1 00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:22,628 It has been described as one of the most vicious presidential races... 2 00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:24,548 ...in the history of American politics... 3 00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:25,988 ...and one of the closest. 4 00:00:26,436 --> 00:00:29,828 The Republican nominee Senator Russell P. Kramer of Ohio... 5 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,188 ...is practically dead even in the polls with is bitter rival... 6 00:00:33,637 --> 00:00:36,068 ...democratic Governor Matt Douglas of Indiana. 7 00:00:36,484 --> 00:00:39,428 To say there is no love lost between these two candidates... 8 00:00:39,684 --> 00:00:41,348 ...is a gross understatement. 9 00:00:41,860 --> 00:00:46,148 Yet to night, in spite of their almost overwhelming distaste for each other... 10 00:00:46,308 --> 00:00:48,548 ...one man will have to salute the other... 11 00:00:48,997 --> 00:00:52,837 ...as the next President of the United States. 12 00:01:15,268 --> 00:01:17,187 Thank you. 13 00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:18,788 Thank you. God bless you. 14 00:01:19,268 --> 00:01:21,668 What was once a dream. 15 00:01:21,828 --> 00:01:23,748 ...is now a reality. 16 00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:27,908 I've always said that our dreams are like our children. 17 00:01:28,068 --> 00:01:31,748 They need our encouragement and support to grow. 18 00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:34,148 They must be nurtured and sheltered... 19 00:01:34,276 --> 00:01:35,245 ...but... 20 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,028 ...allowed to run free. 21 00:01:37,509 --> 00:01:41,349 We are here to help your dream become real, America. 22 00:01:41,764 --> 00:01:43,748 And I'm confident that we'll be here... 23 00:01:44,487 --> 00:01:48,004 ...for a long, long time to come. 24 00:01:55,876 --> 00:02:00,676 And so it appears the American people have spoken. 25 00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:02,469 A few minutes ago... 26 00:02:02,884 --> 00:02:06,724 ...I congratulated Governor Douglas on his victory. 27 00:02:06,948 --> 00:02:10,628 We fought bravely, but for us the time has come... 28 00:02:10,757 --> 00:02:12,248 ...to stand behind our new president... 29 00:02:12,348 --> 00:02:15,428 ...and put aside any feelings of ill will... 30 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:16,869 ...rancor... 31 00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:18,308 ...hostility... 32 00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:22,148 ...and serious doubts about this man's ability to lead a nation... 33 00:02:22,564 --> 00:02:25,220 ...that I hope none of us feels. 34 00:02:52,164 --> 00:02:53,349 A funny thing happened... 35 00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:56,320 ...on the way to the office tonight. 36 00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:59,748 I got elected President of the United States. 37 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:12,549 A funny thing happened on the way to the hotel tonight. 38 00:03:12,708 --> 00:03:14,469 Now. The people have spoken. 39 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,349 Maybe we don't agree with them. 40 00:03:17,796 --> 00:03:18,796 Congratulations. 41 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,229 What a night. 42 00:03:20,676 --> 00:03:21,676 It's time, sir. 43 00:03:23,268 --> 00:03:24,233 Well, all right then. 44 00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:26,468 Shall we greet the nation Mr. Vice President-elect. 45 00:03:26,628 --> 00:03:29,508 I guess, but are we sure it's official? 46 00:03:30,404 --> 00:03:34,244 President Douglas just conceded. I'd say that's a good sign. 47 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,010 Let's go. 48 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,434 I have always believed that dreams... 49 00:04:14,534 --> 00:04:15,876 ...are like children. 50 00:04:16,036 --> 00:04:18,756 They need encouragement and support to grow. 51 00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:19,916 But ultimately... 52 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:24,516 ...it is perseverance that will turn a dream into a reality... 53 00:04:24,676 --> 00:04:26,916 ...countries into world powers... 54 00:04:27,846 --> 00:04:29,796 ...and your own Hiroshi Ashino... 55 00:04:29,956 --> 00:04:33,796 ...into Matsamuda's insurance Underwriter of the Year. 56 00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,076 Pleasure. Good. Congrats. 57 00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:57,827 What?! 58 00:05:01,156 --> 00:05:03,076 Jesus Christ! 59 00:05:03,876 --> 00:05:07,236 The thing just grabbed me. Am I supposed to knock it down? 60 00:05:07,494 --> 00:05:09,636 - You handled it very well. - You think so? 61 00:05:09,796 --> 00:05:12,036 Tomorrow there'll be a picture of me... 62 00:05:12,196 --> 00:05:14,916 ...dancing with a giant dog in every newspaper on this planet. 63 00:05:15,076 --> 00:05:16,356 It was a panda, sir. 64 00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:17,796 What's the difference? 65 00:05:17,956 --> 00:05:19,236 Why a Japanese company would...? 66 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,116 I don't care. Did Jefferson dance with a bear? 67 00:05:22,276 --> 00:05:23,241 Did Lincoln? 68 00:05:23,341 --> 00:05:24,964 Did Reagan foxtrot with a panda? 69 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,089 I'll check... 70 00:05:26,189 --> 00:05:30,724 I was President of the United States I don't dance with animals. 71 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,165 No dancing with animals. 72 00:05:32,484 --> 00:05:34,564 - A message from the president. - Thanks, Jim. 73 00:05:34,884 --> 00:05:36,005 Jim's off today. I'm Bruce. 74 00:05:36,324 --> 00:05:37,475 Sorry. 75 00:05:38,436 --> 00:05:39,845 You and Jim look alike. 76 00:05:40,036 --> 00:05:41,956 Jim's black sir. 77 00:05:43,396 --> 00:05:44,357 I know. 78 00:05:44,457 --> 00:05:46,084 But you're both... 79 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,035 ...tall. 80 00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:51,684 He's sending me to another funeral. 81 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,476 I can't believe I just did it with Matt Douglas. 82 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,380 You were the leader of the free world. 83 00:06:03,556 --> 00:06:06,276 My mother has a commemorative plate with your face on it. 84 00:06:06,756 --> 00:06:08,676 You haven't said anything about my book. 85 00:06:09,156 --> 00:06:12,036 The new draft better? 86 00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:16,836 I'm your editor. Keep in mind, I'm supposed to be critical. 87 00:06:16,996 --> 00:06:17,996 It stinks, right? 88 00:06:18,276 --> 00:06:20,676 No, it doesn't... I would never... 89 00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:23,556 It is pretty stinky. Sorry. 90 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,916 You spend too much of the book talking about what you wanted to do... 91 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:28,354 ...not what you did. 92 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,453 I didn't do much. 93 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,620 How's that for honesty? 94 00:06:33,796 --> 00:06:35,076 I believe this is yours. 95 00:06:35,364 --> 00:06:36,364 Look, Joanna... 96 00:06:36,612 --> 00:06:37,956 ...if the book goes or not... 97 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:39,532 ...I don't care. 98 00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:42,754 I'm writing it, cause I don't know what else to do. 99 00:06:42,854 --> 00:06:45,156 You've got plenty of options. 100 00:06:45,316 --> 00:06:46,310 Not really. 101 00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:48,516 But I'll never be like Kramer... 102 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,396 ...running around sucking up every dime that isn't nailed down. 103 00:06:52,516 --> 00:06:53,792 Jimmy Carter, there's a class act. 104 00:06:53,892 --> 00:06:57,634 He goes around building homes for poor people with his own hands. 105 00:06:57,734 --> 00:06:58,732 You could do that. 106 00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:00,516 Yeah, maybe in a couple years. 107 00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:02,436 Right now my attitude is... 108 00:07:02,852 --> 00:07:05,732 "They didn't vote for me let them freeze." 109 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,516 That was too easy. You're getting soft. 110 00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:15,396 We really wish you wouldn't do that. You put yourself at risk. 111 00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:17,316 Right. Let me ask you... 112 00:07:17,796 --> 00:07:20,676 ...in the years ex-presidents have had Secret Service protection... 113 00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:24,516 ...has there ever been even one assassination attempt? 114 00:07:24,836 --> 00:07:25,782 No, sir. 115 00:07:25,882 --> 00:07:26,917 I find that sad. 116 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,780 The minute you're out of the office... 117 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,196 ...they don't care enough to kill you anymore. 118 00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:33,637 Before we go in... 119 00:07:33,924 --> 00:07:36,996 ...we'd like to know how you got out of the stall without us seeing. 120 00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:38,916 Why don't you guys relax? 121 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,316 Take a night off. Go rent "In the Line of Fire" again. 122 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,829 We'll be in Air Force One shortly, President Douglas. 123 00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:58,436 I hate funerals It's awful when another good Democrat passes on. 124 00:07:58,597 --> 00:08:01,316 I believe the deceased was a Republican. 125 00:08:03,141 --> 00:08:04,516 Then it might not be so bad. 126 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:11,876 Hello, baby. 127 00:08:12,037 --> 00:08:14,530 Daddy's home. 128 00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:27,397 There's the old seat. 129 00:08:29,796 --> 00:08:31,716 President Douglas. 130 00:08:33,316 --> 00:08:35,236 President Kramer. 131 00:08:36,676 --> 00:08:39,556 Well, that covers that. 132 00:08:49,284 --> 00:08:50,284 Russell... 133 00:08:50,532 --> 00:08:52,452 ...I just have to ask. 134 00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:55,076 When you dance with a panda... 135 00:08:55,332 --> 00:08:57,252 ...who leads? 136 00:09:06,276 --> 00:09:09,156 Are you working on your book? 137 00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:12,836 I find writing very gratifying. I must. 138 00:09:13,381 --> 00:09:15,716 I've written seven books on my years at the helm. 139 00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:19,876 You've obviously got a great knack for fiction. 140 00:09:21,636 --> 00:09:24,516 And how is Mrs. Douglas? 141 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,756 We're in the middle of a divorce. 142 00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:28,196 I knew that, didn't I? 143 00:09:28,741 --> 00:09:32,036 I guess life in the White House put a strain on your marriage. 144 00:09:32,292 --> 00:09:35,396 It was being out of the White House that Katherine couldn't stand. 145 00:09:35,557 --> 00:09:36,534 That's funny. 146 00:09:36,634 --> 00:09:39,716 It went over well with the rest of the country. 147 00:09:39,876 --> 00:09:41,196 Want to compare popularity polls? 148 00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,076 Let's talk about popularity. 149 00:09:43,396 --> 00:09:46,436 There was only. one assassination attempt on me. You had three. 150 00:09:46,596 --> 00:09:49,316 Two the woman in Phoenix does not count! She had a starter pistol! 151 00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:50,418 Stop. 152 00:09:50,518 --> 00:09:51,460 Just stop. 153 00:09:51,684 --> 00:09:53,156 We're here because a man died. 154 00:09:53,604 --> 00:09:56,516 We can attempt some semblance of civility, can't we? 155 00:09:56,676 --> 00:09:58,596 I know I can. 156 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,196 You're a whore, admit it. Admit you're a big whore. 157 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:07,556 Name three women in DC. you didn't bang when you were in office. 158 00:10:07,845 --> 00:10:08,996 What am I talking? Name one. 159 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:12,197 - Screw you. - Blow me. 160 00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,836 When I appointed General Charles Sherman... 161 00:10:16,997 --> 00:10:18,276 .to the Joint Chiefs... 162 00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:21,156 ...I knew he was a man with a dream. 163 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:26,116 I have always believed that dreams are like our children. 164 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,836 Buy a new speech, Russell. 165 00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:32,196 That dead general's lucky. He won't have to hear it again. 166 00:10:32,772 --> 00:10:34,596 Grab me a towel, will you? 167 00:10:34,756 --> 00:10:37,956 I don't like to interrupted while on the bike. What's going on? 168 00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:40,356 I'm afraid a situation's come up. 169 00:10:40,645 --> 00:10:44,196 The Democrats may have some damaging information about... 170 00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:45,636 ...Olympia... 171 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,036 Olympia? 172 00:10:48,196 --> 00:10:49,956 We've had that buried for years. 173 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,396 I was thinking... 