1
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:18,329
PAUL: The road of life is
always under construction.
2
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,666
The journey is hard,
3
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,045
but once you reach the top,
the view is amazing.
4
00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:29,340
And that view is
even more beautiful
5
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,592
when you have someone
to share it with.
6
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:32,760
(KNOCKING)
7
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:35,679
Mr. Blart.
8
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,182
PAUL: For six days.
9
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:41,644
My beautiful wife
of almost a week
let me know by letter
10
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,855
that she had
what I like to call
"some regrets."
11
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,274
Her doctor called it
"uncontrollable vomiting."
12
00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:48,400
Oh, honey.
13
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,569
Her lawyer,
"Dissolution of marriage."
14
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,824
That's okay. I needed
a little time to myself.
15
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:56,117
Like the song says,
16
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,161
"I've been to paradise,
but I've never been to me."
17
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,373
I spent the next two
years losing myself
18
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:06,043
in the sweet escape of
keeping the West Orange
Pavilion Mall safe.
19
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,129
At least I still
had the one thing
20
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,965
that never seemed
to let me down.
21
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,216
Security.
22
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,801
Are you lost, son?
23
00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:17,221
Anyway, come with me.
24
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,312
Thank you.
You're very welcome.
25
00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:28,524
Uh, Andy, now give
the fake cop a hug.
26
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,568
We're actually, uh...
We're certified, ma'am.
27
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,320
We, uh, take a test
and everything.
It's pretty vigorous.
28
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:34,864
All right, uh,
hug him, Andy.
29
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:37,158
Well, it was nice to
see you, little man.
30
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,993
You know what, ma'am,
he doesn't want
to give me a hug.
31
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,661
And it's okay.
No, he wants a hug.
32
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,745
I don't think he does.
33
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,038
Hey.
Okay, Andy, hug him.
34
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,040
Honey.
Want to come in?
35
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,959
Sweetie. You're
embarrassing Mommy.
He doesn't want...
36
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,669
No, he's not embarrassing me.
He's fine.
Hug him.
37
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,129
He doesn't have to
hug me. Aw...
38
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,672
(GROANS)
(GASPS)
39
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,592
I saw white.
I saw white.
40
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,220
I'll get him again, ma'am.
I'll find him.
41
00:02:58,304 --> 00:03:00,681
PAUL: And on the home front,
I always had Mom.
42
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:01,807
Oh!
43
00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:03,934
There's my paper.
44
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:05,728
(HORN BLARING)
45
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,481
PAUL: That is, until she got
drilled by a milk truck.
46
00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,775
Didn't know they even
had those anymore. Hmm.
47
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,152
(SIGHS)
48
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,739
I guess I was the last one
to get the memo.
49
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,533
Paul Blart had
officially peaked.
50
00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:25,372
Or had I?
51
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,124
"Congratulations,
Officer Blart.
52
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,292
"You have been
selected to join..."
53
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,003
"Congratulations.
You have been
accepted to UCLA."
54
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,965
Maya! Come down here!
I got some great news!
55
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,967
Me, too!
56
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:42,514
Honey, we've been invited
to the Security Officers
Trade Association Expo
57
00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:46,518
and award ceremony
in Las Vegas, Nevada!
58
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,062
Vegas? Wow.
59
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,563
Yeah, I think I'm
finally being recognized
60
00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,941
for, you know,
getting the mall
out of that jam.
61
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,902
Dad, you saved the mall.
They should honor you.
62
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,155
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.
63
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,783
You know,
times have been tough,
64
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,284
but no matter
what happens,
65
00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:06,622
as long as I
have you by my side,
I'm gonna be okay.
66
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,583
But enough about me.
What's your great news?
67
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,128
Yeah, um,
I just remembered that
68
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,423
we have leftover
baked ziti.
69
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,679
What a day!
70
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:28,769
♪ This is gonna be
the best day of my life
71
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:31,855
r My life
72
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:38,279
♪ This is gonna be
the best day of my life
73
00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:41,323
r My life
74
00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,117
♪ This is gonna be
This is gonna be
75
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,451
♪ This is gonna be
76
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,453
♪ The best day of my life I
77
00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:47,579
(GROANING)
78
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:49,748
Whew!
79
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,209
(SIGHS)
80
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:55,629
Oh, yeah.
81
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:57,715
All right.
82
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,053
Can I help you
with your bags, sir?
83
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,431
Oh, no.
That's how they get you.
(CHUCKLES)
84
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,141
I'll be fine on
my own, thank you.
85
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,350
No problem, sir.
86
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,062
Lift with the legs.
With the legs.
87
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,945
(GROANING)
88
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:21,238
We're moving.
Here we go.
89
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,073
(GROANS)
90
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,160
Nice little break
in the day.
91
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,662
Oh, we're going again.
We're going again.
92
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,706
(GROANING)
93
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:31,999
Legs.
94
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,001
Paul Blart?
Yes, sir.
95
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,338
I thought that was you.
Donna Ericone,
Mall of America.
96
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,923
Man, we still talk about
your Black Friday save.
97
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:41,425
Thank you.
98
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,968
I don't know
if you heard.
99
00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:45,512
There's gonna be
a surprise keynote
speaker tonight.
100
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,848
Word on the street,
it's gonna be the officer
101
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,267
who's gone above and beyond
the call of duty.
102
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,269
What?
103
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,146
I got to be honest,
I... I had a feeling,
104
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,856
but do you really
think that, I mean...
105
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:56,899
Who else?
Yeah.
106
00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:58,609
Unless RoboCop
walks into the room.
107
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,611
Yeah, I would definitely
stand down for RoboCop.
108
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,154
He's not real.
No, I know he's not real,
109
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:03,822
but I would
stand down for him.
110
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:04,948
He ain't real.
111
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,701
Just don't tell
anybody I told you.
112
00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:10,079
Told me what?
About the key...
113
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,539
You got me.
You done gone and got me.
114
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,624
(LAUGHS)
115
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,042
(GROANS)
That was in the throat.
116
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,544
That was in the throat.
117
00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,380
See you tonight.
Yeah, okay.
118
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,757
Roger that, Officer Ericone.
That was straight
to the throat.
119
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,551
That didn't even
glance off the chest.
It went right up.
120
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:25,969
MAN: May I help
the next guest?
121
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,846
Oh, we're next.
Here we go. Yes.
122
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,057
Yello-ha!
123
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,183
Good afternoon.
124
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,643
Welcome to
the Wynn Resort.
125
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,061
Checking in.
126
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,523
Absolutely, Mr. Blart.
127
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,900
(CHUCKLES) Mr. Blart.
128
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,694
You're probably thrown
by the travel wear.
Actually, it's "officer."
129
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,571
Okay, sorry about that.
130
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,990
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, Officer Blart.
131
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,743
Uh, I see we have you in
a partial mountain view,
132
00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:53,872
and you requested
a bottomless bowl
of Peanut M&M's.
133
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,291
Yeah, it's strictly medicinal.
134
00:06:56,417 --> 00:07:00,921
(CHUCKLES) Unfortunately,
I am cursed with hypoglycemia.
135
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,882
Sugar level drops,
so do I.
136
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,384
(WHEEZING LAUGH)
137
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,974
Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, your room
isn't ready yet.
138
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,725
But you can leave
your luggage here,
139
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,978
and I will have it
delivered to your room.
140
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,062
Dad, I'm starving.
141
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,439
Can we just go
get some lunch?
142
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,274
Hold the mayo.
143
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,692
Hold on a second here.
144
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,069
Uh, you probably
didn't know this, Heath,
145
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,946
but if you check
the Grand Ballroom
146
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,574
and see which group is
booked there this evening,
147
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,868
I think your tune
may change a wee bit.
148
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,619
(KEYBOARD KEYS CLAC KING)
149
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:35,414
Mini Kiss.
The cover band.
150
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,874
Yeah, I'm not with them.
151
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,293
Um, is there a manager
I could speak with?
152
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:43,130
(HISSES) You know,
she's not available
right now, so...
153
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,674
You're taking my legs out
from under me here.
154
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,342
Is the Terrace Café
open for lunch?
155
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:48,427
Yes, it is.
156
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,012
I'm out.
157
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:51,889
(SOFTLY)
Bring it in, Heath.
158
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,057
Little tighter,
bring it in. Yes.
159
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:57,019
Just a little
bit closer range.
I can't let this out.
160
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,896
But it seems to be
that I'm going to be
161
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,191
dehveflng
the keynote speech tonight
162
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,902
at the security officers'
convenfion.
163
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,905
Oh, you know,
I think they
canceled that. Um...
164
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,199
Oh, they didn't.
165
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:13,452
But it was downsized
to Conference Room C.
166
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,120
Nope,F.
167
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,998
(GROANS)
Okay, here's a map
of the property.
168
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,208
Okay.
169
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,751
There you are.
170
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,421
Thank you.
No, that's yours to keep.
171
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,632
Oh, don't need it.
It's already been scanned.
172
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,175
(BUZZING NOISE)
Locked and loaded.
173
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:29,510
Thank you.
Time for some lunch.
174
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:30,594
Sir?
Yeah?
175
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,263
Your daughter
and the restaurant
are that way.
176
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:34,806
Hmm.
177
00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:37,184
Yeah, you had that
upside down when I scanned it.
That's why...
178
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,352
It's on you.
179
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:39,478
Was I lying about
the conch fritters?
180
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,521
You were not.
181
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,689
They're amazing,
with just the right
amount of zip.
182
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,316
Oh, yeah,
you got to love the zip.
183
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,901
Oh, I do. I mean,
I was born to zip.
184
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,237
♪ I put my hand upon my hip
When I zip
185
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,696
♪ >a' You zip
a' We zip a'
186
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,864
(LAUGHTER)
187
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,866
LANE: I can't believe
you know that song.
188
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,286
Oh, uh, hey, sir.
You actually forgot
your valet ticket.
189
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,288
Thank you.
It's free.
190
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,124
Yeah.
191
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:02,626
I'm gonna go.
192
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,421
You were born to zip?
193
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,465
Since when do you
use the word "zip"?
194
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,675
I always use
the word "zip."
195
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:10,801
I don't like it.
196
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,304
Hipster talk.
Everybody's zipping.
197
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,932
You need to slow it down,
young lady.
198
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,267
Look,Dad,
you're gonna have to
199
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:19,977
get used to the fact
that I'm a big girl now.
200
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,563
Okay, first of all,
we're all big. We're Blarts.
201
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,648
Wide hips, thick ankles
and a low center of gravity.
202
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,441
That's how
the good Lord made us.
203
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:29,152
That's why we're no
good at running hurdles,
and we never will be.
204
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,530
What is that?
205
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,324
This? Oh, it's my...
My vibrating fork.
206
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,535
It forces me
to eat slower.
207
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,120
You think I
eat fast at home?
208
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:41,164
On vacation,
I'm like a cheetah
chasing a faster cheetah.
209
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,583
(FORK BUZZES)
210
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,002
Okay, see?
Look at that
right there.
211
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,087
(SIGHS)
212
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,422
It's just fuel.
213
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,048
(QUIETLY) It's just fuel.
214
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:51,633
Oh, here you go.
215
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,385
Mr. Blart.
Shanghafl
216
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,178
Sorry. Sorry to
startle you, sir.
217
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,264
That's okay. You just...
You hit the trip wire is all.
218
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,557
Okay.
(CLEARS THROAT)
219
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,184
Well, I'm Divina Martinez,
the hotel's general manager,
220
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,769
and I wanted to apologize
221
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,480
about the confusion
regarding the convention.
222
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,566
And good news,
I upgraded your room.
223
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,192
It has a view
of the Strip.
224
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:13,572
It's ready right now,
and I wanted to give
you the keys personally.
225
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,781
(CHUCKLES)
226
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,783
Oh, uh, sorry about that.
227
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,744
Although, I must say,
you have very soft hands.
228
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:20,662
(SPUTTERING)
229
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,080
Air bag!
230
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:23,457
Excuse me?
231
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,835
(SIGHS) I sense what
you're doing, Divina.
232
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,795
What am I doing?
233
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,882
Truthfully,
being a bit transparent.
234
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,302
I'm sorry,
I don't follow.
235
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,888
(GROANS) Look, I understand
it's the 21st century,
236
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,890
and a woman can go
after hers just like a man.
237
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,642
Dad, I'm pretty sure
she wasn't...
238
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,935
Tadpole, this is
grown-up stuff. Okay?
239
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,855
Look, I know
it takes two to tango,
240
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:49,191
but my dancing shoes
are currently out for repair.
241
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,777
Sir, I'm sorry if I...
242
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,487
Apology not needed.
243
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:57,282
Just know I'm working
my way through a maze
of personal fire,
244
00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:00,035
and until the flames
of chaos subside,
245
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,788
I'm just not ready
for public consumption.
246
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,540
I understand, sir.
247
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:07,167
Have a great stay.
248
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,798
It's not just me, right?
I mean, she was relentless.
249
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,134
Relentless.
250
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,678
Hola, mi amor.
251
00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,432
What troubles you,
my pet?
252
00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:26,269
I just had
the strangest exchange
with that guy over there.
253
00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,022
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
254
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,399
Yeah.
255
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,776
He accused me
of hitting on him.
256
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,779
Huh. Funny.
257
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:39,116
They say overweight
people use humor
to achieve affection.
258
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,744
You know what,
that makes sense.
259
00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,037
(MAN LAUGHS)
260
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,665
Excuse me,
Ms. Martinez?
261
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:48,208
Our VIP guest has arrived.
262
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,376
Thank you.
263
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,378
Okay.
264
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,008
Welcome back to Wynn
Las Vegas, Mr. Sofel.
265
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,137
We have the accommodations
you requested
all ready for you.
266
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,972
If you need
anything at all, please,
267
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,807
don't hesitate to
call either myself
268
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,059
or our head of security,
Mr. Furtillo.
269
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,437
You guys took me
for a lot of money
on my last visit.
270
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,939
Well, I hope you're able to
turn that around this time.
271
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,067
Oh, I plan to.
272
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,362
I got to say,
I don't know how
this is an upgrade.
273
00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:20,741
I'll tell you what,
Maya, you take the bed.
I will take the rollaway.
274
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,075
Dad, this is
yourconvenflon.
275
00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,744
You can't sleep
on the rollaway.
276
00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,580
I certainly can, okay?
I once fell asleep
raking leaves.
277
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,415
We'll figure it out later.
I got to get going.
278
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,917
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay.
279
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,336
Thanks for telling me
Victoria's secret.
280
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,755
What do you think
you're wearing,
younglady?
281
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,339
Um, a bathing suit?
282
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,091
Maybe for an elf.
283
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,844
Decorum. De-cor-um.
284
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,471
I was just going to
hang out by the pool.
285
00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,139
Yeah, well,
not in that, you're not.
286
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,099
(SIGHS) Fine.
287
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,642
Then I'm going exploring.
Hold up.
288
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,186
You got your
extra phone battery?
Yes.
289
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,270
Flashlight?
Always.
290
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,396
Hot pepper spray?
Check.
291
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,064
Pocketknife
keychain window smasher?
