1 00:00:43,129 --> 00:00:55,129 Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick 2 00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:58,000 Hey, babe. So happy to see you! 3 00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:01,200 Hi! I got your flowers. That was so sweet of you. 4 00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:02,930 Of course. Well, I know you're finishing 5 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:04,400 your Global Health paper today 6 00:01:04,570 --> 00:01:06,140 and you've been working really hard on it. 7 00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:10,160 Well, I'm almost done, so, maybe 8 00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:14,760 you want to come over and Netflix and chill and... 9 00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:16,210 What? 10 00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:19,160 You mean you want to fuck? 11 00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,200 I did not say that! 12 00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:22,400 Oh, my God! I know. 13 00:01:22,610 --> 00:01:24,090 No! I was being more subtle than that! 14 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:25,170 I know. I'm sorry. 15 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:27,520 Yes, I am so down for that. 16 00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:29,400 It's been like three fucking days. 17 00:01:29,570 --> 00:01:32,130 My balls are so blue right now, 18 00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:33,760 like dark blue, Uh-oh. 19 00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:34,910 Like almost black. 20 00:01:35,090 --> 00:01:37,040 No, I'm fucking serious. Here, check it out. 21 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:39,550 I believe you. I believe you. 22 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:40,730 Okay. 23 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,800 I'll see your almost-black balls later. 24 00:01:42,890 --> 00:01:43,890 Cool, Steph. 25 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:46,040 Come over any time after 6:00. Okay, hun? 26 00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,080 Okay. Dude, we are going to Netflix 27 00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:50,840 and chill this shit so hard. 28 00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:54,040 Peaky Blinders. Kimmy Schmidt! 29 00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:55,560 Movember's over. 30 00:01:55,930 --> 00:01:58,520 Time to shave the pornstache. 31 00:01:59,050 --> 00:02:01,480 Sorry. Making a Murderer! 32 00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:03,080 Narcos! 33 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:06,000 Stranger Things! 34 00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:08,520 Black balls! 35 00:02:24,490 --> 00:02:26,520 Anyways, Ned followed his dreams 36 00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:28,480 and turned a run-down old printing press 37 00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:29,920 into the industry powerhouse 38 00:02:30,090 --> 00:02:32,120 known today as the Fleming Company. 39 00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:33,940 Best boss in the world! 40 00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,000 The Fleming Company! 41 00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:37,360 We're talking 42 00:02:37,530 --> 00:02:39,520 brochures for Steelcase furniture, 43 00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:41,840 half the specialty jobs in Grand Rapids 44 00:02:41,930 --> 00:02:45,520 and who could forget the Domino's Pizza circular? 45 00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:49,800 But before all that... 46 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,120 Ned met a young Michigan Wolverine, Barbara Welsh. 47 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:55,000 How did this older guy get me? 48 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:58,680 Ned took her on their first date to see his favorite band... 49 00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,960 Kiss! Kiss! 50 00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:03,400 My favorite band, too! 51 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:04,790 Rock and roll! 52 00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:06,320 A few years later, 53 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,680 the stork brought my sister, Stephanie. 54 00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,160 Aw! 55 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,000 She's so cute. 56 00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,840 They weren't close at all. 57 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:17,360 Oh, dropping her off at school. Yeah. 58 00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:20,080 Then came me, Scotty F. 59 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:21,310 Did we have another child? 60 00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:23,420 I forgot about that second baby. Oh, we had another child. 61 00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:24,590 Anyways, Big Cheese. 62 00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:27,810 I'm sorry, guys. 63 00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:29,880 I promised myself I wasn't gonna do this. 64 00:03:29,970 --> 00:03:31,320 Aw... 65 00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:33,040 But I love you, Dad. Happy Birthday. 66 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,160 Way to go, Scotty! 67 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,760 I love you, too, buddy. 68 00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:37,170 Thank you. Wow! 69 00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:39,440 That was fantastic. 70 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,410 We've got one last surprise for you. 71 00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:42,890 That's right. Ladies and gentlemen, 72 00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:44,720 live from her dorm room at Stanford... 73 00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:46,720 it's my sister, Stephanie! 74 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,640 Hi, everyone! Hey, honey! 75 00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:53,560 Hey, Steph! Hey, it's Kevin! 76 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,320 Hi, Kevin! Kevin. 77 00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:57,280 Can we see? Sorry. 78 00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:59,160 Hi, Momma. Hi! 79 00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:00,360 Hi, Dad. 80 00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:01,720 The birthday boy. 81 00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:02,920 Hey, honey. 82 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,840 You guys look like you're having so much fun. 83 00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:06,480 And I wish I could be there with you. 84 00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:08,240 She's so sweet. 85 00:04:08,410 --> 00:04:09,720 Yeah. Get out. 86 00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:12,000 Yeah, I just wanted to say, Dad, that I love you. 87 00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:13,480 I love you, too, honey. 88 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:14,870 I love you more. No, you don't. 89 00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:16,210 Love you to the moon and back. 90 00:04:16,370 --> 00:04:18,040 I'll let you win this round. Okay, Pops? 91 00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:21,280 Even though you're now like... 92 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:23,640 ...ancient. 93 00:04:23,810 --> 00:04:25,120 You are still... 94 00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:26,370 What are you doing here? 95 00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:27,960 You asked me to come over. 96 00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:29,660 You're early. I said after 6:00. 97 00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:30,860 All right. Give me a sec, 98 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:31,980 - I'm on the phone. - Got it. 99 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,260 Sorry. It's just my friend. Anyway. 100 00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:36,640 Happy birthday to you 101 00:04:36,850 --> 00:04:38,800 Oh, my goodness. 102 00:04:38,970 --> 00:04:40,080 Oh, Laird, what are you... 103 00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:41,300 Go finish your call. 104 00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:43,290 I'm just getting ready to Netflix and chill, baby. 105 00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:44,810 No, not now, Laird. Oh, my goodness. 106 00:04:44,890 --> 00:04:45,890 Kimmy Schmidt! 107 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:47,140 Pull up your pants. Marco Polo. 108 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:48,880 Oh, my God! 109 00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:51,610 How do you make it stop? 110 00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:53,060 Whoa, whoa, Mom, you just took a screenshot. 111 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:55,440 Happy, happy birthday Happy, happy birthday 112 00:04:55,610 --> 00:04:56,660 Kevin, help her out. Kevin. 113 00:04:56,690 --> 00:04:58,760 Happy birthday, happy birthday 114 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,590 Mi oh my, it's a wonderful life 115 00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:18,480 It's a wonderful life with you by my side 116 00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:22,160 Mi oh my, it's a wonderful life 117 00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:26,960 It's a wonderful life with you by my side 118 00:05:27,090 --> 00:05:28,780 Hey, there he is. Happy birthday, Big Cheese. 119 00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:29,810 Thanks, Jim. 120 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,680 Jerry. Hey, Ned. 121 00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:33,900 Fun dinner last night. Hey, Jerry. 122 00:05:33,930 --> 00:05:34,930 Thanks. Lou. 123 00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:36,330 Hey, Cheese, can I have a minute? 124 00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:38,200 Sure. Good morning, Joyce. 125 00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:39,800 Great party. 126 00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:41,600 Hold all his calls. 127 00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:45,480 You gotta be kidding me. 128 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,400 Big Lots is bailing out on us? 129 00:05:47,570 --> 00:05:49,280 We've had that account since '06. 130 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,240 They're moving all their print work to China. 131 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:52,410 Oh, God. 132 00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:55,360 Cheese, we're already getting pummeled by Evite, Stamp-Free 133 00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:56,920 and the rest of those dot-coms. 134 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,600 And at this rate, we'll be Chapter 11 by March. 135 00:05:59,770 --> 00:06:01,050 What about Dick's Sporting Goods? 136 00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:04,080 Well, I mean, I'm still trading calls with my guy. 137 00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:06,200 But, Ned, can I be honest with you? 138 00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:07,970 I can't keep this from Patty much longer. 139 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,840 Lou, haven't I kept us going? 140 00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:13,760 Yeah. I mean, it's what you do. 141 00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:16,520 I just need a little more time. That's all. 142 00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:18,680 You are the maestro. 143 00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:21,040 Maybe you'll pull off a Christmas miracle. 144 00:06:21,210 --> 00:06:23,510 Yeah. Yeah. 145 00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,880 By the way, good job keeping that game face last night. 146 00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:26,970 Oh. Thanks. 147 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:28,360 That was some shindig, man. 148 00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:29,450 Yeah, it was fun. 149 00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:31,120 Well, till the kid had his farter 150 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:32,640 all over the screen in 3-D. 151 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:33,950 I was like, "Whoa! 152 00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:35,450 "That's a lot, man." 153 00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:36,610 And get this... 154 00:06:36,770 --> 00:06:38,320 Stephanie now wants us to fly out... 155 00:06:38,490 --> 00:06:41,120 to meet the man behind the crack over the holidays. 156 00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:42,730 With everything that's going on here, 157 00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:44,060 that's the last thing I want to do. 158 00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:45,400 Well, hold on now. 159 00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:47,120 This is the first serious boyfriend? 160 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,360 Yeah. Apparently. 161 00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:52,600 I mean, it's so strange. 162 00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:56,000 I mean, Stephanie and I have always been so close. 163 00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:58,880 And yet she has never even mentioned this guy. 164 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:00,320 That's the way it goes, Cheese. 165 00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:02,880 I thought I knew everything about Lou Junior, 166 00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:04,250 when he was down at Ohio State. 167 00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:05,750 Out of nowhere, 168 00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:07,720 he comes dragging home this Buckeye 169 00:07:07,890 --> 00:07:10,720 that he's been dating for over a year. 170 00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:12,280 No. Yeah. 171 00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:15,120 Nice girl, but still. She's so controlling. 172 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,280 I'm sorry. I don't mean it like that 173 00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:18,840 because I don't know her that well. 174 00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:20,240 But I don't like her. 175 00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:21,630 I don't. Lou. 176 00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:23,320 It's just what happens, you know? 177 00:07:23,490 --> 00:07:25,440 Lou, what is the point of all this? 178 00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:27,160 Go out there and meet him. 179 00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:29,240 I know we going through a lot right now 180 00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:32,800 but hell, Lou Junior is talking about getting married in May. 181 00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:33,890 Married. 182 00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:36,040 Once they're not under your roof, 183 00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:38,160 there's no telling what they're into. 184 00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:39,760 Oh, uh, that reminds me. 185 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,300 He does want you to speak at the wedding 186 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,630 and say some kind words. Oh. 187 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,160 I told him that I would talk to you about it. 188 00:07:46,370 --> 00:07:48,930 And they'd like to get married at your house in the backyard. 189 00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:51,000 Well... But anyway... 190 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:55,280 I'm just saying you might want to get out there and meet this kid. 191 00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:56,670 Because, I mean, you saw it. 192 00:07:56,850 --> 00:07:59,120 You saw it, he's a free spirit. 193 00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:00,850 You mean... 194 00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,560 You heard him come into the room. 195 00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:04,480 He came in there guns blazing. 196 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,720 He had that revved up energy where he was like... 197 00:08:07,930 --> 00:08:09,040 bow-bow-bow-bow. 198 00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:11,360 He just wants to go and go and go... 199 00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:13,680 and just morning, noon and night, 200 00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,160 and "Stephanie, here I am. 201 00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:17,890 "Stephanie, here I come. I'm coming again." 202 00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:19,640 I remember being that age, don't you? 203 00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:21,120 Just always ready. 204 00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:30,980 Come on, it's lovely weather 205 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,200 For a sleigh ride together with you 206 00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:35,280 Thanks for coming. 207 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,680 Oh, gosh, it is so gorgeous here. 208 00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:43,000 I'm very excited that you guys are all out here. 209 00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:44,170 We're very excited. 210 00:08:44,330 --> 00:08:46,060 There's a few things that I wanna tell you about Laird 211 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:49,000 that I didn't feel like getting into over the phone because... 212 00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:50,310 Watch, honey... 213 00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:51,910 You missed our exit. 214 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:53,460 Actually, I missed it on purpose. 215 00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:54,920 Laird and I thought, 216 00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:57,640 it'd be better if we all stayed at his house. 217 00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:58,760 His house? 218 00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:00,690 When did this come up? Did you know about this? 219 00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:04,040 Are you sure his parents have enough room? 220 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,580 I mean, he doesn't live with his parents. 221 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,990 Honey, we're not gonna be comfortable at some crash pad. 222 00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:10,550 He lives by himself. It's not a crash pad, 223 00:09:10,730 --> 00:09:12,280 but it's much nicer than the Sheraton. 224 00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:13,880 Nicer than the club floor? 225 00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:15,360 I smooth-talked the manager. 226 00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:17,480 We got a suite at the regular rate. 227 00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:19,600 What? That's what I'm talking about, Big Cheese. 228 00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:21,400 That is impressive. We have to turn back. 229 00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:23,160 Free continental breakfast. Yes. 230 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,700 Mint on the pillow, turndown service, 231 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,020 all things available at the Sheraton. 232 00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:27,500 I mean, is your lover going to have that? 233 00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:29,760 Your lover? Your lover? 234 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,920 We already all know that you've seen his penis. 235 00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:33,070 What? Scott! 236 00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:34,170 What? 237 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:41,440 Sleigh bells ring Are you listening 238 00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:42,910 Well, this is cute. 239 00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:44,840 Actually, this is the gatehouse. 240 00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:46,560 Gatehouse? 241 00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:49,880 A beautiful sight We're happy tonight 242 00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:50,970 What the heck? 243 00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:53,280 Is that a facial recognition scanner? 244 00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,520 Mmm-hmm. 245 00:09:55,610 --> 00:09:56,800 That's so cool. 246 00:09:57,090 --> 00:10:02,400 Gone away is the bluebird Here to stay is the new bird 247 00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:04,120 The hedge is moving. 248 00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:08,080 He sings a love song As we go along 249 00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,680 Walking in a winter wonderland 250 00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:13,880 Honey, who exactly are you dating? 251 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,940 Laird started this company called Guerrilla Gang. 252 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,360 You play Ape Assassins, right? 253 00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:18,720 Are you kidding me? 254 00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:20,220 Yeah, that was my jam in the eighth grade. 255 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,250 Great, that's him. 256 00:10:21,410 --> 00:10:23,440 So, he makes video games? 257 00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,250 - Apps, Dad. - This is it! 258 00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:26,760 This is his house? Mmm-hmm. 259 00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:29,280 Are you sure this isn't an Apple Store or something? 260 00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:30,730 Oh, my God. 261 00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:32,200 What is up, you gang? 262 00:10:32,410 --> 00:10:33,600 I know! 263 00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:35,720 The Flemings are here. You have arrived! 