1 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,197 Hey, what's up, everybody? I'm Thurgood Jenkins. 2 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,312 It's funny, but I can trace the entire path of my life 3 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,954 to one childhood memory. 4 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,152 My last clear memory, really. It was the summer before ninth grade. 5 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:52,593 There was me, Brian, Kenny, Scarface and, of course, the loveable Old James. 6 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:57,111 Hold on, wait a minute, Old James? Old James wasn't there. 7 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,470 I don't even know nobody named Old James. Shoot. 8 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:01,919 Go on! 9 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,873 - Why don't you light it up there, brother? - All right, here goes nothing. 10 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:18,474 I don't remember graduating. My first sexual experience - I don't remember that either. 11 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:25,119 But, man, I will never, ever forget the first time I smoked that sweet, sweet chiba. 12 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:29,392 - Feel anything? - Yeah, I feel my chest cavin' in. 13 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,879 - Man, this stuff didn't even work. - Man! 14 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,072 Come on, let's get some candy and get out of here, B. 15 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:55,030 I've heard people say they don't get high the first time they smoke. 16 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,799 Not me. No, not us. 17 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,912 We were really, really high. 18 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,428 We was tore up! 19 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,717 - Do you guys feel different? - A little. 20 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,716 How about you, Scarface? 21 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,555 And you, Kenny? 22 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,549 I haven't been so thirsty in my entire life. 23 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,909 Do you guys hear that? 24 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,428 Feels like Jerry Garcia's in my head. 25 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,471 Am I going crazy? 26 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:39,674 We look at that day as the day we met the fifth member of our crew... marijuana! 27 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,435 Oh, Lord, we was hooked! 28 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,428 So now we all live together in New York. 29 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,278 I myself am a master of the custodial arts. 30 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:54,029 Or a janitor, if you want to be a dick about it. 31 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:58,119 Anyway, I work at this lab, Frankensense and Burr Pharmaceutical. 32 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:02,756 They do pharmaceutical testing for the government and big corporations. 33 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,792 And I am the happiest custodian alive. 34 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,438 This job sucks. 35 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,108 Abba-Zaba... you are my only friend. 36 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,152 It could be worse. I could have Scarface's job. 37 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,512 - Heifer with cheese. - You son of a bitch, I'm right behind you! 38 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,154 Turn and ask me for a Heifer with cheese, yo! 39 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,909 Why you gotta make me feel inferior cos I'm on the grill, B? Damn! 40 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,679 Scarface is a hyper guy for a pothead. 41 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:35,755 Sorry. 42 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,712 Kenny is probably doing the best out of all of us. 43 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,479 He's a kindergarten teacher downtown, 44 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:45,354 which I know might scare parents, seeing as how he's a weedhead. 45 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:50,599 Let me tell you, man, that guy does wonders for those children's self-esteem. 46 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,359 - Thank you. - I love you so much, little one. 47 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,397 All of you. All of you are so good. 48 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:03,709 Brian works at a new and used record store. He gets to talk about music all day. 49 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,149 Perfect job for a stoner. 50 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,193 Lady, you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? 51 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,917 - I'll give you five. - Uh-uh, he autographed it himself. 52 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,435 All right, I'll give you four. 53 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,710 Jan, stop it, man. 54 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,475 As far as herb goes, you can get it all over this town. 55 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,115 They might call it the city that never sleeps, but I'll tell you this, 56 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,232 it takes a lot of fuckin' weed naps. 57 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,759 Free! 58 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,112 You can get the stuff at corner stores called bodegas. Say it with me. 59 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,072 Bodegas. Yes, very good. 60 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,954 These places always have incredibly old products, 61 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,036 but the weed ain't bad. 62 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:53,518 - Let me get four dime bags. - I have no idea what you're talking about. 63 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,953 Jose, you crazy, man. Come on, man, let me get them dimes. 64 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,719 The problem is they never remember you. 65 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,196 You have to do something extreme to let 'em know you're cool. 66 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,995 - Hey, fellas. Y'all know me. Look at this. - Hey, black ass! 67 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,517 - Why you didn't moon us earlier? - It's a little degrading. 68 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,557 You can get it from the Rastas at Washington Square Park. 69 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:25,071 But their stuff ain't weed most of the time. I don't fall for that shit any more. 70 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,995 Then there's a delivery service run by Samson Simpson. 71 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:37,353 When you can afford it, this is the best way. You can get anything from weed to heroin. 72 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,710 I don't do drugs, though, just weed. 73 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:41,749 Coming. 74 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:47,557 You call them up and a half-hour later you got a delivery guy at your house. 75 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,273 What a country! 76 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,873 You called about your plumbing? Empty pipes? 77 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,469 - Secret code. - Come on in. 78 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:03,477 - Highs, mediums or lows? - How are the highs, man? 79 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:09,595 I'd say they got a piney taste, almost minty. Notice the little red hairs and rich greenery? 80 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,713 - I see those. - The highest grade hydroponics in the city. 81 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:18,959 What, did you go to weed college? Damn, nigger. All right, give me a 50 bag of that. 82 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,235 - Been a pleasure. - Pleasure's all mine. 83 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:26,158 - Tell Samson I say hello, would you? - Sure thing. 84 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:32,036 Everybody has their own little ritual when it comes to smoking. We were no different. 85 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,356 - Break out Billy Bong Thornton. - Yeah! 86 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,631 Billy, good to see you, man! 87 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,349 All right, light it up. 88 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,197 Shoes off. 89 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:59,839 - Oh. Brian, put yours back on, man. - For real, amigo. Do your sock laundry, yo. 90 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,998 Gentlemen... 91 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,394 assume your positions. 92 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,514 Fire in the hole. 93 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:33,630 - Yo, who's on munchies tonight, yo? - Not me. 94 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,557 I guess that'd be me. 95 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,635 What do you guys want? 96 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,955 Get some... 97 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:47,994 sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man. 98 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:53,034 Some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice-cream bars. 99 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,152 Make sure, chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. 100 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,351 Some popcorn, bread popcorn. Graham crackers. 101 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,552 Graham crackers with the marshmallows, chocolate bars. We'll make smores, man! 102 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,397 That's what I was sayin'! 103 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,633 Also celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the crunch berries. 104 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:15,390 Pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man. Everything on 'em. 105 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,749 With water, a whole lot of water. 106 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,791 And... 107 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,796 Funyuns. 108 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,831 Yeah. 109 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,315 - That's it? - Yeah. 110 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,351 Anyone want anything else? 111 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,994 Oh, yeah. Get me a box of condoms 112 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,554 and... what's that stuff? 113 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,990 We used to eat it all the time back in the day. Pussy! 114 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,191 - You got it. - Thanks, man. 115 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,992 And, hey... 116 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:47,989 If I'm not back in ten minutes, call the police. 117 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,671 If he ain't back in ten minutes, we callin' Domino's! 118 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,313 Hey, girl, you hungry? 119 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,351 Fuck you, nigger! 120 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,437 Hey, I'm sorry. I was talking to the horse here. 121 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,554 See the trouble you're gettin' me into? 122 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,714 You're hungry, aren't ya? Here. 123 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,035 Oh-h! Huh-h? 124 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,355 You like popcorn. 