I do.
292
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,483
Baby road flares?
293
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,109
Yes, I've got it all!
294
00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,945
One more second here.
There.
(CHIRPS)
295
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,448
I've set it to monitor,
so I can hear everything
that's going on.
296
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,909
Oh, no way. I already
feel like a SWAT unit.
297
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,703
Maya! Security
is a mission.
298
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,038
(SIGHS)
299
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,539
Not an intermission.
300
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,458
(GROANS)
301
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,797
Well,
let's see if I bankrolled
the right NSA agent.
302
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:23,345
(BEEP S)
303
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,430
(WHIRRING)
304
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,729
How's that?
So far, so good.
305
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,814
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
306
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:43,406
Excuse me, guys,
307
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,950
uh, but we have
a complaint about the noise.
308
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,164
That's why we have you.
309
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,542
Gotta say, Henk,
nice uniform.
310
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:56,837
Right? Look at that.
(LAUGHS) Smiley.
311
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,922
You don't want to know
what it took to
get the real deal.
312
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,382
No, I don't.
313
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,551
Ah, okay.
314
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,469
They've moved
several of the pieces
in the last few days.
315
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:06,721
Here's the new
locations of all 13.
(BEEPS)
316
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,684
Perfect. All right,
I want to be in and out
317
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,102
inlessthan
nine hours, people.
318
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,270
ROBINSON: Sync up.
319
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:15,981
Sync.
320
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,443
VINCENT: Let's go!
321
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,445
(CHEERING)
322
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,781
Yes, shooter, yes! Yeah!
323
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,577
What's all the hoopla,
friend?
324
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,870
This guy's crushing.
325
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,621
I'm literally running
out of room for my chips.
326
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,707
He's on the greatest run
I've ever seen!
327
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,083
Sir, you're gonna
have to place a bet
328
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:36,209
if you want to stand
at the table.
329
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:38,545
Oh, I don't know
how to play craps,
but I'll tell you what,
330
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,463
Lady Luck's certainly
been in my corner as of late.
331
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,049
So I am in, okay?
What do I do?
332
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,969
Oh, it's easy. Give me $60.
We'll place the six.
333
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,597
$60.
60 bucks.
334
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,558
Wow, this is exciting.
I got to be honest,
very exciting.
335
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,226
Whew!
Sir, can I
get you a drink?
336
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,561
Oh, uh...
337
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:55,854
You know what,
how much for a root beer?
338
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,899
'Cause I'm
currently very invested
in Mr. Wynn's casino.
339
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,942
Well, actually,
it's complimentary.
340
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,485
Complimentary.
341
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,446
I love it!
Root beers around the horn!
342
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,698
What do you...
Just one is fine. Just one.
343
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:07,991
MAN: Sir, come on.
This table's really hot.
344
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,868
Give me 20 bucks
for the hard six.
Okay, $20.
345
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,161
Give me $20 for
the hard eight.
$20.
346
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,913
Give me $25 for
the horn high yo.
$25.
347
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,831
Give me $20 on the field.
That's all I have.
348
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,541
The field is out there.
No more bets.
349
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,336
All right!
I've never felt more alive!
MAN 1: Whoo!
350
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,004
Shooter, come on! Number...
351
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,672
MAN 2: Seven out. Craps.
(ALL GROANING)
352
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,341
WOMAN: Loser!
MAN 3: Fat guy ruined it.
353
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,259
You lost everything.
MAN 4: Oh, you suck!
354
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,596
MAN 2: Get your bets down,
C and E's, horn bets,
high-lows.
355
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,223
Get this game going.
Your root beer, sir.
356
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,475
Thank you.
357
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,569
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
358
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,031
Yeah, I would love that.
359
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,909
That's a very good choice.
Nice. Gold.
360
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,578
(COUPLE SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY)
361
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:56,581
Yeah, exactly.
It was him.
You guys... Oh.
362
00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:57,666
Let's go.
363
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,336
MAYA: How long
have you worked here?
364
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,713
Not too long.
Uh, is that your dad?
365
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,635
(SIGHS)
366
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:12,222
I wish I could
say no right now.
I'll be right back.
367
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,849
(EXASPERATED CHUCKLE)
368
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,601
D
Hey! ad?
369
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,645
See you later, Tom and Rita.
You guys are awesome.
Take care.
370
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,313
I'll see you
at the reception.
I'm not gonna go.
371
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,731
I'm not gonna go.
I'm not gonna go.
372
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,233
Dad, are you
spying on me?
373
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,359
Spying?
374
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,819
No. No, no, no.
I, uh...
375
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,238
Dad,youTe
embarrassing me!
376
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,534
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I'll... I'll leave you alone.
377
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,743
Please.
378
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,665
MAN: Blart!
379
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,375
Saul Gundermutt,
380
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,294
head of the Security Officers
Trade Association.
381
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:44,838
I catch you at a bad time?
382
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,715
Uh,no.No,no.
It's a pleasure, sir.
383
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,091
Ah, pleasure's mine.
384
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:52,595
And I just want you to know
that I got you sitting
at my table tonight.
385
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,765
I got to say, sir,
I am just so excited.
386
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,767
I'm gonna be honest,
I did hear rumblings.
387
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,602
(CHUCKLES)
Rumblings?
388
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,812
About the keynote.
389
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:03,440
(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah.
Well, with good reason.
390
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,733
(CHUCKLING)
Nick Panero's giving it.
391
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,027
Great guy, great 9W-
392
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,946
Yeah, Nick Panero. Those...
Those were the rumblings.
393
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,990
(HOARSELY)
That is just terrific.
394
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,034
It really is. That's...
I'm so happy.
395
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:15,702
You know, maybe I could
meet him sometime.
396
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,912
Pick his brain...
Ah! Here's your chance.
397
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:21,416
Blart, Officer Nick Panero
and Officer Gino Chizetti.
398
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:22,709
Hey, Officer Panero.
399
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,419
Hold the applesauce,
hotshot.
400
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,962
I heard of you.
Rumor has it you thought
401
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,422
you were giving
the keynote tonight.
402
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,299
He thought he was giving it.
You thought
you were giving it?
403
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,092
No. You know what,
I never said...
NICK: Man, you gotta stop
404
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,969
bringing up that
Black Friday thing, Blart.
405
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,096
It was, like,
six years ago.
You got to let it go.
406
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,057
I never brought up
Black Friday. I...
407
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:47,400
I heard you're pretty good
on one of those things.
408
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,235
I've been known to dabble.
409
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,699
I, uh...
I really shouldn't.
410
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,452
MAN: Actually, sir,
you can't.
411
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,703
I'll need a valid
driver's license
412
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,163
if you want to take it
for a test drive.
413
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,541
Yeah, I'm all-access,
if you'll peep
the laminate, okay?
414
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:06,336
Let me just nudge her
out of whisper mode.
(BEEP)
415
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,298
Oh... Ooh... Mmm...
416
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:13,343
Okay, well, I see you know
your way around a p133.
417
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,012
I do, I do,
but this gal's
a bit tired.
418
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,516
I got a modified
i2 Commuter myself.
419
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,101
Still gonna need
a valid license, though.
420
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,602
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
421
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:26,189
How's that?
Is that valid enough for you?
422
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:27,816
(PAUL LAUGHS)
423
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,610
(HUMMING LIVELY RHYTHM)
424
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,032
That was pretty valid, huh?
425
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,118
Oh, yeah.
Please be careful, sir.
426
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:39,661
It's about
weight distribution.
427
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:42,455
Make sure both your hands
are firmly on the grips.
428
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,750
Oh, I guess you wouldn't
want me doing this!
429
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,961
Aah! (CHUCKLES)
430
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,045
Oh!
431
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:50,713
Yeah!
Please don't.
432
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,423
Whoo...
(BRAKES SQUEALING)
433
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:53,633
Oh!
434
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,343
(LAUGHS) Missed. Oh!
435
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:56,469
SAUL: Oh! Blart!
436
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,096
You see that?
That's not good.
437
00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,264
(WHIMPERS)
438
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,515
(GROANS)
439
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,892
(WOOZILY)
Still got the laminate.
440
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,397
(SEGWAY SPUTTERING)
441
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:13,444
Dad, are you okay?
You should really
get checked out.
442
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:15,989
Pumpkin, my body's fine.
443
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,074
It's my ego that took a hit.
444
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,994
It turns out I'm not giving
the keynote tonight.
445
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,413
Well, you know what?
446
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,582
You should call a cop,
because you got robbed.
447
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,708
(CHUCKLES)
448
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,294
Well, thanks, kitten.
Technically,
I don't need a cop.
449
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:30,879
It's a figure
ofspeech, Daddy.
No, no, I know.
450
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,297
I'm just saying,
you know,
451
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,673
just that cops think
they're all that,
452
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,633
and I don't like it.
453
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,429
I do not like it.
454
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:44,100
Oh, boy. We got
a meet-and-greet in 15.
455
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,395
Aah! I was wrong!
The body does hurt.
456
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,731
(GROANING)
Ooh, lactic acid!
457
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,024
(GROANS)
458
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,443
Honey, you're not
even dressed. Come on.
459
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,861
Hmm... As exciting
as that sounds,
460
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:57,280
I think I'm just gonna
take a bath and a nap.
461
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,489
I'm kind Of tired.
462
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,283
Oh.
463
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,620
Okay, yeah. I mean,
no, you should, uh...
464
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,788
You should get some rest.
465
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,459
Well, I'll come back
and get you for dinner
at Bartolotta,
466
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,377
'cause we got
reservations at 6:00.
467
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,795
It's supposed to be
the real deal.
468
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,172
Gotcha.
469
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:17,634
(DOOR CLOSES)
470
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,763
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey,Dad?
471
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,766
I'm really sorry
about the speech.
472
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,310
I'll see you later.
473
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,482
(DOOR CLOSES)
474
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,363
NICK: I got this one guy
against the wall.
475
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,073
He's really sweating.
He knows it's over.
476
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,116
Then out of
the corner of my eye
I see this other guy,
477
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,328
and then I turn
to him and I say,
"Hand over the yogurt."
478
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,955
it was over that fast.
(SNAPS FINGERS)
479
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,790
Lights out.
Lights out.
480
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,292
Hey, how much
you pay for that belt?
481
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,754
I don't know. It was
a gift from my daughter.
482
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,757
You got a guy?
'Cause I got a guy.
483
00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,551
No... No,
I don't have a belt guy.
484
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:02,053
That's crazy. What,
you don't got a belt guy?
485
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,513
No, I don't have
a belt guy.
486
00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:05,515
Khan Mubi.
Nice to meet.
487
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,810
Khan Mubi.
Nice to meet.
Aw.
488
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,728
(G ROANS)
Nice to meet you.
489
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,021
It's been a heck of a day,
490
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,439
and that embrace
certainly helped.
491
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,901
So thank you.
Oh, first one warmed me up,
this one brought it home.
492
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,611
I think you kissed
the shoulder.
493
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,196
All right, thank you.
(LAUGHS)
494
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,531
My pleasure.
495
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,617
Okay.
It's time to go.
496
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:27,078
It is. And I think
the doors are open, so...
497
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,621
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
498
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:29,789
Wow!
499
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:36,546
What's the latest, friend?
500
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,047
The Big Sticky Mess.
501
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:40,300
A grenade launcher
that shoots glue foam.
502
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,308
Marbles. You can't run
with these under your feet.
503
00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:49,767
You can't even stand.
504
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,897
The Vitru Sonic Taser
renders your assailant
505
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,775
incapacitated for
five seconds at a time.
506
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:00,903
(LOUD CLUNK)
Ow!
507
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:03,489
Hey,PauL
508
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,283
Hey,SauL
What you got there?
509
00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:07,577
Oh, it's getting revealed
tomorrow at the luncheon.
510
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,079
It's a prototype.
I'm not supposed
to show anybody,
511
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:14,542
but since you're into
gyro-performance vehicles,
take a gander.
512
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,762
Things will
never be the same.
513
00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:30,892
(ELECTRONIC DING)
514
00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:43,363
Oh, no! Oh...
515
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:46,074
Are you kidding me?
Oh, great.
516
00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:49,619
WOMAN: Are you okay?
Oh, thank you so much.
517
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,621
(OTHERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
518
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:54,540
(BEEP)
519
00:22:58,461 --> 00:23:00,213
Okay, here we go.
Thanks.
520
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:01,964
See you.
Have a good day.
521
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:05,051
Hey, check it out, guys.
522
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,177
When you want them
to pay the price,
523
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:07,261
you reach
for The Finisher.
524
00:23:07,345 --> 00:23:11,140
The most effective
non-lethal beanbag firearm
on the market today.
525
00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,434
Why don't you
give it a spin?
526
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,561
Me?
Yeah. It's easy.
527
00:23:15,645 --> 00:23:17,230
(SIGHS) okay-
528
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,399
(CLEARS THROAT';
529
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:24,195
(CLEARS THROAT';
530
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,321
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
531
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,031
PAUL: Laser focus.
532
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:28,616
(TAKES DEEP BREATH)
533
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:31,327
Exhale, pull the trigger.
Predator.
534
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,248
The adjustments
are off on the sight.
535
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:36,707
I can tell,
it's a little off here.
536
00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:38,418
That's the problem.
(EDUARDO CHUCKLES)
537
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:40,711
Paul Blart, Mall Cop.
Yes, sir?
538
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:43,506
Eduardo Furtillo,
head of security
of Wynn Las Vegas.
539
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:45,967
Oh. Pleasure to meet
a fellow brother-in-arms.
540
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,261
You know, uh,
a fun fact for you,
you might not notice,
541
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:51,848
but Mr. Furtillo here,
being the head of security,
542
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,224
is in a black coat while...
543
00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,268
I'm sorry, son,
I didn't get your name.
Jenkins.
544
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,145
...Jenkins is
in a purple coat.
545
00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:59,480
See, there's
a hierarchy of coat colors
546
00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:01,774
based on their
security responsibilities.
547
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:05,194
Black, gray, pine,
and then, last, purple.
548
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,779
Sorry, no offense.
549
00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:10,199
You're wearing
a polyester shirt
with Spanx underneath.
550
00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:12,118
(QUIETLY)
Yes. Good catch.
551
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:16,038
I see you admiring
the non-lethals.
552
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:17,248
Yeah.
553
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:20,460
Iguessthey
don't trust you with
the real stuff, huh?
554
00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,545
(STAMMERING) No, they do,
but we choose not to.
555
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,881
I mean, what are you
really guarding anyway?
556
00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:28,092
(CHUCKLES)
Cell phone covers
and Cinnabon?
557
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:30,178
There's also three ATMs
and a Dave & Buster's
558
00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:33,181
that just is off
the hook after 9:00.
ltjust gets crazy.
559
00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:34,474
Huh.
560
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:36,392
By the way,
as a professional courtesy,
561
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:37,977
I'm happy to
keep my eyes peeled
562
00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:40,730
for any irregularities
while I'm here, so...
563
00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,732
Hey. Closer.
564
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:43,941
Hmm?
565
00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:45,193
Closer.
