1 00:00:58,665 --> 00:00:59,655 Fuck ! 2 00:01:01,986 --> 00:01:02,975 Hi, Amy 3 00:01:03,986 --> 00:01:05,135 Hey Amy, got any crystal? 4 00:01:06,186 --> 00:01:07,222 Fuck off 5 00:01:07,586 --> 00:01:09,702 Shit, who pissed in your Fruit Loops? 6 00:01:10,187 --> 00:01:12,621 Peanut, why don't you go passionately fuck yourself? 7 00:01:24,029 --> 00:01:25,382 Yuk, you're all sweaty. 8 00:01:26,069 --> 00:01:27,388 Whatcha lookin' for? 9 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:29,702 My skull lighter. 10 00:01:29,869 --> 00:01:33,101 I swear, if it's missing, I'll slit my wrists. 11 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:37,023 Now that would be a great loss to the human race. 12 00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:39,744 Sit and spin. 13 00:01:47,912 --> 00:01:51,109 That guy has the intelligence of a stool sample. 14 00:01:52,192 --> 00:01:53,467 He's OK. 15 00:01:56,673 --> 00:01:58,665 I think he's got brain damage. 16 00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,826 But he's OK. 17 00:02:03,314 --> 00:02:07,194 This place is so fucking boring I wish someone would burn it to the ground. 18 00:02:09,275 --> 00:02:11,072 Let's just get the fuck out of here. 19 00:02:17,795 --> 00:02:18,990 Wanna go to Heaven? 20 00:02:32,437 --> 00:02:34,076 Go ahead and stick it inside. 21 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,349 Jordan, put your dick in me. 22 00:02:40,759 --> 00:02:41,953 I'm tryin'... 23 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,635 I'm sorry. 24 00:02:57,921 --> 00:02:59,070 I just... 25 00:02:59,242 --> 00:03:00,231 What? 26 00:03:12,323 --> 00:03:14,918 I'm afraid of catching AIDS. 27 00:03:16,324 --> 00:03:18,279 But we're both virgins. 28 00:03:32,486 --> 00:03:34,681 Where's the fuckin cigarettes? 29 00:03:47,607 --> 00:03:49,405 I dunno what it is, but... 30 00:03:49,888 --> 00:03:51,640 I feel really weird tonight 31 00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:55,440 Like something's gonna happen 32 00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:57,244 Me too. 33 00:04:02,850 --> 00:04:03,965 Do you love me? 34 00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:06,450 Yeah. Totally. 35 00:04:08,091 --> 00:04:09,126 Why? 36 00:04:10,491 --> 00:04:11,685 It's just... 37 00:04:12,531 --> 00:04:14,806 "I love you" can mean a lot of things, like 38 00:04:14,971 --> 00:04:17,804 "You'll do till someone better comes along" 39 00:04:18,972 --> 00:04:21,327 "I can't describe how I really feel ..." 40 00:04:21,532 --> 00:04:23,887 "But I know I'm supposed to say this" 41 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,761 or "Shut up", 42 00:04:28,013 --> 00:04:29,412 "I'm watchin' TV"... 43 00:04:30,053 --> 00:04:31,373 Are you stoned? 44 00:04:38,374 --> 00:04:41,492 I think sometimes this city is sucking away my soul. 45 00:04:42,214 --> 00:04:45,252 Like yesterday I was stuck in this humongous traffic jam 46 00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,213 on the 405 freeway 47 00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:52,375 and I just couldn't wait to get to the dead bodies lying there on the bloody asphalt. 48 00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:56,886 All I cared about was getting out and moving again... 49 00:04:57,617 --> 00:04:58,732 I know 50 00:04:59,737 --> 00:05:03,208 I feel like a gerbil smothering in Richard Gere's butthole. 51 00:05:14,699 --> 00:05:17,088 There just is no place for us in this world. 52 00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:24,539 Hey, get off my fucking car! 53 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:27,816 Wake up, cocksucker! 54 00:05:28,021 --> 00:05:29,010 It's time to die. 55 00:05:34,182 --> 00:05:35,535 Yo, bitch, would you just go?! 56 00:05:35,822 --> 00:05:38,257 Get your fucking hands off my car! 57 00:05:38,942 --> 00:05:40,058 Goddamn motherfucker 58 00:05:47,943 --> 00:05:49,980 I swear, if there is one dent in the door 59 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,776 one scratch in the paint... 60 00:05:51,944 --> 00:05:54,140 What the fuck're you talking about? 61 00:05:54,305 --> 00:05:54,941 This car is older 62 00:05:55,785 --> 00:05:59,494 than you and your jaibait boyfriend here 63 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,096 combined 64 00:06:01,306 --> 00:06:02,455 I love this car. 65 00:06:03,586 --> 00:06:05,975 Oh my god, you're bleeding all over the upholstery! 66 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,617 Jesus, don't potty in your panties about it. 67 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:10,982 Jordan, he is bleeding all over my upholstery! 68 00:06:11,147 --> 00:06:13,615 It's OK Amy, he's cleanin' it up. 69 00:06:14,747 --> 00:06:15,897 You alright, man? 70 00:06:17,188 --> 00:06:20,100 Yeah. I'm totally into getting the fuck beat out of me 71 00:06:20,268 --> 00:06:22,259 and slicin' up my own fuckin leg... 72 00:06:22,748 --> 00:06:24,307 You are really fuckin rude. Y'know that? 73 00:06:25,148 --> 00:06:26,740 Hey, that's my shirt. 74 00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:28,505 Oh... sorry 75 00:06:28,669 --> 00:06:29,658 It's cool. 76 00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:30,858 Go ahead 77 00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:32,067 Use it 78 00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:34,061 That is so gross. 79 00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:35,589 What's your name, anyway 80 00:06:43,311 --> 00:06:44,426 Xavier 81 00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:46,267 What? 82 00:06:48,672 --> 00:06:51,584 That's the stupidest fuckin name I've ever heard. 83 00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:54,023 Is it cool if I just call you "X"? 84 00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,943 I can't really pronounce all that... 85 00:06:57,913 --> 00:06:59,790 Only if I get to call you "Nutlicker" 86 00:07:00,033 --> 00:07:02,103 If bullshit were music, you'd be a big brass band 87 00:07:02,313 --> 00:07:05,545 What's with your lady here, Jordo? Terminal PMS? 88 00:07:05,754 --> 00:07:07,665 - Fuck you. - No. Fuck you 89 00:07:09,635 --> 00:07:11,147 Fuck you, you stinkin' kootch. 90 00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:13,989 Fuck you, you big wet bearded clam! 91 00:07:17,716 --> 00:07:19,672 Get out of my fucking car! 92 00:07:21,236 --> 00:07:23,387 C'mon, Amy. He didn't mean it. 93 00:07:24,036 --> 00:07:25,435 He's just jokin' around... 94 00:07:25,716 --> 00:07:26,627 Right X? 95 00:07:26,796 --> 00:07:27,673 Tell her... 96 00:07:27,837 --> 00:07:30,749 Yeah, Amy. Don't get your uterus all tied in a knot. 97 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,477 Listen, gism-breath. I want you out of my fucking car 98 00:07:33,678 --> 00:07:34,474 right this fucking second. 99 00:07:36,518 --> 00:07:38,395 I'm not kidding, Scumfuck. 100 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,196 Get. Lost. 101 00:07:47,159 --> 00:07:48,149 You're, uh... 102 00:07:48,839 --> 00:07:50,512 Giving me an erection. 