1
00:00:23,298 --> 00:00:26,049
I think that there's
something wrong with me.
2
00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:30,114
For some reason I find that
the girls that I like as human beings,
3
00:00:30,115 --> 00:00:31,810
I'm not sexually attracted to,
4
00:00:31,811 --> 00:00:33,763
and the ones that I am
sexually attracted to,
5
00:00:33,764 --> 00:00:35,683
I don't particularly
like as human beings...
6
00:00:35,684 --> 00:00:37,571
and on the rare occasion when
one falls in both categories,
7
00:00:37,572 --> 00:00:40,388
they usually have a
boyfriend or a husband...
8
00:00:40,389 --> 00:00:42,244
and Lord knows I've got
enough of that bad karma
9
00:00:42,245 --> 00:00:43,780
to last me a lifetime.
10
00:00:43,781 --> 00:00:48,422
These are classic Freudian
symptoms, Conrad.
11
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:52,106
Haven't you ever read
about defense mechanisms?
12
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,007
Actually I've always considered myself
13
00:00:56,008 --> 00:00:57,320
more of a Jungian.
14
00:02:18,967 --> 00:02:21,238
Your phone is ringing again.
15
00:02:21,239 --> 00:02:22,742
Please stop talking.
16
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,663
You stop talking.
17
00:02:24,664 --> 00:02:25,623
All right.
18
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,256
Morning.
19
00:02:31,257 --> 00:02:32,217
It's 1 p.m.
20
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:33,208
Afternoon.
21
00:02:33,209 --> 00:02:34,585
Conrad Valmont?
22
00:02:34,586 --> 00:02:36,537
Yes, it's Conrad Valmont.
23
00:02:36,538 --> 00:02:38,457
Oh, yes, Security will be there
24
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,593
within the hour to escort
you from the premises.
25
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:42,779
What?
26
00:02:44,475 --> 00:02:46,533
But I've lived here since birth.
27
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,918
This is Conrad Valmont.
28
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:01,501
Conrad was the son of a
Grecian entrepreneur
29
00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:03,774
and a Caledonian debutante.
30
00:03:03,775 --> 00:03:08,191
His father, Jean-Louis Valmont,
owned The Valmont Hotel
31
00:03:08,192 --> 00:03:11,043
as had his father and
his father before him.
32
00:03:12,687 --> 00:03:14,303
Their country home in Great Neck
33
00:03:14,304 --> 00:03:16,993
was the pantheon of summer gatherings.
34
00:03:16,994 --> 00:03:19,105
On the eve of his 51st year,
35
00:03:19,106 --> 00:03:20,738
Jean-Louis took Conrad's mother
36
00:03:20,739 --> 00:03:22,146
to the south of France
37
00:03:22,147 --> 00:03:24,866
on what was to be a weekend excursion.
38
00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:27,010
It had since turned into a lavish escapade
39
00:03:27,011 --> 00:03:30,723
around the world, lasting
nearly three decades.
40
00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:32,323
Over he subsequent years,
41
00:03:32,324 --> 00:03:34,756
Conrad was raised by The Valmont's staff.
42
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,676
His chauffeur, Bernard,
43
00:03:36,677 --> 00:03:38,564
had taken Conrad to a Parisian brothel
44
00:03:38,565 --> 00:03:40,452
for his 13th birthday
45
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:45,125
as a sort of rite of passage
into polite society.
46
00:03:45,126 --> 00:03:47,048
It was a family tradition.
47
00:03:48,007 --> 00:03:51,399
At present, he was working
on his magnum opus,
48
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,648
a great New York novel
49
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:56,392
in the tradition of
Fitzgerald and Edith Wharton.
50
00:03:56,393 --> 00:03:58,376
It was widely speculated as to where he was
51
00:03:58,377 --> 00:04:00,040
in the process of writing it.
52
00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:02,153
When asked, he would simply reply,
53
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,592
I'm in the gathering stages.
54
00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:07,017
Conrad had been in the gathering stages
55
00:04:07,018 --> 00:04:09,034
for several years now.
56
00:04:09,035 --> 00:04:12,267
Last week Thursday, Conrad's
parents had capsized
57
00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:14,538
and had become stranded on a small island
58
00:04:14,539 --> 00:04:15,787
in the Mediterranean.
59
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,676
Having to spend numerous days together
60
00:04:17,677 --> 00:04:19,436
without the distractions of wealth
61
00:04:19,437 --> 00:04:20,780
and a transient lifestyle,
62
00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:23,277
they've come to a simple realization,
63
00:04:23,277 --> 00:04:25,709
they didn't particularly like one another.
64
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:28,813
Conrad's parents were to
divorce by the week's end
65
00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:30,381
and neither wanted to continue paying
66
00:04:30,382 --> 00:04:33,614
for Conrad's extravagant lifestyle.
67
00:04:33,615 --> 00:04:36,014
Hence, the Valmont board of trustees
68
00:04:36,015 --> 00:04:37,808
had requested hotel security
69
00:04:37,809 --> 00:04:41,488
to escort Conrad from
the premises by 2 p.m.
70
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:42,671
Bunny, please make yourself useful.
71
00:04:42,672 --> 00:04:44,177
Get some more cigarettes, please.
72
00:04:44,178 --> 00:04:45,236
- Hey!
- What?
73
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,337
I'm hungry.
74
00:04:49,649 --> 00:04:51,378
I'll be right there!
75
00:04:51,379 --> 00:04:52,337
Wha... I don't understand.
76
00:04:52,338 --> 00:04:53,234
What do you mean they
won't accept the charges?
77
00:04:53,235 --> 00:04:55,187
Did you tell them it was Conrad Valmont?
78
00:04:55,188 --> 00:04:56,405
Hello.
79
00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:02,867
What are you smiling at?
80
00:05:02,868 --> 00:05:04,403
Uh, nothing.
81
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,364
Come on, Bunny.
82
00:05:05,365 --> 00:05:07,701
Bernard, please take us
to the Belleville Café.
83
00:05:07,702 --> 00:05:09,845
Uh, I'm sorry.
84
00:05:09,846 --> 00:05:12,057
I-I can't.
85
00:05:14,551 --> 00:05:15,831
Hey, it's me.
86
00:05:15,832 --> 00:05:17,782
I'm going to have this
sorted out in no time.
87
00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:20,280
I can't. I mean, it's orders from the boss.
88
00:05:21,239 --> 00:05:22,200
I'm sorry, Connie.
89
00:05:23,159 --> 00:05:25,721
- Can you do me a favor?
- Name it.
90
00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:27,800
Can you take care of
Napoleon while I'm gone?
91
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:28,767
Of course.
92
00:05:28,768 --> 00:05:30,745
This is lame!
93
00:05:30,746 --> 00:05:31,930
I'm going to go.
94
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,529
No, Bunny.
95
00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:35,247
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
96
00:05:36,762 --> 00:05:39,099
Listen.
97
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,338
Can I borrow some cash for a cab?
98
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:44,027
No?
99
00:05:48,797 --> 00:05:49,757
I'll be in touch.
100
00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:57,660
Conrad chose to ride the subway,
101
00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,357
a convention he rarely took up
102
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,054
since he had learned how to hail a cab
103
00:06:01,055 --> 00:06:03,294
at the age of seven.
104
00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:04,863
But it was on this rare occasion
105
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,847
that he first saw Beatrice.
106
00:06:06,848 --> 00:06:08,868
Her unassuming beauty struck him at once,
107
00:06:09,216 --> 00:06:12,224
and as his eyes gazed down,
he couldn't help but notice
108
00:06:12,225 --> 00:06:15,040
she was reading Sense and Sensibility.
109
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,025
Immediately, Conrad had reasoned
110
00:06:17,026 --> 00:06:19,010
she could be no older than 19
111
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:23,267
and would easily be molded
into a girl of his liking.
112
00:06:23,268 --> 00:06:25,282
Of course, there was
always the outside chance
113
00:06:25,283 --> 00:06:28,612
that she was merely a Jane Austin fan,
114
00:06:28,612 --> 00:06:32,039
but Conrad quickly ruled
that out on a hunch.
115
00:06:33,957 --> 00:06:36,164
Herein lies the eternal question,
116
00:06:36,165 --> 00:06:37,640
is it a grocery list...
117
00:06:39,558 --> 00:06:40,936
or her phone number?
118
00:06:43,814 --> 00:06:47,655
It was at that moment Conrad realized
119
00:06:47,656 --> 00:06:50,602
he was going to see her naked.
120
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,944
I think I'm in love.
121
00:06:55,945 --> 00:06:58,344
Conrad, you've only just met her.
122
00:06:58,345 --> 00:06:59,945
I know.
123
00:06:59,946 --> 00:07:01,382
Is she attractive?
124
00:07:01,383 --> 00:07:02,378
Yes.
125
00:07:02,379 --> 00:07:04,586
You know, you have an unhealthy obsession
126
00:07:04,587 --> 00:07:06,378
with female beauty.
127
00:07:06,379 --> 00:07:07,307
I don't care.
128
00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:09,770
Maybe you should try
dating more homely women.
129
00:07:09,771 --> 00:07:10,858
I don't think so.
130
00:07:10,859 --> 00:07:11,819
Take it from me,
131
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:14,956
someone who's been married
for 25 years, Conrad,
132
00:07:14,957 --> 00:07:17,932
inner beauty doesn't age.
133
00:07:17,933 --> 00:07:20,368
You're just saying that
because your wife is unattractive.
134
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:23,662
- Conrad...
- Yes...
135
00:07:23,663 --> 00:07:25,069
What are you going to do?
136
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,958
You have no home.
137
00:07:26,959 --> 00:07:28,719
Move in with Dylan, of course.
138
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:29,837
How about money?
139
00:07:29,838 --> 00:07:32,526
I'd need some, thank you, yes.
140
00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:35,150
Conrad, I'm not your accountant.
141
00:07:35,151 --> 00:07:36,111
I'm your analyst.
142
00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:38,288
Well, I'm certainly not
going to travel downtown
143
00:07:38,289 --> 00:07:39,664
and work for ten hours a day
144
00:07:39,665 --> 00:07:41,106
for the best 20 years of my life
145
00:07:41,298 --> 00:07:43,121
doing some dull, unimaginative work,
146
00:07:43,122 --> 00:07:45,969
certainly non-altruistic work,
147
00:07:45,970 --> 00:07:46,930
no thanks.
148
00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:51,666
Conrad, there's an interesting case study
149
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,906
a colleague of mine did a few years back.
150
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,308
The subject was a young German woman
151
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,284
who had been diagnosed with a brain tumor.
152
00:07:59,285 --> 00:08:02,580
It rendered her witty, charming,
153
00:08:02,581 --> 00:08:04,884
and quite likeable to most.
154
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,098
You trying to set me up?
155
00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:10,357
Though she possessed all the
aforementioned attributes,
156
00:08:10,358 --> 00:08:13,526
her life was actually
completely artificial.
157
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,951
She had no meaning, no emotion,
158
00:08:16,952 --> 00:08:18,648
not a care in the world.
159
00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:19,544
Hm.
160
00:08:19,545 --> 00:08:21,848
She seemed utterly blissful to an outsider,
161
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:26,681
but her family and friends
were worried, even horrified.
162
00:08:26,682 --> 00:08:31,032
German neurologists called it witzelsucht,
163
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:33,690
the joking disease.
164
00:08:33,691 --> 00:08:37,275
But eventually, a dissolution set in
165
00:08:37,276 --> 00:08:41,662
and her life was left empty.
166
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:47,356
Are you saying that I have a brain tumor?
167
00:08:47,357 --> 00:08:49,340
Conrad's analyst had given Conrad
168
00:08:49,341 --> 00:08:54,494
a low-interest loan in
the amount of $217.33,
169
00:08:54,495 --> 00:08:57,056
the entirety of his wallet's remains.
170
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,903
Conrad's ego was in no position
171
00:08:59,904 --> 00:09:03,807
to admit the reality of his impoverishment.
172
00:09:03,808 --> 00:09:06,911
Consequently, he had decided
not to tell Dylan...
173
00:09:06,912 --> 00:09:07,936
Ding-dong.
174
00:09:07,937 --> 00:09:09,440
... Or anyone, for that matter,
175
00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:10,692
of his financial woes.
176
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:14,689
Bonjour, comrade.
177
00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:16,033
Bonjour.
178
00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,274
This is Dylan Tate.
179
00:09:18,275 --> 00:09:20,771
Dylan was an antisocial socialist,
180
00:09:20,772 --> 00:09:24,706
a closet conversationalist,
a clinical neurotic.
181
00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:27,684
Possessing an inimitable
talent for the arts,
182
00:09:27,685 --> 00:09:29,445
Dylan had been afforded the opportunity
183
00:09:29,446 --> 00:09:31,876
to travel the world and live
a comfortable lifestyle
184
00:09:31,877 --> 00:09:34,276
at his own expense,
185
00:09:34,277 --> 00:09:36,391
something Conrad knew nothing about.
186
00:09:37,351 --> 00:09:39,109
Dylan Tate was the only personage
187
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:42,374
of all Conrad's acquaintances
whom he admired,
188
00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:44,199
and to a bigger extent
189
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:48,807
than he liked to admit to himself and me.
190
00:09:48,808 --> 00:09:49,864
How was Greece?
191
00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:52,103
- You mean Bhutan.
- Semantics.
192
00:09:52,104 --> 00:09:53,481
I got back a couple of days ago.
193
00:09:53,673 --> 00:09:55,529
Uh-hm.
194
00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:57,385
Do you mind if I stay with you for a while?
195
00:09:57,386 --> 00:09:59,760
Sure, come on in.
196
00:10:05,515 --> 00:10:08,010
So, what happened?
