that, Claire.
134
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,288
I said, "Get your tongue
out of the picture."
135
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,811
She's got to
breathe, Claire.
136
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,644
Somebody must
be hungry.
137
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,564
Somebody gets very crabby
when she's hungry.
138
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,405
You're a little
hangry, Claire.
139
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:54,891
I'm not hangry, Tito.
140
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,321
Hungry and angry.
You hangry, Claire.
141
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,925
Sixty seconds
of no talking.
142
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,405
'Cause this has to
set for 60 seconds.
143
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,851
I've been waiting.
I mean, I'm in here.
144
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,485
You're the only one
that's talking, Claire.
145
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,881
You're the only one talking.
It's hilarious.
146
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:11,046
It's like that classic comedy
gag, "He's on my baseball."
147
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,851
Who's on my baseball?
148
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,129
Uh, who's on my baseball?
(CHUCKLING) (MICHELLE CHUCKLING)
149
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,443
Oh, no it's... Who's
on my baseball?
150
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,167
I think it's, "Who's on first. What's
on second? I Don't Know is on third."
151
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,241
Right?
152
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,606
I don't think that's...
Uh, no.
153
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,561
I think you're on
my baseball.
154
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,369
TITO: Who's on my baseball?
First base.
155
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,364
(MICHELLE AND TITO LAUGHING)
156
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,042
(SINGING) What's on
my baseball?
157
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,491
Basebafl
158
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,881
Great. So, since I
have you for a second,
159
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,521
you told me to remind you
exactly a year ago today
160
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,241
that it's been three years
since my last pay increase.
161
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,845
I don't think that's true.
162
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,570
That doesn't ring...
163
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,290
Does that seem
accurate to you?
164
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,404
That sounds false.
165
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,769
But you crushed
it tonight!
166
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,491
CLAIRE: It's not false, Tito.
It's entirely accurate.
167
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,841
And I wrote
down what you said.
168
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,730
Oh, Claire, I don't know why
you always have to quote.
169
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,121
"Claire, exactly
one year from today
170
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,646
"I'm going to give
you a raise so big
171
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,690
"you'll cream yourjeans
and shat your chaps."
172
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,606
Claire. That is
wildly inappropriate.
173
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,604
MICHELLE: Wildly.
TITO: Lowbrow, Claire.
174
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,160
CLAIRE: I run your entire
organization, Michelle.
175
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,401
I do a greatjob.
176
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,767
I made myself available
for you 24 hours a day
177
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,366
while being a single mom,
I might add.
178
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,920
I deserve a raise
and a title change.
179
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,570
I'd like
"Executive Assistant."
180
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,082
Now that surprises me, 'cause I did
not know that you had a child.
181
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,491
Was that through...
Was that through intercourse?
182
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,761
Yes.
183
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,171
MICHELLE: You know what?
Good for you.
184
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,247
Michelle, if you can't
give me a raise,
185
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,845
I can't continue
to work here.
186
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,770
Well, look who finally
showed up to my seminar.
187
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,081
(CLAPPING) MICHELLE: 'Bout time, Claire.
I love it.
188
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,003
I didn't know if you were
listening all these years.
189
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,206
What am I always saying?
190
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,446
"Don't go in that room."
191
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,171
MICHELLE: True. I do say that.
But I also say,
192
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,165
"lfyou want something,
you gotta take it."
193
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,288
Claire, you just took it.
194
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,203
And you grew
a pair in the process.
195
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,611
I'm holding your earrings.
(CHUCKLES)
196
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,887
You're holding
a pair of earrings
197
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,403
that in 2001,
I paid $62,000 for.
198
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,806
And that's your raise, now.
That's a good raise.
199
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,006
And you earned it.
200
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,407
Thank you.
201
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,847
Congratulations on
your balls, Claire.
202
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,884
MICHELLE: Isn't Tito the greatest?
(FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS)
203
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,291
CLAIRE: I love Tito.
204
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:31,806
MICHELLE: What are
you doing up here?
205
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,565
Miss Darnell, this just came for you.
They said it was urgent.
206
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,484
(PHONE RINGING)
207
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,406
Oh, it's ringing.
208
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,121
MICHELLE: (GROANS)
Oh, boy.
209
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,251
Go for Darnell.
210
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,121
RENAULT: (VIA PHONE)
I will not be ignored.
211
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,361
Ah. (CHUCKLES)
212
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,723
MICHELLE: Hi there, Ronald.
213
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,486
It's "Renault."
214
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,850
Why are you muscling
in on my Takoro deal?
215
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,404
You know what? A
little birdie told me
216
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,211
that Takoro was merging
with Samson International.
217
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,282
So I acquired the
majority of the stock.
218
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,840
That's called
insider trading, Michelle.
219
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,763
Which makes you a criminal.
220
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,207
You're going to be sorry
you ever dishonored me.
221
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,931
God, for the last time,
you're not a samurai, Ronald.
222
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,001
It's "Renault"!
223
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,368
No, it's not. It's "Ron,"
and you're from Jersey.
224
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,371
Phil. Take off that
ridiculous top.
225
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,210
You should
never cover that up.
226
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,327
0K3)'-
227
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,366
Please don't forget you have an
interview first thing Monday.
228
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,521
MICHELLE: We'll see.
229
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,289
Let me just... Let me
just help you out there.
230
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,444
You'll regret
this, Michelle!
231
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,085
(LAUGHS MAN IACALLY)
232
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,209
Get me the SEC.
233
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,281
0K3)'-
234
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,607
We are back with the one and
only, Michelle Darnell.
235
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,887
Let's talk about your
relationship with your mentor,
236
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,327
that mega mogul,
Ida Marquette.
237
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,565
Well, Gayle, we've got
a terrific relationship.
238
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,290
Really? I'm so
surprised to hear that,
239
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,728
only because we came across this
tape the other day. Take a look.
240
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,081
Oh.
IDA: I was Michelle's mentor.
241
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,844
It's so hard to describe her.
242
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,925
She's a business woman,
a visionary, a leader,
243
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,526
a natural born (BLEEPING)
cocksucker, a motherfucker,
244
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,807
an ass-wipe, a shit stain,
245
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,680
and sewer rat,
fuck-face, professional.
246
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:30,921
(SNICKERING)
247
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,844
Doesn't sound so chummy.
248
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,804
Oh, I think a couple of those
beeps were actually compliments.
249
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,450
That's one way
to look at it.
250
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,170
Michelle, I want to
talk about you.
251
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,244
That you were, basically,
abandoned as a child,
252
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,846
bounced around from foster
home to foster home,
253
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,764
and that, really, you were
raised in an orphanage.
254
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,126
No,no,no.
255
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:54,525
I was lucky enough to attend a
beautiful, lovely elite boarding school,
256
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,206
very much like Hogwarts,
to give you a visual.
257
00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,648
And almost as magical.
I feel very lucky.
258
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,160
Where'd you get that?
259
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,844
GAYLE: We've got a really
good research team,
260
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,809
and when I look at that
picture, I don't think "elite."
261
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,564
Can we talk about
this for a second?
262
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,808
This interview is over.
Where are you going?
263
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,405
I was not trying to
upset you, Michelle.
264
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:18,931
Why are you leaving? MICHELLE:
You know what, Gayle?
265
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,884
Nobody spells "Gayle"
with a It's pretentious.
266
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,770
You've got a great
story to tell.
267
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,205
Keeping the mic!
268
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,731
Gayle King ambushed me. You get
that segment pulled before it airs.
269
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:29,881
Miss Darnell,
you're under arrest
270
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,406
for insider trading and defrauding
the Securities Exchange Commission.
271
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,441
Are you kidding me?
272
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:35,681
Would I kid you?
273
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,250
Claire, call my lawyer. Okay.
274
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,367
Stay back.
275
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,408
What do you make a year?
I'll double it.
276
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,641
Did you just try
to bribe me?
277
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,166
No. I mean,
unless you're tempted...
278
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,604
Hey! This is...
279
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,961
This is not
reasonable. Claire!
280
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,371
Don't fight it, Michelle!
Let me go!
281
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,086
Ooh. Don't struggle, baby!
282
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,326
Renault ratted me out!
283
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,324
It's just insider trading!
Everybody does it!
284
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,249
You are fighting
with the wrong redhead!
285
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:02,761
(GRUNTS)
286
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,569
Yeah. I'm out.
287
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,211
Vmma get my 'gob back
at Best Buy. Boom!
288
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,405
God, you're the worst.
289
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:10,887
FEMALE NEWSCASTER:
In breaking news...
290
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,449
Michelle Darnell was sentenced
to five months in federal prison
291
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,885
for insider trading.
292
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,128
(DOGS GROWLING) Currently,
Darnell Enterprise stocks...
293
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,441
I told you
you'd regret it.
294
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,841
STEPHAN: You can really
hold onto a grudge.
295
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,570
I can't believe
you two used to date.
296
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:25,971
RENAULT: Ah. It was
the Go-Go Nineties.
297
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,247
She was my yin,
I was her yang.
298
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,969
Our bodies were intertwined, but our
spirits were in constant opposition.
299
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,121
Dynamic.
300
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,850
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
301
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:39,846
(SOFT GROAN)
302
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,041
I got this promotion locked!
303
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,286
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
304
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,640
Don't worry.
Once I become senior VP,
305
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,051
nothing's gonna
change between us.
306
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,090
It better not. You look so
fucking rad when you do coke.
307
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,888
BRYCE: Hey, guys! Guys!
308
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,041
What?
309
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,083
They're about to announce
who gets the promotion.
310
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,286
Pretty exciting, huh?
311
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,771
Fuck off, Bryce!
312
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,970
BOSS: AH right,
listen up, everybody.
313
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,326
I'd like you all to join me
314
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,850
in offering a hearty congratulations
to our newest senior VP.
315
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,245
Michelle Darnell!
316
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,081
Oh, my...
317
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,810
What? (CHUCKLING) Oh, my God.
318
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,291
(STAMMERING)
319
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,526
I totally...
320
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,922
Fuck off if you
think that you can take
321
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,650
my client list and I
wasn't gonna notice.
322
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,767
You bitch.
323
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,605
Oh, thank you!
That's so supportive, Ron.
324
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,444
I couldn't have
done it without you.
325
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,330
Ron! Coffee!
326
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,131
"Ron" is gone.
327
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,600
End of broadcast.
328
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,244
(DOOR ALARM BUZZING)
329
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,526
MICHELLE:
It's bullshit, Marty.
330
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,080
I take one little
tip from an insider
331
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,447
and I find myself in
an absolute hellhole.
332
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,888
I mean, look at me, fighting
for my life in the yard.
333
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,371
MARTY: Well,
the news gets worse.
334
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,881
All your accounts have been frozen.
MICHELLE: What?
335
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,208
Your shareholders
have all sold off.
336
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,169
Renault is orchestrating
a hostile takeover
337
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,123
of your entire
holding company.
338
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,123
No. Darnell Enterprises
is bankrupt.
339
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,851
Can he do that? Turn
off the machine, Don.
340
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,126
No, he cannot.
341
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,885
Yes, he can. He actually
did it beautifully.
342
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,891
(CHOKING)
343
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,043
That's my Adam's apple,
you bitch!
344
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,963
Claire, get me
a new lawyer.
345
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,087
There's not gonna
be another lawyer
346
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,326
if you don't have
any money,
347
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,686
you stupid ginger!
348
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,165
You know what? I'm a ginger,
but I'm a natural redhead.
349
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,730
Not that you're
ever gonna find out.
350
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,485
Because you will never be
invited into my basement.
351
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,244
I don't wanna
see your basement!
352
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,321
MICHELLE: Yes, you do!
353
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,243
And by the way,
Claire works for me.
354
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,401
CLAIRE: Actually, Michelle,
355
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,400
I can't work for you anymore.
I got a newjob.
356
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,244
I just came to tell
you as a courtesy.
357
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,404
I would think
a courtesy would be
358
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,767
you sticking with me through
my tough times, Claire.
359
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,922
I would. You know I have a
kid to think about, so...
360
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,365
You have a kid?
361
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,161
I can't tell if you're joking
because I did tell you
362
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,208
that I do have a kid.
And I... lam.
363
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,287
Remember?
Yes.
364
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,767
You do? lam. I'm joking.
I gotcha.
365
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,080
Okay.
Zinger.
366
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,603
MICHELLE: Hello, gal. I wasn't
into you but I was flattered.
367
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,768
Okay, here we go. Tom, do you
mind grabbing that bag for me?
368
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,204
Kimberly, I thought
you had today off.
369
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,327
Yeah, I knew
you were leaving.
370
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,606
You're sweet, Kimberly.
(CHUCKLES)
371
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,364
Now, you're gonna remember
what I told you?
372
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,407
Yes.
Okay?
373
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,891
Stocks are gonna
go up and down.
374
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,689
The big money's
in the long game.
375
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:17,886
Thank you so
much, Michelle.
376
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,126
Thank you, Tom.
You're so sweet.
377
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,645
We're actually gonna miss
you around here. (SIGHS)
378
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,485
Well, I would hope so!
It sounds right to me.
379
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,722
All right, give me
my freedom.
380
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:27,841
(BELL RINGING)
381
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,646
Yep, the air is
sweeter out here.
382
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,846
Did you set up a ride?
383
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,490
No, I was assuming
that a town car
384
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,085
or something
would be provided.
385
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,730
KIMBERLY:
Lock it up, Danny.
386
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,801
(LAUGHING)
387
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,162
You know, she thought a
town car was coming!
388
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,770
Well, could you
call a cab?
389
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,006
I'll get one myself.
390
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:04,367
MICHELLE: Okay, this is my house
right up here. This is good.
391
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:44,887
(GRUNTS)
392
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,001
(SIGHS)
393
00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,846
Oh, come on!
394
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:02,801
Hey!
395
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,641
Can you please stop
ringing the door?
396
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,451
Hi. Does Claire Rawlings
live here?
397
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,567
I don't know.
398
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,282
You don't know because you're
not very bright, or...
399
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,927
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
(MICHELLE CHUCKLES)
400
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,843
You know what? Are you
Claire's daughter?
401
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,729
I thought you were in jail.
402
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,730
Aren't you charming for yelling
that out on the street like that.
403
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,766
May I?
404
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:27,921
No way.
405
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,600
MICHELLE; Why not?
406
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,604
Because Mom's at work and
you're fresh out of prison.
407
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,251
Okay, white-collar
crime doesn't count!
408
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:37,691
Yes, it does!
409
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,922
No, it does not.
It does not.
410
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,361
Hi.
Hi.
411
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,081
(SNORTS)
412
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,761
Whoa.
413
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,202
Claire. Wow.
414
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,367
Hi, Dana.
415
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,489
My goodness,
you are so late.
416
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:03,561
lam?
417
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,886
You're right. You're
absolutely right, Dana.
418
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,689
I'm three minutes late.
419
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,491
Hey, do you work at
the excuse factory?
420
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,646
I wasn't making an excuse. I was
just agreeing that I was a little...
421
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,085
Well, I think that
you're saying
422
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,242
this is an
excuse factory, right?
423
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,771
Hey! Yo, Dana!
Hey, hey, hey.
424
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,410
MIKE: So, hey,
I wanted to tell you.
425
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,369
There is a bunch of people
gathered in the break room...
426
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,407
What, why?
427
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,244
...just raving about
your fourth-quarter review.
428
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,526
Who is? What?
429
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:28,926
That's why I was late.
430
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,806
Because we were all up there, you know,
trading our favorite Dana stories.
431
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,689
So it was...
It's positive...
432
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,171
It's good buzz? There's
a lot of good buzz?
433
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,924
Buzzworthy. Absolutely, yeah.
I mean, they're raving.
434
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,168
I have to go get coffee. Yeah, you do.
(CHUCKLING)
435
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,324
She's a nightmare. She's a tool.
(SIGHS)
436
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,811
She's so many things.
437
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,848
She is definitely
a lot of things.
438
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,126
Uh... (CHUCKLING)
439
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,761
Look at this, look at this! We have
so much in common, me and you.
440
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,171
We have a good
banter here, right?
441
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,241
A little back and forth.
442
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,765
I think maybe we should
443
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,763
try and keep this little
banter wagon going, right?
444
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:56,966
Maybe we can go hang out...
445
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,567
We can dish about the boss,
and gossip about stuff and...
446
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,923
You know, probably do it
over dinner or something,
447
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,002
'cause all that dishing
can be exhausting.
448
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,570
Work up an appetite.
449
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,530
Yeah, well, I'm...
First of all, I'm flattered.
450
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,206
It's a little
complicated for me.
451
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,284
I'm a single mom and I
really try to, you know,
452
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,328
devote a ton of
energy to my kid,
453
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,526
and see her as
much as possible.
454
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,604
I just don't think
that it's a good time.
455
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,250
Yeah, cool.
456
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,845
I was hoping
you would say that
457
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,048
because I love rejection,
so... (CHUCKLING)
458
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,646
Cool.