103 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,954 You're repugnant. 104 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,714 Ok, Miss America. You win... 105 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,073 Beam me up, Scotty. 106 00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:08,718 Later, gator. 107 00:08:11,162 --> 00:08:12,437 Hey, what about my shirt? 108 00:08:21,284 --> 00:08:22,512 Thanks, X. 109 00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:24,756 My pleasure, Nutlicker. 110 00:08:25,084 --> 00:08:26,676 Will you marry me? 111 00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:30,842 Hey you don't have to decide immediately... 112 00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:33,634 Hey! You think about it 113 00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:35,075 Sleep on it, honey!... 114 00:08:35,446 --> 00:08:37,084 I swear, Amy 115 00:08:38,086 --> 00:08:39,804 You can be so harsh. 116 00:08:41,566 --> 00:08:42,794 I dunno, 117 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,795 he seemed cool. 118 00:08:45,847 --> 00:08:47,246 Kinda strange maybe... 119 00:08:47,447 --> 00:08:49,324 He was an anus-face. 120 00:08:50,848 --> 00:08:52,998 What were we talkin' about the other day, 121 00:08:53,448 --> 00:08:55,519 About trying to be less judgemental of people?... 122 00:08:55,729 --> 00:08:56,878 Fuck that. 123 00:09:00,089 --> 00:09:01,602 I'm starvin'. 124 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,604 Stop at the next QuickieMart, 'K? 125 00:09:16,171 --> 00:09:17,286 Sure y'don't want anything? 126 00:09:18,411 --> 00:09:19,924 I'm speeding, remember? 127 00:09:24,893 --> 00:09:25,928 Hey. No smoking here 128 00:09:36,454 --> 00:09:38,604 Hey, hey, girlie...you pick up. 129 00:09:39,494 --> 00:09:40,927 Eat my fuck. 130 00:09:44,415 --> 00:09:45,768 Pick up, girlie 131 00:09:50,736 --> 00:09:52,930 I'm so sure 132 00:10:00,177 --> 00:10:01,292 We happy? 133 00:10:16,219 --> 00:10:18,016 6 dollar, 66 cent 134 00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:22,608 That's weird. 135 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,498 Must've fallen out in the car... 136 00:10:27,141 --> 00:10:28,368 I'll pay you right back... 137 00:10:35,181 --> 00:10:36,092 oh fuck... 138 00:10:36,582 --> 00:10:37,537 ...The Scumfuck. 139 00:10:40,382 --> 00:10:42,533 You fuckin kook. We left our wallets in the car. 140 00:10:42,702 --> 00:10:43,851 Let me just run out and-- 141 00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:48,617 What're you gonna do, shoot us? 142 00:10:49,143 --> 00:10:51,339 I mean, what is this, some kind of joke - like "Candid Camera" or something? 143 00:11:00,305 --> 00:11:01,135 Scram. 144 00:11:01,545 --> 00:11:03,103 What the fuck d'you think you're doing? 145 00:11:03,785 --> 00:11:05,218 Saving your fucking life. 146 00:11:05,385 --> 00:11:06,944 Did I ask you for any big favors, huh? 147 00:11:07,506 --> 00:11:09,064 Would you please just get the fuck out of here? 148 00:11:09,546 --> 00:11:11,980 Jordan, he is getting us into Deep Shit. 149 00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:22,341 Would you just get the hell out of here? 150 00:11:24,468 --> 00:11:25,184 Come on! 151 00:12:09,274 --> 00:12:10,753 ...Would you just fuckin chill??! 152 00:12:12,074 --> 00:12:12,951 ...his head. His head, man. 153 00:12:14,114 --> 00:12:15,514 It was talkin'... 154 00:12:18,235 --> 00:12:19,793 I think, we're probably cool. 155 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:23,744 Imean, that weirdo gook lady with the machete probably doesn't even speak english... 156 00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,310 I think everything's gonna be fine. 157 00:12:25,476 --> 00:12:27,387 What the fuck d'you mean "everything's gonna be fine"? 158 00:12:27,556 --> 00:12:30,117 You just blew somebody's fucking head off! 159 00:12:32,557 --> 00:12:34,912 You know, you gotta be the little pessimist all the time, don't you? 160 00:12:35,077 --> 00:12:37,433 Little Miss Gloom and Doom. Well, fuck you. 161 00:12:37,718 --> 00:12:40,949 You were there, you were both there with me... 162 00:12:41,518 --> 00:12:43,077 and read my lips 163 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,031 we're in this together. 164 00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:47,953 I fry, we all fry... 165 00:12:48,119 --> 00:12:50,792 Blow it out your crusty rectum, loser. 166 00:12:50,959 --> 00:12:52,597 We don't know you, we barely just met you, 167 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,638 and we certainly don't like you. You're fucking crazy 168 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,473 ...and you're ugly besides. 169 00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:02,640 I love you too, darling. 170 00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:05,154 His fuckin head... 171 00:13:05,921 --> 00:13:07,991 it was in the relish 'n' onions 'n' 172 00:13:08,481 --> 00:13:10,234 it was talkin'... 173 00:13:14,283 --> 00:13:16,399 I mean, don't y'think you oughta call your mom or something? 174 00:13:18,003 --> 00:13:19,038 Tomorrow. 175 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:24,082 What? Mommy and Daddy'll be all worried about their baby girl? 176 00:13:24,924 --> 00:13:27,883 My mom used to be a heroin addict; now she's a Scientologist. 177 00:13:28,044 --> 00:13:29,397 My old man's dead. 178 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:32,880 Oh, sorry. 179 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:37,314 I'm not. He was a bloated, alkie pig who was always trying to molest me. 180 00:13:39,366 --> 00:13:40,435 What 'bout you? 181 00:13:42,726 --> 00:13:44,603 My folks live in Encino. 182 00:13:57,368 --> 00:13:59,245 My mom shot my dad 183 00:13:59,408 --> 00:14:01,604 then killed herself when I was twelve. 184 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,363 I'm taking a bath. 185 00:14:30,573 --> 00:14:32,404 I love this show, man. 186 00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:39,772 S'how Long've you 'n' 187 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:42,849 Princess Leia been a happy little couple? 188 00:14:43,975 --> 00:14:45,043 Fuck 189 00:14:46,255 --> 00:14:47,927 a long time 190 00:14:50,696 --> 00:14:51,923 Three months 191 00:14:53,296 --> 00:14:54,364 No way. 192 00:14:55,816 --> 00:14:58,888 Most of my relationships, they last about three days 193 00:15:00,937 --> 00:15:01,972 or... 194 00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:04,051 three hours. 195 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,653 Yeah, relationships bite. 196 00:15:13,778 --> 00:15:15,371 Wow. Righteous tattoo. 197 00:15:16,259 --> 00:15:17,134 I been wantin' one forever but 198 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:22,052 I can't decide on a design I like enough to, 199 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:24,535 y'know 200 00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:28,213 wear on my body for like the rest of my life. 201 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:31,419 It's a big commitment. 