174 00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:54,756 ...when all this took place, Kramer was President. 175 00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:57,156 Possibly we can lay the scandal on him. 176 00:10:58,404 --> 00:10:59,689 He didn't know anything about it. 177 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,954 Could always make it appear he did. 178 00:11:02,054 --> 00:11:05,316 A little fiddling with the records, some rewriting of history. 179 00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:08,196 I don't know, Carl. That's tricky stuff. 180 00:11:08,356 --> 00:11:10,596 That'd open a whole new bag of cats. 181 00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,956 My honest opinion. If this matter isn't taken care of immediately... 182 00:11:14,245 --> 00:11:17,316 ...no less than the presidency is at stake. 183 00:11:17,796 --> 00:11:21,636 Don't worry. I can promise this is the last you'll hear about it. 184 00:11:21,925 --> 00:11:23,845 Hear about what? 185 00:11:26,596 --> 00:11:30,436 Mrs Sherman told me Charlie had a favorite song. 186 00:11:31,236 --> 00:11:32,676 One that cheered him up. 187 00:11:32,964 --> 00:11:35,074 Please God, don't let him quote lyrics. 188 00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:38,434 I can't think of anything more fitting than to share with you... 189 00:11:38,534 --> 00:11:39,876 ...the words from that song. 190 00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:42,180 Oh, Christ. 191 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,154 "Muskrat Susie 192 00:11:45,254 --> 00:11:46,596 "Muskrat Sam 193 00:11:46,756 --> 00:11:49,476 "Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat-land 194 00:11:49,636 --> 00:11:51,556 "And they shimmy 195 00:11:54,436 --> 00:11:56,356 "And Sammy's so skinny." 196 00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:06,341 How are you doing? 197 00:12:07,653 --> 00:12:09,092 Hello, Senator. 198 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,300 Good to see you. 199 00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:15,333 Nice to have seen you. 200 00:12:15,492 --> 00:12:17,732 Mr. President, hello. 201 00:12:17,892 --> 00:12:20,133 What a lovely surprise. 202 00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,532 And how is my favorite TV newsperson? 203 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:23,973 I'm your favorite? 204 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,893 I thought Diane Sawyer was. 205 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,100 She is. How is she? 206 00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:32,132 Rumor has it a major scandal is about to blow... 207 00:12:32,324 --> 00:12:34,052 ...and it may involve you. 208 00:12:34,181 --> 00:12:35,493 No, not me, Kaye. 209 00:12:35,876 --> 00:12:37,413 My nose is clean. 210 00:12:37,572 --> 00:12:41,732 I heard that in your last year in office you took a very generous... 211 00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:42,834 ..."fee"... 212 00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,387 ...for delivering a defense contract. 213 00:12:44,516 --> 00:12:45,572 I'm just... 214 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,013 ...looking for a confirmation. 215 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:51,140 Are you saying that I took a kickback? 216 00:12:52,677 --> 00:12:54,693 Excuse me, got a minute? 217 00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:58,052 Looks like Haney's involved in this Kramer kickback story. 218 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:02,180 But a defense contractor's prepared to say he paid Kramer off. 219 00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:04,293 Then that's that Case closed 220 00:13:04,420 --> 00:13:07,652 No, it's not. Our sources tell us Haney's shifting the blame. 221 00:13:07,812 --> 00:13:09,572 Word is, it was done over lunch. 222 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,618 - Really? - Just you and the contractor. 223 00:13:11,718 --> 00:13:12,681 Very cozy. 224 00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:14,372 Who is this contractor? 225 00:13:14,724 --> 00:13:16,292 Charlie Reynolds. 226 00:13:16,644 --> 00:13:18,693 Oh, you're kidding. 227 00:13:19,044 --> 00:13:21,573 You know I would tell you the name of the contractor... 228 00:13:21,796 --> 00:13:23,492 ...if I was your favorite TV newsperson. 229 00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:25,412 But since I'm not... 230 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,683 Take care. 231 00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:31,345 Did you hear that? 232 00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:33,572 I did. It's a crock and we both know it. 233 00:13:33,732 --> 00:13:36,452 It's a kick in the balls. Sorry, sweetheart. 234 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,332 I'm a politician's wife. I have a set of my own. 235 00:13:39,684 --> 00:13:43,172 I know you and Charlie were friends but he's in over his head. 236 00:13:43,524 --> 00:13:46,052 You're going to Washington for the book convention? 237 00:13:46,212 --> 00:13:48,932 It'd be a great time to talk to him. 238 00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:52,292 I'd like to help you, Joe, but I'm not getting involved. 239 00:13:52,836 --> 00:13:54,212 If you do this for us... 240 00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:56,132 ...the Party'll be grateful. 241 00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:59,012 We both know you want another crack at the Oval Office. 242 00:13:59,236 --> 00:14:02,372 I told you I was thinking about running again. Just thinking. 243 00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:04,292 The Party wouldn't back me. 244 00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,660 Besides they wouldn't. 245 00:14:06,853 --> 00:14:08,333 - Would they? - Of course, they would. 246 00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:11,012 I'm the Democratic Chairman. We need your help. 247 00:14:11,172 --> 00:14:15,812 If you're seriously considering running again, you'll need ours. 248 00:14:15,972 --> 00:14:17,252 When did this supposedly happen? 249 00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:19,172 It was seven years ago. 250 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,612 I don't understand it. 251 00:14:21,156 --> 00:14:24,452 Why me and why now? Who'll benefit from framing me? 252 00:14:24,996 --> 00:14:27,876 The President of the United States. 253 00:14:43,396 --> 00:14:44,612 I thought about your offer. 254 00:14:45,156 --> 00:14:46,156 Not that I'd run again... 255 00:14:46,596 --> 00:14:51,332 ...but you really think the Party'd back me if I helped out? 256 00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:53,476 It's already been discussed. 257 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,132 Really? 258 00:14:56,484 --> 00:15:00,324 Now that I think of it there is an extra bonus to this. 259 00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,292 I either get the son of a bitch I hate... 260 00:15:04,453 --> 00:15:05,406 Good to see you. 261 00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:09,156 ...or the son of a bitch I really hate. 262 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,996 I'll do it. 263 00:15:17,412 --> 00:15:20,612 Get me the name of that contractor. You must dig that up. 264 00:15:21,092 --> 00:15:23,012 I'll get right on it. 265 00:15:24,452 --> 00:15:26,852 We agreed the zipper would be in the up position. 266 00:15:27,332 --> 00:15:30,212 it's part of the deal. 267 00:15:31,076 --> 00:15:34,532 I wonder what they'd pay me if I tattooed their logo on my ass. 268 00:15:34,821 --> 00:15:37,701 - I could ask, sir. - Just drive the cart! 269 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,252 I've actually thought about playing professionally. 270 00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:54,692 I don’t know about that 271 00:15:55,172 --> 00:15:59,972 I think the ladies' tour likes their payers to be more masculine. 272 00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:18,338 Hold this. 273 00:16:23,685 --> 00:16:26,372 Thank you, Russ. That's for you. 274 00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,154 You son of a 275 00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:47,972 I'm so sorry and I'm so embarrassed. 276 00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:51,332 And I hope this doesn't scare you away from golf. 277 00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:53,252 Because it's such a great sport. 278 00:16:53,636 --> 00:16:56,132 I know your people, the black people... 279 00:16:56,292 --> 00:16:57,572 ...don't enjoy the game. 280 00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,932 it's because you can't get into the nice clubs, the restricted ones. 281 00:17:01,316 --> 00:17:03,332 But blacks are so good at many sports. 282 00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:08,132 Maybe it's good that we white folk have a sport you guys aren't so good at. 283 00:17:08,324 --> 00:17:09,478 Mr. Vice President, this way. 284 00:17:09,578 --> 00:17:12,452 - ls there a problem? - There'll be less of one if you come. 285 00:17:12,612 --> 00:17:13,558 So long. 286 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,292 I'm getting a cramp. 287 00:17:19,332 --> 00:17:23,012 Interesting game. You're playing pretty tough. 288 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,092 Tough enough to win, I hope. 289 00:17:25,604 --> 00:17:26,561 Maybe. 290 00:17:26,661 --> 00:17:29,380 You never know when you'll get stuck with a bad lie. 291 00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:41,732 Here I come, fighting back from behind 292 00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:44,132 Too little, too late. You'll never catch us. 293 00:17:44,292 --> 00:17:47,172 I'm pretty sure I'll catch one of you. 294 00:17:54,212 --> 00:17:57,061 Excellent work, Caldwell. I'll be in touch. 295 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,358 What'd he find? 296 00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:02,340 Charlie Reynolds is the frigging guy who says I took the kickback. 297 00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:05,701 Don't say "frigging." If you must use the F-word, go for the gold. 298 00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:07,140 Why would he say that? 299 00:18:07,556 --> 00:18:09,060 I think he's covering for Haney. 300 00:18:09,252 --> 00:18:11,940 it's Haney's mess and he's shifting it to me. 301 00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,580 I didn't think he was that smart. 302 00:18:15,236 --> 00:18:16,251 He learned from the master. 303 00:18:16,351 --> 00:18:19,620 I met him once. Haney brought him into the office for lunch. 304 00:18:19,844 --> 00:18:23,460 As I remember, we sat around talking about golf most of the time. 305 00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,340 Now Reynolds is getting ready to release an affidavit saying... 306 00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:29,540 ...that he was alone with me. 307 00:18:31,556 --> 00:18:32,618 Don't do that with the liquor. 308 00:18:32,718 --> 00:18:34,660 it's so... George Bush. 309 00:18:36,644 --> 00:18:37,644 Wait. 310 00:18:37,796 --> 00:18:38,820 Wait a minute. 311 00:18:39,044 --> 00:18:41,700 If the meeting took place in the Oval Office... 312 00:18:41,924 --> 00:18:46,500 ...then there's a record of it in the log naming everyone present. 313 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:47,625 This is easy. 314 00:18:47,725 --> 00:18:49,380 I send Caldwell to the archives... 315 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,260 ...and get some hard evidence I can shove in Reynolds' face. 316 00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:53,701 Well done, dear. 317 00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:58,020 Before we check out, do you want me to steal the little shampoos? 318 00:18:58,244 --> 00:19:01,860 Oh God, Margaret, come on now. Please. 319 00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:03,940 I already got them. 320 00:19:12,644 --> 00:19:13,796 It's not there?! 321 00:19:14,117 --> 00:19:16,676 I have the appointment log right in front of me. 322 00:19:16,932 --> 00:19:20,516 I see your name, Charles Reynolds' name, and at the bottom... 323 00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:23,876 ...the word "Olympia" circled in red. 324 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,060 Sir? 325 00:19:30,756 --> 00:19:34,916 Don't be a moron, Charlie! You're saying you offered me a kickback... 326 00:19:35,396 --> 00:19:36,361 ...and I took it?! 327 00:19:36,461 --> 00:19:38,276 That's how I remember it. 328 00:19:38,436 --> 00:19:40,676 As I recall just the two of us were there. 329 00:19:40,964 --> 00:19:42,596 You were pleased about the deal. 330 00:19:42,756 --> 00:19:45,476 Just the two of us? Are you sure about that? 331 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:47,874 There's nothing more to discuss. 332 00:19:47,974 --> 00:19:51,234 We have lots to discuss How's this for openers? 333 00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:55,076 You and your buddies tampering with documents in the archives? 334 00:19:55,556 --> 00:19:58,436 That'll be hard to explain when you get subpoenaed. 335 00:19:58,916 --> 00:20:01,796 I'm sorry, sir. I have no idea what you're talking about. 336 00:20:02,180 --> 00:20:06,020 I'm going to have to stand by my original statement. 337 00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:09,156 You'll have to stand alone. 338 00:20:14,564 --> 00:20:16,196 - Let's go, Bruce. - It's Jim. 339 00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:18,116 Yeah, you're black and tall. 340 00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:21,476 Whoopdee-frigging-do. 341 00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:28,196 Mr. Reynolds... 