1 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,693 It was a day like no other. 2 00:00:37,364 --> 00:00:40,075 It was a day I had always dreamed of. 3 00:00:40,992 --> 00:00:43,160 A day I would never forget. 4 00:00:45,371 --> 00:00:49,325 Will you marry this woman and take her to your heart, 5 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:52,244 forever devoted and forever young? 6 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,736 I will. 7 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:58,667 And will you marry this man and take him to your heart, 8 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,253 forever devoted and forever young? 9 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,745 I will. 10 00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:06,517 Would you now place the ring on her finger? 11 00:01:09,729 --> 00:01:11,397 I now declare... 12 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:17,695 What a shame we had uninvited guests. 13 00:01:20,573 --> 00:01:23,659 I'll have what I came for this day! 14 00:01:26,162 --> 00:01:28,039 Jack politely asked him to leave. 15 00:01:28,372 --> 00:01:30,248 Kiss steel, bastard! 16 00:01:43,511 --> 00:01:44,511 Jack! 17 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,366 Hold tight! I'm coming! 18 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:11,373 His temper flared, but he fought like a gentleman. 19 00:02:34,729 --> 00:02:39,234 My one true love had fought bravely, but it wasn't enough. 20 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,196 There was only room for one more. 21 00:02:53,296 --> 00:02:55,866 It was either my love or myself. 22 00:02:55,966 --> 00:03:00,337 - You take it, my love. - Never! Those maggots will not have you. 23 00:03:00,504 --> 00:03:03,123 They will not have me for long. 24 00:03:03,223 --> 00:03:06,500 I have consumption and will be dead before the year is out. 25 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:10,714 You were gonna marry me with consumption? Why didn't you tell me? 26 00:03:10,814 --> 00:03:12,966 I didn't want to spoil things. 27 00:03:13,066 --> 00:03:14,343 - Go. - No! 28 00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:16,729 Live to fight another day. 29 00:03:20,607 --> 00:03:22,693 Whatever makes you happy. 30 00:03:28,364 --> 00:03:31,701 With Jack, my happiness always came first. 31 00:03:33,494 --> 00:03:35,371 I faced my fate alone. 32 00:03:35,538 --> 00:03:38,574 The 10 turned to 20, the 20 to 40. 33 00:03:38,674 --> 00:03:41,869 Could this be the end of my freedom, my salvation, my... 34 00:03:41,969 --> 00:03:44,672 Hey, gorgeous! 35 00:03:45,465 --> 00:03:47,759 Hiya, Joanie! 36 00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:03,566 What happened? 37 00:04:34,888 --> 00:04:38,850 "Was this the end of my freedom, my salvation?" 38 00:04:41,311 --> 00:04:43,311 My career? 39 00:05:56,342 --> 00:05:58,586 Gorgeous day. Huh, gorgeous? 40 00:05:58,686 --> 00:06:01,090 We got blue skies, 41 00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:04,518 nice warm water and a cold beer. 42 00:06:07,646 --> 00:06:09,515 Honey, did you get any more Buds? 43 00:06:09,615 --> 00:06:14,569 No, I just didn't have time today to ravage the Riviera for your beer. 44 00:06:15,528 --> 00:06:18,856 - Tough day, huh? - Yeah, you could say it was tough. 45 00:06:18,956 --> 00:06:22,577 But then when the going gets tough, the tough... 46 00:06:25,121 --> 00:06:26,990 I don't know what the tough do. 47 00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:30,159 I don't know what the pirates do, or what anybody does. 48 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,755 - Jack... - Oh, honey. I know, baby. I know. 49 00:06:36,882 --> 00:06:39,802 Look out there. What do you see? 50 00:06:40,761 --> 00:06:42,755 - Bloomingdale's? - No. 51 00:06:42,855 --> 00:06:44,247 Greece. 52 00:06:44,391 --> 00:06:48,052 Yeah. Mykonos, Lesbos, ouzo, olive oil. Honey, we're going. 53 00:06:48,152 --> 00:06:52,223 Wait. I thought you said that we were going back to New York for a while. 54 00:06:52,323 --> 00:06:55,268 Absolutely. When the summer's over we're going. 55 00:06:55,368 --> 00:06:59,646 Oh, Jack, we've been on this boat half a year now. I need shore leave. 56 00:06:59,746 --> 00:07:03,317 I promised Gloria I'd finish that book three months ago, and I can't. 57 00:07:03,417 --> 00:07:05,485 I don't know what happens next. 58 00:07:05,585 --> 00:07:08,363 I thought you wanted to sail around the world with me. 59 00:07:08,463 --> 00:07:11,667 Well, I do, but not all of it this week. 60 00:07:12,084 --> 00:07:14,870 I mean, Jack, this is just becoming a blur. 61 00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:19,708 Exotic ports and great parties and spectacular sunsets... 62 00:07:19,808 --> 00:07:21,459 It's not enough. 63 00:07:21,559 --> 00:07:23,794 It's not enough?! 64 00:07:23,894 --> 00:07:28,216 You sound like someone who's got what they wanted and now don't want what they got. 65 00:07:28,316 --> 00:07:31,803 - I wanna do something serious. - Serious? Come on! 66 00:07:31,903 --> 00:07:34,306 How much romance can one woman take? 67 00:07:34,406 --> 00:07:36,692 Joan Wilder? 68 00:07:39,319 --> 00:07:41,822 From your most devoted friend. 69 00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:44,531 Thank you. 70 00:07:50,913 --> 00:07:55,159 "This afternoon we shall meet... awaiting the moment." What's this afternoon? 71 00:07:55,259 --> 00:08:00,089 - Must be somebody coming to the reception. - That's not till next Tuesday. 72 00:08:01,674 --> 00:08:04,177 This is "next Tuesday", Jack. 73 00:08:20,401 --> 00:08:25,439 - Jack, you said you were getting a car. - If I knew it was Tuesday, I would've. Sorry. 74 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,608 That's all right. 75 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:31,028 Whaddaya say we spin that roulette wheel while we're there? 76 00:08:31,128 --> 00:08:33,205 Sounds great. 77 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:43,923 Jack. 78 00:08:44,299 --> 00:08:46,167 - Yeah? - She can't leave now. 79 00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:49,045 - Why not? - What do you mean, "Why not?" 80 00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:52,633 - Oh, my God. - I'm your biggest fan! 81 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,051 - I read all your books. - Thank you. 82 00:08:55,151 --> 00:08:59,389 I'm so happy to see you. 83 00:08:59,489 --> 00:09:02,734 - This is my publisher. Gloria Horne. - Oh, your publisher. 84 00:09:03,318 --> 00:09:06,238 - And this is... - You are Mr Wilder? 85 00:09:06,822 --> 00:09:09,649 No, I'm Mr Colton. Jack Colton. 86 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,068 What do you do, Mr Colton? 87 00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:14,237 Casino work. 88 00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:18,907 Yeah. I think I'll go downstairs and punch in. Excuse me, excuse me. 89 00:09:19,007 --> 00:09:21,502 - But... - I'll be back! 90 00:09:23,003 --> 00:09:25,247 God, I've got to have a drink! 91 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,791 Literary functions are not Jack's speed. 92 00:09:27,891 --> 00:09:31,796 I mean, his favourite author is the man who wrote "Pull Tab to Open". 93 00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:35,800 - I am his favourite author. - You saying it's none of my business? 