1 00:00:37,679 --> 00:00:39,398 - Hello? - Tracey, it's Bradley. 2 00:00:39,399 --> 00:00:41,519 Bradley, where the hell are you guys? 3 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,200 - I am freaking out! - Listen. 4 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,158 We fucked up. 5 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,118 What are you talking about? 6 00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:51,920 Me and Doug are about to get married and I haven't heard from him in two days. 7 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,200 Things got a little out of control last night and we... 8 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,478 We lost Doug. 9 00:00:57,479 --> 00:00:59,279 The wedding is in a few hours! 10 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,520 - In Santa Barbara? - Yeah! 11 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,280 That's not gonna happen. 12 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,518 Look, I know everyone's a little miffed we couldn't do Vegas this year, 13 00:01:52,519 --> 00:01:55,479 but I'm telling you, Chief Loose Slots is the next best thing. 14 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,639 I don't care where we have my bachelor party, guys. 15 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,280 All that matters is that we're celebrating together. 16 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,440 And that we don't have AIDS. 17 00:02:03,319 --> 00:02:06,760 Anyway, I bet once you get inside, it's not so bad. 18 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,800 All right! 19 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,240 Hey, it's cute. 20 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,640 I am honestly impressed by how shitty this is. 21 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,280 You don't even need a blacklight to see all the stains. 22 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,239 Maybe that's yogurt. 23 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,720 Nah, it says right here in the pamphlet, it is semen. 24 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:39,799 Look, semen or no semen, 25 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,040 the important thing is that Doug 26 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,399 found his soulmate. 27 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,559 Thanks, man. 28 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,360 Tracey just completes in me, you know? 29 00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:48,360 Did you say, "Completes in you"? 30 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,918 You know, that reminds of the love shared between Peeta and Katniss in The... 31 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:55,119 I'm gonna need you to stop talking about that book. 32 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,119 No, I will not stop talking about a novel 33 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,999 that blogcritics.org/reviews said was "a page-turner." 34 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,679 Have you even read it? 35 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,480 I'd love to, man. It's just hard to find time to enrol in 7th grade and cut off my nuts. 36 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:13,559 Well then, maybe I'll find it hard to find time to share my goodies. 37 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,038 Oh, nice. What do you got in there? 38 00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:17,959 I've got all kinds of fun stuff. 39 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,160 I have Chernobyl potato vodka, 40 00:03:22,159 --> 00:03:23,760 standard-issue roofies, 41 00:03:24,479 --> 00:03:27,040 I've got Chinese black tar heroin, 42 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,640 I've got drug mule rectum-release opium, 43 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,359 and some plug-in air fresheners. 44 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:35,720 How did that get in here? 45 00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:38,079 All right. You got any bath salts? 46 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:39,239 Tons. Help yourself. 47 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,918 I've also got skunk, skoof, skat, flippers, 48 00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:44,758 flappers, floppers, uppers, downers, 49 00:03:44,759 --> 00:03:46,718 and cyanide chewables. 50 00:03:46,719 --> 00:03:48,959 Cyanide? Poison is the best. 51 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,478 Hey! Those are my fun-time candies! 52 00:03:51,479 --> 00:03:52,679 No. 53 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,839 Every time we go out, we end up blacked out and looking for somebody. 54 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,280 Vegas. Thailand. My nephew Ruben's Bar Mitzvah. 55 00:03:59,479 --> 00:04:01,279 Whatever, we got him back in time for the service. 56 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,800 Yeah, and then he puked all over the Torah. 57 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,080 - Classic. - No, not classic. That is a holy document. 58 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,720 All right, let's just get Zach dressed and head to the roof. 59 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,360 Dressed? 60 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,638 Small request, you guys. Could somebody scratch my nuts? 61 00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:29,800 I respectfully decline. 62 00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:33,599 - Non-alcoholic beer? - I told you. No risks tonight. 63 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,960 Pussy! 64 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,080 Excuse me, I was calling you a pussy. 65 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,320 All right. 66 00:04:40,399 --> 00:04:42,039 Let's put our shitty rehab beers up 67 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,200 and toast Doug and Tracey. 68 00:04:44,519 --> 00:04:47,878 I never thought your soulmate would have an Adam's apple and a penis, 69 00:04:47,879 --> 00:04:50,398 but, hey, life's a journey, I guess. 70 00:04:50,399 --> 00:04:51,720 We're happy for you, man. 71 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,878 Thanks, guys. 72 00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:55,398 To Doug and Tracey. 73 00:04:55,399 --> 00:04:57,960 - To Doug and Tracey. - And 74 00:04:58,079 --> 00:05:01,000 to a night we'll never forget. 75 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,320 Those look really good. 76 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,160 Could you just pour it in my cone? 77 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,960 What the fuck? 78 00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,920 Oh, God. 79 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,280 What? 80 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,680 Scuba guy on the ceiling. That makes sense. 81 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,360 Jesus! 82 00:06:16,639 --> 00:06:19,360 - You stepped on my balls, dude. - Sorry. 83 00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:21,880 Where the hell are we? 84 00:06:23,079 --> 00:06:24,880 Fuck if I know. 85 00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:29,320 All I know is I am hungover as shit right now. 86 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,840 I think I'm legally dead. 87 00:06:32,319 --> 00:06:34,560 And my mouth tastes assy. 88 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,440 Please tell me I ate cheese. 89 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,080 I don't know. My ass kind of hurts. 90 00:06:40,639 --> 00:06:42,280 Oh, no! Did I do cocaine? 91 00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:45,200 I'm deathly allergic to cocaine. 92 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,680 And I'm allergic to gluten. 93 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,239 I hope that's gluten-free. 94 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,440 Oh, no. 95 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,720 Did we kill Waldo last night? 96 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,200 Maybe he was fucked to death. 97 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,200 Morning, fellas! 98 00:07:02,439 --> 00:07:05,119 God damn it, who let Zach out of the straitjacket? 99 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,559 Is that a man-thong? 100 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,240 No, it's a regular thong. I wear them all the time. 101 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,679 That's disgusting. 102 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,318 Okay, we need to find Doug and get the hell out of here. 103 00:07:14,319 --> 00:07:16,638 Somebody call him. Where's my phone? 104 00:07:16,639 --> 00:07:20,040 Oh, holy shit. Is this a rocket launcher? 105 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,680 Zach? 106 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,799 - Dude! - Come on, we have to find Doug. 107 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,320 But that was... 108 00:07:28,079 --> 00:07:31,560 Oh, my. Gentlemen, this is quite a mess. 109 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:36,600 Okay, this is awkward, but I'm just gonna go ahead and ask, 110 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,398 maid or hooker? 111 00:07:38,399 --> 00:07:42,240 Manners! That is no way to speak to your escort. 112 00:07:42,519 --> 00:07:45,240 I always ask. The answer's always the same. 113 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,960 It's been real nice talking to you, but we're just gonna go. 114 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,280 - I wouldn't do that. - Okay. 115 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,280 We're on a fucking train? 116 00:08:02,839 --> 00:08:04,159 I knew it! 117 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,239 That means you're Effie Trinket! 118 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,878 No, my name is Effing. 119 00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:10,958 And the three of you are on your way to the Games. 120 00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:13,320 We discussed this all after your courageous gesture. 121 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,561 Why don't you look at your phone? 122 00:08:18,879 --> 00:08:21,960 Fucking Reaping, bitches! 123 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,159 Doug's trying to kiss me again! 124 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,599 Doug, how you doing, buddy? 125 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,120 Fucking Reaping, bitches! 126 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:35,199 The first name of the girl... 127 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,038 - Why is Lady Gaga on the screen? - ...of the Games goes to... 128 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,599 Change the channel! 129 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,280 young Boo! 130 00:08:41,879 --> 00:08:43,518 And now for the boys. 131 00:08:43,519 --> 00:08:45,360 I volunteer! 132 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,798 We volunteer for the Hungover Games! 133 00:08:49,799 --> 00:08:52,040 What a wonderful development! 134 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,160 Three of our brave volunteers to add to the race. 135 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,359 May the chances be ever in your corner. 136 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,439 Attica! Attica! 137 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,038 Okay, okay. 138 00:09:04,039 --> 00:09:05,360 Hey! 139 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,079 Okay. 140 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,480 Will you keep it down? 141 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,120 I can hardly hear myself drink. 142 00:09:13,159 --> 00:09:14,840 Haymitch! 143 00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:18,640 That's not my name, you scruffy half-tard. 144 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,479 It's Justmitch. 145 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,839 Look, I'm enjoying all of this. 146 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,199 I really am. 147 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:30,599 Especially that little blonde schoolgirl situation you've got going on right there. 148 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:34,880 But right now we really just need to find our friend and be on our way. 149 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,960 The Sponsors will eat that bromance shit up with a spoon. 150 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaking of which. 151 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,600 Okay, let me guess, now you're gonna tell us how to win the Games? 152 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:52,038 If you wanna live long enough to find your pansy little friend, 153 00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:54,040 you'd best learn to listen to me. 154 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,920 If there's two things I know, it's hangovers 155 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,240 and murdering for sport. 