202 00:15:33,861 --> 00:15:35,739 I sure do like yours alot though... 203 00:15:41,022 --> 00:15:42,581 I gotta take a whiz. 204 00:15:56,144 --> 00:15:57,293 I must piss. 205 00:16:53,352 --> 00:16:56,549 Now some of this next footage may be too gruesome for some audience members 206 00:16:56,712 --> 00:16:58,703 so viewer discretion is advised... 207 00:16:59,513 --> 00:17:01,070 Police say that the severed head 208 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:04,669 of QuickieMart proprietor, Nguyen Kok-Suk, 209 00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:07,347 was still talking when it was discovered, 210 00:17:07,553 --> 00:17:11,183 at approximately 2:39 am, by a Jerseymaid deliveryman... 211 00:17:11,474 --> 00:17:15,433 ...And the San Fernando Valley Sheriffs Department is still investigating 212 00:17:15,594 --> 00:17:19,554 the bizarre, ritualistic slaying of his wife and children as well... 213 00:17:19,715 --> 00:17:21,778 It appears that the shopkeeper's wife, 214 00:17:21,795 --> 00:17:24,151 was so distraught over the slaying of her husband 215 00:17:24,355 --> 00:17:26,950 that she took the lives of her children, disemboweling them... 216 00:17:27,156 --> 00:17:28,669 Wait just a second there... 217 00:17:29,076 --> 00:17:30,191 disemboweling them? 218 00:17:30,356 --> 00:17:32,871 Yes, Chet, dis-em-boweling them 219 00:17:33,037 --> 00:17:37,270 before taking the knife to herself in some kind of unusual suicide rite. 220 00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:41,667 The police so far have only one clue to the identity 221 00:17:41,878 --> 00:17:43,995 of Mr. Suk's murderer or murderers... 222 00:17:44,238 --> 00:17:46,150 This skull earring 223 00:17:46,558 --> 00:17:50,553 the type sold most frequently in rock'n'roll paraphernalia shops 224 00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:53,870 often worn by homosexuals, satanists, 225 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,430 and members of other dangerous cult groups... 226 00:17:56,639 --> 00:17:59,553 Hold it, Sandy.Correct me if I'm wrong, 227 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,360 but don't lots of people, especially trendy teenagers 228 00:18:02,841 --> 00:18:05,833 following the latest "fad", kids who are otherwise perfectly "normal", 229 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:09,830 don't they wear earrings similar to the one shown here? 230 00:18:10,242 --> 00:18:11,595 Yes, well, Chet, 231 00:18:12,002 --> 00:18:13,355 that is a problem... 232 00:19:23,051 --> 00:19:24,804 Smooth move, ex-lax. 233 00:19:25,412 --> 00:19:26,685 Pinch the bridge of your nose. 234 00:19:28,493 --> 00:19:29,642 Pinch it there... 235 00:19:32,013 --> 00:19:33,207 I'm so fuckin hungry 236 00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:34,368 I can eat my leg. 237 00:19:34,532 --> 00:19:36,330 How 'bout a little foodular action? 238 00:19:38,973 --> 00:19:40,851 Welcome to Carnoburger 239 00:19:41,334 --> 00:19:42,767 May I have your orders please? 240 00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:45,130 Gimme the Slop-O-Rama Bellybuster 241 00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:46,650 no onions 242 00:19:46,815 --> 00:19:48,851 A Passion Fruit Slurpster 243 00:19:49,575 --> 00:19:51,930 and aside Curly Q fries 244 00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:55,125 I have some Barbecue Beef Chunks 245 00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:57,732 Some Fried Cheeseballs 246 00:19:58,376 --> 00:19:59,651 And an Evian 247 00:20:01,296 --> 00:20:03,447 Diet coke. Extra large. 248 00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:06,173 She never eats when she does crystal 249 00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:07,134 Shut up 250 00:20:07,377 --> 00:20:08,332 That's be all? 251 00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:13,255 I've lost my earring 252 00:20:14,178 --> 00:20:16,613 That'd be...6 $ 66. Please pull forward to the window 253 00:20:17,418 --> 00:20:22,413 Jordan, I'm sure. We're like in this total predicament and you're worried about losing a fucking earring? 254 00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,010 It's got sentimental value 255 00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:28,891 My mom gave it to me when I finally passed algebra/trig 256 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:34,696 You can relax your royal sphincter muscle, your highness. 257 00:20:34,861 --> 00:20:37,534 The crazy machette lady offed herself and her kids 258 00:20:37,701 --> 00:20:39,419 so there are no witnesses left. 259 00:20:39,581 --> 00:20:40,377 What? 260 00:20:40,541 --> 00:20:42,976 They're all dead. It was on the news. 261 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:46,300 You're so full of sheep excrement it's not even funny 262 00:20:46,822 --> 00:20:50,179 I saw it on TV, so it's gotta be true, right? 263 00:20:51,703 --> 00:20:52,898 Yeah 264 00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:55,859 what if dead guy's head is still talking? 265 00:20:56,784 --> 00:20:58,695 and he tell the cops everything? 266 00:21:03,104 --> 00:21:04,379 Grossify me 267 00:21:05,385 --> 00:21:06,977 Six sixty-six 268 00:21:09,506 --> 00:21:10,416 Sunshine ? 269 00:21:10,706 --> 00:21:11,821 Gimme some money 270 00:21:12,026 --> 00:21:13,459 Sunshine, is that you? 271 00:21:13,786 --> 00:21:15,981 I think you must've me mixed up with someone else 272 00:21:16,386 --> 00:21:18,582 Gonad-face, give me some money 273 00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:20,101 Don't lie to me now 274 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:23,375 I know it's you 275 00:21:23,628 --> 00:21:26,858 Look, you fucking chunky pumpkinhead! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! 276 00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:29,580 Would you just give me some fucking money? 277 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,346 You said you loved me... 278 00:21:32,428 --> 00:21:34,420 You said, you'd never leave me... 279 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:37,229 It this Night of the Living Brain-dead? 280 00:21:37,669 --> 00:21:40,662 Wake up and smell the cappucino, geek 281 00:21:40,830 --> 00:21:43,219 I don't know you, I've never fucking seen you before, 282 00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:45,665 I don't know who the fuck this 'Sunshine' is! 283 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,628 You little whore 284 00:21:48,871 --> 00:21:50,588 You broke my fucking heart! 285 00:21:50,831 --> 00:21:52,389 Come on, Sunshine 286 00:21:52,791 --> 00:21:54,588 give the poor guy a break 287 00:21:54,751 --> 00:21:56,390 Shut the fuck up 288 00:21:56,552 --> 00:21:59,271 and give me some motherfucking money! 