94 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,929 Let me tell you, Jack is not the marrying kind. 95 00:09:39,029 --> 00:09:43,057 I am worried. You're the girl who never gets a book back late to the library. 96 00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:48,312 You are three months past your deadline. What gives? Un scotch, double. 97 00:09:48,412 --> 00:09:53,317 My heart just isn't in it. Romance just doesn't seem real to me any more. 98 00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:57,947 Real? You don't write "real". You write about people that sail off into the sunset. 99 00:09:58,047 --> 00:10:02,743 - And the next day when the sun comes up? - There is no next day in romance. 100 00:10:02,843 --> 00:10:06,171 Stop confusing real life with a romantic novel. 101 00:10:06,546 --> 00:10:10,124 - Joanie, just finish it. - I can't. 102 00:10:10,224 --> 00:10:13,252 After 17 books, I don't know how it ends any more. 103 00:10:13,352 --> 00:10:16,390 Then permit me to tell you. 104 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,762 It doesn't end. 105 00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:25,691 It only begins anew when you journey down the Nile with me. 106 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,903 - Have you got the right woman? - No. 107 00:10:31,112 --> 00:10:36,234 My name is Omar Khalifa and I have travelled 1,000 miles to tell you I need you. 108 00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:39,153 - You sent me the flowers. - They pale by your beauty. 109 00:10:39,253 --> 00:10:40,905 Oh, Mary! 110 00:10:41,005 --> 00:10:45,201 - I read about you. - Yes, I know. Time magazine. 111 00:10:45,301 --> 00:10:49,872 Well, I'm afraid the Western press cannot understand the spirit of my vision. 112 00:10:49,972 --> 00:10:52,883 You are a writer. You can understand. 113 00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:57,389 So, Joan Wilder, you must come and write my story. 114 00:10:58,556 --> 00:11:00,883 I only write romance novels. 115 00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:04,979 Yes. And you haven't finished the one you're working on right now. 116 00:11:05,814 --> 00:11:10,151 You are a gifted storyteller. You create heroes in a world of cynics. 117 00:11:10,402 --> 00:11:14,272 Journey down the Nile with me and I'll give you a chance to record history. 118 00:11:14,372 --> 00:11:16,907 - Come. We must leave today. - Joanie! 119 00:11:17,491 --> 00:11:22,571 In just four nights I will become Emperor, and you will have the exclusive story. 120 00:11:22,671 --> 00:11:25,499 - They have emperors on the Nile? - They do now. 121 00:11:26,375 --> 00:11:28,175 Oh, shit. 122 00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:50,349 So now what are we celebrating? 123 00:11:50,449 --> 00:11:52,943 - The Nile! - Oh, the Nile. 124 00:11:53,152 --> 00:11:55,029 We've been invited to Africa. 125 00:11:55,904 --> 00:11:58,032 Jack Colton, Omar Khalifa. 126 00:11:58,782 --> 00:12:01,068 How do you do? 127 00:12:01,168 --> 00:12:07,323 He's asked me - me - to write his story. It's just what I've always wanted to do! 128 00:12:07,423 --> 00:12:11,744 And now Joan's work will receive the serious attention that it deserves. 129 00:12:11,844 --> 00:12:14,872 And this will be her biggest accomplishment: 130 00:12:14,972 --> 00:12:17,050 My biography. 131 00:12:17,717 --> 00:12:21,213 What's so important there that you have to write the book now? 132 00:12:21,313 --> 00:12:23,807 - Mr Khalifa has... - Omar, please. 133 00:12:24,391 --> 00:12:28,644 Omar has been chosen to unite the tribes of the Nile 134 00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:31,806 and end the strife that has bloodied his land. 135 00:12:31,906 --> 00:12:35,059 He will carry on the work of the missing Great Redeemer. 136 00:12:35,159 --> 00:12:39,030 - You have listened very well. - You got all that in 20 minutes? 137 00:12:40,948 --> 00:12:44,952 As a friend of Miss Wilder's, you are welcome to be my guest also. 138 00:12:45,495 --> 00:12:47,580 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 139 00:12:49,831 --> 00:12:52,376 Could I talk to you for a minute, please? 140 00:12:58,090 --> 00:13:00,166 I thought you wanted to go to New York. 141 00:13:00,266 --> 00:13:02,544 - That's all changed. - That fast? 142 00:13:02,644 --> 00:13:06,924 But to write a biography - it's something important, something real. 143 00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:11,178 - This is what I've been looking for. - Isn't it a little bit over your head? 144 00:13:11,278 --> 00:13:13,763 I think it's a great chance. 145 00:13:13,863 --> 00:13:15,941 So you got your heart set on it? 146 00:13:20,821 --> 00:13:23,281 Mine's set on Greece. 147 00:13:27,786 --> 00:13:29,871 So when are you gonna leave? 148 00:13:31,039 --> 00:13:33,783 Tonight. He has a private jet and... 149 00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:36,168 Oh, he's got a private jet. 150 00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:41,790 - Oh, what the hell. We had a good run. - Oh, Jack, come on. 151 00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:44,668 This is just five or four weeks of research. 152 00:13:44,768 --> 00:13:47,547 Maybe you're right. Maybe we need a break. 153 00:13:47,647 --> 00:13:50,050 It's been kind of tough lately. 154 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:53,687 Yeah. When the going gets tough, the tough go to Greece. 155 00:13:57,691 --> 00:14:00,943 - Well, I'll write you. - Where? 156 00:14:02,695 --> 00:14:03,695 Yeah. 157 00:14:04,572 --> 00:14:05,772 Where? 158 00:14:19,253 --> 00:14:23,214 I think I'll go down and give that roulette wheel one more chance. 159 00:14:33,225 --> 00:14:35,311 You take care of yourself. 160 00:14:37,813 --> 00:14:39,899 And you stay out of trouble. 161 00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:52,527 Look out for her, will ya? 162 00:14:52,627 --> 00:14:56,831 I can offer you this comfort: She leaves you for a higher purpose. 163 00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:01,126 Yeah. 164 00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:19,354 Free Al-Jawhara! 165 00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:53,296 Don't be frightened. You know, a man of vision has many enemies. 166 00:15:53,396 --> 00:15:57,349 And my destiny is to outsmart them. You see? 167 00:15:58,308 --> 00:15:59,908 Like it? 168 00:16:00,853 --> 00:16:02,453 It's OK. 169 00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:48,724 Well, sweetheart, I guess it's just you and me. 170 00:16:48,824 --> 00:16:51,611 Goddamn it, she was the best time I ever had. 171 00:16:51,986 --> 00:16:54,822 Don't cry, scumbag! I'll keep you company. 172 00:16:58,368 --> 00:17:01,696 Cartagena, Colombia! Long time no... Oh, shit. 173 00:17:01,796 --> 00:17:05,783 - Go ahead. Gimme a reason. Make my year! - Hey, go easy with the gun. 174 00:17:05,883 --> 00:17:10,545 Did you miss me? I missed you. You're all I thought about for six months. 175 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:15,592 They threw me in a jail filled with rejects from the communicable disease ward. 176 00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:20,590 Every wacko, drippy, open-sored lowlife was in that joint! 177 00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:23,142 All wanting to be my proctologist. 