1 00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:04,866 It looks good. 2 00:00:04,937 --> 00:00:08,202 On the northwest toll, eastbound traffic is moving nicely this morning... 3 00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:10,538 from Beecham Road down to River Road. 4 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:13,704 Westbound, there's now a 20-car backup at the Devon Avenue toll. 5 00:00:13,779 --> 00:00:17,215 And on the northbound I-290 extension at Thorndale Avenue, 6 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:19,217 we had a spinout there. 7 00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,378 And that car was blocking the right-hand lane... 8 00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:24,890 and also blocking the lane that's coming off of the, uh, 9 00:00:24,957 --> 00:00:27,721 eastbound Thorndale Avenue entrance ramp... 10 00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:31,229 leading to the northbound, uh, I-290 extension. 11 00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:33,788 This was causing a backup to Irving Park. We have... 12 00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:40,905 Come on, chop-chop. We got relatives invading this afternoon. 13 00:00:40,973 --> 00:00:44,966 Ginny, Mike, Sara, Sam! Come on. Everybody up! 14 00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:49,537 Oh, I think I have a fever. 15 00:00:49,615 --> 00:00:51,549 You don't have a fever. 16 00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:53,881 Shut your face. Make me. 17 00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:56,183 Dad, Mike hit me! 18 00:00:56,255 --> 00:00:59,782 You liar. Mike, come on, pal. We got a wedding tomorrow. 19 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:02,828 Try to cooperate, will you? Dad, I didn't hit her. 20 00:01:02,895 --> 00:01:06,661 I'd like to very much, and I probably will later, but give me a break. 21 00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:09,826 You know my method. I don't hit her when you're just down the hall. 22 00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:11,995 Pick on someone your own size. 23 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:15,640 Open this door. 24 00:01:17,076 --> 00:01:19,840 Daddy, I'm the one getting married. 25 00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:23,177 Not until tomorrow. I've got a mouthful of toothpaste. 26 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:26,707 I happen to have a serious problem. 27 00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:28,720 Dad. 28 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,757 She got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh? 29 00:01:31,824 --> 00:01:35,021 - Where are you learning that stuff? - School. 30 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:38,188 Good. Getting my money's worth. 31 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:42,533 They were fantastic. Just great. What a great crowd. 32 00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:46,196 And it was so much fun... ♪ It's a good thing you don't have bus fare ♪ 33 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:48,832 ♪ It would fall through the hole in your pocket and you'd lose it ♪ 34 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:50,603 ♪ In the snow on the ground ♪ 35 00:01:50,676 --> 00:01:53,907 ♪ You got to walk into town to find a job ♪ 36 00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,846 ♪ You're trying to keep your hands warm ♪ 37 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,544 Chronologically, you're 16 today. 38 00:01:59,618 --> 00:02:02,644 Physically, 39 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:07,091 you're still 15. 40 00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:12,357 Hopeless. 41 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:19,000 Nope. I look exactly the same as I have since summer. 42 00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:21,005 Utterly forgettable. 43 00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:24,167 No, I didn't expect to wake up transformed. 44 00:02:24,243 --> 00:02:26,837 I just thought that turning 16 would be so major... 45 00:02:26,912 --> 00:02:31,178 that I'd wake up with an improved mental state that would show on my face. 46 00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:34,185 All it shows is that I don't have any sort of a tan left. 47 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,412 I better get downstairs. 48 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,823 My family's probably pissed off I haven't let them wish me happy birthday yet. 49 00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:43,521 All right. I'll see you at school. 50 00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:52,028 You need four inches of bod and a great birthday. 51 00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:57,868 Where's my briefcase? Where'd you leave it? 52 00:02:57,943 --> 00:03:00,309 Don't be a smart-ass. Okay, I'll be a dumb-ass. 53 00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:02,313 You already are. 54 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,474 Okay, where's Sam? Where's my briefcase? 55 00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:08,179 Sam? Allow me, Brenda. Hey, birth defect! 56 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,484 You missed breakfast again. 57 00:03:10,556 --> 00:03:13,787 It wasn't my idea to give her her own phone line. 58 00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:15,986 Grab a doughnut. 59 00:03:16,061 --> 00:03:20,327 It's small. It's brown. It's made of leather. 60 00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:23,163 It has my initials on it. And I believe... that's it. 61 00:03:23,235 --> 00:03:26,329 Don't forget the grandparents are coming this afternoon. 62 00:03:26,405 --> 00:03:30,842 Are we still having dinner with the Rice Chex? Rizczechs. 8:00 at the club. 63 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:33,344 You'd better learn their names. As of tomorrow, they're family. 64 00:03:33,412 --> 00:03:35,346 That's a lovely thought. Hmm. 65 00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:38,383 When it comes your turn to get married, do me a favour. Elope. 66 00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:41,010 Who'd marry her? Mr. T. 67 00:03:41,086 --> 00:03:45,182 I'm sorry, you'll have to buy lunch today. I didn't have time to fix your carrots. 68 00:03:45,257 --> 00:03:48,385 She's only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts. 69 00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:51,987 Mister, you had better shape up, or you will miss your sister's wedding. 70 00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:53,998 Promise? 71 00:03:57,603 --> 00:04:00,538 Now, don't give me that pouty look of yours. 72 00:04:00,606 --> 00:04:03,040 You can eat your carrots when you get home. 73 00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:06,635 That's it? You don't have anything else to say to me today? 74 00:04:06,712 --> 00:04:09,909 What would you like me to say, Sam? 75 00:04:09,982 --> 00:04:13,145 Come on now, honey. You're going to miss the bus. 76 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:15,153 Have a good day. 77 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:19,991 I can't believe this. 78 00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:23,051 They fucking forgot my birthday. 79 00:04:23,295 --> 00:04:28,062 ♪ 80 00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:23,274 I'm sure they didn't forget your birthday. 81 00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:26,284 They just didn't remember it right away. Same difference. 82 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:30,015 It's a drag your sweet 16's the day before Ginny gets married. 83 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,922 But big deal. They'll remember. Oh, easy for you to say. 84 00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:35,756 Did anyone ever forget your birthday? Come on, Sam. 85 00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:39,696 Everything's getting shittier. My family forgetting my birthday just makes it more vivid. 86 00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:42,461 What do you expect, a breakfast birthday party? 87 00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:47,267 No, but they could have at least said "happy birthday." It was just like any other day. 88 00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:49,273 Why don't you remind them? 89 00:06:49,341 --> 00:06:51,639 They'll feel some massive guilt. It could be highly profitable. 90 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,974 I wouldn't stoop to remind them. 91 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:56,480 Since I was about 12, I've been looking forward to my sweet 16. 92 00:06:56,548 --> 00:07:00,917 You know, a big party and a band, with tons of people. Tons of people. 93 00:07:00,986 --> 00:07:04,422 And a big Trans Am in the driveway with a ribbon around it. 94 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:07,425 And some incredibly gorgeous guy that you meet in France. 95 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,757 And you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant or herpes. 96 00:07:09,828 --> 00:07:12,092 I don't need the cloud. Just a pink Trans Am and the guy, right? 97 00:07:12,164 --> 00:07:14,098 A black one. A black guy? 98 00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,498 A black Trans Am. A pink guy. 99 00:07:16,568 --> 00:07:18,502 Oh, no. 100 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:20,662 ♪ To those nice, nice nights ♪ 101 00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:23,731 ♪ I remember always always ♪ 102 00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:27,245 ♪ I got such a fright ♪ 103 00:07:27,312 --> 00:07:29,780 ♪ Seeing them in my dark cupboard ♪ 104 00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:32,715 ♪ With my great big cake ♪ 105 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:35,845 ♪ If they were me If they were me ♪ 106 00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:38,981 ♪ And I was you And I was you ♪ 107 00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:42,027 ♪ If they were me If they were me ♪ 108 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:45,029 ♪ And I was you And I was you ♪ 109 00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,725 ♪ If they were me and I was you ♪ 110 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,701 ♪ Would you have liked a present too ♪ 111 00:07:57,609 --> 00:08:00,601 ♪ Happy, happy birthday in a hot bath ♪ 112 00:08:00,679 --> 00:08:03,113 ♪ To those nice, nice nights ♪ 113 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:06,413 ♪ I remember always always ♪ 114 00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:09,613 ♪ I got such a fright ♪ 115 00:08:09,688 --> 00:08:12,953 ♪ Seeing them in my dark cupboard ♪ 116 00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:15,994 ♪ With my great big cake ♪ 117 00:08:16,061 --> 00:08:18,461 ♪ If they were me If they were me ♪ 118 00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:22,193 ♪ And I was you And I was you ♪ 119 00:08:22,267 --> 00:08:25,327 ♪ If they were me If they were me ♪ 120 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:28,134 ♪ And I was you And I was you ♪ 121 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:32,234 ♪ If they were me and I was you ♪ 122 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,779 ♪ Would you have liked a present too ♪ 123 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,528 ♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday ♪ 124 00:08:53,298 --> 00:08:56,631 ♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday ♪ 125 00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:03,066 ♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday ♪ 126 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:08,808 ♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday ♪ 127 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,483 ♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday ♪ 128 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:21,685 ♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday ♪ 129 00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:28,932 You swear to God, you don't have it? I don't know anything about it. 130 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,936 Jennifer Woods gave me a sex test during child development. 