156 00:10:01,799 --> 00:10:04,359 And, hey, if you're lucky enough, 157 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,600 one of y'all might get out of here alive. 158 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,758 Did you just say "one" of us? 159 00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:14,400 Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta find a vein. 160 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,760 You're watching Capitol Sports. 161 00:10:24,519 --> 00:10:27,518 Skip, it's my favourite time of the year. 162 00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:31,079 The weather is warming, the tig ol' bitties is coming out 163 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,359 and right now, it's time for the Hungover Games! 164 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,038 A great competition shaping up this year. 165 00:10:36,039 --> 00:10:38,439 Contestants from the Superheroes District 166 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,558 and the Middle Earth District are once again among the favourites. 167 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,758 The Puppet District and the Depp District are particularly intriguing to 168 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,320 Stephen A. Timplesmith. 169 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,678 Johnny Depp. Is there any weirdo this guy won't play? 170 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:49,758 Straight freak! 171 00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:52,839 Next up, we have The Real Housewives of District 8. 172 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,638 Now these trashy bitches 173 00:10:55,639 --> 00:10:58,599 have about a OO_ chance of surviving the Games. 174 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,678 White girls! Got me one at home. 175 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,280 Next up, we've got the Django District. 176 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,918 Now Django is tough, but let's get this straight, Skip. 177 00:11:06,919 --> 00:11:10,120 He will never be LeBron. 178 00:11:10,159 --> 00:11:11,439 Now, on the Django team 179 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,918 we have famed plantation owner Calvin Dandy. 180 00:11:14,919 --> 00:11:17,200 Ironically, he's a good friend of mine. 181 00:11:18,159 --> 00:11:21,158 All right, next up we have the Gratuitous Nudity District. 182 00:11:21,159 --> 00:11:22,800 Dizzamn! 183 00:11:23,039 --> 00:11:25,999 Everybody knows you cannot make entertainment like this 184 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,319 without some inexplicable, unwarranted nudity. 185 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,678 And finally our field is rounded out by our outlying districts. 186 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,960 District 9, Avatar. 187 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,200 District 10, Horror. 188 00:11:37,639 --> 00:11:40,239 District 11, Katnip Everlean. 189 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,638 District 12, The Hungover Guys. 190 00:11:42,639 --> 00:11:45,200 Hey! That looks like us and Doug! 191 00:11:46,279 --> 00:11:49,638 Look, we've got about 48 hours to find him 192 00:11:49,639 --> 00:11:51,638 and get him back to that wedding. 193 00:11:51,639 --> 00:11:53,040 Okay. 194 00:11:53,159 --> 00:11:55,600 I guess it's time for us to kill some motherfuckers. 195 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,080 I have the power! 196 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,280 Come on, cunt. 197 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,320 Oh, foo. Another year, another murder. 198 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,800 What a crop of freakazoids. 199 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:22,758 Stop swinging that in my face. 200 00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:24,359 That is dangerous. That is not a toy! 201 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,439 Zach, will you stop? You're making us look like idiots. 202 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,400 No, Mr I Can't Even Pick Up This Boulder. 203 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,439 You're making us look bad in front of the Sponsors. 204 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,278 Why are they all dressed like that? 205 00:12:39,279 --> 00:12:42,000 Looks like a Lady Gaga family reunion. 206 00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:44,440 Look, you see that? 207 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,678 Our odds are pretty shitty right now. 208 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:49,120 Hey, why do the puppets have better odds than us? 209 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,840 Cross-checking... 210 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:03,600 Excuse me. Sorry, I hate to bother you with this, but my friend is stuck. 211 00:13:10,159 --> 00:13:11,678 World War Z, right? 212 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:13,440 No. Walking Dead, actually. 213 00:13:13,519 --> 00:13:15,462 Oh, right, right. You were the one that bit that 214 00:13:15,463 --> 00:13:17,385 guy's ear and then ate his face off, right? 215 00:13:17,399 --> 00:13:18,800 Guilty. 216 00:13:19,519 --> 00:13:21,960 So who else came from your district? 217 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,400 Just that crazy blood-covered bitch over there. 218 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,719 She scares the shit out of me. 219 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,160 I can see why. 220 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:37,360 Wow. Kaptain Kazakhstan is really rocking that burlap sack. 221 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,038 Look at the size of those Oompa Loompas. 222 00:13:40,039 --> 00:13:41,359 You're welcome. 223 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,918 That's quite a bit of shrubbery he has down there. 224 00:13:43,919 --> 00:13:46,480 Can you say, "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia"? 225 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:58,680 Listen. 226 00:13:58,759 --> 00:14:00,960 They're looking at you like you're a meal. 227 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,360 Especially that flamboyant Scandinavian guy. 228 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,480 He wants to roll you in sugar like a dick churro. 229 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,719 So what am I supposed to do? 230 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,240 They need to know that you can take a punch. 231 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,840 What? 232 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,920 Yeah. Trust me. 233 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,000 Okay. 234 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,038 Okay, I'm good. 235 00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:30,480 All right, I'm good. 236 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,918 The elbow didn't count. Come on, come on. 237 00:14:34,919 --> 00:14:37,600 Now, just remember, this hurts you more than it hurts me. 238 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,079 Why, dude? Why? 239 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,880 I don't know. I forgot why we're even doing this. 240 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,319 I'm pooped. 241 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,560 I want a vitamin water or something. 242 00:14:51,799 --> 00:14:53,280 Not bad. 243 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,239 That means I need a vitamin water! 244 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,960 Okay, okay, I'll get it! I'll get a vitamin water for you! 245 00:15:02,879 --> 00:15:04,440 Not again. 246 00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:17,680 My right nut is numb. 247 00:15:18,039 --> 00:15:19,880 I can take a hit, Zach. 248 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,479 I can give one, too. 249 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,079 You ready for the thunder? 250 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,680 Well, here's the lightning! 251 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,638 Oh, son of a hooker, that hurt! 252 00:15:27,639 --> 00:15:28,216 Hey, watch it! 253 00:15:28,217 --> 00:15:30,278 Sorry, I didn't see anything, I swear to God! 254 00:15:30,279 --> 00:15:32,000 - My elbow may have grazed... - Ed. 255 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:34,800 Hey... 256 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,520 Okay. 257 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,440 How are you? 258 00:15:40,519 --> 00:15:42,320 - Hey... - Hi. 259 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,560 you. 260 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,280 You don't remember me. 261 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,359 It's Katnip. 262 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,160 Katnip Everlean. 263 00:15:52,279 --> 00:15:54,798 I'm sorry. It's just that last night, we... 264 00:15:54,799 --> 00:15:56,920 - You were wasted. - Yeah. 265 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,558 You guys bought us drinks after the Reaping. 266 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:03,080 You said you were going district-hopping, and you up and left. 267 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,400 Jeez! You guys clearly have a drinking problem! 268 00:16:06,639 --> 00:16:09,079 Is that a talking bird? 269 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,719 I'm a talking jay, you birdbrain. 270 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,398 For a nerd, you're pretty dumb. 271 00:16:13,399 --> 00:16:15,918 Sorry. He's really nice once you get to know him. 272 00:16:15,919 --> 00:16:17,839 Yeah, just ask your mom. 273 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,199 That's rude. 274 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,760 Go away. How are you feeling, by the way? 275 00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:24,558 Well, besides the raging hangover, 276 00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:26,638 the free-for-all death match coming up, 277 00:16:26,639 --> 00:16:29,800 and the shit taste I can't get out of my mouth, 278 00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:32,758 I'm actually doing great. 279 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,120 Hey, look, it's Dumb and Dumberer. 280 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,758 A talking jay. 281 00:16:37,759 --> 00:16:39,920 So elegant. 282 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,959 Hey, get your mitts off me! 283 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,600 Where'd you go to school, Penn State? 284 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,439 Wow, okay, yeah. 285 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,798 I'm not even gonna try to process that right now. 286 00:16:54,799 --> 00:16:56,360 Excuse me? 287 00:16:56,759 --> 00:16:59,758 - It's Katnip, Bradley. We met last night. - Yeah, Bradley. 288 00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:02,599 Yeah, right, okay. About last night, 289 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,200 do you have any idea what happened to our friend Doug? 290 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,720 No. But I did wake up today and I saw you all volunteered. 291 00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:13,038 That was really brave of you. 292 00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:14,598 That is one word for it. 293 00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:16,679 No, seriously. You guys were talking about it so much 294 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,078 you inspired me to do it. 295 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,800 That's why I took my little sister's place. 296 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,640 That was stupid. Sorry. 297 00:17:24,039 --> 00:17:26,080 You have a little sister? 298 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,880 Is she into husky bearded guys with low-level personality disorders? 299 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,318 - Nice! - I like this girl. 300 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,560 That got more hand than apple. 301 00:17:38,319 --> 00:17:41,598 Attention, battlers, battlers, battlers. 302 00:17:41,599 --> 00:17:44,758 The training centre is now closed. 303 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,999 It is time to die. 304 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,760 Make that work. 305 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,120 That's my catchphrase, you know. "Make that work." 306 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,480 Hello? A little help here? 307 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:57,679 20, 19, 18, 308 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,639 20, 19, 18, 309 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,318 17, 310 00:18:02,319 --> 00:18:03,800 16, 311 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,318 15, 312 00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:06,798 14... 