289 00:22:01,312 --> 00:22:02,665 Ain't it nice? 290 00:22:03,553 --> 00:22:06,386 I figure, if I can't have you, no one will 291 00:22:14,154 --> 00:22:16,509 Hey Bartholomew, what's going on? 292 00:22:21,115 --> 00:22:22,514 The bitch 293 00:22:24,315 --> 00:22:25,829 I will find her 294 00:22:27,076 --> 00:22:28,031 and I will kill her 295 00:22:28,596 --> 00:22:31,906 Is it fucking full moon or what? What the fuck is going on? 296 00:22:32,356 --> 00:22:35,349 You shouldn't have broken his little old achey heart like that, Sunshine 297 00:22:35,516 --> 00:22:38,793 Cram it, ass-crack We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you 298 00:22:39,397 --> 00:22:41,627 Mellowize thyself, fishwich 299 00:22:42,798 --> 00:22:45,551 Ever considered cuttin' down on your crystal intake a bit? 300 00:22:45,718 --> 00:22:46,753 Cripes 301 00:22:47,838 --> 00:22:48,748 I have had it with you! 302 00:22:50,239 --> 00:22:51,467 Don't worry, Amy 303 00:22:51,919 --> 00:22:53,956 We're here, we're safe, 304 00:22:54,159 --> 00:22:55,512 everything is cool 305 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,679 Jordan, I just wanna go home and forget this whole entire nightmare 306 00:23:01,921 --> 00:23:04,070 It's alright, Amy, really 307 00:23:04,881 --> 00:23:07,679 In the morning, we'll figure it all out 308 00:23:11,561 --> 00:23:12,711 Yeah, sure 309 00:23:17,722 --> 00:23:19,201 I'm gonna get ready for bed 310 00:23:22,043 --> 00:23:25,240 brush your teeth before you turn in, otherwise you'll have cheese-breath 311 00:23:34,165 --> 00:23:36,679 I get the feeling Amy doesn't like me very much 312 00:23:37,926 --> 00:23:39,643 Don't take it personal, X 313 00:23:40,565 --> 00:23:41,885 She's just a little... 314 00:23:43,366 --> 00:23:45,357 aloof, till you get to know her 315 00:25:02,496 --> 00:25:04,805 I've never seen a tattoo there before 316 00:25:09,577 --> 00:25:10,647 Touch it 317 00:25:12,778 --> 00:25:13,732 Go ahead 318 00:25:14,818 --> 00:25:15,933 Indulge 319 00:25:26,219 --> 00:25:27,699 What's it a picture of? 320 00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:31,894 Can't you tell? 321 00:25:34,261 --> 00:25:35,455 It's Jesus 322 00:25:38,941 --> 00:25:41,854 Why the hell d'you have Jesus tattooed on your dick? 323 00:25:44,981 --> 00:25:46,779 So people, when I'm boning 'em, 324 00:25:47,382 --> 00:25:48,736 can say 325 00:25:48,903 --> 00:25:50,256 "I've got Jesus 326 00:25:50,823 --> 00:25:52,176 inside me" 327 00:26:02,544 --> 00:26:05,343 I'm gonna vacuum your tongue right out of your face 328 00:26:19,066 --> 00:26:20,021 Wait 329 00:26:26,187 --> 00:26:27,177 I'm gonna come 330 00:26:27,347 --> 00:26:28,303 Already? 331 00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:31,297 Don't worry, I'm good for about six times a night 332 00:26:34,109 --> 00:26:35,303 Four at least 333 00:26:35,709 --> 00:26:37,540 How 'bout you? You anywhere close? 334 00:26:39,669 --> 00:26:40,739 Sort of 335 00:26:43,349 --> 00:26:45,306 I can't hold it much longer 336 00:27:26,276 --> 00:27:27,470 Where is she? 337 00:27:28,436 --> 00:27:30,346 Where is my little dandelion flower? 338 00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:33,915 Tell me where she is or 339 00:27:34,116 --> 00:27:37,792 you'll gonna have a mangled stump in place of that fairy face o' yours 340 00:27:41,998 --> 00:27:43,350 Tell me where she is, 341 00:27:43,518 --> 00:27:46,116 you fucking slimy piece of queerbait! 342 00:27:46,238 --> 00:27:47,910 I'm right here, lovebucket 343 00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:54,433 My pearly-doo drops rose 344 00:27:55,319 --> 00:27:57,628 I missed you so much, my darling 345 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,674 You know I could never live without you, my bumpkins 346 00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,396 I've been dreaming of this moment for months 347 00:28:16,562 --> 00:28:17,517 Come on! 348 00:28:18,002 --> 00:28:19,071 My pants 349 00:28:23,043 --> 00:28:24,999 My babycakes! My cuddlemuffin! 350 00:28:25,163 --> 00:28:26,995 Please, please, don't leave me again! 351 00:28:27,963 --> 00:28:30,079 Get a fuckin life, dogbreath 352 00:28:32,884 --> 00:28:33,954 Come back! 353 00:28:34,244 --> 00:28:35,518 Babycake! 354 00:28:46,966 --> 00:28:50,276 Ever feel like reality is more twisted than dreams? 355 00:28:54,046 --> 00:28:55,036 Not again 356 00:29:00,288 --> 00:29:01,482 My fucking arm! 357 00:29:02,648 --> 00:29:03,967 I want it back 358 00:29:05,128 --> 00:29:06,164 Son of a bitch 359 00:29:06,569 --> 00:29:07,604 Jam on it, girlfriend! 360 00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:10,678 Get that fucking thing out of my car! 361 00:29:11,049 --> 00:29:12,846 I'm trying! What d'you think-- 362 00:29:18,290 --> 00:29:19,769 God fucking damnit, Amy! 363 00:29:23,291 --> 00:29:25,725 Would you kindly tromp on the fucking gas pedal?! 364 00:29:34,892 --> 00:29:36,451 Sunshine 365 00:29:37,052 --> 00:29:39,567 You are my one true love 366 00:29:46,814 --> 00:29:50,409 What is with you? Do you have to kill someone every fuckin time we stop the car?! 367 00:29:50,815 --> 00:29:54,933 Well, pardon me for rescuing your ingrate ass twice in the same night, 368 00:29:55,735 --> 00:29:57,965 you fuckin furry tuna taco 369 00:29:58,135 --> 00:29:59,694 You don't care about anything, do you? 370 00:29:59,856 --> 00:30:02,290 You have no guilt, no remorse? 371 00:30:02,536 --> 00:30:05,846 You murdered two people tonight Doesn't that faze you at all? 372 00:30:06,216 --> 00:30:08,412 Yeah, I'm bummed 373 00:30:09,457 --> 00:30:10,572 To the max 374 00:30:12,177 --> 00:30:13,849 But it's not like I've never done it before 375 00:30:14,017 --> 00:30:14,654 Excuse me? 376 00:30:16,978 --> 00:30:18,172 How many people've you..? 377 00:30:19,179 --> 00:30:20,213 Just a few 378 00:30:21,018 --> 00:30:22,451 and all of 'em deserved it 379 00:30:23,058 --> 00:30:24,537 or wore a uniform 380 00:30:26,179 --> 00:30:27,453 Like my first, 381 00:30:28,139 --> 00:30:30,369 this ugly sow of a parking cop 382 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:34,613 Y'know how they're so full of themselves, they got their fuckin badge, they think they're all bad 383 00:30:35,220 --> 00:30:37,017 Well, this one lardass cunt tickets me 384 00:30:37,221 --> 00:30:38,700 for bein' in a red zone 385 00:30:38,901 --> 00:30:40,539 for like ten seconds 386 00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:45,173 So I'm there in the street arguin' with her 'n' she's just smiling away, writin' me up 387 00:30:45,381 --> 00:30:46,974 I grabbed the bitch by her kinky 'fro 388 00:30:47,142 --> 00:30:50,339 and started poundin' her head into the hood of her nice white 389 00:30:50,542 --> 00:30:51,657 Parking Pig-mobile 390 00:30:51,822 --> 00:30:52,653 and then, 391 00:30:52,863 --> 00:30:57,015 I slammed the door on her skull a buncha times until she was dead 392 00:30:57,183 --> 00:30:58,299 La mort 393 00:30:58,464 --> 00:30:59,453 History 394 00:30:59,664 --> 00:31:01,541 God, would take a reality pill 395 00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:03,383 Hey, I still got the scar 396 00:31:06,904 --> 00:31:09,419 Teethmarks from where the bitch bit me 397 00:31:12,145 --> 00:31:13,373 I tell you, 398 00:31:13,666 --> 00:31:17,102 those cops are like goddamned savage animals 399 00:31:48,350 --> 00:31:49,499 ...and some nachos 400 00:32:01,672 --> 00:32:04,232 That'd be six sixty six 401 00:32:08,192 --> 00:32:11,026 All hail the Coffee and Cigarette God 402 00:32:12,674 --> 00:32:13,901 Where's my change? 