197
00:10:08,011 --> 00:10:11,116
We are remodeling at The Valmont again.
198
00:10:11,117 --> 00:10:12,971
Where's Jocelyn?
199
00:10:12,972 --> 00:10:13,931
I don't know.
200
00:10:13,932 --> 00:10:15,949
Ugh, it's been a couple of weeks.
201
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,413
What I first perceived
as cute and endearing
202
00:10:18,414 --> 00:10:21,549
was actually quite exhausting,
203
00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:24,301
her episodic hysteria, her
chronic dissatisfaction,
204
00:10:24,302 --> 00:10:25,645
her endless pragmatism.
205
00:10:25,646 --> 00:10:27,151
You know you two always do this, right?
206
00:10:27,152 --> 00:10:29,071
One of you screams,
the other one comes running back.
207
00:10:29,072 --> 00:10:30,415
I-I bought her a Volvo.
208
00:10:30,416 --> 00:10:34,129
You bought her a Vol,
why, why do you always buy them a Volvo?
209
00:10:34,130 --> 00:10:34,893
I don't know.
210
00:10:34,897 --> 00:10:36,881
It's like a free ticket to leave.
211
00:10:36,881 --> 00:10:38,899
How can I feel guilty, you know?
212
00:10:40,817 --> 00:10:42,324
I bought her a Volvo.
213
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:44,306
You know what really pisses me off
214
00:10:44,498 --> 00:10:45,874
about this whole thing is that I'm the one
215
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:48,370
who funded her entire vegan fashion line,
216
00:10:48,371 --> 00:10:50,482
and now that every socialite in St. Bart's
217
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,332
thinks it's fashionable,
I get the swift kick.
218
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,706
Swift kick? I thought you
broke it off with her.
219
00:10:57,429 --> 00:10:59,669
I did but still.
220
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:02,965
So, Henri, over at the gallery,
221
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,853
he set me up on a date last week.
222
00:11:04,854 --> 00:11:05,879
That bad, huh?
223
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,445
You can always tell what
somebody thinks of you
224
00:11:07,446 --> 00:11:09,717
by who they set you up with.
225
00:11:09,718 --> 00:11:12,546
Is it wrong to be aroused by
a bunch of 17-year-old girls
226
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:16,279
running around with knee-high
socks and polyester shorts?
227
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,368
Well, I guess that's a decision
228
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:19,000
every man has to make for himself,
229
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:21,688
but yes, obviously yes.
230
00:11:21,689 --> 00:11:22,937
Conrad needs a girlfriend.
231
00:11:22,938 --> 00:11:24,602
No, no, no. We don't need girlfriends.
232
00:11:24,602 --> 00:11:25,881
This is not the time for girlfriends.
233
00:11:25,882 --> 00:11:27,961
This is a time for us to read and to write
234
00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:31,674
and to have deviant fetishistic
sex with prostitutes.
235
00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:33,882
Please, this from a serial monogamist.
236
00:11:33,883 --> 00:11:36,251
You've never even been with a prostitute.
237
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,107
I understand that, if you'll indulge me.
238
00:11:38,108 --> 00:11:39,227
I'm going through a rough break-up.
239
00:11:39,228 --> 00:11:40,668
I need to have certain...
240
00:11:40,669 --> 00:11:43,357
reassurances about the
prospect of bachelorhood.
241
00:11:43,358 --> 00:11:44,413
Look alive, look alive.
242
00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:45,949
Need a new goalie?
243
00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:47,005
Don't make eye contact.
244
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,861
Hey, mister, give us back our ball.
245
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,494
Interaction is inappropriate.
246
00:11:50,495 --> 00:11:52,094
I can play.
247
00:11:52,095 --> 00:11:53,054
Hm. We should move.
248
00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:56,770
Like little veal.
249
00:11:58,688 --> 00:12:00,511
So, I met a woman a couple weeks ago.
250
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,720
I don't know, I can't
get her out of my head.
251
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,351
What happened to the
prospects of bachelorhood?
252
00:12:04,352 --> 00:12:06,561
I know. I just find it completely
253
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:08,379
overwhelmingly tedious and unnerving.
254
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,618
So, tell me about the girl.
255
00:12:11,619 --> 00:12:12,450
What are the details?
256
00:12:12,451 --> 00:12:14,754
She's like an ingenue in a Chekov play.
257
00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:16,995
You know, one of those awfully
romantic virtuous types,
258
00:12:16,996 --> 00:12:19,426
completely self-inhibited, doesn't drink.
259
00:12:19,427 --> 00:12:21,381
Didn't have sex until she was 21,
260
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,323
read the bulk of the Victorian classics.
261
00:12:24,324 --> 00:12:26,084
Jesus, sounds like a real keeper.
262
00:12:26,085 --> 00:12:27,333
Oh, she is, she really is.
263
00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:29,476
I'm... I'm way over my head.
264
00:12:29,477 --> 00:12:31,493
Is she attractive?
265
00:12:31,494 --> 00:12:33,702
Hm, she's a model.
266
00:12:33,703 --> 00:12:36,935
If I ever lost my fortune
267
00:12:36,936 --> 00:12:40,103
and was completely disinherited,
could you ever see me
268
00:12:40,104 --> 00:12:42,887
as a struggling bohemian artist type,
269
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:44,605
hypothetically speaking, of course?
270
00:12:46,312 --> 00:12:47,400
That reminds me,
271
00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:48,745
do you want to come with
me to the cocktail benefit
272
00:12:48,746 --> 00:12:51,241
at the Woodruff Modern tonight?
273
00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:52,552
- Nope.
- Come on.
274
00:12:52,553 --> 00:12:53,641
You know I don't like those things.
275
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:54,602
It'll be fun. You can...
276
00:12:54,603 --> 00:12:55,434
Probably not.
277
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:57,770
Then you can, uh, meet the ingenue.
278
00:12:57,771 --> 00:12:58,826
Is it a date?
279
00:12:58,827 --> 00:12:59,882
Not exactly.
280
00:12:59,883 --> 00:13:02,059
We do this thing where we
don't really go out together.
281
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:02,826
We just call each other
282
00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:03,722
to make sure the other is going to be
283
00:13:03,723 --> 00:13:05,963
at a certain place at a preordained time,
284
00:13:05,964 --> 00:13:07,176
- and then...
- Adorable.
285
00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:10,284
...we just happen to bump into one another.
286
00:13:10,285 --> 00:13:11,852
It's less pressure.
287
00:13:11,853 --> 00:13:14,029
So do you want to come
to the cocktail party?
288
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:16,178
Well, I'll need a cocktail first.
289
00:13:19,055 --> 00:13:21,327
Are you wearing perfume?
290
00:13:21,328 --> 00:13:23,758
No, it's a new cologne that
I'm wearing for my date.
291
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:24,870
Why? What do you think?
292
00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:28,144
Well, I think it smells like perfume.
293
00:13:28,145 --> 00:13:30,805
No, the woman at Bergdorf's
told me that it's unisex.
294
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,803
And you wanted to smell sexually ambiguous?
295
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,933
Good evening and welcome
to this evening's benefit.
296
00:13:43,892 --> 00:13:45,875
I must say I'm more than thrilled
297
00:13:45,876 --> 00:13:48,371
to see so many familiar faces.
298
00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:51,764
Enjoy the complimentary hors
d'oeuvres and champagne,
299
00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:54,581
and remember, make a donation.
300
00:13:54,582 --> 00:13:56,442
Cheers!
301
00:14:00,278 --> 00:14:02,713
This is Beatrice Fairbanks.
302
00:14:04,579 --> 00:14:07,255
Beatrice had attended a rather
strict etiquette school
303
00:14:07,256 --> 00:14:09,048
on a bi-weekly basis.
304
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:12,056
In doing so, Beatrice had
been quietly instilled
305
00:14:12,057 --> 00:14:15,127
with a certain Victorian idolatry,
306
00:14:15,128 --> 00:14:18,553
a paragon of virtue.
307
00:14:18,554 --> 00:14:20,504
Beatrice had been forced at a young age
308
00:14:20,505 --> 00:14:22,745
to learn the works of Bach, Chopin,
309
00:14:22,746 --> 00:14:25,658
and other masters of classical music,
310
00:14:25,659 --> 00:14:29,114
though secretly she'd
always wanted to play jazz.
311
00:14:29,115 --> 00:14:33,085
Oddly, Beatrice had opted to
become and editorial model...
312
00:14:35,101 --> 00:14:38,236
...an occupation that only
heightened her insecurities.
313
00:14:38,237 --> 00:14:39,196
C'est magnifique!
314
00:14:39,197 --> 00:14:40,606
Un petite oiseau.
315
00:14:45,112 --> 00:14:46,526
Beatrice was a firm believer
316
00:14:46,527 --> 00:14:49,374
in mystics, psychics, and the occult,
317
00:14:49,375 --> 00:14:51,679
which ran counter to the debutante norm
318
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,584
which favored incessant psychoanalysis.
319
00:14:55,585 --> 00:14:57,184
What does it mean?
320
00:14:57,185 --> 00:15:00,192
So what do you think of my cologne?
321
00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:02,081
Oh, that's you.
322
00:15:02,082 --> 00:15:03,841
You probably didn't get a good...
323
00:15:03,842 --> 00:15:05,505
It's a little feminine.
324
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:07,874
The woman at Bergdorf's
told me it was unisex.
325
00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:09,825
Hi, she was clearly lying.
326
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,394
He smells pretty, doesn't he?
327
00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:16,068
Um, Beatrice, this is my friend Conrad.
328
00:15:16,069 --> 00:15:17,988
Conrad, Beatrice.
329
00:15:17,989 --> 00:15:19,875
- We've met.
- Just briefly.
330
00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:21,861
- On the subway.
- Subway?
331
00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:23,748
Uh-hm. I gave him my, um...
332
00:15:23,749 --> 00:15:26,597
Scarf, she gave me her scarf. It was cold.
333
00:15:26,598 --> 00:15:27,909
I'm going to need that back from you.
334
00:15:27,909 --> 00:15:30,597
Okay. I'll give it to you.
335
00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:31,749
Uh-hm.
336
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,774
I can get it...
337
00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:34,950
from you... to give to her.
338
00:15:34,951 --> 00:15:38,600
I think I see foie gras.
339
00:15:38,601 --> 00:15:40,328
Want some... duck?
340
00:15:40,328 --> 00:15:44,552
No. Take your time.
341
00:15:44,553 --> 00:15:45,993
He's... That's so nice of you.
342
00:15:45,994 --> 00:15:47,401
Obviously I've got a target on my back.
343
00:15:47,402 --> 00:15:49,802
I didn't even know it,
I didn't even know it,
344
00:15:49,803 --> 00:15:51,049
and listen to this,
345
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,802
my mistress says she
doesn't want to have sex
346
00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:55,402
because she's afraid she'll get pregnant.
347
00:15:55,403 --> 00:15:57,322
I told her at the rate we have intercourse,
348
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,283
the only way that's going to happen
349
00:15:58,284 --> 00:16:00,139
is through immaculate conception.
350
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:01,291
Hm-hm.
351
00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:02,700
Didn't you say she was on the pill?
352
00:16:02,701 --> 00:16:03,468
Yeah, yeah, she is,
353
00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:05,260
but she says she's afraid of the 1%,
354
00:16:05,261 --> 00:16:07,309
and besides, she wants to get off.
355
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:08,812
It gives her mood swings.
356
00:16:08,813 --> 00:16:09,804
Awful, just awful.
357
00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:10,447
You already have a wife
358
00:16:10,639 --> 00:16:12,846
that doesn't want to sleep with you.
359
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,087
Touché.
360
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:20,751
Don't you find that the virtuous ideals
361
00:16:20,752 --> 00:16:22,863
of the Victorian authors
is somewhat unrealistic
362
00:16:22,864 --> 00:16:23,791
and sentimental?
363
00:16:23,792 --> 00:16:27,121
No, not at all, and as the century went on,
364
00:16:27,122 --> 00:16:29,906
the scope of the genre
became far more complex.
365
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,401
You do realize that the monicker
of Victorian literature
366
00:16:32,402 --> 00:16:35,729
ranges from the Bronte sisters to Kipling?
367
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:37,233
Yes.
368
00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:39,794
Have you ever actually
read any of their books?
369
00:16:39,795 --> 00:16:42,003
No, but I'm...
370
00:16:42,004 --> 00:16:44,500
I'm heavily considering it.
371
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,308
She wouldn't have left...
372
00:16:53,911 --> 00:16:54,937
There she is.
373
00:16:57,815 --> 00:16:58,998
Hey.
374
00:16:58,999 --> 00:17:00,342
Hi.
375
00:17:00,343 --> 00:17:02,966
So, where... where you heading now?
376
00:17:02,967 --> 00:17:04,598
I have to go to bed. I
have work in the morning.
377
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,912
Yeah, me too.
378
00:17:05,913 --> 00:17:08,696
So, what are you working on these days?
379
00:17:08,697 --> 00:17:10,359
Nothing in particular.
380
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,417
I'm open to new ideas.
381
00:17:11,418 --> 00:17:12,857
You sound very ambitious.
382
00:17:12,858 --> 00:17:15,353
Actually I am in the
gathering stages of a novel.
383
00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:20,249
It is to be one of the
great New York novels
384
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:23,930
in the tradition of
Fitzgerald, Edith Wharton.
385
00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:25,882
He's been in the gathering
stages for over a decade.
386
00:17:25,883 --> 00:17:27,259
Well, all good things take time.
387
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,860
I rushed my first novel,
388
00:17:28,861 --> 00:17:30,492
I don't want to suffer the same pitfalls
389
00:17:30,493 --> 00:17:33,469
as my predecessors with
my sophomore effort.
