1 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,696 [ Bzzzzz ] 2 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:39,200 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 3 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,816 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 4 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,480 * On the edge of outer space * 5 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:27,948 * Space, space, space 6 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,518 * She's the one with a serious face * 7 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:34,188 * Face, face, face face, face * 8 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,589 * When I dropped in, checked it out * 9 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,791 * Alien girls were all about * 10 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,494 * Eons since I had a date * 11 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:43,664 * Another light-year's too long to wait * 12 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,333 * Earth girls are easy 13 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,368 * Earth girls, so easy 14 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:50,238 * Earth girls 15 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,410 * Hey, those girls are loads of fun * 16 00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,479 * Fun, fun, fun, fun 17 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,548 * Even hotter than the sun * 18 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,384 * Sun, sun, sun 19 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,886 * You know that I've had lots of girls * 20 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,222 * Most of them from other worlds * 21 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,324 * While trippin' through the galaxy * 22 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,327 * The valley girls are the ones for me * 23 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,529 * Earth girls are easy 24 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,631 * Earth girls, so easy 25 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:20,301 * Earth girls 26 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,797 * Earth girls 27 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,401 * Girls 28 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,837 * You know that I've had lots of girls * 29 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,906 * Most of them from other worlds * 30 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,008 * Eons since I had a date * 31 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,545 * Another light-year's too long to wait * 32 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,347 * Earth girls are easy 33 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,349 * Earth girls, so easy 34 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,251 * Earth girls 35 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,055 * Earth girls are easy 36 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,291 * Earth girls, so easy 37 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,360 * Earth girls 38 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,394 * Earth girls 39 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,829 * So easy 40 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,397 * So easy, so easy 41 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,833 * Earth girls 42 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,267 * Earth girls * 43 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,499 [ Door Opens ] 44 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,401 Valerie. 45 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,102 [ Hiss ] 46 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,937 I'm home. 47 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:08,108 You're not supposed to see me in this before the wedding. 48 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,710 It's bad luck. 49 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,712 Don't worry about it. 50 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,447 I mean, sweetheart, 51 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:17,751 it's just some stupid superstition anyway. 52 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,986 Yeah, you're right. 53 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,589 We met on Friday the 13th 54 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,425 and look how happy we are. 55 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,694 Ted, what happened? You said 11:00. 56 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,697 Sorry, Val. It was blood and guts night 57 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,700 at the old emergency room. 58 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,934 Again? 59 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,705 I wish you'd called me. 60 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,840 I would have but, you know, 61 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:43,110 five minutes on the phone could, uh, 62 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,445 cost a life. 63 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,079 Oh. 64 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,082 I'm ready, Teddy. 65 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,555 Oh, what a day. 66 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,426 Oh, boy. 67 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,898 I was fluffing it for you. 68 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,479 Could you get the light, please? 69 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,423 Teddy... 70 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,792 look what I found. 71 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,427 Sweetheart, I'm sorry. 72 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,196 I have to take out a gall bladder 73 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,432 first thing in the morning. 74 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,200 Tomorrow night. I promise. 75 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:44,204 I won't be here. I'll be at the nail expo. 76 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,440 The cuticle convention, remember? 77 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,208 I'll be gone till Monday. 78 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,478 Well, Monday, then. I promise. 79 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,784 I was reading an ad for these pyramids 80 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,786 you put over the bed. 81 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,221 They're supposed to increase sexual energy. 82 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,190 Valerie, please. 83 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:06,159 Good night, sweetheart. 84 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,861 'Night. 85 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,770 K-Earth 101 southland weather-- 86 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,772 Another gorgeous day in L.A. 87 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,642 Sunny and warm. 86 degrees in Malibu. 88 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,645 94 in the valley. 88 in Hollywood. 89 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,980 That's K-Earth 101 news. I'm Claudia Marshall. 90 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:31,985 * It's the summer of love, love, love * 91 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:35,055 * I'm in love with love, love, love * 92 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:39,593 * For everyone transcends who * 93 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,262 * I'm thinking of you 94 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,131 * Boy 95 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,999 * Love energy 96 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,736 * Is giving us a shove 97 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:54,074 * Making this the summer of love ** 98 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,643 Hi, Miss Lana. 99 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,077 I'm so sorry. 100 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,079 I missed our appointment. 101 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,048 You look so great. 102 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,050 That's a great outfit. 103 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,153 Thanks, dear. That door is a real bitch. 104 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,621 Hi, Val. 105 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,022 Good morning. 106 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,992 It's a really good color for me. 107 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,594 Wow. 108 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,597 You need a fill. 109 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,998 Uh, morning, all. 110 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,600 Good morning. 111 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:23,637 You better have a note from your mother, young lady. 112 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,006 * He's showing off his body... ** 113 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,608 I don't know. 114 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,611 I'm just not that turned on by her lately. 115 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,614 I hear oysters are good for potency. 116 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,616 I tried that, 117 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,117 but they kept slipping off. 118 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,654 If I was any more potent, I'd kill somebody. 119 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,022 Whoa! Oh, right! 120 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,625 I gave this cute little nurse 121 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:47,060 a ride home the other night. 122 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,896 And? And? 123 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,765 And nothing. I'm getting married next month. 124 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,001 And why are you so tardy? 125 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,605 I was up real late last night with Ted. 126 00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,007 Dr. Dolittle finally came through, huh? 127 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,610 No. He was dead on arrival. 128 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,345 Again? Sanka? Sure. 129 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,348 At the rate we've been having sex, 130 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,351 we might as well be married already. 131 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,587 It's been, like, a week? 132 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,789 Two weeks. 133 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:19,927 Valerie, Ted's obviously a victim of PMS. 134 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,930 What? Premarital stress. 135 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,599 Oh. What'll snap him out of it? 136 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,967 A new woman. 137 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,602 Thanks. 138 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,003 Wait. That's it! 139 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,106 We'll make you a new woman. 140 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,275 This is great. Watch this. 141 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,111 Let's see how you look on the makeover machine. 142 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,346 Oh, housewife from hell. 143 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,250 Matron on drugs. 144 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,018 Look at that. 145 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,888 That's it. We'll make you blonde 146 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,022 with blue eyes. 147 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,125 Maybe when I get back from the expo-- 148 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,362 Skip the expo. Stay home and ambush Ted. 149 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,998 What if he doesn't like it? 150 00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:02,302 At this point, what have you got to lose? 151 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,672 Come on. We're doing a makeover. 152 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,808 Ooh! Ooh! 153 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,177 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Come on! 154 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,645 A perm. 155 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,746 A perm. 156 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,915 A butch. 157 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,750 A facial. 158 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,852 A body wrap. 159 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:19,887 Gravel scrub. 160 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,889 A gravel scrub. 161 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,791 Bikini wax. 162 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,392 We'll do it all. 163 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,960 All right! 164 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,674 * It's time to face the music, it's time to make you see * 165 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:44,912 * The root of all your problems is that you don't look like me * 166 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:49,182 * Now this is gonna hurt you, but I just got to say * 167 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:53,921 * Your love life's going nowhere 'cause you look like Doris Day * 168 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,188 * Who's the one they can't resist? * 169 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,825 * The brand new girl 170 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,760 * Who's on the most wanted list? * 171 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,161 * The brand new girl 172 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,031 * Honey, if you vixenize * 173 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,033 * Guaranteed he'll get a rise * 174 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,168 * Believe me, you can be a brand new * 175 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,402 * Brand new 176 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,071 * Brand new 177 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,439 * Brand new 178 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,907 * Brand new 179 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:14,775 * Brand new girl 180 00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,744 Ow! 181 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,712 Rrrroww! 