342 00:20:28,580 --> 00:20:29,636 ...the president's here. 343 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,076 He just left. 344 00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:32,996 No, another one. 345 00:20:33,156 --> 00:20:35,076 Charlie, old buddy! 346 00:20:35,684 --> 00:20:37,314 How about we take a walk? 347 00:20:37,414 --> 00:20:40,292 Talk about old times. 348 00:20:42,404 --> 00:20:43,556 I assure you... 349 00:20:43,716 --> 00:20:46,916 ...the arrangement was made with President Kramer alone. 350 00:20:47,076 --> 00:20:51,714 We're friends. I want to believe you, but some people say it wasn't that way. 351 00:20:51,814 --> 00:20:54,117 This is turning into a huge political bomb. 352 00:20:54,532 --> 00:20:58,436 Not that I mind, because when it blows, my party's going to be in. 353 00:20:58,980 --> 00:20:59,958 Look... 354 00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:02,757 ...Haney, Kramer, one of them is going down. 355 00:21:03,236 --> 00:21:06,597 Now the Democrats can offer you immunity if you give us the name. 356 00:21:06,756 --> 00:21:08,517 Now, come on, who took the kickback? 357 00:21:08,996 --> 00:21:10,076 Please tell me it's Kramer. 358 00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:14,373 If it is I'll give you a big kiss on the lips. 359 00:21:17,253 --> 00:21:20,516 Carl, I'm in a very tough spot here. 360 00:21:20,676 --> 00:21:22,436 I know. There's nothing to worry about. 361 00:21:22,917 --> 00:21:23,859 Hang tight. 362 00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:27,717 They came to my office yesterday! They came to my place of business! 363 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,597 Now, look, I know we have a deal... 364 00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:33,477 ...but if I knew this would happen I wouldn't have signed on. 365 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:37,796 Be calm and know you have the full. power of the White House behind you. 366 00:21:37,956 --> 00:21:40,836 Okay? I'll be in touch. 367 00:21:42,532 --> 00:21:44,037 Reynolds sounds shaky. 368 00:21:44,997 --> 00:21:48,837 I better get over there and give our friend moral support. 369 00:21:57,636 --> 00:22:00,357 Okay, folks, please step back. Form a line 370 00:22:00,836 --> 00:22:02,277 Everyone will get an autograph. 371 00:22:02,436 --> 00:22:04,676 He wrote a cookbook How dare he? 372 00:22:04,964 --> 00:22:07,077 When he was President he cooked for his guests. 373 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,438 That's not the point. 374 00:22:08,538 --> 00:22:10,436 Did Washington write about wooden teeth? 375 00:22:10,820 --> 00:22:14,276 "Did Taft write Thirty Days to a Slimmer Ass"? 376 00:22:14,436 --> 00:22:15,717 It's shameful. 377 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,156 Mr. President? 378 00:22:17,316 --> 00:22:19,236 It's okay, Chet. 379 00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:23,874 Mr. Reynolds would appreciate your signing this for his daughter. 380 00:22:23,974 --> 00:22:25,317 Who? Charlie? 381 00:22:33,092 --> 00:22:35,012 Be glad to. 382 00:22:35,781 --> 00:22:36,837 There you go. 383 00:22:37,412 --> 00:22:40,292 This'll make him very happy. 384 00:22:42,116 --> 00:22:43,557 President Douglas... 385 00:22:43,844 --> 00:22:45,956 ...here's the sandwich you ordered. 386 00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:48,036 Just one moment. 387 00:22:52,101 --> 00:22:54,021 Chet, could you...? 388 00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:58,405 I didn't order a sandwich. 389 00:22:58,505 --> 00:22:59,244 Yes, sir. 390 00:22:59,344 --> 00:23:00,017 Sandwich boy. 391 00:23:00,117 --> 00:23:00,972 Come with us 392 00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:03,716 Drop the bag. Hands behind your back. 393 00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:04,841 What'd I do? 394 00:23:04,941 --> 00:23:06,373 - Don't move - He said turkey and Swiss! 395 00:23:06,473 --> 00:23:07,617 - Don't move - He said turkey and Swiss! 396 00:23:07,717 --> 00:23:08,754 - What's in the bag? - A sandwich. 397 00:23:49,701 --> 00:23:50,741 You made the right choice. 398 00:23:50,917 --> 00:23:52,644 I hope so, Matt. 399 00:23:52,772 --> 00:23:54,115 Get in. 400 00:23:58,597 --> 00:24:00,804 it's my duty to officially serve you with a subpoena. 401 00:24:00,964 --> 00:24:03,844 Oh, God. Did you have to do that? 402 00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:06,180 I always admired you. 403 00:24:07,332 --> 00:24:09,252 The hell... 404 00:24:10,276 --> 00:24:11,844 My ex-wife. 405 00:24:12,004 --> 00:24:13,004 Damn. 406 00:24:13,924 --> 00:24:18,084 Don't ever get a divorce, Charlie. I swear, half the time... 407 00:24:18,244 --> 00:24:21,124 ...I wish somebody'd walk up and shoot me. 408 00:24:22,884 --> 00:24:24,324 Oh, my God! 409 00:24:24,484 --> 00:24:27,364 What are you doing?! 410 00:24:27,844 --> 00:24:30,564 What's going on. Douglas? Oh, my God. 411 00:24:30,916 --> 00:24:32,004 He's dead. 412 00:24:32,164 --> 00:24:33,924 Oh, my God! What the hell? 413 00:24:34,276 --> 00:24:35,364 Don't make a scene. 414 00:24:35,652 --> 00:24:37,764 - What did you do?! - What did I do?! 415 00:24:37,924 --> 00:24:41,124 You caught me. We got in a fight about your cookbook so I plugged him. 416 00:24:43,332 --> 00:24:44,582 You got a problem with my cookbook? 417 00:24:44,682 --> 00:24:46,884 We are two ex-presidents inches away from a dead man. 418 00:24:47,044 --> 00:24:48,324 Not a good place to be. 419 00:24:48,484 --> 00:24:51,143 What were you doing with Reynolds? You know about Olympia, don't you? 420 00:24:51,243 --> 00:24:53,604 - I know about the kickback you took. - I didn't take one! 421 00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:56,964 - What business is it of yours anyway? - Where can we talk? 422 00:24:57,124 --> 00:25:00,004 I know, follow me. 423 00:25:14,020 --> 00:25:16,357 For the last time, I'm telling everything I know. 424 00:25:16,613 --> 00:25:19,237 And I don't have the slightest clue what Olympia is? 425 00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:22,117 Excuse me, Dad. Did you want a drink? 426 00:25:22,276 --> 00:25:23,556 Fruit juice, honey. 427 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:25,957 - Vodka tonic - I'm sure we can swing that. 428 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:27,500 I never touch alcohol. 429 00:25:27,716 --> 00:25:29,316 Dulls the senses. 430 00:25:29,476 --> 00:25:31,396 You're full of shit. 431 00:25:33,476 --> 00:25:34,362 Hi, there. 432 00:25:34,462 --> 00:25:35,386 We're talking big-people talk. 433 00:25:35,486 --> 00:25:36,517 Did you hear that? 434 00:25:36,676 --> 00:25:37,956 Here, here. 435 00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:39,396 Money. For you. 436 00:25:40,068 --> 00:25:40,970 Thanks. 437 00:25:41,070 --> 00:25:41,914 - Don't do that - Why? 438 00:25:42,014 --> 00:25:44,676 I'm showing him how you got elected. 439 00:25:45,061 --> 00:25:46,116 Play with me. 440 00:25:46,692 --> 00:25:51,492 I can't right now Davy. But, here. See, take this and run along. 441 00:25:52,741 --> 00:25:53,796 Give me the gun. 442 00:25:54,084 --> 00:25:57,636 You go hide. I'll count from 100 and then come find you. Okay? 443 00:25:58,116 --> 00:26:00,036 Skedaddle. One hundred... 444 00:26:00,196 --> 00:26:01,956 ...ninety-nine..... 445 00:26:03,556 --> 00:26:04,556 Okay, where were we? 446 00:26:06,756 --> 00:26:08,676 Maybe you weren't involved in Charlie's death... 447 00:26:08,805 --> 00:26:10,596 ...but you're involved somehow. 448 00:26:11,076 --> 00:26:14,436 I'm involved? What about you? You were sitting in a dead man's car. 449 00:26:14,821 --> 00:26:16,821 Now you know. I enjoy spending time with dead men. 450 00:26:17,124 --> 00:26:18,830 - You don't believe me? - Go ahead and die. 451 00:26:18,930 --> 00:26:19,917 It'll perk me up. 452 00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:21,124 You... 453 00:26:21,316 --> 00:26:23,236 Someone's here for you. 454 00:26:24,677 --> 00:26:27,396 Good afternoon, sirs. Colonel Paul Tanner, NSA. 455 00:26:27,557 --> 00:26:30,756 President Haney must meet with the both of you as quickly as possible. 456 00:26:30,916 --> 00:26:33,156 We have transportation to Camp David. 457 00:26:33,636 --> 00:26:35,076 How'd you find us here? 458 00:26:35,364 --> 00:26:37,956 We know where you are at all times, sir. 459 00:26:38,532 --> 00:26:41,412 That's our business. 460 00:27:13,637 --> 00:27:14,602 Major... 461 00:27:14,702 --> 00:27:17,796 ...is there a problem? The flight to Camp David isn't this long. 462 00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:20,196 My orders didn't mention Camp David. 463 00:27:20,357 --> 00:27:23,076 We were told we were going to Camp David to see Haney. 464 00:27:23,237 --> 00:27:27,077 Sir, as far as know, President Haney's at the White House. 465 00:27:27,876 --> 00:27:28,876 Something's wrong. 466 00:27:28,997 --> 00:27:31,236 - Now what? - Haney's in Washington. 467 00:27:31,620 --> 00:27:33,636 They are taking us out in the middle of nowhere. 468 00:27:33,797 --> 00:27:36,036 That duplicitous little turd. 469 00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:37,956 I want to speak to the White House. 470 00:27:38,340 --> 00:27:40,836 I'm sorry. I've been. instructed to maintain radio silence. 471 00:27:41,733 --> 00:27:43,253 Then put this bird on the ground, now! 472 00:27:43,524 --> 00:27:44,502 That's an order. 473 00:27:44,602 --> 00:27:48,420 Respectfully sir, I can't do that. My orders are classified. 474 00:27:48,612 --> 00:27:49,956 All right..... 475 00:27:50,117 --> 00:27:53,957 Land this contraption or I'll blow your head off! 476 00:28:03,012 --> 00:28:06,852 You said you wanted to maintain radio silence... 477 00:28:07,397 --> 00:28:08,397 What the hell?! 478 00:28:08,676 --> 00:28:11,556 Don't shoot a gun in a confined area! You want to deafen us. 479 00:28:12,516 --> 00:28:13,636 Just get out of the chopper. 480 00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,876 - Get out of the chopper! - The crops? 481 00:28:16,260 --> 00:28:17,794 Get out! 482 00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:27,876 What we do now? 483 00:28:28,036 --> 00:28:30,756 It's our butts if we let them out of sight. 484 00:28:31,140 --> 00:28:35,076 If I have to get a hearing aid after this, I'm sending you the bill. 485 00:28:35,556 --> 00:28:39,396 if I have to listen to you bitch, I'll beat you to death with my shoe! 486 00:28:39,780 --> 00:28:42,756 Now what the hell are they doing? Get out of here! 487 00:28:43,236 --> 00:28:45,156 Go on, get going! Shoo! Shoo! 488 00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:47,076 They're not leaving. 489 00:28:47,236 --> 00:28:48,636 Maybe if you make a scary face..... 490 00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:50,436 Wait a minute, Einstein. 491 00:28:50,596 --> 00:28:53,796 We never had to leave the chopper! You've got their gun! 492 00:28:54,341 --> 00:28:56,278 We could've made them take us back to Washington. 493 00:28:56,378 --> 00:28:57,636 Now you figure that out! 494 00:28:57,796 --> 00:29:00,516 As usual, a Republican comes up with a plan while the Democrat... 495 00:29:00,996 --> 00:29:02,436 ...wanders in the woods. 496 00:29:02,820 --> 00:29:04,356 Flag them down. 497 00:29:04,644 --> 00:29:05,796 Come on down. 498 00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:07,236 Bring it down. 499 00:29:07,524 --> 00:29:10,404 Bring... it... down! 500 00:29:29,124 --> 00:29:31,044 They're down. 501 00:29:44,772 --> 00:29:48,996 I don't believe this it's madness. You know what gives me the red ass? 502 00:29:49,284 --> 00:29:50,262 The red ass? 503 00:29:50,362 --> 00:29:51,876 Haney's behind all this. 504 00:29:52,260 --> 00:29:54,756 Damn it, he's not going to get away with it. We'll go public. 505 00:29:55,333 --> 00:29:56,676 I'll call Kaye Griffin. 506 00:29:56,836 --> 00:30:00,516 We'll go on TV and tell them about Reynolds, murder and the explosion. 507 00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,876 Are you crazy? We can't go public without evidence. 508 00:30:04,356 --> 00:30:05,676 We'll look like couple of morons. 509 00:30:05,796 --> 00:30:06,876 The people will believe us! 510 00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:07,972 Why? 511 00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:09,796 Because we're presidents. 512 00:30:11,556 --> 00:30:14,914 They won't believe us. What are we supposed to do? 513 00:30:15,014 --> 00:30:16,932 I don't know. 514 00:30:20,356 --> 00:30:21,735 Call Douglas's and Kramer's families. 515 00:30:21,835 --> 00:30:23,885 Tell them the presidents're called on an emergency summit. 516 00:30:23,985 --> 00:30:26,268 They will not be reachable and we have no further information. 517 00:30:26,368 --> 00:30:27,828 Unless you find them in the wreckage... 518 00:30:27,928 --> 00:30:30,335 ...they're still out there with about a three-hour head start. 519 00:30:30,660 --> 00:30:32,967 Put up the checkpoints for ten miles around the crash site. 520 00:30:33,067 --> 00:30:35,876 I want this resolved tonight. 521 00:30:43,044 --> 00:30:46,884 I'm hungry. Give me one of those Tootsie Rolls you've got. 522 00:30:47,844 --> 00:30:49,764 Wait a minute. 523 00:30:50,916 --> 00:30:52,356 Here's half. You owe me. 524 00:30:52,516 --> 00:30:53,794 I owe you? 525 00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:57,733 What, a penny? Man, you are one cheap son of a bitch. 526 00:31:02,596 --> 00:31:04,836 I am one cheap son of a bitch. 527 00:31:04,996 --> 00:31:07,236 That's what'll save our backsides! 528 00:31:07,396 --> 00:31:11,556 I had the White House kitchen staff track every meal. 529 00:31:11,716 --> 00:31:14,916 They have a record of everything served, and to whom. 530 00:31:15,076 --> 00:31:16,356 You're cheaper than I thought. 531 00:31:16,516 --> 00:31:17,794 Stow it, sailor! 532 00:31:17,894 --> 00:31:21,156 The log will prove Haney was at that lunch with Reynolds. 