390
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,876
I don't think you finished your first novel
391
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:36,285
and I'm pretty sure it can't qualify
392
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:37,373
as a sophomore effort
393
00:17:37,374 --> 00:17:39,357
if you don't finish your first book.
394
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,574
Finish it.
395
00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:43,967
Nonetheless, everybody knows
that there are certain pitfalls
396
00:17:43,968 --> 00:17:45,247
associated with a sophomore effort
397
00:17:45,248 --> 00:17:49,662
that I simply want to avoid, period.
398
00:17:49,663 --> 00:17:50,719
Avoid it by not doing it.
399
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,192
Dylan.
400
00:17:52,193 --> 00:17:55,745
Well, good night.
401
00:17:55,746 --> 00:17:56,713
Good night.
402
00:18:03,427 --> 00:18:04,589
Don't you try anything.
403
00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:07,875
I won't.
404
00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:09,444
Don't try anything.
405
00:18:10,404 --> 00:18:11,785
I won't.
406
00:18:15,622 --> 00:18:16,581
- Don't.
- I...
407
00:18:23,239 --> 00:18:25,286
Nearly 30 minutes had passed,
408
00:18:25,287 --> 00:18:26,791
and Beatrice could still feel the rush
409
00:18:26,792 --> 00:18:29,098
from Conrad's flirtation.
410
00:18:31,016 --> 00:18:32,870
Don't try anything.
411
00:18:32,871 --> 00:18:35,111
I won't.
412
00:18:35,112 --> 00:18:36,712
Not this one.
413
00:18:36,713 --> 00:18:41,163
Dylan... I won't.
414
00:18:51,692 --> 00:18:53,098
Don't try anything.
415
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,213
I won't!
416
00:18:57,132 --> 00:18:59,052
The two friends' competitive nature
417
00:18:59,053 --> 00:19:01,837
which had spanned nearly three decades
418
00:19:01,838 --> 00:19:03,565
stemmed from the simple fact
419
00:19:03,566 --> 00:19:05,837
that they each not only envied the other
420
00:19:05,838 --> 00:19:09,008
but wanted secretly to be the other.
421
00:19:10,926 --> 00:19:13,554
Neither one ever spoke of this.
422
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,119
You know, just because you're almost 40
423
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,199
and still getting a weekly
allowance from your parents
424
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,025
doesn't mean you can just do nothing
425
00:19:23,026 --> 00:19:24,885
for the rest of your life.
426
00:19:28,722 --> 00:19:32,691
First of all, I'm writing a
novel, as you well know.
427
00:19:32,692 --> 00:19:35,314
Secondly, your statement
is completely subjective
428
00:19:35,315 --> 00:19:37,523
and lacking any substantive facts.
429
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:40,563
You're walking down a very
dangerous road, my friend.
430
00:19:40,564 --> 00:19:42,035
What road is that?
431
00:19:42,036 --> 00:19:45,044
The road to fantasyland,
432
00:19:45,045 --> 00:19:46,868
and when you take a trip to fantasyland,
433
00:19:46,869 --> 00:19:49,205
you should always have a return ticket.
434
00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:50,709
I don't even know what that means.
435
00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:51,830
At some point you're going to have to come
436
00:19:51,831 --> 00:19:54,742
to the same realization I did.
437
00:19:54,743 --> 00:19:55,767
What's that?
438
00:19:55,768 --> 00:19:58,903
The rest of the world is
never going to love you
439
00:19:58,904 --> 00:20:00,507
as much as your parents do.
440
00:20:03,385 --> 00:20:06,007
Weren't you adopted?
441
00:20:06,008 --> 00:20:08,505
I don't understand why you're
interested in this guy.
442
00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:11,801
He's just another
philandering affluent type
443
00:20:11,802 --> 00:20:14,842
doomed to chronic alcoholism,
perpetual adolescence,
444
00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:16,731
and death by syphilis.
445
00:20:17,403 --> 00:20:19,834
He probably sits around all
day drinking Tom Collins
446
00:20:19,835 --> 00:20:22,747
and just performing acts
of mental masturbation.
447
00:20:22,747 --> 00:20:24,616
That is such an unfair generalization.
448
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,597
He's not like that.
449
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:28,029
For your information,
he is writing a novel.
450
00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:30,461
Oh. Aren't we all?
451
00:20:31,507 --> 00:20:33,981
So, I'm thinking about
taking it to the next level
452
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:34,975
with Beatrice,
453
00:20:34,976 --> 00:20:37,023
and actually asking her
out to dinner tonight.
454
00:20:37,024 --> 00:20:39,327
Hm, bad move.
455
00:20:39,328 --> 00:20:41,183
- Why?
- You just saw her last night.
456
00:20:41,184 --> 00:20:43,551
You don't want to crowd her,
make her think you're too eager.
457
00:20:43,552 --> 00:20:45,408
Definitely wait.
458
00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:47,551
How long?
459
00:20:47,552 --> 00:20:48,608
I don't know, Dylan.
460
00:20:48,609 --> 00:20:49,697
A day at least.
461
00:20:49,698 --> 00:20:50,910
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
462
00:20:52,769 --> 00:20:53,731
Beatrice...
463
00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:56,900
yes, that's my plane.
464
00:20:58,435 --> 00:21:00,834
I never understood why someone
would want to be a vegetarian.
465
00:21:00,835 --> 00:21:03,011
I mean, do you, do you really
love animals that much.
466
00:21:03,202 --> 00:21:04,804
No, no, no. I just hate plants.
467
00:21:06,212 --> 00:21:07,940
You eat fish though, right?
468
00:21:07,941 --> 00:21:08,899
Why?
469
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,468
All the vegetarians eat fish.
470
00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:11,972
Well, I'm a Pisces.
471
00:21:11,973 --> 00:21:13,604
What's that got to do with it?
472
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,336
I don't eat my own kind.
473
00:21:17,198 --> 00:21:19,622
Beatrice, tell me, what
is it like being a model,
474
00:21:19,623 --> 00:21:21,381
all those people staring at you?
475
00:21:21,382 --> 00:21:24,422
It's like any other job,
innocuous and demoralizing,
476
00:21:24,423 --> 00:21:25,075
but it pays well.
477
00:21:25,191 --> 00:21:26,279
I'm serious. Tell me about yourself.
478
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,479
All I know is that you, you,
you do frequent the subway,
479
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,759
and, and you read Victorian
480
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,321
and pre-Victorian literature, right?
481
00:21:33,322 --> 00:21:35,369
Come on, I want to know, I
want to know your fears.
482
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:36,680
I'd like to know your hopes.
483
00:21:36,681 --> 00:21:38,570
I want to know political ideologies
484
00:21:38,571 --> 00:21:39,467
and sexual preference.
485
00:21:39,658 --> 00:21:40,841
I don't care what order.
486
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:43,177
That's a lot of information
for a first date.
487
00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:44,202
That's true.
488
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:45,418
How about you?
489
00:21:45,418 --> 00:21:48,011
What is it like being born with
the proverbial silver spoon?
490
00:21:48,012 --> 00:21:48,939
All right.
491
00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:51,883
Well, you know, it, it
is like any other job,
492
00:21:51,884 --> 00:21:54,893
it's innocuous and demoralizing,
but it pays really well.
493
00:21:54,894 --> 00:21:56,652
Beatrice was different.
494
00:21:56,653 --> 00:21:58,668
As their conversation continued,
495
00:21:58,669 --> 00:22:02,541
the two spoke of French cinema
and classic literature.
496
00:22:02,542 --> 00:22:05,293
He tried to be witty, to make her laugh,
497
00:22:05,294 --> 00:22:08,078
and for a moment she resembled a statue,
498
00:22:08,079 --> 00:22:09,422
a bust of an Aphrodite
499
00:22:09,423 --> 00:22:12,719
that he could only remember its gentle eyes
500
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,625
but not where the status itself had been.
501
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:17,968
Shall we go have a cigarette?
502
00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:19,953
Okay, yeah.
503
00:22:19,954 --> 00:22:21,521
Conrad often became attached
504
00:22:21,522 --> 00:22:24,337
to the idea of something
505
00:22:24,338 --> 00:22:27,795
and not to the actual thing itself.
506
00:22:27,796 --> 00:22:30,962
So what is your novel about?
507
00:22:30,963 --> 00:22:31,731
I'm not so sure.
508
00:22:31,732 --> 00:22:32,883
I'm still figuring that part out.
509
00:22:32,884 --> 00:22:34,482
I want you to try this.
510
00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:35,097
Why? What is it?
511
00:22:35,284 --> 00:22:39,092
This is, it's a Valmont Executive.
512
00:22:39,093 --> 00:22:40,725
It is my family's brand.
513
00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:42,133
It is, it is only the rarest
514
00:22:42,134 --> 00:22:45,334
and most exquisite cigarette in existence.
515
00:22:45,335 --> 00:22:46,904
It is pretty great, isn't it?
516
00:22:48,823 --> 00:22:51,194
Sort of tastes like any other cigarette.
517
00:22:53,112 --> 00:22:54,487
How about the smell, right?
518
00:22:54,488 --> 00:22:56,279
Smell?
519
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,944
Smells like any other too.
520
00:22:57,945 --> 00:23:00,952
- I mean, maybe I'm missing...
- ...something.
521
00:23:00,953 --> 00:23:02,713
You don't get it. You just don't get it.
522
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,568
I'm going to take two then.
523
00:23:04,569 --> 00:23:06,105
Oh, that's good.
524
00:23:06,106 --> 00:23:07,065
That's healthy.
525
00:23:08,602 --> 00:23:10,042
As the day wore on,
526
00:23:10,043 --> 00:23:11,739
Beatrice was playing hard to get.
527
00:23:12,698 --> 00:23:17,242
Conrad's pseudo-intellectual
banter was wearing thin,
528
00:23:17,243 --> 00:23:19,549
and so he decided to proceed to plan B,
529
00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:23,291
get her drunk.
530
00:23:23,292 --> 00:23:24,444
Well, I know you don't drink,
531
00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:26,717
but they make an incredible
Tom Collins, okay?
532
00:23:27,070 --> 00:23:28,604
How often do you come here?
533
00:23:28,605 --> 00:23:30,525
Uh, every once in a while.
534
00:23:30,525 --> 00:23:32,451
Here you go, Mr. Valmont.
535
00:23:37,247 --> 00:23:38,270
Lucky.
536
00:23:38,271 --> 00:23:39,230
Cheers.
537
00:23:39,231 --> 00:23:40,191
Cheers.
538
00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:52,546
Weird how nobody dances anymore, you know?
539
00:23:52,547 --> 00:23:55,813
That's funny coming from
someone who is not dancing.
540
00:23:57,732 --> 00:23:59,299
I don't dance.
541
00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:20,113
You know, you're nothing
like Dylan described.
542
00:25:20,114 --> 00:25:21,043
Why? What did he say?
543
00:25:21,235 --> 00:25:22,225
He said you were self-inhibited
544
00:25:22,226 --> 00:25:23,219
and that you didn't drink.
545
00:25:23,220 --> 00:25:27,731
Well, a woman can wear many hats.
546
00:25:27,732 --> 00:25:29,170
Oh yeah, what does that mean?
547
00:25:29,171 --> 00:25:30,580
It means a woman can be
548
00:25:30,581 --> 00:25:32,628
inhibited and conservative with one man
549
00:25:32,629 --> 00:25:36,852
and virtually the opposite with another.
550
00:25:36,853 --> 00:25:40,340
Oh boy, even socialist regimes
wait until their demise
551
00:25:40,341 --> 00:25:43,413
before they admit such insincerity.
552
00:25:43,414 --> 00:25:47,929
Well, I'm not a socialist
regime, I'm a woman.
553
00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:51,030
You play that thing?
554
00:25:51,031 --> 00:25:52,311
A little bit.
555
00:25:52,312 --> 00:25:53,271
Will you play me a song?
556
00:25:53,272 --> 00:25:54,231
- No.
- Come on.
557
00:25:54,232 --> 00:25:55,192
- Uh-uh.
- Please!
558
00:25:56,824 --> 00:25:58,650
- Beatrice.
- I'm not in the mood.
559
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,377
Are you going to make me beg?
560
00:26:00,569 --> 00:26:02,554
No. Maybe.
561
00:26:02,554 --> 00:26:03,833
Come on, please?
562
00:26:03,834 --> 00:26:06,490
Just one.
563
00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:00,195
Beatrice loved the way
564
00:27:00,196 --> 00:27:03,236
Conrad walked into a room,
565
00:27:03,237 --> 00:27:05,125
the way he waved his hands in the air
566
00:27:05,126 --> 00:27:08,614
every time he heard Bach, the
way he read her excerpts
567
00:27:08,615 --> 00:27:11,621
of Fitzgerald's short fiction before bed,
568
00:27:11,622 --> 00:27:14,471
the precision with which
he made a Tom Collins
569
00:27:14,472 --> 00:27:18,023
and a single Windsor knot,
570
00:27:18,024 --> 00:27:20,487
his infallible wit and charm
571
00:27:20,488 --> 00:27:24,072
and the way he used words
like haberdashery,
572
00:27:24,073 --> 00:27:26,215
but most importantly,
573
00:27:26,216 --> 00:27:29,131
Beatrice loved the way he looked at her.
574
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:34,377
Conrad loved the way
Beatrice walked into a room,
575
00:27:34,378 --> 00:27:35,491
how she laughed at his jokes
576
00:27:35,530 --> 00:27:38,380
no matter how convoluted
or juvenile they seemed,
577
00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:40,427
the way she bit her lip
578
00:27:40,428 --> 00:27:42,988
the moment before she played the piano,
579
00:27:42,989 --> 00:27:46,828
the softness of her skin,
the yellow in her eyes,
580
00:27:46,829 --> 00:27:51,404
the mole on her thigh,
but most importantly,
581
00:27:51,405 --> 00:27:53,937
Conrad loved to look at her.