182 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,452 Aah! 183 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,187 * You're cute and fresh and wholesome * 184 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,222 * But science has a cure 185 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,792 * The natural look is nowhere * 186 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,460 * Your hairdresser knows for sure * 187 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,362 * You got to learn the art of teasing * 188 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,831 * Change your repertoire 189 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,033 * All you need's a little faith * 190 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,102 * And a see-through pushup bra * 191 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,141 * If you want to be a femme fatale * 192 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,343 * You can't rest on your L'oreals * 193 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,045 * You know, I think she might be right * 194 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,414 * Grab the bleach, she's seen the light * 195 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,183 Ow! Ow! 196 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,785 * Maybelline 197 00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:58,752 Ooh. 198 00:11:58,786 --> 00:11:59,820 * Revlon 199 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,788 Aah. 200 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,455 * Rubbermaid 201 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,758 * Talk to me, Max Factor * 202 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,393 * Who's the one they can't resist? * 203 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,361 * The brand new girl 204 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,297 * Who's on the most wanted list? * 205 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,432 * The brand new girl 206 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,768 * Honey, if you vixenize * 207 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,303 * Guaranteed he'll get a rise * 208 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,306 * Believe me, you can be a brand new * 209 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,308 * Brand new 210 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,109 * Brand new 211 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,177 * Brand new 212 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,179 * Brand 213 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,248 * New 214 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:32,953 * Girl 215 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,154 * Girl * 216 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:39,893 [ Stereo Playing Theme From Love Story ] 217 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,930 Hello, Dr. Gallagher. 218 00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,898 Surprised? 219 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:49,302 Yes, it's me. 220 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:52,305 Oh! Tsk. Tsk. Dr. Gallagher. 221 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,408 Why are you looking at me like that? 222 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,312 You want to do what? 223 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:02,883 Oh, no, no. I couldn't. 224 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,284 No. 225 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,219 No, please. Stop. 226 00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,821 No, no. 227 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,857 Well... 228 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,491 all right. 229 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,262 OK. 230 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,831 Let's see. 231 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:22,102 Now, champagne, flowers, 232 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,104 sushi, feathers, 233 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,874 um, sensual oil, 234 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,241 right, 235 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,879 and incense or... let's see. 236 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,848 "Sprinkle a light bulb with your favorite perfume 237 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:38,385 to sensualize the atmosphere of your love trap." 238 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,991 [ Record Skips ] 239 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,229 [ Ssss! ] 240 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,165 [ Pop! ] 241 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,501 Oh, no! 242 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,370 [ Car Door Closes ] 243 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,572 Oh, God. He's here. 244 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:18,225 Well, this is where we live. 245 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,626 We? 246 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,628 Yeah. Uh, you know, 247 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:26,066 me and, uh, the cat-- Bambi. 248 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,471 Just make yourself at home, 249 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,173 all right? 250 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,051 [ Rrrr ] 251 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,318 [ Hiss ] 252 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:57,264 "How to Drive a Man Crazy." 253 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,137 [ Toilet Flushes ] 254 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,574 Aah! 255 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,410 Eat me, I'm a cookie! 256 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,480 I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. 257 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:16,116 I didn't know Ted had company. 258 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,517 I'm Valerie. 259 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:20,120 I don't usually dress like this. 260 00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,389 Here comes Dr. Love. 261 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,527 All right, Robin, a pileup. 262 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,696 Who's your friend? 263 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,099 Shit! Val. 264 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,101 Ted, what are you doing? 265 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,069 Uh, gee, nothing. 266 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:38,438 Wh-What is going on here? 267 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,373 You brought her home to have sex? 268 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,442 You weren't supposed to be here. 269 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,412 You were going to have sex without me? 270 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,980 Of course not. 271 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,350 I don't know what you two had in mind, 272 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,986 but I'm not into kinky scenes. 273 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,387 Bye. 274 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,755 You look incredible. 275 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,092 Honey, she doesn't mean a thing to me. 276 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,661 If meaningless sex is what you want, 277 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,496 why can't you have it with me! 278 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,999 I made a stupid mistake. 279 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:09,136 I wanted a last fling, that's all. 280 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,771 You can't expect me to be more evolved. 281 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,574 Evolved? I'll show you evolved. 282 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,011 Wait a minute. No. Now, don't do that. 283 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,446 That's very dangerous. 284 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,414 Cut it--Val, stop it! 285 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,749 Cut it out! 286 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:26,553 Val, come on! 287 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,555 The neighbors are watching! 288 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,491 Val, open up. 289 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,161 Sweetheart, open the door! 290 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,429 You're wanted in emergency, Dr. Love. 291 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:40,033 You can't do this to me! I'm a doctor! 292 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:45,705 Here! Take these with you, Dr. Love. 293 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,309 And don't come back! 294 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,114 [ Muttering ] 295 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,284 [ Car Starts ] 296 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,418 Ted! 297 00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,521 [ Tires Squeal ] 298 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,523 Ted! 299 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,259 Ted, where are you going? 300 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,402 Go to bed, Mrs. Merkin! 301 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,270 [ Reverberating ] Mrs. Merkin! Mrs. Merkin! 302 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,474 [ Meow ] 303 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:25,378 * You're a liar, and it took me forever * 304 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,148 * To figure that out 305 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,086 * You could switch on a smile * 306 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,189 * Pretend to be tender 307 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,859 * But I know now what you're all about * 308 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,129 * What a nightmare 309 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:46,766 * My friends thought you were a dream * 310 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:52,605 * You could switch on a smile * 311 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:55,208 * And seem so sincere 312 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:58,711 * But you don't even know what that means * 313 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:03,116 * I don't think you'll ever understand * 314 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:08,221 * Ooh, did cheating on me make you feel like a man? * 315 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:12,859 * I used to worship the ground you walk on * 316 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,663 * I did anything you wanted me to * 317 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:21,768 * I used to worship the ground you walk on * 318 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:27,407 * Now I've lost my faith in you * 319 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,108 [ Glass Shatters ] 320 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,713 * Aah 321 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,151 * Sunday mornings I'd wake up * 322 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:42,689 * Lie in bed watching you sleep * 323 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,394 * It was almost religious 324 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,929 * How I believed in you 325 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:54,301 * It hurt when you destroyed my belief * 326 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:58,505 * I don't think you'll ever understand * 327 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:03,476 * Ooh, did cheatin' on me make you feel like a man? * 328 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:07,347 * I used to worship the ground you walk on * 329 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:11,618 * I did anything you wanted me to * 330 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:17,424 * I used to worship the ground you walk on * 331 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:21,628 * Now I've lost my faith in you * 332 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:25,632 * Oh, I've lost my faith in you * 333 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:41,548 * I used to worship the ground you walk on * 334 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:45,885 * Didn't think I'd get by without you * 335 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:50,890 * Now I don't worship the ground you walk on * 336 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:55,695 * And I'm stronger than I knew * 337 00:19:55,728 --> 00:20:00,500 * I'm stronger than you knew ** 338 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,509 Come here, you. 339 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,744 No, Doctor. What about your wife? 340 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,681 She's in a coma. You're not. 341 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,617 No. Oh. 342 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,787 Mmm. Oh. 343 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,955 John? John? 344 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:26,426 Uh! Oh. 345 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,361 You weasel dick! 346 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,498 [ Telephone Rings ] 347 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:34,367 Hello. Oh, Candy, 348 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:37,370 the worst thing in the world happened. 349 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,772 No, Bambi's fine. 350 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,374 It's Ted. 351 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,377 Yeah. The blonde thing did not work. 352 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,914 It's the show that shows the ins and outs 353 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,883 of the southern California fitness craze. 354 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,986 Let's face it. Inner beauty is for losers. 355 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:58,591 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 356 00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,894 Ooh. 357 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:23,976 Ha ha ha ha ha! 358 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,012 [ Bonk ] 359 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,080 Uh! 360 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,032 Whoa! 361 00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,604 Mac! 362 00:22:57,444 --> 00:23:00,480 Whoa! Whoa! 363 00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,092 Aah! 364 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,702 Oh, great. 365 00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:00,006 Oh, this is too good. 366 00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:03,876 There's a giant blow dryer in my pool. 367 00:24:12,519 --> 00:24:14,954 Oh, shit! 368 00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:18,625 Ted, you're not going to control my mind 369 00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,627 when you're not here. 370 00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:23,663 OK, just release all of this negative energy 371 00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:25,665 out into the universe. 372 00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:28,768 You're just going to swim right through it. 373 00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:41,648 [ Thud ] 374 00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:44,751 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 375 00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:27,827 [ Pop ] 376 00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,601 Oh, Teddy bear, 377 00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:36,268 you're back. 378 00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:42,241 Aah! 379 00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,611 Aah! Aah! 380 00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:46,178 Aah! Aah! Aah! 381 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,014 Oh! Oh! Oh! 382 00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:52,619 What is this? What's going on? 383 00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,854 This isn't what it looks like, is it? 384 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,989 Is it? Zis zit? 385 00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:59,626 Oh, my God, it is. 386 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:01,027 It's a spaceship. 