403 00:32:14,073 --> 00:32:15,302 Drop dead, dunghead 404 00:32:16,754 --> 00:32:18,073 No Zagnut bars? 405 00:32:18,433 --> 00:32:20,792 Life is a chewy shit sandwich 406 00:32:23,595 --> 00:32:24,709 What now? 407 00:32:25,154 --> 00:32:26,873 Go fetch me some Zagnut bars, wench 408 00:32:27,035 --> 00:32:28,309 Fuck you 409 00:32:28,595 --> 00:32:29,789 You already have 410 00:32:31,156 --> 00:32:32,065 Fucked me 411 00:32:33,516 --> 00:32:34,346 You are such 412 00:32:34,596 --> 00:32:35,711 the prick 413 00:32:36,836 --> 00:32:38,667 Yeah, well, that's not exactly how you phrased it last night 414 00:32:38,836 --> 00:32:41,866 You think you're funny? You're not. You're pathetic 415 00:32:46,278 --> 00:32:47,265 Sniff my finger 416 00:32:48,878 --> 00:32:53,762 Sniff my finger 'n' tell me it doesn't smell like your girlfriend's sweet juicy snatch 417 00:32:53,839 --> 00:32:54,874 I'm gonna strangle you! 418 00:32:55,118 --> 00:32:55,914 I hate you! 419 00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:19,316 He's a liar 420 00:33:19,562 --> 00:33:20,678 Y'know that, don't you? 421 00:33:21,442 --> 00:33:22,591 It doesn't matter 422 00:33:22,922 --> 00:33:25,641 Even if I did get together with him, and this isn't saying I did or anything, 423 00:33:26,083 --> 00:33:27,562 but if I did, 424 00:33:28,363 --> 00:33:30,957 y'know that it wouldn't actually mean anything, I mean 425 00:33:31,683 --> 00:33:33,481 y'know that I really only love you, 426 00:33:34,204 --> 00:33:34,875 right? 427 00:33:37,405 --> 00:33:38,599 Whatever, Amy 428 00:33:48,046 --> 00:33:50,037 I wish that we could ditch him someplace, Jordan 429 00:33:50,446 --> 00:33:52,835 Just get rid of him and forget he ever existed 430 00:33:55,246 --> 00:33:56,839 He's not so bad 431 00:33:57,007 --> 00:33:58,201 I mean, 432 00:33:58,647 --> 00:34:00,205 he's sorta like us 433 00:34:01,368 --> 00:34:02,596 Lost, 434 00:34:03,608 --> 00:34:05,326 like he doesn't fit in 435 00:34:07,168 --> 00:34:08,521 He scares me, Jordan 436 00:34:09,849 --> 00:34:11,328 Like I don't know what it is, 437 00:34:12,569 --> 00:34:14,799 there's something evil about him 438 00:34:17,370 --> 00:34:18,928 Don't be a cornnut 439 00:34:19,850 --> 00:34:20,839 C'mon 440 00:34:21,410 --> 00:34:22,763 finish your breakfast 441 00:34:23,531 --> 00:34:25,441 Then let's get me some clothes 442 00:34:25,811 --> 00:34:28,565 I feel like a fuckin frat boy in this toga 443 00:34:46,814 --> 00:34:47,882 Be right back 444 00:34:55,855 --> 00:34:58,574 What's with you? You act like somebody ate your pet hamster 445 00:34:59,775 --> 00:35:00,845 Well, duh 446 00:35:01,176 --> 00:35:04,054 I am so pissed at you I could rip your testicles off 447 00:35:04,296 --> 00:35:05,968 and staple them to your ankles 448 00:35:06,256 --> 00:35:09,090 What the fuck did you have to go and tell Jordan for? 449 00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,011 Tell him what? 450 00:35:11,777 --> 00:35:13,529 What d'you think, doorknob? That we got together 451 00:35:14,777 --> 00:35:16,052 Well, didn't you utterly dig it? 452 00:35:16,498 --> 00:35:17,817 That is not the point 453 00:35:18,498 --> 00:35:20,454 What is the point then? Get it: 454 00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:23,530 Guilt is for married, old people 455 00:35:25,019 --> 00:35:27,772 You are incredible. You aren't even human, are you? 456 00:35:29,059 --> 00:35:31,527 You're like a life support system for a cock 457 00:35:33,180 --> 00:35:34,818 This is so fuckin cher 458 00:35:34,980 --> 00:35:36,015 Look'it this thing 459 00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:37,573 I mean, check it out 460 00:35:37,741 --> 00:35:38,855 Let me see 461 00:35:46,021 --> 00:35:46,977 Can I? 462 00:35:48,061 --> 00:35:49,415 Be my guest 463 00:36:04,944 --> 00:36:07,584 Jesus, it's a fuckin belt Don't tard out over it 464 00:36:10,145 --> 00:36:11,897 Mon, dad 465 00:36:12,425 --> 00:36:13,414 It's me 466 00:36:16,985 --> 00:36:20,023 I'm uh, sorta takin' a little vacation with Amy right now and uh 467 00:36:23,946 --> 00:36:26,302 Fuckin machine hung up on me 468 00:36:34,108 --> 00:36:35,143 I'm thirsty 469 00:37:03,272 --> 00:37:04,421 What d'you pick? 470 00:37:06,392 --> 00:37:07,347 Shit! 471 00:37:10,833 --> 00:37:13,188 Jordan, would you listen to me for a second and forget about that dweeby game? 472 00:37:20,634 --> 00:37:22,465 Sheesh, Amy, what's the national emergency? 473 00:37:23,874 --> 00:37:26,628 Jordan, would you kindly pull your head out of your rectal region? 474 00:37:29,675 --> 00:37:31,950 We're accessories to two homicides 475 00:37:32,996 --> 00:37:34,987 Doesn't that concern you in the fuckin least? 476 00:37:38,876 --> 00:37:40,150 Kitten, is that you? 477 00:37:44,677 --> 00:37:46,157 Don't you recognize me? 478 00:37:47,118 --> 00:37:48,186 It's me 479 00:37:49,398 --> 00:37:50,592 Brandi 480 00:37:50,758 --> 00:37:53,272 Your eternal loveslave 481 00:37:53,478 --> 00:37:54,672 Your slave 482 00:37:54,879 --> 00:37:55,993 Look, lady, I don't know who you are 483 00:37:56,159 --> 00:37:59,037 Has this guy shot you full of dope and brainwashed 484 00:37:59,199 --> 00:38:00,678 you like the others? You're high, aren't you? 485 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,073 - It's me, honeycakes! - Let me go! 486 00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,476 I know it's you, I can smell your perfume 487 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,593 Get your fucking clammy hands off me, you crazy bitch!!! 488 00:38:15,241 --> 00:38:16,594 He's kidnapped you, right? 