582
00:27:55,855 --> 00:28:00,495
Unfortunately, there were still
two unavoidable problems,
583
00:28:00,496 --> 00:28:05,327
Dylan, and that Conrad was broke,
584
00:28:05,328 --> 00:28:11,056
but most importantly that he
was lying concerning both.
585
00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:12,368
Did you ever notice that
when people become happy,
586
00:28:12,369 --> 00:28:14,897
they pack on a few extra pounds?
587
00:28:14,897 --> 00:28:16,626
What are you trying to say?
588
00:28:16,627 --> 00:28:18,289
No, no, no, nothing about you, Angel.
589
00:28:18,290 --> 00:28:20,498
No, no, no.
I'm just, I'm making an observation.
590
00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:21,682
Oh.
591
00:28:21,683 --> 00:28:24,467
Are you saying that all
fat people are happy?
592
00:28:24,468 --> 00:28:25,906
Not at all, no.
593
00:28:25,907 --> 00:28:26,867
I'm merely stating
594
00:28:26,868 --> 00:28:28,660
that there are two
categories of fat people,
595
00:28:28,661 --> 00:28:34,069
there is happy fat and there is just fat.
596
00:28:35,253 --> 00:28:36,885
- No, no, no. Please.
- Just one.
597
00:28:36,886 --> 00:28:37,910
Just give me a little space.
598
00:28:37,911 --> 00:28:39,990
I'm trying to cook, you
know, it's not natural.
599
00:28:39,991 --> 00:28:41,621
Hey. That water is brown.
600
00:28:41,622 --> 00:28:43,223
That can't be healthy.
601
00:28:43,224 --> 00:28:44,285
That's how I like it.
602
00:28:44,477 --> 00:28:45,469
- Really?
- Yep.
603
00:28:45,661 --> 00:28:47,927
- Want me to get that?
- Nope.
604
00:28:47,928 --> 00:28:49,879
Well, how am I supposed to wash my hands?
605
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:50,872
There's egg all over them.
606
00:28:50,873 --> 00:28:51,832
Hey, Dylan.
607
00:28:53,466 --> 00:28:56,249
Uh, no, not doing anything.
608
00:28:56,250 --> 00:28:57,913
Oh, tonight?
609
00:28:57,914 --> 00:29:03,194
Uh, oh, oh, can you hang on one second?
610
00:29:03,195 --> 00:29:04,696
He wants to take me to the theater tonight
611
00:29:04,888 --> 00:29:06,317
and he wants me to bring a date for you.
612
00:29:06,652 --> 00:29:08,443
I'm, I'm not that good of a liar.
613
00:29:08,444 --> 00:29:10,108
I sincerely doubt that.
614
00:29:10,109 --> 00:29:13,884
No, I'm sorry, we can't... I can't.
615
00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:16,283
You did?
Oh, that's so nice of you.
616
00:29:16,284 --> 00:29:19,037
Okay, well then, I'll see you at 7.
617
00:29:19,038 --> 00:29:20,572
Okay, bye.
618
00:29:20,573 --> 00:29:22,367
There was nothing I could do.
619
00:29:26,272 --> 00:29:27,231
This is a bad idea.
620
00:29:28,736 --> 00:29:30,943
I don't understand why you and Dylan
621
00:29:30,944 --> 00:29:34,624
always have to get into these
prepubescent competitions
622
00:29:34,625 --> 00:29:36,576
of which he always loses.
623
00:29:36,577 --> 00:29:38,079
I resent that.
You know, I make a conscious effort
624
00:29:38,271 --> 00:29:39,296
to stay out of all forms
of competition with him.
625
00:29:39,297 --> 00:29:43,041
Well, you're uh, track
record proves otherwise.
626
00:29:43,042 --> 00:29:46,882
Well, this girl is important.
627
00:29:46,883 --> 00:29:50,275
Let me know if there's
anything I can, um, I can do.
628
00:29:50,276 --> 00:29:52,899
Have you heard anything?
I can't get anyone to return my calls.
629
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,393
There are rumors, just rumors.
630
00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:56,228
I don't want to get into details,
631
00:29:56,229 --> 00:29:59,557
but I've only got 36 hours
of clean underwear left.
632
00:29:59,558 --> 00:30:00,964
I've got no idea what to do, you know?
633
00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:03,909
I feel like Napoleon after Waterloo,
634
00:30:03,910 --> 00:30:06,597
dying in exile on the coast of St. Helena.
635
00:30:06,598 --> 00:30:08,327
It's going to be all right, Connie.
636
00:30:08,328 --> 00:30:09,254
You think?
637
00:30:09,255 --> 00:30:11,910
I promise you. It's going to be all right.
638
00:30:11,911 --> 00:30:13,384
All right.
639
00:30:26,187 --> 00:30:27,438
Listen, I need to take the antiques.
640
00:30:27,630 --> 00:30:28,811
You don't need to take everything.
641
00:30:28,812 --> 00:30:30,538
They were in my family,
and they belong to me.
642
00:30:30,539 --> 00:30:32,234
Your family, your family, I paid...
643
00:30:32,235 --> 00:30:34,314
That desk was from Marie Antoinette!
644
00:30:34,315 --> 00:30:35,274
Oh, please!
645
00:30:35,275 --> 00:30:37,195
Yes, it was.
646
00:30:37,196 --> 00:30:39,788
I'm sorry, sir. No one picked up.
647
00:30:39,789 --> 00:30:41,859
Is there another number you'd like to try?
648
00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:47,500
Um, no, no, that's okay.
649
00:30:47,501 --> 00:30:49,585
That's fine. Thank you.
650
00:30:52,251 --> 00:30:54,574
I think that's a pretty
good parent over there.
651
00:30:54,575 --> 00:30:55,534
Uh-hmm.
652
00:30:55,534 --> 00:30:58,865
She's very uh, opinionated
and judgmental...
653
00:31:04,435 --> 00:31:06,000
I told you this was a bad idea.
654
00:31:06,001 --> 00:31:06,961
Shut up, shut up!
655
00:31:39,576 --> 00:31:41,208
Well then, tell me about it.
656
00:31:41,209 --> 00:31:42,487
Seriously?
657
00:31:42,488 --> 00:31:44,023
Yes, seriously, of course!
658
00:31:44,024 --> 00:31:46,296
Here I am, I'm leaving.
659
00:31:46,297 --> 00:31:48,152
Is this a joke?
660
00:31:48,153 --> 00:31:50,072
What a pitiful advocate you are!
661
00:31:50,073 --> 00:31:53,081
Speak, whether it's a joke or not.
662
00:31:53,082 --> 00:31:54,649
Uh, uh, why are you looking
663
00:31:54,650 --> 00:31:56,922
all around the room like that?
664
00:31:56,923 --> 00:32:00,346
Oh, you, you really are in a temper.
665
00:32:00,347 --> 00:32:02,394
I wish to take a lover,
666
00:32:02,395 --> 00:32:03,834
or if not a lover, at least a cavalier.
667
00:32:03,835 --> 00:32:04,828
Whom do you suggest?
668
00:32:04,829 --> 00:32:07,035
I shall abide by your choice from,
669
00:32:07,036 --> 00:32:08,252
from tomorrow, from this evening,
670
00:32:08,253 --> 00:32:10,235
whoever has the fancy to
sing beneath my window
671
00:32:10,236 --> 00:32:12,029
will find my door ajar.
672
00:32:12,030 --> 00:32:12,957
Well...
673
00:32:12,958 --> 00:32:15,069
Well, nothing to say?
674
00:32:15,070 --> 00:32:16,701
Marry me!
675
00:32:31,075 --> 00:32:33,953
I sure don't like the way you're
looking at Dylan tonight.
676
00:32:33,954 --> 00:32:35,200
I am not doing anything.
677
00:32:35,201 --> 00:32:37,985
Okay, maybe it's me, but I don't know.
678
00:32:37,986 --> 00:32:38,946
Just stop it!
679
00:32:42,691 --> 00:32:45,443
I didn't even understand any
of the Parisian speech.
680
00:32:45,444 --> 00:32:47,620
I think they were Canadian.
681
00:32:49,590 --> 00:32:51,812
- Bonsoir, Monsieur Valmont.
- Hello, Didier.
682
00:32:51,813 --> 00:32:53,155
Your usual table is waiting.
683
00:32:53,156 --> 00:32:54,276
Great, thank you.
684
00:32:54,277 --> 00:32:57,508
Will you be paying tonight
or putting it on the books?
685
00:32:57,509 --> 00:32:58,886
It will be on the books,
686
00:32:58,887 --> 00:33:00,806
and that goes for the whole table.
687
00:33:00,807 --> 00:33:02,309
- So...
- Ah, very well.
688
00:33:02,310 --> 00:33:04,394
Please, right this way.
689
00:33:06,312 --> 00:33:07,755
Bonsoir.
690
00:33:11,945 --> 00:33:13,768
No, it's just a little bit,
I'll just have a little.
691
00:33:13,769 --> 00:33:15,592
What did you think?
692
00:33:15,593 --> 00:33:17,513
I don't know.
I felt that it was sort of pretentious.
693
00:33:17,514 --> 00:33:18,505
Uh-hm.
694
00:33:18,506 --> 00:33:21,384
It seemed like everyone who was
in the theater was just there to be seen.
695
00:33:21,385 --> 00:33:22,953
There to be seen?
696
00:33:22,954 --> 00:33:25,065
It was a theater, it was
pitch black in there.
697
00:33:25,066 --> 00:33:28,201
How am I supposed to care
698
00:33:28,202 --> 00:33:30,827
about a group of over
privileged, affluent types
699
00:33:30,828 --> 00:33:31,979
who go gallivanting around
700
00:33:31,980 --> 00:33:33,740
without any sort of a moral compass.
701
00:33:33,741 --> 00:33:35,019
Yeah, affluent have plenty of problems.
702
00:33:35,019 --> 00:33:36,363
I'm a mess.
703
00:33:36,364 --> 00:33:38,348
I'm sorry, but I'm very sensitive
704
00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:40,812
to an audience's reaction,
and I couldn't get into it.
705
00:33:40,813 --> 00:33:41,868
If they all jumped off a bridge,
706
00:33:41,869 --> 00:33:42,829
would you join them?
707
00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:45,453
I hate that analogy, I
really do, but maybe.
708
00:33:45,454 --> 00:33:47,214
Maybe there's a reason for
why they're all doing that.
709
00:33:47,215 --> 00:33:49,389
Maybe the bridge is about to explode
and no one told me.
710
00:33:49,390 --> 00:33:50,606
That's a good point.
711
00:33:50,607 --> 00:33:54,224
And just how am I supposed to sympathize
with these characters?
712
00:33:54,416 --> 00:33:56,719
No one suffers any consequences
for their actions,
713
00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,528
no one learns anything, and nobody changes.
714
00:34:00,529 --> 00:34:03,409
It was a satire.
715
00:34:03,410 --> 00:34:05,553
I didn't get that at all.
716
00:34:05,554 --> 00:34:07,185
I love this place.
717
00:34:07,186 --> 00:34:09,074
It's so chic.
718
00:34:09,075 --> 00:34:10,994
Wait, I thought you said
that the door policy
719
00:34:10,995 --> 00:34:14,066
was discriminatory and
this place was insipid.
720
00:34:14,067 --> 00:34:15,762
Well, I did say that,
721
00:34:15,763 --> 00:34:19,988
but that was before I came inside.
722
00:34:19,989 --> 00:34:21,172
I'm going to go.
723
00:34:21,173 --> 00:34:23,161
Count to five and then follow me.
724
00:34:26,038 --> 00:34:27,797
Oh, are you wearing perfume?
725
00:34:27,798 --> 00:34:28,917
Excuse me?
726
00:34:28,918 --> 00:34:30,773
Don't you feel a little bit strange
about being an artist in a world
727
00:34:30,774 --> 00:34:33,174
that's already so full of art?
728
00:34:33,175 --> 00:34:34,615
Isn't that sort of a waste?
729
00:34:34,616 --> 00:34:36,535
I forget, what do you do?
730
00:34:36,536 --> 00:34:38,231
I'm getting a doctorate at Columbia
731
00:34:38,232 --> 00:34:39,958
in postmodern criticism.
732
00:34:39,959 --> 00:34:41,976
Ugh, for me I think that
people who are creative
733
00:34:41,977 --> 00:34:43,832
are really just indulgent.
734
00:34:43,833 --> 00:34:45,465
There's only so much, and we don't,
735
00:34:45,466 --> 00:34:46,521
we don't need any more,
736
00:34:46,522 --> 00:34:47,737
and there are so many people
who are without, you know,
737
00:34:47,738 --> 00:34:51,610
you should just be a farmer.
738
00:34:51,611 --> 00:34:53,207
You can always tell what
someone thinks of you
739
00:34:53,399 --> 00:34:54,427
by who they set you up with.
740
00:34:58,551 --> 00:35:00,571
The only reason that I'm dancing with you
741
00:35:00,572 --> 00:35:03,419
is because I'm incredibly drunk.
742
00:35:03,420 --> 00:35:06,620
I despise you and everything
that you stand for.
743
00:35:06,621 --> 00:35:07,996
Where are Conrad and Beatrice?
744
00:35:07,997 --> 00:35:09,470
I don't know.
745
00:35:09,471 --> 00:35:10,985
You want to get another drink?
746
00:35:12,126 --> 00:35:15,619
You're a bit of a philistine, aren't you?