387 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,630 Oh, like things weren't bad enough, 388 00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:06,365 now I've been abducted by a UFO. 389 00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:10,002 You're just going to do some experiments on me 390 00:26:10,036 --> 00:26:13,773 and let me go like in the National Enquire Right? 391 00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:16,676 Right? Right? Right? 392 00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:20,947 OK. OK. 393 00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:24,717 Just don't take out anything I'll need later. 394 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:31,924 Get it over with and let me go. 395 00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:38,164 I don't why you abducted me anyway. 396 00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,700 I'm sure you're looking for somebody more important 397 00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:43,235 like Nancy Reagan. 398 00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:46,005 I'll tell you where to find her 399 00:26:46,038 --> 00:26:48,374 because I'm just a manicurist. 400 00:26:48,407 --> 00:26:51,744 I don't know about anything except nails. 401 00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:52,912 You know, nails. 402 00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,947 Nails. Nails. Nails. 403 00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:01,220 Really. I could keep my mouth shut. 404 00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:04,423 You could tell me anything. I'd never tell. 405 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,425 Ask my cousin. 406 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,661 She got her boobs done, and I never told anyone. 407 00:27:10,329 --> 00:27:12,031 Except I just told you. 408 00:27:16,102 --> 00:27:19,205 Oh, my God. You're aliens. 409 00:27:19,238 --> 00:27:22,842 Ooh! Ooh! 410 00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,944 Ooh! 411 00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,312 Zeebo. 412 00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:30,649 Is that your name-- Zeebo? 413 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,320 Wiploc. 414 00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:36,956 Wiploc. Hi. 415 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,891 Makelsolakveder. 416 00:27:38,925 --> 00:27:42,194 Maybe I'll just call you Mac. How's that? 417 00:27:42,228 --> 00:27:44,196 Oh, and I'm Valerie. 418 00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:46,899 Valerie. Walerie.Volare. 419 00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:50,336 You guys aren't going to hurt me, are you? 420 00:27:53,139 --> 00:27:55,407 Your planet is weird. 421 00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:57,376 We're still in my pool. 422 00:27:57,409 --> 00:28:00,379 Oh. Oh! Oh! 423 00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:03,249 Listen, it was really nice meeting you, fellas, 424 00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:05,384 but I have to go. 425 00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,820 Feel free to use the pool, 426 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:10,790 but you've caught me at a bad time. 427 00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:11,958 [ Shouting ] 428 00:28:11,991 --> 00:28:13,492 Aah! 429 00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,928 Aah! Aah! 430 00:28:15,962 --> 00:28:18,330 [ Alarm Sounds ] 431 00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:26,906 [ Alarm Stops ] 432 00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:29,909 Did I do that? I flooded the ship. 433 00:28:29,942 --> 00:28:32,178 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. 434 00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:33,813 I'm really sorry, 435 00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:36,949 but I'm sure you can fix it, right? 436 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:40,920 Don't freak out. 437 00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:43,355 This is just like the time 438 00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:46,325 I dropped my lady schick in the toilet. 439 00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:49,461 After it dried out, it worked fine. 440 00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,938 Let's go in my house. I'll make some lunch, 441 00:28:58,971 --> 00:29:01,373 and I'll get the pool drained. 442 00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:05,277 Then you guys can take off back to your planet. 443 00:29:05,311 --> 00:29:06,879 Blast off. Pow. 444 00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:10,817 Bye-bye. Bye-bye. ¿Comprende? 445 00:29:10,850 --> 00:29:12,118 ¿Comprende? 446 00:29:12,151 --> 00:29:14,320 ¿Comprende? 447 00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:16,488 Comprende. 448 00:29:28,434 --> 00:29:31,938 Be careful. This ladder's a little loose. 449 00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:34,573 Oh, I'm glad you can breathe OK. 450 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:37,476 The air quality is actually very good today. 451 00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:39,946 [ Coughing ] 452 00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:41,848 Careful. 453 00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:43,549 It's kind of wet. 454 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,922 OK? 455 00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:53,292 Well, uh, come on. Let's go in the house. 456 00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:55,094 This way. 457 00:29:58,931 --> 00:30:00,299 Those are lemons. 458 00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:03,002 You know, lemonade, lemon Pledge. 459 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:06,372 Oh. It's OK. It's a sprinkler. 460 00:30:06,405 --> 00:30:10,442 Earth people are going to freak out if they see you. 461 00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,078 No offense, 462 00:30:12,111 --> 00:30:14,914 but you do look like wookies or werewolves. 463 00:30:14,947 --> 00:30:17,349 People will want to shoot you, 464 00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,418 so just be cool, OK? 465 00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:24,857 Let's go inside. Come on. Come on. 466 00:30:25,925 --> 00:30:29,896 What's going on in my horoscope today? 467 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,567 Well, this is my house. 468 00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:38,170 Um...sorry about the mess. 469 00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:40,139 Make yourselves at home. 470 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:47,880 [ Cuckoo ] 471 00:30:47,914 --> 00:30:48,948 [ Cuckoo ] 472 00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:50,349 [ Cuckoo ] 473 00:30:50,382 --> 00:30:52,184 Hi. This is Valerie Gale. 474 00:30:52,218 --> 00:30:55,187 Could you send Woody to drain my pool? 475 00:30:55,221 --> 00:30:58,190 Yeah. Right away. It's an emergency. I-- 476 00:30:58,224 --> 00:31:00,159 [ Meow ] 477 00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:03,395 [ Rrreow ] 478 00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:09,368 [ Purr Purr ] 479 00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:15,441 Wow! I've never see her do tha before! 480 00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:18,911 What is that, some kind of love touch? 481 00:31:18,945 --> 00:31:22,614 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 482 00:31:22,648 --> 00:31:24,283 Oh! Hi. Yeah. 483 00:31:24,316 --> 00:31:27,586 Listen. This is a matter of life and death. 484 00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:30,522 I lost my contact lens in the pool-- 485 00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:33,425 No. Send Woody. He found it last time. 486 00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:34,493 Hey! 487 00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:36,395 Those are Ted's fish! 488 00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:37,529 Thanks. 489 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:39,531 No. No. No. No. 490 00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:41,133 Not food! 491 00:31:41,167 --> 00:31:43,335 Not food! 492 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:47,706 Let's see. Oh, not much here, 493 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:50,977 but I didn't expect I'd have aliens for lunch. 494 00:31:51,010 --> 00:31:52,411 Oh, look. 495 00:31:52,444 --> 00:31:54,413 Low-cal Pop Tarts. 496 00:31:54,446 --> 00:31:56,148 These are natural. 497 00:31:56,182 --> 00:31:57,984 Great. 498 00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:02,454 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 499 00:32:02,488 --> 00:32:03,555 OK. 500 00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:06,425 We have an entree. What else? 501 00:32:09,561 --> 00:32:11,630 Uh...instant pudding! 502 00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:14,500 Add water, hmm... too much work. 503 00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,502 Oh, spray-on cheese! 504 00:32:16,535 --> 00:32:18,104 This is great. 505 00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:20,606 You have eggs on your planet? 506 00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:24,610 I could cook those for you. 507 00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:27,513 Uh... 508 00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:29,115 [ Pop ] 509 00:32:29,148 --> 00:32:31,483 [ Thud ] 510 00:32:31,517 --> 00:32:32,518 [ Plop ] 511 00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:37,189 This is wonderful. 512 00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:49,335 [ Crunch Crunch Crunch ] 513 00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:52,704 [ Crunch Crunch Crunch ] 514 00:32:52,738 --> 00:32:54,106 [ Meow Meow ] 515 00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,741 [ Meow ] 516 00:33:00,546 --> 00:33:03,249 Oh, Wiploc! No! No! Not there! 517 00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:05,551 No. Come with me. 518 00:33:15,194 --> 00:33:18,097 OK. So you go in there... 519 00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:22,301 No! No! Come here. No. 520 00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:25,037 You... go in there... 521 00:33:25,071 --> 00:33:27,306 Go in there... 522 00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:30,042 Yeah... and then you flush. 523 00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:32,678 [ Whoosh ] 524 00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:38,016 [ Whoosh ] 525 00:33:58,237 --> 00:33:59,438 [ Scratch ] 526 00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:03,175 Oh, my God! Woody's here! 527 00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:05,644 Whatever you do, just stay inside. 528 00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,556 [ Horse Neighs ] 529 00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:55,194 Aah! 530 00:34:55,227 --> 00:34:57,163 [ Neigh ] 531 00:34:57,196 --> 00:34:59,865 [ Singing In Spanish ] 532 00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:05,304 [ Click Click ] 533 00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:07,406 You are Americans. 534 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,508 You're the product of the freest-- 535 00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,377 [ Eee! Eee! ] 536 00:35:11,410 --> 00:35:12,544 [ Click Click ] 537 00:35:12,578 --> 00:35:15,514 You're tearing me apart! 538 00:35:15,547 --> 00:35:18,784 You say one thing, he says another-- 539 00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:20,719 A new car! 540 00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:22,721 A new car! Aah! 541 00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:24,790 * Take a mind excursion * 542 00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:26,792 * It's just... * 543 00:35:26,825 --> 00:35:29,495 Hey! How's it going? 544 00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,497 Hey, Woody. 545 00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:32,864 What's that? 546 00:35:32,898 --> 00:35:34,833 Some kind of giant boogie board? 547 00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:37,769 No. It's my new pool patio. Bitchin', huh? 548 00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:39,338 Pretty rad. 549 00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:40,272 [ Meow ] 550 00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:41,273 Whoa! 551 00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:43,742 Shoot the curl, kitty! 552 00:35:43,775 --> 00:35:45,844 Those little guys love the water. 553 00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:51,650 Listen, Valerie, how come you want your pool drained? 554 00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:52,784 How come? 555 00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:54,386 I don't know. 556 00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:57,789 You know, the water just seems really stale. 557 00:35:57,823 --> 00:35:59,958 We've seen a lot of that. 558 00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,793 How long will this take? 559 00:36:01,827 --> 00:36:04,463 Uh...about...a day. 560 00:36:06,332 --> 00:36:08,300 Whoa! Check out the sets. 561 00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:12,704 If I was six inches tall, I'd be out there now. 562 00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:15,707 They were pumping like that this morning-- 563 00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:17,709 I don't believe this. 564 00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,345 No, for real. 565 00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:22,581 I was getting barreled in this totally cool tube. 566 00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:25,451 I had just Sex Waxed my board. 567 00:36:25,484 --> 00:36:28,620 Someone shoots his board, hits me in the head. 568 00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:30,589 This is the worst. 569 00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:33,725 Would have been the ride of the decade. 570 00:36:33,759 --> 00:36:36,762 What am I supposed to do until tomorrow? 571 00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:39,631 Waste your brain. Wax your board. 572 00:36:39,665 --> 00:36:42,234 Pray for waves. 573 00:36:42,268 --> 00:36:47,273 [ Whistling Andy Griffith Theme ] 574 00:36:47,306 --> 00:36:49,541 [ Speaking Japanese ] 575 00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:51,810 [ Speaking Japanese ] 576 00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:53,512 Try this. 577 00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,481 * What'll it be? Hmm * 578 00:36:55,514 --> 00:36:57,015 * What'll it be? 579 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,484 * Hmm * 580 00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:01,387 Make me an Alaskan polar bear heater 581 00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:02,754 on the double. 582 00:37:02,788 --> 00:37:04,756 We'll make our own music, gorgeous. 583 00:37:04,790 --> 00:37:06,525 You and you stay. 584 00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:09,428 Tubby, rest your thumbs. I'll drive. 585 00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:11,997 Now watch, baby. Every move a picture. 