264 00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:37,680 Hi, buddy. Hi. 265 00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:39,400 Hello, sweetheart. 266 00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:42,510 Don't touch anything. How was traffic? 267 00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:43,660 It was okay. Hi, they're here! 268 00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:44,690 Hello. 269 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,120 Hello to you, Ned Fleming. 270 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,730 Barbara. Yes. 271 00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:51,080 You are perfect. 272 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,240 Well, thank you. Oh, my God. 273 00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:55,090 And this must be the main man. Scotty, huh? 274 00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:57,120 Yup. All right. Hey. 275 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,000 - Who are you? - Gustav. 276 00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:00,520 I am Gustav. Yes. 277 00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:03,040 I never know how to describe you. 278 00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:06,280 Um, well, estate manager is cool, Stephy, yes. 279 00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:07,480 That works. 280 00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:09,840 I used to run the Four Seasons group in Asia 281 00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:11,440 but after some point, you know, 282 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,300 the corporate life becomes a bit of a snooze-fest. 283 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:15,120 You know, "Tiffany's this, Cartier that." 284 00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:17,680 But, you know. Just dot, dot, dot. Enough already. 285 00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,440 You know what I'm talking about, Ned. 286 00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:20,810 Oh, yeah. Sure. 287 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,930 Boring. 288 00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:23,640 Where's Laird? Laird is upstairs. 289 00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:25,560 He is just finishing a teleconference. 290 00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:26,690 He'll be right out. 291 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,240 Oh, okay. Why don't we go up then? 292 00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:29,330 Laird, I'm Ned. 293 00:11:29,410 --> 00:11:30,410 No, no, no. 294 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:31,540 No, this is Randy. That's not Laird. 295 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:32,570 He's our intern. 296 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:36,000 Just graduated summa cum laude at MIT. 297 00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:37,960 So Randy, shake a leg. Get their luggages. 298 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,270 Yes, sir. 299 00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:43,040 The motherfucking Flemings are in the house! 300 00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:44,130 Yes! 301 00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:47,000 This is fucking awesome! 302 00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:49,080 Get up here. I'm so psyched to meet you. 303 00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:52,250 Family, baby. Fuck yeah! 304 00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:54,960 Oh, my God. 305 00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,480 Scotty. 306 00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:59,720 Yes, my brotha! Welcome. 307 00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:01,110 Hey, Barb. Hi. 308 00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:03,830 Oh. 309 00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:05,930 Welcome. 310 00:12:06,130 --> 00:12:08,040 Hey, Ned. All right. 311 00:12:08,130 --> 00:12:09,560 Oh, yes. 312 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,000 Yes. Yes. 313 00:12:12,170 --> 00:12:13,440 Yes. So glad you're here. 314 00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:14,800 Yes. Hey. Hi. 315 00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,040 Hey, baby. Hi. 316 00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:18,870 I fucking missed you. 317 00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:21,160 Why aren't you wearing a shirt on your body? 318 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,250 Oh. 319 00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:24,490 Don't worry about that. I have a little surprise. 320 00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:27,240 Let's stay half an hour and then we go back to the hotel. 321 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:29,000 That's a good plan. Thank you. 322 00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:30,520 Dad, come on. This place is so sick. 323 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,440 Yeah, it's sick. 25 minutes. 324 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:33,530 That's it. 325 00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:40,110 Hey! Just leave her alone. 326 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,680 Hey, oh, Ned. Ned. 327 00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:44,280 Ned, would you look at that. 328 00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:45,800 That's your face, Sis. Oh. 329 00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,160 Very good likeness. 330 00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:48,350 Oh, thanks. Yeah. 331 00:12:48,450 --> 00:12:51,160 The Stephy tattoo. I got it, like, a week after we met, right? 332 00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:52,880 One week. You know, right on my heart. 333 00:12:53,090 --> 00:12:55,280 Great. Okay, do you guys want to go see the house? 334 00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:56,490 Uh... We probably should... 335 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,640 We came to stop and say hey. Yeah. We should go. 336 00:12:58,850 --> 00:12:59,850 Actually, no. 337 00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:02,570 No. Before we go, um... 338 00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:04,360 I have a little surprise for everybody. 339 00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:06,680 Shit. I'm fucking nervous. 340 00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,060 Do you want to consult me about it? 341 00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,220 You want to talk to me before you... 342 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:11,240 You know what? No, I'm just jumpin' in. All right? 343 00:13:11,410 --> 00:13:12,450 I'm just going to do this. 344 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,280 Laird, it's going to be fucking great. 345 00:13:14,490 --> 00:13:16,040 Ta-da! 346 00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:17,790 Oh, my God. 347 00:13:18,570 --> 00:13:20,200 I just got it done this morning 348 00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:21,920 Yeah. I bet it's red, huh? 349 00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:23,150 I need a little feedback. 350 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,400 Is that our Christmas card? Yes. 351 00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:28,240 Yeah! That's exactly what I used. How'd you know? 352 00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,580 Look, he even got Noodle in there. 353 00:13:29,610 --> 00:13:30,750 Hurt like balls. 354 00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:34,360 Gosh, it says "Happy Holidays" and everything. 355 00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:35,590 What? 356 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,640 Get the fuck out of here. Okay. 357 00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:39,080 It says "Happy Holidays?" 358 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,250 Barb, fuck you. 359 00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:41,600 God damn. 360 00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:43,480 I gave the guy the Christmas card. 361 00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,100 I didn't know he put "Happy Holidays" on there. 362 00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:46,480 Wow. Fuck. 363 00:13:46,690 --> 00:13:48,440 Guess it's stuck on there, huh? 364 00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:49,870 Oops. Fuck. 365 00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:51,960 Well, you know, you guys were coming over... 366 00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:54,880 I was so excited, I just had to do something, you know? 367 00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:57,640 Well, that is something, all right. 368 00:13:57,810 --> 00:14:00,520 You know what? Sometimes, you just got to say, "Fuck it." 369 00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:01,650 Fuck it! 370 00:14:01,730 --> 00:14:02,790 You should... Laird, 371 00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:04,880 this is a 15-year-old child. 372 00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:06,480 So, we don't really... 373 00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,200 Oh, shit. 374 00:14:08,370 --> 00:14:10,560 - You don't say fuck? - No, Mom, I... 375 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:11,730 Heck yeah, I cuss. 376 00:14:11,890 --> 00:14:12,920 No, you don't. 377 00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:14,130 You do? Yeah. 378 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:15,640 Oh, he cusses. No, you don't. 379 00:14:15,770 --> 00:14:17,060 Yeah, bro, what's your favorite cuss word? 380 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,090 Oh, boy. 381 00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:19,250 Don't egg him on like that. 382 00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:20,360 What's your favorite? 383 00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:23,040 - Uh... - Hmm. 384 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,310 Titties. 385 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:26,800 Titties? Titties. 386 00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:28,210 Stop it. Stop that. 387 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,680 Titties? Classic. 388 00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,840 Okay. We should be going. 389 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,520 Nice one. What else you got? Asshole. 390 00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:35,180 Asshole. All right. That's enough. 391 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:36,340 Okay. Another good body part. 392 00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:37,800 What else? Dicking. Double dicking. 393 00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:39,440 Double dicking. Okay. 394 00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:40,800 Wait. Hold on. Double dicking? 395 00:14:40,970 --> 00:14:42,620 Are you happy? That's a new one on me, bro. 396 00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:43,650 What the fuck is that? 397 00:14:43,770 --> 00:14:46,000 What the hell is that? Is that like dick to dick? 398 00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:49,440 Okay! Good night! We're going to the hotel. 399 00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:52,720 This kid is nasty and I fucking like it. 400 00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:54,200 Yeah. Yes! 401 00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:55,800 All right, let's do the tour. 402 00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:57,180 I'll show you around! All right? 403 00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:58,430 Just throw your shit anywhere. 404 00:14:58,610 --> 00:14:59,930 You little double-dicker, come on. 405 00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:01,010 Throw your stuff anywhere. 406 00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:02,280 By the way, I'm a huge fan. 407 00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:03,680 I'm part of the online Ape Army. 408 00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:04,810 Awesome. 409 00:15:04,890 --> 00:15:07,410 You know, this is what I was trying to tell you guys in the car. 410 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:09,080 This is okay here? 411 00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:11,320 Do you want to take your coat off? 412 00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:13,080 Uh, no. Nope. I'm fine. 413 00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:14,560 Come on, guys. 414 00:15:15,530 --> 00:15:16,700 All right, so this here's the kitch. 415 00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:18,240 This is where we keep the food. 416 00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:19,440 The dining room. 417 00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:22,240 That's a sculpture of a couple people fucking. 418 00:15:22,690 --> 00:15:24,680 Painting of a fat squirrel. 419 00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,520 And this one's called "Triple Team," 420 00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:27,960 self-explanatory. 421 00:15:28,850 --> 00:15:30,400 All right. This is the den. 422 00:15:30,570 --> 00:15:33,400 These dudes are just testing out video games. 423 00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:37,360 Ned, Stephy says that you're pretty serious about your bowling, 424 00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:40,320 so I had a couple lanes installed. 425 00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:42,160 Oh, my God. 426 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,340 None of this was here? 427 00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:44,370 No. 428 00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:47,480 You said you were fixing a crack in the foundation. 429 00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:49,240 Is that us? 430 00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:51,840 Yeah, I got the images off your league's Facebook page. 431 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,150 That's so insane. 432 00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:55,790 Dad, look, he even got in your signature "crotch chop." 433 00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:57,790 Oh, yeah. 434 00:15:58,010 --> 00:15:59,010 Wow. 435 00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:01,300 All right, this here is where we develop a few apps 436 00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:03,200 for the Apple and Android platforms. 437 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:05,120 Hey, gang, say hi to the Flemings. 438 00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:06,390 Hey, guys. Hey, what's up? 439 00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:09,360 Wait, I don't understand. Do your employees live here? 440 00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:12,320 Uh, maybe some of them do. I don't really know. 441 00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:15,520 Gustav is actually an amazing architect. 442 00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:17,240 We designed this place together. 443 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,360 When did you go to Machu Picchu? 444 00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:21,440 Hun, when did you put these up? 445 00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:23,320 What the heck is that moose? 446 00:16:23,490 --> 00:16:24,630 That's a Phillip Manfredi. 447 00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:26,030 Great pick-up, Barb. 448 00:16:26,210 --> 00:16:29,240 Stephy told me that you're this amazing art and photography professor. 449 00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:31,000 - That's awesome. - Mmm-hmm. 450 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:34,400 I teach a couple of classes at a local community college. 451 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:36,040 Don't be so modest, Mom. 452 00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:38,080 You're an amazing photographer. 453 00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:40,240 Oh, that looks like a real dead moose. 454 00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:43,760 Well, that's exactly what it is, Ned. 455 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:46,640 A dead moose suspended in its own urine. 456 00:16:46,810 --> 00:16:48,440 It's meant to symbolize the way 457 00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:50,800 that our culture has imprisoned our minds. 458 00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:53,050 Oh. 459 00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:54,560 I got to tell you, Ned, 460 00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:56,950 great art really gets me aroused. 461 00:16:57,130 --> 00:16:59,690 It's actually a very strong aphrodisiac. 462 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:00,800 Laird. 463 00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:03,500 Not that you need any help getting turned on by that gorgeous woman. 464 00:17:03,530 --> 00:17:04,590 Honey. 465 00:17:04,770 --> 00:17:06,400 What? Your mom is beautiful. 466 00:17:06,530 --> 00:17:08,440 She is. She deserves some props for that. 467 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,600 Well, I'll take a compliment wherever I can get one. 468 00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:14,040 Well, here's another one. You got a bangin' bod, too. 469 00:17:14,130 --> 00:17:15,160 All right. 470 00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:16,520 Hey, what's going on, everyone? 471 00:17:16,730 --> 00:17:18,280 Richard Blais, everybody. 472 00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:21,960 This is the maestro of molecular gastronomy. 473 00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:23,640 Oh, my God. 474 00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:25,960 That's that cute one from Top Chef. 475 00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:27,760 Oh, he's the one who goes, "Bam!" 476 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:31,200 No, that's Emeril. He's a fucking dick, that guy. 477 00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:32,630 Dickie Blais what's up? 478 00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:36,400 Yeah, so Laird thought it would be a fun idea to do a pop-up restaurant 479 00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:37,650 just in your honor tonight. 480 00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:39,280 Did he? Yeah. 481 00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:41,160 And I have here a little amuse-bouche. 482 00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:43,260 So if anyone's looking for a little pre-dinner snack, 483 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:44,350 you can head on up here. 484 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,200 Count me in, 'cause I'm famished. 485 00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:47,290 All right. 486 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:48,490 There are so many surprises. 487 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:50,610 I know. 488 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:51,980 You're hungry, you've come to the right place. 489 00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:53,480 I've got surf and turf for you. 490 00:17:53,650 --> 00:17:54,760 Steak and lobster. 491 00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:56,040 Yum, yum. 492 00:17:57,010 --> 00:18:01,080 My version of surf and turf, edible soil and plankton foam. 493 00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:02,720 Dig in. Oh. 494 00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:05,150 Wow, can't wait for dinner. 495 00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:06,330 No. 496 00:18:07,090 --> 00:18:09,650 Hey, so I think it's going great, right? 497 00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:11,680 I think they've already accepted me. 498 00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:14,280 I'm getting a little bit of a different vibe. 499 00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:15,880 Oh, really? Like what? 500 00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:17,360 Don't try so hard. 501 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,800 I'm not, what do you mean? 502 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:20,880 You put in a bowling alley for my dad 503 00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,920 and you got a tattoo of my entire family on your back. 504 00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:25,360 Oh. 505 00:18:25,490 --> 00:18:26,490 Was the tattoo too much? 506 00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:27,680 Yes. Fuck. 507 00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:30,400 Shit, I knew it. 508 00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:32,040 Yeah, Gustav said the same thing. 509 00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:33,270 Okay, don't worry... 510 00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:36,360 I won't get any more tattoos of them while they're here. 511 00:18:36,530 --> 00:18:37,590 Thank you. Okay. 512 00:18:37,810 --> 00:18:38,840 I love you. 513 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:41,240 I love you, too. 514 00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:45,330 Okay. 515 00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:48,420 Oh, one more thing, stop calling them motherfuckers 516 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:50,080 and talking about how hot my mom is. 517 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:52,960 Well, she's sneaky sexy, took me by surprise. 518 00:18:53,130 --> 00:18:57,040 Dude, she is a MILF, like a genuine MILF. 519 00:18:57,250 --> 00:19:00,360 And if it wasn't your MILF, she'd be a MIWF... 520 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,040 a mother I would fuck. 521 00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:03,240 Mmm-mmm. 522 00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:04,960 But I won't. Okay. 523 00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:07,840 Of course. Thank you. 524 00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:14,600 All right, it's pretty. Yeah. 525 00:19:14,810 --> 00:19:15,810 You know... 526 00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:19,610 It's a lot. 527 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,440 Yes! I mean, the moose... Yes. 528 00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:24,280 And the language. Come on! 529 00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:26,000 Mmm-hmm. A real moose! 530 00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:28,200 And he's coming onto your mother. That's not okay. 531 00:19:28,290 --> 00:19:29,560 And the tattoo? 