178 00:17:23,393 --> 00:17:26,646 And rats! I'm full of rat bites. 179 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:32,809 Ten weeks of rabies shots this long and all I thought of was you, Colton. Just you! 180 00:17:32,909 --> 00:17:37,489 Well, I'm flattered, pal. And I'm sorry you had such a tough time. 181 00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:40,817 How about 100 bucks? 182 00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:44,821 I'll give you a one-way ticket to Harp Land! What'd you do with it? 183 00:17:44,921 --> 00:17:48,199 - What are you talking about? - The stone, moron! I'm cocked! 184 00:17:48,299 --> 00:17:53,078 - Let's talk about this like gentlemen. - Gentlemen! Did I tell you I got malaria? 185 00:17:53,178 --> 00:17:57,625 Every time I shake, I shake like this. Know what happens if I shake my trigger finger? 186 00:17:57,725 --> 00:18:01,755 And I feel an attack coming on! Know what happens if that happens? 187 00:18:01,855 --> 00:18:04,683 It's the end of Mr Lucky. That's the end of... 188 00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:07,267 Holy shit! 189 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,848 Quiet! Next time you'll not be so lucky. 190 00:18:11,948 --> 00:18:15,894 - I am Tarak. You must come with me now. - What the hell are you? 191 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:19,772 - Omar steal our jewel. Al-Jawhara. - Jewel? 192 00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:24,401 You were invited with the woman. You can get into Omar's palace. My people cannot. 193 00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:29,281 - What people? What are you talking about? - You must help me find the Jewel. 194 00:18:29,381 --> 00:18:31,742 - What jewel? - The Jewel of the Nile. 195 00:18:31,842 --> 00:18:34,328 - Our most priceless jewel. - Oh, that jewel. 196 00:18:34,428 --> 00:18:38,165 Omar has stolen my people's jewel. Omar is a very bad man. 197 00:18:38,265 --> 00:18:40,333 Oh, that scum! I spit on him! 198 00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:44,046 Jack, buddy, let's help this nice man get his jewel back. 199 00:18:44,146 --> 00:18:47,716 - Yes. - Look, I don't know where you're from, 200 00:18:47,816 --> 00:18:49,885 but I'm sailing my boat tonight. 201 00:18:49,985 --> 00:18:54,440 No, you must come to help find the Jewel now before Omar kill many people. 202 00:18:54,732 --> 00:18:58,519 As long as Omar have the Jewel, nothing can stop him. 203 00:18:58,619 --> 00:19:02,656 Look, I'm going on the boat. You guys can do what you want. 204 00:19:08,203 --> 00:19:10,080 The boat blew up! 205 00:19:12,457 --> 00:19:14,325 My boat blew up. 206 00:19:14,425 --> 00:19:16,452 The boat blew up! 207 00:19:16,552 --> 00:19:18,630 Everything's gone. 208 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:24,344 Who are you? The Prince of Darkness? Don't you got any friends? 209 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,596 This is the work of Omar. 210 00:19:28,014 --> 00:19:31,884 - Omar blew up my boat, huh? - Your woman is in danger, too. 211 00:19:31,984 --> 00:19:33,970 I will take you to him. 212 00:19:34,070 --> 00:19:36,564 - I'm coming, too. - The hell you are! 213 00:19:37,148 --> 00:19:40,143 Look, you owe me, Colton. 214 00:19:40,243 --> 00:19:42,946 So wherever you're going, I'm going. 215 00:19:44,239 --> 00:19:46,524 Where we going? 216 00:19:46,624 --> 00:19:48,016 Africa. 217 00:20:18,731 --> 00:20:21,975 - Do you recognise my home? - I wrote this! 218 00:20:22,075 --> 00:20:27,322 Yes! In The Return of the King. I had the same uniforms designed. 219 00:20:39,917 --> 00:20:41,917 Hello. Hi! 220 00:20:45,298 --> 00:20:48,668 - Is all this yours? - It belongs to the country. To my people. 221 00:20:48,768 --> 00:20:49,768 Oh. 222 00:20:55,684 --> 00:20:57,803 Why point out the negative? 223 00:20:57,903 --> 00:21:00,930 In three nights in Kadir the moon will be full, 224 00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:06,519 and all my people will unite behind me in peace and none of this will be necessary. 225 00:21:06,619 --> 00:21:11,074 - Now let me show you my humble house. - Thank you. 226 00:21:17,205 --> 00:21:19,657 I'm really blessed. My people love me. 227 00:21:19,757 --> 00:21:23,418 Well, yes. They seem very... enthusiastic. 228 00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:34,630 Oh, this is a good shot for you - the little boy holding up my picture. 229 00:21:34,730 --> 00:21:36,808 Oh, yeah, that's wonderful. 230 00:21:58,912 --> 00:22:00,572 My humble house. 231 00:22:00,672 --> 00:22:03,291 You must forgive us. We are a poor people. 232 00:22:13,217 --> 00:22:15,837 Everything you need, they will bring you. 233 00:22:15,937 --> 00:22:17,380 Oh, thank you. 234 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,476 Here only strangers say thank you. Family and friends have no need. 235 00:22:23,437 --> 00:22:25,430 What was that? 236 00:22:25,530 --> 00:22:27,607 Cats. Come. 237 00:22:29,943 --> 00:22:31,611 I have a cat. 238 00:22:39,201 --> 00:22:41,287 I hope this is satisfactory. 239 00:22:42,830 --> 00:22:46,116 Oh, yes, this is OK. Fine. 240 00:22:46,216 --> 00:22:48,744 Here you'll write your masterpiece. 241 00:22:48,844 --> 00:22:51,038 Ah, I have a few questions... 242 00:22:51,138 --> 00:22:54,633 I see the writer is already at work. Good. 243 00:22:55,718 --> 00:22:58,128 Explore your new world. 244 00:22:58,228 --> 00:23:01,640 Feel free to go anywhere and see anything. 245 00:23:01,974 --> 00:23:04,060 Talk to anyone. 246 00:23:04,643 --> 00:23:08,397 I'm glad you're here, Joan. Together we'll make history. 247 00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:07,988 It's like a fishbowl! 248 00:24:08,088 --> 00:24:12,668 Why do these Third World cesspools always gotta be so hot, will you tell me that? 249 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,006 Hey, where the hell you going? 250 00:24:22,470 --> 00:24:24,470 Holy shit! 251 00:24:41,655 --> 00:24:46,243 Well, Colton, looks like we've hitched our wagon to a star. 252 00:25:15,189 --> 00:25:17,274 Stop that! Stop it! 253 00:25:25,948 --> 00:25:27,948 Excuse me? 254 00:25:29,118 --> 00:25:31,579 What does this mean? 255 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:38,920 - Do you speak English? - "Give back the Jewel." 256 00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:43,006 - Give back the jewel? - Yeah. Eid lana Al-Jawhara. 257 00:25:47,887 --> 00:25:50,390 You can't do that! I'm a professional. 258 00:25:59,232 --> 00:26:01,317 We'll see about that. 259 00:26:03,236 --> 00:26:06,605 If you don't tell me what the hell is going on here, 260 00:26:06,705 --> 00:26:10,909 - I'll be on the first plane back to New York. - It's impossible. 261 00:26:11,493 --> 00:26:16,573 Tomorrow we journey to Kadir. You must be there. It will be your most important chapter. 262 00:26:16,673 --> 00:26:20,711 - I can't write if you keep secrets from me. - What secrets? 263 00:26:23,547 --> 00:26:25,632 What is the Jewel? 264 00:26:27,925 --> 00:26:30,253 The Jewel is a legend. 265 00:26:30,353 --> 00:26:32,345 I am real. 266 00:26:33,015 --> 00:26:36,435 Do not be distracted from your mission, Joan Wilder. 267 00:26:37,144 --> 00:26:39,229 Make yourself comfortable. 268 00:26:39,771 --> 00:26:42,724 You stay with me until our book is done. 269 00:26:42,824 --> 00:26:44,901 You can't keep me here! 270 00:26:47,654 --> 00:26:49,740 Go. You are free to leave. 