566
00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:50,740
Since I was named
head of security
five years ago,
567
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:53,576
we have not had so much
as a towel go missing.
568
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:56,245
Your mother must be
very proud of your
accomplishments.
569
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,377
Ooh, that got real.
570
00:25:08,049 --> 00:25:10,426
Wow, that was impressive.
571
00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:13,054
Was it me, or did he smell
like tobacco and vanilla?
572
00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,181
'Cause I got a...
I don't know
if it's cologne...
573
00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:16,432
Let's just get
some yogurt.
574
00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:20,478
(BEEP)
575
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:28,361
Maya?
576
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:30,446
Honey, I've been
thinking about the menu,
577
00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:34,116
and I don't care,
I'm going double parm. So...
578
00:25:35,076 --> 00:25:36,077
(KNOCKS)
579
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,037
Sunshine,
you still in the tub?
580
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:40,540
Honey?
581
00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:51,133
Get me security!
582
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:54,929
LANE: That's so cool,
you got into UCLA.
You must be stoked!
583
00:25:55,429 --> 00:25:58,432
Uh, not really.
I haven't been able
to tell my clad.
584
00:25:58,516 --> 00:26:00,643
Why not? That's huge!
Don't you think
he'll be excited?
585
00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:02,228
I don't think
he can handle it.
586
00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:04,855
My parents were thrilled
when I got my GED.
587
00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:07,567
Wow. That is so cool
your parents support you
like that.
588
00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,527
Yup. Third time
was the charm.
589
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,070
(LAUGHS)
590
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,656
I'm not kidding.
Was closer to four,
actually.
591
00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:14,740
(ELECTRONIC DING)
592
00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:19,870
Oh, no. I got to go.
I was supposed to
meet my dad for dinner.
593
00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:21,414
Okay, cool.
Maybe I'll see you later.
594
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,582
Yeah. I hope so.
595
00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:23,666
Yeah, okay.
596
00:26:28,713 --> 00:26:30,798
My daughter's missing.
She's not answering her phone.
597
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:35,636
Mr. Blart, I want you
to know that we will get
to the bottom of this,
598
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,179
despite our differences.
599
00:26:39,056 --> 00:26:40,308
(QUIETLY)
Differences?
600
00:26:40,391 --> 00:26:41,851
We need to
establish motive.
601
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,185
Do you have
a lot of money?
602
00:26:43,311 --> 00:26:44,812
Define "a lot."
I mean, there's...
Any.
603
00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:47,607
No. Actually,
I don't have a lot, no.
604
00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:49,150
All right,
are you an important man?
605
00:26:49,233 --> 00:26:50,818
Well, you know,
that depends who you ask.
606
00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,194
I got to be honest.
607
00:26:53,863 --> 00:26:56,032
Could this be some
domestic situation?
608
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,700
Your wife got angry?
I'm not married.
609
00:26:57,783 --> 00:26:58,951
Your girlfriend
found out you...
610
00:26:59,035 --> 00:27:00,369
No girlfriend,
I don't have a girlfriend.
(EXHALES)
611
00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:02,121
Does anybody love you?
Yes. My daughter,
612
00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:03,331
and she's been kidnapped.
613
00:27:03,414 --> 00:27:04,498
You know,
since she's an adult,
614
00:27:04,582 --> 00:27:06,584
normally we're not gonna file
a missing persons report
615
00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,169
till she's gone
for at least 24 hours.
616
00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:09,462
Well, let me
tell you something.
617
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:12,298
I've been in
the security game
for over 16 years,
618
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:13,841
and I've seen things
that you would not
comprehend.
619
00:27:13,924 --> 00:27:15,092
(PHONE RINGING)
620
00:27:15,176 --> 00:27:18,512
Understand this.
We are pulling
the trigger, boys.
621
00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:21,932
Now, I need you to
establish a perimeter
and lock down the premises.
622
00:27:22,016 --> 00:27:23,100
(RINGING CONTINUES)
623
00:27:23,184 --> 00:27:24,310
You going to
answer that?
624
00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:25,811
We're losing
precious time!
625
00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:29,315
This is Officer Blart.
I need to keep this line...
626
00:27:29,398 --> 00:27:30,399
Hmm?
627
00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:33,611
(QUIETLY) Yep. No, no.
Okay. I see.
628
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,906
Yes. No, no, I can't...
I can't... (CLEARS THROAT)
629
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,866
I can't talk
about it right now.
630
00:27:38,949 --> 00:27:40,951
Okay, okay, okay.
Now, we're gonna talk...
631
00:27:41,035 --> 00:27:42,662
We're gonna talk
about it later.
We're gonna talk about...
632
00:27:42,745 --> 00:27:44,664
I gotta get going-
I'm going.
633
00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:49,126
(PEN CLICKS)
634
00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:57,843
(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah,
that was my daughter.
635
00:27:57,927 --> 00:27:58,969
She's calling
from the restaurant.
636
00:27:59,053 --> 00:28:00,930
She just...
She just called.
637
00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:02,723
(STAMMERING)
She's good.
638
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,935
(LONG SIGH)
639
00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:10,898
My agents are highly
trained professionals
640
00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:13,359
that do not have time
to let you play out
641
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:17,780
your little fantasies
about being a real cop,
Mr. Blart.
642
00:28:17,863 --> 00:28:20,408
Totally understand.
I get it.
Yeah, you're right.
643
00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:24,704
It is Officer Blart.
(QUIET CHUCKLE)
644
00:28:24,787 --> 00:28:26,205
(DOOR OPENS)
645
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:28,624
(DOOR CLOSES)
646
00:28:43,973 --> 00:28:46,183
Hey,Dad.
I ordered your favorite.
647
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:49,770
Oh, really?
Well, you know what?
I've lost my appetite.
648
00:28:49,854 --> 00:28:52,898
What has gotten into you?
You lied to me.
649
00:28:52,982 --> 00:28:54,525
You said you were
taking a nap.
650
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:56,110
Well, I was going to,
but...
651
00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:57,653
Mmm, you never
called me once.
652
00:28:57,737 --> 00:29:00,865
You leave the bath filled,
which could have
caused water damage,
653
00:29:00,948 --> 00:29:03,451
candles lit, which could have
burnt down Las Vegas, Nevada.
654
00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:06,328
I'm sorry. It's just
that Lane invited me
to go out to the pool...
655
00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:09,039
Lane? Lane?
That's what this
betrayal's about?
656
00:29:09,123 --> 00:29:11,584
Chicken Chow Lane?
657
00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:13,711
Dad, people are looking.
658
00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:14,795
What happened
to her, Maya?
659
00:29:14,879 --> 00:29:17,590
What happened to
the pristine girl
who could never tell a lie?
660
00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:19,550
What happened to my
little George Washington?
661
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:21,427
George Washington?
He could never tell a lie.
662
00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:22,887
He was full truth
in a powdered wig.
663
00:29:23,345 --> 00:29:25,014
I think
you're overreacting.
Oh, really?
664
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:26,724
And when were you gonna
tell me about that?
665
00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:30,352
Where did you find this?
Please, Maya,
666
00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:32,062
I'm a highly trained
security specialist.
667
00:29:32,146 --> 00:29:34,106
You can't expect to
keep secrets from me.
668
00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:37,318
I didn't think
I'd get in.
(SIGHS)
669
00:29:38,194 --> 00:29:40,237
I didn't even know
you applied there.
670
00:29:40,321 --> 00:29:42,865
What happened to
Central Jersey Applied
Technical Junior College?
671
00:29:42,948 --> 00:29:45,451
We're talking about
UCLA here.
672
00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:47,328
Yeah, I thought we were
talking about CJATJC.
673
00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:48,496
Dad, you don't understand.
674
00:29:48,579 --> 00:29:50,623
I have a chance
to go to California.
675
00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:54,585
Maya, California,
it's too far away.
676
00:29:57,338 --> 00:29:58,923
Well, think about it
this way.
677
00:29:59,006 --> 00:30:00,382
You could come visit me
in the wintertime
678
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:01,967
when it's really
cold in Jersey.
679
00:30:02,051 --> 00:30:05,137
Oh, of course I can,
if I want some smog
on my earthquake flakes!
680
00:30:07,431 --> 00:30:10,100
You know what?
I've decided. I'm going.
681
00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:12,561
Wait, wait.
You just decided?
Mmm-hmm.
682
00:30:12,645 --> 00:30:15,022
Well, you know what?
Decision overruled.
683
00:30:15,105 --> 00:30:16,774
Judge Blart
now in session!
684
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:26,784
I know you've
lost a lot lately,
and you're scared,
685
00:30:29,578 --> 00:30:32,748
(VOICE BREAKING)
but what you're doing
right now is so wrong.
686
00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:38,254
I'm going to UCLA.
687
00:30:38,629 --> 00:30:40,881
Uh, Maya, Maya,
you get back...
688
00:30:41,632 --> 00:30:42,800
Maya.
689
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,394
Paul? I catch you
at a bad time?
690
00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:55,020
I want you to
meet the wife.
691
00:30:55,104 --> 00:30:56,146
Oh!
692
00:30:56,230 --> 00:30:58,023
Okay.
Nice to meet you.
693
00:30:58,107 --> 00:31:00,025
Nice to meet you, yeah.
Are you here
with your wife?
694
00:31:00,109 --> 00:31:01,527
Uh, daughter.
Oh, yeah.
695
00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:05,364
It's our last trip together
before she goes off
to college.
696
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,907
(GASPS)
Ouch.
697
00:31:06,991 --> 00:31:07,992
Oh...
Crusher.
698
00:31:08,075 --> 00:31:09,577
Gosh, ours just
went last year.
699
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:10,661
Yeah.
700
00:31:10,744 --> 00:31:13,956
It was just as
depressing as Idaho.
701
00:31:14,582 --> 00:31:16,166
Yeah, the silence
was unbearable.
702
00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:18,127
I mean, the house
was like a cold tomb
of loneliness.
703
00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:20,880
Anyway...
704
00:31:20,963 --> 00:31:22,798
I would get so sad.
Oh, honey.
705
00:31:23,632 --> 00:31:25,509
When you would
leave for work...
Mmm-hmm.
706
00:31:26,594 --> 00:31:29,597
I would just fire up
the Sarah McLachlan,
walk into her closet
707
00:31:29,722 --> 00:31:32,099
and smell the sweaters
that she left behind.
(SIGHS)
708
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,184
(WHISPERS)
Yeah, I smell them.
I smell the sweaters.
709
00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:36,770
Well, at least I have
this little angel
to get me through.
710
00:31:36,854 --> 00:31:38,105
Oh...
711
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:39,440
I mean,
can you imagine
712
00:31:39,523 --> 00:31:41,233
trying to get
through it alone?
No, I couldn't do it.
713
00:31:41,317 --> 00:31:43,152
Oh, could not do it.
I could never
do that alone.
714
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:44,820
Mmm. I love you.
715
00:31:44,904 --> 00:31:46,071
Love you, too.
716
00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:51,285
Can't wait to
meet your wife.
(SLURPS)
717
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:52,870
Oh, yeah,
that'd be terrific.
Yeah.
718
00:31:52,953 --> 00:31:54,079
Vegas, baby!
719
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:55,873
Let's hit the tables!
(LAUGHS)
720
00:31:55,956 --> 00:31:57,207
Have her call me
if you want to
721
00:31:57,291 --> 00:31:59,001
gethernafls
done or whatever.
722
00:32:04,006 --> 00:32:05,215
(SIGHING) All right.
723
00:32:24,652 --> 00:32:25,653
VINCENT: Problem?
724
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:27,488
They've already
upgraded the lock
725
00:32:27,571 --> 00:32:29,865
on Mr. van Gogh
to the dual control.
726
00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:32,952
You said the upgrades
weren't scheduled
till tomorrow.
727
00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:35,371
Because that is what
the security e-mail said.
728
00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:37,373
Now, I do have
a guy on the inside
729
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,833
who was supposed to alert me
if the schedule changed.
730
00:32:39,917 --> 00:32:41,293
Obviously, he didn't.
731
00:32:41,669 --> 00:32:42,795
Options.
732
00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:45,089
We disable both controls
at the exact same moment
733
00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,674
with a thermal lance.
Now, it can be done,
734
00:32:46,757 --> 00:32:48,425
but that's gonna
push us back.
735
00:32:49,051 --> 00:32:50,636
Okay.
736
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:53,472
Let's switch out all
the other pieces before
the rest get upgraded.
737
00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:55,140
Then we can focus
on the van Gogh.
738
00:32:55,224 --> 00:32:56,433
It's number one
on our buyer's list,
739
00:32:56,517 --> 00:32:57,935
and I am not
leaving without it.
740
00:33:00,562 --> 00:33:01,939
Everybody listen up.
741
00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:03,816
We're going now.
742
00:33:03,899 --> 00:33:05,484
Now, we're leaving
the van Gogh for last,
743
00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:08,112
so Nadia will coordinate
the new order.
744
00:33:08,195 --> 00:33:11,490
They say Las Vegas
has the best security
in the world.
745
00:33:11,573 --> 00:33:13,450
Well, we're about
to find out.
746
00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:16,745
Bring me your guy
on the inside.
747
00:33:19,289 --> 00:33:20,874
NICK: What'd I do, huh?
WOMAN: You don't get it.
748
00:33:20,958 --> 00:33:22,209
You just do not get it.
Get what?
749
00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:23,794
I said you had
nice hair and nice teeth.
750
00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:25,379
Officer needs assistance.
751
00:33:25,462 --> 00:33:26,755
WOMAN: Don't you get it?
752
00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:28,966
You smell like
peat moss and curry,
753
00:33:29,049 --> 00:33:30,467
and I think
I'm gonna throw up.
754
00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:32,344
You don't want to
go out with me?
755
00:33:32,428 --> 00:33:35,472
Whoa. Seems to me
like two nice people
756
00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:37,224
are trying to board
the peace train,
757
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:39,018
but she seems
to have derailed.
758
00:33:39,101 --> 00:33:42,021
Look, this hairy,
drunk rent-a-cop
759
00:33:42,104 --> 00:33:44,314
confused "go away"
for "hit on me."
760
00:33:44,398 --> 00:33:46,108
Hey...
Ma'am,
Officer Panero here,
761
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:48,652
who,
in my professional opinion,
doesn't seem drunk,
762
00:33:48,736 --> 00:33:51,405
has at least
three years' training
in distress recognition.
763
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:54,783
I'm sure he sensed that
an attractive lady
sitting by herself
764
00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:57,369
most likely seemed
a bit lonely.
765
00:33:58,454 --> 00:34:02,041
So before you retreat
behind that wall
we all put up,
766
00:34:02,124 --> 00:34:06,462
just know that
Officer Panero
was here for you.
767
00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:09,339
Maybe I overreacted.
768
00:34:09,423 --> 00:34:11,717
And he's giving
the keynote tonight.
769
00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:16,138
(MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY)
770
00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:18,390
Pleasure to be here.
SAUL: He's blotto.
771
00:34:19,016 --> 00:34:20,851
Sort of like someone's mother
last Columbus Day.