747
00:35:19,072 --> 00:35:21,055
I'm sorry, wait, tell me your name again.
748
00:35:21,056 --> 00:35:22,143
Jocelyn.
749
00:35:22,144 --> 00:35:23,328
Are you kidding me?
750
00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:25,556
I just got out of a three-year
relationship with a Jocelyn.
751
00:35:25,748 --> 00:35:26,784
Do you want to sleep over?
752
00:35:26,785 --> 00:35:28,705
Hm. Your place or mine?
753
00:35:28,706 --> 00:35:29,699
I live in a dorm.
754
00:35:32,577 --> 00:35:34,146
Definitely mine.
755
00:35:40,675 --> 00:35:43,106
You know, I realized
something the other day.
756
00:35:43,107 --> 00:35:45,956
Usually the women that I
like as human beings,
757
00:35:45,957 --> 00:35:47,459
I'm not sexually attracted to,
758
00:35:47,460 --> 00:35:49,893
and the ones that I'm
sexually attracted to,
759
00:35:49,894 --> 00:35:53,029
I don't particularly like as human beings.
760
00:35:53,030 --> 00:35:54,372
On the rare occasion
761
00:35:54,373 --> 00:35:56,645
when one of them falls
into both categories,
762
00:35:56,646 --> 00:35:59,781
they usually have a boyfriend or a husband.
763
00:35:59,782 --> 00:36:01,830
What are you trying to say?
764
00:36:01,831 --> 00:36:04,583
I'm trying to say,
765
00:36:04,584 --> 00:36:06,856
what I'm trying to say
is, you know, it's great
766
00:36:06,857 --> 00:36:09,000
that you don't have a boyfriend.
767
00:36:09,001 --> 00:36:12,840
Oh, but I am married. Is that a problem?
768
00:36:12,841 --> 00:36:13,865
You're a cheater though.
769
00:36:13,866 --> 00:36:16,197
- Oh, uh-huh, yeah.
- Right?
770
00:36:47,919 --> 00:36:49,408
I've got to tell Dylan.
771
00:37:06,674 --> 00:37:08,755
I've got to tell him, right?
772
00:37:08,756 --> 00:37:09,778
You tell him,
773
00:37:09,779 --> 00:37:13,490
you just come right out and
you just let him know,
774
00:37:13,491 --> 00:37:14,900
you just tell him.
775
00:37:14,901 --> 00:37:16,371
You've got to tell him.
776
00:37:16,372 --> 00:37:18,341
You've got to tell him, got to tell him.
777
00:37:21,589 --> 00:37:22,751
You've got to tell him.
778
00:37:25,462 --> 00:37:27,193
Oh God!
779
00:37:30,071 --> 00:37:31,319
This was it.
780
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,551
This was the moment Conrad
would right his wrongs.
781
00:37:34,552 --> 00:37:35,832
Hey.
782
00:37:35,833 --> 00:37:37,719
This was the moment he would bare his soul
783
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:38,936
to his only friend.
784
00:37:38,937 --> 00:37:39,929
What's going on?
785
00:37:39,930 --> 00:37:42,552
And tell him of his betrayal.
786
00:37:42,553 --> 00:37:45,726
This was the moment Conrad
would ask for forgiveness.
787
00:37:48,604 --> 00:37:51,994
Nothing, nothing, nothing at all.
788
00:37:51,995 --> 00:37:55,227
What? Does something
seem like it's going on?
789
00:37:55,228 --> 00:37:57,051
Yeah, seemed like you were
about to say something.
790
00:37:57,052 --> 00:37:59,131
No, uh-uh, no, no, not at all.
791
00:37:59,132 --> 00:38:00,411
Where's uh, friend?
792
00:38:00,412 --> 00:38:01,887
Oh, you mean Jocelyn?
793
00:38:02,846 --> 00:38:03,901
No, the friend.
794
00:38:03,902 --> 00:38:06,461
Yeah, the friend's name is Jocelyn.
795
00:38:06,462 --> 00:38:08,414
Oh, really? Ironic.
796
00:38:08,415 --> 00:38:10,174
I don't want to talk about it.
797
00:38:10,175 --> 00:38:11,230
Didn't have sex with her, huh?
798
00:38:11,231 --> 00:38:12,574
No, I didn't have sex with her.
799
00:38:12,575 --> 00:38:13,951
I had to talk to her all night.
800
00:38:13,952 --> 00:38:16,319
She only left half an hour ago.
801
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,440
It was horrible.
802
00:38:19,802 --> 00:38:21,216
So what happened last night?
803
00:38:21,217 --> 00:38:23,072
What happened was that it was amazing,
804
00:38:23,073 --> 00:38:25,633
and we talked until the sun came up!
805
00:38:25,634 --> 00:38:26,593
That's amazing!
806
00:38:29,698 --> 00:38:31,746
I have something I have to ask you.
807
00:38:31,747 --> 00:38:33,442
Yes.
808
00:38:33,443 --> 00:38:35,523
Are you sleeping with Beatrice?
809
00:38:35,524 --> 00:38:40,072
Uh...
810
00:38:44,868 --> 00:38:47,877
No, no, no.
811
00:38:47,878 --> 00:38:51,684
Good. Good man.
812
00:38:51,685 --> 00:38:54,246
Something I'd like to ask you.
813
00:38:54,247 --> 00:38:56,166
May I sleep with Beatrice?
814
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:58,694
Definitely not!
815
00:38:58,695 --> 00:39:00,422
No!
816
00:39:00,423 --> 00:39:01,991
Got something I'd like to tell you.
817
00:39:01,992 --> 00:39:04,455
- What is it now?
- Beatrice and I are already together.
818
00:39:04,456 --> 00:39:05,417
Dylan! Dylan! Dylan!
819
00:39:05,418 --> 00:39:07,625
- I'll kill you!
- Easy, easy!
820
00:39:07,626 --> 00:39:08,680
Now as we ease into adulthood,
821
00:39:08,681 --> 00:39:10,569
sometimes a good stiff drink
is the only excuse we have
822
00:39:10,569 --> 00:39:13,545
- for committing the atrocities...
- Ease into adulthood?
823
00:39:13,546 --> 00:39:14,568
Yes. Now come on.
824
00:39:14,569 --> 00:39:15,849
We're nearly 40!
825
00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:17,547
I said I was sorry. Okay?
826
00:39:17,548 --> 00:39:20,491
- I was going to...
- You're a selfish asshole.
827
00:39:20,492 --> 00:39:22,095
Now hang on.
828
00:39:24,973 --> 00:39:26,188
Selfish?
829
00:39:26,189 --> 00:39:27,852
Dylan, you're the one that's selfish.
830
00:39:27,853 --> 00:39:30,380
I might actually have a
shot with her, okay?
831
00:39:30,381 --> 00:39:33,676
She could be the one.
832
00:39:33,677 --> 00:39:35,757
The one!
833
00:39:35,758 --> 00:39:36,909
What are you, 14?
834
00:39:36,910 --> 00:39:38,606
It's not charming anymore, Conrad.
835
00:39:38,607 --> 00:39:40,462
I need you to sleep somewhere else tonight.
836
00:39:40,463 --> 00:39:41,574
You're kicking me out?
837
00:39:47,856 --> 00:39:49,263
And you realize by kicking me out,
838
00:39:49,264 --> 00:39:51,032
I'll probably move in with Beatrice?
839
00:39:56,113 --> 00:39:59,513
Sometimes you're your own worst enemy.
840
00:40:07,187 --> 00:40:08,787
Conrad's ability to trust
841
00:40:08,788 --> 00:40:12,500
had been marred by years
of betrayal and deceit,
842
00:40:12,501 --> 00:40:15,060
for others had only dated or befriended him
843
00:40:15,061 --> 00:40:17,941
to gain access to his wealth.
844
00:40:17,942 --> 00:40:19,926
He had been quoted on numerous occasions
845
00:40:19,927 --> 00:40:23,158
as saying that no one could be trusted.
846
00:40:23,159 --> 00:40:27,969
What he forgot to add was
that included himself.
847
00:40:37,508 --> 00:40:39,225
Well, I feel very, very conflicted.
848
00:40:39,226 --> 00:40:41,944
I-I like the idea of living
up at the summer home,
849
00:40:41,945 --> 00:40:44,058
you know, upstate, the life
of a reclusive writer.
850
00:40:44,058 --> 00:40:45,083
I really do,
851
00:40:45,084 --> 00:40:47,738
but I'm allergic to the
grass and the clean air,
852
00:40:47,739 --> 00:40:49,978
the bees, the ticks, the badgers,
853
00:40:49,979 --> 00:40:50,938
bunch of wildlife.
854
00:40:53,596 --> 00:40:55,485
What are you trying to say, Conrad?
855
00:40:55,486 --> 00:40:57,245
I'm going to move in with Beatrice.
856
00:40:57,246 --> 00:40:59,964
Oh, oh, that's great news.
857
00:40:59,965 --> 00:41:00,925
Thank you.
858
00:41:00,926 --> 00:41:02,013
Does she know that you're broke
859
00:41:02,014 --> 00:41:03,479
and have no place else to go?
860
00:41:08,575 --> 00:41:09,663
Yes.
861
00:41:09,664 --> 00:41:11,678
Don't you feel guilty about Dylan?
862
00:41:11,679 --> 00:41:12,798
Obviously, but you know,
863
00:41:12,799 --> 00:41:15,935
this is actually a very small city,
and if you meet an attractive girl,
864
00:41:15,936 --> 00:41:17,761
the chances are great
that one of your friends
865
00:41:17,761 --> 00:41:20,160
has already slept with her or wants to.
866
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,376
Hm.
867
00:41:21,377 --> 00:41:24,353
You're lying to yourself, Conrad.
868
00:41:24,354 --> 00:41:26,306
I know.
869
00:41:26,307 --> 00:41:28,870
I'm okay with it.
870
00:41:32,707 --> 00:41:34,247
Ding-dong.
871
00:41:37,124 --> 00:41:38,724
Hi.
872
00:41:38,725 --> 00:41:40,708
Bonjour, mon amour.
873
00:41:40,709 --> 00:41:41,765
What's going on?
874
00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:44,165
I'm moving in.
875
00:41:44,166 --> 00:41:46,118
What happen to Dylan's?
876
00:41:46,119 --> 00:41:49,574
I was allergic to his
sheets, Egyptian cotton.
877
00:41:49,575 --> 00:41:51,144
I have Egyptian cotton.
878
00:41:52,103 --> 00:41:54,275
Well, we'll have to do
something about that.
879
00:42:02,730 --> 00:42:04,871
I think I'm in love with you.
880
00:42:04,872 --> 00:42:06,860
How? It's only been two days.
881
00:42:08,778 --> 00:42:11,338
Then I'm in love with the idea of you.
882
00:42:11,339 --> 00:42:12,299
Not the actual me?
883
00:42:13,196 --> 00:42:15,981
Well the idea of someone is always better.
884
00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:19,980
You can't have sex with an idea.
885
00:43:02,196 --> 00:43:05,172
I'm telling you, don't put a scratch on it.
886
00:43:05,173 --> 00:43:06,163
I won't.
887
00:43:06,164 --> 00:43:08,052
Your father is going to kill me.
888
00:43:08,053 --> 00:43:09,333
She's waiting.
889
00:43:53,020 --> 00:43:55,229
Oh, there it is.
890
00:43:55,230 --> 00:43:56,957
Yeah, what do you see there?
891
00:43:56,958 --> 00:43:59,933
Well, I mean it's obvious, kind of.
892
00:43:59,934 --> 00:44:00,702
Right.
893
00:44:00,703 --> 00:44:04,926
Explosive, it's explosive.
894
00:44:04,927 --> 00:44:07,297
A car, right?
895
00:44:08,256 --> 00:44:11,042
And do you see just the headlights?
896
00:44:12,001 --> 00:44:14,529
It's a female orgasm.
897
00:44:14,530 --> 00:44:16,192
I think it's kind of clear. I don't...
898
00:44:16,193 --> 00:44:18,472
That the driver is having?
899
00:44:25,186 --> 00:44:27,075
What's wrong?
900
00:44:27,076 --> 00:44:28,035
Um,
901
00:44:29,892 --> 00:44:30,852
nothing.
902
00:44:59,689 --> 00:45:01,961
Sitting at Beatrice's piano,
903
00:45:01,962 --> 00:45:04,425
Conrad quietly read Dylan's note.
904
00:45:04,426 --> 00:45:07,209
In lieu of unnecessary explanations,
905
00:45:07,210 --> 00:45:09,708
please enjoy this Volvo.
906
00:45:10,668 --> 00:45:13,707
Conrad began to feel an odd sensation,
907
00:45:13,707 --> 00:45:15,788
one of guilt.
908
00:45:15,789 --> 00:45:17,607
He had never felt the emotion before.
909
00:45:23,277 --> 00:45:25,678
I think I have a brain tumor.
910
00:45:26,638 --> 00:45:27,597
What?
911
00:45:31,023 --> 00:45:32,314
Nothing.
912
00:45:43,825 --> 00:45:46,288
I'm not, I'm not in the mood.
913
00:45:46,289 --> 00:45:48,019
I'm sorry.
914
00:45:48,978 --> 00:45:51,185
Sorry. Sorry.
915
00:45:51,186 --> 00:45:56,082
You're never in the mood anymore.
916
00:45:56,083 --> 00:45:57,715
We had sex last night.
917
00:45:57,716 --> 00:45:59,028
Yeah.
918
00:45:59,028 --> 00:46:01,975
You seemed a little distant.
919
00:46:04,853 --> 00:46:06,932
Oh, we're just going through a dry spell.