271 00:26:52,950 --> 00:26:57,079 Only the worst kind of fool would attempt our desert alone. 272 00:27:07,423 --> 00:27:11,670 I gotta get off this camel. It's breaking my ass! Colton! 273 00:27:11,770 --> 00:27:14,338 - You gotta hang on and take it. - I can't. 274 00:27:14,438 --> 00:27:17,892 - The camp's coming up. - Shit! 275 00:27:33,199 --> 00:27:35,284 You are welcome! 276 00:27:36,911 --> 00:27:39,529 We have food! We have drink! 277 00:27:39,629 --> 00:27:41,706 You got a toilet? 278 00:27:46,586 --> 00:27:48,880 So how big is this jewel? 279 00:27:54,595 --> 00:27:57,673 Very, very big. Very big. Very, very big. 280 00:27:57,773 --> 00:27:58,933 Very big. 281 00:28:00,101 --> 00:28:02,811 It's as big as this orange? 282 00:28:10,568 --> 00:28:14,447 - It's as big as an orange. - The Jewel is the heart of our people. 283 00:28:14,614 --> 00:28:17,025 Omar steals the heart of our people. 284 00:28:17,125 --> 00:28:19,411 - Omar is thief. - Omar is very bad man. 285 00:28:19,744 --> 00:28:22,739 Before Omar steal Jewel, everything good. 286 00:28:22,839 --> 00:28:24,748 Now everything is shit! 287 00:28:33,382 --> 00:28:38,129 You help us find the Jewel, and we give you great reward. 288 00:28:38,229 --> 00:28:41,558 But if you lie to us, you die. 289 00:28:43,309 --> 00:28:45,270 But now we dance! 290 00:29:20,262 --> 00:29:22,339 Look at these guys, Colton. 291 00:29:22,439 --> 00:29:24,516 No sheep is safe tonight. 292 00:29:35,943 --> 00:29:39,772 We split it right down the middle, Colton. 50-50. 293 00:29:39,872 --> 00:29:41,941 What are you talking about? 294 00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:44,569 Don't play stupid with me, partner. 295 00:29:44,669 --> 00:29:46,529 The Jewel. 296 00:29:46,629 --> 00:29:49,415 And don't you even think of messing with me. 297 00:29:55,088 --> 00:29:58,999 Oh, what's that I hear? A heart breaking? You sap! 298 00:29:59,099 --> 00:30:00,960 Keep your mind on business. 299 00:30:01,060 --> 00:30:05,640 You'll wind up getting yourself killed over some broad who dumped you. 300 00:30:07,517 --> 00:30:08,917 Jewels! 301 00:30:09,268 --> 00:30:11,068 Oh, Omar! 302 00:30:40,298 --> 00:30:42,844 I want you lot to be careful! 303 00:30:43,594 --> 00:30:48,715 See that word "Fragile" on the side? It means don't drop... Why don't you listen? 304 00:30:48,815 --> 00:30:53,553 I might love your country, your culture, and even your people! That means I love you! 305 00:30:53,653 --> 00:30:57,441 But you drop one more of my boxes, and I'll smash your bloody face in! 306 00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:04,898 You tell Omar, right - Omar - that his special-effects wizard has arrived! 307 00:31:04,998 --> 00:31:07,075 Come on, then. 308 00:32:33,326 --> 00:32:36,204 War plans? Oh, my God! What is he up to? 309 00:32:41,751 --> 00:32:44,503 Wait till Time magazine sees this. 310 00:33:08,986 --> 00:33:11,480 You bastard! You burnt my hand! 311 00:33:11,580 --> 00:33:16,526 I didn't say it wouldn't burn. I said it wouldn't hurt! There's no blistering. 312 00:33:16,626 --> 00:33:21,114 - I've done it hundreds of times on stage. - This is not a cheap theatrical stunt! 313 00:33:21,214 --> 00:33:26,495 - It's a miracle! My people have to believe it! - Omar, trust me. Trust what I've got to say. 314 00:33:26,595 --> 00:33:31,540 Look, if I can make gods out of rock'n'roll stars, imagine what I can do for you. 315 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,587 For your information, I am not a rock'n'roll star! 316 00:33:35,687 --> 00:33:38,966 The people must believe I have the same powers as the Jewel. 317 00:33:39,066 --> 00:33:41,385 Come! I want to see him now. 318 00:33:41,485 --> 00:33:45,689 If it weren't for the Jewel, I'd have led my people to power long ago. 319 00:33:55,073 --> 00:34:00,111 Westerners understand nothing. The Jewel represents the spiritual world of my people. 320 00:34:00,211 --> 00:34:04,782 Unless I convince them I am their spiritual leader, they will never follow me into battle. 321 00:34:04,882 --> 00:34:06,959 That is why you are here. 322 00:34:31,901 --> 00:34:36,030 - Tell me how it's done, magician. - It's not magic trick. It's miracle. 323 00:34:37,323 --> 00:34:39,691 I am losing patience with you. 324 00:34:39,791 --> 00:34:43,737 But you cannot kill me. Even you are superstitious. 325 00:34:43,837 --> 00:34:46,489 Al-Jawhara lives. 326 00:34:46,589 --> 00:34:49,668 Two nights from now it will not matter. 327 00:35:05,267 --> 00:35:06,667 Oh, no. 328 00:35:11,606 --> 00:35:13,206 A woman? 329 00:35:13,859 --> 00:35:16,895 - Most unexpected. - I gotta get outta here. 330 00:35:16,995 --> 00:35:19,072 I gotta stop Omar. 331 00:35:19,323 --> 00:35:22,108 Did you bring an army? 332 00:35:22,208 --> 00:35:26,412 - No. I'm just Joan Wilder. - Just-Joan Wilder, I'm Al-Jawhara. 333 00:35:29,206 --> 00:35:31,667 The Jewel of the Nile. 334 00:35:32,001 --> 00:35:34,328 I don't understand. 335 00:35:34,428 --> 00:35:37,790 - You are the Jewel?! - Yes. For the moment. 336 00:35:37,890 --> 00:35:42,796 In two nights at the holy city of Kadir Omar will proclaim himself Emperor. 337 00:35:42,896 --> 00:35:46,933 Without me to oppose him, he'll march across North Africa like a madman. 338 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,387 But the world will see me as the saviour of my people. 339 00:35:51,487 --> 00:35:56,350 No, it won't. The world won't believe you. I've been in your office and seen your vision. 340 00:35:56,450 --> 00:35:58,819 - I'll write the truth about you. - The truth? 341 00:35:59,153 --> 00:36:02,189 If I wanted the truth, I would have hired 60 Minutes. 342 00:36:02,289 --> 00:36:05,317 What do you know about truth? You fantasise everything. 343 00:36:05,417 --> 00:36:10,831 Why do you think I brought you here? You stay here and write what I tell you to write! 344 00:36:12,458 --> 00:36:16,628 - You think no one knows I'm here? - Oh, yes, Jack! I forgot to tell you. 345 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,422 Jack is dead. 346 00:36:20,382 --> 00:36:24,220 Don't be ridiculous. Jack would never die without telling me. 347 00:36:24,553 --> 00:36:26,639 Nevertheless, he is dead. 348 00:36:33,562 --> 00:36:38,233 You look pale, Miss Wilder. I'll send you my personal physician. 349 00:36:44,614 --> 00:36:47,033 It can't be true. 350 00:36:52,497 --> 00:36:56,167 This Jack... He is friend for you? 351 00:36:57,669 --> 00:36:58,669 Yes. 352 00:36:59,503 --> 00:37:01,588 He is my best friend. 353 00:37:14,519 --> 00:37:17,022 What? I don't see shit! 354 00:37:18,189 --> 00:37:20,183 We must stop here. 355 00:37:20,283 --> 00:37:23,319 It is dangerous for Sufis to enter Omar's city. 356 00:37:23,902 --> 00:37:26,613 Now, wait. He's already tried to kill me once. 357 00:37:28,782 --> 00:37:31,076 You are guest of Omar. 358 00:37:31,660 --> 00:37:34,788 Find for us the Jewel. Accept your destiny. 359 00:37:36,248 --> 00:37:39,126 Destiny, my ass! Excuse me. 360 00:37:40,294 --> 00:37:43,038 When you hook up with jujubes, see what happens. 361 00:37:43,138 --> 00:37:46,092 Just take your lead from me, and we'll be fine. 362 00:37:47,551 --> 00:37:52,005 - We gonna walk through the centre of town? - I'm gonna put you up a camel's ass. 363 00:37:52,105 --> 00:37:53,766 I might like it. 364 00:37:59,396 --> 00:38:01,974 - What are you doing? - In one of my books, 365 00:38:02,074 --> 00:38:04,142 Angelina's Savage Secret, 366 00:38:04,242 --> 00:38:08,906 she used her nailfile to cut the mortar away from the window box. 367 00:38:09,448 --> 00:38:11,566 How long did this take? 368 00:38:11,666 --> 00:38:13,609 Two pages. 