125 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,710 It makes your teeth go pop, pop, pop! 126 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,430 This is Buster Phillips and coming in at N0.8 like El Niño - 127 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,758 "Samson Gets Me Lifted" by my main man! Who? Sir Smoka Lot. 128 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,789 Rrrrrr! 129 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,917 This guy is weed crazy! Look at that! 130 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:58,953 - What do you want, master? - Bitch, you know what I want. 131 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,154 That is so cool, man. He got the same dealer as us. 132 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,918 Who do you mean? 133 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,632 Samson! 134 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:22,069 Oh, right. 135 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,997 I wanna get right here. 136 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,039 I'm all out. 137 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,992 I'm all out of food. You ate it all. 138 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,749 Gee, you must've been so hungry. 139 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,712 Uh-oh! 140 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,478 Oh! 141 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,512 Buttercup! Buttercup! 142 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,397 I need an ambulance, now! Officer down! 143 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:01,275 I repeat, officer down! What the hell did you give my Buttercup? 144 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:06,394 I just gave him some candy and some chips, some pink popcorn and some Funyuns... 145 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,910 This horse is a diabetic! 146 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,234 Arrrgh! 147 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,272 Buttercup, Buttercup! 148 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,756 Don't you leave me. Breathe, Buttercup! 149 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:21,156 Breathe, breathe! 150 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,514 Why?! 151 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,998 - Why? - Why? 152 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,877 - You're under arrest. - What? 153 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,390 - You dumb son of a bitch! - No! 154 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,318 I'm a... I'm a peaceful man. 155 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,557 - I'm a schoolteacher! - Shut up! You're a cop killer! 156 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,558 Cop killer? I love horses! 157 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,795 - I love horses. - I love horses. 158 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,037 - I love Buttered Stuff. - Buttercup! Say it! 159 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,277 - Butter nuts. - Cup, cup, cup! 160 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,118 Why must you rage? Stop the hate, child. 161 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:13,837 Bail is set at one million dollars for the crime of killing an officer of the law. 162 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:18,556 And may God have mercy on your soul, young man. This court is adjourned. 163 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,398 Back to your cells. Lockdown. 164 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,076 Good night, fish. 165 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:33,113 Fish! Fish! Fish! Fish... 166 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,196 My weed's wearing off. 167 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,959 Fish! Fish! Fish! 168 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,675 - Guess who! - Yo, Thurgood. 169 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,790 Oh, ho-ho! 170 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,796 - Hey, nigger, what time is it? - 8.30. 171 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,592 Kenny didn't come home last night. 172 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,835 - We are worried, man. - Worried, yo. 173 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,552 Where the hell is he? 174 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,790 Did he just move? 175 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:07,270 "Kenny called. He's in jail. He didn't leave a number. 176 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,118 "Sincerely, The Guy on the Couch." 177 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:17,278 Come on, guys. We gotta get Kenny out of jail, man. 178 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,549 Hey, Kenny, how they treating you? 179 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,673 Let's just say I'm not gettin' the respect a cop killer deserves. 180 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,438 All right, time's up. Break off. 181 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,710 I was up all night... 182 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,876 getting harassed! 183 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,435 - Hi, there, fish. - See what I mean? 184 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,996 I think they're mistaking my kindness for weakness. I'm scared! 185 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,593 Hey, Kenny, we're gonna get you out of there, man. 186 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:50,236 All we gotta do is raise ten per cent of one million, which, by our calculations... 187 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,874 Is fucking impossible, man! 188 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,831 Hey! 189 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,189 Sorry, man. I'm sorry. 190 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,438 All my life, I did everything right. I never screwed up. 191 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:05,678 I fed the horse. I didn't know it was a diabetic. 192 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,438 I'm scared! 193 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,631 Kenny, stop crying. Stop crying, Kenny! Look at me. 194 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,276 Don't let 'em see you cry in there. 195 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,311 - Show me your mean face. - No. 196 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,430 Yes, show me your mean face! 197 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:25,716 That's good. I mean, work on it a little bit, but it's good. 198 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,518 - Kenny, how long can you make it in there? - I don't know. 199 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,790 Maybe five... 200 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:34,829 6.30. 201 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,279 Man, it's gotta be a little longer than that. 202 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,634 But... but we'll get you out, right, guys? 203 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:47,070 - Yeah, you're out. You're outta here. - Free as a bird. 204 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,351 Number nine, time's up. 205 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,755 - Time's up, number nine. - That's me. 206 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,956 I love you guys. 207 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,477 Have fun, Ken. 208 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,633 - He looked all right, man. - They're gonna kill him in there, yo. 209 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,439 Hey, lady. 210 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,232 Miss, is this your purse? 211 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,510 - Yes. - I'm sexy. 212 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:19,716 I'm a scholar. People like me. 213 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,237 Give it to me. Bye. 214 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,317 - Hey, where are you going? - I'm leaving. 215 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,715 Well, can I leave with ya? 216 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,354 Follow me. 217 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,037 - And your name is? - Mary Jane. 218 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,672 Really? 219 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,188 Yes. So what's up with this? 220 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,550 - Is that your work uniform? - Nah, this is my costume. 221 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,910 Tomorrow I'll be a cowboy, the day after that I'll be an Indian. 222 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:52,353 Every day of the week, I dress up like a different Village Person. It's a thing I'm into. 223 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,550 No, I'm a custodian. 224 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,591 So, what are you here for? 225 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,598 - Possession of narcotics. - Wow. 226 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,837 - My father's a drug dealer. - That must've been the shit. 227 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,919 - It ruined his life. - That must've been shitty. 228 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,554 I don't do drugs. Drugs make me sick. 229 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,797 They're bad for your body. Up with hope, down with dope! 230 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,479 Thurgood, come on, man. We gotta go. 231 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,478 Get on the train. Toke up before we go to work. 232 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:23,188 - Yo, let's go. - What are you doing, man? 233 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,789 Bouncy. Body. Is that Prell? Do you use Prell? 234 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,877 Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! 235 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,718 Hey, guys, meet Mary Jane. 236 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,035 That's what he's sayin'. We wanna burn one. 237 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,911 No, no. 238 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,951 This is Mary Jane. 239 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,992 Meet her. Say hello to her. Shake her hand, even. 240 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,873 - Oh, dear, my fault. What's up? - Hi. 241 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,753 - All right. - Hey. 242 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,793 Do you guys need a ride? I have a car. You don't have to take the subway. 243 00:16:55,200 --> 00:17:00,194 - You smoke? - No, my grandmother died of lung cancer. 244 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:04,119 - I'm sorry to hear that. - All the more reason to toke up, man. 245 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,436 Ease the pain. That's what I'm talkin' about. 246 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:14,190 You know, I think what they're really trying to say is that we'd love a ride home. 247 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,276 Great. 248 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,436 - What's wrong? - She look good! 249 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,951 - Mary Jane! What is that about, man? - I hate y'all. 250 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,592 Shotgun! 251 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:31,074 - Thanks for this ride. We appreciate it. - Sure. 252 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:36,073 Guys, shut up about the weed. I don't want this girl to know I smoke. 253 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:39,795 - Yeah, it's bad enough you're a janitor, yo. - Custodian, dick! 254 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,794 - Hey. - Hey. 255 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,719 Mr Funk... # 256 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,912 - Is this good for you? - Could you drop me in the lobby? Perfect. 257 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,909 She wanted me to say something. I had to make my move while the guys were asleep. 258 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:19,112 I'm real bad at this, but you think sometime we could get together, 259 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,879 maybe go out for some ice cream or something? 260 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,512 Aggghhh-eee! 261 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,394 - Motherfucker said, "Ice cream"! - Ice cream! 