586 00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:16,402 [ Telephone Rings ] 587 00:37:18,704 --> 00:37:20,038 [ Click ] 588 00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:23,275 [ Ted's Voice ] Is there a doctor in the house? Not now. 589 00:37:23,309 --> 00:37:25,977 Leave a message when you hear the beep. 590 00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:27,446 [ Beep ] 591 00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:29,281 Valerie? Are you there? 592 00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:30,649 Please pick up. 593 00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:32,818 I need to talk to you. 594 00:37:32,851 --> 00:37:35,387 Sorry I was such an asshole. 595 00:37:35,421 --> 00:37:37,756 Val, you've got to believe this. 596 00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:40,759 I've never ever been unfaithful to you. Ever. 597 00:37:40,792 --> 00:37:42,294 I'm only guilty 598 00:37:42,328 --> 00:37:44,996 of a little kissy-face with one nurse. 599 00:37:45,030 --> 00:37:46,565 You stopped me 600 00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:49,435 from making a big mistake last night. 601 00:37:49,468 --> 00:37:52,804 Val, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. 602 00:37:52,838 --> 00:37:55,974 I'll see you when I get home. Bye. 603 00:38:00,078 --> 00:38:02,414 Come back to Finland. 604 00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:05,917 Come back to winter all year round. 605 00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:09,621 Come back to parkas and goat's cheese. 606 00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:12,324 Finland knows what you want. 607 00:38:12,358 --> 00:38:15,761 Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi, yodel-ay-hee-hoo! 608 00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,564 Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi, 609 00:38:18,597 --> 00:38:19,831 hee-hoo! 610 00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:20,799 [ Click ] 611 00:38:20,832 --> 00:38:22,401 Television! 612 00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:24,035 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 613 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:28,740 OK. Well, we're all set. 614 00:38:28,774 --> 00:38:30,842 Finland is here? 615 00:38:30,876 --> 00:38:33,111 Finland? No. This is the valley. 616 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,647 Finland is the capital of Norway. 617 00:38:35,681 --> 00:38:36,948 You learn fast. 618 00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:39,551 Sorry I was such an asshole. 619 00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:42,554 Oh! I see you found a cable station. 620 00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:43,955 [ Imitating Ted ] Valerie? 621 00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:46,124 Are you there? Please pick up. 622 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,626 Did Ted call? 623 00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:50,629 I'll be over right after work tonight. 624 00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:52,030 OK, honey? Bye. 625 00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:53,865 Oh, my God! 626 00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:55,967 Ted is, like, a trained doctor. 627 00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,936 One look at you guys 628 00:38:57,969 --> 00:39:00,539 and he'll know you're not local. 629 00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:04,476 If I only had a zillion gallons of Nair. 630 00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:06,378 Nair.Nair. Nair. 631 00:39:08,947 --> 00:39:11,483 * I'm a sex pixy 632 00:39:11,517 --> 00:39:12,884 * Is that OK? 633 00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:15,921 * Do do do do do 634 00:39:15,954 --> 00:39:19,458 * Do do do do do do do do * 635 00:39:19,491 --> 00:39:23,662 * Hey, hey, do do do do * 636 00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,697 * Do do do do 637 00:39:25,731 --> 00:39:27,633 * Da-do, oh, oh * 638 00:39:27,666 --> 00:39:30,669 Candy, whatever you do, don't freak out. 639 00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:31,437 Valerie! 640 00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:34,640 Promise me you will not freak out. 641 00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:37,042 Stop! You are freaking me out! 642 00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,645 Um...a UFO landed in my pool, 643 00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:41,647 and they captured me, 644 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,982 but we made friends, and I fed them Pop Tarts. 645 00:39:44,015 --> 00:39:46,785 You've got to cut their hair. 646 00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,620 What did you say? 647 00:39:48,654 --> 00:39:52,691 Oh, nothing. I'm on drugs. Candy, help them. 648 00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:55,060 Would you listen to yourself? 649 00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:57,062 Valerie, no man is worth 650 00:39:57,095 --> 00:39:59,698 getting yourself in this state over. 651 00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:02,067 Mel Gibson, maybe, but not Ted! 652 00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,669 Valerie, come here. 653 00:40:03,702 --> 00:40:05,704 Just sit down, honey. 654 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,105 Relax. 655 00:40:07,138 --> 00:40:09,107 Have a mental Margarita. 656 00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:11,910 Now I'm going to show you something 657 00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:14,179 that's going to change your life. 658 00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:16,948 In that case, let me get a cigarette. 659 00:40:20,919 --> 00:40:24,189 You got little alien house guests... 660 00:40:24,222 --> 00:40:25,557 let's see them. 661 00:40:27,626 --> 00:40:29,094 [ Coughing ] 662 00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:30,662 Shit, Valerie! 663 00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:32,063 Those are aliens! 664 00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:33,965 I told you. 665 00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:36,234 Oh, God! Oh, shit! 666 00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:37,669 Valerie! Valerie! 667 00:40:37,703 --> 00:40:38,670 Those are-- 668 00:40:38,704 --> 00:40:40,906 Those are big... aliens! 669 00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,808 What do they want from us? 670 00:40:42,841 --> 00:40:45,210 What do you want from us? 671 00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:48,213 Did they take control of your brain? 672 00:40:48,246 --> 00:40:49,981 Oh...I don't think so. 673 00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:51,517 Can they talk? 674 00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:52,784 * What'll it be? Hmm ** 675 00:40:52,818 --> 00:40:54,786 I ate all the Frusen Gladje. 676 00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:56,955 Panty shields make me feel fresh. 677 00:40:56,988 --> 00:40:59,057 Are they straight? 678 00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,660 I don't know. They're aliens! 679 00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:03,061 This is Mac, 680 00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,663 and this is, uh...Zeebo, 681 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:05,997 and this is Wiploc. 682 00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:08,199 [ Coughing ] 683 00:41:08,233 --> 00:41:10,502 Well, they're just darling. 684 00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:12,504 Get them out of here. 685 00:41:12,538 --> 00:41:15,273 They can't leave until the pool is drained. 686 00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:17,743 If Ted finds out they're aliens, 687 00:41:17,776 --> 00:41:20,045 he'll want to dissect them. 688 00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,614 We could make them look more...human. 689 00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:25,784 I thought you never wanted to see Ted again. 690 00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:28,754 I don't. I just want to talk to him. 691 00:41:28,787 --> 00:41:30,889 Valerie, this is insane. 692 00:41:30,922 --> 00:41:33,825 They're, like, throwing up on my stuff! 693 00:41:33,859 --> 00:41:35,493 Come on, Candy. 694 00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:41,733 Well, I see split ends are universal. 695 00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:46,605 Lost in space with no conditioner, huh? 696 00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:50,008 I think they've been up there a long time. 697 00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:53,044 Well, it's all dead. It's got to come off. 698 00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:55,013 Can you do it? 699 00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:57,616 Does Tina Turner wear a wig? 700 00:41:57,649 --> 00:41:59,017 That's a wig? 701 00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,620 That's a wig. Great! 702 00:42:01,653 --> 00:42:03,021 I'll get clothes! 703 00:42:03,054 --> 00:42:05,657 If I find one flea, the deal's off! 704 00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:09,728 OK, Val, are you ready? 705 00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:11,630 I think they're almost done. 706 00:42:11,663 --> 00:42:15,100 I gave the red one the blond-surfer look. 707 00:42:17,302 --> 00:42:19,671 Wow! 708 00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,573 Which one is that? 709 00:42:21,607 --> 00:42:22,841 Wiploc. 710 00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:25,076 We are human now! 711 00:42:25,110 --> 00:42:27,846 I don't believe it! He's even cute! 712 00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,981 I know! Bitchin', huh? 713 00:42:30,015 --> 00:42:32,818 Val, you won't believe this. 714 00:42:32,851 --> 00:42:34,920 OK... 715 00:42:36,722 --> 00:42:38,089 Surprise! 716 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,161 Is that Zeebo? 717 00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:46,998 [ Imitating Candy ] Oh, my God! You're, like, totally black! 718 00:42:49,801 --> 00:42:50,802 OK... 719 00:42:50,836 --> 00:42:53,204 and...behind door number three... 720 00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:56,908 this is the ultimate! 721 00:43:05,183 --> 00:43:06,818 Wow! 722 00:43:09,187 --> 00:43:10,922 You're incredible. 723 00:43:15,026 --> 00:43:18,363 Well, it was easy. I started on poodles. 724 00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:20,632 Good? 725 00:43:20,666 --> 00:43:22,801 Real good. 726 00:43:26,171 --> 00:43:27,739 OK. OK. 727 00:43:27,773 --> 00:43:29,741 Group picture. Come on. 728 00:43:29,775 --> 00:43:31,843 Come on. Get down there. 729 00:43:33,812 --> 00:43:35,180 All right... 730 00:43:35,213 --> 00:43:38,083 now say, Velveeta Slices. 731 00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:40,652 Sl--Vegakld. Vel--salksi. 732 00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:45,190 OK, you guys, what's the plan for tonight? 733 00:43:45,223 --> 00:43:47,258 Whoa! Candy, reality check. 734 00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:49,861 We can't go out. They're aliens! 735 00:43:49,895 --> 00:43:52,297 So? They can still be dates! 736 00:43:52,330 --> 00:43:55,400 Do you guys have Margaritas on your planet? 737 00:43:55,433 --> 00:43:58,336 It's not safe. I'll take you home. 738 00:43:58,369 --> 00:44:01,406 Don't get your panties in a bunch. 739 00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:04,409 We're with major cute guys. It's Saturday night! 740 00:44:04,442 --> 00:44:06,211 Come on! 741 00:44:11,116 --> 00:44:15,053 You guys are so lucky you crashed in the valley. 742 00:44:15,086 --> 00:44:17,222 It's the baddest place on earth. 743 00:44:25,864 --> 00:44:27,665 Candy, sit down! 744 00:44:28,734 --> 00:44:30,769 Hi, sweets. 745 00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:34,873 I think we'd like to keep a low profile, Candy. 746 00:44:34,906 --> 00:44:37,208 Guys, what you doing later? 747 00:44:40,846 --> 00:44:43,982 I never would have believed that this could happen. 748 00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:46,785 That you'd be cruising with shaved Martians? 749 00:44:46,818 --> 00:44:50,021 No. That Ted would do this to me. 750 00:44:50,055 --> 00:44:53,124 Give men enough rope, they'll dig their own grave. 751 00:44:53,158 --> 00:44:54,292 So true. 752 00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:57,262 He said he wanted one last fling. 753 00:44:57,295 --> 00:44:59,865 Maybe that's normal, I don't know. 754 00:44:59,898 --> 00:45:02,834 I'm sure we'll be happy once we're married, 755 00:45:02,868 --> 00:45:05,303 but I can't pretend this didn't happen. 756 00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:08,173 Valerie, you work hard to make Ted happy. 757 00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:10,241 Who is making you happy? 758 00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:19,184 Woo! Woo! 759 00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:20,451 Finland babes! 760 00:45:20,485 --> 00:45:24,089 Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi, yodel-ay-hee-hoo! 761 00:45:24,122 --> 00:45:27,058 Didn't you go to Van Nuys High? 762 00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:28,927 Van Nuys High? 763 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,495 Aren't you Terry Harper's brother? 764 00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:32,330 Terry Harper's brother? 765 00:45:32,363 --> 00:45:33,832 Ha ha ha! 766 00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:35,934 Someone should hose those girls down! 767 00:45:35,967 --> 00:45:37,368 Want to party? 768 00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:38,870 Want to party? 769 00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:40,238 Come on! 770 00:45:46,511 --> 00:45:47,478 Wiploc! 771 00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:53,151 Look! There they are! 772 00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:58,456 OK. Don't worry. 773 00:45:58,489 --> 00:46:00,458 I'll go get him. 774 00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:02,460 Me, too. Me, too, too. 775 00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:03,461 Wait-- 776 00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,897 It'll only take a minute. 777 00:46:09,968 --> 00:46:13,004 Come on, you guys, what are you doing? 778 00:46:13,038 --> 00:46:18,509 [ Tarzan Yell ] 779 00:46:20,011 --> 00:46:22,814 * When I need something to help me unwind * 780 00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:26,551 * I find a six-foot baby with a one-track mind * 781 00:46:26,584 --> 00:46:30,388 * Smart guys are nowhere, they make demands * 782 00:46:30,421 --> 00:46:33,424 * Give me a moron with talented hands... * 783 00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,861 Where did you buy those? 784 00:46:35,894 --> 00:46:37,128 They're my dad's. 785 00:46:37,162 --> 00:46:38,864 Those are fabulous. 786 00:46:38,897 --> 00:46:40,531 I know. 787 00:46:40,565 --> 00:46:42,267 * ...In love till we're done * 788 00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:44,535 * Then they're out in the hall * 789 00:46:44,569 --> 00:46:46,437 * I like 'em big and 790 00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:48,073 * Stupid 791 00:46:48,106 --> 00:46:50,341 * I like 'em big and 792 00:46:50,375 --> 00:46:51,309 * Real dumb 793 00:46:51,342 --> 00:46:53,344 * I like 'em big and 794 00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:54,545 * Stupid 795 00:46:58,516 --> 00:47:02,353 * What kind of guy does a lot for me? * 796 00:47:02,387 --> 00:47:05,256 * Superman with a lobotomy * 797 00:47:05,290 --> 00:47:07,258 * My father's out of Harvard * 798 00:47:07,292 --> 00:47:09,027 * My brother's out of Yale 799 00:47:09,060 --> 00:47:10,929 * But the guy I took home last night * 800 00:47:10,962 --> 00:47:12,931 * Just got out of jail... * 801 00:47:12,964 --> 00:47:14,565 Valerie! Hi! Over here! 802 00:47:14,599 --> 00:47:16,902 Candy! Hi! 803 00:47:16,935 --> 00:47:19,604 Are you nuts? What are you doing? 