131 00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:35,269 And I was supposed to do it and pass it to you in independent study. 132 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:39,106 I'm totally screwed. Did you put your name on it? 133 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:41,772 Hi. No, but it was really embarrassing. 134 00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:44,111 I had to name who I'd do it with if I ever did it. 135 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,276 Who'd you name? 136 00:09:46,351 --> 00:09:50,617 Jake Ryan. Jake Ryan? He doesn't even know you exist. 137 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:53,180 Thank you. That's a very nice thing to say. 138 00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:55,192 I'm sorry. But Jake Ryan? 139 00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,956 He's a senior, and he's taken. I mean, really taken. 140 00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,794 I know. It was supposed to be my ideal. 141 00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:04,461 He's ideal, for sure, but forget it. 142 00:10:04,536 --> 00:10:08,302 God, I hope whoever got the note doesn't know it was me who wrote it. 143 00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:10,307 I'd shit twice and die. 144 00:10:13,378 --> 00:10:16,643 Do you know Samantha Baker? 145 00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:19,309 Sophomore, right? 146 00:10:19,384 --> 00:10:22,649 Yeah. What do you think of her? 147 00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:25,656 I don't. 148 00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:28,659 Would you ever go out with her? 149 00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:31,992 Depends on how much you paid me. 150 00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:34,658 She's not ugly. 151 00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:37,167 There's nothing there, man. 152 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:40,171 It's not ugly. It's just... void. 153 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,833 You know what I mean? There's something about her. 154 00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:46,002 I do independent study with her. I catch her looking at me a lot. 155 00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:49,343 It's kind of cool, the way she's always looking at me. 156 00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:51,678 Maybe she's retarded. 157 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,684 I'm being serious, okay? 158 00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:56,687 She looks at me like she's in love with me. 159 00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:59,189 Jake, she's a child. 160 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:02,625 So? So what're you going to do with her? 161 00:11:02,694 --> 00:11:06,130 She's obviously too young to party serious. 162 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:09,634 Maybe I'm interested in more than a party. 163 00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:12,636 Come on, Jake. You talk like you're hard up. 164 00:11:12,704 --> 00:11:15,138 You got Caroline. Now she's a woman. 165 00:11:17,976 --> 00:11:20,467 It's unbelievable. 166 00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:24,481 I swear to God, Caroline Mulford had to flunk about nine grades. 167 00:11:24,549 --> 00:11:26,744 Truly makes me ill. 168 00:11:26,818 --> 00:11:28,752 She's perfect. 169 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:33,280 Practically impossible to cut up. She's supposedly real sweet. 170 00:11:33,358 --> 00:11:36,759 Brother's deaf, and everybody in the world worships her. 171 00:11:36,828 --> 00:11:38,762 And she's going with Jake. 172 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,822 Oh, I'm going to kill myself. 173 00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:43,834 My man. 174 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,910 I loathe the bus. 175 00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:11,125 There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation. 176 00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:13,790 I hope you get a car for your birthday, and a licence. 177 00:12:13,865 --> 00:12:16,766 Let's not hold our breath. 178 00:12:19,037 --> 00:12:21,471 Score... a direct hit. 179 00:12:23,308 --> 00:12:25,242 On second thought. 180 00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:47,598 ♪ Hey ♪ 181 00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,670 Move it! 182 00:13:01,179 --> 00:13:04,114 Call me, okay? You call me first. Tell me what happened at home. 183 00:13:04,182 --> 00:13:06,776 I can tell you right now. Nothing. 184 00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:10,253 Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself? It's bad for your complexion! 185 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,810 How's it going? 186 00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,812 How's what going? 187 00:13:36,047 --> 00:13:39,813 You know, things, life, whatnot. 188 00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:42,820 Life is not whatnot, and it's none of your business. 189 00:13:46,391 --> 00:13:48,825 Hmm. So you going to the new faces dance tonight, or... 190 00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,328 That's also none of your business. 191 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,161 Are you inhibited about dancing in public? 192 00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,499 I mean, you don't have to dance. 193 00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:03,268 Maybe you could just stand there with me and my dudes and just be you, and... - 194 00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:05,275 Sounds major. 195 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,273 So, I mean, what's the story? I mean, you got a guy, or... 196 00:14:10,348 --> 00:14:12,942 Yes, three big ones, and they lust wimp blood. 197 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:17,284 So quit bugging me, or I'll sic them all over your weenie ass. 198 00:14:17,355 --> 00:14:20,119 You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile. 199 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:23,286 I mean, it's just... Go to hell. 200 00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:25,295 Very hostile. 201 00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:31,468 Come on, what's the problem here? I'm a boy, you're a girl. 202 00:14:31,536 --> 00:14:36,633 Is there anything wrong with me trying to put together some kind of relationship between us? 203 00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:39,643 Look, I know you have to go. Just answer one question. 204 00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:41,645 Yes, you're a total fag. 205 00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:45,149 That's not the question. 206 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:47,151 Am I turning you on? 207 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,154 It's encouraging. 208 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,755 Very encouraging. Yeah, uh-huh. 209 00:15:00,832 --> 00:15:03,266 You know, a girl with a hat is just so... Whew. 210 00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:06,600 So vogue. Uh, y-yeah. 211 00:15:21,219 --> 00:15:24,882 Where are my blue socks, Dorothy? 212 00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:27,948 You mean you didn't pack them? Oh, not again, Howard. 213 00:15:28,026 --> 00:15:30,620 Can't I trust you to do anything? 214 00:15:30,695 --> 00:15:32,822 Do you expect me to do all the packing? 215 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:37,028 Well, at least I brought this for you. It... 216 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:40,868 Sam! Samantha. 217 00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:43,134 Look. Oh, look. 218 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:46,905 - Hi! - Hi! 219 00:15:46,978 --> 00:15:49,242 Oh, God. 220 00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:53,307 Oh, sweetheart! 221 00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:57,617 My goodness, are you a sight for sore eyes. 222 00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,782 Oh, good! 223 00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:03,726 Just look. How are you, my little lamb chop? Hello! 224 00:16:03,795 --> 00:16:05,729 I'm fine, Grandpa. 225 00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:08,925 - How are you guys? - Oh, pretty good. Of course, I get lower back pain. 226 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,936 Oh, my corns are killing me. My arthritis in my fingers bothers me quite a bit... 227 00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:15,666 So are you, uh... You're sleeping up here? 228 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,674 Yeah. Yeah. 229 00:16:17,742 --> 00:16:21,610 Your grandfather Fred jumped our claim on Sara's room. So here we are up here. 230 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:26,049 Well, I haven't seen you in a while. Do I look any older today? 231 00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:28,415 Oh, no, no. I wouldn't say so. Do you think so? 232 00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:30,954 No. Oh, I hope it isn't cold tomorrow. 233 00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:32,683 You know Ginny. 234 00:16:32,757 --> 00:16:35,385 It's not going to be cold. She'll refuse to wear a coat over her wedding dress. 235 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:38,692 If she does, you mustn't bug her... I'm not going to bug her... 236 00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:42,290 I'm going to go set myself up in Mike's room. So I'll see you guys later. 