262 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,635 - Damn. - OK. 263 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,912 - All the boys in the car need to get out. - Such a dork, man. 264 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,030 Thanks a lot, fellas. 265 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,150 - Thanks for the ride. - Thurgood! 266 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,555 - I knew it. - You forgot your hat. 267 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,230 I knew it. 268 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,831 You know, I mighta came on too strong with the whole ice cream thing. 269 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,077 - Let me give you my number. Is that cool? - OK. 270 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:57,399 Don't call too late cos you know I be strippin' in the evenings! Joking! 271 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,311 - Here you go. You can call me any time. - Maybe. 272 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:08,673 "Maybe" is acceptable. It's that "no" thing that gets me. Maybe I'll hear from you. 273 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,711 - Bye. - Be thinking about you. 274 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,151 Dr Koplesky, please report to Clinical Studies. 275 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,350 - Dr Koplesky... - Janitor? 276 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,630 - ...clinical studies. - Uh, Janitor? 277 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,272 Ahhh! 278 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,915 - Sorry about that. What is it, scientist? - Could you... 279 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,428 I know this isn't your responsibility, 280 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,995 but would you run this down to the supply department for me? 281 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,349 - Second floor. - Just run this down? 282 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:41,554 Yes. But make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it ASAP. 283 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:47,311 Gotcha. I know this isn't your responsibility, but mop this shit up. I'll be right back. 284 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,069 It smell like... It smell like... 285 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:57,238 No... No... 286 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,271 I smell weed, man. 287 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,311 Hey, here you go. 288 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,512 - This all you need? - I guess. I don't know. 289 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,635 - Just a sec. - OK. 290 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,159 Damn. 291 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:17,316 Either someone's having a party or somebody gotta do their shirt laundry. 292 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:23,233 Here you go. One pound of marijuana and you can sign for it right here. 293 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,354 I sign for this and it's mine? And I take it? 294 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,757 Oh, yeah! 295 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,314 Thank you. Thank you very much. 296 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,995 Some good shit. 297 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:52,750 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. 298 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,391 Look, here's... 299 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,989 Here's a... little something for your troubles. 300 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,789 - Thank you, thank you. - Shhh. 301 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,549 - Let's not tell anyone about it, OK? - Sure. 302 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,313 Why didn't you tell me you were into this? We coulda been hanging out. 303 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:20,717 No, no, the Food and Drug Administration are having us do a study 304 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:26,630 to determine what, if any, are the medicinal purposes of marijuana. 305 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,830 Mmm. Wow. 306 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,519 If you ever need a guinea pig, let me know. 307 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,074 My grandpa was in the Tuskegee experiments. 308 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,634 Oh, really? 309 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,319 Anyway, thank you, janitor. Enjoy. 310 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,238 Thank you, scientist. Got any papers? 311 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,395 No cocktail party would be complete without the ice plant. 312 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,591 Hey, fellas, what's going on? 313 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,357 - Nothing, man. - Bummin', thinking about Kenny. 314 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,391 Yeah. 315 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,398 I got some weed at work today if y'all wanna try it out. 316 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,908 Nah, we don't feel like smokin' right now. 317 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,951 Me neither. 318 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,356 - Me neither. - It belongs to the nicotine family 319 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,595 and we know it as the tobacco plant. 320 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,952 Well, here's a chap contemplating a purchase... 321 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,151 - So y'all want to smoke? - I'll get Billy Bong Thornton. 322 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:26,638 No, Scarface. No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That would not be right. 323 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,956 Use Wesley Pipes. Yeah! 324 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:38,791 They got a bunch of this stuff at work. One of them scientists gave it to me. 325 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:43,951 Ain't tried the shit out yet, but it smells like the bomb. 326 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,436 - All right! - Yeah, man, yeah. 327 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,472 - I'll do the honours. - Please do. 328 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:09,709 Yo, this shit must be good, B. My man ain't coughed like that since back in the day. 329 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,431 You sure I should do this, man? 330 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,158 Oh, yeah. That shit made my head hot. 331 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,031 Oh, man. 332 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:32,513 Pass it this way. Don't break the cipher. 333 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,553 Hold it. I gotta give the Guy some of this. The Guy gotta taste this. 334 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,674 Hey, Guy. Hey, man. 335 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,479 Sorry to wake you, but you gotta try this. 336 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,836 I'm taking it slow, man. 337 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,231 Hey, who's on munchies tonight? 338 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,158 We should make that lazy bitch, the Guy, go. 339 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,113 For real. I don't know about y'all, but I can't even move. 340 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,752 For real, B, right? 341 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,955 It's like I feel stuck here, yo. 342 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,797 Like I'm glued to the floor. 343 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,111 You guys feel like you're floating? 344 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,754 - Yeah. - Yeah. 345 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,632 - Wanna go outside? - Yeah. 346 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:59,714 I don't need to tell you this, but this weed was the shiz-nittle-bam-snip-snap-sack! 347 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,916 Look at that! 348 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,669 Hey, you guys, let's go check in on Kenny, huh? 349 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,872 You're not a fish, you're a man. 350 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,550 You're not a fish, you're a man. 351 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,838 Where did that come from? 352 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,069 We really gotta get this guy outta jail. 353 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:35,390 You walk around on both legs, homo erectus! 354 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,916 Did I say "homo"? I didn't mean that! 355 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,757 Thurgood! Thurgood! 356 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,512 I got it! I know how we could get Kenny out! 357 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:54,156 - How? - Weed, man. We'll sell weed. 358 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:59,194 Man, you can't up and decide to sell weed. You gotta know people to plug you into that. 359 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,071 - I do! - Who? 360 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:04,157 - You, yo. - Me? 361 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:08,716 You think I can just walk in and take this shit? I gotta get a form from a scientist. 362 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:13,356 Well, how hard can it be, man? There's gotta be forms laying around. 363 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,472 I mean, they are scientists. 364 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,239 What the fuck are you talkin' about, man? 365 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:24,035 Look, I'm not stealing weed. We are not selling weed. 366 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:28,676 - We are reasonably bright young men. - Bully, man. 367 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:33,271 There has got to be a legitimate way to come up with this money. 368 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,039 We just gotta think, that's all that is. 369 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,272 Wait, wait, I think I got an idea. 370 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:59,039 Why don't we sell that shit we smoked the other night, yo? 371 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,072 - You suggested that already. - For real, B? 372 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:06,033 Marijuana affects the memory. 373 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,275 It won't take us hardly any time, B. 374 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,238 - Too risky, man. - Stop being such a wuss, yo! 375 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,999 - What other choice do we have, right? - Yeah. 376 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,597 OK, fine, we'll do it. 377 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,792 - Yeah. - We'll do it till Kenny's out and we're done. 378 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,196 We're not drug dealers, we're fundraisers. 379 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,150 - Of course, B. - Bully, man. 380 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,191 OK. 381 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,835 Scarface, lay it on me, brother. 382 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,868 Check it out, yo. It's like this... 383 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,115 Scarface's plan wasn't that bad. 384 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,311 - Good night, Mike. - See you tomorrow. 385 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:44,351 Good night... 386 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:50,348 All I had to do was get forms from that scientist that kept calling me janitor, 387 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:54,439 - forge one and put the order in like before. - Thank you. 388 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,838 Then we scraped together our money and bought bikes to help us move the product 389 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:04,271 and then stapled samples of our weed on the back of our business cards. 