489 00:38:16,761 --> 00:38:19,401 And he told you he'd kill you if you act like you knew me 490 00:38:19,642 --> 00:38:20,757 Well, don't fret, darlin' 491 00:38:21,322 --> 00:38:22,391 Brandi's here 492 00:38:22,562 --> 00:38:23,677 I'll save you from this heathen 493 00:38:28,082 --> 00:38:29,880 I'm gonna lop 494 00:38:30,203 --> 00:38:32,354 his dick off 495 00:38:32,883 --> 00:38:34,203 like a chicken head 496 00:38:36,283 --> 00:38:38,354 I can't leave you guys alone for a minute, can I? 497 00:39:01,967 --> 00:39:03,720 Oh God, Bruce I'm sorry 498 00:39:07,848 --> 00:39:10,408 But that was her, it was Kitten 499 00:39:11,049 --> 00:39:12,800 I know it, I know it was her 500 00:39:20,130 --> 00:39:21,164 The bitch 501 00:39:25,370 --> 00:39:26,928 I'm gonna find her 502 00:39:28,850 --> 00:39:30,364 And I'm gonna kill 503 00:39:32,051 --> 00:39:33,882 This is so nice 504 00:39:34,452 --> 00:39:37,762 Lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer 505 00:39:39,332 --> 00:39:41,483 I hope we die simultaneously, 506 00:39:42,812 --> 00:39:45,168 like in a fiery car wreck 507 00:39:45,853 --> 00:39:48,845 or nuclear bomb-blast or something 508 00:39:51,894 --> 00:39:53,486 You are so romantic 509 00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:57,447 No, for reals 510 00:39:59,015 --> 00:40:01,210 I don't ever wanna have to miss you 511 00:40:04,095 --> 00:40:05,245 Ditto 512 00:40:06,016 --> 00:40:09,805 Row, row, row 513 00:40:10,136 --> 00:40:11,251 your boat 514 00:40:11,856 --> 00:40:16,214 gently down the stream 515 00:40:21,658 --> 00:40:25,334 Merrily, merrily, merrily 516 00:40:29,899 --> 00:40:32,972 Life is but a dream 517 00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:45,770 Take it out 518 00:40:53,902 --> 00:40:54,937 Stroke it 519 00:40:59,023 --> 00:41:00,058 Squeeze it 520 00:41:03,343 --> 00:41:04,378 Harder 521 00:41:08,504 --> 00:41:09,539 Look at it 522 00:41:16,105 --> 00:41:17,140 Put it in 523 00:41:22,786 --> 00:41:24,219 when I say OK 524 00:41:52,469 --> 00:41:56,349 Don't you think sex is totally strange? 525 00:41:57,430 --> 00:41:59,103 Just the whole idea of it, 526 00:42:00,591 --> 00:42:02,947 this tube of flesh gets stiff 527 00:42:03,912 --> 00:42:05,664 and inserted in these 528 00:42:06,431 --> 00:42:08,423 warm, squishy places 529 00:42:10,992 --> 00:42:14,588 I think maybe it's more powerful than we'd like it to be 530 00:42:17,753 --> 00:42:19,745 It's fuckin trippy, 531 00:42:21,073 --> 00:42:22,553 that's for sure 532 00:42:24,914 --> 00:42:27,348 It's kinda like eating spaghetti 533 00:42:31,035 --> 00:42:32,104 Why? 534 00:42:39,556 --> 00:42:41,274 You are so great 535 00:42:47,637 --> 00:42:49,036 Hey, that reminds me 536 00:42:50,478 --> 00:42:51,957 I'm hongry 537 00:42:52,118 --> 00:42:53,836 You're always "hongry" 538 00:42:55,638 --> 00:42:57,469 That's cuz I'm a growin' boy 539 00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:05,152 I'm gonna walk to the AM/PM and get some Shrimp Nuggets or something 540 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,435 Want anything? 541 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:09,794 More cigarettes 542 00:43:10,881 --> 00:43:11,995 Yes, dear 543 00:43:32,123 --> 00:43:33,557 I love you, fucker 544 00:43:35,323 --> 00:43:36,837 Me too, fucker 545 00:44:12,329 --> 00:44:13,363 Pig 546 00:44:14,848 --> 00:44:16,042 Whatchawatchin'? 547 00:44:25,690 --> 00:44:26,679 Come here 548 00:44:32,771 --> 00:44:34,045 I wanna play a game 549 00:44:36,172 --> 00:44:37,491 I'm gonna start counting 550 00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:40,970 If you crack a smile before I get to eight, 551 00:44:41,253 --> 00:44:42,686 I get to strangle you 552 00:44:43,052 --> 00:44:44,122 If you don't, 553 00:44:46,052 --> 00:44:48,442 I have to do anything you say 554 00:45:16,897 --> 00:45:18,091 seven-and-a-half 555 00:45:19,897 --> 00:45:21,013 You win 556 00:45:25,338 --> 00:45:26,293 Go ahead 557 00:45:55,742 --> 00:45:56,778 I'll take 558 00:45:57,542 --> 00:45:58,259 these too 559 00:46:02,582 --> 00:46:04,415 Six sixty-six 560 00:46:16,105 --> 00:46:17,584 What's Jordan's like? 561 00:46:18,105 --> 00:46:19,094 What? 562 00:46:19,305 --> 00:46:21,820 Y'know, his engorged member 563 00:46:22,465 --> 00:46:24,104 His tumescent love missle 564 00:46:24,266 --> 00:46:27,338 His throbbing purple meat scepter 565 00:46:29,306 --> 00:46:30,626 Why d'you wanna know? 566 00:46:31,346 --> 00:46:32,416 I don't know 567 00:46:33,347 --> 00:46:34,666 I'm curious 568 00:46:36,788 --> 00:46:38,062 It's alright, 569 00:46:38,747 --> 00:46:39,782 it's fine 570 00:46:42,228 --> 00:46:44,868 What d'you mean 'fine'? 571 00:46:46,189 --> 00:46:48,339 Is it the size of vienna sausage 572 00:46:48,669 --> 00:46:50,307 or like a baby's arm? 573 00:46:50,989 --> 00:46:53,550 Is it cut, is it uncut? 574 00:46:54,030 --> 00:46:57,147 Does it lean to the left? Does it lean to the right? 575 00:46:57,390 --> 00:46:59,426 Does it go in a southeasterly direction? 576 00:47:01,631 --> 00:47:03,826 Is it curved, is it straight, 577 00:47:05,591 --> 00:47:07,901 Is it shaped like a fuckin corkscrew, or what? 578 00:47:09,271 --> 00:47:11,308 What difference does it make to you? 579 00:47:11,952 --> 00:47:13,749 Does he plunge it into you long 580 00:47:14,792 --> 00:47:15,908 slow 581 00:47:16,512 --> 00:47:17,661 and deep 582 00:47:18,152 --> 00:47:19,268 like this? 583 00:47:19,633 --> 00:47:22,227 Or quick and short and shallow 584 00:47:22,514 --> 00:47:23,788 like a jackrabbit? 585 00:47:26,354 --> 00:47:28,186 Does he make noises like this? 586 00:47:34,395 --> 00:47:35,544 Or does he make it like... 587 00:47:39,756 --> 00:47:41,712 Or, no, he's a whimperer 588 00:47:46,557 --> 00:47:49,993 Would you kindly stop babbling and fuck me already? 589 00:49:46,093 --> 00:49:47,207 Where you been? 590 00:49:49,333 --> 00:49:50,322 Nowhere 591 00:49:55,494 --> 00:49:57,325 I was worried about you, dufus 592 00:49:58,614 --> 00:49:59,604 Sorry 593 00:50:01,455 --> 00:50:02,490 Come over here 594 00:50:15,216 --> 00:50:17,128 Y'know just because he and I 595 00:50:19,457 --> 00:50:22,972 It doesn't mean that I'm really like all that 596 00:50:24,538 --> 00:50:25,811 whatever 597 00:50:27,618 --> 00:50:28,653 I know 598 00:51:05,823 --> 00:51:06,972 This the currency 599 00:51:07,183 --> 00:51:10,175 we've linked to the December 17th QuickieMart robbery/homicide 600 00:51:10,384 --> 00:51:11,214 in Tarzana 601 00:51:11,544 --> 00:51:12,215 The suspects 602 00:51:12,784 --> 00:51:15,139 a paramilitary brigade of three youths 603 00:51:16,104 --> 00:51:19,381 appear to be on a freewheeling crime spree heading north 604 00:51:19,545 --> 00:51:20,773 We've run a fingerprint check 605 00:51:20,985 --> 00:51:22,782 through the Mother Computer in DC 606 00:51:23,225 --> 00:51:25,216 and thusfar have ID'd one of the suspects 607 00:51:25,986 --> 00:51:27,304 Amy Blue 608 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:28,905 Age 18 609 00:51:29,546 --> 00:51:31,856 Height: five-one Weight: ninetytwo pounds 610 00:51:32,026 --> 00:51:33,824 Eyes: Hazel Hair: Brown 611 00:51:34,667 --> 00:51:36,862 Cumulative SAT score: 612 00:51:37,387 --> 00:51:38,866 666 613 00:51:43,908 --> 00:51:46,502 Should be considered armed and dangerous 614 00:51:50,149 --> 00:51:50,899 Gentlemen, 615 00:51:51,549 --> 00:51:53,187 I want you to find her 616 00:51:53,629 --> 00:51:55,108 And if necessary 617 00:51:55,710 --> 00:51:56,460 Kill her 618 00:52:03,551 --> 00:52:04,619 G'morning 619 00:52:08,912 --> 00:52:12,348 Don't kiss me My breath is like totally skanky 620 00:52:15,192 --> 00:52:16,989 Wait till I brush my teeth 621 00:52:22,833 --> 00:52:23,948 Know what? 622 00:52:26,354 --> 00:52:27,309 What ? 