772
00:34:20,934 --> 00:34:23,270
Will you let it go?
it was a half box of wine.
773
00:34:25,064 --> 00:34:26,440
She's very patriotic.
774
00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:29,610
Well, there's no way
Panero can go on.
775
00:34:29,693 --> 00:34:31,528
We need a leader right now
that can step up,
776
00:34:31,612 --> 00:34:33,781
take the reins
and inspire us.
777
00:34:33,864 --> 00:34:34,907
I understand.
778
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:37,201
I tried contacting
Officer Ferguson from TSA,
779
00:34:37,284 --> 00:34:38,577
but he must have
his phone off.
780
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:39,787
I mean,
my hands are tied.
781
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:52,841
Paul?
782
00:34:55,344 --> 00:34:57,805
Can you step up
to the plate
and save us?
783
00:35:00,349 --> 00:35:02,601
I'm gonna need
my dress whites.
784
00:35:05,646 --> 00:35:07,189
(PHONE BUZZING)
785
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:10,734
(SIGHS)
786
00:35:12,528 --> 00:35:13,695
Oh, come on.
787
00:35:14,321 --> 00:35:15,823
(PHONE CHIRPS)
788
00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:20,869
(KNOCKING)
789
00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:25,666
Your uniform,
as requested,
Officer Blart.
790
00:35:25,749 --> 00:35:27,042
Thank you very much.
Uh...
791
00:35:27,709 --> 00:35:29,128
Here you go.
Um...
792
00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:33,966
lam the general manager
of this resort,
so I don't take tips.
793
00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:36,218
And I don't normally deliver
dry cleaning either,
794
00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:38,137
but I just...
I wanted to clarify
795
00:35:38,220 --> 00:35:40,806
that I was not
making advances
towards you earlier,
796
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:42,975
nor would I, ever.
797
00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:48,063
Look, I understand you have
no control over this.
798
00:35:48,564 --> 00:35:51,483
Integrity is
a bewitching gumbo,
799
00:35:51,567 --> 00:35:54,778
but I'm preparing now,
internally,
to give the keynote.
800
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:57,489
So if you don't mind,
okay?
Uh...
801
00:35:57,573 --> 00:35:59,658
Look, this is crazy.
802
00:36:00,409 --> 00:36:02,411
I... I'm actually
dating someone.
803
00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:06,165
Oh, please, ma'am,
I practically invented
the fake boyfriend thing.
804
00:36:06,248 --> 00:36:07,416
What?
805
00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:11,044
Listen, you have no bearing
on my life whatsoever.
806
00:36:12,296 --> 00:36:15,340
Your lip is sweating.
It's sweating.
807
00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:34,776
(BEEP)
808
00:36:46,455 --> 00:36:50,167
There is an audience
out there of
security professionals
809
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:54,338
that paid good money
to hear you speak.
810
00:36:54,421 --> 00:36:55,881
They want to hear you.
811
00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:59,968
That's not true.
They didn't pay anything,
but they do deserve your best.
812
00:37:00,052 --> 00:37:01,720
They deserve it.
They deserve it.
813
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:03,388
Yeah, come on, man.
814
00:37:03,472 --> 00:37:05,641
Just loosen up,
baby, loosen up.
815
00:37:06,475 --> 00:37:09,102
Coming at you!
I'm gonna be coming.
816
00:37:09,186 --> 00:37:11,021
Bring it to them,
bring it to them.
817
00:37:11,104 --> 00:37:14,233
(WINCES) I'm getting tight.
I'm getting tight.
818
00:37:14,316 --> 00:37:15,901
I can't breathe, man.
819
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:17,110
Oh...
820
00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:20,239
(EXHALING LOUDLY)
821
00:37:22,950 --> 00:37:24,368
(WHEEZING)
822
00:37:24,451 --> 00:37:25,786
(COUGHING)
823
00:37:26,328 --> 00:37:27,621
That's orange chicken.
824
00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:29,831
Oh, what am I gonna say?
What am I gonna say?
825
00:37:29,915 --> 00:37:32,918
I got to get air.
I got to get air,
I got to get air.
826
00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:34,586
I got to get some air.
827
00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:36,296
I got to get air,
I got to get air.
828
00:37:36,505 --> 00:37:38,298
(PLAYING SOFT LOUNGE MUSIC)
829
00:37:40,509 --> 00:37:42,844
Whew. Whew.
830
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,473
Whew. (SIGHS)
831
00:37:47,516 --> 00:37:48,934
This is nice.
832
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:51,979
And pulse back in range.
833
00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:54,022
Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)
834
00:37:54,982 --> 00:37:56,024
(SIGHS)
835
00:37:57,025 --> 00:37:58,151
Whew.
836
00:37:59,695 --> 00:38:01,113
Thank you.
837
00:38:03,824 --> 00:38:05,450
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
838
00:38:05,534 --> 00:38:06,994
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
839
00:38:09,830 --> 00:38:11,248
Get out of here.
840
00:38:12,249 --> 00:38:13,375
(CLEARS THROAT) Shh.
841
00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:14,710
(SQUAWKING CONTINUES)
842
00:38:15,043 --> 00:38:16,211
All right.
843
00:38:16,670 --> 00:38:18,046
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SQUAWKS)
844
00:38:19,131 --> 00:38:21,300
Hey!Nope,nope,
move along.
845
00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:23,635
Get away. Move along.
846
00:38:24,219 --> 00:38:25,262
(SCREECHES)
847
00:38:25,345 --> 00:38:26,346
(HISSING)
848
00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:32,936
Get away from me.
Hefeweizen!
849
00:38:33,562 --> 00:38:34,646
(HISSING)
850
00:38:34,730 --> 00:38:35,856
(SCREECHING)
851
00:38:42,696 --> 00:38:44,031
Get out of here!
852
00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:49,369
Get out of here.
853
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,163
(GRUNTING)
854
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,040
(MIMICS HONKING)
855
00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,879
Get out!
856
00:39:01,173 --> 00:39:02,215
(GRUNTING)
857
00:39:03,342 --> 00:39:04,885
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
858
00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:06,970
(SCREAMING)
859
00:39:09,598 --> 00:39:10,766
My God!
860
00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:18,607
Is there someone you can call?
861
00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,323
Can you help me?
Can you call backup?
862
00:39:33,914 --> 00:39:35,791
I hurt my neck,
I hurt my neck.
863
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:37,793
Okay.
864
00:39:38,460 --> 00:39:39,461
(SQUAWKING)
865
00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,384
Hey, thanks for
all your help.
866
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:49,554
(PANTING)
867
00:39:51,139 --> 00:39:52,849
Oh, there you are.
868
00:39:52,933 --> 00:39:54,059
We're about to announce you.
869
00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:55,185
Okay.
870
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:56,937
Come on, Maya.
871
00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:58,688
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
872
00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:03,193
Oh, thanks.
873
00:40:03,276 --> 00:40:05,112
Cool party.
Whose suite is this?
874
00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:07,072
The housekeepers are
all good friends of mine.
875
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:08,990
They let me know
when the high rollers
check out early, so...
876
00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:10,075
(PHONE CHIRPS)
877
00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:14,454
You okay?
Uh,yeah.
Everything's great.
878
00:40:14,538 --> 00:40:16,915
Oh, uh, I'll be right back.
I got something for you.
879
00:40:16,998 --> 00:40:18,625
I think you're
gonna like it.
880
00:40:32,305 --> 00:40:33,432
WOMAN: Yeah!
881
00:40:33,515 --> 00:40:34,766
SAUL: Very kind, very kind.
882
00:40:34,850 --> 00:40:38,562
Ladies and gentlemen,
I know you're here
to see Nick Panero
883
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:40,605
deliver the keynote speech.
884
00:40:40,689 --> 00:40:44,109
However,
due to circumstances
beyond our control,
885
00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:45,193
(CLEARS THROAT';
886
00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:47,529
we've had to bring in
a different speaker tonight.
887
00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:48,989
(CROWD GROANING)
888
00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:51,074
Yeah, I know,
I'm disappointed, too.
889
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:56,204
So, instead, how about
a nice, warm Expo welcome
890
00:40:56,288 --> 00:40:58,707
for Officer Paul Blart.
891
00:40:58,790 --> 00:40:59,875
(LIGHT APPLAUSE)
892
00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:07,549
(CLEARS THROAT';
893
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:10,427
Thank you,
Officer Gundermutt.
894
00:41:14,014 --> 00:41:15,182
Is it warm in here,
895
00:41:15,265 --> 00:41:18,518
or am I ordering
my next uniform from
Rochester Big and Humid?
896
00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:19,936
(CHUCKLES)
897
00:41:20,937 --> 00:41:21,938
(MAN COUGHS)
898
00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:26,485
(CLEARS THROAT';
899
00:41:26,568 --> 00:41:29,946
I am, uh,
honored to be here,
900
00:41:30,030 --> 00:41:32,157
uh, in the presence of
the greats from the past.
901
00:41:33,575 --> 00:41:35,619
Just looking at
these faces reminds me
902
00:41:35,702 --> 00:41:38,413
of the questions
so many people ask.
903
00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:40,665
Why do we do it?
904
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:44,503
Why walk a beat
knowing that on
a typical day
905
00:41:44,586 --> 00:41:47,672
you'll get zero pats
on the back?
906
00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:52,010
But you know
what you will get?
907
00:41:52,093 --> 00:41:53,929
A whole lot of ridicule.
908
00:41:55,764 --> 00:41:57,349
What are you doing here?
909
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,267
I thought
Mini Kiss was playing.
910
00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:01,561
What are you doing here?
911
00:42:01,645 --> 00:42:04,147
I get it.
We're easy targets.
912
00:42:04,231 --> 00:42:08,693
People call us
heavy, skinny, lumpy.
913
00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:10,695
They point out
our bad skin.
914
00:42:14,616 --> 00:42:16,493
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
915
00:42:16,576 --> 00:42:17,911
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
916
00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:25,418
What is it that
we all have in common?
917
00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:27,629
In the words
of Joseph Conrad,
918
00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:31,174
who wrote some
really long books
about sailing and stuff,
919
00:42:31,258 --> 00:42:32,592
(CLEARS THROAT';
920
00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:35,178
"We live as we dream.
921
00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,516
"Alone."
922
00:42:48,984 --> 00:42:51,528
(OVER VOICE MAIL)
Turns out I am giving
the keynote after all,
923
00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:53,238
so it'd mean a lot
if you could be there,
peanut
924
00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:54,322
(SIGHS)
925
00:42:54,698 --> 00:42:55,699
(KEYPAD BEEPS)
926
00:42:56,658 --> 00:42:57,867
(SIGHS)
927
00:43:05,709 --> 00:43:07,085
ROBINSON: You were
supposed to tell me
928
00:43:07,168 --> 00:43:08,503
if the schedule got moved.
MAN: Let's calm down.
929
00:43:08,587 --> 00:43:10,171
And no one
told me anything.
930
00:43:11,506 --> 00:43:14,050
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
Oh, I'm sorry. Bye.
931
00:43:16,845 --> 00:43:18,221
Get her.
932
00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:24,102
And yet, when people ask me,
"Why do you do it?"
933
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,604
lhavetolaugh.
934
00:43:25,687 --> 00:43:26,813
(WEAK CHUCKLE)
935
00:43:29,024 --> 00:43:30,900
'Cause they think
I have a choice.
936
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:32,527
I don't.
937
00:43:32,611 --> 00:43:34,571
I, like you,
didn't choose security.
938
00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:37,782
Security chose me!
939
00:43:37,866 --> 00:43:39,159
(LIGHT APPLAUSE)
940
00:43:40,410 --> 00:43:42,037
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
941
00:43:48,877 --> 00:43:49,878
(WHIMPERS)
942
00:43:50,170 --> 00:43:54,424
Every morning,
I pull my pants on
one leg at a time,
943
00:43:54,507 --> 00:43:56,176
and I slip on
my soft-soled shoes,
944
00:43:56,259 --> 00:43:58,094
and I hear
the same calling you do.
945
00:44:02,807 --> 00:44:05,060
"Help someone today."
(PHONE BUZZING)
946
00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:06,394
(APPLAUSE)
947
00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:08,188
Come on, Dad.
948
00:44:09,022 --> 00:44:10,023
(BUZZING CONTINUES)
949
00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:14,444
"Help someone today."
950
00:44:14,527 --> 00:44:16,112
Sounds easy, doesn't it?
951
00:44:16,946 --> 00:44:20,408
But if being
a security officer was easy,
anybody could do it.
952
00:44:20,867 --> 00:44:22,077
Anyone can do it.
953
00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:24,245
Takes a certain breed.
954
00:44:25,622 --> 00:44:29,209
Someone who has Spidey-senses
when things are going wrong.
955
00:44:29,292 --> 00:44:30,293
(PHONE BUZZING)
956
00:44:30,919 --> 00:44:31,961
(WHIMPERS)
957
00:44:32,087 --> 00:44:35,131
Oh, sure, you can meet
all kinds of people
in this line of work.
958
00:44:35,215 --> 00:44:36,966
Your shoplifters,
your pickpockets,
959
00:44:37,384 --> 00:44:39,177
your freeloaders
960
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:42,597
stealing a nap in
a Brookstone massage chair.
961
00:44:42,931 --> 00:44:44,849
They're the worst.
Don't get me started.
962
00:44:44,933 --> 00:44:48,520
And there's the old lady
who can't find her car
in Parking Level F
963
00:44:48,603 --> 00:44:51,481
'cause she doesn't
have a car.
964
00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:55,443
And there is no
Parking Level F.
965
00:44:57,946 --> 00:44:59,739
It only goes up to D.
966
00:44:59,823 --> 00:45:01,032
(PHONE BUZZING)
967
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:05,537
And all of a sudden
you're asking yourself,
968
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:08,289
"Why do I do it?"
969
00:45:15,422 --> 00:45:20,343
Till the little boy,
tears in his eyes,
is tugging on your sleeve.
970
00:45:22,262 --> 00:45:24,472
He says to you,
971
00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:27,517
"Mister, mister, mister.
972
00:45:29,436 --> 00:45:31,146
"Can't find my mommy."
973
00:45:31,646 --> 00:45:32,856
(GASPS)
974
00:45:39,154 --> 00:45:40,905
(WHISPERS)
That's why you do it.
975
00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:42,157
Yeah.
Yeah.
976
00:45:42,824 --> 00:45:44,576
(SNIFFLING)
PAUL: I Will close With this.
977
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:48,663
If you believe
the purpose of life
is to only serve yourself,
978
00:45:48,747 --> 00:45:50,915
then you have no purpose.
979
00:45:50,999 --> 00:45:53,418
Help someone today!
980
00:45:59,841 --> 00:46:01,509
Jackpofl
You nailed it!
You nailed it!
981
00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:03,261
Way to go, Blart!
982
00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:05,180
You go, Paul Blart!
983
00:46:16,858 --> 00:46:18,651
Maya, look,
I know you're mad at me.
984
00:46:18,735 --> 00:46:20,779
Oh, Dad!
But... But hear me out.
985
00:46:20,862 --> 00:46:21,988
Look, I feel just terrible.