Cool.
459
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,767
Sorry.
460
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,889
(SNORING)
Michelle.
461
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:50,807
Michelle.
(GASPS)
462
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,448
MICHELLE: Hello.
Hi!
463
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,244
Hi. Hello, Claire.
464
00:21:58,640 --> 00:21:59,721
Surprise!
465
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,404
What are you
doing here?
466
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,530
Oh, well, I had stopped
at our old office
467
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,242
and the security
gentlemen did mention
468
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,563
that you were now
the curator of my estate.
469
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,162
So, I just thought
I should pop over
470
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,049
and maybe
pick up my things.
471
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,969
Okay, I guess you wanna
come up and grab it.
472
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,088
Yes, absolutely.
Do you need...
473
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,081
If you'd like, you
can grab that trunk.
474
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,161
Oh, no.
475
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:27,926
(CLEARS T HRO AT)
476
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,490
Well, this is just...
477
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,721
This is...
478
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,006
This can't be all of it.
479
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,923
I mean, this isn't all of it.
This is...
480
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,284
Where are my things?
481
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,526
My paintings, or, I mean,
my Degas, my rugs, my...
482
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,771
Where are my things?
I'm really sorry, Michelle.
483
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,524
They seized everything.
484
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:52,926
This is what's left.
485
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:01,167
(SIGHS)
486
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,131
Martha Stewart
got everything back.
487
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,806
I mean, they rallied around her.
They loved her more.
488
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,646
Well, Michelle, know that Rachel
and I are rooting for you,
489
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,769
and, if you need us,
you can always call
490
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,929
or send a letter here,
orjust a quick text.
491
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,004
Um, do you want me to
help you out with this?
492
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,365
If she doesn't have anywhere
to go, she should stay here.
493
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,001
Honey, she knows plenty of people.
She has plenty of places to stay.
494
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,727
Tito won't return
any of my calls.
495
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,685
My sweet Tito.
496
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,130
Fucking Tito.
497
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,367
(SIGHS)
498
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,841
Mom, we can't let her
sleep on the street.
499
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,128
Do you really not
have anywhere to go?
500
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,210
No. I don't.
501
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,169
Okay, you can
stay here.
502
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,927
But for a very limited
amount of time. Okay?
503
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,530
Yes. Just until you get
back on your feet.
504
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,601
All right?
MICHELLE: Yes.
505
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,091
CLAIRE: It's a small
space. You know.
506
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,089
It's tight sometimes
for Rachel and I, so...
507
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,124
It is really small, it's
like... It's freaky small.
508
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,407
Well, but you're
welcome, here.
509
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,211
If you need to crash,
you can have the couch.
510
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,203
Yes. We'll draw straws.
Okay.
511
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,362
It'll be a fun
kind of roommate...
512
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,487
It's not a negotiation.
513
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,681
...stuff. Okay.
514
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:11,601
Ha.
515
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,963
A bed inside a sofa.
That's neat.
516
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,566
Well, it's old,
but it's comfortable, so...
517
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,326
Thank you, Claire.
518
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:20,926
Good night, Michelle.
519
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,007
It's...
520
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:29,887
Well...
521
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,367
This isn't so...
522
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,441
(YELPING)
523
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,326
(GROANING)
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
524
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:44,441
Claire!
525
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,246
I think I've
shattered my pelvis.
526
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,841
(SOFT GROAN)
527
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,842
(GASPS) Oh, Michelle!
Oh, my God.
528
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,001
Claire!
529
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,845
Michelle, why
are you in my bed?
530
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,082
Because your sofa
threw me against a wall,
531
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,362
and I've had a cellie
for the last six months.
532
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,284
I find it very difficult
to sleep on my own.
533
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,564
Wow. Okay. You're
kicking up a lot of...
534
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,290
ls that from...
ls that me?
535
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,361
L think...
(BLOVVS)
536
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,044
Yeah, that's me.
537
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:22,610
You know what?
I got into
538
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,364
a wee bit of your
Scotch last night.
539
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,442
And, you know
what else I tried
540
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,608
that I thought was
terrific, was a Dorito.
541
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,201
I think it was
the cheese.
542
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,887
I mean not a cheese found in
nature, but cheese-adjacent.
543
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,406
I just thought
it was wonderful.
544
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,925
What a wonderful chip.
545
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,128
(SIGHS) Michelle, you can't sleep in
my bed. I don't want you in here.
546
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,690
You gotta get it
together, Michelle.
547
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,489
I am together, okay?
548
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,325
This morning, I'm meeting with
a bunch of old colleagues.
549
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,965
I'm gonna pour this
into something
550
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,530
creamy and delicious,
551
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,204
and see who
takes a big sip.
552
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,685
Get out, out of my bed.
553
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,049
God. I see why this half
of the bed maybe is empty.
554
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,891
Okay? You're a real
B-I-T-C-U-N-T in the morning.
555
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,769
You think about that.
556
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,684
Michelle, you gotta
get out of the bathroom.
557
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,764
I'm already late for work and
Rachel's gonna be late for school.
558
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,405
MICHELLE: Well, I'm going
as fast as I can.
559
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:13,845
You're welcome
to come in.
560
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,926
Fine, but we gotta get on a
schedule if you're gonna be here...
561
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,206
(GASPS)
0h. my God!
562
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,041
Close your robe.
563
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,286
No, absolutely not!
564
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:24,409
I'm self-tanning and
my legs are still wet.
565
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,604
I can see your vagina.
566
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,206
Well, congratulations
and you're welcome!
567
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,681
You know, I had it
rejuvenated in 2010.
568
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,649
They call it
a vaguvenation!
569
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,845
You know, it's like
a soft silk coin purse.
570
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,524
I can barely urinate.
571
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,681
Oh, my God!
572
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:40,841
Now, do me a favor
573
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,161
and tell me if I have
any streaks on my hamstrings.
574
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:44,401
(GASPS) Oh, God!
Put it away!
575
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,726
Whoa.
Put it away.
576
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:47,964
Hi, Raquel!
577
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,121
It's Rachel!
578
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,281
Go grab your
backpack,honey.
579
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,727
We don't need to brush our teeth today.
Our teeth are fine.
580
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,524
You need to wipe some of that off
your face. You know it dries darker?
581
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,204
No, does it?
CLAIRE: Yes.
582
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,123
But that's not
what the bottle says.
583
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,848
Oh, it's okay. It's coming off
like a dream on your towel.
584
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,081
CLAIRE: You need to
clean up the bathroom.
585
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,127
And consider staying away
from self-tanner altogether.
586
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,090
Your pelvic region
is the color of curry.
587
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,323
(WHISPERING) Namaste,
Claire. Thank you.
588
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,561
It's not a compliment.
589
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:18,681
Oh.
590
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:20,481
(MOANING)
591
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,603
BRYCE: All right, here's
a little joke for everybody.
592
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,650
What do golfers do
on their day off?
593
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,401
Putter around.
594
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,210
(ALL LAUGHING)
595
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,849
Torn, I'm gonna crunch
those numbers for you,
596
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,809
but I'm going to make you
pay through the teeth.
597
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,680
Oh.
598
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,966
Bryce Cream!
599
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,089
Oh, my God!
How long has it been?
600
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,051
You old son of a bitch!
It has been too long!
601
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,327
Terri. Hello, gentlemen. Hi...
602
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:52,967
Carl.
603
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,685
Oh. Look at that beard.
604
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,161
How's that old ball-and-chain
Pam treatin' ya? (CHUCKLING)
605
00:27:58,200 --> 00:27:59,929
Pam passed away
four months ago.
606
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,090
(SOFTLY) That's tough.
That's tough.
607
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,929
We're kind of in the middle
of something here, Michelle.
608
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,286
So, thank you very much.
609
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,769
Word on the street,
Bryce, is that
610
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,763
you're just about to
close on that Kraft deal.
611
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,366
So if you want me to
head up that division...
612
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,445
I think I could be a pretty big
asset to you on that account.
613
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,765
You've got no capital
and nobody likes you.
614
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,569
Nobody here at
this table likes you.
615
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,246
Nobody at this entire club likes you.
(WHISPERING) That's not true.
616
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,368
Horrible, horrible
feedback from everybody.
617
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,963
So, thank you for
the groveling. Good bye!
618
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,406
Fuck off, Bryce.
619
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,210
Yeah. You know what?
620
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,126
You wouldn't even be here
621
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,407
if I hadn't brought you
in as a junior executive.
622
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:42,766
And, Terri, you think
anybody else
623
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,086
would've hired you
right out of college?
624
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,043
No! I don't who
the fuck you three are.
625
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:47,161
But I'll guess this.
626
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,288
I bet you got here
climbing on my back somehow.
627
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,328
Carl, I gave you
that Landis account.
628
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,610
I handed you your career and I'm
the one that made Pam a sales rep!
629
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:56,806
Pam is dead.
630
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,331
Pam was a whore!
631
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,006
She fucked her way through
the whole IT department.
632
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,208
And Terri knows it, 'cause
you were in on it, too!
633
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,010
MICHELLE: Yeah!
CARL: The tech guys?
634
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,570
You think Pam did
all the tech guys?
635
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,287
The lowest, weirdest,
saddestguys!
636
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:11,691
That's who Pam fucked!
637
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,250
Go to hell, Michelle!
Go to hell!
638
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,130
When I get to hell, I'll tell
Pam that you said hello,
639
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,282
'cause she's probably down
there fucking IT guys.
640
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:22,644
Weird little guys, carrying
wires around in weird hats.
641
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,290
That's who she's
fucking in hell.
642
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:25,361
Yeah.
643
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,761
I don't need you.
644
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,491
I don't need you and
you're gonna be sorry.
645
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,005
'Cause I got
a sweet deal for you
646
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,605
and you're
letting it walk out.
647
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,160
You know, you want to be dumbasses?
Be my guest.
648
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,402
I'll tell you what,
you're gonna regret this.
649
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,086
Yow!
650
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,531
(GROANING)
651
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,928
Yow! Son of a bitch!
652
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,530
Holy shit!
Son of a bitch!
653
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,045
How'd she survive that?
654
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,804
BRYCE: 'Cause she's horrible.
655
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:50,961
Let's go.
656
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,565
MICHELLE: Mother of shite!
657
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,530
I dinged my pelvis again.
658
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:03,681
Ah.
659
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:05,327
(EXHALES)
660
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,811
Tell me everything.
Okay.
661
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:11,169
So, right off the top, Bryce
ordered a Nicoise salad
662
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,641
but he asked for the tuna
to be really well done.
663
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,041
But if it's a quality piece of
tuna, you don't wanna have it...
664
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,088
Not relevant.
Okay, right.
665
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,601
Bryce did everything
you asked him to do.
666
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:22,841
Michelle came in.
She was like,
667
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,001
"I wanna be in a business."
668
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,650
And he was like,
"No dice."
669
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,366
And then, she fell
down a flight of stairs.
670
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,488
(GASPS) Did she hurt
her wonderful body?
671
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,449
I have a video of it.
Do you wanna see?
672
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:35,761
MICHELLE: I'll fell you what.
673
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:37,321
Oh, look at her.
STEPHAN: Mmm-hmm.
674
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,286
On. (LAUGHING)
675
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,206
(BOTH LAUGHING)
676
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,525
Oh.
677
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,250
DR. OZ: So you see
the normal intestine.
678
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,683
Now, notice the difference between
that intestine and this intestine.
679
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,843
I'm getting light-headed. ls
there any of that brownie left?
680
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,849
Yeah. I feel like my
blood sugar's dropping.
681
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,924
I should probably pop
it with a little sugar.
682
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,928
Holy shit!
That is a good brownie.
683
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,001
Language.
684
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,923
Well, I'm sorry, you give
me a holy-shit brownie.
685
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,206
I'm gonna say,
"Holy shit!"
686
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:13,205
'Cause holy shit,
this is a good brownie.
687
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,601
I can't believe... Your
mom makes these, right?
688
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,603
Yeah, it's a family recipe.
689
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,041
Hi!
690
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,730
I'm pretty sure Michelle
has diverticulitis.
691
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,131
What?
MICHELLE: I got it.
692
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,769
I think it's
pretty advanced, Claire.
693
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,080
CLAIRE: Who said that?
694
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:30,241
Doctor Oz.
695
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:31,481
MICHELLE: Look.
696
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:32,726
Oh, my God!
697
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,404
There's my colon again.
698
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,290
Okay, you need
to get off the couch
699
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,727
because you've been laying
down for about three weeks.
700
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,246
And, also, you have to start
pulling your weight around here.
701
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:43,446
We can start tonight.
702
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,602
You can take Rachel
to her Dandelions meeting.
703
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,643
What? Why aren't you taking me?
704
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:48,767
Sweetie, I can't.
705
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:53,084
My boss, who is a massive
fan of yours, by the way,
706
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,401
has decided I need to go
back in for the evening.
707
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:56,481
CLAIRE: Okay?
(CLAPS HANDS)
708
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,525
Let's go! The most important part of
the plan being "get off the couch."
709
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,686
I don't think I
like sassy Claire.
710
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,605
MICHELLE: All right. I want you to
give me the lowdown on this meeting.
711
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,762
What are my opportunities?
What are my pitfalls?
712
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,171
RACHEL: What do you mean?
713
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,447
MICHELLE: Well, I want to
know what I'm walking into.
714
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,568
RACHEL: Oh,
everyone's pretty nice.
715
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:24,442
I forgot how many people ride
the It's kind of fascinating.
716
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,445
Some people depend on this.
Like, they don't have a car.
717
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:30,167
Well, I know that.
718
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,528
MICHELLE: Roller-skating
or roller-blading?
719
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:35,487
Roller-blading.
720
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,289
Honey or agave nectar?
721
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,044
Agave.
No, they're both terrible.
722
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,329
Cell phone, landline?
723
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,641
What?
Oh, God.
724
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,809
Do you not know
what that means?
725
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,848
No.
(SIGHS) Oh, Jesus.
726
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,721
MICHELLE: Okay, this
should be interesting.
727
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,442
Ladies, big news.
Great news.
728
00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,450
Marsha Swan's tabby cat,
Spaghetti, is on the mend
729
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,683
and expected to
make a full recovery.
730
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,046
YaY, Spaghetti!
731
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,726
Yay!
732
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,004
My daughter, Beth, was so
worried about Spaghetti.
733
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,003
Thank goodness she's
back on her feet.
734
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,084
Funny fact about Spaghetti,
she hates spaghetti.
735
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,409
You seem fucking
crazy to me.
736
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,447
Excuse me?
737
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,170
Cute as a daisy to me.
(GIGGLING)
738
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,162
SANDY: Okay, now,
not to sound too kookie,
739
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,084
but let's talk
"cookie" sales, that is.
740
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,480
(ALL LAUGHING)
741
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,684
Okay, so this year,
we came in with $21,000.
742
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,729
Pretty good job, big bucks.
743
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:44,603
But Detroit is still in the lead
for the year with $189,000.
744
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,730
Can I just ask you,
are these numbers
745
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,524
you're talking about
just cookie sales?
746
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,570
And, if so, how many troupes
are we talking about here?
747
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:57,251
There are 3.2 million
Dandelions all over the world
748
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,369
blown across the earth,
making a difference.
749
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:01,646
Is this global?
750
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,368
Wait, I recognize you.
You're Michelle Darnell.
751
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,209
Please, don't make a fuss.
752
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,770
Oh, I'm gonna
make a fuss.
753
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,684
You're a convicted felon sitting
in a room full of children.
754
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:12,966
You're a criminal.
755
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,405
It was white-collar crime.
756
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,084
Okay, you don't
have to defend me.
757
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,491
You're such
alosen
758
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,570
I'm sorry,
what did he say?
759
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:20,921
What?
760
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,240
SANDY: Well, I would...
(WHISPERING) Yeah.
761
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,890
Excuse me. Hi.
762
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,086
MICHELLE: I gotta ask you.
763
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,926
Now are we talking part-time
or full-time employees here?
764
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,924
Nope, just happy volunteers.
765
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,001
What?
766
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,923
For your information,
jailbird...
767
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,765
She seems great.
768
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,127
The Dandelions helps girls
build leadership skills.
769
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,043
It looks good on their
high-school transcript
770
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,690
and they are bettering
their community,
771
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,290
which is more than
I can say for you.
772
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,408
A-ha. What is your name?
773
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:47,760
Helen Kreagan.
774
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,491
Oh, you know what? I think you
dropped something right here.
775
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,164
You go fuck yourself.
Go fuck yourself.
776
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:53,806
(WHISPERING)
Go fuck yourself.
777
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,810
I don't think you know
who you're talking to.
778
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,451
I think I do. And I think
I want you to fuck off.
779
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,567
I don't think you do.
780
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,521
(LAUGHING)
781
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:02,601
9h, my gosh!
782
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:07,202
Can we just take a minute and
give congrats to Sarah, here?
783
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,770
Thank you. It's Sandy.
It's Sandy.