920
00:46:06,933 --> 00:46:08,564
Dry spell?
921
00:46:08,565 --> 00:46:09,623
That's all.
922
00:46:10,582 --> 00:46:11,989
Okay.
923
00:46:11,990 --> 00:46:13,269
It's only been a week.
924
00:46:43,964 --> 00:46:45,597
Watching Beatrice
925
00:46:45,597 --> 00:46:47,517
as she delicately played the piano,
926
00:46:47,518 --> 00:46:50,652
Conrad felt horrible for
his ceaseless deception.
927
00:46:50,653 --> 00:46:55,581
For a moment he contemplated
admitting his impoverishment.
928
00:46:55,582 --> 00:46:57,733
Then the moment passed.
929
00:47:05,041 --> 00:47:06,303
How can I be with someone
930
00:47:06,304 --> 00:47:09,215
that doesn't appreciate Bach or a Valmont.
931
00:47:09,216 --> 00:47:12,928
This is a classic story, Conrad.
932
00:47:12,929 --> 00:47:14,945
Pygmalion.
933
00:47:14,946 --> 00:47:16,001
Have you even read Pygmalion.
934
00:47:16,002 --> 00:47:18,689
This has nothing to do with Pygmalion.
935
00:47:18,690 --> 00:47:21,475
You should revisit that.
936
00:47:21,476 --> 00:47:24,101
Or get the notes or I'll read it to you.
937
00:47:25,061 --> 00:47:26,222
I've seen My Fair Lady.
938
00:47:28,069 --> 00:47:29,860
Okay, Beatrice, stop right there.
939
00:47:29,860 --> 00:47:30,851
Don't move, okay?
940
00:47:30,852 --> 00:47:32,932
Don't move. Like that.
941
00:47:32,933 --> 00:47:34,084
Beautiful, you're beautiful.
942
00:47:34,085 --> 00:47:35,046
She's magnifique.
943
00:47:37,862 --> 00:47:39,226
Give me love, give me love.
944
00:47:40,102 --> 00:47:41,445
You love me?
945
00:47:41,446 --> 00:47:42,406
Smile.
946
00:47:42,407 --> 00:47:43,717
Ah, voilà.
947
00:47:43,718 --> 00:47:45,287
You love me, you love me.
948
00:47:45,288 --> 00:47:46,439
Okay. Show me, show me.
949
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:47,400
Show me you love me.
950
00:47:47,401 --> 00:47:49,320
Show me.
Okay.
951
00:47:49,321 --> 00:47:50,279
Love.
952
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,328
Hate, now, like that.
953
00:47:52,329 --> 00:47:53,287
Beautiful, beautiful.
954
00:47:53,288 --> 00:47:55,112
Love...
955
00:47:55,113 --> 00:47:56,776
...hate.
956
00:47:56,777 --> 00:47:57,993
Love.
957
00:47:57,994 --> 00:47:59,565
Voilà, one more?
958
00:48:01,483 --> 00:48:03,116
Chapter one.
959
00:48:04,076 --> 00:48:07,723
Greece is a place he had visited
many times in his mind,
960
00:48:07,724 --> 00:48:08,683
but on this day...
961
00:48:15,213 --> 00:48:17,136
Jumping forward, chapter three.
962
00:48:20,973 --> 00:48:21,932
Chapter four.
963
00:48:31,313 --> 00:48:34,642
So how long are they going to
be remodeling the Valmont?
964
00:48:36,561 --> 00:48:38,289
Uh, a couple months maybe, I think.
965
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,152
What?
966
00:48:39,153 --> 00:48:40,369
Sometimes they take a couple months.
Yeah.
967
00:48:40,370 --> 00:48:41,809
Months? You said weeks.
968
00:48:41,810 --> 00:48:42,897
Well...
969
00:48:42,898 --> 00:48:45,137
Oh.
970
00:48:45,138 --> 00:48:47,569
- Hey.
- Hey.
971
00:48:47,570 --> 00:48:48,882
I got your gift.
972
00:48:48,883 --> 00:48:49,842
Hm.
973
00:48:57,222 --> 00:48:59,444
Well, as good as it is
to bump into you guys,
974
00:48:59,445 --> 00:49:01,515
I have to go. I've got my opening tonight.
975
00:49:02,620 --> 00:49:04,981
- What part of town is that in?
- Whitman Gallery.
976
00:49:04,982 --> 00:49:06,901
Maybe we'll see you there.
977
00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:09,050
Don't know the time.
978
00:49:12,887 --> 00:49:13,846
Who's that girl?
979
00:49:15,704 --> 00:49:18,296
- Jocelyn.
- That's not Jocelyn.
980
00:49:18,297 --> 00:49:20,344
I know, the uh, the other Jocelyn.
981
00:49:21,882 --> 00:49:24,057
Let's get in this car, come on.
982
00:50:17,346 --> 00:50:19,351
I've got to go.
983
00:51:38,288 --> 00:51:39,601
Conrad had often professed
984
00:51:39,602 --> 00:51:42,802
that he led a life of the mind.
985
00:51:42,803 --> 00:51:44,594
Unfortunately for him,
986
00:51:44,595 --> 00:51:47,827
his mind had been damaged
by years of abandonment,
987
00:51:47,828 --> 00:51:50,548
philandering, Tom Collins,
988
00:51:50,548 --> 00:51:53,428
and a two-pack-per-day nicotine habit,
989
00:51:53,429 --> 00:51:56,820
not to mention an unhealthy
Oedipal complex.
990
00:51:56,821 --> 00:51:59,956
The weight of his guilt had
finally become too heavy.
991
00:51:59,957 --> 00:52:03,072
The incessant charade
could go on no longer.
992
00:52:13,623 --> 00:52:14,768
What's wrong?
993
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:16,631
Where were you?
994
00:52:16,632 --> 00:52:18,232
You left me in the concert.
995
00:52:18,233 --> 00:52:20,121
You stayed, huh?
996
00:52:20,122 --> 00:52:21,658
Actually, I did.
997
00:52:21,659 --> 00:52:22,685
It was beautiful.
998
00:52:29,083 --> 00:52:30,296
We're out of cigarettes.
999
00:52:33,821 --> 00:52:35,230
Where are we going?
1000
00:52:37,148 --> 00:52:38,492
To The Valmont.
1001
00:52:38,493 --> 00:52:40,444
Why are we hiding behind the bushes?
1002
00:52:40,445 --> 00:52:41,884
I need you to follow me
on the count of three...
1003
00:52:41,885 --> 00:52:42,976
- What?
- Ready? Go!
1004
00:52:45,854 --> 00:52:46,814
Timothy.
1005
00:52:46,815 --> 00:52:49,465
Frederick.
I don't believe you're supposed to...
1006
00:52:50,687 --> 00:52:52,446
Hello.
1007
00:52:52,447 --> 00:52:53,407
Mr. Valmont...
1008
00:52:53,408 --> 00:52:54,879
Mr. Valmont.
1009
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:55,938
Stop them!
1010
00:52:57,857 --> 00:52:59,296
What is going on?
1011
00:52:59,297 --> 00:53:00,321
This is crazy.
1012
00:53:00,513 --> 00:53:02,048
I know. Isn't it fun?
1013
00:53:02,049 --> 00:53:04,065
Where are we going?
1014
00:53:04,066 --> 00:53:05,152
Why are we...
1015
00:53:05,153 --> 00:53:06,308
Sh-h-h-h!
1016
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:10,145
Come on!
1017
00:53:15,460 --> 00:53:16,419
Please turn on the lights.
1018
00:53:16,420 --> 00:53:17,603
What is happening?
1019
00:53:17,604 --> 00:53:18,755
It's a game.
1020
00:53:18,756 --> 00:53:20,483
Hey, if you see my mother's
jewels, get those.
1021
00:53:20,484 --> 00:53:22,468
What? No, we should not do that.
1022
00:53:22,469 --> 00:53:23,428
Sh-h-h-h!
1023
00:53:26,181 --> 00:53:27,589
Uh.
1024
00:53:27,590 --> 00:53:30,151
I showed her, that washed-up debutante.
1025
00:53:36,808 --> 00:53:37,766
Shit!
1026
00:53:37,767 --> 00:53:39,816
Really, really good work, Timothy.
1027
00:53:39,817 --> 00:53:41,128
It's Frederick, sir.
1028
00:53:41,129 --> 00:53:42,631
Yes, Frederick. Sorry.
1029
00:53:42,632 --> 00:53:43,656
Yeah, I know.
1030
00:53:43,657 --> 00:53:44,935
I thank you a lot in really
picking up the pace.
1031
00:53:45,127 --> 00:53:46,569
Now you know where to return
Mother's jewels, right.
1032
00:53:46,569 --> 00:53:48,680
That's the penthouse, the East wing,
1033
00:53:48,681 --> 00:53:51,113
the Rhodesian cabinet, third drawer.
1034
00:53:51,114 --> 00:53:54,441
I've got my cigarettes.
1035
00:53:54,442 --> 00:53:56,411
Please tell Bernard that I'm very sorry.
1036
00:53:58,859 --> 00:54:00,223
I'll be right there, Honey.
1037
00:54:04,044 --> 00:54:05,739
What was all that about?
1038
00:54:05,740 --> 00:54:07,757
I'm not sure I even know anymore.
1039
00:54:07,758 --> 00:54:09,708
Conrad, what is going on?
1040
00:54:09,709 --> 00:54:11,533
You know, Beatrice,
1041
00:54:11,534 --> 00:54:13,100
I only moved in with you
1042
00:54:13,101 --> 00:54:14,285
because I've got no place else to go.
1043
00:54:14,286 --> 00:54:15,246
Okay? I'm broke.
1044
00:54:15,247 --> 00:54:16,623
What do you mean?
1045
00:54:16,624 --> 00:54:17,901
I have nothing.
1046
00:54:17,902 --> 00:54:19,246
I was kicked out of The Valmont.
1047
00:54:19,247 --> 00:54:21,006
My parents cut me off.
1048
00:54:21,007 --> 00:54:22,767
Conrad, you're nearly 40 years old.
1049
00:54:22,768 --> 00:54:24,270
Well, that's completely irrelevant.
1050
00:54:24,271 --> 00:54:26,512
I've got separation anxiety,
abandonment issues.
1051
00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:29,360
Are you saying you've been
lying to me this entire time?
1052
00:54:29,361 --> 00:54:33,202
Yes, but I'm not the only liar.
1053
00:54:33,203 --> 00:54:35,345
I saw you with Dylan earlier today.
1054
00:54:35,346 --> 00:54:36,401
What?
1055
00:54:36,402 --> 00:54:39,186
You've been following me now?
1056
00:54:39,187 --> 00:54:42,483
I-I was trying to patch
things up between you.
1057
00:54:42,484 --> 00:54:43,890
God, grow up!
1058
00:54:43,891 --> 00:54:46,772
No, you are not honest with yourself.
That's your problem.
1059
00:54:46,773 --> 00:54:48,564
Okay? You're always acting so virtuous,
1060
00:54:48,565 --> 00:54:49,555
you're always talking
about how you want to be
1061
00:54:49,556 --> 00:54:50,996
a bohemian musician.
1062
00:54:50,997 --> 00:54:54,581
In the end, you're just a model.
1063
00:54:54,582 --> 00:54:56,916
But at least I have a job.
1064
00:54:56,917 --> 00:54:59,670
You have just managed to coast through life
without worrying about money
1065
00:54:59,671 --> 00:55:01,687
or anything else pertaining to reality.
1066
00:55:01,688 --> 00:55:04,055
You are just a philandering narcissist
1067
00:55:04,056 --> 00:55:06,166
who is so afraid of being alone
because when you are alone,
1068
00:55:06,167 --> 00:55:08,279
you are going to realize
how empty your life is,
1069
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:09,847
and you know what, I should
have gone with Dylan
1070
00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:11,735
because between the two of
you, he was the nice one.
1071
00:55:11,736 --> 00:55:14,105
You are insufferable!
1072
00:55:14,106 --> 00:55:16,697
Didn't seem to bother you
when I was flipping the bill.
1073
00:55:16,889 --> 00:55:18,426
All right. You're just
like the rest of them.
1074
00:55:18,427 --> 00:55:20,377
You are only with me for the money.
1075
00:55:20,378 --> 00:55:22,490
I am the only girl you have ever been with
1076
00:55:22,491 --> 00:55:23,738
who wasn't just in it for the money,
1077
00:55:23,739 --> 00:55:25,153
and besides, you were broke.
1078
00:55:28,476 --> 00:55:31,041
Well, you didn't know that.
1079
00:57:09,199 --> 00:57:11,853
Staring into the grill of a bread truck,
1080
00:57:11,854 --> 00:57:14,221
Conrad couldn't help but
think of the poor woman
1081
00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:19,536
who had been diagnosed with
witzelsucht, the joking disease.
1082
00:57:19,536 --> 00:57:23,567
In a daze, he suddenly began
to speak fluent German,
1083
00:57:23,568 --> 00:57:26,152
though he had never studied the language.
1084
00:57:33,970 --> 00:57:36,019
He promptly lost consciousness.
1085
00:57:47,413 --> 00:57:48,723
Where does it hurt?
1086
00:57:48,724 --> 00:57:53,590
Uh, uberall.
1087
00:57:53,591 --> 00:57:57,463
Conrad's worst fear had come true.
1088
00:57:57,464 --> 00:57:59,768
He was all alone.
1089
00:58:04,665 --> 00:58:06,007
Hello?
1090
00:58:06,008 --> 00:58:06,967
Who's this?
1091
00:58:07,609 --> 00:58:09,464
It's your son, Conrad. Hi.
1092
00:58:09,465 --> 00:58:11,224
- Connie.