532 00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:31,920 The tattoo! And how... 533 00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:33,720 32 Oh, my. And you're... 534 00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:35,030 22. Yes! 535 00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:37,280 You didn't like the mural of you and Scotty 536 00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:38,570 down in the new bowling alley? 537 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:40,720 The bowling alley with the mural is... 538 00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:42,400 And the bowling alley is regulation. 539 00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:44,080 That's quite nice 540 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:47,160 and that's very rare to have something that nice. 541 00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:48,660 And the polish that he used was quite... 542 00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:49,690 It was good. But... 543 00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:50,910 I'm sorry. 544 00:19:54,450 --> 00:19:55,450 I should have told you. 545 00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:58,920 About everything, of course. 546 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:02,520 Honestly, I didn't know how to explain him over the phone. 547 00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:04,400 I just kept imagining... 548 00:20:04,610 --> 00:20:06,120 Mom Googling Laird Mayhew 549 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,590 and you guys jumping to conclusions 550 00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:10,990 before you even got a chance to know him. 551 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,560 Well, now we know him. 552 00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:15,680 No, you don't. 553 00:20:15,770 --> 00:20:17,400 You've been here for 15 minutes. 554 00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:19,530 Yeah. 555 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:21,520 Thank you. 556 00:20:23,370 --> 00:20:24,860 I wouldn't have asked you to come out here 557 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,090 and miss Christmas in Michigan 558 00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:29,520 for the first time ever, if he wasn't... 559 00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:31,000 ...really important to me. 560 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,630 Hmm. 561 00:20:40,290 --> 00:20:41,290 Okay. 562 00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:45,120 You'll give him a chance? 563 00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:47,640 Okay. Okay, thank you. Thank you. 564 00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:49,840 Come here. 565 00:20:54,450 --> 00:20:55,450 I love you. 566 00:20:55,610 --> 00:20:57,000 I love you, too. 567 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:03,360 So if I did Google him, what would I find? 568 00:21:03,450 --> 00:21:04,450 Don't do it. 569 00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:05,570 Oh. 570 00:21:05,650 --> 00:21:06,680 Just don't Google him. 571 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:07,850 Oh. 572 00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:11,280 Well, I still don't see it. 573 00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:15,320 Darling, this is the male, and he's thrusting. 574 00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:16,490 Oh, God. 575 00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:19,280 All right, everybody, dinner is served! 576 00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:21,480 Scotty! Come on, grab a stump. 577 00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:23,840 Dad, you wanna go there? Mom. 578 00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:25,620 You sure you don't want to take off your coat? 579 00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:26,650 No. I'm good. 580 00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:28,960 We do it family style here, so everyone just dig in. 581 00:21:29,130 --> 00:21:30,440 It's super cas. 582 00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:32,840 Okay, so we have three dishes for this evening. 583 00:21:33,010 --> 00:21:34,960 We have sous-vide geoduck. 584 00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:36,920 We have Mission-style sea urchin burritos... 585 00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:38,010 Yum. 586 00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:39,360 ...with edible paper. 587 00:21:39,810 --> 00:21:41,360 Because you're a printer. 588 00:21:41,530 --> 00:21:43,000 And last but not least... Sweet. 589 00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:45,800 ...we have smoked California bear. 590 00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:46,970 Enjoy. 591 00:21:47,010 --> 00:21:48,360 Oh, shit! 592 00:21:48,530 --> 00:21:49,670 Thanks, Blais. 593 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,160 - Bear? - Mmm. 594 00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:52,610 Yo, Scotty, you see The Revenant? 595 00:21:52,690 --> 00:21:53,960 No, I wanted to, 596 00:21:54,050 --> 00:21:56,180 but my parents don't really let me watch R-rated movies. 597 00:21:56,210 --> 00:21:57,850 You're darn right we don't. He's only 15. 598 00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,200 You want some paper? Yes, certainly. Thank you. 599 00:22:00,370 --> 00:22:01,840 I don't know what section that is. 600 00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:04,120 Because that bear fucked that dude up! 601 00:22:04,210 --> 00:22:05,560 Now we're gonna fuck this bear up. 602 00:22:05,770 --> 00:22:07,200 Hey, what about that language? 603 00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:08,370 Oh, shit. Sorry. 604 00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:11,000 Ah, I think I've got the arts section here. 605 00:22:12,570 --> 00:22:14,240 You better slow down, Barb. 606 00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:16,410 You're gonna be full before you get to the funnies. 607 00:22:18,410 --> 00:22:19,440 Ned. 608 00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:28,040 So, um, how did you two meet? 609 00:22:28,410 --> 00:22:30,710 Uh, you want me to go? Yeah. 610 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:31,850 Okay. 611 00:22:31,890 --> 00:22:34,160 Laird sponsored a talk on campus 612 00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,560 with Doctor Joanne Liu, 613 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:37,130 the head of Doctors Without Borders. 614 00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:38,250 Oh! 615 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:40,320 Melinda Gates got me totally pumped 616 00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:41,850 about issues in the developing world. 617 00:22:41,930 --> 00:22:42,930 Now I'm obsessed. 618 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:44,280 Wow. 619 00:22:45,090 --> 00:22:46,760 - That's Bill Gates' wife. - Yeah. 620 00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:48,240 - She's great. - Yeah. 621 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,720 That's terrific. 622 00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:52,450 That's Steph's field of interest, too, so that's great. 623 00:22:52,650 --> 00:22:53,710 Yeah, I know. 624 00:22:53,810 --> 00:22:55,370 Ned, you should've seen her at the talk. 625 00:22:55,450 --> 00:22:58,720 She asked the most intelligent question. I was blown away. 626 00:22:59,610 --> 00:23:00,920 Really? What did I say? 627 00:23:01,090 --> 00:23:02,200 You were like... 628 00:23:02,410 --> 00:23:03,580 "Hey, what's the connection between 629 00:23:03,610 --> 00:23:05,880 "women's health and population density 630 00:23:06,090 --> 00:23:07,560 "in indigenous communities?" 631 00:23:07,730 --> 00:23:09,960 I was like, "Bam! Who's that?" 632 00:23:10,170 --> 00:23:11,760 That's so sweet of you to remember that. 633 00:23:11,930 --> 00:23:13,760 Of course I remember. Mmm... 634 00:23:13,930 --> 00:23:15,810 - The first time I saw you. - That's our girl. 635 00:23:15,890 --> 00:23:17,740 She's always been the smartest person in the room. 636 00:23:17,770 --> 00:23:18,770 So true. Yeah. 637 00:23:18,890 --> 00:23:20,960 And the sexiest. My God. Well. 638 00:23:21,130 --> 00:23:23,160 I couldn't keep my eyes off her. 639 00:23:23,330 --> 00:23:24,640 Her hair, and her eyes. 640 00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:25,760 Very pretty eyes. 641 00:23:25,930 --> 00:23:27,480 The way her spine gently arches 642 00:23:27,570 --> 00:23:29,120 to meet the top of her tailbone. 643 00:23:29,290 --> 00:23:31,780 I just wanna pitch a tent and live in there. You know what I mean? 644 00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:32,930 No. You're taking it too far. 645 00:23:33,450 --> 00:23:35,080 Quite the outdoorsman. 646 00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:36,840 I just mean she's got a great body. 647 00:23:37,010 --> 00:23:38,520 Oh, well, yes. Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 648 00:23:38,690 --> 00:23:39,960 She's a darling girl. 649 00:23:40,130 --> 00:23:41,260 - Like you, Barb. - Great genes. 650 00:23:41,290 --> 00:23:42,290 Okay. 651 00:23:42,330 --> 00:23:43,520 Two fit women. 652 00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:45,320 I'll have to agree with you there. 653 00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:47,280 Ol' Slamming Bod Barb. 654 00:23:48,610 --> 00:23:50,680 Two fit women and two lucky dudes... 655 00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:52,470 And one double-dicker. 656 00:23:54,970 --> 00:23:56,800 Okay, well. 657 00:23:58,210 --> 00:24:01,160 Laird, when did you graduate from Stanford? 658 00:24:01,490 --> 00:24:03,160 Oh, I didn't go to Stanford, bro. 659 00:24:03,290 --> 00:24:04,890 I hardly even graduated from high school. 660 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:06,830 He's being modest. 661 00:24:07,010 --> 00:24:08,140 He actually started writing code 662 00:24:08,170 --> 00:24:10,520 for Sun Microsystems when he was 13. 663 00:24:10,730 --> 00:24:12,280 That's true. Wow, that's just like me. 664 00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:14,090 I've been interning at the Fleming Company 665 00:24:14,170 --> 00:24:15,480 since, what, the seventh grade? 666 00:24:15,690 --> 00:24:16,830 Mm-hmm. Yup. 667 00:24:17,010 --> 00:24:18,960 Future CEO, but you are going to college. 668 00:24:19,650 --> 00:24:21,620 I know, Dad. I know. I know. Just like your sister. 669 00:24:21,650 --> 00:24:23,640 So, Steph, weren't your surprised 670 00:24:23,810 --> 00:24:26,640 that this big tech mogul wanted to date you? 671 00:24:28,530 --> 00:24:31,120 He said he was some low-level programmer at Uber. 672 00:24:31,330 --> 00:24:33,630 I had no idea that he sponsored the entire event. 673 00:24:33,810 --> 00:24:34,840 So he lied to you. 674 00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:36,320 Oh, Ned, I had to. 675 00:24:36,490 --> 00:24:38,840 I mean there are so many gold diggers in Silicon Valley. 676 00:24:39,050 --> 00:24:41,350 They just wanna fuck you for your tech money. 677 00:24:41,530 --> 00:24:43,200 Language, baby. You gotta be careful. 678 00:24:43,370 --> 00:24:45,360 I didn't spill the beans till April. 679 00:24:45,530 --> 00:24:48,480 April? That's eight months ago. What? 680 00:24:48,650 --> 00:24:50,000 Steph, over the phone, you said 681 00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:51,820 you've only known each other for a couple of months. 682 00:24:51,850 --> 00:24:53,880 It was super casual at first. No. 683 00:24:54,050 --> 00:24:55,080 No, it was not. 684 00:24:55,250 --> 00:24:57,400 We exchanged I love you's on the third date. 685 00:24:57,570 --> 00:24:58,980 Remember? Right after we... The third date? 686 00:24:59,010 --> 00:25:00,180 made love in the hot tub at Esalen in Big Sur? 687 00:25:00,210 --> 00:25:01,210 No, no, no. 688 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:03,200 Where, what? Esalen in Big Sur. 689 00:25:03,370 --> 00:25:04,400 Really? 690 00:25:04,530 --> 00:25:06,560 Ned. Don't get the wrong idea. 691 00:25:06,730 --> 00:25:09,560 It was not sexual at all. It was so much more than that. 692 00:25:09,730 --> 00:25:10,890 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm confused. 693 00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:12,360 Did you have intercourse or not? 694 00:25:12,530 --> 00:25:13,750 Scotty, shut it. 695 00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:15,340 Dad, I'm just trying to connect the dots here. 696 00:25:15,370 --> 00:25:16,760 Look. Yeah, we did. 697 00:25:16,930 --> 00:25:20,520 But what I'm saying is I was transformed. 698 00:25:20,690 --> 00:25:23,720 Stephy opened up like a flower. 699 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:25,280 You should have seen it. 700 00:25:25,450 --> 00:25:28,400 I shouldn't have seen it, but now I feel like I have. 701 00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:29,960 I just want your parents to know 702 00:25:30,130 --> 00:25:31,330 that you're living with someone 703 00:25:31,370 --> 00:25:33,120 who's completely devoted to you. 704 00:25:33,970 --> 00:25:35,560 Wait a minute. What-ing with someone? 705 00:25:35,730 --> 00:25:37,760 You say you're living together? Yeah. 706 00:25:37,890 --> 00:25:40,400 No. We do not. 707 00:25:40,610 --> 00:25:42,600 Okay, five nights out of seven. 708 00:25:43,730 --> 00:25:45,480 Your stuff is here. 709 00:25:45,650 --> 00:25:46,970 You don't really stay at the dorm. 710 00:25:48,410 --> 00:25:49,570 Do you have a toothbrush here? 711 00:25:49,730 --> 00:25:50,730 Yeah. That's cohabitating. 712 00:25:50,890 --> 00:25:52,760 Scotty, stop talking and eat your paper. 713 00:25:52,930 --> 00:25:54,640 Dad, we do not live together. 714 00:25:54,810 --> 00:25:56,280 Yeah, we're cohabitating. 715 00:26:01,490 --> 00:26:03,600 "Opened up like a flower." 716 00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:06,600 Honey, I'm looking at the Esalen website right now 717 00:26:06,770 --> 00:26:08,280 and there's nothing dirty about it. 718 00:26:08,450 --> 00:26:11,120 You go up there for yoga classes and things like that. 719 00:26:11,290 --> 00:26:13,960 They've been practically living together for a year. 720 00:26:14,130 --> 00:26:15,600 Why didn't she just tell us that? 721 00:26:16,290 --> 00:26:18,160 Where the heck are the towels? 722 00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:20,840 He's even affected Scotty. 723 00:26:22,930 --> 00:26:25,960 What is a double dicking, for crying out loud? 724 00:26:27,490 --> 00:26:28,520 Oh. Uh... 725 00:26:28,650 --> 00:26:29,650 There she is. 726 00:26:29,810 --> 00:26:31,240 Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. She's gonna... 727 00:26:31,450 --> 00:26:33,410 She better explain what the heck is going on here. 728 00:26:33,490 --> 00:26:34,490 All right, so be nice. 729 00:26:34,650 --> 00:26:36,940 Be like, "Oh, my God. I love your boyfriend. He's so normal." 730 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,160 I'm good. 731 00:26:39,170 --> 00:26:40,280 Hi. 732 00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:42,360 Hi, uh... 733 00:26:44,690 --> 00:26:46,280 I thought you'd be Stephanie. 734 00:26:46,450 --> 00:26:47,480 Steph's super pooped. 735 00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:50,640 We had a big fight because of the way I behaved at dinner. 736 00:26:50,810 --> 00:26:53,050 Don't worry, we took a shower together and worked it out. 737 00:26:53,690 --> 00:26:55,990 But I snuck out to have a little check in. 738 00:26:56,170 --> 00:26:57,170 Okay. Well... 739 00:27:05,690 --> 00:27:07,960 Ned, would you come join us? 740 00:27:08,850 --> 00:27:10,320 I'm good here. 741 00:27:10,530 --> 00:27:12,830 Oh, please. This is an Alaskan king. 742 00:27:13,010 --> 00:27:14,520 There's so much room. 743 00:27:16,050 --> 00:27:17,480 So much room. 744 00:27:18,210 --> 00:27:20,200 It'd really mean a lot to me. Please? 745 00:27:21,850 --> 00:27:22,990 Okay. 746 00:27:23,730 --> 00:27:24,730 Hey. 747 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:34,030 I owe you two an apology. 748 00:27:34,210 --> 00:27:35,210 When I get nervous 749 00:27:35,370 --> 00:27:38,000 all kinds of crap comes flying out of my mouth 750 00:27:38,170 --> 00:27:40,000 and I know that's not how you guys roll. 751 00:27:40,090 --> 00:27:41,090 No. 752 00:27:41,210 --> 00:27:43,040 I was just trying to make a good impression. 753 00:27:43,210 --> 00:27:44,880 Yeah. Well, you did. It was... 754 00:27:45,050 --> 00:27:47,080 I mean you didn't, but it's okay. 755 00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:50,320 It was an awkward dinner. 756 00:27:50,530 --> 00:27:52,240 It was a unique situation for... 757 00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:54,040 Yeah, but let's all just move on. 758 00:27:54,730 --> 00:27:56,440 Okay. Great. 759 00:27:56,610 --> 00:27:57,610 Truth be told, 760 00:27:57,770 --> 00:28:01,000 I haven't spent a lot of time with parental figures. 761 00:28:01,210 --> 00:28:04,280 I don't know if you know this, but I never knew my father. 762 00:28:04,890 --> 00:28:07,520 Yeah, he picked up my mom in this bar in Oakland. 763 00:28:07,690 --> 00:28:10,800 They had some sloppy car sex, and then never spoke again. 764 00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:11,920 Yeah. 765 00:28:12,050 --> 00:28:14,200 I'm not really close with my mom, either. 766 00:28:15,090 --> 00:28:18,560 To be frank, she's kind of a motherfucking bitch. 767 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,560 If I had a nickel for every time I... 768 00:28:23,290 --> 00:28:24,350 Yeah. 769 00:28:24,530 --> 00:28:26,720 We're sorry to hear that. 770 00:28:26,890 --> 00:28:28,600 That's some tough stuff, pal. 771 00:28:28,770 --> 00:28:30,040 Yup. That's... 772 00:28:30,610 --> 00:28:31,610 That's... 773 00:28:31,770 --> 00:28:33,960 All right. Well, it's getting late, so... 774 00:28:34,090 --> 00:28:35,090 Yeah. 775 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:36,920 I'm in love with your daughter, dudes. 776 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:38,360 And I'm just so fucking psyched 777 00:28:38,450 --> 00:28:40,280 to get to know the people that raised her. 778 00:28:40,450 --> 00:28:41,480 Mmm-hmm. 779 00:28:42,570 --> 00:28:45,320 And we're gonna do Christmas just like you do at home. 780 00:28:45,490 --> 00:28:46,520 Tomorrow night, 781 00:28:46,610 --> 00:28:48,910 I'm gonna throw a party in your honor. 782 00:28:49,770 --> 00:28:50,980 Oh, you don't have to go to the trouble. 783 00:28:51,010 --> 00:28:52,070 You don't... It's not. 784 00:28:52,170 --> 00:28:54,730 We're gonna do all the holiday shit. 785 00:28:55,450 --> 00:28:57,400 Okay. Hmm. All the shit. 786 00:28:57,730 --> 00:28:59,960 Ned, I'd love some guy time with you. 787 00:29:00,130 --> 00:29:02,280 So maybe we could take a walk tomorrow morning? 788 00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:04,760 Okay. Okay, cool. 789 00:29:04,930 --> 00:29:07,080 Justine, will you set Ned an alarm for 6:30 a.m.? 790 00:29:07,170 --> 00:29:08,250 You got it, Laird. 791 00:29:08,290 --> 00:29:12,160 Ned, an alarm's been set for you for 6:30 en la mañana. 792 00:29:12,330 --> 00:29:13,880 What? Who is that? 793 00:29:15,490 --> 00:29:17,000 That's Justine. 794 00:29:17,170 --> 00:29:20,160 Yeah, she's like Siri, but awesome. 795 00:29:20,370 --> 00:29:22,160 I got that chick from The Big Bang Theory, 796 00:29:22,330 --> 00:29:23,640 Kaley Cuoco, to do the voice. 797 00:29:23,810 --> 00:29:24,810 J, say hi. 798 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,160 Hey, Ned. Hey, Barb. How are you guys? 799 00:29:29,010 --> 00:29:30,040 - Hi. - Oh, my God. 800 00:29:30,170 --> 00:29:31,760 Stephanie's told me so much about you. 801 00:29:31,850 --> 00:29:33,320 Anything you need, I'm here. 802 00:29:33,490 --> 00:29:34,630 - Okay. - Thank you. 803 00:29:34,810 --> 00:29:36,960 She can't... Can she see us? 804 00:29:37,690 --> 00:29:41,280 She says that she can't, but I think that she can. 805 00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:43,210 What the fuck are you talking about? 806 00:29:43,330 --> 00:29:44,470 You know I can't see them. 807 00:29:45,970 --> 00:29:47,030 She's a perv. 808 00:29:47,210 --> 00:29:48,210 Laird. 809 00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:51,320 Anyway, I hope you two have a nice night's rest. 810 00:29:51,530 --> 00:29:53,000 Yeah, have a good night. Great night. 811 00:29:53,170 --> 00:29:54,200 Have a great night. Yeah. 812 00:29:56,330 --> 00:29:58,360 My instinct is to hug you right now. 813 00:29:58,530 --> 00:30:00,240 - Oh. No. - I don't think you... 814 00:30:00,450 --> 00:30:01,590 That's okay. Oh. 815 00:30:01,770 --> 00:30:03,680 Oh, my God. Barb. 816 00:30:03,850 --> 00:30:05,040 Good night. 817 00:30:09,970 --> 00:30:10,970 Peace. 818 00:30:23,050 --> 00:30:25,200 Baby, I want to trim your... 819 00:30:26,170 --> 00:30:28,520 Baby, I want to trim your... 820 00:30:29,170 --> 00:30:31,550 Baby, I want to trim your... 821 00:30:32,370 --> 00:30:34,360 Beautiful Christmas tree 822 00:30:35,050 --> 00:30:37,880 I'm gonna bring along my hatchet 823 00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:40,870 My beautiful Christmas balls 824 00:30:41,450 --> 00:30:44,400 I'll sprinkle my snow upon your tree 825 00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:47,720 And hang a mistletoe on your walls 826 00:30:48,290 --> 00:30:50,280 Baby, I want to trim your... 827 00:30:50,730 --> 00:30:54,920 Oh, beautiful Christmas tree 828 00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:11,520 Barb? There's no toilet paper. 829 00:31:11,650 --> 00:31:12,650 Uh-oh. 830 00:31:12,810 --> 00:31:14,360 Would you get a roll for me, please? 831 00:31:14,570 --> 00:31:15,920 Papa make a poopie? 832 00:31:16,090 --> 00:31:17,920 Yes. I made a poopie. 833 00:31:18,090 --> 00:31:19,360 Did Daddy do a doo-doo? 834 00:31:19,570 --> 00:31:21,600 Barb, just get the toilet paper, please? 835 00:31:21,770 --> 00:31:23,360 All right. Well, you sit tight. 836 00:31:23,450 --> 00:31:24,800 I'm gonna go find you some TP. 837 00:31:24,970 --> 00:31:25,970 Thank you. 838 00:31:28,130 --> 00:31:29,130 Of course. 839 00:31:30,090 --> 00:31:31,760 Mr. Playboy. 840 00:31:31,930 --> 00:31:33,600 Unbelievable. 841 00:31:34,250 --> 00:31:35,310 Who is that? 842 00:31:36,450 --> 00:31:38,440 She's a bit of a Plain Jane. 843 00:31:38,610 --> 00:31:39,800 Darling? Yeah. Yup. 844 00:31:40,010 --> 00:31:42,720 Just, um, crack the door and toss the roll, please. 845 00:31:42,930 --> 00:31:45,960 It's gonna be a little more complicated than that. 846 00:31:46,130 --> 00:31:47,600 Good morning, Ned. 847 00:31:48,290 --> 00:31:49,430 It's Gustav. 848 00:31:49,570 --> 00:31:50,570 Great. 849 00:31:50,610 --> 00:31:53,960 As I've already told Barb, we are a paperless household. 850 00:31:54,810 --> 00:31:56,120 Paperless? What? 851 00:31:56,970 --> 00:31:59,160 It's a paperless house, darling. 852 00:31:59,330 --> 00:32:00,470 I got that. 853 00:32:00,650 --> 00:32:04,680 But how am I supposed to complete my business? 854 00:32:04,850 --> 00:32:06,480 Well, all Japanese toilets 855 00:32:06,650 --> 00:32:09,080 have a very effective and pleasant cleaning spray. 