784
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,484
Or Sandy.
I like Sarah.
785
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:14,971
Whatever, either one.
786
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,203
I gotta know how much are you
selling these boxes for?
787
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,961
SANDY: Girls.
GROUP: $7.
788
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:22,201
MICHELLE: $7?
789
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:23,960
Ka-ching, right?
790
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:28,045
I got a guy in Shanghai who can make
this same box of cookies, 19 cents.
791
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,487
This is an official meeting
and you're interrupting it.
792
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,164
Let's take a poll,
show of hands.
793
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,930
Who finds Helen
to be a bummer?
794
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,888
MICHELLE: Lots of hands.
Oh, Helen.
795
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,690
Toot. (CHUCKLING)
796
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:40,761
(CLEARS T HRO AT)
797
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,890
Do something, Mom.
798
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,131
I object to parolees
attending our meetings
799
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:47,611
and I'd like to put
that in the minutes.
800
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,241
May I?
801
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:50,810
Let me just handle this.
802
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,928
Another great point
by Helen.
803
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,161
You know what, Helen?
804
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:55,730
If you don't get
off my fucking back,
805
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,049
I'm gonna shove a box of chocolate
clusters up that tight ass of yours.
806
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,401
(GASPING)
807
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,481
(GASPING) on.
808
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,530
I would love
to go to lunch.
809
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:07,725
You're on. You got yourself a date.
That sounds terrific, okay?
810
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,809
MICHELLE: Sandy,
I love that kerchief.
811
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:10,881
(SOFTLY) Was that necessary?
812
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,485
Super necessary.
Yeah.
813
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,965
(METAL RATTLING)
814
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:22,971
(MICHELLE CHATTERING)
815
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:28,931
CLAIRE; Michelle?
816
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,446
Hi!
What are you doing?
817
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,726
What is all this?
818
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,370
This is my way
back, m'kay?
819
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,807
You are looking
at Darnell 2.0.
820
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,570
I wondered when
you were getting up.
821
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,444
Have you not
gone to bed yet?
822
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,284
No, I have been
up and percolating
823
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,203
since 11:00 p.m.
last night.
824
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,203
Just great stuff, Claire! Okay.
825
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,406
You're having a breakdown.
826
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:50,007
No,no,no! I'm having a
breakthrough, because of you.
827
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,889
Sit down,
I gotta show you this.
828
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:56,488
Let me introduce you
to my new golden goose...
829
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,641
Darnell's Darlings.
830
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:01,881
Rough sketches.
831
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,530
So, I know.
Those will be perfected.
832
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,171
But, really, tell me,
what's your initial thoughts?
833
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,404
Stalin.
Okay.
834
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,244
Communist youth.
All right!
835
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,325
Japanese-y black power?
836
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,971
My takeaway from
that is "powerful."
837
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,971
Powerful imagery and I'll take
that any day of the week.
838
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,207
Why are you up?
839
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,607
Sit down, sleepyhead.
Let's wake it up.
840
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,082
Claire, we're gonna
start a brownie company.
841
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,925
No, we're gonna
start a brownie empire.
842
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,571
Okay? And we're gonna call it
Darnell's Darlings.
843
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,049
Illinois alone has
25,000 Dandelions.
844
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:42,001
They're pulling in,
in one year, $32,500,000.
845
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,249
This is a global company.
846
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,846
The Dandelions are making
a billion dollars a year.
847
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,369
Is that going in your pocket?
Helen's probably pocketing it.
848
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,283
I mean, that horrible
bitch would take teeth
849
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,289
right out of a kid.
Am I wrong?
850
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,842
If she could sell teeth,
she'd rip kids' teeth out.
851
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,966
I'm gonna let it go,
but Helen's horrible.
852
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,929
The Dandelions are
a non-profit, Michelle.
853
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,128
That money goes back into
great programs for the girls.
854
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,043
MICHELLE: Oh, great programs?
That's interesting.
855
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,168
Rachel, do me a favor.
856
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:12,767
Tell your mom what was the last
"great program" you completed.
857
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,564
Go ahead, go ahead.
858
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,689
Scout leader Sandy gave me a
"Social Butterfly" badge.
859
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:18,966
That's great!
860
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,487
Tell her what a "Social
Butterfly" badge is.
861
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:26,043
I had to hold a conversation with
a new person for 30 minutes...
862
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:27,681
Okay.
...and demonstrate
863
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,330
how to be
a good hostess.
864
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,930
Next week, I'm thinking maybe
they'll arrange marriages.
865
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,208
I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna design
866
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,288
a special new badge
for the Dandelions.
867
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,204
It's gonna be a real big one,
so no one misses it.
868
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,044
And I'm gonna make it
a picture of a woman.
869
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:46,091
A real sad woman with apron strings
on, bent over in front of an oven.
870
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,241
And it's gonna say,
"You know why
871
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,482
"we like vaginas
better than your mouth?
872
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,767
"Because they don't have
teeth and they don't talk."
873
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,321
And you could turn that badge
over and you're gonna realize
874
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,846
that there's a man in the oven
and she's giving him a blowjob.
875
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,327
Good luck earning that!
876
00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,601
Michelle!
877
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,569
I heard everything anyways.
878
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,968
These girls are gonna
earn some real money
879
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,883
that can go
towards a college fund,
880
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,887
give them empowerment, give
them a good sense of self.
881
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,883
I find that exciting, Claire.
882
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,283
It's a nice idea, Michelle,
883
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,250
but it's also a crazy one.
884
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,288
Claire, I want you
to listen to me.
885
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,841
You have an amazing product.
886
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,691
You make a mind-blowing brownie.
Okay.
887
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,930
And I can sell anything I believe
in, and I believe in your product.
888
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,682
We can be partners. Not my assistant.
Fifty-fifty.
889
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,651
That's how much I believe in this.
What do you say?
890
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,084
I have to keep
myjob, Michelle.
891
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,964
This is...
It's just too risky.
892
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,250
(SIGHS) Come on.
893
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,802
You don't even
like yourjob, Mom.
894
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,603
Oh, that was
beautiful timing.
895
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:51,841
I didn't even set that up.
896
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,768
You know what, Claire?
Keep your terrible job.
897
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,649
Do this on the side.
898
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,051
Okay? Plus, it's gonna
get me off your couch.
899
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,167
I'm in.
900
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:02,641
You're in?
CLAIRE: Mmm-hmm.
901
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,241
Let's do it, people!
902
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,288
Okay, Rachel,
you go get dressed.
903
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,647
I'm gonna take you to school. We're
gonna get some new recruits!
904
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,127
(YAWNS) It's 4:00 a.m.
I'm going back to bed.
905
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,326
Night, sweetie.
906
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,686
What? Okay, you know what?
907
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,808
You get your rest,
you're gonna need it!
908
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,406
We gotta recruit some
Darnell Darlings today!
909
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,329
Claire, my quarterback,
910
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,164
I need you to bust
ass into that kitchen
911
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,846
and start making pan after
pan after pan of brownies,
912
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,082
'cause that's how fast
I'm gonna sell 'em, okay?
913
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,003
Right now?
Right now! All right?
914
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,082
I may have tried to
preheat that oven,
915
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:33,242
so I think there's
a little bit of a gas leak.
916
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,685
Huh? If you think
about it, it may be
917
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,251
why you guys are
feeling a little logy.
918
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,523
Hey, Rach, you know what? Don't
go to sleep! Don't go to sleep!
919
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:40,601
Oh, my God!
920
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,602
MICHELLE: Okay. We may
have to walk her.
921
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,040
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
922
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,446
Ah. You know what?
923
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,524
It feels good to kind of put the
shine and polish back on again.
924
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,441
People say it doesn't
matter, but it does.
925
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,801
Puts a little kick in your step.
(MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING)
926
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,290
Who is that beast?
927
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,808
That's Chrystal Delveccio.
928
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,042
She's always
getting into fist fights.
929
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,568
Later, Dad.
MICHELLE: That's perfect.
930
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,882
That is exactly the kind
of gal we want to recruit.
931
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,485
You know what?
Another little tip.
932
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,131
Look for girls that are named
after precious stones.
933
00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:17,971
Topaz, Sapphire,
Opal, Amber.
934
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:19,441
They're all gonna
spiral down.
935
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,251
We want to get 'em when they're
angry and fresh going in.
936
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,607
Why don't you check out
Chrystal's availability?
937
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:25,961
Got it.
938
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,248
My mom never lets
me drink coffee.
939
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,322
Really, why?
940
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,325
She says it'll
stunt your growth.
941
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,129
That's not true.
That's crazy.
942
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,522
What, do you wanna
be freakishly tall?
943
00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:41,085
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
944
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,366
All right. Get in there,
drum up some good recruits.
945
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,082
(GASPS) I feel kind of
sweaty and scared.
946
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,003
That's just the coffee kickin' in.
It's good for...
947
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,924
Oh, you know what? Wait a
minute, let me see something.
948
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,045
Oh, I may have
switched them.
949
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,600
This one's yours. I put a little
splash of bourbon in mine.
950
00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:58,841
That's okay.
951
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:00,920
It's kind of
a secret weapon.
952
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,130
It's what makes
the Irish so mean.
953
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:04,810
And I can say that
'cause I'm Scottish!
954
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:06,761
Go get 'em!
955
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:11,881
SANDY: And so, due to some
unforeseen complications,
956
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,803
andjust, um...
957
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,446
Giving up...
958
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,602
Spaghetti passed
away last night.
959
00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,245
Listen up,
motherfuckers!
960
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,367
Michelle, language!
961
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:21,885
Who here wants
to hear about
962
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,042
an un-freaking-believably
exciting opportunity?
963
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:25,281
Huh?
964
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,609
All right! Woo!
Look at this group!
965
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,363
All right. What's with
all the long faces?
966
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:31,726
Did somebody die?
(CHUCKLING)
967
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,644
Yeah. Spaghetti
died last night.
968
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:35,960
Who is Spaghetti?
969
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,246
The cat.
970
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,322
The cat? Oh.
Can I be honest?
971
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:40,561
That cat probably
killed himself
972
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:41,841
because his name
was "Spaghetti."
973
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:42,927
Right? Hey-oh!
974
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,161
Michelle.
MICHELLE: Oh...
975
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,406
All right, okay. Why don't
you take off, Sandy?
976
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:48,686
It's my meeting
and I'm...
977
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,086
0K3)'-
978
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,650
Go catch it. Go catch it.
979
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,051
Really sorry
about your loss.
980
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,761
MICHELLE: As you already know,
my name is Michelle Darnell
981
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:56,841
and this is my partner.
982
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,123
And by "partner," I don't mean
like girl-on-girl kind of stuff.
983
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:02,481
Whoa!
What's "girl-on-girl stuff"?
984
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,367
Uh, well, great question.
I love an inquisitive mind.
985
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,522
Girl-on-girl stuff is
really just referring to
986
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,126
something you're probably
gonna dabble with in college,
987
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,247
but not stick
with, you know?
988
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:12,401
Let's not...
Don't tell her that.
989
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:13,561
Unless you're Hannah.
990
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:14,971
Hannah,youTe gonna stick with it.
(GIGGLING)
991
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,041
Don't... You know
what? Let's...
992
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,646
And I got a hunch that your
mom should've stuck with it.
993
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:20,370
She wouldn't be so
pent-up and angry.
994
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:21,681
MICHELLE: That's my hunch.
995
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:22,841
CLAIRE: Let's change
the subject.
996
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:26,811
We brought you guys some delicious
homemade brownie treats.
997
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,850
Ooh. Look at this! We brought
treats, everybody! Treats!
998
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,610
Let me ask you
one question.
999
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,081
When you sell a box of
cookies, what do you get?
1000
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,004
You get points that can
apply to your canoe trip.
1001
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,560
Wrong, you get
a big plate of bullshit!
1002
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:42,924
That is 100% right,
you beautiful giant!
1003
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,480
Now, at Darnell's Darlings,
we don't think that's right.
1004
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,001
We think ifyou go out
and sell a box of cookies,
1005
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,605
we should give
you 5% commission.
1006
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:51,928
5% commission,
every box you sell.
1007
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,604
It was supposed
to be 10%, I think.
1008
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,604
That's right, we did say that.
Yeah.
1009
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,967
So far, you suck at this.
Just letting you know that.
1010
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,724
Okay, it's 10%.
1011
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,371
You come work with us, you
get a share of the profits.
1012
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,166
Okay. Or you can stay here!
1013
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:05,810
Be my guest and,
I don't know, build some
1014
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,201
dirty badger nests
in some kind of tree.
1015
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,089
Or what did you
have planned, Sandy?
1016
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:14,007
Well, actually, we were gonna build
a dirty badger nest in a tree.
1017
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,650
My God.
1018
00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:18,768
My God! And I was
making that up.
1019
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,845
I was trying to think of the worst
possible scenario on Earth.
1020
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,649
What the hell is
going on in here?
1021
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,241
I leave the room for one minute
to talk to my landscaper
1022
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:28,845
and the meeting
goes into the toilet?
1023
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:30,525
Sorry, Helen,
we're almost done.
1024
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,444
Okay, you guys, the best part
about Darnell's Darlings
1025
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,444
is that, for each
box sold, an extra 10%
1026
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,648
will go into a college fund for you.
Okay?
1027
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,684
We are gonna help you save
for your college education.
1028
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,731
Wait, are you trying to poach
girls from a Dandelions meeting?
1029
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,530
No!
1030
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,524
Helen, we are not
trying to poach girls.
1031
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:54,685
We are actively and definitely
poaching girls from this meeting.
1032
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:55,761
HELEN: Get your hands off me.
1033
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,325
Fuck you, Helen!
You fuck you!
1034
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,605
Tell your little
shitty daughter,
1035
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,001
never talk to
Rachel like that again.
1036
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,128
Let's um, go, girls.
MICHELLE: Okay, girls!
1037
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,045
Whoever wants to go to the
fun room, come on with me!
1038
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,806
Just down the hall. The bigger,
the better room. We got foosball!
1039
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,162
Okay. And I promise,
no Helen!
1040
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,842
Bye, Helen! Good luck
with your product!
1041
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:17,641
Oh, man.
1042
00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:18,767
I mean, what is
it, anyway?
1043
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:23,801
It looks like just a bunch of homemade,
gluten-filled, sugar-filled,
1044
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:25,565
diabetes cake.
1045
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:28,961
(INHALES DEEPLY)
1046
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,331
HELEN: With chocolate!
1047
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:37,325
Oh, my God.
1048
00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:40,085
It's good.
1049
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,050
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
1050
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,601
MICHELLE: Now,
what are we doing?
1051
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,842
GROUP: Selling brownies!
1052
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:12,922
Okay, what do we say if
somebody doesn't want to buy?
1053
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,610
"Buy my brownies
or I'll kill you."
1054
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:16,287
Don't say
that, Chrystal.
1055
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:17,407
Say that.
That's perfect.
1056
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,443
All right,
now go make some money!
1057
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:21,406
Woo!
1058
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,249
MICHELLE: The van
leaves at 7:00!
1059
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,482
If you're not back,
we will leave without you!
1060
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,961
No, we're not gonna leave.
Nobody's leaving you.
1061
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,849
We're leaving
at 7:00 sharp.
1062
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,042
MICHELLE: 7:00!
CLAIRE: The van'll be here.
1063
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,449
I didn't count
how many there were.
1064
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:36,846
I did. Whew.
Oh, good.
1065
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,211
(SOBBING)
1066
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:43,209
(INAUDIBLE)
1067
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,361
Okay, these are cut
and cooled. Bag 'em.
1068
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,325
Michelle, are you helping?
1069
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,765
Yes, of course,
I'm helping.
1070
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,569
By the way, don't give him
anymore freebies, okay?
1071
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,927
He's gotta pay for them,
just like everybody else.
1072
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:03,326
Oh, they're so good!
1073
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,926
There you are. All set.
1074
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:08,287
Don't forget the tip.
1075
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:09,481
Now, how could I?
You're so big.
1076
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:11,767
You've said it so many times.
And, there, you got it.
1077
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,171
Hi, do you have money?
1078
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:20,927
Hey!
1079
00:47:21,240 --> 00:47:23,368
There ain't gonna be any
brownies left in the world.
1080
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,329
Get outta here.
Go sell brownies!
1081
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:26,721
(CHUCKUNG)
1082
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:28,729
Okay.
Hello, Bonnie!
1083
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:32,407
Look at this.
Patrice, take that.
1084
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:33,891
Take that and
buy me something!
1085
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,689
I'm just kidding,
but if you want to...
1086
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:45,526
Remember, girls, when the houses
are nice, we double the price.
1087
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,080
Rich people don't
trust affordable snacks.
1088
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,806
You know what? Let's go up to $10 a box.
HELEN: Hey!
1089
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,046
What do you
think you're doing?
1090
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:55,645
MICHELLE: Hi, Helen!
1091
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:58,645
We're participating
in the American Dream.
1092
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,210
Not on this street,
you're not.