533 00:31:21,316 --> 00:31:25,477 And it's not in the National Archives, it's in my presidential library in Ohio. 534 00:31:25,636 --> 00:31:29,315 So I just call the library and have them fax the records to key people. 535 00:31:29,415 --> 00:31:30,756 No, you can't call. 536 00:31:30,916 --> 00:31:34,117 Somebody wants us dead, when they find we're not, they'll look for us. 537 00:31:34,596 --> 00:31:36,516 They'll be tapping phones. 538 00:31:36,676 --> 00:31:38,436 Our home phones, office phones..... 539 00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:41,316 How'll we contact the library? 540 00:31:41,604 --> 00:31:44,196 it's a nice night to walk to Ohio. 541 00:31:44,773 --> 00:31:47,076 - We don't know what state we're in. - Come on, Grandpa. 542 00:31:47,557 --> 00:31:48,535 What'd you say? 543 00:31:48,635 --> 00:31:50,437 You heard me. 544 00:31:50,596 --> 00:31:53,476 Try to keep up with me, buster. 545 00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:02,340 Joe Hollis? 546 00:32:02,596 --> 00:32:04,514 Thank you. 547 00:32:08,484 --> 00:32:10,404 Hello, Joe. 548 00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:14,437 What an unexpected and blood-curdeling surprise. 549 00:32:14,596 --> 00:32:17,317 Just know how to make a girl get all gooey inside. 550 00:32:17,892 --> 00:32:20,197 - What've you heard about the scandal? - Not a word. 551 00:32:20,580 --> 00:32:22,596 Excuse me, my salad's getting cold. 552 00:32:23,077 --> 00:32:25,476 Kramer's office cancelled all of his appointments. 553 00:32:25,636 --> 00:32:26,636 He's disappeared. 554 00:32:26,917 --> 00:32:29,794 I have a tough time keeping track of the Democrats... 555 00:32:29,894 --> 00:32:31,236 Douglas disappeared too. 556 00:32:31,396 --> 00:32:33,156 What a coincidence. 557 00:32:33,637 --> 00:32:36,996 If I hear so much as one word, you'll be the first to know. 558 00:32:37,380 --> 00:32:39,397 Come on, what's going on here? 559 00:32:39,556 --> 00:32:43,396 Is it possible Kramer and Douglas are in on this together? 560 00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:47,460 Over their dead bodies. 561 00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,420 How's it going? 562 00:33:25,764 --> 00:33:27,460 Are you them? 563 00:33:27,620 --> 00:33:28,900 Are you the real guys? 564 00:33:29,060 --> 00:33:30,340 Yeah, we are. 565 00:33:30,660 --> 00:33:32,195 Oh, man! 566 00:33:32,580 --> 00:33:34,180 I think you're awesome. 567 00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:35,620 No fair peeking. 568 00:33:36,037 --> 00:33:37,540 Sorry about that. 569 00:33:37,861 --> 00:33:39,460 I'm just kidding. 570 00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:44,420 I think you're doing a great job too. 571 00:33:46,212 --> 00:33:48,132 It's an honor. 572 00:33:49,860 --> 00:33:51,460 No. I can't shake right now. 573 00:33:51,620 --> 00:33:53,540 I have to keep my hands on the first penis. 574 00:33:56,420 --> 00:33:58,530 No problem. 575 00:33:59,652 --> 00:34:02,532 it's a pleasure to meet ya! 576 00:34:10,596 --> 00:34:12,100 The first... 577 00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:13,260 ...penis? 578 00:34:13,381 --> 00:34:16,261 I think that's what I'll call it from now on. 579 00:34:17,604 --> 00:34:19,524 What do you think, Blinky? 580 00:34:25,092 --> 00:34:26,092 What's the deal? 581 00:34:26,244 --> 00:34:27,964 Bobby didn't say anything about presidents. 582 00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:29,380 Figured I was working alone. 583 00:34:29,540 --> 00:34:31,300 It don't matter none. 584 00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:32,740 What's your name? 585 00:34:32,964 --> 00:34:33,929 Matt Douglas. 586 00:34:34,029 --> 00:34:35,848 No, stupid. I know you're supposed to look like. 587 00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:37,540 What are your real names? 588 00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:39,460 Tom and... 589 00:34:39,780 --> 00:34:41,700 This is Blinky. 590 00:34:42,372 --> 00:34:43,780 Tom and Blinky. 591 00:34:43,940 --> 00:34:44,914 I'm Francis. 592 00:34:45,014 --> 00:34:46,107 Let's get one thing straight. 593 00:34:46,207 --> 00:34:50,916 No sharing tips. it's every man for himself until we get to Cleveland. 594 00:34:51,492 --> 00:34:53,412 Now let's rock and roll... 595 00:34:54,084 --> 00:34:55,084 We'll be right there. 596 00:34:55,332 --> 00:34:56,297 Cleveland? 597 00:34:56,397 --> 00:34:58,180 We're out of the woods, Blinky. 598 00:34:58,596 --> 00:35:00,484 You dirty son of a... 599 00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:11,460 Hey, everybody. 600 00:35:12,900 --> 00:35:15,780 Thank you very much. 601 00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:23,300 This is going to be fun. 602 00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,260 It's spooky. He really looks like him. 603 00:35:32,580 --> 00:35:33,700 His nose is bigger. 604 00:35:33,860 --> 00:35:36,100 Have you ever met the real President Kramer? 605 00:35:36,516 --> 00:35:39,460 Actually, I have. A great American. 606 00:35:39,780 --> 00:35:40,901 Give me a break. 607 00:35:41,412 --> 00:35:43,652 "Our dreams are like children. They need to be nurtured. 608 00:35:43,812 --> 00:35:44,932 "They need to be supported." 609 00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,661 "They need to eat vegetables." 610 00:35:47,140 --> 00:35:48,140 Prick. 611 00:35:49,092 --> 00:35:51,940 This is so weird. I shouldn't tell you this, but two years ago... 612 00:35:52,356 --> 00:35:56,261 ...I had a thing with the real Douglas, at a Fourth of July do. 613 00:35:56,420 --> 00:35:58,181 And we did it. 614 00:35:58,340 --> 00:35:59,620 How about that. 615 00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:01,540 Stick a fork in him, he's done. 616 00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:03,460 He was a president. He had his four years. 617 00:36:03,685 --> 00:36:05,380 We don't need another crappy book. 618 00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:07,060 I thought he was a good president. 619 00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:10,180 All these old guys want to stay in the game, but they don't have it. 620 00:36:10,340 --> 00:36:13,220 Lie down, you're dead and you don't know it. 621 00:36:14,820 --> 00:36:15,785 Did you see that? 622 00:36:15,885 --> 00:36:16,793 A muscle spasm. 623 00:36:16,893 --> 00:36:19,620 I've been getting them lately. I'm terribly sorry. 624 00:36:19,940 --> 00:36:20,905 There it goes again. 625 00:36:21,005 --> 00:36:23,141 It just seems that... It's very embarrassing. 626 00:36:23,300 --> 00:36:24,580 I better take my medication. 627 00:36:25,092 --> 00:36:27,941 I hope you don't mind my asking, but how was he? Any good? 628 00:36:28,164 --> 00:36:30,340 It was a lot like his presidency. 629 00:36:30,565 --> 00:36:34,405 There was a lot of talk leading up to it, then he didn't do much. 630 00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:37,541 Excuse me. 631 00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:39,461 Douglas, this thing stops in Akron... 632 00:36:39,972 --> 00:36:42,372 ...which isn't far from Cuyahoga Falls, where my library is. 633 00:36:42,756 --> 00:36:44,793 What's it doing there? Weren't you born in Cleveland? 634 00:36:44,893 --> 00:36:47,620 Yeah, but Cleveland wouldn't cut me a decent deal on property taxes. 635 00:36:48,132 --> 00:36:49,540 Moving that house was a bitch. 636 00:36:50,052 --> 00:36:53,861 But the financial benefits have been fantastic. 637 00:37:01,444 --> 00:37:04,324 I don't think we'll make it to Akron 638 00:37:04,996 --> 00:37:08,356 Let's start at the front and move back. 639 00:37:08,836 --> 00:37:12,676 Meet us at the next station. That's where we'll pull them off. 640 00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:57,219 Oh, great. 641 00:37:57,477 --> 00:37:59,397 The end of the line. 642 00:38:09,957 --> 00:38:12,196 My God! How will we do this? 643 00:38:12,356 --> 00:38:14,116 Simple. Jump, tuck, and roll. 644 00:38:14,660 --> 00:38:17,956 It's all hay and grass out there. It's the "amber waves of grain...' 645 00:38:18,116 --> 00:38:19,050 I can't. 646 00:38:19,150 --> 00:38:19,962 You can. 647 00:38:20,062 --> 00:38:21,316 - I can't! - You can do it! 648 00:38:21,477 --> 00:38:22,756 - I can't - Close your eyes. 649 00:38:22,916 --> 00:38:24,676 - We'll jump together. - Don't give me that. 650 00:38:24,965 --> 00:38:26,596 - I can't do this! - Close them! 651 00:38:26,916 --> 00:38:27,858 Count! 652 00:38:27,958 --> 00:38:28,700 One! 653 00:38:28,996 --> 00:38:29,796 Two! 654 00:38:32,164 --> 00:38:34,084 God, that felt good. 655 00:38:35,877 --> 00:38:38,757 One, two, three. 656 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:00,451 Jesus. 657 00:39:04,836 --> 00:39:06,756 Where are you? 658 00:39:07,236 --> 00:39:08,771 Damn it! 659 00:39:10,116 --> 00:39:12,100 Stop yelling, you dick. 660 00:39:12,261 --> 00:39:13,540 Where are you? 661 00:39:13,860 --> 00:39:15,780 I'm over here. 662 00:39:23,652 --> 00:39:25,060 Nice "amber waves." 663 00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:28,420 I got a chunk of "purple mountain majesty" up my ass. 664 00:39:28,581 --> 00:39:29,581 Here. 665 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:31,780 Just don't. Just don't help me. 666 00:39:31,940 --> 00:39:33,700 I don't need you helping me. 667 00:39:33,860 --> 00:39:35,140 That's fine by me. 668 00:39:35,301 --> 00:39:37,027 Let's go. 669 00:39:38,533 --> 00:39:40,453 Do you smell food? 670 00:39:54,020 --> 00:39:56,260 I'm out of money. Lend me five bucks for a burger. 671 00:39:56,484 --> 00:39:58,660 - What kind of burger? - The one with bacon. 672 00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:00,740 it's $1.99. 673 00:40:02,437 --> 00:40:04,900 You want $5 to buy a $1.99 hamburger? 674 00:40:05,124 --> 00:40:08,004 And you wonder why the Democrats are in trouble. 675 00:40:13,701 --> 00:40:15,621 We got company. 676 00:40:23,652 --> 00:40:26,980 Do you know who those two guys are? They're presidents. 677 00:40:27,141 --> 00:40:28,141 Cool. 678 00:40:29,412 --> 00:40:32,292 Presidents of what? 679 00:40:33,860 --> 00:40:34,860 Cleveland, Ohio. 680 00:40:35,077 --> 00:40:36,100 I hope this works. 681 00:40:36,420 --> 00:40:37,540 We have no other choice. 682 00:40:38,052 --> 00:40:40,420 Hi. I'm Matt Douglas. This is President Kramer. 683 00:40:40,740 --> 00:40:41,705 How do you do? 684 00:40:41,805 --> 00:40:44,251 I'm sure it's a bit overwhelming for you to meet us like this. 685 00:40:44,772 --> 00:40:47,516 We're on a fact-finding mission for the Interstate Commerce Commission. 686 00:40:47,616 --> 00:40:50,180 Headed for Ohio? 687 00:40:51,972 --> 00:40:54,820 We have to ride with you so we can gain a personal perspective... 688 00:40:55,140 --> 00:40:57,700 ...on the transportation capabilities of our interstate system. 689 00:40:58,212 --> 00:41:01,060 Nobody rides for free. Cost you 50 bucks. 690 00:41:01,220 --> 00:41:02,980 We don't have any cash. 691 00:41:03,492 --> 00:41:04,492 I'll take your watch. 692 00:41:04,644 --> 00:41:06,340 You must be joking. 693 00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:10,340 That's a Constellation. It was given to me by Gorbachev. 694 00:41:19,332 --> 00:41:21,700 This really steams my clams. 695 00:41:21,860 --> 00:41:25,060 There are two watches like that in the entire world. 696 00:41:25,284 --> 00:41:28,420 Reagan has one, and now Shamu, the killer hick, has the other. 697 00:41:28,741 --> 00:41:31,300 Shut up. We don't want to piss her off. 698 00:41:31,460 --> 00:41:32,740 These burritos, really great. 699 00:41:33,156 --> 00:41:35,620 Better you're eating them. I'm dieting. 700 00:41:35,780 --> 00:41:37,540 Really? You don't need to. 701 00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:39,940 What's wrong with you? I'm obese. 702 00:41:40,261 --> 00:41:41,380 I don't think you are. 703 00:41:41,604 --> 00:41:43,780 You must be one of those rare gals... 704 00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:47,140 ...who look good carrying an extra one-, two hundred pounds. 705 00:41:47,364 --> 00:41:50,020 What are you saying? I'm a fat pig. 706 00:41:50,180 --> 00:41:54,020 You Washington boys don't know the truth when it bites you in the butt. 707 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:57,412 Nice job not pissing her off. 708 00:41:58,916 --> 00:42:01,156 So, what are we hauling? 709 00:42:01,636 --> 00:42:04,517 Nothing exciting. Farm equipment. 710 00:42:10,916 --> 00:42:12,836 I must pull over. 711 00:42:14,980 --> 00:42:17,460 Not to worry anybody, but you might want to make a run for it. 712 00:42:18,053 --> 00:42:19,973 What the hell...? 713 00:42:22,436 --> 00:42:24,196 Come on, come on, come on. 714 00:42:26,852 --> 00:42:27,852 Halt. Stop where you are. 715 00:42:28,196 --> 00:42:30,916 Immigration and Naturalization Service. 716 00:42:31,076 --> 00:42:32,076 What? 717 00:42:38,180 --> 00:42:40,516 Farm equipment! I knew that damn broad was trouble. 718 00:42:40,836 --> 00:42:44,676 All I care is that chopper's not for us. 719 00:42:48,516 --> 00:42:50,116 That chopper's for us. 720 00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:51,250 This is INS One-One. 721 00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:54,916 You are interfering with an official operation. Vacate the area. 722 00:42:55,076 --> 00:42:57,796 We are in the middle of a highly classified NSA operation. 723 00:42:58,340 --> 00:42:59,716 You are ordered to leave the area. 724 00:43:00,132 --> 00:43:04,932 I will not abort my mission without verification of your authority. 725 00:43:06,052 --> 00:43:08,932 Verification acknowledged. Have a nice night. 726 00:43:11,620 --> 00:43:13,538 Señores... 727 00:43:13,796 --> 00:43:15,716 ...down here! 728 00:43:34,340 --> 00:43:36,196 - What do you have? - Nothing over here! 729 00:43:36,612 --> 00:43:39,492 Let's face it, Douglas. We're dead. 730 00:43:39,716 --> 00:43:41,516 They not kill you, Señor. They send you back. 731 00:43:41,636 --> 00:43:43,394 You wait one month then you try again. 