986
00:46:22,071 --> 00:46:23,114
I need your help!
987
00:46:23,198 --> 00:46:25,325
Yeah, and I need your help.
This is what
I'm trying to say.
988
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:28,203
Dad!
I saw something in
the Presidential Suite
989
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:29,829
I guess I wasn't
supposed to see.
990
00:46:29,913 --> 00:46:31,790
And now they're after me.
Who'?
991
00:46:31,873 --> 00:46:32,874
I don't know.
992
00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:36,419
Angel, please don't worry.
I know exactly what
you're dealing with.
993
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:38,379
It was just somebody
trying to intimidate you.
994
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,089
Trust me,
they're all bark
and no bite.
995
00:46:40,173 --> 00:46:41,382
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
(SCREAMS)
996
00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:42,509
They're coming for me!
997
00:46:42,801 --> 00:46:44,928
Oof. Misread it.
Okay, sweetheart.
998
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:46,638
Stay on the phone with me.
I'm on my way!
999
00:46:47,764 --> 00:46:48,807
(SCREAMING)
1000
00:46:49,682 --> 00:46:51,142
Maya, use your
pepper spray!
1001
00:46:52,769 --> 00:46:54,979
Maya, Maya,
what's happening?
(CLATTERING)
1002
00:46:55,271 --> 00:46:56,523
Maya?
1003
00:46:57,649 --> 00:46:59,692
Maya!
(WHISPERS) Thank you.
1004
00:46:59,901 --> 00:47:00,902
Who is this?
1005
00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:01,986
This is Officer Paul Blart
1006
00:47:02,070 --> 00:47:04,155
from the West Orange
Pavilion Mall.
Who am I speaking with?
1007
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:05,406
Oh, don't you
worry about that.
1008
00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:07,617
Well, that's not fair.
I already told you my name.
1009
00:47:07,700 --> 00:47:08,701
Now, where's my daughter?
1010
00:47:09,244 --> 00:47:10,537
Your daughter.
1011
00:47:10,620 --> 00:47:12,288
Wow, you don't know
when to shut your mouth,
do you?
1012
00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:13,498
(GROANS)
1013
00:47:13,581 --> 00:47:15,542
Listen,
I don't think you have a clue
to who you're messing with.
1014
00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:18,670
Actually,
I don't need a clue.
You just told me.
1015
00:47:18,753 --> 00:47:21,422
And if you decide to
go to the real cops,
1016
00:47:21,506 --> 00:47:22,841
attempt to track
this cell phone
1017
00:47:22,924 --> 00:47:24,217
or make any attempt
to come after me,
1018
00:47:24,300 --> 00:47:26,135
oh, boy, I am so crazy,
1019
00:47:26,219 --> 00:47:28,847
I'll put you and your daughter
in a world of pain.
1020
00:47:29,222 --> 00:47:32,517
Oh, yeah?
Well, here's a few things
you don't know about me.
1021
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,311
First off,
pain is my copilot,
so no problem there.
1022
00:47:35,395 --> 00:47:36,604
And second off...
1023
00:47:36,688 --> 00:47:37,730
(GROANS)
1024
00:47:38,523 --> 00:47:39,774
(TILE SCREECHING)
1025
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:43,111
Hello. Hello?
1026
00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:44,946
(SNORING)
1027
00:47:46,865 --> 00:47:49,117
Hello? Hello?
(SNORING CONTINUES)
1028
00:47:50,952 --> 00:47:53,288
(KEYPAD BEEPS)
Strange. Okay, let's go.
1029
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:54,873
Get rid of this.
1030
00:47:55,415 --> 00:47:57,333
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey, yo,
have you guys seen Maya?
1031
00:47:57,417 --> 00:47:58,751
Who's Maya?
1032
00:47:58,835 --> 00:48:00,336
I introduced you to her.
1033
00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:02,380
She was the girl
I was talking to
right over there.
1034
00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:05,258
Dude, he's hammered.
She was on the phone
and went that way.
1035
00:48:05,341 --> 00:48:06,593
That way?
Yeah.
1036
00:48:07,427 --> 00:48:08,511
Enjoy.
1037
00:48:08,595 --> 00:48:09,971
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
1038
00:48:13,308 --> 00:48:14,434
Maya?
1039
00:48:16,853 --> 00:48:18,271
Maya?
1040
00:48:19,439 --> 00:48:20,899
(DOOR CLOSES)
1041
00:48:20,982 --> 00:48:22,525
Maya?
1042
00:48:23,151 --> 00:48:24,819
Looking for someone?
1043
00:48:30,533 --> 00:48:32,243
Okay,
clear this place out.
1044
00:48:32,327 --> 00:48:34,370
This location's
been compromised.
1045
00:48:34,454 --> 00:48:36,497
Bring those two
to the villa.
1046
00:48:38,499 --> 00:48:39,751
(SNORING)
1047
00:48:41,294 --> 00:48:42,295
(COUGHS)
1048
00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:43,796
(WEAKLY) Sugar.
1049
00:48:44,631 --> 00:48:45,632
Sugar.
1050
00:48:49,052 --> 00:48:51,596
Daddy, look at
the beautiful flowers.
Can I draw on them?
1051
00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:54,265
Not now, honey.
Daddy's on the phone.
Go with Mommy.
1052
00:48:55,600 --> 00:49:00,772
(SLOWLY) Must get sugar.
1053
00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:02,774
Come on, sugar.
1054
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:04,567
(WHEEZING)
1055
00:49:38,059 --> 00:49:39,185
(GASPS)
1056
00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:06,504
MAYA: Please, sir, please.
Just let us out.
1057
00:50:06,587 --> 00:50:08,589
We're not gonna
cause any trouble.
We're not gonna say anything.
1058
00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:10,049
Please, sir. Please.
Sir, please let us out!
1059
00:50:10,133 --> 00:50:11,384
(GROANS)
1060
00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:14,554
What the heck
is going on?
1061
00:50:14,637 --> 00:50:16,180
I think they're stealing
art from the hotel.
1062
00:50:16,264 --> 00:50:18,599
From the what?
From the hotel.
1063
00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:21,853
What is that?
Oh, I got this for you.
1064
00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:26,566
Here. It's either this
or sunblock.
1065
00:50:38,494 --> 00:50:39,537
Maya.
1066
00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:40,997
(DOOR OPENS)
1067
00:50:42,498 --> 00:50:44,042
(PAUL BELLOWING)
(GROANING)
1068
00:50:45,626 --> 00:50:47,420
Have sweet mercy!
1069
00:50:47,503 --> 00:50:49,213
(THUD)
Oh!Oh,my!
1070
00:50:50,631 --> 00:50:51,883
(PANTING)
1071
00:50:52,133 --> 00:50:53,885
Oh, lam so sorry, ma'am.
1072
00:50:53,968 --> 00:50:56,429
Nope, my fault.
I startled you.
1073
00:50:57,013 --> 00:50:58,598
I... I just feel terrible.
1074
00:50:58,681 --> 00:51:00,391
Oh, no. I deserved it.
1075
00:51:00,475 --> 00:51:03,561
Can I help you up
or get you some
medical attention?
1076
00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:04,729
Not necessary.
1077
00:51:04,812 --> 00:51:08,483
This just shifts the focus
away from my arthritis.
1078
00:51:08,816 --> 00:51:10,026
(SIGHS)
1079
00:51:14,155 --> 00:51:15,823
You're sure?
I'm fine.
1080
00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:19,827
Are you gonna want
turndown service?
1081
00:51:19,911 --> 00:51:21,079
No, thank you!
1082
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:24,582
Officer,
how can I help you?
1083
00:51:24,665 --> 00:51:26,542
I need to know who's staying
in your Presidential Suite.
1084
00:51:26,626 --> 00:51:28,753
Okay, first of all,
you need to slow
things down a bit.
1085
00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:31,214
And, secondly,
that's actually against
resort policy. So...
1086
00:51:31,297 --> 00:51:32,298
DMNAI I got this, Heath.
1087
00:51:32,381 --> 00:51:34,383
Sir, I can help you
down here.
1088
00:51:36,761 --> 00:51:39,013
VVeH,lguess
I've been overruled.
1089
00:51:42,975 --> 00:51:43,976
Now, what can I
do for you?
1090
00:51:44,060 --> 00:51:45,645
I need information
on who's staying
1091
00:51:45,728 --> 00:51:47,480
in your Presidential Suite.
It's urgent.
1092
00:51:47,563 --> 00:51:48,815
What's going on?
1093
00:51:48,898 --> 00:51:50,066
I can't divulge that
at this moment.
1094
00:51:50,149 --> 00:51:52,735
It's top secret stuff, okay?
Just... (CLEARS THROAT)
1095
00:51:52,819 --> 00:51:54,403
Well, I'm sorry,
Mr. Blart,
1096
00:51:54,487 --> 00:51:56,823
but, unfortunately,
I won't be able to
give you that information,
1097
00:51:56,906 --> 00:51:58,366
because it is
against protocol.
1098
00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:02,245
See? I told you I feel
no admiration for you,
1099
00:52:02,328 --> 00:52:05,540
so sorry, there are
no special favors.
1100
00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:09,127
You're breathing
in double time.
1101
00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:10,461
Just tell me
who's staying there.
1102
00:52:12,380 --> 00:52:14,215
I can't say no to you.
1103
00:52:16,384 --> 00:52:19,262
He's a high roller
who books his rooms
through his company.
1104
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:21,013
Norbertine Shipping
out of Hamburg, Germany.
1105
00:52:21,097 --> 00:52:22,181
Shipping. Thank you.
1106
00:52:22,265 --> 00:52:23,599
You're so...
1107
00:52:27,228 --> 00:52:28,938
Oh, come on. Oh, no.
1108
00:53:17,987 --> 00:53:20,114
I think I can short this
and get us out of here.
1109
00:53:20,781 --> 00:53:23,826
Or maybe we should
just do what they say.
1110
00:53:23,910 --> 00:53:25,536
We've seen what
they look like, Lane.
1111
00:53:25,620 --> 00:53:27,079
They're not gonna
let us go.
1112
00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:41,636
Can I help you?
Oh, hey.
1113
00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:44,805
Um... Muhr...
1114
00:53:45,181 --> 00:53:46,515
Uh, Muhrtelle.
1115
00:53:46,599 --> 00:53:49,435
Uh, it's pronounced
like "turtle" or "girdle."
1116
00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:52,188
No, Muhrtelle. (STAMMERS)
I got it right away.
I'm pretty good.
1117
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,689
Why are you back here?
1118
00:53:53,773 --> 00:53:55,399
No, I'm from shipping, so...
1119
00:53:56,651 --> 00:53:58,110
I'm from shipping.
Yeah, I know.
1120
00:53:58,194 --> 00:54:01,405
I'm from corporate, so...
1121
00:54:01,489 --> 00:54:02,740
If you could
give me a moment,
1122
00:54:02,823 --> 00:54:04,158
I'd like to place
a telephone call.
1123
00:54:04,242 --> 00:54:06,369
No,no,no,no.
Uh, no need, really.
1124
00:54:06,452 --> 00:54:08,746
Okay, actually, I'm...
1125
00:54:08,829 --> 00:54:11,749
I'm from Internal
Affairs Shipping. Yeah.
1126
00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:15,586
Corporate sent me here
to check up on you
and your coworkers.
1127
00:54:15,670 --> 00:54:18,422
Random selection.
No need to get too nervous.
1128
00:54:18,506 --> 00:54:20,007
Is it okay
I eat my lunch?
1129
00:54:20,091 --> 00:54:21,801
Sure, yeah.
You might as well.
1130
00:54:21,884 --> 00:54:23,636
Um, I'm just gonna fire
some questions at you,
though,
1131
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,264
vis-a-vis this
particular shipment here.
1132
00:54:26,347 --> 00:54:27,556
Now, where exactly did...
1133
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,601
Wow, that is
the brownest banana
I've ever seen.
1134
00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:31,644
That's borderline black.
1135
00:54:31,727 --> 00:54:32,937
I wouldn't eat that
if I were you. That's...
1136
00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:35,314
(GRUNTS) You're eating it.
He's eating it.
1137
00:54:35,398 --> 00:54:37,316
I'm gonna throw up
a little bit, I think.
1138
00:54:38,693 --> 00:54:40,236
I think that's poison.
1139
00:54:40,486 --> 00:54:41,570
(CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY)
1140
00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:43,197
Oh, that's sickening.
1141
00:54:44,031 --> 00:54:46,242
(LOUD CHEWING)
(RETCHES)Ohm
1142
00:54:47,326 --> 00:54:49,704
I, uh...
Where did this ship from?
1143
00:54:50,329 --> 00:54:52,290
I don't know.
Some man brought
a bunch of these down
1144
00:54:52,415 --> 00:54:54,208
from the
Presidential Suite.
Mmm-hmm.
1145
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:56,919
You mind, uh,
opening it for me?
1146
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:00,965
Internal Affairs,
so I just...
1147
00:55:06,721 --> 00:55:08,347
Do you have
anyidenflficafion?
1148
00:55:08,764 --> 00:55:09,974
Don't you worry
about that, Turtle.
1149
00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:11,267
I'll ask the questions here.
1150
00:55:11,350 --> 00:55:12,351
MAN: Wait.
1151
00:55:12,518 --> 00:55:14,145
I want to
ask a question.
1152
00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:15,730
(SEGWAY SQUEAKING)
1153
00:55:16,981 --> 00:55:18,524
What do you think
you're doing with
that crate?
1154
00:55:18,607 --> 00:55:20,693
I was just simply
just checking that...
1155
00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:26,407
Am (GROANS)
1156
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:29,368
Someone's messing
with the shipment!
1157
00:55:29,452 --> 00:55:30,661
VINCENT: Radio.
1158
00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:33,873
Unacceptable. Kill him.
1159
00:55:39,128 --> 00:55:40,588
A mall.
1160
00:55:40,671 --> 00:55:42,840
Home-court advantage.
1161
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:52,558
Bingo.
1162
00:55:54,435 --> 00:55:56,145
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
1163
00:56:04,070 --> 00:56:05,780
(SILENCED GUNSHOTS)
1164
00:56:07,114 --> 00:56:08,282
Huh? Huh?
1165
00:56:14,288 --> 00:56:15,289
(GRUNTS)
1166
00:56:31,013 --> 00:56:32,264
(SILENCED GUNSHOTS)
1167
00:56:33,808 --> 00:56:34,850
Oh!
1168
00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:37,645
Oh, pain!
1169
00:56:39,647 --> 00:56:40,648
(GRUNTS)
1170
00:56:45,611 --> 00:56:46,821
(PAUL SCREAMING)
1171
00:56:48,781 --> 00:56:49,824
Ow!
1172
00:56:52,868 --> 00:56:55,121
Oh, this is it.
I'm going down.
1173
00:56:57,832 --> 00:56:59,083
(BURBLING)
1174
00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:01,502
(COUGHING)
1175
00:57:02,545 --> 00:57:03,754
Took care of some cop.
1176
00:57:03,838 --> 00:57:04,797
F or good'?