237 00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:44,801 - Okay, sweetheart. - Look, there she goes. 238 00:16:44,869 --> 00:16:48,066 Your grandpa and I are looking forward to a nice, long visit with you. 239 00:16:48,139 --> 00:16:50,073 Aces. We certainly are. 240 00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:55,238 See you a little later, darling. We've got a lot to... 241 00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:59,647 I swear to God, this has got to be a joke. 242 00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:02,414 Grandparents forgetting a birthday? 243 00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:06,389 They live for that shit. 244 00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:08,858 Put my arms around you ♪ 245 00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:12,624 Well, well, if it isn't Sammy Baker... 246 00:17:12,697 --> 00:17:15,291 Davis, Junior. 247 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,131 Hi, Grandpa. Oh, I've got one for you. 248 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,137 Knock, knock. Who's there? 249 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,139 Who. Who, who? 250 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:26,268 Helen, we've got an owl out here in the hall. 251 00:17:28,346 --> 00:17:31,110 Oh, Fred, Fred, leave her alone. 252 00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:33,616 You'll make her tinkle. Oh, come on, Helen. 253 00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:36,813 Oh, Sam, let me look at you. 254 00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:39,118 Oh. 255 00:17:39,190 --> 00:17:41,488 Fred, she's gotten her boobies. 256 00:17:41,559 --> 00:17:45,290 I'd better go get my magnifying glass. 257 00:17:45,363 --> 00:17:48,628 Oh, and they are so perky! 258 00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:05,248 I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up. 259 00:18:11,022 --> 00:18:14,514 What's happening, hot stuff? 260 00:18:14,592 --> 00:18:17,755 His name is Long Duk Dong. 261 00:18:17,829 --> 00:18:20,593 What? Long Duk Dong. 262 00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:23,259 He came down with Grandma and Grandpa Baker. 263 00:18:23,334 --> 00:18:25,859 He's an exchange student that's living with them. 264 00:18:25,937 --> 00:18:29,600 Yeah, well, he's totally bizarre. He is not. 265 00:18:29,674 --> 00:18:32,268 He is a very sweet boy. 266 00:18:32,343 --> 00:18:36,279 I just hope you burn the sheets and mattresses after he leaves. 267 00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:38,941 I don't suppose it makes any difference to you, 268 00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:41,383 but there's a very weird Chinese guy up in Mike's room. 269 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:44,388 Ginny dumped Rudy. He's her new fiancée. 270 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,424 Mike, stop it. 271 00:18:46,491 --> 00:18:50,257 Sam, honey, do you think you could help the grandmothers with supper? 272 00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:52,956 Dad and I have to go to the club for dinner with the Rice Chex. 273 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,000 Rizczechs. Oh. Rizczechs. 274 00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:58,130 Uh, do you think that there's any reason... 275 00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:01,400 that I should possibly stay home tonight? 276 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,566 Well, it might be nice if you'd visit... 277 00:19:03,641 --> 00:19:06,075 with your grandparents and Long Duk Dong. 278 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:08,078 Who? 279 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:10,910 The weird Chinese guy in Mike's room. Oh. 280 00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:14,918 - I think I have a dance to go to. - Well, that's okay. 281 00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:18,945 Oh, can you remember to turn off the stove in 20 minutes? 282 00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:21,514 I can remember lots of things. 283 00:19:26,631 --> 00:19:29,930 This is the single worst day of my entire life. 284 00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,935 What the hell are you bitching about? 285 00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:35,097 I got to sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck's dork. 286 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:37,471 Well, where am I sleeping? 287 00:19:37,542 --> 00:19:39,601 Sofa City, sweetheart. 288 00:19:45,683 --> 00:19:48,618 Do you think Grandpa Fred's going to embarrass me? 289 00:19:48,686 --> 00:19:52,178 I don't know why not. He does to everyone else. 290 00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:56,956 He already asked me if Rudy was the oily variety bohunk. 291 00:19:57,028 --> 00:20:00,225 Is he? Don't be cute. 292 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,933 I really love Rudy. 293 00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:06,971 And he is totally enamoured of me. 294 00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:11,808 I mean, I've had men who've loved me before, 295 00:20:11,876 --> 00:20:15,471 but not for six months in a row. 296 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,606 I think I'm in love. 297 00:20:17,682 --> 00:20:20,583 So how long have you been in love, hmm? 298 00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:23,587 Well, it hasn't really happened yet. 299 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:26,488 So what's the deal? 300 00:20:27,992 --> 00:20:31,257 I'm not sure that he knows I exist. 301 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:35,761 Sam, I really don't have time for this. 302 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,325 Well, I'm sorry. 303 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:41,395 I always listen to you talk about your boyfriends. 304 00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:44,498 Darling, is something bothering you? 305 00:20:48,746 --> 00:20:52,182 You're really acting like... an asshole. 306 00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:55,981 And I think I know what it is. 307 00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:58,682 I think you're jealous that I'm getting married... 308 00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:02,283 and that I'm getting all the attention, hmm? 309 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,794 You know, everybody in this family... 310 00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:07,297 has just gone totally Outer Limits. 311 00:21:07,365 --> 00:21:09,299 No, Sam. 312 00:21:09,367 --> 00:21:13,303 I think you're just being a little selfish and immature. 313 00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:17,641 Oh, yes. That's it. 314 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,643 That's exactly it. 315 00:21:21,312 --> 00:21:23,746 Unbelievable. 316 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:27,148 You make someone a bridesmaid, and they shit all over you. 317 00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,795 Very clever dinner. 318 00:21:38,863 --> 00:21:44,324 Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie. 319 00:21:44,402 --> 00:21:47,838 - It's a quiche. - Hmm. How do you spell? 320 00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:51,205 Well, you don't spell it, son. You eat it. 321 00:21:52,877 --> 00:21:55,812 Dong has only been in our country a short time, Fred. 322 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,748 I think we could all help him assimilate. - Oh. 323 00:21:59,817 --> 00:22:02,877 Long Duk Dong is about your age, Sam. 324 00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:05,081 You two should have a lot to chat about. 325 00:22:05,156 --> 00:22:09,354 I love, uh, visiting with Grandma and Grandpa... 326 00:22:09,427 --> 00:22:11,827 and writing letters to parents... 327 00:22:11,896 --> 00:22:14,262 and pushing lawn-mowing machine... 328 00:22:14,332 --> 00:22:18,291 so Grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed. 329 00:22:18,369 --> 00:22:21,304 Hernia! 330 00:22:21,372 --> 00:22:23,772 Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeedy. 331 00:22:23,841 --> 00:22:27,777 He does the dishes and helps with the laundry. You betcha. 332 00:22:27,845 --> 00:22:32,043 May I be excused? 333 00:22:32,116 --> 00:22:34,949 Where are you going? 334 00:22:35,019 --> 00:22:38,011 I have a dance to go to... at school. 335 00:22:38,089 --> 00:22:40,683 It's a very important dance. 336 00:22:40,758 --> 00:22:43,693 Uh, we're being graded on it... for gym. 337 00:22:43,761 --> 00:22:47,629 Wait a minute. I have a wonderful idea. 338 00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:51,430 Would you like to go to the dance with Sam? 339 00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:57,272 ♪ 340 00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:17,127 I wonder if Jake’s here. 341 00:23:17,195 --> 00:23:20,460 I don't think it's healthy to get jacked about some guy that isn't a thing yet. 342 00:23:20,531 --> 00:23:23,796 Yeah, when you don't have anything, you don't have anything to lose, right? 343 00:23:23,868 --> 00:23:25,802 That's a cheerful thought. 344 00:23:25,870 --> 00:23:27,963 Let's go make ourselves available. 345 00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:48,154 That's the one, dude. Scope it out. 346 00:23:48,226 --> 00:23:50,956 She doesn't look like a freshman. Sophomore, dude. Sophomore. 347 00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:53,463 Fully aged sophomore meat. 348 00:23:56,901 --> 00:23:59,165 We do the bus together. You talk to her? 349 00:23:59,237 --> 00:24:01,762 Talk? Dude, I have a relationship with her. Get out. 350 00:24:01,839 --> 00:24:04,433 Figure to, like, 17 digits. 351 00:24:04,509 --> 00:24:06,443 You are such a liar. 352 00:24:06,511 --> 00:24:08,945 We'll see about that, my man. 353 00:24:09,013 --> 00:24:13,450 By night's end, I predict me and her will interface. 354 00:24:18,456 --> 00:24:21,983 ♪ Ahh ♪ 355 00:24:27,498 --> 00:24:31,491 ♪Ahh ♪ 356 00:24:31,569 --> 00:24:34,231 ♪ I know this ♪ 357 00:24:34,305 --> 00:24:37,399 ♪ Much is true ♪ 358 00:24:37,475 --> 00:24:40,672 ♪ Ahh ♪ 359 00:24:40,745 --> 00:24:44,306 ♪ I know this... ♪ Check it out, Wease. 360 00:24:46,851 --> 00:24:49,979 Pretty intense, huh? Over. To the max. Over. 361 00:25:01,766 --> 00:25:06,396 All right. 362 00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:08,405 I knew you'd come around. 363 00:25:08,473 --> 00:25:11,237 Whoa. Christ. 364 00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:15,438 Crank that, sister! ♪ Whoa ♪ 365 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,622 Very hot. Very hot. 366 00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,624 This night... This night is happening. 