804 00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:21,506 Having cocktails. 805 00:47:22,908 --> 00:47:25,176 Alaskan polar bear heater. 806 00:47:25,210 --> 00:47:27,145 Ted is coming home tonight, 807 00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:31,149 and there's a UFO in my pool. A UFO! 808 00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:34,552 B.F.D. Ted won't be there for a few hours. 809 00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:36,221 Just chill out. 810 00:47:36,254 --> 00:47:38,256 Let's get these guys out 811 00:47:38,289 --> 00:47:40,158 before anyone realizes they're aliens. 812 00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:43,194 No one's going to know they're aliens, OK? 813 00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:44,329 Tanya! 814 00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,066 Hi. You know Val, 815 00:47:48,099 --> 00:47:50,468 and this is Mac, Wiploc, and Zeebo. 816 00:47:50,501 --> 00:47:53,538 They're from Mars or something! Could you die? 817 00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:55,640 Hey, Zeebo, want to dance? 818 00:47:56,607 --> 00:47:58,143 Want to dance? 819 00:47:58,176 --> 00:47:59,644 Great idea. 820 00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:03,648 Wiploc. 821 00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:07,085 Should I dance? 822 00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:08,386 Sure. 823 00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:10,989 Fine. Hey, party down. 824 00:48:11,022 --> 00:48:13,091 When you're ready for your chauffeur, 825 00:48:13,124 --> 00:48:15,226 I'll be out on the patio. 826 00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:18,229 What's her problem? 827 00:48:20,565 --> 00:48:22,367 Two weeks? 828 00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:24,435 Whoa! 829 00:48:24,469 --> 00:48:26,938 * ...'Cause it was so stupid * 830 00:48:26,972 --> 00:48:30,008 * The bigger they come, the harder I fall * 831 00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,576 * In love till we're done 832 00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,244 * Then they're out in the hall... * 833 00:48:33,278 --> 00:48:35,513 Come on. Let's dance. 834 00:48:35,546 --> 00:48:37,215 Woo! 835 00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:39,217 * I like 'em big and 836 00:48:39,250 --> 00:48:41,019 * Real dumb 837 00:48:41,052 --> 00:48:42,520 * I like 'em big and... 838 00:48:42,553 --> 00:48:43,854 He left? 839 00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:50,095 * She likes 'em big and 840 00:48:50,128 --> 00:48:51,529 * Stupid * 841 00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:57,935 [ Piano Playing ] 842 00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:10,448 You, go rest your thumbs. I'll drive. 843 00:49:41,312 --> 00:49:43,248 You could actually play that? 844 00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:46,784 Valerie, are we limp and hard to manage? 845 00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:49,454 Oh, no, no. You're fine. 846 00:49:49,487 --> 00:49:50,588 I'm sorry. 847 00:49:50,621 --> 00:49:54,592 I just don't feel like talking much. 848 00:49:54,625 --> 00:49:58,196 I guess I figured that everything would just fall into place 849 00:49:58,229 --> 00:50:00,165 if I found Mr. Right. 850 00:50:00,198 --> 00:50:02,267 Mr. Right? 851 00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:06,304 Mr. Right is like the guy you dream of meeting 852 00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,806 ever since you're a little girl. 853 00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,442 You'd go anyplace or do anything 854 00:50:11,476 --> 00:50:13,278 to be together. 855 00:50:13,311 --> 00:50:15,046 He feels the same way about you 856 00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,116 because you're right for each other. 857 00:50:18,149 --> 00:50:19,517 I don't know. 858 00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:21,519 Maybe I'm kidding myself. 859 00:50:21,552 --> 00:50:24,222 Maybe there's no such thing. 860 00:50:31,796 --> 00:50:34,232 * Baby gonna shake all night * 861 00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:36,367 * Baby gonna shake it right * 862 00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,403 * Baby gonna shake so fast * 863 00:50:38,436 --> 00:50:40,371 * Out on the floor 864 00:50:40,405 --> 00:50:42,373 * Baby gonna shake all night * 865 00:50:42,407 --> 00:50:44,509 * Baby gonna shake it right * 866 00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:46,111 * Baby gonna shake so fast * 867 00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:47,545 Hey, baby. 868 00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:52,683 Why be with a zero when you can dance with a hero? 869 00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:55,586 * Oh, baby 870 00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,489 * You got to tell me 871 00:50:58,523 --> 00:51:01,626 * Where it takes us you don't care * 872 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:04,662 * Ooh, yeah 873 00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:06,797 * Baby, just fix up your hair * 874 00:51:06,831 --> 00:51:12,637 * It doesn't matter what you wear to me * 875 00:51:12,670 --> 00:51:14,605 * Get yourself back in your car * 876 00:51:14,639 --> 00:51:17,642 * We don't have to go too far * 877 00:51:17,675 --> 00:51:19,377 * To see 878 00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:21,212 * Oh, baby 879 00:51:21,246 --> 00:51:22,147 * Baby gonna shake all night * 880 00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,882 * Baby gonna shake it right * 881 00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:27,485 * Baby gonna shake so fast * 882 00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:28,619 * Out on the floor 883 00:51:28,653 --> 00:51:30,655 * Come on, now, hurry 884 00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:32,290 * There's always something we can do * 885 00:51:32,323 --> 00:51:37,195 Why be with a hero when you can dance with a zero? 886 00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:39,230 * Don't have to worry 887 00:51:39,264 --> 00:51:42,133 * As long as I'm not there with you * 888 00:51:42,167 --> 00:51:44,669 * Oh, yeah, yeah 889 00:51:44,702 --> 00:51:47,672 * Baby, just fix up your hair * 890 00:51:47,705 --> 00:51:52,243 * It doesn't matter what you wear to me * 891 00:51:54,179 --> 00:51:55,413 * Get yourself back in your car * 892 00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:58,416 * We don't have to go too far * 893 00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,418 Whoa. 894 00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:01,852 Back off, Jack! 895 00:52:01,886 --> 00:52:03,821 The lucky lady's with me, 896 00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:07,192 and don't be copping my dance moves. 897 00:52:07,225 --> 00:52:09,794 I'll dance with you both. I don't care. 898 00:52:09,827 --> 00:52:12,430 No, no, no. You don't understand. 899 00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:13,831 He can't dance. 900 00:52:13,864 --> 00:52:17,235 All right. I know he can't do this. 901 00:52:18,369 --> 00:52:20,271 * Baby gonna shake all night * 902 00:52:20,305 --> 00:52:22,540 * Baby gonna shake it right * 903 00:52:22,573 --> 00:52:24,942 * Baby gonna shake so fast * 904 00:52:24,975 --> 00:52:26,444 * Out on the floor 905 00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:28,479 * Baby gonna shake all night * 906 00:52:28,513 --> 00:52:30,715 * Baby gonna shake it right * 907 00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:32,550 * Baby gonna shake so fast * 908 00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:34,452 * Out on the floor 909 00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:36,454 * Shake all night 910 00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:37,688 * Don't you want to shake it? * 911 00:52:37,722 --> 00:52:39,957 * Baby gonna dance all night * 912 00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:42,527 * Come shake it, baby 913 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:43,928 * Baby gonna shake all night * 914 00:52:43,961 --> 00:52:44,829 * Shake it, baby 915 00:52:44,862 --> 00:52:46,831 * Shake it, baby, shake it * 916 00:52:46,864 --> 00:52:48,799 * Dance all night 917 00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:50,835 * Out on the floor 918 00:52:57,608 --> 00:52:59,677 Come on, man. 919 00:53:02,847 --> 00:53:05,650 Hot damn! Hot damn! 920 00:53:07,985 --> 00:53:11,389 * There's nothing I'd rather do * 921 00:53:12,990 --> 00:53:16,694 * Right here while you're mine * 922 00:53:16,727 --> 00:53:19,664 * Being here with you 923 00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:23,834 * Leaving it all behind, baby * 924 00:53:26,003 --> 00:53:29,374 All right! Hey! Woo! 925 00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,286 * Baby, just fix up your hair * 926 00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:46,991 * It doesn't matter what you wear to me * 927 00:53:47,024 --> 00:53:49,427 * Get yourself back in your car * 928 00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:52,563 * We don't have to go too far * 929 00:53:52,597 --> 00:53:53,698 * To see 930 00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,300 * Oh, baby 931 00:53:55,333 --> 00:53:57,335 * Baby gonna shake all night * 932 00:53:57,368 --> 00:53:59,404 * Baby gonna shake it right * 933 00:53:59,437 --> 00:54:01,939 * Baby gonna shake so fast * 934 00:54:01,972 --> 00:54:03,474 * Out on the floor 935 00:54:03,508 --> 00:54:05,810 * Baby gonna shake all night * 936 00:54:05,843 --> 00:54:06,944 * Baby gonna shake it right * 937 00:54:06,977 --> 00:54:09,780 * Baby gonna shake so fast * 938 00:54:09,814 --> 00:54:11,816 * Out on the floor 939 00:54:11,849 --> 00:54:13,484 * Shake all night 940 00:54:13,518 --> 00:54:15,353 Damn! 941 00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:17,688 * Baby * 942 00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:28,499 I'm going home with him. 943 00:54:28,533 --> 00:54:30,601 I'm going home with him. 944 00:54:32,337 --> 00:54:34,305 I'm going home with him. 945 00:54:35,973 --> 00:54:38,576 Bitch. 946 00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:41,011 I don't even know what planet you're from. 947 00:54:41,045 --> 00:54:42,613 Jhazalla. 948 00:54:42,647 --> 00:54:46,317 Oh. We've only been as far as the moon. 949 00:54:49,654 --> 00:54:51,622 You know, at first, 950 00:54:51,656 --> 00:54:53,958 I thought you kind of looked 951 00:54:53,991 --> 00:54:56,594 like a giant bigfoot or something, 952 00:54:56,627 --> 00:55:00,965 but now... if I didn't know you were an alien, 953 00:55:00,998 --> 00:55:05,570 I would just think that you were a really cute guy 954 00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:08,339 who, I'm sure, has a girlfriend. 955 00:55:08,373 --> 00:55:11,308 No Mr. Right girlfriend. 956 00:55:20,751 --> 00:55:22,453 Yodel-ay-hee-hoo! 957 00:55:24,589 --> 00:55:26,957 Oh, my God. That's Wiploc. 958 00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,726 * Hit me * 959 00:55:29,594 --> 00:55:30,895 All right! 960 00:55:30,928 --> 00:55:32,497 All right! 961 00:55:32,530 --> 00:55:34,599 All right! 962 00:55:47,878 --> 00:55:49,847 Give me your autograph on my forehead. 963 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,616 Sign these. 964 00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:57,121 Candy, you're frenching an alien in public! 965 00:55:57,154 --> 00:56:00,525 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 966 00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:04,562 You OK? 967 00:56:04,595 --> 00:56:06,464 Wiploc. Wiploc. 968 00:56:06,497 --> 00:56:11,536 I want to be zero. I want to be zero. 969 00:56:11,569 --> 00:56:13,037 No, no, no. 970 00:56:17,141 --> 00:56:19,009 Candy, uh, I'll call you. 971 00:56:19,043 --> 00:56:21,446 Oh, what was it like? 972 00:56:21,479 --> 00:56:23,714 Oh, my God! You're so lucky! 973 00:56:23,748 --> 00:56:25,450 Did you get his number? 974 00:56:25,483 --> 00:56:27,885 I want his baby. 975 00:56:30,154 --> 00:56:31,822 Sweetheart? 976 00:56:31,856 --> 00:56:33,991 Sweetheart, I'm sorry. 977 00:56:34,024 --> 00:56:35,793 Val? 978 00:56:39,764 --> 00:56:40,931 Honey? 979 00:56:41,932 --> 00:56:43,634 Hey, Val? 980 00:56:47,838 --> 00:56:49,807 What? Oh, wait a second. 981 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,177 They said the Commodore would stand up to anything. 982 00:56:53,210 --> 00:56:55,780 [ Thud ] Oh! 983 00:56:55,813 --> 00:56:58,616 Beamer? Beamer? 984 00:57:00,785 --> 00:57:03,153 Beamer. [ Making Fish Noise ] 985 00:57:03,187 --> 00:57:05,122 Astin, where's Martin? 986 00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:06,757 Where's Val? Don't, don't panic. 987 00:57:06,791 --> 00:57:09,026 She probably wasn't here when it happened. 988 00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:13,698 Operator, give me the police. This is an emergency. 989 00:57:27,177 --> 00:57:28,779 Police? This is Dr. Gallagher. 990 00:57:28,813 --> 00:57:31,882 I'd like to report a break-in 991 00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:36,186 and... and a possible kidnapping. 992 00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:37,755 Oh, God. Ted's here. 993 00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:40,625 You guys, act human, OK? 994 00:57:40,658 --> 00:57:42,760 Just act human. 995 00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:45,796 Oh, sweetheart, you're all right. 996 00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:48,766 Oh, I was so worried about you. 997 00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:51,902 When I came home, the house was wrecked. 998 00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:57,074 Who are they? 999 00:57:57,107 --> 00:57:59,810 Who? Those guys? Yeah. 1000 00:57:59,844 --> 00:58:01,011 A band. 1001 00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:04,014 Boy, I'm totally clear. [ Humming ] 1002 00:58:04,048 --> 00:58:06,551 You mean like a rock 'n' roll band? 1003 00:58:06,584 --> 00:58:09,554 What are you doing with a band, Val? 1004 00:58:09,587 --> 00:58:11,255 I won them on MTV. 1005 00:58:11,288 --> 00:58:14,258 I won an MTV weekend with a band. 1006 00:58:14,291 --> 00:58:16,794 Hi. I am, uh, Mac. 1007 00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:19,196 How is it hanging, Mr. Dude? 1008 00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:22,132 Dr. Dude. Dr. Dude? 1009 00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:27,304 I came home to talk to you alone. 1010 00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:31,141 This is private. I'm sure you won't mind when I ask you to leave. 1011 00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:34,144 They can't leave. They're spending the weekend. 1012 00:58:34,178 --> 00:58:38,148 No, Val. They can't. This is my house. 1013 00:58:38,182 --> 00:58:42,653 Your house? Wait. I threw you out, Dr. Love. 1014 00:58:42,687 --> 00:58:45,222 I'm going to throw them out. What about that? 1015 00:58:45,255 --> 00:58:47,291 No, you're not. Yes, I am. 1016 00:58:47,324 --> 00:58:50,761 I won them. What? 1017 00:58:50,795 --> 00:58:54,632 You're tearing me apart! 1018 00:58:54,665 --> 00:58:57,802 You have no business being with these weird people. 1019 00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:00,605 I never won a band before. They're staying. 1020 00:59:00,638 --> 00:59:02,807 I want you to be happy, but-- 1021 00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:04,208 Dr. Dude? What now? 1022 00:59:04,241 --> 00:59:06,677 Yee-wah. Ah! 1023 00:59:06,711 --> 00:59:09,046 He was good. You animal! 1024 00:59:10,615 --> 00:59:13,283 I ought to give you a tracheotomy. 1025 00:59:13,317 --> 00:59:16,353 That was Mercedes, my most expensive fish! 1026 00:59:16,386 --> 00:59:20,625 Hey, what's going on here? Break it up. 1027 00:59:20,658 --> 00:59:24,662 Hey, hey! Come on! Break it up. 1028 00:59:24,695 --> 00:59:26,063 What are you doing? 