732 00:43:43,494 --> 00:43:46,274 I try four times already. I love this country. 733 00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:48,403 Do me a favor. Put "el socko" in it. 734 00:43:48,503 --> 00:43:50,354 Don't mind him. He's just cranky... 735 00:43:50,454 --> 00:43:53,220 ...'cause he has a tiny penis. 736 00:43:53,572 --> 00:43:54,771 What's your name? 737 00:43:54,871 --> 00:43:59,088 Ernesto. What's yours? 738 00:43:59,700 --> 00:44:00,722 Russell with the tiny penis? 739 00:44:00,822 --> 00:44:01,617 Bingo. 740 00:44:01,717 --> 00:44:03,076 Are you talking about me? 741 00:44:03,236 --> 00:44:05,156 Are you cold? 742 00:44:05,764 --> 00:44:07,397 Here. Take this. 743 00:44:07,556 --> 00:44:09,794 - No, no, it's okay. - Take it. 744 00:44:09,894 --> 00:44:12,772 I could be dead soon. I won't need it. 745 00:44:20,996 --> 00:44:22,756 Now you take this. 746 00:44:23,044 --> 00:44:24,676 - No, don't worry about it. - Take it. 747 00:44:24,964 --> 00:44:26,594 You give to me now, I give to you. 748 00:44:26,694 --> 00:44:29,476 it's helped me get to my new home. 749 00:44:29,860 --> 00:44:32,740 Maybe this'll help you get where you have to go. 750 00:44:33,925 --> 00:44:34,925 Thanks. 751 00:44:37,540 --> 00:44:39,075 Damn it. 752 00:44:40,516 --> 00:44:43,393 They're coming. 753 00:44:44,452 --> 00:44:46,276 - You're crazy. - It is true! 754 00:44:46,564 --> 00:44:48,484 Everyone in this country has a gun. 755 00:44:55,012 --> 00:44:56,932 There he goes! 756 00:45:04,420 --> 00:45:05,956 My coat. They think he's me. 757 00:45:06,436 --> 00:45:09,316 He's not, so he'll be okay. Let's get out of here. 758 00:45:09,476 --> 00:45:11,730 Oh, hey, by the way... 759 00:45:11,830 --> 00:45:15,492 I speak Spanish fluently... 760 00:45:45,636 --> 00:45:47,076 Let's talk. 761 00:45:47,236 --> 00:45:48,996 - Why? - I'm bored. 762 00:45:49,156 --> 00:45:50,156 I have nothing to say. 763 00:45:50,436 --> 00:45:52,836 I have nothing to say to you We can still talk 764 00:45:53,765 --> 00:45:57,060 My parents proved that conclusively. 765 00:45:57,316 --> 00:45:59,076 What do you miss most about the office? 766 00:45:59,236 --> 00:46:02,116 I don't miss anything. I don't live in the past. 767 00:46:03,780 --> 00:46:04,836 What about Rita? 768 00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:08,676 God, I do miss Rita. Greatest cook the White House ever had. 769 00:46:08,836 --> 00:46:12,516 The only cook the White House ever had. She started with Washington. 770 00:46:12,676 --> 00:46:15,876 When I couldn’t sleep, I'd go downstairs and she'd make a dessert 771 00:46:16,164 --> 00:46:19,236 It was cream puff with raspberry sauce and, I don't know..... 772 00:46:20,452 --> 00:46:21,742 Did you ever had one of her pizzas? 773 00:46:21,842 --> 00:46:24,133 It was like a wet dream with a crust. 774 00:46:25,156 --> 00:46:26,914 A wet dream? 775 00:46:27,014 --> 00:46:30,276 I don't need to hear Russell Kramer saying the words, "wet dream." 776 00:46:30,564 --> 00:46:32,196 I'll wake up screaming every night. 777 00:46:32,580 --> 00:46:34,596 - There's nothing wrong with wet dreams. - Stop. 778 00:46:34,756 --> 00:46:36,036 I had a few as a kid. 779 00:46:36,196 --> 00:46:39,076 I'll look for the exhibit in your library. 780 00:46:41,476 --> 00:46:43,234 Okay. I got one. 781 00:46:43,334 --> 00:46:47,076 When you were in the White House, who were you most excited to meet? 782 00:46:47,556 --> 00:46:48,556 Nelson Mandela 783 00:46:48,676 --> 00:46:50,916 - I'm not a reporter. - Ella Fitzgerald. 784 00:46:51,076 --> 00:46:53,796 Mandela was a great man, but he couldn't sing. 785 00:46:53,956 --> 00:46:56,836 Joe DiMaggio. That was a thrill. 786 00:47:01,956 --> 00:47:02,956 What? 787 00:47:04,836 --> 00:47:06,756 Eighty million. 788 00:47:07,812 --> 00:47:12,612 That's how many people voted against me last time out. 789 00:47:14,436 --> 00:47:15,876 That's how many people didn't... 790 00:47:16,420 --> 00:47:19,236 ...trust me, didn't... 791 00:47:19,396 --> 00:47:21,156 ...like me... 792 00:47:21,284 --> 00:47:22,596 ...didn't..... 793 00:47:23,076 --> 00:47:24,994 Who knows? 794 00:47:29,317 --> 00:47:33,157 I stayed in bed for a week and a half after they voted me out. 795 00:47:37,572 --> 00:47:40,356 Let's stop talking. We're about to bond. I'll vomit 796 00:47:40,837 --> 00:47:41,837 Go to hell. 797 00:47:41,956 --> 00:47:43,876 Now that's better. 798 00:47:45,092 --> 00:47:47,012 What time you got? 799 00:47:47,684 --> 00:47:49,602 Screw you. 800 00:47:51,332 --> 00:47:53,252 Hold it, hold it. 801 00:47:53,636 --> 00:47:55,556 I think I hear people. 802 00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:08,356 Wayne, slow down. That bacon doesn't have wings... it won't fly away. 803 00:48:08,516 --> 00:48:11,396 I want to get back on the road. 804 00:48:12,261 --> 00:48:14,562 Sweet Jesus. 805 00:48:15,141 --> 00:48:16,516 Good morning. 806 00:48:16,740 --> 00:48:18,916 It's wonderful to see an American family out... 807 00:48:19,300 --> 00:48:21,316 ...enjoying the splendor of our land. 808 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:22,756 President Kramer? 809 00:48:22,916 --> 00:48:25,636 Yes, ma'am. I'm so pleased to meet you. Sit down. 810 00:48:25,957 --> 00:48:28,036 That's all. You can put it at ease. 811 00:48:28,260 --> 00:48:31,396 I'm on a fact-finding mission from the Department of the interior. 812 00:48:31,620 --> 00:48:35,716 Are the rest areas conveniently located and well maintained? 813 00:48:36,260 --> 00:48:38,180 Oh, yes, sir. 814 00:48:38,756 --> 00:48:39,729 'Morning. 815 00:48:39,829 --> 00:48:40,996 President Douglas. 816 00:48:41,156 --> 00:48:43,876 it's been a delight speaking to you. 817 00:48:44,036 --> 00:48:46,276 Don't forget, these woods are your heritage. 818 00:48:46,692 --> 00:48:48,196 Enjoy them and protect them. 819 00:48:48,612 --> 00:48:50,116 They deserve our respect. 820 00:48:50,276 --> 00:48:51,636 These trees are like our children. 821 00:48:51,972 --> 00:48:54,852 Get in the damn car! 822 00:49:06,596 --> 00:49:08,836 We're just south of Galax, Virginia. 823 00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:11,716 In a few miles we hit 77. 824 00:49:11,876 --> 00:49:14,596 That takes us directly into Ohio. We're fine. 825 00:49:14,756 --> 00:49:16,036 Unless we run into trouble. 826 00:49:16,356 --> 00:49:19,236 Which I predict we won't. 827 00:49:32,996 --> 00:49:35,236 If you told us how important the mission was... 828 00:49:35,460 --> 00:49:37,636 ...we'd have loaned you the car straight out. 829 00:49:38,180 --> 00:49:41,956 Again, we apologize, but those boys from the Department of the Interior... 830 00:49:42,116 --> 00:49:43,396 ...can be very secretive. 831 00:49:43,621 --> 00:49:46,756 We're just happy you're headed for Cleveland. 832 00:49:46,980 --> 00:49:48,676 We're happy to do our part. 833 00:49:48,996 --> 00:49:51,076 Another out-of-state license plate. 834 00:49:51,396 --> 00:49:52,996 We're hoping to spot all 50 states. 835 00:49:53,412 --> 00:49:54,436 We're getting there. 836 00:49:54,852 --> 00:49:56,836 Can anyone make that one out? 837 00:49:56,996 --> 00:49:58,916 Looks like a "U." 838 00:49:59,556 --> 00:50:00,556 Utah! 839 00:50:01,380 --> 00:50:03,556 That's a U.S. government plate. 840 00:50:03,716 --> 00:50:06,596 Guy looks like a cop. 841 00:50:09,636 --> 00:50:11,570 Hey, good buddy! God bless America! 842 00:50:11,670 --> 00:50:13,033 Hey, good buddy! God bless America! 843 00:50:13,133 --> 00:50:15,076 Keep on trucking! 844 00:50:15,236 --> 00:50:17,156 Wave, Kevin! 845 00:50:18,372 --> 00:50:20,836 He wasn't too friendly now, was he? 846 00:50:20,996 --> 00:50:23,876 Mom, the Presidents are squishing me! 847 00:50:24,356 --> 00:50:26,276 Isn't this fun? 848 00:50:40,261 --> 00:50:43,397 We're never getting to Ohio. Not the way this guy drives. 849 00:50:43,556 --> 00:50:46,277 Every 500 feet they stop to take another damn picture. 850 00:50:46,436 --> 00:50:47,716 The Donner Party moved faster. 851 00:50:48,036 --> 00:50:50,916 Shut up. I'm trying to sleep. 852 00:50:52,196 --> 00:50:55,396 Oh, my God he's squeezing my breast again. 853 00:50:55,716 --> 00:50:57,797 This time, pretend not to enjoy it. 854 00:50:58,212 --> 00:51:01,092 Shut your cakehole, Douglas. 855 00:51:10,116 --> 00:51:14,596 We'd have been fine outside in the tent, but thanks for sharing the beds. 856 00:51:14,756 --> 00:51:17,476 It means a lot. 857 00:51:17,636 --> 00:51:20,516 You know, we voted for you. 858 00:51:23,460 --> 00:51:25,637 I'm sorry about that, sir. 859 00:51:26,052 --> 00:51:27,076 We're Republicans. 860 00:51:27,396 --> 00:51:29,477 At least you can admit it. 861 00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:32,836 That's the first step towards recovery. 862 00:51:33,412 --> 00:51:34,947 I'm hot. 863 00:51:46,276 --> 00:51:48,036 How much longer to Cleveland? 864 00:51:48,516 --> 00:51:51,396 I may have to call the department, tell them when to expect us. 865 00:51:51,876 --> 00:51:53,796 About eight to ten hours. 866 00:51:53,956 --> 00:51:55,716 After we drop you off... 867 00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:59,076 ...I might take the family up to see Mount Rushmore. 868 00:51:59,364 --> 00:52:01,476 One of America's greatest natural wonders, son. 869 00:52:02,052 --> 00:52:04,356 Not really. It's not a natural wonder 870 00:52:04,516 --> 00:52:07,716 A man by the name of Gutzon Borglum carved it. 871 00:52:07,877 --> 00:52:09,797 Someone carved it? 872 00:52:10,596 --> 00:52:12,516 That ruins the whole thing. 873 00:52:14,116 --> 00:52:15,396 Diaper Patrol, Matt. 874 00:52:15,684 --> 00:52:17,796 We'll need those Pampers again. 875 00:52:17,956 --> 00:52:19,716 Oh, boy..... 876 00:52:19,876 --> 00:52:20,841 Is he healthy? 877 00:52:20,941 --> 00:52:22,596 Who's on Mount Rushmore? 878 00:52:23,172 --> 00:52:25,956 There's Abe Lincoln. He chopped down the cherry tree. 879 00:52:26,116 --> 00:52:28,356 There's Franklin Theodore Roosevelt. 880 00:52:28,516 --> 00:52:31,236 He kilt him a bear when he was only three. 881 00:52:31,396 --> 00:52:33,636 You got to be kidding, right? 882 00:52:33,796 --> 00:52:36,996 Lincoln's mixed up with Washington. Roosevelt, with Davy Crockett. 883 00:52:37,285 --> 00:52:39,876 Do you have any idea what you're talking about? 884 00:52:40,165 --> 00:52:42,756 No disrespect, sir, but you're in my car. 885 00:52:43,301 --> 00:52:44,301 You're in my country. 886 00:52:44,484 --> 00:52:46,116 Our country. Get your facts straight. 887 00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:48,996 How do you expect your son to respect history? 888 00:52:49,156 --> 00:52:51,396 That kind of ignorance is dangerous. 889 00:52:51,972 --> 00:52:55,716 - What about our nation right now? - Wayne, don't. 890 00:52:55,876 --> 00:52:58,236 The country's falling apart. People are losing their homes. 891 00:52:58,500 --> 00:53:00,484 They can't find work. 892 00:53:00,612 --> 00:53:03,372 You're talking about ignorance. You're the ignorant ones. Both of ya. 893 00:53:03,524 --> 00:53:05,284 You've ignored the voice of the people. 894 00:53:05,796 --> 00:53:06,796 The voice of the people. 895 00:53:07,236 --> 00:53:08,644 There is no such thing. 896 00:53:08,964 --> 00:53:12,004 You got 240 million voices all yelling for something different. 897 00:53:12,164 --> 00:53:15,364 The only thing you all agree on is you don't want higher taxes. 898 00:53:15,524 --> 00:53:17,444 The voice of the people. My fanny. 899 00:53:18,756 --> 00:53:20,676 Pull over, Wayne. 900 00:53:26,084 --> 00:53:29,924 Kevin, run, throw this in the trash for Mama, okay? 901 00:53:31,044 --> 00:53:33,346 There we go. 902 00:53:36,644 --> 00:53:38,564 Please get out of our car. 903 00:53:40,484 --> 00:53:43,364 Listen, I'm sorry..... 904 00:53:46,917 --> 00:53:48,157 We invited you into our home... 905 00:53:48,420 --> 00:53:49,924 ...not our car. 906 00:53:50,244 --> 00:53:51,971 Our home. 907 00:53:53,893 --> 00:53:59,653 We lost our jobs because of your budget cuts, President Kramer. 908 00:54:00,164 --> 00:54:02,084 And we lost our home... 909 00:54:02,596 --> 00:54:03,845 ...because of your... 910 00:54:04,356 --> 00:54:05,765 ...economic downturn... 911 00:54:06,084 --> 00:54:07,685 ...President Douglas. 912 00:54:08,196 --> 00:54:11,044 All we have now is the slim chance of a job... 913 00:54:11,236 --> 00:54:14,116 ...at my uncle's factory in Cleveland. 914 00:54:14,724 --> 00:54:17,604 So I will ask you once again..... 915 00:54:17,893 --> 00:54:19,205 Please... 916 00:54:19,396 --> 00:54:22,276 ...get out of our car. 917 00:54:38,661 --> 00:54:39,717 Joe, it's me. 918 00:54:40,004 --> 00:54:42,116 Where are you? What's going on? 919 00:54:42,597 --> 00:54:43,535 I'm with Kramer. 920 00:54:43,635 --> 00:54:44,502 Are you kidding me? 921 00:54:44,602 --> 00:54:47,397 Haney had Charlie Reynolds killed, now they're trying to kill us. 922 00:54:47,653 --> 00:54:48,626 What? Haney? 923 00:54:48,726 --> 00:54:51,234 I'm pretty sure. He sent Marine One for us. 924 00:54:51,334 --> 00:54:52,676 We escaped before it blew up. 925 00:54:52,836 --> 00:54:53,793 My God. 926 00:54:53,893 --> 00:54:56,996 I didn't want to call anyone, but you're the only person I trust. 927 00:54:57,156 --> 00:54:59,874 Listen, get in touch with the CIA contacts. 928 00:54:59,974 --> 00:55:02,276 See if they can find out what this is about. 929 00:55:02,756 --> 00:55:03,756 Keep out of sight. 930 00:55:04,196 --> 00:55:05,196 It's okay. 931 00:55:05,316 --> 00:55:10,116 I haven't seen any NSA today so I'm guessing we lost them. 932 00:55:21,156 --> 00:55:22,916 They're moving north. 933 00:55:23,204 --> 00:55:24,836 What a coincidence 934 00:55:25,316 --> 00:55:27,234 So are we. 935 00:55:42,692 --> 00:55:44,418 Oh, baby. 936 00:55:49,316 --> 00:55:50,281 Excuse me. 937 00:55:50,381 --> 00:55:52,196 How much is that piece of pie? 938 00:55:52,356 --> 00:55:53,356 $1.50. 939 00:55:56,996 --> 00:55:58,436 Never mind. 940 00:55:58,820 --> 00:56:00,740 But thank you. 941 00:56:06,116 --> 00:56:07,116 Here you go. 942 00:56:07,237 --> 00:56:08,237 It's on the house. 