367 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:29,626 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 368 00:25:33,498 --> 00:25:35,432 I'm blowing your mind, aren't I? 369 00:25:38,035 --> 00:25:40,469 I'm just getting warmed up. 370 00:25:54,652 --> 00:25:57,086 Ow. Excuse me. 371 00:26:29,854 --> 00:26:32,789 Way to go, dick-face. She took off. 372 00:26:32,857 --> 00:26:36,452 Don't spaz out. Okay, Wease? The situation'll come on-line. 373 00:26:36,527 --> 00:26:40,293 Yeah? I'll bet you a dozen floppy disks you don't even get tit. 374 00:26:40,364 --> 00:26:43,128 You got a bet, scumbag. I'll get it all. 375 00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:46,637 Take off. You wouldn't be able to prove it anyway. 376 00:26:46,704 --> 00:26:48,638 A, don't hit me. 377 00:26:48,706 --> 00:26:51,800 Secondly, what kind of proof do you want? 378 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:53,810 Video. Video. 379 00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:56,403 No way. I can just see the thing getting duped a thousand times... 380 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,040 and winding up on cable somewhere. 381 00:26:59,116 --> 00:27:01,084 Try again. 382 00:27:01,152 --> 00:27:03,086 Underpants. Underpants. 383 00:27:05,323 --> 00:27:07,257 No problem, butt-lick. 384 00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:18,328 Girls' underpants. ♪ One, two ♪ 385 00:27:18,402 --> 00:27:21,565 ♪ And your girlfriend sweet little 17 ♪ 386 00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:24,506 ♪ She's got her layered hair and her flared jeans ♪ 387 00:27:24,575 --> 00:27:27,510 ♪ You know what that means She's just a little queen ♪ 388 00:27:27,578 --> 00:27:30,046 ♪ She shares your London flat ♪ 389 00:27:30,114 --> 00:27:33,049 ♪ She thinks that London's where it's at ♪ 390 00:27:33,117 --> 00:27:35,915 ♪ Although it stinks and when it rains you wear your hat ♪ 391 00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:39,787 ♪ And your plum-coloured PVC wet-look maxi mac ♪ 392 00:27:39,857 --> 00:27:42,485 ♪ You tie your ginger hair back in a bun ♪ 393 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,291 ♪ You're the ugliest creature under the sun ♪ 394 00:27:49,033 --> 00:27:51,001 So what's your name? 395 00:27:51,068 --> 00:27:53,002 Dong. 396 00:27:53,070 --> 00:27:55,129 What's your first name? 397 00:27:55,206 --> 00:27:57,970 Long. 398 00:27:58,042 --> 00:28:00,306 What's your middle name? 399 00:28:00,378 --> 00:28:02,312 Duk. 400 00:28:03,981 --> 00:28:07,883 I bet all the boys chase you plenty in the school, huh? 401 00:28:07,952 --> 00:28:09,920 Nobody's caught me yet. 402 00:28:09,987 --> 00:28:12,251 Hmm. I betcha you big teaser, huh? 403 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:15,986 No. I run the 40 in five flat. 404 00:28:17,061 --> 00:28:18,995 Flat? 405 00:28:22,366 --> 00:28:24,926 Hey. Oh, I'm really sorry, man. 406 00:28:25,002 --> 00:28:27,766 Whatever I did was an accid... I-I-I didn't mean to... 407 00:28:27,838 --> 00:28:29,772 Relax. 408 00:28:34,845 --> 00:28:38,611 You... You were dancing with a girl? 409 00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:41,618 Oh, man, I'm really... I'm really sorry, man. 410 00:28:41,686 --> 00:28:45,122 I must've been on drugs five minutes ago. Do you know her? 411 00:28:45,189 --> 00:28:48,625 She grabbed me, guy. I'm totally innocent. Is she yours? 412 00:28:48,693 --> 00:28:51,127 What do you know about her? 413 00:28:51,195 --> 00:28:54,631 She has smallish tits. Decent voice. 414 00:28:54,699 --> 00:28:57,634 Smells pretty good. She drives me crazy. 415 00:28:57,702 --> 00:28:59,636 Did she come here with you? 416 00:28:59,704 --> 00:29:03,731 No, no. But if it's okay with my dad, she's going home with me. 417 00:29:04,809 --> 00:29:06,743 Excuse me. 418 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,454 Do you guys want to blow off this dance? 419 00:29:18,522 --> 00:29:21,582 Yes. - I am bored to the brink of insanity. 420 00:29:21,659 --> 00:29:25,095 And go where? - Jake's parent's aren't home. We can do his house. 421 00:29:25,162 --> 00:29:28,598 - How's it going? - Fine. 422 00:29:28,666 --> 00:29:31,760 Let's party light. Jake's paranoid about his house getting trashed. 423 00:29:31,836 --> 00:29:34,066 Again! 424 00:29:34,138 --> 00:29:37,869 ♪ One single moment The hours I spend ♪ 425 00:29:50,354 --> 00:29:52,288 Oof! 426 00:30:03,534 --> 00:30:05,468 Okay. 427 00:30:06,537 --> 00:30:08,471 All right. 428 00:30:12,376 --> 00:30:15,311 Just trying to get a little bit of water. 429 00:30:15,379 --> 00:30:17,347 Yeah. 430 00:30:17,415 --> 00:30:20,350 ♪ 431 00:30:21,719 --> 00:30:24,153 Yes, I'm back. 432 00:30:24,221 --> 00:30:26,155 So I smell. 433 00:30:26,223 --> 00:30:28,248 It's my shaving cream. 434 00:30:28,325 --> 00:30:31,817 You want to feel a real clean, close shave? I'll pass. 435 00:30:31,896 --> 00:30:34,592 Couldn't find anyone else to bug, huh? 436 00:30:34,665 --> 00:30:37,395 Come on. You know you're the one I want to bug, huh? 437 00:30:37,468 --> 00:30:41,165 This is my friend, Randy. And that's Jimmy Montrose. 438 00:30:41,238 --> 00:30:43,172 Howdy, dude. This is Farmer Fred. 439 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,175 Ted. Oh, I'm sorry. This is Farmer Ted. 440 00:30:46,243 --> 00:30:48,370 I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman. 441 00:30:48,446 --> 00:30:50,573 Geek, can I be honest with you? 442 00:30:50,648 --> 00:30:53,446 Not if you're going to insult me. 443 00:30:53,517 --> 00:30:55,542 Okay. 444 00:30:55,619 --> 00:30:57,553 Shoot. 445 00:30:57,621 --> 00:31:02,456 - Get the hell out of here. - Nice! Nice manners, babe! 446 00:31:02,526 --> 00:31:04,687 She's totally serious, ass-wipe. 447 00:31:04,762 --> 00:31:07,196 Chill. 448 00:31:12,102 --> 00:31:15,037 You want to split with me? I... 449 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,307 I don't know. You know, my mom, I can't handle this. 450 00:31:19,376 --> 00:31:21,640 She tells me, "You want something, you got to ask for it." 451 00:31:21,712 --> 00:31:23,646 I mean, I'm not the kind of guy... 452 00:31:23,714 --> 00:31:27,650 It's embarrassing for me. I don't know. I just... 453 00:31:27,718 --> 00:31:29,652 It's just... 454 00:32:15,533 --> 00:32:18,627 I'm really sorry about what happened in the gym. 455 00:32:18,702 --> 00:32:21,637 I-I had no idea you couldn't dance. 456 00:32:47,898 --> 00:32:51,163 What a decent night, huh? It's my birthday. 457 00:32:54,004 --> 00:32:56,996 ♪ You say it's your birthday ♪ 458 00:32:57,074 --> 00:32:59,008 ♪ It's my birthday too ♪ 459 00:32:59,076 --> 00:33:01,203 Don't do that, okay? 460 00:33:03,514 --> 00:33:06,950 ♪ Hey, Jude ♪ Just stop it, okay? 461 00:33:07,017 --> 00:33:09,679 I mean, it's really been a shitty birthday for me. 462 00:33:09,753 --> 00:33:13,450 No offence, but I don't need a serenade right how. 463 00:33:13,524 --> 00:33:15,788 What's wrong? You didn't get anything good, or... 464 00:33:15,859 --> 00:33:18,623 I didn't get shit. Not even a "happy birthday." 465 00:33:18,696 --> 00:33:21,722 My whole family just sort of blew it off. 466 00:33:24,034 --> 00:33:27,197 I'd freak if my family forgot my birthday. It's a brand-new year. 467 00:33:27,271 --> 00:33:29,705 I'm 16. Everything should be platinum. 468 00:33:29,773 --> 00:33:32,640 I should be happy, right? Right? Yeah. 469 00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:34,644 Well, I can't get happy. 470 00:33:34,712 --> 00:33:37,738 It is physically impossible for me to get happy. 471 00:33:40,484 --> 00:33:43,419 Would you feel better if you knew one of my secrets, or... 472 00:33:43,487 --> 00:33:45,921 Don't gross me out. 473 00:33:45,990 --> 00:33:48,424 No, we're not talking gross here. 474 00:33:48,492 --> 00:33:51,427 No. It's... It's just embarrassing. 475 00:33:56,133 --> 00:34:00,001 This information cannot leave this room, okay? 476 00:34:00,070 --> 00:34:03,130 It would devastate my reputation as a dude. 477 00:34:03,207 --> 00:34:05,141 No problem. 478 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,214 I've never bagged a babe. 479 00:34:15,285 --> 00:34:17,219 I'm not a stud. 480 00:34:21,191 --> 00:34:23,625 I got the rep in sixth grade. 481 00:34:23,694 --> 00:34:25,787 And it, like, it stuck with me. 482 00:34:25,863 --> 00:34:27,797 I'm still on hold. 483 00:34:30,034 --> 00:34:33,299 Look, I'd appreciate you not laughing here, okay? 484 00:34:33,370 --> 00:34:35,304 I'm sorry. 485 00:34:36,373 --> 00:34:38,307 That's not what I meant. 486 00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:42,812 I meant... 487 00:34:44,381 --> 00:34:47,817 Hey, time out, junior. 488 00:34:49,887 --> 00:34:51,821 Pardon me. 489 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,494 It's okay. 490 00:35:02,332 --> 00:35:04,926 I meant that it's okay that you did it once, 491 00:35:05,002 --> 00:35:08,597 but I didn't mean for you to do it again! 492 00:35:08,672 --> 00:35:10,936 I'm sorry. 493 00:35:11,008 --> 00:35:12,942 Sorry. 494 00:35:15,512 --> 00:35:18,606 You know, just now I really felt how much you like me. 495 00:35:20,017 --> 00:35:24,010 You're probably zoning in on my brain waves or something. 496 00:35:24,088 --> 00:35:27,023 Well, not really. I felt it on my leg. 497 00:35:28,092 --> 00:35:31,550 Come on. I don't want to see it! 498 00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:35,398 Oh. 499 00:35:35,466 --> 00:35:38,230 Sorry if I embarrassed you. 500 00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:40,236 I'm not embarrassed. 501 00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:43,239 Fresh breath's a priority in my life. 502 00:35:45,876 --> 00:35:47,810 I don't want to hurt your feelings, 503 00:35:47,878 --> 00:35:51,336 'cause it's really human of you to listen to my bullshit. 504 00:35:51,415 --> 00:35:54,646 I care about it, really. I mean... 505 00:35:54,718 --> 00:35:59,155 I know I came on kind of like a poozer on the bus tonight and everything. 506 00:35:59,223 --> 00:36:02,488 But that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk. 507 00:36:02,559 --> 00:36:04,993 But they're all pretty much jerks, though, aren't they? 508 00:36:05,062 --> 00:36:10,261 Yeah, but the thing is, I'm kind of like the leader. 509 00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:12,564 Kind of like the king of the dipshits. 510 00:36:12,636 --> 00:36:16,595 Well, that's pretty cool. Hey, but a lot can happen over a year. 511 00:36:16,673 --> 00:36:19,904 I mean, you could come back next fall as a completely normal person. 512 00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:22,912 Yeah? Sure. 513 00:36:27,451 --> 00:36:30,386 Would it be totally off the wall if... 514 00:36:31,522 --> 00:36:33,786 if I asked if I could have sex with you? 515 00:36:37,027 --> 00:36:40,087 Yeah, well, you asking me is not as off the wall as why I won't. 516 00:36:40,164 --> 00:36:43,964 - V.D.? - No. 517 00:36:44,034 --> 00:36:47,470 I'm sort of saving myself. 518 00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:51,235 It's really stupid. He doesn't even know I exist. 519 00:36:51,308 --> 00:36:53,299 Who? 520 00:36:53,377 --> 00:36:55,311 Who? 521 00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:58,644 Jake Ryan. 522 00:36:58,715 --> 00:37:00,649 You like Jake? 523 00:37:00,717 --> 00:37:02,947 Ja... Jake's my boy! 524 00:37:03,020 --> 00:37:05,250 I just talked to Jake in the gym. 525 00:37:05,322 --> 00:37:07,256 He asked me about you. Did not! 526 00:37:07,324 --> 00:37:10,589 He did too. He did! He asked me what you were like. 527 00:37:10,661 --> 00:37:15,064 Oh, my... Oh! If you're lying, I'll beat the crap out of you. I'm not lying. 