1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,734 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 2 00:00:19,846 --> 00:00:20,930 Wanda! 3 00:00:21,256 --> 00:00:23,143 Open this door, Wanda. 4 00:00:23,908 --> 00:00:25,574 Wanda!! 5 00:00:25,576 --> 00:00:27,443 Hey, hey, Frank, buddy boy. 6 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:28,477 Oh, hey, Bob. 7 00:00:28,479 --> 00:00:29,878 The door's locked again. 8 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,381 It happens every week, doesn't it? 9 00:00:33,217 --> 00:00:36,185 - Wanda! - Did you check the mat, buddy boy? 10 00:00:36,356 --> 00:00:38,022 Oh, right... the key. 11 00:00:39,848 --> 00:00:41,347 Hey! Watch it, buddy! 12 00:00:41,349 --> 00:00:45,585 Yeah, I wish I could lie down on the job. 13 00:00:48,487 --> 00:00:51,689 Try paying off your student loans with this gig. 14 00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:55,978 This has absolutely no connection to my or anyone else I know's life. 15 00:00:56,001 --> 00:00:57,668 Well, the show was written in the '50s. 16 00:00:57,693 --> 00:01:00,728 Well, now, don't you think that they would factor that in before they put it on 17 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,099 TV in front of me here in the year 2000? 18 00:01:03,179 --> 00:01:04,278 It's a rerun. 19 00:01:04,303 --> 00:01:06,336 Well, it needs a re-face. 20 00:01:06,365 --> 00:01:08,331 Rerun? In "what's happening!!"? 21 00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,267 What's happening in "what's happening!!" Is that 22 00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:11,699 it's in constant reruns, which 23 00:01:11,777 --> 00:01:14,976 is how I know what's happening in that show at all times. 24 00:01:14,978 --> 00:01:17,012 I'm talking about rerun the character. 25 00:01:17,183 --> 00:01:18,515 And Raj and Shirley. 26 00:01:18,517 --> 00:01:21,685 And I'm talking about you rerunning your mouth and 27 00:01:21,687 --> 00:01:23,720 re-ruining my television experience. 28 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,761 I was having a good time here before you arrived. 29 00:01:26,763 --> 00:01:28,230 Like J.J. in "Good Times"? 30 00:01:28,278 --> 00:01:30,478 Yeah. Yeah, exactly like J.J. 31 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:31,711 Dynomite! 32 00:01:31,713 --> 00:01:34,714 Growing up poor and black in the Chicago projects... 33 00:01:34,716 --> 00:01:36,650 See, now, that, I can relate to. 34 00:01:37,719 --> 00:01:39,753 Damn it! The house alarm! 35 00:01:42,291 --> 00:01:45,425 I got to pay child support somehow. 36 00:01:47,318 --> 00:01:50,252 Maybe I'd get it if I, too, were in the stone age. 37 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,644 Well, I have these time thongs. 38 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,081 You wear them and you can travel back to the stone age. 39 00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:57,699 Thongs are for dongs. 40 00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,502 I have a plan that's about 1 million times better. 41 00:02:01,261 --> 00:02:04,798 I don't like going back to the past. If that zap on me. 42 00:02:05,853 --> 00:02:09,879 And over here we've The Oval Office. But only the president's allowed in there. 43 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:11,936 That's where the nuclear button is. 44 00:02:11,938 --> 00:02:13,137 Oh, great. 45 00:02:13,162 --> 00:02:18,094 Let's look at more [bleep] presidential China... over there. Way down that hall. 46 00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:20,152 Okay, sounds good. 47 00:02:25,397 --> 00:02:26,596 Hi. Is this Russia? 