856 00:32:09,290 --> 00:32:10,430 And I will be very happy 857 00:32:10,610 --> 00:32:12,760 to walk you through the entire process. Oh, God. 858 00:32:12,930 --> 00:32:15,800 Ned, please locate the control panel to your left. 859 00:32:16,850 --> 00:32:18,440 Okay, I see it. 860 00:32:18,610 --> 00:32:20,050 Now on that control panel is a button 861 00:32:20,170 --> 00:32:22,760 that shows an image of water spraying up. 862 00:32:22,970 --> 00:32:24,760 Okay. And I just push it? 863 00:32:24,970 --> 00:32:26,110 Just press it, yes. 864 00:32:30,730 --> 00:32:32,040 Was that cologne? 865 00:32:32,210 --> 00:32:33,520 Oh! Cologne? Oh, yes! 866 00:32:33,730 --> 00:32:36,160 That is a designer-scented talcum powder. 867 00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:39,160 But that button should not have activated that. 868 00:32:39,330 --> 00:32:42,160 Ned, that is what is called Big Pony for Men by the Ralph Lauren. 869 00:32:42,330 --> 00:32:43,390 I'm excited to try. 870 00:32:43,850 --> 00:32:46,840 Can we please just continue? All right. 871 00:32:47,010 --> 00:32:48,360 Ned? Yes. 872 00:32:48,530 --> 00:32:50,520 I would like to apologize sincerely again. 873 00:32:50,690 --> 00:32:54,160 This is the 2018 model that you are on right now, 874 00:32:54,330 --> 00:32:55,440 so they have not yet made 875 00:32:55,530 --> 00:32:57,520 an instruction manual in English yet. 876 00:32:57,690 --> 00:33:00,840 So I'm going to take care of this on my end, all right? 877 00:33:01,050 --> 00:33:03,720 So Ned, you focus on your end in there 878 00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:06,520 and I will focus on your end out here. 879 00:33:07,090 --> 00:33:08,520 That's too good. This is it. 880 00:33:08,690 --> 00:33:10,360 This should do it, Ned. 881 00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:12,010 Okay. Something's whirring. 882 00:33:12,050 --> 00:33:14,000 Something's spinning around in there. 883 00:33:15,050 --> 00:33:16,880 No! Turn it off! 884 00:33:17,050 --> 00:33:19,080 Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! 885 00:33:19,370 --> 00:33:20,370 God! 886 00:33:20,410 --> 00:33:21,720 Oh, scheisse! 887 00:33:21,890 --> 00:33:24,040 We are having some technical difficulties. 888 00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:25,760 That was the vaginal cleanse. 889 00:33:25,890 --> 00:33:26,890 The what cleanse? 890 00:33:27,050 --> 00:33:28,720 I just want a square of toilet paper. 891 00:33:28,890 --> 00:33:30,030 The vaginal cleanse. 892 00:33:30,210 --> 00:33:31,480 Which I hear is refreshing 893 00:33:31,570 --> 00:33:33,600 and apparently also very stimulating. 894 00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:35,390 Just saying. 895 00:33:41,930 --> 00:33:42,930 Ned? 896 00:33:44,050 --> 00:33:45,050 Really? 897 00:33:45,410 --> 00:33:46,410 I'm so sorry, Ned... 898 00:33:46,570 --> 00:33:49,800 but I'm going to have to manually reboot the system from the inside. 899 00:33:51,210 --> 00:33:52,240 In here? 900 00:33:52,410 --> 00:33:53,720 I am so sorry. 901 00:33:53,890 --> 00:33:54,920 Fine. 902 00:33:57,810 --> 00:33:58,920 Why not? 903 00:34:00,410 --> 00:34:02,760 Barb, would you close the door? Sorry. 904 00:34:02,930 --> 00:34:04,360 It's gonna be great. 905 00:34:07,090 --> 00:34:08,760 Ned, I am blinders. 906 00:34:09,210 --> 00:34:11,480 I see nothing. I smell nothing. 907 00:34:12,450 --> 00:34:14,440 The print is very small. Mm-hmm. 908 00:34:14,610 --> 00:34:15,800 Okay, forgive me. 909 00:34:16,570 --> 00:34:18,560 I can't see the instructions. 910 00:34:22,090 --> 00:34:25,000 All right. What do we have here? 911 00:34:25,290 --> 00:34:26,290 Hmm... 912 00:34:54,810 --> 00:34:59,000 I had some stomach problems last night. 913 00:34:59,650 --> 00:35:01,000 I think it was the bear. 914 00:35:01,210 --> 00:35:03,440 I can guarantee you, it was the bear. 915 00:35:07,010 --> 00:35:08,800 Turning on the fan. 916 00:35:09,530 --> 00:35:11,680 Great. Wunderbar. 917 00:35:16,170 --> 00:35:17,480 How'd it go? 918 00:35:18,050 --> 00:35:20,350 I am so sorry that it took so long. 919 00:35:20,530 --> 00:35:22,880 Ned, I'm going to need you to be completely still 920 00:35:23,050 --> 00:35:25,320 while we try to lock in your location. 921 00:35:25,530 --> 00:35:27,800 I'm sitting on a toilet, that's pretty still. 922 00:35:27,970 --> 00:35:30,320 Searching, searching, und searching. 923 00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:32,830 And we have target achieved! 924 00:35:33,010 --> 00:35:34,480 And sploosh! 925 00:35:34,570 --> 00:35:35,680 Oh! 926 00:35:47,530 --> 00:35:49,520 There you go, girls. 927 00:35:49,690 --> 00:35:51,040 You raise chickens? 928 00:35:51,210 --> 00:35:52,880 All free-range. 929 00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:54,240 Cows, too. 930 00:35:54,410 --> 00:35:56,760 Pigs, artisanal llamas. 931 00:35:56,930 --> 00:35:58,280 Everything you eat here 932 00:35:58,370 --> 00:36:00,520 comes from within a 500-yard radius. 933 00:36:00,730 --> 00:36:03,080 I call it "lawn to table eating." 934 00:36:03,250 --> 00:36:04,250 There she is. 935 00:36:04,730 --> 00:36:05,920 Hey, Daisy. 936 00:36:07,370 --> 00:36:08,800 Oh. Hi. 937 00:36:09,370 --> 00:36:11,040 Go on, get. 938 00:36:12,690 --> 00:36:13,850 So glad we're doing this, Ned. 939 00:36:14,410 --> 00:36:17,020 I feel like I know you after everything that Steph's told me about you, 940 00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:18,600 but still not the same... 941 00:36:22,250 --> 00:36:23,520 Do you submit? Fuck you! 942 00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:26,240 Gustav! Ned, stay away! 943 00:36:27,370 --> 00:36:28,370 You wanna fight? 944 00:36:32,770 --> 00:36:33,770 Tap out! No! 945 00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:35,040 You want to tap out. 946 00:36:37,130 --> 00:36:38,800 Okay, okay! Fine! 947 00:36:38,970 --> 00:36:40,440 Nice work! 948 00:36:40,610 --> 00:36:42,100 And your reactions are getting quicker. 949 00:36:42,130 --> 00:36:43,130 Really? Absolutely. 950 00:36:43,250 --> 00:36:44,250 Thanks. 951 00:36:44,290 --> 00:36:46,450 I am so sorry, Ned. I just didn't want you to get hurt. 952 00:36:46,930 --> 00:36:50,920 Wait, so you just do this Pink Panther thing? 953 00:36:51,090 --> 00:36:52,480 Pink Panther? Pink Panther? 954 00:36:52,650 --> 00:36:54,920 The Pink Panther from the Pink Panther movies. 955 00:36:55,090 --> 00:36:58,280 When Cato attacks Inspector Clouseau to keep him sharp. 956 00:36:58,450 --> 00:37:00,060 Are those really old? I never heard of it. 957 00:37:00,090 --> 00:37:01,120 I'm not familiar, either, 958 00:37:01,290 --> 00:37:02,800 but it sounds absolutely charming. 959 00:37:04,610 --> 00:37:05,920 Pink Panther. 960 00:37:06,130 --> 00:37:07,480 The movies? Mm-hmm. 961 00:37:08,330 --> 00:37:11,640 Cato is his assistant, his houseboy. 962 00:37:11,810 --> 00:37:13,160 Houseboy? Well, it's... 963 00:37:13,330 --> 00:37:15,280 That sounds racist. 964 00:37:16,130 --> 00:37:18,590 He did call him "my little yellow friend." But... 965 00:37:18,810 --> 00:37:20,060 I'm sorry, you have to understand, Ned. 966 00:37:20,090 --> 00:37:22,650 Laird is the CEO of a massive tech company. 967 00:37:22,850 --> 00:37:24,440 I don't like bodyguards around 968 00:37:24,610 --> 00:37:27,440 so I have Goose train me in case I get kidnapped or whatever. 969 00:37:27,650 --> 00:37:30,280 By the way, your Chun Kuk Do moves were very solid. 970 00:37:30,450 --> 00:37:32,120 But what happened to the evasive parkour? 971 00:37:32,290 --> 00:37:33,480 Ah, evasive parkour. Yeah. 972 00:37:33,650 --> 00:37:35,000 I totally fucking spaced! 973 00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:36,800 There's always room to improve. 974 00:37:36,970 --> 00:37:38,000 All right. Thanks, man. 975 00:37:38,170 --> 00:37:39,480 You got it, brother. 976 00:37:39,650 --> 00:37:41,320 All right, ciao for now, you friends. 977 00:37:41,490 --> 00:37:43,920 And you guys have a lovely chat. 978 00:37:45,010 --> 00:37:46,610 Ned, come on. I wanna show you my office. 979 00:37:48,490 --> 00:37:51,360 You know, that's like classic Pink Panther. 980 00:37:52,810 --> 00:37:55,370 - This is where you work, huh? - Yeah. 981 00:37:55,530 --> 00:37:58,520 I have a den in the house where I do the financial stuff 982 00:37:58,690 --> 00:38:00,880 but this is where all the big ideas happen. 983 00:38:01,050 --> 00:38:02,960 Don't you need a computer and... 984 00:38:03,130 --> 00:38:05,160 Nah. My girl Justine records everything. 985 00:38:05,330 --> 00:38:06,440 Right, J? 986 00:38:06,650 --> 00:38:08,360 Yep, I'm here. Hey, Ned. 987 00:38:09,210 --> 00:38:11,610 Hey, why don't you play back a blip from yesterday's session? 988 00:38:11,730 --> 00:38:14,300 All right, hold on. Fuck. There's so much shit up here in your Cloud. 989 00:38:14,330 --> 00:38:15,520 Okay, okay got it. 990 00:38:15,690 --> 00:38:18,360 Come on, idiot, think. Names for games. Um... 991 00:38:18,570 --> 00:38:21,320 Ape Assassins Six: Capuchin Chaos. 992 00:38:21,490 --> 00:38:23,840 Uh, Silverback Salsa. 993 00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:26,200 Baboon Bukkake. 994 00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:27,590 Fuck! Wow, that's awful! 995 00:38:27,690 --> 00:38:28,720 Bad idea. 996 00:38:28,850 --> 00:38:29,880 Why? Why's that? 997 00:38:29,970 --> 00:38:30,970 Uh... 998 00:38:31,210 --> 00:38:32,520 What does that mean? 999 00:38:32,650 --> 00:38:33,650 Bukkake? 1000 00:38:33,850 --> 00:38:34,990 Oh, um... 1001 00:38:35,210 --> 00:38:36,920 Just means a lot of things are happening 1002 00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:38,220 and you're feeling overwhelmed. 1003 00:38:38,250 --> 00:38:39,520 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1004 00:38:39,690 --> 00:38:41,560 Yeah. I've felt bukkake before. 1005 00:38:41,690 --> 00:38:42,690 Hmm... 1006 00:38:45,530 --> 00:38:48,040 Grab a seat. Make yourself comf. Let's break it down. 1007 00:38:48,890 --> 00:38:52,200 Just pop down right here on the floor. 1008 00:38:54,610 --> 00:38:55,830 There you go. 1009 00:38:56,890 --> 00:39:01,040 Ned, I think you and I have so much in common. 1010 00:39:01,210 --> 00:39:04,520 We see something we want and we just dive in 1011 00:39:04,690 --> 00:39:05,690 and we take it. 1012 00:39:05,730 --> 00:39:06,730 Know what I mean? 1013 00:39:07,890 --> 00:39:09,000 Yeah. 1014 00:39:11,530 --> 00:39:12,750 Which is why... 1015 00:39:13,770 --> 00:39:15,040 ...on Christmas Day... 1016 00:39:15,890 --> 00:39:17,680 I'm going to ask Stephy to marry me. 1017 00:39:27,370 --> 00:39:29,930 And I know how tight you two are. 1018 00:39:30,050 --> 00:39:31,050 Mm-hmm. 1019 00:39:31,090 --> 00:39:33,720 So I'd really, really 1020 00:39:33,890 --> 00:39:34,920 like your blessing. 1021 00:39:38,570 --> 00:39:40,280 Uh, Laird. 1022 00:39:41,250 --> 00:39:42,580 Really appreciate you coming to me. 1023 00:39:42,610 --> 00:39:43,610 'Course. 1024 00:39:43,730 --> 00:39:45,960 But, uh, the answer's no. 1025 00:39:50,290 --> 00:39:52,120 Dude, I'm so confused. 1026 00:39:52,290 --> 00:39:54,320 What the fuck? What the hell? 1027 00:39:54,490 --> 00:39:55,760 This went so much differently 1028 00:39:55,890 --> 00:39:57,320 when I rehearsed it with Gustav. 1029 00:39:57,490 --> 00:39:59,600 Yeah. I asked you and you were like, 1030 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:01,080 "Yeah, dude. My son." 1031 00:40:01,290 --> 00:40:03,120 Laird. Listen to me, okay. 1032 00:40:03,730 --> 00:40:07,430 Beside the fact that I don't know you from a hole in the wall... 1033 00:40:07,610 --> 00:40:11,440 Stephanie is just not ready for this step in her life. 1034 00:40:11,610 --> 00:40:14,600 Oh, I'm totally getting the signals that she is. 1035 00:40:14,770 --> 00:40:17,400 I'm her father, I know her pretty well. 1036 00:40:17,610 --> 00:40:19,400 Okay, all right. All right, Ned... 1037 00:40:19,610 --> 00:40:21,240 Dude, I know I sprung this on you. 1038 00:40:21,450 --> 00:40:23,960 My bad. Okay? Let's just back it up. 1039 00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:25,160 All right? All right. 1040 00:40:25,370 --> 00:40:28,480 Why don't you give me a few days to win you over, okay? 1041 00:40:28,650 --> 00:40:29,840 And by Christmas morning... 1042 00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:32,470 I promise, you're going to be calling me "son." 1043 00:40:32,650 --> 00:40:34,440 I'm gonna be calling you "Dad". 1044 00:40:34,610 --> 00:40:35,780 Don't think that's going to happen. 1045 00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:37,800 I think it's gonna, Dad. 1046 00:40:39,810 --> 00:40:40,810 Don't. 1047 00:40:41,610 --> 00:40:42,750 Dad, come on. 1048 00:40:42,970 --> 00:40:44,500 Don't call me "Dad." Don't call you "Dad"? 1049 00:40:44,530 --> 00:40:45,530 I'm not your dad. 1050 00:40:45,690 --> 00:40:47,800 I mean, you're gonna be my dad. 1051 00:40:47,890 --> 00:40:48,890 No. No. 1052 00:40:49,010 --> 00:40:50,720 What, Dad? 1053 00:40:53,170 --> 00:40:54,450 Okay, now you're playing with me. 1054 00:40:54,530 --> 00:40:56,360 All right. Dad. 1055 00:40:58,170 --> 00:40:59,720 Look, Laird. 1056 00:41:01,010 --> 00:41:03,470 Why do you even care about what I think? 1057 00:41:03,650 --> 00:41:05,000 You're Stephanie's father. 1058 00:41:06,290 --> 00:41:09,000 I'm not gonna ask Stephanie to marry me unless I have your blessing. 1059 00:41:09,970 --> 00:41:11,160 Okay. 1060 00:41:11,370 --> 00:41:12,640 Justine, did you get that? 1061 00:41:12,810 --> 00:41:14,520 Totes. Yeah, recorded every word. 1062 00:41:15,850 --> 00:41:17,680 Totes. And totes is what? 1063 00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:20,720 It means totally. But totally's kind of long, so "totes" is just easier. 1064 00:41:22,690 --> 00:41:23,690 Okay. Good. 1065 00:41:23,810 --> 00:41:24,810 Okay. Okay. 1066 00:41:24,850 --> 00:41:26,040 All right, cool. Yeah. 1067 00:41:26,210 --> 00:41:28,510 But you gotta promise me 1068 00:41:28,690 --> 00:41:31,840 that you won't tell Steph anything about this. 1069 00:41:32,370 --> 00:41:33,560 About any of this. 1070 00:41:33,770 --> 00:41:36,360 Trust me, that is the last thing in the world I will do. 1071 00:41:36,530 --> 00:41:39,090 For reals, dude. I want it to be a surprise. 1072 00:41:39,250 --> 00:41:40,600 No word. I won't say a word. 1073 00:41:40,770 --> 00:41:42,880 Barb and Scotty, too. No clowning. 1074 00:41:43,410 --> 00:41:44,440 No clowning. 1075 00:41:46,610 --> 00:41:47,670 What? 1076 00:41:47,850 --> 00:41:50,080 I'd just feel a lot better about this if we pinky swore. 1077 00:41:53,730 --> 00:41:54,760 Oh. 1078 00:41:59,450 --> 00:42:01,240 I see what you mean. Cool. 1079 00:42:01,930 --> 00:42:03,680 Go get breakfast. Okay. 1080 00:42:05,210 --> 00:42:06,270 Fuck! 1081 00:42:07,250 --> 00:42:08,390 Sup, guys? 1082 00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:10,360 - Hey, boss. - Mayhew! 1083 00:42:10,930 --> 00:42:12,580 ...took a little longer 1084 00:42:12,610 --> 00:42:15,400 Go into the school gonna run another banger 1085 00:42:16,130 --> 00:42:17,960 The fuck? Come with me immediately. 1086 00:42:18,810 --> 00:42:20,360 The hell is this room? 1087 00:42:20,570 --> 00:42:21,630 Randy, get the fuck out. 1088 00:42:21,810 --> 00:42:22,920 Yes, sir, Gustav. Mm-hmm. 1089 00:42:26,050 --> 00:42:28,120 I am on the needles und pins. 1090 00:42:28,290 --> 00:42:30,000 I need you to tell me how it went right now 1091 00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:31,120 or I'm going to burst. 1092 00:42:31,330 --> 00:42:33,120 He said no! What? Okay, okay. 1093 00:42:33,330 --> 00:42:36,080 But how did you respond? 1094 00:42:36,290 --> 00:42:38,920 I was blindsided, man. I didn't know what to do. 1095 00:42:39,130 --> 00:42:40,130 I challenged him. 1096 00:42:40,290 --> 00:42:42,160 Okay. I started calling him Dad. 1097 00:42:43,330 --> 00:42:45,480 Oy vey. The fuck, man! 1098 00:42:45,650 --> 00:42:49,720 Why would you call him Dad? You're putting him at unease! 1099 00:42:50,450 --> 00:42:51,760 You have to find a way in. 1100 00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:54,270 You have to do something for him that's truly special 1101 00:42:54,450 --> 00:42:56,800 so that he knows that your intentions are pure. 1102 00:42:56,970 --> 00:42:58,890 Dude, Goose, I don't know how to talk to the guy. 1103 00:42:58,970 --> 00:43:01,170 It's like we speak two different languages or something. 1104 00:43:01,290 --> 00:43:02,290 You do. Yeah. 1105 00:43:02,450 --> 00:43:03,640 He speaks English. 1106 00:43:03,810 --> 00:43:07,430 And you speak English with resounding amounts of "fuck." 1107 00:43:07,610 --> 00:43:08,980 All right, Stephanie's been on my case, too. 1108 00:43:09,010 --> 00:43:10,010 Yes. I got it. 1109 00:43:10,130 --> 00:43:11,130 All right? Okay. 1110 00:43:11,170 --> 00:43:12,170 Right. All right, man. 1111 00:43:12,330 --> 00:43:13,330 Great. Great. 1112 00:43:13,370 --> 00:43:14,900 You just fucking really hit me really hard. 1113 00:43:14,930 --> 00:43:16,360 I know. I am sorry. 1114 00:43:16,530 --> 00:43:19,480 It's just, Laird... 1115 00:43:19,650 --> 00:43:22,000 ...your relationship with Miss Stephanie 1116 00:43:22,210 --> 00:43:24,670 is very special. It's the real deal. 1117 00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:25,810 Hey. Yes. 1118 00:43:25,930 --> 00:43:28,800 Goose, I know I pay you a shit-ton of money, 1119 00:43:29,010 --> 00:43:30,320 but you're my best friend. 1120 00:43:30,490 --> 00:43:32,600 Our friendship is priceless. 1121 00:43:32,770 --> 00:43:35,000 Hey. Thanks, brother. 1122 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,480 Okay. 1123 00:43:48,850 --> 00:43:51,040 Okay. Ow! Mercy. Mercy. 1124 00:43:52,490 --> 00:43:53,490 Fuck. 1125 00:43:55,570 --> 00:43:56,570 Bro, you're incredible. 1126 00:43:56,730 --> 00:43:57,840 That was very imaginative 1127 00:43:58,010 --> 00:43:59,400 how you took that tender moment 1128 00:43:59,530 --> 00:44:00,930 and used it as your pivot to attack. 1129 00:44:01,010 --> 00:44:02,280 Yeah. Very good. 1130 00:44:06,050 --> 00:44:07,050 What's up, Cheese? 1131 00:44:07,090 --> 00:44:09,040 I'm about to go to the football game. 1132 00:44:09,210 --> 00:44:10,400 Lions, baby! 1133 00:44:10,570 --> 00:44:11,840 Great. How's business? 1134 00:44:12,050 --> 00:44:13,190 Tell me something good. 1135 00:44:13,370 --> 00:44:14,560 Oh, uh... 1136 00:44:15,010 --> 00:44:17,080 I talked to my guy over at Dick's Sporting Goods. 1137 00:44:17,250 --> 00:44:18,820 Don't tell me they're going with China, too. 1138 00:44:18,850 --> 00:44:19,880 Worse. 1139 00:44:20,050 --> 00:44:21,920 Freaking online banner ads. 1140 00:44:22,090 --> 00:44:23,880 No. Damn it. All right, listen. 1141 00:44:24,530 --> 00:44:28,230 I'm gonna call Don Millis at Subaru of Southern Michigan. 1142 00:44:28,410 --> 00:44:31,360 I heard a little rumor that they might be looking for a new dance partner. 1143 00:44:31,570 --> 00:44:33,080 Yeah, Don, the big guy, right? 1144 00:44:33,250 --> 00:44:35,000 You guys go back to your car selling days. 1145 00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:36,840 Yeah. It's worth a shot. Listen... 1146 00:44:37,010 --> 00:44:38,600 I need you to go in and pull his card 1147 00:44:38,730 --> 00:44:40,220 from my rolodex while I look for a pen. 1148 00:44:40,250 --> 00:44:42,040 You got it, Cheese. No, you got it. 1149 00:44:43,690 --> 00:44:45,280 So how goes it in Cali? 1150 00:44:46,290 --> 00:44:48,400 It feels like we've landed in The Twilight Zone. 1151 00:44:48,570 --> 00:44:49,570 Did you find the card? 1152 00:44:51,210 --> 00:44:52,270 Yeah. I got it right here. 1153 00:44:52,450 --> 00:44:53,800 Just hang on. 1154 00:44:53,930 --> 00:44:55,360 I have nothing to write with here. 1155 00:44:55,530 --> 00:44:56,960 This whole house is paperless. 1156 00:44:57,090 --> 00:44:58,090 Paperless? 1157 00:44:58,250 --> 00:44:59,560 Well, how do you wipe your ass? 1158 00:44:59,690 --> 00:45:00,690 You don't. 1159 00:45:00,770 --> 00:45:02,880 They have these Japanese toilets that... 1160 00:45:03,770 --> 00:45:05,850 It's one of those little squat jobs, little squatter. 1161 00:45:05,970 --> 00:45:08,600 No. Just... never mind. Just give me the number. 1162 00:45:08,770 --> 00:45:10,080 Hey, Ned, I'm here. 1163 00:45:10,250 --> 00:45:11,560 I can take it down for you. 1164 00:45:11,730 --> 00:45:13,960 Justine, please just... I'm fine. 1165 00:45:14,130 --> 00:45:15,130 Just go away. 1166 00:45:15,290 --> 00:45:16,580 All right, I'm just trying to help. 1167 00:45:16,610 --> 00:45:17,890 You don't have to be such a dick. 1168 00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:20,280 Whoa, whoa. Cheese, who is that? 1169 00:45:20,450 --> 00:45:21,620 She's got a foul little mouth. 1170 00:45:21,650 --> 00:45:23,260 Is that the kid's secretary you fighting with? 1171 00:45:23,290 --> 00:45:25,720 No, no, no. That's the woman who lives in the ceiling. 1172 00:45:25,810 --> 00:45:26,890 Cheese, what she look like? 1173 00:45:26,930 --> 00:45:27,930 The woman who lives... 1174 00:45:28,090 --> 00:45:29,140 You say she lives in the ceiling? 1175 00:45:29,170 --> 00:45:31,880 She's a disembodied voice that... 1176 00:45:32,090 --> 00:45:33,640 Never mind. I'll explain later. 1177 00:45:33,810 --> 00:45:34,840 The voice sounds sexy. 1178 00:45:34,970 --> 00:45:36,170 Are they using somebody famous? 1179 00:45:36,290 --> 00:45:38,200 I wouldn't say too famous. 1180 00:45:38,290 --> 00:45:39,460 You know, million dollars a week, 1181 00:45:39,490 --> 00:45:41,260 biggest show in the world, no big deal. 1182 00:45:41,290 --> 00:45:42,290 Lou. She can hear me? 1183 00:45:42,770 --> 00:45:44,090 Of course I can hear you. 1184 00:45:44,130 --> 00:45:45,270 How you doin', baby? 1185 00:45:45,450 --> 00:45:47,400 Better now that I'm talking with you. 1186 00:45:47,610 --> 00:45:49,570 Just give me the number. I'm calling him now. 1187 00:45:53,970 --> 00:45:55,320 Let's catch some waves. 1188 00:45:56,970 --> 00:45:58,820 - Tsunami. - That guy's cool. 1189 00:45:58,850 --> 00:45:59,850 Yeah, Goose is the best. 1190 00:46:00,370 --> 00:46:01,480 Oh... 1191 00:46:06,170 --> 00:46:07,420 Laird, I'm gonna be honest with you, buddy. 1192 00:46:07,450 --> 00:46:08,450 Okay. 1193 00:46:08,490 --> 00:46:10,480 Gorillas in board shorts is a fun touch. 1194 00:46:10,650 --> 00:46:11,650 Yeah. I'll give you that. 1195 00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:13,500 But when the only mission is to get to shore, 1196 00:46:13,530 --> 00:46:14,890 I'm not feeling enough drama there. 1197 00:46:15,010 --> 00:46:16,010 You know? 1198 00:46:17,130 --> 00:46:19,320 You know what? You're so fucking right. 1199 00:46:19,490 --> 00:46:20,520 Fuck! 1200 00:46:20,690 --> 00:46:22,340 We've been developing this limp dick for months. 1201 00:46:22,370 --> 00:46:23,980 You come and you play it for five minutes, 1202 00:46:24,010 --> 00:46:25,680 you know exactly what's wrong with it. 1203 00:46:25,850 --> 00:46:28,000 You're a sharp little fucker. You know that? 1204 00:46:28,530 --> 00:46:29,840 Thank you. 1205 00:46:30,010 --> 00:46:32,000 I mean, for real, man. I appreciate it. 1206 00:46:32,970 --> 00:46:34,360 It's just nice to be listened to. 1207 00:46:35,170 --> 00:46:36,310 What do you mean? 1208 00:46:36,730 --> 00:46:38,300 I'm gonna be running my dad's business one day. 1209 00:46:38,330 --> 00:46:39,330 Uh-huh. 1210 00:46:39,410 --> 00:46:42,320 But he won't even listen to any of my ideas about innovation. 1211 00:46:42,490 --> 00:46:44,000 What? Right? 1212 00:46:44,170 --> 00:46:45,360 You're next gen, dude. 1213 00:46:45,530 --> 00:46:47,890 It's where all the new seeds come from. Everyone knows that. 1214 00:46:47,970 --> 00:46:49,140 And I told him that. I was like... 1215 00:46:49,170 --> 00:46:51,630 "Dad, if you're gonna unleash me to my full potentsh... 