528 00:37:15,132 --> 00:37:18,761 Oh, my God! What should I do? Should I go up to him? 529 00:37:18,836 --> 00:37:21,930 Should I say, "Hi, Jake, I'm Samantha"? Maybe I should let him come to me. 530 00:37:22,005 --> 00:37:26,271 This is not my department. But what if I let him come to me, and he forgets? 531 00:37:26,343 --> 00:37:29,608 What if he changes his mind? Then I'm totally screwed, right? 532 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:31,944 Apparently so. 533 00:37:32,015 --> 00:37:34,643 What would you do if you were me? 534 00:37:36,019 --> 00:37:37,953 I'm a gambling man by nature. 535 00:37:38,021 --> 00:37:41,286 And, um, I'd go for it. 536 00:37:41,358 --> 00:37:44,987 This is so strange. But I think I will. Oh, you're the best. 537 00:37:48,198 --> 00:37:51,133 - Wait, um... - What? 538 00:37:51,201 --> 00:37:53,169 Do you know anything about floppy disks? 539 00:37:53,237 --> 00:37:58,197 We'll talk about this on the bus, okay? The thing is, I've got a problem. 540 00:37:58,275 --> 00:38:00,573 Floppy disks are pretty expensive. 541 00:38:00,644 --> 00:38:04,045 I made a bet with my friends, the... the dipshits. 542 00:38:04,114 --> 00:38:06,548 Um, 543 00:38:06,617 --> 00:38:09,051 I bet them that I'd do it with you. 544 00:38:09,119 --> 00:38:12,520 This was before I knew you. I can get proof without getting physical. 545 00:38:12,589 --> 00:38:15,149 How? 546 00:38:16,393 --> 00:38:19,328 Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes? 547 00:38:19,396 --> 00:38:21,455 ♪ Hope you're feeling ♪ 548 00:38:21,531 --> 00:38:25,695 ♪ Time ♪ 549 00:38:30,340 --> 00:38:33,935 I think it's time to blow this thing off and go to your house. Yeah? 550 00:38:34,011 --> 00:38:36,946 I told Tracy and Robin and those guys to come to your parents' house, okay? 551 00:38:37,014 --> 00:38:39,107 I told them not to tell anybody. 552 00:38:39,182 --> 00:38:41,946 God, I love it when your parents are out of town, 553 00:38:42,019 --> 00:38:43,953 I fantasize that I'm your wife, 554 00:38:44,021 --> 00:38:47,252 and we're the richest, most popular adults in town. 555 00:38:47,324 --> 00:38:49,849 I owe all my great weekends to you. 556 00:38:51,695 --> 00:38:54,323 What's your problem? What? 557 00:38:54,398 --> 00:38:58,164 You've been acting weird all night. Are you screwing around? 558 00:38:58,235 --> 00:39:00,635 Me? Are you crazy? 559 00:39:00,704 --> 00:39:02,899 I don't know, Jake. 560 00:39:02,973 --> 00:39:05,908 I'm getting strange signals. Well, they're not coming from me. 561 00:39:05,976 --> 00:39:08,570 Everything's fine. Don't have a cow. 562 00:39:08,645 --> 00:39:10,579 Okay. 563 00:39:10,647 --> 00:39:12,911 Just remember one thing. 564 00:39:12,983 --> 00:39:16,248 I can name 20 guys who'd kill to love me. 565 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,619 Is that a threat? It's a fact, Jake. 566 00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:24,252 Come on. Before we get in a big, wicked fight, let's get out of here, huh? 567 00:39:28,165 --> 00:39:31,259 Hi, Jake. I'm Samantha. How's it going? 568 00:39:34,338 --> 00:39:36,272 Do you got a cigarette? 569 00:39:39,509 --> 00:39:41,943 Jake, this may sound incredibly dumb, 570 00:39:42,012 --> 00:39:44,947 but I love you, and I'll do anything to make you love me. 571 00:39:46,850 --> 00:39:48,784 I love your shirt. 572 00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:54,790 Jake, you're not going to believe this, 573 00:39:54,858 --> 00:39:58,294 but I had this very bizarre dream, and you were in it. 574 00:40:01,965 --> 00:40:05,366 For heaven's sake! Get in there and dance! 575 00:40:05,435 --> 00:40:08,302 I can't. They won't like me! I'm not going to tell you again! 576 00:40:08,372 --> 00:40:11,341 Just act like a man! I want to go home! I want to be with you guys! 577 00:40:11,408 --> 00:40:14,343 ♪ 578 00:40:24,788 --> 00:40:28,986 ♪ You-ou are my desire ♪ 579 00:40:30,427 --> 00:40:34,261 ♪ You... You are my desire ♪ 580 00:40:36,299 --> 00:40:40,201 ♪ You-ou are my desire ♪ 581 00:40:41,271 --> 00:40:46,174 ♪ Oh, baby, you, you, you you are my desire ♪ 582 00:40:48,011 --> 00:40:51,879 ♪ Got to find you Know you're out there ♪ 583 00:40:51,948 --> 00:40:55,679 I can't believe I'm such a jerk. 584 00:40:55,752 --> 00:40:58,687 He smiles at me, and I don't say anything. 585 00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:03,693 And I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek. 586 00:41:07,697 --> 00:41:09,961 What year are you? Freshman. 587 00:41:10,033 --> 00:41:11,967 Give me a buck. 588 00:41:12,035 --> 00:41:13,969 Get in. 589 00:41:26,383 --> 00:41:28,317 Shut up! 590 00:41:29,386 --> 00:41:31,320 Bryce? 591 00:41:31,388 --> 00:41:34,687 Ted, go for it. 592 00:41:53,443 --> 00:41:56,503 Hey, uh, listen, uh, 593 00:41:56,580 --> 00:41:59,845 I want to thank you for, uh, loaning me the Donger. 594 00:42:03,487 --> 00:42:05,421 He's really bitching. 595 00:42:05,489 --> 00:42:08,856 That's okay. You guys make a great couple. 596 00:42:11,027 --> 00:42:15,464 I never been so happy in my whole life. You maniac! 597 00:42:17,534 --> 00:42:21,197 Now I have a place to put my hand. Mmm. 598 00:42:21,271 --> 00:42:25,708 So basically, Jimmy, my business is video game arcades, 599 00:42:25,775 --> 00:42:29,643 laundry, cigarette machines... 600 00:42:29,713 --> 00:42:31,806 And trucking. 601 00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:35,784 I dabble a little bit in personal loans and politics. 602 00:42:40,557 --> 00:42:43,492 Very nice. 603 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:48,054 I think that all that really matters is that the kids are happy together. 604 00:42:48,131 --> 00:42:50,998 Just as long as my beautiful boy remembers... 605 00:42:51,067 --> 00:42:54,298 that marrying this one means he's out of the girl of the month club. 606 00:42:54,371 --> 00:42:57,636 Hey, wait a minute. I can still look. 607 00:42:57,707 --> 00:43:00,938 I just can't touch. Right? 608 00:43:01,011 --> 00:43:03,002 Oh, sensitive, uh? Rudy! 609 00:43:05,482 --> 00:43:08,610 - Cheers. - Right on. 610 00:43:11,054 --> 00:43:13,113 Ahh! You do shots? 611 00:43:13,190 --> 00:43:15,124 Come on, wolf it. 612 00:43:18,762 --> 00:43:23,290 Whoo! 613 00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:34,442 Uh, good night, Marlene. See you later, Dong. 614 00:43:34,511 --> 00:43:38,038 Sammy, tell Grandpa not to wait up. Let's go boogie. 615 00:43:38,114 --> 00:43:41,277 Sure. 616 00:43:41,351 --> 00:43:44,650 Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. 617 00:43:44,721 --> 00:43:47,656 I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease. 618 00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:11,243 ♪ We're hanging out in Vinnie's car ♪ 619 00:44:11,314 --> 00:44:14,044 ♪ We like the really loud guitar ♪ 620 00:44:14,117 --> 00:44:16,847 ♪ Don't ever seem to get too far ♪ 621 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,787 ♪ Spend all our money in a bar ♪ 622 00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:35,037 Everybody, 623 00:44:35,105 --> 00:44:37,801 I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Jake. 624 00:44:37,874 --> 00:44:40,968 Jake, this is... everybody. 625 00:44:41,044 --> 00:44:42,978 Take it off. 626 00:44:44,047 --> 00:44:47,141 All right, whose is this? 627 00:44:47,217 --> 00:44:49,276 You're such a poop. 628 00:45:22,385 --> 00:45:25,013 ♪ Farmer John ♪ Woof! 629 00:45:25,088 --> 00:45:27,386 ♪ I'm in love with your daughter ♪ 630 00:45:30,427 --> 00:45:34,363 Oh, no. Easy, easy, easy. 631 00:45:47,977 --> 00:45:50,468 Shit, Ted, that's my mom. I got to get home. 632 00:45:50,547 --> 00:45:52,845 Change your frequency. Don't be such a wimp! 633 00:45:59,422 --> 00:46:03,290 Take those ridiculous things off, okay? 634 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,294 Will you guys grow up? 635 00:46:05,362 --> 00:46:09,628 Ted, won't we get pounded if we go to a senior party? 636 00:46:09,699 --> 00:46:13,260 Wease, we got $70, and we got a pair of girl's underpants. 637 00:46:13,336 --> 00:46:15,634 We're safe as kittens. Okay? 638 00:46:15,705 --> 00:46:18,401 This is a great social opportunity for us. 639 00:46:18,475 --> 00:46:20,409 Come on! 640 00:46:31,488 --> 00:46:34,980 Do not embarrass me, okay? For sure, we won't. 641 00:46:35,058 --> 00:46:37,356 Will you fix your hair, Bryce? I already did. 642 00:46:38,661 --> 00:46:40,822 Wease, close your barn, all right? 643 00:46:44,901 --> 00:46:47,335 And be polite to his parents. Okay. Great. 644 00:46:52,609 --> 00:46:57,410 Hey, come on in and party hearty, dude persons. 645 00:47:01,718 --> 00:47:04,687 He's from out of town, okay? He speaks English, right? 646 00:47:04,754 --> 00:47:06,847 Don't be such faggots! Man, shut up. 647 00:47:06,923 --> 00:47:10,359 Kidding. Sorry. 648 00:47:10,427 --> 00:47:12,361 Think we're going to die? 649 00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:14,363 Definitely. 650 00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:34,275 Did you put the cat out? 651 00:47:34,350 --> 00:47:36,284 We don't have a cat. 652 00:47:36,352 --> 00:47:38,411 Come on, damn it. Answer. 653 00:47:44,794 --> 00:47:47,160 Mmm. 654 00:47:48,531 --> 00:47:51,193 Aw, eat me. 655 00:47:51,267 --> 00:47:53,963 Who is it? 656 00:47:56,439 --> 00:47:58,373 Well, what did they want? 657 00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:02,178 Sex. 658 00:48:06,950 --> 00:48:08,918 Whoo. 659 00:48:08,985 --> 00:48:10,919 Geek! 660 00:48:23,032 --> 00:48:26,991 Very nice! We're five minutes in... 661 00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:29,004 I'm at a loss. 662 00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:35,238 Real smooth, Cliff. 663 00:48:40,383 --> 00:48:43,477 Ooh. 664 00:48:44,554 --> 00:48:46,579 I've never been out with a boy before. 665 00:48:46,656 --> 00:48:48,590 Oh, me neither. 666 00:48:56,499 --> 00:48:58,433 Jake? 667 00:49:00,403 --> 00:49:02,928 Where are you, Jake? 668 00:49:03,006 --> 00:49:06,271 Jakey, have you stopped loving me? 669 00:49:09,279 --> 00:49:11,213 Leave me alone. 670 00:49:22,292 --> 00:49:27,093 What? I'm sorry, I don't do that. 671 00:49:27,163 --> 00:49:29,290 Yes, you do. I know. 672 00:49:29,365 --> 00:49:33,165 Come on. Trace. You guys. 673 00:49:33,236 --> 00:49:35,227 Would you help me, please? 674 00:49:35,305 --> 00:49:38,570 Oh, shit! Come on, you guys. I'm your prom queen. 675 00:49:38,641 --> 00:49:41,769 Trace, you guys, I'm serious. 676 00:49:41,844 --> 00:49:43,778 Come on. I need help. 677 00:49:43,846 --> 00:49:46,815 Okay. I need help too. 678 00:49:46,883 --> 00:49:50,216 What is the problem? Several things. 679 00:49:55,058 --> 00:49:58,721 Okay. We'll help you. 680 00:49:58,795 --> 00:50:02,094 Don't go away, Caroline, baby. 681 00:50:07,103 --> 00:50:10,334 Hello? Hello? 682 00:50:10,406 --> 00:50:13,671 Listen, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. 683 00:50:17,947 --> 00:50:19,881 Yes, hello, sir. Um... 684 00:50:19,949 --> 00:50:22,509 Are you the little bugger that's been calling up... 685 00:50:22,585 --> 00:50:24,519 and then hanging up? 686 00:50:24,587 --> 00:50:28,250 Would it be possible to tell me if there is a Samantha Baker there? 687 00:50:28,324 --> 00:50:30,622 And if so, sir, may I converse with her briefly? 