1177
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:06,090
Don't worry about it.
He's gone.
1178
00:57:06,507 --> 00:57:09,093
He sleeps with the fishes.
Literally.
1179
00:57:09,468 --> 00:57:10,511
ExceHenL
1180
00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:12,346
(GROANS)
1181
00:57:12,888 --> 00:57:14,682
(BURBLING GROWING LOUDER)
1182
00:57:16,642 --> 00:57:18,394
Not today, death!
1183
00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:19,854
Not today!
1184
00:57:20,688 --> 00:57:22,356
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
1185
00:57:26,277 --> 00:57:27,486
Sir.
1186
00:57:28,946 --> 00:57:31,323
We ask that guests dry off
before entering the casino.
1187
00:57:31,407 --> 00:57:33,534
Oh, absolutely.
I... I should have
thought of that.
1188
00:57:33,617 --> 00:57:35,286
Why don't you
come with me, sir.
I'll get you a dry towel.
1189
00:57:35,369 --> 00:57:36,704
Oh, that would be great.
1190
00:57:38,247 --> 00:57:42,626
On second thought,
I think I'd rather air-dry.
1191
00:57:43,335 --> 00:57:45,921
Because you're not
who you say you are...
1192
00:57:47,631 --> 00:57:49,049
Ramos.
1193
00:57:49,633 --> 00:57:50,718
Excuse me?
1194
00:57:51,093 --> 00:57:53,387
The buttons on your
uniform are rivet brass,
1195
00:57:53,471 --> 00:57:55,473
made by Cintas
uniform supply,
1196
00:57:55,556 --> 00:57:58,350
which stopped using
that particular type
of metal,
1197
00:57:58,434 --> 00:58:01,479
due to humanitarian
reasons, 18 years ago.
1198
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,523
Since there's no way
you're a day over 30,
1199
00:58:04,607 --> 00:58:06,817
and the Security Association
restricts the hiring
1200
00:58:06,901 --> 00:58:08,360
ofanybody
under the age of 18,
1201
00:58:08,444 --> 00:58:12,239
there is no way you are
a security guard here.
1202
00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:14,909
You're right.
1203
00:58:15,951 --> 00:58:17,203
Headbutt!
1204
00:58:18,537 --> 00:58:20,623
That's a very good defense.
One more!
1205
00:58:20,998 --> 00:58:23,250
I'm definitely done.
Not this time!
1206
00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:25,419
That was the last one.
You have my word.
1207
00:58:25,503 --> 00:58:26,670
All right.
1208
00:58:29,340 --> 00:58:30,758
Hey, what's going on?
(SCREAMING)
1209
00:58:33,469 --> 00:58:35,513
Hey. Sorry. Guy's drunk.
1210
00:58:35,596 --> 00:58:36,805
Well, Why'd you
let him run off?
1211
00:58:36,889 --> 00:58:38,057
I'll make sure I get him
back to his room.
1212
00:58:38,140 --> 00:58:39,266
You do that.
1213
00:58:41,143 --> 00:58:42,394
(GASPING BREATHS)
1214
00:58:44,230 --> 00:58:47,233
(PANTING)
Security's been breached.
1215
00:58:48,442 --> 00:58:49,985
Of course.
1216
00:58:50,069 --> 00:58:52,029
Eduardo's in on it.
1217
00:58:52,112 --> 00:58:54,156
Fool me once,
shame on me.
1218
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,076
Fool me twice,
shame on me.
1219
00:58:57,868 --> 00:59:00,162
No, that's me twice.
That doesn't work.
1220
00:59:00,829 --> 00:59:01,872
RAMOS: Hey!
1221
00:59:12,633 --> 00:59:14,176
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1222
00:59:27,565 --> 00:59:28,816
(PANTING)
1223
00:59:29,942 --> 00:59:31,443
(QUIETLY)
Oh, gosh. Come on.
1224
00:59:45,916 --> 00:59:47,167
RAMOS: Hey!
(GASPS)
1225
00:59:51,714 --> 00:59:53,048
(GRUNTING)
1226
00:59:57,219 --> 00:59:58,262
(TREMBLING BREATH)
1227
01:00:04,977 --> 01:00:06,312
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
1228
01:00:18,699 --> 01:00:20,326
That... That's Paul Blart.
1229
01:00:21,785 --> 01:00:22,786
Yam!
1230
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,913
Pdloveto
see you up there.
1231
01:00:24,997 --> 01:00:26,332
I would if I had
a good hamstring.
1232
01:00:26,457 --> 01:00:27,833
I don't got
a good hamstring.
It's all right.
1233
01:00:29,376 --> 01:00:30,377
(GRUNTS)
1234
01:00:30,461 --> 01:00:31,712
(GROANS)
1235
01:00:37,176 --> 01:00:39,053
WOMAN: Who is this guy?
What's going on?
1236
01:00:42,848 --> 01:00:43,891
Ooh!
1237
01:00:45,684 --> 01:00:46,685
(CROWD WHOOPING)
1238
01:00:47,144 --> 01:00:48,479
Aah!
(CROWD GASPING)
1239
01:00:50,064 --> 01:00:51,065
(GRUNTS)
1240
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:56,111
(GRUNTS)
1241
01:00:56,945 --> 01:00:58,822
Oh, sorry.
Big man on a rope!
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)
1242
01:00:59,990 --> 01:01:01,033
Oh, sorry.
1243
01:01:01,408 --> 01:01:03,994
This whole thing's
like a pool inside,
like an indoor pool.
1244
01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:05,120
It's unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
1245
01:01:05,204 --> 01:01:08,165
Take a dip! Yeah!
Whoa!
1246
01:01:08,248 --> 01:01:09,833
(PAUL LAUGHING)
1247
01:01:09,917 --> 01:01:12,711
Yeah! Sorry.
Tuck and roll.
1248
01:01:14,505 --> 01:01:15,589
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
1249
01:01:15,923 --> 01:01:17,132
This ain't real.
1250
01:01:18,133 --> 01:01:19,426
(WILD CHEERING)
1251
01:01:20,094 --> 01:01:21,428
Thank you, Paul!
(BURBLING)
1252
01:01:21,762 --> 01:01:22,805
(PEOPLE WHISTLING)
1253
01:01:26,100 --> 01:01:27,101
What a guy!
1254
01:01:31,689 --> 01:01:32,773
Aah!
1255
01:01:34,233 --> 01:01:35,442
(GRUNTS)
1256
01:01:54,128 --> 01:01:55,212
(PANTING)
1257
01:02:02,636 --> 01:02:05,139
Come on, man.
I know you're in here.
1258
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:14,773
(SHOES SQUEAKING)
1259
01:02:16,900 --> 01:02:18,152
(PANTING)
1260
01:02:24,366 --> 01:02:25,659
(ELECTRICAL CRACKLE)
1261
01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:28,996
(MUMBLING)
1262
01:02:29,163 --> 01:02:30,831
(ELECTRICAL HUMMING)
Okay.
1263
01:02:35,294 --> 01:02:36,378
(CONTINUES PANTING)
1264
01:02:48,474 --> 01:02:51,268
it looks like we've come
to a fork in the road.
1265
01:02:51,351 --> 01:02:52,352
What?
(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)
1266
01:02:52,853 --> 01:02:53,854
(EXCLAIMS)
1267
01:02:57,357 --> 01:02:59,610
Oh. A little too much club.
1268
01:03:00,861 --> 01:03:02,154
(PANTING)
1269
01:03:03,405 --> 01:03:05,449
Oh. Okay.
1270
01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:09,953
(QUIET BEEPING)
1271
01:03:12,331 --> 01:03:13,665
(WHISPERS)
There you go.
1272
01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:16,543
Yeah.
1273
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:23,383
(LOUD RUMBLING)
(YELLING)
1274
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:31,517
(OVER RADIO)
Ramos, it's Henk.
Where are you?
1275
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:32,643
RAMOS: Le Réve theater.
1276
01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:34,228
Some cop may be onto us.
1277
01:03:34,478 --> 01:03:37,147
Wait. Big guy?
Mustache? Snug pants?
1278
01:03:37,231 --> 01:03:38,315
Yeah, that's the one.
1279
01:03:38,398 --> 01:03:39,399
HENK". I thought he was dead.
1280
01:03:39,483 --> 01:03:40,567
This guy's
like a cockroach.
1281
01:03:40,651 --> 01:03:41,652
Where are you?
1282
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,028
HENK: We're about to
move the Botero.
1283
01:03:43,111 --> 01:03:44,154
Roger that.
1284
01:03:44,238 --> 01:03:46,824
(QUIETLY)
Henk, Ramos, Botero.
1285
01:03:46,907 --> 01:03:48,158
Who are these guys?
1286
01:03:49,785 --> 01:03:51,036
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1287
01:03:51,119 --> 01:03:54,498
Come on, Paul,
think for Maya. Think!
1288
01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:56,416
RAMOS".
All this for stupid art.
1289
01:03:57,334 --> 01:03:58,836
Who is Art?
1290
01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:00,921
Come on, think.
1291
01:04:02,089 --> 01:04:03,298
(GRUNTS)
1292
01:04:06,093 --> 01:04:10,138
Windershins!
It's about the art!
1293
01:04:10,222 --> 01:04:12,391
They're stealing art
from the hotel!
1294
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:16,311
(MIMICS HENK'S ACCENT)
Ramos, this is Henk.
1295
01:04:16,395 --> 01:04:17,646
Did you get
the new locations yet?
1296
01:04:17,938 --> 01:04:19,273
Henk, you didn't
tell me where you are.
1297
01:04:19,690 --> 01:04:21,483
We're in the casino.
Stop calling me.
1298
01:04:21,567 --> 01:04:23,235
Vincent wants you, out.
1299
01:04:23,318 --> 01:04:25,195
Let the games begin.
1300
01:04:31,952 --> 01:04:32,953
(SPUTTERS)
1301
01:04:42,671 --> 01:04:43,797
Found our friend.
1302
01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:51,138
(GROANS)
1303
01:04:51,221 --> 01:04:53,265
Didn't see it.
Didn't see it.
1304
01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,850
That's clean glass. Okay.
1305
01:04:59,146 --> 01:05:00,105
So?
1306
01:05:00,188 --> 01:05:01,815
I'm gonna need about
20 minutes, Vincent.
1307
01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:03,775
Move as fast as you can.
1308
01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:10,991
(SCREECHES)
(SCREAMING)
1309
01:05:11,783 --> 01:05:13,118
(HISSES)
Yah-yah-yah!
1310
01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:20,125
(BIRD HISSES)
1311
01:05:20,208 --> 01:05:21,209
(GUN CLICKING)
1312
01:05:21,293 --> 01:05:22,461
(SCREECHING)
on! on!
1313
01:05:22,794 --> 01:05:24,254
No,no,no!
1314
01:05:24,338 --> 01:05:26,506
(BIRD SCREECHING)
(SOBBING AND YELLING)
1315
01:05:27,299 --> 01:05:29,468
(MIMICS HENK'S ACCENT)
Vincent. Vincent,
this is Henk.
1316
01:05:29,551 --> 01:05:30,552
Where are you?
1317
01:05:30,636 --> 01:05:32,179
Waiting for the van Gogh.
Where are you?
1318
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:33,764
I'm on my way.
1319
01:05:33,847 --> 01:05:35,182
I'm coming for you, Maya.
1320
01:05:35,974 --> 01:05:37,976
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1321
01:05:38,060 --> 01:05:39,519
(PANTING)
1322
01:05:42,022 --> 01:05:43,857
Could you press one, please?
1323
01:05:47,861 --> 01:05:49,863
Good crowd tonight?
Oh, yeah.
1324
01:05:52,074 --> 01:05:53,116
Did you guys play Beth?
1325
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:54,284
No.
1326
01:05:56,578 --> 01:05:58,038
Great hair.
1327
01:05:58,121 --> 01:05:59,665
Thanks.
It's not mine.
1328
01:05:59,748 --> 01:06:00,791
Oh.
1329
01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:02,292
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
1330
01:06:04,336 --> 01:06:05,671
Told you we should
play Beth.
1331
01:06:05,754 --> 01:06:07,214
Not now, Frank!
1332
01:06:11,677 --> 01:06:12,970
(RATTLING)
1333
01:06:13,053 --> 01:06:14,179
This hotel is solid.
1334
01:06:14,596 --> 01:06:17,224
This gift is adorable, but...
1335
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:22,312
The globe lights up
with copper wiring.
1336
01:06:22,396 --> 01:06:25,232
My father insists
that I keep an extra
phone battery on me.
1337
01:06:28,026 --> 01:06:29,236
Stand back.
1338
01:06:30,195 --> 01:06:31,446
(LOCK CLICKS)
(GASPS)
1339
01:06:31,989 --> 01:06:33,365
(WHISPERS)
That should do it.
1340
01:06:33,448 --> 01:06:35,867
Shh. Come on.
1341
01:06:42,290 --> 01:06:44,543
MAN: (OVER RADIO)
The helicopter is
fueled and ready.
1342
01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:47,546
Perfect.
What are you doing?
1343
01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:49,423
From the hotel
gift basket.
1344
01:06:49,923 --> 01:06:51,383
What is that
in your hand?
1345
01:06:51,466 --> 01:06:52,968
Oatmeal cookie.
1346
01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:55,178
I'm deathly allergic.
What are you trying
to do to me?
1347
01:06:55,262 --> 01:06:56,805
Sorry.
Get rid of it.
1348
01:06:58,598 --> 01:07:00,100
Double back.
Doubhng.
1349
01:07:03,603 --> 01:07:05,480
We can't get out
through there.
1350
01:07:06,273 --> 01:07:08,650
Pocketknife keychain.
Just in case.
1351
01:07:08,734 --> 01:07:09,776
In case what?
1352
01:07:09,860 --> 01:07:12,195
I get kidnapped by
bad guys and held hostage.
1353
01:07:12,279 --> 01:07:13,280
It's happened before.
1354
01:07:13,613 --> 01:07:14,614
What?
1355
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:24,124
Room 3402.
Charge it, please.
1356
01:07:29,421 --> 01:07:30,672
(PANTING)
1357
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:37,763
(CRACKLING)
1358
01:07:51,359 --> 01:07:52,819
Hey! Can you help us?
1359
01:07:53,445 --> 01:07:54,488
Absolutely.
1360
01:07:54,571 --> 01:07:55,655
(WHIMPERS)
1361
01:07:59,076 --> 01:08:00,077
(WHIRRING)
1362
01:08:04,706 --> 01:08:07,459
Five more minutes, Vincent,
and then we are done.
1363
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:09,294
Secure the painting
and let's get out of here.
1364
01:08:09,377 --> 01:08:11,463
We've got less
than three hours
to meet our buyer.
1365
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,006
Roger that.
1366
01:08:13,173 --> 01:08:17,094
All right, Vincent,
since you took something
precious from me,
1367
01:08:17,177 --> 01:08:19,888
I'm taking something
precious from you.
1368
01:08:41,993 --> 01:08:44,371
It's a bad day
to be bad people.
1369
01:08:54,714 --> 01:08:56,675
DIVINA: Paul, mi amor!