1216 00:46:51,810 --> 00:46:52,930 "I need a seat at the table." 1217 00:46:53,050 --> 00:46:54,160 He just won't listen to me. 1218 00:46:54,330 --> 00:46:55,550 Um... Get that seat! 1219 00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:56,730 I will get that seat. 1220 00:46:56,890 --> 00:46:58,610 Gotta get that seat, Scotty. That's my seat. 1221 00:46:58,650 --> 00:46:59,870 Nobody else touch it. No. 1222 00:47:00,050 --> 00:47:02,680 Where is that seat? It's at the fucking table. 1223 00:47:02,890 --> 00:47:04,920 And I'm gonna get that seat at that table. 1224 00:47:05,090 --> 00:47:06,840 You deserve a fucking throne, dawg. 1225 00:47:07,010 --> 00:47:08,370 Yeah, the Iron Throne. Iron Throne. 1226 00:47:08,530 --> 00:47:10,020 Iron Throne. Game of Thrones over here! 1227 00:47:10,050 --> 00:47:12,180 I'm breathing fire and grabbing titties left and right. 1228 00:47:12,210 --> 00:47:13,380 Fucking King Joffrey up in this. 1229 00:47:13,410 --> 00:47:14,410 Those are my titties! 1230 00:47:14,610 --> 00:47:16,520 You're the next in line. That's me. 1231 00:47:16,890 --> 00:47:17,890 My man. 1232 00:47:21,530 --> 00:47:22,720 Oh, God. 1233 00:47:23,730 --> 00:47:27,560 They're paying your student loans. 1234 00:47:28,130 --> 00:47:29,160 Oh. 1235 00:47:40,770 --> 00:47:42,080 Stamp Free Invites. 1236 00:47:49,210 --> 00:47:50,720 Oh, man. 1237 00:47:54,050 --> 00:47:56,080 Ho, ho, ho! 1238 00:47:58,730 --> 00:47:59,760 Wow. 1239 00:47:59,930 --> 00:48:01,210 Is that a horse? That is a llama. 1240 00:48:01,410 --> 00:48:02,410 Oh, a llama. Hi. 1241 00:48:02,490 --> 00:48:03,600 Hello. 1242 00:48:03,770 --> 00:48:05,600 Oh, my goodness. Hey, girl. 1243 00:48:05,770 --> 00:48:07,080 We don't have those in... 1244 00:48:07,290 --> 00:48:08,600 Dad! 1245 00:48:08,770 --> 00:48:10,920 There you are. This is insane! 1246 00:48:11,090 --> 00:48:12,440 Oh, you working on the books? 1247 00:48:12,610 --> 00:48:14,440 Uh, yeah, you know. Just the little stuff. 1248 00:48:16,090 --> 00:48:18,440 I was thinking about Laird's Christmas party. 1249 00:48:18,610 --> 00:48:20,440 Gustav gave me a preview of the guest list. 1250 00:48:20,610 --> 00:48:22,520 And, Dad, it is a veritable "who's who" 1251 00:48:22,610 --> 00:48:24,000 of Silicon Valley power players. 1252 00:48:24,170 --> 00:48:25,800 Tyson Modell is coming! 1253 00:48:25,970 --> 00:48:27,800 Wait, who is he? What? 1254 00:48:27,970 --> 00:48:28,980 He's the kid who founded Ghostchat. 1255 00:48:29,010 --> 00:48:30,070 Oh, right. 1256 00:48:30,170 --> 00:48:31,660 He turned down three billion dollars from Facebook, 1257 00:48:31,690 --> 00:48:33,120 and he's only 24 years old. 1258 00:48:33,290 --> 00:48:35,440 I'm gonna broker a sit-down between you two. 1259 00:48:36,650 --> 00:48:38,680 Dad, thank you for telling me to pack a blazer. 1260 00:48:38,850 --> 00:48:41,060 Now, should I throw on a tie or should I keep it business casual? 1261 00:48:41,090 --> 00:48:42,640 Scotty, just listen to me, all right? 1262 00:48:42,810 --> 00:48:44,880 Most of these Internet companies 1263 00:48:44,970 --> 00:48:47,000 are built on smoke and mirrors. 1264 00:48:47,170 --> 00:48:48,200 What? 1265 00:48:48,330 --> 00:48:49,330 Don't get sucked in. 1266 00:48:49,490 --> 00:48:51,640 That whole industry is based on hooey. 1267 00:48:51,810 --> 00:48:53,920 I'm gonna drop some knowledge on you. 1268 00:48:54,130 --> 00:48:55,320 Times are changing, Pops. 1269 00:48:55,490 --> 00:48:57,520 And not everything you think is hooey is hooey. 1270 00:48:58,650 --> 00:49:00,640 Wow. That's profound. 1271 00:49:01,170 --> 00:49:02,360 Profound. 1272 00:49:03,490 --> 00:49:04,760 And you... 1273 00:49:05,330 --> 00:49:07,120 Hooey-meister himself. 1274 00:49:09,050 --> 00:49:10,880 You're nothing but an octopus. 1275 00:49:11,610 --> 00:49:13,080 An octopus. 1276 00:49:27,370 --> 00:49:29,120 Merry fuckin' Christmas 1277 00:49:43,050 --> 00:49:44,360 What are you pouring? 1278 00:49:44,530 --> 00:49:46,360 We are doing a deconstructed eggnog tonight. 1279 00:49:46,530 --> 00:49:48,560 Eggnog. Yes. Thank you. 1280 00:49:48,730 --> 00:49:50,000 Where you from, boss? 1281 00:49:50,090 --> 00:49:51,090 Michigan. 1282 00:49:51,210 --> 00:49:52,720 Oh, Michigan. You in the car business? 1283 00:49:52,890 --> 00:49:55,000 Uh, no. Printing. Ned Fleming. 1284 00:49:55,170 --> 00:49:56,720 Elon Musk. Elon Musk? 1285 00:49:57,330 --> 00:49:58,470 Yeah. Tesla, Elon Musk? 1286 00:49:58,690 --> 00:49:59,880 Yeah. Wow. 1287 00:50:01,210 --> 00:50:02,210 How do you know Laird? 1288 00:50:02,410 --> 00:50:03,680 Uh... 1289 00:50:03,770 --> 00:50:05,560 He's dating my daughter. 1290 00:50:06,770 --> 00:50:08,040 Uh-oh. 1291 00:50:08,210 --> 00:50:09,400 Nice talking to you. Yeah. 1292 00:50:09,570 --> 00:50:10,600 What? 1293 00:50:12,050 --> 00:50:14,080 Oh, hey! Hi, honey! 1294 00:50:14,290 --> 00:50:16,440 Could I get a glass of white wine, please? 1295 00:50:18,210 --> 00:50:19,720 Ooh, hiya, handsome. Hi! 1296 00:50:19,890 --> 00:50:21,560 You look great. Oh, come on. 1297 00:50:21,730 --> 00:50:23,400 No, you do. Thank you. 1298 00:50:23,570 --> 00:50:26,280 I'm just getting in the holiday spirit. 1299 00:50:26,450 --> 00:50:30,120 So what were you talking to Laird about for so long? 1300 00:50:30,930 --> 00:50:32,760 I got the entire Mayhew family saga. 1301 00:50:32,930 --> 00:50:34,240 Oh, God. I'm sorry. 1302 00:50:34,410 --> 00:50:37,400 No, no, turns out it was pretty interesting actually. 1303 00:50:37,570 --> 00:50:40,720 His mother was a secretary at one of these tech companies. 1304 00:50:40,890 --> 00:50:43,240 Can I interest you in a Kobe beef slider? 1305 00:50:43,410 --> 00:50:44,720 Ooh, yum. Real food? 1306 00:50:44,890 --> 00:50:46,760 Yes, I'm starving. 1307 00:50:46,930 --> 00:50:48,480 Wait, what? 1308 00:50:48,810 --> 00:50:50,200 Oh, God. 1309 00:50:50,410 --> 00:50:52,040 Ma'am? Kobe squirt? No, thanks. 1310 00:50:52,210 --> 00:50:53,210 Thank you. 1311 00:50:53,970 --> 00:50:55,400 It's actually pretty tasty. 1312 00:50:55,570 --> 00:50:58,560 Anyway, she saw all these young programmers getting rich. 1313 00:50:58,730 --> 00:51:01,290 So she basically forced Laird 1314 00:51:01,450 --> 00:51:05,400 to spend his entire childhood inside, learning computers. 1315 00:51:06,570 --> 00:51:09,240 I think that's kind of sad, right? 1316 00:51:19,850 --> 00:51:21,280 He ate it. Hmm. 1317 00:51:22,650 --> 00:51:24,120 He's an octopus. 1318 00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:26,120 That kid is wrapping his tentacles 1319 00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:27,960 around every member of this family. 1320 00:51:28,130 --> 00:51:29,480 He's manipulating you. 1321 00:51:29,650 --> 00:51:31,950 Darling, we need to bring this down a notch. 1322 00:51:32,130 --> 00:51:34,280 Okay? You think you're at war with Laird. 1323 00:51:34,450 --> 00:51:37,120 But he's not fighting. It's just you. 1324 00:51:37,650 --> 00:51:38,940 Come on, let's go meet his friends. 1325 00:51:38,970 --> 00:51:40,000 They look darling. 1326 00:51:40,210 --> 00:51:41,800 Oh, God. 1327 00:51:41,970 --> 00:51:44,920 Totally tanked porting the thin-client apps for the JDK build. 1328 00:51:45,130 --> 00:51:46,500 The fuck? So you had to rewrite all the code? 1329 00:51:46,530 --> 00:51:48,520 Mm-hmm. By myself. 1330 00:51:48,690 --> 00:51:50,880 But did you do it? Oh, you know I did! 1331 00:51:51,050 --> 00:51:52,440 Hey, there they are! Hi. 1332 00:51:52,610 --> 00:51:53,610 Looking like a babe. 1333 00:51:53,770 --> 00:51:54,830 Look who's looking sharp. 1334 00:51:55,010 --> 00:51:56,280 Okay! Hello! 1335 00:51:56,450 --> 00:51:58,770 Tyson, these are Stephanie's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Fleming. 1336 00:51:58,850 --> 00:52:00,840 Oh, no. Barb and Ned, please. 1337 00:52:01,010 --> 00:52:02,720 So it was fucked up, man. 1338 00:52:02,890 --> 00:52:04,480 It took me two weeks 1339 00:52:04,610 --> 00:52:06,320 on the J2EE database... 1340 00:52:06,530 --> 00:52:08,660 trying to get the interface to react with the server... 1341 00:52:08,690 --> 00:52:10,680 so I can get the containers up and running again. 1342 00:52:10,850 --> 00:52:15,160 I'm sorry. Tyson, what's a J2EE? 1343 00:52:15,370 --> 00:52:17,200 Java 2 Platform Enterprise Edition. 1344 00:52:17,410 --> 00:52:18,680 Do you not write code? Sorry. 1345 00:52:18,850 --> 00:52:20,320 This guy's the worst. Yeah. 1346 00:52:20,490 --> 00:52:22,610 I'm actually more of a personal relations kind of guy. 1347 00:52:22,690 --> 00:52:25,250 Like account management, client services. That kind of stuff. 1348 00:52:25,410 --> 00:52:27,040 Dude, this kid is fucking awesome. 1349 00:52:27,210 --> 00:52:30,640 Yes, Ned is grooming Scotty to take over our family business. 1350 00:52:30,810 --> 00:52:31,810 That's right. 1351 00:52:31,850 --> 00:52:33,520 We own a printing business in Michigan. 1352 00:52:33,690 --> 00:52:34,900 Really? I'm sure you're familiar 1353 00:52:34,930 --> 00:52:36,250 with those two siblings over there 1354 00:52:36,370 --> 00:52:38,040 since you're in the printing business. 1355 00:52:38,210 --> 00:52:40,480 Yo, brother-sister act! You gotta meet this guy. 1356 00:52:40,570 --> 00:52:41,570 Hello! 1357 00:52:41,730 --> 00:52:43,400 Hey! Blaine and Missy Pederman. 1358 00:52:43,570 --> 00:52:44,710 Hi, I'm Barb Fleming. 1359 00:52:44,890 --> 00:52:46,200 This is my husband. Ned. 1360 00:52:46,370 --> 00:52:48,830 I'm Scott Fleming. Nice to meet you. 1361 00:52:49,010 --> 00:52:50,680 I'm sorry, we were told we might know you, 1362 00:52:50,770 --> 00:52:52,040 but I'm afraid we don't. 1363 00:52:52,210 --> 00:52:54,720 Blaine and Missy started Stamp Free Invites. 1364 00:52:56,570 --> 00:52:58,400 Oh, okay. 1365 00:52:58,570 --> 00:52:59,710 Right. 1366 00:52:59,890 --> 00:53:00,890 What's up? 1367 00:53:01,050 --> 00:53:02,420 Did the server forget to send a reminder 1368 00:53:02,450 --> 00:53:04,280 for your birthday party or something? 1369 00:53:04,450 --> 00:53:07,400 No, he is actually in the printing business. 1370 00:53:08,250 --> 00:53:09,720 Oh, shit. Whoops. 1371 00:53:09,850 --> 00:53:10,850 No, no. 1372 00:53:10,890 --> 00:53:12,220 We didn't put you out of business or anything? 1373 00:53:12,250 --> 00:53:13,250 No. 1374 00:53:13,370 --> 00:53:15,640 What? Ruin our business? No, no. 1375 00:53:15,730 --> 00:53:17,480 We're doing quite well. Thank you. 1376 00:53:17,570 --> 00:53:18,600 Oh, that's great! 1377 00:53:18,730 --> 00:53:20,100 Good for you! Honestly, good for you. 1378 00:53:20,130 --> 00:53:21,800 We love little mom-and-pop printers. 1379 00:53:21,930 --> 00:53:24,040 So inspirational. So important. Mm-hmm. 1380 00:53:24,130 --> 00:53:25,560 My dad has more of a factory. 1381 00:53:25,770 --> 00:53:27,100 Not to brag, but we're a pretty big shop. 1382 00:53:27,130 --> 00:53:28,900 People need paper. They need something to write on. 1383 00:53:28,930 --> 00:53:30,620 They love the feel of that card stock in their hands. 1384 00:53:30,650 --> 00:53:31,650 Yeah. 1385 00:53:31,770 --> 00:53:33,600 I've never heard anyone say that. 1386 00:53:33,730 --> 00:53:36,290 Hmm. We have not found that at all. 1387 00:53:36,450 --> 00:53:37,590 Yeah. Nope. 1388 00:53:37,770 --> 00:53:39,380 I think we come from two different worlds. 1389 00:53:39,410 --> 00:53:40,440 Yes, we do. 1390 00:53:40,610 --> 00:53:43,600 You better start learning code pretty fucking fast, dude. 1391 00:53:43,770 --> 00:53:45,040 Dude, Ned was crushing it 1392 00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:47,760 since before you two were fighting over your mother's titties. 1393 00:53:48,250 --> 00:53:49,690 Our mom didn't breastfeed us. 1394 00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:51,480 Laird, you know we had a wet nurse. 1395 00:53:51,650 --> 00:53:52,650 Oh, I can tell. 1396 00:53:53,450 --> 00:53:55,140 Boy, I'll tell you, I don't know what's going on. 1397 00:53:55,170 --> 00:53:56,170 I'm lost. 1398 00:53:56,290 --> 00:53:57,560 I'm overwhelmed. Yeah! Me, too. 1399 00:53:57,730 --> 00:53:59,600 There's bukkake floating all around me. 1400 00:53:59,810 --> 00:54:00,840 What? Hm? 1401 00:54:01,010 --> 00:54:02,120 What's bukkake? 1402 00:54:02,290 --> 00:54:03,320 Oh, Laird told me. 1403 00:54:03,490 --> 00:54:05,000 It means when you're overwhelmed 1404 00:54:05,130 --> 00:54:06,330 and you got too much going on. 1405 00:54:06,450 --> 00:54:08,160 Oh, my gosh. Can't figure things out. 1406 00:54:08,330 --> 00:54:10,630 Then, I'm drowning in bukkake at this point. 1407 00:54:10,810 --> 00:54:11,940 Okay, I'm gonna be real with you guys. 1408 00:54:11,970 --> 00:54:13,050 It means jizz on your face. 1409 00:54:14,490 --> 00:54:15,490 I'm sorry? 1410 00:54:15,650 --> 00:54:17,000 Bukkake means covered in jizz. 1411 00:54:17,170 --> 00:54:18,360 Tons of jizz, ejaculate. 1412 00:54:18,530 --> 00:54:19,920 Usually after a gangbang. 1413 00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:21,310 Not as bad as it sounds. 1414 00:54:21,490 --> 00:54:22,680 Yeah, post-gangbang. 1415 00:54:22,850 --> 00:54:25,600 Or during. Depends if someone finishes early. 1416 00:54:25,810 --> 00:54:26,870 What the heck? 1417 00:54:26,970 --> 00:54:28,180 I was trying to protect you, dude. 1418 00:54:28,210 --> 00:54:29,800 - Protect me? - Fucking Justine. 1419 00:54:29,970 --> 00:54:31,110 You mean embarrass me? 1420 00:54:31,290 --> 00:54:32,620 It was a really sensitive conversation. 1421 00:54:32,650 --> 00:54:33,660 I didn't want to start talking 1422 00:54:33,690 --> 00:54:34,780 about guys jerking off on each other. 1423 00:54:34,810 --> 00:54:36,300 Why'd you tell me it was overwhelming? 1424 00:54:36,330 --> 00:54:37,470 Justine brought it up! 1425 00:54:37,650 --> 00:54:40,160 I hope this is an opportune time to show a video. 1426 00:54:40,330 --> 00:54:41,330 It's not. 1427 00:54:41,370 --> 00:54:42,640 - Oh, God! - Yeah. 1428 00:54:42,850 --> 00:54:44,480 Oh, and this is a teaching moment. 1429 00:54:44,650 --> 00:54:45,960 - Here's another. - Oh, my God. 1430 00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:47,300 - No. Scotty. - Don't look at that. 1431 00:54:47,330 --> 00:54:49,120 It's all good. You don't have to see this. 1432 00:54:49,290 --> 00:54:50,840 Is that you? 1433 00:54:54,330 --> 00:54:55,360 No. 1434 00:54:55,570 --> 00:54:56,790 Oh, my God. 1435 00:55:06,330 --> 00:55:07,960 We alive right now, now 1436 00:55:09,690 --> 00:55:11,000 Let's get hot right now 1437 00:55:11,570 --> 00:55:13,440 We don't give a damn about money 1438 00:55:13,530 --> 00:55:14,880 We alive right now 1439 00:55:15,370 --> 00:55:17,280 All we do is party, party 1440 00:55:17,370 --> 00:55:18,480 And get hot right now 1441 00:55:24,690 --> 00:55:26,040 Are you okay? 1442 00:55:26,650 --> 00:55:28,920 Yeah! 1443 00:55:29,090 --> 00:55:30,520 Come on, Daddy. You're okay! 1444 00:55:30,730 --> 00:55:32,520 Okay, I just need to take a breather. One... 1445 00:55:34,370 --> 00:55:35,560 Do it again... 1446 00:55:35,730 --> 00:55:37,280 Lost my mind, I'm a lose it again 1447 00:55:37,370 --> 00:55:39,000 I love this kid. 1448 00:55:39,170 --> 00:55:41,360 Oh, my God! 1449 00:55:41,570 --> 00:55:43,000 Rage, rage the night away 1450 00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:44,680 Forget about the money I spent today 1451 00:55:44,890 --> 00:55:46,480 Rage, rage the night away 1452 00:55:46,570 --> 00:55:49,360 DDT your ass. I love you, dawg. 1453 00:55:50,450 --> 00:55:52,400 Forget about the money I spent today 1454 00:56:10,090 --> 00:56:11,200 Hi, Pops. 1455 00:56:12,810 --> 00:56:14,330 I just need some fresh air. Can I come? 1456 00:56:23,130 --> 00:56:25,720 We've always been straight with each other, haven't we? 1457 00:56:25,890 --> 00:56:26,890 Yeah, of course. 1458 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:28,300 Okay, I need to ask you a question. 1459 00:56:28,330 --> 00:56:29,440 And I mean this honestly. 1460 00:56:29,610 --> 00:56:30,800 Okay. What? 1461 00:56:30,970 --> 00:56:31,970 You're scaring me. 1462 00:56:32,050 --> 00:56:33,110 No. It's just... 1463 00:56:34,330 --> 00:56:35,330 What? 1464 00:56:36,410 --> 00:56:37,600 Why Laird? 1465 00:56:37,770 --> 00:56:39,120 I mean, come on. Oh, my God. 1466 00:56:39,290 --> 00:56:40,880 Why? Dad. 1467 00:56:41,090 --> 00:56:43,080 You are so smart and you're beautiful. 1468 00:56:43,250 --> 00:56:45,440 You could be dating anyone. Why? 1469 00:56:45,610 --> 00:56:46,970 I don't get it. You want the truth? 1470 00:56:47,090 --> 00:56:48,230 Yes. 1471 00:56:48,770 --> 00:56:50,600 He kind of reminds me of you. 1472 00:56:52,130 --> 00:56:53,130 What? 1473 00:56:54,290 --> 00:56:55,430 Me? Yes. 1474 00:56:55,650 --> 00:56:57,360 Okay, I need you to explain that one. 1475 00:56:57,450 --> 00:56:58,450 How? 1476 00:56:58,610 --> 00:57:01,120 You're both the most honest and authentic men that I know. 1477 00:57:01,290 --> 00:57:02,740 It comes out in totally different ways. 1478 00:57:02,770 --> 00:57:03,770 Oh, well... 1479 00:57:03,850 --> 00:57:05,280 Laird has literally no filter. 1480 00:57:05,490 --> 00:57:08,000 I don't know that to be true. Is that right? 1481 00:57:08,170 --> 00:57:09,680 Okay. Sorry. 1482 00:57:09,850 --> 00:57:11,800 Trying to help you out here. 1483 00:57:12,090 --> 00:57:14,800 But I swear his heart is always in the right place. 1484 00:57:17,650 --> 00:57:19,320 He's a very good guy. 1485 00:57:20,370 --> 00:57:21,800 And I love him. 1486 00:57:26,850 --> 00:57:27,850 You love him? 1487 00:57:33,690 --> 00:57:34,960 What? 1488 00:57:35,850 --> 00:57:37,200 I'm processing. 1489 00:57:37,370 --> 00:57:38,530 We had the... Very funny, Dad. 1490 00:57:40,330 --> 00:57:42,120 Okay. Okay. 1491 00:57:42,890 --> 00:57:44,520 Just try to be cordial. 1492 00:57:44,690 --> 00:57:45,720 I will. I'll try. 1493 00:57:45,890 --> 00:57:47,560 Okay? I'll try. Try to what? 1494 00:57:47,730 --> 00:57:49,360 I'll try to just... 1495 00:57:50,690 --> 00:57:55,000 ...understand that person better. 1496 00:57:57,690 --> 00:57:58,690 Come here. 1497 00:58:09,690 --> 00:58:10,720 Hey. 1498 00:58:12,690 --> 00:58:13,690 Hi. 1499 00:58:13,770 --> 00:58:16,680 Long night. What are you doing? 1500 00:58:18,090 --> 00:58:19,560 Just chilling. 1501 00:58:20,570 --> 00:58:22,600 Barb, is that my shirt? 1502 00:58:22,770 --> 00:58:24,680 I don't know, is it? 1503 00:58:24,850 --> 00:58:26,400 Want me to take it off? 1504 00:58:26,570 --> 00:58:29,080 Would you, please? I only brought two dress shirts. 1505 00:58:29,250 --> 00:58:30,520 I really don't feel like ironing 1506 00:58:30,610 --> 00:58:32,040 while I'm on this trip. 1507 00:58:33,890 --> 00:58:35,520 I'm so exhausted. 1508 00:58:37,530 --> 00:58:38,590 Oh, yeah. 1509 00:58:38,770 --> 00:58:40,080 Take it off, baby. 1510 00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:43,680 Yeah! Take it off. Take off those shoes, girl. 1511 00:58:43,850 --> 00:58:47,120 Let me see those feet. I wanna see those feet! 1512 00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:48,650 Did you hit your head or something? 1513 00:58:48,770 --> 00:58:51,070 Yeah. Let me smell that shoe. 1514 00:58:51,210 --> 00:58:52,220 You don't wanna smell my shoe. 1515 00:58:52,250 --> 00:58:53,250 Yeah, I want feet! 1516 00:58:53,370 --> 00:58:55,400 I want those feet out of those socks. 1517 00:58:55,570 --> 00:58:56,880 Barb, what happened to you? 1518 00:58:57,050 --> 00:58:58,920 I am so stoned right now. 1519 00:58:59,050 --> 00:59:00,050 What? 1520 00:59:00,210 --> 00:59:02,280 Yeah, I am so baked. 1521 00:59:02,450 --> 00:59:04,240 I am like super baked. 1522 00:59:04,410 --> 00:59:06,600 Barb. What? Where did you? 1523 00:59:06,770 --> 00:59:09,400 I was very lonely after you guys left. 1524 00:59:09,570 --> 00:59:13,880 And I saw this guy, and he had a cigarette. 1525 00:59:14,050 --> 00:59:16,480 I thought it was one of those electronic cigarettes. 1526 00:59:16,650 --> 00:59:17,710 They're called E-cigs. 1527 00:59:17,810 --> 00:59:18,810 Yeah. 1528 00:59:18,970 --> 00:59:20,760 But turns out... 1529 00:59:20,930 --> 00:59:22,760 I was vaping. 1530 00:59:22,930 --> 00:59:23,960 What? 1531 00:59:24,170 --> 00:59:25,440 I was vaping. 1532 00:59:25,610 --> 00:59:26,610 What is that? 1533 00:59:26,770 --> 00:59:29,720 It's marijuana that comes out of some kind of machine. 1534 00:59:29,930 --> 00:59:31,600 Keep your voice down! Ned, it's legal. 1535 00:59:31,770 --> 00:59:34,600 Oh, this poor boy had it for sleep apnea. 1536 00:59:34,810 --> 00:59:37,600 At his age? So sad. I'm going to bed. That's it. 1537 00:59:37,810 --> 00:59:39,680 No, no, no. Wait! 1538 00:59:39,850 --> 00:59:41,100 - Barbara, I'm tired. - Wait a minute. 1539 00:59:41,130 --> 00:59:42,130 And I've got a headache. 1540 00:59:42,290 --> 00:59:44,280 Let's play a little bit, huh? No, no. 1541 00:59:44,450 --> 00:59:46,600 I'll give you one of my patented massages. 1542 00:59:46,690 --> 00:59:48,080 Barb. Let's take the Little Cheese 1543 00:59:48,170 --> 00:59:49,280 out for a spin. No, no, no. 1544 00:59:49,450 --> 00:59:50,850 Come on, let me just see him. Don't. 1545 00:59:50,970 --> 00:59:52,580 I just want to see him. Don't call him that. 1546 00:59:52,610 --> 00:59:53,670 Please. Come on. 1547 00:59:53,850 --> 00:59:54,880 Oh, my God! 1548 00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:57,530 You used to love getting high and fooling around. 1549 00:59:57,690 --> 00:59:59,080 What? Barb! No, Barb. 1550 00:59:59,290 --> 01:00:00,980 We're on vacation! But someone could walk... 1551 01:00:01,010 --> 01:00:02,480 There's no locks on the door! 1552 01:00:02,650 --> 01:00:03,650 What? 1553 01:00:03,810 --> 01:00:06,520 Justine! Do you have any Kiss? 1554 01:00:06,690 --> 01:00:08,320 Oh, hell yeah! 1555 01:00:08,490 --> 01:00:09,800 Are you kids gonna do it? Yes. 1556 01:00:10,010 --> 01:00:12,160 No. We're doing it already. 1557 01:00:12,330 --> 01:00:13,600 We're doing it right now. Barb! 1558 01:00:13,770 --> 01:00:15,170 I'm doing it with my feet. One foot. 1559 01:00:15,210 --> 01:00:17,320 That's Kiss! Honey, you love Kiss! 1560 01:00:17,490 --> 01:00:18,880 But not right now. 1561 01:00:21,690 --> 01:00:25,310 Ned was made for loving Barb 1562 01:00:25,490 --> 01:00:26,520 Yell! 1563 01:00:31,290 --> 01:00:32,920 Yeah. Yeah. 1564 01:00:33,010 --> 01:00:34,100 Look what I learned at the party. 1565 01:00:34,130 --> 01:00:35,130 What? 1566 01:00:35,210 --> 01:00:37,530 There was this real cute girl, and she was going like this. 1567 01:00:39,250 --> 01:00:41,000 She was doing this cute, new dance. 1568 01:00:41,210 --> 01:00:42,840 You're gonna throw your back out. 1569 01:00:43,010 --> 01:00:44,640 I'm not gonna throw my... 1570 01:00:44,810 --> 01:00:45,870 I'll throw you out. 1571 01:00:46,090 --> 01:00:47,770 Let me get on you. Wait, do you smell that? 1572 01:00:47,810 --> 01:00:49,400 I'm putting him in. What is that scent? 1573 01:00:49,570 --> 01:00:50,710 There. Oh, it's in. 1574 01:00:52,850 --> 01:00:54,520 What is that? Oh, my God. 1575 01:00:54,690 --> 01:00:55,720 Oh, my God! 1576 01:00:55,930 --> 01:00:58,880 Is that Indian Summer by Priscilla Presley? 1577 01:00:59,050 --> 01:01:01,200 I used to wear that perfume in the 90s. 1578 01:01:01,370 --> 01:01:03,200 Yup, pumping some in. 1579 01:01:03,370 --> 01:01:06,080 I saw you mentioned it on your college reunion's Facebook page. 1580 01:01:06,250 --> 01:01:07,880 I know what you like, Ned. 1581 01:01:08,050 --> 01:01:09,920 Oh, I know you do, dawg. 1582 01:01:10,090 --> 01:01:12,320 Yeah, get in there. Get it! 1583 01:01:12,530 --> 01:01:14,000 Barb! Get you some! 1584 01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:15,920 Get it! Good. Oh, that's... Okay. 1585 01:01:16,090 --> 01:01:17,560 Yeah. You're almost in there. 1586 01:01:17,730 --> 01:01:19,560 No, you're, like, six inches away from it. 1587 01:01:19,730 --> 01:01:22,000 Get in there. Yeah, that's the spirit. 