48 00:02:27,638 --> 00:02:29,771 Hey, eat my [bleep] you beet-munchin', 49 00:02:29,773 --> 00:02:31,706 - face-wart-having communists! - What?! 50 00:02:31,708 --> 00:02:32,975 I'm president Barack Obama, 51 00:02:33,018 --> 00:02:35,485 and I'm sending a missile straight up your poop chute! 52 00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:37,353 U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 53 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:49,924 Look, Err. 54 00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:52,268 Earth is remaking "The Granite Family." 55 00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:55,605 - What?! - It's a timeless classic, Err. 56 00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:58,322 It was made in a land before time. 57 00:02:58,368 --> 00:03:00,635 "Land Before Time" or "The Land That Time Forgot"? 58 00:03:00,646 --> 00:03:03,215 No, that's the "Land of The Lost" you're thinking. 59 00:03:03,218 --> 00:03:05,941 - Oh. - With Cha-ka. 60 00:03:07,065 --> 00:03:08,265 - See? - Damn it! 61 00:03:08,278 --> 00:03:10,345 We're gonna be back in the stone age! 62 00:03:10,347 --> 00:03:13,381 ♪ Like the mesozoic group of guys ♪ 63 00:03:13,383 --> 00:03:14,883 - Carl! - Carl! 64 00:03:14,941 --> 00:03:16,407 Carl, open up, man! 65 00:03:16,409 --> 00:03:17,908 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 66 00:03:17,911 --> 00:03:19,244 Some privacy here, huh?! 67 00:03:20,214 --> 00:03:23,927 These are our last fleeting moments together. 68 00:03:24,889 --> 00:03:26,855 I want to cherish this. 69 00:03:29,308 --> 00:03:31,141 Now bend over. 70 00:03:32,544 --> 00:03:34,678 Carl, you got a bomb shelter, right? 71 00:03:35,112 --> 00:03:36,211 Oh, right, yeah! 72 00:03:36,213 --> 00:03:38,147 - That's right... I do! - You got a bomb shelter, right? 73 00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:40,352 Yeah, awesome! Yeah! 74 00:03:40,362 --> 00:03:43,029 Sort of turned it into my man cave, you know. 75 00:03:43,031 --> 00:03:44,431 It's where I come to party. 76 00:03:44,609 --> 00:03:46,676 Check it out... Zebra. 77 00:03:46,817 --> 00:03:52,506 - "Tell Me What U Want" - 1987, though. - Wow... canned food and a water filter. 78 00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:56,018 This is probably the suckiest place I've ever been in my life! 79 00:03:56,099 --> 00:03:58,567 Hey, I got Dolby 5.1 Surround in here. 80 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,073 My Z-breakers! 81 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,340 I call 'em that 'cause... 82 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,309 'Cause I listen to Zebra on 'em. 83 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,547 Oh, man. 84 00:04:12,369 --> 00:04:13,442 Ohh! 85 00:04:15,602 --> 00:04:16,998 Left my flat-screen up there. 86 00:04:17,069 --> 00:04:19,536 Uh, it's not really a flat-screen. 87 00:04:19,538 --> 00:04:23,340 Technically, it's a rear-screen projection TV. 88 00:04:23,342 --> 00:04:25,442 It looks flat from the front. 89 00:04:25,444 --> 00:04:29,112 Bit chunky from the side, though. 90 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,081 - I'm gonna back for it. - No, Carl! It's not a flat-screen! 91 00:04:34,806 --> 00:04:36,440 Everyone chill. 92 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,576 I got a regenerator here. 93 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:42,413 We're rock-solid for the next two... 94 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,510 It says 2 1/2 hours. Oops. 95 00:04:44,587 --> 00:04:47,288 We don't need electricity for music. 96 00:04:48,335 --> 00:04:49,768 That bird is contaminated! 97 00:04:49,804 --> 00:04:53,535 This is a stone age record player... just like on "The Granite Family." 98 00:04:53,562 --> 00:04:56,496 Shrug and say something funny, like, "it's a living." 99 00:04:56,545 --> 00:04:57,911 Get it out of here! 100 00:04:58,001 --> 00:04:59,501 That was a brand-new needle. 