390 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:08,996 We called the company Mr Nice Guy in honour of our friend Kenny. 391 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,999 Hey, you guys believe in angels or... 392 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,998 Man, give me your fruit cocktail. 393 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,996 Well, I can't. 394 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:24,875 If I did that, then I'd have to give it to you every day and I won't get all my vitamins. 395 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,390 - Do you know who you're dealing with? - Chill, Nasty Nate. 396 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:34,197 He's my bitch. Anybody gonna stab him, it's gonna be me. You got a problem with that? 397 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,388 Watch your back, fish. Squirrel Master won't be there for you all the time. 398 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:46,513 Cos next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail, fruit! 399 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,157 Take it. 400 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,988 I'm somebody's bitch. 401 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:04,191 You gotta do something. This guy, Nasty Nate, is after my cocktail fruit. 402 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:09,314 Everyone here likes fresh fish, then the Squirrel Master told me I'm his bitch and... 403 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:13,069 - Help! - Ken, listen, man. We got a plan. 404 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:17,830 - What is it? - It's not honest. You might not like it. 405 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,509 - We gonna sell weed, yo. - Yeah, great, weed, good, go. 406 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,949 - All right, man. - Go! 407 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,548 No more window love. Go and sell it. 408 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,639 We figured the best way to spread the word was to hit the streets... 409 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,671 and hit the streets we did. 410 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,156 Mary Ja-ane 411 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,071 Three for dinner. Ha, ha-ha! 412 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,554 Smoke that and get back to us. 413 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,989 Mr Nice Guy has arrived, baby. 414 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,758 He's on. 415 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,439 All right! 416 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,797 Oh, yes! 417 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,990 Look at all these people, man! 418 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,396 All right, be quick. Let's just do this and get out of here. 419 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,671 - Let's go. - Let's go, man. 420 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,478 - How did you guys make out? - I'm out of cards. 421 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,910 - Me, too. - That would make three of us. 422 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,873 All right. We did our part, right? Let's just hope they smoke it. 423 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,629 Mary Ja-ane 424 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:55,276 Mary Ja-ane 425 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,114 - Damn, this weed is good! - Yeah! 426 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,559 Mary Ja-ane 427 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,590 We are in business, man. 428 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,115 - Mr Nice Guy. - Oh, I may have the wrong number. 429 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,358 - Um, is Thurgood around? - Speaking. 430 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:34,110 Hey, it's Mary Jane. Do you remember I gave you a ride home from prison? 431 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:39,553 Well, could you be a little more specific? I get so many rides home from prison. 432 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:44,674 That was a joke. What happened? I didn't think you were gonna call me. 433 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:49,794 I wasn't, but then I decided I don't care what my friends think. 434 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,752 See, that was a joke. Get it? A little joke. 435 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,509 Not funny. So, you wanna get together? 436 00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,030 OK, sure. When? 437 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:04,153 How about right now? Meet me at the place you dropped us off at. 438 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,556 OK. Can you give me half an hour? 439 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,070 - Yeah, half an hour's cool. - Great. I'll see you there. 440 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,270 OK. 441 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,709 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 442 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:20,829 Ha, ha, ha-ha! 443 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,395 Ha, ha, ha-ha! 444 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:27,592 - I've got a date with Mary Jane! Yes! - Word, yo! 445 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,030 - All right, man. - Y'all got money? 446 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:36,870 The date couldn't have come at a worse time, man. I was flat broke. 447 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,912 All my money was tied up in our drug-dealing venture. 448 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:45,353 I only had eight bucks. This was gonna take some careful budgeting and manoeuvring. 449 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,231 Watch the master at work. 450 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,919 - You look great, wonderful. - Thank you. 451 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:55,193 You know what? I was thinking, it's so nice out, wanna go for a walk? 452 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:59,711 - Yeah, sure. We can go for a walk. - Good, good. Let's. 453 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,672 So far, so good. 454 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:07,714 Three hours and 14 miles later, I hadn't spent one penny. 455 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,548 Damn, I was good! And then it happened. 456 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,559 I'm hungry too. Hey, you wanna eat at the Happy Palace? 457 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:19,991 - How about a hot dog, huh? Hey, what luck! - Hot dog. 458 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:24,989 - Hey, what can I get you? - A hot dog with ketchup and sauerkraut. 459 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,634 - Sauerkraut's 50 cents extra. - Damn! 460 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,672 I have not had a hot dog in so long. 461 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,598 - Let's get outta here. - Anything to drink? 462 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,632 - Son of a bitch! - Could I have a Pepsi, please? 463 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,637 - Anything for you, sir? - No. I'm fine. Thank you. 464 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:44,070 - Greedy bastard! - You promised me ice cream the other day. 465 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,396 I know a really good place uptown. 466 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,034 Great. Let's hoof it. 467 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,834 Um, would you mind if we take a cab this time? 468 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:55,472 Sure. 469 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,715 - Thanks a lot, buddy - You should be happy with the tip! 470 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:08,230 - You should be kissing my ass. - You guys are greedy. 471 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,670 - Best ice cream in town. - Spare change for some food? 472 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,874 - Don't mind if I do. - Thanks, brother. 473 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,673 No, thank you. 474 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,512 Yeah, I mean, I do miss my dad. 475 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,279 But he deserves to be where he is. 476 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,993 Drug dealers belong in jail. 477 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,237 Yeah. Yeah, wow. Yeah. 478 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:40,478 - Um, how long has he been in there? - Four years, next month. 479 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,991 - Four years. What exactly was he selling? - Marijuana. 480 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,998 Four years just for weed?! Damn! 481 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,508 Just? No, no, no, no. Not just. 482 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:55,759 Marijuana is terrible. It's a gateway drug. Everybody knows it leads to other stuff. 483 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,268 Yeah, mostly junk food. 484 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,271 You don't smoke weed, do you? 485 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:09,836 Come on, Mary Jane. I mean, do I look like somebody that would smoke marijuana? 486 00:35:10,720 --> 00:35:14,269 - So you swear you don't. - Yeah, sure. 487 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:19,075 OK, well, swear on this banana split that you don't do marijuana. 488 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,873 What? Oh, my... 489 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,229 Do you swear? 490 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,593 Yes, Mary Jane, I swear... 491 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,598 That you got pretty eyes! 492 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,437 That's good. 493 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,797 That's real good. 494 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,638 I got some booty. I got some booty. 495 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,990 I got some booty. It was really good, too. 496 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,077 She was a giver, a caring nurturer. 497 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:50,750 She held me in her arms and it was like I was 15 years old all over again. 498 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,519 I was hooked on Mary Jane. 499 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:58,068 The next day, the phones blew up like we were having a fuckin' telethon! 500 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,908 Everybody in New York was calling to get down with Mr Nice Guy. 501 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,997 We met all kinds of customers, like this guy here. 502 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,190 He's what we call an enhancement smoker. 503 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,994 He thinks marijuana makes every activity that much better. 504 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,349 - Mi casa su casa. - Observe. 505 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:17,279 You're Scarface, right? I love Al Pacino, man. 506 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,312 - Did you ever see Scent Of A Woman? - Yep. 507 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,194 Have you ever seen Scent Of A Woman 508 00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:26,595 on weed? 509 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:31,475 That's the way to see it, man! It's just whacked! Pow! 510 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,070 - 60 bucks, yo. - That's cool, man. 511 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,111 I got it, I got it. 512 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:45,037 - Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill? - No, I don't know, yo. 513 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,719 Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill... 514 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,875 on weed? 515 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:53,436 Some weird shit in there. A dude sitting in the bushes. Does he have a gun? 516 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:58,076 I don't know, man! What? What? Red team, go! Red team, go! 517 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:02,113 - Just some weird shit, man. - You're fucking crazy, yo. Take your shit. 518 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,152 That's cool. Thanks, man. Hey, yo, wait. 519 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,316 Dude, I'm gonna check out the stars later. 