369 00:38:13,709 --> 00:38:18,322 But... it's not the bars that make the prison. It is the desert. 370 00:38:18,422 --> 00:38:22,243 So I'll travel at night. I don't care. I have to stop Omar. 371 00:38:22,343 --> 00:38:25,079 I gotta get out to write the truth about him. 372 00:38:25,179 --> 00:38:27,256 I have to get to Kadir. 373 00:38:27,799 --> 00:38:31,253 Wait a minute. You are the one that has to get to Kadir. 374 00:38:31,353 --> 00:38:34,681 You are the only one that can stop Omar. You have to go with me! 375 00:38:37,433 --> 00:38:39,727 Maybe you are the one. 376 00:38:41,813 --> 00:38:43,272 I accept. 377 00:38:43,648 --> 00:38:45,733 We are sworn, Just-Joan. 378 00:38:47,777 --> 00:38:51,063 - Right. But it's just Joan. - Right. Just-Joan. 379 00:38:51,163 --> 00:38:54,826 - Right. We just have to get out this window. - Please. 380 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,000 - Magic! - Dry rot. 381 00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:11,092 I bet you could pick up a swell three-bedroom town house here for about five or six dollars. 382 00:39:14,053 --> 00:39:15,796 Hi. My name is Colton. 383 00:39:15,896 --> 00:39:19,600 I've been invited by your Omar. I'm here to see Joan Wilder. 384 00:39:22,436 --> 00:39:24,930 Hey, Rachid! How are you? Good to see you again. 385 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:27,232 Joan Wilder does not want to see you. 386 00:39:31,528 --> 00:39:34,740 Well, now, Rachid, I don't think you understand. 387 00:39:36,325 --> 00:39:40,820 We're here on official business. This is Mr... Fatush from the US Embassy. 388 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:45,041 He's got something very important to talk to all you guys about. 389 00:39:49,420 --> 00:39:52,748 Look, we don't want to create an international incident here. 390 00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:55,961 I mean, after all, she is an American citizen. 391 00:39:56,061 --> 00:40:00,223 If you'll just let us see her, no paperwork. Mum's the word. Everything... 392 00:40:02,768 --> 00:40:06,263 Guys, no sweat, OK? We'll catch you next time we're in town. 393 00:40:06,363 --> 00:40:08,681 - Take it easy. - Say hello to her for us. 394 00:40:08,781 --> 00:40:12,526 You know what they say: Once they've had a holy man, they never go back. 395 00:40:13,110 --> 00:40:17,323 - Quickly, Just-Joan! - Are you sure you know where you're going? 396 00:40:22,578 --> 00:40:25,614 Those guys can go for hours without coming up for air. 397 00:40:25,714 --> 00:40:29,785 Ease up, will ya? All right, there's gotta be another way in here. 398 00:40:29,885 --> 00:40:35,708 I can't wait for another smooth move. How about us at the back door in pussycat suits? 399 00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:39,670 - When they come with the milk... - How about you takin' it in the ear!? 400 00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:42,974 Look, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be on to this. 401 00:40:43,182 --> 00:40:46,093 Subsequently I should shoot you the first chance I get! 402 00:40:46,193 --> 00:40:47,193 Jack! 403 00:40:48,145 --> 00:40:50,222 You're alive! 404 00:40:50,322 --> 00:40:52,474 Kinda goin' outta your way to duck me! 405 00:40:52,574 --> 00:40:54,943 You bastard! 406 00:41:03,535 --> 00:41:06,404 Oh, Jack! I thought I'd never see you again. 407 00:41:06,504 --> 00:41:10,458 They told me you were dead. I never wanna feel that way again. 408 00:41:10,917 --> 00:41:13,703 Does this mean you apologise? 409 00:41:13,803 --> 00:41:17,957 I feel like I'm back in eighth grade. Is this The Young and the Stupid? 410 00:41:18,057 --> 00:41:22,420 - What the hell is he doing here? - Don't get cagey with me. I'm on to it. 411 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,597 I know how you two operate. 412 00:41:27,017 --> 00:41:30,145 I'll get in there with or without you dinks! 413 00:41:38,945 --> 00:41:44,024 Hey, look, guys! Lighten up! I'm only saying hello to an old girlfriend here! 414 00:41:44,124 --> 00:41:47,861 - Just-Joan, we need to go! - Wait a minute, who's this guy? 415 00:41:47,961 --> 00:41:51,290 - He's a friend. - You made friends in there? 416 00:42:07,598 --> 00:42:10,559 - OK. Let's go, come on! - Wait. He's coming with us. 417 00:42:11,727 --> 00:42:15,514 Don't start with me! I've come halfway across Africa to rescue you. 418 00:42:15,614 --> 00:42:18,400 Rescue me? I was doing fine without you. 419 00:42:20,194 --> 00:42:23,522 - I am guide. I can help. - I don't need a guide. I need a miracle! 420 00:42:23,622 --> 00:42:25,699 Jack, he's coming with us. 421 00:42:29,494 --> 00:42:33,781 All right. But if we get out of this alive, I'm gonna kill you. 422 00:42:33,881 --> 00:42:35,333 Let's go. 423 00:43:10,118 --> 00:43:12,695 - Who are you? - Is this where Al Jolson's buried? 424 00:43:12,795 --> 00:43:15,530 - Who the hell are you? - Don't provoke me, pal! 425 00:43:15,630 --> 00:43:20,210 I had a tough day. You know how hot it is here? It's 120ยบ in the shade. 426 00:43:22,337 --> 00:43:25,717 I'm like this with Weinberger. We'll be all over you! 427 00:43:33,683 --> 00:43:35,560 Let me in! 428 00:43:37,644 --> 00:43:39,771 Holy shit and shove me in it. 429 00:44:12,137 --> 00:44:14,222 Oh, no. Over the wall! 430 00:44:48,088 --> 00:44:50,466 Excuse me. Excuse me. 431 00:44:54,345 --> 00:44:55,945 Come on! 432 00:44:56,305 --> 00:44:57,705 No! No! 433 00:45:02,645 --> 00:45:05,690 OK, flyboy, your estimated time of departure is now! 434 00:45:24,416 --> 00:45:27,377 - What are you doing? - I'm not doing anything! 435 00:45:28,420 --> 00:45:32,008 - Well, do something! - All right. I'm trying! 436 00:45:35,176 --> 00:45:37,554 I mean, this isn't Space Invaders! 437 00:45:43,643 --> 00:45:46,563 - Jack, the wall! - Oh, no! 438 00:46:26,977 --> 00:46:31,148 - It is Space Invaders! - That'll show 'em! 439 00:46:40,908 --> 00:46:42,826 All right, yeah! 440 00:46:43,577 --> 00:46:45,377 Oh, shit! 441 00:46:48,456 --> 00:46:50,541 Let's get outta here! 442 00:47:06,225 --> 00:47:08,309 This is gonna be tight! 443 00:47:13,231 --> 00:47:15,483 This is my first time in airplane. 444 00:47:28,162 --> 00:47:30,498 How do you stop this thing? 445 00:47:36,837 --> 00:47:38,037 Sorry! 446 00:47:46,973 --> 00:47:49,809 - Do you know where you're going? - Give me a break! 447 00:48:34,686 --> 00:48:37,522 - Your friend steal the Jewel. - What? 448 00:48:42,193 --> 00:48:45,279 - You! You are liar to me! - No! 449 00:48:45,738 --> 00:48:48,032 I come back and you're dead! 450 00:48:53,037 --> 00:48:56,198 You thieving bastard! You ain't stiffin' me again! 451 00:48:56,298 --> 00:48:59,669 I promise ya. I'll feed ya to the maggots! I'll get... 452 00:49:59,269 --> 00:50:01,137 Great! We're out of quarters. 453 00:50:01,237 --> 00:50:03,356 Well, try that one there. 454 00:50:08,945 --> 00:50:10,745 Now what? 455 00:50:11,489 --> 00:50:13,089 Damn it! 456 00:50:23,334 --> 00:50:24,334 Yes! 457 00:50:25,919 --> 00:50:28,590 Hey, that's not bad for your first time. 458 00:51:02,956 --> 00:51:05,074 Come on, we'll get him. We'll get him. 459 00:51:05,174 --> 00:51:07,710 Colton, you ain't gettin' away. 460 00:51:28,648 --> 00:51:30,733 Where the hell's the horn? 461 00:51:31,985 --> 00:51:34,737 Get outta here! Get out of the way! 462 00:51:52,921 --> 00:51:54,382 Sandstorm. 