943 00:56:08,901 --> 00:56:10,436 I'm sorry I couldn't do that. 944 00:56:10,596 --> 00:56:13,476 I said it was on the house, old man. 945 00:56:13,957 --> 00:56:15,683 Old man?! 946 00:56:27,236 --> 00:56:28,771 Old man. 947 00:56:31,364 --> 00:56:32,996 Okay, let's go. 948 00:56:33,157 --> 00:56:34,114 What's wrong? 949 00:56:34,214 --> 00:56:37,316 I just want to get out of here. I'm calling my wife. 950 00:56:37,700 --> 00:56:39,420 I don't give a damn if the phone is tapped. 951 00:56:39,525 --> 00:56:44,325 Do what you want, but when the NSA shows up, we'll know who gave us away. 952 00:57:03,812 --> 00:57:05,732 Good morning. 953 00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:07,757 Oh, my! 954 00:57:08,036 --> 00:57:09,956 Oh, my! is this for real? 955 00:57:10,436 --> 00:57:11,436 Is this a joke or what? 956 00:57:11,684 --> 00:57:14,276 - No, it's really us. - No! Get out of here! 957 00:57:14,564 --> 00:57:15,514 Get out! 958 00:57:15,614 --> 00:57:17,636 What's wrong? Oh, my God! 959 00:57:18,116 --> 00:57:20,036 - President Douglas! - And President Kramer! 960 00:57:20,324 --> 00:57:22,818 On our shift! 961 00:57:23,204 --> 00:57:25,314 We'd like to rent a car. 962 00:57:25,414 --> 00:57:28,676 We only have two cars left because of the livestock auction. 963 00:57:28,964 --> 00:57:30,884 Would you like a Hyundai or a Lexus? 964 00:57:34,116 --> 00:57:36,836 - Stupid' stupid, stupid. - Oh, I'm sorry! 965 00:57:36,996 --> 00:57:38,276 Miss Airhead at your service. 966 00:57:38,436 --> 00:57:42,276 Now we'll need to see some identification, please. 967 00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:01,594 Well? 968 00:58:01,694 --> 00:58:04,676 What? I haven't driven myself since my first year in the House. 969 00:58:05,252 --> 00:58:08,132 Give me a second. 970 00:58:20,420 --> 00:58:23,300 There, like riding a bike. 971 00:58:39,077 --> 00:58:42,980 Will you stop whistling please? I'm trying to sleep over here. 972 00:58:43,204 --> 00:58:45,380 Sleeping too much is a sign of depression. 973 00:58:45,541 --> 00:58:48,260 Keep whistling and I'll put a depression in your skull. 974 00:58:48,612 --> 00:58:51,140 We've. got eight hours before we get to the library. 975 00:58:51,301 --> 00:58:52,301 I'm trying to stay alert. 976 00:58:52,452 --> 00:58:53,452 I hate that song. 977 00:58:53,604 --> 00:58:56,401 - So do I - I made up words to the damn thing. 978 00:58:56,501 --> 00:59:00,740 I made up words to "Hail to the Chief." I sing them to myself when I hear it. 979 00:59:00,964 --> 00:59:02,180 I made up words too. 980 00:59:02,532 --> 00:59:04,100 - Let me hear yours. - You go first. 981 00:59:04,452 --> 00:59:07,332 No, you do yours, then I'll sing mine. 982 00:59:09,124 --> 00:59:11,780 "Hail to the Chief, he's the chief and he needs hailing. 983 00:59:12,325 --> 00:59:16,165 "He is the Chief, so everybody hail like crazy." 984 00:59:16,740 --> 00:59:19,620 That's more or less how it... 985 00:59:20,644 --> 00:59:23,300 Let's hear your version, Gershwin. 986 00:59:23,524 --> 00:59:25,220 "No?" I sang mine. 987 00:59:25,572 --> 00:59:27,492 You're an idiot. 988 00:59:38,404 --> 00:59:41,540 CNN's set up near the park. Maybe you should put this on. 989 00:59:41,700 --> 00:59:43,460 Not so fast, Carl. Slow down. 990 00:59:43,620 --> 00:59:46,340 I don't like people running faster than I do. It makes me look poky. 991 00:59:46,692 --> 00:59:47,634 Sorry. 992 00:59:47,734 --> 00:59:49,516 Lakers? I thought we were sold in Los Angeles. 993 00:59:49,700 --> 00:59:51,620 You cut back on disaster relief. 994 00:59:51,780 --> 00:59:53,540 Too fast again. 995 00:59:53,732 --> 00:59:57,572 I don't want to wear this I'm a Houston fan 996 00:59:58,116 --> 01:00:00,036 Hey, a hat. 997 01:00:02,916 --> 01:00:04,100 Kaye Griffin called today. 998 01:00:04,484 --> 01:00:07,084 She's ready to report that Douglas and Kramer have disappeared... 999 01:00:07,460 --> 01:00:09,860 ...and are working to expose a cover-up. 1000 01:00:10,116 --> 01:00:11,300 I'll look into it. 1001 01:00:11,460 --> 01:00:15,300 You better. I want those idiots found before they dig any deeper. 1002 01:00:27,813 --> 01:00:29,156 What are you doing? 1003 01:00:29,412 --> 01:00:31,076 I needed a cup of coffee. 1004 01:00:31,396 --> 01:00:32,996 Good. Did you get me one? 1005 01:00:33,444 --> 01:00:34,916 You cheap bastard. 1006 01:00:35,172 --> 01:00:36,836 I only had 50 cents. 1007 01:00:36,996 --> 01:00:37,961 Give me a sip. 1008 01:00:38,061 --> 01:00:42,116 Yeah, I'm about to share coffee with the Washington love machine. No dice. 1009 01:00:42,372 --> 01:00:44,997 You could spit in a petri dish and start a whole civilization. 1010 01:00:45,156 --> 01:00:48,036 - Here, want to lick the lid? - Screw, you. 1011 01:00:48,516 --> 01:00:51,010 Give me that. 1012 01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:54,597 Decaf, you pussy. 1013 01:00:54,916 --> 01:00:57,796 I must go find a john. 1014 01:01:13,956 --> 01:01:14,913 Agent Wilkerson. 1015 01:01:15,013 --> 01:01:17,156 We have a reason to believe your life is in danger. 1016 01:01:17,412 --> 01:01:20,292 We must transfer you out of the area. 1017 01:01:21,636 --> 01:01:23,397 "Aye, Macarena!" 1018 01:01:23,876 --> 01:01:26,277 If you could just step out of the car... 1019 01:01:26,596 --> 01:01:27,747 Jesus! 1020 01:01:34,756 --> 01:01:35,702 Hurry up! 1021 01:01:35,802 --> 01:01:36,662 Get in! 1022 01:01:36,762 --> 01:01:37,865 Did we get collision coverage? 1023 01:01:37,965 --> 01:01:39,876 - Why? - Nothing. 1024 01:01:42,564 --> 01:01:44,484 - Look out! - Hold on! 1025 01:02:04,516 --> 01:02:05,637 Get it out. 1026 01:02:05,796 --> 01:02:07,076 I'm trying. 1027 01:02:07,236 --> 01:02:10,116 I can't see! Get it out! 1028 01:02:22,660 --> 01:02:23,260 Go! 1029 01:02:34,756 --> 01:02:37,636 - Nice going, Mario. - Shut up. 1030 01:02:41,316 --> 01:02:42,316 That way! 1031 01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:47,874 Oh, not good. 1032 01:02:50,180 --> 01:02:52,100 Come on, let's go. 1033 01:02:57,060 --> 01:02:59,940 - Now what? - Just blend in 1034 01:03:09,380 --> 01:03:10,380 How are you? 1035 01:03:10,565 --> 01:03:11,542 President Kramer? 1036 01:03:11,642 --> 01:03:13,540 President Douglas? 1037 01:03:13,701 --> 01:03:14,701 This is amazing. 1038 01:03:14,980 --> 01:03:17,860 We march in these all the time 1039 01:03:40,996 --> 01:03:41,996 My Lord and Taylor! 1040 01:03:43,204 --> 01:03:44,105 What are you doing? 1041 01:03:44,205 --> 01:03:44,940 Are you coming out? 1042 01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:46,660 No, no. I've always supported gay rights. 1043 01:03:47,012 --> 01:03:49,892 I'm not coming out. He is. 1044 01:03:51,876 --> 01:03:52,900 Closet case. Sad 1045 01:03:54,052 --> 01:03:55,172 You talking about me? 1046 01:03:57,092 --> 01:03:58,706 Don't hide who you really are. Be brave Here. 1047 01:03:58,806 --> 01:04:00,385 Don't hide who you really are. Be brave. Here 1048 01:04:00,485 --> 01:04:02,020 it's a freedom-ring necklace. 1049 01:04:02,180 --> 01:04:04,100 Wear it with pride. 1050 01:04:05,252 --> 01:04:06,978 Come here 1051 01:04:08,421 --> 01:04:09,394 What's wrong? 1052 01:04:09,494 --> 01:04:10,660 I don't think you can help. 1053 01:04:10,884 --> 01:04:14,724 Unless you and your ruby slippers can get us to Cuyahoga Falls. 1054 01:04:15,141 --> 01:04:18,021 I have some friends who might help. 1055 01:04:48,932 --> 01:04:52,932 After that bike ride, I'm changing my position on an important issue. 1056 01:04:53,093 --> 01:04:56,772 I think the military can definitely use some of those gals. 1057 01:04:56,933 --> 01:04:59,652 Now is this impressive or what? 1058 01:04:59,780 --> 01:05:02,052 Research room is down that way. 1059 01:05:02,212 --> 01:05:04,897 Wait a minute. 1060 01:05:06,500 --> 01:05:09,377 Oh, my. Oh, my. 1061 01:05:10,244 --> 01:05:13,121 How about this? 1062 01:05:17,093 --> 01:05:19,332 Oh, you got to be kidding. 1063 01:05:19,652 --> 01:05:23,172 Our dreams are like our children. 1064 01:05:23,492 --> 01:05:27,012 Don't you fall into the trap. Democrats are full of crap. 1065 01:05:27,140 --> 01:05:29,892 Anything you really like, I can get it for you at cost. 1066 01:05:30,052 --> 01:05:32,292 I feel dirty. 1067 01:05:32,453 --> 01:05:33,732 Have you found it yet? 1068 01:05:33,924 --> 01:05:36,132 Working on it. You never got this. 1069 01:05:36,452 --> 01:05:38,052 I was Time's Man of the Year. 1070 01:05:38,372 --> 01:05:39,337 So was Hitler. 1071 01:05:39,437 --> 01:05:41,252 Not twice. 1072 01:05:42,212 --> 01:05:43,332 Here it is. 1073 01:05:43,524 --> 01:05:46,212 "Chef's log: October 14th, lunch, Oval Office... 1074 01:05:46,340 --> 01:05:48,132 "...President Kramer and Charles Reynolds. 1075 01:05:48,644 --> 01:05:53,444 "Ham-and-cheese omelettes. $6.95 each." What...? 1076 01:05:55,652 --> 01:05:57,252 Where's Haney? 1077 01:05:57,572 --> 01:05:59,492 He isn't here. 1078 01:06:00,932 --> 01:06:04,772 They must've fixed this book too. They knew we were coming. 1079 01:06:05,316 --> 01:06:06,372 Where's your gun? 1080 01:06:06,532 --> 01:06:07,532 I have it. 1081 01:06:07,716 --> 01:06:09,636 In my coat. 1082 01:06:10,820 --> 01:06:12,740 Get that light. 1083 01:06:32,484 --> 01:06:34,244 Great job, Douglas. Oh, God, it's Ben. 1084 01:06:35,780 --> 01:06:36,780 Hurry up with the ice. 1085 01:06:37,124 --> 01:06:39,492 Excuse me! I don't know my way ...around Kramer World. 1086 01:06:39,876 --> 01:06:42,852 Lucky for you we came along when we did. You were in a bad way. 1087 01:06:43,236 --> 01:06:46,692 I can't say I recall that ever happening before... 1088 01:06:46,852 --> 01:06:50,532 ...a book just falling off a shelf like that. 1089 01:06:50,852 --> 01:06:54,372 Is there any way someone could have broken in here? 1090 01:06:54,565 --> 01:06:56,292 No, sir. Not on my shift. 1091 01:06:56,676 --> 01:07:00,132 I just remembered. A young lady gave me an envelope for you. 1092 01:07:00,644 --> 01:07:01,818 Told me to be sure you got it. 1093 01:07:01,918 --> 01:07:05,732 She said she was a friend from Washington. 1094 01:07:06,052 --> 01:07:07,332 What is this? 1095 01:07:07,460 --> 01:07:10,692 "Dear Mr. President: My name is Kathleen Taylor. 1096 01:07:10,852 --> 01:07:14,532 "I'm Charles Reynolds' secretary. 1097 01:07:14,852 --> 01:07:17,892 "Mr. Reynolds has disappeared. I don't know who to turn to. 1098 01:07:18,020 --> 01:07:21,732 "The last people he spoke with were you, President Douglas... 1099 01:07:21,860 --> 01:07:24,132 ...and Carl Witnaur." 1100 01:07:24,260 --> 01:07:26,532 Haney's chief of staff. That son of a bitch. 1101 01:07:26,853 --> 01:07:28,932 He lives outside of D.C. in Chevy Chase. 1102 01:07:29,316 --> 01:07:31,332 I was there recently for a dinner. 1103 01:07:31,524 --> 01:07:34,324 My God, did he put on a spread! Those little chicken livers wrapped... 1104 01:07:34,533 --> 01:07:38,532 ...with bacon on tooth picks... And the dip for the broccoli..... 1105 01:07:38,916 --> 01:07:39,972 Could you focus, please! 1106 01:07:40,484 --> 01:07:42,372 I'm sorry. Look, if we left..... 1107 01:07:42,884 --> 01:07:45,732 If we left now, we could get there by early morning. 1108 01:07:45,892 --> 01:07:47,652 We need to borrow your car, okay? 1109 01:07:48,036 --> 01:07:49,092 Do I have a choice? 1110 01:07:49,285 --> 01:07:51,205 Then it's okay. 1111 01:08:17,636 --> 01:08:18,636 Honey, you're hurting me. 1112 01:08:18,916 --> 01:08:20,036 Better her than me, Carl. 1113 01:08:20,516 --> 01:08:24,356 This is Douglas. I'm with Kramer and a gun's pressed to your head. 1114 01:08:24,516 --> 01:08:27,396 Well, I'm assuming that's your head. 1115 01:08:30,724 --> 01:08:32,516 This is unbelievable. 1116 01:08:32,644 --> 01:08:33,644 How dare you? 1117 01:08:33,892 --> 01:08:35,876 Witnaur, we'll ask this just once. 1118 01:08:36,164 --> 01:08:38,276 What is Olympia and who is behind it? 1119 01:08:38,692 --> 01:08:40,612 I don't know what you talking about. 1120 01:08:56,997 --> 01:08:57,997 I'm glad to see you. 1121 01:08:58,244 --> 01:09:03,717 it's good to see you too, Joe. We could use a little help out here. 1122 01:09:04,004 --> 01:09:05,156 Wait a minute. 1123 01:09:05,572 --> 01:09:10,372 Is that President Kramer holding a gun on a naked guy in a blindfold? 1124 01:09:12,196 --> 01:09:14,306 Come on in. 1125 01:09:17,796 --> 01:09:20,516 Carl, my CIA buddies were clueless about what you're up to... 1126 01:09:20,836 --> 01:09:22,917 ...but they gave me something for this. 1127 01:09:23,396 --> 01:09:24,396 So, my boy... 1128 01:09:24,581 --> 01:09:27,236 ...hope this goes well, it's all new to me. 1129 01:09:27,524 --> 01:09:31,076 I'm not even sure about the dosage but... 1130 01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:32,996 ...what do you say we wing it? 1131 01:09:33,284 --> 01:09:34,916 You don't scare me. 1132 01:09:35,204 --> 01:09:36,198 I'm not trying to. 1133 01:09:36,298 --> 01:09:37,332 We don't want to see this. 1134 01:09:37,540 --> 01:09:39,460 Right. Enjoy the ride. 1135 01:09:52,516 --> 01:09:53,637 Damn vein. 1136 01:09:53,796 --> 01:09:55,557 it's wanting to jump around. 1137 01:09:55,684 --> 01:09:57,477 There it is, you bugger. 1138 01:09:57,764 --> 01:09:59,397 There it is. 1139 01:09:59,524 --> 01:10:00,836 I'll talk. 1140 01:10:01,317 --> 01:10:04,197 I'll talk... I like to talk. 1141 01:10:05,444 --> 01:10:07,364 it's amazing. 1142 01:10:07,685 --> 01:10:11,396 Haney needed to spin-dry the kickback money. That's how Olympia came in. 1143 01:10:11,877 --> 01:10:13,316 It was a front company. 1144 01:10:13,797 --> 01:10:15,717 I never ordered anyone to kill you. 1145 01:10:16,132 --> 01:10:19,012 But you ordered the cover-up. 1146 01:10:19,205 --> 01:10:22,437 The appointment log at the National Archives... 1147 01:10:22,660 --> 01:10:25,317 ...the book in your library..... 1148 01:10:25,732 --> 01:10:27,237 All that was done at my request. 1149 01:10:27,460 --> 01:10:28,676 What about Charlie Reynolds? 