1588 01:01:22,210 --> 01:01:23,720 Barb. Oh! Yeah! 1589 01:01:23,890 --> 01:01:24,890 Barb! That's good. 1590 01:01:25,050 --> 01:01:26,880 Oh, that's good. You're getting into it now. 1591 01:01:27,090 --> 01:01:28,200 - That's it! - No! 1592 01:01:28,370 --> 01:01:30,440 No, no! Take me! Yes! Take me! 1593 01:01:30,610 --> 01:01:31,670 I'm not... Take me. 1594 01:01:31,850 --> 01:01:33,740 I'm taking you right to bed. That's what I'm doing. 1595 01:01:33,770 --> 01:01:35,040 Here you go. Yes. 1596 01:01:35,130 --> 01:01:36,240 No, I wanna do sex. 1597 01:01:36,410 --> 01:01:37,740 We are not gonna do sex. No, honey. 1598 01:01:37,770 --> 01:01:38,880 But I want to. 1599 01:01:39,050 --> 01:01:40,340 Justine, turn all the music off please... 1600 01:01:40,370 --> 01:01:41,400 I wanna do it. 1601 01:01:41,570 --> 01:01:43,100 ...and leave us alone for the rest of the night. 1602 01:01:43,130 --> 01:01:44,350 It's gonna be full penetration! 1603 01:01:44,530 --> 01:01:45,750 Would you stop! 1604 01:01:49,850 --> 01:01:51,600 Psst... Hey, girl. 1605 01:01:52,210 --> 01:01:53,600 Fifth button from the right. 1606 01:01:54,770 --> 01:01:56,240 You'll thank me later. 1607 01:02:10,410 --> 01:02:12,730 Mama, won't you please let me Mama, won't you please let me 1608 01:02:12,770 --> 01:02:13,960 Mmm... 1609 01:02:14,130 --> 01:02:15,290 Mama, won't you please let me 1610 01:02:25,090 --> 01:02:27,360 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1611 01:02:27,450 --> 01:02:29,800 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1612 01:02:29,970 --> 01:02:32,270 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1613 01:02:32,450 --> 01:02:34,800 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1614 01:02:34,930 --> 01:02:37,280 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1615 01:02:37,450 --> 01:02:39,640 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1616 01:02:39,810 --> 01:02:42,110 Mama do the hump mama do the hump hump 1617 01:02:42,290 --> 01:02:44,590 Mama won't you please let me do the hump hump 1618 01:02:52,810 --> 01:02:54,000 There we go, girls. 1619 01:03:30,410 --> 01:03:31,410 Oh! 1620 01:03:32,370 --> 01:03:33,510 Okay. You all right? 1621 01:03:33,690 --> 01:03:35,200 Yeah. Oh, man. 1622 01:03:35,370 --> 01:03:36,400 That's it. 1623 01:03:36,570 --> 01:03:37,820 Dude, I thought I was gonna make it. 1624 01:03:37,850 --> 01:03:39,360 I know. You almost did, but... 1625 01:03:40,170 --> 01:03:41,560 Very good evasive parkour. 1626 01:03:41,690 --> 01:03:43,360 Yes, but the last move you ate shit. 1627 01:03:43,530 --> 01:03:44,640 I know. 1628 01:03:44,850 --> 01:03:46,060 I'll put you on the table later 1629 01:03:46,090 --> 01:03:47,370 and we'll do a little adjustment. 1630 01:04:00,210 --> 01:04:01,560 Ah! 1631 01:04:02,050 --> 01:04:05,400 Christmas tree shopping with the Big Cheese. 1632 01:04:05,570 --> 01:04:07,720 Ned, you don't know how excited I am about this. 1633 01:04:07,890 --> 01:04:09,840 I don't know if I ever mentioned this, 1634 01:04:10,010 --> 01:04:12,170 but I never had a father to do this kind of stuff with. 1635 01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:14,550 I'm glad we're getting a chance to hang out. 1636 01:04:15,570 --> 01:04:16,600 That's nice. 1637 01:04:17,890 --> 01:04:19,720 Uh, it's not getting me hard. 1638 01:04:20,690 --> 01:04:23,040 You need an erection to buy a Christmas tree? 1639 01:04:23,610 --> 01:04:24,610 Helps. 1640 01:04:26,570 --> 01:04:27,920 I wanna get to know you better. 1641 01:04:28,090 --> 01:04:29,400 I mean, you're so perfect. 1642 01:04:29,570 --> 01:04:32,320 Seriously, did you always have your shit together? 1643 01:04:32,410 --> 01:04:33,410 Oh, heck no. 1644 01:04:33,530 --> 01:04:35,280 I got fired selling Datsuns. 1645 01:04:37,370 --> 01:04:39,750 How'd you fuck up selling little dogs? 1646 01:04:40,930 --> 01:04:42,920 No. Datsuns. 1647 01:04:43,610 --> 01:04:44,640 What's that? 1648 01:04:44,730 --> 01:04:45,870 It's a car. Doesn't matter. 1649 01:04:46,050 --> 01:04:47,320 It doesn't exist anymore. 1650 01:04:47,490 --> 01:04:48,960 But you're still here. 1651 01:04:50,650 --> 01:04:53,800 You ever get nervous about shifting tides? 1652 01:04:53,970 --> 01:04:57,590 Well, you know, every business has its ups and downs. 1653 01:04:57,770 --> 01:04:59,320 Yeah, I know it, bro. 1654 01:04:59,490 --> 01:05:01,950 Guerrilla Gang, it's been struggling a little bit. 1655 01:05:02,770 --> 01:05:04,120 Really? 1656 01:05:04,290 --> 01:05:06,560 Yeah, it's just a fucking tough landscape, dude. 1657 01:05:08,330 --> 01:05:10,480 What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 1658 01:05:11,770 --> 01:05:13,440 Whoa. 1659 01:05:14,170 --> 01:05:16,630 Chills. Did you come up with that? 1660 01:05:17,810 --> 01:05:19,120 No, Laird. 1661 01:05:21,290 --> 01:05:22,290 Whoa, whoa. 1662 01:05:23,690 --> 01:05:25,000 There she blows, Ned. 1663 01:05:25,530 --> 01:05:27,160 It's our motherfucking tree. 1664 01:05:27,370 --> 01:05:29,600 Why not? It'll look great opposite your moose. 1665 01:05:30,330 --> 01:05:32,360 Ned, Ned. Not that one. 1666 01:05:33,770 --> 01:05:34,960 That one. 1667 01:05:38,210 --> 01:05:39,920 Oh, no. See, Laird... 1668 01:05:40,130 --> 01:05:41,480 that doesn't belong to this lot. 1669 01:05:41,650 --> 01:05:42,650 See, it's owned by... 1670 01:05:42,810 --> 01:05:44,640 Wet games? Wewt Games. 1671 01:05:44,810 --> 01:05:46,030 Like, 'woot-woot'. 1672 01:05:46,170 --> 01:05:47,600 I know those dudes. They're dicks. 1673 01:05:47,770 --> 01:05:49,360 Tried to rip off Ape Assassins. 1674 01:05:49,530 --> 01:05:51,800 Plus, it's the first Christmas with the family, dude. 1675 01:05:51,970 --> 01:05:52,970 Gotta do it right. 1676 01:05:53,130 --> 01:05:54,130 Hey, buddy. 1677 01:05:54,170 --> 01:05:55,170 Yeah. 1678 01:05:55,290 --> 01:05:56,640 Can I borrow that chainsaw? 1679 01:05:56,810 --> 01:05:57,840 Are you serious? 1680 01:05:58,490 --> 01:05:59,490 Yeah. 1681 01:06:00,330 --> 01:06:02,160 Fucking... 1682 01:06:02,890 --> 01:06:04,000 Come on. 1683 01:06:05,690 --> 01:06:06,830 Will you hurry up? 1684 01:06:07,010 --> 01:06:08,520 I'm trying. 1685 01:06:08,690 --> 01:06:10,990 Come on, guy. I need my chainsaw back. 1686 01:06:11,170 --> 01:06:12,520 Just give me a second. 1687 01:06:12,690 --> 01:06:13,930 Should we call an ambulance now, 1688 01:06:14,010 --> 01:06:15,360 or wait till he loses a finger? 1689 01:06:17,370 --> 01:06:18,510 Can I borrow those? 1690 01:06:19,490 --> 01:06:20,630 Have at it. 1691 01:06:21,410 --> 01:06:22,720 Okay. Laird just... 1692 01:06:22,890 --> 01:06:23,950 Okay. 1693 01:06:24,050 --> 01:06:25,050 Hand it over? 1694 01:06:25,170 --> 01:06:26,200 You sure, Ned? Yup. 1695 01:06:31,770 --> 01:06:33,480 Oh! 1696 01:06:34,010 --> 01:06:35,880 Total fucking Dad move! 1697 01:06:48,050 --> 01:06:51,750 Oh, shit! 1698 01:06:51,890 --> 01:06:54,450 You keep on dancing and the room gets hot 1699 01:06:55,050 --> 01:06:58,280 You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy 1700 01:07:01,130 --> 01:07:05,360 I wanna rock and roll all night... 1701 01:07:06,450 --> 01:07:08,200 Love Kiss! 1702 01:07:09,770 --> 01:07:11,240 Kiss, baby! 1703 01:07:11,410 --> 01:07:12,800 These guys are awesome! 1704 01:07:12,970 --> 01:07:15,600 Stephanie and I do karaoke to Kiss all the time. 1705 01:07:15,810 --> 01:07:17,760 Dude, I know, that's why I put it on! 1706 01:07:17,930 --> 01:07:19,760 And we do a pretty good job, too, 1707 01:07:19,930 --> 01:07:21,070 if I might say so. Oh, man. 1708 01:07:21,610 --> 01:07:23,200 That's cute. Yeah. 1709 01:07:25,050 --> 01:07:27,560 Listen, Laird, I've been thinking about 1710 01:07:27,650 --> 01:07:29,240 our teepee talk yesterday. 1711 01:07:29,450 --> 01:07:30,920 Oh, dude, me too. 1712 01:07:31,090 --> 01:07:32,920 I've got so many ideas for the proposal. 1713 01:07:33,090 --> 01:07:34,920 No. No. Ned, hear me out. 1714 01:07:35,090 --> 01:07:37,280 I was thinking about getting the Goodyear blimp, 1715 01:07:37,450 --> 01:07:38,530 releasing a thousand doves. 1716 01:07:38,610 --> 01:07:39,640 No. Wait. 1717 01:07:39,810 --> 01:07:41,170 Laird, just hold on a second, okay? 1718 01:07:41,290 --> 01:07:42,290 Slow down. Okay. 1719 01:07:42,770 --> 01:07:46,080 Look, I get it that Stephanie really likes you. 1720 01:07:46,250 --> 01:07:47,250 But... Uh-huh. 1721 01:07:47,890 --> 01:07:49,600 Look. Man to man. Yeah. 1722 01:07:49,770 --> 01:07:52,330 Now is not the time. 1723 01:07:52,490 --> 01:07:55,560 Dude, Ned, I thought we were getting past all that. 1724 01:07:55,770 --> 01:07:57,120 No, it's not me. 1725 01:07:57,290 --> 01:07:58,430 It's all about Stephanie. 1726 01:07:58,610 --> 01:07:59,670 Stephanie? Yes. 1727 01:07:59,810 --> 01:08:00,810 I don't know, dude. 1728 01:08:00,970 --> 01:08:03,960 These last few semesters are gonna be so intense. 1729 01:08:04,130 --> 01:08:05,600 And then there's graduation, 1730 01:08:05,690 --> 01:08:06,960 and she'll be looking for a job. 1731 01:08:07,130 --> 01:08:08,650 And who knows where that will take her. 1732 01:08:08,810 --> 01:08:10,320 It's just... All right, Ned... 1733 01:08:10,530 --> 01:08:11,780 I wasn't supposed to tell you this, 1734 01:08:11,810 --> 01:08:13,520 but I just wanna put your mind at ease. 1735 01:08:15,290 --> 01:08:18,120 Stephanie is not going back to school next semester. 1736 01:08:19,810 --> 01:08:20,810 What? 1737 01:08:21,210 --> 01:08:24,910 Dude, I know you're probably shocked, but do not worry. 1738 01:08:25,130 --> 01:08:26,800 She's already got this awesome job 1739 01:08:26,890 --> 01:08:28,480 lined up at this non-profit. 1740 01:08:29,810 --> 01:08:32,000 What organization is that exactly? 1741 01:08:33,210 --> 01:08:36,830 She's going to be president of the Laird Mayhew Foundation. 1742 01:08:41,730 --> 01:08:43,200 That's me. 1743 01:08:45,010 --> 01:08:46,150 Stephanie! 1744 01:08:46,330 --> 01:08:47,330 Barb? 1745 01:08:47,530 --> 01:08:50,040 Everybody upstairs right now, family meeting! 1746 01:08:50,290 --> 01:08:51,860 Ned, would you like me to schedule a meeting? 1747 01:08:51,890 --> 01:08:52,920 Oh, fuck off! 1748 01:08:53,010 --> 01:08:54,010 Just trying to help. 1749 01:08:54,050 --> 01:08:55,540 You don't always have to be such an asshole. 1750 01:08:55,570 --> 01:08:56,790 Yes, I do! 1751 01:08:57,530 --> 01:08:59,360 Dad. You are so dead. 1752 01:08:59,530 --> 01:09:01,960 Shut up. Of course I was going to tell you. 1753 01:09:02,170 --> 01:09:03,640 I told Mom yesterday at the mall. 1754 01:09:03,810 --> 01:09:05,820 I was just waiting for the right time to bring it up 1755 01:09:05,850 --> 01:09:07,180 and that hasn't happened. Wait a minute. 1756 01:09:07,210 --> 01:09:08,210 You knew? 1757 01:09:08,330 --> 01:09:12,360 Honestly, honey, we thought you might freak out. 1758 01:09:12,530 --> 01:09:14,400 So we decided to wait until 1759 01:09:14,530 --> 01:09:16,720 after Christmas to bring it up. 1760 01:09:16,930 --> 01:09:18,930 But, okay, he told you about the foundation, right? 1761 01:09:19,090 --> 01:09:20,840 Yes. Yes, okay. 1762 01:09:21,010 --> 01:09:22,340 This is a big part of why I wanted you 1763 01:09:22,370 --> 01:09:24,400 to come out here and meet Laird. 1764 01:09:25,370 --> 01:09:28,910 Stephanie, even if he wasn't this abject lunatic, 1765 01:09:29,090 --> 01:09:30,200 which he is, 1766 01:09:30,370 --> 01:09:33,240 I still wouldn't understand why. 1767 01:09:33,450 --> 01:09:34,920 You've only got a few semesters left 1768 01:09:35,050 --> 01:09:36,160 before you graduate. 1769 01:09:36,370 --> 01:09:38,040 Why would you just throw that away? 1770 01:09:38,210 --> 01:09:39,540 I'm not throwing anything away, Dad. 1771 01:09:39,570 --> 01:09:40,700 The year I spent in Central America 1772 01:09:40,730 --> 01:09:42,040 doing this kind of work, 1773 01:09:43,090 --> 01:09:46,400 I know you think that I'm making some rash decision 1774 01:09:46,570 --> 01:09:47,570 and I'm not. 1775 01:09:47,730 --> 01:09:50,080 We've spent months figuring it out. 1776 01:09:50,250 --> 01:09:51,470 All the months 1777 01:09:51,570 --> 01:09:53,680 where you didn't even tell us you had a boyfriend. 1778 01:09:53,850 --> 01:09:54,850 All those months? 1779 01:09:55,290 --> 01:09:56,720 Darling... 1780 01:09:56,930 --> 01:09:58,400 I think you should hear her out 1781 01:09:58,570 --> 01:10:00,920 because it actually sounds very interesting. 1782 01:10:01,050 --> 01:10:02,050 Does it? 1783 01:10:02,090 --> 01:10:04,080 Are you willing to listen to me? 1784 01:10:04,250 --> 01:10:05,250 Give it your best shot. 1785 01:10:06,090 --> 01:10:08,760 The plan is to focus on women's health 1786 01:10:08,930 --> 01:10:10,740 as a function of environmental change in the Third World. 1787 01:10:10,770 --> 01:10:11,770 Right. All right. 1788 01:10:11,810 --> 01:10:12,940 And when all that goes belly-up, 1789 01:10:12,970 --> 01:10:14,170 you know what you're left with? 1790 01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:16,240 What? Being a college dropout. 1791 01:10:16,450 --> 01:10:17,920 That's it. You don't get it. 1792 01:10:18,090 --> 01:10:19,090 Oh, I don't get it? 1793 01:10:19,250 --> 01:10:20,920 No, you just, like, don't get it at all. 1794 01:10:21,290 --> 01:10:22,760 Oh. What is that? 1795 01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:25,390 It's a tattoo. 1796 01:10:25,570 --> 01:10:26,920 With his name? You got a tattoo? 1797 01:10:27,130 --> 01:10:29,080 You've marked your body with his name on it. 1798 01:10:29,250 --> 01:10:30,310 Look at that, Barb! 1799 01:10:30,490 --> 01:10:31,920 Oh, no. 1800 01:10:32,130 --> 01:10:33,800 That is so cute. 1801 01:10:34,010 --> 01:10:35,250 Let me see. I wanna see. 1802 01:10:35,290 --> 01:10:37,170 Laird's been telling me I should get a neck tat. 1803 01:10:37,330 --> 01:10:38,550 I see what Laird is doing here. 1804 01:10:38,730 --> 01:10:40,570 I see what he's doing. 1805 01:10:40,730 --> 01:10:44,120 He is trying to put his imprint on this entire family. 1806 01:10:44,290 --> 01:10:47,400 And that is why we've got all these secrets now. 1807 01:10:47,570 --> 01:10:48,960 And it's all because of him! 1808 01:10:49,130 --> 01:10:51,000 Why do you have such a big problem with Laird? 1809 01:10:51,170 --> 01:10:53,000 Great question. You know why? Why? 1810 01:10:53,170 --> 01:10:55,120 Because of his influence, 1811 01:10:55,290 --> 01:10:56,640 you drop out of college. 1812 01:10:56,810 --> 01:10:59,000 Because of his influence, you get a "too." 1813 01:10:59,170 --> 01:11:00,290 Dad, I think you mean "tat." 1814 01:11:00,370 --> 01:11:01,410 You definitely mean "tat." 1815 01:11:01,450 --> 01:11:02,580 I mean "tat?" It's not a "too?" 1816 01:11:02,610 --> 01:11:03,740 "Tat." No, it's not a "too." No. 1817 01:11:03,770 --> 01:11:05,280 No, I saw it on Geraldo. 1818 01:11:05,450 --> 01:11:07,200 They call them "toos," okay? Okay. 1819 01:11:07,370 --> 01:11:09,440 This is what's going to be your downward spiral. 1820 01:11:09,610 --> 01:11:11,200 First you get a tattoo, 1821 01:11:11,370 --> 01:11:12,960 then you start vaporizing. 1822 01:11:13,170 --> 01:11:14,760 - What? - You're vaporizing. 1823 01:11:14,930 --> 01:11:16,480 What are you talking about? 1824 01:11:16,650 --> 01:11:19,600 When you have... It's an e-cigarette. 1825 01:11:19,770 --> 01:11:22,440 But instead of tobacco or a fake tobacco, 1826 01:11:22,610 --> 01:11:24,320 no, you have marijuana in that e-cigarette. 1827 01:11:24,490 --> 01:11:25,710 Dad, I know what it is. Yeah. 1828 01:11:25,890 --> 01:11:27,280 How do you know what it is? 1829 01:11:27,450 --> 01:11:30,320 Because I've been around. Haven't I? 1830 01:11:32,130 --> 01:11:33,160 Mm-hmm. 1831 01:11:33,330 --> 01:11:34,920 Then you go from there to heroin. 1832 01:11:35,010 --> 01:11:36,040 Mm-hmm, that's right. 1833 01:11:36,210 --> 01:11:38,440 After that, after you get hooked on drugs, 1834 01:11:38,530 --> 01:11:39,610 you know what happens next? 1835 01:11:39,690 --> 01:11:40,690 What? 1836 01:11:40,730 --> 01:11:41,820 You'll become a hooker, a prostitute... 1837 01:11:41,850 --> 01:11:42,960 a pimp's bitch. 1838 01:11:43,050 --> 01:11:44,720 That's what's going to happen to you. 1839 01:11:44,890 --> 01:11:46,160 I see it very clearly. 1840 01:11:46,370 --> 01:11:48,830 Oh, my... How long do I have? 1841 01:11:49,010 --> 01:11:50,880 I'm glad you asked. Not long. 1842 01:11:51,050 --> 01:11:54,200 You keep going down this path, at this rate, not long. 1843 01:11:54,370 --> 01:11:56,830 You're clearly not in a place to listen to me right now. 1844 01:11:57,050 --> 01:11:58,050 So I'm gonna go. 1845 01:11:58,210 --> 01:11:59,530 Thank you, Pops, for the guidance. 1846 01:11:59,690 --> 01:12:00,880 Thank you. You're welcome. 1847 01:12:46,610 --> 01:12:49,400 When the line froze, what did I see? 1848 01:12:49,890 --> 01:12:52,080 A bad mother fucker standing next to me 1849 01:12:52,370 --> 01:12:53,400 Boom! 1850 01:12:57,610 --> 01:12:59,910 Be free like a bird so today I'ma fly 1851 01:13:00,090 --> 01:13:02,550 Bad, bad motherfucker 'til the day I die 1852 01:13:03,970 --> 01:13:05,560 Boss, let me get this straight. 1853 01:13:05,730 --> 01:13:06,840 You want me to hack into 1854 01:13:06,930 --> 01:13:08,760 Stephanie's boyfriend's computer 1855 01:13:08,930 --> 01:13:10,520 and find out if there's any record 1856 01:13:10,610 --> 01:13:12,080 of him starting a foundation? 1857 01:13:12,290 --> 01:13:13,290 Yes, I do. 1858 01:13:13,450 --> 01:13:15,360 Listen, Kevin, you are my IT guy. 1859 01:13:15,450 --> 01:13:16,650 I've got nowhere else to turn. 1860 01:13:16,810 --> 01:13:19,110 You know I've always thought so highly of Stephanie. 1861 01:13:19,290 --> 01:13:21,590 Yeah, she thinks a lot about you. 1862 01:13:21,770 --> 01:13:23,640 Really? Oh, yeah. 1863 01:13:23,810 --> 01:13:25,600 That's so crazy. Now, listen. 1864 01:13:25,770 --> 01:13:27,140 I know that this character has money, 1865 01:13:27,170 --> 01:13:29,090 but there's something about this whole foundation 1866 01:13:29,130 --> 01:13:30,450 that sounds like a bunch of hooey. 1867 01:13:30,610 --> 01:13:34,000 If this guy's running hooey, then I'm gonna find out. 1868 01:13:34,170 --> 01:13:35,370 Okay, first thing's first, Ned, 1869 01:13:35,450 --> 01:13:37,000 you have to break into his computer 1870 01:13:37,170 --> 01:13:39,800 and download a program that I'm gonna send you. 1871 01:13:39,970 --> 01:13:41,280 That's hacking? 1872 01:13:43,810 --> 01:13:45,960 I took a shower, washing every body part... 1873 01:13:47,450 --> 01:13:49,320 Yeah, okay. I'm getting online. 1874 01:13:51,130 --> 01:13:52,960 Kevin, what are you doing? Huh, baby? 1875 01:13:53,130 --> 01:13:55,360 Oh, I'm helping Ned with something IT-related. 1876 01:13:55,530 --> 01:13:56,800 Oh, tell Ned I said hi. 1877 01:13:56,970 --> 01:13:57,970 Okay. 1878 01:13:58,850 --> 01:14:00,050 All right, webcam's on. 1879 01:14:01,370 --> 01:14:02,730 Okay, I'm in the office. 1880 01:14:02,850 --> 01:14:04,800 All right, now get in front of the computer. 1881 01:14:05,010 --> 01:14:07,880 All right, good. Press the spacebar. 1882 01:14:09,330 --> 01:14:11,320 Oh, darn. It's asking for a password. 1883 01:14:11,450 --> 01:14:12,450 No surprise. 1884 01:14:12,490 --> 01:14:16,160 A lot of guys have passwords related to their girlfriends or their wives. 1885 01:14:16,970 --> 01:14:19,840 Kevin, you're a genius. That's what I have! 1886 01:14:20,010 --> 01:14:22,840 It's "Barbsguy1989." The year we were married. 1887 01:14:23,850 --> 01:14:26,310 The younger generation tends to go a little bit racier. 1888 01:14:26,530 --> 01:14:28,290 I'm gonna get into some sensitive areas here, 1889 01:14:28,370 --> 01:14:29,680 so just bear with me. 1890 01:14:29,850 --> 01:14:33,240 We need to focus on Stephanie's more defining qualities 1891 01:14:33,410 --> 01:14:35,040 that this guy might latch onto. 1892 01:14:35,250 --> 01:14:36,570 Do you understand what I'm saying? 1893 01:14:36,690 --> 01:14:38,360 Would you just get to it? 1894 01:14:38,530 --> 01:14:40,360 For example, like, would you say... 1895 01:14:40,530 --> 01:14:42,480 Stephanie has perky breasts? 1896 01:14:44,210 --> 01:14:45,350 What? Okay. 1897 01:14:45,530 --> 01:14:47,160 I would say yes, because she does. 1898 01:14:47,330 --> 01:14:49,840 Please try "Stephanie's boobs" one word, no caps. 1899 01:14:50,010 --> 01:14:51,040 I'm her dad! 1900 01:14:51,210 --> 01:14:52,880 I understand that you're her dad, 1901 01:14:53,050 --> 01:14:54,640 but you gotta think like him. 1902 01:14:54,850 --> 01:14:55,880 Okay? 1903 01:15:01,730 --> 01:15:02,730 No. 1904 01:15:02,850 --> 01:15:04,400 We're gonna have to kick it up a notch. 1905 01:15:04,610 --> 01:15:06,240 You said that this guy was edgy? 1906 01:15:06,890 --> 01:15:09,400 Please try "Stephanie's tight ass." 1907 01:15:09,530 --> 01:15:10,560 Give that a whirl. 1908 01:15:11,610 --> 01:15:13,600 Are you messing with me, Dingle? 1909 01:15:13,770 --> 01:15:15,680 I wish I was messing with you. 1910 01:15:15,850 --> 01:15:17,040 I'm trying to help you, Ned. 1911 01:15:17,250 --> 01:15:19,440 Make the two "S's" dollar signs in "ass." 1912 01:15:19,610 --> 01:15:20,720 God! 1913 01:15:20,890 --> 01:15:23,240 I am going straight to hell just for typing this. 1914 01:15:23,410 --> 01:15:25,080 Tight ass. 1915 01:15:26,290 --> 01:15:27,840 No. Hey, guys? 1916 01:15:28,050 --> 01:15:29,730 Do you wanna raise the volume on the movie? 1917 01:15:29,770 --> 01:15:30,770 Okay. 1918 01:15:30,970 --> 01:15:33,680 Okay. I'm just gonna list some off, you type them in. 1919 01:15:34,250 --> 01:15:36,400 All right, try "Stephanie's sweet slit." 1920 01:15:36,570 --> 01:15:38,560 I am not writing that! 1921 01:15:38,770 --> 01:15:40,440 Okay, "Stephanie's pink canoe." 1922 01:15:40,650 --> 01:15:41,650 No! 1923 01:15:41,810 --> 01:15:43,050 Listen, this isn't fun for me. 1924 01:15:47,250 --> 01:15:48,560 Oh, my God. What is it? 1925 01:15:48,730 --> 01:15:50,120 It's the password! 1926 01:15:50,290 --> 01:15:52,320 The one piece of paper in the entire house. 1927 01:15:52,490 --> 01:15:53,900 What does it say? I'm gonna log it in. 1928 01:15:53,930 --> 01:15:56,080 "Stephanie's dude." 1929 01:15:57,290 --> 01:15:59,160 Aw, that's actually sweet. 1930 01:15:59,330 --> 01:16:00,470 "2016." 1931 01:16:00,650 --> 01:16:01,650 Boom! We're in. 1932 01:16:01,810 --> 01:16:02,810 Oh, gosh! 1933 01:16:02,970 --> 01:16:04,110 What? What is it? 1934 01:16:04,290 --> 01:16:06,240 It's a nude photograph of Stephanie. 1935 01:16:06,410 --> 01:16:07,960 May I see it, please? No. 1936 01:16:08,130 --> 01:16:09,130 May I please see it? 1937 01:16:09,290 --> 01:16:10,720 I said no! Okay. 1938 01:16:10,930 --> 01:16:12,810 Go to your EarthLink account in the web browser. 1939 01:16:13,090 --> 01:16:15,600 EarthLink, EarthLink, okay. Press. 1940 01:16:16,130 --> 01:16:17,270 I give it my password. 1941 01:16:17,610 --> 01:16:18,640 Okay. 1942 01:16:19,170 --> 01:16:20,920 Okay. I just emailed you a file. 1943 01:16:21,010 --> 01:16:22,920 Download that and open it on his desktop. 1944 01:16:23,610 --> 01:16:25,840 Ned, we're gonna fucking nail this guy! We're good! 1945 01:16:25,970 --> 01:16:27,480 We're hacking, baby! 1946 01:16:27,650 --> 01:16:28,840 We're gonna nail him. 1947 01:16:29,010 --> 01:16:31,250 We're gonna nail him the way he's been nailing Stephanie. 1948 01:16:31,330 --> 01:16:32,500 Just come with me right now. 1949 01:16:32,530 --> 01:16:33,530 What? 1950 01:16:33,650 --> 01:16:34,660 Why are you taking me to my office? 1951 01:16:34,690 --> 01:16:35,720 Everyone's downstairs. 1952 01:16:35,810 --> 01:16:37,440 Oh, shit! Someone's coming! Okay. Escape! 1953 01:16:37,530 --> 01:16:38,560 Oh, God! 1954 01:16:38,650 --> 01:16:39,850 Baby, what are we doing? 1955 01:16:39,930 --> 01:16:41,280 Christmas Eve is about to start. 