1029 00:59:26,096 --> 00:59:27,798 Who's Dr. Gallagher? 1030 00:59:27,832 --> 00:59:30,034 I'm Dr. Gallagher. 1031 00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,936 Uh-huh. I'm Officer Demonte. 1032 00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:33,738 This is Officer Murphy. 1033 00:59:33,771 --> 00:59:36,607 You reported a break-in and possible kidnapping? 1034 00:59:36,641 --> 00:59:39,009 Yes, I did, but she's fine. 1035 00:59:39,043 --> 00:59:43,981 However, these degenerates broke into my home 1036 00:59:44,014 --> 00:59:45,850 and destroyed my property. 1037 00:59:45,883 --> 00:59:48,619 I want them arrested right now. They're MTV scum! 1038 00:59:48,653 --> 00:59:52,056 Ma'am, you mind telling us what's going on here? 1039 00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,991 This man doesn't live here anymore, 1040 00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:57,662 and he's strangling my guests. 1041 00:59:57,695 --> 00:59:59,296 He was eating my Blue-Gilled Dorky. 1042 00:59:59,329 --> 01:00:01,198 Watch your mouth! 1043 01:00:01,231 --> 01:00:04,769 10-13. We got a false report. 1044 01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:07,204 Just a domestic dispute. 1045 01:00:07,237 --> 01:00:11,275 His girlfriend dumped him for a rock band. 1046 01:00:11,308 --> 01:00:13,177 Bullshit! 1047 01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:16,013 Let's go where you can cool off. 1048 01:00:16,046 --> 01:00:17,982 I'm a doctor! 1049 01:00:18,015 --> 01:00:20,350 If we bust your arm, you can put on your own cast. 1050 01:00:20,384 --> 01:00:24,021 You're right, Val. I don't know you. 1051 01:00:24,054 --> 01:00:27,091 If you thought I'd spend my life with you, 1052 01:00:27,124 --> 01:00:29,927 your friends, and that psychotic cat of yours, 1053 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:31,161 you're crazy! 1054 01:00:31,195 --> 01:00:34,665 The wedding's off, Val! Come on, buddy. 1055 01:00:37,735 --> 01:00:40,738 You want to dance with a zero? 1056 01:00:40,771 --> 01:00:42,807 I'm sorry. 1057 01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,210 I think I have to go to my room now. 1058 01:00:55,953 --> 01:00:58,055 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 1059 01:01:21,111 --> 01:01:23,180 Is Ted coming back? 1060 01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:28,152 [ Sigh ] 1061 01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,187 No. Ted doesn't want to come back. 1062 01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:31,488 [ Door Closes ] 1063 01:01:31,521 --> 01:01:33,791 I don't know what Ted wants, 1064 01:01:33,824 --> 01:01:36,226 but it's not me. 1065 01:01:36,260 --> 01:01:38,362 What does Valerie want? 1066 01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,098 I don't know. 1067 01:01:41,131 --> 01:01:43,734 I just want to be happy. 1068 01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,370 Mac could make Valerie happy. 1069 01:01:46,403 --> 01:01:49,006 Thanks, but I don't think 1070 01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:52,509 anybody could make me feel very good right now. 1071 01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:54,478 Mac could make Valerie feel 1072 01:01:54,511 --> 01:01:57,214 very, very good. 1073 01:01:57,247 --> 01:02:00,785 Wait a minute. Are you coming on to me? 1074 01:02:00,818 --> 01:02:02,319 Is this a pass? 1075 01:02:02,352 --> 01:02:07,524 Because if it is, sex is totally out of the question. 1076 01:02:07,557 --> 01:02:09,526 What is sex? 1077 01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,929 Sex? You know, making love. 1078 01:02:11,962 --> 01:02:14,932 A man and a woman like each other, 1079 01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:18,068 and they take their clothes off, and... 1080 01:02:18,102 --> 01:02:20,470 OK. 1081 01:02:20,504 --> 01:02:22,439 Well, no, no, no! 1082 01:02:22,472 --> 01:02:25,475 We can't because me and Ted are, uh... 1083 01:02:25,509 --> 01:02:28,478 I guess we're not, but, I mean, uh... 1084 01:02:28,512 --> 01:02:31,081 we can't because you're an alien, 1085 01:02:31,115 --> 01:02:33,050 and I'm from the valley. 1086 01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:37,054 We may not even be anatomically correct for each other. 1087 01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:39,456 That could be a real problem. 1088 01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:40,457 [ Zipper Unzips ] 1089 01:02:40,490 --> 01:02:42,059 No problem. 1090 01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:45,062 But, I mean, uh, no, no, no. 1091 01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,497 I mean, it just wouldn't work. 1092 01:02:47,531 --> 01:02:49,466 You're from out of town. 1093 01:02:49,499 --> 01:02:52,502 The phone bills would just be hell... 1094 01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:53,303 Shh. 1095 01:02:53,337 --> 01:02:56,440 Well, I just don't want you to think 1096 01:02:56,473 --> 01:02:58,442 Earth girls are easy. 1097 01:02:58,475 --> 01:03:00,444 What is easy? 1098 01:03:00,477 --> 01:03:02,446 This is easy. 1099 01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:58,295 Aah! 1100 01:05:04,001 --> 01:05:06,170 Ah! 1101 01:05:06,203 --> 01:05:07,504 [ Siren ] 1102 01:05:07,537 --> 01:05:09,039 Oh! 1103 01:05:20,617 --> 01:05:22,286 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 1104 01:05:22,319 --> 01:05:23,487 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 1105 01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,257 I told you not to have fun. 1106 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:34,698 [ Ring ] 1107 01:05:34,731 --> 01:05:37,334 [ Ring ] 1108 01:05:39,536 --> 01:05:43,073 [ Ring ] 1109 01:05:43,107 --> 01:05:44,541 Help! 1110 01:05:59,523 --> 01:06:01,391 Ted! 1111 01:06:02,592 --> 01:06:05,495 Help! 1112 01:06:05,529 --> 01:06:08,665 Uh-oh. Uh, don't go anywhere. 1113 01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:10,667 I've been paged. 1114 01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:12,436 Oh, sweetheart. 1115 01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,237 Ted. 1116 01:06:13,270 --> 01:06:15,205 Ted, make it stop. 1117 01:06:15,239 --> 01:06:16,273 Ted. 1118 01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:21,678 What happened to my fish? 1119 01:06:24,381 --> 01:06:26,150 Ted! 1120 01:06:33,423 --> 01:06:35,225 Beamer! 1121 01:06:35,259 --> 01:06:38,228 Your face! What happened? 1122 01:06:38,262 --> 01:06:40,397 [ Ribbit Ribbit ] 1123 01:06:47,071 --> 01:06:50,507 Ted! Stop it. 1124 01:06:50,540 --> 01:06:52,542 Stop it! Stop it! 1125 01:06:56,413 --> 01:06:59,383 Aaah! 1126 01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:32,782 Hi. 1127 01:07:34,151 --> 01:07:35,385 Hi. 1128 01:07:39,589 --> 01:07:40,357 God. 1129 01:07:40,390 --> 01:07:43,527 I had the weirdest dream last night. 1130 01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,562 All I remember is-- 1131 01:07:45,595 --> 01:07:46,663 Shh... 1132 01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:54,238 [ Thump Thump ] [ Thump Thump ] 1133 01:07:54,271 --> 01:07:56,873 You have the strangest heartbeat. 1134 01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:59,509 Sounds like you have two hearts. 1135 01:07:59,543 --> 01:08:00,777 Yes. 1136 01:08:00,810 --> 01:08:02,446 Don't you? 1137 01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:06,450 No. I just have one. 1138 01:08:07,651 --> 01:08:09,619 Tell me about Zimbabwe. 1139 01:08:09,653 --> 01:08:11,788 Jhazalla? 1140 01:08:11,821 --> 01:08:15,292 Jhazalla. Is it like Earth? 1141 01:08:15,325 --> 01:08:17,527 Yes. It's beautiful. 1142 01:08:17,561 --> 01:08:21,665 Sounds neat. Is driving a UFO a good job? 1143 01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:23,533 Oh, yes. 1144 01:08:23,567 --> 01:08:26,403 Do you own your own home or rent? 1145 01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:28,172 No water. Come look. 1146 01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:31,408 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 1147 01:08:51,395 --> 01:08:54,130 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 1148 01:09:34,938 --> 01:09:36,940 Hi, guys. 1149 01:09:36,973 --> 01:09:39,543 Hope instant decaf is OK. 1150 01:09:39,576 --> 01:09:40,710 Breakfast is on the way. 1151 01:09:40,744 --> 01:09:43,547 I'm making pancakes from scratch. 1152 01:09:43,580 --> 01:09:45,949 Yeah. Valerie, uh... 1153 01:09:45,982 --> 01:09:47,651 we can go home now. 1154 01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:48,752 Oh. 1155 01:09:49,853 --> 01:09:52,856 Gee... that's great. 1156 01:09:54,391 --> 01:09:58,695 Wow. I didn't think it would be so soon. 1157 01:09:58,728 --> 01:10:00,464 Yeah. 1158 01:10:01,598 --> 01:10:04,668 That's, uh, that's really good. 1159 01:10:04,701 --> 01:10:07,704 Yeah. Uh, Valerie... 1160 01:10:10,006 --> 01:10:12,276 [ Telephone Rings ] 1161 01:10:12,309 --> 01:10:14,811 Well, I better go get that. 1162 01:10:14,844 --> 01:10:16,680 Pool man! 1163 01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:19,583 Hey, dudes, what's happening? 1164 01:10:20,650 --> 01:10:23,453 Woody. Woody. 1165 01:10:23,487 --> 01:10:25,489 What is this? 1166 01:10:25,522 --> 01:10:29,693 A spaceship? Spaceship? 1167 01:10:32,362 --> 01:10:34,331 No way, Jose. 1168 01:10:34,364 --> 01:10:36,466 What is it? A car. 1169 01:10:36,500 --> 01:10:38,902 That's why she wanted me to drain it. 1170 01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:40,604 She drove her car into the pool. 1171 01:10:40,637 --> 01:10:42,672 I'm always doing that. 1172 01:10:42,706 --> 01:10:46,810 Pretty rad car, though. Where is it made? 1173 01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:48,678 Finland. 1174 01:10:48,712 --> 01:10:49,946 Finland.Finland. 1175 01:10:49,979 --> 01:10:52,015 Oh, I heard of that. 1176 01:10:52,048 --> 01:10:55,952 Ted, bringing that girl here was inexcusable. 1177 01:10:55,985 --> 01:11:00,357 Now that I've slept on it, I could probably forgive you, 1178 01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:02,726 but what about calling off the wedding? 1179 01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:05,295 Sweetheart, I didn't mean that. 1180 01:11:05,329 --> 01:11:08,298 Marrying you is the most important thing in the world. 1181 01:11:08,332 --> 01:11:11,301 I need you to take care of me. 1182 01:11:11,335 --> 01:11:14,704 I won't so much as look at another woman, 1183 01:11:14,738 --> 01:11:19,709 unless, of course, I'm giving her a physical examination. 1184 01:11:19,743 --> 01:11:24,681 A relationship is like a porcelain nail-- 1185 01:11:24,714 --> 01:11:27,684 You can break it, you can glue it back together, 1186 01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:29,686 but it won't be as strong as before 1187 01:11:29,719 --> 01:11:32,956 unless the person's committed and not bringing home nurses. 1188 01:11:32,989 --> 01:11:36,092 You should've seen me today, man. 1189 01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,562 Nothing but radical rips all the way in. 1190 01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:39,996 You want some slushy? 1191 01:11:40,029 --> 01:11:43,099 I was barely off my board 1192 01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,735 when the wahines were all over me. 1193 01:11:45,769 --> 01:11:48,004 Ew! Wahines! 1194 01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:51,775 Wahines. You know, girls. 1195 01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:54,711 Girls? You know girls? 1196 01:11:54,744 --> 01:11:56,112 Does the Woodburger know girls? 1197 01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:58,415 Pinocchio got a wooden butt? 1198 01:11:58,448 --> 01:12:01,785 I could fix you up with some bodacious chicks 1199 01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:03,953 just like that. 1200 01:12:03,987 --> 01:12:07,424 You don't believe me? Like that. 1201 01:12:07,457 --> 01:12:11,127 Come on. Let's hit the beach. Ride the wild bikinis! 1202 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:13,697 We go get Candy? 1203 01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:16,700 Candy, gum, beer nuts, anything you want. 1204 01:12:16,733 --> 01:12:18,034 Twizzlers. I got some Milk Duds. 1205 01:12:18,067 --> 01:12:19,903 You ought to lay off coffee. 1206 01:12:19,936 --> 01:12:22,839 It'll kill you in a day. 1207 01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:27,010 I will take you to Zuma Beach. 1208 01:12:27,043 --> 01:12:28,545 I need surprises. 1209 01:12:28,578 --> 01:12:30,079 I need romance. 1210 01:12:30,113 --> 01:12:32,048 How long has it been 1211 01:12:32,081 --> 01:12:36,119 since you said I love you, I need you, 1212 01:12:36,152 --> 01:12:38,488 I'm crazy about you? 1213 01:12:40,790 --> 01:12:42,492 Well, Ted? 1214 01:12:42,526 --> 01:12:44,494 Get in the car, will you? 1215 01:12:44,528 --> 01:12:47,597 Wiploc. Zeebo. 1216 01:12:47,631 --> 01:12:50,467 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 1217 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:53,837 Zeebo going to Zuma Beach! 1218 01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:55,472 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 1219 01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:56,840 Zeebo! 1220 01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:58,608 Wiploc! 1221 01:12:58,642 --> 01:13:01,077 Hey, dudes, I just remembered something. 1222 01:13:01,110 --> 01:13:02,646 What was it? 1223 01:13:02,679 --> 01:13:04,681 At the beach today, 1224 01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:07,684 they're having a blond-of-the-month contest. 1225 01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:08,652 Blond? 1226 01:13:08,685 --> 01:13:10,086 Yeah, you know, 1227 01:13:10,119 --> 01:13:12,889 blond beach bunnies, California's finest. 1228 01:13:27,471 --> 01:13:30,073 * Because I'm blond I don't have to think * 1229 01:13:30,106 --> 01:13:31,775 * I talk like a baby 1230 01:13:31,808 --> 01:13:33,109 * And I never pay for drinks * 1231 01:13:33,142 --> 01:13:35,845 * Don't have to worry about getting a man * 1232 01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:38,548 * If I keep this blond and I keep these tanned * 1233 01:13:38,582 --> 01:13:41,451 * 'Cause I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1234 01:13:41,485 --> 01:13:44,053 * 'Cause I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1235 01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,822 * I see people working 1236 01:13:45,855 --> 01:13:47,223 * It just makes me giggle 1237 01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:48,458 * 'Cause I don't have to work * 1238 01:13:48,492 --> 01:13:50,694 * I just have to jiggle 1239 01:13:50,727 --> 01:13:52,862 * 'Cause I'm blond, b-l-o-n-d * 1240 01:13:52,896 --> 01:13:54,998 * 'Cause I'm a blond Don't you wish you were me? * 1241 01:13:55,031 --> 01:13:56,800 * I never learned to read * 1242 01:13:56,833 --> 01:13:58,568 * And I never learned to cook * 1243 01:13:58,602 --> 01:14:01,671 * Why should I bother when I look like I look? * 1244 01:14:01,705 --> 01:14:04,007 * I know lots of people are smarter than me * 1245 01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:08,144 * But I have this philosophy-- so what? * 1246 01:14:10,146 --> 01:14:12,916 * 'Cause I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1247 01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:14,551 * I see girls without dates 1248 01:14:14,584 --> 01:14:15,685 * And I feel so sorry for them * 1249 01:14:15,719 --> 01:14:18,655 * 'Cause whenever I'm around all the men ignore them * 1250 01:14:18,688 --> 01:14:21,124 * 'Cause I'm blond, nyah, nyah, nyah * 1251 01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:24,594 * 'Cause I'm a blond, nyah, nyah, nyah * 1252 01:14:24,628 --> 01:14:27,196 * They say to make it you need talent and ambition * 1253 01:14:27,230 --> 01:14:30,767 * Well, I got a TV show and this was my audition * 1254 01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,269 Um, what was it? OK, don't tell me. 1255 01:14:33,302 --> 01:14:35,605 Oh, yeah, OK. "Duck, Magnum, duck!" 1256 01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:38,608 * 'Cause I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1257 01:14:38,642 --> 01:14:42,011 * 'Cause I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1258 01:14:42,045 --> 01:14:44,881 * I took an IQ test, and I flunked it, of course * 1259 01:14:44,914 --> 01:14:47,083 * I can't spell "VW," but I got a Porsche * 1260 01:14:47,116 --> 01:14:49,553 * 'Cause I'm a blond b-l-o-n-d * 1261 01:14:49,586 --> 01:14:52,822 *'Cause I'm a blond don't you wish you were me? * 1262 01:14:52,856 --> 01:14:53,857 * I just want to say 1263 01:14:53,890 --> 01:14:56,192 * That being chosen as this month's Miss August * 1264 01:14:56,225 --> 01:14:57,527 * Is, like, a compliment I'll remember * 1265 01:14:57,561 --> 01:14:58,895 * For as long as I can 1266 01:14:58,928 --> 01:14:59,896 * Right now, I'm a freshman * 1267 01:14:59,929 --> 01:15:01,264 * In my fourth year at U.C.L.A. * 1268 01:15:01,297 --> 01:15:03,099 * But my goal is to become a veterinarian * 1269 01:15:03,132 --> 01:15:04,734 * 'Cause I love children 1270 01:15:04,768 --> 01:15:07,036 * 'Cause I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1271 01:15:07,070 --> 01:15:10,206 * 'Cause we're a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1272 01:15:10,239 --> 01:15:13,109 * Girls think I'm snotty and maybe it's true * 1273 01:15:13,142 --> 01:15:15,779 * With my hair and body you would be, too * 1274 01:15:15,812 --> 01:15:18,748 * 'Cause I'm a blond, b-l...I don't know * 1275 01:15:18,782 --> 01:15:21,217 * I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1276 01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:24,287 * Yes, I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah * 1277 01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:27,691 * 'Cause I'm a blond, yeah, yeah, yeah ** 1278 01:15:35,331 --> 01:15:37,233 Hey, dudes. 