1150 01:10:29,092 --> 01:10:30,564 Were you in charge to take care of him? 1151 01:10:30,664 --> 01:10:33,124 No, I never ordered anyone to kill him. 1152 01:10:35,812 --> 01:10:37,732 Who said he was dead? 1153 01:10:38,084 --> 01:10:39,717 Look, Tanner. 1154 01:10:39,940 --> 01:10:42,597 I'm telling you, it was Tanner. This guy is out of control. 1155 01:10:42,756 --> 01:10:44,036 That's a lot of bull! 1156 01:10:44,452 --> 01:10:47,397 You're saying a rogue agent turned hitman in your ranks? 1157 01:10:47,876 --> 01:10:49,317 I don't believe it. 1158 01:10:49,796 --> 01:10:52,356 You had Tanner put us on that chopper and you pushed the button! 1159 01:10:52,676 --> 01:10:54,210 Chopper? 1160 01:10:55,012 --> 01:10:56,868 What chopper? 1161 01:11:00,420 --> 01:11:04,100 Looks like Tanner's been getting his orders from Haney. 1162 01:11:04,516 --> 01:11:06,501 - What do we do? - You got a few options. 1163 01:11:06,660 --> 01:11:09,842 You can go to the White House and tell Haney what you know. 1164 01:11:09,942 --> 01:11:13,221 To get to him you must go through Tanner, who'll kill you. 1165 01:11:13,573 --> 01:11:17,042 - What's the other one? - You got a confession on tape. 1166 01:11:17,142 --> 01:11:18,500 Go to the press. 1167 01:11:18,852 --> 01:11:23,652 I'll call Kaye and by noon Washington will be up to its knees in Olympia. 1168 01:11:25,380 --> 01:11:27,107 Call her? 1169 01:11:29,412 --> 01:11:32,292 You're doing the smart thing. 1170 01:11:33,124 --> 01:11:34,124 Damn! 1171 01:11:34,693 --> 01:11:35,658 Damn! 1172 01:11:35,758 --> 01:11:36,642 What? 1173 01:11:36,742 --> 01:11:40,101 If we go public, there'll be another cover-up. 1174 01:11:40,324 --> 01:11:43,460 Witnaur might pay a price but the big fish's going to get away. 1175 01:11:43,876 --> 01:11:45,842 Are we willing to let that happen? 1176 01:11:45,942 --> 01:11:47,844 We've done enough already. 1177 01:11:48,804 --> 01:11:50,661 No, I made a career of doing enough. 1178 01:11:51,204 --> 01:11:53,541 I always did just enough not to piss anybody off... 1179 01:11:53,956 --> 01:11:55,866 ...'cause a pissed-off person won't vote for you. 1180 01:11:55,966 --> 01:11:57,381 it's a part of the game. 1181 01:11:57,733 --> 01:12:00,740 Tell that to Wayne and Jenny and their kids living in their car. 1182 01:12:01,092 --> 01:12:02,660 "I'm sorry things are tough. 1183 01:12:02,884 --> 01:12:05,538 "I've been playing the game." I can't play it anymore. 1184 01:12:05,638 --> 01:12:07,941 - I'm going to see Haney. - Hold on, Rambo. 1185 01:12:08,100 --> 01:12:10,322 Joe said you can't get past Tanner. 1186 01:12:10,422 --> 01:12:11,420 I don't care. I'm going. 1187 01:12:11,524 --> 01:12:13,444 You're a damn fool. 1188 01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:19,620 You're probably right. 1189 01:12:20,100 --> 01:12:24,261 But you know something, somewhere out there there's another fool. 1190 01:12:24,676 --> 01:12:29,476 Some idealist sucker who still believes in us. 1191 01:12:30,244 --> 01:12:34,820 After all the scandals and the party politics and all the bull... 1192 01:12:34,980 --> 01:12:39,140 ...someone out there believes we care and will do what we promise. 1193 01:12:39,364 --> 01:12:42,500 And that's what I'm doing now. I'm doing what I promised. 1194 01:12:42,916 --> 01:12:44,900 Preserve, protect and defend. 1195 01:12:45,124 --> 01:12:46,340 Because if we lose that... 1196 01:12:46,884 --> 01:12:51,140 ...idealistic, gloriously deluded fool out there, hey... 1197 01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:53,220 ...it's all over. 1198 01:12:54,724 --> 01:12:57,380 Thank God you never spoke like this during our debates. 1199 01:12:57,796 --> 01:13:00,676 My margin of loss would've been staggering. 1200 01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:04,300 All right. 1201 01:13:04,932 --> 01:13:06,020 Let's do it. 1202 01:13:06,372 --> 01:13:07,322 You sure? 1203 01:13:07,422 --> 01:13:11,762 If I can ride 300 miles at top speed holding onto a lesbian's midsection... 1204 01:13:11,862 --> 01:13:12,860 ...I can handle Tanner. 1205 01:13:13,092 --> 01:13:15,140 If we do get to Haney. 1206 01:13:15,492 --> 01:13:17,060 ...how do we know he'll cooperate? 1207 01:13:17,284 --> 01:13:20,900 I'm bringing Witnaur with us. Learn from the master. 1208 01:13:21,252 --> 01:13:22,252 Gentlemen... 1209 01:13:22,564 --> 01:13:24,242 ...Kaye's on her way over. 1210 01:13:24,342 --> 01:13:29,093 Change of plans. Mr. Kramer and Mr. Douglas are going to Washington. 1211 01:13:37,733 --> 01:13:41,573 Kramer and Douglas broke into Witnaur's house and kidnapped him. 1212 01:13:41,764 --> 01:13:43,076 We're just now hearing about it? 1213 01:13:43,493 --> 01:13:45,476 His lady called the White House. 1214 01:13:45,604 --> 01:13:47,204 - They thought it was a prank. - Enough. 1215 01:13:47,396 --> 01:13:50,756 We better button up the White House. If they get to the president... 1216 01:13:50,884 --> 01:13:52,804 ...the game's over. 1217 01:14:03,653 --> 01:14:04,626 'Morning, Rita. 1218 01:14:04,726 --> 01:14:05,656 How're you? 1219 01:14:05,756 --> 01:14:08,516 I'd be doing better if I had your blueberry muffins. 1220 01:14:08,676 --> 01:14:12,356 Soon as I tend to the president, I'll see what I can do. 1221 01:14:12,516 --> 01:14:13,516 What's back there? 1222 01:14:13,732 --> 01:14:17,156 Picked up a lot of fresh produce at the farmer's market. 1223 01:14:17,572 --> 01:14:19,492 Have a pick if you like. 1224 01:14:20,452 --> 01:14:22,916 That's okay, Rita. You have a good one. 1225 01:14:23,076 --> 01:14:24,076 Thanks. 1226 01:14:30,820 --> 01:14:32,516 "Have a pick if you like"? 1227 01:14:32,804 --> 01:14:35,444 - You're lucky I didn't have a stroke. - Wasn't that little risky? 1228 01:14:37,253 --> 01:14:38,346 Mr. Presidents, please hush up. 1229 01:14:38,446 --> 01:14:40,420 If you're in my car, you're produce. 1230 01:14:43,300 --> 01:14:44,996 Mr. President... 1231 01:14:45,220 --> 01:14:47,140 ...we're ready' sir. 1232 01:14:48,004 --> 01:14:51,716 The ceremony honoring the Dutch resistance during World War II? 1233 01:14:52,004 --> 01:14:56,036 Highlight of my day. Who cares about the damn Dutch anyway? 1234 01:14:56,164 --> 01:14:58,436 Vice President Mathews is going? 1235 01:14:58,564 --> 01:15:00,836 Let's avoid a possible embarrassment, okay? 1236 01:15:01,060 --> 01:15:05,636 Remind him these people are from the Netherlands, not nether regions. 1237 01:15:05,924 --> 01:15:07,556 Oh, and... 1238 01:15:07,780 --> 01:15:08,996 ...have we heard from Witnaur? 1239 01:15:09,412 --> 01:15:10,436 No, Mr. President. 1240 01:15:10,724 --> 01:15:12,642 Thank you. 1241 01:15:15,236 --> 01:15:17,236 Gather around everyone. The tour's about to begin. 1242 01:15:17,380 --> 01:15:18,380 Come on in. 1243 01:15:18,532 --> 01:15:19,556 Come in, you in the back. 1244 01:15:20,036 --> 01:15:21,476 We can't go that way. 1245 01:15:21,892 --> 01:15:23,972 A million people come to the White House every year. 1246 01:15:24,356 --> 01:15:27,716 Better smile, they'll know we're here in ten seconds. 1247 01:15:28,196 --> 01:15:29,730 Come on. 1248 01:15:31,204 --> 01:15:32,996 Are you ready for the tour? 1249 01:15:33,124 --> 01:15:35,604 - What are you doing?! - It's the only way we'll get to Haney. 1250 01:15:35,812 --> 01:15:36,836 Mr. President... 1251 01:15:36,964 --> 01:15:38,276 ...and Mr. President. 1252 01:15:38,436 --> 01:15:41,156 The tour guides are the hardest working people in the White House. 1253 01:15:41,477 --> 01:15:43,076 As a way of saying "Thank you"... 1254 01:15:43,236 --> 01:15:45,956 ...President Kramer and I lead your tour ourselves. 1255 01:15:46,116 --> 01:15:47,116 We'll what? 1256 01:15:47,332 --> 01:15:48,836 You get the Oval Office..... 1257 01:15:53,092 --> 01:15:54,345 Who knows this place better than us? 1258 01:15:54,445 --> 01:15:55,257 Let's go. Gather around. 1259 01:15:55,716 --> 01:15:57,476 Follow your presidents. 1260 01:15:57,892 --> 01:16:01,732 Come along. This is going to be fun for you. 1261 01:16:06,596 --> 01:16:08,036 ...they're in. 1262 01:16:08,196 --> 01:16:09,476 - How? - They used the tour. 1263 01:16:09,764 --> 01:16:10,916 This is the Green Room. 1264 01:16:11,141 --> 01:16:12,206 - It's a room - it's green. 1265 01:16:12,306 --> 01:16:13,234 Hence the name. 1266 01:16:13,334 --> 01:16:14,237 - Any questions? - Not me. 1267 01:16:14,337 --> 01:16:15,716 Okay, shall we? 1268 01:16:16,196 --> 01:16:17,190 That's it? 1269 01:16:17,290 --> 01:16:18,596 Go, go, go. 1270 01:16:18,724 --> 01:16:20,516 We grab them as soon as we can. 1271 01:16:20,741 --> 01:16:22,436 Lots of people have seen them. 1272 01:16:22,661 --> 01:16:25,316 They met here to take the chopper to the ceremonies... 1273 01:16:25,636 --> 01:16:28,516 ...where the president was to meet them later. 1274 01:16:30,756 --> 01:16:34,436 The crash site is still secure We just adjust the time of the crash. 1275 01:16:34,724 --> 01:16:35,681 It could work. 1276 01:16:35,781 --> 01:16:38,500 I'll stay near Hayne. As soon as you get them, call me. 1277 01:16:40,196 --> 01:16:42,596 Occasionally we. use this as a shortcut to the Oval Office. 1278 01:16:42,724 --> 01:16:47,524 Let's pick up the pace. The older folks are dragging us down. 1279 01:16:52,292 --> 01:16:54,756 There's no way they can get out of the building. 1280 01:16:54,980 --> 01:16:57,156 We've sealed off the West Wing. 1281 01:16:57,573 --> 01:16:59,493 Guest quarters. 1282 01:17:10,053 --> 01:17:11,076 Unlock the door. 1283 01:17:11,236 --> 01:17:12,182 Come on. 1284 01:17:12,282 --> 01:17:13,508 That desk belonged to Jefferson. 1285 01:17:13,700 --> 01:17:16,356 The Declaration of Independence could have been written on it. 1286 01:17:16,484 --> 01:17:19,236 Tom isn't here to help me pick it up, so move your ass! 1287 01:17:19,652 --> 01:17:21,636 Mr. Presidents, please! 1288 01:17:21,860 --> 01:17:24,996 When we think of the Netherlands, no doubt we have images of... 1289 01:17:25,412 --> 01:17:28,836 ...a tranquil land dotted with picturesque windmills. 1290 01:17:29,252 --> 01:17:32,676 Good. Secure the room, but do not move in until I get there. 1291 01:17:33,092 --> 01:17:35,972 And Wilkerson, call the press. 1292 01:17:39,812 --> 01:17:42,276 I found Haney. He's on the South Lawn. 1293 01:17:42,692 --> 01:17:43,716 I don't like this. 1294 01:17:44,261 --> 01:17:47,556 They've pinned us here for 15 minutes. What're they doing? 1295 01:17:47,716 --> 01:17:49,636 Preparing for our funeral. 1296 01:17:50,084 --> 01:17:52,356 The report just came in from the White House. 1297 01:17:52,612 --> 01:17:56,196 The helicopter went down over the Blue Ridge mountains. 1298 01:17:56,356 --> 01:17:59,556 President Kramer and President Douglas were reportedly on board. 1299 01:17:59,812 --> 01:18:02,692 Search teams are speeding to the area. 1300 01:18:09,572 --> 01:18:12,066 Phone's dead. 1301 01:18:12,836 --> 01:18:13,956 What are you doing? 1302 01:18:14,212 --> 01:18:18,756 During my years here, a butler told me about a secret door in this room 1303 01:18:18,916 --> 01:18:23,556 The "Kennedy Door" he called it. I think it was just a story. 1304 01:18:23,812 --> 01:18:25,539 It's here 1305 01:18:26,276 --> 01:18:28,196 I almost forgot. 1306 01:18:32,932 --> 01:18:34,116 What are you looking at? 1307 01:18:34,564 --> 01:18:37,956 You been down to the farmer's market lately? it's brutal. 1308 01:18:38,500 --> 01:18:41,796 I used this thing for a couple of midnight rendezvous. 1309 01:18:42,117 --> 01:18:43,716 I'll never forget this one girl... 1310 01:18:44,132 --> 01:18:45,636 She was a stewardess. 1311 01:18:45,892 --> 01:18:46,892 I don't need to know. 1312 01:18:47,140 --> 01:18:48,516 She was also a contortionist. 1313 01:18:48,932 --> 01:18:49,878 Go on. 1314 01:18:49,978 --> 01:18:50,924 She... Later. 1315 01:18:51,172 --> 01:18:54,052 Right now, we must get to that ceremony. 1316 01:18:55,780 --> 01:18:59,076 If we can get ourselves seen on TV everyone will know... 1317 01:18:59,204 --> 01:19:00,996 ...we're not dead in the mountains... 1318 01:19:01,540 --> 01:19:04,420 ...and tanner is out of business. 1319 01:19:05,476 --> 01:19:07,202 Break it. 1320 01:19:17,476 --> 01:19:19,396 Where the hell are they? 1321 01:19:20,932 --> 01:19:21,932 Hurry up. 1322 01:19:22,180 --> 01:19:27,940 Be glad I'm not Gerry Ford. We would be lying at the bottom of the stairs. 1323 01:19:30,052 --> 01:19:33,636 It's been a while, but I think the way out is down to the left. 1324 01:19:33,796 --> 01:19:36,037 God, this whole thing is crazy. 1325 01:19:36,164 --> 01:19:39,877 I can't figure how a twisted psycho like Tanner end up in the NSA. 1326 01:19:40,420 --> 01:19:44,260 I know. Why isn't he in the postal service where he belongs? 1327 01:19:45,412 --> 01:19:46,365 Great. 1328 01:19:46,465 --> 01:19:47,557 "down and to the left." 1329 01:19:47,876 --> 01:19:51,397 Oh, cork it. It's not the end of the world. 1330 01:19:51,524 --> 01:19:52,836 Hello, sirs. 1331 01:19:53,252 --> 01:19:57,092 No need for concern it's only me, the twisted psycho. 1332 01:19:57,476 --> 01:19:59,077 We won't have a long chat. 1333 01:19:59,396 --> 01:20:02,917 I don't think I can stand to listen to you for another second. 1334 01:20:03,076 --> 01:20:04,076 I'll just kill you. 1335 01:20:05,252 --> 01:20:06,757 Who goes first? 1336 01:20:07,300 --> 01:20:10,180 The old man, or the ladies' man? 1337 01:20:15,076 --> 01:20:16,357 Nice work, Russell. 1338 01:20:16,772 --> 01:20:18,690 Thank you. 1339 01:20:19,492 --> 01:20:22,436 I must change my shorts now. 1340 01:20:28,676 --> 01:20:31,556 Pennsylvania Avenue's almost clear. 1341 01:20:34,436 --> 01:20:35,716 Here we are. 1342 01:20:35,876 --> 01:20:38,596 Watch it, watch it. 1343 01:20:38,820 --> 01:20:41,956 It's the North Lawn. We're on the other side of where we want to be. 1344 01:20:42,116 --> 01:20:43,116 Good going. 1345 01:20:43,332 --> 01:20:46,212 I didn't build the damn tunnel 1346 01:20:48,356 --> 01:20:50,116 - Now what? - Who am I, fucking MacGyver? 1347 01:20:50,532 --> 01:20:52,036 I make this up as I go along. 1348 01:20:52,580 --> 01:20:54,500 Over there! 1349 01:20:58,820 --> 01:21:00,354 Hang on! 1350 01:21:03,876 --> 01:21:04,916 Hold it! Stop right there! 