313 00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:09,680 - Doug! Dougie! - Doug man! 314 00:18:10,519 --> 00:18:12,159 Doug? Doug? 315 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,560 Doug! 316 00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:15,999 Doug? Where are you, man? 317 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,840 Where the fuck is he? 318 00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,080 - Doug? - Doug? 319 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,080 Was that him? 320 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,318 Hey, sweetheart. 321 00:18:28,319 --> 00:18:31,439 Looking for a white guy, yea high, generic, unfunny, 322 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,520 really forgettable. Was that him right now? 323 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,840 Come on, talk to me. 324 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,399 She's a goddamn mute or something. 325 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,720 Man, fuck you, white boy. 326 00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,479 What are you guys doing here? 327 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,959 You need to get to your tube room immediately. 328 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,000 - Okay, you don't have to manhandle me! - Oh, my tea! 329 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,200 You just got bubble tea all over my control panel. 330 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,240 Get him out of here! 331 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,680 16, 332 00:18:59,799 --> 00:19:00,919 15, 333 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,199 14, 334 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,439 13, 335 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:04,518 12... 336 00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:07,040 Jeez, guys. Portion control much? 337 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:08,880 9, 338 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,318 8, 339 00:19:10,319 --> 00:19:11,598 1, 340 00:19:11,599 --> 00:19:12,798 6, 341 00:19:12,799 --> 00:19:14,000 5, 342 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,520 4, 343 00:19:15,559 --> 00:19:16,760 3, 344 00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:18,358 2, 345 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:19,600 1. 346 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,640 No, no, no! Don't step of fthe platform, we'll explode! 347 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,640 Oh, God. 348 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,920 Oh, God. 349 00:19:37,839 --> 00:19:41,038 Now the contestants line up before the Pornucopia, 350 00:19:41,039 --> 00:19:43,439 no doubt picking out the weapons they wanna grab. 351 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,000 Doug, Doug, come on, man. Where are you? 352 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,078 He must be on the other side of that tent full of... 353 00:19:49,079 --> 00:19:51,640 What are those? Sex weapons? 354 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,720 Where the fuck are we? 355 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,919 This is a great time to mention that the weaponry has been provided by 356 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,120 Delta Venus, Queen of the Sex Toys. 357 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,720 Let the killing begin! 358 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,160 Shit, come on! Maybe we can find him before he gets slaughtered. 359 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,600 I got this. Yeah. 360 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,520 Fuck! My hammie! I should've stretched! 361 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,040 Oh, I should've stretched first! 362 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,080 Yeah! 363 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,040 White wine! I hate white wine! 364 00:20:57,519 --> 00:20:59,280 Okay, barrel roll! 365 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,719 Shit, really? Are you all right? 366 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,040 - At least tell me that looked awesome. - Yeah. Sure. 367 00:21:06,319 --> 00:21:09,278 Oh, it's a red man. High five? 368 00:21:09,279 --> 00:21:11,400 No? How about this? 369 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,400 You like? 370 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,600 Put penis away, kemosabe. 371 00:21:53,519 --> 00:21:55,160 Is that labia? 372 00:22:00,559 --> 00:22:02,518 - That is a bear! - Wait, wait, wait, wait! 373 00:22:02,519 --> 00:22:04,879 Wait, wait! No, no, no! 374 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,038 Doug must have come up right here! Where is he? 375 00:22:07,039 --> 00:22:08,240 Fuck! 376 00:22:47,039 --> 00:22:48,520 Come back here! 377 00:22:48,599 --> 00:22:50,680 Fuck! And where's Zach? 378 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,960 Well, hey there, boy. 379 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,320 Goddamn women! 380 00:23:00,079 --> 00:23:01,558 Don't mind if I do. 381 00:23:01,559 --> 00:23:05,118 Now, now, don't do nothing foolish there, N-word. 382 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,480 I like the way you die, boy. 383 00:23:12,039 --> 00:23:13,560 Django's free! 384 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,199 - Take that, black! - Dude! 385 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,520 You like baseball, Jackie Robinson? 386 00:23:21,519 --> 00:23:22,880 - Shit! - Oh, that's cruel! 387 00:23:23,039 --> 00:23:25,280 Hey, you thirsty? Here's some tea! 388 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,078 - Teabag! - Oh, that's nasty. 389 00:23:27,079 --> 00:23:28,399 - That's real gross. - Bag, bag, bag! 390 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,838 Please stop. Just please stop. 391 00:23:29,839 --> 00:23:31,798 Wait, you want some fucking lemon? Yeah, bag it up! 392 00:23:31,799 --> 00:23:34,160 Come on! Jesus! 393 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,239 I know that looked bad, but, come on, 394 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,358 let's keep in mind that the purpose of this competition 395 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:39,639 is to kill people, yeah. 396 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,999 So that was technically not a hate crime. 397 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,879 I'm not a racist. I got like eight black guys on my fantasy football team. 398 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,798 I mean, not the quarterback obviously, that's a thinking man's position. 399 00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:50,240 Seriously? 400 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,160 - Oh, no, not this! - Fuck him! Go! 401 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,440 Whatever. 402 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,920 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 403 00:24:04,039 --> 00:24:06,838 Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! 404 00:24:06,839 --> 00:24:08,440 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 405 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,000 Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! 406 00:24:12,559 --> 00:24:15,598 I just watched Django get kerb-stomped by a teddy bear, 407 00:24:15,599 --> 00:24:18,199 two of our friends are MIA, and, oh, did I mention, 408 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,598 did I mention this, that my mouth still tastes like shit! 409 00:24:20,599 --> 00:24:22,199 All right, dude, quit being a baby. 410 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,598 My ass still hurts, too. You don't hear me whining about it. 411 00:24:24,599 --> 00:24:26,520 It just won't go away. 412 00:24:28,519 --> 00:24:30,199 What's happening, honkies? 413 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,518 - What the hell? Really? - That Asian guy! 414 00:24:32,519 --> 00:24:36,038 What? Oriental man cannot practise acrobatics in the woods? 415 00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:38,518 You racist assholes think I'm Viet Cong or something? 416 00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:40,399 Wait, why the fuck are you here? 417 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,239 We had a sick night last night. I still hung over. 418 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,199 Just tell us what the fuck happened, okay? 419 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,798 You mean you don't remember? 420 00:24:46,799 --> 00:24:48,000 No. 421 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,720 Human Centipede, bitches! 422 00:24:50,799 --> 00:24:52,719 What's a Human Centipede? 423 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,558 Human Centipede only the greatest idea ever. 424 00:24:55,559 --> 00:24:58,479 You sew a chain of people from asshole to mouth hole. 425 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,959 You share the same digestive system. 426 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,360 Check it out. 427 00:25:02,519 --> 00:25:04,200 We shit brothers! 428 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,118 I was the middle. 429 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,719 - No! - What the fuck? Fuck! 430 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,278 Why would we do that fucking... That's disgusting! 431 00:25:11,279 --> 00:25:13,639 You have really potty mouth. 432 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,640 You get it? Potty mouth! 433 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,480 Because your mouth was potty. 434 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:23,800 Just let it out, man. 435 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,640 Wait, hold on. I was in the front, so I didn't eat any shit? 436 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,360 Nope. You were total party pooper. 437 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:31,840 Literally. 438 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,479 Well, that's a relief, huh? 439 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,240 That's disgusting. 440 00:25:37,039 --> 00:25:38,680 It's getting really late. 441 00:25:38,759 --> 00:25:40,118 You know what they say 442 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,598 early to bed, early to Human Centipede. 443 00:25:42,599 --> 00:25:44,639 I gotta go Human Centipede with the Olsen twins. 444 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,278 They've done it before. 445 00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:47,800 See you gay boys later. 446 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,118 Let's find a place to sleep, buddy. It's been a long day. 447 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:56,719 Oh, Jesus! 448 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,400 - I didn't eat corn. - Yeah, I did. 449 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,518 Shit, human shit inside me. 450 00:26:09,519 --> 00:26:12,040 Hey, man, we've all been there. 451 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,200 Really? 452 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,199 Fuck no, I've never been there. 453 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,118 It's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. 454 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,400 It is real gross. 455 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,558 Hey, shit-for-breath, be quiet for a second. 456 00:26:21,559 --> 00:26:24,239 Look over there. Someone's got a fire going. 457 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,560 - That's dumb. - Yup. 458 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,719 I appreciate the spirited conversation, gentlemen, 459 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,518 but we all know there's no debate. 460 00:26:32,519 --> 00:26:35,078 I am the weirdest of all the Depps. 461 00:26:35,079 --> 00:26:39,960 I mean, for fuck's sake, I'm a pirate who sashays round like a bloody poof. 462 00:26:41,319 --> 00:26:43,840 And what of you there, top hat? 463 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,679 Well, I do have my fair share of psychological issues. 464 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,399 My speech patterns mirror those of sexual molesters. 465 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,160 I keep a bunch of dwarves as my slaves. 466 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,320 And I masturbate in the chocolate. 467 00:26:57,039 --> 00:26:59,360 Every single batch. 468 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,320 I think I might puke. 469 00:27:12,599 --> 00:27:14,399 Nice work, Tonto. 470 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,278 Say good night, weirdos. 471 00:27:16,279 --> 00:27:18,159 A bloody smoke signal! 472 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,518 You fucked us, you bloody Native! 473 00:27:20,519 --> 00:27:22,199 Tonto sick of white man. 474 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,040 Yes, but we're all Depps, mate! 475 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,200 Tonto especially sick of Depps. 476 00:27:27,319 --> 00:27:29,200 Are you gonna rape and murder us? 477 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,000 Keep it in your pants, Scissorhands. 478 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,800 Me next! Me next! 479 00:27:41,519 --> 00:27:45,080 If you don't mind, I prefer it in a chocolate factory. 