1370
01:08:57,134 --> 01:08:58,301
(PANTING)
1371
01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:10,522
(SILENCED GUNSHOTS)
1372
01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:13,733
No!
1373
01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:18,738
(GRUNTS)
1374
01:09:19,906 --> 01:09:20,907
(YELLS)
1375
01:09:32,085 --> 01:09:33,170
Van Gogh is traveling.
1376
01:09:33,253 --> 01:09:34,212
ExceHenL
1377
01:09:34,296 --> 01:09:36,840
I want the truck waiting
in Juérez in one hour.
1378
01:09:47,601 --> 01:09:49,060
(SILENCED GUNSHOTS)
1379
01:09:49,603 --> 01:09:50,854
(GRUNTS)
1380
01:09:53,106 --> 01:09:54,482
(SQUEAKING)
1381
01:09:56,568 --> 01:09:57,611
Yeah!
1382
01:10:04,743 --> 01:10:06,286
Enjoy the ride.
1383
01:10:20,258 --> 01:10:21,760
(SQUEAKING)
1384
01:10:22,928 --> 01:10:24,638
(SHOES SQUEAKING)
1385
01:10:30,977 --> 01:10:32,520
(QUIET PANTING)
1386
01:10:36,983 --> 01:10:38,193
See you.
1387
01:10:38,276 --> 01:10:39,694
(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)
1388
01:10:43,031 --> 01:10:44,032
(PANTING)
1389
01:10:44,157 --> 01:10:45,700
Where's that phone?
1390
01:10:45,784 --> 01:10:46,952
Come on.
1391
01:10:56,211 --> 01:10:57,212
(MUTTERS QUIETLY)
1392
01:10:57,712 --> 01:10:58,922
(PHONE VIBRATES)
1393
01:10:59,631 --> 01:11:00,924
Please tell me
Blart is dead.
1394
01:11:01,007 --> 01:11:02,217
Yeah, if by dead, you mean
1395
01:11:02,300 --> 01:11:03,927
taking out your
crew one by one,
1396
01:11:04,010 --> 01:11:06,846
and being in possession of
one of your prize paintings.
1397
01:11:07,305 --> 01:11:08,431
Which one?
1398
01:11:08,515 --> 01:11:09,599
I'm gonna say...
1399
01:11:09,683 --> 01:11:11,101
I don't know,
sunflowers?
1400
01:11:11,184 --> 01:11:12,811
That's a van Gogh,
you idiot.
1401
01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:14,312
Yeah, you know what?
Well, it's van gone
1402
01:11:14,396 --> 01:11:16,898
if you don't ramp down
the hurtful words.
1403
01:11:17,607 --> 01:11:19,609
What do you want'?
I want to make a deal.
1404
01:11:19,693 --> 01:11:21,653
A swap. A trade.
1405
01:11:25,282 --> 01:11:27,200
Suggesting we
make an exchange.
1406
01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:29,452
You see,
I have the painting...
I got it.
1407
01:11:29,536 --> 01:11:31,788
Meet me at
the Grand Hall, alone.
1408
01:11:32,831 --> 01:11:35,083
Time to even
the playing field.
1409
01:11:38,211 --> 01:11:40,130
(WOOZILY)
Oh, come on, man.
1410
01:11:40,839 --> 01:11:42,215
I'm sorry.
1411
01:11:49,306 --> 01:11:50,473
MAYA: You know what?
1412
01:11:50,557 --> 01:11:52,100
I made my decision.
1413
01:11:52,183 --> 01:11:55,145
If we live,
I'm not going to UCLA.
1414
01:11:57,063 --> 01:11:58,898
Are you sure?
Yes!
1415
01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:00,275
I can't abandon him.
1416
01:12:00,734 --> 01:12:02,652
He's never been alone.
1417
01:12:02,736 --> 01:12:05,280
We've always lived
with my grandma.
1418
01:12:05,363 --> 01:12:07,240
Until a milk truck took
her to a better place.
1419
01:12:08,533 --> 01:12:10,577
And then there was
those six days of marriage.
1420
01:12:11,077 --> 01:12:12,746
I mean, he still sleeps
with a night light.
1421
01:12:12,829 --> 01:12:13,872
LANE: Really?
1422
01:12:14,205 --> 01:12:15,749
Is that bad?
No.
1423
01:12:15,832 --> 01:12:17,667
No, a lot of people
are like that.
1424
01:12:17,751 --> 01:12:19,502
Yeah, a lot
of six-year-olds.
1425
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:20,795
You, come with me.
1426
01:12:20,879 --> 01:12:22,213
Have Robinson take
him to the helipad.
1427
01:12:22,297 --> 01:12:23,423
Let's go.
Maya.
1428
01:12:23,506 --> 01:12:24,591
Let's g0!
1429
01:12:27,761 --> 01:12:28,762
VINCENT: Eh-eh-eh.
1430
01:12:29,846 --> 01:12:31,681
That's far enough.
Maya, you okay?
1431
01:12:33,183 --> 01:12:34,225
I'm okay.
1432
01:12:34,309 --> 01:12:35,435
VINCENT: Well done, Blart.
1433
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:37,479
You thinned my
manpower significantly.
1434
01:12:37,937 --> 01:12:38,938
Must be getting pretty...
1435
01:12:39,272 --> 01:12:41,191
Lonely out there.
1436
01:12:41,483 --> 01:12:42,484
You scared?
1437
01:12:43,234 --> 01:12:44,277
Not following you.
1438
01:12:44,361 --> 01:12:46,529
Your fear of being alone.
1439
01:12:48,239 --> 01:12:49,824
First your wife
dumps you at the altar.
1440
01:12:49,908 --> 01:12:51,284
Mmm, wrong.
1441
01:12:51,368 --> 01:12:53,119
She was with me six days.
Oh, great.
1442
01:12:53,244 --> 01:12:54,954
So she got to sample
the merchandise
1443
01:12:55,038 --> 01:12:56,539
and was glad she
kept her receipt.
1444
01:12:56,915 --> 01:12:58,083
And then your mom
1445
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,293
kisses a bus.
1446
01:13:00,502 --> 01:13:02,545
It was a milk truck,
but I'll give you that one.
1447
01:13:02,879 --> 01:13:05,799
And now your
daughter can't wait
to get away from you.
1448
01:13:05,882 --> 01:13:07,050
That's not true, Dad.
1449
01:13:07,675 --> 01:13:10,178
Well, she's following
her destiny,
1450
01:13:10,261 --> 01:13:11,429
and I support it fully.
1451
01:13:11,596 --> 01:13:13,473
(IMITATES BUZZER)
Flag on the play, sloppy.
1452
01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:16,101
She says you can't be alone
1453
01:13:16,643 --> 01:13:18,728
and that you're
doing everything
in your pathetic power
1454
01:13:18,812 --> 01:13:20,230
to keep her
under your thumb.
1455
01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:22,732
I didn't say
that exactly, Dad.
1456
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,275
It's okay, sweetheart.
1457
01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:27,362
See, Vincent,
I'm fiercely independent,
1458
01:13:27,445 --> 01:13:29,656
yet I'm not a big
fan of being alone.
1459
01:13:30,198 --> 01:13:31,491
I'm a contradiction.
1460
01:13:33,660 --> 01:13:35,036
I told you I was crazy.
1461
01:13:37,455 --> 01:13:40,792
And I told you
that I'm crazy.
1462
01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:42,210
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1463
01:13:42,293 --> 01:13:43,795
You can't out-crazy me.
1464
01:13:43,878 --> 01:13:46,381
My crazy will take your crazy,
shove it in a metal tube,
1465
01:13:46,464 --> 01:13:48,425
fill it with rats,
then blowtorch it
1466
01:13:48,508 --> 01:13:50,093
until the rats have
no way to escape
1467
01:13:50,176 --> 01:13:51,678
except eating their
way through your crazy.
1468
01:13:51,761 --> 01:13:52,762
Wow!
1469
01:13:52,846 --> 01:13:55,265
Wow. You are oblivious
to the avalanche of insanity
1470
01:13:55,348 --> 01:13:56,474
lam about to unload.
1471
01:13:56,558 --> 01:13:57,934
You don't know
what I will do to you!
1472
01:13:58,017 --> 01:13:59,519
You don't know
what I'll do to you!
1473
01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:01,604
I will spin around
until I throw up
1474
01:14:01,688 --> 01:14:02,939
on you and your friends.
1475
01:14:03,022 --> 01:14:04,441
I simply don't care!
1476
01:14:04,524 --> 01:14:06,109
I'll stick your face
in maple syrup
1477
01:14:06,192 --> 01:14:07,569
and make you sing gospel!
1478
01:14:07,652 --> 01:14:09,112
How does that blow
your hair back, Blart?
1479
01:14:09,195 --> 01:14:10,488
I will crawl inside you
1480
01:14:10,572 --> 01:14:12,240
and lay eggs
like a baby spider!
1481
01:14:12,323 --> 01:14:13,366
I welcome it!
1482
01:14:13,450 --> 01:14:15,076
I've got two different
colored eyes!
1483
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:16,411
Shows you how
I live my life!
1484
01:14:16,494 --> 01:14:18,913
I will bring a folk guitar
to a pumpkin fight,
1485
01:14:18,997 --> 01:14:21,207
because that's the way
I was brought up!
1486
01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:24,461
Okay, you lost me
on that last one.
1487
01:14:24,544 --> 01:14:26,671
Because that's
how crazy I am!
1488
01:14:26,754 --> 01:14:28,006
Now, give me back
my daughter!
1489
01:14:28,089 --> 01:14:29,507
Give me my painting!
1490
01:14:29,674 --> 01:14:31,384
(BELLOWING)
1491
01:14:32,552 --> 01:14:33,553
(SIGHS)
1492
01:14:38,224 --> 01:14:39,893
Pick it up. Pick it
up before he ruins it.
1493
01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:42,729
MAN: Get back!
1494
01:14:48,318 --> 01:14:51,488
Did you honestly think
that I was gonna be thwarted
1495
01:14:51,571 --> 01:14:55,742
by some sweaty,
sluggish non-entity
like yourself?
1496
01:14:56,159 --> 01:14:57,702
"Non-entity."
1497
01:14:57,911 --> 01:14:59,329
See, I knew you
couldn't be trusted,
1498
01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:01,873
so I took out
an insurance policy.
1499
01:15:02,665 --> 01:15:06,377
Allow me to introduce you
to a few of my associates.
1500
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,087
Gino Chizetti,
1501
01:15:08,171 --> 01:15:10,840
Staten Island
Industrial Complex.
1502
01:15:11,174 --> 01:15:13,009
Saul Gundermutt,
1503
01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:15,678
Philadelphia Farmers' Market.
1504
01:15:15,970 --> 01:15:17,597
Khan Mubi,
1505
01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:19,516
King's Landing Walmart.
1506
01:15:20,141 --> 01:15:22,018
And last but not least,
1507
01:15:22,101 --> 01:15:25,730
Donna Ericone,
Mall of freaking America.
1508
01:15:33,488 --> 01:15:35,114
You got to...
You got to fan out, guys.
1509
01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:36,658
He can't see you.
1510
01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:38,368
Fan it out, fan it out.
1511
01:15:38,451 --> 01:15:41,496
VINCENT: Oh, oh, wow!
You have your own superhero.
1512
01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:42,664
What's with the cape?
1513
01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:46,042
Why are you wearing
a cape, Khan?
1514
01:15:46,125 --> 01:15:47,752
I came straight
from a haircut.
1515
01:15:51,506 --> 01:15:53,174
Vincent, you just
don't get it, do you?
1516
01:15:54,133 --> 01:15:56,553
Fool me once,
shame on you.
1517
01:15:56,636 --> 01:15:59,055
Fool me twice,
shame on me.
1518
01:15:59,138 --> 01:16:00,390
VINCENT: Are you
sure about that?
1519
01:16:00,473 --> 01:16:03,142
You see, I have a little
insurance policy of my own.
1520
01:16:12,694 --> 01:16:15,029
See, I thought I took
all of you out, what...
1521
01:16:15,488 --> 01:16:16,531
(SIGHS)
1522
01:16:16,614 --> 01:16:19,158
Non-lethal.
I get it now.
1523
01:16:21,286 --> 01:16:22,579
Shame on you.
1524
01:16:22,829 --> 01:16:23,997
(SIGHS)
1525
01:16:37,802 --> 01:16:38,803
(SIGHS)
1526
01:16:38,886 --> 01:16:42,432
We are trained
to detect, deter,
observe, and report.
1527
01:16:42,515 --> 01:16:46,769
But one day, six years ago,
a man did more than that.
1528
01:16:46,853 --> 01:16:49,981
And I am that man!
1529
01:16:50,857 --> 01:16:53,693
We are that man!
1530
01:16:54,277 --> 01:16:55,820
And so I say to you, sir...
1531
01:16:57,030 --> 01:16:58,448
Foot Locker!
1532
01:16:58,531 --> 01:17:00,116
(ALL BELLOWING)
1533
01:17:02,493 --> 01:17:04,203
VINCENT: Give me the gun.
Finish them. Go!
1534
01:17:04,537 --> 01:17:05,622
There's a lip on that carpet.
1535
01:17:05,705 --> 01:17:08,666
Someone's gonna
have to call that in,
get that changed, okay?
1536
01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:11,002
Foot Locker!
(TASER BUZZING)
1537
01:17:11,085 --> 01:17:12,629
(ALL BELLOWING)
1538
01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:28,728
(GROANING)
1539
01:17:33,107 --> 01:17:34,359
(GROANING)
1540
01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:49,415
Dad!
1541
01:17:57,340 --> 01:17:58,883
I'm going to the helipad!
1542
01:17:58,966 --> 01:18:00,259
(BELLOWING)
1543
01:18:00,885 --> 01:18:02,136
(PAUL GRUNTING)
1544
01:18:10,812 --> 01:18:12,855
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
1545
01:18:16,192 --> 01:18:17,193
(COUGHING)
1546
01:18:24,659 --> 01:18:25,910
(MAN SCREAMS)
1547
01:18:36,587 --> 01:18:38,923
Saul! Help me! Help me!
1548
01:18:39,716 --> 01:18:40,800
(GROANS)
1549
01:18:42,176 --> 01:18:43,302
Get back here.
1550
01:18:43,386 --> 01:18:44,470
(GRUNTING)
1551
01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,058
(BELLOWING)
1552
01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:57,400
(GROANS)
1553
01:19:09,287 --> 01:19:10,496
(BELLOWING)
1554
01:19:22,592 --> 01:19:23,718
(YELLS)
1555
01:19:36,898 --> 01:19:38,524
What? What?
1556
01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:40,568
Mmm-hmm.
1557
01:19:45,615 --> 01:19:47,200
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
1558
01:19:54,874 --> 01:19:55,833
Oh, no.
1559
01:19:55,917 --> 01:19:57,376
You couldn't stay out
of the way, could you?
1560
01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,545
Eduardo, I knew
you were part of this.
1561
01:19:59,837 --> 01:20:02,048
How is it a man like
you could win the heart
1562
01:20:02,423 --> 01:20:03,800
of a woman like Divina?