101 00:04:59,524 --> 00:05:00,856 I'm getting scared, Frylock. 102 00:05:00,858 --> 00:05:03,426 We'll be okay, little buddy. You just stay with me, okay? 103 00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:06,197 Do you think Santa Claus knows that we relocated? 104 00:05:06,203 --> 00:05:09,137 And you think maybe we should send him a change of address? 105 00:05:10,166 --> 00:05:14,129 - If he weren't a melted pile of goo. - No! 106 00:05:14,171 --> 00:05:16,138 Let's all just stay still. 107 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:20,656 - I may be eating you later for food, and I like fatty cuts. - No! 108 00:05:20,716 --> 00:05:21,949 They're much more flavorful. 109 00:05:22,018 --> 00:05:24,752 Nobody ain't gonna eat anybody, okay?! 110 00:05:24,754 --> 00:05:26,292 - You got that?! - Fine. 111 00:05:26,389 --> 00:05:30,471 Though, it is weird that one of us is made of nothing but meat. 112 00:05:31,962 --> 00:05:33,632 Who? Who we talking... Carl? 113 00:05:33,872 --> 00:05:36,575 - I call this part right here. - Hey! 114 00:05:36,577 --> 00:05:38,043 - The tummy steak. - Hey! 115 00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:40,079 - Okay, I got to poop, y'all. - Ooh! 116 00:05:40,117 --> 00:05:41,416 You know what would be funny? 117 00:05:41,418 --> 00:05:44,319 If we had, like, an ancient Rhino and then you poop in his 118 00:05:44,393 --> 00:05:48,038 mouth and the Rhino goes like, "same [bleep] different day." 119 00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:50,220 But we don't, do we? Because guess what, Shake. 120 00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:52,710 - We ain't "The Granite Family"! - Okay. 121 00:05:52,736 --> 00:05:54,937 How about this bag here? Can I poop in this bag? 122 00:05:54,977 --> 00:05:56,477 No, no, no. That's my keg bag. 123 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:59,516 I'm supposed to return that tomorrow so I don't lose my deposit. 124 00:05:59,518 --> 00:06:03,582 Carl, the liquor store is gone, man! Everything is gone. 125 00:06:03,584 --> 00:06:05,884 So you're sayin' that... 126 00:06:05,912 --> 00:06:08,501 The keg bag and the tap is free now? 127 00:06:09,718 --> 00:06:11,947 Keg stand! Someone get my ankles. 128 00:06:14,554 --> 00:06:15,526 What? 129 00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:18,422 I know we need to ration it, but it's gonna go flat. 130 00:06:18,472 --> 00:06:20,263 Okeydokey. What do I do with this? 131 00:06:20,265 --> 00:06:21,925 - Ew! - You know what? 132 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,197 You keep the bag and you keep it far away from me. 133 00:06:24,281 --> 00:06:26,215 - That's a gift. - Thank you, Carl. 134 00:06:26,317 --> 00:06:28,484 - I got a free bag, y'all. - Get that out of here. 135 00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:29,833 You get out of here. 136 00:06:29,835 --> 00:06:31,502 I did all the work. I filled it up. 137 00:06:31,504 --> 00:06:34,434 Okay, look, we need to get together and assign duties. 138 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,607 Now, what can everyone do? 139 00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:40,635 Hey, I look at this. 140 00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:46,140 It's like a fart noise. 141 00:06:46,165 --> 00:06:48,899 Look, someone's gonna have to take this bag outside. 142 00:06:48,901 --> 00:06:50,434 And go for help, too, right? 143 00:06:50,436 --> 00:06:52,081 Yeah, sure. So let's think about this for a second. 144 00:06:52,156 --> 00:06:55,963 - Who here is the most valuable... - and is the smartest. 