480 00:27:50,279 --> 00:27:51,640 That's brutal. 481 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,560 Now that's what I call a deep throat. 482 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:58,199 That means a dozen gone in the first eight hours, Stephen A, 483 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,520 and I think I smell an alliance forming. 484 00:28:01,559 --> 00:28:04,358 What the fuck do you mean, an alliance? 485 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,758 If it's supposed to be every man for himself, they ain't gonna create no fucking alliance. 486 00:28:07,759 --> 00:28:09,479 They're gonna be out there killing each other. 487 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,798 That don't make no goddamn sense! 488 00:28:11,799 --> 00:28:14,639 I know. I can barely keep myself from killing you, Stephen A. 489 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,360 Can't fault you there. 490 00:28:19,279 --> 00:28:21,038 That creepy, pale guy was bananas! 491 00:28:21,039 --> 00:28:22,679 B-A-N-A-N-A-S! 492 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,600 Hey, Thor, we get it. You like cock. 493 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:26,959 Fuck, dude. 494 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,399 Don't stay here, don't stay here, don't stay here. 495 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,241 Anyway, guys, I'm pooped. What say we just stay here for the night? 496 00:28:31,559 --> 00:28:34,240 Do you guys think there's a Chili's out here? 497 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,120 I'll settle for an Applebee's, but it would be grudgingly. 498 00:28:39,319 --> 00:28:40,999 What the fuck is he doing with them? 499 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,239 I think he's looking for a reasonably priced casual dining restaurant. 500 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,399 Thor? 501 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,120 Awesome Blossom? 502 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,000 Tonto? Jalapeno poppers? 503 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,199 Something for you, Bloody? 504 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,598 If you talk to me again, I will murder your whole family 505 00:28:54,599 --> 00:28:58,038 and terrorise whatever little Podunk town you come from, you hear me? 506 00:28:58,039 --> 00:29:01,760 Okay, more fully loaded potato skins for me then. 507 00:29:01,839 --> 00:29:03,239 How about a bear claw? 508 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,280 Maybe a bun for the wiener? 509 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,240 All right, table for six, seven. Ladies? 510 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,719 You know, I don't think we fit the dress code. 511 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,640 Oh, it's a Chili's. You guys will be fine. 512 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:19,598 I kill him now, yes? 513 00:29:19,599 --> 00:29:20,758 No. 514 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,318 Let's lock him in a burning gymnasium 515 00:29:22,319 --> 00:29:25,480 and wait till his guttural screams slowly fade away. 516 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,480 Easy, Scary. 517 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,360 We need to keep that fat sack of Asperger's alive for now. 518 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,719 He's our best shot at finding those two other fuck nuggets. 519 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,080 Would you guys shush already? I need to get my beauty sleep. 520 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,480 I'm never gonna be able to sleep now. 521 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,560 I'm gonna have insomnia for sure. 522 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,240 This was the worst day ever. 523 00:30:15,759 --> 00:30:17,120 What the... 524 00:30:17,359 --> 00:30:18,679 Shit! 525 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,240 Jesus! Shut up, Ed. 526 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,280 They hit me with a fucking boulder. 527 00:30:23,799 --> 00:30:25,040 Hey! 528 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,000 She seems friendly. 529 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:35,959 What are you nodding at? 530 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,400 I don't... 531 00:30:39,599 --> 00:30:41,400 Use your fucking words! 532 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:55,278 She wants us to saw the hive off so that it falls onto them below. 533 00:30:55,279 --> 00:30:56,920 No fuckin' shit. 534 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,440 Vulgar little child. 535 00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:03,000 Oh, I have a Swiss Army knife. 536 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:04,760 Okay. 537 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,199 Hey, you know, I'm not really athletic. Do you mind just climbing up there? 538 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,080 - Take one for the team? - Come on. 539 00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:14,360 Nice. 540 00:31:19,119 --> 00:31:21,720 Oh, snap! Now looky here. 541 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,879 Them motherfucking hungover honkies got a trick up their sleeve. 542 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,999 Is that a Swagger Jacker nest, Skip? 543 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,518 Correct, you are. Now these guys are gonna have to be careful. 544 00:31:29,519 --> 00:31:32,399 Swagger Jackers are no ordinary bees. 545 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,318 They are genetically engineered wasps 546 00:31:34,319 --> 00:31:35,598 that when they sting you, 547 00:31:35,599 --> 00:31:38,318 they drain your body's natural swagger supply. 548 00:31:38,319 --> 00:31:41,318 In other words, they make you a straight bitch. 549 00:31:41,319 --> 00:31:44,480 Precisely. And just a few stings can prove lethal. 550 00:31:45,039 --> 00:31:47,239 I'm crossing my fingers, Skip. 551 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,520 Me, too. 552 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,040 I know you aren't trying to cut down our nest! 553 00:32:00,079 --> 00:32:02,240 - Does that hurt? - Yes, it hurt! 554 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,440 Dude, don't be a pussy. Saw! 555 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,320 Oh, God. 556 00:32:11,319 --> 00:32:13,720 They're not gonna sleep in much longer. Hurry up, man! 557 00:32:16,799 --> 00:32:17,959 Hurry up! 558 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:19,640 Get away from the nest, jerk-off! 559 00:32:23,279 --> 00:32:25,320 One flew in my fucking hole! 560 00:32:36,039 --> 00:32:37,560 Oh, Jesus. 561 00:32:40,359 --> 00:32:41,719 Hey, you okay? 562 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,240 A couple of Swagger Jack-offs stung me. 563 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,078 But I'm good. 564 00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:48,999 Hey, hey, hey, you sure? You don't look too good. 565 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,120 - I don't feel too good. - No, no, no, no! Bradley! 566 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,000 I'm coming for you! 567 00:32:59,799 --> 00:33:01,520 You guys see that? 568 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:03,719 Shit! Shit! 569 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,520 This jerk has literally no swag. 570 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,480 Hey! I was looking all over for you guys! 571 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,639 God, my face hurts. 572 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,318 Oh, I can feel my heartbeat in my ears. 573 00:33:21,319 --> 00:33:22,838 - It's throbbing. - It's really loud. 574 00:33:22,839 --> 00:33:25,880 - Hey. Does my head look weird? - It's so loud. 575 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,038 No. 576 00:33:27,039 --> 00:33:29,200 But your body is super tiny. 577 00:33:31,079 --> 00:33:32,399 It is? 578 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,520 Your body is super tiny, man. 579 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,440 Do I look okay? 580 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,000 Yeah. 581 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:41,598 You're cool. 582 00:33:41,599 --> 00:33:43,600 I am cool, thank you. 583 00:33:43,759 --> 00:33:46,240 This is napping cool time for me. 584 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,240 This is a terrible pillow. 585 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,760 Sleep sounds good. 586 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,440 Hi. 587 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,360 I've missed you. 588 00:34:10,679 --> 00:34:12,960 I've missed you, too, Katnip. 589 00:34:13,559 --> 00:34:16,399 - I'm only 17. - What? 590 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,558 Nothing. 591 00:34:17,559 --> 00:34:20,040 I have something to show you. 592 00:34:23,159 --> 00:34:24,360 Yes. 593 00:34:24,519 --> 00:34:25,720 Yes. 594 00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:29,080 No! 595 00:34:30,519 --> 00:34:32,439 Why? 596 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,759 Hey, are you having a wet hallucination, Ed? 597 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,279 Yeah, you know, a nocturnal emission? 598 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,759 God, just when I thought I couldn't hate you any more. 599 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,279 Hey, ease up. We didn't choose this way of life. 600 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,400 Yeah, it's no picnic. 601 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,198 You know how hard it is to motorboat yourself? 602 00:34:50,199 --> 00:34:51,640 God, please don't do it. 603 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,800 This is the worst wet dream of my life. 604 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,078 See? 605 00:34:57,079 --> 00:34:59,238 Zach, how can you even ruin boobs? 606 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,880 Hey, does my mouth look like a nipple? 607 00:35:05,519 --> 00:35:07,160 It kinda does. 608 00:35:08,679 --> 00:35:11,279 Okay, this is getting weird. Maybe we should wake him up. 609 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,678 Okay, okay, okay. 610 00:35:12,679 --> 00:35:14,120 On my count. 611 00:35:14,159 --> 00:35:17,760 One, two, three! 612 00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,399 Boom! 613 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:20,680 Boobies! 614 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,360 How long have we been out, man? 615 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,678 Couple days. 616 00:35:29,679 --> 00:35:31,879 - I've been licking your wounds. - What? 617 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,759 I've been watching you guys sleep, nursing you back to health. 618 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,000 Scrotal touching was just for medicinal purposes. 619 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,279 We saw those Swagger Jackers sting you, man. A lot. 620 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,999 Yeah, but their venom has no effect if you have no swagger to jack. 621 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,960 Hold on a second. 622 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,400 What the hell were you doing with that gang, man? 623 00:35:53,679 --> 00:35:55,480 You were gonna help them kill us? 624 00:35:56,559 --> 00:35:58,879 You guys, I don't do well with peer pressure. 625 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,320 I didn't really want to murder you. 626 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,720 But you would have? 627 00:36:07,159 --> 00:36:08,439 Oh, come on! 628 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,319 I'm sorry! I had a moment of weakness! 629 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,200 I nursed you back to health. Don't you feel swaggy? 630 00:36:14,119 --> 00:36:15,279 Yeah. 631 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:16,600 Yeah. 632 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,680 I really do, actually. 633 00:36:19,079 --> 00:36:20,439 It's because of this. 634 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:21,720 Swagger Balm. 635 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,279 "Ingredients, aloe, palm oil, 636 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:29,880 "and Kanye West extract?" 637 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,360 Tastes just like the real thing. 638 00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,238 Hey, boys. 639 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,120 We thought we smelt some swagger. 640 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,120 Puts the rocks down, buddy. 641 00:36:41,519 --> 00:36:45,400 I just wanna get sloppy drunk and slutty! 642 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,120 Way too late for that, sweetheart. 643 00:36:48,679 --> 00:36:51,000 - I get the blondes. - Okay. 644 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,000 That's rich! 645 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:59,840 So then I divorced that asshole and took half of everything. 