1093
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,123
This is
Dandelion territory.
1094
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,406
It's okay,
Helen, we'll just...
1095
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:04,970
HELEN: Shut up, Sandy!
Okay.
1096
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,087
You guys are losers!
1097
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,401
Hey, suck
my dick, Gigantor!
1098
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:09,481
(ALL GASPING)
You're fucking dead!
1099
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:10,607
Hannah, stop it!
1100
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:12,729
HELEN: We are not gonna
behave like this!
1101
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:13,961
Michelle.
1102
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:15,407
A word?
1103
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,641
MICHELLE: I'd be delighted.
1104
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:20,805
First rule of business, pretend to
negotiate and then take what you want.
1105
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,324
Listen, jailbird.
1106
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,324
You think because
you used to be someone
1107
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:30,811
that the rules
don't apply to you
1108
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,087
and your pathetic
band of rejects?
1109
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:35,321
Well, you're wrong, bitch.
1110
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,090
Ugh. Helen!
1111
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,525
You got a case of
the old trench-mouth.
1112
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,524
Did you let a corpse
curl up and die in there?
1113
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:44,846
RACHEL: Forget it, Michelle.
1114
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,766
Let's just start on the next block.
MICHELLE: No, no, no.
1115
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:52,848
Second rule of business is when
a stanky, hummus-eating bitch
1116
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:56,527
and her yeti of a daughter
gets in your face,
1117
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:58,205
you gotta regulate.
1118
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:01,848
Hannah, give me some space.
1119
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:05,521
(ALL GASPING)
1120
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,011
(CHUCKUNG)
1121
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:08,201
Oh.
1122
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,044
How'd that taste?
Nice.
1123
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:11,560
(GROANING)
1124
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:15,891
Chomp on that!
1125
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,086
(DARLINGS CHEERING)
1126
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:21,401
(GRUNTING)
1127
00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:23,484
Let's get 'em!
1128
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:24,641
(ALL CLAMORING)
1129
00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:44,164
They're animals!
They're animals!
1130
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:54,930
Rachel's not done!
1131
00:49:55,240 --> 00:49:57,208
Rachel's thirsty for more!
1132
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:05,246
Yeah!
1133
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,568
Hey, Chrystal!
I'm coming for you!
1134
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,240
Bring it on!
1135
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,922
Oh, no, you don't!
You're not going anywhere!
1136
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,207
Do you understand me? Dandelions
never leave a street fight!
1137
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:25,566
God damn it, Helen!
1138
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:26,880
We're gonna wipe the floor!
1139
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,450
Sandy, why?
1140
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,443
'Cause I'm
the leader, dang it!
1141
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,005
You're a traitor!
SANDY: No.
1142
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,531
Move! That bitch is mine!
1143
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:39,726
Wait. No!
1144
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:43,202
Hey, time to put the cookies
back in the cookie jar, Helen!
1145
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,601
BOTH: Ooh. I warned you, Helen!
I warned you!
1146
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,484
Those clusters
are scratching me!
1147
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,642
Good! Darlings!
1148
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:51,286
Let's go!
1149
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:53,800
Stay down!
1150
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:55,530
Don't tell your mom.
Okay.
1151
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:57,642
(PANTING)
This was great.
1152
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:05,521
Ooh!
1153
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:07,290
That batch is burnt!
1154
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,521
Bye.
1155
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:14,525
One of 'em's in me.
1156
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,847
MICHELLE: Hi, is
there a Claire here?
1157
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,240
Is Claire...
1158
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,330
Hi! Where is Claire?
1159
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,880
Section 509,
but return on investment...
1160
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:28,961
Ugh. ugh.
1161
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,686
Oh.
1162
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,888
Look at you, in the middle of everything...
I'll call you back.
1163
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:33,961
In a bullpen.
1164
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:35,166
What are you doing here?
1165
00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:38,007
We're out of brownies.
We need you to make more.
1166
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:39,725
Well, I'm at work!
1167
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,771
Uh, hi, there! Hey!
You're Michelle Darnell.
1168
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,725
Of course I am.
(LAUGHS) Yes, you are.
1169
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,723
Mike, this is Michelle.
Michelle, Mike.
1170
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,041
(INHALES DEEPLY)
1171
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,201
Ah...
1172
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,045
"Mike" Mike.
1173
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:53,406
Oh. Rejected Mike.
1174
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,209
The rejected Mike?
Don't...
1175
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,329
You know, he is kind of cute. I think
you should toss him a pity date.
1176
00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,765
MIKE: I don't need the pity,
1177
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,968
but I will take the date
if that's out there.
1178
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:03,121
If that's an option.
1179
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,601
Pity's all you've got.
Pity's your best friend.
1180
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:07,564
Okay. Good to know.
Okay.
1181
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:09,404
Just stop talking to him, okay?
Leave him alone.
1182
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:11,045
DANA: What is
going on here?
1183
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,601
(STAMMERING) Oh, my...
Greatest. Okay.
1184
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:15,804
You are Michelle Darnell.
1185
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,086
Guilty as charged.
1186
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,170
Oh, wow. I have two
personal heroes in my life,
1187
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,408
and I am staring at
one of them right now.
1188
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,967
Oh, no. No touching. No.
1189
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,288
Curious to know
who the other one is.
1190
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,681
It's Benedict Cumberbatch,
and you.
1191
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:33,608
Huh. I did not peg you
for a "Cumbersnatch."
1192
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,604
That's me. Cumbersnatch.
1193
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:37,045
You seem like
a real Cumbersnatch.
1194
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:38,929
Well, thank you so,
so much.
1195
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,081
You're welcome. Oh...
1196
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,250
Thank you.
Great encounter.
1197
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,767
It's always fun. And I
think I'm done with you.
1198
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:49,641
Absolutely. And, madam,
it was an honor.
1199
00:52:49,720 --> 00:52:51,802
Off you go!
And here I am, okay.
1200
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:54,921
MICHELLE: Strange girl.
1201
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,606
0K3)'-
1202
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:02,166
Claire, if this company is going
to work, I need you full time.
1203
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:03,805
I can't have you here.
1204
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,209
Are you in or are you out?
1205
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,203
I can'tjust leave myjob!
1206
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,328
I mean, I have to
have a steady income.
1207
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:11,765
I have Rachel
to think about.
1208
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,241
No,no,no.
This is for Rachel. Okay?
1209
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,926
If this works out the way I
know it's going to work out,
1210
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,604
it's gonna set
you two up for life.
1211
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:20,281
We're already
making enough money
1212
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,044
to pay your rent
and all your bills,
1213
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,761
and I'm just about to put a very big
fish on the hook as our investor.
1214
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,001
This is what I do.
1215
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,650
Okay? You know that.
1216
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,010
You have to trust me.
1217
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,044
I do hate this job.
1218
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,523
I mean, it's a terrible job.
1219
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:39,328
My God. I mean,
look at him.
1220
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,286
He's slumped over, asleep.
I hope he's asleep.
1221
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,044
You don't want
to be that guy.
1222
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,006
What do you say?
1223
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:48,801
0K3)'-
1224
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,723
Yes. I'm all in.
1225
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,404
Dana, I quit.
1226
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,602
I'm gonna start my
own business, okay?
1227
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,842
I have my own business.
Yes, she does.
1228
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:58,769
Guys, it was lovely here.
1229
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,360
Not really, but I hope you
all have a wonderful day.
1230
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,647
Mike, would you still
like to go on that date?
1231
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:04,841
Uh, yes, I would.
1232
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,321
I'm free tomorrow at 7:30.
Bring your A-game.
1233
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,646
Tracy? Wake up! I'm out!
1234
00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:12,404
MICHELLE: Wake it up, Tracy!
1235
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:13,527
No.
No.
1236
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:14,806
No, thank you.
I'm so...
1237
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,128
Ooh. No.
I'm very flattered.
1238
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,969
Seems like a good night for
sexual activity, Claire.
1239
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:23,161
(CHUCKLES)
1240
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,329
How long has it been since
you've had sexual activity?
1241
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:31,211
Stop yelling "sexual activity."
'Cause Rachel might hear you.
1242
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,490
You know, you're
the one that's yelling
1243
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,250
"sexual activity"
out in the hallway.
1244
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,284
Just answer
the question, Claire.
1245
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:39,521
I don't know.
1246
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,364
If I had to guess,
1247
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,604
maybe four, five,
six years?
1248
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,891
What? Oh, my God.
Did you take a vow?
1249
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,201
It's very hard to
find a good sitter.
1250
00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:52,802
Okay. We'll go
with that. ljust...
1251
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:54,689
I'm gonna say, it
probably doesn't help
1252
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,491
that you're dressed like
you grocery-shop at a CVS.
1253
00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,121
What?
1254
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:00,565
I love this sweater.
1255
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,245
I don't know
why you would.
1256
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:04,408
This sweater goes with everything.
It's a neutral.
1257
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,888
It doesn't go with you or
your skin, or your face.
1258
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:10,805
That sweater is the equivalent
of a sandwich board
1259
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:12,644
that just says,
"I give up."
1260
00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:15,326
And then in the back, it says,
"I never started tryin'."
1261
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:17,724
It somewhat
looks like you have
1262
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:22,601
sewn together two very long, sad
tube socks and then filled each end
1263
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,970
with wet sand and rocks.
1264
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,451
What are you
talking about?
1265
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,170
Itjust looks like
two basset hounds
1266
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:30,930
may have cried
themselves to death
1267
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,445
in your sweater.
1268
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,921
I like it.
I think this looks great.
1269
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:36,681
Can I...
(GASPS)
1270
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:38,091
Michelle!
Well...
1271
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:39,286
You are...
I had to check.
1272
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,600
I didn't know
what was in there.
1273
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:42,808
You're making me feel very
insecure right before my date.
1274
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:43,961
Don't!
1275
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,327
If your breasts
could speak right now,
1276
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,607
I think they'd be
saying, "Claire,
1277
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,888
"please don't zip me
up in yourjeans."
1278
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,331
That is... You're
gonna zip a nipple.
1279
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:53,606
That's not what
they'd say.
1280
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,603
May I adjust your strap?
1281
00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:57,688
'Cause I'm trying to help you, Claire.
(SIGHS)
1282
00:55:57,760 --> 00:55:59,649
You say, "Be more helpful."
And I'm trying to be helpful.
1283
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:00,841
You can tighten
the strap.
1284
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:02,644
Okay. What...
1285
00:56:02,720 --> 00:56:04,370
Just a little,
'cause I want it...
1286
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:05,646
What is that toggle?
1287
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:07,931
Oh, it's a nursing bra.
1288
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:10,767
Oh, my God. Are you
still nursing Rachel?
1289
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:14,242
No, it's from when she was a baby.
But it's very comfortable.
1290
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,442
That's not
comfortable to see.
1291
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:17,925
Now, let me see this.
1292
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,480
It's very often a fit issue.
(EXHALES)
1293
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:22,360
Why do these
have so much pull?
1294
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:23,726
All right, well...
(GASPS)
1295
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:26,565
Claire! It's
like Geppetto!
1296
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,881
Look at that. Look at this.
It's like, "Horses, horses."
1297
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:30,041
It's like I'm...
Oh, my God.
1298
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:31,724
Okay, Okay, okay,
okay,okay!
1299
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,404
It feels good. I need
to be comfortable.
1300
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:35,403
It doesn't feel
good to my eyes.
1301
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,130
Can I just put 'em where
they're supposed to be?
1302
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,407
And I want you to be able
to see the difference.
1303
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,723
You got "Happy girl",
and then, uh-oh.
1304
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:44,166
They just drop out.
1305
00:56:44,720 --> 00:56:46,961
And I should not be
able to separate...
1306
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:48,121
Okay. All right.
They're heavier, but...
1307
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,202
So how do you like it when I just
get in there and bang around?
1308
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:51,845
I love it.
Why is there not...
1309
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:53,201
Oh, there's no give.
1310
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:55,487
Look at that.
I can't even feel that.
1311
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:56,641
That's when
you know...
1312
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,561
I don't feel it, okay?
100% silicone.
1313
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:04,484
And not the kind that's supposed
to ever be inside the body.
1314
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,204
(SNORTING) I know.
They're fantastic.
1315
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,361
That's something else.
1316
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:08,487
Might feel that.
1317
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:09,721
That's my nipple.
1318
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:12,522
Yeah, they're up here, where
they should be. Oh, my God.
1319
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:14,090
No, see, you need
to bring 'em down.
1320
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:15,770
No! They can't,
anyway, no.
1321
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,888
That's what you need to do.
They're too high, Michelle.
1322
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,331
There's a structure. Stop. No.
1323
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:20,526
If we were...
You need to...
1324
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:22,449
Look, just take 'em a little bit lower.
Oh, my God.
1325
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:23,681
How about that?
I paid a fortune for these.
1326
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:24,966
No, I'm gonna bring 'em...
I'm keepin' 'em up!
1327
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:26,041
Just gonna push
'em right down.
1328
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,121
I'm trying to
help you not...
1329
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:28,770
What're you guys doing?
1330
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:30,246
Hey, there!
1331
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,563
We're just... There was a...
Probably a...
1332
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:34,721
I was...
Bugs.
1333
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:38,850
We were jostling each
other's bosoms like...
1334
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:40,201
Gals do.
1335
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:41,805
No, we weren't.
1336
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,884
I was just trying to help your mom
here get ready for her big date.
1337
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,480
I'm a little nervous. She's
a little bit nervous.
1338
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,404
Always gotta stretch your
boobs when you're nervous.
1339
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:52,687
RACHEL: You should change.
1340
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,202
That's your
TV-watching sweater.
1341
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,006
Thank you.
1342
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,808
Okay. Thank you for that.
1343
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:01,609
Okay, well, we're
gonna leave you to it.
1344
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,091
You can treat yourself
to a little underwire
1345
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,242
and something that doesn't
look like you sell ceramics.
1346
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,288
Let's go watch a movie.
I'm babysitting.
1347
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,408
Have you seen Texas
Chainsaw Massacre? No.
1348
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:11,249
I'm kidding!
I'm not kidding.
1349
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,282
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
1350
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:20,206
(SIGHS)
1351
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,246
Hi.
1352
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,643
Hi. Oh, my God.
You look gorgeous.
1353
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,848
I'm wearing a bra,
a new bra. It's not new.
1354
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:32,843
It's old. I just haven't
worn it in a while.
1355
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:35,924
Hey, you know what, I went with
an old bra tonight, too, so...
1356
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:37,961
Let's get a table.
1357
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,241
Absolutely.
1358
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:44,082
I wanted to tell you earlier
actually, on a serious note.
1359
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:47,087
When you walked out the
other day from work,
1360
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:49,003
quite dramatically,
I might add,
1361
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:50,445
six other people quit.
1362
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:52,689
What? Mmm-hmm. They
just walked out.
1363
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:54,489
Oh, my God.
I know, right?
1364
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:55,806
I started a chain reaction.
1365
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,166
You started
a huge chain reaction.
1366
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:58,446
Six people walked out
1367
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:00,090
and then immediately three
people walked back inside.
1368
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,446
I think they were
outside smoking.
1369
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,330
But it was like you
were a cult leader.
1370
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,044
It was like a tremendous
show of support.
1371
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:07,646
It was, like,
very inspiring.
1372
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,042
Really?
Yeah, really.
1373
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:11,845
Do you find that
hard to believe?
1374
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:14,691
That I'm tremendously inspiring?
Yeah.
1375
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,205
Yeah, a bit.
Really?
1376
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:17,890
Well, let me tell
you something, lady.
1377
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,327
You are more than
a little inspiring.
1378
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,081
I have been talking
ad nauseam here.
1379
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:27,407
Can you, uh, grab
the mic for a sec?
1380
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,289
Well, I, um...
1381
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:33,011
I got knocked up in
grad school by my TA.
1382
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:34,286
When he found
out I was pregnant,
1383
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,089
he pretended like we
didn't know each other.
1384
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,969
What?
Then gave me a
1385
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:39,405
What?
Yeah, nice surprise.
1386
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:40,527
Yeah.
1387
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:42,409
But I got a great
kid out of it.
1388
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:43,921
I bet you're a great mom.
1389
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,201
L tTY-
1390
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,931
I mean, unless she is currently
unsupervised. Then you're a horrible morn.
1391
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,764
No, she's with Michelle.
1392
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:51,444
She's with Michelle?
Yes.
1393
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:53,124
She's your felon babysitter.
1394
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,361
(LAUGHING)
on! on, my God!
1395
00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:58,522
Rachel,
it's the goriest part!
1396
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:00,807
It's the goriest part.
You're missing it!
1397
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:04,202
Oh, my God. He's killing
her with a chainsaw.
1398
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:05,406
Oh.
1399
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:07,922
I have a felon
watching my child.
1400
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:09,201
That just occurred
to you, didn't it?
1401
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:10,520
Yes, it did.
Yeah.
1402
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,489
It's good thing I'm here.