1956 01:16:41,450 --> 01:16:43,250 What is the matter with you? What's happening? 1957 01:16:43,330 --> 01:16:44,780 I specifically told you... Don't say anything. 1958 01:16:44,810 --> 01:16:48,160 that I wanted to be the one to tell my dad about Stanford. 1959 01:16:48,330 --> 01:16:50,170 I know. We were just... Then why did you do it? 1960 01:16:50,330 --> 01:16:52,630 We were bonding so hard, it just sort of slipped out. 1961 01:16:52,810 --> 01:16:55,600 You clearly have no idea what this means to him. 1962 01:16:55,810 --> 01:16:58,190 He was so proud of me when I got into Stanford. 1963 01:16:58,370 --> 01:17:02,320 He worked so hard to make it happen. 1964 01:17:02,490 --> 01:17:06,000 Me dropping out is like a huge slap in his face. 1965 01:17:06,890 --> 01:17:07,890 Okay. 1966 01:17:08,010 --> 01:17:10,200 I just never had anyone like him in my life before. 1967 01:17:10,370 --> 01:17:11,840 Oh, my God! 1968 01:17:12,650 --> 01:17:14,480 I thought we could just talk it out. 1969 01:17:14,650 --> 01:17:17,210 You could see how that's not your place to do that, right? 1970 01:17:17,410 --> 01:17:18,470 Okay. Maybe not. 1971 01:17:18,650 --> 01:17:19,790 Definitely not. 1972 01:17:19,970 --> 01:17:22,320 Okay, you're right. He was super pissed. 1973 01:17:24,410 --> 01:17:26,400 Sometimes I feel like you're not capable 1974 01:17:26,490 --> 01:17:28,200 of being in a relationship. 1975 01:17:28,370 --> 01:17:30,640 It's time that you get a handle 1976 01:17:30,730 --> 01:17:32,570 on these father issues. 1977 01:17:32,650 --> 01:17:33,680 Wow. 1978 01:17:33,850 --> 01:17:35,360 That's the truth. 1979 01:17:36,210 --> 01:17:38,400 When you call me on my shit... 1980 01:17:38,570 --> 01:17:42,400 My God! It makes me feel so close to you. 1981 01:17:42,570 --> 01:17:45,760 Your honesty has such an effect on me. 1982 01:17:47,050 --> 01:17:49,400 You're making me so fucking horny right now. 1983 01:17:49,770 --> 01:17:50,910 - What? - Yeah. 1984 01:17:51,010 --> 01:17:52,560 That face is boner-bait. 1985 01:17:52,730 --> 01:17:54,570 Can you not see that I'm mad at you? 1986 01:17:54,730 --> 01:17:56,140 Yeah, I see it. That's what's... 1987 01:17:56,170 --> 01:17:57,820 Oh, my God. You're driving me crazy! 1988 01:17:57,850 --> 01:17:59,680 You're not listening to me. 1989 01:18:00,610 --> 01:18:01,610 I'm listening. 1990 01:18:02,250 --> 01:18:03,520 I'm sorry. 1991 01:18:03,690 --> 01:18:04,750 Do you... 1992 01:18:06,130 --> 01:18:07,600 You need therapy. 1993 01:18:11,050 --> 01:18:12,270 Not working. No? 1994 01:18:12,450 --> 01:18:13,720 Mm-mm. Not today, buddy. 1995 01:18:13,890 --> 01:18:15,280 Okay. How about this? 1996 01:18:15,930 --> 01:18:17,040 Is this working? 1997 01:18:19,250 --> 01:18:20,520 A little bit. 1998 01:18:21,250 --> 01:18:22,390 Okay, how about this? 1999 01:18:25,290 --> 01:18:28,640 Okay. That's working a little bit more. 2000 01:18:28,810 --> 01:18:30,360 Laird, I love you. 2001 01:18:30,570 --> 01:18:31,880 But I'm still mad at you. 2002 01:18:32,050 --> 01:18:33,400 I'm sorry. 2003 01:18:42,930 --> 01:18:44,640 I'm so sorry. No, no! 2004 01:18:45,090 --> 01:18:46,090 Okay? 2005 01:18:46,330 --> 01:18:47,330 Yes! 2006 01:18:47,450 --> 01:18:48,450 No! 2007 01:18:51,450 --> 01:18:52,450 You... 2008 01:18:53,410 --> 01:18:54,980 I'm gonna make it up to you. What is happening? 2009 01:18:55,010 --> 01:18:57,530 You just lie back, and I'll give you an early Christmas present. 2010 01:18:57,570 --> 01:18:59,600 You are such a freak. 2011 01:18:59,770 --> 01:19:00,910 I know. 2012 01:19:04,810 --> 01:19:05,840 Here comes Santa. 2013 01:19:06,010 --> 01:19:07,010 Oh, really? 2014 01:19:07,130 --> 01:19:09,120 Ho, ho, ho. Oh, my God. 2015 01:19:09,290 --> 01:19:10,480 Merry Christmas. 2016 01:19:11,450 --> 01:19:14,280 Somebody's been naughty this year. 2017 01:19:16,690 --> 01:19:17,800 Boss? 2018 01:19:17,970 --> 01:19:20,160 Ned. Are you there? Hello? 2019 01:19:20,290 --> 01:19:21,290 Hello? Oh. 2020 01:19:21,370 --> 01:19:23,960 Yes. Kevin, I'm here. What's happening? 2021 01:19:24,090 --> 01:19:25,090 I'm in. 2022 01:19:25,290 --> 01:19:26,650 Do you have access to the Internet? 2023 01:19:26,770 --> 01:19:28,160 Yes, I do. Hold on. 2024 01:19:28,330 --> 01:19:29,600 Wait a second. 2025 01:19:29,770 --> 01:19:31,360 Log into your EarthLink account. 2026 01:19:32,450 --> 01:19:33,450 Okay. Got it. 2027 01:19:33,610 --> 01:19:36,640 I'm gonna send these to you right now. 2028 01:19:36,810 --> 01:19:38,760 Good. You're done, Mayhew. 2029 01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:41,320 What the fuck? 2030 01:19:42,210 --> 01:19:43,800 What happened? Oh, my God. 2031 01:19:43,970 --> 01:19:45,280 Wait, what? What's going on? 2032 01:19:45,450 --> 01:19:47,600 I don't know. He has my face. 2033 01:19:47,730 --> 01:19:48,820 What do you mean he has your face? 2034 01:19:48,850 --> 01:19:49,850 I'm locked out. 2035 01:19:49,970 --> 01:19:51,320 I can't use my computer anymore. 2036 01:19:51,450 --> 01:19:52,450 What? Stop that! 2037 01:19:52,570 --> 01:19:53,970 What's happening? He's onto us, Ned. 2038 01:19:54,010 --> 01:19:55,010 What are you doing? 2039 01:19:55,170 --> 01:19:57,730 We have to abort. Oh, God. Oh, no. 2040 01:19:57,890 --> 01:20:01,040 Move back, motherfuckers Mayhew's here 2041 01:20:01,170 --> 01:20:02,170 Oh, fuck! 2042 01:20:02,210 --> 01:20:03,410 He's a mythical creature, Ned. 2043 01:20:03,490 --> 01:20:04,490 He's what? 2044 01:20:05,370 --> 01:20:08,040 What the fuck? Oh, God. 2045 01:20:08,250 --> 01:20:10,040 He's pulling out his penis! 2046 01:20:10,970 --> 01:20:12,400 Oh, my God. 2047 01:20:12,570 --> 01:20:14,480 He's balls deep in my digital butt. 2048 01:20:17,050 --> 01:20:18,180 Are you watching porn? 2049 01:20:18,210 --> 01:20:19,320 Turn that off! 2050 01:20:19,490 --> 01:20:20,550 Ned, he's doing it! 2051 01:20:21,170 --> 01:20:22,520 Marnie, it's not good! 2052 01:20:22,890 --> 01:20:24,520 Stay the fuck out! Turn that off! 2053 01:20:24,690 --> 01:20:25,720 Kevin! 2054 01:20:25,890 --> 01:20:26,890 Kevin! 2055 01:20:30,730 --> 01:20:32,200 He has control of the house! 2056 01:20:32,370 --> 01:20:33,400 Come here! 2057 01:20:33,610 --> 01:20:35,340 Kevin, what is happening? We gotta get out of here! 2058 01:20:35,370 --> 01:20:36,370 Go, go, go! 2059 01:20:36,570 --> 01:20:37,570 - What? - Kevin! 2060 01:20:37,730 --> 01:20:39,040 Kevin! 2061 01:20:49,730 --> 01:20:51,840 Oh, my... 2062 01:20:53,730 --> 01:20:57,600 Silent night 2063 01:20:57,770 --> 01:21:01,470 Holy night 2064 01:21:02,290 --> 01:21:05,640 All is calm 2065 01:21:07,010 --> 01:21:09,470 All is bright 2066 01:21:12,210 --> 01:21:13,430 Hi. Hey. 2067 01:21:13,650 --> 01:21:14,960 You know what? Let's not fight. 2068 01:21:15,050 --> 01:21:16,080 Okay. 2069 01:21:16,250 --> 01:21:18,650 I'm sorry, truly, that you found out about Stanford that way. 2070 01:21:18,730 --> 01:21:19,730 Thank you. 2071 01:21:19,810 --> 01:21:21,690 It was not okay of Laird, and he knows that now. 2072 01:21:21,850 --> 01:21:23,220 But I'm confident this is a really good idea. 2073 01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:24,900 Honey, before you continue, I need to tell you something. 2074 01:21:24,930 --> 01:21:27,560 Laird has been lying to you. 2075 01:21:28,130 --> 01:21:29,130 I tried. 2076 01:21:29,330 --> 01:21:30,720 No, no, no. Hey! It's unbelievable! 2077 01:21:30,890 --> 01:21:32,760 He is in serious financial trouble. 2078 01:21:32,930 --> 01:21:34,720 In what way? It's Christmas. 2079 01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:36,110 Ned, you're making a mistake. 2080 01:21:36,290 --> 01:21:38,560 He doesn't have enough money to finance his business, 2081 01:21:38,730 --> 01:21:40,040 let alone a foundation. 2082 01:21:40,130 --> 01:21:41,820 What exactly makes you think that? 2083 01:21:41,850 --> 01:21:43,160 Wait till you see this. 2084 01:21:43,330 --> 01:21:44,440 What's this? Here. 2085 01:21:44,610 --> 01:21:46,520 Look at this, his own bank records. 2086 01:21:46,690 --> 01:21:48,200 All in red. 2087 01:21:50,250 --> 01:21:51,310 Is this for real? 2088 01:21:51,490 --> 01:21:52,550 Yeah, it's true. 2089 01:21:52,770 --> 01:21:55,330 Guerrilla Gang hasn't crushed one in a couple of years. 2090 01:21:55,490 --> 01:21:57,040 So you lied to me? 2091 01:21:57,210 --> 01:21:58,400 I'm dropping out of school 2092 01:21:58,610 --> 01:22:00,930 to start a foundation that you're supposed to be financing. 2093 01:22:01,010 --> 01:22:02,070 Yeah. Yeah. 2094 01:22:02,250 --> 01:22:04,320 Baby, the foundation is all good. 2095 01:22:04,530 --> 01:22:06,240 What are you talking about? 2096 01:22:06,450 --> 01:22:09,760 Ned, there has been a very big misunderstanding. 2097 01:22:09,930 --> 01:22:12,880 These are only Laird's business holdings. 2098 01:22:13,050 --> 01:22:14,050 On the personal side... 2099 01:22:14,250 --> 01:22:15,340 I have put together a moderate, 2100 01:22:15,370 --> 01:22:17,200 conservative private equity sleeve 2101 01:22:17,370 --> 01:22:19,240 that has been performing delightfully. 2102 01:22:19,410 --> 01:22:21,000 You could say that again. Mm-hmm. 2103 01:22:21,170 --> 01:22:22,560 So you followed the Buffett rule? 2104 01:22:22,730 --> 01:22:23,850 Always, dude. 2105 01:22:24,050 --> 01:22:25,720 70/30, stocks to bonds. 2106 01:22:25,810 --> 01:22:26,810 Buffet. 2107 01:22:26,930 --> 01:22:27,930 Nice. 2108 01:22:28,010 --> 01:22:29,100 Your little hacker, Dingle... 2109 01:22:29,130 --> 01:22:30,130 Hacker? 2110 01:22:30,290 --> 01:22:31,960 ...was worming down the wrong hole. 2111 01:22:32,130 --> 01:22:34,510 - Does he mean Kevin Dingle? - Probably. 2112 01:22:34,730 --> 01:22:36,040 No, must be another Dingle. 2113 01:22:36,210 --> 01:22:38,640 Only dingle I know of is the berries on the butt. 2114 01:22:38,810 --> 01:22:40,600 Look, how much money do you have? 2115 01:22:40,730 --> 01:22:41,780 Babe, you don't have to answer this. 2116 01:22:41,810 --> 01:22:42,870 Yes, he does. 2117 01:22:42,970 --> 01:22:44,760 Fine! Full disclosure. 2118 01:22:44,930 --> 01:22:46,120 It's bad. 2119 01:22:47,090 --> 01:22:50,040 I'm down to my last 97 million. 2120 01:22:50,330 --> 01:22:51,880 Laird. 2121 01:22:53,410 --> 01:22:55,240 197 million. 2122 01:22:56,810 --> 01:22:57,840 Boom. 2123 01:22:57,930 --> 01:23:00,120 He's just barely scraping by. 2124 01:23:00,290 --> 01:23:01,450 All you had to do was ask me. 2125 01:23:01,570 --> 01:23:03,600 Gentlemen, I need Deck the Halls, allegro, now. 2126 01:23:04,090 --> 01:23:06,840 Deck the halls with boughs of holly 2127 01:23:07,050 --> 01:23:08,640 Ned, it's the holidays 2128 01:23:08,810 --> 01:23:10,440 and I think we should start over. 2129 01:23:12,090 --> 01:23:13,150 So this is for you. 2130 01:23:17,290 --> 01:23:18,290 What is it? 2131 01:23:18,370 --> 01:23:19,570 It's a little stocking stuffer. 2132 01:23:19,650 --> 01:23:20,710 I think you'll like it. 2133 01:23:22,450 --> 01:23:24,120 A phone? Press the button. 2134 01:23:26,290 --> 01:23:28,880 This is from my bank in Grand Rapids. 2135 01:23:29,050 --> 01:23:30,160 Merry Christmas. 2136 01:23:30,290 --> 01:23:31,380 Someone fill me in here. 2137 01:23:31,410 --> 01:23:32,410 Well, Steph... 2138 01:23:32,530 --> 01:23:35,040 I bought your father's company. 2139 01:23:35,730 --> 01:23:36,760 Sort of. 2140 01:23:36,930 --> 01:23:40,680 Ned, I purchased all your debt as a Christmas present. 2141 01:23:40,850 --> 01:23:42,160 What the fuck? 2142 01:23:42,610 --> 01:23:44,480 You son of a bitch. What? 2143 01:23:44,650 --> 01:23:46,890 Dude, I'm trying to be nice, so you can avoid bankruptcy. 2144 01:23:47,410 --> 01:23:48,720 Are you guys talking Chapter 11? 2145 01:23:48,810 --> 01:23:50,130 I don't even wanna hear that term. 2146 01:23:50,210 --> 01:23:52,920 Okay, gentlemen, I need Jingle Bells, and step on it! 2147 01:23:53,090 --> 01:23:56,280 I can't believe that you didn't tell us about this. 2148 01:23:56,450 --> 01:23:58,520 What? No, it's just... 2149 01:23:58,730 --> 01:24:01,190 The business has been running a little rough lately. 2150 01:24:01,370 --> 01:24:03,060 I'm already working on a new deal right now. 2151 01:24:03,090 --> 01:24:05,000 So you had no idea? No. 2152 01:24:05,170 --> 01:24:06,610 How the hell did you know about this? 2153 01:24:06,890 --> 01:24:08,760 It was Justine. Oh. 2154 01:24:08,850 --> 01:24:10,040 Yeah, it was me. 2155 01:24:10,210 --> 01:24:12,940 She played me back a little bit of a conversation you had the other day... 2156 01:24:12,970 --> 01:24:13,970 with a guy named Lou. 2157 01:24:14,570 --> 01:24:16,600 Of course, I had to help. 2158 01:24:16,770 --> 01:24:18,340 Ned, I'm sorry if I overstepped. 2159 01:24:18,370 --> 01:24:19,370 Yep. 2160 01:24:19,450 --> 01:24:21,480 But I was really, really worried about you. 2161 01:24:21,650 --> 01:24:23,240 She was. No clowning. 2162 01:24:23,410 --> 01:24:24,920 And just so you don't stress, 2163 01:24:25,130 --> 01:24:27,430 you're still gonna be the Big Cheese, dude. 2164 01:24:27,610 --> 01:24:29,520 I plan on being a very hands-off owner. 2165 01:24:30,610 --> 01:24:33,070 So what do you say, partner? 2166 01:24:35,650 --> 01:24:37,290 - Ned, what are you... - What the fuck? 2167 01:24:37,450 --> 01:24:39,320 Why would you do that, Dad? 2168 01:24:39,410 --> 01:24:40,410 Dad! 2169 01:24:40,490 --> 01:24:41,880 Fuck you, paper man! 2170 01:24:43,610 --> 01:24:44,920 Oh, scheisse. 2171 01:24:45,090 --> 01:24:46,090 Ned, I'm sorry, bro. 2172 01:24:46,250 --> 01:24:47,840 Are you okay? Oh, man. 2173 01:24:48,010 --> 01:24:49,280 My training, it just takes over. 2174 01:24:49,490 --> 01:24:51,680 Everybody is feeling a lot of tension. 2175 01:24:51,850 --> 01:24:52,910 Calm down. Dad! 2176 01:24:53,930 --> 01:24:56,360 Or we can hit people square in the face with an iPad. 2177 01:24:58,370 --> 01:25:00,040 Disengage. Disengage and run! 2178 01:25:03,650 --> 01:25:05,300 Dude, that was kind of cool. You gotta be honest. 2179 01:25:05,330 --> 01:25:07,200 Ned, I love you. I was just trying to help. 2180 01:25:08,770 --> 01:25:09,770 Ooh! 2181 01:25:11,530 --> 01:25:12,530 Laird, disengage him! 2182 01:25:12,610 --> 01:25:14,120 Ned, let go of his balls! 2183 01:25:17,610 --> 01:25:19,320 Laird! Evasive parkour! 2184 01:25:19,490 --> 01:25:20,550 Laird, get away! 2185 01:25:20,770 --> 01:25:22,680 Evasive parkour! Do the wall pop! 2186 01:25:23,530 --> 01:25:24,530 Wall pop! 2187 01:25:28,090 --> 01:25:29,720 Goose! Did you see that? 2188 01:25:29,890 --> 01:25:32,600 That's right! Because you finally engaged your core! 2189 01:25:32,770 --> 01:25:33,770 Get down here! 2190 01:25:33,850 --> 01:25:36,660 You see the difference of the feeling? How it feels differently? 2191 01:25:36,690 --> 01:25:37,720 I know! 2192 01:25:38,690 --> 01:25:39,800 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 2193 01:25:40,410 --> 01:25:41,700 Don't breathe in. I'll save you, brother! 2194 01:25:41,730 --> 01:25:42,810 Scotty, no! Scotty! 2195 01:25:42,850 --> 01:25:43,850 No, honey! 2196 01:25:44,770 --> 01:25:45,890 I'm here to save you, Laird! 2197 01:25:50,570 --> 01:25:51,630 Scotty, watch out! 2198 01:26:00,050 --> 01:26:01,840 Laird! You okay? 2199 01:26:03,010 --> 01:26:04,010 Yeah! 2200 01:26:04,170 --> 01:26:05,440 Fantastic! You're okay. 2201 01:26:06,010 --> 01:26:07,640 You're okay. Wait. Where's Scotty? 2202 01:26:07,810 --> 01:26:09,080 Scotty! Oh, my God. 2203 01:26:09,450 --> 01:26:11,320 Scotty! He's under the moose! 2204 01:26:11,530 --> 01:26:12,940 He's under the moose! 2205 01:26:12,970 --> 01:26:14,110 Scotty! 2206 01:26:16,210 --> 01:26:17,210 Oh, shit. 2207 01:26:17,410 --> 01:26:19,640 These fucking moose balls are in my mouth. 2208 01:26:19,810 --> 01:26:21,840 Oh, shit, he's teabagging you, bro! 2209 01:26:22,010 --> 01:26:23,320 I got you. 2210 01:26:28,850 --> 01:26:31,150 Come here. Come here. 2211 01:26:31,330 --> 01:26:33,000 Oh, my God. It's okay. 2212 01:26:33,170 --> 01:26:34,170 It's okay. 2213 01:26:37,650 --> 01:26:39,950 Honey, I'm so sorry it turned out this way. 2214 01:26:40,130 --> 01:26:41,130 Me, too. 2215 01:26:41,810 --> 01:26:42,970 I'll call you when I get home. 2216 01:26:43,090 --> 01:26:45,080 Okay. Good luck with Scotty. 2217 01:26:45,850 --> 01:26:47,320 Thank you. I'll need it. Yeah. 2218 01:26:49,410 --> 01:26:52,040 Steph, listen. I never... 2219 01:26:52,210 --> 01:26:54,400 I'm done listening. Have a safe flight. 2220 01:26:57,850 --> 01:26:59,600 See you, sis. Bye, Scotty. 2221 01:27:01,530 --> 01:27:03,910 Can't believe I have to go back to toilet paper. 2222 01:27:10,650 --> 01:27:13,400 Hey, Don Millis. Merry Christmas, sir. 2223 01:27:13,490 --> 01:27:15,370 You too, Ned. Look, I hate to call on Christmas. 2224 01:27:15,490 --> 01:27:17,200 Oh, don't worry about that. 2225 01:27:17,370 --> 01:27:19,120 It was great catching up yesterday 2226 01:27:19,290 --> 01:27:21,450 and I wanted to ring you as soon as we made a decision. 2227 01:27:21,530 --> 01:27:22,530 Okay. 2228 01:27:22,610 --> 01:27:24,490 I talked with the group here about your proposal 2229 01:27:24,570 --> 01:27:26,160 and we just can't go for it. 2230 01:27:26,330 --> 01:27:27,600 I'm sorry, pal. 2231 01:27:27,810 --> 01:27:30,480 We really appreciate you offering us such a sweetheart deal. 2232 01:27:30,690 --> 01:27:33,260 But fact is we 're just not doing a whole lot of printing these days. 2233 01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:34,430 You know how it is. Yes. 2234 01:27:34,650 --> 01:27:35,740 It's a whole new world, right? 2235 01:27:35,770 --> 01:27:36,770 Yes. 2236 01:27:37,690 --> 01:27:38,720 Sure is. 2237 01:27:38,890 --> 01:27:40,690 I sure wish we could've done business, Cheese. 2238 01:27:40,730 --> 01:27:42,120 All right, listen, um, 2239 01:27:42,330 --> 01:27:44,680 if you're sure I can't change your mind there, Don. 2240 01:27:44,850 --> 01:27:46,070 Yeah, unfortunately not. 2241 01:27:46,290 --> 01:27:47,960 Okay. All right. 2242 01:27:49,090 --> 01:27:51,200 You have a happy holidays. You, too, Ned! 2243 01:27:51,370 --> 01:27:52,760 Best to Barb and the kids. 2244 01:27:55,810 --> 01:27:57,200 Excuse me, Ned? 2245 01:27:57,370 --> 01:28:00,320 I'm sorry to bother you, but your flight leaves in an hour. 2246 01:28:03,210 --> 01:28:06,640 Must seem strange to you, my friend 2247 01:28:06,810 --> 01:28:08,200 I'll miss you. 2248 01:28:08,290 --> 01:28:11,600 Some things are always heaven sent 2249 01:28:12,530 --> 01:28:16,150 The more you want, the harder it gets 2250 01:28:16,610 --> 01:28:20,840 The more you let go, the more you get 2251 01:28:20,930 --> 01:28:22,400 It's a crazy... 2252 01:28:28,250 --> 01:28:30,000 ...beautiful life 2253 01:28:30,770 --> 01:28:34,760 Some things make sense and you don't know what 2254 01:28:34,890 --> 01:28:39,360 It's a crazy beautiful life 2255 01:28:46,370 --> 01:28:48,280 Welcome home, Flemings! 2256 01:28:48,450 --> 01:28:49,560 Lou, what... 2257 01:28:49,690 --> 01:28:50,750 You guys must be freezing. 2258 01:28:50,930 --> 01:28:53,120 Come on, get in here. Let me get that. Come on, Cheese. 2259 01:28:53,210 --> 01:28:54,570 Lou, what's going on? Barbara, hey. 2260 01:28:54,770 --> 01:28:55,800 Hi. 2261 01:28:55,890 --> 01:28:56,980 - Barb, you look great. - There they are! 2262 01:28:57,010 --> 01:28:59,470 Merry Christmas! 2263 01:29:01,730 --> 01:29:02,870 Wow! 2264 01:29:03,410 --> 01:29:06,800 Um, Lou, I texted you that I needed to talk to you. 2265 01:29:06,970 --> 01:29:07,970 I mean, what's... 2266 01:29:08,130 --> 01:29:10,120 Come on, you hear this guy? 2267 01:29:10,330 --> 01:29:11,720 Hank Rouse from First National 2268 01:29:11,890 --> 01:29:14,270 shot me a congratulatory voicemail this morning 2269 01:29:14,410 --> 01:29:15,800 about the Mayhew deal. 2270 01:29:15,970 --> 01:29:16,970 You did it, Big Cheese! 2271 01:29:18,570 --> 01:29:20,010 You pulled off the Christmas miracle. 2272 01:29:22,010 --> 01:29:24,120 Cheese, Cheese, Cheese! Cheese, Cheese, Cheese! 2273 01:29:24,290 --> 01:29:25,400 Barb! 2274 01:29:26,410 --> 01:29:27,410 Scotty. 2275 01:29:27,570 --> 01:29:30,280 Ned, as a little token of our appreciation, 2276 01:29:30,450 --> 01:29:32,910 we all chipped in and bought you something 2277 01:29:33,090 --> 01:29:35,720 that we're pretty sure you don't own. 2278 01:29:38,170 --> 01:29:39,840 You shouldn't have. 2279 01:29:40,010 --> 01:29:41,520 Open it. Yeah. 2280 01:29:42,250 --> 01:29:43,250 Yeah, right there. 2281 01:29:44,690 --> 01:29:46,760 It's an iPad. 2282 01:29:47,930 --> 01:29:49,280 Hit the home button right there. 2283 01:29:49,450 --> 01:29:50,450 Yeah. 2284 01:29:51,810 --> 01:29:53,820 We had a little fun with that down in Graphics. 2285 01:29:53,850 --> 01:29:56,000 I got the images off Scotty's Facebook page. 2286 01:29:57,970 --> 01:29:59,680 He looks like a stand-up guy. 2287 01:29:59,770 --> 01:30:01,520 Like a younger version of you, Ned. 2288 01:30:02,290 --> 01:30:03,320 Make a speech! 2289 01:30:03,450 --> 01:30:04,760 Speech! Oh, yes, speech! 2290 01:30:04,970 --> 01:30:06,280 Speech, speech, speech. 2291 01:30:11,850 --> 01:30:13,040 The heck is that? 2292 01:30:17,210 --> 01:30:19,480 Laird, a jet and a helicopter? Where are we? 2293 01:30:19,690 --> 01:30:21,160 Hang on, babe. Almost there. 2294 01:30:32,850 --> 01:30:34,320 One second. Mayhew! 2295 01:30:34,490 --> 01:30:35,500 Guys, stay here for a minute. 2296 01:30:35,530 --> 01:30:36,660 Honey, go inside and get a jacket. 2297 01:30:36,690 --> 01:30:37,860 That's Mayhew. Is that the guy? 2298 01:30:37,890 --> 01:30:38,890 Laird! 2299 01:30:38,970 --> 01:30:40,160 Where are we? 2300 01:30:40,330 --> 01:30:41,330 That looks weird. 2301 01:30:41,410 --> 01:30:42,890 It's kind of Fifty Shades of Grey-ish. 2302 01:30:43,090 --> 01:30:44,680 Cold? Yeah. 2303 01:30:47,010 --> 01:30:49,470 And here we go. 2304 01:30:51,370 --> 01:30:52,560 Surprise! 2305 01:30:53,530 --> 01:30:54,640 Hi, honey. 2306 01:30:56,050 --> 01:30:57,160 Ta-da. 2307 01:30:59,690 --> 01:31:01,240 You brought me home? Yeah. 2308 01:31:01,410 --> 01:31:03,040 Without telling me? 2309 01:31:03,210 --> 01:31:06,520 I realize I violated the sanctity of mystery date 2310 01:31:06,690 --> 01:31:09,560 but I just thought the family should all be together today. 2311 01:31:09,730 --> 01:31:11,490 Okay, that wasn't your place to do that, hon. 2312 01:31:11,610 --> 01:31:13,440 Steph, I know, 2313 01:31:13,610 --> 01:31:15,000 but it is Christmas. 2314 01:31:15,210 --> 01:31:16,240 And we're glad to see you. 2315 01:31:16,410 --> 01:31:17,470 This isn't what she wanted. 2316 01:31:17,570 --> 01:31:18,630 No, it's not. 2317 01:31:18,730 --> 01:31:20,280 What I wanted was for us to spend 2318 01:31:20,370 --> 01:31:21,760 Christmas in California together 2319 01:31:21,930 --> 01:31:24,360 like I planned, before everything went to shit 2320 01:31:24,530 --> 01:31:26,280 because you made it all about yourself. 2321 01:31:27,290 --> 01:31:28,430 Mm-hmm. 2322 01:31:29,130 --> 01:31:30,350 You both did. 2323 01:31:30,530 --> 01:31:31,720 I did? Yes! 2324 01:31:31,930 --> 01:31:34,880 You idiots think you can pass me back and forth 2325 01:31:35,050 --> 01:31:36,880 like I'm your property or something? 2326 01:31:36,970 --> 01:31:37,970 I'm done. 2327 01:31:38,050 --> 01:31:39,520 This is the worst Christmas ever. 2328 01:31:39,730 --> 01:31:41,400 Steph. Steph. Honey. 2329 01:31:46,370 --> 01:31:47,560 I think she's pissed. 2330 01:31:50,490 --> 01:31:52,320 Yeah, she's pissed. 2331 01:31:52,450 --> 01:31:53,450 Shit! 2332 01:31:53,730 --> 01:31:57,720 I just thought that you guys should be together today. 2333 01:31:58,970 --> 01:32:01,320 All right. Well, I'll leave you to it. 2334 01:32:02,250 --> 01:32:03,600 Happy holidays, Ned. 2335 01:32:03,770 --> 01:32:05,080 You too, Laird. 2336 01:32:12,250 --> 01:32:13,720 Uh, Laird. 