1351 01:21:05,060 --> 01:21:07,876 Get off the horse! 1352 01:21:08,292 --> 01:21:10,276 We can't get cars through the block. 1353 01:21:10,500 --> 01:21:13,380 Run after them, I'll cut them off. 1354 01:21:19,556 --> 01:21:24,356 When this is over, let's come back and look for my balls. 1355 01:21:26,756 --> 01:21:28,676 Mr. Presidents, stop! 1356 01:21:30,756 --> 01:21:34,276 Marksmen, intruders, North Lawn. This is Tanner going to intercept. 1357 01:21:34,692 --> 01:21:35,716 Shoot to kill! 1358 01:21:35,941 --> 01:21:38,821 We're moving into position now. 1359 01:21:48,996 --> 01:21:50,596 Wait, hold your fire. 1360 01:21:51,140 --> 01:21:52,598 That's Presidents Kramer and Douglas. 1361 01:21:52,698 --> 01:21:53,649 That's impossible! 1362 01:21:53,749 --> 01:21:54,916 The presidents are dead! 1363 01:21:55,332 --> 01:21:57,252 Shoot them! 1364 01:21:58,916 --> 01:22:01,636 Repositioning to the south. 1365 01:22:01,796 --> 01:22:06,596 These people, bound by love of country, risked their lives 1366 01:22:07,076 --> 01:22:08,996 Open the gate! 1367 01:22:12,260 --> 01:22:13,260 Nice horsey. 1368 01:22:13,604 --> 01:22:15,138 Oh, God! 1369 01:22:16,132 --> 01:22:18,052 On your command, sir. 1370 01:22:23,620 --> 01:22:24,940 I gave you a direct order! Shoot! 1371 01:22:25,636 --> 01:22:26,916 Lieutenant Fleming... 1372 01:22:27,077 --> 01:22:29,957 ...request... permission to shoot. 1373 01:22:32,837 --> 01:22:33,837 Duck! 1374 01:22:34,532 --> 01:22:36,452 It was a struggle for democracy. 1375 01:22:37,796 --> 01:22:38,916 For truth 1376 01:22:39,076 --> 01:22:41,956 We must fire, sir! 1377 01:22:44,996 --> 01:22:47,876 It was a struggle between life and death. 1378 01:22:56,804 --> 01:22:58,724 Those are the presidents. 1379 01:23:05,572 --> 01:23:08,178 In conclusion, I'd like to say that... 1380 01:23:08,278 --> 01:23:10,596 ...it is our pleasure to welcome... 1381 01:23:10,756 --> 01:23:13,636 ...these Dutch resistance fighters here... 1382 01:23:16,997 --> 01:23:19,716 Would somebody go collect Blinky? 1383 01:23:20,516 --> 01:23:22,116 Let him come ahead. 1384 01:23:22,276 --> 01:23:24,036 What a surprise! 1385 01:23:24,164 --> 01:23:28,004 Ladies gentlemen President Matthew Douglas. 1386 01:23:30,052 --> 01:23:31,716 Thank you. Thank you. 1387 01:23:31,844 --> 01:23:33,156 We have to talk... 1388 01:23:33,284 --> 01:23:34,627 ...now. 1389 01:23:38,117 --> 01:23:40,740 Haney had to spin-dry the kickback money. 1390 01:23:41,220 --> 01:23:42,300 That's how Olympia came in. 1391 01:23:42,660 --> 01:23:43,660 Russell, please. 1392 01:23:43,781 --> 01:23:45,027 There must be a way around this. 1393 01:23:45,127 --> 01:23:46,500 I'll give you anything you want. 1394 01:23:46,661 --> 01:23:47,626 I have money. 1395 01:23:47,726 --> 01:23:51,780 Pardon? Are you honestly saying that Russell P. Kramer can be bought? 1396 01:23:52,324 --> 01:23:53,289 Shut up. 1397 01:23:53,389 --> 01:23:56,100 Why resign? I know nothing about Reynold's death or the crash. 1398 01:23:56,644 --> 01:23:58,980 Okay, all right. I admit I used the office. 1399 01:23:59,141 --> 01:24:01,380 But how is that different from what you're doing? 1400 01:24:01,636 --> 01:24:02,916 You made money from this office. 1401 01:24:03,300 --> 01:24:04,300 Two things. 1402 01:24:04,645 --> 01:24:07,140 One... I never did anything illegal. 1403 01:24:07,525 --> 01:24:09,060 Big difference. Two... 1404 01:24:09,316 --> 01:24:10,500 I never did it for money. 1405 01:24:10,884 --> 01:24:13,380 - Come on! Sure you did! - No, no, you just don't get it. 1406 01:24:13,860 --> 01:24:18,180 My books, personal appearances, I do them so people still know I'm here. 1407 01:24:18,564 --> 01:24:20,484 So they don't forget me. 1408 01:24:22,660 --> 01:24:26,340 And so I can get just a little taste of... 1409 01:24:26,820 --> 01:24:29,700 ...what it's like to be... 1410 01:24:31,781 --> 01:24:34,466 ...what I was. 1411 01:24:37,764 --> 01:24:39,300 This office has done a lot for me! 1412 01:24:39,620 --> 01:24:42,500 Now I'll do something for it... get you out! 1413 01:24:44,644 --> 01:24:47,940 Excuse me, sirs. I'm Agent Kopeck, in charge of the White House detail. 1414 01:24:48,420 --> 01:24:50,340 This is Officer Ralph Fleming. 1415 01:24:50,724 --> 01:24:51,780 He stopped Colonel Tanner. 1416 01:24:52,260 --> 01:24:53,700 Thank you Ralph. 1417 01:24:53,861 --> 01:24:54,826 You saved our lives. 1418 01:24:54,926 --> 01:24:56,132 it's an honor to meet you, son. 1419 01:24:56,484 --> 01:24:58,020 Actually, we've met before... 1420 01:24:58,180 --> 01:24:59,940 We have? Where? 1421 01:25:00,100 --> 01:25:02,980 Somewhere... "over the rainbow." 1422 01:25:18,180 --> 01:25:19,652 And so... 1423 01:25:19,812 --> 01:25:21,572 ...it is with a heavy heart... 1424 01:25:22,020 --> 01:25:24,900 ...and ironically, a weak heart... 1425 01:25:25,924 --> 01:25:27,332 ...that I resign... 1426 01:25:27,684 --> 01:25:30,212 ...from the office of President of the United States. 1427 01:25:30,724 --> 01:25:32,132 Poor President Haney. 1428 01:25:32,356 --> 01:25:35,012 Don't you worry, Rita. He'll be just fine. 1429 01:25:35,524 --> 01:25:37,892 You haven't lost your touch. 1430 01:25:38,340 --> 01:25:40,292 I miss you too. 1431 01:25:40,452 --> 01:25:45,092 I was finally getting used to him. Now I must start all over again. 1432 01:25:45,540 --> 01:25:48,420 President Matthews. 1433 01:25:49,636 --> 01:25:52,772 Who would have ever thought of that? 1434 01:25:52,996 --> 01:25:54,692 President Matthews. 1435 01:25:54,853 --> 01:25:59,492 There's only one way that moron was ever going to become... 1436 01:25:59,653 --> 01:26:00,603 ...president. 1437 01:26:00,703 --> 01:26:02,372 Either Haney would be assassinated... 1438 01:26:02,724 --> 01:26:04,644 ...or he'd have to... 1439 01:26:06,436 --> 01:26:07,652 ...resign. 1440 01:26:08,004 --> 01:26:11,492 I'm convinced that it's for the nation's good... 1441 01:26:11,652 --> 01:26:14,372 ...that I step aside. 1442 01:26:14,884 --> 01:26:16,292 Two more minutes. 1443 01:26:16,452 --> 01:26:17,732 Thank you. I'll be ready. 1444 01:26:18,180 --> 01:26:20,612 We need to talk, and right now. 1445 01:26:20,773 --> 01:26:23,012 Will you excuse us a minute? 1446 01:26:23,364 --> 01:26:24,364 What's up? 1447 01:26:24,484 --> 01:26:26,852 - We figured it out. - You'll never get away with it. 1448 01:26:27,076 --> 01:26:30,212 I already did. Chief Justice Rehnquist just swore me in. 1449 01:26:30,373 --> 01:26:34,052 I'm about to go on television and reluctantly accept my charge. 1450 01:26:34,404 --> 01:26:35,492 You sent Tanner to kill us. 1451 01:26:35,940 --> 01:26:38,340 We investigate Olympia, wind up dead, it gets tied to Haney. 1452 01:26:38,884 --> 01:26:40,772 Either way, he goes down. 1453 01:26:40,996 --> 01:26:42,212 You're right. 1454 01:26:42,564 --> 01:26:44,612 Only a few unfortunate deaths... 1455 01:26:44,964 --> 01:26:47,012 ...but they can be blamed on Tanner. 1456 01:26:47,364 --> 01:26:49,412 He won't be a Joint Chief after all. 1457 01:26:49,860 --> 01:26:52,772 How do you explain us being here? Are we both dead? 1458 01:26:53,220 --> 01:26:55,172 Your chopper definitely went down. 1459 01:26:55,333 --> 01:26:57,572 Thankfully it turned out you weren't on board. 1460 01:26:58,084 --> 01:27:02,372 Press secretary's already apologized for any confusion. 1461 01:27:02,756 --> 01:27:03,702 Thirty seconds. 1462 01:27:03,802 --> 01:27:04,726 Thank you. 1463 01:27:04,826 --> 01:27:05,804 Well, gentlemen... 1464 01:27:06,180 --> 01:27:10,020 ...if you ask me, this whole thing's been a real coup. 1465 01:27:10,500 --> 01:27:11,972 Funny thing, isn't it? 1466 01:27:12,132 --> 01:27:14,372 Everyone thinks I'm an idiot. 1467 01:27:14,533 --> 01:27:18,373 But nobody knows it was all just a big facade. 1468 01:27:20,484 --> 01:27:22,404 Who's the idiot now? 1469 01:27:31,172 --> 01:27:33,092 - Good to see you. - Welcome home, sir. 1470 01:27:37,636 --> 01:27:38,796 I guess that's all she wrote. 1471 01:27:41,092 --> 01:27:43,972 Want to know what gives me the red ass? 1472 01:27:44,420 --> 01:27:46,180 He damn near got away with it. 1473 01:27:46,436 --> 01:27:48,580 What do you mean "damn near"? 1474 01:27:48,836 --> 01:27:50,500 You got the whole conversation on tape? 1475 01:27:50,852 --> 01:27:52,900 I learned from the master. 1476 01:27:53,252 --> 01:27:57,700 The only problem is if I drop this off at CNN Matthews gets thrown out... 1477 01:27:57,956 --> 01:27:59,620 ...according to the 25th Amendment... 1478 01:27:59,844 --> 01:28:01,786 ...the Speaker of the House will become president. 1479 01:28:01,886 --> 01:28:03,460 God, anybody but him. 1480 01:28:03,620 --> 01:28:04,620 Tell me about it. 1481 01:28:04,772 --> 01:28:07,780 But I guess we have no choice. We did everything we could. 1482 01:28:08,260 --> 01:28:12,580 I'll go home, kiss my wife, take a shower and go to bed for a month. 1483 01:28:12,741 --> 01:28:14,020 Sounds good. 1484 01:28:14,565 --> 01:28:16,900 You know something? I must tell you..... 1485 01:28:17,156 --> 01:28:20,721 After going through this whole thing... 1486 01:28:20,821 --> 01:28:22,660 ...I’ve realized... 1487 01:28:23,140 --> 01:28:24,220 ...I really don't like you. 1488 01:28:24,580 --> 01:28:25,580 No kidding. 1489 01:28:25,733 --> 01:28:28,420 That's not what I wanted to say. 1490 01:28:28,676 --> 01:28:30,596 The thing is... 1491 01:28:31,076 --> 01:28:33,220 ...I don't like you. 1492 01:28:33,476 --> 01:28:34,627 But... 1493 01:28:35,812 --> 01:28:38,020 ...I think I'm going to... 1494 01:28:38,276 --> 01:28:40,196 ...miss you. 1495 01:28:42,020 --> 01:28:44,738 If we hadn't spent 30 years hating each other's guts... 1496 01:28:44,838 --> 01:28:47,122 ...we might have been... 1497 01:28:47,222 --> 01:28:49,125 ...friends. 1498 01:28:52,676 --> 01:28:54,340 I think I'll stop there... 1499 01:28:54,500 --> 01:28:58,340 ...because I feel the goat cheese pizza backing up on me. 1500 01:29:04,356 --> 01:29:05,309 You take care of yourself. 1501 01:29:05,409 --> 01:29:06,148 And... 1502 01:29:06,248 --> 01:29:06,994 ...don't jump off trains. 1503 01:29:07,094 --> 01:29:08,242 I was pushed. 1504 01:29:08,342 --> 01:29:10,245 Same difference. 1505 01:29:20,132 --> 01:29:23,620 "Hail to the Chief, if you don't I'll have to kill you. 1506 01:29:23,780 --> 01:29:25,060 "I am the Chief. 1507 01:29:25,444 --> 01:29:28,402 "So you better watch your step, you bastards." 1508 01:29:28,502 --> 01:29:30,405 We're even. 1509 01:29:42,596 --> 01:29:44,516 I was told what you went through. 1510 01:29:45,092 --> 01:29:47,012 It's amazing. 1511 01:29:48,293 --> 01:29:50,532 Yes, I guess it was. 1512 01:29:50,692 --> 01:29:54,532 Now you can go home to Cleveland for a well-deserved rest. 1513 01:29:55,365 --> 01:29:58,245 When it comes time for a rest... 1514 01:29:58,853 --> 01:30:01,733 ...there's no place like Cleveland. 1515 01:30:03,332 --> 01:30:05,412 This must've been a difficult experience. 1516 01:30:05,732 --> 01:30:06,852 It was pretty bad. 1517 01:30:07,172 --> 01:30:09,252 But on some level... 1518 01:30:09,700 --> 01:30:11,172 ...I enjoyed it. 1519 01:30:12,260 --> 01:30:14,372 It was just nice to do something and... 1520 01:30:14,692 --> 01:30:15,972 ...have a goal again. 1521 01:30:16,484 --> 01:30:19,332 I think it was a great service you did for your country. 1522 01:30:19,556 --> 01:30:22,436 Most people would've given up. 1523 01:30:22,916 --> 01:30:26,532 You and President Kramer did everything you could. 1524 01:30:27,588 --> 01:30:29,860 I'm proud to be attached to you. 1525 01:30:37,124 --> 01:30:38,124 No, Chet... 1526 01:30:38,564 --> 01:30:40,452 ...you're wrong. 1527 01:30:40,772 --> 01:30:43,652 We didn't do everything we could. 1528 01:30:44,132 --> 01:30:46,692 Nine months after he took the oath of office... 1529 01:30:46,916 --> 01:30:49,572 ...former president and convicted felon Ted Matthews. 1530 01:30:49,732 --> 01:30:53,892 ...today began serving his sentence at a federal prison in Stafford, Virginia. 1531 01:30:54,212 --> 01:30:57,252 But, unlike other political scandals of the past... 1532 01:30:57,412 --> 01:31:00,132 ...this one as spawned an unusual coupling. 1533 01:31:00,356 --> 01:31:05,156 For that story, we take you to correspondent Kaye Griffin. 1534 01:31:06,884 --> 01:31:09,732 Two of America's biggest political rivals are making history. 1535 01:31:10,053 --> 01:31:15,012 Running together as independents are ex-Presidents Kramer and Douglas. 1536 01:31:15,460 --> 01:31:18,340 I come to this country with those fellows. 1537 01:31:18,532 --> 01:31:19,482 However... 1538 01:31:19,582 --> 01:31:23,172 ...we don't know who will be running as president and who as vice president. 1539 01:31:23,684 --> 01:31:28,484 I'm not ashamed to say it, I slept with both those guys. 1540 01:31:30,404 --> 01:31:31,812 My love. 1541 01:31:32,260 --> 01:31:34,212 - Any words of wisdom? - Of course. 1542 01:31:34,532 --> 01:31:35,652 Don't be a frigging fool. 1543 01:31:36,164 --> 01:31:39,492 Please, if you're going to use the F-word, go for the gold. 1544 01:31:39,813 --> 01:31:40,932 Excuse us. 1545 01:31:41,381 --> 01:31:43,812 - Ready to face the voting public? - Let's do it. 1546 01:31:45,060 --> 01:31:46,212 I'll make the announcement. 1547 01:31:46,372 --> 01:31:49,092 You're saying I'm going to be president... 1548 01:31:49,413 --> 01:31:51,972 ...and you vice president, correct? 1549 01:31:52,100 --> 01:31:54,372 After all we did, you still don't trust me? 1550 01:31:54,821 --> 01:31:55,821 I trust you. 1551 01:31:56,324 --> 01:31:57,266 Thank you. 1552 01:31:57,366 --> 01:31:58,692 Like you me. I'll announce it. 1553 01:31:59,013 --> 01:32:01,092 We agreed that I would do it. 1554 01:32:01,412 --> 01:32:03,012 - Let go, please. - No I won't. 1555 01:32:03,524 --> 01:32:05,892 I'm not letting go either. 1556 01:32:06,052 --> 01:32:07,052 Move, old man. 1557 01:32:07,332 --> 01:32:10,212 No way, sleazebag. 1558 01:32:10,596 --> 01:32:11,747 Money! 1559 01:32:12,589 --> 01:32:13,827 Did you drop that? 1560 01:32:14,564 --> 01:32:15,972 Yeah, that's mine. 1561 01:32:16,293 --> 01:32:17,762 My fellow Americans... 1562 01:32:17,982 --> 01:32:19,556 You son of a...