520 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:11,672 It's really trippy. Especially on weed, man. 521 00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:15,110 A scavenger smoker never has weed of their own. 522 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,038 As soon as you smoke it, here they come. 523 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,469 - Damn! - What up? 524 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,432 What's up, dogs? Let me get in here. What y'all doing? 525 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,233 Nothin'. Just chilling. 526 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,113 I smell it. Let me inhale it. Let me have some. 527 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:34,996 All right, man. Just one hit, you scavenger. Always come around. 528 00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,919 Can't even smoke weed in peace. 529 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:50,593 - I ain't even into the motherfucker yet. - You know we sell this? Did you know that? 530 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,309 It's too bad, man. I just stopped smoking yesterday. 531 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,675 I'm gonna get up outta here. Nice seeing y'all. 532 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,790 Yeah... 533 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,638 Then there's the "You Should've Been There" smoker. 534 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:11,070 Love talking about the old days back when weed was grass. 535 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,078 In the '60s, we were smoking shit on the street. 536 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:18,159 Cops didn't say nothing. They was getting high, too. Everybody did it. 537 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:22,432 It wasn't the thing to do because it was the thing to do, but because it got you high. 538 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:26,598 - Can you dig? - I feel ya. That's why I'm doing it. I feel it. 539 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:33,150 Man, you're cool as shit, mister. I hate to do it, but I gotta charge you. That's 60 bucks. 540 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,158 - 60 bucks? - Yeah. 541 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:40,398 Man, I remember when a dime bag cost a dime, you know what I mean? 542 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,830 - You know how much condoms cost then? - How much? 543 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,633 I don't know. We never used 'em. 544 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,513 We call this kid the After School Special smoker. 545 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:55,554 He spends all of his allowance on reefer. Thanks, little buddy. 546 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,990 In the next room, his father, an "I'm 40, But Still Cool"smoker, 547 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:02,999 is toking up, trying to figure out a way to bond with his son. 548 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,634 Isn't that ironic, don't you think? 549 00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,470 Across town, the kid's nana's smoking to ease her glaucoma. 550 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,592 And it's good for arthritis, too. 551 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,712 We made over 20 grand that first week, man. 552 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,799 Because we were stealing the weed, not buying it, it was all profit. 553 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:26,995 But if we were gonna save Kenny, we had to deliver full-time. Scarface quit his job. 554 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,759 Still waiting on that Heifer, Julio. 555 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,350 Fuck you. Fuck you. 556 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,675 Fuck you. You're cool. 557 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,039 And fuck you. I'm out! 558 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:46,028 Brian was gonna quit, but they fired him before he could. 559 00:39:54,240 --> 00:39:56,071 Don't worry. 560 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,875 Don't worry. 561 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,276 I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do... 562 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,469 Flip out, man! 563 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,351 All I wanna know is... 564 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,152 who's coming with me? 565 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,832 Who's coming, man? Who's coming with me? 566 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,030 Huh? 567 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,913 Who's coming with me, man? 568 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,318 I will. 569 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:25,871 Jan. 570 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:29,674 Thank you, Jan. Yeah! 571 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:36,751 That's what I'm talking about! Bully, man! Yeah! 572 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,631 Oh, Jan, 573 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,194 will you be my girlfriend? 574 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:49,231 I would, um... 575 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,555 - but I'm gay, you know? - Ah. 576 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,910 - I'm a big dyke. - What's that like? 577 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,758 Thank you for calling. Thank you. Bye-bye. 578 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:02,396 We had to hire Jan cos she followed Brian, but it actually worked out. 579 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:07,673 She was more organised than we were and she was willing to work for weed. 580 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,470 Mr Nice Guy was blowing up, man. 581 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,911 We got customers from all over New York. We even stole a few from Samson. 582 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,873 What's up, nigger? Come on in, man. Come on, weed man. 583 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:24,718 Thanks, baby. Get on. Beat it. You're scaring him. 584 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,318 Yeah... 585 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,430 Sir Smoka Lot... 586 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,677 - What can I get you today, Smoka Lot? - Love weed. 587 00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:36,874 - Let me get a pound of your sweetest chiba. - Something told me to bring a lot of weed! 588 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:38,433 Aw, shit. 589 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:43,075 A pound of my sweetest chiba. Don't get no better than that. 590 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:47,511 - Can smell it through the bag, baby. - That's gonna be 9,600 bucks, bro. 591 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,154 Let's see what I got here. 592 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:57,190 Come on, hang out. Smoke with me. I got weed, got my bong out. Come on. 593 00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:03,233 For you, man, I'll stay for a minute, but then I gotta be... gotta be going. 594 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,078 I understand. 595 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:11,114 Man, Smoka Lot opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters. It was ridiculous. 596 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:15,472 - He told me about his lawyer... - He had sex with my mama! Why? 597 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:19,718 - ...his spirituality... - God, if you listenin', help! 598 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,274 - ...his bad back... - Doctor said I need a backeotomy. 599 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:26,029 - ...his love life. - I'm impotent! Get away from me, bitch! 600 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,152 - Talk about a guy with problems. - Tough break. 601 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:33,034 - I can't take it no more. - No wonder he smokes a pound a week. 602 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,274 Somebody wanna? 603 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:38,677 - So now we had a famous clientele and... - Green-eyes gonna miss ya! 604 00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:42,679 - And guess what else? - Call me next week. About weed. 605 00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:46,030 I got more booty! I got more booty! 606 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:50,790 I don't mean to rub it in, folks, but it's just that I liked this so much. 607 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:54,753 When I was with her, I didn't think about weed. Didn't have to. 608 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:59,396 - Bye. - She was all the Mary Jane I needed. 609 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:37,509 What did I tell you, Nate? Come on, come on. 610 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,199 Come on. Come on, Nate. 611 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,869 - He had to stay vigilant. - Wash off your... 612 00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,992 Kenny's butt-hole was in constant jeopardy. 613 00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:52,397 - But we were making money. - Hey, what's up, mates? 614 00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,193 - What's up, boy? - Nada. Just chilling. 615 00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:59,556 Hey, guys, why is there a dog biting the Guy? 616 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:04,594 - Cos I bought a dog, B. - You bought a dog? For how much? 617 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:09,794 It's cool, yo. He's used. Including the house, it was only 250, yo. 618 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,274 You spent $250 on a used dog? 619 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,993 And a dog house. Brian bought something, too. 620 00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:19,989 For $400, I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man. 621 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,999 - Who the hell told you that? - The guy who sold it to me. Barry Garcia. 622 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,032 - Is he supposed to be Jerry's brother? - No. 623 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,516 Actually, it's Andy Garcia's brother. 624 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:35,998 Why the hell are you guys spendin' money? We're not drug dealers, we're fundraisers. 625 00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,635 You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace. 626 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,148 - How much did that cost, man? - Ah. 627 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:47,194 Obviously, you missed the point of that story. Come on, guys, return this shit. 628 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:50,835 - We can't, yo. - Why am I telling Mary Jane I've no money? 629 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:55,670 - Cos you're a fibber. - No, because we don't have any money. 630 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,756 The money we have is not for spending, 631 00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:02,430 it's for saving Kenny's sweet virgin ass, man! 632 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:06,519 If you guys spend one more dime, I swear I will bitch-slap you! 633 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,677 Gimme that. 634 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,151 Sorry for yelling 635 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,316 but I'm serious. 636 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:21,435 We gotta start being more responsible and focused, all right? Let's be sharp. 