1563
01:20:04,175 --> 01:20:06,260
What are you talking about?
My daughter's been kidnapped!
1564
01:20:06,344 --> 01:20:07,386
Come on, man!
Look!
1565
01:20:12,809 --> 01:20:13,935
We'll never get
to them on time.
1566
01:20:15,478 --> 01:20:18,231
Hey, Blart. I heard
you need a little backup.
1567
01:20:18,397 --> 01:20:21,734
Fun fact for you,
there's no helipad up here.
1568
01:20:21,901 --> 01:20:23,694
But there is over there.
1569
01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:35,206
Got it.
1570
01:20:36,749 --> 01:20:38,084
We don't have much time.
1571
01:20:38,584 --> 01:20:40,586
Thanks, Nick.
No hard feelings.
1572
01:20:40,753 --> 01:20:41,921
(BELLOWING)
1573
01:20:52,348 --> 01:20:54,267
PANERO:
Hold on, Paul!
1574
01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,185
(ALL GROANING)
Oh, boy.
1575
01:21:00,064 --> 01:21:01,315
(GROANING)
1576
01:21:02,108 --> 01:21:04,110
SAUL: Do not look down!
1577
01:21:05,611 --> 01:21:06,988
DONNA: Don't look up, either!
1578
01:21:09,115 --> 01:21:10,116
(GROANING)
1579
01:21:10,199 --> 01:21:11,576
Knotjump!
1580
01:21:11,659 --> 01:21:12,660
(SCREAMING)
1581
01:21:13,911 --> 01:21:15,162
Coming in hot!
1582
01:21:18,666 --> 01:21:19,667
(GROANING)
1583
01:21:24,046 --> 01:21:25,464
Dad. Come on.
1584
01:21:28,175 --> 01:21:29,176
Hey!
1585
01:21:30,761 --> 01:21:32,138
(SILENCED GUNSHOTS)
(SCREAMS)
1586
01:21:32,805 --> 01:21:35,558
You finish loading.
I'll finish this.
1587
01:21:51,073 --> 01:21:52,491
(RUSTLING)
1588
01:22:09,884 --> 01:22:11,177
UP YOU go, missy.
1589
01:22:11,302 --> 01:22:12,929
VVhoa!VVhoa.
1590
01:22:13,846 --> 01:22:16,182
All right, guys.
Who took my show hair?
1591
01:22:16,891 --> 01:22:18,684
I think Maya's
just seen her future.
1592
01:22:20,353 --> 01:22:21,354
(GASPS)
1593
01:22:21,437 --> 01:22:22,772
Nice punch.
1594
01:22:23,272 --> 01:22:24,565
Now, don't move.
1595
01:22:26,734 --> 01:22:27,777
(GROANING)
1596
01:22:27,860 --> 01:22:29,445
PAUL: You don't move.
1597
01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:33,449
Whoa.
1598
01:22:34,909 --> 01:22:37,745
Looks like we
got ourselves
a sticky situation.
1599
01:22:43,626 --> 01:22:44,919
Ooh. That doesn't sound like
1600
01:22:45,002 --> 01:22:46,212
something that
can be fixed here.
1601
01:22:46,295 --> 01:22:47,838
You done?
I am.
1602
01:22:48,089 --> 01:22:49,090
Great. So am l.
1603
01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:53,552
(SHENCEDGUNSHOT)
(GASPS)
1604
01:22:53,719 --> 01:22:54,720
(GROANING)
1605
01:23:01,727 --> 01:23:03,020
(SCREAMING)
1606
01:23:07,066 --> 01:23:08,818
Oatmeal!
1607
01:23:09,151 --> 01:23:10,403
(SCREAMING)
1608
01:23:20,413 --> 01:23:22,748
Always bet on Blart.
1609
01:23:24,750 --> 01:23:25,710
Dad!
1610
01:23:25,793 --> 01:23:26,919
(SIGHS)
1611
01:23:29,588 --> 01:23:32,925
PAUL: So Paul Blart hadn't
officially peaked after all.
1612
01:23:33,968 --> 01:23:36,470
Eduardo and I got
past our differences.
1613
01:23:36,554 --> 01:23:39,515
I told him that
if he ever wanted to go
where the real action was,
1614
01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:41,142
there would always
be a job for him
1615
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:42,685
at the West Orange
Pavilion Mall.
1616
01:23:42,977 --> 01:23:44,103
Officer Blart.
1617
01:23:45,730 --> 01:23:47,606
PAUL". He turned me
down immediately.
1618
01:23:48,315 --> 01:23:50,151
But I did get to
meet the man himself...
1619
01:23:50,234 --> 01:23:51,193
Mr. Wynn.
1620
01:23:51,277 --> 01:23:54,321
...who was appreciative
that I saved his
art collection.
1621
01:23:55,114 --> 01:23:56,532
Very appreciative.
1622
01:23:57,199 --> 01:23:58,617
Holy crawfish!
1623
01:23:59,827 --> 01:24:01,120
With all things
going my way,
1624
01:24:01,203 --> 01:24:03,372
I figured it was time
to make a decision
1625
01:24:03,456 --> 01:24:05,708
that would change
my life forever.
1626
01:24:05,791 --> 01:24:06,876
Paul?
1627
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:08,711
You...
1628
01:24:09,086 --> 01:24:10,546
Look at me now.
Yeah, okay.
1629
01:24:10,629 --> 01:24:12,715
You are a fearless man,
1630
01:24:13,466 --> 01:24:15,801
a loving father,
a strange,
1631
01:24:16,218 --> 01:24:17,720
misshapen superhero.
1632
01:24:17,803 --> 01:24:20,181
Thank you.
And my heart is yours.
1633
01:24:20,264 --> 01:24:21,682
Okay, Divina,
listen very intently.
1634
01:24:21,766 --> 01:24:22,725
Mmm-hmm.
1635
01:24:22,808 --> 01:24:25,478
Some people
think that holding on
is what makes one strong.
1636
01:24:25,978 --> 01:24:27,563
But in reality,
1637
01:24:28,439 --> 01:24:30,983
our only power
is in letting go.
1638
01:24:31,609 --> 01:24:33,027
But I love...
Ta-ta-ta-da.
1639
01:24:33,652 --> 01:24:35,196
That's just it.
1640
01:24:35,654 --> 01:24:36,739
See, it's easy
to fall in love,
1641
01:24:36,822 --> 01:24:39,200
but hard to find
someone to catch you.
1642
01:24:39,283 --> 01:24:40,493
Besides,
1643
01:24:41,035 --> 01:24:42,119
you don't love me.
1644
01:24:42,828 --> 01:24:45,164
But I...
What you love
is the mystery.
1645
01:24:45,247 --> 01:24:46,749
That's all I am to you.
1646
01:24:46,832 --> 01:24:48,667
You know,
I'm a lone cowboy.
1647
01:24:48,751 --> 01:24:50,211
A renegade.
1648
01:24:50,294 --> 01:24:51,837
A Rocky Mountain steed.
1649
01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:56,634
But truth be told, Divina,
I'm none of those things.
1650
01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,386
I'm a simple man.
1651
01:25:00,012 --> 01:25:02,765
Now, the qualities you seek,
they're in him.
1652
01:25:03,808 --> 01:25:06,602
That man, sitting
right over there.
That man,
1653
01:25:07,144 --> 01:25:09,563
just longing to catch...
He's crying right now,
isn't he?
1654
01:25:09,855 --> 01:25:11,232
Yep, he's Crying-
1655
01:25:11,524 --> 01:25:13,025
That's a full-on cry.
1656
01:25:14,527 --> 01:25:16,612
But he's the real deal,
Divina.
1657
01:25:16,695 --> 01:25:19,281
He swung in on a rope
like a knight
in shining armor,
1658
01:25:19,365 --> 01:25:22,034
and he rescued my
daughter and me,
and he loves you.
1659
01:25:22,618 --> 01:25:24,120
Now, go to him.
1660
01:25:24,954 --> 01:25:26,038
Go.
1661
01:25:28,874 --> 01:25:30,376
You're right.
1662
01:25:30,793 --> 01:25:32,878
But don't kid yourself,
Paul Blart.
1663
01:25:33,254 --> 01:25:35,548
You are
a Rocky Mountain steed.
1664
01:25:45,850 --> 01:25:47,226
That actually
felt really good.
1665
01:25:49,395 --> 01:25:51,397
I might have made
a colossal mistake.
1666
01:25:51,856 --> 01:25:52,898
Colossal.
1667
01:25:52,982 --> 01:25:54,567
SAUL". Ladies and gentlemen,
1668
01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:58,904
to commemorate his long
career of undying loyalty,
1669
01:25:59,238 --> 01:26:01,699
honor, and acts
of heroism,
1670
01:26:02,241 --> 01:26:04,743
above and beyond
the call of duty,
1671
01:26:05,035 --> 01:26:06,036
twice,
1672
01:26:06,120 --> 01:26:08,164
the Security Officers
Trade Association
1673
01:26:08,247 --> 01:26:11,542
is proud to bestow
on Officer Paul Blart
1674
01:26:11,625 --> 01:26:12,960
its highest
1675
01:26:13,043 --> 01:26:15,254
and, really,
only award,
1676
01:26:15,337 --> 01:26:17,381
the Safety Medal of Honor.
1677
01:26:17,548 --> 01:26:19,008
(APPLAUSE)
1678
01:26:19,258 --> 01:26:20,885
PAUL: The road
of life is hard.
1679
01:26:21,385 --> 01:26:25,139
But once you reach the top,
the view is amazing.
1680
01:26:42,948 --> 01:26:45,701
Look, I've given it
a lot of thought.
1681
01:26:46,744 --> 01:26:47,870
And I'm gonna be
really happy
1682
01:26:47,953 --> 01:26:50,289
at Central Jersey Applied
Technical Junior College.
1683
01:26:50,748 --> 01:26:52,041
Really?
Yeah.
1684
01:26:52,124 --> 01:26:54,043
So they don't
have a football team
1685
01:26:54,126 --> 01:26:55,461
OT a campus.
1686
01:26:55,544 --> 01:26:56,754
I mean, who cares?
1687
01:26:56,837 --> 01:26:59,632
The last couple of days
really reracked my priorities.
1688
01:26:59,798 --> 01:27:02,301
Well, if you want to
stay home with me
and keep me company,
1689
01:27:02,384 --> 01:27:05,846
maybe for a year or two
until I get settled,
then I have to say,
1690
01:27:06,305 --> 01:27:07,556
I think you're crazy.
1691
01:27:08,933 --> 01:27:10,684
You're going to UCLA.
1692
01:27:12,478 --> 01:27:14,104
And, besides...
1693
01:27:17,650 --> 01:27:18,901
Holy crawfish!
1694
01:27:19,235 --> 01:27:21,195
That's exactly
what I said.
I said that.
1695
01:27:26,992 --> 01:27:29,161
Now, go. Have fun.
1696
01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:33,165
Not too much fun.
1697
01:27:35,376 --> 01:27:36,377
(SIGHS)
1698
01:27:38,796 --> 01:27:40,130
(SOFTLY) All right.
1699
01:27:40,464 --> 01:27:42,299
But as for this renegade,
1700
01:27:42,383 --> 01:27:44,551
some of us are
meant to ride alone.
1701
01:27:45,177 --> 01:27:46,971
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1702
01:27:47,638 --> 01:27:49,056
All by "UL--
1703
01:27:49,598 --> 01:27:50,599
Whoa!
1704
01:27:51,100 --> 01:27:53,519
What do we have here?
1705
01:27:56,522 --> 01:27:57,856
a' ...gravity
1706
01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:02,444
♪ And it's time to go down
1707
01:28:06,532 --> 01:28:11,745
♪ I'm going to fly
on my own two feet
1708
01:28:11,954 --> 01:28:14,164
♪ From a cool Mile High
1709
01:28:14,248 --> 01:28:15,749
(TIRES SQUEAL)
(HORN HONKS)
1710
01:28:15,833 --> 01:28:17,209
MAN: Whoa! Hey!
Sorry.
1711
01:28:20,045 --> 01:28:25,467
♪ I'm gonna fly
on my own two feet
1712
01:28:25,551 --> 01:28:31,265
♪ From a cool Mile High,
I can see every dream
1713
01:28:31,807 --> 01:28:33,142
You know what
you just did?
1714
01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:34,810
You jaywalked in
a business district, sir.
1715
01:28:34,893 --> 01:28:36,937
Actually, it's,
uh, "officer."
1716
01:28:39,481 --> 01:28:40,941
Oh, I apologize.
1717
01:28:41,025 --> 01:28:44,361
I should've recognized
the steely-eyed gaze
of a fellow brother-in-arms.
1718
01:28:44,695 --> 01:28:45,696
(CHUCKLES)
1719
01:28:48,365 --> 01:28:50,117
You're still giving me
a ticket?
1720
01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:51,285
Nope.
1721
01:28:52,161 --> 01:28:53,662
I'm gonna give you
my phone number.
1722
01:28:54,872 --> 01:28:57,041
In case you want to
grab a drink sometime.
1723
01:28:58,500 --> 01:28:59,543
I don't drink.
1724
01:28:59,960 --> 01:29:01,462
But I do ride!
1725
01:29:01,754 --> 01:29:03,297
(NEIGHING)
(GROANS)
1726
01:29:03,380 --> 01:29:05,090
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
1727
01:29:09,595 --> 01:29:10,637
Are you okay?
1728
01:29:11,138 --> 01:29:12,222
Nope.
1729
01:29:13,307 --> 01:29:15,351
But I've never
been better.
1730
01:29:15,434 --> 01:29:19,271
♪ I'm gonna fly
1731
01:29:28,989 --> 01:29:30,491
♪ Yeah
1732
01:29:31,158 --> 01:29:33,285
♪ There's a cold rush
1733
01:29:33,702 --> 01:29:36,372
♪ As I'm staring
down the barrel
1734
01:29:37,456 --> 01:29:39,083
♪ Cocky
1735
01:29:40,125 --> 01:29:42,461
♪ With legs of steel
1736
01:29:42,544 --> 01:29:44,505
♪ Concealed dynamite
1737
01:29:44,588 --> 01:29:48,092
♪ All you need is gravity
1738
01:29:49,718 --> 01:29:52,554
♪ And it's time to go down
1739
01:29:52,638 --> 01:29:55,641
♪ Three, two, one...
1740
01:29:55,808 --> 01:30:01,397
♪ I'm gonna fly
on my own two feet
1741
01:30:01,480 --> 01:30:07,152
♪ From a cool Mile High,
I can see every dream
1742
01:30:07,236 --> 01:30:10,989
♪ Waited my whole life
I take a deep breath
1743
01:30:11,073 --> 01:30:13,575
♪ Now open the gates
1744
01:30:13,659 --> 01:30:18,789
♪ I was born to feel this
screaming wind against my face
1745
01:30:19,164 --> 01:30:22,418
♪ >a' I'm gonna fly a'
1746
01:30:29,341 --> 01:30:31,510
(MUSIC PLAYING)