Let's have some more wine.
1403
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,081
Absolutely, yeah.
Hey, excuse me.
1404
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,204
Hi. Do you think maybe we could
get two more glasses of the...
1405
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,525
No. Hold on.
1406
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:23,288
Bring us a bottle of
whatever the lady would like
1407
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,125
in the twenty-five to
twenty-eight dollar range.
1408
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:29,440
Sure, I'll send somebody to Walgreens
to get you something nice.
1409
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:31,961
Cool. You guys do that?
What's with that?
1410
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:33,326
(LAUGHING)
Oh, my God!
1411
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:36,202
Is that like a really
cheap bottle of wine?
1412
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,204
IDA: You got a lot of balls
showing up here, Darnell.
1413
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:46,123
Listen, Ida, I know you're still
mad at me, and I don't blame you.
1414
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:48,208
I shouldn't have cut you
out of that Emerson deal.
1415
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,169
But if it makes it
any better,
1416
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,481
I made a blinding amount
of money on that deal.
1417
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,446
You know the first time I saw you?
Twenty-three years old.
1418
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:00,522
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
I knew right away,
1419
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:02,803
you were a tough,
money-hungry,
1420
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:05,884
self-serving,
see-you-next-Tuesday gal
1421
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:07,325
just like me.
1422
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:11,610
And that's why I decided to mentor you.
Just let you get too close.
1423
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,721
I started to think
of you as family.
1424
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,761
Well, families are
for suckers, right?
1425
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:20,766
That's for sure.
1426
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:23,683
What do you
want, Michelle?
1427
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,364
I need an investor.
1428
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,729
Oh, for your little
brownie venture?
1429
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,329
How do you even
know about that?
1430
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,968
Because I'm Ida Marquette.
I know everything.
1431
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:35,601
Here.
1432
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:37,966
Come on, Ida.
1433
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:40,202
I'm sure you got quite an overhead
on this glue factory here.
1434
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,442
Do you want in or not?
You know,
1435
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:46,362
I once made love
on a pool table
1436
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,442
in Hot Coffee,
Mississippi
1437
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:51,444
with six members of the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
1438
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:53,921
Are you stroking out?
1439
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:55,286
What does this
have to do with
1440
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,328
what we're talking
about right now?
1441
01:01:57,520 --> 01:02:00,729
The point is, Darnell, I have
very few regrets in my life.
1442
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:04,609
But you . ..
You were my best protégée.
1443
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:06,681
Tell you what.
1444
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:10,890
I'll back you, if this checks out.
Just for old times' sake.
1445
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:12,207
0K3)'-
1446
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:13,805
If you'll
excuse me, Shawshank,
1447
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,202
I'm late for
my morning ride.
1448
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:17,441
IDA: Yes!
1449
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:19,561
0K3)'-
1450
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:21,324
You better make me
a shitload of money.
1451
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:22,890
Away, Butters!
1452
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:24,491
(HORSE WHINNYING)
1453
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:30,410
MICHELLE: Come on!
Eat up, ladies.
1454
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:31,891
This is a celebratory dinner.
1455
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:33,610
We got our investor.
1456
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:35,409
Okay. Here we go.
1457
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:38,846
Hoo-hoo-hoo.
1458
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:40,041
Look at this!
1459
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:41,521
What is this?
1460
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,683
Well, I feel it's time you
become more adventurous.
1461
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:49,200
(CHUCKUNG)
1462
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,204
RACHEL: Thank God! Pizza!
1463
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:53,204
I know you
don't like sushi.
1464
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:55,169
Thank you, Michelle!
I'm starving.
1465
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:57,562
And fugu for the lady.
1466
01:02:57,960 --> 01:02:59,962
MICHELLE: Thank you, Ping.
Fugu?
1467
01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:01,606
(EXHALES)
1468
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,726
The infamous pufferfish.
1469
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:08,925
When prepared incorrectly,
itcanleadto paralysis or even death.
1470
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:10,206
But when it is
prepared correctly,
1471
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:13,250
it is like a volcano
erupting in my mouth.
1472
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:14,924
Let's hope for
the second. (SLURPING)
1473
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:17,041
(CHUCKLES)
1474
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,009
(MICHELLE MOANING)
1475
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:22,121
Oh, this is nice.
Get in here, guys.
1476
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:23,611
I don't wanna
hog it all.
1477
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,487
Michelle, are you all right?
1478
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:31,806
When it's this perfect, it takes
you to the brink of paralysis.
1479
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:34,724
And then, at the last minute,
itjust lets you go.
1480
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,368
Three, two...
1481
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:39,206
Uh-oh.
1482
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:40,811
(MICHELLE GROANING)
1483
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:43,446
Michelle?
1484
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:53,486
MICHELLE: Whoo.
That's a very risky dish.
1485
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:55,443
Oh, God.
How long was I out?
1486
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,130
Are you serious?
Like 10 seconds.
1487
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:58,647
Yeah.
1488
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:00,530
It's a personal best.
1489
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:02,251
I was thinking
about having more.
1490
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,368
CLAIRE: All right, I think
everybody's done with the fug...
1491
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,522
I'm gonna tea it out,
just for a second. Yeah.
1492
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:07,965
I made you something.
1493
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:09,087
What?
1494
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,561
I mean, I thought I
should give it to you now
1495
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:15,440
'cause you keep eating
things that almost kill you.
1496
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:16,920
(MICHELLE CHUCKLING)
1497
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:18,924
I made the frame
atschooL
1498
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,808
It's a nice frame, Rachel.
You did a good job.
1499
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:29,201
Thanks.
1500
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:33,171
When I look at the picture, I just
think we're like a weird family.
1501
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:37,967
Okay. Ah.
1502
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:42,288
Family? That's
a little heavy-handed.
1503
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:46,085
I think, you know,
I'm not much into labeling.
1504
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,808
You say "family",
and we don't look alike.
1505
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:52,521
I mean, I'm not even sure
that you two look alike.
1506
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:55,524
We'll have to do a blood
test on you for that.
1507
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:59,884
You know, it's funny, looking at
this, I think what day is this?
1508
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:04,130
'Cause I'm pretty
sure I have a...
1509
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,490
I have a previously
scheduled thing.
1510
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:09,483
I don't know what
I was... You know.
1511
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:12,171
Do what you do.
I'm gonna do what I do.
1512
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:13,691
I'll take care of
the check.
1513
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:16,121
I just...
1514
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:20,120
What was that about?
1515
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:24,569
(SIGHS) I don't know,
sweetie. I don't know.
1516
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,444
Hi! Sorry, baby. Michelle was
supposed to pick you up.
1517
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:38,411
I know. I texted her
like 500,000 times.
1518
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:49,245
All of her
stuff is gone.
1519
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:59,046
"Thank you for letting me stay
in your home. Sincerely, MD.
1520
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:01,487
"P.S. lwon't
miss your couch."
1521
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:02,965
That's impersonal.
1522
01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:04,886
A bit.
1523
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:07,767
I shouldn't have given
her that picture of us.
1524
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:09,683
Sweetie, she
loved your picture.
1525
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:14,243
No, come on. She left because
it was her time to leave.
1526
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:16,243
Michelle is a redhead
and a Scorpio.
1527
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:18,641
It's a very
impulsive combo.
1528
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,570
These little bites of goodness
are puttin' kids in college...
1529
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:25,641
Yes.
1530
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:28,326
...are giving young women in
this country a business plan
1531
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,846
and the thought in their
head of like, "Yes, I can."
1532
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:32,046
ls she picking up?
1533
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:36,603
And if you buy four sets, you get
this adorable wagon. (CLEARS THROAT)
1534
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:38,961
No. It's her voicemail.
1535
01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:50,964
I got 'em! I got 'em!
1536
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:00,041
(INHALES DEEPLY)
1537
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:03,131
These are going
to be huge.
1538
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,447
How does she
do it? I want in.
1539
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,161
More milk.
1540
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:15,971
No, I'm feeling reckless. I
want to do it myself this time.
1541
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,201
Ah.
1542
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:21,520
Good job.
1543
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:26,204
CLAIRE: It's just, a little common
courtesy would be nice, you know?
1544
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:27,805
If she ever returned
my calls,
1545
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:30,451
I would know about these press
days in the middle of nowhere.
1546
01:07:30,520 --> 01:07:31,601
Mom, look!
1547
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:34,364
RENAULT:
Congratulations, Claire.
1548
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:39,968
Honey, why don't you,
um, go on inside,
1549
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:42,162
just look both ways
before you cross, okay?
1550
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:43,241
0K3)'-
1551
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:47,211
What're you doing here?
1552
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,890
Looks like you and Michelle have built
yourself quite a little empire.
1553
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:54,641
What do you want?
1554
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:58,167
I want to take what
Michelle Darnell has built.
1555
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,846
I want her to realize
that I have taken it away.
1556
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:04,481
And when she realizes it, when that
moment of realization crosses her face,
1557
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,568
and she realizes that I
have realized it as well...
1558
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:07,607
I've lost my
train of thought.
1559
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:08,727
Yeah, I'm not following.
1560
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,370
I want the fucking
company, Claire.
1561
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,205
(INHALES DEEPLY)
It's only a matter of time
1562
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:15,442
before Michelle Darnell
screws you over.
1563
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:16,601
MICHELLE: So get in there.
1564
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:18,682
I see you eyein'
those brownies.
1565
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:20,000
Let's have some bites.
Go ahead.
1566
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:21,081
They're not gonna
bite you.
1567
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:22,565
You're gonna bite
them. (CHUCKLES)
1568
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:23,846
Let's get
a shot of those.
1569
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:41,043
Huh, pretty good
stuff, right?
1570
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:49,201
Oh, my God.
1571
01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:50,566
MICHELLE: Oh, amazing!
1572
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,691
This is Chrystal. It's one
of the Darnell originals.
1573
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:55,444
She's a giant. Huh?
1574
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:57,363
I mean, I'm not a doctor,
but I have eyes.
1575
01:08:57,440 --> 01:08:59,283
(CHUCKLES) Isn't that fun?
Come on with me.
1576
01:08:59,360 --> 01:09:01,249
I got a surprise for all
of you guys... (SIGHS)
1577
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:03,249
I think you're gonna
be very excited about.
1578
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:06,403
I'd like to present the new
Darnell Darlings' mascot!
1579
01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:07,527
Hit it!
1580
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:11,087
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) Take some
snaps of this. I know you want to.
1581
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:12,446
MICHELLE: It's a phoenix.
1582
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:13,487
Michelle.
1583
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,369
You get in there.
I know you're not shy.
1584
01:09:15,440 --> 01:09:16,487
What is this?
1585
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,847
It's a phoenix, Claire.
It's my totem animal.
1586
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:24,130
Okay. So you leased a commercial
kitchen without telling me?
1587
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:26,851
Yes. I'm kind of waiting for
a, "Thank you, Michelle!"
1588
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:29,161
Wow, um. I'm having a hard
time with the "thank you"
1589
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:32,926
because you also hired all of these
people without consulting me.
1590
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:36,243
I do know that you've been
complaining pretty consistently
1591
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,766
about having to do all the baking
and doing it at your house.
1592
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:39,887
I fixed all that for ya.
1593
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:41,086
And you're more
mad than ever.
1594
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:42,491
I don't get it, Claire.
You didn't...
1595
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,086
Michelle, you didn't consult
me on any of this, okay?
1596
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:46,440
I see a bunch of press.
1597
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:48,966
One of us, not you,
got the press here.
1598
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:50,002
Right. Okay.
1599
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:51,610
Well, maybe they
should know that
1600
01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:53,210
the new and
improved Michelle Darnell
1601
01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:56,409
is just as self-centered and egotistical
as the old Michelle Darnell.
1602
01:09:56,520 --> 01:09:58,363
Really? Do you wanna do this?
Sure!
1603
01:09:58,480 --> 01:09:59,686
'Cause I would love to do this.
Great.
1604
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:00,807
You follow me.
1605
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:02,450
I will follow you,
from the front.
1606
01:10:02,480 --> 01:10:04,608
No, not from the front.
From the back! Yes!
1607
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:06,929
Don't put your
arm in front of me!
1608
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,240
You can't tell
me what to do!
1609
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:09,970
You're not my
boss anymore!
1610
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:11,724
We are partners, 50-50,
1611
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:13,802
and you can't make decisions
without telling me!
1612
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:15,889
We are not
partners, Claire!
1613
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:17,291
lam a successful
businesswoman.
1614
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:20,688
You are a lonely woman who can
make a halfway decent brownie!
1615
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,762
And we all have our little
secrets, Claire. Right?
1616
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:25,605
You double-crossing,
hand-holding, sneaky little rat!
1617
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:26,886
What are you
talking about?
1618
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:28,564
God, I can't believe
I helped you!
1619
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,847
I took you in
off the street, okay?
1620
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:32,160
When no one else would.
1621
01:10:32,240 --> 01:10:34,049
You are such a cliché.
1622
01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:35,531
Okay? You're getting
close to people
1623
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:37,125
so now you have
to push them away.
1624
01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:39,407
Okay, don't analyze
me, Dr. Phil!
1625
01:10:39,480 --> 01:10:41,209
Why're you guys
doing this?
1626
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:43,490
Rachel, you know what,
just go inside, honey.
1627
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,245
No!No!Youdo not tell my
daughter what to do.
1628
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,209
And you know what? Don't
ever speak to her again.
1629
01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:50,089
Mom, why would
you say that?
1630
01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:57,007
It's fine, Rachel, just...
Girls, go inside! Now!
1631
01:10:59,080 --> 01:11:00,764
You know what?
I don't need this.
1632
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:02,126
I don't need that.
1633
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:03,681
I don't need any of it.
1634
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,401
Let's see how far your
brownie recipe takes you.
1635
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:09,806
I'm cutting you
loose and sailin' off!
1636
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:12,003
I don't need you two
weighing me down!
1637
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:14,521
Rachel!
1638
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:15,641
Rachel?
1639
01:11:32,520 --> 01:11:35,285
You're the only one that's
gonna take care ofyou.
1640
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:36,801
The only one.
1641
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:41,008
STEPHAN: Excuse me, you
can'tjust go in there!
1642
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:42,206
Watch me.
1643
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:44,451
Hi, Ronald!
1644
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:47,366
Ooh, I like your
new bitches.
1645
01:11:47,440 --> 01:11:49,488
I saw you sniffing
around my bakery.
1646
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:51,688
You looking to get into
the brownie business?
1647
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,491
Why? Are you looking
to sell your business?
1648
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:55,561
Why not?
1649
01:11:56,040 --> 01:11:59,328
I have no personal stakes in it.
It's just business to me.
1650
01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:01,528
And you've always liked
collecting my things.
1651
01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:03,246
(INHALES DEEPLY)
1652
01:12:05,880 --> 01:12:06,881
(LOW GRUNT)
1653
01:12:09,840 --> 01:12:12,320
Okay. And since this one's
coconut macadamia,
1654
01:12:12,400 --> 01:12:14,289
if you have a nut allergy, I
don't want you anywhere near...
1655
01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:15,850
When's Michelle
coming back?
1656
01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:17,160
I don't know, Chrystal.
1657
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:18,526
She's like our leader.
1658
01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:20,329
My mom's gonna
run this place.
1659
01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:22,807
Yes, lwill be
running the business
1660
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:26,051
until Michelle
comes back, or...
1661
01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:28,088
STEPHAN: Knock, knock.
Hi, it's Stephan!
1662
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:33,089
Hi! I have a message from the new
owner of Darnell's Darlings,
1663
01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:34,605
Mr. Renault.
1664
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:36,291
Uh, sorry, I think
there's a mistake.
1665
01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:37,885
I'm one of
the owners here.
1666
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:40,528
This is an eviction notice.
1667
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:44,880
She sold us out?
1668
01:12:45,720 --> 01:12:46,960
How could she do that?
1669
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:48,451
Oh, shejust did it.
1670
01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:50,045
Okay, let's kick
this guy's ass!
1671
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:51,201
Hey, shit brains!
1672
01:12:51,280 --> 01:12:52,361
Chrystal!
1673
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:53,885
Protect me. Protect me.
1674
01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:56,201
This is not cowardice.
She's very tall!
1675
01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:02,122
Really wish you'd
let me kick his ass.
1676
01:13:13,760 --> 01:13:17,003
You know what? It was a
good business decision.
1677
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:21,129
Don't start feelin'
bad about good...
1678
01:13:22,720 --> 01:13:23,721
(SIGHS)
1679
01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:25,325
Good decisions.
1680
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,080
Why would Michelle
do that to us?
1681
01:13:29,640 --> 01:13:31,369
I just don't get it.
1682
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:33,725
(SOBBING)
1683
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:35,161
(CLAIRE SIGHS)
1684
01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:40,367
Well, you know, sweetie,
Michelle has gotalotofbaggage.
1685
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:44,204
She's an asshole.
1686
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:46,445
Language.
1687
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:47,521
Sorry.
1688
01:13:49,080 --> 01:13:52,562
But you're right.
She is an asshole.
1689
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:58,611
Darnell, you are
a real asshole.
1690
01:14:11,720 --> 01:14:12,801
(GRUNTS)
1691
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:15,406
Piece of shit.
1692
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:39,605
(SNIFFLES)
1693
01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:47,080
After the match I told Kent,
"I'd put my family fortune
1694
01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:48,446
"up against anybody's."
1695
01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:49,806
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1696
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:51,763
This should really
just take a minute.
1697
01:14:51,880 --> 01:14:54,167
Normally, I wouldn't
just drop in.
1698
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,561
Oh... Oh, sorry.
1699
01:14:57,080 --> 01:14:59,242
Michelle, what a surprise.
1700
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,448
Family, this is
Michelle Darnell.
1701
01:15:02,440 --> 01:15:03,851
She's making me
a bunch of money.
1702
01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:05,410
(ALL LAUGHING)
1703
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:07,561
Why don't you join us?
1704
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:12,130
No, no, actually, lwas just hoping
to talk to you for a minute.
1705
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:14,607
Oh, of course.
1706
01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:16,167
No hurry, Mother.
1707
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,367
Okay, I got it.
1708
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:27,646
Continue eating that delicious spring
lamb you heard screaming this morning.
1709
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:30,567
(SIGHS)
1710
01:15:30,640 --> 01:15:32,961
I sold the company
to Renault last night.
1711
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,488
Or Ronald or whatever
name he's going by now.
1712
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:39,166
Whoa, sweet baby Jesus.
Yeah.
1713
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:40,924
You know, we went
to get sushi once
1714
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:43,128
and he tried to speak
Japanese to the waitress.
1715
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,851
I swear, some of the words
were Spanish.
1716
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:47,725
But, you know,
he's gonna sell it off.
1717
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,608
Whew, I'm gonna
make a mint.
1718
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,170
Yeah, you probably will.
1719
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:56,008
And I did itjust like
you taught me.
1720
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:59,210
I took nothing, made it
into something
1721
01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:01,726
and didn't let anybody
weigh me down,
1722
01:16:01,800 --> 01:16:03,802
and got out of there
when the money was right.
1723
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:06,167
Perfect, kill or be killed.
1724
01:16:06,480 --> 01:16:07,891
Take that money and run.
1725
01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:11,089
You know, I kinda...
1726
01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:13,724
I think I kinda
lost my friend
1727
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:16,489
and hurt a bunch
of kids in the process.
1728
01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:19,245
Who the fuck cares? We're
gonna make a shit load.
1729
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:21,322
We're gonna make
a million shit loads.
1730
01:16:21,840 --> 01:16:23,171
(LAUGHING IN DISTANCE)
1731
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:27,845
I dunno what I'm doing. I'm keeping
you from dinner with your family.
1732
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:29,843
Come on, that's not
my family.
1733
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:34,767
Those are actors. I hire actors every
once in a while to play my family.
1734
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,330
My family is bonkers.
1735
01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:37,925
All I want is money.
1736
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:40,162
Money, money, money.
Ida "Money" Marquette.
1737
01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:43,325
Grandpa Joe... Joe.
1738
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:44,801
Psst, Joe!
1739
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:46,286
You have a fake family.
1740
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:49,851
I've been taking advice
from you for 20 years.
1741
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:54,403
And you hire and spend
the night with a fake family.
1742
01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:56,523
I try to get better
actors, but ljust...
1743
01:16:56,600 --> 01:16:59,490
Bennett is unresponsive. The
actor who plays Grandpa Joe.
1744
01:16:59,760 --> 01:17:01,410
He's always
playing possum.
1745
01:17:01,480 --> 01:17:03,562
This man needs
medical attention, stat!
1746
01:17:04,160 --> 01:17:06,367
Is that a line
from one of your soaps?
1747
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:09,641
Yes.
1748
01:17:11,280 --> 01:17:14,170
Joe? Oh, crap.
1749
01:17:14,320 --> 01:17:15,321
(YELLS) Joe!
1750
01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:17,211
He's not getting
paid for this.
1751
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:18,806
Holy shit.
1752
01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:20,121
JOel
1753
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:27,601
CLAIRE: I know
what I'm gonna do.
1754
01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:29,729
I'm gonna sue the pants off her.
Oh...
1755
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:32,531
No, I'm not because she'll
throw too many lawyers at me
1756
01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:34,682
and she's
a shark in court.
1757
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:37,047
Yeah. This is a test.
1758
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:39,328
You want me to kill her
with this bagel knife.
1759
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:40,686
And l'll do it.
(CHUCKLES)
1760
01:17:40,800 --> 01:17:43,246
To pledge my allegiance to
you, milady, I'll do it.
1761
01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:44,845
No. Thank you.
1762
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:47,445
Ooh, you guys
are kissing.
1763
01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:50,241
Heya, Rachel! Hi. How are you?
Hi.
1764
01:17:50,320 --> 01:17:52,322
Did you sleep over?
CLAIRE: Oh, God, no.
1765
01:17:52,480 --> 01:17:53,925
What, have
a sleepover here? Ew.
1766
01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:56,122
No, he didn't. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Yuck!
No, that would be terrible.
1767
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:57,247
I don't know
about "yuck".
1768
01:17:57,400 --> 01:17:58,401
I don't mean "yuck."
I meant...
1769
01:17:58,520 --> 01:18:00,249
CLAIRE: Don't know if it'll...
MIKE: I mean...
1770
01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:02,169
It could be nice.
Might be nice.
1771
01:18:02,320 --> 01:18:04,368
It's nice for people to spend the night.
We don't know yet.
1772
01:18:04,440 --> 01:18:06,329
We don't know yet.
We don't know yet.
1773
01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:09,167
Would you please grab
some more garbage bags?
1774
01:18:09,240 --> 01:18:10,730
We have a
lot of trash.
1775
01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:11,926
Yeah.
1776
01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:13,730
Why did I make
that so weird?
1777
01:18:13,800 --> 01:18:14,961
It's fine.
Didn't have to.
1778
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:16,485
Didn't have to make it that weird.
(GASPS)
1779
01:18:17,240 --> 01:18:19,527
Holy shit!
CLAIRE: Language!
1780
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:22,491
Holy shit!
1781
01:18:22,640 --> 01:18:23,880
Uh...
1782
01:18:24,480 --> 01:18:27,404
This is all seeming
probably so much
1783
01:18:27,520 --> 01:18:30,410
stranger than
what I had intended.
1784
01:18:30,480 --> 01:18:33,324
I'm sorry to
startle you, Rachel.
1785
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:35,528
What are you
doing in my closet?
1786
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:38,126
Well, uh, to give
you the whole...
1787
01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:40,931
I thought I have
a great idea
1788
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:44,083
to surprise you
with an apology,
1789
01:18:44,160 --> 01:18:46,606
and my sincere
"I'm sorry."
1790
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:50,048
Sol let myself in,
in the middle of the night.
1791
01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:52,481
So once I was actually
waiting here in the dark,
1792
01:18:52,560 --> 01:18:55,166
and you were getting up for the
morning, I thought, "Uh-oh.
1793
01:18:55,240 --> 01:18:57,846
"This could seem kind of
threatening and menacing."
1794
01:18:57,960 --> 01:18:59,644
And I panicked
a little bit
1795
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:02,690
and just darted
into the closet.
1796
01:19:03,280 --> 01:19:07,365
So, surprise! I'm sorry.
1797
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:10,922
And, dang it, I shouldn't
have sold that company.
1798
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:13,969
I think we're done.
Okay, well...
1799
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:17,487
You know... So thank you, I
guess, for breaking into my home.
1800
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:18,971
I said I was sorry.
1801
01:19:19,040 --> 01:19:21,088
Great.
We heard you. Okay.
1802
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:23,003
I apologized.
I heard you.
1803
01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:24,731
There's the door.
1804
01:19:29,240 --> 01:19:30,571
You sold us out.
1805
01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:32,686
Yeah, Idid.
1806
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:37,290
I sold you out. And I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry.
1807
01:19:37,360 --> 01:19:42,002
And I'm hoping, somehow,
you can forgive me.
1808
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:43,730
And I just wanna
throw it out there
1809
01:19:43,840 --> 01:19:47,162
that I have completely
forgiven you, Claire,
1810
01:19:47,240 --> 01:19:51,006
for trying to sell me out
first with Renault so...
1811
01:19:51,760 --> 01:19:53,728
What are you
talking about?
1812
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:54,847
I saw you.
1813
01:19:55,320 --> 01:19:59,166
Okay? I saw you and Ronald
outside the bakery.
1814
01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:00,605
He was smelling
yourhand
1815
01:20:00,640 --> 01:20:03,041
and I know what that means, okay?
(SCOFFS)
1816
01:20:03,160 --> 01:20:06,209
I mean, he has smelled
many of my parts,
1817
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:10,562
and I have smelled
many of his parts.
1818
01:20:10,920 --> 01:20:13,764
I was telling Renault
that I'm not willing
1819
01:20:13,920 --> 01:20:16,730
to sell him a single,
solitary brownie,
1820
01:20:16,800 --> 01:20:18,768
let alone my
entire company.
1821
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:20,771
(STAMMERING)
1822
01:20:20,920 --> 01:20:22,888
That's a mix-up, huh?
1823
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:27,768
Michelle, I would never in a million
years do that to you, okay?
1824
01:20:27,840 --> 01:20:30,923
You know... I mean, God.
What goes on in your brain?
1825
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,126
I don't know.
1826
01:20:32,440 --> 01:20:35,842
I mean,
I don't have a lot of,
1827
01:20:37,440 --> 01:20:41,843
you know, experience
or a reference point for...
1828
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:45,049
I didn't have a family,
or a mom, or a dad.
1829
01:20:45,120 --> 01:20:49,364
And I totally get it
if you never talk to me again.
1830
01:20:49,760 --> 01:20:52,491
So I don't want you
to feel bad about that.
1831
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:55,643
I just wanted you to know that I
think you're very nice people.
1832
01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:58,322
Great people, actually.
1833
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:02,405
You're the closest thing
to a family I've ever had.
1834
01:21:02,480 --> 01:21:07,281
And I'm real sorry
I screwed that up.
1835
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:11,604
I'm gonna miss you, Michelle.
1836
01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:14,881
MIKE: Should I go?
1837
01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:18,401
I think I should go.
1838
01:21:18,480 --> 01:21:19,766
Oh, my God. It's an
awkward time for me
1839
01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:21,524
to just be, like, creeping
around in the background.
1840
01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:23,489
I had no idea you
were still here.
1841
01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:25,204
Should I go, or should I...
No, you're fine.
1842
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:26,725
I do not like
what you did.
1843
01:21:27,440 --> 01:21:31,286
I do not like it!
And I do not like it.
1844
01:21:31,880 --> 01:21:34,042
She really
doesn't like it, guys.
1845
01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:36,921
You know, I...
1846
01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:42,202
If anyone's curious, I do
think I know how to fix this.
1847
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:45,964
I signed that contract with
Renault late Friday night.
1848
01:21:46,040 --> 01:21:49,044
I wanna remind you I was
wounded, I was a little tipsy.
1849
01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:50,690
CLAIRE: Oh, God.
Okay.
1850
01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:54,403
And it's Sunday. No one
will be in his offices.
1851
01:21:54,480 --> 01:21:56,881
Plus, he can't file for a
corporate change of ownership
1852
01:21:56,960 --> 01:21:58,849
until tomorrow morning.
1853
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:00,286
I can get in there tonight,
1854
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:03,489
I can get that contract, and
I can take our company back.
1855
01:22:03,720 --> 01:22:05,165
Wait, what do you
mean "get the contract"?
1856
01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:07,607
He must have scanned and emailed
it a hundred times by now.
1857
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:10,331
No, no, no. Anybody else,
yes, but not him.
1858
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:13,609
Ronald is completely paranoid
about being hacked. Okay?
1859
01:22:13,680 --> 01:22:18,208
He has no cell phones, no emails.
He leaves no digital trail.
1860
01:22:18,280 --> 01:22:20,567
Claire knows this. He's all
old-school pen and paper.
1861
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:22,051
It's the samurai way.
1862
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:25,330
Okay, I'm in. Let's do this.
I'm in.
1863
01:22:25,400 --> 01:22:26,640
CLAIRE: Why would you be in?
1864
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:28,165
MIKE: What do you mean
why would I be in?
1865
01:22:28,240 --> 01:22:29,241
You've been talking
all morning about
1866
01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:31,084
how you wanted to
get your company back.
1867
01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:33,925
And you guys are gonna need
help, and I'm a helpful guy.
1868
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:35,331
How's that for a reason?
1869
01:22:35,880 --> 01:22:37,211
You're gonna get
rewarded for that.
1870
01:22:37,280 --> 01:22:39,408
MIKE; Well, that's
not Why I did it.
1871
01:22:39,880 --> 01:22:41,928
I'm in, too.
MICHELLE: No, Claire.
1872
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,082
This is my fault
and I'm gonna fix it.
1873
01:22:44,160 --> 01:22:46,003
Michelle, this is
my decision.
1874
01:22:46,080 --> 01:22:47,525
And I want our
company back.
1875
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:49,090
Yes, Claire.
1876
01:22:49,160 --> 01:22:51,049
All right, let's
fuck this shit up.
1877
01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:53,282
Language.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
1878
01:22:54,040 --> 01:22:55,565
I need to get a sitter.
1879
01:22:56,240 --> 01:22:57,480
Yeah, you do.
1880
01:22:59,560 --> 01:23:02,006
MICHELLE: As soon as we get out I
want you to grab the gasoline,
1881
01:23:02,120 --> 01:23:03,485
some rags,
and torch the van.
1882
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:04,641
MIKE: What are you
talking about?
1883
01:23:04,720 --> 01:23:06,165
I rented the van.
It's on my credit card.
1884
01:23:06,240 --> 01:23:07,480
You go down,
you go down alone.
1885
01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:09,210
How would we
even get home?
1886
01:23:09,280 --> 01:23:11,089
That's a good point.
MVP, Claire.
1887
01:23:11,160 --> 01:23:14,607
Uh-oh. There's no door handle back here.
There's absolutely... Oh.
1888
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:16,650
Thank you, Claire.
(CLEARS THROAT)
1889
01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:19,362
Okay. I still don't
think you should be here.
1890
01:23:19,440 --> 01:23:20,441
But if we get caught,
1891
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:22,847
I want you to tell the police
that I forced you here by gun.
1892
01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:24,046
You gotta watch
out for Rachel.
1893
01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:26,009
Okay. You don't have
a gun, though, right?
1894
01:23:26,080 --> 01:23:27,923
What am I, a thug?
Okay.
1895
01:23:28,000 --> 01:23:30,606
MIKE: I'm such a badass!
This is gonna be amazing!
1896
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:32,967
Also, by the way, guys,
I was googling jail sentences.
1897
01:23:33,040 --> 01:23:35,281
Since none of us are actually
armed, minimal jail time.
1898
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:39,888
Oops. Just excuse me
for one minute.
1899
01:23:39,960 --> 01:23:42,281
(GASPS) Michelle! Well,
it's a collector's item.
1900
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:43,961
Ditch it.
1901
01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:46,850
Chuckin' a gun in a garbage can.
That's smart.
1902
01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:47,887
What?
Oh, my God.
1903
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:50,207
Okay! I know it was wrong.
I self-corrected.
1904
01:23:50,280 --> 01:23:52,169
No, you didn't. ljustasked
you to throw...
1905
01:23:52,240 --> 01:23:54,527
Well, you made me
throw it away. Okay.
1906
01:23:55,480 --> 01:23:57,403
Okay, there it is.
Renault Enterprises.
1907
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:00,483
The contract is probably
in his private office,
1908
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:02,443
which is at the top
of the building.
1909
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:03,328
I'm guessing there's a safe,
could be in the wall.
1910
01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:07,041
Could be behind
one of those creepy paintings.
1911
01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:08,724
We got two guards on tonight.
1912
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:10,689
We got one at the main desk
and one by the elevators.
1913
01:24:10,760 --> 01:24:11,283
Mike, I need you to
distract the guard
1914
01:24:12,480 --> 01:24:15,324
while Claire lumbers in, and I
follow behind like a cougar.
1915
01:24:15,960 --> 01:24:17,485
Okay, next, we head upstairs.
1916
01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:19,050
Claire, I'm gonna
give you a head start
1917
01:24:19,120 --> 01:24:21,407
'cause I'm gonna take those
motherfuckers 10 at a time.
1918
01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:24,051
You stand there with your mouth
hangin' open, and pointin',
1919
01:24:24,160 --> 01:24:25,924
and I'll slide into home base.
1920
01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:29,042
Mike, I need you to
distract the guard
1921
01:24:29,120 --> 01:24:31,088
by coming from the east,
turning him around,
1922
01:24:31,160 --> 01:24:33,242
so when we approach,
while you're sucking his dick,
1923
01:24:33,320 --> 01:24:34,731
we can get right past him.
1924
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,205
So under no circumstances...
1925
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:37,930
I'm sucking his what?
1926
01:24:38,120 --> 01:24:39,246
You're sucking his dick.
1927
01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:41,004
I'm sucking his dick?
Oh.
1928
01:24:41,120 --> 01:24:42,326
MICHELLE: Well, I'm not
gonna suck his dick.
1929
01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:45,206
I'm the brains behind it. The
brains never sucks the dick.
1930
01:24:45,280 --> 01:24:47,282
Why am I sucking his dick?
I don't wanna suck his dick!
1931
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:49,408
Claire doesn't
wanna suck his dick!
1932
01:24:49,520 --> 01:24:51,682
How 'bout none of us
suck that man's penis?
1933
01:24:51,760 --> 01:24:53,250
Yeah, what if nobody
sucks his dick?
1934
01:24:53,320 --> 01:24:54,526
No dick suckin'.
1935
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:57,528
Well, I worked on
that plan a long time.
1936
01:24:57,600 --> 01:24:59,602
Fine. Fine,
let's go to plan B.
1937
01:24:59,680 --> 01:25:01,045
MIKE: Yeah,
that sounds good.
1938
01:25:01,120 --> 01:25:03,930
If you're gonna be a baby and not
suck dick, that's fine with me.
1939
01:25:14,680 --> 01:25:15,727
(GROANING)
1940
01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:19,364
KENNY: Hey, there.
Hey! How you doing?
1941
01:25:19,440 --> 01:25:23,286
Is this 9800 Michigan?
I'm late for a birthday party.
1942
01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:24,964
No, this is 9900.
1943
01:25:25,040 --> 01:25:26,690
This is 9900?
Yeah.
1944
01:25:26,720 --> 01:25:27,881
Well, wouldn't you know it?
Yeah.
1945
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:29,121
Why are you
dressed like that?
1946
01:25:29,200 --> 01:25:30,326
What are you
dressed as?
1947
01:25:30,400 --> 01:25:31,481
I'm glad you asked me.
1948
01:25:31,560 --> 01:25:34,484
lam actually a demon.
I'm a phoenix.
1949
01:25:34,640 --> 01:25:35,801
(SNICKERING)
1950
01:25:36,280 --> 01:25:37,611
Pretty cool, right?
1951
01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:39,201
Are you into demons?
1952
01:25:39,880 --> 01:25:41,962
Yeah. I know
a fair amount.
1953
01:25:42,040 --> 01:25:43,121
KENNY: That is very cool.
1954
01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:44,730
MIKE: You can touch
the feathers if you want.
1955
01:25:44,800 --> 01:25:47,167
Yeah, a lot of people don't know that.
It was a demon.
1956
01:25:47,240 --> 01:25:50,449
It's actually
pronounced Quetzalcéatl.
1957
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:51,806
(WHISPERING) He's
talking too much.
1958
01:25:51,880 --> 01:25:54,406
He'd be a lot quieter
with a penis in his mouth.
1959
01:25:54,920 --> 01:25:56,081
I'm into demons.
You are?
1960
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:57,286
Yeah.
I think you said that.
1961
01:25:57,360 --> 01:25:59,089
I really am. I do a lot
of fantasy role-play.
1962
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:00,571
That's so weird.
1963
01:26:00,640 --> 01:26:02,449
Yeah, gets a little
boring in here sometimes.
1964
01:26:02,520 --> 01:26:04,170
I bet.
I whistle.
1965
01:26:04,240 --> 01:26:05,890
You whistle?
I whistle a lot in here.
1966
01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:07,086
Let's hear some.
Yeah.
1967
01:26:07,160 --> 01:26:08,764
(WHISTLING)
1968
01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:14,249
Why is that
one whistling?
1969
01:26:16,280 --> 01:26:17,691
Just kind of
holding that one note.
1970
01:26:17,760 --> 01:26:19,000
Yeah, I like to do that.
I like to play with
1971
01:26:19,080 --> 01:26:20,889
bars and structures,
things like that.
1972
01:26:20,960 --> 01:26:22,803
MIKE: You got a real hefty
lung capacity there.
1973
01:26:22,880 --> 01:26:24,405
I never got your name.
1974
01:26:24,440 --> 01:26:27,808
Yeah, it's... It's Jim.
Jimberly. Jim?
1975
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:29,924
Jimberly?
Jimberly Stevenson.
1976
01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:31,811
(MIKE YELLING)
1977
01:26:31,880 --> 01:26:33,245
What's going on?
1978
01:26:33,320 --> 01:26:35,846
It's a cramp!
God, I got a cramp!
1979
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:38,890
Kenny! All right. I can help you.
I can help you.
1980
01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:41,287
It's in the quad! No, it's in the quad.
Right here? Right here?
1981
01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:42,850
That's the top.
That's the top.
1982
01:26:42,920 --> 01:26:43,967
KENNY: Okay? Right there?
1983
01:26:44,040 --> 01:26:46,566
MIKE: That's a little too close to the
groin, Kenny. That's a no-fly zone.
1984
01:26:47,560 --> 01:26:48,641
(CLEARS T HRO AT)
1985
01:26:51,800 --> 01:26:53,768
Thank God you're here.
1986
01:26:53,840 --> 01:26:56,127
I'm always here.
This is my shift.
1987
01:26:56,800 --> 01:26:58,643
(LAUGHING)
1988
01:27:00,520 --> 01:27:01,965
Yeah.
1989
01:27:02,040 --> 01:27:04,566
Sorry. You are so funny.
That really got me.
1990
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:06,842
I'm Pete. I'm security.
1991
01:27:06,920 --> 01:27:09,890
Hi, Pete. I
1992
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:11,610
am a specialty dancer.
1993
01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:12,761
Whoa.
1994
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:15,606
"Whoa" is right.
Nice blouse.
1995
01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:17,882
CLAIRE: It's Talbots.
1996
01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:21,243
One of my more expensive
clients asked
1997
01:27:21,320 --> 01:27:24,324
that I pay him a visit here,
in the building, tonight.
1998
01:27:24,760 --> 01:27:26,728
No one goes up without a pass.
1999
01:27:27,320 --> 01:27:28,321
Right.
2000
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,006
All I need you to do is swipe
that little card, okay?
2001
01:27:31,080 --> 01:27:32,969
And then, mama
can get to work.
2002
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:36,571
Sometimes, before the dance,
I have to limber up.
2003
01:27:36,640 --> 01:27:38,369
I do some
sexy stretches. Like...
2004
01:27:46,360 --> 01:27:47,930
All right? How's that?
Jelly. Back to square one.
2005
01:27:48,000 --> 01:27:49,490
We're good?
Yup! Yup, yup.
2006
01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:51,085
I don't wanna overdo it. Phew.
2007
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:53,570
Okay. Well, hey.
2008
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:55,284
Kenny, you're one of the
good ones, man. Yeah.
2009
01:27:55,360 --> 01:27:56,930
Yeah, not a lot of guys
would do that for another guy.
2010
01:27:57,040 --> 01:27:58,724
I'll do it for you.
Thanks, man.
2011
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:00,604
But we'll hang. We'll do it.
Yeah, we'll totally hang.
2012
01:28:00,680 --> 01:28:02,170
No big deal, buddy.
All right, have a good one.
2013
01:28:02,240 --> 01:28:03,480
Bye, Jimberly.
2014
01:28:03,880 --> 01:28:05,609
You buzz me up,
2015
01:28:05,680 --> 01:28:07,648
and I'll give you a free dance
on the way down.
2016
01:28:07,760 --> 01:28:08,841
How about that?
2017
01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:10,566
I'll let you up.
2018
01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:13,681
I like Gordon Lightfoot.
2019
01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:15,080
Who doesn't?
2020
01:28:16,920 --> 01:28:21,528
The legend lives on
from the Chippewa on down
2021
01:28:21,600 --> 01:28:25,127
To the big lake they
call Gitche Gumee
2022
01:28:25,560 --> 01:28:30,964
The lake... Said and...
(MUMBLING)
2023
01:28:31,040 --> 01:28:33,407
Oh, my God.
Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!
2024
01:28:33,840 --> 01:28:35,205
Did you just...
2025
01:28:35,280 --> 01:28:36,327
Yes.
2026
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:37,481
Did yQu?
2027
01:28:38,320 --> 01:28:39,401
No.
2028
01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,085
God damn it, Pete.
2029
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:42,925
I gotta sit down.
Yeah.
2030
01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:44,081
Okay.
I gotta sit down.
2031
01:28:45,600 --> 01:28:47,648
I'm embarrassed.
Just“
2032
01:28:49,120 --> 01:28:50,201
He seems nice.
2033
01:28:56,200 --> 01:28:57,247
Jesus.
2034
01:28:57,400 --> 01:29:01,883
Jimberly. "J", "J".
2035
01:29:02,320 --> 01:29:04,721
Maybe it's "J-Y-M."
2036
01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:06,768
What the fuck?
There's no Jimberlys.
2037
01:29:13,400 --> 01:29:14,447
(SNORING)
2038
01:29:21,120 --> 01:29:22,884
Well, then where
is his office?
2039
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:26,129
I don't know. The last time
I was here, I was tipsy.
2040
01:29:26,280 --> 01:29:27,770
(ELEVATOR DINGING)
2041
01:29:29,400 --> 01:29:31,971
Oh, my God. You guys, we're
total burglars. Look at us!
2042
01:29:32,040 --> 01:29:33,485
How did you get
past the guards?
2043
01:29:33,560 --> 01:29:35,881
That was a piece of cake. He
was, like, totally passed out.
2044
01:29:35,960 --> 01:29:37,325
I don't know what was
going on there.
2045
01:29:37,400 --> 01:29:38,447
Me neither.
2046
01:29:38,640 --> 01:29:40,324
(LAUGHING)
2047
01:29:43,960 --> 01:29:45,962
I feel like this is
going great.
2048
01:29:46,040 --> 01:29:49,522
Michelle, you brought trash
bags, baby wipes, shower gel.
2049
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:51,921
Do you actually think
we're gonna need rope?
2050
01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:57,247
Come on! Every story about a
burglar always involves rope.
2051
01:29:57,320 --> 01:29:58,606
That's true.
It's in all the movies.
2052
01:29:58,680 --> 01:30:00,887
I am a mogul,
not a cat burglar.
2053
01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:03,088
I'm also the only one that
thought to bring provisions.
2054
01:30:03,840 --> 01:30:05,524
MIKE: Michelle, stop!
I forgot, I'm sorry.
2055
01:30:06,280 --> 01:30:07,520
I stole the guard's keycard.
What?
2056
01:30:07,600 --> 01:30:08,761
You stole his key?
2057
01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:10,041
Yeah. Okay.
2058
01:30:13,400 --> 01:30:14,970
MIKE: Somebody loves
Mortal Kombat.
2059
01:30:15,040 --> 01:30:16,530
CLAIRE: Let's just find the
contract and get outta here.
2060
01:30:16,680 --> 01:30:18,091
Okay. I bet you he put
it in his panic room.
2061
01:30:18,160 --> 01:30:19,685
That's what I'd do
if I had a panic room.
2062
01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:21,728
It's probably voice-activated,
high-tech stuff in here.
2063
01:30:21,800 --> 01:30:22,847
Open desk.
2064
01:30:22,920 --> 01:30:24,570
Yeah. Open desk!
CLAIRE: Open...
2065
01:30:24,640 --> 01:30:26,130
No, it was just manual.
2066
01:30:27,920 --> 01:30:29,922
I got it! In his
desk drawer,
2067
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:31,843
in a file marked "Darnell."
2068
01:30:31,920 --> 01:30:34,161
Probably overthought that one.
It's classic Mike.
2069
01:30:34,280 --> 01:30:36,282
MIKE: I do that a lot.
Let's go!
2070
01:30:36,360 --> 01:30:38,488
RENAULT: Son of a bitch, Stephan!
You left the door open!
2071
01:30:40,120 --> 01:30:41,121
Oh.
2072
01:30:41,800 --> 01:30:43,040
Well, who do
we have here?
2073
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:47,800
Michelle Darnell, the
baker and Quetzalcéatl.
2074
01:30:47,920 --> 01:30:50,082
That is impressive. I mean,
you gotta give him that.
2075
01:30:50,160 --> 01:30:51,810
I'm not even
wearing the mask.
2076
01:30:52,440 --> 01:30:55,444
That wouldn't be our contract
you're holding, would it, Michelle?
2077
01:30:55,920 --> 01:30:58,526
You wouldn't be foolish enough to
back out of our plan, would you?
2078
01:30:58,640 --> 01:31:01,291
You know what? It was never
her company to sell.
2079
01:31:01,360 --> 01:31:04,330
I own 50% of it, so...
RENAULT: Yeah.
2080
01:31:04,440 --> 01:31:07,091
I may have fudged the initial paperwork.
You what?
2081
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:08,571
But I am sorry.
So, I'm not...
2082
01:31:08,640 --> 01:31:09,607
And I will rectify...
Michelle!
2083
01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:11,569
You will be. You will be.
I'm sorry.
2084
01:31:11,640 --> 01:31:15,042
I wonder, how should
I approach this?
2085
01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,890
Call the proper authorities
and turn you in?
2086
01:31:22,960 --> 01:31:25,327
Or we could just talk it
out amongst ourselves.
2087
01:31:26,160 --> 01:31:28,208
Do you know what the
fascinating thing is
2088
01:31:28,320 --> 01:31:30,368
about the Japanese
martial arts?
2089
01:31:31,480 --> 01:31:32,925
The discipline.
2090
01:31:33,080 --> 01:31:34,411
(INHALES DEEPLY) Ya!
2091
01:31:35,440 --> 01:31:36,805
The integrity.
2092
01:31:40,360 --> 01:31:41,850
The loyalty.
2093
01:31:44,080 --> 01:31:45,445
Okay, Okay, stop!
2094
01:31:45,560 --> 01:31:46,766
I'll d0 it.
2095
01:31:47,840 --> 01:31:49,490
I'll suck your dick.
What?
2096
01:31:49,560 --> 01:31:50,846
MIKE: I don't wanna do it,
2097
01:31:50,920 --> 01:31:53,241
but if you promise not to
hurt anybody in this room,
2098
01:31:53,360 --> 01:31:54,566
I'll suck your dick.
2099
01:31:54,640 --> 01:31:55,687
Mike, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
2100
01:31:56,440 --> 01:31:57,771
Oh, my God. Mike, no. What?
2101
01:31:57,840 --> 01:31:59,490
You don't want me to
suck his dick? No.
2102
01:31:59,560 --> 01:32:01,642
Wrong dick,
wrong time, Mike.
2103
01:32:01,720 --> 01:32:02,721
Wrong dick.
Wrong dick.
2104
01:32:02,800 --> 01:32:04,211
It was supposed to be
the security guy's dick.
2105
01:32:04,280 --> 01:32:05,611
I was trying to
be a team player.
2106
01:32:05,680 --> 01:32:07,842
Real eager, Claire.
It's a red flag.
2107
01:32:07,920 --> 01:32:09,046
Idon%Hke
sucking dicks.
2108
01:32:09,120 --> 01:32:10,281
It's not my business.
2109
01:32:10,360 --> 01:32:11,691
RENAULT: Nobody's
sucking my dick.
2110
01:32:11,760 --> 01:32:12,921
CLAIRE: Fair enough.
2111
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:15,810
Well, that's the first time
I've heard you say that, but...
2112
01:32:15,880 --> 01:32:16,881
I'm going to plan B,
2113
01:32:16,960 --> 01:32:18,530
my tongue has
always been my sword.
2114
01:32:18,600 --> 01:32:19,601
MIKE: Okay.
2115
01:32:21,200 --> 01:32:23,202
Put the knife
away, Ronald.
2116
01:32:23,480 --> 01:32:26,165
It's not a knife.
It's a katana.
2117
01:32:26,240 --> 01:32:27,366
Katana.
2118
01:32:27,600 --> 01:32:30,888
You're not gonna cut anyone with
that knife and we all know it.
2119
01:32:31,440 --> 01:32:32,487
(GASPS)
2120
01:32:32,560 --> 01:32:33,686
MIKE: Oh, shit!
2121
01:32:33,760 --> 01:32:36,161
Big bird, blondie,
over there! Go! Scoot!
2122
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:37,685
MIKE: Okay. All right, easy!
2123
01:32:39,120 --> 01:32:40,121
(GROANS)
2124
01:32:40,240 --> 01:32:41,287
Oh, shit.
2125
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,802
Are you crazy, Ron?
I'm bleeding!
2126
01:32:45,080 --> 01:32:46,491
Give me back what's mine.
2127
01:32:46,560 --> 01:32:47,800
(BOTH GRUNTING)
2128
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:49,120
Michelle!
2129
01:32:50,640 --> 01:32:52,085
Oh, hello, old friend! Get off!