637 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,916 Scarface, your dog is mean, man. 638 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,951 I know, all right. 639 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,117 Somebody gotta do something about this shit right now. 640 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,912 Come here, doggie. 641 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,474 Hey, little fella. Smell it. 642 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:37,512 Hey! Smell it. OK, all right. 643 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,550 Good boy. 644 00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,478 He likes it! He loves it, man. 645 00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,956 - Of course he loves it. - Your paws are tingling, aren't they? 646 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,036 Now you're one of us. 647 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,514 Hey. All right. 648 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,551 Get it, Killer. 649 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:59,833 - He likes it, yo. - Yeah, man, he really likes it. 650 00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:02,713 - Look at him, man. - Good for you, man. 651 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,479 - What did you guys do to him? - Nothing. 652 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:08,990 Killer, kill! Killer, kill, yo! 653 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,958 This weed is fantastic! 654 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:29,070 We kept delivering the weed and meeting different kinds of smokers, like this lady, 655 00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,588 an "I'm Only Creative If I Smoke"smoker. 656 00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:36,589 She believes weed, and only weed, brings out the artist in her. 657 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,313 - Like to hear my poetry? - Not really. 658 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,351 You really should. 659 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,754 I have killed, I have helped kill 660 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:52,313 I have killed part of myself, I cannot change this, I 661 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,989 I must seek Buddha. I must seek Christ 662 00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:02,070 You must seek therapy. That's what I would go with, but that's my own... 663 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:06,079 The MacGyver smoker is a very handy guy to have around, 664 00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,839 especially when it comes to reefer. 665 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:15,074 - Hey, man, we're out of papers. - Get a toilet roll, a corkscrew and tinfoil. 666 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,429 We don't have a corkscrew. 667 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:21,519 All right. Then get me an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel. 668 00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,119 Trust me, bro. I've made bongs with less. Hurry up! 669 00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:30,598 Then you got straight-up potheads. You can spot them by their lack of motivation, 670 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:35,350 mood swings, forgetfulness and, of course, the dreaded low sperm count. 671 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,153 I don't know which category we fall into, 672 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,954 but I'll tell you this, we ain't goddamn potheads! 673 00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:45,749 Shit. 674 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,070 Then you have the avid non-smoker. 675 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,908 Often they'll get your number accidentally from one of their girlfriends, 676 00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,713 call with an order, knowing they don't smoke weed, 677 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,115 and request that you deliver it. 678 00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:01,631 Then when you get there, they're all mad that it's you sellin' weed. 679 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,990 You smoke weed? At last we can share everything! 680 00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,998 Get off me, you lying son of a bitch! 681 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:12,589 - What is this? - Looks like some sort of a business card. 682 00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:16,189 Yeah, with your number on it. I can't believe this. 683 00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:20,074 I can't believe I fell for another one of you lowlife assholes! 684 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:21,917 God, what is wrong with me? 685 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:25,635 Hey, Mary Jane, I can explain everything, all right? 686 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,831 - Goodbye, Thurgood. - Hold up. Hey, Mary Jane. 687 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:35,557 The only reason I lied to you was because I like you and I wanted to be with you. 688 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,197 Mary Jane. 689 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:53,909 Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world 690 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:57,270 of a man who does not exist. 691 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:04,238 - Thurgood, why the long face, man? - Mary Jane dumped me. 692 00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:08,796 - Quiet down, yo. Sir Smoka Lot's on TV. - Cecil? 693 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,151 Oh, damn it! 694 00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,199 That's when things started going wrong. 695 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:29,198 Samson, looks like somebody is cutting into your business, baby. 696 00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:33,233 - Shit. - Do you like what you see, Samson? 697 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:36,113 Do I look like I like what I see? 698 00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,958 Who is this Mr Nice Guy? 699 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:44,074 - I'd imagine he's some sort of drug dealer. - Go get me this Mr Nice Guy. 700 00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:47,476 I wanna sit him down and ask him some questions. 701 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:53,516 - Hey, Squirrel Master. - Kenny. 702 00:49:54,880 --> 00:50:00,910 Listen, I... just wanted to say thank you for protecting me back there. 703 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,748 We didn't mind, did we, Fuzzy Nuts? 704 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:08,998 I hope there's some way I can pay you back when we get on the outside. 705 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:13,431 - Better hurry up cos I get out in 11 days. - Is that right? 706 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:22,354 Kenny, 11 days? That seems a little stiff, man. 707 00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:25,756 11 days, Thurgood. I'm as good as skewered. 708 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,156 Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield? 709 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:30,792 Oof... 710 00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:35,072 Hurry, Thurgood, I'm counting on you, man. Please! Please! 711 00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:39,159 11 days didn't give us much time. We really had to hustle. 712 00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,555 That meant taking on new customers. 713 00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,875 Damn, B, I been set up. 714 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:07,713 We'll get back to that, but meanwhile I hadn't seen Mary Jane in, like, a week. 715 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:10,911 I couldn't stop thinking about her, man. I missed her. 716 00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:15,750 I started thinking about the fact that she was the only girl I'd slept with in five years. 717 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:18,633 Then I thought about the girl I slept with before her. 718 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,994 I had to get Mary Jane back. 719 00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,510 - What do you want? - I want you back, Mary Jane. 720 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:34,712 I miss you. I'll do whatever it takes to get you back. 721 00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:41,353 I can't quit selling it yet, but I'll quit smoking it. I'll change for you. 722 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:47,077 - Heard that before. - Said that before, but this time I mean it. 723 00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:52,035 I'm gonna come back, I'm gonna be clean, sober. No more weed, no more nothing. 724 00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:56,631 Mary Jane, you'll see. I'll be back. I'll be a changed man. 725 00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,399 There's a new Thurgood Jenkins today! 726 00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:03,108 I love you. 727 00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,833 Man, that first day of sobriety sucked. 728 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:10,749 I realised something. I was an irritable guy when I wasn't smoking marijuana. 729 00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:15,828 I couldn't stop thinking about getting high so I decided It was time to get help. 730 00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:20,908 - Hi, everyone, my name is Thurgood. - Hi, Thurgood. 731 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:23,558 Hi. 732 00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:27,912 I'm here today because I'm addicted... to marijuana. 733 00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:33,555 You in here because of marijuana? Marijuana?! 734 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,270 Man, this is some bullshit! 735 00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:40,154 Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. 736 00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:41,872 - I seen him! - Damn! 737 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,957 That's an addiction. Ever suck dick for marijuana? 738 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:46,956 Huh? 739 00:52:48,240 --> 00:52:51,835 - No, no, I can't say I have. - I didn't think so. 740 00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:54,678 - Boo this man! - Boo! 741 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:07,152 No! No! 742 00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,115 No! 743 00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:13,435 Devil man. 744 00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:17,029 Devil... 666. The mark of the beast! 745 00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:19,469 No! Naughty! 746 00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,555 Naughty jungle of love! 747 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:28,396 - The man is serious, B. - Calm down. How serious can he be? 748 00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,432 He wants to see Mr Nice Guy. He told me. 749 00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,152 Oh, man. 750 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,755 No, yo! 751 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,791 They killed Killer, B. 752 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:47,275 Yo, Samson did this, man. 753 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,271 Yo, he killed Killer, man. 754 00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,999 - Hey. - He killed... 755 00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:56,508 I'm gonna call Brian. 756 00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:00,439 Let's just give him a proper burial, all right? I'm sorry, man. 757 00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:03,638 Jesus Christ. 758 00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:09,118 - Watch it, man! You stepped on his head! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't even see him. 759 00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:45,476 I gotta smoke. I have got to smoke. 