145 00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,602 Okay, it's settled. I'll be back with help. 146 00:06:58,628 --> 00:07:00,604 - Take the bag! - I'm getting it. 147 00:07:02,441 --> 00:07:03,974 Okay, look, y'all. 148 00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:06,938 There ain't no one out there... not for thousands of miles. 149 00:07:07,389 --> 00:07:09,422 And I only have three of these time thongs... 150 00:07:09,424 --> 00:07:11,964 And please stop farting with your arm, Carl! This is serious! 151 00:07:12,461 --> 00:07:14,427 Some of them weren't my arm. 152 00:07:16,707 --> 00:07:20,759 Oh... This is not at all like "The Granite Family." 153 00:07:20,853 --> 00:07:21,952 Where's the laughs? 154 00:07:21,954 --> 00:07:24,822 Where's all the talking animals who hate their jobs? 155 00:07:25,958 --> 00:07:28,426 I am Time Warner. 156 00:07:28,428 --> 00:07:29,927 I am Master Shake. 157 00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:33,130 I travel throughout time to warn people not to use any 158 00:07:33,132 --> 00:07:38,268 ideas from my movies or T-TV shows, or I will be forced to s-sue them. 159 00:07:38,321 --> 00:07:39,855 You want to see my record player? 160 00:07:39,889 --> 00:07:41,855 As long as it's not a-a bird. 161 00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:43,377 I-I-it's not a bird, is it? 162 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:46,714 - Oh. - I-it better not be a-a bird. 163 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,216 Carl! 164 00:07:48,297 --> 00:07:49,696 Carl!! 165 00:07:50,509 --> 00:07:51,675 Why a thong? 166 00:07:51,677 --> 00:07:54,077 I mean, why not just, like, a ring, like Green Lantern? 167 00:07:54,133 --> 00:07:55,033 I don't know. 168 00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:58,179 Or a watch, like Dick Tracy, or a belt, like Batman. 169 00:07:58,181 --> 00:08:02,947 Or them sunglasses that Keanu used in "The Matrix" that talked to computers. 170 00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:03,851 Carl!! 171 00:08:03,853 --> 00:08:05,487 I-I don't know. I didn't see it. 172 00:08:05,549 --> 00:08:08,550 - I didn't buy into the hype. - A thong just seemed like the thing to do. 173 00:08:08,624 --> 00:08:11,385 It was fresh... a new idea. Hadn't seen that before. 174 00:08:12,228 --> 00:08:16,323 - Planning to travel through t-time? - Time Warner! 175 00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:18,162 Why does everyone have thongs but me? 176 00:08:18,257 --> 00:08:21,609 - A thong? F-f-fresh. - What's going on here? 177 00:08:21,611 --> 00:08:23,645 I'm going back in time to stop you, Shake, 178 00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:25,887 before you try to remake "The Granite Family." 179 00:08:25,889 --> 00:08:29,524 I-it doesn't matter, because I'm going to, eh, to the future 180 00:08:29,526 --> 00:08:33,161 to sell the "Granite Family" remake to this fox. 181 00:08:34,064 --> 00:08:35,864 - Whoo-hoo! - I own time travel. 182 00:08:36,144 --> 00:08:41,776 It's my, eh, my thing, and if you use it, I'll t-t-tell you to cease and d-d-d-desist. 183 00:08:41,823 --> 00:08:43,959 Oh, come on, man. You don't have the market on this. 184 00:08:43,961 --> 00:08:45,127 Tons of people have done it. 185 00:08:45,129 --> 00:08:46,162 - "Time bandits." - Own it. 186 00:08:46,164 --> 00:08:47,363 - "Terminator." - Own it. 187 00:08:47,365 --> 00:08:48,697 - "Timecop." - Own it. 188 00:08:48,699 --> 00:08:50,399 - "Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision"? - Own it. 189 00:08:50,401 --> 00:08:52,134 - "The Butterfly Effect"? - Own it. 190 00:08:52,136 --> 00:08:53,903 - "Butterfly Effect 2"? - Own it. 191 00:08:53,905 --> 00:08:55,938 - "Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations"? - Own it. 192 00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:57,273 - "Timescape." - Um, o-own it. 193 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,742 - "Beastmaster 