2130
01:32:53,080 --> 01:32:54,161
Oh, God,
I've missed this.
2131
01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:56,641
God, you keep
that shit tight. No!
2132
01:32:57,120 --> 01:32:58,121
(GRUNTING)
2133
01:32:58,920 --> 01:33:00,046
CLAIRE: Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
2134
01:33:00,160 --> 01:33:01,321
Michelle, get up!
Get up!
2135
01:33:01,680 --> 01:33:02,681
(GROANING)
2136
01:33:03,760 --> 01:33:04,921
MIKE: Just get up.
2137
01:33:05,520 --> 01:33:07,010
MICHELLE: Okay,
let's be reasonable.
2138
01:33:07,080 --> 01:33:09,321
You know, I'm sure we can come
to some kind of an agreement.
2139
01:33:09,760 --> 01:33:10,886
Oh, we're past that point.
2140
01:33:10,960 --> 01:33:13,167
For the first time in my life, I'm
trying to do the right thing!
2141
01:33:13,240 --> 01:33:15,004
This is not about
me and you!
2142
01:33:15,080 --> 01:33:16,730
You don't even
want our company!
2143
01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:20,361
That's true, but you screwed me
over 25 years ago, you bitch.
2144
01:33:21,080 --> 01:33:22,923
I thought sending you
to prison would help,
2145
01:33:23,000 --> 01:33:26,049
but cutting you to ribbons is the
only way I'll get satisfaction!
2146
01:33:26,760 --> 01:33:27,761
(GRUNTS)
2147
01:33:28,120 --> 01:33:29,281
Had enough?
(GRUNTING)
2148
01:33:30,280 --> 01:33:31,281
Shit.
2149
01:33:31,640 --> 01:33:33,642
Oh, check this out.
MICHELLE: Fucking psycho!
2150
01:33:35,920 --> 01:33:36,921
(GRUNTING)
2151
01:33:37,440 --> 01:33:38,441
Back up.
2152
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:40,371
(YELLING)
2153
01:33:40,600 --> 01:33:41,601
Look at that!
2154
01:33:41,960 --> 01:33:43,849
Just a figure eight.
It's like double Dutch!
2155
01:33:43,920 --> 01:33:44,967
That's not
how you do it.
2156
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:46,167
Yeah, looks like
I'm doing it.
2157
01:33:46,240 --> 01:33:48,481
Look at that. I can bob,
somebody can weave.
2158
01:33:48,600 --> 01:33:49,647
You see this shit.
2159
01:33:49,760 --> 01:33:51,285
OW! God!
2160
01:33:54,280 --> 01:33:55,770
Huh? Twelve years
of baton.
2161
01:33:55,840 --> 01:33:57,569
Everybody likes to make
fun of the baton girls.
2162
01:33:57,640 --> 01:34:00,041
Seven, eight,
one, two, three, four...
2163
01:34:03,120 --> 01:34:04,121
(GASPING)
2164
01:34:04,320 --> 01:34:05,685
Just give him
the contract!
2165
01:34:05,760 --> 01:34:08,286
No! I'm getting
our company back!
2166
01:34:08,960 --> 01:34:10,246
(BOTH GRUNTING)
2167
01:34:18,080 --> 01:34:19,127
(SCREAMS)
2168
01:34:19,600 --> 01:34:22,206
(EXCLAIMING) I will cut
you in your white meat!
2169
01:34:22,280 --> 01:34:23,486
What?
Oh, my God.
2170
01:34:24,200 --> 01:34:25,247
Ha!
2171
01:34:25,320 --> 01:34:26,845
Now we both
have swords, huh?
2172
01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:28,365
What is happening?
2173
01:34:28,440 --> 01:34:29,601
Pretty fucking
literal, Claire!
2174
01:34:29,680 --> 01:34:32,923
We're having a sword fight. We're
both fighting with swords.
2175
01:34:33,000 --> 01:34:35,321
I haven't been with another
woman since I've been with you.
2176
01:34:35,440 --> 01:34:38,842
Really? I've been
with hundreds of men.
2177
01:34:39,160 --> 01:34:40,321
You whore!
2178
01:34:40,440 --> 01:34:41,771
(GRUNTING)
2179
01:34:45,720 --> 01:34:47,051
Oh, shit!
2180
01:34:49,680 --> 01:34:50,681
Claire!
2181
01:34:53,120 --> 01:34:54,770
CLAIRE: Michelle, let's go!
MIKE: Michelle, come on!
2182
01:34:54,840 --> 01:34:55,966
(BOTH GROANING)
2183
01:34:56,040 --> 01:34:57,565
It's been so long.
2184
01:34:58,960 --> 01:35:01,042
That's enough!
It's too hot.
2185
01:35:04,840 --> 01:35:05,921
(BARKING)
2186
01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:11,410
Waita minute! Why
are we running up?
2187
01:35:11,520 --> 01:35:13,682
I don't know, it was the only door.
I'm doing the best I can!
2188
01:35:13,760 --> 01:35:15,683
I should not be
running with a sword!
2189
01:35:16,560 --> 01:35:18,528
Okay, all right! Okay. All right.
There's gotta be a way down!
2190
01:35:18,600 --> 01:35:20,011
Get away from there.
Come here.
2191
01:35:20,080 --> 01:35:21,491
Michelle, I'm not so good
with heights, you know.
2192
01:35:21,560 --> 01:35:22,686
I'm feeling
kind of tingly.
2193
01:35:22,760 --> 01:35:24,000
Claire, look at me.
You have been on
2194
01:35:24,080 --> 01:35:25,923
a helipad before and
it's gonna be fine.
2195
01:35:26,000 --> 01:35:28,367
Right. Right, but then they
weren't chasing us with swords!
2196
01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:32,328
You make a good point. Claire,
I'm sorry I got you into this.
2197
01:35:32,400 --> 01:35:33,686
RENAULT: Michelle!
2198
01:35:33,760 --> 01:35:35,330
STEPHAN: God, I need
to do more cardio.
2199
01:35:35,400 --> 01:35:37,562
Go over there.
Go over there! Be careful.
2200
01:35:38,560 --> 01:35:40,085
You left so suddenly.
2201
01:35:40,160 --> 01:35:43,084
Okay, let them go.
I'm the one you want.
2202
01:35:44,400 --> 01:35:47,210
You know, I killed a man in
Costa Rica with this sword.
2203
01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:51,288
I guess you would
call it my killing sword.
2204
01:35:52,400 --> 01:35:53,401
(SHOUTING)
2205
01:35:53,480 --> 01:35:54,481
(BOTH GRUNTING)
2206
01:36:02,960 --> 01:36:04,485
You're terrible in bed!
2207
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:06,001
I know.
2208
01:36:06,160 --> 01:36:07,161
(WHIMPERING)
2209
01:36:07,280 --> 01:36:08,406
Oh, my God!
Michelle!
2210
01:36:08,920 --> 01:36:10,365
Whoa. Honey!
Let her go, Claire!
2211
01:36:10,440 --> 01:36:12,124
She's making
a fortune in heaven.
2212
01:36:13,280 --> 01:36:15,408
Hey, hey.
Hey, smile!
2213
01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:17,881
Okay, everyone
take it easy.
2214
01:36:18,000 --> 01:36:19,490
I've been filming
this the whole time.
2215
01:36:20,000 --> 01:36:22,287
Take the sword away from her or I
swear to God I'm gonna hit "send."
2216
01:36:22,880 --> 01:36:24,962
Yeah, you're not
gonna hit "send"
2217
01:36:25,120 --> 01:36:27,202
because I'm gonna
chop your hand off.
2218
01:36:27,280 --> 01:36:28,361
(GRUNTING)
CLAIRE: No!
2219
01:36:28,440 --> 01:36:29,726
Oh, my God.
2220
01:36:29,800 --> 01:36:31,529
Brother!
RENAULT: No!
2221
01:36:31,600 --> 01:36:34,888
Son of a...
(YELLS) Samurai!
2222
01:36:34,960 --> 01:36:36,086
Shutup!
2223
01:36:36,160 --> 01:36:39,050
Oh, thank goodness!
Michelle, are you all right?
2224
01:36:39,120 --> 01:36:40,167
MICHELLE: I'm fine!
2225
01:36:40,480 --> 01:36:42,403
I'm about to feel
much better.
2226
01:36:43,600 --> 01:36:44,965
RENAULT: No.
Yes!
2227
01:36:45,400 --> 01:36:47,801
Be wrong to ask
for your forgiveness?
2228
01:36:49,520 --> 01:36:51,124
It's Ron talking.
2229
01:36:52,320 --> 01:36:54,049
Oh, Ron!
I'm sorry.
2230
01:36:54,360 --> 01:36:57,648
Renault, do you still need
me to hold them at bay?
2231
01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:00,767
Oh, my God.
2232
01:37:00,840 --> 01:37:01,921
Come here.
2233
01:37:02,840 --> 01:37:03,887
Ow.
2234
01:37:04,240 --> 01:37:05,241
Ow.
2235
01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:10,281
Michelle, don't make
out with the sociopath!
2236
01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:13,131
I know. You make
a good point.
2237
01:37:13,720 --> 01:37:15,290
But this is really
good stuff.
2238
01:37:15,360 --> 01:37:16,600
Victim here.
2239
01:37:16,680 --> 01:37:18,011
Michelle!
2240
01:37:20,160 --> 01:37:23,767
CLAIRE: Michelle! He literally
tried to kill you!
2241
01:37:23,840 --> 01:37:26,002
MICHELLE: I know.
But his mouth didn't!
2242
01:37:33,640 --> 01:37:37,440
MICHELLE: Okay!
Attention, everyone!
2243
01:37:37,520 --> 01:37:41,320
I just wanna say what a great first
year for the Darnell's Darlings.
2244
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:44,609
And what a great first house
for Rachel and Claire.
2245
01:37:44,680 --> 01:37:46,045
(ALL CHEERING)
2246
01:37:46,120 --> 01:37:47,167
MIKE: Cheers!
2247
01:37:47,240 --> 01:37:51,290
Finally, they have a decent guestroom
so I can stay over when I get blasted.
2248
01:37:51,360 --> 01:37:53,010
CLAIRE: Michelle.
What's "blasted"?
2249
01:37:53,080 --> 01:37:55,321
I'll show you in about
three drinks. (LAUGHING)
2250
01:37:55,440 --> 01:37:57,249
No, she won't.
MICHELLE: I'm kidding.
2251
01:37:57,320 --> 01:37:58,526
But if I can,
2252
01:37:58,640 --> 01:38:00,642
can I take a serious
note for a minute,
2253
01:38:00,720 --> 01:38:03,291
and I just wanna
say I'm proud of you.
2254
01:38:03,360 --> 01:38:06,011
You've built a great family
home here for you and Rachel.
2255
01:38:06,080 --> 01:38:09,402
And I'm awfully glad that I
get to be a part of that. So.
2256
01:38:10,120 --> 01:38:11,326
Thank you, Michelle.
2257
01:38:11,400 --> 01:38:12,481
Thank you.
2258
01:38:12,560 --> 01:38:15,882
Oh, and thank you for the new sofa!
You really shouldn't have done that.
2259
01:38:16,520 --> 01:38:18,204
Oh, well, I should
have, though.
2260
01:38:18,280 --> 01:38:21,807
I mean, the old one was very
uncomfortable and very dangerous.
2261
01:38:21,880 --> 01:38:23,723
But don't worry.
I don't wanna hear it.
2262
01:38:23,800 --> 01:38:26,531
I did donate it to
just the right person.
2263
01:38:31,360 --> 01:38:32,600
(THUDDING)
2264
01:38:33,560 --> 01:38:34,766
Hannah!
2265
01:38:35,720 --> 01:38:38,087
Michelle Darnell
just sent us a sofa bed.
2266
01:38:38,160 --> 01:38:41,164
You know what I call that?
A victory. I win.
2267
01:38:41,960 --> 01:38:43,121
Whatever.
2268
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:46,251
Oh, it is comfortable.
2269
01:38:48,600 --> 01:38:50,523
Ah. (CHUCKLING)
2270
01:38:51,520 --> 01:38:52,601
It's comfortable...
2271
01:38:52,800 --> 01:38:53,801
(YELLING)
2272
01:38:55,160 --> 01:38:56,525
Darnell!
2273
01:41:03,600 --> 01:41:05,568
I may have had a little bit
of your Scotch last night
2274
01:41:05,640 --> 01:41:08,723
and I got into
the most wonderful chip.
2275
01:41:08,800 --> 01:41:11,041
It was called a Dorito.
2276
01:41:11,120 --> 01:41:12,451
(BOTH GIGGLING)
2277
01:41:15,360 --> 01:41:18,091
I've had wonderful
Vermont ched...
2278
01:41:18,160 --> 01:41:19,650
(BOTH GIGGLING)
2279
01:41:20,440 --> 01:41:22,044
I'm so sorry.
God, I'm a hack.
2280
01:41:22,480 --> 01:41:23,891
MICHELLE: Hi, Rachel.
2281
01:41:23,960 --> 01:41:25,166
It's Rachel!
2282
01:41:25,240 --> 01:41:26,765
That's what I said.
2283
01:41:27,320 --> 01:41:28,367
DIRECTOR: One more time.
2284
01:41:28,440 --> 01:41:29,726
(ALL GIGGLING)
2285
01:41:30,280 --> 01:41:32,851
I'm an icon. lam not
a professional burger.
2286
01:41:33,320 --> 01:41:34,731
(LAUGHING)
2287
01:41:36,440 --> 01:41:38,204
But I like burgers.
2288
01:41:38,720 --> 01:41:40,848
I took the guard's
keycard. Oh, fuck me.
2289
01:41:40,920 --> 01:41:43,127
I took the card from the geek.
What the fuck is it?
2290
01:41:43,240 --> 01:41:44,651
I took the
guard's keycard.
2291
01:41:44,720 --> 01:41:45,881
I took the card
from the geek.
2292
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,530
(LAUGHING) Oh,
my God. Again.
2293
01:41:47,600 --> 01:41:48,681
Katana.
2294
01:41:49,080 --> 01:41:50,764
Oh, gosh. Sorry.
2295
01:41:51,520 --> 01:41:54,649
CLAIRE: Stop picking up wood!
Michelle! (CREW LAUGHING)
2296
01:41:57,040 --> 01:41:58,849
(LAUGHING)
2297
01:41:59,280 --> 01:42:00,361
DIRECTOR: Here we go.
2298
01:42:00,440 --> 01:42:01,601
Oh, God. I'm gonna
pee my pants.
2299
01:42:03,160 --> 01:42:04,161
(BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER)
2300
01:42:04,240 --> 01:42:06,368
Oh, my God. No. Please
give me one more shot.
2301
01:42:07,760 --> 01:42:08,841
You pop...
(GIGGLING)
2302
01:42:09,880 --> 01:42:12,121
When you left my life...
(STAMMERING) Shit. Fuck.
2303
01:42:12,200 --> 01:42:15,010
What was that?
I should've been so...
2304
01:42:15,080 --> 01:42:17,367
Meryl Streep would've
just kept going.
2305
01:42:17,520 --> 01:42:20,364
I stand corrected.
Do you want some nuts?
2306
01:42:20,480 --> 01:42:21,766
(GIGGLING)
2307
01:42:22,160 --> 01:42:25,050
So we can get to the elevators while
you're sucking his dick. (GIGGLING)
2308
01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:26,561
Wait. I'm sorry.
2309
01:42:26,640 --> 01:42:31,567
I'm so sorry. I saw it coming
from a mile away. I'm so sorry.
2310
01:42:32,200 --> 01:42:33,690
Okay.
I can get in there.
2311
01:42:33,760 --> 01:42:36,570
I can get the contract and I
can take back our country.
2312
01:42:36,640 --> 01:42:37,801
DIRECTOR: What do
you mean "take..."
2313
01:42:37,920 --> 01:42:39,081
God damn it. (GIGGLING)
(CREW LAUGHING)
2314
01:42:40,400 --> 01:42:43,131
I object to parolees
attending our meetings
2315
01:42:43,200 --> 01:42:45,328
and I'd like to put that in
the official transcreept...
2316
01:42:45,400 --> 01:42:46,686
(CHUCKUNG)
2317
01:42:46,760 --> 01:42:48,842
I made a
good business...
2318
01:42:50,400 --> 01:42:53,290
You know what? You made
a good business...
2319
01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:57,490
Really? You fucking kidding me?
I can't say "decision."
2320
01:42:57,640 --> 01:42:59,005
CLAIRE: Language, Michelle.
Yeah.
2321
01:42:59,400 --> 01:43:00,606
Good night!
2322
01:43:00,720 --> 01:43:02,051
(CREW LAUGHING)
2323
01:43:02,120 --> 01:43:03,884
You think they'll
ever yell "cut"?
2324
01:43:04,360 --> 01:43:05,691
(LAUGHING)
2325
01:43:05,760 --> 01:43:06,921
No.