2337 01:32:13,930 --> 01:32:15,920 You're doing a "I'm gonna walk away slowly 2338 01:32:16,010 --> 01:32:17,610 "'cause I really don't wanna leave" walk. 2339 01:32:19,810 --> 01:32:21,160 Maybe. 2340 01:32:21,610 --> 01:32:22,610 Come here. 2341 01:32:23,770 --> 01:32:24,910 Come here. 2342 01:32:25,090 --> 01:32:26,960 So what happened? You didn't propose? 2343 01:32:27,130 --> 01:32:28,240 How could I? 2344 01:32:28,450 --> 01:32:29,490 I never got your permission 2345 01:32:29,610 --> 01:32:31,440 and we pinky-swore I wouldn't ask without it. 2346 01:32:33,690 --> 01:32:35,320 You are remarkable. 2347 01:32:36,490 --> 01:32:39,840 You don't have a gear to be dishonest, do you? 2348 01:32:40,610 --> 01:32:42,000 Guess not, dude. 2349 01:32:44,930 --> 01:32:46,680 Laird, you never needed my permission 2350 01:32:46,770 --> 01:32:48,160 to ask Stephanie to marry you. 2351 01:32:49,850 --> 01:32:52,000 But if it still means anything to you, 2352 01:32:53,450 --> 01:32:54,510 you have my blessing. 2353 01:32:57,290 --> 01:32:58,320 For reals? 2354 01:32:58,890 --> 01:32:59,890 No clowning. 2355 01:33:01,490 --> 01:33:02,490 Whoa. 2356 01:33:04,290 --> 01:33:06,670 But, Laird, Stephanie's right. 2357 01:33:06,850 --> 01:33:09,120 It's up to her. It's always been up to her. 2358 01:33:09,210 --> 01:33:10,270 Not us. 2359 01:33:11,650 --> 01:33:14,210 It just took me a while to realize that. 2360 01:33:15,650 --> 01:33:16,680 It's so true. 2361 01:33:17,650 --> 01:33:19,120 Dude, we were such jerks. 2362 01:33:19,330 --> 01:33:20,470 Yeah. 2363 01:33:20,650 --> 01:33:21,840 I bit your dick. 2364 01:33:22,970 --> 01:33:24,640 Shaft and balls. Oh. 2365 01:33:26,410 --> 01:33:27,630 I'm sorry. 2366 01:33:28,330 --> 01:33:29,880 I'm sorry, too, dude. 2367 01:33:30,090 --> 01:33:33,160 Look, Laird, if you wanna ask Stephanie to marry you 2368 01:33:33,330 --> 01:33:35,360 when the time is right, just do it. 2369 01:33:36,930 --> 01:33:39,000 Okay. Is it cool if I do it right now? 2370 01:33:39,170 --> 01:33:41,400 Because, uh, just in case it worked out 2371 01:33:41,570 --> 01:33:44,680 I had Goose put a shit ton of doves in the helicopter 2372 01:33:44,850 --> 01:33:46,250 and I have a couple other surprises. 2373 01:33:46,410 --> 01:33:48,840 Laird, this is totally your call. 2374 01:33:49,010 --> 01:33:51,000 But can I give you some advice? 2375 01:33:51,530 --> 01:33:52,590 Dude, please. 2376 01:33:52,690 --> 01:33:53,740 I'm so fucking nervous right now. 2377 01:33:53,770 --> 01:33:54,800 All right, look... 2378 01:33:54,890 --> 01:33:58,160 Stephanie doesn't care about all the bells and whistles. 2379 01:33:58,370 --> 01:33:59,920 You know her. 2380 01:34:00,090 --> 01:34:01,520 She cares about you. 2381 01:34:01,690 --> 01:34:03,040 She loves you. 2382 01:34:04,530 --> 01:34:06,400 So you get down on one knee 2383 01:34:07,290 --> 01:34:09,670 and you speak to her from your heart. 2384 01:34:10,570 --> 01:34:12,200 That's what you're best at. 2385 01:34:14,130 --> 01:34:16,360 Isn't that right, Justine? 2386 01:34:16,970 --> 01:34:18,360 Totally agree. 2387 01:34:18,930 --> 01:34:19,930 Holy shit. 2388 01:34:20,530 --> 01:34:23,200 My first time in Michigan. It's cold as balls here. 2389 01:34:24,370 --> 01:34:25,370 Yeah. 2390 01:34:25,410 --> 01:34:27,760 Dude, that's fucking great! 2391 01:34:28,570 --> 01:34:29,710 Do it Ned Fleming style. 2392 01:34:29,890 --> 01:34:31,440 Old school! 2393 01:34:31,650 --> 01:34:32,710 Fuck yes. 2394 01:34:35,050 --> 01:34:36,600 Okay. Well, look... 2395 01:34:36,770 --> 01:34:38,780 I'll go in there and see if I can get her to come out. 2396 01:34:38,810 --> 01:34:39,810 Okay. 2397 01:34:39,930 --> 01:34:41,600 Good luck. Thanks. 2398 01:34:45,090 --> 01:34:47,120 Hey, promise me one thing. 2399 01:34:48,250 --> 01:34:49,920 You will treat her well. 2400 01:34:51,490 --> 01:34:54,440 Dude, I'm gonna treat her like a motherfucking queen. 2401 01:34:56,290 --> 01:34:57,480 I'll take that. 2402 01:34:57,650 --> 01:34:58,650 Okay. 2403 01:35:00,610 --> 01:35:02,760 Gustav, change of plans. 2404 01:35:02,930 --> 01:35:05,520 We're go on the proposal. No go on all that other shit. 2405 01:35:05,610 --> 01:35:06,610 I have only one bar. 2406 01:35:06,770 --> 01:35:08,160 You're saying we are a go, yes? 2407 01:35:08,330 --> 01:35:09,920 No. No go. 2408 01:35:10,090 --> 01:35:12,080 Go on the proposal, no go on the shit. 2409 01:35:12,250 --> 01:35:14,160 Laird, are you saying it's a no go 2410 01:35:14,330 --> 01:35:16,440 or are you saying, "No. Go."? 2411 01:35:16,530 --> 01:35:17,590 God damn it, Goose. 2412 01:35:17,850 --> 01:35:19,620 You're making me fucking nervous. Just shut up. 2413 01:35:19,650 --> 01:35:21,240 Oh, I'm sorry. Good luck. 2414 01:35:21,450 --> 01:35:23,750 Oh, and by the way, please, Laird, breathe. 2415 01:35:26,690 --> 01:35:27,720 Okay. 2416 01:35:27,810 --> 01:35:29,800 And no cursing, okay? 2417 01:35:29,970 --> 01:35:31,480 Fuck, you're right. Good call. 2418 01:35:33,610 --> 01:35:34,720 Hi. 2419 01:35:37,770 --> 01:35:39,120 I'm sorry. 2420 01:35:39,770 --> 01:35:43,280 I know that out in California I disappointed you 2421 01:35:43,450 --> 01:35:45,320 and that kills me. 2422 01:35:45,490 --> 01:35:47,120 And I'm really sorry. 2423 01:35:50,650 --> 01:35:51,650 I'm sorry, too. 2424 01:35:53,690 --> 01:35:54,940 I threw you in the deep end out there. 2425 01:35:54,970 --> 01:35:56,370 I should've never asked you to come. 2426 01:35:56,490 --> 01:35:57,490 Honestly. No. 2427 01:35:57,650 --> 01:35:59,040 No, you didn't do anything wrong. 2428 01:35:59,210 --> 01:36:00,350 What was I thinking? 2429 01:36:00,530 --> 01:36:01,640 It was me. 2430 01:36:02,650 --> 01:36:05,030 It's just that, when we got out to Laird's... 2431 01:36:06,570 --> 01:36:09,360 I just didn't feel like I knew you anymore 2432 01:36:10,330 --> 01:36:12,000 and I got scared. 2433 01:36:13,850 --> 01:36:15,480 I just went crazy. 2434 01:36:18,210 --> 01:36:19,480 This is me. 2435 01:36:22,010 --> 01:36:23,360 I'm doing good. 2436 01:36:25,050 --> 01:36:26,360 Oh, Dad. 2437 01:36:32,610 --> 01:36:33,610 Oh, my God. 2438 01:36:33,770 --> 01:36:35,160 Okay, look. I forgot... 2439 01:36:35,330 --> 01:36:36,380 Oh, God. He's still out there. 2440 01:36:36,410 --> 01:36:37,470 I know. 2441 01:36:37,570 --> 01:36:38,820 In a tank top and a scarf. 2442 01:36:38,850 --> 01:36:40,060 And he knew we were coming to Michigan. 2443 01:36:40,090 --> 01:36:41,090 Yeah. 2444 01:36:41,250 --> 01:36:42,490 Why doesn't he just come inside? 2445 01:36:42,530 --> 01:36:43,860 He has to talk to you about something... 2446 01:36:43,890 --> 01:36:46,400 He kind of wants to make things right with you. 2447 01:36:46,570 --> 01:36:48,000 Oh, does he? Yeah. 2448 01:36:48,170 --> 01:36:51,240 I think it'd be cool if you gave him a chance. 2449 01:36:53,210 --> 01:36:55,510 You want me to give Laird a chance? 2450 01:36:55,690 --> 01:36:59,440 I thought that if you saw fit to give him a chance... 2451 01:36:59,610 --> 01:37:02,240 I thought that it'd be cool. 2452 01:37:04,690 --> 01:37:05,690 That's all. Well? 2453 01:37:05,810 --> 01:37:07,400 Hi. Hey. 2454 01:37:07,570 --> 01:37:09,520 What's going on? Oh, my God, it's cold out here. 2455 01:37:09,730 --> 01:37:11,880 I know you're pissed, but just hear me out. 2456 01:37:12,050 --> 01:37:13,440 Can we talk inside? No. 2457 01:37:13,610 --> 01:37:14,610 Oh, my... Look. 2458 01:37:14,730 --> 01:37:17,360 Oh, my God. It's so romantic. 2459 01:37:17,570 --> 01:37:18,760 I told him to keep it simple. 2460 01:37:18,930 --> 01:37:20,120 Oh, our little girl. 2461 01:37:20,290 --> 01:37:22,420 He's gonna get down to his knee and keep it real simple. 2462 01:37:22,450 --> 01:37:23,720 How do you know all this? 2463 01:37:23,890 --> 01:37:25,030 I gave him a few pointers. 2464 01:37:25,210 --> 01:37:26,430 Oh. 2465 01:37:27,610 --> 01:37:29,440 This has been the happiest year of my life. 2466 01:37:31,410 --> 01:37:34,560 And fly! Go, go, go! Go! 2467 01:37:36,410 --> 01:37:38,240 Oh, no. What? 2468 01:37:40,570 --> 01:37:41,570 Ah. 2469 01:37:42,930 --> 01:37:44,920 Oh, my God. 2470 01:37:45,090 --> 01:37:47,120 Goose. God damn it. I said no go! No go! 2471 01:37:47,290 --> 01:37:48,320 Oh, my... 2472 01:37:48,410 --> 01:37:49,440 Oh, gosh. Wow. 2473 01:37:49,570 --> 01:37:50,620 Why did he do that? Smart boy. 2474 01:37:50,650 --> 01:37:52,680 Absolute fucking shit fest. 2475 01:37:53,690 --> 01:37:55,400 Babe, I'm so sorry. Uh... 2476 01:37:58,650 --> 01:38:00,120 Stephanie Fleming... 2477 01:38:00,650 --> 01:38:02,000 will you... Are you proposing? 2478 01:38:02,170 --> 01:38:03,960 Yeah. 2479 01:38:04,090 --> 01:38:05,800 Mmm-hmm. 2480 01:38:05,930 --> 01:38:07,240 Did my dad know about this? 2481 01:38:07,810 --> 01:38:09,560 Yeah, I asked for his blessing 2482 01:38:09,650 --> 01:38:11,080 that first morning back in Cali. 2483 01:38:11,290 --> 01:38:13,320 Oh, my God. 2484 01:38:13,650 --> 01:38:14,760 Oh, my God! 2485 01:38:14,930 --> 01:38:17,440 No wonder he acted so crazy. Honey. 2486 01:38:17,610 --> 01:38:19,520 Yeah, that's why he was a little out of whack. 2487 01:38:19,690 --> 01:38:21,760 Yeah, we could have had a really nice holiday. 2488 01:38:21,970 --> 01:38:24,640 I know. But we're all good now. Okay? 2489 01:38:24,810 --> 01:38:26,960 This is a lot. 2490 01:38:28,290 --> 01:38:29,840 Oh, my God. Stephanie Fleming... 2491 01:38:30,010 --> 01:38:31,410 That's a ring. 2492 01:38:32,530 --> 01:38:34,320 Goose! No! 2493 01:38:38,970 --> 01:38:40,960 And, go! Go, guys! Go, go, go! 2494 01:38:41,850 --> 01:38:43,120 Stephanie! 2495 01:38:44,530 --> 01:38:45,530 Oh, my God. 2496 01:38:57,490 --> 01:39:00,800 Laird, what is Kiss doing here? 2497 01:39:01,650 --> 01:39:02,790 Um, well... 2498 01:39:05,010 --> 01:39:06,040 Is that... Whoa! 2499 01:39:06,170 --> 01:39:07,360 He got look-a-likes! 2500 01:39:07,530 --> 01:39:09,480 Those aren't look-a-likes, Ned. 2501 01:39:09,570 --> 01:39:10,840 That's Gene and Paul. 2502 01:39:11,010 --> 01:39:14,000 It's Gene and Paul! Gene and Paul! 2503 01:39:14,170 --> 01:39:16,200 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 2504 01:39:16,370 --> 01:39:17,760 Kiss is in the front yard! 2505 01:39:17,930 --> 01:39:20,390 Tonight 2506 01:39:20,610 --> 01:39:22,990 I wanna give it all to you 2507 01:39:24,890 --> 01:39:25,890 In the darkness 2508 01:39:26,050 --> 01:39:28,720 Originally, I had this more elaborate proposal plan 2509 01:39:28,890 --> 01:39:30,560 but your dad gave me this awesome advice 2510 01:39:30,690 --> 01:39:31,830 and told me not to do it. 2511 01:39:32,010 --> 01:39:33,400 But they're here, 2512 01:39:33,530 --> 01:39:35,400 and I know how much you love their music, so... 2513 01:39:35,570 --> 01:39:36,840 What? Hi. 2514 01:39:37,010 --> 01:39:40,760 I was made for lovin' you, baby 2515 01:39:40,930 --> 01:39:44,680 You were made for lovin' me 2516 01:39:44,850 --> 01:39:46,680 And I can't get... 2517 01:39:50,210 --> 01:39:52,080 Is he still proposing? What's... 2518 01:39:52,250 --> 01:39:53,680 They've stopped playing now. 2519 01:39:53,890 --> 01:39:55,800 - His name's Ned. - Oh, my God, are they... 2520 01:39:55,930 --> 01:39:56,930 What? 2521 01:39:57,050 --> 01:39:58,060 Are they coming in the... Oh, my God. 2522 01:39:58,090 --> 01:39:59,180 They're coming up the sidewalk! 2523 01:39:59,210 --> 01:40:00,210 They're heading in! 2524 01:40:00,290 --> 01:40:01,850 They're coming in our house! Oh, my God! 2525 01:40:01,890 --> 01:40:03,800 Everybody act natural! Act naturally! 2526 01:40:03,970 --> 01:40:05,190 I have to redecorate the house! 2527 01:40:16,650 --> 01:40:17,710 Hey. 2528 01:40:17,890 --> 01:40:18,890 Hi. 2529 01:40:19,050 --> 01:40:20,080 Hi. 2530 01:40:22,250 --> 01:40:23,390 Uh, hi. 2531 01:40:24,570 --> 01:40:26,080 - I'm Ned. - Hey, Ned. 2532 01:40:26,250 --> 01:40:27,390 Hi! Hi! 2533 01:40:27,570 --> 01:40:29,160 This is my wife, Barb. 2534 01:40:29,330 --> 01:40:30,720 This is our friends, Lou and Patty. 2535 01:40:30,810 --> 01:40:31,950 It's Lou. 2536 01:40:32,130 --> 01:40:33,560 So excited you're here. 2537 01:40:33,730 --> 01:40:37,000 I gotta tell you. Uh, we are huge fans. 2538 01:40:37,170 --> 01:40:40,840 We've been members of the Kiss Army for, like, 30 years now. 2539 01:40:41,010 --> 01:40:43,640 Yeah. Our first date was the Crazy Nights Tour. 2540 01:40:43,810 --> 01:40:46,240 Yeah! And, boy, was that crazy. 2541 01:40:46,330 --> 01:40:47,390 Crazy. 2542 01:40:48,130 --> 01:40:49,130 Did you get laid? 2543 01:40:52,450 --> 01:40:53,450 Um... 2544 01:40:54,610 --> 01:40:56,280 I gave him a handjob. 2545 01:40:57,330 --> 01:40:58,840 Scotty. 2546 01:40:59,290 --> 01:41:00,960 I'm having an awesome time, 2547 01:41:01,090 --> 01:41:02,440 but are you having a buffet here? 2548 01:41:02,610 --> 01:41:04,160 Oh, my God. What was I thinking? 2549 01:41:04,330 --> 01:41:05,760 Are you hungry? Starving. 2550 01:41:05,930 --> 01:41:07,680 Oh, God, of course! Where's our manners? 2551 01:41:07,770 --> 01:41:08,800 We're terrible hosts. 2552 01:41:08,970 --> 01:41:10,100 Let's get those guitars, guys. 2553 01:41:10,130 --> 01:41:11,320 Come on, let me get that axe. 2554 01:41:12,610 --> 01:41:13,670 See my body? 2555 01:41:13,770 --> 01:41:14,770 Wow! Kiss is in our house! 2556 01:41:14,850 --> 01:41:18,000 Yeah. I'm kind of juiced up a little bit. 2557 01:41:18,450 --> 01:41:20,320 Oh! I almost forgot about them. 2558 01:41:20,490 --> 01:41:22,320 Well... The happy couple. 2559 01:41:22,490 --> 01:41:23,960 Congratulations. 2560 01:41:24,490 --> 01:41:25,800 She said no. 2561 01:41:26,690 --> 01:41:27,690 I'm sorry, what? 2562 01:41:27,850 --> 01:41:29,120 She said no. 2563 01:41:31,010 --> 01:41:32,010 Well... 2564 01:41:33,690 --> 01:41:34,830 Honey. 2565 01:41:35,490 --> 01:41:37,120 I'm so flattered 2566 01:41:37,330 --> 01:41:39,320 that you wanna marry me 2567 01:41:39,810 --> 01:41:40,850 but I'm not ready for that. 2568 01:41:44,370 --> 01:41:45,680 And I'm gonna finish school. 2569 01:41:45,850 --> 01:41:47,160 For me. 2570 01:41:47,330 --> 01:41:48,800 Because that's what I wanna do. 2571 01:41:49,010 --> 01:41:50,480 Got it? 2572 01:41:50,650 --> 01:41:52,320 That's really smart. 2573 01:41:52,490 --> 01:41:55,240 It's just, I had this big plan 2574 01:41:56,370 --> 01:41:57,640 and it didn't work out. 2575 01:41:58,490 --> 01:42:00,560 Yeah. Well, that's life, pal. 2576 01:42:02,530 --> 01:42:05,200 That is so well put, Ned. 2577 01:42:06,010 --> 01:42:07,680 It's really, really smart. 2578 01:42:07,850 --> 01:42:09,520 Dude, did you come up with that? 2579 01:42:09,690 --> 01:42:11,320 The words, "That's life?" 2580 01:42:11,530 --> 01:42:14,160 Ned, you're so full of practical wisdom... 2581 01:42:15,010 --> 01:42:16,140 I was just really looking forward 2582 01:42:16,170 --> 01:42:17,390 to you being my father-in-law. 2583 01:42:17,610 --> 01:42:18,610 Aw. 2584 01:42:19,690 --> 01:42:21,600 I'm not breaking up with you. 2585 01:42:21,770 --> 01:42:22,770 You're not? 2586 01:42:22,890 --> 01:42:23,890 No, honey. 2587 01:42:24,050 --> 01:42:25,530 No, no, no. I'm still your girlfriend. 2588 01:42:25,610 --> 01:42:27,320 We're still together. 2589 01:42:27,410 --> 01:42:28,410 Oh. 2590 01:42:29,770 --> 01:42:31,040 Oh, thank God! 2591 01:42:31,210 --> 01:42:32,240 Come here. 2592 01:42:43,210 --> 01:42:44,350 Merry Christmas. 2593 01:42:44,530 --> 01:42:45,530 Ned. Hey. 2594 01:42:45,650 --> 01:42:47,200 Dude, your employees are so cool. 2595 01:42:47,370 --> 01:42:48,640 Yeah, they are. 2596 01:42:48,810 --> 01:42:50,960 Maybe it was wrong of me to interfere like that, 2597 01:42:51,130 --> 01:42:52,920 but why don't you let me save your company? 2598 01:42:54,290 --> 01:42:56,040 No, Laird, I can't. 2599 01:42:56,210 --> 01:42:58,200 That old model doesn't work anymore. 2600 01:42:58,410 --> 01:43:00,240 I guess... I don't know. 2601 01:43:00,450 --> 01:43:02,240 I guess I just didn't want to believe it. 2602 01:43:03,090 --> 01:43:04,720 But since you mentioned it... 2603 01:43:04,890 --> 01:43:07,040 I do have a business idea I wanna run by you. 2604 01:43:07,250 --> 01:43:08,760 Dude, elevator pitch me! 2605 01:43:08,930 --> 01:43:10,120 Okay. 2606 01:43:11,490 --> 01:43:12,760 No, hold on. 2607 01:43:12,930 --> 01:43:15,280 This wasn't my idea at all. One second. 2608 01:43:15,450 --> 01:43:17,200 - Scotty, come here. - Yo, what's up? 2609 01:43:17,290 --> 01:43:18,290 Come here. Yeah? 2610 01:43:18,410 --> 01:43:19,900 I want you to tell Laird about the business idea 2611 01:43:19,930 --> 01:43:21,320 you mentioned on the plane. 2612 01:43:21,490 --> 01:43:22,490 Go ahead. Wait, really? 2613 01:43:22,570 --> 01:43:23,570 Yeah. 2614 01:43:23,650 --> 01:43:25,370 Told you to get that seat at the table, bro. 2615 01:43:25,410 --> 01:43:27,010 You did. He told me, Dad. He was, like... 2616 01:43:27,130 --> 01:43:28,220 "You're gonna get that seat." 2617 01:43:28,250 --> 01:43:29,660 I can't believe I finally got the seat. 2618 01:43:29,690 --> 01:43:30,910 Dragons and titties, baby. 2619 01:43:31,090 --> 01:43:32,920 Dragons and titties! 2620 01:43:33,170 --> 01:43:34,570 Breathe that fire. 2621 01:43:34,690 --> 01:43:35,690 Get up in there. 2622 01:43:36,770 --> 01:43:38,480 Get up in those titties! 2623 01:43:38,650 --> 01:43:39,970 Gonna get those dragons. 2624 01:43:40,770 --> 01:43:41,910 Dad... 2625 01:43:42,450 --> 01:43:43,760 Scotty! 2626 01:43:43,930 --> 01:43:46,490 Stop motorboating your dad, and elevator pitch me. 2627 01:43:46,610 --> 01:43:48,080 Sorry. Uh... 2628 01:43:48,450 --> 01:43:51,280 Laird, I can't stop thinking about your toilets, dude. 2629 01:43:51,450 --> 01:43:53,120 My toilets? Yeah. 2630 01:43:53,290 --> 01:43:54,920 The fresh feeling, the scented talc. 2631 01:43:55,130 --> 01:43:57,280 I was thinking if you can get the controls in English 2632 01:43:57,450 --> 01:43:59,210 and maybe lower the price point a little bit, 2633 01:43:59,290 --> 01:44:00,420 we could have a potentially untapped 2634 01:44:00,450 --> 01:44:01,450 market here in America. 2635 01:44:01,490 --> 01:44:03,120 Oh, shit. Right? 2636 01:44:03,290 --> 01:44:04,940 And look, we can contact a Japanese manufacturer 2637 01:44:04,970 --> 01:44:06,000 about pricing... Ooh. 2638 01:44:06,170 --> 01:44:08,520 No, Scotty. Pardon my French, but fuck that noise. 2639 01:44:09,130 --> 01:44:10,160 Whoa. 2640 01:44:10,290 --> 01:44:13,280 Listen. We have a factory right here in Grand Rapids 2641 01:44:13,450 --> 01:44:15,640 with 37 of the best employees you're ever gonna want. 2642 01:44:15,810 --> 01:44:17,720 Let's build our own. 2643 01:44:18,810 --> 01:44:20,720 Hells yes, Grateful Ned! Yeah! 2644 01:44:20,810 --> 01:44:22,200 Boom! 2645 01:44:24,370 --> 01:44:25,480 Okay, sorry. Yeah. 2646 01:44:30,010 --> 01:44:35,840 The first noel the angels did say 2647 01:44:36,050 --> 01:44:41,360 Was to certain poor shepherds In fields as they lay 2648 01:44:41,530 --> 01:44:47,080 In fields where they lay keeping their sheep 2649 01:44:47,250 --> 01:44:52,760 On a cold winter's night that was so deep 2650 01:44:52,930 --> 01:44:54,480 Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel 2651 01:44:54,690 --> 01:44:57,520 It turned out to be a pretty cool holiday after all, huh? 2652 01:44:58,370 --> 01:44:59,510 It did, son. 2653 01:45:01,450 --> 01:45:02,450 Dude. 2654 01:45:03,010 --> 01:45:04,010 What? 2655 01:45:04,090 --> 01:45:05,970 Told you you'd be calling me "son" by Christmas. 2656 01:45:06,010 --> 01:45:07,800 Oh. 2657 01:45:07,890 --> 01:45:09,680 That's just a figure of speech. 2658 01:45:09,850 --> 01:45:10,880 Sure, Dad. 2659 01:45:17,450 --> 01:45:25,450 Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight 2660 01:45:31,530 --> 01:45:34,200 Hello there, you gang! It is I, Gustav. 2661 01:45:34,370 --> 01:45:36,640 It's so great to see you! 2662 01:45:36,810 --> 01:45:39,370 Hey, what do you think of the new facial hair, huh? 2663 01:45:39,570 --> 01:45:41,360 I'm based in Michigan now, so you know... 2664 01:45:41,570 --> 01:45:42,780 I'm trying to do this whole kind of 2665 01:45:42,810 --> 01:45:44,120 Paul Bunyan, Midwestern thing. 2666 01:45:44,290 --> 01:45:45,410 I wanted to fill it all out. 2667 01:45:46,090 --> 01:45:49,040 So Scotty, Laird, and Ned took the printing company... 2668 01:45:49,290 --> 01:45:50,420 turned it into a toilet factory... 2669 01:45:50,450 --> 01:45:51,920 and it's going great! 2670 01:45:52,090 --> 01:45:54,960 The toilet is water efficient und eco-friendly. 2671 01:45:55,050 --> 01:45:56,440 It's state of the art. 2672 01:45:56,610 --> 01:45:59,720 I'm telling you, they have invented the Tesla of toilets! 2673 01:46:00,210 --> 01:46:01,430 It's amazing. 2674 01:46:01,610 --> 01:46:03,280 Barbara has made sure that each toilet 2675 01:46:03,370 --> 01:46:05,080 has a state of the art vaginal cleanse. 2676 01:46:05,530 --> 01:46:09,840 You know exactly what I'm saying. 2677 01:46:10,010 --> 01:46:11,560 Every single model comes with Justine. 2678 01:46:11,730 --> 01:46:12,770 Talk about a smart toilet. 2679 01:46:12,930 --> 01:46:14,140 She knows if you need a little sploosh 2680 01:46:14,170 --> 01:46:15,170 or if you actually need 2681 01:46:15,250 --> 01:46:16,770 the fountains of the Bellagio up there. 2682 01:46:18,570 --> 01:46:21,000 Scotty has finally got his seat at the table. 2683 01:46:21,650 --> 01:46:22,680 It's beautiful. 2684 01:46:22,930 --> 01:46:24,640 He went a little too far with the dragons, 2685 01:46:24,730 --> 01:46:26,210 and the titties, and the motorboating. 2686 01:46:27,770 --> 01:46:28,770 Oy vey. 2687 01:46:29,530 --> 01:46:30,590 Oh, Miss Stephanie. 2688 01:46:30,890 --> 01:46:33,270 She had the idea to link the Fleming-Mayhew company 2689 01:46:33,450 --> 01:46:35,240 with the new foundation. 2690 01:46:35,370 --> 01:46:37,600 So now, they're sponsoring sewage projects 2691 01:46:37,770 --> 01:46:39,880 all over the Third World. I told you. 2692 01:46:39,970 --> 01:46:42,400 Smart, smart, smart girl. 2693 01:46:42,970 --> 01:46:45,800 So, things are working out really well for the gang here. 2694 01:46:46,210 --> 01:46:47,680 The company is a smashing success. 2695 01:46:48,290 --> 01:46:49,840 And my dear Laird 2696 01:46:50,250 --> 01:46:52,440 has finally gotten what he's always wanted. 2697 01:46:52,890 --> 01:46:54,160 To be part of a family. 2698 01:46:57,610 --> 01:46:59,320 All right, ciao for now, you friends. 2699 01:46:59,410 --> 01:47:00,550 Until we meet again. 2700 01:47:00,730 --> 01:47:02,740 Laird, it doesn't count as a sneak attack if I can see... 2701 01:47:02,770 --> 01:47:04,520 Fuck you, Goose! Scheisse! 2702 01:47:07,250 --> 01:47:11,800 I wanna rock and roll all night 2703 01:47:12,810 --> 01:47:14,880 And party every day 2704 01:47:15,250 --> 01:47:18,600 I wanna rock and roll all night 2705 01:47:19,770 --> 01:47:21,560 And party every day 2706 01:47:25,010 --> 01:47:27,720 You keep on saying you'll be mine for a while 2707 01:47:28,250 --> 01:47:31,360 You're looking fancy and I like your style 2708 01:47:31,890 --> 01:47:36,160 You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy 2709 01:47:39,250 --> 01:47:41,960 You show us everything you've got 2710 01:47:42,370 --> 01:47:44,960 Baby, baby, it's quite a lot 2711 01:47:45,690 --> 01:47:50,160 You drive us wild, we 'll drive you crazy 2712 01:47:52,490 --> 01:47:55,600 You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting 2713 01:47:58,730 --> 01:48:03,200 I wanna rock and roll all night 2714 01:48:04,290 --> 01:48:06,080 And party every day 2715 01:48:06,250 --> 01:48:10,030 I wanna rock and roll all night 2716 01:48:11,290 --> 01:48:13,080 And party every day 2717 01:48:13,210 --> 01:48:16,960 I wanna rock and roll all night 2718 01:48:17,930 --> 01:48:19,720 And party every day 2719 01:48:19,850 --> 01:48:23,390 I wanna rock and roll all night 2720 01:48:24,610 --> 01:48:26,360 And party every day