1279 01:15:37,266 --> 01:15:38,902 Dudes, come on. Snap out of it. 1280 01:15:38,935 --> 01:15:41,104 We're making a pit stop. 1281 01:15:49,913 --> 01:15:52,281 Bang! Bang! 1282 01:15:53,182 --> 01:15:54,884 Hello, Opie. 1283 01:15:56,352 --> 01:15:58,955 Bryan, come on over here! 1284 01:15:58,988 --> 01:16:01,024 Will you get in this car right now? 1285 01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:04,027 Mom, he's got my gun! 1286 01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:06,896 I told you not to tell fibs! 1287 01:16:06,930 --> 01:16:09,599 Hey! Leave home, kid! 1288 01:16:10,299 --> 01:16:12,636 Hey, dudes! Listen. 1289 01:16:12,669 --> 01:16:14,103 Since I'm springing for the gas, 1290 01:16:14,137 --> 01:16:16,873 you pick up some brews and some sandwich stuff. 1291 01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:19,743 Some brews and some sandwich stuff. 1292 01:16:19,776 --> 01:16:22,879 Yeah. Like bread and junk. OK, dudes? 1293 01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,180 OK, dude. 1294 01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:28,284 Bread and junk. 1295 01:16:32,756 --> 01:16:35,291 Give us bread. We need junk. 1296 01:16:35,324 --> 01:16:39,796 Don't shoot. Don't shoot. I just work here. 1297 01:16:39,829 --> 01:16:42,198 I'm an American. There. Take it. 1298 01:16:42,231 --> 01:16:43,633 [ Ding ] Take it all. 1299 01:16:44,934 --> 01:16:49,038 Where is Candy? Candy? Oh! 1300 01:16:49,072 --> 01:16:52,108 Right here. Take as much as you want. 1301 01:16:55,378 --> 01:16:58,882 Thank you. Thank you too much. 1302 01:16:59,716 --> 01:17:01,150 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 1303 01:17:09,425 --> 01:17:10,426 Hey, troops! 1304 01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:12,696 Had to drain the lizard! 1305 01:17:12,729 --> 01:17:14,397 Be right with you. 1306 01:17:18,802 --> 01:17:20,036 What do I owe you? 1307 01:17:20,069 --> 01:17:21,671 Get down! What? 1308 01:17:21,705 --> 01:17:23,339 Get down! 1309 01:17:25,341 --> 01:17:27,410 I was just held up. 1310 01:17:27,443 --> 01:17:29,112 They're out there. They got guns! 1311 01:17:29,145 --> 01:17:30,213 Guns? 1312 01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:32,248 My buddies are out there. 1313 01:17:49,065 --> 01:17:51,667 Where are they? That green wreck. 1314 01:17:54,971 --> 01:17:57,741 Excuse me. 1315 01:17:57,774 --> 01:17:59,342 Could you back up? 1316 01:17:59,375 --> 01:18:05,281 I need to get some unleaded. 1317 01:18:05,314 --> 01:18:06,049 Back up. 1318 01:18:06,082 --> 01:18:07,951 Back up. 1319 01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:17,827 [ Ding! Ding! ] Aah! 1320 01:18:19,829 --> 01:18:22,231 That's my wagon! 1321 01:18:22,265 --> 01:18:23,466 Back up. 1322 01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:27,036 * Cosmic 1323 01:18:27,070 --> 01:18:29,438 * I was having this out-of-body experience * 1324 01:18:29,472 --> 01:18:31,841 * Of all these cosmic things * 1325 01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:34,310 * Everywhere I went up there * 1326 01:18:34,343 --> 01:18:36,445 * They were shakin' their cosmic things * 1327 01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:38,882 * Like someone gave you a wild goose * 1328 01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:41,084 * Or a freight train with a loose caboose * 1329 01:18:41,117 --> 01:18:42,451 * You better shake your 1330 01:18:42,485 --> 01:18:44,087 * Honey buns 1331 01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:45,822 * Shake your honey buns... 1332 01:18:45,855 --> 01:18:48,892 We are party Martians! We are MTV scum! 1333 01:18:50,393 --> 01:18:52,829 * Shake that cosmic thing * 1334 01:18:52,862 --> 01:18:53,797 * Shake that thing 1335 01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:54,463 * Shake it 1336 01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:57,967 * Shake 1337 01:18:58,001 --> 01:18:59,335 * Shake that thing all night long * 1338 01:18:59,368 --> 01:19:02,038 * Shake it fast, you can't go wrong * 1339 01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:04,407 * Don't let it rest on the president's desk * 1340 01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:07,276 * Rock the house 1341 01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:08,411 * Cosmic 1342 01:19:08,444 --> 01:19:11,848 * Woo, cosmic 1343 01:19:11,881 --> 01:19:15,051 * Cosmic, woo... Hey! 1344 01:19:15,084 --> 01:19:17,053 That looks great! 1345 01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:18,822 * Shake it 1346 01:19:18,855 --> 01:19:19,789 * Cosmic * 1347 01:19:22,125 --> 01:19:23,492 Hey, guys! 1348 01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:25,929 Brunch is ready. Come and get it. 1349 01:19:25,962 --> 01:19:28,064 [ Telephone Rings ] 1350 01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:30,834 Hey, Valerie. It's Woody. 1351 01:19:30,867 --> 01:19:31,868 Hi. 1352 01:19:31,901 --> 01:19:35,104 Listen, you know your friends? Those Finland guys? 1353 01:19:35,138 --> 01:19:36,505 We were heading to the beach-- 1354 01:19:36,539 --> 01:19:39,242 What? They're gone? They're with you? 1355 01:19:39,275 --> 01:19:41,010 No. They were. 1356 01:19:41,044 --> 01:19:44,147 They kind of robbed the mini mart when I wasn't lookin'. 1357 01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:46,149 Then they totaled the gas station. 1358 01:19:46,182 --> 01:19:48,417 Then they ripped off my van! 1359 01:19:48,451 --> 01:19:50,386 I don't belive this! Where are you? 1360 01:19:50,419 --> 01:19:53,089 I'm at the mini mart down the street. 1361 01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:54,858 Toys 'R' Us. 1362 01:19:54,891 --> 01:19:56,225 That's it? 1363 01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:57,994 You seen Zeebo and Wiploc? 1364 01:19:58,027 --> 01:20:00,063 I got water in here. 1365 01:20:00,096 --> 01:20:01,831 Maybe that's one of them. 1366 01:20:01,865 --> 01:20:02,932 Sure? 1367 01:20:02,966 --> 01:20:04,533 Not really. 1368 01:20:04,567 --> 01:20:07,103 Good enough for me. 1369 01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:09,839 So look-- Uh! 1370 01:20:09,873 --> 01:20:11,407 What's going on? 1371 01:20:11,440 --> 01:20:12,475 Woody! 1372 01:20:12,508 --> 01:20:14,343 What's happening? 1373 01:20:14,377 --> 01:20:15,945 I gotta go now, Valerie. 1374 01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:18,214 I'm gettin' my butt kicked. 1375 01:20:20,984 --> 01:20:26,355 * Well, if you plan to motor West * 1376 01:20:28,424 --> 01:20:30,927 * Travel my way 1377 01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:34,130 * Take a highway that's the best * 1378 01:20:36,365 --> 01:20:37,934 * And get your kicks 1379 01:20:37,967 --> 01:20:41,104 * On Route 66... 1380 01:20:41,137 --> 01:20:43,940 Aah! 1381 01:20:43,973 --> 01:20:45,541 * Well, it winds 1382 01:20:45,574 --> 01:20:48,611 * From Chicago to L.A. 1383 01:20:51,114 --> 01:20:54,283 * More than 2,000 miles 1384 01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:57,386 * All the way 1385 01:20:57,420 --> 01:20:59,555 * Get your kicks 1386 01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:02,491 * On Route 66 1387 01:21:02,525 --> 01:21:04,961 Wiploc! 1388 01:21:04,994 --> 01:21:06,229 * Well, it goes to St. Louis * 1389 01:21:06,262 --> 01:21:09,365 * Down to Missouri 1390 01:21:09,398 --> 01:21:12,301 * Oklahoma City, it's oh, so pretty * 1391 01:21:12,335 --> 01:21:14,403 * You'll see 1392 01:21:14,437 --> 01:21:16,205 * Amarillo 1393 01:21:16,239 --> 01:21:18,942 * Gallup, New Mexico 1394 01:21:18,975 --> 01:21:23,646 * Flagstaff, Arizona, don't forget Winona * 1395 01:21:23,679 --> 01:21:27,083 * Kingman, Barstow, San Bernadino * 1396 01:21:27,116 --> 01:21:32,288 * Won't you get hip to this timely tip? * 1397 01:21:32,321 --> 01:21:34,057 Aah! Aah! 1398 01:21:34,090 --> 01:21:39,262 * And you'll take that California trip * 1399 01:21:39,295 --> 01:21:41,264 Oh! Oh! 1400 01:21:41,297 --> 01:21:46,269 * Get your kicks on Route 66 ** 1401 01:21:46,302 --> 01:21:50,539 [ Sirens ] 1402 01:21:56,245 --> 01:21:58,081 You have the right to remain silent. 1403 01:21:58,114 --> 01:22:01,484 Anything you say can and will be used... 1404 01:22:01,517 --> 01:22:02,485 Hey! 1405 01:22:02,518 --> 01:22:04,620 Jail isn't so bad. 1406 01:22:04,653 --> 01:22:07,656 It's where I learned how to surf. 1407 01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:11,494 He's dead meat. You hang 10 now. 1408 01:22:11,527 --> 01:22:13,329 You've got to believe me. 1409 01:22:13,362 --> 01:22:14,730 This is all a misunderstanding. 1410 01:22:14,763 --> 01:22:16,199 Sorry. 1411 01:22:16,232 --> 01:22:17,600 Then arrest me. 1412 01:22:17,633 --> 01:22:18,601 Yeah. 1413 01:22:18,634 --> 01:22:20,636 Stay out of this, flipper. 1414 01:22:20,669 --> 01:22:22,705 You didn't do anything. 1415 01:22:26,609 --> 01:22:29,212 Hey, lady! Don't do that! 1416 01:22:31,314 --> 01:22:33,116 Paramedic unit 104. 1417 01:22:33,149 --> 01:22:35,651 We picked up two victims fitting the description 1418 01:22:35,684 --> 01:22:37,653 of the mini mart robbery suspects. 1419 01:22:37,686 --> 01:22:39,622 Taking them to Our Lady of the Valley Hospital. 1420 01:22:39,655 --> 01:22:41,390 10-13. Copy. 1421 01:22:42,425 --> 01:22:44,193 That's Ted's hospital. 1422 01:22:44,227 --> 01:22:46,495 We have to get there. 1423 01:22:46,529 --> 01:22:50,633 Joe, take us to hospital, please. 1424 01:22:50,666 --> 01:22:52,001 Hey, clown, 1425 01:22:52,035 --> 01:22:54,770 you're going to the slammer. 1426 01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,539 We go to slammer first. 1427 01:22:57,540 --> 01:22:59,575 Give them that love touch, 1428 01:22:59,608 --> 01:23:02,178 then they'll come on to me. 1429 01:23:02,211 --> 01:23:04,413 They'll be putty in my hands. 1430 01:23:04,447 --> 01:23:06,249 You want sex with Joe and Mike? 1431 01:23:06,282 --> 01:23:11,287 No. Just so we can get away. Do it. 1432 01:23:19,262 --> 01:23:20,196 Hey! 1433 01:23:20,229 --> 01:23:22,531 How about those Lakers, huh? 1434 01:23:25,201 --> 01:23:28,271 What about those incredible eyes of yours? 1435 01:23:29,572 --> 01:23:30,806 What? 1436 01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:33,276 They're just this far 1437 01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:36,079 from Liz Taylor violet. 1438 01:23:45,421 --> 01:23:47,656 Oh, Michael! 1439 01:23:50,426 --> 01:23:52,661 Joseph. 1440 01:23:52,695 --> 01:23:54,763 Two new patients in emergency... 1441 01:23:54,797 --> 01:23:57,400 Dr. Love. 1442 01:23:59,268 --> 01:24:02,605 * It's the summer of love, love, love * 1443 01:24:02,638 --> 01:24:06,242 * I'm in love with love, love, love * 1444 01:24:06,275 --> 01:24:10,446 * For everyone transcends here * 1445 01:24:10,479 --> 01:24:13,549 * I'm thinking of you 1446 01:24:13,582 --> 01:24:15,551 * Boy * 1447 01:24:15,584 --> 01:24:18,287 Bye, you guys. Thanks for the lift. 1448 01:24:18,321 --> 01:24:20,123 I hope things work out. 1449 01:24:20,156 --> 01:24:21,357 Bye. 1450 01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:23,259 Happy house hunting. Ciao. 1451 01:24:23,292 --> 01:24:24,860 Thank you very much. 1452 01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:28,664 They're such a nice couple. 1453 01:24:28,697 --> 01:24:30,399 Bye. Bye. 1454 01:24:30,433 --> 01:24:34,537 Totally cool, Tim. 1455 01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:37,540 Ride cool rips all the way in. 1456 01:24:38,841 --> 01:24:41,710 Great. You two. 1457 01:24:41,744 --> 01:24:42,678 Hi, Dr. Dude. 1458 01:24:42,711 --> 01:24:44,780 The party's over. Settle down. 1459 01:24:44,813 --> 01:24:47,116 Take us to Valerie's house. 1460 01:24:47,150 --> 01:24:50,819 You're not setting foot in my house again. 1461 01:24:51,854 --> 01:24:54,123 We're looking for two patients 1462 01:24:54,157 --> 01:24:56,459 who were just admitted. 1463 01:24:56,492 --> 01:24:59,128 That's kind of a nasty bump. 1464 01:24:59,162 --> 01:25:00,129 Does this hurt? 1465 01:25:00,163 --> 01:25:01,697 Aah! 1466 01:25:01,730 --> 01:25:02,565 Good. 1467 01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:05,468 Let's just have a listen here, shall we? 1468 01:25:05,501 --> 01:25:07,636 Surf's up. Surf's up. 1469 01:25:07,670 --> 01:25:10,539 Leave it alone. 1470 01:25:10,573 --> 01:25:12,541 Breathe. 1471 01:25:12,575 --> 01:25:13,509 [ Thump Thump ] [ Thump Thump ] 1472 01:25:13,542 --> 01:25:17,280 Again. 1473 01:25:17,313 --> 01:25:19,682 Wait a second. Breathe. 1474 01:25:20,449 --> 01:25:22,685 Breathe. Breathe. 1475 01:25:23,686 --> 01:25:25,654 It's incredible. 1476 01:25:26,689 --> 01:25:28,724 It's amazing. 1477 01:25:28,757 --> 01:25:30,493 You each... 1478 01:25:30,526 --> 01:25:32,661 have two heartbeats. 1479 01:25:32,695 --> 01:25:34,597 Wiploc and Zeebo? 1480 01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:36,932 What are their last names? 1481 01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:38,801 They don't have last names. 1482 01:25:38,834 --> 01:25:40,536 They're performers like...Cher. 1483 01:25:40,569 --> 01:25:42,871 Oh! 1484 01:25:42,905 --> 01:25:45,474 Yes. They're in the emergency room 1485 01:25:45,508 --> 01:25:47,476 being examined by Dr. Gallagher. 1486 01:25:47,510 --> 01:25:49,578 Oh! He'll dissect them. 1487 01:25:51,580 --> 01:25:53,516 You can't go in there. 1488 01:25:53,549 --> 01:25:56,352 Medical personnel only. 1489 01:25:56,385 --> 01:25:57,653 We've got to get in there. 1490 01:25:59,955 --> 01:26:01,690 I have an idea, but it means 1491 01:26:01,724 --> 01:26:04,827 doing something terrible to an innocent person. 1492 01:26:04,860 --> 01:26:06,529 Let's do it. 1493 01:26:09,698 --> 01:26:11,834 Which floor? 1494 01:26:11,867 --> 01:26:13,402 Two, please. 1495 01:26:13,436 --> 01:26:16,539 I think I'm going to enjoy this. 1496 01:26:20,443 --> 01:26:22,445 Feel this? It's a gun. 1497 01:26:22,478 --> 01:26:23,446 What-- 1498 01:26:23,479 --> 01:26:25,314 Shut up. Walk. 1499 01:26:26,449 --> 01:26:28,717 Come in here. 1500 01:26:28,751 --> 01:26:31,420 Help. She's got a gun. 1501 01:26:31,454 --> 01:26:33,422 Take off your uniform. 1502 01:26:33,456 --> 01:26:34,457 What? 1503 01:26:34,490 --> 01:26:36,425 Take it off! Quick! 1504 01:26:37,526 --> 01:26:40,363 I know you. You're Ted's girlfriend. 1505 01:26:40,396 --> 01:26:41,129 Strip. 1506 01:26:41,163 --> 01:26:43,266 I don't want any part of you, Ted, 1507 01:26:43,299 --> 01:26:45,000 or your kinky sex trips. 