646 00:37:00,119 --> 00:37:02,720 That's how I got my lucky charm. 647 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,399 Is it that ring? It's lovely. 648 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,319 I'm not talking about that. 649 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:08,718 I'm talking about 650 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:09,920 this. 651 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,118 Is that a fucking ball? 652 00:37:12,119 --> 00:37:13,800 Neat! 653 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:19,479 I told you, when I took half of everything, I meant half of everything. 654 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,198 You girls are such a treat. 655 00:37:22,199 --> 00:37:23,919 Great! Here's to good friends! 656 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:25,280 And you two bitches. 657 00:37:26,639 --> 00:37:28,598 Well, well, well, 658 00:37:28,599 --> 00:37:30,999 if it isn't the popular girls. 659 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,441 Nice blood outfit, honey, but that's worse than pleather. 660 00:37:33,639 --> 00:37:36,198 What is that, O positive? 661 00:37:36,199 --> 00:37:37,759 - Awful. - So last season. 662 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,920 - Oh, my God! - You got that on my Gucci dress! 663 00:37:40,079 --> 00:37:41,280 Bitch! 664 00:37:41,639 --> 00:37:44,440 - What are you doing? - Do you know how much this cost? 665 00:37:46,119 --> 00:37:48,038 Wait, I just wanna see where this is going! 666 00:37:48,039 --> 00:37:49,560 Zach, let's go! 667 00:37:50,039 --> 00:37:52,560 - Game, set... - No! No! 668 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:54,840 match! 669 00:37:57,639 --> 00:38:00,720 My tits are gonna melt! 670 00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:11,440 You wanted to see me, President Snowbama? 671 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,200 Tell me, have you ever been hungover? 672 00:38:15,599 --> 00:38:17,240 Why, yes. 673 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,800 I'm actually hungover right now. 674 00:38:20,119 --> 00:38:22,600 Never pass out in a crowded bar. 675 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,240 Yes, they shaved a dick on my face, sir. 676 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,720 These hungover contestants, people seem to care about them. 677 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,718 Yes? Is that a bad thing, sir? 678 00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:35,759 The Games are a distraction 679 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,198 so people won't notice the crap we peddle out. 680 00:38:38,199 --> 00:38:41,360 Sequels, remakes, spoofs. 681 00:38:43,119 --> 00:38:45,518 When people start to care, bad things happen. 682 00:38:45,519 --> 00:38:46,879 Ratings go down, 683 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,080 beards get shaved. 684 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,200 I've got it under control, sir. 685 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:03,480 It's a kitty cat. 686 00:39:03,639 --> 00:39:05,720 'Cause you're a little pussy. 687 00:39:09,559 --> 00:39:11,680 Thank you, Mr President. 688 00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:19,118 Shit! Any one of these cannon blasts could be Doug. 689 00:39:19,119 --> 00:39:20,879 We don't even know if he's still alive. 690 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,399 Hey, I'm scared, too, but the one thing that's not gonna get us 691 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,841 back to that gay wedding is sitting here crying about it. 692 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,280 There should only be a handful of contestants left. 693 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,320 - We can do this, man. - You guys. 694 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,919 Hey, since we're standing around sharing things, I've got a doozy. 695 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,840 What the hell did you do, Zach? 696 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,999 You know the air fresheners that I plugged in? 697 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,518 - Best thing you ever did. - They were delightful. 698 00:39:40,519 --> 00:39:45,319 Well, it wasn't Lilac or Morning Mist or Brazilian Breeze. 699 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,999 It was Midnight Berry. 700 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,880 What the shit is Midnight Berry? 701 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,880 From the novels. It's aromatic. 702 00:39:52,119 --> 00:39:54,520 What's so bad about that? 703 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:56,920 Well, I didn't finish my thought. 704 00:39:57,679 --> 00:40:00,879 It's aromatic, poisonous and lethal. 705 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,678 What the fuck is wrong with you? 706 00:40:02,679 --> 00:40:04,399 Are you kidding me? 707 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,279 I think you guys are getting hung up on the fact 708 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,198 that it's poisonous and lethal. 709 00:40:08,199 --> 00:40:10,080 They smell fresh. 710 00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:11,440 Smell. 711 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:13,720 - Jesus! - Fuck, man! 712 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,160 God! 713 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,959 Yeah, it says right here on the label, 714 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:23,279 "May cause transportation to futuristic dystopia." 715 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:24,359 "May." 716 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,518 You're the reason we're here, you sausage-fingered fuck! 717 00:40:26,519 --> 00:40:28,999 - This is all your fault! - Hey, you said you liked the scent! 718 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,879 Because I like floral scents! 719 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:31,959 Well, there, he said it! 720 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,760 So now I forgive you guys and we can move forward! 721 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:35,959 I... 722 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,840 I hope you die out here. 723 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:41,359 No. 724 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,080 You fucked up. 725 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,760 That was harsh. 726 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,399 The sloth is heading towards the soup pot. Over. 727 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,520 10-4, squaw without bra. 728 00:41:03,079 --> 00:41:04,320 Nice. 729 00:41:04,599 --> 00:41:06,760 Yeah. Real nice. 730 00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,279 Stupid Midnight Berry! 731 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,520 Why does something so fragrant have to be so bad? 732 00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,480 Thank God, thank God. Thank God. 733 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,440 Okay. Get outta the way. Get outta the way. 734 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,078 Yeah, that's more like it. 735 00:41:42,079 --> 00:41:43,280 There. 736 00:41:47,199 --> 00:41:50,840 I thought I'd never say this, but Daddy wants blue balls. 737 00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:10,720 Attention, everyone. Attention. 738 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,558 We have some new rules for you kids. 739 00:42:13,559 --> 00:42:15,038 From this point forward 740 00:42:15,039 --> 00:42:20,038 contestants of colour will be granted special consideration. 741 00:42:20,039 --> 00:42:22,680 Yes, I'm talking about affirmative action, people. 742 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:24,200 - It's the 21st century... - Zach! 743 00:42:28,679 --> 00:42:30,080 Whatever you say. 744 00:42:30,519 --> 00:42:34,479 I think I speak for all of us when I ask you to give us some privacy. 745 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:36,160 With pleasure. 746 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,760 Boys, have at him. 747 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:44,919 Nice weave, bitch. 748 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,760 Her hair is all natural. Take that back! 749 00:42:48,079 --> 00:42:50,840 You wanna kill her, you gotta kill me first. 750 00:42:57,519 --> 00:42:59,960 Blue scalp. Rarest of scalps. 751 00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:02,600 Your turn, dumpy. 752 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,720 Yeah! 753 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,680 Gratuitous nudity no match for gratuitous violence. 754 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:46,920 Farewell, my princess. 755 00:43:51,119 --> 00:43:53,360 Maybe just one more squeeze. 756 00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:58,240 Go in a bit tighter. 757 00:44:00,079 --> 00:44:02,560 What the hell is he doing? 758 00:44:06,519 --> 00:44:07,759 - Nothing on three. - I don't know. 759 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,120 Oh, no. 760 00:44:10,639 --> 00:44:12,000 Oh, no. 761 00:44:14,039 --> 00:44:16,840 Vivian, would you please get IT in here? 762 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:18,919 Oy vey. 763 00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,439 What up, bitches? 764 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,598 - You fix computers? - Hell yeah! 765 00:44:22,599 --> 00:44:26,600 I may be sociopathic gangster, but I'm still Asian, motherfuckers! 766 00:44:27,119 --> 00:44:28,238 What? 767 00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,839 No, no, no, I really don't think you should be messing around with that... 768 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,160 Finished! 769 00:44:33,079 --> 00:44:34,640 Excellent. 770 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,840 Thank you. 771 00:44:39,159 --> 00:44:41,240 We're back up, people. 772 00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,560 Oh, come on, Zach! That not cool. 773 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,238 Excuse me. You may leave now. 774 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,158 - What, I get no tip? - No. 775 00:44:50,159 --> 00:44:52,359 I take cash, credit, no cheque. 776 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,799 - But I'll take a bump of coke. - All right, get the hell out of here. 777 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,320 Chop-chop! 778 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,760 What to do, what to do? 779 00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:04,160 You wanna get the ratings up? 780 00:45:04,559 --> 00:45:07,280 I got one word for you, 781 00:45:09,519 --> 00:45:11,360 bromance. 782 00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,558 That's not a real word. 783 00:45:14,559 --> 00:45:17,520 You wanna give these districts a story? 784 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:23,600 Well, you need to keep these guys together. 785 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,200 Not separate. 786 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,640 I got one word for you, 787 00:45:33,199 --> 00:45:34,560 heroin. 788 00:45:36,119 --> 00:45:38,718 "Heroin" is the one word? 789 00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:39,920 No. 790 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,279 I'm just really looking for some. You holding? 791 00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:43,598 I'm sorry. 792 00:45:43,599 --> 00:45:45,720 I got one word for you, 793 00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:49,238 dicksauce. 794 00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,439 "Dicksauce"? "Dicksauce" is the one word? 795 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:52,879 You can't buy that shit. 796 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,160 Well, thank you. Your time here has been so valuable. 797 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,560 Bromance. 798 00:46:10,519 --> 00:46:12,240 Hey, hey, hey. 799 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,080 Is that water? 800 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,640 Fuck it, I'm thirsty as hell! 801 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,999 Don't put your mouth on that. It's gross. 802 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,680 Do you think it's filtered? 803 00:46:23,119 --> 00:46:25,760 - Really? - I only drink bottled water. 804 00:46:26,199 --> 00:46:28,518 - Didn't you just have shit in your mouth? - All right! Fine! 805 00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:30,799 I didn't intentionally have shit in my mouth. 806 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,400 It tastes a lot like blood, though. 807 00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:34,319 What? 808 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,919 Check, check. Hot mic. Hot mic. 809 00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,480 Attention, everyone. Attention. 810 00:46:39,599 --> 00:46:42,038 There has been a change in the rules. 