623 00:52:28,274 --> 00:52:30,708 This is the first time we've ever slept together 624 00:52:31,314 --> 00:52:33,032 and woken up together 625 00:52:34,155 --> 00:52:35,668 In a real bed, I mean 626 00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,909 You are the bright red cherry on top of my sundae 627 00:52:45,516 --> 00:52:46,665 Goofball 628 00:52:50,757 --> 00:52:52,429 Rise and shine, monkeybutt 629 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,912 The itsy bitsy spider 630 00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,389 went up the waterspout 631 00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,151 Down came the rain 632 00:53:17,601 --> 00:53:19,000 Washed the spider out 633 00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,198 I have died and gone to hell for my sins 634 00:53:27,322 --> 00:53:29,438 It's the Dawning of A Brand New Day 635 00:53:31,562 --> 00:53:33,758 Suck my stump to a bloody lump 636 00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:37,716 S'what happened last night? 637 00:53:38,803 --> 00:53:40,556 A Mayonaisse-on-twat? 638 00:53:43,364 --> 00:53:45,116 A Mayo-on-twat 639 00:53:45,484 --> 00:53:46,600 A three-way 640 00:53:47,445 --> 00:53:50,994 A double-stuff. E.T. finger-touch 641 00:53:51,765 --> 00:53:52,720 What ? 642 00:53:57,686 --> 00:54:02,764 Y'know in E.T. where the kid and E.T. they touch fingers and go "ouch" 643 00:54:08,527 --> 00:54:10,643 You musta been wasted 644 00:54:15,648 --> 00:54:17,525 Ever done that? 645 00:54:20,329 --> 00:54:21,762 You mean, like 646 00:54:22,329 --> 00:54:25,367 have sex with two people at the same time? 647 00:54:31,130 --> 00:54:32,449 It's the best 648 00:54:34,610 --> 00:54:36,567 You start building up this momentum, 649 00:54:36,931 --> 00:54:38,000 this rhythm, 650 00:54:38,611 --> 00:54:40,329 y'know like a piston engine 651 00:54:40,811 --> 00:54:42,529 And as you're all poundin' away, 652 00:54:44,732 --> 00:54:47,724 your balls are slappin' against the other guy's 653 00:54:49,293 --> 00:54:52,490 and you can actually feel his cock 654 00:54:53,133 --> 00:54:54,885 through the girl's insides 655 00:54:57,053 --> 00:54:59,249 What're you two homos gabbing about now? 656 00:55:01,454 --> 00:55:03,331 Have either of you ever done it with an animal? 657 00:55:03,494 --> 00:55:04,325 What ? 658 00:55:05,855 --> 00:55:07,607 Have either of you had sex with an animal ? 659 00:55:07,775 --> 00:55:09,094 Just you 660 00:55:11,575 --> 00:55:12,769 No, really? 661 00:55:13,496 --> 00:55:14,645 Have you? 662 00:55:16,536 --> 00:55:18,493 Well, when I was a kid, we had this golden retriever named 'Honey' 663 00:55:18,657 --> 00:55:21,615 I do not want to hear any more of this story 664 00:55:21,816 --> 00:55:23,535 She was a consenting adult 665 00:55:26,578 --> 00:55:28,374 I fucked a cantaloupe once 666 00:55:29,978 --> 00:55:32,253 This song always reminds me of Scooter 667 00:55:32,538 --> 00:55:33,573 Who's Scooter? 668 00:55:34,458 --> 00:55:36,814 He was like my best friend all through high school 669 00:55:38,780 --> 00:55:43,217 One day he brought a gun to physics class and told everyone he was gonna shoot himself in the bathroom 670 00:55:43,380 --> 00:55:44,449 And he did 671 00:55:44,860 --> 00:55:48,091 He was always depressed, always pulling shit like that, 672 00:55:48,260 --> 00:55:49,898 so nobody believed him 673 00:55:51,861 --> 00:55:53,260 Death's funny 674 00:55:54,901 --> 00:55:58,178 Like at first, it's all weird 'n' you're bummed 'n' shit - 675 00:55:59,182 --> 00:56:02,254 like this person you're used to hangin' out with all of sudden doesn't like 676 00:56:02,662 --> 00:56:04,141 exist anymore 677 00:56:04,942 --> 00:56:07,252 But then you just get over it 'n' move on 678 00:56:08,503 --> 00:56:09,492 It's almost for the best 679 00:56:09,743 --> 00:56:12,462 I mean, Scooter was so sad all the time 680 00:56:13,904 --> 00:56:17,500 Me and him used to sit in my room, gettin' stoned, listening to the Smiths 681 00:56:19,104 --> 00:56:21,618 he was over the night before he killed himself 682 00:56:22,464 --> 00:56:26,425 right in the middle of "Unloveable", he just started cryin' like crazy 683 00:56:26,946 --> 00:56:28,823 He was really into the Smiths 684 00:56:33,226 --> 00:56:35,218 Hey Amy, remember the time we were so fucked up we lost my mom's car? 685 00:56:35,387 --> 00:56:37,582 After the Thrill Kill Kult concert? 686 00:56:38,787 --> 00:56:42,667 We were so trashed we couldn't remember where we left the car 687 00:56:43,147 --> 00:56:45,537 We looked and looked 688 00:56:45,708 --> 00:56:48,222 and we walked around and around 689 00:56:48,788 --> 00:56:51,667 but we could not find the fucking thing to save our life! 690 00:56:52,269 --> 00:56:54,988 We finally ended up taking a cab home 691 00:56:55,149 --> 00:56:56,548 Which you puked in 692 00:56:56,709 --> 00:56:58,382 Which you puked in! 693 00:56:59,670 --> 00:57:00,864 Wait 694 00:57:05,230 --> 00:57:07,062 How revolting 695 00:57:16,432 --> 00:57:17,501 Amy? What? 696 00:57:19,872 --> 00:57:20,861 Oh fuck 697 00:58:02,038 --> 00:58:03,232 Do something 698 00:58:03,638 --> 00:58:04,753 Like what? 699 00:58:05,239 --> 00:58:06,307 I don't know Something 700 00:58:08,399 --> 00:58:11,072 What, do look like a fuckin veterinarian? 701 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,434 What're you doing?! 702 00:58:29,722 --> 00:58:31,440 Jesus fucking Christ 703 00:58:49,564 --> 00:58:51,123 The world sucks 704 00:58:56,726 --> 00:58:59,478 Bro, snag the import It's got extra tracks 705 00:59:14,863 --> 00:59:15,767 I just wish I could crawl in here 706 00:59:16,008 --> 00:59:17,202 and disappear forever 707 00:59:20,048 --> 00:59:21,879 Don't you have that at home already? 708 00:59:26,489 --> 00:59:28,162 I miss my records 709 00:59:32,930 --> 00:59:33,885 Well, well, well, men Lookee here 710 00:59:34,050 --> 00:59:36,280 Check out that hot, tight bubble-butt, George 711 00:59:36,651 --> 00:59:38,881 Oh stop, Dan I'm gonna pop a boner 712 00:59:39,171 --> 00:59:41,891 Hey there, sailor Like your pretty earrings 713 00:59:42,251 --> 00:59:43,570 Leave him alone, Pat 714 00:59:43,731 --> 00:59:46,849 Can't you see he's a shy, sensitive flower? 715 00:59:48,773 --> 00:59:50,125 What's goin' on here, man? 716 00:59:50,572 --> 00:59:51,608 No way 717 00:59:52,133 --> 00:59:53,360 It can't be 718 00:59:55,253 --> 00:59:56,368 Bambi? 719 00:59:57,053 --> 00:59:58,327 Is it really you? 720 00:59:59,453 --> 01:00:00,443 Fuck 721 01:00:01,854 --> 01:00:03,128 It's me, George 722 01:00:03,654 --> 01:00:04,928 Your poopsie, 723 01:00:05,254 --> 01:00:06,529 Your snugglybear 724 01:00:07,014 --> 01:00:09,244 Look, smegma-breath I'm not whoever the fuck you think I am 725 01:00:09,415 --> 01:00:11,690 So will you just do me a favor and evacuate? 726 01:00:13,816 --> 01:00:15,727 Don't do this 727 01:00:16,096 --> 01:00:17,370 Fuck this shit 728 01:00:21,897 --> 01:00:22,932 Please 729 01:00:49,340 --> 01:00:51,775 Dig it... Someone made the bed 730 01:00:56,821 --> 01:00:59,210 I just hope we don't catch crabs or something 731 01:01:11,343 --> 01:01:14,097 Life is lonely, boring, and dumb 732 01:01:19,344 --> 01:01:20,254 Jordan, y'want heads, or tails? 