1508 01:26:45,033 --> 01:26:46,569 Strip! 1509 01:26:46,602 --> 01:26:47,836 She said strip. 1510 01:26:51,974 --> 01:26:54,677 The call button. Push the call button. 1511 01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:55,411 Nuh-uh. 1512 01:26:55,444 --> 01:26:57,680 You'll go to prison for this... 1513 01:26:57,713 --> 01:26:58,481 Excuse me. 1514 01:26:58,514 --> 01:27:00,883 For molesting me, for having a gun-- 1515 01:27:00,916 --> 01:27:03,686 It's not real. 1516 01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,397 Your heart... Excuse me, Doctor. 1517 01:27:14,430 --> 01:27:17,866 This doctor's here to pick up these patients. 1518 01:27:17,900 --> 01:27:18,934 These guys aren't going anywhere. 1519 01:27:18,967 --> 01:27:21,570 I'm admitting them for observation under my care. 1520 01:27:21,604 --> 01:27:23,372 They seem OK to me. 1521 01:27:23,406 --> 01:27:25,374 Nurse, listen to their hearts, 1522 01:27:25,408 --> 01:27:27,710 and tell me what you hear. 1523 01:27:28,777 --> 01:27:30,746 * Cover of Time Magazine * 1524 01:27:30,779 --> 01:27:32,815 * Man of the year 1525 01:27:32,848 --> 01:27:36,319 * Yes, I'll be rich and famous ** 1526 01:27:36,352 --> 01:27:37,286 I'll be on the Tod show. 1527 01:27:37,320 --> 01:27:39,555 Shh, Zeebo. It's me. 1528 01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:41,490 He sounds perfectly normal to me, Doctor. 1529 01:27:41,524 --> 01:27:43,426 Oh, no. That's impossible. 1530 01:27:43,459 --> 01:27:46,295 They each have two distinct heartbeats. 1531 01:27:46,329 --> 01:27:47,963 Try me, Doctor. 1532 01:27:47,996 --> 01:27:49,698 Yes. I could try you. 1533 01:27:50,899 --> 01:27:52,701 [ Heartbeat Sound ] 1534 01:27:56,672 --> 01:27:58,741 Oh, my God! 1535 01:27:58,774 --> 01:27:59,708 You, too. 1536 01:28:00,743 --> 01:28:02,845 [ Ding! Ding! Ding! ] 1537 01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:07,950 [ Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! ] 1538 01:28:07,983 --> 01:28:09,452 It's my beeper! 1539 01:28:09,485 --> 01:28:12,421 No. My beeper's never done this before. 1540 01:28:12,455 --> 01:28:14,323 [ Ring ] Get the phone. 1541 01:28:14,357 --> 01:28:15,458 What phone, doctor? 1542 01:28:18,594 --> 01:28:19,962 Hello? 1543 01:28:19,995 --> 01:28:23,098 Doctor, I'm afraid you must be hearing things. 1544 01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,400 [ Ruff Ruff Ruff ] 1545 01:28:25,601 --> 01:28:27,870 Yodel-aydi... [ Neigh ] 1546 01:28:27,903 --> 01:28:29,104 Yodel-ay-hee-hoo! 1547 01:28:29,137 --> 01:28:30,973 Is there something wrong, Doctor? 1548 01:28:31,006 --> 01:28:33,776 Oh, hello, Doctor. Should I call you a doctor, Doctor? 1549 01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:36,779 Make it stop! 1550 01:28:36,812 --> 01:28:41,350 I can't stand it. [ Ring ] 1551 01:28:41,384 --> 01:28:43,452 [ Thud, Ring ] 1552 01:28:43,486 --> 01:28:45,588 [ Thud, Ring ] 1553 01:28:45,621 --> 01:28:46,922 [ Thud, Thud ] 1554 01:28:46,955 --> 01:28:47,756 [ Thud, Thud ] 1555 01:28:47,790 --> 01:28:49,925 [ Thud, Thud ] 1556 01:28:50,959 --> 01:28:53,362 You guys, you came this close 1557 01:28:53,396 --> 01:28:55,731 to being a science project. 1558 01:28:55,764 --> 01:28:56,965 Come on. 1559 01:28:56,999 --> 01:28:58,767 Ted's car! Follow me. 1560 01:29:01,136 --> 01:29:03,739 Quick! Get in quick! 1561 01:29:03,772 --> 01:29:07,109 Oh! Oh, God! Here comes Ted! 1562 01:29:07,142 --> 01:29:08,611 Hide! Get down and hide. 1563 01:29:12,948 --> 01:29:14,149 Valerie? 1564 01:29:14,182 --> 01:29:16,118 Sweetheart, I'm so glad to see you. 1565 01:29:16,151 --> 01:29:17,620 Can we go home? 1566 01:29:17,653 --> 01:29:21,390 These last two days have been hell. 1567 01:29:21,424 --> 01:29:24,460 Sweetheart, I actually think I've been hearing things. 1568 01:29:24,493 --> 01:29:26,629 Oh, Val, could you drive? 1569 01:29:26,662 --> 01:29:27,796 Please, Valerie. 1570 01:29:27,830 --> 01:29:29,898 OK, Ted. Here. 1571 01:29:29,932 --> 01:29:31,500 Get in, honey. 1572 01:29:31,534 --> 01:29:33,436 I'm exhausted. 1573 01:29:33,469 --> 01:29:35,838 I thought about what you said. 1574 01:29:35,871 --> 01:29:38,641 I've decided to do something impulsive. 1575 01:29:38,674 --> 01:29:40,743 Let's go to Vegas tonight and get married. 1576 01:29:40,776 --> 01:29:42,478 Tonight? 1577 01:29:42,511 --> 01:29:45,714 What about the church and my dress? 1578 01:29:45,748 --> 01:29:48,917 We can do the big church wedding later. 1579 01:29:48,951 --> 01:29:50,853 Well... 1580 01:29:50,886 --> 01:29:52,888 what do you say? 1581 01:29:52,921 --> 01:29:55,791 I don't know... I'm just so surprised. 1582 01:29:55,824 --> 01:29:57,760 Come on. You wanted surprises. 1583 01:29:59,562 --> 01:30:01,129 Ted. 1584 01:30:01,163 --> 01:30:05,033 [ Love Story Theme Plays ] 1585 01:30:22,150 --> 01:30:24,119 You got to bring 1586 01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:26,121 that one-piece night thing, 1587 01:30:26,154 --> 01:30:27,723 that, uh, corset 1588 01:30:27,756 --> 01:30:30,092 that looks like underwear. 1589 01:30:39,067 --> 01:30:42,871 What is it now? Something old... 1590 01:30:42,905 --> 01:30:45,107 Oh! These pantyhose are old. 1591 01:30:45,140 --> 01:30:47,142 Something new. 1592 01:30:47,175 --> 01:30:49,578 This veil is new. 1593 01:30:51,213 --> 01:30:52,715 Dr. Tushman, please. 1594 01:30:54,783 --> 01:30:56,485 Hey, Barbara, Ted here. 1595 01:30:56,519 --> 01:30:59,254 Listen, uh, I need a really big favor. 1596 01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:00,889 I want you to cover my shift 1597 01:31:00,923 --> 01:31:04,660 at the hospital tomorrow. I'm going to Vegas. 1598 01:31:04,693 --> 01:31:06,662 Well, I'm going to... 1599 01:31:06,695 --> 01:31:09,698 lose a little money, take in a show, 1600 01:31:09,732 --> 01:31:11,099 and get married. 1601 01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:15,771 Barbara. Barbara-- 1602 01:31:15,804 --> 01:31:18,106 Look, just because I'm getting married 1603 01:31:18,140 --> 01:31:21,076 doesn't mean we can't date, all right? 1604 01:31:21,109 --> 01:31:22,911 What? 1605 01:31:30,018 --> 01:31:31,253 [ Speaking Alien Language ] 1606 01:31:35,123 --> 01:31:36,491 Valerie. 1607 01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:39,862 Good-bye. Bye. 1608 01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:43,566 Nice planet you have here. Give Tanya my number. 1609 01:31:43,599 --> 01:31:46,535 Take care, Zeebo. 1610 01:31:47,603 --> 01:31:48,871 Aw, Wiploc. 1611 01:31:48,904 --> 01:31:51,139 I think I'll miss you least of all. 1612 01:31:51,173 --> 01:31:53,141 You got liplock for Wiploc? 1613 01:31:55,077 --> 01:31:58,013 Valerie... 1614 01:31:58,046 --> 01:32:00,215 I don't know the words. 1615 01:32:00,248 --> 01:32:01,183 Oh, Mac. 1616 01:32:01,216 --> 01:32:04,953 I'm going to miss you so much. 1617 01:32:04,987 --> 01:32:07,255 I'll miss you, too. 1618 01:32:07,289 --> 01:32:10,258 Sweetheart, I booked the Cave Man Suite at Cupid's Lodge. 1619 01:32:15,230 --> 01:32:18,000 What the hell is this? 1620 01:32:18,033 --> 01:32:21,670 OK, Ted, they're not a band. 1621 01:32:21,704 --> 01:32:23,806 They're from another planet. 1622 01:32:23,839 --> 01:32:26,709 Go back in the house. I'll be in soon. 1623 01:32:26,742 --> 01:32:29,144 Oh, my God! They're aliens. 1624 01:32:29,177 --> 01:32:31,246 Aliens! Got you covered. 1625 01:32:31,279 --> 01:32:34,817 It's OK. Ted. Ted. It's OK. 1626 01:32:36,251 --> 01:32:37,720 You're contaminated. 1627 01:32:39,955 --> 01:32:40,923 I--I have to go now. 1628 01:32:40,956 --> 01:32:43,726 Ted! I'll call the police. 1629 01:32:43,759 --> 01:32:45,828 I gotta go. Stop it. 1630 01:32:54,102 --> 01:32:55,270 Good-bye, Valerie. 1631 01:33:13,856 --> 01:33:15,858 Mac! 1632 01:33:15,891 --> 01:33:18,694 It didn't work! 1633 01:33:18,727 --> 01:33:19,828 Mac! 1634 01:33:19,862 --> 01:33:22,164 I have to tell you something. 1635 01:33:22,197 --> 01:33:24,767 I love you! Take me with you! 1636 01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:26,735 To Jhazalla? 1637 01:33:26,769 --> 01:33:28,370 Anyplace! 1638 01:33:28,403 --> 01:33:30,639 I am Mr. Right? 1639 01:33:30,673 --> 01:33:32,941 Yes! Yes! 1640 01:33:39,081 --> 01:33:41,650 Well, uh... good-bye, Ted. 1641 01:33:41,684 --> 01:33:44,052 Um, I guess it wasn't meant to be, 1642 01:33:44,086 --> 01:33:46,955 but, uh, I really want to thank you 1643 01:33:46,989 --> 01:33:50,826 for, um...thanks for the, uh... 1644 01:33:51,860 --> 01:33:54,296 Good-bye, Ted. 1645 01:33:59,467 --> 01:34:00,736 Mac! 1646 01:34:15,217 --> 01:34:16,218 Mac! 1647 01:34:18,821 --> 01:34:22,090 Wait, you guys! You can't leave without Margaritas! 1648 01:34:29,998 --> 01:34:33,168 Valerie, what are you doing? 1649 01:34:34,102 --> 01:34:36,071 Good-bye, Candy. I'll miss you. 1650 01:34:36,104 --> 01:34:38,974 Well, good luck, Val. 1651 01:34:39,007 --> 01:34:40,876 Call me. 1652 01:34:44,079 --> 01:34:45,914 [ Meow ] 1653 01:34:45,948 --> 01:34:47,983 Happy trails. 1654 01:34:50,418 --> 01:34:53,488 [ Meow ] Bambi, I never knew. 1655 01:34:53,521 --> 01:34:55,023 Wait! 1656 01:35:01,496 --> 01:35:04,166 Hey! 1657 01:35:04,199 --> 01:35:06,869 Give my love to Finland! 1658 01:35:18,046 --> 01:35:21,116 Oh! Oh! Ha ha ha! 1659 01:35:47,843 --> 01:35:50,846 * People all over the world * 1660 01:35:50,879 --> 01:35:52,380 * Join hands 1661 01:35:52,414 --> 01:35:55,083 * Start a love train, love train * 1662 01:35:55,117 --> 01:35:57,052 * People all over the world * 1663 01:35:57,085 --> 01:35:59,054 * All over the world, join hands * 1664 01:35:59,087 --> 01:36:01,089 * Start a love train 1665 01:36:01,123 --> 01:36:04,426 * Love train, love train 1666 01:36:04,459 --> 01:36:07,863 * First stop that we'll make * 1667 01:36:07,896 --> 01:36:10,165 * Will be England 1668 01:36:12,300 --> 01:36:14,236 * Tell all the folks in Russia * 1669 01:36:14,269 --> 01:36:17,039 * And China, too 1670 01:36:17,072 --> 01:36:19,407 * Get on board 1671 01:36:19,441 --> 01:36:22,110 * Don't you know 1672 01:36:22,144 --> 01:36:24,146 * It's time to get on board * 1673 01:36:24,179 --> 01:36:26,214 * Time to get on board 1674 01:36:26,248 --> 01:36:30,085 * Let the train keep on ridin' * 1675 01:36:30,118 --> 01:36:32,220 * Ridin' on through 1676 01:36:32,254 --> 01:36:35,223 * Ridin' on through 1677 01:36:35,257 --> 01:36:37,525 * People all over the world * 1678 01:36:37,559 --> 01:36:38,526 * Join hands 1679 01:36:38,560 --> 01:36:39,828 * Join your hands 1680 01:36:39,862 --> 01:36:40,829 * And start a love train 1681 01:36:40,863 --> 01:36:41,830 * And start a love train 1682 01:36:41,864 --> 01:36:43,031 * Love train 1683 01:36:43,065 --> 01:36:45,467 * People all over the world * 1684 01:36:45,500 --> 01:36:46,468 * Join hands 1685 01:36:46,501 --> 01:36:47,469 * Everybody 1686 01:36:47,502 --> 01:36:48,470 * Get on the love train 1687 01:36:48,503 --> 01:36:49,938 * Get on the love train 1688 01:36:49,972 --> 01:36:51,173 * Love train 1689 01:36:51,206 --> 01:36:54,409 * All of your brothers 1690 01:36:54,442 --> 01:36:56,211 * Over in Africa 1691 01:36:56,244 --> 01:36:57,279 * Come on now, people 1692 01:36:58,513 --> 01:37:01,449 * Tell all the folks in Egypt * 1693 01:37:01,483 --> 01:37:04,252 * And Israel, too 1694 01:37:05,620 --> 01:37:10,092 * Please don't miss this train * 1695 01:37:10,125 --> 01:37:12,160 * At the station 1696 01:37:13,195 --> 01:37:15,497 * 'Cause if you miss it 1697 01:37:15,530 --> 01:37:20,068 * I feel sorry, sorry for you * 1698 01:37:20,102 --> 01:37:22,370 * Sorry, oh, for you 1699 01:37:22,404 --> 01:37:25,173 * People all over the world * 1700 01:37:25,207 --> 01:37:26,408 * Join hands 1701 01:37:26,441 --> 01:37:28,476 * Start a love train 1702 01:37:28,510 --> 01:37:29,611 * Love train 1703 01:37:29,644 --> 01:37:31,346 * Start a love train 1704 01:37:31,379 --> 01:37:33,081 * Sisters and brothers 1705 01:37:33,115 --> 01:37:34,249 * Join hands 1706 01:37:34,282 --> 01:37:35,483 * Come on 1707 01:37:35,517 --> 01:37:37,252 * Start the love train 1708 01:37:37,285 --> 01:37:41,356 * Get on board 1709 01:37:51,967 --> 01:37:54,202 * Well, yeah 1710 01:37:54,236 --> 01:37:56,204 * People all over the world * 1711 01:37:56,238 --> 01:37:57,239 * Join hands 1712 01:37:57,272 --> 01:37:58,273 * Join your hands 1713 01:37:58,306 --> 01:37:59,274 * And start a love train 1714 01:37:59,307 --> 01:38:00,442 * And start a love train 1715 01:38:00,475 --> 01:38:01,509 * Love train 1716 01:38:01,543 --> 01:38:04,146 * People all over the world * 1717 01:38:04,179 --> 01:38:05,113 * Join hands 1718 01:38:05,147 --> 01:38:06,114 * Everybody 1719 01:38:06,148 --> 01:38:07,115 * Get on the love train 1720 01:38:07,149 --> 01:38:08,150 * Get on the love train 1721 01:38:08,183 --> 01:38:09,117 * Love train 1722 01:38:09,151 --> 01:38:10,352 * Hey 1723 01:38:10,385 --> 01:38:13,555 * First stop that we'll make * 1724 01:38:13,588 --> 01:38:15,991 * Will be England 1725 01:38:18,293 --> 01:38:20,262 * Tell all the folks in Russia * 1726 01:38:20,295 --> 01:38:22,664 * And China, too 1727 01:38:22,697 --> 01:38:25,200 * Get on board 1728 01:38:25,233 --> 01:38:27,702 * Don't you know 1729 01:38:27,735 --> 01:38:30,272 * It's time to get on board * 1730 01:38:30,305 --> 01:38:31,974 * It's time to get on board * 1731 01:38:32,007 --> 01:38:35,643 * And let this train keep on ridin' * 1732 01:38:35,677 --> 01:38:38,146 * Ridin' on through 1733 01:38:38,180 --> 01:38:40,648 * Ridin' on through 1734 01:38:40,682 --> 01:38:43,451 * People all over the world * 1735 01:38:43,485 --> 01:38:44,419 * Join hands 1736 01:38:44,452 --> 01:38:45,453 * Everybody 1737 01:38:45,487 --> 01:38:46,488 * And start a love train 1738 01:38:46,521 --> 01:38:47,522 * Join the love train 1739 01:38:47,555 --> 01:38:48,623 * Love train 1740 01:38:48,656 --> 01:38:51,093 * Come on, come on, come on, come on * 1741 01:38:51,126 --> 01:38:52,327 * Join hands 1742 01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:53,395 * Everybody 1743 01:38:53,428 --> 01:38:54,963 * Get on the love train 1744 01:38:54,997 --> 01:38:56,164 * Yeah 1745 01:38:56,198 --> 01:39:00,068 * Get on board 1746 01:39:00,102 --> 01:39:02,537 * Get on board 1747 01:39:02,570 --> 01:39:04,306 * Get on board 1748 01:39:04,339 --> 01:39:07,409 * Get on board 1749 01:39:07,442 --> 01:39:08,510 * Hey 1750 01:39:08,543 --> 01:39:10,712 * Get on board 1751 01:39:10,745 --> 01:39:13,348 * Well, yeah 1752 01:39:13,381 --> 01:39:16,618 * New York, are you in the house? * 1753 01:39:16,651 --> 01:39:20,755 * L.A., are you in the house? * 1754 01:39:20,788 --> 01:39:24,059 * Motor city, are you in the house? * 1755 01:39:24,092 --> 01:39:25,060 * Everybody 1756 01:39:25,093 --> 01:39:27,495 * Miami, are you in the house? * 1757 01:39:27,529 --> 01:39:29,697 * Start a love train 1758 01:39:29,731 --> 01:39:32,067 * All over the world join hands * 1759 01:39:32,100 --> 01:39:33,035 * Get on 1760 01:39:33,068 --> 01:39:34,102 * Atlanta 1761 01:39:34,136 --> 01:39:35,670 * Get on the love train 1762 01:39:35,703 --> 01:39:37,272 * D.C. 1763 01:39:37,305 --> 01:39:38,640 * All over the world 1764 01:39:38,673 --> 01:39:39,641 * Join hands 1765 01:39:39,674 --> 01:39:40,708 * Everybody 1766 01:39:40,742 --> 01:39:43,011 * Everybody get on the love train * 1767 01:39:43,045 --> 01:39:44,512 * Get on the love train 1768 01:39:44,546 --> 01:39:46,614 * People all over the world * 1769 01:39:46,648 --> 01:39:47,782 * Join hands 1770 01:39:47,815 --> 01:39:51,453 * And start a love train, love train * 1771 01:39:51,486 --> 01:39:52,654 * Everybody 1772 01:39:52,687 --> 01:39:54,489 * People all over the world * 1773 01:39:54,522 --> 01:39:56,358 * Come on, come on, come on, come on * 1774 01:39:56,391 --> 01:39:57,625 * Get on the love train 1775 01:39:57,659 --> 01:39:58,693 * Love train 1776 01:39:58,726 --> 01:40:00,162 * Come on, people, now 1777 01:40:00,195 --> 01:40:02,130 * People all over the world * 1778 01:40:02,164 --> 01:40:04,099 * Join hands 1779 01:40:04,132 --> 01:40:07,135 * And start a love train, love train * 1780 01:40:07,169 --> 01:40:08,436 * All over the world 1781 01:40:08,470 --> 01:40:10,105 * People all over the world * 1782 01:40:10,138 --> 01:40:11,139 * Join hands 1783 01:40:11,173 --> 01:40:13,675 * Come on, boys and girls, join the love train * 1784 01:40:13,708 --> 01:40:14,742 * Love train 1785 01:40:14,776 --> 01:40:16,111 * Don't need no ticket *