688 00:50:30,693 --> 00:50:34,595 Yes, it is. And no, you may not. 689 00:50:34,664 --> 00:50:37,132 Might I leave a message, sir? 690 00:50:39,202 --> 00:50:42,194 He wants to leave a message for Sam. 691 00:50:42,271 --> 00:50:44,364 Here, give me that phone. 692 00:50:45,441 --> 00:50:47,932 Now, you listen to me, mister. 693 00:50:48,011 --> 00:50:51,674 God did not put me on this earth to be awakened by filthy suggestions... 694 00:50:51,748 --> 00:50:54,808 from a foul-mouthed hooligan like you. 695 00:50:54,884 --> 00:50:58,047 And as for our granddaughter, I'm sure she has more than enough sense... 696 00:50:58,121 --> 00:51:00,180 to stay clear of the likes of you! 697 00:51:00,256 --> 00:51:02,383 Now, good night and good-bye! 698 00:51:07,530 --> 00:51:09,498 That was great. 699 00:51:09,565 --> 00:51:13,831 Sam's lucky she has us, Howard. Yeah. 700 00:51:13,903 --> 00:51:17,339 Even if she doesn't appreciate us. 701 00:51:18,741 --> 00:51:22,370 Do you promise you won't get mad? No, I love you. 702 00:51:22,445 --> 00:51:24,811 Okay, close your eyes. 703 00:51:25,982 --> 00:51:28,883 Scalpel. Scalpel. 704 00:51:37,193 --> 00:51:39,923 Oooh! My God. 705 00:51:43,066 --> 00:51:45,591 That was wonderful! 706 00:51:47,403 --> 00:51:49,871 I don't know how to thank you enough. 707 00:51:49,939 --> 00:51:51,873 My pleasure. 708 00:52:05,621 --> 00:52:08,852 My God! Wow. 709 00:52:08,925 --> 00:52:11,758 I hope they have insurance. The party's over. 710 00:53:14,991 --> 00:53:16,925 What a disaster. 711 00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:45,115 Jake! 712 00:53:46,889 --> 00:53:49,357 Sam. 713 00:53:49,425 --> 00:53:51,359 Sweetheart? 714 00:53:52,428 --> 00:53:56,660 Daddy? Hi, kiddo. 715 00:53:56,732 --> 00:54:00,168 What's wrong? Nothing. Everything's fine. 716 00:54:01,304 --> 00:54:03,602 I was just upstairs, and I couldn't sleep. 717 00:54:06,576 --> 00:54:10,012 I feel like a real jerk, honey. 718 00:54:10,079 --> 00:54:12,013 We forgot your birthday. 719 00:54:15,885 --> 00:54:18,718 I bet you're really P.O.'d, huh? 720 00:54:18,788 --> 00:54:23,225 No, it's okay. I'm not really all that upset anymore. 721 00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:28,890 This wedding is really turning this entire house inside out. 722 00:54:28,965 --> 00:54:32,560 And I just came down to tell you that we did remember. 723 00:54:33,636 --> 00:54:35,467 Thanks, Dad. 724 00:54:37,373 --> 00:54:39,307 Happy birthday. 725 00:54:49,619 --> 00:54:52,213 Is something else wrong? 726 00:54:52,288 --> 00:54:54,222 No, why? 727 00:54:54,290 --> 00:54:57,316 I don't know, I just get the feeling that something's bothering you. 728 00:54:57,393 --> 00:55:00,328 Something other than your birthday. 729 00:55:00,396 --> 00:55:03,365 No, I'm fine. Really. 730 00:55:08,404 --> 00:55:10,565 I think I know what it is. 731 00:55:13,276 --> 00:55:15,267 It has to do with a certain guy? 732 00:55:22,118 --> 00:55:24,450 I know, honey. I know. 733 00:55:28,424 --> 00:55:31,985 We're all upset that Ginny's marrying a bohunk. 734 00:55:37,300 --> 00:55:40,531 What's the matter? 735 00:55:40,603 --> 00:55:42,696 I meant Jake. 736 00:55:42,772 --> 00:55:44,740 Jake? 737 00:55:44,807 --> 00:55:48,368 Wait a minute. I thought she said his name was Rudy. Forget it. 738 00:55:48,444 --> 00:55:50,969 Forget what? Who's Jake? 739 00:55:53,015 --> 00:55:55,108 He's a boy, Daddy. It's nothing. 740 00:55:55,184 --> 00:55:57,618 Okay? Just forget it, please. 741 00:55:57,687 --> 00:55:59,746 Come on, Sam. We're not communicating. 742 00:55:59,822 --> 00:56:04,384 It's extremely embarrassing, okay? 743 00:56:04,460 --> 00:56:06,485 What's embarrassing? 744 00:56:06,562 --> 00:56:10,225 Sitting in the dark with your dad, telling him about your love life. 745 00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:14,167 I'm afraid you lost me again, Sam. 746 00:56:16,939 --> 00:56:20,773 Jake is a senior, and he's beautiful and perfect. 747 00:56:20,843 --> 00:56:23,573 I like him a real lot, and he doesn't like me. Okay? 748 00:56:23,646 --> 00:56:25,546 Oh. 749 00:56:26,782 --> 00:56:28,773 And he's got this incredible girlfriend. 750 00:56:28,851 --> 00:56:31,945 I'm just this ridiculous dork that's following him around like a puppy. 751 00:56:32,021 --> 00:56:34,489 Why do you think you're a dork? 752 00:56:34,557 --> 00:56:38,015 I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork. 753 00:56:38,094 --> 00:56:40,619 - Mike thinks I'm a dork. - Mike is a dork. 754 00:56:40,696 --> 00:56:43,824 But so am I. 755 00:56:43,899 --> 00:56:47,665 Well, if it's any consolation, I love you. 756 00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:52,606 And if this guy can't see in you all the beautiful and wonderful things that I see, 757 00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:55,109 then he's got the problem. 758 00:56:55,177 --> 00:56:57,145 I know. It just hurts. 759 00:56:58,581 --> 00:57:01,277 That's why they call them crushes. 760 00:57:01,350 --> 00:57:04,547 If they were easy, they'd call them something else. 761 00:57:04,620 --> 00:57:07,020 But if I were Ginny, 762 00:57:07,089 --> 00:57:09,751 I'd have this guy crawling on his knees. 763 00:57:09,825 --> 00:57:12,589 Well, let me tell you something about Ginny. 764 00:57:12,661 --> 00:57:16,529 Now, I love her as much as I love you. But she's a different person. 765 00:57:16,599 --> 00:57:19,932 Sometimes I worry about her. 766 00:57:20,002 --> 00:57:22,334 When you're given things kind of easily, 767 00:57:22,405 --> 00:57:24,873 you don't always appreciate them. 768 00:57:24,940 --> 00:57:27,568 With you, I'm not worried. 769 00:57:27,643 --> 00:57:32,046 When it happens to you, Samantha, it'll be forever. 770 00:57:36,619 --> 00:57:41,750 Well, I don't think I'll be able to sleep if I don't feel this little talk has helped you. 771 00:57:41,824 --> 00:57:44,850 So would you be a sport and lie to me? 772 00:57:44,927 --> 00:57:47,191 Yeah, sure, Daddy. 773 00:57:47,263 --> 00:57:49,891 Good night, sweetheart. Good night. 774 00:57:56,305 --> 00:57:58,330 Oh, one more thing, sweetheart. 775 00:57:58,407 --> 00:58:00,671 What? 776 00:58:00,743 --> 00:58:04,235 When you do find the right guy, don't let him boss you around. 777 00:58:05,881 --> 00:58:09,647 Make sure he knows you wear the pants in the family. 778 00:58:13,522 --> 00:58:16,082 These are really hers? Yeah. 779 00:58:16,158 --> 00:58:18,353 How did you get them? 780 00:58:18,427 --> 00:58:20,622 She gave them to me. 781 00:58:20,696 --> 00:58:23,756 Did you... No! No, Jake. 782 00:58:23,833 --> 00:58:25,767 She's crying for you. 783 00:58:25,835 --> 00:58:28,463 I told her you asked about her. Right? The girl freaked. 784 00:58:28,537 --> 00:58:32,803 She had a hissy. She thinks you're the cat's meow. Really? 785 00:58:32,875 --> 00:58:35,343 Yeah. She came up to me in the gym tonight. 786 00:58:35,411 --> 00:58:38,141 She looked at me like I was a leper. 787 00:58:38,214 --> 00:58:40,148 Girls'll do that, Jake. 788 00:58:40,216 --> 00:58:42,946 You see, they know guys are, like, in perpetual heat, right? 789 00:58:43,018 --> 00:58:46,146 They know this shit. And they enjoy pumping us up. 790 00:58:46,222 --> 00:58:48,713 It's pure power politics, I'm telling you. 791 00:58:48,791 --> 00:58:50,816 I thought she hated my guts. 792 00:58:50,893 --> 00:58:54,385 Games, Jake. Silly, torturous games. 793 00:58:54,463 --> 00:58:58,126 You know how many times a week I go without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? 794 00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:01,328 Any halfway decent girl can rob me blind! 795 00:59:01,403 --> 00:59:03,837 Because I'm too torqued up to say no. 796 00:59:03,906 --> 00:59:06,204 It's heinous, I'm telling you. 797 00:59:06,275 --> 00:59:08,300 You better not be dicking me around. 798 00:59:08,377 --> 00:59:10,311 It'd be a major downer to try and get together... 799 00:59:10,379 --> 00:59:13,348 and find out she really does think I'm a slime. 800 00:59:13,415 --> 00:59:15,713 Jake, would I dick you? 801 00:59:15,784 --> 00:59:17,809 Let me put it to you this way. 802 00:59:17,887 --> 00:59:19,821 What happens to me if I dick you? 803 00:59:19,889 --> 00:59:22,289 I'd kick your ass. 804 00:59:22,358 --> 00:59:24,588 Right. So why would I lie? 805 00:59:24,660 --> 00:59:27,857 But I feel compelled to mention, Jake, 806 00:59:27,930 --> 00:59:30,865 if all you want is a piece of ass, I mean, 807 00:59:30,933 --> 00:59:34,596 I'll either do it myself, or get someone bigger than me, 808 00:59:34,670 --> 00:59:37,002 to kick your ass. 809 00:59:37,072 --> 00:59:41,372 I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today... 810 00:59:41,443 --> 00:59:44,537 would give their underwear to help a geek like me. 811 00:59:44,613 --> 00:59:47,548 I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. 812 00:59:47,616 --> 00:59:51,313 Shit, I got Caroline in my bedroom right now, passed out cold. 813 00:59:51,387 --> 00:59:54,879 I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to. 814 00:59:54,957 --> 00:59:57,892 What are you waiting for? I don't know. 815 00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:01,088 She's beautiful, and she's built and all that. 816 01:00:01,163 --> 01:00:04,155 I'm just not interested anymore. 817 01:00:04,233 --> 01:00:07,259 Does that really matter, guy? Yeah, it matters. 818 01:00:07,336 --> 01:00:10,737 She's totally insensitive. Look what she did to my house. 819 01:00:12,007 --> 01:00:14,032 She doesn't know shit about love. 820 01:00:14,109 --> 01:00:16,373 Only thing she cares about is partying. 821 01:00:16,445 --> 01:00:18,879 I want a serious girlfriend. 822 01:00:18,948 --> 01:00:21,542 Somebody I can love, that's going to love me back. 823 01:00:23,886 --> 01:00:26,719 Is that psycho? 824 01:00:27,923 --> 01:00:29,857 That's beautiful, Jake. 825 01:00:29,925 --> 01:00:32,792 I think a ton of guys feel the same way as you do. Really? 826 01:00:32,861 --> 01:00:35,625 Yeah. It's just they don't... They don't have the balls to admit it. 827 01:00:35,698 --> 01:00:38,258 You know? They're just... They're wimps. 828 01:00:39,568 --> 01:00:42,036 Samantha's, uh... She's really special, you know? 829 01:00:42,104 --> 01:00:44,072 I'll make a deal with you. 830 01:00:44,139 --> 01:00:48,701 Let me keep these. I'll let you take Caroline home. 831 01:00:48,777 --> 01:00:52,178 But you got to make sure she gets home. You can't leave her in some parking lot somewhere. 832 01:00:52,248 --> 01:00:54,739 Okay? 833 01:00:54,817 --> 01:00:56,751 Jake, I'm only a freshman. 834 01:00:56,819 --> 01:01:00,152 So? She's so blitzed, she won't know the difference. 835 01:01:00,222 --> 01:01:03,453 Jake, I don't have a car. You can take mine. 836 01:01:03,525 --> 01:01:07,757 Jake, I don't have a licence. I trust you. 837 01:01:11,934 --> 01:01:15,700 Jake, I'd love to. I can't. Want a pretzel? 838 01:01:15,771 --> 01:01:18,740 You sure? Positive. 839 01:01:30,719 --> 01:01:32,653 I got her. You got her? 840 01:01:32,721 --> 01:01:34,655 Yeah. 841 01:01:44,700 --> 01:01:47,362 Is this, uh, your car, Jake? No, this is my dad's car. 842 01:01:47,436 --> 01:01:50,132 You said you couldn't drive a stick. 843 01:01:50,205 --> 01:01:52,696 This is a mother... 844 01:01:52,775 --> 01:01:55,005 This is a Rolls-Royce, Jake. 845 01:01:55,077 --> 01:01:57,875 So? So! So. 846 01:01:57,946 --> 01:02:00,779 I heard the grill alone cost five grand on this. 847 01:02:00,849 --> 01:02:04,478 Five grand! I don't have five grand. 