733 01:01:28,266 --> 01:01:29,460 Whatever 734 01:01:31,826 --> 01:01:32,861 Heads 735 01:01:33,786 --> 01:01:34,935 Tails 736 01:01:40,627 --> 01:01:41,696 Heads 737 01:01:46,868 --> 01:01:47,857 Oh well 738 01:01:57,870 --> 01:01:59,268 There any more beer? 739 01:02:01,070 --> 01:02:02,298 In the trunk 740 01:02:08,430 --> 01:02:09,659 Have fun 741 01:02:17,512 --> 01:02:18,786 Gimme your finger 742 01:02:23,873 --> 01:02:25,465 Now stick it up my asshole 743 01:02:27,513 --> 01:02:29,344 Repulse me! No way 744 01:02:29,633 --> 01:02:30,543 C'mon 745 01:02:30,714 --> 01:02:32,784 That is the most sickening, grotesque thing I've ever-- 746 01:02:32,954 --> 01:02:33,591 Do it 747 01:02:45,916 --> 01:02:47,713 Nice and easy 748 01:03:08,238 --> 01:03:10,469 "Schoobie, schoobie, 749 01:03:11,319 --> 01:03:13,231 schmoke a doobie" 750 01:03:29,801 --> 01:03:30,917 You're up to bat 751 01:03:31,521 --> 01:03:33,797 Don't tell me you hogged all the brewskis 752 01:03:42,043 --> 01:03:44,193 Nothing makes me thirstier than a 753 01:03:45,083 --> 01:03:46,277 wicked, excellent 754 01:03:46,924 --> 01:03:47,993 fuck 755 01:03:54,004 --> 01:03:55,154 Go fer it, boyo 756 01:04:04,006 --> 01:04:05,439 X, do you like slamdancing? 757 01:04:06,246 --> 01:04:07,315 It's alright 758 01:04:07,887 --> 01:04:10,525 except when you get someone's elbow in your eye, or 759 01:04:11,086 --> 01:04:13,123 their steel-toed boot in your crotch 760 01:04:15,448 --> 01:04:16,483 Why ? 761 01:04:19,848 --> 01:04:20,997 Have you ever, 762 01:04:21,768 --> 01:04:22,837 I mean, 763 01:04:26,729 --> 01:04:28,128 does it like 764 01:04:28,289 --> 01:04:29,847 all those bodies, 765 01:04:30,689 --> 01:04:33,124 all that sweating 766 01:04:33,850 --> 01:04:35,408 'n' pushing 'n' shoving 767 01:04:36,931 --> 01:04:38,523 Does it give me a hard-on? 768 01:04:44,452 --> 01:04:45,931 Yeah, always 769 01:04:57,293 --> 01:04:59,853 I, uh, better 770 01:05:20,536 --> 01:05:23,574 Do you ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is? 771 01:05:29,217 --> 01:05:31,287 You ever wonder why we exist? 772 01:05:35,698 --> 01:05:36,813 No, what for? 773 01:05:40,859 --> 01:05:41,928 No reason 774 01:06:30,826 --> 01:06:33,784 Y'ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is? 775 01:06:35,426 --> 01:06:36,825 You gotta be kidding 776 01:06:37,906 --> 01:06:39,783 No, really 777 01:06:40,586 --> 01:06:41,906 Don't y'think about it? 778 01:06:42,907 --> 01:06:45,944 Christ, Jordan. I'm just about to come. Can we talk about this later? 779 01:06:47,828 --> 01:06:48,863 I guess 780 01:07:06,070 --> 01:07:07,708 What the fuck're you doing? 781 01:07:08,871 --> 01:07:11,101 Relax, you'll like it 782 01:07:12,311 --> 01:07:15,348 I am not going to "like" your finger shoved up my shit-chute 783 01:07:15,511 --> 01:07:17,070 That's grodified 784 01:07:17,752 --> 01:07:20,312 Jordan, will you please stop being such an uptight and live a little? 785 01:07:22,752 --> 01:07:24,027 I dunno, Amy 786 01:07:26,833 --> 01:07:28,744 Take a walik on the wild side 787 01:07:30,433 --> 01:07:31,582 Trust me 788 01:07:42,075 --> 01:07:45,306 Just relax 789 01:08:58,605 --> 01:08:59,435 Shit 790 01:08:59,605 --> 01:09:00,515 What ? 791 01:09:01,765 --> 01:09:03,084 What is it? 792 01:09:04,446 --> 01:09:05,799 I gotta pee 793 01:09:06,686 --> 01:09:07,835 Right now? 794 01:09:09,767 --> 01:09:12,884 It's not like I want to get up 'n' go out into the fuckin freezing cold y'know, 795 01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:15,601 but when Nature calls, it fucking hollers 796 01:09:18,368 --> 01:09:21,644 Just go ahead and let 'er rip while we're all coming 797 01:09:23,488 --> 01:09:25,479 That is so vile and beastly 798 01:09:25,649 --> 01:09:28,846 I can't believe any human being could even conceive of it 799 01:09:29,129 --> 01:09:32,042 Jeez, little Miss Polly Pureheart 800 01:09:34,329 --> 01:09:36,127 You are a demon from hell 801 01:09:44,051 --> 01:09:46,246 Girls have no sense of adventure 802 01:09:50,372 --> 01:09:51,521 I guess 803 01:09:58,132 --> 01:09:59,646 She better hurry 804 01:09:59,813 --> 01:10:01,690 My woody's startin' to droop 805 01:10:03,493 --> 01:10:04,687 Mine's not 806 01:10:11,655 --> 01:10:13,725 What the fuck?? 807 01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:16,895 Two little faggots 808 01:10:17,055 --> 01:10:19,126 sittin' in a bed, 809 01:10:19,976 --> 01:10:21,853 One eatin' ass, 810 01:10:22,456 --> 01:10:24,287 'n the other givin' head 811 01:10:24,696 --> 01:10:26,972 Dirty, pervert scum 812 01:10:27,537 --> 01:10:29,414 make me see red 813 01:10:30,337 --> 01:10:32,806 The world'll be a purer place 814 01:10:33,337 --> 01:10:35,374 when they're both dead 815 01:10:36,057 --> 01:10:38,367 X, man, if this is your idea of a-- 816 01:10:38,538 --> 01:10:39,607 Shut up 817 01:11:14,783 --> 01:11:15,898 Leave her alone! 818 01:11:17,423 --> 01:11:18,300 Dan 819 01:11:19,144 --> 01:11:20,975 Please fire up our favorite song 820 01:11:27,985 --> 01:11:29,782 I pledge allegiance 821 01:11:30,865 --> 01:11:32,139 to the flag 822 01:11:32,306 --> 01:11:35,342 of the United States of America 823 01:11:36,826 --> 01:11:38,020 to the Republic 824 01:11:39,427 --> 01:11:40,939 For which it stands 825 01:11:41,666 --> 01:11:43,020 One Nation 826 01:11:43,227 --> 01:11:45,297 Under God Indivisible 827 01:11:45,747 --> 01:11:47,100 Leave her the fuck alone! 828 01:11:48,507 --> 01:11:49,701 With Liberty 829 01:11:50,868 --> 01:11:51,937 And Justice 830 01:11:55,588 --> 01:11:56,578 You fuckin bitch 831 01:12:01,629 --> 01:12:04,860 You're gonna pay for that, Bambi 832 01:12:08,870 --> 01:12:11,304 Part them succulent meat curtains, darling, 833 01:12:11,951 --> 01:12:15,147 and get ready for the religious experience of your life 834 01:12:15,951 --> 01:12:17,066 You fucking asshole! 835 01:12:17,872 --> 01:12:18,747 Stop it! 836 01:12:21,351 --> 01:12:22,751 Just be patient, honey 837 01:12:23,272 --> 01:12:24,421 You'll get yours 838 01:12:24,712 --> 01:12:26,145 That's what your mom said 839 01:12:26,312 --> 01:12:27,984 - only I couldn't hear her, 840 01:12:28,592 --> 01:12:31,266 she had my sperm gurgling in her mouth 841 01:12:36,234 --> 01:12:37,553 Don't you 842 01:12:38,154 --> 01:12:39,189 ever 843 01:12:39,474 --> 01:12:41,511 Talk about my mother like that! 844 01:12:44,874 --> 01:12:47,070 You... you... 845 01:12:48,875 --> 01:12:50,275 You, dude, are going to die 846 01:12:51,236 --> 01:12:52,828 And you, Bambi 847 01:12:53,636 --> 01:12:57,316 you lying filthy fucking slut 848 01:12:57,837 --> 01:12:59,235 are gonna watch me 849 01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:02,710 help your little fairy boytoy 850 01:13:03,318 --> 01:13:05,707 shuffle off this mortal coil 851 01:10:27,141 --> 01:10:29,203 Kiss your puny, 852 01:13:16,519 --> 01:13:18,430 worthless 853 01:13:19,639 --> 01:13:20,833 cock goodbye 854 01:13:35,521 --> 01:13:37,638 Any last words, queer? 855 01:13:40,082 --> 01:13:40,878 Amy 856 01:13:44,842 --> 01:13:45,991 I love y-- 857 01:13:57,204 --> 01:14:00,322 Isn't love a many-splendored thing? 858 01:14:05,606 --> 01:14:07,163 Wake up, loverboy 859 01:14:07,845 --> 01:14:09,882 Open wide and say 860 01:14:10,126 --> 01:14:11,559 "yummy yum yum" 861 01:15:57,780 --> 01:15:59,259 Wanna Dorito?