- What's the... Where are you?
1093
00:58:11,225 --> 00:58:12,280
What's that noise?
1094
00:58:12,281 --> 00:58:13,795
Can't you see I'm preoccupied.
1095
00:58:17,115 --> 00:58:18,939
When are you coming home?
1096
00:58:18,940 --> 00:58:19,899
I don't know, Darling.
1097
00:58:20,091 --> 00:58:22,780
Divorce of this stature can take some time.
1098
00:58:26,845 --> 00:58:29,532
How long do you think?
1099
00:58:29,533 --> 00:58:30,799
Look, I have to go.
1100
00:58:49,024 --> 00:58:50,538
Maybe this will all blow over.
1101
00:58:52,148 --> 00:58:54,369
I just saw the most
amazing performance piece
1102
00:58:54,370 --> 00:58:56,320
where a husband and wife
tied themselves together
1103
00:58:56,321 --> 00:58:58,754
with a 10-foot rope for an entire year.
1104
00:58:58,755 --> 00:59:01,666
It was a commentary on
the modern relationship.
1105
00:59:01,667 --> 00:59:03,202
That is the most beautiful metaphor
1106
00:59:03,203 --> 00:59:07,522
I've ever heard. What happened to them?
1107
00:59:07,523 --> 00:59:09,027
They got a divorce.
1108
00:59:09,028 --> 00:59:10,217
Hm.
1109
00:59:14,651 --> 00:59:16,772
I heard you went out with Beatrice earlier.
1110
00:59:16,773 --> 00:59:19,650
She was trying to get me to do
what we're doing right now.
1111
00:59:23,271 --> 00:59:25,447
Dylan, I guess you were right.
1112
00:59:25,448 --> 00:59:26,599
About what?
1113
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:29,453
Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.
1114
00:59:35,208 --> 00:59:36,572
What happened to your face?
1115
00:59:39,978 --> 00:59:41,705
I got hit by a truck.
1116
00:59:41,706 --> 00:59:42,665
Uh-hm.
1117
00:59:43,530 --> 00:59:44,620
Zeus is dead.
1118
00:59:46,538 --> 00:59:48,235
You could fetter my leg,
1119
00:59:48,236 --> 00:59:52,142
but Zeus himself cannot get
the better of my free will.
1120
00:59:54,060 --> 00:59:56,942
And I want my Volvo back,
that was just a joke.
1121
00:59:57,901 --> 00:59:59,789
So how are things with Jocelyn?
1122
00:59:59,790 --> 01:00:02,157
Oh, we broke up again.
1123
01:00:02,158 --> 01:00:04,574
This time it's for good.
I think she was stealing from me.
1124
01:00:06,862 --> 01:00:08,002
That's rough.
1125
01:00:08,193 --> 01:00:10,734
How are things with Beatrice?
1126
01:00:10,735 --> 01:00:11,758
Not so good.
1127
01:00:11,759 --> 01:00:13,134
No?
1128
01:00:13,135 --> 01:00:14,351
Well, it's not a surprise
1129
01:00:14,352 --> 01:00:16,946
considering what an asshole you are.
1130
01:00:17,906 --> 01:00:19,153
I resent that.
1131
01:00:19,153 --> 01:00:21,235
Well, you should. It was an insult.
1132
01:00:22,194 --> 01:00:24,304
You're not still mad at me, are you?
1133
01:00:24,305 --> 01:00:25,365
Not at all...
1134
01:00:29,202 --> 01:00:30,161
Maybe a little.
1135
01:00:32,052 --> 01:00:35,253
I really thought Beatrice
and I were going to last.
1136
01:00:37,171 --> 01:00:38,131
What is it?
1137
01:00:40,341 --> 01:00:41,588
- Hi.
- Hello.
1138
01:00:41,589 --> 01:00:46,998
Now, you two seem like fans of literature.
1139
01:00:46,999 --> 01:00:51,606
I have got a very impressive
library at my apartment.
1140
01:00:51,607 --> 01:00:53,783
- Really?
- Uh-hm.
1141
01:00:53,784 --> 01:00:55,801
Do you want to see my Balzac collection?
1142
01:00:57,337 --> 01:00:59,255
You sure you don't want to do anything?
1143
01:00:59,256 --> 01:01:00,695
I can't, sorry.
1144
01:01:00,696 --> 01:01:04,539
It would be a misrepresentation
of how I feel inside.
1145
01:01:06,457 --> 01:01:08,123
I don't even know what that means.
1146
01:01:09,978 --> 01:01:12,219
Well, that's exactly the problem.
1147
01:01:25,372 --> 01:01:27,381
You can, uh, keep the Volvo.
1148
01:02:02,565 --> 01:02:04,708
Beatrice, it's Conrad.
1149
01:02:04,708 --> 01:02:05,988
Give me a call.
1150
01:02:05,989 --> 01:02:06,948
Call me back.
1151
01:02:15,557 --> 01:02:17,541
What do you see, Conrad?
1152
01:02:17,542 --> 01:02:18,501
Sex.
1153
01:02:20,552 --> 01:02:21,576
And now?
1154
01:02:21,768 --> 01:02:24,230
Beatrice. I mean, sex.
1155
01:02:24,231 --> 01:02:25,773
I mean, wait, Beatrice.
1156
01:02:30,569 --> 01:02:32,010
Now?
1157
01:02:32,969 --> 01:02:33,996
Sex.
1158
01:02:35,915 --> 01:02:38,411
This isn't healthy, Conrad.
1159
01:02:40,330 --> 01:02:41,289
I know that.
1160
01:02:43,147 --> 01:02:45,130
Meanwhile, Beatrice visited
1161
01:02:45,131 --> 01:02:46,955
her Upper West Side mystic
1162
01:02:46,956 --> 01:02:49,967
in an attempt to find similar
answers to her quandary.
1163
01:02:51,886 --> 01:02:52,911
Unfortunately,
1164
01:02:54,829 --> 01:02:56,975
her prospects were less than ideal.
1165
01:02:58,860 --> 01:03:00,526
I mean, I-I've only just moved in.
1166
01:03:00,527 --> 01:03:01,941
She's already kicked me out.
1167
01:03:02,799 --> 01:03:04,336
I don't know what to do.
1168
01:03:05,295 --> 01:03:07,470
Sometimes we have to make sacrifices
1169
01:03:07,471 --> 01:03:09,294
for the ones we love.
1170
01:03:09,295 --> 01:03:10,767
This literary moral code of yours
1171
01:03:10,768 --> 01:03:12,047
is completely unrealistic.
1172
01:03:12,048 --> 01:03:13,872
This isn't a Jane Austin novel,
1173
01:03:13,873 --> 01:03:15,892
and I'm certainly not Emily Post.
1174
01:03:17,810 --> 01:03:21,681
You have the moral code
of a Bolshevik, Conrad.
1175
01:03:21,682 --> 01:03:24,401
I mean, I'm, I'm having an
existential crisis here.
1176
01:03:24,402 --> 01:03:25,834
I can't stop thinking about her.
1177
01:03:26,026 --> 01:03:27,413
I think I need to see a doctor.
1178
01:03:29,171 --> 01:03:32,922
Conrad, I am a doctor.
1179
01:03:37,718 --> 01:03:39,189
Beatrice?
1180
01:03:40,149 --> 01:03:41,181
Beatrice?
1181
01:03:47,895 --> 01:03:49,557
Note to self,
1182
01:03:49,558 --> 01:03:52,279
upon a second reading,
my analyst was correct.
1183
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:55,504
It has everything to do with Pygmalion.
1184
01:04:20,318 --> 01:04:21,789
Dylan?
1185
01:04:21,790 --> 01:04:23,389
Wake up!
1186
01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:24,860
What? What is it?
1187
01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:27,006
I need Jocelyn's phone number.
1188
01:04:30,815 --> 01:04:31,774
Magnifique.
1189
01:04:35,488 --> 01:04:38,526
Love, hate.
1190
01:04:38,527 --> 01:04:40,640
Stop! Don't move. Voilà.
1191
01:04:40,641 --> 01:04:42,529
Superb, superb.
1192
01:04:48,867 --> 01:04:50,144
Huh.
1193
01:04:50,145 --> 01:04:52,815
Okay, let's uh, let's take a break. Hm.
1194
01:05:04,325 --> 01:05:06,917
Hi.
1195
01:05:06,918 --> 01:05:08,964
What happened to your head?
1196
01:05:08,965 --> 01:05:10,950
I got hit by a truck.
1197
01:05:10,951 --> 01:05:12,136
Yeah.
1198
01:05:14,055 --> 01:05:16,007
I like this music selection.
1199
01:05:16,008 --> 01:05:17,510
Whose is it?
1200
01:05:17,511 --> 01:05:18,986
What are you doing here?
1201
01:05:20,905 --> 01:05:23,655
I'm quitting.
1202
01:05:23,656 --> 01:05:24,615
The whole act.
1203
01:05:27,114 --> 01:05:30,025
Well, it wasn't the act that bothered me.
1204
01:05:30,026 --> 01:05:31,594
It was the cover-up.
1205
01:05:32,553 --> 01:05:34,441
Well, the act was the cover-up.
1206
01:05:34,442 --> 01:05:35,945
I have to go back to work.
1207
01:05:35,946 --> 01:05:37,001
Can I have one hour?
1208
01:05:37,002 --> 01:05:39,147
I just need one hour.
1209
01:05:39,148 --> 01:05:40,714
Okay. One hour.
1210
01:05:40,715 --> 01:05:43,027
Yeah, thanks. I'll be right here.
1211
01:05:57,134 --> 01:05:58,541
I hate surprises.
1212
01:05:58,542 --> 01:06:00,057
You're going to like this one.
1213
01:06:04,751 --> 01:06:05,839
I don't understand.
1214
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:07,816
It's for both of us. Don't get too excited.
1215
01:06:08,008 --> 01:06:09,073
It's just a rental.
1216
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,601
You didn't.
1217
01:06:11,602 --> 01:06:12,730
I did.
1218
01:06:22,322 --> 01:06:23,281
How?
1219
01:06:31,862 --> 01:06:33,478
There's no leaks in the ceiling.
1220
01:06:35,638 --> 01:06:37,625
Got his and her bathrooms.
1221
01:06:39,543 --> 01:06:41,275
This water is not brown.
1222
01:06:47,031 --> 01:06:47,990
What's wrong?
1223
01:06:51,641 --> 01:06:52,986
Nothing.
1224
01:06:54,905 --> 01:06:56,888
So, did you actually go
1225
01:06:56,888 --> 01:06:59,450
to the Picasso retrospective last week?
1226
01:06:59,451 --> 01:07:00,569
It was horrid.
1227
01:07:00,570 --> 01:07:01,562
I know.
1228
01:07:01,563 --> 01:07:04,377
I'm, I'm sorry, but I like his work,
1229
01:07:04,378 --> 01:07:06,649
pretentious and adolescent.
1230
01:07:06,650 --> 01:07:11,355
You know, if he would just take a step back
and have someone...
1231
01:07:11,356 --> 01:07:12,628
Have you ever noticed that the people
1232
01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:14,332
who make fun of people for being pretentious
1233
01:07:14,333 --> 01:07:16,894
are usually the pretentious ones?
1234
01:07:21,661 --> 01:07:25,501
Have you ever noticed how
people only lash out on others
1235
01:07:25,502 --> 01:07:28,606
because they're afraid of what they see
1236
01:07:28,607 --> 01:07:30,147
if they see themselves?
1237
01:07:33,748 --> 01:07:35,263
What if I tell you I love you?
1238
01:07:35,264 --> 01:07:37,132
Does that mean I actually love myself?
1239
01:07:39,809 --> 01:07:40,768
Exactly.
1240
01:07:42,530 --> 01:07:43,489
I love you.
1241
01:07:47,267 --> 01:07:48,844
I love you, too.
1242
01:07:59,396 --> 01:08:01,028
It was at that moment,
1243
01:08:01,029 --> 01:08:04,550
Conrad and Beatrice knew that it was over.
1244
01:08:04,551 --> 01:08:07,749
Beatrice couldn't help but
feel sympathy for Conrad,
1245
01:08:07,750 --> 01:08:10,792
not love, but sympathy.
1246
01:08:11,751 --> 01:08:13,898
One can often get confused for the other.
1247
01:08:16,776 --> 01:08:19,495
As the two exited the station,
1248
01:08:19,496 --> 01:08:22,411
they waved good-bye to
one another as usual.
1249
01:08:24,330 --> 01:08:28,085
It would be the last time they
would ever see each other.
1250
01:08:41,196 --> 01:08:43,595
It seemed there was an
unavoidable distinction
1251
01:08:43,596 --> 01:08:45,420
between Conrad and Beatrice
1252
01:08:45,421 --> 01:08:47,980
that had rendered them incompatible.
1253
01:08:47,981 --> 01:08:50,157
She was a hopeless romantic,
1254
01:08:50,158 --> 01:08:52,240
and he was romantically hopeless.
1255
01:08:53,199 --> 01:08:54,574
By the week's end,
1256
01:08:54,575 --> 01:08:56,142
Conrad had received a telegram
1257
01:08:56,143 --> 01:08:59,503
informing him of his
parents' reconciliation.
1258
01:08:59,504 --> 01:09:02,256
Their week-long divorce had grown tiresome,
1259
01:09:02,257 --> 01:09:05,554
and they were to return
home in two days' time.
1260
01:09:06,513 --> 01:09:09,040
As much as Beatrice had tried,
1261
01:09:09,041 --> 01:09:11,957
she was unable to forget Conrad's actions.
1262
01:09:24,404 --> 01:09:25,235
Note to self,
1263
01:09:25,236 --> 01:09:28,211
see doctor about possible brain tumor.