760 00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:51,555 - What happened, man? - You wanna know? I'll tell you. 761 00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,831 Samson and his girls came rolling up looking for me. 762 00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:58,077 They said they'd mess me up if I didn't bring them Mr Nice Guy. 763 00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:03,114 They probably roughed the Guy up, then started going to war with the apartment. 764 00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:08,871 They had nunchucks, bolos, they be doing Indian burns and Killer paid the price, yo. 765 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:13,994 He got the wrath. He got the wrath of the nunchucks, yo. 766 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:19,551 - I think it's more complex than that. - More complex than that? 767 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,319 You know what I think happened? 768 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:24,590 You want to hear what I think, man? 769 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:31,108 First of all, to understand what happened to Killer, 770 00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:35,119 you gotta understand who Killer the dog was. 771 00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,755 Now, Killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. 772 00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:41,439 He was always ashamed of this, man. 773 00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:46,156 And right after that, he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz. 774 00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:50,955 He's a small-time gunrunner and Rottweiler fight promoter. 775 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:56,711 So he puts Killer into training. They see Killer's good. He is damn good. 776 00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:00,548 But then he had the fight of his life. 777 00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,876 They pit him against his brother, Nibbles. 778 00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:09,392 Killer said, "No, that's my brother. I can't fight Nibbles!" He made 'em fight anyway. 779 00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:14,069 And then Killer, he killed Nibbles. 780 00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,793 And Killer said, "That's it." 781 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:22,233 He called off all his fights and he started doing crack and he freaked out. 782 00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:24,748 And then, in a rage... 783 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,711 he collapsed 784 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,557 and his heart... 785 00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:31,591 no longer beat. 786 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,870 Wow. 787 00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:39,433 You know, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, 788 00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:43,553 but you two smoke entirely too much reefer. 789 00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,797 What if the Guy did it? 790 00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:48,831 No way. You think? 791 00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:58,277 Yo, the Guy, did you kill my dog? 792 00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:06,072 I believe him, yo. I don't know why, but I do. 793 00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:12,638 Samson did this shit, yo. 794 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:20,876 - Mr Nice Guy, Party Accessories. - Did you get my message? 795 00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:24,913 - Who is this? - This is Samson, smarty-pants! 796 00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,679 Operator. It's your sister. 797 00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:32,111 - Samson, Mama fell... - Shut up, bitch! 798 00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:35,357 You tell Mr Nice Guy to get his Jamaican ass 799 00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:38,836 over to my place at three o'clock tomorrow! 800 00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:42,953 - Now, you don't want me to get ugly. - No, sir. 801 00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:45,468 - Shit. - All right. I'll tell him. 802 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,390 Oh, my God. We're in a lot of trouble. 803 00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:55,669 Scarface, perhaps you could help me. 804 00:57:56,680 --> 00:58:00,070 Why do you think Samson thinks Mr Nice Guy's a Jamaican? 805 00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:01,155 Oh... 806 00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:05,273 - I told him Mr Nice Guy was Jamaican, yo. - Why? 807 00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:08,676 I just thought he sounded Jamaican inside my head. 808 00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:14,112 We're in trouble, guys. We have a meeting with Samson tomorrow at three. 809 00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:19,314 - Where will we get a Jamaican from? - I'll pretend I'm Jamaican, man. 810 00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:21,792 Yeah! 811 00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,469 You have smoked yourself retarded. 812 00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,915 Well, well, well... 813 00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:34,958 if it isn't Mr Nice Guy. 814 00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,959 Welcome to my lair. 815 00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,870 Well, now, tell me a little bit about yourself. 816 00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:50,072 Well, I be from Jamaica, mon. Lord have mercy! 817 00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:52,270 What part of Jamaica? 818 00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,551 Right near the beach. Boy! 819 00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:58,749 I think you're bullshitting me. 820 00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:04,033 Samson Simpson, I stick by my story. I'm from Jamaica. 821 00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:06,548 If I wasn't Jamaican, 822 00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:09,433 then why would I wear this hat? 823 00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,634 Delilah... 824 00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:15,752 get me 814. 825 00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,396 814. 826 00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,275 What the fuck is 814? 827 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:27,592 Aaagh! 828 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:33,430 I'm sorry, y'all. I don't want to be the first nigger to die from a crossbow. 829 00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:39,077 I have been lying to you. I'm sorry. Samson, I'm sorry. OK? 830 00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:43,591 We just started this because our friend got locked up. You know how that is. 831 00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:48,111 - We had to get him outta jail. - Now, this is what's gonna happen. 832 00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:53,553 - You make about 40 to 50,000 a week. - Shit. I wish. 833 00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:55,830 Well, I want half! 834 00:59:55,880 --> 01:00:01,750 $20,000 a week or you're dead! Do you understand? 835 01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:06,036 20,000 seems fair. That seems fair, right, guys. 836 01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:08,559 Class dismissed. 837 01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:13,352 Man, we are in trouble, man. 838 01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:22,754 Jerry, I really need your help, man. Feel us! 839 01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:26,952 Brian, will you stop praying to a bag of sand, man! Come on! 840 01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:33,196 You heard the man. If we don't get this money, we're dead. All of us! 841 01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:39,589 Thurgood, get your boy, the Guy, to lend you some money, yo. 842 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:45,351 - You let him stay here long enough. - He's Brian's boy. I didn't let him stay here. 843 01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:48,198 I don't know him, man. 844 01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,871 - Hey, what day is it? - Saturday. 845 01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:58,957 - Is it January? - No, man, it's August. 846 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,788 Oh, wow. August. 847 01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,957 Hey, I couldn't help overhearing you guys. 848 01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:10,312 If you want to double your profits, you should go in there and rob that lab. 849 01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:15,354 Tomorrow's Sunday. There'll be no one in there. Just go in and rob the place blind. 850 01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,595 It'll work, I promise you. 851 01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:23,988 Hey, seeing as how we don't know who you are, 852 01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:26,349 are you planning on moving out soon? 853 01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:31,832 Thurgood, why don't you just focus on one thing at a time? I'll be fine. 854 01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,474 The robbery is what's important now. 855 01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:13,037 Phase One is complete, yo! 856 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:18,797 All we gotta do is go down this hatch to the second floor supply room, 857 01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,593 grab all the weed and we are outta here! 858 01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:25,436 - Sick, man! This is it? - Let's do it. 859 01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,471 Watch your step. 860 01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:39,592 - You didn't say nothing about no door. - Chill out, man. 861 01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:43,030 I smoke weed here all the time. This door's never locked. 862 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:46,834 But I didn't say the alarm would be off! 863 01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:48,552 Hurry, yo! 864 01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:50,830 You guys, wait up! 865 01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:57,109 Hold up! 866 01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:01,310 - Isn't that Thurgood, the custodian? - Yeah. 867 01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:05,512 - Want me to call the cops? - No, this is too much fun. 868 01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:07,714 Right up here! 869 01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:15,511 I hope there's some left. 870 01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:32,711 "Maui Wowie!" 871 01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,791 I never seen this much weed in my life! Let's go! 872 01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:13,315 Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head. 873 01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:16,918 Yo, I'm gonna make a run for it, B. 874 01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:19,599 Just get down, man. 875 01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,231 At least Brian got away, yo. 876 01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:27,832 My nads! 877 01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:33,079 Hey, thank God, man! 878 01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:37,910 Get down on your knees with your hands behind your head. 879 01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:39,678 Move in. 880 01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:48,556 Breaking and entering. You got me? Open and shut. I say we book 'em. 881 01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:53,390 - You got me? We book 'em. - Hey, wait a minute, guys. 882 01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:57,115 It's not open and shut. What do you guys do for a living? 883 01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:59,594 - I'm a detective. - We're detectives. 884 01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:02,950 Oh, OK, then detect. Ask us something. 