463 00:52:04,350 --> 00:52:05,350 Stop! 464 00:52:07,312 --> 00:52:09,689 What are you gonna do? 465 00:52:11,232 --> 00:52:13,817 Either save us or kill us. Hang on! 466 00:53:15,044 --> 00:53:17,998 - Now you are dead. - No! Don't cut off my head! 467 00:53:18,098 --> 00:53:22,126 - You stole our jewel. - It was the mook! He's always screwin' me. 468 00:53:22,226 --> 00:53:25,179 I swear to God on my eyes I never seen that jewel! 469 00:53:26,806 --> 00:53:29,425 No, wait, wait! 470 00:53:29,525 --> 00:53:32,052 You need me. I can help you find him. 471 00:53:32,152 --> 00:53:37,057 - You are his friend. - No! No friend. Stop saying that. 472 00:53:37,157 --> 00:53:39,476 Friends don't stab each other in the back. 473 00:53:39,576 --> 00:53:44,189 Come on. Look, we'll team up. We'll find him, we'll get him good. 474 00:53:44,289 --> 00:53:48,576 He knows that I will not be denied! Colton's future is bleak! 475 00:53:49,244 --> 00:53:51,329 Very bleak! 476 00:53:54,291 --> 00:53:56,159 Any idea where we are? 477 00:53:56,259 --> 00:54:01,207 The best I can figure out is that we head due east. We should make it to the border. 478 00:54:01,307 --> 00:54:06,887 - Well... is that the way to Kadir? - La. Kadir is in the west, over that mountain. 479 00:54:07,013 --> 00:54:10,548 Well, the best of luck to you, pal. Joan, let's get going. 480 00:54:10,648 --> 00:54:12,809 Jack, we have to take him to Kadir. 481 00:54:14,102 --> 00:54:17,555 What are you talkin' about? We got him out, like you said. Come on. 482 00:54:17,655 --> 00:54:20,775 We swore an oath, Just-Joan and I. We go to Kadir. 483 00:54:22,277 --> 00:54:24,771 What is it with you?! 484 00:54:24,871 --> 00:54:29,567 Jesus! Everything's always gotta be your way? It's just like the goddamn boat! 485 00:54:29,667 --> 00:54:34,071 What do you mean "my way"? It wasn't my idea to spend six months on your boat! 486 00:54:34,171 --> 00:54:38,626 - Oh, debate good. I enjoy. - OK, let me tell you what I put up with. 487 00:54:39,001 --> 00:54:43,248 We're moored off the Canary Islands. Midnight, sound asleep. 488 00:54:43,348 --> 00:54:45,959 Three crazed Joan Wilder fans 489 00:54:46,059 --> 00:54:49,504 decide they want the anchor of the Angelina for a souvenir! 490 00:54:49,604 --> 00:54:55,009 - We were drifting for days! And the other... - Stop. I'm sorry. It's time for Just-Joan. 491 00:54:55,109 --> 00:54:58,262 - Remember the Costa del Sol, Jack? - Oh, come on! 492 00:54:58,362 --> 00:55:01,181 He's gotta meet me at the governor's for dinner. 493 00:55:01,281 --> 00:55:06,228 And you show up with the entire national basketball team! 494 00:55:06,328 --> 00:55:08,188 They were hungry. 495 00:55:08,288 --> 00:55:11,900 This is what I'm talking about. Sometimes you could think about me. 496 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:16,238 Oh, I suppose you were thinking all about me when you took off with Omar? 497 00:55:16,338 --> 00:55:18,407 - He blew up my boat! - Our boat? 498 00:55:18,507 --> 00:55:22,368 - Oh, now it's our boat? - Good debate. It's equal, no winners. 499 00:55:22,468 --> 00:55:25,747 - Just-Joan, we must hurry. - Wait. He blew up our boat? 500 00:55:25,847 --> 00:55:29,093 Why are you risking your life for this guy? 501 00:55:30,427 --> 00:55:34,264 I made a commitment. I can't break it. 502 00:55:38,143 --> 00:55:39,943 OK. Fine. 503 00:55:40,896 --> 00:55:44,682 But I'm gonna tell you the truth. I didn't come here for you anyway. No! 504 00:55:44,782 --> 00:55:47,860 I'm on to something big. 505 00:55:48,486 --> 00:55:53,491 - A jewel. The Jewel of the Nile. - Come with us. I am Jawhara! 506 00:55:54,492 --> 00:55:57,787 - That means Joe. - Thanks, Joe, but no thanks. 507 00:55:58,246 --> 00:56:01,249 I wouldn't want her to break her commitment. 508 00:56:01,958 --> 00:56:04,043 Oh, Jack... 509 00:56:04,460 --> 00:56:06,060 Come on. 510 00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:46,918 That's for the Angelina. 511 00:56:48,045 --> 00:56:50,131 I still owe you for Joan. 512 00:56:53,717 --> 00:56:58,388 Oh, no. Oh, God. Please, let me get out of this alive. 513 00:56:58,513 --> 00:57:02,517 I swear to God I'll be a good boy from tomorrow on. 514 00:57:08,023 --> 00:57:10,108 But tonight I gotta kill Colton. 515 00:57:23,913 --> 00:57:26,332 Heydi Joan Wilder! 516 00:57:40,429 --> 00:57:44,183 - Why you didn't tell your friend about me? - Oh, I know him. 517 00:57:44,767 --> 00:57:49,221 He'd go halfway round the world for a party. He wouldn't cross town for a noble cause. 518 00:57:49,321 --> 00:57:53,267 - People can surprise you. - No, he's just Jack. He'll never change. 519 00:57:53,367 --> 00:57:55,159 Like a... 520 00:57:56,028 --> 00:57:58,147 Like a stone. 521 00:57:58,247 --> 00:58:01,993 It's always a stone. Open your hand. 522 00:58:03,243 --> 00:58:06,496 Change is not always visible. 523 00:58:06,663 --> 00:58:09,824 - Let's show some hustle! - What? 524 00:58:09,924 --> 00:58:13,878 Your buddy Omar! What is it? He can't live without you? 525 00:58:17,717 --> 00:58:20,553 - Are we jogging? - We are jogging. 526 00:58:33,315 --> 00:58:35,817 Greece is looking better and better. 527 00:58:44,868 --> 00:58:46,668 Oh, shit! 528 00:58:48,413 --> 00:58:51,332 Just tell me why this guy wants you so bad. 529 00:58:52,249 --> 00:58:54,701 - Hey, Joe, where you going? - This way. 530 00:58:54,801 --> 00:58:58,122 - You gotta be kidding. - He knows the mountains better than you. 531 00:58:58,222 --> 00:59:00,291 Joan, will you give me a break? 532 00:59:00,391 --> 00:59:02,802 America - democracy. We vote, huh? 533 00:59:57,314 --> 00:59:58,314 Stop! 534 01:00:11,411 --> 01:00:13,496 Hurry up. Let's go! 535 01:00:14,414 --> 01:00:15,665 Get down! 536 01:00:19,919 --> 01:00:22,006 It's a black day for democracy. 537 01:00:23,423 --> 01:00:27,468 - Do not worry. It's not my destiny to die here. - What about us? 538 01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:31,264 That's another ball game. 539 01:00:40,231 --> 01:00:41,631 Rachid! 540 01:00:46,446 --> 01:00:48,647 Joan Wilder! 541 01:00:48,747 --> 01:00:51,116 I wish no harm to you! 542 01:00:51,533 --> 01:00:54,119 I'm your friend! Your fan! 543 01:00:54,661 --> 01:00:56,863 Please surrender! 544 01:00:56,963 --> 01:01:01,117 What did you do for this guy Omar you never did for me? 545 01:01:01,217 --> 01:01:03,295 Bloody bitch! 546 01:01:13,013 --> 01:01:15,098 Oh, shit! Look out! 547 01:01:47,297 --> 01:01:49,466 Hey, Omar! Eat rocks! 548 01:01:51,385 --> 01:01:52,886 Let's go. 549 01:02:21,663 --> 01:02:23,748 I got something. 550 01:02:27,836 --> 01:02:29,436 Nubians. 551 01:02:30,089 --> 01:02:32,425 I was hoping to avoid them. 552 01:02:39,473 --> 01:02:41,559 Sell any books here? 553 01:02:44,894 --> 01:02:48,556 - Main man! Hey, my man! - What are you so happy about? 554 01:02:48,656 --> 01:02:52,902 Just keep smiling. Maybe they'll think we're from National Geographic. 555 01:02:59,075 --> 01:03:01,161 Hey! How ya doin'? 556 01:03:32,399 --> 01:03:35,519 He says it's many days' long trip over high mountains. 557 01:03:35,619 --> 01:03:38,238 And he wishes us a very pleasant journey. 558 01:03:40,324 --> 01:03:42,324 Thank you. 559 01:03:42,743 --> 01:03:46,864 All right. Thank you, guys. Catch you next time. Goodbye. 560 01:03:46,964 --> 01:03:49,041 Come on, Jack. 561 01:03:51,752 --> 01:03:57,967 Ah, Mr Jack! Just-Joan! The Chief's son, he wishes to make a blessing for your marriage. 