1264
01:09:28,212 --> 01:09:30,228
Conrad went on to keep the empty apartment
1265
01:09:30,229 --> 01:09:33,592
as a sort of metaphor for
the void left by Beatrice.
1266
01:09:35,510 --> 01:09:37,722
He told no one of its existence.
1267
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:43,703
It wasn't until years later
that Conrad would realize
1268
01:09:43,704 --> 01:09:45,815
love was just like communism,
1269
01:09:45,816 --> 01:09:49,657
it was a great idea but
never quite worked out.
1270
01:09:49,658 --> 01:09:51,416
Conrad may have told others
1271
01:09:51,417 --> 01:09:53,176
that he was in search of a girlfriend,
1272
01:09:53,177 --> 01:09:56,537
a future wife, but it was merely rhetoric.
1273
01:09:56,538 --> 01:09:59,034
Conrad's search was for an idyllic beauty
1274
01:09:59,035 --> 01:10:01,050
he would never attain.
1275
01:10:01,051 --> 01:10:05,179
Conrad often became attached
to the idea of something
1276
01:10:05,180 --> 01:10:07,837
and not the actual thing itself.
1277
01:10:08,796 --> 01:10:09,885
Back in The Valmont
1278
01:10:09,886 --> 01:10:12,380
with his credit cards once again active,
1279
01:10:12,381 --> 01:10:14,957
Conrad resumed the life he
was accustomed to living,
1280
01:10:15,677 --> 01:10:17,405
but something was different.
1281
01:10:17,406 --> 01:10:19,426
Like this one, right there. Get that one.
1282
01:10:20,926 --> 01:10:22,048
I missed it.
1283
01:10:23,967 --> 01:10:26,741
Tell me why the hell are
we fishing with spears?
1284
01:10:47,844 --> 01:10:48,841
What's wrong?
1285
01:10:53,637 --> 01:10:54,748
It's been a long week.
1286
01:10:55,675 --> 01:10:57,796
With the matriarch of The Valmont household
1287
01:10:57,796 --> 01:10:59,812
once again home,
1288
01:10:59,813 --> 01:11:04,710
Conrad was able to let out a
decade of emotions and fears,
1289
01:11:04,711 --> 01:11:06,663
for she had long been the only person
1290
01:11:06,663 --> 01:11:08,971
he would truly confide in.
1291
01:11:12,808 --> 01:11:14,777
I think there's something wrong with me.
1292
01:11:15,369 --> 01:11:17,288
In an attempt to change his ways...
1293
01:11:17,289 --> 01:11:18,568
Ding dong!
1294
01:11:18,569 --> 01:11:20,499
...Conrad started down
the road to redemption
1295
01:11:20,691 --> 01:11:22,796
with the simple gesture
of quitting cigarettes,
1296
01:11:23,755 --> 01:11:27,305
of getting his father's
Austin-Healey out of hock,
1297
01:11:27,306 --> 01:11:30,571
and on one spring afternoon
while Dylan was out,
1298
01:11:30,572 --> 01:11:32,587
Conrad snuck into his friend's apartment
1299
01:11:32,588 --> 01:11:34,475
to finally repay him.
1300
01:11:34,476 --> 01:11:36,780
He not only monetarily compensated Dylan
1301
01:11:36,781 --> 01:11:38,188
for his loan,
1302
01:11:38,189 --> 01:11:40,941
but also included the keys to his Volvo
1303
01:11:40,942 --> 01:11:44,846
and an inflation-adjusted interest of 20%.
1304
01:11:45,805 --> 01:11:47,533
These are classic symptoms.
1305
01:11:47,534 --> 01:11:49,302
I think you're a closet agoraphobic.
1306
01:11:50,895 --> 01:11:52,592
I'm terminating our sessions.
1307
01:11:53,492 --> 01:11:55,310
Conrad, can we talk about this later?
1308
01:11:55,311 --> 01:11:57,008
I'm in the middle of a session.
1309
01:11:57,009 --> 01:11:58,319
I don't care.
1310
01:11:58,320 --> 01:11:59,823
I'm getting worse.
1311
01:11:59,824 --> 01:12:02,008
Beatrice broke up with me
and I got hit by a truck.
1312
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:03,249
Look at me, I'm a mess.
1313
01:12:03,250 --> 01:12:04,849
Why do you think that is?
1314
01:12:04,850 --> 01:12:06,258
Your bad advice.
1315
01:12:06,259 --> 01:12:08,209
Conrad, I've been your therapist
1316
01:12:08,210 --> 01:12:10,098
since you were nine years old.
1317
01:12:10,099 --> 01:12:11,890
Indeed, I think it's all that bad advice
1318
01:12:11,891 --> 01:12:14,227
that made me the bad person I am today.
1319
01:12:14,228 --> 01:12:16,339
It's going to take a very long
time to recover from this.
1320
01:12:16,340 --> 01:12:17,299
Farewell.
1321
01:12:23,542 --> 01:12:25,158
Perhaps he had the wrong office.
1322
01:12:27,734 --> 01:12:29,077
Hypothetically speaking,
1323
01:12:29,078 --> 01:12:31,510
do you think someone could
have a Napoleonic complex
1324
01:12:31,511 --> 01:12:34,933
without being particularly short?
1325
01:12:34,934 --> 01:12:36,919
I don't believe so.
1326
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:39,703
What would you call this
hypothetical person then?
1327
01:12:39,704 --> 01:12:40,663
An egoist?
1328
01:12:41,464 --> 01:12:43,704
Egoist.
1329
01:12:43,704 --> 01:12:46,170
I think I'm an egoist.
1330
01:12:47,129 --> 01:12:49,047
I've never told you this before, but...
1331
01:12:51,322 --> 01:12:53,568
you're a horrible writer.
1332
01:12:58,364 --> 01:12:59,325
I know.
1333
01:13:03,196 --> 01:13:04,252
After several years
1334
01:13:04,253 --> 01:13:07,164
of deliberation and public speculation,
1335
01:13:07,165 --> 01:13:09,589
Conrad had finally finished
his sophomore effort.
1336
01:13:11,486 --> 01:13:13,340
His inability to complete the novel
1337
01:13:13,341 --> 01:13:16,190
had simply stemmed from
his lack of understanding
1338
01:13:16,191 --> 01:13:18,911
its central character, of course.
1339
01:13:18,912 --> 01:13:21,793
The central character was himself.
1340
01:13:22,711 --> 01:13:24,479
The book was published in the spring
1341
01:13:24,480 --> 01:13:26,465
and received mixed reviews.
1342
01:13:27,425 --> 01:13:30,400
He proceeded to wave good-bye
to Abigail as if routine,
1343
01:13:30,401 --> 01:13:34,082
for he was convinced that
this was not the last time
1344
01:13:34,082 --> 01:13:35,937
that they would ever see each other.
1345
01:13:35,938 --> 01:13:37,761
Harold went on to keep the empty apartment
1346
01:13:37,762 --> 01:13:41,762
as sort of a metaphor for
the void left by Abigail.
1347
01:13:41,763 --> 01:13:45,541
He told no one of its existence.
1348
01:13:49,893 --> 01:13:50,891
Thank you.
1349
01:13:56,401 --> 01:13:58,118
How do you respond to the criticism
1350
01:13:58,119 --> 01:14:00,261
that your novel is inherently derivative
1351
01:14:00,262 --> 01:14:03,210
of the works of Fitzgerald
and Edith Wharton?
1352
01:14:06,088 --> 01:14:07,305
Thank you.
1353
01:14:08,264 --> 01:14:10,439
Mr. Valmont, I'm sorry,
but I found the book
1354
01:14:10,440 --> 01:14:12,360
and the central character adolescent
1355
01:14:12,361 --> 01:14:14,696
and his problems grossly inconsequential
1356
01:14:14,697 --> 01:14:16,489
by modern social standards.
1357
01:14:16,490 --> 01:14:17,672
Don't you find his change at the end
1358
01:14:17,673 --> 01:14:21,162
slightly contrived and frankly, sophomoric.
1359
01:14:21,163 --> 01:14:23,210
I completely disagree.
I find him quite likable
1360
01:14:23,211 --> 01:14:25,424
and his change rather significant.
1361
01:14:29,207 --> 01:14:30,571
At a matinee performance of
1362
01:14:30,572 --> 01:14:31,834
Les Caprices de Marianne,
1363
01:14:32,630 --> 01:14:34,700
the play which the once tightly knit group
1364
01:14:34,701 --> 01:14:37,388
had all seen together,
Dylan ran into Beatrice
1365
01:14:37,389 --> 01:14:40,590
for the first time since
her split with Conrad.
1366
01:14:40,591 --> 01:14:43,629
This was not a coincidence,
however, for each had
1367
01:14:43,630 --> 01:14:47,055
mysteriously received a
ticket two days prior.
1368
01:14:47,056 --> 01:14:49,806
Conrad had sent the tickets
in an attempt to pay penance
1369
01:14:49,807 --> 01:14:52,174
for his actions the previous week.
1370
01:14:52,175 --> 01:14:54,863
The two then went to a small
bar in the West Village
1371
01:14:54,864 --> 01:14:56,975
to speak about the play.
1372
01:14:56,976 --> 01:14:59,537
They both enjoyed it and had
seen it with a nostalgia
1373
01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:01,809
for their old times together.
1374
01:15:01,809 --> 01:15:03,889
They made love that night
1375
01:15:03,890 --> 01:15:07,186
and have been together ever since.
1376
01:15:07,187 --> 01:15:08,626
Dylan finally read
1377
01:15:08,627 --> 01:15:12,243
Jane Austin's pre-Victorian
classic Sense and Sensibility.
1378
01:15:12,244 --> 01:15:15,251
He found it neither
sentimental nor unrealistic,
1379
01:15:15,252 --> 01:15:16,951
but actually quite relatable.
1380
01:15:18,869 --> 01:15:21,845
Soon after their encounter
outside the Hudson Playhouse,
1381
01:15:21,846 --> 01:15:23,861
Beatrice gave up her modeling exploits
1382
01:15:23,862 --> 01:15:26,966
and formed a jazz ensemble with Dylan.
1383
01:15:26,967 --> 01:15:30,166
They achieved moderate
success and were happy.
1384
01:15:30,167 --> 01:15:33,241
Consequently, they both put on 15 pounds.
1385
01:15:35,159 --> 01:15:38,006
Conrad and Dylan continued
their weekly conversations
1386
01:15:38,007 --> 01:15:39,992
over squash,
1387
01:15:39,993 --> 01:15:42,618
and for the first time, Dylan won.
1388
01:15:43,578 --> 01:15:46,777
Conrad saw this as a sign of change.
1389
01:15:46,778 --> 01:15:50,461
Dylan, however, merely felt
a sense of satisfaction.
1390
01:15:53,339 --> 01:15:56,731
Conrad would go on to donate a
large portion of his wealth
1391
01:15:56,732 --> 01:16:00,316
to various charities and
philanthropic endeavors.
1392
01:16:00,317 --> 01:16:03,132
Unfortunately, it took losing everything
1393
01:16:03,133 --> 01:16:04,892
for Conrad to finally appreciate
1394
01:16:04,893 --> 01:16:08,062
the economic stability he once had.
1395
01:16:08,063 --> 01:16:11,138
He wasn't going to take
it for granted this time.
1396
01:16:13,665 --> 01:16:15,231
I really despise the whole idea
1397
01:16:15,232 --> 01:16:18,271
that by being over privileged
and well educated,
1398
01:16:18,272 --> 01:16:20,640
that one has to live up to
certain lofty expectations.
1399
01:16:20,641 --> 01:16:23,456
For one, you have to live
under the proverbial shadow
1400
01:16:23,457 --> 01:16:25,440
of said father and-or namesake.
1401
01:16:25,441 --> 01:16:29,248
Two, lofty expectations can
only lead to failure, hm?
1402
01:16:29,249 --> 01:16:32,865
And three, more scientifically
and mathematically speaking,
1403
01:16:32,866 --> 01:16:34,530
if your parents were a great success,
1404
01:16:34,531 --> 01:16:38,434
I think a betting man would say that the
chances of lightning striking twice,
1405
01:16:38,626 --> 01:16:41,347
especially in consecutive generations,
is very slim.
1406
01:16:41,348 --> 01:16:44,677
You do realize you're
talking to your chauffeur.
1407
01:16:45,636 --> 01:16:46,595
Touché.
1408
01:16:47,967 --> 01:16:49,381
After the lukewarm reception
1409
01:16:49,382 --> 01:16:50,436
of his second novel,
1410
01:16:50,437 --> 01:16:54,341
Conrad began to spend
more time in the country,
1411
01:16:54,342 --> 01:16:57,543
to focus on the work,
1412
01:16:57,544 --> 01:17:01,287
for it was only there that he felt at ease.
1413
01:17:01,287 --> 01:17:03,943
It appeared Conrad's allergies
to grass and clean air
1414
01:17:03,944 --> 01:17:06,823
had been completely psychosomatic.
1415
01:17:06,824 --> 01:17:10,025
He began to reflect back
on his week with Beatrice
1416
01:17:10,026 --> 01:17:11,560
and thought of the old adage
1417
01:17:11,561 --> 01:17:13,769
"Tis better to have loved and lost
1418
01:17:13,770 --> 01:17:16,874
"than to have never loved at all."
1419
01:17:16,875 --> 01:17:19,210
Conrad reluctantly agreed,
1420
01:17:19,211 --> 01:17:22,475
for he still thought of Beatrice often.
1421
01:17:22,476 --> 01:17:25,899
At the ripe age of 42,
1422
01:17:25,900 --> 01:17:29,214
Conrad Valmont was finally growing up.