848 01:02:04,553 --> 01:02:06,953 Then don't hit anything. Ahh, don't hit anything. 849 01:02:07,022 --> 01:02:09,013 Do you want to do this or not? 850 01:02:09,091 --> 01:02:11,025 No. 851 01:02:13,996 --> 01:02:17,295 Who the hell? Who does he... 852 01:02:38,454 --> 01:02:41,287 Mm-hmm. Mmm. 853 01:02:43,425 --> 01:02:47,156 Who's he? That's me. 854 01:02:53,569 --> 01:02:56,129 Who are you? I'm him. 855 01:03:01,477 --> 01:03:03,843 Oh. 856 01:03:03,912 --> 01:03:05,846 Okay. 857 01:03:05,914 --> 01:03:07,973 She's totally gone. Have fun. 858 01:03:08,050 --> 01:03:10,541 Thanks. 859 01:03:15,657 --> 01:03:19,218 Jake, is your dad a big man, or... About 6'4". 860 01:03:19,294 --> 01:03:21,228 Very nice. 861 01:03:24,032 --> 01:03:25,966 Ho. 862 01:03:26,034 --> 01:03:28,559 Ohh. Oh. 863 01:03:31,507 --> 01:03:33,941 Ho. 864 01:03:34,009 --> 01:03:37,809 Easy. Easy. 865 01:03:40,149 --> 01:03:42,709 ♪ 866 01:03:55,864 --> 01:03:58,662 ♪Hey, sucker ♪ 867 01:03:58,734 --> 01:04:01,897 ♪ What the hell's got into you ♪ 868 01:04:04,306 --> 01:04:06,297 ♪ Hey, sucker ♪ 869 01:04:10,679 --> 01:04:13,239 Oh, sexy girlfriend. 870 01:04:15,150 --> 01:04:17,812 Banzai! 871 01:05:02,631 --> 01:05:04,599 Think they liked us? Definitely. 872 01:05:04,666 --> 01:05:06,930 Whoo! Go, darling geek! 873 01:05:07,002 --> 01:05:09,163 Uh, could we turn that music down? I'm a first-time driver. 874 01:05:09,238 --> 01:05:11,172 I need to concentrate. 875 01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:14,107 Excuse me! Stop that. 876 01:05:14,176 --> 01:05:17,009 Looks like rain. Better put the top up! 877 01:05:17,079 --> 01:05:20,105 Will you stop that? You can get us in a lot of trouble doing that! 878 01:05:20,182 --> 01:05:23,379 This is a car! 879 01:05:23,452 --> 01:05:26,353 It hasn't got Triple A on it. 880 01:05:26,421 --> 01:05:30,687 Chugalug, Pooh bear. 881 01:05:30,759 --> 01:05:32,750 I can't believe you're so popular, acting like this. 882 01:05:35,163 --> 01:05:38,758 Relax! Hello? 883 01:05:38,834 --> 01:05:40,995 Oh, uh, I don't know. I'll have to look. 884 01:05:41,069 --> 01:05:45,631 Mr. Ryan, are you in here? He's not... Mr. Ryan's not in right now. 885 01:05:45,707 --> 01:05:48,232 My Christmas present to you! 886 01:05:48,310 --> 01:05:51,802 Thank you. No. Really. Serious. 887 01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,407 See? See? 888 01:05:55,484 --> 01:05:58,317 Thank you. 889 01:05:58,387 --> 01:06:01,151 Now we're both on the pill! 890 01:06:06,995 --> 01:06:09,088 You gave me a birth control pill? 891 01:06:09,164 --> 01:06:11,155 You have any idea what that'll do to a guy my age? 892 01:06:11,233 --> 01:06:13,827 I know exactly what it'll do to a girl my age. 893 01:06:13,902 --> 01:06:16,336 "Just climb in the car!" Shit. 894 01:06:16,405 --> 01:06:20,239 It makes it okay to be super careless. Wait, wait! 895 01:06:24,246 --> 01:06:26,942 Ha-ha! 896 01:06:27,015 --> 01:06:30,382 Look, we're not going any further until you stop these childish antics. 897 01:06:30,452 --> 01:06:32,784 Don't be such a poop. 898 01:06:32,854 --> 01:06:35,618 Huh. On second thought. 899 01:06:35,691 --> 01:06:37,625 I love you. 900 01:06:42,264 --> 01:06:44,596 This is getting good. 901 01:07:08,690 --> 01:07:10,624 Ted, what the hell are you doing? 902 01:07:10,692 --> 01:07:12,626 Are those humongous jocks back? 903 01:07:14,696 --> 01:07:18,655 Do you have any film in your camera? What? 904 01:07:18,734 --> 01:07:21,567 Take those ridiculous things off. 905 01:07:21,637 --> 01:07:25,004 Do you have any film in your camera? Sure. 906 01:07:25,073 --> 01:07:28,565 Okay. Go get it and bring it outside. Okay? Right out front. 907 01:07:28,644 --> 01:07:32,637 What for? Look, just get it and come on out front, okay? 908 01:07:32,714 --> 01:07:35,182 U.F.O.? It's better. 909 01:07:35,250 --> 01:07:39,653 Extraterrestrial? It's better! All right? Just get it and come outside. 910 01:07:39,721 --> 01:07:41,655 Female extraterrestrial? 911 01:07:42,958 --> 01:07:44,949 It's better than... Shh! 912 01:07:45,027 --> 01:07:47,518 Better than female extraterrestrial? 913 01:07:47,596 --> 01:07:50,565 How do you tell if it's a female? 'Cause it's got tits. 914 01:07:50,632 --> 01:07:52,759 What makes them different than regular tits? 915 01:07:52,834 --> 01:07:57,362 They got four. Just get the camera. It's in the closet. 916 01:07:57,439 --> 01:08:01,307 Don't go in the closet. 917 01:08:03,378 --> 01:08:05,312 Such assholes. I can't believe it. 918 01:08:07,716 --> 01:08:10,480 You should check that out. Why do you always have to argue? 919 01:08:10,552 --> 01:08:14,044 I'm not arguing. I am not! I am not! Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 920 01:08:14,122 --> 01:08:17,523 Every time I do something, bitch, bitch, bitch. Bitch is a female dog. 921 01:08:17,592 --> 01:08:21,653 I am not even. What's that supposed to mean? 922 01:08:21,730 --> 01:08:23,755 Shit! Shoot! 923 01:08:41,049 --> 01:08:43,609 Ted, that's a Rolls-Royce. 924 01:08:43,685 --> 01:08:47,746 Ted, that's the prom queen. You got two girls in one night. 925 01:08:47,823 --> 01:08:50,815 I told you dudes I was hot. Hot? You're a legend! 926 01:08:50,892 --> 01:08:55,226 Will you shut up? People around here work, all right? 927 01:08:55,297 --> 01:08:57,663 Will you hurry it up? I'm breaking, like, 30 major laws here. 928 01:08:57,733 --> 01:09:02,067 You know, Ted, nobody's going to believe you. 929 01:09:02,137 --> 01:09:05,163 No way. 930 01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:10,075 That, my friends, is what the pictures are for. Okay? 931 01:09:23,725 --> 01:09:25,659 Just get that thing there. 932 01:09:25,727 --> 01:09:29,720 - Are you guys ready? - Wait, hold on. 933 01:09:29,798 --> 01:09:33,199 Put it down just a bit. You guys know what you're doing here? 934 01:09:33,268 --> 01:09:35,702 All right, just a minute. 935 01:09:35,771 --> 01:09:38,205 How's this look? Very nice. 936 01:09:38,273 --> 01:09:42,972 Wait, black and white. It would capture the moment so nicely. Oooh. 937 01:09:43,044 --> 01:09:45,740 Will you take the picture already? 938 01:09:45,814 --> 01:09:48,647 You're pissing me off, I'm telling you. 939 01:09:51,186 --> 01:09:54,986 Smile, pumpkin. What? Oh! Pictures! 940 01:09:55,056 --> 01:09:57,115 Cheers! 941 01:10:32,294 --> 01:10:35,229 Marlene! Ohh! 942 01:10:35,297 --> 01:10:37,231 Chill out, boy. 943 01:10:37,299 --> 01:10:39,290 Mike, honey. Go get dressed. 944 01:10:39,367 --> 01:10:42,700 I can't believe it. Ginny's not in the shower. 945 01:10:42,771 --> 01:10:46,571 I wouldn't go in there. Grandpa Fred was in there for a half an hour. 946 01:10:46,641 --> 01:10:49,235 It's totally polluted. Get dressed. 947 01:10:49,311 --> 01:10:51,245 It's your nose. 948 01:10:54,950 --> 01:10:56,884 They never listen. 949 01:10:56,952 --> 01:11:01,321 What was he wearing? Well, he would have... 950 01:11:01,389 --> 01:11:06,156 He was wearing a red argyle sweater and tan trousers. 951 01:11:06,228 --> 01:11:08,492 Mmm. And red shoes. 952 01:11:08,563 --> 01:11:11,726 Hmm? No, he's not retarded. 953 01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:16,066 Now, what can I do to help? Well, you could finish the French toast. 954 01:11:16,137 --> 01:11:18,867 Good. 955 01:11:18,940 --> 01:11:21,636 I'll, uh... I'll just open the doughnuts. 956 01:11:21,710 --> 01:11:26,079 Good thinking. Oops. Don't want to lose the nails. 957 01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:36,350 I'll just wait until I hear from you, then. Voila. Breakfast is ready. 958 01:11:38,460 --> 01:11:40,758 Oh, Sam. 959 01:11:40,829 --> 01:11:44,356 Sam, I am so sorry about your birthday. 960 01:11:44,432 --> 01:11:48,095 It's okay. I'll recover. 961 01:11:48,169 --> 01:11:51,434 It's important to you. 962 01:11:51,506 --> 01:11:56,170 And yesterday morning, you were trying to tell me. 963 01:11:56,244 --> 01:11:58,576 It's okay, Mom. 964 01:11:58,647 --> 01:12:00,672 These things sometimes happen. 965 01:12:00,749 --> 01:12:04,310 Oh, honey, I just feel miserable. 966 01:12:04,386 --> 01:12:06,286 You'll feel better. 967 01:12:06,354 --> 01:12:08,686 Who died? 968 01:12:08,757 --> 01:12:11,351 Uh... 969 01:12:11,426 --> 01:12:14,395 Is there something you want to say to your sister? 970 01:12:14,462 --> 01:12:18,125 What? Are you kidding? Where should I start? 971 01:12:18,199 --> 01:12:20,133 I mean about her birthday. 972 01:12:20,201 --> 01:12:23,193 It was yesterday. We all forgot. 973 01:12:23,271 --> 01:12:26,331 Classic. 974 01:12:33,148 --> 01:12:35,343 Deep down, he's really sorry. 975 01:12:39,421 --> 01:12:42,390 No, he's not. 976 01:12:42,457 --> 01:12:45,551 I have to go to this wedding and look like Miss Pretty Princess... 977 01:12:45,627 --> 01:12:47,561 in this dipshit's bridesmaid's dress. 978 01:12:47,629 --> 01:12:51,190 I don't have one-tenth of the bod to fill the stupid bust up. 979 01:12:51,266 --> 01:12:53,894 So what? Should I just waste myself and spare the agony? 980 01:12:53,969 --> 01:12:57,928 I was going to tell you something, but maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad. 981 01:12:58,006 --> 01:13:00,907 You may as well. Nothing could shock me anymore. 982 01:13:00,976 --> 01:13:03,444 Last night at the dance, 983 01:13:03,511 --> 01:13:05,945 my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear. 984 01:13:08,883 --> 01:13:12,910 Geez! I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish! 985 01:13:12,988 --> 01:13:15,081 Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie. 986 01:13:20,395 --> 01:13:23,364 Sam, you're dragging your dress, honey. Pick it up. 987 01:13:23,431 --> 01:13:27,731 Come on, Ginny. Hurry up, Susie. Why is she so slow? 988 01:13:27,802 --> 01:13:30,532 Do not fuss at your sister. It's her wedding day. Big deal. 989 01:13:30,605 --> 01:13:35,406 All right, is everybody in? Oh, dear. Are you all right, Ginny? 990 01:13:42,150 --> 01:13:45,642 Come on, everybody. 991 01:13:47,322 --> 01:13:50,485 Get in the car, please. We're late already. 992 01:13:58,867 --> 01:14:03,531 Helen, will you get in the car? I don't know what they're fussing about. 993 01:14:03,605 --> 01:14:05,596 Helen, get in the car! 994 01:14:16,084 --> 01:14:20,020 Hey, Howard, there's your Chinaman. 995 01:14:20,088 --> 01:14:23,649 Thanks, Fred. Bye, Dong. 996 01:14:23,725 --> 01:14:26,387 What the... What's he doing on the ground there? 997 01:14:26,461 --> 01:14:28,691 What happened? 998 01:14:28,763 --> 01:14:32,756 Hold a mirror in front of his mouth. Howard! He's dead! 999 01:14:32,834 --> 01:14:35,803 Aw, shit. I pay seven grand for a wedding, I'll never see it! 1000 01:14:35,870 --> 01:14:39,169 Oh, watch your language, Mr. Dirty Mouth. 1001 01:14:40,408 --> 01:14:44,037 Oh, thank God, he is still warm. Oh, good. 1002 01:14:44,112 --> 01:14:46,603 Here, I-I'll help you. Roll him over. 1003 01:14:49,484 --> 01:14:52,180 Ugh. Canine cologne. 1004 01:14:52,253 --> 01:14:55,518 Oh, no more yankie my wankie. 1005 01:14:55,590 --> 01:14:59,219 The Donger need food! 1006 01:14:59,294 --> 01:15:03,094 Hell, he's three sheets to the wind! 1007 01:15:03,164 --> 01:15:07,294 He's drunk as a skunk! Shut up, Fred. Shut up. 1008 01:15:07,368 --> 01:15:10,166 Dong! 1009 01:15:10,238 --> 01:15:13,571 Dong. 1010 01:15:13,641 --> 01:15:16,007 Dong, Grandpa is talking to you. 1011 01:15:18,446 --> 01:15:22,815 Dong! Where is my automobile? 