811 00:46:42,039 --> 00:46:46,359 Yes, from now on, multiple victors may be crowned 812 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:50,960 if they survive the Games and share a long-standing bond 813 00:46:51,079 --> 00:46:53,678 of exceptional male bromance. 814 00:46:53,679 --> 00:46:55,118 They can do that? 815 00:46:55,119 --> 00:46:57,839 Yes, I am allowed to do this. 816 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,279 I can do whatever the fuck I want, I'm the motherfucking Gamesman! 817 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:01,359 Noted. 818 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,638 So good luck to you all 819 00:47:03,639 --> 00:47:07,120 and may the probabilities be ever to your liking. 820 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,158 So that means we can all get out of this alive. 821 00:47:11,159 --> 00:47:13,480 All we have to do is find Doug and 822 00:47:13,519 --> 00:47:15,638 - Zach! Zach! - Zach! Zach! 823 00:47:15,639 --> 00:47:16,840 We're sorry, buddy! 824 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,440 Zach! 825 00:47:21,079 --> 00:47:22,840 Where are you, man? 826 00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,200 You dropped your glasses. 827 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,440 Hey, quick question. 828 00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,598 If they can just change the rules at any time, 829 00:47:32,599 --> 00:47:35,400 why don't they just pick who they want to win and make it happen? 830 00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:37,999 This is confusing to me. 831 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,440 Don't worry about it, man. It's just a plot hole. 832 00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:43,960 - Hold on a sec. - What? 833 00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,799 Zach said they used these birds to find each other in the book. 834 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,080 Like by whistling to them. 835 00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:50,960 Worth a shot. 836 00:47:57,519 --> 00:47:59,880 - Yeah, that worked. - Shut up. 837 00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:02,680 - All right, one more time. Damn it. - Sure, I'll help. 838 00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,479 Suck my bird cock! 839 00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:08,879 - Come on! - Really? 840 00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:10,959 Marco! Marco! 841 00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,800 - We don't have time for this! - Marco! 842 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,198 Why couldn't you just say, "Polo"? 843 00:48:17,199 --> 00:48:18,678 There you are. 844 00:48:18,679 --> 00:48:20,238 Listen, not that I give a hoot, 845 00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:24,158 but your fat friend Zach's about a half mile away from here with Katnip. 846 00:48:24,159 --> 00:48:25,359 How do you know? 847 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,959 A little birdie told me. 848 00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:31,479 And by a little birdie, I mean a chickadee who gave me a beakjob. 849 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,118 You want to find this overgrown garden gnome? 850 00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:37,240 - Yeah. And Katnip. - And stop fucking yelling, man. 851 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:48,760 Anyway, that's why I'm not allowed to go near schools any more. 852 00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:51,118 Good to know. 853 00:48:51,119 --> 00:48:52,480 Yeah! 854 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,118 You guys! Oh, my God! 855 00:48:55,119 --> 00:48:56,840 I missed you guys so much! 856 00:49:00,159 --> 00:49:01,718 Yeah. Okay. 857 00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:03,040 Where's Katnip? 858 00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:04,920 She's over there. 859 00:49:07,079 --> 00:49:09,038 You've got the talking jay! 860 00:49:09,039 --> 00:49:12,439 Sorry, Bradley, but this guy just made me crap down your shirt. 861 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,198 Everything he says is so foul! 862 00:49:14,199 --> 00:49:16,319 - Yeah, he says disgusting stuff. - Come on! 863 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,000 Where are we going? Fuck. 864 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,400 Maybe I should tell her I'm... 865 00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:35,680 No, no, I should not. 866 00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:39,480 Wow, yeah, this is not... 867 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,440 This isn't pervy at all. Yes, it is. 868 00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,240 Hey! Perverted ass cracker! 869 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:48,680 Hey! 870 00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,238 Trees are nice here. 871 00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:52,440 Ed! 872 00:49:53,639 --> 00:49:55,518 Oh, my God, you're okay! 873 00:49:55,519 --> 00:49:56,800 Hey! 874 00:50:01,199 --> 00:50:06,360 That is a respect boner. A boner achieved out of respect. 875 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,400 You know I'm 17, right? 876 00:50:09,679 --> 00:50:11,759 What? I can't hear you! It just got real loud in here! 877 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,118 - Hey, guys, hey. - Hi. 878 00:50:14,119 --> 00:50:16,920 - No sign of Doug? - Nope. Nothing. 879 00:50:18,679 --> 00:50:20,238 Wait a minute. 880 00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:23,238 He came with your district. You were the last one to see him at the arena. 881 00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:25,880 Do you have any idea where he went? 882 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,280 Well, do you feel like telling us? 883 00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,919 - Okay, I've had about enough of this. - Hey, hey, hey, come on! 884 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,400 That's like a triple hate crime. 885 00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:39,680 Hey. 886 00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,359 They're just looking for their friend. 887 00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,880 Do you want to tell them? For me? 888 00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:58,200 You got Norsed! 889 00:50:58,639 --> 00:50:59,759 Shit! 890 00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,280 What the hell is wrong with you? 891 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:05,560 Oh, shit! 892 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,360 That took a while. Who wants to go get margaritas? 893 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:16,518 What the frick do we do now? 894 00:51:16,519 --> 00:51:19,960 I don't know, Zach, it's been a while since I've had to battle the God of Thunder! 895 00:51:23,199 --> 00:51:24,640 Hey, blondie! 896 00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:26,840 Pick on someone your own size! 897 00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:34,840 Yeah! Nice shot, Ed! 898 00:51:35,039 --> 00:51:38,718 I just killed a god. Did you guys see... 899 00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:39,960 Oh, shit. 900 00:51:43,119 --> 00:51:44,320 Hey. 901 00:51:45,079 --> 00:51:47,160 You okay? Come on, wake up. 902 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,160 You're a doctor, right? You can help her. 903 00:51:50,639 --> 00:51:52,400 I'm a dentist. 904 00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:54,440 Check her teeth. 905 00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,160 You guys wanna hear some Wu-Tang? 906 00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:23,440 She was so young. 907 00:52:23,559 --> 00:52:25,080 What a waste. 908 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,520 There there, buddy. 909 00:52:27,559 --> 00:52:29,760 She had so much ahead for her. 910 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,320 Her first kiss. 911 00:52:31,559 --> 00:52:33,280 Her first handjob. 912 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,440 Her first bukkake. 913 00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,638 Unless you guys wanna give her a send-off. 914 00:52:38,639 --> 00:52:40,520 - No. - Wow. 915 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:44,960 She's at peace. 916 00:52:45,039 --> 00:52:47,360 Or in some dark, endless abyss. 917 00:52:54,199 --> 00:52:55,480 Wait. 918 00:52:56,079 --> 00:52:58,160 We need to pay our respects. 919 00:52:58,360 --> 00:52:59,880 With a salute. 920 00:53:08,559 --> 00:53:10,280 Two in the pink. 921 00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:12,279 One in the stink. 922 00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,720 Forever. 923 00:53:32,039 --> 00:53:34,158 Can I ask you a serious question? 924 00:53:34,159 --> 00:53:35,879 Yeah, anything, man. 925 00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:39,000 Which one's the pink and which one's the stink? 926 00:53:39,159 --> 00:53:40,879 Because they're both pinkish. 927 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:42,680 And they both stink. 928 00:53:43,119 --> 00:53:44,320 Yeah. 929 00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:46,520 Remember when I told you to ask me anything? 930 00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,359 Forget I said that. 931 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:49,920 You don't know, do you? 932 00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:53,920 Hello. Attention, everyone. Attention. 933 00:53:54,039 --> 00:53:56,279 It is my profound pleasure 934 00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:58,479 to invite you all to 935 00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,920 - a feast! - Feast? 936 00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,480 And this will be no ordinary occasion. 937 00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:05,999 We know that you all want something 938 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,000 and you want it bad. 939 00:54:08,159 --> 00:54:11,320 And we are aiming to be very generous hosts. 940 00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:15,158 Now, there will be some weapons available, 941 00:54:15,159 --> 00:54:19,598 but I strongly suggest that you all BYO weapon. 942 00:54:19,599 --> 00:54:22,678 Because I don't wanna get blamed if we run out like the last time. 943 00:54:22,679 --> 00:54:24,040 That was embarrassing. 944 00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:29,400 I also really need someone to bring ice. 945 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,759 I had a sign-up sheet at the Reaping. 946 00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:34,118 Nobody fucking chose ice. What's the big deal? 947 00:54:34,119 --> 00:54:37,678 Come on, somebody. Be a rock star. Own it. 948 00:54:37,679 --> 00:54:39,680 Ice, out. 949 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,200 Has anyone seen a 7-Eleven out here? 950 00:54:43,159 --> 00:54:46,198 Attention, everyone. Attention. 951 00:54:46,199 --> 00:54:51,080 We are looking for a competitor named Harry Ballsonya. 952 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,080 Harry Ballsonya? 953 00:54:53,199 --> 00:54:56,279 Please report to the control room immediately. 954 00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:58,959 I repeat, Harry Ballsonya. 955 00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:00,879 This will be the... 956 00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:03,520 Oh, damn it! Who did this? 957 00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,840 You're making me look like a fucking asshole! 958 00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:20,200 We really should have brought ice. 959 00:55:20,519 --> 00:55:21,839 Don't worry about it. 960 00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:23,040 Hey! 961 00:55:23,159 --> 00:55:24,920 Is that a cell phone? 962 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,598 Maybe we can use it to call the wedding. 963 00:55:28,599 --> 00:55:30,359 Stall them or something. 964 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:31,920 - I'm on it. - Hey! 965 00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:33,999 I wouldn't do that. 966 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,240 See those lumps of dirt? 967 00:55:36,679 --> 00:55:38,158 Dog poops. 968 00:55:38,159 --> 00:55:39,680 Landmines. 969 00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,840 If you guys are gonna get through this, you better watch your step. 970 00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:45,200 Check it out. 971 00:55:59,639 --> 00:56:02,920 Hey, when you said "you guys," 972 00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,560 are you not coming with us? 973 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:09,080 I need to go find Tonto and kill him, 974 00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:11,320 but this is for you. 975 00:56:15,119 --> 00:56:17,080 Yeah, if you... 976 00:56:17,559 --> 00:56:20,038 If you just wait, we'll go with you. 977 00:56:20,039 --> 00:56:22,200 We can protect you. 978 00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,080 - Oh, you're serious. - Yeah. 979 00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:34,839 Look, the only reason I don't want you guys coming with me 980 00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,038 is because you would completely fuck it up. 981 00:56:37,039 --> 00:56:38,240 No offence. 