562 01:04:00,094 --> 01:04:02,554 We're not married. 563 01:04:23,199 --> 01:04:28,496 He says, because you are not married, that his son wishes to court you. 564 01:04:28,913 --> 01:04:31,416 - Oh, I just... - Oh, no, that's... 565 01:04:32,458 --> 01:04:36,755 That's very nice, but the lady is... She's with me. 566 01:04:42,969 --> 01:04:48,266 He says that because there is more than one suitor, that you must wrestle his son. 567 01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,685 I gotta wrestle his son? 568 01:04:55,773 --> 01:04:57,859 How ya doin'? 569 01:05:01,487 --> 01:05:03,573 OK. This one I think I can handle. 570 01:05:04,239 --> 01:05:05,239 OK! 571 01:05:10,954 --> 01:05:11,954 No? 572 01:05:12,789 --> 01:05:15,789 Hussein! 573 01:05:34,811 --> 01:05:38,565 Wait a minute, guys. Let's talk this over like gentlemen! 574 01:05:41,151 --> 01:05:43,603 All right. You guys are with me, huh? 575 01:05:43,703 --> 01:05:45,647 Yeah, me. All right. 576 01:05:45,747 --> 01:05:49,734 Do me a favour. Tell him we lived together for six months. Shit. 577 01:05:49,834 --> 01:05:52,161 All right, what are the rules? 578 01:06:16,644 --> 01:06:17,844 Right. 579 01:06:30,408 --> 01:06:32,410 I'm sorry about that. 580 01:06:35,162 --> 01:06:37,415 No, not the left one! No! 581 01:06:41,501 --> 01:06:44,371 No pain, no gain. 582 01:06:44,471 --> 01:06:46,463 Let me go! 583 01:06:53,097 --> 01:06:55,182 - No! - Can we talk about this? 584 01:06:56,142 --> 01:06:57,742 Stop it! 585 01:06:58,728 --> 01:07:00,813 We have to do something! 586 01:07:01,521 --> 01:07:03,607 I am doing something. 587 01:07:24,753 --> 01:07:26,838 Joe, he's... 588 01:08:30,484 --> 01:08:34,737 - That was great! - Great, huh? I could've gotten killed! 589 01:09:31,293 --> 01:09:35,840 This is the marriage dance. In this tribe, the women, they choose the man. 590 01:09:36,215 --> 01:09:40,628 And then, according to the custom, they will be together for life. 591 01:09:40,728 --> 01:09:43,089 They get all that from one dance? 592 01:09:43,189 --> 01:09:44,849 It's beautiful! 593 01:09:50,312 --> 01:09:55,108 Ralph, if you want to be one of us, take off your shoes and socks. 594 01:09:55,943 --> 01:09:59,688 If you want to be one of us, you must see with the eyes of your heart, 595 01:09:59,788 --> 01:10:02,566 - not with the eyes of your head. - Gotcha, yeah. 596 01:10:02,666 --> 01:10:05,902 Your heart will never give you fear or pain - 597 01:10:06,002 --> 01:10:08,080 if you know our way. 598 01:10:10,247 --> 01:10:11,447 Ralph. 599 01:10:11,999 --> 01:10:15,328 No, thanks, pal. Keep your friggin' jewel. 600 01:10:15,428 --> 01:10:17,506 - No! - Are you afraid? 601 01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:20,300 I just had my feet resoled. 602 01:10:20,592 --> 01:10:24,754 - What is the worst that can happen to you? - I could wind up a Chicken McNugget. 603 01:10:24,854 --> 01:10:30,719 - What is the best that could happen to you? - I could get through this and find the Jewel. 604 01:10:30,819 --> 01:10:32,887 It's your choice. 605 01:10:32,987 --> 01:10:34,979 Look down. 606 01:10:38,985 --> 01:10:40,653 Hot coals! 607 01:10:44,365 --> 01:10:46,492 I did it! I did it! I'm one of us! 608 01:11:14,020 --> 01:11:16,105 All right! Yeah! 609 01:11:41,756 --> 01:11:44,257 Your fears - they make you foolish. 610 01:11:51,306 --> 01:11:53,391 Go to her, Jack. 611 01:13:15,555 --> 01:13:19,509 - I'm sorry I got people shooting at you again. - You kidding? 612 01:13:19,609 --> 01:13:22,929 We're the perfect couple when we got people shooting at us. 613 01:13:23,029 --> 01:13:27,725 - Just the slow times I'm not too good at. - I guess I just expect too much. 614 01:13:27,825 --> 01:13:29,902 Maybe we both expect too much. 615 01:13:33,114 --> 01:13:34,714 Oh, boy. 616 01:13:36,909 --> 01:13:39,328 Thank you for coming to Kadir with me. 617 01:14:07,397 --> 01:14:09,900 This valley is gift of the Nile. 618 01:14:18,533 --> 01:14:20,702 I've been away from here too long. 619 01:14:25,040 --> 01:14:28,702 You know, I'm getting to like this guy Joe. He's growing on me. 620 01:14:28,802 --> 01:14:32,122 What do you say we cut him in on this jewel, if we ever find it? 621 01:14:32,222 --> 01:14:33,614 Jack... 622 01:14:35,092 --> 01:14:37,177 We have the Jewel. 623 01:14:38,178 --> 01:14:40,347 What are you talking about? Where? 624 01:14:40,931 --> 01:14:43,225 Well, there. 625 01:14:46,895 --> 01:14:48,981 - What, Joe's got the Jewel? - No. 626 01:14:50,439 --> 01:14:52,525 Joe is the Jewel. 627 01:14:56,195 --> 01:14:58,397 Joe is the Jewel of the Nile? 628 01:14:58,497 --> 01:15:02,660 He's a holy man. That's his religious title. 629 01:15:04,787 --> 01:15:07,081 Joe is the Jewel. 630 01:15:14,964 --> 01:15:18,751 Why didn't you tell me the truth? Why'd you keep it from me? 631 01:15:18,851 --> 01:15:21,962 Because I thought if you knew, you wouldn't come with us. 632 01:15:22,062 --> 01:15:24,140 Maybe I would've surprised you. 633 01:15:25,016 --> 01:15:29,011 I think I've come through once or twice, if I remember right. 634 01:15:29,111 --> 01:15:31,103 I'm sorry. 635 01:15:31,897 --> 01:15:34,817 You're right. You come through all the time. 636 01:15:42,407 --> 01:15:44,492 It's funny. 637 01:15:45,535 --> 01:15:48,038 I really thought we had a chance. 638 01:16:03,094 --> 01:16:05,088 Look! The train to Kadir! 639 01:16:05,188 --> 01:16:08,383 Come on, Jack. Inshallah, we'll be there tonight. 640 01:16:08,483 --> 01:16:12,637 - What a lot of people! - They are going to see the false redeemer. 641 01:16:12,737 --> 01:16:16,066 - Omar again, huh? - We'll see about that. 642 01:16:52,017 --> 01:16:53,017 Shit! 643 01:18:04,005 --> 01:18:06,090 What are you doing? 644 01:18:06,549 --> 01:18:08,149 Come on! 645 01:18:09,093 --> 01:18:10,093 Jump! 646 01:18:14,432 --> 01:18:15,432 No! 647 01:18:46,713 --> 01:18:48,799 No! Hang on, Joan! 648 01:19:07,608 --> 01:19:09,268 Jack, watch out! 649 01:19:09,368 --> 01:19:10,760 It's... 650 01:19:39,807 --> 01:19:43,603 Guys, wait up! Come on, Humphrey. Go, go, go! 651 01:19:53,029 --> 01:19:55,230 Do something! 652 01:19:55,330 --> 01:19:57,407 What do you want me to do? 653 01:21:30,164 --> 01:21:31,564 Colton! 654 01:21:33,460 --> 01:21:36,830 Your ass is grass, and I'm a lawn mower, Colton! 655 01:21:36,930 --> 01:21:39,758 Colton, I'll get you! Colton, I'm on to ya! 656 01:22:13,207 --> 01:22:14,607 Colton. 657 01:23:10,347 --> 01:23:12,432 All right, yeah! 658 01:23:14,893 --> 01:23:18,146 All right! Let's go, come on. Let's get out of here! 659 01:23:24,986 --> 01:23:27,071 Just-Joan, you're gre... 660 01:23:28,906 --> 01:23:30,506 Welcome. 661 01:23:30,866 --> 01:23:35,997 I don't usually travel by train, but I had a small accident with my helicopter. 662 01:23:49,302 --> 01:23:51,596 May we reach Kadir in time. 663 01:24:14,451 --> 01:24:18,496 Once we get inside, we must find the entrance to the catacombs. 664 01:24:19,372 --> 01:24:21,450 T-shirts! Buy T-shirts! 665 01:24:21,550 --> 01:24:26,005 Gimme the T-shirt. I'll buy it, I'll buy it. Get outta here, will ya? 666 01:24:46,274 --> 01:24:50,153 You know, I really admire your loyalty to each other. 667 01:24:50,862 --> 01:24:54,774 And I'm going to give you a chance to be together to the very end. 668 01:24:54,874 --> 01:24:56,734 Well, not exactly. 669 01:24:56,834 --> 01:24:59,954 One will watch the other die. 670 01:25:05,085 --> 01:25:07,170 But which one? 671 01:25:08,838 --> 01:25:10,238 Rachid. 