1012 01:15:22,884 --> 01:15:27,321 Automobile? 1013 01:15:35,196 --> 01:15:37,426 Lake. Big lake. 1014 01:15:37,499 --> 01:15:39,729 Ohh! 1015 01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:43,362 Why, you little scuzzbag! 1016 01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:48,273 Oh, my. Is everything all right? 1017 01:15:48,343 --> 01:15:51,278 I was afraid you'd had an accident. 1018 01:15:51,346 --> 01:15:55,874 I wish. Her monthly bill came early. 1019 01:15:57,652 --> 01:16:00,644 Well, she's fine. 1020 01:16:00,722 --> 01:16:02,747 Uh, she just took a muscle relaxer. 1021 01:16:02,824 --> 01:16:05,190 Try four. 1022 01:16:05,260 --> 01:16:07,194 You didn't. Mother! 1023 01:16:26,814 --> 01:16:31,751 Damn, Mom! I've got my headgear on. Will you wake up? 1024 01:16:31,819 --> 01:16:34,379 Where the hell am I? 1025 01:16:34,455 --> 01:16:38,016 I'll, uh, tell you where you are, if you'll tell me who you are. 1026 01:16:39,994 --> 01:16:44,727 Farmer Ted. You're in the parking lot across the street from my church. 1027 01:16:46,734 --> 01:16:48,668 You own a church? 1028 01:16:53,808 --> 01:16:57,938 What happened? I have no idea. 1029 01:17:01,849 --> 01:17:04,010 Did I do that to your hair? 1030 01:17:05,420 --> 01:17:07,547 At this point, anything is possible. 1031 01:17:10,892 --> 01:17:14,953 Um, I... Uh... 1032 01:17:15,029 --> 01:17:16,963 Did, um... 1033 01:17:18,733 --> 01:17:22,032 Did we, uh... Yeah. 1034 01:17:22,103 --> 01:17:24,196 I'm pretty sure. 1035 01:17:26,274 --> 01:17:29,903 Um, excuse me, but do you... 1036 01:17:29,978 --> 01:17:33,675 Do you know if... Um, did I enjoy it? 1037 01:17:33,748 --> 01:17:36,273 Am I nuts? Of course I enjoyed it. 1038 01:17:36,351 --> 01:17:40,447 I mean, um... What I meant was, uh, did you? 1039 01:17:43,224 --> 01:17:46,057 Hmm. 1040 01:17:46,127 --> 01:17:48,721 You know, I have this weird feeling I did. 1041 01:17:58,473 --> 01:18:01,806 Here, Ginny. Drink this. 1042 01:18:01,876 --> 01:18:03,867 Come on. 1043 01:18:03,945 --> 01:18:06,709 Here. 1044 01:18:10,818 --> 01:18:12,752 Wow. 1045 01:18:12,820 --> 01:18:16,654 Do I feel funky! Uh-huh. 1046 01:18:35,009 --> 01:18:37,944 Okay. I'm coming. 1047 01:18:39,147 --> 01:18:43,106 Hello? Geez, this place is so confusing. 1048 01:18:44,852 --> 01:18:46,786 Okay. 1049 01:18:55,530 --> 01:18:58,260 Go away! I call F.I.B.! I call police! 1050 01:18:58,333 --> 01:19:00,460 Go away! Open the door. 1051 01:19:00,535 --> 01:19:03,197 No way, Jose! Open the door. 1052 01:19:03,271 --> 01:19:07,071 You beat up my face! You grabbed my nuts. 1053 01:19:10,511 --> 01:19:13,071 Is that you? Yeah. That me. 1054 01:19:15,783 --> 01:19:17,717 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1055 01:19:17,785 --> 01:19:21,551 I thought you my new... new-style American girlfriend. 1056 01:19:21,622 --> 01:19:23,681 Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right? 1057 01:19:23,758 --> 01:19:26,625 She not here. Don't jerk me around, man. Where is she? 1058 01:19:26,694 --> 01:19:28,491 - She got married. - What? 1059 01:19:28,563 --> 01:19:32,659 She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk. 1060 01:19:32,734 --> 01:19:35,225 Married? Married. 1061 01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:38,830 Married? Yeah. Married. 1062 01:19:41,109 --> 01:19:43,043 Married? 1063 01:19:43,111 --> 01:19:45,841 Married! Geez. 1064 01:19:52,220 --> 01:19:54,620 Are you going to be all right, sweetie? 1065 01:19:54,689 --> 01:19:58,386 It's going to be a piece of cake, Bren. 1066 01:20:01,162 --> 01:20:04,723 Um, Ginny, I'm really happy for you. 1067 01:20:04,799 --> 01:20:08,132 I'm sorry for being kind of a jerk lately. 1068 01:20:09,303 --> 01:20:11,703 That's really lovely, Sam. 1069 01:20:11,773 --> 01:20:13,968 I know you'll have a great marriage. 1070 01:20:17,678 --> 01:20:20,909 Ginny! 1071 01:20:24,385 --> 01:20:26,979 - Holy shit! - She just had a cramp. 1072 01:20:27,054 --> 01:20:31,787 I don't care what she's got! Look at her! Will you be quiet? 1073 01:20:31,859 --> 01:20:35,295 We don't want to announce that she has her period! 1074 01:20:35,363 --> 01:20:38,821 I guess those guys who thought we had to get married feel pretty stupid, huh, Padre? 1075 01:20:49,744 --> 01:20:52,907 ♪ Here comes the bride ♪ 1076 01:20:52,980 --> 01:20:57,610 ♪ Big, fat and wide ♪ 1077 01:21:08,596 --> 01:21:10,530 Loved the teapot. 1078 01:21:13,468 --> 01:21:15,561 Excuse me. 1079 01:21:19,707 --> 01:21:23,541 Could you move over? Oh! 1080 01:21:25,646 --> 01:21:27,671 Are you okay? I got to rest. 1081 01:21:27,748 --> 01:21:29,841 Come on. Here we go. What's the matter? 1082 01:21:29,917 --> 01:21:32,078 Here comes the bride. 1083 01:21:32,153 --> 01:21:34,815 Oh! 1084 01:21:44,098 --> 01:21:46,760 Sorry. 1085 01:21:46,834 --> 01:21:48,768 I got it. I got it! 1086 01:21:51,672 --> 01:21:53,902 Hi. 1087 01:21:55,376 --> 01:21:58,834 I know you. 1088 01:21:58,913 --> 01:22:01,882 Can't see with this thing on. 1089 01:22:04,652 --> 01:22:08,713 ♪ Boom, bah-boom ♪ I never went out with a freshman. 1090 01:22:08,789 --> 01:22:10,723 ♪ Bah-boom, bah-boom ♪ Not even when I was a freshman. 1091 01:22:10,791 --> 01:22:14,625 Me either. You were pretty crazy. 1092 01:22:14,695 --> 01:22:16,595 ♪ Bah, bah, bah-boom ♪ I was? 1093 01:22:16,664 --> 01:22:20,657 Yeah. You know what I like best? 1094 01:22:20,735 --> 01:22:23,431 My clean, close shave? No. 1095 01:22:23,504 --> 01:22:27,338 ♪ Clean, close shave, ahh ♪ Waking up in your arms. 1096 01:22:27,408 --> 01:22:30,639 ♪ Ah ♪ These things? 1097 01:22:30,711 --> 01:22:34,272 ♪ Boom, boom-boom, boom ♪ 1098 01:22:34,348 --> 01:22:36,816 ♪ Ooh ♪ Shit. 1099 01:22:36,884 --> 01:22:38,818 Mmm? Jake. 1100 01:22:38,886 --> 01:22:40,854 Jake. 1101 01:22:42,823 --> 01:22:44,757 Holy shit. 1102 01:22:50,865 --> 01:22:53,493 Stay here, okay? Oh, my God. 1103 01:22:57,872 --> 01:22:59,806 I'm dead. 1104 01:23:10,251 --> 01:23:12,446 Hello? Ted. You never called us back. 1105 01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:15,921 What happened? Look, Wease. I told you not to call me here. 1106 01:23:15,990 --> 01:23:18,424 Ted, we're dying. What happened? 1107 01:23:18,492 --> 01:23:21,154 You want to know what happened? Buy the book. Ted! 1108 01:23:29,403 --> 01:23:32,065 I'm really sorry about getting you mixed up with that guy. 1109 01:23:32,139 --> 01:23:34,164 Oh, it's okay. 1110 01:23:34,241 --> 01:23:36,300 He wasn't too terrible. 1111 01:23:36,377 --> 01:23:38,538 Weird? 1112 01:23:40,414 --> 01:23:42,712 I'm really sorry about last night. 1113 01:23:42,783 --> 01:23:45,047 The party. 1114 01:23:45,119 --> 01:23:47,713 Lots of things. 1115 01:23:50,825 --> 01:23:53,760 You know, neither one of us is going to die... 1116 01:23:53,828 --> 01:23:57,127 if it doesn't happen for us. 1117 01:23:57,198 --> 01:23:59,723 That's true. 1118 01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:01,893 I just don't know right now. 1119 01:24:01,969 --> 01:24:04,437 But I'm covered, okay? I... I won't get hurt. 1120 01:24:06,674 --> 01:24:08,608 Sure. 1121 01:24:10,611 --> 01:24:12,545 I'll leave it up to you. 1122 01:24:13,948 --> 01:24:15,882 Fine. 1123 01:24:59,193 --> 01:25:02,754 Oh, my God! Her veil! 1124 01:25:31,058 --> 01:25:33,288 Come on, honey. 1125 01:25:33,360 --> 01:25:36,227 Honey. Good-bye! 1126 01:25:36,297 --> 01:25:38,822 Come on. Here we go. 1127 01:25:38,899 --> 01:25:40,833 Get her in the back seat, Rudy! 1128 01:25:40,901 --> 01:25:43,563 Bon voyage! 1129 01:25:46,440 --> 01:25:48,374 See you later. Bye! 1130 01:25:48,442 --> 01:25:50,933 Good-bye! So long, kids! 1131 01:25:51,011 --> 01:25:53,605 Ohh! 1132 01:26:05,159 --> 01:26:09,186 Oh, hi. Uh, my sister forgot her veil. 1133 01:26:09,263 --> 01:26:12,027 I know she wouldn't want anything to happen to it. She's, um... 1134 01:26:12,099 --> 01:26:15,500 She's a little out of it. Just a little bit. 1135 01:26:15,569 --> 01:26:18,367 Yeah. Uh, well, excuse me. 1136 01:26:18,439 --> 01:26:21,875 Everybody's waiting for me. I want to make sure I see my sister leave. 1137 01:26:21,942 --> 01:26:25,537 Good-bye. Bye. 1138 01:26:25,613 --> 01:26:27,979 Oh, I need a drink. 1139 01:26:41,028 --> 01:26:44,964 ♪ 1140 01:26:58,445 --> 01:27:01,573 ♪ If you were here I could deceive you ♪ 1141 01:27:01,649 --> 01:27:03,116 Yeah, you. 1142 01:27:06,620 --> 01:27:11,648 ♪ If you were here You would believe ♪ 1143 01:27:14,161 --> 01:27:17,892 ♪ But would you suspect ♪ Hi. 1144 01:27:17,965 --> 01:27:20,934 Hi. Hi. 1145 01:27:23,370 --> 01:27:26,533 What are you doing here? I heard you were here. 1146 01:27:27,975 --> 01:27:30,443 You came here for me? 1147 01:27:30,511 --> 01:27:34,413 Is that okay? Yeah. It's okay. 1148 01:27:34,481 --> 01:27:36,949 Do you have to go to the reception now? 1149 01:27:38,319 --> 01:27:41,117 I'm supposed to. 1150 01:27:41,188 --> 01:27:43,554 Can I call you later? Sure. 1151 01:27:46,126 --> 01:27:48,060 I mean, no. 1152 01:27:49,797 --> 01:27:51,924 No, I can't call you later? 1153 01:27:51,999 --> 01:27:53,933 Yeah. 1154 01:27:54,001 --> 01:27:59,064 No, I mean... I'm not going to the reception. 1155 01:27:59,139 --> 01:28:01,073 Oh. Great. 1156 01:28:46,487 --> 01:28:49,388 Thanks for getting my undies back. 1157 01:28:49,456 --> 01:28:52,152 Thanks for coming over. 1158 01:28:52,226 --> 01:28:54,160 Thanks for coming to get me. 1159 01:28:56,397 --> 01:28:58,558 Happy birthday, Samantha. 1160 01:29:00,434 --> 01:29:02,368 Make a wish. 1161 01:29:04,838 --> 01:29:06,772 It already came true. 1162 01:29:09,877 --> 01:29:11,845 ♪ If you were here ♪ 1163 01:29:11,912 --> 01:29:15,404 ♪ I could deceive you ♪ 1164 01:29:17,985 --> 01:29:20,112 ♪ If you were here ♪ 1165 01:29:20,187 --> 01:29:23,020 ♪ You would believe ♪ 1166 01:29:26,293 --> 01:29:27,351 ♪ But would you suspect ♪ 1167 01:29:28,729 --> 01:29:34,258 ♪ My emotion wandering Yeah ♪ 1168 01:29:34,335 --> 01:29:40,240 ♪ Do not want a part of this anymore ♪ 1169 01:29:43,210 --> 01:29:46,611 ♪ 1170 01:29:46,680 --> 01:29:51,344 ♪ Sixteen candles ♪ 1171 01:29:53,387 --> 01:29:57,881 ♪ Make a lovely, lovely light ♪ 1172 01:30:00,327 --> 01:30:04,195 ♪ But not as bright ♪ 1173 01:30:06,300 --> 01:30:12,637 ♪ As your eyes tonight ♪ 1174 01:30:12,706 --> 01:30:17,075 ♪ Blow out those candles ♪ 1175 01:30:19,179 --> 01:30:23,912 ♪ Make your wish come true ♪ 1176 01:30:26,653 --> 01:30:30,646 ♪ For I'll be wishing ♪ 1177 01:30:32,393 --> 01:30:36,386 ♪ That you loved me too ♪ 1178 01:30:39,166 --> 01:30:43,296 ♪ You're only 16 ♪ 1179 01:30:45,039 --> 01:30:49,499 ♪ But you're my teenage queen ♪ 1180 01:30:52,479 --> 01:30:58,941 ♪ You're the prettiest loveliest girl ♪ 1181 01:30:59,019 --> 01:31:02,352 ♪ I've ever seen ♪ 1182 01:31:04,758 --> 01:31:09,422 ♪ Sixteen candles ♪ 1183 01:31:11,265 --> 01:31:15,702 ♪ In my heart will glow ♪ 1184 01:31:18,672 --> 01:31:23,473 ♪ Forever and ever and evermore ♪ 1185 01:31:24,812 --> 01:31:29,215 ♪ For I love you so ♪ 1186 01:31:31,285 --> 01:31:33,219 ♪ Hey ♪ 1187 01:31:57,344 --> 01:32:04,375 ♪ Sixteen candles Yeah ♪ 1188 01:32:04,451 --> 01:32:09,115 ♪ In my heart In my heart will glow ♪ 1189 01:32:11,391 --> 01:32:15,725 ♪ Forever and ever and ever ♪ 1190 01:32:17,397 --> 01:32:21,231 ♪ For I love you so ♪ 1191 01:32:21,301 --> 01:32:31,108 ♪ Oh, I love you so ♪