982 00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:40,598 Okay. 983 00:56:40,599 --> 00:56:42,880 I really do love you. 984 00:56:44,599 --> 00:56:47,078 Frankly, I'm surprised you're still alive. 985 00:56:47,079 --> 00:56:48,305 Okay, got it. 986 00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:50,840 Bye, Ed. 987 00:56:53,039 --> 00:56:55,000 Yup, bye, Katnip. 988 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,880 - Be safe. - Yeah. 989 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,680 Try not to die. 990 00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:10,960 Sorry, buddy. She'll be back. 991 00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,920 Although unless she has a birthday in the next couple of hours, she'll still be 17. 992 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,920 Yeah, got it. 993 00:57:18,199 --> 00:57:20,879 I know we're in a futuristic dystopia and everything, 994 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:22,678 but jailbait is jailbait, brother. 995 00:57:22,679 --> 00:57:26,080 Yeah, what dating site did you get her from? J-Bait? 996 00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:27,480 Get it? 997 00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:29,880 Not now, Zach. But good one. 998 00:57:30,639 --> 00:57:32,480 Hey! Hey! 999 00:57:33,199 --> 00:57:34,919 What the fuck are you doing? 1000 00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:36,800 What Katnip would do. 1001 00:57:38,599 --> 00:57:40,880 Okay, I'm good. No. Shit. 1002 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,480 God damn it. 1003 00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:09,000 What? 1004 00:58:12,119 --> 00:58:13,400 What? 1005 00:58:23,119 --> 00:58:24,320 Hi. 1006 00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:29,840 You mind if I just grab a weapon? 1007 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,238 It's too bad you couldn't help your friend. 1008 00:58:45,239 --> 00:58:46,799 That generic straight man. What was his name? 1009 00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:48,040 Doug. 1010 00:58:48,079 --> 00:58:50,158 And he's not a straight man. 1011 00:58:50,159 --> 00:58:53,038 Well, he's probably long dead. 1012 00:58:53,039 --> 00:58:54,238 And soon, 1013 00:58:54,239 --> 00:58:57,240 you'll be long dead, too. 1014 00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:01,600 This is for threatening my friend! 1015 00:59:01,679 --> 00:59:04,038 This is for being a bitch to me in the woods! 1016 00:59:04,039 --> 00:59:06,038 This is for calling my hometown "Podunk"! 1017 00:59:06,039 --> 00:59:08,479 This is for not returning my sexts! 1018 00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,680 And this is for ruining the prom! 1019 00:59:14,719 --> 00:59:16,518 Holy fucking shit. 1020 00:59:16,519 --> 00:59:18,840 You just brutally murdered a young girl. 1021 00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:19,999 Yeah. 1022 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,638 And the weird thing is I thought it would take more hits. 1023 00:59:22,639 --> 00:59:24,560 But I guess you live and learn. 1024 00:59:24,719 --> 00:59:27,959 Or at least, she doesn't. Am I right? Am I right? 1025 00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:30,320 - Yeah, whatever you say. - Of course. 1026 00:59:30,679 --> 00:59:33,959 All right, look, we can still get out of this thing. 1027 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,118 We just gotta get this bromance thing back in gear. 1028 00:59:36,119 --> 00:59:38,360 Oh, be careful! Oh, Jesus. 1029 00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:43,320 If you were Doug, where would you be? 1030 00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:45,840 Maybe these guys can help us find him. 1031 00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:49,760 Hey, little buddies. 1032 00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,399 How are my favourite imitation puppets doing? 1033 00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:54,638 - Oh, fuck! My hammie, again! - Kick his ass! 1034 00:59:54,639 --> 00:59:56,158 Let's fuck him up! 1035 00:59:56,159 --> 00:59:59,160 Wait, wait! I thought you puppets were the good guys! What the fuck? 1036 00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:00,839 We used to be. 1037 01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,600 Yeah, but now we've stared death in the face. 1038 01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:06,598 We've seen the depths of human suffering. 1039 01:00:06,599 --> 01:00:08,919 - And we're already dead inside. - Yeah. 1040 01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,118 - That's awful. - My God, I'm sorry. 1041 01:00:11,119 --> 01:00:14,038 Come on, you bitch! Yeah, you scared coward! 1042 01:00:14,039 --> 01:00:16,118 You're not man enough to fuck with me! 1043 01:00:16,119 --> 01:00:18,479 You wouldn't last two minutes in my world, you bitch! 1044 01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:22,158 - Is that the Mike Tyson rant? - Fuck you. Fuck you, you ho. 1045 01:00:22,159 --> 01:00:23,844 I'll fuck your ass in front of everybody! 1046 01:00:23,845 --> 01:00:25,585 Yeah, that's definitely the Tyson. 1047 01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:27,720 Enough talk! Kill them! 1048 01:00:51,639 --> 01:00:54,160 A mine is a terrible thing to waste. 1049 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:56,879 That was actually a pretty good one, Zach. 1050 01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:57,999 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1051 01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,919 At least that was just my reader copy. 1052 01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:01,678 Guys, a little help? 1053 01:01:01,679 --> 01:01:04,320 You four-eyed fuck. You see this coming? 1054 01:01:07,559 --> 01:01:09,760 Fuck me! Right in the smarts! 1055 01:01:10,159 --> 01:01:11,799 That's painful! 1056 01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:13,240 But also hilarious. 1057 01:01:19,559 --> 01:01:21,240 That's my girl! 1058 01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,320 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you're hurt! 1059 01:01:31,639 --> 01:01:33,879 You should see the other guy. 1060 01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:35,919 - You killed Tonto? - Yeah. 1061 01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:38,999 Come on, we need to get you in the shade. Can you walk? 1062 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:42,160 It's okay, I got you. I got you, I got you. 1063 01:01:42,639 --> 01:01:44,320 Move! Move! 1064 01:01:44,559 --> 01:01:45,760 It's okay. 1065 01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:48,558 It's all right. You're gonna be okay. 1066 01:01:48,559 --> 01:01:51,120 It's okay, I got you. I got you. 1067 01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:53,840 I got you. There you go. 1068 01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:57,400 You're gonna be okay. It's all right, it's not that bad. 1069 01:01:57,519 --> 01:01:59,319 Ed, it's okay. 1070 01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,399 No, no, no, it's not okay! You need help. 1071 01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:04,160 Ed, one of us had to die. 1072 01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,040 - Well, I wish it was me. - Me, too. 1073 01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,518 - What? - Sorry. 1074 01:02:09,519 --> 01:02:11,919 - That slipped out. Sorry. - Yeah, that came out real fast. 1075 01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:13,520 It's okay. 1076 01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:15,800 Speaking of, 1077 01:02:16,599 --> 01:02:17,880 since... 1078 01:02:18,039 --> 01:02:23,000 Since this is it for me, do you want to see them? 1079 01:02:24,079 --> 01:02:25,480 See what? 1080 01:02:26,639 --> 01:02:28,760 My boobs, dummy. 1081 01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,040 I... 1082 01:02:32,119 --> 01:02:34,560 I would. Very much. 1083 01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:36,120 Okay. 1084 01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,960 I know you've been waiting for this. 1085 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,000 Pretty nice, huh? 1086 01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:53,920 Unbelievable. 1087 01:02:55,159 --> 01:02:56,440 Wow. 1088 01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:58,480 No tan lines. 1089 01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:00,680 Unbelievable. 1090 01:03:01,159 --> 01:03:04,600 But if he'd move a little bit, I could see them better. 1091 01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:06,720 - Ed? - Yeah, yeah. 1092 01:03:08,199 --> 01:03:11,440 The light is starting to fade. 1093 01:03:13,039 --> 01:03:16,440 Will you look deep into my eyes as I fade away? 1094 01:03:17,639 --> 01:03:19,520 Absolutely, Katnip. 1095 01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,598 - Ed, up here. - Yeah? I'm sorry. I love them. 1096 01:03:28,599 --> 01:03:31,200 I mean, I love you. I love all of you. 1097 01:03:32,239 --> 01:03:33,680 I know. 1098 01:03:34,679 --> 01:03:35,960 Goodbye. 1099 01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:38,560 I'll... 1100 01:03:39,719 --> 01:03:41,800 I'll see you soon enough. 1101 01:03:43,519 --> 01:03:44,920 Okay. 1102 01:03:51,599 --> 01:03:53,279 Wait, what's that supposed to mean? 1103 01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:54,439 Katnip? 1104 01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:57,400 Hey, do you know something I don't? Am I next? 1105 01:04:06,199 --> 01:04:07,879 Yeah, she's dead, that'd be weird. 1106 01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:09,161 That'd be weird. I'm sorry. 1107 01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:18,280 I think it's time we made the call. 1108 01:04:33,519 --> 01:04:35,038 Tracey, it's Bradley. 1109 01:04:35,039 --> 01:04:38,678 I don't know who you are or what you want. 1110 01:04:38,679 --> 01:04:40,999 Fuck, I think I dialled the wrong number. 1111 01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:45,120 What I do have are a particular set of skills. 1112 01:04:45,519 --> 01:04:48,200 If you give my daughter back to me now, 1113 01:04:48,519 --> 01:04:50,200 that'll be the end of it. 1114 01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:51,718 But if you don't... 1115 01:04:51,719 --> 01:04:53,880 - Okay. - I will... 1116 01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:55,240 Crazy. 1117 01:04:56,079 --> 01:04:58,720 Definitely not Tracey. Let me try again. 1118 01:05:04,519 --> 01:05:06,800 - Hello? - Tracey, it's Bradley. 1119 01:05:07,599 --> 01:05:09,640 Hey, man, what's wrong? 1120 01:05:10,519 --> 01:05:12,238 I don't know. 1121 01:05:12,239 --> 01:05:14,678 The first girl I ever loved just died. 1122 01:05:14,679 --> 01:05:17,839 I watched you murder a girl with your bare hands. 1123 01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:19,399 We're as good as dead. 1124 01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:22,799 And the worst part is we lost our best friend. 1125 01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:24,600 That's what's wrong. 1126 01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:28,718 I can't help but accept some responsibility for this. 1127 01:05:28,719 --> 01:05:31,078 Yeah, no, I blame you for the majority of it. 1128 01:05:31,079 --> 01:05:34,638 Seriously? I mucked up the bachelor party. 1129 01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:37,760 I got us stuck in some weird alternate universe. 1130 01:05:38,159 --> 01:05:40,840 This whole thing just went right down the tubes! 1131 01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:44,480 I didn't even get to be a part of the Human effing Centipede. 1132 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:46,959 What did you just say? 1133 01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:51,480 I don't care how awkward it is, sharing a gastric system is a life experience. 1134 01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:53,399 I could have scrapbooked about it. 1135 01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:55,360 No, no, before that. 1136 01:05:55,960 --> 01:06:00,120 This whole thing went down the tubes. 1137 01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,200 Doug! 1138 01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,200 Are you having a flashback montage? 1139 01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:14,480 The tubes! I know where Doug is! Bradley! 1140 01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:16,920 - Where are you? What's going on? - Bradley! 1141 01:06:18,159 --> 01:06:20,078 Bradley? Bradley? 1142 01:06:20,079 --> 01:06:21,400 Bradley? Bradley? 1143 01:06:21,719 --> 01:06:23,279 Hey, Tracey! It's Ed! 1144 01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:27,479 Ed! Ed, what in the H-E-double hockey sticks is going on? 1145 01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:29,479 We're gonna go pick up Doug right now, 1146 01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,439 so don't you worry your pretty little man face about it. 1147 01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:34,359 Okay, but we gotta go. We'll see you real soon, bye! 1148 01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:35,759 What the fuck, man? 1149 01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:37,678 I know where Doug is! Come on! Go! 1150 01:06:37,679 --> 01:06:39,560 Let's go, let's go! 1151 01:06:40,199 --> 01:06:42,680 Hello? Hello? 