885 01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,197 What do you know about this Jamaican, this Mr Nice Guy? 886 01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:10,435 Aw, shit, yo! 887 01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:15,031 Well, I heard he's got great weed, but that's neither here nor there. 888 01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:17,878 - I mean, we can't bring him down. - Crazy. 889 01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:23,631 But we can bring you Samson. Just ask me how. Ask me! 890 01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:29,555 - How will you bring Samson down? - Got a meeting with him in a few days. 891 01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:31,556 I'll wear a wire. Hm? 892 01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:35,832 All right, listen to me. There's $30,000 in this knapsack. 893 01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:38,075 Give him the 20 grand you owe him. 894 01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:42,671 With the remaining ten, buy whatever narcotics he's got around. Got me? 895 01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:47,111 - You paying attention? - No. Sorry, man. 896 01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:50,357 Unless you say out loud what you're buying, we got nothing. 897 01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:55,110 Make sure you that say it and that you get Samson to say it. No codes. No slang. 898 01:05:55,160 --> 01:06:00,154 As soon as you got the stuff, or if anything goes wrong, say the phrase "abracadabra". 899 01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:03,192 - Abracadabra. - Abracadabra? 900 01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,557 - OK, OK. - Make sure that you are relaxed. 901 01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:11,229 - Just act completely normal. - That's gonna be a problem. 902 01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:15,671 - What do you mean? - We haven't smoked any weed today, man. 903 01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:20,794 If the three of us go in there all clear-eyed, Samson is gonna know something's up. 904 01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:28,511 - If you think it's gonna help. - Yeah, I think that's gonna help. Got a light? 905 01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,231 Mmm. H-hmm. 906 01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:39,791 Thanks, Officer. 907 01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:49,152 I just wanna say, that was a great idea, Thurgood. 908 01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:54,228 - Wow! I mean, where do you even... - Just smoke it, yo! 909 01:06:56,000 --> 01:07:00,835 If something' happens to us, could you give this letter to Mary Jane Potman? 910 01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:07,317 - Sure thing, kid. - Tell our friend Kenny Davis we love him. 911 01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:09,954 - He's in prison. - Let's go, come on! 912 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,274 Let's move. 913 01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:16,878 Just remember to speak clearly. Get him to say what he's selling you. 914 01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:23,392 You know, it ain't always good to get high before you have important things to do, 915 01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:26,796 but lucky for us, the cops had our backs. 916 01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:30,673 - Hello, boys. - Hi, Samson. 917 01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:34,478 So... where's the money? 918 01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:36,670 Right here in my bag. 919 01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:40,793 - Samson, can I ask you a question? - Go ahead. 920 01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:45,509 Do you know where we can score some cocaine? 921 01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:49,109 - You want some candy? - Uh, no, thanks. 922 01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:53,597 But it'd be great if we can get some cocaine. 923 01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:59,513 - What's so funny? - Those guys... those guys are doomed! 924 01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:02,154 I can't feel my hands! 925 01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:04,191 I can feel 'em. 926 01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:06,549 Aggghhh! 927 01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:12,071 What we have here is some Columbian heaven. 928 01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:16,475 - Pure cocaine. - Candy makes you dandy. 929 01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:20,837 This is all the cocaine we get for ten G's, B? 930 01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:23,917 - We have other product. - Like more cocaine? 931 01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:28,269 And that is? 932 01:08:28,320 --> 01:08:32,313 Fine China. Babaloo. 933 01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:35,909 - Looks like heroin to me, yo. - Yeah. Is that heroin? 934 01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:39,396 You've got to be the dumbest dealers in the dope game. 935 01:08:40,160 --> 01:08:42,993 - You mean the game that you run, yo? - Yeah. 936 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:45,634 Just call me Jesse Owens. 937 01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:48,274 Jesse, can we get some cocaine and get outta here? 938 01:08:48,320 --> 01:08:52,233 - OK. - Can I buy some of your heroin, too? 939 01:08:52,280 --> 01:08:54,271 OK! 940 01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:59,950 All right, it's been a pleasure doing business with you. 941 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:04,039 Thank you very much for the heroin and the cocaine. Here's your money. 942 01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:08,317 Abracadabra. 943 01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:11,711 Yeah, man! 944 01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,068 Abracadabra! 945 01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,832 "You're all the Mary Jane I'll ever need." 946 01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:29,718 - Abracadabra, yo! - Abracadabra, man. 947 01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:33,639 - Abracadabra. - Boy, why do you keep saying that? 948 01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:36,114 What? Abracadabra? 949 01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:38,355 Yes, abracadabra. 950 01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:42,837 It's the latest thing, man. All the kids are saying it. Abracadabra, my nigger! 951 01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:44,871 - What's up? Abracadabra. - Abracadabra. 952 01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:47,275 Slim, take off your shirt. 953 01:09:48,440 --> 01:09:53,036 - Samson, Samson, I hardly know you. - Ladies. 954 01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:55,876 - Abracadabra, man! - Abracadabra, yo! 955 01:09:55,920 --> 01:10:00,311 - Abracadabra! Abra... - You're dead! 956 01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:05,918 - All of you! - Hey, fellas, let's beat these bitches! 957 01:10:32,840 --> 01:10:35,229 Let's work it out. 958 01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:42,915 Oh, your titty. 959 01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:51,475 - Now, that's a titty. - Fully, man. That is an official fully. 960 01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:53,272 Aaggh! 961 01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:02,799 - These are mean people. Mean, mean. - Look out! 962 01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:11,113 This is for Killer, B. 963 01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:15,557 Surprise, surprise, surprise! 964 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:17,352 Look who's walking. 965 01:11:18,760 --> 01:11:20,751 I thought you said you was crippled. 966 01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:24,918 Well, sweet pea, we're all crippled in some way. 967 01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:27,758 - Put it down! - You win. 968 01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:33,113 Now, this is the way it's gonna work. 969 01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:37,950 I'm gonna take your little Mexican friend with me and I'm gonna kill him. 970 01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:40,673 - I'm Cuban, B. - Yes, Cuban B. 971 01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:43,029 Is there anything you want to say... 972 01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:45,674 Jerry, we need you. 973 01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:47,438 Abracadabra, B! 974 01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:56,151 Oh, man! 975 01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:02,191 Wow! 976 01:12:03,840 --> 01:12:06,229 Sucks to be you, man! 977 01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:10,273 Oh, man! Oh, man! 978 01:12:10,320 --> 01:12:14,518 What did I... I told you he was real, man! 979 01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:18,473 Jerry, thank you, man. 980 01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:20,238 You're welcome, Brian. 981 01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:22,758 Peace. 982 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:32,598 - Well, abracadabra. - Whoa! 983 01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,598 - All right. - What the hell's going on here? 984 01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:39,792 - Our job is done. These guys can go home. - You guys are wasted, man. 985 01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:43,435 Thurgood, Thurgood. Nice letter. 986 01:12:43,480 --> 01:12:45,869 - Gimme that back. - Queer! 987 01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:53,676 - Everybody, freeze! - Oh, shit! 988 01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:55,312 Nobody move! 989 01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:02,112 The cops took the credit for busting Samson, but that's not important. 990 01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:07,359 What was important is that we cut a deal, and Kenny was finally free. Hallelujah! 991 01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:13,274 Which brings me to the Brooklyn Bridge, 992 01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:16,551 where I had to make things right with Mary Jane. 993 01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:21,471 - Hi. - Are you? 994 01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:27,071 A little bit from yesterday when Kenny got... But, Mary Jane, listen. 995 01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:30,874 I'm done. I'm done selling it. I'm done smoking it. 996 01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:35,835 This is the last of it right here. I just wanted you to see me get rid of it. 997 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:39,910 Could we just have a moment alone? 998 01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:45,158 Do what you gotta do. Be strong. 999 01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:46,997 Thanks, baby. 1000 01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:52,037 Mary Jane, 1001 01:13:52,080 --> 01:13:57,996 being with you these past 11 years has been wonderful, but I gotta move on. 1002 01:13:58,040 --> 01:14:02,158 Come on, smoke me. We'll have a quickie for old times' sake. 1003 01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:05,397 No. She's looking. 1004 01:14:05,440 --> 01:14:08,159 She's looking. All right, real quick. 1005 01:14:10,960 --> 01:14:16,353 No. No, it wouldn't be right! God damn you! 1006 01:14:19,160 --> 01:14:21,958 You'll be back! 1007 01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:26,037 - Everything work out OK? - Yeah. 1008 01:14:26,080 --> 01:14:29,834 - Mary Jane, I love you. - I love you, too. 1009 01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:39,871 I know. I know what you're thinking. That old Thurgood sold out, right? 1010 01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:43,629 - I'm your girl now. - But let me tell you something. I love weed. 1011 01:14:43,680 --> 01:14:45,796 OK? I love it. 1012 01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:50,469 But not as much as I love pussy! 1013 01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:52,511 The End. 1014 01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:22,997 I'm Dave Chappelle. 1015 01:18:23,040 --> 01:18:28,353 To learn more about marijuana or other illegal substances, go to your local library. 1016 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:32,712 - Remember, the more you read... - The smarter you are. 1017 01:18:35,240 --> 01:18:37,071 All right!