672 01:25:12,634 --> 01:25:15,879 - Is that the goat's blood? - Yes. 673 01:25:15,979 --> 01:25:20,058 Very popular with the inhabitants of these catacombs. 674 01:25:20,517 --> 01:25:24,770 - Rats. - Yes. They eat until they get the last drop. 675 01:25:25,145 --> 01:25:28,190 But don't worry, Mr Colton. You won't be alone. 676 01:25:28,983 --> 01:25:34,104 Rachid is now placing acid that will eat through Miss Wilder's rope. 677 01:25:34,204 --> 01:25:37,116 What kind of sick pervert would go to this trouble? 678 01:25:37,575 --> 01:25:39,568 - Why don't you shoot us?! - Jack! 679 01:25:39,668 --> 01:25:43,581 What kind of demented psychopath would even think of this? 680 01:25:43,789 --> 01:25:46,292 - The Savage Secret. - What? 681 01:25:47,459 --> 01:25:49,336 Was my biggest seller. 682 01:25:53,591 --> 01:25:58,220 Think about this pit as your last adventure, Joan Wilder. 683 01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:01,974 My people await me. 684 01:26:22,160 --> 01:26:25,696 What you talkin' about? I work with professional people. 685 01:26:25,796 --> 01:26:29,793 You tell His Highness the show starts with him or without him. 686 01:26:37,508 --> 01:26:41,671 Goddamn beanie convention. Wind up goin' home with a rug. 687 01:26:41,771 --> 01:26:43,848 The entrance! 688 01:26:54,983 --> 01:26:57,277 Give me a red to the yellow. And cue! 689 01:26:59,154 --> 01:27:01,698 I said give me a red gel down there! 690 01:27:07,579 --> 01:27:10,624 And cue! For Gawd's sake, cue! 691 01:27:35,232 --> 01:27:38,235 Build it, build it softly. And give me some smoke. 692 01:28:08,598 --> 01:28:13,019 That's good, that's good, that's very good. Now, bring it up slowly. 693 01:29:30,220 --> 01:29:32,672 There are many rooms and many ways. 694 01:29:32,772 --> 01:29:34,966 You! You go this way. 695 01:29:35,066 --> 01:29:37,343 And, you! You go this way. 696 01:29:37,443 --> 01:29:39,895 And we: We go this way. 697 01:30:00,959 --> 01:30:03,043 Boy, it stinks in this place. 698 01:30:07,381 --> 01:30:10,000 What looks good, amigo? 699 01:30:10,100 --> 01:30:13,962 You go from this way. And... I go this way. 700 01:30:14,062 --> 01:30:16,054 All right. 701 01:30:17,141 --> 01:30:19,018 What a fruit loop. 702 01:30:20,561 --> 01:30:22,638 - How'd they get out? - What? 703 01:30:22,738 --> 01:30:25,690 In The Savage Secret, how'd they get out? 704 01:30:27,525 --> 01:30:30,403 Jesse had a knife hidden in his boot. 705 01:30:31,696 --> 01:30:34,690 You wouldn't happen to have a knife, would ya? 706 01:30:34,790 --> 01:30:37,827 - I'm not even wearing underwear. - Great! 707 01:30:38,953 --> 01:30:39,953 No! 708 01:31:00,266 --> 01:31:02,969 We were good together, weren't we, Joan Wilder? 709 01:31:03,069 --> 01:31:04,861 The best. 710 01:31:05,313 --> 01:31:08,233 - And we're gonna make it. - Yeah. 711 01:31:11,569 --> 01:31:13,979 Oh, God. I love you, lady. 712 01:31:14,079 --> 01:31:15,989 I love you, Jack. 713 01:31:16,323 --> 01:31:18,408 Will you marry me? 714 01:31:19,701 --> 01:31:22,996 - Yes! - Because I never want you leaving me again. 715 01:31:23,705 --> 01:31:27,710 You're not just saying that because this is it, are you? 716 01:31:29,420 --> 01:31:33,466 I'm saying it because I'm not afraid to say it any more. 717 01:31:47,729 --> 01:31:51,024 So where do you wanna go on our honeymoon? 718 01:32:12,504 --> 01:32:16,675 Rats! Get out of here, you... Goddamn rat farm! Go on! 719 01:32:17,050 --> 01:32:22,763 - Ralph! Get us out of here, will ya? - Ah! And there's the biggest rat of all. 720 01:32:23,681 --> 01:32:25,766 Colton, look at you. You... 721 01:32:26,726 --> 01:32:29,345 You don't know how many nights I dreamed of this. 722 01:32:29,445 --> 01:32:34,850 - Except your flesh was torn off your body. - Ralph, please, just help us down. 723 01:32:34,950 --> 01:32:37,028 Jack! Hold on! 724 01:32:38,321 --> 01:32:41,065 Well, well, well, Colton. 725 01:32:41,165 --> 01:32:45,610 I think this calls for a renegotiation. Don't you, Tarzan? Huh? 726 01:32:45,710 --> 01:32:48,947 This looks a little bit more like 70-30. 727 01:32:49,047 --> 01:32:53,544 - Or maybe even 80-20. - Ralph, will ya get the rats off that rope?! 728 01:32:54,170 --> 01:32:58,466 - I don't go near rats, buddy. - Ralph, do not be afraid. 729 01:32:59,926 --> 01:33:02,637 Remember the Sufi way: See with your heart. 730 01:33:03,262 --> 01:33:07,049 My heart sees rats, Pop. Don't let this garb fool you. 731 01:33:07,149 --> 01:33:09,384 Come on, Colton. Where's the Jewel? 732 01:33:09,484 --> 01:33:13,805 Ralph, I am the Jewel. The Jewel of the Nile. 733 01:33:13,905 --> 01:33:17,016 And I'm a kumquat from Queens. Pipe down, towel-head! 734 01:33:17,116 --> 01:33:20,270 - Come on, Ralph. - Take the ladder and put it over the well. 735 01:33:20,370 --> 01:33:24,023 - Please, don't let us die! - That's a good idea, Legs. 736 01:33:24,123 --> 01:33:29,537 I ain't gonna let you die, but I ain't movin' no ladder until you come across with the rock! 737 01:33:43,301 --> 01:33:45,845 Lookin' more like 90-10! Huh, kumquat? 738 01:33:47,722 --> 01:33:51,551 - Did you get the ladder all right? - Jack, help me unlock the Jewel. 739 01:33:51,651 --> 01:33:56,346 The Jewel? You mean you weren't shittin' me? That guy really is the Jewel? 740 01:33:56,446 --> 01:33:59,567 Come on. We still got time to stop Omar. Let's go. 741 01:34:00,693 --> 01:34:03,645 Ralph, that is not the Sufi way. 742 01:34:03,745 --> 01:34:08,942 I don't know what got into me, Jewels. Every time I'm around this guy he makes me crazy. 743 01:34:09,042 --> 01:34:13,247 Come on. Tell him to cut me down, Jewels. Come on, huh? 744 01:34:58,417 --> 01:35:02,129 Don't fuck around with the equipment! Bloody woman! 745 01:35:26,236 --> 01:35:28,321 Here they come, Jack. 746 01:35:50,051 --> 01:35:55,222 Oh, my God. Look at this. Looks like Our Lady of Mount Palmer schoolyard. 747 01:35:56,723 --> 01:35:58,323 Hold it! 748 01:36:02,938 --> 01:36:05,649 Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through. 749 01:36:07,276 --> 01:36:08,935 Oh, Rachid. 750 01:36:09,035 --> 01:36:13,064 How ya doin'? Let's talk this over before you butcher me alive. 751 01:36:13,164 --> 01:36:15,659 What are you getting so steamed about? 752 01:36:18,452 --> 01:36:20,997 Look at that. It worked! 753 01:38:01,346 --> 01:38:03,515 Get over the wall. Come on! 754 01:38:03,890 --> 01:38:05,890 Get goin'. 755 01:38:10,939 --> 01:38:13,024 Keep going. 756 01:38:38,799 --> 01:38:42,261 I knew we'd hook up again, Colton. Get it? 757 01:38:45,014 --> 01:38:47,132 I swear to God! 758 01:38:47,232 --> 01:38:49,301 My right hand to God! 759 01:38:49,401 --> 01:38:50,993 Come on! 760 01:39:32,393 --> 01:39:37,607 I am dead, Miss Wilder. All that will be written for Omar is an epitaph. 761 01:39:37,982 --> 01:39:40,068 But I will not be alone. 762 01:39:49,743 --> 01:39:52,287 Who is going to save you now? 763 01:39:54,958 --> 01:39:55,958 Who? 764 01:40:37,541 --> 01:40:39,626 Well, you got your story. 765 01:40:40,586 --> 01:40:42,671 I got a lot more than that. 766 01:41:06,777 --> 01:41:08,571 You are married! 767 01:41:38,476 --> 01:41:41,178 Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. 768 01:41:41,278 --> 01:41:43,772 As usual, it's zilch for poor Ralphie. 769 01:41:46,691 --> 01:41:48,777 You are Sufi. 770 01:41:50,862 --> 01:41:52,948 Keep it always. 771 01:41:54,324 --> 01:41:55,324 Guys! 772 01:41:58,787 --> 01:42:00,873 Sufis rule! 773 01:45:45,718 --> 01:45:48,221 Subtitles by Visiontext