1152 01:06:45,039 --> 01:06:46,759 This is it! Doug's tube never came up! 1153 01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:51,320 What? 1154 01:06:51,639 --> 01:06:54,480 Well, if he's not down there, where the hell is he? 1155 01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,359 Okay, let's face it. 1156 01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:58,439 Doug's not in the tube. 1157 01:06:58,440 --> 01:07:01,319 There was no sign of him in the arena. He is gone. 1158 01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:02,518 That is a fact. 1159 01:07:02,519 --> 01:07:05,320 You fucking idiots! 1160 01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:11,520 - God-fucking-damn it! - Jesus! 1161 01:07:11,559 --> 01:07:14,040 That bush is angry! 1162 01:07:14,159 --> 01:07:17,038 I'm not "that bush," you bearded piece of afterbirth! 1163 01:07:17,039 --> 01:07:18,480 It's me! Doug! 1164 01:07:20,719 --> 01:07:23,160 Shut up! All you guys, just shut the fuck up! 1165 01:07:23,920 --> 01:07:27,879 You guys forget me all the fucking time! 1166 01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:30,839 In Vegas! In this fucked-up alternate universe! 1167 01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:33,999 - Yeah. - I'm barely in the goddamn movie trailer! 1168 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,399 It's true, I don't even think he's on the poster. 1169 01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:38,678 I never get any punchlines, 1170 01:07:38,679 --> 01:07:43,678 and you keep leaving me in enclosed fucking places! 1171 01:07:43,679 --> 01:07:47,399 You think maybe we can talk to you about this at sea level? 1172 01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:49,000 Not this time. 1173 01:07:50,199 --> 01:07:53,158 This time, I get the last laugh. 1174 01:07:53,159 --> 01:07:55,279 Jeez, dude! Wait, wait, wait! 1175 01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:57,638 You're right! You're right! We're sorry. 1176 01:07:57,639 --> 01:07:59,638 We haven't given you your proper due. 1177 01:07:59,639 --> 01:08:03,000 You are the perfect blend of handsome and humourless. 1178 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:06,600 Without you, there are no jokes. Hell, without you, there is no us. 1179 01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:08,600 You may be a gay man, 1180 01:08:09,239 --> 01:08:12,760 but you are the best damn straight man we've ever met. 1181 01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:20,920 I could never murder you guys. 1182 01:08:21,960 --> 01:08:24,320 - You! - Wait here one second. 1183 01:08:29,199 --> 01:08:30,840 You guys! 1184 01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:32,560 That worked great! 1185 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:35,318 I'm so glad you're alive, man! 1186 01:08:35,319 --> 01:08:37,080 Bradley, bring it in! 1187 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,599 You guys, this is just perfect. 1188 01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:46,320 Nothing could possibly ruin this moment. 1189 01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:48,879 Hello out there, everybody. 1190 01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,158 Hey, remember that earlier 1191 01:08:51,159 --> 01:08:53,639 "bromance revision" I was telling you guys about? 1192 01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,839 Well, you can forget about that. 1193 01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:59,198 There's only gonna be one winner of the Hungover Games. 1194 01:08:59,199 --> 01:09:04,080 So if you're a foursome of dudes who recently bro-conciled, 1195 01:09:04,199 --> 01:09:05,879 you're gonna have to kill each other. 1196 01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:07,599 You just have to fight to the death. 1197 01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:10,078 I'm sorry, I don't make up the rules. 1198 01:09:10,079 --> 01:09:12,278 Wait, I do. 1199 01:09:12,279 --> 01:09:14,198 I do make up the rules. 1200 01:09:14,199 --> 01:09:16,118 Suckers! 1201 01:09:16,119 --> 01:09:18,765 Well, good luck and may the odds be forever 1202 01:09:18,766 --> 01:09:21,705 in your blah-blah-blah, et cetera, et cetera. 1203 01:09:22,039 --> 01:09:23,800 This is gonna be good. 1204 01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:26,480 Nope. No way. 1205 01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:07,400 Wait, why are all these weapons shaped like dicks? 1206 01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:11,318 All right, listen, guys. Listen up. Let's talk about this. 1207 01:10:11,319 --> 01:10:13,879 I can't die now. I'm about to get married. 1208 01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:15,759 I have a wife and kids at home. 1209 01:10:15,760 --> 01:10:18,559 I just lost Katnip! She was my everything. 1210 01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:21,519 - She was also very much underage. - Seriously? 1211 01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:22,919 Ed, buddy, there are laws against that. 1212 01:10:22,920 --> 01:10:25,478 You can't statutory rape your soulmate. 1213 01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:28,719 Jeepers creepers! You guys, don't you remember? 1214 01:10:28,720 --> 01:10:29,999 We're a brotherhood! 1215 01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:32,118 You heard the announcement. It's every man for himself. 1216 01:10:32,119 --> 01:10:34,680 No! I have an idea. 1217 01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:36,599 We all need to eat these. 1218 01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:38,999 They're Midnight Berries. It's the only way to end this. 1219 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,398 That is what got us into this mess in the first place. 1220 01:10:41,399 --> 01:10:43,599 Yeah, these berries would kill us. 1221 01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:46,719 But the Capitol won't even let us swallow them. 1222 01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:49,559 They'd rather have four winners than no winner. 1223 01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:51,919 So before we even get these in our mouths 1224 01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:53,679 they'll cancel the whole thing. 1225 01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:55,478 You have to trust me. 1226 01:10:55,479 --> 01:10:56,759 Absolutely not. 1227 01:10:56,760 --> 01:11:02,080 Doubt me all you want, but don't doubt my knowledge of young adult fiction. 1228 01:11:06,319 --> 01:11:07,478 I'm in. 1229 01:11:07,479 --> 01:11:08,680 What? 1230 01:11:09,239 --> 01:11:10,520 Me, too. 1231 01:11:11,119 --> 01:11:12,440 Really? 1232 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:16,360 Fine. 1233 01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:19,000 Me, too. I'm in. 1234 01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:22,880 But only because I love you guys. 1235 01:11:23,159 --> 01:11:24,440 Okay. 1236 01:11:25,199 --> 01:11:27,160 On the count of three. 1237 01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:29,760 One. 1238 01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:31,040 _wo. 1239 01:11:31,079 --> 01:11:32,560 Three. 1240 01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:43,760 What do we do now? 1241 01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:53,720 - Come on! - Kinda tasty. 1242 01:11:59,119 --> 01:12:02,680 Zach, you dumb motherfucker! 1243 01:12:14,319 --> 01:12:15,840 What the... 1244 01:12:16,119 --> 01:12:17,360 Morning. 1245 01:12:17,520 --> 01:12:20,038 - You guys sleep well? - Yeah. 1246 01:12:20,039 --> 01:12:21,560 Pretty well. 1247 01:12:23,199 --> 01:12:25,080 Anyone have floss? 1248 01:12:25,199 --> 01:12:28,280 I think I've got Midnight Berry seeds stuck in my teeth. 1249 01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:30,041 Wait, wait. What time is it? 1250 01:12:31,319 --> 01:12:34,360 - It's 10:00 a.m. - We'll never make the wedding. 1251 01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:36,080 Wanna bet? 1252 01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:41,160 You guys think you can take me out of the straitjacket now? 1253 01:12:41,359 --> 01:12:44,278 Guys, I am just so pumped to be a real member of this group. 1254 01:12:44,279 --> 01:12:46,719 It's so cool you're gonna let me have more lines in the next movie. 1255 01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:48,337 That's right, yeah. Totally gonna happen. 1256 01:12:48,338 --> 01:12:49,825 Yeah, more lines, definitely. 1257 01:12:52,279 --> 01:12:55,160 Come with me if you want to attend a gay wedding. 1258 01:12:57,560 --> 01:13:00,920 Sorry. Getting here was a real bloodbath. 1259 01:13:01,079 --> 01:13:03,679 - What the fucksticks, you guys? - Honey, 1260 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:05,959 I am so, so, so sorry. 1261 01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:09,080 You had better have a good explanation for this. 1262 01:13:09,239 --> 01:13:12,078 Trace, the last three days were, without a doubt 1263 01:13:12,079 --> 01:13:16,318 the most backwards, fucked up, inexplicable experience of my entire life. 1264 01:13:16,319 --> 01:13:18,560 I saw brutal death. 1265 01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:22,600 I saw murderous talking puppets. I saw gay Thor. 1266 01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:25,680 But all I could think about was you. 1267 01:13:27,159 --> 01:13:28,920 Can you forgive me? 1268 01:13:30,119 --> 01:13:31,480 Well, 1269 01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:35,640 boys will be boys. 1270 01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:42,320 So are we gonna talk about last night? 1271 01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:43,800 Okay. 1272 01:13:44,079 --> 01:13:46,839 Whatever the hell we think happened, it obviously didn't really happen. 1273 01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:49,559 Zach just got in our heads with that dumb book of his, 1274 01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:52,240 so just forget about it and move on. 1275 01:13:52,399 --> 01:13:56,000 I'm over it, too. I'm onto fifty Shades now. 1276 01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:59,520 This rich guy is erotic. 1277 01:14:00,439 --> 01:14:02,599 You know what? You guys are wrong. 1278 01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:04,599 Over the course of one day, I loved, 1279 01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:08,118 I lost, and I almost died, like, 10 times. 1280 01:14:08,119 --> 01:14:09,759 You also ate a boatload of shit. 1281 01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:11,158 Thank you for the reminder. 1282 01:14:11,159 --> 01:14:13,358 But thankfully, it wasn't real. 1283 01:14:13,359 --> 01:14:14,839 You gotta let it go, man. 1284 01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:17,398 You know what? You can believe what you want, 1285 01:14:17,399 --> 01:14:20,680 but I know my connection with that girl was real. 1286 01:14:21,520 --> 01:14:23,800 There's a lot of wiener in this book. 1287 01:14:24,319 --> 01:14:26,680 But I'm not mad about it. 1288 01:14:27,119 --> 01:14:31,320 This probably would make a really good TV movie 1289 01:14:33,079 --> 01:14:35,360 if they get Alyssa Milano. 1290 01:14:38,800 --> 01:14:39,433 Sorry. 1291 01:14:39,434 --> 01:14:41,919 So sorry about that. It's been a bit of a... 1292 01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:43,480 Don't worry about it. 1293 01:14:46,199 --> 01:14:47,800 Wedding's that way. 1294 01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:52,960 Well, it was nice bumping into you. 1295 01:14:58,039 --> 01:14:59,360 Hey, bud. 1296 01:14:59,920 --> 01:15:01,158 We gotta go. 1297 01:15:01,159 --> 01:15:02,880 - Ed. - Do you... 1298 01:15:03,239 --> 01:15:05,320 What are you stammering about? 1299 01:15:05,399 --> 01:15:09,200 We are gathered here today to celebrate the pure 1300 01:15:09,640 --> 01:15:11,559 and magical love of 1301 01:15:11,560 --> 01:15:15,440 these two deeply, deeply passionate men. 1302 01:15:15,760 --> 01:15:18,999 Guys, that's her. I swear to God, she's right there. 1303 01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:20,559 Stop, man. There is no her. 1304 01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:22,438 - Yeah... - Do I need to set you up with a shrink? 1305 01:15:22,439 --> 01:15:24,559 - I'm telling you, she's... - Dude. 1306 01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:26,040 - Enough. - Fine. 1307 01:15:26,239 --> 01:15:27,800 Letting it go. 1308 01:15:27,880 --> 01:15:29,720 - Thank you. - Some people say 1309 01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:32,600 love is nothing but a battlefield. 1310 01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:34,360 Not me. 1311 01:15:34,479 --> 01:15:38,118 These days, people don't view marriage as something to enjoy. 1312 01:15:38,119 --> 01:15:41,358 They view it as something to survive. 1313 01:15:41,359 --> 01:15:43,919 So Doug, Tracey, 1314 01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:45,839 with that, I say 1315 01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:50,400 may the odds be ever in your favour. 1316 01:21:33,359 --> 01:21:35,480 This tree has a vagina.