2: Through The Portal of Time"? - Own it. 194 00:08:59,744 --> 00:09:01,310 - "Hot Tub Time Machine"? - Own it. 195 00:09:01,312 --> 00:09:04,213 - "Timerider: The adventure of Lyle Swann"? - Own it. 196 00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:08,867 - "Rhine Song." - Own it. 197 00:09:08,955 --> 00:09:10,854 Not if I have anything to say about it. 198 00:09:13,059 --> 00:09:15,359 Who knows how to get the underwear to work? 199 00:09:15,365 --> 00:09:17,766 Maybe you're getting some interference off that can 200 00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:19,301 of peaches you got in your britches. 201 00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:22,671 Oh, come on. Who put this in here? 202 00:09:24,175 --> 00:09:28,377 Well, I guess now I am legend. 203 00:09:28,379 --> 00:09:29,812 You don't own that one, right? 204 00:09:29,814 --> 00:09:33,649 Forever. In perpe-perpet-perpet... 205 00:09:33,651 --> 00:09:34,784 Myuh-myuh-myuh... 206 00:09:34,786 --> 00:09:36,218 Perp... heh heh... 207 00:09:36,223 --> 00:09:37,389 Aah! 208 00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:39,066 For really long time? 209 00:09:40,634 --> 00:09:44,700 And over here we've The Oval Office. But only the president's allowed in there. 210 00:09:44,754 --> 00:09:46,521 That's where the nuclear button is. 211 00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:47,671 Oh, great. 212 00:09:47,673 --> 00:09:51,473 Let's look at more [bleep] presidential China... over there. 213 00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:54,355 - Way down that Hall. - Okay, sounds good. 214 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,643 - Hey, how are you? - Hey, yourself. 215 00:10:05,986 --> 00:10:07,997 Sorry, Shake. Not this time. 216 00:10:08,033 --> 00:10:09,132 Frylock! 217 00:10:09,156 --> 00:10:10,956 Open the door, Frylock! 218 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,358 Hello, Frylick. 219 00:10:13,472 --> 00:10:15,405 Wait a minute. I just locked you outside! 220 00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,508 - Did you? - You can't do this to me! 221 00:10:17,578 --> 00:10:22,753 You messed with the rift of the passage of time, thus changing it forever... 222 00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:25,983 'Cause you did it the other way. 223 00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:29,587 There's a smarter way of saying that, but I didn't like it in the script. 224 00:10:29,589 --> 00:10:32,241 This doesn't make any sense. This is the past. How are there two of you? 225 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,398 I don't care. 226 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,200 - I'm the president of the United States. - Wait a minute. 227 00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:38,137 - You're the what?! - Guards, seize him! 228 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,066 Hey, wait! N-n-no! You got the wrong one! 229 00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,158 No, wait! Shake! Shake! 230 00:10:44,597 --> 00:10:48,427 - Shake!! - Happens every week, doesn't it? 231 00:10:49,313 --> 00:10:51,814 You should, uh, check the mat, Fryman. 232 00:10:54,524 --> 00:10:55,924 This is not believable. 233 00:10:55,926 --> 00:10:59,123 There should be a key under the... under the mat so they can get in. 234 00:10:59,129 --> 00:11:01,262 What if the mat said something? 235 00:11:01,264 --> 00:11:03,632 Like he was bored with his job as a mat. 236 00:11:03,684 --> 00:11:05,884 Like, "an-another day, an-another dollar"? 237 00:11:05,945 --> 00:11:07,714 Whoo-hoo! I like it. 238 00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:09,030 Sundays at 9:00. 239 00:11:09,032 --> 00:11:14,299 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru.